#(she is talking about the bodiless guy)

[fanpageofthedead]

so poor i soon will be

so poor

[come-down-that-tree]

Prologue Previous

Come Down That Tree! (An aftermare story)

Chapter special:  Dream’s takeover!

HEY! YOU, YEAH YOU! I’m taking over this chapter, xoxo. Dream.

“Hello there~

You may know me as Dream! Or maybe “one of the guardians of feelings”? “The positive one”? “The ultimate helper around town”? 

I’ve been called many things: “Dreamcatcher”, “Sunray”, “hey you”, “Princess Sunshine”, “strong bony guy”… 

And my favorite, I do not get to hear it often, “brother” or “twin”!

Because I am a brother and a twin to the other known guardian of feelings (yes we’re two on the job), the very purple-clothed Nightmare!

Well, if you’re from around here, you probably already know that? 

Oooor maybe you’re from far away and still new to this?

Let me tell you a bit about me, this village and my other half!

I should start at the beginning.

You see, Night’ and me? We were fully aware of our duty right after our creation. Our mother barely had time to whisper the story before she fully fused with the tree we now guard! Why did she do that? It’s a bit of a gruesome tale, let’s leave that for now… 

So, we twins, were borned spirits, bodiless and so full of the apples’ energy (the tree of feelings is an apple tree, isn’t that funny? Why not a cherry tree? I like cherries a lot…), acquired our body in the form of a skeleton monster’s shape and got released into the world!

I learned later that babies aren’t supposed to already know how to walk and talk and had to wait a few years sometimes to be as tall as we started our lives as. But then, it was just the way it was. We aren’t built quite the same as others.

We’re guardians.

We met the first villagers five years later (or so Nightmare says, I was bad at numbers then) and it was a whole experience.

They approached us very carefully, asking permission to settle down down the hill, promising they wouldn’t touch our treasure and would show us things we never saw before.

They offered us food and clothes and stories and many other things we did not know the use of. You see, our inane vocabulary stopped at what our mother knew about and even then, we lacked any true understanding (and genuine interest) about most stuff we grew up without.

I was very wary of these men back then and let my twin do aaaall the talk. So more useless words spoken, incredibly worthless compared to shouts of delight running through the long grass, compared to the low song of the stars twinkling high and compared to the earable pressure of one hand in another when the sun rises…

I despised those men. They were loud, foreign and constantly disrupting the peace of the forest nearby. But Nightmare was fascinated…and kept reaching out, delighted by the new knowledge he could gain from chatting with some and in his new favorite toys, books.

So I reached out as well, once the first children came around. I appreciated having new friends to run around and learning new games was nice. The beginning was slightly bumpy when I realized none were that interested in the games I enjoyed before meeting them. 

But despite that, they somehow grew on me fast.

I liked that period. The villagers started to bow less and dropped the formal titles the kids didn’t wait to ditch. I played all day, sometimes with Nighty, sometimes without him, and when the sun set, we’d cuddle against the tree, my twin reading aloud a story book and I’d always fall asleep right through it, dreaming of half tales (when our mother wouldn’t lurk around my sleepy mind).

Books really always were my brother’s thing, isn’t it?

Thankfully, nobody snitched on the fact yet I’m still awful at reading anything more complicated than market panels… Nightmare would never let me leave without running me through horrible classes once again. 

I’m not study-smart, ok?

The switch in attitude happened somewhere between the second and third wave of travelers joining the rapidly expanding I think.

I didn’t notice anything. One day, we would happily run together around half-built houses… The very next, we started walking very different paths.

I was always running down the streets and he always stayed put at the tree, claiming reading was more interesting or that he would go later.

I didn’t notice how fast we drifted away. I never really knew if something somehow got between us or just if that was the fate of two brothers with divergent interests…

Ugh, maybe that void where a strong connection had once been was one of the reasons I had such a miserable phase of experimenting things with people they claimed would “make me happy��� but we’re… not talking about that!

At this point, you might start to wonder why I’m telling you all this?

I just wanted to talk about something with you that happened recently in my life, in our life, that I have mixed feelings about and I believe some context was needed!

And that conversation stays between us! I trust you.

So…

A season ago or so (I never said I got that much better at numbers, do not look at me like that), I dragged a homeless unconscious guy back home. 

Now, it doesn’t sound very good, said like that, but how can someone fall on what looks fairly similar to your build, all passed out on the dirt and not think “I must drag him to my tree?”

I know I’m right, now next thing.

I’m an hospitable guy so when I see no one is going to give a stray a home downtown, of course I tell him he can put his butt in my spot of grass!

I didn’t really take into account that allowing a stranger in our home would upset Nightmare and, that, maybe is at least part my fault for dumping that poor guy here…

I think, however, that Geno was a needed change in our life.

Maybe a dangerous change, teetering along the line of good and bad ideas each day something happened…

But despite the fear and confusion after those few “accidents”, I can’t deny Nightmare’s true smile, I missed him.

I’m worried however.

No amount of aweing at surprising them sleeping close or sharing stupidly sweet moments can take away the fact, the village’s atmosphere is more… sour than usual.

Especially since the last (bad) event! 

Last verflor festival, I went with Nightmare in the village with the objective of making the most of the day and sweeping some flowers to redecorate our mother’s scar. It didn’t go as planned. 

I lost Nightmare in the crowd when I got swept away by the music and the playful offers of dance by the local children. 

Maybe the fact I got used to waltzing alone around there is the main reason it took me so long to notice the devastating absence. Or that old couple dominating the place with their dance was that good.

Regardless of the reason, I let go of his hand and wandered alone.

In fact, while I was a smidge anxious when I noticed… I thought he’d be fine and that he’d probably just go back to the tree first! 

That maybe he’d pout at me for leaving him and after some banter, we’d tell our day to Geno and all!

That’s not what happened.

And you know that, don’t you?

I searched around for a moment but I kept getting robbed into activities or helping (something that strangely did not happen when I was still holding Night’s hand).

The sun was already down before I managed to flee back home, energy buzzing at the thought of finding my missing brother).

I was right about one thing.

I did find him here.

Small and shaky, curled up in Geno’s arms.

I was welcomed by a hard glare from our guest and cruel silence.

They both refused to tell me what happened and I didn’t insist.

I felt guilty enough like that.

It’s been some time since then.

Things are more or less back to normal.

I’m not stupid however…

And I do not like the dots I’m starting to connect.”

End of chapter 18... Go to chapter 19?

@dragon-tamer-1 @shinechermont

Geno!Sans belongs to @/loverofpiggies Nightmare, Dream and dreamtale belong to @/jokublog

[tekamoona]

Theory: The Eighth House, the Stoma & Nona the Ninth

"Don't you dare ask me what I thought of Colum Asht. I will weep."

Thanks for the reminder, Ianthe. I can't imagine Tamsyn brought in Colum for no reason other than 'he's a forgettable guy'. Now I have a loose theory to share!

Soul Siphoning & the Stoma

Colum Asht is specifically named by Ianthe because he's still a loose end. He wasn't in Harrow's dream bubble because his soul wasn't in the River. Something took over his body in the process of Silas vacating it for soul siphoning.

When Colum Asht's body is taken over, it's described as [...] Colum's eyeballs were gone — and now the sockets were mouths ringed with teeth, with little tongues slithering out of them. The tongue in his original mouth extended out, down, wrapping itself around her neck—

When the stoma opens, as Augustine tries to push John into it, it's described as [...] the tongues emerged. [...] Streamlike lingual tentacles emerged — the unassuming pink you got on normal, non-Hell-bound tongues. Generally, the tentacles are described as wrapping around Augustine and John, and pulling them towards the stoma.

There's a similar theme of tentacle-tongues grasping at people here. I'd hazard a guess that when Silas is sending Colum's soul away, it isn't just sent to the River, the soul is sent to the stoma, the mouth of Hell.

And this is corroborated by Augustine's dig at Mercymorn, the founder of the 8th: You never did take the stoma seriously, which is why your whole damned House sucks at it like a grotesque teat--

So it's probably not just that Colum's soul just happened to get swapped out with something from the stoma, but they intentionally send their battery-cav souls there.

Cristabel Oct

Now let's talk about the origin of soul siphoning. Mercymorn seems to have inspired this form of necromancy, given Augustine's comment.

If she practiced this with Cristabel during her time at Canaan House (which is likely, given that soul siphoning was one of the theorems Gideon and Harrow faced in GtN) — she must have sent Cristabel towards the stoma many times as her cav.

Something about Cristabel's description in the words of Augustine strikes interesting: A total delight. Effervescent. Kind to animals and children. A master of the sword. Did not have the intellect you'd ordinarily find in a sandwich or an orange, and was a sickening twerp into the bargain.

Cristabel Oct sounds a lot like Nona.

Nona the Ninth & Alecto

But aren't we fairly certain at this point that Alecto was the person inhabiting Nona this entire time? The ending of Nona the Ninth seems to pretty much confirm this, so I don't think that Nona is necessarily Cristabel full stop.

So I wonder if Alecto was really in the body that entire time. After all, when John describes putting down A.L., he says: Annabel Lee... was not the dying kind [...] It might be more accurate to say that I switched her off.

What better way to displace Alecto's soul without outright killing her than sending it to the stoma, the same way Eighth House necromancers do? He'd have a great, vacuous cavalier from which to draw power... all the while still maintaining his lyctorhood, unlike other lyctors who don't have an empty body to siphon from.

And every time Cristabel was sent to the stoma during her and Mercymorn's lyctorhood research, while Alecto was 'switched off', Cristabel's soul could have mingled with Alecto's, in the same way that Naberius's soul touches Palamedes' when they occupy the same space as bodiless entities.

Cristabel's soul could've given Alecto all the traits with see in Nona that shouldn't reasonably be present in someone who has only been described as monstrous — Cristabel's love for animals and children, her delightful silliness.

As for how Alecto came to inhabit Nona, here we see the brilliance in Colum Asht's example. While his body was vacant, it gave opportunity for something else from the stoma to take his body over. That empty vessel was a house for a stoma-thing to move in.

There is a point between Harrow the Ninth and Nona the Ninth where Gideon is returned to her original body, but Harrow is not inhabiting her own body. At this point in time, Harrow's body is an empty vessel for something from the stoma to take over, and that's where Alecto comes in. It's not just a simple body-swap where Alecto and Harrow have swapped places.

In summary: Alecto, like the stoma-creature that took over Colum Asht's vacated body, took over Harrow's vacated body — and with Cristabel's virtuous traits having touched her soul, became Nona.

...

Footnote: Please let me know if I'm missing something. I haven't fully read the books in a while, just piecing interesting stuff together that seems to have coalesced now that I've finally read this short story.

[thefanficmonster]

Love For The Faceless

Corpse Husband x Youtuber!Reader(Female)

Warnings: Swearing

Genre: Fluff 

Summary: Y/N is a YouTube gamer who has recently gained a much larger following thanks to the streams she does with her friends. Naturally, considering her faceless and bodiless nature, people are starting to get curious about her. When she finally follows her friend Corpse’s example, a lot more than her hands is revealed.

Requested by anon, you know who you are 😉 Thank you so much for placing a request and hope this fic fulfills the expectations you have for it.

“Hey!“ I greet the lobby as I finally hop into the Discord call after quickly saying ‘hi‘ to my audience.

I’ve been a YouTuber for four years now and I’ve only recently started streaming, encouraged to do so by my best friend Rae. She’s the one who got me in multiplayer games such as Among Us and Phasmophobia which led me to meet her amazing gaming squad that consists of some of the most famous names on the platform. They are all wonderful people and I will forever be in Rae’s debt for introducing me to them. However, becoming friends with Felix, Sean and the rest of the team brought not only a more fulfilled life, but also a small boost in following. Who am I kidding, it wasn’t small. It was overwhelming, terrifying even.

My YouTube channel had a little over a million subscribers at the start of quarantine and now....now it’s closer to three million. Speaking of three million, I’m about to reach it any day now and it’s really hard to believe. I’m a gaming youtuber and I’ve never considered changing my genre despite expecting to not get any attention whatsoever, with all the big names on the platform. I was convinced not even as many as a hundred people would stumble across my videos and now here we are.

My OG subscribers are very supportive of my sudden growth and are defending me when my newer fans ask for a face reveal or whatnot. While we’re on that topic I might have to mention that not even my YouTube friends, and that includes Rae have seen my face. I’ve been faceless and bodiless for the entirety of my time on social media. Some claim I do it to grab more attention or for dramatic effect, but the reason is beyond that. I’m not shallow. Actually, shallow people are the reason I don’t show my face. I’ve never been the prettiest, but my middle school bully thought that I wasn’t lacking self confidence enough. As a result, I ended up with a not so handsome scar on my right cheek that starts from the corner of my mouth and nearly misses my eye. Yeah, it’s a long and pretty noticeable scar that has thankfully become less and less obvious as the years have progressed. Still, it’s not something I’d like to show to my viewers.

Eight ‘hi’s greet me back, each making my smile grow wider. “Sorry I’m late guys. Technical difficulties.” 

“Don’t worry.“ Rae’s voice dominates over the rest, “Corpse still isn’t here so we’re waiting for him.“

I mute myself on the Discord call and take a look at my comments. I’m most flattered by the comments about my voice. Seeing as how they don’t have much to compliment about me other than my content, they make the nicest comments about my voice, personality and humor. Those comments are the ones who warm my heart most. Even when people in my day to day life compliment my appearance I can’t find it in me to believe they are being genuine. I’d like to believe these amazing people are being one hundred percent honest when they tell me they like me for who I am and not for what I might look like.

“Sorry I’m late guys.“ A deep voice causes me to even physically jolt, switching my focus from the comments to the Among Us lobby where my eyes land on the newly materialized black avatar.

“Hi Corpse.“ Rae greets him.

“Hello mister who broke Twitter!“ Sean laughs, provoking the laughter of the rest of the players.

“Yeah, congratulations man. That’s a big deal.“ Felix chimes in.

“Thanks guys, but I think you’re forgetting we’re talking about a picture of my hand.“ Corpse chuckles timidly. I have noticed how shy he gets when someone gives him a compliment - like a snail slowly withdrawing in its shell. I find it adorable.

“That’s what makes it even better!“ I unmute my mic, sending my own congratulations.

“While we’re on that topic...“ Rae begins, waiting for the rest of us to shut our traps, suggesting she has something important to say. “Y/N, do you ever plan on doing a reveal like that? Not a face reveal. Just a body part reveal.“

I have no problem talking about the subject with friends but I get nervous when I’m supposed to discuss it with my fans. Seeing as how everyone, including myself, is streaming right now, I get a bit of a stutter in my speech. “Haven’t thought about it yet. But I guess a body part reveal is harmless.” I cringe immediately after letting the words leave my mouth, “That sounds so weird.”

Rae knows that I’m not too fond of my face, but I haven’t told her about my scar yet. I let almost all people I’ve met online think I’m using my lack of appearance for effect. For the mystery of it all. Mysteries attract people which equals attention. Attention equals views and the domino effect continues.

“Just a suggestion. No pressure.“ Rae adds quickly, knowing full well I get anxious when the subject is brought up in front of cameras. “Let’s get this game started, shall we.”

                                                          * * *

The idea dwells in my mind, sitting on the back burner even after I disconnect from the Discord call. I’m sitting in my gaming chair, which was a gift for my two million milestone, and weighing out the pros and cons of the action Rae suggested I take.

“It’s a picture of your fucking hand, dummy. How bad can it turn out?“ I say out loud, shaking my head at my indecisiveness. “You’ll be fine.”

In a blur, two pictures are already posted on my Instagram. The first one captioned ‘Took a leaf from my friend’s book. Did I do it right @ corpsehusband?’ and the second ‘Thanks, Rae. These are on you.’

Rae’s POV

As I’m watching a movie in my living room, I get a notification from Instagram, informing me that Y/N has posted for the first time in a while.

I scoff, “More like the first time in forever.”

The first thing that comes to my mind is the possibility of her reaching that three million milestone that’s been long time coming. I bring the glass of water that’s sitting on my coffee table to my lips, taking a sip as I tap the notification. The picture I see makes me hurry to put the glass back down so I don’t drop it. Y/N’s hand. Her fingers are covered with several thin rings each. And here I thought Corpse had too many rings, this girl has at least two on every finger! 

Then my eyes land on the second picture she has posted only minutes after the first and my heart drops. I struggle to get the water that’s been sitting in my moth down my esophagus while my mind is struggling with the task to comprehend the picture I’m looking at. 

Another hand is resting on top of Y/N’s. A hand also covered in rings but fewer and larger. The nails are painted black. 

I think I know who it belongs to.

Before I can even finish the thought, I’m dialing Y/N. She picks up after the second ring, sound cheery as ever as she greets me. “Hey Rae!”

“Don’t you ‘Hey Rae’ me!” I practically scream. I hate being kept in the dark about anything ever so this is just driving me mad. On top of all, she’s my best friend, for fuck’s sake. “Is that Corpse in the photo with you?!”

“Ugh....“ the cheeriness to her voice is all but gone now.

I go on with my rant, not giving her the time to reply. Not that she would reply. I bet she doesn’t know what to say. “So he knows where you live?! Or was the picture taken at his place?! He knows what you look like?! You have seen him! He has seen you in real life but me, your best friend, haven’t!!! You are breaking Covid 19 protection laws to take pictures?! Are you fucking serious, Y/N?!”

There’s a long moment of silence which frustrates me even more but I literally have run out of things to yell and the power to be angry. I mean, I still am, I just can’t express it.

“Rae, sweetheart, please calm down. You’re scary when you’re mad.“ This girl has some fucking nerve! She’s on the verge of laughing!

“Listen here you...“ 

“Rae, please stop scaring my girlfriend.“ That oh so distinguishable, oh so familiar voice interrupts me.

I am flabbergasted, for a lack of a better term.

“Now that we’ve got you quiet, I can explain.“ Y/N pics up the conversation, “Corpse and I have been dating for six, almost seven months now. We started dating around Easter after talking for quite some time. We moved in together at the end of September. All thanks to you, Rae. You’re the best.” She pauses to breathe in real quick, “There, all caught up?“

I’m in no less shock than I was before she explained. Actually, I think I might be even more confused now. It all just feels like a fever dream. “Yes...no. I don’t fucking know! I need details, Y/N!”

“Details later.“ Corpse makes his presence known once again, “We’re watching Family Guy right now. Talk to you later.“

“Love you, Rae!“ Y/N calls out before the line goes dead.

My arm goes limp, dropping my phone on the couch next to me. 

“Motherfuckers” I mumble under my breath.

