#(it’s just sometimes my brands of insanity blur together nicely)

[apoptoses]

This only Armand-adjacent but I’ve been wracking my brain for months trying to figure out how they got perfectly pleated shirts in 1490s Venice without having to take apart the entire shirt every time it’s washed and re-pleat it.

The solution is to wash your shirt, wring it as tight as possible, and just leave it to dry in a heap. Armand just never had his clothes ironed and was at the peak of fashion🙃

(I’ll put the doublet on a dress form with the rest of the get up eventually but that’s what it would look like, all 100% hand sewn with visible decorative tiny stitches)

[solarwriting]

Remember Me *b.h*

Pairing: Romantic!Billy Hargrove x Fem!Reader

Word Count: +1.8k

Warnings: Death and major spoilers for stranger things 3

Requests: I combined two because they kind of fit.

“Hii can you do a Billy Hargrove imagine where the reader (hoppers niece) is trying to protect El from billy so she tries to talk to him like telling him memories they had together to wake bill up basically?” from @versaceismehoe

and

“write an imagine where y/n watches billy die in season 3 and they are both dating. instead of max crying into Eleven, have her cry into the reader and maybe they just hold each other and cry..??”

A/N: I wrote half of this on my phone and I’ve been writing this off and on since 7 pm and it is now almost 5 am 

also the gif doesn’t really fit with the story but he looks good in it so i’m using it

MAJOR STRANGER THINGS SEASON THREE SPOILERS

He had El and she looked so helpless. He laid her limp body on the floor of Starcourt. “Leave her alone!” Y/N screamed at Billy, moving quickly to stand between him and El, “El get back!” 

Everyone had started throwing firecrackers at the Mind Flayer, it weakened Him and Billy and Y/N knew this was her chance. 

“Billy, I know you’re in there. Please wake up, I need you to wake up. I need you.“  She begged.

"Remember when you asked me out? And our first date?”

School had just ended and Starcourt Mall was brand new, Y/N got a job at Burger King. Billy had been going in to the restaurant everyday for a few weeks. He’d flirt with Y/N, testing the waters before asking her out on a proper date.

“Hey, when do you get off?” He asked her out of the blue one day. 

“Oh, in about an hour. Why?” She asked, confused. 

“I’ll be right out front ready to pick you up for our date, okay?" 

She blinked, "Okay. See you in an hour.” She agreed as he grinned and walked out of the fast food joint, a smirk plastered on his face. 

After an hour passed, Y/N’s shift ended and she collected her purse and exited the eatery. As he promised, Billy was in front near the doors. He leaned against the walls the smirk returning to the spot on his face when he saw her walking towards him. 

“What exactly does this date entail?” She asked when she was closer to Billy. 

His smirk only grew in size, “Whatever you want." 

She quirked her brow and stepped closer, "Whatever I want?”

He nodded.

“Let’s go to the movies then. We can go to Back to the Future, there’s a showing in five minutes.”

Billy furrowed his brow, “But that movie seems so boring.”

It was her turn to smirk again, “Exactly.”

It was safe to say the two didn’t spend a lot of time watching the movie. 

“Hey,” Y/N pulled herself away from Billy’s lips and spoke with ragged breaths, “after this,” Billy moved down to her neck pressing his lips to one spot, “we should get ice cream." 

Billy detached himself from the girl’s neck and chuckled, "Whatever you want." 

She smiled before pressing her lips to his again, "I swear to god if I have a hickey I’m gonna kill you.”

“Is that right?” He whispered, smirking yet again. Y/N grinned and nodded, “That’s right." 

He sighed, “Wanna get that ice cream now?” She nodded before getting up grabbing her purse and Billy’s hand leading him to the theater’s exit. 

Y/N giggled as she drug him to the Scoops Ahoy ice cream shop, him having to deal with Steve would be pretty funny. Over the last couple months Billy started to change, it wasn’t very drastic but after awhile, if you paid close attention, you could notice the small changes. Like him being more respectful towards Max and her friends. He also got a job of his own, he was growing up in a way.

People who noticed wondered why, all the girls who usually got all of his attention were cast aside. They questioned his sanity. Why was he ignoring every girl and being less of an asshole than before? What happened?

Y/N L/N is what happened. He saw her and knew he wanted her, and he always got what he wanted. He began flirting with her at school that spring but she was proving to be more of a challenge than his usual conquests. She flat out told him she didn’t date assholes and that he was, in fact, an asshole. 

He was shocked by her bluntness but he also appreciated it so he began changing his ways. Now if he was aware he was changing or not, no one knows. 

Now at the ice cream joint Y/N placed her order with Robin, a nice girl she didn’t really know, and Billy paid. 

-

“This was nice.” Y/N said as she sat on the passenger seat of Billy’s car, “We should do it again sometime.” 

She leaned into him and pressed her lips to his sweetly, none of the hunger from their previous kisses evident. Her hands made her way to the back of his neck, pulling him as close as she could with their position in the car. His hand cupped her cheek, his thumb drawing a small circle. She pulled away and smiled. She got out of his car, leaving him breathless. 

“Pick me up tomorrow at three, whatever you want this time.”  She called as she walked to her front door a sway in her hips. Billy was awestruck and definitely needed a plan for tomorrow.

“Don’t you remember, that. The movies and the ice cream?” She asked her vision blurring and her eyes stinging. 

Y/N saw something flash in his eyes but it whatever it was quickly replaced itself with anger. Billy’s face contorted into pure rage and he stepped forward and grabbed her lower shoulders harsly.

“Billy, please! I love you! Do you remember when we said that for the first time?” She whimpered. 

They had been hot and heavy for weeks, if they weren’t loitering at the others work they were at the mall or Y/N’s house because her parents were almost never home. 

“Baby, can I ask you something?” Y/N finally asked one night as they were curled up on her couch watching TV in the family room, her parents gone on another business trip. Bill was lying half on his side, half on his back with Y/N lying partially on top of him, his hands on her lower shoulder, lightly drawing patterns with the tip of his finger. Their legs were knotted together and Billy had his head resting in the crook of Y/N’s neck where he’s press an occasional kiss that’d make her giggle. 

