#(teleports behind you) nothing personnel kid

[age-of-moonknight]

“New Moon,” Moon Knight: Fist of Khonshu (Vol. 2/2024), #1.

Writer: Jed MacKay; Penciler and Inker: Alessandro Cappuccio; Colorist: Rachelle Rosenberg; Letterer: Cory Petit

[sendingstone]

warp ragnarok

[icangiveyouanything]

So this guy apparently had the ability to change his height, seemingly at will. Interesting.

Shade scratched at his beard as he observed Jason and his bragging, the wheels turning in his head. Really there was a point at which Jason might've wanted to consider quitting while he was ahead, because Shade was getting ideas. The larger he got the more he was developing a desire to knock that smug look off of his face.

Although he was still shorter than the entity at this point, he at least was now the size of a full grown person from Shade's perspective, appearing a couple inches over five feet. But he didn't have to be the size of a toy or even be smaller than Shade to be played with.

"You think you're quite clever, don't you?" he remarked, the corner of his mouth starting to curl into a smirk, "I do hope you're prepared for what you've gotten yourself into~"

All of a sudden, Shade seemed to disappear. In reality, he had teleported behind Jason, which became apparent when a grey hand was placed on his shoulder and he leaned in to speak right in his ear. If there was one thing Shade enjoyed doing, it was playing things up to intimidate people.

"You're a fool if you've intended to best me with but one trick up your sleeve."

"What?" Jason said, gesturing toward his chest with a facetious tone. "Oh, this? It was a growth spurt. It's been more of a burden, but it's actually proving useful right now."

Jason never thought he would find himself bragging about his curse, yet here he was. He couldn't quite fathom why he was feeling so snappy that evening, especially towards a being he had just met, who was currently towering over him. Clearly, Jason surmised, Shade was really not happy he was cheated out of a plaything. It might not have been the wisest choice to provoke a monster he knew little about, but perhaps Jason's annoyance with the entire night and his newfound taste of hubris had driven him to show off. “Here, allow me to meet you properly.” Jason spoke as he closed his eyes, allowing himself to think back to that morning where Natasha complimented him on his haircut. That little giddy made his heart leap in his chest.

Suddenly, his body shot up to a towering 54 meters in height, effectively eclipsing the road behind him. The abrupt increase in stature left him feeling dizzy, and he struggled to maintain his balance.

While he wasn’t exactly at Shade’s height, he still looked incredibly smug. Though, Jason couldn’t have known what Shade was actually capable of.

[dragons-hoard-of-fandoms]

(Murder Drones Episode 8 spoilers!)

Space. The final frontier.

Poor robo-roaches always getting tossed around and killed.

They just left Braiden and Rebecca's corpses there??

Honestly the Teacher is such a mood, I can't believe I never realized it before.

Solvedcalculus reference???

Nori you can't say that this is a Christian Minecraft server.

It's amazing how they're able to make her still convey emotions when she's only got one eye.

YES HE SAVED HER BUT ALSO WOW THAT WAS FAST

Well she did tell you to "Die Mad" about it, so...

Kiss. Kiss! KISS! KISS!! KISS!!! KISS!!!! KISS!!!!!

New cute date idea: Skydiving from space and burning up in the atmosphere together <3

THEY ARE DATING THEY ARE CANONICALLY DATING!!!!!!!!!!

Why no kiss tho :(

Dang it, that was Thad's only good pipe.

V IS ALIVE AND SHE RODE IN ON A SENTINEL I THOUGHT WE WERE JUST JOKING ABOUT THAT

AND IT HAS A LITTLE COWBOY HAT

SHE WAS LIZZY'S SECRET FRIEND AND SHE DID THAT ONE MEME

No!! Bad dingo!!! We do not eat our friends!!!

IT'S DOING THE WALL-E FIRE EXTINGUISHER THING

So did J know the whole time or was she kept in the dark at first and only recently found out? Not entirely clear on that.

You really think it's not gonna dispose of you once all the universe is dead?

