#(its so rough and a nightmare to work with. n also these last few years theyve become

[typheus]

my game is out for delivery 👁️🫦👁️

[kikixreverie]

Crawl home to her

Bucky Barnes x fem!enhanced!reader

Summary - Bucky's nightmares never seem to stop, and he despises himself for dragging you down with him.

Word count - 1.7k

Warnings - Angst, descriptions of torture, descriptions of seizures, PTSD, mentions of blood, sad fluff at the end.

A/N - Reader does have powers in this fic which aren't really explained but hopefully they're easy to understand, I kind of imagine them to be similar to Wanda's in certain aspects. Also, apologies if my writing is kinda wordy in this, I kinda went off on one and couldn't stop. Enjoy :)

The title is based off a lyric from work song by hozier.

__________________________

It was like something carved from a horror movie.

The giant, hulking figure emerging from the chamber, the surrounding air clouded with vapor so cold it burned to the touch.

His face was concealed, a black mask and goggles hiding the human features beneath, with silver, reflective metal taking the place of his left arm, gleaming in the yellow overhead lights. He looked solely like something built for destruction.

The soldier was put in the chair before he could even comprehend that he was awake.

They had strapped his wrists to metal, encasing his head in a familiar contraption and his mouth was forced open by rough hands on his jaw, rubber shoved between his teeth.

He was vaguely aware of the routine. Everything was familiar in a way that made his skin crawl and his hair stand on end, but for all he knew, there was no reason to be scared, soldiers don't feel fear, and emotion only gets in the way of the mission.

He could barely taste the bitterness of the rubber before he heard the whir of a machine begin, and he was so mind-numbingly cold that he could almost barely feel the electricity suddenly tearing through his skull.

He didn't scream, he barely moved, and it would be easy to wonder if he could even feel it, or if pain was just another thing that Hydra took from him, just to strip him even further of his humanity, but he felt every second, his body just too in shock to react, convulsing in his restrains.

The agony seemed to last hours, pain so intense that he could barely breathe, but the machine eventually came to a slow halt, the rubber taken from his mouth, and the soldier heaved his first full breath in what felt like years, the cold air filling his lungs too fast and ripping back through his oesophagus in painful coughs.

Once the coughing had ended, he let his head fall back against the leather beneath him.

His veins were on fire, crawling in his skin as icy heat travelled up his forearm and carved its way through his neck, residing in his temples with a throbbing headache. His jaw ached, as did every single muscle in his body and when he rolled his eyes open, he found that the bright lights surrounding him kept him blind to the people standing in the room, crowding around the soldier writhing and twitching in the chair as if he was some kind of circus monkey to be watched for their amusement.

He managed to unclench his fists and release his jaw, feeling his body go lax for a few seconds before he felt a spike in his heart rate, his muscles tensing against his will as his eyes rolled back.

Then he was gone, unaware of the stares of the doctors writing on their notepads when he began seizing for the first time this session. None of them stepped forward, not a single medic attempted to check on the soldier, or wipe the blood that spilled from his lips when his teeth clamped down onto his tongue.

He was only given a few seconds of refuge after the seizure had ended, before he was torn away again, his body taken with another, and another, and another. It was endless.

His chest spasming with every gasping breath, every muscle in his body clenched painfully. He wasn't present enough to see a man in a white coat move closer to him, positioning the headpiece over his face again and this time not even bothering with the mouthguard before the electricity returned, and his brain caught fire again.

This time, he screamed until the sound died in his throat and his vocal cords refused to make any more noise. A vague image of a man with blonde hair, standing straight with a shield pulled to his chest, flashed behind his eyes, and a part of him felt relieved at the sight, as if the man in his memories could somehow save him from this living hell, but the thought disappeared before he could even acknowledge it, and this time, when the machine finally stopped, he passed out before he could feel the after affects, pulled under when his body and mind could no longer handle the agony, deciding to just completely shut down instead.

______________________

You woke with a start, Bucky's harrowing scream beside you as you sat up so fast your head spun, and you stretched out an arm into the darkness, searching for the table lamp to your right and wasting no time in turning it on, bathing your bedroom in warm light.

Crawling onto your knees, tears were already forming wet tracks down your cheeks as your lover cried out in his sleep, his eyes darting back and forth rapidly behind his eyelids, hair stuck to his forehead, bare chest glistening with a sheen of sweat as he heaved for breath.

You reached for him and pressed your hand against his forehead, no hesitation as your eyes glowed unnaturally in the dim light, forcing Bucky awake with your ability.

There was no way you'd let him sleep through that one, no matter what his therapist demands.

Bucky's eyes tore open as he gasped for air, staring up at the ceiling with wide, unblinking eyes.

"Bucky?" You asked quietly, not wanting to risk startling him further as your hand hovered over his shaking form.

He looked at you, relief flashing in his eyes before he eyed the tears dripping down your chin and his mind clouded with guilt.

It was too often that you found yourself falling into Bucky's dreams. And no matter how many times you tried to convince him that it wasn't his fault, he'd never believe you, he knew better, and he knew how your powers worked.

He pulled himself up, resting his back against the headboard and letting his eyes fall shut for a moment, listening to your racing heartbeat with the saddest look on his face. He then opened his eyes, a tear of his own falling down his cheek as he looked at you and parted his lips with a shaky breath, "I did it again, didn't I?"

His voice sounded broken, shot from all the screaming he had done before, it broke your heart and you leapt forward, wrapping your arms around him and letting him hold you tightly, clutching you to his frame as he cried, repeating over and over how sorry he was.

You stroked his hair affectionately as you both cried.

"It's okay Buck, it's not your fault."

He was so distraught by his nightmares, that he was reaching out for you in his sleep, pulling you from your own mind and trapping you into his, forcing you to witness the horrific things that Bucky endured, or the things that he did.

Each time it happened, he blamed himself, despising the fact that he was forcing you to live his trauma, but you would never stop reminding him that it was okay, you'd seen much worse, and he would always be worth it.

Sometimes a deep-rooted, selfish part of him would be glad for your abilities, he doesn't have to explain to you the horrors he had faced in his past, you'd seen them for yourself, lived his darkest moments through his own eyes, but then the guilt would creep in, washing away the thoughts every time he woke up trembling with fear, and you'd be there beside him, shaking just the same.

He apologised to you again as the tears came to a slow stop, his face still buried in the crook of your neck, shivering against you when your fingers dragged softly across his spine, soothing him just the way you always did.

You pulled back this time, hand reaching for his jaw when he refused to look at you, tilting his head for his eyes to meet yours, and your face was serious as you spoke.

"You have nothing to apologise for, James. I want to help. If I couldn't handle this, love, I wouldn't be here, but I love you, and I want to stay." You assured him, your gaze flicking between his eyes, urging him to believe you, to stop carrying this guilt he had no reason to carry.

"I just- You don't need to see any of that." He whispered back, eyes red and bloodshot, breath shaky.

You smiled softly at him, your right hand sliding to the back of his neck, as you pushed his head down to yours, resting your forehead against his, noses brushing together, a simple action so intense and intimate that Bucky gulped, his eyebrows tightly furrowed.

"I'm okay, Bucky, I promise you, I'm okay," Your warm breath fanned against his lips as you spoke, and his eyes fluttered shut, "I just want to take care of you."

A shaky breath fell from his lips, cursing the tears that threatened to return at such simple words, but fuck if they didn't hit him hard.

He couldn't remember a time when someone had wanted to take care of him, not since he was a young boy, before his father died, before he had to step up to take care of his mother and sisters, working illegal shifts at the local factory at the age of 15.

But you wanted to take care of him.

He leaned forward and locked his lips with yours, his hands reaching out to pull you closer and closer in hopes that you'd eventually sink into his chest, finally close enough that his constant need for your touch would be satiated.

He broke away to speak against your lips, so magnetised to your kiss that he couldn't possibly pull back far enough to breathe air that wasn't your own, "Thank you."

[nightwishesworld]

hello! do you think you could do a chapter with fem!reader whose afraid of thunderstorms and wakes up in the middle of the night because of it but doesn’t wanna wake alcina so she just stays awake but the storm goes on for like a week and this keeps happening until she notices and comforts you through it by like cuddles or talking you to sleep to distract you from it :)

Oh my god I hate the way this came out. My brain just could not process this for some reason. I also couldn't make it as long as a week, my apologies.

**************

One dark evening at Castle Dimitrescu a storm rolled in. Relatively speaking, it was quite harmless and most of the inhabitants of the castle were unbothered by the storm.

Except you.

Late into the evening, whilst most were asleep, the storm was at its strongest - the crackle of thunder rolling through the halls as flashes of lightning illuminated the darkest corners of the room. You were trying to sleep, honest, but just as you felt the drowsiness of rest come to take you - a loud crack of thunder would jolt you awake and paralyze you with fear.

You sat with your back against the headboard, your breathing rapid.

You pulled the covers up to your chest and hugged your pillow close to your chest. Resisting the urge to run and hide in the closet like you used to do as a kid was becoming more and more difficult.

Another flash, another boom.

You knew it wasn’t logical, but you couldn’t stop yourself from flinching or jumping as the sounds of the storm roared outside. It was just so loud and you could swear the castle was shaking with it.

You squeezed your eyes shut, white-knuckling the pillow held tight against your chest and humming a song to yourself in order to distract your brain.

The sound of constant rain was suddenly accompanied by heavy hail falling, and that’s when the thoughts started charging at you full force.

What if the lightning strikes the castle? What if the castle collapsed? Did it have the right infrastructure? What if-

“Stop it, God. Stop it!” You begged your brain but to no avail. Your mind kept generously providing you with possibilities and images you did not ask for.

Another loud boom and this time you couldn’t help the cry let out before clapping a hand over your mouth and diving under the blankets.

When you didn’t hear anything for a few minutes you felt it safe enough to come out of hiding. Thankfully the vampire slumbering next to you wasn’t disturbed by your pathetic cries and whimpers. She had a rough day dealing with a very pissed off Mother Miranda and needed rest and relaxation as much as she could possibly get.

You forced yourself to lay still on your back and focus all your energy on controlling your breathing. That was the key to saving yourself a panic attack. You don’t know how long you were staring up at the ceiling, but dawn eventually came and your partner stirred from her sleep.

She would have been happy to see you if not for the redness in your eyes and puffiness surrounding them, obvious signs of lack of sleep.

“Are you alright, draga mea?” She wrapped her arms around your midsection and rested her head on your shoulder, kissing your cheek.

You didn’t answer, even though you knew Alcina wouldn’t just drop the question. She was sweet and caring like that, which is probably why you never had the heart to tell her how much of a coward you actually are.

“You didn’t sleep very well, did you?”

“Nightmares,” you rasped, trying to focus on Alcina more than the low rumbling outside. “I’ll be fine after a cup of coffee.”

She looked as though she didn’t accept that answer but quickly hid any doubts behind a warm smile. “If you’re sure.”

It felt wrong lying to her. You had never felt the need to hide anything from Alcina before, but this was just embarrassing. She’d probably laugh at you told her you were still afraid of thunderstorms.

The day progressed with relative normalcy despite the occasional sounds of rumbling. Alcina busied herself dealing with the mountain of paperwork on her desk for Mother Miranda and the girls were running amuck in the basement. Depending on which room you were in you could hear their laughter below you. Their mischief down there has always been a mystery to you, even now after living in the castle a couple of years. You knew what they were doing, but couldn't fathom the idea of enjoying it so much. You did find it rather disturbing that their torturing frightened you less than a stupid thunderstorm.

You huddled in the back section of the library behind the bookshelves so you couldn’t see the lightning out the windows. The loud rumbling still had you on edge, but a good book is always a welcome distraction. It worked so well, that you didn't hear Daniela approaching. You practically jumped three feet in the air when she was stood in front of you.

“What’s wrong with you?” Daniela asked, her voice was stern, but it also had a concerning tone to it. She had dropped her bag, keeping the knife at her side. Your breathing was heavier than usual as you tried to think of what to say. It was more than embarrassing to tell Daniela the truth. You knew for a fact she out of everyone in the castle would laugh at you. "You scared me,"

She rolled her eyes. "No, Dummy, I mean what's really wrong?"

You shrug and turn the page of your book. “Nothing.”

Another boom. You couldn’t fight off flinched.

“Oh, I think I get it. You’re afraid of-”

“Don’t tell anyone.” You clenched your fists, shutting your eyes tightly. Daniela wanted to laugh, but she didn’t. You watched as she cautiously sat back down. The redhead sat in front of you, the rain somehow sounding even louder than it had before. You looked over at Daniela, feeling the embarrassment creep upon you.

Daniela started at you with a rather confused expression, resting her arms on her knees. “Out of everything we’ve been through,” she began, “everything you’ve seen us do. Everything that goes on in this castle just below your feet,” she paused. “And you’re scared of thunder?”

You sat silently and twiddled your thumbs.

“Why?”

“Doesn’t matter,” you whisper. “It’s not important. You’re only going to run off and tell everyone.”

Daniela rolled her eyes and picked up her bag, headed once again for the basement. “Whatever, y/n, have it your way.”

You spent the rest of the afternoon and early evening shuffling around the library hiding from the white flashes. It was only when Daniela came to fetch you for dinner that you left. Luckily you were eating in the kitchen instead of the larger Dining Hall. The kitchen is much more manageable; marginally fewer windows to see the lightning. The meal carried on as it normally would; the girls boasted about their successes in the basement, Alcina discusses all the work she got done today and complains about the work she put off for tomorrow. It was almost enough to take your mind off the chaos happening just outside the windows. Almost.

The storm carried on just as confidently throughout the evening and into the night. It showed no signs of relenting, which in turn meant another sleepless night.

You wasted no time stripping your clothes and crawling into bed, back to the open windows. Alcina didn’t think much of it, simply chalking it up to being exhausted from the previous night’s lack of sleep. She wasn’t completely wrong, you did feel like you were ready to sleep for the next 24 hours. But you knew the storm wouldn’t allow you that luxury.

Pressure against your back and an arm wrapping around your midsection snapped you out of your thoughts.

“I hope you sleep tonight, my love.”

“Me too.”

An hour later and you were still wide awake listening to the rain being pelted against the windows. An anxious voice whispered impossible scenarios of the rain breaking through the windows and lightning striking you down in the safety of your bed. You tried your hardest to not toss and turn as to not disturb the woman next to you. She's not asleep yet, you can tell by the lack of snoring, but her breathing is starting to even out. You were curled up on your side, back to Alcina. She wrapped you in her arms, her chest against your back and arm across your waist. "Dove..." she whispered in your ear. "Y/n... "

"I'm sleeping, Al." You murmured snuggling further into the vampire’s arms, your eyes still closed.

"No, you're not." She stroked your side absently. “Are you sure you’re ok? You aren’t falling ill are you?”

You sigh. “No, I’m not getting sick. My body is just too exhausted to relax.”

Alcina hummed, burrowing her face in the crook of your neck. “I’ll stay up with you for a while.”

“You will not. Go to sleep Al, I’ll be fine. You had a long day yourself, one of us should be able to sleep."

"Why don't we go sit in the Drawing Room or the Library? I'll hold you in my lap and read to you." God no. Way too many windows. "Goodnight, Alcina." You feel her sigh against your skin, pushing a few stray hairs around. "Can I do anything?" "Stop worrying, it's just insomnia." "I'll stay up with you then. You shouldn't be up all by yourself staring at the ceiling." "I'm not alone, Love, you're right here with me. Asleep or not I'm still in your arms, and that helps a lot." You feel her smile against your neck and pull you closer against her front. "wake me if you need anything."

You actually slept fairly well; only waking up a few times to have Alcina soothe you back to sleep. Being tucked away in her embrace did a world of help, but you still woke up hours before Alcina did. Her eyes fluttered open and focus on your groggy face. She frowns.

"Did you sleep at all?"

You smile and kiss her lips. "Yes, I actually slept a lot better last night than before."

"Good," she pulls you back to kiss you again.

*******************************************************************************************

Later in the afternoon Bela and Cassandra invited (dragged you really) into the Drawing Room to play a game of cards.

Everything was going really well. You were laughing and playing with the girls like everything was as it should be in Castle Dimitrescu.

You were made astutely aware of the situation outside again when a loud crack of thunder shook the castle. There was another flash and clap of thunder, this time loud enough to make Cassandra flinch.

You abruptly shot up from the table. “Sorry. I need a minute.” You rushed down the hall into one of the guest rooms. Cassandra and Bela shared a confused glance and watched as you hurried away. They’d never seen you so flighty and nervous before. Neither could tell what was wrong.

They laid on the carpet and silently counted to sixty before following you to down the corridor.

“Y/n?” Bela softly knocked on the door. “It’s been a minute.”

There was no response. More thunder. Bela frowned. “We’re coming in, okay?”

She opened the door a crack and poked her head inside. You were nowhere to be seen. “Y/n?” Cassandra called, stepping further inside and glancing around the room. The sisters checked under the bed, then under the covers, even under the shade of the bedside lamp. Then Bela peered out of the rain-soaked window for good measure. Where else could you be?

Just as Cassandra decided she was stumped, she heard a rustling from behind her and a muffled, “I’m in here.” She turned around in confusion because the only place they hadn’t checked in that direction was…

They crept over to the closet and carefully slid open the door. The girls smiled when they found you sitting on the ground, curled up with your head between your knees. “Playing hide and seek now, are we?” Bela said. “Next round I call being the— um, y/n?”

“I’m fine,” you mumbled, staying right where you were. “Sorry.”

“S-Sorry for what…?” Cassandra crouched down beside you. The closet almost had enough space for the three of you to fit.

“Y/n, please. Something’s obviously bothering you, can’t you tell us?”

All three of you startled as another flash of lightning cut into the room, followed by another growl of thunder. You tightened your grip around your legs. Bela’s jaw dropped.

“It’s the storm,” she said, half a question, half a statement. “You’re scared of thunder?”

“It’s childish.”

“Oh, y/n…”

“I’m weak. Something as dumb and simple as loud noises shouldn’t make me so—”

“Y/n. Look at me.” Cassandra’s gently stern tone convinced you to move your head so your chin rested on your knees. You side-eyed the girls, trying to imitate your usual stoicism. It was difficult with red-rimmed eyes.

“A phobia doesn’t make you childish, or weak— do you know how many people have a fear of thunder, y/n? A lot of humans.”

“A lot of Uncle Heisenberg’s lycans as well,” Bela chimed in.

“And are you going to go around insulting them? No, Y/n, because that’s not nice. So don’t insult yourself for the same thing.” Cassandra waved around her index finger as she spoke. Your eyes widened and followed the movement. Both girls laughed.

“Is that what’s been giving you nightmares?”

You shake your head. “I just haven’t been sleeping; too tense.”

Cassandra giggled. “Just ask mother for extra cuddles, not like she’ll say no.”

“Or a more intimate distraction,” Bela winked.

Both sisters giggle at the blush creeping on your cheeks.

“Can we sit here with you?” Bela asked, already taking the vacant spot on your right.

You shrugged— as much as you could in this balled-up position. “You don’t have to.”

“It’s ok y/n, we don’t mind.”

They sat on either side of you, Bela holding your hand, enjoying the comfortable silence that cast over you.

*******************************************************************************************

A loud crack of thunder jolted Alcina awake. Cursing to herself she eyed the clock across the room–2:06 am. Raking a hand down her face, she jolted again when another crack of thunder echoed through the castle. It wasn’t a minute later that an insistent downpour of rain started pelting the roof and windows followed by an angry howling of the wind. You stirred next to her in the bed. You were mumbling in what sounded like a mix of Romanian and English. Alcina swallowed thickly because she knew what that meant; another night terror. She laid back down and curled herself against you, cocooning herself against your back. Alcina placed a few stray kisses on your shoulders and the nape of your neck, smoothing her hands along your hipbone in the process. You calmed after a few minutes, your mumbling returning to the steadying breaths of deep sleep. Alcina sighed in relief and closed her eyes in hopes that she could drift back to sleep.

KRAK-OOOOOM!

Alcina sat up on the bed and saw you still appeared to be sleeping, though you looked somewhat agitated. She reached over and attempted to run her fingers through your hair but all that succeeded in doing was causing you to jolt awake.

You woke up with a strangled yell and starting crawling out from underneath the sheets. You sat with your back against the headboard, your breathing and heart rate rapid. Alcina crawled over and realized you were having a panic attack. “Y/n, can you hear me?” You nodded, your eyes squeezed shut as tears started leaking from the corners. You clamped a hand over your mouth, and Alcina realized you were trying to silence your breathing. “Honey no, don’t do that, just focus on me,” she pulled your hand away from your mouth slowly. You shook your head and tried to take your hand back. “No no no... I can’t- I-I-I can’t wake Al-Alcina,” you gasped. “It’s alright, Dove, just follow my breathing.” Alcina took exaggerated breaths to demonstrate. You started calming down slightly. “That’s it, everything is alright, just keep breathing.” You seemed to calm down more with the breathing exercises. “I’m going to get you a glass of water“ Alcina started to say, but was cut off by you grabbing her arm. “No! Don’t-don’t lea- don’t leave, please, don’t- don’t” you closed her eyes, her breath quickening again. “Sweetheart, breathe with me. In, out. In, out.” Alcina took your hand and put it on her chest. “Breathe with me. In, out. In, out.” Your breathing returned to normal. After sitting in silence for a bit, Alcina turned to her.

“Another night terror?” She asked. You looked away for a minute, ashamed of yourself.

“No.”

God, you probably woke her up, good job.

Alcina couldn’t keep an amused smile from forming. “Can my little dove not sleep because of the thunderstorm?”

As if on cue, a blinding bolt of lightning crackled down from the sky. The following rumble of thunder seemed to shake the castle. You let out a whimper and shielded yourself from the sky. “How could I possibly sleep when it sounds like the sky is falling?!”

Alcina hums and pulls you close against her. “There’s nothing wrong with a healthy fear, Dove. It brings out the human in you.”

“UGH! Just-!”

KRAK-OOOOOM!

Another shriek, barely muffled by Alcina’s shoulder, had you violently trembling. You were barely holding yourself together.

Wracked with terror, eyes shut tightly, you found yourself unable to prevent the reflexive compulsion to cling to something nearby.

Which, in this case, was Alcina, who was left staring in shocked silence at the violently trembling form with arms wrapped tightly around her midsection. She immediately wrapped her arms around you again and began rubbing soothing circles on your back.

“Calm down. You’re fine,” She spoke softly, ignoring the buzz under her skin as she soaked in the unwitting embrace like a dry sponge in water. Soothingly, she rubbed up to your shoulder blades. “There we are, my love,” Alcina chuckled. “I’ve got you. Listen to my voice,” She rumbled, speaking soft but firm as the thunder forced smaller tremors through the floor. “You’re going to relax. I’m going to help you. Just lay here with me and close your eyes. I’ll hold you all night if you want me to.”

Gradually, the sound faded and petered off back into the loud patter of rain against the windows but Alcina held you tightly still. She could feel the flutter of your heartbeat against her own, almost impressed that you hadn’t passed out from fear alone.

“Why didn’t you say anything? The storm’s been going on for days now you must have been petrified.”

“I didn’t want you to know,” you mumbled into her neck. “It’s a pathetic fear I’ve had since I was a kid. I don’t want you to think less of me.”

“You think something as trivial as a phobia would make me think less of you?” She pulled you even tighter against her. You melted into her embrace. “Clearly I haven’t been a very good partner to you.”

“No Al, it’s not like that. Gods, you’re an amazing partner. It’s just my stupid insecurities. You’re all so fearless and brave. You’re not afraid of anything, and then there’s me; tiny, inferior, afraid of a little thunderstorm.”

She sighed and continued rubbing circles on your back. “I’m not fearless.”

“Yeah right,” you scoff. “What could the great and powerful Alcina Dimitrescu possibly be afraid of?”

“Death.”

You wriggled out of her arms just enough to turn and face her. “What? But, you’re immortal. Death isn’t really something you have to worry about.”

She gave a small smile and brought a hand to cup your face. “I never said my death, sweet one.”

Oh...OH

“The girls are clever, they can get themselves out of most situations unscathed, but still, we can be slain. And there have been some pretty close calls in the past. And you,” she rubbed gentle circles on your cheek. “Your death is inevitable. It gnaws at the back of my mind every time I look at you. Every time morning I have to untangle myself from your embrace I remember that one day I’ll wake up alone and wish I cuddled with you for just a bit longer."

"Al, I didn't-"

"I can't always be there to protect you, including the girls. If I could take the brunt of all conflict for you I would gladly do so, but that's unfortunately not how life works. I'm just left worrying until I know for sure you're all safe."

She hummed into your neck and kissed your pulse point. "How selfish of me, I'm supposed to be comforting you, not the other way around. If I paid more attention I would have known, I’m sorry, my love.”

“Don’t apologize, just hold me.”

Alcina kissed the top of your head. “With pleasure.”

Soon enough you did fall asleep again, your arms still clinging tight around the vampire’s upper midsection. Alcina found a comfortable enough position and allowed herself to drift away as well.

[neonacity]

LUCID | NCT DREAM ‘00 LINE X READER | CH.3

LUCID DREAMS - A TYPE OF DREAM WHEREIN THE PERSON IS AWARE THAT THEY ARE CAUGHT IN A DREAM WORLD.

Summary: It was supposed to be a harmless, professional transaction. You were to tutor a group of boys, get your pay at the end of the day, and go home to your loving fiance. Kids aren’t supposed to be dangerous, right? So why, then, are you caught up in a web of madness that slowly makes you feel like you’re in a living nightmare?

A/N: Third chapter is here! Again, thank you to all those who are supporting the story. Once again, this is a yandere plot featuring NCT Dream ‘00 line which means there will be mature themes in the story as well as obsessive, toxic behavior. If you’re a minor, please refrain from interacting. If this isn’t your thing, then just scroll and skip. In no way am I condoning anything written here— this is not love, this is obsession—nor do I think that any of the people mentioned here will act any way like in this story. This is purely a work of fiction.

Genre: yandere, horror, suspense

TW: abuse, obsessive behavior, toxic relationships, suggestive scenes, stalking, possible kidnapping, mental health. Age gap–though nothing dramatic. Everyone is of legal age. Creepy, creepy, creepy! This will be updated as the story goes along.

CHAPTER 1

CHAPTER 2

“Insane madness of the living can be more, more terrible than the bloody hunger of the undead...”

― Silvia Liam

The rules of hunting down prey are simple. First, you observe to take note of their weakness, then you stalk...waiting for the right opportunity to take your shot. Hunting is more often about a game of time than aim sometimes. You jump too soon and you risk scaring your target to a successful escape, or you do it too late that you let them fully slip through your grasp. Hunting... has always been about perfect timing.

"You already know the rules of the game, right boy?"

The frail form of a seven year old child cowered against the foot of a dead tree, eyes shaking as it regarded the man leering at him. The sky was a deep dark velvet above them, and the only source of light came from the full moon that dipped in and out between the passing clouds. A bell dingled from the tight chain strapped around his left ankle when he moved, the sound causing the smile on the man's face twist into a wicked grin.

The hum of a gun being cocked sent the boy to give a choked sob. He shakily tried to stand up from his spot and pressed his palm against the rough bark of the tree to support himself, his wide eyes set on the looming form that has taken a step closer to where he stood.

"It's the first sturgeon moon tonight, so we are going to change the rules a little bit, okay?" Those words only made the child shake harder, the thin shirt he had now clinging to him like second skin due to the cold sweats gripping him.

"You run. And if I catch you, you die," the man cooed as he craned his face a bit to the side, causing the light from the moon to illuminate his features briefly. He looked handsome, inhuman, like he was one of the fallen souls exiled to earth at the beginning of times.

The man moved the arm holding his hunting gun and used it to lift the chin of the boy still cowering in front of him. He smiled—a smile so beautiful and dangerous it can make angels weep.

"But if you die, then your brothers will be the one running in this forest to take your place. So...make sure I don't catch you, hmm?"

Tears finally streamed down the bruised cheeks of the child as he realized what he was up to tonight. Eyes wide with fear, he pushed himself off the tree he was leaning on and started making a run for it.

He could still hear his words even as he dove deep into the woods, the bell on his feet masking his thundering footsteps.

"Seven bullets! You have one minute to hide, son~!"

Gunshots pierced the night air like a wailing scream.

------

Bang!

Jeno lowered his hunting rifle and let go of his breath slowly. Despite the shadows cast by the towering trees surrounding him, his eyes could still clearly see the slight flailing of the fawn he just shot before it went completely still. Above him, a flock of crows looked down on the fallen prey with their beady eyes, as if gauging the best time to dive for their feast.

He slowly picked himself up from his hiding spot, a wide oak tree with overarching branches that hid him from sight. He's been crouched there for a good half hour or so, just waiting for the fawn to finally circle the area. He's been observing it for the past week or so, taking note of its routes, and today he decided to make the kill.

Unlike other hunters, Jeno prefers the thrill that comes with stalking his prey over simply making a successful game. For him, the fun of hunting is in the process and not in its ending—a kill , after all, means nothing if you didn't work hard for it.

He looked down on the small fawn now as it lay lifeless on the mossy forest ground with its glassy eyes still open. Leaning over, he lightly pressed his hand over it to feel its heartbeat just to check if he killed it properly.

It was so beautiful and graceful just prancing in the forest a few days ago….it would be a shame if it suffers now.

"Hey, you got it?" A voice from the edge of the clearing made him look around. Haechan emerged from between the trees, his own hunting rifle slung over his shoulder.

"Yup. What did you get?"

The other boy lifted a brown sack and gave it a light shake.

"Got three rabbits. I'm too lazy to skin them here so I'll just ask Taeyong-hyung to do it. Want to go back now?"

Jeno turned to look back at the fawn in front of him briefly before finally shaking his head. He didn't really want to go back to the mansion yet, so he decided to just throw an excuse to the other for now.

"You go ahead. I'll just skin it right here," he said casually over his shoulder at his brother. Haechan, too cold and too bored to stay another minute in the humid woods, gave a wave of his hand before turning back. Unlike Jeno, he prefers the comforts and luxuries of the manor over anything else.

"I'll go ahead then. Try to get back before nightfall, the forest can be a dangerous place~" he said in a sing-song voice, knowing full well it was a useless warning he just gave.

