#(roommate is just like. existentially exhausted by Being Here. & i totally get it. that's a reasonable response.)

[machinavocis]

tl;dr the last 24 hours:

roommate & i have decided we will, in fact, be getting the fuck out of utah.

but where the fuck out that will be, we have almost no clue.

& so the quest begins.

[hecohansen31]

Hi ! If you still do requests can you do xavier x reader where the reader was his friend or best friend before he died at camp redwood and they come to the camp to pay respects but somehow find out he’s a ghost and the readers really sad for him because he’s stuck there forever and he comforts them but also the reader keeps going back there to hang out with him ? If so then thank you xx

(A/N): Hello there, lovely!

I keep this extremely platonic, because you said friend/best friend, but if you ever want to see something more romantic, as soon as I get better I might try to work onto a Latin Nerd! Reader and Xavier, if anyone is interested!

Plus I tried to keep the gender of the reader neutral, let me know if I sucked at it or I mgiht try again or any other suggestion!

Have fun reading and thank you for requesting, I honestly love writing for Xavier!

WARNINGS: Death, Loss, Grieving, Mention of Sexual Trauma (Xavier’s Tape) and Druge Abuse, Slight Description of Murder!

Your best friend was an asshole.

But he was your asshole.

And when you had heard that he had lost his life in the Camp Redwood’s massacre your heart had stopped beating for one minute, before the glass of milk you had in your right hand escaped your hold and crashed to the ground.

At first you had thought it was a simple mistake and only when your roommate had cradled you in her arms, you had realized that he was truly gone and had screamed till your lungs had given out and exhaustion has passed over you.

You and Xavier were a rather unlikely friendship: you were the normal teen who had gone through high school being unnoticed, coming from a normal family.

You had met Xavier at an aerobic class, you had taken in college to meet other people.

Xavier was the popular guy, cooler than anybody, although he had a rather sordid past, which he had once confessed you about over too many beers and almost getting recognized from a guy at a party for his “tape”.

Your usually outgoing friend had paled and you had practically fought off the guy, after you had tried to hug your friend, and he had pushed you away, convinced that you hated him now that you knew all the truth and for the following days he had done nothing more than trying to convince you that you shouldn’t stick with him, anymore.

“I was a druggie, (Y/N)” he had mumbled, meanwhile you put all your aerobic things in your backpack, after your class.

“… Xavier you are not anymore and that is what matters” you had replied in your most sincere tone, not caring for anything but your friend being healthy and comfortable around you.

“I shot gay porn, (Y/N)” he had exclaimed once you were over at your house, since your roommate was gone and you were too scared to be alone at home, so you had invited him over, in order to have some take out and watch maybe some horror movies, since he liked so much “… and I am not even gay”.

“Xavier shut up and pass the pop-corn” and then you had heard him sniffling behind you, and when you had turned around to face him, you had found him crying with watery eyes and immediately you had moved from a sarcastic tone to a more comforting “… do you seriously think that I would judge you for something so stupid?”

“Well… everybody else would” he cowered a bit and you brought him in a sudden hug, trying to decide whether or not to tighten your grip onto him or not, whether it would scare him off or not.

But it was Xavier who gripped back into your welcoming hands.

“… I am not everybody else, Xavier” you had replied, meanwhile he had loaded his entire tears in your pretty pajama, but you hadn’t minded “… I am your best friend”.

“I know that…” he had mumbled, once he had realized you weren’t running already “… but I am a mess”.

“Well then…” you had pushed back a bit from the hug, seeing true fear in his eyes “… hi ‘I am a mess’, I am (Y/N)”.

That had gained you an elbow to your stomach, but it was worth it, just to see Xavier laugh himself silly.

Slowly you had broken apart, you hadn’t known what why and how, with certainty, probably the fact that with you both starting to work in different areas, you had found yourself around different type of people, although you would always find some time for each other, in your “busy” schedule.

That summer at Camp Redwood, you hadn’t thought it would end up so bloody and badly, although you had felt bad leaving your best friend go there alone, but you had had some work issues, which might bring you the promotion you had been aching for, since you had started your job.

“I’ll send you postcards” had smirked Xavier the day before he left for Camp Redwood, meanwhile you had just smacked his ass and told him not to get in trouble with the underage ladies.

“I am not going to be there to bail your ass out” you had promised him, before kissing his cheek goodbye and waving till his famous ‘vanta-c’ had disappeared from your sight.

Now, at his funeral, you hadn’t been able to fathom the fact that your last words to him had been that silly and halfway through the function you had to be escorted out because you had started puking, panicking, and you hadn’t even been able to utter your discourse for him.

In the end you hadn’t even known, if you would have been able to say it, since it held some kind of privacy that you weren’t able to explain to so many people who didn’t know Xavier, many, in the crowd, were strangers and some of aerobic teammates, but you were the only one who had known him, through everything.

And you hadn’t been with him that night.

Every time the Redwood massacre would come on the screen, the people around you would change channel, thinking that you didn’t want to be remembered of that, since he had been so dear with you.

