#(often with the implication being that he's better than the other captains in later star trek) | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

blossom-hwa · 4 years ago

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pirate!ateez |1|

So uh. this is what we get from the kingdom wonderland performance, watching too many wonderland stages as a result, and yelling to mai + javi?????? here we go I guess??? This is only half the members - the other half will be in a separate post later this week!

(credits to mai @wingkkun for the ideas that sparked san, mingi, and yeosang’s stories!)

Pairing: Ateez x gender neutral!reader

Word count: 8.7k (total)

Genre: some fluff, mostly angst, pirate!au

Triggers: cursing, blood, death (sometimes semi-graphic), like one implication of sex, implied physical abuse in one part - specific triggers for each section are listed below the headers!

Part 1 (Hongjoong, Seonghwa, Yunho, Yeosang) | Part 2 (San, Mingi, Wooyoung, Jongho)

Ateez Masterlist

hongjoong (captain)

warnings: cursing, death, some suggestive themes but absolutely nothing explicit (just implied sex)

oh good lord here we go

hongjoong is the captain of this ship. perfect captain, really - he’s got a knack for discipline while also taking care of his crew

he really does care for them, like after all he’s been through they’re basically his family at this point. he’s got nothing but them, this ship, and whatever they’ve managed to pillage from other crews - if he lost a single member, hongjoong isn’t sure if he could handle it

actually that’s a lie. he knows he could handle it. but it’s already happened several times, and the pain he feels but has to hide sometimes makes him want to just throw himself into the waves

(especially with a certain person, but i won’t elaborate on that just yet)

anyway his crew respects him even if they don’t always act it (looking at you wooyoung), they like to fool around and hongjoong will lovingly deal with it

however when they’ve really messed up....

let’s just say no one ever likes being called to hongjoong’s quarters

most often it’s one of woosan or both for fooling around a little too often but everyone��s been there at least once

even seonghwa like???? what did seonghwa ever do

(he’s never elaborated. neither has hongjoong. that somehow just makes everyone even more afraid ksjdngsdh)

but sometimes! the turn tables!! and people will call hongjoong to their rooms

i say people like it’s more than one person

i mean it technically is?? seonghwa and you??? but people feels like it implies many persons when in reality it’s just you and seonghwa and seonghwa comes in much later than you do

the first time it happens is when hongjoong almost fucking passes out on deck because 1. the sun is out and it’s hot as balls and 2. he’s been up for over twenty four hours straight after a battle trying to make sure everything is in order

which no one realizes - i mean even if your captain is motherfucking kim hongjoong you’d assume this dude at least took like an hour nap during that 24 hr+ period of time but NO this motherfucker is stupid when it comes to himself - until you’re heading belowdecks with him and hongjoong takes ONE FUCKING STEP down the stairs and almost keels over right then and there

you drag him to his room and even half collapsed he’s trying to say he needs to do something or the other but you just stand over him with your arms crossed n shit and hongjoong’s like okay never mind yes i will sleep

(he sleeps for fifteen hours straight)

anyway after that you went up on deck and called that motherfucker to your room in the same tone of voice he uses to call the others to his room and gave him the beatdown of his fucking life

maybe hongjoong’s a masochist because that’s when he realized he was head over heels in love with you

like?? in the middle of you yelling at him to take care of himself because kim fucking hongjoong what do you think is gonna happen if you die??? huh???? you think woosan can handle themselves????? you think I can deal with them?????? and good fucking lord if you’re going to die at least let it be of something badass you dumb piece of shit not like FALLING DOWN THE STAIRS BECAUSE YOU WERE TOO TIRED TO SEE WHERE YOUR FOOT WAS GOING -

and halfway through hongjoong isn’t even listening to you he’s just trying to figure out how it took so long for him to realize this

you’ve been together like... forever. literally almost as long as hongjoong can remember

you two got your first ship together, recruited the others together, decided to find the treasure you’ve now been seeking for YEARS together, literally everything started with you so why is it only now that hongjoong is realizing just how much he’s in love with you

he kinda blurts it out a couple of months later when you’re aggressively forcing him down to the medbay because he wanted everyone else to get treated first before the ship’s doctor looked at his wounds and you just say ‘confessing your love isn’t going to get you out of a doctor’s visit now i don’t care if you hurt your leg i’ll carry you if i have to so mOVE YOUR ASS’

he falls even more in love with you after that

and you don’t leave him hanging - you’ve been in love with hongjoong for as long as he’s been in love with you, it just... didn’t really manifest in a visible way?? like you’ve always been aggressively caring with him. it got a lot more aggressive when you realized your feelings but hongjoong just thought that was like. a normal thing

lmao you thought

but yeah so everyone’s like WE BEEN KNEW when you start spending more and more time in hongjoong’s room instead of the quarters you share with the other crew members

they don’t even care they’re just like HELL YEAH MORE SPACE

also they (read: woosan) love teasing the two of you but then you just hit them over their heads and ask if they’d like to be called to your room

they shut up immediately and you just go back to hongjoong’s room

(he kisses softly, by the way, but with so much passion it feels like one of the storms that mother nature uses to buffet your ship around. when hongjoong kisses you like this it feels like everything in you is breaking apart and reforming all at once, like he’s taking your life and breathing it back into you at the same time, and if your hands begin to move and someone gets pushed onto the bed who’s gonna say shit?)

but a pirate’s life is a pirate’s life and everyone is literally risking their neck to sail the seas the way they do - no one is safe, ever. not during battles, not even when you’re standing around on the ship’s deck

and certainly not when mother nature decides to wreak havoc on the water that you and hongjoong have begun to think of as home.

they’ve seen the storm coming all day, literally everyone is prepped and serious and no one’s fooling around because yeosang has been watching the clouds for hours and there’s no sign of the storm passing them by

so when the wind and water begin to toss the ship around, they’re ready. everyone’s ready. everything seems to be going smoothly until a couple of hours pass and the storm is only growing worse

hongjoong can’t see in the darkness, not with clouds covering the stars and the moon, not with water pounding over the deck in waves higher than yunho and mingi combined, he’s soaked and shivering but still yelling orders to anyone who can hear them and he’s just praying they’ll make it through the night, make it through the few hours left until morning

the few people on deck are mostly tied to stable things with rope so that no one goes overboard

but what no one expects is for a section of rope to snap, taking san with it

people start screaming and grabbing for him and yunho literally lunges for san but the wind doesn’t care, it slams him against the railing so hard hongjoong feels his own teeth chatter in his jaw with the power behind that hit

a wave crashes over deck at the same moment and everyone thinks he’s lost.

until a literal banshee screech tears through the wind and waves and you grab san, dragging him away from the railing and back toward jongho, who seizes onto a limp san with strong arms

and you turn around but you turn around too easily, like there isn’t a rope tying you to the mast -

because there isn’t. it snapped when you ran forward to get san

you come to this realization at the same time hongjoong does and he sees the panic in your eyes just as he reaches out to you - now there’s nothing tying you down, nothing to keep you from being swept away by the next wave, nothing but his fingertips just touching yours -

but it’s too late. water crashes over hongjoong and salt stings his eyes and when he opens them, there’s one less shadow on the deck than there should be

and there is no sound of screaming from the water below.

for days afterwards the only thing hongjoong can see is the look of terror in your eyes just before the wave stole his sight and your outstretched hand away

and all he can think is how he should’ve been stronger. faster. braver. literally anything

you two always joked that he’d be the first to go because he never took care of himself but death caught you first

and it isn’t fair

it isn’t like hongjoong hasn’t lost crew members before - he has. but the loss of someone so close, someone who’s been with him for over a decade, someone who knows him better than he knows himself almost breaks him. there isn’t even a body left to burn or bury. you’ve been lost to the water that hongjoong thought of as home

it still is his home. the movement of water comforts him far more than solid land ever did, but there’s a new fear, a new respect for mother nature whenever he stares at the shining blue waves that killed you

eventually he recovers with the help of his crew, and they go on to look for the treasure. there are adventures along the way and throughout each of them, hongjoong thinks of what it would be like if you were there, fighting by his side

and then they find the treasure, after years of pillaging and exploring. they find the treasure and when hongjoong approaches the center of the island, the only thoughts running through his mind are of you, what you would do if you were here, what you would say, how you’d look at him with pride and that little smirk he loved to kiss off your face

he attempts to open the treasure trove and an apparition appears, the apparition that guards it. hongjoong’s ready for the wisp of smoke

until it turns into you.

but it isn’t you. bitterness twists your familiar eyes and a deep, betrayed frown downturns your lips and hongjoong is paralyzed - it’s you but at the same time it isn’t -

then you open your mouth

and with the same voice that used to remind him to take care of himself, the same voice that used to remind him you loved him

you ask why he wasn’t faster. why he wasn’t stronger. why he didn’t manage to pull you out of the wave and save you, why he failed when it came to you

it hits him like arrows to the chest because these are all thoughts hongjoong himself has had. they plagued him for days, months, years even after your death, and even now, they still do - but his crew has managed to help him keep those thoughts at bay recently, because deep down, they know and he knows that you would never think that way

yet here you are, expression bitter and angry, speaking those same thoughts seonghwa reassured him you would never say

he can’t open the trove that day. he comes back again. and again. and again and again and again but every time he breaks down at the sight of the loathing in your face and it isn’t until seonghwa and jongho literally drag him back to the ship and set sail again that he stops

but the apparition haunts him now, mixed with visions of you disappearing from his fingertips as the wave tosses you overboard

and this time, hongjoong doesn’t know if he’ll ever recover.

seonghwa (boatswain, later quartermaster)

warnings: cursing, death, blood, implied physical abuse (nothing explicitly described)

so seonghwa didn’t live on the streets from the start like hongjoong or san, he actually came from nobility

look at his face and tell me it isn’t noble. yeah you can’t that’s what i fucking thought

anyway yeah, he was born into a noble family and pretty much lived that way until like his late teens or something when pirates ransacked his town, killed his family, and took him hostage

but we’re not going to unpack all of that yet so let’s go back in time to when seonghwa was still a member of nobility

his family was famous for being kind. like a lot of other nobles in other towns were snobby assholes who didn’t give two shits about the common people

and maybe it’s just because seonghwa’s family was nobility in a smaller town and as such knew a lot of commoners/peasants more closely plus the fact that they were never really rich rich, their title just comes from some wealthy ancestor and they’ve managed to keep it throughout the years

but yeah, seonghwa’s family isn’t universally hated among the peasantry because they’re actually decent fucking people and they protect those under them

so seonghwa learns from a young age to be kind and pleasant and as he grows older, he learns how to run the estate, how to play politics with the kingdom and the town, all that good stuff

and with all of that comes marriage, too

it might’ve been a problem if there was no one around that he liked but luckily you’ve been a fixture in seonghwa’s life since he was very young

your family is also nobility in a nearby small town and it’s actually perfect - you’re the younger sibling, so you don’t inherit the estate, but you do have a sharp mind and qualities that a family would be looking for when they try to find someone to marry their son off to

what makes everything even better is that since you’ve been around for a long time, seonghwa is head over heels in love with you and you’re head over heels in love with him

classic childhood friends to lovers

when you visited seonghwa’s town, he’d take you to the marketplace to meet people and you’d do the same for him

at balls, you would dance with each other as much was deemed appropriate by high society

someone’s kid got lost one time and seonghwa had carried her around with you, singing softly as you asked around for the kid’s parents until they were found

needless to say at this point your villages know the two of you very well and it isn’t just your parents rooting for this marriage lmao

so you get engaged and all and you aren’t going to marry until a few years later, you’re too young at the moment and both of you would prefer a little more freedom before you have to settle down

but at the engagement ceremony you exchanged rings and you two haven’t taken them off since, so it serves as a reminder of your bond

not like you need a reminder anyway - seonghwa is a dream come true, and there’s no way you would ever voluntarily leave him. ever.

except nothing ever goes to plan especially in my universes so pirates attack just a year before you two are supposed to be married

you’re in seonghwa’s town visiting his family when the attack happens and both of you have just witnessed both of his parents being cut down before your eyes and you’re pulling seonghwa out of the estate, hoping to escape in the flood of screaming and fleeing people

but someone knocks you down as seonghwa yells your name

his hand loosens from yours and you try to grab at him but he just gets further and further away

you scream for him but someone else is already dragging him in the opposite direction and that’s the last you see of him

somehow you escape and manage to get back to your own village but seonghwa’s entire family is dead

there’s no reason to believe he survived either

and from that day on you grow a hatred of pirates so strong that you leave your family to join the navy just so you can take your revenge on those who took seonghwa and his family away from you

most of the navy recruits are children of former or current members, you’re the odd one out with your noble manners and method of speech

but you adapt quickly and desire for revenge fuels your motivation to keep moving, to keep getting better no matter how many times people knock you down

it’s for seonghwa and his family. always for them.

you finish training with high honors and when you’re assigned to a fleet, you actually make a bit of a name for yourself - pirates don’t know who you are, exactly, but they’ve given you a nickname based on your appearance and it gets passed around in hushed whispers whenever it’s rumored that a navy fleet is coming to port

anyway that’s you. let’s move on to seonghwa

seonghwa isn’t dead (obviously), he was taken hostage because he’s young and strong and the pirates who took him thought he’d be a decent cabin boy or something, or maybe even a sailor

so seonghwa ends up working on that ship

the pirates really do not treat him well, the only moments of respite he gets are in sleep or when they dock sometimes

there are nights where seonghwa just wishes a huge storm would crack the ship in half and leave them all to drown, he has nothing to live for anymore - his parents are dead and he doesn’t even want to think about what might’ve happened to you

but spite fuels him and keeps him alive

seonghwa isn’t all that much of a goody two shoes after all - he knows how to use a sword and learns quickly. he also acts well and adapts

which is why eventually, he gains enough tentative trust from the crew that he won’t run away, so he’s allowed to explore the towns a little before the ship makes their attack wherever they are

but little do they know seonghwa is patient, observant, and has always been looking for the right time to slip away

so when the pirates do attack, seonghwa runs off and hides in the next town, where he meets hongjoong + his partner who have just gotten themselves a ship

so seonghwa joins the tiny crew of hongjoong’s pirate ship

he has reservations at first about the whole pirate thing, given who offed his entire family (and you - he thinks you’re dead and who can blame him?), but seonghwa quickly learns hongjoong isn’t a mindless pillager or killer. he protects his crew and he has a purpose that he’s driven to fulfill - find the treasure and have a few adventures on the way. that’s all

he’s the first of the crew to join hongjoong besides his partner, and the three of them grow very close as the years pass

seonghwa starts out as the ship’s boatswain, keeping track of supplies and the ship’s general maintenance - he’s good at that, seeing as he has a sharp eye for detail and things that seem off, so he knows when people have been sneaking food (read: wooyoung)

hongjoong may be the captain, but the crew likes to joke that seonghwa is the one who actually keeps the ship running

he’s always there to listen to the newer members’ fears, their stories, or just to sit with them in comforting silence so they know they’re not alone

because if there’s anything seonghwa knows, it’s the horrible feeling of being completely alone, cut off from all those who once loved him

when hongjoong’s partner dies, seonghwa takes on the role of caring aggressively for hongjoong (aka asking the captain to come to his room)

albeit it’s in different ways because no one could ever replace the captain’s quartermaster. even if seonghwa technically holds the title now, it’s really in name only. yeah seonghwa fulfills the same duties, but everyone agrees - even him - that a void was left when hongjoong’s partner died, a void that’s closed up a little but will never fully leave

so time passes like this, seonghwa as a pirate, you in the navy, both completely unaware that the other is fully alive

until your crew receives word that a small pirate ship is going to be docking in a nearby port and you rush to meet it there

the fight is bloody and dirty, neither side playing fair

but you keep fighting, not stopping until you corner a pirate in an empty alley of the town

both of you have your swords out and there’s so much blood and grime on your faces that you can barely see

but there’s something familiar in the pirate’s expression. something in his eyes

something that makes you pause.

and then the bloody afternoon sunlight catches on something metal on his finger

a ring. a very familiar ring

identical, actually, to the one still on your hand.

seonghwa reaches the conclusion at the same time you do and for a moment it’s kind of funny like that spiderman meme

you two are just staring wide-eyed at each other while individual battles rage around you

seonghwa’s reeling - yes, the nickname that his crew had tossed around did get at some of your features, but never once in his entire life did he think that the navy fighter everyone feared so much would be you

somehow, even with all the dirt and blood caking your skin, you look as beautiful as ever

but the shattered look in your eyes is nothing he’s ever seen before.

meanwhile you’ve just gone slack with betrayal, betrayal at the knowledge that pirates killed seonghwa’s entire family yet he ended up on a pirate ship anyway, fighting battles for the fucking ship

he looks the same - a little older, a little more mature, his lips are still full and his eyes still beautiful with that same nose you loved to kiss so many years ago

but god, every cell in your body aches to scream, to rip him apart for this betrayal he made to everything you two stood for

(deep down you know there must be a reason for this - seonghwa doesn’t make decisions lightly, if he joined a pirate ship and is fighting for them, there has to be some reason why)

(but in the moment you can only feel the fury and betrayal that your former fiancé and the love of your life, the same person who was kidnapped by pirates and whose family was killed by pirates, has joined a crew)

except you can’t kill him. you know you can’t

and neither can he. you’re standing in front of him, his literal enemy - he’s trained over the years to become ruthless to those who aren’t members of his crew, to show no mercy

but at the sight of your eyes and the ring still on your finger, all of that training just shatters

you barely even exchange words. all you do is look at each other and then at the rings still on your hands, a promise unwillingly broken

it crosses your mind to take it off and throw it in the dust, show just how much that ring means to you when seonghwa’s betrayed you so badly

but just like you can’t kill him, you can’t take off the ring, even if it feels like it’s choking the circulation out of your finger

because even after all this time, you still love him. you still love seonghwa as much as he loves you

seonghwa just watches you level your sword at him, the blade positioning itself over his throat

he can’t kill you. he won’t. he knows that and he’s willing to accept his death at your hands

but you don’t do it. you just say, in a voice that’s broken beyond repair

if i see your face ever again, i swear on every god that exists that i will kill you

and you storm out of the alley, leaving a shaking seonghwa behind

(he doesn’t see it, but you can barely hold your sword steady either)

the fight ends a few hours later, seonghwa helps carry the injured back to the ship and set sail

it isn’t until hongjoong pulls him aside and tells him to wash up that he realizes just how tired he is

but even then, he can’t sleep. he ends up on deck, sitting against the rails, looking up at the night sky full of cold, twinkling stars as the ship bobs in the waves

hongjoong’s steering and asks him what’s wrong

seonghwa doesn’t say anything. it isn’t because hongjoong would throw him overboard for knowing a member of the navy, seonghwa’s proven himself loyal many times over and hongjoong knows that

but because even though hongjoong knows about his past and even about you, seonghwa doesn’t know what to say

he doesn’t know how to verbalize the vision of you, bloody and dirty, carrying a sword and wearing the ring he put on your hand so many years ago

he doesn’t know how to explain the achingly vivid picture of you painted in his mind, clearly older and more mature, having grown into your features over the years and still as gorgeous as ever

but worst of all, he doesn’t know how to describe the absolutely shattered look in your eyes, broken shards of glass fragmenting your expression as you took in his face, his body, the clothes and look of a pirate

seonghwa knows he couldn’t give up this life now, not after all that hongjoong has done and sacrificed for him, maybe he’d have tried to explain that to you if time had allowed it. he might even have asked you to come with him

but something tells him you wouldn’t have cared because in your eyes, he betrayed you, betrayed his family and yours

and it hurts. it hurts knowing he pained you this badly because after all this time, seonghwa still loves you

it’s why he never took off the ring, after all.

right now he honestly doesn’t know which is worse - thinking you’re dead and that he’ll never see you again, or knowing you’re alive but that you hate him and will kill him on sight the next time you meet

moonlight glitters mockingly on the ring on his finger, once a reminder of you and a promise of love

now a reminder of that same promise broken, and a new promise made - one that secures his death, should he ever come face to face with his love again.

yunho (able-bodied sailor (ABS), later boatswain)

warnings: cursing

ah yes yunho. resident teddy bear who the new recruits think is just very soft - like why is he even on a pirate ship?

then the first battle comes around and they see yunho tearing around like a demon

and suddenly it all makes sense

anyway yunho really is a teddy bear most of the time - along with seonghwa, he’s the one that new recruits go to the most when they don’t know what’s happening because he’s kind and willing to explain if he’s got a bit of time

however if you come for anyone this man cares about, you’re fucked with around ten capital Fs

yunho knows how to handle the sword at his belt, plus several other types of weapons as well

honestly probably only san and hongjoong are more skilled at fighting than yunho is

but moving on! yunho started out as one of the able-bodied sailors (that’s what they’re called on the site i’m using), essentially semi-skilled but not really specialized in specific roles of the ship

however when hongjoong’s partner was swept away in the storm, seonghwa became quartermaster and chose yunho to take over his previous boatswain duties

because yunho’s responsible and he knows what he’s doing, he also followed seonghwa around a lot when he was a bit younger so he’s learned more or less what a boatswain does - plus, he’s a quick learner, so anything he doesn’t know already seonghwa can teach him quickly

and because yunho’s now boatswain and is in charge of supplies on the ship, he spends a lot of time in the towns at every port where they legally dock because supplies!

which is how he meets you

you’re a commoner just trying to run your little grocery store, and times have been tough until yunho passes by your place and buys some fruit

throughout his brief stay in the town he comes by again and again and gives you enough business on his own to kickstart your life again

(but like let’s also not forget that a bunch of kids - boys and girls alike - start crowding in to see what this hot older dude is doing at this little grocery store)

so you’re eternally grateful to one jung yunho for helping you get back on your feet even if it was unintentional

and the next time the ship has docked in this port, you make sure to thank him effusively for it

because it isn’t just you that you’re trying to support - you have family too and you were never exactly the wealthiest, so the added business really means a lot to you regardless of whether yunho intended to have such an effect or not

yunho just blushes and says he’s happy to have helped, then tries to wave away the small bundle of groceries you give him for free

you think you’ve succeeded but yunho is Smooth and drops a small sack of coins into your front pocket just before he disappears into the market crowd

which is the start of your crush on the handsome guy named jung yunho who smiles like a teddy bear and has the sparkling eyes to match

meanwhile yunho has had a fucking crush on you since he passed by the grocery that first time

which is why he came back a second and a third time during that first visit

and why he keeps coming back, visit after visit until he’s staying in the store way past the time he should be returning to the ship and eventually kissing you in the moonlight just outside the store before he walks you home

you feel like you’re on cloud nine after that first kiss - yunho is everything you’ve ever wanted in a partner

your family loves him too, based on the encounters they’ve had the few times he was around when they were there

the only thing that worries you is the fact that he spends so much time... elsewhere

you’re well aware of the fact that he doesn’t live here, not even close by - you’ve seen the ships docked in port and yunho’s told you enough for you to understand that he travels for his living

but ateez is skilled at camouflaging themselves as not pirates, but something more benign - traveling merchants, things like that

and with yunho coming to town every so often with the purpose of restocking the ship, it isn’t so hard to believe

but as time goes on you start to grow a little suspicious

you’ll never take traveling away from yunho, as much as you’d like to settle down with him you know that the sea is his first love just as he’s yours, and you would never force him to choose

you can satisfy yourself just knowing he’ll come back to visit, no matter what

but sometimes you prod a little more and it’s uneasy the way yunho just clams up

because normally he’s happy to talk about anything and everything

but out of wishful thinking + the desire to pretend nothing is wrong, you just ignore it

until one night you’re out on a walk and you hear a familiar voice discussing routes and paths with a different, unfamiliar voice

but the first one you know

because it’s yunho

they’re talking about treasure and ships and how much gold they have and what they need

pirates

you try to reason it all away, try to spin their words in a way that makes them out to merely be the traveling merchants you always assumed they were

but then you realize - yunho never said that to you. it was always just your assumption

he never lied, but he never told you the truth

and now you have to face it on your own - yunho is part of a crew of pirates and there’s no reasoning it away

especially when you see the blades strapped to their sides glinting in the moonlight

the night is long and yunho doesn’t come by the next day, so you have time to think

and by the time he does come around, you’ve made a decision

that day, stone cold and unwavering, you tell him you want nothing more to do with him. even as your heart cracks at the dawning horror and shame and pain on yunho’s face, you tell him that on no account can you be found dealing with pirates

if it were just you, you might risk a little more, consider keeping this relationship with yunho a little longer

but you don’t live in a place that’s known for its sympathy to pirates - it isn’t a royal navy haven, exactly, but it isn’t lawless either

and you have a family to protect, too. the grocery store is all you have and if someone found out you were having a dalliance with a pirate, that might be taken away from you

yunho is crushed, absolutely crushed when he hears you and sees you speaking this way

part of him wants to get angry because you’ve been together for this long - what changes just because you found out he’s a pirate?

but he understands, even though he doesn’t want to. he understands that you have a family you need to protect and that a relationship with a pirate will only jeopardize that

it’s what he would do, right, if his own family, his crew mates, were also in danger? if he had a relationship with someone who would put them in harm’s way, he’d cut it off just as you did

so that day, you both part ways. neither of you expects to see the other ever again

and for several years, it seems that way

your family stops asking about that nice traveling merchant who looked at you with the sweetest smile

and seonghwa helps yunho out of his stupor. he understands, after all - his own love swore to kill him if they ever met again

broken hearts eventually heal, cracks still visible but no longer gaping wide, and life goes on

until yunho bursts into your little store one day, eyes wide and face white

you almost don’t recognize him at first - besides the fact that it’s been several years, you’ve never seen him look this frazzled

but once you do recognize him it’s like all those years fall away and you’re in love with him again, reaching out to touch him and ask him what’s wrong, despite the words you spoke that last day

yunho grabs your hands in a vice grip when you reach out and in the most serious voice you’ve ever heard him use, he tells you to get out of here with everyone you love

because other pirates are coming to attack.

it takes you a second to register his words when he first says them because what - pirates? what would they ever want to do with your little village?