Jeno simply ignored him and silently pulled his skinning knife from his belt so he could get to work. Nights in the forest have never scared him, he knew it like the back of his hand.

If anything, it is the creatures there who should be terrified of him.

------

You glanced over at Jisung and Chenle who were currently immersed in their readings over the page you’ve been scanning. The sun is about to set in just a few minutes and you have the last session of the day scheduled for the pair before you could pack up and go home. Your lips slightly quirked into a smile as you watched Jisung lean over slightly into the other to silently ask about something, Chenle looking up from his pages to roll his eyes before patiently answering. The two have such different personalities from each other, which adorably and ironically, makes them work so well together.

If you're going to be honest with yourself now, you'd say it is your time with the two youngest that you enjoy the most as Rosewood's tutor. Chenle and Jisung were withdrawn and shy at first, but the pair slowly started warming up to you as time went by. Maybe it's because they are younger, but you prefer the innocent air around them every time you would have your lessons. Chenle is the chattier and the more confident of the two, but with his help, even the shy Jisung also started lightly joking around with you on his best days.

That's not to say that you hate your time with the rest of the brothers. You've only ever had one session with Mark—which went so well as expected from the eldest—while the rest have always been polite and casual. There isn’t really anything about your job and connection with any of the boys that should put you on edge and yet... you have to admit that there are still those rare moments when you just feel as if something is out of place. You couldn't really place your finger on it, nor have you blatantly caught anything suspicious, but sometimes you just feel odd whenever you are around any of the four middle children. It’s something similar to being watched...like there is an imaginary pair of eyes always pinned to the back of your head, or the ghost feeling of hands hovering around your throat.

Your eyes flickered now to the grand clock on the far side of the room which finally struck five. Closing your own book which you have been scouring over, you called out towards the two who quickly looked up from their work.

"Alright, time's up. Have you answered the first two questions at least?" You asked with a smile. Chenle groaned and pointed at Jisung accusingly.

"I only got three questions because he kept disturbing me, noona."

Jisung frowned and you had to keep your laugh back with how offended he looked.

"Hey, I wasn't disturbing you. I was just asking questions."

"Okay, okay. Don't fight now. Do you want an extension for the chapter quiz? We do have our next lesson the day after tomorrow."

Their faces simultaneously lit up.

"Can we do that?" Chenle asked.

"Yes, but I'll have to leave you the assignment of reading another chapter and finishing the questionnaire for that as well. That'll be your homework, okay?" You tried your best to put on your best impression of a stern look, which only made the two giggle.

"Okay, noona."

"You promise you'll do it?"

Jisung put up his right hand and placed his left one over his heart.

"We promise."

That made you chuckle. "Well then, that will be all for today. I'll see you again tomorrow, okay? I'll have lessons with your brothers but just come to me if you have any questions." You gathered the rest of the papers that you have sprawled on the desk you were using before waving the two goodbye.

You were in the middle of trying to fit in a rather stubborn pile of files on your bag that you didn't really notice the tall figure that entered from the front door. When you finally looked up, it was already too late for you to stop crashing straight first into someone's chest, if not for the strong hands that held you steady. You felt an arm settle on your waist, and another on your back as you almost toppled when you hastily stepped back.

"Oh! I am so sorr—" you looked up with wide eyes to see Jeno looking down on you. Your words died in your throat when your eyes caught the red stain on his neck and you gasped.

"Jeno, what happened?!" Your voice raised in panic as you stared wide eyed at the blood running down the side of his neck. He gave you a slight look of confusion before raising a hand to touch the area you've been staring at.

"Ah… this…"

You didn't wait for him to finish. Quickly, you grabbed his hand and turned on your heels to drag him to the opposite direction. You didn't look back to see his surprised expression, and before he could even say anything, you had already pushed him into one of the expansive bathrooms down the nearest hallway.

"Sit there."

You pushed him urgently on the closed toilet seat before you proceeded to rummage on the hidden compartment behind the mirror that Taeyong showed you before. You quickly grabbed the box of first aid kit there and hastily opened an antiseptic wipe.

"Uhm...noona…"

You didn't pay him any attention, too focused on what you needed to do. You quickly kneeled in front of him so that you were more eye-level with each other before finally pressing the damp wipe against his injury.

"Shh. This might sting a little. We have to see how deep your wound is and stop the bleeding," you said, a small frown creasing your brows as your fingers gently dabbed at his skin. You were so focused on what you were doing that you didn't notice the light in his eyes shift as he looked at you closely. 

His gaze dropped to your slightly parted lips, then at the look of concentration on your features.

Are you...worried about him?

Your frown deepened as you finally managed to wipe most of the blood away from his skin. The antiseptic sheet you were using has already turned dark red from the liquid, but still you haven't—

"It's not my blood," Jeno said plainly, his voice suddenly sounding too close to you. You looked up to him in confusion, and for the first time you realized how close the two of you were. His gaze didn't waver from your face, pinning you into the spot where you are kneeling in front of him.

"Not your…"

"I was hunting. I was skinning the game I caught but my hand slipped and I hit a major vein. This is deer blood."

If your face wasn't burning after realizing how close the two of you were at the moment, it is definitely on fire now. You opened your mouth to say something, then closed it again in embarrassment. Jeno continued staring at you and you watched as his lips ever so slightly curled into a smirk.

That made you suddenly stand up from your crouch. He calmly followed you with his gaze, a mix of curiosity and amusement in his brown eyes.

"I-I'm so sorry. I thought you were injured so I panicked," you stuttered as your eyes fell on the bloody wipe that is still on your hands. You quickly ducked to throw it away just so you could avoid his gaze.

Jeno followed your every move closely before slightly leaning his head to the side. He seems to be mulling over something, face now devoid of any telling emotions.

"Were you concerned about me?" He asked, tone curious. You glanced at him in surprise, stunned that he would ask such a question. It was bad enough that you stumbled over your words when you finally managed a reply.

"Of course I was concerned. Anyone would be."

Jeno slowly stood up from where he sat and for the first time, you realized just how much he towered over you. It didn't help that the two of you were in a much smaller space than usual which sent a wave of claustrophobia to wash you over briefly. You involuntarily took a step back, eyes only high enough to meet the base of his neck.

"Why though?" He asked again, and you could genuinely hear the curiosity in his tone. You frowned. He was asking...as if he isn't used to such a level of care. As if things like this are so foreign to him.

"Because you are my student. And I wouldn't want to see anyone hurt."

For a moment, Jeno didn't say anything else. He simply looked at you while you tried so hard not to flinch under his heavy gaze.

Then, as if a switch had been turned, he took a step to the side to free some space between the two of you. Your eyes shot to his face when he did that, and you were met by his boyish smile that crinkled his eyes into half moons.

That made you blink. You see it on him whenever he is with the rest of his brothers, but it was the first time he ever smiled that way to you.

"Thank you, noona. I appreciate it."

It was as if a blockage in your throat dissolved all of a sudden. You smiled back, a sense of relief overtaking you.

"Don't worry about it. I'm sorry I panicked, too."

"It's cute. Nobody has ever…" he trailed off before shrugging. "I guess, it's because we're all men here. So none of us are used to that kind of care."

You nodded slowly at that. It really must be hard...being in this kind of household. Now that you think about it, the boys are technically orphans.

"Anyway, I have to go. I need to get back before dark. I'm not really a big fan of night drives," you said as you picked up the bag you had haphazardly thrown into the sink in your panic earlier. Jeno simply watched you silently from where he stood.

"Make sure to be careful next time alright? Don't give anyone a heart attack again," you smiled before finally excusing yourself out. He smiled back and gave a nod of goodbye as you closed the door.

Jeno turned to the mirror in front of him and slowly touched the part of his neck where your fingers grazed earlier. It was cold now from the antiseptic you had rubbed, but he could still remember how good the warmth of your touch felt against his skin when you were trying to wash the blood away. He curled his fingers slightly over the area now, leaving half moon marks as his nails dug there.

Oh what he would do to have you touch him again.

-------

"Pretty neat, huh?" You grinned at Jaehyun as he parked the car in front of the manor. You watched as your boyfriend's eyes moved over the impressive facade of the structure in front of him, knowing full well that his architect training is kicking in.

"Not bad. Victorian-era, probably. The stones look old but the place looks pretty well-kept…"

You grinned to yourself now as you leaned back on your seat. Of course you have absolutely no reason to be proud of something you don't own, but you can't help but boast a little at your boyfriend. It is your workplace after all.

Jaehyun turned to his seat now to give you a slightly guilty smile. He sighed before reaching out for your hand.

"Are you sure you will be okay though? I'm sorry about borrowing your car all of a sudden, the timing is just so bad."

You gave his hand a squeeze before patting it with your other. He was supposed to go on a three day business trip away from the city when his car, all of a sudden, just wouldn't start this morning. He wouldn't make it if he waits for the shop to fix it so the both of you decided to just have him use yours for now. At least he has enough time to drive you to work, which is why the two of you now are parked outside the manor, 10 minutes before your first lesson has to start.

"Don't worry about it. I'll make sure to pick up your car later. I'll have the taxi drive me there."

Jaehyun glanced back at the mansion briefly.

"Are you sure you can get a taxi here though? This is pretty far off the main road…"

Well...to be honest, you weren't even really sure about that yourself but he didn't have to worry about it right now. You nodded and reached over for your bag with a smile.

"Yes. Or I'll just ask Taeyong for help if I can't get one. I'm pretty sure they have some taxi companies in contact."

Jaehyun still didn't look convinced but gave you a small nod nevertheless. His eyes were back to studying the house again which made you chuckle.

"Jae, I'll be fine. You have to go now or you'll be late to your conference. Thanks for driving me here," picking up the last of your things, you leaned over to give him a quick peck on the cheeks. He responded by pulling you over for a slightly longer kiss when you tried to move away.

"Yah, Jung Jaehyun. We'll both be late if you don't stop," you whispered softly with an amused tone. He laughed before finally letting you pull back.

"Just getting my fill of it since I won't see you in three days. Call me once you get home later, okay?"

"Mmn. Take care, too. Go get that deal closed," you gave him a wink before finally opening the passenger seat. You watched as he finally pulled away from the driveway and waited until he disappeared again on the long winding road before turning towards the manor again. You were almost at the front steps when the doors finally opened, spilling Haechan, Renjun, and Jaemin out of them. You frowned slightly as you took notice of the canvases they were carrying as you approached the group.

"Hey...are you going somewhere? Class is about to start." You asked curiously, eyes landing finally on the small leather bag that Renjun was carrying. It seems to be full of art supplies.

"We're doing a free art class today, right noona?" The eldest of the trio asked. You nodded, still a bit confused.

"Renjun suggested we do it in the garden since the weather is nice today," Jaemin finally said. "We think it'll be a nice change from the stuffy rooms inside," he slightly jerked his head back at the wide windows of the manor which are currently shut back with thick curtains. You glanced at them briefly too before nodding slowly in understanding.

"Oh… I mean… It's not a bad idea. We can have the first session outside while the sun is still bearable, I guess."

That made Jaemin, and most especially Renjun smile. The boy can be withdrawn most of the time, but you did notice that he looks happiest whenever you do creative classes.

"Thank you, noona."

"No problem. I'll just put my bag inside and then I'll follow you. Why don't you set up your things first?"

You've taken a couple of steps towards the front door already when Haechan suddenly spoke up.

"Who was with you, noona?"

That froze you on your tracks. Slowly, you turned to face the trio again. They saw Jaehyun drive off?

"Oh, that was my boyfriend. He dropped me off today," you said casually with a smile. Haechan leaned his head a little bit to the side in curiosity.

"But he took your car…"

"Yes, he did. His broke down so he had to borrow mine. He's leaving for a three-day trip so—" you stopped all of a sudden, realizing that you're explaining things too much. There's nothing wrong about what you said but there was still a part of you that made you feel a little...exposed. Jaemin, Haechan, and Renjun, fortunately, didn't seem to notice and continued to politely look at you.

"Anyway, I'll just grab a cab to go home," you continued with a smile. "There are some who stop by here, right?"

"Yes. Or we can just ask Taeyong-hyung to drive you. He is the only one who has a license among us," Jaemin offered with a casual shrug.

"Ah, maybe I'll have to bother him this one time if I can't get a cab," you said with a sheepish smile. "Okay, I do have to bring my things inside. I'll see you."

You have already reached the top of the steps before the double doors when you finally realized something. Quickly you turned to the three boys who were just about to disappear to the side of the house leading to the manicured gardens.

"Wait, where's Jeno?"

It was Jaemin who answered.

"Oh yeah. He can't come. He is on bed rest."

You frowned.

"What happened?"

Haechan snickered which caused Renjun to shoot him a reprimanding look.

"He got into a hunting accident," the boy explained as he barely tried to keep his lips from twitching with amusement. "He was foolish enough to get stabbed in the chest by a stag."

-----

You gave the oak wood door a few light taps before drawing your hand back to yourself. You still weren't sure if this is a good idea, and yet here you are standing outside Jeno's room, the expansive hallway making you feel too small and out of place. This is the first time you've been in this part of the mansion since you only ever roamed the lower floors for your classes, and you couldn't help but feel a little strange at the heaviness of the air clinging around you now.

Maybe it's because it is where the private quarters of the boys are, but the corridor was only slightly illuminated by dimmed lighting from the lamps on the walls. Everything was silent, and for a moment you wondered if you got the wrong door that Taeyong gave directions to when you told him you wanted to check on Jeno. You have already taken a step back and was about to turn away when you heard some rustling from inside the room. It was followed by a voice muffled by the thick wood separating you from the other side of the door.

"Come in."

You froze on your spot for a few seconds before finally managing to shake yourself to open the door before you slowly. Peering around it, the first thing you noticed was how big the room was—it looked more like a smaller section of a house than a private quarters. It was dark, but a quick look at it told you that it was mostly bare if you don't count the essentials, which is a simple desk by the side, a long couch, and, in the middle, a four poster bed.

Your eyes landed on Jeno who was looking at you with equal mild surprise. He was propped against the headboard of his bed, the light from the laptop on his lap illuminating his face. You noticed that he didn't have a shirt on, but most of his skin from the right shoulder down to his chest was covered by bandages.

"Hi," you smiled, suddenly feeling conscious now as you stepped into his room.

"Um. Hi. What are you…"

"I heard that you were injured so I just dropped by to check on you," you quickly answered to diffuse any awkwardness that is in danger of settling between the two of you. Jeno blinked, as if processing what you just said.

"Uh… sorry, I didn't realize that I might be disturbing you. I can also just go back another time and—"

"No," He said all of a sudden before you could excuse yourself. Quickly, he closed his laptop and put it away on his side. "You can stay for a bit."

"Oh...great. I uh…" your eyes roamed around his room once again, hoping to find a chair that is closer to his bed. There was none. You figured the couch was the only place you could go to so you started walking towards it, Jeno's eyes on you.

"You can sit here," he suddenly said and you looked up to see him pointing at the foot of his bed. That made you stop before glancing again at the couch at the farther side of his room, something which he immediately noticed.

"It's too far away. It'll be awkward for us to talk if you sit there,” he said, as if he read your mind. 

That...makes sense. With a slight nod, you closed the distance between you and the bed instead and chose to sit by its far end.

Jeno was back to watching you as you settled down, his expression curious. You softly cleared your throat.

"How are you feeling?"

He glanced down his chest briefly. "Oh, I'm fine. It didn't hurt as much during the weekend, but I was still told to stay in bed. I can't really move that much yet."

"What happened anyway?"

He scratched the back of his head almost sheepishly and looked away.

"I was trying to hunt a deer. I didn't know its mate was just around the area when I approached it so...yeah."

You winced as your eyes fell on his bandaged chest. You know next to nothing about hunting, but you know enough that an angry stag doesn't spell good news for anyone. Things could have been more serious for him.

"Are you sure that you shouldn't be in the hospital though?"

"Yes. We have a private doctor anyway. I just need to make sure I don't move too much to keep my wound from opening. And I also hate hospitals so I prefer to stay here…"

"You have to be more careful next time, okay Jeno? The forest is such a dangerous place…" you sighed before shifting your attention towards the window at the far wall of his room. He only had his curtains partially open but you could still see a sliver of the woods from where you sat.

Something about what you said shifted something in him. You missed it entirely thanks to the shadows from the room's dim lighting that masked his features, but it was there, hiding in plain sight.

"You take care of us so well."

You turned to him again as you heard him whisper something.

"What?"

Jeno simply smiled. He leaned back against the headboard, as if mulling over something.

"Since noona is worried about me, can you help me change my bandages?"

You blinked. That wasn't something you expected him to ask at all. Before, you figured Jeno to be one of the more withdrawn among the brothers, always with this air of intimidation about him, but lately, he has been throwing you off with these kinds of moments. He isn't flirty like Jaemin or sly and playful like Haechan, but he’s just so...direct. Almost pushy, sometimes. 

"I uhm… I don't know. I wouldn't know how to do it, maybe I can call someone and—"

You watched as he already started to undo the bandages on his torso, your eyes growing wide as he started to expose more skin.

"Jeno wait, I think we should call Taeyong for thi—oh my god."

Your words were cut off when he finally let the last of the bandages fall to reveal the cut on his torso. It started from his right chest, a few inches above the collarbone, and ran sideways to the middle where it cut off. Stitches held the skin together, and you could see the darkening sides of the flesh where it broke.

Yet it wasn't only that which caught your attention. Despite the dimness of the room, you could see other marks in his body, old scars that adorned his pale skin here and there. They varied in length and thickness, and you couldn't figure out what might have caused them. Were they from hunting accidents too…?

You immediately turned to look away. You didn't want to seem rude for staring. Jeno, however, seemed unbothered, if not mildly amused. Watching you through hooded eyes, he let you squirm for a little bit first before finally calling for your attention once more.

"Noona."

"Yes?"

"Help me, please?"

The tone he used on you finally made you turn with a slight wince, which only made him chuckle.

"You're not used to seeing injuries?"

"I'm not fond of them. I don't think anyone is."

“So let's get this over with then. I just need you to hold one side of the bandage for me while I wrap it again. It's hard when I do it alone."

You were about to open your mouth to say something again but chose to purse your lips after in the end. With a soft sigh, you finally picked yourself up from your spot by the foot of the bed to move closer to him. Jeno had already uncapped what looked to be a bottle of antiseptic at this point and had started to dab gently at his cut. You tried to watch without wincing too much as he tried to do the job, but it was probably too painful for him to move too much because he was missing a lot of it.

"Hey, just give me that. I'll do it," you asked as you gently took the cotton pad from him. Jeno wordlessly let you take it, eyes closely watching you as you ducked a little to clean his wound. You tried your best to keep your eyes on target, not allowing them to move anywhere else…

"It looks so bad… I'm surprised you can still move…" you whispered, more to yourself than to him as you frowned over it. You completely missed the way the corners of Jeno's lips ever so slightly tilted as your fingers brushed against his skin.

"Your fiance must have never gotten injured before, noona."

Your hand froze at what he said. Slowly, you looked up at him, only to see him smile at you.

"How did you…"

"Oh, Taeyong-hyung told us. He just reminded us to be nice to you or else you might quit. He said you are saving up for your wedding."

You didn't say anything at first after his explanation. There's nothing wrong about it, and it seems very in-character for Taeyong to say that since he seems to be the most worried about the possibility of you quitting. Still, you couldn't help the odd feeling that tugged at your chest, one you tried to shove back as you turned your attention again to what you were doing just so you could escape Jeno's gaze.

"Well… yes. I am saving up for it. But I also enjoy my time here… so far…"

Jeno smiled to himself as he looked down on you, eyes watching your every move.

"We'll behave too, we promise," he said softly that you almost didn't catch it.

"Until then, I'm sure your boyfriend wouldn't mind us borrowing you from him."  

----

"Jisung! Chenle! Don't run too far into the forest, okay?" Taeyong called out to the two boys who have already turned on their tails and have started running towards the woods. You watched as the two laughed and pushed at each other playfully before finally disappearing into the forest edge.

Taeyong sighed beside you and let the hands he had on his hips fall to his sides. You turned to him and he gave you an apologetic smile.

"I'm sorry for suddenly asking you to watch over them. I totally forgot that I had to drive the rest to their dentist appointment today," he said with a scratch of his head. You simply shook a hand at him to wave him off.

"Don't worry about it. I don't have any other classes today anyway so I'll just wait here for them. But... uh... are you sure that it is safe for them to play there?"

"Yes. As long as they stay in the right zones. There are parts there where some wild animals might roam around this season but Jisung and Chenle already know that, don't worry. It won't be the first time they'll be going there too. They've been playing there since they were kids."

You nodded slowly, still a little bit unsure as your gaze floated over to the woods once more. If it were you, you wouldn't let them go near it, especially after what happened to Jeno.

"I'll have to go then. I promise I'll be back by 5. Then I can drive you back to town after."

You turned to look at Taeyong once more and gave him a grateful smile. You usually would have declined the offer under normal circumstances, but you honestly think it will be easier and safer for you to just have him take you back later.

"Thank you. I appreciate that."

The other nodded before giving you one last smile. Turning around, you watched him go to the car where Haechan, Renjun, and Jaemin were already waiting. Jeno was still in bed rest, so he is skipping the impromptu trip this time.

You only turned back to look at the woods ahead when you finally saw the black sedan disappear down the road. The forest looked foreboding in front of you, one look at it and you know there is no way you'll venture there in your own free will. With a sigh, you picked up the book you've brought with you and let yourself take a seat by the grass as you wait for Jisung and Chenle to return.

A sudden sharp caw that tore the air made you look up in surprise from the current chapter you were reading. You didn't have any idea how much time had already passed after you lost yourself in your book, but you were surprised to see that the sky had gone red over the horizon as a flock of crows soared from the depths of the forest. You watched as they circled just above the trees before finally disappearing far into the sky. That was when you realized it; it's been a while since Jisung and Chenle left.

With panic slowly creeping into your chest, you glanced at your watch then back at the mansion behind you. Taeyong didn't say anything about a curfew for the two kids, but your own sense told you that the pair should be back before night falls. Your gut told you that you should start looking for them, but the problem is that there is still more than half an hour left before Taeyong said they will return and the only other person left in the manor was Jeno—who can't even get out of bed. 

You swallowed. Before you could make any decision, however, a bone-chilling sound floated into the air that made your blood turn cold. It was faint at first, making you wonder if it was just your imagination playing tricks on you, but then it called out again, and you felt your heart drop to your stomach.

It was Chenle. Screaming.

You broke into a run without a second thought.

It took you everything you have not to topple over the uneven forest floor as you wove through the trees. You have no idea where you were going, your mind and vision reeling as you tried to follow the voice. Your skirt have caught countless times on shrubberies and wayward tree barks as you tore through the woods but you kept going, not minding the tears on the fabric and the skin of your legs.

"Chenle! Jisung! Where are you!"

You called out desperately when the cries suddenly stopped. You were only barely aware of your heart thundering in your chest and your lungs burning from overexertion.

No. No. Don't stop screaming. I can't find you if you do.

"Chenle! Jisung!" You called out again desperately as you stopped at the edge of what seemed to be a small patch of land that dropped off to a ravine. The trees beyond were denser than the ones at the edge of the forest and the already fading light of the day wasn't helping the thick canopies above you that rained shadows on where you stood. You looked around and swallowed thickly. Something inside of you told you to turn around and run again but you stayed frozen on your spot, waiting for any sound from the kids.

It took you a few more heartbeats to pick up something again. Jisung's voice sounded far off to your right, maybe about 15 meters from where you currently are.

"Noona! Help! Chenle fell down!"

Your adrenaline jumped into action again.

"Jisung?! Jisung! Wait—Is Chenle with you?” A soft voice called out and you breathed in as you recognized the latter's tone. “I'm coming! Don't stop calling for me, okay, so I can find you!"

You were about to turn away from the edge of the steep ravine you were still standing on when you felt your back hit something hard. Before you could even turn around to look at it, however, a blunt force hitting the middle of your shoulder blades sent you toppling forward, straight into the sharp fall beyond.

You screamed, before everything went quiet as your head hit the bedrock below.

---

A.N. GOD THIS WAS SO LONG IM SO GLAD IT IS FINALLY DONE.

Taglist:  @negincho,  @jhornytrash, @jaeminhyuckiii, @jungwoosswhore, @jsturkey​, @aj--7, @pukupukupawpau​, @tomiesgirlfren​, @vsszn

CHAPTER 4

[wordsnwhiskey]

As It Should Be | Chapter 5: Breaking In The Newbies

Pairing: Agent Whiskey x F!Reader x Frankie Morales

Summary: After a rough and emotional night, Frankie makes a decision on Jack’s offer. Before they can get to that though, the morning debrief with Champ brings back a familiar face and Jack has you and Frankie teach the junior agents a lesson during combat training.

Rating: M

Warnings: Canon typical violence, guns, swearing, discussions about safewords.

A/N: Alright, a lot of stuff needed to happen here and we’re going to have a little action and see Frankie show off a bit. It was important to me that the discussion of safe words and Jack checking again for consent happened in a chapter separate from the actual smut. For me, it further emphasizes that Jack doesn’t want Frankie to feel pressured to accept or do anything he doesn’t want to because it’s “in the moment”. Consent is sexy, friends.

I have to give my love and thanks to mi esposa @danniburgh and my friend Agent Capri Sun for the beta reads, the fantastic constructive criticism and encouragement!

Masterlist | Series Masterlist | Chapter 4: Company | AO3 | Art

The morning sun stirred Frankie. Even with his eyes still closed, he could tell the room was alight, but the warmth that surrounded him had nothing to do with the sun and everything to do with the body next to him. He opened his eyes and realized he was definitely not in Whiskey’s guest bedroom. Instead, he was very much curled into Whiskey’s lightly rising chest. Frankie blushed, very unused to being the little spoon, and moreover, not used to someone’s morning wood poking at him. Whiskey was gently roused from sleep by Frankie’s small movements. He lifted his arm from around Frankie’s waist and stretched.

“G’morning Flyboy. You were having nightmares, so I brought you in here.

“Oh, sorry for waking you up and… thank you.” Frankie felt guilt sting at his throat.

Whiskey grunted and rolled out of bed to go shower.

“Nothing to worry about, partner. I’m no stranger to those kinds of nightmares.”

Frankie was grateful Whiskey understood and made no effort to pry. With a grunt of his own, Frankie got up from the bed and made his way to the kitchen, intent on trying to get coffee going while Whiskey showered.

Whiskey finished his shower and stepped out to dry off, then wrapped his towel around his waist. He was drawn to the kitchen by the smell of coffee, Frankie’s initiative quirking the corners of his mouth into a small smile. He leaned against the kitchen counter and watched as Frankie poured their coffee, handing Whiskey’s to him black. Jack hummed his approval, a sound which he noted made Frankie preen a bit.

“Good boy.” Jack gestured to the coffee with a small wink as the air seemed to be pushed from Frankie’s lungs. “Now, as much as I enjoy the view of you in just my shorts, let's get you into something you can wear at the office.”

Frankie was rooted to the spot, Jack’s “good boy” ringing in his ears and sending a wave of warmth throughout his entire body. Jack didn’t comment, just let his smirk speak for itself as he took his coffee back to his room and opened the doors to his closet. His fingers tabbed at a few of the hanging suits as he looked back to see that Frankie had finally uprooted himself and joined him.

“We’re similar in build, so you ought to be able to pull off one of my suits…”

Frankie winced.

“Right, well then, let’s go with something a touch more casual.

Jack grabbed a pair of jeans, a blue button down, white t-shirt, belt, and socks, handing each article of clothing over to Frankie as he moved around his closet.

“There, that should do you. Comfortable, but still presentable for Statesman.”

Jack gave him a smile only to notice Frankie shifting his weight.

“Thanks,” came Frankie’s reply as he turned to get dressed. He didn’t mind going without boxers, but the sudden realization that he needed more clothes of his own hit Frankie as he dressed in the clothes Jack had given him.

“Hey Jack?”

Whiskey hummed in acknowledgement as he finished getting dressed himself: jeans, suspenders, white button down shirt, and a navy wool blazer.

“I was thinking about your offer last night, and… I’d like that.”

Whiskey turned to look at Frankie, giving him a once over, distantly thinking about how good Frankie looked in his clothes, and a mischievous smile lit up Whiskey’s face.

“I’m looking forward to it, Flyboy. We’ll discuss things a bit more at the end of the day in my office. It’s about as close to neutral territory as we’re gonna get for that conversation. For today though, I want you to be a good boy and stick to me like a shadow. We’re meeting with Champ first thing. Then, we’re gonna have some fun.”

Frankie nodded, rocking back on his heels for a moment, then fell in step with Whiskey as they headed out, both of them grabbing their respective hats as they went. The ride in Whiskey’s Bronco was quiet, and soon enough they were riding the elevator up to their floor in the Statesman tower.

You were seated at the conference table facing the double doors with Pope to your right.

“You sleep alright, Pope? Hope Ginger didn’t keep you too late.”

“She’s something, that’s for sure, Hawk, but she did let me go, eventually.”

He gave you a good natured laugh that slowly lost its shine.

“You hear from Fish, Hawk? Ginger told me where she put him up and I went to check on him last night, but he never answered.”

Worry bloomed in your chest, not that it had really gone away after seeing Frankie leave yesterday. You figured if he wanted or needed to talk, he would have reached out to you. Honestly, you had hoped he would have checked in with Pope at some point since he probably felt more comfortable with him. Just then, the conference double doors opened, giving way as Jack strode in, greeting you with a smile and tilt of his head. Relief eased the tension in your chest and shoulders when Frankie followed closely behind Jack. Your eyes darted over to Whiskey, fixing him with a questioning gaze as you realized the clothes Frankie was wearing belonged to Jack.

“Fish!” Pope practically jumped out of his chair, rushing over to Frankie with a duffle bag in tow. “I was worried about you, hermano. I went to the hotel, but you didn’t answer.”

To Frankie’s credit, his face didn’t betray much, but both you and Pope knew that Frankie didn’t have any other clothes aside from what he had left with.

“Uh, yeah, must’ve just missed you.”