Y/N’s POV

It’s been a week since Rae has stopped talking to both Corpse and me. I know she just needs some time to cool off. In the meantime, the rest of our friends were informed and, as oppose to Rae, were nothing but supportive and overjoyed. I bet Rae feels the same way though. Sean, Dave and the rest of the gang have confirmed that she’s incredibly happy for us and says she noticed a spark between me and him since day one, but she can’t help but be mad at us, and especially me, for not telling her sooner.

“Any regrets?“ I remember Corpse asking me when we hung up on her after dropping the bomb.

“Not being able to see her face when she saw the picture.“ I beam at him, feeling as content as ever.

He laughs, agreeing with me before leaning down to kiss me.

@susceptible-but-siriusexual  @simonsbluee  @save-the-sky  @hacker-ghost  @itsminniekat  @bi-andready-tocry  @imtiredaffff  @jazzkaurtheglorious  @hereforbeebo  @fandomgirl17  @chrysanthykios

[dandelionflower]

She’s not here

They were all on the bus, heading back to the hotel for dinner and rest.

It was hard work, fixing up a park, but the class did it well. By the end of the day, it was beautiful, all traces of trash had disappeared and they had even managed to give some benches a new coat of paint.

Lila beamed and clapped as it was over, promising everyone a scoop of ice cream, as was tradition when she finished a big project. However, when they found a place that was selling ice cream, she realized she left her wallet in her room.

Apologizing profusely, she swore that she’d get them a treat some other time.

“This has never happened before; I’m so sorry everyone!”

Alya patted her shoulder. “It’s okay, girl. You already helped so much to heal that park; let us do something for you.”

“At least let me order for all of you.”

“If you want, girl, sure.”

“Okay, I’m usually really good at guessing people’s favorite ice cream flavors once I get to know them, so I should be good for most of you, but since Marinette and I haven’t been on such good terms lately, I’ll probably need to ask her. Where is she?”

“I dunno. Mari!” Alya called into the meager crowd of students. “Come on out, hun, we need to know your pick for ice cream!”

Adrien piped up from the back, where he was chatting with Rose. “I don’t think she’s here. She must not have come back from her walk.”

Alya felt her heart race with concern. “Lila, I know you want us to have ice cream, but there’s no way we can just leave Marinette in the forest.”

“Of course not, Alya.” She placed a hand on her shoulder. “I’ll go look for her after I place our orders. I know these woods better than anybody; I’ll have her back in a jiff.”

“Okay, thanks Lila.” She let out a breath, leaning against Nino.

True to her word, Lila left soon after ordering for everyone, heading down the sidewalk to look for Marinette. Sure, she seemed to be going the wrong way, but it was probably a shortcut she forgot to mention.

—

The walk back to the hotel was lovely, with Alya and Adrien arguing over which picture of Ladybug should be the new header for her blog and Nino holding her hand the whole way.

It was only when she got back to the hotel and saw Lila lounging beside a cute boy, did she remember that her BFF was missing.

“Lila! Did you find her?”

Adrien jolted, mid-sentence and looked up at Lila with hopeful eyes. It seemed that he forgot about Marinette too.

Lila sat still for a moment, before a look of remorse crossed her face.

“I’m so sorry, Alya. I couldn’t find her. I scoured every path, but nothing.”

“I should probably check.” Adrien raised his hand. “After all, I’m her boyfriend.”

“That’s a great idea.” Lila stood and walked to clasp Adrien’s arm. “I’ll come too, so we don’t get lost like Marinette.”

An odd look crossed Adrien’s face, but he nodded nevertheless. They began walking to the exit.

“Ah!” Lila flinched, clutching her leg. “My leg! I must have sprained it while looking for Marinette.”

“Oh!” Alya rushed to Lila’s other side, helping Adrien hold her up. “Let’s get you to our room, maybe get some ice for that leg.”

“No, I know you and Nino probably wanted to spend some time together. Adrien can take me. After all, what are all of those fencing lessons for?” She nudged him with a teasing grin, which he shakily returned. Poor guy, probably so worried about Marinette.

“Okay, make sure you call me if you need anything.” She grabbed both of her shoulders. “Anything.”

“Of course.” She smiled and patted her arm before tugging Adrien to the stairs.

Alya turned to Nino with a beam. “Soo, wanna hang out?”

He rolled his eyes, slipping his headphones back around his neck. “Of course, it’s not like we’ve talked about it since we found out about the trip.”

She leaned into his side, pressing a kiss on his jaw. “I’ve looked up a map, and I’m ready to show you all the sights.”

“Hi!” An unfamiliar voice surprised them; it was chirpy like Rose, but not quite as high. They turned in unison and saw a willowy girl with a long ponytail trailing down her back. An odd headband was woven into the deep purple locks.

“Sorry to eavesdrop, but I heard you two were looking for a place to hang out? Might I suggest…” her eyes landed on Alya’s face before brightening up again. “The aquarium? In the evening like this, the lights turn on and everything seems to glow an incredible blue.”

“Really?” She glanced at Nino with a grin. “That sounds like an incredible thing to put on my blog! Come on, Nino, let’s go!”

“Okay.” He chuckled and allowed himself to be pulled down a random hallway.

“Just take a right, then a left. It should be two doors down!”

They both giggled like kindergartners as they ran down the halls. Nino stopped and cocked a brow when she continued pulling him past the door the girl mentioned.

“Let’s play a game.” She whispered. “We both get lost and try to meet back here. Video chat so we know we don’t cheat.”

He pulled out his phone and called her in response.

Once they had gotten thoroughly lost, Alya set a timer and began dashing back to the aquarium.

It took her three minutes. (she may have cheated a little bit, but it wasn’t her fault! Nino is really cute when he gets winded from running!) She stumbled into the room, listening to Nino complain about how much she was making him run.

It was incredible. The latent orange from the sunset and the blues from the aquarium blended in a perfect contrast that she almost dropped her phone.

“Whereisshe...”

“You say something babe?” She glanced down at her phone. It was blank; no service.

Oh well, Nino would tell her what he said when he got here. Meanwhile, she raised her camera app to capture the stunning sight before her.

“She’snothere...”

A flicker at the corner of her screen. She lowered her phone, but nothing was there. It was slipped into her pocket as she turned to the larger aquarium. The fish seemed to be missing, except for one bright orange angel fish.

“She’snothere...”

The fish swam in hypnotizing figure eights. Alya stared at it, entranced. It felt like with every figure eight, the fish was stealing a little bit of breath from her.

“She’snothere.”

The fish moved faster and faster, until the swift motions combined with her shortness of breath made it look almost like it was forming a circle.

“She’snothere.”

No, not a circle.... a face. A face with thick rimmed glasses and a mole just above her eye. A face that looked like hers, but not.

“She’snothere. She’snothere. She’s. Not. HERE.”

A body erupted from the water, and Alya flinched from the waved, but they didn’t even spray her with a mist. Almost like they weren’t there.

A girl stood before her, hair in knots, staring at Alya. She was in a fancy blue dress that looked like it should be poofy, if not for the water dripping from the hem.

Alya stood stock-still, chest heaving. “Who are you?”

“Where is she?” A voice hissed from nowhere.

The girl looked at her with hollow eyes. “She’s not here.”

“Who are you walking about? What was that voice?”

The figure jolted, like a glitching video. Suddenly, her hair was neat and styled. Her dress was dry and fanned out around her.

“Are you okay? What’s going on?”

“Where is she?” The bodiless voice asked again, this time in a tone so sickly sweet, Alya felt like retching.

Her mirror image grinned at the ceiling, walking closer to the empty aquarium. She put her hand on it, like she was about to push open a door.

“She’s right here.”

Spectral waves rushed from the glass, assaulting and surrounding Alya. Her breaths became more and more shallow, it felt like her throat was closing up.

Like she was drowning.

—

When Nino came in, panting and just barely biting his tongue from cussing, Alya was curled in a ball on the floor, wheezing.

“Als!” He fell to his knees beside her, taking in her vitals like he learned in the akuma relief seminar. “You okay? It looks like you had either an allergic reaction or a panic attack. What was in that ice cream you ate?”

“Don’t...know... Lila ordered.” She gripped his hand tightly and pulled herself up, pulling out her phone and dialing Lila’s number.

“Alya!” She could hear the smile in her voice. “Adrien, come on over, it’s Alya.”

“Hey Alya.”

“What... was in the ice cream?”

“The ice cream I ordered? I can’t remember... hazelnuts, I think?”

She glanced at Nino with wide eyes. She was allergic to hazelnuts. Not enough to do anything serious, but enough that she had a little trouble breathing afterwards. That must also explain that weird stuff she saw too; oxygen deprivation.

Nino grabbed her arm, fully intent on taking her to her room to recuperate for the rest of the night. She allowed him to, still a little shaken.

—

A sleek fox sat in front of a broken-eyed ghost. So?

“She’s not here.” Anya replied, glaring at the ceiling. She looked back down, her defiant eyes turning sad. “She’s not here.”

Not true. She’s here, and she’s safe and sound in her room.

Her broken eyes lit up and she floated purposefully towards the best room in the home.

Not yet you don’t! Finny hovered in front of the ghost. She’s sleeping and you won’t bother her!

The ghost nodded forlornly and dissipated.

That settles it, doesn’t it? Grace asked once the ghost was gone

Yep, Allegra moved forwards. These students are helping them pass on. Once they impart their knowledge, and scare them straight, they get their free will back, to haunt or help who they choose.

It’s weird though, isn’t it? Finny mused. How just one word could have changed everything? If Anny had just lied to her, none of this will be happening.

But she didn’t. Allegra reminded him softly. None of them did, and this is the price they pay.

Yeah... Finny flew low. Hey Allegra?

Yeah, Fin?

She’s here. Giddiness oozed from his voice.

Yeah, Allegra stared at the hallway leading to the girl that gave their lives purpose again, she is.

………

The rest

………

@merry-madness @calliopeia @drama-queen-supreme @kaydenth3gayden @mcheang @nomiegnome @never-say-donuts @vixen-uchiha @miracul0us-multishipper @hauntedfreakdeputyhero @chocolatecustarddanish @iwantswifttoblessmysoul @digitalmagpie @ilseofskadi @nerdy-and-a-little-birdy @minty-goose @nataladriana9 @constellation-king @animegirlweeb @persephonebutkore @ahalloweengirl @r0sebutch @marinettepotterandplagg @beelzzebop @akalovelymaybe @pleasefollowmeuwu @angelost4r @constancetruggle @speaknowtome @some-oxymoron @nerdy-scifi-birdy @purplesundaze @aestheticnpoetic @neptuningkai @2confused-2doanything @goggles-mcgee @grumpy-kitten-vixen @atremisdragona @lookatthestars1 @demonicbusiness @toodaloo-kangaroo

[fantasychica37]

Things that happen when Valinor invents internet:

People banned from Wikipedia for editing the pages about themselves: Feanor, Eonwe (he also edited the Wikipedia page about Manwe), Legolas, Tulkas, Thingol, Celegorm, Caranthir, Curufin, Sauron (how even did he access a computer as a bodiless wisp of a spirit????)

Aule loves the idea of the internet and tries to set up his new computer using his powers, and then the nearest tech support store gets a visitor who is clearly a Vala pretending to be an elf who brings in a computer more completely bricked than anything the tech support guy has ever seen, and the tech support guy makes him promise to follow the manual’s instructions or the next time he won’t get a free replacement (a compromise between the desire to yell at this idiot and the fear of what his boss would do to him if he found out he yelled at a Vala, and why didn’t whoever this is send one of their Maiar to do this anyway? Of course, the answer is Aule was hoping no one else would find out)

Every famous historical figure has memes made about them that they then reblog

Feanor tries to send a cease-and-desist letter to some adolescent elf who makes a meme about “the family that slays together stays together”

The Milker meme

Instead of “Ugandan Knuckles” it’s “Noldorin Knuckles” (they lisp all their words and chant “Thilmarilth” over and over again)

Yavanna gets personally offended at No Nut November (November is Hisime in Quenya, what’s another H word that would fit??) a la that one food company on Twitter, and then Gandalf, who has the distinct misfortune of knowing what No Nut November really is, has to explain it to her

Manwe tries to be cool and is the most frequent star on r/fellowkids

Varda too but everyone likes making fun of Manwe more because stars are cool

That dumb meme about “#triggered” still exists (whose use in real life, by the way, is the equivalent of having sex and using the safeword “the”), but it’s whenever an elf with dark or silver hair looks at something shiny

Nienna spends all her time on forums and tries to counsel depressed people and incels and racist people and all that to the point where she’s neglecting her other duties and Gandalf has to get Manwe to formally order her to restrict her time online because people act like idiots online and are more likely to listen when someone talks to them in real life (so instead she occasionally shows up at random people’s houses, and Gandalf helps with his dream-sending thing)

Gandalf is a social media phenomenon and has a Twitter where he just posts random thoughts and everyone loves him, kind of like wolf pupy

Feel free to add more, folks!!!

[ktheist]

muses. familiar!cat-shifter!yoongi x witch!reader

83.“My friends get so annoyed by how much I talk sometimes.”

x

“i thought witches don’t have friends.” yoongi scratches his arm, opening the fridge and checking out what little sustenance you have in it.

not much.

“and i thought familiars are supposed to indulge in their masters needs and wants,” hands on your hips you look at him with knitted brows and a pout.

but exactly five heartbeats later, you hear your phone buzzing and you’re hurrying to grab your bag, “i’ll be back!”

a second after the door closes shut, your head pops back in, the sulking pout now gone and in its place, the most brilliant smile and brightest twinkle in your eyes, “let’s have chicken for dinner! i left the money on the counter so you can order it and we can eat together.”

and then you’re gone.

min yoongi grumbles, eyes burning holes in the fifty dollar note lying on the white countertop.

‘did she think i’m broke or something?’

well, yoongi was quite literally homeless and living on tree branches in the deepest part of south korea’s reserves. but he was only living there because his last witch died from greed.

take over the world. become queen of every species on earth.

that sort of greed.

but you?

this 20-something year old pays - well, the humans like to call it tuition fee - to be a slave to an education that isn’t even beneficial to witches.

huh.

yoongi feels sorry for your bodiless ancestors who got burned at the stakes. if they had graves, they would be turning in them but they don’t because they took the risk to learn and practice witchcraft even if it was forbidden in their times.

now you’ve got all the reasons to learn - humans got so stupid that they stopped believing in anything besides logic - but you’re using him to predict what’s going to come out in your tests.

x

“ugh, my tailbone’s about to liquidize from having to sit in that exam hall for five freaking hours.” mina grumbles, stretching her arms over her head.

“okay, but why the fuck do we have to write a 10 page essay on why plato think our end goal is happiness?” soyeon’s scrunches her nose, as if physically cringing at the remembrance of it.

“isn’t that like, a statement? weren’t we supposed to talk about rousseau?” nayeon’s brows knit together in utter confusion.

“shit.” you’d expect soyeon to be cursing but it’s mina.

after a series of mina freaking out and the rest of you trying to calm her down by saying whatever possible answer they discussed could very well be wrong because nobody recalled hearing the professor mention who this rousseau scholar-guy.

except you.

and it wasn’t the professor who mentioned it.

it was the grumpy shapeshifting cat you’ve taken in who also happens to have futuristic premonitions.

almost as if they could hear your thoughts, soyeon turns to you, “we should’ve trusted ___’s instincts.”

technically, you were doing some reading on rousseau’s natural law theory when the girls sneaked up on you and scared your literal soul out of your body. they were surprised that you were even studying so you passingly mentioned having a strong, unquestionable feeling that he’s going to make an appearance in finals.

“you girls should’ve listened to me,” you cheekily proclaim, hands on your hips and chin tilted so high up, you can almost see the sun.

“oh great finals goddess, please tell us what you think will come out for criminal procedures,” mina gets on her knees without a care in the world and starts praying for you.

it wasn’t hard to stroke your ego and your friends know that better than anyone. so you tell them what they want to know on a pretense of ‘just predictions! don’t put all your eggs in one basket. i might be wrong!’

“yoongi, i’m home,” you singsong, swinging the door open only to have your shoulders sag at the lack of a certain black haired grump who would usually be sleeping on the couch and grumble for you to ‘shut up, i’m taking a nap.’

“huh, he’s not here.” you kick off your shoes and pad over to your room only to have your heart flutter at the sight of a cat snugly curled up in your bed.

“yoongi!” you squeal, dropping your bag and books on the floor before bounding over to the bed and gathering the slumbering feline in your arms.

the cat’s golden slits seem to appear on guard until they soften at the sight of you. he yawns widely as he stretches in your arms.

“i’m home, yoongi.” this time, your voice is barely above whisper, hand scratching his furry body as you lay on your bed, staring at the ceiling.

“you were right about rousseau and now my friends think i have some sixth sense,” you prattle on while the weight on your chest starts curling himself up - you have no strand of doubt that if you just looked down, the black feline will be snoring away as if he doesn’t have a single ounce of care for your story-telling.

not that yoongi’s ever showed an interest in your life besides the magic that you happen to bottle up and exploded the day he was walking around in seoul out of boredom.

you’re not sure when you fell asleep, but you wake up to the sound of ‘here’s your chicken’ and a ‘thanks’ before the door clicks shut.

“was that the chicken?” groggy but hungry, you march over the kitchen where yoongi - now in his human form - is taking out the boxes with your favorite swicy chicken restaurant symbol from the plastic bag.

“with the way you were snoring, i didn’t think i should order dinner at all,” he says nonchalantly.

“i-i don’t snore!” you almost scream, cheeks heating up.

“uh-huh,” there it is again, the nonchalant tone that almost drives you up the wall. then he turns to face you, index finger tapping the corner of his mouth, “you’ve got some drool there.”

almost as if possessed by a chaotic spirit, you trudge to the bathroom, slamming the door behind you in your haste. your reflection stares back at you with bed hair pointing everywhere and alarmed, round eyes as you wipe the corner of your mouth with the back of your hand only to notice nothing there. you repeat the motion once again and true enough, not a smidge of drool is present.

“that lying-!” you huff, marching back to the kitchen with one objective in mind.

“lying isn’t very nice, yoongi,” you say, barely putting a lid on the boiling anger.

“being too trustful isn’t very witch-like either.” he counters, a swicy chicken in hand and bright red sauce in the corner of his mouth.

“i curse you into a monkey!” you scream, index finger pointed in his direction.

but instead of the black haired familiar morphing and turning into the animal you cursed him into, he continues eating without even batting an eye.

“what- but-” you look at your hand and then back at him, “i cursed you!”

