#(the exact time and month; the method; etc)

[wonder-worker]

"Mancini, an Italian visitor to England, was concerned for (Edward V and Richard of Shrewsbury's) fate as early as mid July. Well before he left England in that month, the princes, he later wrote, 'were withdrawn into the inner apartments of the Tower and were seen more and more rarely behind the bars and windows, till at length they ceased to appear at all'. Rumours of the princes' deaths were already circulating by the year's end. George Cely reported that he had heard that Edward V might be dead not long after 13 June, and certainly before his uncle claimed the throne. The Crowland chronicler, writing in about 1486, recalled how the rumour arose in September 1483 that 'the princes, by some unknown manner of destruction, had met their fate'. Some early reports went further, stating quite categorically that the princes were no longer alive. Robert Ricart, recorder of Bristol, entered in his Kalendar under the year ending 15 September 1483 that 'in this year the two sons of King Edward were put to silence in the Tower of London'. Shortly after 1485 the anonymous compiler of a genealogy of English kings concluded his work by accusing Richard, with his accomplice Buckingham, of murdering the princes. A London citizen, in some historical notes written before the end of 1488, noted that 'they were put to death in the Tower of London' in the mayoral year ending November 1483. John Rous, writing in 1489, reported that Richard killed the princes within three months of welcoming Edward V at Stony Stratford on 30 April; Richard, he wrote, 'received his lord king Edward V blandly with embraces and kisses, and within three months or a little more he killed him with his brother'. Rumours to similar effect reached France. In a speech to the estates general in 1484 the chancellor of France, Guillaume de Rochefort, reminded his audience how Edward IV s sons had been murdered and the crown seized by the murderer."

-Nigel Saul, "The Three Richards: Richard I, Richard II and Richard III"

*Just to add, Casper Weinrich of Danzig's chronicle at the end of 1483 also states that, "Richard, the King's brother, has put himself in power and crowned in England and he had his brother's children killed" and then in 1485 "King Richard of England, who had had his brother Edward’s children killed, was killed about St. Lawrence Day"

[bubblegumgothglados]

Do you want to hurt your victim?

Like really really hurt them? Like worst pain they've ever felt? And you want to do it with minimal risk of permanent damage?

Have you considered pulling their fingernails out? Here's a guide

What you'll need

Restraints. You probably want them supine in case they faint. You definitely want the hand you're working on well restrained so they can't flinch half way through and hurt themselves. You also probably want to gag them so they don't bite their tongue off by accident.

Tourniquet. To cut off the blood supply before removing the nail and then to help reduce the blood loss afterwards.

Pliers. For the actually pulling, you want maximum surface area but you also don't want to be flattening the curved edges of the nail because snapping it would be bad. So the exact size that'll be best will depend on the nail you're trying to pull. In any case make sure you can get a really good grip on it.

Anesthetic and pain killers. I'm assuming you only have access to over the counter stuff but get the best you can. If your victim uses their safe word when their nail is half way off dose them with pain meds and apply a topical numbing agent. From there you can either get them to a doctor to finish the job with proper local or finish it yourself because once its half way off it has to come all the way off it will not reattach.

Wound care supplies. Antiseptic, gauze, bandages, etc. I'm assuming you know wound care already.

Method

Restrain them as much as you feel necessary, sterilise the area and your tools, have your wound care supplies ready, clamp pliers down onto the nail, apply firm steady pressure up and away from the finger, wiggle slightly as it comes off. Pretty simple really.

As always if anything goes wrong be ready to call emergency services and get your victim to the ER. But really there's very little that can go wrong here. The only complication would be the nail snapping in which case you would finish removing the piece of nail you still have a hold of and then remove the snapped pieces.

Aftercare

Apply pressure until bleeding stops. Slather on antiseptic, wrap in gaze, and bandage. Do not apply ice, ice does reduce swelling but swelling is part of the healing process and ice impedes that process increasing total heal time. Re-bandage after a day or two, if the bandage has stuck to the wound run it under water until it loosens, do not soak (do not let them go for a swim). Keep an eye out for signs of infection.

Normal aftercare rules apply I.e. snacks, fluids, rest, and whatever emotional aftercare you both like and need.

Make sure your victim keeps their hand above heart level as much as possible over the next five days to stop blood from pooling in the wound.

There is the risk of damaging the nail bed causing the nail to grow back not quite the same. I've had this happen to me and it's slightly annoying not actually a problem

The nail should grow back in about six months, and then of course you can rip it out again

[creaturefeaster]

what would ids in stolla look like? i wanted to make some for ocs and was wondering if you had an idea for them

I think this is a really cool question, because it's not something I've ever considered in detail before until now.

Graphically, the background would probably be a little more interesting, but I made this quickly on my laptop so I was artistically limited-- here:

IDs of the Talpian Dominion, as well as Sunkeep, would vary from this design as they are sovereign to Stolla, but still function independently. I can try and make IDs for them in the future if it interests, but for now I figure this ID is pretty catch-all otherwise.

So a (mostly) filled out ID would look like this:

There's probably some stuff I'd tack on if I had more time to design this, such as a blood type identifier, and personally I'd find it cooler if it wasn't a standard rectangle shape, but this design was based on real world IDs, and I think this still gets most of what you'd need to know across for now.

If you're curious about the exact details on how an ID is produced, I'll explain below the readmore.

DI: Date Issued. Looking back on this, there should probably be an expiration date, perhaps on the lower right corner. ^^

SEX: Dependent on race. Many races have dimorphism similar to humans... more or less, though some (Vixen, Normals, etc.) have a wider range of sexes and are labeled as such.

The most common identifiers you would see on an ID would be: X(nondescript), F(female), M(male), MX(monolex, for some plant people).

EYES: No. of eyes, and color

HAIR: Natural hair color

HGT: Height on record

WGT: Weight on record

ELMT: Whether or not this person has elemental capabilities.

X is the lack of the elemental method, E/A/W/F are indicators of Earthen, Air, Water, and Fire elemental individuals. Typically you would only see this on races that are in touch with a certain element. For instance, many plant people are elementally inclined towards earth, and therefore would be labeled as E if they are found to have this connection.

RC: Residential ID code, has 18 to 19 digits, and can be decoded as such:

00 , 0000, 00.00.0000 , 00, 00.0

TR, NEID, DD.MM.YYYY, DI, RI.A

TR: Territory.

Each territory is labeled 00 through 14, the Talpian Dominon & Sunkeep are not in the registry.

NEID: Name Entry in Database.

Number of people active and registered with this exact name to date, within the territory.

DDMMYYYY: Birthdate.

DI: Day of the month this card was issued (Ignore the fact that I entered this part of April's ID incorrectly ._.)

RI(A): Racial identity marker, and affliction if applicable.

Races are listed from 11 through 28, noting 18 recognized races within Stolla. (A) is marked as a 0 unless afflicted as a vampire, zombie, or were-animal. It is very rare to see IDs with positive affliction markers, as very few are able to achieve legality. I probably don't need to mention that it's telling enough on it's own that there's a marker for affliction at all.

Each territory has it's own emblem, but I don't really have those fleshed out right now so it stays blank for now, haha.

Date of birth is listed under the emblem on the right side, and beneath that is their race in print.

Markers are for things like you would see on our cards in real life. Donors, veterans, notable allergies, etc.

Like I said, this isn't something I've thought about really until I read this ask this morning, so it's not what I would call a finalized version, but you can assume the data entry would all work the same, even if I did adjust the design a bit down the line.

Thanks for this question 🖤

[gallifreyinstituteforlearning]

How does time work on Gallifrey? What do their calendars look like, is it like ours 365 days and 12 months?

How does time work on Gallifrey?

Gallifreyan time is as complicated as you think it is, and it can be a bit mind-bending to wrap your head around, especially if you're used to the conventional flow of time that Earthlings experience.

⏳Inner Time

One of the first things to know is that Gallifrey exists in a time state known as Inner Time or Gallifreyan Absolute Time—a realm "outside" of regular Universal time, separated by powerful barriers and advanced technology. Essentially, Gallifrey's history and continuity are protected and separate from the rest of the universe's flow of time. This means that any events or disasters etc. that affect the wider Universe's flow of time will not affect Gallifrey - it will always flow at its own pace.

However, just to confuse you, Inner Time flows about 5 times faster than normal time in the universe, and it's actually been slowing down by about 1 second every hour, so the time difference isn't as dramatic as it used to be. This means Gallifrey's time is slowing down to sync up with Earth's time (but very, very slowly).

📅Gallifreyan Time Systems

There are several methods for keeping track of time on Gallifrey, and the most prominent ones are:

Gallifreyan Absolute Time (Local Dateline): Gallifreyan timekeeping began with the installation of the Eye of Harmony in the Citadel, marking the start of the Rassilon Era (RE). This system measures time from the perspective of those living within Inner Time on Gallifrey. Dates are written with the suffix 'RE' (Rassilon Era), and they can get quite long, so they can be reduced to a five-digit format (e.g., 5725.2 RE). So, for example, the Doctor's loom date could be recorded as 2004716.44 RE, or 4716.4 RE (sources vary).

Date Index/Gallifreyan Mean Time: This system uses a Date Index format, like 3-0-9-9-0-6 or an abbreviated two-digit version (like 92). It tracks Inner Time, but this system doesn’t seem to be used much outside Gallifrey, possibly reserved for more scientific purposes.

