#(side note i DON'T know if this describes me; im not a doctor and i havent been diagnosed with anything specific to my knowledge)

[castellla]

i like the phrase 'manic features' specifically, because features really gives a 'sick-ass touchless trashcan by simplehuman at bed bath and beyond that costs $499.99 and also cooks, cleans, and fucks your wife if you're both into that' kinda vibe.

[7nessasaryevils]

I'm back with things that made me clutch my chest, snap my neck, scream into the void etc etc... from ep 6 of Wandee Goodday.

Settle in my loves, we're in for one heck of a ride!

- starting us off strong with Yak waking up Dee, pouting about them not being able to see each other for a week because of the training camp, THE HEAD RUFFLE AND FOREHEAD KISS.... HELP ME IM GOING TO KILL THEM

- we're also back to the elephant pants and I cannot describe my happiness at seeing Yak wearing something that makes him comfortable while being with Dee

- that whole fucking montage... look at these domestic "we're just fuck buddies" assholes. Gentlemen, you wouldn't know "fuck buddies" if they were sucking your dick....

- TOOTHBRUSHES SIDE BY SIDE

- HES WEARING THE NECKLACE

- I had to physically stop myself from smacking my head into a wall at Yak's "I see you (Dee) more than I see her (Taem)" .... insert Scar's imsurroundedbyidiots.gif

- I love the way Dee thinks that Yoryak has no weakness? He genuinely seems surprised that Yak needs to go get trained 🥹🥹 also how worried he is when Yak explains his first loss...

- here's me toasting you Khun Yak for that sex joke 🤣👍🏽

-Patpran would be so proud... BET ERA MY BELOVED (if they fist bump I'll scream... oh phooey they didn't)

- them texting each other about their day... gwenchana gwenchana 😭😭😭

- I guess Oishi GreenTea is not sponsoring them 😅🤣

- Yak and Yei... just that scene...

- dee on the couch... quite obviously missing Yak... you dumbass ♥️🥺

- HE LEFT HIS PANTS THE- HE LEAVES CLOTHES AT DEE'S PLACE YOU DUMBASSES ARE SO INTO BOYFRIEND TERRITORY ITS OBVIOUS TO PLUTO!!

- that change in perspective... Golf... I see you and your masterful brain 👀👀👀

- HES WEARING THE PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNTTTTTTSSSSSSS

- Dee making a mess on the mirror on purpose (I'm not crying I'm NOT)

- sweetheart... you're in love with Yoryak... 🥹🥺♥️

- Cher? My darling? Give Yei a really good blowjob when he comes back because your hubby is fucking SMART (also yak and yei sleeping on a bed together... adorable sibling behaviour)

- me when Yak walks outside: ohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh wandee is gonna show up he's gonna show up he lost the bet he's gon- OHHHHH YAK CLOSED HIS EYES AND WHEN HE OPENS THEM DEE WILL BE THERE!!!!

- me when i turned out to be right:

- "the atmosphere here is nice." "It got even better with you here." SOMEBODY SEDATE ME!

- hey pot? I believe the kettle is calling you black.

- give me a kiss... look at these two idi-

- you know when you have to put your phone down because you cannot believe the audacity? Yeah... that's me when Yak points right to his lips. Sir. You dumbass.

- my knees just gave out

- nobody hold me back im about my plant my foot into Ter's face

- KAAAAAAOOOOOOO HI BABY!!

- oh no. Oh no no no no. This is one time I do NOT WANT a whole "oh there's only one bed"!!!!

- side note: is this what happened with Billy and Babe when they went to Japan? 🤔🤔 thank you Kao 🤣♥️

- forget my foot. I'm dropping a fucking ANVIL on this asshole's face- where does Ter get off making decisions for Dee???

- DONT KISS HIM BACK OFF STRANGER DANGER STRANGER DANGER YAK HELP!!! (edit: two mins later I was even more pissed off because Ter knows that Dee has a boyfriend, "fake" as it is, and he still tried to kiss Dee! This dickhead!!!)

- WELL DONE DEE!

- well done P'Golf!! HPV knowledge my beloved ♥️♥️

- Dee no!!! Don't think about that horse-faced dick doctor (if I had a quarter every time I said that, I'd have two quarters only... but weird for it to happen twice - fuck you Dr. Charlatan!!!)

- YAK! Come get your man!!

- I'm all for you two seeing each other again but NOT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREET THATS HOW WE DIE!!! MOVE YOU DUMB GAYS! (Edit: Kay but now think of the fact that Dee is terrified of crossing the street and how easily he does it when it's Yak he's walking to...this is okay I'm okay I'm so okay)

- love and the city... p'golf you fucking genius

- kisses in the stairwell... gods they really want me to choke don't they?

- second time I had to put my phone down... Yoryak... I'm this close to drop-kicking you across the country

- my body is yours... and so is your heart you idiot get to that realization faster!!! Pat would be so disappointed!

- Kao coming in with those truths... my utmost respect for you sir 🫡🫡

- oh shit...

- TAEM YOU QUEEN YES!!

- DEE YOU DUMBASS NO!

- hats off to Cher and Yei being adorable and happy in their sex lives which includes phone sex!!! We approve!!!

- the side by side!!!! Interesting to think of it as a couple making love vs. a couple fucking but it's actually two couples in love... awww

- OYEI AND CHER LIP KISS THANK YOU P'GOLF!!!!

- Kao. Sir. I'm erecting temples in your honour. Making merit. Fasting. Praying for you to find someone who loves you the way you want to be loved. I'm doing it all for you because you fucking deserve it.

- the pink on Dee's face... sweetheart you're so in love with him 🥺🥺

- GROUP DATE!!!! And our resident idiot gays are in matching pants.... lord gimme strength

- feeding each oth- breathe Nessie breathe. The idiots know not how they hurt you.

- Yak recognizing that something's going on between Yei and Cher is such a lovely thing. Now if only he could realize stuff about himself and Dee!

- third time I put down my phone... but to cry because Yak remembers Dee's fear and holds his hand I'm fucking fine don't touch me

- oh no... Yei you got yourself mixed up with loan sharks! honey no!

- yak comparing the pics of him, Cher, Yei and Dee to the family picture... this epsiode really said we're going to stomp on your heart Nessie...

- they're still holding hands... fuck

- I'm begging whatever deity is listening to me: please don't let there be a scene where Dee tells the public about yak's secret place

- one more word and I'll kiss you... on the lips. (Okay but the fact that he says this and still thinks he might be in love with Taem makes me feel like this 👇🏽

- Yei you utter romantic sap 🥹🥹🥹🥹🫡

- the story of how Yei and Cher met... fucking fuck 😭😭😭

- and then ending it off with Dee knowing that no matter what his feelings, the fact that Yak is the only person who makes him feel at ease... FUCKING FUCKITY FUCK

this epsiode came for my whole existence and the next one... the next one is gonna have me on the floor THANKS!

[freebooter4ever]

is the corset comfortable enough to wear everyday? or at least more comfortable than the pooling blood? I'm curious about what will happen after consistent use and then removing it all. the blood pooling happens right away when the compression isn't happening?

it's interesting that it would work similarly to compression tights. I don't really understand how that would work considering how much your torso moves at any given moment while you breathe. at first I was going to say I'd like to read a long paper about it, but realistically I'd prefer a youtube video with visuals. I'm a slave to technology.