“you can’t curse your own familiar.” he finally says halfway into your quarter-ish life crisis, “now sit down and eat before your stomach starts grumbling too.”

you huff in bashful frustration. face too hot to even look at yoongi in eye but you’re too hungry to throw another fit.

believe it or not, this is just one of your routine in your daily life - him teasing you, completely nonchalantly and you getting worked up over it and end up making a fool out of yourself.

in a few hours, you’ll end up forgetting it ever happens and end up cuddling the cat that’s curled up on your pillow. you’ve just finished revising another topic of your next exam.

the next time you wake up, it’s to grown sized male snuggling into your chest, his arm slung over your back and your leg wedged between his. there’s not so much as a hair’s breadth between you.

“y-yoongi,” you stammer out, unable to think properly.

but when the aforementioned man simply groans and nuzzles his face in between your boobs, your cheeks hit up and your hand ends up swinging in the air before it hits its target.

his cheek.

now he sports a red handprint on his porcelain skin as he goes around, making coffee for himself while you diligently study at your desk. it’s some time in the afternoon that a furry ball leaps into your lap and kneads your thighs with his little paws before curling into a ball.

“aren’t you so cute?” your heart flutters at the adorable little fur ball, hand scratching the underside of his neck and giggling at how he’s purring in appreciation.

you end up dropping your apple pencil and shutting off your ipad. carrying the clingy furball in your arms, you plop down your bed.

“ugh, my back feels like it’s gonna crumble off like biscuit crumbs,” you lament, not caring if the sentence makes no sense.

but before you can think of any other sentence that makes no absolute sense, you feel the weight on your stomach shift, the furball you were caressing now turning into a lump of skull with actual human hair as it holds itself up and places its forehead on yours.

“how is it that you willingly take me to bed when i’m a cat and slap me in the face like i’m some pervert when i’m my human form?” this time, you know he’s teasing you because he’s smirking like he’s amused.

“it’s different because you were a cat!” you thank merlin that your voice comes out strong and certain.

“i’m still me no matter what form i take though,” his hand is warm on your thigh. his breath fans your skin, “still a man.”

“it’s different,” you know you sound meek compared to when you started out.

but your face is hot and your heart is palpitating inside your chest. all of a sudden you feel too shy to even look at him. so you cast your gaze to the side. relief floods your system when he lifts his head from yours. but it’s short-lived. teeth bite on the delicate skin of your neck. not enough to hurt but enough to incite a surprised yelp from you.

and a swing of your hand.

that’s how yoongi ends up with another red handprint on his other cheek. the first one is barely disappearing.

and you, with a hickey on your neck that you don’t know what to explain to your friends tomorrow when you meet them for the exam.

but one good thing comes out of it. after the slap, a rope materializes and wraps itself around yoongi. it’s pure magic and not even he can undo it.

“stop teasing me,” you start, sitting on the chair with your legs crossed.

“start treating me like i’m a man even in my cat form and i’ll consider that,” he counters.

at that, you lift an eyebrow, all of a sudden feeling a rush of confidence, “start acting like a man in your human form then.”

that’s when yoongi looks at you like you’ve challenged his essence. his existence.

“untie me and i’ll show you what a man is, master,” he challenges back.

it’s the word ‘master’ that gets your stomach fluttering with butterflies.

“you have two heads but you’re using the useless one to interpret what ‘a man’ means?” eyebrows rising to the ceiling, you pretend to be surprised.

“you’re a witch but you don’t even know how to use a spell,” he shrugs, reverted to his nonchalant self.

and that’s what irks you the most. how he acts like it has nothing to do with him but rubs your lacking in your face.

“lay down.” you order and his body is sent flying backwards, barely missing the wall in his abrupt descent.

yoongi groans, gathering himself once again.

“see, i know you can’t go against my words,” you say, triumphant.

“how did you find out?” he strains his neck, trying to look at you now that he’s laying down.

“the way you always did what i asked and last night, you ordered the chicken anyway even though i was sleeping and i could’ve slept through the entire night.” those were suspicions - you only confirmed it when you gave him the direct order.

“fine, you win,” he announces, barely caring about the argument.

“good.” you nod, mentally willing the rope to untie itself. but nothing happens.

you try again.

and again.

and again.

“can i please be released?” yoongi finally says after one too many mental tries.

“uh, wait,” you push yourself off the chair and tread over to manually undo the knot that keeps the rope tightly wrapped around yoongi.

“you can’t do it with magic?” comes the million dollar question.

you sigh, dejected, “i think i need to be angry - or feel strongly about something to get my magic to work.”

that’s what happened when yoongi met you. overstressed and barely focusing on your surroundings, you ended up getting run over someone who was on a bike. everything just kept going wrong. you ended up bawling your eyes out on the sidewalk - the man who ran over you started panicking thinking he broke a bone.

“i’m cool now though.” you shrug, easily dismissing the dejection and whatever that upset you before.

the rope comes undone and yoongi shimmies himself out. but before you can do anything, his hand shoots out, wrapping around your wrist and pulling you down until your knee digs into the mattress in between his legs, your faces too close. if he’d just tilt his head, his lips would easily brush yours.

“yoongi,” you warn but he shushes you.

“try getting the rope to move with magic,” he instructs, voice uncharacteristically soft and soothing.

you take a deep breath, eyes trained on the rope lying around him whilst trying to ignore the millimeter distance between your faces.

you move your index finger and the rope lifts itself up. you motion to the left with your finger and the rope gradually slithers through the air in the direction you’re pointing.

“it’s working,” you almost squeal, beaming.

and in your excitement, you seek yoongi’s gaze, only to see the rope crashing against the ground in your periphery.

“good,” a smile plays on his lips.

all of a sudden, you’re out of breath, the perpetrator also being the cause of the rush of blood to your face.

thanks.

the words doesn’t really get passed your lips because his feel feather-light but his fingertips on your cheek is calloused but grounding. that’s how you know this isn’t just some dream.

then he pulls all of you down. the sudden shift of motion illicit a gasp out of you. but the shock stricken state is short lived. you find yourself breathing in his musky woody scent.

he leans down, kissing the delicate spot on your neck that makes your heart wretch inside your chest.

“yoongi, maybe we should take it slow and practice some other time?” you suggest and he chuckles, the sound ringing in your ear like a blissful melody.

“i’m not doing this for a practice run,” he confesses ever so casually, “i took on the form of a cat because you told me about the one you have back home. but you got too familiar with it that you forgot about me.”

he licks your flesh like a cat would. it’s supposed to be an innocent, cat-like gesture but something about the way his male body is hovering over you makes the fibers in your system go on panic mode. you wish the bed would open up and swallow you whole but you’re not powerful enough for that.

yet.

“i’m upset,” he sulkily says and sinks his teeth into your skin.

x

the fading redness on his left cheek where you first slap him is rosier than ever after your third slap landing on that one.

“when are you gonna let me go?” his voice echoes in the silence.

you turn around to see the man sitting cross-legged on your bed with his hands on his sides, the rope tightly wrapped around him. after he bit you, the rope ended shooting up and around him, as if it had a mind of its own and sought to protect you by disabling your neck-biting familiar.

oh, you sport similar hickey on the other side of your neck now too.

“hmm,” you tilt your head in contemplation, “after my last exam?”

“that’s like, in a week,” he grunts, “how am i gonna bathe? and eat?”

“you have two heads, yoongi. figure it out.” you shrug and turn back to your books and ipad.

x

note. this was requested by an anonymous as part of my drabble game.

[thewalkingfanfictions]

I’m Not Gay -- Sam Winchester x Male!reader (part two)

I'm Not Gay — Sam Winchester x male!hunter!reader

Part One / Part Two

Description: Forced out of his motel room by his sister when she and a stranger burst through the door playing tongue wars, (Name) decides to go for walk, where he runs into Sam, tall, handsome, smart, and no, (Name) definitely doesn’t like guys, I don’t know what you’re talking about.

Warning: Some internalized homophobia, references to sex, and some cussing. Supernatural-themed gore and violence (they fight vampires)

Genre: Fluff, I guess? A bit of angst in there somewhere probably, too, since I have no self control. Can “dat gay shit” be a genre?

Pairing: Sam Winchester x Male!Reader

A/N: I hate this. So fucking much. I am, however, willing to write a part three with somma dat gay smut, if y’all want. I won't do it if no one says anything, though, so someone better comment. This is a threat.

Words without A/N: 2342

Masterlist

<—————————————>

The two of us crept through the old, neglected house. It was big, two stories with several rooms on each floor, and crawling with vamps.

Looking at Lidia over my shoulder, she motioned that she was going to go north, and waved me the other direction. Taking off as silently as I could, it wasn't long until I ran into the first group. How they hadn't noticed me yet, I guess we'll never know.

Creeping closer, I got within a few feet before the group of three tensed up and turned towards where I stood. Baring their teeth, two of them launched while the third took off through a doorway. Coward.

Dispatching them was easy enough, and I was quickly on to another room, leaving a stack of bodiless heads behind me. The next rooms were much of the same: alternating between empty bedrooms, to ones with two or three vamps chilling together, the job was simple enough. It wasn't until the very last room on my side of the building that I ran into trouble.

Seven, all together, and they already knew I was there. The one from the first room who had run when I showed up was standing beside them.

Fourteen bloodthirsty eyes glaring down at me, they slowly began surrounding where I stood. My heart beat in my ears, and I strengthened my hold on my machete, trying to form a plan. I should work on the big ones first, as they could pose a larger threat--but I should really save the bigger ones for after, so I can focus more of my energy on them--but at the same time, the smaller four could be more trouble than the big ones, they are more, and they are probably faster--or I could just focus on whoever came at me first--but what if they all launch at the same time? Am I really overthinking this right now?

Fuck it.

One of the smaller ones came forward to glare at me, sharp, disgusting teeth on display as she inched ever closer. As she got within reaching distance, she opened her mouth to say something--only to be cut off by my blade disconnecting her head from the rest of her. Her body fell to the floor like a...well, like a body, and all was silent for a moment, before the rest of them launched. Slicing and dodging and trying not to die was becoming increasingly more difficult as all six of the rest fought for a piece of me. I felt the side of my face light with a sting as one of them struck out and hit me, just before my blade cut through their flesh, hands grabbed me from behind, and I swung back as hard as I could, listening to the "shlingt" of the blade cutting through its neck. Before I could move to swing again, another body was grabbing me from behind and pulling me back, turing in their grip to swing again, my wrist was caught in their fist, making me look up at my opponents face.

Familiar, smokey-honey eyes surrounded by locks of fluffy brown hair graced my vision, and my breath caught in my throat at being so close to that perfect face.

"Sam?"

He pushed me behind him and went to work on a vamp that was right behind me, hacking its head off before turning to me with a bashful smile.

"Heh, uh, hey? Fancy seeing you here," a cheeky smile lit up his face as he turned back to the fight. My heart did an odd little "per-thump" as I gazed at his muscled body (now clad in a red and white flannel that did wonders for his shoulders (not that I would, uh, notice that.)) Shaking those very-not-me thoughts out of my head, I launched back into the fight beside him.

I knew there was something familiar about his room.

It wasn't long till we had dispatched all but one. The thing launched at Sam, who had at some point in the battle lost his own machete. He dodged gracefully around the vampires outstretched claws, and managed to get ahold of him from behind, holding the beasts arms behind its back and looking up at me. Well would you look at that. It was the same asshole who'd run away before and warned the others.

"(Name)!"

Wasting absolutely no time, I stepped forward and beheaded the thing, splattering blood onto Sam's face in the process. Good riddance.

Dropping the blood suckers body to the ground, Sam stepped over it, and walked towards me without so much as a second glance at the thing. A worried look came over his face as he moved closer, and his hand reached out to trace a thumb over the side of my face. Hissing, I couldn't help but flinch back at the sudden pain that erupted under his fingertips. My own hand flew to my face on reflex, coming away sticky with blood.

Apparently the thing that punched me earlier got me a bit more than I'd realized.

"You're hurt. We should get back and clean you up before you get infected, you might've gotten vamp blood in it."

His hand carefully traced over it again, this time taking care not to hurt me, and his eyes shone with his concern for me. It was kind of sweet, actually. We only met, like, less than twenty four hours ago.

"I knew there was something familiar about you," I mumbled, gazing up into his eyes, which silently questioned me in return. "Your room. The pre-packed bags, and the half-drank coffee next to the pile of papers and the laptop. It looked a painful lot like what my room usually looks like before a hunt," I smiled.

He grinned back at me, gaze dropping a bit lower than my eyes for a half a moment before darting back up. Licking his bottom lip, (an action I definitely didn't gawk at) he opened his mouth to speak, only to be interrupted by someone loudly clearing their throat.

We both flinched away from each other, and it was only then that I realized just how close we had been standing, and that his hand had still been rested gently against the side of my bleeding face. Turning quickly towards the interruption, I locked eyes with my sister, who stood beside the larger figure of her bedmate from the night before, both smirking and gazing at us knowingly. I felt an ugly blush crawling its way towards my ears.

"Uh-uh-I-uhm-hey--hi-ah-uhm--" Sam stumbled from a few paces away from me, looking far more like a human-lobster hybrid than he had a moment before.

An ugly snort came out of my sister at that, and her smirk only grew as she looked between the two of us, looking like she was trying to refrain from saying something that I would most definitely punch her for. I wonder how hard it would be to dig a grave her height by myself.

"Shut up."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The ride back to the hotel was literal hell.

Lidia waited exactly six seconds (I counted) after we were both safely in the car and following the brothers' Impala down the road before she started interrogating me, that stupid smile still clinging to her face.

I've never wanted to punch her more.

I didn't know my face was capable of turning that red.

I was out of the car practically before it had even stopped rolling, and back in the hotel room before anybody else had even gotten out of their rigs. I could feel eyes on me the entire time, and hear my sisters uncontrolled laughter even through the closed car doors. I made sure I was already in the shower before she could get up to the room to bother me any more.

The water was nice, one of the best I'd had in a hotel, actually, and that is definitely the only reason I was in there for as long as I was. Yup. The only reason. It had nothing to do with avoiding my womb mate, and absolutely nothing to do with the thoughts going through my head about a certain 6-foot-something brunette.

After a good solid hour of wasting hot water, I finally decided it was probably time to get out. I'm sure Lidia wants to wash off too. Good luck with the few drops of hot water that I left you, punk. Drying off my hair and pulling on the baggy sweats and a tee-shirt that was way too big on me that I had thankfully remembered to grab from my bag before I rushed in here, I opened the door enough to peek out.

Of course, because it's only my luck, I got a nice side view of Dean with his tongue down my sisters throat.

Apparently they heard my exaggerated gagging sounds, because they split off and looked towards the bathroom door, eyes lust-drunk and lips red and swollen. Gross.

"Oh, don't act like you're not jealous, (nickname)," Lidia chided sassily, before rolling her eyes dramatically. "If you were in there any longer, we woulda started fucking, instead of being the polite person that I am and waiting for you to leave first."

I cringed at the thought of having to see that again, and flipped her off, before grabbing up a book and heading for the door as quickly as I could, listening to the two of them chuckling at me as I went.

“Loser.”

“Punk.”

"Your boyfriends waiting for you over in our room again, (name)!" I heard Dean say just before the two of them erupted into aggressive kissy noises, "(Name) and Sa'am, sitting in a tre--" the door slammed closed behind me.

Children. They are both complete children.

I found myself standing in front of the brothers door without even realizing I'd started walking yet, and I was knocking before I had the chance to try and compose myself. Fuck you, muscle memory.

The door opened before I'd even finished knocking, like Sam had just been sitting on the other side and waiting for someone to get there. His face flushed as we locked eyes, and I think he realized how it came across, too. I smiled at his cute ass dimples before my eyes dropped to take in the rest of him. Grey sweatpants that hung low on his hips (I'm not drooling, you are) and a plain white tee that had to be a good two sizes too small (holy mother of pecs). I probably stood there for a solid minute before realizing that it was really kinda weird for a totally heterosexual man to be staring like I was, and promptly looked away, clearing my throat and blushing stupidly once again.

His earthy chuckle was enough to break me out of my stupidity.

"Uh, so, uhm, uh--" I cleared my throat again, trying to reel my mind back into my body and refusing to look at him "Our siblings were dangerously close to fucking again and I really didn't wanna have to see that again, and I was kinda hoping I could hang out with you like last night but I totally get if you say no and I'lljustgofindsomewhereelsetogoI'msorryI'llleave--" I was half way through turning away when I felt him grab ahold of my arm, and pull me back towards him, his laugh cutting through the aggressive amount of self-loathing that was rushing through my system at the moment.

"Its okay, please don't go, Dean said to expect you over while he was there."

I paused for a second and stared at him, dumbfounded. He's a fucking angel.

Blushing stupidly, I nodded and followed behind him as he turned and swept his arm as an invitation to follow him inside. I stepped through the doorway, very aware that his hand still rested on my arm, and moved to sit on the bed when he pointed to it.

"Your face is still kinda busted up, I've got a first aid kit in here somewhere, let me help you," I was opening my mouth to protest when he turned and gave me a playful glare, like he already knew what I was going to say.

Soon enough, he was kneeling in front of me, one large hand resting on my shoulder while the other tilted my head to look at the cuts and the forming bruise. I couldn't look away from his kaleidoscope eyes.

Smearing some cold cream on my face (which I assumed was Neosporin, that's what it smelled like, anyway) I flinched slightly, which made him move both hands up to my head to hold me in place. Letting go for a split second, he reached for a bandage and moved back to cupping my face, and gently laid it over the split in my cheek. Being this close to him, smelling his freshly washed leather-and-old-book scent, I was practically drooling. It took far more restraint than it should have to not lean into the weirdly-soft hand that was cradling my cheek so gently.

Soon enough, he was done patching up my cheek, and looked up from his work. When our eyes connected, it was very much like the first time they had last night. I never wanted to look away. I don't exactly know when we started leaning in, but at some point we had. My eyes closed of their own accord, just a fraction of a second before his peachy lips were on mine. It was really just a peck, and far too soon he was pulling away from me, looking nervous. Before he had the chance to ruin the moment, or I had the chance to chicken out, I reached up and grabbed a handful of his shirt, and pulled him right back to me.

One of my hands found its way into his hair, the other still clinging to his shirt, terrified of him disappearing from my grasp. His hips found their way between my knees, where I still sat on the edge of the bed, pulling my body closer by the small of my back. By the time the both of us were too out of breath to continue, and he had to pull away, I was already far too lost to his hands.

Okay, so...Maybe I am a little bit gay.

                                                          fin

[kitkatopinions]

Okay! So like, I made this post earlier about how much I liked rules in my media, and how that made RWBY hard because the show is messy as hell and all over the place with very little consistency? And how a big part of that was how ill-defined and retconned and weirdly done their magic is? WELL THEY DID IT AGAIN AHGAHSHKSKW

I’ve reblogged posts about Penny acquiring a flesh body being a problematic choice that hurt or affected real world people before, so I’m not going to get into whether or not it was a good choice to make Penny a flesh person here. Instead let’s talk about how they did it, let’s talk about Ambrosius!

