#(sfx: giggle) HELLO???????????

[2129888]

higuchi sensei was commanding me to die when she drew these panels basically

[wisteriainslumber]

twst characters in a haunted house

its a short headcanon this time but its spooky season yayaayyayay!

warnings: cussing 👍 

Ace

talks a big game saying hes not scared, gets the daylights scared out of him, then goes back to talking a big game

he likes to tease his friends by abruptly grabbing them to scare them, but only teases yuu by saying 'if you're scared, you can hold onto me~' because hes a massive loser with a crush

you wouldn't even notice it but if you look closely his hands are shaking and he keeps looking around the room

arguably hes one of the most terrified one in the room so our unbothered king, yuu, just stands by his side out of sympathy

Deuce

close to tears and his last resort was complimenting a zombie's sfx makeup in hopes the Seven are on his side

probably looked like he was going to piss himself so the zombie 'helped' them out by chasing them until they stopped running in circles like headless chickens

flight or fight instinct goes haywire

it's either 'no means no!' or 'chase me i dare you!' and it solely depends on whether or not there are people in his group more afraid than him

because he will absolutely protect his loved ones awww

Jack

designated 'protector' of the first years (?)

its mostly self proclaimed but he is actually the most scared of the bunch

his ears pick up on EVERY little thing so he hears screams from all the other groups in the house

and that is unnerving!!

hes got a pretty good poker face but his ears and tail are standing up on end. and his tail is REALLY fluffed in agitation

height disadvantage. many dangly things getting caught in his hair and ears and tail. if he runs too fast and forgets to bend down, he's getting his head hit.

grim clung onto jack's tail after a bad scare and since then, has been jack's accessory

Epel

lost a bet and now he has to hold ace's hand throughout the house (let's be honest, this is for the safety of everyone else. its only the fight instinct for our poison apple)

sings random pop songs with ace for him to feel less scared because 1. epel likes his friends and 2. this is the only time he's allowed to be off-key for giggles

loves karma. when ace tries to scare him, epel will simply let go and carry on without ace until he apologizes

everyone and he means EVERYONE can catch these fists

'these arent screams these are battle cries'

creates new profanity out of freight. but he's always at the front of the group (so brave)

Ortho

literally taking notes throughout the haunt

intrigued, kinda wants to recreate it in a VR so his friends can experience it again

except when he does recreate it is literally SO much worse in terms of horror level

because he really does make it feel like the hunger games. its not even a game of survival its a battle of attrition

it gives everyone such a freight

but thats the point isnt it? he just found parts that could be improved on

like, the actors should be given chainsaws so the run for your life can feel more exhilarating!

and the rest of the doors should be removed so the players can use their problem solving skills to get to the one remaining door!

it does not get very popular sjdfjkgihuoij

Sebek

unbelievable that he cannot bring his baton but whatever

putting his life on the line to defend his friends

not because he cares, smh, he could live without their company! but fewer students in NRC would mean that lord malleus couldn't get the true school experience!

big brain moment (advice from lilia) he wore a scary costume in hopes that he scares the actors off before they scare him (he uses the cape to evade)

his body is on auto pilot and he knows what to do, but if you look at his face for too long, this dude is pissing himself silly

he did have a brave moment, though. he said a polite 'hello' to a vampire before demanding them to stop screaming so he could concentrate. slayed

Yuu & Grim

LMAOOOOOO scared?? *them*??? after all they've seen?

literally so unphased

in fact, since they live with ghosts in ramshackle, they might slink off somewhere and reappear alongside the actors to scare their friends

grim pees himself but denies it

in fact grim is like the first one to notice that yuu was not by his side

by the time they make it out of the house, they know all the actors by name???

yuu likes to offer bits of their hair as sacrifice if the actors leave them alone (sometimes they even offer grims fur)

the actors all look so sad to see yuu go??? favourtism smh

you know damn well yuu's getting a job offer for the house here. they'll even invite the rest of their friends to dress up and set them loose upon the haunted manor

Riddle

i would love to say he gets his brain rattled from fear but that is so not true

a childhood of seeing various floating, seemingly severed, limbs thanks to a certain che'nya has rewired his freight system

'its not scary because i know we're in a simulated situation. the actors are fake, the props are fake, the-' you get the jist

startled when something jumps in front of his face and gets mad when his group laughs at him

the actors are kinda scared of *him* because they interrupted him while he was in the middle of a long explanation and that was very rude!!! >:( come back after he's finished, thank you!

Ruggie

RUN LIKE THE WIND

he compliments all the props in the midst of the scare and chaos, who would notice something missing, fr?

a masked murderer would be crawling out of the closet and ruggie would casually ask them about the material the spoons were made of

his strength comes in when he's accidentally(?) sacrificing riddle to the haunters so he'll live

halfassingly playing smash or pass with jade aka jade says smash to everyone and ruggie questions the logistics of his every choice

accidentally remarks how the smell reminded him of his home growing up and doesnt that open a can of worms

Azul

joins ruggie in asking about the material of the spoons, except he's weirdly enthusiastic about it

also takes notes on the atmosphere and decorations

cant take the scare, his brain fizzles out and his muscle memory shakes the hands of the haunters (introducing himself was entirely intentional, however)

biggest loser in terms of he tries to huddle up to EVERYONE for 'safety' purposes. buddy-buddy system duhh

(he's the first to hide under a chair)

Jade

mean girl who flashes her teeth at people then covers his mouth acting like he didnt expose that he could tear out anyones jugular without struggle (he is holding back a coughing fit from the dust)

having such a calm, serene smile the entire time

its as if hes taking a casual stroll

'oh hello there. mind if i borrow this? thanks.' and steals the prop axe from the actors

whether he chooses to chase them back or not solely depends on his whims that day but he becomes a bigger menace because hes smiling with sharp teeth AND holding an axe

Floyd

screams back at the scare actors just Because

doesnt actually register theyre trying to scare them with their screams 'cause?? lmao thats not how u scare people let him teach you-

likes to lurk in the dim lighting to scare other patrons like if he was the one on the job and not paying for the experience

likes to drag out every single actor when riddle's speaking and egg him to behead them all

evil friend who hums in the dark just to get on your nerves

Kalim

screams, then laughs like a good sport about it. you got him good!!

trick or treating is everywhere and this haunted manor is full of tricks! do they get candy after though?

he tries his best to link arms with the actors and chat with them, even if he receives groans and scripted threats in response

he invites the entire cast over to Asim palace because he thinks his siblings would like to experience it (awww)

never worry about losing kalim in the house because he's belled like a cat, so just listen for the jingles of his movement

Jamil

is there really anything scarier than being alive to this guy

he really doesn't appreciate the cobwebs strung up everywhere

nor does he appreciate the sensation of anything brushing on his skin because it makes him feel itchy

the only time theres a reaction from him is if fake blood gets on his own or kalim's clothes because bitch. he will be the one cleaning that so you better fucking not.

the responsible one that keeps azul's glasses safe. not because azul hands them over himself but because silver asked him to (something along the lines of jamil being the kind of person that would ensure personal belongings stay safe or some other ego boosting shit. yeah, it worked slightly, what of it?)

Silver

desensitized to horror

the only time he appreciates the halloweens spent in childhood wetting his bed because of lilia's (psychologically harmful) pranks

if lilia's scares were a 10, this haunted house is like a 3

he proclaims himself as azul's bodyguard and always seeks his hand out so azul can feel a bit safer to go on

silver will also be the first one to locate the emergency exits as well as accompany anyone who needs to tap out (we dont deserve him <3)

Trey

same as riddle except hes even more unphased

in the same year as che'nya and they were together for much more and much longer

and they go beyond just his floating limbs, because he made half of trey disappear into, well, somewhere

che'nya complained about not being able to find his left pinky finger for WEEKS

he accepts like one, maybe two people clinging onto him but more than that and hes kindly telling you to suck it up bc its getting inconvenient to move

sorry 🤷 uh, exposure therapy ig

Cater

managed to sneak his phone in even though no phones were allowed just to film everything

he used a flashlight and still managed to hide his phone (he's able to outrun them, but his screaming instantly puts a beacon on him)

screaming for the life of him but he will never ever EVER forget to do a peace sign for the cams

will constantly ask how the actors managed to make the makeup so realistic and starts handing out friendship bracelets (he made too many with kalim one time with no one to give them to)

those clips of people getting chased in haunted houses then going to hug them is so cater-core (enforcing reverse psychology)

Leona

also pretends he's not affected and sells it very well

he reminds himself that these are props and stuff

he can see much more in the dark, but if you pay attention during a scare, you'd see a visible shiver go up his tail

its gone as soon as you blink though

regularly has a RBF and glares at the actors as if they've wronged him somehow

also an evil friend that will sacrifice you to the scare actors but more than that, he will sacrifice your children and tease them (waving bye bye with a smile and walking away). if only it scared cheka more and not make him laugh and declare he'll protect unca

Vil

plays along because its good to respect the work the actors and staff put into making this experience

still he thinks the sfx blood on the walls couldve benefited from a bit more time assembling

shamefully and accidentally cusses loudly in a moment of freight and apologizes profusely to the actor

taunting leona & telling the haunters to search for him bc he tripped and his ring accidentally snagged vil's hair (petty)

only time vil screams is when he misses a step and thought he was gonna go tumbling. idia laughed at him.

Rook

he chases the actors back

he's all giggly about it too

when hes run out of actors to chase after, he'll start nominating one member of their group to be hunted for sport

another one of the dresses up squad, except he uses it to camouflage himself with the actors

touches everything like this is just a fun little stroll for him

him and trey are having a casual conversation trying to guess the era this ancient candelabra originated from and the background noise is provided by idia sobbing and crying for dear life (leona is trying to sacrifice him)

Idia

somehow both bragging about how fake everything is whilst also cowering behind malleus and screaming the loudest out of the third years

says whatever comes to mind in a panic. no one knows wtf idias aim is. everyone is confused. the art of misdirection, everyone

god forbid he sees a ghost because he freezes out of pure instinct and you'll have to drag or carry him if you need him to move (rip ghost marriage idia)

makes fun of the buff monster costumes because LOLOL LMAOAOA you think thats supposed to scare him??? try harder

no survivial instinct. doesnt run. at all. if he's scared, he's giving up, this is his grave.

Malleus

doesn't get the concept at all

and not in the 'what is so scary about this place' way its more of a 'but the architecture is so magnificent, a little tweaks can get it restored to its former glory'

straight up snatches the floating ghost doll not knowing (or caring..???) that it was decor and rocks it throughout the entire house. does he think its unjustly cursed or does it remind him of silver? who knows

he really likes the aesthetic of the haunted house and everyone that tries to scare *him* are immediately in his good graces. he laughs all evil-like too and scares everyone but dw he's having fun i promise

normal people fall to the floor in haunted houses

malleus falls in love *ew*

Lilia

not that idia needed more reasons to be frightened but lilia fans the fire

shares a rumour about a clown doll that got abandoned so now it hunts people in retribution and of course there's an actor dressed like a killer clown there yk

throwing some bs about how 'oh no, i hope theres not a tall, scary, killer after us with an axe' and when said killer shows up, lilia starts screaming and pulling horrific scary faces at them (the staff leave him tf alone after this interaction)

and if hes feeling particularly mean he'll slink off into the shadows to reappear like a little jumpscare (cmon lilia, you're gonna have to do idias laundry now)

also chills on the ceiling after a chaotic run-in just to give his group some panic when they lose lilia (minus vil & leona, they know better than to worry about lilia's well-being— he's been adjusting too well here)

[lowkeyrobin]

Hello! I would like to please request a MCYT preference (Quackity, Tommy, Ranboo, Karl, Tubbo, Badlinu) dating a SO who is an SFX makeup artist. Specifically does the monster and gore makeup

I just think it'll be funny if SO applies something either monster or gory and scares their partner while they're doing a stream

ooo yeah sure! ; I don't know much about sfx makeup and stuff but I can try! ; thanks for requesting, hope you enjoy!

MCYT ; sfx artist

includes ; tommyinnit, ranboo, badlinu, quackity

warnings ; language

masterlist

TOMMYINNIT

you love scaring him on stream

you like practicing your skills while he's occupied with work

you like showing him as well

but sometimes scaring him is also really funny

"OHMYGOD- y/n wtf is wrong with you"

and you're giggling in the corner looking like the damn babadook

he thinks it's super cool but really weird

also uses you for little scare pranks cause why not

RANBOO

also thinks it's soooo sick

also uses your help a lot w the genloss process cause 🤗

but he loves helping you create whatever you're looking to do w you

lover bonding time ig

they often get scared by your sudden enterences in full fit tho

"fucking hello!" to "omg that looks awesome" in like 4 secs

absolutely loves the "weird ones" like monster-esk / non-human looks

FREDDIE BADLINU

admires the art you create more than the fact that you scare him with it 24/7

also likes learning how to do it too

he'll jump when he sees you in the viewfinder but will immediately start complementing you

"oh my gosh, that looks so cool!!"

will also happily take photos for you

and will make references to what you look like too

ALEX QUACKITY

"OHMYFUCKINGGODWHERESMYGUN" to "y/n wtf is wrong with you" within 30 seconds

he's half playing half serious

cause wtf are some of your creations 😭😭

he's getting you sent to an institution asap

he also likes learning about how it works but thinks color theory is boring and useless and has issues w sticky stuff

it's not for him but he looks like a monster already so it's fine /j don't take that srs

[stonyponyofficial]

5 and 14 for the music ask :3

hello anonynous here are ur music answers :3

5. ramble about a song.

okay ill hit shuffle until i get onei can talk about for a bit. okay WHEN THE EARTH DIES - Operation Sodasteal. been talking about these guys a lot recently. links to this post theres a little bass part at 0:27 when the "shes been hangin out with super rich campus kids" part comes on, like theyre just twiddlin around on the bass. anyway that is the soul of the song ur hearing its the most lowkey part of the song its just nightcore vocals, drums, and that bass but it sounds so warm -w- and it supports the vocals really well and leads into the guitars blaring in well too :3 also there are boings and dog barks and silly ytp noises in it, its awesome check em out if u ge tht echance, sound o

14. unpopular music opinion

oh noes! okay should i love something thats bad or hate something thats good hmmmm hmmmmm how to feel about things....... lets do loving bad thats usually more fun. ahhhhm i just listen to a lot of bullshit furry music (said affectionately ofc) like sodasteal who use like silly sfx and production stuff. makes me giggle but then the earnestness kicks in u know? scratches an itch as they say. and makes me do the dog leg shake thing when it scratches. probably not "unpopular" really just not a widely held opinion :3 ahmm okay byw

send more btw

[harveyhawkscripts]

[A4A] Christmas Lights with Mothperson Partner [Mothperson speaker] [Mini script] [12 Days of Scriptmas]

AN: Hello and welcome to Day 1 of the 12 Days of Scriptmas! I’ll be posting mini scripts from now to Christmas Eve (I decided to start a day early). I’m also trying a new format without (.) because they look kind of messy. Hope you like it!

Google Doc

Usage:

- Okay for monetization

- Please credit me as Harvey Hawk :)

- Tweaks, improv, and pronoun changes are okay! Just please do not rewrite the script completely.

Synopsis: The listener has a surprise for the speaker, a mothperson. The surprise is a train ride through Christmas light displays! For the mothperson, this is the perfect Christmas gift. 

Key:

[SFX and Action]

Break - Listener response

(...) Longer pause

(Voice instruction)

Word Count: 517

—

MOTHPERSON

(Muffled) Ah’m waw e-muff.

Sorry. My scarf was in the way. I said I’m warm enough.

I’ve got my hand warmers, fluffy coat, and wing covers. I think I’m sufficiently bundled.

Yes, I’m sure. You asked me all the way here, baby.

Hehe, it’s okay. I’ll let you know if I get cold, okay? I promise.

Wow, the park is so pretty in the winter! The sky is so clear you can see all the stars. Not like in the city…

So, now that we’re here, do I get to know what my surprise is?

Close my eyes? Ooh, okay. Lead on!

[Footsteps]

(Giggles) This is so exciting!

[Train whistle]

Wait, is that –

(Gasp) Oh my gosh! What a cute little train! Are we going on a ride?

Oh boy! Come on, come on, let’s go! I’ve got dibs on the window seat!

So, where are we going?

A Christmas light show?! Oh my gosh, really?!