but the fear in yunho’s eyes makes it clear he’s telling the truth

so all you do is nod and squeeze his hands unconsciously, maybe, before picking up your things and running down the path back home

yunho doesn’t follow, not at first. he stays back a little to warn the other families he grew closer with during his visits to you, the kind people who welcomed him when he was here

some believe him, some don’t, and they all have the same look of fear in their eyes once they realize what yunho truly is

he doesn’t care, though - it doesn’t matter how much that fear hurts him, as long as they get out safe, that’s all that matters

yunho catches up to you just as you’re leaving the house. your family starts raising questions but you cut them off with a glare, and one of the older members of the family just herds everyone away to give you and yunho a last moment of space

except you don’t say anything. neither of you do

it’s half not knowing what to say after so many years apart

but it’s also half knowing exactly what the other is thinking, even after so many years apart

at some point yunho took your hands and now your touch just makes it painfully clear that even though he loved you, still loves you, none of this was ever meant to be

maybe in another lifetime, in a more perfect universe, but not this one

and the same thoughts are running through your head as you squeeze his fingers, rough and scarred from all his time on the sea

he pulls you close, presses a kiss on your forehead

you rest your head against his shoulder and whisper thank you as you squeeze him one last time

when you pull away, there’s apology in both your gazes - you for breaking things apart so painfully, yunho for having the profession he does

but there’s also acceptance and gratitude for years well spent in your love

(and of that love, much of it still remains)

you return to your family, who’s still waiting, leaving yunho behind

and one more time before you leave forever, you look back

he’s still there, watching you go

you let yourself smile again, once more

yunho lets himself smile too as he waves goodbye

it’s the goodbye you should have had the last time you parted, instead of the forced coldness and biting words you used to cut your relationship apart, and regret pinches deep in your chest

but you can only be grateful for the second chance to say farewell, so you wave too, exchanging one last smile before you disappear

neither of you sees the other ever again.

yeosang (sailing master)

warnings: cursing, death, semi-graphic depiction of blood, implied drowning

hehet

guys i love this dude he’s so fucking cute i want to pat his head all the time

not in a bias way he’s just v cute and i adore him

ok this is supposed to be a pirate au not me yelling about how beautiful one kang yeosang can be so let’s start

yeosang is sailing master of hongjoong’s ship, which means he’s in charge of navigation and following the maps and all

and he’s very good at his job! yeosang’s very smart and knows what he’s doing, also is very observant so if he sees something’s wrong in a map or something he will actually make notes and fix things so next time the crew is prepared

spends most of his time up in the crow’s nest because that’s the best vantage point from where he can see other ships and/or land

except sometimes he speaks a little too softly so he has to yell like five times for whoever’s steering to hear him

(wooyoung likes to joke that he should be the one up in the nest because he’s loud as fuck but then yeosang reminds him of that one time he tried to read a map but it was upside down and yeosang was the one who managed to put them back on course)

(wooyoung then shuts up)

yeosang was born in a relatively well-off family, not nobility or anything but they had some money which meant he was educated

and he ended up being pretty good at math n stuff and really like screwing around with the maps he’d find in his parents’ small library

except his parents died of a plague when he was little, and he got sent to live in an orphanage

he took the maps and books with him and that’s where he grew up until wooyoung came around

you know that video where yeosang says he was v innocent and didn’t know how the world worked and his parents were worried about him until he became friends with wooyoung? yeah that’s essentially what’s at play here

before they met yeosang was pretty much just in his own little world. didn’t interact much with the other orphans and the orphanage owners really did not give a shit so he just sat in his corner reading and rereading books n shit that he’d taken from his home

but when yeosang turned idk let’s say sixteen he met wooyoung on the streets

and for some reason??? wooyoung took a liking to yeosang despite the fact that yeosang would barely give him the time of the day

in fact yeosang liked wooyoung’s partner much more

(which made wooyoung a little jealous but we’ll talk more about that later)

(i’ll just say it wasn’t romantic but wooyoung can be a blind little shit sometimes so you see where this is going)

but eventually woosang + woo’s partner become good friends

woo + partner have avoided the orphanage their whole life, just making their own living on the streets

until one day they come to yeosang with news that there’s a pirate ship willing to take them on

and they want yeosang to come with them.

to yeosang it sounds like half a dream and half some ludicrous fantasy - first of all it’s a pirate ship, what can he even do there?

second of all IT’S A PIRATE SHIP, THEY’RE ALL GOING TO DIE

but because wooyoung is wooyoung and his partner is his partner they manage to convince yeosang to give up his half-life at the orphanage - he’s not doing anything there anyway, and at least now he might be able to travel and see the places he’s only marked on maps

and hongjoong is actually ecstatic to have yeosang on board because even though seonghwa can do some navigation, he was never the best at geography n stuff even when he was taking lessons as a noble so having someone who knows maps and details of different lands, even if he’s never seen them before, is a blessing

they all settle in on the ship together and for a while, life goes somewhat well for yeosang. the ship is small and they haven’t really built up a major reputation yet so a lot of the other pirate ships either ignore them or just literally don’t see them

which gives yeosang time to learn swordplay and other skills he needs as a pirate

and as time goes on, the crew grows larger, they gain recognition on the seas, and one night as he sits drinking on the deck with woosan + woo’s partner under the stars, he admits to himself that he feels happy

but then you come along

ateez has just won a battle against a smaller ship that you happen to be the sailing master of

except unlike sailing master yeosang, you fucking hate it there because everyone’s a bitch and willing to stab someone in the back in order to get in the captain’s good graces

and get this: the captain is still fucking alive after the battle and you just want to be anywhere but there

so in a fit of desperation you’re like LET ME ON YOUR FUCKING SHIP I HATE IT HERE MY CAPTAIN’S A BITCH I WISH HE’D DIED

which... impresses hongjoong

and it’s like?? it leaves the other ship without a sailing master so mayhaps they’re even more fucked than hongjoong intended

so you get welcomed onto the crew!

and of course it takes a few weeks/months to actually feel your welcome, ateez will give chances to newcomers but they have to prove themselves too

but you end up doing that when you almost beat mf jung yunho in a mock sword fight on your fifth try - which is basically unheard of in the crew since literally only san and hongjoong are better fighters than him

so everyone pretty much accepts you after that

except yeosang

it’s kind of stupid - he’s really just jealous that you’re also a sailing master, he’s afraid that he won’t be seen as useful anymore now that you’ve come along (and with better sword skills too)

and it doesn’t help that you get along so easily with woosan + the others, who are supposed to be yeosang’s friends

so this dumb fucking rivalry now exists between the two sailing masters of hongjoong’s ship, one jealous and the other just confused but going along with it

it gives seonghwa many headaches and hongjoong even more

but despite everything, no matter how much the other crew members try to talk you too out of it you both just point at each other and are like he/they are a bitch. you expect me to get along with a bitch ???

(jongho: i mean yeah you both get along with woosan so)

(woosan: ready to fight but not really because jongho has Strength)

so yeah you two are enemies in the loosest sense, like you try not to let the rivalry get in the way of actual pirate business but otherwise you’re either arguing or giving each other the cold shoulder

hongjoong wants to fucking cry because you two actually work very well together when the time calls for it, but you just refuse to deal with each other otherwise

until his partner dies in the storm.

the entire crew is in shock, the mood dampened for the next few months as hongjoong grieves

san is also blaming himself even though it isn’t his fault that his rope snapped, even less his fault that their rope snapped

and everyone is miserable

after a few days, you walk up to yeosang and are like. hey. we need to put whatever this is behind us, at least for now - hongjoong doesn’t need to deal with our bullshit on top of what he already has, and san needs as much support as he can get

yeosang agrees and a truce is formed

it’s awkward at first - you’re used to tossing around jabs like nobody’s business and you’ve kind of forgotten how to interact with each other without hurling insults

but after a few weeks you and yeosang are at least on normal speaking terms

no one says anything but you can see seonghwa’s eyes sparkling in relief whenever you two are seamlessly navigating the ship together, or when one hops into the crow’s nest to take over from the other without a word

and during that time, you and yeosang grow a little closer, whether you realize it or not

telling the other to go take a break, i’ll watch for a little while or this map looks a little off, wasn’t the mountain a little closer to the next kingdom?

one night, yeosang almost collapses of exhaustion, and you make him drink water before carrying him to bed

another night he finds you poring over maps at ass o’clock in the morning and forces you to sleep

small things like that help you grow closer over time, and eventually, you start going back to insulting each other - except it’s not really insulting, just teasing

you two will banter when working together or yell at each other to go the fuck to sleep you dimwit

and you’d like to think that it makes hongjoong feel a little better, too, when he eventually pulls himself out of his stupor and begins acting a little more like his old self again

san too - the cracked glass look in his eyes eventually fades, and he starts to smile again

life goes on - the search for the treasure never stops

and as the years go by you maybe start to see yeosang as more than a crew mate, then more than a friend

yeosang feels the same

but beyond small touches and banter and reminders to take care of yourselves, you never say anything because you two are COWARDS

which is something you will regret for the rest of your life.

one day you end up in a battle with a ship bigger than you’ve fought before

hongjoong had tried to steer you out of the way, but the ship just followed and eventually a fight was inevitable

it’s bloody and horrible, you and san are fighting back to back while wooyoung and yeosang are occupied somewhere closer to the crow’s nest

and you don’t even have time to think, it’s all just slash and stab and kill if you can

so at first, you don’t realize it when wooyoung goes down with a pained yell and yeosang is left alone

you cut down one pirate who’s been giving you trouble and spin to help wooyoung but then you catch sight of yeosang scrambling up the crow’s nest, out of reach of the pirate trying to cut his ankles

and your blood freezes. because though yeosang is a good fighter, if he’s trying to escape rather than fight...

something has gone very wrong.

you see it in his dangling leg and yeosang’s face contorted with pain as he hauls himself into the nest - his ankle is hurt, broken or twisted or something

but the other pirate doesn’t have such an injury. and just as yeosang falls into the nest, he begins to climb up

you ry to go over to help but another pirate blocks your way and you’re forced to forego helping yeosang because the stupid enemies just won't stop coming

you try to believe that he’ll be fine even as blood coats your vision, as you try to fight your own battle against a seemingly endless enemy

until there’s an earsplitting yell from above and you look up to see yeosang double over in pain

both you and san exchange a single glance before trying to push through the throng to climb up, even though the sinking feeling in your chest tells you it’ll be too late

the pirate fighting yeosang stabs him, eliciting another yell - you swear you feel yeosang’s blood spatter all the way down onto your head as you rush over

but you stop, eyes wide with horror when the pirate lifts up yeosang’s limp body, streaming blood

and throws him out of the nest.

later, wooyoung will tell you that your scream was what stopped the battle. he isn’t even joking, he’s deadly serious - people stopped fighting because you screamed so loud

you don’t even remember screaming. you only remember watching yeosang’s body sail through the air and racing to the ship’s edge, hand reaching out in a futile effort to catch him before he falls

for less than half a second, you meet yeosang’s eyes, blown wide with terror and pain

and then his body crashes beneath the ocean waves

someone holds you back from jumping over the railing. you kick and thrash but they don’t let go

your throat is raw from screaming yeosang’s name over and over and over because he can’t be dead, he can’t be - yeosang can swim, you know he can

but he had horrible injuries, and the pain mixed with seawater very well could have killed him before he even had the chance to drown

you keep screaming until your voice dies and your yells turns to sobs and you start begging, begging for him to come back

but his familiar blond head never resurfaces.

yeosang dies that day, dragged beneath the waves

taking a piece of your heart with him, too.

If you enjoyed, please don’t forget to reblog and leave a comment to tell me what you thought! Thank you for reading and have a lovely day <3

(1 reblog = 1 prayer for me I'm going to need like 10 years of rest after this much angst)

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watevermelon · 4 years ago

Text

Possessive | College!Ushijima Wakatoshi x Reader

✧ Summary: Libero to the women’s Fukurōdani volleyball club, you moved away from Miyagi and to Tokyo during your first-year. And while you cherished your high school years, you wondered how different it might have been if you stayed with your childhood friends at Shiratorizawa. After a failed confession in junior high, you were more than surprised to re-connect with the strong ace in college. ✧ Warnings: Implicating language and some out-dated head-cannons ✧ Tags: Fukurodani crew! Akaashi being an instigator from Kuroo’s influence probably, subtle Jealous moments, fluff, cleared-up misunderstandings, angst, and mutual pining at one point ((this is a long one)) -> A/N: If you are an oldie fan of HQ you might have seen this on Deviantart (we shared an acc there and now stuff is getting migrated 😛 )) -> Masterlist

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You were on the phone, lazily chatting away with your favorite Salami and catching-up with what you had missed since the last time he called. You went to Shiratorizawa Academy Junior High with the red-haired middle-blocker and many of the other current third-years. During the break of your first-year of high school, your dad got a new job in Tokyo and it was off to Fukurōdani Academy for you.

It was an amazing three-years that you would not change, from Bokuto’s inconsistent confidence – which did extend to girls! – to Akaashi’s eternal suffering. You were amongst the many who cried at graduation. It was not until you heard your own name called and you were approaching the stage to receive your diploma that it finally hit you that this would be your last walk on the field. No more all-nighters with Akaashi or getting in trouble with Bokuto – well, that’s actually entirely possible in the near future. But it was truly an end of an era and you would give anything to be able to watch memories of those three-years.

Bokuto was a proud dad of his team and put on a strong face. But you were soft at heart and immediately felt tears break your stern façade the moment you saw captain Akaashi. And for once, the usually stern setter smiled at you. It was a pure instance that would forever brand your heart.

There were too many ‘what if’s’ concerning your time at Shiratorizawa and if you had stayed there for high school instead. It was better to be focused on reality than what could have happened. You loved your time at Fukurōdani Academy and connected well with the various people you met.

You can, however, admit to mentally wandering off once or twice during class, pondering how your childhood friends were dealing without you. Did they miss you? How is everyone? You would get various glimpses here and there throughout the schoolyear from the various sports channels, seeing the familiar tufts of hair signifying the guess monster and his ace.

They came to you almost twice a year. Shiratorizawa was a powerhouse school, there was no doubt about it. And they never failed to appear at nationals that were held annually in Tokyo. They were a reliable team, much like your own, and you would meet-up for the customary trash-talk between the Miyagi-representatives and yourself from the Tokyo Prefecture. You could look forward to seeing them around those times of the year, it was that simple. They were reigning champions and kept the title strong.

You could still remember first seeing them at the fall national competition. It was your first Interhigh and the women’s team had advanced to the National Playoffs. You were nowhere near the starting lineup, but you still felt the pride of your school swell within you as one of their libero’s.

The men’s and women’s volleyball team were leisurely walking through a hall of the gymnasium, trying to emanate their most serious and daunting look possible. You walked alongside your new outgoing classmates, Kōtarō Bokuto and the male libero Haruki Komi. Both of them were rays of sunshine, but it seemed Komi was better at withholding his enthusiasm.

“Don’t look now, but there’s one of the rising aces everyone has been talking about at your ten o’clock.” Haruki whispered in your ear, lightly nudging your elbow.

You glanced to the side and the bright-red gravity defying hair was enough to signify who was before you. In the loudest inside voice you could muster, you basically yelled, “I figured swans would be more concerned with looking pretty than anything else.”

Immediately, Tendou whipped around to see who the fuck was talking shit.

Haruki was instantly regretting bringing the purple-clad giants to your attention. He grabbed your arm and quickly tugged you to hide behind your senpai’s, who could handle the diffusing the situation. Bokuto was simply smiling away, both curious and excited to see his prospective rivals. The older, calmer members of Fukurōdani Academy were quick and you felt some weight fall on your shoulder – probably your very captain telling you to silently shut the hell up. But when they saw Tendou’s smile and Ushijima’s confused face, they were just as perplexed.

“Missed me boys?” You waved at the crowd of Shiratorizawa jackets, spotting a few familiar faces.

“We have a traitor in our midst!” Tendou yelled back, ruffling you hair and gaining surprised laughter from Bokuto.

During that Interhigh National Tournament, your team was defeated in the quarter finals by an all-girls school called Niiyama High. With a proud mindset, you set your eyes on your next chance in the spring with the third-years leading the charge. Unlike most schools, you were a powerhouse and not a single problem, like college exams or even graduation, was going to stop the third-years from continuing to Spring nationals.

The women’s team were comprised of mostly strong-willed women with fervent determination. You were quick to pick-up your dignity after the lost match and decided on supporting your male counterparts at the tournament. The match between the men’s teams of Shiratorizawa and Fukurōdani Academy were still going on and it was hype as fuck.

Both schools were known powerhouses, coming with complete cheerleaders, an entire cheering section, a band, and a teacher delegated with the pure role of leading the loud shouts. On the court, it was easy to tune out the audience and keep your eyes focused on the enemy in front of you. But as the women’s team scoured for seats, you could not help but be amazed at the sheer amount of people from your school who showed up to cheer. Bokuto was anxiously squeezing his hands at the sidelines, but you knew he was destined for more.

You and Bokuto had an affinity for befriending members of other teams and after the Interhigh tournament came the Kanto training camp – which rightfully handed you another ass. Other powerhouse schools taught you that you truly had much more to learn. Ubugawa, both men and women, were widely-renowned for their power serves. And as a libero, this awarded you constant red arms and a couple overly-excited receives to the head.

But it also brought you the greatest gift of all – or maybe worst, who knows?

This friendly camp introduced the sassy duo of Tetsurō Kuroo and Morisuke Yaku. Yaku was an amazing libero whom you admired from afar, even in your younger years. And this camp gave you a personal connection to the young man. The first few times you tried approaching him, your shyness would often kick in. Three years later and you could get away with lounging your legs across his.

In your second-year, Bokuto was already vice-captain while you only just gained a position on the starting block. It was, you figured, entirely natural since Bokuto was gaining ranks amongst national spikers. And that year, you secretly believed in your heart, was the best year of the three. The weight of the world had yet to be placed on your shoulders and there was no looming thought of graduation on the horizon. And that year ushered the era of Akaashi. You heard his name constantly, from both Bokuto and other male volleyball players, but was never fully familiarized with the boy.

You knew from bits and pieces that he was charming young man that Bokuto held in high-regard. A junior high picture showed a cute boy with dark scruffy hair, around your height. But hot momma, you were not prepared at all. Akaashi was a good amount of centimetres taller and his build accentuated his role as setter. And you were not going to lie, he was attractive.

You spotted him several times at practice, but you were too shy to actually introduce yourself. It took Bokuto literally shoving you at the poor boy for you to finally say hi. Something about Akaashi reminded you of home. His personality reflected several different members of your previous male team and something in particular about him often had you with a reminiscent smile. He was determined like Semi and incredibly proper like Ushijima. You even saw bits of Tendou in his sass and it was within a few days that you decided that this boy was going to be one of your best-friends.

The pretty-setter was in advanced classes and had no problems being included in courses with his older senpai’s. In the study group, Akaashi was the one often leading the charge and you thanked the stars for blessing your life with such an amazing guy.

By the time it was your third-year, Akaashi was already tired of your shit and would steer you away from any team with a semblance of purple in their uniform. Of course, he could never fully keep you from your original idiots and had to withstand it eventually. You progressed onto becoming vice-captain with your exuberant setter at the lead. The men’s vice-captain wondered on several occasions how the two leading counter-parts were so completely opposite to himself. You almost felt bad, but you knew that Akaashi secretly loved the attention he received from the extroverted cast. Between the two captain’s, you found yourself to be a tiny bit tamer and that caused Akaashi to find friendship in you.

It was during your last Spring Tournament that you felt your heart break. You were entirely focused on the winning title, but of course seeing the boys of Shiratorizawa was something you looked forward to. It was an added bonus to achieving a spot on the national scene. Sure, it was amazing for your volleyball team to achieve a title of that high regard. But it was never about the destination, but the journey. And you had multiple memories of fun and laughter when your team hung-out with Shiratorizawa.

But they never showed up.

You rubbed your eyes to reread the brackets, the name ‘Shiratorizawa’ never appearing on the paper. You asked Bokuto if there was a typo, but he was proud to reply that his apprentice finally brought the great Ushijima to his knees. You knew Karasuno joined the Kanto training camp during the summer, but that did not imply anything. Sure, it was to train powerhouse schools, but neither Shinzen nor Ubugawa qualified for nationals this year.

And yet, after watching the last two sets of Karasuno vs. Shiratorizawa, you knew.

It was over.

Your paradise was long gone and you wondered why Tendou never brought-up the subject while he kept in close-contact with you. You kept your friendship with Tendou throughout high-school. He was eager to text and had no reserves about calling you. Ohira and Semi were both polite, but kept a considerable distance since you were only on generally nice terms before. They had no reason to make the effort and reach out to you. Seokawa had his own problems. And you heard from Tendou that the poor vice-captain was on the chopping block from the starting lineup from the hands of a new first-year.

Ushijima… He was continually elusive. Whether in-front of you or miles away, Wakatoshi would speak to you in concise words or none at all. You were okay with that in junior high, but the emptiness of his expressions seemed to echo with every day you were apart. You were close to the ace before you left, one of the few proud females to call him your friend. The two of you had a mutual understanding, able to communicate without words and truly appreciate the other person. He was not another pretty face to you, but a genuine cinnamon roll who needed help in the world. Ushijima was brutally honest and incredibly dense, traits that radiated in the young-male that you understood from his upbringing.

And yet, when you confessed your feelings to him before you left, he simply replied, “Thanks, you’re a good friend. I like you too.”

Out of embarrassment, you did not want to push the subject and just nodded at his words. Despite the limited amount of terms in his vernacular, Ushijima seemed to always make them sting in your heart. Tendou heard the news secondhand from his best-friend and attempted to confront you, but by then you were long gone. It was easier to dodge the questions when the eyes of the guess monster were not narrowing before you.

Most of the graduating volleyball players who continued with the sport advanced to a prominently volleyball-oriented college. So you were stuck with Bokuto, Kuroo, and many others for another four-years, not that you were complaining. This also implied another four-years of being included in party central and that thought alone made you tired. To your astonishment, Tendou had informed you that Ushijima was also going to Tokyo U, along with a few others from the Miyagi prefecture. You were excited at the prospect of being reunited with a few others, but was quickly heart-broken at the news of the Guess Monster quitting volleyball.

You could only imagine a team with both the owl and cat. It must be hella scary for the opponent! Kuroo, you were sure, was one of the best middle-blockers in the Kanto prefecture and having two formidable aces only added to the team’s repertoire. One more year and Akaashi would join them. That would be the power team you would pay to see. But after spotting the gaudy, yet incredible skill of Oikawa Tooru, you stated that the team was overpowered and needed to be fixed because it was simply unfair.

Your training with Yaku did not betray you and you were proud to represent Japan on the professional scene. Seeing your past rivals from Niiyama High only fueled your passion. It proved your ability to stand at the same level next to previously prestigious “queens of the court.” Only one other female enrolled in Tokyo U with you from Fukurōdani Academy and the two of you were roommates. She was your only friendly familiar face on the team and it seemed like the Miyagi prefecture had more strong males in volleyball than females for the school-year.

The sport itself was nothing in comparison to high-school. Even while attending a private academy, your time at Fukurōdani was more laid-back than college. The men’s and women’s volleyball teams were entirely separate entities and they were not as close-knit like in high-school. Bokuto and yourself had a tight friendship and kept your study group from Fukurōdani, with the addition of Kuroo and Oikawa. As the schoolyear progressed, you saw the addition of Yaku and even later Ushijima.

The only times you really hung-out with the boys was concerning class or getting lit. Kuroo was a party-animal and you learned the different player’s names as they flit through party to party. And since Ushijima was the way he was, you almost never saw him. It was ironic. Tendou attended school in Tokyo as well, but at an entirely different college. And yet you talked to him more than Ushijima, who was always only a few minutes walking-distance.

That was until your spring semester, when you had to share a general-education class with the ace. Ushijima did not ignore you, he acknowledged your presence with a friendly head-nod, but never actually engaged in conversation. It had been three full years since you had a meaningful conversation with someone who used to be your best-friend. Akaashi advised you to stop acting like a little bitch and actually talk to him. And you decided on not letting this opportunity slide.

At the start of the next biology class, you took the seat next to Ushijima’s usual spot. You saw the almost unperceivable narrowing of his dark eyes as they gazed over you, but held your ground. There were a few minutes to the start of class, so you initiated conversation.

“So how’s volleyball?” Three years of not talking and that’s your leading question?? You internally screamed, but later thought of it as appropriate. Ball was literally life for Ushijima, so asking a question of ‘how are you’ would undoubtedly include the sport.

“Fine.”

“How are you handling Bokuto?”

“He is loud, but a rational spiker who is good for the team.”

“Yeah, he tends to bring out the best in other people.”

“Ah.”

“One more year and Sakusa is rumored to join the college team. Looks like Tokyo U might have more rivals within the team than on the outside.”

“I will accept anyone’s challenge.”

“… Nice.”

So much for that! You sighed outwardly, labeling your attempt as a defeat and willing to just end the conversation there. He seemed to notice your distress, but made no effort to address it. Instead, you took out your phone and readied to text Tendou depicting your failure.

Right when you were going to click send, Ushijima spoke and took away from your line of thought, “You were the vice-captain of the women’s team at Fukurōdani Academy.” He was stating more than asking and you simply nodded to affirm his statement.

“How did you know?”

“Tendou supplied daily updates on your status.”

“Oh..” You were inwardly blushing. The Guess Monster was such an instigator, even when he was miles away he was trying to set you up with his ace! You found his actions loyal and damn, he was hard-core bro.

“It is rare for a libero to be chosen to lead a team.”

“I didn’t exactly do that… My friend who was the captain was much more inspirational and had no problems rallying the team. I was more of the foundation that would support you from the distance.”

“Many do not realize the importance of a libero.” The statement was completely ambiguous and you were unsure if it was a compliment or something Ushijima was simply stating.

Your conversations continued on like this for the rest of the semester. The two of you were cordial and even shared lunch several times. However, the dark-haired spiker still spoke with concise and blunt words. To any outsider, it appeared that Ushijima was simply entertaining your attempts at friendship. But you knew. Years of patience and experience had already taught you that Ushiwaka already categorized you as a friend. Otherwise, he would make no effort to even listen to you and would directly shut you down.

During the break, many of the students would return home for the extended amount of time. And to celebrate their last night, Kuroo of course arranged a party to include their soon-graduating seniors. It was more laid back and invited both the men’s and women’s volleyball team. And for once, during the entire first year of college, you saw Ushijima at a party.

You were, by no definition, a party-animal like your close friends. Bokuto and Kuroo thrived under social events and you viewed it as simply trivial. You could enjoy the occasional party and drinking with your friends. But you preferred smaller groups of hanging-out with the few people you cherished. Lazily watching a movie or playing video games appealed more to you than the party-scene. There was nothing wrong with it! You just preferred something more low-key.

There were certain members of the men’s volleyball team that seemed to simply baffle you with their personalities. Kuroo was the master of provocation and off the court, he was the sass master of the new volleyball mean girls – mean boys? You simply named them the salt squad, since it was easier. The combination of Kurro, Oikawa, and Bokuto was too much for one friend group and you often avoided their loud boisterous voices during a party.