What they didn’t know was that you were almost morbidly obsessive with every detail of his death, as if knowing could make you go back in time and bring him back.

It took you three years to go to Camp Redwood: the first year it had been too early, the second year you had buried yourself in your work not to think about it, and the third year you had once laughed at something because it had reminded you of something Xavier had said.

And when you had turned to tell him, you hadn’t found him.

You had cried all your tears, when you had come back home, and realized that he was gone.

Nothing for you to grip onto, and as a way to exorcise the hurt you had chosen to visit Camp Redwood, alone, at least so that you could give Xavier your own discourse and lay some flower onto the place he had died, which you knew from the obsessive attention that media and Margaret Booth, the only survivor of the carnage, had given it.

You had chosen for the bouquet of flowers red carnations, camelias and finally yellow cowslips, all flowers that you were sure Xavier would absolutely love, since they were almost as bright as Xavier’s personality.

You had wandered for the camp, feeling a sense of uneasiness, not only because you were on the scene of a massacre, but most importantly because you felt like you were being watched, the entire time, feeling the weird sensation of being constantly watched but whenever you would turn around worried, you’d see nothing.

You were just being paranoid.

When you had finally found the place of Xavier’s death, you were surprised that it held some kind of strange objects on it, almost as a weird collector’s treasure.

You had moved to remove something so that you could lay your flowers on the ground, but you had heard a shout, a rather familiar shout.

“Hey! Don’t touch my shit!”.

You remembered a similar phrase being uttered when you had once tried to clean Xavier’s room, since it had pizza’s crusts on his desk that he had once almost used it as a tissue.

You turned around, sure that you were having some trouble listening, a hallucination that went by the ears, since you had heard it happened both in desert and both when you… well…

When you were losing your mind.

But as you turned, Xavier stood in front of you, definitely much neater than a hallucination.

Although you had been the one shocked, Xavier looked at you confused, as if he hadn’t expected to see you again, not that you had thought about it, since well… he was supposed to be dead…

“(Y/N)?” he asked as if he was the one who was supposed to be surprised of seeing you there.

“You are dead” you mumbled, much more to reassure the concept to you than to actually state the obvious, meanwhile the flowers you had in your hand, fell to the ground, the beautiful petals ruining a bit, but you didn’t care, stepping closer, till…

… till you realized this wasn’t mechanically and humanly possible.

And you were more likely having some kind of psychotic breakdown.

“Yeah, I am pretty sure I am dead” he confirmed, and you were sure that whatever you had smoke on your way to the Camp Redwood must have been laced with some kind of hallucinogenic drug “… but what are you doing here?”.

Although this entire situation was impossible, the fact that Xavier was actually being a smartass about it was totally in his character.

“… you are a… ghost?” you couldn’t help but feel dumb, even more when Xavier raised an eyebrow at you in a “duh” kind of expression, meanwhile you were having an existential crisis, your knees buckling under you and you fell down, your best friend rushing to you, but not having any contact with you.

“Kind of, I mean… I did die and come back, but I am not anything like you see in those movies”.

“At least, you didn’t come back as Jason, in Friday the 13th” Xavier had forced you to watch that idiotic movie, meanwhile you screamed all your voice and Xavier giggled at your fear.

“That would have made a disservice to the world…” he replied cockily, nearing even closer once he saw that you were tearing up, his hands almost brushing next to your face, but you felt nothing more than cold air on your face, the obvious show that you it was just an hallucination “… (N/N) please don’t cry, you make an horrible face, whenever you do it and you might get wri…”.

“Xavier, did you kill the bitch that trespassed?” a female voice, announced Montana, Xavier’s ex-girlfriend, who you had a kind of stiff relationship, since she was low key jealous of your relationship with Xavier, no matter the fact that you didn’t have any romantic feelings for each other.

‘It would be like doing it with a brother’ you had mumbled once to her face, but she hadn’t looked too convinced, hence you had backed off.

You and Montana shared a tense look, meanwhile Xavier was caught between the battle, but didn’t backdown, almost shielding you with his body.

“Montana, it’s (Y/N), you do remember her, don’t you?”.

Of course, she did, and the fire in her eyes hadn’t dulled but you tried your best to smile, meanwhile you tried your best not to question what the heck was going on, meanwhile two of people you were sure were supposed to be dead were speaking in front of you.

“… what the heck are you doing here, (Y/N)?”.

You couldn’t help but wonder what was going on and feel extremely under her judgement.

“I thought about paying my respect to my best friend” you turned to Xavier, since his opinion was the only one that mattered, although you feared Montana’s initial words “… who I thought was dead, till a few minutes ago”.

“We all died” muttered Montana under her breath “… Brooke killed me”.

It surprised you greatly, because, although the jury had found Brooke’s guilty, you hadn’t, but if Montana spoke truly (and from the look of her angered face, she was)…

“Margaret killed me” rumbled Xavier and you were even more shocked, because Margaret had been the true final girl of the Camp’s massacre, and although you hadn’t liked that woman, you would have never thought she would have been able to kill somebody “… but you already know it, don’t you?”.

