#(it's the way jami is actually in the lead so far over everyone else-)

[theha1r]

jami would like to point out she should actually be an option on the favourite person question and she's shook that she's not also she got 7 points FIRST try so which sibling really loves who more

"okay you've got a point, but to be fair ... i didn't put you because that'd make it too easy. everyone would get it right away. because obviously if you were on there you'd be the answer. but alright, alright. you win this round."

[henrysglock]

If I'm Henry, and You're Henry, then Where's Brenner?

I feel insane just writing this post, but the math maths a little too well for me to not say anything...so here we are.

Em, bless his soul, has been up TFS's ass about the "Brenner is Henry" and "Henry knows he's in a play" stuff.

My deal is: I wonder if it's not necessarily that Henry is Dr. Brenner/they're physically the same person, but more along the lines of "Henry is playing Brenner". I'm staring at:

"Every One is just waiting...waiting for it all to be over. All while performing in a silly, terrible play, day after day."

Now, as we've discussed, "Henry" breaks the 4th wall and interacts with TFS as though he's realized he's in a play. However, as Em pointed out in the other post I linked above, "Brenner" has an...interesting line that could be read two ways:

One way implies he's addressing "Henry"/pulling "Henry's" attention back to him, and the other implies that only he, Henry-Brenner, is the only 001 who could possibly understand the Shadow. There's also a good number of "Who is Henry Creel?" word-drops, cluing that Henry and "Brenner" might be linked via identity.

And so of course that brought to mind some of the dialogue repetitions I've noticed between Brenner and Henry in filmed canon (I'm just showing my faves because of the image limit):

1. Something more challenging:

2. The "Well, well. Look—" dialogue frame

Now, what's particularly interesting about the second set, in my opinion, is the hairstyles.

Here we are before we go through the mirror to see baby El:

Business as usual.

Then we push through the mirror, but only one parting-side swaps:

Henry's hair, here, swaps to part very unnaturally to the same side as Brenner's...which has me looking at how unnatural the hair on TFS "Brenner" is:

Not to mention the fact that Patrick looks so much like Jamie:

Now, you're probably going "but James, all of this implies, at most, that TFS 'Brenner' and on-film Henry could be the same person".

And you'd be right! That is what this sounds like...So far.

Here's the kicker: a) TFS exists in a physically impossible timeline based on the papers alone:

b) "Brenner" doesn't age, although decades have supposedly passed:

(Maybe because decades haven't passed. It's only been a few minutes. I wonder if, had we'd seen NINA for tapes spanning years rather than days, certain ages would have been weirdly frozen. Many thoughts.)

c) Lack of aging aside, "Brenner" shows up in an orderly outfit with no tie, something we never see in filmed canon:

Ever.

(TFS "Brenner" is also missing Brenner's iconic sideburns...sideburns Henry very much doesn't have...a weird choice from the hair dept.)

d) All the direct NINA paralleling (just my favorite because of the image limit):

And so, with that in mind, I take us right back to Rome (all paths lead here): Sentient Henry.

This ^ isn't the only time someone in NINA has been "too sentient", either. Brenner does it here, when he speaks directly to teen El, with a side of foreshadowing for the 4.07 massacre:

And I know we've speculated that it could be Brenner himself who's weirdly sentient here, and that's still absolutely possible!

But with a Henry who's sentient in NINA (The "El knows it's a simulation "simulation" that's actually showing signs of being some form of time-travel/rewriting history), a Brenner who's sentient in NINA, and now a Henry-Brenner in the "everyone knows they're in a play" play that has weird time-travel/rewriting history lines:

I have to ask (in relation to Brenner himself being sentient in NINA):

Maybe there are only two sentient characters in NINA: The subject, and...someone else, some One who occasionally bounces between roles (like a swing actor):

So..."Henry", and some One who knows the goddamn lines...

That is to say, what we see TFS Brenner doing was likely done by on-film Brenner at some point, but it may not be Brenner who's portraying it in TFS. Thus "who is Henry" might not be saying that Henry = Brenner on a physical level in reality, but more that he may be portraying the dramatized version of Brenner via a NINA-type simulation. This might explain why TFS "Brenner" is so different from on-film Brenner (see: the constant thread of hollering, behavior we never see from on-film Brenner, even at his angriest): Henry's not a good actor in TFS. Brenner might seem like a weird parody of himself because Henry's a shit actor and can't pull off the role...Just like we see here, with the weird, shitty knockoff One:

Now, none of this is me claiming the events of TFS didn't happen in some capacity, just that they may not have happened the way TFS presents them/TFS is a performance, much like NINA is.

and I mean, on top of it all...

[lunar-years]

I do love Roy but I think compared to a lot of other characters, people forgive his behaviour and reactions far more than they should. Even as far back as S1, he is one of the sort of leads so he is portrayed more sympathetically but he is really not a nice man to a whole lot of people. If I had to work with an almost middle aged man who kept yelling and threatening to attack all the 20s somethings in my work place I'd quit. He treats Keeley very poorly in the way he dumps her and reacts to the tape and I KNOW it is because he has a lot of his own internal issues and self worth but thats not an excuse in a grown ass man? Everyone else in the series grows, but Roy is back to acting like almost the same guy at the end (mostly, there are some wonderful moments but for the most part they screwed his character arc over)

I agree with a lot of this. I think Roy is just as bad as Jamie in s1 (and Roy is notably 15 years older and also in a leadership position as Captain, so should have absolutely have done better). He also has a capacity to be prideful, selfish and cruel throughout the series (the breakup, his comment to Keeley about the leak in s3 being case in point, as well as using Jamie as the sounding board for all his anger without actually opening up to Jamie or calling him his friend). He obviously has a lot of complicated reasons for those actions that we as the audience are made to privy to and can understand, but it's also not an excuse for the behavior. Yet both the fandom and the show have a tendency to leave Roy entirely out of the accountability conversation, alleviate him of any faults, give him nondescript half-arsed apology moments and then act like he deserves applause for it (don't even get me started on the 'how could Keeley not take him back after he apologized' and 'jamie ruined his chance with keeley already because he was MEAN to her [but roy totally wasn't and they should get back together xoxox]' crowd) and insist any and all moments of him behaving badly in s2/3 were merely bad writing and 'not the REAL Roy'. it especially irks me when the people who live up roy's arse don't give an ounce of the same grace to the other characters who have also made their fair share of mistakes (Jamie & Nate in particular; Because people do the same shit they do with Roy with Rebecca).

However i disagree with you entirely that Roy ends up right back where he started at the end of the show--I know, I know, the bar scene. Despite that I think Roy arguably had the most successful arc of anyone on the show and he grows enormously. I adored his ending.

[puppypeter]

(Omega!Roy / Alpha!Jamie anon)

You absolute legend, you've done it again. It's like you have an access point to my brain and can literally transcribe my thoughts!!! EVERY. LAST. TAKE. IS ABSOLUTE PERFECTION‼️‼️‼️💯💯💯💯

My brain is going a hundred miles a minute so buckle up, because this is possibly gonna be the longest ask you'll ever receive:

YES to youth sports culture being WEIRD AF for having an incredibly invasive control over kids' bodily autonomies, ESPECIALLY within an ABO second gender essentialism type way!!

And OOOOHHH Omega Grandpa is absolutely PERFECT!!!! It would set up such a jarring culture shift for Roy when he arrives at Sunderland, to go from a home lead by an Omega patriarch, only to come to a place where Alpha dominance is treated not just as a logical course of action, but as a biological TRUTH.

In my mind, Roy's parents are both emotionally distant but ultimately well meaning betas. Roy's family was implied to be quite poor, so in my mind they both worked, leaving Roy's Grandpa to do the emotional labour of raising Roy, even if Roy's parents were ultimately working to provide for him too. They probably saw Sunderland as Roy's best opportunity: housing, three square meals, access to training that could lead him to an extremely profitable career that they wouldn't be able to provide for him otherwise? It was probably the most practical decision for Roy's future interests, even if it had huge emotional consequences.

This would make it even sadder when Roys grandpa dies, because since both his parents are betas, he had no one to turn to that could understand what he was going through after he presented or show him another path other than the one Sunderland forced him on. And how could he be so ungrateful and go whine to his parents about Sunderland, anyway, when all either of them have ever done is work tirelessly to provide for him and his baby sister?? Thus begins Roy's emotional repression.

I ADORE your take on Roy's time in Sunderland, and I think his presentation would have been even more distressing because every one just ASSUMED that Roy would be an Alpha - since he's such an indisputable prodigy - and when he presented omega, it completely blindsided everyone, a total 'inconvenience', because they had to supply Roy with expensive meds, sort out the even more expensive legal work so the 'big secret' didn't get out, etc. This obviously sets up Roy's internalised idea that his omega needs are a chore and an inconvenience that needs to be catered for.

I also LOVEEEEED your takes on Roy's adult personality, ESPECIALLY about him being touch-starved. SOOO TRUEEEE, that man hasn't had a heat partner in his ENTIRE LIFE!!!! Go through the humiliation of having to rely on someone else??? Roy would literally rather die.

On that note, I think Roy would be both resentful of his own presentation, seeing it as his 'one weakness', but also kind of,,, ashamed? That he so clearly does not fit the typical omega archetype, making him both sneeringly judgemental of 'softer', more stereotypical male omegas and almost,,, jealous of them, of their obvious ease with their instincts and their bodies that Roy has spent an entire LIFETIME battling against.

I think this resentment towards other omegas would, as you say, make him not initially be an advocate for omegas in sports, which is why it'll be SO impactful for Roy personally when he DOES actually step out of the closet and advocate for Omega rights, because it'll be the most obvious sign of how far he's come!!

I also think Phoebe would play a big role in Roy unlearning his instinctive resistance towards his 'omega instincts', because how could loving and caring for and wanting to protect Phoebe ever be a BAD thing, how could it ever make Roy WEAK?

And OMGGGGGG are you a psychic?????? Because Jamie's backstory is absolutely PERFECT!!!! NO NOTES!!!!!! GEORGIES ROLE AND JAMES' INFLUENCE, ITS SO SO BRILLIANTLY EXPLAINED!!!!! 💓💓💓

And speaking of Jamie, an extension of Roy's omegaphobia has TOTALLY gotta be Roy struggling with his attraction to Jamie, at least in the physical sense. And this underlying attraction for one another is DEFINITELY driving up the tension in the hormone addled locker room as you said, lol, and will allllll come to a head when Roy accidentally goes into heat. (The idea of it being kick-started because of all the different medications Roy is on is absolutely BRILLIANT!!)

And OMGGG i didnt even THINK about subliminally bonded RoyJamie!!! That could also be why Roy would latch onto Jamie as a heat partner!!!! YOUR MIIIIINDDD!!!💖💖💖

I also fricking LOVE how this au so perfectly sets up Roy and Jamie as mirrors of each other!!! Because while Jamie struggles with feeling shame over his gentler/softer/more attentive side that is seen as 'not Alpha-like:, ROY struggles with the inverse problem, that his personality is too bossy/dominant/cold to be 'Omega-like'. And OMGGGG could you IMAGINE how cathartic it would be for both of them to realise that they complement each other's internalised issues soo well?? Roy needing a gentler, more submissive Alpha to feel in control and safe, and Jamie needing a more demanding, controlling Omega whose instructions he can follow to feed his attentive instincts and feel like he's providing for them.

Further ABO background: Roy's suppressant heats are short, a day at most, and on a regulated schedule, but they are EXCRUCIATING, cramps and fever and exhaustion and chills and delirium. Basically all the worst parts of a heat with none of the good. So can you IMAGINE how life altering a natural heat with Jamie would be?? Jamie, who would be soo attentive to Roy's pleasure, literally single-mindedly focused on making the experience as good as physically possible for Roy. It would literally blow Roy's MIND, and would most likely be extremely emotional. The idea that his heats can be purely about his PLEASURE? HIS wants, HIS needs? How could he NOT grow attached to Jamie after that???

I think this fic would be fast-burn in terms of Royjamies physical intimacy (because of Roy's heat), but the slow burn comes in with the EMOTIONAL intimacy. Sloooowly coming to terms with the fact that: no, I don't feel this pull towards this person because of simple base instincts like physical desire, it's because I actually LIKE them for who they are as a person, for how they make me laugh, for how they take care of me, for how they understand me more than i ever thought anyone ever could and uh oh im in love.

Thank you thank you THANK YOU for sharing your brilliant thoughts on this au, the effort you put in to responding to all my rambling asks is SO greatly appreciated!! 💖💖💖💖💖✨✨✨✨

I saw your ask earlier and it made me so happy even during this long long crappy day at work!! 🥰🥰🥰 Sorry for only getting to it now, putting it below the cut for the sake of everyone' scrolling but I love long asks!! 💙💙💙

I love how you expanded on the omega grandad thing, like that alone with baby roy could be its own stand alone fic of a series. Like that part of roy being brought up by an omega and two betas is so perfect. I feel like his grandpa would also have been the kind that is clear on what is expected of an omega but also very informed on omega rights, progress and would stand his ground against omega mistreatments by alphas etc which is what makes his grandad driving him to Sunderland even worse!! But maybe they had some connection to there and he initially got placed with a nice older omega lady since he was just a 9 year old, much younger than the other kids and it was expected he be around someone that could "mummy" him.

Maybe there was a change in the club ownership/management in the few years after or maybe when he came back from home at christmas post-grandad's death he was very much acting up, they placed him somewhere else, maybe a host family with other kids? And he was kind of labelled as being angry and mean (he was just grieving the only person who ever cared about him!) and problematic and they constantly reminded him what opportunity they were giving him etc and kind of brainwashed him about how he should be grateful to them and the team, since no one would be taking care of him otherwise.

And it only gets worse once he presents as omega of course. I have many times thought of possible storylines for roy's past and Sunderland as a place that laters gets outed for abuse is definitely on that list (regardless of omega/alpha stuff).

I do like your idea of both beta "well meaning" parents - there's a hell of a lot of emotional neglect that can come from that.

And what you mentioned about him feeling like an inconvenience goes so well with it. Because he would have ended up being super-independant, learning to avoid relying on other people which then applies to Jamie too (but on a slightly different note.. the shame/embarrassment of not really knowing what to do? His grandad would have given him the talk when he presented but he passed too early!!)

He definitely would have very complex feelings around being an omega. For starters, he does not fit the omega beauty standards. He might be leaner than other footballers, but he's not "delicate" or "pretty" (lie!! he's so pretty!!) and his body has also gone through changes due to the medication, like being very hairy (jamie is so horny for it)! And god knows he has not learnt how to take care of himself as a omega either, because he was trying to distance himself to not be found out so he does not know how to make himself pretty for his alpha, dress nicely, etc

I feel like him coming out and advocating for omega rights could be linked to reconnecting to his grandad in some way. Think post-Amsterdam bike ride for example, but perhaps he finds his grandad diaries? or someone finds him while doing a research paper/book on his grandfather contribution to some important policy change 30+ years ago (I'm looking at you Trent Crimm!!)

Something that would bring it full circle, make him realise that his grandad did not really abandon him in some way as he had done anything to ensure better rights for him even when he didn't know he'd be an omega (but grandad knew, he always knew... something something noted in his journal about the way a very very young roy cared for all living creatures, especially the small ones that couldn't defend themselves) >>> present day roy advocating for omega rights in sports, but in particular for the treatment of kids in academies as they are the ones who can't defend themselves. And yes, totally linked to Phoebe too and feeling that need to protect her. Something around meeting Georgie in Manchester and seeing an omega mother be so fiercely protective of her alpha son, making that almost aggressive protection be something to be proud of, something that doesn't make him a bad omega for speaking up and being loud and 'aggressive' towards abusers.

(I won't expand on jamie & georgie simply because he's a mummy's boy in every version ever for me and she's a baddie!!)

"Because while Jamie struggles with feeling shame over his gentler/softer/more attentive side that is seen as 'not Alpha-like:, ROY struggles with the inverse problem, that his personality is too bossy/dominant/cold to be 'Omega-like'." >>> you described it so well!!

I do think Jamie wants to do a very good job for his omega, he wants to dote over him and ensure he has everything he needs and is fed and warm and loved (some stepfather Simon influence there too perhaps)

I love your added angst of roy's suppressant heats being extremely painful (we love giving roy chronic conditions over here so). I do wonder if maybe there's some of this first, before they end up together, that jamie does witness him being in so much pain (lord i love the angst of a character witnessing the other going through hell and unable to do much). Maybe jamie knew already what it was or maybe not, maybe it was before they got closer and roy comes across as very mean and angry when he's just in pain. Maybe the first time they are together roy is so worried because if he normally hurts this much = he thinks the pain he goes through is what a normal heat is meant to feel like, imagine how much worse it will be if he has to put that thing in him (lolz) or have an alpha touch him all over when his entire body hurts.

But I also like the idea of them jumping straight into it physically vs taking their time emotionally! Always love a good slow burn (and hey, that could be part three of the series eheh)

[rhapsodyred-writes]

"Xilixas!" Roxy called after knocking on his door loud enough to be heard down the hall. Her patience was very quickly running out.

She was just about to knock again when the door opened, and she damn near knocked on Xilixas's bare chest. She was lucky then, in that he was around. Unfortunately, today seemed to be one of those days. At least he was wearing shorts.

"Hey," He purred, eyes half lidded as he closed the door a little to lean against the frame.  "Something I can help you with?"

The suggestion in his tone was not lost on Roxy, but she wasn't in the mood for that kind of sparring match with him right now. No, right now she was after something else.

"Not now." But her tone was just enough pleading that his eyebrows arched playfully in response.

“Ohh?” 

“Dude, seriously, don’t you look around?” Jamie’s words would have come across annoyed with anyone else, but Xilixas caught the lighthearted tone.

“Oh, hello,” He singsonged, leaning a little harder against the door frame. “Here for a snack?” He asked, tilting his head to the side to bare his neck a little.

At this, Jamie seemed at a loss, but whether that was because Xilixas’s brazen offer had caught him off guard or because he was genuinely considering it, Roxy couldn’t tell.

“He actually just polished off a bag of cheese-dusted nacho chips.” She cut in, drawing the flirt’s attention back to her.

Xilixas’s borderline sultry expression dropped into one of amusement. “That’s a choice.”

“Come on, I didn’t come here to be shamed.”

“So what did you guys come here for?” Xilixas slipped into more of a slouch against the door frame.

“Heard you might have some info regarding the whereabouts of a certain sword of mine.” Roxy said, with no small amount of impatience.

Xilixas snorted and opened the door wider before slipping farther into his room, his invitation entirely nonverbal.

Roxy wasn’t optimistic about his response, but she followed him anyway, Jamie in tow.

Xil’s room was messier than usual, things strewn across the floor haphazardly. He wasn’t known to be tidy, but he was rarely this messy.

“So is that a yes?” She asked as Xilixas picked up an orange tank top that had been draped over the back of the couch and pulled it on over his head.

“It’s not a no, I’ll tell you that much.” At her blank expression, he continued. “It’s not really a yes either though. The only thing I know from talking to Dez is that Salem might have it, but no one wants to go into his room to check.” He shrugged. “And that’s assuming that he’s not carrying it around with him.”

“So you don’t have anything new?” 

Xilixas snorted a soft laugh again. “Who told you I did?”

At this, Roxy was forced to admit that perhaps her source was not the most reliable, but Jamie cut her off.

“Dani said she overheard you talking to Dez about something that sounded relevant.” He leaned back against the wall beside the door. “To be honest we’re kind of out of leads.”

“How many people have you talked to?”

“Feels like half the household by now.” Roxy sighed.

“You talk to the dragons yet?”

Xilixas had no way of knowing what her morning had been like so far, so she really shouldn’t have gotten as frustrated as she did by that question.

“All except Salem,” She said through gritted teeth.

“Okay okay, take it easy.” He held his hands up in a placating gesture. “What about Jude?”

“Does she know something?”

“Probably not,” Xilixas chuckled. “But you’re gonna want her help kicking Salem’s ass when you do find him.”

“You know, at this point it might be an idea to abandon the whole lead thing,” Jamie said. “Seems like he’s leading us through the whole house anyway, might as well talk to everyone.”

Roxy sighed, long and deep.

“Alright, let’s go see Jude.”

