#(put on a random playlist and the long con started playing right when I was drawing them I almost lost my shit)

[presidentheartbeat6]

a guy for everyone...

*drops this at ur feet and then sprints away at the speed of light*

[nalgenewhore]

masterlist - ao3 - next chapter

 ☽ ☼ ☾

As he sat at his gate, he watched the other people. Something about airports had always intrigued him, so many people in their own lives, on their own paths all converging to this one place before jetting off once more. 

Lorcan was restless. On the arm of the uncomfortable chair, his fingers tapped out a furious beat. The monotonous drone of the phone line ringing in his ear didn’t help. Pick up. Pick up. Pick up. I miss your voice and I need you to pick up so I don’t lose my fucking–

“What, the fuck , do you want?” 

He chuckled, “Good morning to you too, princess.” Inside his chest, his heart fluttered. Fuck, he missed her. He missed both his girls. The minute they’d dropped him off at the airport eight weeks ago, he’d been itching to go home. 

“I told you not to call me that.” There wasn’t any bite to her words and Lorcan knew - hoped - that she was wearing that soft, sleepy smile of hers. 

He hummed, stretching his long legs out and crossing them at the ankle, “Tell me to stop without smiling and I’ll stop. Easy-peasy, Lochan.” 

Elide just muttered a curse in Blackbeak and sighed as if talking to him was some sort of divine torture, “Why are you calling? It’s not even three yet, Lor.” Instantly, remorse flooded through him. He’d forgotten completely about the time difference and told her as much. “Mmm, it’s fine. Did something happen?” 

“Nah, I just wanted to say hey before my flight. I’m sorry for waking you up,” he said. Lorcan ran his tongue over his teeth. “I’ve… I miss you two.” 

The teasing, light mood dropped a bit. Lorcan could hear her breathing slowly and then she answered, her voice weaker than normal, “I know, Lor.” Her swallow was audible. “We miss you too.” Before he could respond, before he could offer her any sort of fleeting comfort, Elide spoke again, “Hold on one second, ok?” 

She was gone before he could respond. Lorcan could hear something rustling, like someone slipping out of a bed. He froze, hardly daring to breathe. She wouldn’t- Elide and Lorcan both knew better than to have someone over when they had the kid with them. 

There was soft murmuring he couldn’t quite make out and the unmistakable whine of their daughter. Lorcan slumped down in relief, cursing himself for this… jealousy. It wasn’t fair. “Hello?” snapped Stella Luna.

He chuckled, delighted by his child’s greeting, “Hey, Tiny.” 

She gasped and that innocent sound, filled with childlike wonder and elation, soothed his aching heart. “Daddy?” 

“Hi, Stella. I’m sorry I woke you up so early, I wanted to say hey before I get on the plane,” Lorcan explained with a smile. Thinking about Elide that summer had been painful enough, knowing he was so far from her, but it was nothing compared to the agony of missing his daughter. 

“Are you coming home today? ‘Cause I got kindergarten tomorrow, Daddy. Mama said you would take me,” Stella said. 

“Yes, I’m coming home today. I’ll take you to school tomorrow, ok?”

“Ok, Daddy. I’ve been very busy, you know. Yesterday we went shopping and at Mintage, mama found me a Wednesday Addams lunch box,” Stella regaled, her words dripping with wonder and awe. “I’m so excited ‘acause I love Wednesday Addams, Daddy, did you know? We watched it last night at Fenny’s house ‘acause he let me choose. He said he was sick of the Addams family and that’s why I called him a dummy.” 

He laughed, pausing for a moment to listen to the PA. “Passengers boarding Flight 1203 to Varese, please make your way to gate C49. Passengers in zone one, please line up at the boarding desk.”  

“What was that? It sounded funny, Daddy, like a robot,” Stella said. 

“My plane’s getting ready to take off, Stel, they want everyone to come to the gate,” Lorcan explained. “How was Fen’s?” 

“Oh,” she started, “it was very good, Daddy. After the movie, he taked me to his show an’ I wanted to bring Salem but it’s too loud for him so I sat with Essar and she got me a juice box when I was thirsty. I think it was a secret ‘acause they only give them to me. It was grape which is my favourite, but I didn’t want to finish all of it so Vee drinked it after his show. Then Fenny and me and Con and Vee went to Grampy’s and I fell asleep so Fenny took me home.” 

“Passengers in zone two, please line up at the front desk.” 

Lorcan checked his boarding pass, “Kid, I have to get on my plane now, ok?” 

“Ok,” Stella replied, a little sadly. “I miss you.” 

The corners of his lips turned down. Lorcan hung his head, opening and closing his mouth a few times as he tried to think of what he could say to comfort his child. Eventually, he said, “I know, Stella Luna. I miss you too. I promise - once I’m home, no more tours, ok? I love you.” 

“Love you too, Daddy,” she chirped, already his happy, bubbly little baby again. “Bye-bye!”

“Bye, Tiny. Put your mother on for me,” Lorcan said, laughing through the sentence. He could hear Stella Luna hand the phone over to Elide. 

“Yes , you can sleep now,” Elide said with a kiss smacked on Stella’s head. “Lor, you still there?” 

“Yeah, ‘m here. I have to get on the plane now.” 

“Ok. Do you want us to pick you up from the airport?” 

Though it pained him to say it and further delay their reunion, Lorcan said, “No, don’t bother. I’ll be tired and I’ll probably just crash when I get home. I’ll see you tomorrow, though.”

“Can’t wait, Salvaterre.” 

He smiled a small smile, one that was only ever for Elide, “Me neither, Lochan.” 

 ☽ ☼ ☾

He woke up somewhere high above the Cambrian Mountains. For a few moments, Lorcan stared out the small window, groggy and confused. 

It took him a second to remember what was happening and why he was on a plane. When he finally did recall, Lorcan pulled his laptop out of his camera bag and placed it on the desk. The band he’d been working with over the summer had bought him a seat in business class for both his flights home. 

Lorcan shifted in his seat and absentmindedly toyed with the curved barbell that pierced the delicate skin connecting his upper lip to his gum as he waited for his computer to turn on. He leaned down, searching through his bag for the USB that carried every shot he’d taken in concert that summer. 

He found it and sat up straight. A small smile pulled at the corners of his mouth as he saw the background of his laptop. He hadn’t changed it in the three years since the photo of Elide tattooing Stella’s name in Ozuye on the outside of his right thumb while he held a sleeping Stella Luna to his chest with his free arm had been taken. The tattoo was his favourite, though it probably tied for first place with the cartoon-inspired Wednesday Addams on his inner left wrist. 

The placement of both designs had been purposeful, so when he was shooting something, he could see them clearly and think about his daughter. He had never met anyone who loved the Addams family more than Stella. 

Lorcan put his headphones on and played a playlist at random. Pink + White played as he opened Photoshop and uploaded a file he hadn’t even looked at yet. The photos weren’t needed for another month, but he would rather get them done now so he could focus on the upcoming studio show. 

He still hadn’t decided what or who his subject would be. Maybe he would take a break from concerts and focus on something else.

For the rest of the flight, he worked to distract himself from the fact that he’d be seeing Elide again. It hardly made any difference, his mind on her like always. Lorcan had been in love with Elide for… forever. He finally realised it, though, a couple weeks before she had their daughter. 

He had wanted… he had wanted a family with her. A real one, where Stella wouldn’t be perpetually split between two homes, but Elide hadn’t wanted that and Lorcan respected her wishes. Maybe it was foolish, but six years seemed like long enough to be pining for someone. 

As Lorcan got lost in the thoughts he spent most of his waking hours repressing, a hissing voice that sounded suspiciously like his mother snapped, Elide Lochan is not ‘someone’ and she is certainly not someone you get over. Ever. Stupid boy.  

His lips twisted with a rueful smile, though the memory of his mother ached and stung. Lorcan swallowed past the painful tightening of his throat and saved what he was working on, electing to watch something he’d downloaded on Netflix until they’d landed in Varese.

The air in Varese was balmy and he couldn’t stand it. Lorcan was seconds away from trying to peel his skin off. He had always hated the heat, but this steaming humidity was his hell. 

When his zone was called to board the flight, Lorcan could hardly keep the grin from his face. The thought of seeing his family, no matter how it hurt him to know Stella would come home with him tomorrow and Elide would stay in her apartment, was a joy nothing else had ever replicated. 

His heart seemed to beat a frantic timpani, each pat-pat saying, wait for me, wait for me, wait for me . 

 ☽ ☼ ☾

There was a crick in her neck. Elide muttered a curse with her eyes shut and reached out to her bedside table, only to feel nothing and hear an innocently delighted giggle. 

She smiled and kept her eyes closed. Slowly, Elide reached out, “I wonder who could be laughing right now. And where could they be!” 

There was that little laugh again, though Elide knew her child was doing her absolute best to stay silent. She heard Salem’s meow of protest and Stella’s sweet shushing. 

Staying silent had never been Stella’s strong suit. Elide continued on, now patting the blankets. “Hmm, I do wonder if they could be hiding beneath these blankets!” As she said ‘blankets’, Elide opened her eyes and ripped the covers away. A quick blur of orange and black flashed past as Stella’s fluffy cat was freed and Salem bounded away. 

Stella Luna’s shrieking laughter filled the room, gloomy from the rain that poured steadily against the large, paned windows. Elide laughed too as she grabbed her daughter and pulled her into her lap, her fingers digging into the soft part between Stella’s ribcage and hip bone. Stella squirmed away, begging her to stop, “No, please, mama, it tickles!” 

Elide chuckled softly and relented, choosing instead to gather Stella up in a long hug. “Oh, good morning, little one. How did you sleep, hmm?” She pulled back and brushed her hand through Stella’s hair. 

“Um, I slept good, mama, but I’m really hungry now, so I would like to have breakfast.” 

“We can do that. What do you want to eat?” 

Stella flicked her eyes up to the ceiling. Though her shape was Elide’s ethereal monolid, the colour of rich browns and deep blacks was all Lorcan. “Pancakes, mama. Can we make them look like bats?” 

Elide snorted and nodded, “Of course we can. Why don’t you go wash your hands and we can make them, ok?” 

The four-year old was off before she could even say yes, hurriedly careening into the bathroom. Her mother laughed again, but the care-free sound bled into a pained groan as she stood up and stretched. Elide really needed to stop crashing in her daughter’s bed. 

Stella hollered back from the toilet, “Mama, can we have chocolate chips in the pancakes?”

Elide smiled as she walked through Stella’s room. On the floor, one of Stella’s toys obstructed her path and Elide jammed her toe into a wooden box. She gritted her teeth against the pain and asked, “Will you clean your room today?”

“Uhhh,” Stella contemplated, “I guess. I dunno why , mama, I don’t care if it’s messy, why do you care?” 

“Because your room is messy and you might hurt yourself if you don’t know where something is,” Elide replied steadily. As she pulled on a pair of shorts, she heard little feet race into the kitchen. Elide twisted her hair up and clamped it into place with a hair clip. When she padded into the kitchen, Stella Luna was standing obediently on her stool, her hands clasped like a perfect little child. Elide hooted at the sight, “Oh, you little demon.” 

Stella grinned proudly at the nickname and pushed her wild hair back with both hands. She sighed in annoyance, “Mama, help please. It’s too much.” 

“Of course, witchling,” Elide said. Stella clambered up onto the counter to sit patiently. Elide hummed something soft as she parted her daughter’s hair and weaved two simple pigtails. As she braided, Salem gracefully leapt onto the counter and made himself comfortable in the fruit bowl, resting his chin on his crossed paws like a proper gent. “Better?” 

“Yeah,” Stella chirped as she climbed down and ran to the pantry. She flung the door open, “Mama, is Daddy coming home today?”

“He is. Remember, he called last night, baby,” Elide replied as she pulled out eggs and milk from the fridge. 

“Oh, I thought that was a dream ,” explained Stella. She lugged over the large container of flour, carrying it with both arms and almost tipped over. She decided to put it on the floor and push it to the counter. “I wanna play music!” 

Elide laughed as she picked the flour up and began measuring out the dry ingredients, “Go for it, Stella.” She watched in delight as Stella ran to the record player and sat on the floor in front of it to peruse the stack of records.

A couple moments later, Stella had decided and put the vinyl on. She pranced back over to her stool as music played. “Mama, can I crack a egg, please?” 

When I met you in the restaurant, you could tell I was no debutante

“Yes, ma’am,” Elide passed her an egg, “Be careful, you remember what to do, right?” 