Billy hummed into her skin, “You just did.” 

She laughed, “I mean another question, besides that one.” 

“Of course you can, babe.” He answered as he kissed her cheek, “What do you want to ask?” He wondered as continued to kiss her cheek, sometimes moving to her neck or shoulder. 

“Well I was wondering if you would like to come with me to Washington this winter, my cousin is getting married and I get a plus one.” As soon as she mentioned Washington and wedding he froze.

“A,” He pauses and licks his lips, “wedding. You want me to go to a wedding,” another pause, “in Washington,” he pauses yet again, “with you?”  

She slowly nod, unsure of how to gauge his reaction. “Billy?” She untangles herself from BIlly and jump up off the couch. “Do you want to go?”  He’s silent.

“Please say something.” She whispers. He stays silent.

The silence lingers for a few more moments before her nerves get the best of her, “Say something! Please!” Tears started to prick her eyes. 

“Why won’t you say anything?” She asks, quieter.

“Because this is insane! Why would you ask me to go with you to Washington? To a wedding!” He was standing at this point, pacing the living room in front of the now nervous girl, “Why would you want me to go all the way to Washington? Why do you want me near your family? Why me?” 

Maybe it was because of the shouting, maybe it was because of how quickly the conversation escalated into a mini screaming match, maybe it was something in the air, maybe it was because this had been a long time coming, whatever it was the things that came out of Y/N’s mouth were the last thing he was expecting to hear.

“Because I love you, you idiot!” She yelled. Billy stopped pacing, waiting for a moment trying to figure out if he heard her correctly.

“You love me?” he asked quietly. Y/N nodded nervously but before she could say anything, Billy stepped closer to her grabbing her face and pulling her closer to him, slamming his lips into hers. After a moment of shock she reacted quickly, her hands shot up and grabbed whatever they could. Eventually they ended up in his hair, holding it in fistfuls. 

Billy pulled away only for a moment to breath, foreheads touching before reattaching his lips to hers. Lips still connected he pushed her into a wall, his hands now on her hips, trailing upwards under her shirt his fingertips leaving a trail of fire as they moved along her skin.

He began pulling away, Y/N following a bit before disconnecting again. Chests heaving, faces flushed and lips swollen, Billy leaned his forehead onto hers. Breathing heavily, he smiled, “I love you too.” 

She sobbed, “Don’t you remember? We’re in love. We have a wedding to go to this winter. You were happy. We were happy.” He remembered, he remembered everything. From the first time he saw her, to the first time they got in trouble for making out in the theater. He remembered it all. 

Y/N took a cautious step towards Billy reaching out her hand. His eyes began to sting and his vision blurred, he was crying. He slowly stepped forward and nodded, “I remember.” He croaked out, his voice hoarse. 

Y/N sniffled as she ran to hug him, throwing her arms around him and holding him as tightly as possible, “I love you, I love you so much.” She sobbed. 

“I’m sorry,” He cried, “I’m sorry.” 

Y/N shushed him comfortingly, “No, it’s okay. You’re okay now. We’re okay.”

The Mind Flayer stomped closer and closer before letting out a glass shattering screech before shooting a tentacle at El. Before it could even near El, Billy jumped in and grabbed the tentacle pushing it back, “NO!”

“Billy!” Max and Y/N shouted as more and more tentacles came at Billy, lodging themselves into his body. He was hanging limply when the final tentacle came making itself as sharp as possible before plunging into Billy’s chest before all of the tentacles retracted from his body and slithering away. 

You moved quickly, ending up at Billy’s side in an instant, “I got you, I got you.” 

“Billy?” Max walked up to him and knelt down next to you, Billy let out choked breaths, “Billy. Billy, Billy get up, please. Billy get up, please, please.” She sobbed. 

“I’m sorry.” He choked out before letting out a final ragged breath before he just stopped. He stopped moving, breathing, thinking, remembering, loving. He was gone.

“Billy. Billy wake up. Billy, get up. Please, Billy..” Max sobbed as she shook his shoulders in vain. Y/n and El gently pulled her away from him, “It’s okay.” Y/N sobbed as she held the young teen, rubbing her back as she sobbed into her shoulder.

“It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay.”

[alexrogersstark]

My Baby Takes the Morning Train

Steve’s hand tightened around the cold metal bar as the elevator gave its first lurch and then sped higher and higher at a dizzyingly fast pace. He could swear he could hear a whirring of the air rushing past them outside and a nervous clench captured his stomach. He and machines never got along so well. Ma always used to joke he could break anything running on electricity with a single look.

A soft smile came to his face at the hazy memory, faded from years of disuse, and his hand continued to constrict as the elevator shot up; never knew when his luck might strike, Steve thought on a nervous huff of a near-laugh.

To his left, Steve felt more than saw Bucky shuffle, and the scrit-scratching of his shoe on the carpet started. Steve took it for the tell-tale sign that it was. The noise of a car gearing up, revving its engines.

He felt a tenseness begin its ascent up his shoulders as he glanced to his right.

The young man had settled in besides him right as the doors were closing. Well, more like slid in through a barely there slit and shoot a glare up towards the shiny, reflective ceiling like it had personally offended him. The man hadn’t so much as given them a cursory glance as he lodged next to Steve.

Steve eyed him, curiosity spiking in his gut. The young man’s nose was practically glued to the screen in front of him, a white reflection shining in round, clear glasses. Brown eyes shown, wild and excited beneath the frames lining them. There was a slightly wild twist to his dark brown hair that Steve suddenly wanted to capture in wild whips on a canvas.

Blinking, Steve realized he was staring, or, rather, openly gaping at the stranger. Glancing away, he caught a soft whiff of cherries circling his nose from the man’s direction, and Steve looked over again, captivated.

