#(sorry jack and tommy gotta use you to cross-tag)

[piningpebbles]

the dream smp journey: attempting to make the lore of the dream smp more accessible.

so back when i first wanted to get into the dream smp i had absolutely no idea where to start. i asked some people and they told me pretty much “look up dream smp + [insert youtuber name] and start there” and so i did, but i quickly came to realize how much i was missing from the story by not seeing all the different points of view.

so i decided to make my own playlist.

it was just for myself at first, but as i got more obsessed with the story, i also gave the link to some friends of mine so they could have the full experience, and they loved it. so i kept updating it.

my goal was to try and make a capsule of the entirety of the lore on the dream smp across almost every single POV, because while i do appreciate those who make recap videos, they always miss something and it’s usually with peoples’ POV who aren’t considered to be “main characters” which sucks because one of my favorite things about the dream smp was how everyone was their own main character with their own individual storyline you could get invested in.

i’ve seen every single video in the playlist, and did my absolute best to discern what should be included and what didn’t need to be. 

for instance, while i personally enjoyed streams where they’d just goof off, this is a lore-centric playist so i didn’t include all of them unless one of the jokes or such gets mentioned/becomes important later on. or if there is a lore event happening but two people have almost identical streams to one another then i decided between the two of them which one to keep. or if the cc themself made an edited version of their experience, i would decide whether to go with that or keep the original vod

it’s far from perfect. i tried to keep up with it as long as i could I STILL HAVE VIDEOS IN MY WATCH LATER THAT I PLANNED TO ADD but simply put while the dream smp storyline got longer and longer it became harder to keep up with. i watched pretty much all the streams when they happened but failed to update the playlist accordingly so right now it has almost everything up until ”Hitting on 16.”

i always wanted to finish it before i posted it, but i’ve been seeing people talk about how they miss the experience of watching the dream smp and while i obviously can’t provide the full interactive experience that the dream smp offered as it came out, i knew i couldn’t just keep this in my back pocket and thought i could at least offer a good chunk of the experience for you guys to still be able to keep!

here’s the playlist, spanning over 300 videos.

there’s also a semi-canon playlist (not nearly as thorough) for events that get mentioned by the cc’s a lot or are just cool to have and i wanted to include them somewhere so here it is also!!

to go along with it i also made a masterpost (can you tell i love making lists) which is what every single video on the playlist is supposed to be (and was last i checked, but videos get taken down every so often so there might be a couple missing here and there).

i hope to update this one day and have it fully finished, but with my schedule (full-time college student babyyyy) and simply the hundreds of hours of content i’d need to sift through it just seems impossible (and frankly just really intimidating) to challenge alone right now. so i also wanted to give this to the community to maybe be able to do what i couldn’t!

my hope with this is that if someone in a year or two (or whenever really) is interested in the dream smp they won’t have to sit through recap videos and instead can watch the real thing in a single playlist connected to the doc. my dream is for the masterpost and the playlist to go hand-in-hand, being like a guide people can follow that would also link to other moments and lore that is saved but just not avaliable on youtube, so we don’t have all these moments just lost to time.

i want to make this collaborative, i’m hoping this will maybe spark others to share what videos/moments they have saved and stored with each other for the dream smp and maybe together we could complete this thing somehow!! make the playlist and masterpost i dreamed of (the one right now is scuffed, but at least it’s something). the dream smp is one of my absolute favorite pieces of media out there and i want to share this with people but (as you can probably tell) i have no idea what i’m doing!! any step to help make the story more readily accessible is a good one, though!

i know i’ve missed things but i’ve done my best. and while not the perfectly polished thing i hoped it would be when i sent it out to the world maybe it could be a good building block for the community to use. so please share this!! reblog it!! all that jazz!! i want this to be for everyone!!

anyways, this is a long post. but the whole reason i got into the dream smp in the first place was because of the awesome fan content i saw and this crazy and creative community and i want to be able to give back, if i can.

