#(other than my parent) inside the house (which i think is a stupid thing to do bc of that anyway but whatever)

[starcastic-artificer]

i would not wish work being done on your house in the morning upon my worst enemy

[jocelynscrazyideas]

I think of you, always || Quinn Hughes x Fem!Reader

inspired by the song affection by cigarettes after sex

Summary: After bit being able to tell the family if your bf, you meet his ex at a Christmas dinner. Getting jealous is super easy after hearing her get called pretty, you finish dinner and storm off.

Warnings: NOT PROOF READ!!! Smut, unprotected, language, harsh words towards someone.

『 °*• ❀ •*°』『 °*• ❀ •*°』 『 °*• ❀ •*°』

Meeting the family is difficult, meeting the friends is awkward. Have you thought about meeting the family when you’ve broken up a million thousand times?

Or worse, maybe the thought of being a very close family friend that is now dating one of three brothers, and now you have to “meet the family.”

Sounds easy, but once you realize the family wanted you to end up with the other brother, maybe it’s different.

Ellen and Jim, the Hughes parents, have always seen me with Luke, even Trevor. Trevor zegras is one of Jack’s hot friends that I can’t call hot. I’m 22. Fairly young. It’s forbidden to date older men, especially people the Hughes know.

The only reason why I have been chosen to have a future with the younger brother is because I’ve hung out with him more. I’ve always seen Quinn as another parent. He’s always watching out for me, he’s like another source of parenting. I didn’t hangout with him very much, until he had gotten into Michigan.

I graduated years earlier than I should have. My parents were moving to somewhere in Europe, but they were going to travel the world before they settled into the new home. So in order for me to move with them, I went homeschooled.

I got into Michigan, and I only applied to American schools, because being in Switzerland, and traveling to Monaco back in forth wasn’t fun.

Europe was only cool until my parents got a divorce. My dad also was moving to Italy after selling his home in Switzerland. Which kind of made me excited to see him. Italy is the place the Hughes spend some summers in.

~

The Hughes have been to my Monaco and newly Italian home several times. They love it there, but I get tired of it. My French is terrible, but Jack always tells me that I have an accent when I talk now because I’ve spent over half of my life in Europe. Apparently, I have a thick accent. Most of it is Italian, and a quarter of it is French, the rest is terrible English. “Say something in Spanish.” Luke mocks me.

For some reason they don’t believe me when I say I can speak four languages, “I told you, I speak French, Spanish, German, and Italian.” I roll my eyes and place the mashed potatoes onto the well decorated table.

Quinn touched my wrist, he sees that I have his very expensive watch on. I push my legging hugged ass back into his hips, he pushes back into me until Jim walks into the kitchen.

It’s an amazing Christmas break, the Devils have Christmas break at the same time as The Canucks, so everyone decided to come to Michigan and celebrate. Luke and I went down to Target to grab some cranberries for Ellen.

“I dunno why she always makes these, you hate them!” Luke laughs. He purchased the cranberry jar and stuffs it into a bag. I laugh and run my fingers through my cold brittle snowflake filled hair. “She likes them, she’s the cook, I don’t need to ask questions about her highness Hughes.” I bow and joked.

The thing about Luke, is he’s always laughing, he always understands me. Maybe that’s why Jim and Ellen love him for me? I’m not sure but I’m basically like their daughter. Somehow the boys were never my “brothers.”

I moved into their house for a year in Toronto because of my parents divorce. Jack was always at hockey, Luke never left my side and Quinn never hung out with me.

As soon as we got to the house I jumped out, and ran inside. I had the bag in my hand, Jack’s stupid shoes were sitting in the middle of the entry way.

I slipped and fell. I got up right away. The cranberries had spilled all over me from the jar. Glass crushed my hand. I don’t feel the pain, but as soon as Ellen comes rushing over from the kitchen I feel sharp tense pain in my wrist, and ass.

Luke runs in after me as he locks the car. He holds me up. He goes to grab the bandage kit they store in a closet. Ellen goes to grab the broom, and Quinn runs over to me to clean me up. Jim and Jack run out to get more cranberry jars for tonight’s big dinner.

I don’t question to holding onto Q for support, he brings me upstairs to his room. He sits me onto his bathroom counter and I feel my now bruised ass press agisnt the cold counter top.

Luke left us some bandages for Quinn to use on me. Luke left to go help his mother clean. Quinn and I are left alone.

~

It’s been 2 months of Quinn and I’s relationship. We haven’t told anybody, but it’s Halloween and I wnat a couple costume. Obviously I want to post the costumes for this year, so I’m left to wear something by myself.

~

Quinn kissed my cold cheek leaving a warm impression on my flushed face. He wraps my hand in pink bandage, and he helps me take my shoes and leggings off. Quinn changes me into some of his sweatpants, and a large shirt he has.

“Do you what them to know?” I ask.

Quinn pulled me into a warm hug. “Not yet, I’m not sure if my dad would be happy I’m the one you chose.” He rested his chin on top of my head.

“Well they will know because I have your clothes on, and they reek of your strong cologne.” I laugh. He holds my head as if i have a terrible headache.

He kissed my lips and carried me out of his personal bathroom. I walk to my room, and change into this gorgeous red dress, nice and lacy. I grab an ugly sweater and pull it over my head. Quinn changed into fancy- casual clothing to match my outfit.

We walk downstairs into a beautiful dining room, with a large Christmas tree that hangs fabulous ornaments that hold pictures of our childhood pictures. I notice that Ellen has labeled our sitting spots at the table.

I’m next to Jack, Luke next to my left, and quinn across from me. Ellen faces Jack, while Jim is sitting at the head, and the table is pressed up to the wall. So no one is sitting at the opposite side of Jim. There is an empty seat, I thought it was weird- Ellen never has an empty chair for family gatherings.

We stay eating, we pass peas, toast, mashed potatoes, stuffing, and cheese on a stick. Then we hear the door bell ring.

I thought, “Christmas carolers.”

no

“Mom?” Quinn gets up quickly. Ellen has been outside for a few minutes. She finally comes in. She grunts in frustration.”hey Quinn.” One of many the pretty girls Quinn has had a relationship with says. She walks up to him, hugs him and sets her bags down.

“You can sit here, and I’ll take Quinn’s seat.” Ellen nods,

“Mom! You knew about this?” Quinn drags her over to the Christmas tree. He lowered his voice.

Am I nervous that Quinn’s ex-girlfriend is here- while we just kissed upstairs, and to mention… He’s my boyfriend.

yes. Yes I’m petrified.

“Of course I did Quinn. She loves you still. I’m your mother. Switch seats with me.” Ellen walks him back to the table, straightening his ugly sweater on him.

“No. I like where I am.” Quinn sits down at his original seat. He places his foot on mine, letting me know he’s with me.

“Pretty.” I mouth to Quinn. He nods his head in agreement. He winks at me and he starts playing footsie with me. My dress folds right at the cut of my hip and thighs. Very short dress for a winter party.

Classical winter music continues over our dinner. Jim laughs at everything Jack says, Luke looks at me when I eat. I look at Luke when he eats. It’s just as if we’re still little and we fling Mac and cheese at eachother.

“Grub bub.” Luke laughs while drinking his apple cider. I laugh so hard I snort, Quinn starts laughing at me. Jack holds me in and sways me around. Yep, he’s drunk.

Ellen noticed the few glances Quinn and I make.

~

“Why don’t you help me clean up?” Jim waves Ellen up. We dismiss ourselves and we go back to our rooms. Quinn, well he takes his ex’s bags up to the guest room.

While they walk up here, “oh. I love that room, may I stay in it?” She walks into my room, and lays on the bed. “Comfy!” She giggles. I walk out if my closet, I suck my teeth this selfish bitch is in my bed.

“what. the. fuck.” I laugh in a rude manner. I see Quinn astonished, his mouth open. And so were her legs.

I push quinn out. I yell in his face, “get her up, or I’ll handle it myself.”

You could say I get jealous, but why did he seemed to enjoy it?

Ellen came running upstairs, “oh my!” Ellen grabs the girl out from her arm. She takes her bags and leads her to the basement guest room.

I was angry, I walking away. I had on a lacy black thong, and a navy blue spaghetti strap tank top, and some white sweat shorts on. The thong sits on my hips, and the shorts sit right on my pelvis bone. Most of my underwear was out. I ddint give a fuck. I had no bra on- “wow” Jack says while he walks his way to his own room.

“Nice one” Jack laughs at Quinn. Quinn watches me sit down in the living room couch, I turn the TV on. He comes running down to sit with me.

“Baby, come on. What was I supposed to do?” He whines.

I roll my eyes, “uh, I’m not sure- not let her walk into a room?! Im even more mad by the fact she had her legs spread open for you, and her boobs- Her Boobs! They were just out, it wasn’t her underboob or sideboob- I saw nips.” I yell out in frustration.

I get up and slide slippers on.

I get my keys and run out the door. I go for a drive, “wait no!” Quinn runs after me. I have slammed the door on his face.

~

After awhile- no phone, no internet, no way to find me, Quinn pulls his car right up next to me. Jack sits passenger. “What the hell?!” Quinn knocks on my window.

“Oh goodness! Thought you were a murderire!” I gasp.

“No. You don’t get to do that.” He yells- flailing his arms around. I see his breathe in the air. Quinn knocks on the door.

I roll down the window. Quinn bends down to see me. He kissed my face.

“I told Jack about us. Luke is pampering my “ psychotic bitchy ex” and my mom is waiting for us with hot chocolate.”

“What about-“

“Dad? Yeah no he’s gone. He’s sleeping away from his drunkness. And Jack can drive home because I sobered him up with the news about us.” Quinn rushes over the empty parking lot towards to Jack.

“Go. I’ll talk her back home.” Quinn whispered and nods his head at me. Jack crawls to the driver seat.

“You know her well Quinn! The only way to get back home is to hit 3rd base!” Jack yells out the window while pulling away. Quinn sits in the passenger seat of my car.

We’re alone in a parking lot inside a freezing car because my heater broke, and it’s the middle of winter with tons of axe murderres.

“He’s not wrong.” I look at Quinn.

Quinn mumbles, “mhm. I know.” He slides his hand onto my thigh.

I crawl to the backseat. My back hits the cold interior of the car. Quinn climbs ontop of me. He slides my tank top up, seeing my bare hard niopples. “Oh baby.” Quinn starts sucking on one. He slides a hand into my shorts.

I feel his warm but very cold hand touch my sensitive bud. He starts rubbing into my clit, he moans while he sticks one finger into my hole. He came up from my chest- he starts aggressively kissing me.

My tounge hitting his throat, his cum covered finger slides into my mouth. I suck onto my pussy juiced cover finger and Quinn unbuttons his dress pants. I feel his hard groin hit my bare torso. He’s hard- for me.

“Quinn-“ he holds my hands up with one of his own hand. He pulls off my shorts, he sees my new thong. “Impressive.” He moans. I sit up against the door. The windows are white, but not from the frost- but from our hard breathing.

Quinn stuffs his face into my pussy as if he’s still hungry from dinner. I start to cum, but Quinn pulls away from me. He holds my hand as I start rubbing myself. With his other hand, Quinn jerks iff to start some lubricant.

He starts rocking his hips into mine. I feel his cold tip touch what feels like my lungs. He holds my legs up. I know the car is rocking a ton. But I love it.

~

Quinn slaps my ass while I’m in doggy style. He fucks me hard, and he gets tired after a good 47 minutes.

~

I hope I get to finish him. I start sucking off his cum and playing with his sensitive balls. He leans his head back, letting me crawl up onto his chest. His phone rings.

“Hey dad? Whats wrong?”

“Where are you? Is y/n coming back?” Jim yells through the phone. I can hear the worry in his voice.

“Dad. Y/n. She’s fine.” I cut him off by kissing him. I turn our camera on and see Jim. Ellen is in the corner of the camera and screams. She jumps up and down.

“I knew you’d end up with one of my boys!” She smiled. She runs up to Jack and he twirls her around. Luke winks at us through the camera.

~

Quinn cuddles me in bed and warms my back up. I feel his warmth and love, I wish we announced our relationship before the dinner.

[svechnikovvv]

adore you

pairing: jack hughes x fem!reader

warnings: profanity

summary: jack has it down bad for you and you can’t seem to see that

a/n: sorry it’s taken me so long to publish this & for the sake of the fic, your fictionally older brother’s name is ryan

series masterlist: here

i get so lost inside your eyes / i’d walk through fire for you / lately you’ve been on my mind

it started when you & jack were both six.

***

you were in your front yard with your older brother and the two of you were playing hide and seek and it was his turn to count. you had the genius idea to hide in a tree because, why not? however, what you didn’t think about was how you’d get down.

“ready or not, here i come!” you hear ryan shout from the front porch. about five minutes pass and you think he won’t find you until you hear his voice.

“i see you y/n!” you look down below you and low and behold, your brother’s standing there with a shit-eating grin on his face.

“i don’t like you at all.” you pout and he laughs

“come on, it’s your turn to count.” you sigh dramatically and try your best to climb back down the tree. however, that plan seems to fail, and you fall out the tree onto your arm. a sharp pain shoots through your wrist and it has you immediately crying. ryan runs inside to go get your dad as you sit on the grass holding your hurting wrist.

a hand then outstretches itself to you and you look up and see a brunette boy smiling at you. he has one of his front teeth missing. you give him your hand that’s not hurting and he helps you up.

“what’s your name?” you sniffle and his smile grows

“i’m jack. i just moved in next door.” jack thought you were the prettiest girl his little six year old eyes had ever laid themselves on. and you, of course, thought boys still carried cooties.

“y/n, sweetheart, let’s get you to a hospital.” both you and jack look at your dad coming outside with ryan behind him.

“ill see you later. i hope your wrist is okay.” jack says his goodbyes and you, your brother, and dad head to the hospital.

the three of you got home late that night and sure enough, you broke your wrist. you had to get a cast later that week and it was very difficult to try and figure out how to go about your day with it on.

a knock sounds through your house and your dad answers it.

“y/n, there’s someone here for you!” you get off the couch where you were watching cartoons and head over to the door and see jack standing there with a bag of sharpies.

“i came to sign your cast,” he smiles and you look down at the white, barren cast with no signatures and you hold out your wrist to him. jack scrawls his name in big letters on your cast with a little doodle off hockey stick next to it, and your dad watches the small interaction with a smile on his face.

“jack, why don’t you tell your parents that they should come over tonight for dinner.” jack looks up at the sound of your father’s voice and nods, taking his bag of sharpies and heading back home.

this was the start to an amazing friendship.

***

ever since that day, jack and you have been inseparable. you two were like siamese twins. wherever one went, the other wasn’t far behind. he stuck with you throughout the awkwardness in middle school, which was peak jack & y/n.

the big question: did you ever see him as anything more than a best friend? not really. but jack? he was head over heels for you, and it only got worse in highschool.

jack knew it was stupid to have a crush on his best friend for this long, but look at you. you were his dream girl. he swore to himself that he would wait as long as he had to for you.

you were so supportive of his hockey career and came to every game you could attend. you would also support his brothers and he loved how you bonded with them like they were your own. you remembered everything he told you and you always threw him the best surprise parties for his birthday. you got along with his friends, and to be honest, they thought the two of you were a thing to begin with.

but a bonus? seeing you sport his jersey at every single hockey game. there was nothing more rewarding than seeing you cheering for him in the stands with that familiar hughes jersey. to top it off, you’d always wait for him after every game to give him his post-game hug.

“sweaty or not, hughes, i need my post-game hug.” was your go-to line and jack would be lying if he said he didn’t have it memorized. like the way he memorized how your eyes lit up when he’d come out the locker room. or the way your nose would scrunch up when he’d get his sweat on you. jack noticed everything about you.

fast forward to his draft day. you wet right by his side and you could sense the nerves radiating off of him. with quinn in the league, he felt like he had a lot to live up to. but when they called his name for the first overall pick, that all flew out the window.

***

both you and jack looked at each other with shocked faces and you both stood up, embracing the other in a hug. you weren’t even the one being drafted, but the moment still felt so surreal to you. the ringing in your ears had become louder and it felt like only you and jack were in the room.

you pull apart from the hug and place both hands on jack’s shoulders. tears were streaming down your face and you were wearing the biggest smile. jack swore that in that moment, nobody was more beautiful than you. his y/n. and that’s when reality set in with him. the girl he’s lived next to for most of his life, he’s be leaving soon. he wouldn’t get to see you every day. he wouldn’t get to take just a couple steps next to his house and already be at yours. no, you guys would be miles apart now.

he broke out of his thoughts and shoved them down, focusing on the present.

“i’m so proud of you, j.” he swiped the tears away from under your eyes and pressed a kiss to your forehead. he then gave the rest of his family hugs and walked to the stage to receive his devils’ jersey. the whole time he had his eyes focused on you. the fluorescent lighting above lit up your face just enough to make you look ethereal in his eyes, even more than you already did.

***

jack will say, his rookie year was tough. and even more so because he didn’t have you by his side at all. you were at boston, the school you’ve dreamed of going to and he couldn’t be more proud of you.

***

you had the hughes clan plus your dad and brother with you in your living room as you propped up your ipad and dialed jack, and on the second ring, he picked up.

“hey gorgeous.” he smiled from the other side

“woah j, your hair’s growing out.” you paused “please don’t say you’re getting a mullet.” everyone laughed and shook his head

“not these luscious locks. who’s with you?” you maneuver the ipad to show everyone with you and he says hi to everyone and they catch up for a bit before ellen nudges you.

“right.” you cough a bit and jack’s attention falls onto you and you hold up an envelope from boston university.

“is that?” you nod

“the answers lie in this envelope and i’m shaking so bad right now because oh my god jack, what if i don’t get in?” your rambling was always one of his favorite things about you.

“hey, whatever happens, happens. just know, it’ll all be okay, alright? you’re a smart girl, so boston would be stupid not to accept you.” you take a deep breath in and nod. ellen places a hand on your shoulder reassuringly.

“okay, here goes nothing.” you carefully tear open the envelope and pull out a piece of paper folded up into threes. you look back at jack and he nods encouragingly. you unfold the paper and begin to read it.

accepted

you drop the paper and look at jack, tears welling into your eyes.

“well?” he asks eagerly

“i got accepted!” you start to cry and jack’s smile widens.

“oh my god!” ellen’s the first to pull you into a hug and jack wishes nothing more than to be there right now, holding you in his arms.

“awh, jack’s crying.” luke says, and you pull away from the hug to look at the ipad in front of you. you sit back down and wipe at your eyes, softly smiling.

“don’t let your mascara run over me, j.” he laughs and looks up, then looking back at you.

“i’m so so proud and happy for you, y/n/n. more than you know.”

***

ever since college started for you though, communication hasn’t been the best between the two of you. you’ve both been so busy with your own things, and when you do talk, it’s not for very long.

however, when jack gets an invitation in the mail that says, “you’re invited to y/n l/n’s graduation!” he cancels anything he had planned on that date and he makes it his priority to be there.

***

jack wore one of his game day suits since the red would go well with the school colors and he makes the long drive to boston. he sees his mom’s familiar car and parks near it, getting out and making his way to look for his family and yours. once he spots them, due to luke’s tall head, he makes his way over.

“jack!” his mom is the first one to give him a hug and he smiles, hugging her back.

“hey ma, i missed you.”

“oh i missed you too sweetheart.” they pull apart and he says more hellos to the rest of his family, then taking his spot beside your brother. soon, the ceremony begins and when your name is called, everyone erupts into cheer. jack’s smile could not possibly get bigger than it is right now. you did it. you finally did it.

once everyone was called, the graduates were allowed to go to their families. you stood on a chair to look for the hughes’ and your dad and brother when you suddenly feel two arms wrap around your waist, twirling you around. you’re laughing and they set you down and you’re face-to-face with jack. you didn’t know if he’d be able to make it or not. and when did he get so muscly?

“oh my god. jack!” you jump into his arms and he laughs, holding you up. “you’re here. you’re really here.” you whisper and he places a kiss to the side of your head.

“i wouldn’t miss your graduation even if i was on my death bed. nothing is more important than watching you walk across that stage.” you sniffle and oh how you missed your best friend.