It certainly feels comfortable enough to wear it all day so far - though I am starting small and plan on wearing it in the early morning when the brain fog is the worst and in the evenings until I get used to it. What I have on isn't a corset btw, it's shapewear. Which i bought as a test before i invested in a full blown corset.

The interesting thing about POTS is that it is literally different for everyone - there are commonalities but seriously mine is SO different from anyone i've talked to online and that seems to be the 'norm'. My only advice would be to try everything because you don't know what will work and try to make sure every piece of gear you buy is returnable. Once you find something your body tolerates then you buy a bunch of it (i started with 1 compression tights, now i have 4).

I genuinely have no idea scientifically how compression works - I asked my cardiologist and he didn't really explain it to me just kept repeating the type of compression i should wear. I do know that i have been wearing the tights for about two months now and still the minute i take them off the blood starts pooling (and it dont stop pooling). As i gain muscle, as i get rid of the bacteria in my intenstines, this could change. Or i could be dealing with this for the rest of my life. Doctors haven't studied it. Cause it doesnt kill you it only disables you and takes the joy out of your life because it slowly depletes your brain of oxygen and your body cant function like that 🙃. Plus up until covid it mostly affected women, and you know those women - anxiety ridden delicate creatures clearly faking these symptoms for the attention.

Side note: i have learned i get frustrated with friends and strangers who try to talk about 'how brave' and 'resilient' i am and how they 'admire me' for fighting this. I call bullshit lol, this isn't some bravery on my part this is just me fighting to survive. I got lucky in that my body seems to respond to at least some treatments. I've read too many stories of people whose body didnt.

Ironically i did record a video essay last night in 3 parts, but it wasnt about compression, it was me rambling about how with all the evidence i gathered plus the tidbit i learned yesterday im 99.9% certain i met geno in 2012 in a pittsburgh nightclub when i was clueless and he was young and hot in a tight shirt. I might post it later today. I had to do multiple takes on the last video trying to describe exactly how well i vividly remembered the shape of this guy's body (i kept blushing)

[wanderingwriter87]

you know, i've always struggled with the idea that garak intentionally sent julian to tain for his help in the wire - i don't know if that's the intentional read or not, because the clear doylist explanation (to me) is that just having garak mention him and where he lives is the easiest way to establish how julian could possibly get that information. but in a watsonian sense - why would garak tell him that? because he wants julian to get the medical files he needs to save his life? that's never felt entirely right to me.

the wording in the episode is kind of vague, but it sounds as though julian just needs generic "information about cardassian biochemistry" - he chooses to go and get it from tain (who even lampshades how odd it is to ask him for that - it's like going to the head of the CIA and asking for all the files he's got on human brain anatomy or whatever - sure he could get it, but why are you asking him?) this is early on, when the federation's relationship with cardassia was still cautiously cordial, so he probably could have gotten the information he needed by skyping any doctor or hospital on prime by saying he had a cardassian patient with degenerating leukocytes. (side note - it's possible that the implant had some kind of unique properties that julian needs to know about - that's never explicitly stated though, and the issue is with the damage it's done to garak's brain - from the way julian describes it to jabara, it is pretty clear that he understands the nature of the problem and how to treat it, but he can't synthesize the leukocytes he needs without cardassian medical data to work from. he may want schematics on the implant etc but i don't think he needs them.)

obviously there are doylist story reasons it has to be tain, and in universe julian clearly wants to confront this man and hold him to account. but does garak know that? would he be okay with it if he did? what was his intention in giving julian this information?

usually i just say that his brain was melting and leave it at that. but he's relatively stable when he mentions that tain is on arawath, and it's also the time he drops the "sons of tain" thing which i believe was definitely intentional. so i gotta reckon with it at some point.

so let's say it's intentional. what did he want julian to do? he's refused to turn the implant back on, and he may think julian isn't going to be able to devise a treatment in time even if he gets the medical files that he needs. i think he tells julian where to find tain, not to save his life, but because he believes he is dying.

i think there's a few different potential implications there, and all of them are more interesting to me than the desperation and fear of a dying man who wants to be saved. not that the standard take is a bad one, i just....ougghhhh something about the heartbreaking intimacy of trusting someone to...what, bring the news back? is that all, or is he indulging in some private fantasy that julian would try to avenge him? (not to hurt tain, of course, at least not physically, not that he is capable - at this point garak probably still believes tain is smarter than julian, whoopsie daisy.) i don't know!!!!! but im sure thinking about it

[ventiffy]

𝒯𝒽𝑒 𝒶𝓁𝓁𝒾𝒶𝓃𝒸𝑒 𝓉𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝒷𝑜𝓊𝓃𝒹𝓈 𝓊𝓈 𝓉𝑜𝑔𝑒𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓇 ♡ PT.2

Summary: You are a writer only passionate about science, biology (the human body s' anatomy) and anything along the lines of engineering. Your studies is only a part of your many passions and hobbies. Online you place many theorizes and questions where you wish that maybe one who takes your passion to heart could answer with an explanation. Although they never do, sometimes somebody will answer you but its with the most basic and undetailed answer ever! Until one day you come across somebody whiling to answer all your questions for only a small price..

WARNINGS !! : MENTION OF BLOOD AND GORE (warnings may change through different parts) IF YOU READ IN BETWEEN THE LINES YOULL SEE THAT HUMAN EXPERIMITATION IS MENTIONED

YES THIS POST WAS LATE, IM SORRY!! I SAID ID UPLOAD PART 2 TODAY AND I DID BUT ITS LIKE ALREADY BEEN A FULL DAY SINCE I UPLOADED THE LAST PART SO TO ME ITS LATEE!

ILL TRY TO UPDATE DAILY- PLZ REQUEST AND TELL ME YOUR FEEDBACK THANK YOUU ♡ ♡

(Forgot to add but this is a modern au and in every modern au, the place is always teyvet and the region is based from the character the fic is centered around. (For this fic, it's Dottore, a fatui harbinger, so the region is Snezhnaya!)

After exchanging numbers with the Doctor, you wondered:

" I don't quite know who this guy is.."

Maybe it was a bit too early for an introduction, he made his point clear. He didn't have time to always check if whoever he was helping asked a question through their account. The only way he could reach you was through your emails... which you rarely check just that the only time you bothered looking at the new notification was when he sent a message. The site you were using didn't have a private chat function. They had a word and comment limit per accounts per post so if somebody were to be going through a very detailed answer, they wouldn't be able to finish because of the word/character limit. So basically, in conclusion, exchanging numbers was the best idea.

Day by day, you asked questions and as promised, he answered the second you sent them. Although sometimes he'd respond later, but instead of mocking you by saying "While using basic knowledge we're able to figure that..", he'd say "Through my experimentation I figured.."

Although you didn't mind it at first. Since, he mostly answered in this manner when you questioned the success of one of your theories which was only reasonable for him to recreate your ideas to see if they function in the same ways they did when you described them while using your knowledge and imagination. The more you asked the more you wanted to start classes for biology, since your school offered some. So a few days passed and during that period you tried to convince yourself to try to get a decree in biology. Your thoughts got the best of you and so you joined, you tried to make notes of all the knowledge you had just gained on the subject just for the sake of being a bit advanced in your studies. The start of the semester came and of course the main subject of the following classes of the first part of the semester were based within the objective of learning the functions of each organ/muscle in the human body.