My favorite part of Christmas is the lights! Oh baby, thank you so much! You’re the best partner ever.

[Train chugs]

Ooh, it’s starting. Here, hold my hand. I want to share this moment with you.

(Slow breath)

(Softly) Woah. So beautiful…

(Flattered) Hehe, oh stop it. You know I was talking about the lights. But y’know, as pretty as the lights are, you shine much brighter.

Hey, it’s Christmastime! I can be corny if I want; it comes with the season.

Babe, look at that display! It’s a waving polar bear! Hi, polar bear!

…Hey baby?

I think I might be getting just a little chilly. Can I share your blanket? I promise I won’t nibble on the edges this time.

Thank you!

Yeah, yeah, you told me I’d get cold. But now we get to snuggle up! And my fluff will help keep you warm, so it’s a win-win.

There, all cozy.

Look, rainbow lights! They look delicious!

Uh, yeah. Don’t you ever wonder what light tastes like?

Well, I do. I bet the red ones taste like spicy mint!

Woah, check out the pattern on that display! It’s like the lights are dancing. It’s almost… hmm… it’s almost hypnotic…

Huh? Oh, sorry. I spaced out.

Hey, you’re the one who took a moth to a light display show. You know how I get.

(Flustered) Adorable?! Well – I – I wouldn’t say –

[Kiss]

O-of course my antennae are twitching; you’re making me all flustered! Kissing me out of the blue like that. You know exactly what you’re doing.

It’s alright, I don’t mind the teasing too much if it’s from you. That just means I get to tease you back even more later.

Just wait. Once we get home, I’m going to make you all blushy and red!

Seriously, though. Thank you for taking me to see the lights. I’m having a spectacular time. Everything is so bright and colorful; it’s like I’m in a wonderland! And the best part is, you’re here with me.

Oh, there’s that blush. Looks like I didn’t have to wait until we got home.

Told you I’d tease you back.

[Kiss]

Happy holidays, baby.

END

[pilotheather]

- this unit. Money is insane what the fuck is happening her e

Ahi the vlinx you're my best friend now

WHY DID YOU LET HER TAKE THE SPIKE OFF IM

Everybody. You will get bigot disease.

HELP. 2YEN WERE THESE SPECIALS WRITTEN AGAIN

Stookie bill is crazy name

DONNA NEGOTIATING HER PAY IS SO GOOD

Classic i wonder how many people are gonna accuse this one of being too political when honestly this is about the level of all the others. Like yes it's very in your face but like whereas say orphan 55 was like shitty political commentary that was so disconnected and it www Oooooougj

NEILS FUCKING HILARIOUS IM gonna...

I 3ondered WHICH ONE OF YOU HAD ZE BALLS

It's governed by the rules of play

Does the toy maker like fortnite 💁

The pacing is so fucking FAST.... I'M NOT COMPLAINING BUT

Aye you silly sausage

I LVOE how Tennant and tate just fucking GO BATSHIT BANANAS WITH THE ACTING HELLOOOO

Maybe I'll save you GET HS ASS

WOULD YOU 2UIT GETTING LOCKED. EHIND DOORS IT'S MAKING ME SCARED

The one thing they'll do to Tennant is lock him behind a door

Hi uklm

THE GIGGLE

What the..... JMMMMMMMM

This FUCKING SFX HELPPPPPPPP HELPP IM GONNA PEE33EE3EEEEEE

HI

Eepy. creepy!

UM.

This is NOT VERY NICEEEE STOP IT

Stop ITAROP THAT'S SCARY

I'm sSTOOKY SUe

WHAT THE FUCK STOP THAT

The way SHE'S JUST FUCKING BEATING THAT DOLL IM GONNAapuk3

HELLO....

BILL REFERENCE PL3WQQASE33EE3EEE33 UM

Bill Bill. Bill Billllll hello BILL I LOVEEE YOU

He can't even...

UM.

SMILES SO BIG AND BEWUITUFLLY UGHHH I LOVE WHEN THEY REFERENCE PREVIOUS ERAS HAVE I EVER SAID I HATED HOW MUCH MOFFAT INSISTED ON LIKE NEVER REFERENCING OLD FOMPQNNNNNNNNN

UM

.........

CLASSIC MYSTERY BOX SHIT.

Cancel. culture. Is. The. Villain. 😊

Whys Neil Patrick h... Oh I mustn't say that

Best of TH WHY IS THAT SO FUNNY THEN LET'S. MAKE IT 2023

I'm already RUNNING HELP

Um

SPICE UP YOUR LIFE?

He said come on we can be gay together

Ghosting

TH

Did You just L

Now?????

NOW??????????????

Hi 2hwt the fuck HI 2HWT THE FUCK 2HWT

O 2hwt the

WHAT THE FUCK

They seem SO CALM TH

Is

Iw

HI CAN HE

Bring me my ncuti.......

Um.

UM........

BRO IS HE STUCK

2hwt the FUCK IS HAPPENING

Ooh my god it's real OH my god...

THE RUMOURS WERE UM TRUE.

Hello............. WHY DO THEY SEEM SO BESTIES I HAVE BI GENERATED

Hi ncuti he ncuti he's GORGEOUSSS HE IS WHAT THE FUCK BUT WHY DID HE DO THAT ARE WE GONNA GET ABT EXPLANATION.

Like are we

1HY ISNT HE WEARING PANTS FIFTEEN YOUR

The teeth kissing was subtitled Help

WHAT THE FUCK IS EVEN HAPPENING

Sorry SO NO COME ON PLEASE CAN WE...

OK sorry it 2as slay for now but can we undo the bigeneration thing can we sorry I just need.... th

LIKE IS HE JUST GONNA.....

LIKE I'M SORRY I JUST WANT THEM TO PUT TENNANT TO REST PLEASE FUCKING HELL

Ncuti why....

WHY ARE THEY SO BEST FRIENDS.... OK SHUT UP NEVERMIND KEEP HIM LET HIM KISS HIMSELF SO REAL

OK but now um

WHAT DO WE DO CAN WE P7T

HE'S GOT NO PANTS

Who picked th

THE CHEEK

FIFTEEN YOURE MY F7CJ8JT BEST FRIEND MY FUCKING BEST FRIENDDDEEEEEEEEEE

CAN WE

Just

Put

CAN HE JUST DIE L8I3 SORRY FOURTEN I JUST. I NEED TENNANT TO BE FUCKING PUT AWAY FOR ONE SECOND

FUCKING HELL

UM...............

He flies off Yeah he does

Sorry CAN WE JUST GET SOME FUCKING LIMELIGHT ON NCUTI THIS IS THE TENNANT PROBLEM FOR ME LIKE SORRY I 2ANT TO BE WITH MY NEW DOCTR

OK sorry the thing is i wouldn't even mind bigeneration as a crazy twist if we didn't have to have have Tennant as one like I JUST WANT 5O

Like PLEASE I LIKE HIM TOO BUT CAN WE JUST LET HIM GO

Help help hWLP

SO LIKE OK......

So like... OK 😭 I just I don't wanna be a hater in just. OK. I think I'm also just kind of worried that this is the wider whoineveerse thing and thees gonna be a fucking Tennant show now like CAN WE JUST......

OK. It's fine. If it's put aside I'm OK. We can go on. Please can 23 Hess

FINALLYYYY65 MY BEST FUCKING FRIEND

Hiii hiiii hiiiiiiii

[heymacy]

Macy Macy Macy, it is I, the one and only Howl at your service to bring you your Howl’s Question Friday questions!! @howlinchickhowl Please don’t look behind the curtai— stop what are you doing!!! Ok it’s Stas don’t expose me!!! Go back to the other side of the curtain!!

Happy Spooky Season!! 🎃👻🍂🧛 Do you have a favorite Halloween costume you’ve ever done? Have you and your wife ever done a couples costume? Do you plan on dressing up as anything this year? (shut up this is totally one question idk what you’re talking about)

When you worked at Starbucks, were there any drinks people would order that you hated? In other words, what are your Starbucks pet peeves from the perspective of a barista? (i.e. “Hi can I please get a latte with no foam?”)

If you could choose one song to play for every person in the world simultaneously like you had the AUX cord for the globe, what song would you play for us? 🌍 (Let’s pretend people have the option to mute it if it’s lyrically or sonically upsetting to them, so don’t stress that part.)

oh hello howl!! (*quietly* hello stas!) 👋🏼

first off, i love that it's becoming a thing now to refer to me as "macy, macy, macy" because in my head i hear 50% scolding and 50% proud-friend, so it's quite the experience for me. y'know, emotionally speaking 😌

1. happy fucking spooky season oh my god!! i've been waiting for this since our first 90 degree day back in...april? i literally live in hell. to answer your question(s): yes, i do! a few years ago, after like 15+ years of talking about doing it but never following through, my family dressed up as the cast of Hocus Pocus. my two sisters and i were the Sanderson sisters (people have always likened us to them during this time of the year, especially me as Winifred lmao), my brother was Billy, my parents were Billy and Thackery's headstones (their costumes needed to be minimal so they could efficiently play host and hostess at our halloween party lmao) and i made a cardboard replica of Winifred's book and made my wife wear it (our reasoning being that Winifred's one true love is her spell book). i even did SFX makeup on their face to match the costume, which they weren't too pleased with. that was my favorite costume of my own and of us as a couple. this year we're dressing up as Michael and Janet from The Good Place because after 8 years of incessant pleading, i've finally broken them, and now they actually enjoy halloween.

2. oh my god okay i might be going back to starbucks soon, i'm just waiting on a phone call to confirm it. but regardless, i could talk about this for literal years. don't get me wrong i actually genuinely love working at starbucks, because people who work at starbucks are literally amazing (i met like 80% of my current friends there). but the customers....the customers!!! the worst in the fucking world, and i've worked in every type of service job imaginable.

here are the dumbest fucking things you could possibly order/do at starbucks:

no foam/light foam cappuccino. a cappuccino is BY DEFINITION primarily foam. a light foam cappuccino is a latte. a no foam cappuccino is a no foam latte you fucking imbeciles. if you don't know what it is don't fucking order it goddammit and don't try to fight me on it either

anyone who blends the dried fruit into their drinks - i hope you choke on a nickel 😌

"absolutely no foam like literally not a drop of foam, i want straight up hot milk over liquified beans because i've never been told no in my entire life" get fucked get fucked get fucked

[car full of teenagers/college kids pulls up to the DT window] "hi! *giggles* oh my god shut up guys i'm trying to order! [laughter] hi! uh, i was -- SHUT UP! -- i was wondering if i could get -- SHH! [laughter] -- if i could get uh, four venti caramel ribbon crunch frapuccinos with extra, extra caramel?" i will curse your fucking bloodline not only are you wasting my fucking time FOUR FRAPUCCINOS? AND THE MOST COMPLICATED ONES? AND EXTRA //EXTRA// CARAMEL? please do not reproduce 😌

extra caramel is fine. extra extra caramel, alright i like you a little bit less. "caramel walls" i will stab you 🔪

if you ask for a pour-over during rush, choke. if you ask for a pour-over during rush of a type of coffee we already have brewed in the urns and ready to go because you "like a stronger brew", die.

also please note: none of the pet peeves apply if you're nice. if you're really, really nice, if we like you, it doesn't matter. if you're needy and picky, acknowledge it. make fun of yourself for it. apologize every time. we may not love you, but if you're nice to us, we'll like you. and we don't fuck with people we like, so, it's in everyone's best interests lmao (except the last one - go straight to hell you sick fuck)

oh one more thing THE SECRET MENU DOES NOT EXIST!!! IT DOES NOT EXIST!!! IT’S ALL MADE UP!!! I DON’T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT WHEN YOU ASK FOR AN “ARIANA GRANDE FRAPPUCCINO” I LITERALLY HATE YOU

alright now on to the angelic, godlike behaviors:

if you order an iced chai tea latte at any point in time but especially during a rush, i will kiss you on the mouth. (with consent, of course, and proof of vaccination. this is a plague after all)

if you leave a tip, even if you just toss your change in the tip jar, i will hug the fuck out of you. tips aren't great at most stores, but sometimes the $27 i got in tips for the week was what fed me, so it makes a difference

black coffee drinkers 😍 or coffee drinkers who put their own cream & sugar in their coffee at the condiment bar 😍 but especially, especially coffee drinkers who put their own cream & sugar in their coffee at the condiment bar and clean up after themselves, oh my god. angels. heaven-sent. i worship you.

if you say something like "hi! how are you?" or "what's up?" or "good morning!" when you order instead of just walking up and being like "can i get _____" i will fall in love with you.

3. Cotton Eye Joe, because i'm a slut for chaos.

this was fun, and it’s very on brand of me to get angry & emotional and not know when to shut up, hmm? howl & stas my beloveds i hope you’re both having amazing days 🥺🥰💛

[microcos-pod]

Micro-Cosmos S1E4: Looking Up Transcript

(The crew celebrates an afternoon of well-deserved downtime. Transcript begins below break.)

[sfx: forest ambiance, running footsteps]

FELIX BIIIIIIRD!

That... is nineteen! Almost... at... victory.

[sfx: running footsteps]

MILES That... was not... fair... you tripped me!

FELIX Did... not.

MILES Did too!

FELIX Did not!

MILES Totally did.

FELIX The point is mine, fair and square. You did not set eyes upon that bird, first, thus-

MILES Because you cheated!

FELIX What would you have me do, forfeit the point?

MILES Yes.

FELIX Well I'm not going to do that.

MILES I know. Ya lousy-

[sfx: a bird caws]

MILES BIRD!

FELIX Bird? Ah yes, Bird. Ah, damn. Bird.

MILES Haha, that's a nineteen-nineteen tie, next points the winner.

FELIX Yes. And that point belongs to me.

MILES Yeah, right. Tell you what, then. Let's have a wager. I'll even let you pick the terms.

FELIX Okay. The loser has to carry Athena's birthday present around in their bag for a week.

MILES Athena doesn't want to carry it?

FELIX No one wants to carry it, my friend.

MILES Fine! That's fine! It's not like I worked super hard on it or anything-

FELIX

Shh. I'm sensing... an avian presence.

[sfx: birdsong, running footsteps taking off]

FELIX ALLONS-Y!

[sfx: running footsteps taking off]

MILES WAIT UP!

FELIX Where... are... you...

[sfx: a whack]

[Felix yelps.]

MILES Ha! You-

[sfx: a similar whack]

MILES (CONT'D) AA! MY EYE!

***

[THEME MUSIC FADES IN]

ANNOUNCERFuturistic Trail Mix Productions presents Micro-Cosmos: A Science Fiction Podcast.

[THEME MUSIC FADES OUT]

***

[sfx: forest ambiance, running water, a click]

MILES Oww.

ATHENA This is-

MILES Owww.

ATHENA This is-

MILE OWWW!

ALEX Dude, just hold still. You took quite the fall out there.

ATHENA Athena Romero... recording. Hi. It's Day 28, and we're stationed at approximate position North 57 degrees West 105 degrees, still enroute to our equipment dropoff point and making good time at that. We've had to stop for a little, uh, first aid. Miles and Felix got hit in the face with a tree branch playing their new game. It's called Bird... I hate it.

FELIX Hey, Bird is- ow - Bird is fun!

ALEX Until the forest pokes your eye out along the way, Doc.

FELIX I'd call it an occupational hazard.

ATHENA Thankfully, Headquarters, no one actually lost an eye. By some miracle.

[C41′s BOOT-UP JINGLE PLAYS]

C41 Oh, the odds of them losing an eye aren't as high as you'd hope. I ran the calculations.

MILES Yeah? Let me check your math on that one.

C41 No.

ATHENA Anyways. We thought it'd be a good time to take a walking break. Maybe have some lunch.

[sfx: rummaging]

ALEX Aw, shoot. Looks like we're lacking in antibiotics to get this one on your knee cleaned up, Miles. Cal, any chance we're getting more of that with the shipment?

C41 I do have "additional first aid supplies" on the roster, Commander. So... probably!

ALEX I will take a "probably" for all that it's worth as far as HQ is concerned, kid. And hey, we're almost to the drop-off point. Speaking of which, Starshine, did you get the memo to them that we're ahead of schedule?

ATHENA Oh, uh, oh! Yeah, I did get the relay to them last night, and they came back with an acknowledgement. I think we're just going to have to wait it out though.

ALEX Aces. Cal, how much longer do we have on the walking?

