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skei-seems · 4 years

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Professor Reid

(PART 1)

Summary: Reader kicks off first semester of university with a team project that requires a trip to another city. Her professor, Spencer Reid, is to accompany the team, but the journey takes an interesting turn when he offers to show her a pub in the city one night.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x (female) reader

Category: Smut [NSFW]

Warnings: Smut, Age Gap, Swearing

A/N: Please send me some feedback on this or requests, I would love to hear your thoughts. Also, do you guys prefer first person x reader or second person pov? Part 2 linked below ;)

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You could always see something coming from a mile away, it was a peculiar skill of yours to be able to plan out every possible outcome of any situation (especially the worst ones) in order to satisfy your anxiety. University was a new ground, it was unfamiliar and untrodden, and that’s what made it dangerous - the unforeseeable future.

As soon as you started criminal psychology class, you knew it would be your favourite. Perhaps it was because of the interesting analogy strategies, or the way the minds of the psychos worked, but mainly it was because of the gorgeous golden-locked professor. His intelligent hands gestured each time he spoke and the way they often ran through his hair to fix it, his big brown eyes scanning the room which sometimes met your gaze, and the nerdy button up shirts he wore was enough to set your lust for him on fire. The development of crushes on people that would never be interested in you was a frequent occurrence, and the probability of something happening between you was far from reality - you knew that - and that was where the satisfaction lay in it. Knowing nothing can or will happen, the infatuation was innocent and improbable.

“Okay class, I have an announcement to make,” the voice that sent goosebumps over your skin each time it sounded, boomed through the large classroom. You focused from a distance on his sharp eyes, before he looked down at a piece of paper in his hands. “There will be a trip to another university to join a team which will conduct a research project together,” some ‘ooh’s’ and ‘aah’s’ sounded there, ”but unfortunately I cannot take all of you.” Disappointment flooded through the room now, but a little jolt of excitement went through your body. A trip, to another town, with the hot professor. He continued, “I have selected five students based on how well they did in the last examination, the names of whom I read now please meet with me after class.”

Your heart sped up in your chest, you were even afraid the thumping could be heard by your surrounding classmates as he read off the names, and stopped when yours was the last. Part of you wished you could be as calm as the others when class ended and they slowly made their way to his desk, but the other part of you wanted to lather up every bit of excitement that coursed through your body as you approached the tall smart-looking man.

As he briefed the group on what you need to prepare and the plans for the trip, you calmed down and made some notes, but a strand of hair had fallen into his face which distracted you. When he finished the briefing and made sure everyone was okay with spending their first week of holiday doing a school trip, everyone made to leave. You pocketed your phone, looked around when you heard him say “Bye guys, see you on the weekend!” and made eye contact, he smiled awkwardly and averted his gaze to the others walking out the door. Your heart immediately started racing in your chest and only calmed once you got home, and you could not get those beautiful brown eyes out of your head.

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It was the day of the trip. You would be driving together in a bus and stay at a hotel; you had free time in the mornings and evenings, project participation during the day and one free days to tour the city with your guide, professor Reid. Apparently if you did well, you would be allowed a night of celebration at the end in a very fancy club, which did not really seem like a reward to you, clubs were loud and full of sweaty drunk strangers.

The drive was long and seemingly endless with not much to do, and you were slightly amused to see that both you and the professor had brought a book to entertain yourselves with for the trip. When you arrived, the whole group set out to their rooms (each with a roommate) except for the professor, who made sure you knew where it was and that each had his number to call in case of emergency. He gave everyone the rest of the afternoon off to do your own activities, but you weren't allowed to go off alone, and had to be back at the hotel by 10.

You spent most of your free time reading or putting together work for the project, and by the third day the others had quickly formed a bond and gone off without you to have fun. It was about six thirty when you heard a knock on the door. Wondering who it was, you opened it to the gorgeous blonde professor.

“Hi Y/N, the others have all gone with the other university’s team to a restaurant and I’ve allowed them a later curfew, don’t you want to join them?” He asked, with a slight concern (probably because you were always alone). His brows were knit into a neat frown and you could imagine them being like that for a whole other reason, almost buckling your knees.

“Um,” you stumbled, thrown off by his sudden appearance and question, and thought for a moment. “To be honest I don’t really feel like being in that big group after spending the whole day with them.”

At this, he looked down and smiled, almost in a knowing way. “Well, if you want to get out, I’m going to meet some of my old university friends at a place that’s really nice,” then he sheepishly added, “and probably better than the restaurant your classmates chose.”

You bit your lip, he was asking you to come with him, without any other student present. “Your old university friends?”

“Yeah, this was where I studied before I moved and joined the FBI to become a profiler.”

Before you could answer, he added, “I just, couldn’t help but notice you haven’t gone out at all with the others. It wouldn’t sit right with me if you spend another night all by yourself.”

His words sent a rush of goosebumps over your skin. It made you look away with embarrassment that your introverted habits had not gone unnoticed. “Okay,” you said with forced sureness, and shyly looked at him again, “could I maybe just change real quick?”

He studied you a little and nodded. “Meet me at the foyer in fifteen minutes. You won’t regret it.” He seemed pleased with himself at convincing you to come out of your shell, and it sent electric sparks through your body that he made an effort for you, and only you.

Fifteen minutes later you walked up to the foyer. It turns out he had made the decision to change as well, going for a white buttoned up shirt, black fitting trousers and a pair of high top converse. You could not take your eyes off the man, and your stomach somersaulted at his rolled up sleeves that exposed his veiny forearms and watched wrist. As you came closer, he turned around and let his smouldering brown eyes travel down your body.

You flushed with warmth and redness as he took in your change of appearance, you wore black skinny jeans, a top that exposed your chest a little more than you would allow at school, and your go-to white sneakers.

“I was almost afraid you decided to stand me up,” he joked and shuffled his feet as the scent of your elegant rosey perfume engulfed him.

“Almost,” You chuckled, this informal stance was relaxing. You made your way down a couple of blocks while the professor talked a bit about the city, and finally entered a retro-looking pub. As you observed the place, you could feel his eyes on you. You realised for the first that he was your grounding now, since there was no one else in the room you knew, an intimate feeling arose at this thought and you moved a little closer to him.

“This is where I spent many a night drinking with my friends,” he said - with pride - while leading you to an empty table. You could hardly picture this smart and always-composed man being drunk, but it was a humoured picture nonetheless. He had to lean in for you to hear him over the music and talking of the people inside, and you could feel his hot minty breath sending tingles across your skin.

“I like it,” you replied. The bar was old wood, the walls were lined with all kinds of posters and signs that made up the aesthetic, accompanied by a small stage area with a landing dance floor.

“It’s my favourite, ahh-” he looked up at someone behind you and got up, “here they are.” Your heart skipped a beat, you were always nervous when meeting new people.

“SPENCE, my man!” exclaimed a tall curly haired fellow as they ‘bro-hugged’. A second, more buff and bearded man followed with “Long time no see!” He looked a little older but the two seemed to make sense as a friendship.

After they exchanged greetings, they realized your presence. Assuming they were out of earshot from a couple of feet away, the curly haired guy complimented professor Reid on his ‘date’ and made a gesture to suggest nice ‘boobs.’ You had to hide your smile when the professor went crimson and explained that you were his student, but you could feel your legs aching a little at the sight of him being flustered. He glanced at you nervously and ran a hand through his loose curls.

Finally, the men joined the table and introduced themselves, sharing stories of when they were your age. The professor seemed so different like this, so warm and relaxed, as compared to his usual formal state. You exchanged glances and a couple of smiles through the drinks and conversations, and you couldn’t push away the thought that maybe you were forming a connection. You focused on the way he sometimes licked his lips or put his fingers to his mouth, and imagined sucking on them, squeezing your thighs at the thought. Maybe you would be different after the trip, but you were snapped back to reality when the two of his friends decided to call it a night.

As the two were saying their goodbyes and making their way to the door. You checked your phone and shocked, exclaimed “It’s only ten o’clock!”

This earned a beautiful laugh from your professor. “I suppose that’s late when you’re my age. But we don’t have to leave. Wanna play a game of pool?”

Relief flooded unto you, you did not want this to be over, no one else had seen the professor like this and - despite your nervousness - you were having fun. The pub had grown fuller than when you first came in. Noticing a couple of lustful glances to your body, and to avoid being crumpled or lost between passing bodies, Spencer lightly put a hand on your lower back as he guided you in front of him over to the pool tables. The touch was barely, and so subtle, but it created a sense of dominince over you and made the area where his fingers connected with the fabric of your shirt tingle and spread to your lower belly.

He was pretty good at the game, hitting with careful preciseness and studying the table for a while before taking each of his turns. Focusing like him was a rather difficult task when you kept watching his veiny hands wrap around the pool stick and grip it tightly before he bent over to shoot. It was a little funny that he took it with such seriousness, but this forced you to do the same, and soon there was an atmosphere of strong competitiveness evident between you two. It came down the last couple of balls, when you decided to throw in a bet.

“If I win what do I get?” You confidently challenged, the alcohol had given your voice a certain assertiveness it lacked when you were sober, but this could also be a bad thing - the alcohol talking for you.

“If you win I buy the next round of drinks, if I win you pay for the round.” He said without thinking too hard about it, then returned his focus back to the game.

A couple moments later professor Reid won, and you reluctantly pulled out your wallet from your bag and made your way to the bar. The look on his face was triumph, but it had been a little exciting for the duration of the game that he considered you his equal, as competition. While you waited for the two glasses of Jack and Coke, a hand groped you from behind. You jumped out of the stranger’s grasp and tried to put as much distance between the two of you, but the line was cramped and it didn’t help much.

A sloppy looking man smirked at you, “How bout I get you a drink, darling.”

“How bout you leave her alone.” A firm voice said behind you, and you felt a warm hand sneak around your waist.

The guy looked annoyed but retreated from the bar. You turned around, a little thrown off from the interaction. “Thank you for saving me, professor.” You said, looking into his chocolate eyes staring off at the guy, now darkened with a little - anger? protectiveness? or was it dominance? Either way, it excited you.

“But I can handle myself”

He cocked his head and eyed you smugly. “Just stick closer to me from now.” He smiled with reassurance, not taking his hand off your waist, and the creep left your mind. All you wanted now was him.

You took your drinks and went back to the pool tables, all of them were occupied. Two friendly biker-looking guys offered to play in teams with you, though. You took on the challenge and played, but you were focusing on a different game. The alcohol had flushed out any thoughts or worry about the age difference or the fact that he was your professor, you were’t sure how, but you were going to get him one way or another. The game progressed slowly, and you got the opportunity to bend down in front of the professor. Behind you, you heard the biker next to him say “dude, if you don’t hit that, I will,” and felt a subtle, but not too soft landing on your ass. A yelp escaped your mouth, more out of surprise than anything, but you shot the ball in and turned around. Spencer looked embarrassed, and pulled you away a little and apologised.

“I’m so sorry about that.”

“It’s fine, sir,” you insisted, then adding, “I kinda liked it.”

His mouth formed into an ‘O’ shaped, and with his eyebrows raised he let out a chuckle, but you could see something change in his eyes as he glanced at your lips.

You were pulled out of your daze when you heard it - the song. The song you had to dance to no matter what, so you grabbed your drink and downed the last of it. “Come on, professor,” you pulled him by his hand.

“What’s happening?” he asked, looking a little amused.

“We have to dance to this song, it’s illegal not to.”

He laughed and followed you. The world was spinning a little and the alcohol had made your body warm, you would have to get out for fresh air sooner than later or you’d start sweating. Not knowing what was going through your or the professors mind, whatever it was, you hoped it was the same thing.

Once on the dance floor, the two of you easily fit in the crowd’s rhythm. He knew the lyrics just as well as you, and you jumped and moved around each other mouthing the words. A layer of sweat had started to make his shirt cling to him, and his hair was a little dampened, god he looked good. As the chorus ended, he stopped momentarily to unbutton his shirt a little for some air. His exposed chest was a huge turn on and you moved a little closer to him, but someone pushed through the crowd and squashed you right into each other.

This was the closest you had ever been, your bodies were completely pressed against each other and his cologne was overwhelming your senses. With your hand on his chest you looked up at him, resuming to the rhythm of the song, but the two of you remained close. He made no move to push you away, he just seemed deeply in though. With a last muster of confidence, you turned around and pushed your lower half onto his and felt him harden against you. Glad for the blaring music at that moment, you moaned loudly. For a moment he did nothing, then his hands shyly placed themselves on your hips.

Maybe it was wrong, maybe you should move away and pretend it hadn’t happened, but he pulled you closer by the waist and kept you rooted to the spot. So there was a dominant part in him, this pushed away the doubts you had momentarily and you continued to rub against his hard groin. The song changed to a slower, more sexy one. He hung his head so it was next to yours, and you could feel his sticky curls tangle with your hair. His hands were on your waist, guiding you and every now and then moving higher to just below your breasts. You slid down against him slowly, then slowly pushed your butt up back against his hardness. Just the thought of what the two of you looked like at that moment could send you over the edge.

Unable to resist seeing what he looked like, you turned around and flung your arms around his neck, his hair was wet and messy, some parts sticking to his forehead, and his chest was rising and falling at a fast pace. What made you stop was how he was staring you right in the eye through his locks, like there was no one else in the room, you pondered whether or not to kiss him but it was hot, it was so hot in the room.

You pulled free from what seemed like your wildest fantasy come true and made way to the exist and out into the open air. Professor Reid had followed you outside into the dark lamp-lit street. He mirrored your out-of-breath and at-a-loss-for-words state. “Let’s get back to the hotel, shall we?” he offered after a while, not looking at you and already walking in the direction of the hotel.

You weren't sure if he meant that in the sense of sleeping together or just going back to your separate rooms, but the reality of it had sobered you up a little and you were feeling a little nervous now. He seemed.. angry? or what he frustrated? Things seemed so obvious back on the dance floor but now they seemed cloudy and unclear.

When you finally made your way back to the hotel the nervousness had almost eaten you up, and you were shaking. You and Spencer hadn’t said a word the entire way back, and the silence hadn’t helped your anxiety. He stopped suddenly and you walked into him, not realising you had already arrived in from of your hotel room.

“Do you have your key card?” he finally spoke up, his voice was coarse and full of restraint.

You nodded, turned and swiped the card to open the door. Stepping half inside you peeked around, your roommate wasn’t home yet. When you turned back to face Spencer, he was staring at you with such intensity it seemed to sear holes in you. Boldly, you took a step toward him. He immediately grabbed you by the waist and kissed you forcefully. Inside, he slammed you against the door to close it and swiped his tongue over your lips, then inside your mouth to explore. His hands were all over your body and yours tangled in his long, messy curls. When you felt his soft lips connect with the sensitive area of your neck, you moaned.

“Professor,” you squeaked. Your voice was full of need and earned a rough groan from him.

He picked you up and set you on the counter in the small kitchen. “You’re so fucking gorgeous,” he said, looking into your eyes, grabbing the back of your neck and reattaching your lips. His words were sending a rush to your core; you needed more friction. You wrapped your legs around his waist and pulled him closer, his hardness now rubbing right against your beating core. He groaned and slowly grinded against you, making you want more. His tall lean figure against yours was too much to handle, it was overpowering and you couldn’t stop the soft whimpers escaping your mouth.

As his large hand massaged your breast and he continued to rock his hips against yours gradually at a faster pace, your eyes fluttered shut in pleasure.

He was in the middle of pulling off your shirt when a loud knock on the door made you freeze. He pulled away, eyes wide and lips swollen. “Fuck,” he muttered under his breath.

“Who is it?” You called, your voice (and legs) shaking.

It turned out to be your roommate. The two of you swiftly fixed yourselves up and you opened the door. With the explained that you and the professor were just working on something more for tomorrow’s project session, he bid you goodnight and left hurriedly.

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The next day you awoke not sure of how to go about things, or if you should just pretend that nothing had happened at all. But all that was not possible at all, you realised, when you saw him that morning. All the events of the previous night rushed at once into your mind and you bit your lip, it wasn’t over. He cleared his throat and shoved a hand into his pocket while addressing the group, his eye contact with you being only brief, yet strong.

During lunch break you wanted to speak with him, and found him in the cafeteria’s far end. Before coming around the corner, you stopped. He was on the phone.

“I know I know, Sweetness, I love you.”

Tears brimmed your eyes, he had a girlfriend. How could you be a wedge between his relationship, you had messed up real bad, but then again, he was the one who kissed you...

You avoided him for the rest of the day, and the next even though he asked to see you twice. Finally you received a text “Can we talk, please?” Yet you still ignored him, and even forced yourself to spend your free time with the group. It wasn’t too difficult avoiding him, but on the last day it was announced that since the group did so well, they would be celebrating at the great club in town - accompanied by the teachers of course.

You groaned. Slowly, anger had started to rise up to you. He was the one who had known he had a girlfriend, not you. He could have stopped it at any moment, but he didn’t. It was infuriating. Revenge may be the best plot. So you put on the sexiest clothes you could find, and met up with the group.

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To be continued... PART TWO AVAILABLE HERE: https://skei-seems.tumblr.com/post/642815872752353280/professor-reid-part-2

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male-reader-requests · 4 years

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Dog Days Pt.1

Pairings: Mirio Togata x Male!Reader

Word Count: 2,344

Warnings: This is technically part two to Puppy Love but it can be read as a stand-alone. This is also going to be split into 2 parts just because this one is already stupidly long, and I promise the next installment of this will be better and have more to do with the request!

When people first meet Mirio they tend to akin him to the sun. He's very bright and nice and lives to make people happy, and that's who he is. He doesn't hide behind a mask of lies to please others, that's just who he is.

When people meet (M/N) on the other hand they always think he's lying. No matter how nice and polite he is to everyone around him they always think he's some sort of delinquent, that he's a horrible person. "There's no way someone that tall could be good, no way someone with a quirk like that is a decent person."

Sometimes (M/N) wishes they were right.

(E/C) eyes shown with disdain as they looked on at the wreckage before them, blinking lazily as red shown in the dark. Mirio had somehow convinced him, despite (M/N) really not wanting to, to come see class 1-A and help out with training. It had seemed like a good idea, sort of, but now (M/N) just wanted to go to sleep.

This had all started because of that broccoli haired boy, what was his name? Midio? Medusa? Mizuza? Whatever his name was he'd found (M/N) and Mirio sometime this morning.

The two of them had been outside, Mirio messing with the flowers and grass while (M/N) worked on a paper for his History class. It was an odd, but cute sight if you ever saw it in person. Mirio had his head pillowed on one of (M/N)'s thighs, the taller male making use of his many pairs of hands. Two hands were typing away at the laptop in his lap, two of them were propping him up against the ground, and the other two were playing with golden hair.

Truthfully Mirio would have loved to have (M/N)'s undivided attention, but him passing his classes was also important so he chose to stamp down on that feeling. It was a nice and sunny day, warm and on the weekend. The two of them didn't have any plans but they did want to spend the time together, and Mirio had used that as a weapon.

Soon after (M/N) had finished his essay the green boy had shown up, talking to Mirio about some kind of training that (M/N) was too tired to remember but somehow the two of them had gotten dragged to a cityscape training field.

Aizawa was there, looking as tired as (M/N) felt, along with 19 students. Scratch that, there was 20, one of them was just ridiculously short.

All of them were dressed out of uniform, most likely in their hero costumes, and were staring at Mirio and (M/N) as if they were forgien objects.

(M/N) sighed, (E/C) eyes closed as his hands stuffed themselves in the multitude of pockets in his clothing. He hated dealing with children, 99% of them were afraid of spiders, but he hated dealing with teenagers more due to them not having come to terms with their fear of spiders. He wasn't a mean guy, but when someone is being rude to you over something you can't control it can make you pretty pissy.

And now here (M/N) was, looking at the wreckage brought on by an anger issue having pomeranian. He was hiding, well not really hiding but going stealthily behind the profanity-wielding child, in the shadows in a hope that they'd just call the match off.

(M/N) wasn't really much of a fighter. He could fight well, hell he could kill a man if he so pleased, but that wasn't really his thing. Due to the arachnid-ness of his being, he was much stronger than other people. Like actual spiders, he was somewhere between 100 and 150 times stronger in proportion to his weight, so (M/N) decided to use that strength to do wreckage clearing and rescue missions.

But now this blond Bitch was getting on every single nerve in his body and making him think of changing over to a confrontation hero.

"Come out you eight-legged freak!" the blonde yelled, hands sparking as he shouted to the sky.

(M/N) sighed as he sat on the ground, head propped up by one set of elbows as the others slowly gathered silk from his back. The kid was good, he could admit that, but he needed lots of polish. A literal shit load of polish, and then he would be a great hero.

With another sigh (M/N) looked up at the sky in wonder, wondering why he had to have been the one here, before whistling sharply. It got the kid's attention quickly, spinning around ready to attack, only for his hands to get attached to his body by a mass of silk slowly turning him into a cocoon.

He thrashed about, screeching as he slowly tilted back before falling with a less than dignified yelp. Groaning as he forced himself up off the ground (M/N) moved over to the kid, watching as he yelled out some pretty creative insults. (M/N) then promptly sat on his chest, ripping the ribbon off of the kids neck before holding it up in the air.

A buzzer went off before some red-haired kid made his way into the wreckage. Not wanting to see the kid mauled (M/N) got up, leaving the kid to pick his friend up. On the way out he met Mirio, giving the blond the ribbon that was meant for the two of them.

"You were great out there!" the blond was practically vibrating. He'd always enjoyed watching (M/N) use his quirk, watching him fight. "Yeah?" (M/N)'s voice was low and tired, but there was a slight smile on his face as he gently ruffled the blonde's hair.

He left after that, Mirio entering the training area to watch as Bakugo was drug off by Kirishima.

Izuku didn't really know what he'd been expecting, but this wasn't exactly it.

Earlier that day he'd found Mirio and uh... his boyfriend? together. They'd been talking softly about something but had stopped when Izuku had approached them. He then word dumped on them about how his class was doing some kind of special training and that it would be much appreciated if they could come and help.

Mirio had jumped right on, but the other boy had been a bit hesitant. Izuku could tell why now.

Mirio and (M/N) had thrown everyone's names into a bag and were drawn at random, fighting whoever until they either got through the whole class or were too tired to continue. The fights had all been stupid easy so far, Mirio taking everyone out quickly, or making them surrender.

(M/N)'s fights had been a bit messier. It was obvious he was uncomfortable fighting, his strength going on display when he'd hit through a wall on a missed punch. Everyone was wary of him, they knew nothing about how he fought and what kind of strengths he had other than the eyes and the arms.