It was a good distraction. The fluttering in his stomach started to take the form of that nervousness he got whenever someone interesting caught his eye. The feeling, a swooping, thrilling sensation, was a little different, though. Stronger than any of those other times and easily overcoming his first day jitters.

He and Bucky had gotten the interviews via an old friend. An old co-worker of his mom’s who’d come to the funeral and given Steve peonies that made him think of the sunsets she used to enjoy. Steve couldn’t remember the gentleman’s name after his tour. There was a flicker of guilt there that Steve couldn’t quite place. From not remembering the name or for being so outwardly desperate and weak enough to need a man he barely knew anymore to offer them help.

Still. Stark Industries.

He couldn’t turn his nose up at such an offer; couldn’t afford to. Neither of them. Not after Bucky had been honorably-discharged and given a barely usable arm and a small wad of gauze to patch it up with. Not after the medical bay diagnosed Steve with PTSD and depression because of the mission that sent Bucky home and then the mission that cost Steve the rest of his team mere days later.

The only thing that greeted him when he came home were screams that echoed in his ears at night, lasting so long the line blurred and Steve couldn’t tell if the screams were his or theirs. Sometimes, he could still smell the dirt that coated his nose and skin so thick, they were almost another layer of skin. Or maybe a layer of armor. Armor that had done no good at protecting him from the gut-wrenching scent of gunpowder and burning skin.

The attack had been a surprise. It hadn’t been his fault. That’s what they’d told him, at least.

Steve took a deep breath in.

Cherries.

He glanced back to the right. Bucky had made some comment a moment ago, under his breath, about the young man’s choice of attire, adding on some tacky line about kids-these-days and getting-old-and-going-downhill. Steve smiled to himself. The man couldn’t be younger than twenty, and he and Bucky were only twenty-five. But he could understand that the outfit wasn’t the most professional of choices. Didn’t mean Steve didn’t appreciate and find the clothes absolutely stunning.

The man wore a sleek button up shirt absolutely surging with bright yellows and reds, buttons parting all the way down the man’s chest only to join back together just above his belly-button. The shirt was hanging open just enough for Steve to get a glimpse of a gorgeously lithe frame and a slight mottling of red, puffed skin at the center of the man’s chest. Like he’d been burned.

Steve wanted to reach forward and run his fingertips along the ridges. Find out if there was a way for him to make any lasting pain go away. And he couldn’t help but think how brave this man was to be showing something so personal so proudly.

Lord knew Steve didn’t have the guts to do that himself. There were thirty-eight missed calls, all contained in a little, red bubble, from doctors and pharmacists reminding him to make appointments and pick up medications he couldn’t afford and Bucky knew nothing about.

The front of the man’s shirt was tucked neatly into a tight pair of skinny jeans that left very little to the imagination. At the man’s ankles, the pants were folded up to show a glimmering patch of tan skin that disappeared into bright, white Oxfords.

His eyes stuttered up to find the young man staring back at him, phone dark in his hands. Steve quickly felt heat threaten to take over his entire face and forced it back. In a miracle of all miracles, despite Steve’s highly invasive checking-out of the man’s everything, he gave Steve a small smile.

Automatically, Steve smiled back, quickly looking away at the sight of that doe-eyed look from beneath sinuously long lashes.

On his right, Steve heard Bucky shift again, and Steve shot him a reproachful look. A warning he knew Bucky wouldn’t listen to. But, well, insanity and all that. However, a bored Bucky had never been good, and the returning mischievous grin only lent to Steve’s worry.

He stepped a little closer to the young man, furtively trying to put his body between the man and Bucky.

The man glanced up again and caught Steve’s eye. Steve gave another soft smile before swiveling his head to the ground to stare at his shoes. God. They weren’t nearly as nice as the man’s next to him. He frowned at one particular scruff over the faux-leather covering his big toe. From the corner of his eye, he thought he might have caught the man returning his smile, something Steve couldn’t quite place lurking in those amber eyes.

Steve felt the man’s continued gaze on him like a physical branding, leaving his skin hot and twitchy. Like the caress of a barely-there touch from calloused fingertips, and Steve had the wild thought of asking this man if he played violin or guitar. What had caused the callouses? The question seemed important for no other reason than he so desperately wanted to know.

Tilting his head back up, their eyes instantly snapped to one another’s. This time, Steve could clearly make out something akin to confusion swimming through flecks of deep greens and golds. He got the distinct impression that he was being asked some silent question he couldn’t possibly hope to answer.

He sent another shy smile the man’s way and then looked down again.

Bucky cleared his throat, and Steve suddenly had to close his eyes and pull in a slow, deep breath. The scent of cherries calmed over his nerves. He wanted to give the man some kind of warning, but Steve was pretty sure saying, “Sorry that my best friend is probably about to make the rest of this elevator ride miserable and uncomfortable for the both of us because he’s bored,” was grounds for ending whatever they were doing with their game of eye-tag. He found he really, really didn’t want that.

Steve raised his chin, watching the man immediately train his focus on Steve. An unsure smile crossed the man’s pink lips, and there was a startled quality to it. Like he wasn’t used to whatever it was that they were doing.

Sending the man a sheepish grin, Steve realized it was the only warning he was willing to risk.

“So who are you?” Bucky finally spoke up from behind Steve. He felt Bucky shift so that he was leaning around Steve’s own bulk to get a look at the man himself. There was an odd undercurrent to his words that only came about when Bucky sensed Steve liked the fella he was talking to.

The man’s eyes widened a fraction, and there was a sudden quirk to his lips that seemed bemused. Steve felt his knees go a little weak.

Tilting his head, the man’s eyes darted to Steve’s for a moment before returning to Bucky. “You don’t know?” he asked.

Steve shook his head, and Bucky let out an unimpressed grunt. “Sorry,” he told the man, shooting Bucky a glare. “Are we- um, should we? Know you, that is? Should we know you? It’s- I, uh, sorry. It’s our first day here.” He wanted to smack himself in the face. Stupid! he thought to himself.