V SAID BITE ME

I was fully expecting her to chuck N into the core for a second there. But TBH I don't think continuing to destroy the planet is gonna fix it.

THEY'RE SO CRINGE IN A COOL WAY I LOVE THESE STUPID DORKS

THE CAPTIONS SAY SOLVER CONFIRMED THAT IS NOT CYN

"Okey."

STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP

Y'know J thinks pretty highly of herself for someone who's literally never killed a single person on-screen in the entire time that this show has existed.

Huh, I guess those theories about Uzi not having a core icon were wrong.

You get a panic attack! You get a panic attack! EVERYBODY GETS A PANIC ATTACK!

Wait which part of this is the trap?

FREAKIN EXCUSE YOU DID YOU NOT HEAR WHAT I JUST TOLD NORI THIS IS A CHRISTIAN MINECRAFT SERVER THERE WILL BE NO SWEARING

Uzi is not beating the bisexual allegations.

SHE IS CANONICALLY CRINGE AND FREE

Nori I don't think most people call their daughters "babe."

"...'Kay."

Playing Nightcore during a final battle is the most anime thing ever.

And the J abuse continues.

*teleports behind you* Nothin personnel, kid.

Okay bye J, thanks for literally nothing.

SECRET HANDSHAKE N YOU'RE SUCH A DORK

o7

THEY'RE SO STUPID I LOVE THEM

YOU STOPPED TIME???

SHE LITERALLY ATE A BLACK HOLE???

😦

Thad is confirmed the coolest dude on Copper 9.

Sorry y'all, Khori divorce real.

Man Teacher don't wanna deal with none of this, same TBH.

Everybody gangsta til the cowboy robot dinosaurs start driving buses

THEY LOVE EACH OTHER SO MUCH!!!!!

Nah you're not damaged you're just autistic and edgy.

Polyclue shippers low-key getting fed tho.

HE'S BEING SUPPORTIVE AND TEACHER STILL DON'T WANNA DEAL WITH THIS

HE CALLED HER HIS GIRLFRIEND!!!!!!!!!!

My heart goes out to all the Doll fans, y'all got done dirty. 😔

He's learning how to draw anime!!! His art is getting so good!!!

He finally got to play rummy with the WDF!

They're gonna passionately make love on that bed later.

Wow what did Rachel ever do to you. Also who's Rachel.

THE NUZI-VIZZY DOUBLE DATE FEATURING DINGO AS THE FIFTH WHEEL

THAT'S THE REAL CYN YOU CAN'T CONVINCE ME THAT ISN'T THE REAL CYN FINALLY FREE OF THE SOLVER AND LIVING IN UZI'S TAIL UNTIL THEY CAN MAKE A NEW BODY FOR HER

IN YOUR FACE EVERYBODY WHO SAID LIAM DOESN'T LIKE HAPPY ENDINGS!!!!

[astronomodome]

It’s 3 AM and I’m stressed out so instead of doing boring things like sleeping I’m deciding whether or not I could beat each life series member in a physical fight (c! and cc!). Sorry about the violence idk why my brain thought of this. DISCLAIMER I don’t want to fight any of these people and I don’t wish any harm upon them I’m just delirious 👍 yayy

Rendog

c!: He’s just a guy with dog ears in canon so I wouldn’t be like suuuper fucked but I think I’d still lose. You know he turns up to jazzercise

cc!: Hasn’t he been through enough recently… could I win? Maybe. But I’d be a good sport about it and I’d expect him to do the same should he beat me

Grian

c!: Have you ever tried to fight a bird? Those things are scary. I got chased by a goose once and it was not fun. Yeah this ain’t happening

cc!: You know that one video of Grian demolishing that punching bag? That would be me. Do you want that for me? I don’t

Joel Smallishbeans

c!: I think I could but it would be really close and I’d have to go to the hospital immediately after. Not for fight wounds or anything I just would be worried he’d have given me rabies

cc!: I feel like I would have to fight him and Lizzie at the same time and I don’t think I could take that. Nothing can beat the power of love <3

