#(so idk not doing great all around k need to be like centered & calmed down & brought back to reality)

[theha1r]

hi i’m awake & it’s literally one fucking am & i’ll maybe try to be online to write soon tbh but rn i’m trying really hard to vibe & calm down but i feel really weird & off & anxious & icky like i do every time i sleep late into the middle of the night & wake up with everyone else asleep. like i can’t explain it but it makes the vibes very off. not to mention i had some weird dreams which i can’t really remember but can still indeed remember the anxious feeling they caused & idkkk i’m just trying to vibe but it’s something rn

[youngster-monster]

Thing is, Robert may treat him like garbage, but it’s not like he deserves better. Cassidy knows what he’s worth, and it’s not a nice dinner date on the beach. Robert settling for him is the best he’ll ever do.

(The only man who ever thought he was worth anything more than a quick fuck died, and not a day passes without him thinking Amanda would better off if it had been the other way around.)

So he follows him home once, twice, thrice and doesn’t think about the way the air feels colder at five a.m when you’re still trying to put your shirt on and definitely not running away. He sneaks home with bites on his collarbones and scratch marks down his back like a teenager who’s been mauled by a rabid wolf and went back for more, and tells himself this too shall pass like his therapist told him to, back when he was still seeing one.

He keeps the window open to remind himself it’s colder outside than it is inside.

His daughter is happy and going to a great college and the man who fucked him against a wall last night won’t even look him in the eyes when he calls their stupid thing off because Cassidy got too attached again.

Saying that he has conflicting feelings about this party would be an understatement.

But Cassidy is a father and he might not be all that great at it but he always does his best, so he smiles and smiles and plays with the lighter in his pocket with restless fingers.

They’re lively and loud: it helps, somewhat, to see Craig’s familiar grin and Mat’s flower crown, to hear Joseph’s calm voice in the chaos of his mind. They’re all terribly nice and it hurts ever so slightly each time he catches a glimpse of Robert in the corner of his eye, but he’s fine. He’s having fun, to a point.

It feels like he’s been holding his breath forever but it’s not what makes his chest burns and his eyes water. He feels sluggish, trapped, like he’s underwater and he can’t breach the surface.

The only way is down, now.

Craig is the last to leave, and he does so with a worried glance in his direction that he waves away, cheerful and terrified. Craid knew him in college, during the darkest period of his life, and that’s the look he always got whenever Cassidy did something so stupid even Kegstand Craig disapproved of it.

 After his departure, there’s nothing and no one left but Cassidy and Amanda and the setting sun bleeding gold all over the city.

“Ugh, cleaning.”

Old habits die hard and come back to life quicker than he expected. He says, “That’s a problem for tomorrow us,” and drags himself inside.

“That’s irresponsible,” Amanda grins. “I like it. Tomorrow me won’t, though.”

“Who cares.” Not a question. Cassidy ‘Rhetoric’ McGregor: that’s him. Then, “Ice cream?”

“Hell yes.”

No one can say no to ice cream

It’s quiet now that they’re alone: there’s the distant sound of the city, away from their suburban center, and birds chirping out of sight. Amanda is chattering about the party and the Emmas and college, all at once and too fast for him to hope to catch anything more than every other word so he just nods and hums at appropriate moments.

He doesn’t remember a single moment of that damn party.

--

Amanda gets up at 3 a.m for a glass of water. She almost missed him in the darkness, but the light of the streetlamps outside catches on his piercings for a second and she notices the mess that calls itself her father sprawled on their couch, wide awake and staring at the ceiling.

“You alright, pops?”

He sounds a little choked up when he says, “I‘m fine, Manda. Go back to sleep.”

He doesn’t look away from the ceiling. A notification pops up on his phone with a ding, quickly followed by three more, and he flinches, but that’s the only movement he makes. He doesn’t move to check what it’s about, or to turn his phone off. He just— stares.

Amanda walks back to her room without another word.

--

[Robert - 3:12 a.m]

hey

hey cassidy

hey

wanna hang out

in my bed

naked

?

--

Cassidy holds it together until Amanda is off to college. It’s a good score. He’s a little proud of himself for that.

The first thing he does when he comes back from the 14-hours long trip is to grab the bottle of wine he bought for pasta night and forgot in the cupboard and drink straight from it. It’s pretty mild but he’s tired and sad and it’s the only alcohol in the house so it’ll do.

--

[Craig - 5:25 p.m]

Hey bro! Join me @ the gym tomorrow?

[Cassidy - 6 p.m]

No can do bro

I’m exhausted

Sorry

[Craig - 6:02 p.m]

Oh yeah I forgot

Amanda’s all settled?

[Cassidy - 6:02 p.m]

Yup

[Craig - 6:03 p.m]

K, rest well bro

--

[Mat - 4 p.m]

A small punk band I know is playing in town tonight

Wanna come?

[Cassidy - 4:02 p.m]

Idk

Might just stay home tonight

Thanks

--

After that, it only gets darker, and blurrier.

It’s easy to go back to old bad habits if you’ve never gave them up so much as you put them on hold. God, he’s always been a mess, kept together by sheer spite and the knowledge that he won’t ever forgive himself if he fucks up his daughter. She’s the only good thing he’s ever brought into this world.

He alternates between cigarettes and alcohol to keep things interesting. The former he burns himself on, sometimes accidentally and sometimes not. The later he knocks back like he’s running from something and it burns not quite so differently when it goes down.

He loses track at some point and wakes up on his floor or his couch or in a back alley somewhere he doesn’t know with a pounding headache and a few blurry memories of the night before. He gets blackouts more often than not: it’s better that way. He avoids Jim and Kim’s: it feels like running away but there’s no one to tell him that.

The nights he doesn’t feel like forgetting everything, he picks up fights.

One of those nights finds him in a back alley that feels vaguely familiar, like somewhere he passed out before, getting punched in the face by a guy a foot taller that might be an ex-con — but not for much longer if he keeps hitting like that.

Cassidy looks up and he’s grinning with blood in his hair from a nasty cut above his eyebrow, blood everywhere from his bleeding nose. He can only taste copper and cheap beer and smiling hurts from where the guy’s ring opened his lips but he feels more alive than ever.