You had to learn which was more important and so on. Using what the functions of each organ were, you needed to figure what would happen if only 3 organs of your choice were absent in the human body. In your essay you had to write two paragraph one answering the following questions:

What are the names of the organs? If they were known under other names you needed to list them.

What are the purposes of each organ?

Where are they placed in the body?

Then you had to continue with the help of the answers you got from answering these:

How long will the body survive?

What are the side effects? What are it's effects on the rest of the body, are each part of the body connected to that organ somewhat destroyed?

Why did the absence of the organ cause those side effects?

You found it pretty easy. You searched through your textbooks and after a while you finished. But a wonder came to your head. What would've happened if the organs you didn't chose were absent. What if it was one of the many parts of the brain that got removed? Will the person act differently. Can the absence of an organ bring any form of change to the movement of limbs and the human body in general. So, you asked the Doctor. Now, you felt more comfortable knowing you knew him a lot more then before through the small conversations you had that weren't based around the subject of science.

So after a few seconds after asking that turned into minutes then hours then a few days, nothing, nothing happened. He didn't respond and your message was left on read. You didn't mind it to much since you had other priorities. And, some Doctor who could answer all sorts of questions about himself only if the questions was based on his tastes was not one of your priorities.

Aside from science, you enjoyed arts, doing anything that could satisfy your creativity while yet staying in a peaceful mindset was one of your hobbies. Why? Since you could actually concentrate. You had an average life in Snezhnaya. You knew all about the harbingers due to how many times you've heard one of your close ones talk about their accomplishments. You walked through thick and heavy snow to get to school while wearing layers upon layers of clothing due to the low temperatures of the region then in the afternoon you came back the same way that you did in the morning. Only through walking did you get anywhere. You lived in a village where you grew up in and also knew everybody due to how close the community was. But after thinking about your problem you noticed that it has been a long time since that Doctor had answered your questions. But, the time that came by ever since the day you asked for an answer raised as much as the people going missing did. Day by day more missing posters were hung up. You knew how hated your region was. But, now people are trying to kidnap the people you knew ever since you were a child? Impossible. Many things were going on in your life and it felt abnormal to say. Normally you were always at peace now, you don't know if you're going to be that kidnapper s' next victim and another issue is your everlasting worry for some person who if they were to write a book, one of their texts will suffice for one entire chapter.

But, today felt like a normal day to you. You were going to go to your classes and come back. And, that's what you did. You arrived almost late, you sat down at your seat and listened to the teacher talk about the purpose of the muscles and the name of each ones. By the end you had to come back by walking with your boots through layers of snow. And, once you came back you saw a notification on your phone announcing an up-coming message. You looked at the sender just to the "Doctor."

You jumped on your bed and read through the message. He had describe all the effects of the absence of each organ through a very long paragraph (for each organ obviously). While reading through the message, you noticed how most of them ended up having fatal side effects. He even added what will happen if the human slowly lost all their blood at once and also what would happen if different parts of the brain were to be removed. But yet again, he began his answer with the statement: "Through doing some experimentation I was able to figure.."

So, after reading that you could only ask:

"How do you do your experimentations?"

He answered seconds after:

"Well, I remark all the important organs and maybe veins and muscles and I try to compare their value with their function just to be able to find what will the human body lack of if the organ were to be destroyed. Then I see if there will be any other organ affected by this destruction and compare it to the danger of having that organ harmed indirectly by the absence of the part of the body that got taken away."

You didn't quite understand how that could possibly work. Although using your little knowledge all that he was saying before seemed believable and reliable. So, maybe this was how you can predict what will happen if an organ were to get removed from the body. After some thinking you asked:

"Can I meet you by chance, Doctor?"

"You're In Snezhnaya right?"

"Yeah, I am."

"Then, sure."

Author note: AND IM TIREEDD, so I'll stop... PT.3 MAY be uploaded tomorrow!! ♡ ♡

Thanks for reading! (Plz request)♡ ♡

[crazylil-lion]

I hate living inside my mind.

I hate actively trying literally everything that has been recommended by therapists. Psychiatrists and my normal doctor. Yet nothings better.

I post a ton about my suicidal thoughts but that doesn't even come close to scratching the surface on the thoughts I have.

So graphic its like a fucking movie playing in your head.

Zoned out. Staring into space. Watching the horrific thoughts play out.

You go from. How you would kill yourself. Who would find the body. How long would it take for others to hear. Would anyone at work hear? How would my siblings take it.

Note all this while I'm are still seeing the blood squirt from my fucking thighs.

The truth is words can't describe the fucking AGONY I feel.

Everyday. All the time. Pounding in my head. Even when I'm euphoric from an episode. Inside. I want to die. Because even the happiness is absolutely smothering.

Never knowing how youll feel even 10 15 minutes from now. Bc my mood literally changes that quick.

I'm exhausted. The lack of intimacy and all the other shit I complain about just adds on top.

I don't even bother venting here half the time because no one fucking cares. No ones going to read it. Im not going to read it again.

All I feel is fucking rage.

I'm tired of trying everything and nothing happening.

Just saying I don't fucking care about my amazing career or this potential amazing future.

I WANT MY FUCKING PAIN TO END. I want to want to live. I want to see some type of fucking hope. I want to know someone could love me when literally no one is ever interested even surface level.

I want things to be different. Its not that I'm not trying. I've been trying for years.

Its to the fucking point even my therapist asked me if I thought about getting euthanized.

I'm told maybe I'll find something that will make me want to continue between now and August but nothings changed for years.

Yeah I'm away from the abuse. But my siblings are still being neglected.

I'm still the one that has to solve the problems. Be the rock constantly.

I have an extremely successful career at 24. I'm told about how great my future will be. But they don't even realize its not a future I'll even be in.

I'm told maybe having a connection. Maybe having romance and going on a date would help me see a side of life I've never had but no one wants me for that to happen.

And I don't know that sex. Or intimacy or any of it would take away this suffering. I don't think its worth continuing year after year life this.

I was asked why did things seem to be worse after visiting home.

because I've let go.

I hope my death doesn't cause too much pain but I also know that after living 14 years for someone else. I can't use that as a reason anymore.

I accepted the truth.

So at this point what else can I do.

I'm tired and ready to lay down and die.

I've fought so hard for so so so long. As long as I can remember, I'm finally done.

No more fighting. Let my demons carry me away to where I belong.

In the emptiness of death.

[danidrawsstuff]

Hi ! I came from the doctor gilbert blog. I didn't know you were an animation student ! That is so cool !! That was one of the things I thought about studying after high school but I didn't know enough about it and went a different path. Can you tell us more about how being an animation student is ? What type of classes do you have ? What would you like to work on ? (if that's okay of course ^^)

Hey there!!