“i did it, j.”

“and i’m so proud of you, you hear me?” he sets you back down and pulls apart to look at you.

“i thought i was the only one that looks good in red, but i’m starting to think you proved me wrong.” you laugh and the sound is so melodic to jack’s ears. he needed to tell you how he felt soon, because seeing you right now is making his heart have palpitations.

***

since your graduation, you’ve moved to jersey and you teach first grade at one of the local elementary schools. jack was ecstatic when you told him you were moving to jersey. he even convinced you to buy a place near him. he even introduced you to his teammates. they all loved you, of course, and jack was glad to see you getting along with them.

he even bought you a hughes jersey and a ticket to the devil’s home opener. it was one thing to watch him play on your tv, but in person on the ice? even better.

that soon became a routine: go to every devil’s home game that you could and of course take pictures for your students to see.

fast forward to today. it was raining nonstop today and you had to have indoor recess for the kids, so you’d been stuck with them longer than usual, and you were starting to develop a headache. the odds just weren’t in your favor today.

as you were driving home, your tire went flat so you were stuck in the rain on the side of the road. so you call the only person you could think of.

“j, can you come pick me up? my tire went flat on the side of the road.”

in ten minutes, jack’s pulling up near your car and you get out and make your way to his passenger side. the car is a lot warmer compared to the outside temperature and you turn on your seat-warmer to hopefully help you a bit. in no time, he’s pulling up to your house and you get out without saying a word to him. you were tired and needed a nap and an advil.

“hey, what’s wrong?” he grabs your wrist before you can get inside and you shake your head. his headlights were beaming on the two of you and they were making your head hurt even more. the cold rain was also pelting down on the two of you and you hated the feeling of wet clothes.

“nothing. i’ve just had an awful day.” you release your wrist from his hold and walk up your front steps, putting the key in the door.

“i’m always here to listen, you know?”

“yes, jack, i know. but my head is killing me so i need to go lay down and get out of these wet clothes.”

“why won’t you talk to me? you used to tell me everything.” this set you over the edge and you turned around.

“jackson hughes, we’re grown adults now. we’re not the kids we used to be.”

“okay, but i’m your best friend.” you let out a frustrated sigh because you could not believe he was doing this right now.

“just go home, okay? we can talk about it tomorrow.”

“don’t you see it?” he says weakly

“quite frankly, i can’t see anything. there’s rain on my glasses. but enlighten me as to why you have me standing here in the pouring rain confused, rowden.” you used his middle name. you hardly ever did that.

“i’m in love with you, y/n! how blind are you? i’ve been so in love with you since the day you fell out your tree years ago when we were six. you’re all i think about before i go to sleep and when i wake up. and it’s been so hard to be your best friend all these years when all i want is nothing more than to be your boyfriend. lately you’ve been on my mind more than usual and when you- god, when you look at me with those eyes.

“i get lost. i forget where i’m at and i want to bask in that feeling forever. the feeling of just your eyes on me. like my draft day back in 2019 when it felt like we were the only two in the room. you’re the only person i’ve ever considered seeing myself with.”

you were rendered speechless. you cant lie and say that the thought of dating jack hadn’t crossed your mind before, because it has. it’s like the stars aligned because next thing you know, your feet are carrying you to jack and you attach your lips to his. he’s quick to reciprocate and you feel those metaphorical fireworks go off.

the two of you pull away and jack’s smiling wide.

“does this mean-” you cut him off and hit his shoulder, making him laugh.

“yes. now turn your car off and come inside where it’s warm.” he nods and you head inside, making your way to your bathroom to grab towels for the both of you.

“leave your shoes by the door!” you call out from your bedroom and jack makes his way to you, and you stick out some dry clothes to him.

“you can use the guest shower.” he nods and the two of you take your showers to better clean yourselves and change into the dry clothes.

later that night, you’re cuddled up on the couch together, going through a keepsake box you had (which was an old shoe box). you then pull out a card and both jack and you give each other a confused look. you open the card and gasp when you do. jack had a look of remembrance on his face as well and your heart melts at the memory.

***

you loved valentine’s day because it meant free candy and what seven year old doesn’t like free candy? the teacher let the girls pass out their valentines to the class first, and then the boys did theirs.

you were sitting at your desk, coloring away at a valentine’s day coloring sheet the teacher printed out for everyone, when a teddy bear, a card and some candy is placed in front of you. you set your fuchsia crayon down and look up to see jack standing there, face reddening.

“happy valentine’s day y/n.” he gave you his one-missing-tooth smile and you smiled back at him.

“thank you jack. i love it!”

***

“i should’ve seen the signs back then.” you trace your finger over jack’s first grade handwriting and softly smile, setting the card back in the box.

“whatever happened to that bear i got you?” you get up and walk into your bedroom, coming back out with the small, stuffed bear. jack gasps and you fondly smile at him.

“i couldn’t get rid of rowdy.”

“rowdy?” he quirks a brow at you and you nod

“named him after my favorite person ever.” jack pulls you into his side and kisses the side of your head.

he adored you more than anything in this world.

tags: @goldenbrokenheart @liquidflyer @alhanna05 @woodruff-edwards @i-padfootblack-things @fanboysfangirl @hughesx3 @austinbutlerscaresme @theywantedplayer @jackhues @marauderzkinnie @jackhughesily @babydollmarauders @akengii @bordeleaubeau @tomhollandsbabymama @starsandhughes @nowandkei @angzls @jhughesl0v3r

a/n: GAH, having mixed emotions about this

[countrymusiclover]

1 - Matching Marks

Part 2

It’s About Time

Tags just ask - @lover-of-books-and-tea @bvbwestfall l @bubble-blu @liesanddreams @bethanymccauley @skeletonontheroad

What defines a Best Friend. A best friend is somebody who is always there. A best friend will do the most stupid and dangerous stuff with you most of the time. A best friend relationship however will make things rather complicated when you start developing feelings for them…for me that was around age 15 -16. But I'm getting ahead of myself. Let's go back to age 12.

Georgie and I were running around the backyard of his house chasing each other. My parents were out on a date night so I was staying over at his place. We were in middle school during that time. “Y/n, I’m gonna get you.” He called out to me while he was nearly on my heels.

“Yeah right, Cooper - ah ow!” I suddenly tripped on a part of the swingset. I held my wrist seeing some cuts across my right wrist but it didn’t seem dislocated or anything.

Georgie came rushing over to check on me. “Y/n, are you okay?”

“I think I’m gonna be okay. But this is all your fault.” I snapped showing him the scrapes on my wrist that weren't just a little cut.

He slumped his shoulders. “I’m sorry but what do ya want me to do about it?”

“Make me feel better.” I answered him with a snarky remark.

Georgie bites his lip for a second thinking until he saw a somewhat sharp rock on the ground by the swing which was what I had tripped on. He picked it up drawing it across the same wrist as mine doing his best to copy the marks I had. “There now we have the same mark. We are even.”

“Ya know only a real friend would do something like that, Georgie.” I said when he helped me up off the dirt ground looking up into his eyes since he was barely taller than me.

He sent me a cheeky smile, bumping my cut wrist with his own. “We’re best friends. Always have, always will be.”

Laying on the couch in the living room of my house I was on my own until my parents came home from work after getting done with school for the day. Somebody knocked on the front door and I bolted upright knowing who it was. Opening the door, Georgie stood on my front porch. “What are you doing here?”

“Thought you’d be bored and my Meemaw sent me for beer and said she’d tip me in fire crackers. You wanna come with me?” He asked me.

I shake my head grabbing my coat at the same time. “I don’t know. Can’t we get arrested for this?”

“Possibly but only if we get caught and I think I can be pretty convincing.” Georgie didn’t see my worry with it.

Shrugging on my jacket I followed him to his meemaw’s car knowing she trusted me to drive. I was only a few months older than him so she knew I was closer to getting my drivers license then he would be. “Okay, I’ll drive but you go into the store. My parents will have my ass if they find out.” I warned him starting the car and we headed to the store.

We pulled into one of the closests parking spaces since she had handicap plates giving me a view of the cashier woman who looked to be his meemaws age. “If you’re lucky she won’t ask too many questions. I’ll be waiting here.” He shut the car door and went inside. I kept a close eye on the women while he was in the back getting a case of beer that she liked before going to the counter.

Georgie and the cashier were chatting up for a few good seconds then coming out with the case in hand. He came outside putting the bag down on the floorboard looking at me. “I can’t believe my accent worked.”

“You’re what now?” I raised a brow at him.

He looked back at me. “I used an Italian accent.”

“Georgie…” I groaned, hitting my head on the steering wheel where the horn went and the front entrance of the store door flung open with the elderly woman shouting at us.

“Give me back that beer!”

Georgie whipped his head around to me panicking. “Go, go!” I slammed my foot on the gas and spun the steering wheel around until we were out of the parking lot and away from the store. I wasn’t sure how fast I was going or if the cops were on us because I didn’t stop driving until we got back to the Cooper house.

“I can’t believe I just did that.” Sliding down in the driver’s seat to hide from someone’s view.

Georgie chuckled, reaching into the bag taking out one of the beers pointing it in my direction. “You wanna celebrate. I doubt she’ll know it’s missin’.”

“No! We’re only 14.” I raised my voice at him quickly getting out of the car. Going inside the house I covered my ears hearing music blaring through the house and figured it was coming from his sister's room she shared with Sheldon. When their memaw babysat there were no rules.

Sheldon, who was playing cards with his memaw, saw me standing by the kitchen backdoor. “Y/n, are spending the night?”

“I’m not sure. Why do you ask?” I questioned him.

He replied looking back at his cards. “I am just making sure that you won’t mess up my bathroom schedule.”

“I don’t think I will.” I lowered my hands from my ears the second the backdoor opened and Georgie came in carrying the bag.

Memaw turned in her chair across from Sheldon when he handed her the bag. “They give you any trouble?”

“Nah. Oh yeah, change.” Georgie reached inside his pocket holding it out to her.

She held her hand up., handing him some packs of firecrackers. “You keep it. Here you go ... .hey unless you want me to take them back you better give me my missing bottle.” She paused searching through her bag noticing the bottle.

“Fine…” He grumbled hearing me chuckling behind him. “Be quiet Y/n.”

“I told you she’d notice. I tried to warn ya.” Shrugging my shoulders we both walked outside into the backyard.

Georgie lights off the first firecracker throwing it in the grass and it made a loud boom making contact. He hands me the next one nudging my arm. “Give it a go.” I nodded, throwing it up into the air and it hit the grill creating the same boom.

“Wow…Georgie, can I ask you something?” I spun on my feet throwing my hair in my face.

He stands close to me still holding onto the pack of firecrackers in his hands. “What is it, darling?”

“Are we always going to be my best friend? I mean I know we have these marks but does this mean the same to you as it does to me?” Rolling up my jacket sleeve I showed him the familiar cut mark.

Georgie smiled, putting his wrist with the mark up against mine. “We’ll always be friends.” I nodded but I had hoped he would be able to read between the lines someday that I maybe wanted more.

Comments really appreciated ❤️

[writing-with-emy]

Could you do Elliot (euphoria) relationship hc’s where reader is a drug addict and bulimic only if you’re comfortable Ofc if you’re not then that’s fine hope you have a lovely day/night

ELLIOT MASTERLIST | prompt list | requests are open | tw: talk about bulimia & drug addiction / abuse, mentions of throwing up, self hatred, Panic Attack, minor mention of sexual contend like really short,

A/N: I'm not even gonna lie I totaly forgot that I still had this in my drafts, If there are some mistakes (which there probably are since I didn't wrote this in Google Docs) feel free to correct me! I needed to read a bit into Bulimia and how it is for the ones having it, since I never had it, so if it’s in any kind offensive, I am so sorry, feel free to correct me!

•you two met at a party, he just accidentally ran into you, but he recognized you from History class, one of the classes you shared

•You made innocent small talk, it was short but enough to stay in his mind which was impressive, because he probably wouldn‘t keep Someone he shared a class with and randomly run into, in his mind.

•so the next time you saw him in Class, he actually gave you a little smile which you returned.

•he watched you a bit during class, even though he never really paid attention to any of the other kind of students seeing you, made history a bit more interesting for him.

• well that all changed when your teacher actually put you two together for a project

• you first met up in his house, the first time actually doing your work you needed to do, but since he is Elliot the second time you‘re over, he just randomly starts asking your questions about yourself

• so you actually made some small talk, until you came more and more into other things you could talk about

• but since you guys met up at both of your places, it was a normal occurrence that your mom would walk in on you both checking if you would really make your homework and not just talk or do other inappropriate stuff

• so when you actually had enough you only met at his place, because let’s face it, parents can be annoying sometimes

• he didn‘t really think much about, when you called meet up’s off, because "you weren‘t feeling well"

• because he didn‘t need to know, that you actually had a binge, and forced your body to throw it up

• or that drugs made it easier for you to force your body to do it

• the day you actually came together and shared your first kiss together, made you happy and anxious at the same time.

• dealt with bad relationships before, leaving you for better and much more prettier people, you get anxious about yourself

• it makes you feel less like a person, seeing that everybody who left you, left you for someone who is better than you even if it's just in your eyes like that

• like not only partners, but also some friends did.

• so when you slept over the first time, your parents thinking your sleeping over at some girl friends house, he asked if you wanted to smoke something

• “You want some?“, he asked looking at you, with a Joint in his hand.

„Nah, I don‘t really like weed. It isn‘t mine.“, you said looking at him from his bed, while he was sitting in his open window.

• well he doesn’t need to know, that when you get high on some weed, you binge eat a lot, like so much you throw up because of that.

• “Shit really? Wouldn’t miss this to be fair.“, he said, lightning it up.

„Yeah, but other stuff is more mine.“, you said, watching him blowing the smoke out of the window.

„Like What?“ he asked, looking at him.

„Well pills, and sniffing, I tried like speed, fentanyl, MDMA, heroin, what ever was given to me at a party kind of.“, you stated.

„Really?“, he looked at you, his eyes scanning your face questioning if he really wants you to do that.

„Yeah, like fentanyl a bit more often, not only on party’s, but not like in an addict way you know.“, well that was a lie, you reminded yourself, your nose shows that probably from the inside.

„I have some if you want.“, was it stupid from him? Yes. Did he care? Not really, he loved to share with you, so why not that too? And well it would probably be just a one time thing.

• well that one time became more and more often

• It was another morning waking up next to Elliot, seeing him laying there in his plaid pants, sleeping when all you were in was just one of his shirt

• you looked around in the mild lighted up room, hearing the birds from outside making noise before looking back at Elliot with a slight smile

• you looked next to you, where still some powder was from the night before, you took it and well sniff it

• normally you two would start off your day with that, but you didn‘t mind doing it alone.

• afterward you put it back in its place before laying down again, cuddling up to Elliot

• who slightly stirred awake, throwing his arm over you half asleep only open his eyes a bit and giving you a little smile

• you returned the smile looking at him and putting your Hand on his cheek

• he would give you a kiss on your forehead, before closing his eyes again and pulling you more against him

• once you woke up a second time you go to the kitchen grab something to eat (mostly only cereal) before going back to his room.

• when he brought Jules and Rue to one of your dates, out of nowhere, you kinda felt nervous, meeting people wasn‘t really yours, that’s why drugs made it easier for you at party’s.

• they both greeted you, knowing you kind of from classes you had with them.

• you knew they both dated, but seeing kinda how close Elliot, Rue and Jules are made you kinda doubt yourself

• you were at the cinema, so when Rue goes to the toilet telling Jules and Elliot she just has to pee even though she hasn‘t even drank something you took the opportunity to go, a few minutes after her, to the toilet

• when you got into the toilet, you heard someone sniffing something, only one stall closed knowing it was Rue

• you go into the stall next to her closing it, nervous, about what to do

• but then you decided to jump over your shadow and just asked her

• „Rue?“, you asked

„Fuck..“, you heard her mumble.

„Don‘t lie to me alright? I know you have something, can I like have something? I‘m going crazy right now and I forgot mine.“, you stated.

You heard her climb up the toilet before looking over the wall between you, to look at you.

„You do drugs?“, she asked confused.

„Yeah, or else I wouldn‘t get it over with school.“, you said, looking up to her.

„Promise you won‘t tell anyone?“, she asked.

„If you don‘t say anything, I‘m gonna keep my lips closed.“, you said.

She just nodded and gestures to you to come to her stall, which you did.

•Long Story Short, you sniffed something with her, no idea what it was, but it made you feel better.

• that was the first time and certainly not the last doing stuff with rue, with her just randomly asking

• when Elliot, dropped you off at your place it was a quick good bye, because you wanted to go in the house and just eat

•which you did, you eat til you couldn’t and then just sniffed some fentanyl, which has the side effect of throwing up, so with whatever you got from Rue, plus yours, plus the wood up to the brim, you ran into the bathroom and threw everything inside you stomach up into the toilet.

• the first time Elliot saw you just binge eat, it was kinda shocking to him

• he never thought much about, when you just didn‘t wanted to eat anything, or just called of dates for being "sick"

• it would‘ve made you cry, if you already didn‘t have done it.

• binge eating like you just had, made you feel out of control, not only about the food, but also about yourself

• that plus the stress of eating just catching you binge eat, made you so ill to the stomach, that you ran into the toilet, locking yourself in and throw up

• you were sure, that this would be the end of your relationship, he saw how sick you really were, he saw your drugs next to you already ready to sniff the lines, and the whole empty packages of food lying on your bed

• when you stopped throwing up, you were just hanging over the toilet crying, hating yourself for letting him see it

• but when he knocked on the bathroom door, trying to talk to you, you tried to not let your sobs be too loud

• but you didn‘t really listen to him, his voice was drowned out by the pounding in your ears that’s caused by your heart

• you started sweating, hands shaking, your breathing fastening

• Elliot heard your breath becoming louder cause by becoming faster from mere seconds

• he tried coming in, wiggling the doorknob like crazy, since that wasn’t the first panic attack he witnessed

• you tried to stand up as best as you legs let you, opening the door, before sliding down the wall next the door

• the only reason you opened the door was, that you were more than afraid that you are going to die, like right on the spot.

• you never had a panic attack this worse, to be fair Elliot never seen a panic attack that worse either, so he was kinda scared of what is going to happen even if he kept a calm demeanor outside he was freaking out in the inside

• he sat down right in front of you, taking your face in his hands trying to focus your mind on him and nothing else

• with his help, you actually calmed down in a few minutes, and just stayed a crying mess

• he cleaned up your bed, before laying down with you, so you could tell him what’s going on

• so when you explained to him what’s going on, he was shocked to say the least

•he knew that you took drugs more than just a couple of times but so did he, but now knowing that it has to do, with you being bulimic he has a whole another look on the whole situation

• you were diagnosed with Bulimia real soon, once your parents catched you like Elliot did and send you to a therapist

• but you were always a good liar, so lying after being officially cured from Bulimia to your therapist wasn‘t hard or to your parents

• your only binge eat when they weren’t there, if it happens that you do it while they were home, that’s when the candy comes to show

• your parents never really searched your room for something, that’s what made it easy for you to hide the drugs you had, and the emetics

• the first „I love you“ fell afterwards between you after like 7 Months of dating

• you explained everything to him, even how afraid you are that he is going to leave you for someone better or prettier or healthier

• „I‘m not going anywhere“ - Elliot

• we‘re going to pretend that he is not going sleep with Jules in this scenario, and he and Jules are only friends and nothing more we're delulu here.

• after that day he became extremely cautious about you and how you were doing

• he tried to help you going away from your ED, and drugs, but as it seems, the ED was easier than the Drugs

• he didn‘t go home after that, he stayed with you for the rest of the day and even slept over

• he researched how to help you, what to do, to support you and getting you away from it

• so he tried as often has he can to bring you out to eat, or like order something to eat at his place

• since your parents are a lot away for work, he helps you go shopping for food and meals

• he brings you with him, when he goes out eating with friends or his cousin

• he told his cousin a bit more what’s going on, with you than with Rue and Jules

• when you slept over the other day, you guys were cuddling up in his bed, watching „Undercover Underage“ (I’m obsessed with the show right now)

• „You know, you don‘t have to pretend, not with me alright.“, he said out of nowhere.