Kuroo, however, had no problem spotting you in the doorway the moment you entered and just as quickly there was a drink in your hand. You sipped away, tasting the familiar flavor of honey jagermeister. Bokuto was probably the happiest of the bunch, singing offtune into the karaoke machine whilst the music of the party boomed around him. There was no doubt he would be sad at losing his senpai’s, but that gloomy thought lasted for a brief moment until he was reminded that Akaashi would soon be joining the squad. You worried for the poor setter – by the end of your third-year Akaashi looked done and you could only imagine him at the end of another four years.

You off-handedly expressed this thought to Bokuto once, who simply waived it off and implied that at least Akaashi will be reunited with you, instigating something yet again. Kuroo agreed before slapping you on the back, offering encouraging words along the lines of you finally hitting that.

“One more month until you’re reunited with your lover boy!” He enthusiastically yelled with a distant Haruki agreeing. You rolled your eyes and pushed him away jokingly.

The two – with the help of even Kuroo! – had no problems shipping you and Akaashi together throughout high-school, even going as far to lock the two of you in the storage closet. But you knew. Akaashi had his eyes set on someone else, they were just too oblivious to see how enraptured the setter was. If anything, Akaashi was the brother you never had.

The party was loud and you wondered how none of the RA’s attempted to break-up the source of probably many complaints. It occurred to you somewhere along the way that they were probably at the party as well. It was the end of the schoolyear, of course everyone would be more laid back.

Oikawa offered you a hello and took a quick snap with you for social media before continuing to flit through the party. You wandered on your own, spotting other members of your team and waving joyfully at them. A different red solo cup made its way in your hands, bringing the grand total of drinks to four full red-solo cups in five minutes. There was music booming through the rooms and you were not a dancer, so you steered clear of that particular area. Once you reached the living-room, there was a large aura projecting discomfort and looking entirely out of place.

Ushijima was sitting on the couch, looking incredibly bored and sporting his usual stoic-look, sandwiched between fellow non-party animals, one who you recognized as Daichi Sawamura. You knew the other was generally calm, but not at all reserved. You made eye-contact with the ace, ready to make your way over and the other two acknowledging it. Daichi offered his seat to you and you figured this was an incredibly rare opportunity, which you would not be surprised if never happened again.

“You look like a true farmer against us city-folk.”

“That is because I am from a small town.” Ushijima explained.

“I mean, you look out of place. Maybe that wasn’t the best analogy,” You sighed inwardly, “I’m surprised to see you here.”

“It occurred to me that most of the team socializes this way.” Ushijima explained. “This may contribute to future synergy.” You nodded at his line of thinking and sympathized with the ace.

You sat in comfortable silence, occasionally sipping your drink and mid-way realizing you had never experienced this particular burn down your throat before. It was the number one rule at a party to never drink from an open container or simply from something that you were unsure of the contents. You thought back to your first two, given to you by the trustable Kuroo. But the next few drinks drew blanks and it hurt your head to think about it.

Ushijima, spotting your expression, did not hesitate to take the cup out of your hand and set it on the table. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah, just wondering what the hell that was.” You held your head and knew there would be an oncoming headache.

You wanted to get fresh-air, getting up without saying goodbye. You pushed through the crowd, faces blurring together and no one really speaking to you directly. The door was not a far distance and you were quick to rush outside. There was a trash-bin by the lightpost and you leaned over it, the feeling of bile crawling up your throat but never fully making it up. An unfamiliar hand was on your back and you turned around to see Ushijima attempting to comfort you.

“This is far from alright.” He noted with hard-eyes, but did not halt the movement on your back.

“I thought I could take it.”

“Where is your dorm?”

“Looking to finally make a move on me, Waka-chan?” Woah, backup! The effects of alcohol seemed to be seeping down in your mind, but there was nothing you could have done to stop the words from leaving your mouth.

Thankfully, the ace ignored your words and put an arm around your waist and threw your own around his shoulder. The poor man carried you back into the building, but to another dorm room. You felt bad for Ushijima, having to drag along a drunkard to probably his own room.

There was no other inhabitant – you figured his roommate was probably at the party – and you took note of the neat room. Ushijima placed you precariously on his bed before going into another area, you presumed the bathroom. The walls were sparsely decorated – you could attribute that to the fact that everyone would be moving out soon for the semester end.

You sat-up, observing the unusually decorated desk of the ace. You knew instantly that it was Ushijima’s since the first frame was of his team back in Shiratorizawa. From his number, it was during a time that Ushijima was captain, but to you that could have literally been any year. It was no secret that Waka was strong and you wondered if he had a leadership role for multiple years. Another frame was depicting prom, you assumed, with various third-years of both the men’s and women’s volleyball team looking snazzy.

The last frame left you breathless.

It was of your junior-high days. Tendou was happily sporting his unforgettable bowl-cut with Reon showcasing his brand new toy in the background. In the foreground, was you and Ushijima side-by-side. You had an arm tucked in his, but the two of you used opposite hands to form a single heart. The only reason he had agreed was at the sly provocation of Tendou and his general naivety.

But why did he keep it?

You were holding the frame by the time Ushijima came out of the bathroom and instantly commented on it, “Look at little Waka-chan! You were so cute. Ha, you’re still cute.” Ushijima lifted an amused brow before attempting to grab it from your hands. He was guiding you to his bed, placing you there to lay down.

“I wish I meant something to you.”

Alright, you were definitely drunk.

His grasp loosened and you could sense distress in the dark-orbs that gazed at you. “You mean a lot to me.”

You sighed and seemed to not notice him tucking you into the bed, “Yeah, yeah. You told me that before. I’m a great friend.”

“You are referring to the time that you stated your feelings for me.” Ushijima clarified and you were only growing more exasperated.

In your alcohol-induced state, you had no filter and lifted your arms in derision. Taking a deep sigh, “Well duh. I confessed and you just waved me off.”

“I want to get to know you again.” Ushijima stated, “Now get some sleep.” You did not have it in you to fight back, but instead snuggled further into the pillows of your previous unrequited love.

The next day, you were sporting a headache that pulsed from the back of your head and hammered its way to the forefront. Ushijima was a gentleman and you had no qualms about waking up in his bed, squeezed between the wall and his large figure. He stirred the moment you moved, but you were too occupied with the throbbing pain to care. It seemed he was prepared for this moment, handing you a banana and a drink that looked too green in your opinion.

Ushijima put a hand in the small of your back, guiding you to sit-up and drink. You leaned into his touch, too mentally exhausted to really question what was happening. His other hand outstretched across your waist and you off-handedly noted that his roommate still had not returned to the dorm. Eye contact with the ace was too intense for the quiet morning, so you leaned further into the steady chest of Ushijima. You could feel the light thump of his heartbeat and closed your eyes against the reliable man.

Three years and it seemed Ushijima still had you in the palm of his hand.

And unfortunately for you, unlike most who get inebriated, you remembered everything from the previous night.

But Ushijima never commented on your leading words, so you decided to not bring them up. There would always be the mental reminder that you slept with the love of your life! And seeing him would just raise a blush. But Ushijima always seemed unconcerned in the matters of love and you let the days pass without bringing up your emotional distress. The last time you confessed did not exactly result in a happy ending, so you were content with saying nothing. You were happy with the simple memories of his strong arms surrounding you and his manly scent. Ushijima did not use scented shampoos or cologne simply because he found no need to, so his particular scent was entirely natural and entirely him.

There was a shift in your friendship, in the small gestures that you were gradually noticing. Ushijima was not a man of words, but of action. After class, he would wait for you to pack your things or even hold your backpack for you. When walking side-by-side, he made sure to keep a closer distance to you than anyone else. These things always garnered a smile.

Finals were quickly approaching and, even though volleyball was your love, you still had to maintain your scholarship. You haunted both the gym and library, your favorite ace trailing behind you at each destination. When majority of the volleyball males failed to show up to another study session, you were left alone with Ushijima. You took this opportunity to throw endless questions at the ace, who was willing to supply answers.

“I don’t remember Shirabu…” You said.

“He did not attend Shiratorizawa in junior high.”

“Oh. But I’m sure he’ll make a good captain.”

“They have enough talent to carry them far.”

“Kind words from the intense ex-captain.” You commented, then continued.

“I heard Daichi Sawamura is from Karasuno.” You simply stated, waiting for him to interject. Ushijima only looked at you expectedly, supplying you with no words. “If you could, would you play Karasuno again?”

“Yes.” He paused, looking down at the textbook then back up at you. “I wanted to crush them.”

“I understand.” You nodded, “Anyone in particular?”

“Hinata Shoyou and Kageyama Tobio.” Ushijima was quick to respond and it was at that moment that he looked true to the scary rumors spread about him.

He was the type of person you could easily irk, but he would not express it unless you pushed him to do so. Waka was naturally patient and would not engage in useless confrontation. Ushijima and Tendou, you remembered, were prime members of the original Shiratorizawa salt squad, but they never actually hated anyone. And yet you could tell here and now that Ushijima’s feelings ran deeper than just animosity.

“The freak quick duo?"

“Only the setter has true talent.” He stated, but you could tell he was holding something back. You reached over and placed a light-hand on his own. Instinctively, Ushijima clenched it, but quickly relaxed under your touch.

“I hate baseless confidence.” Ushijima hesitated again, organizing his thoughts. “Hinata Shoyou was unable to demonstrate below average skill in blocking and receiving. Every time he served it seemed as though it was his first time. And yet…”

You put your book down at his silence, the sentence carrying with no ending. It was baffling to the ace, who was blessed with immense talent and height to carry him to nationals all three years of high-school. And yet his final tournament was stopped short by someone who was a full twenty-five centimeters smaller him. Not only that, but you could only imagine the disappointment after years of absolute victory to a fallen powerhouse.

“It is indescribable with words.” Ushijima settled on saying, “Hinata Shoyou and Kageyama Tobio have incredible synergy that is impossible to duplicate elsewhere.”

You nodded at his explanation before returning back to the study material. It was rare moments like this that showed that Ushijima was willing to open up his world to you. On more than one occasion, it seemed like you were prying. But Waka was quick to end your worrying by supplying questions of his own and even seeking out your friendship. It was slowly becoming like old times, but with the added benefit of a deeper relationship than one in junior high.

The semester break left you alone in Tokyo with your old friends – the Miyagi crew heading home for the extended amount of time. Thankfully, Ushijima fully recognized your growing friendship and made sure to socialize with you on a daily basis, with texts and even long phone calls into the night. It was quieter without Oikawa, but Kuroo and Bokuto were quick to integrate Akaashi into their group. You felt bad for the poor guy, but at least Kenma was attending the college as well. The blonde did not continue playing volleyball, but you could not separate his presence from the sport.

The new semester issued in so many more names that you literally could not keep up with the sheer amount of new volleyball players. You settled on the fact that every pretty person on the team had to be a setter after seeing the full line-up. Oikawa was fairly obvious, but Akaashi and the new addition of Shirabu Kenjiro definitely reinforced this fact. You had a palpable bias for befriending players from the Miyagi prefecture, since that was your previous home, but it was impressive how many of them from that area progressed to the Tokyo University.

You heard a considerable amount about Shirabu from Tendou and you learned quickly that he would add to the salt squad of Oikawa, Kuroo, and Bokuto. Sakusa was incredibly quiet and you wondered why Bokuto painted the poor boy as such an antagonist. Of the top five nationally ranked spikers of your graduating year, three of them were on the same team now. You wondered, several times in fact, how the hell the college was able to procure such a strong team.

Nishinoya was a ball of sunshine and a libero that made you wonder how he slipped under your radar. You got a quick glimpse of his skill when you watched his match against Shiratorizawa, but it was nothing like the upfront experience of his receiving skills. His dexterity was recognized by Yaku and the three of you, along with the other older female libero, formed a training regimen for your benefit.

Since you had priority registration this time, you were able to schedule classes with a friend in each one. Many of the volleyball members took sports medicine as their mandatory science elective and a good amount of you vowed to take it together. It was a class that few others would sign-up for and you were sure that you would all be able to enroll into the same class time. At first, it seemed like a good idea to share a class with many of your close-friends.

But, holy shit, you were wrong.

It was clear that this was not thoroughly considered. Your roommate was so enthusiastic and her attitude was fueled by the mean boy’s trio of Oikawa, Kuroo, and Bokuto. If that was not enough, of course, Akaashi and Ushijima were roped into taking the class.

The elective class, comprised of forty people in total, had a combination of seven crazy volleyball players and it was rare for a class to go by without your group getting yelled at by the professor. Literally, every single one of those boys were the captain of their respective team in high-school. And yet??? How?? You wondered more than once.

It would always start with Oikawa’s never ending anger at Ushijima. From there, Akaashi could either decide to mediate the situation or allow Kuroo to provoke Oikawa more with teasing. If it was the latter, Ushijima seemed immune to their words and that only caused the two to get louder and more irritated. If it was the former, Bokuto would urge Akaashi to allow the two to settle their issues and it easily became an even more exasperating situation.

The worst option, was when the salt squad put aside their issues to provoke the ones around them. In high-school, Kuroo and Bokuto had no problems shipping you with Akaashi and Oikawa caught wind of this news fairly quickly. Your roommate from Fukurodani knew the truth, since you told her your history of Ushijima long before when the two of you were still attending high-school. But that fact did not stop her from joining in teasing you.

It was hella annoying, but your efforts to stop them halted long ago since there seemed to be no end. Both you and Akaashi would usually just ignore their teasing. But since Ushijima was in your class, fully present and listening to this, you stopped their attempts to get you and the setter together.

“But seriously.” Kuroo was urging you yet again during the break, “You guys are so cute.”

“You would have volleyball children!” Oikawa joked.

“Make sure they join the Fukurodani team.” Bokuto added, not looking up from his notebook as he copied down the notes off the board. You would urge on several occasions that this was not the case. Ushijima seemed to believe you words. And yet, every time he was present to hear the teasing his eyes would linger for a second longer or be a little too intense. But it was gone in seconds.

They took it too far one night, claiming to invite everyone out to dinner but only the two of you would be present. Akaashi had no problems with proceeding with dinner and you were fairly hungry. There was originally nothing stopping you from having a good time anyway, if not for the presence of Ushijima Wakatoshi. He just so happened to be present with Tendou at the restaurant, lounging by the window and listening to the boisterous voice of his best-friend.

You wanted to remain unseen, but unfortunately was seated directly next to them.

“(F/N)-chan! Wow are you finally dating?” Tendou asked, skipping all introductions to call you out. “Wait, I’ve seen you a few times on (F/N)’s Instabook. Good for you girl, he’s a good catch too.” Tendou lifted a thumbs-up in your direction and winked at Akaashi.

Akaashi, sick and tired of shit and future shit for the past four years (with an additional imminent three), slapped a palm to his forehead. Tendou gave a nervous laugh when the setter raised his head and settled a hard gaze on the red-head. “We are not dating.”

Akaashi then slowly turned his head to Ushijima and narrowed it with a certain passion that had the ace minimally narrow his brow. However, neither male waivered in their gazes. “I would not be subjected to this if a certain someone,” He took a long pause, “would confess their feelings for (F/N).”

Tendou was only more confused, turning his head to gaze between both boys. “Our friends are trying to get Keiji and I together. So they invited us to dinner and didn’t show up.” You explained.

“Oh.”

Ushijima and Akaashi had yet to relieve themselves of the eye-contact and you wondered why the hell they showcasing here and now their immense male pride. Tendou rolled his eyes and refused to comment on the situation.

Akaashi started, “With all this time (F/N) and I are spending together, we might as well date.”

That elicited a response, however incredibly minimal, from Ushijima. Unfortunately for the previous Shiratorizawa ace, his two best-friends were witnessing his unusual behavior. You and Tendou had spent so much time and were fine-tuned to the quiet man. And the slight narrowing of his gaze did not go unnoticed by either of you. Additionally, Akaashi was incredibly perceptive and observed the movement as well.

Akaashi lifted his chin and continued to push, “Maybe our friends were right. Maybe we should date – it’s not like there’s anything stopping us, right?” Akaashi turned to you and suddenly all three pairs of eyes were concentrating on your response.

Having Ushijima’s tense gaze pointed at you, it was overwhelming. You could see him clench and unclench his fist under the table, a form of stress-relief that you noticed the ace doing more than once in the past.

“What a love triangle we have here.” Tendou commented, smirking away and attempting to disseminate the tense atmosphere.

You opened you mouth to reply, but it was at that moment the waiter approached your table. She asked for your drinks and possible appetizers and by the time she was gone, so was the guess monster and his ace.

“Sorry Tetsurō jr., since when did you provoke other people?” You inquired the setter across the table from you.

“I always have, you’re just too dense to realize.”

“Excuse me?!”

“I spend most of my time with Kuroo-san, Oikawa-san, and Shirabu. Believe me, I’m the good one.”

“You mean Kōtarō is the good one.”

“Yeah right,” Akaashi scoffed and you tilted your head in surprise, “The moment you walk away Bokuto-san has no problems ogling your ass like the rest of them.”

The rest of your night went along smoothly, with of course, more teasing between you and the setter. Your friendship never wavered, even with a good year apart (not really since c’mon you texted all the time and had dinner multiple times together anyway). It was nice to have the entire squad back, but this time including your most beloved member from Shiratorizawa and other crazy Miyagi members. It was like your second-year at Fukurōdani Academy, but better.

Akaashi walked you back to your dorm, since he was a gentleman, not matter how sassy. You waited outside your door and he was quick to say something, “Don’t think I’m going to kiss you. I just said those things to elicit a response from your crush.”

You laughed as you smiled, “Really?”

“You’re cute (F/N), maybe in another life we could be together. Who knows? We could have been married, had cute volleyball babies, and spent our lives basking in one another’s company.” Akaashi tenderly stated, gently pushing a strand of hair behind your ear, before his entire expression dropped, “But for now, you’re not worth getting my ass beat.”

“Wow!”

“Sorry sweetheart, I have my own love to pine unrequitedly for.”

“But she likes you.” Akaashi rolled his eyes and ‘lightly’ pushed you into the door, resulting in you getting thrust fully against the partition.

You landed in a loud thud as you giggled, not at all surprised if your next door neighbors heard it as well. Your door immediately opened to show both your roommate and a furious Ushijima, who quickly guarded you by pushing your body behind him. He looked entirely ready to fight Akaashi and you grabbed the crook of his left elbow before the situation got out of hand.

“Wakatoshi, we were just joking around. Thanks for seeing me home Keiji-kun.” Akaashi had a face you could not describe with words, a mix of two opposites: frightened and belligerent. Like he was prepared for this fight to happen, but already knew that he would lose before going into it.

He waved goodbye and you closed the door lightly, turning towards the two occupants in the room.

Your roommate was the first to talk, “I just realized I forgot something in Bokuto’s room! I should probably go get it before he falls asleep.” And with that lame excuse, she was gone.

“What are you doing here Waka?”

“Do you like Akaashi?”

“Of course, he’s one of my best friends. Akaashi has had my back for the past few years and I honestly can’t imagine high-school without his friendship to anchor me.”

Ushijima nodded and continued, “Would you date Akaashi?”

“Absolutely not.” You replied instantaneously, “I don’t think I could ever be able to view him in that light.”

“Earlier Akaashi referred to the possibility of someone confessing their feelings to you. And that would stop your constant association with him.”

“Yeah…”

“Who was he indicating?” Ushijima seemed genuinely interested and you had no idea how to address the situation.

Akaashi, in his deranged mind, believed that Ushijima returned your feelings and the only barrier to your relationship was your own refusal to confess. But he was wrong, you knew. You knew more than anyone else that Akaashi was wrong in every way. Ushijima’s only love was volleyball. It consumed his heart and mind and there was no room for anyone else, especially not you. And the past few years was enough concrete evidence.

“It doesn’t matter. Akaashi was wrong and just making a false assumption.”

“Then what is stopping you from dating Akaashi?” Ushijima sat on your bed, never breaking eye-contact with you, “You two are intimately acquainted already, single, with similar interests.”

Ushijima never really took an interest in your personal life. He was distant about personal barriers, never even getting close to the line. And yet here he was, freely asking and you were providing answers without hesitation. That was, until that one in particular. You knew the reason already, but to explain that to the object of your affection seemed entirely out of the question. You cherished your friendship with Ushijima and did not want to ruin the dynamic you had just recently rekindled.

“I’ve only had romantic feelings for one person.”

“And that is?”

Taking a deep sigh, you closed your eyes and reopened them to see the expectant eyes of Ushijima Wakatoshi. But they were laced with something else: hope? No, it was pure vulnerability. It was rare to see that on the stern face of your favorite ace, but it was undoubtedly splayed across his visage. You felt the tendrils of hope crawl at the corners of your heart. Even one of the most nationally recognized volleyball players could get anxious, but seeing it was reminder that Ushijima Wakatoshi was human.

A living, breathing, human susceptible to the clutches of emotion and maybe even love.

Grabbing onto your already fading confidence, you dragged out. “You know already. Wakatoshi…” You hesitated for a second, wondering how you should word this, “You’ve had my heart since junior high.” You murmured and quickly looked down at the ground, feeling just as exposed at revealing your darkest secret to your love of nearly eight years.

You returned your eyes back up to the ace, who was gazing fondly back at you. He was off the bed, standing at full height with his mouth open only slightly as if he wanted to say something in reply. He towered over you and you felt the full weight of your confession in the growing silence. Ushijima clenched his jaw and you quickly assumed that your words were a mistake that he did not want to hear - for a second time. Your breath came out ragged and you were sure tears were already formed at the corners of your eyes. You sorely wanted to take it back, to go back just a couples minutes and make up some excuse, but it was far too late.

Eight years was too long to be in love alone.

You clutched at your chest and turned to leave your own dorm, but Ushijima was quicker and grabbed your elbow. He spun you around and you landed softly against his chest, encased in the arms that you yearned to be in since that night you were drunk. He was looking down at you, a rare smile directed towards you alone and that fact single-handedly had your heart soaring. Ushijima nuzzled his nose into your hair and pulled your arms around his body.

“You should have been this clear the first time.” Ushijima spoke, his phrases getting muffled against you and yet you understood every single word. “Since it was been the same for me.”

“What?” You pulled back to look at him, “But you rejected me.”

“No, I did not. If I remember correctly, I told you that I liked you too.” Ushijima corrected, arms resting at your waist to get a good look at you.

“You said I was a good friend! You put me in the friendzone, never to date and just some pal like Tendou.”

“You and Tendou are not the same to me.” Ushijima raised a brow at you, “I do not want to date Tendou. And I certainly do not want to kiss him.” Any argument dissipated in your mouth and you were sure your eyes were wide eggs peering up at Ushijima. One look at his face and you could tell from the amused tilt of his lips that he was teasing you.

You smiled and leaned further into his chest, propping yourself upward on the edges of your toes. He had that small grin reflecting back at you, inclining himself downwards toward your height. Your noses gently bumped one another before he claimed your lips, placing a light peck on the silky skin. It lasted no more than a few seconds before Ushijima leaned back, placing one of his large hands on the back of your head for a more possessive position.

You kissed him eagerly, not showing even the slightest bit of hesitation when he swiped a warm tongue against your lower-lip. In response, you could not stop your growing smile and he was quick to explore your cavern.

Ushijima pulled back after an unmeasurable amount of time, leaving you heavily disheveled and clothes upturned. Never, in your nineteen years of life, would you expect Ushijima to be so passionate in something besides his beloved sport. Placing a curious touch on your lips was enough to signify that they were swollen, you could only imagine how you looked at the moment.

He was leaning his forehead against yours, moving his hands to cover your own and rub tender circles over the skin. “It is around midnight, I do not want to impose over your sleep-schedule.”

“But I don’t want you to leave.” You whispered back, placing a light kiss on the tip of his nose. Seeing the mighty Ushijima with a flushed face ignited a fierce desire in your heart. But when he started biting his lip, you were not sure if you were still breathing.

“Neither do I.” He placed a prolonged peck on your lips, raking a lazy hand through your hair while the other stroked your hip beneath the loose cloth of your shirt.

“We could’ve been doing this the entire time.” You spoke, words coming out in a small whimper under his ministrations.

“Looks like I have to make up for lost time.” Ushijima mumbled near your ear, in his deep husky voice. You nearly mewled purely from his words, but when he lightly sucked at your collarbone, you swear you died right there. The desire you previously felt sparkling beneath the surface was being dragged to the forefront, ready to combust and roaring proudly in your ears. You were surely intoxicated off the glorious specimen that is Ushijima Wakatoshi, the love of your life.

And suddenly he was grasping you chin, nuzzling your noses before lightly brushing your lips against one another. Ushijima paused, barely touching you and yet breathing in the same air, before crushing his lips against yours. He did not hesitate to take your bottom lip into his mouth, sucking away. It was an action so possessive and yet so Ushijima that you moaned into the touch.

“It’s only ever been you.” He murmured against your skin and you were fully unable to respond, head spinning purely off his affection. You never took Ushijima as the type to shower his significant other with fond words, but that was not entirely fair since you never imagined him even dating.

By the time you pulled away, it seemed Ushijima had already placed you to sit on your bed. It was astonishing how much you trusted him, how much he could get away with and you would sincerely follow him. He had a knee of the bed, dominantly hovering over you and invading all personal space.

“Ushijima,” You whispered against his lips, tenderly grabbing his face with both your hands to get a full look at him. He was always handsome, but seeing him with affection pointed only towards you – you were sure that he was your soulmate.

He hummed in question, eyes marginally open and a minute smile gracing his face. You continued, “I love you.”

Ushijima’s smile only grew, “I love you too.”

--------xXxXxXxXxXx------

-> Masterlist -> A/N: Hope you enjoyed the long-ride of this fic! There’s a lot going on and this was made around 2017-ish, so I’m happy that some of it hasn’t been disproven. :))

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ordinaryschmuck · 4 years ago

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What I Thought About The Falcon and the Winter Soldier

Salutations to you, random people on the internet who most likely won't read this. I am an Ordinary Schmuck. I write stories and reviews and draw comics and cartoons!

Gonna be honest, I didn't think The Falcon and the Winter Soldier needed to be a full-length TV series. I mean, if Spider-Man can discover that he didn't have to replace Iron Man in a two-hour and nine-minute long movie, then the Falcon can learn he can't replace Steve Rogers in the same amount of time, right? I was excited, don't get me wrong, but I didn't know how they can fit a plot for a movie into a six-hour-long series. Unlike WandaVision, which needed to be a TV show to get those TV homages right for each episode, The Falcon and the Winter Soldier didn’t sound like something that would honestly work better as a film. But, once it started airing, and my excitement increased each week, I can positively say that it would not have worked as successfully if it wasn't a TV series.

Unfortunately, I'll have to get into spoilers to explain why, but trust me when I say that if you haven't checked it out yet, you definitely should. Because I'm about to dive in (or fly in) as I explain why The Falcon and the Winter Soldier is easily in the top tier MCU projects.