You could tell Pope was filing the information away for later. Your eyes wandered to Jack’s again and you raised an eyebrow. At least you now had an idea why he had cancelled on you last night.

“Here, Fish. I figured you’d want your go bag.”

“Gracias, hermano.”

They clasped arms, then took their seats. Frankie grabbed the orange tinted glasses he had left the day before and put them on, adjusting them on the bridge of his nose. His gaze fell to yours and he gave you a small smile, but before you could say anything, Champ’s holo image flickered to life.

“Catfish! You’re looking mighty fine! Much better than yesterday.”

“Yes sir, thanks.”

Champ nodded. He’d been worried about how the man would fare, especially considering the news yesterday.

“Right, down to the business at hand. It does appear that a new cartel is making their play at center stage, picking up where Poppy left off. They’re not following Poppy’s business model, though. From what we understand, the group is headed by four individuals: Isabella Gómez, Duke Hernández, Steven Weisel and Emily Weisel. They’ve taken to calling themselves La Linda Rosa, likely after the Red Agent flowers. Up until now, they’ve been your run of the mill cartel, but it’s our belief that the Weisels have been instrumental in their production and processing of Agent Red. Recently, the Weisels purchased land in Colombia, and from our drone coverage, they may have set up processing plants there. We don’t know why the sudden shift to Agent Red, though. The plants themselves go for $500k per plant, and they take time to mature. We don’t think the Weisels are responsible for acquiring the plants, so that leaves either Isabella or Duke.”

Frankie’s attention drifted from Champ to the pictures on the screen and swore.

“Fuck. Pope, you know who that is, right? I thought they were in Australia?”

Pope did a double take, recognizing his old informant’s brother. The Statesman stared at the two men, waiting for them to elaborate. Frankie sighed and settled into his seat a bit more, knee bouncing anxiously.

“Four years ago, Pope came to me and the rest of our old team to take out Gabriel Martín Lorea and make out with the money he had stockpiled. Pope’s CI, Yovanna, and her brother, Duke, both worked for Lorea. In exchange for helping us, Pope got the brother out of jail and we dropped them off in Peru with papers to Australia and $3M. Looks like Duke wasn’t satisfied with life in Australia.”

Ginger frowned and pulled up Duke’s known associates, Yovanna’s picture following the others on screen.

“Yovanna appears to still be living in Australia, but it’s possible Duke grabbed the money and ran.”

Frankie closed his eyes, lifting his cap and carding his fingers through his hair before placing the hat back on his head and sighing.

“What’s the plan? Sounds like the plants and processing facilities need to be taken out, and then there’s the compound, too.”

Pope nodded, then sighed as well. This was bringing back memories for the both of them.

“We’ll also need to be wary of the local agencies. They’ll be on the lookout for anyone suspicious, especially if it’s anything like how it was with Lorea.”

Champ nodded and tilted his head to Ginger.

“We’re doing our own recon and then we’ll break out teams. Pope, Catfish, we’d like you to at least help with intel, and given your experience in taking down Lorea, if you’re up for it, I’d like you both on the compound assault team.”

You saw Pope and Frankie share a look, Frankie’s jaw clenched and then he nodded.

“Yes, sir.”

“Great, not to worry boys, Statesman has the best resources, stateside or otherwise. For now, I’m sure we can keep you plenty busy. Whiskey, don’t forget, today is your day for combat training with the new recruits. Bourbon, Cranberry needs you to test equipment in the lab later today.”

“Pope, could you actually stick around again for a bit? I’ve got some more intel I want to run through with you.” Ginger chimed in, and you were surprised he didn’t grimace at the idea of being locked in a room for hours again.

With that, the meeting was over, Champ’s holo image disappeared and they took their glasses off. Jack stood up and Frankie was quick to follow him, much to your intrigue. You stood up as well. You were eager to watch Jack have his way with the new agents. It was always fun. Whiskey seemed to know you would be following and beckoned for you to enter his office first, followed by Frankie, and Jack closed the door behind him.

“Go ahead and set your bag down wherever you’d like, Flyboy.”

Frankie dropped his bag in a corner then promptly started to rifle through it, pulling his shoes out and quickly swapping his dress shoes for them. He let out a sigh of relief as he rolled up on the balls of his feet and rocked back on his heels. He hated dress shoes.

You took a short minute to admire Frankie in the blue button down while he rolled up his sleeves. Jack’s fingers wrapped around your wrist and he tugged you into him.

“Missed you, darlin’.”

Smiling, you took his face in your hands and tugged him down for a kiss.

“Missed you too, Jack.”

You murmured against his lips, and you resolved not to ask about last night. Whatever happened, Frankie must have reached out to Jack, not you or Santi, and you’d leave it at that. Jack hummed contentedly for a moment before he pulled back and winked at you.

“Are you coming to watch us break in the newbies, darlin’? I was thinking you and Flyboy could do the first demo.”

You narrowed your eyes suspiciously, but there was a playfulness in them as well.

“Us?” You questioned Jack with a raised eyebrow.

“First demo?” Came Frankie’s question as he whirled around to face you and Whiskey.

Jack’s smile broadened and he started out of his office and towards the elevator, expecting you and Frankie to follow.

“What are we demoing, Whiskey?”Frankie asked, more pointedly this time.

“Well, our newbies are scheduled to learn about disarms and what happens when the enemy goes for their gun. I thought it’d be good to have them start out seeing Bourbon disarm you.”

Frankie huffed as he crossed his arms and leaned against the elevator wall. You smiled as you leaned against the wall opposite Frankie.

“It’ll be just like old times, Fish.”

He groaned and shook his head.

“Why have me do the demo though? I’m not a Statesman agent.”

Before you could respond to reassure Frankie, Jack chimed in, eyeing him with nothing short of gleeful mischief. Jack enjoyed breaking the new agents in almost a little too much sometimes, but it was good for them, and he was good at it.

“No, you’re not, you’re ex-Delta Force, Frankie. These agents have had plenty of training, but they don’t have your experience, Flyboy. They’re gonna learn the difference today.”

Jack shared a similar philosophy with you when it came to combat training and sparring. You had been a terror in hand-to-hand, still were, you were proud to say. You knew there was often a size disadvantage, but you had learned to use your opponent’s momentum against them, and more importantly, you didn’t follow convention. In sparring matches, most people fought like they were sparring, which was fine for beginning, but there was a big difference between practicing and being in an actual fight. You never advocated for an all out brawl, but you refused to follow the typical learned pattern that people naturally gravitated towards. Tom had been predictable and a sore loser. Will was predictable but sweet. Benny, well, there was a reason he was semi-pro, which left Santi and Frankie. Santiago was fun, and you had lost your fair share of matches to both him and Benny. Frankie had a spark in his eyes when he sparred, but no matter how hard you had tried to get him to let go, he refused. It had nothing to do with anything silly like you being a woman, more to do with the fact that Frankie never seemed to just let himself go in that way. You had only seen him let go a bit twice, both times in the field and well worn down by the day.

The elevator dinging startled you out of your reverie, and you followed right behind Jack towards the training room. Frankie assumed they would be entering a gym of sorts, but he was sorely mistaken, and he realized the ‘floor’ they were on must have been composed of several. The ‘room’ was really more of a training complex housed in the unassuming tower. To the right, a group of 20 people stood, waiting. He gave them a cursory glance, and then his eyes were pulled to the range. He’d definitely have to visit to let off some stress. He followed as you and Whiskey led the way to the group of agents and hung back slightly as the group stood to attention.

“Well, look at this promising group of newbies, Bourbon. D’you think they’re up for today’s lesson?”

You let the smirk on your lips turn into a full crooked smile, you had more than a small idea as to what Jack was going to do. Looking over your shoulder, you caught Frankie’s eye and nodded for him to join you.

“I don’t know, Whiskey, simple concept, but we’ll see what their execution is like. My money is on our guy.”

The agents before you bristled, full of young pride that was well-earned. Whiskey’s hand clasped over Frankie’s shoulder as he introduced him to the new agents.

“Y’all are in for a treat. Our friend, Catfish, here, has generously volunteered to help train you on close quarters combat and disarms. Bourbon will demo the defense first. Catfish,” Whiskey took a pistol from the long table off to the side and handed it to Frankie. “Your objective is simple: shoot a blank at Bourbon.”

Frankie’s eyebrows shot up in surprise, and his eyes sought yours to make sure you were comfortable. An answering smile was good enough for him, and he checked the pistol, confirming there were no live rounds, before looking back up at you. The two of you easily slid into a ready position, and Jack gestured for the new agents to give you some room.

“Halcón, when you go for the takedown, ten cuidado con mi espalda. Ya no soy joven.” [be careful with my back. I’m not young anymore.]

It only mildly annoyed you that he already knew you were going to go for the takedown, after priding yourself on your spontaneity earlier, but you pushed that out of your mind as you both stood a few steps apart. There would be a split second when Frankie pulled his pistol and took a readying step. That would be where you would have an opening and make your move. A tense handful of seconds that seemed to stretch on filled the air. Jack watched the new agents, the tension between you and Frankie seemed to embed itself in the junior agents’ lungs as they all waited with bated breath.

Nothing telegraphed Frankie’s quick movements as he drew his pistol, but on instinct, your body was moving. He saw your left hand fly out to redirect his momentum and push his gun hand away, quickly shifting to plant his weight, keeping you from landing the takedown this early. The training you and Frankie had received taught you to be efficient and end things quickly. That was easier said when you had spent years training together. The junior agents seemed to still be holding their breath while you traded blows. Your moment of opportunity came, and you took it. Frankie seemed to understand what was happening but his balance was off. You stepped into him, your hip bumping his as your hand came to grip over the top of his pistol. The next thing everyone knew, you were both on the ground, the gun skittering harmlessly away, and Frankie’s arm in an arm bar. He grunted and quickly tapped at your leg to surrender, and you let him go. The class was quiet until Whiskey broke the silence as you helped Frankie to his feet.

“I hope you lot were paying attention to Catfish here, he did a great job demonstrating what to do when facing a difficult opponent like Bourbon. For this exercise, the rest of you will attempt to take a shot at Catfish and he will disarm you by whatever means he deems necessary.”

You can’t help but let out a small laugh, knowing Whiskey was being intentional with his wording.The laugh died quickly, however, at the words of one of the junior agents.

“How was that a good example? He lost, he was disarmed. We should be practicing against someone better, who would last longer.”

At your side, you saw Frankie stand up straighter, his feet moving shoulder width apart as his hands clasped behind his back and he fixed the younger agent with a steely gaze. Even as his breathing remained calm, it was obvious the words had gotten to him. Whiskey’s good natured grin turned into a smug smirk.

“Davis,” Whiskey began, calling the man out by his last name and emphasizing he hadn’t earned a Statesman moniker. “Since you’re so eager, by all means, approach Catfish when you’re ready and show us how your Statesman training fares.”

Frankie kept his gaze leveled at the cocky junior agent, noticing in his periphery that you had moved away to give them plenty of room. Davis moved to be a few steps in front of him. Frankie continued to hold the stare as he questioned Whiskey.

“Are you sure about this, Whiskey?”

Whiskey nodded, Frankie’s gaze flickering over to him for the briefest of seconds, then he brought his hands to a loose ready position at his sides. Davis drew his pistol, but Frankie grabbed the barrel with his left hand, stepped forward and hooked his right foot behind Davis’ lead leg and pushed on the agent’s chest with his right hand. Davis went down, but found himself suspended by Frankie’s hold on his shirt. The class was filled with littered gasps and snickers. The ‘fight’ was over before it had really begun. Frankie helped right the agent and stepped aside to let him retrieve his firearm.

“Attaboy, Catfish! Davis, looks like you’ve got some work to do. Here’s another lesson, agents: Statesman agents aren’t your only competition out there. We’ve got some fancy gear and trainin’ here, but there’s a world of intelligence agents and mercs out there. Catfish served with Bourbon, and that should tell you all you need to know.” He paused a moment to let the information sink in as Davis returned to the line to lick his wounds. Then Whiskey called the next agent.

Frankie breathed in, then out through his nose, and got ready. As they went, the junior agents in waiting began to pick up on a few of his techniques, and he had to adjust, but time spent practicing and training at Benny’s gym had prepared him well for this.

You watched as Jack’s eyes danced while he followed Frankie’s movements. The circumstances earlier had prevented him from truly appreciating how efficient and capable the quiet man was. The last of the junior agents had made their attempt and consequently failed. Frankie’s breath was coming more unevenly now, and rightly so. What he had gone through would be exhausting for anyone.

“Well done, everyone, a round of applause to Catfish for taking the time to demonstrate y’all have a lot to learn before getting approved for field work. Now go on and line up at the range and get warmed up. We’ll be running sims next.”

The junior agents dispersed to the range towards the back of the room. Frankie let out a breath and rolled his shoulders to let out some of the tension he had been carrying, then started heading for the range, eager to let off some more steam.

“Where do you think you’re going, partner?”

Frankie frowned, his eyes darting between you and Whiskey in confusion.

“I thought we were going to go shoot?”

Jack smiled then winked at Frankie.

“They’re warming up, you still have one more person to disarm, Flyboy.”

Frankie’s fingers twitched, and you could see that the exercise earlier had worn at his usual restraint.

“No lasso.”

Whiskey handed you his lasso, then unloaded his revolvers and passed you the ammo. He holstered his revolvers again and stepped into position in front of Frankie. You watched as a new kind of energy seemed to crackle between them, and some of the junior agents seemed to sense it, stopping to watch as well.

Whiskey was fast, but training at the boxing gym had helped Frankie with his speed. As Whiskey drew his revolver, Frankie sprung forward. He didn’t bother to grab the gun. Instead, he brought his fist down on the barrel, sending it skittering away. Whiskey’s fist connected with Frankie’s side, and you heard, rather than saw, Frankie’s reservations fall away with a snarl. He took hold of the inside of Jack’s blazer, grabbing the grip of the other revolver holstered there and made to pull it out and take the ‘shot’. Jack’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. He hadn’t expected Frankie to go on the offensive, but he found he was impressed. He liked a challenge. Before Frankie could draw the revolver from the holster, Jack grabbed his wrists and wrenched them down, then back up quickly to break Frankie’s hold, and then Jack threw them both to the ground. Both men recovered quickly, but in the chaos, the revolver had fallen to the ground and Frankie scrambled for it. Just as his fingertips touched cold metal, Whiskey’s whip flicked the revolver further away, and they closed the distance to grapple with each other again.

Your match with Frankie had been a well practiced dance, and this was too, in its own right. However, where yours had been fluid, Whiskey and Frankie were bordering on feral. For a moment, it appeared that Frankie had gotten the upper hand. Whiskey staggered backwards, about to fall, but as he went, he flicked his whip, the corded length wrapping around Frankie’s throat. He tugged, sending them both to the ground. Frankie grunted and struggled against the snare he was in. Whiskey wasted no time in scrambling up and pinning Frankie, his knee to the pilot’s back. Frankie continued to struggle until Whiskey leaned down so that only the other man could hear.

“Easy now, Tiger, save your strength for tonight. You did good.”

Frankie relaxed under Jack’s weight and nodded. Whiskey got off of him with a grunt and unwound the corded length of the whip from Frankie’s neck, then pressed a button on the handle to recall it. He helped Frankie up and dusted him off a bit.

A few of the junior agents were still watching in awe. It was rare to see a senior agent like you or Whiskey truly need to put some effort in, and to see it twice in one day was something else entirely. You walked over to the two men and put your hand on Frankie’s shoulder.

“You did great, Fish, nice to see you let loose for once.”

He scoffed good naturedly and swooped to pick his hat up from off the ground.

“You guys had quite the audience while you were at it, too.” Your smile was barely contained as you raised an eyebrow at Jack.

This time it was Whiskey’s turn to scoff.

“Well, I hope they’ve been practicing. They’ll be running the sim after Frankie does.”

Whiskey patted Frankie on his shoulder then gestured for him to follow. He led him to an enclosed area that occupied the majority of the left side of the training complex. A small structure that looked like a house sat inside the enclosure, and you knew it was furnished to match whatever simulation scenario had been determined. Whiskey stopped at a table just outside of the enclosure and gestured to the rifle, combat knife, folder, and headset.

“Alright, Flyboy, I know you’ve done this sort of exercise before. Your brief is on the table there. Good luck.”

You and Whiskey walked a bit further along the enclosure to two screens. One cycled through a variety of camera angles while the other would connect to the headset once Frankie turned it on.

“You’re really having Frankie run the simulation?”

Whiskey nodded, “I didn’t have him help with the demo just to teach those newbies a lesson, darlin’. He’s been through hell, and I figured getting him to work through some of that in sparring and the sim would help. That, and, well… you can’t blame me for bein’ curious, Bourbon. Last time I got to see what he could do, we were a bit busy trying not to get shot.”

You can’t help but to chuckle and shake your head, your attention going back to Frankie as he geared up.

“Frankie turns into a different person on missions sometimes, used to scare the hell out of people on base who saw it. No one ever suspected it because he was always the quiet one, but he’s just as competitive as the rest of the guys on the team. He was just always scary good at keeping a level head and focusing on the mission. You’ll see.”

Frankie put on the kit provided for him then flipped through the brief before lowering the headset and advancing. The brief had been fairly simple: infiltrate the compound, rescue the target, and escort the target to the exfil location. They even provided a decent description of the target. The virtual course populated guards patrolling the 3 entrances. He opted for the path of least resistance with only 2 guards posted.

From the screen, you and Jack could see Frankie take a deep breath, his shoulders relaxing even as he crept towards the two guards. You knew it was because he was willing himself to let go, to let his instincts and muscle memory take over. He was lightning fast as his knife came out and he landed brutal and precise fatal blows to the targets on the screen. In a normal situation, he would hide the bodies but the miracle of technology meant he didn’t have to. It was beautiful in a devastating way to watch Frankie move with such confidence, stealth, and precision. He peered around a hallway, noting the sudden influx of guards and catching a glimpse of red at the end of the hall. The brief had indicated the target would be in red, and it made sense that there would be more guards to ensure the target didn’t run off. He counted five hostiles in the hallway.

Five guards, five bullets.

Once he had downed the hostiles, Frankie stepped through the hallway, catching a glimpse of the target and swore at how cliché the scenario was. The brief had just said the target had last been seen wearing red.

“¡Me están jodiendo! ¿En serio? ¿Una mujer en un vestido rojo?” [They’re fucking with me. Really? A woman in a red dress?]

You could both hear Frankie through the mic link in his headset, and you couldn’t help but laugh. It quickly died as you and Whiskey tensed. The woman in red was a decoy, one that statistically caught the majority of users by surprise.

“Ma’am, are you-” She moved just barely and he saw the glint of where a gun was holstered. Frankie didn’t finish his sentence. Instead, he fired a shot to her chest and grumbled to himself before moving on. Normally, it wouldn’t have taken him that long to figure it out.

Whiskey whistled, thoroughly impressed. It wasn’t long after that Frankie found the real target and reached the ‘exfil location’.

“Damn, sweetheart, you sure picked a good one.”

He winked at you, and you grinned back as Frankie pulled off the headset and his kit, then walked over to you.

“Alright, agents! Catfish successfully completed the sim in 15 minutes, that’s your time to beat!”

A chorus of groans echoed in the training room. Whiskey ignored them and clapped Frankie on his shoulder.

“You did good, Flyboy, really set the bar high. Most people get caught up by the decoy.”

Frankie’s chest puffed out a little at the praise, but he was soon shaking his head. Before he could deflect the compliment, Whiskey squeezed his shoulder.

“Feeling hungry, Flyboy? Figured the three of us could grab a quick lunch before Cran steals Bourbon here away from us.”

“Yeah, I’m starving. Didn’t expect you to keep me busy like that.”

Vermouth entered the training room, and you waved him down.

“Hey, Vermouth! Watch the junior agents for us. Whiskey’s just got them running the sim. We’re going to go grab lunch!”

Without waiting for Vermouth’s answer, you grabbed Whiskey and Frankie’s hands, dragging them out of the training room and to the elevator.

“There’s a deli not far from the office we can walk to, and it’s late enough that we should miss the rush.”

Walking arm in arm with both of your boys, you could think of very few things better than right now. You didn’t care that you were in the middle of downtown New York. All that mattered was Whiskey on your right, and Frankie on your left.

Frankie did his best to relax and not let his anxiety and internal struggles get the best of him. Whiskey’s words echoed in his mind: “When it comes to me and Bourbon, keep an open mind and try not to overthink it.” That was a lot easier said than done, but he was working on it.

You were right, the timing made it so that you had missed the lunch rush. You all ordered your food, Whiskey stepping in to pay with a look that silenced both you and Frankie, then you all went to sit down.

Whiskey practically sprawled in his chair, his legs encroaching your space under the table and Frankie’s space next to him. Frankie sat somewhat stiffly but the more he ate, the more he seemed to relax. You nudge his foot with yours playfully to grab his attention.

“How’s your back? Mr. Ya-no-soy-joven.”

The three of you laughed, and Frankie shook his head with a wide grin on his face.

“I’m not! Gotta leave that shit for the young guys who think they’re invincible.”

“Young guys like Davis?” You shot back, smug on Frankie’s behalf.

“Cocky kid had it coming.”

There was no anger in Frankie’s eyes, only the slightest lilt of mirth in his voice as his gaze met yours, then Whiskey’s. Whiskey leaned forward and barked a laugh while patting Frankie on the back.

“He sure did. The lot of them were in need of a reality check. That’s why Champ specifically likes to have me or Bourbon take at least one pass at our junior agents. After all those hours spent training, they tend to forget that there are much bigger fish out there.”

Conversation flowed easily between them for the rest of their lunch. It reminded Frankie of the prior morning, when they were enjoying breakfast and everything just felt right. It felt as if all of the pieces of the puzzle were coming together, and this time, this time, it didn’t feel fleeting.

Walking to the office was much more comfortable than the walk to the deli had been. You noticed that Frankie was far less stiff under your touch on his arm, even leaning into you occasionally. You parted ways in the elevator. You were heading to the lab to play guinea pig for Cranberry, and your boys were headed upstairs to Whiskey’s office. Frankie seemed hesitant to let you go, and you did your best not to spook him, your heart fluttering in your chest.

Given everything that had happened, things needed to be almost wholly in Frankie’s court, at least until he was more comfortable around you. You had certainly noticed, however, how easily Frankie and Whiskey seemed to allow each other into their respective spaces. The elevator doors closed behind you as you strode down the hall. You were glad that they were comfortable together, though. It had definitely been a concern of yours, considering their respective pasts, but you also thought that there was the potential for them to relate and understand each other better than most.

The rest of the day passed by slowly, and as directed, Frankie remained Jack’s shadow. Jack did his best to keep from laughing when 5pm rolled around and Frankie began to subconsciously bounce his knee. He was scrolling on his phone, lower lip pulled between his teeth and brow furrowed as he tried to focus on whatever was on the screen.

You knocked on Jack’s open office door, raising an eyebrow when you saw Frankie startle at the sound. He wasn’t usually this jumpy. Jack’s gaze met yours, and you could see the amusement and mischief that bubbled in his eyes.

“Hey there, darlin’, you getting ready to head out for the night?”

“Just about, wanted to come see my boys before I do.”

Frankie’s knee stopped bouncing at your words, his phone falling into his lap as he looked up at you. You motion for him to scoot over a bit as you sit down on the couch next to him and rest your chin on your hand.

“We’re still on for dinner tomorrow, right?”

You posed the question to the room in general, even though the three of you knew that it was really directed towards Frankie.

“Uh yeah, I’m-I’m looking forward to dinner tomorrow,” Frankie says after clearing his throat and gives you both a shy smile. Leaning over, you take his large hand in your own and give it a squeeze.

“Great!” Standing up from the couch, you smooth your clothes, give Frankie a kiss on his cheek, and then kiss Jack. “I’ll find us a place, and we’ll figure it out more tomorrow. Night, Frankie. Night, Jack.”

A minute later, you’re gone, and suddenly there’s nothing keeping Frankie’s mind off of the time, which is painfully close to 6pm, when Jack said he’d be done with work. The moment the clock turned that final, eternal minute, Frankie sat up straight, attentive, and alert as his eyes watched Whiskey.

Jack leaned back in his chair, stretching, then relocated next to Frankie on the couch.

“I don’t want you to feel obligated to do anything tonight, Flyboy. If you feel like you’re not up for it, we’ll just grab dinner and head home.”

Frankie shook his head and took a steadying breath.

“No, I want this. I-I could really use it, Jack.”

Whiskey nodded, eyes wandering over Frankie as he adjusted on the couch.

“Alright, I use the green, yellow, red system. You need me to stop for whatever reason, call red, and that’s it, no questions, no hard feelings or fuss. I’ll get you cleaned up and help you come down. Sound good?”

Frankie nodded, his tongue suddenly thick and his mouth dry in anticipation. Jack tutted.

“I need you to use your words, Flyboy.”

Frankie swallowed, his heart beating wildly in his chest.

“I understand, s-sounds good.”

“Good. Now…” Jack pulled a small pad of stationary paper and a pen from the side table. “I want you to write out what you’re ok with and any hard or soft limits you have.”

Frankie nodded, then took the pen and paper and began writing.

[click for better quality]

A blush took hold of Frankie as he handed it back.

“It’s what I can come up with off the top of my head, for tonight at least. I’ll let you know if anything else comes up though.”

Jack’s eyes were dark as he perused the list, looking up from the paper to Frankie, he stood up with a smile.

“C’mon Flyboy… we’re gonna have some fun tonight.”

Thank you for reading! Reblogs & comments are much appreciated!

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[urimaginespimp]

Breathe (This love pt. 5)

Bucky x Reader

Set during Endgame

Look out for: Stubborn dad Thor, and 40s Bucky.

--------

Previous Chapter

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None of you thought it was going to end that way.

When Carol, a new friend of yours, found Tony in space with one of Thanos’ daughters, there was a spark of hope within you. But when your adoptive father chopped the titan’s head off out of rage, you knew you had to go back to the people who might be able tell you what’s next.

To visitors, the Norns’ cave felt eerie. But stepping in it for the first time after Thor took you under his care, it still felt like home. You could already feel the Norns’ presence despite not being submerged in the pool of water.

You smile at the memory of how they have the reputation of being cruel and torturous to anyone they possess, when they have never been less than gentle to you. Dipping your right leg first, you instantly felt how they made the water warmer. Walking into the middle, you waited for them to enter your consciousness.

Taking a deep breath, you laid yourself back and relaxed enough for your body to start floating on water. Then you felt them.

“We’ve been expecting you, child.” Your voice blended with theirs once they spoke up.

I’ve been meaning to visit you. I’m sorry I didn’t go sooner. You replied in your thoughts.

“You feel... broken.”

A titan got hold of the stones and snapped the universe’s population in half. I- I lost most of my family.

“We know. And now you’re here because your heart cannot rest.”

What can you tell me?

“There is a man...”

Of course, there is. You caught yourself thinking. There was a pang in your chest when you remembered how amused you were when one of your Midgardian friends rolled her eyes and said that phrase.

“Now is not the time, Y/N.” They snapped at you.

Sorry. Please continue.

“The man is stuck in a realm in Midgard, and he’s on his way.”

There is a realm within the Midgard realm? Confusion laced your thoughts.

“But remember child, it is not until resentment within your family is put aside, that you would have even an ounce of chance to fix everything.” You think back to how Stark still isn’t speaking to anyone of you. Yiu haven’t heard from him for years now.

How can I fix us?

“You can’t meddle in this one Y/N. It is only with time that the rough patch would heal.” you sighed in frustration but found yourself agreeing. If it’s for the best, then you’ll let time take its course.

“Now, you are banned from leaving the cave until you tell us about this Bucky that’s plaguing your mind.”

--------

When you were first introduced you as Thor’s adopted daughter to the Asgardians, they were polite but you could feel that they were still unsure of you. But with spending time with helping them fish and being patient enough to teach them the Midgardian lifestyle, they now treated you as their own princess despite not being of royal blood. But since Thanos, Thor has been more distant – leaving responsibilities to you and Val.

For five years, you tried to appear as if you were doing better than most. And after taking time to just wallow in sadness for a while, you finally started visiting Nat and Steve from time to time. You were glad to hear that Steve was going to therapy, and you know he means well when he drops hints that you should go with him and join his sessions, but you always gave lame excuses, and often diverted away from any topic that would involve Bucky.

Nat however, has never been one to shy away from calling you out. “I know there’s a part of you that still blames yourself for not bending his blood and brains out.” she once confronted you when you were lounging on the couch, day drinking and eating sandwiches. You sat up and gave her a sad smile, your eyes tearing up.

“Damn it Nat, I came here to drink, not to get therapy from you.” you chuckled, grimacing at how forced it sounded.

“But it was never your fault. Believe me when I say that we all blamed ourselves at some point.” She continued, and your eyes teared up.

In the last five years you thought no one could see that you’ve been beating yourself up for not getting to where Steve and Thor were sooner. You thought that maybe if you had, you would’ve stopped Thanos, and half of the world, including Bucky, would still be here.

“Sometimes I wake up thinking I’m still in Wakanda, and that this has all been a nightmare.” you breathed out, feeling yourself about to break down for the first time. “I can’t find myself to stop waiting for him even if I don’t know if we could ever bring everybody back.” you finally admitted.

“Y/N -”

“Nat, the worst part is that I never got to tell him I love him. I know he knew and didn’t feel the same way. But I still wish I got to.” tears were starting to spill from your eyes, and Natasha was quick to get the drink from your hand before it spilled, and take you in her arms for comfort.

If you were to be completely honest, half the reason you go out of your way to visit Nat and Steve, was so you could also visit The Smithsonian Institution, and just... look at him. You’ve read what was written about him over and over, but it wasn’t enough to replace the yearning that you have inside.

In your sleep you can sometimes still see him just seconds before the blip. On other nights, it’s just the image of him sleeping soundly – his lips parted slightly, and his breathing getting steadier by the minute, the crease between his brows relaxed, and his hair pushed and tied at the back after you offered to - a sight you’ve engraved in your mind after many nights of comforting him following a nightmare.