--

Previous

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First

[indiee19]

This Waiting Is Driving Me Wild

Alex Turner x reader

Summary: A buzzed haired Alex teases you all throughout an awards event; you reject him at first, and he makes you regret it later.

warnings: smut, light bondage, spit kink, edging

word count: 5.6k

-Requested from Wattpad

a/n: I have no damn clue if the kink shit is correct, so don't mind that, also I may change it later, so who knows

✿✼:*ﾟ:༅｡.｡༅:*･ﾟﾟ･⭑ ✿✼:*ﾟ:༅｡.｡༅:*･ﾟﾟ･⭑

You felt anticipation build up in the pit of your stomach whenever they announced the nominees for the best alternative album of 2018 category: Colors by Beck, Masseduction by St. Vincent, and Tranquility Base Hotel + Casino by Arctic Monkeys.

You held your breath, every inch of your body hoping for Alex's band to win, then they called the winner.

"And the winner is ... Tranquility Base Hotel + Casino by the Arctic Monkeys," the presenter called, stopping in between words to read the winner of off the card. You and everybody else in the room clapped and as the band stood up, Alex gave you a kiss, then walked up to the stage with the rest of the band to accept the award.

He winked at you while he was walking up the stairs without anyone but you knowing, making you blush. He walked up to the stand and took the microphone from the lady, beginning to speak. "One, two. One, two, there we go. Well, I would first of all like to thank everyone who has supported us by listening to the album, buying it, and coming to our shows. I'm very glad that you all enjoyed it enough for us to win, and for that, I'd like to say thank you, this truly does mean a lot," he said, Matt and Nick chattering behind him.

Alex said thank you one last time before they walked off stage, walking back to the table, sitting down beside you. He placed a chaste kiss on your cheek, placing the award down on the table. They soon started to call the next award nominees, and most everyone paid attention to it, you included. Alex on the other hand was watching you and you saw out of the corner of your eye that he licked his lips, one of his hands coming up to your thigh, rubbing dangerously close to the hem of your dress, coming closer and closer to go under it.

You quickly grabbed his hand and pushed it away, leaning over to tell him something. "Alex, we can't, not here, not now. We're at an awards event, one where your album is nominated," you said sternly. He bit his lip and looked as if he was deep in though, which he normally was, always coming up with the perfect response to everything.

"But, baby, you look so sexy and I don't know how much longer I can wait to 'ave you," he said, whispering in your ear, rubbing your thigh again. You moved your hand over his to top him from moving up your thigh. You turned to pay more attention to the rest of the awards ceremony.

They called the next category and said the nominees' names, another host going up to the stage to announce the winner, everyone clapping their hands, you included, when they did. While the winner was giving a small speech, Alex leaned over and kissed your neck lightly, making you look back him and give him a glare as a warning to stop. He just smirked, knowing just how to get you riled up.

He leaned over, whispering another profanity in your ear. "Baby, you look so sexy in that dress. I can't wait to have you."

"Well, you have to wait," you replied, kissing his cheek, grabbing his hand to stop him from moving any further up your leg. You looked into his eyes, waiting for him to respond, but he didn't.

You tried to be patient, hoping that he would realize that you couldn't do anything with him at the moment, and maybe not at all tonight since you would get home late and be really tired - or at least that's what you thought.

The winner walked off stage and they started to announce the next category. Though as you watched and listened, Alex started back up again with his teasing, his hand now going up your dress, ignoring your previous warnings, finding its way to the hemline of your panties, toying with it.

"Alex," you warned, grabbing his wrist to stop him from going any further than he already was. "I told you, you have to wait until we get home."

"But, baby, this waiting is driving me wild, and I know that it's driving you wild too, can't tell me otherwise," he said, getting more confident at the end of the statement. You laughed. "No, it's not actually. Because, unlike you, I'm not horny twenty-four seven," you said, turning away.

"Don't lie to me, I know 'ow horny you get. Remember the 2014 BRITS?" he said nonchalantly, whispering in your ear. You lied and said you didn't, but you did.

-

"God, Alex, please just take me already," you moaned, his tip teasing your entrance. You'd begged all throughout the awards ceremony for him to take you to the bathroom and fuck you, and he finally gave in, escaping the after party, leaving and going home.

He was now teasing you, making sure that you were a whimpering mess for him. He cocked his head and pushed himself all the way inside you.

It was a very, very long night.

-

"Yes, you do. You're thinking about it now, aren't you?" he said, kissing your cheek. You rolled your eyes and tried your best to ignore him, pushing his hands away, dodging his kisses, tuning him out, insisting that you talk to Katie and Jamie instead.

You were able to make it through another thirty minutes of the ceremony, Alex taking a break from being a narcissistic, horny, teasing asshole. Though after the thirty minutes was gone, he started right back where he started. It didn't matter how many times you told him no, your warnings only fueled him even more, getting bolder and bolder each time.

He leaned over to you when no one was looking, everyone else far too focused on the stage. "Baby, when we get home, I'm going to fuck you up," he whispered, gripping your thigh tightly. Though his words weren't abnormal for him, they did take you by surprise. You looked at him, surprised by his boldness to do that in front of everyone.

"Alex," you said, giving him a warningly look. He just smirked, more than likely planning how he was going to get you to beg for him by the end of the night.

He of course continued this behavior the rest of the awards show, making sure to tease you, placing kisses to your neck when no one was looking, whispering dirty profanities in your ear, rubbing up your thigh, eventually going under your dress to play with them hemline of your underwear .... again.

-

The event had ended and you and Alex were now at the after party, even though you hated parties. You were talking to Kelly and Nick, the only thing that would keep you sane at the moment, and you were congratulating Nick on the awards that they had won tonight. "Congratulations, Nick. You all deserve the award so, so much," you said.

"Oh, it's really nothing, but thank you anyways," he said, waving it off. Him and Kelly walked over to Jamie and Katie to talk to them, leaving you alone. You decided to go and find Alex, haven't had seen him in the past thirty minutes, wondering where he was.

You looked around for at least ten minutes, asking anyone you knew where he was, most of them not knowing themselves. You finally found him talking with Miles, who would have thought. The two most amazing friends hanging out together, you should have known.

Alex's back was facing you, so Miles noticed you first. "Oh, hey, love," he said, making Alex turn around. "Hey, Mi. Do you mind if I steal Alex away from you for just a minute?" you said, holding Alex's arm. He shook his head no and got up, leaving you and Alex alone.

"Alex, can we leave?" you asked. He smirked, taking your request the wrong way, thinking that you wanted him now. "You finally came to your senses, I see," he smirked, grabbing you by the waist, kissing your neck while no one was looking. You pushed him away for what felt like the millionth time tonight.

"No, Alex, not like that. I mean that I'm tired and want to go home," you explained. But he of course wouldn't take that as an answer, thought that you were just begging him for him to take you. He kept saying that you weren't tired and just decided that you wanted him, saying that you both could go to the bathroom instead of going home and leaving.

You kept trying to convince him, kept trying to prove that you were tired and you even brought up the fact that you hated parties to try and convince him.

Finally, you convinced him, and he was ready to take you home. "Fine, just let me have a smoke and we'll leave," he said, couldn't believe that you didn't want him. You nodded and stayed seated while he went outside to smoke.

You waited patiently - twenty-two minutes went by and still no Alex. You decided to go and look for him, then head out to the car. You quickly said goodbye to everyone and walked outside, immediately seeing Alex. He was done with his smoke, seemingly waiting for you. "You ready to leave, darling?" he asked, smirking, still not believing that you wanted to go home because you were tired.

"Yes, I am, Al," you said, taking his hand, Alex leading you to the car, opening the door for you, walking around to the other side to get in, starting the car. And finally, after three long hours of his teasing, it was time to leave and go home, and just like before, Alex of course had to tease you to his fullest extent. "Can't believe that you didn't want me earlier," he said, his voice suggestive.

"I always want you, Al, but I'm tired. I'm ready for bed," you said. You were very tired, the amount of interviews Alex was in tonight, the waiting, killed you, the amount of times you had to push Alex's hand away and tell him no, and then the after party that you had practically begged for Alex to take you home. And Alex being, well, Alex, took your begs as requests for him to take you home and fuck you, and you had to convince him that it was because you were tired, which took a lot of convincing that wore you out.

You were glad when you and Alex finally got home, you were ready to go to bed, but Alex had other plans, immediately slamming you against the wall, kissing you deeply. If you were tired before, you surely weren't now, the heat of the kiss waking you up fully from your sleepy state.

He grabbed the underside of your thighs, signaling for you to jump and you did. Alex carried you down the hallway all the way into the bedroom, almost throwing you on the bed. He began to rid you of your clothes, leaving you in just your bra and underwear, kissing you everywhere he could. You tried to unbutton his shirt, but he quickly pushed your hands away, not allowing you to touch him.

Alex leaned down and captured you lips in a hard, passionate kiss, you hands going around his neck, scratching at the fuzz on the back of his neck. He bit you bottom lip, slipping his tongue past your lips, exploring you mouth. You could taste the wine and beer he'd had at the event, as well as the last cigarette he smoked right before you left the after party.

You felt him hard against your leg, his cock straining in his tight trousers. He pulled away from the steamy kiss unexpectedly, starting to crawl down your body, kissing down your neck, collarbone, breasts, stomach, stopping at your abdomen, just above where you needed him, the ache between your legs more prominent than it had been all night long.

He looked up at you, your eyes locking with his. "Alex, please," you begged, desperate for him now.

"Look who's begging for me to fuck you now," he smirked, the cocky tone in his voice obvious. You begged him some more with your eyes, eventually getting exactly what you wanted. He pulled down your underwear with his teeth, and you kicked them off into the floor. Alex nudged your thighs apart with one of his hands and started to kiss up your thighs, stopping when he reached your core, blowing on it, sending shivers up your body.

He waited a moment, and you were about to beg him again, but he quickly dipped his head down, placing wet, sloppy kisses to your heat, using his hands to hold your thighs as far apart they could go.  And then his tongue lapped at your folds, spreading around your arousal.

He moved down to your dripping wet cunt, sticking his tongue inside of you, knowing how crazy it would drive you. You gripped the sheets, balling them up in your fists, needing to have something to hold on to, his hair not nearly long enough for you to do that.

Alex lifted his head up from your heat, wiping his face that was slick with your arousal. "Knew you wanted me. You're so wet, baby," he drawled, looking at the mess he had made of you in barely seven minutes.

He dipped his head back down to your heat again, his hands gripping your thighs tightly, holding them far apart. His tongue kept poking inside of you, and you writhed underneath him, the feeling too good, he was too good.

He moved his mouth back over to your clit, sucking it into his mouth, quickly replacing his tongue with two of his fingers, starting to pump them in and out of you slowly, setting a pace to your dismay. Though the pace wasn't nearly what you wanted, it drove you wild. He'd done this so many times, drove you wild so many times, that he knew exactly how to drive you mad, knew exactly how to make you feel so good.

You started to absent mindly grind your hips on his face, desperate to try and get his fingers to go faster in and out of you and to sink deeper inside of you. Alex chuckled against your skin, vibrations shooting up your body, and he took one of his hands and placed it on your hip to hold you down.

He quickly started to move his fingers faster, your orgasm getting closer and closer. "Alex, I-I'm so close," you said, voice trailing off into a moan as he had pressed down on your clit. He pressed down on your clit harder and with that, you shook, your orgasm washing over you.

You gripped the sheets tighter and wrapped your legs around Alex's head, his hand still on your hips. He kept moving his fingers, and you rode out your high. Alex sat up, removing his fingers from you and you whimpered at the loss of contact. He sat up, wiping his face that was, once again, slick with your arousal. You looked up at him, meeting eyes with him, seeing only lust in them. "How many do you think you can do?" Alex asked, removing his shirt, standing up to remove the rest of his clothes, leaving his bandanna neck scarf, which you didn't think much of at the moment, and you wasted no time before sitting up to help him out of his pants, stroking his cock when you removed his boxers.

He was painfully hard, precum forming on his tip that was a slight reddish purple color. He pushed you back down on the bed, sitting over your hips, straddling you. "I think that I can do th-three - oh," you said, moaning when he pushed your legs apart and pushed himself inside you, his head dropping down on your shoulder, biting down on it, sure to leave a mark.

He gave you very little time to fully adjust, starting to move once he regained some of his composure. He pulled almost all the way out of you before slamming back into you, gripping your hip with one hand, the other one holding himself above you.

Your hands ghosted over his toned chest, stopping at his broad shoulders, gripping onto them tightly, your nails digging into his skin. Alex started moving faster - much, much faster. Your eyes closed automatically, the way his cock stroked your walls felt too good, driving you mad. One of your hands moved up to the back of his head, scratching at the fuzz on his freshly buzzed head.

Your moans got louder as he fucked you harder, faster, and more mercilessly, taking good care of you like he always did. Alex's hand that was on your hip moved to rub vigorously on your clit, thrusting in and out of you faster and faster. Alex delivered a very hard thrust, hitting the spongey spot that made you see stars, flicking your clit, sending you over the edge.

Your eyes rolled back into your head, your grip on his shoulders tightening, so much so that you were sure that you would leave a mark. You rode out your high, Alex's movements not even slowing, but going faster.

Moans fell from your mouth, getting louder and louder. You'd just come down from your second orgasm, you were tired and sore and wore out, and you didn't know how much more you could take. Alex's head dropped down on your shoulder, placing kisses to it, eventually settling on a spot and sucking harshly on it.

You wrapped your legs around his waist, your feet locking at the back, and you started to grind onto him to meet his movements, the pleasure becoming too much for you to handle. A knot started to build up in the pit of your stomach, your third orgasm approaching you faster than the previous two had.

"God, love, you feel so fucking good," Alex grunted, punctuating each word with a hard thrust, flicking your clit along with each thrust. And with that, you shook, your third orgasm washing over you, riding out the intense waves of pleasure. You felt pure euphoria and bliss. You held onto Alex tightly, your legs tightening as your cunt contracted around him, drawing him in, holding him close.

You came down from your orgasm, opening your tightly shut eye, Alex's movements stopping. You untangled your legs and unwrapped your arms from around him, and he pulled out of you, sitting up on his knees, gripping the base of his cock tightly. He was clearly struggling to hold on himself, the sight of you coming undone just enough for him, and the sight could've solely made him come undone.

"Turn around, doll. On all fours," he drawled, motioning for you to turn around. You looked at him, didn't know how much more you could take, thought that you both agreed on three. "A-Alex, I don't know how much more-" you tried to say, but he cut you off.

"You can take it, and you will take it," he said. You hesitantly sat up, turning around. You looked over your shoulder at Alex. He was lining himself up with your entrance; you felt his tip poking inside of you, making you whimper out. "A-Alex."

He smirked and pushed inside you, bottoming out in one swift thrust. His hand soothed down your back, finding its way to your shoulder and he gripped it tightly, starting to thrust almost immediately. You closed your eyes tightly, the feeling already starting to become too good.

You moaned loudly when Alex began to thrust into you hardly, moving his hand from your shoulder to your hair, gripping it. His pace increased gradually, each thrust getting faster and harder. "Yes, fuck, baby, you're so wet for me," Alex groaned, somehow increasing his pace.

"A-Alex ... fuck ... faster," you whimpered, feeling a knot form in the pit of your stomach, your orgasm approaching very, very quickly.

"Givin' orders now, are we?" Alex spat, slowing his pace before slamming back into you hardly.

"I-I'm sorry," you whimpered. Alex moved his hand that was on your hip to your clit, rubbing harshly on it, and his hand that was in your hair moved down to cup your throat, pulling you flat against his chest. Sweat pooled on Alex's chest and forehead. His hand that was on your neck moved around your body to grab your breast, fondling it.

You needed something to hold on to, so your grabbed his arm that was across your front, holding on tightly, your other hand moving to the back of his head, scratching at the fuzz on his nape.

Alex's thrusts got faster and harder, and he rubbed more vigorously on your clit. You were so close, could practically taste your orgasm approaching. Alex thrusted up into you and that was almost enough for you, just one more and you were gone. But before you could, Alex stopped his movements and pulled out of you.

You were confused, had thought that he needed his release just as much as you, so you slowly turned around to face him and you propped yourself up on your elbows. "Alex, w-why'd you stop?" you questioned. He was looking you up and down.

"You was getting way too grabby for me liking," he drawled, crawling back over you. He removed his bandanna from around his neck, grabbing your wrists, bringing them up to the headrest, tying your hands to it with his bandanna. "There, that's better, innit?" he said, sitting up and straddling your hips once again, looking at the sight of you in front of him.

He started to kiss down your body, biting and leaving marks wherever he could. Once he reached your abdomen, he moved down to your heat, placing wet, sloppy kisses to your heat once again. His tongue lapped at your folds, spreading around your arousal. His hands gripped your thighs and you pulled on your restraints, desperate to hold onto something as leverage.

Alex moved down to your entrance, sticking his tongue inside of you, beginning to fuck you with it. One of his hands moved to your abdomen to keep your hips down after you started to grind on his face again, and he started to rub on your clit with his thumb on that hand. He was making you feel so, so good, but then again, when didn't he make you feel amazing?

Your moans got louder as he rubbed on your clit and moved his tongue faster, gripping your thigh tightly with his other hand. Soon he removed his hands from you altogether and moved his tongue back to your folds, pressing down on your clit with it, instead using his fingers to fuck you, moving them in and out of you at an alarmingly fast rate. He never let you get used to a feeling for very long, alternating between pressing down on your clit and moving his fingers quickly to lapping at your folds and slowing his fingers.

As you kept tugging on your restraint, the headrest started to bang against the wall, the noise echoing through the room, filling it along with your moans and whimpers. You instinctively wrapped your legs around Alex's head, drawing him in closer. He chuckled against your skin, send vibrations up your body, tipping you over the edge.

You tugged harshly on your wrists, the waves of pleasure washing over you. You moaned loudly, tightening your legs around Alex's head, crying out his name over and over. "F-fuck, Alex, fuck," you whimpered.

You came down from your high, and you were so sure, positive even, that Alex had had enough and would give you a break, but no, he kept going, moving his fingers and lapping at your folds like nothing had happened. Because to him, nothing did happen, so he just kept on.

He moved his fingers faster, curling and twisting them deep inside of you, making you cry out his name. The feeling of his fingers stroking your walls just right, the feeling of his mouth covering you heat over and over made you feel an indescribable feeling of pleasure. You were absolutely positive that there was a mark on your wrists from Alex's bandanna and were sure that Alex had many various handprints decorating your body which would no doubt last at least a week, maybe even more.

Alex had begun to suck your clit into his mouth, occasionally pressing down on the sensitive bundle of nerves. Alex looked up at you, and your eyes met and he saw just how amazing he was making you feel and he smirked against your skin, and you could feel him do it too. HIs grip on your abdomen had loosened up quite a bit and you started to grind onto his face again, trying get his fingers to sink deeper into you, to get some sort of friction since he ceased all movement of his fingers. Surprisingly, he didn't make you stop, he just let you move your hips freely. allowing you to make yourself feel good on his fingers. Though, in the back of your mind you knew that he wasn't stopping you for a reason, no doubt planning another way to make you come undone for him by his own means, his own rules, and by his own doing.

You were so close, nearly there, just needed to feel him curl his fingers inside of you, which he did while you were moving your hips, one more time. You were just about to let go whenever he stopped, pulling away from your heat, removing his fingers, making you whimper, and he sat up, leaving you barely on the edge, your orgasm so close, but so far away as it began to fade away.

"Wh-what? N-no, no, Alex," you said, your need to let go growing quickly by every passing second, the need to feel him inside you growing as well. "What, doll? What do you need?" Alex asked as he moved over you, his arms keeping him above you.

"I-I need you," you whimpered, Alex's promise of saying that he was going to 'fuck you up' coming true.

"'ow bad do you need me?" he drawled, slowly kissing up your neck, biting down on a spot. You whimpered. "I need you s-so bad, Alex." He chuckled, thinking of something for a moment, quickly giving telling what you needed to do. "You want me, then spit in me mouth," he  said nonchalantly.

You were confused for a moment. You knew that he had a spitting kink, but he never showed any part of it in all the time that you two were together. You took a moment to think about it before you nodded and he opened his mouth and you spat in his mouth. You weren't proud of what you just did, but if it meant that Alex would fuck you, then you didn't care.

"Oh, and one more thing, baby ... you 'ave to promise me that you won't come until I say you can, okay?" Alex said. You nodded, how hard could that be?