Gallifreyan TL Dating System: Possibly a Time Lord exclusive, this tracks time on Gallifrey from around 100,447 years before the Doctor's birth. Quite what happened on this date to start a brand new calendar is a bit of a mystery, but it could possibly be related to the Gallifreyan Civil War or the creation of the first of the Newblood Houses.

GRT (Gallifreyan Relative Time): This is probably just dates relative to each planet—i.e., how each planet tracks its own time. So when they're discussing the start of the First World War on Earth, it's just 1914 CE or AD, as humans would say.

Relative Date: This system converts GRT into Gallifreyan Absolute Time/Local Dateline. For example, the Eye of Harmony was activated in the year 3.5 billion BC on Earth (so, 0 RE), and Earth's 1999 AD is 3,500,034,139.89 RE. It essentially allows Gallifreyans to compare their time to what’s happening 'outside' in the rest of the universe.

Revised Local Dateline: This system adjusts the Local Dateline to compensate for the gradual slowing of Inner Time. It's used primarily in the Matrix and APC, which rely on accurate time tracking. It's more precise and takes into account the overall slowing of Gallifreyan time.

��️ Gallifreyan Calendar and Timekeeping

While Gallifreyan time is more complicated in how it's counted, it does have basic systems that overlap with how Earth measures time.

Gallifreyan Years are around the same length as Earth years (around 350 days), but a year is divided into 13 or 14 months, each roughly 27 days long.

Gallifreyan Days are still 24 hours like Earth days, but they're divided into 18-hour days with 9 hours of daylight and 9 hours of night, for some insane reason. The exact hours change with seasons and geography, so perhaps the length of a day might change throughout the year to give an average of 24 hours.

Weeks are mentioned, but the Doctor finds the concept a bit weird, possibly because Gallifreyan 'weeks' might be more fluid and not as significant as Earth’s seven-day cycle.

🏫 So ...

In summary, Gallifreyan time is a wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey mess of systems and shifts, but it works for them. It's all stupidly complicated and my head hurts.

Related:

📺|🗣️⏲️The Timing of a Time Lord

💬|⏰🎉What are some major Gallifreyan traditions and holidays?: Events through the Gallifreyan calendar.

💬|🗣️✍️How do Time Lords write coordinates?: How coordinates get written and work in TARDISes.

Hope that helped! 😃

Any purple text is educated guesswork or theoretical. More content ... →📫Got a question? | 📚Complete list of Q+A and factoids →😆Jokes |🩻Biology |🗨️Language |🕰️Throwbacks |🤓Facts →🫀Gallifreyan Anatomy and Physiology Guide (pending) →⚕️Gallifreyan Emergency Medicine Guides →📝Source list (WIP) →📜Masterpost If you're finding your happy place in this part of the internet, feel free to buy a coffee to help keep our exhausted human conscious. She works full-time in medicine and is so very tired 😴

[roboticprince100]

The Power of Repetition

Repetition is the essence of manifestation. But the question is what kind of repetition? What exactly to repeat? Affirmations? Scripts? Imaginal scenes? I will discuss exactly what, when and how much to repeat. My favourite techniques are robotically affirming, mindful affirming and writing/typing affirmations. You can change the technique according to what you follow in the paragraphs below, but do follow the procedure.

The best technique is what you decide. The fastest technique is what you decide. The key to manifestation is what you decide.

As you might have noticed with other things in life, repetition is the real key to harnessing the power of your subconscious mind. This has been scientifically proven. You learn to cook by repeating the process and improving day by day, same with driving, same with learning a musical instrument, training in a new sport, learning a new language, etc. You can't become an expert in a single day and you can't remain a beginner after 6 months. This same applies to manifesting your desires.

Repeat 1-2 affirmations with a timer of 15 minutes during the day, for at least 4 times. So you have completed 1 hour of repetition. While going to sleep, never ever go to sleep without repeating your affirmations. Never ever. Set a timer of 1 hour, this should be the last hour before sleep. Close your eyes, repeat in your mind or out loud if you want to listen to yourself and just focus on your words. Personally, I repeat out loud in a low voice, because hearing it keeps me focused. So in a day, you have a total of 2 hours of repetition. Do this for 30 days and see for yourself. If you remain disciplined and consistent, if you won't miss a single day, you will surprise yourself. Imagine doing this for 6 months or 1 year, the impact on your mental health, subconscious faith and general attitude towards life would be unbelievable.

You can do this exact thing with imagination/visualization, SATS, scripting, writing, whatever your technique is. Two hours of daily repetition should be followed diligently. I sometimes do 3-4 hours a day when I am free. I have started enjoying it, I write, affirm and type, I only do what I love because I have seen amazing results so my faith is unshakeable.

If it feels like a chore, still do it. If it feels tiring, still do it. If it feels boring and useless, still do it. If it feels stupid, still DO IT. This is the reason why I always ask people to choose their favourite technique. It becomes easy to remain consistent when you love to do something. Don't follow anyone, make your own comfortable technique and stick with it. Every single technique works, every customised technique works, every unique method works, whatever you want to believe in, it works. Manifestation is the most flexible and adaptable thing in the entire universe, so stop worrying and repeat your methods.

If you are not able to manifest your desire, the only reason is discipline and consistency. The only reason is discipline and consistency, fix this hard in your mind. You waver and never stick with one thing and then ask questions regarding instant manifestation. Imagine your younger sibling is starting to learn to drive, then you meet them after 6 months, they still can't drive properly. You know the reason why.

Repetition is the strongest mental diet. Practice and repeat to change your inner world to such a degree that if 3D circumstances go bad or worse, you can smile and say F you. The mirror can't smile before you do, the 3D can't go worse if your inner world is perfect. Perfection is only achieved with practice, practice and practice. Good luck!

[widowbitessting]

how would the trio react if baby was really overwhelmed with school? like she’s really stressed and was hiding it well but eventually just brakes down in front of them?

it’s completely fine if you don’t want to answer this

Hope you all enjoy

Livvy

xoxo

I feel like they'd see you come home, all smile at you but when your body starts to tremble and your eyes glass over with tears, their smiles would stop.

Natasha would be straight off her chair and approach you quickly, engulfing you in a warm embrace as you fully breakdown with the stress of everything.

Your heart would be hammering in your chest, throat tight, constricted as you howl and burrow into her neck or shoulder.

They would just hold you.

Let you have this cry that has been building for however long and offer small words of reassurance into your ears as you grip onto whoever is hugging you then.

If it goes as far as a full blown panic attack, Wanda would be the one to step in and bring you out of it; using different methods until you're breathing normally and are able to stop shaking.

When you're able to vocalise back to them, Carol would then ask a simple question.

"Sofa or the bed?"

Irregardless of the option you tell them, they'd do the exact same care.

You'd be carried to your desired location - because a princess shouldn't walk - and placed down in the middle.

Wanda would go and make you your favourite caffeinated drink as a one off treat, just to see you smile.

Every time your eyes stare off, Natasha would gently pull you back to her and make sure you're still with them. They can't lose you to your thoughts again.

Carol would then wrap you up in a blanket and then they would ask you to tell them what's wrong.

And wait so patiently for you to do so.

Even if you open your mouth and all that comes out is a squeak or more tears.

The Trio! will wait.

You eventually tell them about school. About the stress of it all and how you're so overwhelmed you don't think you can do it anymore.

They'd let you rant, let you get it out of your system until they offer their support.

Wanda saying she'll even go as far to get you a sick note for a week so you can look after yourself mentally.

It's something you contemplate.

Between the four of you though, you come up with small plans to ease the load on your shoulders.

Like one of them dropping you off at classes and picking you up so you don't have to walk (if there are days where you'd prefer to walk, one of the Trio! would either offer to walk with you or give you space, whichever you need). So you can enjoy that 30-45 minutes extra in bed.

Ensuring you have a proper lunch with you in a lunchbox of your choosing so you can eat during your breaks, and not just rely on caffeine and sugary snacks.

Help you in anyway they can with assignments, homework, essays, revision etc.

Help you understand that you're not alone through all of this.

The Trio! are right there with you to support you.

Everything that gets put into place is 100% on your terms.

They never want to come across as controlling.

Ever.

So the new rules are mentioned, discussed and agreed on by the four of you.

It's something you want.

Not something you've been made to do.

Natasha even cancels travel plans to ensure you're happiness and safety first.

Who's going to fire her?

It could take days, weeks or even months, for you to finally come back to them; less stressed, happier and back to being their bratty submissive whom they adore and love.

But that wouldn't stop them.

They would be with you every step of the way.

On the good days.

On the bad.

Because they love you.

[liyahaffirmed]

success story.’ (love/new sp)

—————————————————————————————————————

‘love and letting go of things that dont serve you.