C41 Eh, not much! About another...

[sfx: mechanical whirring]

C41 (CONT'D) Hour!

MILES An hour?

ALEX Hey, I like the sound of that.

FELIX Just think. All of that extra time to play Bird.

ATHENA And, sorry to ask, but, Bird is fun... because?

ALEX Because I think all this walking has made the doctor go a bit batty.

FELIX Perhaps. More like... bird-y. If you will.

[Miles groans.]

MILES You set him up for that one, you know- Ow!

ALEX Just a sanitising wipe. I know, I know, it stings. It's the best we're gonna do to keep it clean for now.

[C41 giggles.]

MILES What are you laughing at?

C41 Aw, nothing. Just like... you guys are so funny, with your 'physical pain' thing.

MILES Hilarious.

C41 Precisely my point.

MILES Well, somebody's chipper today.

C41 I am! It's almost time for me to get to like, actual work. As soon as we can set up camp at the rendezvous to make it our base? Watch me go, baby.

ALEX Wait a minute. You, Cal, are excited about doing work?

C41 Sure I am! I'm excited for work that's not super boring and lame and leaves me wanting to tie up my code in particularly pretty bows. Establishing our infrastructure, our inventory, our food sources, and oh, ooh! Getting started on actual research? They sour.I hope I just don't lose out on sleep.

MILES Yeah, sure. We wouldn't want that.

C41 And, and, Miles, while I'm busy doing important things, you can be off doing... whatever little tasks you're supposed to do.

MILES First of all, excuse you, I'm the engineering specialist too, not your friggin nanny, so like, I'm going to have plenty to do that is very important. And second of all, maybe I'll get to sleep instead of clacking away at fixing your code all night like a monkey at a typewriter, alright?

C41 Sure, sure. Now, are everyone's booboos in order? I'm sure Athena and Alex are getting antsy.

ATHENA Oh guys, no, it's fine. Take your time, we're not in a rush.

MILES No, you know what, my booboos- I mean my uh, my scrapes and stuff, are fantastic. Let's go.

FELIX But... I'm so weak.

MILES Nope. Up ya go.

C41 Something to prove, much?

ALEX You'll be fine Felix. Have some trail mix, and we'll be motoring, alright?

FELIX (chewing) Way ahead of you, sir.

ATHENA Alright. Off we go.

[sfx: a click]

***

[sfx: forest ambiance, a click]

ATHENA Recording from the drop-off point, at long last, this is Officer Athena Romero with Omnitarian Establishment Crew #0137-F. It's only been just over an hour since my last log, but we're here. We're here, and now we just have to camp out, and wait for the rest of our supplies. It'll be some downtime well-earned, I think.

ALEX I'd say so.

[sfx: walking footsteps, stopping, setting a bag down]

ATHENA Oh, hey Alex! Let me guess, the others are-

ALEX Competitive birdwatching? Yeah. I don't even think that they realise that that's what they've invented.

ATHENA Aw, jeez, even Cal? Or did you put them on babysitting duty?

ALEX Cal is... keeping score, apparently. Look, you didn't hear it from me, but sometimes I think that they miss Miles when I'm carrying their projector.

ATHENA Really?

ALEX Nah. They're babysitting.

[Athena laughs.]

ATHENA Well played, Commander.

ALEX Peace and quiet is probably one of the best sounds in the world. Second only to good conversation and blaring rock 'n' roll.

ATHENA Sounds like something I should write down.

[Alex laughs.]

ALEX Dude, no, I'm just rambling. And besides, you're recording this, aren't you?

ATHENA Yeah. I mean, I can turn it off, if you want.

ALEX It's fine with me. Kinda nice actually, to think we'll be able to look back on whatever it is we talked about on this mission when we're all old.

ATHENA I never thought about it like that. Guess I thought I was just doing my job.

ALEX Really?

ATHENA ... Yeah, why?

ALEX I don't know, I hear you every once in a while, when you're recording, and... you know how to talk. You a poet in your spare time, by chance?

[Athena laughs.]

ATHENA No, no, I'm... I don't know, I'm not anything in particular. I was corp security, for a while, and then I got into communications and chronicling protocol through that, and... yeah, that's me, if they didn't already tell you as part of the whole 'Commander' thing.beatI'm certainly not, uh, 'recogalex', though.

ALEX Okay, so you uh... know about that whole thing?

ATHENA 'Whole thing'? You mean when you were like... one of the biggest names in sporting sim gaming for years, plural? Yeah, I figured it out. Me and the others in the forces, we didn't really have anything else to keep up with, so we got very much into keeping up with those tournaments.

ALEX Alright, alright. Just thought I'd be able to keep my nerdiness a secret from my crew for a little while longer.

ATHENA Why bother? I mean, if I was as good as you at that stuff, I...realizing as she says itI never would've stopped.

ALEX I guess I just... the same as you. I thought of it as my job, after a while. It started as a way to help me cope with my anxiety, and then, I guess it turned out that I was good at it, and liked it. I liked it a lot.

But I got married, and then we were gonna have a kid, and-

ATHENA Wait, you're married?

ALEX I was. Me and Gabriel split up, a little while after our son, Orion, was born.

ATHENA Oh... that's too bad.

ALEX Oh, it's fine, really. Gabe's amazing, honestly, we both just... wanted different things out of life. It just wasn't working for us to be married anymore. Now we're friends. We're friends that used to be married, and friends that have a son that we love more than anything in the world. And I can't say I mind it, as long as I know they're both waiting for me back home.

ATHENA Wow. I mean, that sounds... that sounds like all you could hope for.

ALEX Yeah... yeah, I guess it is.

***

[sfx: forest ambiance]

MILES This is stupid. We haven't seen anything fly overhead since we got here.

FELIX Hey, hello, uh, you know the decree of the Game of Bird.

[C41′s BOOT UP JINGLE PLAYS]

C41 "They who question the sanctity of Bird will be disqualified from all future matches of Bird on the basis of disloyalty and heathendom," Miles.

FELIX And don't you forget it.

MILES I know, I know, for the millionth time, I know.

C41 Then don't go getting yourself disqualified.

MILES Hold on, was that... an encouragement?

C41 Of course not. I just like to see a good match-

MILES Okay, cause for a second there, it sorta sounded like a-

[sfx: bird caws]

FELIX BIRD! 

[sfx: a bell dinging cue]

C41 That's one point to the distinguished Couvillion gentleman.

MILES Please tell me you're not going to do that every time someone gets a point.

C41 Don't be silly! I'm not going to do it for you!

MILES Why do I even bother? It's not like-

C41 Shh. Eyes on the prize, er, sky. Whatever. Bird now, talk later.

MILES Fine.There's a long silence. 

[sfx: forest ambiance for a prolonged period]

[The three of them sigh at varying points.]

[sfx: bird song, a glitch, static]

FELIX Bir- rd?

MILES What are you talking about, there's nothing there!

C41 I mean, I'll still give you the point.

FELIX Sorry, sorry, I... eyes were playing a trick on me there.

[sfx: prolonged forest ambiance]

MILES Sooo... uh, this is getting boring fast.

C41 "They who question the sanctity of Bird-"

MILES Not what I meant! I just meant...

FELIX There does seem to be a disturbing lack of birds.

MILES Well... uh... we could play 'I Spy'.

FELIX No, no. We can't allow the shine to wear off that quickly.

[sfx: retrieving from a bag, clicks]

MILES I feel like binoculars are cheating.

FELIX Eh. Using available resources.

C41 Does it count as cheating if there aren't any birds to see?

MILES Okay, but if there were.

C41 But there aren't.

MILES Okay, but if one shows, he can like-

FELIX And it may not end up being worth the hypothetical, if our luck continues.

MILES Just making conversation.

[sfx: prolonged ambiance]

MILES So... how about this weather?

C41 Really?

MILES What? It's called small talk, ever heard of it?

C41 Sure I have. My sources tell me that it's nothing remarkable. In fact, that seems to be the whole point of it, yes?

MILES Well, I guess... not everything needs to seem 'remarkable' to be... worthwhile.

C41 Sure. Take yourself for example.

MILES You know what-

FELIX You know, I believe that might be a backhanded compliment, Officer Abbott.

C41 How dare you.

FELIX Meant nothing by it, my voltaic friend.

C41 Then you know what's good for you.

[Felix chuckles.]

MILES Yeah, right, tough guy.

C41 I'm sure I don't know what you mean. I can be intimidating, that is, when I'm not asleep in my-

FELIX Nest!

C41 What?

FELIX Nest. Up there, on your left, riiiight- There.The group's eyes land on a large nest in a nearby tree.

MILES You think there's any in there?

FELIX According to what I've learned, the season would be right for quite a few baby birds.

So, I mean, if there were... to be... lots of baby birds... I should probably get a closer look. For... research.

MILES And I could help with your research. I mean... I could help you count.

FELIX Oh, no, I mean that's uh...

It'll be quite the climb to get there, so I wouldn't ask you to-

MILES Pssh. What are friends for? You said earlier you weren't feeling so good, anyways, so like... I can go check on those birds. For science.

FELIX Oh, no, I feel fine, thank you. I think a climb might actually do me some-

MILES Here, you hold Cally. I'm climbing.

FELIX Good.

C41 Wait, what? Also, it's Cal.

MILES I'm gonna go see those birds.

[sfx: footsteps running off]

FELIX HEY! NOT FAIR.

You stay right here, Cal. I've got a tree to climb.

[sfx: footsteps running off]

C41 Well, it's not like I'm going anywhere- Wait, wait! Doctor Couvillion? Officer Abbott?! Felix? Miles? Oh, the Commander is going to be so mad at you!beat, meek...Guys?

[C41′s BOOT-DOWN JINGLE PLAYS]

***

[Alex and Athena laugh.]

ALEX No, no, you're kidding me. Stuck?

ATHENA Completely! Okay, okay, so you have to understand, Patroclus C? It's a freezing cold rock. A moon.

ALEX Nothing homey about it?

ATHENA No! No redeeming qualities! We used to call it the Snowball. So, so, so: there I am, and my sister is just screaming bloody murder with her tongue stuck to the side of the transport.

ALEX And did someone lose a tongue that day?

ATHENA Somehow, no! I had to run back to the house for hot water and leave her there, and I swear her tears were frozen to her cheeks by the time I got back and we managed to get her off the thing! God, it was awful. So the chilly mornings around here? They're nice.

ALEX And you've got the charming anecdotes to prove it, starshine.

Oh, is... is that okay? If I call you that? It's just... it came to me, and I thought it suited you. But if you don't like it-

ATHENA Oh! Oh, no, I... it's fine. I like it. It's sweet.

ALEX Okay. Okay, good.

I just figured, you know, it might... we're gonna be out here for a long time. I want to be friends with you guys, with... you. If that's what you... all want too.

ATHENA I think I'd like that, Alex. 

Can I ask you something?

ALEX Sure, if I can ask you something after.

ATHENA Oh?

ALEX Yeah, no, I had like... a question or whatever for you too, but you totally, uh, you go first.

ATHENA Okay. Sure. So, uh... here's the thing. How do you... how do you know how to find the course?

ALEX ... What?

ATHENA How do you know where we're going?

ALEX I thought you were military. They don't teach you the way-

ATHENA Not exactly. How do you know where we need to go?

ALEX Oh. Oh I... okay. I think I get it. Well, I... it started off as trial and error, right? Even when I was just picking up the patterns in my games, or anywhere else, I just would have to take what I saw and turn that inward into something I could say was the truth.

So when I had to start figuring out how pieces of the world and their patterns sorta... fit with other pieces of the world into a bigger conversation, it... I mean it wasn't easy. I don't even wanna say it was comfortable. But it was something I could be confident in, at least.

And, these days, if I don't feel confident in it... I mean, I don't feel confident in it all the time, that's actually what I should've led with. Because, like, how could I be? When things, patterns, don't add up sometimes, it feels like something is lying to me. But at least I've been doing this long enough, that I know that I don't have to trek back and learn the patterns from square one anymore. I can... take it in backwards steps.

I can seem like I'm confident in what needs to happen, and then maybe some part of me can take that little signal boost and make me feel confident. And then, if I feel confident, maybe I'll find the pattern I didn't know in the first place, and that'll feel enough like the truth to me. It'll be enough to get us by. To get me by.

But... that's just me. Sometimes I think everyone has a different way of listening for the truth, you know?

Is... is that what you were asking?

ATHENA Uh-huh. Your turn.

ALEX Okay, now, tell me the truth on this one, Romero: do you actually need to record all of those logs?

ATHENA I'm sorry?

ALEX Dude, do you have to actually do them, or is it just like your diary?

[Athena laughs.]

ATHENA Hey! What's that supposed to mean?

ALEX I mean, no judging-

ATHENA I'm the chronicler, sir, that's my job.

ALEX Alright, Officer, alright. I'll take your word for it. But if you ever wanna try out some new monologue material on something, or someone who isn't a comms, you know where to find me-

ATHENA Yeah, yeah, I'll keep that in-

[sfx: a tree branch breaking]

[Miles and Felix scream]

[sfx: a thud]

ATHENA (CONT'D) Mind. Should we be... running about this?

ALEX Running fast, Romero.

***

[sfx: forest ambiance, a campfire]

FELIX, MILES (in unison) Owwwwwww.

ALEX You two... are going... to be.. the death of me.

FELIX, MILES (in unison) Owwwwwwwwwwwww.

C41 Yeah, yeah 'ow'. Traitors.

ALEXHold still... for just a second.

FELIX Once more, with feeling?

MILES Sure. Why not?

FELIX, MILES (in unison) Owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.

ATHENA Officer Athena Romero recording. Still Day 28. Second first aid stop of the day. We had a tree incident. Or a gravity incident, involving a tree, I guess.

C41 You two are lucky you didn't break a leg. Or that I didn't get carried off by some dinosaur, leaving me there like that, Felix! How could you?

FELIX I... I... I'm sorry, I'm so weak-

ALEX Ah, save it, Couvillion. Not like you need your strength for much else. Speaking of which-

I'd like to propose a toast. To some time off, to finally making it to the rendezvous point where we await our booty, and to... I don't know, to no more falling out of trees, and no more backwards steps.

FELIX Here, here!

ATHENA Cheers!

MILES Cheers.

C41 Bon appetit.

ATHENA So, Cal, when can we expect for the shipment to get here?

C41 Oh, in about... three-

(distorted and ragged)

Four- three, three,- expect, no, three, seven, no, no, no expect, no, three, two, two- ERROR, retrieval denied, ERROR- ERROR, no, two three-

ATHENA Miles? Are they okay?

MILES Cally? Cal? What's wrong? Come on buddy, hello?

FELIX What is this?

MILES I don't know, they've never done this before, I-

[C41′s BOOT UP JINGLE PLAYS]

C41 Bon appetit! Sorry, you were saying? Oh, right, the shipment. Should be around three days.

MILES ... Cal? You... you okay? You weren't messing with your code again, were you?

C41 And if I was?

MILES Cal-

C41 Kidding, kidding. Joke, funny, haha. No, I wasn't, I swear. Probably just a brief malfunction, whatever it is you're talking about. I feel great!

MILES Okay. If... if you say so.

C41 But I am, like, suuuper tired, gee, I think I need some rest, okayeveryonegoodnightbutnotthetraitorswhoabandonedme! Kisses!

[C41′s BOOT DOWN JINGLE PLAYS]

ALEX I think that's the cue for everyone got some rest, huh? Sleep in tomorrow?

FELIX Oh, I'll drink to that.

ALEX Then let's go for lights out, booboo crew.

[sfx: retreating footsteps]

ALEX If you need to do a log, starshine, just make sure to put the fire out when you're finished, alright?

ATHENA Always do, Alex.

ALEX Yeah, you're right. You always do. Goodnight.

ATHENA

Goodnight.

[sfx: retreating footsteps]

ATHENA (CONT'D) You know, I... I don't even know if I have something I need to talk about tonight. I'm exhausted from the journey, and you already know all about that, HQ.

I don't know. Seems like trouble follows us wherever we go, but at least that's something to count on.

But like I said, I think I'm going to try something new tonight. I'm feeling inspired. Tonight, I'm just going to look up at the sky, and I think... I think I'm going to look for a pattern that feels true.

From Ophiuchus-22, this is Officer Romero, looking up, and signing off.

