#(right??)
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military issued wife but you didn't know that using the "dating app" your friend brought up once in idle talk would end with you in an office with a (signed) marriage license on the desk, actively not looking at your 'husband', the burly lummox with a skull mask who's dwarfing the chair he can barely fit in.
you'd thought it'd be like tinder. a potential dating site. as in messaging on the app, getting to know each other, exchanging personal numbers before going on a date. not marriage. not opening your front door expecting it to be your door dasher and instead it's him with a rucksack in one hand and duffel in the other.
he'd looked down his thick nose at you, grunted a quiet, "not bad", and pushed past as if you were a swinging door to a saloon. what the fuck had he been doing there? you'd only spoken a couple of times with him and left on read for the some of it. you'd chosen to move on, try to match with someone else but the app had stopped working (you couldn't swipe right or left anymore) so you'd just put it on the back burner. you had better things to worry about than another disappointment of a man then.
except now said disappointment of a overly large man is taking up most of the couch and his legs aren't even all that far apart. and he's at your house. the house you'd never sent him the address to. as a matter of fact, you'd received a text from an unknown number earlier that had said someone would be home in a few. you'd ignored it thinking it was a wrong number situation but now you're sure it was him. how he got your phone number is also a mystery.
you'd tried to argue. to threaten him with the cops. to get him out and away, far fucking away, but he'd only scooped you up and let you pelt his broad back with your fists. chuckled low in his throat while he smacked your arse to keep still. "i'd hate to drop m'wife."
whatever fight you had he ate right out of you with the heels of your feet digging into the large curve of his shoulders and his hands curled around the back of your thighs. maybe it's because it'd been a while but he'd played your body like an instrument and had you bucking your hips against his tongue, slick coating his face in minutes. (your cheeks burn furiously hot when you think back on what he'd said then. "tight little thing 'nd you've only taken my two fingers." it's flattering, sue you.)
he'd lapped at your sodden cunt until you had overstimulation clumping your lashes together, inner thighs tender from the bristles of his shorn hair and unshaven jaw, your palm on the crown of his head having both pulled him to you and pushed him away.
and then he'd wiped your release with the back of his hand, thumbed the swollen flesh of your bottom lip and rumbled that it's time for bed.
which eventually led to you being here. in front of a man he calls Price, a marriage certificate unlike any you've ever glanced upon, a large gloved hand curled snugly around your leg, fingers grazing a little too close to where he'd left aching and swollen just yesterday.
you're reading the terms and conditions of anything from here on forward. even the fine print.
and then soap comes around and plants a seed in his head of him planting a seed in you :/ at least you can tell your nosy ass aunt that at least you've got a man while she's on her 4th divorce on thanksgiving 💅🏼
#now instead of when you getting a boyfriend it's when you having kids#before you get to say that there will be no kids simon's interrupting telling them that yall will have enough for a rugby team#erm-#while he gets spoiled by the older ladies of the house you're on the phone with laswell#it doesn't say that you MUST give him kids right?#RIGHT??#LASWELL??#HELLO??#simon ghost riley x reader#simon ghost riley x you
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WAIT WHAT
Not my video
#did we know this??#cuz I didn’t#that has to mean something#right??#byler#stranger things#byler endgame#mike wheeler#will byers#mike wheeler is gay#byler canon#stranger things season 5#miwi
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GILF, indeed!
#stanford pines#fiddleford mcgucket#gravity falls#fiddauthor#they’re also sometimes uhhh#fordsquared#right??#saw this as a roblox shirt or smth and HAD to put his number one fan in it
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tell me how to feel about you now
oh, let me know, do i suffocate or let go?