WHAT I LIKE

Sam Wilson: If WandaVision was about developing Wanda, then The Falcon and the Winter Soldier is about developing Sam. He might share the spotlight with Bucky, but this is so clearly Sam's story. It's his journey of becoming the new Captain America that gets more of a focus, and it is one of the best aspects of the series. And as I said, it's similar to Spider-Man's journey in Spider-Man: Far From Home. Sure, this time, it's more about stepping up to the mantle, but both Sam and Peter have to learn how to be their own hero rather than replace the one left behind. In Sam's case, it's more than just being the new Captain America, but also being the black Captain America. I'll talk more about the implications of that later, but for now, all I'll say is that it was so engaging seeing Sam accept his role. Plus, even though Sam tries to carry Steve's title, that doesn't mean he's Steve Rogers 2.0. He has his own ardor and personality as Captain America, on top of still representing the aspects of what that title entails. Partial credit for that goes to Anthony Mackie, who does a phenomenal job of portraying a man who's inspirational and charming in all forms of hell. I'd salute him as much as I'd want to have a beer with him...except not really because I refuse to touch a single drop of alcohol. But Sam Wilson would make me consider it! Because he's that good of a character.

Bucky Barnes: Much like Vision in WandaVision, Bucky takes the sidelines as Sam acts as the main face of the series. Unlike Vision, however, Bucky's story seems more like its own thing rather than something that's connected with his co-star. In a way, it's better, but it also seems worse. Because without having it be locked with Sam's story, Bucky's is still compelling as it develops him further in his own way. His journey may not be as engaging as Sam's, but it's still entertaining enough to watch his own narrative get continued in small spurts. Although, the fact that Bucky's story has little to do with Sam's does have the unfortunate side-effect that he doesn't need to be there. His inclusion is very much welcomed, but I feel like Bucky dealing with his own guilt and trauma as the Winter Soldier could be something that can fill up its own series rather than half of one. That being said, Bucky absolutely needs to be in this show. The emotional turmoil that Sabastian Stan portrays so well hits hard, and his dry humor works for some comedic highlights. Bucky's half of the story might be unnecessary for plot reasons, but it is unquestionably necessary for enjoyment.

There’s a lot of talking: This seems like a misstep, especially since most superhero shows are bogged down by characters talking to pad out the run time. Although, the dialogue in The Falcon and the Winter Soldier is more like the dialogue in the series Daredevil. There are more words than action, but nearly every line is so incredibly engaging that I do not care. Sam and his sister talking to a banker about getting a loan might not sound as entertaining as Sam being in an air chase against terrorists, but I surprisingly held onto every word being said due to how well-acted it was. Plus, these discussions help make these characters more human on top of making the world feel believable. I understand the argument of show don't tell, but to me, as long as the dialogue is written well enough and said convincingly, I can learn to live with it.

The Flag Smashers: The concept of the Flag Smashers intrigues me. The idea that a group of people believes things were actually better when half the world got turned to dust is a perfect concept for the MCU to explore. In fact, this is the third story in a row that dives deep into the consequences of what happened post-Infinity War and Endgame, and I'm all for it! The universe is forever changed by this one big event, and it's not going to be irrelevant anytime soon. For the Flag Smashers, they offer the most striking glimpse of how the world is forever changed. Now, I'll admit, after seeing doom and gloom in Avengers: Endgame, it would be better to see the benefits of the Blip that characters claim to have existed rather than told about them. But seeing how there were dozens of fans who made the audacious claim that Thanos was right, I don't consider it too far of a stretch to believe that the Flag Smashers could exist. Especially since the arguments that characters present do seem persuasive enough. It's only the actions that the group makes that derail any sense of the discussion. But in a good way...for the most part. But I’ll get into that later too.

The Reveal of the new “Captain America”: This was the dirtiest, sickening punch in the gut that the first episode could have ended on...and I love it!

John Walker: I often find the best antagonists are the ones I'm willing to psychologically analyze. That's John Walker in a nutshell. He is an arrogant ass who deserved to get slapped around when taking things too far. Yet, I always find myself coming back to those scenes where he seems conflicted about becoming the new Captain America. I get a sense that he genuinely wants to do the right thing and those moments when he asks if he is all but confirms it. John's problem is the constant support he's given by his friends. I'd argue that building his ego is the very reason why he gets frustrated so quickly by people denying him, as he often reacts like a toddler who throws a tantrum when a parent makes the "mistake" of saying “no.” This is why it's satisfying seeing people more powerful than John kick the s**t out of him because it results in his ego going through a well-needed deflation. Still, the constant frustrations he has for not being respected as the new Captain America makes his further descent into insanity all the more appealing to watch. Because him taking the super-soldier serum proves Dr. Erskine's theory is true: "Good becomes great. Bad becomes worse."

...And this is why the writers dropped the ball when trying to make John Walker redeemable. It's exceptional if that was the intention. After all, I did say there were glimpses of a man who wanted to become great, not worse. However, given what John does in later episodes, we're going to need more than glimpses to believe his switch from bad to good. Especially since his decision to set his anger aside to suddenly help people is a little too unbelievable for my tastes given how fast it happens. It's not an awful decision. It's just one that needed a bit more polish. I still find John Walker an incredible character regardless, but I don't blame people for being a tad more hesitant given how poorly paced his redemption arc came across as.

Readapting “Star-Spangled Man”: I adore this for two reasons.

Reason #1: It's a solid callback to Captain America: The First Avenger, which I will always stand by as my favorite Captain America movie.

Reason #2: It proves how much John Walker doesn't understand what it means to be Captain America. When Steve did this song and dance routine in his movie, he hated it. Better yet, Steve despised it. Because he wasn't helping anybody. He was just being a dancing monkey to appeal to civilians, and you see how much he regrets doing it with each show. For John, he relishes the whole thing, because of course, he would! John loves having his ego appealed to, and this routine is doing nothing but inflates it. It's a solid case of visual storytelling to prove to the audience just how disconnected John is from being Captain America. Steve or Sam wouldn't have done this, because being a hero is more than respect and adoration. It's about actually doing the right thing. A lesson that John desperately needs to learn.

Sam’s and Bucky’s bromance: You remember how I said that Bucky's dry sense of humor can be a comedic highlight? Well, that's only second rate to the times he and Sam bicker like an old married couple. Whether it's because of the writing, directing, or Makie’s and Stan's natural chemistry, seeing Sam and Bucky interact with each other is always a blast to see. And on top of being funny, there are these well-handled moments of drama shared between both characters that make their relationship convincing. It's why you can't have this series without Bucky, despite it so clearly being Sam's story that gets the more focus. Because without either character, we would miss out on some entertaining interactions that I wouldn't trade for anything else for this series.

Isaiah Bradely: Well, this character was a pleasant surprise. Although, "pleasant" might not be the right word because every scene with Isaiah is absolutely gut-wrenching in all the right ways. Carl Lumbly gives a phenomenal performance for a character that has been beaten down, with very little hope he has for any change that matters for his race. Plus, his backstory may not be as unbelievable as you might think. Between 1932-1972, America performed what is known as the Tuskegee Experiment. Scientists tested the effects of syphilis by injecting it into African Americans, telling them that they were receiving free health care when they didn't. So the idea that scientists tested super-soldier serums on African Americans, not knowing the dangerous effects, is not that far of a stretch. Neither is the knowledge that a black man was disrespected despite fighting hard for his country. If you researched African American history, you'll find that this type of horse s**t happens way more times than it should. It is heartbreaking, and Isaiah Bradley represents all of it. Thus making the little Isaiah exhibit in the Captain America museum all the more tear jerking just because of how sweet it is to see him get some semblance of a win. This level of discussion of what it means to be an African American is something I never expected with The Falcon and the Winter Soldier, but I greatly appreciate it nonetheless. What's even better is that these discussions don't end with Isaiah.

The discussions of racism: Again, this was something I didn't expect, but grateful for it nonetheless. I mean, I should have expected it given that one of the co-stars is black, but given how the story was about Sam being the new Captain America, I didn't think discussion of racism and racial injustice would come into play. Turns out that I was naive to think those things are separate. The burden of being a black Captain America is something that not many white people, including myself, consider a big deal. But looking at America's past and how others react to any African American in power, you realize that, yes, it is a big deal. Isaiah, and several real-life POCs in history, prove that America doesn't respond well to a person of color being better than the average white man. So it is easily reasonable to believe that there would be issues with a black man becoming a symbol of what America should be. Hell, I'm willing to bet that there were issues when this happened in the comics way back when. Not because of some bulls**t about how it doesn't fit with the character or story, but solely because they can't handle a black Captain America. And if you don't believe something like this wouldn't happen to someone like Sam Wilson, look back to that scene with the police who didn't know he was the Falcon. This crap happens every day, and it's The Falcon and the Winter Soldier that shines a light on it. Despite being something I didn't expect, the talks of racism are very much appreciated. And I'm as pale white as an introverted vampire. I can't even begin to comprehend how the African American community must feel about all of this.

Zemo: Who the f**k expected this guy to be one of the best things in the series?!

Seriously, from Captain America: Civil War, I wasn't too into Zemo as a character. I loved the idea that this powerless guy tore apart the world's greatest superheroes through intelligence and coercion. But his needlessly complicated plan and stale personality weren't enough to win me over. So when he returned, I expected to dread every minute of it. Little did I know that Zemo's comeback would skyrocket him into top-tier MCU villain territory!

Zemo is a character that, despite "helping" our heroes, still works on his own agenda. He might put them on the right path and occasionally assist in a fight, but only because he still won't stop at anything to make sure fewer super powered individuals are in the world. Because that's the thing about Zemo: His motivation was fine and understandable to a point, but his personality was flawed in Civil War. Here, I finally see how Zemo can work. Despite having no power, he uses his mind to look for any angle to control the situation, gaining an advantage even if it is for a short time. For instance, while he can't harm Sam or Bucky without risking his own life or jeopardizing his temporary freedom, he can still annoy the hell out of them. Like when he forced Sam into a situation where he had to drink literal snake juice. It's actually a ton of fun to watch, and I'm honestly glad that Zemo gets to live to see tomorrow. It means that he might make another return, and I can't wait to see what's in store for him in the future. Which is something I didn't think I'd say five years ago.

The Dora Milaje: It was actually pretty cool seeing these characters make an appearance, notably when they slapped around John Walker like it was nothing. Although, a part of me wonders that if Chadwick Boseman hadn't died last year, we would get to see T'Challa himself make an appearance. This lines up with the character, as I can see him dropping everything to hunt down the man who killed his father. Which would be just as awesome, if not slightly more so, to see. Still, we work with what life gives us. And what it gave are awesome cameos that make the MCU feel more inclusive about its characters rather than limiting them to their specific sections in the universe.

Walker killing the Flag Smasher: There is something so wrong with seeing that shield stained with blood. 'Cause here's the thing: Captain American can kill. He's a soldier. It's expected for a soldier to take lives for the sake of justice. What John Walker did isn't justice. It was vengeance. Vengeance that is fueled by anger rather than the need to do the right thing. Because when Captain America leads an army to kill the man who whipped out half the universe, that's fighting for a just cause. But when “Captain America” kills a man, the wrong man, for killing his best friend, that is an act of selfishness that no one would see your side on. And it was the final nail in the coffin that proves how John Walker does not deserve that shield.

Sam and Bucky vs. John: This might just be the best fight in the entire series. Not only is it so satisfying to see John Walker get everything that he deserves, but the whole thing was pretty intense to watch. After seeing what John can do with that shield, it makes moments when Sam and Bucky barely dodge his attacks with it all the more blood-rushing to see. Plus, Civil War's motif playing the background is another solid callback that fits well narratively since this is technically two superheroes fighting another superhero. It's an incredible scene that was worth the wait of four hour-long episodes to see.

Setting up Joaquín Torres as the new Falcon: I don't know if Marvel will follow through with this or even if they should. That being said, if they do, I'm all for it. Joaquín already seems like a pretty fun character, and his interactions with Sam show there's enough chemistry there to give Captain America a new wingman. I probably won't lose sleep if he doesn't become the new Falcon, but I'll still be excited regardless.

Madame Hydra: I know that she has an actual name, but I refuse to remember it due to how long and convoluted it is.

Anywho, we get a small glimpse of who Madame Hydra is as a character, but already I'm intrigued. She seems to have a fun personality, added by Julia Louis-Dreyfus' dry energy. Whether this is set up for the next big bad or just introducing a fun character, I'm interested. Madame Hydra was already a blast in the short amount of time she was in the show, and I can't wait to see what future installments have in store for her.

“Louisiana Hero”: Or as I like to call it, "Sam's Hero Theme." Because while this is the track that plays for the intro, it still shows up when Sam is training as the new Captain America. Not only is it insanely catchy, but I love that you hear a hint of the theme of Captain America: The First Avenger, yet "Louisiana Hero" is still very much its own thing. And that's another reason why I consider it Sam's motif because it fits precisely with the character. Sam is a person who has a hint of the good man that Steve was but still does his own thing when wearing the stars and stripes. Not a copy, but still heavily influenced by the original. So kudos to Henry Jackman for creating a musical piece that fits so well with a character far better than any other themes or motifs prevalent in the MCU. Because, let's be honest, there aren't that many.

Sam’s new suit: ...I mean, it looks cool. Kinda corny at times, sure, but points for comic accuracy.

Sam Carrying Karli: I mean, look at it.

This looks like something that should be painted and hung up on a wall due to how beautiful it looks.

Sam’s Speech: Two meaningful things are going on with this speech.

First, it proves once and for all that Sam Wilson is Captain America. He doesn't just fight for his country. He also believes the government that runs it should take accountability for any missteps before dealing with something worse than a person who took the term "rebellious teenager" into an extreme.

Second, it is so satisfying seeing Captain America tell government officials off about unjust treatment. Even if it does diddly-squat about anything in the real world, it's still a big moment that's effective because of the bulls**t that happens every day. It's far from an actual win, but it still feels good (I hope). And that still counts for something, right?

“We’ll need a U.S. Agent”: Credit to Louis-Dreyfus for saying a stupid cornball of a name and making it sound...not that.

WHAT I DISLIKE

Still running that Marvel Studios logo in every episode: It's still a nitpick, but its still annoying. It's alright if you want to use the full fanfare for the first episode, but at least shorten it for the rest of the season. Please? For the love of all that is holy?

The CGI: The Falcon and the Winter Soldier has some pretty...not great CGI. It's not as awful as the CG in the DC shows on the CW, but it is way too easy to tell what looks real and what doesn't. Failing to make CGI convincing has been a problem in the MCU for a while, as most of the time, characters barely look like they really exist in the scene. To me, I compare it to when Red vs. Blue switches between actual animation and Machinima. The CG models stick out like a sore thumb to the in-game models, but at least it looks cool. Because while I don't believe that I'm seeing an actual man with bird wings flying through a canyon while chasing helicopters...it still looks cool. Still, not many people would be as forgiving as I am to this type of thing, so it's onto the dislikes it goes.

The direction of the action: Now I want to clarify that I have no problems with the action itself. Some fight scenes are pretty cool while also added with some exciting set-pieces that kept me engaged the whole way through. It's just the direction of the action that I have issues with. The camera is always shaky with so many cuts that it's hard to follow half the time. It's an understandable technique to hide the stunt double's faces or to make it look like it really is the actual actor who's doing the fighting. The issue is that once you know a show like Daredevil exists, with its plethora of well-directed action, the cracks in the armor become much more noticeable for a series like The Falcon and the Winter Soldier.

Karli Morgenthau: Karli...frustrates me. Because on the one hand, Erin Kellyman does an impeccable job at portraying the heartbreak, frustrations, and determination that Karli has when fighting for her cause. On the other hand, Karli's cause is so layered with hypocrisy that it's hard to understand her position. She wants to prove how the world was better during the Blip, saying that everyone was happier then. So why do things like blow people up and kill “Captain America?” I get the latter. The guy's a d**k. But to prove to people how better things were, is death and destruction really the best choice to get that point across? I get the mentality of how people respond better to a harmful fist rather than a tranquil hand, but really, has that mentality ever worked out either?

However, you could argue that her hypocrisy is fueled by the super-soldier serum, with the "good becomes great and bad becomes worse" theory that John all but confirms. Although, unlike John, we never got to see Karli pre-serum, so we don't know how much it really had affected her. With John, it's easy as many scenes indicate how close he was to snapping and murdering someone who disrespects him. We don't get that for Karli and are left to assume she was already crazy about thinking how intense violence can show the world how great things were during the Blip.

Then again, that could be the plan. Show how a person with the best intentions is ultimately wrong, given the lengths they go through to accomplish them. It worked for Thanos, so it should work here. And it would have...if not for Sam saying that Karli has a point. Because for the main hero to say that the villain is correct, you have to show them doing more good than bad. I understand the mentality Karli, and the Flag Smashers, have. But by doing nothing but committing crimes and violence, any point they have is discredited. Take note of the fact that nobody but nutcases on the internet says that Thanos has a point. Because he doesn't. He's a maniacal supervillain who does something so intense that nobody should be on his side. It's similar with Karli, but because we're apparently supposed to agree with her, she doesn't work as well.

...DO YOU SEE WHY SHE'S FRUSTRATING?! Because while I can see how she can be an incredible character, there are so many holes in how she works that I fail to appreciate any of it. And seeing how she's the main antagonist, a character who takes up a good chunk of the screen time, it's not a good thing that she tends to flounder more times than she should. I want to like Karli, but given everything that's wrong with her, I just can't.

Rewriting Sharon as the Power Broker: This is an intriguing idea met with a mixed execution. You see, I like the idea of a character who was once an ally becoming a villain, yet the heroes have no clue about it whatsoever. It creates solid dramatic irony, but only if done well. With Sharon, it's not really done well. It genuinely feels like her character was changed radically to give her this personality. A fun personality, I'll add, but one that comes across as really jarring when looking back at her previous appearance. Don't get me wrong, a character's current personality feeling so radically different from their previous one can work a treat, but only when we see them go through point A to point B. We're told about the s**t that went down with Sharon, but unlike understanding the mentality of the Flag Smashers, her personality change would have been more effective if we saw it. So while I like the idea of Sharon becoming another big bad in the future, I would have liked it more if we saw her decline into possible villainy.

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By using my usual scoring system for MCU shows and movies, I'd give this season of The Falcon and the Winter Soldier a solid 8/10. There are problems. Quite a lot of problems. Hell, even the stuff I like comes with a fair share of issues. It's just a matter of asking yourself, "Do I like some parts more than I dislike them?" For me, I find myself enjoying much more than I didn't. It's not perfect by any means, but while it definitely falters at times, The Falcon and the Winter Soldier is a series that soars to great heights. You might not be in love with it, but you’ll have a helluva good time regardless.

Now if you don't excuse me, it's time I swap from one superhero series to another as I share my more in-depth thoughts on--

#marvel cinematic universe #the falcon and the winter soldier #mcu reviews #what i thought about

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reynesofcastamere · 5 years ago

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Thrown Gauntlet[Ω]

(A/N: Sooooo....I’ve decided to start another series of fics that I will be marking with [Ω] in the titles: To disinguish them from both the main series (which I am still working on) and the [β] drabbles (which are all over the place in terms of timeline, setting, universe, etc.). Essentially a very self-indulgent AU where Savage, Maul, and Feral all get adopted by Clan Wren. This installment takes place in 20 BBY, so Ahsoka is around 16 and Maul is about 34. However. I want to state outright that the dynamic is intended to be a verrrrry slow build and that nothing romantic and/or sexual will be occurring between Maul and Ahsoka until MUCH later. If what I’ve described does not sound like your personal cup of tea, then by all means, feel free to give this fic and/or series a pass. This is getting a bit long, so to sum up: No trigger warnings, Obi-Wan is an Incurable Flirt, Rex is Flustered, and Maul is about 100% Done With Everyone’s Nonsense. Unbeta’d) The Jedi Temple is buzzing. Not literally, of course, but Ahsoka can feel a strange vibration in the Force. Excitement, or maybe irritation? There’s definitely quite a bit more whispering amongst her fellow Jedi and the clone troopers she passes on her path to the east hangar. Master Anakin had told her to pack for a long trip, which she can only assume means they’ve been assigned another mission and he’s withholding the details so as to ‘surprise’ her appropriately. Typical Skyguy.

She spots Rex near the door, sans helmet. “Good morning, Captain.” A proper salute, quickly returned, though her tone is light. “Morning, Commander. And-er, yes, it certainly is.” He actually seems to be fidgeting a bit, and his face- “Rex, are you...blushing?” “N-no. No. Just-ah...Finished up my workout routine. Took more out of me than I expected. You know how it is; One day you’re all shiny-new and the next you feel older than General Yoda.” “Reeeeexxxx....Come on, whatever it is can’t be that bad.”

“The Clawbirds arrived about an hour ago. Captain Wren’s refusing to do much of anything until he finishes repairs on General Skywalker’s ship.” Rex caves, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. “Master Anakin can’t be too happy about that.” Ahsoka observes, knowing just how...particular he is about his personal projects. “Should I be worried?” “Er...maybe? It’s kind of a toss-up. Depends on whether M-” He begins, before a subtler voice cuts in. “Captain, there you are. I was hoping to speak to you.” The speaker is a male Zabrak with soft golden-yellow eyes and skin, the latter of which is liberally patterned in brown markings. Unusual enough, but he’s also clad in full Mandalorian armor, helmet tucked under one arm and carrying what looks like field medic gear along with the standard jetpack and arsenal of weapons. And he’s glowing; a defined Force signature radiating Light and positive energy like a solar lamp. How-? “Medic Sergeant Wren. They are still getting along, right?” “Oh yes. He’s in a much better mood than last time. Apologies, am I interrupting?” “Thank the Maker. And no, um. Commander Tano, this is Medic Sergeant Feral Wren.” Rex looks like he’s in danger of heatstroke with how red he’s gotten. It’s not hard to see why, especially when Feral gives a smile that could melt half the ice on Bahryn. Rather than salute her, he stretches his right hand out so that they can clasp forearms briefly, a greeting from one warrior to another. “It’s a pleasure, Medic Sergeant.” She smiles back. Ahsoka can’t help it. He’s just...She’s fighting the urge to hug him like some kind of stuffed animal toy. Which is bizarre and will most definitely not be happening anytime soon. “Tano...Oh, you must be ‘Snips’. It’s almost a shame Savage volunteered to help the younglings train, we’ve both wanted to meet you for some time now.” Wait, what? “Tranyc’vod [Sunny(star-burned) brother] Anakin hasn’t been able to call as often, but he’s very proud of your accomplishments.” Feral remarks, genuinely pleased even as her head spins with the implications. Her Master has a lot of explaining to do. “Speaking of which, I’d better not keep him waiting much longer. I look forward to talking to you again, though. See you later, Captain. Maybe you should ask the Medic Sergeant about those stamina issues you’re having?” She can’t resist ribbing Rex as she departs, watching him splutter as Feral, like any good medic, starts making inquiries about his ‘condition’ while looking him over. And placing a hand on his chestplate, apparently. Huh. Maybe her friend’s obvious crush isn’t quite as one-sided as she’d thought. Ahsoka navigates her way through the semi-organized rows of ships. Even if Anakin’s presence in the Force wasn’t abnormally strong, she doesn’t need to focus to find him. Not when he’s talking loud enough to be heard across half the hangar. “-last time, it’s fine! You’re just being paranoid, as usual.” “Every ship I have been forced to borrow from you has either crashed, suffered a critical malfunction, or was confined to the scrap heap mere hours after landing. No one is setting a foot on this poorly-constructed death trap until I am absolutely certain it won’t spontaneously combust mid-flight.” And that must be Captain Wren. He sounds...irritated, to say the least.

“My ships run perfectly, thanks. Must hurt that Mando pride, knowing a Jedi is a better pilot and mechanic than you, Captain.” She’s not quite within visual range yet, but she knows her Master is smirking. “How sad that as a Jedi, you cannot recognize your own failings, General. Perhaps you should conduct a survey of your ‘victims’ instead of this poor attempt at distraction. Mir’osik adiik be’kyorla hut’uun![Dung for brains child of (a) rotten coward!]-” “Ouch. What, did one of your horns get caught in the hydraulics?” “Hilarious. Make yourself useful by grabbing a towel, or something from Kenobi’s closet. I’m coming out.” “Ah, Captain Wren. I thought the general ambience had improved. What were you saying about my clothing?” She hadn’t been aware of Master Kenobi’s presence before this. Either he’d used a secondary entrance or had been waiting for his chance to join the exchange while the captain was busy. “Kenobi.”

“Oh come now, surely you can muster a more polite greeting than that. You’ve been away so long I’ve had to listen to recordings just to remember the sound of your lovely voice.” “Perhaps I will address you with respect when you learn to stop leering at me, besom [ill-mannered lout].” “Busted. Again.” “You’re not helping, Anakin.” Ahsoka rounds a corner and-Oh. Wow. How far down do those-? She blinks a few times, just to be sure of what she’s seeing. Yep, there is a very shirtless Zabrak with the kind of muscle definition that would make scores of artists weep standing with his back to her and wiping his face off with a towel. She desperately hopes that her jaw is not hanging open as he turns his head to survey her with one vibrant yellow tourmaline eye. She honestly doesn’t know if she wants to draw closer or back away in that moment. His presence in the Force is not a benevolent, harmless light, but rather a controlled fire that sparks and issues dark threads of smoke. This...Ahsoka doesn’t understand what is going on, and it’s starting to make her uncomfortable. “The spy finally shows herself.” He remarks, assessing and dismissing her as a non-threat within the span of a few seconds, continuing to wipe off whatever type of mess had been spattered on him. “Don’t mind him, Snips. Someone shoved a shock baton up his ass years ago and the medics never found a way to pull it out. Tragic, really.” Anakin Skywalker grins, arms loosely folded across his chest and leaning against the outside of his ship. “Ahsoka, this is Maul. We’ll be working with him and his people for the forseeable future.” It clicks suddenly where she’s heard both his name and that of his group before: Captain Maul of Clan Wren and his company are the only Mandalorian supercommandos who will actually work with the Jedi Council. At least, when they’re not busy with bodyguard or mercenary jobs. Part of that involves what is referred to -with some awe and a lot of fear- as ‘running the gauntlet’, a mandatory training course for any Padawans or Knights posted to or intending to spend a considerable amount of time in the barely-civilized regions of space. It’s been suspended since the war started in earnest, but if they’re going to be sticking around for a while...Well, the implications are pretty serious. And Ahsoka has somehow managed to ogle one of the most infamous hardasses this side of the Mid Rim. Fantastic. Really. Maul disposes of the stained towel and turns to face her properly, Ahsoka’s gaze staying determinedly on his face as they grip each other’s right forearms. He doesn’t pull back after a few seconds as Feral had, hand locking in place as he seems to peer into her soul. “I will say this once. We are not like our evaar’la vod’e[young brothers]. We are not subservient to you, and I do not accept excuses or blatant disrespect.” A pause and a slight increase in pressure, just below the threshold of inflicting pain. “Are you ready, Ahsoka Tano?” “Yes, Captain.” She answers with a certainty that she can feel in her very bones, and is rewarded with the hint of a wry smile when he lets go. Well that’s...something. Master Kenobi clears his throat pointedly. Right. Mission briefing first. Sort out her feelings later. Still, she can’t help but look forward to whatever comes next. (A/N: *cracks knuckles* Well, that’s the first installment. A little vague on the details, but I’m hoping to elaborate on what’s been hinted at here relatively soon. The name of the supercommando company comes from the Legends novel Maul:Lockdown by Joe Schreiber. And yes, for fellow Rebels fans who are reading this thing: In this AU, Sabine and Tristan get three badass Zabrak-hybrid uncles and a fair amount of adopted cousins. (Which is entirely Savage’s doing.) I do believe that Anakin is a gifted mechanic, but also couldn’t resist the running joke of ‘Skywalker’s ships/anything he tinkers with only work for him and Artoo’. Cheers!)