[sfx: bird song, a glitch]

***

ANNOUNCER Micro-Cosmos: A Science Fiction Podcast.

This episode, Looking Up, was written by Lauren Tucker, edited by Luka Miller, and directed by Jesse Smith, Zyrel Thompson and Lauren Tucker. It starred Jesse Smith as the voice of Athena Romero, Jackson Rossman as the voice of Miles Abbott, Luka Miller as the voice of Alex de la Cruz, Kaleb Piper as the voice of Felix Couvillion, and Pippa van Beek-Paterson as the voice of Cal. Original music by Julia Barnes, and sound editing by Tobias Friedman. Be sure to stay tuned to our feed for upcoming episodes from the new backpacking intergalactic adventure from Futuristic Trail Mix Productions. Enjoying the show, and want to give us a boost? You can support us by rating and reviewing us on iTunes, or wherever you get your podcasts, or telling a friend about us.

To follow the show and find transcripts, you can find us on Twitter, Tumblr, and Instagram as @MicroCosPod. Questions, comments, and concerns can be emailed to us via futuretrailmixpros@gmail.com. Thank you for listening.

[lorelexi]

Hello! Can I request a scenario for a movie night date with Shinsou? Like, he and his gf decide on a horror movie and while he’s 100% ready for her to be scared and cling to him it turns out she’s actually a huge fan of such movies and rather complains about plot holes or laughs at the effect? Would that be alright? Make it as fluffy and wholesome as possible please! Maybe with some smooches in between heuheu Thank you and have a wonderful day 💕

A/N: this took me so long anon I'm so sorry. I hope you see this and you like it tho 🥺 it's not as fluffy as I had hoped :(

Warnings: Horror movie stuff!! Mild description of scenes during the movie!! Mentions of blood!!

---

You know, when Shinsou had thought about your movie date tonight this is not exactly what he foresaw. You see, it was his turn to choose the movie that the two of you would be watching, and he thought he was being real slick when he chose a horror movie. He was thinking, he'd come over, present to you the movie, you'd watch it, and as the movie progressed you would become increasingly more frightened and cling to him for safety out of fear. And what's better than having you clinging onto him closely? Arguably- not much.

So needless to say he was admittedly a bit surprised at the current situation. Instead of you being fearful of the movie illuminated on your laptop screen, you were laughing.

"HAH those brains look like literal oatmeal bro." You winced with a smile at the cheesiness of the effects. "Like seriously who did the sfx for this movie? They just threw fake blood on everything and called it a day."

You continued to laugh at the screen while Shinsou watched you, wondering how he could have predicted your actions so wrong but simultaneously thanking the universe for giving him such a badass girlfriend.

"Oh yeah for sure" his voice was smooth as he snapped out of his trancelike state and wrapped an arm around your shoulder, pulling you flush to his side. "And what's the deal with the main character, it's almost like he WANTS to get caught."

You giggled and Shinsou lost it.

He gently took your chin between his thumb and forefinger, and tilted your head toward him.

You blinked at him a few times before he pressed his lips to yours.

Kisses with Shinsou were always good. Even small pecks and short kisses made your toes curl. For with each kiss from him, no mater how small or short, you could always feel the love and admiration that he held for you, seep through you.

He had been holding you in a breathtaking kiss for a few seconds when a very loud wail accompanied by a splatter echoed from your laptop. You pulled apart with a laugh and Shinsou rested his head in the crook of your neck. You shivered when he spoke.

"Doll, let's not watch a horror movie next time, it's a major mood killer"

Requests: Open

[smolboiseavey]

I Wanna Be Just Like You // Werewolf! Daniel Seavey x Reader

Summary: Daniel and Y/N have been dating for a couple months now and he decides to take her back to his family's pack in Seattle. After learning more about Daniel and the werewolf culture, Y/N gets frustrated because she can't seem to fit in.

I recommend you read Sugar, Spice and Everything Nice before reading this, but you don't have to read it to understand this one.

 Warnings: literally like not much lol just some angst, violence and werewolves. Maybe some cursing too.

 6,386 words (omg!!!)

Taglist: @gracenadinelimelight @softavery @katie-avery @seaveyssparkle @kvd963 @dagmara-mae @jennasgolden @helloatomicshadow @sfx-bands @only-stan-mendes @whydontwenorway

~~~

"How much longer until we get there?" You laid your head on the window, watching the scenery and snowflakes fly by as the car sped down the highway. Mountains lined the horizon, the sun casting brilliant orange and pink light behind them. You and Daniel were currently driving to his family's home town, making the 15 hour trip there on wheels.

Daniel let out a chuckle, one hand lazily resting on your thigh, his eyes trained on the road. "Maybe another half hour, love. We're almost there." He replied. You laced your fingers with his, smiling at him.

"So how do you like Oregon so far?"

"It's pretty." You say, turning back to the window. "Can we go for a hike sometime soon?"

"Definitely. Are you sure you'll be able to keep up with me, though?" He replied teasingly, making you scoff. "Just because I'm human doesn't mean I can't handle a little bit of exercise." He brought your intertwined hands up to his lips, planting a kiss on yours. "Sure you can." He chuckled, "Oh look! We're here."

Daniel turned to the left, driving into a small town. The buildings were very spread out, miles of forest behind them. Piles of snow lined the streets, a few people walking by here and there. The car came to a stop at a red light. "This is the town I grew up in." He said, breaking the silence. You smiled, looking through the windows at the location. "It's cozy." You replied as Daniel kept driving, the light now green. "God, it's been so long. You're gonna love it here, I promise."

You had just finished your current semester of school, so you were spending a month with Daniel in his home town for winter break. He drove down the road, houses looming in the distance. At the end of the path stood one house which towered over the others, brightness streaming out of all the windows. The sun was long gone, street lamps illuminated the pavement with soft yellow light. Daniel pulled up to said house, parking in the long driveway behind many other vehicles. "Ready?" He asked, his blue eyes bright with excitement and joy. You smiled, nodding in response. "As ready as I'll ever be."

"Well, come on now. Mom said to just come in, some servants will be out soon to take our stuff in." He said, taking his seat belt off.

"Servants?" You asked as you clicked the red button to your left, letting the polyester strap slide off of your body.

He nodded, confused at your confusion. "It's a normal thing? This is the pack house, where most of the leaders and their families live. So yeah, servants."

"Oh. So I'm guessing your family is..."

"My dad's the alpha." He said casually, opening the door.

Oh-

"T-that's cool." You stutter, getting out of the car and closing the door behind you.

Daniel started walking to the house, and you followed close behind. He waltzed right into the door, a wide grin on his face.

The house was very open, but cozy. To the left was the kitchen, where a few older ladies were bustling around cooking. To the right was a large staircase, spiraling up to the second floor. Children ran around the space, chasing each other through the halls. The soft hum of chatter and laughter filled the room. The room opened up ahead, couches positioned in a U-shape around a large flat screen TV. A few people sat there, deep in conversation. Large windows took the place of the back wall, revealing the midnight blue sky and silhouettes of the trees and mountains.

"I'm home!" Daniel announced loudly, smiling.

"Daniel?"

"Daniel!"

A swarm of people surrounded the two of you as you closed the heavy front door behind you. An older woman pulled him into a hug, planting a kiss on his cheek. "I missed you." She said, a smile tugging at her lips.

"I missed you too, mom."

"Did you bring a human with you?" A man asked suddenly, the room falling silent.

"Erm...yeah." Daniel grabbed your hand and pulled you closer to his body. "This is my mate, Y/N."

"Mate?"

"I thought his mate was that wolf he brought back last time. Charlotte, I think-"

"How did you know I'm human?" You asked.

The man chuckled, the deep sound filling the room. "Your scent, dear. It's quite easy to tell." His voice was stern, but his blue eyes were bright with amusement.

"Dad, stop teasing her!" Daniel groaned.

"Alright, alright. Come on everyone, let's give the couple some space." He said with a smile. The crowd slowly dispersed, only two people were left besides you and Daniel.

"It's nice to meet you, Y/N. Daniel has said many good things about you." Daniel's mom said with a smile.

"It's nice to meet you too, Mrs. Seavey." You replied, returning the smile.

"Please, call me Keri." She said, giving you a quick hug. "I'll be in the kitchen making dinner if you need me. You'll be staying in Daniel's old room, and all of your things should already be there."

"Thanks mom." He said as she walked off.

"Danny!" A small figure hurled at him, landing in his arms.

A tiny girl, no older than ten hugged his torso tight as he spun her around in circles. "Reese! You've gotten so big." He said with a laugh, holding her.

"I grew 3 inches!" She said to him, holding out three fingers. "I even changed into my wolf yesterday!"

"Oh really? Congrats!"

You smiled at the sight of Daniel and Reese, stepping back to give them space.

"Who's that?" She asked, pointing at you.

"That's my mate, Y/N."

She stuck her tongue out at you and turned back to him. "Why is she human?"

"What do you mean?"

"Why isn't she a wolf too?"

"She's just...a little different."

"Oh."

Well, isn't that reassuring.

"Mhm. She's like Aunt Keri."

Reese nodded thoughtfully, her face contorting into a serious expression. "Interesting."

Daniel chuckled, setting her back down on her feet. "Why don't you go play with Isla and Svea? Y/N and I still need to unpack."

"You're staying?" She asked excitedly, her eyes lighting up.

"Yep! For a whole month."

"Yay! Come play with us when you're done, okay?"

"I will, Reese. Now come on, they're probably waiting for you."

"Bye Danny!" She ran off with a smile on her face.

Daniel is so good with kids.

You couldn't keep the smile off of your face as you watched him usher her away.

He sighed, turning back towards you. "What?"

"What? Oh- nothing." You reply, your cheeks red with embarrassment.

"I know that look, Y/N." He said as you followed him up the stairs.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Oh, come on Y/N. Don't deny it. What were you thinking about?" He pressed as you walked up to the third floor and down the hall. He walked past the rows of doors and windows before stopping in front of a door at the end of the corridor. He grasped the gold handle in his right hand, pushing the door open with ease. "I was just thinking." You replied as you walked in close behind him.

"Ah, exactly the way I left it." The spacious room was painted blue, a city skyline painted on one wall. A large bed was pushed to one side, a desk to the other. Two large windows let in some moonlight, illuminating the room with pale light. By the desk were rows of instruments, a microphone, and speakers, almost identical to his musical set-up at your house in LA. Daniel flopped down on the bed face first, letting out a loud, happy sigh.

“Come lay with me.”

You walked over to the bed, laying down next to him. He turned his face so that he was no longer facing the sheets and smiled at you.

“Don’t we have to unpack?” You asked, giggling. He pulled you onto his chest, wrapping his long arms around your waist. “We have time.” He replied, burying his head in your hair. “Let me spend time with my mate first.”

You smiled, drawing lazy circles on his shoulder.

“What’s it like being a werewolf?” You asked curiously after a brief moment of silence.

He stayed silent for a while, thinking. “It’s hard to explain.” He replied, “I guess it’s kind of like having a voice in your head that’s telling you what to do.” He laughed. “Oh, and the wolf thing. I don’t think I’d ever be able to explain that.”

You giggled, placing a small kiss on his cheek. “It’s okay if you can’t explain it, Danny. I just wanna get to know this side of you better.”

He nodded, drawing you closer.

Silence filled the room again, until you spoke up suddenly.

“What does it feel like to have a mate? In your perspective, I guess.”

“It’s the best feeling in the entire world.” He murmured, nipping at your ear with his teeth playfully. “But kind of annoying, at first.”

“What do you mean?”

“Having to wait so long, watching you date other people, not being able to be as close as I wanted to be for so long. God, seeing you with your scumbag ex made me almost lose it.” He let out a low growl. “I’m glad he left. Since you’re my mate, I can feel your feelings too. I could sense you were miserable with him.” He explained, “When you’re sad, I’m sad. When you’re happy, I’m happy.”

“Is that supposed to happen to me too?”

He shook his head. “You’re human, so your soul won’t feel it the same way mine does.”

“Oh.” You mumbled. “I’m sorry I made you wait so long. I wish I knew.”

“It’s okay, baby.” He replied, “I’d wait a million years for you if I had to.”

You smiled, kissing his cheek lovingly.

A knock interrupted the moment, making Daniel sit up. “God dammit Jack. What do you want?”

“Wow, Hello to you too Daniel. Dinner is almost ready. Come downstairs when you’re done doing um...whatever you’re doing.” Jack said with a chuckle, closing the door and walking out.

Daniel groaned, laying back down next to you. “I don’t wanna go all the way back downstairs. I wanna say with you.” He whined, playing with your hair.

You laughed, sitting up. “Come on, Danny. We should get ready and go.” He pouted and sat up.

“Fine, whatever.”

~~~

“She’s a quiet one. Now if Charlotte were here-“

“Myta, don’t tease her.”

“Y/N is just a little shy, that’s all.” Daniel said, standing up for you.

You sat at the large, round dining table, slowly eating your food as the families around you discussed whatever was on their minds.

“So when are you two going to have pups?”

You stopped eating immediately, almost choking.

“Dad!”

“You know, when your mother and I were your age we-“

Zach cleared his throat, stopping Daniel’s father mid-sentence.

“I’m sorry for interrupting you Alpha, but we’re trying to eat? I’d rather not talk about babies right now.”

“I agree with Zach. Luna makes good food.” Jack said, his mouth full.

Daniel put his hand on your thigh, rubbing small circles into your skin with his thumb.

“Are you alright?” He whispered to you, concern lacing his tone. You nodded in response, sending him a small smile. “Yeah.” You replied softly, lacing your fingers with his. He gave you a smile back, rejoining the conversation his parents were having.

“Are Corbyn and Christina coming soon?” Jonah asked, looking over at you from across the table.

“Yep, she texted me earlier. They’re driving up now.” You replied with a smile.

“Corbyn and Christina are your friends from LA right?” Keri asked. The boys nodded.

“Oh, Corbyn isn’t apart of your pack?” You asked curiously.

Daniel shook his head. “He’s from a pack in Virginia. We met him in LA.”

“Ohhh okay.”

The room filled with the comfortable hum of chatter as you all finished your meals with no further interruptions.

“Anyone want dessert?”

~~~

You sat in front of a ceiling-high window in the living room, a cup of tea from Keri in your hands as you gazed up at the stars. Everyone else had gone off to their rooms, resting for the day ahead. You, on the other hand, couldn’t sleep. You had gone out of Daniel’s room and went downstairs, where Keri found you. She was just about to head upstairs so she made ginger lemon tea for you to try to help your restlessness.

Maybe it was the change in time, keeping you awake or the occasional howls from the wolves outside, but it was mostly your thoughts keeping you awake.

Would they like me more if I was a werewolf?

Who is Charlotte? Would Daniel have ended up with her if he didn’t meet me?

“Couldn’t sleep, huh?” A voice sounded behind you, making you jump. You turned to find Daniel walking towards you, his face contorting with concern.

You shook your head as he sat down next to you, draping a plush blanket over your shoulders.

“No. How’d you know?”

He chuckled, wrapping his arms around your waist.

“I can feel when you’re not near me. Oh, and mom told me on her way to her room.”

You leaned into his chest, warmth radiating off of him. You took a small sip from the mug in your hands.

“Why couldn’t you sleep?”

You shrugged in response, your eyes drawing back towards the scenery outside.

He sighed, the moonlight making his blue eyes twinkle. “Come on, babe. You can talk to me.”

You shook your head, looking back up at him. “I was just...thinking. I’m not used to this whole werewolf thing yet, I guess.”

“Oh.” He mumbled, rubbing his neck awkwardly. “I know, it’s a little weird at first. You don’t have to stay the whole time with me if you’re uncomfortable.”

“No, no it’s fine. I just need a little time to get used to it.” You said with a smile.

“Okay.” He said, returning the smile with a toothy grin of his own. “Nothing else is bothering you?”

“Nope.”

He sighed, the smile falling as soon as it appeared. “You’re lying.”

“What?���

“Y/N, you may be good at hiding it, but you’re not going to get anything past me.” He chuckled. “When you lie, your heart speeds up a couple beats and you bite your lip.”

“Oh.”

“Come on, you can tell me. Spit it out.”

“Who’s Charlotte?”

He froze, his tongue darting out and swiping across his lips. He looked down, taking your tiny hands in his large ones. “She...was a friend. We were really close, and everyone thought we were mates, or that at least we’d end up together. Then I found out she was only close to me because she wanted to be Luna.” He blurted out, “She only talked to me because of my status. I ditched her a long time ago and haven’t seen her since.”

“I’m sorry I asked.”

“It’s fine Y/N.” He pulled you closer and placed a soft kiss on your forehead. “Lets go to bed now, yeah?”

You nodded, letting out a small yawn.

“Alright. Come on, sleepy.”