“Yup!” Stella delicately cracked the egg on the side of the liquid measuring cup and used her thumbs to open it. The yolk and egg white plopped perfectly into the milk and vanilla. She picked up the whisk and mixed it all up. 

Dreaming, dreaming is free

Stella was soon bored and trailed over to the living room. She sat down and started to dance with her frog stuffie, singing along, “I don’t want to live on charity, pleasure’s real or is it fantasy…” Elide grinned at the sight and found the silicone mold in the top drawer.

A few minutes later, Elide slid a stack of bat wing pancakes onto a plate. “Stella? Food’s ready.” 

 “Ok, mama,” Stella said. She skipped to the table and climbed onto her chair. “Can I have maple syrup too?” 

Elide had already grabbed the bottle and grabbed a pair of forks drying in the dish rack. She put the plate down and sat, passing Stella her fork. Stella doused the pancakes in maple syrup and attacked viciously, stuffing an entire pancake into her mouth. Elide laughed loudly, “Baby, eat your food properly. C’mon, you know better.” 

Stella grinned around the sticky-sweet mess and chewed thoroughly before swallowing. Elide took the plate and cut the food up into bite-sized pieces before passing it back. The four-year old abandoned her fork in favour of her wee hands and stuffed as many chocolatey-mapley-buttery pieces as she could into her mouth. 

“Good gods, child,” her mother said. “You’ll choke.” Delight surged through her at the sound of Stella’s gleeful laughter, albeit muffled. She grabbed a napkin and reached out, holding her daughter’s chin hostage as she wiped the mess away. “I am so happy your father is coming back, he’ll finally take you off my hands, you gremlin.” 

Stella gasped loudly and wrenched her chin free, “Mama, can we go to the airplane place? I want to surprise Daddy. Pretty please?” 

She made her eyes big and wide, sticking her bottom lip out. Elide cracked immediately, “I think he’d like that, wouldn’t he?” Stella nodded with such vigour Elide half-thought her head would fly off. “We’ll do that later, Stel. Why don’t you finish your breakfast?” 

Stella needed no further prompting. 

 ☽ ☼ ☾

His bag was the second bag out. Lorcan easily slung the black duffel over his shoulder. He made his way out of the baggage claim and around fellow passengers numbly awaiting their belongings. 

Lorcan thought about pausing, his fingers twitching to grab his camera and freeze the moment. There was something slightly surreal about it all. A voice told him to stop, to do it, but the sweet, pure voice of his baby calling him home was louder. 

He was still listening to miss star’s jamzzz and clicked the ball of the piercing in his tongue against his teeth to the beats. I’m Not A Loser by the Descendents’ played at maximum volume as he strode across the scuffed and dingy linoleum. 

Vaguely, he thought he might’ve heard someone calling for him. Pausing, Lorcan half-pulled a headphone off his ear. He looked around, narrowing his eyes in confusion at the sea of strangers. 

“Daddy!” 

“Kid?” 

A wee one shot out through the passing crowd. Her hair, jet black and thick, curled out of her assumedly once-tight and neat braids. Her eyes were thin and dark, so rich and depthless, framed by long lashes. The little lass seemed to have a piece of the sun setting her warm, coppery complexion aglow from beneath. “ *Até , hi-hi!” 

Stella launched herself up and Lorcan dropped his bag to catch her. He held her tight to his chest, one hand cupping the back of her head. “Tiny, Creator above. I missed you so much, my darling moon.” 

“Hi, Daddy,” Stella whispered, her arms tightly wrapped around his neck. “It’s nice to see you.” 

Lorcan laughed raspily at her formal greeting, “Wow, so fancy, miss Star. ‘It’s nice to see you’, really? You’re killing me, Tiny.” 

She giggled, shaking her head as she pulled back, “No, I’m not fancy, Daddy. I’m tough ,” she snarled, baring her teeth intimidatingly. 

Lorcan laughed again, his head tipping back, “The toughest .” 

Stella beamed and abruptly stopped, an outraged gasp escaping her. She grabbed his face and pulled his head back down. When she felt his stubble, Stella Luna pulled a face, “Daddy, you have to shave. It’s scratchy.” 

“What, I thought I looked nice like this, babe,” he said, shifting her to his side. “It’s that bad?” 

She stared at him for a while before slowly shaking her head, “No… it’s ok, Daddy. Mama likes it like that.” Stella laid her head on his shoulder. Lorcan smiled and held her tightly again, his eyes closed. 

For a long moment, neither said a word, until Stella became restless and started peering out around her. “There’s so many people, Daddy.”

“There is,” he agreed. Lorcan brushed something from her cheek and Stella batted his hand away. “So, you learn to drive while I was away, or something?”

“No! I’m still little , Daddy,” Stella Luna corrected him with a giggle. “Mama drived me.” She pointed vaguely towards the entrance, “Mama’s over there and she said, ‘Stella, hold my hand and stay close ‘till we see your dad, ok?’ but you’re so tall and I sawed your head so I ran and didn’t listen to Mama.” Gasping softly, Stella put her hands over her mouth, “Oh no. Mama! Mama, hello? I am here,” she curled her arm over his shoulder as she craned her head to look around. “Where she go?”

Lorcan looked around as well, loving and hating the way his pulse sped up at the prospect of seeing her . “I don’t know where your ma is, maybe she- oh,” Lorcan cut himself off as he saw a familiar flash of long black hair through the crowd. “There she is.”

Through the throngs of passengers and travelers, Lorcan saw a fair skinned, petite woman. Her hair was dark, streaked with purple, and fell to her hips. She left it be in its natural waves, but had it cut into a blunt, pointed fringe that framed her heart-shaped face. Her round, plush lips were painted deep, nearly black, red. They curled into a teasing grin, “Hey, Salvaterre, I see you’ve finally decided to rejoin the rabble! Was the tour too preppy for you, what with all the first class flights and champagne?” 

He laughed and reached out to flick her nose, “Shut your mouth, Lochan. I’m common folk for life.” Elide laughed and Lorcan smiled, “Fuck, I can’t believe that you two came to pick me up.” He pulled Elide into a hug, something finally settling inside him as he held his girls for the first time in two months. 

“No, no swearing, Daddy,” Stella chastised him, her frown disapproving, “Fuck is a bad word. A very bad word and we’re only allowed to say it when we listen to music.”

Elide laughed and slipped her arm around his waist, “A wretched word, really. It’s like you want our daughter to become a menace to society.” 

“Oh, really? And what if our daughter wants to be a menace to society?” 

Stella Luna nodded, sticking her chin out, “Yeah, what if I want to be a menace to society, mama?”

Elide shook her head at the two of them and narrowed her eyes at him, “This is your doing, you know, Lorcan.” Oh… how his heart stopped as his name tumbled from her lips. Lorcan struggled to breathe for a moment and Elide’s warm grin faltered. “Lor? You alright?” 

“Y-yeah, just jet-lag,” he said quickly. Lorcan averted his eyes from Elide’s concerned gaze. Stella Luna wiggled, whining slightly. When she was set down on her feet, she grabbed Lorcan’s hand in one of hers and Elide’s in the other.

“Let’s go!” she shouted, tugging them along with all her might. At fifteen kilos and a solid one-hundred centimetres, it wasn’t much, but her determination made up for it. Over her head, Elide shot Lorcan a smile and a wink. 

Lorcan rolled his eyes and chuckled. Stella skipped and hopped along to Elide’s car. Lorcan tossed his duffel in the trunk as Elide helped Stella into her booster seat and he walked over to the passenger seat. “Daddy,” Stella said, “did you know my birthday is in two months? That means I’m gonna be five whole years.”

“Wow, you’re going to be so old ,” he said dramatically, smiling in the rearview mirror when Stelle’s jaw dropped open and her eyes widened. 

“I don’t want to be old. Old people are yucky. Like you and mom.” Elide and Lorcan looked at each other and burst into gutsy laughter at their daughter’s words. Stella sniffed primly and turned her face to the side, “It’s not funny to be old. Being old means you die. Do you want to die, Daddy?” 

“If I die, I become a ghost and I’ll haunt people,” he said. 

“Would you haunt me ?” the girl asked, her eyes filled with morbid curiosity. 

Elide huffed a laugh. She turned the car on and smoothly pulled out of her parking spot to the freeway that would take them back to Orynth. “You two are ridiculous. Stella, baby, no one’s haunting you.” 

“Yeah, except for me,” Lorcan ever-so-helpfully stated. 

As Elide exclaimed in annoyance, Stella giggled uncontrollably. The dark haired woman couldn’t help but laugh along and the sound of their laughter soothed the dull ache of missing them. 

☽ ☼ ☾

“ Até, ‘m tired,” said Stella, trailing up to Lorcan. She was all ready for bed, dressed in her Jack Skellington pyjamas. Her dinner of tomato soup and grilled cheese had been devoured an hour ago. Lorcan was in Elide’s kitchen, washing the dishes as Elide worked on a sketch and Stella checked her backpack over and over and over again. She was not going to be caught unprepared for her first day of kindergarten. 

He rinsed off the iron skillet and placed it in the dish rack. Lorcan dried his hands and turned to his daughter, who held her hands up expectantly. With a fond smile, Lorcan scooped her up and asked, “Time for bed? Did you brush your teeth yet?”

“Mm-hmm,” she nodded and dropped her head onto his shoulder. “Daddy, don’t forgot Mr. Ribbit.” Stella said softly, already falling asleep. She clutched at his shoulders, a yawn splitting her little face in half. 

His grin softened and he kissed the top of her head, “Can’t forget your frog, now, can we?” There came a low chuckle from the living room. Elide walked over to them, her pencil stuck in her hair and carrying the fuzzy green animal. She passed the animal to Stella and pressed a kiss to her cheek. Lorcan offered her his hand, “Come with us?” 

Elide nodded and slipped her hand in his. They walked to Stella's room together. She breathed evenly and deeply, her eyes closed. Her lashes brushed the tops of her rosy cheeks. Lorcan set her down with care and tucked her blankets around her. “Good night, my darling moon,” he said softly - in his native tongue - and brushed her hair back before it could tickle the tip of her button nose.

“Night-night,” Stella whispered, her eyes cracking open. “Are you gonna come drive me with mama tomorrow to school?” She snuggled into her pile of pillows and held her blanket up for Salem to settle in beside her. The cat curled up against her and purred softly as he flicked his fluffy tail over her protectively.

“Yes, I am.” 

She nodded, “Good. That’s good, Daddy.” 

“Alright, Tiny,” he laughed softly, “go to sleep, yeah? You’ve had a big day.” He kissed her forehead and stood up to let Elide say good night. 

Elide sat down on the edge of the mattress and cupped Stella’s face in her hand, her words soft and too low for Lorcan to hear. She too chuckled and kissed Stella Luna’s cheek, then got up and stepped over to Lorcan. 

They closed the door and silently walked back to the living room. Lorcan sat down on the couch and rubbed his eyes. Elide curled up in the opposite corner and smiled, “Tired?” 

“Yeah,” he said, dropping his head back against the couch. “Fuck me, I have to go home.” 

“Why don’t you just stay here tonight? You’ll have to come back tomorrow anyway,” Elide said, her voice measured. 

Lorcan looked at her, but her face was turned to the side. “Are you sure, El? I honestly don’t mind and I haven’t been to my place in a while.” 

She glanced over at him, “No, c’mon, it’s fine. It’s not like we’ve never done it.” 

“Done what?” 

Elide shot him a flat look, “Slept in the same bed.” 

Lorcan choked and his eyes widened, “El- what? I was just going to take the–” 

“I swear to Anneith if you say ‘couch’, I’ll strangle you. I’m not making you sleep on my couch when you’ve been gone all summer.” Elide stood up and walked to her bedroom, her hips swinging enticingly. Lorcan quickly looked away. “Besides, my bed is big. I promise I won’t give you my cooties.” 

He snapped his teeth and crossed the room to join her. “Fine. I’ll stay.” 

Elide crossed her arms over her chest and smiled cockily, “I knew you would.” 

“Yeah, yeah,” Lorcan said, pulling her into his arms. Her body melted into his. They fit perfectly together. They always had. “You’re always right, aren’t you, princess?” 

Elide hid her smile and slipped her arms around his waist, her cheek pressed above his heart. For a long moment, neither said a word. Then, Elide pressed her forehead against him and whispered. She couldn’t speak any louder, fearing that the tears she’d held back for years would finally spill over. “It’s nice to have you home, Lor.” 

“It’s nice to be home,” he murmured, gently rubbing her back. 

“It wasn’t the same without you.” It’s never the same without you.

