#(the constant battle of i-hate-disassociating-its-scary-and-bad and oh-i-just-want-to-be-not-present-rn
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if u need me ill be here
#jackal tag#slowly transitioning from too stressed to function to depressive episode#good news today my dad was alright#yesterday was godawful but today :muscle: he can eat and drink without it going straight thru him#so hes getting stronger and needs less constant help and supervision#which means i get time to......... exist idk what ive been doing but man am i exhausted and in so#much. pain. oooohhh my back. been sitting places besides my chair and having no where to put me back#its just so quickly so painful i cant sit up#arguably all my days starting in the morning is good and what i want bc i like being Done when im done#but waking up and immediately being busy (plus EMOTIONALLY DISTRESED which is the worst part)#ooohh boy. oh boy.#the good news is i havent disassociated much which is usually how my body wants to handle stress#so thats a W i guess#(the constant battle of i-hate-disassociating-its-scary-and-bad and oh-i-just-want-to-be-not-present-rn
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