His highest is always half an hour away from his lowest. By the end of the night he’ll probably look and feel like roadkill, but  right now he’s alright. He already can’t feel his fingers anymore and his ribs have taken it upon themselves to be felt twice as much as usual to compensate. One or two of them might be bruised, but if it’s the case he’s a little (a lot) too drunk to notice.

Then he must pass out for a second, because he blinks and suddenly he’s against a wall and someone’s talking instead of hitting.

“What the hell, Cassidy?”

“Oh, hey Robert.” He’s still grinning and it hurts like hell. His vision is swimming. He grins harder. “I can’t feel my face.”

“Yeah, getting beaten up in an alley tends to do that to you. What did you do?”

“Dunno. Asked for it.” He chuckles, then winces when that pulls on his bruises. Shit, he’s felt better back when he was going through withdrawal.

A hand cradles his jaw, tilts his head. He squints when a street light shines right into his eyes, watches everything go blurry and soft through his eyelashes. Well, the blurry part was already there before, but the softness is new. Like the fingers on his skin, prodding new bruises with an odd sort of not-quite-gentleness, leaving a trail of warmth in their path.

“You look like shit.”

“Y’should see the other guy.” That reminds him- “Where… where did he go, an’way?”

Robert jerks his head to the side. Cassidy can just make out someone lying prone on the ground, in a puddle of something indescribable. “He sure did a number on you before that though. Must have pissed him off something fierce.”

“Haha, yeah.” He sighs, lets his eyes close all the way. Robert’s hand lingers on his face, thumb pressed lightly against his cheekbone. Maybe it’ll stay right there if he doesn’t bring attention to it.

But Robert’s smart about those things. About getting too close, literally or not. He draws back and Cassidy holds on to his smile like a lifeline, because there’s being pathetic and there’s being desperate and he’s not about to remind Robert that right now he’s very much both of these.

“Come on. I have a first aid kit in my car.”

“Weren’t you g’na do- y’know. Alcohol?”

“Do alcohol. Right. But somehow I found a human wreck on my way, so-”

“Don’t be like that.” He opens his eyes, even though it feels like the most effort he’s ever done in his life, and waves his hand in a vague shooing manner. “Go on. Get. ‘m fine.”

An aggravated sigh, before Robert grabs his arm and throws it around his shoulders. He hoists Cassidy up and starts walking, dragging him more than he’s carrying him. Cassidy feels hot from the tips of his fingers to his left hip, every point of contact radiating warmth. It’s a nice change from the cold.

God, he’s so cold.

A door opens and then he’s all but dropped on a car seat, only avoiding hitting his head on the top of the door by going completely lax as soon as no one’s holding him up. He slumps against the side of the seat while Robert goes to rummage around the front seat.

“I’m g’nna get blood all over your shit,” he whines.

“Don’t remind me. I’ll fax you the cleaning bill.”

He giggles. “You don’t have a fax.”

Robert comes back with a box in his hands, opens it to reveal the promised first aid kit. “You don’t know that.”

True. But- “I don’t have a fax.”

“That I can believe. Hold still.”

He smiles and stays very still, doesn’t even wince at the sting of disinfectant on his cuts. He’s had worse, but it never feels pleasant, doesn’t it? Only gets easier to bear.

For some definition of it, anyway.

He watches Robert through heavy lidded eyes as he works silently, cleaning every new wound and slapping a band-aid on any that needs it. He prods one of them for a moment longer, a deep gash from a broken bottle he didn’t see coming quickly enough.

“You’re lucky this doesn’t need stitches, because I draw the line at driving you to the ER at two a.m.”

“I could’ve stit- stich- stitched it up m’self.” God, words are hard. The alcohol’s hitting harder now, like it was just waiting for the right moment to remind him of the shots he was doing before the itch got worse and he had to find something else to keep his hands busy.

Robert makes a dubious sound in the back of his throat. “Sure you could.”

“I swear!” He jerks back and rolls up his sleeve with clumsy fingers to reveal another wound. It’s a week old, still held closed with his own shitty stitches, running through old track marks his arm is a connect-the-dots game. “Look!”

Robert recoils, frowning down at him as he pushes his arm down. “That looks like it was done by a drunk rat on crack.”

He gives it a serious second of thought before nodding. “Kinda was,” he says, because Robert isn’t the first person to call him a rat and at this point the moniker is almost starting to sound affectionate. Even though thinking ‘Robert’ and ‘affectionate’ in the same sentence hurts him, a bit, in that ‘old bruise you can’t stop touching’ kind of way. “‘xcept for the crack thing, ‘cus I’m clean, baby. Did ya know I’m clean? Did I- I… did I tell ya? Clean as a fucking…. Baby out of the bath, man.”

There’s something in Robert’s eyes he doesn’t know what to make of, something weird and not really soft, but not like the hard edge when he told him they were done, either. Then it’s gone and he gets up, closes the first aid kit with a snap and throws it on the front seat.

“You smell like a distillery. That’s not what I’d call clean.”

Cassidy leans back until he’s lying down across the backseat, staring through the window at the street light that blurs through his eyelashes. “‘s not the same though.”

Robert makes a soft sound. “No, I guess it isn’t.”

A moment passes. Then he’s being dragged up again, his legs pushes all the way inside as Robert wrestles a seatbelt around him. He tries to help for a bit but his hands always seem to get in the way, as they always do, and in the end he just tries to remain still in his confusion while Robert does his thing.

“What’re y’doing?”

“Getting you home.” Robert gets behind the wheel and turns the car on. “I’m not letting you walk all the way back to your house in that state.”

Cassidy thinks about objecting. Then, he thinks about nicer things, like the feeling of Robert’s hand on his cheek, his hot breath on the back of his neck, his nails clawing down his spine, stumbling out of this car together and through the door, into the bedroom and on the bed. Then, when the emptiness in his chest threatens to swallow him, he chokes out a, “That’s v’ry nice of you.”

“Please don’t throw up in my car.”

He doesn’t. He stays very quiet and very still for the drive back, slumped against the window, struggling to stay awake. He doesn’t manage it though because he wakes up with a start when the door opens, almost falls out if not for the seatbelt.

Robert has to carry him inside — really carry him this time, because his legs gave up somewhere between the bar and his house. He almost leaves Cassidy on his front step and then decides against it, goes through his pockets for his keys before unlocking the door one handed.