So Ambrosius has rules. He needs exact schematics to make a requested creation, he can’t kill, and he can’t have more than one thing created at a time, I.E. He can’t create a body for Penny and keep Atlas afloat at the same time. The protagonists find a ‘loophole’ where they use Penny’s exact robot parts to construct Penny as she is in her metal body with the virus who then dies, but they separate Penny’s aura - her soul - from her body to do it, leaving ‘the girl underneath.’ Ambrosius complies with this, and when Penny’s aura is separated from Penny’s body, it becomes a flesh body, and that flesh body can’t be killed by an action Ambrosius takes. Therefore when they ask him to create something new, Penny remains alive in her flesh body without it being destroyed when he complies and makes the portals because Ambrosius can’t kill.

Here are two possible explanations for why Penny acquired a flesh body that feel plausible that I’ve seen and they both are bad in my opinion.

Explanation number one: Penny’s soul somehow generated her own flesh and bone, corporeal body exactly as Penny wanted it. This is obviously messy as heck because it comes totally out of nowhere, we’re never told that souls can even sort of do that, and so it feels like just as much of a ‘for convenience’ random thing the writers decided to do to meet their desired goal as Ren’s semblance suddenly evolving. Yes, technically everything a writer decides to do with their story is to try and reach their goal, but if it’s done too sloppily, too out of nowhere, and is used only sporadically, you can see the hand of the creator, which makes for a less compelling or convincing story. RWBY’s magic systems are so ‘hand of the creator’ and this - if it is the right explanation - would just be a much more obvious version of that. This also opens up the floodgates to other questions like ‘why didn’t Oz think of that’ and ‘could that work on Maidens’ and ‘where did the flesh come from’ and ‘why is everyone sure this is what will happen’ and ‘why is this exactly what happened?’

Explanation number two (and the one that I think is most likely what the writers intended:) Ambrosius constructed Penny a new body himself of his own volition to prevent himself from breaking the rule about not killing. A. Like above, this explanation generates a lot of questions and you can still see the hand of the creator (all of this was invented in the same season Penny got the virus and these explanations only came up in the same episode they solved them, making any ‘victory’ feel totally unearned.) However, this explanation is also the worst because Ambrosius CANNOT BREAK THE RULES. The entire plan banks on him having to jump through hoops because he can’t break the rules and have Penny die, so... He can’t break the rules in order to avoid breaking the rules either! That’s just logical! He can’t kill - because it’d break the rules - but therefore he can’t have two creations at once or it’d break the rules, and he can’t make anything himself without a schematic or it would break the rules. Penny’s flesh body breaks two rules to avoid breaking one! This is... Oh my gosh. XD It’s a headache. Why would the only option for Ambrosius be creating a new flesh body for Penny rather than leaving her soul bodiless or transferring her soul into a shared meat-body like Oz or putting her soul in a different machine??? Why would this loophole force him to break the rules when the only reason he would have to is to avoid breaking the rules???? He can’t make one thing and then have that thing continue on existing when he makes a new thing! But he can’t kill Penny’s soul! SOOOOOO??? HE SHOULD DO NEITHER????? THERE ARE OTHER THINGS HE COULD DO?????? WHAT IS THIS CHOICE???

Here’s the thing. This was a bad choice. And I don’t just mean ‘this was a bad choice’ in terms of Penny’s personhood, what this means for that, so on and so forth. But from a storytellers perspective this left a lot of people really confused. In a moment meant to be emotional, people shouldn’t be scratching their heads and going ‘wait, what?’ People shouldn’t have to go online and go ‘okay, who has a possible explanation for this tomfoolery this time.’ What’s really dumb is that even while I tried to figure out what the f happened here with Ambrosius and Penny, I was thinking “this is just more magic nonsense that makes no sense, there isn’t going to be an explanation that has no glaring problem” because I’ve done this with RWBY a lot. But oh my gosh, this was worse in my opinion than the aura problems or the major semblance problems. Because guys... They gave us rules! They gave us firm, concise, clear limitations that they had to work under AND THEN IT WAS GONE! THEY THREW IT OUT! THEY BROKE THE RULES AS SOON AS THEY TOLD US THOSE RULES EXISTED! Ahhhhhhhhhhhggfeuufefq. What are they doing??? I don’t understand how this got past the writer’s room with no one going ‘wait, so he avoids breaking the rules, by breaking the rules? How is that going to work?’

[ambiguousdisorderken]

oh gendernatural night? about a billion years ago when i was *checks watch* about 13-14 years old and i was watching spn for the first time, i was So Attached to dean winchester, i projected on him insanely hard. and i always thought to myself, "i wish i was a man like dean so i could love other men," and like. it took me about half a year to figure out that was me transing my gender for the first time. i had told my mother i wanted to cut my hair like his, partially bc i thought if i framed my desire for short hair to be based off of a fictional character, she would think it was embarrassing but wouldn't outright forbid it. it's literally so cringe to admit dean winchester made me realize i was trans but. that's what anon is for! anyways i hope you have a good night 💚

dean winchester and the magic of jender~

it's a bit cringey, yeah, but i'm kinda on the same boat. in my case i just started wearing plaid and listening to dean's music, but i was much more attached to cas, and, just like him, i was very alienated from many things. oblivious to basic human stuff tbh.

//edit addition: yes! about the loving men thing. for me it's because back then everything i associated with love (ship wise) was m/m, so my brain's path was also "i wish i was a guy so i could love other men". as a girl it's socially acceptable and encouraged to like men, but i wanted to love men in that way.

anyway, i had this super close relationship with a fellow heller back then, we texted all the time and we discussed me going over to her place, her parents paying for my plane ticket and everything. christ. we even mentioned marriage so i could stay in the us with her and we could live together once we were in uni.... i mean... she's grown out of spn so i hope she never reads this, but yes. and i was like 'pffff that's just online besties' but a couple years later i told my then boyfriend about this friendship and he just told me 'it's like you're talking about an ex' and my god was he right.

also for most of my life, i was fine with being a cis girl, but i never ever have felt comfortable with calling myself a woman, because in my head i'm not woman enough, whatever that means. due to kinda unrelated ish physiological factors, i wished so bad i was a guy for like 3 years, but then again what i wanted the most was being bodiless. and then there's how i've always been "one of the guys", like i'm always the friend guys talk about other girls/stuff with. so i don't know what sort of vibes i give off🤷🏻‍���️ 17year old me would say 'im a leaf swaying in the wind', cheesy af, but true.

just last month i got a bob haircut and my mom was sooo against it lol. i seriously need to figure myself out because 1)im old enough to have my own place but im unemployed and JUST started my 2nd career so.. no prospects 2)if i want to live genuinely and openly i most certainly won't be able to do it under this roof

[anti-the-glitch-bitch]

Open Flames

Chapter 2

Word count: 4,311

“Aww, that’s so cute, but no. You’re going to stay here like a good little nightclub owner.” Tony stood outside the plane, arguing with Lucifer. They had been doing this since the three of them had arrived at the airport. Neither one would back down from the other, and it would have been highly amusing if Azar wasn’t worrying herself to death about meeting Tony’s teammates. Did they know about her past? What if they hated her?

Azar watched from her seat as Lucifer gave Tony an offended, hurt look. It changed into one of flirtation and seduction, and soon enough, Tony was letting him onto the plane with a dazed and confused look on his face. She chuckled when Tony sat in the seat next to her with a pouty expression on his face. “Hmm. I see Lucifer will be joining us this evening. I wonder what could have changed?”

“Say anything to the others, and I’ll have Lucifer demonstrate his abilities on you.” Tony glares at me as one of his flight attendants brings him a drink. Thank god for having a rich friend; it certainly made travel much more comfortable.

He takes a sip from his glass and avoids the stare coming from the man sitting across from him. Lucifer grins as he looks at Azar and Tony, who are still avoiding his gaze. “I do believe this will be a rather exquisite trip. Such an exciting event to meet the Avengers. Is Thor around? I haven’t seen him or his brother since that Asgardian party about 200 years ago.” Lucifer put his glass down and clapped his hands together. He looked like an enthusiastic child about to see his favorite classmates after a long summer break.

Azar was taking a drink when Lucifer dropped this small bit of news, causing her to choke on her drink in surprise. Tony thumped her back, trying to help her out but seemed just as shocked. Lucifer seemed a bit concerned that Azar was choking but could not figure out why both of them were so surprised.

“You Know Thor? Why didn’t he say anything to us? When did you meet? How often do you party with them?”

“You’ve been to Asgard? How hot is Loki? Is he as hot in real life? How crazy is he? Does Thor fall in the Jock category? He seems like a jock.”

Lucifer held his hands up at the bombardment of questions coming from both of them. Azar and Tony both talking over each other in their excitement to get more information. Tony’s questions are laced with a bit of skepticism, considering that the person shelling out this new information considered himself the Devil. Azar, more eager to hear about Loki than the blonde-haired Avenger.

“One at a time, please. I’ll answer all your questions. Yes, I’ve known Thor for quite some time. I met him and his brother around the era of Vikings. Quite a lovely bunch, those Asgardians. Really know how to throw a party.” Lucifer continued to answer questions the entire flight. It made the time pass relatively quickly and gave both Tony and Azar insightful knowledge into their companion.

Before she knew it, the plane had landed, and she was gathering her items. Lucifer and Tony didn’t have any luggage but were kind enough to help Azar with hers. Azar was overjoyed when she saw that it was Happy leaning against Tony’s car, waiting for them to show up. Happy stood up and straightened his suit when he saw the three of them coming towards him.

Azar ran for him and gave him an enthusiastic hug. “Happy! Man, have I missed you. You missed a great moment.” She started laughing when Tony gave her a sharp look.

“Azariah, keeping out of trouble, I hope? It hasn’t been the same since you left. Tony keeps moping around the place, complaining about how you abandoned him. Maybe now that you’re back, Pepper won’t have to kick him out every night.” Happy returns the hug, chuckling, before opening the door to the car.

“Uh, excuse me. I was not moping. I openly disagreed with her life’s decision, and Pepper can’t kick me out of my own house. It’s my house. That would defeat the purpose of me having one.” Azar rolls her eyes as Tony gets in the luxury car.

“Well, I’m not sure if he told you, but I’ll be staying here for who knows how long. We’ll have to catch up some time. I need to know if there is some lucky lady that has caught the attention of my friend here.” Tony snorts from inside the car but, surprisingly, doesn’t say anything else.

Happy leans down to see into the car with an offended look on his face. “I’ll have you know that I can get a girl. Maybe not as easy as you, but I can still get one.”

“Don’t let him get to you, Happy. He keeps it up, and I’m going to set his suit on fire.” Azar pats Happy on the back when a throat clears from behind her. “Oh, right, sorry. Happy, this is Lucifer. Lucifer, this is Happy. He's coming with us to meet everyone.”

Lucifer sauntered over with his usual charming grin. “Hello there. Nice to meet you.”

Happy stutters for a moment before leaning into Azar and whispering, “Are you sure this guys' alright? There’s just something about this guy that I don’t like.”

Before she can respond, Lucifer is butting in with a scowl on his face. “Yes, well, I blame Dear Old Dad for that. Blaming me for everyth-“

“Yeah yeah, we get it. It’s all your dad’s fault you’re stuck like this. Get in the back and get over it.” Azar rolls her eyes and moves so the tall devil can get inside. She shuts the door on him just as he opens his mouth to say something else. “Don’t ask, Happy. Let’s just go so I can get settled in and meet the team.”

Happy walks to the other side of the car with a short laugh, and they both get in. Once they are buckled in, he starts the car and takes off. Azar is looking out the window when she feels a hand on her shoulders and a mouth by her ear.

“I do like a woman in charge. Perhaps later, we can see just how in charge you can get.“ Sexual energy seemed to ooze from Lucifer’s words, and the tension in the car rose.

“As much fun as it is to see you get Red all flustered, I’d prefer if she didn’t set the car on fire with us inside.” Tony pulled Lucifer back into his seat, and they stared each other down with a battle of wills.

“Oh, I’d much rather see you flustered, Tony. I’d prefer to see you naked in my bed, but I’ll settle for flustered.” As Lucifer turned his full attention on the cocky man, the look on Tony’s face was a beautiful sight to see. He wasn’t prepared for Lucifer to switch his full attention from person to person, which left him slightly speechless. Tony started clearing his throat and loosening his tie when Lucifer put his arm on the back of Tony’s seat and whispered in his ear.

Happy glanced at Azar with confusion, but she shook her head, trying her best not to laugh. It was funny seeing the tables turned on her friend, and she was going to enjoy every minute of it.

Tony was squirming in his seat now, blushing slightly. Lucifer had the biggest grin on and was enjoying every minute of this.

“Pull over! I, ah, just remembered I have to go and, uh, do something for Pepper really quick. She, yeah, Pepper. My assistant.” Tony looked ready to jump out of his skin, and his cheeks were bright red. He looked like he was prepared to jump out of the car.

“Tony, we’re only 10 minutes away.” Happy was pulling over even as he said this. Probably used to the erratic behavior of the billionaire.

Tony didn’t bother with a response; he just jumped out of the car the moment it stopped. Tapping the reactor on his chest caused his suit to spring to life and envelop him. Before his face mask lowered, he bent over, “You couldn’t handle this,” his face mask shut, and he was off.

Azar was bent over in her seat, laughing hysterically. Lucifer shut the door and had a cat ate the canary look, very content with himself. “Oh, I like this one. Azariah, you naughty girl, why didn’t you tell me you had such fun friends?” Azar was laughing too hard to be able to answer. She was still chuckling to herself when they finally pulled up to the Avengers’ Headquarters.

Azar got out of the car and stood gawking at the giant building in front of her. It was even more impressive than Tony’s original building. Lucifer stood beside her and looked at the facility for a moment before huffing, very unimpressed with it all. “Yes, yes. The building is big. Can we go inside now? I could go for a drink, and I would love to catch up with Thor.”

She shook her and grabbed a bag as Happy and Lucifer grabbed the rest. The moment they walked into the building, a male voice greeted them, seemingly coming from nowhere and everywhere. “Welcome back, Ms. Azariah. As always, it is a pleasure when you visit.” The voice held genuine emotion yet, at the same time, felt distant.

The addressed woman seemed to light up. Her face brightening at the greeting, though she didn’t bother to look around for the bodiless voice. “Jarvis! I missed you, pal. Still giving Tony hell?”

“Of course, Ms. He has started to ignore me more often than not, so it’s like informing a smart brick wall.” Azar had to laugh at that. It sounded like the relationship between Tony and his AI hadn’t changed a bit. “Mr. Stark has notified me that you will be staying here for some time. Shall I inform you where you will be staying?”

“Uh, Tony said something about setting me up between Legolas and Point Break? I’m not entirely sure who those are supposed to be.” Tony was always coming up with nicknames for people, but he still failed to explain who the nicknames were for or why he had picked that particular nickname.

Happy walked in front of Azar and nodded his head towards the stairs, his hands full with her bags. “I’ll take it from here, Jarvis.” He started walking towards the stairs knowing that Azar would follow.

“Very well, Sir.” Jarvis didn’t say another word after that. Though, if she needed something, Azar knew that Jarvis was always ready to help any way it could.

Azar looked at Lucifer, who had been observing this interaction with curiosity, simply held out his hand, gesturing that she go first. As she followed Happy, she looked around the new building, curious about the differences between Tony’s two buildings. This one seemed to be more practical and filled with things that might suit each team member’s needs. They passed several shut doors down a long hallway before stopping in front of one with her name on it.

Azar opened the door and gawked as she walked inside. It looked as though Tony had been planning this for some time. Her room was styled in shades of black, red, and orange. Her bed was huge and had a pitch-black comforter with stars and the moon. Different bands adorned the walls, all ones she liked. The room had been made specifically for her, and it made her tear up.

“When did he do this?” Azar asked Happy as he put her bags on the bed.

“He has a room set up for you in all his homes. Just in case you ever need somewhere to crash.” Happy glanced around the room briefly, and Azar could just tell he was not fond of the style. He was just too nice to say anything about it.

“Jarvis, is Tony around anywhere?” She had to thank him. It may not mean much to him, but this meant the world to her.

“I’m sorry, but Mr. Stark is currently away at the moment. Shall I call him for you?”

“No, it’s ok. Tell him to stop being a chicken shit and get back here before I tell everyone why he ran away.” That should get him to hightail it back.

“Of course. Is there anything else I can do for you?”

“That’s it. Thanks, Jarvis.”

Azar observes Lucifer as he walks around the room, checking everything out before turning to Happy. “I’m going to take a nap since I worked last night. Is there an extra room that Lucifer can have?”

“Tony didn’t say anything about this guy staying.” Happy gives Lucifer such a distrustful glare that it was almost comical. He did not want the tall mischievous devil staying here, probably because of what happened in the car.

She laughed and gave him a reassuring smile. “Just a change of plans is all. Seriously, it’s alright. It’s not like he can do much damage with everyone that stays here. Besides, Thor can vouch for him.”

“Yeah, well, I’m keeping an eye on you. I don’t trust you no matter who vouches for you.” Happy points at his eyes and then at Lucifer. Lucifer walks towards the shorter man and smiles, holding his hands out slightly to the side. “Oh, you can keep more than your eyes on me.” That was not the reaction Happy expected, and he widened his eye.

“Lucifer, play nice. At least wait until I get up from my nap before trying to seduce anything that walks on two legs.” She knew she couldn’t curtail his behavior entirely, but she could try and make him wait until she could play referee. Who knows how the others would react to him.

Lucifer stopped and sighed as though this was a massive inconvenience to him. “Well, that’s just plain boring. What am I supposed to do here then?” He threw his hands up in the air.

Azar started pulling out some clothes from her bag and laying them on the bed. “If Thor is around, then you can hang out with him. I’m sure he would love that. You could explore the rest of the place. I’m sure you can find something to do that doesn’t require getting naked. Don’t forget that it was your idea to come along, not the other way around. Don’t get pissy just because this isn’t your playground. Things work differently around here. All you have to do is wait until I get up, and then we can find something to do.”

“I can think of a few things we-,“ Azar jumped at Lucifer, putting her hand against his mouth before he could finish that sentence.

“Don’t even think about it. Now follow Happy like a good boy and behave.” She started pushing both Happy and Lucifer out the door before either one could say something else. Both turned around to open their mouth, only for the door to be shut on them.