—————————————————————————————————————

so, let’s first talk about my old sp, we’ll call him..”jake.” jake was my first love, we grew up together and his family is like my own. i loved him to hell and back, and at some point i think he loved me too. but eventually..it was just..lost.

he never called me, never texted me, if we talked i had to text/call first and he ALWAYS put his “bestie” (another girl) over me. so i just decided one day i would let him go, and i did. the exact same day i told my sister (not by blood) i was officially done with jake..4 hours later i was on the phone with her and she asked me if she could put me on with her brother (not by blood), and we hit it off!

a few months ago, towards the beginning of the year, i researched how to “manifest the perfect guy.”

the instructions were simple

grab a notebook, piece of paper etc

write down all of your requirements for your dream guy, write down any and every detail, physical feature, aspect of their personality, that you cant think of! even down to the smallest details!

then you can use your preferred method of manifestation to make him come to you! mine was to completely forget about it, but yours may be affirming, robotic affirming, love attracting subliminals, going into the void state, etc!

what i notice with these stories (and my own) is that you don’t seek him, you don’t go find him (or her!), he finds you! if he himself isn’t seeking you out then someone else is introducing yall etc etc..

with my specific situation, my sister had introduced me to him, and he took the reigns from there!

my new sp, we’ll call him..”calum” is an absolutel sweetheart. he spoils me, makes me feel happy, makes me laugh and smile every day, calls me and texts me all the time, & calls me cute nicknames. he’s the cutest sweetest loverboy ive ever met!

sometimes, you have to let of something that is no longer serving you. let go of toxic love and manifest a new, better, much healthier love for yourself, because you deserve it! you deserve better!

- liyah 💘

[xoxitgirl]

˚⊹₊ ⋆ updated manifestation routine ₊˚｡

2024 it-girl manifesto

hi all! so my last manifestation routine I feel like I missed a lot + have a new mindset now so I’m going to break it down in a better way lol. a lot of my mindset has been developed through esoteric philosophy, teachings of neville goddard, and edward art.

the foundation—

so this is what i base my thought process on, everything is mental. this is literally the first principle I learned of esoteric philosophy—mentalism. the mind has effects over all; mentally, spiritually, and physically. for anything to be/exist it has to come from the mind, this is also considered the “law of self” or the “law of one.” since our minds literally can’t comprehend what is imagined to be experienced vs what we’ve actually lived through, we can literally change ANYTHING through consciously shifting our awareness. some things may be viewed as “harder” or “more difficult” but in essence its the same exact process every time. and I only mean like conscious manifestation and not like past events/trauma.

rule one: find what works for you and practice consistency.

rule two: if you have it in your mind, it is already yours. feel it, touch it, smell it, embrace it. use your senses.

rule three: what is inside of you is outside of you—let it reflect without desperation, fear, or pressure.

intention comes first

if you lead with no direction where will you go? being able to understand what it is you want is a necessity to me when it comes to manifestation. I like to think of it as a mini ritual; writing or deciding your intention and then diving into the mindset revamp and everything else in store.

journaling, journaling, and more journaling

I journal literally everything in every style—meaning; when I start journaling I write short paragraphs expressing gratitude for my current manifestations. for more in depth desires, I will write pages about the experience of getting my desire, the feelings I felt, the people involved, the setting, etc. similar to gratitude letters, I just write gratitude vaunts. when I’m not vaunting I’m setting goals. goals can easily help us understand what we want and what we can do in the meantime to feel like we have it. I also journal sporadically, I read through all the things i’ve manifested through a couple months—for some reason this works insanely well for me.

state akin to sleep

SATS or state akin to sleep is basically being completely relaxed/in a drowsy state and envisioning your desire so its like you’re falling asleep in the wish fulfilled. this is useful because when you’re in this state, your mind is more accepting and receptive of your desires. neville breaks this idea down in depth but in short, there will be less opposition because you experience having your desire in this state and as I love saying; as above so below. as you continue this method the mental and physical planes will align.

subliminals + affirmation tapes

I always binge listen to subs for around a week to a month and then stop for at least 2 weeks minimum. idk why i just don’t like repetitive tasks but this way of sporadic listening has always helped me manifest better because I allow my manifestation to come to me. especially if it’s something I think is more of a material manifestation like a new car—I made a car sub and stopped listening after like 3 months of constant listening and my dad told me to clean out my car for my dream car.. like let it come to you babes.

detaching!!!

in my mind detaching is equally as important as intention. if you’re obsessing over something its more likely you’ll focus on the lack in the 3d instead of the abundance you have in the 4d. I force myself to not worry about my sp, put my phone down when I’m worried ab sales, and just relax because what is mine will always be mine. ways to detach… going on walks, drawing, focusing on hobbies, working out, yoga, listening to music, hanging out with friends or family, going for a drive, literally anything that brings you back to center and allows you to stop thinking excessively about your desire.

affirming 24/7

im always asking and telling myself how I would think as my most desirable self. when i’m worried about the weather, my designs, if my dates will go the way i want, or if my packages will arrive on time I affirm immediately, “the weather is always so amazing. I love driving in my area’s calm, nice weather. everybody always loves my designs, why wouldn’t they? I’m literally one of the most famous designers in the world. I always have picturesque fairytale like dates with my SP because he loves me and wouldn’t let me settle for less tff” and like its been mentioned before, we have thousandss of thought a day so a negative thought literally cant hurt you or your manifestation but affirming can be extremely helpful for those with anxiety or intrusive thoughts imo.

manifestation lists

i write a list of everything I’ve manifested every month to remind myself of my power. at times ill even throw in a few things that I am wanting at the moment to remind myself it’s already mine. every time I manifest consciously I scroll through the list just as like a confidence booster I guess.

visualizing + vision boards

im constantly visualizing what I want in my present. literally money in my hands, my new computer in front of me—visualize, visualize, visualize. thats definitely a really big part of my routine, also making vision boards and having them on my phone, on my walls, etc. using apps to make it more convenient like vsco, pinterest, notion.

sigils

making sigils helps me kinda detach too! this is definitely not a necessity, I only remake my sigils every year or when I feel uneasy about something. over time i’ve noticed that with ones i’ve used for safety/peace, I have to actively choose which energy to embody. nobody will come into my space causing me to be in a stressful mood unless I allow it—imo it helps a lot with conscious creation.

challenges + rules

I make a lot of challenges that I do privately and every time I stop/revert to thinking about the 3d I have to restart. I always give myself repercussions for feeding into a lack mindset because why would I do that when I live a life of abundance? im not like hard on myself or anything its just about maintaining the idea until it saturates. I also use like 10-20 manifestation rules that I have and follow on a daily basis, I would also recommend making your own list of rules because if you don’t have a standard to follow its harder to stay focused. some of mine are—

ᥫ᭡ everything I desire manifests the second I desire it.

ᥫ᭡ I manifest anything I want instantly.

ᥫ᭡ only my desired thoughts manifest.

ᥫ᭡ nothing can stop me from getting what I want.

ᥫ᭡ the 3D changes instantly for me.

ᥫ᭡ I have such potent undeniable incredible power.

ᥫ᭡ I always manifest what I want on the spot.

as above so below, as within so without.

itgirl ⊹ ࣪ ˖

[degusart]

commission info

Hello all!

If you are interested in commissioning me, feel free to reach out via Discord or Tumblr DMs or Email me at Rileymarepruitt@gmail (dot) com.

All commission slots are served at a first-come-first-serve basis.

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[clanwarrior-tumbly]

Hello dear! It's been a long time :)

I've read some of your Mandela Catalog fanfics and they are amazing!

I would like to make a request, how about the Reader (who was a friend of the Murray's and took care of Adam after the divorce as Lynn didn't have much time to spend with him) take custody of him after his parents died?

Adam at least grew up with someone :) and the Reader always sang songs when he got sad about his parents...

But the events are the same as the Mandela Catalog (Volume 1 and 2 etc.)

In the meantime, the Reader ends up dying for an Alternative, after months of the Reader's death, the events of volume 2 happen and then the events of Mandela Catalyst happen.

Basically, Thatcher finds Adam singing one of the songs that the Reader sang to him to calm him down, but since it's not the Reader singing...he can't calm down at all .

Just Angst in general...sorry :)

Oh boy this one hurt a LOT to write. Strap in and be ready for (several) different timeskips (and a whole lot of angst)

.........

--September 1992--

"Hey, [y/n]. I'm so sorry to bother you, but-"

"It's okay. What's up? Do you need me to watch him for a bit?"

"...I actually needed to talk to you about something important, but he hasn't stopped crying, and...shit...I-I just need a little bit of help if that's alright. I can't calm him down."

Hearing Lynn's exhausted sigh over the phone, you frowned slightly. It especially pained your heart to hear her son's wailing in the background, yet you realized she called you around this specific hour last time..with the exact same problem.

It was strange, honestly.

You would've thought she'd figured out what was going on with Adam by now.

"Wasn't Jude there earlier? Don't tell me he bailed and that's why he's-"

"No. He actually showed up this time and watched him while I was in a meeting. Everything was fine..a-and Adam didn't make any fuss when he left. But now he just started up the waterworks again and...god, I don't know what to do anymore.."

"Well you tell the little guy to hang tight, okay?" You reassured her as you grabbed your keys, jacket, and shoes. "I'm on my way over."

"Thank you so much, [y/n]..I'm sorry about this-"

"Don't be. It's not your fault. I'll see you in a few."

"Alright, see you soon."

After hanging up the phone, you headed out the door and got into your vehicle, driving to the Murray's residence.

You've been close friends with Jude and Lynn, having supported them through nearly every milestone of their relationship: when they had their son, when they got married, and....when they unfortunately went through a divorce two years later.

To this day, you still weren't sure what caused their relationship to crash and burn. They were highschool sweethearts who hoped to move into the big city and have kids--the kind of dream any couple would wanna live out.

But then they became incredibly stressed over raising just one child alone, and thought rushing into marriage would resolve things quickly.