The first person against (M/N) had ended up being Jiro. It had been a quick match, (M/N) capturing the girl in silk, but now after she seemed slightly dazed as she sat on the floor in the back of the room.

As Izuku looked around the room he realized that everyone that (M/N) had fought was actually more or less dazed, looking extremely sleepy. Confused, and a bit concerned Izuku made his way over to Jiro who had been hit first, but was cut off as Aizawa declared (M/N) the winner of his fight between him and Bakugo.

Mirio went to go greet the other male before going to his fight, (M/N) coming in looking tired.

There were soot marks all over his skin thanks to dodging Bakugo's attacks, and Izuku watched as he rubbed at his eyes, smearing it like cheap eyeliner. He watched as (M/N) yawned and made his way over to a corner before sitting, letting his head fall back and close his (E/C) eyes. The red ones stayed open.

It was a bit unnerving to look at that, to watch as pure red eyes moved around in their sockets to look around. It was hard to figure out where they were looking exactly since they were one color without a pupil, but Izuku got the general idea that he was looking around at everything.

Midoriya had heard things about (M/N) from other students and in passing, most of it coming from Mirio gushing about him at any given point, but he knew he was strong.

A lot of people, mostly the second years, seemed weirded out that (M/N) had already decided to become a rescue hero. It wasn't very common that people decided what kind of hero they would become in their 3rd year, most waited until they had a bit of experience to see what they were best at, and even then most people wanted to become confrontational heroes, to be the person who took down the bad guy and saved everyone. (M/N) seemed content to stick to the shadows.

Maybe it had to do with his arachnid quirk, not wanting to be seen or to be put in any danger? Maybe it was just a personal preference though?

Midoriya hadn't realized it, as per usual, but he was mumbling to himself. Lost in his own little world he didn't notice that 6 red eyes had shifted to look at him, (S/T) ears tuned into the mess of words pouring from his mouth.

For (M/N) he was used to people talking about him behind his back, he was odd even in a world of superheroes. He had 6 arms and 8 eyes, he was far from normal so people talked about him. Most of it wasn't very good, people talking about how creepy he was and how he wouldn't be a good hero because he wasn't good with people, but the drivel coming from the bush-boy was statistics and questions about his quirk.

All of it curiosity without any of the disgust and distrust.

Curious, (M/N) focused all 6 red eyes on the boy, his figure slowly coming into focus.

Like an actual spider (M/N)'s eyes were put into groups for seeing different things. 3 of them were for noticing motion in a blurry wide-angle vision, 3 of them were specifically for judging the distance between things, and the 2 that weren't red were the only ones that actually focused on things and saw in color. These ones were for locking onto things when he needed to.

Right now the green-haired boy was a blurry figure that actually just looked like a tall bush. He was roughly 8 feet away, mumbling to himself.

Confused, and slightly concerned as to why the boy had taken such an interest in him, (M/N) let his head drop onto his shoulder, cracking his eyes open to squint at the male. He didn't seem to be noticing his surroundings, but the other students were ignoring his words so this must have been a normal thing.

Sighing, (M/N) sat up so that he was leaning forward, scooting himself around so he was actually facing the kid.

He was a little under average height, messy hair and wide eyes, freckles. He looked like the sort of kid you'd want as a younger brother, cute in a sort of boyish way, but now he looked like a deer in headlight.

Midoriya, who had been lost in his own world, hadn't noticed that (M/N) had moved, but now the tall male was a bit closer. He was sitting cross-legged, arms propping him up on the floor and on his elbows, but all 8 of those eyes seemed to be trained on him as his head tilted slightly to the side.

It... was horrifying in all honesty. (M/N) was tall, he was a big guy in general, but as he peered at Midoriya it was terrifying. Like being under the eyes of a predator.

"What's your deal?" (M/N) said softly, the words slurring slightly with exhaustion.

Midoriya knew he was being spoken to, knew that (M/N) was talking to him, but at the moment he was a mere statue in a garden. He was stuck.

The area where (M/N)'s eyebrows should have been furrowed, confusion crossing his features. The kid had been mumbling to himself just fine a moment ago but now he was completely still, eyes impossibly large.

Concerned, (M/N) drug himself to his knees, leaning forward to lightly tug at the kid's uniform. It was like setting off a firework, fine for a second or two before he exploded.

He immediately tried to jump back, only to stumble and fall like the clutz he was.

(M/N) blinked owlishly at the kid, who was also blinking in confusion.

The kid wasn't... actually scared of him, right? He was a teenager, he could get over his fear and realize that (M/N) wasn't going to hurt him... right?!

The kid looked scared though, and it felt like a punch to the gut.

Sighing lightly (M/N) waved a hand at the green-haired male, moving to stand up.

"Sorry for startling you," he mumbled, pulling his hood over his head before stuffing his hands in various pockets.

Times like now (M/N) wished he had been born without so many limbs, even if it was just so that he could have sleeves to hide himself with.

#anime #xmalereader #x male reader #Mirio Togata #mirio togata x male reader #mirio x male reader #bnha #mha #bnha imagines

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silvermoongirl10swfics · 3 years

Text

Learning to deal with emotionally crippling pain

For @codywanweek 2021 Day 2: AU (Modern University AU.)

You can also read this fic here on A03.

(The title of the fic will make sense after reading the fic.)

This is set at Manchester Metropolitan University in the UK, where I went to uni. As I wanted to combine the uni I loved going to with one of my favourite ships.

No major warnings, but there is a slight, non-graphic, description of how bodies were buried during the Black Death (this may seem very random, but I don’t want to gross anyone out.)

(I was inspired by @catawampuscorner drawing adorable baby clones in animal onesies, the cuteness now lives rent free in my brain and my brain desperately wanted to add baby clones and baby Jedi in animal onesies to this fic due to their wonderful drawings of the baby clones. So, I have referenced codywan and some other clones being youngsters in animal onesies near the end of this fic.)

Also Wolffe and Fox are twins because I thought of the idea about a month ago and loved it so much.

Cody hefted his kit bag onto his shoulder and nodded in thanks to the bus driver as he stepped off the bus on Oxford Road. He turned hearing a loud thump and rolled his eyes, Fives had, against Cody’s and Rex’s advice, decided to sit on the top deck of the double-decker bus while carrying his heavy rugby kit bag. Unsurprisingly Fives stumbled and hit the wall of the stairs as he tried to walk down the steep steps, his bag over balancing him. Rex threw out an arm to steady their younger brother and then the two of them joined Cody on the pavement.

“We did warn you,” stated Rex with a roll of his eyes.

“Whatever,” griped Fives. Without another word, Fives was walking through All Saints Park, no doubt heading back to the student halls where he shared a flat with his twin Echo and six other first year students.

“I really hope Echo is better soon. I don’t know how much longer I can take Fives in this mood,” sighed Rex shaking his head.

“You and me both,” agreed Cody with a nod of his head at his younger brother.

Cody was the eldest of the four brothers, and was currently in his third and final year of studying his undergraduate history degree at Manchester Metropolitan University. Rex was eleven months younger than him and was in his second year studying law, Echo and Fives were their younger brothers who were twins. The family hadn’t thought that Fives was interested in going to university, which was fine with them as they didn’t want to push him into something he didn’t want. But when Echo announced his intention of going to study mathematics at the same university where Cody and Rex were studying, Fives suddenly announced that he was also going to Man Met to study physiotherapy. The twins were in their first year and two years ago, at eighteen, Cody had thought he would be getting some peace from his three younger brothers, in the end he only got one year of peace before his brothers joined him in quick succession. But thankfully he only had to put up with living with them when they were all home for the holidays. As Cody shared a one-bedroom flat with his long-term boyfriend Obi-Wan who had also chosen to study at Man Met, also in his third year, studying English literature. Obi-Wan and Cody had been best friends since their first day at primary school aged four, later confessing their romantic feelings for each other when they were sixteen, both coming down from the stress of getting their GCSE results. They hadn’t actually told each other where they were applying for university, not wanting to influence each other’s decision. But they still ended up at the same university anyway, not that Cody was complaining.

Like Cody, Obi-Wan had not been able to escape his younger brother. Anakin was friends with Fives and Echo as they were the same age, Anakin was in his first year studying engineering at Man Met. It was funny to Cody, because Echo and Anakin’s subjects were in the same faculty, they often saw each other as their lectures and seminars took place in the John Dalton buildings, whereas Fives went to lectures across the main road on the slightly smaller campus in the Brooks Building. Fives had always been protective of Echo, his reasoning being he was the older twin so had to look out for Echo. But after Echo got hurt in a car accident when they were fifteen driving home with their dad, Fives had grown even more protective, somehow blaming himself because he wasn’t there in the car with Echo. The youngest of the four brothers hadn’t been seriously hurt, but the accident had gained him a constant shadow. So, when the twins applied to the university, they looked at the map of the two campuses and picked Oxford Court for their student halls accommodation because it was pretty much in the middle of where the two of them would have their lectures and seminars.

With another look in the direction Fives had gone, feeling a rare moment of relief at seeing his brother walk away. Cody loved his brothers, but because Echo had gotten injured in their last rugby game, he couldn’t take part in practice and it had left Fives in a mood for the past week. Neither Echo, Cody or Rex could seem to talk Fives out of his mood, leading to Cody thinking he may have to call their parents to talk some sense into Fives. But he didn’t want to worry his mum, which is what would happen if Cody had to tell her Fives still wasn’t okay a week after Echo badly spraining his ankle. So, Cody’s only other option would be to call his twin cousins, Wolffe and Fox who were both in their third and final years of studying at the same university in London. Wolffe was studying sport science, while Fox was studying history like Cody, but with more of a focus on medical history while Cody preferred military history.

Wolffe and Fox were the closest cousins Cody and his brothers had, due to their parents all moving to Britain from New Zealand due to his father and uncle getting jobs with the same tech company before Cody, Wolffe and Fox were born. Leaving the rest of the aunts, uncles and cousins back in New Zealand with their grandparents. Cody then reflected, calling the other twins might not be a bad idea. Wolffe would be gruff but caring in talking to Fives and if that failed, Fox would just beat sense into him either verbally or physically. With there being direct trains from London to Manchester, Cody wouldn’t be surprised if Fox came in person to beat some sense into Fives. Fox had no patience for Fives’ protective older brother routine of Echo and that was down to Wolffe being protective of Fox. Which he hated, but to be fair to Wolffe, he was fully justified going by the amount of coffee and lack of sleep Fox was powering through to work on his assignments and dissertation. Despite the fact it was still January and Fox had three months left until he had to hand in his dissertation.

Thinking of dissertations, Cody waved goodbye to Rex and headed towards the cafeteria in the Business School building to get some tea for his boyfriend. Once he acquired the tea in a take away cup, he went next door to the library where Obi-Wan was working on his dissertation, thankful that their university library allowed food and drink as long as it was silent. Fox was insanely jealous as his university library forbade any food or drink to enter the building, meaning Fox was deprived of his precious coffee. Which was why Wolffe pushed Fox to work in the library as often as he could. Cody didn’t mind plying Obi-Wan with tea, because while he could say Obi-Wan was additive to his tea, he didn’t drink any caffeinated tea two hours before going to bed, unlike Fox who was known to drink a mug of coffee before going to bed if Wolffe hadn’t managed to stop him. It was a wonder Wolffe hadn’t gone grey with the amount of time he spent worrying over his twin brother.

Cody scanned his student card to let him past the barriers and started walking up the two flights of stairs to the floor Obi-Wan liked to work on. The library was massive, with its different wings and five floors, but Cody was glad it was so big because it could be divided into silent study areas and group study areas, where you could talk so long as you were quiet. Obi-Wan, like Cody, hated working in complete silence and in their first year they found a nook between some shelves that had a table where they could bring their own laptops to work on their essays together. But were conveniently close to university computers so they could log on to print their work if needed. It was also a space their brothers had been unable to find them in, although Cody was fairly certain Rex knew where he liked to work, but was kind enough to leave him alone. Anakin, Echo and Fives would not be as considerate.

He walked through the doors into the study area and walked halfway into the big room with its rows of computers and shelves of books, until he found Obi-Wan hunched over his notes and two books he was using for his dissertation. Cody silently reminded himself that he was due to meet with his dissertation supervisor tomorrow to check the progress on his second chapter. He placed the cup of tea on the table beside Obi-Wan’s laptop and pressed a kiss onto the mess of copper hair, noting that his boyfriend hadn’t shaved again, making him wonder if Obi-Wan was committing to growing a beard. If he did, it would be because Obi-Wan was fed up of people thinking he was sixteen or seventeen, rather than being almost twenty-one years old, something that delighted Anakin to no end. Obi-Wan slowly sat up and blinked owlishly at him and rubbed a hand over his face. “Rugby practice is over already?” he asked in confusion as he looked at his watch.

Cody snorted in amusement, “thankfully yes.” Obi-Wan had come to the library just after Cody left their flat for practice, that had been two and half hours ago.

Obi-Wan reached for his tea and sighed in pleasure when he sipped on the hot liquid. “Fives still in a mood then?”

“Yes,” he sighed in exasperation as he sat down beside Obi-Wan and putting his kit bag on the floor with a roll of his shoulder.

Raising a knowing eyebrow over the rim of his cup, Obi-Wan asked. “Are you going to call Wolffe and Fox?” Cody nodded in agreement, smiling to himself, happy at how easily Obi-Wan fit into his family. Obi-Wan, Cody, Wolffe and Fox had all gone through school together. Obi-Wan and Anakin’s dad, Qui-Gon, was a friend of Cody’s parents and often came over for dinner. According to his dad, Cody’s mum and Qui-Gon had been having wine nights when they lamented over their empty nests and how it was unfair how quickly their children were growing up. While Cody’s aunt just laughed at them because Wolffe and Fox had left home for university almost three years before.

They lapsed into silence, and Cody just let himself day dream as he listened to the clack of Obi-Wan’s keyboard. He also ran through a mental list of things he needed to do for his dissertation and thought he could do with another trip down to London to go to the National Archives again for some more primary sources. His phone buzzed and Cody snorted at the text message from Echo.

[Echo] Fives is in SUCH a bad mood! Please help me!

[Cody] Sorry Echo. Rex and I had him for two hours, we need a break.

[Echo] WORST BIG BROTHERS EVER!!!!

[Echo] I hope you marry Obi-Wan so I can adopt him as my favourite older brother.

[Echo] You know what. I’m not waiting until you marry him. He’s my favourite brother now.

Cody chuckled to himself, he couldn’t argue with Echo, Obi-Wan was his favourite person too.

[Cody] What WILL Fives say?

[Echo] Right now I don’t care. He’s driving me INSANE!!!!

[Cody] I was going to call Wolffe and Fox to see if they could help.

[Echo] PLEASE!!! I am BEGGING YOU!!!!

[Echo] You know what?

[Echo] Just skip straight to Fox.

[Echo] And record it. I want to relive that future moment for forever. Fox’s position as my favourite cousin will be secured.

Cody snorted in amusement again, Obi-Wan turned to him in question. So, Cody just showed him the messages and Obi-Wan shook his head in amusement, but he blushed slightly. No doubt due to Echo’s comments on Cody marrying Obi-Wan.

“Echo wishing harm on Fives. I never thought I’d see the day,” commented Obi-Wan, his blue eyes sparkling with laughter. No doubt remembering the times Fox lost his patience with bullies and idiots they went to school with and just went for them. Their aunt had to give Fox the disapproving lecture, but she also slipped Fox money for standing up to bullies for other kids. So, Fox’s handling of bullies and idiots had never been stopped, only been encouraged.

“Oh, Echo can be pushed to it,” chuckled Cody, recalling the few times Fives had made Echo lose his temper. Echo was a nice and quiet person, which also made him one of those people you did not want to make angry, because when his patience snapped. It snapped. He could be worse than Fox, and that said something.

“By the way, your dad text me. He’s invited me to a family reunion dinner in a month’s time. So, is anyone coming over from New Zealand?” Obi-Wan asked as he started to tidy his books away and turn off his laptop.

Cody nodded. “My grandparents are coming over in three weeks and are staying until the summer as they want to be here for mine, Wolffe and Fox’s graduations. Then a few of the cousins are coming over in the summer.” He smiled to himself; it would be nice to see his family members again. They all saw each other every year, one year Cody and his family would fly out to New Zealand and the next year the family would fly over to Britain for a few weeks. With all of the cousins now at university, it made sorting out reunions easier due to the longer holidays they all had.

Obi-Wan’s eyes sparkled with amusement again, “anymore family arguments to look forward to?” he laughed.

“Probably,” Cody sighed as he rolled his eyes. Obi-Wan had come out to New Zealand with him last summer and witnessed some truly spectacular family arguments and rather silly ones as well. The most prominent being about Fox and Echo’s names.

When Fox had been a toddler, he and Wolffe had been put into animal onesies (Cody and his brothers also shared that misfortune with their cousins, but the less said about that the better), Wolffe into a wolf onesie and Fox into a fox onesie. Ever since Fox wanted to be called Fox, as he hated his proper name, the name being Frederick. If anyone ever called him Frederick when he was a small child he bit them, leading to his parents to tell their school when they started that it would be best if they didn’t call Fox Frederick for the safety of their own fingers.

Then when Echo had been four and in school, learning about words that began with the letter E, he heard the word Echo and wanted to call himself that, because he didn’t like being called Eli. Cody’s mum had tried to tell Echo his name was Eli, but Echo said Fox picked his name, so why couldn’t he? Cody’s mum tried her hardest to get Echo to forget about calling himself Echo, seeing as he was named after his mum’s father-in-law Elias and didn’t want to offend him. But Echo just started repeating everything everyone said, until the point their dad begged their mum to just let Echo call himself Echo. Fives didn’t want to be left out, and chose the nickname Fives, but he wasn’t involved in the arguments because he let their grandmother still call him Felix. Echo and Fox on the other hand, both refused to answer to their given names. And Obi-Wan had witnessed their grandmother once again getting annoyed when Echo and Fox didn’t answer her when she called them Eli and Frederick. That was also the visit where Obi-Wan learnt just who Echo and Fox inherited their stubbornness from. Grandpa Elias was not offended and found the whole thing hilarious and continued to congratulate Echo on his name every time he saw Echo. Cody was also convinced, his grandmother only continued the argument for the sake of it, he had seen her handwriting in birthday cards calling Echo and Fox by their chosen names. But she still wrote Eli and Frederick on family Christmas cards, again probably just for the drama.

But some uncles and aunts were not happy with Echo and Fox changing their names, albeit not legally, because other cousins began following their lead. Namely their four cousins who were all siblings (two sets of twins), Hunter, Crosshair, Wrecker and Tech. The four of them changing their names and even happily calling themselves the Bad Batch at family gatherings much to the ire of their mother. Fives was blamed for their collective nickname, as Obi-Wan found out and thought it was hilarious. The Bad Batch had invited Echo to play with them when they were small, and Fives who had not been invited to play had been jealous and called them the Bad Batch, the four of them had loved it and adopted it as their group name.

Obi-Wan started to laugh quietly to himself as he put his laptop away in his bag. At Cody’s questioning look he smiled and said. “I’m just wondering who will be the first to say something to disrupt family dinner. Either you, your brothers or your cousins will say something. You have done ever since the first family dinner I was invited to when I was five.”

Cody smirked to himself and nodded, “honestly I’m expecting it to be Fox again. You know he deals with stress in the weirdest ways.”

“You mean like putting everyone else off their food?” teased Obi-Wan, his eyes glinting at the memory of the last dinner everyone had together.

Over the four-week long Christmas holiday, Cody’s parents had hosted numerous family dinners, wanting to spend as much time together as possible. As it was understood with Cody, Obi-Wan, Wolffe and Fox graduating university later that year, they may not get to come home as often anymore. Also, as Cody’s uncle and aunt lived next door to them and Obi-Wan lived five houses further down the road, it was very easy for Cody’s uncle and aunt, Wolffe, Fox, Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon and Anakin to join their family for dinner. Which also meant, Cody and Obi-Wan had to suffer the embarrassment of watching Qui-Gon and Cody’s mum tearfully looking at photos of them growing up, mourning the loss of their ‘little ones’. While Cody’s aunt sipped on her glass of red wine and cackled at them, saying it was better to have both her kids leave the nest at once, as she didn’t have to go through kids moving out more than once.

Cody had also been horrified to learn there existed a photo of him in an animal onesie after all, and to make it worse, he was four in the photo. He was at school, but because his mum wanted a picture of all her boys in their animal onesies, he had been put into his old lion onesie (mane included on the hood) that was getting too small for him. But it had interested him to see it was a group photo of all of them sat on the living room floor. Obi-Wan was also in the photo, in a onesie that resembled the fictional varactyl creature he had been obsessed with when he was four. His unimpressed look matching Cody’s, in the photo both of them had their arms crossed as they glared at their parents off camera. Wolffe and Fox were also in the photo, but too busy pulling on each other’s hoods, Wolffe almost taking off one of Fox’s onesie’s ears. Rex, at three, was happily beaming at their mum in his elephant onesie that included a small trunk attached to the hood. Leaning against Rex on his left was Anakin, who at two, was too busy trying to eat his own foot as he sat in his dog onesie. On Rex’s right was the little twins, Echo beaming at the camera in his giraffe onesie as he lifted a hand up to squeeze the felt face of the giraffe attached to the hood and Fives, in a moose onesie (seriously where had his parents found these?), was busy trying to grab one of his felt antlers and eat it. Apparently, their parents had kept all of the onesies, what they planned to do with them Cody couldn’t guess.

But while the onesie group photo had been embarrassing, it hadn’t put anyone off their food. No, that came when Cody’s dad asked all of them how university was going. Everyone listened as one by one, all the boys explained what they had been doing. The adults patiently listened as Cody, Obi-Wan, Wolffe and Fox talked about their dissertations and skilfully manoeuvring the conversation so as to avoid third year meltdowns as the families had taken to calling their tearful, stressed rants. While Rex, Anakin, Fives and Echo stared at them in dawning horror as they realised what was in their immediate future. Fox had given Cody advice on where to find primary sources, as Fox was writing his ten-thousand-word dissertation on the Black Death and at this point, was basically an expert on where to find medical documents from varying time periods. Which was immensely helpful for Cody because his dissertation was on the treatment of shell shock in the First World War.

Dinner seemed to then settle, with all the boys commenting on funny or interesting things they had heard at university. When Fox piped up, “I was reading a chapter for my dissertation when the author commented that they buried people who had died of the Black Death by lying down a layer of bodies, then a layer of soil, another layer of bodies, more soil, more bodies and then the final layer of soil. It was interesting that the author used the analogy of the bodies been buried like how you make a lasagne.”

