#(ppl chosen specifically for Noises)

[shortfeather]

guy who likes oceanic horror voice what if i stuck team zits in the doctorr4t neverend mod though. what if zed tried to tame a juvenile grandgousier

[autisticempathydaemon]

hello everynyan :3 /ref

4 the redacted match-ups ! not sure if you're still doing these or not bc i'll be damned i'd give up after the first 3 🙌🙌🙌 power 2 ya ! (if you ARE, in fact, not doing these anymore pls ignore this. this never happened. kay.)

What song are you fixated on at the moment? What lyric or verse, and why?

this was the hardest question bc i LOVEEMUSIC so bad i can never really pick ONE fav bc it changes every 2 seconds but !!! gun to my head as of rn i'd say -- "but not kiss" - faye webster

'i want to see you in my dreams,

but then forget.

we're meant to be,

but not yet.

you're all that i have,

but can't get.'

i chose this song primarily because of the aesthetics & instrumental,, + the feels - i love how the piano carries and portrays every feeling (dread? maybe?) alongside the vocalist ugh sick to my stomach /pos

as for the verses i've chosen i just. really like the way she sings them HA i guess depending on my current mood i might relate to the lyrics for .5 seconds due to a past relationship of mine that had me fuckedd anyway.

Do you love gargantuan Youtube video essays, and if so, which is your favorite and why?

i WISH i could enjoy these as much as others but i have the attention spam of a fucking goldfish i need to be stimulated 24/7. i cannot stare at the same face and occasional photo/clip for over 10 mins.

i might watch more of em if they had like a satisfying slime video in the corner or smth. i find i only watch ones that have a topic/interest of mine that i am actively curious about/into????if that makes sense??

for instance, the only one that comes to mind rn is "in defense of chat noir" by toon ruins UGH ITS SO GOOD i used to be a huge fan of miraculous so that defffinitely takes part in why i rewatch it every few months.

What is your go-to way to fall asleep?

on my stomach. arms under pillows. one leg up. yo i bought these headphones made specifically for sleeping while listening to relaxing noises or smth & i kid you not i use them shits to listen to asmr/rp audios. sometimes it puts me to sleep other times i'm up all night tryna figure out what position the listener and 'character' are in. anyway!!!

If you had to change your name, what would it be, and why? (In tandem, if you have changed your name, why did you pick that one?)

first thing that comes 2 mindd for whatever reason is 'may' ?? possibly bc i really like my birth name already and 'may' is somewhat close to it already? also because i'd love writing it over and over in my handwriting . probably just an excuse to write the letter 'y' actually.

What is your favorite of Redacted’s audios, and why?

fav character changes ALLL THE TIMEE for no reason my fav is all of them rlly i just wanna love and be loved BUT when i reaaaally think about it ?? hudson. even though he's like. an easter egg. i cant have anything. wanna "D D D D DDDJJJ ANXIETY" into his pants. what. who said that. just got hacked wtff

What Redacted boy holds no appeal to you, and why? Like, not the one you hate but the one who you don’t get the hype for. (I won’t judge, I promise.)

a know a LOTT of ppl love david but i am sorry i just cannot. angel better than me idk how they do it. srry. my momma raised a bitch. i've never ever gotten to finishing any of his videos so maybe im the problem but from the get-go THIS BITCH IS SCARY BRO he's so damn intimidating . the fact that his voice is rlly deep doesn't help either :C ..& don't even get me started on early david.

Which Redacted boy are you platonically attracted to? Like- forget dating, which dude do you want to be your best friend?

this is such a good question rlly makin me think . hmm . OK I FEEL LIKE A BASIC BlTCH BC PPL HAVE BEEN SAYIN THIS ALREADY BUT . hux. we like this 🤞 . as for why?? i feel like i need and would . honestly really appreciate more,, warmth and positivity in my life - and i def get that sorta 'aura' from him. & i know damn well he'd give the best hugs. and we could go to the gym together. it'd be so fun. so precious.