He nodded in response before nudging your thighs apart with his hand and you sighed whenever he aligned himself up with your entrance, giving himself a few tugs before pushing inside you, bottoming out in two pushes. His head fell down on your shoulder, reveling in the feeling of your walls contracting around his cock, stretching to accommodate for his size.

Once he regained some sort of control, he pulled almost all the way out of you, slamming back inside you very quickly, starting to set a very, very fast pace. You pulled on your wrists again, hoping that maybe you'd loosened the knot that Alex had tied them in the bandanna with. You wanted your hands free of it, needed to touch him, to hold on to something, only if he would untie you.

His hands were firmly planted in the mattress beside your head, holding him up above you. You closed your eyes tightly, reveling in the way Alex's cock stroked your walls so good, but they quickly opened whenever Alex stopped moving. "Alex?" you asked, searching for his eyes.

"I want you to look at me the entire time, alright?" he said, and you quickly nodded, desperate for him to move again.

Alex started to move again, his eyes never once leaving your own. You tried your best to hold on, trying to fulfill his wish of you not to let go until he said so. But the feeling was getting to be too much for you, the knot forming in your stomach once again. The way he was stroking your oversensitive walls, thrusting into you hardly was enough for you, and you let go, eyes rolling into the back of your head, your walls contracting around Alex's cock, riding out your high.

Your moans filled the room and you came down from your high, opening your eyes. You were sure that Alex wouldn't give you anything else, wouldn't give you what you wanted having done the one thing he said not to do. You were panting heavily now, the feeling too overwhelming, too much for you to handle.

"Done?" he asked, raising his eyebrow at you.

"Yes," you managed to say, avoiding his eyes.

"Good," he said nonchalantly. Alex leaned down to kiss you, it wasn't a deep kiss, but instead it was a soft, slow, and passionate kiss, full of his love and adoration for you. He pulled away and pushed a piece of your hair out of your face, smiling down at you. "You think you can do one more, love?" he asked. You were tired and sore and worn out, having been pushed over the edge several times already and weren't fully sure if you could do one more, even though it was just one. But there was something about the way he asked you, the way he smiled, and you couldn't say no to him, especially with the way he was looking at you right now.

"Y-yeah, I can do one more," you choked out. Alex mumbled something incoherent before starting to move slowly. He knew how sensitive you were now and didn't want to do anything that might cause even the slightest bit of discomfort to you, but still making sure that you felt amazing.

The mood in the room had juristically changed. He was still dominant and had all the control, but he wasn't spitting out demands or teasing you anymore, just focused now on getting the two of you there, wanting you to feel good.

Though he didn't want to cause you discomfort, he did start to increase his pace, not by much, but going faster than before and one of his hands came down in between your bodies to rub light circles in sync with his thrusts on your clit, applying more pressure ever so slightly to it every now and then. He had just restarted his movements and you were already so close to the edge again. It took just one flick of your clit and Alex's cock nudging that spot inside you that had stayed unattended to before and that sent you spiraling.

Your walls contracted around his cock for the last time of the night, drawing him in, triggering his own release. You felt his cock twitch inside of you and you felt his hot release coat your walls as he groaned, the both riding out you highs. You felt pure euphoria and bliss once again as you came down, Alex coming down from his high as well, head falling on your shoulder. He laid on top of you for a few minutes, regaining some of his strength before pulling out of you with a sigh, laying down beside you. You were panting heavily, pulling on your wrists once again. "Alex," you sighed.

He looked at you, saying your name, looking you up and down, starring at your restraints. "Oh, I'll untie you," he said, reaching up and untying your wrists, throwing his scarf on the ground, pulling you close to him even though you were both hot, sweat pooling on Alex's forehead and chest.

"C'mere, me love," he said, holding you tightly. Even though you had come down from your orgasm, you were still panting heavily, trying to breath. "Hey, hey, breath, me love, breath. I've got you," Alex said calmly, rubbing your hair comfortingly.

You both sat there for a minute so that you could catch your breath. once you did catch your breath, you laid your head on Alex's chest. "I love you, Al," you said, looking up at him.

"I love you, too, me love," he said kissing you lovingly. "Are you alright? Did I 'urt you?"

You shook your head. "You could never hurt me, Alex," you said. "But, now I'm really tired and want to sleep, so can we talk in the morning?"

"Yeah, love, we can. Goodnight," Alex responded, pulling the duvet over you two. You told him goodnight and soon fell asleep in his arms, him following not long after you.

[supercorpkid]

Kara’s Earth birthday.

Supercorp, Kara Danvers x Daughter!Reader, Lena Luthor x Daughter!Reader

Word Count: 2540.

“Oh, what you hiding in there?” You ask, coming from behind Lena and she jumps in fear. You chuckle at her reaction.

“Shhh, be quiet.” Lena says, shushing you with her finger. “I’m hiding Kara’s gift.”

“Oh! Momma’s birthday is coming up, you’re right.” You throw yourself in their bed, watching Lena carefully lock the lead box you gave her for Mother’s Day. “What are we doing for her?”

“I don’t know, baby. You’re not Superkid anymore so we can’t pick up her favorite foods from another countries, so maybe we just get potstickers and invite the Olsens.” Lena answers, still not paying attention to you, while she puts the box away. You breathe deep thinking about it.

“I could go.”

She looks back at you, looking confused. “No, my love. You don’t have to do anything you’re not comfortable with just because it’s Kara’s birthday.”

“One: yes, I do. And two: it’s ok. I’m not uncomfortable with it at all.” You shrug. “It’s just flying, then landing in China and buying things from her favorite restaurant there. I don’t even need my suit.”

“Oh, you also don’t have your suit.” Lena says, moving to her closet and coming back with a box in hands. “Remember I burned it when I was you?”

“I do remember. Did I ground you for it, young lady?” You joke, making Lena roll her eyes at you.

“Here’s the new one.” She hands you the box and you open to see the House of El crest staring at you in its golden glory. You breathe deep.

“You know what? Just keep it.” You give her the box back. “It was here with you, anyway. I’m sure you’ll take better care now that you don’t have to wear it anymore.”

“Yeah?” Lena asks, unsure. You agree with your head.

“I’ll ask if I need it.” You watch Lena getting up and going back to the closet. You lower your glasses to see where she is keeping it, memorizing the shelf she put in. You adjust your glasses back on your face before she comes back into the room. “So-” You say when she shows up. “I’ll get the food. And I’ll make a gift for her in the lab. You already got her a gift, and we have the dinner planned.”

Lena smiles, agreeing.

“Doesn’t it all seem a little…” You think about it. “Basic?”

“Basic?”

“Yeah, I mean, isn’t it the same thing we do every year? Shouldn’t we try something different? Like, a surprise party?”

“A surprise party?” Lena parrots you. “For Kara?” You nod. “I think you’re forgetting we’ve tried that for years and we can never surprise her. She has super hearing and x-ray vision, baby. It’s like setting ourselves up for failure.”

“Ok, but what if we do it somewhere she can’t see through? Like the DEO. Or-or my lab!”

“You wanna throw a party in your lab?”

“I just want to try something different this year. Honestly, don’t you feel like this year we’ve been through all kinds of weird, miserable, fucked up things-”

“Language!”

“Sorry, but there isn’t any other word good enough to describe it.” You can see that your mom is agreeing with you. “For some reason I feel like this year we should be thankful we’re still alive and well and together.”

“You’re right.” She cups your face with a sad little smile. “We’ve been through so much; your momma deserves a really nice party with everyone here to celebrate.”

“Who’s everyone?”

“You know, everyone everyone.”

“Mom, everyone everyone who? We know like ten people.”

“Don’t worry about it. Just worry about the food, and straighten up your lab, so it looks less like a lab, and more like a place we could actually throw a party.” You see Lena’s eyes tinkling and you don’t even ask about it. You already have a long list of things to do. Gift, food, organizing the lab. You’ll need some help.

You go to your lab, you need to think of something to give her as a gift, and you only have two days to figure it out. It’s too short notice. Why the hell weren’t you thinking about this before?

You sit in your lab and think and think. What can you give Kara? You sit on the chair, on the floor, on the table. You lay in it, roll to one side, then to the other. You pace around the lab. You leave really quickly to buy some snacks and look for inspiration on the street. Then you go back to the lab. What can you give her? You play on your phone. Text your cousin -she doesn’t reply because she is at school-. You go see your mom upstairs -she is in a meeting and can’t talk-. You spend half an hour talking to Aly and distracting her from her receptionist job. You go back to the lab, lay on the floor and stare at the ceiling. Your entire day is a waste. You can’t think of a single thing to make and give to Kara.

The next day you ask Jamie’s help, when she leaves school, to make your lab more presentable. She has a lot of ideas. Some are very inflammable to do in a lab -honestly, most of them are-, but some are actually nice, and when you two are done your lab looks like someplace else.

“Can you move this table?” Jamie looks at your worktable in the middle of the room. “I mean, you probably can right?”

“I-yes, Jamie, I probably can.” You smirk, picking it up more than a thousand pounds with one hand and moving to the side.

“You know, that’s something I never get tired of watching.”

You think about how many times you’ve seen Kara with one couch in one hand, her phone on the other, while Lena vacuums under it. How do the rest of the world clean under heavy furniture? You don’t even know.

“Ok. How about now?” You ask looking around and Jamie agrees with a smile.

“It’s perfect.”

“Great! Now I just have to think about something I can make or buy for her.”

“Well, I can’t help with that.” Jamie says, grabbing her stuff and making her way out your lab. You follow her closely behind. “I had one idea and it was a little notebook that she can use for work.”

“That’s actually quite clever.” You grunt, frustrated.

“Don’t sound so surprised.”

Why can’t you think of something to give to your momma? It used to be so easy and now you can’t think of anything for the life of you. It’s so disappointing. You know that Kara won’t care about what you give her, but why on Earth is it so hard?

“Hey.” Kara knocks on your door, late at night. You look at your alarm clock, confused. It’s too late. “Heard you were still up.”

“Oh. Come in.” You say and you don’t have to call twice to Kara throw her body next to yours, flopping on her belly.

“You seemed distracted today. I wanted to check if you’re alright.” She slings her arm around your ribcage, and you smile to yourself. Rao, this woman deserves the entire universe. There’s nothing you could make that would be good enough for her. You kiss the crown of her head.

“I love you.”

“Oh.” Kara says, raising her head to look at you. “I love you too, babyface.” But she raises an eyebrow right after. “Is that all?”

“Mhm.” You smile. “I’m alright. You?”

Kara’s eyebrows pinch together, and you see her crinkle showing. You ease it up with your thumb.

“No need to worry. I’m actually fine.”

“My face betrays me.” She says with a laugh. “Gonna get botox for that.”

“No. You look perfect as you are, momma.” You cup her face, and she smiles, kissing your hand in return.

“Ok, I’m gonna let you sleep, then. Have a goodnight, kid.”

The very next day is the day of the party. You make some adjustments here and there. And wait for Lena to say its time.

“Hey!” Lena enters your lab with a big cake in hands. “The place looks great!”

“I know, right? Jamie had a bunch of cool ideas.”

“Your momma’s going to love it.” She places the cake on the table. “Ok, time to fly to China for the food. Here.” She gives you her credit card. “I’ll wait for the guests and when we’re all here, we’ll get her to come.”

“Ok, cool.” You look at the list of things to buy, and Lena’s card. It’s a lot of food. You wonder how many people she has invited.

When you come back, balancing all the food she’s asked for, your lab is already filled with guests, with portals opening, bringing more people in.

“Hey Superkid!” Barry says, coming from the portal with wife, kids, Caitlin Snow, Cisco, and a bunch of other people right behind him.

“Hey!” You try to wave without dropping the food, which is hard.

“Here, kiddo, let me help.” Alex shows up next to you. She grabs a few bags and helps you set up the table. “Nice party.”

“Thanks. Jamie actually helped decorate.” You say, and you hear Jamie’s voice right behind you.

“It would’ve been nicer if you had let me bring sparkles.”

“So we could burn this place down? No, thanks.” You answer and watch Superman walking in with his family following him closely by. “Hi, Kal!” And not far behind, you see Eliza. “Oh! Gramm! You came!”

“I sure did!” She opens her arms, and you walk into her embrace. “Look at you! You’re so tall now! You look exactly like your momma.”

“Speaking of her-” You hear Lena’s voice. “Seems like everyone is here already. Oh wait, here comes Nia and Brainy. Alex? Is J’onn and M’gann coming?”

“On their way!”

“When they get here, you call your momma ok?” Lena moves away from you, and you agree with your head. You look around again. There are too many people in your lab, you didn’t even know you all knew this many people, let alone that you could gather all of them in one place.

“We’re here! Sorry, sorry!” J’onn says walking in, and you look at Lena who nods at your phone.

You: Hey! You busy?

Momma: Going home, why baby?

You: I need help with something here in my lab. Can you come over? I have donuts🍩🍩🍩

Momma: DONUTS! Say no more!

“Guys, she’s coming!”

Everyone stops talking, and Lena comes at you with the cake. You look at it with a smile on your face, you still can’t believe she made a cake that looks like a potsticker. Your momma will freak.

“Little one?” You hear Kara from the other side of the door.

“Yeah! Come in!” You watch Kara opening the door and getting startled when everyone yells.

“SURPRISE!”

“What! You did not just surprise me! That’s so cool!” Kara comes closer with the biggest smile you have ever seen. “Awww, look at all of this! OH MY GOD, THE CAKE! LOOK AT THE CAKE!”

“Go ahead, blow it out.” Lena says.

“Gently.” Alex adds, making you chuckle at the thought.

“Make a wish.” You suggest right after.

“What else can I wish for?” Kara says with a soft smile, and your cheeks burn red. She blows out the candles, and it doesn’t take long for the party to actually start.

She goes around saying ‘hello’ and ‘thank you’ to everyone, and you sit in a corner with Jamie to eat. Gramm joins right after and it’s great to see her for a while.

It’s really late at night when the portals start to open, people start to leave, and there’s no one left in your lab but your aunts, Gramm, Jamie and moms. They help you clean up the whole thing and soon enough they’re giving Kara their gifts.

You feel embarrassed that you don’t have anything to give her, so you slip out of the lab, praying she doesn’t notice your lack of gift for her.

“Hey, where are you going, kid?” Kara pulls you in, looking at you fondly.

You shrug and look down. How do you tell her you couldn’t think of a single present to give her?

“What’s that about?”

“I didn’t get you anything.” You breathe out.

“You didn’t-” Kara laughs. “Really? So a surprise party is nothing? And flying to another country to pick up my favorite foods doesn’t count?” You raise your eyes to finally look at her. “Why would you give me something else besides this whole thing?”

“I just-” You shrug again, cheeks burning with shame. She doesn’t push you any further, but she also doesn’t let go. Kara just looks at you, waiting for you to give her something. “Made all these big plans, because I wanted the day to be extra special.”

“And why is that kid?” She asks, and you bite your lip. “You know, I’m very happy with the party, and with the fact that I got to see everyone. But I would also be very happy if it was just you, Lena and me, and a little cupcake.” Kara says cupping your face. “Why did today have to be so special?”

“Because-” She raises her eyebrow encouraging you. “We had a difficult year, and I know that it was my fault.”

“What? Of course it was not your fault!”

“Momma, I almost died a few times, I went to three different realities, I was mind controlled, couldn’t get up from bed-”

“Ok, let me stop you right there.” Kara’s face becomes very serious. “You were kidnapped three times. You got tricked by an imp, which, by the way, I’ve been too. You were literally mind controlled by a villain. How-how can you say this is your fault?” You open your mouth. “How can I possibly think that it is your fault that you couldn’t get up from bed, when all of this has happened to you in less than a year, little one?”

You breathe out. You don’t know what to tell her.

“Yes, you’re right. It’s been a difficult year for the three of us. But what about meeting Maya, and everyone you met when you went to different realities? What about all the laughter, hugs, and kisses and the love we shared this year? Hm? Didn’t that make this year a little enjoyable?” Kara asks and you agree with your head. “I don’t need a huge party, the biggest cake you can buy, or any of this to make me happy. You know what I need?”

“Me?” You ask with a little smile, and she smiles widely at you.

“Yes, my heart. I need you.” Kara pulls you in for a hug and a forehead kiss. “And your mom too. Trust me, the fact that you’re both here in this universe with me, makes coming to Earth the best thing that has ever happened in my life.”

You smile, feeling less heavy.

“I love you, momma.” You kiss her forehead. “Happy Earth birthday. I’m glad you ended up here.”

“Me too, kid. Me too.”

[masterthespianduchovny]

I’m going to be honest before I get to the Sam/Rebecca subplot: if they drop plots threads indicating that this continue into the next season and uplift this pairing, I’m out.

This storyline is gross and I can see why some people quit the show when the revealed happened.

When I say I’m repulsed by age gap relationships of this nature, this isn’t a shipping thing or a race thing. This is a moral and ethical thing. Because it’s not just an age gap, it’s also that Rebecca is Sam’s boss. I legitimately don’t see how people can overlook this and ship how “cute” this is. I’m not judging anyone, it just genuinely doesn’t make sense to me.

And for people who think I’m a hypocrite, Ted/Rebecca is not the same. Sam and Rebecca is like a principal dating a student. If you want to age Sam up, because people love to accuse others of infantilizing Sam, it’s like the president of a college dating a student. In both cases, there would be backlash, and have been, to these types of relationships.

Which would make Ted’s position that of a teacher/professor or someone higher. In most cases, there aren’t objections, however, both parties have to be transparent about their relationship and careful about how and if that influences their professional relationship with each other and others.

Last week, I mentioned a friend of mine who was 18 and dated someone who was 28. Both are white for reference. When I found out their ages and respective positions, I became concerned and doubly concerned.

Oh, they had chemistry and he made her so happy, but he was also controlling as fuck and emotionally abusive. During the duration of their relationship, he became her boss and would monitor her interactions via cameras in the back office. She was stressed out as fuck and would go to the bathroom to cry. You know, where cameras weren’t and where he couldn’t enter.

And it was a secret relationship because he could get in trouble. I didn’t say anything because she was with her boyfriend before she knew me. Me telling someone could’ve gotten him in trouble or fired, but that wouldn’t have ended the relationship. It would’ve made her end our friendship and cling closer to him. Instead, after I quit for other reasons, I sporadically checked on her to see how she was doing and give her advice and resources.

As far as the actual episode itself goes, I struggled to enjoy it due to the Sam/Rebecca situation. It should’ve ended at dinner at most.

The only emotional beat that landed, imo, was Jamie and Roy’s hug. I do think Ted’s confession was strong, but the flow was kinda weird for me. By itself it works.

Two things working for me that wasn’t at the forefront of the episode was 1. How Ted’s problem is fucking over the team. 2. That Nate is in over his head.

Even if AFC Richmond had lost with Ted being in his A game, it wouldn’t have been that made and the team would’ve been more competitive. They were sloppy and making baffling errors. Their head was not in the game and it showed. Man City wasn’t that good, Richmond was just that ill prepared.

And who led training?

Nate.

Nate has great instincts, but he isn’t ready to lead a team and he still has a lot of work to do before growing into coaching a team as head coach.

But let me stress, this falls completely on Ted and even Beard to an extent. Yes, Ted is having emotional issues, however, many people rely on him and he wasn’t there. I don’t mean literally because teams should be able to function without their head coach for stretches of time. He hasn’t been there mentally and emotionally for most of the season. Because AFC Richmond’s competition isn’t as premier as Man City, it’s easier to appear more dominant that you are, esp if you’re coach isn’t on his A game. However, when you’re up against actual Goliath’s in the league, you’ll get your ass handed to you like Richmond did.

As I mentioned earlier, if they do go through with supporting and uplifting Sam/Rebecca, my time with this fandom ends with the season 2 finale.

But if we take Ted’s dark forest into consideration, there is another way this could play out. Actually many.

The one I can see happening that can get her somewhat redeemed, because some will never get over this happening in the first place, is her hitting rock bottom via her relationship with Sam. Something will happen or make her have unflattering thoughts about herself and her actions that will drive her into a tailspin.

And I’m unsure if it’ll be just a personal crisis or if it’ll also be a professional crisis.

Some may disagree with me, but I do want this affair to come to light. Because if it doesn’t, it sets up this fucked up precedent that Rebecca can do fucked up shit and get away with it in private.