You were already shocked that they were alive, to think about that they didn’t know nothing about the outside world…

… it made it real.

Like it wasn’t you being crazy.

They were truly ghosts.

“… no, Brooke was framed for your murders, they said that she went mad and… “.

Xavier’s face seemed suddenly traumatized, meanwhile Montana smirked pleased.

“Well, she did stab me…”.

“But she didn’t kill us all, I can’t believe that Margaret went away that easily…”.

“I can’t believe that ghosts do exist” you complained, bringing both their attention to them and meanwhile Montana just sent you one last dirty look, before running away, Xavier looked at you surprised, and his own eyes were watery.

“… I… know that this is confusing…”.

“I am pretty sure that I am having a mental breakdown” you mumbled, meanwhile your hand went to your hair as you tried to calm yourself down.

“I was pretty sure I would never see you again” his words brought you back from the panic attack that you were having, and you saw sadness in his face, knowing perfectly what your best friend was feeling and wanting to bring him in an hug.

It was the first time ever you thought that maybe… maybe things were true.

Ghosts did exist.

“… after I died, I was in this state of constant limbo, I was unable to meet again with the others and the first thing that I thought about was you, how I would never hear you laugh at my clumsy accidents, or your sweet lectures… that I would never be able to meet you again”.

“Well, even Death didn’t get you away from me” you joked, and this time tears did fall from your face, and Xavier brought you in a hug.

But you didn’t feel hugged, although again some breeze did go through your body, and when you opened your eyes to look you saw Xavier’s limbs going through your body in a rather impressive vision that got you finally accepting the truth.

Ghosts did exist.

Your friend was one of them.

But… in all this, you had met your friend again.

You had spent the rest of that day catching up on each other (you had literally regretted that Xavier was a ghost now, because you couldn’t shove him off, when he asked about how many girls were crying at his funeral) and at the end, when night had come over, and even Xavier looked scared for you, he had pushed you to leave.

But how could you leave when now you knew all the truth and you had met your friend back, you had had him back, although you couldn’t hug him and physically touch him.

“(Y/N), you have to go back” but you didn’t want to, you never wanted to “… we are all ghosts here, who would you bone?”.

Again, you felt bad you weren’t able to wack him across the face.

“You are saying this just because you don’t want me to bone Chet”.

“I thought you had higher standard, (Y/N)” he had shot back, lowering his glasses.

“Don’t ‘higher standard me’ when you wanted to fuck Chef Bertie”.

“Chef Bertie is the true deal, babe” he commented simply, before becoming again serious “… but I am serious, you can’t spend your alive life with a ghost, I have seen movies about it and I don’t think that it never ever ends well… so please just live”.

“My life sucks without you, Xavier” you confessed, because yeah, your life had gone on, but you weren’t living, you were basically only surviving.

“I know babe, you lost the life of the party…” although his tone was meant to be lighthearted, his eyes weren’t “… but you’ll find someone, and we’ll still have Camp Redwood”.

“I can totally see why Bertie is the only person that can actually stand you, in this shit, if you quote Casblanca like that…” your eyes were teary, although your tongue spoke of sarcasm “… I am going to miss you, Xavier”.

“Well you know where to find me, babe, then”.

Through your life you had come back to Redwood many times, whether you felt bad or good, just to announce Xavier all the best news in your life, and more importantly so that he wouldn’t be forgotten.

But that day you knew that it was the last time you would ever see him.

Your eldest son had brought you on your request on the Camp Redwood limits, he had looked at you weirdly, mostly because he didn’t see what an eighty year old sick person might want to do in camp which was famous for its massacres, but you hadn’t cared.

“I need to talk with an old friend”, you had muttered before you sprinted off, knowing exactly where you would have found Xavier, although you were slowed down by your age.

Somebody came immediately to your side, and you saw Trevor and Montana taking one of your arms each, to help you since your legs couldn’t carry you on fast enough.

You had mended your relationship with Montana, after the entire “Billy Idol concert thing” in 1989 and Trevor quite liked you, mostly because you were the braincell that Xavier had lost since he had died.

He was low key tired of having to take care of your “serious method actor” by himself.

“He is waiting for you” mumbled Montana, meanwhile she helped you sit down on a log, in a secluded area, sprinting off after a kiss to your wrinkly face, gently accepting Trevor’s hand, which he held out for her.

“… thank you” you mumbled before they disappeared in front of your face and you laid comfortably onto the log, as much as your old articulation would allow it.

“… hey, (YN), is that you?” joked a voice, waking you up from your little slumber and although you knew that you weren’t yet dead, you felt Death gently embracing you like an old friend.

That was why you had asked your son to bring you here.

You had had the ideal life you could have had, moving on from Xavier, but now, you would share the rest of your existence with your friend, so that you could pick up from where you had left.