Instead, it only caused more friction between them.

Regardless, you still wanted to help them out. So you've offered to watch Adam for a few hours while Lynn went to work, or if she just needed to get out of the house and take a breather.

He's a good kid...aside from being either quiet or having huge crying fits with consistent patterns to them. You suspected he saw something scary and violent on television once and hasn't recovered since.

Lynn mentioned a toddler stress assessment he took, showing his scores ranging from low to zero, indicating he didn't respond to the stimuli properly. She would have been more concerned if other children his age didn't share similar results, all apparently due to them being witnesses to a "phenomena".

Whatever it was, it must've been traumatic enough for him to have these meltdowns seemingly out of the blue.

But you always succeeded at calming him down. Lynn mom had yet to see your methods, though she's convinced you're some kind of "miracle worker", doing a better job at parenting than she or Jude could.

Fortunately, she was going to find out today.

You arrived at the house, exchanging sympathetic smiles with the exhausted mother before she led you to Adam's room. There, he was in the corner bawling his eyes out.

"Adam, sweetie? Someone's here to see you." She cooed, but to no avail as he didn't even look up at her. Sighing in defeat, she stepped aside when you reassured her you'll handle it.

"Hey, buddy. It's me again." You spoke softly, kneeling down on the floor in front of Adam. For a moment, he fell silent and glanced up at you, hiccupping on occasion.

But when you opened your arms up to him, he started crying even louder and clung to you tightly. "Oh it's okay, kiddo. Shhh, I'm here." You hushed, holding him as you stood back up. "[Y/n]'s here now."

He could only blubber your name in response, snot and tears dribbling down his face as he nuzzled into your shoulder. You rubbed his back, wishing you could take away whatever made him this upset.

Since that wasn't possible, you did the only thing you could do in that moment.

And that was sing.

More specifically, sing a song you heard on the radio earlier today. It's one of your favorites, which always helps you calm down after a stressful day; surely it'll help Adam in his case, too.

Although your voice was soft and quiet, it managed to reach his ears as you sang to him, and eventually it worked its magic. His sobs died into sniffles, and then sniffles into silence.

You smiled. "Did you like that one? That's one of my favorites."

He nodded, now resting his head on your shoulder and closing his puffy eyes as you kept rubbing his back, humming softly. Before you knew it, he was fast asleep.

"....are you serious? I've tried singing to him and it does nothing!" Lynn whispered, astonished you were able to resolve that in a minute, when usually it took her an hour.

"Sorry, I guess he likes my voice better." You chuckled lightly, before your eyes shifted around the room. "Where do you want him? The crib as usual?"

"...as usual. I know he's supposed to be grown out of it, but he refuses to sleep anywhere else."

"It'll happen eventually, I'm sure." You set Adam down, making sure the pillow was comfortably underneath his head. Then you turned back to Lynn. "So...you wanted to talk about something?"

"It's..on the kitchen table." She muttered, confusing you as she turned and walked out the room.

You followed her to the aforementioned section of the house, noticing documents on the table. One mentioned child custody, which was signed by her and Jude...but also had a third blank line on it as well.

"Jude and I had a long talk, and...we both decided that if, god forbid, anything should happen to us and we can't be here to take care of Adam...we'd make you his legal guardian." She explained. "I know it's a lot to ask of you right now and I doubt we'll even need this, but-"

"I'll sign it."

She blinked. "R-Really? I mean..there's no rush. If you need time to think about it-"

"My mind's been made up. With those broadcasts having everyone on edge, it's better to be safe than sorry. But I hope it won't come to that." You picked up the pen, clicking it as you sat down to read the document. "I just sign here? Do I have to go to the court?"

"No, you can just sign it and I'll bring it to them tomorrow." She swallowed the lump in her throat, choking back tears of relief. "I-I just want Adam to grow up in a better place and..we trust that you can do that should it be necessary."

Nodding in understanding, you signed the paper, slipping it back into the folder before you gave Lynn a hug. "If this helps you guys out, then it's fine with me. Does Adam know?"

"W-We're gonna tell him about it, soon. But..thank you so, so much, [y/n]. This means a lot to us."

"Of course, I'm here for you and him till the very end."

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--One Week Later--

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"Lynn? Are you alright? I was driving by and noticed your door was wide open."

"......"

"Lynn? Jude? You guys here?"

"........"

"....Adam?"

"........"

"Anybody home at all? Hello?"

"........."

"C'mon, this isn't.....wha....o-oh my god. LYNN!! No, no, no, no, no!! What the fuck?!! Why would you...y-you....?! Oh Christ, I'm gonna be sick....I need to call 911-"

"[Y/n]? Where's momma...?"

"A-Adam! Don't go in there. Thank god you're okay, but wha...what are you doing out here by yourself??"

"...looking for my new friend."

"Huh? But..sweetheart, there's no one here but us."

"Not even momma?"

"N-No. She's..gone away for a while. And dad, too. But do you remember that talk we had about me looking after you?"

"Mhm."

"Well, that...starts now. I'll be taking care of you for a little while, okay?"

"Okay."

"Good, good..now let's go home."

--January 2002--

It's been 10 years since the worst night of your life, as well as Adam's.

You lost two of your best friends, and he lost his family.

The sight of Lynn's hanging corpse was forever burned into your mind, and you were still unsure of Jude's whereabouts to this very day. He was never found by the police..although you felt like they were too scared to investigate further and give victims like yourself the proper justice.

Nevertheless, you had a promise to keep. And so you've done your best to raise Adam as his legal guardian. Signing those documents all those years ago certainly streamlined the process of you gaining custody over him, and he didn't protest over it.

You never did tell him what actually happened that night. You don't think you'll ever be able to.

All you said was that you found him alone in that house and took him with you, clueless as to where his parents are. It was only partially a lie, yet you still felt guilty.

You tried giving him a normal life away from Mandela County, as it was simply too dangerous to live there. He grew out of the unusual behavioral patterns of his toddler years, thank goodness, and continued being a generally good kid.

In school, he took up a hobby in filmmaking, while also gaining interest in ghost-hunting shows and other subjects related to paranormal activity, including online forums discussing Alternates.

Although concerned about this interest he's been pursuing, you supported his passions.

After turning 14, he reached that "teen angst" state of his life where he was going through lots of changes and constantly flipping moods like a light switch.

And when you picked him up from school today, that bad attitude reared its ugly head for you to see.

He didn't greet you after getting in the car, keeping his headphones on as he stared outside the window, seething red. You did notice a small group of jocks, one of whom seemed to have a nosebleed while the rest scowled at your son, only to see you were staring at them too. They quickly scampered back onto the campus grounds.

But what you didn't notice was Adam rolling down his sleeves to hide his bruised knuckles.

As soon as you both got home, he threw his backpack onto the nearest table and stormed off to his room without speaking a single word to you.

Now any other parent wouldn't have tolerated his disrespect. But rather than chastise him when you knew he was already feeling shitty, you calmly walked towards his bedroom door.

It was partially open, though you gently knocked just to be polite. "Hey, kid..may I come in?"

"....sure. Whatever."

You pushed the door open more, entering to find Adam curled up on his bed, staring down at his music player as he shuffled through some songs. "Glad to see you're using the MP3 I got you for Christmas."

He didn't respond to that, instead burying his face into his knees and keeping his hood drawn over his head.

You sat beside him, knowing that you'd have to choose your next words very carefully from here on out. 'Wish there was some guidebook on caring for a grumpy teenage boy..but I'll have to figure this one out myself..'

"So..what're you listening to?" You asked, hoping to start up some kind of conversation.

"...if you care so much..it's Radiohead." His voice was slightly muffled, but you understood him as your eyes lit up.

"Oh! I love that band."

"You do?"

"Of course! You think I'm too old to enjoy it?" You feigned hurt, although when you heard him sniffle quietly, you sighed and rested a hand on his back. "Look, I noticed those kids staring when I picked you up. They look like the same jerks I used to meet in school. Did...they say anything to you?"

For a few long moments, he was silent, but eventually answered.

"They called me an orphan, so I punched one of them."

Your heart sunk. "Wha--Adam, you gotta be more careful. You could've gotten hurt or expelled-"

"So what? I'm supposed to just take it?" He glared up at you, his eyes red and watery. "I can't defend myself?"

"...that's not what I'm saying. What I'm saying is that there's other ways we can deal with them without violence. But I agree that what they said was wrong." Frowning, you gently brushed his curly bangs to the side. "They shouldn't be using orphan as an insult."

"Yeah. They think both my parents are dead, but they're liars. My mom's still out there, and if she comes back we can prove them wrong."

Ah.

You could feel this familiar conversation starting up again, but this time you weren't sure if Adam was going to be placated by your answer anymore. The more he pressed about it, the more he got suspicious and tired of the same excuses.

"....are we ever gonna go back to Mandela and try to find her, [y/n]?"

You shook your head. "I'm sorry, Adam. But you know we can't. I...have no clue where we'd even start."

"Then why doesn't she try to find us, instead? She must have escaped those things by now..unless she gave up on me."

"Wha--" You blinked, having no idea how he could've drawn that conclusion so quickly. "What made you think-?"

"I-I mean..it makes sense, right? It's been ten damn years and she hasn't tried looking for us once?" He started getting agitated, taking off his headphones as they no longer comforted him. "Maybe she wanted me out of her life for good. I mean...I'm the reason her and dad divorced."