The man turned back towards him, eyes searching his. Steve thought he could make out something soft in the look.

His skin heated up even more, and Steve knew the blush was definitely covering the back of his neck, now. Steve reached up, rubbing at it self-consciously. He’d always hated how obvious he was.

Clearing his throat, he looked up at the man even though Steve had almost a foot on him. “Sorry,” he said, voice quiet in the cool air around them.

The young man shifted from foot to foot as he stared up at Steve with wide eyes. He mimicked Steve’s posture by resting a hand on the back of his own neck, and Steve wondered if he’d realized he’d done that. A moment later, he seemed to, pulling it away and letting it land at his side with a gentle smack.

“No no,” he murmured, and glanced away only to glance back a second later. “It was a-a stupid, silly question to ask anyway. Should’t’ve…” He shook his head.

Steve opened his mouth to reply when Bucky cut in. “You some bigshot?” he questioned, barely avoiding Steve’s well-aimed elbow-shot towards his torso.

The man’s gaze left Steve’s in favor of Bucky, and Steve felt the instant loss. It was like the elevator had gotten colder somehow.

He seemed to eye Bucky with curiosity as well. “I suppose that would be up to who you ask. Are you some bigshot?” he retorted smoothly.

“Went to Columbia University and graduated top of our class,” Bucky said, a hint of pride there that was innocent enough. “Joined the army, did a couple tours. How ‘bout you? Where’d you go to school? Are you still in school? You look a little young to be working for Stark Industries.”

The man’s eyes flickered to Steve for a second. The look was similar to all the one’s he’d received whenever he mentioned he was a veteran. A mixture of pride and respect and honor Steve never felt he deserved. But this look was also vastly different. This look didn’t make Steve squirm in discomfort, and he felt a sense of pride wash over him. He liked the look in those eyes, and it made him proud that he’d been the one to put that there.

“I went to a private school out of state,” the man said, looking back to Bucky. “I doubt you’ve heard of it.” And a thrill shot through Steve when he watched the man’s long, lean fingers twist into a cross, black fingernails gleaming in the fluorescent lighting shining against titanium floors. A smile came to Steve’s lips, one of the most genuine ones he’d felt since coming back to the States. It was like he was in on some private joke, and he was suddenly aware that this man has no problem playing the game Bucky had set up for them.

“And you’re right. I don’t, well, I honestly don’t exactly work for S.I.” he said, phrasing it as an admittance.

Steve let the tenseness leave his shoulders. Whoever this man was, Steve could tell he had what it took to deal with Bucky. He even suspected the man might just come out on top.

It’d be nice, he thought wistfully. Bucky always had this tendency to get them into trouble with the combination of his mouth and his boredom. He never meant anything by it, and by the end of most of his escapades, Bucky had won himself two black eyes and three new friends.

Steve flashed back to the crouched posture and inability to walk after Bucky had first met and spoke to Natasha. Now the two were inseparable – Bucky was even starting to look at rings. But Bucky had this way about him, and a part of Steve thought it was a little unfair. Bucky could make friends with anyone at any time. He was the life of the party, and he knew how to play his cards exactly right to keep them out of any real trouble.

There was visible amusement in the man’s posture as he folded his arms and squinted up at Bucky. Steve worked harder to fight his smile. The upward bend of the man’s spine as he placed his hands firmly on his hips, a narrowed, challenging look on his face; Steve thought Natasha would adore this man. He looked like he was about to chastise a child.

Maybe he’s just as bored as Bucky, Steve thought.

“So what are you doing here, kid?” Bucky asked, smirking as his eyes went wide as if he was genuinely curious.

Around him, Steve heard the whirring of the elevator come to a stall. It slowed and came to a halt, the light above the doors stopping and blinking once, twice above the black letters of 23. The doors opened and both Bucky and the man looked towards them. Sounds of amused chatter reached Steve’s ears, and Bucky began to step out. Steve followed, glancing at the man as he passed. Those impossibly large and round brown eyes beamed up at him. Steve wondered if he was beaming back just as goofily.

When they stepped off, Bucky looked back towards the man with a raised brow. Steve twitched as the noise came to a quick stop. Everyone’s heads raised and pointing towards them.

Steve glanced back as well, watching the guy strut out, raising his head like a pleased cat who’d just killed its prey. He trotted past them, giving Bucky a smirk.

“Good morning, everyone!” he greeted cheerfully. “I’m sure you’re all wondering what I’m doing down here in the design team’s department, but Miss Potts has decided I need to work on my ‘human resource skills,’” he said, fingers coming up to add air quotes to his statement. “Thus, today's introduction of our two newest members of the Stark Industry’s Graphic Design Department.”

Intrigue buzzed through Steve’s mind the more the guy talked, shock beginning to course through him as he started putting pieces of the puzzle together.

Whirling around on his heal, the man held out his hand towards Bucky. “This is…” he paused, waiting.

“Uh,” Bucky grunted, shooting Steve a confused look.

But Steve got it, and the man did look vaguely familiar now that he thought about it. He could see the headlines that described the deaths of Maria and Howard Stark, and the picture of a very young boy trying to grieve his parents in peace. Hear the other soldiers rage and rant when they were told that the now young man had put a stop to his company’s weapons manufacturing after being kidnapped for three months. Could feel the pride and admiration for that decision when an S.I. bomb came barreling towards the Howling Commandos.

Because this was Tony Stark. The kid who’d grown up in the spotlight. The one Steve used to judge when he was younger until his mom had chastised him on the rudeness that came with his unwillingness to find understanding and empathy for someone he knew absolutely nothing about. The one who Steve had started to admire for his bravery and generosity and genius as he grew up. The one who Steve used to pray would end up okay because he’d thought he understood, then. Just a little.

“James Barnes,” Bucky eventually finished, turning back towards the man in the elevator. The man who’d asked, “You don’t know?”