Scott Smajor

c!: Nah I just lose and he’s judgmental about it too

cc!: LGBT infighting. I would probably lose

BigB

c!: he would win the psychic battle long before the physical battle could even begin

cc!: Man is yoked. I have died

Etho

c!: As soon as I walk up to him he teleports behind me and cuts me in half. Nothing personnel kid

cc!: Lost in the Canadian wilderness trying to track him down, I am mauled by a moose. My corpse becomes a nice meal for some wolves and I am slowly forgotten

Bdubs

c!: I could punt him with ease

cc!: I maybe could but would it really be worth it

Pearl

c!: Ripped apart by hounds so sad. I deserved it

cc!: I can’t afford to fly to Australia. Also even if I could I think she could just throw a bug at me and I would die from the 10,000 poisons that every Australian animal contains

Martyn Inthelittlewood

c!: I lied we’re not fighting I’m leading you out of the endless cycle of violence come with me

cc!: I feel like I would be overconfident going into it and then he would just deck me. Alternatively he could just recite mentally damaging lore facts at me until I fall over and die

Scar from Goodtimes

c!: He immediately engages me in a battle of wits that ends in me paying him to punch me in the face

cc!: I would concede immediately for moral reasons. Maybe we could lightsaber duel instead?

Impulse

c!: He would show up in like full netherite or something. Are these fights happening irl or in minecraft. Doesn’t matter. Either way I am gone. Reduced to ashes

cc!: That is a whole entire human being I think I’d punch him once and then apologize. It would not affect him at all. I don’t think he’d hurt me though

Tango

c!: I might have a chance but the fire hair thing might be a problem

cc!: I think it would somehow turn into a hockey match and given that I have only ice skated twice before and both times ended in me spraining my ankles real bad I don’t think my odds are looking great. He is bald though so there’s always hope

Cleo

c!: I am breakfast. She will eat me

cc!: I don’t think I’d even be able to get the fight set up I think they’d give me a fake address and leave it at that. And I would deserve it

Jimmy Solidarity

c!: We’re both rather pathetic and sad so I think in this case we would just adhere to rule of funny. Whether I win or lose depends on what’s funniest at the time

cc!: The GYM TEACHER?? No.

Skizzleman

c!: Why would I do that

cc!: :( I don’t want to do this anymore. I would lose also that is a whole ass adult man but I think he’d go easy on me so idk

Geminitay

c!: Lol. No.

cc!: I would be beaten instantly cause I’d feel bad about hurting her but honestly I don’t know why this would ever happen. We could be friends <3 sorry is that parasocial

Mumbo Jumbo

c!: I feel like he could outrun me but I could overpower him

cc!: Absolutely no chance, man could bike circles around me. I would be easily run over

Lizzie LDShadowlady

c!: Easily but I’d feel bad about it

cc!: Same as with Joel. I stand no chance against their combo attack

[neopets-smash-or-pass]

Smash or Pass: Ylana Skyfire

Pros: Sexy alien bounty hunter???

Cons: *teleports behind you* nothing personnel kid

[mdddante]

okay look i know in terms of library of ruina stuff for item asylum port is roland but hear me out on this for one second alright

10hbm as roland combat king as angelica.

combat king is canonically dead. 10hbm is fully monochrome, silly, and also mr eldritch horror teleports behind you nothing personnel kid

come on....... you cant tell me NOT to make angst of 10hbm holding combat king as he dies

......and also i need more combathour content ia fandom please start writing fanfiction.

[glutko]

*teleports behind you*

psssh… nothing personnel… kid…

[ildotore]

throws a wash basin at his head \ lumine hi :3

teleports behind you. "heh, nothing personnel, kid,"

[scratching92]

I know a few of you followed me more for Bleach and fanfic, and outside of a few reblogs here and there I’ve mostly pivoted to posting about Lancer due to brain rot, so to make it up a little I’ve decided to provide some Lancer!AU headcanons for some of the cast, despite normally not being about AUs.