Do you have a go-to thing you ramble about when you’re tired, and if so, what is it? (For example, my boyfriend knows I’m ready to sleep when I start talking about space.)

ok first of all #relationshipgoals that is so sweet awe :((

i wouldn't say i really 'ramble' per say -- i just talk. to myself. like a normal person. mhm. i struggle with sleep in general, so i'm usually up till like 5am. typically endlessly scrolling through my phone, or talking to the abyss about something personal that's been on my mind for a while. if it's really bad, i cry in my voice memos. if i just need to - refresh? get smth off my mind so i can sleep? i write songs.

...and then i record them on my $15 wireless headphones. onto that very same voice memos app.

Tell me your go-to gas station and drink combo.

if im being honest,, depends on my mood . but god could i fuck up some strawberry milk and mini oreos right about now. . mind you i've had strawberry milk like once but it changed my life u dont understand

Tell me about your favorite playlist at the moment.

i mean i don't listen to it 24/7 but man i outdid myself w this one. it's called "insanity" and every single song matches the vibe of . just straight up 'otherworldly' ?? if u catching what im throwin?? all songs r pretty 'out-there' - in terms of the vibes - at least i like to think so. for reference it has songs like "goth - sidewalks and skeletons" and "eternal youth - růde" . IDK i guess it makes me happy when songs from a playlist actually match up with one other

What’s your guilty pleasure media, and why?

i listen to this japanese-kawaii-metal-based group called BABYMETAL and i loveee them soso much. a few "metal enthusiasts" go out and call their work 'not real metal' , which is why i guess you can technically call their music a pleasure media -- as well as the fact that whenever i put on one of their songs mfs r like ... what is this - cause its three young japanese girls talking abt bubblegum with the the most insane guitar riff in the back. their newer stuff is incredible. womanhood at it's finest. give them a shot plspls /nf

ALL DONE !! ty 4 reading & have a lovely day/night, wherever you may be <3

Oh, this one is perfect and required, like, no thought. Vibes-wise? Given your energy? It’s just gotta be Guy.

Building on that, I love that you write songs and he writes screenplays(?). I think it’s so cute to pair writers together so that you might inspire one another and be each other's biggest fans. I also like Guy for you because he strikes me as one of those people who calls themselves “polyjamorous”, listening to basically anything and everything. He loves all your songs and all your playlists, vibing along to all of it even if there’s no words or words in another language. He doesn’t care: he’s with you, so he’s having a good time.

I would predict a fun, artistic life for the two of you like parallel-playing co-writing sessions with the two of you having individual headphones on, making funny faces at one another when you catch the other staring. You take turns showing each what you’ve created and hyping each other up, offering critique. When the writer's clock keeps y’all up till 3 AM, he’s got leftover pizza and any snacks you could possibly want. (He strikes me as the sort of guy who always has junk food caches.)

Song:

It was just two lovers/ Sittin' in the car, listening to Blonde/ Fallin' for each other/ Pink and orange skies, feelin' super childish/ No Donald Glover/ Missed call from my mother/ Like, "Where you at tonight?" Got no alibi/ I was all alone with the love of my life

Given your passion for music, I tried to pick a love song for y’all that was emotionally evocative to the mind and the ear. I chose this one because I thought the piano instrumental and how it evokes that mental imagery of sitting with someone during the golden hour might resonate with you. I also like it for y’all because this song got really popular on tiktok, and Guy would probably know it from there.

Runner-ups:

Obviously, we have to have Hudson as a runner-up. As a DJ, he’d be so loving and so supportive of your craft, hyping you up on air all the time and playing your work whenever he can. He’d also make you really bomb-ass playlists. A less obvious runner-up would be Anton, but I really like this one. You’d be more of an opposites attract sort of pair, but I think it’d be cute, and listening to music would remind Anton of you while he’s away~

Read this post and send me an ask if you’d like a match-up of your own! 💌

[thoughts-on-bangtan]

Let’s talk: The importance of curating your space and the cyclical life of ships

by Admin 1

From anon: Hi! I'm a new Army/vminie (4 months) and I have a (maybe dumb) question... When I joined, I saw so many j*/k*okers analysing every small moment between jk and jm and these ppl were everywhere and I couldn't avoid seeing j*/k*ok ship content. However, the past two weeks or so it seems to have shifted and suddenly I see t*e/k*ok ship content everywhere. I wonder, is this shifting a normal occurence? And how do I get rid of these ship contents in spaces that are supposed to be free of these 2 ships

Having been around for quite some time, I’ve come to think of the big ships as something very akin to extremely sensitive seismometers. Instead of detecting even the smallest movement or noise in relation to earthquakes or volcanic activity, these ship seismometers react to any and all activity (as in any kind of “moments” or what they perceive as such) in very “volatile” manners, for a lack of better words.