“Barnes,” Tony Stark purred, turning back to face the room. “Mr. Barnes, here, is going to be our newest errand boy!” He clapped his hands excitedly, and there was a murmur of amused chuckles. Steve thought he saw a fist pump lowly in the air from a man sitting in the back of the room. A worry filled him as Steve thought of Bucky’s arm, but before he could say anything, Mr. Stark said, “Sorry, Gerry. You’re gonna have to stay on the team and help with some of the heavy lifting. Most of it, actually; don’t think I’ve forgotten what you said to me on your first day. Mr. Barnes!” he snapped. “I know you could probably bench press Gerry, here, but I need you to make him do most of the work, capisce? So, even though it’s your first day, I’m promoting you to Senior errand boy. But, you are still an errand boy, Mr. Columbia.”

And then there was that swelling in Steve’s chest, warm and dizzying and constricting his every breath. Mr. Stark turned to him, and Steve saw a minuscule, barely-there shift in the man’s eyes as he looked at Steve and asked a name.

Those eyes seemed to pin him in place, and Steve wondered, hoped, prayed, that the man with the beautiful brown eyes and breath-taking smile was just as struck as he was. A name. A name shouldn’t seem like such a monumental thing to give.

Somehow it was.

“Steve,” he said on an exhale, and he hoped his voice didn’t come out as breathless as it sounded to his own ears. “Steve Rogers.” And suddenly he could see their entire lives flashing before his eyes. He wanted to laugh; ever the hopeful romantic, Bucky and his ma would always say, but there was a realness to this strong pull tugging him towards the man a few small feet in front of him. Could see the flashes of a life he hadn’t had, yet, but as Steve watched scenes in his head the way a child looks at a stick figure flipbook, he wondered, How can it not be real? Each scene, each drawing, singular and captivating all combined to create this entire story of them. Two people who knew nothing about each other but knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that one day they’d know more than anyone else ever would.

Steve could see it. Could see waking up with an armful of long, thin limbs and slipping out from underneath a warm body and a couple covers to start the coffee machine and possibly get a run in before the day started and he’d be forced to part ways. Holding a trembling body as news reels spread something horrid and heartbreaking across millions of people’s screens. Being held in a tight embrace after a particularly difficult day where past and present blurred and left him practically incoherent. Watching television on the couch and ignoring all that extra room to the right. Making a mess of the kitchen, but coming out with an edible feast to announce to friends plans of moving in together. Looking for rings and hearing a yes to a question Steve couldn’t even finish because there was too much excitement. Standing in a tux and saying, “I do.” Playdates at Natasha’s and Bucky’s house because they had the pool. Looking at colleges and attending weddings as Fathers of the Groom and Bride. Two rickety old rocking chairs that Steve remembered from browned and torn photographs with now-softened edges holding a familiar couple sitting in each one, reaching across the distance to hold hands in the front of his childhood home. Chairs he would dig out from the storage unit he’d always refuse to give up because he could never bring himself to throw away his parent’s things. Sitting those chairs on a deck up in the mountains because it was time to escape the city and pass on legacies, and taking a similar picture to pass down to his kids.

In a manner of seconds, in flashes where Steve could practically taste the kisses, feel the skin beneath his hands, hear the laughter, see the crow’s feet… smell the cherries. Like a light, guiding him, calling him back home, and Steve was incapable of not following – he doubted there had even been much of a choice – because he hadn’t been home. Not in years, really. Not since his mom passed away.

“Steve,” Mr. Stark repeated, and Steve knew there was no way to mistake the odd softness to the tone. Said low in a way that made him wonder if anyone else heard it. Heard the way his name seemed to hitch over Mr. Stark’s tongue, and roll off ever so slowly. Steve wondered how his name tasted. If it was good. If Tony Stark liked saying it as much as Steve liked hearing it. Mr. Stark cleared his throat, turning haltingly to face the room again. “And if you’ll all be so kind as to show Mr. Rogers the ropes. I…” he cleared his throat again, peaking at Steve as he continued. “I hear he’s got more talent and dedication than most.”

Mr. Stark moved away, then, and Steve had to physically push down the urge to follow. He stared after the man nonetheless, ignoring the people walking up to greet and welcome them with kind smiles and heartfelt hellos.

Tony Stark turned back exactly once, locking his gaze on Steve’s on last time. Steve let the soothing warmth of rightness utterly inflate throughout his entire body, making his skin tingle. He could barely breathe past it. Then the eyes were gone, going downcast towards the floor as Mr. Stark reached the door. Steve caught the smile, though, curving over those rosy lips, the faint blush on olive cheeks.

The feeling continued to swell as the door swung closed.

A hand clapped Steve’s shoulder, and he startled at the reminder that there were other people in the room. Bucky was looking at him, eyes darting around Steve’s face for a sign of something.

Steve couldn’t help it. He let out a laugh, tossing his arm around Bucky’s shoulders. “You have to admit, he won that one. And you kind of deserved it,” Steve pointed out, feeling fond and exasperated and completely, utterly, insanely overjoyed all at once.

@->-- Alex Rogers-Stark --<-@

[howbighowbeautiful-blog]

The Best Level

LG V30's digicam has the bottom f-stop in a smartphone. Both the 16-megapixel Nikon COOLPIX AW100 and the 12-megapixel Canon PowerShot D10 are rugged cameras that'll survive virtually anything you throw at them. I will then embody an entry within the Blog section of the location with anything I can uncover because the fascinating level you raised will no doubt be of interest to others too. All advised, the panel on the Galaxy Camera is not the best we have seen for all-round use, as a result of it's fully geared in direction of brightness and out of doors viewing. However, if you want to management the settings you continue to have the option to pick which scene mode, adjustable white stability, or flash mode you want for the shooting scenario.