Abarai Renji: I originally considered the idea that Renji pilots a standard General Massive Systems Everest, on account of his lack of money, but after thinking about it I realized he would pilot a GMS mech, but not an Everest. He would pilot a Sagarmatha, because Renji loves a good pep talk, and what is Raise The Banner if not the ultimate pep talk? Later on, his equivalent True Bankai moment would be grabbing an Royal Karrakin Foundries Orchis. Orchis' love of being adjacent to its allies, alongside Ferrous Lash providing options for pulling allies close/pushing enemies away fits Renji rather nicely. That said, I did about die laughing to myself earlier imagining Renji in a Harrison Armory Enkidu. Incidentally, I think in this AU he would be an Ignoble from the Karrakin Trade Baronies who got into the Karrakin Cavalry College somehow alongside Rukia.

Kuchiki Rukia: Rukia would pilot a Calendula, I think. Its focus on slowing mechs to make them vulnerable matches how she uses Sode no Shirayuki, I feel. Naturally, the Kuchikis would be a Karrakin House in this AU too, so it makes for her to pilot a Karrakin mech. Also, there's something morbidly funny about her having the power to put an ally and an enemy in the shadow realm to duel one another alone and uninterrupted. One imagines she enabled the Lancer! AU Kaien in a much more direct way than in canon.

Kuchiki Byakuya: Byakuya would pilot a Smith-Shimano Corpro Mourning Cloak. It's the most "-teleports behind you- nothing personnel, kid". Also, SSC is the luxury brand, and nothing says luxury like buying a scarf worth seven mansions a Mourning Cloak. Also also, however, Mourning Cloak's versatility in being suited to melee combat, ranged combat, AND e-warfare line up very nicely with Byakuya's own versatility as a Shinigami.

Zaraki Kenpachi: Kenpachi would absolutely use a GMS Everest, but he'd outfit it with Interplanetary Shipping-Northstar Blackbeard weapons and systems, for some real close-combat hacking and slashing. Post-character development, though, I think he'd swing towards Blackbeard's variant frame - the IPS-N Empakaai. A mech with an integrated superheavy weapon just feels right.

Kusajishi Yachiru: Yachiru does not get her own frame. She's Kenpachi's personal SEKHMET-Class NHP. She's maximizing Kenpachi's potential for violence.

Madarame Ikkaku: Ikkaku is absolutely the kind of guy to use a superheavy weapon, but I think the IPS-N Vlad is more his style. Both because it has a lance weapon, but also because Ikkaku's seiyuu, Nobuyuki Hiyama, was the voice of Viral in Gurren-Lagann, so of course he should use the mech with the big fuck-off superheavy Combat Drill.

Ayasegawa Yumichika: With Yumichika, we're gonna go in a wild direction. He would pilot a HORUS Manticore. It's a real close-combat type, much like Ikkaku and Kenpachi, but unlike them his Manticore is secretly built for hacking as well. Also, Yumichika's willingness to throw his life away to keep a secret feels like the kind of mindset that would CASTIGATE.

Komamura Sajin: Komamura would pilot the Harrison Armory Saladin. I'm not even sure I need to explain this one. Everyone remember to say "Thank you, Big Sajin".

[thecondimentgal]

No, I’m… pretty sure Box has the money! Like I said, it’s five bucks, how can they not have five bucks on hand? And I know Mic’s tastes kind of conflict with mine, like there’s that tiny little bit about her thinking Spoiled Lemon are a bunch of corporate sellouts… (She grits her teeth at the idea, then takes a deep breath to calm down a bit.) …but y’know, I’ve since learned to look past that and appreciate her for what she is. She… got it pretty rough the whole season, to be honest. But just for the record, that thing about Spoiled Lemon is absolutely not true- though y’know, I think I probably need to stop talking now before I eat up five entire hours of your time with my usual brand of disjointed rambling. (She sticks her tongue out at herself.) -🪭

(( teleports behind you nothing personnel kid >:) hiii paintbrush RPer, yes i am perfectly fine with you throwing in some fanbrush!! ))

I was assuming that they didn't. They didn't give me my five dollars.