Rebecca fucked over her club, uprooted a man’s life in bad faith, and almost ruined several people’s careers due to her bullshit in the first season. The fact that she didn’t have to answer for any of this is a God damn mercy on Ted’s part even though she didn’t ask for it.

Now for her to date/fuck a player because “she just has to know.” Because she doesn’t want to let something pass her by?

Yeah…no.

Rebecca’s fear of loneliness is leading her to make very bad decisions and I fear what this means for Sam’s career and relationships if this breaks. There were people who allegedly care for Sam, yet cheered for this relationship to happen. What do you think happens with his locker room relationships? I’ve already explained in another post that either this sours those relationships OR they want favors from him because he’s dating/fucking the boss.

He’ll get crucified in the media. He may even have trouble getting employed. Why? Because that’s how racism works.

“But, masterthespianduchovny, if Sam may receive hate and racist acts committed against him, why do you want the affair exposed?”

Because this shit show of a relationship isn’t about just Sam. It’s about Rebecca’s fear of loneliness leading her to make bad decisions that effects everyone not just her and Sam. It’s the fact that a white woman isn’t thinking about how her actions could have major consequences for a young black man.

Rebecca is so obsessed with not being lonely and being loved that 1. She never sought help or productive ways to deal with the fall out and humiliation of her marriage. 2. She dated a man because he was “fine” and not because she was actually invested in him and the relationship 3. She’s getting involved with a player on her team without thinking of any of the consequences. 4. She’s not considering the other players, the coaches, or anyone else she’s responsible for.

Oh, and considering we got that call from Sam’s dad…his relationship with his father will most likely suffer as a result. AND now that Dubai Air thing looks suspect, esp because she was talking to him around that time unknowingly.

Oop! And isn’t she getting her relationship with Nora back on track? Even though Nora and Sam can’t legally date and I’m not saying every decision should be swayed by a teenage girl, however, Rebecca is literally sabotaging every relationship just because she’s afraid of being alone (I agree with another poster who said we really didn’t need to explore this storyline, but alas…)

Although Ted forgave Rebecca for her scheming in season one, I honestly don’t think he’d be so forgiving for this. It’s his job to protect players and look out for their well being and how can he one his boss is involved with one of his players, which again, affects others players. This relationship has major consequences for other people who are not in it.

Also, Sam…for someone who people love to say is mature enough to date an older woman, not once did even be consider the ramifications of getting involved with the boss.

Not once.

And that looks bad because a mature person his age would be mindful of such a thing. This isn’t considered or, at least, isn’t said onscreen. Sam os either thinking with his dick, his heart, or both, but he isn’t thinking with his head. Because there is no way you’re thinking with your head and don’t stop to say, “hey, this thing could jeopardize my relationship with my teammates and the other people I work with. Maybe I should think some more of this before pursuing a relationship with my boss.” Sam was all in from the moment he decided he wanted to have dinner with Rebecca. There was no thinking on his end.

But Sam’s super mature, right?

Another poster mentioned that there might be a screaming match between Rebecca and ted and I’m so here for that. No, I don’t think this argument will be romantic. They’ll have legitimate gripes with each other, but yeah…this is an argument that needs to happen. Which will most likely be before Rebecca gets help.

That’s all assuming this happens. Like I said, they could have Sam and Rebecca being a power couple (🤮), or handle this some other way. But if this is going to be framed as a good thing, others can enjoy it, but the show will have one less viewer from me.

[chainofclovers]

Ted Lasso 2x3 thoughts

Brendan Hunt confirmed on Twitter that the writers wrote the first three episodes of the season with the intention of releasing them on the same day, just as they dropped the first three episodes of season one on the same day. Having finally watched the first three over three different weeks, I really wish they’d been able to launch all three on the same day. I really liked the first two episodes of the season, but the third episode really puts a lot of things into context. Between the political storyline, the return of Sassy (and a bit of a level-setting conversation between Sassy, Rebecca, and Ted) and Rebecca’s navigation of her professional life as an all-in club owner and her experience reconnecting to Nora...all of that feels like we’re done setting up the season now. Exposition complete—and to the writers’ credit, all three of these episodes are far more than exposition. A lot of story has happened.

So much so that this week’s installment has categories.

Sassy and Ted and Rebecca

Hahahahahahahahahaha

No, seriously though, I love that they are mature adults about this and I also love that Ted is Uncomfortable and, to be perfectly honest, I like that Sassy’s aggressive unfilteredness becomes an opportunity for the show to venture into more sexual references and humor about characters other than Keeley and Roy. It was a lot of information!

I’ve seen a couple of people express disappointment that Ted seems weirded out by Sassy discussing Nora’s impending first period, but I didn’t get the impression that he was grossed out by periods. There is a lot going on! Nora is right outside the room with the door open and Sassy has run through a lot of very personal topics! I felt like his reaction was more about the proximity issue in specific and the personal nature of the conversation in general more than anything else.

So many thoughts about the intersection between the biscuits and this conversation that it had to go in its own post.

Nora!

I LOVE Nora. I want every episode of this show to be about her. I want this sitcom to be called Nora Collins.

I love that Nora’s a little bit sassy (pun on her mother’s nickname only lazily intended) in the way a thirteen-year-old can be, but also enthusiastic about spending time with Rebecca and genuinely interested in meeting everyone her godmother knows. Rebecca genuinely hurt Nora, but Nora can clearly see that Rebecca is all-in on their mended relationship, and that gives her the space to be a bit teasing. She knows Rebecca’s weaknesses and has a little fun (the cooking joke when Rebecca offers to make popcorn?!) but also isn’t going to manipulate her or take advantage.

The British doll company and all the riffs on American Girl dolls, OMG. So good.

Like literally everyone, I am extremely into Rebecca and Roy actually being friends and exchanging words with each other this season. Now everyone in the group of four mains have had some great conversational moments with each other this season (I count Ted and Keeley being into Sharon’s bike as a great conversational moment, OK?!), with the exception of Roy and Ted. Cannot wait for that.

During the photo op with the team, Sassy and Rebecca remark on how Nora is loving and hating having her picture taken with Sam and the rest of the players, and that is THE experience of being thirteen years old, and Kiki May does an incredible job infusing all of Nora’s moments with the right proportions of enthusiasm to cringe. Thirteen years olds are constantly cringing but still full of spirit and life, and at constantly changing ratios, and Nora is the perfect embodiment of that.

My heart melted during the email-writing scene. Rebecca’s writing the email on Nora’s computer! In the guest room where her goddaughter is staying! They’re wearing pajamas! And Rebecca’s smile is so genuinely huge and delighted when she signs it “boss ass bitch.”

Led Tasso and Jamie’s Redemption

This was so stupid and I loved it so much. I love that Ted’s angry alter ego is absurd rather than scary, kind of like a parody of how worked up some men get over sports. I wonder if Led Tasso’s appearance in some way foreshadows a more uncontrolled, genuine anger from Ted in a later episode, because this Led Tasso dude is ridiculous.

Tentative kudos to Led Tasso for being able to point out the, ahem, clit of the soccer ball even from within a fugue state.

The entire Chuck E. Cheese exchange with Sharon was so hilarious and wonderful.

When Ted has the idea to bring out Led Tasso, Nate assumes he’s going to suggest that Jamie talk to Sharon. I absolutely adore the implication that Jamie’s growth over this episode is attributable to both Led Tasso and Sharon Fieldstone. Because while some players are still unmoved by Jamie’s willingness to stand up to Led, it didn’t go unnoticed! And then I was so proud of Keeley for refusing to take on the emotional labor of listening to Jamie when she was too busy with her actual job, and I felt that Jamie’s pretty immediate willingness to see what the therapy thing was all about was extremely in line with his character. He’s always seeking out Keeley to talk, and sometimes he actually means “talking” when he asks to talk with her! Jamie feels like someone who’s standing at a wall of doors, knocking on each one, trying to see what sticks. He really lacks foundation. I’m curious to know what he and Sharon spoke about in their session, but I like that the writers left the session private. The knowledge that he’s started seeing a psychologist is valuable information in and of itself, and Jamie’s decision to act in solidarity with Sam and the other Nigerian players is the perfect evidence that he’s thinking in new ways.

Sam and Dubai Air

Toheeb Jimoh is always great, but he’s so great in this episode. It’s cool to see his demeanor, pacing, and confidence shift as he becomes more at home with the team—and it’s also lovely to see that he, unlike Jamie, very much has a strong foundation in his home country, his supportive parents, his own moral center.

I like that Sam didn’t spend a bunch of time and emotional labor on teaching Jamie why caring about other people (and the environment!) matters, because that would’ve undercut the other political messages in this episode. Sam’s leading by example and everyone can either catch up or stay out, and it’s really great.

I really like the way they handled the press conference with Ted and Sam. I like that Ted gave the floor to Sam but prefaced that with very brief (for once!) remarks of his own. And I appreciated that Ted acknowledged his position of privilege, and that the angle isn’t that bad things never happen to white dudes but rather that when bad things do happen to people like Ted, it gets attention with so much less effort than when bad things happen to people who aren’t white men. Because that’s how privilege works—it’s not a shield that prevents bad things from happening to you, but it’s a safety net that ensures people will notice and address and even pitch in to take care of your bad things, often at the expense of the people who lack that privilege.

There’s probably lots of other stuff I could talk about, like the hilariously and realistically bad usernames on Bantr and Keeley brushing her snacks off the desk and into her purse and how things between Beard and Jane are clearly very, very bad and I’m worried about Beard and how it was soooo fun and lovely to see Shannon teasing Ted again (little coffee and football rituals before work are the kinds of details I absolutely live for) and HIGGINS PRETENDING REBECCA SENT HIM A BRILLIANT AND HEROIC EMAIL (which she does for real with Nora’s help just a couple scenes later!) and how delighted I was to feel that by this episode this season has really hit its stride and feels like a fully lived-in portrayal of the energized, loving, imperfect, busy, full place that is the whole AFC Richmond community. Honestly, Higgins pretending Rebecca sent that email because he wants to make her look good in front of her granddaughter is kind of the perfect encapsulation of what this episode felt like. This is a show about a bunch of imperfect people who want each other to succeed.

Edited to add: I was delighted to find out Ashley Nicole Black was writing for the show and the writing here did the opposite of disappoint! ❤️

[dameronology]

the story of us {poe dameron}

for @unstoppableforcce​ for the v.day fix exchange (organised by the lovely @sergeantkane​!) i hope you enjoy❤️

warnings: probably a few swear words, but other than that, it’s all g 

- jamie 

The galaxy didn’t stop for anything. Not even Valentine’s Day

And it sucked. It really sucked. Not because you and Poe ever went all out (who had the time?) but because it was one day that you should have spent together and you were both busy. It wasn’t his fault, nor was it yours. The Resistance was more demanding than ever and you both had to prioritise fighting the good fight. If you didn’t, neither of you would have had much of a galaxy to live in, let alone be together in. Despite that, Poe always made a point of reminding you how much he loved you on every regular day - it was more so in the things he did for you, like bringing you your favourite coffee every morning and leaving you little notes on the mirror in the refresher. 

Unbeknownst to you, however, he had a few things up his sleeve (in typical Dameron fashion). It had started in the morning when you’d woken up to find a picture of the two of you stuck to the mirror. It was one that Finn had taken not long before you’d begun dating; you’d both been tired from a mission, and he’d come to the mess hall to find you and Poe passed out on another. You were slumped against him, his arm strewn across your shoulder and both your mouths hanging open. Even though you hadn’t quite woken up properly, you couldn’t help but grin at the picture - even more so when you saw what was written on the back. 

Four years ago: the day I realised I liked you a lot more than I should have. 

You tucked the photo into the pocket of your jeans, barely able to hide your smile as you headed to work. 

The base itself had been decorated for the day - Leia’s doing, probably - with love heart banners strewn across the walls and colourful glitter poured in random places. You’d learnt about the latter apart when Rey had activated her lightsaber, only to get blasted in the face with a mouthful of pink and red hearts. Your joy, however, had been short lived when you’d realised that it was all over your shared office. How much did you want to bet that you’d still be finding it in the crevices of your desk next year? 

‘A wonderful start to the day.’ Rey muttered, dumping the laser sword onto the table. 

‘I am not cleaning that up.’ You teased. 

When you took a seat at your desk, you noticed another photo stuck to the monitor of your holopad. It was from a trip you and Poe had taken to Yavin-4 as friends. Everyone at the time had called bullshit on that part, and you both knew it too. It was at the end of said trip that he’d confessed his feelings for you, and you’d had your first kiss under the moonlight in the backyard of his childhood home. It sounded very romantic, but not moments later, there had been a clap of thunder and the heavens had opened on you. The picture was of you and him wrapped in a blanket by the fire, both drenched to the bone as you shivered together. Kes had taken the picture when neither of you were looking, and he’d managed to catch Poe peering down at you, brown eyes filled with adoration. It was definitely one of your favourite photos together. 

Peeling it off the monitor, you flipped it around to look at the message on the back. 

Three years and eight months ago: the day I realised I loved you (even though I didn’t say it for like...another six months. Thanks for being patient). 

‘Everything okay?’ Rey asked.

‘Yeah.’ You glanced up at her, forcing a smile. ‘Just kinda bummed that Poe’s been called out all day.’ 

‘I’m sorry.’ She placed a hand on your shoulder. ‘If it’s any comfort, I saw him sneaking around the base with armfuls of photos of you earlier.’ 

‘Sneaking?’ You snorted.

‘Okay, trying to sneak.’ 

‘Poe Dameron is a lot of things, but subtle is not one of them.’ You grinned.

The statement rung completely true: his inability to not get excited about everything and tell everyone about whatever his plans were meant that the entire base knew about his surprises before you did. When he’d proposed to you, he’d sworn to himself that he was only going to tell Finn in advance. Then, Poe had told Rey too in a moment of joy, and then Kare, and then Snap, and then Leia and before he knew it, he’d had to spend the entire day running around the place, making them promise to keep schtum. By some miracle, the message didn’t get back to you, and the whole thing did end up being a surprise. 

In fact, the third photo - one you’d found in your desk drawer - was from that day. Poe had tried to take a selfie with you, only for you to kiss him just as the camera went off. Your hand was resting on the side of his cheek, Shara’s ring glinting under the flash of the camera. The picture had been his holopad background ever since, and the message on the back was almost enough to made you cry. 

Two years ago: the day you promised to be with me forever, even though I’m a pain in the ass 

You found the fourth photo in one of your files, not long after your lunch break. It was paperwork from a mission that you’d been filing the night before, so he must have snuck it in whilst you were still asleep. It lead you to wonder how long he’d been planning the whole thing for - knowing him, it was probably months. He managed to pull something so sweet and so personal off each year, and this was probably your favourite one so far. The fact he’d managed to do something so thoughtful and so kind without even being there was a testament to Poe Dameron himself. 

The photo that fell out of your paperwork was from just over a year ago. It was one of you, Rey, Finn and Poe in one of your favourite cantinas. It had been after a successful mission, and the drinks were flowing all night, smiles hardly faltering until you all fell asleep. You were sat on Poe’s lap, his arms looped around your front and his head resting on your shoulder. The night was a little blurry - too much beer, perhaps - and you couldn’t even remember who had taken it. Either way, it was still one of your favourites, because it was your entire world contained to one single photo. The message on the back was just as Poe as the last three. 

Thirteen months ago: the day I realised I was with the greatest people in the galaxy (you take top spot, but Finn and Rey are pretty cool too) 

The rest of the ones that you found through out the day were all throwbacks to other important moments in your relationship. There was one of you in his hoodie, titled the day I realised you looked better in my clothes than I do and another of the two of you fixing his X-Wing, labelled the day I realised you know nothing about X-Wings. Both of your faces were smeared with grease, and you were in fits of giggles together about something. You hadn’t realised how lucky you were to have friends that enjoyed taking pictures. 

By the time dinner rolled around, you’d collected about twenty photos. The fact that you hadn’t seen Poe yet completely sucked, but his little stunt had kept you smiling all day. Even if he wasn’t with you physically, you knew he was thinking about you. Hell, he was always thinking about you, not just exclusively today. His ability to bring you up in every conversation and namedrop you to anyone who would listen was testament to that. 

As the day passed and the sky dimmed, you retired to your desk with some caff from the mess-hall and a pile of papers. Rey had long disappeared to do...Jedi stuff? Whatever the hell that deemed, you weren’t sure. It meant that you were left alone in the office, glancing between your files and the pile of photos you’d accumulated throughout the day with a soft smile. Your holopad occasionally beeped with messages, but it wasn’t until you heard Poe’s specified notification sound that you finally pushes aside your work to check them. 

Meet me in the hangar - bring the photos.

You grinned at the message - finally. 

Grabbing your jacket - actually, it was Poe’s - and tossing it over your shoulders, you flicked the lights in your office off and headed for the hangar. The hallways were pretty much empty by then; everybody else was either having dinner or spending the evening with their respective significant other.  It meant that you could easily sprint to where you needed to be, without having to worry about crashing into anyone or being reprimanded by a stingy commander. 

You met Poe halfway across the room, bodies colliding together as he wrapped his arms around you and lifted you in the air. He spun you around for a moment, before placing you firmly on the ground and crashing his lips onto yours. They were warm and soft and so familiar, a welcome contrast from the pain you’d been feeling all day from missing him. The little collection of photos had only reminded you of how much he meant to you (everything) and made the yearning even stronger. His grip on you barely faltered as he pulled away, pausing to admire you for a moment.

‘Happy Valentine’s day, baby.’ Poe grinned. 

‘Right back at you.’ You pressed a kiss to his jaw. ‘Is there a particular reason that we’re in the hangar?’

‘We’re going somewhere.’ His smile only grew wider. 

‘Aaaand where might that be?’ You quirked an eyebrow. 

‘It’s a surprise.’ He flung an arm around your shoulders, leading you towards the ships. ‘I know it’s a little late, but I spent most the afternoon begging the General to let me use the Falcon.’ 

‘How’d that go?’

‘Dreadfully.’ Poe snorted, pulling you closer into his side. ‘But she said yes.’

‘You’re kidding?’ 

You’d only been on the Millenium Falcon a few times, but it was hands down your favourite ship. There was so much history behind it - not just between you and Poe, but for the Resistance the Rebellion in general. You dreaded to think how much grovelling your husband had done on your behalf to make Leia agree to let the two of you borrow it, but it wasn’t something you were going to complain about. It was far better than being cramped into the one-person cockpit of his X-Wing; that was something you’d done many, many times and you always ended up with a back-ache. 

‘Am I allowed even a clue?’ You asked, following him up the ramp and into the ship.

‘You do know what a surprise is, right?’ Poe teased, leading you through the galley. 

You rolled your eyes, shaking your head with a smile. ‘You’re normally terrible at them.’

‘I think I pulled off today’s pretty well.’ He grinned at you. 

You both took a seat in the cockpit. Your eyes lingered on the dice hanging up by the window for a moment -- even though Leia had originally kept them on her person, she ended up returning them to the ship for safe-keeping and good luck. Your heart always stung a little when you looked at them, just because you knew the history behind them. They held the same sort of sentiment of the ring on your finger and all the photos you’d collected today: memories. Years and years of memories, some filled with love, and some bittersweet ones. You knew, however, that your story was going to have a happier ending. 

---

Poe didn’t fly for too long -- maybe forty five, fifty minutes. 

You’d spent most of the journey chatting about everything and nothing, as you often did. You gelled so well together that you could easily spend hours talking, and completely forget about the world around you. It was one of the things you loved about Poe, especially when there were times that you needed to forget your surroundings. He was always an escape, and in the best way possible. A reminder that, even though the galaxy could be dark, there was always good. He went out of his way to remind you to be hopeful, and to fight for the best. And, more often that not, he would reference the two of you finding each other in the Resistance as an example of it. 

‘Are you gonna tell me where we are now?’ You asked. 

‘Nope.’ Poe replied. ‘C’mon. It’s not too far of a walk.’

His arm returned to your shoulders as you exited the jet, boots met with wet ground - sand. 

Not just the sand, but the beach. 

The smell of sea salt hung in the air, clearing your senses of the stuffy, recycled air that surrounded the base. It was clear and crisp, hitting your skin with a welcomed iciness. You could hear the sound of the ocean in the distance, slowly to-and-froing, crashing against the land with a gentle whoosh, almost as if it were greeting you. 