As resolution differs between fashions, those with greater resolutions usually produce more noise, as a result of less light reaches each pixel. But the Canon G7 X II barely missed the top decide in our Advanced Compact category for a couple of reasons. If you're on the lookout for something that matches in your pocket and shoots higher photographs than your smartphone, then look no further. We fell in love with the E-M5's insane focusing efficiency, however the digital camera's $1,100 kit price positioned it out of attain for many consumers. Pros: Versatile camera that works in a variety of settings, can record 4K video, includes built-in GPS, offers a waterproof physique, has a touchscreen display. With regards to one thing small and pocketable, however the place image quality must be a step above the standard compact, there are numerous series on supply. We had one crash, and a few unusual gradual-downs, but for probably the most part each facet of the camera ran as shortly as the best compact digital camera GS III. Slow Movement Video at 960 fps, Built-In Wi-Fi Connectivity with NFC. All however one of the cameras here also has some form of optical zoom, allowing you to get nearer to the action than a fixed lens of a typical smartphone would permit. Sony factors out that it will take about 80 seconds to play back simply 2 seconds of video shot at that velocity. Sometimes as a zoom lens extends the quantity of sunshine it permits dips, which doubtlessly means picture high quality can endure in low-gentle conditions. When my Mark II sample arrived, I did what any jaded New Yorker would after a half-dozen years of taking pictures sample photos in Manhattan: I booked a flight to some place else. One tip from a non-severe photographer, make sure you can see the LIQUID CRYSTAL DISPLAY display screen in the shiny sunshine, my outdated level and shoot camera (Sony DSCTX7) takes nice photos and I'd have taken it on this trip, however it is unimaginable to see the screen in the solar, and is fully contact display, so you can not operate with gloves, so it might have been subsequent to useless in Antarctica. The DC-1 could be discovered for lower than $one hundred eighty , and it mustn't disappoint; the DC-10 is going to be $260 or more if you'll find it, as it offered quite well through the early a part of the shopping season. The alternative supplied by Canon was another mannequin with no view finder, the reason being that they now not made an equal to the A1400. Initially I assumed the X30 was an insufficient replacement for the X20 because it had the identical sized image sensor and a similar zoom lens, which was just about the identical opinion of most consultants best compact digital camera who reviewed the camera however it wasn't till I happened to truly pick up a X30 in a digicam store one day and look by means of the brand new electronic viewfinder, that I realised how a lot superior it was. The stand out characteristic of the Canon PowerShot G16 is the bright and fast f/1.eight lens which allows you to capture photos with that ‘dSLR look' that every amateur desires - the blurred background and sharp subject that's impossible to achieve with cell phone cameras. One other great function of the Canon G7 X II that's missing from the opposite two cameras within the Superior Compact class is a manual flash option. These additional features embody connectivity options like Wi-Fi and NFC, a number of shooting modes for enjoyable and artistic images. For more information about Panasonic LUMIX digital cameras, please go to /lumix. Household Provides Brooms, Flooring Brushes & Dustpans Mops, Refills & Mop sets Sponges & Cleansing Cloths Pegs & Garments Traces Housekeeping Dusters. However in case that RX100 IV level-and-shoot wasn't ok for you, the company is now introducing the RX1R II , a full-body pocket-sized shooter with a forty two.4-megapixel Exmor R CMOS sensor. We're creeping back up the value bracket slightly here again however I needed to include the Panasonic LUMIX DMC-ZS50 for good purpose - it actually is a superb level and shoot digicam that deserves consideration. The panel at play right here is an IPS LIQUID CRYSTAL DISPLAY affair, with Sony's Triluminos and X-Reality technologies that promise richer, more natural colors and enhanced contrast. Sony's A6000 is the mirrorless digital camera you'll wish to personal, ships this April for $800 with lens. This extra comfy design is compliments of Sony's Translucent Mirror technology, which also permits faster autofocus. The A6000 comes bundled with Sony's NP-FW50 battery again, which has been shipping with the company's mirrorless cameras because the NEX-three , a model that first hit stores just about 4 years ago. I shoot for a very long time with Nikon I bougth Leica D-Lux3. A Canon 5D Mark III with equal lens is going to take higher trying pictures than a Sony RX100 no matter. From professional-grade choices with full-body sensors, all the way to extremely pocketable finances-friendly choices, we round up the perfect picks accessible in the marketplace in the present day. Tons of of fashions are available starting at entry stage and going via to professional commonplace; there are enormous variances in high quality and worth too. You would possibly suppose we're mad for not together with the more affordable authentic RX100 mannequin , however the original would not have a zoom lens quite as advanced. This mannequin is slightly costly than its earlier mannequin G9 X however the high number of options in it makes it completely worth the value. The sensor and inner parts of the RX100 are virtually an identical to the newer and much more expensive versions, so that you get basically the identical image quality. The new S800c solutions the decision for users who want the flexibility to capture pictures and HD video with wonderful clarity and colour, yet gives a well-recognized portal to connect with social networks and widespread imaging applications by way of an Android Working System. Suggestions after Using the Sony RX100 for Two of Months. The DFD know-how additionally allows the LX10 to lock and hold deal with shifting topics as they propel toward or away from the digicam. I suppose this should lay to rest all speculation that Dprevieww is biased in direction of Sony or Canon. Due to its easy, easy design, you possibly can take good photographs with out having to fiddle with manual controls, which makes this mannequin nice for outings with pals or children' birthday parties. Whether taking a photograph of a panorama, or capturing shifting subjects even in low-lit conditions - the LUMIX FX90's excellent lens will take the photograph brightly and crisply. Apple commonly releases updates and provides new cameras to this checklist. Canon is not the only digicam maker saying new merchandise at CES 2016 Panasonic right now revealed the Lumix DMC-ZS60, a compact shooter with an 18-megapixel MOS sensor and a 30x zoom lens.

[4colorrebellion]

Review-In-Progress: Yakuza 0

The Yakuza series is always one that has fascinated me, but for some reason, I had never actually sat down and played any of the games. This distinctly Japanese take on Grand Theft Auto has always hovered on the periphery of my awareness as something that I was pretty sure I would enjoy, but until recently, it was just one of those series where each new entry arrived at a bad time.

When SEGA reached out and offered up a copy of their newest entry, Yakuza 0, I was thrilled to finally give the series a fair try. Read on for my impressions of the first three chapters.