Spoiled Lemon is okay. They're not exactly my thing, but I would go to a concert if I was invited. They don't make my ears bleed.

I dont mind rambling. As long as there's something interesting to go along with it.

[crusherthedoctor]

Since the original character designs in IDW have become something of a hot topic, I thought I’d give a brief tier list in regards to how I’d rank the original characters based on design alone (cause you know none of them would be ranked highly in terms of characterization), and how well they can fit in relatively seamlessly with the game cast.

Starting from the top:

Jewel: I don’t have any real issues with her design, it’s cute enough. Maybe the beta design where she lacks a nose would have worked better for a beetle, but it’s no big deal to me. And her attire - both her pink suit and her beta dress - are both good, simple, and compliment her overall colour scheme.

Tangle: I’m fine with her being a lemur, I like her Ristar tail, and while grey might not seem like a suitable colour for a Sonic anthro, it’s usually... shaded vibrantly enough(?) for it to not matter, ala Shadow’s black fur. Her clothing is a little extra than the average character, but nothing too extreme, and not something that couldn’t be resolved with a minor edit or two.

Starline: He’s fine overall, and the elements I initially wasn’t keen on (the side hair and the Neo Metal Sonic-esque shoes), I’ve warmed up to. That said, you can tell what the inspiration for his design was, and I think the most obvious touches from that inspiration are the ones that I’d adjust.

Kit: As a water-themed fennec, he’s... fine. Whatever.

Lanolin: Her hairstyle is kind of stupid, and her clothing is less Sonic and more Kingdom Hearts Lite. The rest of her is alright, I guess.

Whisper: I feel like the basic idea with her design could work, but in execution she’s just a little too cluttered and too obvious Metal Gear Solid reference. There’s really not much point to the mask in particular, as well as her eyes shut gimmick, since she opens them for Muh Dramatic Moment all the time anyway.

Rough and Tumble: I guess there’s nothing technically wrong with their designs, for what kind of characters they’re supposed to be. But I really don’t care for either of them.

Belle: I know it’s probably meant to invoke Eggman’s stache, but the Sticks hairdo (or should I say Aika hairdo) does not look good on her. And her clown nose makes her "No one cares about me uwu” scenes unintentionally hilarious.

Surge: Everything about her design pisses me off, and not just because she’s transparently a Vagina Scourge. Stop making that stupid Twitch streamer grimace, you’re not Eggman. Stop using too much hair gel. Get a less puke shade of green. Give Aladdin his pants back.

Mimic: I acknowledge that an octopus must be one of the trickier species to turn into a compelling Sonic design, but Mimic just looks like a crusty echidna who’s waiting for the right moment to teleport behind you and tell you it’s Nothing Personnel, Kid.

Clutch: I forgot what he looked like.

[blametheeditor]

The Expense Of Trust | Chapter 3

Anomalies and Incident Reports

First | Previous | Next

Content Warnings: Cursing. Mentions of death and murder. Mentions of others being lesser than. Intent to kill. Death by anomaly. Dehumanization. Addressing someone as 'it'. Darker themes and tone.

Run Down: In the instant of a site-wide containment breach, there are only a few protocols available to follow. Know the right people, hope to be at the right place at the right time, and whatever you do, don't trust anything.

Scott can't seem to catch a break, but next week we torture Fritz

______________________________

Scott’s first thought when Vincent instructed him to turn around was to prepare to run. 

Because up until that point, the living shadow hadn’t been helping in escaping the facility unless he was in immediate danger, and even then it’s been verbal directions while hiding in Scott’s own shadow despite having the capability of using a corporeal form. Meaning it was up to the containment specialist to do all of the leg work in carefully making his way toward an exit. 

Instead of an SCP rounding the corner, however, he was greeted with the sight of a small group of people lined along the wall of the hallway opposite of the one he had been making his way down. 

At first he was confused, managing to identify D-Class and medical personnel, the latter he actually recognizes as the kid who has checked over him monthly ever since he made the deal with Vincent. A tactile response officer, a researcher, and someone wearing a suit. And there is only one person in this entire facility who wears a full piece suit. 