What do I mean by that?

Like you said, there was a long phase after Dynamite came out where the mood had shifted toward J*k*ok because we got more content in which we could see those two interact, even if later on we also got content from the same sets and time in which both members involved were seen interacting with other members, but that didn’t matter. So, obviously, shippers took this as grand sign, the seismometer drawing numbers like ones you’d get when you have an extreme earthquake, but in this case it was a positive thing. Every new “moment” or anything they perceived as such caused big reactions, loud enough to even reach far beyond their space and instead was heard also in general ARMY spaces or those of other shippers etc. But, there’s also the opposite effect, as in, volatile reactions, or big reactions, when there are several pieces of content one after the other where said ship doesn’t interact or doesn’t have any “moments”. In cases like that euphoria quickly shifts into “insecurity” (though they would never admit to that) and worry, occasionally also defensiveness and attacks.

Imagine a scenario like this: lets say we get five Bangtan B*mbs. The first one has main ship A interact, the next one doesn’t have either of the two ships, the third one was has main ship B interact, as well as in video four and five. 

Those who were happy with the first video will be casual/neutral about the second one, but as they get the third, fourth and fifth, the seismometer for them inevitably turns from extremely positive to extremely negative. While for B it’s the exact opposite, going from negative to extremely positive with YT and sns exploding with announcements of “B ships is back” or “B are in love after all, BH has freed them” or anything along those lines.

What I’m trying to say is that yes, this is normal. The big ships and their shippers lead a very cyclical life, which also means they never quite “disappear” either. They are always there, waiting, and then jump on any piece of a moment they get with big reactions, and in the time where they have nothing, chances are the toxic part of their community will go into attack mode instead, like that will change anything at all. We’ve seen other ships come and go, nearly disappear just to have some kind of revival months or even years later, or “new” ships win the favor of the masses. There are also a few ships that have steadily existed for most of the past eight years without any volatile shifts or changes, but those are generally the quieter ones ignored or actively campaigned against/discredited ones by the big ships and their shippers. 

Hyung line ships are generally seen as more “niche”/overlooked, or just some background extras for fanfics or something ML shippers enjoy since the aren’t an active “threat”, like Namjoon x Yoongi or Yoongi x Hobi which have been around forever and I don’t think I’ve ever really seen (or heard about) anyone have fights about them or even fights between those two camps, since most shippers have an almost laser like focus on the maknaes and especially JK.

The funny thing in all of this, if you can even call it that, is that none of it really depends on the members themselves. In all this time they haven’t changed their behavior much at all, their bonds haven’t drastically or dramatically changed, and certain members didn’t magically go from “hating” each other to suddenly becoming couples over night or vise versa. It’s all shipper interpretations, theories and conspiracies being layered on top of what people see on screen to make things more “interesting”, even if that means actively going against what the members have said themselves and who the members are, as in their personalities but also in relation to each other.

And this brings me to my next point, the importance of curating your own space.

Here it’s important to know what kind of a TL or ARMY sns experience do you want. Do you want to just focus on your bias with a side of OT7 with gifs and pictures and nothing else? Do you want to have more of an eye on how BTS is doing on the charts? Have more discourse and discussions on the TL you can follow or actively participate in? Or do you want a mix of it all?

Personally I’m very picky in who I follow and what kind of content I add to my TL by following an account. Generally I think it’s important to check every account you consider following to make sure they aren’t one of the following things: akgae, manti, solo stan, toxic shipper, or a victimizing sheep. While I do follow a number of ship centric accounts, because I like seeing vmin and namjin on my TL, I find it extremely important to follow several trustworthy ARMY translators as well as a number of non-ship centric ARMY accounts that just focus on Bangtan as a whole.

The block button is your friend. I know it might seem drastic or mean to just block random people, but in the long run you will be thankful for it since it will keep toxic content away from your space, regardless if toxic in a solo stan sense or a ship one. If you’re on twt you can also mute certain words and # so they don’t show up on your TL either, make use of that if you feel a need for it. Eventually though the algorithm learns what you gravitate toward, and if you follow a well curated number of accounts, the things you don’t want to see simply won’t appear where you can see them.