Everyone stopped, many of the people gathered around the table stared at Fox, with forks paused in the air. Fox, oblivious continued to eat his dinner with a smile on his face. Which was lasagne. Wolffe just shook his head and sighed in exasperation as he stopped eating his portion of lasagne and instead reached for a piece of garlic bread. Obi-Wan, taking interest in the analogy, was asking Fox if he had come across any other analogies like it. Rex, Echo and Fives dropped their forks and looked at their food in faint disgust. Qui-Gon and Anakin, who normally didn’t find anything disgusting, looked down at the lasagne on their plates in muted horror. Cody’s parents and uncle just sighed, with his uncle massaging his forehead in exasperation, while Cody’s aunt lifted her wine glass up and saluted Fox with it before taking a sip (Fox was a lot like his mother). Cody raised an eyebrow at his cousin, Fox smirked and then reached for the serving dish in the centre of the table. “Oh, no one else wants anymore? Guess I’ll finish the lasagne up then,” Fox stated with a mock innocent look on his face. Wolffe just sighed again and thumped his head down onto the table. Leaving Cody with the impression that Fox was hungry and saw how quickly the food was disappearing and decided to take matters into his own hands.

As Cody and Obi-Wan walked out of the library holding hands, Cody turned to Obi-Wan and smirked. “It is safe to say, lasagne will not be on the menu.”

Obi-Wan laughed loudly as they made their way into the cold air outside, wrapping his scarf tighter around his neck. Obi-Wan also admitted that neither his father nor Anakin, had been able to eat lasagne since that dinner. Anakin had seen lasagne being served for lunch at the university one day and had practically fled the cafeteria.

Together they walked to the bus stop that was less than a minute walk from the library and sat in contented silence as they travelled from campus on the short bus journey to their flat. Their shoulders knocked gently together as they swayed as the bus pulled in and out of bus stops. Their hands were still clasped together, and Obi-Wan was looking out of the window with a smile on his face as he watched people go about their day. Cody found himself unable to tear his gaze away from Obi-Wan’s face, watching as his eyes crinkled as he smiled at the sight of a giggling child play peekaboo with their younger sibling. The bright winter sun turned Obi-Wan’s copper hair into flames and it was a sight that always memorised Cody without fail. It was the sight that led to four-year-old him talking to Obi-Wan on their first day at school because he had never seen someone with the same-coloured hair as Obi-Wan before. Cody only realised they had reached the bus stop they needed when Obi-Wan pressed the button to alert the driver to stop. He reached down for his kit bag and swung it up onto his shoulder, they walked off the bus, thanked the driver and continued walking while holding hands. Obi-Wan began to talk about a book he had had to read for one of his modules and while Cody never heard of the book before, he enjoyed seeing how excited Obi-Wan was about it.

Once they got inside their flat, Obi-Wan put his bag, that contained his laptop and some books, on the floor by the door and went into the kitchen. Cody watched him for a moment, glad to see Obi-Wan was distracted making them both some lunch. Cody sat at their table and turned his laptop on and logged into the website where he was creating a photobook of photos of himself and Obi-Wan throughout their lives as a birthday present. There were hundreds of photos of them together over the years they had known each other, there were photos of primary, secondary and sixth form last days. Seeing how they had changed in those years was endearing and funny at the same time. Cody caught Obi-Wan looking over at him and Cody playfully tilted his laptop screen away from Obi-Wan’s view, not that his boyfriend could see it from where he was anyway. Obi-Wan smiled and then turned back to the sandwiches he was making. Obi-Wan knew he was getting his birthday present, just as Cody was aware Obi-Wan was also organising his birthday present, as Obi-Wan’s birthday was two days before Cody’s.

Cody checked through the photobook one last time and then seeing that everything was as he wanted it, he clicked order and waited for the confirmation email to arrive. Once it had, he closed his laptop down and smiled as Obi-Wan, at that moment, walked up to him and handed him a plate with his sandwich and an apple.

“I love you,” Cody said with a smile.

Obi-Wan rolled his eyes fondly, “ah yes. You only love me for my sandwich making skills.”

“You caught me!” chuckled Cody as he held his hands up in defence. They shared a smile and then both began eating their sandwiches in earnest. They chatted about friends from home who had gone to other universities or who went into work, the friends they had made in Manchester, the antics of crazy younger brothers and they also talked about if they wanted to do a Masters degree in their subject and if they did, where should they go? As it wasn’t a question about if they would go together, even if Obi-Wan decided to do a Masters and Cody didn’t, he was still going to move to whichever city Obi-Wan chose to go to for his Masters. But Cody was also liking the idea of doing a history Masters himself. “We could go to London. Wolffe and Fox are both going to do a Masters, we could go to uni with them.”

Obi-Wan frowned at him in amusement. “I thought you loved living in Manchester.”

“I do,” agreed Cody. “But I also want some peace from my brothers.” He added with a faked whining tone.

His boyfriend chuckled and then said. “You could apply to University of Manchester. So, you can stay in the city, but be in a different university to your brothers.”

Cody rolled his eyes. “As if that would stop them just turning up on Uni of’s campus,” he grumbled under his breath. He didn’t even think moving to the moon would stop his brothers from turning up to inconvenience him.

Obi-Wan just chuckled to himself as he shook his head, having to admit that going to Uni of would not stop Rex, Fives and Echo from turning up to see Cody. Within three weeks of starting the academic year, they had already worked out what rooms Cody had his seminars in and at what time they finished, so they could stand outside and wait for him. Despite Cody never once showing them his timetable.

After lunch, Cody began looking through some books for information he could add to his dissertation, while Obi-Wan turned his laptop on to work on one of his assignments. At the sound of an exasperated sigh, Cody looked up with one raised eyebrow to find Obi-Wan glaring at his laptop screen. “Problem?” he prompted lightly.

His boyfriend rolled his eyes and stated, “I hate this. We have a dissertation and other essays we need to complete that count towards our final degree. But then we are asked to write a two-thousand-word essay on the skills we have learnt doing our English degree and how those skills can help us in the workplace. While also having to give examples of jobs that use and need those skills.” Obi-Wan growled in frustration, “it is so pointless, but we have to do it otherwise we can be penalised if we don’t. But it’s wasting our time, we have other more important things to do.”

Cody grimaced and then reached out to squeezed Obi-Wan’s hand. “I totally get your frustration. We have been asked to do the exact same thing.”

Obi-Wan just groaned and thunked his head on the table, “I hate this. This is stress I do not need.” Cody smiled to himself and with his free hand, he ran his fingers through Obi-Wan’s hair, gently scratching at his scalp with his nails.

When Obi-Wan had relaxed, Cody recalled the lecture when he had been told about the assignment and how the career’s department guest lecturer and one of his usual history lecturers asked for people to give examples of skills, they had learnt doing their degree. He must have laughed to himself, because Obi-Wan was turning his head, leaving his face resting against the table top, and gave him an unimpressed glare. “Are you laughing at my pain?”

“No,” soothed Cody, brushing the hair out of Obi-Wan’s eyes. “Just remembering what Bly said in our lecture about the skills we have learnt doing a history degree.”

“Care to share? It might help me out,” asked Obi-Wan.

Cody smirked, “we have learnt to deal with emotionally crippling pain.”

There was a pause, and then Obi-Wan was laughing, his shoulders shaking as he lifted his head up from the table and instead rested it against Cody’s shoulder. “Oh, that’s a good one. I wonder if I could get away with using it?” he mused.

“I have no idea. But like you, I am tempted to use it,” stated Cody, happy to see a bit of life back in Obi-Wan’s eyes. There was nothing more depressing that having to complete a pointless assignment when you had a hundred other things to do that actually mattered for your degree.

They made the collective decision to stop working for the rest of the day, they were both mentally tired and decided they could do with a break. So, they found a film to watch, which led to another film, which led to another, until it was time for them to eat dinner. After they had shared the cooking, eaten and then shared the washing up, they decided to have an early night. Seeing as they both had nine am lectures on campus and arranged to meet in the library afterwards before Cody’s meeting with his dissertation supervisor.

As they stretched out on their bed, Cody pulling Obi-Wan to half lay on top of him, their legs tangled together. Despite the early time of the evening, the warmth and the presence of each other led them both to become drowsy and their eyes flickered heavily.

“Good night Cody,” yawned Obi-Wan, his jaw cracking at the force of the yawn.

“G’night Obi. Love you,” Cody breathed out on a sigh, his eyes closing as he felt himself begin to drift.

“Love you Code,” mumbled Obi-Wan as he pressed his face into the crook of Cody’s neck. With his nose pressed into Obi-Wan’s hair, Cody pressed a kiss against Obi-Wan’s forehead and felt a kiss pressed against his neck in return. With a smile on his face, Cody drifted off into sleep, where university stress faded away until it captured his attention tomorrow, but for now, he was able to sleep peacefully with his boyfriend in his arms.

End note:

I would draw the photo of all the boys in their onesies, but alas I cannot draw so let the image live on in our imaginations.

Also I really enjoyed writing this AU, so if anyone wants to see more from it (including Rex, Fives, Echo, Wolffe, Fox and Anakin) let me know!

I went to Manchester Metropolitan University and as I loved it there so much, I chose to make it the setting for my AU for codywanweek. The road, buildings, halls and park are real places at the university and writing this fic has just made me want to go back there. I couldn’t come up with a degree for Cody so I just gave him my degree and dissertation focus (so yes there does exist a 10,000-word dissertation on the treatment of shell shock in WWI). At MMU we did call the University of Manchester Uni of, to differentiate between the two universities.

The Black Death lasagne analogy does actually exist in a historical book somewhere. I didn’t actually read it, but one of my flatmates in first year, who also did history, did. He was revising for one of our exams and he excitedly burst into the shared kitchen, saw me and geeked out over the funny analogy, we laughed about it, about how it was such a random analogy to use. (But after a few years I still remember it, so I guess it’s useful.) But then one of our other flatmates, who wasn’t studying history, turned around and complained at us, because she was in the process of making lasagne for her dinner. So, the reactions to Fox’s gleeful explanation of the analogy are based on truth. Our flatmate didn’t want to eat her dinner because of us. As I was writing this fic, the analogy popped back into my head and I felt it would be such a Fox thing to say.

Cody’s line of “we have learnt to deal with emotionally crippling pain” during a career’s lecture. Is something that I heard said in a career’s lecture I had to sit through in my second year. So again, something else in this fic that is based on truth.

#codywanweek2021 #commander cody #obi wan kenobi #codywan #star wars fic #day 2: AU #modern university au #commander fox #commander wolffe #captain rex #arc trooper echo #arc trooper fives #anakin skywalker

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imagineyourself · 4 years

Text

Teacher’s Pet- A Spencer Reid Imagine

Spencer Reid x fem! psych major! reader

A/n: Hi guys, I’ve watched 9 seasons of criminal minds in 2 weeks, so expect a lot of criminal minds stuff coming! Also, kind of want to write a part 2 to this so lmk if you would like that!

Gif is not mine creds to @toyboxboy

Warnings: violence, swearing, mentions of blood and knives

Word count: 2.6k

“The unsub is likely in a position of power, well respected, maybe even admired. He works with young people, probably a teacher or professor. We need to find him, and fast before he kills another young girl.” Rossi spoke to the room of officers. The room disperses to begin searching for the killer, 4 girls are already dead.

“Rossi, I think I found the connection between the girls.” Dr. Spencer Reid turning away from the board with the bodies taped to it and a file in his hand. “They all shared a professor.”

“They all went to different schools, different majors.” Morgan interjects.

“He is a professor at multiple universities, and they’ve all taken a psych class at some point, mostly introductory level. He must have connected with them during that time.” Reid continues.

“Who is it, dammit, Reid?” Hotch said.

“A Professor Deslaurier, professor of psychology, which explains why he was hard to find. He’s one of us. But better than that, I think I know who his next target is.”

*campus cafe around the same time*

“I’m not saying that I’m ready to start dating again, but I would love to see what that barista’s got going on.” My best friend said grabbing her coffee from the counter, winking at the barista drying mugs.

“Oh my god, keep it in your pants, you and Garrett just broke up. Like 2 days ago. You were devastated, remember?” I remind her, gently shoving her with my elbow as we sat at a table by the window.

“His name was Garrett so clearly he isn’t that hard to get over. But anyway what’s up with you relationship wise, any new people?” She presses her lips to her coffee cup, as I pull out my laptop from my bag.

“You and I both know nothing is happening in that department. School and work is taking up all my time, and I can’t help but ruin dates with my charming personality.” I pull up my latest essay for my criminal psychology class, only 5 words on the page: my name, the date, and the class.

“Stop going all psych major on people when you’re on a first date or you’ll be alone forever.” She rolls her eyes at me as she glances out the window. Her eyes squinting in concentration, so I follow her gaze seeing a group of people in FBI uniforms talking to campus security.

“What the hell?” I say watching one of them glance around and look at the campus cafe and nod his head in its direction. The agent made his way over to the shop and steps in looking around, scanning like he was looking for someone. Then his eyes land on me.

He rushes over to the table, but his face and voice remain calm despite the urgency in his walk. “Are you Y/F/N Y/L/N?”

“Yes, I am. What’s going on?” I look between the man and Y/B/F/N.

“I’m Dr. Spencer Reid, FBI’s Behavioral Analysis Unit, and I’m going to need you to come with me.” He flashes his badge as fear washes over my face. “You’re not in trouble, don’t worry.” He smiles as I pack up my stuff, my essay still not begun.

I say goodbye to my friend, and leave with the mysterious Doctor. “So what’s going on and why do you need me? Or better yet where are we going?”

“Good question, do you have an apartment or dorm of some sort where we can go for a while?”

“Yea I have an off campus apartment just up the road. We can spend some time there, but why? Am I like in danger or something?”

“We have reason to believe you’re the killers next target.” He keeps me close as I guide him to my apartment. These are not the circumstances with which I would prefer to have this beautiful doctor be coming with me to my apartment, but it just be like that sometimes.

“Who would want to kill me? Why?” I ask as I approach my apartment door, unlocking it to allow us inside. “And what am I supposed to do to stop it?”

“That’s why I’m here, to protect you in case he comes to harm you, and it’s Professor Deslaurier who is attacking his brightest female students.”

“Hank wouldn’t do that. He was so kind,” I pause thinking about everything I’ve learned in my classes, “and I’m an idiot. He was manipulating me so I would trust him. He knew I was vulnerable and exploited that, and he’s a textbook narcissist.”

“Psych major?” Spencer asks as I sit on my couch with my head in my hands, wrapping my head around the fact that my favourite professor wants to kill me.

“Yeah, so I should have seen the signs. But I guess being a target is what happens when you’re stupid enough to trust the first teacher who approaches you.” I start crying, this sucks. The doctor, Spencer I think he said his name is, hands me a tissue. I take it graciously, a small smile creeps onto my lips at the gesture.

“It’s not your fault, you couldn’t have known he was a crazy serial killer. You were just being a good student, but you said that he approached you?” He sits next to me on the couch letting me lean on him slightly.

“Yeah, he came up to me after a lecture, raving about one of my essays and how my perspective was fascinating and came from a personal place. He basically decoded me from an essay. Where is he now?” I pull myself together enough to sit up, seeing the tear stains on his sweater. “ I’m sorry about your sweater.”

“Don’t worry about it,” he smiles and looks down at the stains I left. “We are trying to locate him now and put him away so he can’t hurt you or anyone else.”

“So what am I supposed to do until he’s caught?”

“Do you have anything here to work on? Homework or test to prepare for? I’m a great study buddy if you need help.” He smiles as if he’s not here to protect me from my crazy killer professor.

“Actually I do have a criminal psychology essay due in like 10 hours.”

“10 hours?! Why have you been putting it off? Unless the topic is something uncomfortable to think about?”

“You said your name was Spencer, right? Is it okay if I call you that?” He nods, still waiting for me to answer the question. “Well, Spencer, the essay is about what would make us snap, or our stressor as you guys call it, and kill people. Like searching through our traumas to see what would be the last straw. It’s not exactly a pleasant thought.”

Spencer looks into my eyes, deep like he’s reaching for my soul. He’s trying to profile me, but making it look a lot harder than it is. “You’ve been through a lot before: tough childhood, bad relationships, things like that,” I nod my head averting my eyes “But none of those things means you’re going to become a killer. Stressors only work if you let them, and I’ve had years of profiling experience and from the short time I’ve known you I can safely say you are incapable of killing someone.”

“How are you so sure? You barely know me?” I look up from my hands and gaze into his eyes, they are the warmest honey brown color.

“You and I both know you can learn a lot about someone without having to know them for a significant amount of time. I am highly skilled in the area of subtle detections and putting together clues to build personalities from fragments.”

“Yeah, I’m aware. I can’t hide anything from you because you already know it, so you are already well aware that I am incredibly attracted to you. I may not be an FBI profiler, but I can tell you like me too.” I put my hands over his, seeing his cheeks flare pink at the gesture. I lean closer to him, feeling his breath on my face.

Until he suddenly pulls back, but it was forceful. He didn’t want to, but he had to. I was about to apologize for how inappropriate it was, he’s just doing his job, but he starts before I can talk.

“Your essay is due in 10 hours, more accurately 9 hours 47 minutes and 22 seconds, and you haven’t started. Work on your essay, it’ll distract you from the current situation.” He stands and paces the room as if trying to come up with the best solution to a problem. I just couldn’t tell if the problem was me or the case.

I was going to argue with him, but I sighed knowing he’s right. I need to write my essay so I don’t fail my class. The screen burns my eyes as I stare at the practically blank screen. The sound of my fingers running across the keyboard fills my small apartment as I figure out my story. I stop for a moment after several minutes of furious typing and look up.

“What are some typical stressors of serial killers?” I ask Spencer giving him the opportunity to use his genius brain to help me.

After 4 tortuous hours of writing and editing done by Dr. Reid, I hit submit on my essay. I high five the young doctor in celebration, but he catches my hand and intertwines his fingers with mine instead. The air catches in my throat, I’m speechless. Now it’s my turn to blush at a small gesture. He holds me for a moment, gazes locked on each other. I lean up to meet his lips, but a knock at my door disturbs the quiet of the room. Reid puts a finger to his lips signalling for silence.

“Y/N open up. I know you’re home.” A voice calls from the hall.

“Hank.” I whisper, frightfully looking at Spencer pleading for some direction in the situation. How am I supposed to know what to do when my crazy professor shows up at my apartment to kill me? He nods his head toward the door as he creeps in its direction silently, gun in hand. He looks hot when he’s in agent mode. Wait, not the biggest issue right now, focus Y/N. I stand behind the door, looking over at him and he nods. I open the door slightly. “Hey Professor Deslaurier, what’s up?” He looks distressed and frazzled, but I would too if the fucking FBI was trying to find me for being a serial killer.

“I’ve been looking for you.”

“Uhhhh, I’ve been working on a paper. Do you need something?” I stand close to the door, practically hugging it as if my life depended on it. Reid’s presence behind the door went undetected by my professor since he stepped closer to the door.

“The paper must be amazing, you were always an amazing writer. May I come in?” He wasn’t really asking, his foot in the doorframe.

“I would rather not, I’m very busy. Deadlines and all.” I push the door closed, but before I could he shoves his way in. I walk backwards into the open space, consciously making an effort not to let Deslaurier know Reid is there by looking at him, which became incredibly difficult as he came closer to me pushing my back into a wall.

“You were always so intelligent and strong headed, but now, you’re just weak and pathetic. Aww look at the panic in your eyes. You can’t think your way out of this one.” He pulls a knife from his pocket and presses the flat side to my neck and I whimper. I squirmed in his grasp and in a moment of panic, I look at Reid. Deslaurier’s gaze follows mine and meets the agent standing in my apartment, gun cocked. Suddenly the cold, hard wall I was pressed against became warm and soft as my killer holds me against him like a shield, a knife to my throat. “Who is this son of a bitch?”

“I’m Dr. Reid with the FBI. Release her, put down the knife.” Spencer points his gun at the floor, knowing he would be unable to get a shot that wouldn’t hit me.

“Oooh, a doctor she chooses smart guys to whore herself out to.” I squirm in his grasp. My neck burns as the sharp edge of the weapon presses into me.

“I’m just here to protect her from you. You aren’t as clever as you think you are, you know? We caught you. You can’t hurt anybody anymore. Drop the knife and let her go. Now. I don’t want to hurt you, but I will. Let her go.”

“Spencer, please.” I whisper, tears streaming down my face. I’m probably going to die, I’ve accepted that. I just don’t want Spencer to see me go, I can tell this is killing him. Agent or no agent, this is an awful situation to be put in.

“Does she mean something to you, Doctor? I wouldn’t get attached if I were you, she’ll just throw you away like she did to me. Best and brightest in my class, but just another stupid girl outside of it.” If looks could kill, Deslaurier would be dead under Reid’s gaze. His eyes soften when he looks at me, giving me hope. With a sudden rush of adrenaline, I swing my leg back into my capture’s knee, dislocating it in the process. The knife sliced through part of my neck, just barely missing vital veins. Spencer takes his shot as the professor falls to the ground, catching me in his strong arms as I fall forward.

“Hey, hey, hey look at me. You’re going to be okay. Everything is going to be fine. We’re going to take you to the hospital and get you stitched up. Okay? Just keep looking at me.” He holds me as we sit on the floor.

“Spencer…” I whisper and everything goes dark.

Beeping and whispers fill the room as I open my eyes. I’m sitting in a hospital bed, what happened? Why does my head hurt so much?

“Hey take it easy. You’re in the hospital, you lost a lot of blood.” Spencer says, standing next to my bed taking my hand.

“What happened after I blacked out? How did we get here?” The beeping becomes incessant as my heart races.

“Relax, it’s okay,” He squeezes my hand and the beeping softens, “My team went to your apartment and took care of Deslaurier, I shot him in the shoulder after you kicked him, which good job by the way, even if it caused you to get hurt. You ended up getting a nasty cut on your neck, but it missed any critical veins.”

“Thanks.” I smile looking at our hands.

“You know you scared me half to death when you lost consciousness.”

“Well, sorry, I’ll try not to almost get murdered by a serial killer next time.” I smirk sarcastically as he laughs stroking my cheek.

“Yeah, thanks.”

“You know, we were in the middle of something before being rudely interrupted.” I look up at the gorgeous doctor who happened to save my life.

“Oh yeah, where were we again?” He smirks, lowering himself closer to my level in the bed.

“Right about here.” I pull him close, kissing his pillow soft lips.