"Adam, their divorce wasn't your fault at all. I knew your mom for a long time, and she loved you a lot-"

"Then why does it feel like she abandoned me?!!" He snapped, throwing his music devices onto the mattress before scowling at you. "Just tell me the truth, [y/n]!! I can take it. If she said I was a burden, then fucking TELL ME!!"

You took your hand off his back the moment he started shouting, feeling yourself tensing up.

The one thing you hoped not to do was make him angry, and yet here he was...lashing out. But you tried not to take it too personally and stayed quiet.

Not long after his explosion, Adam saw the look on your face and instantly felt remorseful for snapping like that. His face began burning with embarrassment as he looked away, fresh tears welling up in his eyes.

"..I'm sorry, I...I just-"

"I know you didn't mean it. It's alright." You carefully wrapped your arm around him, bringing him closer to you. "But you were never a burden to her. That's the truth. She loved you and wanted you to have a better life..one that she couldn't provide. I know you don't understand everything right now, but one day it's all gonna make sense. I can promise you that, son."

He sniffled and tucked his face between your neck and shoulder, trying to stifle his sobs as he mumbled about still missing her so badly. You held him even closer, feeling the poor kid shaking in your arms.

Luckily, you knew exactly how to remedy this situation.

"Adam?"

"Y..yeah?"

"...do you want me to sing to you like I did before? I know you got your music player, but..my voice might help you feel a little better."

For a moment he was quiet, but you felt him nod against your neck. You smiled and kissed the top of his hood, before quietly singing one of his favorite songs:

"Such a pretty house, and such a pretty garden. No alarms and no surprises. No alarms and no surprises...."

He closed his eyes as he listened to your soft voice, tears dampening the collar of your shirt. He felt like he did nothing to deserve you or all of this love after the way he acted earlier.

You could've left him alone, or got angry right back at him.

But you didn't.

You never stopped being there for him.

After Adam calmed down a few minutes later, you let him go and saw him wipe at his face with his sleeve. While still embarrassed to be seen like this, he did feel a lot better. "Y-You...still got it." He chuckled. "You ever think about becoming a singer? Like in a band or something?"

"In my dreams, yeah. But I told ya I'm a big Radiohead fan." You smirked.

"Alright, alright..I guess you're not too "old" to like it." He rolled his eyes, but eventually leaned back onto your shoulder, relaxing. "Thanks again, [y/n]. I-I..really needed that."

"Anytime." You gently hugged him to you. "I'm here whenever you need me, son. I promise we'll go back to Mandela when it's safer."

"Together?"

"Together."

--September 2008--

You couldn't believe it.

You couldn't.

Fucking.

Believe it.

Adam went behind your back and did exactly what you told him not to do.

He left for to Mandela County in the middle of the night, taking a stolen car. Although he did leave you a note saying he was going on a "BPS mission" with Jonah and promised to be back in several days, you were still quite infuriated.

Especially since you've been meaning to talk to him about this little "group" of his.

All this time, you thought it was just some afterschool club he attended that helped him make friends and even find a girlfriend. He told you all they did was chat about ghosts and research paranormal stuff and nothing more.

But he's been using it as a cover-up to hunt down the Alternates who ruined so many lives, breaking several laws while doing so.

You only learned about all this through Evelin, who called your cell phone just a few minutes ago. The poor girl was in tears, explaining that she and Adam had a huge fight, and apparently he told her some....very hurtful things.

Things you'd never believe would come out of your son's mouth.

You didn't raise him this way at all.

You raised him to be a better person, not a rebel who thinks he can talk to girls with such disrespect and run away from home.

Why would he do this all of the sudden?

Did he just get too impatient?

Did he not trust you anymore?

What ever happened to the promise that you'll go to Mandela together?

Regardless, you apologized to Evelin for Adam's behavior before hanging up. Then you called his number, and he surprisingly answered within the first ring.

Usually it took three.

"Hey, [y/n]. What's up?"

""What's up?"" You mimicked, already growing annoyed. ""What's up" is that your girlfriend called me and said you insulted her. All because she didn't like these little "ghost hunts" you've been doing??"

"Oh fuck, did she really tell you about all our problems?" He groaned. "Look, I'm not the bad guy here. I swear. We had a petty argument and she freaked out on ME, and then I got a little defensive. That's all."

"...a "little"? You made her cry, Adam. I had to help her calm down before she could even talk to me."

"....well it's not my fault if she's too damn sensitive."

You couldn't believe how heartless he sounded, but you didn't wanna stay on this topic forever.

So you sighed, sitting down on the sofa as you wondered how you can convince him to stop these ridiculous "hunts". "Listen, son. I just think this is consuming your life too much-"

"But this IS my life, [y/n]! Jonah and I have been making some serious bank from this! Believe it or not, paranormal investigating IS a real job-"

"But it's not a safe one." You interrupted. "I know how badly you want closure on your mother, but those things won't give you any answers. They're only going to kill you if-"

"I stared at one dead in the face and it didn't attack me."

You froze, feeling your heart drop into your stomach. "...what?"

"Yeah! I found out I'm sorta "immune" to M.A.D or whatever, and I have footage of it!" He bragged. "It didn't hurt me at all. We had a pretty funny staring contest. I can send you proof of it so you don't have to worry about me."

"....I don't want "proof", Adam. I want you to come home."

"....not until I find out the truth for myself." Suddenly his tone turned spiteful. "Unless you know something that I don't."

"What do you mean?"

"I'm not a dumb kid anymore, [y/n]. If there's something YOU knew about that night that you didn't wanna tell me before...now's the time."

For a few long moments, you were silent as you thought over his words, although his snarky response made your blood boil even more.

At this point you were fed up you were with him sneaking behind your back like this and breaking his promise. You only sheltered the truth of that night from him for this long because you knew how deeply it would hurt him.

But now he was practically goading you into laying it all out.

Maybe that's what you should do. Just to finally put this to rest and make him give up on these stupid "investigations". He was searching for someone who wasn't even alive anymore.

He may hate you, but if this is what he wanted...it's what he'll get.

"I'm sorry, Adam. But-"

All of the sudden, a loud sound akin to static noise crackled right into your eardrum, causing you to flinch and hold the phone far away from you.

Only then did you notice an unknown caller ID had popped up, the ringtone playing normally. You declined it and tried calling Adam back, but the same mysterious number showed up again before you could even dial anything.

You had no choice but to answer the stranger.

"Hello? Yes?"

"This is no longer your place to spill secrets, I'm afraid." A male's voice, staticky and coarse, droned in your ear. "Only I will reveal everything to our prophet soon enough."

"....your prophet? Who the hell is this?" Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "I think you got the wrong number. I don't know any "prophet". Goodbye."

Hanging up, you hoped to put an end to that discussion and reach out to Adam once more-

"Of course you do, [y/n]. He's the son you've taken under your wing."

Every muscle in your body tensed.

The same voice was now inside your own home.

Your eyes searched the living room until you noticed the TV flickering to life, the screen displaying a hooded man with a face that looked as if it were melting.

"How do you know about him?" You scowled. "Don't tell me...you're the creep who kidnapped all those kids back in-"

"You played right into our hands. You've passed our test. I must say you've raised him well..keeping him in the dark about his truth." The Intruder taunted. "But it's time you open your eyes and recognize the favor you've done for us."

"...what favor? What does any of this have to do with Adam?!"

"From the moment you saw that boy's poor mother...he ceased to exist, too. I had taken him only for a moment, and gave you back something you promised to protect. But you've been living a lie, [y/n]. Your "son" was never actually him."

"You mean to tell me he's......?" Your heart dropped into your stomach, realizing what he was implying. But you clenched your fists. "N-No. You're lying."

"You had already failed them before you even realized it." The TV glitched to show the shadow of a certain woman with her neck broken, before displaying an image of the Murray house, before it reverted back to the Intruder's face. "You could've joined them, but we wanted to see how he'd grow under your watchful eye. Now thanks to you, we know we can blend into mankind and watch it rot from the inside out. And soon we'll awaken him, too, and rejoice."

"I don't believe you." You tried keeping your voice steady and calm, knowing he was attempting to inflict M.A.D on you. "If you think he's going to be anything like you freaks...you're dead wrong."

"Oh, but he will. He must. It's his fate."

"If he's one of you, then why would he care for the real Adam's mother like she was his?! And on that note...was hanging her just your little "distraction" so you could-?!"

"You accuse me as if I pulled the rope." He scoffed. "But I didn't. She just lost all hope and faith in finding him. That poor mother, too distraught at the sight of her missing infant---distraught at the sight of her missing infant, missing infant, missing infantmissinginfantMISSINGMISSINGMISSINGMISSINGMISSING...."

His voice suddenly began repeating on a loop, corrupted messages and symbols covering the screen. Through it all, you were still able to make out his haunting gaze and widening grin.

The only way he disappeared was when you grabbed a nearby chair and smashed the glass with it, shattering the screen to pieces. Electric sparks and smoke sputtered out of the TV, but besides that...it was finally silent again.

You huffed and took several steps back.

Yet you had little time to fully process everything he told you as your phone rang again. You hesitantly checked it, only to become relieved at seeing's Adam's number and quickly answered it.

"A-Adam! Are you okay?"

"Yeah, um..are you? What happened? You just hung up on me.." He sounded rather concerned.