He closed his eyes, hating the tears that blurred his vision. “Wasn’t the same without you, either, Lochan.”

 ☽ ☼ ☾

an: ahh ! it’s here ! a few things will b different for this wip, so i just want to let u all kno: 

- chapters will b posted once a week on mondays, at 8pm pacific standard time

- there will b flashback chapters !! 

- there will b depictions of recreational drug (marijuana) and alcohol consumption - i will put warnings for these n if there r any other triggers u would like me to warn, pls let me know

- if u want to b added/removed from the tag list, just send me an ask - it is rlly no trouble at all <3

translation: *Até: Father/Dad in Lakota (i headcanon lorcan to be native american - speficially Oglala Lakota. this will b more apparent/relevant in future chapters. i call his tribe 'the ozuye'. 'ozuye' means war-party in lakota)

songs played in chapter: (by order of appearance) 1. Pink + White - Frank Ocean 2. Dreaming - Blondie 3. I'm Not A Loser - Descendents

@mythicaitt​​ @werewolffprince​​ @schmlip-scribble​​ ​ @the-regal-warrior​​ @ladyverena​​ @ttakeitbacknoww​​ @shyvioletcat​​ @alifletcher2012​​ @tswaney17​​ @ourbooksuniverse​​  @flora-and-fae​​ @thesirenwashere​​ @queenofxhearts​​ @maastrash​​ @mynewdreamwasyou​​ @cursebreaker29​​ @empress-ofbloodshed​​ @b00kworm​​ @hizqueen4life​​ @silversprings98​​ @amren-courtofdreams​​ @minaidss​​ @superspiritfestival​​ @sanakapoor​​ @ireallyshouldsleeprn​​ @spyofthenightcourt​​  @thegoddessofyou​​ @more-espresso-less-depresso-xx​​ @claralady​​ @neonhellas​​ @darlinminds​​ @readingismyonlyhobby​​ @autophobiaxx​​ @silversprings28​​ @myshadowsingeraz​​ @aelinfeyreeleven945tbln​​ @elriel4life​​ @always-in-a-daydream​​ @jlinez​​ @ladywitchling​​ @mariamuses​ @darklesmylove​ @adelzd-bookblr​

[bqstqnbruin]

Meet the Hughes’

Ok, this was requested over two weeks ago and I have another request that is the same premies with a different boy so it might take me a while to do this.

But hey, as y’all probably know, I’m on track to be a high school chem teacher and even though Pride Month just ended it would be really cool for you to look into charties like GLSEN, which addresses issues surrounding LGBTQ+ students in the K-12 education system. 

I hope you like this! Here is the original request! ________________________

“Ok, but what if they don’t like me?” you say, running around the apartment looking for your bag. You know you put it somewhere in the living room so that you could grab it and just leave when Quinn came to pick you up. 

“They like Jack and you’re better than him.” He leans back further into the couch cushions, figuring the two of you would be here for a while. He had to admit, watching you run around in that dress of yours was not something he was about to complain about. 

“But they have to like him, that’s your brother.” You start to bend down to see if one of your roommates slipped it under the coffee table; they had a habit of taking anything in the room and shoving it down there with the rest of the candles, miscellaneous remotes that you had no idea how to use but wouldn’t get rid of, and other random shit. 

“Babe, relax.”

You shoot up and look at him. “Has there ever been a woman in your life who has responded well when you told them to ‘relax?’ And can you please get up and help me find my bag, I don’t want to be late! That’s an awful first impression!” 

He gets up, pulling you off the floor and grabbing you into a hug. Out of stubbornness and sheer anxiety you leave your arms by your side. “Point taken.” He pushes his upper body away from you so he can see the pout you have on your face. “But, trust me. I wouldn’t even think of letting you meet them if I didn’t think they would love you more than they love any of the three of us.” You finally pull him back in for a hug. You’ve never been in a serious enough relationship where you had introduced him to your parents or he had introduced you to his. Knowing that they could literally tell him they don’t like you was stressing you out more than anything. 

“I just want them to like me.” 

“They will love you. But I think you put your bag in the kitchen.” 

“Why didn’t you tell me that!” you screech, pulling away from him to go find it. 

“Because you look so damn good that I just wanted an excuse to look at you.” 

You look up at him, debating if you should be mad or flattered. “You’re lucky I like you or I would have to kill you,” you deadpan, knowing he would burst out laughing like he does. He lets you go to find that your bag was sitting on the kitchen table, not where you remember leaving it, but who cares as long as you found it? “Ok, should we go?” you ask, taking his hand as he leads you out the door. 

The entire ride to the restaurant where you were meeting Quinn’s family, he did everything he could to try to calm you down. First, he put on your favorite radio station. When that didn’t work, he let you take control of the aux, which he almost never lets you do because he doesn’t like the nostalgic 2010s teenage girl pop that occupies your playlist. When that didn’t work, he had you find a song you both love, Dream On by Aerosmith, for you to blast and sing poorly and loud until you get to the restaurant. You couldn’t help but laugh as Quinn tried and failed to hit Steven Tyler’s high notes at the end of the song, the veins in his neck popping out as he tried to hit the note but ended up sounding like a screeching cat. 

“Feeling better?” he asks, smiling as he pulls into the first parking spot he can find. 

“Still nervous, but at least I’m not jittery.” 

“I promise, you’ll be fine. Just be yourself,” he reassures you, taking your hand and leading you in. His parents and youngest brother were already at their table, all in town to see Quinn play, Jack playing and traveling throughout the weekend unable to make it. “Hi,” he says, kissing his mom on the cheek, hugging his dad and Luke, “This is Y/N, my girlfriend.” 

You smile as his parents get up to greet you, “Hi, it’s so nice to meet you!” you say, trying not to let the nervousness get the best of you as his mom wraps you into a hug. You weren’t ready for it, but it was weirdly calming for you as she gushed about how happy she was that she could finally meet you while his dad stood behind her to just shake your hand. 

Everyone sits down, you, Quinn, and Luke on one side with Jim, and Ellen facing you. Your leg starts shaking out of nervousness, Quinn’s hand finding your thigh under the table to try to get it to stop. His parents start talking to Quinn about his season so far, all the nerves melting away as his hand stays where it is. They finally turn the conversation to you as the food arrives, asking you about what you do, your family, all the basic stuff you would ask someone to get to know them. 

“Do you have any siblings?” his father asks you between bites of food. 

“I have an older brother, but I also grew up surrounded by a lot of cousins on my dad’s side.”

“Sometimes I wish I had a girl,” Ellen says, her eyes fixed on her pasta.

“Wow, thanks, mom,” Luke says, you and Quinn bursting out laughing. 

“What she really means is that she wishes you were a girl. You were her last chance,” Quinn says, playfully shoving his brother in the arm.

“You’re only saying that because you’re such a mama’s boy.” 

“I’d rather be a mama’s boy than have her wish I was a girl.”

“What’s wrong with being a girl?” you ask. Quinn turns back to you, looking between you and his mom. His eyes are wide open, his face turning bright red. He keeps opening and closing his mouth like a fish trying to figure out what to say while his dad and brother can’t stop laughing at the hole he just dug himself into. 

“Go ahead, Q. I wanna hear this too,” Ellen eggs him on.

“Uh, well. I believe there are pros and cons to, uh, either gender,” Quinn stammers. He keeps babbling for a few minutes, trying to find a good enough reason for you not to be mad at him.

“I would just stop while you’re behind. It doesn’t look like you’re going to get ahead,” you say, patting his leg. 

His dad can’t stop laughing, “She’s a good one, Quinn.” Quinn looks at you and smiles, taking your hand on the table and kissing you on the cheek as his mother gushes over the two of you, causing both of you to blush. 

“Please tell me you have some sort of embarrassing story about him,” Luke begs, practically bouncing in his seat.

“I don’t think he could be any more embarrassed than Jack posting the picture from Easter where Quinn is wearing his Crocs,” his dad says.

“Oh, my god. Those Crocs. When he invites me over I won’t go into his place unless those Crocs are away. I have such bad memories with crocs that I can’t stand them now. But -”

“Wait what happened to you?” Luke interrupts you.

“No, we’re embarrassing Quinn right now, not me.” 

Luke’s eyes go wide, his mouth open, “Do you know the story?” he asks Quinn. 

“No, this is supposed to embarrass Quinn, not me,” you say again, holding back laughing. 

“Dad, how much trouble would I be in if I told this story?” Quinn asks.

“If you lived together, you would be sleeping on the couch tonight,” he shrugs. 

“Then this is the only time I’ll be saying that I’m happy we don’t live together,” Quinn says, turning towards his brother, “When she was little, she was running through a parking lot one night and tripped and tore her knee open.”

“Ok no, it’s worse than that. I was with my mom for some meeting she had to go to, and I tripped over a curb that was painted black and unlit. I had to have surgery for my knee!” 

“Yes, but. You tripped because you were wearing Crocs.” 

“Which is why I hate them. If I had on a better shoe, that never would have happened. But,” you say, Quinn knowing exactly where you’re going, “I still get to embarrass you.” 

“Please, no,” he begs, his hand back on your thigh.

“The pasta incident?” 

“I already know that I raised you better than whatever it is she’s about to say,” Ellen says, her eyes closed as she shakes her head in premature disappointment.

“So he was over my place for dinner one night when he didn’t have a game. My roommates and I had some friends over so we were all making some food, I was making a pasta dish. I’m in my room, finishing getting ready and I asked him if he could start the water boiling so the food would be ready when everyone got there.

“I’m just finishing up getting dressed and I hear him calling my name, so I go and check on him right?” you tell them, Quinns face getting red with embarrassment, “He goes, ‘should I smell gas when I turn the stove on?’ And I just look at him and I go, ‘It’s a gas stove. If you smell a little gas when you turn it on, that’s fine.’” Luke has already lost it, Quinn still has his hand on your thigh, knowing that he had this coming, while his parents just look at him and try not to laugh. 

“But, it gets better. I tell him once the water starts to boil to put the Angel Hair pasta into the pot and then cover it and I can take care of the rest. I finish getting ready and I’m assuming that if he hasn’t called me then that means that everything is going fine, which I should not have. I finally get back into the kitchen and he’s standing there with a try piece of pasta that is on fire,” you finish as his parents finally give in and start laughing. Even though he hates that story, he can’t help but smile at you, you reciprocating. “And what did you say to me when I asked why you did that?”

“I wanted to see if it would catch on fire,” he admits in a small voice, his family erupting in laughter. 

“It was something thin and frail in an open flame, babe. What else did you think would happen?” you say, placing your hand on top of his. He leans over and kisses your cheek again. He already knows his parents love you. Anyone who can make them laugh is someone they love, even if it does involve embarrassing their son. 

You look at Quinn’s parents who are beaming at the two of you. “She’s probably the only girlfriend of yours that I’ve liked, Q,” Luke says into his food, his parents nodding along in agreement.

“I’ve liked the other ones, but I like her the best,” Quinn says, taking your hand in his and kissing it . You can’t help but blush as all the worry that you had about meeting his family has melted away. 

The rest of the dinner went great. It felt like they liked you; any time you tried to make them laugh, they did, they didn’t seem to mind Quinn showing affection towards you, they shared stories about Quinn and Luke growing up that you loved. You just hope they actually liked you. What if they were faking everything? Judging by what you know about Quinn, you didn’t think they actually would, but there’s also a chance they’re really good actors. 

At the end of the dinner, you’re back to being a little nervous, but at least you had fun, right? Once you’re in the car, Quinn starts gushing, “Oh, my god, they loved you!” 

“You sound a little shocked considering you’re the one you who was saying they would from the start.” 

“Well, yeah, but I think they like you more than they like me?” he says as his phone starts buzzing with a text from Luke, “Wanna read that for me?” 

‘She’s great, Q. We all love her.’ You can’t help but blush as you read it out loud to him, the smile on his face as big as it can be.

“I told you! They love you. I love you.”

“I love you, too.” 

[sasuhinasno1fan]

Eternal eclipse - Klance Month Week 4

I have no idea where I was going with this but it happened, so yeah. I do wanna redo week 2 of @monthlyklance at some point, but I’ve got a mer bang to finish, so don’t be too surprised if the last prompt for this week is late. Enjoy I guess. Eclipse/Victory

“I’m the sun and your the moon.”

“What does that even mean?”

“We’re apart, but an eclipse is a moment worth watching.”

Keith burst into laughter. “That made no sense.”

“Yes it does!”

“No it doesn’t.”

Crappy webcams couldn’t distort the pout on Lance’s lips.