“… didn’t recognize you under all those wrinkles” joked your best friend, and, although you were a rather old person you managed to kick his shin enough that he let out an unglorified “OH” followed by some pretty extreme coursing, although he didn’t truly feel that.

“These are badges of honor” you replied, pointing at your wrinkles “… and you were the reason behind many of them…”.

Xavier just giggled, as he settled on the log so that he could have your back onto his front, his presence already bringing comfort to your aching arms, and you let yourself go, in those arms, knowing all too well that you would be ok.

Because now you were with Xavier.

And your new life with him would begin soon.

[clown-bait]

29 Neibolt St (Monster Roommate AU) CH16

Fluff incoming! So two new characters are showing up in this short little chapter! And Pennywise finally takes his first bath in decades. Wow what an accomplishment! 

CHAPTER 16

Uncle Ashley 

“Look its a long story I just want to take care of my stab wounds first.” Leech was still in Penny’s arms clutching his silk costume

“Why are you nearly naked?” Freddy asked raising his eyebrows.

“Shut up Kruger.” Penny growled.

“Hey Fred you gonna introduce me to the bald babe and the uh… circus freak?” came a strangers voice it was gruff and cocky.

“Ah shit of course you'd have someone here when I'm half nude and bleeding out.” Leech lolled her head back.

“It's not a bad look doll face!” the stranger came into the room now he was roguishly handsome with a large chin and a missing hand.

Pennywise growled at the stranger. “Back off human”

“What are ya gonna do Bozo, throw a pie in my face?”

Pennywise stepped forward to stare down the human. “Now now boys. Im flattered really but Pen are you forgetting that my leg is currently leaking all over the floor.” Penny grumbled and moved to set her down on the couch the movement causing her to feel light headed.

“So what exactly happened?” Chucky asked

“Um well Leech finally killed a guy…. which was beautiful… attacked me and the servant….and……”

“And then what?” the gang looked on in anticipation.

“I…we…” the clown blushed a bit

“Wow and here I thought I was depraved. Really putting the freak in circus freak ey Bozo?”the human cringed.

“That’s Pennywise to you human. ANYWAY we got into an argument Leech did something stupid”

“You accidentally told her you loved her didn't you” Freddy sneered.

“I- NO “

“He totally did” Leech said weakly from the couch.

“LEECH”

“I still cant see why you wont say it. Everyone knows at this point.” Chucky rolled his eyes

“I am a eldritch creature from the macroverse I don't love”

“Don't make the same mistake I did kid”

“Why is everyone calling me kid I'm older than humanity its self.”

“Because you’re being a bitch” came Leech’s weak voice from the couch.

“You're lucky you're injured darling.”

Leech tried to laugh but ended up wincing and coughing in pain. “I don't have sympathy for you” Pennywise glared down at her.

“Bring me some juice Pen” she reached out a shaky hand still coughing.

“Do I look like your care taker?”

“If you love me you'll bring me some” she looked at him weakly while pouting

The clown sighed and walked into the kitchen. “You're the best!” she called after him blowing a kiss which he caught and proceeded to throw into the blender.

“So wait he did this to you?” the human asked.

“Nah this was from those kandarian guys.” Leech was struggling to talk wheezing more and more.

“Ah our mutual friends fan fucking tacstic.”

“Fred who is this guy?”

“Names Ash, S-Mart employee by day demon killer by night.” he took Leech’s hand and kissed it. “heard you had a problem with a book, my book, came to get it back.”

Pennywise returned and handed her a pitcher flashing his fangs and growling protectively at the human. Leech drained the container violently making inhuman growls and moans the whole time.

“I uh take it she's not….”

“No. She is one of mine.” Dracula spoke up from the door as he and Jim entered the room.

“JIMBO! GET OVER HERE” leech shouted relieved to see her servant in one piece.

“Master you're injured can you not make things worse” she was crushing him in a headlock before finally letting him go. Jim looked up at Penny and nodded.

“Jim.”

“Clown.”

They caught everyone up on the story, Pennywise leaving out the part as to why Leech was mad at him in the first place. “So what are our options here?” asked Chucky

“We need the book. Who ever has it is probably responsible for this.”

“Didn't you lose it? Doesn't that make you responsible?”

“I didn't lose it ok it was stolen.”

“When did you realize that?”

“Three hours ago.”

“Ash this shits been going on for days.”

They discussed their options. Finally deciding to split up in the morning to ask around town if anyone else was having trouble with deadites. Leech was forced to stay back due to her still healing despite her protests. She could barely walk but she hated feeling useless like this. When all was said and done everyone began to leave to go about their business.

“So I'm going to die now aren't I.” the younger vampire turned to her mentor.

“It is the final step child.”

“You guys will… be there when I… you know, kick it right? We may be dysfunctional as fuck but I consider you guys family. Most of you. *cough* Freddy…”

“My dear you're the deadbeat daughter I never had I will be there” Dracula smiled.

“Don't worry sweetie well stick around wont we?” Tiffany said from the stairs.

