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bearprofessorr · 1 day ago

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a second chance.

sometimes getting stood up is the only way to find what you really needed.

ship: declan o'hara/fem!reader. tags/warnings: drinking, making out, no y/n. word count: 3.8k.

(crossposted on ao3)

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The night was young, and you had plans. A date. One of the boys that helped out with the Cotswolds Round-up plucked up the courage to ask you out after a few weeks of idle chatter in the breakroom. You dressed up for the occasion - even if it was only for a drink at the one proper pub in the area. It wasn't often you would be asked out; normally you would be making the first move, hoping that it was reciprocated. Not tonight.

You arrived slightly before you planned to meet him, wanting a drink to steady your nerves as the clock got closer to 8. you finished your first drink - a simple vodka coke - and looked back at the clock, now reading 8:15. Panic rose in your throat, but you kept it down by ordering another drink. Thankfully, there was a TV behind the bar that you could watch to pass the time, distract yourself and try and convince the other patrons of the pub that you were really enthused by... golf.

The night continued to pass, and the golf blurred as you stared at the screen instead of watching it. The clock hit 8:45 and you had to swallow the pain of being stood up. You looked around the pub, seeing if anyone was looking at you - no one spared you a glance. There were faces you recognised, some from Corinium's other departments, but none that you spoke to at all; Until you looked down the bar, in a dim corner, noticing Corinium's prized jewel; Declan O' Hara, slowly nursing a glass of whiskey with his eyes just as glazed over as yours were, staring at the TV. Rumours had been circulating around the offices of Declan's wife being scouted for work in London after prized director Malhar Verma was spotted at the O'Hara's New Year's party. Although you knew nothing of Maud personally, she had been in some of your favourite films as a kid, and you were sure her return to the acting world would be well-received. However, from the looks of things, Declan wasn't taking the rumours too well, and from where you were sitting, it was unclear to you whether Declan was even sporting his wedding band. It wasn't as if you could go over and strike up a conversation, though. You had spoken to Declan in passing, mostly because your team helped Cameron with research and analytics - taking the analysis of audience retention and opinions off of her plate so she can do what she's best at.

Whether he noticed you looking at him was another uncertainty - but you noticed his head move out of the corner of your eye, and you decided to act very interested in the golf again. When he stood up, you took no real notice, until he walked up next to you, got the bartender's attention and ordered another glass of whiskey.

"Did Tony send you?" He leant his forearms on the bar, looking you over for anything he deemed suspicious behaviour, "'Cause if he did, tell him to fuck off, will you?"

"What?" You asked, more confused than defensive.

"You work at Corinium, do you not?" Declan mirrored your expression, eyebrows furrowed as he waited for you to respond.

"Yeah, but I'm no spy - promise." You put your hands up in defence, giving Declan a weak smile and a shrug to try and calm his nerves. The bartender came over with Declan's drink before he could speak, so he quickly thanked him and took a long sip before continuing.

"So you just come to the pub - all dolled up and alone, for fun?"

"I wasn't supposed to be. I got stood up."

"Oh. Sorry..." He awkwardly patted your shoulder, in some kind of apology - or sympathy.

"Don't be. It was my mistake to assume he was being genuine."

"Men are cunts, take it from me - don't waste your time on them." His mind immediately darted to Rupert Campbell-Black, and his attempts to court his daughter. A small part of him looked at you, noticing you and Taggie appeared similar in age and he chastised himself for the thought. He went to say your name, but realised very visibly that he couldn't recall it, even though he recognised you. You noticed this and held out your hand, introducing yourself like you were taught to.

"I work with Cameron on research." You smiled, appreciating his gentle grip as Declan took you hand in his to shake it, placing his other hand on top to solidify the gesture. "We've actually been in the same meetings for the last month."

"Ah, that explains why I've seen you around - wait, are you-"

"Brainiac, yeah. Tony called me that once - probably not in the nicest way - and it just... stuck." You rolled your eyes at the memory, sighing, detaching your hands to run your fingers through your hair, "But I would prefer for that to stay at work. Obviously."

"Obviously," He parroted, "Of course." He noticed he hadn't reciprocated the greeting, and hated the fact he assumed people knew who he was, "I'm Declan."

"I know that." Declan winced ever so slightly at your response. You smiled without thinking, for the first time that night, "You're the golden goose of the network; and working with Cameron, I do research for your show. I think if I didn't know who you were through all that I'd be kicked to the street."

"Right." Declan chuckled, looking defeated as the conversation fell into a lull. "If you don't mind me asking," He presented the question, his journalistic instincts kicking in, "Who was it you were supposed to be meeting here?"

"Sebastian." The name rang a bell, with Declan recognising him for around the offices, mostly tailing Cameron wherever she went. Before he could make a comment, you spoke back up, "He... well- he said we would meet here and go for dinner, but that clearly isn't happening. I'd rather not dwell on it, if that's alright." You gave a flat smile, taking a long breath to stop the anxieties from crawling back into your mind. "I should have been realistic, he's... he's him, and I'm-"

"Don't sell yourself short. You're a beautiful woman, and it's a pity for him he hadn't recognised that." Declan cut you off, a stern look on his face. He took a moment to truly look at you then, in a way he hadn't dedicated the time to before - what self-respecting married man would spend his time gazing at the women he worked with?

As much as you would have wanted to believe him, wrap yourself in his kind words, you simply couldn't. What did it matter if you were beautiful if no one was around to treat you as if you were? Actions and words meant very different things - both needed to be true if you wanted to believe it. This came across clearly on your face as you turned away to stare into your glass, both hands interlocked around it on the bar.

"Thank you, but that doesn't change anything." You sighed, draining the last of your drink into your mouth, pulling your bag onto your shoulder, "I'm sure you didn't come here to comfort my bruised ego - I'll get out of your way so you can actually enjoy your night."

"And what enjoyment do you think I came here for?"

"I don't know," You shrugged, scanning the room before looking back at the TV, "Maybe you just wanted to watch the golf."

He laughed at that, raising his eyebrows in disbelief, leaning his back against the bar as you stepped away from it, "Really?"

"Look, what else am I supposed to say?" You looked down at his hand around his whiskey glass, noticing he was still wearing his ring, but the words came out of your mouth before you could hold them back, "That you've come here to drown out your troubles? I'm not like you, Declan, I don't pry."

He noticed your eyes dip from his, and a part of him wanted to hear you say his name again, in that perfect accent of yours. It was that same part of him that he kept locked away for fear of turning into the men he criticised. The small glint in his eye at that quickly disappeared, not without you noticing. "Maybe you should. You'd learn a lot about a person that way."

"You look like you're dying to tell me why you're actually here," You stood your ground, relaxing your posture, "so, go ahead."

"I wouldn't say dying to, but if you insist-" Declan teased, shrugging while he gestured with his glass for you to sit back down, but when you didn't, he nodded to acknowledge your lack of action and continued, "I came here to avoid Taggie sitting me down and trying to stop me from falling into 'old habits'." He exaggerated with the curl of his fingers.

"Old habits like the one in your hand?"

"Bingo."

"Maybe you should listen to your daughter, Declan."

"Maybe you should mind your own business, darling." He mocked, enjoying the anger that immediately rose to your face, only to be concealed - except the lingering red around your ears.

"You're the one who-" You scoffed, noticing the smile playing on Declan's face and taking an audible breath, turning on your heel, "Forget it. Enjoy your habits, just try not to leave when the bar closes - makes you look like you have a problem."

"It's only a problem if I leave alone." Declan called out to you, and he watched as you stopped mid-step and placed your foot down delicately.

You paused, still facing the door, hands tensing as you considered your options. There were two ways this could go, if you stayed - and misread his signals, you go home disappointed. If you're right about the undertone of his words, and you stay, you can forget Sebastian and enjoy some good company - maybe more. Already having been disappointed by one man tonight, the only way that has the potential to change is if you stay.

"Is that so?" You turned, your head tilting to emphasise the playful nature of your question. "In my mind that would just be two people fuelling each other's addictions, but if you'd prefer I stay to make sure you get home in one piece-"

"I can take care of myself, you wouldn't need to carry me home." He paused, "If anything, the opposite's more likely."

"I think you underestimate how many people I've drunk under the table who've thought they can hold a light to my drinking prowess." You were bluffing - you'd only competed against one person, who was already pissed and was half-way to the bathroom after the first drink.

"And you're the one saying I've got a habit? Looks like you've been practicing yourself."

"Only on weekends." You joked, and by the look on his face, it was clear Declan understood you were playing up your tolerance, and made space for you at the bar as you stepped closer.

"Right." He chuckled, "It's not for sport, then?"

"You could say it's more a hobby." You smiled, taking your seat facing Declan, while leaning an arm on the bar. "There's not much else to do out here."

"It's fair to indulge every so often." He gestured with his glass to the bartender for another round, taking the last sips from it, "Less destructive than hunting."

You rolled your eyes, the reminders of your summer job at a range leaving a sour taste in your mouth that was quickly replaced with a drink. "It's a hobby for assholes with delusions of grandeur, as far as my interactions with them have gone."

"So, the whole of Cotchester?" Declan raised an eyebrow, eyes following yours.

"Unfortunately so."

"I'm certain you've heard everything there is to know, then?"

"Not that isn't already common knowledge."

"You'd be surprised - like how we all 'know' about Cameron and Tony-" The commonplace gossip slipped from Declan's mouth before he could think, but since it was only to another Corinium member, he realised it was safe to speculate. When you cut him off to fill the rest of his sentence, he breathed out a small sigh of relief.

"But his wife's none the wiser, yes I'm aware. I don't have the protections you do to go around telling everyone's business to any ears that'll listen." You shook your head, relaxing it to rest on your hand, propped up on the bar.

"Now, what's that supposed to mean?"

"You're Declan O' Hara. Your whole schtick is digging up people's pasts, making a living off of the skeletons in their closets." You accused with a flourish, taking a long sip from your glass.

"Not always."

"But you have, right? Like with Rupert - you didn't say what it was but I know for a fact you had something catastrophic." There was a sparkle in your eye at that, the thrill of the chase, Declan knew that tone - he used it himself when he knew he had someone pinned. Backed into a corner, ready to strike. "You reached for something. I saw. Twice during that interview when you were readying yourself for the question, you reached," You reached across, poking the side of his chest. "Right there, for your blazer pocket."

"I was bluffing - to throw him off, and it worked like a charm." Declan brushed your hand away, lightly closing his hand over yours. Your heart fluttered at the contact, "Now, if I did have something on Rupert, as soon as I made the choice not to say it on air, that information never really existed."

"Because of your daughter?"

The question caused him to pause, the words hanging in the air.

"What?" He tried to regain his balance, his gut tossing itself to the side. Thankfully, you didn't notice, and kept talking to fill the silence.

"I overheard people talking about her bursting into the building to track him down during the break - did she know?" You interrupted yourself, "Was that what you were going to expose him for?"

Declan shook his head, trying his best to mask the disdain he felt for Rupert's advances on Taggie, "No, there wasn't anything to expose. Rupert's life has been incredibly public, everything I said was already out there, public knowledge."

"Tony and Cameron public or actually public?"

"Front page of 'The Times' public."

"Hmm." You didn't look fully convinced, but dropped the subject simply because of the look Declan was giving you - stern, final. "You two seem... friendly."

"We are." Declan agreed, adding with a knowing smile, "He's better than people assume he is - once he comes back down to earth."

You chuckled at that, knowing the stories that filtered through the area of his specific brand of ego. The alcohol had fully seeped into your bloodstream now, if the dull pulse of your heartbeat in the back of your head was anything to go by. The lights seemed to shine a little brighter, haloing Declan in a warm glow. You didn't say anything, didn't feel the need to. You simply stared, observing how in the silence, Declan turned to face ahead of him, leaving you with the side profile of his face. He was tired, that much was evident - the light beginnings of unshaved stubble rising on his cheeks, a similar shade to the bags under his eyes, half-hooded eyes that threatened to close without forceful blinks every so often. It was only once you hand made contact with the side of his face that you realised it had moved to brush against his cheek, a slow, soft movement with the backs of your fingers. Declan moved his eyes before his head, an equally soft look and light glisten of water in them as they noticed the touch.

Your eyes widened, your hand froze, you took in a short breath and held it tight in your chest. As soon as your hand twitched to move back, his rushed to hold it, trying to form the sentences in his mind to express what had made his heart stutter. All that came out of his mouth, like a plea, was the simple question;

"Can I kiss you?"

You barely had time to process your head nodding, your instincts answering for you, before his lips met with yours for the first time. The first thing you noticed was how he tasted, of whiskey and cigarettes, combining with the scents of cedarwood - it was addicting to say the least. He pulled back, Declan's hand lingering on your cheek. Your eyes looked into his to try and find any hint of hesitation, of regret, and found none.

It was the light jeering of a table off in the corner that took you both out of the moment, made you duck to hide your blushing face from the other patrons of the bar.

"Don't listen to them," Declan used the hand on your cheek to guide your face to look back at him, "They're only playing around."

"It's hard not to, not when I can feel them looking at me-" You cut yourself off, draining the rest of your glass. It was almost abrupt, the way you stood, grabbing your bag. Declan put a hand on your arm, trying to slow you down, and you answered his question with your own before he was able to ask it, "Are you coming or not?"

It took a moment for his mind to catch up, but as soon as he met your eyeline again, saw the light reflect in them, he nodded and slid his hand down your arm to lace your fingers together - the bar had his card on file, they would charge what they wanted. Frankly, he couldn't give a shit about how much he had spent, all he wanted was to follow you wherever you decided to go. That was good enough for you, and the pair of you left the bar to light cheers from the same table as before. As soon as you were outside, as soon as Declan knew there were no more eyes on you but his, he pulled you closer, feeling the goosebumps from the chilled air on your skin.