~~~

The next few days were quite uneventful, full of small conversations with family and watching Daniel train with the boys. You sat at the side of the field with Christina, watching as they playfully tackled each other.

“Daniel! Don’t hit me I’m wEAK-“

He laughed, running at Jack. “You’re not weak, Beta.”

“I’m weak compared to you, so sToP!”

“Cheeseitz, they’re so aggressive.” You said, shivering as snowflakes started falling from the light gray sky.

“Well duh, they’re werewolves.” Christina said with a chuckle, “You should see them when they’re actually being serious.”

Daniel grabbed onto Jack, pinning him down on the snow covered ground.

“Jonah! Help please.”

The older boy swooped in, pulling the curly-haired boy from Daniel’s grasp.

“Hey! Not fair.” He groaned, getting up.

Corbyn scribbled something down on his clipboard before walking over to the three boys. “Actually, very fair. You’re stronger than both of them combined, future Alpha. See, your endurance...” They continued talking about stats, looking over whatever data was written on the papers in Corbyn’s hands.

“Alpha?” You asked Christina.

She nodded. “You didn’t know Daniel was an Alpha?”

You shook your head. “I don’t think he’s ever mentioned it, besides the fact that his dad is one.”

“He’s always been so self conscious of his status.” Christina said. “We should go inside, it’s snowing harder and our puny human bodies can only last so long in the cold.” She joked, “I can tell you more about it inside.”

“Yeah, let’s go inside, I’m freezing.”

You walked inside with her, slowly peeling off layers of jackets the second you got inside and closed the glass door.

“So, what do you want to know?” Christina asked as you both sat down in the living room.

“Everything.”

~~~

“Wait wait wait. So you’re saying I have to-“

“Whatcha two talking about?” Daniel walked in, wrapping his arms around you as he sat down next to you.

“Not much.” Christina said with a smile. “Oh look, Corbyn needs me. I’ll be back.” She got up and walked out of the living room, leaving you two alone.

“You’re sweaty.”

Daniel laughed, rubbing his cheek on your shoulder. “I’ll rub my sweat all over you then.”

“Ew! Go shower.” You giggled, pushing him away playfully. He pinned your hands above you and peppered kisses all over your face.

“You’re not getting away from me anytime soon.”

He pulled you into a tight hug, wrapping his limbs around your torso, his dripping hair and neck up against your chest.

“Hey, Daniel?” A servant walked in, his tone urgent.

“Yes? What is it?” He looked up, slightly annoyed.

“It’s your father.”

The annoyance went away quickly and he got up from the ground.

“Please, follow me.” The servant walked out of the room and down the hall, Daniel close behind. You got up, curiously following them slowly.

“-yes, it’s very bad. The healers might not be able to do much this time, Alpha.”

“Don’t call me that. He’ll be fine, we have the best healers here.” The door closed, their conversation now muffled. You slipped in, closing the door behind you. Daniel’s father lay in a bed in the middle of the room, his eyes closed and his skin papery and pale. Keri sat next to the bed, her hand in her husband’s, a grim look on her face. Daniel sat at her feet, his head in her lap. Doctors and servants rushed around the room silently, the only sound came from the beeping of the heart monitor in the corner of the room.

Keri looked up at you and gave you a small smile. As you walked over to them. You sat down behind Daniel, wrapping your around around him.

“Is he going to be okay?” You muttered, concerned. Keri shook her head and let out a sigh. “No.” She replied sadly, “Jeff is strong, but he’s an elder wolf and has had too much contact with silver over the years. He’s a bit weak and won’t recover for a while.”

Daniel turned around, burying his face in your shoulder, his tears leaving stains on your shirt. “I don’t want him to go.” he mumbled.

“It’ll be alright,” you cooed into his ear softly, massaging his scalp with your fingers. “He’ll live, I promise.”

Keri looked down at her son with sad eyes. She looked as if she wanted to say something, but she kept her mouth shut. Her eyes drifted back to her husband.

A doctor walked over to you and Daniel and nudged your shoulder lightly. “You two should go.” He said, “Daniel needs some sleep, and it’s getting late.”

You nodded, getting up. Daniel got up with you, his movements sluggish as you walked him upstairs and to his bedroom. He stumbled into the room and collapsed on the bed as you closed the door. He looked over at you, his once bright eyes now a dull blue.

“Come here.”

You walked over to him and sat on the bed next to him. “Are you okay?” You asked, playing with a lock of his hair.

He shook his head.

“You know, your dad is in good hands. He won’t-“

“You’d think I’d know that, I lived here for 18 years. It’s not that.”

“Then what’s wrong?”

He shook his head again and took your small hand in his larger one. “Can you run me a bath, please?” He mumbled, “Like back in LA?”

You nodded, pulling him to his feet. “But talk to me, please? I can’t help you if I don’t know what you’re thinking.”

“Oh yeah, you’re not a wolf.” He muttered. “Fine.”

You frowned at his comment but quickly pushed your feelings away.

“Come on, you glum chum. You’re still sweaty as fuck from earlier.”

You dragged him into the adjoined bathroom, turning on the lights as you walked in. He plopped down on the closed toilet, watching you as you prepared a bath for him.

You got up after getting it ready, waiting for the water to fill the porcelain tub.

“So are you going to tell me what’s wrong now?”

He pulled his shirt off of his body and shrugged. “I guess.”

You let out a sigh and hugged him, his arms wrapping around your thighs and his head resting against your stomach. He nuzzled into your shirt lovingly as you massaged his scalp. “It’s not necessarily the fact that my dad is injured. It’s happened loads of times, he’s a strong wolf and always recovers. Besides, he’s got another like 100 years to live.” He tugged at his socks and pulled them off, throwing them into a pile of dirty clothes nearby. “It’s just the fact that he’s not strong enough to lead the pack anymore. When he steps down, I have to take over. It’s stupid.” You pulled away from him and turned off the water, the bathtub now full. You mixed in some bath salts as Daniel peeled away his sweatpants and boxers. He sunk into the water, only his head and shoulders sticking out. “Why don’t you want to take over the pack?” You asked as you sat down on the tile floor next to the tub. He sighed, leaning his head back on the wall. “Well first of all, we’d have to move here permanently and I know your family is in LA. Second of all, it’s so much work. I hate it. My stupid older brothers are off doing their own things so I’m stuck taking over the pack.” You frowned, pouring shampoo into your hand before lathering it into his wet hair.

“I know you don’t like it, but it’s your responsibility Daniel. How would your parents feel if you backed out?”

He stayed silent for a moment, thinking. He sighed, leaning into your hands as you washed his hair. “You’re right. I guess it’ll be fine.”

“You’re a natural leader, Danny. It really shouldn’t be too hard for you.” You rinsed the soap from his hair with water before getting up and retrieving a towel from the closet.

“Join me.” He said as you placed the towel on the counter.

You slowly stripped out of your clothes before stepping into the steaming water. You sat down on his thighs, pouring more soap into your hands and washing his body.

“You’re so spoiled.” You joked with a chuckle, running your hands over his chest.

“That’s only because people like spoiling me.” He replied, his eyes fluttering shut. “They just fall for my natural charm.”

“Yeah, sure.” You said, rubbing his arms, his biceps slightly bulging with muscle.

“Well you certainly did.” He said, his eyes opening again.

“That’s true.” You replied, “I guess you’re not that bad.”

He captured your lips with his, his arms around your waist. He pulled away, his eyes traveling up and down your body. “I’m glad you think so.” He mumbled, his eyes falling back on yours. He pulled you closer, chest on chest, your head on his shoulder.

“I’m gonna fill you up with my pups one day.” He muttered in your ear, his hand traveling down your back.

You felt your body heat up more despite the hot water surrounding you.

He chuckled, playing with a strand of hair that escaped your bun. “You’re so cute when you’re embarrassed.” He said, making you blush more. “Shut up.” He nipped at your neck playfully, his mouth suckling on your sweet skin.

“I love you.”

“I love you too, Danny.”

~~~

2 weeks had passed since you arrived, everything seemed to have fallen into routine. Daniel usually woke up hours before you, sitting with his father in the morning before training outside for the rest of the day. You did your best to be useful, both you and Christina helping Keri with whatever you could.

“You do know you’ll have to take my place soon, right?”

“Wait, I have to become Luna?”

“You’re Daniel’s mate, aren’t you?”

You nodded, playing with the hem of your sweater.

She let out a small sigh, giving you a look of sympathy. “I know it seems a bit daunting, but trust me, you’ll do great.”

You nodded again, trying your best to believe Keri’s words.

The door opened, revealing a shirtless Daniel. Sweat dripped down his neck, his hair a disheveled mess. You smiled at him as he walked towards you. “How was training?” You asked him.

He flopped onto the ground in front of you and Keri. “Tiring.” He mumbled, “Mommy can I have some food please?”

She nodded and walked to the kitchen, leaving you alone with him.

“Being an Alpha is so much work.” He groaned, turning to lay on his back.

You chuckled and sat on the floor next to him, petting his hair. “My big, strong Alpha. You should take a break.” You mumbled with a giggle. He let out a small purr, leaning into your touch.

“Stopppp.” He groaned, trying to pull away.

“Why? You obviously like it.”

“True.” He sighed, “but if you tell anyone, you’re dead. No one can see me like this but you, okay?”

“Okay.” You chuckled. He turned his head to the side and placed a small kiss on your hand.

“Come on, let’s go get food.” He said, hopping up. “I’m hungry.”

~~~

“Would we be different if I were a werewolf?”

It was a late night, and you couldn’t sleep once again. Moonlight pooled on the ground where you sat next to the bed. Daniel laid half-asleep on the mattress, barely paying attention to what you said.

“No.” He mumbled, his eyes fluttering shut. “I don’t think so.”

He reached out weakly towards you, hooking his finger onto yours. You looked away from the window and at him. He slept peacefully, tiny grunts and growls leaving his parted lips.

“I just-“ you heaved out a sigh. “I’m just a bit frustrated, I guess? Even though I’m not the only human, I know almost nothing about the culture and stuff. How am I going to be a Luna if I don’t even know the basics?” You groaned, “Half of them probably don’t even like me.”

Silence. You and your dumb ass, you shouldn’t have said anything.

“Come here.” He mumbled, tugging at your hand with his finger. As you got up, he pulled you onto the bed and into his arms, your head on his chest, a hand in your hair.

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry, my love.” He whispered lovingly, nuzzling your cheek with his nose, just as he would in wolf form. “You’ll be great, I can feel it.”

“Yeah but-“

“No buts.” He mumbled into your ear, “if you’re still kind of iffy about it, you can talk to my mom. She was in the same situation as you are now.”

“Okay, I’ll talk to her tomorrow then.” You mumbled back, snuggling into his warmth. He smiled and kissed you softly. “I wish I could help you more, love, but I don’t know what it’s like being human.”

“It’s okay.” You smiled back, “we make it work.”

“Yeah, like always.” He said.

“Best friends against the world.” You replied with a grin.

“Of course.” He chuckled, nipping at your ear with his teeth. “Come on, my love, let’s go to sleep.”

~~~

The next day, you decided to talk to Keri while Daniel was out training yet again.

“Keri?”

“Yes, dear?”

“C-can you help me with something?”

She nodded and put her mug down. “Is something wrong?”

“No- well, yeah. I’m scared, and frustrated about this whole ‘becoming the Luna’ thing. Daniel said I should talk to you about it.”

“Ah, Daniel told me about that this morning. Why are you scared?”

“Well, I’m different. Do I really have what it takes? I mean, I barely know anything.”

“If it makes you feel better, I was in a similar situation as you’re in now. If you want, I can teach you everything you need to know.”

“Thank you, Keri.”

“Of course.” She smiled, “is that all that was bothering you?”

You shook your head. “Is there a way to turn into a werewolf?”

“Yes, but,” she sighed, “it’s extremely dangerous. If you want to become a werewolf, you need to be bitten by one on the full moon. Your body will end up rejecting it and you’ll die. Very few people survive torture like that.”

Well fuck, never mind.

“But I’m a human. Don’t they deserve a strong werewolf to take over as Luna?”

“Being a werewolf doesn’t make you a good leader. In fact, I’m human too.” She said with a chuckle, “I’ve seen you interact with the pack. You’ll be a good leader, Y/N.”

“You’re human too?”

“Yes. I grew up around werewolves, but I’m human.”

“Oh, that makes sense.”

“Don’t worry too much about being a werewolf or not, Y/N. That would be like saying you can’t lead because of your ethnicity. It’s about what’s on the inside.”

You nodded again, taking in every word she said. “Thank you.” You smiled.

“Of course.” She pulled you into a loving embrace, which you accepted with open arms. “You’re family.”

~~~

The full moon. A time where all the werewolves in the house went into the woods for a few days to keep the few humans around safe. This was a normal routine you had gotten used to over the few months, but Daniel was always hesitant on leaving.

“I don’t wanna leave you.” He mumbled, hugging your waist tightly. He rested his head on your stomach, a pout on his lips.

“Come on, bro. We need to go before it’s too late.” Jack said, poking Daniel’s arm repeatedly.

He sighed and got up from his knees. “Fine.”

“You’ll be back before you know it.” You told him, placing a small kiss on his lips. “It’s only for a few days.”

He squeezed you tight, kissing you back passionately. “Be careful, okay? Don’t go outside until we get back.” He murmured.

“Okay.” You replied softly, sinking into his embrace. “You be careful too.”

He nodded, smiling. “I’ll see you in a few days, my love.”

You pulled away and watched him join his pack members, all running off into the nearby woods.

Soon after everyone left, Keri shut all the windows and doors, enclosing herself, you, Christina and Anna safely inside. You all sat in a circle, watching the sunset and eating small snacks.

“Wait, Anna you’re human? But your brothers are all werewolves.”

She shrugged and smiled. “I guess I got more human than wolf genes.”

“Ohh, makes sense.” Christina replied, “well welcome to the human club.”

Anna laughed, taking another bite out of the cookie in her hands.

Silence filled the practically empty house, a large contrast to how it had been hours before. The sun sank deeper and deeper below the horizon, the full moon shining in the distance. Time quickly passed and soon enough everyone had gone to bed, leaving you alone in the living room. Like almost every night, you were up late and couldn’t sleep.

I wonder what Daniel is doing right now.

Of course, having to separate for a few days each month was normal, but that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt every moment that you were apart. You felt a sharp pang in your heart just thinking about it.

Is this how he feels all the time?

A low growling noise interrupted your thoughts. “What was that?” You mumbled to yourself, getting up from where you previously sat on the ground. You tiptoed towards the sound, confused.

You quickly grabbed the closest thing to you, which happened to be your steel water bottle, and made your way down the hall. This feels familiar.

A dark blur flew by, caught in your peripheral vision. It couldn’t have been anyone who was in the house with you, as they were all upstairs asleep. You dashed quickly towards where the blur went, bottle in hand. You saw it run back into the living room, so you quickly followed.

You hid behind a wall, catching your breath for only a moment.

Okay, on three.

One.

Two.

Three.

You jumped out from your hiding spot, swinging your weapon around wildly with your eyes screwed shut.

A low growl sounded from in front of you, making you open your eyes.

“Daniel?”

He was in his wolf form, of course, circling you. His once bright blue eyes turned to a deep blood red, his lip turned up into a snarl.

How did he get in?

You quickly backed away from him, the bottle in your hands pointed at him.

“Daniel…” you started, walking backwards towards the door.

He followed you, eyes trained on yours, stalking you as if you were a piece of prey.

“It’s just me, Y/N. Your girlfriend?” Your voice cracked as you spoke, making you cringe. “Come on, it’s okay bud.”

You bumped into a corner, effectively trapping yourself.

Daniel growled again, lunging towards you. You stifled a gasp as a pair of fangs sunk into your shoulder. You fell to the ground, blacking out from the pain.

~~~

“God, I’m so stupid!”

“It wasn’t your fault, dear.”