You looked at him a bit confused, before nodding.

„I know.. you make me feel save..“, you said, giving him a little smile.

• another change point for you was when you slept together after he found out that you have an ED

• he took way more time in telling you that you were beautiful and worshiping your body

• Elliot is really someone, who wouldn’t know what to do at first, but after a bit of researching he would be supportive and make everything in your tempo and be the calm one in the situation

• he tried also to get you away from the whole drug stuff

• he tried to tell you that he would clean with you, even though he kept doing it with rue (yk the whole suitcase situation with Rue)

• but he knew, he loved you, like no one else before, and he wanted to keep you, even if he needed to lie a bit about his drug consume

• if this whole relationship would be a Taylor Swift song I mostly kinda feel like „Willow“ from the Evermore Album or „Ours“ von Speak Now (Taylor’s Version)

•or like other songs that match your energy are probably:

- teen romance by Lil Peep

- Love Buzz by Nirvana

• like you had people probably look at you two like „Well they shouldn’t be together“ or something like that

• Rue and Jules we‘re probably too like „They Look good together, Odd but good.“

[queenshelby]

An Illicit Affair

Part 46: Backflash

Pairing: Cillian Murphy (47) x Reader (24)

Warning: Age-Gap, Taboo Relationship, Infidelity

Please comment and engage it means a lot to me and keeps me motivated 😇

Backflash to when you first met Cillian...

It was quite a sunny weekend for the month of May when Max first introduced you to his parents in Dublin which, at the time, was a nerve-wracking experience for you. 

By that point in time, you were already unsure whether you and Max would make it through the next year, but you went along nonetheless, almost selfishly, wanting to keep your options open.

When you arrived at their somewhat luxurious house in Dublin, it was Cillian who opened the door for you, first greeting his son Max before introducing himself to you, as if you didn't already know who he was. 

"Hi, I'm Cillian. Come on in," he greeted you warmly, taking your hand in his and giving it a gentle shake and, at first, you were taken aback slightly when you saw him.

You smiled nervously as you couldn't stop staring at him. At that time, Cillian still looked quite different. His hair was greying nicely and was a tat longer than now. He was rather skinny too, having just finished filming Oppenheimer but you thought that he was incredibly attractive, nonetheless, even more so than on TV. 

You couldn't help but notice the resemblance between Cillian and Max as they stood next to each other, especially when it came to their piercing blue eyes and freckles. It was just that Cillian looked more seasoned, with a few wrinkles  around his eyes and mouth, but it only added to his charm. He had a regal aura about him, which was only amplified by his handsome features and confidence. It was hard not to be drawn to him, and you felt a twinge of guilt for thinking that.

"Nice to meet you, Sir," you replied eventually after a long pause, letting go of his hand quickly to hide your sudden nervousness.

"Sir?" he laughed off your formal introduction and gave you an impish smile. "Please, just call me Cillian."

"Alright, Cillian," you blushed slightly, feeling stupid for your response.

"That's more like it," he winked before turning to address Max. "And you, son, how's uni going? How did you go with the exams?" Cillian asked Max with a smile, but his tone was full of paternal concern as he ushered you both inside.

Max shrugged nonchalantly and replied, "It kinda sucks," letting out a small sigh as he rubbed the back of his neck. "I am thinking about quitting, dad," he voiced  hesitantly.

Cillian's face was stern for a moment, his eyes scanning Max closely as he processed the weight of these words before nodding slowly. "Well, it's a decision only you can make," he responded thoughtfully, which was a response that surprised you. 

"Year two exams are the worst," you chimmed in. "Max might find the next semester a bit easier and more interesting," you explained to Cillian before giving Max a reassuring smile and hoping that it might cheer him up a little.

Cillian looked at you with a thankful glance before nodding slowly in agreement. "There you go," he responded after a while, a bit thoughtful, but then he changed the subject and turned his attention to you instead.

"So, Y/N, Max mentioned that you are at med school together?" he asked curiously and you quickly nodded.

"Yes, I am at the end of my third year," you explained to Cillian just before you heard another voice from the hallway.

"Y/N is a tat older than Max, which isn't necessarily a bad thing," a rather attractive woman in her forties said as she approached you, taking off her gardening gloves, before hugging Max tightly.

"I am Danielle," she then said to you  with a warm smile. "Max's mum," she said as she shook your hand firmly.

"Nice to meet you, Danielle," you replied quickly, still in shock that Cillian's wife had just introduced herself to you. "I am Y/N," you added quickly and politely, which earned you a smile from Danielle.

"Yes, I know who you are. Max told me a lot about you," Danielle replied while rubbing Max's back and giving him a kiss on the cheek, seemingly happy to see him. 

"Oh good, I am glad," you lied quickly, and it was at this point that you picked up some tension between Cillian and his wife. It was obvious to you that they had been fighting and , although you did not want to pry, you could not help but feel a little curious.

As the afternoon progressed, Cillian and Danielle seemed to avoid each other as much as possible, opting to spend time with Max and you separately instead.

Eventually though you overheard a conversation between them both, as the tension had clearly become too much for both of them. 

Max, too, noticed his parents interaction with one another and sighed. "They do this all the fucking time," he sighed as he had noticed your ears dropping in on their discussions. 

"Dad has been cheating on her and she's hurt I suppose," he explained to you, shaking his head with a frustrated look on his face.

"Really?" you asked, earning yourself a puzzled look from Max. 

"Of course. I mean, wouldn't you be furious if I was cheating on you?" Max asked, rolling his eyes at you.

"Uhm, no. I mean, yes. Is he really cheating on her though?" you wondered out loud, wondering how much there was to these allegations before abandoning the topic abruptly. "You know what, it's none of my business and you really should stay out of it too, Max. This is between them if infidelity is what it is about," you quickly backtracked, not wanting to get involved in the personal matters of Cillian and Danielle.

But despite what you had said, you couldn't help but feel a twinge of disappointment and sadness towards the situation. It seemed like the tension between them had been ongoing for quite some time, and it was unfortunate to see them both in such a painful position.

You pushed the thought out of your mind as the afternoon went on, participating in small talk with Max and Cillian while Danielle opted to stay in the garden, enjoying the fresh air and sunlight.

"Do you want to watch a movie?" Cillian eventually asked, cutting through the awkward tension that had built up in the room.

"Sure. But Y/N here has weird taste when it comes to cinematography,"  Max chuckled, breaking the tension with a joke.

"Oh really?" Cillian chuckled before turning to you. "What kind of movies do you like?" he then asked  , curiosity piqued.

"Well, I like to watch a wide variety of films. But, I really like some of the classics," you explained somewhat nervously, seeing how Cillian was a famous actor and you had not seen the majority of his films. 

"Y/N likes black and white movies and, I don't know, weird Indies and shit like that," 

Max chirped in, trying to be funny as he looked at Cillian hoping that his remark would lighten the mood but it had the opposite effect.

Cillian raised an eyebrow at Max's rude comment and shot him a piercing glare of his own, but before either of them could say anything else, you chimed in.

"Max and I can never agree on what to watch, so maybe no movie then," you chuckled  nervously, feeling a bit awkward with the tension that had just arisen.

But Cillian quickly recovered and said, "Okay, well, how about you take Y/N for a walk and show her around? You could take Scout with you? Spend some quality time together," Cillian finished, his gaze softening as he glanced at the black Lab sitting loyally beside him.

"That sounds great," you responded with a genuine smile, grateful for the reprieve from the tension that had come to a head earlier but Max sighed.

"No, that sounds boring," he complained, his shoulders sagging slightly as he looked between Scout and you.

"Right, uhm, I don't know then Max," Cillian said while you looked a little disappointed.  "But what I do know is that Scout needs to go for a walk, so I will take him to the beach," Cillian then quickly decided, standing up from the couch with the black Lab by his side.

"Why don't we go too, Max?" you suggested, already feeling a sudden pang in your chest from the excitement of spending time with his father. "It will be fun," you tried to encourage him, but Max simply shook his head. 

"No. I don't really want to," Max said almost bluntly, crossing his arms over his chest. "But you go. I am sure dad will show you around while I stay here," he then said , opting to stay in the safety of the living room instead.

Cillian frowned but did not protest. "Alright, I mean, if you want to come, you can," he then said, looking at you as he clipped on Scout's leash which was lying around on the corner table in the living room. 

"Yeah, uhm, okay. I love the beach and haven't been for ages. So, I won't say no," you replied with a smile, feeling a little guilty for being so excited to go to the beach with Cillian without Max.

"Alright then, let's get going," Cillian said, breaking the awkward tension that had settled between you both as he walked towards the door and led the way outside.

You took a deep breath and followed him, trying to shake off the guilt you felt earlier. After all, Max did seem to be occupied with his own thoughts and you thought that spending some time away from the tension might do some good for both you.  As you both stepped outside, the sun felt warm on your skin yet the breeze was still crisp and cool, giving you a chill every now and then. The sound of waves crashing against the shore was soothing and soon, you found yourself feeling more relaxed as you walked closer towards the beach.

Scout trotted playfully beside Cillian, wagging his tail happily while you both moved swiftly on the pathway leading to the beach.

You unconsciously adjusted the pace of your steps to match Cillian's before you could even realize it, the two of you moving in a harmony that was somehow familiar to you while the silence between the two of you was not.

Being on your own with Max's father who you had just met made you feel somewhat strange as you tried to keep the absurdity of the situation out of your mind but, luckily for you, after an awkward ten minutes of silence, Cillian decided to speak up.

"So, other than studying, what do you do?" Cillian asked as you both walked together along the sandy beach.

"I like to read or listen to music mainly. But I also love travelling which, unfortunately, is too time consuming for me to do right now, with uni and all," you replied, looking out at the crystal clear water ahead of you.

Cillian nodded, looking introspective for a moment. "I can understand that. I haven't been on a holiday for years, although I do get to travel a lot for work I suppose. But it's not really the same, you know," he said and you looked over at him, surprised by his honesty.

"Yes, I can imagine. Must be hard being away from home so much," you commented, trying to show empathy towards his situation.

"It can be," he replied simply, his tone contemplative. You both walked in silence for a few moments before Cillian asked, "Do you think Max will drop out of uni?" 

The question caught you off guard as you looked at Cillian, eyes wide with surprise. You hesitated for a moment before answering, "I don't know. He seemed certain about it earlier, but he's been known to change his mind before."

"Yes, he is quite a fickle one," Cillian chuckled, shaking his head in amusement. "But then again, so was I when I was his age, so I am not surprised," he then added, giving you a soft smile.

"Well, it all worked out for you though, didn't it?"  you asked, trying to keep the conversation light as you both walked along the beach with Scout.

Cillian chuckled and nodded. "I suppose so, although I had my fair share of struggles too. But I am grateful for where I am now," he said thoughtfully, taking in the beauty of the beach and the sunset on the horizon.

You looked over at him and smiled. "You should be. You have done well for yourself," you said, genuinely happy for Cillian's success. "But, with Max, I am really worried that he will make the wrong call. He does not know what he wants in life, and he really needs to figure that out soon," you added, a slight frown crossing your face as you thought about Max and his carefree attitude towards life.

Cillian nodded in understanding, his piercing blue eyes studying you before he replied, "I have told Max that he needs to figure out what he wants to do in life, but sometimes, one has to learn from their own mistakes, unfortunately."

"That is true," you sighed, appreciating Cillian's honesty towards the matter. "But if there is anything I can do to help him with his decision, I would," you added determinedly, looking at Cillian earnestly.

"You are very mature for your age, aren't you?" Cillian remarked with a curious look in his eyes as you continued to discuss Max's future with him.

You nodded, laughing a little at his unexpected compliment. "I guess I am just determined and I do care for Max, so I want to help him figure things out," you replied with a small smile before changing the topic something more lighthearted.

The sun had started to set, coloring the sky with hues of pink and orange as the two of you walked along the beach. Scout ran joyfully in the sand, occasionally stopping to splash in the waves before racing back to Cillian and you.

You talked for a while, not only about Max, but also about music, movies and  literature, both finding common interests that you could bond over.

You both joked and laughed as you walked along the beach, the sound of waves crashing against the shore creating a soothing soundtrack to your conversation until, eventually, you both had to turn back. 

When you came back to the house, you all prepared yourselves for dinner which went uneventful and was filled with lots of small talk. Cillian and Danielle 's interactions were a bit distant and tense, and it was clear that they were avoiding each other. You couldn't help but feel a little bit uncomfortable, and you wondered if Max had noticed it too.

After dinner, you and Max decided to watch a movie in the living room with Cillian after all and Danielle retired to the bedroom early, claiming that she had gotten too much sun. As you watched the movie, your mind wandered off to the events of the day, and you found yourself thinking about your interaction with Cillian on the beach. You realized that you had enjoyed his company, and it surprised you how much you had in common.

You were both interested in literature, music, and movies, and it was refreshing to find someone who didn't think your taste was weird.

But you couldn't deny that there was a certain spark between you two, and it made you feel guilty. You were there to support Max, not to hook up with his dad. Besides, Cillian was married.

You shook your head, trying to dispel those thoughts from your mind and, in the end, you went to bed before the action movie Max had picked earlier to spite you had come to an end.

Max then joined you half an hour later, waking you up from your slumber with a gentle bounce on the bed.

"I was thinking about tomorrow," he then went on to say, turning on the bedside table lamp while you rubbed your eyes and sighed in disbelief. 

"Max, I was asleep," you murmured in response before you stared at the ceiling fan above your head as he told you about his plans for tomorrow, muttering something about a football game and hanging out with his friends. You listened halfheartedly, your head still foggy and your mind still heavy with the events of the day.

Max then climbed beneath the sheets  , and nestled himself close to you. You could feel the warmth of his body through his clothes, and as much as you wanted to push him away, you couldn't.

He had always been a cuddler, and you allowed it, knowing that his cuddles usually put him in a better mood.

"Do you want to make out?" he then asked, his voice muffled as he nuzzled his face in the crook of your neck.

You tensed, caught off-guard by his sudden question. "What? No, Max. We are at your parents' house," you said firmly, shifting away from him.

But Max didn't seem to get the hint. He continued to inch closer to you, his hand snaking up your shirt and tracing patterns on your skin. "Just be quiet then and they won't hear us," he whispered, his lips brushing against your earlobe.

"Max, stop it," you said sternly, trying to push him away, causing him to sigh. 

"Fine," he huffed before rolling away from you, giving you the cold shoulder.

You sighed and turned off the bedside table lamp again. The room was plunged into darkness, with only the glow of the moonlight peeking through the window illuminating the room. You could feel Max's disappointment but you tried to ignore it.

You closed your eyes, hoping that sleep would come to you quickly, but despite your exhaustion, your mind was racing.

You couldn't stop thinking about Cillian and the way he had made you feel on the beach.

It was a strange feeling, one that you hadn't experienced before, and you weren't sure what to make of it. You weren't attracted to him, at least not in that way, but there was something about him that you couldn't quite put your finger on.

You tossed and turned in bed, trying to shake off the feeling, but it was no use. After almost an hour of trying, you finally gave up on sleep and got out of bed, making your way to the kitchen for a glass of water. It was late, but you could hear the faint sound of music coming from the living room.

You padded down the hallway, drawn to the sound like a moth to a flame. You paused in the doorway and saw Cillian sitting on the sofa with a book in his hand while listening to a Vinyl record.  He didn't notice you at first, so you had a chance to look at him in peace. 

The record he was playing was a classic one, something you enjoyed too but hadn't listened to in a long time. You felt a strange connection to him in that moment, as if you two were kindred spirits.

Cillian seemed to have sensed your presence as he looked up and smiled at you warmly.

"Can't sleep?" he asked softly, not taking his gaze away from you.

You shook your head as you made your way to the kitchen, pouring yourself a glass of water. You were surprised by how your heart was beating faster. You couldn't help but feel a little self-conscious under Cillian's gaze. It was as if he could see through you, into the innermost depths of your soul.

You took a sip of water, trying to calm your nerves before making your way to the living room.

"Do you mind if I join you?" you  asked softly, hoping that it wouldn't disturb Cillian from his reading.

"Of course not. Please," he said, gesturing to the empty space on the sofa next to him, which you gratefully accepted.

You sat down next to Cillian, and as the music played in the background, you couldn't help but feel yourself relax in his presence. It was as if all the stress and tension of the day had melted away in an instant, replaced by a sense of calm and tranquility that you hadn't felt in a long time.

"I love that album ," you said softly, closing your eyes as the lyrics washed over you.

Cillian smiled, nodding. "Me too. It brings back memories," he said, taking a sip of his drink.

"Of what?" you asked curiously.

"Well, it reminds me of a time when I was younger and I used to go on road trips with my family," he said with a nostalgic look on his face.

"We would have the record playing on repeat in the car and belt out the lyrics, even if we had no idea what we were belting out," he chuckled with a fond smile.

"My dad actually listened to that same album too when we went on road trips, although it probably came out well before his generation. It's timeless," you smiled as you leaned back into the couch before you kept talking about music for what felt like an hour. 

As the hour passed, the conversation got more personal and intimate.

You shared stories about your upbringing and Cillian did the same, allowing you to learn more about him and the more time you spent with him, the more you realized that you and Cillian had a lot in common.

In between conversations, you also both found yourselves looking at each other for longer than necessary and the tension in the room started to build up.

Suddenly, Cillian's eyes dropped to your lips and you felt his gaze linger there for what felt like an eternity.

You could feel the tension between you growing, and you couldn't deny that you were feeling something too.

You bit your lip, unsure of what to do next and Cillian was as reluctant as you were  .

But it was inevitable, you both could feel it.

He reached out and gently brushed your hair away from your face before leaning in closer to you, his eyes never leaving yours, seeking permission, the anticipation building up in the room causing both of your breaths to hitch as he finally closed the distance between you and kissed you.

"I am so fucking sorry,"  he then said after he suddenly pulled away, his voice full of regret, immediately causing a feeling of devastation to wash over you.

"It's okay," you assured him softly, reaching out to touch his arm. You didn't want him to feel guilty about what had happened between you two. After all, you had felt the chemistry between you too, and it had been mutual. There was no need to apologize.

But Cillian avoided your touch and stood up abruptly, running his fingers through his hair in frustration as he paced around the living room.

"I shouldn't have done that. You are dating my son, and I am fucking married," he muttered, barely audible, but you still heard it.

"It's fine," you said, swallowing the lump in your throat as you tried to compose yourself. "I allowed it, and it doesn't matter. Let's just pretend it never happened, okay?" you suggested, trying to defuse the tension that had built up in the room.

"Okay," he  whispered, although it was obvious he didn't want to forget it, but at least, he was holding back the apologies.

You both sat there for a moment, unsure of what to do next, before you eventually broke the silence.

"I should probably go back to bed," you announced, getting up and walking towards the doorway.

"Yeah, that's probably a good idea," Cillian agreed, his voice barely above a whisper, which was the last one on one interaction you had with him until you met him again at the jazz bar, almost a year later. 

Tags:

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[princessconsuela120]

Chapter four: Back to Black —✿

Series masterlist

Chapter warnings: cursing, drugs, sex, everything that comes with euphoria

Authors note: this one’s one of my favs so far. Enjoy guys!!

—✿

Noelle woke up at 4 in the morning to the wonderful feeling of throwing up on the bathroom, something she had been accustomed to since the baby started showing. She was trapped. At least, in her mind she was. There she sat, pulling her hair out as she emptied her stomach into the toilet.

“Fuck this dude.” She grumbled, smiling at the knock on the door.

Noelle was everything good in the world. 0Seriously, like sometimes you’d think she was joking. But she still was human, and like all us humans, she had her demons. One of which being Nate Jacobs. And when she finally thought she was rid of him...

“Fuck.” She cursed, slamming her hands down as she threw up again.

“Ma, you good in there?” Fezco asked, making Noelle groan in response.

I had been friends with Noelle since we were 8. I like to say she’s my best friend, not like Lexi was, where I grew up with Lexi, Noelle was more my best friend just because she was who she was. She was that type of friend where you could sit together in silence and it wouldn’t be awkward.