[propertyofnikkisthighs]

She’s My Collar pt. 4

Tags: @nowhereiswhereibelong​

I jolt awake in terror clutching my chest and looking around wildly before my eyes adjust to the dark and I remember I’m in my own room. I try to focus on calming my breathing back to a normal level and hold my head in my hands. A thin film of sweat covers my forehead and the cool air against my back is an indicator that is also covered in sweat due to my nightmare. I take a deep breath and contemplate my next move carefully before I think fuck it and decide to throw caution to the wind. I fling the covers off of my body and get up turning my lamp on so I could see properly. I look around for clothing to throw on and find a pair of shorts and one of Tommy’s shirts he had lent me after getting a beer dumped on me by a drunk asshole at a show. I slip my feet into my slippers and make my way over to the boy’s apartment.

The music flows out of the open window near their front door, which is now nailed shut from the cops kicking it down so much. The potent odor of marijuana is also spilling out of the window along with a particularly shit faced girl who runs to the railing and proceeds to spill her guts over it. I hear Tommy before I see him as I crawl through the window into the living room.

“You guys are gonna fucking freak.” I hear Tommy say and I find him just in time to catch his face going between a girl’s legs going to town.

I avert my eyes and make my way around his public show into the kitchen to try to find any of the other boys. I successfully locate Nikki in the kitchen tearing through the cabinets in search of something. He nearly falls into me turning too fast, but luckily catches himself at the last minute.

“Hey Riv!” He yells excitedly messing up my hair. “Have you seen our rubbing alcohol?”

“I don’t live here Nikki.” If he’s looking for rubbing alcohol I know he’s up to no good.

“Come on River don’t be a fucking buzz kill.” He sighs annoyed with my concern for his well being.

“Under the sink.” I roll my eyes and he gets a goofy smile on his face running to get it.

I lean against the wall and watch as Nikki tears into the living room like a bat out of hell. A man laughs, egging Nikki on as he dumps the liquid on his leather jacket clad arm and uses his lighter to cover his arm in flames. The man clearly had never been to one of their shows if this little production had him wowed. Nikki flashes a shit eating grin my way and walks towards the man little fires falling from him singeing the carpet in his wake. The man backs away seeming genuinely scared that Nikki will burn him and I know Nikki will accidentally burn him so I spray his fire with the spray bottle I kept on the fridge to discipline them.

“River what the fuck?” Nikki scoffs at me in disbelief crossing his arms like a toddler throwing a tantrum.

“If you light the building on fire the band is fucked out of a living slash rehearsing space.” I say shrugging.

“You know you could at least try being less of a loser.” Nikki grumbles at me and I’m about to fire back for him to shove it when I see Vince adjusting himself in his pants coming out of the bathroom.

“Have fun? Did you enjoy the ride?” I directed him.

“I know she sure did.” Vince laughs giving Nikki a high five. “When did you get here, River? You normally say no to our invites to party with us.”

“I couldn’t sleep.” I shrug.

The moans of the girl Tommy is “performing” on suddenly cut through the noise of all the millions of other things going on in the apartment. I turn to go deeper into the kitchen and look in the fridge for a beer to ignore them. The boys on the other hand go to check out the show. I take a sip of the beer and try not to cringe too much at the taste. I wasn’t a big drinker in general and I especially disliked the taste of beer, but it was the only thing the boys had in their fridge. I squeeze my eyes closed as the grand finale comes to an end in the living room and try to pretend that what was happening in there wasn’t happening. Tommy rounds the corner and catches sight of me, eyes closed squeezing a beer between two hands and stops dead in his tracks. I peek my eyes open and see Tommy stopped in front of me slowly turning a deep red shade all over his face.

“Hey.” I say cracking a smile and he smiles back, but he still looks embarrassed.

“Hey. How long have you been here?” He asks rubbing his neck nervously.

“Long enough.” I take a sip of my beer. “I couldn’t sleep.”

“Can I?” He asked motioning to the fridge and I realize I’m blocking the door for him to get into it.

“Oh yeah I’m sorry.” I shuffle to the side and he cracks open his beer and chugs some of his beer leaning on the counter near me.

“Do you wanna talk about it?”

“Just restless. I’m fine.” I lie not wanting to put a damper on his night.

“Want to take a shot with me?” He smiles wildly and I nod my head agreeing. Which was my first mistake that night. My eyelids feel as if they are a million pounds and my head feels like someone wacked me upside it with a brick. I groan and try to pull my covers over my head from the blaring light of the window only to be met with some unseeable force holding them down. That was about the time I noticed that not only was this not my cover, this was not my room at all. I sit up quickly, far too quickly and everything spins around me. I groan again and hold my head in my hands until I regain stability. I hear soft snoring next to me and look over to see Tommy laying on his stomach in just his underwear a small pool of drool next to his mouth. I look down and see I’m only in his shirt and my panties and a panic sets in my bones. Did I fuck Tommy last night?? I need to get to my apartment and quick.