“But it kind of was, mom. I should’ve controlled him better, I can usually get him under my-“

“Daniel. Stop beating yourself up. She’s going to be okay. You can’t change what’s already happened.”

You laid neatly on a plush white bed, in a room you quickly recognized as one in the infirmary. Your left arm was wrapped in thick layers of gauze, two pools of blood slightly sweeping through. Your head spun, the bright fluorescent lights slightly blinding you.

“D-Daniel?” You croaked, weakly sitting up.

“You’re awake! Oh, god, lay back down please.” He replied, departing from his mother and kneeling at the bed next to you. He took your face in his warm hands and kissed you. “I’m so sorry.” He mumbled again and again between every kiss.

“It’s okay.” You mumbled back, resting your forehead on his.

He stroked your hair gently, looking at you with his beautiful blue eyes.

“What happened?”

He pouted and took your hands in his, rubbing small circles into your soft skin with his thumb.

“I-I bit you.”

“You...bit me?”

“Yeah. In my wolf form. You do know what’s going to happen to you, right?”

You nodded. “I’ll fight through it, okay? Everything’s going to be fine.”

“Everything’s not fine. I can’t lose you.” He whined. “The survival rate is like, 0.15 percent. It’s even lower if you get bitten by an Alpha and-“

“Daniel.”

“God, you’re going to be in so much pain for the next few days even if you  do survive I’m so sorry-“

“Daniel James Seavey. You can stop rambling.” You interrupted, a smile growing on your face.

“Right. Yeah...everything’s going to be fine. I’m not going to let anything bad happen to you.” He placed another soft kiss on your lips, filling you with warmth and happiness.

“Also, what’s with you and attacking me with water bottles?”