But being Noelle’s best friend for as long as I had been, meant I knew everything about her. I knew her history, how her parents were always away or at “business meetings.”

“Why god, why do you hate me?” She groaned, shaking her head in her hands as she sat by the toilet. She looked like a mess, her hair was messy, and she was wearing fezco’s oversized t-shirt that had been sitting on her floor for the past few days.

All friendships have their hardships, the things they don’t like about the other. For me, that was Noelle’s dating life. She had that sort of trust in people, that anyone could be better if they truly tried. The worst part of her life thus far was her short lived relationship with Nate Jacobs. It was a summer thing, that lasted until the first month of the year. You’d never see Nate Jacobs as happy as he was when he was dating Noelle. We all saw it, we all knew they had to be meant for each other. Even in the hardships, when he got angry, she got patient. And when he got angrier, she put him in his place. You could see how they loved each other, well, that is until he cheated on her. With Maddy, in the closet at a party.

The closet of all places. The most cliche spot.

It was during a start of year party, the whole school was there. Well, besides me and Jules. Noelle didn’t tell me when it happened either. She just came to my house after the party and cried.

I found out the next week at school when I saw Maddy and Nate walking down the hallway, hand in hand.

Noelle didn’t have any problem with Maddy, even after Nate cheated. They had been close almost as long as Ellie and I had been friends, and she didn’t feel the need to break that. Yes, it was stupid, to stay friends with someone who betrayed you, but to be honest Noelle cared more that Nate cheated than the fact that he cheated with Maddy.

Don't you wish more people could be like that?

But that was just Noelle. The people she loved, she loved, and letting go of that was hard for her to do, so she just didn’t do it.

It was odd. After they broke up, Nate became more angry. He became more violent, more hateful. Like Noelle was the goodness inside him, and now that she was gone, so was his goodness.

“I brought you some ginger ale.” He said, opening the door to be meet with a defeated Noelle on the other side.

Like I said, Fez and Noelle were close. Fez told me I was his family; if I was fezco’s family, Noelle was his home. Minus the whole drug factor, Fez and Noelle were more alike than most people you’d ever meet. So staying with fezco was maybe the best thing that happened to their friendship. Because like I feel with Noelle, she felt safe with him.

“I feel like shit.”

“You look like Shit.”

“Thanks ash.”

And even if Nate pretended not to notice her in school, he wasn’t good at it. Even maddy could see him stare at her, and it was safe to say Cassie felt like she was losing her mind watching him stare at her the way he did.

—✿

“I'm a f*ckin' genius, Fez.” I said, happily walking into the room with a wide smile.

“Is that so?”

“It is f*ckin' so because I came up with an amazing f*ckin' plan.” I explained happily, Noelle smiling at me as I did. That’s why I loved Noelle, she was always kind regardless of what hell she was going through.

“And what would that be, Rue?”

“All right, so…” I cleared my throat. “all you would have to do is front me, like, $ , worth of dr*gs, okay? And...”

fezco shook his head as he looked at Noelle.

“Hell the f*ck no.”

“I’m with him.” Noelle said, pointing at fezco as I rolled my eyes.

“Okay, well, before you say no, you kind of have to let me finish, right?”

“Hell the f*ck no.” Fezco interrupted.

“Okay, why do you keep saying that?”

“I did not like the way that the plan started.” He explained, his legs hanging off the counter he was sitting on. Noelle chuckled as she looked between fez and I.

“Okay, well, you have to let me finish the f*cking plan.”

“No.”

“Yes. You...”

“Hell the f*ck no, Rue.”

That was when I gave up. By the look on Noelle’s face, I knew I had come to the wrong place.

“f*ck it. I give up. Whatever. I'll just take my f*ckin' business elsewhere. It's your f*ckin' loss, man.”

I took one last look at fezco as he shook his head.

“Hell the f*ck no.”

—✿

“So first, you come to my f*ckin' job askin' all these weird-ass questions like the feds. Then I find you out in front of my house. What the f*ck are you doin', man?” Fezco asked, Cal Jacobs once again sitting infront of him unfortunately for fez.

“You're free to call the cops.” Cal sassed, raising an eyebrow as Fez rolled his eyes.

“Why the f*ck would I do that?”

“Well, it's either call the cops, let me go or... k*ll me.”

Fezco rolled his eyes.

“What the f*ck, man? What's with your family? Are you all just a bunch of f*ckin' assholes?”

Noelle couldn’t help but chuckle.

“You beat up my son.” Cal said, making Fezco roll his eyes again.

“Yeah, well, he deserved it, man. He's a f*ckin' bitch. And he fucked with my family.” Fezco looked over at Noelle with a smile, and she smiled back. She knew he was talking about her.

“Oh, okay, tough guy.” Cal grumbled, before Ashtray hit him over the head with his gun. “Ow, f*ck! Why did you do that?” He groaned, blood dripping down his face as Ashtray glared at him.

“Cause you're in no position to talk shit.”

“I'm warning you. You hit me one more...Oh, f*ck!” Cal screamed, getting hit again in the head.

“That one was for Noelle.” Ash hissed, smiling kindly at Noelle who smiled back.

“I didn’t do shit to Noelle. Ow!”

“Why don't you call the cops?” Ashtray threatened, as Cal grunted.

“All right, Ash. Chill out, man.” Fezco tried to reason, but the boy just kept hitting Cal with his gun.

“This guy don't want the f*ckin' cops involved. Watch. Call the cops.” Ashtray threatened, making Cal snap at him.

“I will.” He groaned, before getting hit again.

“Dial, bitch. If you got nothin' to hide,call the f*ckin' cops.”

“Stop, stop, stop.”

“I'm not f*cking stopping. I'm not stopping. Call the cops.” Ashtray looked at Cal, who looked back at him shamefully before looking to the ground. “I told you.”

“All right, man. I get it.” Fezco said, making Ashtray finally step down.

“I know you and your drug addict friend, that girl. You're trying to extort my son.”

“What?”

“Because of what he did to her.” He pointed at Noelle and she looked down trying to avoid his gaze. “And what I did to her friend.”

“What the f*ck are you talkin' about, man?”

“You know, the blonde.”

“Who? Jewel?”

Noelle couldn’t help but laugh. Fezco always messed up Jules’ name.

“Look, man, I didn't know she was 17.” Cal mumbled, causing Fez and Noelle to exchange knowing looks.

“You tellin' me you had sex with Jewel?” Fezco asked, his jaw dropping as he looked at Nate’s dad in disgust.

“Who's Jewel?” Faye asked, taking a hit from her joint as she rode out her high.

“What the f*ck, man?” Fezco asked, though he wasn’t sure who he was asking.

“Do I know Jewel?” Faye asked, but everyone ignored her. Noelle rubbed her back sweetly.

“No sweetie.”

“The f*ck are we even talkin' about right now, bro?” Fezco asked, as Faye looked around trying to think if she knew Jules.

“Jewel. Jewel. Jewel...”

“I just want the disc.” Cal asked, making Fezco even more confused.

“What disc?!”

“Of Jewel and I.”

“Yo, you recorded that shit?!”

“What the fuck.” Noelle mumbled to herself , not having known about Jules and Cal.

“I didn't know.”

“You didn't know that you were recording?”

“I f*cked up.”

“Obviously, man. Yo, who the f*ck even told you I gave a shit about this anyway?”

“My son.”

“Your son? The one that knocked up Noelle?” Fezco asked, making Cal look up at him confused.

“Aw, that's cute.” Faye said, turning to Noelle with a smile as she smiled back, terrified of the situation.

“That's not cute, man. What the f*ck?” Fezco cursed, sighing as he shook his head.

“You mean your son who never leaves Jules the fuck alone?” Fezco asked again and Cal just looked at him.

“What?”

“What kind of weird-ass father-son shit is goin' on around here, bro?” Fezco asked, making Cal shake his head.

“I'm extremely confused.” Cal said. Fezco looked at him as if he had three heads.

“You're confused. I'm f*ckin' confused, bro.”

“Me too.” Faye said, as Noelle raised her hand.

“Me three.”

“I don't even know what the f*ck you're doin' here.” Fezco said, causing cal to pagse for a second before looking up at Fez.

“Do you mind if I just leave? I'm not gonna say a word about anything, I swear to God.

Let's just pretend like...none of this ever happened.” Cal pleaded, Fezco and Ashtray exchanging a look before fez began to talk.

“Yo, Ash, let me talk to you real quick.”

The two left the room, walking into the back to talk leaving Noelle with Cal and Faye.

“You know it makes sense. I was wondering why you left the company.” Cal said, Noelle hugging herself nervously as he spoke.

“Yeah. Sorry about that…”

Like a guardian Angel, Fezco came back.

“Yo, check it out, man. I'mma let you walk up outta here on one condition.”

“Anything.”

“You'll keep your bitch-ass son out of my f*ckin' life, and Rue's and Jewel's, till the end of f*cking time. And he better step his ass up as a damn father.”

Cal didn’t respond at first, just glanced at Noelle with a soft smile. He knew it, he knew then and there. And Noelle knew he knew it the second he looked down at her stomach then back at her, a blank stare on his face as a million thoughts raced through his head. His sons life was over.

“You understand?” Fez asked, making Cal nod.

“I promise.”

“Now, I don't know shit about no f*ckin' disc, man. That's not my problem. Now get this m*therf*cker up outta here, Ash.”

—✿

Nate begged Noelle to stay the night. And by begged I mean showed up with flowers and everything. He would be lying if he said he didn’t miss her these past few weeks, all he could think about was her and his kid. If they were okay, if she was taking vitamins, if the baby was a boy or a girl. He hoped it was a girl, then it was less of a chance the kid would turn out like Nate.

“Elle, you’re pregnant.” Nate said, stopping her as she rolled her eyes, holding up a wet wipe and some gauze to his forehead cut. He had been instructed to take care of the wound after stitches, but knowing Nate he probably didn’t do any taking care of himself.

“You got beaten half to death let me take care of you.” She argued, making him go tan loudly as she cleaned his cut.

“Fuck.”

“That hurt?” She asked, smirking at him slightly.

“A little.”

“Good.”

It went quiet for a bit. Nate let her clean up his wounds as he sat there patiently, knowing her perf her that much. He could t help but stare at her small belly with an ache in his heart.

“When did you and me ever stop being, you and me?” He asked, causing Noelle to stop what she was doing. She sighed, frowning at him as she thought.

“I don’t know Nate. I loved you I really did. But, you’re not you anymore. You changed you, you’re so different now.” He scoffed, trying not to whimper at the light stinging from his forehead.

“Come on, Noah, I’m not that different.” He reasoned, making Noelle stop in her tracks, sighing again.

“I don’t even recognize you anymore Nate. I no longer feel comfort and joy being around you, just, fear.” She explained, causing Nate’s heart to shatter. If you had asked Nate who his favorite person was, he’d say Noelle. If you asked Noelle well, she would come up and probably have a meltdown at just th thought of Nate. And that’s what was different between them. He loved her, but she wasn’t too sure anymore.

“You’re afraid of me?” He asked, his voice low and quiet to not upset her.

“A little.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”

“Yeah well, what are you gonna do?”

The two had spent the night together and even ended up cuddling while they went to sleep. Nate’s face was horizontal to Noelle’s as he kissed her cheek softly, having missed her touch. And for the night, Noelle did too.

“I missed you noah.” He mumbled, hurrying his head in her neck as she ran her fingers through his hair. Nate’s hands never left her stomach since they got in the bed.

“I missed you too. And I hate myself for it.”

[hannahssimblr]

It’s a dreary, drizzly evening that calls for streetlights earlier than usual, their light straining weakly through the thick mist off the bay, and as I glance down at Ivy with droplets of rain beading on the halo of frizz around her plaits I consider the fact that she was right, a jacket wouldn’t have been the worst idea. 

The lights are on early at Michelle’s house too, the voile netting over the netting in the living room window not giving anything away inside, just the vague shapes of whatever is on the television.

As always, the door is off the latch, and inside Jen is leaning against the counter by the toaster spinning a butter knife in her fingers. She gives me a wary look when we see each other. “She’s in the living room,” and holds her hand out to Ivy, “Hey Ives, do you wanna hang out with me for a little while? C’mere, oh, who did your hair today? Was it your brother? Yikes, okay let me have a look at this…”

I gingerly push through to the living room, where Michelle is engaged in an intense discussion with both of her parents. She’s slumped on the couch with puffy eyes while they stand with their backs to the fire, glancing at me with alarm as I enter the room wielding a bar of chocolate, which, in hindsight is a bit of a pathetic celebratory or consolation prize. 

“Hi.”

“Oh good, Jude,” Rahim beckons me over to the couch to sit with Michelle, and I take her hand, “can you tell her that this is not the end of the world?” He’s saying, voice tinged with impatience, “There are plenty of other opportunities.”

“Zero, huh?” I say gently, and she shakes her head, arm trembling as she passes the letters to me. One, two, three rejections. I read one of them briefly, from Paris. 

“‘...unimaginative and containing cliches…’ wow, that feels a bit harsh, doesn’t it? I don’t think they needed to be all like that about it.”

She breaks down in tears, “I’m a terrible artist.”

“No, you aren’t,” I skim through the one from Berlin, “Look, they’ve said here that this year’s application was their strongest in history. Don’t beat yourself up about it.”

“I just feel so stupid.”

“What? No, you’re the furthest thing from stupid.”

“Michelle, there are other options,” Rahim practically pleads, “Why don’t you go back to the application portal before it is too late and put down something more reasonable?”

Debra agrees, “This is what we’ve been saying, Michelle, maybe art is wrong for you. See? You shouldn’t have changed your mind in the first place. There’s a good reason you decided against it-”

“Yeah well I want to do it now, don’t I?” Michelle snarls, swatting tears away from her cheeks, “Jude and I are doing this together, it’s already decided.”

Her mother eyes me warily before deciding that I should probably hear this too, “Love, you know it’s not always a good idea to make big life decisions based on your boyfriend. Nothing lasts forever.”

“How could you say that?”

“What happened to veterinary science, hm? Wouldn’t that be a good career?”

“I wanted to be a vet when I was like, seven, what are you on about?” 

“Or she could be a doctor, like me!” Rahim attempts, but this is only met with a fresh barrage of sobs. I rub my girlfriend’s back uselessly while the chocolate softens inside its wrapper against the heat of my leg. 

Debra is looking at me empathetically as I comfort her daughter, as though she and I have some connection now, like a baton has passed through some small exclusive club for people who have held Michelle while she cries. “How did you get on with your applications?” 

“Oh, um, yeah, I got in,” I feel guilty even saying it but Michelle doesn’t really react to the news, as though she already made an assumption, but I jump in to finish quickly before she can make another. “I won’t be accepting any of them, though, I mean, obviously. I was only ever going to move away if Michelle was coming too, and, you know, unless London works out then that won’t happen.”

Michelle kneads her eye with the heel of her hand, “Did you not get the email?”

“What email?”

“From the London school.”

“Uh, no, I just saw the letters.”

Her eyes widen, “So you didn’t see the NCAD email either?”

“Since when were there emails?” 

“Oh my God,” she’s on her feet then, all of her misery forgotten in favour of urgency. “Go and look right now, what the hell?”

“Love,” Debra attempts soothingly, “it’s probably better if Jude checks his emails on his own, isn’t it? The last thing we want is for this to set you off-”

We’re already running for the stairs, her behind me prodding my back the whole way up in a way that feels like she’s forcing me to walk the plank to my untimely death in a tank of piranhas. We burst into her room and she runs to navigate to gmail while I sweat despite the temperature of her room, which is always kind of cold. 

I log in and the page loads up to two new emails sitting brazenly in my inbox.  

“There they are, click them!”

“Michelle I just want to say that-”

“Oh, come on,” she seizes the mouse and clicks for me, first the one from London, and her voice is flat, “They accepted you. No surprises.”

“It doesn’t matter though, does it? If they didn’t accept you too then I’m not going.”

“Mm.” She immediately clicks the next one, from NCAD, “It’s just points,” she mutters in explanation, “So it all depends on our leaving cert,” scrolling, she reaches the bottom of the email where my points sit, undeniable in a bold black font against stark white. 

I feel her stiffen. “One thousand?” 

“Uh, wow, is that good?”

There is a long pause. “Jude, that’s literally maximum points.”

I can’t bring myself to look at her right away, but I feel her eyes on the side of my face, searing holes through my skin. 

“I thought your interview went badly.”

“Yeah me too!”

“Well then-” she breaks off to make some noise that’s somewhere between a scoff and a sob, “then how did you get such ludicrously high points?”

“Like what I said, I suppose. They were arseholes to everyone on purpose,” I spin around to her, “What did you get?”

“Four fifty.”

So I grab hold of her hands and hold her very tightly and very still, I want to seem sure, “No matter what happens, we’ll be okay,” I promise, “Even if none of this works out for you, I’ll still be right here, do you hear me?”

She nods. 

“I’m not going anywhere without you. God, I mean, why would I even do that? You’ll get NCAD off the back of your leaving cert points, I’m one hundred percent sure. And... even if you don't, I'll stay in Dublin.” As soon as I say it I start feeling nauseated, and dizzy, a bit heady like I’ve inhaled some miscellaneous gas from the science lab, but I fight through it, “fuck all of those stupid plans for going abroad, right? I’m here.”

“Yeah?”

“I’m serious.”

“I know.”

“Okay, c’mere,” I pull her into me and hold her tightly, taking in the smell of her hair, the way her narrow shoulders, her birdlike frame softens in my arms and accept that this is the comfort I will rely on from now on. True, it’s not always easy with Michelle, but we really do love each other. Sometimes love is work, but love is rare and worth holding onto with both hands and your whole heart. All those plans I had, I think, they were misguided, a youthful mistake. Perhaps at some point in the future I can move to Amsterdam, or Paris, or Berlin, or London, and do something creative and exciting, but not now. That’s what I’ll do in ten years, when everything is different. I’ll make sure to tell Sam. 

Who did I think I was, really, trying to do all of that at eighteen? Now is for this, for Michelle. For doing something right.

“I love you,” she says, and I wonder, with her cheek resting against my chest, if she can somehow hear the way my heart tightens as though grasped by a fist, or how my breath catches in my throat when she says it. I’m surprised by the rising feeling that I might start crying, but I force it down.  

Crying over what, Jude? I sneer at myself. 

Yeah, that’s what I thought. Something stupid, as usual.

Beginning // Prev // Next

[kira-broflovski]

Sleepover || Kyle Broflovski x Reader (2)

NOTE: characters are aged up to high school in this!!

Part 3

summary: you only intended to stay for a little bit and study with kyle in order to make it in time to wendy's sleepover, but you simply lost track of time

Kyle felt like he was short-circuiting. From his newfound confidence to the grateful hug you gave him, he just can't believe that really happened.

On the way to his next class, he opened the piece of paper to discover it read "text me" followed by your phone number.

"Fuck yeah!" He yelled out of excitement, not even caring about the weird stares he received.

"Dude, what happened?" Stan's voice called out from behind him. Kyle was too excited to say anything so he simply shoved the little note in his face as he slightly bounced on his feet. "Oh my god. You did it."

"I know!"

"You crazy son of a bitch." Stan was happy for his best friend, despite the lack of enthusiasm in his tone. "You actually got her number."

"I know!" Kyle repeated, practically grinning from ear to ear. "I still need to add it to my contacts."

The boys sat down in their usual seats next to each other while Kyle was hyperfixated on his phone and making sure he typed in the right number.

"What's up with him?"

"Is he okay?"

"Why is he staring at his phone?"

Many classmates were concerned for Kyle as they all noticed he was more jittery and excitable than usual, but the class itself felt like it was going too slow.

Halfway through, his phone buzzed.

"Mr. Broflovski, turn your phone on silent." The strict teacher snapped.

"Sorry, sir. I didn't mean to leave the notifications on." Yes he did.

"Whatever." The teacher turned back to his computer to do more boring work, while Kyle saw this as an opportunity to check the notification.

It was you!

"i forgot to ask, which house are we studying at?"

"mine? my little brother has swimming lessons n my parents are both at work"

"sure :)"

He stared at your last message, immediately imagining the smile that made him feel so warm and fuzzy on the inside.