I should preface the following with one disclaimer - I have not finished the game. This is a long game. I could easily see sinking 70 or 80 hours into it. Since I have a full time job, I haven’t had time to finish this off in the two weeks that I’ve been playing it. Right now, I am fifteen hours into the game, and in the third chapter (out of 10). With the game coming out in a few days, I thought that I should share my impressions for those of you thinking about picking it up.

The newest game, Yakuza 0, is a prequel to the five mainline entries in the series. Set in the late 1980s, the story follows two characters - Kiryu Kazama and Majima Goro - who have, for various reasons, found themselves drawn into a power struggle over a vacant lot in Tokyo. The story swaps back and forth between Kiryu - who has been framed for murder and ousted from the Yakuza - and Majima - who has been exiled to Osaka for his role in an earlier assassination.

The story of Yakuza 0 is not exactly going to win any literature awards, but like a great action movie, it really sucks you in. Every bit of the writing in Yakuza, from the central plot to the dialogue, is played completely straight. Yet, at the same time, there is this surreal insanity to it. The story is over-the-top - hell, every interaction is kind of over-the-top - and you just have to smile at the madcap machismo of it all. 

Whether it is Kiryu - on his knees in the rain, imploring his adoptive father to induct him into the Yakuza - or Majima - dodging punches from a drunken cabaret patron while playing the role of the doting, obedient waiter - I love every melodramatic exploit that these characters get into. They’re these ridiculous tough guys, and I really want them to succeed. I want to be them. Hell, I’d settle for being half as cool as them.  

Where the writing really shines is in the side stories. Yakuza 0 has two different cities that you can explore - the Kamurocho neighborhood of Tokyo and the Sotenbori neighborhood of Osaka. As you wander around these two cities, you end up stumbling into the lives of the locals. Sometimes, this is indirect - you overhear a rumor about an event going on in another part of town, and can wander over to check it out. Sometimes this is quite direct - somebody sees you as their knight in shining armor. These quick optional quests offer welcome breaks from the central storyline, and do a great job of drawing you into the world of the game. 

To give an example, as I walked by a restaurant, a TV crew begged me to stand in for their missing producer. The producer had quit after getting tired of the endless demands from the hard-assed director. As Kiryu, I had to pretend to know my stuff long enough for filming to complete. In the end, the show went off without a hitch - until the previous producer and his buddies showed up to beat the tar out of the director. Fortunately for him, they picked a fight with the wrong mobster. In the end, the sobbing director confessed that he just wanted the entire crew to understand his passion

Insane, right? Also, completely awesome. The side stories even build on each other over time. My friendship with the director ended up leading to a job protecting the “Prince of Pop” from.. Well, you’ve probably seen the video. 

The characters you meet in these stories, and the interactions you have with them, really make these cities come to life. You can even befriend a number of characters, and learn their stories as you stop and interact with them. 

Speaking of characters. If this scene does not convince you to play this game, nothing will.

The art direction also does a great job of bringing these cities to life. Although Yakuza 0 is not going to blow anybody away on a technical level - it was released in Japan on both the PS3 and PS4 - the sheer attention to detail that has gone into every nook and cranny leaves a great impression. The streets of Kamurocho are dense with detail - loaded with endless neon signs, pay phones, and storefronts. Just like any Japanese city, the streets of Kamurocho and Sotenbori are densely packed with people, businesses, and twisty back alleys to get lost in. You are almost hit with sensory overload, and it is all a great feast for the eyes. 

To really see what I mean, just enter one of the many convenience stores dotting Kamurocho. I have never seen instant noodles rendered so lovingly in my life, and I cannot think of another game where I can enter a store and see such a variety of items at once, at such a level of fidelity. It’s fun to enter buildings just for the “virtual Japan” experience. 

That attention to detail extends to the open-world gameplay. The sheer number of things you can do in the game is staggering. You can go to bars and play darts or pool, you can go bowling, you can hang out in Mahjong parlors. There are two entirely different rhythm games - representing karaoke and disco dancing. You can go to SEGA-branded arcades and play actual arcade games, such as Outrun, or collect stuffed animals from the crane machine. The list of minigames goes on and on, and you could easily put hours into them. 

There are even alternate modes on many of the games. For example, you can either play a standard game of billiards, or you can play “Puzzle Pool”, where you are presented with particular arrangements of balls and tasked with sinking the target in one shot. 

Many of these minigames are quite good. I’ve enjoyed bowling, pool, and darts the most so far. Actually, darts is another case where the attention to detail is fascinating. You go to a bar to play, and other patrons will come and challenge you to a match. If you win, they usually want a rematch - with a round of drinks in between. Yakuza 0 actually models drunkenness in the darts minigame! The more you drink, the more your vision blurs and your aim is affected. Again, I just can’t stop marveling at the endless little details that the developers have packed into this game.

If those weren’t enough, you can also build up business and real estate empires on the side. I haven’t delved into business management just yet, but I’m pretty sure it’ll be just as addictive as the other minigames. 

Of course, the minigames aren’t the main focus of your adventure - those are the battles. At its heart, Yakuza 0 is a kung-fu crime flick, and you’ll spend a lot of time beating the hell out of an endless procession of goons, punks, and other ne’er-do-wells. At story-mandated points, or as you wander the cities, you’ll be ambushed by a bunch of guys and have to defeat them to move on - almost like a JRPG, but with more punching and fewer menus. The basic fighting system is relatively simple. You have a light attack, a heavy attack, and a grapple. You can also block moves. From these basic building blocks, you string together combos. You can also use objects in your environment as make-shift weapons, or equip more deadly weapons that you buy from merchants. All weapons have limited durability, so you have to manage their use carefully. 

As you chain together attacks, your heat gauge builds up. Once it reaches a high enough level, you can unleash brutal attacks. When I say brutal, I mean it. You smash faces into walls, stomp on heads, and break limbs with abandon. None of this is shockingly brutal - it all fits into the over-the-top aesthetic - but it can still make you cringe. 