“He loved you too, Y/N”. Steve spoke out from the doorway, seeing your state. “Maybe not like the way you do, but I know he does. And today I went out for a walk and -”

“Steve, if you’re about to tell her to look on the bright side, I’m about to hit you on the head with a PeanutButter sandwich.” Nat cut him off.

But then everyone’s attention snapped to Nat’s desk, where a notification pinged. It says that someone was outside. Sliding on the call, there was a man outside, asking if anyone was at home. You know you’ve seen his face before, and after he finally said his name, you remembered who he is.

“Is this an old message?” Steve asked after a few seconds in shock.

“It’s the front gate.”

--------

“I’ll do it too.” You spoke up to the group.

The team was going to have two tests – one where it would be a quick time on wherever the test subject would want to go, and if it’s successful, the second would leave the test subject longer in the timeline they choose. And you just volunteered yourself right after Clint.

“No, I forbid you.” Thor spoke up from his seat. Everybody turned their attention to him in surprise. All along they thought he was asleep because he had sunglasses on and was unresponsive.

“Fa-”

He stood abruptly and came closer to you. “This is non-negotiable, Y/N. I’ve already lost enough; I can’t lose you too." Your eyes welled with tears in surprise. For the last five years he’s managed to shut everyone out including you – leading you to believe that he doesn’t care anymore and just hasn’t kicked you out, out of honor.

“We’ll let you both talk first.” You heard Steve say in a low voice, ushering everyone else out of the room.

Thor grunted and moved away back to his seat, still wearing his glasses, while you stayed standing, leaning in the corner. Taking a long hard look at him, you understood where he was coming from. But you also knew getting things right would be the only way to possibly get him back up again. And it was a risk you were willing to take.

“There was a time when I believed you were dead.” You started talking, regardless of not knowing if he was listening. “I jumped right into anger out of guilt, and as I was ruthlessly destroying those outriders, I thought I was gonna have to stay feeling that way forever. Just plain angry.” You chuckled and pushed yourself from the wall.

“But there was a moment where that anger was replaced by worry and fright. It was when Bucky was getting too overwhelmed by the creatures’ attacks. Yes, I almost got pierced like a kebab right after, but it was also the moment I realized that I preferred feeling any other emotions than blinding anger. I don’t want you feeling that way forever too.”

“I’m not angry.” he snapped, standing up once again to get closer to you.

“Yes, you are. But above all you’re hurting.” you stood your ground in front of him.

“I am definitely NOT hurting.” He sarcastically answered.

“Really? Then take those glasses off. Let me see those definitely not bloodshot eyes.” you smiled gently up at him, crossing your arms in front of your chest, when he snorted at you. “Don’t think I didn’t hear you sniffling and trying to hide it by pretend-drinking that empty can of beer earlier.”

“gods, why are daughters so annoyingly observant.” He muttered, finally throwing the empty can of beer somewhere in the room. You can see that the team was back just right outside the glass door. You gave them an assuring smile, and faced him again.

“Well?”

“If it works on Clint, then fine.” He groaned, and you couldn’t help but tackle him out of gratitude.

--------

Clint was on the ground once he returned, and Nat rushed to his side to check on him.

“Hey, look at me.” she asked him, and he turned to look at everyone. His eyes were teary, but it wasn’t from sadness.

It was hope.

“It worked!”

--------

“Now, Y/N. This time you’re going to be there for a longer period, okay? Use your powers if defense is necessary.” Banner instructed you. You were now standing at the center of the machine in your suit. But only Nat and Steve knew what you had under it. It was their idea.

“Are you ready?” This time, Nat was behind the controller with Banner to overlook it. You gave her a small smile and a nod.

“Wait, where are you going anyway?” You heard Scott asked out loud, as Nat input the year. You looked over to where Steve was standing and he was also grinning.

“Say hi to him for me.” you heard him say before you felt yourself shrunk. And you were in.

--------

You made it out of a tent, now out of your suit and left with the old nurse’s uniform you were wearing under it earlier. Everybody else was too distracted, cheering on Steve because he just brought back with him the soldiers from Hydra’s base.

You tried to calm your nerves, just realizing that the people around you were now most likely dead from your timeline. How many of them survived the war, and how many of their grandchildren have you befriended? And how many of those grandchildren were also taken by the blip?

When the crowd was starting to disperse and most of the people were trying to get back to their tasks, you found yourself roaming around, a little lost, trying to figure out where the medical tent is.

“Steve, I told you I feel fine.” you froze when you heard his voice a little far behind you.

“It’s better to make sure, Buck.” you heard Steve insist. You still couldn’t will your legs to keep walking. “And even if you are, you need rest. Just let me find you a...”

shit

“...nurse! Hey, ma’am!” You weren’t sure if you were the one Steve was calling out. Turning around slowly, your breath hitched when you finally faced them. Bucky’s own face went from annoyed to entranced in a second. He was staring at you with the very same pair of orbs you’ve been missing. Only that in this timeline, they still held a glint of playfulness and innocence in them.

You cleared your own throat when you realized it’s been a few seconds since anyone said anything. “Uh, what can I do for you, S- Captain?” you gave them a smile, trying not to chuckle from almost calling him by his first name.

“You know what, Steve, I am feeling a little funny.” Bucky nudged him with his elbow. And you turned your attention to him.

“Right. Uh, allow me to assist you, Sargeant.” you walked slowly towards him, feeling like your heart was going to jump out of your chest.

“Don’t do anything stupid.” Steve muttered to him.

He put his arm around your shoulder for support as you start walking to what you hope was the medical tent. It was only then you realized that it was left arm. Your hand shakingly reached for his wrist, careful not to go for the hand, as if you were just making sure that you would be able to help him hold himself up.

“So... what’s your name?” He started trying to make small talk.

“Y/N” you answered, trying to mask your nervousness.

“I’m James. But you can call me Bucky.” Hearing him introduce himself in such a confident manner struck you deeply. You know that after this, he wouldn’t be able to know who he is for decades to come.

You almost wanted to warn him.

“Are you okay?” He asked in concern after being met with silence.

“Yes, sir. I’m just a tad nervous. I’m kinda new here.” you gave him a tight smile.

“Please call me by my name. And lucky for you, I’m the easiest patient you’ll ever tend to, doll. All I need is some company while on bed rest.” He gave you a boyish smile.

“You got yourself a deal, James.” you found yourself returning the smile.

Entering what was thankfully the medical tent, you helped him settle down on one of the beds. There were only about 3-5 other patients, and they were all being tend to already.

“I’m kind of curious, why did you decide to serve?” he gave you a sheepish smile.

“Are you sure there isn’t anything wrong with you, soldier?” you asked him first, and he responded with a small shake of his head. Smiling, you came up with a believable answer. “My dad was a high-ranking officer, but something happened, and they lost a lot of people. And now he’s back home wallowing in guilt. I decided to serve in behalf of him, so now I’m here.” you bit the inside of your cheek. It wasn’t entirely a lie.

James was looking at you in awe, and he took your hand in his left one and gave it a light squeeze. “You don’t have a man waiting on you back home?” you could hear he was almost hesitant to ask.

You blinked away the tears threatening to spill. How would you be able to say something so heart wrenching?

“Bu... He was among those who didn’t make it.” you cleared your throat to compose yourself. This was all too much.

“I’m sorry for your loss.” he didn’t know what to say. He almost kicked himself for having a tinge of relief in knowing that you weren’t committed to anyone.

“He wasn’t really mine... I was in love, yes. And he knew but just didn’t really feel the same. And I never resented him for it. I just wish I was brave enough to really tell him before he...” you choked up and apologized to him, but there was no judgement behind his eyes.

“I’m sure he wouldn’t want for you to be filled with regrets every time you remember him. I know I wouldn’t.” He gave you an assuring smile, squeezing your hand in comfort as the tears finally run down your cheeks.

“I’m sorry for crying. Now they’re gonna think you were being mean to me.” you gave him a sad smile.

“Steve will lecture me about manners for sure.” He chuckled.

“He still does it.” You thoughtlessly blurted out, earning a confused look from him. “I- I’ve heard some people saying he’s been super righteous even way before he became the Captain America.” you sheepishly smiled, hoping he believed you.

“Yeah. Always been a punk.” He replied, but you could hear adoration lace his voice.

“I think I should leave you to actually get some rest.” You knew it was time to go.

He nodded and smiled at you. “You're the most beautiful nurse I’ve ever seen. I don't think most of us wouldn’t mind if your face is what will be the last thing we’ll see.”

“Yeah, there is definitely something wrong with you. Get some sleep, soldier.” you turned and was already near the way out, when he spoke up.

“We’re going on a raid tomorrow. Will I get to see you when we come back?”

You felt your heart drop. You knew what was about to happen to him.

You turned to face his way and walked back to him where he was now sitting up on the bed.

“James, you’re a strong man. You’re going to be okay.” eventually.

“Thank you, angel.”

It was your turn to give his left hand a squeeze. And bringing it up, you gave it a small kiss before gently dropping it back to him.

“I’ll wait for you to come back, Buck.” you smiled, and quickly left the tent before you completely break down.

It was time go back.

--------

@eternalharry @iheartsebandchris @lizzarooni @the-ayo-lit

@tanyaherondale @knowyourworth-sellyoursoul

Today is a great day. Fearless (Taylor's Version) + New TFATWS episode.

[jay-and-dean]

Yet another thing to celebrate

Dean x reader

Summary (I used the requester’s words) :  Reader’s birthday is on Christmas Eve, which generally sucks because everyone is either skint or celebrating Christmas.

Warnings : Fluffy fluff with a little fluff whipped cream on top. Very implied smut.

Wordcount : 3.6k

Note : This is my fic for @girl-next-door-writes Secret Santa (I reaaally hope you like it lovely, merry Christmas and happy birthday) hosted by @negans-lucille-tblr​ on @spnsecretsantaficexchange​.

I also made my participation to the amazing @acklesterritory​‘s celebration challenge, in the fic, my prompt was “I saw that, you just checked me out”, it’s bold in the fic.

The song refered to is She’s always a woman, by Billie Joel.

The text dividers are from the great @firefly-graphics​

Jay’s Masterlist

          Christmas…

           Before you even open your eyes, you sigh, grabbing the soft pillow in your fist and nuzzling on its softness in a sleepy grunt.

You don’t hate this day, but it often makes you a little sad despite your will to enjoy it fully. It is your birthday. December 24, the busiest day in the country, damn, in the whole West. And even if you are not the kind to want the full attention on you, to be spoiled or anything, you just wish sometimes that, for once, you could have a proper birthday.

           When you were a teen, you more than once even dared dreaming of a party you could throw, but Christmas is about family and basically about everyone. Not you.

           You dream of a little birthday party with friends, some drinks, music, maybe dancing a little... But it would be impossible unless you do it way before or way after, and it wouldn't really be the same...

           This year is different though.

           This winter, even if the celebration of your birth was totally forgotten, you don’t need anything more than what you have now. And what you have is Dean Winchester. Nothing is more important than that, nothing can make you happier.

           In fact, nothing can really make you feel any other way than blessed after this summer. After Dean kissed you on that hunt, after you two had sex in the Impala on your way home ; after later he asked you to stay in his bed for the night that other evening you both ended up naked. And finally, after he asked you to stay in his room for good a few weeks later, and started calling you his girlfriend.

           You smile thinking of waking up next to him and move your feet to find his behind you. But when you don’t, you turn and rub your eyes before opening them.

           Empty. Your shared bed is empty.

“Dean ?” is the first word you say, but the room stays cruelly silent.

Of course… It’s Christmas. He must be busy, like everyone is always on that day… The sting on your heart comes back... You have woken up with the man you love every single morning for the last few months, but not today.

           That is how lame your birthday can be.

           After staying in bed almost one hour, trying to shake that blues off by thinking of how blessed you are, you finally are about to get up and face that stolen day, but the door opens slowly.

           You close your eyes, not really knowing why, maybe just to avoid having to find an explanation for not getting up before if you were awake. The bed moves under Dean’s weight as he crawls on it slowly but you don’t move, even when he clumsily crushes your arm a little while hovering you.

“Happy birthday Baby” he whispers with his coffee breath close to your face. “Have you decided to skip today ? It’s almost noon.”

“Mh…” you hum, lifting your arms to reach his neck, desperate to feel his skin. “Thank you.”

You hesitate a second, wanting to ask him why he got up without you today, why he didn’t wake you with kisses and sweet words like he often does, but you don’t say anything, grateful enough that he got tired of you not being with him and came to get you.

           He lets a part of his weight fall on you, making you huff and laugh softly. His scruff scratches your shoulder, the rough fabric of his jeans is uncomfortable and his belt is digging to your hip but you wouldn't change a thing.

           Your hand goes to his neck and massages it softly, he hums, and you feel his body softly relax. You always know just how to calm him, how to make him fall back asleep after a nightmare, how to make his muscles calm after the roughest hunts. But after less than a minute, he grunts, sitting up.

"No, no" he shakes his head. "You're not making me skip that day with you ! Get up Baby."

He grabs your shoulders and playfully shake them, not realizing that even his kidding strength is huge.

"Geeet uuuup" he chuckles when your whole body is shaken and your laugh sounds funny because of it.

           The warm water runs along your hair and down your spine, and a soft steam fills the bathroom. For sure, that was a great late breakfast, with pancakes Dean had made for you, and his little stolen kisses.

           He is really making this day better.

           Maybe you can forget about your birthday now, and just enjoy Christmas like a normal person. You are loved, and you are happy, you don't need anything else.

           Washing your hair, you smile thinking of the tree the boys have bought, so big that they struggled to carry it up the stairs. You chuckle at thinking of Dean grumbling about the thorns covering Baby's seats. They even bought bags mysterious decorations and fairy lights they never let you see. The library now smells like Christmas tree.

           We're celebrating this year, Dean said. And in the years you have known the Winchesters, you indeed never saw them put so much effort in a holiday.

           A lot of things keep surprising you.

           Sam once told you that his brother had changed a lot since he was with you, making you worry more than anything else. You never wanted Dean to change, you love Dean just the way he is... Then you understood what Sammy was saying...

           You understood in the little things. Like Dean's new love for late mornings in bed, like him drinking a little less, being a little less reckless during hunts, humming in the shower, letting go more in bed, allowing himself to give up the constant control he has on himself... And in his will to celebrate Christmas. Dean is not different, he is just happier.

           Your eyes get a little wet with joy at the thought while your rub your body with the delicious smelling foam.

           Forget your birthday, if Dean's happiness demands this day to be the Christmas he didn't have as a kid, the Christmas he is finally allowing himself to want, then you are honored to help him make it perfect.

           You step out of the shower and your eyes meet the big mirror. In the middle of it, written with a big finger on the thick steam : "I love you Y/n".

           Your choice is made : This will be Christmas. This will be anything to make that man as lucky as you are.

"How can I help ?" you say, entering the kitchen where Dean is apparently trying to make cookies, wearing this apron he only puts on for great occasions.

"I'm making cookies men like in Shrek" he says pointing to the not-so-bad gingerbread biscuits he already cooked with his finger covered in dough.

           You come behind him and wrap your arms around his middle, forehead on his back, just feeling his breathing for a second. Dean doesn't stop what he is doing because he is used to you tenderly and randomly holding him, his clean fingers only come to gently caress your arm for a second before he shapes another cookie, chuckling when he adds a tiny penis to the little guy.

"I love you too" you murmur, nose grazing his back to bath in his smell.

He hums.

"We will eat dinner pretty early, I hope you're hungry" he says, looking at his watch. "I want to enjoy some time with my girl after."

You smile, getting on your tiptoes to kiss the uncovered skin of his neck above the collar of his flannel. He wants a lazy evening, making love like you do, or maybe try a kinky thing ; what is sure is you will gladly give him what he wants.

           Time goes by sweetly as you watch this deadly warrior check the turkey while his equally legendary warrior brother prepares another round of eggnog for the three of you. They move around like busy bees in the room and it's a perfect show.

           You sit on the counter, talking about silly things, sometimes doing something to help, when your boyfriend lets you. You keep sipping from the sugary drink, and watching the beauty of Dean just be before your eyes. Unaware of how perfect he is in his every moves, he just works with his strong arms and skilled hands.

           Your eyes linger a little along his thick thighs, and you bend your head to the side to enjoy the exquisite sight of the sensual curve of his butt.

"I saw that, you just checked me out" he says in a smile without even turning around.

"And ?" you let out in a chuckle. "What are you going to do about that ?"

At your surprise, he starts to rock his hips from right to left slowly in clumsy funny moves of his butt, like he wanted to sexy dance for you without stopping what he is doing, earning an eye roll from his brother when his hip hits him on his way.

           Christmas is already perfect.

           The table is beautiful. Different courses in pretty plates you didn't know the guys had filling it like you have only seen in the movies. There is way too much food for three people but you are so happy that your beloved Winchester can eat like they want for Christmas eve.

           Everything is pretty, the giant messy tree has real bright decorations on it and there are even a few presents at its feet, wrapped messily in colorful papers.

           But their most impressive work is the light in the room, changing the place completely. Almost none of the artificial lights of the bunker is on, and a subdued ambiance with fairy lights and candles make it look even more magical than it usually is.

"When did you find the time to do all that ?" you smile with unintended wetness in your enthralled eyes. "It looks... enchanted in here."

"You stayed in bed until noon" Dean says in a light chuckle, pulling a chair for you and putting a kiss on your cheek. "Merry Christmas baby."

"It's perfect, Deanie" you turn your head so his next kiss lands on the corner of your mouth. "Merry Christmas guys."

Sam sits, rubbing his hands at the sight of the turkey, and starts reminding his brother of an old memory of a past Christmas you listen with all your focus. Everything that can make you know more about their life always catches your full attention. You are, after all, their biggest fan.

           The story is about a Christmas when Dean was a teen. He had spent the night between 23th and 24th December with a girl and was really late to come back to the motel. Sam thought maybe he wouldn't be back for diner, he had already taken the cereals out of the closet when Dean showed up carrying the whole cooked Turkey he had stolen from the girl's parents.

           You look at your boyfriend with all the love in the world and bend to give him a kiss on the forearm while he cuts a piece of this not stolen meat for you.

"Her parents were dicks, and I couldn't let you starve, dad would have killed me" Dean chuckles, filling your plate.

           But you know the story must be really different from just that, Dean never brags about how great he was with Sam.

           You let out a little moan, tasting the food and Dean’s face is lit by a wide proud grin.

“It’s good ?” he asks before he even tastes, an excited hope in his eyes.

“Delischious” you answer with your mouth full, a hand before it.

           And indeed, everything is perfect. Dean, as much as Sam can playfully denies it, is a great cook. He has no technique, no cooking education, but what he has is a real love for food and comfort, a great experience on mixing things and tasting that gives him a perfect intuition. And, above all, the strong selfless will of saying "I love you" with food like some people have.

           Sitting on the floor next to the tree, you hold against you the red flannel Dean finally agreed to give you, and the books Sam bought for you. Your head is leaning lovingly on your lover's shoulder while he looks, exited, at the vinyl records he got, humming his favorite songs.

           You crawl between his thighs and rest your back on his chest, your head back, temple grazing his scruff.

"Best Christmas ever" you smile, feeling his lips graze your cheek. "So what is the program of a Winchester Christmas after that ?"

You close your eyelid and take a deep breath of Dean's scent, expecting a sexy proposition.

"We're going somewhere" he smiles, and, when you open your eyes, you see Sam put on his coat.

"Now ?" you frown, a little confused. "Where ?"

Dean gets up, putting you on your feet with his strong arm, and takes his coat and yours from Sam's hands.

"I'm not telling you. Take your jacket and get in the car."

           He is silent on the road despite all your questions.

           You listen to the car's purring and look outside to try to guess where they are taking you. The white snow covers the sides of the road with a very thin and delicate layer, the headlights are hit with little swirling snowflakes, and no clue betrays their surprise.

           Sam is smiling, looking out the window. You know they have been planning something, and you know you will love it. Maybe they will show you a place they used to go when they were kids, maybe take you to a special place where you can see the stars so clearly, like this time last summer.

"Come on Dean" you say, kneeling on Baby's back seat to wrap your arms around him from behind, going down a little to feel his firm chest though his shirt under your palms. "Tell me."

"You can't wait just five minutes" he tries to grunt, but it sounds more like a chuckle.

           You fall silent, not letting go of him, holding him like the precious treasure he is, occasionally smelling his hair, kissing his shoulder and tracing the contours of his ear. You just can't stop touching him, and since that talk you had after sex once, you know how much he loves it.

"Aw" Sam mocks you like he often does. "You two are so cute."

"Fuck yeah we are" Dean groans, turning right to a one way road.

"You know Christmas is already perfect" you smile. "You don't have to surprise me again."

"Yeah, I know" he says, parking in front of a bar. "But, it's not only Christmas today."

           You look around, confused. The guys open the door, letting the freezing cold enter the Impala, and get out in a perfect sync. You follow them, lifting your eyes to the colorful neon lights reflecting in the snowy night. Around on the parking lot, more cars than you would have expected are parked, and you wonder who would spend Christmas eve in a bar like this one.

           But before you can wonder why they would have taken you there, to this bar you never heard off, your boyfriend's hand wraps around your waist and he guides you inside, pushing the heavy doors.

           The first thing that hits you is the perfect warmth of the inside. The temperature is perfect but not only : the music is smooth like honey, it's this kind of blues that is paradoxically happy and comforting, it smells like wood and whiskey ; and above all, here too, there is something about the light that feels like a hug.

           The second thing that hits you is the welcoming familiar face of Garth smiling to you.

"Garth ?" you frown and feel Dean's lips graze your ear. "Happy birthday Baby."

He lets go of you to walk to the people there at the bar, arms open to greet them, letting you stunned.

           You are recognizing all you friends there, still in their Christmas clothes, walking to you to hug you and bring you drinks and for a few seconds, your body just stays still.

           No one is missing, not one person. And, even if you don't have hundreds of friends since you joined the hunter life, you have never seen a room so full of love.

"Let me take your coat" Jody says, seeing you froze to the spot.

"I... You're here for me ? Th-they planned all that ?" you stammer with some watery emotions filling your eyes.

"Dean did" Jody smiles. "We followed."

             You're sipping from that delicious drink the bartender made according to your tastes, unable to take that smile off of your face. Donna, a little tipsy in her pretty outfit, is telling sexy jokes with a full dimpled smile, making Sam chuckle and Charlie high-five her, spilling a little of her drink on you.

           From the corner of your eye, you look at him.

           He is bending on the pool table with a smirk, his beer next to him. From here, you can't hear what he is saying to the other players, but it seems a little cocky. After only a few seconds staring at him, it's like he felt it and he looks up, giving you the cutest wink.

           And you blush. Because even after all you have lived together, even after the kinky experiences, the intimate moments, after seeing him cry, yell, suffer or come... A wink is still enough to turn you to a blushing mess.

           All evening, he has been keeping his distance just a little. Not avoiding you at all but not clinging to you, to let you enjoy your friends, to let you have the full experience of a birthday party like you dreamed of since you were a teen.

           A birthday with loud silly discussions, a lot of drinks, inventing silly tipsy games with your best friends, trading your clothes in the bathroom, catching up as much as dancing with each other... And you never felt loved that much.

           Dean's love is the sun in the middle of your world, but now you can also see the stars, and it is probably the best night of your life so far.

           He managed to do something you never could for years and all your friends agreed with his crazy plan. They all had an early Christmas diner to be able to drive here, offer you too many drinks and be there for you. They all made it about you and you're both incredibly grateful and emotional. And since most of them will come sleep at the bunker -and eat all the leftovers with you tomorrow- you don't have to care about the time.

           Suddenly, a music note catches your ear.

           You know that note by heart. It is the first note of your favorite love song, it is the firsts notes of what Dean hums in your ear sometimes when he holds you after making love to you, pushing your hair on the side to see your sweaty bliss face.

           You turn you head and meet green eyes, closer than you expected.

"Hey" he says, taking your hand.

"Hey" you smile.

He tugs gently at your arm, pulling you away from the bar to wrap his arms around your waist.

           You have missed him. Of course he was here, but after everything he has done for you, you really have missed holding him, smelling his skin and kissing his lips.

           He starts to sway his hips really slightly, humming the love words of the song, and you throw your arms around his neck, looking up at his perfect face.

"She can kill with a smile, she can wound with her eyes..." he whispers the lyrics, fingers grazing the skin of your neck.

And for the hundredth time today, your eyes fill with happy tears while his fingertips go down on your back to hold your waist again.

"Are you having fun ?" he asks low, one hand stroking your lower back tenderly, thumb pushing your shirt up discreetly to feel your skin.

"It's the best night of my life" you give him your most sincere smile. "Dean... You are really incredible, you know that ?"

"Yeah" he nods, hiding his shyness in a kiss on your lips.

"I really was ready to chose Christmas, you know ?" you state, swaying your hips slowly with him, forgetting the rest of the world in your bubble of love.

His plumb lips gently raise on the corner, and he lets go of you to search his pocket.

"I didn't have to choose between hunter life and happy life thanks to you, so I'll make sure you never have to choose between your birthday and Christmas" he murmurs in your ear, before kissing your temple.

His hand reach yours and he opens it to put a little thing on your palm.

"What do you say we had yet another thing to celebrate on that day ?" his breath tickles  your neck and you look down to your hand, discovering a little golden ring with a tiny blue stone in the middle of your shaking palm.

"Dean ?"

"Marry me Baby ?"

FEEDBACK IS SO IMPORTANT TO ME

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[winterscaptain]

fear itself.

Aaron Hotchner x Gender Neutral Reader

a/n: part two of the 100 arc! this installment covers the events of faceless, nameless. i am living for the feedback! please keep it coming. i can’t wait to hear what you think as we go through this (very emotionally wrought) section.

an ajf fic arc that happily stands on its own! one | two | three | four | five | six | seven | eight | nine | ten | eleven

words: 4.5k warnings: canon-typical violence, language, hospital setting

summary: four hours of sleep and aaron’s missing. what else could go wrong?

masterlist | a joyful future masterlist | requests closed!

4:02am “Just got home, so I’m calling like you asked. Shoot me a text when you get back to the apartment, if you aren’t already asleep. Call me when you’re up and we can work on that Nebraska consult, maybe in the early afternoon? Goodnight. Sleep well.”

8:13am “Hey, it’s me. I know I’m not supposed to be worried about you, but we were called in a half hour ago and you’re still not here...so...give me a call when you get this. Bye.”

8:48am “Hey, it’s me, checking in again. You’re probably still asleep, but I’ve never known you to sleep more than seven hours...so if I don’t hear from you by eleven I’ll drag you out of bed myself.”

9:51am “We’re headed to the crime scene. Garcia’s sent you the address. I know JJ’s been calling you too, so just...I dunno? Call us back? Bye.”

10:20am “If you’re getting these and ignoring me, I hope you know you’re taking years off my life right now.”

11:08am “Um...Call me back. I’m starting to worry. Well...not starting. I’ve been worried. But I’m getting...really worried.” 

11:37am “Aaron please call me and let me know you’re alright. You’re scaring me.”

+++

Needless to say, it’s been a weird day. Why you expected anything else after that wretched Canada case and four hours of sleep, you have no idea. 

You had a horrible dream last night, on top of everything else. The image of Aaron broken and bleeding beside you hadn’t left your mind since it first appeared in Foyet’s kitchen. You tried to shake it off every time, but it was persistent. 

We’ll worry about that later. 

You check the time again, trying to ignore the weird feeling in your gut. 

Where is he? 

Your phone rings and your heart leaps. Guilt (and a little bit of embarrassment) pricks at you when you’re disappointed to see Emily’s name on your phone. You answer. 

“You have to get down here.” Her voice isn’t frantic, per se, but the urgency is undeniable. 

“What’s going on?” 

She takes a breath. “I just got off the phone with Garcia - I have crime scene techs and SWAT on the way to Hotch’s apartment, and I need you here.” 

All the blood in your body seems to rush into your head, and you lean heavily on the nearest object - the dining room table. “What?”

“I - I don’t know. All his stuff is here and there's -” She stutters for a second. “There’s blood on the carpet, broken glass, and a bullet hole in the wall by the kitchen. No Hotch.” 

An eerie kind of calm washes over you, and you straighten, making eye contact with Derek. “Okay. Let me just -”

Derek gets a call, but keeps his eyes on you. “What’s goin’ on, Baby Girl?...What do you mean ‘Emily just called SWAT to Hotch’s apartment’ what -“

You break his gaze as he nods at you and turns to the rest of the team. “Emily, I’ll be right there. Don’t go anywhere.” 

+++

You make it to the hospital with Emily. You flash your credentials and it gets you exactly where you want to go. 

When you see him, your breath catches. He looks awful - drawn and small and wrapped in what seems like miles of gauze. Emily grabs your arm, but you’re not sure if it's for her benefit or yours. 

This is, after all, your worst nightmare come to life. A little chill crawls up your spine. This whole thing has you feeling six different kinds of scared. 

The nurse lets you into his room, telling you he’ll be out for another hour, at least. “He needs the rest.”

Emily leaves you to retrieve coffee. You take the opportunity to sit beside him and slide your hand under his, careful not to disturb the IV. Your hand shakes - whether from anxiety, fear, fury, or all of the above, you’re not sure. 

“If you die, Aaron Hotchner, I’ll kill you.”

You hear a little laugh from the doorway and you pull your hand from him. Emily shakes her head, two cups of coffee in her hands. “You’re fine. I'm not going to tattle.”

You squint. “Tattle?”

She rolls her eyes. “You’re so clueless it’s almost cute, but he’s worse.” She throws her head toward Hotch with a fond smile, handing you your cup of coffee.

+++

The rest of the team arrives in a flurry a little while later, and the nurse has to warn them off as Aaron starts to wake. 

They quiet down, surrounding his bedside. You haven’t moved, making it your mission to keep your eyes on him at all times. 

His eyes flutter before closing again. “Where am I?”

“You’re in the hospital,” you say, keeping your voice quiet and steady despite the tightness in your chest. 

“How did I get here?”

Derek gets that one. “Foyet drove you.” 

Aaron takes a breath. It’s shaky, and you imagine he’s in a lot of pain. Emily leans forward, looking for his eyes. “Can you remember what happened?”