Azar sighed in relief and rubbed her eyes. She was exhausted from everything that had happened and couldn’t wait to get some sleep. Changing out of the clothes that Lucifer had given her and into something more comfortable was great. Sliding into the King-sized bed was even better. Before she fell asleep, she told Jarvis to wake her in a few hours or if Lucifer caused any problems. With that done, she immediately fell asleep.

Screams surround her as a fire rages through the house. Smoke fills her lungs, making her cough. She hears her mother scream her name. Turning towards the screams, she sees a wall of fire separating her from her parents. Her dad pushes her mother away, presumably telling her to get out of the house. The more afraid she gets, the more vicious the fire burns until its roar blocks out all other sounds.

The young teen scrambles around her room, looking for anything hard enough to break the window leading outside, the locks having melted from the flames. “Honey, use the bat!” Her father yelled at her from behind the wall of flames. She runs to pick up the wooden bat and hears a crash come from somewhere in the house, her panic driving her to move even faster.

Her vision blurred, and her lungs filled with smoke; she used all her strength and swung at the window, causing the glass to shatter outward. The flames roar hungrily at the fresh air and greedily take it in, becoming yet more ferocious. After knocking out the rest of the glass, she turns to her bed and starts pulling off everything so that she can put it over the doorway in the hopes of creating a hole for her dad to get through, her father screaming at her to get out the entire time.

She almost makes it when the beams start creaking, and then part of the ceiling collapses, burying her father in wood, flames, and smoke. Her screams could be heard from miles away as she cried for her father to get up. Tears would have fallen down the teens’ faces if it hadn’t been for the heat, causing them to evaporate instantly.

She fell to her knees and screamed for him until her throat was raw, in such focused grief that she never heard the sirens or the firemen busting through her window. She struggled against them as they dragged her out the window to others waiting on the other side; her arms still outreached for her father.

“Azariah! Wake up!”

She coughed as the firemen dragged her to the ambulance, and the EMTs started checking her over.

“AZARIAH, YOU HAVE TO WAKE UP!” That voice broke her free from the spell of the nightmare. Tony was standing over her, shaking her awake. She shot up, adrenaline and despair running through her veins, making her heart race. The smell of something burning and the whoosh of a fire extinguisher forced her to look over and see a short-haired redhead woman trying to put out flames that licked at the walls and other furniture with ferocious tenacity. Trying to help her was a man about the redhead’s height. He didn’t have a fire extinguisher but had a bucket of water that he was throwing on the desk in the far corner.

“Hey, Firestarter. Can you do something about the fire currently burning the place to the ground?” Tony snapped his fingers, getting Azariah’s attention. Her pulse is still racing, and her brain panicking from the nightmare, she throws her arm out automatically and calls what flames are left to her. The fire flies to her hand and nestles her palm like a long-lost child finding its way home. Clenching her fist, she snuffs the fire out.

The man stares at the redhead for a moment with a raised eyebrow and then turns back to Azar. “I’d say that’s terrifying, but I’ve met a guy that can wield lightning. This is like a regular Tuesday for us.” The redhead gives him a glare and a shake of her head as if to say, not now.

Azar’s breathing is shallow and rapid as her brain continues to throw out horrible what-if scenarios. Her eyes were assessing the damage that had happened because of her. “Hey kid, don’t worry about it. There’s nothing in here that can’t be-“ He placed his hand on her shoulder, causing her to withdraw from his touch and lunge out of the other side of the bed.

“NO!” The walls started to close in on her as she had a full-on panic attack, “Don’t touch me. I can’t... I can’t breathe. I…I… go have to…out.” She started running past everyone, trying to remember how she had come in, and wholly ignored Tony worriedly calling for her.

She takes off down the hallway, her hair flowing behind her with flames flickering in between the strands. Her bare feet were leaving scorched marks on the wooden floor. It seems to take forever to find the exit, and she doesn’t hesitate to throw the doors open and rush outside, not taking notice of the people she frightened. She continues to run until she can no longer get enough oxygen to keep up the pace and falls to her knees, gasping for air. Sparks fly off her singeing the surrounding area.

Azar is slowly regaining her breath when she hears the crunching of grass behind her. “That’s not how I wanted to introduce you to the team, but I guess that will work.” Tony walks over to her, careful to avoid the still sparking woman. “Think you can put out the fire so we can talk?”

She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath, trying to calm herself enough to have a semblance of control over her power. The flames die down and eventually stop altogether. “This was a bad idea, Tony. I could have seriously hurt someone. I shouldn’t be here.” Azar keeps her head down, avoiding Tony’s gaze.

“Actually, you’re in the perfect place. I’ve got precautions in place in case your little fires get out of control. Can you say the same for where you’re living now?” Tony’s complacency about the incident irks her, making her stand up to look him in the eyes.

“I live ALONE! For this exact reason! You’re willing to risk people’s lives for what? So, you can have a freak on your team!? I couldn’t live with the guilt if I hurt someone because I couldn’t control this... this curse!” Azar screams at Tony, her fists clenched tightly. She wanted to punch him in his smug face so bad that it hurt to restrain herself.

He watched her for a moment before snapping his fingers. “What you need is a way to let loose. You can’t keep this part of you locked away forever. It’s a part of who you are and will never go away, no matter how hard you try to wish it away. I didn’t ask you to come here just so you could be part of the team. I wanted you here so you can learn how to control your abilities, and I know exactly how we’re going to do that.” He immediately started walking off, not even bothering to see if Azar would follow.

“Wait? What?” Tony had walked away so quickly and abruptly that Azar was left staring after him in confusion. The way he brushed off her anger and statements left her dazed. Now, she was just trying to keep up with his train of thought.

“What are you up to now, Tony?” Azar rushes to catch up to him, ignoring the looks that various staff is giving them. Tony had a look to him that she didn’t trust at all. She had seen that look, and it never seemed to bode well for her.

Tony’s aura oozed confidence and purpose as he strode back to the compound. “First, I’m going to see if Banner can figure out a way to make a fireproof suit for you. Otherwise, all your clothes are going to burn up, not just the ones you’re wearing.” That comment had her looking at the clothes she had on.

They had small holes in various places that were blackened around the edges. It made her sigh in resignation because he was right. Whatever Tony had planned would probably have her going through clothes like crazy. Not something she could afford now that she no longer had a job.

“Okay, so what else you got planned in that scheming brain of yours?”

“That is for me to know and you to find out. Why don’t you get changed while I round up the posse?” He pushes the doors to the building open and starts to walk away.

“Oh, have you seen Lucifer anywhere? If he isn’t supervised, he tends to get himself into trouble.” Tony rolled his eyes so hard that Azar was a little worried they might roll out of the sockets.

“Your illustrious friend left while you were napping, claiming this place held a serious lack of excitement, and left. He did say he would be back in a few hours.” Yeah, that sounded precisely like Lucifer. She was almost afraid to know what kind of excitement he was delving into.

“I’ll give him a shout and let him know I’m awake. He’d be upset if he missed meeting everyone.” He really would. Knowing him, he would complain and pout for days until something distracted him again. Azar didn’t want to deal with that. They parted ways, with Tony telling her to come to the common area when she was done.

Before she changed, she sent her ex-boss a quick text letting him know what was happening. After a 30 minute shower and a change of clothes, there was still no reply from Lucifer, so she had no way of knowing if he saw the message or not. Well, it wasn’t her fault if he wasn’t here.

With the help of Jarvis, she managed to find the common area with no problems. She stopped as soon as she heard noises, her anxiety spiking. She had been nervous about meeting everyone before her nightmare. Now, she was afraid they would be another bunch of judgmental assholes that couldn’t stand to be around her. She took a few deep breaths and then walked into the room where all sound stopped, and all eyes were instantly on her.

“So, I guess I’m gonna be an Avenger.”

[longsightmyth]

OKAY SO. Here are my goodreads status updates from my first readthrough of ToD. These are from three years ago, some things are out of date, some aren’t fully fleshed out, and some problems I have this time around are absent from my notes the last time. I will eventually get back into this on my goodreads, but until then have these older updates to tide you over. Cut to save everybody’s dashes.

September 5, 2017 – page 12 

 1.82% "When will people realize that gold is an incredibly soft metal"

September 5, 2017 – page 18 

 2.73% ""The final blow hadn't been an act of brutality or hate" it sounds pretty brutal and hateful?"

September 5, 2017 – page 18 

 2.73% "Call me crazy, but attempted sneakymurder followed by screaming plunging into heart murder with the same knife, again, sounds pretty brutal and hateful to me"

September 5, 2017 – page 28 

 4.24% ""And then he'd ask that servant girl to comb every merchant ship for information about the attack."

First of all, the fragments are strong with this one. Second, that is a stupid idea. You don't know this servant girl, as evidenced by the fact that you don't even know her name. You don't know if she'll be good at extracting info. I mean, she could be. She could also be spying on you right now."

September 5, 2017 – page 28 

 4.24% "Why did Dorian send ambassadors without a retinue"

September 5, 2017 – page 28 

 4.24% "Why is the CAPTAIN OF THE ROYAL GUARD being sent on a diplomatic mission?!"

September 5, 2017 – page 28 

 4.24% "Seriously how did these people not get conquered earlier? How did Adarlan stay in power all these years? How on EARTH has no one assassinated the king of Adarlan?!"

September 5, 2017 – page 48 

 7.27% "Okay for real though what are the responsibilities of the royal guard in this world because they seem significant in their scope and I question why a captain of the guard was commanding armies"

September 5, 2017 – page 53 

 8.03% "Idk man I feel like 'why did your previous king enslave and/or murder his own and various other peoples' to be a valid question"

September 5, 2017 – page 66 

 10.0% "I find it utterly ludicrous that a trained medical professional won't just say the word penis"

September 7, 2017 – page 85 

 12.88% "Okay look you've admitted that Kadja (the servant, who at last has a name)could be in the pay of someone but you're still trusting the information she gives you with no qualms whatsoever?"

September 7, 2017 – page 90 

 13.64% ""It will totes be a weakness if I mention that I'm looking for THE ONLY OTHER MEMBER OF MY DIPLOMATIC GROUP who has gone missing because it will reveal that I care about her"

I don't know what to do with these people I really don't"

September 7, 2017 – page 91 

 13.79% "I take back whatever points Chaol earned for bothering to learn Kadja's name. Stop yelling at Nesryn for unreasonable things. It's stupid, first of all, and weird, second"

September 16, 2017 – page 91 

 13.79% "I seem to have misplaced my copy but rest assured I will be back"

September 23, 2017 – page 30 

 4.55% "On the one hand I can understand a grieving sibling not thinking about every possibility, but on the other, "no one within our lands would be stupid enough to [murder a princess and make it look like a suicide]"

First, if they have successfully fooled everyone into thinking it was suicide, that argues for cleverness, no matter what nationality."

September 23, 2017 – page 30 

 4.55% "Second, this is a nation where apparently siblings are supposed to duke it out for the throne and murder the offspring of their less skilled or less lucky siblings. Why wouldn't you murder your siblings at that point? Look at the princess who's married and pregnant - maybe she doesn't like her odds if things proceeded on the up and up. Maybe her spouse doesn't. Maybe they just don't want to risk it."

September 23, 2017 – page 30 

 4.55% "Even if it wasn't a sibling directly, any of their supporters could have done it, or even somebody who just had a grudge and was particularly clever."

September 23, 2017 – page 30 

 4.55% "Third, someone trying to destabilize the current royal family could be murdering folks. It's not like you guys seem to actually DO anything about possible traitors."

September 23, 2017 – page 30 

 4.55% "All of these things Chaol, as the former captain of the royal guard, should be considering. Instead he takes Kashin's word for it, because no one in these books has the sense of a turnip."

September 23, 2017 – page 30 

 4.55% "Also, in case you couldn't tell, I found my book."

September 23, 2017 – page 30 

 4.55% "But seriously why are the leading suspects not her siblings"

September 25, 2017 – page 37 

 5.61% "These fragments keep getting weirder. I'm starting to truly believe this book was just never proofread. Example:

"There were two such vials on the desk now, clear orbs atop silver feet fashioned after ibis legs. Being purified by the endless sunshine within the tower."

Does that not read like someone accidentally hit the space bar twice while typing on an iPhone?"

October 5, 2017 – page 106 

 16.06% "I can't quite put my finger on why the new and strange veneration of Dorian's father bothers me as much as it does. Maybe the utter lack of foreshadowing? It could be that the man made more evil decisions pre-possession, or at least early possession when he ostensibly had enough control to try to make an eight year old..."

October 5, 2017 – page 106 

 16.06% "...lose control and burn him up, thus causing major political unrest and war. The eight year old was an awful child, true, but that's no reason to trick or trap a child into murder and causing a war."

October 5, 2017 – page 106 

 16.06% "Honestly he was a much more effective villain before the series started if you count extreme selfishness as a villainous trait.

 Which I do."

October 5, 2017 – page 107 

 16.21% "Why is everyone STILL fawning of Celaena she isn't even supposed to be in this book GIVE IT A REST"

October 5, 2017 – page 107 

 16.21% "Do we have to have every single POV character independently explain to us who Silba is? Is this a requirement? Is this author being paid by the word?"

October 5, 2017 – page 108 

 16.36% ""In that court of vipers" [footage not found] you can't tell me CONSTANTLY that a court is pretty and valid and useless and only show us the court once (where they are dancing and Dorian is thinking about how his mother and her court are pretty and vapid and useless) and then try to tell me that they were all Evil Politicians working to drag Dorian down. You just can't."

October 5, 2017 – page 109 

 16.52% "More Celaena worship. Should I stop noting this? I probably won't."

October 5, 2017 – page 109 

 16.52% ""I told you what happened," he simply said.

 I will go to my grave saying that if you add dialogue tags to something you want to be plain and simple you are doing it wrong. MY GRAVE."

October 5, 2017 – page 110 

 16.67% "Are these glass bells magical this seems like a bad plan to me"

October 5, 2017 – page 111 

 16.82% "Are only women healers? Why? Is it a magic thing or a cultural thing? Would a man be allowed to be a healer or would he be laughed out, magical healing ability or no? Would he be allowed but looked down on? Do men even get healing magic? Is there a stigma? TELL ME."

October 5, 2017 – page 111 

 16.82% "How does no one in this book have an ex they can just kinda nod at in the street why is it all Tragically Dead or evil past loves"

October 5, 2017 – page 117 

 17.73% ""How many times had he laid into his men for slouching, for chattering amongst themselves, and reassigned them to lesser watches?"

 I mean going by the way you dealt with two guard who literally just peaced out and went to hang out at a party (ie, ah well, this happens, try not to do it again, come back tomorrow) not that many times."

October 5, 2017 – page 123 

 18.64% "Baast cats. Sure, why not, I guess."

October 5, 2017 – page 125 

 18.94% "I guess we do have printing presses in this world somehow"

October 5, 2017 – page 126 

 19.09% "Wait she named one of the Valg kings Orcus? I'm going to laugh my way to my dnd group this weekend"

October 5, 2017 – page 128 

 19.39% "This MADWOMAN is stuffing scrolls that are CENTURIES OLD into her CLOAK POCKETS. I feel faint."

October 5, 2017 – page 130 

 19.7% "Why do so few people get names in this series? Why does nobody think about the fact that they don't know people's names?!"

October 5, 2017 – page 132 

 20.0% "The bell alarm would be super clever if you discount the fact that anyone who watched the library for any length of time would know it never closed, and would therefore know that there was no bell toll to signal the library closing, and would THEREFORE know that the jig, she is up"

October 5, 2017 – page 135 

 20.45% "This isn't quite as bad as Dorian letting Sorscha take the blame for the damage caused by his magical temper tantrum, but come on, Yrene. You want a servant to leave so you can talk to Chaol in private so you straight up say that she HARMED him?"

October 5, 2017 – page 135 

 20.45% "That is quite frankly despicable, even if we ignore the possible consequences to Kadja. You just told the woman she hurt somebody! You put that on her shoulders! You have officially become awful."

October 5, 2017 – page 136 

 20.61% "Wait wait wait Yrene KNOWS that she has made Kadja worry about her position and wellbeing by literally saying that she hurt Chaol, and Yrene doesn't even care? What the everloving FUCK."

October 5, 2017 – page 138 

 20.91% "Why would bodiless shadow entities care about what bodies they inhabited? Is there a reason they only take dude bodies? Did they study humans for a while and decide they should be aesthetically pleasing men to be most effective? WHY"

October 5, 2017 – page 145 

 21.97% ""Either your lack of consciousness during that initial healing kept you from feeling this sort of pain, or perhaps whatever this is had not... settled."

Aka, I needed a wordy way to explain this particular asspull plot device.

Sorry, true love device."

October 5, 2017 – page 148 

 22.42% "Are the ruks basically the eagles. Are they. (In fairness I was thinking of the seanchan flying lizard things whose name escapes me from Wheel of Time until this point)"

October 5, 2017 – page 150 

 22.73% "How are they having this conversation up in the air with the wind"

October 5, 2017 – page 151 

 22.88% ""[Celaena] and Dorian both possess considerable magic. But I would say it is their intelligence that is the stronger weapon."

Celaena and Dorian's intelligence: [footage not found]"

October 5, 2017 – page 153 

 23.18% "Does nobody suspect Yrene? She found the body, she sounded the alarm for something nobody else found, she has all those weird books about death magic and stuff, she has access to the royal family..."

October 5, 2017 – page 159 

 24.09% "You just told Kadja to add lots of honey Yrene don't fucking complain like it's her fault the tea is too sweet now. What the hell. Why are we hating on Kadja so much. She's doing her job as stated by the book.

It's because this is when the author decided that Yrene was going to be Chaol's new love interest isn't it"

October 5, 2017 – page 160 

 24.24% "Of course Chaol instinctively puts the right amount of honey into the tea. Because why not I guess."

October 5, 2017 – page 165 

 25.0% "WHY DOES THE GRAND EMPRESS NOT HAVE A NAME"

October 5, 2017 – page 175 

 26.52% "I'm not saying the idea with the horse is impossible or even ill-conceived, but did you train the horse to answer only to rein? Because it doesn't matter how patient the horse is, if Chaol doesn't have control over his legs they'll either swing a bit, giving the horse commands it has been trained to obey, or keep constant hard pressure, which would confuse the horse if it was trained traditionally."

October 5, 2017 – page 175 

 26.52% "In other words, this is actually a considerate idea. Unfortunately it lacks the knowledge of someone who knows about horses. And I'm not saying all horses are trained the same way, but that's another factor - is this horse trained to ignore legs, one of the main forms of signaling for riders - in favor of rein? Never mentioned."

October 5, 2017 – page 178 

 26.97% ""You have a good seat" he says, at which point Yrene promptly flails everywhere and slides back and forth in her saddle. That means she does not have a good seat. Do a teensy bit of research on horses and riding please"

October 5, 2017 – page 178 

 26.97% "Here's the thing. "No lady, beautiful or plain, young or old, deserved to be gawked at."