He drops him on his couch, kind of rearranging his limbs so he’s lying on his side before he draws back. Cassidy’s too tired to protest, and the better part of him knows it wouldn’t go well, anyway. But he wants to all the same. Wants Robert to stay close and maybe brush his hair out of his face and tells him he’s gonna be okay, like Alex used to do when things got really bad.

Instead he tucks his face in his arms until he can’t see the empty space in his living room and mumbles, “Thanks.”

He’s asleep before he can feel the weight of the blanket dropping on him, or hear the sound of the door closing after Robert — softly, quietly, so as to not wake him.

[artificialqueens]

The Devil Named Sharon Chapter 6 {shalaska} - imafuckinglibra

Let’s grab a gold switch blade and make us a blood pact, babe. Am I really using Manson lyrics as an intro…yes, yes I am. Also I’ve had a few beers so sorry about errors. Idk what to put here so idk we learn about Sharon, she gets fluffy and a little itty bit of smut. As always leave notes, anons or message me with your thoughts k bye.

“I won’t break yours either…”

The words replayed in both women’s minds in the ride home, Alaska’s thoughts still unsure after the conversation she had with Raja and Jinkx. Was Sharon really as insecure and sensitive as they made her out to be?

The answer was yes and if she could read Sharon’s mind she’d have known that. In fact her own insecurities were exactly what was on Sharon’s mind.

She had taken a risk in calling Alaska her girlfriend and flaunting her around like that. Being a bullied weirdo from a small town in Iowa had taken it’s toll on her.

In her teen years drugs, horror movies and fashion were her escape from it all, that’s why she and Chad became friends in the first place. They were the only bullied weirdo’s who listened to Electric Hellfire Club and knew who Vincent Price were.

“Fucking Christ,” Sharon unzipped and stepped out of her leather thigh high boots, making her way now barefoot to the kitchen for a glass of much needed wine. “You know I go to that every year and it never fails to exhaust me.”

Alaska hesitantly followed her down the hall after placing her clutch next to Sharon’s on the dark wooden table by the front door. Despite being to the apartment many a time before this time it felt different, Sharon didn’t rush her in straight to the bedroom. She acted far more casual and relaxed, taking her time with her every move.

“Honey, you want a glass?” The woman’s voice yelled from behind the big fridge door.

“Honey?” Alaska repeated leaning over the island in the center of the modern kitchen.

“Problem?” Sharon raised a brow, a hint of amusement in her voice.

Alaska bit her lip and shook her head causing some of her long blonde hair to fall over her face which Sharon’s long finger tucked back behind her ear.

She took out two glasses and poured them each a generous amount of a deep red wine, the color similar to the lipstick Alaska wore.

She handed the younger woman one of the glasses and made her way into the big living room attached to the kitchen. A room Alaska’s never been it.

It was dark, dimly lit with a big fireplace under a mirror framed in old classic Hollywood fashion. A thick grey rug in the center of the room under a round glass coffee table with candles on it.

The wall next to the fireplace was just a giant bookshelf filled with various fashion, horror, vintage issues of runway and other fashion magazines and books so old you could barely make out what they were. Photo frames of Sharon and numerous loved ones and friends scattered in between.

The chair next to the fireplace looking like an exact replica of Elvira’s making Alaska fangirl inside a little. Sharon sat down in a bigger, matching throne like chair next to it and patted her thigh making the girl quickly sprint up to her to sit on her lap.

Holding the glass of wine in one hand and rubbing Alaska’s back with the other Sharon leaned her head into Alaska’s shoulder closing her eyes. The night had truly exhausted her and right now all she wanted to do was to fade away into her girlfriend.

The warmth of the body she clung onto so calming it felt like she was going to fall asleep right then and there. “Hm,” she absentmindedly sighed tilting her head up to place a kiss on Alaska’s jaw. “I know I promised you answers but think we should finish these and head to bed, what do you think my love?”

Alaska’s heart skipped a beat at the affection and the mention of a bed. “I’d…I’d like that. You sure about me, you know, staying?”

This was the first time she’d actually be spending the night, in 2 weeks of being called over regularly Sharon had never let her stay longer than 10 minutes after they finished. The thought kind of terrified the shit out of her so she quickly swallowed another big gulp of wine.

“I just spent the evening calling you my girlfriend and slow dancing with you, but spending the night scares you?” Sharon laughed taking another sip too.

“I…you have a good point.” Alaska blushed and Sharon tilted her chin down with the hand holding her glass, kissing her softly.

“If you don’t want to I’ll call you a cab?”

“No, I want to be with you.” Alaska breathed out against her lips going in for another kiss.

“Then let’s get you undressed.” Sharon tapped her back to get her to stand up. Taking her hand in the process leading her out of the room and up the stairs.

She took her glass and placed it on the nightstand besides hers, turning around back to her to undress her. With her hand cupping the younger’s cheek and the other on her back she pulled her in for a tender kiss.

The taste of fine wine lingering on their tongues as well as the faint taste of Sharon’s cigarette. She pulled back unzipping her gown and as she pulled it down the petite body she placed kisses on each new exposed piece of skin.

They weren’t rushed, they weren’t hungry or lust filled - they were gentle and loving.

Unlike the past where she ripped off Alaska’s undergarments this time she slid her hands up her thighs admiring the soft flesh before hooking her fingers into the lace and slid them off carefully allowing her to step out of them and her shoes.

“Can I?” Alaska asked when Sharon stood up resuming their make out session. The older woman’s eyes flicking between hers unsure before she hesitantly nodded.

This was another first for Alaska, Sharon never undressed in front of her and never let her touch her. Even when Sharon was in just a garter or even nothing the lights were dimmed to the point where only shapes could be seen.

She reached around feeling for the zipper as she placed soft pecks on Sharon’s full black lips. Moving her lips down peppering kisses down her jaw when she finally started removing the garment.

Her lips moving down her newly exposed neck and further down her collarbone. With her eyes closed Sharon brought up her hands running her fingers through Alaska’s hair when she felt the cold air hit her chest.

Alaska’s mouth shortly after replacing the fabric. Mimicking the way the older had taken off her dress.

Now in just her lingerie she felt exposed, despite her confident facade Sharon hated being naked. She hated her own skin out of her high fashion armor. Years of bullying tends to do that to a person, even the great Sharon Needles herself.