I scan the messy bedroom and locate my shorts and bra discarded on the lamp in the corner and slowly make my way to them so as to not make much noise. I pull my shorts on and try to find my slippers. They seem to have been kicked haphazardly in front of Tommy’s door luckily and I slip into those before tip toeing out of the room. I close the door softly and turn to leave smacking right into Nikki’s chest.

“Well well well look who is doing the walk of shame this morning.” Nikki chuckles and I place a finger over his mouth shushing him.

“Not now Nikki. I have a killer hangover.” I whine in a whisper.

“Here come in the kitchen let a professional teach you how to treat a hangover ya big baby.” He motions for me to follow him and against my better judgement I follow him.

“How do you possibly do this all the time?” The dull thud in my brain is churning my stomach and I’m almost worried I’ll blow chunks right then and there.

“I told you, I’m a professional.” He smirks as he hands me a glass of mystery liquid. I take a drink and choke on the harsh burn of a jack and coke.

“Nikki what the fuck is your problem?!” I cough. “I’m hungover, why would you give me more alcohol?”

“Hair of the dog.” He shrugs.

“I’m going to my apartment. Where things make sense.” I storm out of their place as best as I can considering I have to crawl out of a window with Nikki calling out that he’ll see me later at the show.

Oh fuck I forgot about the show tonight. I try not to make too much noise getting to my room as Mick is sleeping vampire style on my couch, which seemed to be the new normal for us. Once I’m safely in my room I flop and the bed and shut my eyes praying when I wake up this hangover will be long gone.

The boys are rowdy as ever tonight in their favorite post show booth at The Rainbow. Tommy and Nikki have bashed each other's heads on the table more times than I can count and Vince would disappear every so often for the bathroom, but would return with pupils the size of saucers and a mouth ready to shout along with the overgrown idiots with whom he shared a band. Oh not to mention they had a girl sucking their dicks under the table. I tried to ignore the fact Tommy was struggling to keep his expression neutral as the girl gave him his “turn”.

“I have to go to the bathroom.” I announce not that any of them are really paying attention besides Mick who nods to acknowledge me.

Instead of heading to the bathroom I stand outside listening to the sounds of the strip to calm myself. There was no need to get worked up. So what if you guys might have slept together and you couldn’t remember it? He was an on the rise rockstar that was their thing right, so why did it hurt so bad? I took a deep breath and collected my thoughts again before I went back inside to face the music, but I hoped the girl had moved on to Nikki by now. To my delight (and also surprise) the table girl is gone entirely. Just as I’m about to ask where their personal dick sucking machine has gotten off to a blonde slides in next to Nikki.

“Aye River!” Nikki acknowledges me in his state of drunken friendliness. “I want you to meet Beth.”

“Hello Beth.” Vince winks her way and I can already see the cogs of his brain trying to calculate a threesome at the very least. And taking Nikki’s girl at the very most.

“Hey.” I smile trying to play nice. She seems like most of the groupies the guys regularly fuck, a rich girl that likes coming to the strip to blow guys and daddy’s money on drugs.

As the night continues on Vince and Tommy trade places with him ending up right next to me. The booth is crowded and I try not to let my mind wander everytime Tommy’s fingers brush against my knee or when he tucks his face into my hair to laugh excessively from boyish joy and alcohol mixing.

“Alright well we’re gonna move on to the next bar you coming T-bone?” Nikki slurs holding Beth’s hips against his own and sways in the spot next to the table from being intoxicated.

“Nah man someone’s gotta make sure Riv gets home safe.” Tommy tosses an arm around my shoulder and I feel my face heat up.

“Suit yourself.” Nikki shrugs and a smug smirk falls over his face. “Remember kids the only sure fire way to prevent unwanted pregnancy is to swallow.”

He’s out of my reach when I lunge up to try to whack him which only increases his enjoyment at my embarrassment. He gives me the finger as he and Vince walk away snickering with Beth calling a “nice to meet you” back to the rest of us.