It's a great sentiment. It's a sentiment I applaud. It's a sentiment that is completely undermine by this appearing to happen only to Yrene as a tool to tell us how desirable she is, and don't try to tell me it's not."

October 5, 2017 – page 179 

 27.12% ""You encounter that [harassment] here?"

Chaol. Literally one page ago you were commenting on people ogling her creepily. Keep up."

October 5, 2017 – page 180 

 27.27% ""Dorian has long studied and admired the khaganate."

Uh-huh. That's why it was never mentioned before the beginning of this book as anything other than the mysterious southern continent where Nesryn was from. Makes total sense."

October 5, 2017 – page 185 

 28.03% "Look I'm no fan of Chaol these days but it doesn't matter - you're shouting about the man's disability that he is clearly insecure about to a crowd while he sits there after having agreed to help you with something entirely different. You don't have his permission. He didn't ask you to talk to other healers. Why are you being a dick?"

October 5, 2017 – page 185 

 28.03% "Also, the medical professionals still refuse to say the word penis. I don't know why manhood is better, but apparently euphemisms rule the day in this world."

October 5, 2017 – page 185 

 28.03% "Also, the medical professionals still refuse to say the word penis. I don't know why manhood is better, but apparently euphemisms rule the day in this world."

October 5, 2017 – page 186 

 28.18% "No nope nuh-uh this is actually nausea inducing my blind eye isn't even that big a deal but somebody shouting about it and giving my medical particulars to a giant crowd of people I wasn't even told about and pointing out (loudly) that it was rolling off to the side or something would be SO AWFUL. Jesus Christ, I didn't even know I could have this kind of reaction."

October 5, 2017 – page 186 

 28.18% "Fuck this book."

October 5, 2017 – page 186 

 28.18% "Fuck Yrene."

October 5, 2017 – page 186 

 28.18% "This is the WORST."

October 5, 2017 – page 186 

 28.18% "He's literally either strapped to a horse or being carried by these so called healers he can't even just LEAVE. Fuck."

October 5, 2017 – page 187 

 28.33% ""She means well, my Yrene."

I.

Don't.

Care."

October 6, 2017 – page 187 

 28.33% "Still not over it (she literally goes, as if it's a treat, "who would like to assist lord westfall from his mount to his chair?" Could that have even been PHRASED more insultingly?) but let's see what horrors come next."

October 6, 2017 – page 188 

 28.48% "It's a small thing but he keeps referring to them in his brain as 'these ladies' like way to be patronizing Chaol I'm trying to give you a pass because of the EXTREME AMOUNT OF DICKISHNESS that has recently been visited upon you but come on"

October 6, 2017 – page 188 

 28.48% "Stop with beheld.

Also, not to harp on this, but can YA in general get its facts straight in regards to self defense? Chaol has never trained non-soldiers. Chaol has never been trained BY non-soldiers. Chaol has never studied or considered the types of self-defense necessary for, say, a twelve year old girl who ha otherwise had no martial arts training and will probably not have other martial arts training."

October 6, 2017 – page 188 

 28.48% "The techniques involved are ENTIRELY DIFFERENT."

October 6, 2017 – page 190 

 28.79% "I ask again, what duties went with captain of the royal guard?!"

October 6, 2017 – page 195 

 29.55% "She gets mad at him when he makes a jibe about her getting the apprentices to haul him off his horse without asking him. She literally just walks away from him while he's still strapped to the horse. Now she's demanding if she DID something to him"

October 6, 2017 – page 195 

 29.55% ""Your piss-poor attitude helps no one and nothing"

Go fuck yourself Yrene"

October 6, 2017 – page 196 

 29.7% "But it's NESRYN who's the bad guy for expressing surprise that Chaol rode somewhere?!"

October 6, 2017 – page 199 

 30.15% "Okay, at least she apologized. Sorta? "I'm sorry. I should have considered your feelings on the matter."

Yeah. You should have. Or maybe, like, ASKED."

October 6, 2017 – page 203 

 30.76% "In my quest for fairness, that passage about Chaol feeling guilty for shit that went down in his past was significantly better done than most of the whole book. Unfortunately we've seen no sign of these things in Chaol's POV before, so it still comes out of left field."

October 6, 2017 – page 217 

 32.88% "Of course the princess' favorite story is about Celaena even if she doesn't know it's about Celaena"

October 6, 2017 – page 223 

 33.79% "It's possible I just like badass queer ladies, but Hassar is sounding cooler and cooler outside the weird jealousy thing with Renia. It's also possible that it's because the narrative doesn't try to tell me she's Good and Pure while she's talking about beheading folks."

October 6, 2017 – page 224 

 33.94% "I take it back. Why is everyone awful."

October 6, 2017 – page 233 

 35.3% "All of a sudden they're so attracted to each other that him saying her name 'made her toes curl'. It's not that I didn't see this coming, it just feels super abrupt."

October 6, 2017 – page 247 

 37.42% ""He hadn't quite realized how slim her waist was, how her hips flared beneath it. How her other assets swelled above."

I leave this for y'all without further comment."

October 6, 2017 – page 254 

 38.48% "Where are all the question marks?"

October 6, 2017 – page 256 

 38.79% "Apparently because Chaol is not cave-man jealous that Nesryn is talking to another dude, he and Nesryn aren't meant to be. Wow."

October 6, 2017 – page 271 

 41.06% ""But the scroll... it was too precious. Too ancient to treat so callously. Even flattening it out might harm the integrity of the paper, the ink."

Didn't stop you from SHOVING IT INTO YOUR POCKET EARLIER, YRENE"

October 25, 2017 – page 282 

 42.73% "I'm back to ask where all the question marks went"

January 5, 2018 – page 285 

 43.18% "That was a paragraph made almost entirely of fragments."

January 5, 2018 – page 293 

 44.39% ""The scent of lemon and lavender [from the Torre]" that is my perfume how did I never notice it before I AM SO MAD"

January 5, 2018 – page 299 

 45.3% "More retconning to make Dorian's still unnamed father a sort of antihero making hard decisions by murdering everybody who could maybe use magic."

January 5, 2018 – page 299 

 45.3% "I hate everything about this idea, and everything about how all evil men are redeemed or found to have not been under their own power while women who do something 'wrong' (like doubting Celaena) are given grisly punishments even when they are revealed to be misguided or whatever in the case of Kaltain."

January 5, 2018 – page 299 

 45.3% "I hate everything about this idea, and everything about how all evil men are redeemed or found to have not been under their own power while women who do something 'wrong' (like doubting Celaena) are given grisly punishments even when they are revealed to be misguided or whatever in the case of Kaltain."

January 5, 2018 – page 308 

 46.67% "I actually do appreciate this. The handling of Chaol's disability has been pretty crappy, but this guard (with a name!) has a prosthetic arm and he uses it and goes about his life. Props."

January 6, 2018 – page 317 

 48.03% "I actually do like this part. If Yrene were always like this I'd like this book, but the book can't seem to just let Yrene be this person who always wants to help people. I can't put my finger on why she seems so inconsistent to me. It could be the many mentions of Celaena are off-putting, or it could be that we rarely ever see Yrene helping the poor."

January 6, 2018 – page 317 

 48.03% "I won't say never because we have at least two examples. As always though, these books rely too heavily on telling while they show us something else."

January 6, 2018 – page 319 

 48.33% "This is part of the reason these books frustrate me so much. Every once no a while a line or a paragraph comes that makes me think that maybe the author Gets It, but then it's lost in a miasma of Celaena worship and males and females and all that nonsense."

January 6, 2018 – page 324 

 49.09% "Then we get "don't you waste one heartbeat being afraid of a coward who hunts women in the darkness."

First of all, that could be polished up to be a better line. Second, it's literally a demon hunting her. Third, she has the bare basics of self defense. Fourth, YES WE ARE AFRAID OF PEIPLE HUNTING WOMEN IN THE DARK, YOU DICK. That doesn't mean we can't do something about it. Fuck off."

January 6, 2018 – page 328 

 49.7% "Men are "silky, Court-trained liars" a la Black Jewels, but women are apparently "smooth, pretty" liars. Make of that what you will."

January 6, 2018 – page 338 

 51.21% "Nope we have spent five books and multiple short stories in Celaena's mind we never see any of this planning I will not be convinced by this toadying"

January 6, 2018 – page 340 

 51.52% "Why does no one seem to understand that being good at using a weapon does not immediately equate to being a good tactician or a good leader?!"

January 6, 2018 – page 347 

 52.58% ""But what is more unusual: that a Balruhni woman is their captain, or that a captain of Adarlan has ventured so far?"

Idk she's supposed to be running the military body responsible for the protection of a king so I'd think it would be unusual for her to leave said king but what do I know"

January 6, 2018 – page 347 

 52.58% ""The real question is... does she come as emissary or bride?"

That would not be my real question I have to admit. Also it's a stupid question. These books are written with a juvenile humor and juvenile character interactions while trying to give graphic adult content and I hate everything."

January 6, 2018 – page 349 

 52.88% ""Made sure he notes that the grace with which she moved was not some feminine gift"

Sorry do you think women just naturally move gracefully?"

January 6, 2018 – page 371 

 56.21% "Apparently the sentient southern spiders are not as civilized as the northern sentient spiders idk y'all"

January 6, 2018 – page 378 

 57.27% "Of course the fae brought 'civilizations to the southern continent of course they did"

January 6, 2018 – page 405 

 61.36% "Hang on can the giant birds talk now?"

January 6, 2018 – page 405 

 61.36% "Nope, sorry, pronoun confusion. All good."

January 6, 2018 – page 421 

 63.79% "I mean we all know my stance on Celaena, re: her supposed brilliance and/or that of her advisors, so it should surprise no one that it seems like all the royalty here are talking sense when it comes to not helping her."

January 6, 2018 – page 453 

 68.64% "Apparently love can make you walk again after a spine injury. I guess that's good to know. (What the hell)"

January 6, 2018 – page 470 

 71.21% "Remember girls if you win anything it's only because the boys you're competing with are worried you'll hurt your fragile feminine selves and let you win (unless you are Celaena Sardothien, in which case sometimes you are allowed to win on your own in the most obnoxious way possible)"

January 6, 2018 – page 471 

 71.36% "I think I'm supposed to find this cute but frankly everything about this fucking stinks, a dude had his father declare he was betrothed to a woman and she didn't know it was going to happen and because she hasn't outright told the dude to jump off a cliff everybody's like 'ah yes she really does want him' even as they talk about how the marriage might help a strained and grouchy alliance"

January 6, 2018 – page 481 

 72.88% "It's not a chestnut if it has a black mane it is a bay I swear to god it will be trivial horse details in YA lit that make me lose it in the end"

January 6, 2018 – page 483 

 73.18% "MY KINGDOM FOR A GELDING"

January 6, 2018 – page 486 

 73.64% "I'm getting the feeling that people don't understand how much leg muscle it takes to ride a horse successfully even if you don't use your legs to guide them. Is Chaol's tricked-out saddle being used and I missed it?"

January 6, 2018 – page 498 

 75.45% "Everything good is apparently fae, even healing magic. Watch Yrene turn out to be the long lost heir to the Magical Healing Fae Dynasty or something."

January 6, 2018 – page 498 

 75.45% "Still no word on why only women are healers"

January 6, 2018 – page 509 

 77.12% "Of course the gay princess is the high tempered murder-y brat princess. Of course."

January 6, 2018 – page 520 

 78.79% "It should be impossible to glorify Celaena without even knowing who she is AND YET"

January 6, 2018 – page 530 

 80.3% "I call bullshit. No foreshadowing, no nothing. This is yet another goddamn asspull for shock value and I am TIRED OF IT"

January 7, 2018 – page 563 

 85.3% "Once again there are parts of this that would be good if they made any sense at all in the narrative or had anything leading up to them or didn't DIRECTLY CONTRADICT other parts of the book"

January 7, 2018 – page 565 

 85.61% "Once again, abusive asshole dude given benefit of the doubt and apparently was actually trying to save his son I swear to god how many of these can there BE."

January 7, 2018 – page 567 

 85.91% "For the love of god how much more veneration of Celaena can one woman be expected to stand"

January 7, 2018 – page 570 

 86.36% ""He did not deserve to serve such a man. Such a king."

I am of the opinion that there are few people terrible enough to DESERVE serving Dorian, but here we are."

January 7, 2018 – page 575 

 87.12% "Of course he's fully healed of course he is love apparently heals spinal injuries so well it's as if they never were aside from an easily overlooked scar much like Celaena's three parallel whip scar marks on her back I swear to god"

January 7, 2018 – page 576 

 87.27% ""Then Sartaq clasped arms with Yeran, whine Borte pointedly ignored, which Nesryn supposed was an improvement on outright hostility"

Nah man dude decided he and Borte were engaged without even letting her know and made a FORMAL ANNOUNCEMENT ABOUT IT and she seems to feel that telling him to fuck off would endanger a precarious alliance"

January 7, 2018 – page 579 

 87.73% "Sorry the Borte quote was supposed to be 579"

January 7, 2018 – page 579 

 87.73% "Either way, why is everyone treating this like it's cute?"

January 7, 2018 – page 579 

 87.73% "It's creepy in the extreme and manipulative AT BEST"

January 7, 2018 – page 580 

 87.88% ""Yet as she left, Nesryn could have sworn Borte gave Yeran a secret, small smile"

No. Stop it. This isn't cute. This is creepy as fuck. Stop telling people that all you have to do is make the girl yours and she'll love you eventually. That's some Stockholm bullshit. I hate everything."

January 7, 2018 – page 580 

 87.88% ""She set a date. That's how she got my hearth-mother to approve."

Cool so Borte BARTERED HERSELF OFF to save her hearth-brother dude but we're just going to pretend this is cute I hate EVERYTHING"

January 7, 2018 – page 591 

 89.55% ""It would have been like Aelin, to shift the battle between her and Maeve to the shore. To minimize casualties, so she could unleash her full power without hesitation."

FOOTAGE NOT FUCKING FOUND Celaena has never given any sort of shits about innocent bystanders aside from useless lip service and has in fact BURNED ENTIRE SHIPS OF HER ALLIES ALIVE and been irritated that people were upset with her about it"

January 7, 2018 – page 591 

 89.55% "I am SO ANGRY"

January 7, 2018 – page 601 

 91.06% "Once again, no foreshadowing whatsoever."

January 7, 2018 – page 609 

 92.27% "No fucks given about Duva, it's all about the fetus now apparently"

January 7, 2018 – page 639 

 96.82% "I fail to see why the gender of a demon makes any difference at all. Why is this an OMG BIG REVEAL?"

January 7, 2018 – page 640 

 96.97% "God the book is trying it's trying SO HARD to make not all women terrible people unless they bow to Celaena but like. This is a complete reversal of Hassar. We've never seen her care about anybody but Renia."

January 7, 2018 – page 654 

 99.09% ""No longer Yrene Towers - but Yrene Westfall"

The Towers women have kept their last name through at least ten generations this is BULLSHIT it's a healer thing why can't she be Yrene Towers, Lady Westfall it's not without precedent irl and all it would do would keep character consistency and not immediately behold her to a man oh wait"

January 7, 2018 – page 656 

 99.39% "FOR THE LOVE OF GOD MORE CELAENA VENERATION"

January 7, 2018 – page 659 

 99.85% ""A coffin built by an ancient queen to keep the sun inside"

The sun is Celaena/Aelin, in case you were curious."

January 7, 2018 – Shelved as: 1-5-stars

[sohin-ace]

Josuke - Ghost

This is cross-posted from Wattpad and available on AO3.

Enjoy~

Ghost! Fem! reader x Josuke

There was something wrong with Josuke these days and he knew it. Ever since the beginning of that summer it felt like all the weirdest events kept happening.

As if having a serial killer on the loose in town wasn't enough, he started to see someone. It happened very suddenly, he was alone in his bedroom when he heard a faint and feminine voice.

It was like she was calling for help, but when she finally appeared in front of him, he was close to shitting his pants, fainting and having a heart attack, all at the same time.

"WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?!"

When he saw the spirit, his first thought was that you were a Stand, and he immediately called his own, ready to beat the crap out of you.

By some miracle, you managed to calm him down and explain to him that you weren't a Stand at all. That would explain why you were sentient and could form actual coherent sentences.

Josuke kept on seeing that ghost in his house every other day. At first he was obviously freaked out and wanted to call an exorcist or more conveniently, Jotaro to help him get rid of her.

But at the end of the day, she was very sweet and he took a liking to her. He didn't mind the compagny and she made him get his mind off things. Call him crazy, but at this point in his life, nothing could get any weirder.

"Hey, did you always live here or did you suddenly found yourself in my house?" He asked after being accustomed to your frequent visits.

"I roamed into the endless void until I felt something connecting me to this place, that's why I'm here."

He shuddered. What a morbid choice of words. "Well you sure know how to spook people..."

You chuckled. "I still wonder why I suddenly latched on this house. I didn't mean to haunt you."

He shivered again as he rolled to the side of his bed. Why was the room so cold? He got up to put something on his back and warm himself up.

"Are you making the temperature drop or something with your ghostliness? It's summer but I'm freezing!"

"Hmm, maybe it's my voice." It was true that your soft voice held a distant resonnance to it that made you sound quite litteraly out of this world. This always intrigued him, but he was charmed by it.

"Or maybe it's because I'm..."

"Don't do it." He warned, only expecting a bad ghost pun from you, but you only smiled a big grin and striked an impossible pose.

"...Drop dead gorgeous?"

"GET OUTTA HERE!"

You both laughed at your goofiness and had a great time. Despite you being a ghost, Josuke couldn't help but be enamored with you. You were pretty cute and funny and you seemed attentive to even the smallest details about him.

"You know... y-you would have been my t-type of girl..."

He trailed off and turned his face away from you to hide his furious blush, embarassed to admit it. You chuckled at his cute behavior.

"If I was still alive..." Your expression softened with a hint of melancholy. "Please don't love me. I don't want to induce more pain to others..."

"..."

That was how you two would hang out from time to time, when you appeared in his house. He couldn't talk about this with anyone else, not even Okuyasu. But he didn't mind, in fact, he kind of liked that you were his little secret.

"Heeyyy ghooost girl! I'm boreeed!" Josuke lazily called out, hoping that you would come out without having him making some Ouija rituals or anything.

"Hey! That's rude, I have a name!" You poked your head through one of the walls and floated over him, who was laying on his bed.

"Well you never told me it!" He deadpanned as you hovered over him, inching towards his face.

"Well you never asked!" you bickered back.