Declan's eyes were focused on your lips, physically restraining himself from devouring you there. You took the initiative in a rare moment of confidence, hovering over his lips before pressing them together, breaking apart for a moment only to return open-mouthed, deepening the kiss; His hands rushed to pull you closer, tangling into your hair and around your waist, fabric bunching under his grip. You pulled away, the chill of the night forcing you out of the moment. Declan chased your lips with his, instead electing to brush their noses together before pressing his forehead to yours. "What's wrong, darling?"

You smiled at that, had to stop yourself from breaking down into a puddle of laughter at how soft the situation had turned, "I- We might freeze to death out here if every ten paces you stop and-" You dodged his lips again, turning your head so they pressed against your cheek, still giggling all the while "-God, if you don't let us actually get to where we're going, I'll never forgive you."

It was almost childlike, how Declan pleaded with you, how his round brown eyes tracked yours, "I'll keep you warm, sweetheart, I swear."

"Declan-"

"No-" He interrupted, running his hands down your arms, interlocking your fingers once he reached your hands.

"As much as I would love to take your word for it, I can't feel my hands right now."

"They're fucking freezing." Declan commented, pressing both of your hands together so he could cup his around them in some attempt to warm them up.

And at that moment, the bright lights from the unfortunate turn of a car into the driveway of the pub caught you both off guard, and something in your gut felt the need to make significant distance between you and Declan. Luckily so, since as the car pulled up, Declan recognised it and winced, knowing what was going to happen already. Not Taggie, but Rupert stepped out of the family's car first, with his daughter in the passenger's seat.

"Fuck."

"Declan! Man of the hour, thought I'd find you rotting away here!" Rupert cheerily leant on the bonnet of the car, a shit-eating grin on his face as he crossed his arms. "Look, I'm not one to judge what a man does with his time but-"

"Fuck off Rupert." Declan rolled his eyes, pulling his blazer across himself. You were glad you hadn't been noticed, and tried to just start walking home when Rupert lifted himself off the car and walked with a brisk pace to step in front of you.

"Not so fast, sweetheart." He placed a gentle hand on your shoulder, not quite meeting your eye, "I know the last thing you want to do is talk, but I'm not about to stand here and let you walk home by yourself."

He turned around to look back at the car, watching how Taggie had stepped out and was standing face-to-face with her dad, chastising him for staying out so late. Declan looked over for a moment, offered a small wave to you and Rupert and resigned himself to the justified beratement from his daughter - he knew in the bottom of his heart that she was right, but drinking was the easy way out and they both knew that.

Taggie carted him into the front seat of the passenger's side, and beckoned Rupert over with a stern but tired look on her face. Rupert patted you on the shoulder, leaving you with a small, "Just one second, alright?" before jogging over to Taggie. You couldn't hear what they were saying, but with the vague gestures that Rupert made to you and the glances you caught from Taggie, you assumed they were talking about you. It made you want to dissolve, but that was the risk you took. And, at the end of the day, you were glad of the rest of the night you had, even if it ended prematurely.

Rupert, ever the gentleman, walked you the 30 minutes home, in relative silence. He broke it only to ask your name and if you were alright, both questions that you answered with the least information required.

After a particularly awkward walk, you got to your door, and as you fumbled with your keys, you paused, took a breath and turned to face Rupert. "Look, I don't want this to become a whole ordeal-"

"Don't worry, I won't tell a soul." Rupert smiled, and it looked more genuine than the ones he flashed on Declan's show, "Your secret is safe with me." He reassured, nodding goodnight as you disappeared into your house to sneak into bed, alone.

#declan o’hara x reader #rivals x reader #declan o'hara #rivals #rivals 2024 #rivals fanfiction

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worldly-fluster · 1 day ago

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WARNING: ANGST

Talk of wanting to commit unalive.

You have been warned.

The LADS boys when...they find your 'Diary'

--Zayne-- Part 3 of 4

This is gonna be...fun lol

Zayne-

•He knew, somewhat, of what happened. In the time that he was gone, he knew something happened.

•Before he left, when you were younger kids, you were so...bratty. He may have looked like he hated it but he just couldn't get enough of you, as you were.

•He left in order to learn more, to help your heart.

•But when he was finally able to come back, when he saw you again...it was like whiplash.

•You were so quiet. So...withdrawn.

•This won't do.

•He knew you didn't speak about your family anymore. He didn't pry, they were full of themselves before he left, probably nothing changed with them so he saw no point in worrying.

•So he worked, even more, to get you to come back. His little bratty childhood friend.

•He succeeded after a while. You were confident again, acting like the kid you were a long time ago but...more mature this time.

•Though he may not like that your job puts you in harms way, but he couldn't force you to stop something that made you happy.

•He saw your eyes gleam when you saved lives. He couldn't, wouldn't ever even try to take that away from you.

•Today was no different.

•You just successfully defeated one of the most powerful Wanderers the association has seen in a while, yeah there were casualties but there were more survivors than wounded. Thanks to your quick thinking.

•He took you out to celebrate, after checking you were unharmed.

•You both went to an old restaurant that you used to go to as kids, he wanted to see you happy with memories.

•What he didn't expect was to run into your Mother and...some random man?

•You all stared at each other for a few seconds before Zayne stepped between you and smiled, stiffly.

•"Oh Hi Zayne, it's been a while. How are things?"

•While Zayne talked with your mother, he figured out a few things.

•Your parents got divorced, and your mother is... a complete narcissist.

•She married another narcissist, perfect for each other.

•The whole conversation took a turn however when they asked what you did for a living...

•When told, your Mother frowned.

•"So you were one of the people who failed so save those innocent lives lost?" "No wonder they died. Maybe you should have tried harder."

•When you told her that you got hurt trying your best, she frowned deeper.

•"Still, if I were you I would have tried harder and if that wasn't enough I would have sacrificed myself. I wouldn't be able to live with myself, like you, because I have a soul."

•Upon hearing this, Zayne understood more of why you stopped being around your mother.

•Zayne quickly came up with a work emergency, saying that he was your ride and you left most of your things in his car so he'll take you with him.

•He took your hand gently, paid the bill, and led you away to his car.

•He could feel icy hot anger creeping up his back, he knew if he heard anymore he would accidentally use his evol.

•He loved you since the beginning. He couldn't stand hearing that and knowing that you used to believe that... hopefully you don't anymore, not if he can help it.

•He drove you home and both of you decided to stay inside to read a few books you have yet to read.

•When you got home, you immediately went to take a shower, to get your thoughts together, while Zayne looked through the surprisingly large selection of books.

•While searching, he saw one of your old notebooks that he would see you write in sometimes. He's asked about it and you told him he could read it at a later date.

•He figured now was the later date, so he picked it up to read.

•Only a few pages on and he realized what you ment by 'later'.

•This notebook is the equivalent to writing a Will...and he didn't like how you were 'talking' about your death coming sooner or later whether it be by natural causes or your own hand...he definitely didn't like that part.

•He kept reading, thinking that maybe he should have convinced you to therapy, but he saw something about how you have been to too many therapists and you're sick of it, so he decided not to worry about it quite yet.

•He got to the last entry, which seemed pretty recent, when he heard your shower stop so he immediately snapped the book shut and put it back where he found it, picking up a random book next to it. Something called 'Forgiving what you can't forget', he doesn't know where you got this one nor does it look like something you would buy yourself.

•The entire time you all were reading together, he kept glancing from his book to you and the notebook.

•He decided he was definitely going to make sure that nothing in that book will come to fruition. If it's the last thing he does.

**I'm working on Rafayel's as we speak lol the last one, and imma try and make that one extra angsty cause I'm realizing most of you are Rafayel girlies 😘**

#love and deepspace #love and deepspace sylus #xavier love and deepspace #zayne love and deepspace #rafayel love and deepspace #love and deepspace imagine #lads sylus #lads zayne #lads angst #l&ds

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porcelainmortal · 2 days ago

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2024 Fic Writing Roundup

This is so fun!! Thanks for the tags, @cha-melodius @firenati0n, @onthewaytosomewhere, and the open tag @caterpills.

Getting to this late because I wanted to wait until my final fic of the year went live. I posted fics every month except January, which I'm super proud of. I've posted 27 fics (86 if you count ficlets and drabbles separately) with a total word count of 218,348, which is INSANE to me!! Especially knowing how many unfinished WIPs curently live on my Drive (around 80k worth) 🫣 AND the fact that before joining this fandom, I hadn't written much in many, many years.

So let's dive in!

JANUARY

busy writing but no posting!

FEBRUARY

a valentine for Alex (rated E | 1,968 words) post-canon Valentine's Day smut with lots of feelings when the curtains call the time (rated E | 27,916 words) angsty college au exes-to-lovers (no, not that one) with a bit of a love triangle being enough (rated T | 551 words) post-canon conversation re: Alex's bisexuality and Henry's insecurity handy for a handyman (rated E | 6,329 words) handyman!Alex part 1 - Alex is working construction at Henry's brownstone; Henry panics when he sees Alex shirtless and wishes he would pound something aside from the carpet

MARCH

a brit in Brooklyn (rated E | 6,689 words) handyman!Alex part 2 - Alex and Henry go on their first real date, feelings move in it happened on a lake (rated E | 18,967 words) Alex is at the family lake house, Henry is renting the house across the cove; when David assists in a meet cute, sparks fly - but how can a vacation fling possibly last??

APRIL

falling in a 5+1 (rated E | 10,600 words) handyman!Alex part 3 - five times Alex is unsure how Henry feels about him, and one time he knows the song of alex & henry (rated T | 1,062 words) firstprince reads TSOA; lots of feelings ensue

MAY

why do you call me baby? (rated M | 3,625 words) Alex figures out he's bi, decides to sow his wild oats, and meets Henry, who swiftly ruins all his plans Vegas, Baby (rated M | 12,735 words) Alex and Henry meet in Vegas, get drunk, and get married! Small complication: Henry lives in London and doesn't even know Alex.

JUNE

move your body (rated E | 2,500 words) post-canon dancing and smut inspired by the song "Lube" by Adam Lambert (I blame the Discord server) Saturdays are for the boys (rated E | 1,813 words) more post-canon smut, posted as the fandom's 10,000th fic! find me here and speak to me (rated E | 13,131 words) Alex is happily married when he meets his soulmate Henry Friday, i'm in love (rated E | ficlets) a collection of ficlets from Ficlet Fridays - 23 in total posted between June and September.

JULY

perineyum (rated E | 2,500 words) Alex tricks Henry into trying a stupid wellness trend; the result is introspective rimming, outdoors edition

AUGUST

take my hand and let it spin (rated T | 1,000 words) a collection of drabbles - 10 in total - written for Tumblr prompts! right here, right now (rated E | 3,333 words) a night out dancing with a coworker/friend turns into a bisexual speed run and fun, playful smut the bartender and the blond (rated M | 9,999 words) slow burn romance

SEPTEMBER

i'm known for giving love away (rated E | 16,866 words) shy, sheltered Henry celebrates his 25th birthday with a visit to the strip club and best friend/wingman ever Pez buys him a lap dance with Alex Claremont-Diaz, part-time stripper and full-time law student cool for the summer (rated M | 1,500 words) drinking + teasing = relationship

OCTOBER

Freaktober (rated E | 14,475 words) my version of Kinktober with a Halloween twist! 20 smutty fics over 25 days. WHEW!! faith, trust, and pixie dust (rated M | 5,810 words) when Alex convinces his roommate Henry to dress in a couples' costume for the annual Okonjo Foundation Fundraising Gala, love confessions are inevitable

NOVEMBER

mad love. (rated E | 31,313) college au, exes-to-lovers angstfest with a happily ever after and a yummy topping of smut (including bottom Alex!) smutsgiving 2024 (rated E | 100 word drabble) a smutty drabble that's mostly feelings

DECEMBER

wrapped up in music & lyrics (rated M | 1,000 words) Spotify Wrapped drabbles, lots of angst and sadness, all canon-compliant, 10 in total what if we just fall? (rated E | 4,565 words) Alex and Henry are roommates who occasionally share a bed and apparently, feelings for each other... it's a smutfest, folks wrapped in red (rated M | 4,029 words) post-canon Christmas vignettes through the boys' first ten years together

A MASSIVE thank you to everyone who read, kudos'd commented, reblogged, etc. - all of that interaction kept me going. This year was hard and I only made it through bc of this fandom and all my new friends. ILY all. 💕

An open tag as always, but also tagging below the cut!!

@anincompletelist @blueeyedgrlwrites @cactusdragon517 @cricketnationrise @faketrex

@freyjaexplores @getmehighonmagic @hgejfmw-hgejhsf @iboatedhere @inexplicablymine

@kiwiana-writes @littlemisskittentoes @myheartalivewrites @nocoastposts @priincebutt

@rmd-writes @sparklepocalypse @stellarmeadow @tailsbeth-writes @thesleepyskipper

@theprinceandagcd @thighzp @whimsymanaged @wordsofhoneydew

HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO ALL OF YOU!! ✨

#2024 writing round up #rwrb fanfic #rwrb fic recs #porcelainmortal writes #firstprince fanfic #ao3 wrap up #fic writing #first year of fic writing in the bag #thanks for the warm welcome #rwrb fandom

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plebbypebblepleb · 3 days ago

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Merry Christmas to my lovely moots!!

and almost happy birthday to me~ fufu, it's the 27th if you havent heard me yapping already! :3

So, to begin this, I want you all to know how much you really mean to me. Everyone here has been a huge part of the reason why i'm still doing art. I've been working on this and hinting at it since the start of the month!