He tells you, slowly, about how Foyet broke into the apartment, waited until he was home with his guard down, fired a shot, and then...He trails off. A heavy breath leaves him. “What did he take?”

You have an answer. “There was a page missing from your day planner, the Bs from the address section.” 

He closes his eyes and his breath grows faster, his heart rate increasing. After a moment, he collects himself and asks Emily, “What did he leave?”

“I don’t know.” 

“He also leaves something with his victims.”

Emily shakes her head. “I looked through your entire apartment. Nothing felt out of place.”

“Where are my clothes?”

“Right here.” You reach over, grabbing the bag and removing his bloody shirt with only the barest moment of hesitation. He reaches for the envelope of his personal effects and you press it into his hand, saving him the effort. 

Tears prick at your eyes as you watch his hands shake, opening his wallet. He’s eerily quiet, and you catch a glimpse of a photo, tucked into the fold. 

Haley and Jack. There’s blood on it. You recognize it from the desk in his home office space. 

No. 

Aaron’s come to the same conclusion, falling back on the pillows with a look you can only describe as defeated. It scares you. You swallow, pushing your tears back. 

That’s the last thing he needs right now. 

“Haley’s maiden name is Brooks. I always listed her in the Bs in my personal information in case it fell into the wrong hands.” Your hand, like JJ’s, has fallen over your mouth. 

Oh. 

Of course. 

Of course, he keeps her under Brooks. All he wants to do is keep her safe. 

You hope, one day, that someone will love you that much, will want to protect you with the same ferocity, will think of you before anything else. 

You could only be so lucky. 

He swallows and continues. “He knows where they live.”

Derek makes assignments. You’re to stay right where you are, while the rest focus on locating Haley and Jack. 

When it’s just the two of you, he closes his eyes again. “I don’t know what I’m going to do if -”

“They’ll find her. They’ll find Jack. They’ll be safe.”

You have to believe it, too. They’re too important to you, to central to your life, now 

He shakes his head, his eyes cracking open. “Why didn’t I just take the deal?” Clearing his throat, he continues, his voice a little stronger, but still rough. “He told me I should have. I never thought -” He cuts himself off.

You hand him a cup of water, and he takes it gratefully. Idly, you note he hasn’t looked you in the eye yet. 

“Do you want an answer to your question?”

He doesn’t answer you, looking across the room. 

You lean into his eye line. “You didn’t take the deal because you have the most integrity of anyone I’ve ever known. Anything he does is on him. It’s not on you.” 

“But,” his voice breaks and the smallest of tears falls out of his eye. It tracks down his temple until you gently wipe it away with your thumb. “But I could have stopped all of this.” 

“No,” you whisper. Your hand lingers on the side of his face. “No. He’ll be this way wherever he goes. The only way you change that is by catching him, Hotch.” 

He finally looks at you, his brown eyes exhausted, hurting, and bloodshot. You card your fingers through the hair at his temple, putting the oxygen cannula back over his ear. Soon, he closes his eyes again, his vitals evening out as he falls asleep. 

“We’ll get him, Aaron.”

A few tense minutes later, your phone buzzes in your pocket. When you see the caller ID, a shot of adrenaline zings around your body. “Haley?”

Your name is a sigh of relief in her mouth. “SWAT scared the hell out of me and I just - I don’t know.”

“Oh, Haley I’m so sorry. I should have gone over there with the team but -“ Derek knew my stress wouldn’t be useful. 

“No, no. It’s fine. They’re getting Jack from a friend’s house, but they told me what’s going on. I’ll see you when I get to the hospital. I just -“ She laughs, but there’s no humor in it. “I just freaked out.”

“I know. I’m sorry. I’ll see you soon.”

“I’ll see you soon. I love you.”

Your heart pulls. “I love you, too.” 

She hangs up, and you stuff your phone back in your pocket. 

Aaron wakes again when you pull a case file from your bag, but you’re not sure it’s your doing.

Shit. 

He looks around a little frantically for a moment, still disoriented. You rise and cross the room, finding one of his hands. 

“Hotch, it’s okay. You’re still in the hospital.” 

“Haley?”

You nod. “They got her. She’s safe and she’s on her way with Jack.” 

He finally relaxes, sinking back down into the pillows. “Thank you.”

You nod and resume your place on the other side of the room, patting the back of his hand as you let him go. He’s quiet, if not a little fidgety. You look at him for a minute. He takes a talking breath. 

“After the first one, it kind of goes blank.” His breath is still a little unsteady, and you take your chair next to his bed again. “There were nine, apparently.” 

Your breath catches. It’s not new information, but it’s still raw, sharp-edged. 

Awful.

He swallows. “He taunted me.” His eyes beg you to understand, to keep him from flying off the rails. 

“He’s a bastard, Aaron.”

He levels you with a withering stare. No shit. 

“I know you know that, but it’s worth repeating.”

“I don’t want -“

You interrupt him, knowing exactly where he’s going. “You’re not going to become a victim. You aren’t a victim.”

“I don’t want Haley to -“ 

You press a hand to his arm, mindful of his bandages. “One day at a time. They’re safe today.”

His lip quivers and his voice leaves him in a whisper. “That’s not good enough.”

+++

Eventually, Haley arrives looking a little worse for wear. 

Her haircut’s really cute. 

The thought almost makes you laugh. 

Of all the things to notice...

You startle a little as you remember where you are and rise, ready to give them space. She waves you off, giving you permission to stay. 

“How do you feel?” She asks. 

Aaron sits up a little more, not without effort, and says, “I’m gonna be okay.” 

That’s not what she asked, stupid. 

He continues. “Did they explain to you what’s happening?”

She nods. “They said the marshal's service is taking us straight from here and putting us into protective custody.” Her eyes meet yours, and you dip your chin. She’s right. 

Aaron apologizes to Haley for the first of what you imagine will be many times. 

Her lower lip disappears between her teeth. “Do you know where they’re gonna take us?”

“No,” you answer. “We don’t. And that’s the point.” 

“I can’t know where you’re going,” Aaron adds. “If you have any contact with anyone, he can track you.”

That shocks her a little, and you can see she’s getting upset. “Jack has school. He has friends. I have a job now. I have -” She cuts herself off. 

“I know.” He levels a steady, solemn gaze upon her. “And I’m sorry. We will catch him and you’ll come back.”

She looks at you again. “Are you sure we’re in danger?” 

You nod, almost imperceptibly, and Hotch answers. “Yes.” 

“And what about you? Are you gonna be safe?”

There it is. 

She does love him. 

You knew that, of course. Seeing them together during visits at home or out to dinner or otherwise in the presence of that other, that was never in question.

Your heart tugs. 

Twenty-five years... 

“He wants to see me suffer. Knowing that my son is out there and that I can’t see him is better than killing me.”

Haley wets her lips and swallows. 

That’s her tell. 

You figure she’ll burst into tears pretty soon. It was only a matter of time, and you don’t blame her in the least. You’ve had tears threatening you all afternoon, and this wasn’t even happening to you. 

“Jack wants to see you.”

Aaron’s jaw gets a little tight. “I want to see him, too. I just don’t think it’s a good idea.” 

You hear what he can’t say, too. I don’t want to scare him. I don’t want him to see me like this. 

“Look,” she says, exasperated. “I know you’re trying to protect him, but you both need this. Please.”

He nods, resigned. “Okay.”

Haley looks over and offers you a shaky smile, trying to break the tension. “He also asked me if you’d be here. He’ll be thrilled.” 

That almost does you in. “So will I,” you tell her, meaning every syllable. 

With another brisk nod and wipe of her face, she leaves the room to retrieve Jack. Aaron sits up a little straighter and you help him. He tries to suppress his wince, but fails. 

“Do you need another round?” 

He shakes his head. “I’ll be fine.”

“Just let me know.” You settle back into the corner, the case file in your lap. 

Haley and Jack return, and she brings him to Aaron’s side, lifting him up onto the bed. 

Aaron meets his eyes and tells him that he’s okay, giving him a little preparing for what’s about to happen. “But, what do I tell you whenever I go away?”

“That you love me.” 

You hide your face, looking out the window as tears finally fall from your eyes. Haley’s eyes are on you and you know it. You wipe at your face and take a quiet breath before turning back, pretending to pay attention to the case in your lap. 

In your periphery, you can see Aaron looking over Jack’s face as if to memorize it, as if he doesn’t already know every plane, every curve, every angle of his son’s face. “More than anything in the world.” 

They exchange a few more words before he brings him close and kisses his forehead. You glance up, and they look so alike in their profiles it almost makes you smile. Haley’s crying, too, and she meets your eyes. 

Something passes between you, but you don’t have a name for it. 

You don’t need one. 

Haley takes a breath and tucks her hair behind her ears. She redirects Jack’s attention to you, and his eyes light up. She helps him scramble off the bed and he books it around the bed to you. 

You close the case file and open your arms to him. “Hi, bud.” It’s hard not to scare him with the feverish way you hold him close, your fingers wound in his hair. 

There’s a failed attempt to avoid thinking about the uncertainty of the future, when you’ll see him again. 

If ever.

Stop. 

The pair of you lean back for a minute, and you brush his hair away from his forehead. 

“Are you going away, too?” He asks. 

You shake your head. “I’m gonna stay here with your dad.” 

“Are you going to keep my dad safe? I’m going to keep Mom safe.”

It’s Aaron who looks away this time. 

“Of course, my love.” You offer him something you hope looks like a smile. “We always keep each other safe. We’re a team, like you and your momma. I’m so proud of you.” You check in with Haley, who’s looking away, the back of her hand swiping at her cheek. When she turns back to you, you tilt your head a little. 

Want a minute? 

She nods. 

You stand, Jack still tucked against your chest. “I think,” you say, as he sits back in your arms, “Miss Emily and Miss JJ are back and might have something fun for you over there.” You tip your head toward the waiting room. “Wanna go see?”

He nods, leaning back into you and playing with your collar. You pat Aaron’s knee and squeeze Haley’s shoulder with your free hand as you pass. 

Aaron watches you go, your low murmuring comforts to Jack lost in the ambient hospital noise. When you find JJ and look back, giving him a small (if not a little watery) smile, he looks over at Haley, guilt closing up his throat. 

“I’m so sorry, Haley. I promise, when this is all over, I’ll spend the rest of my life making it up to you.” 

She gives him a half-smile and sits on the edge of his bed. She reaches for him, and he takes both of her hands in his. There’s silence for a moment as they sit together. She studies him. 

While it doesn’t bother him (she has been looking at him for nearly twenty-five years, after all), he does feel more exposed under her gaze than he’s used to. 

“You should do something about that, one of these days,” she says, looking over her shoulder. You’re still visible in the window, talking to JJ while Jack is still glued to you. His little arms are tight around your neck, his head tucked under your chin.

Aaron’s brow furrows, but the EKG picks up the increase in his heart rate, much to his embarrassment. “What are you talking about?”

Haley laughs, a light, watery, delicate thing, and turns back to him. It almost brings a smile to his face. “Do you think I don’t know what you look like when you’re head over heels, Aaron Hotchner? After eighteen years of marriage and twenty-five years knowing you? Give me a break.”

His jaw grows tight, but he holds her gaze. 

“You used to look at me like that, you know.” A little smile plays at her lips and she looks down, almost shy. “Still do, sometimes.” 

“I love you, Haley.” 

She squeezes his hand. “I know you do.” A sigh leaves her and she looks over her shoulder again, just catching a glimpse of you and JJ out in the hall with Jack as you go scavenging for something sweet. There’s a little smile at the corner of her mouth when she turns back to him. “You are so loved, Aaron.” 

“I don't…” He huffs, frustrated. “I don’t feel -”

“I’m not saying you have to do anything, but it might do you some good to just…” She sighs, throwing a hand up in a kind of searching gesture. “I don’t know, be honest with yourself. Think for a minute.” 

His teeth worry the inside of his lower lip as he thinks about it. He does care about you. But love? 

He thinks of the way his chest feels too small whenever you laugh, the way he always goes above and beyond to make sure you’re safe in the field, how he looks for you when you’re out of the room, how he looks for you when you’re in the room. 

The way you are with Jack brings him to his knees every time. The sound of his son’s laughter under your tickling fingers never fails to bring a smile to his face. 

You’ve helped him heal what seemed like an insurmountable chasm between him and Haley, and though it’s not perfect, it’s better than it would ever be without you. 

You always take a second to straighten his tie and ensure his suit jacket lays flat across his shoulders before leaving the plane, just like he always takes time to count the rounds in your magazines or tuck your tag back into your shirt collar. 

He always feels so warm under your fond and attentive touch. With a little bit of alarm, he hopes you feel the same under his. Safe. Cared-for. 

Loved. 

Oh. 

Oh no.

He knows the realization is clear on his face when Haley laughs again, surprising them both. She swipes at her eyes again, clearing any remaining tears. “You know, I can’t say I’m surprised you didn’t know, but it’s still funny, even with all this.” She shakes her head. “You haven’t changed much, have you?”

His face breaks out into a little smile as he looks back at her. “Oh, quit.” 

“I’ll never quit giving you hell, as long as we live.” Haley reaches out, pushing gently against his shoulder. He takes the shove like a champ, even through the ache in his chest and abdomen, thankful she’s not treating him like he’s made of glass. 

“Don’t I know it.” 

They look at each other for a minute before Aaron sobers, the mirth evaporating between them. He already misses her. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry for all of this. I’m hoping it’ll be...temporary.” 

“I do have a life, Aaron. And Jack…” She sighs and her eyes fill with tears again. 

“I know. I’m sorry. I wish there was another way to keep you safe, but -” He cuts himself off, knowing there’s nothing he can say. 

She swallows again. She already misses him. “How am I supposed to keep him safe when there’s nobody I know to help me?”

He sighs, but speaks with conviction. “Haley, you’re strong. You lived with me in this job and you’ve practically raised Jack all by yourself. You’re a great mother.” 

Haley’s actively crying now, trying to stem the tears with her fingers. It’s not working. After a moment, she collects herself. “Can you catch this man?”

“I will catch this man.”

+++

When she leaves Aaron’s room, you bring Jack to her. You take a moment to lightly fuss over them both. 

Her blue eyes find yours. “Take care of him, please?”

You nod. “I will.” 

“He needs you.” 

She says it with a simple kind of conviction that makes your chest pull. You put a hand on her shoulder, trying to communicate everything you can’t say into your touch. “He needs you more.” 

“No, he doesn’t.” Her lips twist in an odd sort of smile and she wraps you in a hug and kisses your cheek. “I’ll see you soon.” 

You hold her tight, Jack trapped (and whining a little) between you. “See you soon, Hales.” You pull back, looking deeply into her eyes. “We’ll get him.” 

The U.S. Marshals arrive, and you have to let go of each other. You press a kiss to Jack’s forehead and tell him you love him one more time, and wait until they’re in the car and out of sight before you break down. 

You don’t know where he came from, but Derek wraps around you, catching you before your knees hit the ground. You don't know what you’re crying about, really. 

It could be the overwhelming task of catching Foyet.

It could be Hotch in the room down the hall with nine stab wounds to his chest and abdomen. 

It could be the indefinite absence of your dear friend and her son - a boy you love more than anyone except maybe -

Nope. Don’t go there. Not now. 

Sobs wrack your chest, and your head hurts and your throat is sore by the time your body lets you breathe. 

Derek’s there the whole time, rubbing your back and keeping your face hidden in the crook of his neck and shoulder. “It’s gonna be okay, kiddo. It’ll be okay. He’s okay. We’re gonna catch this son of a bitch.” 

“It’s just so much, Derek.” 

He sighs. “I know. I know.”

+++

“Did you hear what happened this morning?”

You’re woken by Dave’s voice, coming from the doorway. Cramped and crunched into the corner of an uncomfortable chair, you stretch and what feels like every joint in your body cracks. 

“No.”

When did Aaron wake up? 

You look over at him and he glances at you before returning to Dave, who’s leaning on the door frame. 

“We had a situation. Unsub had already killed two people. Said he was gonna keep killing unless a man used his son as bait.”

“What happened?”

Good question. 

Belatedly, you realize you’ve neglected your case duties all day in favor of holding vigil over Aaron’s bedside. The weirdest part about it? The rest of the team let you. 

Why? 

“We kept the boy safe. Worked the profile. It was a happy ending.” 

That’s good, at least. One fucking happy ending today. 

It’s like Dave’s reading your mind as he asks Aaron, “Do you know why I’m telling you this?”

“Yes.” Aaron’s gaze is impassive, but there are universes behind his eyes. 

“No other group in the world could have pulled off what yours did in a matter of hours.” Dave checks in with you, and the corner of your mouth lifts. 

Sorry. 

He shakes his head just a little. No sweat, kid. You did your job.

“I appreciate what you’re trying to do, Dave, but -”

Dave cuts him off. “We’ll get Foyet.”

“I promised Haley I would get him. But the truth is, if he stops killing we have no way of tracking him. He stopped killing for ten years just for the pleasure of watching Shaunessy’s life fall apart.” 

He’s crying again, and your heart breaks. You’re surprised Dave can’t hear it crack all the way across the room. 

“What’s Jack going to remember about me in ten years?”

No. 

“Hotch, look at me.” You rise from your chair and sit on the edge of the bed, careful not to disturb his position. He turns his head just so, his brown eyes locking onto yours. “We’ll get him. We will get him.”

We have to. 

+++

tagging: @arganfics @quillvine @stxrryspencer @agenthotchner @hurricanejjareau @ughitsbaby @rousethemouse @criminalsmarts @shrimpyblog @genevievedarcygranger @ssaic-jareau @good-heavens-chris-evans @davidrossi-ismydad @angelsbabey @writefasttalkevenfaster @venusbarnes @hotchsflower @ogmilkis @marvels-agents100 @hotchslatte @risenfox @mrs-dr-reid @captain-christopher-pike @dwellingsofrosie @pan-pride-12 @sunshine-em @word-scribbless​ @jdougl-love​ @sageellsworth05​ @dreila03 @forgottenword @aaronhotchnerr @ssa-morgan @buckybau @sana-li @tegggeeee @abschaffer2 @ssacandice-ray @ellyhotchner @lotties-journey-abroad @mrs-joel-pimentel-23-25 @laneygthememequeen @violentvulgarvolatile  @mooneylupinblack @ssareidbby @violet-amxthyst @bwbatta @roses-and-grasses @lcvischmitt @capricorngf @missdowntonabbey @averyhotchner @mandylove1000 @cevanswhre @qvid-pro-qvo @jeor @spencers-hoodrat @infinity1321 @zizzlekwum @popped-weasels @evee87 @nuvoleincielo @this-broken-band-girl @reidtomestyles @hotch-meeeeeuppppp @winqhster @spencerelds

[ohdearhiddles]

request: What about a one shot where there's a really big age gap between reader and tom and one night the reader tells him that she feels like she's holding him back from settling down/family etc. and he comforts her..... basically fluff please? thanks!!

TITLE: With You

WORD COUNT: 1914

AUTHOR NOTES/WARNINGS: fluff fluff :) i have a problem with writing too much. i hope this was okay!!

The door to your bedroom opened softly, revealing a tired and disheveled Tom. He had been out all day for interviews and public events, working hard even when he was technically not meant to be working at all. His curls were more than just a little messy; he looked as if he had run his fingers through them a countless number of times throughout the day. As your eyes locked with his, he smiled. You smiled back at him, knee bouncing up and down as you sat at the edge of your bed, book in hand. 

“How was your day,” you questioned him, curling your leg underneath you in order to turn in his direction. Tom loosened his tie and sighed before plopping onto the mattress beside you.

“Long,” he responded, nothing more and nothing less. You knew that Tom was having a rough time recently from all the new interviews he had to take part in as his latest work premiered. He was always so kind when being asked questions about not just his work but his life as well. Despite his kindness, it still took a toll on him when interviewers seemed to ask all the wrong questions. From the way he was acting, he most definitely had gotten asked all the wrong questions today.

Instinctively, you reached out to run your fingers through his hair, earning a soft hum of appreciation from your older boyfriend. You knew better than to pry into what’s upsetting him immediately after he had just found a second to relax. When Tom wanted to talk, he would talk. He always did.

You maneuvered yourself closer to him, laying on your side with one arm propping your head up as the other rested on his chest while your hand remained in his hair. By this point, Tom’s eyes were closed as he enjoyed the small gesture you were displaying. As your fingers continuously ran through the locks on his head, his hand made its way onto your thigh where he, too, began administering gentle caresses. It was almost as if he was finding solace in being able to reciprocate the comfort you were providing.

The two of you sat in silence for a few more moments before he opened his eyes and tilted his chin up to look at you. “How about you?”

“Hm?” You hummed in response, not quite sure what he was referring to. “Oh, my day was alright. I just got home from work not too long ago.”

It had been only a month or so since you started your job, and it was safe to say that your employers never failed to remind you that you were a newbie. Sure, it was tough on you, but you didn’t let that stop you from getting the job done. Tom knew it wasn’t exactly easy for you at the workplace because many of your coworkers had already recognized you as a celebrity’s girlfriend, poking fun at the significant age gap between you both.

Tom was 39 years old, a bit older than anyone you had dated in the past, especially because you were still {Y/A}. Between the two of you, the age difference wasn’t that big of a deal, but not everyone saw it the way you did. At first, this was something you said you could accept. Love was about acceptance; at least, that’s what Tom would say. One year later, and these words alone didn’t seem to be quite enough to hold your worries at bay. Looking into his eyes, you could see how tired he was, and you wanted nothing more than to wipe his worries away, but you didn’t know how.

“They kept asking about you today,” he sighed, not because he was upset but because he didn’t want to worry you about it.

“What were they asking about,” you asked, not sure if you wanted to know the answer.

“Well,” Tom started, “they were asking if we were planning on getting married, how our schedules work, if you plan on being a stay-at-home mom since I travel for work.”

Your eyes wandered around the room until they settled on the buttons of his shirt. If you had kept your eyes on Tom, you would have noticed that his eyebrows had knit together at your reaction, his worry only increasing. A minute of silence passed before you realized he was probably waiting for you to react to what he was saying. If you were being honest, you didn’t know what to say. 

Was there a wrong or right answer? Were you supposed to tell him what you had planned for the future?

As your mind raced a hundred miles a minute, Tom’s hands had found your hips as he urged you to straddle his lap. With your knees on either side of him, Tom placed his right hand on the small of your back, holding you steady as his free hand pushed his body to an upright position. You were slightly elevated and his eyes were level with your neck. The position only granted him the access he needed to leave soft kisses along your collarbones and up your neck. Your fingers grasped the back of his neck when he stopped, and you took the opportunity to press a gentle kiss to the bridge of his nose.

“Y/N,” he exhaled, grip tightening around you. “Their questions had me thinking.”

You stilled, not wanting to know where this conversation was going at all. In an effort to keep him from talking, you pressed your lips to his. Of course, Tom knew what you were up to, but even for a split second he also enjoyed the distraction from an otherwise serious topic. The distraction only lasted a few seconds before you felt his hands on your cheeks as he pulled you away from him. In the blink of an eye, his expression had turned serious once again. 

“Y/N,” he tried again, this time holding your face centimeters from his own. “We’re going to have to address these things sooner rather than later.”

You sighed, leaning back from his grasp as your hands fell to your sides. “Okay,” you replied.

“I love you,” he started; his words sent shivers down your spine. “I don’t want to be the reason this relationship falls through, though.”

You tilted your head, not quite understanding what he meant, and he noticed this. He grinned sheepishly before letting out a sigh of his own. You had a feeling these sighs were only the first of many to come in this relationship.

“Your job, are they still giving you a hard time?” He questioned.

“Well, no,” you tried to say, but the look in his eyes immediately showed that he didn’t believe you. “Yes, yes they do, but it’s simple stuff. It’s not like they’re harassing me or making my life entirely too difficult. It’s just a little extra workload here and there.”

His right hand reached up to rest on your cheek, brushing the area beneath your eye. Tom smiled sadly before speaking again, “Darling, I don’t want to be the reason your job is difficult, nor do I want to be the cause of the bags under your eyes. If this continues, you’ll be working yourself to death by the time you’ve fully settled into things.”

Shaking your head adamantly, you firmly disagreed, “It’s nothing coffee and a few days of overtime can’t fix. I can handle it.”

“I’m sure you can, but,” he paused. You wish he hadn’t because your heart stopped beating the second he stopped speaking, impatiently waiting for him to carry on. “This is your dream job, yes?”

You nodded.

“Who am I to make your dream job more of a nightmare?”

“The man I’m in love with,” you answered quickly, knowing where he was going with this already. If he wanted to end this relationship because your job was getting a little too much, what was he going to do when other things started to go south? “You think you’re holding me back from loving what I do?”

It was Tom’s turn to nod. You laughed, almost bitterly, at his thoughts.

“Thomas, you think you’re holding me back?” You asked, voice rising in pitch. Standing from your spot in his lap, you let it all out. “You’re 39; you want to settle down. You want to have a family. Your family wants you to settle down and have a family. I’m not quite sure I’m ready for all that, and you want to say you’re holding me back? I can barely wrap my head around finally starting my career, let alone starting a family right now.”

Tom was standing now, worry etched into his features as he took in your distraught stance. Your hands were in your hair, gripping tightly as if you wanted to rip it out. Your eyes began to sting as tears of worry threatened to fall down your cheeks. With your chest heaving as breathing seemed to get harder by the second, you turned your back to him. You didn’t want to see him get worried over your own feelings of not being able to give him what he wants, and as much as he would like to pretend he didn’t know that you were uncertain about the future and what it might bring, he couldn’t ignore it now.

Tom’s hands reached forward to lightly grip yours, attempting to gently pry your fingers from your hair. As he wrestled your arms to your sides, he pressed his lips to your forehead, softly shushing you until you finally allowed him to comfort your mini meltdown.

“I’m sorry,” he murmured as he wrapped his arms around you. “I didn’t know you were carrying all that with you, I’m sorry.”

You shook your head, knowing that you needed to apologize for semi-yelling at him for something you shouldn’t have even gotten mad at. “No, I’m sorry. It’s just - I sometimes think maybe it’s better if you find someone else, someone who can give you that family and kids because I’m not ready. I’m not ready for marriage, and I’m most definitely not ready for motherhood.”

At the sound of your suggestion, Tom released his hold, eyes now trained on your face. When you looked up to meet his gaze, he looked almost mad. Before you could say anything else, he closed his eyes and let out another deep sigh.

“If it’s not with you, then what’s the point?” He spoke with his eyes still closed. “Yes, we have things to work out, and the future to talk about. And yes, Y/N, I want a family and I want children, but I want that with you. Don’t tell me to find another woman when I’ve already found the person I want to be with. Age, race, or whatever, none of that matters to me as long as it’s with you.”

You stared at him blankly, not knowing how to respond to his declaration. It was almost as if he was proposing to you; part of you wanted to glance around to see if he had a ring in plain view, but you knew he wouldn’t propose like this. 

“But-” you began.

“No, no ‘buts.’” Tom opened his eyes and was quick to cut you off this time. “Take all the time you need until you’re ready to take those steps. I’ll be here waiting alongside you every step of the way.”

[batz]

i hc that the only ppl that can use the black mesa sweet voice are benrey and coomer. full hc under th CUTTT

in the past, when benrey was contained and under constant surveillance, black mesa tried to replicate the sweet voice. like, a man made version of it. bc hey why not! lets just do things for Science! find a way to weaponize it and sell it to the government! typical black mesa shenanigans. but after trying to Inject this power into Many 'volunteers', and watching them Combust right after, black mesa ditched the project pretty fast. (the name 'black mesa sweet voice' is STILL patented tho! the name just kinda stuck)

anyway, Years after this (like mid 80s), during one of the experiments black mesa did with benrey (this one being 'shoot pure antimatter at him and see what happens' bc benrey just cant seem to physically DIE, at this point they're just trying to see what kills him), coomer was sort of in the wrong place at the wrong time. yes, he was a quantum physicist, but hes only been working at this sector of black mesa for a few years so he didn't exactly have clearance to be in this area. an extra pair of helping hands were needed for this experiment, and even if coomer didnt have the proper qualifications for these experiments, he was dragged in last minute on a whim.

coomer is tasked with manning the laser and aiming it at benrey, who is just calmly sitting on a chair in the middle of the room. hes not even tied up or anything hes just chillin. coomer already has a weird gut feeling. whether it be the sympathy he has for benrey, or the oddly mischievous glint in this his Eyes. he doesnt exactly feel right partaking in an experiment that is literally just 'lets see if we can kill this person but like Permanently this time', but it is what it is.

besides, it seemed like a simple enough task. but bc black mesa is just,, bad luck all around. it obviously Wasn't.

anyway, shit goes wrong, as things usually do in black mesa. the laser meant to shoot at benrey just fucking Explodes upon activation, sending coomer through the glass and directly into benrey, both of them roughly hitting the wall opposite the laser.

the room is an absolute wreck, debris is EVERYWHERE, things are on fire, its just Rough. not to mention everyone in the room is dead. somehow excluding benrey and coomer, who were (again, somehow) both knocked unconscious.

benrey recovers rather quickly, as he usually does, and calmly follows black mesa security back into containment (not without being a pain in the ass about it. just being. horribly annoying). coomer, however, is rushed off to the medical ward. he miraculously survived, sure, but hes still badly wounded from the explosion. (he actually kinda dies briefly during this, but is brought back soon after)

coomer is. essentially comatose for several weeks. coomers wife and bubby making frequent visits just to see how he's doing (bubby practically hovering around the medical ward 24/7 since he already lives at black mesa).

when coomer wakes up hes just. different. not completely, hes still coomer, but he just seems Off. delayed responses, mobility issues, General Spaciness. hes sleep deprived/lethargic bc hes constantly having nightmares. he has this heightened awareness and its Hell. he had some minor problems with hallucinations beforehand but now those problems are Constant™. but most importantly, his mood also fluctuates a Lot, seemingly going through a fairly deep depression, with sudden bouts of anger n frustration. hes just going thru it rn!!!

it isnt until one day coomers emotions get the best of him and, when bubby is just asking him a simple question, coomer snaps at him. but instead of yelling he just. shoots red sweet voice into bubbys face. bubby immediately backs Away, Shouting In Fear, like What The Fuck Stop With The Voice Balls??? and coomer is Screaming but instead of normal screams its fuckign Sweet Voice and hes having a panic attack and bubby is having a panic attack and the room is full of sweet voice and theyre both a MESS hfskhdk security ends up bursting into the room bc of the screaming and. well. upon seeing the sweet voice coomer is rushed off the to medical ward once again, bubby followong closely behind.

coomer ends up going through INTENSE examination. from dozens of blood tests and physicals and cat scans and all that jazz. the scientists cant figure out much, but what they do end up figuring out is coomers dna??? that shit is WARPED. the explosion did something, colliding with BENREY did Something. intergalactic bullshit is Afoot.

coomr ends up getting better, close to how he was before the whole failed experiment mess, but hes still a bit different. whatever it is he Sees, whatever it is that changed in his brain, is v obviously burdening him. BUT he can use the sweet voice now and its a LOT of fun! very easy to settle friendly debates by shooting sweet voice at their face in retaliation!

black mesa takes a LOT of interest in coomer because of this though. at first he was just another expendable scientist on their payroll but now hes unintentionally become a successful volunteer in their defunct sweet voice experiment from years ago. his dna literslly shifted and hes still alive??? coomer suddenly has offers for further experimentation (for extra pay) but he denies all of them. mostly bc like... cybernetics and cloning seems like a Lot for right now like hes still getting used to the whole sweet voice thing,,, no thanks,,, fhdjdhdj

but yeah no like... its essentially the not a game AU version of coomers self aware ai-ness. instead of him realizing hes in a video game and that fucking him up, he just Knows Shit that humans Dont Know. he's just hyperaware of his place in the universe. hes kinda sharing some braincells with benrey and it fucked him Up. i mean who Wouldn't it fuck up tho fhsjsh

tldr; black mesa runs experiment on benrey, experiment goes wrong, coomer is caught in this intergalactic crossfire, benrey n his molecules end up all fucked up, coomer ends up with sweet voice and the nonvideo game equivalent of self awareness (hes hyperaware of the things around him and can almost see thru benreys eyes if that makes sense lol. coomer got fucked UPPP)

[janicho88]

Fire, Fur & Mistletoe Chapter 2

Pairing- Dean x Lisa, Eventual Dean x Female Reader.