“What I mean is when they do get to pass each other, it’s one of the world greatest wonders and us being reunited would be the airport’s greatest wonder. Or at least, me getting to see you would be mine.”

While the analogy made no sense what so ever, knowing that he was Lance’s always put a smile on his face. Even when they were miles apart.

He and Lance met at a convention and had a slight competition over who had the better mecha lion cosplay from their shared favourite show, Space Warriors. Keith wouldn’t admit it then, but Lance had won with his Blue Lion cosplay, seeing as the people he came with were engineers and had made the moving pieces of their costumes. Lance himself, despite being a professional stage manager, was able to create the light up weapons they used. Keith made his Red Lion cosplay with hard work and long nights but he was willing to wave the white flag, if Lance hadn’t been so smug about it. In the 3 days of the convention, they always seemed to bump into each other, competing over the smallest things, like who could get a better score in the game room or who could find the better deal on a plush in the dealer’s hall. Even though they spent a good amount of time arguing, Lance had given him his number and told him to call if he ever wanted to admit Lance was better.

Keith was mostly never planning but he was working on a cosplay and the top didn’t look right and he had no other friends who liked cosplay, so he texted Lance.

‘Ah, so you admit I am the better cosplayer. it’s fine, no need to send a voice memo saying so. By the way, the shirt is the wrong colour if that’s the character your going for. You can actually order to correct colour from Jo Anne’s if you want to make it yourself. Check H&M or Forever 21 for similar looking shirts in the correct colour.’

While he rolled his eyes at how utterly smug the guy sounded, he took his advice. It was easier to get the shirt and fix it up himself and it was actually surprising how close to the real thing he needed was. Their relationship continued in asking for advice on cosplays or line ups for conventions and then he happened to find Lance’s Instagram.

Keith kept his cosplays and personal life separate, but Lance combined everything. Pictures of his cat, pictures of the beach, pictures of his friends as they lounged around, somewhat professional pictures as Lance worked, even though Keith knew enough about theatre to know Lance should be completely in the dark in the booth. So, Keith started asking questions about his life, Lance asked about his and they started to become friends. Lance could still be as snooty about his cosplay skills as possible but he was always helpful when it came to offering advice. Somehow it took finding a small fandom they both liked to make them closer.

“Whoa, wait a second. You like Kirarin Revolution?”

“Yeah?” Keith had been playing his usual cosplay making focus playlist and the second opening had come on and Lance heard it over the phone.

“Do you have any idea how hard it is to find someone who likes that anime? Almost no one knows it! I’ve been trying to find someone to be my Hiroto to my Seiji for a cosplay. What convention are you going to next?”

“Um, Galaxy Con?”

“Prefect, text me your sizes. we’re doing a cosplay together.”

“Wait, my size?”

“How else am I suppose to make your cosplay?”

“Wait what?”

Lance would not be swayed and when he arrived at his hotel on badge pick up day, like a hound dog, Lance found him and put him in his cosplay to do finishing touches. He even styled his wig for him.

“Why don’t we do this more?” Lance asked as he fixed the feathered pieces for the coat.

“Because you live in LA and I live in Texas.”

Despite Lance claiming not a lot of people knew the anime, they had made quite a hit at the convention. He became good friends with Hunk and Pidge and got to see another side to Lance that wasn’t hidden in smugness. Lance was actually a pretty nice guy and once they had separated again, they still kept that closeness they gained during that convention. They had even started to stream animes together, texting each other on everything.

Even with the distance between and the fact that they didn’t always go to the same convention and see each other, they kept getting closer and closer. One day, they were video chatting and Lance had been falling asleep on himself. His cat had joined him and was asleep herself and looking at him with his face squished by his hand, his half awake eyes and how he was all cosied up, Keith couldn’t help thinking he looked really cute.

He might not of been one for relationships, but was he even considering doing a relationship when your significant other lived so far away. Ok, maybe not that far, but long distance was hard. There was a reason it had such a stigma around it, even if people claimed it could work out.

Keith broached the subject and while ecstatic that Lance felt the same, he’d been as worried as Lance was. They were such good friends, what if this relationship didn’t work?

It took a lot of communication to make it work. Keith tended to keep things inside, including his nerves about how to act around Lance when they could meet at conventions. Lance was always nervous he’d be too clingy. There was a good moment where they stopped talking because not talking meant things couldn’t change or get worse. It was miserable and if it hadn’t been for Shiro – and Hunk on Lance’s side – it would of kept up. Once they talked everything through, it got better. It wasn’t like they’d go ages without seeing each other. Keith always saved up his vacation days at the Fire Station for conventions and he was always working so often anyway that the guys kept insisting he take more time off. Plus they loved teasing him about Lance, trying to sneak into the background of any video calls.

Lance would talk to Keith during shows that he knew the cues for like the back of his hand. He considered it worth getting in trouble for. he’d always count down to the next convention they’d meet at, somehow always knowing where he’d bump into Keith. they’d been doing it for a year now. There were long periods were they couldn’t  see each other at conventions, maybe due to flight issues or work and the distance, while manageable, did hurt. Keith didn’t know why he didn’t just take a random week off when the theatre Lance worked with was in the dark and just spend the week with him. Maybe the fear that without conventions, they’d fall apart. Not a healthy way to live, which was why he was sure Lance announced on this very chat he was coming to visit him. Which kinda lead to their discussion on eclipses. When Lance was in town, in between actually hanging out and not sticking to a convention schedule, he wanted to make a couples cosplay with him. they’d been bouncing back ideas, almost going with Zuko and Sokka from ATLA (even though Keith knew he was more into Zuko and Katara), when Keith went on a tangent about the BNHA manga.

“You know I rarely read manga half the time.” Lance complained.

“I think you’ll like this one. The artist made this little drawing moon Todoroki and Sun Izuku and tododeku shippers have been going insane. it’s a whole huge thing now. I mean, everyone already says things like ‘oh the moon and sun get to kiss each other during an eclipse’. I must of seen 1000 fan arts of those two getting their kiss.”

“Oh! We should do that! it’ll be like us!”

which then lead back into their current conversation.

“Lance, when I get to see you, it’s not going to be a one time thing to kiss you. If it’s up to me, I wouldn’t stop. We might not even get any cosplay work done because I’ll be too busy kissing you.”

“Ooh, eternal eclipse. Kinda like the final battle with the Dead Moon Circus.”

Keith furrowed his brow. “What?”

“Sailor Moon? My god Keith, we might not be doing any cosplay stuff if I have to school you on essential anime.”

Keith rolled his eyes. “It’s not essential.”

“Keith, it’s changed the whole game. it’s essential.”

Keith could put up being school with ‘essential anime’, as long as he got Lance with it.

[themarchblessing]

PASAR LA NOCHE CON ME

SABRINA

“Ravyn!” I yelled over my shoulder. “I need your help!”

“Bitch..why are you yelling? I’m right outside.” She said coming into view. “Ow! Te ves increíble en ese vestido de mami! You look like a three course meal and don’t get me started on the shoes. Where in the hell did you get those?” She rambled with excitement. Her compliment made my heart thud in my chest and my palms sweaty. Tonight is Brian’s birthday so he invited Ray and I to come along to his party at this club in Manhattan. It’s now going on 10:30 and I’m still not ready. I had Ravyn come over to the house two hours ago so we could get ready together. She’s all dressed and ready but me? I’m having trouble piecing together a full look for this damn party.

I bought a new dress, some new jewelry and brought out the shoes Corey gifted me a few weeks back. The sandals are a perfect fit and they’re super comfortable for four and a half inch heels. I know for a fact Corey will be there since Brian is his best friend and all. I just want to look my best since we’re going out.

“Are you sure this isn’t too much? Ravyn I need your honest opinion.” Turning around I flipped my hair over my shoulder and smoothed out the fabric of the dress.

She walked around me and adjusted some areas, stopping in front of me. “You look beautiful honey. Stop being so hard on yourself and really look in the mirror.” She smiled turning me around by my shoulders. I followed her advice and did a once over of myself, spinning in a slow circle.

I do feel good about my appearance. I think seeing Corey tonight is what’s making me nervous. That night I went to dinner with J has fucked with my mental ever since then. Nobody knows I even went out with him and nobody knows we slept together. I was pretty tipsy so that’s where majority of the influence was derived from. But it’s the reason I enjoyed the night so much that’s eating me up. I’ve never fantasized about another man during sex before. I feel like a such a terrible and stupid person.

“Now..get your pretty ass out of this room so we can go have some fun. I’m ready to shake this ass that I have worked very hard for so let’s go, right now mujer!” She clapped loudly. Ravyn left the room leaving me to check myself out one more time. I brushed through my hair once more again seeing my curls soften out more, I applied lotion to key spots, spritzed on more perfume, and went around the room. Grabbing my littlest purse I killed the lights in the bedroom and followed Ravyn outside to her car.

Tonight is going to be fun and I’m going to get drunk. I can see it happening now. The ride to TAO is a half an hour ride from my house which gives me time to relax and have a little fun of my own with my girl.

“Reach in my bag and pull out the yellow makeup bag. I have some party favors in there I have been dying to use. You told them we were coming yeah?” She asked.

“Just sent Corey a text.” I uttered unzipping the small pouch. “What am I looking for?” I quizzed tucking my hair behind my ear.

“Edibles. They’re sour and they’re potent so I’m warming you now. You only need one because of the dosage but I’m taking two. I’ve been hella stressed these last few days and I need to chill out. They should be in single packs. I’ve got tons of flavors so pick whatever you like mami.” I found what she was talking about and opened two packs for her dumping them into her open palm. “Mmm, sour apple is the best!” She excitedly cheered.

Chuckling at her dumb ass I took two for myself hoping to relax just as much as her. The remainder of the ride to the club is going so smooth. I feel so calm, my body feels warm, and now my hormones are acting up. That one night with Julian made me miss having sex on somewhat of a regular basis. I don’t know what I’m going to get into tonight but I know it’ll be interesting. Ravyn’s playlist set the perfect ambiance to get us into a carefree, relaxed, party mood. The line to get in was filled with people but thankfully we don’t have to wait in line. Brian ended up calling in a favor so instead of Ray having to park on the street, we used the valet that Brian had set up for all of his guests. The loud boom of music that bounced off the walls meshed with the sounds of partygoers made it sound like a live concert in here.

“This place is packed! How are we gonna find the guys?” Ray spoke in my ear as I looked around the room. I don’t even know how we’re going to do that. There’s people everywhere you look! At the bar, the lounge tables, the dance floor, near the bathroom, just everywhere! I spotted two men standing in front of a set of stairs meaning the group must be up on the next level.

“This way!” I shouted over the music. I held onto her hand so we didn’t separate as we made our way over to the stairs.

“You here for Brian Lux’s party?” The guy asked as we stepped in front of them.

“Yes we are. Do you need our na-“

“Finally! What the hell took y’all so long!?” I looked up to see Brian jogging down the steps with a bottle of Jack in his hand. He looks faded already which is a given since this night is all about him.

“Fashion problems..” I shrugged.

“Let ‘em up bruh, they’re definitely with me. Come on let me introduce y’all to some of my friends.” Brian took us around so we could meet everyone in our circle for the night. Men left and right were gawking at us, and some even hit on me but thankfully Brian and Ravyn shut that all the way down. This lounge area that Brian reserved just for tonight is perfect for the amount of people he invited. His friends and co-workers are all very kind and have a good sense of humor. With everyone in such a good mood the night should be a breeze.

So far the night has surpassed all of my expectations. My nerves vanished after my first two shots, thanks to the dudes who hit on me and my high is settling well with me. Being a full time señora doesn’t allow me much free time to really let my hair down and be a woman. With the respect and love I have for my role as a parent I still need to create that time for myself to take a night off every once in a while. And all thanks to my girl Ray and her mother, I can do just that and not feel guilty about anything. Rochelle is keeping my baby boy tonight so I’m not too worried about him but I still miss him very much.  

Ray and I got comfortable within a group of people who were all smoking and drinking. All kinds of party favors were going around up here. “Here B, take this.” Ravyn said, tapping my leg. Putting my phone back inside my little purse I pushed back on the seat taking the shot and drink from her.

“Ravyn what is this? Don’t try to kill me now..I still have a baby to care for once I’m sober again.” Bringing the shot glass to my nose I shrugged and threw it back tasting the burn and cinnamon. This is definitely Fireball.

“I am not trying to kill you. You wanna dance? It’s a lot of yummy looking men out there..” Ray sang out, swaying beside me while sucking down her drink.