The other monsters smiled and nodded it was the least they could do for her, after all they were family now.

“Penny?” Leech turned to the clown who had yet to say something.

“Uh…sure.. I guess…”

“That’s your response?” Dracula glared at Pennywise.

“Get off my back old man.”

“You're older than me.”

“SO YOU ADMIT IT!” Pennywise shot up excitedly.

“Wow hey dying here, dealing with some deep existential crisis shit” Leech waved her arms around.

“Stop being so needy.” Penny pushed her hand away.

“Says the guy who knocked an entire stack of books off my shelf so I’d pay attention to him.”

“It worked though.” he gave her a teasing smile.

“So you’re going to stay then?”

“Don't have much of a choice.” he grabbed her hand squeezing it and giving her a quick grin before anyone else could see.

“So, when are we going to do this?” Leech asked.

“We could do it now…” Freddy suggested.

“Not a good idea”

“Explain Williams.” the younger vampire demanded.

“You leave an empty vessel for those things to take and well have to put you down permanently.”

“So what you're saying is I'm stuck.”

“Basically.”

Leech put her head in her hand and pulled it down her face “shit.”

————-

Leech awoke in her bed, every inch of her body ached and stung. It also didn't help that Church the cat had decided to sleep on top of her. Its like the undead feline knew her ribs were still healing and he did it just to spite her.

“Church you evil asshole! You never let me pet you then you pull this shit? No wonder you and Penny get along so well.” the cat began kneeding her chest for extra insult to injury. Just as she reached out to FINALLY pet the undead feline Penny came in with a glass of blood for her. Church woke up hissed and trotted over to him. “REALLY? I was just about to finally win him over”

Pennywise chuckled walking over to her, Church rubbing against his legs purring. “Here drink, don't say I never do anything nice for you.”

She sighed and took the glass struggling to hoist herself up. “Did everyone leave?” she asked taking a sip. “Some of us are still here. Keeping watch.” He replied.

“Come sit with me?”

“I have things to do.”

“Please Pen? I need it.”

“Will this make you heal faster?” he sighed.

“No. I just like annoying you.”

“You do a great job of it” he grumbled and flopped on the other side of the bed arms folded.

She finished her glass and leaned against him nuzzling his bells so they jingled against her nose. “Stop that.” He glared and shrunk down lower onto the bed. She responded by playing with his hair wrapping a finger behind his ear and massaging it.

“Cut it out” he growled while leaning into the touch

“Uh huh, sure Pen.” the vampire kept going ignoring the clowns empty protest, moving her hand to the back of his head. She made her fingers into claws and used them like a wire head massager. Pennywise tilted his head back.

“The door is open someone will see.” he was groaning and purring loudly drooling more than usual

“What? You embarrassed someone will hear you actually enjoy yourself?”

The clown was melting into the touches.

“You're injured and yet you still find ways to torture me.”

“I know you poor thing having to endure relaxing head massages”

“I suffer so much” he smiled in delight still purring.

Dracula eventually floated into the room followed by Jim who was carrying fresh bandages for Leech’s leg wound. They both stopped when they heard the content sounds rumbling from Pennywise who was now leaning his head against Leech as she ran her claws through his hair.

“Ah apprentice! You are finally awa-……Clown? Are you purring?”

“N-NO!” Penny jumped off the bed.

“Do you uh want us to come back later?” Jim asked amused.

“IM NOT PURRING IT WAS THE CAT”

“The cat just ran down the stairs.” Dracula gave him a smug grin.

“IM NOT PURRING”

“We shall return later don't get carried away now love birds!”they backed out of the room. Penny crashed onto the bed face first groaning. After a couple seconds he picked up Leech’s hand and placed it back on the back of his head, she snorted and continued the massage hearing the soft purr begin again.

———————

Leech had been texting Tiffany frustrated that she couldn't be out looking for whoever had the book. She had been sitting alone all day and the guilt was consuming her. She wished Penny was still here, as annoying as he was. He had gone out to stock up his pantry more knowing that he'd need the nourishment when they eventually have to clear the sewer.

The young vampire decided to at least try to take a bath since the feel of the hot water would be soothing on her bruises and she was freezing in the cold fall air. She attempted to stand her injuries protesting shooting pain through her system. Leech managed to make it off the bed and onto the floor. “guess theres no turning back now.” She mumbled. Crawling to the bathroom was exhausting the poor vampire had left scratches in the floor boards as she went, she was being incredibly stubborn and probably making everything worse but she was going to get clean dammit.

When she finally collapsed against the bathroom door she attempted to remove her shirt wincing as she raised her arms above her head. Her shorts came next and then the bandages. Everything hurt, tears stung her face as she growled in pain and frustration. “Why me? Why am I the one to take the brunt of this abuse?” she felt small and so alone in the bathroom. All she wanted was a new start, every time something good happened to her, every time she felt a little bit of happiness in her life something else went wrong. Leech attempted to stand and look in the mirror. She cried out in frustration over not being able to see how bad of shape she was in. “Thats right I forgot I'm a fucking monster now.” she sobbed and sunk against the wall she was frustrated and defeated beyond belief.