Word Count-6,102

Warning- Mentions of: loss of parents, death, car accidents, and fires, alcoholism.  Fired from a job. Putting animals up for adoption, eviction.  Possible swearing. Slight angst. Fluff,

Summary- A rewrite of the Nine Lives of Christmas, Hallmark movie. AU, Dean is a firefighter who doesn’t do commitment, the Holiday’s don’t mean much to him.  Coming home after a shift he finds a dog in trouble.  The reader is a veterinary student who works in a coffee shop trying to make it to graduation, until someone causes problems there for her.  She isn’t interested in finding anyone other than her own dog until after she finishes school.  Do their four legged friends have other plans?

A/N- This series is written for @spnchristmasbingo.  The square filled for this chapter is Decorating.  The first two chapters will stay closer to the movie than the rest will.  

This has its own tag list and it is open.  That way I am not tagging anyone who doesn’t want to be tagged in Christmas stories.   This story is unbeta’d.

Header by the amazing @winchest09

Divider from freepngimg.com

Series Masterlist

The day after you were fired you dragged yourself to class determined to keep pushing toward your goal.  No matter how upset you might have been.  Charlie tried to distract you but it didn’t work.  You spent the night trying to study for your upcoming finals. 

Thursday, you went through the want ads and looked for any openings you would be qualified for.  The hardest part was needing flexible hours for school.  Then you prepared your resume and looked up other places in town who might have online applications you could fill out.  

Friday, Charlie reminded you of the Sweet on You party you had agreed to go to.  With everything happening you had completely forgotten, but told her you would meet her there when she didn’t back down.  Walking up the driveway to the house where tonight’s party was, you could see all the happy people inside.  You could see Charlie was laughing with a brown haired girl in the living room window.  You didn’t fit in with this group tonight, you couldn’t pretend to be happy.

Taking out your cell phone you call Charlie’s phone to leave her a message.  “Hey, I’m so sorry.  I’m not going to be able to make it to the mixer.  I hope you have fun.  I’ll see you in class.”  

Turning around you head back to your car to go home and spend the night on your couch with Dakota. 

Dean took Miracle back home, Lisa complaining about the dog the whole time.  He just tuned her out. 

Wednesday he was back at the station for a 48hr shift.  Things were a little slow, which was good in the sense that people weren’t in trouble and needing them, but it could also make for a long day.  He was in the workout room with the guys when Bobby walked in with wrapping paper.  It was for the toys that had been donated.

“No adoption huh?”  He asked, seeing Miracle sitting next to Benny.

“Not yet, Lisa is still trying.  He probably deserves a better owner than me.”

“Do you know having a dog can be good for your health?”  Cas asked.

“No, but I think I do sleep better since he’s been around.”

“You know you are going to have to choose between her and the dog, right?” Cas wanted to know.

“I’ve got an idea, brother.  How about you keep Miracle and give Lisa my number.” Benny suggested.

“I think Miracle would make a better girlfriend than Lisa. I’m not sure that will work when you and Andrea, finally get back together.” Sam threw out.

“Yeah, but who knows when that will be?  I could have some fun in the meantime.”

“You’re awful.”

“Thanks, Shaggy.”  Benny throwing out his nickname for Sam.

“Are we going to keep him around here when we’re working?  Make him our firehouse Mascot?”  Cas wanted to know.

“The other stations have Dalmatians, they might make fun of us for him.”  Benny stated.

“Who cares, makes us unique.  We don’t need to be like the others anyway.”  Bobby told them before walking over to Dean.  “So Winchester, what are you going to do?  Keep the good old boy, or let a girl push him away.  I told you, I don’t trust a girl who doesn’t like dogs.”

Dean spent the first night of the shift thinking about his options and what the guys had said. The next day at the firehouse he left Miracle at the station when he had a minute to run a quick errand, there was a stop he needed to make.

Walking into Braeden’s he looked around, but didn’t see Y/N anywhere.  So he headed up to talk to the blonde running the register.  

“Hi, I was in here a few days ago.  I’m looking for the girl who was working with you, Y/N.”

“Y/N, she was such a great person.  I miss seeing her.  She no longer works here.  She got fired.”

“What, why?  What happened?”

“Your girlfriend, Lisa.  Complained about Y/N to her dad.  I don’t think Mr Bradean really  wanted to fire her, she’s the best barista we had. She  remembers people's orders and their  favorites.  She handles the difficult ones without a problem.  The only one of  us who can get the cranberry bars just right, and this time of year they are the most popular.  His daughter is a beautiful, but horrible superficial nightmare of a person.”

“I get it.”

“She is trying to put herself through school.  She really needed this job.”

“Wow, I’m so sorry to hear that.  Do you have her number or home address, maybe?”

“Why, she doesn’t have enough problems, now you want to go burn down her house too?”

“What? No.  I want to apologize.”

“Oh really?”  Claire leans against the other counter folding her arms and glaring at Dean.

 “I didn't know Lisa did that,  I would have stopped her if I did. I’m so sorry.  Please.  I feel really awful this happened to her.  Is there any information you can give me that would help me find her?”

 “Her last name is Y/L/N, that’s all I am going to tell you about her.”

“Thank you.”

He leaves to head back to the station.  There still isn’t much going on so he grabs his computer and uses some of the down time to sit in the common room and look up Y/N Y/L/N on social media accounts.  Bobby is in the kitchen area behind working on some food.  Cas, Benny and Sam are playing cards at the long dinner table.  

“Any luck yet?  Bobby asked.

“Nope, I can’t find her anywhere.  None of these profiles on facebook,or  linked in are her.  I even searched twitter.”  

“I can’t believe Lisa got her fired.”  Cas just shook his head. 

“That’s pretty cold, man.  Maybe I don’t want her to have my number.” 

“Not a problem Benny.”

“You know, you haven’t told us anything about this girl you are trying so hard to find.”

“She is wicked smart.  I would bet she’s getting straight A’s.”

“Okay more important question here,”  Benny interrupts.  “What does she look like?”  

Cas and Sam both throw chips at him for that comment. 

“Hey, I’m curious, here?”

“She’s really pretty, but she’s the kinda girl that doesn’t know it.”

“That’s the best kind.”  Bobby tells him.

“Is she nice?”  

“Unbelievably so, she is super sweet.  She loves animals, especially dogs.”

“Okay so let’s see if I got this, she’s wicked smart.  Pretty but not full of herself, sweet with a heart of gold?”

“Yeah.”  Dean looks around and everyone is looking at him.  “What am I missing here?”

“Apparently a lot,”  his brother tells him.

“She sounds like a special person.”

Dean shrugs, “Yeah, she is I guess.”

“I have an idea.”  Sam turned to Dean.  “Why don’t you ask your girlfriend to get it from her dad.  Actually that is a conversation I would pay to watch you have with Lisa.  ‘Lisa can you get me the address of the girl you had fired so I can go apologize to her, for you being the bitch you are.  See I’m in love with her, but I haven’t figured that out for myself yet.’ “

“Are you done?”  Dean asks his brother anything but amused.

“For now,”  the younger Winchester joins in laughing with the others.

“Boy, you are a special kind of idjit.  You lot, go finish that equipment inventory.”

“Sure thing Chief, just let me beat these guys real quick.”  Looking up Benny sees Bobby’s face.  “Or now is good.” 

Bobby walks over to the table from the kitchen counter he was working at, “So, Y/N.”

“She doesn’t want to date until after she graduates and starts working.  She is nothing like the kind of girl I go out with normally, anyways.  She actually believes in true love and Marriage.”

“It’s really not that bad you know.  Don’t tell Ellen I said that.”

Dean chuckles at that, knowing how much the grumpy man really does love his wife.

“Just because things didn’t work out for your parents doesn’t mean it won’t for you.  Look at Sam and Jess.”

“It’s not what I’m looking for Bobby.”

“Then why are you here spending your time searching for this very pretty and smart girl?”

“I just want to apologize.”

“Yeah, sure.  Don’t you want a family one day?  Someone you can share the Holidays and special moments with?”

“You and the guys are my family.  You know this.”

“As close as you and your brother are, you still can’t snuggle up with me the other idjits on a cold night, after a rough shift.”

“Is that a firm no?”

Bobby just shakes his head at Dean's attempt at humor, and goes back to the kitchen.

When the shift ends Friday afternoon he takes Miracle home and tries to relax before getting some work around the house done.  He goes back Saturday for a 24 hour shift.

“It looks like the two of us are going to be stuck together for a little while.  You can stay until I finish here and sell the house.  Then you are on your own.  For now on we can come and go as we please.   You aren’t responsible for me, I’m not responsible for you,  That work for you?  Just a couple of bachelor's living together.  Good talk, let’s go watch the game.”  Miracle follows Dean into the living room, curling up in his lap.

After the game Dean heads out to get some supplies he needs to work on the house.  Lisa is in the kitchen with dinner when he arrives back home.  

“What are you doing here Lisa?  Weren’t you supposed to have a shoot today?”

“It was postponed so I came over to make you dinner, it took all day.”

“You made the food here?”  

“Yeah so it would be nice and hot when you got out.”

“Uhuh. hey have you seen Miracle? 

“No, figured it was with you.”

“He was here earlier”

“I’m sure it’s around somewhere.  Go shower I’m sure you smell like smoke.  I’ll put the food on the table.”

“My shift ended hours ago, Lisa.  I already showered.  I need to look for Miracle.”

“Miracle hey, come here dog.” she pretends to look for him.  “Guess he’s not here, let’s eat.”

“He usually greets me when I come home, he must have gotten out.  I need to go find him.”

“Why? It’s just a stupid dog, who cares?  Now come eat this delicious dinner I made.”  That puts Dean over the edge with her.

He turns back around in the doorway, “You just don’t get it do you?  Did you really have that barista from your father’s coffee shop fired?”

“Yeah, she was completely awful to me.  I can’t have that.”

“She was giving you facts about Miracles, She wasn’t doing anything to you.  You can’t just have people fired when you don’t like what they say Lisa.”

“Sure I can.  She doesn’t matter, the dog is finally gone.  Everything is just how it’s supposed to be.”  She tells him with a shrug.

“You know, I don’t think this is going to work.” 

“What?”

“You and me.”

 “Wait, are you seriously breaking up with me?”

“Yeah, yeah I guess I am.”

“I’m a model and you think you are going to break up with me?”

“You might need to get your hearing checked, yes I am.”

“You can’t do that, I'm the best thing to ever happen to you.  You are going to regret this Dean Winchester.  I won’t take you back when you come begging me to.  I spent all day making this dinner for you.  I got my hair done for you, these highlights were expensive.”

“No, you actually didn’t.  That stove isn’t connected, I just bought it. I know it doesn’t work yet, and the take out bags are sticking out of the trash outside.  Nice try though.  I’m sure the hair was for you and no one else. I think you need to go, Lisa.”

She stomps out of the room in a huff, slamming the front door when she exits.

Dean went to look for Miracle but didn’t have any luck finding him.  The backdoor wasn’t shut tight, Lisa must have done that when she took the trash out. 

Saturday was spent with your list going to all the places you found that might be looking for help, and making stops with those who had ‘Now Hiring’ signs up.  Passing some Christmas carolers in the town square you stop and listens for a moment.  You do love this time of year.   A couple of places took your resume, but others weren’t very keen to work around a school schedule.

The best you could do is just keep trying until something works in your favor. 

Sunday, morning Donna was over bright and early to start your day together.   She brought donuts and coffee with her.  Chatting with you and petting Dakota as you got yourself ready to go.  The first stop she had planned for the two of you were mani/pedi’s.  It had been a long time since you felt that relaxed.  For a little while in the chair you were able to forget about your troubles.  When you were done there the two of you visited a few shops you were passing by.  

From there you grabbed a light lunch and listened to the carolers and watched the other shoppers.  

“I should head back home to study.”

“No, we had a deal.  It’s time for your hair and makeup appointment.  Then i’m taking you to get a new dress.”

“I don’t know.”

“Hey, I know you.  I bet you already know everything you need for your exam.  You are just overthinking it. Relax.  Take some time to enjoy the Holiday season.”

“Fine.”

When your hair and nails were done she took you to a little boutique to look for a dress for the Mayor’s party.  You tried on multiple options before she handed you a black long sleeve one stopped mid thigh.

“Come on out already, I want to see it.”

You pulled the curtain back and stepped out.

“Wow, look at you girl.  Green eyes is going to flip when he sees you in this.”

“Oh no, I can’t afford this one.”

“I’m going to get it for you, I got a bonus.  You deserve to be taken care of once in a while too.”

“It’s too much.”

“Y/N, when mom and dad died, you came home to take care of me.  You put your whole life on hold, just for me.  This dress is nothing compared to that.  Please let me do this.”

You walked over to look in the mirror, Donna coming up beside you.  “You look like mom.”

“I do?”

“Yeah, you do.”

Turning, you give your sister a big hug.

Leaving there you thought she was finally taking you home to study but you find her pulling into the fire station and you start to panic.  “What, what are we doing here?

“Do you really think I’m just going to take you home looking like that?  You are going to walk in there and make Green eyes faint.  Plus I want to meet him, you said he was working today.”

Dang it.  “No, no.”

“Come on, you can’t hide him forever.”

“I have to study for my final, I have to go home. Now.  Let’s go.”

“If you don’t get out and walk your but in I am going to drag you in there. Do you really want that?”  She was already unbuckling her seatbelt and going to open her door. 

“Wait! I’ll go in.  Okay I’ll go in.”

“He is going to be so surprised.”

“You have absolutely no idea how surprised.  You know what?I should really go in alone.”  Donna sits back in her seat raising her eyebrow at you.

“Why is that?”

“He’s going to see this outfit and want to grab me, and start kissing me.  One thing can lead to another.  It’ll be a little awkward with you there.  That’s not the best circumstances to meet him, when he’s making out with your older sister.  You can meet him at the Christmas party, promise.”

“Alright, fine.  I want details, I’ll wait here.”

“Oh no, that’s okay.”  Pretending to check the time.  “He’s about to get off shift, he can take me home.”

“Okay, fine.  Take care.  Have fun.”

“Thank you, and thank you for today.”

 You get out of her truck and slowly make your way up to the fire station, turning back to wave at your sister.  When she finally pulls away and you can’t see her anymore you turn and start walking back to your condo.  Great, you're in heels, this will be fun.  You don’t get too far down the road when you hear a dog bark at you.  Looking around you see a dog that looks like one you met earlier in the week.  He comes over rubbing against your bare legs and you check his collar.  Sure enough it says Miracle.  Just great.

“Hey there buddy, what are you doing out here?  Are you lost?”

Turning around and walking back to the station Miracle following along behind you.  When you step inside there are three guys working on cleaning the truck.

“Hi, sorry to bother you, I’m looking for the owner of this dog,”  You point to Miracle who is now sitting beside you.

“He’s mine!” two men call out at the same time, then turn and glare at each other.   The third with longer hair just shakes his head at them. 

“I think he belongs to someone named, Dean?”

“Yo, Jerk get out here.”  The shaggy haired man yells out.

Dean comes walking out from inside a minute later, “Bitch, what do you…”  He suddenly notices you, “Hey I’ve been looking for you two, how did you end up together?”  Bobby comes out to join Sam, Cas and Benny.  The four of them watching you and Dean.

“You’ve been looking for me?”  That really surprises you.

“Yeah, I heard about your job. I’m really sorry It’s my fault.”

“That wasn’t your fault it was all your girlfriend.”

“She’s not my girlfriend anymore.”

“That’s good.”  You seriously had no filter.  Dean looked up at you a little shocked by your comment.  “I’m mean, that’s too bad.”

“It’s alright, I knew she wasn’t the nicest, but I didn’t realize she could be that awful.  I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, at least you have Miracle back now.  Have a good night.”  With that you turned to walk out of the station.

Dean turns back around and the guys are all pointing and gesturing to you.  “Hey, Y/N, I’m getting off work soon.  Could I give you a ride home, or maybe buy you dinner?”

“Thank you for offering but you don’t have to. I'm fine walking.”

“Come on, let me buy you dinner.  With everything that’s happened it’s the least I can do.”

“You really don’t..”

Three shouts of “it’s the least he can do.”  Come from behind Dean.

“Okay, but only if I can take you to my favorite place.”

“Alright, do I need to run and change first?”  He looks down at his uniform blue pants and shirt.  If your favorite place is anything like Lisa's he is going to need dress pants a tie, the whole shebang.  

You pretend to look him over, “No I think I can get you in just fine dressed like that, I know the owner pretty well.  But what about Miracle?”

“He can hang out here, he’ll be fine with the guys around here.”

“Okay.” 

Bobby comes up to get Miracle, “We like having him here.”

Dean takes you to the common area and you wait in there until he is finished with his shift.  When you leave you give him directions to your favorite taco truck.  Dean wasn’t expecting this at all.

“This is really your favorite place?”

“Yes, taking a bite out of one of his tacos is like a surprise party in your mouth.  He’s open all night.  So when I’m studying really late I come and grab something from here.”

Grabbing your food you go and sit at one of the nearby tables.  Dean groans when he takes his first bite. “Oh you weren’t lying that is so good.”

“I know right?”  You smile at him. A sudden chill hitting you.  You tried to hide that you were cold because a big part of you really didn’t want the night to end.  Dean saw it anyway.

“Are you cold?”

“I’m alright.”  He shook his head at you.  

“I’ll be right back.  He returns with his yellow coat from his uniform draping it over your shoulders to keep you warm.

“Thank you.”  The two of you get up from the table and walk around the nearby park looking at the light displays around you.

“When I was 19 my parents died in a car accident.  I was away at college then.  I came back home to raise my little sister.  When she entered college I went back and started my undergrad back up.  Now I’m trying to finish veterinary school.”

“What made you want to become a vet?”

“My parents were huge animal lovers. My sister and I grew up around animals and that love for them passed down to us.  My mom was always taking in strays.  When I was seven, walking home from school I found a baby bird in the middle of the road.  The little guy was hurt when he fell out of his nest.  I took him home and nursed him back to health with the help of my parents.  I was there when he was finally able to take his first flight.  That’s when I realized I wanted to be a vet and help animals when I grew up.  What about you?  Why did you want to become a firefighter?”

“When I was four our house caught on fire, I was carrying my little brother Sammy out of the house.  The front door was engulfed in flames, I wasn’t sure how to get out.  This firefighter crashed through the living room window and got us to safety.”

“Wow.”  

“My mom was trapped, but they managed to get both of my parents out.  They blamed each other for the fire and started fighting a lot. Until they eventually divorced.  We lost my dad to the bottle a couple years ago.  Mom to a car accident.  The firefighters made me feel safe, and took care of me and my brother that night.  I wanted to be able to do that for others one day.”

“That’s powerful.”

He just nodded.

“What were your parents like?”

“They were so in love, they met in high school and that was it."

"So you could say he jumped in front of her and stopped her in his tracks. She followed him to the highest peak?”  He asks as he smiles at you.

It took you about thirty seconds to realize what he was saying, “You remembered the mountain lions.”

“Yeah, I did.”

The both of you sat there a few more minutes lost in your own thoughts before you reluctantly spoke up.  “I’ve really enjoyed tonight.  It’s been really nice, but I have a big final tomorrow morning.  I should try and get a little more studying in.”

“Okay, no problem.  I’ll take you home.”

Reluctantly you got up and followed Dean to his truck.  You gave him the address to you

 place, and he found it no problem.  As a fireman he most likely knows his way around town very well.  He walked you to the door when you arrived home.

“Thank you for dinner, it was nice of you.”

“No problem, Sweetheart.  Thank you for accepting my apology.”

The two of you stood there looking at one another for a minute or so before you snapped out of it.  

“Goodnight, Dean.”

“Goodnight, Y/N.  Good luck on your final tomorrow.”

“Thank you.”

The two of you so lost in thought you didn’t realize you were still wearing his coat until after he had already driven away.  

Your dreams that night revolved around a pair of green eyes, with a boyish smile and a great laugh.

You were studying as you were getting ready Monday morning, trying to get any last bit of new information in that you could.  All too quickly it was time to head out.  

Sitting down next to Charlie you apologized to her for missing Friday again.  She told you all about the girl she met there, Dorthey.  She seemed to really click with this one.  You were very happy for her.  At least one of you could get what you wanted.

The two of you walked out of the Veterinary school building an hour and a half later.  “Okay, that final was so much tougher that I thought it was going to be.”

“Charlie, I’m sure you did great.”

“At least that was our last one. Now Christmas break is finally here!”  She broke into a little dance as she was saying this.

“I’m glad you are so excited about this,”  you laughed watching her.  Turning back around someone caught your eye.

“Hi.”

“Hey, how did the test go?”

You were a little flustered, did he come all this way just to ask about your test?  “I think I did all right on it.”

“That’s great, glad to hear it.  How about I take you out for coffee and we can celebrate?”

Charlie was looking back and forth between the two of you, when she finally got a good look at Dean’s face.  “That’s Green eyes?”  She exclaimed much loudly for your liking.  Judging by Dean’s laugh and slight blush, he heard it too.

Reaching out you quickly smack her arm before turning back to Dean.  “That’s so nice of you to offer, but dinner last night was enough.”

“Wait he took you to dinner last night?”  Charlie wanted to know looking at Dean then you.

“Yes, please shut up.”  You whispered to her

“Let him take you for coffee.  She would love to go with you.”  Charlie turned to Dean shaking her head yes.

Dean was amused by Charlie's antics. You on the other hand could hurt your friend.  “Besides the coffee, I kinda need my coat back for work tonight.

“Oh, yeah.  I’m so sorry about that, I didn’t realize I still had it on till after you left.”

“It’s alright, let me take you for coffee and we can grab it after.”

“Alright.”

Charlie pushed you toward Dean, “Have fun you two!”

Dean took you to a coffee shop you had never been to before.  The two of you enjoying a nice conversation before being on your way.  When you were walking back to your place you commented on the shop.

“I really liked that place.  I’ve never been there before.  Or even heard of them before.”

“You know what they say, firemen and police always know where to get the best coffee. There was one I really liked, only had it a few times.  I’m pretty sure it was the barista there who made it so good.”  Dean winking at you as he said it.

The front of your condo coming into view. The door was wide open.  “Oh this is bad, so very bad.”  You run up the steps toward the door.

“What’s going on?”

“She found Dakota.” Dean watches you run inside slowly following behind, but staying out of sight.

Your landlady is standing at the counter when you come rushing in.  Hearing you she turns around.

“I just knew you were hiding something.  I had a plumber come in and check out your sink.  Do you know what he found?”  She asked you while holding up an Effective Immediately Eviction notice.

“Where is she?”

“I shut her in the back bedroom.”  You went right over to check on your girl.

When you come back she starts right back in on you.  “This is a clear violation of the Angel Arms by laws.  You have to be out by the end of the day.”

Good things get any worse for you right now?  Where were you supposed to go?

Just then Dean comes walking in holding up his fireman identification and badge, “I assume you gave this tenant 48 hours notice before you had a service person enter the residence?”

“I, um I’m not sure.”

“How about the fire code?  Are you all up to date on all of the apartment codes pertaining to apartment and condo buildings?”

She couldn’t even get a word out.

“What about all the bylaws with the state's statutes?”

“Well, I would think I…”

“I’ll be back next week and make sure you are in compliance with each and every state and city fire code.  If you aren’t I’m afraid I’ll have to slap you with a 777, and close this place down.”

Her eyes widened at that and she quickly left the building.  No doubt to start looking into all the codes and begin the tedious work of making sure each one was met.

You were watching Dean in awe, you couldn’t believe he would go to all this trouble for you.

“I’m sorry I won’t be able to stop the eviction, but I can make her miserable for awhile.”

“Dean, I don't know what to say.  Thank you for doing that.”

“Talk later, let’s get packing.”

“What?”

“You have to be out today, let’s go.”

“You’re going to help me?  Dean I don’t even know where I can go.  My sister doesn’t have room for us.  I couldn’t find a place to rent before this happened.”

“I have an idea.  The house I’m renovating right now, it has an upstairs apartment.  There is even an outside entrance so you could come and go as you needed.”

“Dean, I couldn’t do that and impose on you.”

“You aren’t.  I’m inviting you to stay.  You won’t even have to pay rent. So you can save for a new apartment. Plus I’m the reason you got fired.”

He really was giving you a tempting offer.  “You said yourself you had nowhere else you knew of to go.”

“Are you okay with dogs?”

“Yes, actually they are a must.  Plus you could help me out with Miracle.”

“I will pay you.”

“That’s okay, maybe you could just help me with the house some?”  

“I can do that.  Thank you so much.  I really appreciate this.”

“No problem Sweetheart. I’m going to go get us some boxes, while you start getting your stuff around.”  When Dean got outside he called Sam.

“Hey, you doing anything right now?”

“No, just hanging out till the shift starts.”

“I have a friend who needs some help packing up her apartment real fast.  Can you help?”

“Yeah, wait, her?  Who’s the her?  I thought Benny and Cas were your only friends?”

“Will you just stop talking and get over here?  I texted you the address.”

You were shocked when Dean returned with not only boxes but one of the other firemen.

“Y/N, this is my little brother Sammy.”

“It’s Sam.”

“This is Y/N, Sammy said he could help us out for a bit.”

“Thank you so much.  I really appreciate it.”

“No problem.  Dean told me what happened.”

In just a few hours the three of you had everything loaded up in the three vehicles.  The apartment came furnished so everything but the bed stayed.

Getting to Dean’s place you get out and look at the house, it’s amazing.

Heading inside Dean shows you around.  You are distracted by the wonderful details that surround it, and the great work Dean has done.  You can’t believe he rebuilt the entire staircase.  He is extremely talented. 

The two dogs are introduced and seem to get along really well.  You are kind of surprised, Dakota is usually more reserved around dogs she has never met before. 

“I think they are going to get along just fine.”  Dean tells you.

“Yeah, I guess us living together could work, I mean sleeping together.  NO, I just, you know what I mean, staying under the same roof, not in the same room.”  You aren’t sure your face could be any redder.

“Well, not sure I have a problem with the first two options either.”  

You were wrong, your face could get redder.

“I promise you won’t know I’m even here.  I’m looking for a new job, and I’ll look for a new place.  Hopefully I can find something by next week.”

“No rush, it’s fine Sweetheart.”

 The two guys help you unload the things in their vehicles before heading off to work. 

Wandering around the house you notice the living room and all the white paint stripes.  This must be the room Dean was saying he was having trouble finding the right color.  You didn’t have anything else to do so you go to work.

When Dean came home from work the next night, some amazing smell greeted him.  Y/N, must have grabbed takeout.  He’s hoping she got enough to share.  Looking around he finally found her on a ladder in the living room.  He walked in looking around.  He couldn’t believe it, the whole room was painted, and the color was perfect.

On top of the fireplace mantle he saw a few Christmas decorations out.  Some reindeer, a big snowman in the middle.  They weren't his so they must have come from your house.   It helped to make the room feel a bit homier than it had before.

Turning around you finally notice Dean.  “Oh hi,”

“Hey, I can’t believe you finished this room.  The color is perfect.”

“I’m used to being busy, but I’m currently unemployed, and school is on break for a month.  This is Pearl, it’s a layer of Egg shell over Egg crue.  It’s the only way to get this color.  It’s the least I could do for you rescuing Dakota and I.”

“Don’t worry about that.  I do appreciate you doing all this.”

“No problem, I like to keep busy.”  You get Dakota up to head to your apartment, you did tell him you would stay out of his way.  “Oh, there is chicken and mashed potatoes in the fridge if you want any.”

“It smells amazing, where did you pick it up from?”

“I cooked.”

Here we go again, Dean thought.  

“I saw the stove wasn’t hooked up, I hope you don’t mind I connected it.”

“Oh, no.  Thanks.”  That surprised Dean.  Y/N really was different than all the other girls he dated.  

As she walked out of the room he realized he didn’t want her to go,  “My shift was kinda slow, do you want to stay and eat with us?”

“We already ate, but thanks.  I’ll let you enjoy your downtime.”

“Oh okay.”