On YT, as far as I’m aware, in the recommended section you can mark videos you don’t like as not being interested in them and even mark whole channels as something you don’t want to have recommended to you. Since I don’t watch any ship related videos, I never get any recommended to me despite watching BTS videos (though I mostly stick to their official accounts and wherever else they performed).

It’s important to create a space in which you just see the content you want, but still pay attention to not just bury yourself in a ship bubble since that can be a slippers slope and you might end up accidentally turning yourself toxic on accident, too sure of your thoughts and end up growing resentful moments where a member of your ship interacts with someone else in the group. That’s when you know you’ve gone several steps to far, since above all else, we are ARMY before we are vminnies or namjinists or anything else. We can love our chosen duo, we can love our bias(es), but we should always listen to what the members have to say and trust them. After all Tae (and the other members) has asked us several times to love all seven, so that’s what I do. They are all incredibly lovable, and their bonds with each other all precious and wonderful in their own ways and worthy of appreciation, so I don’t understand those who feel hatred against any of them.

Curate your space but always keep a healthy mix of general ARMY and ship content, if you are someone who partakes in shiperverse activities, and stay as far away as possible from manipulative YT videos and accounts with toxic narratives and motives. 

From anon: hey! read your new post re: curating your own space. don't know if you'll answer this, but is there any "must follow" accounts on twt (for translations, vmin, and bts in general) that you can recommend? I'm new to the site and made an account for bangtan only, but there's just so much going on there that it can get confusing. Also found out that there are many troll accs, fake 'nice' accs, too much drama accs etc that can give you a bad experience.

Here’s a large selection of translators and a smaller selection of other accounts that I think are worth following, especially BTSChartData. Also, whatever you do, don’t follow the BTS ARMY twt account with 4M+ followers or however many they might have at this point.

I’d also be very weary of member specific fanbases and chart accounts since they are known as perfect breeding grounds for solos, akgae and mantis, unfortunately, and some have been exposed for being akgae themselves.

[ookami-tsun]

hii! i read that we can request for specific characters with info that we give on the matchup post, if it's possible may i request for hu tao and yanfei (separately)? i just love them very much, i think they're neat :3

ive never done matchups with specific characters before i hope im not doing anything wrong aha (^～^;)ゞ

im a 5'2 girl with short messy black hair and blue eyes and my body type is a bit chubby :3

i enjoy taking walks but whenever i meet ppl i get so anxious and nervous it's hard for me to talk (sucrose kinnie moment)

im a huge introvert but when i warm up to someone im very lively and have no problem talking. i also like staying in my comfort zone

some things i enjoy are baking, taking care of animals and playing the flute!

i have a fear of loud noises, like hearing loud thunder makes me panic and cry a bit. im sensitive and sometimes overthink a lot like even the small things ʕ´• ᴥ•̥`ʔ

whenever i get attached to someone i get clingy and protective and i enjoy physical contact like holding hands or hugging as long as they're ok with it

i hope this would be ok, i can't think of anymore rn haha take care and have a good day! (*´ω｀*)

haihai, yes you can most definitely request matchups with specific characters (i know some people request matchups hoping to get their favorite character(s) so i wanna let those people enjoy the scenarios written too) im really bad with writing female characters (im act more like a boy, im not really feminine and i tend to hang out with guys so writing about guys is a bit more natural for me) but ill try my best for your request, i hope you enjoy my attempt for your matchups uwu

Anyways... You have chosen Hutao & Yanfei!!!