#spencer x reader #spencer reid #dr spencer reid #spencer reid imagine #criminal minds #criminal minds imagine #spencer reid imagines #criminal minds imagines

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purity-town · 3 years

Text

Little late getting to these -- that's fully the fault of a class project I spent all of Monday/Tuesday and most of Wednesday working on -- but I finished my project and wrote up some long replies to these!

(Apologies for any funny formatting -- I'm trying out the beta for the new post editor!)

Absolutely not.

Nope! There are a few people who do know (other guides Andrew's met before, the Dryad, and I'd imagine the Witch Doctor knows something's up even if he doesn't know why), but none of them live in Purity Town proper, and the Dryad and Witch Doctor aren't the kind to participate in rumors or spread what isn't theirs to share. The old man is also aware just because he and Andrew have talked about their curses, but he's 1) not currently in town and 2) not going to share even if he were.

Most folks don't know much about Andrew in general; Becca probably knows the most out of the townsfolk, knowing a little bit about his family and where he's from (he has some pretty specific skills as a hunter that betray this, but he doesn't talk about his exact town of birth), but no specifics and certainly not time periods.

Andrew is good at keeping things quiet; he has to be.

I would actually appreciate if you didn't post to Pinterest -- usually I'm fine with people reposting with credit (several of the things I've posted to my DeviantArt have found their way to Instagram, for example) but Pinterest has something of a reputation for stolen art (things being reposted from another Pinterest post without credit this time, or credit being hard to view for users not logged in or just viewing through Google). So reposting elsewhere is fine (though if you repost to Reddit or Instagram, tag me at u/Ariibees or @Ariibees)! I'd just prefer my works stay off of Pinterest.

The terminology related to The Guide/Andrew/The Guardian/The World’s Core/The WoF is all confusing because on some level, they’re all the same being. Kind of like trying to talk about Jekyll and Hyde -- same guy, different looks/actions, haha.

For all intents and purposes, references to the WoF being the barrier/core/whatever behind or within which the spirits of light and dark are contained is equivalent to saying “these spirits are held trapped by the magic of the Guardian, who when summoned appears as the WoF.” I do break slightly from the official lore in how the WoF/Guardian/thing holding back these spirits works (mostly because I don’t really like the idea that the Hallow is a “temporary guardian” or whatever), but the basic concept of “these are trapped by [thing that makes up the WoF]” remains unchanged.

If “loony cultist” is a reference to something, I’m so sorry, but I’m lost on it. If you’re just talking about the lunatic cultist in a funny way, then yes, they’re in here as a very plot-significant character!

I had to google what meme you were talking about, but it did make me laugh.

Andrew’s most annoyed by the nickname because people do like to call him Guide, and for someone who’s dedicated his whole life to his role, it can get tiring. He doesn’t really *mind* being called Guide -- it’s fine, that’s what he is and as long as people are respectful of his job he’ll take what he can get -- but at the same time, he’d like for people to stop thinking “Aah! Monster!” or “Weird academic know-it-all” and just...treat him like a normal person sometimes. So he fights to be called Andrew. And...Malik comes along and gives him a nickname that he doesn’t like and doesn’t allow others to use, save for maybe a small group of people of which Malik is not a part. So, not cool, man!

People love to overcomplicate explaining shading/lighting, and if you wanted to you could certainly go on and on about reflections of light off the ground and shading colors and all sorts of things, but as I’m writing this at 1 AM I don’t really care to.

If you really want to get into shading, I see nice ones on DeviantArt or Tumblr from time to time, or you can always watch a YouTube video on it. Really, though, just keep at it, think about how the shadows should look and work, and you'll get better at it eventually and pick up new ideas on how it all works. (And this is coming from someone who is new to making comics and actually started as a painter.)

Purity Town’s shading comes down to this: simplicity. As much as I’d love to spend hours and hours redrawing the panels I don’t like and carefully shading every fold of fabric and painting detailed backgrounds, I’m a full-time college student and will be working full-time over the summer -- I don’t have the time. So, I cut corners: I reuse backgrounds or use brushes (see: bricks, trees, clouds) that make certain details easier, and I try not to obsess too much over panels I’m not fully happy with. Shadows go where they feel right, and light on the opposite side.

For shading, this comes down to making things quick and easy. For these last few pages, character shading/lighting has only been five layers. One hard light layer for the bluer soft shadows, one overlay layer for darker soft shadows, one linear burn layer for hard shadows, one soft light layer for soft lighting, and one overlay layer for hard lighting. I’ll often also make use of glow dodge layers for lighting, or change the color balance or add more hard/soft light layers if there’s a very heavy color filter on the scene (such as a celestial event, blood moon, or outdoors at night).

Using all the different layer types is essentially a cheat code to fancier lighting -- don’t want to use flat black? Boom, hard light or overlay or burn will give you colored shadows. Want to make your light brighter? Glow dodge will make it burn your retinas.

Sorry that this isn’t a very comprehensive guide, but in my mind, shading and lighting is really something that you pick up over time and it’s hard to sit down and write a guide for it without making it into a massive essay on art theory that I don't even know proper terminology for because I'm not an art student. Of course with some googling you’ll find *proper* guides for this sort of thing from art majors and the likes, and those can be super helpful and technical! But for Purity Town, I just sort of go with what feels right and what's easy to replicate.

Firstly, I’m happy to hear you’re liking the comic!

Secondly, those buttons are actually there due to the theme! (For those on mobile who can’t see it, I have the theme set to only display on desktop as I prefer the current mobile layout on phone.) I’m using the simple webcomic theme (a quick Google should tell you how to install it for yourself) -- except I’m not actually using it for the webcomic features; rather, it’s a case of “this is the most simple, nice-looking non-default theme I could find.”

The previous/next buttons are added by the theme with the intent that the blog is being used as a typical webcomic website, with nothing but comic pages being posted. However, I post asks and other art here too, and I do so with the intent that people looking at #Terraria or their dashboards in general will see it. So...I use html formatting to make the first/previous/next/last links, along with an index and chapter-by-chapter viewing (using /tagged/chapter##/chrono) so that no matter where you’re coming from, you can still navigate just the pages!

If you want to add just the previous/next buttons, I can’t really help you -- web development is not my area of study in the slightest. But you can check out the theme that they come from and if you want to install only them, you can surely find a tutorial on it somewhere!

(As a side note, the comments section is not from the theme, it’s from a site called Disqus. I don’t expect many people, if anyone, to leave comments, but since I link back to this site a lot and many folks don’t have Tumblr accounts, it’s an option I like to make available.)

Hiya! My hike was pretty nice; it was a short and easy one, but that was quite appreciated as the trail is unmaintained from November to April, and the trail was covered in fallen trees and quite rocky. Still had fun, though!

And for backgrounds, it depends! For indoors scenes (or outdoors scenes with buildings) I don’t tend to use references, outside of looking up things like “which side of a door is the handle on.” I will, however, integrate real-life textures (see: the quilt and rug in Guide’s house, the wood walls on the building in the background of this week’s page), and paint over paintings from the Terraria wiki.

For outdoors scenes, for simple backgrounds (such as foliage-heavy) ones, I typically don’t need references. I like the difference between detailed, lined indoor/man-made object scenes vs. painted, messy outdoor scenes. But for things like mountains, I do sometimes look up references to help with color choices and the likes.

The town’s layout is a bit strange in that depending on the scene, the background could be drastically different. One side of town faces more mountainside, one side faces the orchards/open hillside, and the other two sides face various degrees of open space and more mountainside/forest. References taken on top of mountains are helpful to get an idea of what degree of foliage I should include between the characters and the sky.

Though this is very specific to the town of Purity -- other towns/villages will have significantly different-looking backgrounds, even the foliage-heavy ones.

That said, what's even more helpful than looking at photos is looking at paintings. Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron is really good for getting an idea of how to draw grasslands and distant mountains, plus Studio Ghibli movies in general!

#purity town #pt asks #terraria #not an update

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tellatennie · 4 years

Text

Denki Kaminari x Female!Reader

Warnings: Rough kissing??

I wrote this a while ago xD And someone requested to be put in it then so thats who Lizzie is because FAN SERVICE

Stupid party. I hate this

I sighed as I stood in my friends room, glaring at my reflection in the mirror. She was having a huge party downstairs and had forced me into a dress that she bought me.

”I look. Just....why?” She popped her head in through the doorway. “Oh my GOD YOU LOOK SO CUTEEEE” She squealed and ran into the room and circled me and hugged me. I stepped back and looked at her.

”Oh my gosh Lizzy you look so nice!” she gushed at me “Thanks (Y/N)! You think Katsuki will like it?” I nodded and she squealed.

She look my bun out and started to curl my hair, being careful to not burn me.

“Yknow, Denki will love that dress on you.” She smirked at my flushing face. It was pretty obvious to everyone that I had a crush on him, and they would tell me he liked me back but I never believed them.

“Sh-Shut up.” She giggles and when she finished my hair and took a step back and smiled at me. Someone cleared their throat from the door way and she let out a small shriek. We turned around to see Katsuki standing at the door. When he saw her he straightened up and flushed slightly.

“Y-You look nice” She laughed and walked near him. “Did my Katsuki just stutter?” He grumbled and walked away, mumbling something into her ear. She giggled and pranced back to me and picked up a rose from her desk and placed it in my hair. She grabbed my shoulders and looked at me.

“Listen to me (Y/N). Tonight is the night you are going to be the most vibrant girl in the room. Denki is going to see you and explode at your sexiness” I raised an eyebrow at her.

“Should I be worried that your calling me sexy?” She pinched my cheek before smacking it slightly and walked to the door, glancing over her shoulder “Come down when your ready” **** (Denki Pov)

I sighed, getting myself more of the fruit punch Lizzy had most likely spiked with vodka. I looked around the enormous living room, my eyes scanning for a certain brown haired girl. I saw Lizzy walk down the her I sped walked to her, tossing my arm around her shoulder. "Heyy Lizzy" She raised an eyebrow at me and smiled "Hi Denki, do you need something?" My face started to heat up slightly "umm well I was wondering if anyone else is coming to the party or if everyone is here already?" "Oh you mean (Y-" "OH HEY (Y/N)" I jumped at the shout from Kirishima and looked up the staircase in front of me and saw the beauty I had fallen for walking down the stairs with a flushed face. All eyes were on her, but she was looking right at me. My face felt hot I knew it was red. I start to walk to the bottom of Lizzies' seemingly endless staircase to join (Y/N), but as i approach it, and were still maintaining eye-contact, Ochaco, Mina, and Kirishima rush past me and speak to her and pull her away from me in the opposite direction (sad elec boi). I watch the back of their heads leaving the room into the kitchen when i feel someone nudge me.

"Buck up buddy, they don't realize how much you love her" Lizzie says to me, a big grin on her face. "L-love? I d-don't loVE her" I sputter out, she obviously doesn't believe my pathetic lie. "Oh yeah, and you don't stay up until 4 in the morning playing pokemon on your ds. Don't worry though, ill set up some games so you'll be able tooooo..... talk to her?" Well that doesn't sound suspicious at all. Lizzie smiles and me and backs up slowly, disappearing into the crowd of people. I try looking for her to figure out what 'games' shes going to set up, but i cant find her, until she appears on a stage with a microphone.

"HellOOO my welcome guests! Tonight has been amazing so far, and i have all of you to thank! For any of you who want to partake in some generic smexy party games, follow me into the basement lounge, if you prefer to stay up here in the main area feel free to!" oh noooo nonono Lizzie makes her way off the stage and motions for people to follow her. She looks at me and motions for me especially.

We all make our way down to her GIANT lounge and everyone gathers in a circle, I see most of class 1-A and a few students from 2-B. I see (Y/N) from across the circle, shes in deep conversation with Monoma, laughing and making jokes with him. I feel a pang of jealously in my chest and I look away from them and take a seat on a couch. Resting my chin on my palm, watching the group around me.

(Your Pov)

"OK everyone take a seat in a circle and we'll get started!" Lizzie said aloud. I skim the room and notice Denki looking a little grumpy, I go to talk to him put I'm pulled into a seat by Mina. "Don't worry (Y/N), you'll get to socialize with your boy-toy during the games" I flushed "H-hes not my b-boy-toy" she gives me a look and is about to say something when she gets cut off by Lizzie. "Okie dokie then i think we're ready to play some games, how about we start off with spin the bottle?" This question got a lot of good responses from the lounge dwellers so Lizzie pulled out an empty bottle and set it down on the ground in the middle of the circle. "Who's up first?" She was met with silence "Alright..... guess ill go then" She was met with many protests and people offering to go first. See, Lizzie isn't able to play these kind of games because if Katsuki ever found out, everyone participating would be dead in seconds, so no one wants her to do anything other then watch and help move it along.

"That's what i thought, well then i get to pick who goes first......Izuku! You spin first!" Izukus face flushed a bit as he reached forward and spun the bottle, every ones eyes were on the bottle as it slowed down and stopped on Shoto. Poor Izuku was a stuttering mess as people around them giggled like crazy, everyone knew about the crushes each of them had on one another and it was adorable to watch the timid izuku lean over and peck the maroon faced shoto on the lips. Everyone giggled even more as izuku returned to his seat and hid his face in his polo shirt. "Cuteee. Alright, i vote (Y/N) next!" Lizzie said with the dorkiest smile on her face. I gulped slightly and glanced at Denki out of the corner of my eyes, he looks like hes on edge, he definitely straightened his back. I reached over to the bottle and spun it, i want it to land on Denki, i really do. It slows to a stop.

Monoma. Dang. Monoma is probably one of my best friends, i don't really want to kiss him. "Do i have to kiss him on the lips?" I ask, "No you don't, but this is the only veto for anyone" I lean over to Monoma and kiss him on the cheek. "Good, i don't want to kiss her, shes a good best friend but not my sophisticated type." Monoma chuckles out. Everyone lets out those nose breath laughs and moves on.

After a few rounds of this game people start getting a bit bored, so Lizzie announces "Well i guess we only have enough time for one more game, its getting late. So lets play a spicy game, 7 minutes in heaven!" Some people groan, and some people squeal. Its very obvious who likes this game and who doesn't.

Lizzie has everyone drop some sort of item of theirs into a hat and Lizzie has people draw something at random. Some pairs go into a closet and come out exactly the same, other go in and come out with obvious ruffled hair and lipstick smears. Lizzie gets to me and reaches the hat out to me "No peaking (Y/N)" I reach in and run my hand around, i feel something seemingly rectangular and flat, connected to what i think is a lanyard. I pull it out and quickly look at the item. eff

The lanyard is yellow and covered with small pikachus in different poses, i look at the UA i.d card connected to it and i see what i both wanted to see, and dreaded to see. I see the dorky smile of Denki Kaminari. Lizzie snatches the lanyard out of my hand and peers at it, with the most ecstatic look on her face. (Y/N) and Denki! You're up!" I'm shoved into the medium sized closet with Denki, i back into a corner, and i cant see anything. "Seven minutes starting nowwww!" i hear Lizzie shout from a room over.

"Lizzie? Where are you? I cant see anything" Denki says, i hear a small thud and i hear what was most likely something hitting him on the head. "I'm here Denki" I reach my hands out to feel for him "Are you okay you ditz? That sounded like it hurt" I feel my hands touch something moving (him obviously) "Yeah I'm fine" I feel his hands over mine and he travels them up my arms and onto my face, cupping my cheeks. "D-denki? What're you d-doing"

"I'm glad you pulled my lanyard out of that hat, the truth is (Y/N)... I really like you, more than a friend. D-do you think you would like the be with m-me?" My heart melts, 'this sweet little bean' I reach my arms around his neck and pull him closer to me "W-wha-" i cut him off my kissing him, something I've wanted to do almost since i met him.

(Denki Pov)

Shes- Kissing me!?! Her lips are warm and soft, i kiss her back, and inwardly cringed at how it was a little rougher then i wanted it to seem, but she starts kissing me harder too so imma roll with it.

[BEWARE, EXTREMELY CRINGE AND BAD WRITING AHEAD SJKJNBLSTHBSILRUTNG]

(Your Pov)

He pushes me into the wall of the closest, my hands are in his hair, tugging him into the rough kiss more, One of his hands roam down to my ass and he gropes it slightly, causing me to gasp, which he took the opportunity to slip his tongue into my mouth. As we battle for dominance he taps my thighs with his hand basically telling me to jump. I wrap my legs around his waist as he keeps me pinned in the wall with his body. He slips his tongue out of my mouth and he makes his way down to my neck, licking and sucking on almost all the surface area of it. His hands start to roam my thighs and they make their way up to-

"PUT MY FRIEND DOWN BOI" The closet door is swung open by Lizzie and when she sees the position we're in she pretends to faint and walks away laughing her ass off. Denki sets my legs back on the ground and awkwardly looks at everyone staring at us. "What?" He asks, they all divert their eyes as Denki takes my hand and leads me out of the lounge and outside to Lizzies' patio. We sit down at a table and smile at each other like dorks. "(Y/N), would you like to be my girlfriend? Given what we just did in the closet I would hope so but i figured i need to ask just to be sur-" I once again cut him off from rambling and press my lips onto his. This actually might be what everyone calls happily ever after...

jzfdb.kjdsgnbkjngbkjsg I'm REALLY bad at writing romantic scenes *cough* or any scene at all *cough* but i hope you all enjoyed!

#mha #bnha x reader #mha x reader #bnha #mha oneshot #bnha oneshots #oneshot #denki kaminari #denki #kaminari #mina ashido #monoma neito #denki x reader #kaminari x reader

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tfenvs3000 · 4 years

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Final Blog Post - My Personal Ethics

In the journey to become a successful nature interpreter, you must often stop to assess your personal beliefs, morals, and ethics surrounding the subjects at hand. Doing so allows you to separate the beliefs you hold from the scientific / observable truth, and ensures that you are providing a learning experience that is largely unencumbered by your own prejudices and morals. Here, I will go over two beliefs of mine that I am acutely aware of, briefly discuss the responsibilities I feel as a nature interpreter as a result of these closely held beliefs, and describe the nature interpretation approaches that I feel I could most effectively employ based on what I know is effective. Oh...and share some of my favourite, most beautiful photos I’ve ever taken!

(Personal photo: UBC Campus, Vancouver, British Columbia. The colours of the leaves, the sun rays, the blue sky - this picture is truly heavenlyl!)

Personal beliefs can intersect with one’s teaching practice (Varty N.G., 2009). They can often arise almost subconsciously, as a gut reaction-type response to a comment or question received or in a description of a particular issue in nature. Personal beliefs are not something to feel guilty about or something to bury deep down while in a teaching role, however it is absolutely important to be aware of them. It is also important to reflect on these gut reactions after they occur, and to “understand and resolve the tensions and subjectivities revealed in the process” (Varty N.G., 2009) - this allows you to learn from them to keep in mind for the future.

(Personal photo: The first thing that comes to my mind when I see this photo is LIFE!)

One of my beliefs that I am aware of is my undying commitment to environmentalism. I truly believe that the natural world is at dire risk of irreversible, anthropogenic (human-caused) change, and thus it would be my first goal in nature interpretation. Part of this means demonstrating the “gift of beauty” in nature (Beck et al., 2018), and (hopefully) garnering a sense of respect in your audience so that they are inspired to become environmental stewards themselves. However, there are many people out there who might not be so open to this point of view. When it comes to interpreting nature for people like this, it is certainly not best to get into heated discussions with them about environmental issues, but rather let nature do what it does best: astound them in its beauty and inspire them to care.

Another belief of mine is in line with that of Richard Louv: being in nature is an essential component of growing up, and that kids (and even adults) these days are spending more time inside and are worse off as a result (Hooykaas, Unit 8). There are certainly many science-backed benefits of spending time in nature, as well as benefits in participating in physical activity over being lethargic. Yet, we never now how people might react to being confronted with the fact that their life could be made better by being exposed to nature: as always, we have to prepare for the best and expect the worst.

After outlining these two beliefs of mine, it’s important for me to understand that these beliefs might differ from those of others, and prepare to adjust my nature interpretation style accordingly. If I fail to do so, I am at risk of pushing certain people away from nature rather than bringing them closer to it, simply because I was too stubborn in my ways. As is stated in Beck et al., 2018 “it is important to be flexible as no two groups are alike.” - we as nature interpreters must actively adapt our delivery of certain topics based on how we feel the audience will respond, and approach every discussion with an open mind and a sense of empathy for who we are speaking to.

(Personal photo: Yoho National Park, Alberta. I hope to go back soon!)

As a result of having these two primary beliefs, I feel the responsibility as an interpreter to a) promote the benefits of being in nature for us as humans and b) bring attention to the risks that natural areas face in the shadow of climate change. These would be my two primary goals and priorities in planning and delivering nature interpretation lessons; they are both causes I am very passionate about, and to me, are of the greatest priority in the field of nature interpretation.

(Personal Photo: Meech Lake, Near Ontario. Check out that blue sky peeking through!)

There are several nature interpretation approaches that I believe would work best, especially when used in tandem. Firstly, I feel that it is extremely important to cater to all types of learners. This means including visual (photographs, diagrams, charts), auditory (music, soundscapes, lectures), and tactile (craft building, use of props) teaching aids (Hooykaas, Unit 2). Everyone has their preferred learning style, however, as is stated by Beck et al., 2018, multisensory learning benefits everyone’s learning; it engages all the senses, creating a well-rounded experience for the student that will stick out in their mind in the future. Secondly, I will absolutely employ active discussion in my nature interpretation. I believe group discussion is so valuable because it allows people to express their opinions and hear those of others, adding a personal touch and taking away from the formality of it all. I think I will plan for setting aside 5-10 minutes at the end of every activity to discuss the experience as a group. Third, I would make sure to incorporate indigenous knowledge along with the science-backed research on nature. The reason for this is not only to pay homage to the people who occupied this land before us, but also to make use of the wealth of knowledge indigenous people have of nature itself and the incredibly deep connection they have to nature (Hooykaas, Unit 7).

This wraps up my blog posts for this semester! I would like to thank you for your reading and interacting with my posts; I’ve learned a lot from you, and I hope I taught you something in return.

I can't wait to get out there and do some nature interpretation in the real world!

So the journey begins...

~Ty 🦅

References:

Guinot Varty, N. (2009). My perspective: Personal beliefs informing and intersecting with teaching practice. Language Arts Journal of Michigan, 24(2). doi:10.9707/2168-149x.1050

Beck, L., Cable, T. T., & Knudson, D. M. (2018). Interpreting cultural and natural heritage: For a better world. Urbana, IL: Sagamore Venture.