"Well what's your name, ghost girl?"

You backed away from him and put yourself in a sitting position on his bed as you looked at him. "My name is Y/N Zeppeli. And I already know your name, Josuke Higashikata."

He shot up in his bed and stared at you wide eyed "Wait! Y/N that's your name? It's so cute! It fits you way better than ghost girl!"

Even without a body of flesh and blood, you swore you felt your face blushing profusely right now.

"O-of course it does! Why did you even start calling me that!" You pouted and he laughed at you.

More days passed together and he shared all of his stories with you. He would talk about his day and you were quite fascinated by how passionate he was towards his friends. Especially that Okuyasu guy, he sounded like a lot of fun.

"Oh, Y/N I always wanted to ask you something." His tone and expression turned serious suddenly and you nodded at him, gesturing him to go on.

He scooted over to you, getting all close and personnal as he stared into your eyes, a little bit hesitant to ask.

"Do you... Remember how you died...?"

You flinched at his question and he gasped, sensing your distress and instantly regretting his words.

"Y-you don't have to answer if it's too painful! I can't even imagine what it'd be like to remember your own death..." He fretted, feeling like an idiot for even bringing that up.

You looked down, a sad smile gracing your lips.

"Josuke." You breathed and his heart skipped a beat at the way you pronounced his name, sending shivers down his spine.

"Y-yes?" He was blushing red. Why did he feel so affected suddenly.

"You are... A descendant of the Joestar bloodline, right?"

"Joestar...?" Now he was curious. "Yes, how did you know?"

"There are other Joestars in this very house, right?" He gulped as you splurted truths after truths and he started to get very uncomfortable.

"Y/N you're scaring the shit out of me..." As you didn't answer and didn't move a single inch he continued. "Y-yeah, there's more of my family here... Why?"

You suddenly floated away from your seated position in front of him, and did something very unexpected.

You came closer to him, way closer than you've ever been before, and glided your hands under the strap of his sleeveless shirt. The proximity and the contact flustering him to no end.

"W-w-what are you doing...?!" He stuttered shakily, his face and ears burning as your bodiless form came in contact with the skin of his back and shoulders.

It felt weird, you didn't have skin to touch him, but what he felt of you was a cold but comforting breeze, tickling and grazing his skin ever so slightly, raising every single hair on his arms and back of his neck with goosebumps.

It wasn't unpleasant, in fact, it was quite pleasurable. But the shock he was left in didn't let room for his mind to drift off towards any undesired thoughts. He glanced at you and your beautiful yet dulled features from the corner of his eyes.

He couldn't help but think that you must have been so incredibly pretty when you were alive. That you must have held the most delicious of warmths and ministrated the sweetest of caresses.

But you were gone. So young too. He felt blessed to have met you, but cursed that it would be in such circumstances.

You carefully moved his strap from his back to stare at the star that was deeply imprinted into his skin. You sighed in understanding as your doubts were confirmed.

You slowly backed away from his shoulder and stopped right in front of his face. "Josuke Joestar..."

His whole body tensed up again, he gulped loudly and his heart was beating anxiously fast at the name you just called him.

"The reason I'm latched onto this home is because the Joestars dwell here." You spoke honestly as you were slowly putting the pieces together.

"What?" He gasped at the sudden confession.

You were linked to his family line? But why? He was so confused and had so many questions. As if you had read his mind, you continued.

"The Zeppeli bloodline has been linked to the Joestars for centuries." You paused and looked down again, trying to find the right words.

Josuke was staring at you, speechless as he listened to your story. He had always found you so mysterious and intriguing, but now that he was starting to know the truth, he felt like it was something that should have been left unknown.

He felt like he was digging into something he shouldn't, that the outcome would leave one of you heartbroken.

But somewhat this was fate. Whatever would happen was bound to happen. You clenched your fists over your lap before continuing.

"Our sole purpose.... is to die for you." You breathed, not quite daring to look at him in the eye just yet.

His whole body shook and his mouth fell agape. He tried to form words, but he was so overwhelmed by all the informations, he couldn't believe what he was hearing from you.

How come he didn't know something like that? Did Jotaro know? Did Joseph know? He had so many questions, he didn't know where to start.

"Th-that means..." He started, his voice stuck in his throat. "That... You... You-"

"I died for my Joestar." You continued for him, a melancholic smile reaching your lips and eyes.

"W-who was it...?" He faintly managed to utter, barely over a whisper, not wanting the question to leave his mouth, and terrified of the answer.

Untangible tears prickled in your eyes and you finally looked up at him.

"I'm so happy that you are alive, Josuke." Your voice cracked into a sob as heavy tears spilled down your face.

Josuke felt his throat tighten painfully, he couldn't breathe. "No..." He denied, not wanting to accept what he was understanding. "No way... No...no...no..."

You nodded slowly, confirming his doubts and placed your cold hands upon his cheeks.

You admired the depth of his blue eyes in completely fondness. He was so beautiful, and he looked healthy. You were glad, so glad.

"You became such a wonderful person. If I had a second chance, I would not hesitate to give my life for you again."

"Y/N DON'T SAY THAT!!!" He snapped completely as he processed the revelation, his voice cracking. "THERE'S NO FUCKING WAY, YOU'RE JOKING!! TELL ME YOU'RE LYING TO ME!!!"

You leaned in and pressed your forehead against his and the boy couldn't contain his tears anymore as he sobbed heavily.

You had died for him. You sacrificed yourself so he could live, and he didn't even have the chance to know you, to cherish you.

He would have never known what you did for him if it wasn't for your sudden paranormal appearance in his house, and now he couldn't even return the favor.

With these thoughts in mind, he cried harder, like a lost little boy, but he didn't care anymore. You ran your thumbs over his tears in a desperate and vain attempt to wipe them.

"Don't cry Josuke." You reassured softly, "It makes me happy that you lived to be such a lovely and caring man."

"B-but... Y/N... I didn't even know you! I couldn't even save you! Now I can't even thank you!" He cried heavily, speaking his pain through his loud sobs.

You shook your head. "You being happy and in good health is enough for me. It means that my death had meaning."

"O-of course! I won't waste your sacrifice, trust me! I will live my life to the fullest and cherish every single day! I will make your death meaningful and worth it."

You leaned back just a slight bit to look into his soaking eyes. The gaze you wore was so full of love, his heart ached like needles pierced through it.

"You are priceless, Josuke. Thank you for being alive."

"Thank you for saving my life, Y/N." He finished awfully calm, dejected at his own helplessness.

You hugged him close to you and craddled him in an inexistant hold, but he still felt your warmth, somehow. He put his hands around your back, craving the feel of your body, something that he will never have.

After staying still, enjoying each other's presence one last time, you asked him permission with an airy voice that soothed him.

"Josuke, may I pass on...?"

"... You may."

And just like that, you faded away, towards the other side. Where you would finally meet with your ancestors, where all the Joestars and the Zeppelis were bound to meet again. Where he would hopefully join you one day.

Left alone in the silence of his room, he had finally accepted your fate and his.

Dressed in a black suit, Josuke walked the streets of Morioh, one hand holding a bouquet of flowers, and the other tucked in his pocket.

He couldn't care less of the fawns and whispers of the girls passing by him, complimenting how handsome he looked and how lucky the girl they assumed he was seeing must be.

He directed himself towards his dreaded destination. Contrary to what you see in fictions, the cemetary didn't hold a morose or scary ambiance at all.

It was comfortably silent. The air felt fresher here than in any other place in town. The only sound heard was his dress shoes hitting the gravel.

He walked slowly by the isles, eyes scanning the names and dates on the tombstones. Memorial of loved ones. Place of rest. It was relaxing.

After walking and searching for 10 more minutes, his eyes finally found the name he was looking for. It took all his self control to not run towards it.

'Here lies Y/N Zeppeli'

He sighed and sat down in front of the name. What-if scenarios kept on running through his mind. What if he had met you when you were alive? What if he had saved you?

"At the end of the day... You didn't even tell me how you died. How will I avenge you if I don't know who killed you?" He uttered as he gently laid the flowers on the grave.

A gust of icy cold wind suddenly washed over him, carressing his face. Strange, it was supposed to be a fairly warm day and the wind hasn't been blowing all day. He scoffed, which soon turned into a chuckle.

"Oh I see how it is. It's a sign, isn't it?" He paused and looked up at the clear yellow sky. "It's probably better if I don't know..." He whispered quietly to himself.

He felt like he needed a break from his bizarre adventure, and now was just the perfect moment.

He looked intently at your tombstone and how your name was neatly engraved in the mineral until he noticed a little crack on the upper side.

He gasped and scrambled to his knees to get a closer look at it. What the hell? Who dared damage your last home?

He glided his fingers along the lines of the crack and clicked his tongue. He then leaned in, and gently pressed his lips on it, using Crazy Diamond to fix it back.

He smiled at his handiwork, the stone looking brand new again. You deserved at least that.

"That's the least I could do for you."

Bonus:

One day as you were hanging out with Josuke, you looked around his room curiously. He then laid back lazily on his bed and looked up at you as you stopped to inspect one of his posters. His eyes suddenly widened, focusing on one particular thing.

"Hey! When you float over me like that I can see under your skirt!"

You gasped in disbelief. "What?! No way!"

You looked down at him and tensed up, flustered. He perked up in a sitting position to get a better view.

"OOOHOOH GHOST UNDIES!! NICE!!!" He roared in victory and you tried desperately to slap him, your hands flying right through him as he snickered.

"JOSUKE YOU BIG PERV!!! I'll give you sleep paralysis tonight!!" You threatened and he stopped, his expression shifting to panick.

"W-w-whoa hey you're not serious!! You can actually do that??"

Long as fuck. I didn't mean to make it heartbreaking, but shit happens.

Could crazy Diamond fix that fanfic?

[connorspiracy]

Seance In The Library || Connor & Leah

TIMING: Current LOCATION: The Public Library PARTIES: @connorspiracy & @phoenixleah  SUMMARY: With the time for the second exorcism of Nadia/Cordelia looming closer, Connor goes looking for knowledge. Leah is happy to assist. 

Blanche had been fucking stabbed and Cordelia was still out there, and that knowledge filled Connor with even more extreme sense of urgency. Nadia had been practicing her possessions, so it was almost time to put things into practice. He knew he’d have another exorcist for help, but he still wanted to do his research. There had been so much going on recently; Bloody Mary, Adam’s full moon mania, Jasmine’s Larry Bob problem, that it was tough to keep up. It was his fault for not getting it right the first time. Blanche could have died, all because he’d messed up. Nadia was still floating around in ghost form somewhere, and that spiteful little poltergeist was taunting them on Nadia’s social media. They’d dug through every fucking book in Rio’s library and he still hadn’t found anything that would help with Cordelia. It was time to branch out. That was what brought Connor to the definitely-regular library, wandering around the occult section, probably looking like a right weirdo. It had probably been a good few minutes before he caught the eye of someone who looked like an employee. “Oh, hey,” he said, putting on his best charming smile, doing everything he could not to look like an out-of-place dodgy creep. “‘Scuse me, love,” he said, not to be demeaning, but just because it was how posh London boys spoke. “Do you have anything on exorcisms, or possession and stuff?” 

More often than not, when someone was wandering around the so-called ‘fiction’ occult section in White Crest Library, Leah found that they were looking for help with real, and often very urgent problems.  It was easy to tell apart those who had an obsession with all things weird and were looking for a good read,  and those who actually needed information, whether it was by body language, facial expression, or even something more subtle that she couldn’t put her finger on.  She was glad the library was there to help.  The problem was, it was usually hard for the average person to decipher between what was actually fiction in that section, and what was written by real, legitimate authors that could offer invaluable information.  It was for this reason that she usually hung just beyond the section whenever someone made their way there, ready and willing to offer help if ever the situation arose.  She smiled at the patron politely, a bit taken aback but intrigued by his accent.  

She licked her lips at his question, looking at the shelves they were both standing in front of.  “Oh, we have a ton on all of that”, she said, raising her eyebrows.  More than the average library, certainly.  “Some would say we have too much on that subject”, she teased, pulling out one of the books in front of them, scoffing at the pictures on the cover.  “These here are all pretty poorly written”, she commented, handing him the book in question.  “But if any of that stuff were real, and well, of course it’s not… But if it were, you’d probably find the more legitimate works over this way”, she said, leading him toward the shelves a bit to their right.  “Are you planning on possessing someone?  Or just getting into the nitty-gritty of our weird town and looking to read about the occult?”

Connor had a pretty good instinct for people, and he could tell upon meeting the young woman (Leah, according to her name tag) that she was keen to help. There was a certain brightness about her, a glimmer in her eye that spoke of curiosity and kindness. He felt himself smiling almost without meaning to. "A ton?" he repeated, chuckling. "Well, a ton is what I'm looking for." He couldn't help but smirk a little at her real-but-not-real description of this particular section, following her to what she called the more legitimate section. "Oh, it's definitely real. You know exactly what I'm looking for. Thank you." There was really no use in holding up pretenses when he was all over the internet. 

"Me? No, no, I'm not the possessor. I'm an exorcist. I'm looking for something a bit different, you see. Something that's probably a bit... weirder? It's less taking the wrong soul out of the body and more putting the right one back in. Does that make sense?" He realised how that sounded, holding up his hands and shaking his head. "Um, not necromancy. Shit. Jesus. No, there are no dead bodies involved, fortunately. Definitely possession. But more... if the exorcism yeeted the wrong person, and you have to put it back." 

This man definitely knew about the realities of White Crest, based on his reaction, but Leah wasn’t one to reveal her knowledge of them as well, especially not to a patron and a stranger.  He didn’t have to play along with her game of ignorance, but Leah fully intended on upholding it as long as realistically possible.  For now, she brushed off his words about her protest of reality.  Her eyes widened, not used to someone being so open about necromancy, of all things.  She was about to ask if he was trying to reanimate a corpse, when his elaboration made it clear that wasn’t exactly what he was talking about.  She laughed, surprised that he seemed to know exactly what she was thinking.“Okay, not so simple, then”, she said, letting out a breath and trying to think.  “Is there a wrong soul inhabiting the body right now, though?  Because I think, if this were real, you’d still need a way to get that one out, no?” She worked while she talked, pulling books out of the shelves here and there as she got more ideas of what might help.  “What if you found a way to help the right soul back into their body by… teaching them how to possess?  If they were possessed in the first place, why not do to the wrong soul what was done to them?”

It struck Connor that perhaps he shouldn't have been so honest about Nadia's predicament, but how else was he going to get the help he needed? It wasn't like he was naming names. He made it a habit to almost never be dishonest about the supernatural, whether people wanted to know or not. "Not simple, no." He perused the shelves, flicking through the first book, page by page. "Wrong soul out, wrong one in. I was supposed to expel the other. I'm not sure what happened." The corners of his lips curved into a grin when she mentioned teaching Nadia how to possess. "You're not the first person that's had that thought. We're working on it. Just thought our lost soul could use all the help they can get." 

Leah let out a breath, watching the man carefully.  “I’m with you on that, the more preparedness you can get for a situation like this, the better.”  She placed the books she’d been piling on the table nearby with a thud, her face turning serious. “Are they a friend of yours, then?”  She’d read in the scribe journals about a similar situation many times- souls inhabiting bodies that weren’t their own, loved ones desperate to get the right soul back to where it belonged, but it wasn’t always easy- nor was it always successful.  “I’m sure you’re aware that what you’re trying to do is very dangerous”, she said, dropping the pretense she knew the man didn’t need for only a moment.  “I have some… loose information on the subject in the basement that might offer extra guidance, if you’re willing to wait for me to make some copies.” 

“The floating, bodiless spirit? I dunno if I’d call them a friend. Lots of people I know are friends with them though. I wanted to help.” He was probably sharing far too much information, but Connor rarely ever saw the need to lie. Either people accepted his words or didn’t, but he rarely sugar-coated them. “Dangerous, ha, yeah. You could say that.” The spirit trapped in Nadia’s body was a murderer. She was a poltergeist. Those factors alone were dangerous enough without adding exorcisms to the mix. “Oh, you have a basement?” Where they kept the good stuff, no doubt. He made a mental note of it. “That’d be sound. I can come and help, if you want?” 

“A friend of friends, then”, she said with a smile and a nod.  Leah could understand the sentiment of wanting to help someone, even if she hardly knew them.  She supposed that was why she enjoyed the job she had so much.  “Have you done this sort of double reverse exorcism before?”, she asked, curious.  The dude clearly knew what he was talking about, but something like this was almost unprecedented.  If something similar had happened in White Crest recently, she hadn’t heard about it.    Her expression turned serious when he asked about the basement, and she hoped he didn’t notice the way her body stiffened.  “A small, sparse basement, yes, to hold lose works that wouldn’t fit in any sections up here.  It’s off limits unless you’re a certified employee”, she explained shortly. “I’m sure you understand.  We all have protocols we need to follow.” 

"Yeah, friend of a friend." And those friends (especially that angry Kaden guy) would probably kick Connor’s ass if he didn't fix this. He tried to let his genuine interest in the conversation with the young woman overtake his fear of what would happen if this went wrong again. "I haven't. It's pretty exciting. If you ignore the potentially horrifying consequences of it going wrong," he said with a vague chuckle. "You don't seem to be acting like I'm fucking bonkers, by the way. I appreciate that. It's refreshing. White Crest Lifer?" Not that living here meant you had to believe in the truth about the town. He’d met far too many who would rather bury their head in the sand and not think about what they might get bitten by. Literally. 

Leah leaned against a wall as the man spoke, now fully fascinated at the prospect of what he was trying to do.  If it meant saving someone’s life and letting someone else’s soul pass on, she wanted to be as helpful as she could. “But you can’t not try”, she said, understanding.  “Not trying feels worse, somehow, than trying and failing.”  At his next words, she glanced around them, making sure to confirm that no one was in earshot of their conversation.  As a scribe, it felt like a betrayal to open up to a stranger about her awareness of the supernatural so willingly, but as a phoenix, it felt kind of invigorating. Her expression was soft as she answered.  “Sometimes it’s nice not to have to hold up appearances”, she said.  “I’ve lived here my whole life, and believe it or not, the library is where a lot of people turn to get help with this sort of thing.”  She looked at the book she’d laid out for him, knowing they wouldn’t be enough.  “How about I go get those copies for you, hmm?  I’d like to think they’ll be really useful.”  Without a second glance, she flashed him another smile.  As she quickened her pace toward the basement, she held the key in her hand firmly, ready for the familiar motion of unlocking the door that held so many of White Crests secrets underneath.