“Ya coming Mick?” Tommy asks as we pile back onto the strip.

“I have to go make sure things are cool with the she-beast at home. River leave the extra key under the mat for me just in case.” He rolls his eyes walking to his car.

Tommy and I have walked home at night alone more times than I could count now and yet there was this thick awkward silence between us this time. He normally would toss an arm around my shoulder or hold my hand, but his hands are jammed in the pockets of his leather jacket and he walks a few paces ahead of me. Just as I’m about to ask him if things are okay he starts to speak.

“You left.” Is all he says softly.

“What?”

“You left this morning and didn’t say anything.”

“I was just really hungover and wanted to sleep in my own bed.” I half lie to him.

“Do you even remember what you said to me last night?” He huffs.

“Tommy I don’t really remember last night.”

“You said you always wanted to sleep in bed and wake up together.” Neither of us continue walking at that point.

“I-”

“Did you mean it?” He asks looking at the ground.

“Yes Tommy.” I admit “You’re my best friend at this point. I feel safest when I’m with you.”

“Yeah. Best friend.” He repeats.

I take the few steps to bring me right beside him and snake my arms around him to hug his middle and by the grace of god he hugs me back. The rest of the walk home is quiet, but the silence doesn’t feel heavy anymore. I convince (not that it took much convincing) Tommy to shower and sleep at my apartment instead of me sleeping in his gross apartment again. My back is to the door and I can’t see Tommy enter my room but I can smell the men’s body wash I forcibly bought for him. The mattress dips and creaks slightly as he settles in next to me and the warmth the shower brought him radiates towards me in waves. An involuntary shudder rolls through my body and the next thing I know I’m being pulled against Tommy’s warm skinny body. I glance over my shoulder to see Tommy staring down at me with an unreadable expression.

“You don’t remember any of last night?” He asks barely above a whisper.

“Nope.” I copy his tone.

“So then you don’t remember…” he trails off and brings his hand up to cup and stroke my cheek and his tongue darts out to wet his lips quickly.

“What?” My eyes flick from his eyes to his mouth and back up again.

I can hear my heartbeat in my ears as the distance between us begins to shrink. My eyes flutter close and I’m sure I stop breathing when our lips ghost over each other not quite fully connecting them.

I hear the sound of shattering glass. Then I smell the fire.

[xxisxxisxxis]

Gateway Drug | Part Eight

Part Seven

Pairing: Douglas Booth!Nikki Sixx X OC Warning(s): Language, mentions of drug abuse, minor sexual situations Tag list: @fandomshit6000 @lilmou5ie @tamedhearts @divaanya @allieburakovsky @kingbouji3 @evrsncnewyork  @6ixx6ixx@ratedrkohardychick91 @floregrohlssard  @oldschoolimagineblog@thanks2pete @abaldboi @swoopygorl @justjodeye @liith-ium @caos18blog@ytwahsog @shamlessobsessions @scarecrowmax @toadspleen @random-internet-user-4471

**Let me know if you want to be tagged**

A year and a half flew by like the speed of light, and things were starting to come together for every one of us. 

I put school on hold, which Nikki didn't like because he felt it was his fault, even though he was aware I would've put school on hold anyway for Tommy. I didn't even have to tell my parents I was dating Nikki because as soon as mom found withdraw forms from Julliard in the mail, she called me dishonest, accused me of disobeying my parents, and threw me out as soon as I let her know I found somewhere else to stay. I figured she would find out about us eventually, anyway, so there was no reason for me to go out of my way to tell her why I was putting school off. After that happened, I left my house and was living with Nikki once everyone saved up enough money to move out of the crappy apartment. To Vince and Tommy we were just room mates. We knew Mick didn't fall for it because, like Tansy, he also just knew things but he never mentioned a word of it Tommy or Vince, or even confirmed to either me or Nikki that he knew what was really going on. He minded his business, like he always did.

Tansy and her mom had moved out to New York the summer after we graduated because she had been approached for a contract with some modeling agency out there and they were paying for a nice apartment for them to stay in. I was proud of her because she had always wanted to model, however, I was skeptical. She was 5'3" and back then, you had no chance of hitting a runway if you were too short. So Editorials were her only option, but I knew she would be just as happy posing in Vogue as she would be walking down a catwalk.