Alaska savored every moment of finally getting to touch Sharon without being punished for it and slid her hands up her rounded thighs, over her ass, hips and up to her breasts. Cupping them in her hands to finally feel how soft and full they were, especially in her tiny hands.

“You’re beautiful…you’re so…” Alaska was interrupted when Sharon cupped her face and pulled her in for a much needed kiss.

Slowly twirling her around in the process so they could land on the bed with her on top without having to break their lips apart.

Sharon’s hand found it’s way down between their bodies, her fingers grazing over Alaska’s clit to her entrance. Feeling how wet she already was and working her fingers up and down between her smooth folds spreading the slickness all over.

Alaska whimpering softly into their kiss moving her hips up in unison with Sharon’s fingers. Alaska’s hand moved down mirroring the one against her until Sharon started moving her hips onto her hand. The younger acknowledged the hint by sliding the two fingers into her.

Letting Sharon control the smooth rhythm, slowly moving her hips onto the fingers at a steady pace not rushing anything.

Sharon reached behind them to position Alaska’s legs exactly where they needed to go and rested both elbows next to her face so she could easily kiss her as their hips moved, keeping their bodies pressed against one another.

This was intimate, more intimate than Alaska had ever thought the woman possible. Their bodies so tightly together leaving room for nothing in their minds except one another as they rolled their hips rhythmically in perfect synchronization.

Their breathing became heavier when they picked up their pace. Their foreheads still together so they could look into each other’s eyes, Alaska’s big brown ones staring up at Sharon’s furrowed brows and the lip caught between her teeth to silence her moans.

The sight of the older woman so lost in ecstasy causing a heat to boil inside Alaska. Their was no pain, no rules, no punishments or rewards. Nothing else. Just Sharon.

“…Sharon…” Alaska breathed out closing her eyes as her orgasm crashed over her. Sharon’s climax following soon after kissing her deeply to trap their moans between them.

They stayed still catching their breath for a few seconds softly making out till Sharon rolled them over. Now on their sides with their legs still interwoven and their lips still interlocked. After what felt like a lifetime their kissing died down turning into soft pecks.

“My stunning Alaska.” Sharon whispered caressing her cheek with the back of her hand, she could tell by the way the younger’s eyes were slowly falling closed she was just as dead tired as she was. “Goodnight, my love.”

Alaska leaned forward placing another small peck on her lips and nuzzled her face into Sharon’s chest when she pulled her tighter into her. “…goodnight…”

‘Sharon.’ Alaska thought when she woke up and felt soft satin under her fingers instead of the smooth skin she was expecting.

“Sharon?” She repeated out loud this time. Getting no answer she opened her eyes to double check where she was.

‘Bedroom. Okay…I know this.’ She got up looking around for literally any item of clothing to cover up.

She felt like a cliched lead in a bad rom com after a hook up covering herself with some sheets looking for clothes. She laughed the shame off when she found the panties Sharon had slipped off her the previous night neatly put aside for her along with a baggy Manson shirt.

“Manson? Really?” She asked when she spotted Sharon sitting against a counter in the kitchen.

She looked so human Alaska barely recognized her, she was in a long sleeved black shirt and lace panty reading through some mock edit of a future Runway.

Her long bleached blonde hair messy and hanging loosely over her face and over her thick rimmed glasses, glasses which she pushed back in place by scrunching up her nose.

‘Fuck that’s adorable.’

Sharon obviously hadn’t heard or even noticed her coming in so Alaska savored the moment, lingering in the doorway just watching her read.

A smile creeping onto her face at how small and precious the larger than life woman looked when she thought she was alone.

“Shit! Fuck!” Sharon suddenly jumped up grabbing a spatula when suddenly the sound of something crackling on the stove intensified.

Alaska leaned further back behind the wall so Sharon couldn’t see her and she could continue her peeping.

“Don’t burn!” Sharon scolded the food in the pan pointing furiously at it with the utensil. “Little girl, little girl you should close your eyes, that blue is getting me high making me low.” Sharon sang barely audible, it probably would’ve sounded like just humming to anyone who didn’t recognize the Manson song.

Alaska’s heart warmed up at the fact that the big fancy Sharon Needles was a Marilyn Manson fan and that the shirt wasn’t just a fluke, she was a full fledged fan.

“You thuck.” Sharon insulted her own cooking taking a bite of whatever was in the pan. She stilled all movements and flicked her eyes around mimicking a deer on a nature channel who just heard a crack. “…I know you’re there…”

“No you don’t.”

Sharon turned to where the sound was coming from and glared at the young woman with her hands on her hips, now back to the all work and no play Needles she knew.

“Didn’t know you’re secretly emo.” Alaska joked walked closer but Sharon held up her hand halting her.

“Wait here, there’s coffee.” Sharon waved in the general direction of the coffee maker and disappeared god knows where. Probably the bathroom considering she came back a few minutes later with a packet of make up wipes and…

“Sweatpants?” Alaska thought out loud eyeing the bundled up fabric in her hands.

She placed the make up wipes on the island and lifted both arms up, showing Alaska the items in her hands. “Sweatpants or yoga pants?”

“Hm…Sweatpants. Just because I never thought you actually owned any, but I also never thought I’d hear you singing Heart-Shaped glasses.” She joked and watched Sharon roll her eyes, a hint of red in her cheeks.

She bent down and slapped her thighs so she’d step into the tight black tights, taking the opportunity to slap her ass when she pulled it up.

“You will mention this to no one!” She emphasized how serious she was by waving a finger in her face before cupping her cheeks and giving her a small kiss. “Good morning, dear.”

“Good morning, beautiful.” Alaska smiled into the kiss leaning in for another.

“We forgot something last night, Raja will kill us.” Sharon sighed taking a wipe out of the little blue packet.

“Oh shit our make up. Where’s yours?” She asked when Sharon cupped her one cheek while wiping the other clean.

“I’ve been up for hours.”

“Vampires don’t sleep.” Alaska nodded. The seriousness in which she said it making Sharon burst into laughter.

“Good one.” She put the wipe down and examined her handy work. Leaning into her neck she grazed her teeth along the soft flesh but instead of biting it like Alaska expected she gave her a soft kiss. “But no we don’t.”