Yes, I started animation school this January and while it's very hectic, I'm absolutely having the time of my life ^^ !! It's something that I tried to go into after high school too, but when I realized my art skills were not up to par yet, I also chose a different route while continuing to work on art on the side! Took me two tries to finally get in, so if you ever decide to give it another shot, I say absolutely go for it! Never too late to shoot your shot and see where it takes you!

I will be posting my accepted portfolio pieces here soon, in case anyone was wondering what animation schools are looking for. And if anyone has any questions about the application process, I can try to give some general answers~! For now, more answers to questions under the cut:

The biggest thing about being an animation student is that it's very busy. My animation prof actually described animation as the medical school of the art field since the grind is just as gruelling. The workload has been heavy from the get go, there's typically an assignment due every week for all classes. If it's not finished pieces that's due, then you're expected to have a certain level of roughs done for in-class critique. My wall calendar and my agenda are my best friends for keeping deadlines in mind and helping me to prioritize which projects to do first because if I don't physically see my deadline written out in front of me, my brain can and WILL forget :')

Speaking of critique, that's the second thing: Critique is going to be a big part of your life as an animation student, or any kind of art student for that matter. You're expected to show your work in front of class and have the prof really pick it apart and show you how to improve your work! There are profs who give vague critique but thankfully all my profs so far have been amazing with critique, either by providing extremely detailed notes or by doing draw-overs on our roughs. And we also have TAs available for pre-class critiques if you find yourself stuck on a part of a project that's just not working. I can't speak for other programs in other schools, but in mine there's a lot of support which is awesome since it's such a work intensive program!

As for courses, I'm doing a full course load so I should have 8 courses. I'm only taking 6 since I transferred credits to cover my mandatory communications and electives courses for this sem! Right now I have:

Layout - environments, backgrounds, lots of perspective work. i thought i would hate this class the most since i don't draw backgrounds that often but i actually really enjoy it!

Character Design - lots of character studies, a big emphasis on staying on model and keeping your drawing consistent which has been personally challenging, but still fun!

Animation History - exactly what it says on the tin. getting in on a lot of the disney tea. i believe we're moving on to animation's role in wartime propaganda during ww2 which will be interesting

Animation - the actual animation course. i've posted a few of my assignments on here! lots of ball bounces, seaweed waves, pendulums, all the fundamentals. one of the most demanding courses in terms of time since you have to draw so many frames.

Storyboarding - MY LOVE. this is my actual favourite class. we're given a script and told to plot out our board to show how it's going to be seen on screen. boarding is also pretty intensive since depending on the way you want to show the action, you could easily end up with 60+ frames to draw out, but i love it so much.

Life Drawing - My beloved and beloathed, but so important to animation. the class that's hardest to do online because it's not easy to draw a model when you're looking at a small screen. life drawing profs, at least in my experience, also tend to be the toughest critics.

And I think I might have answered the last question already but I really, really love boarding and I think that's exactly what I want to go into after graduation. Would like to work on something along the lines of ATLA or finally bring one of the many personal projects that have been stewing on the backburner to life kjdjds.

I will also say that it can get very taxing mentally and it's easy to get overwhelmed by the sheer amount of projects you have on your plate. As crazy as the workload is, I've also learned that it's very important to schedule some downtime into my everyday, even if it's just taking an hour or two to walk away from whatever I'm working on and just meme around on discord or take a nap.

I think that about covers it. If you got any more questions, please feel free to yeet them my way!

[silvermahogany]

Talking about a few songs I associate with my favourite aonoex characters bc i enjoy shoving my music taste in people's faces and analysing the shit out of nothing <3

Recent chapter spoiler warning lessgo, also mentions of suicide tw

THE MAIN MANS HIMSELF

Still feel - Half•Alive

"I am not a slave, so pick me from the dark and pull me from the grave"

In my mind, this is his themesong without a doubt. Its reached the point where wherever i hear it it makes me really happy because I associate it with him so strongly :,D might just be because I found it while getting back into the fandom when Ren was kinda transitioning to my favourite so they came up together but either way, absolute banger. The bit at the end when everything drops and the lead singer belts his heart out, I always love to picture Ren doing the same in the illuminati uniform with Yamatanka building around him and I've never wanted to learn how to animate more in my life cause my GOD he's so cool.

My favourite song for my favourite character <3

Preach - Saint Motel

"Oh im down on my knees, mercy"

Its so happy and bouncy?? And the vibes are immaculate?? Matches well with the themes of religion as well, this one definitely shows his flirty loverboy side more, it gives the impression of some lovestruck idiot stumbling over himself every time his crush does anything and honestly, sounds like something he'd do. Good song makes me go :))))

Your Love (Deja Vu) - Glass Animals

"You eat us up, you live like you're on camera"

I feel like this one captures his spy side a little more than the others. The lower notes in the main verses give a secretive feel, like he's halfway through a mission and trying trying stay silent. But it's also flirty in a more smooth way than wholesome crushes like the rest. The lead singer has such a gorgeous voice too i'll praise glass animals until the day i die 🥺🥺 God tier song god tier vibe 1000000/10

Do It All The Time - IDKHOWBUTTHEYFOUNDME

"Now we're so young but we're probably gonna die, it's so fun we're so good at selling lies"

Now THIS is a song for a spy working for a secret deadly organisation, all about world domination and having a great time doing it. Renzou is a free spirit and loves the freedom of his job, and this song really captures that for me. He knows he's in danger, but he's living his best life and he's having a great time doing it baybeeee B)))

Sweet Talk - Saint Motel

"You could yell 'piss off won't you stay away!' And still be sweet talk to my ears"

Ren is a persistent little shit when it comes comes crushes and this song shows it, a song about a guy who's so infatuated he doesn't care if he's hated or laughed at, he just loves hearing their voice. I see this as a bit of a yukishima anthem tbh, I feel like in the early stages of their relationship it would be pretty one sided with Shima trying to win him over and Yukio shutting him down so this matches that pretty well :>

Cant go five minutes without talking about them can i-

Honourable mentions-

Talk too much - COIN - very flirty and cheesy considered it as his themesong for a while

Toxic - Britney Spears - self explanatory :)

Razzmatazz - IDKHBTFM - everything they make shows his spy side imo, good for daydreaming

Van horn - Saint Motel -honestly anything by Saint Motel or Half•Alive reminds me of him, great bands :D

YUKIO MY BELOVED

Yukio was weirdly a lot harder for me to find songs for. For Renzou i have a giant playlist I add to over time, supreme comfort playlist egegegeheh, but Yukio's is a lot shorter for some reason. I guess his vibe is a little difficult to get down but a while scrolling through my main playlist and I think I have a decent few that at least match his character development and plotline.