The moment he realized it was David seemed to be the same moment the senior researcher recognized Scott.

He expected a lot of things. Annoyance due to their interactions always turning into arguments regarding wearing proper safety gear. Possibly even relief finding another person who hasn’t fallen victim to an anomaly. At the very worse indifference considering on the surface, Scott wouldn’t have much to contribute when it comes to escaping other than having each and every hallway memorized and therefore able to lead them to the exit. 

No, David suddenly looks horrified before turning around. Begins running in the opposite direction. 

Was the senior researcher leaving him behind? 

Scott tries to quench his anger, sending a glance over his shoulder to see if an anomaly snuck up behind him. Because the man couldn’t be that selfish and leave someone to die because they had arguments. 

There’s nothing. No sign of a single SCP. Honestly, Scott should’ve expected it given his track record. 

“They’re heading straight toward an anomaly,” Vincent pipes up. 

Wait. “What kind of anomaly?” 

“The bad kind,” is all that’s offered. 

Great. Wonderful. So either Scott can be the bigger person and warn them despite the clear want to leave him to survive on his own, or pretend he doesn’t have such vital information and simply continue toward the exit. 

Of course Vincent wouldn’t care which is chosen. The demon has made it blatantly clear he finds the morals most humans possess to be quite entertaining. Wouldn’t hang it over Scott’s head if he picks the second option because it’s just a matter of survival, simply revel in watching the guilt slowly consume the containment specialist from the inside out. 

God damn it. 

“Dav-!” 

His shout is cut off as the ground vanishes from beneath his feet the moment he stepped forward to chase after them. He’s in freefall for a few seconds, unable to breathe, unable to scream, staring out into a pitch-black void. 

It feels like a lifetime has passed, and then the ground appears as if it was always there, Scott unable to stop his momentum. Forced to bring his hands up in the attempt to soften his collision with a wall that seemed to have materialized from thin air. 

It didn’t, he’s more or less used to Vincent’s way of ‘teleporting’ him from place to place, but he will never be an ‘expert’ at it. Not when he’s positive the demon purposefully throws him near objects just to see him trip or at the very least nearly break his nose. 

Scott’s fairly certain he earned a slight concussion this round, but this time he manages to stay on his feet. Looks around the room before spotting the open door. Racing out in the hopes he managed to stop David in time, only to immediately feel hands grab his shoulders before an arm is secured around his neck. 

He feels panic flood his heart as a hand is placed on his forehead, begins to struggle with all his might. Praying he isn’t killed all because he was trying to save their lives. “I’m not an anomaly!” 

"He’s n-n-not!” 

“David.” 

“He’s not, but he’s marked.” 

Scott doesn’t know when he closed his eyes, but once he realizes he opens them to be greeted with David staring down at him with a grim expression. Stares as the taller man pushes someone behind him. 

The worst part however is the sight of some kind of mist creeping around the corner heading straight toward them. 

“Behind you!” 

The arm that had been slowly restricting his throat releases him. But before he can process why, hand is on his back to shove him away from the oncoming threat. “Move.” 

Scott doesn’t need to be told twice, obediently running back toward the spot he had originally been. Only slows down for a second in order to meet Jeremy in the eye. The one familiar face he doesn’t have a bad past with. “Follow me.” 

He’s unable to wait for the kid to give a response, sprinting down the opposite hallway and making a swift left to continue on his path toward an exit. 

“Right.” 

Vincent’s directions aren’t questioned. He still has a hard time trusting the demon, but with Scott’s life currently on the line he has no room to argue. And this time, he can’t help having a little bit of faith at the sight of a security door only a few yards away. 

"Stop!” 

He barely manages to in time, skidding to a halt right before stepping out into the hallway parallel to the one he’s currently in. Gasps for air as his legs tremble from the exertion and terror. Remembers he’s not alone and whirls around to see Jeremy’s about a few feet behind him, able to slow down without any trouble. Followed by the D-Class, the officer- they all followed him. Even David. 