Alaska giggled from the touch on her neck tickling her which made the hand still on her cheek give her a playful small slap.

“Breakfast is ready, pour me another cup while I plate up.” Sharon smiled giving her another small slap.

The food was immaculate as if it was something made in a high class restaurant despite being a simple omelette with what tasted like multiple different cheeses in. The food she was scolding earlier turned out to be grilled cherry tomatoes with some kind of herbs sprinkled on top.

“Do you have any plans for lunch?” Sharon asked midway through the meal taking a sip of coffee.

“Just lunch with the usual crowd I guess.”

Sharon reached over and wiped the corners of Alaska’s mouth with her thumb, “Do your roommates have plans?”

Alaska choked on her coffee but quickly held her hand over her mouth to hide her confused nervous laughter, “I don’t…I don’t think so, why?”

“Call them. The one uh, with the manly voice…”

“Willam?” Alaska snorted. If Willam heard that she would’ve killed her, she definitely had to save that to use against her roommate later.

“Willam, thank you.” Sharon nodded. “She said she wanted a bribe right? I’m taking you furniture shopping, my treat.”

Alaska didn’t know how to respond, this woman was actually crazy. Like legitimately fucking crazy.

“Are you serious?” Alaska laughed but by Sharon’s deadpan expression she could tell she was. “I…sure yeah, of course you are. Because that’s not…excessive. I’ll text them.”

“Good.” Sharon got up and put her plates to one side, giving Alaska a kiss on the cheek first. “I’m going to go shower, finish that and then come join me so we’re not late for work.”

Work. Shit. She forgot they actually had to go to work today. She sat still for a few seconds before texting her friends filling them in still in disbelief that this was even real. Just as she hit sent it hit her what Sharon said.

come join me

She jumped up so fast she nearly tripped over her own feet and jogged up behind Sharon giggling. The older woman turned around licking her top lip when she spotted her and the pair ran up the stairs hand in hand.

Sharon threw Alaska’s shirt off over her head, turned on the water and pushed her into the shower in what seemed like one easy move.

Removing her own shirt and joining her under the stream of hot water spraying down on them. She pushed Alaska back forcefully against the tiled wall with her hand on her chest, sliding it up to her neck as she leaned in closer.

With her fingers now wrapped around her throat and their lips brushing over each other she spoke in a harsh low growl. “Don’t think this changes anything. You’re still just my pet…”

“Send an appropriate thank you gift to Sasha Velour’s studio, I don’t care what just something fitting. You can ask Raja or Danny for assistance with that they usually deal with that type.” Sharon tapped her thigh when they were in the car on their way to work.

Alaska made the necessary note and turned her gaze to Sharon’s hand on her knee, admiring the big ruby ring the older woman was wearing. It matched the red of the dress Alaska was wearing, the idea of matching looks being a little cliched for a couple to do but it was subtle enough that she doubted anyone would notice.

After their steamy shower Sharon had picked out an outfit for her and she had to admit she had impeccable taste. No wonder she was the editor in chief of Runway.

Alaska looked and felt absolutely stunning. It was a simple small red leather dress that clung so tightly to her body every petite part of her body could be shown off.

Sharon on the other hand wore in true Needles fashion a tight black also leather dress with sharp shoulders pads and a see through sheer strip running from her neck to just below her cleavage. Paring it with some inhumanly tall black heels and a red lip and ring that matched Alaska’s outfit.

“Are you really taking us furniture shopping?” Alaska finally asked.

“Of course, have to spoil my girl once in a while.” Sharon smiled pulling her face closer with her index finger and thumb on her chin for a quick kiss. “But work first then play.” She instructed when the car came to a halt.

After Sharon had gotten out with the driver holding the door open she held her hand out in her apparent chivalrous manner for Alaska to help her out.

With her arm possessively around Alaska’s waist much like Sasha would walk around with hers around Shae’s Sharon confidently strutted through the halls.

Alaska even noticed that she had a more confident step as if she had gotten a contact high from the woman holding onto her.

“Go get my coffee like a good little pet.” She tapped Alaska’s ass when they entered her office. Alaska stood still for a minute causing Sharon to stop dead in her tracks and turn around glaring at her. “Do I really need to repeat myself.”

Alaska gave her a hurt puppy look and she dramatically rolled her eyes giving her a quick peck. The young woman smiling victoriously when she turned around to go fetch their morning coffees.

“Someone looks happy.” Jinkx cooed walking into Sharon’s office spotting the blonde smiling to herself.

“I was till you showed up. When are you going back?” Sharon snarled in the ginger’s direction.

“Tomorrow morning, maybe you and the girlfriend can join us for dinner tonight?”

“Whatever you have to say about it get it over with now, some of us actually have work to do.”

“Are you happy?” Jinkx repeated in a serious tone, leaning closer over the desk to hold the now quiet Sharon’s hand. “And do you know what you’re doing? I’m just worried. After Justin, I’ve never been so scared of losing anyone in my life you know that and now Chad leaving I…”

“Let me stop you right there. I get that you’re concerned, it’s a friend’s job, but you do NOT get to come in here and talk about my relationships past or present.” Sharon ripped her hand free and sat back. “And you especially don’t get to talk about them behind my back.”

“Wha…Sharon when we talked to Alaska last night we were only trying to protect you? Did she really tell you?”

“She didn’t have to.” Sharon snapped causing Jinkx to sit back.

“Noodles. We were really only looking out for you, we’ve seen you fall head over heels way to quickly with someone and then you stop using your head. Can’t watch you…”

“Alaska is not Justin.” Sharon snapped again this time harsher. The rage brewing in her abdomen increased tenfold by the heartbreak from thinking about her ex.

Justin had been Sharon’s boyfriend for a brief period in college, before she and Chad ever even made their pact. She went into the relationship not because she wanted one but because with Chad away in another university she didn’t want to be alone.

Being alone has always been a fear lingering in the back of her mind, like the boogeyman creeping out under scared little girl’s bed.

That Justin would just be another notch in her bedpost was all she had expected, if only that was the case.

He was charming and sweet enough and kept her happy with ungodly amounts of meth, alcohol, cocaine and sex. Everything she thought she needed in a partner.