This was going to be the longest lesson ever.

When the bell rang, he dashed out of his seat so he could be the first one out the school. Obviously, he wasn't. But it's the thought that counts.

You texted him saying you were on your way out, and his heart started pounding in his chest. He pretended to look busy on his phone in case you got weirded out that he was staring from afar.

"Kyle!" You called. He looked up as if he didn't know you were already outside, trying to play it cool.

"Y/N!" He smiled widely back. So much for playing it cool. "Shall we?" He motioned his hand in another direction, the path towards his home.

The two of you were walking in silence, not an awkward one as there was no tension, it was more apprehension. You always wondered what his home looked like, and more specifically, what his bedroom looked like. Is it messy? Or tidy? Does he collect and hoard things? Or did he take the minimalistic approach?

So many questions yet to be answered.

Thankfully, the walk wasn't long. Although, Kyle did take you down the longest path in hopes of spending more time with you.

"Welcome to the Broflovski residence, Miss L/N." He bowed as he opened the door and held it open. "Ladies first."

"Why thank you, Mr. Broflovski." You stepped forward into the surprisingly large house this boy called home.

A stupid grin grew wider on your face because seeing him slowly become his nerdy self around you was heart-warming.

You remember watching him from afar, playing with his friends in whatever imaginary game they could think of. How you wanted to join in so badly. Instead, you wasted your time making meaningless lists with the girls.

"We can go up to my room," Kyle stated, bringing you back to the present. Only to realise what he just said. You didn't say anything and simply raised your eyebrow at him.

When he heard no vocal response he turned around, your facial expression only making him more confused.

"What?"

"Your room, huh?" You couldn't stop the smirk on your lips the same way he couldn't stop his cheeks getting redder and hotter.

"Don't make it weird, dude!"

"Relax, I'm joking."

"H-here, I'll show you up." He hastily made his way up the stairs, signalling for you to follow him.

"What a gentleman," you snickered.

Kyle jokingly groaned in response, which only made you laugh more, but on the inside there were fireworks exploding in his chest. Even the sound of your laughter made him weak in the knees.

Awkwardly, he showed you his room and you pointed out all the photos of him in different situations and with family members or close friends.

"Anyways, I'm gonna go grab us some drinks and snacks then we can get started. Does that sound good with you?" He looked at you for confirmation.

"Yeah, of course!" You beamed that infamous smile of yours, the smile that he just couldn't get enough of.

The next couple of hours went surprisingly quickly thanks to Kyle's intelligence and your perseverance.

Currently, you were both studying independently when a scoff from you broke the silence. Kyle looked up at you slowly, appreciating the moment before you looked at him, as it gave him time to admire your face close up for once.

"These textbook jokes are so stupid," you snorted.

He gestured towards the book, so you turned it around so he could read it. You watched as his eyes scanned the page before his face creased out of second-hand embarrassment for whoever wrote that.

"Oh god."

"I know, right?"

"Who would even find that funny?"

"Probably a try-hard with straight As."

"Probably," he shook his head. He looked back up at you to see your eyes wandering aimlessly around his room. "We should take a break. My hand hurts from this stupid ass book."

"Agreed." You stood up to stretch in front of the window, and that's when you noticed something in the garden.

"Kyle!"

"I'm right here you don't need to yell." The sudden exclamation of his name startled him. "What is it?"

"You have a treehouse?" You pointed outside, marvelling at the mighty fortress that still stood after all these years.

"Yeah?" He stood up and walked over to then follow your finger to where you were pointing. "Why?" He asked as he looked down at you. You were pulling the best doe eyes you could, and Kyle thought he was going to have a heart attack due to how cute you are.

"Do you want to go in it?" He asked, trying so hard to act as if he doesn't want to just kiss you right here right now.

"Can we?" You continued to stare at him.

"What's the magic word?" He decided to tease you as a way of trying to make it even for the teasing he endured earlier.

"Please, Kyle." You clasped your hands together to commit. "Can we please go in your treehouse, Kyle?"

The way you said his name was music to his ears, and it really got his imagination going. It wasn't just his face that had more blood flowing in it than usual.

"Begging, are we?"

He doesn't know where this surge of confidence came from, but seeing you plead for something was so cute yet so hot.

"If that's what it takes," you said, exasperated, and got closer to him. Your faces were inches apart. Both of you were internally freaking out.

He waited a couple seconds, just to savour this moment, before responding.

"Alright, I can't say no when you make that face." He rolled his eyes jokingly before leading the way again.

"I'll keep that in mind." You grinned to yourself.

"I shouldn't have said that."

"It's too late now, Kyle."

"Oh, great."

He knew he wasn't really complaining, if anything he'd love an excuse to just stare into your eyes. Especially if you say his name the same way you just did all the time.

What's going to happen in the treehouse?

----

note: I'll write part 3 ASAP. this was only meant to be a 2 part story, but I got carried away in both 😭 the wattpad author I used to be is still me ig

currently writing from my break at work, hope you guys enjoyed!!

taglist: @weridpersonhelp

[graysnetwork]

HAVING KEEGAN AS UR BROTHERS BSF

IM HAVING THOUGHTS RN

CHAPTER |

BROTHERS BEST FRIEND — Keegan Russ X fem!Reader

Notes— he will now become a character in my heart and in my blog bc I love him. And so will the friend in this story.

Info: it’s cannon for me to believe his character drives a Mercedes. he has black hair. He’s got red cheeks (I’ll probably post a pic of what I’m thinking of) idk if it’s like Rosacea but I think it’s smtg he would probably have. Keegan’s three years older than you, (your a sophomore and he’s a senior). Idk if you can tell… but this is totally ooc and set in like this time.

Warnings: none!

Summary: you’ve been crushing on Keegan for years now and he has been too.

Your brother was a pain in the ass, so annoying, But. His best friend on the other hand, was so kind to you, and handsome.

Keegan had been your brothers “best friend” for about 5 years now. They’d been friends since middle school and now they were going to graduate, Keegan was apart of the family at this point, he’d stayed at your house for so long that he would come in unannounced and go into anyone’s bedroom, parents included.

Sometimes he’d go into everyone’s rooms just to say “goodnight”, which was really funny, especially when you were a kid.

For instance, he was staying the night at your family’s home, and you were going to say goodnight to your parents but you got anxious because it was late at night, so he grabbed your hand and said goodnight with you so you wouldn’t be alone.

Keegan seemed to like caring for you, he always took the blame when you did something stupid, he’d say “oh I told her to do it, I’m sorry”

He just did it and never asked for a thank you back from you, he enjoyed taking care of you. And as you got older, all the things he did for you made you feel all warm and giddy inside. He was so sweet, how could you not have a crush on him. And when he came over and got in the pool, it made you feel all dizzy seeing him without a shirt.

And he wasn’t big on dating, he dated some girls throughout his whole five years of high school, but he never stayed for long, mostly because he couldn’t make enough time for them due to all the football practice he had.

But Keegan loved you,he always made time for you. he always liked you but once you got older, got in high school, hit puberty, he became more attracted to you, in ways he couldn’t tell your brother.

Anytime your brother asked him “do you like anyone?” Keegan just had to deny everything saying that he didn’t, and even when the blush on his cheeks was apparent he’d still say “nah, I’m waiting for the pretty girls in college” just so your brother could hop off his dick already.

But he couldn’t ask you to date him, or take you out randomly, that’d be weird, and your brother would most definitely get mad at him, and you. So safe to say that he wasn’t going to be taking you out. Plus he thought that you probably liked another guy in the school, not him— a muscular, black haired, tall, handsome man.

He was graduating soon, he was gonna go off to university and get some sort of degree, so what would be the point of dating him if he was going to leave.

—

Now it was a normal Friday night, the night that your family would spend time together, something that you all enjoyed, especially after a busy week of studying, work, ECT. It was something you looked forward to, and sometimes Keegan joined in if he wasn’t with his family.

Today in particular, he wasn’t with them, he was with you. The two of you were heading to the store to go buy some snacks that you and your family wanted. He was talking about what his family was doing that he decided to not join in on today.

“Yeah, they were saying something about this new small…. Art museu-” he tried to remember “museum, yeah I’ve heard of it, seems really nice, I- I mean I dunno if you’d enjoy it, but it really does seem cool” you finished his sentence and began explaining how cute it looked. Keegan smiled to himself listening to you talk about some art that they had.

He didn’t want to go to this museum with his family, but if you wanted to or offered to take him he’d gladly say yes, just to see that cute smile on your face.

Once he got into the parking lot of the store he turned off the car after parking, and while you were still talking about the art to get your mind off him being so close to you, he just gazed at you, his head tilting a little when you turned to face him.

He thought you looked so cute when you talked about things you loved or were passionate about.

“Cmon kid” Keegan told you as he grabbed the keys and hopped out the car. Kid was always his nickname for you, but it always made you feel so much younger than him and like he only saw you as a sister or family.

The two of you walked around the store, for a while before heading to the candy aisle, you two looked at the snack section and ended with grabbing some chips and cookies. Then you went to the candy aisle as Keegan held all the snack for you, that’s when you spotted your friend.

“Y/n!” She said running down the aisle to hug you. “Hii” she said as she hugged you tightly, “hey, what are you doing here” you asked and she pulled away as her brother came up behind her, “we were just getting snack-” Kim tried to say but her brother cut her off “cause she’s annoying and won’t shut up about these chocolates” he said, you giggled

And Keegan suddenly got all jealous, and a little self conscious, like he was back in middle school and he saw the girl he had a crush on talking to another guy.

“Seems like her” you said and your friend nudged you before taking in the sight of Keegan’s tall figure behind you. “And what are you two doin here?” She asked with a smirk appearing on her face.

She knew how much you liked Keegan, she was who listened to you talk about a small interaction you had with Keegan, and she fed into your delusions.

“W-we’re just getting snacks for movie night” you said, you stared at her and her brother with an annoyed face, her brother also knew you liked Keegan, which helped out because he had some classes with him.

“Yeah” Keegan said and stared dead at Kim’s brother, he looked like he wanted to kill him, and if looks could kills, he would’ve been dead the minute you started giggling.

“Well that’s cutee” kim said smirking even more now, and it was just a matter of time before you could smack her when you saw her in private. “Anyways, let’s go!” Kim told her brother and they turned around and walked out the aisle.

“She’s something, isn’t she” Keegan said turning back to you as you walked to the candy’s. “Yeah, definitely” you smiled back at him and looked at the shelf of chocolates. “Uh.. that was her, brother?” He asked, he wanted to know if you liked him in any way.

“Yeah, he’s like my brother at this point” you said chuckling. “Cool” he said and looked around the aisle.

—

The two of you got in the car, placing the bags down at your feet. He started the car and began pulling out of the parking spot. He was quiet now, Keegan’s not loud or anything, he never has been. but he’s never this silent, you didn’t want to question it as he turned up the volume to the radio.

“So” he cleared his throat “Kim’s.. brother, no feelings for him right?” He asked slowly as he swallowed his saliva, “yeah” you told him— the question didn’t seem odd to you, Keegan’s always been protective of you since he was older than you. But he seemed annoyed.

“Hm, why?” You smiled as you turned your head to look at him “you jealous?” You chuckled a bit before he looked at you with an annoyed expression. “was kidding, sorry” you explained quietly and turned back to the road ahead as you approached a stoplight.

“y’shouldnt be liking or dating anyone in the first place” he said, “yeah my brother would probably kill me” you giggled.

“I know someone you could date n’you wouldn’t be killed for it” he said.

[armpirate]

Kalla | Choi San || Chapter 17

MASTERLIST Previous || Next

Pairings: CEO!San x fem!reader

Genre: smut, angst, fluff, strangers to lovers.

Warnings: dom!San, sub!reader, voyeourism, use of sex toys, bondage, dirty talk, BDSM, exhibitionism, rough sex.

Summary: She was surprised by how fast her life went from the perfect fairytale to the destructive mess it had turned into. Dealing with a cheater ex boyfriend, having to move out to a different place because the house she lived in belonged to that man she once dreamed of spending the rest of her life with, while continuously being underappreciated at work... It was as if life was telling her to stop dreaming big, to go back to her small town, Bibury, and help her parents run the small farm her family had owned for decades.

At least until she received a call from her friend.

A sudden vacancy as an assistant showed up on one of her friend's system, having her being encouraged to take that big step and apply for it. She had no hopes for it. Mainly because she didn't have any experience on the field, and she didn't comply with most of the requirements that were added on the offer -and which most of them sounded ridiculous and exaggerated for the position, making her wonder who was the freak who needed so many guidelines in order to hire someone to pick up the phone and schedule events. 

Although that hotel she'd be working on was much more than anything she could've come up with. 

Choi San wasn't someone easy to deal with. After his previous assistant presented his resignation letter on his desk, he felt forced to start the whole selection process again -after merely two months. 

Sure that he was being way too strict, enough to find that anyone who applied for the position wasn't enough, he asked one of his friends to be in charge of the interviews and the selection of the most adequate candidate. 

Little did he know Wooyoung would hire the imperfectly perfect candidate for him, sure that she'd help him in many ways other than just in dealing with the responsibilities of his position. 

A new challenge will come their way as soon as she steps inside the hotel. 

Y/n will have to learn how to mold onto him and deal with all his small habits and requirements, and San will find himself trying to open up and let out all those same things that turned him into the person he was. 

The more she digs in Kalla and all of its secrets and exciting corners, the deeper she'll dive into San's heart and soul... Although, maybe, she won't be able to take it. 

Kalla opens its doors to you, sharing the vast amount of filthy and erotic plans it offers, and that you can join with a partner... Or maybe just by yourself. 

Hope you enjoy your stay.

Chapter duration: 15 minutes

Chapter warnings: smut, dirty talk, explicit content, female masturbation, teasing

San was gripping on his wheel tight, bothered at the idea of her ex boyfriend showing up there to see her, and claiming her as if they were still together. Coming all the way to Seoul from London... No one would be as stupid to do something like that, unless he thought there was a chance his trip would be worth it.

The click of her tongue broke his thoughts, turning his head for one second to notice her furrowed eyebrows, while the lighting from her screen lit her face. She was typing something, moving nervously in her place.

—Is everything alright?

—Well, considering my ex boyfriend stalked my Linkedin, and showed up in the hotel... No, I could be doing better, to be honest.

—You didn't tell him where you were working? —he looked so calm, in contrast with how he was feeling inside.

—Tell him? I haven't spoken to him since we broke up —she could only shake her head while trapping her lip under her teeth—. Who in their sane mind would do something like this? And why the hell didn't he tell me?

—So you wouldn't run away —he suggested—. It's quite obvious he showed up so you wouldn't have any time to think.

He knew, because he had lived that.

After dealing with his father for so long, San had a master degree against manipulation and guilt tripping. He knew everything about the tricks that type of people used, and how they always found the right way to appeal to their softer and weaker side to trap them. If he hadn't showed up, Y/n would've probably agreed on going out for dinner with him -since he bothered to fly so far away from home just to see her-, and that dinner could've ended... He didn't want to think of how it could've ended.

—Where are we going? —she asked, locking her screen to leave her phone over her lap.

—To have dinner —he turned to her—. I also need to discuss some things with you, and I think it'd be better to do it in a neutral place.

Last time he said something like that, they both ended up making out in his car, and that made her heart beat faster in excitement. Mainly because she wanted more than just a few kisses after he left her so close to the edge she could see glimpses of the aftermath.

His car stopped in front of a restaurant, with San moving faster than her to get out of the car and surround it to open the door for her. His hand, skillfully placed on her lower back, guided her inside to the elevator in front of the main door. And that spot went cold as soon as he moved his fingers away, placing them back on each side of his body to wait to get to the rooftop where the restaurant was placed.

The decor of the restaurant was contemporary with a touch of elegance, featuring large potted plants with flowers that were placed every two and three tables. The ceiling had a unique, textured design with a warm, golden hue, adding to the luxurious feel of the place; and contrasting in light with the night sky in front of them and the lit up buildings of the city.

Again, air was stuck in her throat when his hand took back that spot on her back, helping her walk behind the waiter that led them to their table, next to one of the large windows.

—This place is amazing —she giggled, looking around to get a grip of all the details she could be aware of.

—I'm glad you like it.

It was the first time she saw him smile that way ever since they hopped in his car, with his dimples almost going unnoticeable before his expression turned back to a neutral one.

San waited patiently. He only looked at her, admiring her big eyes glancing over the establishment with attention, endeared by her barely parted lips and subtly curved corners. He only looked at her until the waiter took their order and served them their drinks, with Y/n going for a freezing beer while he followed his tradition and picked the glass of wine he always drank when he went there.

—How did you feel when I didn't let you cum earlier today?

Y/n felt like choking on her beer when San brought up that topic with such ease, that she wouldn't ever have expected it coming.

—I... I don't know —her brain was glitching, processing the images that came back with his words.

—Did you like it? Did you feel comfortable giving me that level of power? That's what I want to know. It's really important for me, Y/n.

Liking it? She loved it. She never thought she'd be so into being controlled and left to be taken care of, but it was the best feeling she had ever had, only being surpassed by the night they spent together during that masked event.

—It was weird —she frowned—, but I did like it. I didn't even care about... you know.

That second smile made his eyes crinkle, while his fingers played with the base of his glass.

—Cumming —he finished for her—. Let's call things as they are, shall we? —he left his laid back posture, sitting back straight when fixing his eyes on hers— And it's something you aren't going to do, at least until you earn it.

She wasn't experienced in that type of sex, but she wasn't a virgin to be stranged at what he was trying to do. He was punishing her for something, and she couldn't quite understand why.

—You look good with a mask, but you look way better without it —he added, looking through the window. She gulped the thick load of spit when his eyes were back on her after a blink—. So that was what you were doing in my office the other day?

—How did you find out?

—Oh, honey. That's definitely not the question you should be asking —he assured her, poking his tongue against his lower lip.

—I didn't want to make things weird between us. So I thought it was better if I was the only one knowing about it.

—And of course confessing while I was knuckles deep in you wasn't an option —he squinted his eyes at her—. Sugar, edging you will be a fairytale compared to what I'll do to you for lying to me, I can promise you that.

Her lips were pressed tight, while her eyes dropped to her empty and clean plate, trying to think of the best way to overcome that situation.

—It made sense it was you though —he commented out of nowhere.

—Because I didn't speak in Korean? —she tried to guess, remembering how most of the conversations she overheard were in his native language.

—Well, that was a hint I chose to ignore —he tilted his head.

A lot of the clients that spent a night in his hotel were foreigners, so hearing someone in the Spadix speaking in another language that wasn't Korean wasn't something that alerted him. Although he did find it curious that day.

—These weeks I've been thinking about you non-stop, so it just made sense you were the only one able to distract me from you.

His confession was so unexpected that she could feel her heart pumping against her rib cage, attempting to break it if he kept looking at her the way he was doing.

—And what were you thinking? —she dared to ask, supporting her head in her hand.

—How good you'd look tied up to my mercy, maybe with a gag in your mouth so you'd stop speaking when you aren't supposed to —when he trapped his lower lip, she knew he wasn't done, but he stopped himself from sharing his dark thoughts with her—. But before any of that happens, I need to settle some things with you.

—Rules?

—Agreements —he corrected her—. The type of sex I enjoy isn't the usual.

—Oh really?

—Y/n, you're already in trouble. Do you want to keep adding onto it? —his warning had her backing up almost immediately— I'm a dom, which means not only your pleasure is under my control. Your emotional, mental and physical health also is. But it doesn't mean you don't have any control. You set the limits, you say when you want to stop or when it's being too much. And, for that, I need you to be vocal. Communication is key in these relationships. I don't want to cross any lines, and even less find out later you were uncomfortable with something we did, only because you didn't dare to speak up.

—That's what the safeword is for?

—It's a good tool for that, yeah —he nodded—. But that's more for the part where we are already at it, and you aren't comfortable with something we agreed on doing. But I need you to set limits you're pretty much sure you don't want to cross ever. A way of calling you, a way of treating you, a gesture, a practice you don't want to try... Anything.

—Do you also mark those limits?