Hooykaas, A. (2021). Units 8, 2, 7. Retrieved, March 29th, 2021

#nature #wilderness

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thinking-in-symbols · 3 years

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Quinquennial Life Assessment

So, it’s been a few years. When I was 19 I posted a sort of “roadmap” for the evolution of my life on this blog. Today I thought I’d revisit that. I want to take a look back and see what progress I’ve made, and then in a separate post I want to turn to the future, think about how my vision for it has changed, and consider how I can reincorporate these goals into that vision.

This is the list of things I wanted to get done in varying time frames. I’ve crossed off the things I’ve done to get a sense of my progress:

1 year:

At 19, my hopes were to accomplish the following things by age 20:

- Joined, and consistently participated in, at least 2 campus organizations that suit my interests, at least 1 of which should be competitive in nature - well, I joined the ISO and KVRX, my college radio station! Neither of those were competitive, but in retrospect I don’t really care about that :-)

- Made concrete plans to study abroad - Nope, unfortunately I never did this. I’m not quite sure I regret that, all things considered - I traded that experience for other things. I did make plans to spend a few months abroad of my own accord, and I would have gotten away with it, too, if it weren’t for that meddling global pandemic. But as it stands I haven’t done this.

- Learned C++ and python to proficiency - Hm. “Proficient” is a relative term. But I think I have a tendency to downplay my skills, so in the interest of counteracting that I’m going to count myself as “proficient” in these languages. I think that’s fair.

- Gone on at least a several day road trip with at least 1 friend - I’ve gone on several trips with @meeshbug, my very lovely girlfriend and best friend in the world :-)

- Decided on a concentration beyond the extremely vague umbrella of “computer science” - Unfortunately as far as my education is concerned I never really did this. If anything my interests have *broadened* rather than becoming more focused. More on this later...

- Made meaningful, ongoing contributions to an open-source project - You know what? I’ve published the source of everything I’ve ever made, and I’ve gotten to the point where I can make stuff that’s not trivial. So I’m giving myself credit for this one.

- Learned to cook enough meals to eat in most days and not get sick of my own food - I wish. I’ve learned to cook a fair amount of stuff but I still get way too depressed and lethargic to apply that consistently. Whether I consider myself to have achieved this honestly depends on the month.

- Learned to keep my living area clean - I’m much better at this than I was at 19, but at 19 I could barely clear a path to walk across my room. So there’s more work to do. More on these last two later.

- Gotten a pet - Meesh and I have a dog named Courage (after the dog of cowardly fame) and a cat named Jax!

2 years:

- Independently written a piece of software to completion and deployed it publicly - I’ve always pretty bad at actually seeing projects through to completion, but I do have a few full, independent projects under my belt at this point. I’ve built a simple game engine, a pathtracer, plugins for games I like, and some other stuff.

- purchased and begun regularly using some basic amateur radio equipment - Ah man. I got my license but I still haven’t gotten any equipment. I guess I have to get on that...

- purchased and begun experimenting with some basic music recording equipment - This one I’ve done, but I haven’t done as much experimenting as I’d like.

- hosted a party - I did this for my 21st birthday and it’s one of my favorite memories! Honestly this was probably the last time I had all my really close friends in one place. I’m actually getting kind of emotional about that.

- done some kind of hallucinogen - I have now done this. I definitely did get something out of it, albeit not what I expected. This is something I actually only did pretty recently and it’s still having a pretty profound effect. Maybe I’ll write a separate post about this.

- Gone camping with friends - Despite my best efforts, this hasn’t happened yet. Pretty fucked up.

3 years:

- learned to play another instrument besides the piano (guitar?) - I don’t feel comfortable crossing this one off quite yet, but I went ahead and bought myself some guitar equipment and have been messing around with it lately :-) I think I’m going to have to bite the bullet and pay for lessons if I’m serious about this, which I am.

- Written and recorded a song - Damn, I can’t believe it’s been 5 years and I haven’t even done this.

- Met a group of people I can play music with - nope

- Owned a leather jacket. I can’t believe I’ve still never even owned a leather jacket - I’ve done this and wore it frankly too much. Kinda cringe.

- Worked as a professional software developer - Yep! Worked as a software developer for a retail company for a couple years. I’m actually not working as a software developer right now, though; I’m working in a sort of adjacent position. More on this later.

- Participated in research related to my field - That’s pretty ambitious. Not sure I’ll ever do this, unfortunately. But we’ll see.

- Been to a film festival - Oh shit, I totally forgot about having written this. That’s a cool idea. I should do this, it’s not like it’s hard (well, at least in principle. I guess covid kind of changes the situation).

- Gotten a dog - Courage is one of those, I think, although he might also be part rat.

- collected 50 records - Lol, my dumb ass really thought I was going to buy $1,000 worth of records on college money. No, I haven’t done this, but I’m on my way there.

- Purchased a desktop computer - Well, my dad gave me his old desktop. That’s not really a purchase but I think it counts.

5 years:

- Begun accepting freelance development gigs - haven’t gotten here yet and I’m not totally sure this is a direction I want to go in my career. Freelancing has its own stressors as I’ve come to learn from others. No career path is sunshine and roses and I’m trying to internalize this fact.

- Participated in a student film - Nope. I don’t even know why I wrote this down to be honest.

- Gotten laid by solving a 5x5 Rubik’s Cube in front of a girl because surely that’s gonna have to work on someone eventually, otherwise I wasted a lot of time - These are getting weird. Surely I didn’t really expect this to happen, right? Well, either way I now have a long-term girlfriend, so I don’t - wait, Meesh has seen me solve a Rubik’s cube and she saw it before we started dating. So actually I’m going to give myself credit for it. I’m the one who makes the rules here.

- Fleshed out my political opinions - Yes, I now know everything about politics and can answer 100% of questions on political issues. Just kidding. But I know where I stand.

- Participated in a protest or some other kind of political event - Done! Went to a few protests as part of the ISO, participated in lots of their events, and attended some protests with friends as well.

- Studied abroad - Nope :-/

- Learned a language other than Spanish - I took a semester of French! But I don’t quite want to give myself credit for this one because I really would like to learn a different language to something resembling fluency.

- Run a marathon - Lmao. I am in much worse shape now than I was when I wrote this post, and even at that time I could probably do like 7 miles if I really pushed myself. How sad.

- Gone hiking outside of texas - This is weird because I’d literally already done this when I wrote this post. But I’ve done it more since then, so hey!

- Been out of the country with a friend - This I had also already done. I guess the point is to have done it without “adult supervision” or whatever. I haven’t done this since writing this list so I guess I have to leave it uncrossed.

10 years:

- Lived with a girl for an extended period of time - Meesh 🥰

- Spent at least 6 months living on the road in an RV, preferably with a dog and a girl - God, I am so close to being able to do this. I don’t want it to be an RV anymore - those things are expensive. But a van? Still pricey, but doable, especially if I’m willing to sacrifice some comfort. This has actually been front-of-mind for a while. I’ll let you know when I get the balls to pull the trigger.

- Started making Real Money - Well, yep, I have gotten to that point. I do have other thoughts on this, though. Money is weird, man.

- Lived in a long-term living space outside of Texas (i.e. not including RV time) - How long is long-term? Three months? If so, I’ve done this by living in Boston with Meesh for a few months after she went there for law school. However, I anticipate staying there much longer in the near future, so I’ll wait on this crossing this one off.

- Written a book about something, idk - Not yet. I’m halfway to the deadline on this one and I have some ideas, but ideas aren’t worth all that much, especially to me, who rarely sees them through. We’ll see where this goes. It’s not exactly a priority and historically I struggle to get even my priorities done. It might make more sense to replace this with recording a concept or narrative album, for which I also have ideas that I happen to take more seriously.

- Learned to solve a 6x6 Rubik’s Cube - nope

- Gotten laid by solving a 6x6 Rubik’s Cube - nope

- Lived in an apartment where I pay all the rent - Yes! :-))) We love independence

- Earned an advanced degree (this one’s iffy) - This hasn’t happened, and whether it will ever happen is something I’ve been thinking a lot about. I sort of decided half-way through college that I would be totally burned out on school by the time I graduated. But in retrospect it takes way less time to burn out on work than it does to burn out on school, and grad degrees are a different kind of thing. So it’s worth revisiting.’

- Given a best man speech (Sam, this means you have to get married within the next 10 years. Good luck out there.) - Holy shit, Sam, you maniac, you actually did it! Sam got married back in 2019 and I gave his best man speech! It’s another one of my favorite memories :-)

- Gone on a cruise with someone I’m dating - Hmm, not yet. I’ve gone on cool trips, but none on a boat. Maybe that’s something to aim for after the pandemic passes :-)

Retrospective:

1yr: Completed: 5/9

More than half isn’t bad! I’m not gonna worry too much about whether I got these things done within their assigned “time-frame”. I’m a procrastinator in my heart and I don’t see any reason to put that kind of pressure on myself. The point is, they got done. That’s enough for me.

The things I did best in in this category were academic things, and things to do with relationships. I’m proud of the academic achievements, I really feel like doing them has increased my belief in myself and my sense that I’m good at the thing I’ve spent the last four years studying. And of course, I am so happy to be in a loving, fulfilling relationship that brings so many good things into my life. I almost feel like the things I accomplished sort of fell into my lap - of course I’m gonna do programming stuff as a programming student, and getting pets / going on road trips are things I did as a result of my relationship with Meesh. I don’t say that to downplay the accomplishments, but I do think it’s worth noting.

The things I haven’t done are more to do with personal development, which is disappointing. I would like to be able to say, 5 years down the road, that I’ve done the personal development I expected to do in just a single year, but maybe that’s a lot to expect. These are problems I’ve dealt with my whole life. I think what this means is that I can’t expect everything to fall into my lap. Those things are going to take real concerted effort to change. I’m not quite sure how to go about that, though.

2yrs: Completed: 4/6

Two-thirds! Even better!

Lots of these are one-time accomplishments, not so much long-term commitments to personal development. The good news is, I did them, and I think those resulted in some development in their own right :-)

Again, though, the things I didn’t do so well are the things that require long-term, concerted effort. For instance, while I crossed off the one about experimenting with music, it’s really only the initial investment that I’ve really done at this point. It remains to be seen whether I’ll be able to follow through on the commitment to actually experiment and learn.

3yrs: Completed: 4/10

This category also follows the same pattern I’ve noticed with the last two. The other thing I’m noticing is that so, so much of my effort over the past few years has been going towards developing a very particular skill: programming / computer science. Music and art are so important to me, but I’ve done very little real development in those areas. I mean, I’ve done some. But not as much as I would have hoped for half a decade.

5yrs: Completed: 4/10

This is getting a little more fun because less of my goals have to do explicitly with my degree. I’m starting to think beyond college, which is good, because the stage of life I’m in right now requires me to start thinking about the kind of life I want to build now that I’m done with school. Also, I’m at the deadline for this one right now! So this is a particularly interesting category because it really shows where I thought I’d be by this time.

The goals I accomplished in this timeframe are, again, mostly things I’ve done through my relationship, but politics also feature pretty prominently on this part of the list. I spent a lot of time reading and researching political issues during college and really did look for ways to participate. I honestly made politics a pretty big part of my identity over the last 5 years, and I think it will stay that way forever, but I’ve gotten to the point where I think I need to devote less of my mental energy to knowing more. I know what I need to know. It’s time to think about other things.

10yrs: Completed: 4/11 (and counting!)

There’s some career stuff in this section that I’ve been able to do, which is good news. I’ve always been scared about entering the working world. All things told, it’s gone more smoothly than it could have. But I also have lots of lingering doubts about what I want to do in the long term. So one of the most pressing goals I should aim for is to resolve those doubts.

Ultimately, I have a lot of time left, and I’m not even done with this time frame, so I’m not gonna spend much time dissecting the things I haven’t done. What I’ll do instead is say that while I didn’t do everything on this list, I feel proud of the things I have accomplished. I said when I first wrote this list that it’s sometimes hard for me to feel that my life is moving in any particular direction, and I’m still feeling like that five years later, to be honest. But looking back on these things has helped me see that I actually am making progress in my life. Not in all the ways I want to, but that’s OK. There’s still time.

In the next couple days I want to come back to this and reorganize this list into an updated set of goals, for the same time frames. Maybe that will help me think through exactly what it is I want out of the next five-ten years, with the benefit of having analyzed the things that I did and didn’t do well over the previous five.

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silverlightqueen · 5 years

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The Other Half - Part 2

badboy!Jimin x richgirl!reader ft. bts, nct 127, twice, red velvet, got7, blackpink and exo

Word Count: 15.1k+

THIS STARTS WHERE PART ONE FINISHED SO GO REFRESH YOURSELF ON HOW IT ENDS !!!

Summary - In Winchester, y/n has it all. Gorgeous and glamorous. A friendship group just as gorgeous and glamorous. Fantastic grades. A handsome boyfriend with a family just as successful as hers. A doting dad and a brother just as beautiful as she is. An amazing school, and an even more amazing house. As many cars and clothes and bags and shoes, and as much makeup and money she could ever ask for. But when Winchester Academy puts on an exchange programme with Burnley Tech School, a high school in an underprivileged area, two completely different worlds collide, and y/n has her hands full, practically overflowing, dealing with her exchange partner, bad boy Jimin with a whole lot of baggage…

DISCLAIMER - I do not know some of these idols very well and so the portrayal of their personalities and behaviour are not 100% accurate. They are also dramatised and changed for the purpose of this story. Please do not consider my portrayal of these idols as my opinions on them.

Warnings - TRIGGERING CONTENT !! talk of weight and dieting, toxic relationship, bad language, classism, discussion of rape, I guess kind of abuse within a relationship, discussion of death, discussion of sex, I think that’s it

a/n: part two is finally here ! lmk what y’all think and hmu if you wanna be on the taglist ! you can also ask my muse if you’d like !!

au masterlist

silverlightqueen masterlist

taglist💕: @sakurauchiha2018 @jesuislalune @haileykurayami @mayumioutloud @jiminsreads @rjsmochii @generousrunawaylove @jennafromhome @locharnathebanana @pjmcth @silverlightprincess

When we re-join the group outside, they all stare at us amusedly. ‘You both left your bags. Oh, and your exchange partners,’ Dahyun says sarcastically, and I flip her off. ‘They aren’t little kids, they can look after themselves,’ Taeyong says as he goes to sit between Seulgi and Irene. ‘Sorry, Jimin,’ I say, perching on the arm of the bench he sits on. ‘It’s alright. Where did you go?’ he asks with a small grin, already knowing the answer. ‘He just wanted to talk to me about something,’ I reply, and his grin widens as he nods. ‘Hmm, okay. I’m surprised, princess. Wouldn’t have taken you for the type of girl to suck dick, especially not at school,’ he says under his breath, his crude language making me choke on air. ‘Because I’m not,’ I reply, and he nods indulgently. ‘Tell that to the marks on your knees,’ he says and, sure enough, my knees slightly scuffed and sore. I opt to not say anything, feeling heat rush to my face, and Jimin only smiles wider, immensely amused at the entire thing. At least one of us is.

‘What do you think, y/n?’ Chaeyoung asks, and my attention is turned back to the group. ‘What’s this?’ I ask, pulling my skirt over my knees, Taeyong watching me do so with a cocky smirk. ‘I was thinking we should go on a night out this weekend, all of us, just to break the ice a bit, you know? We could invite Jen, Lisa, Rosie, Jisoo, Jinyoung and Chanyeol and their partners as well?’ Chaeyoung suggests, and I nod. ‘That sounds like a good idea. But if we definitely are, let me know far in advance. I’ll need to get an outfit,’ I say, the other girls nodding in agreement. ‘What kind of things do you guys wear on a night out? Where do you shop?’ Wendy asks, and we all exchange a look. ‘We don’t, um, really go shopping for a night out. We get our outfits made to make sure no one will be wearing the same as us. But we could all go shopping together, if you want?’ Mina says, the BTS students looking at us wide-eyed. ‘Wait, so every time you need a new outfit, you get someone in to make it?’ Jungkook asks. ‘Not every time. Usually just for a night out,’ Tzuyu says, almost sheepishly. ‘Wow, you guys are rich rich, huh?’ Xiumin says, all of us laughing.

‘Right, is everyone free on Saturday night?’ Chaeyoung asks, looking down at her phone as she taps away. We all give various forms of confirmations. ‘Good. I’m making a new group chat with all of us in it now. And none of you put it on mute, because we have to make sure no one misses out on any plans,’ she says. We all exchanged numbers and social medias earlier, so this group chat is gonna have all of the Winchester and BTS students in it. I wonder if it’ll die straight after the night out or actually last like our Winchester one has. I can’t remember the last time a day went by without someone sending something to the group chat. ‘Okay, I’ll send the restaurant, the bar and the club into the group chat then. And I get to choose because I’m the one who suggested it,’ Chaeyoung says, the boys groaning. We have different tastes in establishments, you could say. The boys say we choose boring places, but we just prefer to go somewhere classy. ‘Wait, you guys go to a restaurant, bar and club? Isn’t that really… never mind,’ Jin says, trailing off, and Sana prompts him to continue, ‘go on. What were you gonna say?’ ‘I was gonna ask if it was really expensive, but obviously, it doesn’t matter about the expense,’ he says.

‘Wait, so what do you guys do for a night out?’ Jihyo asks. ‘We usually have pre-drinks at a pub or someone’s house and then go straight to a club at, like, 11, or we have a party and then go out afterwards,’ Yoongi says. ‘Well, we could do that if you guys would prefer it,’ Mark says, and my heart melts at the way the boys seem to be trying to make the exchange students feel comfortable. I had been worried about the boys being insensitive, but obviously my concerns were unnecessary. ‘No, no, we wanna do a night out the way you guys do. We’re here to live like you do, right?’ the other Mark says, Nayeon grinning widely. ‘Trust me, you’ll all love our nights out. And Mark, I’ll get the tailor in tomorrow and we’ll get you a new outfit made too. You know, if you wanna live like we do,’ she says, her and her partner sharing a grin. ‘That sounds good, yeah,’ he says, Johnny watching the exchange with an unreadable expression. ‘Jae, what nights are you home this week? I’ll message Chaerin now,’ I say, referring to our stylist. ‘Um, we’re at home on Wednesday. We’re busy the other nights,’ Jaehyun replies. ‘We?’ I ask, my brother looking slightly sheepish. ‘Oh, well, we’ve got football on Tuesday and Friday, and the BTS boys are coming too. And then Thursday, I’m taking Jimin and Jungkook to the golf club with a few of the others,’ he says. ‘When was this decided?’ I ask, slightly annoyed that he’s making plans with my exchange partner without consulting me. ‘When you and Taeyong disappeared for your chat,’ Jaehyun says drily, and I have the grace to look slightly embarrassed.

‘Well, whatever. I’ll be crashing your trip to the golf club; you know I love it there. Oh, and father goes away on Friday morning, so that means I’ll have the house to myself on Friday night. Shall we have a girls’ night? Ooh, we could all get manicures, pedicures, facials and massages!’ I say, getting excited. I want more than anything to spoil the BTS kids while they’re here, knowing we’re privileged to be able to do what we do and wanting them to live that lifestyle, even if only for a while. ‘That sounds fun, but I don’t know if we’ll be able to afford that and the night out on Saturday,’ Joy says, almost sheepishly. ‘No, no, you don’t have to pay, for either. I’ll just hire the people for the night, and we’ll pay for Saturday. Don’t worry about it,’ I say. ‘No, I feel bad about you guys paying for everything,’ Namjoon says, and we all give protests.

‘At the end of the day, the fact is that our parents are loaded. This money has to go somewhere because it can’t go to the grave with us. We may as well spend it where we can, and there’s no point you guys wasting your money on something that our parents could fund with no trouble,’ Taeil says, carefully and tactfully, avoiding any words that might offend one of the BTS students. ‘Well, I guess when you put it like that,’ Taehyung says with a cheeky smile, all of us laughing. ‘I’ll make another group chat, just for the girls’, so we can plan this girls’ night,’ I say, the BTS girls smiling at me. ‘That’s not fair,’ Jungkook complains, ‘I wanna be on the girls’ group chat.’ ‘Why?’ Yeri asks. ‘This girls’ night sounds fun,’ he says, ‘I wanna come.’ ‘Well, we’re going to football, remember?’ Jaehyun reminds him, and he nods. When Jaehyun looks away, Jungkook makes eye contact with me and mouths the words, ‘help me’. I burst out laughing, everyone looking at me quizzically. ‘Oh, sorry,’ I say as Jungkook grins at me, ‘just thought of something funny.’

‘And then she said that I was too…’ Jaehyun trails off when he sees me approaching and I raise an eyebrow at him, an amused smile on my face. ‘Don’t let me interrupt you,’ I say, the other boys around him all laughing. ‘No, I’ll finish my story once you’re gone,’ he says, and I roll my eyes. ‘Whatever. I just came to ask if you were ready to go, Jimin,’ I say, the boy nodding and rising up from the bench. ‘What’s the rush? Let him stay a while, we’re getting to know each other,’ Taeyong says with a smile. ‘I would, but I’ve made plans for us. Surprise plans,’ I say when they all shoot me questioning looks. ‘Okay, well, have fun,’ Taeyong says, grinning as he taps his cheek. I press a gentle kiss to his soft skin, the boy not as tense as he was earlier, before he staked his claim on me in front of all the new kids. ‘Come on, Jimin. See you tomorrow, guys,’ I say. ‘See you,’ Jimin says, the rest of the group bidding us goodbye. ‘We’ll be home soon,’ Jaehyun says about him and Jungkook, and I nod. ‘Alright,’ I say, leading Jimin away and towards where the girls wait for us.

‘Jimin, I love this colour on you. I’ve been thinking of getting purple done soon,’ Dahyun says as we walk to the car park. ‘Thanks. I used a box dye,’ he says, all of us looking at him in surprise. ‘And it turned out that good?’ Sana asks. ‘Yeah, it took a couple boxes to get the right colour, but this is the end result,’ he says. ‘I always get it done by a stylist, but maybe I’ll have to try box dye next,’ Dahyun says, Jimin grinning. ‘It’s the way forward,’ he says. ‘You’ll have to let me know which brand you use,’ Dahyun says, Jimin nodding. ‘Yeah, of course, I’ll text it you later,’ he says as we reach the car park. I bid all the girls goodbye and Jimin and I get into the car, both of us throwing our bags into the back. I put the RnB playlist on again and pull out of the car park as quickly as I can, not wanting to get stuck behind the other girls. ‘How come the boys stay after school?’ Jimin asks, and I shrug. ‘I don’t really know. They treat it like a social club. They don’t usually head home ‘til an hour after school’s finished. Why they want to stay at school even longer, I don’t know,’ I say, Jimin nodding in agreement.