Stressed Out - Twenty one Pilots

"Out of student loans and treehouse homes we all would take the latter"

Pretty self explanatory really, mans was forced to grow up and mature way faster than he shouldve had to, having a high stress job by the age of 13 studying for two meister all while studying to be a normal doctor as well. Not much of a surprise he has so many mental issues by the beginning of the story. I dont listen to much TOP but the few songs I know seem to fit Yukio pretty nicely :)

Oh Klahoma - Jack Stauber

"Those aren't meant to bend, no those arent meant to bend"

Another song based on depression, but with a much quieter feel, much lower energy. I feel like this one more links to his tendencies of delf destruction, and how alone he feels as he faces his battle. Like he's singing into the void hoping for something to reply, but nothing will. Man :(

The Fall - Half•Alive

"I'd jump off and into your arms but i cant trust the fall"

I feel like this one highlight his story to Rin in a really realistic way. Yukio has a good heart, he's kind and wants to love his brother and open up to him he wants to get better. But he's so deep in his pit of depression and conflicting feelings over his brother that he can't bring himself to, he sees no way out. God I wanna write an analysis on his character so bAD-

Baby Hotline - Jack Stauber

"Numb, I've been burning with haste and I'm realising now it's a terrible waste"

We just keep getting darker huh, didn't pick very pleasant tunes for this boy did I. A bouncy, happy song about a girl calling a suicide hotline, lovely. But i feel like it describes his mental state pretty well, outside he seems ok. Sure Rin picks up that somethings off, but once Yukio assures him he doesnt really persist above asking him a couple times. But below the facade he's really reaching his breaking point, and I love how this song contrasts those two tones in a scarily natural way. Absolute banger

Fireflies - Gorillaz

"And if you say goodbye too many times, the sentinels will find me and switch me off this time"

One of my absolute favourite Gorillaz songs by far. The melody is so gorgeous, melancholic in the best kind of way. For Yukio I feel like it signifies how trapped he feels as Satan's son, he's hit his lowest point and he doesnt know how to start moving back up. But the song also has a hopeful feel to it, as if even though he feels lost, he will get better. In the recent chapters we see a moment of reconciliation between Yukio and the people around him, with Suguro forgiving him and tye two brothers finally getting a chance to to things out. Before everything went to shit lmaoo. But with that i really hope that after all the fighting is done, Yukio will finally get the chance to see how bad things have gotten, and reach out to get better. And this song shows that for me :D

Honourable mentions!!

Creature - Half•Alive - the first song I ever added to his playlist, there for sentimentality tbh

Cane shuga - Glass Animals - the plonky noises make the happy chemical go buckwild, not sure why it reminds me of him it just kinda does really

I Earn My Life - Lemon Demon - mans is overworked give him a break :( ngl i don't associate it with him much but i wanted to edge a lemon demon song in somewhere-

Dead inside - Younger Hunger - whenever I hear this I always imagine a really cool animation of him and it always plays out the same way and MAN I wanna animate so baDD

Absolute wordvomit woohoo, hypervocused on this instead if doing the assignment due this evening I'm a fantastic student. This was kinda fun tho!!! I might do other characters at somepoint, these guys are my favourites but i have a bunch of playlists for other characters like Amaimon and Shura, recommendations are welcome too!!

[autistic-ace-bee]

diagnosis anon

I have a question, I know you're not a doctor or anything but I just want to know if this is something people who have adhd or are autistic have.

When someone talks about something serious or rants I just really feel uncomfortable because although I know I'm not the one doing something wrong I just feel stress when seeing or hearing it. It's like they're talking to me and reprimanding me or something.

And when people are talking about something that I agree with when they start talking sarcastically and snobbily I just dislike it and it goes for both sides of any discussion, I know what's right but when people start talking like that I just don't like it.

Like someone talking about their trauma on tiktok without any warnings or anything I just scroll through a video and they immediately start talking abt something horrible that happened to them. I just hate it so much. And all the comments are either comforting them, saying the same thing happened to them, or saying something worse that happened to them. I just can't relate to that or any of that when it's done like that.

I don't know if it's a symptom of something or maybe something that came from trauma so I'm just wondering if that's something people who have adhd or are autistic have? Just so I can cross them out and talk about it to the doctor when I get a schedule.

I'm sorry if this is annoying or too personal for you

Im not entirely sure if this is an ASD or ADHD thing. Frankly, I'm not too familiar with the symptoms of ADHD beyond the shared ASD symptoms, and because ASD is a spectrum I'm not familiar with all the symptoms there either. From what you've said though at least part of you're feeling might be Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria? Other than that I'd say its perfectly normal to find discourse uncomfortable and to feel uncomfortable with people sharing/oversharing on social media, especially without tagging or warning about triggering content. I can see an inability to relate to people being a symptom of ASD but in the case you've described I can also see that inability also potentially being related to dissociation linked to the freeze response experienced during trauma. The thing is neurodivergents (not just ADHDers and autistics either) are significantly more likely to experience trauma, so it can be hard to distinguish the symptoms sometimes. Personally, I can only speak from an autistic perspective, so it might be worth asking NTs, ADHDers and other autistics as well.

On that note, if anyone has any thoughts to help anon here I'm sure we'd both value the input! And don't worry anon, you're never annoying and I have no problem answering personal asks either /gen =^-^=

[thosch3i]

Xiao Yuliang Interview [Eng Trans]

[Photo: XYL’s dog]

so remember this post? yeah well i wound up doing a mostly full translation of the entire 6 minute interview on twitter. some parts are paraphrased and a few details were skipped bc he sometimes repeated himself and there were one or two details i wasn’t 100% sure of, but other than that an eng transcript of the full interview is below the cut:

1. Introduce your role in "Ultimate Note"?

XYL: In Ultimate Note I play Zhang Qiling, Xiaoge.

2. What kind of impression does this character leave in your heart?

XYL: Before, I thought he was a really strong, and then a very cool, and then a very cold/detached person. But later, I finished reading the novel and read the script, and I felt like he's someone who lets your heart ache for him. The feeling he gives me--because once I was reading the script in a car, and I almost wanted to cry for him, because he's always searching for the things he's lost. And he's very strong, but he wasn't born strong; he also went through a lot, and he made himself strong. He can bleed, and he can get hurt; it's just that he doesn't say anything, and he doesn't show that he's in pain.

3. Talk about the initial pressure of receiving this role?

XYL: When I got this role, the pressure was really really big, but I also thought I was pretty lucky, because I'd played Zhang Qiling before, and I get to play him again, and I think that's pretty lucky. But the pressure is too big, on set right now, the pressure is very big.

4. Netizens were pretty satisfied with your performance; have you seen these comments?

XYL: When Sha Hai was airing, I saw their comments. Some of them approved, and I was happy, but others--like, saying some suggestions or opinions--I also looked at them. I also looked at the performances of other actors who played Zhang Qiling and comments on their performances. I used them as a reference, and I learned from the experiences/evaluations of others.

5. What was the greatest challenge of playing Zhang Qiling?

XYL: The biggest challenge is that there are too few lines. It's really hard to act! [Xiaoge] has some expressions where it's just, you can't make them too obvious or too "unrestrained" because his actions are also very restrained, but if you're too restrained then everyone just thinks you don't have any reactions. And the editors are also very hardworking, because they'll have 4 pages, and I won't have a single line, just reactions. The others will talk for 10 minutes, and I'll just be reacting. [Xiaoge] is a person with few/no words, but with his whole heart, he wants to go care for others...it's very difficult; this "no lines" is very difficult. Another thing is fight scenes are very difficult, and the weather is too hot.