Being Sharon though her heart betrayed her and she quickly grew too codependent. Not helped that unlike the girls she picked up in bars he never left. And in his own fucked up way seemed to love her just as much as she did him.

That was until it all ended horribly after he cheated with some girl in Texas or Florida, or both. He never gave her the exact details.

She was so distraught and tried getting him back despite everything that happened and despite her roommates doing everything in their power to stop her but he kept rejecting her.

It was almost as heartbreaking for her roommates to watch as it was for her to go through.

Jinkx had watched her best friend nearly overdose, sleep for days on end, miss classes and tests, get arrested for driving under the influence to his house - even attempt suicide at one point.

She could see the signs of Sharon falling head over heels again and she couldn’t let it turn out the same way. Not again.

“She’s not Justin.” Jinkx nodded smiling half heartedly.

Sharon stood up gesturing to the door for her to get out. Instead she stepped closer to her friend and embraced her warmly throwing the blonde off guard.

“Thank you for putting up with me.” Sharon whispered returning the hug. She knew Jinkx was probably right, she didn’t like it, but she was.

She was falling head over heels for Alaska never even taking a breather to try and figure out why. Was it because she didn’t want to be alone or was it genuine?

Was it the way she drew her words out when she got bored? The way she sort of sucked her thumb in her sleep? Her knee wiggle? Her permanently tangled hair? How her eyes seemed to suddenly shimmer whenever she snuck a glimpse of Sharon?

“Your co…oh.” Speak of the devil. Alaska froze in the doorway realizing she had disturbed their moment. “I can…”

“No it’s fine.” Jinkx pulled back smiling at her friend. “I’ll see you tonight at 8, Bianca’s place. She’s cooking but don’t worry Raja and I will be there to supervise and yes Chad is coming…not that Chad.” She quickly turned around holding a hand up to reassure the panicky Alaska.

“Did you invite everyone we’ve ever known?” Sharon groaned signaling Alaska in and taking the cup from her.

“Kind of…Dela’s coming too, we’re flying back to Seattle together.” Jinkx blushed. Alaska didn’t know who Dela was but by the looks of it whoever they were they had quite the impact on Jinkx.

“Wear your seatbelt! You never know when your uber might crash and god forbid your driver dies!”

“You’re a bully!” Jinkx laughed walking into the hall.

Sharon let out an exhausted sigh and dropped into the black leather office chair with her fingers massaging her temples when the other woman was finally out of earshot. She didn’t even have to look at Alaska to know her knees were physically shaking. “Down.”

Alaska’s mouth flapped open unsure of what was happening even more so than 10 seconds ago. “Huh?”

“Down-uh.” Sharon ordered again drawing out the word, pulling her tight dress up with her free hand spreading her legs.

“Here?” Was her boss really asking her to eat her out right here? At work?

“Down. If I have to repeat myself again you will be punished and/or fired! Do you understand?” Sharon threatened still not looking at her with her fingers still rubbing away her headache.

Alaska quickly obliged and dropped to her knees hiding herself from the glass door and prying eyes behind the big white desk. She placed her hand on Sharon’s knees to pull them apart but her face was struck with a loud slap almost immediately.

Her hand automatically went up to her stinging cheek but Sharon was quicker than her and grabbed it, holding it away with a vice grip. She lifted the shocked face by the chin with her other hand and looked into Alaska’s eyes.

Sharon was back to being scary, down right terrifying actually. Her beautiful blue eyes that had been lovingly looking at the young woman over breakfast now dark with a sadistic twinkle in them.

“You will obey. Don’t forget who’s in charge here!” Sharon ordered in her harsh voice through gritted teeth before she let go of both her hand and her face and pushed her head between her thighs.

Alaska felt shaken, this woman had left her both extremely turned on and extremely petrified. How could someone who hummed while making omelettes and called her honey not even 30 minutes ago now be so rough and cold?

Being almost too scared that looking up at Sharon would count as a violation and earn her another slap she kept her eyes shut while she ate her out. Eager to do the best she could partly motivated by the ever present fear of punishment for a sloppy job.

Also because she could tell by the energy around the room when Jinkx left that Sharon herself was shaken by the conversation and needed this distraction.

And God knows what conversation could manage to shake the devil herself like that. When she felt the nails in her scalp digging harder into her flesh she knew Sharon was getting close to climaxing and couldn’t resist sneaking a peek.

She opened her big brown eyes lifting then to Sharon’s face and was met unexpectedly by the same hooded blue ones she had looked in right before falling asleep in her arms. Good to know there was some humanity left in her cold heart.

Their gazes stayed locked onto each other as Sharon bit down into her plump red bottom lip and bucked onto her tongue. After riding out her orgasm on Alaska’s face she grabbed the sides of her cheeks and pulled her hastily up.

From being pulled up so unexpectedly Alaska had to ground herself with her hands on Sharon’s thighs to avoid falling on top of her. She braced herself for another slap but was pleasantly surprised by Sharon hungrily crashing their lips together instead.

She leaned back slowly savoring every last second of Alaska’s lips on hers, she held the small face between her hands for a few seconds simply looking between her eyes. As if she was testing something or searching for something in them.

Alaska had noticed the sadistic mask had faded into the same vulnerable woman holding her tightly against her chest on the dance floor.

All the questions that were spinning around in Sharon’s mind after Jinkx’s discussion had been answered.

Alaska.

It wasn’t anything else. It was Alaska. Everything in her being, every fiber that made up Sharon Needles was begging for one thing and one thing only.

Alaska.

“No matter what anyone else says - you are mine.” Sharon whispered, her voice more sincere than ever before.

This wasn’t an order or a threatening reminder, this was a genuine declaration of love.

“Yours.”

[shannaro-kamo]

O—->>Naruto Tag Game <<—-O

thank you for the tag, @flirtsuke​ ! <3 I tag @ravenaveira, @team7fangirl, @sasu-thirst, @gaara-nara, @roraewrites, @its-naruto-universe, @starvingbloom, @omgsakuraqueen, and @mikayuuxzeki :)

F A V O R I T E

Female Character: Sakura

Male Character: Sasuke

Team: 7

Sensei: Kakashi

Hokage: Tsunade

Kage: Gaara

Village: Leaf or Sand

Akatsuki Member: Itachi

Jutsu: Byakugou seal

Episode/Chapter: the Sakura chapters in FOD, hands down

Fight Scene: Sasori fight and Haku & Zabuza, I guess? there are so many

Fanfiction: I don’t read much fanfic

Story Arc: chuunin exams

Filler: Kakashi’s mask

What is your…

OTP (explain why): SasuSaku, because her love for him is so genuine and selfless; she spent like all of her time after the curse mark just being worried sick about him. Sakura is really the only girl Sasuke has shown a soft spot for, and his regard for her feelings despite his volatile state speaks volumes to me.