So with the new album, Tansy modeling, everyone moving out of the hell-hole apartment and Nikki and I managing to make it over a year tolerating each other in a relationship, everything was falling in to place. And it was only getting better.

"'Jesus is Satan?' I raise a brow as I ask, seeing Nikki and Vince smiling and laughing while explaining why one of their sound engineers fled their recording session.

"It's only backtracking, it's not like we're throwing it out there. You gotta look for it." Vince explains.

"Aren't you two just every church girl's dream?" I ask sarcastically.

"Maybe you should start cleansing my soul before I come inside the apartment. It might help exorcise whatever demon you're convinced has possessed me." He says it genuinely, but I know he's full of it from the smirk he gives me. I'm tempted to threaten to close my legs anytime he wants any, but Vince is here and he'd tell Tommy if he knew about us, so I save the threat for later, narrowing my eyes at Nikki.

"Ohh, if looks could kill you'd be a dead man." Vince hits Nikki's arm as Nikki takes a swig of his Jack.

"Whatever, I'm taking a nap." I tell them, stepping to the guest bedroom which is supposed to be my room.

"You just woke up a couple hours ago," Nikki argues.

"I don't feel good." I reply, honestly, the budding feeling of nausea resting in the pit of my stomach.

Vince leans over to Nikki, whispering something in to his ear and Nikki shakes his head, grinning.

"No, not for another week." He says to Vince, the two smiling innocently at me and I ignore them and shut the door of the bedroom, crawling in to the bed.

After a few minutes of laying on my stomach, the nausea subsides and I'm able to go back to sleep for an hour and a half before the door of the bedroom door creaks open. I already know it's Nikki coming to harass me, and the feeling of his lips touching the bare skin between my shoulder blades that's been left exposed by the tank top I'm in, just confirms it.

Another kiss is pressed to the back of my shoulder, then to my cheek and I turn over to face him, enjoying the feeling of him over me.

"I gotta go to the studio." He tells me. "I'll see you later."

"Alright." I nod, sighing as he leans down to press his lips to mine for a second, before going to leave. It's not enough for me, though, and I'm scrambling to the foot of the bed to catch his wrist in my hand and pull him back to me, reminding him some two second peck on the lips is basically an insult to me, and usually is an insult to him unless it's to avoid being late to get on stage or going to the studio.

He chuckles at my desperate effort and pulls himself closer to me by my hips as our lips, tongues and teeth meet. Before I can reach for his belt buckle, he's groaning a little and putting his hands on my arms to push me away a slightly.

"I gotta go, Viv." He breathes out with a wide smile, brushing a few strands of red hair from my face. "We can fool around when I get back." He assures me.

"You'll be wasted when you get back." I argue.

"I won't drink that much." He presses a last kiss to my cheek, patting my hip before he leaves.

One of the many things to know about Motley Crue: "we won't drink that much" = "we'll try not to drink that much...but we will drink that much, and then some, and not remember any of it". Same rule applies to drugs and sex.

He gets back twelve hours later at four in the morning, swinging the front door open and stumbling back in to it with his hand still gripping the door knob to keep him from face planting. I look up from my bible to see him do this, and set it aside to go help him.

"Hey, Viv," He greets me with a slur and I give a sympathetic smile. "I think I drank that much."

"I kind of knew you would." I reply, helping him keep his balance as he steps to our bedroom. He plops down on the edge of the bed, tugging his boots off, nearly falling off the bed as he throws them across the room.

"C'mere." He says to me while I'm standing against the door frame with my arms crossed, watching him.

I do as he says, his hands grabbing at me at pulling me to straddle him.

"You smell like a bar," I tell him, laughing as he nips and licks at my neck.

"You smell good." He replies dopily and I rest on of my hands at the back of is neck, my fingers lacing through his hair.

"It's called a shower," I say. "You should try one some time."

"Fuck you." He falls back on the bed, his arms splayed out beside his head as he closes his eyes. "You know somethin'?" He asks me and I lean forward, my body against his as I rest my elbows on his chest.

"What?"

"I wanna fuckin' tell people we're together." His words surprise me a little.

"If we do that, Tommy will find out. And he will kill you."

"If he wants to kick my ass for fuckin' his hot friend, then fine, because I'm tired of lying and telling them we're 'room mates'." He explains sloppily. "Room mates don't sleep in the same bed naked and suck each others dicks in the shower."