6. What are some scenes that left the deepest impression on you?

XYL: Like when it's 3am, and we're running through a wild river, the water is all up to our waists, and we don't know what's underground. I was just afraid there were snakes, you know? Nothing we can do, just run. And there's also, because the filming location is at Xishuangbanna, there really are snakes. We've seen snakes etc on set, so we were afraid accidents would happen. Thankfully they didn't. And there was also when we were rubbing mud on our faces during the hot day. Actually, what we were rubbing was chocolate paste. When the chocolate on our faces dried, we spread on more, and it feels like you've become a "chocolate person", not a "mud person". I also tasted it--the BTS side clips recorded it; the taste is okay. [t/n: here is a link to that clip]

7. How did it feel working with the other actors in the crew?

XYL: Liu Yuning-laoshi [t/n: Hei Xiazi] is really nice. He doesn't have a temper, and he's a very calm and tranquil person. I think he's really nice. Xiao Xi [t/n: lit. “Little Xi”, nickname for Zeng Shunxi aka Wu Xie] is a little mischievous. Xiao Xi likes to stir up trouble on set and play around. In any case he plays around with Pangzi and me, but Liu Yuning-laoshi is more tranquil, not quite the same as [his character] in the show.

8. Before you posted a vlog caring for your pet on Weibo, why don't you introduce your pet?

XYL: My dog's name is a character I played once; my mom named him. Because we'd just finished filming that show, and then my mom got a dog, so she just called him my name in the show. Tell me, isn't that annoying? [t/n: drama was called 反骗天下/Fan Pian Tian Xia and his role was called 米若/Mi Ruo; his dog is apparently called 米诺/Mi Nuo.]

9. You've been an actor for awhile now; can you discuss what being an actor feels like?

XYL: Initially, before I became an actor, I thought, "Oh, cool". Everyday you're just, wow, holding weapons, cool! But now I think it's so hard. Especially while shooting this show, I got a sty for a month, and it's still not better even now. [t/n: you can definitely see the swelling under his eye in ep1] I think this sty is from accepting this role, or because of work. In any case, it's still not better. But it's no problem; thankfully, my hair can cover it. You also have to be careful of safety on set; real blades can slice open your hands. Once, I wasn't careful and cut my wrist, but thankfully the doctor's stitching skills were pretty good. When he was still stitching, I even said, "Doctor, you have to stitch it well, okay, I'm an actor, I use this hand to perform", and he said "Okay". After the stitches were done, he asked me, "Are you satisfied with the stitches?" The results were pretty good; it didn't really leave a scar.

10. Finally, promote this show to our fans.

XYL: You all have to watch our "Ultimate Note", because filming was really tough, and we've diligently tried to accomplish these three roles [t/n: the iron triangle, I’m assuming] and later on some of the the details of many of the books. I hope you will see similarities to the novel in some of the show's scenes.

and we are done! so yeah, i think his take on xiaoge’s character was the most important part, but some of the other stuff (listening to him complain about some things lmao) was kinda funny too. im still laughing about the whole ‘im an actor i need this hand to perform’ bit bc dude you literally sliced yourself open w a knife badly enough to need stitches but that’s your first priority???? glad you’re dedicated to your job though i guess but LOL

Quick question/answer:

1. What do you want to say to Zhang Qiling?

XYL: Xiaoge, you've worked hard.

2. Who from the show would you pick to go with you on an adventure?

XYL: I’ll choose...I'll choose Pangzi, because he'll definitely bring food. And he's fat, and he's pretty joyful, oh right, I can also bully him.

3. Describe the level of your cooking skills.

XYL: Cooking skills? The rank of instant noodles. Just boiling instant noodles, then adding the flavor packets, and then tomatoes, eggs...instant noodles.

4. If you're not restricted, what kind of role do you most want to play?

XYL: If I'm not restricted, then I want to play that guy who, in the morning, is just delivering takeout or is really well-behaved and wears glasses, that type, and then at night he pushes his hair back like this [xyl mimes pushing his hair back], and he starts to....different types...in any case, like split personalities, right, split personalities.

5. A sentence to describe your ideal life.

XYL: My family and I are healthy, and I have enough money to go live a normal life, eat/drink whatever I want, travel with my family, and just grow up slowly.

oh right additional note, in zsx's interview, when asked which character he'd take, he said xiaoge without hesitation. and the interviewer asked if he wanted to know who xiaoge picked and zsx was all "he didn't pick me did he...I'll be leaving now, thank you~" 😂

[painhaver]

hey um, im sorry if this is weird. and if it is u don't have to reply. but i think im starting to realize i might have been experiencing psychosis for years. do you have any advice for someone who wants to seek help but doesn't know how?

im glad u feel comfortable reaching out to me lol ill def give u any advice that i can, disclaimer that im only speaking from my own experiences n also i live in the US so idk if yr medical system differs from mine

• in my experience w doctors in general, not just when seeking help for psychosis, it's a generally good idea to not only describe yr symptoms but also tell them specifically How theyre affecting u in yr day to day life. example: "i think im experiencing hallucinations, my hallucinations make it difficult for me to focus on everyday tasks n cause me anxiety that further limits my ability to do [insert task here]"

• b aware too that if u tell yr doc/psychiatrist that yr experiencing psychosis theyre likely gnna want to put u on antipsychotic medication. antipsychotics can have some weird side effects n every med is different, if u try one n it doesnt work for u or has side effects that worsen other symptoms/that u generally just dont like, tell yr doctor RIGHT AWAY. common side effects of antipsychotics r weight gain [n sometimes weight loss], dry mouth, drowsiness/sedation, and dizziness. in some cases u might also get tremors but if u do u shld def tell yr doctor right away. also know that u have the right to refuse any medication, yr doctor cannot force u to take anything u dont want to take n if they try to, find a new doctor n consider reporting them if u believe they cld b dangerous to other psychotic patients

• before speaking to yr doctor, write down yr symptoms. it doesnt have to b a clinical thing, esp cuz logging psychotic symptoms can b difficult [i often dont realize im having a delusional episode until after i break out of a delusion, n it can b hard to distinguish some hallucinations from reality]. if it's easier for u i suggest keeping a journal that u write in every day regardless of if u think yr having psychotic symptoms that day or not, just write down yr thoughts n maybe some things that youve seen/heard/experienced that day. u can go back later n might b able to pinpoint which days were heavy psychosis days n which ones werent. try journaling at different times of day too, psychosis can get worse at different times of day for different ppl. track yr moods too, psychosis can b caused by many different disorders, from bipolar to schizospec disorders to some personality disorders, even things like depression or ptsd can cause acute psychotic symptoms. many of these diagnoses r also dependant on a knowledge of yr mood symptoms as well so it's important to keep track of them as much as u can

• b as honest as u can w both yrself n yr doctor. tell them truthfully what yr symptoms r n how theyre affecting u n what u think yr treatment plan shld b. consider reaching out to close friends n trusted adults [if yr a minor] n tell them abt yr symptoms as much as yr comfortable doing so, let them know how they can help u if yr experiencing psychosis around them n ask for frequent reality checks if yr having difficulty distinguishing reality from psychosis. remember that there r ppl in yr life who love n care abt u, n u shld allow them to help u