Hutao :

You're introverted, anxious and nervous... (you really are a sucrose kinnie, thats cute) I believe that Hu Taos cheerful and quirky personality would be able to nudge you out of that introverted shell

You enjoy baking ?? I believe that you and Hu Tao would start baking together when Hu Tao isnt busy with work (hopefully Hu Tao doesnt make a suspicious version... unless u like it)

You're clingy and enjoy physical touch ?? I believe that Hu Tao would be really happy and start hugging you and holding your hand whenever you'd like (Hu Tao seems like a person whose love language is physical touch)

Hu Tao would most definitely hold you close when ever there is a thunderstorm, she might even pull some pranks on Zhongli in hopes of getting your mind of the noise

Overall both of you would be extremely cute together (im sorry... T.T i ran out of ideas... T.T)

Yanfei :

Yanfei would try to get you out of your introverted shell by bringing you along whenever she has to attend to her duties as a legal advisor, of course she wouldnt force you out of your comfort zone

I believe that Yanfei would bring back a few animals for you to play with so that you wouldnt be alone if she has to travel far for her job (assuming it is out of your comfort zone to meet her clients with her) if not the animals would accompany you guys on Yanfei's work trip

I believe that Yanfei's love langauge would be acts of service (im sorry if im wrong about this, im not in a really good mental state currently) but she most definitely wouldnt mind holding your hand or giving you hugs since she would find it cute how clingy you are

Whenever there is a thunderstorm, Yanfei would read or teach your some stuff about law to hopefully either put you to sleep or to keep your mind off the loud thunder (assuming you find hearing things about law and politics rather dry or boring)

Overall both of you would be rather cute together and Yanfei's clients might give you guys gifts or compliments whenever they see you (im sorry im really bad at female characters... T.T)

[neonbeasts]

stuff about proxy

because im a nerd

I’ll put a keep reading because this might get long

Their ears are expressive. Very much so. 

Most of the physical contact they’d receive was negative/harmful to them so when someone does something simple or comforting like a shoulder pat or a hug they’re A: Startled, B: Mystified Internally: wtf??? is happening here???

Yet they have little issue initiating it.

but don’t touch the ears under any circumstance. They’d launch you through the ceiling. Not even on purpose, just reflexively. yeet

They make a lot of insect noises? Or just weird noises in general? Buzzing, chirping, whistles, chattering, howling, shrieking, purring occasionally. Different tones mean different things.

They only purr under three circumstances: They���re either content as all hell and it’s a noise of just I feel safe and happy, if they’re in extreme pain, or if they’re scared out of their mind. They rarely purr, but it’s mostly under circumstance two when they do.

The scar across their neck was given to them by their mother. When they were six. When she tried to ‘put everyone out of their misery,’ and kill them.

The word ‘proxy’ is actually a highly offensive insult in Madekhan: the common language of demons. It denotes a weak-willed person, someone who isn’t worth anyone’s time. This name was chosen intentionally.

They trust a grand total of three people. Across history, across realms, only three. And one of them is their cat.

They just kinda melt when people play with their hair.

Because they were born magically stunted, all of their arcane powers come from more... visceral sources. Specifically one of these five: Blood, Pain, Bone, Rhythm, and Stone. ie: blood sacrifice, carving stuff into their skin, conduits made from bones, musical rhythm (hence the violin), and some crystals.

They’re woefully behind on human slang. 

Electronics spazz out and explode around them. Something in their blood maybe?

Their blood has a ph level of 1.8, and the consistency of tar.

They breathe out of habit. To keep up appearances. They don’t have lungs. Or gills. How they survive without respiration is a mystery.

They’re mostly color blind. They can, however, perceive shades of red.

They named their knives. Toothpick and Geoffrey.

Coffee. Does something to them. It’s like an instant caffeine rush. But 18x stronger. They once drank an entire pot of coffee and then proceeded to get in a knife fight with a wendigo. And won. (some ppl might know about this idk)

They can hold their own in a drinking contest.

To show affection, they’ll just kinda press their face/head into someone’s shoulder.

A lot of their initial philosophy was: I have been wronged by this bitch of a reality. Let’s not make it so for other people.

They want to straight up murder their entire family.

Back in their homeland, they’re royalty. Next in line for the throne.