My brows furrow at "dicks" and even drunk, he realizes his error.

"That's not right." He complains, rubbing his tired eyes.

"I don't have a penis, Nikki." I remind him and he gawks.

"I hope not cause I've been seein' pussy anytime I look down there." He says, looking directly at me with wide eyes and I have to try my hardest not to start cackling.

"You need to go to sleep." I move off of him, gently tugging at his hand to get him to move to his side of the bed.

"I got it." He waves me off, dragging himself to his spot, not bothering with the covers before laying down.

He's asleep within a couple minutes and I exhale, getting on my side of the bed before cutting the lamp on my bedside table out and going to sleep.

The next few days are spent scrambling to put together decent Christmas plans, which include picking Tansy up from the airport after she calls and gives us a heads up she's coming to visit.

"What do you mean you won't have time, Vince?" I snap, smearing icing on a cake. "You've had since January of this year to save December 23!"

"Beth doesn't wanna come." He finally says after minutes of going back and forth over the phone about why he can't come to dinner tonight.

"Then leave Beth at home! We all agreed last year to celebrate Thanksgiving and Christmas together every year."

"If Beth doesn't want to come, I can't come." He explains as Nikki and Mick come in with the beer and more Vodka and Jack.

"Well, no one told you to marry the uppity bitch, Vince." I state rudely, Nikki raising his brows at my language.

"Look, I love you, but I can't make it. I'm sorry, I promise I'll make it up to you." He sighs out and I stay silent for a second.

"Did I mention it's also my birthday today? Are you really gonna ditch me, you're favorite red head, on my birthday?" I ask him, in a tone that hopefully sends him on a guilt trip. He doesn't answer me for a good two minutes before groaning.

"You are fuckin’ killing me, Viv." He tells me and I smile, knowing I'm getting my way. "Fine. I'll be there."

"Thank you, Vince." I say before he hangs up. "He is way too easy." Just as I finish saying it, Nikki's digging his finger into the tub of icing and smearing it down my face.

"Nikki!" I scold loudly, grabbing a paper towel to wipe it off my face but before I can, his tongue sweeps across my cheek and I scrunch my face up, not able to hold back the laughter in my throat as he licks the mess off my face, finally giving me a paper towel when he's done. "Beth wasn't gonna let Vince come tonight."

"Oh, no. How awful." Mick pipes sarcastically.

"First of all, it's my birthday. Second of all, it's tradition." I point out o him.

"Not really. We only spent celebrated your birthday and Christmas in one night last year because we were too broke for two different occasions." Nikki says, opening a beer and I give him a look, causing him to pause, look at me, look at Mick, then back to me, and say: "That fucking bitch was about break our tradition."

"Smooth." Mick mumbles to him.

"I need someone here who actually cares about sentiment. Where's Tommy?" I ask, continuing to glop and spread icing on the cake I've just made.

"Tommy's getting Tansy." Nikki tells me. "Like you told him to do, then Tansy's gonna grab all the stuff you'll need to make dinner. It will be fine. Calm down."

"I'm calm." I argue in a not-so-calm tone.

"Yeah, I'm gonna get started on this so I can endure your bitching all day." He opens the bottle of Jack and takes a big gulp.

"Then you'll be drunk tonight and you can't be drunk tonight." I take the bottle out of his hand.

"Then I'll get stoned." He states, stepping to our bedroom. After a moment, he's coming back in to the kitchen, seeming to be pissed off. "Where the fuck is my--"

"I hid it." I say without hesitation, looking over my shoulder at his expression. "It's my birthday."

"I haven't spent one night sober since I can remember. You're not changing that all because it's your fucking birthday. Give me my stuff back, Saint Vivian."

"Mick, tell the Devil's Spawn to 'man up' because one night sober will not kill him."

"Mick doesn't get a say in it because you're still letting him drink!" Nikki exclaims, motioning to the silent man on the couch who's nursing from his vodka.

"Mick has special privileges because he's the most responsible one out of you four any other time of the year." I finally finish icing the cake, turning to face Nikki, who's staring at me.

"Mick's fuckin' stayin' outta this fight and every fight after it." Mick states, leaving no room for discussion.

"We're not fighting." I insist. "We're having a slight disagreement."