“V-Vince?” Scott begins, hoping he’ll get a little more information on what’s stopping them from reaching the security door. It’s right there. As soon as they get through it they’re essentially home free. 

“There’s something waiting in the hallway,” the demon begins. “As soon as you step out it’ll grab you.” 

“God damn it.” 

“Right or left?” the officer asks as he walks closer, grabbing a small disk from his belt. Meaning he heard Vincent’s explanation. And is willing to give the disembodied voice the benefit of the doubt. 

Vincent hums. “Directly above, actually.” 

The man nods once. Presses one side of the disk before throwing it out into the hallway. “Brace yourself.” 

Scott didn’t know who was being addressed, but within the fraction of a second, something drops from the ceiling and disappearing once more the device gone. A moment later it sounds as if something exploded right before he feels the displacement of air. 

“Thirty seconds.” 

He’s at the security door in five. Swipes his key in one. Holds it open as he counts everyone making it through before slamming it shut with four to spare. 

“Scott,” David growls lowly in between labored breaths. “You better explain yourself.” 

“Well aren’t you a hypocrite,” Vincent begins as his shadow stretches onto the wall beside Scott. He then steps out of it to form a familiar purple man. One who’s grinning from ear to ear. “I also seem to recall it’s none of your business.” 

“It is my business when I’m apparently dealing with a demon!” 

“Oh so we’re making deals, now.” 

“Vince,” Scott hisses to try and reel the living shadow back in, even if it might be completely fruitless. 

He almost misses the officer doing the same thing to David. Though instead of flashing a condescending smile, the taller man backs down. “How do names work?” 

Vincent’s smile suddenly vanishes. “You’re a hunter who knows what he’s doing.” 

“And it seems your only weapon is ambiguity.” 

That earns a low whistle. “I can see how you managed to get someone like him under your thumb. You’re safe with your first. Last is pushing it.” 

“I’m James,” the officers introduces, locking eyes with Scott most likely looking just as lost as he feels. “Thank you for helping us.” 

“Of course. I’m Scott, this is Vince-” 

A hand is suddenly covers his mouth before he can finish the living shadow’s name, leaving him stunned as Vincent gives a dark chuckle before removing his hand. “No need to overshare, Scotty.” 

“We're going to trust this?” David demands as he gestures toward the scene in front of him. Honestly, Scott can’t even be upset. Not when it’s abundantly clear he knows nothing about the demon he made a contract with. 

“At least I have a rulebook,” Vincent shrugs. “I’m much more concerned with the half-breed.” 

Scott feels like he was left behind somewhere. He doesn’t know where exactly, and to be entirely truthfully he might even want to know. But considering someone was able to wrangle Vincent within just a few seconds, he wants to stay on good terms with James. If that means somehow fixing his and David’s relationship in one way or another, then he will do it, no matter what it takes. 

The only issue is the fact Vincent seems dead set on trying to anger everyone. Including Jeremy who attempts to glare at the demon. “H-H-His name is M-Mike.” 

Scott doesn’t want to know why Vincent suddenly looks very excited. “This is going to be fun.” 

“James,” David all but pleads. 

“They both saved our lives,” is all the officer says. 

That is the last straw for Scott. The realization that the only reason why someone is staying on his side is because a favor is owed. “Vince. Do me a favor and shut up.” 

“Did I go too far?” the demon stage whispers with a smug smile. 

“You know you did!” Scott exclaims. Uncaring if the others are watching and listening. “I would appreciate it if you didn’t intentionally antagonize.” 

“What for?” Vincent asks. It almost feels like a slap in the face from how genuine it is. As if the living shadow can’t find any reason not to be. 

“You know what, forget it.” 

“Did the fact I’m a demon just slip your mind?” 

“Did you claiming we’re friends slip yours?” 

Vincent suddenly barks out a laugh. “Did you honestly think I meant that?” 

Scott stares up at the demon for a moment. Memorizing the sneer and the sheer joy at the fact he managed to trick the containment specialist. 