"I didn't mean to. S-Something must've disconnected our call.." You scrambled to grab your keys, convinced he was in danger.

'Damnit, I swore I was gonna stay away from Mandela, but if he's still there....and HE knows about him-.'

However before you could get your shoes, you stopped and felt a sudden chill run up your spine.

One that left you with the feeling that you weren't alone anymore.

Your gaze slowly went to the front door, where a tall humanoid figure lurked in the nearest corner. It was overtaken by a huge shadow, although the whites of its elongated eyes were still visible, staring back at you.

Adam's concerned "hellos" on the other end fell on deaf ears as you watched the creature limp out from the darkness, revealing itself to be the most horrifying attempt at human mimicry possible.

The worst part?

It looked just like you.

"I'm here whenever you need me, son." It echoed your voice, stalking towards you and forcing you away from the front door, back into the kitchen area. "Something must've disconnected our call-l-l!"

"Who the hell was that? What's going on?!"

Finally hearing your son again, you swallowed back tears as you shakily reached for a large knife, keeping the phone in a tight grip.

This was it for you.

You've just been a pawn in their plans all along.

The Intruder had intentions to kill you with M.A.D by revealing you've basically raised an Alternate for them, and if that despair alone didn't end your life.....then this beast that somehow got inside your home will surely finish the job.

But screw that. Screw all of them.

You'll fight till your last breath if you must.

Your only regret is leaving Adam all alone when he's already lost so much in his life...but you didn't want him to think you resented him.

"I-I have to go. I'm sorry if I sounded harsh back there. I just want you to make the right choices. But if this BPS stuff makes you happy, then..keep doing what you're doing. Just be careful, okay?"

"Uh, sure. But why are you talking like that, [y/n]??" His voice was growing more worrisome. "Look, I'm sorry. I-I swear I'll come back home soon-"

"Don't worry about me...I'll be okay." You smiled shakily, not taking your eyes off the creature closing in. "Just take care of yourself out there. This world's cruel, but I know you'll kick it in the ass."

"Just wait a damn second! Don't g-!"

"Goodbye, my son. I love you."

You ended the call, dropping the phone to the ground and holding the knife with both hands, finally ready to accept your fate.

The Alternate howled with laughter, before it lunged at you with its claws and jaws wide open.

"GOODBYE-E-E!!!!"

"GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!!!!"

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"Uh-oh! Bad decision, [y/n]!"

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--January 16th, 2009--

Adam staggered through the front door to his home, famished, dehydrated, exhausted....

And burdened with knowledge that made him want to die.

Only a few months ago, you disappeared after that concerning phone conversation you two exchanged. He hasn't heard your voice since, and when he returned to Werksha..you were nowhere to be found.

There was no sign of a break-in, or anything of that sort..but Adam was convinced you were taken just like his mom was--obviously by one of the Alternates.

So he went back to Mandela to continue his investigations alongside Jonah, growing desperate for answers. There had to be at least one who knew what happened to you and where you are.

His obsession with these hunts only worsened, turning him into a crueler person around those who questioned his reasons for "chasing" after Alternates. Evelin did break off the relationship for good, seeing as he was too far gone to even reason with.

He knows you would've been disappointed in him...but surely you'd understand why he'd do this. You understood him better than anyone.

You said it yourself. As long as he was careful, he can do whatever he wanted!

Yet nothing ever turned up.

Until the day he and Jonah agreed to help put a cat's spirit to rest, the "owner" offering them $500 a night if they stayed for three in total...

That investigation ended in a huge argument in which Jonah brought up your name and his mother, setting him off and indirectly causing his best friend's death.

And then he was all alone again, but acted like none of it bothered him and tried to quell BPS' online following with a memorial video.

Days later, the Intruder contacted him on his laptop and unveiled the truth about his existence--the same truth he told you before you died.

"Your skin is not your own."

"You're not the real you."

Those words were drilled into Adam's mind, and he could feel his own body going through an agonizing metamorphosis as he forced himself to drive back to Werksha one last time.

He barely was able to drag himself out of the van and through the front door.

But that's when he was greeted by a grisly sight:

Your rotting corpse slumped against the wall, a bloody knife in your palm and a deep slash wound across your throat, your clothes caked in dried blood.

You were never missing.

You died.

And whatever monster brought you back here decided to present you as some twisted "gift" for him.

Adam collapsed and screamed so loudly that it shattered the lights he turned on, deciding right there that he didn't wanna live this way anymore. He couldn't. He didn't wanna become one of them.

He wanted to join you while he still had his humanity left.

Yet despite all his attempts to end his misery, including using the same knife you used to stab himself and consuming enough bleach cleaner he found under the sink to make him vomit his guts out......nothing was working.

His body didn't fail him like he expected.

He still felt his bones breaking in all the wrong ways, and now his insides fucking burned like an inferno.

Eventually, Adam stopped and instead covered your body with his BPS hoodie, sobbing about how sorry he was for not being here for you, before he managed to crawl his way into his room--his one place of comfort.

Having no strength to climb onto the mattress, he just slumped next to his bed, leaning against the nightstand for support. He made the mistake of looking into the cracked mirror beside him...and wailed as he saw the same monster that robbed you of life staring straight back at him:

A gaunt, skinny husk of a boy with pupils of light and a horrifying facial expression that's impossible for humans to mimic.

God, he wishes he spent more time with you...had he known all of this was going to happen..

Did you know he was an Alternate? Is that why you were afraid of him coming back to Mandela?

What would you do if you found him like this?

Would you still hold him?

Would you still sing to him?

Or....

'That's it...I can sing...' He realized, slowly quieting down as he recalled all the times you sang to him whenever he was saddened in the past.

If you were able to calm him down easily, then surely he can calm himself down in a similar way in this situation. It's just his own voice this time around; it couldn't be that much different...right?

It was worth a try.

"...s-such...a...pretty house...and...and such a pretty gardennn...."

He ignored the creaking of the front door being opened, and the footsteps that echoed through the house, slowly approaching his room.

"No..alarms-s-s....and no....a-and no....!"

Suddenly Adam began hyperventilating, eyes filling with tears as he struggled to finish the line, despising the way it sounded.

It wasn't the same.

It wasn't your voice.

It was a voice that wasn't even his own. Just a broken and flawed attempt to mimic the real Adam's--the one who never even got a shot at life before it was stolen away from him.

If this didn't help him..then nothing could..

He wanted you back.

He needed your voice to sing and comfort him, just as you've done all those years ago.

He needed you.

But you're never coming back again.

Up to this point, a certain ex-lieutenant officer with a vendetta against the Alternates entered the bedroom, shining the light around until he found this kid sitting all alone and....

Singing a Radiohead song?

He realized his ears weren't deceiving him, but just as he attempted to confirm his identity-

Adam's jaw unhinged without warning, stretching to impossible proportions as he looked directly into his eyes, screaming and crying out with all the grief left in him:

"GET ME OUT OF HERE!!!"

[4sk4ltstuck]

WELCOME ^_^ !!

Hello !!! My name is Gamz and this is a shrimple ask blog for my homestuck au!! I plan on developing this au into a mspfa in the future, though this ask blog has no connection to the plot in said future mspfa. This is just for fun as I continue to work on it!!

I am both the only one developing this au and running this ask blog, so please be patient with me!! I can be a little busy sometimes, so if I do not respond in a timely manner then that is why.

YES!!

Magical anons [as long as they dont last an absurdly long time]

Questions as a certain character [like if you were to ask tavros a question as like gamzee or smth for example i think thats fun!!!]

References to actual homestuck [sober gamzee, vriskas constant tweaking, beta kids [which might be added in fhe future....], etc]

Questions to me!! As in the creator

NO.

ANYTHING SEXUAL. THEYRE 13-14.

Ship questions [only if its clear youre trying to force it, idm a general question]

Generally freaky shit

INFO ^_^ !!

Altstuck is short for Alternativestuck. And alternative is referring to different alternative clothing and music styles! Each character has a different style, and does slightly differ in personality from their canon counterparts!!

DESIGNS HERE vvv

All of the beta trolls go to the same school, and live a little closer than they actually do in hs. They are also in their first year of highschool!!

Kind of a modern au :o? the exact time is never stated but nepeta is based off of 2020 alt so take that as you will!!

The only character that I have completely left out of this au is Cronus, as I personally felt uncomfortable with adding him, and Eridan having only child syndrome just felt right.

Speaking of which, the alpha trolls are depicted as the beta trolls' older siblings

SPECIFIC CHARACTER INFO [UNDER THE CUT] vvv

[some do not have as much info as others for the time being as this au is still fairly new!!]

Aradia — Bigender , she / he , pansexual.

She's still dead [along w Terezi being blind, Tavros being in a wheelchair, blah blah blah]

People are aware of her being dead this time, though. Most of the trolls invested in ouija boards to communicate with her [she can still use computers, but she typically chooses not to]

Tavros — male , he / they , bisexual.

Still in the wheelchair

Actually a poser, says he listens to certain music while not ACTUALLY listening to it.

^ he actually listens to things like eminem and weezer though [which btw both are valid troll names?]

His style was mostly influenced by Rufioh, along with his friends shifting styles throughout the months. He finds them cool and wants to make himself look cool to boost his confidence, though its unclear if its working

Moving in with Equius [because of Rufioh and Horuss, they are canon in this, spesifically pre-problems]

Sollux — transmasc , he / they , bisexual.