#maulsoka #eventually #tbh this one is pretty gen aside from minor feral/rex and obi-wan failing his seduction roll #for like the hundredth time

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elliepassmore · 5 years ago

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Throne of Glass Review

5/5 stars Recommended for people who like: fantasy, strong female leads, multiple POVs, deadly competitions This is where Celaena's journey technically, 'actually' begins. Coming into ToG, it's a year after the end of Assassin's Bladeand Celaena is, miraculously, still alive. She's fetched by the Prince and Captain of the Guard and once more thrown face-to-face with the King of Adarlan and other people who would gladly kill her given the chance. I'm sensing a theme to Celaena's life here...might it be another Tuesday? UnlikeBlade, ToG is told from multiple 3rd person POVs, so we're able to get a broader view of the things going on during the events of the book. I think, reading it for the first, time without having readBlade first, you definitely have the ability to sympathize with most of the POVs....but coming fresh off of Blade, I couldn't help but feel defensive over Celaena. There's really a stark difference between how Sam treated her versus how Chaol, the Captain of the Guard, and even Dorian, the Prince, treat her. Perhaps obviously, I preferred Celaena's POV followed by Dorian's, then Chaol's, then Kaltain's (a courtier at the palace). Celaena's character definitely has a darker, sadder feel to her in this one (perhaps obviously). She's still ferocious, but there's also a part of her that's more doubtful than she was in Blade, which, considering the amount of care Maas puts into foreshadowing and other details, I'm going to take as an intentional change in Celaena's character. Never fear, though, she's still the same spoiled, luxury-loving, arrogant assassin we know from the prequel. Never one to falter, Celaena almost immediately gets back to training and rebuilding her strength, and we do get to see that progression. In the beginning, Celaena loses a sparring match to Chaol, at the end, she's able to hold her own in....less than favorable conditions against an opponent much stronger and more ruthless than Chaol. Reminisce of the prequel, that spark of Celaena that wants to get away from Rifthold and be free is back again, as well as the reckless and loyal sides of her. Perhaps it is the proximity to Adarlan's crown, but Celaena also has more Terrasen in her in this book. It was referenced multiple times in Blade, but I feel it's more prominent here and it lends itself to getting a bit more of Celaena's background. Dorian might be just as spoiled, if not more-so, as Celaena. Celaena might be in-your-face about it, but it's clear that while Dorian doesn't believe in what his father is doing to the rest of the continent, he's never really been face-to-face with it the way Celaena has (so perhaps we're talking about two different kinds of spoiled here). He makes the distinction from the beginning that he wants people to genuinely respect him and has little patience for the drama and back-stabbery of the court. It's clearly an attempt on Maas' part to make him a sympathetic part of the very despised nobility and, while there's plenty of room for it to fail, it actually comes off naturally on Dorian. He's a witty character, willing to take jabs at the people around him, but he also has a more sensitive side that knows when to back off and let things go. He also shows the ability to be bothered by the things that happen around him. He's often bored in his POVs, which can lead to being bored while reading them sometimes, but he makes up for it with his behavior in other peoples' POVs. I think I ended up liking his POV better than Chaol's, despite the moments when he's boring, is due to how much he's consistently nicer to our main character than Chaol is. Chaol is the Captain of the Guard and Dorian's best friend, soof course, he's going to be snippy and wary of Celaena, but there are times when he's just downright mean to her. If Dorian is spoiled because he's never been fully faced with the consequences of his father's regime, then Chaol can only be purposefully ignorant of the implications of following the King of Adarlan's commands with little more than blind commitment to duty. Chaol used to be one of my favorite characters, but as I've grown and had time to read other books and reread this series, the more I find myself just turned off by his behavior. Yes, Celaena's a notorious assassin, but she's also a teenager who's fresh out of a death camp, cut her a little slack. He does have some genuinely nice and funny moments, though, which start to redeem his character a little. Kaltain was just a pain in the ass to read and I don't recall ever really liking her character. That being said, now that it's been a couple years, I can appreciate that Maas included her as a character with a POV. One the one hand, Kaltain gives us a view of who's plotting against Celaena and gives plenty of foreshadowing for things to come. Kaltain also has access to speak to characters that some of the others don't. On the other hand, and at a deeper level, Kaltain acts as a world-builder. It's easy to write off Kaltain's interest in Dorian as a vain grab for power, but I think it represents more than that. It's a way to show how girls in Adarlan, perhaps specifically girls in nobility, have little ability to determine their own futures. Katlain's interest in Dorian doesn't simply stem from vanity, but from a desire to have power--over herself, over or for her friends, and potentially over the people who wronger her. From the way I read it, Kaltain desperately wants to change her situation and her station. Maybe it is all vanity and shallowness on her part, but a part of me believes her actions are because she feels stuck with her role in life and the people she's been surrounded by have taught by example that manipulating and clawing your way into the top position is not only the way to gain power, but also the way to gain followers and admiration. I really like Nehemia's character. Like Celaena, Nehemia is from a country that's been conquered by the King of Adarlan. Unlike Celaena, Nehemia is in a position to help her people and country. She clearly cares about her people and wants them to be free from Adarlan's rule. She's a princess with a plan, even if the entire thing isn't totally clear yet. From her introduction, you can tell Nehemia's wildfire. She speaks Eyllwe and talks about people to their faces, benefitting from the fact that nearly everyone solely knows the common tongue (which, surprise surprise, is not Eyllwe), and she has no issues flaunting orders (again, no surprise considering she's a princess). I do wish we got to see more scenes of her sparring, I would've enjoyed seeing her whoop Dorian's ass. I like that she befriends Celaena and doesn't mind that Celaena cannot tell her the full truth about things. I really liked Philippa too. She's a little gruff at first, but I think Celaena needs someone to be a bit gruff with her on occasion. Besides, Philippa is more of a motherly-gruff toward Celaena than anything else. I thought she also had quite a few funny lines and more than enough steel in her spine to protect Celaena if need be and to aid in any debauchery...well, to an extent. In terms of romantic relationships...I'm skeptical of all of them, to be honest, but I'm especially skeptical at the beginning signs of Chaol's. When I first read the series, I liked the idea of Celaena and Chaol together, but the two times (one and a quarter times?) I've reread the series since, I can't help but dislike Chaol's interactions with Celaena. As mentioned above, neither Dorian nor Chaol treat her anywhere close to the way Sam does. Obviously, they're different people with different ways of expressing things, but Sam acted like Celaena truly brought him joy, never acted truly afraid of her, and never had qualms about accepting who she was or what she did in the past. The key with Sam is that he trusted her, but he also respected her and more-so, he respected her decisions. Never while reading ToG can I say I felt Chaol or Dorian came anywhere near any of those points. Chaol definitely doesn't accept who she is or what she's done, he doesn't trust her, he doesn't even entirely respect her, while he never fully shows it, I don't think he's unafraid of her either, and while there are moments when Celaena makes him happy, I don't think she brings him joy, or vice versa. Dorian's a bit closer to Sam, I'll admit. Celaena makes him happy, and I think he respects and tentatively trusts her, but the trust definitely isn't all the way there, and I think, despite his acceptance of her now, he still has qualms about what she's done in the past. On the flip side, I can say with confidence that neither Chaol nor Dorian bring Celaena anywhere close to that light, chest-bursting feeling she had with Sam, even if she does find them both attractive. Plot-wise, I enjoyed the idea of a competition, but I wish we got to see more of it. I think we get to see five of the total 13 events, plus the duel at the end. Since the competition was one of the main driving forces behind Celaena's motivation, as well as of the plot, I think we should've been able to see more of the events, more of the training, and more of the competitors. I think seeing more of the training could also have helped with character and relationship development some. From other books I've read, I can say that watching a character train, especially if they're training with someone, is a good metaphor for the character's arc--as they get physically stronger, their arc/development also grows 'stronger'--and when that training is with someone else, it creates a kind of intimacy between those two characters since the one has helped build the other up (and because of the amount of alone time training requires). In view of the larger series, I think this first book sets the stage pretty well. The whole thing's very action packed and has a clearly defined arc and goal, but it leaves enough paths open that they can be revisited again later on to help move the series forward. *BONUS* The Captain and the Prince 4/5 stars My paperback copy of ToG has a scene at the end of it between Chaol and Dorian before they go to fetch Celaena. It's pretty short, only a couple of pages, but it's technically part of the readable canon so... Despite the scene being so short, it definitely characterizes Dorian a great deal. We get to see his impatience with court, his disdain for his father, and his burgeoning desire to get out from under his father's yoke. I actually think we get a pretty good characterization of Chaol here too. He's cautious and protective, but he doesn't altogether shut Dorian down. He might be nicer here than he is in most of the book, to be honest. The scene also sets a decent stage for Dorian and Chaol's relationship as well. We get to see that Dorian is most definitely the impulsive one, but that he does think back on his previous reckless decisions and learn from them. At the same time, we get to see that Chaol is the more cautious one, but that he's willing to bend a little to make his friend happy and to get a bit of freedom himself. I think it's a decent short to read before starting ToG, and the dropped star has more to do with what my gut is saying than with any concrete evidence I can dredge up for an explanation.

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captainwhogotthecanary · 6 years ago

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ClexaCon: Day 1

Okay, Let me attempt to do something like organize my thoughts here. Photos will come later, ones that come at all; mostly there are professional photos, videos, and gifs available of the noteworthy moments, and I intend to reblog a lot of those later. In the meantime, my photos are on my phone, and the Tumblr app is eating anything I attempt to post with photos.

So. I’m going to try to do this chronologically because it’s how I tried to organize my brain, and I feel clearer than I have in a while. Panel titles or events in bold. Fandom and personal stuff is included, multishipping probably rampant because I just want my faves happy, alright???

Under the cut because long. Day 1 only because long, and because by time I got near the end of typing this, it was after midnight and I was getting less coherent.

Exploring Gender through Cosplay

As often as I cosplay, mine are fairly casual, and I’d never actually gotten a good chance to attend a cosplay panel of any sort with a clear mind. This was pretty awesome, all the different things you can do to change not only the costume but also your appearance, really make the cosplay work. A lot of the sentiment/message besides the practical application stuff was just “have fun, don’t be an ass, think about the character.” All good advice.

One of the panelists was visibly uncomfortable with his cosplay during the panel. It was understandable, but he looked great anyway and still gave great information and asides and personal experiences, and I’d love to see him do a panel where he’s more comfortable.

One Day at a Time

Okay, so one of the things I LOVE about this con and haven’t seen at the couple others I’ve been to is the intro videos. For each of the big panels, they’ve played a video beforehand, about the pairing or the character. If you’re rusty on the details, it’s a great refresher, and if you love the character or pairing, it’s just fantastic to watch. I believe they included these and the actress reactions in the official videos they’ve been posting. They’re great, super shippy, and I’ve teared up or cried at more than one.

ODAAT is one of the ones that made me teary, because it touched on Elena and her Papi and then how happy she and Syd are and just...

Emotions, y’all. I’ve got them.

Anyway, it was great. Isabella seemed pretty comfortable speaking, very aware of her presence and her platform. Sheridan was a little more like Syd, a little awkward and a lot geeky (like most of my favorite people, let’s be real). My takeaways from this panel were basically just that they both love Schnider and working with his actor, and that I ship Syd and Elena even harder now.

An executive producer got a call during the panel, and Isabella thought maybe it was about being picked up by a different network, but it ended up being Rita Moreno calling in, which was fantastic except how disappointed Isabella was. Not that she was unprofessional or pouty or anything, just there were a few moments of almost being able to FEEL how much this cast wants the show to keep going, and how much they love each other.

Avalance

Omg. I mean, okay, if you’re following me, you should probably go watch both Avalance and Nyssara panel videos. They’ll do a much better job of relaying anything factual than I will, so I’m mostly focusing on my reactions.

My reactions started with that damned intro vid, because holy hell, Sara and Ava are hot, and have awesome chemistry, and they’re both smart and strong and amazing and I am so, so, so not straight.

Uh. Where was I.

Highlights for me, in no particular order.

Okay, usually celebs look like people in real life, like real people or like their characters. Caity Lotz is MORE attractive in person than she is on tv. HOW THE FUCK IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE

Jes is kinda amazing as a person and actress and I intend to watch everything she’s in after this weekend. She cares deeply, which I know she shares with Ava, but unlike Ava who hides behind the professional shield, Jes just seemed so warm and real and disbelieving of how much people like her. She was having a very emotional day because she’d lost someone she cared about, and when she shared that, I doubt there was a dry eye in the room. The depth of her feeling was almost palpable.

Jes kept reaching out and touching Caity, who was much more physically reserved just in general. Caity is very obviously more familiar with the con circuit, which doesn’t mean she doesn’t care or anything! Just, how many of these could any living person do while still caring deeply and genuinely about every person they talk to? I suspect people have to distance themselves some eventually. Caity wasn’t cold, just more reserved.

Katrina interrupting was the best thing ever. It’s been giffed already. Go find it.

I loved hearing about the tango, about navigating a situation where there are two women who naturally want to take the lead. The lines blurred between where they were talking about themselves as actresses navigating a scene and their characters as people navigating a relationship, and it felt very real and lovely. Hilarious, too, because of course everyone in the Arrowverse (excuse me, Beeboverse) is gorgeous AND smart AND funny.

I’m glad they’re not really broken up I guess? The actresses seemed a little unsure because they filmed a lot of different takes with some differing implications, but they’re not on board with the “on again, off again” thing any more than I am, which is good. On is good.

End of the panel, people sitting behind us (oh! chronological order! I made a friend waiting in line for the ODAAT panel and we’ve mostly stuck together this weekend. She’s not LGBT and hasn’t watched any of the shows but she loves PEOPLE and is trying to learn and has had a lot of cool life experiences. Anyway. If I say “we” or “us” I probably mean me and friend, unless otherwise specified.)

Uh. Right. So. The people sitting behind us were like, “Hey, do you two want tickets to Cocktails for Change?” At first I thought she was trying to sell them, and I already knew I couldn’t afford that, just like I couldn’t afford the Caity/Jes/Katrina photo op I wanted (not complaint, just statement of fact! I got to go and I got to buy the photo op with Caity and I got a hotel room for a couple nights). Then she clarifies that she and her person (I’m gonna go with that when relationship isn’t clear. But oh, the number of happy wlw couples there was just amazing, and at some point I defaulted to assuming anyone there together was together, which wasn’t accurate, but it’s what I was seeing and delighting in and WE NEED MORE REPRESENTATION and omg keep a single train of thought, Kita). The two of them had bought two extra tickets they couldn’t use, couldn’t refund, and hadn’t been able to sell, so they were offering them to us so that somebody would enjoy them.

OMG. Like, who does that? What level of awesomeness to gift two separate $250 tickets to complete strangers??

I helped friend navigate the transfer process and helped her create an eventbrite account, and then we had the tickets, at which point I actually believe it was happening. And then AND THEN

Because clearly that wasn’t enough

they said “oh, we can’t make the trio photo op today, do you want it?”

Do I

DO I

I still can’t believe they were for real, with that level of awesome. I checked like probably way too many times to make sure they were SURE because

yeah. Made my entire year, at minimum.

Photo Ops

Got the photo op with Caity first. I’ll do pics separately after I scan them; they’re particularly glossy or something and my cell phone is doing a horrible job. So I go in dressed in my femme Snart cosplay, have enough presence of mind to ask (or point? I may have only managed pointing) to stand on her right side because I wanted to be able to hold the cold gun in my right hand.

“Hey, Cold,” she said to me.

HEY COLD

SHE RECOGNIZED WHO I WAS DRESSED AS OMGGGGGG

and did I mention fucking gorgeous beyond belief and amazing to boot?

Anyway. She’s also smiling much bigger in my pic with just her than in the next one, when I didn’t have my gun, and I like to think it’s because she still thinks fondly of snart. Captain canary 4eva. Another thing on Saturday I’ll get to in my next post, equally small but equally “omg yessss she still ships it” to my mildly obsessed brain.

Obviously, after they took the pic, I walked blindly in the wrong direction and would’ve walked smack into the makeshift wall if the volunteers hadn’t steered me in the right direction. I don’t usually get star struck, but if it was going to happen, it was going to be with Caity Lotz, so it wasn’t actually a surprise.

Round two, trio photo, and I ended up between Caity and Katrina, who draped herself on my shoulder as she often does for pics. I’ll get to Katrina more for Day 2, but she just seemed very at ease, maybe the most comfortable person in any given room.

After photo ops I practically ran back to my car while still trying to recover, checked into and got settled into my hotel room, changed shoes (omg, as good as those boots are for a couple hours, after ten hours and two miles and lots of standing, my feet STILL hurt day+ later), and then headed back to the venue.

Cocktails for Change

So this was cool just to exist in a room with the celebrities (the theory behind the event and the price tag being you get to interact). We (friend and the people who gave us the tickets and a 5th potential friend we picked up while waiting in line) got to talk to an actress from Wynona (which I apparently badly need to watch. my to-watch list doubled this weekend), and then friend got Jes to agree to come over. That made me love Jes even more because her handlers kept trying to get her to go a different direction after she talked to one table for like half of the time, and Jes pointed at our table, strong and confident and I AM DOING THIS BECAUSE I SAID I WOULD.

I mean, idk what she actually said, but that was her not-subtle body language.

It had to be terribly frustrating for the handlers, who, even though they only got her to three tables total, did a better job with her than they did with most of the celebs. However, I wanted to applaud Jes.

Most of the celebs kept to themselves, or to their partners. Dot was like 5 feet from me for a good 20 minutes, and my inner gleek was ecstatic. Amber Benson was only a few feet farther for about the same amount of time. For her, I actually tried to go say hi, but she was absorbed in conversation with someone else and I didn’t want to interrupt. We made eye contact, though, so that was cool. Katrina, meanwhile, kinda starting circling and then was just like “Nah,” and she went and sprawled on a chair at the side of the room, again the most comfortable looking person there, and just let everyone come to her. Which, honestly, probably would be my recommendation if they change things for this event next year. Clearly, steering the talent to different tables isn’t working, so maybe steer the attendees instead.

Still, it was awesome, and I went back to my room and freaked out about OMG HOW IS MY LIFE THIS AWESOME before crashing hard.

Which I’m gonna do again now. Day 2 post tomorrowish.

#clexacon 2019 #clexacon diaries #about me #about awesome people #long post

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pass-the-bechdel · 6 years ago

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Marvel Cinematic Universe: Captain America: The First Avenger (2011)

Does it pass the Bechdel Test?

No.

How many female characters (with names and lines) are there?

One (7.69% of cast).

How many male characters (with names and lines) are there?

Twelve.

Positive Content Rating:

Three.

General Film Quality:

Excellent! Full of as much heart as action, the film takes on the complicated task of delivering a Captain America for the modern world, avoiding jingoism while also acknowledging the origins which brought the comic-book hero into being. Against the odds (and my personal expectations), it is a sound success, and I consider it easily the best of the Marvel franchise’s early films.

MORE INFO (and potential spoilers) UNDER THE CUT:

Passing the Bechdel:

Obviously, that didn’t happen.

Female characters:

Peggy Carter.

Male characters:

Johann Schmidt.

Steve Rogers.

James ‘Bucky’ Barnes.

Howard Stark.

Abraham Erskine.

Arnim Zola.

Gilmore Hodge.

Chester Phillips.

Brandt.

Fred Clemson.

Timothy Dugan.

Nick Fury.

OTHER NOTES:

I’m mad about the Hydra symbol being the coolest insignia in this franchise. I would wear the heck outta some Hydra merchandise, if it weren’t for the, y’know, evil Nazi fascism stuff.

I love little Steve. They pulled that off so well.

I don’t love that Peggy’s introduction revolves around her being disrespected by a guy and then knocking him on his ass. It feels far too prescribed, too Strong Woman Cliche, so expected as to be rendered essentially meaningless. It implies that these are the most important things about the character - she’s a woman and she’s tough - and it panders to the sexist perspective by requiring Peggy to ‘prove herself’ upon arrival in a traditionally-masculinised way. They could have handled this introduction much better.

Man. This movie has such a good cast. The goodness of this cast has no chill.

“So many people forget that the first country that the Nazis invaded was their own.” This the good shit.

“Go get him! I can swim.” Snort.

Sometimes, when I can’t sleep, ‘Star Spangled Man’ plays over and over again in my head. That’s probably why I can’t sleep.

“Do you...fondue?”

The thing where someone gets hit and they fly off-screen in an exaggerated fashion is never not funny to me.

Characters surviving explosions without a scratch, however, is never not rubbish to me.

A super-soldier is never late, Peggy Carter, nor is he early; he arrives precisely when he means to.

Steve really isn’t very precious about choosing his team: they’re all just Bucky’s friends. He basically just went “ok, show of hands, who loves Bucky Barnes? Good, you guys are with me”. I mean, it’s solid reasoning - he trusts Bucky, and these guys have Bucky’s endorsement, and that’s good enough for Steve. I note that only one of the other guys on the team besides Steve and Bucky is a white American - the other guys are a black American and an Asian-American (and I see you there, recognition of racism against Japanese-Americans which led to their incarceration during the war, etc.), and then there’s a French dude and a Brit. That’s Captain America’s elite team: not all-American, and racially inclusive. I DIG that subtext.

*hisses* why is this whole Natalie-Dormer-mackin’-on-Steve thing even here? It’s a useless contrivance, plus I am extremely displeased at having Peggy being so petty in her jealousy that she actually fires a loaded gun straight at Steve. I sure hope she heard Howard’s explanation about the properties of the vibranium shield, or that she already knew them, because otherwise this is completely outrageous, but even then: what if the shield hadn’t performed as advertised? What if a bullet ricocheted and hit someone else? This is such a dangerous thing to do, and did I mention it is in service of a useless contrivance anyway? Peggy deserves better writing.

Lemme tell ya straight up: I thought I was gonna hate this movie. I mean...it’s Captain America. I expected cloying patriotism, a blandly self-righteous hero, probably some good ol’ war glorification as well. What we got instead was a film that barely even mentioned the good ol’ USA outside of the (explicitly recognised as) propaganda rigmarole that Captain America slogs through - a tool used to excellent effect to acknowledge the character’s history (the comic was created as propaganda during WWII in real life) while also carrying through the idea that what Captain America stands for is something far grander than nationalist fervour - and Steve himself is imbued with unassuming charm, fueled by the strength of his personal convictions but never forcing those convictions upon others in a show of moral grand-standing: an essential facet of the character is that he’ll pursue what he believes to be right regardless of whether anyone else follows him, and he accepts that there are consequences to his actions; he never props himself up with holier-than-thou declarations, he never shames anyone for disagreeing with him, and he never claims any kind of superiority over others (an important distinction when you’re juxtaposed with a Nazi Ubermensch villain). Other characters are inspired by Steve, but the film wisely never positions them as if they were weak or wavering without the symbol of Captain America to unite them: the war is a grindhouse, and they know the only way out is through. No one is fighting because they perceive battle as a great and noble cause, nor because they are righteously empowered; they fight because their enemy is too terrible to let pass, and there is no room for glory in that.

I can (and will) still quibble about the representation of war in the film: while the fact that it is sparingly shown does help to avoid the glorification of violence and death in battle, it also undersells the horror of war, which runs the risk of looping back around to glorification by making it all into fun skirmishes with faceless goons and glow-weapons. Additionally, Captain America clashes exclusively with Hydra and its operatives; while Red Skull severs his ties with Hitler early on through the welcome disintegration of a few Nazi representatives, the film cannot entirely distance itself from Hitler’s legacy (which Red Skull actively takes on for himself), and I take long-standing issue with anything which uses Nazis as an evil catch-all but fails to acknowledge and respect the victims of their reign. After Steve’s heroic nose-dive in the Valkyrie ends Hydra’s campaign, the film cuts to celebrations of the end of the war; they don’t actually state that it was Captain America who just defeated the Nazis by taking down Red Skull (despite the fact that Hydra’s soldiers with their fancy tech and also, um, actual-Hitler and his armies, are all still out there), but the implication is there, and it feels a mite bit insensitive, to say the least. I do think it is better that Steve has his own corner of the war to fight, rather than taking on the whole thing and battling actual-Hitler in the end (now THAT would be insensitive), but I do wish that the destruction and evil of the war at large were the backdrop of the film, rather than the comparatively sanitised Hydra operation that we see.

In this context, the weight of the war and the toll that it takes on the psyche of those suffering through it is carried almost exclusively by Bucky Barnes, who emerges from the unseen tortures of a Hydra work camp changed, his buoyant enthusiasm from the beginning of the film subdued, locked up behind the shattered look in his eyes and the fragile way he carries himself, determined to see this thing through to the end so that he can fall apart later, if he makes it that far (he doesn’t). Fandom has made much of Sebastian Stan’s understated performance, and with good reason: despite a minimal number of scenes there is a richness of detail in Bucky’s character, and as the emotional sinking ground for tragedy - both as the personification of the war’s devastation, and as a personal loss for Steve Rogers - Bucky’s narrative importance belies the amount of time dedicated to him in-text. Fandom has also made a strong point - with which I agree entirely and for which I will not pretend to take unique credit for noticing - that despite expectation, Bucky’s archetypal function in the film is not as the Hero’s Sidekick; he is, in actuality, fulfilling the cliche of the Love Interest, not in competition with Peggy Carter but instead of; Peggy, likewise, is not an archetypal Love Interest at all, because she’s the Hero’s Sidekick.