“Exactly,” Connor said, a little more serious than he’d been moments before. The happy-go-lucky casual conversation vibe could only stay at the forefront for so long. “I had to try the first time, even though it went wrong and my friend was upset with me for buggering it up. Now I feel even more motivated to make sure I get it right.” Connor returned Leah’s smile, grateful for her help. “I never keep up any appearances, ever,” he chuckled. “I literally have a whole YouTube channel talking about ghosts and exorcisms and stuff, so secrecy isn’t really my strength, but…” He looked at her with a small, sincere nod. “I really appreciate this, okay? I really think we’re gonna get it right this time.” He didn’t have a choice. Not succeeding was unthinkable. He wouldn’t fail Nadia again.

[verus-veritas]

Collan's Caption This Catch Up

I was obsessed with Cullen McCathers. Coming to live in a college dorm after years of a hermit-like high school existence was culture shock. Back home I was the weird, skinny nerd, the token gay social outcast who did his best to avoid the rest of the small-minded, small town denizens who were all too willing torment the obvious outsider given the slightest opportunity, never mind that I had been born there just like the rest of them. So I had made sure the opportunities they got were few and far between, and I had assumed I would continue staying out of the way in college. Keeping my head down was a winning strategy. Why mess with success? What I hadn't counted on was the reality of being forced to live cheek-by-jowl with a seeming unending parade of ideal male bodies. Within the first hour I was overwhelmed by them. On the paths of the campus they walked, in the lounges of the dorm they casually relaxed, in the halls they fist bumped with their bros, and one in particular even invaded my room. I had requested a single room and had thought it had gotten approved, but in typical bureaucratic fashion I showed up on the first day of Freshman orientation to find someone already occupying an obvious double room. I had a roommate. Cullen McCathers. From that very first day, I discovered that even though he spoke to me in a friendly enough fashion and I apparently responded appropriately to the conversation, none of it really registered. He remained a remote and unattainable object despite our sharing a living space, because my thoughts, my gaze, the core of my very being seemed to be pulled into his orbit on a visceral level. He was muscled and toned like a fitness model, and he had a strong face that lit up when he smiled. His voice was sexy, his eyes were sexy, his walk was sexy. His scent, whenever I managed to get a whiff of it, drove me wild with desire, and after watching him unself-consciously change in our room to go take a shower, I knew he was hung so big that I wondered how he dealt with all of that meat in his crotch on a daily basis.

Within a day my universe shifted, and he became its center. He filled my waking fantasies and starred in my nightly dreams.

I was obsessed with Cullen McCathers. ***********

I guess my capability for intense mental concentration and focus, coupled with the depth of my obsession helped trigger the beginning of it. Each night I would think of Cullen as I drifted off to sleep, going over in detail the fragments of him I had collected in my mind that day, cherishing the nape of his neck, the swell of his bicep, the revelation of his tongue darting out to moisten dry lips. I yearned for him and cast myself towards him with wild abandon in my head. And then one night a couple of weeks into the semester, I felt myself drift off to sleep as usual with thoughts of Cullen filling my head, like the proverbial visions of sugarplums, but instead of my consciousness slipping away until morning, it slipped sideways instead and I found myself hovering just off the floor next to Cullen's sleeping body. I looked across the room towards my bed, if what I did can be called looking, seeing as I was a bodiless consciousness, and I saw my own body just where I would have expected to see it, lying and breathing gently in slumber. I was surprisingly unconcerned with what was undoubtedly a highly unusual occurrence. Instead, I was fascinated by what was happening and started to examine my disembodied self. I seemed to perceive some sort of silvery cord leading back to my body, and a scrap of information surfaced from my endless eclectic reading over the years. Astral projection. This is what this was. I had written it off as new age crap, but here was proof to me that not only was it not crap, but I had somehow managed to achieve it. I turned back to look at Cullen and saw the same silvery cord stretching out of his body and out through the wall, anchoring his dream self to his physical self as he journeyed through the night. The instant I realized this, my thoughts became action, and I flew out of the room through the wall, following Cullen's silvery cord.

The world blurred by dissolving into formless colors, before brightening and resolving into a daytime city street. Cullen was there, arguing with a police officer, a clown, and a talking cartoon goldfish in a bowl hovering in mid-air. Cullen was dreaming, and I was in his dream. I sensed some sort of change in myself and looked down to see that I had a body again. I walked towards the arguing quartet, but as I did the police officer flew up into the air, the clown popped like a balloon, and the goldfish in the bowl turned into a demonic cheerleader who began to chase a suddenly terrified Cullen down the sidewalk towards me. I was enraged that anything would dare to try and hurt Cullen, so I grabbed a parking meter out of the sidewalk and stabbed the cheerleader through the chest with it. She dropped to the ground instantly and vanished. "Oh, man! I thought I was dead for sure! You saved my life! Thank you!" said Cullen and hugged me tight. I went rigid in shock. Cullen had spoken to me, and for the first time it had actually registered as words instead of meaningless gibberish. Cullen had touched me. Cullen had hugged me! For the briefest of moments Cullen's dream world had become real to me, and the combination of his speaking to me, touching me, and hugging me threw me into such turmoil that between one instant and the next I was suddenly waking up in my bed in my darkened dorm room, gasping for air and shaking in reaction. I was obsessed with Cullen McCathers. ***********

To say that my obsession with Cullen deepened from that point on would be a gross understatement. Now that I knew I could spend all of my sleeping time with Cullen, I began to do so on a regular basis. He had starred in my dreams and now I began to star in his, sleep-stalking him every night. In his dreams, I found I could actually talk with him in a way that I was completely unable to in the waking world. Admittedly, most of the conversations were variations of his thanking me for one rescue or another since I became his dream protector and hero, saving him from countless monsters, demons, witches, aliens, and bad guys who were gunning for him because someone had framed him for a murder he didn't commit. After that first dream hug, I did everything I could to initiate physical contact between us during our nightly escapades, an arm casually draped over his shoulder, a hand gently tousling his hair, countless little touches, smiles, looks into his eyes. In the waking world, he grew more open and friendly towards me, looking at me more, smiling at me more, continuing to try and engage me in conversation despite the fact that I continued to blank it all out and watch our interactions as an observer, rather than as the active participant I was when we dreamed together.

It also dawned on me that there was a sexual tension between us that hadn't existed before. I was still jacking off to mental images of him every chance I got, but I realized he was spending more and more time wearing less and less when we were alone together in our room. He had never been shy about displaying his body, but as the days went by he went from t-shirts to muscle shirts to tank tops to bare torso, and from sweats to shorts to briefs to nothing at all. I exerted every ounce of my self control to not stare at the obvious things and be as casual and nonchalant about it as he seemed to be. The weeks passed, and the days grew shorter as fall progressed towards winter. I welcomed the turning of the seasons, because longer nights meant more time to sleep and dream with Cullen. Things might have continued on this way, but one evening in early November I went to sleep and slid sideways out of my body to find I wasn't alone in the room. There was another presence like myself, hovering just off the floor next to my bed as I was hovering next to Cullen's. It was another waking dreamer, I knew, and as I looked more closely I realized its silvery cord led straight to Cullen's sleeping body!

"Now it all makes sense," came Cullen's voice in my mind. "This is what you do. This is how you're always in my dreams." "Yes," I replied. "It happened first spontaneously, but it quickly became directed. I'm sorry. I can't seem to help myself where you're concerned." "You love me, don't you?" he asked. "Yes," I admitted sadly, thinking that this was probably going to be some sort of ending. "I've been obsessed with you from the first day. Love followed quickly once I started to get to know you through your dreams. I can't seem to talk to you when I'm awake. I think the reality of you is too much for me to take after a lifetime of isolation, but all I want is to be with you, in all ways, always and forever, to love and protect you, to be one with you. I'm sorry." "Why are you sorry? Can't you tell I feel the same way? Ever since you invaded my dreams and started saving me, I've become obsessed with you too. I go to sleep each night, knowing that you'll be there to keep me safe, even though you can't say so during the day. I could tell the feeling was there somehow, that we were connected on a deeper level. I've been longing to meet you on that deeper level, and now, suddenly, here we are." "You love me too?" I asked incredulously. "Yes," he said simply, and even though he had no body at the moment to express it, I felt the warmth of his smile on me anyway. I moved towards his warmth, and he moved towards me. We met in the center of our dorm room, still hovering just off the floor, and with no transition our bodiless bodies merged into a single being with two silvery tethers anchored at opposite sides of the room. There are no words to describe the unity we experienced in that moment. Pile every description imaginable of physical and emotional intimacy on top of each other, squeeze them all together, multiply all of that by any impossibly large number you can think of, then magnify it all again by an equally impossibly large number and you still won't approach it. Neither of us were prepared for it, and like the first time Cullen had hugged me, I found myself suddenly abruptly awake in my body in my bed. The only difference was that this time, Cullen was awake too. He launched himself, naked and erect, out of his bed and across the room to mine. I had thrown my blanket off, and his beautiful bare body landed on top of me, his mouth seeking mine to devour me. His gigantic cock leaked onto my stomach as he ground his crotch into mine, only my briefs separating us. He moaned his frustration into my mouth as we kissed, then he sat up and back, reached down, grabbed the opening in the front of my briefs, and with a grunt, ripped them open and yanked the remains out from under me, leaving me as naked as he was.

He laid himself fully down on top of me again and our legs intertwined. He kissed me again, and we were touching all along the length of our bodies, from feet to crotch to mouth. His cock ground down into me and my hips pushed myself in turn up into him, trying to somehow physically force our bodies to merge as our essences had in the moment before we awoke. Given our frenzy, we didn't last very long, and we shot together allowing at least part of our physical selves to merge into one as we mixed our cum together between our heaving bodies. As amazing as the orgasm had been, as amazing as it was that I now knew this beautiful body on top of me held a soul that loved me in a way that I had never felt before, my eyes started to fill and tears began to drip down my cheeks with sadness, because I knew that I would never be able to experience in the waking world the unity we had shared as we slept. I looked up at Cullen, and saw tears to mirror my own. I was with Cullen McCathers. ***********

I'm not entirely sure how we got through the next few weeks. We somehow got through classes and kept up some semblance of normalcy during the day, but it all seemed remote and unreal, because at night we left our bodies behind and merged together until dawn. After a while, it became harder to determine where I ended and he began. Our body language, speech patterns, and ways of thinking became similar to the point that at times it felt like we were one person living in two bodies. Thanksgiving approached, and with it the inevitable family obligations. We had become so detached from life outside school and each other that it was almost a surprise when it was time to part and we realized we should have made plans to avoid the separation. There was no help for it, though, so off we both dutifully went, to our individual destinations. Wednesday night was misery. I was back in the place I had grown up, that I hated and that hated me. I went to bed early, eager to experience the all-consuming love that I had discovered with Cullen, only to discover that I was unable to reach him fully. We had a vague sense of each other across the distance, but we couldn't seem to connect. I spent the night lonely and aching in my heart. Thursday was just as bad, spending Thanksgiving Day with my perpetually distant parents. It made no sense to me that they would want me here today after years of not really caring whether I was around or not. I had someone now who wanted me and I wasn't with him. The night was another one of yearning and a futile struggle to connect with Cullen in our dreams. Friday the separation became actual pain. My head hurt, my heart hurt, my body and soul ached to be with Cullen. I begged off the Black Friday shopping trip, knowing I would not be able to bear the long drive to the nearest town that was large enough to have decent places to pointlessly spend money on meaningless gifts. My parents drove off and I went back to my old room and flopped on the bed. After the last two frustrating nights I was feeling defeated and depressed, and I began to resign myself to not being with Cullen again until Sunday. I eventually felt myself drifting off to sleep, only this time, for the first time in months, I actually slept and dreamed. Except it wasn't a dream, it was a horrific nightmare, the details of which I didn't remember upon my panicked awakening except for the sensations of terror and profound loss. I curled up on my side, hugged my pillow, and sobbed uncontrollably at the feeling that if I didn't do something drastic, I would somehow lose the connection Cullen and I had found. I couldn't let it slip away, to become just me again instead of the unity of us. I had slept longer than I had expected to and it was already late afternoon. Knowing my mom, my parents wouldn't be back from the shopping frenzy until late so I had hours left to be undisturbed. Dropping off to sleep had almost become second nature to me, so it was easy for me to roll over and take back control of my unconsciousness. One thought was uppermost in my mind. I had to reach Cullen, no matter what. My eyes closed, my breathing deepened, and unlike earlier in the day, I slipped sideways out of my body as I fell asleep. This time I had a new determination and started to fly across the miles to my obvious starting point in my search for Cullen – the room that we shared. I felt pulled tight across the distance from my body, but I held on to where I was through the familiarity of the location. Uncertain what to do next, I hovered once again in the place that was ours, where I could feel him all around me even without his being there. I knew my sense of time was distorted when I noticed it was dark outside. I had been here simply contemplating Cullen, and hours had drifted by without my realizing. I began to notice, too, that my sense of him was growing stronger rapidly. My excitement and longing for him grew with each passing moment until the door opened, and there he was. I could tell he was as angry and frustrated as I had been. I moved to surround him and comfort him, but he couldn't feel me there. He sat on his bed for a little, but his tension didn't seem to be allowing him to relax. He turned to his travel bag and pulled out a bottle of wine, opened it, and drank some straight from the bottle, then went and sat on *my* bed and put his face into my pillow, breathing in deeply through his nose. He hugged the pillow to his chest and a tear dripped down his cheek. After a bit, he got up, tossed my pillow back on my bed, grabbed the bottle and headed out the door. I followed wondering where he was going. His goal turned out to be the top floor lounge at the back of the dorm, where very few people bothered to go. It was deserted, since it was the Friday evening after Thanksgiving. Cullen drank some more wine and gradually seemed to relax. By the time the bottle was empty, he had propped himself up across a couple of chairs and was staring blankly at the wall. Bit by bit his eyes closed, and then there he was, slipping sideways out of his body to join me. "You're here!" he said with surprise. "I've been waiting for you. I pushed and pushed to get here across the distance. I wasn't sure where I was going to go from here. The distance is difficult, but you came back, and you're here, and now we can be together again." And just like that we were. We were one again and our joy was endless. The unity of ourselves into a single being was a miracle, and all the sweeter for having been denied it the last two days. The only things that marred our joining were the silvery cords heading off to different places, Cullen's to his body in the chairs just next to us, and mine to my far away self. We were one. We needed to be one. All other parts of us were one. The cords needed to be one too. We were tugging on my silvery cord in an attempt to push it into his, when suddenly there was a sensation of severing, and an unattached tendril reeled in from a distance, flailed around as if seeking purchase, then laid itself down over Cullen's cord and into his body. ***********

We awoke with a start, disoriented from being in an unaccustomed place, uncomfortable from having fallen asleep on the chairs, and still drunk from the wine. We felt such an overwhelming feeling of happiness and well-being that we wished we could tell someone, but we knew no one would ever really understand. As I stumbled back to my room, I knew that the other bed would be remaining empty, but that was ok. I was with my love and I was within my love. We were one person forever. I was one person with no further need for two bodies. I undressed for bed and looked down at my body as usual and for the first time, happy with what I saw. I was masculine and strong in my body. I was loved and protected in my soul. I was Cullen McCathers.

Source: “Collan's Caption This Catch Up (10th May)”

[walker-journal]

Hottest people in White Crest?

Dude, you’re made of thought, what could that question even mean to you? You don’t have glands or any way to feel sexual attraction. Are you just trying to drive me stir crazy through horniness so I’ll run outside these defenses. Or are you legit serious?

Like if I described Penelope, her litheness, how I want to run my hands along the gentle slope of her hips, what does that even mean to you? What if I made it more complicated, like the fact that she can handle herself adds to that desire, how its a nice change flirt with someone I’ll won’t have to protect when shit goes down? But despite knowing she’s more powerful then ill ever be, I still kinna worry about her anyway sometimes?

Bone structure, the tension between unequal power in relations between people? You're a fucking ghost octopus.

Would it do any good If I tried to describe why Blanche makes concentrating on Math so hard. You have no slender shoulders that the lead the eyes down, down and down, until algebra is the farthest thing from a guys thoughts. Do you even know why girls that’ll look me in eye and not just yield to whatever I want can be arousing in a way I’m not used to?

Yeah I know, that’s not what my dreams probably say. But humans are an ugly awkward mix of both meat and spirit, so we’re good at wanting opposing things at the same time.

Can a being who technically never physically moves really appreciate kicking a ball around with Shiloh, admiring the way she moves and legwork in way that's not uh, conducive to actually winning the skirmish? Could a figment of thought relate to the whole process of disappointment and acceptance that comes after learning she’ll never desire me back?

You gotta understand, that doesn’t make her less beautiful in the human sense. Not having the proper brain/gland make up to physically want Ricky or Winn doesn’t make their ridiculous sweaty-muscle-beach-nuke  level of man-studness any less obvious. Just like the fact that Lucas and Orion seem too shy to properly leverage all the higher-brow-then-Adam vintage sex appeal, doesn’t mean it isn’t there.

It’s an male monkey acknowledgment thing, if that helps you at all dream squid. Like Noah’s fucking Hawaiian gorgeous which is why him talking about girls that I also have an interest in, brings on jealous murder-rage during boxing. That Kaden is some kind of Beastmaserr-Highlander man-slice is legit annoying. Though the knowing that Alain’s deep daddy-pool eyes probably cause all the soccer-moms at patronizing the garage to whisper “Grease me too!” isn’t as threatening. Its a context thing.

Asher is like some dangerous genetic experiment that combined James Bond with John Wayne, i’ve just accepted I can’t match that level of testosterone fusion reaction.

And yeah, Kaden’s disapproving cock-blockery only makes Regan more attractive. Not that she needed it. I can’t really explain to a spirit-vampire-thing why a deeply professional lady that's quadratically smarter then me would accentuate being the hottest doctor in existence.

Yeah want to be a role model to Athena but like, dayum, seeing the sorority lioness makes me want tother less exemplary things. The fact that she’s also a badass is also a big big plus in the bull moose throughts department. Also being freakishly strong as I am and having to be very …very…careful in certain intimate scenarios with ladies, someone like as strong as me that has Two X chromosomes, definitely a draw.

I know a creature like you can’t imagine “the talk” in teenage years with my ex-marine dad clearing his throat awkwardly and leading with like “So uh, your’re ripping doors off hinges, pulverizing phones while typing to fast, growing hair in weird places, and are probably figuring out that thing between you legs ain't just for watering the grass….sooooo…lets talk about how guys like us can be with a woman without breaking all her bones.

Thats one blessing of being a bodiless spirit, never having to hear your Dad say that. You are very very lucky Dream-eye.

Also uh an ignore all those dreams about the drop-dead gorgeous Beatrice, her sister, and me in a hot tub. Um, I probably need to like, talk to  a Rabbi about those.