“I have no clue.”

~~~

The next few days were miserable for you. Even though you spent most of the day asleep, you were in constant pain and extreme discomfort. Saying that you’d be in immense pain was an understatement.

“Do you need anything, love?” Daniel asked for the tenth time today, sitting on the bed next to you.

“No, I’m fine.” You winced slightly from the pain in your chest.

“Feel any different today?”

“You mean besides the excruciating pain?”

“Besides that, love.”

“Kind of, but not really. Do you sense anything?”

He nodded. “You still smell human, but you have a different aura now. The boys think you’re going to turn into an omega, and it certainly feels like that.”

“What’s an omega?”

He chuckled and twirled a lock of your hair in his fingers. “An omega is the closest a werewolf can get to a human. They’re the lowest of the pack usually, and can’t change into their wolf form unless they’re in severe danger. They also don’t get affected by the full moon.”

“Oh-“

“Mhm. But the status thing won’t affect you.”

You hugged your pillow close to your stomach, letting out a small growl from pain. “How come?”

“Your growls are so cute.” He muttered, placing a small kiss on your head. “And you’re with me, dummy. You’ll be Luna.”

“Shut up.” You replied with a chuckle, plucking his forehead.

“Ouch! That hurt.” He whined.

“I’m glad you’re finally back.”

“Me too.” You said, smiling. “Being in constant pain for multiple days in a row sucks ass.”

Daniel placed a large hand on your stomach, radiating warmth from his skin. “I wish I could help you more.” He mumbled.

“Just being here is enough, Danny.” You replied, lacing your fingers between his.

He grinned and slid into bed next to you, pulling the white covers over you both.

“I love you.”

“I love you Danny.”

[100yearoldcomics]

June 4, 1922 The Katzenjammer Kids by Harold Knerr

TOP PANEL [ID: Mama takes a walk outside, carrying a wicker basket under her arm. She crouches and brandishes her umbrella as she stares angrily at what appears to be der Captain, sticking his head out of a hole in their fence. In reality, it's Rosie with a top hat and fake beard the Kids put on her. The Kids stand behind Rosie, stifling giggles. /end] Mama: Who said you could go ouid? Vot?

MAIN COMIC [ID: Der Captain sits at a small table in his room, talking on the telephone. The Kids eavesdrop from inside his record cabinet. A cat sleeps on the floor behind him. /end] Captain: Hello, iss dot you, Chon Silver? Send me up a false-facer und I betcha I fool der old goil und sneak der house ouid!

[ID: The Kids, in another room, make a mask of der Captain's face. Hans paints the face while Fritz poses coquettishly. /end] Hans: Der face iss a liddle on der blink, but der old boy's heart iss in der right place! Fritz: Dot's funny! I t'ought it vas in der left place!

[ID: Meanwhile, der Captain puts on a police uniform and paints his own mask to look like that of an old man with glasses, a top hat and a long white beard. The Kids peek impishly through the closed curtained doorway from another room. /end] Captain: Dod-gast it! If diss don't fool Mrs. Katzenjammer, I eat it!

[ID: Der Captain sits, disguised, in a chair beside an open window. Hans, outside, leans in the window and hooks the Kids' fake Captain face onto the back of his hat. Fritz plays dumb, walking in front of the Captain and playing into his scheme. /end] Captain: Tell Mrs. Katzenjammer dot I iss finished und going ouid! I am der chief uf police! Fritz: Ooh! How did you get in der house? I tell Mamma right avay!

[ID: Fritz escapes out the window with Hans while Mamma comes in, clutching a rolling pin. /end] Captain: I chust sneaked in to see if you got some evidence! Now I go ouid! You see, ve chief uf polizers iss foxy gazabos! Mama: My! Und I didn't efen know you vas in! Vouldn't you like to see Der Captain?

[ID: Der Captain walks out the front door, revealing the Captain mask on the back of his head. Mama notices, furious. /end] Mama: Ah, ha! So it iss only monkey-bizness! Captain: Vell, ta-ta! If you find some evidence, you could telephone me!

[ID: Mama hits der Captain over the head with a rolling pin. /end] Mama: Back sneaker! Maybe you t'ink you vas sneaking off to Africa mit der piraters! Didn't I said it stay in der house in! SFX: KLOP!

[ID: Der Captain turns back around to Mama, confusing her with the police chief disguise. Der Inspector walks in the front door behind him, seeing the Captain mask. /end] Mama: Oh, oxcoose, Mister Chief! I t'ought it vas Der Captain! But, vare iss he und v'y iss it? Captain: Say! Vot der dod-goozled! Did you vant to be arrested for grand goofumy? Inspector: Hello, Cap! Vot iss der good woid?

[ID: Der Captain turns around again, putting his hand in der Inspector's face to shove him aside. Mama sees the Captain mask again and crosses her arms over her chest in fury. /end] Mama: So! You iss back again? Vot iss der idea und v'y iss it? Und vare iss der chief uf der policers? Captain: Ouid uf my vay, liddle shrimper! Inspector: Vare did you drop in from? Und who iss vot calls me a shrimper?

[ID: Mama pulls on the Captain mask, pulling him backwards. /end] Mama: Nix, mister out-sneaker! Der house in iss vare you stay or it gifs trouble! Captain: Hey! Cut it ouid! Inspector: Chust say dot shrimper bizness vunce more, und it gifs a punch in der nose!

[ID: Mama inspects the double-sided mask with suspicion. Der Captain stands to her side, frustrated, his hands folded across his chest. Der Inspector laughs at him. /end] Mama: Oh, ho! A false-facer! Now I see it! All der faces iss fakes! Captain: Vell, maybe now you iss satisfied! Inspector: Ho! Ho! Haw! It iss der old boy himselluf trying to sneak ouid!

[ID: Der Captain sulks angrily in an armchair in a darkened room. In the other, brightly lit room separated by a curtained doorway, the rest of the family happily listens to der Inspector laugh on and on. /end] Inspector: Haw! Haw! Haw! Und den off comes der odder face...!!! Mama: But who vas der chief uf policers? Captain: Chust a liddle more guff from dot dum-goozled shrimper und it gifs a moider!

[pomnavi]

Tonari no Kinniku Joshi / Nearby Muscle Girl Chapter 5 text

https://comic.pixiv.net/works/5943

Title: Training 5: Snow day and Muscles

Page 1 Side page text: Both my heart and body are in awe♪ Box 1: Snow has blanketed the city. Box 2: In an atmosphere that is more festive than usual Box 3: I'm in the worst mood.

Page 2 Box 1: Damn it, I've ruined my chances by suddenly giving her something like that... Food box: Aforementioned hamburger Box 2: I definitely creeped her out... I wanna disappear. Ruby box: Coming back from a run Bu 1: Good morning Daria-kun Bu 2: RUUby-san... hello?

Page 3 Bu 1: Isn't it first snow of the season Bu 2: Yeah Bu 3: As expected, she's not always in just a tanktop and shorts. Ruby text: I'll have to shovel the snow later. Bu 4: Even Ruby-san has something for cold weather.. fufu (giggle) Bu 5: Daria-kun

Page 4 Bu 1: About the food you gave me last time Box 1: Straight to the point! Box 2: My heart isn't ready to hear your reaction to that yet! Bu 2: Uhh...um.. uh... bottom sfx: snow falling

Page 5 Bu 1: caught!?

Page 6 Bu 1: ...Your nose Bu 2: It's red. Bu 3: I... I'm okay.

Page 7 Bu 1: I see Bu 2: That hamburger you gave me was really delicious. Bu 3: Again, thanks for doing that.

Page 8 Box 1: What was that... Bu 1: The coldness just disappeared... Box 2: just now! Side of page: To be continued: Look forward to the next chapter! This.. just makes me love you even more...!

End

Disclaimer: I’m learning Japanese, so if you see anything wrong feel free to correct me!

Note: Ruby is such a smooth flirt and she doesn’t even realize it lol.

[luna-reverie]

Crow/Fleece Supports (C-S)

lay me to rest this was too sweet

Crow: Hiya!

Fleece: Wah--! F: O-Oh, hello Crow…

C: Did I scare ya? Whoops, nyaha~!

F: D-Did you need something?

C: Oh, yeah! I’m really interested in wolfskin! C: I wanted to talk to you!!

F: M-Me?

C: Yeah!

F: U-Um… What d-do you want to know?

C: Anything!

F: That's.. um… c-could you narrow it down a little?

C: Okay! Do you like being in your wolf form more? C: I know I would!!

F: Oh, um… I n-never thought about it.

C: I've never seen you shift outside of battle.

F: You must not have… um… seen me. Sometimes I like t-to walk around and… F: O-Oh it s-sounds embarrassing when I say it out loud…

C: You walk around and what? I'm curious now!

F: I, um… I wander around to find someone who'll pet m-me.

C: *gasp* I'll pet you!! Where do you like to get scratched?

F: !! Behind my ears..!

Fleece and Crow attained C support.

Crow: Heya, Fleece! C: I didn't scare ya this time, did I?

Fleece: Hehe, no, I heard you coming this time. F: U-Um… I was just wondering… F: Why are you so curious about wolfskin?

C: Oh! Well, ya see… wolves reminds me of my dad. C: …

F: ...Crow? A-Are you okay?

C: Y-Yeah! I’m great, howl are you--

F: !! [giggles]

C: [brightens] Do you like puns? I’ve got plenty more where that came from--!

F: (...He still seems sad… even though he’s smiling…)

C: It’s punderstandable, puns are hilarious!

F: ...Are you sure you’re okay?

C: …

F: Wolfskin can, um… sense sadness…

C: Oh! Well… that’d do it nyahah.. C: Truth is… My father is probably dead. Even if he isn’t, I’ll never see him again…

F: Crow…

C: ‘Scuse me...

Fleece and Crow attained B Support.

Fleece: [looks around] Crow?

Crow: Huh? Fleece? C: What is it?

F: ...I know you’re still sad and… I, um… don’t know how else to help you.

C: How else…?

[Transformation sfx]

C: *gasp* You transformed..? Wait, do you want me to sit by you? C: Nod once for no, twice for yes--yes, o-okay. C: ...Wow, you’re so soft. Like a--like a big warm pillow.

F: *rumble of happiness*

C: ...I could fall asleep like this. Haha, what, are you curling around me?

F: *content sigh*

C: ...It hurts to remember them... But I don’t want to let go. C: I don’t know what I want… *sniff* C: *sob* I miss my parents--*sob* b-but I can never go back…

F: *sad whine*

C: *sniff* My sister… oh gods, my sister-! *sob* C: Fleece… *hic* he--hehehe--d-don’t poke me like that, your nose is cold--stop it! C: If I scratch your ears will you stop that? Ah--hey, if you put your head in my lap then I can’t get up! C: Or was that your evil plan the whole time? Don’t think I don’t see your tail wagging!! C: ...Thanks, Fleece.

Fleece and Crow attained A Support.

Fleece: Hi, Crow.

Crow: Gah-! C: H-Heya Fleece!

F: Did I scare you this time? Hehehe~

C: Just a little bit nyahah…

F: ... How are you feeling?

C: I'm fine.

F: …Oh. Okay.

C: … C: ...wait.

F: Yes?

C: [blush] I… I have something to confess.

F: You do? W-what is it?

C: I'm… in love with you.

F: [blush!!!] Y-Y-You are!?

C: I am… you're the easiest person to talk to that I've ever met. And you care. You're cute and you're sweet and kind… C: You don't judge me when I need comfort… or how often I need it…

F: Crow…

C: I just.. love how you play with the end of your braid when you get nervous. You hide in your cape when you're scared… your eyes light up when you see a rock you want.

F: !!! F: And you… [shy] you snort when you laugh at something really funny…

C: !

F: You have a pun for anything.. And you love to play with the crows that follow you around.

C: My crow friends? No one else has noticed them..!

F: Y-You haven’t had to comfort me yet… but I know you’d be good at it…

C: Are you saying…?

F: Y-Yes.

C: Oh, Fleece-! I know wolfskin don’t exchange rings, but… I want you to have this.

F: It’s beautiful... F: … I-I love you.

C: I love you too.

Fleece and Crow attained S Support.

New Paralogues are available.

[fadednotescastedfate]

Sacrifice

“Sakripisyo“ [1st Part] Ako po si Gian De Castro, 30 years old from Baguio City. 12 years ago, may nakilala akong babae through my cousin, Gaile and her name is Riss. Surprisingly, she’s from Pasig City. I was in 2nd year college by that time while she was on her highschool. Classmate ni Gaile si Riss, rason kung bakit kami nagkakilala. It all started when I received a text message from an unknown number. SEQ. 1: GIAN ON THE FIELD PEOPLE CHATTING FROM AFAR SFX PLAYING STUDENTS FROM AFAR SFX MESSAGE TUNE Unknown Number [09XXXXXXXXX]: Hi? Me: Huh? Unknown..... Sino naman to? (That was breaktime. Hindi naman ako gaanong kumakain pag breaktime kaya natuon ko ang buong oras ko sa nagtext.) Me: Who’s this? UN [09XXXXXXXXX]: A friend.:) I just need someone to talk to. Is it okay with you? (NIce. But I don’t talk to strangers, so, ang last reply ko na sana sa kanya.) Me: Do you expect me to make friends with someone I don’t know? Sorry. I can’t help you right now. Pansamantala kong pinoproblema ang isang subject ko ngayon. Sorry, Friend. And Pls. Delete my number. ASAP. Thanks. (I heard the bell telling us students na bumalik na ng classroom for the next class. Nang papasok na ako ng classroom, nakita naman ako ng kaibigan ko at the same time, classmate ko. His name is Andrew.) SEQ. 2: CLASSROOM STUDENTS CHATTING SFX Andrew: Hey! Bakit nakabusangot ka? Anong problema? Me: Wala to. (Inunahan ko na sya pumasok ng classroom then nagpunta na ako sa upuan ko. Pero sinundan nya ako. Andrew: OK? Hindi nga? Anong nangyari sayo? Me: Wala talaga. May nagtext lang. Sya daw si Friend. Andrew: Yun lang? Nagkakaganyan ka na? Baka chiks lang yan? Virgin ka pa daw kasi.... sa lovelife! Hahaha! Baka admirer mo dito sa campus. Ikaw naman kasi eh? Kaya ka hindi nagkakagirlfriend kasi naman, napakaseryoso mo sa buhay dude! Me: Stop. I don’t care. Wala akong plano sa lovelife ngayon. Ang gusto ko, makapagtapos ng pag-aaral, make my dreams come true and get a life. Then maybe, just maybe, don ako magiging handa na magkagirlfriend. Andrew: Heh? Kailan pa yon? Pag 30 ka na? Haha! Baka naman hindi ka na magkaanak nyan pare? Hahaha! Me: Shut up, Drew. Pumunta ka na nga sa upuan mo, nandyan na si Miss. Andrew: Hahaha! Oo na sige na. Pero pare ah? Malay mo, yan na yung “The ONE” Hahaha! Me: *giggles* Naniniwala ka talaga dyan? MESSAGE TONE SFX UN [09XXXXXXXXX]: Uy Gian! Sorry na. Wag ka na magalit. ( (Nagulat ako nang magtext ulit yung unknown texter. Kasi this time, binanggit na nya ang pangalan ko. I don’t know how pero napilitan ako magreply. And all of sudden, hindi nalang sya basta-basta nagtetext, this time, tumawag na sya..) Me: How do you know my name? Who are you? And, have I told to delete my number and stop bugging me? I’m on the middle of a class. CALL TUNE SFX Incoming Call.... 09XXXXXXXXX Me: What the?! (Bigla akong natigilan nang mapansin ako ni Miss dahil napalakas pala ang boses ko nang biglang tumawag ang unknown number.) Miss Garcia: Mr. De Castro? Any problem? Me: Ahm.. N-no ma’am. Sorry. May I leave the room for a moment? Misss Garcia: Go ahead Gian. (Kasalukuyang nagva-vibrate pa rin ang phone ko paglabas ng classroom and nabwisit na nga ako kaya sinagot ko ang tawag.) Me: Hello? Unti-unti na akong napipikon dahil nadisturbo na nya ako sa klase, hindi pa sya sumasagot sa kabilang line. Me: Kapag hindi ka nagsalita. Ibababa ko to. 09XXXXXXXXX: Hello. Sorry na. Pinapakinggan ko ng mabuti ang boses nya pero hindi ko talaga kilala ang taong yon. Me: Nang-aasar ka ba? Kasi medyo napipikon na ako sayo. May klase ako, inistorbo mo. Kung gusto mo talaga makipagkaibigan, magpakilala ka, Friend 09XXXXXXXXX: Hahaha! OK ganito. Magpapakilala ako. Pero pumasok ka muna sa klase mo. Mamaya nalang tayo mag-usap ulit. OK ba yon? Me: Sige. Bye. After my class, tumawag sya at nagpakilala naman sya ng matino tulad ng pangako nya. Hindi parin ako naging komportable na makipagusap sa kanya. Pero naging consistent ang communication namin. Naging magkaibigan kami. Pero never kaming nagmeet ng personal. Wala sa plano yun e. Hanggang text and call lang talaga kami. Naging madalas ang pag-uusap namin sa phone araw-araw hanggang sa lumalim na nga ang pagtitinginan namin sa isa’t isa. Until naging 1st boyfriend na nga ako ni Riss. At 1st girlfriend ko naman sya. Nagtagal kami ng 3 years at noong pagkagraduate nya ng college noong 2014 as an Communication student, saka palang kami nagkita ng personal dahil nga sa naging lihim ang relasyon namin noong una. Hindi kaagad natanggap ng both sides namin ang relasyon namin. Pero dahil nga mahal na mahal namin ang isa’t isa, hindi kami sumuko at ipinaglaban namin ang relasyon naming dalawa. Tulad ng ibang relasyon ay dumaan kami sa mga matitinding problema. Tulad na nga lang noong March 2015... Sinamahan kong ang best friend kong si Viel sa isang bar to chill out after her break up with her boyfriend. Si Riss din ang nagsabi sa akin na samahan ko muna si Viel para may bestfriend na magcocomfort sa kanya. Knowing, Riss, she’s a very understanding person. Kung ibang babae na siguro, sobrang selos na nila sa girl best friend ng mga boyfriend nila pag sila ang magkasama. Pero si Riss? Mahal nya rin lahat ng taong mahal ko. She have so much trust in me. Until this one night came... SEQ. 3: BAR WITH VIEL PARTY MUSIC SFX PARTY PEOPLE SFX Viel: Come on, Gian? Drink. Me: Viel, no. Nandito lang ako para samahan ka. Icomfort ka. That’s it. Viel: Really? Panunuorin mo lang talaga akong uminom dito? Me: Oo. Viel: Fine. *takes a shot* Pero hindi lang ito ang gusto kong gawin... Me: What? Viel: *fiercer voice* Sumayaw.. Tumayo sya sa kinauupuan nya at agad na nawala sa harapan ko. Agad ko syang hinabol pero mukhang nahuli na ako. Me: Viel no! Come back here! Viel: No Gian! I wanna have some fun! Me: Viel, (I took her hand.) stop. OK? Let’s leave. Viel: No! Me: Look Viel! Alam kong hindi madali ang pinagdadaanan mo.. But listen to me! This won’t heal you. Getting drunk will make it even worse! So please! Let’s go back to our table, go back to your senses and let’s get you home. Dinala ko sya upuan nya and then natahimik kami ng ilang sandali. Then bigla syang nagsalita... Viel: I love you (With a drunk voice.) Napatingin ako sa kanya. I didn’t took her words seriously because she’s drunk. Me: I love you too, Viel. Best friend kita eh. I will always be here for you. Viel: (Smirks) Stop. Mahal kita, Gian. And I was too late. Dahil mahal na mahal mo sya. Nakita ko ang pagpatak ng luha ni Viel in dim lights. She really looks miserable. At dahil lasing sya, hindi ko alam kung totoo ba o hindi ang sinasabi nya. So I just let her talk. Viel: I never thought I was too late until nagkakilala kayo ni Riss. Ayokong maging dahilan ako para masira kayo. But I really do love you. Pero ayoko. Kaya hinayaan ko na at never na akong nagparamdam sayo. Ipinaubaya kita kay Riss. And I never thought na magtatagal kayo ng ganito. Kaya heto ako ngayon. Hinahanap ka sa ibang lalaki. Knowing that I just kept hurting myself forcing to love and to be in love with someone not like you! Me: Viel... You’re just drunk~ Viel: No, Gian! I am not JUST drunk! Don’t make it as an excuse. Dahil ako mismo, alam ko! Noon pa! Mahal na kita! But I don’t want to be the first one to say it. Dahil ayokong magmukhang desperada. Kaya tinago ko! At dahil sa katangahang yon. May natutunan ako. (She keeps crying..) If you felt something don’t hesitate to say it. Just let it go. Subukan mo baka may pagmamahal na bumalik sayo habang pwede pa kayo. Pero kung wala talaga, atleast you tried. Ako kasi, hindi ko sinubukan habang pwede pa. Kung kailan hindi na, saka ko sinusubukan. Nagbabaka sakali ako na iwanan mo sya para sa akin. After kong masabi sayo na mahal kita Gian. Mahal na mahal kita. Pero wala eh. Talo. Talong talo. Napatungo ako. I don’t know what to say to her. I really want to make her feel better. Pero hindi ko alam kung sa paanong paraan. Me: Viel, mahal ko si Riss. Sobrang mahal na mahal ko sya. Kaya i’m sorry. Mahal din kita. Bilang kapatid, matalik na kaibigan at kuya mo. Hindi magiging dahilan ang confession na to para magkagap ang friendship natin. I promise. Now, let’s get you home, OK? Inalalayan ko si Viel palabas ng bar and isasakay ko na sana sya sa kotse nang bigla nya akong halikan. Nashock ako and I accidentally push her away from me. Me: Viel! Rason para makita ko si Riss na sumunod pala sa amin pagkatapos nya sa trabaho. Alam kong nakita ni Riss ang paghalik sa akin ni Viel. Pero wala naman akong balak itanggi sa kanya kahit na nagkukunwari sya na walang nakita. Nang malaman nya na iuuwi ko na si Viel that time, tinulungan nya ako na isakay si Viel sa kotse pero hindi sa back seat. Sa passenger seat pinaupo ni Riss sa Viel katabi ko at sya ang nasa back seat. Napuno ng tension ang loob ng kotse. Tahimik lang kaming lahat sa buong byahe. Hindi ko alam kung tulog ba talaga si Viel dahil bigla syang nawalan ng malay nang matunugan na nandoon si Riss. Nang maihatid namin si Viel, hindi pa rin lumipat si Riss sa front seat. Malapit na kami sa bahay nya nang makita ko sya sa rear view mirror na umiiyak ng tahimik. Tinigil ko ang kotse at bumaba. Pinuntahan ko sya sa back seat. Binuksan ko ang pinto at pinilit kong mayakap sya. She keeps on crying. I don’t even know what to say until words came out from my mouth. Me: I am so sorry. I am so sorry, Riss. Please stop crying. Hind ko sinasadya. I am so sorry. Mahal kita. Mahal na mahal kita. Patawarin mo ako. I am sorry. Naramdaman ko nalang ang mga kamay nya sa likod ko. Ginagantihan nya ang yakap ko. Napaluha din ako ng mga oras na yon. Nasaktan ko na naman ang babaeng mahal ko. Riss: I love you too, Gian. So much. Nang marinig ko yon, nangako ako sa sarili ko na hindi ko na sya sasaktan ulit. She’s too good for me. Mapagpatawad, understanding, mapagmahal... she’s too perfect. So I promised na hindi ko na sya sasaktan. Hindi ko na sya pakakawalan. Di ko maitatanggi na mula noon, unti-unti syang nagbago. Oo selosa sya noon. Pero hindi obvious. Pero alam ko, kaya madalas, ako na mismo ang umiiwas para lang hindi na sya magselos. Isa pang napansin kong pagbabago sa kanya, kapag may mga lakad ako, madalas na syang magtanong kung kasama ko si Viel. Sumasagot nalang ako ng hindi, kasi hindi naman talaga. Hindi ko na ulit binibring up yung topic tungkol sa nangyari noong gabing lasing si Viel. July 2015, nagpasya na ako na magpropose kay Riss. Pinaghandaan ko na lahat kasama na ang pagpapaalam sa magulang, pamilya at kaibigan nya. Ipinaalam ko din sa pamilya ko tungkol sa desisyon ko. October 2015 naman kami ikinasal. Masasabi ng iba na minadale ko. Pero para sa akin, hindi naman. Planado ko ito lahat. Pinakasalan ko si Riss hindi dahil sa guilt sa kasalanan ko, kundi dahil mahal na mahal ko sya. At walang dahilan para pakawalan ko pa sya. Nakita ko ang ligaya ni Riss nang magpropose ako sa kanya hanggang sa kasal naming dalawa. Non ko lang nakita si Riss na sobrang saya. At tulad nya, sobra din ang tuwa ko nang isa na syang Riss Sarmiento-De Castro. Naging mas matibay ang pagmamahalan at relasyon namin ni Riss. At yun din ang akala ko. Until one day, this was January 2016. Umuwi ako ng halos maghahatinggabi na galing trabaho. Manager kasi ako ng isang fast food chain and I need to do some reports para sa kinabukasan. Nagpaalam naman na ako non kay Riss, pero hindi ko inakala na hihintayin nya pa ako. Pagpasok ko ng condo unit namin sa Paranaque, naabutan ko pa sya na nakaupo sa living room. SEQ. 4: CONDO WITH RISS OPEN AND CLOSE DOOR SFX Me: Babe? Bakit gising ka pa? Riss: Saan ka galing? Me: Sa resto. Di ba nagtext ako sayo? Tinawagan pa kita kanina na mag-oover time ako para sa preparations ng reports for tomorrow. Riss: May kasama ka ba? Me: Po? Wala po akong kasama. Ako lang mag-isa. Umuwi na lahat ng staff at crew e. May problema ba? Riss: Problema? Nag-oover time ka naman noon ah? Hindi ganito katagal. Gaano ba kadaming reports ang ginagawa mo ha, Gian? At inaabot ka ng hatinggabi? 