‘C’mon.’ 

Poe suddenly grabbed you from behind, lifting you up in the air and catching your legs before they could hit the ground. He had one arm tucked under yours and the other under your knees, carrying with ease through the jungle and towards the sound of the sea. He held you close to his chest, brown eyes concentrating on the ground ahead of you so that he didn’t trip. He was always beautiful, but even more so under the moon-light of the evening, casting a silver glow over the two of you as he broke through the trees and out onto the plains of the sand, 

‘D’you know where we are now?’ He gently asked, placing you on the ground. His arm returned to your side, snaking around your waist and pulling you back towards him. 

‘Yeah.’ You smiled. ‘Four years ago, you crashed your X-Wing just over there.'

‘And you pulled me out the wreckage before the whole thing went up in flames.’ He continued the story. 

‘It was my first day and I had no idea what to do.’ You remembered it with a soft laugh. 

‘You saved my ass.’ He pressed a kiss to your temple. ‘And frankly, you’ve done it every day since.’

He turned so that he was facing you, one hand resting on your hip and the other on the back of your neck. For all his funny moments and grandeur, Poe Dameron could be soft as fuck. It was something that very few people every got to see, and mostly something that he saved for you, and only you. It was something you often witnessed under the covers of the dark, when it was just the two of you laying in bed together, softly murmuring about your day. 

‘I love you, Poe.’ You murmured. Don’t cry. Don’t cry. Don’t - ah fuck. 

‘I love you more.’ He gave you a watery grin. ‘I did give you those photos for a reason, though.’

‘Yeah?’

He fumbled around the backpack he’d brought, producing a book. It had a picture of you, him and BB-8 on the front, with The Story of Us scribbled across the front in his mildly terrible hand writing. He flipped it open, to show several empty pages. 

‘It’s dumb and cheesy as fuck, but I wanted somewhere to keep all those photos.’ He explained. ‘I know that we know our story, but it’s nice to look back at them, right?’

‘It is.’ You smiled. ‘Those photos made my whole day.’

‘I’m glad.’ He beamed back at you. ‘And we can keep adding to it. I’d like to think that this is only just the beginning.’ 

[whocalledhimannux]

@peregrer the What. 👀👀👀 *insert John Mulaney gif of "say more right now"*

ok so when I say "the extent to which I've fleshed out the QT GBBO AU in my head is getting to be embarrassing," I truly and deeply mean it, please enjoy 1,900 words of utter ridiculousness.

first, our competitors:

Legarus - performs so poorly that viewers are a bit confused how he got on the show in the first place, a la Jamie (series 10) or that one guy who made a lime and chocolate cake in the first week.

Chloe - nice flavors and good ideas for decorations, but pretty sloppy. was up for elimination in the first week but came back with a great showstopper.

Melheret - good but not as good as he thinks he is (hence his bread week elimination because of sloppy technique), heavy-handed with the alcohol flavoring

Agape - solid competitor, not flashy but tasty + pretty results. I haven't worked out exact week-by-week themes (that would indeed be Too Much) but I imagine this is something like "Dairy" or "Caramel" or "Vegan," some particular element she just happens to not be strong on. viewers are disappointed by her early elimination

Teleus - Dad contestant. brings in a bunch of weird pans and gadgets he made up himself, does pretty well until it comes to Fiddly Foreign Foods he doesn't know (probably eliminated in French or Patisserie week)

Laela - typically has good flavors and pretty designs but technical knowledge is a bit lacking, so there are usually some flaws in the execution and she's often in the bottom half of technicals

Phresine - Grandma contestant. nails the classics but ultimately isn't creative enough to make it further.

Magus - the "Ian (series 6)" flavor of Dad contestant, often brings in foraged ingredients or eggs from his own chickens or whatnot and revives old recipes/flavor combinations no one else knows about. one week, some of those turn out to just be too weird, leading to his elimination.

Sophos - pretty elaborate decorations and good flavors (on the border of classic and new), but he tends to try a million different embellishments on everything and struggles with timing, occasionally to the detriment of technique.

Kamet - always has really interesting and different flavors and tends to do well in technicals especially, assuming he doesn't get overwhelmed. which is... an assumption (Finalist)

Costis - leans towards classic and indulgent flavors, although sometimes a bit sloppy--the kind of contestant where the judges look at his dishes and say "it's a bit of a mess" and then Paul Hollywood starts laughing because it still tastes delicious (Finalist)

Irene - absolutely stunning visually, queen of the technicals, occasionally gets the "style over substance" warning (Winner)

more details below the cut

I've gone back and forth on whether Eugenides should be in it but ultimately I decided no because I wanted to maintain a pre-show relationship between Laela + Kamet (I thought otherwise at first but then I realized I hadn't left Kamet any longterm friends or family for his finalist video and that's depressing af) and Irene and Sophos which to my knowledge hasn't happened once on the show so far? so having a married couple on top of that seems like it would be a stretch, and also then I think I'd need to make Eugenides the winner on principle and you know what? he can stand to be second fiddle to his wife for a little bit. My alternate backstory for him is that he was actually the winner of MasterChef one year (good with knives), so in the first episode Irene's first little chat to camera is something like "my husband's been bugging me for years to try out and I keep telling him he's got a skewed perspective on cooking competitions, finally I applied just to shut him up... and here we are." Her little video introduction is about how baking is a stress relief from her bigshot job. Her decorations tend to be abstract and gorgeous rather than cutesy.

Kamet, likewise, was nagged into applying by Laela, but she very cleverly framed it as she wanted to apply and wanted him to do it to for moral support. both were confident the other would get in and surprised that they did themselves. This is one of those series where everyone's friendships are immediate and obvious and super adorable (cast of series 10 my beloved...), and in particular these two are holding hands in episode 1. Laela's deep blue robe from TaT sticks in my head for whatever reason so I imagine her making an elaborate blue peacock cake or something one week that wins her star baker. somebody always does a peacock something and it's always impressiev.

Phresine is cool as a cucumber under pressure, always has lovely things to say about everyone else's bakes, and is the go-to last-minute helper because she usually comes in under the time. Irene starts out similar but as the weeks go by she starts to feel the pressure a bit more and cuts it a bit close. Sophos is the worst on timings, and mentions his wife at least once an episode. (I also played with him being single on the show and meeting Helen later through Irene and Eugenides, but this idea is too cute to pass up tbh.) Teleus lives with Relius, a fact that isn't mentioned until a few weeks in when he comments that Relius likes a recipe or gave him an idea for a flavor or something (Relius does not bake himself but will happily sample practice bakes), to the surprised delight of every viewer whose favorite contestant is the oldest gay in any given series (me, me, that person is me).

Costis tends to use a lot of chocolate and, as I said, pretty "classic" flavors--one of those people who makes a full English savory bake at some point. He's usually in the top half of the competition but doesn't get the top until one of the later weeks in the competition, which is a Honey themed week, and he absolutely nails it. The delicate decorations of his honey nut cakes and his use of honeycomb are particularly praised and that's the week he gets star baker. One of those bakers who flirts with elimination the first few weeks but noticeably improves over the course of the show.

My most, like, plot-y ideas are about Kamet (SHOCKER). I imagine he was born in Setra (I usually make Setra a non-autonomous region in my AUs) but arrived in Britain as a child due to [Unspecified Crisis] and ended up with foster dad Jeffa, who was roughly from the same region but not Setra itself; whenever Kamet wanted Setran food as a kid, Jeffa would take him to the library to find recipes and that was what sparked his love of baking. He's well-read on the subject and knows about foods from a lot of different cultures, so he's usually heard of the technical challenges even if he hasn't made or eaten them. He does a lot of fusion flavors, and is ALL ABOUT bread week.

I don't usually make the his-relationship-with-Nahuseresh-is-romantic leap in modern AUs but I think it works for this one because of the nature of the format--Nahuseresh doesn't actually appear on camera but is alluded to once or twice, ends up being Very Displeased that Kamet is doing something for himself, and during the week following Laela's elimination they have the fight that makes Kamet realizes this is actually a terrible relationship and he needs to leave now. He calls Laela to let her know what's up and mentions that, since he'll need to stay in a motel and has presumbly lost his job as a secretary (yeah working for your boyfriend is Bad, he's realized that now), he's going to have to drop out of the show. Laela, despite living in a studio flat without room to host him, immediately thinks "um fuck that" and calls Costis, and within an hour Costis and Aris and a few rugby buddies have moved all of Kamet's things into Costis and Aris's flat, where Costis insists that he'll squeeze into Aris's room (they've shared before, it's fine) and that Kamet gets first dibs on the kitchen for all bake off practices.

None of them actually reveal any of this to the show's producers. Kamet gets a little overwhelmed the following week and nearly walks away from the tent, but Costis jumps in to keep his bake from being ruined, and some soothing words from Irene + the hosts calm him down and he returns to finish. The only mention of the Drama comes in the finale, during the longer video clips they do on each of the contestants. Kamet is deliberately vague about the details of the situation, but Aris shows up in both Costis's and Kamet's videos and references the fact that having TWO flatmates in the bake off is a bit difficult because they only have a standard size kitchen, so he hasn't cooked for himself in a month and has been living off cake and savory breads. one of the hosts talks to Kamet in the tent after that clip is shown and he still won't talk about it in more detail, but says that he wanted to tell people so they could appreciate why Costis hasn't practiced as much the last few weeks (the judges scolded him for winging it a couple of times), and admits that he totally copied some of Costis's techniques for honey week based on watching him at home.

I imagine the finale task is something like an illusion cake--probably with a bunch of additional required elements because the show has been going bonkers with the finale showstoppers in the newer seasons--and Irene wins with a jewelry box containing, among other things, ruby earrings made out of candy. Kamet does a stepwell, and Costis does something architectural (I was thinking castle but something visibly Greek-ish so maybe a temple or a megaron? idk). Irene wins but they're all BFFs and that's obvious, so everyone's delighted for her. The little montage at the end reveals that Irene + Gen are expecting twins, that everybody hangs out all the time, and that Costis + co recently helped Kamet move into his own flat where he's now working on a novel (Immakuk and Ennikar inspired, obvi, leaning heavily on the honey-shared-on-the-road thing and including some recipes that actually work in the narration, albeit still written in an ancient-novel-like-way).

[Obviously not part of the show, but when Kamet mentions that it's time for him to look for his own place, Costis tries to v awkwardly invite him to stay forever and Kamet is like "nope I've got to try this on my own but yes we will go on a date once I've moved out and see how it goes from there."]

[This is so far beyond the scope of the show but also several of them go on to have more baking-related careers and have active social media presences and at one point they're all hanging out and Eugenides pulls out a camera and demands they all produce baking pick-up lines. Teleus refuses and also doesn't believe anyone knows baking pick-up lines off the top of their head or could make them up on the spot. Sophos sort of proves him right by coming up with "you're the apple of my pie," which Eugenides instantly mocks because Sophos's three greatest loves are baking, Helen, and poetry, and that's the best he can do? Helen comes up with "I like my cake the way I like my men--rich, sweet, and bright red," to which Sophos blushes on cue. Irene's is "when I'm with you, I feel like chocolate heated to 50 degrees--I struggle to maintain my temper." Eugenides protests this is more like an anti-pickup line. Irene insists this is the most accurate marriage-related baking pun anyone could ever come up with.

[Laela's is "You and I are like custard--I hope we never split." Kamet's is "You remind me of bread, because I knead you." Costis freezes for a minute and finally comes up with "Fancy a cream horn?" which produces a lot of giggling and makes Kamet slap his arm in such a way that, hen Eugenides posts this video to instagram, fans of the show all go WAIT ARE THEY DATING NOW] [by this point, yes they are] [I didn't even have to google baking pickup lines for this, guys, I legit came up with them on my own, please clap.]

am I obsessed? I might be obsessed

[wlwdarlingcharming]

Hii do you have any bios for your eah oc's?? I'm so interested to know more about them!!!

yes my dear <33 these are very messy and i tried to keep some outline but oh boy did it go downhill after godiva.

elias wykkyd, son of the wicked witch of the west and the good witch of the south: he/him/they/them. bisexual. wants to protect the family secret (their mothers were not supposed to get together and if grimm found out, he would lose his shit) but his sister’s outbursts make it very hard. he’s very stressed all the time and would benefit greatly from a nap. they like to hangout with raven queen and thinks she’s pretty chill. he loves the other oz kids, but sometimes they are too much for them. he really, really doesn’t want to fight his sister or try to kill rowan. they don’t know that his destiny is to be the next good witch of the south. rebel.

godiva southgood, child of the wicked witch of the west and the good witch of the south: she/her/fae/faer. lesbian. very crazy. loyal to faer brother, but to no one else. has a “it’s me or them” mentality. believes she’s the hero and everyone against her is a villain. has too much power and probably (definitely) doesn’t use it for good. wishes her brother would understand what fae’s going through instead of blaming fae for everything. has a crush on farrah goodfairy. fae doesn’t know that her destiny is to be the next wicked witch of the west. royal.

rowan gale, son of dorothy: he/him. ace & gay. he’s passionate about photography and is on the bookball team. he never knew his mom, because he was taken away from her as a baby (👀). besides the ozians, he’s very close with alistair wonderland and would go far as to say that’s his best friend because he understands how hard it is to be a leading man. rowan is very scared for his destiny, because he doesn’t want to fight elias (godiva) and almost die. rowan is very sure of himself and has a god complex mixed with deep insecurity. people look up to him which defintely fuels his ego, but it makes him feel more insecure himself because “what if i just disappoint everyone more?”. he also feels like a disappointment to his mom but aggressively covers that up with false confidence. he gets bored easily and looks uninterested a lot. he doesn’t mean to, but school just can’t capture his attention. his destiny is to be the next dorothy gale. roybel.

valora de lioncourt, child of the cowardly lion: she/her/they/them. bi disaster. local furry. GORGEOUS. hangs out with cerise, ramona and rosabella. will do anything that anyone asks of them. gets into many hijinks with the other oz kids. plays for the lacrowns team and is surprisingly good. everyone always assumes she’s really shy and scared all the time (which in their opinion gets really annoying), but she’s very confident in herself. their destiny is to be the next cowardly lion. royal.

tinnafy manns, daughter of the tin man: she/her. panromantic asexual. total party girl. doesn’t sleep, ever. gets called a robot a lot and it hurts her feelings. hangs out with briar, melody and siobhan. close with her dad, but he doesn’t approve of her party lifestyle. rebel.

felix crowfield, son of the scarecrow: he/him. pansexual. coolest guy ever. literally so chill. how does he do it? it’s because he has dealt with godiva and elias’s screaming matches for years and has learned to tune them out. he loves creating costumes, as well as acting, and is apart of the ever after high players. doesn’t want to be the next scarecrow and would much rather make costumes thank you very much. his destiny is to be the next scarecrow. rebel.

lilith whiteford, daughter of the white queen and the white knight: she/her. ace lesbian. badass knight princess. has a cold exterior, but once you get through that, she is one of the most kind and caring people. loves her brother and her parents. loyal to a fault. wanted to be the next white knight of wonderland, but later decides she wants to date the future white knight of wonderland (one darling charming). was taught by her parents to never speak unless spoken to, so that’s how she talks to others. people think she’s just a scary knight princess, but she’s really not. secretly a huge nerd. older twin. royal.

lysander whiteford, son of the white queen and the white knight: he/him (ftm). gay. sad boy. sad, rich boy vibes. makes everyone think he believes he’s above them, but he is so insecure about everything. he wants to be the next white queen (king) more than anything. doesn’t like his mother or his father, but loves his twin lilly. he pretends to be a pompous jerk to everyone, and it pains him to act that way, but it’s the only way he knows how to talk to others. younger twin. royal.

coraline sirenowitch, child of the sea witch: she/her/they/them. lesbian. egirl energy. looks mean, is actually very nice. very, very powerful. besties with faybelle, actively tries to avoid meeshell. hates forks with a burning passion. (coraline: they’re like tRiDeNtS, fAyBelLe) likes to make their own jewelry. vegan. their destiny is to be the next sea witch. rebel.

eira nordskov, daughter of the snow fairy: she/her (mtf). bisexual. oh BOY she is my BABY. her story has developed wildly over the past year. she’s very shy, has limited snow powers and loves ballet and ice skating. friends with justine and duchess. she loves sugar plums (much to siobhan’s dislike). gets very angry really quickly, which causes some mild changes in weather. hate hate HATES her roommate, crystal winter and they have the biggest rivalry. has the biggest crush on nathaniel nutcracker (who i have also adopted from the books). her destiny is to be the next clara. royal?

siobhan plumfairy, daughter of the sugar plum fairy: she/her/they/them/he/him/xe/xem. the coolest out of the nutcracker kids. hangs out with briar, melody and tinnafy a lot. basically only talks to nath, cordelia and eira because they’re all childhood friends. IS the life of the party. wants to be anything other than the sugar plum fairy. has a good control on xer magic, but uses it to make decorations, clothes and lights for briar & mel’s parties. very insecure about their wings and doesn’t like to talk about her parents. uses his “cool girl” connections to get himself things. rebel.

cordelia mouse-king, daughter of the mouse king: she/her. very smart when it comes to sciences. likes to make potions and other concoctions in chemythstry and prides herself on getting good grades. likes to talk to cupid, because cupid’s old school is near where her cousin mouscedes lives. also friends with ashlynn and dexter. very short and small, but can be very scary. has a bad relationship with her dad, and usually spends break with her cousin or siobhan. super awkward around nathaniel and doesn’t like when they all hangout. rebel.

nathaniel nutcracker, son of the nutcracker: he/him. disaster bi. LOVES DANCING. absolutely loves ballet and literally any type of dance. good friends with justine. mostly hangs out with the other nutcracker kids. very uppity and preppy. scared of cordelia’s dad and refuses to hangout with cordelia outside of school, which makes group hangouts really awkward. royal.

jocelyn “jj” hook, daughter of captain hook and the big bad wolf: she/her. pirate lesbian. mostly hangs out with ramona, cerise and winnie. (as well as the hypothetical ever after high fight club) thinks of little red as her mom. refuses to talk to jamie (her mom). has a pirate ship. rebel.

winona “winnie” darling, daughter of wendy darling: she/her. bisexual. badass pirate queen. in love with jj and would fight anyone for her. hypothetical head of ever after high fight club. short queen. very shy, but once you get to know her you won’t be able to get her to shut up. rebel.

[snowspryte15]

Thoughts on Cruella

Let me ask you a question:Have you noticed the increase in stories about making villains more relatable to us, and even giving them something that seemed to be lacking in all the fairytales we all know so well?

Something like humanity?

Here’s the thing: no one is truly born evil, and to quote a line from Once Upon A Time, “Evil isn’t born; it’s made.” Perhaps the baddies were actually good people who were capable of being happy, finding love, and living their best lives. But unfortunately, a chain of events or even people who wronged them would lead them down a dark path that is often very hard to come back from.  In other words, the stories and characters we know isn’t always black and white. (See what I did there?) You can say whatever you want about making villains relatable or even showing sympathy to them, but I stand by my humble opinion that the updated version of the fairytales and stories we grew up not only gives us a glimpse into the heroes and making them more like us, but also the villains because their more than just the 2D stock characters we grew up with over the years. In other words, it gives everyone more DEPTH.  The same is true for Cruella. I realize many of you are starting to (if you aren’t already) get tired of films making the villains more relatable or even giving us a villain to show sympathy for. And I get that. But let me ask you this: is the world we see today always black and white to you? Should it always has to be good vs. evil when there are layers underneath the goodness and the evil that’s in this world? Should we automatically assume that all of the bad things that happen on the news are caused by bad people? I think you know the answer to this: no. We’re all capable of being good people, no matter what society tells us.  But the fact that we’re all born to be originals and not copies of another individual but being told that we have to be “perfect” or “thin” or “beautiful” or “handsome” or any of those labels is what draws people to the dark side, and that includes giving into power, greed, malice, and hatred. And here’s something else to think about - we’re always told by those around us, whether that’s our loved ones or complete strangers, to hide what makes us unique or even brilliant because it may not sit well with everyone. That’s another reason why some people go towards the dark side. And on another level, they use what makes them unique to stand out in not-so pleasant ways, instilling fear into others by what they say and do.  Both cases aren’t right, not by a long shot. Now do you see why not everything is black and white? It’s hard to take the animated films we grew up and breathe new life into them while keeping these thoughts in mind. Especially if we were taught at an early age who’s good and who’s evil, and that the baddies aren’t deserving of our sympathy or even redemption. I don’t know who exactly started this tradition of taking the fairytales, animated classics, and other stories we all grew up with and add more dimension and humanity to each of the characters, including the villains. But I’m glad they did. It gives us something to think about and makes us see that we have a little bit of evil inside of us. I may be in the minority when I say this, but movies and shows like Once Upon A Time, Maleficent, Ever After High, Descendants, and Cruella fascinate me because it allows me the chance to see how capable the villains are to being good people and their external and internal struggles to keep the goodness in their lives while navigating through all of the bad things and people that come into their lives which sets a course towards their villainous nature.