• on a somewhat scary note [but it has to b said] b wary of ppl who u think might reject u bcuz of yr psychosis. im sad to say that ableism against psychotic ppl is v real n can b scary to experience. being psychotic can b isolating sometimes, esp when u experience lesser known symptoms such as disorganized thinking/speech. b wary of doctors who try to pressure u into treatments that yr unsure of or that r having negative effects on yr physical or mental health. remember that yr the patient n yr word is g-d, if u want a treatment to stop or if u think that u rnt being listened to, stand yr ground. speak up. report yr doctor for malpractice if u think it's necessary. in that same vein, b open-minded n willing to accept treatments, even on a trial basis. just keep in mind that u have the right to revoke yr medical consent at any time

srry that this post got rlly rlly long lmao but i hope it helps, feel free to shoot me another ask or dm me if u have any other questions ❤️ once again this is based on my own experiences so take it w a grain of salt but i think a good place for u to start wld b symptom tracking at the v least even if u cant/rnt ready to tell a doctor yet [though i encourage u to seek treatment]. stay safe out there :-)

[topicprinter]

I don't want the title to sound like I'm attempting to write some epic series. I'm more surprised than anything that the first post was so well received. I think subconsciously I hoped it would sink and that I would have scratched my itch.As it does seem to be helping a few of though and I did say I'd keep writing if it helped, I feel the need for at least a couple more posts and I'll hopefully take the time to answer some of the comments individually on the previous one.​To continue then, here is a 'Don't- Do- Don't' sandwich to keep the positive and negative even.I'm certainly not bashing on entrepreneurship, far from it. I really do think everyone that has the desire in them should start something- I'm just really concerned for others that feel they have to start something in the way and with the aim that other people are telling them to.​I've jotted down 4 more Don'ts and a handful of Do's here. As I mentioned in my previous post on here- I personally think that by scaling back your ambitions and intentions, focussing on the tiniest actions and letting go of too much need for a return on your efforts you are far more likely to either do something a little worthwhile that you can benefit from or even surpass these humble goals with something closer to your unrealistic goal than you would otherwise.​Apologies in advance again if I hit anyone too close to the bone and please bear in mind that I have probably been there.​(Side note: On browsing through yesterdays comments I think there are some people that could do with a 30 or 60 day detox from self help. Don't tell yourself you're quitting them forever- just swinging the control in the relationship with your books and authors back in your favour)​Two More Don't Do's for the Day.So yesterday I touched on the Don't Do's of 'Aiming for the Stars', 'Looking for too much advice', 'Desperation towards starting a business/ Lack of patience' and 'Overthinking'.I genuinely think if you avoid them you'll do better than not. To build on them and go a little deeper here's what I have maybe done and didn't work or have closely observed in the people in my circle (ie happy, decently off, mostly non millionaires although there are a few).​Don't Take Yourself Too Seriously (or be too hippy confident)I don't know what it is with us when we start out on this journey but I think it's the innocent care free child inside us hiding from this new scary creature we're trying to mould ourself into.Depending on who your'e copying, you may naturally start to try and emulate them. Most stereotypical famous entrepreneurs (not all btw) are either quite aggressive/ arrogant or quite 'know it all-ey'. From what I recall anyway.They're either strutting and yelling and power shaking the soul out of people or they're trying to come across as some type of hippy wizard who just 'knows' everything and can see round corners.Again, to compare that to the people I personally know- they are far more ordinary than any of the personalities- they're far less intense barring a bit of good old enthusiasm.I can't quite think of how to describe the ones I know but one thing that covers it is that they are all great to socialise with and good at parties, I can imagine the ones I haven't been to a party with are also.I don't mean they are the life and soul by any means- some of them are found with me in the kitchen or corner- what I mean is that they'll talk about varying and interesting things, will bang out a few dad jokes or take the p!ss out of others and themselves.They like a laugh an most of them did before they made it.Every single one of them has a pretty involving hobby/ interest outside fo their work or business (I've now written a list/ mind map of these people to help me write about them!) and I wouldn't describe a single one of them as intense or preachy.Actually come to think of it- I believe deep down that a lot of them come across as being aware how lucky and possibly average they are.This was a big realisation I came to myself prior to 'doing well' and I now feel better in myself with this opinion.- Lighten up, chill out, put more effort into your hobbies and outside interests (or get one), laugh; and enjoy life a bit more.​Dont try to find Opportunity Everywhere- Don't Think of everything as a potential business.Bear with me on this one.​A few years ago, after harassing my health service for several years prior to get me in front of a shrink to diagnose me with the Adult ADHD I 'knew' I had, I was finally aloud to go in for some tests- the lovely Indian lady doctor told me the reason I kept getting into a funk of lack of focus, indecision and spiralling 'anxiety' (which has similar symptoms- more on this later) was partly due to the fact that I had Seasonal Affective Disorder (and partly due to the fact that I was sadly desperate for success- she knew!)I was told by her to get a blue light and try mindfulness. Of course I took that as 'become a meditation teacher who's not into the woo woo and open a centre' and 'start a specialised website that provides advice to sufferers of SAD and sells blue lights etc'.I then went home, looked up all the keyword search volumes and started to analyse the competition- I felt sick when I realised the lo and behold someone had beaten me to it... by at least 20 years. The keywords were really competitive and it just wasn't worth it.I begrudgingly bought a light from the top result and when it came I think I kinda hoped it was crap.These last few winters I've actually used the blue light in the mornings and feel far better this time of year than I ever remember.I know that many of us that are naturally drawn to entrepreneurship are problem solvers, opportunity grabbers and make things betterers but we only have so much creative energy and decision making juice in us each day.By looking at every damn object or service we come across as something that we 'could get into', it drains our radar and puts everything into the same swamp of ideas.I think it's better to be more of a disregarder- again Im sure that the people I know know this.I've personally found that the businesses that have happened for me were a bit like with me and my wife. The first few encounters were random, meaningless events... we spent a little time together and took things slowly with no agenda. Then without even realising it we were in love and then married with children.- The opportunity will come if you let it and you'll just know when you know.​Time for some Do Do's(Stop it Chandler!)Finally, some things that can be done!Like I said, I think having a business is great, has made me a better person and has made me a good bit better off. I genuinely attribute a large part of my 'average' success and subsequent happiness to things I stopped doing rather than new habits that I formed but here are a couple of things I and those I observe do/did and may be worth trying yourself.​When you stop fantasising, researching and frantically flicking through motivational books & videos, you're left with some space that needs filling.I already mentioned hobbies and interests, but I'll cover that after what I think should head up the list.​Spend time with other peopleI haven't called it family or friends etc as I don't want to marginalise anyone who doesn't have them. I don't want to brag but I am lucky in this sense- if you're not so, I genuinely think you can do something about that.I also appreciate that people may be shy, be introverted and/or have social anxiety.I still think that its really important that you spend more time with the people you like spending time with or go out and find some. I guess it doesn't matter if they are online even- just spend time chatting and getting to know others more intimately... and remember, not too serious yeah.Have a laugh, get drunk, go fu shi up, go bowling, play frisbee, walk/ hike, play pool, fish, shoot, dance, knit... whatever..... with other people. More importantly make sure its people your'e not trying to sell to, buy from or otherwise advance yourself in business/ finance.Also, when things get going in your business life, don't bore these people with ita) It usually is boring andb) they like you cos you're who you are- not what you are.