Pennywise had come up to check in, he was bored out of his mind not being able to prowl his sewer and whenever he wasn't feeding himself he always tried to bother Leech. When he saw she wasn't in her room her grumbled following the trail of claw marks in his flooring. The clown was about to scold her when he heard a sob he pressed his ear to the door. “What the hell am I becoming? I never asked for this.” the clown cracked the door open to find his favorite vampire was on the floor head resting on knees.

“What are you doing?” Penny grumbled, annoyed.

“Go away Pen, I'm feeling sorry for myself. You probably don't want to deal with me anyway”

“You're right I don’t. Stop being sad.”

“Not like I can just turn it off.”

“Looks like I have to deal with you then.” he walked over to her his figure towered over the vampire making her feel even smaller. “Why are you upset?”

“I hate what I am and what I’ve done.”

“Explain.”

“I ran away from my problems I let myself become… this and now everyone is paying for it because I cant even get being a undead right. I should have just given up.” Tears ran down her eyes and she grabbed her long ears folding them forward like one would pull their own hair.

Penny glared down at her in anger. Great now he's mad at me too. Leech thought. He moved down quickly pinning her against the wall. She sobbed harder in fear and sadness.

“Never be ashamed of what you are little hunter.” he spat. “I didn't choose just anyone to be my mate Leech. The way you kill… My dear you weren't meant to be human, you were meant to float above them.”

“But the D-Deadites… If I-I wasn't weak….” she stammered out through the tears.

He scoffed and grabbed her face forcing her to stare at him. “Weak she says. Hunters are not weak little Leech. You worry too much about dying, that is something humans do. You are not human, oh no you're much better. That is why you're mine.” he leaned in closer to her narrowing his eyes when he didn't immediately see her cheer up. Pennywise growled and closed the gap between their mouths letting out a rumble before he broke the kiss abruptly and pushed her face back. He got up to leave but was stopped when Leech shot up grabbing his ruffled collar she had a newly lit fire in her eyes. The vampire pulled him back to her mouth kissing him hard growling back at him “Theres my little monster” he snarled against her mouth. She bit his bottom lip before breaking the kiss, breathing heavy and staring at him.

“Feeling better?” the clown smirked proud of his little pep talk.

“I need to clean my wounds.” was all she said not wanting him to see the ghost of a smile finally forming on her tear stained face.

“Are you asking for my help?” he picked up a clean washcloth following her over to the extra large bathtub as she tested the water.

“Get in the tub jackass.” the clown’s lips curled into a smile.

————-

“I still cant believe I got you to take off the costume.” Leech pressed her own naked flesh against the clowns pasty white skin on her back.

“Just this once.” Pennywise was lightly tracing his fingers over the marks he had left on her from previous encounters. She took notice of this and turned to him a worried look in her eye.

“How beat up do I look?”

“You look fine Leech.”

“But like is it noticeable?”

“If you really must know here…..” he stood up leaving the tub. Penny shifted into a reflection of his vampire secretly making sure that his version looked just as pretty as he thought she was. “See? Still beautiful.”

“flatterer.” she sank back into the water cheeks darkening a bit.

The clown smiled and turned back sporting a silk pink nightgown.

“Penny, what the hell is that?”

“What? You and Tiffany were wearing them last week and they looked comfy. I just took a bath for the first time in decades, I'm getting comfy.”

“Help me get dressed you dork.”

Leech pulled the shirt over her head wincing a bit while using Penny as support. He scooped her up to carry her back to her room Leech wrapped her arms around his neck resting her head on his collar.

“Hey Pen?”

“hm?”

“Thanks.”

“Don't let it get around. I have a reputation to uphold…”

The clown grumbled trying not to look at her, those feelings and smells threatening to overtake him again. She reached her hand up and pulled his face back to hers before smiling and whispering “I love you” against his soft lips. Pennywise's eyes flew open wide, face the color of his bathrobe. The feelings got to him anyway and the terrifying monster kissed his little hunter. He growled against her mouth in pure adoration. Stupid feelings.

A knock came at the bathroom door Penny nearly dropped Leech as they jumped back.

“Occupied!” they said in unison.

“Junior?! Well, well, well! That a chick I hear in there with you?”

“Oh you've got to be kidding me.” Pennywise groaned.

“Open up its Uncle Penny we need to have a chat.”

Leech gave Pennywise a look. Shit. The clown mentally cursed. The intruder barged into the bathroom. Leech was wide eyed and confused to see a second evil clown who apparently was also called Pennywise. The new clown looked at his nephew in disbelief.

“Um I can explain.”

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PAPPA’S HERE! Also I’m hype we finally have Ash too he’s one of my all time favorite horror characters!