At least take into consideration the hard work the authors, screenwriters, and creators put into formulating the question “what if...” and how much fun they have breathing new life into these characters we grew up with and how much of ourselves we can see in the villains, no matter how much we try to deny it. There, I said it. I may once again be in the minority when I say this (it seems to be a theme lately on Tumbr, which is quite sad), but I enjoyed Cruella immensely. The acting, the costume designs, the hair and makeup, the songs... It was just bloody brilliant. Both Emmas - Emma Stone and Emma Thompson - played their parts extremely well. Ms. Stone navigating through her internal battle to be a good person while facing a conflict with the bad side was a wonderful site to see. And Ms. Thompson, I mean, come on. She’s just fantastic all the way around. To play a narcissist isn’t easy, but she makes it look so simple and enjoyable. I commend both of their performances in this film. And let’s not forget the rest of the cast - Joel Fry, Paul Walter Hauser, Emily Beechan, Kirby Howell-Baptiste, Mark Strong, Kayvan Novak, Jamie Demetriou, Andrew Leung, and John McCrea - such an outstanding ensemble! In the theatre, you know a show is fantastic because of its ensemble. The same applies in the movies as well. They may not get recognized as much as Emma Stone or Emma Thompson, but it was such a joy seeing these talented performers play their parts well, and the depth they played at was a joy to watch. Let’s talk about the costumes, hair, and makeup. This film better get awards for all of those areas (or at least nominations) because the designs and styles were truly epic. It’s hard to get the fashion of the times right without extensive research and a little bit of creativity and imagination thrown in for good measure. But Jenny Beavan and Nadia Stacey deserve all of the praise and accolades for rocking out the 1970s with boldness and some pretty wicked designs. I’ve noticed skimming on here the discontent many of you have for portraying Cruella as being a villain we should have sympathy for, especially since she wanted to skin Dalmatians for a coat. That alone should be cause for her to not be worth an ounce of sympathy, and I understand that. As an animal lover myself, I’m inclined to agree with you. But I’m going to let you in on one spoiler that I ask you take into consideration: no Dalmatian dogs were killed or skinned in this movie. I repeat: no Dalmatian dogs were killed or skinned in this movie. And here’s something else I want you to be on the lookout for should you decide to watch this film. During the end credits, there is a special message out there for those of you who are thinking about owning a dog: “Every dog deserves a loving home. If you’re ready for the commitment of pet ownership, please consider visiting your local animal rescue to find the right pet for you.” That message alone speaks as to how far we’ve come in society, and here’s why. Whenever we see movies or TV shows that feature dogs and cats, particularly puppies and kittens, we tend to rush out right away and getting them because they’re so adorable. But when they grow up, we tend to let them go and leave them in some unpleasant places. And organizations like PETA beseeched the film and the company to take a stand and use their voice to encourage adoption of pets in shelters and rescue centers and not pet stores. Apparently, the film and the company listened because they put this message during the end credits. Well done. I may not be able to convince you to go see this movie or give it another chance if you already saw it, nor should I try. But I do want you to take into consideration the amount of updated versions of the stories we all know and love, and how much the authors, screenwriters, and other creative types are bringing in humanity and depth to these characters. We’re not 2D characters like the heroes, heroines, and villains are often seen as in the original stories, so why should they be treated and seen as such for generations to come? We’re more complex and layered than seen in fairytales and animated movies. Also, I don’t think these stories where the authors give villains a chance to experience goodness before they became bad or even blurring the lines between good and evil are going away. It allows us as human beings to see and try understand that we’re all capable of being good, but it’s the events and people who come into our lives that shake things up and even brings questions of whether we’re truly good or evil that sets us down a path we alone can walk. And more importantly, it gives us as the audience a chance to see a little bit of ourselves in these characters, even if you don’t relate to the villains at all.  I suggest you stop griping about the rise in updated versions of the films, TV series, and book series of the original classics and accept that they are here to stay. I’m not saying you should read or watch them if they’re not your cup of tea, but at least try to understand that things were NEVER always black and white, especially where fairytales, animated films, and even more stories are concerned. At least try to understand that part, okay? Is that too much to ask? I’m not here to change your mind. I realize I can’t do that. So many of you are so set in your ways and opinions, and all I can do is pray for you. But I am here to share with you my thoughts on Cruella and how the updated versions of these stories are here to stay, whether you like it or not. And I’m also here to try to help you see that these stories allow us to see a little bit of ourselves in these characters we grew up with, even if it’s through a new set of eyes. You are welcome to disagree with me, or even not say anything at all. But all I ask is that you be respectful of my opinions and what I have to say. I will not tolerate any hate speech or disrespectful language. You do that, and I will block you. If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything. It’s that simple, and yet it’s so hard, especially on Tumblr. I hope I didn’t take up too much of your time.

[c-optimistic]

stay

or, dani has a chronic illness (alternatively: tried getting a friend to write this but she said no—I know, cruel right?—so I wrote it and am posting it even though absolutely no one asked for it)

Jamie notices it first.

(At first, it’s surprising to Dani, that Jamie is paying just as much attention to her as she is to Jamie. It makes her cheeks flush with warmth, leaves her unable to look away from Jamie’s soft eyes, has her aching to reach out and take Jamie’s hand and—

Dani breathes in, shoving those thoughts aside.)

Flora’s raced off into the garden, Miles chasing after her, and Dani leans against the entrance to Bly Manor, hands on hips, trying to manage her breathing. Her heart is pounding away in her chest, her head spinning, vision spotty. For a moment, she’s worried she’ll collapse—she’s been so careful for so long and she hasn’t felt quite this bad since well….

She’s not sure. She doesn’t think it’s ever been this bad.

Just as she straightens, feeling a bit more certain on her wobbly legs, she feels a hand on her shoulder, a gentle tug pulling on the back of her sweater.

“I’ve nothing to do right now,” Jamie tells her, grinning at her as she releases Dani’s shoulder and steps up next to her. “Why don’t I watch the goblins for a bit?”

“You really shouldn’t call them that,” Dani protests, but it’s weak and she doesn’t actually care, knowing that Jamie doesn’t mean it and much more interested in the way Jamie’s fingers brush against the back of her hand as she releases her sweater and walks backwards just past her. “And only Miles is really the goblin. Flora’s an angel.”

Jamie’s eyes rove over her face, clearly looking for something, and she ignores Dani’s comment. “Why don’t you take a break? Owen and Hannah are having tea—the real kind, not whatever it is you make. You should join them.”

“Oh, I don’t know—”

“—c’mon, Poppins. Everyone can use a break.”

Dani swallows, pretending she doesn’t hear the knowing undercurrent in Jamie’s assertion, and she nods, tearing her eyes away from Jamie’s and focusing on her shoes. “Yeah. Yeah, of course. You’re right. I’ll go...get some tea.”

Jamie waits, clearly intending to watch Dani turn and go back inside, one eyebrow raised, as if daring Dani to do what she wants to do—sneak past Jamie and get to the kids. “The tea will be getting cold then, and despite what you think it’s not supposed to be cold,” Jamie prods, gesturing with her chin towards the Manor, and Dani caves.

“I’m going, I’m going,” she says, holding her hands up in surrender. She doesn’t need Jamie’s huff of laughter to know that she’s still being watched as she turns back around and heads towards the kitchen (though all she really wants is to go up to her room, to sink into her bed, to drift off into an undisturbed slumber), accepting that she has no choice but to take a break.

(And when she sits down with Owen and Hannah, they’re all smiles, not questioning why Jamie took over for her, Owen pulling out the cookies—or were they called biscuits?—Dani likes that he makes sure to keep on hand for ‘special occasions,’ Hannah telling her about her latest foray into town, and Dani wonders if Jamie was the first to notice after all.

She wonders if maybe Jamie was just the first to call her out on it.)

x

“Miss Clayton?” Flora begins, dropping her doll and turning to look at Dani with an oddly mature expression of worry. “Are you all right?”

Dani stops picking up Flora’s clothes and frowns, confused at the question. “Yeah, of course. Why do you ask?”

Flora doesn’t seem to want to say. She gets to her feet, abandoning her massive dollhouse, and slides into bed without prompting, pulling her covers up to her chin. “Do you promise not to tell anyone I told you?” she asks, waiting for Dani to nod and sit down on the edge of the bed before she continues. “Miles and I played hide and seek the other day, and I hid in the stairwell near the kitchen. Mrs. Grose spoke to Jamie about you. They said they were worried about how you’re doing.”

(Dani is conflicted. On one hand, she appreciates the obvious concern everyone in this house has for her, the affection that leads them to notice she needs a break or to worry about how she’s doing. But a less charitable part of her is annoyed.

She’s not some weak damsel in need of saving, and she doesn’t appreciate the others talking behind her back and treating her as if she is.)

“You don’t need to worry about what they said,” Dani tells her, reaching out to smooth back her hair. “I’m fine.”

“Are you sick?” Flora asks, her concern not dissipating.

“No, Flora, I’m not sick.”

Flora doesn’t seem very convinced, but she nods into her blankets and shifts to her side. When Dani is halfway across the room, ready for bed herself, Flora speaks up once more. “Is it something that gets better?” she asks, sounding far older and wiser than a child had any right to. Dani turns around and gives Flora her best smile.

“Good night, sweet girl,” she says, and she thinks that her non-answer is answer enough.

x

She didn’t know about it until after Eddie. After what happened to him.

(She’d see his face, his illuminated glasses, and she’d think—for a heart-stopping moment—that her fiancé was haunting her. But then, as she regained control over her lungs, she’d notice it was a trick of the light, a glare off a window.

Eventually, she’d see a doctor. Eventually, he’d tell her there was something very wrong.

Eventually, she’d packed up and just...left, tired of all the looks from everyone back at home, at the whispers of ‘isn’t it just tragic?’ and ‘first him, now her.’)

Sometimes, she doesn’t think anything is wrong at all.

Sure, she’s more tired than usual. And sure, sometimes she wakes up in the dead of night, clutching at her chest, trying to ignore her heart’s abnormal stuttering, wincing at the ache in her head. But usually, usually her heart beats slow and steady, usually her breathing is even and measured, usually her head is filled with nothing but the day’s plans for the children and how the shirt Jamie is wearing suits her.

Each reminder that something is wrong, each time she’s forced to confront the truth that her own body is failing her, betraying her, it feels like the first time—sitting in that doctor’s office, listening to him talk but not really hearing, the words washing over her as her heart began an irregular beat with which she’d soon become quite familiar.

Dani has always been very good at hiding things. She hid how she only felt friendship for Eddie for years, only breaking at the prospect of life in a loveless marriage. And now, she hides this, the headaches, the seeing things, the exhaustion, the stuttering heart soldiering on despite every agonizing beat.

She hides, but Jamie’s watchful, tender eyes are on her, ready to rush forward at a moment’s notice; Hannah’s soothing presence is always just within reach; Owen’s thoughtful care has him anticipating her needs before she knows what they even are.

(She’s not used to this. People who see her, who love her, who stay even when things get hard.

And it breaks her heart that once they learn the truth—when they discover that her faltering heart is sending defective blood to her every extremity, that her rattling lungs struggle to fill with air, that each step is a step closer to the point of no return—they will want nothing to do with her.

More than that, she wouldn’t want them to.)

x

One afternoon, as Jamie, Hannah, and Owen watch Dani force the kids to work in the garden, looking terribly amused by the turn of events, she finds herself thinking that it’s unfair she only got to meet Jamie now.

Jamie is like...a breath of fresh air. Or, perhaps more accurately, that first inhale after being submerged underwater for a touch too long. It’s as if her chest was bursting from the pressure and then—

—then came Jamie, then came release.

(She looks like second chances and Dani would swear she tastes like possibility and there’s a part of her that’s desperate to find out.

Desperate to know if her touch would feel like home.)

But Dani doesn’t know how to put those feelings—feelings she’s never had for anyone else—into words. So she settles for long stares, for wistful looks, for furtive glances—hoping against hope Jamie hasn’t noticed how many times Dani looks her way throughout the day.

(She rather wishes it hadn’t happened at all, instead of happening now. Meeting Jamie, getting drawn into those eyes, gravitating to her presence.

Because now...well, now it’s all moot. Now it doesn’t matter. She’s marked, she’s damaged, she’s broken.

She has timer ticking down to an uncertain but looming date, and she can’t afford to allow anyone to be in the vicinity when that last second arrives, doesn’t want anyone to be hit by her leftover shrapnel in the resulting explosion.

But Jamie looks at her like she’d brave it anyway, and sometimes Dani wants so much to cave.)

“I think you missed a section,” Jamie says from where she sits, gesturing to an untouched plot of the garden, giving Miles a grin. She doesn’t even try to hide her enjoyment when he looks to Dani for help and doesn’t get it, when he crawls over to where Jamie pointed out and begins to tug on weeds. “Y’know, Poppins,” Jamie says conversationally when Dani gets up to go sit next to her, feeling the beginnings of a headache forming, “this wasn’t a half bad idea. There are plenty of plants that need watering too, spare me waking up before sunrise every morning.”

Dani looks at her, wanting so much—so much—to cave (to reach out, to touch, to—). But she just smiles and shakes her head, forces herself to focus. “I think they learned their lesson.”

Jamie shrugs, turns her attention back to Hannah and Owen, and it feels like Dani’s been submerged again.

x

She has a really good week—no aches, no pains, no exhaustion, her lungs expanding without any effort on her part.

One week, and it’s like maybe she’s fine. Maybe it had all been in her head.

(A week to hope, a week to think about everything she’d stopped allowing herself to think about—like hopes and plans and endless tomorrows.

A week to feel normal, to feel excited, to look forward to what the future would bring.

She got one week.)

One week, and then she collapses on the stairs as she’s chasing after the kids.

(Flora screams, at least she thinks so. She hears something, but her vision is spotty and her head feels full of cotton, and she’s unsure for a moment where she is. A part of her expects to open her eyes and see Eddie standing over her, his expression hard and set.)

The next thing she knows, she’s being looked over by the sole doctor in town as she lays on the couch in the sitting room, everyone (Hannah, Owen, Flora, Miles, and Jamie) gathered around her, a fire roaring in the fireplace.

The doctor pockets his stethoscope and gives her a sad smile when he notices she’s awake. “I told you when you first came to me, Miss Clayton,” he begins softly, everyone listening in with rapt attention, “your health—”

“—I know, I know,” Dani interrupts, and he seems to take the hint, pulling back and nodding slowly. (When she got this job, she’d sought the kind doctor out, telling him about her diagnosis, telling him about exactly what she’d need from him. And she remembers the way he had looked at her, the way he hadn’t questioned her, just looking over all the records she’d brought with her and nodding slowly in silent acceptance.)

“Rest, won’t you?” he says, patting her shoulder before taking his leave, Owen and Hannah following him, as if intent on getting him alone to get some answers. But Dani only has eyes for the kids and for Jamie, the three of whom are looking at her worriedly, Flora going as far as coming around to take Dani’s hand.

“I’ve an idea,” Jamie says before Dani can think of an explanation, an excuse, some way to make her collapsing less serious than she knows it is. “Why don’t we all hang out with Miss Clayton a bit?” she asks, looking at Flora, then Miles. “Keep her company?”

“Like a slumber party?” Miles asks, a smile appearing on his face.

“Oh, that would be perfectly splendid!” says Flora, releasing Dani’s hand in order to clap. “Can we, Miss Clayton? I’ll stay up all night!”

Dani shifts on the couch, noticing Owen and Hannah making their way back and then catching Jamie’s eye, and she decides that caving a little—just a touch—couldn’t possibly hurt. “That sounds like a good idea,” she finds herself saying.

“Excellent,” Owen laughs, making a face at Flora that has her giggling. “How about some hot chocolate for the kids, and some adult hot chocolate for the rest of us?”

“Can I have adult hot chocolate?” Miles asks, looking to Dani and Hannah for permission, shoulders slumping when he gets two unequivocal no’s.

(And much, much later, long after Jamie helps Dani carry the kids to their beds, long after she finds Jamie sleeping on the couch in the morning, long after Owen and Hannah disappeared to who knows where, Dani finds herself caving once more.

She finds herself reaching out and squeezing Jamie’s hand, holding on for just a touch too long, finds herself memorizing the look on Jamie’s face in response, finds herself smiling at Jamie’s quiet who the hell knew?, and finds herself thinking that yes, Jamie does feel like home.

And she finds herself wanting it even more.)

x

She confesses nearly everything to Jamie in her greenhouse, surrounded by the plants Jamie loves so much, feeling remarkably safe in the dark and pressed up against Jamie’s warmth.

(Later, she thinks it was the influence of the alcohol, the fact that Owen’s mother just passed, the fact that she hadn’t slept well in what felt like decades.

But the truth—something she thinks she’s only able to admit to herself in the dead of night, when exhaustion has seeped in, leaving her vulnerable to honesty—is that she’s been desperate to tell Jamie. She’s wanted to, needed to, felt absolutely driven to, from the first moment she laid eyes on the gardener and knew—somewhere deep in her stuttering heart—that she’s something special.)

“You must think I’m crazy,” she mumbles after she’s finished, unsure which part she’s referring to. The fact that she’d thought she could see Eddie after he died? That she ran to the other side of the world to get away from pitying eyes? That she took a job in the middle of nowhere, with children who’d dealt with more than their fair share of grief, because it offered an escape she was too weak to resist?

Jamie’s eyes don’t stray from Dani’s. “No, you’re actually surprisingly sane, considering,” she says lightly, surprising a laugh out of Dani. “So is that your big, dark secret, then?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, you’re a bit of a weirdo, Poppins. And I would’ve thought it’s because your ex-fiancé is haunting you, not something normal like this.”

Dani’s heart stutters, but not in the way she’s used to. It’s a swooping feeling, like your breath has been knocked out of you by a surprise, not because your lungs can’t fill with air. “Normal?” she repeats, knowing—knowing—she’s looking too intensely at Jamie, but not able to stop.

“Well, yeah,” Jamie says, shrugging a little awkwardly. “Something in your body is shit at its job. People are shit at their jobs all the time. It’s—”

And Dani caves.

She cuts Jamie off with a kiss, does the one thing she’s wanted to do since she first met the gardener, pulls her closer by the collar of her jacket, fingers snaking into Jamie’s hair, and—

—and her head swims, dizziness sets in, and she knows if her eyes had been open, her vision would be spotty.

Dani pulls back with a start, at the stark reminder of the ‘shit’ job her body is doing, and her heart resumes its irregular, erratic beat.

“It’s okay, Dani,” Jamie tells her repeatedly, “we’re good.”

But even as Jamie smiles at her reassuringly, Dani can’t help but feel she’s let home slip between her fingers.

x

She caves again (and again).

She caves and goes to Jamie (replaying the words ‘Poppins, you flirt’ over and over again in her head), caves when Jamie shows her the moonflower, caves that night as Jamie is fast asleep and Dani is wide awake, tracing her fingers lightly over the scar on Jamie’s back. She caves when she asks Jamie to come back and Jamie tells her there will be other nights and she can do nothing but ask ‘promise?’ and try not sway on her feet as she feels a rush of warmth when Jamie answers back with a nod and ‘promise.’

She caves again and again (and again).

And somewhere in between all that, she stops noticing her heart’s erratic beat, stops associating breathlessness with anything other than Jamie’s kisses, stops focusing on the pain that Jamie’s touch somehow manages to dull.

Dani caves and somewhere along the way she thinks, maybe. She thinks yes, I can have this too. She thinks it’s okay to do this.