I've been so excited to finish this project, and I hope that this will brighten up your holidays. Keep in mind, EVERYTHING IS PLATONIC!!

also, the order doesn't mean anything. it's just random! (i didnt even finish the drawings in this order, so i have actually 0 idea why it's like this lmao)

AND NO !!! I DONT HAVE FAVORITES. PLEASE DONT BE SAD IF YOUR NOTE IS SHORTER THAN OTHERS!! I JUST INTERACT MORE WITH THEM/HAVE KNOWN THEM LONGER. YOU ALL ARE SOOO IMPORTANT TO ME!! I PROMISE GUYS 😭😭😭

✦ Find your @, and read what I wrote for ya! Then, scroll all the way down for a little surprise ;3 ☆

Without further ado, LETS GET IT STARTED! 🩷🎀

@pr3tty-0n-the-inside,

where do i even begin? through my entire time in the outsiders fandom, you've been there and encouraged me throughout it. you complimented my silly crossovers, and we've overall had the best conversations. you've encouraged me throughout the entire magical girl series, and you're a big reason on why that was finished. thank you SO MUCH for being in my life. thank you for randomly messaging me when we became moots. thank you thank you, thank you. I hope you have wonderful holidays, you deserve it.

Your humor is so amazing, and I always find myself laughing whenever I talk to you. I love your roleplay account and just how you interact with people, and I love your personality.

“my fuckass computer unplugged, kill me” poetry. Words of an angel.

also, be a little nicer to yourself :3

@qqtofu,

i know we haven't talked that much, but i really do admire your art so much! you've been a huge inspiration to me, and just looking at your art gives me inspiration to draw! rin is my favorite vocaloid, and gosh, you really do her justice! i mean, how could you not? you're so super talented! and you're super sweet as well, I hope you have a great christmas/any holiday you celebrate, and i'd love to get to know ya better! <3

@charlie-bonkerz,

we've recently become moots, I know, but you still deserve to be celebrated! you have been so super supportive and I always have a smile on my face while reading your messages!

sometimes, I'll admit, I scroll back to that one compliment you gave when I'm feeling insecure about my art. (ponyboy drawing) I keep rereading it and it's been motivating me to continue doing art. Seriously, I can't stress how much those big compliments mean. I don't receive a lot of support for my art irl and your words really do have a huge impact on me.

thank you so much for being in my life, I wouldn't trade your friendship for anything. Also you're stunning.

@deim0sdread,

DALLAS!!!! thanks so so much for being in my life, you've genuinely encouraged me so much, and I couldn't be happier that I'm your friend! your oc was so fun to draw! thank you for your requests on the magical girl series, getting requests always makes my day so much better, and I get so happy whenever people show that they like my art! especially you, when I first saw how much you liked my art, I almost cried. You're the sweetest, merry Christmas / happy holidays (I'm not sure what you celebrate, but have fun with whatever it is :3) 🩷🎀

@sugarberry-beetle,

kk!! :o your oc was so cute and fun to draw! I'm so glad you randomly popped into my messages! our conversations always make me smile, and the way you type is sooo cutteeee 🩷🎀 thank you for calling my art cool, yours is 18.52% cooler than mine!!! >:333 merry Christmas/happy holidays kk!!!! :D keep creating art, id love to see it! and never give up writing! It's so adorable! DALBIT!!!!

@eepyguy1987,

youve been nothing but kind to me in messages and in my inbox! thank you so much, you make me so happy whenever i see an ask/message for you, and you're definitely a highlight of my days! thanks for being in my life!

@magefelixir,

hey there Felix! I know we don't interact much, but when we do, it's always a blast! your compliments and you expressing how much my art means to you is such a huge push for me to keep creating. If I'm going to be honest, that mesmerizer drawing was created in my head because of you! I'm so thankful for you, mwah 🩷

@cheryyy-valancce,

Cherry, you're genuinely such an amazing person and a kind soul. Your encouraging words and just compliments overall have seriously brightened up my days so much. Our endless reblogs talking about random stuff, and our conversations about vocaloid have been soooo sweet. I love interacting with you in character and out of character, because you're just so amazing to talk with!

Being your friend has been so memorable this year, and I couldn't be more grateful. I love you, cherry! I hope you have wonderful holidays!

@greasergirllll,

we haven't interacted much as of lately, but I do remember when we did, and gosh. That was so fun. You encouraged me so much to really finish off the greasers as magical girls series! Thanks so much, really. Im so grateful for our conversations, and I hope we can talk a bit more soon! 🩷🎀🌟 Happy holidays :3

@nexternalknowsthingz,

HEY THERE NEX!!! youve been such a huge inspo to me.. I don't know if you remember but I commented on a post of yours waaaayyyayay before I even started on any outsiders works.. and you responded and called my art cutee...ababahshaba

ok maybe maybe maybe I was squealing and blushing a bit and maybe I was rereading that comment

BUT!!!! gosh, youve seriously encouraged me so much. Your art is always so fun to see, and I love being moots. Thanks so so much for being my friend, and I hope you have amazing holidays! Hope to get to know you more :3

@boxxy-roxxy,

Rui, your art is sooo pretty. I love the down turned eyes and your colors, seriously, you're insanely talented! I'm so honored to be friends with such an amazing artist, and I still cherish that art trade we did. :3 the way you draw Johnny is so cute, and I LOVE seeing new art from you! I've said this before and I'll say it again. Seeing new art from you is like opening a Christmas present! Never stop, because then I'll miss ya!! (Unless you take a break, even then, I'll support you! You're awesome!!🩷🎀)

@six-eyed-samurai,

When I first saw your tokyo rev stuff, I was like, "woah!! that's cool!" and followed you. Pretty soon after were the long ass asks for the texts and such, and I was so happy when you answered them. I'm gonna be honest, I loved reading your authors notes more than I liked reading the actual texts.

Being able to call you my friend has been such a blessing, from the times you put up with my weird requests, all the way to now. Our headcanons have been so fun to make, and yes. In another universe, we're performing APT. with rindou, ran, inupi, and koko. It's been an amazing year, and I loved every second that was spent with you.

yes. you are a masochist. I don't understand WHY YOU ENJOY GRAPE FLAVORED CANDY?! ITS NOT SANE. ITS NOT AND I WILL STAND BY THE FACT THAT YOU BELONG IN AN ASYLUM. ALSO IM NOT WEIRD FOR DRINKING VINEGAR, ITS LITERALLY GOOD. YOURE CRAZY.

im so happy we can bond over Haikyuu, Tokyo rev, and bsd, and I can't wait to see how your novel develops as you keep writing it! You'll never understand how much you mean to me because I lack to vocabulary to express it. I love you so, so much sunny. I can't wait for my next Christmas with you. 🩷🎀🌟

@redfielddoesthings,

Carmim, jeez. I've been putting off your letter for so long since I just didn't know what to write. you're one of my best best friends, and I enjoy your company so much. Talking with you brightens my day in a matter of seconds. I love the way you type, I love your humor, I love your art, I love your ocs, I love your style, I love you. please never ever change.

You've told me many times that you enjoy how enthusiastic I am, even when I ask if I should calm down around you. I never showed it but you have no clue how much that means to me. I've never really had anyone before this that enjoyed how energetic I was, and to finally know what it's like is a dream come true. Your encouraging words and just overall kindness have been motivating me to continue drawing and doing what I love.

Calling you my friend is such an honor, and I'd never trade it for anything. My life was a boring ass textbook before this, but you took some silly little highlighters in a bunch of colors and scribbled all over the pages. you've lit up my life so much and I can't thank you enough. I love you carmim, /p.

also if you ever say "my art isn't all that" ever again I'm leaking our "insiders" chats. 😋😋😋 I WILL STAND FOR NOTHING BUT COMPLIMENTS FOR YOURSELF

ALRIGHT! the final message before I let you guys go on with your Christmas!

Sometimes I forget how much I'm loved, and how lucky I am to have you all in my life. Being friend with you guys makes me so grateful and helps me realize that people DO enjoy seeing my art. I mentioned this in a few messages, but I do not get much support from the people around me regarding my art. Your compliments mean SO much to me, and I couldn't be happier that I've met all of you.

going back to "forgetting how much I'm loved," I'm sure you guys do too. Keep this as a reminder of how much I care about you and how much you mean to me. You deserve everything and more, and I can't stand to know that a world exists where I don't have all of you. I don't wanna think about the fact that you guys may feel that someone doesn't care about you, because I do. I need you to know that I do care and I will always be here for you. I love you guys so much, and I could never be happier.

AND WITH THAT, WE'RE FINISHED!!!🩷🎀

time taken (for everything combined) : ~22hrs 50m

#willy's silly billies!!

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pixiecaps · 2 days ago

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posted this playlist a year ago today so i thought i’d be fun to explain the songs i chose. below i put a section of the songs that i really like and also translate the lyrics either into english or spanish so enjoy :3

Track 1: Please Please Please Let Me Get What I Want - Deftones

“So for once in my life. Let me get what I want. Lord knows it would be the last time. Lord knows it would be the first time”

Traducción: “Así que por una vez en mi vida. Déjame tener lo que quiero. Dios sabe, que sería la ultima vez. Dios sabe, que sería la primera vez.”

the song is basically someone who has gone through a lot of despair pleading to be allowed the little bit of happiness theyve gotten after a real rough life. with qroier i feel like he acknowledges he loses everything and everyone and its like him pleading in the song for this one exception. this song is also a cover of the original version by the smiths but i felt like the deftones version captured more of the sound and emotions qroier would feel expressing the sentiment. they also slightly change some lyrics like in that final verse they change from “lord knows it would be the first time” which is repeated twice in the smiths version to instead “lord knows it would be the last time” and then finally “lord knowing it be the first time.” which really fucking adds to how hopeless and blunt it all feels. the way i interpret line change is you know this is going to be the last time something good happens to me so its simultaneously the first and last for this person and theyre still begging for it while being aware of that.

Track 2: All I Think About Now - Pixies

“I remember we were happy. That’s all I think about now. If you have any doubt. I want to thank you anyhow.”

Traducción: “Recuerdo que fuimos feliz. Eso es todo en lo que pienso ahora. Si tienes alguna duda. Quiero darte las gracias de cualquier manera.”

this song for me is about jaiden and bobby and the family roier had with them. it’s like an after reflection of what they had and an apology to jaiden and bobby and himself in a way. just qroier being stuck in the past and feeling like he could’ve been so much better because he “failed” when maybe he isnt the judge of that. i really do imagine this as a conversation with jaiden in my head.

Track 3: And I Lover Her - Kurt Cobain

“A love like ours will never die. As long as I hold you near me.”

Traducción: “Un amor como lo nuestro nunca morirá. Mientras te tenga cerca de mi.”

another cover. i think its obvious the type of sound im going for and i really just wanted certain musicians to have a spot on the playlist. the way kurt sings this one was so perfect for roier that there was no way it didn’t get added. this one is a song dedicated to how qroier feels about cellbit. #1 spiderbit warrior reporting for duty.

Track 4: Blow Out - Radiohead

“In my mind and nailed into my heels. All the time killing what I feel. And everything I touch turns to stone.“

Traducción: “En mi mente y clavado en mis talones. Todo el tiempo mantando lo que siento. Y todo lo que toco se convierte en piedra.”

this one for me nails qroier’s feelings of feeling like everything he does and touches fucks up. captures the feeling pretty well.

Track 5: Otoño / Invierno - The Space Ocean

“Mi cuerpo duele otra vez. Está cansado de correr hacia eso que nunca podrá tener. Todo se empieza a desvanecer.”

Translation: “My body hurts again. It's tired of running towards what I’ll never be able to have. It's all starting to fade away.”

for me this song is a reaction to bobbys death particularly thinking of the timeframe after the rescue bobby mission and the day in the pool that he spent hours in dissociating. this song sorta captures how i perceive roiers feelings in that moment and what was going through his head. i really like the last part of that verse cause it all did begin to fade when bobby was confirmed never coming back. everything he had built after he had lost so much in the betrayal, his family, jaiden, his kid, his home, everything just slowly faded away and i imagine it felt familiar. he had experienced this already with spreen and missa etc. its a cycle he seems to be unfortunately tied to.

Track 6: Del Otro lado - Aevnu

“Qué va a pasar ahora que nada sucedió. Qué va a pasar ahora que somos tú y yo. Volteame a ver y dime qué voy a estar. Con todo esto creo que voy a enloquecer. Y me hundo en lo profundo de este mundo y solo pienso en ti. Solo pienso en ti. Y me comen los segundos. Ya no escucho solo pienso en ti. Solo pienso en ti.”

Translation: “What's going to happen now that nothing happened. What's going to happen now that it's just you and me. Turn to me and tell me that I'm going to be okay. With all this I think I'm going to go crazy. And I sink deep into this world and all I think about is you. All I think about is you. And the seconds are eating me up. I can’t hear anymore I just think of you. I only think of you.”

qroier uncertainty. post bobby death. early spiderbit. roier needing that saving from drowning in his own misery and finding comfort in cellbits company. just a lot of sadness mixed emotions and falling in love. also i did not realize how indie this song was until i couldn’t find lyrics anywhere and had to transcribe it myself to pick a verse i like kkkkkkkkkkk.

Track 7: Espacio Pequeño - Princesa Cereza

“Te siеnto como un grito bien guardado que me abraza еntre suspiros. Con tus dedos tocando mi piel. Amárrame y enrédame a tus ojos no me sueltes te lo pido. Aunque finjamos que todo está bien (no lo está).”

Translation: “I feel you like a well-kept scream that embraces me between sighs. With your fingers touching my skin. Tie me up me and entangle me in your eyes don't let me go I beg you. Even if we pretend that everything is fine (it's not).”

yet another little love song about cellbit. also more misery while loving. spiderbit really is a lot of we’re constantly going through so much pain and bullshit but we have each other. that’s whats keeping them both afloat.