‘I don’t know if I should tell you this, but I don’t owe the guy any loyalty so I will, because I have a sense of decency,’ Jimin says, and I look over at him, intrigued. ‘Taeyong was talking about you, a little while before you came over. He was being a bit… vulgar,’ Jimin says, the word sounding unnatural from his mouth. ‘What do you mean?’ I ask. ‘He was, like, talking about what happened when you two disappeared, and he was speaking about you like you were an object, not his girlfriend, or whatever it is you are to him,’ he says, and I don’t say anything. ‘Obviously, I get that I’m a newcomer, so I don’t know what your guys’ relationship is like, but I know that if I heard any guy back home talking about his girl the way Taeyong was just talking about you, I’d throw hands,’ he says. I’ve never heard the expression ‘throw hands’ but I’m pretty sure I can infer. ‘Truth be told, I’m not surprised. The culture here is different. We might be a lot more modernised in some senses, but we’re also a lot more old-fashioned. Boys always talk about their girls like that; it’s standard. I appreciate you letting me know, but it’s nothing out of the norm,’ I say, Jimin raising an eyebrow at me. ‘Seriously? You don’t have an issue with him degrading you?’ Jimin asks. ‘I do, Jimin, but it doesn’t work like that. It doesn’t matter if I have an issue with it or not. I can’t pull him up on it, because he’ll get angry, and if he gets angry, our parents will get involved. It’ll cause tensions in our relationship, and we’ll end up getting married when we don’t get along. If I just leave it, then we stay in this honeymoon period forever,’ I say, and Jimin scoffs. ‘You should be able to pull him up on it, and he’d change his ways if he loved you,’ Jimin says, the subliminal message in his words obvious; ‘he doesn’t love you’. ‘Well, thank you for your concern, Jimin, but you’re new here, so you don’t get how it works, and I’d appreciate it if you kept your nose out of it,’ I say, my voice tense, and he lets out a humourless laugh. ‘Whatever,’ he says, both of us falling silent as I pull up to a Starbucks.

‘What drink do you get?’ I ask. ‘I don’t have any money on me,’ he says. ‘That’s not what I asked,’ I reply. ‘A caramel frappe,’ he says. ‘Cream or coffee?’ I ask. ‘Cream,’ he replies. ‘With or without whipped cream?’ ‘With.’ I pull up to the drive-through and wait for the worker to ask me for my order, leaning out of the window slightly. ‘Can I get two grande caramel frapps, one cream based with whipped cream and the other skinny, coffee based with almond milk, no whipped cream and only two pumps of caramel,’ I say, and when the barista’s finished taking my order, I drive towards the first window. ‘God, it’s like the ‘popular American high school girl’ is based on you,’ he says lightly, obviously trying to clear the air, and I laugh in response. ‘They wish they were me,’ I reply, getting a laugh from him in return. ‘Listen, y/n, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have pried like that, and I’ll keep my nose out of your business,’ he says. ‘No, it’s okay, I understand where you were coming from. It’s just that-’ I begin to say, but the barista holds the card machine out and I’m distracted. I quickly grab my bag from the back, pulling out my purse and getting out my card. I hold it to the card machine and pull it away when it beeps. ‘Thank you,’ I say with a smile, the barista giving me a big smile in return.

I drive up to the next window, feeling Jimin’s eyes on me. ‘What?’ I ask. ‘Was that… is that a black card?’ he asks, and I hold up my card. ‘This? Yeah, it’s connected to my dad’s bank account,’ I say. ‘What does your dad do?’ he asks incredulously. ‘He, um, owns his own law firm,’ I say. ‘That’s so cool. I wanted to be a lawyer,’ he says, and I smile at him. ‘I could see you as a lawyer. Why not anymore?’ I ask. ‘You have to go to uni to be a lawyer, and I can’t exactly… afford it. And I gotta take over the bakery and stuff so… it’s whatever,’ he says, and my heart breaks. ‘That sucks, Jimin, I’m really sorry. If it makes it any better, I wanted to be a lawyer too, but I… I’m not really allowed,’ I say. ‘What do you mean?’ he asks. ‘Taeyong will be the one who goes out and gets a job, probably in law, and earns, and I’ll be at home, looking after the house and kids,’ I say, just before the barista leans out of the window, handing us a small paper bag along with our drinks. I hand Jimin his drink before peering into the bag, seeing a caramel shortcake and a number scrawled onto the packaging of it. I roll my eyes, offering him the bag, and he takes it. ‘Don’t you want it?’ he asks, and I shake my head. ‘Diet,’ I reply. ‘I meant the phone number, princess,’ he says, and I laugh. ‘No. A) I have a man – remember? – and B) it’s only because they saw the black card. Guaranteed,’ I say, putting my drink into the cup holder and driving off. ‘Do you always get free stuff?’ he asks. ‘Yeah, and it doesn’t make sense to me. Why give rich people stuff for free?’ I say, heading out of the Starbucks and onto the road.

‘Can we rewind just a bit? Did you say that you have to be a housewife while Taeyong earns?’ he asks, and I nod. ‘That’s the way it works around here,’ I say, and Jimin shakes his head. ‘That’s ridiculous,’ he says, and I shrug. ‘It’s also the reason why I can’t pull Taeyong up on anything. If he decides he doesn’t want to marry me, I’ll be screwed because it’s unlikely I’ll be able to get a job and provide for myself. That’s why I have to keep him sweet and pander to his every whim,’ I say, and Jimin shakes his head. ‘Why don’t you just be independent? Your dad seems supportive; he’d support you, emotionally and financially, if you went to uni after school, right? You should just live by yourself and become a lawyer,’ he says, and I smile sadly. ‘I’d become a social outcast, and I thrive on social interaction. Trust me, Jimin, I’ve thought of every possibility but what I’m doing now is what’s best for me. I’ll be Mrs Lee Taeyong for the rest of my life if it means I can be financially secure and safe and… content,’ I say, and Jimin sighs. ‘I might have it tough, but I guess you do too. I’m sorry you’re in this situation, y/n,’ he says. ‘Don’t be silly, my problems are nothing compared to yours. You can’t even go to uni to follow your dreams,’ I say, and Jimin laughs. ‘Not like you can either though,’ he says, and I shrug. ‘C'est la vie, mon ami,’ I reply, and he raises an eyebrow. ‘That’s life, my love,’ I translate, and he nods in understanding.

He opens his mouth to speak but before he can, a phone starts ringing. ‘Is that your phone?’ he asks, and I shake my head. ‘My phone’s connected to the car, so it would ring through the speakers,’ I say. ‘Well, it’s not mine,’ he says, holding his up in his hand, and I frown. ‘Have I picked up Tae’s or something by accident?’ I think aloud. ‘Oh, my God!’ Jimin suddenly exclaims, unintelligibly muttering to himself as he reaches into the back and grabs his bag, the ringing coming from inside it. He pulls out the phone, an old iPhone from years ago, and rejects the call, putting it away. ‘Who’s is that?’ I ask. ‘It’s, um… it’s mine,’ he says, and I give him a confused look. ‘You have… two phones?’ I ask, and he nods. ‘This one’s my main phone, and the other one… it’s my old one; it has all my pictures on it,’ he says, and I give him a confused look. ‘So who was calling it?’ I ask, and he shrugs. ‘Probably just a call centre,’ he says, and I nod. I’m still confused, and I don’t quite believe him, but I won’t pry. I don’t understand why he’d have another phone and I can’t come up with another reasonable explanation other than his pictures, so I leave the matter.

‘What were you gonna say?’ I ask. ‘I was gonna say that I don’t agree with things like that. ‘That’s life’ and ‘life’s not fair’. I see life as being what you make it. I know I can’t achieve what I want to, but there’s no point being bitter about it. So I make life better for myself, try to have a positive outlook on the life that I will have to lead. One day, I’ll get married and have kids and run the bakery. Yes, that’s a simple life, but I’ll be… what’s the word you used again? Um… content. Not exactly happy, but content,’ he says, and I nod. ‘And I guess I’m the same. I am positive about my future. Me and Taeyong may have our issues, but I still love him, and he loves me. We’ll move in to a beautiful house together when we finish school, probably get married while he’s still at university or law school or whatever and have an amazing wedding, and then we’ll have kids and I’ll be the ‘lady of the house’ while he goes out and earns. Don’t you think there’s something fun about your life being a permanent weekend? I’ll take the kids out all the time, have the girls and their kids over, or all go out on day trips together, and then have date nights or family nights when Tae gets home. Again, it’s a simple life, but I’ll be content,’ I say, and he smiles. ‘You’re right. Our lives will be simple but we’ll both be content,’ he says, and I smile back at him as we pull up to the house.

As I pull up on the driveway, Changwoo appears to put the car away. We both climb out, drinks in hand, and Changwoo takes the keys from me. ‘Good day at school, miss, sir?’ he asks us both. ‘Yeah, it was good, thank you,’ Jimin replies, seemingly surprised at being called sir. ‘Amazing, Changwoo. I got my English results back from that test last week; I got an A!’ I exclaim, and Changwoo grins. ‘As expected from someone as smart as yourself, miss. Well done,’ he says. ‘Thank you. How was your day, Changwoo?’ I ask. ‘Great, thank you, miss. Your father had to make a few trips, so I got to drive him around in the Bentley,’ he says, and I grin. ‘You do love the Bentley. Is father home now?’ I ask, and he shakes his head. ‘He’s at the firm, miss, there was some sort of emergency. I expect it’ll be another late night,’ he says, and I sigh. ‘As usual. Well, thank you, anyway. I’ll see you later, Changwoo,’ I say, the man bowing his head before Jimin and I head up to the house. ‘You’ve got a good relationship with your staff, huh?’ he asks as I push open the double doors, and I nod. ‘They basically raised me,’ I begin, but get distracted with the new flower display in the foyer.

‘Oh, my God, they brought in white orchids this week!’ I exclaim, deeply inhaling the floral scent. ‘New flowers every week?’ Jimin asks with a raised eyebrow, and I nod sheepishly. ‘I get them ordered in,’ I say, and he pulls a fake shocked face. ‘No way! I’d have thought Jaehyun was the one who has them ordered in if you hadn’t cleared that up,’ he says, and I stick my tongue out at him, walking over to the centre table where a display sits proudly. ‘I love flowers. Mum does as well. Well, she did. She took me, every week, to the flower shop to pick out a new arrangement. After she died, I used to carry on the tradition and pick out new flowers, but I started to get too busy, so I got the staff to order it in. Mum always smells like flowers too. And then the whole house smelled like flowers when she died. I like to think her spirit spread out into the house and she still wanders here, making the place smell like flowers,’ I say, talking without even thinking, and then look over at Jimin embarrassedly. ‘Obviously, I know it’s not really her spirit-’ ‘No, don’t. I think that’s really nice. And you’re right. If her spirit is gonna be anywhere, it’d be here. In the house she lived in with her husband, her son and her daughter who still fills the house up with flowers for her. Of course she’s here,’ he says softly, and I tear up. ‘I never thought of it like that,’ I say, and he smiles at me gently. ‘Well, there you go. She stays here because you make it smell like flowers, and you fill it up with flowers because it smells like her. It’s beautiful,’ he says, and I nod, agreeing. A tear spills out onto my cheek and, seemingly on reflex, he lifts his hand to wipe it away, my eyes locked with his chocolate brown ones. Almost as though his mind catches up with his actions, he jerks his hand away from my face suddenly, both of us flinching, and he looks away from me.

‘Anyway,’ I say, looking away from him, ‘let’s go get changed and then I’ll give you a tour of the place.’ We head up the staircase, and head towards where our rooms are. ‘I’m gonna just change into my comfies, you do the same if you want? Just knock on my door when you’re done,’ I say, and he nods, heading into his room. I practically run into my room, knowing he’ll end up getting changed so much quicker than I will. I strip off my uniform, going into my wardrobe and looking for what to wear. I decide on a pair of black cycling shorts (they’re my guilty pleasure; I’d never wear them in public – where a gossip magazine can take a picture of me – or around my judgy friends, but I practically live in them when I’m at home) and a black Balenciaga t-shirt that I tie into a knot, exposing a little strip of my stomach. I worked hard for this body, might as well show it off, you know? Jimin knocks at the door then, and I go to open it. He’s dressed in his Puma sweatpants again, this time with a black Nike hoodie, and he’s wearing white Nike socks on his feet (thankfully a little strip of his leg is visible as he hasn’t pulled them up; it’s literally a crime if people pull up their socks underneath sweatpants). ‘I’ve just gotta put socks on, come in for a second,’ I say, moving to the side. He looks around at my room, and I know what he’s thinking, slightly embarrassed. My room is ridiculously lavish; grey, white, black and pink, (faux) fur and velvet everywhere, a walk-in wardrobe that’s bursting at the seams with clothes, makeup spilling out of the drawers of my vanity with its light-up mirror. I go into my wardrobe, looking for my favourite black fluffy socks, custom designed by Rob Kardashian for my 18th birthday.

When I finally find them and go back into my room, Jimin’s stood at the wall that’s covered edge to edge with photos. Me with my friends, various celebrities I’ve met over the years, my family, our staff, Taeyong, dad, Jaehyun, mum. At parties, nights out, nights in, school, the golf club, the beach, the shopping centre, on birthdays and anniversaries and Christmas and Halloween and New Years and Valentine’s Day. I see Jimin lift up a hand, and expect him to point out the picture of me with the Kardashian children, Anna Wintour maybe, or Sasha Obama, possibly with Oprah, or the one with Kris Jenner. But he points at my favourite one on the wall. The picture that was taken a few days before mum died; we were just having a family day in. Dad was behind the camera and we were sat on the sofa with mum, seven-year-old Jaehyun and I on either side of her. We’re all smiling widely at the camera, all of us in matching Christmas pyjamas, something I remember Jaehyun not being too happy about. I remember everything from inside that picture, the way mum smelt, the way we’d had to beg Jaehyun to wear the pyjamas, the way dad had taken so many photos to get one without someone’s eyes closed or one that wasn’t blurry, the way mum had gripped onto Jaehyun and I so hard, as though she was desperate not to let us go.

‘That’s your mum?’ he asks, and I nod. ‘You look like her. A lot, actually. She’s a beautiful woman,’ he says, and I smile at him. ‘Thank you. She is beautiful, isn’t she? Or she was, anyway,’ I say. ‘No, talk about her in the present tense. She’s still here. As long as you and your brother and your dad live, she lives on with you. And I’m sure your kids will know about her, right? So she’ll live on through them too. As long as you remember someone, you never really lose them. They’re never really dead,’ he says, and again, my eyes have teared up at how touching his words are. I turn to look at him, but he doesn’t look back at me, eyes still fixed on the photo. ‘Have you ever lost anyone?’ I ask him, and he sighs, still not looking at me. ‘I… I nearly lost my mum. She had cancer, and it wasn’t terminal, but it did nearly kill her. I really thought I lost her. I used to be… not a bad son, but not a great one either. I was never really grateful for my parents and everything they did for me, I hated having to work in the bakery, I hated having to look after my brother, and I used to get in a lot of trouble. At school, and outside of school. Now, not a day goes by that I don’t tell mum I love her, that I don’t tell my dad and my brother the same too. I changed my life. I worked at the bakery all the time and I started to love it, because I could spend time with my parents. I loved looking after my brother, because it wasn’t long until we were spending time together rather than me looking after him; we were, like, best friends. I get in trouble a lot less, but old habits die hard, so I can’t help but get in a little trouble from time to time. But after nearly losing her, it put everything into perspective. You realise there’s more to life, you know? I remember saying to my dad that I was scared of losing her and – this was when we thought she was definitely going to die – he said to me what I said to you; as long as you remember someone, you never really lose them,’ he says, and without even thinking about it, I clasp one of his hands in mine. It’s warm and soft, and his fingers curl around mine in response, my heart jumping slightly.

‘I’m sorry that you had to go through that; I hope I can meet your mum one day,’ I say, and he finally turns to look at me, a small smile on his face and a tear in his eye, threatening to spill down his cheek. ‘I hope so too. And I’m sorry your mum died. I just know she’s an amazing person, and it would’ve been nice to meet her,’ he says, and I grin. ‘She is an amazing person. I’ll tell you all about her. But another time. Let me show you around the house,’ I say, and he nods with a smile. ‘Let’s do it.’

I let go of his hand and pick up my phone from the bed, both of us heading out of my room. ‘Okay, we’ll go this way,’ I say, leading him down the corridor, away from the staircase. I show him the home cinema, the music room (that nobody uses and is pretty much there for decoration), and my other wardrobe where the rest of my clothes and accessories are (this one’s two stories and about the size of an Olympic swimming pool). Then I take him downstairs and show him where the staff quarters are, before I show him the games room, the indoor pool, the library (one of my favourite rooms in the house) and the panic room. Then I take him outside, behind the house, and show him the outdoor pool, the football pitch, the basketball court, the tennis courts, the golf course, the greenhouse and the patio where I host garden parties during the summer. Then I bring him back inside and show him the three living rooms, the ballroom, the dining room and the various bathrooms around our house. ‘There we go. That is our house,’ I say as we reach the foyer, stopping by the table where the bouquet of flowers sits. ‘It’s amazing. I mean, who even has a ballroom?’ he asks, and I wince. ‘Honestly, I don’t know. I don’t think we’ve ever actually used it for its purpose. Maybe I should throw a big ball one day. On your guys’ last day!’ I exclaim, and Jimin laughs. ‘I’m not sure if we’re the right crowd for you to host a ball in honour of us,’ he says, and I frown. ‘Balls are for everyone, regardless of where they’re from, and how wealthy their parents are,’ I say pointedly, and he grins. ‘If you say so,’ he says, and I shake my head. ‘Okay, so what’s this big surprise you have planned?’ he asks, and I grin. ‘It’s not really that big of a deal, so don’t get your hopes up, okay?’ I say, and he nods. ‘Come on, then,’ I say, gently holding onto his wrist and leading him through into the kitchen. It’s been set up for us by Eunha, different ingredients and apparatus practically covering the island, and Jimin’s eyes widen.

‘What’s all this for?’ he asks, and I grin, picking up the two aprons sat on the counter, throwing one to him. ‘You are going to teach me how to bake something, because you have baking experience,’ I say, and he smiles at me, both of us putting our aprons on. I try to tie mine myself and he laughs. ‘Let me do it, princess,’ he says, and I turn to face away from him. I feel him take the straps into his hands and knot them, pulling them tight, before he skilfully ties it into a bow, his fingers gently grazing the strip of my exposed back, and I try not to shudder as a little shock runs through me. ‘Tight enough?’ he asks, and I nod, turning back to face him. ‘Shall I do yours?’ I ask, and he nods, turning away from me. I tie it for him and then he turns back to face me, grinning. ‘What shall we bake?’ he asks, and I shrug. ‘You tell me, baker boy, you’re the expert here. What’s your bakery’s speciality?’ I ask him, and he thinks for a moment. ‘Um, the hotteok is pretty popular. And the bungeoppang,’ he says, and I nod. ‘Shall we make both? They won’t take too long, right?’ I ask, and he nods. ‘It should take like an hour max,’ he says, and I smile. ‘Perfect! Let’s get baking!’

We start by Jimin picking out the ingredients and kitchenware we need, moving everything else to the side and out of our way, whilst I choose a playlist, ultimately settling on a hip-hop and RnB one. Then we begin making separate doughs for the hotteok, Jimin talking me through step-by-step. His seems to look better than mine, which I’m slightly jealous about, but I guess the years of experience he has have paid off, making him a great baker. We then put it to ‘ferment’ (which sounds gross but apparently, it’s just means that it’ll double in size – who knew?) and start on the bungeoppang. We mix the batter and then pour it into the mould. Jimin says to make some with the usual red bean paste, and some with Nutella because they taste really nice, so we do so, working as a team; he pours in the batter, I put the filling, and then he puts the rest of the batter onto the top, our method quite successful. Our bungeoppang turns out really well, and we set them to cool before getting out the ‘fermented’ hotteok dough. We split up the dough into pancake sized pieces before cooking them in a pan until they’re golden brown. We set those to cool too, the final results looking amazing, and the room smells great too.

Jimin sighs contentedly, and I look at him as he leans against the counter. ‘You’ve got flour on your nose. And cheek. And forehead,’ he says amusedly, reaching over to brush it off. ‘Thanks,’ I say, laughing, once he’s done, and he smiles. ‘It’s fine. My mum’s the same; whenever she bakes, more of the ingredients end up on her than they do in the food,’ he says, a wistful smile on his face, and my heart goes out to him; he must miss his mum, his family, his home a lot. He takes a deep breath in, eyes closed, before slowly breathing out, a soft smile on his face. ‘It smells like home,’ he says gently, and I grin. ‘I thought it might,’ I say, glad that my idea worked, and he looks at me, surprised. ‘Wait… don’t tell me you thought we should bake so that it would smell like my home?’ he says, and I nod. ‘I know you must be missing home already – I know that I would be – so I thought it’d be a nice way to bring your home to you,’ I say shyly, and he smiles a wide, genuine smile, eyes disappearing behind their lids. ‘Thank you, y/n, that’s really thoughtful. I appreciate it a lot,’ he says, and I smile, feeling blood rushing to my cheeks. ‘It’s the least I could do. And anyway, your surprise isn’t over yet. I’ve got something else planned… but I wanna try these first,’ I say, looking over at our baking, and he laughs.

‘We’ll wait a little while then, yeah?’ he suggests, and I nod, watching as he takes a seat at the breakfast bar. ‘You want something to drink?’ I ask him, and he nods. ‘Just water, please,’ he says, and I nod, getting out two glasses and filling them up with water from the fridge. I hand him one of the glasses, getting a straw out for myself, and offer him one. He shakes his head amusedly as I sip from my water with the straw, not wanting to ruin my lipstick. We both go on our phones for a little while, scrolling through social media, and then a message from Chaeyoung comes through on a new group chat. ‘Ooh, she made it,’ I say, both of us opening the message straight away. It’s a long message, including the bookings she’s made for the restaurant, bar and club, and what times the bookings are for, bullet points and all. She’s booked an Italian restaurant called Bella Vita for 8 until 10, then a bar that I love called Midnight Violet (they serve all these really cool drinks – some of them are on fire, or have smoke coming out of them, or they’re glow-in-the-dark) from 10.15 until 11.30, and then a booth in the RnB room at our favourite club, Nova, from 12 until closing time, 5.