“What else did we come here to do?” I slurred with sass. Sipping from my drink as well I followed Ravyn down to the main dance floor. A few other girls and some guys they were conversing with followed us and soon we had a whole party down here. We all took turns dancing with one another, laughing, just feeding off of each other’s vibes. The sound of cumbia music blared through the speakers shocking me to the core. No club I’ve ever been to has openly played any sort of Latin music so to hear music from my grandmother’s home country is blowing my mind.

The music mixed with the liquor and the edibles did a number on me. I’ve been dancing my ass off for most of the time that we’ve been here, feeling like I’m 20 years old again.

“You sure know how to keep a man’s attention.” A voice said from out of nowhere. My face straightened out in confusion thinking I was about to be hit on by another drunk idiot until I laid eyes on him.

“You’re creepy as fuck you know that?” I shook my head at this fool waiting so long to make an appearance. Ever since we arrived I’ve been dying to know where he is. Sipping on the last of my drink I successfully pushed my empty glass into some random girl’s hand.

“Oh yeah? Ok, I’ll remember that.” Corey’s lazy smile and extremely red eyes told me exactly what level he’s on. He’s not much of a drinker or avid smoker but I can smell the weed practically radiating off of his body.

Rolling my eyes at the joke he fed into I picked up my mass of hair and held it on top of my head for a minute. “I’m just kidding. Who did you come here with aside from the birthday boy?” Licking my lips I dropped my hands to my hips and scanned around us quickly.

“Just him. I ain’t come here with nobody special. What about you?” He rebutted, stepping closer to me as some people moved around behind him. Somebody bumped him causing us to be pushed really close together.

“Um..” I mumbled, feeling my heart race in my chest. Why do I feel so nervous right now? “Ravyn. Just Ravyn. How was your trip to Miami?” I asked, slowly putting some space between us.

Corey shrugged lazily and waved to someone behind me. “It was hot. I wish you could’ve came down with me. You always said how badly you wanted to visit the 305. You would’ve loved it B.” He nodded surely. A woman holding a tray of shots appeared and Corey took two. “For you.” He handed me the shot and without hesitating I swallowed every drop of liquor which I came to realize is Hennessy.

“You and Ravyn are equally trying to knock me on my ass tonight. Ooh..” Handing Corey my empty glass I fanned myself and pulled at my dress feeling my body temperature skyrocket.

“Not even close. I see you’re wearing them..” His vision darted down to my feet and so did mine, us both looking at the heels he got for me. I still can’t believe this man bought nearly thirteen hundred dollar Gucci sandals. But he wasn’t lying to Zay when he said I’m secretly in awe with Gucci’s style.

Lifting my head I pushed my curls back and sucked on the inside of bottom lip. “I really do love them. But you did not have to do this for me, you know that right?” Fixing the collar on his shirt I got lost in myself, getting handsy with him. He didn’t seem to mind so I didn’t think anything of it.

“You can keep saying that all you want but it won’t change anything. You uh, care to show me how it’s done with this music? You’re the only expert in here I know.” The growing smile on his face made my heart skip a beat. This liquor has me so fucking gone. I’m reading into moments I never do, I practically molested him with my hands just a few moments ago and then came the memory. Two memories to be exact. The night we kissed two months ago and the night I had sex with Julian. I remember painting a mental picture of Corey’s face while J was eating me out. And once we started having sex, the visuals just continued rolling like a never ending screen of credits. And I’m so proud of myself for being conscious enough to make Julian wear a condom.

Without a word I let my state of mind and my hormones do all the talking for me. The selection of music is supreme tonight. Every genre that you can move your hips to and sing along to took over the entire club. Everyone around us is having a grand old time enjoying a night of no stress and work. Tonight is about all play and I’m okay with that.

After another hour of dancing I felt reality slip away from me each time the song changed over to a new one. Not one guy came to bother me because of the fact that Corey never left my side. He’s an angel for playing along knowing very well that I hate strange men flirting with me. This little charade we played didn’t feel wrong though. We’ve never been like this around each other let alone in public. We’re once again crossing over into new territory. The drugs and the liquor are the motivators for the behavior we’re displaying tonight.

“You know something..I can’t feel anything.” I spoke in his ear, using him as support so I didn’t fall.

“That’s the liquor talking. What else have you had?” He asked, running his hand over the side of my head gingerly. His fingertips brushed along the outer edge of my ear, giving me goosebumps.

“Well..” I dragged out standing up straight feeling his hands on my lower back. “Aside from the shots and the drinks, a few edibles.” I shrugged innocently. Laying my head on his chest I threw an arm over his shoulder taking in his scent it’s the same cologne he wore to Izaiah’s party. It smells ten times better now than it did when I first got to sample it. “Mm..hueles tan bien..” I moaned. The way he smells right now is arousing me for some odd reason.

“What did you say?” He chuckled deeply, holding me close. Our bodies fit together like puzzle pieces, he fit into me as well as I fit into him. Un ajuste perfecto.

“You smell really good. Hueles tan bien.” I repeated, lifting my head to meet his hazy and half open eyes. Once again but this time on my count, history repeated itself. My soul set off like a round of fireworks as we kissed like no one was watching us. The moment began just like the last and turned into something much more than I anticipated. We started in the middle of the room and ended up against a wall that kind of hid us from other eyes.

His lips traveled from mine to my jawline and then down to my neck. Tilting my head to the side I felt my hair tickle my arm as I eagerly welcomed the trade off of his mouth and tongue against my hot skin. “Te quiero tanto,” I moaned feeling his hands tease the hem of my short ass dress. He moved to my ass making himself comfortable there while my arms stayed around his neck.

“You sure about that?” He grumbled, teasing me in the worst ways a woman could imagine.

Cupping the sides of his face in my hands I looked at him with such blurry vision. My eyesight may be tweaked but I know who this is. No amount of liquor could make me forget. “Yeah I’m sure..” Running my thumbs over his cheek I met him halfway and reconnected our mouths. Every part of me has been craving this man and I want him now while I have the chance.

This kiss is a battle purely for control. It’s a battle to see who wants who more. But I think the energy on his side matches mine, no argument needed.

“Come on,” he hastily parted from me leering at me with faded eyes. I followed Corey somewhere and once we were lone in this room that appears to be an office, I pressed play again. I practically threw myself onto him and he welcomed my eagerness. He embraced my desire for intimacy and accepted the moment for that it is rather reading into it too far.

Us not being in view of anyone else granted us the chance to really take things up a notch. Corey gripped my hips firmly and picked me up off the floor. I instantly wrapped my legs around his waist watching my hair cover him partly since I’m now towering over him a little. He carried me over to an empty desk and just continued on from there.

“Corey I need you,” I blurted out. He backed up from me, his chest noticeably moving up and down.

“Here?” He breathed heavily searching my eyes for clarification. The beat of the music crept into the room creating just enough of the mood I was hoping for.

Nodding instantly I pulled my dress up over my hips and ass giving him silent permission to continue what we’ve started. The hunger in his stare solidified that he’s still on the same page as me. He didn’t speak. He just fed into the moment, feeding both of our egos and current desires. I saw him reach for his back pocket and I couldn’t fight the laugh. Hassan would be so proud to know that his son still stays strapped with protection to this day. Corey is the only man I know who actually cares about his sexual health and staying safe.

“You don’t need it.” I breathed, kissing different areas of his face.

“Sabrina are you sure?” He asked caringly.

“I trust you.” I don’t know what I mean by that. But I just don’t want to him to use the rubber.  This is that time. That time we never had a serious conversation about. The line that we unspokenly agreed to never cross is about to be annihilated but that didn’t stop Corey from needing more reassurance. “Corey, please believe me when I tell you that I trust you more than you can imagine. I need this and I need you. All of you.” I spoke. Nibbling on my bottom lip I studied his face swallowing the lump in my throat.

The air made it in between my legs creeping all the way up my back. My final okay sealed the deal. I heard that zipper come undone and even though I’m a little nervous to actually do this, I’m ready in a sense. All of my thoughts of him when I was fucking J and that kiss don’t mean nothing. I think Corey noticed that I got a little nervous so as a way of helping to relax he kissed me gently washing away my thoughts of uncertainty. And my thoughts of Julian altogether.

The shock of him taking his time to get this going did not fade. No, it stayed with me. And when I felt full I no longer could look him in the eye. If I were to possess some weird, freaky habit right now it would be the ability to come out of my own body and watch the scene that’s playing out. I can’t believe we’re actually doing this. The back of my eyelids are a beautiful sight being that my brain needs time registering our actions.

As I looked up at the ceiling my mouth formed a full circle the further he inched himself inside of me. Then my lip made its way underneath my teeth as I shivered from the pleasure.

“You okay?” He uttered for the first time in what seemed like forever.

“Yes..” I moaned without any doubts. “I’m perfect.” I assured him. My state of arousal caught up with me to feed into what he’s giving me. I got one hand on his hip and the other on the small of his back. I didn’t feel the need to think about anything else. This is different than sex with J. That was good but this..this is fulfilling to my soul and my inhibitions. I’m very drunk and I even though don’t know how long this moment will last I hope it doesn’t end soon.

COREY

Leaning back on the table I watched her fix her dress and hair before we go back into the club. I just fucked my best friend. Damn. I still haven’t told her that I’m Zay’s dad which is making me feel a million different mixed emotions. Being here for my boy’s birthday is not the ideal place to have that talk so yet again I’ll have to put it it on hold. My mind is flooded with bits and pieces of what we just did. And she let me hit it raw. That’s a pleasurable memory I’ll take to the grave. I doubt if this means anything or if it’ll ever happen again but at least I got to say we crossed that line. And it was so good too. It’s a shame I can’t relive one of my all time favorite moments. Now I have my own personal experience of what sex is like with Sabrina Guerrero.

“What are you smiling about?” She spoke taking me out of my thoughts. I didn’t realize I was.

“I just-I don’t know.” Running a hand over my mouth I pushed off the table and walked over to her. She toyed with her hands as we stared at one another not speaking.

“I don’t really know what to say right now. I don’t want this to be awkward for either of one us but I’m speechless. Except for what I’m saying right now. But even with that said I’m not sure what to really say.” She babbled on with a certain look in her eye. Her pretty brown eyes had a red tint exposing how fucked up she is.

“Good speechless or bad speechless?” I asked, pulling some hair out from under the shoulder of her dress.

“Good speechless.” She assured. “So what now..”

“Well I’m more than positive Brian is acting a fucking fool so we go back out there. Or I can take you home, it’s up to you Lori..” her hands found themselves on my chest but they didn’t stay there. Nah she was feeling herself emotionally and feeling on me physically.

“I don’t want to go home tonight.” She groaned softly. That’s all I needed to hear. Sabrina and I went back to the party like nothing happened. Well almost. No one questioned where we went but when Brian spotted me he looked back and forth between Bri and I with a stupid ass grin on his face.

We went right back to partying and drinking as if we hadn’t had enough to drink already. I’m good with my mine. I can hold all my liquor and I know Sabrina can so the rest of our time together is going to be one hell of a night. We stayed at the club for another couple of hours leaving with some people Brian and I came with. Placing my jacket over Bri’s shoulders as we stepped outside I looked for the guy who I gave my car to earlier. I spotted him up ahead stepping out of the driver’s seat.

Sabrina was lost in the cars going up and down the street and the people coming in and out of the club. Placing my hand on her lower back earning her attention. “Come on..” I walked behind Sabrina over to my car helping her inside first.

“Here are you Sir.” He said as I closed the door once she was fully in the passenger seat. I turned around and exchanged my keys for his tip, getting in the front seat, taking off down the street. This drive back to Brooklyn is going to be fast one. I smoked just shy of three blunts and finished the remaining bottle of Jack that was passed amongst our group. I’m so damn faded.

With what happened in that room I can only imagine what’s it gonna be like once we’re actually alone.

“You alright? You haven’t said much.” I spoke up as we made it to FDR drive. Glancing over I saw her on her phone.

She looked up at me and nodded. “I’m okay. I just wanted to see if he was awake but he’s not. He’s sound asleep.” She mumbled, slipping her phone back into her purse. She pulled my jacket around her some more and began fiddling with the tips with her hair.

“Izaiah?” I asked, moving in and out of traffic.

“Mhm. He’s with Ravyn’s mom tonight. I miss him.” She sighed and sank into the seat. From the corner of my eye I saw a flash of light come from the floor. The lights on the side of the highway must have caught her shoes at a good angle.