Track 8: No Me Siento Mejor - Panico

“Cierro los ojos y escapo a ese lugar para no hundirme más. Pero esta sombra no me abandonará y el tiempo no se detiene jamás. No me siento mejor.”

Translation: “I close my eyes and I escape to that place so I don’t sink any deeper. But this shadow will not leave me and time never stops. I don’t feel better.”

incredibly short song. this one is more focused on the grief qroier felt around bobby’s death and again i go back to thinking about his day in the pool where spends so many hours there. i can picture him eyes closed floating in the water and thinking about that one day in the rose fields with bobby and jaiden to comfort himself but when he opens his eyes he can feel that grief stuck with him now and time is still going no matter how much he wishes for it to stop.

Track 9: Resentment - A Day To Remember

“No, I can't stop feeling like every day's exactly the same. With a one track mind I don't think I can change. Trapped in memories, stuck on replay, replay, replay.”

Traducción: “No, no puedo dejar de sentir que cada día es exactamente igual. Con una mente unidireccional que no creo que pueda cambiar. Atrapado en los recuerdos, atrapado en la repetición, repetición, repetición.”

you know. qspreen. and roiers issues with his revenge grudge anger. resentment. argh.

Track 10: Honey - Hole

“Why wasn’t I good enough to save you from destruction? And your end and my beginning, oh, they need no introduction.”

Traducción: “¿Por qué no fui lo suficientemente bueno para salvarte de la destrucción? Y tu final y mi principio, oh, no necesitan introducción."

bobby death song. no one talk to me

Track 11: I Guess - Mitski

“It's been you and me since before I was me. Without you, I don't yet know quite how to live. If I could keep anything of you I would keep just this quiet after you.”

Traducción: “Hemos sido tú y yo desde antes de ser yo. Sin ti, todavía no sé muy bien cómo vivir. Si pudiera conservar algo de ti me quedaría con este silencio después de ti.”

mandatory mitski inclusion. this one to me is sorta a dedicated song to the family structure roier had with bobby and jaiden. it’s a goodbye to them and a thank you.

Track 12: Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing - Set It Off

“So tell me how you're sleeping easy? How you're only thinking of yourself? Oh, show me how you justify telling all your lies like second nature. Listen, mark my words, one day (one day) you will pay, you will pay. Karma's gonna come collect your debt.”

Traducción: “Dime, ¿Cómo duermes tranquilo? ¿Cómo piensas solamente en ti? Muéstrame cómo justificas diciendo todas tus mentiras como segunda naturaleza. Escucha, marca mis palabras, un día (un día) pagarás, pagarás. El karma vendrá a cobrar tu deuda.”

qspreen song yayyy betrayal yayyy qroier anguish and anger yayyy revenge yayyy!!!!!

Track 13: Hurt - Nine Inch Nails

“What have I become? My sweetest friend, everyone I know goes away in the end.”

Traducción: “En qué me he convertido? Mi dulcísimo amigo, todos a quienes conozco se van al final.”

just qroier depression. his pain.

Track 14: Out Of Control - She Wants Revenge

“We can't slow down even if we tried. If the record keeps spinning so will I. She likes disco and tastes like a tear. Tells me don't stop dancing and she's pulling me near.”

Traducción: “No podríamos detenernos incluso si lo intentáramos. Si la canción continúa girando yo igual. Le gusta la discoteca y sabe a lágrima. Diciéndome ‘no te detengas’ y acercándome a ella.”

this one simply put is a melissa song. like from the pov of someone at casualonas dancing with her. iconic.

Track 15: ¿Dónde Estás? - Denso

“¿Dónde estás? ¿Adónde irás? No te puedo encontrar y no sé qué hacer. Si esté bien buscarte otra vez.”

Translation: “Where are you? Where will you go? I can't find you and I don't know what to do. If it's okay to look for you again."

as the title explains just a song that in my head roier sings it about cellbit after he leaves him on the island and hes like where are you? i also like that the last part of that line says again cause for spiderbit it is the second time qro has to look for cellbit and hes almost asking like you left me again will it be alright if i look for you again? the answer is yes.

Track 16: Señorita Revolución - Bruses

“Cuando ella camina la poesía está en la calle. Y le parte su madre a cualquier wey miserable. Si la vez pasando más te vale ser amable. Y si no rompan todo que esta morra esta que arde”

Translation: “When she walks, poetry is in the street. And she'll beat the shit out of any miserable guy. If you see her having a bad time you better be kind. And if you don't, break everything, cause this bitch is on fire.”

another melissa song everyone cheer. shes a badass and im in love with her what else can i say?

Track 17: Maneater - Daryl Hall & John Oates

“I wouldn't if I were you. I know what she can do. She's deadly, man, she could really rip your world apart. Mind over matter. Oh, the beauty is there, but a beast is in the heart.”

Traducción: “No lo haría si fuera tú. Sé lo que puede hacer. Ella es mortal, hombre, podría destrozar tu mundo. Mente sobre materia. Oh, la belleza está ahí, pero una bestia está en el corazón.”

melissa again. yay!!!! ^_^ i think perfectly describes the tricking qquackity situation melissa is a man eater!!!!!!!

Track 18: Turista - Cazzeros

“Me encuentro en todos lados menos dónde quiero estar. Se siente tan vacío tener que volver a empezar. Soy un turista de emociones. Sin rumbo y sin soluciones. No quiero regresar siempre al mismo lugar.”

Translation: “I find myself everywhere but where I want to be. It feels so empty to have to start over. I am a tourist of emotions. Without direction and without solutions. I don't want to always return to the same place.”

the song kinda focuses on someone who feels like a wanderer without direction and purpose really and i think that applies to roier especially with his feelings. this ones fun to read into.

Track 19: Demolition Lovers - My Chemical Romance

“And as we're falling down, and in this pool of blood. And as we're touching hands, and as we're falling down. And in this pool of blood, and as we're falling down. I'll see your eyes, and in this pool of blood. I'll meet your eyes, I mean this forever.”

Traducción: Mientras caigamos, en esta piscina de sangre. Mientras nos acariciemos las manos, mientras caemos. En esta piscina de sangre, mientras caigamos. Veré tus ojos, en esta piscina de sangre. Nuestras miradas se encontrarán, lo prometo para siempre.”

whenever i listen to this song i so vividly think of qroier and qcellbits conversation right before purgatory where they agree go down that path together and theyre a sacrificial mess and theyre willing to do anything and theyre in it together. thats what this song captures for me and just like the song it does feel like their death and the downfall you know? theyre in that pool of blood together.

Track 20: Si No Te Hubieras Ido - Marco Antonio Solis

“No hay nada más difícil que vivir sin ti. Sufriendo en la espera de verte llegar. El frío de mi cuerpo pregunta por ti. Y no sé dónde estás. Si no te hubieras ido, sería tan feliz.”

Translation: “There is nothing more difficult than living without you. I’m suffering in the wait of watching you return. The chills of my body ask for you. and I dont know where you are. If you hadn’t left me, I’d be so happy.”

this one doesnt need much of an explanation. cinta one song. spiderbit. roier sadness and yearning and longing and desperation over cellbit. the usual. i actually did a whole post breaking down this song here!

Track 21: Siempre Te Voy a Querer - Arroba Nat

“Perdón por no estar a tu lado. En mi mente yo te llevo a diario. Son tantos recuerdos que guardo en mi corazón. Siempre te voy a querer. Y espero que el tiempo a mi lado no sea tan malo porque soy difícil de entender.”

Translated: “Sorry for not being by your side. In my mind I carry you daily. There are so many memories that I keep in my heart. I will always love you. And I hope the time by my side wasn’t so bad because I'm hard to understand.”

this one for me a song dedicated to bobby. particularly after losing him and roier sorta just reflecting. longing for a past you cant get back even.

Track 22: Crecer - Las Ligas Menores

“Está muy mal si ya nada de verdad me importa? Está muy mal si ya no confío en nadie? Está muy mal si ya no creo en ciertas cosas? Como el cielo es azul y el odio no duele.”

Translated: "Is it very bad if nothing really matters to me anymore? Is it very bad if I don't trust anyone anymore? Is it very bad if I no longer believe in certain things? Like the sky is blue and hate doesn't hurt."

lets give a round of applause to post betrayal depression.

Track 23: The Blood - The Cure

“Tell me who doesn't love what can never come back. You can never forget how it used to feel. The illusion is deep its as deep as the night. I can tell by your tears you remember it all.”

Traducción: “Dime quién no ama lo que no puede volver. No puedes olvidar nunca cómo se sentía. La ilusión es profunda tan profunda como la noche. Puedo darme cuenta, por tus lágrimas, que lo recuerdas todo.”

longing and nostalgia. and what if i said this was a song about qspreen. particularly about roiers memories with him and inability to let go of the past. being unable to move on.

Track 24: Un Amor Violento - Los Tres

“Cuando por primera vez te vi supe que el cielo era para ti. Y para mí. Y para ti y para mí. Nunca más podré dormir, nunca más podré soñar con nadie que no seas tú. Gastaré toda mi vida en comprar la tuya. Gastaré toda mi vida. Y más.”

Translated: “When I saw you for the first time, I knew heaven was made for you. And for me. For you and for me. I could never sleep again, I could never dream again with anyone that isn't you. I will spend my whole life in buying yours. I will spend my whole life. And more.”

cellbit. song about cellbit. roier in love. so in love.

Track 25: Bleed Out - The Mountain Goats

“There was a chance we'd make it through this. It's safe to say now that we've missed it. And I won’t ever lose hope and I haven’t lost hope. I’m just realistic. I will go down punching, but I will go down. And my corner men won’t bring me back around. Bleed out, I'm gonna bleed out.”

Traducción: "Había una posibilidad de que saliéramos de ésta. Es seguro decir ahora que la hemos perdido. Y nunca perderé la esperanza y no la he perdido. Simplemente soy realista. Caeré a puñetazos, pero caeré. Y mis esquineros no me traerán de vuelta. Desangraré, me desangraré.”

roiers constant struggle with the federation and acknowledging the likely morbid end. this ones fun to read into.

Track 26: Blood & Fire - Type O Negative

“Moi cherie, you remain a mystery to me. I see your face in every flame. With no answers I have only myself to blame. Of all the women that I have known - they're not you. I'd rather be alone.”

Traducción: "Moi cherie, sigues siendo un misterio para mí. Veo tu rostro en cada llama. Sin respuestas, sólo puedo culparme a mí mismo. De todas las mujeres que he conocido - no son tú. Prefiero estar solo.”

spiderbit song particularly after cellbit stayed on the island and roiers sorta rage. usually with these songs i picture a music video in my head and with the lyric of the flame i always imagine it showing the flame from all of cellbits cinematics. directing a whole music video in my head with every reference in the world.

Track 27: Si Yo No Te Tengo a Ti - Hombres G

“Yo no tengo nada que me haga sonreir. Nadie que me abrace fuerte y me haga feliz. No tengo nada que hacer. No tengo porque vivir. No tengo nada de nada, si no te tengo a ti. Solo quiero que estés cerca de mí.”

Translated: “I don’t have anything that makes me smile. Nobody to hug me tightly and that makes me happy. I have nothing to do. I don't have a reason to live. I have nothing at all, if I don't have you. I just want you to be near me.”

more roier depression over cellbit leaving him.

Track 28: Un Millón de Primaveras - Vicente Fernández

“Te molesta aguanta por favor. Te lo juro estoy a punto de olvidarte. Solo falta un millón de primaveras. Unos cuantos siglos solo he de adorarte. Solo falta un millón de primaveras. Después de eso ya no vuelvo a molestarte.”

Translated: “It bothers you, please bear it. I swear to you, I am just about to forget you. All that’s left is a million springs. Just a few centuries is all I need to adore you. All that’s left is a million springs. After that, I will not bother you again.”

this ones on the playlist cause its what he sang to bobby during día de los muertos and i think about that a lot. this song is about a father and son relationship specifically as a tribute after the musician who produced and wrote the song lost his son (he doesnt sing it however) so the fact qroier sang it to bobby sorta eats me alive and makes me sob.

Track 29: The Hand That Feeds - Nine Inch Nails

“You're keeping in step in the line. Got your chin held high and you feel just fine. Cause you do what you're told. But inside your heart it is black and it's hollow and it's cold. Just how deep do you believe? Will you bite the hand that feeds? Will you chew until it bleeds?”

Traducción: “Mantienes el paso en la línea. Mantienes tu frente en alto y te sientes muy bien. Porque haces lo que se te dice. Pero por dentro tu corazón es negro y esta vacio y es frio. ¿Qué tan profundo crees? ¿Morderás la mano que te da de comer? ¿La masticaras hasta que sangre?”

anti federation qroier sentiment song. this song itself is political so its fitting.

Track 30: Película - Perras On The Beach

“Quiero mil vidas. Al lado tuyo moriría. Pero de verdad esto es al final. Amor profundo. Pero la verdad te quiero hasta el final de este bello mundo. Me han apagado. No tengo el control. Ya no se ni como me siento.”

Translated: "I want a thousand lives. By your side I would die. But the truth is: this is, at the end, deep love. But the truth is: I love you until the end of this beautiful world. I have been turned off. I do not have the control anymore. I don't even know how I feel anymore."

i like to imagine roier singing this song during purgatory about cellbit particularly when hes with green gay ninjas and just fondly missing cellbit and reflecting on how much he loves him.

Track 31: Lo Que Construimos - Natalia Lafourcade

“Esta historia terminó, no existe. Lo que un día construimos, se ha esfumado. Pareciera que es más fácil dejarnos. Pero eres un fantasma conmigo caminando. No creas que no valió la pena. No creas que no eres importante. Al contrario, yo te amé con toda el alma. No creas que no valió la pena. No creas que lo perdimos, esto que nos duele. Aunque nos duele, es solo nuestro.”