—I do —he smiled fondly, nodding at her question—. Our pleasure stops where the other starts feeling uncomfortable. Bdsm can hurt, you might feel pain, but there will always be pleasure added to it. The second there's none of it, it's where the dynamic doesn't work.

—What are your limits?

—I divide them into two, actually. Hard limits and soft limits. With hard limits being a straightforward no, and soft limits being something I could think of doing only, and only, if you really want to do it —something about him already speaking to her as if they were already an item had her folding on the spot—. As a hard limit: non-con roleplay. Others enjoy their subs pretending to be opposed to what it's being done to them, but it's not my case. I want to hear you moaning, so loud that your sounds vibrate through my eardrums for days —his lips puckered while he thought—. Add gore, scat and bodily fluids that aren't cum or sweat. The second I see blood, the only place you'll be running to is to the emergency room. Sharing you in the Spadix, or any other room is a big no as well. Non-negotiable.

—I don't get it —she frowned—. When we had sex, you started fingering me in front of everyone.

—Sharing your pleasure is one thing, sharing you is another. I like being seen, I like others witnessing how I top you. But have someone lying a hand on you and the night is ruined. And that's another point I wanted to discuss with you. You won't be able to go to the Spadix alone. I don't want to see your name on any of those lists if it hasn't been with me.

—Does that mean I can't meet other guys? I know this isn't a romantic relationship, but...

—You aren't allowed to have another dom and go around those circles without me. In those places, you're mine only. But, of course, I won't stop you from living your life and meeting someone. I understand the nature of this relationship isn't normal, and sometimes things just happen. You don't control when you fall in love —he shrugged—. Actually, if you ever fall for someone while being with me, you'll be the one ending this up by yourself.

It was something that already happened to him, he was no stranger to having one of his agreements finished because the other part found something he wasn't willing to give out.

—I understand —she nodded.

It wasn't like she was looking for a relationship. If she was honest, she was grateful to San for that freedom he was giving her; because the last thing she needed -and wanted- was to be involved with someone else romantically -at least, in a long time.

—I also need you to know that, just like I like sharing your pleasure with the rest, I'm also the type to pull some shows there —he mentioned, looking at her over the curve of his glass while he drank—. Remember the first night you went there and you got so flustered that you ended up running away? If you're mine, you'll be the one on those shows.

She remembered how nervous and strangely uncomfortable she became when she witnessed such an explicit scene, even more after seeing the people around the stage just enjoying what they were seeing as if there was no one else around them. And while she had never thought of doing something similar to that, the thought of her being in that woman's place, while San just did with her what he wanted created a feeling that her blood was running through her veins a bit faster.

After a few seconds of silence, that were so long that started to weight on her shoulder -to the point of making her move uncomfortably on the spot-, she spoke again:

—I have a hard limit. I mean, apart from the scat and bodily fluid thing you mentioned. If we go to the Spadix, I don't want to show my face.

She was able to let herself go the way she did the last time only because no one knew it was her. The same way she sneaked inside, she knew there would be coworkers going around there, and she wasn't willing to deal with the consequences of just some minutes of pleasure.

—It's acceptable —he nodded—, and you won't have to worry about it. Either way, your first times won't be in front of everyone —he assured her.

Of course he wasn't going to expose someone who was just getting started that way. Her first contact should always be with him only and then, when she had broken her shell, he'd guide her step by step towards the outside.

—Will I have to wear latex and stuff like that? I have sensitive skin —she admitted in a whisper, causing San to chuckle.

—I'm not into costumes, so your skin is safe.

When Y/n got up, and he was able to see the way her dress flew with each step he took, he couldn't help but be reminded of the way his hand was hidden under the light fabric. Right there, and with the biggest inspiration of his muse, he got an idea of what her punishment would be like.

The dishes came, and San rushed to put his aside, holding hers to cut her steak in a bite size, leaving her plate right in front of him. Y/n loved playing with fire when it came with him, and he was going to give her a light dose of her own medicine.

Y/n was confused when she saw a plate on the side of the table, while hers was in front of him, with San calmly looking at his phone while he waited for her. His eyes lifted innocently when he heard the clacking of her heels approaching where he was sitting.

—You have a new seat.

Her eyes wandered around their area, confused at his statement, until the chair squeaking when he dragged it enough to leave her some space helped her catch a glimpse of what was about to happen.

At first, she tried to work as hard not to leave her whole weight over his thighs, dividing it between her feet and calves, only to finally give it up and hear him let out a heavy breath when her ass covered his dick.

—Now eat all of your food, without making a sound. And I might rethink your punishment.

After she finally let go of her own weight, she thought it'd be no problem to deal with it. She wasn't the one who was uncomfortable, he was.

Or so she thought.

The edges of her skirt tickled her legs as San moved it up from the right side, until his fingers reached her panties.

—Eat your food, and don't let anyone know what's going on under here, hmm? —shiverings ran over her body when his warm breath caressed her earlobe.

She couldn't help but jump when his fingers found her clothed core, sliding its tips over her fabric so softly that she thought she'd melt, unconsciously spreading her thighs a bit wider. She'd have been able to deal with that, chewing slowly on the juicy and tender steak in front of her.

The movements of her jaw stopped, clenching at the sudden and direct touch of his fingers against her wet slid when they moved lower under the elastic of her panties.

—Fuck, sugar. You like being exposed so much? I didn't have to do anything and you're already getting me all wet —he mumbled against her shoulders, while his fingers started rubbing against her clit up and down—. Eat your food.

Aware of how she stopped, she took another bite, rewarded by his fingers pressing a little harder while making circles around her button.

—You're working so hard to get my cock inside of you —for a quick moment, his fingers pinched her clit, making her sit straight—. Next time I have you sitting like this on me, you'll be keeping my cock warm. How does that sound?

But Y/n was too focused on keeping her mouth full with food, and her lips sealed so not a single moan or whine would escape them. And that made San proud. Seeing her so close to the edge, so close to losing herself, yet at the same time working so hard to keep it all between them... he was damning himself for taking so long to speak with her and getting to where they were.

With each rub, her jaw clenched a bit tighter, her breath got shakier, and her brain was working harder to ignore the growing sensation on her belly to focus on chewing.

Her skin was burning with the first orgasm, closing her legs unconsciously, placing her heels over his feet to find some stability, thinking she'd have some time to recompose after. But his fingers didn't stop moving, keeping the speed, causing an electric feeling to shake her from head to toe as San prolonged her orgasm.

She even felt forced to drop the fork, with a piece of steak still pinched on its dents, just so she could try to reach his wrist to stop him from going on.

—It's been just one. You're already asking me to stop?

The second orgasm after that one was even bigger, momentarily feeling how her eyes moved to the back of her head.

If it weren't because he wanted their first time to be all about themselves only, the next route they'd go to would be that bathroom. But he'd have time for that another day.

Y/n was next to him in his car, looking through the window with a pout she wasn't trying to hide. She didn't care about cumming four times with just his fingers, and having her legs shake so much that she was barely able to stand up later. She wasn't embarrassed when a waiter almost caught them as she escaped a soft moan when he passed by. But she did expect some naughty and dirty sex in the bathroom as a reward for doing what she was told.

Instead, he patted her leg after the desserts and guided her to get up so they could leave the restaurant and he could drop her off at her place.

He had set her on fire twice that day, only to send her off somewhere else instead of his bed.

—Anything you want to say? —he lifted his eyebrow.

—I can't understand how you're so calm after what you did —she muttered, trying to keep her tone as low as possible.

—Did you feel bad about it? —he mocked her with a grin.

—No —her answer was so quick that even she was surprised at how she exposed herself—. It wasn't on my bingo card, but since you started, you could've finished it.

—Someone still doesn't understand the roles, huh? —he rested his back against the seat of his car— Fine.

—I do understand the roles, but...

She recognized the street, but she was even faster to point out the man who was waiting outside of her building. She couldn't understand how Andy knew where she was living, but it made even less sense how he showed up there after she clearly stated she wanted to have nothing to do with him.

—Bend forward and don't move until I say so.

That time, Y/n had nothing to say, nothing to fight back for. The car started beeping when she undid her belt, able to bend her body forward as much as possible, and hide from anyone who could peek through the window.

She had always been grateful to her years doing skating, but her flexibility was one of the things that she thanked the most for keeping.

She didn't know where they were going, or what they were going to do. But one thing was for sure: she trusted San and the uncertainty around him more than her ex boyfriend and whatever scene he could come up with. 

Taglist: @brown88

[geraltofriviacollection]

Chapter Four

Paring: Geralt x Reader

Summary: Reader is thrown into the Witcher’s world. Will she survive? Eventual smut may come about😉

A/N: This is the fourth part in a series. I as usual have not edited or proofread. Please do not repost, translate or copy my work without permission. Please leave comments! ❤️ @sparks363​ - I didn’t forget you babes xoxo

Chapter One    Chapter Two   Chapter Three

“I’m not talking about it.” I whisper shout at him across the fire. I peek over at Ciri to make sure she’s still asleep.

“Avoiding talking about it won’t make it go away.” He says looking at me with those stupid golden judgmental eyes.

For the past 2 days I have avoided talking about my little power show at Nevillen’s. Partly because I’m freaked the fuck out about it and partly because I’m freaked THE FUCK. The look Geralt has been giving me is not the ‘I want to slam you against the wall in a hot way’ but the ‘I’m going to get this out of you one way or another. You might not like the other.’ Kind of way. So far I have managed to dodge every question about this. I definitely feel myself losing my resolve.

“Really? So far avoiding it has been working.” I reply looking back down at my hands. I hear his frustrated sigh for the 70th time about this.

“Must you be this stubborn about this?” He says with a slight edge in his voice.

“Must you be so fucking pushy about this?” I quietly hissed.

“For her safety, yes. Now are you going to tell me or keep wasting my time?” He growls lowly. I look over to Ciri for a moment and then back to Geralt.

“I..I don’t know what happened. When I heard Ciri cry out… it felt like something snapped. Like a rope pulled too tight. The next thing I knew Vereena was impaled and I was exhausted.”I look back at the flames flickering in the fire.

“Can you control it?” He asks.

“No..I…I don’t know. Maybe?” I shrug.

“Fuck.” He murmurs. Fuck indeed.

The road to Kaer Morhen was a long and cold one. My favorite part was how uneventful it was. No dangers lurking around the corner. Ciri and I grew closer, sharing loud laughs and swapping stories . He liked it, I know it made him happy if only to see Ciri laugh even when we got a bit loud. During the journey Geralt and I stayed clear of each other unless Ciri was awake. No idle conversation unless it was a “Are you hungry? I’m going to get firewood. You should sleep. Type of things. Our relationship mimicked awkward divorced parents forced to live in the same house sharing custody of their kid. My whole glowing energy thing has been rather non existent. Ciri and Geralt seem to think it only happens under extreme stress. Which doesn’t exactly explain why I didn’t kick some as at my kidnapping. Sleeping outside in the cold though not a big fan of that. Eating outside in the cold. Peeing outside in the cold two words fucking bullshit.

When we finally had Kaer Morhen in our sight I sagged in relief even if it looked considerably worse than in the show. The snow still falling around us as Ciri and I dismount from Roach. I look around trying to remember where I can find a door that leads to warmth. How Geralt and Ciri aren’t anxious to get inside puzzles me. Eventually I follow Geralt into a hall considerably big for the amount of people in the room. I look down at ciri and give her a “reassuring” smile. Ciri then looks to Geralt who gives her the only smile I have ever seen from him which is huge.

Geralt walks up to one of the men in the room and they meet in the middle. After an odd welcome they embrace each other with smiles and laughs. Ciri and I look at each other in slight shock at the sight in front of us. I shrug as our attention turns back to the men. I begin walking to them with Ciri right by my side. An older man with white hair that almost matches Geralt stands. I can only assume that’s the famous Vesemir. Ciri walks to stand behind Geralt with me on the other side of Ciri. The ever needed buffer between the two of us. Vesemir nods questioningly at the two of us. Vesemir locks eyes assessing narrowing at Ciri before he looks at me. I raise my eyebrow in a slight challenge before a smirk comes to his lips. Geralt moves to greet all the men in the hall.

Soon we sit and begin eating. My favorite part more than food was being warm even with the gaping hole in the ceiling. I laugh at the stories the men swap becoming drunker with time.The relief only lasted a short time before remembering the next part in this story as Eskel entered the hall. While everyone is making toast.

“Too forgetting the fucking path for one fucking night. Who’s ready?” He shouts as feral goes to greet him.

“Eskel.” They all say warmly. As Geralt hugs him. They share a laugh at Eskel’s expense when suddenly he notices Ciri. Before he can get too close I step in front of him.

“Who the hell are you?” He frowns at me. I let out a small breath when he focuses on me instead.

“Not the one that took six hours to fight a monster.” I say. The room breaks out in concealed laughs at my comment. Eskels face scrunches in dislike. He looks around me to look at Ciri.

“And who the hell is she then?”

With all the poise of royalty she leans back. “I am Princess Cirilla of Centra. Pleasure to meet you.” I look down to hide my smile.

Sometime later I find myself wandering the castle. If it weren’t for the gaping holes, the rats, and the complete lack of indoor plumbing it wouldn’t be so bad. Trying to find a bathtub around here has proven less than fruitful. I keep my search going only to run into Vesemir.

“If you tell me what you are looking for I might be able to help you ,my lady.”

“I’ve been looking for a bathtub. It’s been almost two weeks and I’m smelling pretty ripe.” I laugh a little awkwardly. Vesemir looks at me and chuckles.

“There’s a hot spring in the lower parts of the keep. I will escort you. Where is the girl? I’m sure she would like to bathe as well.” He says, leading me to the hot springs.

“I’m sure she is somewhere she shouldn’t be. Doing something Geralt told her not to do.” I sigh just thinking about it.

“You protect the girl as if she is yours.”

“She certainly feels like it these days. What gave me away?” I laugh.

He chuckles. “You putting yourself between her and Eskel certainly didn’t help with keeping your secret if that was what you were intending.”

“Well I suppose subtleties are best used for politicians rather than Witcher’s.”

“Geralt told me about you,” He said looking at me.

“I’m not surprised by that. If he told you, you know I can’t answer any questions about the future. Trying to talk about it or interfering in critical moments leaves me in pain.” I explain.

“Geralt said that you know him. That you know all about his past and Ciri’s.”

“I know more of the major moments than the small details.” I say. I begin to hear music playing and the faint sound of happy voices.  “I know that Deglan was the one who created the monsters that witchers kill and are killed by.” The shock on his face lasted for a split second, but I still see it. “These things are known where I’m from.” I explained.

“How did you get here? Why are you here?”

“I don’t know. I simply woke up here in the middle of the snow. My best guess as to why I think I’m here to protect Ciri.” I sigh and shrug.

“You know about the night she fled Cintra. You also know what she is.” He states more than asking ,eyes narrowing again. I say nothing. “What are you?” He asks.

“Fairly fucked I’d  say but only time will tell.” He laughs at my words and I can’t help but smile. Better to laugh than cry. We start to pass the great hall as the cheering becomes louder. I turn the corner to see topless women and half drunk men grinding against them. I sigh in annoyance.

“They all become idiots when women are involved.” He says laughing as he watches on.

“It’s nice to know men stay consistent no matter where I go.” I say and Vesemir laughs again. I look to see Geralt come out. I look around for Ciri and see her nowhere to be found. I turn to Vesemir to speak, he interrupts me before I can get the words out.

“Go on, find the girl. I will show you the spring once you have her.” He gestures with his chin. I give him a grateful smile. I walk down the stairs to find where Geralt has left Ciri. When I get there I see one of the women holding his hand in her’s. The smallest part of me is annoyed watching that.

“-softest thing about you was that you paid.”

“She’s not my daughter.”

“Oh well in that case I could take her in. She’d have the boys eating out of her hands.” She says still rubbing his arm. I interrupt just as Geralt takes a step forward threateningly. He wouldn’t kill her but Unwilling to take the chance I step in front of him.

“That’s a big fuck no. I’d say thank you for your interest but I would be lying. I’m not sure I’d like to waste her education on whoring. Tell me, can you read?” I give her a toothy smile. She starts to say something when I hear a slight growl from Geralt before he turns with an irritated look walking away.

“I didn’t need your help.” He says as I turn around.

“I know you didn’t but she did. Where is your not daughter, daughter at?” I ask him. He looks down at me, narrowing those golden eyes before grunting. “I feel like we have been over this before. Grunting is not an answer. Where is she?” I snap.

“In the armory. I told her to stay there.” I sigh. Pinching the bridge of my nose because if we have learned anything Ciri rarely listens. I turn and begin but before I even take a step I see Eskel. I pause. My chest falls into my stomach and I feel myself growing warm like with the bruxa. Geralt pushes me in the door frame behind us.

“You were starting to glow. What is it?” He asked. I meet his eyes. I start shaking my head. “Something is going to happen isn’t it? He questions me again. I look down at my feet.

“I can’t tell you. You know that.” I feel a wave of sorrow come over me for Geralt. Knowing the next part won’t be easy for him killing his brother. On instinct I grab his hand giving it a light squeeze. “I’m sorry Geralt.” I whisper.

I let go of his hand and turned away, beginning to walk through the crowd to make my way to the lab. I see Eskel with a blonde haired woman. I stop for just a second and he meets my eyes for a moment before turning around and places his lips to hers peeking at me. Geralt passes me and pulls him away from the women. I turn and rush to Ciri. I run around forgetting where the armory is. Eventually I find the armory and Ciri in it with Vesemir and feel relieved.

“I’m not sure if I should be more surprised that you are where Geralt said you would be or if you actually listened to him and stayed.” I laugh. She turns and smiles at me with a blush of embarrassment and Vesemir laughs. “Vesemir agreed to take us to the hot springs. Only if you are finished here?” I grin. Ciri nods her head when the room shakes a bit and dust falls from the ceiling.  Vesemir and I lock eyes and he leaves without a word.

“What is it?” Cir ask looking at me. I grab her wrist and start pulling her behind me to our rooms. She pulls her arm from my hand and I stop. “What’s happening?” She demands.

“Geralt is in trouble and I need to make sure you’re safe.” I grab her and turn to walk again. She pulls away from me again. “Ciri we don’t have time for this!” I shout.

“If Geralt is in trouble then we need to help him.” She says Bolting to find Geralt. I run after her but she’s fast.

“Fuck. fuck. Fuck. fuck. Fuck. fuck.” I chant running after her. This is not what happens in the fucking show!! 

I finally catch up with Ciri at the lab she enters and Geralt turns his head to Ciri telling her to run, getting him impaled by Eskel. He grunts in pain as Eskel pulls the branch back out of Geralt’s side. I run to grab Ciri and just as I am about to reach for her a branch wraps around her waist and pulls her away from me. The burning starts quickly. I scream and go after her. I manage to doge the branches. Vesemir is trying to wiggle out from the branches surrounding him. Ciri screams, reaching for Geralt. I see Eskel start squeezing Ciri and Vesemir tighter.

What happens next feels like someone has pulled me out of the front seat in my mind. I watch myself  shatter the branches that have slid up wrapping around me. Every branch that comes my way sets fire as soon as it touches me. I vaguely hear the screams from the leche as I walk forward. It lets go of the girl  throwing her across the room. I throw out a hand that catches her in a shield and I lower her to the ground. The black eyed man tries to chase after her when another vine wraps around him, tossing him into a wall.

My head snaps back to the monster in front of me. The vines that once held the girl all come shooting from me and they quickly burn away.  When I finally reach the Leshy at the center of the room, I stop and look at him. His head cocks to the side as his vines loosen around the old man. I see his mouth move but I don’t hear the words as I shove my hand through his chest and the center of him begins to smoke. The sounds around me still don’t register. I pull my hand from his chest and watch as he falls to the ground.

The older man approaches me. I look at him. From the corner of my eye I see a man walking to the girl. I throw out a hand that blasts him back. I move to the girl and see her lying there eyes closed. I lean down to touch her when I hear someone calling a name. My head whips around. The black eyed man is coming near me. I feel myself burn hotter as he nears and I sneer as he steps closer to us. He holds up both of his hands as he takes another step.