I am entirely of the opinion that this is an essential part of what makes Peggy - the sole named female character in town - work out so well, against the odds. As Steve’s sidekick, Peggy’s primary functions are to support him and give him advice; the sidekick is traditionally a rational role, someone who keeps the hero grounded and helps them to make the right choices, especially when they are emotionally conflicted. The Love Interest compels the hero’s emotions, sometimes (often) framed as driving them to acts of recklessness, to joyous heights, and depressive lows. Bucky is Steve’s damsel in distress; Steve is compelled to act when he learns that Bucky has been captured by the enemy, action which is tempered and assisted by Peggy’s influence and which ultimately brings Captain America out of propaganda mode to practice what he has preached, and be the soldier Steve always hoped to be. When Bucky falls, Peggy is there to talk to Steve, as a friend, and help him stop wallowing and concentrate his grief into the resolve which carries him through the climactic confrontations of the film’s final act. I’m not going to argue that Steve wanted to join the army just to be with Bucky (presumably that was a factor to some extent, but to call it the primary motivator would be to ignore the value set which made Steve into Captain America in the first place), nor that he was willing to sacrifice himself in the end because Bucky was gone (Steve’s mourning for Bucky certainly played a role in his mental state at the time, but ultimately, bringing down the Valkyrie was a practical choice, not an emotional one), but undeniably, Bucky was either integrally or tangentially attached to all of Steve’s major decisions across the film, as is common for a Love Interest, whereas Peggy consistently filled a support-and-guidance role, as any good sidekick should.

This is not to imply, by any measure, that Peggy can’t or shouldn’t be seen as a viable (lower case) love interest (or that Bucky’s time as a hero’s sidekick somehow doesn’t count as what it is); actually, I think that both character’s relationships with Steve benefit from being framed in this switched fashion. Bucky’s lifelong friendship with Steve comes across stronger and more meaningful due to the emotional pitch, allowing it to resonate as something deeply significant to Steve despite the limited exposure we have to it in action - extra important considering that Bucky is also fulfilling that sacrificial-character role. For Peggy, the fact that she is presented as a love interest but coded as a Hero’s Sidekick is even more important in its effect: since she is the only woman around, we have been taught by approximately All Media Ever to perceive her as the Love Interest from the second she steps on screen, and with that perception we are also encouraged to devalue her character as essentially existing for no other purpose than to be an attractive female prize for the Manly Male Hero to win by story’s end. By reinforcing Peggy as a friend to Steve, we subvert the expectation that she has no real function and/or that her personality is irrelevant, because narrative coding has taught us that sidekicks (almost exclusively male) matter, they have things to say and their influence on the hero is meaningful. Whether they are stalwart sidekicks, or bumbling fools, comedic, or secretly-insidious, a sidekick should be noted, because they’re a lot more likely to have something plot-relevant going on than a boring old Love Interest. Being presented as a helpful, sympathetic presence in Steve’s life who also Has Her Own Shit Going On allows Peggy to meet Steve on more even ground, and her interactions with him are not built around being romantically or sexually available: by having a working relationship built on a foundation of understanding friendship rather than attractive chemistry, the development of feelings between the characters comes across more as extraneous and organic, rather than a prescribed cliche. It still is a prescribed cliche, but it’s not one that compels Steve to do dumb stuff or that undermines Peggy’s relevance as a person in her own right, and that makes it a much more palatable romance than what we usually get.

This is also why that idiotic ~jealousy~ contrivance I flagged earlier is so out of place - I mean, it’s out of place because it’s idiotic, it has no impact on the story in any way and its an insult to the characters and I don’t know why it exists or why they kept it in the final cut of the film because it’s asinine rubbish, but it’s also out of place because it approaches Peggy as a Love Interest, scorned and emotionally lashing out, an attempt to generate Love Interest drama where it has no place in the movie, for the characters as the people that they are, with the established dynamic that they have, or in the context of their situation. Throwing a misunderstanding and some hurt feelings on top of a relationship which has worked refreshingly well thus far because of the honest and open conversations the characters have shared is utterly tone-deaf, and it’s one black mark on what is otherwise a shockingly strong and tonally-consistent film. She may be all alone in the movie, but I will happily argue that Peggy is the best, most-rounded female character in the MCU at this early stage, and she’s playing across from an eminently worthy leading man in Chris Evans’ charmingly-sincere Steve Rogers. The supporting cast is there - Seb Stan, of course, but also Stanley Tucci! Tommy Lee Jones! HUGO WEAVING! - being wonderful and engaging across the board, and there are no weak links (except Natalie Dormer, but that’s not her fault, and at least the misstep is brief and POINTLESS so that it doesn’t taint the rest of the film). Captain America: The First Avenger may not be absolutely perfect - nothing is - but it is a great ride, sometimes surprisingly nuanced, sometimes intriguingly subversive even while it plays straight with the expectations of its genre. I went into my first viewing of the film just hoping it wouldn’t make me mad, and I gotta tell ya: I ain’t mad at all. As far as I’m concerned, this is the platonic ideal of superhero films.

#Captain America: The First Avenger #MCU #Marvel Cinematic Universe #Bechdel Test #female representation

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phantom-le6 · 4 years ago

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Episode Reviews - Star Trek: The Next Generation Season 5 (3 of 6)

Carrying on with our series of reviews for episodes of Star Trek: The Next Generation, here’s a third instalment of episodes from the show’s fifth season.

Episode 11: Hero Worship

Plot (as given by me):

The Enterprise is sent to locate a research ship called the Vico and locates the vessel adrift just outside the Black Cluster, the region the Vico had been assigned to explore. The ship is heavily damaged, and Commander Riker leads Lt. Commanders Data and La Forge on an away mission to recover all logs from the ship’s computer. Having previously detected no life signs from the Enterprise, the away team is surprised when they find a young boy named Timothy is still alive aboard the Vico, albeit trapped by debris.

As the debris and hull plating around the room where Timothy is trapped blocks transport, Data surmises that through his android strength, he can lift the debris to free the boy. However, this would cause imminent structural collapse, so Riker and La Forge beam back first, giving Data the time and freedom to move the debris and get Timothy to the corridor. The pair are beamed directly to sick bay, where Timothy claims the ship was attacked. Some initial evidence seems to support this, as the gravitational wave-fronts inside the Black Cluster would hamper sensor effectiveness, and the damage is consistent with disruptor-style weaponry and Breen combat tactics.

However, La Forge notes the evidence is inconsistent with Timothy’s story about the ship being boarded, and Counsellor Troi suggests the boy could be repressing the true events due to trauma; as he processes what happens, he may volunteer the truth of his own accord. Troi asks Data to help, as Timothy seems to have bonded with his rescuer. Data agrees, and when Timothy learns Data is incapable of feeling emotion, he begins to pretend he is also an android, emulating Data’s mannerisms and pretending to have no emotions either. Troi explains to Captain Picard that Timothy will only assume the android persona until he feels emotionally strong enough to do without it, and that they should encourage it to help the boy along. Picard orders Data to help Timothy “be the best android he can possibly be.”

As Data helps Timothy, the Enterprise enters the Black Cluster to investigate further what happened to the Vico. Sensor reflections and a refraction effect when the ship’s phasers are fired quickly reveals that the Vico could not have been attacked as Timothy described. The boy is brought to the Captain’s Ready Room, where he claims he’d caused the ship’s destruction by accidentally hitting a control panel. Picard, Data and Troi all explain that the control consoles on all starships are designed to require a user code before the controls can do anything. Because of this, Timothy could not have accidentally affected anything on the Vico, and as such the truth of what happened to that ship is still unexplained.

The discussion is interrupted by the increasing gravitational waves, which are growing in intensity and battering the Enterprise. Timothy’s recollections of what happened on the Vico give Data an idea, and he swiftly determines the cause and solution of the problem. Data urges Picard to lower the shields, and Picard obeys, which causes the growing gravitational wavefronts to dissipate. Apparently, Timothy’s recollections enabled Data to theorise that both the Vico and the Enterprise experienced a harmonic amplification effect; the more power that each ship put into their shields, the worse the gravitational wavefronts became, resulting in the Vico’s destruction. The Enterprise leaves the Black Cluster, and Timothy remains friends with Data even after abandoning his android persona.

Review:

For me, this episode is a very good episode, but it’s also very mis-titled. When the boy Data rescues begins emulating him, that’s not an ‘oh wow, this guy is so cool, I want to be just like him’ reaction. If it was, then the episode title would make sense. What he’s actually doing is thinking ‘ok, I feel bad because my parents are dead and I think it’s my fault, so I’ll pretend to be this emotionless robotic being so I can avoid that pain.’ That’s not hero worship, that’s a form of demand avoidance, albeit in this case avoiding dealing the emotions of a traumatic event rather than an activity of some kind. It’s an interesting idea to explore, don’t get me wrong, but I think the episode needed a title that was a bit more on-target; something like “trauma” or “mistaken guilt” would have worked better. It’s also interesting to see Data be emulated rather than doing the emulating for once, while at the same time Troi gets a chance to do really well as ship’s counsellor and co-own this episode with Data.

Timothy’s mistaken belief that he is responsible for what happens to his ship is also a great example of a fallacy of reasoning that was the title of an early episode of later drama series The West Wing. That flawed reasoning is post hoc, ergo proctor hoc, or translated to English, after it, therefore because of it. The reasoning assumes that if one event occurs after another event, it was cause by that preceding event. However, this reasoning is highly flawed, often because the true cause is often harder to find and overlooked. In this case, Timothy assumes that because his hand hit a control panel just before his ship was destroyed, he was responsible, but had he been more well-versed in starship operations, he would have known his actions couldn’t possibly have been responsible.

It’s a method of reasoning politicians will often trick members of the public into using when those politicians have screwed something up and don’t want to take the blame. Too much money going out in benefits? Blame immigrants rather than the uber-wealthy who fail to cough up their fair share of tax money through loopholes in tax law. Too much crime? Blame addicts despite the fact that a) politicians cut spending on police forces, b) they also cut funds to education that could help steer young people away from gang and drug culture, and c) addiction is a medical issue and our NHS is also being targeted by cut-happy politicians. As with the case of Timothy in this episode, such real-world examples of this kind of reasoning are counter-productive; only when you bother to look at the actual cause of a problem instead of the assumed cause and find an actual solution is the problem solved. Too bad that in real-life, no one in charge of solving problems actually wants to do so. For me, this episode gets 9 out of 10; with a better title, I’d have given it full marks.

Episode 12: Violations

Plot (as adapted from Wikipedia):

The Enterprise conveys a delegation of Ullians to Calder IV. Tarmin, their leader, explains that Ullians are telepathic historians who conduct their research by retrieving long forgotten memories, and demonstrating this on volunteers by helping Keiko O'Brien recall a lost childhood memory, and revealing Dr Crusher is thinking about her first kiss. Tarmin continues to explain their abilities that require years of training, and his son Jev, also part of the delegation, has not yet reached his potential. Jev is upset at this implication and leaves. Counsellor Troi follows and talks to him, pointing out that her own mother is also quite overbearing. After finding a common bond, Troi leaves for her quarters. While there, she recalls a romantic interlude with Commander Riker, but as the memory gets more intense, Riker begins to assault Deanna, ignoring Deanna's screams of "No!". Suddenly, Riker is replaced by Jev. Troi screams out in pain and collapses, later to be found in a coma.

Riker speaks to Jev as the last person seen talking to Troi, and asks if he would submit to medical tests to make sure the Ullians do not carry any harmful toxins or pathogens. Jev agrees, but later Riker suffers from a similar flashback and also collapses. Dr Crusher's tests reveal nothing, but her scans of Troi and Riker show an electropathic activity typical of a rare neurological disorder, Iresine Syndrome. However, the doctor rules this out as the disorder would produce a low histamine count, and the counts for Troi and Riker are normal. Captain Picard asks the Ullians if they would allow for further scanning, which Tarmin agrees to. None of the Ullians, nor any of their volunteers during the demonstration, show this disorder. Later, Dr Crusher succumbs to a similar flashback, and Picard asks Lt. Commanders Data and La Forge to continue the investigation. Following Dr Crusher's research, Geordi looks to other cases of Iresine Syndrome in Federation records, eventually discovering two that occurred on Hurada III while a Ullian delegation was present. Picard requests the Ullians to confine themselves to quarters until they resolve the issue.

Troi wakes from her coma, and when news of this arrives to Jev, he requests to help probe Troi's mind to find out what happened. Picard allows it, and with Jev's help, Troi recounts the memory, ending with the replacement of Riker by Tarmin. Jev asserts that for his people, forcefully inserting oneself into a memory is a crime, and contacts his homeworld to let them know of Tarmin's crime. As they near their destination, Jev comes to say goodbye to Troi, apologizing for his father. When Troi offers sympathy, Jev engages another mind probe, causing the same memory to occur for Troi. Just then, security personnel arrive and take Jev into custody; Data and La Forge had discovered two additional instances of unexplained comas on Nel III, and that Tarmin was on his home planet at that time. As the Enterprise sets course for the Ullian homeworld, Tarmin is cleared, and Riker and Dr Crusher recover from their comas.

Review:

This is a much better stab at tackling the issue of rape than I’ve seen many shows do, and it certainly helps the show redeem the insensitivity with which the same issue is handled back in the second season opening episode “The Child”. Granted, it’s all done psychically rather than physically, and one could perhaps argue that this makes the episode very strictly metaphoric, but I disagree. Granted, in the real world telepathy does not exist, but through the application of various tools of mental manipulation in unethical manners, it could well be possible to trick victims into situations where they are subject to mental abuse that could be the psychological equivalent of rape.

It’s also great to see that this episode acknowledges the act of rape for what it is, namely a form of violence. Because rape is sometimes also known as sexual assault, many are given the misconception that rape is still somehow a sexual act. It’s not; sex is about mutual pleasure, either for its own sake or as an expression of romantic love. Rape is about violence, about the misapplication of a need for control/domination through the victimisation of others. In addition, Riker’s taken down by this psychic rape analogue along with Troi and Crusher, which highlights that it’s not just women who can be rape victims, while at the same time still keeping women as the majority of the victims in line with the reality of the issue.

The only real issue I have with the episode is that we as an audience know who the rapist is right from the teaser at the earliest, and from the first attack at the latest. The look on Jev’s face just before the opening title sequence roles betrays the rapist lurking within, and his face shows up in every single memory invasion. As a result, it’s hard to buy into Jev’s claim that his father is supposed to be the psychic rapist; the earlier scenes where Tarmin is being outwardly pushy aren’t enough for me to buy that alternate explanation, and the reveal is too soon within the run-time to be the solution. Overall, I give this episode 8 out of 10.

Episode 13: The Masterpiece Society

Plot (as adapted from Wikipedia):

The Enterprise has been assigned to the Moab sector to track a stellar core fragment from a disintegrated Neutron star. They find the fragment is due to pass near Moab IV, threatening a human colony on the planet. On contacting the colony to arrange for evacuation, its leader Aaron Conor refuses, though allows an away team down to discuss the matter. Conor explains that the colony was formed 200 years prior to create a perfect society using genetic engineering and selective breeding, and he and the other leaders feel that evacuation would destroy the perfect order they have achieved. They discuss other alternatives and Enterprise Chief Engineer Geordi La Forge is introduced to Hannah Bates, the colony’s lead scientist in theoretical physics. Bates proposes using a multi-phase tractor beam, powered by the Enterprise's warp core, to push the fragment from its path, which La Forge agrees would be a possible solution. After some deliberation, Bates is allowed to leave the colony to the Enterprise to oversee the process. Meanwhile, Deanna Troi and Conor start to develop a romantic attraction as they try to convince the other leaders that evacuation is the best option.

Aboard the Enterprise, Bates' solution is found to be effective, but the equipment required is damaged too quickly to be used. La Forge recognizes her solution could be augmented with similar technology that enables his VISOR to operate, allowing the equipment to last long enough to manipulate the fragment safely away from Moab IV. La Forge comments that this solution wouldn't be possible in the current colony's manner of perfection as “imperfections” like blindness would have been outright eliminated. As they continue simulations, they find that the solution is not perfect, but La Forge suggests that they reinforce the colony's shielding during the fragment's passing, allowing the colony to survive the fragment's passage. Conor initially refuses as this would require more Enterprise personnel to transport to the colony, and he fears cultural contamination, but relents when Troi convinces him this is the only solution. The Enterprise is able to push the fragment far enough that the colony appears to be safe.

As the other Enterprise crew return to the ship, La Forge and Bates check on the status of the colony shielding. Bates reports there are microfractures that will soon fail, and recommends full evacuation. La Forge, having not seen these on his VISOR, recognizes that Bates falsified the readings, as she wishes to leave with the Enterprise, recognizing that the colony has languished behind the technological improvements of the Federation. Admitting her lie, she requests asylum aboard the Enterprise. Several other colonists express their desire to leave. Troi brings Captain Picard to the colony to discuss the matter with Conor. Though Picard recognizes that the colony's society will be altered by agreeing to asylum, he cannot refuse this request as a fundamental right of human free will. Conor reluctantly agrees, and allows Bates and 22 other colonists to leave with the ship. As they leave orbit, Picard comments how this affair is a clear example of the necessity of the Prime Directive; the intervention of the Federation to save the colonists may have, in the end, proved just as dangerous to the colony as any core fragment could ever have been.

Review:

This is a good episode not only for exploring the issue of genetic engineering and Eugenics, but also for pointing out how fundamentally stupid the latter concept is. One of the many things I remember from my science lessons in school were the words of Charles Darwin, that the strength of nature is in its diversity. The whole reason why Earth has such a variety of life, and why humans are in turn so diverse in and of ourselves, is to enable it to survive. Wipe out a certain type of life form from the planet, and it wreaks havoc on all the other life. Wipe out a given racial type from within humanity or any other species, take its number and its genetic diversity too low, and you risk the loss of certain antibodies, or even a lack of sufficient genetic diversity, either of which can result in endangerment or extinction.

This is seen in the colony featured in this episode; the people and their environment have been made to depend on each other by design in a similar way to how life on Earth is inter-connected and inter-dependent. Remove enough pieces from the design and the whole thing gets ruined. In addition, it’s clear from how Benbeck behaves in general and how Bates initially treats Geordi that genetic engineering hasn’t ‘improved’ the people at all. They’ve each just been pre-programmed to be good at one thing, and in the process, they’ve become anti-disability bigots. If that’s what genetic engineering would do to humanity, I for one would want any scientist even theorising such changes to be shot, hung, electrocuted or otherwise executed. As much as the idea of being to work what you’ll do with your life from an early age and then do it brilliantly has a slight appeal, I’d sooner keep hold of an aimless and often incompetent humanity than trade away any hope of humanity getting better at accepting those who aren’t regularly abled.

Geordi’s line to Hannah is perfect in this regard; when she claims it was the wish of those who founded the colony that no one there should have to ‘suffer’ a life with disability, Geordi retorts “who gave them the right to decide whether or not I might have something to contribute?” This is exactly how everyone who is differently abled must feel at some time or another dealing with the regularly abled world, especially when they start talking about ‘curing’ us, like we’re some kind of disease. We’re not a disease, we’re people, and being differently abled gives us unique perspectives that add to humanity’s potential and advancement, as Geordi proves when the technology of his visor ends up being what solves the whole problem. Just goes to show that the only people who ever truly blind are those who fail to see value in those of us who are different.

The one thing spoiling the episode for me is Picard showing regret at mucking up the colony through their interference. While that does gain some plus-points in that it speaks to the idea that humanity needs to leave nature well enough alone more often than not, we’re talking about a colony of anti-disability bigots. Far as I’m concerned, the Enterprise should muck it up one way or another, and since they didn’t leave well enough alone on the stellar core fragment, dragging these genetically engineered throwbacks out of their moronic ignorance serves just as well. Overall, I give this episode 8 out of 10.

Episode 14: Conundrum

Plot (as adapted from Wikipedia):

After being scanned by an unknown alien spaceship, the Enterprise crew discover that their memories, along with those of the ship's computer, have been partially erased. Although they retain their practical knowledge and skills, none of the crew can remember who their crewmates are, and have forgotten their own identities. Mysteriously, during the scan, an additional crewmember, in an officer's uniform and with the rank of commander, has joined the group on the bridge.

The bridge crew attempts to gain control of the situation, and Worf, wearing his baldric, assumes because he is decorated that he is the captain of the ship, and assumes command. Data, with the memory files identifying who he is unavailable, and based on where he was when the scan happened, assumes the job of bartender in Ten Forward.

After considerable time, the ship's computer memory is finally reached, and La Forge brings up the manifest of the senior staff members. Among the bridge crew is listed the mysterious new member who is identified as Commander Kieran MacDuff, the executive officer. The computer also reveals what is apparently the Enterprise's mission: According to the orders, the Enterprise is part of a fleet of vessels fighting a decades-old war with the Lysians. Their current assignment is to destroy the Lysian central command headquarters, which they are to do while maintaining communications silence. Worf apologises to Picard for taking over but is assured he and the rest of the crew were simply doing their best.

In the meantime, Ensign Ro concludes that she and Commander Riker are likely romantically connected, and pursues this relationship. The two had been bickering about rank and proper procedure prior to the memory loss. Meanwhile Deanna Troi also realizes she has feelings for the commander and finds evidence which supports their past relationship.

Doctor Crusher works to restore the memories of the crew, a process complicated when it's found that the medical records for the crew have been destroyed. She tries an experimental procedure on MacDuff, who apparently reacts poorly to the treatments, but later smiles when Crusher turns away.

Continuing toward the target, the Enterprise encounters a Lysian ship, which is easily destroyed. Picard becomes concerned with how mismatched the firepower of the Enterprise is compared to her supposed enemies. Picard complains to MacDuff that he feels as though he has been given a weapon, taken into a room and told to shoot a stranger. Ultimately, when faced with the Lysian central command, drastically incapable of fighting them off and with 15,311 people on board, Picard calls off the mission, stating that he does not fire on defenceless people. Angered by this action, MacDuff attempts to take control of the Enterprise throwing Lt Worf across the bridge when Worf attempts to restrain him. Riker then fires a phaser at MacDuff, revealing that MacDuff is some manner of alien. MacDuff struggles to activate the ship's weapons, but Riker and Worf defeat him by simultaneously firing their phasers at him causing him to collapse.

D. Crusher is able to restore memories to the crew. The alien is identified as a Satarran, who are at war with the Lysians so they plotted to hijack the Enterprise and tilt the war in their favor.

Riker remains uneasy when he encounters Troi and Ro in the Ten Forward bar. Troi claims his actions resulted from subconscious desires and curtly informs him that "if you're still confused tomorrow, you know where my office is."

Review:

Compared to “Future Imperfect” and “Clues”, this episode is a better use of the concept of amnesia to throw our characters a curve ball because it’s using it more extensively. “Future Imperfect” didn’t really use amnesia per se; it was just an excuse to explain why Riker couldn’t remember an ideal-ish future that was actually a holodeck program of sorts. Likewise, “Clues” only erased memories covering a very short space of time. In this episode, who the characters are gets shoved right out the mental airlock, and it’s fun to see how they try and work their way back to themselves. The change in the Ro-Riker relationship that creates a love triangle between the two of them and Troi is probably the most amusing concept out of the lot, albeit a predictable use of the whole ‘sexual attraction disguised as antagonism’ cliché if you go by the pre-amnesia relationship between Riker and Ro.

The biggest problem is the addition of the alien who claims to be Commander MacDuff; just by his presence alone combined with the amnesia, you know the two will be linked, and the solution is given away pretty much the moment the fake mission gets revealed. There’s no climax or suspense, and most of the characters return to who they should be despite a lack of memories too quickly. As a result, the more interesting use of amnesia is undermined by this less-than-brilliant execution. For me, the episode only racks up an end score of 7 out of 10.

Episode 15: Power Play

Plot (as adapted from Wikipedia):

The Enterprise approaches Mab-Bu VI, a moon covered in electromagnetic storms, from where it has detected a distress call. Lt. Commander Data discovers that the distress call is standard for Daedalus-class starships, which went out of service 172 years ago. He then finds that the USS Essex, a Daedalus-class ship, was lost in the region over 200 years ago. After concluding that visiting a ghost ship with an away team in such hazardous conditions is a waste of resources, Captain Picard decides to move on and report the whereabouts of the once-missing ship. However, Counsellor Troi indicates that she feels a living presence on the surface. Data announces that electromagnetic interference prevent the use of the transporter to the moon; Picard authorizes a shuttlecraft mission, manned by Commander Riker, Data, and Troi.

As the shuttlecraft travels towards the moon's surface, the crew loses control, and makes a crash landing. By the time the shuttle lands, all communication with the Enterprise has been cut off by electromagnetic interference. Riker has a broken arm due to the crash landing and the three crew members emerge from the shuttlecraft to learn about their surroundings. They observe the front of a massive electrical storm. A tricorder scan indicates EM bursts across the entire spectrum.

Back on the Enterprise, the crew discuss rescuing the crew of the shuttle. Ro Laren uses the descent angle of the shuttlecraft to approximate the landing site. Transporter chief Miles O'Brien proposes that he should transport to the surface and use a pattern-enhancing device to allow a reliable transport of the away team. Lt. Commander La Forge cautions Picard that O'Brien's chance of surviving the transport is about fifty-fifty. O'Brien acknowledges the risk and Picard grants permission. O'Brien safely transports to Mab-Bu VI and prepares the transport procedure. While doing this, the crew is struck by what appear to be bolts of electricity, incapacitating all four members. Three light sources enter the bodies of Data, Troi, and O'Brien, and Riker awakens to finish the pattern buffers. All four are then safely transported back to the Enterprise.

When they awaken, Data, Troi, and O'Brien insist that the Enterprise conduct a survey of the southern polar region of the moon. The rest of the crew refuse. The three then stage a violent uprising and take command of the ship. They use hostages as leverage to force Picard to change course. Dr Crusher determines that Riker was not affected because the pain from his broken arm repelled whatever force possessed the others. Troi, the leader of the mutineers, then reveals that she is the captain of the Essex. She claims that their spirits were trapped in the electromagnetic fields of the moon and if the Enterprise transports their bones back to Earth, they can be set free. However, Picard is sceptical of her claim because of their violent actions.

La Forge, Crusher, and Ro devise a plan to separate the possessive entities from the crew members' bodies by inducing pain, then containing them by flooding the area with a particle field. However, the plan fails when Data suddenly moves out of the attack area. After Data threatens to kill everyone in the room, Picard agrees to comply with their demands. He tells Riker to let Data, Troi, and O'Brien move safely to one of the cargo bays. Picard, Worf, and Keiko O'Brien accompany them as hostages. After they arrive, Picard challenges Troi about her claim to be captain of the Essex and she reveals that the moon is a penal colony. O'Brien uses the transporter to beam hundreds of other prisoner entities into the cargo bay. These prisoners are to take over additional crew members' bodies so they can commandeer the Enterprise and return to their home planet.