Translated: “This story has ended, it no longer exists. What we had one day built has gone up in smoke. It seems easier for us to leave each other but you’re a ghost walking along with me. Don't think it wasn't worth the effort. Don't think you aren't important. On the contrary, I loved you with all my soul. Don't think it wasn't worth the effort. Don't think that we lost it. This pain of ours, even though it hurts us, it's ours alone.”

The song talks about the end of something two people built together so this is qroier and qjaiden for me. the family they built is gone and it’s the end of their story isnt it?

Track 32: Esta Es Pa No Pensar - Sioqué

“Así no puedes seguir, tienes que pensar en ti. No saben como estoy. No saben como estoy cuando estoy sola. Cuando estoy sola. No dejan de decir que la vida sigue por ahí quiero irme de aquí. Yo quiero irme de aquí. Cuando estoy sola. Cuando estoy sola.”

Translated: “You can’t continue like this, you have to think of yourself. They don’t know how I am. They don’t know how I am when I’m alone. When I’m alone. They won’t stop saying that life keeps going I want to get out of here. I want to get out of here. When I’m alone. When I’m alone.”

this song focuses on themes of addiction and more generally people not noticing how much you may be struggling when youre alone. being at a point where you’re disregarding everything including your health and no one coming to save you. that level of low just reminds me of qroier despite him not actually dealing with any type of addiction. more-so the mentally spiraling whilst alone and no one noticing or coming to save you.

Track 33: La Muerte Chiquita - Café Tacvba

“Dame la muerte chiquita. Antes del último sueño. Una cosa a Dios yo pido. Un segundo ser su dueño. La venganza es cosa dulce. Y este machete que tengo es por si alguien le hizo daño. Que yo por usted me muero. Es por si alguien le hizo daño. Que yo por usted... Dicen que usted trae las sombras y por dentro está toda herida. Por una noche en su lecho soy capaz de dar la vida.”

Translated: “Give me death, little one. Before the last sleep. I ask one thing of God. To be your owner for one second. Vengeance is a sweet thing. And this machete that I have is in case someone has harmed you. Because for you I would die. It's in case someone has harmed you. Because for you I would… They say that you bring the shadows and inside are all hurt. For one night in your bed I'm capable of giving my life.”

another spiderbit song focused on qroier willing to give it all for cellbit and to protect him. and being down bad tremendously.

Track 34: Knives Out - Radiohead

“I want you to know. He's not coming back. Look into my eyes. I'm not coming back. So knives out. Catch the mouse. Don't look down. Shove it in your mouth.”

Traducción: “Quiero que sepas. Que él no va a volver. Mírame a los ojos. Yo no voy a volver. Entonces cuchillos fuera. Atrapa al raton. No mires hacia abajo. Mételo en tu boca.”

this song can be interpreted in a lot of ways but to me ive always listened to it under the lens of someone close to you dying. in the case of qroier its about bobby to me. and the violent aspects of the song reminded me a lot of purgatory for roier. particularly how with bobby’s death roier never came back in a way. he was never the same again. all he craved after that was vengeance.

alternatively you can look at this song completely differently and make it about qroier and doied and that completely changes the way you listen to it. very fun song.

Track 35: Selfless - The Strokes

“Please don't be long, 'cause I want you now. I don't have love without you around. Life is too short, but I will live for you.”

Traducción: “Por favor, no tardes, porque te quiero ahora. No tengo amor sin ti cerca. La vida es muy corta, pero viviré por ti.”

another song focusing on roiers devotion for cellbit particularly after cellbit has left him after purgatory.

Track 36: Paint It, Black - The Rolling Stones

“I look inside myself and see my heart is black. I see my red door I must have it painted black. Maybe then, I'll fade away. And not have to face the facts. It's not easy facing up. When your whole world is black.”

Traducción: “Miro dentro de mí y veo quе mi corazón es negro. Veo mi puеrta roja, debo tenerla pintada de negro. Tal vez entonces me desvanezca y no tenga que enfrentar los hechos. No es fácil enfrentarlo cuando todo tu mundo esta negro.”

more qroier depression particularly thinking of whenever he’d switch his skin to the one with the black hoodies.

Track 37: Brain Stew - Green Day

“My mind is set on overdrive. The clock is laughing in my face. A crooked spine, my senses dulled. Past the point of delirium. On my own, here we go.”

Traducción: "Mi mente está puesta en sobrecarga. El reloj se ríe en mi cara. Una columna torcida, mis sentidos embotados. Pasado el punto del delirio. Todo solo... allá vamos.”

qroier during purgatory song. that being one of the first times hes actually on his own and i feel like song capture his attitude during that moment. i also like it since irl roier was sick so i kinda like to imagine qroier was also feeling like shit not just from the fighting but cause he was a little ill himself.

Track 38: Reuse The Cels - Car Seat Headrest

“Will it be like before? Will I lose you again? If we reuse ourselves could there be any other end?”

Traducción: “Sera como antes? Te perderé otra vez? Si nos volvemos a utilizar podría haber otro final?”

this is written as a breakup song but i like to think of it in the context of qroier getting pepito and all the doubts he had about him considering everything he went through with bobby. reusing in this context for me would be using himself as parent of an egg again.

Track 39: She’s so Mean - Matchbox Twenty

“Every now and then she makes you just a little bit crazy. She'll turn the knife into your back and then she's calling you 'baby'. Crazy”

Traducción: “De vez en cuando ella te vuelve un poco loco. Ella va a girar el cuchicllo en tu espalda y luego te esta llamando 'bebe'. Loca.”

melissa song!!!!! <33 her sass her attitude her hard to get self. the mean part really channels roiers vibe when he tricked quackity in this song.

Track 40: Maneater - Nelly Furtado

“She's a maneater, make you work hard. Make you spend hard, make you want all of her love. She's a maneater, make you buy cars. Make you cut cards, wish you never ever met her at all.”

Traducción: “Ella es una debora-hombres, te hace trabajar duro. Te hace gastar duro, te hace querer todo su amor. Ella es una debora-hombres, te hace comprar coches. Te hace cortar tarjetas, te hace desear que nunca la hubieras conocido.”

another melissa song<33 just like songs that point out how she uses men and whole reason for existing was to trick quackity. also that shes hot.

Track 41: First Day of My Life - Bright Eyes

“Yours was the first face that I saw. I think I was blind before I met you. And I don't know where I am, I don't know where I've been but I know where I want to go.”

Traducción: “Tu cara fue el primero que ví. Creo que era ciego antes de conocerte. Ahora no sé donde estoy, no sé dónde he estado pero sé a dónde quiero ir.”

roier in love with cellbit song. thinking of how they were the first people they saw through that glass. how after that the course of roiers life was changed.

Track 42: Back to the Old House - The Smiths

“Here began all my dreams. The saddest thing I've ever seen. And you never knew how much I really liked you. Because I never even told you. Oh, and I meant to. Are you still there or have you moved away? Or have you moved away? I would love to go back to the old house. But I never will.”

Traducción: “Aquí comenzaron todos mis sueños. Lo más triste que he visto jamás. Y tú nunca supiste lo mucho que me gustabas. Porque ni siquiera te lo llegué a decir. Oh, y lo intente. ¿Aún estás allí o te has ido? ¿O te has ido? Me encantaría ir de vuelta a la antigua casa. Pero nunca lo haré.”

this song for me focuses a lot on the original wooden community house roier had with missa spreen and mariana. the first lyric of here all my dreams began is able all the scope roier had in the beginning especially with his dream of opening a taco shop.

also could apply to much later when the egg event started and all his dreams of a winning family with bobby and jaiden beginning in that house as well.

going back to roiers relationship with spreen the lyric you never knew how much i liked you cause they were truly best friends but it was not exactly explicitly stated by roier ever and they didnt really talk about how they felt but roier really really cared about spreen and its shown through his actions pre betrayal.

and never going back to that house is like roier reflecting on all of this in a reality where he made it to that new place on the island and he had to let go of that community home he had built and everything that happened there. lots of different ways you can see this song because it was connected to so many different people who stayed there.

Track 43: Bodysnatchers - Radiohead

“I have no idea what I am talking about. I'm trapped in this body and can't get out.”

Traducción: “No tengo idea de lo que estoy hablando. Estoy atrapado en este cuerpo y no puedo salir.”

this ones pretty self explanatory. roier identity crisis song taking place upon him realizing he literally isnt in his own body!! yay!!

Track 44: Weird Fishes / Arpeggi - Radiohead

“I'd be crazy not to follow. Follow where you lead. Your eyes, they turn me.”

Traducción: “Sería una locura no ir. Ir adonde tu vas. Tus ojos, me transforman.”

the uncertainty that comes with fighting against the federation and escaping the island. pushing past that. hes diving in cause cellbit pushes him further. he’s going down that path with him. getting eaten by the worms like doied and the federation. hitting the bottom and escaping which you can interpret in your own way. this entire song is interesting to interpret in your own way.

Track 45: Brutus - The Buttress

“And I'd be lying if I said I wasn't wishing for untimely death or demise. Or am I just wishing I could be like you?”

Traducción: “Y estaría mintiendo si dijera que no deseaba una muerte prematura o un fallecimiento. ¿O simplemente estoy deseando poder ser como tú?”

doied song from doied pov in the qroier playlist my god he even took over his body here!! less about the lyrics and more about the actual story being told.

Track 46: No One Noticed (Extended Spanish) - The Marias

“Estás, tan dentro de mí. Te sigo pensando. Te sigo esperando. Y estás, oh, tan lejos de mí, oh. Te sigo pensando. Me canso llorando.”

Translation: "You are, so deep inside of me. I keep thinking of you. I keep waiting for you. And you're, oh, so far away from me, oh. I keep thinking of you. I get tired crying."

no one noticed did they. except for cellbit. roier needed him so desperately. then he left him like everyone else.

everyones free to interpret all these songs however they want for qroier. also i still add songs whenever i feel so this post will also likely keep being updated with time :3

qroier playlist: tears and the smell of blood

#if you see any typos shhhhh #this took. a long time.

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itsalwaysdark · 4 months ago

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i like overthink everything now it makes me feel so dumb. i used 2 be able to just talk 2 ppl but nowadays every single thing im like Is that actually going to make them hate me. Yes probably. and then i just dont respond which makes ppl hate me. this is how it is

#ive been overthinking 1 light and casual mildly funny response to something but im worried itll come off as disrespectful and dismissive And #make me seem stupid and uncaring all at the same time. and also be seen as insulting. but like idt itd be insulting right like. im not #saying what it is so ig for all you guys know im like I mean if i say All your shit suck ball and i hateit kys. <- thats not the thing i was #going to say #like it doesnt matter now the window for response is closed now but i feel stupid bc i shouldve just said it it was light and casual. im so #bad at keeping convos gojng im convinced im not going to survive. In like a light and casual way like in a He will not make it through the #winter joke way. dw. im not going to do anything bc i had One failed interaction. if i was going to do anythjng itd be bc of the 8000000 #other failed interactions. But im not. anyways. it just makes me feel so useless 😭 like i want to respond i want to talk to ppl so bad but #i feel like i mess things up Irreparably every time i speak OR i take too LONG overthinking my response and then i just cant respond bc its #been too long and then its been 3 years and the only messages ive ever sent r my intro message and 1 message 2 years ago that nobody #responded to at all. or the conversation stopped immediately after. and like i used to be better at this i was lkke. talkative in a couple #muts servers like. i talked 2 ppl daily in those servers and i had fun and like. I was an important part of the group and i felt like it #but i just feel like such an outsider for Everything and its literally my fault bc i cant just like. Talk. The explosion. bc im always like #im gonna try im gonna do it this time im gonna get it back im going to finally be Good connor and im going to fix it all and make a Good #solid friend group and ill find HEALTHY LOVE and i wont selfsabotage and ill move out and have a job and ill balance it well and ill start #all my hobbies and ill have a great routine and be so loveable and on top of it and not stressed and content and happy and roll with the #punches and then theres a single hiccup and im like Well fuckinf whatever im going to be an unemployed hermit forever and im going to die b4 #im 25 anyways so Who cares and also im digging a little hole for myself. and its like. AUGHH ik i just have to persevere and overcome but #even saying that feels so stupid its not fucking hard its Talking to ppl. like. i literally if ive ever said a word to you i had to think #avt it and strategize how to respond right even for like. like. it makes it sound like its not genuine it is #like for example i want to say hey i love your art! but then i freak out and im like thats not normal thats like a rly generic comment they #hear that all the time theyll thjnk im being polite and my brains like hrmmm rewrite Your art changed my life. It shaped me. Ill never be #the same. Nad im like ok too far overcorrected go back and the sentence generator is like Your art has colors 💯 like. GOD. WHY IS IT SO #difficult. and then usually i either just dont say anythinf and feel awful abt it 4ever OR i send it on anon and then i spend like 15 #minutes ibsessively slightly tweaking the apelling and capitalization and punctuation to make sure it doesnt seem like its me just in case #it Is the worst possible thing to say but then i see the response and itll be like AWWW TYSM :] THIS MEANS A LOT or whathaveyou and i feel #stupid bc i couldve just Told them this to their face and it wouldve been a good positive interaction we had. but instead i had 2 hide and #tyoe entirely differently so they couldnt sniff me from my typing style. and it soesnt even feel like the thanks is actually 4 me bc i #tweaked the message sm. and it still makes me happy that the oersons hapoy but its like. that couldve been a nice mutual interaction #like not that i need a personal ty i compliment ppl when i Want to compliment ppl and when its genuine yk. i dont do it so i get mutualpoint

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jenevipcoraz · 8 months ago

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i got bored lol. bugsnax pronouns hcs because yes