Some part of me must finally recognize him when I feel the energy burning against me start to dissipate. I feel my breathing calm and I slowly feel like I am being pulled back into my body. I stand there looking at Geralt confused. As to why he’s standing like that. I open my mouth to ask him when I lose the ability to stand. Geralt catches me before I hit the floor. My eyes feel incredibly heavy and I sink into oblivion.

[sturnioloblogs]

Socs

Fem!reader x the outsiders gang!

Summary: You go for a walk, but will happen?

A/n: holy shit I am so sorry I have not been on here in months. That’s actually kind of crazy but I have recently been getting into the outsiders and I absolutely love them so this is a random fic about them… feel free to read or don’t I don’t really care. Also if you want more like this just request.

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“Y/N! SUPPER!” Darry called my name from the kitchen. It was a mild night, not too cold not too warm, just the perfect temperature.

I jumped up from by bed to go eat supper, man i was hungry. Us greasers don’t eat in the cafeteria at school- or eat at all, stupid socs make fun of us and we honestly can’t be bothered to deal with their shit.

The dark beaten up hardwood floor was cold on my bare feet, which made me feel all tingly inside.

I turned the corner to the dinning room to find the whole gang here eating supper. Usually Johnny would eat at our house since his parents couldn’t care enough about him, but of corse he was always welcome at ours. Me and Ponyboy were the closest to Johnny out of the whole gang- well besides from Dally but he was older than us.

“Oh hey y’all” I said, sitting at the head of the table was Darry, and across from him was Twobit. There was an empty seat next to Ponyboy, which he probably left for me. We always sit next to eachother. Since we are twins it sometimes feels like we are the same person, but not exactly but close enough. And everyone knew that nothing could get between me and him, but of course we would fight we are siblings after all.

“Hey y/n, how was school?” Soda asked me with a soft smile. “It was alright you know the usual” I replied. Man did i ever hate school, always wanted to get outa that hellhole. I’ve only mentioned dropping out once to Darry, let me tell you one thing. It did not got well at all.

The soft chatter of talking was always nice to me, i never liked the silence, especially at dinner time.

“Darry can i got on a walk after supper? Please?” I asked. Everyone knew i loved walks, but they were dangerous at night, especially on a Friday. But i asked anyway.

“God y/n no, it’s too dangerous” Darry said with a straight face.

“Please i will bring my blade with me, i just need to clear my head” that was partially true, I had a lot on my mind recently and needed to let out some built-up stress.

“You are only going if one of the boys go with you!” Darry raised his voice. Now everyone had stopped eating to watched the scene that was going on at the dinner-table. It wasn’t uncommon for me and Darry to get into screaming matches, but right now i don’t even want to try.

The whole gang is very protective over me. I guess because im the only girl and well i’m not that big either. Only 5’1 and roughly 95lbs. Considering Darry Dallas and all the other Socs were well over 6ft it was a little scary not being to big.

“Ugh Darry please??! I don’t want anyone to go with me, i’ll only walk up the street and around the block” i Pleaded.

“Fine! just go, I’m not getting into another fight with you again.” He rolled his eyes. I gave him a small ‘thank you’, and got up from my seat to put the dishes in the sink.

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I had only been walking for about 5 minutes when i heard a loud “GREASER!!!” from behind me, i glanced over my shoulder. A blue mustang driving fairly fast towards me. Well oh shit.

I started speed waking, well almost sprinting now, hoping they’d lose interest or just wonder off somewhere else.

Before i could even think or process what was happening, i was ripped from my train of thought by someone coming up from behind me and pushing me to the wet concrete road. I couldn’t figure out how many there was but it was somewhere between 3-5.

I grounded and rolled over in pain before I felt a harsh punch to my left cheek. Screaming in pain, Warm liquid was oozing out of my nose. They were drunk. I could smell the awful smell of cheap alcohol on their breaths.

As they still had a hold of me another punch came out of nowhere, a brutal strike that slammed into my gut like a sledgehammer. Air whooshed from my lungs, and I tried to curl up into a ball, the sharp pain spreading through my ribs like wildfire. Laughter rang out around me, their voices rough and mocking, as one of them grabbed my shirt and yanked me upright. My vision blurred, but I caught a glimpse of their faces. Another punch followed, this time to my cheek- again and I tasted blood as my knees buckled. The ground felt cold and unforgiving beneath me, I clenched my fists, trying to steady the spinning world around me.

In the distance I heard a faint “Hey get the fuck away from her!!” It was the gang.

All the socs scurried away into the blue Mustang and drove off with a screech.

“H-holy shit! Help her!” Twobit yelled? I think it was him, I was still sorta out of it so i wasn’t completely sure who i was hearing.

Next thing i know i’m being shook slightly by Darry and sodapop. “Y/n? Can you hear me?” Darry asked trying to stop the blood from pouring out of my nose with his jacket. I slightly opened my eyes and above me i saw a spinning Darry Sodapop and Dallas. and the night sky.

“D-darry?” I coughed out and rolled to my side only to spit out the metallic taste of liquid. “Woah woa take it easy, it’s okay we’re here now..” Soda said while patting my back gently.

I got scooped up by Darry before everything going black.

When i starting to wake up again i heard faint whispers around me, and shuffling around.

I growned and slowly opened my eyelids to find 4 figures standing over me.

“Guys guys she’s waking up!” Ponyboy exclaimed.

I sat up quickly, almost to fast because i all of a sudden i felt a throbbing pain in my head and felt onto my back.

“Geez y/n take it easy don’t get up!” Soda said. Then everything came flooding back to my memory. The socs, getting jumped, and the pain.

“ay shit, it hurts” I said while a few stray tears fell down my face. I mean at least i was laying on the couch- not the cold concrete that i was recently laying on.

“Well i bet, you got jumped by a bunch of Socs. I told you to not go! but of corse you did anyway.” Darry said walking towards my head. I honestly couldn’t reply i was so fed up with everything i didn’t care.

“Darry give her a damn break!” Thankfully Soda stood up and said something for me. He always did.

[crazyf0rswayze]

Dallas: I'll Make it Up!!

Can you do dally of when he forgets about a date and forgets about the reader so than she goes to Darry’s house and sees him and they make up aka smut

Warnings: cursing, smut, mentions of being submissive vs dominant.

Y/N POV

It was our monthly date night...and he forgot. How could he forget!? It's the same day every month! The third Friday of the month! I'm all dolled up. A new dress, a different style of makeup and he's a half hour late. He's never ever this late. He forgot. I decide to go over to Darry's house instead to talk to him. We've been friends for a little bit, and that's how I met Dallas. He has always been there to talk to, and he gives pretty good advice. It takes a few minutes to walk over to his house and when I get there....Dallas is having a full blown conversation with Johnny. I wouldn't have an issue with it if it weren't date night. There were three people in the house. Darry, Dally, and Johnny. 

"Hey Y/n, what's up? How are you?" Darry asks from the kitchen. 

"Fine" I mumble and walk over to the counter. I sit on it and Darry just looks at Dallas and then me. 

"What's wrong?" He asks. His brows furrowed with concern.

"Dallas and I were supposed to have a date and he forgot. We had reservations and it's too late now" I say in a whisper. I was looking down at the ground, afraid to meet Darry's eyes thinking I might cry. 

"Go talk to him" Darry replies whispering. 

"No. He's talking to Johnny" I say

"Go say hi or something. Once you guys start talking I'll get out for a bit and bring Johnny with me. I'll meet up with Soda and Pony or something. Ok?" He explains. I'm looking at the floor still, so he leans down so his face blocks my view. He has a nice smile plastered on his face. I chuckle and look back up. Darry smiles again and walks back over to the other side of the kitchen to read the paper. 

"Hey Dal" I say quietly. 

"Hey doll. Why are you all dolled up?" Dallas asks. 

"Hey Johnny. Let's um...let's meet up with the boys for some ice cream" Darry says. 

"Sure! Bye Dallas. I'll see you tomorrow " Johnny says. He waves and walks out the door with Darry.

"Um....Dallas we had a date today. That's why I'm all dolled" I say, not looking in his eyes.

DALLAS'S POV

Shit...I'm complete forgot. How could I be so damn stupid!? It's the same every month!

"Baby! I'm so so sorry! I-I complete forgot. It slipped my mind. I-I'll make it up to you!" I say. I had never ever forgotten a date, and this definitely hurt her. And I didn't want her hurt. But I didn't really know how to make it up to her. Well.... I guess there is a way.

"How!? I was so excited for this date! Dallas how could you make it up!?" Y/n says. Her voice was a little angry, but she wasn't raising her voice, which was good...I guess.

"Well...we could start by taking this off" I say, reaching for the thin straps of her dress.

"You know I can't say no to that" she says, letting a smile spread across her beautiful face. 

"But we can't fuck on one of the Curtis' beds"

"We can take their parents old room....or Sodapop's room because he sleeps with Pony"

"You lead the way" she says. I smile and grab her hand, taking her to their parents old room. Lots of the things were moved out, and put into storage, so it was quite empty.

Y/N POV

It was most certainly a little weird that we were about to have sex in their house, but God I needed him right here right now, and it was so weird. I was so mad at him and now I'm aching for him inside me. Dallas spun me around, bringing me away from my thoughts and back to reality. My back was to him.... He lifts my skirt up and feels me through my lace panties.

"Baby...you're very wet. Why is that?" He asks teasingly

"B-because you said you'd make it up to me...a-and I really like that we're going to do it this way" I say a little nervous.

"Good..." He says. He slowly unzips my dress, and it falls to the floor. I shudder at the cold air hitting my exposed breasts. 

"No bra? Mmm" He says. He cups my breasts, and slowly starts to massage them. He starts to kiss my neck, leaving a hickey. I let out little whimpers as he nibbles at my sensitive skin. 

"Dallas" I moan out.

"Yes darling?" He asks, pulling his head away from my neck. 

"That feels nice...but can we do something else?" I ask softy. 

"Of course darling. You tell me what you want. Tonight you can take charge" he says. 

"How about you take your shirt and jeans of baby" I say. He steps away from me, and I hear him undo his buckle and pull his jeans down. He pulls his shirt off, and he walks back over. 

"Is this better?" He asks. I could feel his warm body up against mine, and his bulge against my ass. 

"Yes. Now...how about you get on your knees in front of me" I suggest. He walks in front of me, and slowly gets on his knees. He looks up at me....and he looked so submissive. It was so hot, and it most certainly made the pool in my underwear worse. He reaches for my panties, and pulls them off. They fall to my ankles, and I step forward, and away from them. His nose is right above my wetness. He reaches a hand up, and feels me again. I whimper at the feeling of his digits on me. 

"So wet for me" he whispers, the warm air coming from his mouth hitting my pussy. I buck my hips forward, and hit his lips. I pull them back and Dallas leans forward and into me. He wraps his arms around my thighs, as his tongue connects with my arousal soaked cunt. I let out soft moans. He felt so good, and he always knew what I needed and how I wanted it. That's what I loved about him. His tongue went between my lips, and circled my clit before going back and teasing my entrance. 

"Mmmm" I moan out. My one hand was massaging my breast and the other was tangled in Dally's hair. My head was tilted back in pleasure, and my eyes were closed for the same reason. One of Dallas's arms slowly departs from my leg, and goes to my pussy. Dallas pulls the tip of his tongue out of me, and replaces it with a finger. I let out a loud moan, and then Dallas adds another digit inside. I whimper and moan as he makes me feel good. He moved his fingers in and out slowly, and his tongue circles, sucks and nibbles on my clit. He hasn't done that before...he hasn't nibbled on me but it felt to damn good. Too good to keep my moans down. I was loudly moaning at all the sensations. Dallas hums into me, sending vibrations through my core. 

"Dallas! Mmmm! You're making me feel so good!" I cry out. He hums again. I buck my hips and then pull them back. He starts to do everything a little faster, getting me closer and closer to my release. He's looking up at me with eyes full of love and full of the need to make me feel good. They could send me over the edge, and they did. My body starts to tremble and shake as I cum. Dallas quickly stands up, and holds my body with one hand, his other hand it's fingers still in me. He makes small little thrusts, almost unnoticeable, as I ride out my high. I lean into his body once I'm done, and he pets my hair. 

"Good girl" he says. He finally pulls his fingers out of me, and they're coated with my juices. He lifts his hand up to my lips, and taps my lips. I open up my mouth, and he puts his digits in my mouth.

"Mmmmmm" I moan out as I taste myself. I suck on him, and I run my tongue on and between his fingers, cleaning them off. He looks at me with a mischievous smirk. He knew what he was doing, making me submissive again. I'm not sure I would let it happen though.... After a minute, he pulls his fingers out of my mouth. I swallow every last bit of the juices in my mouth. 

DALLAS'S POV

She was hot when she was all dominate. I'm not really a submissive guy but god she could change that and I loved that. 

"I think I want you on the bed..." She says. I walk over to the bed and lie down. She comes over and straddles me, making me harder than ever. She takes my boxers off, throwing them to the side. Y/n takes my hard cock in her hands any slowly pumps it, speaking all my pre-cum all over my member. 

"Dallas darling, do you have a condom?" She asks all hot.

"Y-yes. It's in my wallet. I can grab it if you'd like" I reply a little nervous for God knows why.

"No its ok" she says. She gets up, and walks over to my jeans, pulling my wallet out of them. She opens it up and takes a look

"Dallas Tucker Winston...aged 21?" she says, reading my ID. 

"I almost forgot your middle name was Tucker...so cute. But why 21?" she says. Her voice gets all high pitched when she says cute, like she's talking to her dog. She fumbles through my wallet in the darkness, and finds the condom I keep in there. She walks back over too me, straddles me again, and opens up the condom. She rolls it on and I buck my hips up at her light touch. I needed more so badly.

"It says 21 so I can buy bee-" Y/n aligns my member with her entrance, and slowly slides down on it. The pleasure of her in me cuts me off. She lets out loud moans and whimpers as her hole gets stretched by my cock. 

"Feel good?" I ask. 

"Y-yes." She replies. She puts her hands on my stomach and puts her weight on my briefly before starting to go up and down on me. She moves her hands and puts them on my thighs so she can lean back in all her pleasure. She leans back slightly and knocks her head back. She starts off with slow bounces, and then starts going way faster. She's a loud moaning mess for me...

Y/N POV

It has been a little bit since Dallas and I had sex, so it felt better than it usually would because of waiting so long. 

"Aaah. Dally it feels t-too good" I say. All Dallas does is place his hands on my hips, steadying me and helping me go up and down. After a little bit he moves one hand and rapidly starts to rub my clit. The pleasure was too much, but I still wanted to go so much longer. 

"D-dallas can I please cum!?" I plead and whine

DALLAS'S POV

Even though she was very dominant right now, it was so hot to see her be submissive and ask to cum.

"Wait a little bit ok?"

Y/N POV

I was glad and mad he told me to wait because soon it would be too much. I could feels myself pulse and clench on him for a split second and go back to normal as I neared the edge.

"DALLY PLEASE I NEED TO CUM!" I yell and plead for his permission.

"Go darling! Come on, cum on my cock." He says as I start to cum. I completely lose myself and fall onto his perfect body to steady me. My head was knocked back and my back was arched so my stomach was pushed closer to his. He wraps his arms around my shaking body. I soon calm down, and he kisses my head.

"You did so good baby. Good girl" he coos. All I can do is hum. 

"I have to get up. I have to clean you up baby." He says. I pout not wanting his cock to leave from inside of me. He smiles at me.

"Ok... fine" I say. I slowly get off him and plop next to him instead. He stand up and pulls his boxers back on. 

"I'll be back ok?" 

"Ok" I respond. I go under the covers and cozy up as I wait for Dally. He comes back quickly and kneels on the bed. He holding a towel. He slides his hands under the blanket and reaches my thigh, rubbing it. 

"Open baby, I have to wipe you off" he says very sweetly. He was a very sweet guy when you got to know him.

"Ok" I say in a barley audible whisper. I open up my legs, and he slowly reaches over to my pussy. He wipes my juices with the damp towel and then pulls it away.

"Good girl" he coos. He takes his condom off, ties it, and throws it away. He then cleans his dick off with the towel. He crawls in bed with me and wraps his arms around my waist. 

"You did so good tonight. I'm proud baby." Dally praises. God I loved it when he praised me.

"Thank you" I say

"Are you still mad at me" he asks 

"Maybe...maybe just thiisss much" I say. I pinch my fingers together with about 3 centimeters between them.

"Ok...that's good" he says with a breathy chuckle. I look up at him and he kisses my lips. 

"Let's get some sleep ok?"

"Ok" I say as I snuggle into him. I rest my head on his chest, and wrap my arms around his toned figure. 

"I love you" I say

"I love you too" he says. I feel his kiss the top of my head as I close my eyes to sleep. I'm about to drift off when we hear the front door open

"WERE BACK! BUT YOU TOO CAN SLEEP" Darry calls out. I have a feeling he knows what we did....

[enhaloverss]

Do you hate me? pt. 1

There we are, the day I’m being transferred is here. I can’t believe I’m actually leaving Beauxbâtons to go to Hogwarts. Everything sounds so weird to me, new school, new friends, new classes. I can’t lie I’m actually stressed about it all and not ready for this new chapter of my life to begin but I don’t really have a choice do I?

If only my brother didn’t go to Hogwarts and didn’t get fired for mysterious reasons.

Yes, I’m being transferred because of this idiot of a brother I have. Sam. He is two years older than me and he got expelled from Hogwarts a few months ago. My parents never knew why, the professors all claim that he was an ‘unstable’ child, and they’re not wrong tho, but my parents believe there’s something fishy about it all, so they’re sending me there to try and find more about it.

I told them it was a stupid idea and it was probably gonna get me fired too but for some reasons they believe I’m smarter than him and won’t get caught. What they don’t know is that I’m not planning to play the detectives at all. If I’m moving schools it’s to actually enjoy my time here and meet new people, what Sam did is honestly not my problem, if he wants to fuck up his school years then the floor is his, but I’m not gonna make the same mistakes.

The loud screeching of the train’s wheels is taking me out of my daydreaming. I’m on the platform ready to embark for my first year at Hogwarts, which is the third one there by the way. I would have rather entered the school in first year like everybody else but we can’t control everything I guess, even more when your parents are separated and one lives in France while the other lives in England.

When our parents divorced, Sam and I got separated too, he went in England with our father and I went in France with our mother, which explains why we didn’t go to the same schools.

A door opens right before me and I hope on, trying to get my excessively heavy luggage in.

Once I do, I start trailing in the corridor, looking for an empty cabinet I could find peace in to enjoy my trip.

After what seems like an eternity, I stumble upon one, open the door and engulf myself inside. I drop my bag on the couch of one side and put my cat beside me. One great thing about Hogwarts that we couldn’t have in Beauxbâtons is our pets. I sit on the couch letting a sigh I’ve been holding for a century and close my eyes, this year is gonna be something, I can feel it.

I open my eyes to a voice entering my precious space and getting me out of my princess sleep.

I look up to see a girl, apparently struggling as much as I was to get her things in.

-Hum, do you need a hand?

She turns her head and looks at me in surprise before breaking into a wide smile.

-Oh, hum yeah thanks I’d like that, I didn’t see you here, sorry if bothered you.

-No it’s fine.

I got up to help her put her things in the cabinet (where it could fit because damn the girl had at least a hundred kilos of clothes), and she sits in front of me, extending her hand.

-I’m Violet, nice to meet you!

I shake her hand before introducing myself.

-Y/n, nice to meet you too.

-I’ve haven’t seen you around, are you in first year? You seem older than that.

-No, I’m actually gonna start my third year, I’m being transferred from Beauxbâtons, I thought I was gonna be in first year but both schools decided that I had the knowledge needed to continue where I stopped.

-Oh that’s cool! I’m also in third year! Maybe we’ll be in the same house after your sorting.

Oh, the sorting, I almost forgot about that detail. I honestly think the idea behind is cool but honestly, putting a hat on my head in front of everyone for it tell my deepest secrets to the entire world (I may be a bit exaggerating but that’s what it felt like to me), is not really my thing.

I let out a sigh and let me head fall on the cushion behind me, while Violet grins before giggling quietly.

-Don’ t worry y/n, It’s gonna go well, it’s a bit stressful but I promise it only lasts like 2 seconds.