The bridge crew activates the particle field, which sequesters the other prisoners. They then prepare to blow the cargo bay hatch, which would kill the six crew members in addition to all the prisoners. Picard, Worf, and Keiko each declare that they are willing to die, which forces the three prisoners to relinquish their hosts. Worf beams all prisoners back to the moon. Data apologizes to Worf for the way he acted when possessed by a prisoner, adding that Worf must have exercised extreme self-control to not fight back. O’Brien is joyfully reunited with his wife and baby daughter.

Review:

This episode stands out for being ‘that one where Marina Sirtis did her own stunt and broke her coccyx’, as well as being perhaps an early prototype for the ‘make O’Brien suffer’ episodes of DS9 fame. Him revealing that he’d have killed the entity possessing him if he could, taken in context with how much O’Brien hates the Cardassians for forcing him to kill when he had to fight in the Federation-Cardassian war, shows this couldn’t have been an easy experience for the character. However, aside from that, it’s another example of ‘actors playing their characters weird for weirdness’ sake, and again the solution is given away early. The weird energy going into Data, Troi and O’Brien practically screams possession by an alien consciousness, Data’s actions afterwards telegraph the mutiny ahead of time, and if the behaviour of the possessing entities didn’t scream desperate escaping prisoners, I don’t know what does. For me, this episode is only worth 5 out of 10.

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ahouseoflies · 5 years ago

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The Best Films of 2019, Part II

Part I is here. ENDEARING CURIOSITIES WITH BIG FLAWS

106. Alita: Battle Angel (Robert Rodriguez)- I'm not looking at a list of films with budgets over $175 million, but I guarantee this is the one with the lowest stakes. It concerns a cyborg who tries to uncover the identity that the audience knows she has all along, and it takes place on three sets. I was intrigued by the prospect of Robert Rodriguez directing a James Cameron production, since the former uses effects to be lazy and the latter uses effects to challenge himself. Alita is more of a Rodriguez movie in that regard. Although it looks slightly better than those pictures he used to make in his backyard, it ain't by much. 105. The Upside (Neil Burger)- As good enough as movies get, good enough right up to the childish screenwriting contrivances of the third act. ("I guess he knows about wheelchairs now, so he gets a job at a wheelchair factory? Or maybe it's his own factory? I don't know--I'm still spitballing in this production draft.") Queen Nicole is criminally underserved though. Have you read that story about how Keanu Reeves's friend forged his name onto the contract for The Watcher, but Keanu didn't want to go through a prolonged legal battle, so he just showed up despite the fraud? Surely it's got to be something like that. Or maybe she was under the impression her character was still being fleshed out, but she got there and saw that nothing has been changed since the last draft? It's just like, "Yvonne looks stern. More to be added." I know for sure that no one told one of the greatest actresses in the world about the part in which she's supposed to be a good dancer. She would have prepared. 104. How to Train Your Dragon: The Hidden World (Dean DeBlois)- HtTYD is still the most visually experimental animated franchise. For example, DeBlois hazes the image when a character is looking at another through a torch, there's a five-minute wordless sequence of dragons falling in love, and a lot of work has been put into crafting peach fuzz. I also appreciate that these films retain consequences. Hiccup has a prosthetic leg, and his dad is still dead. Narratively though, everything feels like a holding pattern, a brand extension that doesn't offer real stakes or real laughs. (Fishlegs has a beard now. That's his character development. That's it.) Even if The Hidden World offers an ending of sorts to the trilogy, it's a story of retreat/escape that can't help but feel like a sideways step from its already disappointing predecessor. My daughter tuned out and got really restless with about twenty minutes left. 103. Greta (Neil Jordan)- Such a boilerplate thriller that I was actually predicting the dialogue at points: "Miss, I'm sorry, but there's nothing we can do if she's just standing there across the street. She's not breaking the law." There is one notable thing that happens though. In a scene at a church, Huppert makes the Sign of the Cross incorrectly. As an actress, kind of negligent. As a French person, pretty exquisite. 102. Anna (Luc Besson)- The timeline-jumping didn't work for me, but without it, I don't think there's much notable about the quadruple-crossing here at all. The awe-inspiring restaurant fight sequence is the film's saving grace; I'm awarding an extra half-star for its slashing-throats-with-plates viscera. 101. Captain Marvel (Ryan Fleck and Anna Boden)- Was I supposed to know what a Skrull was before this? Lee Pace and Djimon Hounsou show up playing Guardians characters, so I think I was supposed to connect more of the sci-fi dots of the first twenty minutes than I did. All of that inter-planetary stuff was tough sledding for me, and I preferred the Elastica music cue and Radio Shack jokes. As it turns out, especially in this genre, it's dramatically frustrating to go on a hero's journey with a character who doesn't know who she is. It was nice to see Samuel L. Jackson, with convincing de-aging effects, get a real arc in one of these movies, rather than just posing here and there. Brie Larson does enough posing for the both of them. 100. Frozen II (Chris Buck, Jennifer Lee)- Frozen begins with sisters being separated after one injures the other. It plays for keeps from minute five. Frozen II, whose smaller stakes are felt in the one-or-so location, B-team songs, and forgettable new characters, never feels as real. 99. Aladdin (Guy Ritchie)- Even if the songs still bang and Nasim Pedrad is very funny, Aladdin feels as cynical and--don't say it, don't say it--unnecessary as all of these live-action remakes do. I'm looking forward to the animated remakes of the live-action remakes, which might figure out a way to reincarnate Robin Williams. One can dream, even cynically. 98. El Camino: A Breaking Bad Movie (Vince Gilligan)- Finally, the TV movie--and no shade, but this ending we didn't ask for is definitely part of the TV movie tradition--that answers a burning question for Breaking Bad fans: Was Jesse ever interesting by himself?

97. High Life (Claire Denis)- As uncool as it makes me, I have to admit that I just don't care for Claire Denis's aesthetic. Knowing nothing going in, I was captivated by the mysterious first half-hour, but once the film started to explain itself, it seemed like a B movie with more ponderous music. High Life is effectively claustrophobic, but I found myself "yes-anding" most of it. Yes, for example, space is lonely, as I've learned from every other movie about space.

96. Where’d You Go, Bernadette? (Richard Linklater)- From the get-go, this movie doesn't work--structurally, tonally--but the miscalculations of Linklater and Blanchett and especially the mawkish music don't have enough consequence for the film to even fail on a noteworthy level. It's not unpleasant. You just laugh sparingly and think, on the way out, "I don't think she loved her daughter as much as she said she did" or "Get to Antarctica twenty minutes earlier or twenty minutes later." Linklater, an inestimable talent, has added an entry to his filmography that might as well not exist. Making movies, especially adaptations of epistolary books, is hard. I'm being too understanding of that or not understanding enough. 95. Dumbo (Tim Burton)- Just as Dumbo begins to take chances--fashioning itself as an anti-corporate parable with Keaton playing a Disney-esque "architect of dreams"--it settles back down to its own low expectations. Expectations that come from the storytelling and characterization and not the production design, which seems grandly practical except for the CG [rolls up sleeves, adjusts glasses, tightens shoes] elephant in the room. Of the performances, Farrell comes out on top, displaying Movie Star confidence despite very little to work with. (Can a World War I veteran who lost his arm and his wife be allowed a bit more pain?) It gives me no pleasure to dunk on child actors, but both of the kids seem to be reading their lines, and their monotones nearly sink the movie at the beginning. 94. Echo in the Canyon (Andrew Slater)- A nice enough introduction to the scene, but Jakob Dylan's constant presence as an interviewer and performer turns it into a vanity project. The film shuffles among talking heads interviews, prep for an anniversary concert, and an anniversary concert, and I'll let you guess which one of those is interesting. The access that the filmmakers got is impressive, but if a person didn't participate (Carole King is the obvious one), the filmmakers just pretend he or she didn't exist. 93. Diamantino (Gabriel Abrantes and Daniel Schmidt)- I like the notion of someone so specialized in his profession that he has a child-like understanding of the outside world, and Carloto Cotta sells the innocence of the title character. (The Donna Lewis needle-drop killed me too.) But too often this film feels as if it's focusing on sheer weirdness over satisfying narrative. Cult classics are fine, but you should try for the regular classic. 92. Ma (Tate Taylor)- There are some cool ideas here--the innocent entrees that technology provides, the way the movie earns its R rating. But the script needs a few more passes for everything to congeal past the silliness, especially with regard to the hammy flashbacks that attempt to provide motivation for the Ma figure. I respect the attempt to humanize a monster, but she would be more scary if left opaque. 91. Bombshell (Jay Roach)- The films that try explicitly to comment on our current social climate are never the most successful ones, especially if their internal politics are this muddled. The film takes great pleasure in implicating the toxic system of Fox News, taking shots at anyone who would participate. Then it starts to pick and choose who to like in that system, which is where it gets weird. Obviously, a Fox News employee who sexually harasses another employee is "worse" than an employee who gets harassed. But then the Charles Randolph screenplay starts to sort closeted lesbians and career-strivers, and it's not sure who the bad guys really are. The film moves quite swiftly in its first half, and Charlize Theron's mimicking of Megyn Kelly is eerie. But I don't think Jay Roach knows what he believes. The lurid, claustrophobic scene between Margot Robbie's composite Kayla and John Lithgow's breathy Roger Ailes is the transcendent moment. It teases out the humiliation slowly and powerfully. With a quite meta flourish, the scene makes you hate yourself if you've ever objectified one of the most objectified actresses in the world; she's that great at illustrating her discomfort.

90. Glass (M. Night Shyamalan)- 1. A great example of "story" vs. "things happening." A negative example, I'm afraid. 2. The Osaka Tower represents the literal and figurative highs that the film will literally and figuratively not reach. 3. Spencer Treat Clark back!!! 4. The flashbacks are actual deleted scenes from Unbreakable, which is amazing. 5. Not since Lost has there been a work that seems like obsessive fan service, but the fan in mind is the creator, not any member of the audience. We do not want your explanations about Jai the security guard's role in your universe, Night. 6. This is a sequel to Unbreakable and a sequel to Split, but it somehow does not feel like a third chapter of anything. 7. It makes sense that I watched this on the same day that I listened to Weezer's The Teal Album, their surprise collection of punctilious '80s covers. In both cases, there's an artist who was really important to me in formative years but who has used up the last of whatever capital he has accrued by giving in to his worst instincts. In Shyamalan's case though, at least it's a confident swing. The second act pretty much tells us that we were dumb to believe what he sold us on. Even though it's dramatically inert and completely stops halfway through, this is exactly the movie he wanted to make, which I stupidly still admire. 89. Five Feet Apart (Justin Baldoni)- I checked this out because I have the sneaking suspicion that Haley Lu Richardson is a Movie Star, and she is continuing to progress into that power/responsibility. Otherwise the movie is a by-the-numbers weepie that doesn't really have a new spin on anything but hits its marks adequately. I was surprised that Claire Forlani got neither a "with" nor an "and" card in the credits. How rude. 88. Pet Sematary (Kevin Kolsch and Dennis Widmyer)- I like the bleak dive the film takes following its second big twist, which is handled well, but there is a ceiling for an adaptation of one of King's least ambitious and most predetermined tales. 87. Wild Rose (Tom Harper)- So conventional that Jessie Buckley almost got nominated for a Golden Globe. 86. Judy (Rupert Goold)- Just as the leaves start to change, we get biopics like these: too earnest to be cliched, too safe to be original. I'm on the ground floor of the Zellwegerssaince, but Judy is a slog in stretches. 85. The King (David Michod)- Capable but superfluous. Animal Kingdom was nine years ago, so it's quite possible that David Michod, even when he has an imperious Ben Mendelsohn at his disposal, has lost the urgency. The reason that anyone should see this--at least until someone puts together a YouTube compilation of just his scenes--is for Robert Pattinson, whose take on The Dauphin is the frontrunner for Most On-One Performance of the Year. 84. Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker (J.J. Abrams)- There are just enough moments--the first Force battle between Kylo and Rey being one of them--that remind the viewer of the magic of Star Wars. Kylo Ren's arc concludes in a more satisfying way than I expected, Babu Frik is officially my dude, and Daisy Ridley's post-Star Wars career intrigues me. My Dolby seat was rumbling, and I was pretty charged up on candy. But, man, most of the business here feels compromised, undermined, and inessential. It's a rushed connect-the-dots compared to The Last Jedi. There's a scene in which the gang has to risk wiping C-3PO's memory to gain important information--they need a thing to get to another thing to get to another thing--and there appear to be stakes for just a second. Then, as if to reassure the audience that there will be ten more of these movies, Rey adds, "Doesn't R2 have a backup of your memory?" That's the whole movie in an expensive, nostalgic nutshell.

83. Queen & Slim (Melina Matsoukas)- Capable of tender moments but shot in the foot by its episodic nature, Queen & Slim is the most uneven picture of the year. The characters work well as foils to each other, but Jodie Turner-Smith's performance is overshadowed by Kaluuya's. I have no idea what Chloe Sevigny and Flea are trying to do in their brief time on screen, and I have no idea what the film is trying to do when it disturbs the point of view for a misguided protest sequence. 82. Hustlers (Lorene Scafaria)- It has been a long time since I was so surprised that a movie was over. The coda comes up telling us about, in real life, what kind of criminal slaps on the wrists the characters received, and I got pushed out of the theater wondering what it all amounted to. Yeah, that's the point. I know. Just as none of the 2008 bankers went to jail in the wake of their destruction, none of the women who drugged and exploited them did much time beyond "14 months of weekends" either. But should I applaud moral confusion? Can I be angry about the lack of consequences for both parties? If you want me to judge the film I watched instead of the film I wanted to watch, I can be more complimentary. Some of the most electric moments in 2019 cinema are here, rooted in 2008 strip club music. And saying 2008 strip club rap was good is like saying 1890 French Impressionism was good. Nearly every performance works, from Lili Reinhart's bashfulness to Wai Ching Ho's gratitude to Jennifer Lopez's intractable confidence. Also, I don't know if anyone has noticed this before, but J. Lo has a nice butt. 81. The Report (Scott Z. Burns)- There are some interesting things going on here. For example, this feedback loop: An hour or so in, protagonist Daniel Jones watches a fabricated news feature that explains what waterboarding is, and I had an instinct as an audience member to go, "Like we don't know by now. Don't hold my hand." But the only reason I know is because of news reports like that, informed by work that the real Daniel Jones did, dramatized in the events of the first half of this very movie. Still, this movie is a lot like one of those dishes in which every single element sounds like something you would like--"Ooh, pork belly, delicious. Oooh, lemongrass. Bet those would go well together"--but you take a bite, and it doesn't taste good. Is that your fault or the restaurant's?

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cnroth · 8 years ago

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On the Q

It was a revelation to me when I first rewatched Star Trek on Netflix a couple of years ago, that John DeLancie’s Q is considered malevolent or villainous. Given that I was born during the summer between seasons one and two of Star Trek: The Next Generation (TNG), and that the series I remember most clearly from childhood is Voyager (VOY), one can understand my confusion.

In the pilot episode, the Q are introduced as a species of extremely powerful beings who can manipulate space and time to their will. They place themselves as judges over so-called “lesser” species, issuing subjective rulings about whether or not these other species are worthy of expanding, growing, or even existing. Sins committed by members or factions can be held against the whole species, being used as evidence of their immorality. Of course, Captain Picard convinces Q to allow him and his crew to prove themselves as having transcended the sins of their past, and is (more or less) successful.

By the end of TNG, the character of Q has evolved. Because audiences responded more to his snide humor and chaotic-neutral alignment than to the possible metaphors to be found within his character, that heavily influenced what he became—an amusing pest who pops in every so often to teach someone on the Enterprise a lesson about life or exploration or themselves. Yet, as he revealed to Picard in the series finale, he never really stopped being what he always was. The trial was not over, and the fate of humanity had yet to be decided.

Then, came his arc through VOY. As with anything related to VOY, this has been the most heavily criticized portion of his development. His first appearance, in the episode Death Wish, followed quite well with where his character left off at the end of TNG, and remains one of my favorite episodes of any Trek series. After that… well… he goes a bit off the rails.

Now, let’s just step aside for a moment to acknowledge the elephant in the room. A large number of the *cough* cisgendered-heterosexual-male *cough* Trekkers/Trekkies who hate VOY, hate it because both the primary protagonist (Captain Kathryn Janeway) and the primary antagonist (the Borg Queen) are strong, authoritative women. WAIT! Don’t tune me out yet; stay with me.

Yes, I know there are many legitimate criticisms of the series—its writing, its quality, the lizard babies, blah blah blah. Yes, I know. I fully acknowledge those things. I don’t deny them. And no, I am not turning this into a rant about how Janeway-haters are all misogynists. That’s another topic entirely. Simply, I do not want this to become a VOY-bashing session. I adore that show, and if you insult Captain Janeway, I will have to toss you out of an airlock.

That being said, I personally do not like where the writers took Q in the later seasons of VOY. It simply does not fit his character for me, and I think it cheapens what he represented throughout his run on TNG. It sold him out for easy laughs and entertainment instead of building into what I think could have been an incredibly potent allegory for power and privilege—one that was wonderfully fleshed out in Death Wish and then surreptitiously dropped in favor of a much more shallow and subtly sexist plot meant to garner lolz at the expense of strength and complexity in Janeway’s and Chakotay’s characters.

Power and privilege, I think, is where I really hone in on the essence of Q, for better or for worse. In some ways, he knows exactly what he has over everyone else; in other ways, he is blind to it. That is the nature of being a privileged person, is it not? For example, men can be fully aware that there is a social power imbalance that favors them and disadvantages women, yet completely blind to the fact that their reasons for disliking Janeway are characteristics they overlook and even praise in the male captains. That is the nature of privilege. Q knows that he is more capable than humans are, yet he never seems to grasp that his own privilege is exactly what skews his understanding of humanity in unfair and stereotypical ways. It also blinds him to the things they have in common.

But, here is where I want to get meta on my meta: Q is a character representing privilege, who is created and written by people of privilege. He is Bill Gates lecturing about income inequality. He is Iggy Azalea giving an interview on the value of rap. He is a mansplainer, telling women what sexism looks like. Sometimes, he does actually get the idea across. Sometimes, the allegory is good and poignant. Other times, it’s problematic. Always, it ignores the perspective of those for whom the issue is most real.

This character misappropriates the issue of power and privilege. It skews the allegory in favor of the privileged viewer, to the detriment of the oppressed. The fact that he uses epithets against Worf and Chakotay go unnoticed. Remember that time he turned Dr. Crusher into a dog in the middle of her absolutely spot-on criticism of his actions towards Amanda, rolling his eyes at the “shrill” woman? Or the time he tried to coerce Captain Janeway to have sex with him in exchange for getting her crew home? Did you laugh at those interactions and then promptly forget about the implications when the “real” moral of the story came to light? Those things soil otherwise good episodes for me, not because they exist but because they are written simply to make privileged viewers go, “lol, Q’s an asshole.” It isn’t so funny to those of us who actually live with that sort of treatment on a regular basis. If anything, it twists the knife. Meanwhile, white men can pat themselves on the back for watching such an enlightened, progressive tv show.

Still, there are positives to be pulled from this mess. I cannot help but think about the story of two Q who chose to leave the Continuum and move to Earth, and I consider the parallels to be found in how horribly allies are often treated by people of privilege who view them as traitors. I think about how it boggles Q’s mind that Riker did not want to give up his human life in order to be a Q. I think of how petty I can be when I know that I have a larger base of knowledge on something than someone else does, and how quickly I can dismiss their perspective as being beneath me. I think of how utterly unjust and narrow-minded it is for “developed” societies to judge “underdeveloped” cultures when the truth is that they have no such moral right. I think of how, sometimes, having everything handed to you can suffocate that which makes life worth living until you don’t know why you even bother anymore.

I think of these things and I wonder if Q, like the Borg, is simply another antagonist blatantly abusing power and privilege in order to teach people with real world power about themselves.

#star trek #tng #st voy #q continuum #star trek meta

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heroesandvillainsofmbti · 8 years ago

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INFP: Benjamin Sisko, “Star Trek: Deep Space Nine”

INFP – the Healer, the Dreamer, the Clarifier

The revelation that Sisko is an INFP hit me one day like a ton of latinum bricks. I was trying to explain his moody attitude in the first episode compared to his later boldness. Cycling through a half-dozen or more different types and cognitive functions, I suddenly recognized the Fi-Si loop. I’ve been in one many a time, and now that I know we share the same type, I wish I had more of the positive aspects of Sisko’s personality in common with him. But Star Trek is about nothing so much as aspiration, so I hope all the shy INFPs out there can look to this commanding example of the INFP as a figure of power and passion.

Dominant Function: (Fi) Introverted Feeling, “The Deep Well”

Once Sisko believes in something, his intensity can be scary, even to the family and crew who know him well. Witness his fury for fighting the Dominion, hunting down Eddington, or saving Bajor.

When he first takes the DS9 assignment, this intensity is in danger of trickling away. Sisko is stuck deep in an Fi-Si loop in the wake of his wife Jennifer’s death at the hands of the Borg, and he’s become withdrawn, directionless, and moody. Meeting the wormhole aliens grants him the emotional catharsis he needs to properly grieve Jennifer’s loss, and he returns to his mission with renewed energy.

Over the years, the assignment takes on greater personal meaning for Ben—he is “of Bajor,” and he calls DS9 the place where he belongs.

For all his passion, Ben usually keeps a reserved, somewhat brooding composure. His bond with his son Jake appears through warmth, physical affection, and shared meals. He and his eventual new wife Kasidy strike sparks together instantly, but he has trouble voicing his feelings at certain awkward points in their relationship. For a long time, he won’t join the DS9 crew at Vic’s, until Kasidy drags out of him that he morally objects to joining a re-creation of a time and place where brown people like themselves weren’t allowed.

Even when healthy, Sisko’s Fi smolders—he rarely reacts in the moment unless called for. Given time, he erupts, embarking on a bold course of action, or delivering a stirring moral rant. All Star Trek captains excel at speechifying, but Sisko’s brand of righteous fury is particularly invigorating to behold. He dresses down recalcitrant officers, calls out stubborn Starfleet leadership, and takes devious villains to task.

Ben trusts his own judgment, in spite of entreaties or orders to the contrary. He leads a mission to rescue Odo and Garak from the massacre at the Omarion Nebula, despite Starfleet’s orders and the risks involved. He never believes that smooth-talking villains like Dukat, Winn, or Weyoun are up to anything other than no good. He shows faith in Kira and Odo from the beginning despite their prickliness and initial conflict. He takes it really hard, and really personally, when Eddington betrays him, because he didn’t see it coming while the man served right beside him.

Sisko’s Fi works through his decisions carefully, and in the morally gray environment of DS9, it has to work overtime. He constantly has to settle disputes and arguments in a politically tricky environment. He preaches about how it’s easy for Starfleet Command to overlook the plight of the Maquis because Earth is a Paradise. He believes bringing the Romulans into the war is the right thing to do, but in the aftermath, he needs to privately process the shady things he did to make it happen. He comes to a place where he’s okay with what he’s done, makes his peace with himself, and then deletes the log entry.

Auxiliary Function: (Ne) Extraverted Intuition, “The Hiking Trails”

Sisko explains to the Prophets in their first encounter that life is like baseball. With each new pitch, each new swing, a thousand potential outcomes arise which cannot be predicted. This, he preaches, is the joy of linear existence—while the Wormhole Aliens see all of time all at once, humans have to experience time moment by moment, never quite knowing what will happen next.

By explaining it out loud to the Prophets, Sisko realizes he has not been living this way. He’s been stuck in an Fi-Si loop since the death of his wife, unable to move forward. Sisko engages his auxiliary function and looks to the future—in his vision, he leaves his wife’s body and turns to his young son.

Ben is bright and accomplished, with expertise in engineering and military strategy—and baseball. He excelled and achieved at the Academy, and had a diverse career before taking the DS9 assignment. He’s possessed of an obsessive curiosity, and once he gets started on a project or pursuit, he can’t stop. Building the Bajoran lightship, exploring the ruins of B’Hala, beating the Vulcans at baseball, even tricking the Romulans into the war, are all paths he took from which he couldn’t retreat.

He even performs the part of the villain when chasing down Eddington, playing into the man’s martyrdom complex and going to shocking lengths to make him surrender.

Sisko is extremely patient with his angry, diverse, misfit crew as they learn to work together. He’s able to understand and appreciate the ideas and perspectives of other cultures, whether it’s the religion of the Bajorans or the greed of the Ferengi (though Quark has to school him a couple times). Although he’s uncomfortable with the implications at first, Sisko can hold on to the apparently contradictory concepts that the creators of the wormhole are both Wormhole Aliens (a scientific description) and the Prophets to the Bajoran people (a faith-based proposition). He eventually accepts that he is both a Starfleet officer with a job, and the Emissary of the Prophets with a calling.

This does not make either Starfleet Command or the Bajoran religious establishment entirely happy, but Sisko thrives in the paradox between these two ideas.

As Benny, his persona in his vision of the 1950s, Sisko is even more obviously an INFP. Benny writes short stories at a science fiction magazine, imagining a better future where anything is possible—like a black man commanding a space station. Later, when Benjamin returns to his life on DS9, he wonders if his whole existence here, and the life of everyone on board, might not be entirely in Benny’s head. And again, just like the dichotomy of the Aliens and the Prophets, Sisko is okay with this ambiguity.

Tertiary Function: (Si) Introverted Sensing, “The Study”

Sisko describes to the Prophets how each moment that a human experiences prepares them for the next—but no past experience prepared him for the day Jennifer died. He sees her “every time I close my eyes.” In the time-warp limbo of the Wormhole Aliens’ space, Sisko literally lives in that moment, continuously.

Sisko loops again, though not as severely, after the death of Jadzia, heading back home to Earth to peel potatoes at his father’s restaurant while he clears his head.

In fact, home is a familiar retreat for Ben. In his first few weeks at the Academy, he spent all his transporter credits beaming home for dinner every night. Years later, Sisko and Jake have lived on DS9 for over two years before he finally unpacks their stuff from Earth. Ben confesses to Jake that he’s finally begun “to think of this Cardassian monstrosity as home.”

Ben enjoys having the crew over to his quarters for dinner, which he cooks himself with real ingredients, carrying on the culinary legacy of the Sisko family. He also treasures the near-extinct Earth sport of baseball, keeping the tradition alive with his son Jake, and teaching the crew to play. At the end of the series, Ben decides that Bajor will be his home when he retires, and nabs a parcel of land to start building a house.