‘We’re gonna be out from 8 ‘til 5?’ Jimin asks, and I nod with a grin. ‘That’s nothing. Sometimes we go for a night out a little further away, about forty minutes from here, and there’s club there called Sunrise that opens at 4am and closes at 10am. Sometimes we’ll go there after the first club and stay out ‘til the late hours of the morning,’ I say, and his mouth drops open. ‘Wow, you guys really are… hardcore,’ he says, and I nod. ‘You don’t know the half of it. But it’ll be a great night out. Nova’s a really good club too; there’s loads of different rooms for every music taste; there’s a pop one, a RnB one, a hip-hop one, a techno one. You guys will love it, trust me,’ I say, and he grins. ‘Sounds good. But, in Chaeyoung’s… itinerary, she hasn’t put anything about home pre-drinks and post-club-kebabs. Please don’t tell me you guys don’t do either of those things,’ he says, and I bite my lip. ‘Um, we don’t. But we can introduce them! We can do home pre-drinks all together, get taxis to the restaurant, and then stop for kebabs on the way home from the club! Dad’s away this weekend, so I’m sure we could host pre-drinks here. Oh, my God, everyone could stay over at ours for the night!’ I say, starting to get excited. ‘Okay, okay, princess, before you get too excited, why don’t you put it on the group chat and see what everyone says?’ Jimin suggests, just as Jaehyun and Jungkook enter the room.

‘Put what on the group chat?’ Jaehyun asks. ‘Mmm, it smells so good in here. It smells like… like…’ Jungkook says, sniffing the air intently to try and work out why he recognises the smell. ‘Like my house?’ Jimin prompts, and Jungkook takes another sniff before nodding. ‘Yeah, yeah it does. What did you guys bake?’ he asks, spotting the racks covered in tea towels on the other side of the room. ‘Hotteok and bungeoppang,’ Jimin grins, and Jungkook’s mouth falls open. ‘Your mum’s recipe?’ he asks, and Jimin nods. ‘Oh, my God, can I have some? Please, y/n, pretty please?’ he begs me, and I’m taken aback at him asking me. ‘Yeah, of course, they should be cool enough now, right, Jimin?’ I ask, and Jimin nods, Jungkook taking that as a cue to pounce and stuff an entire hotteok in his mouth. ‘Ew,’ I say before I’m able to stop myself, all three of the boys laughing, Jungkook having to hold a hand over his mouth to stop the food from coming out, and I can’t stop myself from laughing with them. We all try some of the food, both the hotteok and bungeoppang, and it tastes amazing. ‘Mmm, this tastes amazing, Jimin,’ I say for the sixth time, and Jimin laughs. ‘You made it too, y/n,’ he says, and I shake my head. ‘It’s your recipe and expertise and so, the credit goes to you,’ I say, and he shakes his head. ‘Both of us,’ he says, and I roll my eyes with an amused smile.

‘Anyway, what were you telling y/n to put on the group chat, Jimin?’ Jaehyun asks. ‘Oh, she had an idea to have everyone sleep over here this weekend after the night out, and she was making all these different plans, and I said to put it on the group chat and see what they all say before getting carried away,’ Jimin explains. ‘She has a habit of that,’ Jaehyun says, and I scowl. ‘No, I don’t.’ ‘You do. But it’s fine. It’s cute. The flowers are nice this week, aren’t they?’ Jaehyun says, changing the subject, and I nod. ‘They smell amazing. I wanna find a perfume like it,’ I say. ‘Get one made. Ooh, that can be your next birthday present from me, so I’ll get it done,’ he says, and I pout. ‘No, birthday presents are supposed to be surprises, Jae, think of something else,’ I say, and he rolls his eyes. ‘Well, whatever. That’s a good idea about having everyone over, you should put it on the group chat. We could use the bigger living room, get loads of mattresses and airbeds put down so we can all sleep in the same room,’ he says, and I nod. ‘Oh, but…’ I begin, but trail off, Jaehyun raising an eyebrow. ‘Me and Mina will be in the living room with everyone else, so you and Taeyong should be too. You know dad doesn’t like it when you two share a room,’ Jaehyun says, and I feel blood rushing to my cheeks again. ‘No, I… well, you’ll have to have that conversation with Taeyong then,’ I sigh, and Jaehyun raises an eyebrow.

‘I have to tell your man that you two can’t share a room?’ Jaehyun says. ‘Jae, you know it’s not that simple,’ I say, not wanting to get into it in front of Jimin and Jungkook. ‘I think it’s pretty simple, y/n, and I also think it’s pretty shitty that you’re scared to tell your man that you’re not gonna have sex with him,’ Jaehyun says. ‘Jae, shut up!’ I exclaim, knowing any of the staff or even our father could walk in at any moment. ‘Well, it’s true! What do you guys think?’ Jaehyun says, turning to Jimin and Jungkook, who both looking slightly awkward and embarrassed. ‘Jaehyun, you know it’s not like that,’ I say before they can answer, and he scoffs. ‘y/n, what I know is that it is exactly like that! You want me to tell him because you’re scared to refuse him, which literally means that he is having non-consensual sex with you, which is rape! But you won’t tell me, and you won’t tell dad, and you won’t tell anyone, because you’re scared of something and I don’t know what it is because you don’t speak to me! I bet you didn’t wanna suck him off at school today, but he was angry at you because of Jimin, and you don’t like it when he’s angry with you, so you did it. I can’t even imagine how many times something like that has happened to you!’ he says. ‘It’s not rape! I’m in a relationship with him!’ I exclaim, tears coming to my eyes, and Jaehyun scoffs. ‘Of course it’s rape. If you didn’t want to have sex but you do anyway, then it’s rape, you moron! But I can’t even say anything to him, because if I do, you’ll stick up for him like always, and I don’t know why! You don’t have to marry him, y/n!’ Jaehyun says. ‘I want to marry him! I love him! You’re making him sound like an abuser, and he’s not!’ I shout, the tears spilling down my cheeks, and Jaehyun laughs humourlessly. ‘When will you understand that I’m not saying this for no reason? I’m saying it because it’s what I see, because I’m worried about you, because you’re my sister and I love you, y/n!’ he shouts back. ‘I know that, but you don’t need to worry,’ I say defeatedly, another tear falling with every blink, and Jaehyun lets out another humourless laugh. ‘I don’t know if you’re just in denial, or completely delusional, but when you realise that what you and Taeyong have is not love and you’re better off without him, I’ll be waiting to help you. But until you realise that, y/n, until you realise that you and me are on the same side, and it’s not the side with him on it, there’s nothing I can do,’ he says, leaving the room without another word.

Jimin hands me a tissue and I take it embarrassedly, blotting away my tears gently. ‘Sorry… about all of that,’ I begin to say, but Jimin and Jungkook both wave it off. ‘It’s fine, don’t apologise. Are you okay?’ Jungkook says, and I nod. ‘I’m fine, I’m fine. Jaehyun’s just being dramatic,’ I say, both of them silent. ‘Do you agree with him?’ I ask them, and Jungkook looks to Jimin, the latter sighing. ‘Well, it depends, y/n. Did you want to do what happened earlier at school, or did you do it because you were scared to say no?’ Jimin asks. ‘He didn’t force me! And he repaid the favour, so it’s not like I didn’t get anything out of it,’ I say. ‘That’s not the question I asked you. Just because he didn’t force you, it doesn’t mean it was consensual, or you wanted it. Did you want it?’ he asks, and I hesitate. ‘Well, no, but I didn’t mind,’ I reply, and Jimin shakes his head. ‘It’s not about whether or not you mind. It’s that you didn’t want to do it, but you did it anyway because… well, I don’t know why. Whether it’s because you want to keep him happy, or whether it’s because you’re scared of him. How often do you… indulge him when you don’t really want to?’ he asks me. ‘I don’t know, like… 8 times out of 10,’ I say, both of their mouths falling open. ‘Oh, my God, y/n,’ Jungkook says, and I shake my head. ‘No, it sounds bad, but it’s really not,’ I say defensively, and they exchange a glance. ‘All I’m saying, y/n, is that if I had a girlfriend and I found out that 8 out of every 10 times we have sex, she doesn’t want to, my heart would be broken,’ Jimin says, and I fall silent.

‘Are you scared of him, y/n?’ Jungkook asks gently, and I don’t reply for a moment. ‘I’m not scared of him. I’m scared of what falling out with him would mean,’ I say, looking at Jimin, who nods, remembering our earlier conversation. I explain to Jungkook what I explained to Jimin earlier, the boy shaking his head in disgust at everything I say. ‘y/n, Jaehyun said it; you don’t have to marry him. Why are you forcing yourself to?’ Jungkook asks. ‘It’s more complicated than that. I do love him, and I do want to marry him, and he’s all I’ve ever known. If I left him… it’d be leaving everything comfortable, everything familiar. He is my home, as much as my family and friends are, as much as this house is,’ I say. ‘So, because you’re scared of the unknown, you give in to him to keep him sweet?’ Jungkook asks, and I nod. ‘I feel sorry for you, y/n, I really do. And I hope it gets to a point when the two of you love each other enough for you to refuse him without it affecting your relationship,’ Jungkook says, and I smile sadly. ‘Thank you, Jungkook, I appreciate that. One day, maybe,’ I say, both of them nodding.

‘Anyway, moving on from all that depressing sad stuff, I’ve still got another surprise for you, Jimin! And you and Jaehyun should come too, JK!’ I say excitedly. ‘Shall I go get Jaehyun then?’ he asks as I write on a little post-it note for father and the staff to help themselves to the food we made. ‘We’ll come up too. You can get changed into something more comfortable if you want,’ I say, wrapping some of the food up in a tissue and heading towards the door, the two of them following behind me. We go back up the stairs, chatting idly about school, and I knock on Jaehyun’s door when we reach it. He answers it a few moments later, still annoyed. ‘I’m sorry. I know you worry about me, and I promise to talk to you more and explain it all to you. And I brought you food,’ I say, handing him the tissue. ‘Whatever, idiot, you don’t need to apologise,’ he says gruffly, taking the food from me. ‘You know that surprise I planned for Jimin? Do you and JK wanna come too?’ I ask, Jaehyun looking to Jungkook who nods. ‘Yeah, we’ll come. You’re not dressing up, are you?’ he asks. ‘Nope, I’m wearing this. Casual,’ I say, and Jaehyun nods. ‘We’ll meet by the front door in 5?’ I suggest, Jaehyun nodding before retreating into his room, Jungkook doing the same. ‘Jimin, come with me. I’ve just gotta get a couple things,’ I say, the boy following me into my room.

‘Sit down, if you want,’ I say, the boy gently sitting on my bed as I head over to my vanity table, pressing the buttons in the wall to put some music on. I pull the hairslides out of my hair and brush through it before putting it up into a sleek ponytail, pulling out a few baby hairs or I’ll look like an egg. I put on some lip balm and change from my fluffy socks into a pair of black ankle socks, sliding on my black fluffy sliders. I quickly put some body lotion on my elbows and knees, before getting out a little backpack, a custom black Gucci one, and put in my lip balm, a brush, my phone and a portable charger, and my purse. ‘Let’s go,’ I say, heading to the door. ‘Don’t you need a jumper or jacket? It might be a bit colder now, right?’ he asks. ‘Um, I should be fine. I keep a hoodie of Taeyong’s in my car anyway, so I’ll just put that on,’ I say, Jimin nodding. We leave my room, and he grabs a pair of black and white Nike trainers from his room before we head down to the front door, Jungkook already there and waiting, playing some sort of game on his phone. His all black attire, a black Fila t-shirt and a pair of Puma sweatpants, black socks (thankfully showing a strip of his leg) and black Fenty creepers (of which I have a pair myself), accentuates his slim and muscly figure nicely. ‘Hmm, now, we’re just waiting for Jaehyun,’ I say, just as I hear footsteps coming down the stairs. ‘For once. Usually I’m waiting for you,’ Jaehyun says, coming to join us, dressed in a practically identical outfit to Jungkook’s, the brands slightly different. ‘Shall we all go in the same car?’ Jaehyun suggests, and I nod. ‘You drive,’ I say, and Jaehyun nods. We go out to his car, and I slide into the back. ‘I’ll sit in the back,’ Jungkook says, joining me as Jimin and Jaehyun get into the front.

‘Can I connect my phone, Jae?’ I ask, the boy just nodding as he zooms off the drive, and I do so, instantly putting on the playlist Jimin and I were listening to in the kitchen. ‘All you ever listen to is RnB, don’t you get bored?’ Jaehyun asks. ‘What else is there to listen to?’ I ask. ‘Loads. Pop. Rap. Hip-hop. Blues. Funk. Country. Electro. Techno,’ Jaehyun lists, and I laugh. ‘Or UK music’s good. Like bashment and grime and drill and afrobeats and stuff,’ Jungkook laughs, Jimin laughing along with him. Obviously there’s some kind of joke here, but it goes over mine and Jaehyun’s heads. ‘Grime? Drill? What?’ Jaehyun asks, Jungkook and Jimin looking at us incredulously. ‘It’s like… I don’t know. Like a mix of hip-hop, rap and urban. I was just joking, really. But it’s actually not that bad. You should put some on,’ Jungkook says, and I hold my phone out to him. He types something into Spotify, and then puts on a playlist, presumably one full of said ‘UK music’. A bass heavy beat begins, practically blasting out of the speakers, and both Jimin and Jungkook rap every word, the lyrics talking explicitly about money, drugs, and women’s bodies. Once the song finishes, Jungkook pauses the playlist, looking for our feedback. ‘It was good. I liked the beat and the flow. Not sure about the lyrics but… we move,’ I say, Jimin shooting me a grin. ‘I liked it too. Play some more,’ Jaehyun says, Jungkook playing the playlist, another song playing. The beat is similar, and so are the lyrics, but the song’s still good. We bop to the playlist, Jungkook and Jimin singing and rapping along as Jaehyun and I just listen.

‘Do you wanna stop for food? There’s a McDonalds up here on the left,’ Jaehyun says. ‘I don’t mind, whatever you guys wanna do,’ I say. ‘Um, I could eat,’ Jungkook says, Jimin agreeing, and Jaehyun pulls into the McDonalds drive thru. ‘What do you want?’ Jaehyun asks. ‘I’ll have a large 5 chicken select meal, with a coke please,’ Jimin says. ‘I’ll have a large Big Mac meal with a Sprite,’ Jungkook says. ‘Um, I’ll have a spicy chicken wrap,’ I say, all three of them turning to look at me. ‘y/n, cut it out. If you’re having a wrap, I’m getting you nuggets or fries too. What do you want?’ Jaehyun asks, and I sigh. ‘Jae, I’m fine with ju-’ ‘What do you want, y/n?’ ‘I’ll have the wrap with 6 nuggets,’ I say, and Jaehyun raises an eyebrow at me. ‘And a Diet Coke. No ice,’ I say, my brother grinning at me. He orders all the food, getting himself a large Chicken Legend meal with a Fanta, and pays with his black card, the conversation I had with Jimin earlier happening again with Jungkook now. We get our food through the second window, and they try to give us four free McFlurrys too, a number written on one of them.

‘The one with the number is for the girl, from my colleague,’ the server says. ‘Well, the girl is my sister, and she has a man, so tell your colleague thanks, but she’s good,’ Jaehyun says, as kindly as possible. ‘Oh, um, well, take the ice creams anyway,’ the server says. ‘We’re alright, thanks,’ Jaehyun says, giving them a tip before speeding off. ‘Damn, I thought it was a one-off earlier, but obviously not. Is this a regular thing for you, y/n?’ Jimin asks, and I nod tiredly, rolling my eyes. ‘It’s so annoying. It’s only because we’re rich,’ I say. ‘And because you’re pretty,’ Jaehyun says, and I scoff. ‘No,’ I reply. ‘Yes,’ all three of them say, and my eyes widen slightly, taken aback. ‘Wait, really?’ I ask, and Jungkook laughs. ‘Why else, y/n? If you were ugly and rich, they wouldn’t give you their numbers, but if you were poor and pretty, they still would. What’s the common denominator?’ Jungkook says. ‘I’m not sure that’s accurate,’ I say, and they all shake their heads. ‘Shut up and eat your nuggets,’ Jaehyun says, all of us laughing.

We arrive at the shopping centre around ten minutes later. The others have already finished eating, and I’m still on my nuggets as Jaehyun pulls up to the delivery entrance. The guy waves us through, recognising the car, and Jimin and Jungkook look around in confusion. ‘What are we doing? Where are we going?’ Jimin asks. ‘You’ll see in a minute,’ I say excitedly. We park up by the entrance where security stands, and we all get out of the car, drinks cups in hands. ‘Jaehyun, y/n, nice to see you again,’ one of the security guards says, shaking our hands. ‘Nice to see you too, Sihyuk. This is Jimin and this is Jungkook,’ Jaehyun says, the security guard shaking their hands too. ‘Let me take you up,’ Sihyuk says, leading us through the door. He takes us through cold corridors, almost like tunnels, with industrial wires and tubes everywhere, bright fluorescent hospital lighting in strips above us. ‘Are you taking us to be murdered?’ Jungkook jokes, all of us laughing. ‘We’re nearly there,’ I say, just as we near a door on the left of us. Sihyuk opens it for us, letting us through, and we step into a clean and classy room, crystal chandeliers streaming with mellow lights, marble pillars, cream sofas and fluffy cushions. The staff in there practically rush over, shaking all of our hands. ‘Ah, you brought guests,’ I hear a voice from behind me, turning to see Chaerin. She embraces Jaehyun and me before shaking hands with Jimin and Jungkook as my brother introduces them. ‘It’s nice to meet you both. Shall I do the speech?’ she asks, and I nod excitedly. ‘You’ve gotta make it authentic for them,’ I say, and she grins affectionately, rolling her eyes at me.

‘Welcome to our personal shopping experience. We’ll take your measurements and then we’ll bring clothes out for you, one-by-one. The models will be wearing them first, and then you can try them on if you like them. Jaehyun will go first, followed by Jimin, then Jungkook, and finally y/n. Do we have any questions, or can we begin?’ Chaerin says, and Jaehyun and I turn to look at the other two, both of them looking slightly overwhelmed as they nod. ‘Brilliant. y/n, Jaehyun, take your seats, and Jimin, Jungkook, we’ll take your measurements if you don’t mind,’ Chaerin says, four staff members with tape measures appearing behind her. I take a seat on one sofa, tucking my legs beneath me, as Jaehyun sprawls across the other, kicking his shoes off and putting his feet up on the armrest. I watch amusedly as the stylists take Jimin and Jungkook’s measurements, the two looking like deer caught in headlights. Jimin has to take off his jumper so they can take his chest and waist measurements accurately, and his t-shirt gets caught with his jumper as he pulls it over his head, exposing a flash of hard abs and a prominent v-line, the sight making my stomach turn. I look away almost instantly, meeting Jaehyun’s eyes, sparkling with amusement, and then look down at my lap, embarrassed at being caught.

Jimin and Jungkook come and join us a few moments later, Jimin coming to sit on the sofa with me as Jungkook sits on the other sofa with Jaehyun. ‘This is so cool. Is that how you guys always shop?’ Jungkook asks. ‘Yeah, it’s so that we can buy our clothes in peace without people approaching us because they recognise us, and also so we can get a look at the newest releases before they’re put out on shop floors,’ I explain. ‘I bet it costs a bomb,’ Jimin says drily. ‘Yeah, but trust me, it’s so worth it. Wait ‘til you guys see some of the stuff they bring out for us,’ Jaehyun says excitedly as I sip on my drink. ‘Is it all designer stuff?’ Jungkook asks almost embarrassedly. ‘Some of it. But it’s cool, we’ll cover the cost. Don’t even worry about it,’ I say, both of them looking like they want to argue, but they opt not to. The models start to come out wearing clothes for Jaehyun and we all point out items we think would suit him, ranging from tops, trousers and coats, to shoes, jewellery and bags, even socks and underwear. He then goes to try them on, and we choose what we like him in, and what we don’t. Jaehyun’s always been a guy with expensive taste, and so he ends up choosing many of the same brands he’s always worn; Prada, Supreme, Fendi, Givenchy, Balenciaga, Gucci and Alexander McQueen.

Then it’s Jimin’s turn, and he ends up mainly taking a liking to Chanel, Gucci, Saint Laurent, Louis Vuitton, Dior and Celine, his clothing choices tasteful and classy, lots of Chelsea boots, slim fit trousers, plain tops, and distinct jackets. He also chooses a lot Chanel, Louis Vuitton and Saint Laurent jewellery; earrings, necklaces, rings and bracelets that are delicate and feminine. I love the fact that he doesn’t care about which gender the pieces are aimed at, choosing clothes and accessories from both the male and female collections. When he tries them on, I have to actively keep my mouth shut, opting to just nod and smile, because I’m speechless. His figure is amazing, slim shoulders, even slimmer waist, mile long lean legs, hard muscle built up everywhere except for his face and ass (which is deliciously round and pert - it gives my ass a run for its money). He’s beautiful, the clothes making him look like a supermodel, his purple hair giving him such a unique look. Jaehyun and Jungkook both give me amused looks every time Jimin goes into the back to change, and I try to ignore them, just sipping on the complimentary glass of wine they’ve given me.

Then it’s Jungkook’s turn, and it’s clear to see that his style is definitely comfort first; mainly black, oversized and cosy clothes, occasionally opting for some tighter, more form-fitting pieces. The designers he chooses include Acne Studios, Fila, Nike, Adidas and Balenciaga, with a few Saint Laurent, Ralph Lauren and Gucci pieces too, amongst many others. When he tries them on, he either comes out looking like an e-boy – with cargo trousers and military boots, chains and harnesses galore – a college boy – with oversized sweaters and loose sweatpants, hats and trainers – or a supermodel – with skin-tight trousers, form-fitting tees and tops, and fashionable jackets. He also has several ear piercings, and chooses several pairs of earrings, studs, hoops and dangly, all of them silver.

And then it’s my turn. I choose practically every piece they bring out for me, not discriminating against a single designer. I choose dresses, tops, trousers, jeans, skirts, jackets, coats, co-ords, heels, boots, trainers, flats, sandals, all different kinds of bags, necklaces, bracelets, rings, earrings, arm bracelets, anklets, hairslides, headbands, scarves, hats, socks, underwear (not gonna lie, I felt my face heat up when the underwear models came out and I picked nearly every pair, all of them lacy, strappy and slightly risqué. Jaehyun, used to my hoe antics, doesn’t bat an eyelid, helping me to pick some out, but I don’t even dare to look at the other two, slightly embarrassed). It takes an age for me to try them all on, Jaehyun and Jungkook hyping me up and even choosing which outfit I should wear this Saturday (a Balmain velvet little black dress with silver embellishments on it), but Jimin does nothing more than what I did, smiling and nodding with a random cough thrown in every now and then. Either he couldn’t care less about which clothes I choose, or I’ve got more of an effect on him than I thought (which makes me awfully proud of myself).