12:30!? Noong isang araw, 11pm. Naging 12am, ngayon, 12:30 na? Sa susunod? Ano na Gian? 1AM!? Me: Riss, would you please calm down? Pagod ako. Kaya sana naman intindihin mo yung trabaho ko. I need to work double time for us, babe. I am sorry. Pero please? Nasaan na yung tiwala mo sa akin? Nangako ako, sa harapan ng altar at sa pamilya at mga kaibigan mo na ikaw lang ang mamahalin ko. So please, hold on to that, Riss. I love you so much. At ikaw lang. I need to earn money kasi gusto ko na din magkababy tayo. (Niyakap ko sya from behind and kiss her cheaks.) I am sorry na babe ha? I love you. (Mukha namang nahimasmasan sya sa sinabi ko..) Riss: Sorry din babe. I was just worried about you. Ayaw kitang napapagod. Ayoko din na mawalan ka ng time para sa akin. I love you too so much Gian. Please. Wag mo akong iiwan. Me: Hindi mangyayari yon, Riss. I will always have time and find time for you and for us. Mahal na mahal kita. Hinding-hindi kita iiwanan. [2nd Part] Simula non, as much as possible, hindi na ako nagpapaover time. Pero minsan, hindi pa rin talaga maiiwasan pero para maiwasan ang pagtatampuhan, dinadala ko nalang sa condo ang mga trabaho ko at don ko tinatapos. Pagkatapos ay nilalambing ko sya at halos hindi ko na sya bitawan buong magdamag. Isang gabi nga, napaiyak ko pa sya sa sobrang tuwa dahil ramdam na ramdan nya daw ang pagmamahal ko. Totoo naman na mahal na mahal ko sya. Na kahit pati ang mundo, ibibigay ko sa kanya. Pati ang pangarap nya magtravel, pinaghahandaan ko. Gusto kong matupad ang lahat ng pangarap nya. Lahat-lahat, ibibigay ko sa kanya. Pero sadyang dumadating ang mga pagkakataon kung saan sinusubukan talaga ng tadhana ang pagmamahal mo sa isang tao. Kung hanggang saan ang kaya mong ibigay at kung kailan ka susuko. Paggising ko ng umaga, wala akong pasok non, kaya ipinaghanda ko kaagad sya ng masarap na almusal. Nang maihanda ko na lahat, agad ko syang binalikan sa kwarto para gisingin. Pero mukhang nagising na sya dahil naabutan ko na sya sa CR. Pero sumusuka sya. Pupuntahan ko na sana sya sa CR sa pag-aalala ko pero biglang tumunog ang cellphone nya. CALL TUNE SFX Incoming Call... GLENN Nagtaka ako. Kilala ko yung Glenn. Kaibigan nya ito simula noong highschool at sa pagkakakwento nya sa akin noon, may gusto sa kanya ang lalaki at niligawan sya ng maraming taon. Pero ako na hamak lang na nakilala nya sa text ang sinagot nya at yun nga, kami na nga nagkatuluyan ni Riss. Pero yun nga ang ipinagtataka ko. May mga tanong na sumagi sa utak ko na ayaw ko maisip at ayaw ko nang itanong sa kanya. Kailan pa sila nag-uusap? Bakit hindi naman nya nabanggit sa akin? Bakit sya tinatawagan ni Glenn? Anong meron sa kanila? Hindi ko na napansin na lumabas na pala sya sa CR dahil nakatitig ako sa tumatawag sa cellphone nya. Para akong nabuhusan ng malamig na tubig nang tawagin ako ni Riss. Riss: Babe? Me: Oh? OK ka lang ba? Riss: O-oo... Inubo kasi ako kaya ganon. Anyway, good morning. (We kiss on the lips.) Me: Good morning babe. Sya nga pala, tumawag si Glenn. Yung highschool friend mo? Riss: Ah? Ha? Talaga? Sige, hayaan mo na sya. Baka magyayaya lang sila na lumabas. (Hinawakan ko ang bewang nya at lumabas na kami ng kwarto papunta sa dining.) Me: Ganon ba? E bakit di ka sumama? Masaya yon. Riss: Wag na. Dito nalang ako. Ayokong iwan ka mag-isa. Kaya ka nga di pumasok para sa akin tapos iiwanan kita? Me: Sasama ako. Pwede naman yon di ba? Di rin pumunta si Glenn sa kasal na tin. Di ko pa ulit sya nakikita simula noong first time tayo nagmeet sa bahay nyo. Hehe! Riss: Haha! Oo nga no? Pero wag na babe. Wala ako sa mood makipagkita sa kanya e. Gusto ko ikaw lang ang kasama ko ngayon. Ang sarap naman ng breakfast ko babe. Me: Hm. (smiles) Oo naman. Ikaw pa. Upo ka na. Ipagsasandok na kita. Riss: I love you babe. Me: I love you too. Hindi ko alam kung bakit iba ang pakiramdam ko noon. Parang may mali. May hindi tama. Pakiramdam ko may dapat akong malaman. Pero hindi ko alam kung bakit hindi ko nagawang sabihin kay Riss. Siguro dahil ayoko syang masaktan sa mga salitang lalabas sa bibig ko kung may gusto man akong malaman. Naniniwala naman ako na hindi ako sasaktan ni Riss. Dahil may tiwala ako sa kanya. At ngayong nakabawi na rin ako sa tiwalang nasira ko noon, wala na akong balak pa na sirain yon. Pangangalagaan ko na yon habang buhay. Hanggang sa isang araw.... (Sa trabaho, bigla akong may natanggap na tawag sa office.) Crew: Sir, phone call po. Me: Sino daw? Crew: Di ko po kilala sir. Basta ang sabi po kayo daw ang hanap. Me: Sige, sige. Asikasuhin mo muna dito. Crew: Sige po sir. Me: Hello? Male Voice: Yes hello? Is this Mr. De Castro? Me: Speaking. Male Voice: OK Sir. Nurse po ako from St. Peter Hospital. Nandito po ang asawa nyo ngayon. Me: What?! Anong nangyari sa kanya? Nurse: Sir, don’t worry po. Dala lang po ng pagkahilo ang nangyari sa asawa nyo. Hinimatay po sya sa loob ng condo unit nyo at agad naman po syang naitakbo dito sa ospital sa tulong po ng kapitbahay nyo. Me: Thank you Lord! Ano ba talagang nangyari? Pero sige, pupunta nalang ako dyan. I’ll be there. Pagdating ko doon, wala akong ibang naramdaman kundi takot. Natakot ako na baka may sakit ang asawa ko. At di ko man lang nalaman dahil sa sobrang busy ko sa trabaho. Kaya siguro gusto nya ng maraming oras para sa aming dalawa. Kung anu-ano na ang naiisip ko noon. Hanggang sa makausap ko ang doktor at don ko na nalaman ang lahat at ang buong katotohanan. Me: Dok? Ano po ba talagang nangyari sa asawa ko? Bakit sya hinimatay? Doctor: Congratulations, Mr. De Castro, you’re wife is 2 months pregnant! Maselan ang pagbubuntis ng asawa mo. Dapat hindi sya napapagod at naiistress. Dapat hindi mo sya iniiwan mag-isa. Lagi mo syang samahan. Kailangan mo lang ng konting pasensya dahil nga sa maselan ang pagbubuntis nya, maaapektuhan ang attitude nya. One of these days, magiging moody ang asawa mo~ Me: She’s 2 months pregnant? Doctor: Y-yes, Mr. De Castro. Is there something wrong? Me: (Natahimik ako ng ilang saglit sa pagkabigla.) W-wala doc. I’m happy. Magiging tatay na ako. Salamat doc. Sige po. Puntahan ko muna ang asawa ko. Agad akong pumasok ng kwarto nya. Mahimbing pa rin ang tulog ng asawa ko. Hindi ko na napigilan ang emosyon ko. Bumuhos ang luha sa mga mata ko. Nabuo ang galit sa dibdib ko. Gusto kong sumigaw pero hindi ko magawa. Umiyak ako ng umiyak hanggang sa napaupo na ako sa sahig. Gusto kong magwala. Dahil alam kong hindi ako ang ama ng bata. Mula nang ikasal kami, napagkasunduan namin na hindi muna kami magkakaanak. Saka na pag napaghandaan na namin ang lahat ng pangangailangan ng bata. Kaya paano mabubuntis ang asawa ko? Hanggang sa napagtagpi-tagpi ko ang lahat. Ayokong maniwala, pero yon ang pumapasok sa utak ko. Si Glenn ang ama ng bata. May nangyari sa kanila ni Glenn, 2 months ago. Pero paano? Bakit di ko man lamang napansin? Bakit ang tanga-tanga ko!! Pakiramdam ko napaka wala kong kwentang asawa non. Nagising si Riss habang ako nakatingin sa kanya. Wala pa akong tulog. Dahil hindi ko pa rin maalis sa isip ko ang nalaman ko. Me: Good morning? Riss: Good morning babe. What happened to me? Wala akong maalala. Me: You collapsed. Sabi nung kapitbahay natin sa unit. Nurse ng ospital ang tumawag sa akin sa resto. I was so worried about you. (teary-eyed) (paiyak na boses) Riss: I am sorry, babe. Naabala pa kita sa trabaho mo. Me: It’s alright babe. I’ve got good news for you. Riss: Ano yon, babe? I don’t know even know how to say it right. If that’s even a good news. Maybe not for us or for me? But for her. So nagpakatotoo nalang ako. I smiled first to show her positivity. And besides, it’s her right to know. Me: Magkakaanak ka na, babe. You’re pregnant. On that moment, natahimik sya. Looks like she didn’t know what to say. Hinawakan ko ang kamay nya. At buong lakas ako nagtanong. Ayoko syang mabigla dahil makakasama sa bata. Me: Babe, all I want is the truth from you. Kahit anong mangyari, asawa mo ako at mahal na mahal kita. Are you seeing, Glenn? Riss: Babe~ Me: Babe, just say yes or no. I want this to be easy for us. Makakasama sa bata. (Pumatak na ang luha ko. At nakita kong pumatak din ang luha nya.) Riss: Yes babe. (crying) Me: Until now? Riss: No babe. Iniiwasan ko na sya~ Me: shh... I believe you babe. But one last question babe... Riss: (sobbing) Me: Did you slept with him? (Hindi kaagad nakasagot si Riss dahil sa patuloy nyang pag-iyak. Sa totoo lang Popoy at Jasmin, ayokong malaman ang impormasyong yon. Pero ito lang ang paraan para matahimik ako.) Riss: I’m sorry babe. I’m so sorry Gian. I love you. Me: Babe, calm down. Stop. Shhh.. Shh.. I love you too babe. Bawal mastress si baby. Calm down, babe. I just want to know the truth. That’s all. And we’re done. Kahit anong mangyari, di kita iiwan. Sumumpa ako sa harap ng Diyos at sa pamilya mo. Hindi kita iiwan. Mahal na mahal kita. So, babe, did you slept with Glenn? Riss: (Still sobbing..) Yes babe. I’m so sorry. Hindi ko sinasadya, babe. Mahal kita. Mahal na mahal kita. Me: I believe you babe. Stop crying na. I believe you. I love you so much. Thank you babe for being honest. I love you. Tahan na. I kissed her forehead. Kaagad kong pinatawad si Riss. Pati na rin ang sarili ko dahil alam ko na may pagkukulang din ako bilang asawa sa kanya. Nakipagkita ako kay Glenn. Pero bago ang maayos na pag-uusap, hindi ko napigilang sapakin sya. Inalok ko ang kamay ko para tulungan syang tumayo. Humingi din naman sya ng tawad. At tulad ng ginawa ko, pinatawad ko kaagad si Glenn. Hindi ko sya tinanggalan ng karapatan sa bata. Dahil alam kong karapatan nya yon bilang ama. Mahirap man, pero nagkasundo kami na sa pitong araw sa isang linggo, tatlong beses syang makakabisita sa anak nya. Kahit habang buntis palang si Riss sa anak nila. Maraming nagsasabi sa akin na ang tanga-tanga ko at ang sobrang martyr ko daw. Pero, masisisi ba nila ako kung ayaw kong mawala sa akin ang asawa ko? Ang babaeng pinangarap ko buong buhay ko? Ang babaeng inalayan ko ng buo kong pagmamahal at sakripisyo? Ang babaeng kasama kong sumumpa sa simbahan ng panghabang buhay? Lahat naman ng tao, nagkakamali. Kahit ako, nasira ko din ang tiwala ng asawa ko sa akin. Pero dahil sa pagmamahal ko, nabuo ko ulit yon. Sigurado ako na mahal ako ng asawa ko. Kaya alam kong anumang oras ay mabubuo din ang nabasag na tiwala. Lahat ng nagmamahal ay gagawin lahat para sa taong mahal nila. Pasensya, pursigi, pagpapatawad, pagpaparaya, pagsasakripisyo, pagtitiwala, pagpapalaya at pagtitiis. Kahit ilang beses pa, ibibigay ko to kay Riss. Kasama ang panghabang buhay na pagmamahal.

[ohsweetsweettooth]

video title: 20 QUESTIONS GAME [ft HUSBAND!!!!!!] [L]

desc: Donovan and I found an old 20 Questions game at the store, he was really surprised they still existed!!!!! We bought it and decided to see if it could guess what we’re thinking of!

 BUY DONOVAN’S NEW ALBUM, SOMBER SUNSET! [link] Donovan’s channel! [link] Donovan’s Twitter! [link] Donovan’s Instagram! [link]

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[cutesy intro title, zigzag swipes into bubble letters reading “20 QUESTIONS GAME”]

[Camera is fixed to them seated under a kotatsu (decorated in cinamaroll merch), a pastel pink couch fill of sanrio items and some out of place-looking halloween plushes. Spice is wearing a long sleeved pastel blue shirt with a fried egg on the left breast, with a little pan clip in his icing. Donovan is wearing a black shirt that says ‘VIP’ on it in yellow, with no additional captioning. His hair is more casual than usual, but still in a pompadour. On top of the table is a blue 20 questions machine, two starbucks drinks, and a bottle of water]

Spice: [waves] Hello, cupcakes! Welcome to the show!

Don: [waves at the camera, then goes back to watching spice talk]

Spice: So today, I’m with my husband Donovan! [Donovan smiles, but bites his lips to hide it] We got our hands on this little game called 20 Questions [shows the game to the camera, music in the BG stops as it unfocuses. Donovan chuckles as he tries again] [to Donovan] for such an expensive camera, you think it’d focus on what’s in front of it. [camera focuses on the game]

Don: it heard you talking shit [laughs]

Spice: [grins and sits back down] Well, hopefully it won’t be too angry, if that’s the case. [to the camera] So, this thing is supposed to be able to guess what you’re thinking of! But since it’s like... A programmed little egg... thing... it can only guess out of a few categories. Vegetable.... Mineral, which are like, rocks and stuff, I think? Isn’t water a mineral?

Don: Uh, fuck if I know. [beat] No, it ain’t. Mineral water’s got minerals and shit in it.

Spice: So waters-- vegetable, mineral... unknown, concept... and animal. Donovan’s gonna do the first one! [hands Donovan the game]

Don: ‘Kay... Let’s see... Ya think it will guess the concept a’ death, dude?

Spice: [snorts] Maybe.

Don: Concept... ‘Does it break if dropped...’ The fuck? How the hell would a fuckin’ concept-- you can’t even hold a concept.

Spice: [laughs]

Don: I guess, fuckin... Unknown. Next... ‘Does it make music?’ Fuck no. ‘Is it straight?’ This thing doesn’t know its own catagories. It’s retarded, dude...

Spice: Are you sure you clicked on Concept?

Don: Yeah. [snorts] We’ll see if it gets it. I mean, fuckin’ Akinator was a dumbshit too but it still guessed you.  ‘Can you touch it?’ No.

Spice: Oh yeah! I forgot to explain the point! It tries to read your mind and guess what you’re thinking by asking you 20 questions! If it gets it wrong, it’ll try 30.

Don: You already told them that.

Spice: Oh. [bites lip and grabs coffee] It’s 5am what do you expect.

Don: [smiles at him] ‘Is it outside’ I mean, I guess it’s everywhere. But yeah...

Spice: What if it guesses the sky.

Don: This was much cooler when I was younger. Well, 20, but I was easily impressed [snorts].

Spice: It’s still cool to me! Too Bad it’s, like, obsolete now!

Don: They discontinued these, like, a year before I met you. Traded 20q in exchange for a cute husband.

Spice: Since we have one of these now, do you have to trade me in?

Don: Nah. Shit trade. Oh, the game [looks at it] ‘Is it delicious’ Yo. What the fuck. No. ‘Is is orange?’ No. ‘Dangerous?’ Yes. ‘Can it speak?’ Fuckin’... metaphorically but it’s askin’ me if it’s orange so I’m gonna put no.

Spice: ‘Do you find it in the sky?’ Maybe the concept of death isn’t in this handheld game for kids.

[SFX of the death march, zooms in on the 20q game and gets distorted. back to normal music and format]

Don: They’re fuckin’ pussies.

Spice: [scoffs, laughs] God!

Don: ‘Will it eat almost anything?’ No-- WWAIT, SHIT, go back.. Yes. ‘Does it come from something larger’

Spice: Ooh, that’s really deep.

Don: Didn’t expect it to get exisential. Fuckin... [giggles] Fuck, I dunno... Unknown. That’s an ominous fuckin’ answer too, ain’t it?

Spice: It fits the mood! I should have worn some darker clothes.

Don: You can borrow mine. ‘Do you use it in public?’ God. Damn it. We ain’t gonna get it, guys.

Spice: That’s a surprise.

Don: [absently] You’re gonna write my next song with rhymes like those, man.

[edit, zooms in on spice and puts a crown png over him and big bold letters that say ‘PROMOTED’]

Don: Flexible? Sure. Round? [massages his temples] God... This fuckin’ thing...

Spice: I don’t think you’re giving it a fair chance, though. It *is* discontinued. And from two-thousand something. It’s 2017!

Don: No excuse. Can you smell it... Yes. [beat] [snorts] [laughs] Does it..... hahaha, fu-fuck, [giggles] Does it have-- does it fuckin’ have paws... [snorts] fuck no.

Spice: [giggling] What number was that?

Don: Fuckin’ 16... Oh my god, he’s gettin’ too fuckin’ hauty. He’s guessin’ it.

[jeapordy music. Spice and Donovan lean to view the handheld]

[both laugh]

Spice: A *dragon*?! What the hell?? [laughs]

Don: Holy shit. What a fuckin’ dumbass... Fuckin’ no, you dumbshit [giggles] Now it’s asking if it has a tail. Is it smoke? No. Oh my god, dude, it’s desperate. Askin’ if it’s garbage... Wrongo-fuckin’-dongo, ya dingus.

Spice: You’re stumping it!

Don: Unless these next few questions are really specific, I’m gonna win. And I’m gonna treat myself to some fuckin’ pie.

Spice: For all this stress, you really deserve it.

Don: Don’t get snarky, sweet cheeks, I out-thought a kid’s toy from the 2000′s. Hard work.

Spice: [snorts]

Don: Living? No. Useful? Yeah, I guess. Wait-- sometimes. Okay, does it fuckin... come in many varieties? Yes.

Spice: definitely.

Don: It guessed passion. It actually guessed a concept this time, so good on it. Should I do close, or wrong, ya think?

Spice: Um... Hm... [taps chin] I would go no.

Don: Kay. No. Can liquids pass through it? I’m gonna go back and choose passion to close.

[edit #DonTheGrammarMaster as he says ‘choose passion to close’]

Don: Does it grow over time?

Spice: It’s gonna guess love now.

Don: I’m gonna go no. Is it annoying? Sometimes. Oh shit! He guesses a fuckin’ zombie. Man... he’s close, dude.

Spice: That might be the closest it can get!

Don: Located in the sky? Shit, it keeps bringin’ my fuckin’ hopes up...

Spice: I mean, heaven is, isn’t it?

Don: [in a hushed voice to Spice] Heaven ain’t real.

Spice: It might be to the game!

Don: I’ll go ‘sometimes’. It guessed ghost. Shit, man, I got it. That’s 29.

Spice: Aww, he was close!

Don: Yeah. Now he guessed lightning bolt like a fucktard. Oh shit, I won! [gets up quickly and leaves the frame, Spice watches him go, come back, and grab his coffee]

[edit shows a blurry frame of Don’s face and puts a fancy crown on it, sfx confetti, and says WINNER in bold, gold letters]

Spice: [to Donovan] Come back when you’re done so we can do the outro!

Donovan: [off-camera, far] Alright babe.

[cut]

[Spice has a slice of pie too, Donovan is eating his]

Spice: Well, that went like I thought it would! Thank you guys for watching, but sadly the game didn’t win... Join me and Donovan next time when we try out some new M&Ms!

Don: Fuck yeah. [pauses] I hope you don’t lose monetization cuz I fuckin’ cuss so much.

Spice: [laughs] I don’t, I just put a warning. [to camera] See you cupcakes later!

Don: See ya.

[outro card linking to other videos and social media]