-Yeah? God I’m suddenly missing Beauxbâtons’ sorting method.

-By the way, why are you being transferred?

-My parents made me, because of my brother, Sam.

-Wait, you’re Sam’s sister? Sam y/l/n? The Fourth year Ravenclaw that got expelled last year?

-It is me yeah, and yes that idiot is my brother.

-Oh I see, this is gonna be really interesting, Jungwon is sure not gonna like you.

-Excuse me, who?

-Jungwon. He’s in third year too this year, he’s a Gryffindor. Don’t ask me why but your brother and him despised each other, I heard that it was because of the Quidditch, your brother was on Ravenclaw’s team and he is on Gryffindor’s team. They spent the whole first two years bickering with each other about who was gonna win the cup, and when your brother got expelled Jungwon got all cocky saying they were gonna win now.

-I see, I have some stuff to dig in, but I’m gonna make sure this kid understands we are not the same person and he has no reason to hate me, and if he still does I guess I’ll have to apply to be in the Quidditch team, make him see how talented we are in the family.

Violet’s eyes opened wide before she bursted out laughing.

-I like that y/n, keep up that attitude and you’ll make my school year 10 times more exciting.

-I take that as a compliment.

The rest of the travel got by pretty fast, with Violet telling me all about the drama between my brother and this Jungwon guy, and it was honestly amusing. I just hope he doesn’t cause me trouble.

Arriving at Hogwarts was actually truly fucking amazing, Sam didn’t lie to me about that one for sure. We went to the castle by carriage in the forest and even if it was a bit cold, the ride was really appreciable. I’ve always liked the cold breeze on my face more than the sun.

When we arrived we were told our baggage would be taken to the hall and to the rooms, mine right after my sorting.

We entered the halls and a lot of students were already there, sitting at the tables, not caring at all about the sorting but only about the delicious buffet that was gonna take place after. The director, Dumbledore, an old man with a long white beard, asked for silence and started giving his speech welcoming all of the new students. He looked ahead of him and stared at me for a few seconds before diverting his eyes somewhere else in the crowd. Looks like someone already knows who I am.

Then, Professor McGonagall, apparently a brilliant woman by the say of my brother, explained how the sorting was gonna go. Once she was done, she took out a list and before I could understand what was happening, she said my name. All eyes turned on me, not the first years of course, and I knew it was time.

I breathed in and walked to the chair in front of the director, before turning around and sitting.

Then, I felt the sorting hat being put on my head, and seconds later it started to speak.

-Hum, I see, a y/l/n. But you are different from your brother on a lot of points. I see loyalty, for your friends and family, you’re not scared to protect the people you love. But you are on the contrary really accepting, you have a high moral and you’re not afraid to say when something is wrong or right. Hard work is also important for you and you strongly believe that you have nothing without working for it. I think I know where to put you…

I closed my eyes and breathed out, ready to hear the sorting hat decide my fate.

-Hufflepuff!!!

I guess it’s not that bad, I like Hufflepuff, from what I know from it.

I stood up and started walking towards my table before hearing a voice I knew well now.

-Y/n!!

Standing right next to the Hufflepuff’s table was Violet, a smile on her face, waving her hand at me.

I smiled back and went to her, giving her a hug. We sat next to each other right before the buffet appeared. A long and never ending table of stuffed pies, rotisserie chickens, mashed potatoes, veggies, fruits, candies, cookies and so much more. Violet and I looked at each other before digging in and getting ourselves some well deserved food.

-You’re also in Hufflepuff I’m so happy, we’re gonna have all of our classes together!

-I know, I’m really happy to have at least one friend already, and actually, you were right, the sorting wasn’t that bad.

-See, told you.

-The only bad thing about it is the smell of the hat. I honestly don’t know if they washed that thing at last once in the past century.

We both laughed at that and we were enjoying the dinner, getting the know each other, since I was gonna share the school year with her, when I felt like someone was staring at me. I mean, a lot of people were staring at me at first but then went on with their lives, I wasn’t the main attraction, only the sister of some dude who got expelled, nothing to get excited about. But I could feel like someone was still staring at me, you know the kind of stare you can feel burning holes through your head. I turned around, trying to find the culprit when my eyes landed on the table of the Gryffindors, and on one particular boy. He was delicate looking, with sharp eyes but soft features.

Violet who was talking to me noticed I wasn’t paying attention anymore and turned around to see me having a staring contest with the boy, before I turned around to face her again.

-Don’t tell me anything, Jungwon isn’t it?

-Yep, seems like he’s already curious about the sister of his arch nemesis.

I playfully elbowed her and rolled my eyes at her comment. Seems like this year is gonna be full of drama.

[sugarplumxx]

honeysuckle - aki h.

aki hayakawa loves his sister, perhaps a little too much…

cw: dark content, nsfw, incest, mental illness, trauma, gore/accidental self-harm, guilt (aki does bad things and feels bad about it), noncon, grooming/underage assault, so so many other things

aki might be ooc but i really wanted to write this for him <;/3

this has a LOT of triggering potential so interact at your own discretion!

“Aki…taste this!”

Your soft little voice rings out in the meadow as you bound over towards the boy, your hand outstretched with a few small flowers inside. 

“Taste it?” Your brother scrunches up his nose. “What are you talking about, stupid?”

“It tastes like sugar! Here, let me show you.”  

Your small hands pinch the base of one of the blossoms, right at the trumpet, and with a gentle tug of the stamen, you unpeel the flower. 

“Look, there’s the nectar.” A tiny drop hangs on the stamen. “Taste it, Aki, taste it!” He humors you, kneeling to let you place it in his mouth. A light, sweet flavor spreads across his tongue, and he hums.

“Tastes good.” “I got a bunch of them so that Taiyo can try.” He nods, smiling softly, although his stomach curls a little whenever you say his name. It’s stupid, he knows: he shouldn’t be jealous of his sister’s love for his brother. You love both of your brothers, and you love them the same.

Aki doesn’t want to be the same as Taiyo, though. Not in your eyes. He’s not sure what he wants, but it’s not that. 

His throat stings with a bitterness none of your nectar could help with. 

___

“Aki…” you breathe softly, your hands fluttering over his shoulders. “G’morning…” 

“Morning.” He breathes it into your neck, along with a soft kiss. “Slept well?” You nod, smiling gently. You always have that look about you — dazed and happy. You don’t seem to feel much else lately. 

“I dreamt about the meadow…when w-we were little.” “Did you?” He wraps his arms around your waist.

You nod again, melting into his embrace.  

“...dreamt that you and I were picking honeysuckle.”

He chuckles. You and your flowers. 

“Can’t remember w-what it tastes like, though…”

“You can’t? I can.” He remembers, clear as day. Holding your hand in the early summer, the two of you running through the field by your old house. You’d stop and wait for Taiyo, which would make him pout, and then the three of you would skip at your pace to the river. Taiyo would search for shiny rocks and you would pick honeysuckle while Aki read under the shady tree…

“Aki?”

You look up at him with big, wide eyes, innocent and pure.

“A-Am I gonna leave the house today?”

He tucks a lock of hair behind your ear.

“Don’t think so.” Your face doesn’t even fall anymore. “It’s safer for you to stay inside. Especially with my job…” You don’t even know what his job is. You wouldn’t understand if he told you, so you don’t ask. 

“Okay, Aki…” Nothing is sweeter than your blind trust.

___

You hear from a woman in town that honeysuckle tea has healing properties, and immediately set about making it for your brother.

Taiyo has been sick for over two years now. Aki wants to call you stupid: if the doctors can’t help him, there’s no way that your silly tea will. But he holds his tongue because knows you’ll cry if he tells you the truth.

You crush the flowers in the kitchen, humming quietly to yourself. For only being nine, you have an endearing determination that draws Taiyo to you, and he sits beside you, watching intently.

“What are you doing?” “Making you tea. It’ll help you.”

“Really?” He smiles softly. “Thank you.” Once you’ve put the flowers into water, you let it sit for a long time in the fridge. Your parents leave to take Taiyo to his weekly doctor’s appointment, so you and Aki are left alone, something that happens all too often. You sit next to him on the couch, eventually falling asleep on his chest. 

He smiles, stroking your hair softly. Such a small child, so soft and innocent. You are nothing if not blind — blind with hope, with joy, with love. Aki won’t break your heart by telling you that your brother won’t live past Christmas. 

Honeysuckle tea won’t mend the wounds in your hearts after you lose him, and he knows that. 

___

The door swings open, and you immediately stand, putting your little fidget toy down and running over to him. 

“Aki!” He brushes past you, his face set in a hard line. There’s a splatter of blood across his jawline, one that your eyes widen at. You rise up on the balls of your feet, trying to wipe it away.

“You okay, Aki?”

“Stop,” he says softly, pushing you aside again. 

“But you’re bleeding.” “No, I’m not.” “Aki, are you sure—” “Just shut the fuck up!” He shouts, shoving you away from him.

You stumble back, losing your footing and falling onto the floor in front of him. 

“You’re such a stupid, stupid girl, fuck! Can you ever just leave me the fuck alone?!” A soft whimper comes from your lips, and he stops when he sees your wide-eyed gaze, watching him with those adorable eyes.

You’re not even crying. You don’t even look afraid. Just…confused. 

“W-What did I…?” You ask after a little bit. “How…did I get on the floor?”

He lets out a long sigh, his eyes and throat stinging with guilt. “You tripped.” He reaches out a hand to help you up. “You feel okay?” “Mhm.” You nod, nuzzling into his shoulder. “M’fine, Aki.” “I know you are.” His hand trembles as it brushes over your hair. “I love you, sweet girl.” “Love you too…”

Later that evening, you lay on the bed, your hands gripping the sheets tightly. Soft whimpers leave your lips, your eyes big and glassy as they watch the ceiling. 

“Aki…” He licks at the sensitive place between your legs, and you feel soft thrums of pleasure coming from your tightening stomach. With one particularly rough kiss, your mouth falls open and your eyes tear up.

“O-Oh…”

“Look at me, sweet girl.” You try, but you can’t adjust your gaze. It’s like you’re sinking into the bed, into your own body, down and away and disconnecting from everything physical. 

“Hey.” You feel a slap against your thigh, but you don’t even react. “Hey! I said look at me.” “M…m’trying…” your head falls to the side. “I…” You drift off again, feeling yourself start to sink even deeper. There’s nothing for you to worry about though: it’s safe and warm and quiet, nothing but you and your brother and the pleasure he brings your body as he tastes your nectar. 

___

“This is where I live, said the city mouse. And oh, what a big house it was! The city mouse’s family—” “Daddy, daddy! Can we play catch outside?” Your voice is soft, always so hesitant to speak to your parents. 

Zipped into your coat, wrapped in a scarf and mittens, bundled into a beanie, you smile up at your parents excitedly. Your oldest brother stands behind you, a glove in his hands and a scowl on his face.

“Taiyo doesn’t feel well,” your father replies. “Why don’t you two play together, instead?” “He never does,” Aki mumbles. “I don’t remember him ever feeling good.”

“You’re the older brother.” Your mother’s face is all hard lines and tired eyes. “Be good and play with your sister alone.” Aki sighs, his hand on your shoulder. He doesn’t care whether your parents play or not. He just wants to be with you. The only reason that he humored you and came to ask with you was so you wouldn’t cry. 

“I…I wanna play with them.” Taiyo’s voice is soft, looking at the two of you shyly. 

You nod excitedly, bouncing on the balls of your feet. Aki tries not to roll his eyes. He doesn’t want to share you with your brother. His parents, his toys, his life…you’re the only thing in this house that still belongs to him. 

He grits his teeth as he stomps through the snow. It’s blanketed everything outside in a layer of pure, glistening white. Aki’s walking ahead, too fast for Taiyo to keep up, so you bridge the gap by staying in the center. 

“Quit following us,” he says bitterly. 

Taiyo doesn’t say anything, still walking behind you, and you turn to look between the two of them.

“Aki—”

“Ugh, you’re so annoying! I said cut it out!” Without thinking, he launches a handful of snow at his little brother. It hits him in the chest, and the way you gasp and run over to make sure he didn’t hit him too hard makes Aki feel like he’s been hit himself. 

“We’re gonna go play. By. Ourselves.”

Before you can scold him for being horrible, a ball of snow comes flying back at Aki and hits him square in the face.

Without thinking, you burst out laughing, along with Taiyo, and the two of you nearly collapse.

“He got you!” You say, giggling. “Aki!” “Stupid! Both of you are so stupid!” He throws another handful, this time at you, and you scream with glee as you hop in place.

“That was mean!” You shout, still laughing. “I’ll get you back!” He lets out a grunt of protest as your snowball hits him in the side, but you gasp as Taiyo hits you with one in turn.

“Traitor!” You get Aki in the face again, much to your delight, and he eventually gets frustrated and just pushes a handful into your face. You sniffle, brushing it off, and Taiyo pants heavily beside you, his pale hands quivering a little. 

“Hey. If you catch a cold, we’ll get in trouble,” Aki says eventually. 

“Maybe we should play catch instead…” you say softly. “His hands won’t be cold then!” The way your brother’s eyes light up is unlike anything you’ve ever seen since the day he came home from the hospital. It makes your stomach warm and floaty, and you giggle at what Aki says next.

“Go grab a glove from inside. We’ll wait right here, okay?”

“Okay…okay! Don’t go, okay?” “We’ll wait!” You say, calling after your brother. “Should I go with him? Does he know where the gloves are—

The loudest roar you’ve ever heard stops you as a violent, powerful wind blows you over. Aki instinctually grabs for you to keep you from being tossed up into the chaos, but it’s over as quickly as it started — just without your home anymore. 

You don’t register that you’re screaming until your voice stops working.

___

You chop carrots in the kitchen to go atop the salad that you’ll have with dinner tonight. Aki bought garlic bread and you’ve put the pasta on to boil already. You’re glad he trusted you to make dinner, although you’re not sure why he wouldn’t.

Aki can be so distant sometimes. You can’t help but feel like he’s been drifting away from you, like you can’t focus on each other, like he’s been…fuzzy. 

Or maybe it’s just your vision. You’re not sure which, although you know for certain that your dreams have been getting quieter. Softer. Less…just less. The same can be said for life, sometimes—the few and far between days that your brother tells you it’s safe to go outside, the colors seem a little more muted, the voices a little quieter around you. 

It’s too much to think about. You push it out of your mind, starting to feel that pleasant, dull buzzing behind your eyes as your hand comes down over and over, chopping and chopping.

Aki leans back into his chair, slouching on the balcony. A cigarette hangs from his lips as he listens to the sounds of the city, the sun setting beneath the skyline. It’s beautiful, really.

Despite all his stress, he’s glad to have this home. To have you. To have a life together. Despite what the costs may be.

“Aki…” He turns to see you standing in the doorway, smiling softly, raising a hand with three fingers missing. “Dinner’s ready.” 

He freezes with horror at the way the three stubs gush with blood, the flow almost rhythmic and red rivulets pouring down your slim forearm. 

“Fuck!” Aki runs up to you, and you seem confused. He wants to swear again, now is not the time for your zoning out, for you to distance yourself. 

“What happened?” He sits you on the toilet, the seat down and your head leaning against the wall. You whine a little as he presses a towel to staunch the blood flow, but still don’t seem to understand — gazing up at him with a sweet, dopey look in your eyes.

You cut off your own fingers, and you aren’t even scared.

Tears start to pour from his eyes before he can stop himself, and your face falls a little.

“Aki…what’s…wrong?” “I’m so sorry.” He weeps into your hair, his hands shaking. “I’m so, so sorry…” “For what?” You tilt your head, smiling softly. 

“For everything…everything I’ve done.”

___

The first time Aki takes you, the guilt almost stops him.

You tremble when he brushes his hands against your stomach, whimpering a little.

“Tickles, Aki.” “I know. Stay still, okay?” The tiny apartment is nothing special. You’ve been holed up here for two months, courtesy of the government. Two months since you lost everything. 

You cry pretty much every day. It’s practically all that you do.

“Why…why are y-you touching me?” You ask softly. “What are you doing?” “Just…just want to make you feel good. You’ve been so sad lately.” Your lip quivers, and he scoffs. Of course he said the wrong thing, and now you’ll start crying again.

“Come here. Let me kiss you, okay? You’ll feel better.” It’s an idea that makes you hesitate, but you don’t pull away when he leans in, pressing his lips to your softer ones. Your mouth tastes like the peach juice you drank with lunch, sweet like nectar. 

You gasp after he pulls away, looking up at him with those same, big eyes. He kisses your forehead, tucking a lock of hair behind your ear.

“See?” You nod ever-so-slightly. 

“S’better…but I…I-I’m still…” You start to sniffle again. “M’sorry, I—” “Don’t apologize. Let me still…let me make it better.” His lips attach to your neck, pressing soft but hungry kisses down the side of your neck. His mouth kisses your chest, the parts not covered by your tank top, and travels down to your bare stomach before he looks up at you, his face just above your hips.

Long, lithe fingers hook into your sleep shorts, and you whine as he pulls them down. You poor thing, you’re shaking. He knows how scary this must be, how overwhelmed your brain is, still so raw after all of what you’ve just lost. 

He’s lost nothing. He has all he needs, right here.

One finger dips inside of you, and you let out a long, shaky whimper. 

“Hurts, Aki—” “I know. Just relax.” You have a hard time “relaxing”, your hips bucking and legs twitching as a single digit inside of you fries your brain. He strokes the bony part of your hip, trying to help calm you.

“Just watch me, okay? Just…keep your eyes on me.” You nod, your teeth clamped down on your lip. A poor, sweet little flower ripped from its stem.

The white-hot cry you let out the first time he sinks into you is almost enough to make him stop.

“Aki! S’too m-much…” “I know. Just breathe. Look at me and breathe.” He finishes quickly, too young for true stamina. After he’s done, his sweaty forehead plastered to yours, he pulls away and out as gently as he can.

You collapse back onto the pillows, your small hands going up to cover the flower between your legs, red and irritated and dripping with fluids you don’t understand. Like bruised rose petals that drip with nectar, nectar mixed with the blood of your innocence. 

___

For the first time in three months, Aki allows you to go outside. 

“It’ll be good for you, I think.” He hopes it’ll be good for you. He’s losing you too quickly — whatever is eating away at your brain has been accelerating, and he hopes it’s not too late to try and bring you back, bring his sister back. 

You walk to the nearest bus stop, dressed in a sundress he chose since you say they all look the same. On the bus, his fingers rest on your leg reassuringly, and your eyes flutter closed, head leaning against the window. Your mutilated hand dances over your other knee, your good finger stroking the soft floral fabric beneath it. 

“M’sleepy, Aki.” “I know…just thought it would be fun.”

You smile softly and nod. 

“Thank…thank y-you.” A gentle squeeze of your thigh makes you hum.

You reach the stop rather quickly. Dazed and distant, you follow behind your brother, your hand snug in his as he leads you down the trail. This is the last stop on the bus route — the end of the line, as they say. 

He’s not sure what he’ll do if this can’t bring you back.

The gardens are beautiful at this time of day — half an hour past ten, a warm breeze ruffling your hair and the soft gurgling of the creek that runs through the area. Birds are singing nearby, flowers are in bloom, and it’s mostly empty save for the small children who frolic in the grass and the old couples feeding ducks by the water. 

At the end of the field lies a stone retaining wall, about three feet high. At the top, there are thick tresses of ivy, along with the clusters of the flowers you taught him to identify.

“Ah, here we are.” He sits you down on the wall, smiling gently. You watch him, that same soft look on your face, although confused now as you see him pick some of the blooms.

“What’re you doing, Aki?” “They’re honeysuckle.” “Honey…suckle?” You hum. “That’s a pretty name.” 

“Don’t you remember?” He kneels in front of you, one of the flowers in his hand. “You taught me how to eat them. Can you show me again?” You frown a little, but then giggle, shaking your head.

“Eat them? I don’t…remember. I-I’m sorry.” 

His jaw clenches, and he shakes his head.

“No, no…you have to remember. For me. How do we...how do we get the nectar out?” You shrug, still smiling. 

“Dunno, Aki. Don’t think I’ve ever heard of honeysuckles before.”