Just thinking of little man made me aware once again that I still haven’t told her the truth. She has no idea that we are indeed a family. She has no idea that Julian isn’t Izaiah’s father, but I am. The way life works is so funny to me. Here I am with the mother of my child and best friend who I had drunk sex with for the first time in my life hours ago. And she’s clueless that I’m the reason she even had a baby.

The rest of the drive we listened to music without talking too much. One thing I love about Sabrina is that she’s okay with silence every now and then. She’s okay with living in the moment and not trying to find something to talk about at every turn. I’m the type to get lost in my thoughts and forget that I’m with someone in real life and not speak for maybe hours at a time. So many people have judged me and called me out on my shit but Bri doesn’t. Why? Because she does the same thing. We got to my building, I gave my car over to Joey who’s the regular valet person who works overnight.

“What’s up man?” He spoke shaking my hand.

“Shit man. Had a long night.” My speech slurring made him laugh.

“You don’t have to tell me. It’s all over your face man. Have a good night bro.” He dipped away inside the car, closing the door and pulling off towards the garage.

“Why am I so cold right now?” I looked down at Bri to find her hugging herself for dear life.

“Let me get you upstairs before you freeze to death.” Laughing at her attempt to warm herself up as if that would completely fix the problem I walked beside her to the elevator.

“Good evening Mr. Howard, or good morning I should say.” Lucy spoke up.

“Hi Lucy. You okay down here?” I asked wanting to make sure she feels safe.

She waved her hand at me and smiled. “I’m fine love. You get this beautiful lady out of this cold before she gets sick. Go on now.” She pointed out picking up her paper again.

“She stays down here alone all night?” Bri asked as got inside the elevator.

“Mhm. Trust me she’s not afraid of this job. She’s a lot more lethal than she looks.” I stated truthfully. Our ride up was quick. When we got into the hallway Sabrina began taking my jacket off and held onto it. Unlocking the door I allowed her to step inside first.

“It’s been so long since I’ve been here it feels like deja vu.” She said laying my jacket on the countertop along with her purse. She then began to take her heels off.

“Leave those on.” I demanded. She did as I asked and walked into my room without another word. Following behind Bri I spotted her standing in front of the window, drawing the curtains back.

“I’ve never seen the view from in here at night.” She stepped back and did that thing with her hair again. She was holding all of it at the top of her head as she admires the view. “Es tan hermoso. I can see so far out.” Sighing deeply I decided to bask in the same view as her. The sweet smell of her perfume, the scent of her hair, and just having her here is making my dick hard. Sabrina has spent the night plenty of times over the years but nothing like this. I can’t call it a one night stand or anything degrading because of how much value she holds to me.

Grabbing her hands I freed them of her mane and interlaced her fingers with mine. I remember when we were like twelve or somewhere around that age and Bri had come over to my house one day. My parents weren’t home that weekend and she was going through some shit at her house so I offered to let her stay with me. Anyway, she was telling about what was going on at home and then she started crying. After I got her to calm down she had fell asleep and so I carried her to my sisters room. At that time and still today my sister wasn’t around much so her room was the perfect place to let Bri sleep in peace. I’ll never forget this night. Fast forward and I was knee deep in sleep and all of a sudden I woke up feeling somebody touch me. Something told me that Bri wasn’t happy about being in that room by herself so I let her lay with me in my bed. We didn’t talk for the rest of the night but right before she fell asleep she accidentally or purposely, I never figured out which, felt me up. I couldn’t fight how excited she made me. I couldn’t control it.

It just happened. When I tell you I experienced my first hard dick at the age of twelve because of her, I’m not bullshitting. Lori was the only female friend I had growing up and I always thought she was a pretty girl. So to be touched by her sexually for the first time in my life was life changing.

“Corey, what are you thinking about, love?” Sabrina wrapped my arms around her waist turning her head upward to look at me.

“This first time I ever felt my dick get hard thanks to you.” I admitted.

“What? How did I have anything to do with that?” Oh yeah she clearly does not remember.

“Don’t worry about it. It was a long time ago. Look I’m glad you’re here.” I haven’t seen much of her and Izaiah lately since our work schedules keep clashing. I’ve been busy so much like it’s not even crazy. Bri lets me talk to him on the phone as much as I want and he’ll call me whenever he wants but I like being in his presence physically. And obviously hers too.

“Thank you for letting me stay. I didn’t wanna be alone tonight. And I’m sorry for being so distant it wasn’t on purpose.” She turned around to face me, holding onto me for support.

Silently I started unzip her dress. Once it went as far as it could go I pushed the soft material down all the way to her hips. “You can stay the night whenever you want to. I might be drunk be I mean it. You and m-Izaiah can be here as often as you like.” I almost slipped up and called him my son but I caught myself.

“Cuando queramos? Estás segura?” She questioned holding her hair out of the way.

“If that means whenever you want to then yeah. Take this off.” I ordered. If there’s one thing I’ve come to realize it’s that dark liquor mixed with weed makes me demanding. Complying to my demand with no problem she and I worked together to get her out of this dress. I know she’s been dying to get out of this and now this is the time. As I helped her step out of her clothes I noticed tattoos I’ve never seen before. One wrapped around her ankle, another one on both sides of her hips, and the last one was encasing her left thigh. “Where did these come from?” I asked in shock the Sabrina actually faced the needle. I tried to convince her to get one in college but she said no. Her exact words were ‘hell no and fuck that’ but I guess she had a change in heart.

“Change in heart. They hurt like hell too.” She chuckled, tucking her hair behind her ear. Being curious to see what they all are I took a minute to get a good look at every one of them. The writing on her thigh is in Spanish so of course I’m naturally fascinated to find out the meaning. “This one if you can’t read it that well says ‘eres tu propia mina de oro’ meaning you are your own gold mine. Or I am my own gold mine.” She explained as I ran my my fingers over the small words.

Picking up her leg I got a closer look seeing a feather on top of her foot connected to what looks like small beads.

“I got this one for Leo. You remember him? He called you Chino every time I talked to him about you. I miss him.” Hearing her say in less words that her mother’s father passed away struck a nerve. I lost my grandfather on my mom’s side two days after my birthday, three years ago.

Deciding not to go further into this topic I placed her foot back on the floor and stood up to full height. Walking around her to check out the ink that made me curious most of all I felt my jaw drop. Covering her entire lower back is a half skull half woman who’s eyes weren’t filled in. She’s a representation of an old school pin up girl with a teardrop under her left eye. The surrounding ink were roses and smoke and a ton of shading. One would claim this piece is depressing but to someone like myself, I know otherwise.

This time she didn’t have to explain the meaning of this one. I know it’s a cover up. She never and I mean never told me how she got third degree burn marks and scars along her lower back. I know who did this to her. The ink is a symbol of Ace breaking her. In simple words, Bri was like broken glass after she left that nigga. He broke her down in so many ways it’s depressing to even think about let alone talk about.

She turned to the side causing her hair to shift and swing over her shoulder. I looked up in time to see yet another tattoo I have never noticed. The stars on the back of her neck traveled almost to the point of touching the buckle of her bra. They’re all blacked out.

“I hate him so much for all the fucked up shit he did to me.” She said touching the ink on her lower back. “You know once upon a time he told me he’d kill me if I ever spoke to you again. He hated you so much. But not as much I hate him for treating me like I meant nothing. My mom cried herself to sleep every night until I told her I left him. Her worst fear was getting a phone call from you or Ravyn or somebody saying that he actually did kill me.” Quickly she took her heels off pushing them aside with her feet. She moans in satisfaction to have her feet bare and free to move about.

I knew Ace threatened her but I didn’t know to what extent his words went. “Lori, you know you’re better than that right?” Kissing her shoulder I repeated my actions, internally regretting not going through the plan Brian and I came up with. Sabrina knew what I had did to Ace. But she never knew I had other plans for him.

“I know baby I know. I was young and very dumb when it came to him. I never told anyone not even my mom knew that he was the reason I almost couldn’t have kids.” I tensed up feeling like my heart had stopped. Just thinking about her never bringing up the idea to have a baby killed me. Because not only is that her baby but he’s mine too. Selfishly I envisioned not meeting up her that night in the city when she first got back. If Ace was successful in whatever he was doing to her I wouldn’t be a father today. Sabrina wouldn’t be a mom and we certainly wouldn’t have gotten to where we are in this very moment.

Sabrina started crying which broke me down to see her so distraught over somebody like Ace. Sweeping her off her feet I carried over to my bed laying her down with ease. Nothing I can say will take away the all pain she experienced in the past. But what I can do is try to make her forget. Even just for the night.

[faeriefully]

I want you to answer ALL THE QUESTIONS in the writer's ask. ALL OF THEM. lol

DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU’RE ASKING FOR, MY DEAR??? DO YOU REALLY??? 🖤 Okay, let’s go! Thank you, lovely. 

1. Tell us about your WIP!

I am currently working on the first draft of the Fire Novel™️, a contemporary fantasy set in a small town filled with magic and secrets and unspoken politics. 

There are also a few fanfic WIP that I am tossing around, including a PJO Princess Protection Program AU, an angsty pjo fic. (I’m pretty sure a Star Wars fic is about to join them.) 

2. Where is your favorite place to write?

I’m not too picky, but I do prefer to be somewhere I can be left alone. My current home life has made me able to adapt to people moving around me and background noise (though most times I write with headphones in… like right now). I’ve written in bed, at a table, in my closet, on the floor, and I’m rather fond of writing outside. 

3. What is your favorite/least favorite part about writing?

Favorite: Being able to explore worlds and characters that I’ve created. (Or, in fic, the situations and complexity of characters that I love).

Least Favorite: Constant doubt that I can do this, pressure I put myself under in order to call myself a writer. 

4. Do you have any writing habits/rituals?

Do making character charts, outlining other stories, and searching twenty minutes for the perfect “mood song” when I should be writing, count as habits or rituals? 

5. Top five formative books?

This one is hard. I’ve been reading as long as I can remember- and before that, my mother read to me. There are a few that stand out, I think, as what you could call formative for me as a person and writer. Most are children’s books. (I’m going to cheat and mention series.)  Also, I’m not listing the Bible because I’m sure this is meaning fictional books. 

The Chronicles of Narnia by C. S. Lewis was the first series I bought, then read all by myself. It’s been dear to my heart and taught me so much as I’ve grown. 

The Little House books by Laura Ingles Wilder taught me so much about family, and they were something my mother and I bonded over as she read them to me. (She also read me the first three Narnia books as a child.) 

Harry Potter… because… Harry Potter… 

The Willow Falls series by Wendy Mass taught me a lot about getting older, people, and threw me into what would be my book hoarding collection. 

The Gallagher Girls series by Ally Carter opened the door to YA for me, and gave me a fun, optimistic start to my teen years, and the basis for my first fanfic which is nearly 100k, and I’m still writing it almost five years later. 

6. Favorite character you’ve written?

That would be Mari, the sarcastic, blunt, mortal girl who shows up at random times when the magic is becoming too much in the Fire Novel™️. 

7. Favorite/most inspirational book?

You expect me to choose one? Um, no. I will give a few titles that are on the ever expanding list. 

The Naturals by Jennifer Lynn Barnes (damaged teenagers working in the FBI…) 

Heartless by Marissa Meyer (the Queen of Heart’s story before Alice…) 

Fangirl by Rainbow Rowell (college freshman and fanfic writer tries to survive in a world she doesn’t understand…) 

Sense and Sensibility by Jane Austen (because I love Jane Austen) 

8. Do you have any writing buddies or critique partners?

I used to. 

9. Favorite/least favorite tropes?

Favorite: Everyone knows/understands something except for one character. OR ‘secret sibling/family member’ or ‘we know each other but we can’t let anyone else know we know each other’. 

Least favorite: non-con (despise it with all my being), also not a fan of “nerdy girl takes off glasses and suddenly everyone wants her.” 

10. Pick an author (or writing friend) to co-write a book with

*cough*@colubrina​*cough* or Jennifer Lynn Barnes 

11. What are you planning to work on next?

*looks at my giant file labeled ‘ideas to write’* *nervous laughter* 

For novels… probably my book about a corrupt monarch system, a girl who doesn’t know when her birthday is, and a gardening boy who’s not all he seems… 

Fics? Umm… probably my Slytherin story about the Greengrass sisters staying with the Order, and most likely a star wars fic… 

12. Which story of yours do you like best? why?

There’s a 100k Gallagher Girls story I wrote over the course of two years (when I was 14-16), and to this day, it is the longest fic and the most complicated plot I’ve ever thought up. It’s my favorite because it was my first real story. It made me realize I could do this. The actual writing is absolutely horrible. 