Someone who bent over backward for the anomaly to make the research teams back off after they managed to get under Vincent’s skin. Pulled several strings in order to get a table placed inside the demon’s containment room so he could protect himself within reason. Genuinely enjoyed answering questions about ‘odd human mannerisms’ when the living shadow escaped containment for the sole purpose to bother Scott. 

Looking back on it, he should’ve realized he was just being used. It’s nothing new. Just meant he was an idiot for thinking a shadow demon would be any different. 

Well two could play at that game. 

He refuses to acknowledge Vincent’s sneer quickly vanishing as it’s replaced with a look of regret. “Scotty-” 

Scott brushes past James and David in order to lead the way down the smaller corridors on this side of the security door. Tunnels normally meant for maintenance that should be empty of most SCP’s. And for any that managed to slip through the cracks, Vincent will easily be able to sense them before they get to close. Something he’ll have to announce or else Scott gets killed considering he’s first in line. 

“Scotty, wait.” 

He doesn’t acknowledge Vincent running to catch up with him, the living shadow opting to keep a form he’s commented on being less superior. For what reason, Scott doesn’t care enough to think about. 

“I’m sorry, that was uncalled for,” Vincent murmurs as he falls in step with the shorter. 

“No, you’re right,” Scott shrugs. “You’re just a demon who doesn’t possess any feelings.” 

“Look, I know you’re angry-” 

“How do you know what anger is?” 

“Hey,” the demon growls. “Stop being pretty.” 

Scott glances up to see if Vincent was intentionally botching the saying, not wanting to be tricked. But there’s a genuine scowl aimed toward him. No hint of a smirk. “It’s petty.” 

Vincent opens his mouth with a glare before hesitating, seeming to realize what was said. “What did I say?” 

“Pretty can be an amplifier or a compliment.” 

“Stop being pretty petty.” 

Scott hates himself for wanting to smile at how confidently the sentence was spoken. “Close enough.” 

“I think of you as a friend,” Vincent grumbles, as if he’s unsure how to feel about such a confession. “I offered a deal instead of killing you for a reason. I really do enjoy throwing you across rooms.” 

Scott gives a look. “Not what you’re supposed to enjoy in a friendship.” 

“But then I would be lying if I said anything else!” 

He whirls on the demon in order to properly chew him out, yelling when Vincent sinks into his shadow with a laugh. “Asshole!” 

“Are you two done?” David snaps from the back of the line. One that has James at the front who stopped a few feet away when Scott did. Following by Mike, Jeremy, and the assistant researcher he had completely forgotten about. A bit unsure where the kid has been this entire time. “I’d prefer to get out of this place before whatever the hell is kept in the basement finally realizes it can escape containment.” 

Scott glances around the corridor. Staring when he spots a door almost to his immediate left. The door he was looking for, actually, because on the other side is a direct path to an exit out of the facility. 

“Don’t-!” 

Vincent’s warning came too late as the door swings open. 

He was expecting a horrific Eldritch being by how panicked the living shadow sounded. Yet all he sees is a young boy no older than ten years old standing about a yard away. Holding nothing but a plush golden bear. With a blade of shadow as long as he is tall racing forward to slice him cleanly in half. 

[superman-the-secret-third-thing]

teleports behind you

"Nothing personnel, kid"

SM20 "Not in the Cards" (1943), SM#5 (1940), SM6 (1940), AC135 (1949), AC109 "Mother Goose Crimes" (1947)

[panie-wanie-dean-bean]

EnderJean: *teleports behind you* nothing personnel, kid. *Pulls down his pants*

While this is very funny Jean is an enderdragon hybrid. He teleports away when he's scared but he can't control it. Now if Jean got scared and just so happened to teleport behind you? Yeah I could see it, if he wasn't still scared by whatever made him jump anyhow

The one with real teleportation here is Nick and he doesn't do shit unless you've talked it out before hand. Now if you told him you want to be surprised out in the woods by him teleporting behind you and fucking you right there? Yeah, he can make that happen

[aerinis]

*teleports behind you* nothing personnel kid....