Walking back to the room you are talking with Dakota about why you left.  “He really doesn't want us to join him.  He was only being polite.”  Dakota gives a little growl.  “Don’t give me your attitude, missy.”

The next morning Dean is up looking around for Y/N, before he has to head out.  He knows she’s up; he saw the coffee put all made for him.  Not seeing her anywhere he assumes she is in her room and doesn't want to bother her.

He’s caught by surprises when he walks out the front door and sees her hanging up Christmas lights on the porch.

“Hey, what are you doing?”

“Morning, oh.  I heard Christmas lights and decorations can add curb side value to a house.  If you are going to sell when you’re finished.  Having some lights out now, might get people to notice the house.  Do you mind?”

“Not at all, great idea.  Thank you.”

“No problem.  You know, I have all that stuff from my apartment if you want to decorate the inside too.”  

“I’m not much for decorations, but you can have at it.”

He walks down to his truck and asks without thinking.  “I have to give a presentation to a group of fascinating people, would you like to come with me?”

“Sure, do I need to go change?”

“No, I think I can get you in with jeans and a sweater.”

“Alright, let me grab my phone.”

Hurrying back outside Dean locks the door behind you, “Let’s go Sweetheart.”

Thank you for reading!

Chapter 3 

Tags- @winchest09  @waywardbeanie @whatareyousearchingfordean  @flamencodiva @atc74 @deanwanddamons @jensengirl83 @abuavnee @lunarmoon8 @amyzombie1013 @akshi8278 @that-one-gay-girl @mandalou29​  @igotmadskills​

[octupus-on-the-moon]

A roommate

~Hi :l I know, I know, I'll update regularly my ass. The good news are, that i wrote a lot. My Star Wars obsession is back and i started to write a fic about it and I'm writing a Short Story about Sam. Sooo i got distracted. But I sat down yesterday and got some writing done here aaaand I made a Masterlist, linked over here. I shut up now, have fun ;)~

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Seventh part of a nightmare

Word count: 1542

Pairing: Bucky × Reader

Warning: Mental health issues

It was a long rough night. For both. The silences and darkness prevented Barnes from sleeping, he doze off a few times just to wake up, sweating and panting. Thinking about all the horrible things his Alter Ego did, what he did. Even though Bucky really wanted to stand up stretch a little and turn on the lights, but he did not, because he feared he might wake up y/n and needed to explain himself. So, he kept sitting on the cold floor, waiting for the sunrise.

On the other side of the door y/n, wasn´t having a better time either. The whole thing with her father was slowly driving her crazy. She replayed every single memory she ever had of him. And suddenly there were little but clear hints about his other life. Strange man in black suits, that came to visit them. Her dad every once in a while, disappearing for a few hours just to come back with a present, telling y/n that he had work to do outside. And the panic he managed to hide in front of everyone but her, when S.H.I.E.L.D. fell and the media went wild. It started to make sense. Everything started to make sense. And it scared y/n, because a little part of her did not want it to be real. To calm herself down y/n was walking around the room, playing with her hair, picking on her skin. She was tempted to open the door, but on a second thought, y/n did not want to intrude in James’s space. She was already a burden enough.

Holding that thought y/n, decided to try and sleep. Under the blankets she stared at the ceiling. Y/n could hear almost anything that happened in the apartment. The quiet humming of the fridge. The steady leak in the bathroom sink. The fluttering of the curtain and obviously the sounds of the Big City, that came through the open window. The only thing she could not hear at all was James.

Finally, her curiosity won.

On tip toes y/n stood up and went to the door. Every little noise in this apartment could be heard from the bed. Everything but him. Was he meditating? Did he leave? Did he die from a strange disease from one moment to another? She was about to laugh about her own silly ideas. Preventing it by putting a hand over her mouth, while the other one slowly lowered the door handle. It opened easy without making any sound. Y/n took two light steps ahead and looked over the edge into the living room.

As she saw James leaning upright against the wall, she hid herself behind the wall. Nothing happened. Once again, she leaned over the edge. He did not move. He was sleeping. Y/n took a deeper look on to the scene before her. Mr. Nakajima’s Mattress was carefully placed on the wall, besides the TV. James was sitting on the opposite side of it, between the armchair and the only chair he had. The head straight up as if he were looking at the ceiling. Under the long-sleeved t-shirt, he was wearing, you could see the singular shapes of the metal arm. His legs stretched out in front of him wrapped in a dark blanket. The curtain was closed, but the window was open, so that the thin fabric flooded up every few moments and the street lights submerged the room in a strange light.

Y/n did not know how long she admired the scene. Every little detail consumed her in that quiet night. Then the magic broke.

James set himself up, struggling for air, gripping the blanket with one hand, putting the other one on his chest. Taking one heavy breath after the other. To just break down against the wall again. Y/n froze. She was not meant to see that, but she could not move without drawing his attention to her. Y/n kept observing the scene, that had lost all its charm. The room was cold, because of the wind that came through the open window. The furniture lost its shape, turning into threating shadows. In between, James suddenly seemed so small and lost. He forced his breath to slow down. It took him a few tries, and when he hesitantly drew his knees to his chest, something inside her broke. Her face grew cold. Eyes narrow, Lips pressed together. Her fist closed tight.

Even though she long thought of him as a monster, now she decided to make everyone pay, who was responsible for this. If this sudden feeling came, because it reminded her of someone long lost or because the person in front of her was scared child, instead of the strong Avenger she thought he became, did not matter.

James started to become more conscious of his surroundings as he calmed down. Y/n took the moment of confusion and escaped silently to her room.

The first rays of light from the morning sun, vanished the cold shadows of the moon. After sleeping a few hours, y/n got up of her bed full of zest for action. It was not enough sleep, but nothing that a good coffee could not solve. While she hurried to the bathroom, y/n noticed that James was still sleeping, rolled up in the same place she left him last night. With a smile she brushed her hair and teeth. Y/n planned a little surprise for him, that would work even better if he slept a little longer.

After y/n dressed up, made a good coffee, drank a cup and left a little note for James. She went out to buy some things for her host. The usual stuff. Food, easy to cook for one person; Some good wine; Toilet paper; soap, etc. As she passed a little Flower shop y/n had an idea and went inside.

 With all hands full of bags, she carefully balanced her way to the door of the apartment. Then it struck her. She did not have any keys. Rolling her eyes sighting, y/n slowly let all bags down to the floor. Taking a quick look on her wristwatch, that told y/n it was almost noon, she decided to knock.

Like the last time y/n heard some mumbling and quick steps behind the door. With the same sleepy face of the first time Bucky greeted y/n. When he registered all the bags on the floor, his face lit up in astonishment. It was a really long time ago someone went grocery shopping for him.

Y/n and Bucky brought everything to the kitchen, both equally excited about all the bags.

“Why and what did you buy?” Barnes asked with a soft smile and a cup of coffee in his hand.

“Oh, just some food aaaaand” Y/n was searching through the bags “Some little plants” she finished showing him a little pot with a tiny round cactus. “Because you need food and taking care of plants is fun, apart from the obvious fact that they look great”

“Wow” was the only response from Bucky. The little plants reminded him of Wakanda, they were not exactly goats, but y/n bought a lot of them so he would have enough to do every day.  

The Sunday rushed by between cocking their late-late-breakfast, eating and talking, repotting the plants, looking for the best place for all the little flowers, cactuses and little bushes and last but not least cooking their on-time-dinner. As the sun sets, both were sitting on the living room floor enjoying a bottle of wine, surrounded by little colorful pots.

“I didn´t think you could cook, it was delicious” Bucky commented looking down on the empty plates.

“Thank you. Yeah rich-girl-complex doesn´t work with me. I like doing stuff myself and I lived alone a few years.”

“Well, you really didn´t seem that kind of girl, but you also don´t seem that kind of girl that likes doing domestic tasks” He took a sip of his wine, without letting her out of sight.

“Good point, but I think that isn´t a gender-relevant-thing everyone should be able to take care of themselves”

“Agreed. I´ll cook the next time”  

“Agreed too, this place looks great by the way” Y/n praised as she took another look around the room.

“Yes, you were right plants do look fantastic” Bucky approved with a soft smile.

“Oh I bought something else” Y/n jumped up and went to the bedroom. He took another sip of his wine frowning. Then she came back with two Books “These two are my favorite” y/n explained holding them up “Good Omens by Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett and The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe from the Narnia Chronicles by C.S. Lewis”

“How did you? Never mind. Thank you” Barnes reached out for the books beaming as if it were Christmas. Y/n gave them to him, sitting down, studying his expressions. She was nervous at first, because she did not know if he would like them, but the smile told her everything. She relaxed, reaching for her glass.  

“Can we read them together?”  Bucky suddenly asked, after reading the backs and observing the covers awhile “No pressure, if you already…” His shy stutter got interrupted

“Of course”

All rights reserved.

~I loved writing this one, it was really fun and I love its vibe. If I'm intruding too much into the reader character, I'm sorry, I'm really trying not to~

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[downwiththeficness]

A Need So Great-Chapter 13

Summary: Eva Moore is assigned to work the last year of her contract with the DEA in Colombia. She just wants to get to the end of her tenure, but she keeps getting drawn further into a string of murders in the city. It isn’t long before she’s forced to face the ghosts of her past.

Word Count: ~4,400

Warnings: Crime Scene (murder, graphic),

A/N: For the purposes of this story, Carrillo isn’t married--or, if you like, divorced. A/B/O dynamics are prevalent, and they come with their own warning. The overall rating for this story is Explicit, although not every chapter will contain adult themes.

Taglist: @dirtynerdy98 @1zashreena1 @heresathreebee @deliciouslyclassytrash @maybege @kid-from-new-zealand @clydesducktape @revolution-starter @autumnleaves1991-blog @jedi-mando @buckysalefty @anaeve 

Chapters: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 8.5, 9, 10, 10.5, 11, 12, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21

The club was the largest in the city.  Lights were flashing, catching on the smoke rising from the crowd.  Eva threw back the shot and winced, the alcohol burning her throat. Music pounded in her ears, the vibration of the bass hitting her square in the chest.  Connie leaned over and yelled something, but Eva couldn’t hear it.  She looked angry, maybe a little concerned. A second later, she saw the officer.  He was speaking to their assigned body guard for the night, gesturing towards them.

He looked deeply uncomfortable in his uniform, and he was drawing not a few unkind stares.  Connie dragged her out and it wasn’t until they hit the street that Eva could hear her cursing loudly.

“We were supposed to have the night off—She was supposed to have the night off.”

The officer looked remorseful, replying in Spanish. She caught the apology. She also caught Javier’s name. Her interest piqued.

“What’s going on?”

Connie flicked her hair back from her face, hands on her hips, “They want you to come to a crime scene.”

Eva was a little more than shocked, her mouth dropping open, “What? Why?”

She shrugged, “He won’t say.”

Eva rolled her eyes, thinking that this was probably yet another time where Javi needed her eyes. She just wished it hadn’t come at a time when she was just this side of tipsy and on a girl’s night with Connie. Their outings were generally kept to a minimum, the attacks on agents, police, and their family members escalating.

Following the officers, Connie at her side, Eva headed for the jeep parked not far from the club’s entrance, her heels clicking on the pavement.  She really wished she hadn’t taken that last shot. The alcohol ran rampant through her system, and she could feel herself smile at the absurdity, even through the frustration of being called to work when she was supposed to be having fun.

The ride over was tense and almost completely silent, the streetlights passing in a blur as Eva did her best to sober up a little.  She smoothed the wrinkles of her dress, a bright red, flowy thing that swung around her knees as she walked.  She’d picked out a pair of gold high heeled sandals that were impossible to dance in for the specific purpose of being able to complain about her feet so that Connie couldn’t drag her to the dance floor every three minutes.  

When they arrived, it was to what looked like a closed scene.  Connie was asked to stay by the car and Eva was escorted towards the front door of a small office building.  It was nondescript, glass doorway, stone facing.  As she stepped towards the walkway an angry voice called out loudly behind her.

He was livid.  She could see it in the forward cant of his shoulder, in his clenching jaw, in the narrowing of his eyes.  He moved quickly, booted feet sounded across the pavement.  Eva glanced at the office at her elbow and felt not a small bit of pity. Carrillo had obviously not been informed of the invitation she’d been extended. Eva was apparently in breach of several protocols.

What surprised her was that he didn’t yell.  Carrillo spoke in a low, threatening tone that even Eva could understand.  When his head tilted to the side, she knew he’d asked a question and expected and answer pretty fucking fast. The officer stuttered and Eva almost stepped in, physically took a step forward, stopping when he shot her a look of fierce censure.

The door opened behind her and Eva swung around to see Javi walking through it, both hands up, mouth already moving.  He spoke to each of them, hands flexing as he (very likely) explained the situation.  The officer muttered something, and Carrillo hissed a reply that made the officer literally flinch, then scurry away.

“Listen, man, I was going to talk with you,” Javi started, “I just got distracted by…”

He waved towards the doors of the building. Eva followed the movement, curious about what she was about to be walked into.

Carrillo put his hands on his hips, glaring, “She shouldn’t be here.”

Javier rolled his eyes, “She’s got good eyes and we fuckin’ need ‘em.”

Not comfortable with being talked about as if she weren’t hearing it, Eva scoffed, “She is standing in high heels and would like to either get to it, or go home.”

Carrillo’s eyes dropped down, taking in her shoe choice.  Then, his eyes followed the line of her legs to the hem of her skirt, higher to the cinched in waist, sweetheart neckline, and the dainty gold chain around her throat. She preened a little, gratified by the interest sparking in his gaze.

Javi pulled his pack out of his breast pocket, tapping out a cigarette, “This is a bad one, Eva. Really gory shit going on in there.”

Eva thought he was probably forgetting that she’d bludgeoned someone to death and had dealt with that trauma rather effectively. There wasn’t much that could make her truly sick, anymore.

She shrugged, “If its too much, I’ll say so.”

Javi looked from Eva to Carrillo, who sighed, “Fine.”

He walked around Eva and opened the door, gesturing for them to enter. The lobby was elegantly decorated, a plush red carpet, smooth wooden furniture.  Eva followed Carrillo’s steps through a hallway to an office door. He stopped in front of it, looking at Eva seriously.

“You don’t have anything to prove in this room.  If you want to leave, you leave.”

Eva’s heart gave a little hiccup, her mind too curious to see what was in that room to refuse the opportunity to assuage it. She nodded, patting Carrillo’s chest and turning to look at the contents of the room.

Javi was right. This was some seriously gory shit. Eva paused, taking in the scene. Her hands gripped her clutch a little too tightly, the closure digging into the meat of her palm.

Carrillo made a sound of contempt, “Okay, let’s go.”

Eva shook her head, “No, I’m fine. What’s one more for the nightmare file, right?”

She entered the room, the smell of blood immediately assaulting her nose. Careful to follow the mapped out path the officers had created to keep the integrity of the scene, Eva made her way to the body. The room was an office—large, two storied.  A staircase led upwards towards a bookcase that lines three of the four walls on the upper mezzanine. At the back of the room was a large and ornate desk.  Sitting at the desk was a man.

His button up was open to the middle of his chest, his hands braced on the armrests of his chair. His head was tilted back and his throat was slit open, the muscles separated and the tongue pulled through to rest over the gaping wound.  

Eva was glad she’d drank a little that day.  If she hadn’t, she might have turned tail and run. As it was, she merely handed Javi her clutch and picked out two rubber gloves from the box sitting on the floor.  Taking slow, even steps, she circled the desk and leaned over the body.  His eyes were closed, but his mouth had frozen in a pained grimace.

She looked at the wound, “Whoever did this probably has medical experience, maybe a vet.”

Javi pulled his notebook from his back pocket and started scribbling.  Eva glanced around, looking at the desk and the floor.

“They didn’t do it here—or, they laid down plastic.  There’s no blood splatter.”

More scratching of pencil on paper.

The fingers of the right hand were strange, posed so that the first and middle digits were straight out, as if...Eva followed the direction. On the upper floor, there was a space between the bookcases.  In a gilt frame was a painting, or possibly a print of a painting.  Eva was pretty sure the “Birth of Venus” was hanging in a museum somewhere.

Curious, she stepped to the staircase, easing up it carefully in her heels.  

“What is it?” Carrillo called out, his arms crossed over his chest.

“That painting,” Eva answered, already moving towards it. “Its a Botticelli.”

From behind her, Eva could hear Javier give a rough chuckle.  Her attention was on the way the frame was just a little off center, hanging oddly to the left. Leaning in, she noticed a tiny red arrow, pointing towards the frame.  She eyed it, looking for further clues, widening her scope with every pass. Other than the print looking tacky when put into such an expensive frame, Eva couldn’t see anything else out of the ordinary.  She looked at the arrow again. Maybe…

With careful hands, Eva pulled the frame from the wall, setting it aside.  When she looked back at the place where it had been, she wished so fucking hard that she hadn’t touched it.  Drawn in hard, red paint was a large oblong circle, a slash striking through it from the top right to the bottom left.  Stumbling back to the railing, Eva stared at it, feeling tears forming in her eyes.

Swallowing, she tried to take a breath—tried and failed. As if from far away, she could hear her name being called.  Black spots appeared in her vision. She couldn’t get air. Her hands gripped the rail as she fought to stay upright.

This could not be happening. This simply couldn’t happen.  Eva still couldn’t breathe, a croak bleeding out from her throat. Wavering, her vision narrowed to pinpoints, the patterned carpet design swirling. She fell. She fainted.

Waking was a difficult thing. Her eyes felt scratchy, her head hurt. She was staring at the ceiling, a face appearing from her peripheral.

“Eva, talk to me. Are you alright?”

He looked...like he was freaking out. That was to be expected.  She’d just passed out at a crime scene.

“I’m…,” she had been about to say ‘okay’, but that wasn’t true. She was not okay.  She might never be okay.  

Sitting up, Eva scooted back to lean against the rail. Carrillo was on one side of her, Javier on the other, both of them kneeling. She sighed, looking up at the spray painted warning on the wall.

“I have good news and I have bad news,” she said, pushing her hair over her shoulders. “The good news is that I know who your killer is.”

Javier’s brows drew together, “How the fuck do you know that?”

Eva ignored the question, choosing to offer the good news first, “His name is Alexei Volkov, sometimes called “The Russian”, but more notably known as,” she pointed to the wall, “Zero.”

“What kind of name is that?”

Eva worked to stand, saying, “Stands for how many people he’s left alive.”

Next to her, Carrillo hovered, looking unsure as to whether or not he should touch her. His hands curled into fists and released.

“What’s the bad news?”

She swallowed, willing herself to say the words, “The bad news is that you are looking at a dead woman.”

Below, Steve hollered a tentative, “Hello?”

“Up here,” Javier called down, arching over the railing.

Tired, Eva pushed through them and headed down the staircase, walking through the room and sitting on one of the low stools near the door.

“What happened to you?” Steve asked, his voice an amiable drawl.

“Oh, you know,” Eva joked, “Just coming face to face with my own mortality.”

“What does that mean?” Horacio asked, standing nearby, his spine straight and alert.

Eva her head in her hands because she couldn’t look at any of them when she told this story, “Zero was one of Josh’s hitmen. He was brutal, efficient, and stupidly patient.  He could wait out a mark for months, as long as there wasn’t a deadline.” She pulled her toes towards her shins, relieving some of the pressure on her feet from the heels, “He was also Josh’s best friend. They spent every waking minute together, when Zero wasn’t out on a job. He was fucking everywhere.”

There were many nights Zero sat patiently in the den while Josh did whatever he was going to do to her, sometimes he watched. Most of the time, he got up and left. Passive acceptance that, if Josh couldn’t hurt her, he’d end up making some idiotic decision that would affect the influence of their trade, something Zero would have to clean up. Zero wasn’t a fan of cleaning up Josh’s messes.

She closed her eyes, trying to keep the tears from falling, “And, he was such a fucking drama queen—liked to taunt his victims, let them know he was coming for them beforehand. That’s what this,” she pointed to the wall above them, “Is about. He’s letting me know that the family has finally called in the hit on me.”

There was a beat of silence, Eva still unable to look at them.

And then Javier said, “Fuck.”

She pointed blindly at him, “Very succinct. And accurate. He’s been following me since I got here, at least. Possibly before I even left the states.”

Lifting her head, she chanced a glance at Horacio. She could see the wheels turning in his head.  He was working through this, and she knew he was already forming a plan. Her heart hurt for the fact that she would definitely have to thwart it. Zero didn’t let people get in the way of his target. She didn’t know what she would do if he became collateral damange.

“There’s one thing I don’t understand,” she said slowly.

“One thing?” Steve asked, his voice high.

She stood, eyes glancing around the room, “He couldn’t be sure that I would find the mark, he wouldn’t know that you’d call me down here.  What he would do is make sure the message got delivered, one way or another.”

The move with the painting was artistic and flamboyant, but kind of a gamble.  Eva looked at the body. This kind of dissection wasn’t his bag.  He usually used guns, or poison if he needed to, knives if he needed to be quiet. This was too much work.  Squinting, Eva approached him, her hand reaching out for the wound.  Biting back the bile, she lifted the tongue. Yeah. There it was. With her other hand, she pushed her fingers into the throat, grasping the little container and pulling it free.

With half a turn, she held it up, “Steve, can you get these developed quickly?”

He was already opening up a plastic evidence bag, “I know a guy.”

And then she was left staring at Carrillo and Javier.  Eva pulled off the glove of one hand, balling it up in the other, and pulling the glove of the other hand over top, throwing them into a designated waste bin. She moved out of the room without another word, her mind already working through the options.

She could get home, get packed, and be out of the country in less than six hours.  Mentally, she was already going through her belongings to identify what was essential.

A hand caught her arm, stopping her. Eva turned on her heels, looking up at Horacio’s concerned face.

“Where are you going?”

She shrugged, “I have to pack.”

He frowned, “You’re going to run?”

Eva nodded.

“Won’t that break your contract?”

Shit, she’d forgotten about that. She debated the pros and cons—she’d have to keep running, both from Zero and from the US government.  In for a penny…

“No,” he said with finality, “You’re not leaving.”

Eva lifted a brow, “I’m not?”

He shook his head, taking her arm and leading her out of the building, “We’ll go to your apartment and pick up a few items.  I’ll make some calls while you pack.”

She blinked up at him while she walked, following him out to the truck. He hoisted her inside, closing the door and moving around to the driver’s side. Quick, calm, effective. It wasn’t until that engine turned over that she spoke.

“I assume you have a plan in mind,” Eva drawled, feeling just a little bit ireful. The logical part of her kept yelling that she had to put distance between them, that she had to beg as far away as possible. And yet, here she was, going along with him.

He gave one sharp nod, “There’s a safe house deep in the forest.  I’ll take you there.”

She scoffed, “Oh, sure, isolated safe house in the middle of nowhere. He’d snipe me from the trees.”

Carrillo shot her a glare that could have curdled dairy, “Its surrounded by a rock face on three sides.  Just one entrance in and out. From what you said in there, this is personal. He’s going to want to get his hands dirty—no distance kills.”

He was goddamn right. Eva felt herself scowl.

“That still leaves the trees. He’s not stupid, and he could wait us out. You can’t stay there for months on end—you have a job to do.”

“I have an omega to protect,” he countered, hands tightening on the wheel.

God, that felt good to hear.  Eva had to full body tackle the impulse to touch him, to relay how grateful she felt.

“You don’t have to,” she whispered, torn. “I can just...go. Slip out of the county—I probably have some contacts I could get ahold of, to cover my tracks.”

He made a sound that Eva couldn’t quite place, a strangled groan of deep distaste.  His hands turned the wheel, his feet applying the brakes, until they slowed to a stop on the side of the road.  

Turning to look at her, he asked, “Is that what you want to do? Leave?”

She croaked, “I want to live.”

This was a new feeling for her. Eva had spent more than half of her life either wanting it to end or existing solely for the benefit for another. And, now, when she was so close to being able to make her own choices in all things, she was faced with the realization of her own imminent demise.

Horacio cup her cheek, his thumb pressing to the little divot below her lower lip, “I’m gonna make sure that happens. Trust me.”

She wanted to. Eva wanted to trust in him more than she’d wanted anything in her entire life.  

“He’ll kill you,” she muttered, “Just to get to me.”

This was the truth. Zero had no qualms with taking out obstacles to his targets. He’d once systematically offed an entire bloodline over the course of a year in order to eliminate a fierce competitor of Josh’s.

Horacio smiled, “You think he’s the first hitman I’ve ever had to deal with?”

Involuntarily, she smiled, “With all due respect, this isn’t your typical hitman. He’s Russian, and therefore bat-shit crazy.”

Mouth quirking, he replied, “Then, he’ll fit right in with the others.”

“Horacio,” she pleaded, “I’m serious. He is dangerous.”

Taking both of her hands, he laid a kiss on both, his thumbs rubbing over them, “So am I.”

And that was that. He took her to her apartment and led her to the door, a gun in his hand and his eyes scanning for danger. Standing at the door, she watched him sweep the apartment before he let her more than two feet inside. Leaning against the wall, she smiled at him, warmed by the way he took no risks.

After he’d cleared each room, Eva dropped her clutch by the door and headed for the bedroom, tapping her answering machine as she went by.

You have one new message: “Hello, Eva.”

She froze, eyes closing as a voice from her distant past sounded in her ears.

“I hope you’ve enjoyed your reprieve,” he said, his accent thick over the modulated line, “I hope you’re ready to face the consequences of your actions. I’ll see you soon, Birdie.”

Birdie. Josh had called her that for most of their marriage, the moniker so prevalent that most of his men called her that, too. She hated it. Just hearing the name made her feel like she was fourteen again, crying and shaking because she was so God damned scared of the man she’d married.

Her name sounded—her actual name. Eva opened her eyes, staring blankly at the hallway ahead. He said her name again, and she blinked, breathing deeply.

“I’m gonna pack,” she said, stepping forward, her shoulders set. “I’ll be quick.”

And, she was. Eva put her entire life into three bags—her clothes, a few pieces of jewelry she cherished, her toiletries. It all fit into such a small amount of space that it reminded her how much she hadn’t set roots down—always moving, always leaving things behind. Quickly, she changed out of her dress and heels, setting them inside the closet.  She wouldn’t be needing them, not in the near future.

Movement sounded at the door, Horacio was tentatively stepping inside the room, “Are you ready?”

She nodded, pulling the bags up from the bed and hoisting one over her shoulder, “I’m ready.”

He spared her only a momentary glance before he was walking her out of the apartment building to his truck. From there, they drove maybe an hour, winding through the city, taking turn after turn, until they had to stop for gas.

While they waited for the attendant, Eva kept her gaze out through the window, “What about you?”

He hummed in question.

“Do you have to get your things?”

Horacio shook his head, “Trujillo is stopping by my place. He’ll meet us at the gate.”

And then they were back on the road, driving for almost two more hours in a winding path. Eva had recognized about thirty minutes in that he was checking for a tail. She thought he was doing a pretty good job of either annoying the shit out of them or losing them entirely. When they made it out of the city, the road got narrower, and it would have been very clear if someone was following them.  As it was, everything around them was dark.

The forest got thicker, crowding around them and blocking out the moonlight overhead.  Eva chewed on her thumbnail, not liking that their field of vision was so diminished. After a while, they came to an iron gate.  He pulled off the road and hopped out, gesturing for her to follow. From the bed of the truck, he pulled out her bags, setting them on the side of the road.

“Well,” he said, hands on his hips, “You’re going to get your wish.”

Eva shot him a confused look.

“We’re going to have to hike.”

Headlights appears from over the hill, coming from where they had driven in. Horacio pushed her back behind the treeline, pulling his pistol and waiting until a figure stepped out of the car.

“Carrillo!”

Next to her, Horacio relaxed, holstering his weapon, “Aquí.”

They talked for a moment, Trujillo handing off a large duffel to the other man. Eva kept her eyes on the world around her, listening for anything that might signal danger.

“We need to move,” Horacio urged, swinging his bag over his shoulder and picking up one of hers.

Looking between the two vehicles, Eva flicked out her fingers, “Won’t the truck be a dead giveaway.”

He nodded, “Trujillo will take care of it. Means we’ll be pretty much stuck up there. I’ve got supplies coming in by air tomorrow.”

She stared at him, her mouth wide fucking open in shock. When did he have the time to...how did he manage?

Pulling the bag further up onto his shoulder, he nodded to the trail, “C’mon.”

Eva mirrored him, hoisting one bag over a shoulder and carrying the other. The path wasn’t well trod, overgrown. Eva stumbled a few times, but kept pace with him as he soldiered through the brush, sweat running over her brow. They’d gone maybe a mile before the path widened drastically.  In the moonlight stood a small cabin, two stories, inviting porch. Behind it, and all around Eva could see the drop off, could hear the roll of waves.  He’d taken her clear to the ocean.

After keying in, they set their bags down in the living room, the furniture covered in sheets of varying colors.  Eva watched as he turned on a light and kicked on the air. Then, the turned her attention to the cabin, itself.

Calling it a cabin was, perhaps, not accurate.  It was a house, decorated elegantly—hardwood floors, smooth copper fixtures, splashes of bright colors here and there.

“This is...not what I imagined a safe house would be.”

He smiled, approached and taking one of her hands to lead her deeper inside, “Its a family home, on my mother’s side.”

Eva stopped, “This belongs to your family.”

Looking back, he nodded, tugging her along.

“Horacio,” Eva bit out, suddenly angry, “This would be public record. He’ll find it, and he will come here.”

His smile, when it came, was not genial, “I’m counting on it.”

“The fuck does that mean?” She pulled away, leaving them standing there, looking at each other, in dim light. Crossing her arms, she waited for an answer.

“Follow me,” he prompted, already moving down the hall again.

Against her better judgment, she did.  He led her down to what she was pretty sure was the master bedroom. It was large, windows lining one wall, a massive bed pushed against them.  Carrillo walked to a small nook in the corner and pressed one hand against it. A fucking secret door.

Eva closed her eyes, trying to quell some of her anger, before she stepped forward and through it. A small cot, a desk, and a large bureau were all that were inside. He opened the bureau and showed her a considerable stock of guns and ammunition.