Flavor Falls

Strabby - he/him

Pinkle - it/he/pickle

Rootle - he/him

White Rootle - she/they

Green Lollive - he/they

Inchwrap - he/it

Sandopede - she/her

Sub Sandopede - he/him

Ruby Peelbug - he/him

Caramel Poptick - he/it

Twisty Snakpod - any

Wee Mewon - he/him

Mama Mewon - she/her

Garden Grove

Bunger - he/him/cheese

Fryder - she/her

Shishkabug - he/him

Sweetiefly - he/it

White Strabby - she/they (demi girl)

Dr Sodie - she/they/soda

Weenyworm - she/her

Cobhopper - she/it

Crispy Snakpod - any

Simmering Springs

Kweeble - she/her (the 3 Kweebles (Gramble’s pets) are girls but Charwee prefers he/him)

Red Crapple - he/they (transmasc)

Pineantula - they/it (nonbinary goals)

Orange Peelbug - it/they (agender goals)

Razzby - she/her

Green Grapeskeeto - he/him/grapes (trans ftm)

Snaquiri - any but mostly uses she/her (she/any)

Tropicabug - they/them

Lovely Sweetiefly - she/her (she’s a lesbian. to me)

Baja Tacroach - he/him (bi goals)

Waffstackarak - he/it

Grumpy Snakpod - any

Boiling Bay

Golden Kweeble - he/him

Green Crapple - she/they (transfem)

Grapeskeeto - she/it/grapes

Greater Cocomite - they/them (nb and like Floofty)

Lesser Cocomite - he/him (like Snorpy. also he’s gay. to me)

La Sodieux - she/her/soda

Noodler - she/her (butch gurl)

Paletoss (Grande)- she/her

Red Banopper - he/it/banana

Flamin’ Cheepoof - they/flames/burns/it

Sherbie - she/her

Fruity Snakpod - any

Minimaki - he/him

Megamaki - she/her (she’s trans mtf. to me also the minimakis biggest sister)

Scorched Gorge

BBQ Bunger - he/they/cheese

Sweet Fryder - he/she

Ribblepede - it/she

Poptick - she/her

Scorpenyo - he/him

Spuddy - he/him

Shy Weenyworm - he/they

Cheepoof - he/him

White Cheepoof - she/her

Crystal Sweetiefly - he/it

Green Peelbug - he/him

Puffy Snakpod - any

Sizzlin’ Sands

Loaded Spuddy - he/they

Tacroach - she/it

Preying Picantis - he/him

Black Lollive - she/they

Buffalocust - it/they/he

Eggler - she/her

Flapjackarak - she/it

Scorpepper - she/her

Incherrito - she/her (transfem)

Black Razzby - he/they (demi boy)

Sodie D - she/her/soda

Cheezer - he/him

Meaty Snakpod - any

Bombino - it/he

Mothza Supreme - he/him

Sugarpine Woods

Kwookie - he/him

Charmallow - she/her

Cinnasnail - any (ultimate nb goals)

Hunnabee - any but mostly they/them/it/its (they/it/any)

Sprinklepede - she/her/it

Yellow Peelbug - she/her

(Big) Bopsicle - he/him

Rainbow Sweetiefly - she/her

Nutty Snakpod - any

Frosted Peak

Banopper - he/him

Scoopy - she/her

Cheery - any (genderfluid)

Scoopy Banoopy - she/her

Aggroll - she/it

Chippie - she/her

Chillynilly - he/him

MT Sodie - he/him

Flutterjam - she/they

Stewdler - he/him

Instabug - she/her

Melty Snakpod - any

Baby Cakelegs - she/her

Daddy Cakelegs - he/him

Broken Tooth

Royale Bunger - they/it/cheese

Cheddorb - he/it

Millimochi - any (genderfluid)

Spaghider - it/they

Clawbsteroni -they/mac/cheese/it

Tikkada Masala - she/any

Pielobite - they/them

Chocolant - he/him (girl but prefers he/him)

Cellystix - she/her (butch)

Delivers Eggler - he/she/they (agender)

Cheddarboardle Rex - they/them

other (triplicate space/undersnax(?????))

Cappuceetle - he/they (demiboy)

Snaxsquatch - any, they actually don’t care lol

#this was from a fun discord conversation (featuring blair and frankie)#(thanks for being part of this fun conversation)#also long headcanons list ahead scroll if lazy to read it lol #also putting greater and lesser as the fizzlebeans bc yes #i put megamaki as a she/her trans mtf bc she’s so trans to me #also all snakpods uses any. they do not care like snaxsquatch lol #headcanons #bugsnax #bugsnax spoilers #?

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lov3islikeastar · 28 days ago

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#there's healing in November!!#been repeating it like a mantra #idk maybe because I'm still learning to be around people but in some way I feel a bit closer #instead of being quiet and reserved like I usually am I decided to initiate in talking with my new coworker at work #because I feel I wasn't doing my part in being open? friendly? and I needed to try at least #it was last week or the week before when I finally did #and it went great!! (:#he was reserved too unless spoken to at times lol #he was fun to talk with and we had a few interests in common #it was pretty nice and I'm just happy it was a good convo #and just a few days but I saw an old coworker who used to work at the library when I was walking to campus #I wouldn't have turned around if he didnt roll down his window and said something he used to say before 😭#it was brief but monumental to me and just made my day honeslty #and the same day there was this guy who I would sometimes see whenever I was walking around on campus and would struck up a conversation #with me #at first it was strange because he would speak as if we were friends but after encountering each other and talking a bit it was easy to #talk with him #in fact after that last convo I now wish to be his friend lmaoo💀#I cant help but feel the moment of when I'll look back as I'm looking back at these conversations and memories #i think I'm just grateful? thankful to have made it this far...#yes I'm going through #there's so much to look forward to and to keep going!! (':

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yongseungkim · 9 months ago

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#its been great like not being as interested in social media #but unfortunately for me that means a lot of the anxieties that came with social media have like #infiltrated real life in very real ways and its scary and i dont like it #i dont like thinking like this #these ppl are too precious to me #i try not to act on it but man are the thoughts the exact same no matter what social thing im a part of #like ive never felt truly included in online spaces or just feeling unpopular or like whatever #kinda the odd one out #and even irl it feels that way #the thing is i have good people and good friends in my life #like i know theyre not the problem #its just me and my thoughts that havent literally changed forever and like now its annoying #bc i care about these people and maybe selfishly wanna keep them in my life (?)#although based on my interactions and conversations w them it feels the same for them too yaknow like reciprocated #but i feel like these days my thoughts have really just been making me not the most fun person to be around sometimes #im not acting on them fully but like maybe slightly (?)#the closer i personally feel to people the more hurt i unintentionally get #i have such unrealistic expectations sometimes it feels #and i feel like my few attempts at trying to get closer with certain ppl one on one hasnt always went down well and like #this has to be a two way thing so i cant really blame em but it also hurts idk :(#i just feel like im always doing something wrong bc ppl never seem to like me as much as i like them ?#idk i think its the superficial things too at the end of the day that bother me more than they should #i feel like i wouldnt be missed like i have to always do the reaching out whos reaching out to me :(#there are ppl that do though and im so thankful to them but things like idk #feel like ic ould shut my phone off for a week and not see anyone and just hear from no one #which is fine i guess but it makes me feel very invisible #its been strange i have feelings im trying to reconcile but not sure how to #socializing is so hard so so so hard ive just been almost confused to a frozen amount #and its been harder these days cuz the rose tinted glasses are off like my friends do re energize me yes but i feel a lot of anxiety too #rambles

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writers-potion · 3 months ago

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Writing Character Accents in Fiction

Hey there, thanks for the question! I speak English as a second language; most English speakers I encounter aren’t native (yes, including fictional people); thus, this is a concern I’ve explored personally when I write.

I think the core principle regarding accent writing is this: it shouldn’t be distracting.

For the same reasons why Stephen King prescribes the basic dialogue tag “said” rather than fancier alternatives like “whispered”, “shouted” or “screeched”, dialogue must be first and foremost easy to read. It must flow like a real conversation – the pace and tone are a lot more important than how specific words are being pronounced by the character.

Focus on what effect the accent has:

Using adjectives to describe their voice in general. Different types of English (American, British, Australian, etc.) will give off a different vibe, also partly dependent on how your character speaks in general:

Lilting: Having a smooth rise and falling quality; sing-song like. Welsh accent is often described as singing.

Posh: from a high social class. This is the term generally used to describe the upper-class British accent.

Nasal: this happens when the sound goes through somebody’s nose when they’re speaking. North American accents are more nasal than, say, British pronunciations.

Brash: harsh, loud, indicative of sounding a little rude.

Slur: speaking indistinctly; words merging into one another.

Using metaphors.

Her voice was cotton and fluffy clouds.

When he spoke, the ‘r’s scratched the insides of his throat.

Mentioning their accent with a brief example(s).

“Would you like to drink some wine?” she said, though her Indian accent gave extra vibration to her ‘w’s and ‘r’s, making the words sound more like ‘vould you like to drrrink some vine’.

“I want some chocolate.” His syllables were choppy and ‘l’s rather flat, saying ‘cho-ko-lit’.

Some Tips:

Don’t phonically spell out everything. Perhaps give a few examples in the beginning, but stick to standard English spellings.

Pay attention to word choice, slang, and colloquialisms.

An Australian person would say “tram”, not “trolley; “runners” instead of “sneakers”

A Canadian may refer to a “fire hall” – what Americans call a firehouse or fire station

If your character comes from a non-Enligsh background:

Use vocabulary from other languages.

“What time was the exam, ah? Two o’clock? Jiayou!” → putting “ah” or “la” at the end of sentences + Jiayou means “break a leg” in Singlish.

“I can’t believe that 4-year-olds have their own SNS accounts now.” → “SNS” is short for “social networking service”, a term used to refer to social media in Korea. This would a subtle difference – even though it isn’t technically Korean at all!

Transpose grammar from different languages.

For example, in French, plural nouns take plural adjectives (whereas in English, you would speak of ‘white cars’, not ‘whites cars’).

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chuluoyi · 1 year ago

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✎ wife

- gojo satoru x reader

in which the new batch of first years are unaware that their eccentric teacher's wife is the pretty woman roaming the school grounds

genre: fluff, crack, gojo being a silly little menace as always, yuji and nobara are confused, an attempt at humor, lovesick gojo, mention of breastfeeding

note: it’s so silly but i had fun writing this! based on a request by anon (thank you!) but i tweaked it a bit and partly inspired by this fanart. reader is also a teacher at jujutsu high and has a baby with gojo—loosely a continuation of protect

a part of gojo's love entries

general masterlist

"Take that off immediately!"

"Kyaaah~! Yuji is here, you pervert!"

Yuji was a laughing mess. Megumi and Nobara collectively sighed. Nanami attempted to retrieve his once-immaculate suit, now a crumpled mess, from the one and only Gojo Satoru, who found humor in stealing his signature attire and impersonating the stern-faced Nanami in front of his fresh batch of first years.

"He is incorrigible," Nobara grumbled, her eyes slitting. They said that he was a strong sorcerer, possibly the strongest there was, but she found it really hard to believe.

Megumi threw her a deadpan stare. With many years of putting up with this kind of antics under his belt, he pitied her for not knowing that this was far from the worst. "Yeah, he is."

"How does anyone ever put up with him?"

That was actually a good question. "We don't..." Megumi paused, recalling each and every occasion where he tried to do so. "His wife is probably the only one who can."

Nobara sputtered, spinning towards him. "What the—wife? That annoying man has an actual, living, breathing wife?"

"Who? Gojo-sensei?" Yuji chimed in, jumping into the conversation, leaving the supposedly two adults in their catfight. Nanami was still clawing to get his suit back, and Gojo continued to giggle and evade him, playfully running away.

Nobara scoffed. "I bet the woman just married him for the money. He comes from prestigious clan, yes? That must be it."

Yuji felt his eyes would pop out of its sockets. "What are you talking about, Kugisaki!? What woman—"

"Shut up, Itadori! Don't be too loud!"

Nobara and Yuji's unharmonious ruckus irritated Megumi to the bone, and he decided that the best course of action now was to leave them all in the dust. With a glare and a shake of his head, he stalked away.

And thus the two new first years were left with half-truths that would lead them into a major misadventure later that day—

—which happened when they spotted Nanami with you, whom they were still unfamiliar with.

They were convinced that Gojo’s wife must be some sort of boring tramp eyeing his wealth and not this positively radiant, mature woman, and so ruling that possibility out, they positively swooned at the sight before them.

"He's irresponsible, egotistical—" snippets of Nanami's frustrated words conveyed enough to paint a picture of Gojo's character. He was definitely ranting about Gojo to you.

"Is that Nanamin's wife?" Yuji mused, a hint of pink tinting his cheeks. "She is so pretty..."

"They... look cute together," Nobara hummed with dreamy eyes, and then looked at Yuji sharply. "And yes, she's indeed pretty, but know your place, Itadori!"

"I know!"

Based on how the two of you interacted, they concluded that you must have been close, with the way Nanami visibly relaxed around you, and not as formal as he was with anyone else. They highly suspected that the two of you were married, as you wore a ring, which was the ultimate sign.

"And how's the baby?" Nanami asked then, directing the question to you with a smile on his face, prompting surprised gasps from both Yuji and Nobara.

You were glowing, to say the least, and when you let out a small giggle at his question, even both students couldn't miss the way your expression exuded pure happiness. "He is well. Ah, I really wanted to bring him along too, but he was a little messy after eating so I left him at home. You can see him later…"

Yuji gaped. "So it's true..."

"Oh my gosh... and they have a baby." Nobara almost squealed.