"Which will be resolved the second Mother Mary gives me back my freedom." Nikki says.

"Since when does alcohol and psychoactive drugs have anything to do with freedom?"

"Since I was able to do them freely until I started having to put up with you." He argues.

"Put up with me? You say that like you just tolerate me." I cross my arms.

"Anytime I do something you don't think is good enough for you, you give me this look like I just shot a puppy. I can't breathe the wrong way without you looking down on me."

"Probably because when you 'breathe the wrong way', you're actually breathing wrong, do to all the depressants and stimulants you load into your body simultaneously!" I outburst. "I don't look at you that way because I'm judging you, I look at you that way because I'm hoping you won't over do it and croak over, so forgive me for not wanting you snorting and drinking everything in sight tonight because I would like my boyfriend to not risk dying on my birthday but apparently that's too much to ask for, so go for it!"

I'm expecting him to give me the look he's always given me when I try to tell him not to drink, pop pills or snort anything, but he doesn't. I guess it's because it's my birthday.

Before he can answer, someone's clearing their throat, and we snap our attention to the front door, seeing Tansy.

"Welcome to hell." Mick tells her, and she looks at me and Nikki hesitantly, as if she's thinking about turning back around and leaving. I'm sure she is until Tommy pops up behind her, arms full of groceries and a wide, excited smile on his face. Completely oblivious.

"Happy Birthday!" He pipes, walking in to set the bags on the counter and hug me tightly, picking me up. Nikki and I continue to glare at each other while I'm looking over Tommy's shoulder, and when he puts me back down, the two of us put on fake smile so he won't know we're fighting.

"Hey, babe, where do I need to put this?" A man that has to be at least 30 years old is walking in to our apartment, talking to Tansy while holding a Tupperware container.

"What is it?" I ask him, thinking it's food, taking the container.

"Oh, Smack." He says casually and I'm dropping the container in a matter of milliseconds, taking a step back and looking at Nikki with raised brows.

"Vivian!" Tansy complains, picking the container up, going to put it in the fridge but I block her way. "Oh, so, what? All the things these idiots pump themselves full of, you draw the line at heroin?" She asks me.

"I am the line." I inform her. "I am not keeping some stranger's drugs in my fridge."

"It's not some random stranger, it's Sparkie." She explains to me as if that makes me and the man best friends. "My boyfriend." She continues.

"I figured that." I reply.

"Why do they call you Sparkie?" Nikki asks him, skeptically.

Sparkie was an absolute idiot. Think of what strung out, worn down, one shoot up away from being dragged to hell, looks like. He looked like a walking corpse with a peculiar hue of blue to his skin and had sleeves of tattoos to try to mask his track marks, to no avail. A few of his back teeth had rotted out and it was evident anytime he opened his mouth to speak. His bleached blonde hair had grown out to his chest and his pitch black roots were greasy due to lack of bathing. He had frown lines, crows feet, smile lines and greyed facial hair along his jaw. Tansy claimed they had met on the set of one of her photoshoots and he was the photographer's assistant and said that he told her he fell madly in love after laying eyes on her for the first time. Well, Tansy was gorgeous, but she was also naked and posing for Playboy at the photoshoot where they met, so he might've confused wanting to have sex with her with wanting to date her. I prayed he'd only be temporary, but he managed to hang around for five more years until the two of them broke up during the "Girls" tour. I was stunned when she went from dating someone like Sparkie, to dating someone like Axl Rose.

"Freebasing accident. Ether's easy to catch on fire, man." He tells him with a chuckle and I feel multiple brain cells die.

"Fuckin' awesome, right, dude?" Tommy asks as he hits Nikki's shoulder and Nikki looks at me with a smug expression, knowing it's killing me to keep my mouth shut.

"We have room in the fridge, right, Viv?" Nikki asks me innocently and I roll my jaw, looking at Tansy's perfect smile, as if she's silently begging us to like her boyfriend.

"Absolutely." I say, taking the container from Tansy and putting it in the fridge before me and her start cooking dinner.

By the time Seven o'clock is rolling around, dinner's done and Vince is waltzing through the front door.

"Hey, Viv," He comes up behind me in the kitchen while I'm washing my hands, kissing my cheek as he puts a present on the counter.

"Hey," I greet him, seeing Beth occupied with talking to Tansy.