​Worthwhile wastes of time- AKA Hobbies and interestsYep, I know I'm beating this drum to death- trust me, its important.If you're the active sort, go and do something physical, just drop the goals and the aims etc, especially if you're into bodybuilding or running etc. Swing on some bars or look up calisthenics if you want to use your muscles. Take a look at woodwork, building heavy things or something like that.Try not to replace your addiction to being an entrepreneur/ wantrepreneur with another addiction though.You're just killing a bit of time and giving yourself something to take your mind off of things. Using your body and mind for something other than 'trying to succeed'.Remember- no outcomes. You're doing what the soft headed teacher told you at school about just taking part and not winning.Although I like video games, I don't like to feeling I get after sitting down in front of screen for too long so I can't play them. I do love movies and gripping documentaries so probably watch about an hour a day and film or two at the weekends after the kids are in bed (usually with beer/ wine and snacks).A few years ago I would be sat the on my laptop or iPad 'looking things up'. I couldn't even bring myself to enjoy a few hours in the evening to watch a film. Jeez- what a waste.I've taken to building things and renovating my house- it's coming along quite well, I'm really improving my DIY skills and am amassing a fine array of tools. I've built a shed out the back, moved the kitchen from one end of the house to the other- according to the mortgage broker I've added nearly 50k to the value of my house.... what's important though is that I've really really enjoyed it. I have plans for many other things and am learning CAD (which I should know being in engineering anyway but this time its for fun) and am watching several CNC routers on eBay to further the fun.I also love growing and cooking food- not trying to be a masterchef or thinking about opening a restaurant- Just messing about with flavours and/or following recipes to the letter and switching off.This post isn't about me though- I just hope it's a decent example.The others I know are into motorbikes, following sport, also building things, also food and cooking, art/ painting/ drawing, animals etc etc- Find out what what floats your boat and go do some. Tie it in with other people for added enjoyment but also give yourself a bit of 'me time'.​Right- some businessey stuff.​Give yourself timeOkay, a kind of a reiteration here but as before.. bear with me.Take a step back and if needs be take some real time off of thinking about starting if you haven't done so yet. If you are in business and are feeling disillusioned, give yourself a bit of a break- systemise and consolidate a few things and try and get yourself on a plateau.​Of all the self-help and motivational things I hate most and feel are the most damaging- it's the 'It's only too late if you don't start now', 'Quit your job', 'Drop out of college' crap.If you want to start a business and get started, you would be far far better doing it small and part time alongside a job.I know you're tired on an evening and just can't get your brain to do something- I've been there.You're not thinking small enough yet, you're too caught up in whether you will be wasting time on something without an eventual payoff for it or whether it's worth it and will lead to the fast track of being a millionaire or more.Seriously, give yourself some space- take the next few weeks/ months to just enjoy doing nothing and then when you're ready- Start Really Small.If you're not sure what business to start- keep doing nothing. Stop resisting the real world- it will be there along with all it's wonderful opportunities when you come back to it. You'll hopefully be more realistic and willing to be a shade more mediocre when you come back.If you hate your job or someone in it, the next ones for you.​Figure out how to Tolerate Yourself and OthersAnd by others, I also mean other things.I actually think it's rare that we actually hate our jobs.I think it's more likely that we hate the fact that we are there.Whether it's because we feel too good for the job and it's inherent shortcomings or we can't really believe that we are on the same pay scale and worthiness as some of the dumb@sses we share our workplace with- we are really hating our belonging to that situation more than anything else.In order to move, and again this is the direct result of conversations with some of the successful people I know, we have to transcend the situation.Yes, we work alongside some horrible/ stupid/ pedantic/ lowly/ very special (not good special) people and hence in the eye of our colleagues and society we are on the same level as them.I feel for you and if we met I would quite possibly agree that you are better than them. Feeling bad about it isn't going to help you though so you must transcend.I'm not quite sure how the universe or its evolutionary system works (sorry Abrahamic religion people) but I think it's kind of a promotion system.I'd bet that the fish that made it onto the shore and grew legs were the descendants of the better of the fishes- I just don't think evolution created reptiles from the offspring of really crap fish- like 'Hey youre terrible at swimming and eating other smaller fish- you should try being a lizard".I think then, that it's kinda the same in society and as I said, in particular with my self made friends. Quite a few of them actually got into their present business by the way of an opportunity presented to them by being good at their previous jobs.It's similar to me as well. I ended with my 'day business' as I turned myself round and decided to start working hard at what I was doing and putting the troggs to the back of my mind.It got noticed and I was given several pay rises, I then ended up on the radar of my friends dad who owned his own business and asked me to run a project for him. 4 years later I'm flying and have invested in several other ventures/ people since.- Transcend and overcome the drudgery of what you are doing now while you are still there.Move on when its time and you're ready.​SystemisationI've decided to make this a separate post as it really covers too much for an already far too long post- I'll let you know when this is up fully but for now....Turn everything you do into a system.When you do eventually get going, think of every single step as something you might have to do again. Make a game out of making things into a system. Using either a basic paper notepad/ filing system or one of the free or built in word processors or spreadsheets, make a list of the things you are doing.It will speed up any rework, it will make you better at remembering things and it may force you into trimming wasted activities out of your day.You might feel silly writing down "Spend 4 hours browsing r/Entrepreneur" followed by "Watch 10 random guru videos back to back- but only halfway because they haven't given me the missing secret yet and the search must continue hastily"I promise I'll add more to this in the week but for now- Think 'Systemise It'.​The last couple of Dont'sI hope the majority of these items being dont's doesn't put you off- I do think you can do it if you get realistic and start being easier on yourself. Avoid things is easier than doing things and yields similar results. You don't have to run the 8 miles if you don't eat the extra donut (You can have one though!).A couple more things to avoid.Apps and online servicesTalking about what you're doing/ going to do.Apps and ServicesAny time spent looking at organisational, project management, CRM, email management, keyword/ adword, accounting, team comms etc etc etc apps, that you don't currently have a pressing need for is a complete waste of time.Especially if you are just starting out- by the time you need one the market will have changed and you will have to look though them all again.Trust me...been there and done that.Again, by all means have a browse. If you start evaluating them and heaven forbid buy any, you are fantasising and feeding your delusional side.Pen and paper works fine if not better than most apps. Particularly for a one man band or small team.​TalkingThe last but not be ignored thing I have noticed in others and has turned my life around since I stopped, is the ability to work on my stuff in silence and to keep one's counsel in general.If you need to tell people what you are doing, I think you are giving yourself some kind of reward internally. If you're getting the reward from telling your friends, family or colleagues- you won't feel the need to get the reward from selling or creating something when you finally get started.Bigging Up your business may have the same effect. You may not need to take it to the next level or wrap it up into a more passive income with the work being done by others if your ego is already getting it's hit.Secondly, it increases the anxiety towards the fact that you must be doing something right now. If you've told people you're going to move on from this situation and become a millionaire, your mind will be frantically looking towards things to do to make this happen.Until your opportunity has come along or you are ready for one, this could manifest itself in more addiction to the non worthy activities we've already been through.- Keep quiet until you get started.- When you do get started, continue being quiet about it.- If you're already in business, quieten up a bit.​​That wraps this one up and again I hope some of you find something useful.​​​​​​​