And that sealed it. The headline of the day: Nanami is married to this stunning woman wandering the school grounds.

So imagine their utter shock when the second time they found you, you were with Gojo, and he was shamelessly snogging you in the hallway.

“Why are you here?” Gojo was breathless after the soul-sucking kiss he smothered you. His tone remained playful yet carried a clear undertone of concern. "You're still on maternity leave. I'll make sure Yaga knows that."

“Satoru,” you whined, and the use of his given name made Yuji and Nobara gasp in disbelief. “I’m perfectly okay and I don’t need to breastfeed anymore. I should start getting back to work.”

Nobara seemed to finally understand the implication. But Yuji didn’t. His mind flitting from one scandalous idea to another—

Gojo-sensei seducing Nanamin’s wife? Nanamin’s wife cheating on him with Gojo-sensei?

In the brief period he spent with Gojo, Yuji realized that he didn't exactly have a reputation for decency. So despite himself, he could only muster up this one word: “Homewrecker. Homewrecker!”

Yuji’s shriek took all three of you by surprise, and now both you and Gojo were aware of his presence.

“You absolute idiot,” Nobara hissed, face-palming.

“Oh, Yuji? Nobara?” Gojo genially asked, his concern towards you quickly dissolved into a meaningful smirk on his face. “And what do you mean by—?”

Yuji yelped. “You! You are! You’re trying to seduce Nanamin’s wife!”

Silence. Gojo’s eyes twitched beyond his blindfold. You blinked. Nobara wanted to save herself from the second-hand embarrassment. And his loud voice caught the attention of Megumi too, who was close by.

“You seem to be mistaken. First of all, Nanami isn’t married,” Gojo said with a strained voice, maintaining his smile. He then gestured at you, showing you off with pride. “And this here, is my wife.”

“Y-your wife?!” Yuji exclaimed, pointing an accusing finger. “H-how?! I saw her with Nanamin! Talking about a baby—”

“That would be my baby.”

“But how?!”

“Yuji, do you want me to give you a crash course in baby-making—”

“Satoru!”

You sent him a glare and turned to the young first years with a smile. "You must be the new first years? I’m Y/N, and I’m in charge of the second years.” You gestured towards your husband. “And please, ignore most things he says. He’s a bit crass, and if you ever feel he's harassed you, don't hesitate to report it to me."

“Wifey! How could you!”

“Shut up, Satoru! You’re embarrassing yourself!”

“What are you doing here?” Megumi inquired with a deep frown, getting between Yuji and Nobara as they stared at Gojo in total bewilderment.

Yuji exclaimed in disbelief, pointing at you. “Fushiguro! Gojo-sensei’s wife is a beauty!”

“…I know that already.”

Nobara whipped her head towards him. "You knew?! Since when?!"

“They… took me in.”

“THEY WHAT?!”

Gojo grinned at their chorus of surprise. “And what a fine boy he turns out to be, eh?”

Megumi scowled, but Gojo wasn’t bothered at all. If anything, what offended him was—

"What makes you think my dear wife here belongs to Nanami instead of me?" he joked with a mock scoff, earning an eye roll from you.

Nobara and Yuji blurted out their thoughts simultaneously.

“They look good together?”

“Nanamin is dependable?”

Gojo gasped dramatically, one hand flying to his mouth. "So, not only do I not look good with her, but I also don't seem dependable enough?" He turned to you with the most aghast expression. “Tell me that isn’t true—”

You shot him a withering look, deadpanning, “Actually, you might be.”

And Gojo clutched his chest, letting out an anguished cry.

Epilogue

“Satoru… come on, you know I was joking.”

Your dramatic ass of a husband had his head on your lap, hugging your torso tight. The pout on his face hadn’t faded a bit ever since he was done with his class, and now on your marital bed, he was clinging to you with all of his might.

He shook his head petulantly, clicking his tongue. “You’ve embarrassed me in front of my students. You’re so mean!”

You sighed. “I’m sure you have made a fool out of yourself far often. This is insignificant.”

“Hmph! How could you say that?! I don't care if it's me, but I can't believe that it's coming from you! I shower you with my undivided love each and every day!”

“Yeah, yeah…”

Somehow seeing him like this made your heart lurch. He reminded you so much of your baby boy who was sleeping right in the next room that you couldn't resist smiling and pinching his cheeks.

“Okay, okay. My husband is handsome, looks good with me and definitely someone I can rely on,” you relented, and like a lightbulb going off, Satoru suddenly beamed so wide that you were certain his cheeks hurt.

“That’s more like it! Now, now, there’s only one way that can prove how responsible I am! Let me just fill you up with another baby—”

You smacked him on the head.

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madfoxx · 1 year ago

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Yesss!

Its so frustrating that after 6000 years Crowley finally opens up and they still manage to misunderstand each other completely. Although I have to say I don’t think its just miscommunication. Yes Aziraphale loves Crowley and only wants the best for him, and he thinks that Crowley would be happier in heaven, because why wouldn’t he be? But that doesnt change the fact that Aziraphale chooses to leave Crowley behind in the end and I think he has multiple reasons for this

Firstly, to him it must feel like his relationship with Crowley just got irreparably damaged by their argument. After all, Crowley leaves him first and in Aziraphales mind he was only trying to do what was best for them both.

Secondly, Aziraphale is an idealist and he genuinely believes that he can make things better - and isn’t that his angelic purpose? He can finally help people, just like he always wanted to.

The third and most important reason though, is that he is absolutely terrified by the intensity of his and Crowleys relationship and has been since the moment they met. This is the guys who said “you go to fast for me Crowley” after they’d already known each other for almost 6000 years, during which the line between acquaintance, colleague, partner, friend and lover had already gotten very very blurry. But as long as it remained unspoken it was okay. Feeling those things was barely acceptable but to say it out loud was beyond comprehension. His expression after Crowley kisses him is full of longing (the fucking hands omg), but its mainly shock and fear because suddenly the pretense is dropped. Now they can’t go back to their safe and familiar routine, and that horrifies him so much, that the only thing he can do is revert to old patterns and tell Crowley he “forgives” him. And I guess there are many reasons why Aziraphale is so scared by his feelings for Crowley, but the biggest one is still the fact that they are angel and demon (“hereditary enemies”). He just can’t shake off his catholic guilt. Not because he doesn’t love Crowley, or because he thinks Crowley as an individual is evil and corrupted, but because he was brainwashed into thinking that their respective labels make any relationship between them forbidden and dangerous. And if only Crowley could be an angel again (as he deserves, because he is a good person despite his label) all would be well, because their love for each other would no longer be a taboo. They could be together forever without fear of judgement, without shame and Crowley would get the recognition he deserves and he’d be happy. Its incredibly naive and it drives me insane, because its obvious that his fear is the only thing keeping really them apart at this point. And for Crowley on the other hand this must feel like conversion therapy. He just confessed his feelings for the one person in the universe he trusts completely and thinks Aziraphales reaction translates to “our love is wrong and you must change into something more socially acceptable and please the very people who punished you for just existing, or else you are not worthy of affection.” And thats not a completely illogical interpretation, but its also still very much not what Aziraphale was trying to say.

I mean ultimately the time apart might be good for them, because Crowley needs to figure out who he is without Aziraphale and Aziraphale really needs to get over his fears, which seems to entail going back to heaven and looking behind the curtain to face god. But still. It sucks and its sad and frustrating and has me clawing at the wallpaper.

The thing is, I don't think Aziraphale thinks of it as changing Crowley at all. To him, Pre-Fall Crowley and Demon Crowley are the same person, kind and fun and sweet and cool and equally beloved. So to him, there should be no difference whether Crowley is here on Earth or up in Heaven with him, he'll still just be Crowley, and at least this way they would be safe and protected.

All the while Crowley sees it as Aziraphale's long-term love and acceptance being conditional (like God's that was already ripped away), that Aziraphale has just been slumming it with him being a demon bc there wasn't anything they could do about it, and that he's jumping at the chance to fundamentally change Crowley the first chance he gets.

#this got much longer than i wanted it to be #i was on tumblr in the olden days and fondly remember this type of conversation via reblogs #i used to love it but then i disappeard for a while and when i came back it seemed that the etiquette had changed #reblogs with added stuff have become uncommon #people put their thoughts in the tags because its less invasive #and i get it - its a nice way of adding to a post without stealing attention #but i also miss this type of conversation especially when something big happens in a fandom and you just want to scream about it together #its fun and part of the reason i love being on tumblr with so many likeminded people #anyways #thanks for this #made me happy today #good omens #good omens spoilers #gos2 #gos2 spoilers

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reidrum · 6 months ago

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wine or wine not | s.r

spencer reid x bau!reader

a/n: i think i love writing buildup to smut than actual smut, but i hope you guys like this lmk what you think. this was requested with the prompts "look at me when you come on my fingers" and "muttering compliments kissing down their body" and it was so much fun to write aaaaahh, my requests are open so please send more!!! guidelines in pinned <3

summary: you're hopelessly pining after spencer at a rossi party, and when you run into him in the kitchen when you're getting a refill and he asks if you want to explore the mansion with him, who are you to say no?

cw: 18+ minors dni pls, fingering, p in v, nipple play, soft!dom!spence, spencer being ridiculously hot its criminal, ooc penelope but it was for the plot, pining idiots, wine cellar sex wine cellar sex wine cellar sex, public sex, morgan and prentiss being dumb, rossi being a smug lil shit, a dumb ass title sorry i didn't know what else to name it lol

wc: 4.1k

★・・・・★・・・・★・・・・★・・・・★

these days rossi was always finding some reason to throw a party at his mansion. you’re not exactly sure what it was tonight, a birthday? an anniversary? regardless, you and the team appreciated the excuse to unwind, dress up, and have non murder related fun.

the sun is setting over the rolling hills the mansion is perched on, and you’re sat at a table with the girls— penelope, jj, and emily discussing penelope’s latest dating escapade. you’re trying hard to pay attention, you really are, but it proves to be difficult when you’re focused on the man showing magic tricks to the kids across the room.

you look on yearnfully as spencer pulls a coin from jack’s ear, all the kids are laughing and cheering and he has the biggest smile you’ve ever seen.

“hellooo?” penelope waves a hand in front of you dramatically, “i’m getting to the good part and you’re off in space!”

you jolt back to the present, “sorry pen, i’m listening i promise. so he shows up to your door with maple syrup and feathers?”

“YES, anyways so then he’s like i have a proposition for you…” penelope continues her story but you can’t help but zone out again. your eyes drift back to boy genius as he finishes another trick for little henry before rising up to his full height. it’s in that moment his eyes meet yours and softens as he offers you a small wave.

you return the gesture back which causes the girls at your table to look in the same direction and they come to a glaring conclusion too quickly.

“ah, that’s why you’re not paying attention. too busy ogling mr. houdini over there.” jj remarks.

“i am not!” you scoff.

“oh you so are,” emily says, “when are you going to let yourself feel your heart’s full content.”

“first of all, i can’t stand you. second of all, it’s not worth it. he would never feel the same about me.” you say as emily rolls her eyes.

this time penelope interjected, “oh don’t be so cynical. you haven’t even tried how could you even know?”

but you did know. it’s not that spencer didn’t like you, he treated you the same as any team member, but that was just it. you wanted him to see you as more. during cases you would try to impress him or make breakthroughs in the hopes he would tell you ‘good job’. a couple times you brought him coffee when you got yours, just to hear him say your name and thanks. work conversations rarely seemed to move past small talk, but you’re a little sure that’s on your part because he just made you so nervous. and like, he’s a profiler. so you’re sure to some degree he knows how you feel, and it just makes you regress into your safe hole even further because you think he’s being nice by not acknowledging it and saving you the embarrassment.

the girls knew about your harbored crush for a month now, since the last bau drinks night you got a little too truthful during truth or dare. you were much younger in comparison to your colleagues, so they offered their sympathies at your unrequited love and tried to get you to come out more and let loose.

which is one of the reasons you’re sitting in rossi’s living room, wine glass in hand, as morgan recounts the craziest date hes ever been on. the other reason, which you wouldn’t admit to anyone, was so you could admire your (not) lover from an acceptable distance and not risk embarrassing yourself.

so here you are, two glasses deep, rising up from your spot on the floor telling everyone you’re going to get a refill. your heels click against the hardwood floors all the way to the kitchen where you just so luckily run into the (your) man of the hour.

“hi.”

you were looking down at your feet as you walked to the kitchen, your head snapping up to meet the voice, “hi spencer.” you said softly.

“if you’re looking for more wine, i think emily just grabbed the last bottle,” you must have outwardly deflated as he continued, “that bad out there?”

“only so much wine can get me through penelope’s sexcapades and derek’s crazy one night stands.” you joke.

he chuckles back, “oh i know, why do you think i’m hiding out in here?”

you laugh again before an uncomfortable yet strangely comfortable silence falls between you both. unknowingly you both take turns gazing at each other, indexing the others features as if this moment would be the only chance you got.

you’re about to take your loss and leave when spencer speaks up again, “you know, i wouldn’t put it past rossi to have a secret wine cellar somewhere.”

“honestly, you’re probably right. what kind of italian just runs out of wine.”

spencer pauses slightly before saying, “do you want to see if we can find it?”

you look at his eyes again and catch a glint of mischief? concern that you’re wine-less? whatever it is, you take the bait.

“i’m game.”

—

rossi’s mansion was humongous. it was well known that he was loaded from his years in the bureau and multiple book deals, but holy shit, the rooms just seemed never ending, and none of them were a wine cellar.