NoTP (without being a dick, explain why): SNS and SK, because SNS is not about romance, and Karin said she was “done” with Sasuke--Sakura never truly did so. Karin also never tried to save Sasuke, and that alone makes me favor SS.

Crackship/s: KakaSaku lol

BroTP: SNS and NaruShika and NaruGaa

OT3: NaruSasuSaku. My blog is called team 7 orgy lol

Crossover ship: ummm never thought about it lol, the only real crossover I’ve considered is May from Pokemon + Sakura BrOTP because they’re my top tier waifus. I’ve also always liked the idea of a Pokemon-ninja verse because I’m not original!

M I S C E L L A N E O U S

Do you have any headcanons? - Sasuke was a soppy mess when Sarada was born lol

Are you happy with the ending? Would you have done things differently? - I am very happy with the endgame pairings, but I definitely would have developed them more. I would’ve done Kaguya / Madara differently, and I would’ve had some sort of mutual official apology between Konoha and the Uchiha take place after the war.

How do you feel about the Next Generation? - I love Sarada, but I feel that Boruto is too much like Naruto and Konohamaru rolled into one. We already know how Naruto responded to Konohamaru not getting enough attention. I’m not in the camp that says Naruto is a bad father; I feel like saying he’s a bad father is totally unfair.

Say something about your favorite character. Good and bad. - Sakura earned her damn stripes. Most of the stuff people criticize her for was stuff that happened when she was a child, and I ain’t about judging children because I’m not stupid lol. I suppose I would’ve liked to see her apologize to Naruto for the fake confession; we do see her thinking of how sorry she is, which is good, but a verbal one would have been good to see. I also think she should apologize to Sasuke for trying to kill him, but obviously he needs to do the same on a completely different level.

What would a child between your OTP look like? How would they behave as parents? - Sarada is gorgeous. I don’t think it’d be possible for SS to have kids with pink hair and green eyes, unfortunately. There are some inconsistencies with the timeline of Gaiden / Sasuke coming back to the village but not seeing Sarada while seeing Sakura, but I’m not gonna get into that. Kishi done goofed.

Say something genuinely nice about your NoTP. - SNS is beautiful regardless of whether you see it as platonic or romantic. SK is also a lovely bond.

Say something negative about your OTP. - Sasuke needed to be more remorseful to Sakura. More development from Sasuke’s side in general would have been great, I won’t deny that.

Is there anyway you could be convinced to ship your NoTP? What would make you change your mind about the pairing? - Nothing could really make me get on board with SK, lol. In terms of SNS, idk, maybe I’d ship it if that fandom would stop shitting on Sakura and her feelings all the damn time.

What makes you mad about the series? - pretty much just the fandom lol

If you could see anything happen in the series, what would it be? - SASUSAKU TRAVELS AND RELATIONSHIP CONCEPTION AND MARRIAGE AND SARADA’S BIRTH MOTHERFUCKER. Also I’d love to see Kishi illustrate Sakura running a clinic.

What would you say to Kishimoto if given the chance? - Kishi, please explain the timeline inconsistencies in Gaiden. Was Sarada having a flashback to Sasuke and Sakura holding her hands in Gaiden? Did Sasuke communicate with Sakura via hawk in Gaiden? Did Sasuke distance himself from his family because he was afraid of being a dangerous/controversial presence around Sakura and Sarada? Is Sasuke home much more after Gaiden, as indicated by the Boruto movie? 

In your opinion…

Most attractive male? - Sasuke

Most attractive female? - Sakura, Hinata, Tsunade

Most overestimated? - hmmmmm, maybe like......Hinata by her own fandom lol

Not appreciated enough? - S A K U R A

What is the greatest thing about Naruto? - The diversity of the cast and the characters loving each other 

The worst? - Naruto getting too much focus, Sakura getting a little shafted in terms of screentime, Hinata’s entire character being centered around Naruto, girls in general getting shafted, also Hidan, Kakuzu, and Deidara, I hate them for taking up screentime because they have no legit backstories or development lol

The saddest moment? - Sasuke finding out about Itachi

The most defining? - Defining is a broad term, maybe I would say 685 when Sasuke catches Sakura, it just really showed what he was really feeling about her deep down

Rant about anything…

GO! - This fandom has truly infuriated me more than pretty much anything ever has, lol. I am so fucking sick of the Sakura hate, the misogyny, the jealousy, the hypocrisy, all of it. It’s ridiculous, it’s petty, it’s bandwagon hate, and that’s the absolute worst kind of hate. This fandom claims to be so feminist, but I’ve seen fujoshis time and time again belittle any girl who gets in the way of their OTP. The double standard setting is ridiculous. People need to stop fucking saying “you can’t be a Sakura or Sasuke fan if you ship SS” like seriously shut the fuck up. We all have different opinions about what’s right for the characters. Also, it should tell you something that SS shippers’ views align with Kishi’s. I really haven’t seen the SS fandom say “you can’t be a Sakura or Sasuke fan if you don’t ship SS.” Hopefully I haven’t seen it because it never happens. Just some food for thought. My anger with this fandom really started back in summer 2015 when Gaiden was being released. I made ONE post about people needing to respect Kishi, and people told me I needed to “get my sanctimonious opinions out of the SNS tag.” After that I really lost my shit with this fandom lmao. Many people, including myself, have owned up to various things, but there is still way too much toxicity and bullshit that needs to just stop. Luckily things are more calm than they used to be, but there is still improvement to be made. Sorry for the long rant lol but yeah I’ve been wanting to say all this at some point anyway so might as well bury it in a long-ass post. *stomps away to a beanbag chair*

[robertabobertson]

He loves me, he loves me not

Oh Shaunson. You really did it this time. 