Tensor is a nickname given to them by a close friend. Like a codename. Because their signature sigil kinda looks like a tensor product. and they’re a nerd

hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh that’s all i got for now

thank you for coming to my ted talk

[dkfd1997-blog]

My will as a child practiced as: -Studyin. I believed I was smart. and it was in my ability to learn so much and invent things or do something great. The act that it was within my ability made it my duty. I also embraced hard work. I studied for hours. I studied things until they were clearly memorized(litraure) or mastered(math). I felt at every time that I have reached the peak of knowedge as you can have in this lesson. I strived to know that I answered all the practice questions and that no question can surprise me. that I would get a 100% on every test. In high school that must have changed somewhat. It was impossible to achve perfection. but I tried really hard. I barely slept. I was heavily sleep deprived especially around exam times. There was SO MUCH that I had to study. SO MUCH SO MUCH. So I sstayed up and studied. It didn't serve me well. On the biology exam, I had to read every sentence multiple times because I would forget the beginning of a sentence by the time I reached its end. I was really diappointed. A friend of mine who had rejected me was saying "the boys don't study as much as the girls do. and that's what STEM education should be like. We should focus more on imagination and extracurriculars. I took some of that to heart. No one knows better than those who reject me, of course! The next semester, (I stopped by. I was so unhappy). I stopped working as hard. I really did. I think I might have gotten involved in more extracurricular. I think that might be when I started making male-friends. Aya really assited my social openess. I hink I might have loved it but I geninly don't remember. That must have also been the year when I was so stressed and annoyed at my friends for being loud when entering and leaving the room. The sligtest noise woke me up. I wonder if that was the worst year of my parents' fighting. I know I was so stressed. I think that's also whe I started intentionally procrastinating. Because studying wasn't so valuable. I guess a lot fell that year. Family wasn't valuable. Studying wasn't valuable. Reliogion as I had known has started to fall and I've succefully rejected arts of it. But that must be when I was also involved in off campus activities with Aya. That must have been really fun. I wonder. What year is this? That must be summer 2013-may 2014. Or maybe I was going off campus on the summer? I do't remember.

- Praying: Every day. Five times aday. I prayed. I did this physical and spiritual thing. It was sometimes mundane, some times theraputic, and sometimes very meaningful. I also knew tat if I didn't do it I was going t be tortured horribly so that must have complicated things. Anyway, I excercsed my will t do this ting. I did it when it was very boring. Sincce I was a kid I tried to do it every day, 5 times aday. I used my will and I learned to do it.

-Living according to my moral believes. I lived according to my understandng of islam. When it got me celebrated, and when it got me rediculed and exiled. (I lived there. ) It was hard. y'know. But it wasn't, really. I had resigned myself to doing it and I was not doubting that. I used my will because I had decided to live acodring to what God told me. I just wished I knew how to connect with people better from inside that moduality.

I wonder if I did that with studying too. Until I started doubting studying.

- Not hurting others.I think less explecitly, I wanted to be kind. I didn't want to hurt my mom. I didn't want to disappoint people. I didn't want to harm others. I didnt want to impose myself. The force of rejection by others was a strong force for me what if my parents prorammed me to be very senestive to rejection by them (more on that later). and when I tred to transfer my attatchment from my parents to my peers as everyone does, I was still very sensetive to rejection. And I was rejected quite oten because I had a clear, loud, very specific personality that I could have seen how it'd have turned some ppl off. (Or threatened them and they bullied me ...ughhhhh).

- Being Smart. I was proud that I was smart in all my decision. Smart meant different things for me at different times. But I have often chosen to make the smart decision. For me, smart means introspective now(maybe?)

- Be open to change when I saw a better way: I way abways looking for a better way to do things.

- Restrain myself against my parents when fighting.

- Exercise sometimes.

- Fasting sometimes. 

I haven't done most of those in a long time.

9/29/20

[inprecvr]

ok so i’m gonna write a tiny lil’ really frickin’ long intro for lennon just so her backstory is out there for u guys to look at ! she’s exactly the same as cristina personality wise, though without the mild sentimental connection to the santos family, so ig she’s .. ..  a lil worse , oops. if u had a connection w cris & want to keep it, just lmk ! & ofc if u’d like to plot something new with lennon like this & i’ll mssg u !

ok so ! a lil personality first for a reminder: lennon is a super sweet gal who seems, at first glance, entirely selfless. whilst working as a waitress she goes out of her way to cover shifts, give people extra coffee, and generally provide the best service with a smile you’ll find in the states. she seems as if she’s just stepped out of a disney film, with sparkling eyes and a laugh that seems warm and reassuring. lennon is, generally, the kind of friend you want to have, always willing to lend a shoulder to cry on and always willing to lend u that cute top she wore to that party last week . . . hA H AH SIKE ! bc we all know she’s cristina 2.0 and cristina would’ve sold half her family for a corn chip. lennon only cares about number one, herself, and is something of a sadist when it comes to emotional manipulation. she has carefully cultivated the perfect girl next door image and would kill to protect it, mainly bc without it ? she’s not having any fun. she takes nothing seriously, not even the most dire of situations, and is genuinely ? here 2 have a good time , so don’t kill her vibe ig .