[cassiecantyousee]

All I Really Need to Know I Learned on Summer Staff

If you can believe it, it’s been one month since Irma (it hit Barbuda on September 6th, and officially made landfall in the Keys the morning of September 10th). I’ve been back home for over two weeks, and things are nowhere near back to normal. So here’s another attempt at getting my thoughts down before too much time passes. Also, I spent two summers in college working on the ropes course at Saranac, a Young Life camp in the Adirondacks. That will become important later.

Just a heads up: I’m not going to post a lot of pictures, because I find it sort of weird. I’ll post some of my own house, but I felt uncomfortable sharing other people’s hardship. If you’re curious about the destruction in the Keys, there are a lot of photos and videos posted by or with the permission of the residents themselves. Feel free to do some Google searches, or you can message me privately and I can send you some links. Also, I’ve included some good donation links later, but they are not comprehensive! Feel free to find another organization you care about and donate there (but yes, there is a Mote link in there!). Okay, on with the show:

After quick stops in Orlando (to get my car) and Boca (to sleep!) I drove back into the Keys on the morning of Thursday, September 21st. The Keys had opened to residents on Sunday, and Wednesday had been the last day of the checkpoint so I could just drive right in. That in itself felt weird. It was one of those moments where I had trouble remembering that I am 26 years old and not 10; I kept waiting for someone to come to their senses and send me away. Clearly this unaccompanied child should not be allowed into a disaster zone! How irresponsible! Obviously that didn’t happen, because I AM 26, and a legal resident of the Keys, and therefore totally allowed to be there. So after that brief existential panic, the drive continued.

The first thing I noticed was the foliage: all the leaves were off the trees. It looked like New England in the winter (without the snow, obviously). Since there’s no foliage in the Keys that does this normally, it looked very odd. I could see into neighborhoods off the side of Route 1 that I had never been able to see before. There were also big piles of debris by the side of the road, but these were mostly vegetation. I know some places in Key Largo were hit very hard, and I don’t want to minimize that, but the beginning of the drive looked reasonably okay (part of this was also that Key Largo residents were allowed to return sooner, so they had already done a lot of clean-up).

As I continued south, things started to get worse. Entire trees were down, and more and more of the debris piles were made up of people’s personal belongings. Refrigerators, mattresses, shelves, coffee tables, and everything else were piled by the side of the road. In the upper Keys many of these piles had already started being consolidated, but as I drove they started spreading out. Every home and business had a similar pile, and the piles were often at least a full story tall.

When I hit Marathon, it started getting hard. The upper Keys I essentially just drive through, but Marathon I’ve actually spent a lot of time in. It was also the beginning of the worst of the destruction. Businesses that I’d been to in the past were completely flattened, telephone poles were snapped in half, and many side streets were completely impassable due to debris. But even that wasn’t as bad as when I hit Big Pine Key.

While I don’t live on Big Pine, I’m very close. It’s where I go to church, go to the library, shop for groceries, and pick up Chinese food. Many dear friends live on Big Pine, and it was decimated. There’s so much destruction it’s a bit hard to describe, but believe me when I say it’s hard to see. Entire streets were reduced to piles of rubble. The next few islands (including mine) looked much the same. My usual gas station had been literally knocked over. The entire roof that was over the pumps was bent over and lying on its side. By the time I was turning down my street, I thought there was no way my house could be in as good shape as my roommates said it was. I had seen all these newer, better quality homes completely destroyed, how could ours have survived? So I braced myself as I prepared to see how the Gulf side of Ramrod Key had fared.

As it turns out (and as you probably already saw on Facebook) hurricanes are extremely random and we live in a miracle house on a miracle street. Our house had a roof, all four walls, and had only gotten about a foot of water inside. The Atlantic side of Ramrod (where we used to live!) had seen multiple streets completely flattened. A house two blocks closer to the water than us got an eight-foot storm surge (we know because the owner stayed and took pictures). I think that part of what saved us is an extremely lucky location: between our street and the Gulf is the largest area of preserved hardwood hammock habitat in the Keys (our version of a climax forest), and that absorbed a lot of the surge. But we could just as easily have been hit by the pockets of extreme wind or tornados. We truly got very lucky. And since I didn’t get back until Thursday, I never even had to live without power, AC, and running water.

That being said, there’s a lot of work to do. When I first got back the entire lower Keys had a weird swampy smell from all of the flooding (TCI friends: it smelled like the salinas!). So being outside to do yard work wasn’t super pleasant. And while most of our house has cement walls and tile floors, we have to rip out anything that might be growing mold. This includes any and all drywall up to a certain height, the one room with wood flooring, all of our doors, and most of our living room furniture (those of you who have visited: we saved the tall bar chairs! I was so glad).  The dishwasher, microwave, and washer and dryer all work, but the stove is broken. Also somehow the grill, which was outside the whole time, is fine. Our sheds were largely reduced to kindling, and we lost most of the little fruit trees in our back yard. Personally, I had to throw out my futon mattress (old to begin with) and two empty bookshelves (very cheap from Kmart). So no huge losses there, and all of my actual personal stuff is fine. We’re making a lot of progress, and some wonderful friends have come to help us. I’m learning so many life skills!