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my first time ever making a comic like this! very far from perfect but i’m satisfied
this came about as part of me thinking a lot (too much) about the psychic 7 and their relationships with one another and what those look like/how they develop after the events of the second game
#anyway if you’re reading this please talk to me abt psychonauts#fun fact i finished this back in July but only worked up the nerve to post it now#i think way too much about the psychic 7#but specifically bob and otto bc i find their issues like pre-maligula interesting and wonder about the steps they take to try and repair i#even after helmut’s quote unquote death and otto having his brain knocking around for the better part of 20 years#not really his fault but that would have to make them both feel a certain way#right??#psychonauts 2#psychonauts#psychic 7#bob zanotto#otto mentallis#helmut fullbear#brain in a ball#comic#mini comic#fanart#my art#digital art#extartodyssey#artists on tumblr#psychonauts 2 spoilers#lyrics in caption from tell me how by paramore
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what if i OC-fy jegulus and call them like jack platter and reginald grey so they wont be recognised as characters from the hp franchise and the only people to know that im actually doing jegulus fanart will be the ppl that follow me... like an inside joke...
#if i draw them in a magical school its not canon universe its just an AU for my OCs#right??#this is jokes and all but i lowk have an official stepping away from the fandom post in my drafts that i think i might be using very soon
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I’m seeing a weird uptick in people commenting nasty stuff on people’s non-cat/dog pet stuff again and not so gentle reminder:
Your phobia or dislike of certain animals does not give you the right to harass and bully people who love and share them.
Use the blacklist tag like a normal human being, and leave people who love rats or snakes or bugs etc. the fuck alone.
#pets#bully behavior#rats#snakes#bugs#stop being little shits Jfc#grow up and block the person#black list the tag#wtfever to curate your experiences online#but you don’t go after someone for sharing their fucking pet spider or whatever??#it literally has nothing to do with you#phobias are NOT AN EXCUSE TO BE A SHITHEAD#I expect half of y’all not to see this because you’ve already grown up enough to black list words and hashtags#right?#we’re moving on from highschool behavior?#RIGHT??#here we go#tw: spiders#tw: snakes#tw: rats#tw: bugs
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Okay, sooooo.........I had a thought........
#murder drones#serial designation n#uzi doorman#biscuit bites#nuzi#n x uzi#the owl house#I can't be the only one that had this vision right??#RIGHT??#not sure how far I'll take this little animation but it's a start!#I love these guys so much I can't ;-;#I'm sorry if this looks wonky!! There's a learning curve with this thing OTL#fanart#animation
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Reunion
#this is what we're getting right?#RIGHT??#the bad batch#bad batch#star wars the bad batch#star wars#hunter and omega#tbb hunter#tbb omega#bad batch spoilers#the bad batch spoilers#the bad batch season 3#bad batch art#the bad batch art
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I'm not sorry thou-
#hey I mean a monk can't drink right???#right??#mortal kombat#mkx#kung lao#liu kang#jax briggs#johnny cage#kenshi takahashi#kitana#mortal kombat x#mortal kombat fanart#mk fanart#mk11#mortal kombat 11#liutana
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So anyway we all agree that the actor from the new Dune show is Jurian, right?
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nona spoilers!
its so fucking insane that griddleharks first kiss is with harrows body being inhabited by someone else and gideons just fucking dead
#not ignoring you salt scene but i mean like lips touching#haha they’re defo gonna kiss while alive and themselves right#right??#the locked tomb#gideon the ninth#harrow the ninth#nona the ninth#nona tlt#gideon nav#harrowhark nonagesimus#griddlehark#nona the ninth spoilers
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sighhh
#꒰ misc things ꒱#ackleslut on tiktok always keeping it real#25 year age gap is nothinggg#right?#RIGHT??#crashing out#jensen ackles#jensen fucking ackles
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A relationship where we're each others home and safety
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It's a long story...

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If i see another person ,who, in a serious way, thinks that Nico and Will are like Achilles and Patroclus or these two reincarnated,im gonna commit a crime.
And i know Apollo would be on my side
#I just know that if apollo hears someone makin that comparison#he for sure is going to do some crazy shit#like#ACHILLES!?#THAT MAN OF ALL PEOPLE?!?#you must be joking#you couldn't find a worst option to compare his dear son relationship#right??#nico di angelo#will solace#solangelo#toa#patrochilles#riordanverse#pjo#achilles#patroclus#mrs soft rambling#original of mine
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