She caves, forgetting what’s lurking in her own heart and lungs and veins, forgetting she’s making a mistake.

x

Hannah is lighting candles again when Dani goes looking for her, wanting to ask her to watch the kids later in the week. She doesn’t look up when Dani sits at the second pew, but she does let out a soft sigh as she finishes lighting the last candle and then moves to come over and sit next to Dani.

There’s silence for a moment, Dani wanting to be respectful, but then Hannah turns to her, looking a little curious. “It’s none of my business, but I just wanted to say, Jamie’s the happiest I’ve ever seen her. I’d wager that’s got a lot to do with you.” She doesn’t sound anything but pleased, so Dani meets her eyes, feeling a little flushed.

“She makes me happy, too,” she says, ducking her head. “But I just…” She trails off, not quite sure how to word her thoughts, how to admit that in the depths of her heart she’s got no doubt she’s known Jamie her whole life, that she’s meant to have found Jamie, to be with her. She doesn’t know how to say that she’s terrified out of her mind because even if Jamie is happy now, the only thing Dani can promise her is a great deal of pain.

(She is intimately familiar with how loss can hollow you out, how it can leave you feeling helpless and hopeless in the face of a vast, cold universe.

She doesn’t know how to condemn someone she’s pretty sure she’s falling for to that sort of pain. She doesn’t want to.)

Hannah reaches out and pats her hand gently, then leans back against the pew.

“Love is funny,” she begins, seemingly reading Dani’s mind. “It’s sweet and freeing, but just as much as you don’t have a choice in who you fall in love with, I don’t think you can choose what someone is willing to endure for you.”

“But it’s not fair, it wouldn’t be fair,” Dani protests, drawing Hannah’s eyes.

“Well, whoever said love was fair?” she asks with a laugh. “All any of us can do, really, is love with our whole heart with whatever time we have. That has to be enough.”

x

The second time her health takes a turn for the worse, it’s not as dramatic as collapsing on the stairs. Instead, she just can’t get out of bed.

It’s painfully embarrassing, the way Hannah brings her breakfast, helps her sit up in bed, even steadies her shaking hand as she tries to sip her tea. It’s somehow worse when Owen drops by with lunch later, telling her he’d ‘gone full American’ and made some of her favorites.

But when Jamie arrives, not covered in dirt for once, Dani feels a bit of panic set in at the very thought of what she has to do—how she has to convince this woman to move on, find someone who isn’t tainted like she is.

(This is what Dani knows without a doubt: Jamie is the ‘spend forever with you’ sort of person for her, the only one who has ever made her feel safe in the storm, heard in the silence, seen in the dark.

This is what Dani knows without a single doubt: Jamie already expects everyone she meets to in someway disappoint her, and it would break Dani’s heart if she was one of those people too.)

So she decides on telling the truth.

“I’m sick you know,” Dani says just as Jamie sits down at the edge of the bed, hand resting remarkably close to Dani’s.

She raises an eyebrow. “I gathered that much, yeah.”

“No, Jamie. I’m sick,” Dani tries, the words getting stuck to the roof of her mouth, suddenly unwilling to say more. “I won’t get better, I’ll never get better. It’ll just get worse and then—” She cuts herself off, blinking rapidly, trying to prevent the onset of tears.

Jamie doesn’t say anything for a beat, just stares, before she pulls her hand back. It’s just an inch, barely even that, but it feels like miles, and Dani wishes she could take it all back. “Oh,” Jamie says eventually, her previous wry amusement fading entirely to be replaced by a soft frown.

“It’s just,” Dani starts, “you don’t get it. I have this feeling, you know? Like I’m walking through this dense, overgrown jungle and I can’t see anything. Nothing but for the path immediately ahead of me. But I know there’s this thing hidden, this angry, empty, lonely beast. And one day, who knows when, that’ll be it. I’ll be devoured.” Her tears finally escape, rolling down her cheek and onto her covers. She thinks Jamie follows the path with her eyes, but she’s not sure, can’t tell when her vision is blurred by tears. After a second, she more feels than sees Jamie shift on the bed.

“Do you want some company?” Jamie asks, and when Dani blinks her vision clear, she can see that Jamie’s holding up her hand, pinky sticking out.

“What?”

“While you’re in that jungle, waiting for the beast, do you want some company?”

(She thinks about what Hannah said, about not being able to choose what someone is willing to endure for you. She thinks about how Jamie has offered this in light of the entire, complete truth.

She thinks about how Jamie is still here, still wanting to be present, even as Dani confesses the thing she’s run from since Eddie died.)

Dani hooks their pinkies together, nodding, and she’s pretty sure—if miracles or magic or the fantastic truly existed—her body would have repaired its damaged cells when Jamie presses a kiss to Dani’s hand.

And yet, she finds Jamie's presence—her warmth, her smile, her choice—to be miracle enough.

x

They decide to leave Bly.

(Flora hugs her tightly, makes her promise she’ll visit soon; Hannah and Owen tell her to take care of herself, that they’ll keep in touch; and as Jamie helps Dani put the last of their things in her truck, as she pulls away from the Manor, Dani looks back once, idly wondering if she’ll ever be able to make her way back here.)

At first, they choose to just travel. They make a list of things they always wanted to see, then systematically go through it, hopping from place to place with no real intent—no real idea of what tomorrow will hold.

But then one day, Jamie starts to plan.

She hands a cup of tea over to Dani, raising her eyebrows as if to say this is how it’s done, then tugs out the journal where they’ve listed all their travel destinations. “I think we can skip over seeing the south, I’m not too keen on going anyway, but I hear the fall here,” she points at one of the places Dani has listed, “is quite nice. So we could start heading that way.”

“Fall is months away,” Dani says, setting her tea aside.

Jamie doesn’t notice, just sips at her own tea and hums. “That’s how the seasons work, yeah,” she says absentmindedly, clearly trying to map out their next few months in her head. She seems to finally register Dani’s stiffness and her tone, because she looks up after a beat, giving Dani the softest of smiles. “Don’t worry that pretty little head of yours,” she says, holding out a hand. “The beast’s not come yet and I want to stay, here with you. All you have to do is let me.”

(Stay.

On Jamie’s lips it sounds like more, like a confession neither of them have been brave enough to utter yet. And Dani’s heart stutters at the thought, but not because it’s struggling to beat, not because it’s working too hard.

No, her heart stutters because she’s excited.

For so long, she never thought past today. But now, with Jamie, she’s looking forward to countless tomorrows.)

Jamie looks at her, chooses her, stays with her, and once again (because it’s Jamie, because she’s starting to think maybe she’s not so broken after all) Dani caves and takes Jamie’s hand.

“Actually,” she says with a small smile, her eyes on the future, “what do you think about starting a business together? Maybe a flower shop?”

Jamie smiles brilliantly, taking the idea and running with it, flipping to a new page in the journal and jotting down ideas as she speaks, and all Dani can do is soak it all in. And she thinks, when they finally go visit Owen and Hannah in Paris, she’ll tell Hannah that loving someone with your whole heart with whatever time you’ve got is more than just enough—it’s everything.

[isitgintimeyet]

Just A Friend

Just another Sunday and just another chapter. Thanks to all of you who read, like, reblog, comment. i appreciate it more than you know.

thanks to @wickedgoodbooks for the beta

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AO3

Chapter 4: From Park to Parlay

There’s something rather special about this time of year with the transition from spring to summer when everything is still so fresh and green. The long, light evenings make me feel like I’ve been given an extra couple of hours in my day.

My flat has a balcony. It’s small—just enough space for a bistro table, two chairs and a few pots of herbs—but I love it. I come home from work and sit out there, sometimes with a cup of coffee, sometimes with something a bit stronger. Of course this is weather dependent — I am in Scotland, after all.

But sometimes, like tonight, sitting on my balcony isn’t enough. I want to be outside in all that fresh air and sunshine. Plus, one of my neighbours has acquired a new hobby, apparently. It’s either learning the violin or strangling cats. Although it sounds more like the latter, I'm going to give her the benefit of the doubt and say it’s the former. I have finally managed to identify the piece she’s having a crack at. It’s from ‘Frozen’ — ‘Let It Go’ and I really wish she would.

Besides, if I wander into the park, there’s a certain ice cream kiosk that might still be open. My mouth waters at the thought of their cherry bakewell ice cream. So, I grab a cardigan, keys and a bit of cash, and head out.

As I stroll through the park, I’m thankful that I brought my cardigan. The sun is still warm, but there’s a distinct chill in the shade. Not enough of a chill to put me off an ice cream, though.

The kiosk is just on the verge of closing for the day, but he spies me doing that stupid little pretend run that’s actually no faster than walking and waits. I smile gratefully as I hand over the money in exchange for a double cone. Turning away, I can hear the shutters closing.

There’s a bench nearby, overlooking the pond and still in the sun… unoccupied. I sit down ready to enjoy my ice cream in peace. After the cacophony of a violin bow being scraped painfully across strings, this is sheer bliss — only the sound of a few argumentative ducks and the occasional playful dog. No-one to disturb me, no-one to—

At first, all I can hear are two voices, coming from the path behind me. Nothing above a murmur — one low pitched, the other higher. I can’t make out what they’re saying. Not that I would want to.  The higher voice, a female, is definitely getting louder now. She’s not happy by the sound of it. The other, clearly male, keeps to a calm murmur.

“Are ye telling me I’m imagining things, then?”

I can’t hear the response, but it’s obviously not to her liking.

“I ken she works fer ye.  But she has her eye on ye. I’m no’ stupid. D’ye think I’m a mug?”

The voice sounds a bit familiar but I can’t place it anywhere. Perhaps we go to the same coffee shops or bars or—

“That’s it, James Fraser. I’m going, I mean it... Ye ken where tae find me… this is me, going… bye… I said bye.  Fine, dinna answer me, then.”

The annoyance in her voice registers in my brain. I know why she sounds so familiar— it’s little Miss James-Fraser-isn’t-here-don’t-call-again-ever. Which means that, at any moment, one or other of them might be rounding this corner and think that I was eavesdropping.

Quickly I get to my feet ready to walk away —slap bang straight into Samsonite-owning Jamie Fraser. I take a step back. The first thing I notice is he’s not wearing a white dress shirt this time. He’s far more casually dressed in a plain white t-shirt… a plain white t-shirt now adorned with a large splodge of pink ice cream right in the middle of his chest.

“Oh, gosh, I’m — I’m so sorry,” I stammer apologetically as I fumble in my pockets for a paper serviette or tissue.

He looks up. The vexed expression on his face gives way to one of amusement.

“Claire Beauchamp,” he announces. “I didna recognise ye without yer suitcase.”

“I am sorry,” I continue to apologise as I pass him a somewhat crumpled but clean tissue.

He makes no attempt to leave, but settles himself on the bench and starts to dab ineffectually at the pink stain.

“Was it good?” He nods at the battered cone I am still holding.

“Oh yes, the best. I’d buy you one as compensation but they’re closed now.”

“It’s fine. If I feel the need I can always suck on ma shirt.” He looks down at the stain, glaringly obvious against the pristine white of his t-shirt. “Sae, how are ye doing?”

I perch on the bench next to him. Apparently we’re having a conversation.

“I’m fine, thank you,” I answer politely. “And how are you?”

“Me, I’m no’ sae bad,”  He looks annoyed, then shakes his head and gives a little half smile. “Look, I’m sorry if any of that… er…weel, if ye heard any of that.”

Do I lie? Pretend that I heard nothing? I’m not a very good liar. Geillis always says that I have a glass face, you can see every emotion clearly etched on it and I think she’s right. So I choose to answer noncommittally.

“Don’t worry about it.”

“It’s jes’...” he pauses for a moment, considering his choice of words. “Jes’ … tricky.”

He seems lost in thought. Maybe I need to remind him that his wife-partner-girlfriend-housekeeper has just stormed off and will clearly be awaiting some sort of reaction from him.

“Shouldn’t you be… ?” I gesture towards the path in the direction she must have taken.

“Nah, I’m no’ going after her… no’ this time.” He adds the last bit under his breath.

“Oh, ok.”

“That's what she wants, ye ken. The attention, me chasing after her, making promises…” his voice tails off as he realises what he’s doing.

He looks at me and shrugs his shoulders. “I’m sorry. I shouldna be blathering like this tae ye. I dinna ken why.”

I do. Sometimes it’s easier to vent, to get things off your chest, to a stranger rather than family or friends. You can pretty much say what you like, confident that it’s not going to come back and bite you, or spread like chinese whispers around your peer group.

“No need to apologise. It can be easier explaining things to strangers, sometimes.”

He smiles. “Ah, but, I dinna think we’re strangers. After all, I’m well acquainted with yer holiday… er...shall we say, accessories.”

If his intention was to make me blush, he’s succeeded. I feel myself redden. “It was a hen party. I had to get into the spirit.”

“So ye say.” He raises an eyebrow as if to question my explanation.  “Och, dinna mind me, I’m jes’ teasing.”

I screw my face up in mock disgust and he chuckles.

“My mam told me never tae pull faces else ye’ll be stuck like that if the wind changes.”

I assume a serious expression.

“That’s much better, Miss Beauchamp,” his face becomes serious too. “But, aye, I get what ye’re saying— about talking tae people ye dinna ken. Ye’ve no horse in this race, as it were. Everyone else that I ken seems tae have an opinion.”

I’m suddenly conscious that the remains of my cone are still in my hand, now totally melted. Noticing my awkward fidgeting, he returns the crumpled tissue to me. I wipe my hands and deposit all the debris in the bin by the bench. He settles back, obviously keen to continue our conversation.

“Sae, are ye up fer giving me yer opinion then about ma situation?”

I’ve never thought of myself as an agony aunt, but I’m curious to know more about him. It’s reassuring to know other people have complications in their love lives too.

“I don’t know enough to give you my opinion, but feel free to unload, if you want to.”

He leans forward, his large hands resting on his denim clad knees and sighs. He has very nice hands with neatly shaped nails, no ragged cuticles or bitten nails. There’s a smattering of reddish hairs on the back. I always notice a man’s hands. Frank had very smooth, elegant hands with long, slim fingers. Jamie’s are much broader than Frank’s, which fits with his whole Viking throwback vibe. I force myself away from his hands and focus on what he's telling me.

“Ye see, ye get tae an age where all yer friends are in couples and having bairns. And ye feel that’s what ye should do, have a proper ‘relationship’.”

I inhale sharply at the way he says the word, so similar to my own thoughts. He glances at me, and continues.

“Ah, ye ken what I mean. And sae ye go along wi’ it when ye friends introduce ye tae a lass. And ye date… and it’s nice, but there’s always that feeling that they want something more, that they want the whole ‘relationship’ thing. They want more than ye can give. And that leads tae disappointment and arguments. They push, trying tae force ye to commit.”

He sits back and looks at me. “Mebbe it’s…och, i dinna ken. Jes’ ignore me. I’m a stupid dolt.”

“No, I don’t mind at all. Honestly.”

“I mean, Laoghaire is a nice enough lass, but it seems the more she pushes, the more I back away. It makes her more suspicious. If I dinna want her, then she reckons I must be after another. What do ye think?”

Do I tell him about her answering his phone? I mean, it seems like he’s coming to a conclusion all by himself. I decide not to volunteer any more information. And I know I said I wouldn’t give an opinion, but I just can’t help it. This is all too familiar to me.

“It is difficult but, ask yourself, is this fair to Laoghaire, or fair to you? Will this keep happening? I mean, I don’t know her, but will she be satisfied with what you are prepared to give? I think you already know your answer. And I think you know what you must do.”

He sighs again. “Aye, I do. But it’s no’ a pleasant thing, is it?”

I shake my head. The image of Frank’s devastation is still fresh in my mind. “It never is.”

The bench is now in shade, and it’s cooled down a lot. I shiver and wrap my cardigan tightly around me. Time to head home, I think.

“Aye, ye’re right. Time tae go.”

I’m not sure if he’s talking about the evening chill, or what he needs to do about the whole Laoghaire situation.

We both stand up at the same time. He extends his hand, and I take it in mine, which is more than a bit grubby and sticky, with the odd bit of tissue still stuck to it.

“Thank ye for listening, Claire, and fer yer opinion. It’s been a big help tae me. I dinna ken what it is but I feel I can talk tae ye. And I promise, next time, it’s yer turn. Ye can vent like ye want tae me and I’ll do the listening.”

“Will there be a next time?”

He smiles. “Oh aye, I’m sure there will be.”

[myhockeyworld87]

Nervous Regrets - Tyler Seguin - Part 38

Word Count: 5,621

POV: Reader then switches to Tyler

Warnings: Language

Notes: Ok so I know it’s been a hot minute for this story. I always knew where I wanted to go with this, but taking time off really helped me get here with this one. I hope you guys enjoy it. Let me know what you think. Happy Reading!

Nervous Regrets Masterlist

Reader POV

The rest of the regular season flew by in a blur and before you knew it, Dallas was in the first round of playoffs. Jace was officially a bottle baby now, which was both crushing and wonderful at the same time. It meant that you could enjoy a drink at the games with the girls, but you missed that one on one time that breastfeeding gave you with him. Though with the playoffs, Tyler was at the rink more, practicing and watching films which did leave some good mother and son quality time. Well, you should say, mother and sons, as the dogs were never far from their brother, even Gerry who had the hardest time adjusting to Jace now seemed to always be looking for him.

 The first two games against Nashville were away, and the Stars were able to come away with both a win and a loss, which wasn't too bad all things considered. Tyler had hired a private investigator to look into the comments that were on Alandra's Instagram, as well as the direct message that you received, but they were still not having any luck locating the person who'd said those horrible things. The investigator said they were all from burner accounts and that the IP was untraceable, but they weren't giving up just yet. Seeing as things had calmed down a bit, you decided that it would be ok for you and Jace to start going to the playoff games. You made sure that if a picture was posted with either of you in, comments were turned off, and all the wives and girlfriends supported you in this endeavor whole-heartedly.

 At the first home game, you wore your playoff jean jacket with Seguin, your last name now, written on the back. Last year when you'd been dating Tyler the Stars hadn't made it to the playoffs, so this year the girls went all out. You had both a Canadian flag and an American flag placed on the jacket, most of the girls only had the flag where their boyfriend or husband was from, but Tyler wanted you to put both flags on since Jace was both Canadian and American. You'd also had all three of your initials embroidered onto the jacket as well as the year, just for commemoration's sake. Jace wore his 91 jersey with Daddy written across the back as Tyler had somehow managed to buy it in every single size available all the way up to a four in toddlers. How he thought your child would grow into all those sizes in this short span you weren't exactly sure, but with Tyler's eight-year deal, Jace could grow into them over the next couple of seasons.

 Tyler made sure that you could park in the player's parking so that it would be easier for you and Jace to get in the arena. Getting out wouldn't be a problem, as you'd be waiting for him anyhow. Jenna volunteered to ride with you to help you in with Jace, while Tyler rode with Jamie, making the commute home much easier on both of you. The three of you made your way down to the glass for warmups; this would be the first time that Jace was down close to the ice and you knew that it would thrill your husband to no end. The Stars made their way out, and you watched and waited as Tyler and Jamie always went last. Finally, he stepped out on the ice and you held little Jace in front of you. His eyes darted around, watching the players skate around. Tyler didn't notice you at first as he continued to warm up. You knew the instant he saw Jace as his face lit up. He quickly skated over to the glass where you were located.

 "Hey bud," Tyler said loudly above the music as he knocked on the plexiglass drawing Jace's attention. Jace's eyes found his father as Tyler got a goofy grin on his face, which made his son smile back. "That's my boy."

 Just then Jamie skated over to join your little crew. "He needs a different jersey." You heard him tell Tyler, causing both you and Jenna to laugh.

 "Forget it, Chubbs. You may be his godfather, but he's only wearing his dad's number." A puck flew against the boards, startling Jace but thankfully he didn't cry. Tyler bent and picked it. "Catch this," he told Jenna, then he tossed it over the glass. "Save that for him babe will you." You simply rolled your eyes at how your husband wanted to document every little thing your son did. By the time Jace would be five, he'd have a room full of pucks if your husband has his way.

 "Go warm up," you shouted to him. "We'll see you after the game." You didn't need him getting injured because he hadn't stretched enough or something. Taking Jace's hand, you had him wave at his dad.