“i don’t know spence, i'm starting to lose hope, and debating to revoke rossi’s italian card.”

you’re both in one of the many studies and are about to leave to find another room, when spencer notices a smaller door next to the study. he slowly opens it and peaks inside to find a descending wooden staircase. he looks at you with a smirk, “i think we just found it.”

he holds the door open and gestures you to enter first, following shortly behind you as he shuts the door. he makes sure to check that it’ll still open even after it’s shut, and you both relax a little seeing it still unlock. you move down the stairs, gripping the handrail and praying you don’t trip over your heels and fall to an embarrassing demise.

spencer descends a step behind you, trying so hard not to let his eyes wander down your bare back to the curve of your hips. once he steps off you both go in opposite directions to explore. you take in the vast amount of shelves and wine racks, taking note of how it seems to be separated by year and by type. running your fingers over the labels, you’re intrigued by a shelf with the year you were born, and pause in front of it. you reach up to a shelf that is just a smidge taller than you, hoping to grab the neck of an old wine bottle.

even in your heels you’re struggling, attempting little hops to try and reach. you’re about to give up when you feel a warm hand on your right hip, while an outstretched arm on your left seamlessly grabs the bottle and brings it down to you, “careful sweetheart, don’t wanna break that pretty head of yours.” spencer says lowly.

excuse me, what the fuck did he just say.

you inspect the bottle he so kindly brought down for you, but it’s a futile effort. you can’t even remember why you wanted to see it. all you can think about is your hands clamming up, sending threats to the wine bottle it’s holding. your mind is fogging up fast, and you’re trying to order your brain to say something instead of going mute while he’s still an inch behind you. with his hand on your hip still.

“oh god,” you start shakily, “you scared me spence.” you angle your body to the left so you can attempt to show how unbothered you are and look at his face.

good save (not).

he’s staring down at you with a hint of a smirk on his lips, like he’s keeping a secret from you. his eyes are intently focused on you when he speaks again, “just didn’t want you to get hurt. s’all.”

with his close proximity, you’re sure he can hear your heart beating through both of your chests, hell it was so loud they could probably hear it upstairs. he’s still got you caged in front of him when he continues, “any particular reason for this bottle?”

“yeah no, i just, wanted to see what bottles of wine he had from the year i was born.” you answer, watching as spencer moves back to give you space when you turn to face him.

he nods, “did you know that wine is associated with the greek god dionysus?”

“no i didn’t, actually.”

“it’s really interesting,” he moves forward a tiny inch, “they call him the patron god of wine, but a lot of people often forget that he’s also the god of fertility and ecstasy.”

oh. “ecstasy?” you whisper confusingly.

“yes, he believes when you drink wine it gives you emotional and physical pleasure.”

“how does that even work?” you nervously laugh.

spencer reaches his arm above your head, never breaking eye contact, and grabs two wine glasses by their stems, “you wanna find out?”

with only so many words, you give another nod. he uncorks the bottle with ease and pours out two glasses, with his having a little less than yours, most likely due to his slow but steady return to drinking casually. clinking your glasses, you take a big gulp hoping it’ll satiate the building nerves. but you’re watching the way his fingers wrap around the glass, his veiny hand showing prominently and you’re unable to focus on anything else.

“you know, i’ve been running something of an observation the last few months.”

you take another small sip, starting to feel less nervous, “oh yeah, what about?”

“you.”

it took everything in you not to spit your drink out all over his suit.

“me?”

he nods after another sip, “i’ve been watching you, and not in a creepy way i swear. but i’ve been keeping track of your habits; how you take your coffee, your tells when a case gets too much, things like that,”

that didn’t seem overtly terrible to you, you knew spencer was an observer of his environment, always seeking out patterns to aid his predictions. you’re about to speak when he cuts you off.

“i’ve also been noticing how you seem to change, when i’m in your presence.”

you feel like the sweat and nerves are just oozing out of you at this point, and he continues his verbal taunt.

“i’ve seen your breathing rate get faster,” he moves a step forward, “how your cheeks rise with the faintest red, kind of like right now,” another step forward, “and how you try to avoid looking directly at me because you think i’ll find out everything if you do.”

the room has to be at least a thousand degrees at this point, heart beating so fast it’s probably gone to the moon, and your brain just unable to have any coherent thoughts at the realization that maybe you weren’t as subtle as you thought.

he takes one final step to close the gap between you and delicately places two fingers on the pulse point of your neck, “i couldn’t figure out your heart rate from afar,” he pauses to count, “but now that i know it, i can come to my conclusion.”

the air in your lungs has all but escaped, nowhere to be found. “and wh- what is your conclusion d- doctor reid?” your voice betraying you by dripping with anticipation.

“that i make you nervous. do you agree? do i make you nervous?” he says while you feel the hot breath of his whispers ghosting on your lips.

your mouth opens to say something and then shuts, because what the hell are you supposed to say? any and all logic has left the room, but the last working neuron works to make an unthinkable conclusion of your own. there is no way.

spencer moves his fingers to grip your chin between them, guiding your face to look directly into his copper eyes, “i asked you a question angel, do i make you nervous?”

you’re cornered, “y- yes.”

“why’s that?”

“spencer..”

“is it because you’re thinking of me the same way i think i about you?” his thumb starts tracing the outline of your lower jaw. he’s pressed right up against your chest, his other arm covertly moving to snake around your waist. the way you lean in subconsciously towards him, paired with your silence is all the confirmation he needs.

the pad of his thumb traces your lower lip, dragging it downwards a little. there’s a hitch in his breath when his eyes flicker from your lips back up to meet your eyes again. he quietly mumbles, “can i?”

your eyes widen slightly, relishing in the way his arms are holding you firm and steady. this was about to really happen. you’d been pining after him all this time, believing you were destined for unrequited love. but as spencer stands in front of you, looking at you as if he’d been poisoned and the only antidote is your lips, you can’t help but wonder if there’s been a similar weight on his side that’s been holding him back too.

so you nod once again, and trust your voice this time,

“yes.”

you’re fully expecting him to go into it full force, and kiss you like a man starved. but he lets the premonition bubble for a little longer as he so agonizingly leans down and closes the gap, teasing you with the ghost of his lips on yours without making contact. he waits a moment, and just as he predicted your subconscious betrays you again and you impatiently lean up in an attempt to meet your lips together. spencer can’t help but smile before he softly pressed himself against you.

the feeling of his mouth on yours is something you can only describe as cosmic, like a star exploding into a supernova, emitting a powerful and luminous show of energy. it’s all consuming, the light reaching every neuronal end of your body and electrifying it ten times over. your hands reach up to tangle in his curly hair and he lets out the faintest whimper, spurring you on to grab it more earnestly.

spencer loses all restraint. his hands begin furiously mapping out your body, running up and down your back, reaching down to grasp a handful of your ass. he moves his hands down further to grip your thighs, effortlessly lifting you to sit on the counter behind you. spencer slots himself between your legs and continues kissing you, his mouth marking a hot trail to your neck as he mutters between, “is this okay?”

“please don’t stop.” you moan softly.

his fingers move to deftly slide the straps of your dress off your shoulder, mirroring the movement on the other side while continuing to work his down your neck. he slides the dress far enough down to expose your chest, immediately taking the swollen nub into mouth and running circles around it with his tongue. you let out a sharp gasp at the sudden warmth, whimpers leaving your throat. he repeats the motion to the other one as you cradle his head closer in an attempt to keep him there, as if spencer had any plans of leaving.

he moves his mouth back up to meet yours again, in a lust filled attack sending shock waves straight to your core. you move your fingers to work the buttons of his dress shirt and spencer moves his hand further south and under the hem of your dress, something you don’t notice until his thumbs are rubbing circles onto the plush of your inner thighs. it makes you falter on his last button as he pushes your legs farther apart, inches closer to where you desperately need him.

spencer looks directly into your eyes as his thumbs reach up to hook onto the side of your panties and slowly move them down your legs. he groans outwardly at the resistance caused by your slickness, “all this for me, baby?”

you’re rendered speechless watching spencer and his ministrations but he continues, “you are so goddamn beautiful, you know that?” his fingers are less than an inch away from your cunt, “i see you walk around the office in those tight pants, your hair and makeup all done, and those blouses jesus,” he reaches your entrance and dives in to collect your wetness, you brokenly moan as he begins to spread it all over. “couldn’t tell if you hated me for the longest time.”

“c- could never hate you.” you whine.

“i know baby,” he slides his middle finger into your hole, “just imagine the fun we could’ve had if we figured this out earlier. but it’s okay, we have all the time now.” he sets a steady rhythm before inserting his ring finger, actively working you towards a barreling orgasm.

“spencer, fuck, oh god.”

“you’re so fucking wet, bet you’re gonna come soon, right? gonna make a mess on my hand?” he baited.

you’re in shambles, one hand deathly squeezing onto one shoulder the other turning white from the grip you held on the counter. the moans won’t stop falling out of you, he works his fingers so skillfully within you it’s impossible to hold any resolve when he curves upwards and hits that spot.

your head tilts back, reeling from the intense pressure coil building inside you, the peak about to hit you any moment now. spencer uses his free hand to move your head back down, “look at me when you come on my fingers.”

that was all it took for the white hot to ravage through you, engulfing every sense and leaving you breathless. he continues moving his fingers through your orgasm, watching as you come back down to him. you don’t waste a second reaching for his belt to unfasten it, slipping your hand down to palm him through his boxers. he moans in your ear as he feels you slip inside, your small hand moving up and down, and getting impossibly harder when you take your hand back up to spit on it to then return to your movements.

you take the moment to lean into his neck and leave bites of your own, finding his sweet spot right behind his ear and sucking hard. spencer’s hands have taken a spot on your lower back beneath your dress, pressing so hard with his fingertips you know there’ll be evidence of this night tomorrow.

“spence..” you mutter in the crook in the neck.

“yeah baby?” he whispers back.

“can you fuck me now?”

he preens at your boldness, and wastes no time pulling his pants and boxers down enough to fully free himself. he pulls you closer to the edge of the counter before pulling his length out and giving it a few strokes. he lets it glide between your folds, gathering your wetness as lubricant as it hits your clit. both of you are panting hard realizing the anticipation has led to this moment. spencer positions himself at your entrance, never breaking eye contact with you, and watches your face drop into a perfect ‘oh’ as he pushes in.

spencer is absolutely wrecked as he hears your breathing pick up, reveling in the vice grip your cunt has on him. you’re no better above him as you’ve broken eye contact to stare at where the two of you connect, watching as he disappears into you and the feeling of being so full overtakes you and you’re letting out soft expletives. he bottoms out and stalls for a minute, waiting for you to signal that you’re okay for him to move. in the time he’s waiting, he takes a moment to really look at your face, how absolutely ruined you look, your cheeks are deeply flushed, hair flying in every direction, and he can’t help but tell you, “you look so pretty.”

your eyes soften as you gaze back at him and nod slightly, and he pulls back all the way to ease in again experimentally. once he hears you moan out loud at the movement, and feels you tighten even more around his cock, he loses any and all restraint he’d been holding onto this entire night.

his hips pick up the pace in harsh snaps to your core, sending ripples of pleasure all over you. your arms are wrapped around his neck attempting to pull him impossibly closer to you, “spencer…fuck…” you drawl with a whine.

“i got you baby, gonna take good care of you, promise,” he says back in between grunts. the sentiment causes you to squeeze on his cock again as he attempts to continue, “if you keep…fuck…keep squeezing me like that i’m n- not gonna last long.”

one hand in his hair and the other leaving dark red scratches on his back, you feel your second orgasm of the night hastily creep up on you. he can tell you’re close and quickens his pace as he thumbs your clit. you moan his name out once more before reaching your peak, feeling like your body is on fire as he continues to fuck you through it.

spencer feels his own release building up, “wh- where should i..?”

“inside, i’m on the pill just please come inside me.”

it was more than enough for spencer’s movements to stutter as he released his hot load in you, groaning out loud as he finished.

he slows to a half, still hilted inside of you but softening post orgasm. you’re both breathing heavily as you look up at each other and take in the other’s fucked out faces. spencer presses a chaste kiss to your forehead before resting his own on it, “that was..”

“intense,” he quirks his eyebrows at you, “in a really really good way.” you add quickly.

he smiles down at you, “i wasn’t kidding, what i said earlier. i think about you an embarrassingly high amount each day. i’d love to take you out and make this a real thing.”

“yeah?” you gape incredulously, “thought i was the one embarrassing myself if you were able to notice all those things i did when you were near me.”

he laughs, “no, no it was endearing, definitely made it easier to be as forward as i was tonight knowing you wouldn’t freak out.”

you’re about to respond when you hear the door to the cellar open, you’re both hidden from view but know it’s only a matter of seconds before someone catches you. you both look at each other in panic as spencer pulls out of you, tucking himself back in and zipping up his pants. you grab your panties from the floor and begin to pull them up your legs when he notices his come dripping down your thighs. he swiftly gathers the release on his fingers and shoves it back inside you, causing you to let out a near pornographic moan as he pulls up your underwear all the way.

“did you guys hear that?” a voice sounding like emily said.

“see this is why i don’t do big houses like this, too many creepy ass noises.” morgan.

“mansion,” rossi corrects, “and for a couple of profilers, you both are stupid if you don’t know what that sound was.”

your eyes widen to match spencer’s, you’ve been caught.

“was it a mouse or something?”

“no more like, bunnies,” he joked with an innuendo, “come on, i found the bottle i was looking for, let the bunnies do their thing so they can leave and go home to do whatever it is bunnies do.”

“you’re a weird old man david…” emily muttered.

the door closes and you both let out a big breath, and burst into a fit of laughter, “how the hell are we gonna show our faces to him on monday?” you whine.

“that is a monday us problem,” he starts, “but right now, i think it’s time for me to take you home.” he winks.

two stuffed bunnies show up on yours and spencer’s desk on monday. you’re both redder than a tomato as rossi chuckles when he walks by. prentiss and morgan are still confused.

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