#(technically but please pay attention to the ANTI dair tag!!)

[raeflora]

I said the basics of this on twitter but I honestly don't understand the sethmer dair comparisons like they're completely different ships. seth was obsessed with summer for years, much like how dan was obsessed with serena (serena, not blair who he apparently fell in love with after 5 minutes of interacting with her at an internship). seth and summer were on the same social standing in terms of wealth, it was more their differering popularity among their peers that prevented them from interacting. it's also worth pointing out that seth is very into comic books and other "geeky" hobbies, which summer wasn't into and looked down on. however, once she kissed him she realised that she did have romantic feelings for him, and that he saw her as more than a fun party girl or marissa's best friend. although initially summer was worried about their peers' reactions to her dating seth, they worked through it and they happily dated publicly at school. even when they broke up everyone could see that they belonged together, and that they still loved each other. they worked so hard to stay together and try to go to college together because they knew that they're meant to be together, and were willing to work on their relationship and adapt to challenges together. their first time together was bad, yes, but that's because they were both virgins who had never had relationships before. they communicated about it and worked through it, like they did throughout their relationship.

dair's first kiss made blair realise she wanted to be with chuck, and made her realise that all that was between her and dan was friendship. blair barely interacted with dan throughout high school because she looked down on his social standing, and dan didn't seem interested in her at all. yes they became friends and yes they did date, but blair treated him like a child throughout their 2 month relationship and very clearly didn't enjoy being seen in public with him (they never hold hands whereas sethmer were always doing something affectionate in public). dan wasn't meant to be a geek like seth and ostracised by his peers due to his hobbies, because at nyu he seems very popular and well liked, it's the massive difference in social standing and wealth (and the fact that dan's been spying on them this whole time instead of trying to have a conversation) (also nate befriends him very easily so obviously if he tried to befriend them sooner he may not have been such a self proclaimed outcast). dair's first time is bad, but unlike sethmer they weren't virgins (far, far from it) and they don't communicate and get drunk instead. throughout their relationship they lie to each other and don't trust each other at all. unlike sethmer when they break up the only person who thinks they should get back together is dan, and he gets called out on how delusional he is because it's obvious blair wants to be with chuck.

sethmer and dair aren't rich girl/geeky boy because dan's not a geek. they aren't mean girl/soft boy because dan's not soft. they aren't rich girl/poor boy because seth's not poor. they aren't bf loves gf more because summer loves seth just as much as he loves her. seth and dan aren't really similar personalities, yes they're both smart, "nerdy outcasts" but they're vastly different in their actual characterisations. seth is a geek and proud, he loves comics and emo music and he wants to get away from all the fakeness of being rich in newport. dan is literally the opposite, he wants to be part of the upper east side so badly that he'll do anything. he's athletic (he plays soccer at school) and he dates lots of women throughout the show (aside from anna, seth markedly doesn't) and he'll betray his friends if it'll get him what he wants.

seth and summer's relationship spanned 4 seasons and ended with them getting married (and, to quote summer, seth was her destiny). dan and blair had 7 episodes where blair was blatantly in love with chuck the whole time and ended with them breaking up entirely off-screen through email (and, to quote blair, she would rather be with no-one than with dan). there are no comparisons between the two beyond superficial tropes that don't even fit them. if you're a fan of both then fine, but don't drag sethmer down to the same level as a ship who are inconsequential to the plot of their show when they drove the plot of theirs.