13. Describe your writing process

Sit. Put in headphones. Scroll through spotify for an absurd amount of time. Open document and read what I last wrote. Cringe and scroll to the end and start writing. 

14. What does it take for you to be ready to write a book? (i.e. do you research? outline? make a playlist or pinterest board? wing it?)

I’m never ready. “Ready” is a concept that writers construct in order to force themselves to push aside the million questions and start writing. But, I do make playlists throughout the writing process, I do have multiple pinterest boards for my characters, and I do like to have at least an idea/sentence summary for the main scenes. I construct the base plot points, and wing it on how I get to them. 

15. How do you deal with self-doubt when writing?

I have a pintrest board with nothing but motivational writing quotes. I remember that I am not obligated to show anyone what I just wrote. I remind myself that published books have not only gone through numerous drafts, but also have been looked over by the author, author’s friends, an agent, and a professional editor. (This: IT’S MY BOOK AND IF I WANT IT TO NOT MAKE ANY SENSE AT ALL THEN THAT’S WHAT IT WILL DO BECAUSE IT’S MINE.)

16. Cover love/dream covers?

I like this picture? That’s about it for ideas on covers for Fire Novel. 

17. What things (scenes/topics/character types) are you most comfortable writing?

Twins. If it were up to me, every single character would have a twin. Ironic, because I have no twin, nor do I interact with twins regularly. I’m also intrigued by unspoken understandings. I love writing those. 

18. Tell us about that one book you’ll never let anyone read

The book with six siblings (four of which are pairs of twins), a zombie apocalypse, a bunch of inside jokes, weird romance, and basically no plot other than forever looking for someone? The one that hasn’t really ended, it’s just a forever story I write when I’m bored or procrastinating? I don’t know what you’re talking about. 

19. How do you cope with writer’s block?

Normally, I play on spotify, making playlists for characters or scenes, read, or make character outlines. Then I sit and set a timer and force myself to hit a word count goal before the timer ends. 

20. Any advice for young writers/advice you wish someone would have given you early on?

Don’t delete anything, just move it to a “deleted stuff” document, you never know when you’ll want to go back to it. It’s okay not to like it, but don’t let everyone saying “I hate my writing” cause you to second guess yourself. If you like your writing- good! Be proud of your writing. Your favorite writer has been exactly where you are. There are billions of people on this planet. Pick one to talk about your writing to. It helps. 

21. What aspect of your writing are you most proud of?

Oh, this won’t sound arrogant or snobbish at all… 

I’m proud of complex characterization, which is something I’ve tried to improve on over the years. The darker characters have always been my fancy. 

22. Tell us about the books on your “to write” list

Only the tropiest book ever about neighboring best friends with overlapping roofs and a girl who moves in across the street. 

And another tropey one about a corrupt monach/class system and the girl who meets the rebellion. 

There’s also one about underground Mages in a darker version of New York and a boy who finds them during a heist. 

23. Most anticipated upcoming books?

Not if I Save You First by Ally Carter

whatever book Jennifer Lynn Barnes is working on

Again, But Better by Christine Riccio

24. Do you remember the moment you decided to become a writer/author?

After two years of reading fanfiction, I decided I wanted to write one because none of them had this one scene I couldn’t get out of my head. Then two years after that, I had this idea for a book, and decided if I could write other people’s worlds, why couldn’t I write my own? 

25. What’s your worldbuilding process like?

It mainly consists of asking, how/why the heck does this happen? And somewhere in there lies the answer to about five world building questions. 

26. What’s the most research you’ve ever put into a book?

For the Fire Novel, I’ve spent hours delving into the severity of burns, multiple myths and folklore, and what life is like when you live at the base of a mountain. 

27. Every writer’s least favorite question - where does your inspiration come from? Do you do certain things to make yourself more inspired? Is it easy for you to come up with story ideas?

I… have no idea. When I’m washing dishes or in karate class or falling asleep is when I get most of my ideas. I have a giant folder of them… I don’t know how they interlock or what half of them mean, but they just pop into my head, begging me to let them distract me from the story I’m currently working on. 

28. How do you stay focused on your own work and how do you deal with comparison?

Focused isn’t really a problem, as I am a very obsessive person. I’ve actually been happy when people compared my writing to others’ in the past, because it was people I used to admire. I’ve had an experience which has made me very individualistic when it comes to my writing. It’s mine. It’s unlike anyone else’s. Good or bad, it’s mine, and I’m (most of the time) proud I’ve written anything at all. 

29. Is writing more of a hobby or do you write with the intention of getting published?

I want to be published eventually. But for now, it’s a hobby. 

30. Do you like to read books similar to your project while you’re drafting or do you stick to non-fiction/un-similar works?

Similar. 

Then again, I read things both like my book and unlike my book while drafting, because it helps to keep my brain from getting into a repetitive cycle. 

31. Top five favorite books in your genre?

My genre? Of my novel? Ummm…

The Darkest Part of the Forrest by Holly Black 

Percy Jackson by Rick Riordan 

Tithe by Holly Black 

Harry Potter 

Elenor and Park by Rainbow Rowell

Those are kinda different… but they fit??? I don’t know the genre of my book, okay? 

32. On average how much do you write in a day? do you have trouble staying focused/getting the word count in?

I’m trying to stick to 1,200 a day. It’s hard some days, and others I fly by it. Really, it’s a matter of not letting myself get distracted by what’s going on in the house when I’m home. If I can do that, I’m okay. 

33. What’s your revision/rewriting process like?

Open document. Look at document. 

Scream. 

After the first draft is done, I pull it up side by side with a blank document, and rewrite the whole thing, adding/taking out/changing the obvious things. Then I step back from the second draft and read it through and dissect it first by plot points, then by characters. Then I work on actual writing quality. 

34. Unpopular writing thoughts/opinions?

Not all my writing sucks? It seems to be the norm that no writer likes their writing, and while I don’t like my first drafts at all, I actually like my writing… it’s why I do it. 

35. Post the last sentence you wrote

Eyeing the twins nuzzling their sister’s side, Seri wondered where Deirdre fell in the line.

They’re Weres… Seri’s meeting Deirdre’s family… It makes sense in context, I swear. 

36. Post a snippet

From a Harry Potter one shot I’m working on… 

Her eyes widened slightly, and her hands lowered from whatever she was about to do with the bundles in her hands. “Oh, hello.”

Theodore blinked. His gaze hadn’t left her hands. “Is that… raw meat?”

The girl glanced down at the pink lumps in her hands, then to the small pile by the tree. “Yes.” The clumps made an horrible squishing sound when they landed in the pile.

37. Do you ever write long handed or do you prefer to type everything?

I journal long handed. I outline and take notes and develop characters long handed, but all story writing is typed unless I am struck with clarity for a scene and I write it down to remember it. 

38. How do you nail voice in your books?

I don’t think I do???

39. Do you spend a lot of time analyzing and studying the work of authors you admire?

Yes. I’ve read and reread so many different books and even fanfics that I love just to study the writing style and techniques. 

40. Do you look up to any of your writer buddies?

@colubrina​, and there were a few others but I can no longer call them buddies. 

41. Are there any books you feel have shaped you as a writer?

The Chronicles of Narnia by C. S. Lewis fed my love of magic and fantasy that means something a bit deeper than the surface appearance. It was the first series I read on my own as a child.

Thirteen Gifts by Wendy Mass was the first book I read with more subtle hints of magic woven in a contemporary setting. It taught me not all fantasy has to be in other worlds or past years. I read this book (the third one) before the others in the series. This book is what made me fall in love with the tropes of “inside jokes the protagonist doesn’t understand, but the reader does” and “I know something you don’t”.

The Candymakers by Wendy Mass is the book that showed me point of view is everything. Your main character can do and know a lot, but they will never know what the other characters are thinking (unless they have a mind bond or something, but you know, let’s ignore that.) Wendy Mass was wonderful to read as a child.

To Kill A Mockingbird by Harper Lee showed me the impact writing can have, the deeper meaning a simple story can have. There are some books that leave me blown away, and this was one.

1984 by George Orwell is by no means a favorite. Reading it was a blood-chilling, horror; but it did teach me the depth and psychology writing can expose, predict, and explore. The worldbuilding in this novel is solid, and leaves you feeling as if you’ve fallen into a terrifying world- especially considering the intentional parallels.

42. How many drafts do you usually write before you feel satisfied?

Define satisfied. I’m ready to show someone after draft two, I’m convinced it’s decent after draft four. I haven’t ever gotten past that stage. 

43. How do you deal with rejection?

Thankfully, I haven’t had to face rejection yet. (Partially because I haven’t let anyone read my writing in a long, long time.) 

44. Why (and when) did you decide to become a writer?

I’ve been writing since I was six. But it wasn’t something I thought about it. There were just little prompts in my little journal thing, and I would write small poems or stories and show them to my parents. 

When I was fourteen, I read a lot of Fred Weasley/OC fanfiction, and couldn’t find the one I wanted to read so I decided to write it. (I tried, and instead got caught up in the Gallagher Girls fic.)  When I was sixteen, a thought for a book concept popped in my head, and a few days later, I told my mother the (first) idea for Fire Novel on our way home from a grocery store. I won my first Nanowrimo that year, and I have yet to finish the first draft for Fire Novel because the story keeps changing, life keeps me from writing, small bout of depression, and some people made me not want to write anymore for a while. 

In the past few months, I’ve decided to be a writer again. 

45. First or third person?

Third. 

Because I jump from character to character too much for First. But, I have written a few things in first person. 

46. Past or present tense?

Past Third Person.

Present First person. 

47. Single or dual/multi POV?

Depends on the story. Most of the time in fafics, I have multi POV. In my novel, I’ve been trying to keep it single POV, but we’ll see where revisions take us. 

48. Do you prefer to write skimpy drafts and flesh them out later, or write too much and cut it back?

Skimpy first drafts. I want to get the first drafts down as fast as possible. Get the plot out, then I can flesh it out when I know where it’s going. When there’s small first drafts, it’s easier to change things. 

49. Favorite fictional world?

Harry Potter. 

STILL MAD I DIDN’T GO TO ILVERMORNY OR HOGWARTS. 

50. Do you share your rough drafts or do you wait until everything is all polished?

Rough drafts are not even recognizable as stories. Most times the story is completely different in the beginning than as the ending. I wait at least until the second draft to show anyone. 

51. Are you a secretive writer or do you talk with your friends about your books?

I used to talk to people. 

I’ve become a very secretive person about my writing. If I talk to you about my stories, if I tell you anything more than two sentences about the most basic summary (see above), then I honestly trust you more than I trust a LOT of other people. 

52. Who do you write for?

Me, myself, and I. 

53. What is the first line of your WIP?

Fire Novel:

Trains, Seri thought, should invest in some windex.

Theodore/Luna HP one shot:

There was a spot at the edge of the lake, partially hidden by a small cluster of trees, that had become Theodore’s favorite spot to read when he wanted to be alone.

PJO Princess Protection Program AU:

The bell hanging over the door chimed as a customer walked inside.

54. Favorite first line/opening you’ve written?

Trains, Seri thought, should invest in some windex.

55. How do you manage your time/make time for writing? (do you set aside time to write every day or do you only write when you have a lot of free time?)

I really need to work on this. I have the time, I simply suck at managing it properly. I write at night mostly, before I go to bed. 

THERE YOU GO, MY DEAR COLLIE! ARE YOU HAPPY NOW!? THANK YOU FOR LETTING ME PROCRASTINATE AND TALK ABOUT MYSELF OFF AND ON FOR A FEW HOURS!!!! 🖤✨🖤

[eldritchsurveys]

780.

How are you coping? >> Well enough, I suppose. You know, by my own standards.

How have things changed for you? >> I can’t go anywhere. That’s pretty much the only change. It used to be that I just didn’t go anywhere a lot of the time because of executive dysfunction or wanting to just be by myself or whatever, but I knew I always had the option. It feels really alien not to have the option. Especially now that the weather is exactly where I like it.

What are three positives to being Isolated or in Quarantine? >> There are no positives that shelter-in-place brought that weren’t already present before it started.

What are three negatives? >> I can’t go anywhere. Like I said, everything else is largely the same for me. (Oh, and the whole mask business for when we do go somewhere that’s allowed isn’t great, either. I hate masks.)

Have you taken on a new hobby? >> Nah.

Have you kicked any bad habits? >> Nah.

Have you watched a lot more television or movies? >> No more than before. I did get into a couple of new shows, though.

