#(pregnancy is mentioned in passing because i was healthier then by dint of my hormones)

[tinknevertalks]

Looks long; won't read: doctor sent my name to a free diet helping course with a nutritionist and I'm not sure if I'm angry that he has.

--

Huh. So a thing happened.

A few weeks ago Two Fridays back, I had a medical done for my job. Let's just say the doctor was Not Impressed by my weight, going so far as to talk to me about it after he signed me off as Fit to Work. Made me cry (although that could've been because of my super early period starting the next day) because I'm super tender about my weight and weight gain (and tbh, I thought I had lost a tiny bit during lockdown because I was eating regularly and my work shirt was looser on my arms). I think he was also a bit confused because I know what I should and shouldn't be doing food wise but still making unhealthy choices. (And he was surprised that I hadn't suffered from gestational diabetes or high blood pressure when preggo with Thea. When I told him my blood pressure was actually a bit low he asked if I had been put on tablets. Nope, just the progesterone flooding my body keeping it down.)

Anyways, fast forward to today. I have a cold. It isn't as bad as Mark and Thea's but my head is thumping and I'm not feeling grand. Come down the stairs and see there's post.

Post addressed to me from Llanelli. "Huh, must be my smear test due." (As an aside, if you can get your cervical smear test done, do it. The medical professionals trained to do them have seen hundreds of vaginas and will not be judging you.) Open the letter.

It's a letter "inviting" me to a 10 week dietetitian (my bad, can't spell atm) course, because a member of the Health Team in the local surgery put my name forward.

Here's the rub. I usually bitch and moan that I complain about my weight with doctors and nothing happens, they just leave me with a, "Well, try to lose weight, k?" before I leave the office. But... I can't remember if he asked if I wanted help. Pretty sure I didn't say, "Hey, put my name forward to people I don't know about something I am very defensive about."

I know that this could be really good for me - I could actually lose some weight - but there's a voice in my head saying, "But you tried before and didn't see much difference at all. Why try again and get disappointed again?" And it's the whole, "He put my name forward without my explicit permission."

Anyone got any words of wisdom? I would like to not be the size I am (there wasn't a scale big enough for my weight at the surgery). I'd actually love to be more than a few sizes smaller than I am.

(Fwiw, he also offered medical help, but I remember my friend getting some tablets to help her weight loss and she then got problems with her spleen. And since going back to work, my eating habits have changed dramatically - in a bad way. No more routine, eating when I can rather than setting a time, etc etc.)

So yeah, halp?