Once I’ve changed back into my original clothes and re-joined the boys, Chaerin reappears after disappearing all night. I know from previous times that she’s in the back, processing which clothes we choose and getting them bagged up to be sent to our house before we get back. ‘Thank you, Chaerin, we loved it,’ I say, the boys murmuring their ‘thank you’s behind me. ‘You’re most welcome, my loves. Now, get on home, and don’t be strangers. Remember, if you need styling, I’m always available for my favourite twins, and any of their friends,’ she says warmly, hugging us all, the BTS boys included. We say another ‘thank you’ before we’re led back through the draughty industrial corridors out onto the car park. We all climb into Jaehyun’s car, and it isn’t until Jaehyun starts driving that conversation starts up. ‘I wanna just say, guys, that that was the most boujee thing I’ve ever done in my life, and I’m really grateful for it. Like, thank you so much for all those amazing new clothes,’ Jungkook says, my heart warming. ‘Oh, JK, it was nothing. Trust me, we’ll have you doing loads of different boujee things while you’re with us. But you’re welcome,’ I grin at the boy. ‘Yeah, guys, I wanna say thank you too. I’ve always… I’ve always wanted to change my style, but I’ve never been able to afford much more than the standard teen boy fashion. Being able to get all those clothes that I’ve been into for years is such a privilege. I’m really thankful,’ Jimin says sincerely, nearly bringing a tear to my eye. ‘It’s nothing, bro, we got you. Anything you want, let us know, we’ll get it for you. We’re spoiled brats, let us spoil you guys now,’ Jaehyun says, slapping Jimin’s thigh, a brotherly gesture, and Jimin grins at him. They’ve only been with us a day, and yet I feel like our bonds with them are already strong.

After around ten minutes of just listening to chill RnB (we’re too tired for grime right now), Jaehyun speaks; ‘hey, y/n, you remember that diner we used to go to all the time? Mum used to take us.’ ‘Yeah, I remember,’ I say, wondering where he’s going with this. ‘It’s about a minute from here. Do you guys wanna go? They do the best desserts there, and the milkshakes are beautiful,’ Jaehyun says. ‘Yeah, sure,’ Jimin says, Jungkook agreeing. ‘It’s so cool in there. Like an authentic American diner. It’s been a while since we went, to be fair, but from what I can remember, it’s amazing, so cute and retro,’ I say, just as we turn onto a familiar road, and I know that it’s near. Half a minute later, Jaehyun pulls into the car park of The Golden Spoon, and I practically leap out of the car, eager to go get my favourite strawberry milkshake. ‘Aren’t you cold, y/n?’ Jungkook asks me, and I realise then that yes, I am cold. ‘I’m fine,’ I say, and he raises an eyebrow at me as we head towards the entrance. ‘You so should’ve worn a jumper,’ Jimin says. ‘Yeah, but I told you I had one of Taeyong’s in my car. It’s just a shame that we went in Jae’s car,’ I say, Jimin shaking his head. He starts to pull off his sweater, exposing his muscles again, and hands it to me, leaving him in just a thin white t-shirt. ‘Are you sure? I bet you’re cold now,’ I say, and he laughs. ‘I don’t have my legs out as well,’ he says, and I take it embarrassedly, pulling it over my head. It smells amazing, like the same smell that was on the air when he first got into my car yesterday; a nice cologne, baked goods and something distinct I’ve never smelt before, something that must just be Jimin. We step into the diner, the smell of greasy food and baked goods hitting us like a tidal wave. The walls are painted baby blue, the floor checked black and white, and the booths and seats are all red, pictures of old cars and big groups of white people in the 50s hung up everywhere, making it seem authentic.

We slide into a booth, scanning the menus and a server instantly comes over to take our order. ‘I’ll have a chocolate milkshake please,’ Jaehyun says. ‘I’ll have a chocolate too please,’ Jimin says. ‘Can I have strawberry please?’ Jungkook asks, and then they all turn to me. ‘Um, how many calories are in the strawberry milkshakes?’ I ask, Jaehyun groaning, Jungkook and Jimin shaking their heads and the server looking taken aback. ‘I don’t know from the top of my head, but I can check for you,’ she begins, but Jaehyun waves her off. ‘It’s fine, she’ll have a strawberry as well please. Do we want any food?’ Jaehyun asks. ‘Can I have a slice of the, um, Sandy’s Chocolate Cake please?’ Jungkook says, the server writing it down. ‘I’ll have a chocolate fudge brownie with custard. And can I have that with an extra serving of custard please?’ Jaehyun asks, the server nodding with a blush, obviously finding my brother attractive (you’d have to be stupid not to). ‘I don’t want anything,’ I say, and Jimin looks at me. ‘I’m not really that hungry either, I was gonna ask if you wanted to go halves?’ Jimin suggests, and I nod. ‘Yeah, good idea, let’s do that. Do you like lemon? Because they do the most amazing lemon meringue pie here,’ I say, and Jimin grins. ‘We’ll have a slice of the lemon meringue pie please,’ he says, and I smile at the server who notes it down. ‘That’s it, thank you,’ Jaehyun says, the server smiling before going to the back to put our order through.

Gentle retro music plays through the restaurant, only two other booths occupied; one by a young lovestruck couple and the other by an old lady by herself. She’s sat by the jukebox, choosing the songs, and I watch as she roots around in her purse, obviously looking for money to put into the jukebox. ‘Jimin, come with me to choose a song?’ I ask, and he nods instantly, both of us sliding out of our side of the booth. We walk shoulder to shoulder over to the jukebox, and I put in a coin from my purse. ‘Hmm, I can’t choose a song, I’m too indecisive. Will you choose one for me?’ I say, directing the question to the lady, who smiles at me. She picks an Elvis song, and then I put more money in, and she chooses another song. We carry on going until an hour’s worth of music is queued up, and as we head back to the table, Jimin grins at me. ‘That was cute,’ he says. ‘What?’ I ask. ‘You putting money in for that old lady to choose her songs. It was cute,’ he says, and I smile shyly to myself, looking down at my feet. ‘Whatever,’ I mumble, Jimin laughing under his breath. ‘You’re cute, princess,’ he says, and I feel myself getting even more embarrassed, trying to hide it as I slide into the booth, sitting up against the window.

Our milkshakes come then, topped with mounds of whipped cream, strawberries on mine and Jungkook’s, and a chocolate wafer on Jaehyun and Jimin’s. I take a long sip, savouring the taste, before offering it to Jimin. ‘Wanna try some?’ I say, and he nods, taking the straw into his mouth and taking a small sip. ‘Oh, my God, that tastes amazing,’ he says, and I grin. ‘Right? Way better than chocolate,’ I tease, and he rolls his eyes with a small smile. My phone pings then, and I look down at it, quickly replying to a text from Nayeon, and when I look back up, Jimin’s offering me his. ‘I’ll try a bit. Just to prove that strawberry’s better,’ I say, leaning forward to take a sip. And he pushes the glass towards me, covering my nose and left cheek in cream. ‘Jimin!’ I shriek, the boys bursting into laughter, and I can’t hold back my giggles as I blot the cream away with a tissue. ‘Idiot,’ I mutter, hitting him gently, which makes them laugh even more. And then I notice that Jaehyun has his phone up in his hands, recording us. He stops the recording when I look, and I hold a hand to block his phone. ‘Please don’t put that on your story,’ I say. ‘I was gonna put it on my private,’ he says. ‘Still.’ ‘Why not? Don’t worry, you look nice,’ he says. ‘That’s not it,’ I say, and he sighs. ‘I’m sorry, but if your man can’t deal with you having male friends, then that’s his problem, not yours or mine or Jimin’s or anyone’s. Okay?’ Jaehyun says, and I fall silent, not even bothering to say anything. ‘Put it on, then,’ I say, and all three of the boys grin victoriously.

Jaehyun starts to show Jungkook a funny video on his phone, and so I turn to Jimin. ‘So, how was your first day?’ I ask. ‘It was great. Thank you, for everything,’ he says, and I grin. ‘You are most welcome, Jimin. I’m glad you’ve enjoyed it. Trust me, we’ll have loads more days like this,’ I say, and he smiles. ‘I hope so.’ ‘Well, tomorrow, you guys are at football, and you won’t get back ‘til like 8.30, so I’ll have dinner ready for when you all get home. Then Wednesday, we’re free, so we can do something then. Maybe we could go out for a meal somewhere. If you guys wear your new clothes, you’ll end up in some kind of gossip magazine, guaranteed. Then Thursday, we’re at the golf club. And then Friday, you guys are at football, and you’ll probably end up going for food and stuff after, and I’ll be at home with the girls for a girls’ night. Then we can kill some time on Saturday, and then tell everyone to come over around 6ish. And Sunday will be for recovering,’ I say, Jimin laughing. ‘Are your guys’ schedules always this packed? Because I don’t know how you can hack it,’ he says. ‘Hack it?’ I ask. ‘Um, it means like… manage it, deal with it, cope with it,’ he says, and I nod in understanding. ‘This week is actually quite laidback compared to my usual. Honestly, there is always something going on around here. And then nobody does anything on a Sunday, because you’ve gotta spend Sundays resting. The most I’ll ever do is meet Taeyong or Nayeon for food,’ I say, Jimin shaking his head incredulously. ‘I definitely wouldn’t be able to hack it,’ he says, and I laugh, a little grin playing at his lips.

Our dessert arrives then, and Jimin and I take alternating bites of the pie whilst Jaehyun and Jungkook scoff their desserts down. I have a few spoonful’s of Jaehyun’s custard (considering he got another helping because he knew I’d have some), and it all tastes amazing, just like it did all the previous times we’ve come here. When we’re finished, the server takes our plates away and Jaehyun pays. We all rise up from the booth, and I leave a very generous tip on the table for the server. As soon as we get into the car and Jaehyun starts driving, my phone starts ringing. I get it out and see that it’s Taeyong. ‘Great,’ I mutter before answering it. ‘Hey, babe,’ I say as cheerfully as I can, knowing what I’m in for, as Jaehyun turns down the music. ‘Either you’re purposely trying to annoy me, or you’re that oblivious as to what you’re doing,’ he practically spits down the phone, and I sigh. ‘Tae, what are you talking about?’ ‘You know exactly what I’m talking about. Whose jumper were you wearing in that video on Jae’s story?’ he asks, Jaehyun watching me in the mirror, both Jimin and Jungkook turning to look at me. Obviously, they can hear Taeyong’s words too, because he’s talking that loud. ‘Jimin’s,’ I say, seeing no point in lying.

‘What makes you think that that’s okay, y/n?’ he asks, and I laugh. ‘I was cold.’ ‘Why couldn’t you wear a jumper of your own?’ ‘It was still warm when we left the house, and we ended up taking Jaehyun’s car, so I couldn’t put on the jumper of yours that’s in my car,’ I explain. ‘That’s not good enough, y/n.’ ‘Tae, I’m sorry, but I don’t think there was anything wrong with that. I was cold, Jimin wasn’t, he offered me his jumper, and I said yes. That is it,’ I say. ‘But don’t you see what it looks like, y/n? First of all, that video looks like you’re flirting, and then to make it worse, you’re wearing his jumper. You’re making me look like an idiot,’ he says. ‘Tae, no one thinks that. For all anyone else knows, that jumper I’m wearing is yours, or Jaehyun’s,’ I say, and he laughs. ‘Don’t be ridiculous, y/n, neither of us wear Nike,’ he says, and I see Jimin let out a humourless laugh, turning back to face the front. ‘Oh, get real, Tae, no one knows or cares what you or Jaehyun or I wear. No one will think deeply enough into that video. They will laugh and then skip to the next story. It’s not that big of a deal, and you need to get a grip,’ I say bitterly, surprised with myself. ‘y/n, people will notice. I don’t want people to think my girlfriend is going around with other boys,’ he says, voice shaking with anger, and I scoff. ‘I think it’s pretty obvious I’m yours, I had your dick in my mouth at school a few hours ago,’ I spit out, all three boys in the car pulling faces, but I pay no attention, shaking as I speak. I’ve never spoken to him like this before, and it feels good. Scary, but good. He stays silent for a few seconds, and all I can think is that this is it. He’s gonna dump me, and I’ll be left single and alone. And then he speaks; ‘I’m coming over to your house. I’ll be there in twenty.’

The line clicks off, and I put my phone back into my bag. ‘I’m proud of you for standing up to him like that, y/n,’ Jaehyun says, and I smile, feeling nervous. ‘Why’s he coming over?’ Jungkook asks, and Jaehyun laughs. ‘Either because he knows that y/n will struggle to speak to him the way she just did in real life and so he thinks she’ll apologise and he’ll win, or he’s coming to stay the night… if you get what I mean,’ Jaehyun says. ‘Oh,’ Jungkook says. ‘What if he hits me or something? He seemed angry, Jae, I’m kinda scared,’ I say as we near the house. ‘y/n, relax. He wouldn’t, he wouldn’t dare to lay a hand on you. I’ll kill him before he hits you. You’ll kill him before he hits you,’ Jaehyun says. ‘I’ll kill him before he hits you,’ Jungkook says, all of us laughing. ‘God, he’s such a pompous moron. He really annoys me sometimes,’ I say. ‘I’ve known him for less than one day, and he annoys me sometimes too,’ Jimin says, coaxing more laughter from us as Jaehyun pulls up on the driveway. All of us climb out of the car, Changwoo greeting us. ‘Is father home yet, Changwoo?’ I ask, and Changwoo shakes his head. ‘I’m afraid not, miss,’ he replies, and I sigh. ‘Okay, thank you anyway. Goodnight,’ I say, and he bids us goodnight in return. ‘Oh, Changwoo, by the way, Taeyong’s coming over, he’ll be here soon,’ I say. ‘Okay, miss, I’ll make sure the gate’s open for him,’ he says, and I thank him before heading into the house with the boys.

We head into the smallest living room, the one beside the kitchen, and Jaehyun practically throws himself down onto the biggest sofa. Jimin and Jungkook sit on another sofa, and I perch on an armchair as Jaehyun turns the on the TV, some kind of sports match beginning to blare out into the room. The clock on the wall reads 10.51, and I know that Taeyong will be here in the next nine minutes, the thought making my stomach turn. I stare unseeingly at the TV as the boys get comfortable, watching the match whilst scrolling through their phones. ‘y/n, stop stressing, it’s gonna be fine,’ Jaehyun says, breaking me out of my reverie, and I nod, trying to ease my nerves. I look up at the clock again, the time now reading 10.57, and then I hear the front door, my heart jumping in my chest. All three of the boys look at me, giving me encouraging smiles, and I nod, hearing footsteps nearing us. The living room door opens, and Taeyong stands there, in a pair of slim-fit trousers and a plain t-shirt, a jacket in his hand. ‘Hey, Jae, JK, Jimin,’ Taeyong says, going around to the room to shake their hands, all of them greeting him in return, before he turns to look at me. ‘Can I speak to you, baby? In the kitchen?’ he asks, and I nod, feeling slightly more relaxed at hearing the pet name.

He gently grabs one of my hands and we go next door into the kitchen. ‘What’s this?’ he asks, spotting the food on the counter. ‘We did some baking earlier. Try some if you want, it’s really nice,’ I say, and he does so, breaking off small pieces of both food items and trying them, nodding at me afterwards. ‘They taste nice. Have you had any?’ he asks, obviously wondering how much I’ve been eating, and now that I think about it, I’m mortified. I’ve had a Starbucks, a McDonalds, wine, a milkshake, and dessert, as well as the baking. But it’s about time he stopped monitoring my diet, right? That’s something I should do myself; he doesn’t need to. ‘I tried a bit of each. I’ve actually had a lot to eat today, more than I have in a long time,’ I say, and he nods. ‘Well, that’s okay. It’s good that you have cheat days. It’s not good to eat as little as you do every day. I don’t want you withering away into nothing,’ he says gently, and I have to stop my mouth from falling open in shock. Where has this new attitude come from?

‘So what did you want to talk about?’ I ask, and he takes a seat at the breakfast bar. ‘I wanted to apologise, and I wanted to do it face to face. I’m sorry for speaking to you the way I did on the phone, and I’m sorry for getting so jealous and possessive all the time, and I’m sorry for watching your diet, and I’m sorry for treating you the way I’ve been treating you the past few months. It’s not… it’s not right, and I’m sorry. I was just thinking that I missed the way we used to be, remember? We used to be so in love and romantic and annoyingly sickly, and I miss that. Now, I just feel like we’re an old married couple, and I realised it’s because of me. I’m trying to keep you close, keep you mine and keep you as you are, but I’m only pushing you away. I miss us, baby, and I’m sorry,’ he says sincerely. I can’t believe my ears; I never expected him to say this. ‘What… where is this coming from, Tae?’ I ask. ‘Seeing you with Jimin, it scared me. It hit me, y/n, that even though we’re promised to each other, nothing is guaranteed, nothing is certain. There’s nothing stopping you from leaving me, and I never realised that before, which is something I should’ve been aware of. I can’t just treat you however, because I could lose you to someone else. And my treatment of you, it wasn’t right. I was treating you like my property, but that’s not the case,’ he says, sounding slightly more hysterical with every word. When I don’t reply instantly, he runs a hand through his hair, his eyes looking teary and bright. ‘I’m sorry, y/n, I really am. I love you, baby, and I don’t wanna lose you. I’ll sort myself out and I’ll fix things, I’ll make it right, just please, don’t leave me,’ he says, and for the first time in years, I see Taeyong cry. I take a hesitant step towards where he’s sat, before moving to stand between his legs, and I pull him into my arms. He buries his head in my chest and I hold him tight, gently scraping my nails across his scalp to soothe him, knowing that he likes the feeling.

After a couple minutes, I move away, and he takes a deep breath, composing himself. ‘Taeyong, I’m not gonna leave you. Yes, for pretty much all of this school year, your behaviour towards me hasn’t been great, but that doesn’t mean I’ll leave you. Every couple goes through rough patches, not just us, and I still love you, just as much as I always have. I could never leave you, baby,’ I say. ‘Promise me, y/n. I know it’s silly and immature, but pinky promise me,’ he says, holding out his pinky. ‘I promise to never leave you. As long as you treat me well,’ I say, locking my pinky with him. ‘Always, always. I love you, y/n, I’m sorry,’ he says. ‘Stop apologising. It’s okay,’ I say, leaning down to press a kiss to his lips. I pull away after a few seconds, and he smiles at me. ‘I wanna start over with you. I want us to fall in love all over again,’ he says, and I smile shyly. ‘What, so we’re gonna start dating from the start?’ I ask, and he nods with a grin. ‘I’m gonna court you,’ he says, and I laugh. ‘Court me?’ I ask, and he nods. ‘Like in the 50s,’ he says, and I laugh, putting my arms around his neck and toying with the short hairs at the nape of his neck. ‘Well, I’ll telling you now, don’t throw rocks at my window or anything stupid like that,’ I say, and he bursts out laughing, resting his head against my chest. ‘What about our… agreement?’ I ask. ‘Well, that can stay the same, right? It doesn’t have to change,’ he says, and my heart sinks slightly. ‘Yeah. Yeah, you’re right,’ I say as he sits up, and I have to put on a smile to hide my disappointment. He can’t really love me as much as he claims if he doesn’t want to stay monogamous to me. ‘Are you gonna stay the night?’ I ask him, and he shakes his head, standing up. ‘If I’m courting you, I’m doing it properly,’ he says, and I can’t help but pout at him. ‘Don’t give me that face. We’re gonna start over, like it was when we first started dating when we were, like, 16,’ he says. ‘Fine,’ I sulk, and he laughs. ‘I love you. Come on, let me go say bye, and then I’ll go back home. Seulgi’s alone,’ he says, wiggling his eyebrows, and when I frown, he laughs. ‘I’m kidding, I’m kidding,’ he says, leading me back into the living room where the boys seem suspiciously focused on the TV.

‘I’m heading back, I’ll see you guys tomorrow,’ Taeyong says, all of them bidding each other goodbye with fist bumps and handshakes. ‘Shall I walk you to the door?’ I ask. ‘It’s fine, baby, stay in here. I’ll see you tomorrow,’ he says, pulling me into his arms and pressing a very PG kiss to my lips. ‘I love you. Goodnight,’ he says, blowing me a kiss before he leaves. I turn back to face the boys who all look up at me. ‘That… was not what I was expecting,’ Jaehyun says as I throw myself onto the sofa beside Jungkook. ‘Me neither,’ I sigh, my head spinning. ‘Did he… did he cry?’ Jungkook asks, and I nod. ‘He did. Took me slightly by surprise,’ I say, and I spot an amused smile on Jimin’s face. ‘What’s funny?’ I ask, genuinely intrigued. ‘I don’t know if it’s my place, y/n,’ he says. ‘Tell me. I wanna know your take on it,’ I say, and he shrugs. ‘I don’t buy it, personally. We’ve been here one day, and he’s crying because he doesn’t want to lose you to me? I think it’s because of the way you spoke to him on the phone. It took him by surprise, so he spouted all that crap, squeezed out some fake tears, told you he loves you a couple times, to butter you up, to get you to comply with him, to pipe down. I don’t see how me being here for literally a day can have such an effect on him. That’s just my opinion, anyway,’ he says, and I digest his words. There’s no way he would fake all of that, surely? ‘I disagree, but thank you for the new outlook. I’ll keep that in mind for the next couple weeks, and see if your theory becomes more plausible depending on his behaviour,’ I say tactfully, and he grins. ‘Not gonna lie, y/n, I think he’s right. I don’t think Tae’s being genuine with you. I completely agree with Jimin; he did that to keep you sweet,’ Jaehyun says, and I feel tears coming to my eyes. How many times have I cried today? ‘So you don’t think he cares?’ I ask, voice wavering, and they all look slightly panicked. ‘No, y/n, he cares, of course he cares. It’s just that he probably doesn’t like the way you spoke to him on the phone and instead of going at you, he pulled the guilt trip,’ Jungkook says gently, patting my shoulder, and I nod, sniffling. ‘I think you need to go to bed, y/n. Get a good night’s rest,’ Jaehyun says carefully, not wanting to set me off again, ‘you’ll feel better in the morning.’

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