But it’s been a couple weeks of this now, and the fatigue is starting to set in. I know people always say this, but it’s really true: surviving a disaster is one thing, recovering afterwards is entirely another. Every time we complete one task, there are suddenly five more that we hadn’t even thought of yet. Have you ever seen that Tom Hanks movie The Money Pit? It’s like that. I don’t think I’ll ever find that movie entertaining again. Our house is livable, but it’s not like it’s back to normal. One bedroom is completely under construction, our counters are still covered with hurricane rations, and we haven’t replaced the doors yet so they keep sliding across the floor in a manner that makes it sound like the house is haunted. Plus, after a few more torrential rainstorms, the roof started leaking. We’re getting one of those blue roofs from the Army Corps of Engineers, but they have a lot of houses to get to (don’t worry, we’ve patched it for now). And since it’s so hard to dispose of waste in the Keys (not a lot of land), there are still piles of debris everywhere. They’re starting to consolidate them, so there are these giant walls made up of essentially people’s entire lives lining the highway. They’re honestly about three stories tall.

The biggest thing though, is that we’re all just so TIRED. It’s hard to go to work all day, where you’re probably cleaning up from the hurricane, to then go back home and have to keep cleaning up from the hurricane until you go to bed. You can’t escape it. I catch myself getting irritable, and fed up, and impatient. You start feeling desperate for just one part of your life to be how it was before the storm, but that’s impossible. It’s not an exaggeration to say that people’s lives will never be the same. Some may argue that it’s just stuff, but that’s not really true. It’s your home. It’s where you made a life, made memories, maybe where you raised your family. For me, it’s the first place that felt like home after I graduated college. It’s been destroyed, and the work it’s going to take to fix it looks endless right now. Your emotional “home base” is gone, which is exhausting enough even before you factor in all the physical labor needed to bring it back. There is no home base anymore; there are only piles of trash and drywall. I just really want to stress how tired we all are, especially because we’re actually doing really well (I promise!). So if those of us who were comparatively lucky feel like this, imagine how everyone else feels. Imagine the tragedy in Puerto Rico. Donald Trump can go suck an egg, everyone is working their butts off.

To finally bring all of this back to the title of the post, I never thought two summers at camp would prove so useful years later. The skills I learned on Summer Staff have been invaluable. After safely seeing hundreds of teenagers through a high ropes course I feel pretty prepared for a variety of disasters. The obvious skills, like experience with landscaping and power tools (#ropescapenance4eva) have obviously been helpful, but also the ability to work long hours, keep a good attitude (hopefully), and work as a team with people I just met. Also, I’m pretty good at cleaning bathrooms. There hasn’t been any call for safe belaying techniques yet, but if that comes up I’ll be ready.

But the most important thing I learned is the result of one specific Bible study. Without getting too theological or technical, we were talking about the importance God gives rest and also about how in the Jewish tradition (so also in the Old Testament) the day starts at sundown. That means the day starts with rest, and ends with work. After some more Biblical digging, we finally crystallized an idea that changed how I think about rest forever: you should rest FOR your work, not FROM your work. In other words: rest first, work later. So often we use our rest time, be it actual sleep or something else, as a time to obsess about the previous day when what we SHOULD be using it for is storing up energy for the tasks that lie ahead tomorrow. Put yesterday behind you, rest up, and move forward. It’s purely a mental game; I’m not saying my sleep pattern changed drastically or something. But this shift in mentality (when I remember it) really helps me not get burnt out. To be honest, I had totally forgotten this little piece of wisdom until I came across a quote I had put in my planner a month earlier. It’s by Robert Louis Stevenson, and he said: “Don’t judge each day by the harvest you reap, but by the seeds that you plant.” So that’s all I’m really trying to say to my fellow hurricane people. Rest for the work ahead, and don’t worry, you’ve been planting a whole forest. We’ll see it grow eventually.

And there really are a lot of bright spots in all of this. Neighbors helping neighbors and so on. Various Facebook groups have actually done a great job distributing key recovery information, and even in returning personal property to their rightful owners. Despite some sensationalist reports (helped along by some paranoia), we’ve barely seen any looting. Volunteers have been coming down from the mainland, and we were sent so much bottled water and non-perishable food we now have too much. If you want to help, and you’re close, we can always use more work teams. If you want to help, and you’re farther away, find a local organization to support and just send money. They’ll get it to where it needs to go.

And please PLEASE help Puerto Rico. They are in much worse shape than we are, and the government didn’t move to help them nearly as quickly as it moved to help us. They are fellow Americans (which really shouldn’t be the point, but it needs to be said), and they need help. Send some.

Before I go: eternal thanks to everyone who has reached out, offered help, checked up on me, or even just sent me funny YouTube videos. Your support and compassion truly means the world to me. And ESPECIALLY thank you to the friends and family I stayed with throughout this whole ordeal! I will be forever grateful. Rest up, everybody.