Jadzia tells him he’s a builder, the kind of man who needs to stay in a place and get the job done, rather than administrate from a distance (which is proven true the couple of times he’s given desk jobs). This healthy Si keeps Sisko grounded and focused while tackling the daily surprises that the job on DS9 brings.

Inferior Function: (Te) Extraverted Thinking, “The Workshop”

Sisko’s comfortable enough with his Te that he makes an effective and even intimidating commander. He rarely has trouble telling his crew what he wants or confronting them on their mistakes, though it’s typically low-key or one-on-one. When faced with orders or situations he dislikes or disapproves of, he’ll speak out or even yell out one of his epic moral rants, but often this is only after he’s kept his temper bottled up for a while.

Normally patient in his leadership style, Ben can become controlling and heavy-handed under extreme stress. He pushes the Federation President to declare martial law on Earth when he suspects Changeling infiltrators are afoot. Starfleet security officers march the streets, and ordinary citizens are ordered to give blood tests. It takes a lecture from his father to cool him off and set him back on the right track.

Ben gets aggressive as the coach of the DS9 baseball team, determined not to let the team of smug Vulcans beat them. He takes the competition too personally—the Vulcan team captain has been taunting Ben about human inferiority since their Academy days—and bullies the crew to be better. He embarrasses Rom and kicks him off the team, and then gets kicked out of the game himself for laying hands on the umpire (ISTJ Odo, sticking to the rules).

The team loses, but not before Sisko reinstates Rom, who scores a run. The Niners celebrate afterward, because scoring against Vulcans at all after only a few days of practice is a victory of its own. It is not logical, as the Vulcan points out, but Sisko has stopped caring what his rational adversary thinks of him. He revels in the happiness of the moment, because more than being a Starfleet Captain, more than being an Emissary, Ben Sisko is a human.

#MBTI #Star Trek: Deep Space Nine #Ben Sisko #Avery Brooks #INFP #cognitive functions #Fi-dom #Fi #Introverted Feeling #Ne-aux #Ne #Extraverted Intuition #Si #Introverted Sensing #Te #Extraverted Thinking

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rogueandcr-blog · 8 years ago

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Headcanon #001–– Captive

Note: Developed from an ask meme about headcanons (which I will link back to this later) and some parts of the novelization I had highlighted for this specific reason.

* = Comes directly from the novelization, and I am in no way claiming credit for these two quotes in particular.

**Warning**: I am putting this under a read more and tagging it with trigger warnings, but I’d also like to let you know here that this headcanon deals with subject matter that may be triggering. Mentions of violence, blood, and somewhat graphic description of torture. Also though it is never directly addressed as such, there are implications of ptsd as well. Please take caution before reading, because your comfort and safety is most important to me. Thanks!

When things went wrong, he was quickly learning they went wrong fast, and most of the time there would be little or no warning. One moment, he was ducking behind a building to meet with one of his informants, the next he was flat on his back with a blaster pressed to his forehead. If he could have looked about two meters to his left, he would have seen his informant in a similar predicament. He had been lead into a trap.

The trooper holding him down lifted the blaster from his head, and Cassian closed his eyes, prepared for this to be it. Nothing. Just as he opened his eyes once more, he caught the gleam of sunlight reflecting off the handle just before it came down an inch from his temple.

He woke up in a dark cell. Alone.

Leev, the informant he was supposed to meet, was nowhere in sight. Everything was silent but the ragged, unsteady intervals of breath he took. He could not remember how long he sat in dark silence, hours even days perhaps.

He was sure he would die of dehydration in that cell, when finally two troopers and an Imperial officer decided to pay their rebel prisoner a visit.

“They're requesting your presence for this,” the officer drawled– he sounded bored by the whole situation, as though it was some menial task he would have rather pawned off on some underling.

Cassian was forced out of the cell and into a sterile, white refresher, where he was hastily ordered to “wash up and make yourself presentable,” by one of the helmeted figures. When Cassian dared to ask why it mattered so much, he was given the cryptic response, “you’ll find out soon enough.”

Once he was as presentable as he could be while emaciated, he was all but dragged to another cell. While this one was not unlike the previous, it was better lit and clean, where the other was dark and reeked of filth. Here he was given water and something that could barely be considered edible, but to Cassian it was easily one of the best things he'd tasted. Given the command to wait, he was once more drowned in silence, only this time it was broken before he had the chance to question much of anything.

The same officer as before walked through the door, taking a deliberate step out of the wall and against the wall, making room for the cloaked figure that followed.

Looming over every trooper Cassian had encountered, this person brought with them an air of intimidation. Cassian’s mouth went as bone dry as it had been only minutes prior, as he kept his eyes trained on the newest arrival making their way towards him.

An intense unease fell over Cassian, as though the stranger was staring straight at him, but they quickly turned their head back toward the officer.

“Bring him in.”

The officer snapped his fingers and in seconds, Leev stood before them– no, not standing, being held up by two troopers at each arm. He looked worse for wear, like he'd spent the majority of his time in captivity being put through the ringer. When he looked to Cassian, his eyes were pleading– pleading not for the guards to have mercy on him, but for Cassian, for him to find a way to get them out of there. Cassian knew he could show no sign of recognition, so instead he gave Leev a stony glance and nothing more.

“Do you know this man?” a deep voice asked from behind he black helmet. It took Cassian a moment to realize it was him being addressed.

“I saw him as I was walking home from the market. Before I was arrested.” A whimper escaped Leev at Cassian’s cover. Cassian silently questioned this strange gesture.

The noise from under the helmet– one which Cassian finally deduced belonged to the elusive Darth Vader, whom many on the rebel base spoke of in hushed tones– was even less reassuring. It sounded almost like a chuckle cut short by a heavy, mechanical breath. “You can spare the petty lies, Captain. Your little spy here told my associate you were meeting him to discuss sensitive information sent from the former Senator Organa.”

Cassian did not dare respond this time, only a bit fearful he would meet the same fate as Leev. The foolish child Cassian once was would have made a smart remark, accusing the other man of lies, but he was now nineteen and a Captain. If he fell for such provocation, all of his training would have been for nought.

“I was hoping if I reunited the two of you, maybe we could all hear that message you were sent to deliver.” Once more he was being tested– if he spoke, so much as uttered a word, he would most likely be struck where he stood. If he could hold out, maybe they would hold out too.

“No? You won't tell me? Perhaps I could loosen your tongue a bit. After all, if this man is to be believed, he spoke rather fondly of your way with words.”

The only true liar in the room was the Lord Vader. Leev did not know Cassian’s true identity, for that he was certain, nor who the message was from. Somehow, the masked man had obtained this information during the time Cassian spent in the cell.

Even still, Cassian did not dare open his mouth, utter a single word. Instead, his muscles tensed, braced for whatever method of extraction the man was prepared to use on him.

What happened next Cassian would never forget.

Leev let out a shriek of pure agony, unlike any sound Cassian had heard from a human before. If he was not being held up, he would have surely crumpled to the floor, doubled over in excruciating pain. His face was a horrible shade of red, a blood vessel throbbing on the left side of his forehead as he made unintelligible begging sounds.

Cassian tried to look away, but when he made to lower his head, he felt an invisible hand reach out to keep it firmly level with the scene in front of him. With gritted teeth, Cassian made every effort to fight against it, feeling the hand grip tighter until he tasted blood on his tongue.

“You will look at him, Captain Andor. You will watch him tear his own mind apart ‘til you feel ready to tell me more about this message.”

So this was it. Lord Vader was controlling both Cassian and Leev with the force. Cassian knew several Imperial leaders possessed these great abilities, but the young captain had never seen them used in such a violent manner. What he had seen before had come from rebels, Fulcrum and Jarrus of an off-base rebel cell, but nothing they had done had brought about anything like this. This was far from the peaceful defenders he had encountered, far from anything he had seen before.

“You can stop this any time, Cassian. You’ve become a prisoner to your mind, but it’s okay to let that go.” Vader’s tone was suddenly more calm, less demanding, and it frightened Cassian more than anything. It was as though the man was inside his head, playing with his mind until Cassian could bear it no longer. But even so, he was not the one truly being hurt in that moment, and it weighed on him that Leev would surely die if Cassian did not speak up.

He couldn’t, though, or at least that was what he told himself. If he caved, they would both be killed, as soon as the Empire got what they wanted. Everything Cassian had spent years fighting for would have been in vain. Still his silence persisted.

And all too suddenly, everything else went silent around him too, Leev’s cries cut off as though his breath had been taken from him.

“You clearly need to think this through–” Vader left the sentence open, like he was not sure whether he wished to say anything more or not. With a twitch of his hand, the slightest of movements, Leev gave a choking cry before his head fell lifelessly against his chest. A wave of the hand, and the troopers were out the door, dragging the man between them as though they were not phased at all by the actions of their leader. For all Cassian knew, this happened all too often that it had become a regular occurrence. Cassian, though–– for him this was all new.

Vader turned to the officer still standing by the door. “Take him back to the cell. We will try again after he’s had some time to weigh his options.” Seconds later, the officer had him by the arm, leading him back the way he had come. As he passed the dark figure, he was stopped momentarily. “Do try to understand, it would be wise for you to comply next time we meet.” Again Cassian bit the inside of his cheek, staring straight ahead through the open door. Vader must have waved them away like he had with the troopers, as he once more was being escorted back to the prison cell.

~~~

He was there once more for only a fraction of his original wait, when a rebel explosion caused a commotion large enough for Draven and a small extraction team to get Cassian to safety. Three weeks in med bay for malnourishment and psych evaluations– and two firm scoldings from his superior officers later– and he was back to work, being briefed for his next assignment. A scar just below his bottom lip was quickly covered up as Cassian willingly refused to shave the facial hair grown over the mark. A physical reminder hidden from prying eyes.

Years later, the week spent on the star destroyer still influenced so much of his life, of the decisions he made in the field. Where Leev once stood was now Tivik, the frightened informant with a wounded arm, who would be Cassian’s downfall if he let them get too close once more. Remembering Leev and the endless torture he was put through right in front of Cassian’s eyes, he knew his decision to pull the trigger was the right one.

They would’ve caught you, Tivik. You would’ve broken. You would’ve died. And neither of us would deliver your message.*

Days later, on Jedha, he found himself in a prison cell once more. When prompted by Chirrut to calm down, once more Cassian found himself lying. He told the man and his friend he had never been imprisoned before. It was a lie he’d taught himself to tell, only a month after he had returned to the base from his capture. The less people knew about his past, the easier it was to pretend it had never happened. The easier it became to push the past aside, the less shame burdened his mind whenever he closed his eyes and saw Leev’s tortured expression play out across his eyelids.

The guardian’s next comment struck a chord, reminded him too much of the words a man clothed in black once used to coax a secret out of him. Cassian turned away this time, was given the freedom to ignore this man’s words, but it did not prove that easy. Chirrut had seen enough to know Cassian had lied to him, probably knew that his words had hit deeper than he intended, because he spoke no more.

One more payment.*

#blood tw #death tw #violence tw #torture tw #ptsd cw #blood cw #death cw #violence cw #torture cw #didn't know how much to tag it so i'm going on the safe side of things #✧┆ʷʰᵃᵗ ᵈᵒᵉˢ ᶤᵗ ᵐᵃᵗᵗᵉʳ ᶤᶠ ᶤ ˡᶤᵉ ᵗᵒ ʸᵒᵘ ( headcanon )

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ciathyzareposts · 6 years ago

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Star Control II: Summary and Rating

For the box art, the developers seem to be paying homage to L. Ron Hubbard.

Star Control II: The Ur-Quan Masters

United States

Toys for Bob (developer); Accolade (publisher)

Released in 1992 for DOS, 1994 for the 3DO console; later fan ports to other platforms

Date Started: 23 March 2019

Date Finished: 14 May 2019

Total Hours: 47 Difficulty: Moderate (3/5) Final Rating: (to come later) Ranking at time of posting: (to come later)

Summary:

Star Control II takes the ship-by-ship action combat of the original Star Control and places it solidly within an adventure game of epic proportions. In a galaxy of more than 500 stars and 3,000 planets, a captain must build alliances, find artifacts, mine minerals, and coerce information from alien races so that he can ultimately throw off the yoke of the Ur-Quan Hierarchy and free Earth and its allies from slavery. Gameplay comes with a lot of lore and plot-twists, but every so often it reveals its origins and requires the player to defeat enemy ships with selects from his own armada, each with their own strengths, weaknesses, and special abilities. Although the sense of an open world and a nonlinear plot both end up being somewhat illusory, the game is still fun and memorable.

****

In the comments for my winning entry, several readers have offered descriptions and text that occurs when you try some of the game’s alternate strategies, such as surrendering to the Ur-Quan, provoking the Orz, or selling your own crewmembers to the Druuge. Most of them are either dead-ends or offer such harsh consequences that you’d best not do them in the first place.

One thing I was curious to check out is what happens if you wait out the game’s time limit. The Melnorme originally told me that the Earth would be destroyed in January or February of 2159, but my actions in the game managed to delay the apocalypse by almost two years. As I sat in hyperspace and watched, nothing much happened until November 2159, when the Supox and Utwig returned to their original systems, much diminished.

No one remains but the Ur-Quan.

Around the end of 2159, the Kor-Ah won the civil war and started to circle the galaxy, destroying each sentient race in turn. Some of their ships reached Earth in April, but they weren’t here to destroy Earth just yet. I fought a few dreadnoughts and the horde moved on. The Arilou, Umgah, and Zoq-Fot-Pik were all gone by June 2160, the Supox and Utwig a month later. By October 2160, the Ur-Quan fleet had reached the “southern” end of the galaxy and destroyed the Yehat. Finally, in November, I received a broadcast from the Ur-Quan notifying me of Earth’s destruction, and the game was over. My ship was parked right next to Earth at the time, and I was hoping I’d see a bunch of dreadnoughts approaching it, but alas, it wasn’t quite that detailed.

The “bad” ending, unless you’re a big Ur-Quan fan.

If I hadn’t cheated a bit during the game by reloading when an expedition proved a waste of time, I probably would have run into issues with the time limit. Watching the slow destruction of every race, along with the intelligence that they possessed, would have been mildly horrifying. But apparently you can still win the game at any time during this process, with nothing altered in the endgame sequence.

I confess that the last bit bothers me a little because it’s indicative of the approach taken by the game as a whole. When I started playing Star Control II, it gave the impression of an open-world game with multiple narrative possibilities. But it turns out you have to follow a few paths in a relatively specific order, and most of the choices turn out to be illusory. Oh, it certainly does better than the typical RPG of the period, I hasten to add. It was just a bit disappointing to find that open exploration isn’t really rewarded. If you’re lucky enough to stumble upon a key location amidst all the planets in the vast galaxy, you probably won’t be able to do anything because you haven’t bought an important piece of information from the Melnorme first.

I have similarly mixed feelings about the game’s approach to the alien races and racial characterizations. On the one hand, I enjoyed the variety. When you’re making a game (as opposed to shooting a film or television show), you have the freedom to make some interesting races without worrying about the CGI budget. I appreciated that there were no “bumpy forehead” aliens except perhaps for the Syreen.

I could have done with less of this.

I also don’t fault the game for broad characterizations. It’s a longstanding trope of science fiction and fantasy to paint races with a broad brush: the wise elves, the logical Vulcans, the proud Klingons, the evil orcs, and so forth. You rarely have time to explore the detailed characteristics of an entire culture. It’s perfectly acceptable that Star Control II decided to highlight one major attribute of each race, such as cowardice, depression, loneliness, and greed. When it did go into more detail, such as in the case of the Ur-Quan and the Syreen, the detail was generally good, and it was rewarding to unlock those stories. I also appreciated the consistency of characterization. The Spathi locking themselves under their own slave shield amused me to no end because it was perfectly in keeping with the Spathi personality–and, in hindsight, 100% foreseeable.

But I also felt there were too many moments of outright goofiness and parody among the racial interactions. The Orz, the Pkunk, the VUX, the Umgah, and the Utwig mostly just exhausted my patience. I couldn’t help but think how the same races with similar characteristics might be handled with less silliness. We don’t have to look very far to find an example. Starflight and Starflight II had some of the same broad racial characterizations, but rarely crossed the line into outright slapstick. I felt the stories and plot twists of those games were much better, too.

Nonetheless, I understand why Star Control II is regarded as the better game: it’s all about the combat. I wasn’t any good at it, but I can see why people like it. Until I played it, I wouldn’t have thought that a single choice–what ship to pilot–could have so many tactical implications. There are 14 ships that can join the New Alliance and 13 potential enemy ships, resulting in 182 potential battle combinations, and each has completely different tactical considerations. (With the Super Melee application, you can fight any of the ships against any of the others, for 625 possible combinations.) Slowly mastering the strengths of your ships and learning the weaknesses of the enemy ships is a huge and rewarding part of gameplay. Later in the game, when you have to fight multiple ships in a row, there are strategic implications for what ships you send into combat first and which you reserve for later in the battle.

The typical outcome of my combats.

Still, the nature of combat, plus the lack of “character development,” really makes this a non-RPG, which means it might not do so well on the GIMLET as an RPG. I played it as an exception. I don’t want to hear any future comments along the lines of, “Well, you played Star Control II, so to be consistent, you should also play This Game.” The point of exceptions is that I don’t have to be consistent with them.

As to the GIMLET:

1. Game World. Star Control II manages to check most of the boxes in this category. It has a rich, detailed backstory, an open world, a clear place for the character and his quest, and an evolving game state that responds to the player’s actions. (I particularly like how the starmap continually updates to show the dispositions of the various races.) The plot and its twists are original and interesting. The only fault I can find is that there isn’t much to see or do in the open universe. I wish the creators had seeded more planets with optional encounters and finds, perhaps replacing the system but which you purchase all your technology upgrades from the Melnorme. Score: 8.

2. Character Creation and Development. Alas, there is none of either except for the ability to name your own captain. Even if you regard the ship as a “character,” it doesn’t get innately better so much as it gains better equipment. Score: 0.

3. NPC Interaction. Another strong point. I’ve given my thoughts about the NPC personalities, but I should add that even goofy personalities are better than we get from the typical RPG of the period, which is no personality (or even NPCs) at all. I wish there had been more honest variety in dialogue options instead of one that’s obvious, two that are stupid, and one that’s evil. The Starflight games did a better job giving the player real “options” when talking to different alien races even though they came in the form of “stances” rather than specific dialogue choices.

I should also note that most NPCs aren’t individuals but rather representatives of their races who somehow know the previous conversations the player has had with other representatives. But the game otherwise hits most of the criteria for a high score hear, including a plot that advances based on NPC interaction. Score: 7.

My thoughts exactly.

4. Encounters and Foes. The game has an original slate of foes (ships) that require you to learn their individual strengths and weaknesses. There are otherwise no real “encounters” in the game that aren’t also NPC dialogues. Score: 6.

5. Magic and Combat. I can’t give a high score here because my scale is about RPG-style combat and the various tactics and strategies that draw from attributes, skills, and the player’s intelligence rather than his dexterity. Still, as I discussed above, the choice of ship and the way you plot long combats create some important tactical and strategic decisions. I just wish combat has always been about ship versus ship. The planets, which show up suddenly as you switch screens, were unwelcome guests. Score: 3.

The asteroids, on the other hand, I didn’t mind so much.

6. Equipment. All of the “equipment” in the game is ship-related rather than character-related, and it all applies to the flagship, which a good player arguably does not rely on. I wish there had been opportunities to upgrade the other ships in the fleet. It would have been tough to offer meaningful options with so many of them, but even just generic attack or defense improvements would have been nice. Beyond that, it’s fun to figure out how to best make use of the limited modular space on the flagship, particularly as new options come along regularly. Score: 3.

7. Economy. There are really two economies in the game: the “resource unit” economy that lets you build a fleet and equip your flagship, and the Melnorme “information” economy that depends on bio data and Rainbow World identifications. I found both rewarding enough for about two-thirds of the game. Score: 7.

8. Quests. The game has one main quest with a few options (though, as I mentioned before, a lot of the options are illusory) and side-quests. There’s only one ending. Score: 4.

9. Graphics, Sound, and Inputs. I don’t have many complaints in this category. The graphics are perfectly fine for the scope and nature of the game; the sound effects are fun and evocative throughout; and it’s hard to complain about the interface of a game that supports both joystick and keyboard inputs and lets you customize the keyboard. I had problems in combat despite these advantages, but I don’t think I can blame the game.

I do have one major issue, or several related issues, that fits into this category. The dialogue is delivered one line at a time in a huge font. You can hit the SPACE bar after each bit of dialogue to see a transcription in a smaller font that you can barely read. Either way, if you don’t make your own transcriptions or screen shots (which must have been tough for an era player), the dialogue is lost once you leave the screen. In most cases, you can’t prompt the NPC to speak the same lines again, and there’s no databank in which to retrieve it as there was in Star Control II. Thankfully, I took copious screenshots, but they’re a cumbersome way to review previous dialogue and I think the game should have offered a better system. Score: 6.

This text is better than nothing, but it’s still not very easy to read.

10. Gameplay. I give half-credit for non-linearity. The game is more linear than it seems when you start, but you still have a lot of choices about the order of your activities. I also give half-credit for replayability. As I mentioned earlier, many of the “options” seem illusory, and a replaying player might find himself swiftly on familiar paths, but there is at least some variety for a replay. The hourly total is just about right for this content, and while I had difficulty in combat, I still managed to win with an acceptable number of reloads, so I can’t fault the difficulty. Score: 7.

That gives us a final score of 51, surprisingly close to the 53 I gave both Starflight and Starflight II, which had actual characters and character development. But reviewing those games, I’m reminded how awful combat was, and how many issues I had with the interface. I’m thus comfortable with the rating.

The ad makes it seem like the game’s enemies are the Umgah.

There are plenty of players, however, who would consider a 51 an insult. Star Control II still continues to make “best games ever” lists compiled by various publications. In a March 1993 preview in Computer Gaming World, Stanley Trevena liked the game enough to put it on his “top ten list of all time.” “It is not often,” he says, “that such a perfect balance is struck between role-playing, adventure, and action/arcade.” In the November 1993 issue, they gave it “Game of the Year” in the adventure category (or, at least, it tied with Eric the Unready). Dragon gave it 5 out of 5 stars. It’s rare to find an English review out of the 90s, though for some reason European reviews tended to put it lower, in the 70s.

The 3DO version from 1994 has some significant differences from the DOS version. It has an animated, narrated introduction and cut scenes plus voiced dialogue for the conversations. (My understanding is that the open-source Ur-Quan Masters would use some of this voiced dialogue but re-record others.) Some readers encouraged me to play this version specifically because of the voices. I’m not sure I would have liked it better. There’s really just too much dialogue overall. Some of the voices are good: I appreciate the Vaderesque bass of the Ur-Quan, the lispy enthusiasm of the Pik, and the weird Scottish accent the creators gave to the Yehat. For some reason, they decided the Shofixti was a bad English translator of a 1970s Japanese kung-fu movie; the Orz, Spathi, and Utwig are just annoying; and the Umgah is the stuff of nightmares. The Talking Pet is the worst, with some ridiculous southern “Joe Sixpack” accent. I was also disappointed by the Syreen, who sounds like Doris Day rather than . . . well, honestly, I’m not sure what would have done justice to the Syreen. How do you blend a fierce Amazonian and a seductive vixen in a single voice?

Star Control II left a satisfying number of mysteries, such as the fate of the Precursors and why they seemed (to the Slylandro) to be nervously searching for something. We never learned about the Rainbow Worlds or why they (apparently) form an arrow pointing to the “northeast” of the galaxy. We never learned what the Orz did to the Androsynth, what the Orz really are, and how they relate to the Arilou. I was disappointed that we never found out why the Ur-Quan destroyed historical structures of humanity, including some places we weren’t even aware of. I was disappointed to find that most of these questions are unanswered in Star Control 3 (1996), although we do apparently learn that the Precursors genetically modified themselves so they would have the intelligence of cows, thus protecting themselves from a race that periodically harvests the energies of sentient races. I think the creators missed an opportunity by not making the Precursors actual cows. There could have been a Gary Larson tie-in and everything.

The creepy cover to the game’s sequel.

The direction of Star Control 3 reveals some of the background drama between developer Toys for Bob (authors Paul Reiche III and Fred Ford) and publisher Accolade. According to Reiche and Ford, Accolade gave the developer such a limited budget that they had to essentially work for free for half a year to create a quality game. Accolade would not increase the budget for the sequel, so the original creators refused to develop it, and the job went to Legend Entertainment instead.

In 2002, authors Paul Reiche III and Fred Ford made the source code available for free, and some fans used it to create The Ur-Quan Masters for Windows, with multiple releases starting in 2005. It has since been ported to multiple additional platforms. The effort also led to the creation of the Ultronomicon, a Star Control II wiki.

The Star Control trademark passed to Infogrames when it purchased Accolade in 1999; Infogrames soon rebranded itself as Atari. When Atari filed for bankruptcy in 2013, its assets were sold. Stardock Corporation managed to acquire the Star Control license and produce Star Control: Origins (2018). Set 26 years before the original Star Control, the game would seem to retcon when Earth first encountered alien life. During development, Stardock claimed to be in contact with Reiche and Ford, and were developing the game along their vision, although they couldn’t technically participate because of their Activation contract. If this relationship was ever friendly and cooperative, it soon became otherwise when Reiche and Ford announced they would be creating Star Control: Ghosts of the Precursors and Stardock started selling the first three Star Control games on Steam. Both parties counter-sued each other for copyright and intellectual property violations, and Steam removed the Star Control titles (including Origins, at least temporarily) after receiving DCMA takedown notices from Reiche and Ford. As far as I can tell, the litigation is still ongoing.

Combat in Origins has improved graphics but seems to adhere to original principles.

Toys for Bob still lives as a subsidiary of Activision, and Reiche and Ford still continue to direct the development of its games. I don’t think we’ll see them again, however, as none of their titles are RPGs. (For more on Reiche and Ford, see Jimmy Maher’s excellent coverage of Star Control II from this past December. My favorite part is when Reiche gets fired from TSR for questioning the purchase of a Porsche as an executive’s company car.)

I am often dismissive of calls for remakes, usually considering them to be the products of dull, dilettante gamers who can’t handle any graphics more than 5 years old. But I would like to see, if not a remake, a modern game that has the basic approach of Star Control II (and, for that matter, Starflight)–perhaps even one that realizes it better by offering truly alternate plot paths. We have plenty of games (although, in my opinion, not enough) that allow us to explore open worlds; have any so far allowed us to explore an open universe? Perhaps that’s what we’ll get from Bethesda’s forthcoming Starfield.

source http://reposts.ciathyza.com/star-control-ii-summary-and-rating/

#retro games #dos games #retro #crpg #adventure #amiga #oldcomputers #8bit #16bit #blog #repost

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