“The walls are padded with three inch steel. There is an auxiliary power source and several days of rations.”

Eva’s gaze narrowed, “Its a panic room.”

She was suddenly reminded that he’d been living under the threat of assassination for a long time, and had probably had this contingency plan set up for himself, should the time come.

He nodded, “When he comes, you’ll be in here, and I’ll deal with him.”

The words caught so hard in her throat that her voice cracked, “And if he kills you.”

Stepping into her space, her pinched her chin between his thumb and forefinger, “Then, you deal with him.”

[ampleappleamble]

—

It was a day's hike to the cliffs, and a day's hike back. Pallegina went anyway, of course.

It was a good opportunity to assess the members of this ragtag band she was joining up with, as combatants and as people. Overall, she was fairly impressed with their martial skills– their tactics and group cohesion were sound, but she was sure to make note of their evident lack of formal training and quality equipment. She'd found herself pleasantly surprised at their generosity and inclusiveness, sharing food and drink and smoke and stories as freely with their feathered newcomer as they did with one another. No one had even brought up her "divine heritage" until they'd been sitting around the campfire that first night, and the aumaua who'd broached the subject had actually managed to look appropriately bashful as he'd done so. Although in retrospect, an Avian Godlike woman in a brotherhood of paladins probably wasn't too outlandish a concept for these kith, considering that their squad leader was apparently an Awakened Watcher.

Pallegina had been fielding annoying, invasive questions posed by strangers about her body and her soul for her entire life, but Axa was a newly-minted freak, it seemed, and so was not quite sick of talking about it just yet. And her friends weren't either: with minimal prompting, Aloth had recounted her nightmares and her past life memories, Edér had remembered her staring at the tree in Gilded Vale for nearly half an hour, Kana had practically rhapsodized about her conversations with ghosts in caves and in dungeons. And the next morning, as the group stood on the bluff overlooking the sea, Sagani had handed Axa a misshapen little lump of adra, and Pallegina had watched as the orlan peered through it and into the In-Between.

She'd been told the woman was a Watcher, and she'd more or less accepted it as truth, but the paladin hadn't exactly been expecting a demonstration just yet. After a few minutes of watching the little woman sway to and fro in the wind, apparently mesmerized by the adra carving the dwarf had given her, concern for her wellbeing had compelled Pallegina to approach and take her by the shoulders, attempting to shake her out of it before she wobbled her way over the cliff's edge.

"Everything... all right in there?" she'd muttered, lightly slapping the little woman's cheek.

"Adra arch," Axa had rasped in reply, violet eyes wild and unfixed. Sagani had gently pried the carving from her fuzzy hands then, smiled compassionately at the other two women before asking Edér where in the Dyrwood an adra arch might stand.

That was... very strange. But stranger things have happened, Pallegina had reminded herself. She'd kept reminding herself of that as they'd made their way back to the city, as she listened to the others' stories of reincarnated souls and mysterious cults, dead brothers and ancient tablets and a haunted castle this eccentric little woman called home.

Ambassador Agosti had been less than pleased to receive his agent nearly three days after Verzano had been cut loose, and accompanied by a pack of disheveled strangers no less. But Axa was nothing if not a fierce defender of her troops, it seemed, and although she'd made a valiant effort to keep her comments civil, eventually Agosti had frayed the little woman's last nerve with his dismissive arrogance and insinuated threats, finally ending up on the receiving end of a tongue-lashing himself for once. Pallegina had known then that she'd chosen her new companions wisely, biting the inside of her cheek to keep from grinning at Agosti as he stammered and sweated under the orlan's indignant outburst.

Her amusement at Axa's antics had been soundly quashed, however, by the new assignment laid upon her shoulders, one that she had dreaded might be in the works but had hoped would never actually be implemented– the negotiation of a new trade agreement between the Vailian Republics and Eir Glanfath, one that took blatant, vicious advantage of the Dyrwood's badly weakened state due to the Hollowborn crisis. It made sense in the short term, financially and practically, for the merchants of the Republics to step in and take the reins where the Dyrwoodans would not. But what gave Pallegina pause were the long term political implications of essentially kicking the Dyrwood while it was down, especially now at such a crucial juncture in the deciding of the country's legislation regarding animancy. If the Ducs Bels willfully chose to make an enemy of the Dyrwood now, it could have long-reaching consequences that could do untold damage to the Republics in the years to come, particularly for the animancy community. Animancers were already under attack in this country, superstitious types blaming them for causing this soul plague by somehow invoking the wrath of the gods, as well as for their ill-fated attempts at curing the nation's blighted children. Would the people of the Dyrwood, fiery and reactionist as they were, still tolerate animancy at all should the Republics, animancy's shining champion, stab them in the back while they were at their weakest and least reasonable? What would become of Vailian animancy without competition to keep them sharp, or collaborative efforts to keep them abreast of the latest developments? Even if animancy was permitted to continue in the Dyrwood, its practitioners would be loathe to share their discoveries with their Vailian counterparts, leading to an inevitable stagnation in the soul sciences– or even worse, the Republics could potentially fall behind the Dyrwood, languishing in the past while the Dyrwood moved ahead, forging the future without them...

No. This was not permissible, not after all the Republics and its animancers had done for her. But still, she had her orders. Now all she had to do was carry them out, one way or another.

"Twin Elms is a good long way from here," Sagani reassured her afterwards at their table at the Charred Barrel, swirling her ale around in her tankard and feeding her fox under her chair. "And Axa'll find more than enough distractions along the way, I'm sure. Plenty of time to come up with some sort of... creative interpretation of your orders."

Pallegina tried to smile, but only produced a weak grimace. "Then I hope our Watcher friend is more 'creative' than I am. I have many strengths, but subterfuge has never been one of them. And one can only openly defy the powers that be so many times before their patience runs out." She stared pensively into her wine as she spoke, couldn't help but think of Verzano's fate, Agosti's warnings.

"I'll drink to that," Edér mumbled around his mouthful of roast pork and potato, raising his cup in a commiserative gesture before knocking it back. "Axa ain't much for bullshittin' folks– not as far as I've seen, anyway– but she's got a knack for solvin' problems, and for pushin' her luck 'n' gettin' away with it. If anyone can finagle some kinda deal that'll keep your ducs happy without totally screwin' over the Dyrwood, I'd wager it'd be her."

"Elegantly stated, Edér," Aloth deadpanned, rolling his eyes and pushing his food around on his plate. "Speaking of Axa, she's been away from the table for quite a while now..." The elf lifted his head, anxiously scanning the throng of diners, drunks, and debutantes. "If I recall, she only said she wanted to catch up with Ingroed and Nonton, but I don't see her at the bar anymore."

"Ingroed and Nonton?" Pallegina glanced around idly and spotted the little woman almost immediately– that bold red hair was unmistakable, even when mostly obscured behind the fat asses and round bellies of the taller kith surrounding her. "More friends, I assume?"

"Couple of folks from my hometown, Gilded Vale. She helped 'em outta a rough spot." The blond man glanced over at the bar, smiling at his former neighbors.

Kana looked up from his dinner, face flushed with drink. "Ah! Are those the ones who set a trap for the dead man in the bear's den?" He beamed at Pallegina, practically glowing with enthusiasm. "You must have her tell you the tale, my lady. A truly inspiring account of our Watcher's unique insight at work. She learned of their betrayal from the spirit of the victim, you see! But there's a tragic twist–"

"Hey, now, don't spoil the ending, big fella, you wasn't even there. Let her tell it." Edér had caught sight of Axa too, just as she'd turned away from the well-dressed elf she'd been speaking with, and he beckoned the redhead back to their table with a wave of his hand. The stranger watched her go, nervously fiddling with his ostentatious jewelry as she sauntered back to her friends, while Pallegina tried to remember where she'd seen him before, his eyes widening in alarm as he caught her staring at him.

"Talking about me behind my back again?" Axa sighed, grinning and shaking her head as she clambered back into her seat. "Gods, I can't leave you scoundrels alone for a second. They didn't tell you a bunch of ghost stories, did they?" She winked at Pallegina, and the paladin noticed just how tired the orlan looked.

"Only the true ones!" Kana laughed a bit too loudly– not atypical of him, but the alcohol certainly amplified his natural exuberance. Aloth delicately scooted his chair away from the overly jolly giant, vexation plain on his face.

If Axa noticed anything unusual, she didn't mention it, only chuckled and took a long drag from her pipe. "Found out where your adra arch might be, Sagani. Turns out it's somewhere over by Twin Elms, believe it or not." She glanced up at Pallegina, a cautious little smile on her tawny face. "Unfortunately, I've also heard tell that the road leading there is badly flooded right now due to inclement weather. So it looks like we'll have some time to kill before we can head over that way."

"Belfetto," Pallegina sighed. She appreciated the attempt to cheer her up, letting her know she had time to decide how to handle the Ducs' request, but she had a feeling that the longer she dwelled on her predicament, the more it would weigh on her mind.

Aloth leaned close to the little woman. "I take it this means we're to head for the catacombs on the morrow, then?" He looked simultaneously anxious and eager, as though preparing to take on a task he knew to be important but especially onerous. A familiar burden, Pallegina mused.

"Ah... perhaps," Axa replied, looking away quickly. "There are a few other things I'd like to tend to first, though, if you're all amenable. I was just talking to that elf over there, the one in the fancy robes with all the gaudy jewelry, and he's asked me to do him a favor. See, he has this friend who's a courtesan at the, uh, at the Salty Mast..."

She winced as everyone at the table put down their forks and goblets and gave her their undivided attention.

Pallegina downed the rest of her wine.

—

[bunnyywritings]

hi!! i absolutely love you and your content 🥺💞 can i request for some UA teacher!s/o finding out Aizawa’s wallpaper is a picture of her with a cat, from back when they were both ua students bc i thought of it suddenly and spilled all my uwus 😔👉🏻👈🏻💗 (ps ily and don’t forget to smile and drink ur water!!)

precious memories

Aizawa Shota x UATeacher!reader

[a/n: anon 🥺 you’re so sweet ily !! Thank you for requesting, this prompt also made me spill all my uwus, enjoy! -yours truly, bunnyy -`ღ´- ps. (y/n) is bête noire the illusion hero: nicknamed Noir™ pls don’t take the quirk or hero name as your own without permission 😣 it took me a hot minute to think of it and I want to use it in future fics]

Dating a fellow teacher had many, many perks. One mainly being that you get to see them everyday and on those rare occasions, teach a joint class together.

You were the teacher of Class 1-A’s Special training class. You had a quirk called ‘nightmare awakening,’ on a base level it allows you to be able to get into someone’s head and make them hallucinate but at your advanced level, you were able to temporarily eliminate someone’s quirk. This allowed you to create a type of simulation for the students to experience a situation where they can’t use their quirk and make the most of the situation. Even though they absolutely HATED that class, they loved you. You were probably one of the most laid back and kind hearted among the teachers. No one had really known about your relationship with Shota. Just a few of the teachers and Shinsou. The only reason he knew was because Shota wanted him to train with someone with a similar working quirk and he had accidentally caught you and his mentor mid-smooch. That was...that was an awkward time for everyone.

The class had their suspicions. They had noticed the lingering touches that would’ve seemed normal if they weren’t so nosy. The way that he would subtly compliment your combat style and they had definitely seen the blush that would color your cheeks when he had stayed to watch their training, the way that you glanced in his direction every so often. They had narrowed it down to the possibility that the both of you were mutually pining for each other. Strangely enough, everyone was intrigued. Yes, even Bakugou and Todoroki. Deep down they just wanted their teacher to be happy, especially after everything that he’s sacrificed for them. They were in for a very shocking discovery.

Once the bell rang for your class, they all made their way to the training grounds. Heading to the locker rooms, Mina was trying to get the other girls on board with a plan to get their two teachers together.

A sudden warmth on the small of your back made you jump a bit. “So what’s on the lesson plan today, bête noire?” The way he basically purred your hero name in your ear made you turn a bright red, butterflies fluttering around in your stomach.

“O-Oh uhm well I was planning on doing a hostage situation.” You motioned to the trio of dummies tied to some chairs. “I’d be playing the villain, I’m still not sure about the exact simulation so I might just wing it.” You shrugged.

“Hmm well you always do amazing so, I’m not too worried. Just know that Bakugou, Denki, and Mineta have the lowest scores with hostage negotiation.” There was a slight teasing undertone to his statement.

“Well maybe that’s not their fault.” His eyebrow rose at your accusatory tone.

“And what are you implying? That I’m not a good teacher?” He played along.

“All I’m saying is that, a little more kind reassurance instead of constant discipline goes a long way.” You laid your hand on his shoulder.

“Is that so?” His voice seemed to get impossibly deeper, capture weapon moving to wrap around your wrist and hold it taut against your lower back. “That’s awfully rich coming from someone who loves being disciplined...kitten.” You could hear the smirk in his voice, breath hitching in your throat before realizing where you were.

“Shota! Don’t say things like that, the students could walk in at any second.” You scolded quietly, playfully smacking his chest as he let go of your wrist. A soft chuckle made it past his lips. This was a little out of the ordinary for your boyfriend. “What is going on with you today? You’re never this playful, especially in public.” you couldn’t help but smile up at him.

“Well, you haven’t been coming around to my place lately...I just missed you.” He stuck his hands in his pockets.

You basically swooned at his words. “Oh honey, I’m sorry. I’ve just been so busy grading, along with a couple of other things but I missed you too.”

“Considering it’s Friday and you don’t have patrol duties tonight, come get dinner with me.” He wasn’t asking.

“That sounds like a wonderful plan, Eraserhead.”

“I’ll pick you up at 7 sharp, Bête Noire.” He then made his way to the exit just as everyone started to pile into the room. Going to keep the door open, his phone had fallen out of his pocket when pulling out his hands but being someone who doesn’t care much for the device, he hadn’t noticed. Once he walked off, Denki, Hagakure and Mina made their way to the door but stopping once Mina saw the black device on the ground.

“Oh, someone dropped their phone.” Denki picked it and examined it for any damage.

“Who even brings their phone to training?” Mina frowned, turning the phone on to see the wallpaper.

“Wha- hey that looks like Noir-sensei? What’s she doing as someone’s lock screen?” Kaminari tilted his head in confusion.

“Look, it must’ve been when she went here! That’s a UA uniform.” Hagakure pointed out enthusiastically.

All three of them looked at the picture, then at their teacher. “Wow...hopefully I age that well.” Mina pouted.

“What are you three doing over there? You’re already late for class.” You weren’t chastising them but you made your disapproval clear.

“Well we found someone’s phone and you’re their lock screen!” At Denki’s words, your face scrunched up in confusion. They ran over to you and handed you the device. You turned it on and your eyes widened.

“You guys, I’m flattered but that’s a little strange to have a picture of high school me on your phone...so who’s phone is it?” Everyone looked at each other, shrugging. “Hmm strange.” You looked down at the phone and brushed your finger over the home button, realization filling your body when it unlocked. “Well anyways!” You cleared your throat. “Today’s simulation is hostage negotiation.” Some students, mainly Bakugou, groaned as you slipped the phone into your pocket for safe keeping.

...

After everyone left for their next class, you took your scoring sheets to the teacher’s lounge to have some coffee and do some grading. 

Letting out a heavy sigh, you plopped down onto the couch and placed the stack of papers and mug down onto the coffee table.

“Rough day?” All Might asked as he sat on the couch opposite couch.

“Mmm not really, just tiring.” You answered while rolling your shoulders back. “After today, I now only have a student failing at hostage negotiation.”

“Ahh! I see. That young Bakugou can be a bit difficult.” He nodded sympathetically.

You snorted a laugh, almost spitting out your coffee. “Yes he can be but I’m talking about that boy Mineta...he tried to flirt with one of the hostage dummies. It was s-strange.” A shudder ran through your body at the memory.

“Oh...I-well I don’t really know what to say to that.” He chuckled awkwardly.

“Neither do I...” You pulled the phone out of your pocket and looked at the lock screen.You couldn’t believe he still had the photo.

It was during your guys’ last year at UA. This was before either of you had worked up the nerve to confess your feelings. The two of you had been going to a cafe a little ways from the school, it was a pretty solemn day because the two of you would be graduating in three days and heading to different agencies. Shota was staying in Musutafu and you were heading a few cities down. This would be the last time the two of you would really have quality time together until a few years later when you opened your own agency and moved back to Musutafu and quickly rose in the ranks. Once at the cafe, you couldn’t help the delighted squeak that left your mouth. It was filled with adorable cats.

“We’ve been here before, (y/n).” Shota shook his head fondly as to both of you went to sit. Almost instantly, a bunch of cats made their way towards you. He watched in amusement as a calico kitty climbed onto your shoulder, you had gasped and gently gathered it into your hands.

“Well hello there~ What are you doing up there you silly kitty~” You cooed as you started to pepper its little face with kisses. He had taken advantage of your distraction and took a picture of you. He caught the moment the kitten placed its paw on your cheek and gave your nose a lick. He blushed. You looked so adorable...ethereal even.

Your eyes began to water at the memory. You were so grateful for this man. You had been bullied by other students because you had, what they saw as, a villain’s quirk. You had absolutely no friends. Until he mustered up the courage to talk to you, since he too had been bullied for his “villainous quirk.’ The two of you had instantly clicked and became good friends, your friendship expanding during your second year when the both of you met the resident loud mouth, Hizashi.

Caught up in the moment, you took notice that it was lunch time already and made your way to the Class 1-A classroom. Sliding the door open, you were met with the sight of Shota writing on the black board. His features quickly changed from confused to worried when he saw the tears in your eyes.

“Sweetheart? Is everything alright?” He put the book he was holding onto the desk. He opened his mouth but closed it when you held his face in your hands, thumb gently running over the scar under his eye.

“I love you so much...you know that right?” You whispered, voice thick with emotion.

“Of course I know that darling, I love you too.” The way he said those words back with absolutely no hesitation made the tears fall and he pulled you close, hands on your hips. He leaned down, meeting your lips in a soft kiss. Your mouths fitting together like they were meant to never be apart, lips moving to convey all the things you wanted to say out loud but didn’t have the patience to confess. Your tears had intermingled with your lips but neither of you seemed to care.

When the both of you pulled away, you rested your forehead against his, wanting to stay as close as possible in the moment. Lashes still wet with tears as you looked at him. “I never believed in soulmates, but I do believe that it was by fate that I met you. You were there for me when others called me a villain. You still made an effort when I went away...I don’t deserve you.”

“If anything, it’s me that doesn’t deserve you.” There was a silent pause. “I plan on marrying you one day, you know?”

A grin split your lips at his words. “I hope you know that I plan on saying yes when you do.”

He kissed the teas from your cheeks and brushed your hair back. “What brought on this sudden love confession, kitten?”

You pulled his phone from your pocket and showed him the picture. “Ahh...so that’s where it went...” He muttered as he took it from your hand. “This is the day I decided that I was gonna marry you one day.”

“I’m glad. This was the day that I realized I wanted you by my side forever.” You pulled out your own phone and unlocked it, the homescreen was a photo of Shota on that same day with a cat nuzzling into his hand.

The two of you were just a pair of lovesick idiots.

“Oh my goodness...that was absolutely adorable!” Mina quietly fawned at the sight of their two teachers.

“That’s how a man truly shows his love.” Kirishima and Mina were both teary eyed at the sight.

“Whatever idiots, let them have their gross love fest alone...” Bakugou growled as he pulled the two away from the door.

The entirety of Class 1-A knew by the end of the day and definitely teased Aizawa about it on Monday.

[jawritter]

You and Me...

Chapter 22

***SERIES WARNINGS**** Rape, non con, male!rape, injury, violence, discription of injury caused by rape, nightmares, self harm, panick attackes, implied female non con, language, ass hole Jensen, hurt!jensen, dark fic, smut. If there is anything else I will add it as I go.

***Chatper Warnings***  TRIGGER WARNING!!! VIVID DESCRIPTION OR NIGHTMARE, Rape, discritiption of the begginging of rape? I guess that would be a good way to say it. Unconsented touching, oral, and implied anal fingering, (again all dream induced, but may be triggering for some!) Description of being sick, (vomiting), language, angst, some fluff, I think that’s everything. I don’t want to give too much away!

Pairing: Jensen Ackles x Reader

Word Count: 1450

A/N: As always all mistakes are mine!, Please do not copy my work!! Feedback is gold! I hope you enjoy this one! (Nightmare is in bold print.)

Summery: It’s funny how one choice you made can change your whole life. One mistake can alter you course, and set you on a path that forever will haunt you. Two people find themselves getthing through one of the hardest trials of Jensen’s life, on just one small promise. You and Me. We’ll get through it together…

Want more? Check out my masterlist!!

***MASTERLIST***

***YOU AND ME MASTERLIST***

Jensen's POV:

"You sure are pretty." The slimmy voice graveled in Jensen's ear, making his skin crawl. 

"We're going to have a lot of fun with you." He said, and three other voices chuckle around him. 

Jensen tries to move his legs, and arms around him, but he couldn't. As his foggy vision cleared there were three things that came to the forefront of his focus. 

His head was throbbing as if it had its own pulse. 

He was chained to a bed again.

And he was completely naked.

He felt a rough calloused hand side up his inner thigh slowly as the large man circled the bed. Moving closer and closer to his manhood.  He started to scream as loud as he could, praying someone would hear him. 

Thrashing his body as hard as he could against his restraints. Doing his best to close his legs as the man's hand moved closer and closer to its goal. 

He gagged, and started to vomit as a warm mouth of another man came around his cock, and the man who had his hand on his thigh inserted two fingers harshly into his rectum. 

Nausea is what pulled Jensen from the nightmare. In a way he was thankful, but in a way he wished his stomach would stop trying to expel everything that had touched it that day. 

He sat up on the side of the quickly and quietly as he could as to not wake up y/n. Staggering towards the bathroom, and closing the door, barely making it to the toilet before he wasn't able to hold back any longer. 

Hitting his knees on the cold tile floor. Violently sick.  

He heaved against his stomach. Trying everything he knows to do to stop the violent attack on him caused by the dream. That's when he heard the door open behind him and felt y/n's hands on his back. Rubbing it soothingly. He leaned back carefully. Still not trusting his own stomach. Laying his head on your lap as you sit on the tub next to him.

"You okay there handsome?" You asked, reaching over in the small bathroom and grabbing a washcloth. Running it under some cold water, and rubbing it against his forehead and neck. 

"Yeah, I'll live." He says, still shaking a little, and fighting against the memories that were just below the surface. 

"Another nightmare?" You finally asked after he stopped shaking. 

"Yeah." Was all Jensen could answer. His stomach was still rolling, and he didn’t trust himself to get up from the floor just yet.

"Wanna talk about it?" You ask, checking him over again. 

"No, it's not worth talking about. I said, I wanted to get away from all that shit. I hadn't had a nightmare in days. Much less woke up sick like this in months. Why now? We were supposed to be having a good time." He said, standing slowly to his feet. Holding onto the wall for support as he made his way towards the bed again. 

"Baby, you can't run from things like this, and we are having a good time.” You tell him wrapping your arms around him as you both settle down into the bed. His head on your shoulders os that you could card your fingers through his hair. Helping the tenseness of his shoulders to ebb away slowly.

“You're doing so good Jensen, you're so strong, you're doing better than any of us expect you to do, and one bad night is nothing to be ashamed of or upset about. Let’s get you back to sleep, and in the morning you will feel a lot better.”

Your POV:

The light shone brightly through the window the next morning. You sat up quickly, checking Jensen to make sure he was still sleeping peacefully, which he was. 

He had scared you last night. He'd done good for days. That must have been a pretty vivid nightmare, he hadn't woken up sick like that in a long time.

The rest of the night seemed to go peacefully once you'd gotten him back to sleep, and you hoped that was the last of the nightmares on this trip for him. He was so upset about it, and you wanted him to enjoy himself, not worry about nightmares. 

Today the two of you would make the next leg of your journey together.

Sliding out of the bed, you pack your things as much as possible, and as silently as possible in hopes of getting on the road quickly. 

He had been doing so well. You didn’t want him to relapse because of the stress the return of Supernatural was causing him. You refused to lose your Jensen to memories of what those sick fucks had done to him, and you were determined to do whatever you could to help him get through this and get his life back on track.

Several hours later you were back on the road after Jensen had takens some pretty awesome looking pictures of some of the old famous ruins, and old western style scenery. He was in his seventh heaven. That smile that you loved so much back on his face as the road stretched out in front of the two of you. 

Almost as if the nightmare last night hadn’t occurred, and that much you were thankful for, and were finally able to breathe a sigh of relief. 

Just because he was acting better doesn’t mean that the problem has gone away, because you knew that it had not, but he couldn’t let it define him. That was what you were most concerned about. So far he seemed to be handling it all well, or at least better than he was.

Later that day another park lunch, and more getting to know each other. You loved to hear the stories about him and his siblings, his family. The things he liked, and was interested in. The things he dreamed about doing. He seemed just as interested in yours. 

After about a 10 hour drive you two pulled up in Salt Lake City, Utah. Jensen had rented another bed and breakfast. This one was called the Inn On The Hill. An absolutely gorgeous, almost Victorian style bed and breakfast. Honestly one of your favorite errors that you'd written and read more than one book about.

After getting settled into the room for the night Jensen came bouncing back into the room. 

"Get dressed babe, I made us reservations at the Roof restaurant." He said, planting little kisses everywhere he could reach, crawling his large frame over yours that was stretched out on the bed. 

"Okay! Okay!" You tell him, trying to squirm away from him playfully. Shoving at his large shoulders. 

“You're insatiable!” You tell him as he rolls off of you. Going to grab his watch and wallet he’d taken off when he’d taken a shower a few moments ago.

“Yes, I am, and you love every fucking minute of it sweetheart.” He said, coming to cage you to the bed again. “Now quite being a little brat, and get that pretty ass dressed, I’m hungry.”

You stick your tongue out at him dramatically, and fold your arms over your chest. Ignoring your own growling stomach in order to annoy him further. 

You loved it when Jensen was this playful, and it didn’t happen often so you were determined to take as much advantage of it as possible. 

------------------------------

The restaurant was beautiful. 

You'd never really been to anything this nice before. 

The waitress brought Jensen and yourself into a back room, brought out a wine list that Jensen had quickly chosen from. Reaching across the table grabbing your hand in his. 

"What do you think?" He asked, gesturing around him at the fancy restaurant. 

"It's gorgeous! I love it!" You tell him, earning a proud smile from him. 

"When you travel a lot you find these little gems like this." He said, rubbing his thumb over the back of your hand gently. “This one is one of my favorites.”

The waitress returned, and you both ordered your food. Which was brought back to you surprisingly quickly. 

The two of you ate your dinner in a comfortable silence. 

You did notice that Jensen kept nervously glancing around him, and you hoped that it wasn't his anxiety attacks coming back after the nightmare last night. 

This is the most he’d been out in public away from the comfort of his hometown. Sure there were fans in his hometown that wanted pictures, and things when he was out in public, but a lot of them he’d been around so much at convintentions and things he even knew some of them by name. 

You were also in a private room. So fans weren’t a problem.

"Baby, I got something I need to tell you." He said, looking across the table at you after making sure that the room was completely empty of waitresses.

 "Okay..." 

You look him over carefully. This wasn't the first time Jensen had started a sentence this way, so you had learned not to overreact, but after last night, you were a little nervous. 

What he did next, you didn’t expect at all. Not in a million years. 

Sliding his own chair back he got up, and walked over next to you. 

Then proceeded to get down on one knee, grabbing your hands in his he looked you directly into the eye. Your heart started to pound harder and harder with each passing second as he tried to take a deep breath to collect his thoughts. 

"You know, since the moment we met, I was falling in love with you, I was just too big of a damn coward to admit it. I haven't done right by you at all. I definitely don't deserve you. You sat by me in a hospital, cleaning me up every time I would get sick. Holding my hand. Sitting up with me through nightmares. I was weak. I wasn't half the man I should have been. I was a coward in a lot more ways than I could even begin to try to find excusable. The night I disrespected you that way.... You should have left me. I didn't deserve you to stay. Really I probably deserved to die that night like the piece of shit I was. Still you came back to me. I learned something that night.” 

Jensen took an unsteady breath, his eyes tearing up as much as your own before he continued.

“Baby, that's that I can't live without you. I love you. I always have, I've just been to dumb to see it. You're my everything. You always have been. I want to give you everything you deserve, and more. I want to spend the rest of my life making up to you everything I've ever done wrong by." 

Slipping his hand in the inside pocket of his suit coat he pulled out a little black box. Lifting the lid slowly, revealing the most beautiful engagement ring that you'd ever seen.

Your jaw hit the floor as tears flowed freely down your face. 

"Y/n, I love you more than my own life. I want to spend the rest of our lives showing you that. Will you do me an honor that I don't really deserve, and be my wife?" 

You sat there for a moment slack jawed In complete and utter shock. 

Of all the things you expected to come out of his mouth that wasn't one of them. 

He shifted nervously, taking a nervous breath, piercing green eyes searching your own. 

He was about to stand up. He looked defeated down at his knee. One big tear sliding down his perfect face, and making a little round spot on his black slacks. 

He thought for just a moment he messed up. Now he was about to lose you for real. He'd moved too fast, he'd scared you off. 

Reaching down, putting your hand on the side of his face, making him look up at you. Those beautiful candy apple green eyes that you loved so much full of so much emotion. He took a deep breath, and was about to say something, but you cut him off with your answer. 

"Yes."

In a moment his lips found yours. His arms pulling you close to him. He was kissing every free spot that he could find. When he was done he slipped the ring onto your finger. 

It felt at home there. 

"I love you so much, Jensen." You tell him as you both get back into the car to head back to the bed and breakfast. 

"I love you to y/n." He says, wrapping his arms tightly around you. Both of you just sitting there for a moment before he started the car to take you back to your room for the night. 

Tonight felt like the first night of the rest of your lives. 

Hopefully this was the beginning of better things for you both. 

You couldn't believe that this man was really yours. That you would be so lucky to have him want to be with you. 

He thought he didn't deserve you, but really it was you who felt like you didn't deserve him. He was more than you ever could have dreamed off. Scars and all. Because sometimes whether we believe it or not, it's the scars that make us beautiful in the first place. 

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