 "Bye bud, I'll see you after the game." He was just about to skate off when he turned back. "Love you," he said blowing you a kiss and you blew one back, telling him you loved him as well. As soon as he and Jamie took off, you and Jenna headed up to the friends and family room to hang out with the others before the game.

 The game was hard-fought, the Stars down one by the end of the second. Tyler got the puck from Jamie in the third and was able to put in the back of the net to tie up the game, but the Predators fought back and ended up with the win. Everyone was disappointed as it put them up in the series, but you had faith the Stars would come back in the end. Which is exactly what happened in game four when the Stars scored five straight goals before the third, to come away as the victors. It happened again in game five when they were home again. They now lead the series and could win the first round with just one more game and so they did, effectively eliminating the Predators from the playoffs.

 Tyler's family decided to fly in for the next round and flew in right after the first round was over to get a couple extra days with all three of you before the second round of play began. "Where's my grandson," Jackie cooed the minute she walked through the door from the airport, the rest of the family trailing behind her.

 "He's right here," you answered handing him over. "He took an extra long nap, so he can stay up with all of you." Jace, for his part, was his happy self, smiling and gurgling at his grandparents and aunts.

 "He's gotten so big," Jackie commented as it had been over a month since they last saw him. "You're getting to be such a big boy, aren't you Jace?" She said in the cutest little baby voice.

 "I swear mom, he changes every time I'm on the road, though (Y/N) insists he doesn't." Tyler weaseled his way in close to his mom, practically pushing Cassidy out of the way. "Tell Grammy a story." He said, finger going to Jace's chubby chin.

 "Excuse me, Mister Babyhog. You have him all the time, can you please let me in to see my nephew?" Cassidy shoved Tyler out of the way.

 "Fine, brat, though I hope he pukes on you."

 "Tyler!" You yelled at him. "He's not going to puke on you. Well…hopefully not." Jace did spit up from time to time, but all babies did that. "Why don't you guys come and sit down. I'm sure it was a long flight. Ty will take the bags up."

 "I will?" You knew he was only kidding, but you still gave him a look anyhow. "I'm going, be right back."

 "So how are the wedding plans going?" It was the first thing out of Candace's mouth since she got there. She was sitting close to Jackie, eager to scoop up your child the moment her mom handed him over.

 "Really good actually. I have a few more dress fittings, but everything else is pretty much taken care of for now. Did you both get your dresses in yet?" Both of Tyler's sisters had agreed to be your bridesmaids, and it had been a bit difficult getting their dresses plus Jenna and Anna's ordered with them being in Canada.

 "They came in the other day," Cassidy answered. "Though mine is like three sizes too big for me." When a look of shock came on your face, she quickly told you not to worry that it would be altered before the wedding. It was hard to believe that in a couple short months you'd be marrying Tyler in front of all your family and friends. Of course, you were already Mrs. Tyler Seguin, but this ceremony was going to be your dream wedding, the one you'd thought about since you were a little girl. Tyler had made sure to spare no expense to make all your dreams come true. Time flew by as you guys chatted about the wedding, hockey, and everything that had been going on with their lives. Jace however, reminded you that it was feeding time, letting out a hungry cry while Cassidy was holding him. "I swear I didn't pinch him."

 "He just hungry is all. It's about a half-hour later than when he eats." She went to hand him over, but you stopped her. "You can feed him if you want. He's a bottle baby now. Let me just go get one ready." Jackie knew this information already as you'd had long conversations with her about it, but you didn't want to get into it now with Tyler's dad there. You went into the kitchen and prepped Jace's bottle, only to see that you were running low on formula. Jace seemed to be going through more formula than you could buy sometimes. Although it was more than likely you just weren't used to buying it and having it in stock in your pantry. Handing over the bottle to Cassidy, you walked over and Tyler afterward telling him that you needed to go to the store to pick some more up.

 "Babe, it's late can't we just get it tomorrow?"

 "We're completely out, that was the last bottle. I forgot to write it on my list. I'm still not used to it buying it all the time." You told Tyler as he reached for your waist to pull you close. "I'll literally be fifteen minutes."

 "I can go."

 "Stay with your family. I won't be long." Leaning down you placed a chaste kiss on your husband's lips. "You can bath Jace if you want because he'll probably be ready for bed soon."

 "Sure babe, hurry back." He said before swatting your butt as you walked away. The grocery store wasn't more than five minutes from your house and was pretty quiet at ten-thirty on Tuesday night. Which meant you could get in and out of there in no time. You grabbed a basket and headed toward the baby food aisle. It just so happened your walk passed the snack aisle. It was like your favorite chips were calling out your name, as they were on the end cap. You grabbed a bag, knowing Tyler would make fun of you for getting them, as you'd been trying to shed the last few pounds of baby weight, but you figured it was ok to cheat while the family was there. Calories didn't count when there were more people to share your indulgence.

 You also grabbed a couple other things that you'd thought you'd need in hopes of not having to come to the store for a few days, before picking up four large cans of formula for Jace. There was only one register open, but seeing as the place was practically empty; you didn't have to wait for anyone else to check out in front of you. "Hi Mrs. Seguin," Jimmy your bagger said. He was a cute high school kid, that always seemed to remember your name. Probably because you'd gotten him a signed puck from Tyler after he'd helped with all your groceries every time.

 "Hi Jimmy, I'm surprised to see you working tonight."

 "Gotta get the hours when I came, with track season."

 "How's that going? I think last week you told me you took fourth in the four hundred." You liked that young Jimmy not only worked hard at his sport but also his job. He seemed like a really nice kid.

 "Took second this week." He told you, all smiles, as he bagged up your groceries and placed them on the carousel.

 "Congratulations, keep up the good work. I'm sure the next one, you'll be in first place."

 "I sure hope so. Need me to help you out tonight."

 "No, I only have a few things, but thanks." You picked up Jace's formula and started to head for the door. "I expect to hear that you're on top of the podium the next time I'm in. Have a good night."

 "You too," he called out as the doors slid open for you.

 The parking lot was always dim and you vaguely wondered when they were going to get the lights fixed as you headed toward the SUV. You weren't paying attention, solely focused on just getting to the car, when you felt someone come up behind you. "Get in the car if you ever want to see your son again." You gasp as you felt a cold steel blade against your midsection. You wanted to scream, but it somehow died in your throat as you realized the threat of never seeing Jace again. Headlights seemed to appear out of nowhere as a car started to pull forward. "Do as I say and you won't get hurt." The deep timbre of the man's voice told you. The urge to throw up was overwhelming. What did this man want with you? Was he going to kill you or worse hurt Jace? You would die before you'd let anything happen to your baby. You had no choice but to do as the man said.

  TYLER'S POV

 "Tyler, I think the cops are here," Cassidy yelled from downstairs, and you instantly checked your watch to see what time it was. (Y/N) had left well over a half-hour ago to go get formula. Your heart was in your throat as you carried Jace downstairs wrapped in a little duckie towel, with no diaper on yet.

 "Are you sure they're coming here?"

 "Sure looks like it," Cassidy said as she peered through the curtains in the dining room which gave a great view of the front lawn, where two cop cars were now pulling in. Your heart started to sink. You hadn't remembered hearing any sirens, and surely you would've if there'd been an accident. You hadn't looked in the garage but (Y/N) almost always drove the G wagon when she went somewhere and that would be the best car to keep her safe in the event of an accident. Panic must have shown on your face for the next thing you heard was your mom's voice.

 "I'm sure everything's fine sweetheart."

 It seemed as if it was taking the officers an endless amount of time to get to the front door, leaving you plenty of scenarios running through your mind. Maybe there was a shooter and your wife was lying on some cold grocery store floor bleeding out. While Tweedledee and Tweedledum took their sweet time coming to get you. So help you god, if (Y/N) needed you and these two didn't get to you in time there would be hell to pay. You found yourself shaking and no idea why as the doorbell rang. You were already standing there, so you opened it with your free hand, the one not holding Jace. "Mr. Seguin?" The office inquired and you tried to read their face to gauge what had happened.

 "Yes."

 "We're here about your wife, (Y/N)." A ringing noise sounded in your ears and things became muffled as your heartbeat sped to a rapid pace. You'd never passed out in your life, but it felt like you were going to. You were vaguely aware of your mom taking Jace out of your arms until you heard his cries, which snapped you out of things. You needed to be strong not only for (Y/N) but for Jace as well. "There's been an incident involving your wife." The minute the words were out of the officer's mouth, all the blood drained from your body. Jace could not grow up without his mom; you wouldn't let it happen.

 Somehow you found the courage to ask, "Is she ok?"

 "Oh, yes, she's a little shaken up, but that's to be expected." The words shaken up kept echoing in your head, but at least she was ok. Maybe it was just a small car accident. You could replace the car twenty times over, but you couldn't replace (Y/N). "They're taking her down to the station to get her statement. She asked if we could come and get you."

 The other officer chimed in. "And bring you these as well." It was grocery bags with formula in it for Jace. If she still had the presence of mind to send that home, she must be ok surely.

 "What happened?"

 "Oh I'm sorry, we should've mentioned this before. There was an attempted abduction."

 You blinked as if you'd misheard him, but then you heard Cassidy repeat the word abduction. "Are you trying to say someone tried to kidnap my wife?" When the officer nodded, you swore. "Are you fucking kidding me?"

 "No sir, we're not. I think it best if we head to the station. We can continue this down there." Of course, he was right, but you wanted to know everything and you wanted to know now. "Mrs. Seguin is pretty shaken up, understandably and I'm sure your presence there will help." The cops were right, you needed to be with (Y/N).

 "Can you…" you turned and asked your family.

 "Of course," your mom answered not even letting you finish asking her to watch Jace.

 "Do you want me to go with you?" It was your dad who offered, but you shook your head no. You wanted to be with (Y/N) and not have to worry about anyone else.

 "No, I'll keep you guys posted though." You grabbed your phone before following the officers out to the car. Thankfully, it was a quick ride to the police station. You wanted to sprint inside but didn't know where to go, so you had to bide your time and follow the cops in. They lead you to a room off to the side where (Y/N) was sitting, her body visibly shaking as she sat there. "(Y/N)." Her head snapped up at the sound of your voice, and you took in her appearance, mascara streaked down her face from crying, eyes red and swollen from the same. She looked like hell, but at least she was here. In less than a second, you were standing in front of her, pulling her into your arms. She sobbed and sobbed, and you found yourself crying as well as you stroked her back and pressed kisses to the top of her head. "I've got you," you whispered and there was part of you that never wanted to let her go. Ever. You let her cry a bit more, then pulled her back a bit, still keeping your arms around her, needing to touch her to know that she was fine. "Are you ok? What happened?"

 She took in a deep breath, trying to calm her shattered nerves. You rubbed her arms up and down. "I'm ok, just scared." You could see that in her eyes. "I thought I'd never see you again for a minute." That ringing in your ears came back and you didn't even like the thought of thinking that something like that could happen, and though you wanted to hear what happened, you pulled her back in, your lips going straight to hers.

 "I will never let that happen," you told her between a few more kisses.

 "Mr. and Mrs. Seguin," a detective said as he and a fellow officer stepped into the room. "We were wondering if we could get your statement now, ma'am?" (Y/N) nodded her head and they motioned for you both to take a seat. "I know we've been over this before, but we need to have it officially on the record." He pulled out a recorder and set it on the table. "Can you start from the beginning for us?"

 You put your arm around (Y/N) hoping to give her some measure of comfort. "I had gone to the store for the formula for my son." (Y/N) started. "I grabbed a couple extra things, then went to checkout. I talked to Jimmy for a couple minutes."

 "And Jimmy is…" the officer prompted.

 "He works as a bagger at the store. He usually carries my groceries out to the car for me."

 "Ok continue."

 "Since I didn't have that many bags, I told Jimmy not to worry about taking them to the car and I started out to the parking lot. That's when some man came up behind me." She shuttered and you tightened your grip around her. "He told me to get in the car if I ever wanted to see my son again." You swallowed past the lump that had formed in your throat, as (Y/N) retold the details of what happened. "He had a knife pressed against my stomach." Unconsciously, you looked down and saw the tear in her shirt as well as the blood.

 "Fuck, are you hurt?" You knew you were interrupting but this was your wife and if she was bleeding, you needed to get her to the hospital.

 "It's just a scratch." She told you lifting the shirt and showing you the bandage that someone had obviously put on.

 "Ma'am if you could keep going?"

 "Yes, of course." (Y/N) answered with a shaky breath. "There was a car, a black SUV of some sort, maybe a suburban. I can't be sure. I saw it coming towards us and knew he wanted me to get in the vehicle. I didn't know what to do." She turned towards you then, ignoring the police. "I knew you had Jace and that nothing would happen to him, but I was so scared and then he pressed the knife further into me and told me that if I did what he said I wouldn't get hurt." My god, the terror that must have been running through her. It was going through you right now as she was reliving it. You wanted to hit something or punch someone, preferably the person who had done this to her. "The car was almost to us when Jimmy came running out hollering my name. I had forgotten a bag. Jimmy, must have been able to see the knife or know something was wrong because then he was yelling at the man to let me go and he called for security. I didn't even know they had security there."

 "They don't ma'am. I think that was just a tactic he used to scare your attacker." You remembered (Y/N) having you sign a puck for this young kid, but now you owed him so much more.

 "Oh, that was smart. Much smarter than I was." A couple tears were coming down her face and you brushed them away with the pad of your thumb. "Anyway, the next thing I knew the guy pushed me towards Jimmy. I think that's when he cut me. I really don't know. It could've been earlier too. I never really felt it." Her hand went to her stomach almost as if she was wondering how she couldn't have felt the wound being inflicted. "I remember falling on top of Jimmy. I didn't see what happened next, but I could hear the tires screeching as the car got away. The next thing I knew there were workers from inside the store rushing out and they brought us both inside and put the store on lockdown then called you."

 "Did you ever see the man that tried to take you?"

 "No," she whispered harshly as if she was berating herself for not seeing his face. "He had on a black hoodie and black gloves. That's all I remember. I should've seen more."

 "No, it's quite alright." The officer shut the tape off then. "You've given us a lot to go on, plus we're looking at the footage from the grocery store. Hopefully, we'll be able to get a license plate off the vehicle or a clear look at the man's face."

 "We don't believe that this is any sort of human trafficking incident." The second detective told you. "If I had to guess, I'd say this was a targeted attack against you and your family."

 This time you were shaking along with (Y/N), though not from fear but anger. That someone would purposely go after your family made your body white-hot with fury. "Who would do such a thing?"

 "We'd like to know that as well Mr. Seguin. Is there anyone that you could think of that would want to harm either you or Mrs. Seguin?"

 "I mean, we've had a few comments on Instagram. Nothing with anyone threatening to harm us though." You told the police. "I'd actually hired someone to look into the matter, though they haven't found anything yet."

 "If you could put us in contact with that person, we'd greatly appreciate it."

 "Of course." You wrote down the name of the investigator that you'd hired along with his number. "May I ask why you think they're targeting us?"

 "The fact that they knew you had a son, gives us the impression that they've looked into your family. Maybe they simply wanted money and not to harm you, it's hard to say, especially with you being a well-known athlete and all." You'd give up your career in a heartbeat if it meant it would keep your family safe. "You haven't noticed anything suspicious around your house lately. Maybe a parked car that's there, that you don't recognize or someone driving by a lot." Both you and (Y/N) shook your heads no, though you'd be sure to have the security footage of your house checked. "It's likely they've been watching you and waiting for the right opportunity to present itself, like tonight. We'll have a car drive by over the next week to make sure things are ok."

 "Thank you, we'd appreciate that." (Y/N) told them.

 "That's all we need for now," the officer said, then handed you over a card. "We have all your information if we find out anything at all, we'll give you a call. If you remember anything, Mrs. Seguin, please call us."

 "I will and thank you." With that, you headed out of the station and into your car to head home.

 The drive home was silent, though you held (Y/N)'s hand the whole way, brushing your thumb across her knuckles in a loving way. The closer you got to home, the more you wanted to say something, but just didn't know what to say. "Babe, I know my family is going to ask a ton of questions. If you just want to go to bed that's fine."

 "No, it's ok."

 "Well, just say the word if they annoy you or something." She smiled over at you then, it was lacking that bright and airiness that she always had, so you brought her hand to your lips and kissed her. "Whatever you need baby, I'm right here."

 You pulled the car in the garage, practically running to get out so that you could be by (Y/N)'s side. The moment you opened the door all eyes were on the two of you; your mom rushing up to (Y/N) and pulled her into a tight hug. "Oh sweetheart, are you ok?" You heard a small sob escape her lips and your heart broke yet again. It took everything your power to let your mom comfort her, instead of pulling (Y/N) back into your arms.

 She didn't cry long though, pulling back from your mom and brushing away the few tears she'd shed. "I'm fine or I will be. I just need to see my son."

 "I just put him down to sleep," Cassidy somewhat protested and you gave her a look to silence anything else she might say.

 "You go see him, dear. I'm sure he needs his mom as well." Again, that weak smile appeared on her lips as she headed off upstairs to Jace's room. As much as you wanted to run upstairs behind her, you knew your family was anxious to hear what had happened, so you filled them in before following (Y/N).

 When you finally made it upstairs about ten minutes later, she was just standing by the crib staring down at your son. You placed your hand at the small of her back, letting her know you were there. She flinched slightly but then melted back against you. "He looks so peaceful. I don't want to wake him." She whispered.

 Kissing her temple, you told her, "Pick him up, babe." You knew she was dying to hold him, you could feel it in the way she stood there, hands clenched on the railings of the crib trying to stop herself. "You know he'll go right back to sleep." Jace was used to you coming home late and holding him even if he was fast asleep.

 She nodded then leaned down and gently picked him up. Cradling him in her arms, you saw her bring him up to her face and just inhale his fresh baby scent. She kissed his little head and you saw tears slip down her cheeks, yet she seemed to hold it together for Jace's sake. You slipped your arms around her waist, wincing when you felt the bandage on her stomach. She leaned back into your embrace. "Can he sleep in our room tonight? I don't want to be too far away from him."

 "You don't need to ask me that (Y/N). He can sleep in there forever."

 Her head twisted back to look at you. "Not forever."

 "Well, no, but you know what I mean." You dropped a kiss to her temple, then rocked back and forth with her and Jace in your arms. Time just sort of disappeared, and you weren't sure how long you stayed like that. "Why don't we head to bed?" She nodded and the two of you went downstairs, everyone sitting in the living room with the tv on but only for background noise.

 You thought (Y/N) would head straight to the bedroom, but she stopped. "I'm so sorry that I ruined tonight."

 (Y/N) went to say more, but your dad stopped her. "Sweetie, this was not your fault."

 "No, it most definitely wasn't," your mom added. "Why don't you let me make you a cup of tea? It'll help you sleep."

 "That would be lovely. Thank you, Jackie."

 "Sure things sweetheart. I'll bring it to you. Now you go lay down." Your mom shooshed her out of the room and down the hall. You mouthed a thank you to her, as you followed (Y/N) to the bedroom.

 Grabbing Jace's bassinet, you pulled it over to (Y/N)'s side of the bed so Jace would be close to her. She kissed him a few times before laying him down. It was moments later that your mom was bringing her in a cup of tea. She quickly gave you both a hug goodnight and said she'd see you in the morning before closing the door, leaving the three of you alone again. "Let's get you ready for bed." You went into the closet and grabbed one of your old t-shirts that was her favorite for her. When you came back into the room, her top was off and you got a good look at the size of the cut on her stomach. The bandage covered most of her abdomen and you sucked in a breath hating that not only did she have to go through something like this but now she would carry the scar from it to remind her. Mentally, you made a note to talk to the team doctor on tips to minimize the scarring for her.

 She slipped into the t-shirt then sipped some of the tea before crawling into bed, her hand immediately going to the side of the bassinet. You climbed in behind her, wrapping your arms around her so that not an inch of space separated the two of you. "I love you, Ty," she whispered, her free hand entwining with yours.

 "I love you more, baby." You peppered her with kisses, in her hair, on her neck, anywhere that you could. She relaxed a bit in your arms and you were hoping that she was falling asleep, but then you heard a soft sniffle. Your wife was trying to be so brave and you loved her even more for that, but she didn't need to be. "I've got you, baby. I'm not going to let anything bad ever happen to you." It was a bit later when you finally heard her sleeping, though for you sleep wouldn't come as you laid there coming up with ways you were going to protect your family.