"Who's...?" He nods in Sparkie's direction and I turn the sink off and get in his ear.

"Tansy's boyfriend, Sparkie. His White China is in my fridge and he got his name after a freebasing accident." I educate him and he raises his brows, an amused smile pulling at his lips.

"Tansy's dating him?" He whispers and I nod.

"Jesus," He mumbles, watching as she comes over to us to hug him.

"Vince!" She greets him eagerly, throwing her arms around him and he pulls her to him tightly, catching an evil look from his wife.

"Hey, Tans," He says when she pulls away.

"C'mon and meet my boyfriend." She grabs his hand and pulls him to the living room.

"Um, hey, Devil-Spawn, I need your help for a second." I tell Nikki and he looks up from his conversation with Sparkie and rolls his eyes, stepping to the kitchen.

"What?" He asks me and I drag him to the bathroom, shutting the door and locking it.

"Tansy's dating a loser." I voice out immediately and he gives me a look.

”I thought you wanted a quickie. Had I known you were just gonna bit--"

"He's a moron. 'Ether's flammable'? 'Put my smack in the fridge'?" I mock his voice.

"He didn't say the last one."

"Tansy is too naïve for someone like him." I ignore him. "She doesn't know what she's getting herself in to being with someone like that."

"I'm someone like that." Nikki reminds me and I scoff.

"Um, you don't carry a Tupperware of Smack with you, you're not burning yourself in ether explosions, you're not taking advantage of a beautiful blonde girl who just wants to make everybody happy..." I list a few things Sparkie's doing. "Look, I'm not worried about me doing anything because I have the will power of God when it comes to drugs and alcohol but Tansy will do the most ridiculous, disgusting, debasing things to make someone happy. Trust me, she's told me some of the things she felt like she had to do in order to keep some of her past boyfriends and I'm scared he's gonna get her hooked on some of his mess because he'll figure out if he asks her to do anything, she'll do it." I explain to him and he sighs.

"Maybe she's not as naïve as you think she is. I mean, it's been over a year since you last saw each other, so it's possible she's changed and knows exactly what she's doing." He tries to reassure me.

"I'd rather her be oblivious and naïve to the severity of the situation than knowingly be waltzing in to her own self-destruction." I state blankly.

"I wonder who all's gonna be saying that about you when they find out you're with me." Nikki says pointedly and I open my mouth to speak, but close it again.

"You're right. She's a big girl who can take care of herself and I'm being judgmental of Sparkie." I admit.

"You're admitting you're wrong?" He asks me in pretend shock, leaning closer to me, putting the palm of his hand flat on the door beside my head and I cross my arms and avoid looking at him.

"I guess." I mumble, not liking the fact I have to admit I'm wrong and he knows it, basking in the glory.

"Viv?" He asks and I look at the bathroom floor, still not acknowledging him. "Hey," He grabs my jaw gently, forcing me to look at his darkly lined eyes. "You have such a big heart, you worm your way in to other people's lives to try to get them to not make decisions that you wouldn't make, to protect them. But just because you wouldn't choose to do something, doesn't mean it's a wrong choice for someone else."

"Snorting coke and throwing back shots until you can't stand up, isn't a good choice for anyone." I already know what he's getting at and he sighs, stomping his foot.

"If I hear one more 'dude' from Sparkie without some kind of buffer in my system, I'm gonna knock his head into the fuckin' counter, Viv." He states, pointing his finger in the direction of the living room.

"You're doing great." I tell him, taking the hand he's pointing his finger with and hold it in both of my hands. "We only have to deal with him for a few more minutes and then everyone will be gone, and we'll have the place to ourselves," I say, taking one of the chains of his few necklaces around his neck and running it threw my fingers, pulling him to me. "And I'll let you do whatever you want."

His expression darkens at my promise, his lips pulling upward in to a crooked smile as his hands move to my hips and he guides me to the sink, picking me up and putting me on the edge of it,

He's putting himself between my open legs, his finger tips gripping at the flesh of my thigh as his other hand is hiking my maroon dress up, his tongue dancing with mine. I push the thin straps of my dress of my shoulders and his lips leave mine when he yanks the top of my dress down to expose my breasts. Just as his teeth are biting a trail down my skin, the door swings open, causing me and Nikki to scramble to get ourselves off of each other, but it's too late.