So I went the opposite way, and played “calm, cool, and not into it” and now AJ is super into it. He’s introducing me to important people (bro/pgw/sister-in-law), inviting me to his parent’s cabin, and check out our conversation we had below: 

.. silence as we both get sleepy. 

S: “Andrew. Are you sleeping?” 

A: “No.” 

S: “I like you. And-” (I was about to say I want to meet his family-)

A: “And you’re falling in love with me?” 

*heart races, blush, he wraps his arms around my waist and looks at me while I say “noooo” laughing and put my hand over his eyes.

A:”Well I’m falling in love with you. I am in love with you. I think.” 

*pause*

S:”I am too... I want to meet your family.” 

A: “Our mountain house is opening soon. Really soon. I’ll talk to my mom about it, but I want you to come.” 

We make out, have emotional sex, like really fucking incredible sex, where he went incredibly slow, and we felt everything. It was also very sweaty. Neither of us climaxed - which made me start to suspect he was fucked up. 

Then all night long.. he kept waking up, grabbing me, talking sweetly to me, clearly dreaming of me, and he kept wanting to hold my hand. and hold me. He wanted to touch me. 

Wow. This seems to be a 180 from the Andrew I’ve been hanging out with. I think he had an epiphany recently that I’m a cool girl, and he wants to be with me. We did spend Friday together too, got high and talked about .. whatever was on our minds. I was on edge to be honest. I didn’t feel completely comfortable, but I really enjoyed our conversations. He’s a deep thinker. 

Here are my thoughts: 

1. He needs someone who is confident, doesn’t give a fuck, and cool / calm. He tends to be a little fragile. Overthinks his actions, easily embarrassed, but I can tell he desperately wants to not give a fuck. I love that, because it gives me room to reflect and recall that i also don’t want to give a fuck, and in most cases I really don’t. He’s also semi-hot tempered when things don’t make sense. I can calm him down. 

2. He’s vulnerable. Emotionally available. Hot damn I need that. He’s aware of his emotions and willing to discuss them. Anxiety, depression, love, his needs. It makes me feel like I can tell him what’s on his mind and he will try to tell me what’s on his. 

3. He’s a deep thinker. He is willing to talk about everything and anything. He does not appreciate surface thoughts though, if you’re going to go deep into something, go deep into it. I love where his brain goes and I typically agree with his opinions. Except maybe the climate. Also, he’s a libertarian but leans left but has an open mind. He’s willing to listen, piece things together, discuss, and then formulate his opinion. Mature. 

4. His aura balances me. I can get into states of mania but being with Andrew, I can calm down. 

5. His career is sexy - he’s good at it. Development

6. He’s tall as fuck, easily the sexiest guy I’ve ever been with, and we have great sex. He’s a giver in sex, holy fuck that has been ... eye opening 

7. He has an innocent streak that I like about him. Sometimes I define it as fragile, other times I see it as him just learning about the world, what the world thinks of him, how he fits in, especially since he made such a dynamic change from high school to college to his adult life. And he doesn’t have a dad to help him decide anymore. But he is open when his innocence comes out. He is okay to admit it. And it’s again very vulnerable. But I love it.

8. He is disciplined. He only eats when hungry, does he drug he wants to do, doesn’t over indulge, doesn’t over do it, has his shit together. 

9. He has passions: wuzgud, guitar, development, working out, i know i’m missing some.. 

10. he has friends - and they love him. He is surrounded by people. And they are good people. I like them. 

Red Flags: 

1. I’m not sure he knows what he wants. He seems to flip sometimes. By that I mean.. sometimes he is super into me. Sometimes he isn’t. It can be difficult to discern. 

2. He wants convenience - i think he has a selfish streak being the youngest. He tends to want things that are easy for him and forgets to look out for others: i.e. cab fare for his bro, laughing skull, dinners i make, remembering to schedule things with me

3. Fragile - he cares a little too much about things. He needs someone who is “plastic” in the sense they are completely NOT fragile and don’t give ANY f’s. That is usually me, but sometimes his fragility rubs off on me and I mirror it and it makes both of us uncomfortable. 

4. Drugs - he is willing to put almost anything in his mouth.

5. idk if he knows how to have a gf - i think because he is so fulfilled in his bros, he might not need/want/desire to have a best friend in a woman. Which is what I want. I want to tell them everything, never get bored of them, blah blah.

I was immediately infatuated with him. I am starting to be less intimidated by him and more of myself and I think he likes it. Sometimes I feel like I need to turn on the sex instead of being my goofy self, but I think he prefers goofy shauna. 

I really like the person I am getting to know. I think he’s amazing. I see a lot of potential with him, especially the loosened up fun/casual side of Andrew that I saw last weekend. I like that side. Am I in love? I’m getting there. But should I “get” there or should I already be there? I like how slow we’ve taken things, because I needed to go slow. if we were hot and fast, that would be a problem for me. And for him. But now.. I kinda get him. And I love .. him. I think. 

Things I need to know: 

1. What does AJ want with me? 

2. Why is he in love with me? 

3. Why does he think this is a good idea? 

4. Are we dating? 

And that’s a lot on AJ. Next up K. I am not sure why I am even going out with him when I have AJ. But it’s kinda an adventure? He’s 40. A millionaire, and moving to Chicago in less than a month. I don’t have much to lose. The issue? It’s pretty obvious there was an instant spark between us. Much like the one Paul & I had. I swear I saw emotional tears in his face when we first hungout. I’m not sure if that’s true. And now I can’t even remember what that was like but.. he’s kind. interesting. he’s experienced probably everything in life. he’s sweet. he’s funny. he’s a complete and total dork. His laugh is... the best. Sexual chemistry? Not sure there is any, but I completely shut that down when we grabbed drinks. I didn’t want to be confused. And yet.. I found myself completely captivated by him. It’s like I’ve known him my whole life and suddenly we’re picking up where we left off after years of not seeing each other. I think everyone probably feels like that around him though.. 

And yet. I’m not sure. I need to figure out a few things: 

1. Does everyone have this reaction to him? 

2. Did he kinda feel as oddly freaked out as I did after our meeting? 

3. What happened in his last relationship? 

4. Why has he never been married? Does he believe in marriage? 

5. What does he want out of life? 

Holy fuck. I hate when men are the center of my life and I just spent an hour typing this. But damn it felt better than swirling in my mind all day.