Have you been separated from someone you love? >> No, I live with my partner, so.

Discovered any new bands? >> Probably, through the customised playlists on Spotify.

Have you shopped more online? >> Yeah, because 1) I can’t go to any stores and 2) I got $1200 from the US Government.

Have you cooked more? >> No.

Have you baked more? >> No. Sparrow got into bread-making while she was on furlough, I just observed lol.

Have you learned to knit or sew? >> No, I learned how to knit late last year.

Did you end up in Isolation or Quarantine? >> No, I’m just following the executive stay-at-home order.

Did the stores all close? >> I’m not sure what-all exactly is open and what is closed. But I do know that the major grocery chains -- Meijer, ALDI, the like -- are open with modified hours, and restaurants are generally closed for sit-down business but may be open for delivery and/or pick-up. Or drive-thru, if they have that. I’m sure most local stores like boutiques and stuff are closed, but some are doing curbside pickup if they can swing it.

What kind of restrictions did your government put into place? >> Michigan’s governor put out a stay-at-home order that has become strangely controversial lately. We’ve had at least one (armed!) protest in the state capitol.

Has this affected any travel, events or plans for you? >> Yeah, for example my birthday is coming up and I usually go somewhere for it (if not to Chicago, then at least to dinner somewhere). Not this year.

What is the first thing you will do when you get the chance? >> Oh, god, I don’t even know. I feel like I will go apeshit for like a good week. Definitely want to go to Long Road Distillers as soon as we can start going to restaurants again, and I’m probably going to spend way more time downtown than I usually would, just out of gratefulness that I can. Also going to a park. Dear god I miss parks.

With all the crazy in the world, we forget how much we take for granted. Is there anything you feel you had taken for granted? >> Yeah, I took going out and doing things for granted, big time. But, I mean, that’s to be expected.

Let’s finish off with some nicer things!

What is your favourite thing about life? >> Oh, you know. The being-alive part, I guess.

What is your favourite thing about nature? >> Its existence? I don’t really know how to answer questions like this. I just enjoy shit.

Favourite place in the world? >> ---

Favourite animal? >> I’m not sure. I think a lot of animals are neat.

Favourite Colour? >> Gold.

Favourite Foods? >> *shrug*

Favourite Holiday destination? >> New Orleans.

Have you been on a cruise ship? >> No.

Have you flown to a travel destination? >> Sure.

Have you ever been on a bus or train to a holiday destination? >> Yep.

Ever been on a helicopter? >> Nope. I think I’d hate it.

Ever been in a submarine? >> Nope.

Thoughts on Theme Parks? >> I think rollercoasters are the tits, but I hate literally everything else about amusement parks. Sparrow really wants to go [back] to Cedar Point for her birthday, and I absolutely want to go too, but... god. Amusement parks. The absolute worst. (Maybe it’s better in the fall. I sure hope so. I’d like to, you know, have a good time and not be the buzzkill.)

Thoughts on Carnivals? >> I don’t have any thoughts on those.

Thoughts on Island Life? >> I don’t really know anything about island life.

Ever taken a ferry to a destination? >> Yeah, I’ve taken the Staten Island Ferry at least 100 times, I’m sure.

What is the best thing about travelling? >> Just... the experience, man. I don’t know. It’s great to go somewhere new, see new things, eat something new, be outside of my own environmental bubble for a while. It’s a good mental reset, even when it sucks (and, lbr, sometimes it really does, especially when you got Issues).

Who would you like to travel with next time you go on a trip? >> The only other person I travel with is Sparrow. I also enjoy travelling alone.

Randoms.

Favourite television series on Stan? >> On what now?

Favourite television series on Netflix? >> As far as Netflix Originals are concerned, my favourites are The Dragon Prince and Mindhunter. I could have sworn there’s another one but I can’t fucking remember what it is and now it’s bothering me, lol.

What movie are you keen to see? >> I’m keen to see a lot of movies, friend.

Do you study or work or both? >> Neither, actually.

If you could have any career, what would it be? >> No.

Do you play Animal Crossing on Nintendo Switch? >> Yeah, mostly because Sparrow plays it and gets me into it. I would never play it by myself, that kind of game is pretty demotivating to me (yeah, I’m an outlier in that sense).

What gaming console do you like best? >> PC.

Speaking of gaming, name your top 5 games? >> Right now... Final Fantasy XIV, Elder Scrolls Online, Grim Dawn, Guild Wars 2, uhh... hmm. Actually I’ve been so focused on the first two that I’ve not really been playing much else. MMOs take up a lot of time and energy.

Have you ever been to a convention like Comic Con? >> I went to NYCC once to interview Aurelio Voltaire (this was like 12 years ago) and I went to GRCC last November.

Life gets tough, how do you cope? >> CBD, time Inworld (and in my physical room), and a lot of music.

Do you like housework? >> I really the fuck do not. Well, I really the fuck do not like wet-room housework (anything to do with kitchens or bathrooms), because I have Issues(tm). But I don’t mind cleaning living rooms or bedrooms, and I love to organise. So, you know.

Are you afraid of the dark? >> Nope.

Do you have pets? >> No, but Sparrow has a cat.

[therealmnemo]

11 Questions

Ok, so I think I got everyone who tagged me in this. I’m sorry I’m going to add more questions because I’m drawing a blank, but I’ll answer the questions I was tagged in under the cut >.> 

From @sixlilypetals

1.     What is your favorite fan fic by another author and why? Oh no.. why. I have so many favorites!!! Ok. I’m going to pick one out specifically because it affected me so much that every time I hear the song that the title comes from, I will literally tear up in public. It’s You’ll Remember Me (When The West Wind Moves) by @foxnonny. It’s a FenHawke where Danarius was able to recapture Fenris, but starts with Garrett and co. rescuing him after his memories had been erased. After some time back at Kirkwall, Garrett is able to show Fenris his memory of their captivity (both he and Fenris had been captured, but Garrett had been freed once they reached shore), and Fenris realizes he needs time away to realize who he is again, because he is not this Fenris. And what KILLS me, is that Fenris’ last words to Garrett before giving himself back is “Be Well, Garrett Hawke.” And it’s said again later and everytime I think about it I want to cry. And then the last chapter when he starts writing to Garrett and picking up random memories.. I just.. GAH. It’s so beautiful. And this is why I cry like a baby at Fields of Gold. 

2.     What is your favorite fan fic you’ve done and why? Ugh. Well, I’m in that slump where I’ve been unable to write in a while so nothing looks good.. but I think I’m going to say You Could Be Happy. It’s the collection of my fic for Fenris Week last year, and contains two of my more well-received pieces. Surprises, which laid the foundation of the FenHanders I really wanted to delve into, and then Flight, a Pern AU one-shot that I put a lot of thought into and would like to pull out into a long fic one day. This question might change if I ever get my WIPs finished. 

3.     How did you discover Dragon Age? Steam Sale? I’m pretty sure Origins was really cheap during a Steam sale and a few of my friends had it on their game lists and I was like.. uh.. this seems like my kind of thing. Then I spent a couple hundred hours on it... 

4.     If you were going to do a get rich quick scam in Thedas, what modern thing would you peddle? condoms. idek 

5.     What is your dream hobby? i’d love to get going on voice work, and also beekeeping. 

6.     If you could create one law that could never be changed, what would it be? Oh god, something dealing with minimum wage and having to stay in line with cost of living and productivity levels and/or requiring the government to provide homes to the homeless. 

7.     When you’ve had a rough day, what makes you happy? IRL, cuddling with friends and watching a movie, if that is not possible (like 90% of the time) getting online to read fic and talk with friends <3

8.     What other universe do you think would be fun to cross over with Dragon Age? oh god.. too many? but the one I’m most interested in is doing a Pern crossover because.. uh.. dragons!!! (and of COURSE Hawke and Bull would be dragonriders)

9.     If you could own a pet dragon, would you and why? who in their right mind would answer no to that? YES.. because DRAGONS. 

10.  In what ways do you see yourself as a leader? As a follower? Uh.. hmm. I guess when it comes to things that I’m knowledgeable about or interested in, I’ll tend to take the lead in a group setting.. especially in cases where I can foster communication. Things that are task oriented that are easy to follow up on. I tend to fall back as a follower if it’s something that isn’t in my wheelhouse, or something I have no business being at the forefront of. 

11.  If you could go back in time and tell yourself one thing about the future, what would it be? fuck more people. i know how that might sound in general, but like, i wish young me would have had a different view on this. if i did, some things would have been very different. 

From @jawsandbones

Click this link and tell us what your super power is. Are you a hero or a villain? Your powers are super hearing, seeing through illusions, and manipulating shadows. um, a flipping hero. mostly for that last one.. because I would totally put on the most badass shadow puppet theatre.

What hobby would you get into if time and money weren’t an issue? BEEKEEPING. :D (I would say location too, but I’m sure that wouldn’t be an issue because money wouldn’t be)

What fictional place would you most like to go? Toss up between Thedas and Pern. 

Are you usually early or late? Uh, late. Usually depends on if I’ve taken my meds that day. It’s the focus part that usually screws me up on timing. 

What do you wish you knew more about? I’m going to cop out of this question because I’m literally a sponge for useless information. I will rabbit trail on wikipedia for hours. Things I will never need to know, or wanted to know to begin with, but now I have that tidbit stored away. I just want to know all that I can. Did you know that Mike Nesmith of the Monkeess’ mother was the inventor of Liquid Paper? 

How do you relax after a hard day? Check # 7 above!

Something you’ve been meaning to try but haven’t gotten around to yet?hmm, i don’t really have anything for this one. i have games i’ve not played yet and shows i haven’t watched yet. 

What one thing do you really want but can’t afford? a month long vaca to see my BFF in Scotland. 

What are you most likely to become famous for? not really anything, but along with my dream hobbies, well known VA or rockstar beekeeper would be amazing right?

What are you absolutely determined to do? Right now? Just be a fully functioning adult. 

What question do you want the answer to? Why haven’t we bred dragons yet? I mean, come on. 

From @littlexabyss

1.  What’s your favourite kind of dragon? I’m talkin’ any fandom here - Potterverse to HTTYD to…. well.  Dragon Age, I guess.  PERN DRAGONS \o/

2.  Across any/all of the games, what’s one decision you regret making plotwise?  Did you not recruit someone?  Break up with an LI?  Make a decision which broke your approval rating with someone?  C’mon, spill.  The first time I played DA2 I skipped Fenris’ cutscene and didn’t use him the whole game... I even thought he was a rogue... >.>

3.  Who’s the best-looking monster or creature in Thedas? (Mine’s the Envy demon at Therinfal Redoubt, wowee, that’s a stunner.)  Witherfang. 11/10

4.  What’s the most awkward ret-con of the Dragon Age series, in your opinion? Leliana if she was killed. Don’t get me wrong, I actually really love the reason that you get post DAI, because it just adds another level to lyrium and the Titans.. but like... awks. 

5.  List your current three favourite pieces of fan art and/or fics? WHY. ok, i did a fenhawke above, so i’m going to do three more ships eyyyy.  Walk Softly and Carry a Big Axe, Windfall, Inquisitor Hawke series

6.  Of the Dragon Age characters, who do you think would survive best should they be plonked into the Mass Effect universe? I’m going to flake on this because I really haven’t played ME yet. 

7.  Do you think Isabela’s ever had scurvy? Nah

8.  You know that bit in Inquisition, where Haven’s fallen and shit is getting a bit real and everyone starts singing that song half way up the mountain as your Inquisitor is freezing their buns off?  On a scale of 1: I totally joined in at home, it wasn’t awkward at all to 10: I had to leave the room and hide with my hands over my ears it was so awwwwkward, how’d you feel about it? Yeah, that was a 20. 

9.  Do you think you’ll be back for DA4?  Of course, DA owns my ass. 

10.  If you were a Circle mage, which (if any) fraternity would you belong to?  (As a brief recap: Aequitarians - “Shut up and play nice”; Isolationists - “Society is overrated”; Libertarians - “FUCK ALL THIS”; Loyalists - “Yes, Knight Commander, No, Knight Commander, how high, Knight Commander?”; Lucrosians: “MONEYMONEYMONEY”). Libertarian :D

11.  Think of your favourite character from the series (or just who springs to mind first): what is the song that they would rapturously describe as “their jam”? Shit. You know it’s Anders and Fenris and I have several playlists.. but as a single song? For Fenris, "Disarm” by the Smashing Pumpkins and for Anders, gawd, uhm, it changes constantly but give me some “Unsteady” by X Ambassadors for some young Anders feels.