trigger warnings for the bio: addiction, suicide, murder, violence, faking eating disorders, nd generally being a frickin awful, disgusting human being.

lennon knows nothing about her birth parents except the fact they were, or at least her mother was, addicted to heroin. she was born with neonatal abstinence syndrome, meaning she was practically addicted to heroin as soon as she left the womb, leaving her to be weaned off of it in the hospital, her parents taking that chance to abandon her.

her addiction was so severe she was kept in the hospital for months, unable to be given up for adoption or placed into the foster system due to her constant need for care and observation. eventually, at about five months, she was released into the care of a local home that specifically looked after NAS babies. her recovery was long, the first two years of her life being wracked with constant screaming, whining, and general clinginess, but eventually she stopped. her carers believed she’d simply grown out of it, but even as a child lennon began to form a detachment from the world around her.

she, like many other kids who were failed by the american care system, was repeatedly bounced around from home to home, despite being an incredibly well-behaved kid. it just seemed as if no one wanted her, seemed as if the world had chosen to turn its back on her before her life had even begun. again, the girl’s hatred for the world grew, hands itching with a violence she didn’t quite understand.

when she was thirteen, she was finally adopted, though by then it was far too late to save lennon from the path she’d chosen for herself. despite being all smiles and sugar cookies when she first arrived, her only thoughts were of death. not always experiencing it, but sometimes causing it, and 99% of the time those scenarios involved her adoptive parents.

she lived with them for five years, but spent those five years sowing seeds of distrust and self-hatred in, not only their minds, but everyone else’s who came across her. she manipulated her parents into believing they were doing a terrible job, though always reassured them that they were wonderful. she threw herself against walls and pulled out her own hair and then told her parents she was being severely bullied. at school, she sat in the toilet playing games on phone, making retching noises to act as if she were purposely purging. she convinced everyone around her that she was miserable without ever saying a word, and their guilt began to eat away at them. ( like literally whenever ppl asked she’d be like i’m fine nd like .. .  cry to make them stop asking her , manipulative binch )

anYWAYS , eventually she got a boyfriend and that was really when the idea started to become real. this guy was the type who believed he could save her, so in response, she began to mess with him. she left him notes around his room in his handwriting, sent his friends terrible messages, and dropped an anonymous note to his incredibly religious parents one day saying he’d been smoking pot. when he rang her on the verge of tears, believing lennon was the only one he had left, she made her suggestion. it was risky, but the adrenaline rush, the only thing lennon ever seemed to feel, was too much to deny. she thought she’d messed it up when he didn’t reply, she went to sleep that night thinking she’d been found out and that her ruse was over... but it wasn’t. when she woke the next morning her ‘mom’ sat her down and told her the terrible news. he’d killed himself.

whilst lennon continued doing this to two of her other friends, she managed to push her parents into divorcing, despite the fact they’d been so desperately in love before. they both decided soon afterward they couldn’t live without each other and, with one last kick from lennon who knew the only thing keeping them alive was her, she convinced them to also commit suicide by saying she was moving away after graduation and never coming back.

now eighteen, she left her town without so much as a goodbye to the people in it. people simply thought she was a poor girl in mourning, not being able to bear living in the town that took all her beloveds from her, when in reality she knew it was easier to remain hidden if you stayed on the move.

for three years lennon travelled from place to place, manipulating people into loving her and worshipping her, then watching as they lost everything. to this day, none of the deaths lennon has caused have been by her own hand, though that’s not to say she isn’t capable of murder. mistaking the girl for anything but a mindless sociopath would be a dangerous decision, one many admittedly make. she’s joined the a team for no reason besides being able to inflict misery on others. she has no one to protect, no one for a to use against her, and no one to worry about. all she cares abt is upholding her image, and she’ll do whatever it takes to do it.