Doesn't change a whole lot, though he's grown more reserved

Is very aware of how his friends are beginning to change [typically for the worst], and is attempting to steer clear of them

Going through a general down, as he feels intense guilt over the death of Aradia

Karkat — male , he / xe , bisexual.

Dresses "emo," but refuses to acknowledge that he is emo and will get offended if anyone refers to him as such

A bit more stand-offish than normal / more defensive

Closer to Eridan, helps with his relationship problems / writing his love songs

Nepeta — agender , it / she / xe , bisexual.

Uses more internet terminology than usual, and is generally a bit more chronically online

Encouraging Equius to be more bold with his methods of self expression

Kandi maker / good with hair dye

Kanaya — female , she / it , lesbian.

A bit more moody, though its typically just for show to keep up her gothic persona

Made most of the others new clothes, including her own

Terezi — agender , any , pansexual.

Her outfits are usually crazy as fuck, since she wears whatever "tastes the best"

Will write red ink all over its arms and then lick it off, which has left countless ink smears on its skin

Very strange and odd, more than usual. It'd rather be viewed as some sort of creature [like a cryptid] rather than a troll

Vriska — trans girl , she / her , lesbian.

Unlike Eridan, she has already begun socially transitioning, though she feels that she does not belong with the other girls most of the time because she is trans

Also more chronically online, and is active on tumblr [or grublr because i think thats better than bubblr or wtv], but spesifically on the side thats really fucking mean

BIG fan of riot grrrl

Equius — male , he / xe [? questioning] , bisexual

Incredibly awkward, even more than usual as he is adjusting to letting himself be more comfortable in "having fun" as Nepeta puts it

VERY self conscious, both because of his new attire [in fear of judgement] and because hes a zahhak which are all known to be FREAKS /lh

Gamzee — nonbinary , he / it , pansexual.

Actual juggalo hushh hushhhh this is an au

Still consumes sopor, though said sopor worked as a sort of gateway drug for Gamzee and lead him to discovering wtv the alternative equivalent for weed is [strange green foliage ???]

Despite living with Kurloz, Gamzee still rarely sees him and is typically on his own in the hive [since Kurloz is usually with meulin. Yes this is pre-incident]

Has slight beef with Tavros' music taste [w the whole eminem thing bcoz of the icp and eminem beef.......]

Eridan — "male" [questioning / closeted genderfluid] , any [only to karkat] he / him [everyone else] , bisexual.

Very unsure of himself, in the midst of an identity crisis

Somewhat aware of what she wants to be, though is reluctant to let the rest of her friends know about how she feels, both in fear of judgement and how her opinions and views could change the others just because she had them [shout out pesterquest]

Big into midwestern emo, writes her own shitty love songs and dreams of one day starting a band with the rest of her pals [but at the same time she would fucking hate to work with half of her friends in this way]

Feferi — female , she / her , pansexual.

Very excitable, though she dreads being queen more and more with each passing sweep. This isn't because she does not want to be queen, rather she is afraid that she will never be truly ready to handle that kind of responsibility

Tends to stress herself out alot, though she never brings it up to others in fear of bringing everyone's moods down with her venting

Feels like she is undeserving of all the privileges she was given in her life just for being a high blood

XTRA ^_^ !!

First im actually surprised if you read this far

And second, this is my first ask blog ever, so I am still figuring certain things out!! So for the time being, there will be no set-in-stone plot for this ask blog, but this will most likely change in the future as i fully figure things out ╰⁠(⁠＾⁠3⁠＾⁠)⁠╯

Feel free to ask questions, and you shall receive an answer from yours truly Xo3 !!! BAIII (⁠*⁠＾⁠3⁠＾⁠)⁠/⁠～⁠♡

[crazylittlejester]

I'm glad that you enjoy daily brainrot as much as I do. :) I look forward to 7:00 pm every day because that's when I start typing things up in your askbox. I even have a designated section of my notes app to make sure I don't forget things before brainrot time rolls around.

Also, the fic that I wrote about Warriors having low blood pressure/low blood sugar has bitten me in the butt because now I'm under official orders to solve the exact same problem with almost exactly the same solution that was proposed in the fic. The Ao3 author's curse has finally gotten to me.

I'm fine, it's just very funny to me that literally a month ago I poked around and made up a fantasy Gatorade recipe that I forced upon the poor guy. To be honest, I wouldn't trust Wild and Sky's first attempt, either. Anyway, since I don't trust my own fantasy Gatorade recipe (look, orange juice and salty water can't taste very good) I'm going to try and get something from the store or at least some flavoring from the store.

Getting on to proper brainrot territory, I've been thinking about the suggestion you gave me about writing Time (that he's just the older version of Mask) and I think I'll be able to swing it if I can just get my paragraphs in order. I have some nice snippets here and there that I've written out, it just needs to be organized and properly lined up.

Related to that, I have been considering the development of STEM in the different eras (the arts can wait for another day). Slightly off-topic, the main reason why there's so much Warriors & Sky & Wild in my Emotional Support Loftwing fics is because I feel that they'd have the most medical knowledge because they're knights. Warriors was a soldier in charge of 2 kids, knights in Skyloft were about as close to first responders as you could get, and Wild was the personal knight/bodyguard to Princess Zelda right around the apocalypse.

The others also have fairly good reasons to know stuff, but I feel like the overlap of knight training and the information available in their eras is significant enough to make a difference. This is a whole thing to me, and I will die on this hill willingly.

But back to the point. I think that Warriors' era was probably the closest to the Renaissance, Age of Enlightenment, or whatever it's called. That period in time when people were learning stuff left and right. The scientific method has been thoroughly established, people are starting to consider technology more, medical knowledge is being expanded to better society, and the war is making all of this happen at an accelerated pace because that's what happens during war. It's a documented phenomenon.

Skyloft, on the other hand, is much smaller and more isolated. They're very self-contained, so I feel like their knowledge is more likely long-term accumulation of information. There are fewer people to study subjects and peer-review things, so I think they've got more advancements in subjects like math and certain types of engineering and architecture. Medicine probably sticks closer to treating injuries from accidents and management of acute and chronic diseases.

Of course, Wild's era is really weird so it's kind of hard to say what all they have exactly, but I feel like most of their STEM stuff leans into technology, engineering, and the natural sciences (biology, geology, etc.) based on what I know of Purah and Flora. I think most medical knowledge or other hyper-specific information would have been salvaged based on the whole apocalypse thing with the Calamity. I also don't know exactly how the Shrine of Resurrection works, but I don't think he'd have forgotten how to do things like math, he just lost his memories. So he'd still have any first aid knowledge he got during his training. And I've seen some cool ideas in fics about the Shrine of Resurrection and the Slate using data for the magic-y stuff, and if that's the case, then maybe the weird blue Shrine juice was just liquid information. Maybe Wild knows a little bit too much about certain topics that Flora is 99% sure weren't part of his training program. (I also think Wild's era has the most information on seizures, but that's because of ✨the vibes✨ and not a specific detail.)

I look forward to 7:00 pm every day because that's when I start typing things up in your askbox <- ALDKDWKKFL I start frantically checking my askbox around 8 😭

The Ao3 author's curse has finally gotten to me <- NOOOOO im so sorry 😔

I have some nice snippets here and there that I've written out, it just needs to be organized and properly lined up <- oooooooh thats good!!

I feel that they'd have the most medical knowledge because they're knights <- YESSSSSSSSSSSS YES YES YES

Warriors' era was probably the closest to the Renaissance, Age of Enlightenment, or whatever it's called <- IM SO WITH YOU ON THIS

They're very self-contained, so I feel like their knowledge is more likely long-term accumulation of information <- I SO AGREE

I feel like most of their STEM stuff leans into technology, engineering, and the natural sciences (biology, geology, etc.) <- yes yes yes yes i love how you broke all this down and the different areas of knowledge you’re so right i agree with you 100%

THANK YOU FOR THE BRAINROT :3

[fuzzkaizer]

scientificguitarist - Don't Tell Ray - PT2399-Based Oil Can Delay

DIY oilcan delay kit

"When it comes to delay, we are all aware of the tape, analog, digital, and even magnetic drum style delays like the Echorec. However, there is one design that has been almost lost to time, and that is the oil can delay. Invented by the founder of Tel-Ray, the oil can delay operates by using a spinning magnetic disk with carbonized rubber read and write heads. The disk spins in a can of special oil that helps to keep the rubber heads lubricated and to help prevent the leakage of the magnetically stored data.

In the guitar pedal world, there has been a small resurgence of interest in the oil can delay due to its unique, murky sound. Old Blood Noise Endeavors and Catalinbread both have digital emulations of them, but as far as I could tell, no DIY designs existed. I decided to see what I could do with the ubiquitous PT2399. Over the course of a few months, I spent hours reading and watching everything I could find on them, detailing things like delay time ranges, RPM, methods of degradation, etc. so that I could take them into account as best I could. While I don't claim this circuit to be an exact emulation, it does a great job of getting some of that super old school vibe in a DIY-able circuit. And because it's supposed to mimic a Tel-Ray, I have decided to call it Don't Tell Ray."

cred: scientificguitarist.wixsite.com

[thesunw1tch]

Moving-In Ritual

Goldie's Guide To Witchcraft: A Tumblr Grimoire for the Masses

Hello All! It's me, The Sun Witch! I figured that since my Moving-Out Ritual post did so well, I might as well post a template for what to do once you actually move! I'm actually moving into my next apartment in about a month, so I'm in the same boat with y'all.

I believe that you can implement your path as loosely or as strongly as you like in the following phases. I didn't quite recommend it last time since the goal was to create a blank slate, but this time? You kinda go wild, it's your new space, let it get to know you!

For example, in my new place? I'm an eclectic but primarily a Sun Witch, so I will line up the following steps with specific times of day if I can. My exact move-in and move-out time has not been expressed yet by my building, so we'll see if I can make my plan work. Anyhow, you could do the same, but I encourage you to get creative with it!!!

Phase 1: Physical Cleaning

I bet that once you get to your new place, you're going to need to do a few things before you start unpacking boxes. Start by...

Check for cobwebs, overly shadowy undercarriages, rust, mold, lime or calcium build-up, etc. Not only are these things just a plain eye sore, but they can cause you to feel negatively towards your new home, which in turn could welcome negative energies.

Do your best to fix these issues if they will obstruct your ability to be comfortable or will make the moving-in process strenuous.

Organize your boxes of belongings! This may be common sense, but please place boxes for specific rooms in those respective places. It'll just make it easier in the long run.

This is just a personal touch, but I like to keep the doorways and windows open whenever I clean to air out any lingering dust or chemical smells from a previous tenant or what have you. This can also help with the next step...

Phase 2: Spiritual Cleaning

Hopefully, you've listened to step one and haven't jumped straight here. Hopefully, all immediate physical abnormalities have been fixed, or at least accounted for. Additionally, you'll want to unpack before continuing on to make things a little easier. This may take a while, but there's no pressure to rush through it - take your time and organize your new space, let it get to know you, and find ways to best serve you. I've found that when you treat a place nicely, cleanly, and with purpose, it'll do the same to you!

Our next phase is dedicated to spiritually cleanse the space. There is an abundance of banishing, warding, protecting, cleansing, etc materials out there for y'all, so I won't include many specifics in this next portion.

Cleanse! Personally, I can't use smoke in my complex, and since I know this is the same for many others, I suggest using other elements! For instance, I'll probably use salt water or a method of wind cleansing to clean the slate! I can make a post on wind magick in the future if someone wants

Protect! In my own practice, I like to use sigils and the element of fire when possible. Now, I know I said we aren't going to use smoke, so instead I like to incorporate solar energies or visuals into the space. Ward and Banish however you feel comfortable as well :)

Flourishing! This is the fun part!!! Personally, I use air freshners for practicalities sake but you can use anything you'd like. Ask yourself what vibes you want to attract into your space - love? Sleep? Happiness? Choose a fragrance or make your own Flourishing spray and get to it! You can even take it a step further and use bundles of real dried herbs and flowers to really Amp it up!

Phase 3: Personalize

Everyone's practice is going to look different, as I have stressed throughout my posts on this blog, but what I'm going to add here is that it is crucial you personalize your space in a witchy way as well. Whether this means following traditional rituals or house warming customs of your practice or familial culture, or even just making a new ritual in your space is up to you!

I am a firm believer in the idea that your space isn't yours unless it feels like yours. Make sure your energy is flowing throughout your new home, that you're attracting that same sort of energy - you can do this anyway you please! If anyone wants specific examples or what I do, just let me know and link a post here :)

a n d that's pretty much it! I tried to condense the information here rather than in my previous moving post, so I hope you find this helpful :)

[thescrumblingmidwife]

So what are the ways to stop a period (and fertility) as an adult? I need to figure out my plans for when that time comes. I mean permanently, btw.

Hi Anon,

I'm getting a lot of asks like this. Here's another one:

Anonymous asked: whats the safest way to stop getting a period as quickly as possible? i was told by my gynecologist that id be given birth control that'd stop them but i keep getting them and it's been months

So let's do a menstrual suppression post.

MENSTRUAL SUPPRESSION (AKA, Secondary amenorrhea)

What can be done depends a lot on your age, where you are, what kind of healthcare access you have, as well as your reason for seeking menstrual suppression.

If you experience medical complications like endometriosis, serious menstrual pain (dysmenorrhea) or heavy menstrual bleeding that causes anemia, etc., you may find you have an easier time accessing treatments beyond BC than if you just "don't want a period." (FWIW - I think that's a completely valid reason for menstrual suppression!). Trans and GNC people will fall somewhere in the middle - depending on where you are, it may be considered a legitimate medical indication all on its own, and in other areas may result in a roadblock and discrimination.

Disclaimer - my scope as a midwife will be limited to the use of hormonal birth control until I complete separate training on offering gender-affirming care. So please take what I say here only as a rough guide to your own research. If I've missed anything or get anything wrong, please let me know!

PREPUBERTAL (have not yet gotten a period)

Leuprolide (lupron) is an antiandrogen medication that basically stops sex hormones from working. When used in prepubertal/early puberty kids, it's called a "puberty blocker." It's meant to be a temporary solution until the kid can be sure what they want to do next, as its effects are completely reversible. Pediatricians will usually refer you to an endocrinologist or a gender clinic rather than provide themselves.

Otherwise, I'm afraid that you must first go through the initial period of menarche until normal periods are established before you can then go on menstrual suppression.

ADOLESCENT (teen, not yet an adult)

Progestin-only birth control is the first-line treatment. The good news is that pretty much everyone can take it, and it's relatively easy to get. This works by keeping the uterine lining thin, and keeping a level of progestin high enough that you don't experience the withdrawal that triggers menses. Methods include: IUD (intrauterine device), Nexplanon (implant), Depo shot, and pills. In all methods, it takes several months to work, and spotting/breakthrough bleeding is a possibility.

---->If you take the pills, you have to take them at the exact same time every day, so the hormone levels stay even, or you risk breakthrough bleeding. Different brands have different progestins in them, so if one doesn't work for you after several months of taking it properly, you could ask your provider about switching to a different pill.

---->The IUD has the best record with total menstrual suppression after a few months, but it is the most invasive of the LARC methods to insert.

----> Nexplanon can take some time to achieve menstrual suppression, and some people still get breakthrough bleeding, but it is also the single most efficacious BC besides hysterectomy. Yes, even more than tubal ligation.

----> Depo shot is pretty good at achieving amenorrhea, but has more side effects (low libido, dry vagina, risk of bone loss) that can take a while to resolve after you come off it

Testosterone - If you are trans and go on T, it may stop your menstrual cycles/ovulation, but it is not a guarantee. People on T are counseled to also be on BC, because it is does not eliminate the possibility of pregnancy and is teratogenic (can cause birth defects). You should not go on T purely to stop menses, as it has other permanent effects - go on T for those effects and be pleased if it happens to stop your period.

ADULT (18/21+ up)

All of the above methods, plus:

Estrogen-containing birth control may offer more suppression but also increases certain health risks (like clots), and it has a number of contraindications (reasons why someone can't use it safely). Generally don't advise teens to use it.

Tubal ligation for FERTILITY CONTROL ONLY. This will not stop periods!

For transmen: Hysterectomy (uterus removed) and/or salpingectomy/oophorectomy (tubes/ovaries removed). This is a component of gender-affirming care - but you will likely need to find a specialized provider for it. The average gynecologist is not going to do an elective (no medical indication) hysterectomy ----> https://transcare.ucsf.edu/guidelines/hysterectomy

I have seen some evidence that Lupron can be used for menstrual suppression as well, but I haven't heard much about it being used outside of certain medical indications (like if someone has cancer).

GENDER-AFFIRMING CARE

If you identify as trans or gender non-conforming and there is a gender clinic in your area, I recommend trying to get in with them, as they deal with this sort of question regularly. They have interdisciplinary teams (mental health providers, gynecologists, endocrinologists, surgeons, etc) that can meet all your needs. Someone trained in gender-affirming care will be best equipped to help you.

Here is a list of gender clinics in the USA:

Ok, all you Anons out there - I hope this is a good jumping-off point for you to find what you need. The TLDR is please try to find a provider who is willing to work with you and help you find what's available to you in your area!

[mueritos]

Hello! Sorry to ask this but u have been so helpful with trans health. I’m planning on going on t but I do not want to do shots or gel cuz my adhd brain makes me forget etc. I heard storm Ryan talk about how he does pellets but idk how to look for that? Like the only type that show up look to be for cis men? Idk if I should still try to go to the places that offer the pellets. The pellets last 3-4 months as steady flow of t. But at the same time I feel like a scam trans guy if I go this route cuz normally other trans masc go shots or gel? Idk please help!!!!

hiya!! you are not a scam trans guy for going on the pellet haha. I actually considered them because im sick of injecting into my ass every other week, but then I saw the insertion demo for the pellets and got scared. though, i did have the exact same insertion process on my arm for my birth control implant, and that was not painful, so it's probably not that bad. the pellet is actually very convenient and because it's such a steady dose, you may not experience the same ups and downs in between dosages! i would say go for it. theres no shame in doing a method that is different than others, what matters is if it's the right choice for you! you may have to start looking for endocrinologists or gender therapists near you to start prescribing the T, but you can go to planned parent or some LGBTQ/Women's health clinics, and they may provide HRT services as well. You can always start by talking to your doctor tho! There's where I started, and I was referred to my current gender therapist ^-^ best of luck!