Each character has three distinct fighting styles. Kiryu’s default is the “brawler” style - a balance between speed and brutality. He also has a “rush” style, based on boxing, that favors mobility and dodges. Finally, his “beast” style is slow, but devastatingly powerful. Majima’s default is the “thug” style, which acts as a balance between his “slugger” style - a weapon-heavy stance - and his “breaker” style - a speed-based style that makes use of dance moves.

You can switch between styles freely, and all of these styles have their place. If you are surrounded by enemies with weapons, the faster styles will allow you to avoid being hit. The heavier styles are needed to bring down the big guys. So far, I spend most of my time in the default balanced styles, but break into the others in special situations. The brawler style, in particular, just feels satisfying to use. 

Defeating enemies and playing minigames both earn you cash. This can, of course, be spent on items such as food or clothing. More importantly, cash can be spent on your moves. Each fighting style has a number of upgrades that you can purchase, arranged in a series of rings. The cost to upgrade increases dramatically between rings. For instance, abilities in the first ring cost 400,000 yen to purchase. Abilities in the second ring cost 2,000,000. Abilities in the third cost 30,000,000. The prices just keep increasing from there. If you want to master each fighting style, you are going to need a whole lot of dough.

After fifteen hours, I am hooked. I feel like I have only scratched the surface of what Yakuza 0 has to offer, but I can’t wait to get back in there and keep digging. If, like me, you’re curious about the series, Yakuza 0 feels like the perfect point to jump in. As a prequel, you do not need to know a thing about the characters or storyline to appreciate what the developers have crafted. Going in, I suspected that I would like these games - I just didn’t know that I would like Yakuza this much.

Yakuza 0 launches in North America on January 24th, for the PS4. 

[dontouchmyraf]

In Conversation with David Casavant

INSIDE THE RAF SIMONS ARCHIVES

We live in a time when vintage and designer archive pieces is the new cool, a treasure gem that we are all competitively racing be the first to get the rarest of rarest. With the emergence of specialised platforms like Depop, Ebay and Grailed, its unquestionable that we are all in someways hooked with the notion of scrolling infinitely on these platforms in hopes that a rare garment would somewhat magically appear.

However, when we think of an archive filled with the works of Raf Simons, the first person we knew who we wanted to talk to was David Casavant. This happened when we first found out about David in a three minute video titled ‘ David Casavant shows off his Raf Simons & Helmut Lang Archive ‘ that was filmed by Highsnobiety. We were obsessed with the video! 

Throughout the video, you could easily establish the fact that the scale of his business, the size of his team and his clienteles was as intimate as it could get. The real, genuine and humorous 30 minutes conversation we had with David Casavant covers topics on his admirable internship under Carine Roitfeld, on why he loved working with Kanye West to his first awkward meet-up with Raf Simons. 

Xia Yi : Let’s start the interview. I don’t want to go into the uninteresting stuff but I wanted to hear it straight from you, how did you started buying clothes to collect?

David Casavant : I started collecting when I was younger through E-bay, I was probably around 13 or 14 years old. When my dad would take care of me, he would always give me allowances to spend on food but I would save most of it and spend all my money on clothes instead of food. I was obsessed with buying clothes on Ebay, it was a whole new world that I was so fascinated by. It consumed me that I ended up doing it on a full time basis. 

Xia Yi : How was your experience like studying in Central Saint Martins? I am aware that you dropped out halfway?

David Casavant : Well, I moved to London to study Fashion Communications in Central Saint Martins around 2004. I think Hywel was still the head back then. Is he still the Head of the Fashion Programme now? 

Xia Yi : Yes, Hywel Davies still the current Head of the Fashion BA programme.

David Casavant : When I was in Central Saint Martins, I realized from an early stage that school wasn’t really for me because I was already working as a Fashion Assistant to Carine Roitfeld for CR Fashion Book. I just thought that I already had a job and I was earning money. I thought that I already had the ball rolling and I did not want to pay more money for school and to pay unnecessarily more to live in London. The thought of going back to school after working, only made me realized that I should just continue working. That’s when I decided to drop out.

Xia Yi : I read a few articles that mentioned how your collection only really expanded when you started working during your early days?

David Casavant : You could say so. While I was still an international student in London, I took advantage with the fact that I was in London. You know this, you actually can’t work as an international student due to visa and immigration restrictions. This was when I started interning with British Vogue, GQ Magazine, and AnOther Man for free to really just put myself out there. I think it was when I started working with Carine Roitfeld for CR Fashion Book as a fashion assistant, doing almost everything. I already had a growing collection of archive pieces then, I used to dress up in different pieces that I owned everyday to work and Carine Roitfeld would always compliment me. She loves it!

Xia Yi : It’s definitely the most flattering thing to hear especially when Carine Roitfeld compliments you. I guess what you really meant is that she opened your eyes to understand vintage clothing and made you become so aware about the resale market.

David Casavant : Definitely, she was the one that really pushed me to kickstart all of this. Knowing that vintage garments and the whole resale market was primarily meant for women, that gave me the idea that I could actually do it better with menswear. There wasn’t anyone really focusing on archiving menswear back then.

“ KNOWING THAT VINTAGE GARMENTS AND THE WHOLE RESALE MARKET WAS PRIMARILY MEANT FOR WOMEN, THAT GAVE ME THE IDEA THAT I COULD ACTUALLY DO IT BETTER WITH MENSWEAR. “

Xia Yi : You brought up a really good point, the first thing anyone thinks about when vintage or archive is mentioned will always be some sort of designer dress or handbag. It was never associated with menswear. I am curious to know now, what was it about Raf Simons that you love? 

David Casavant : I loved the whole movement that Raf brought into menswear. He gave menswear a brand new silhouette. I think what he did has never been done before in the world of menswear during the 90s, menswear was stagnant then. It was really when Raf brought street dressing and made it high fashion. He made it fashion, really.

Xia Yi : The significance the name, Raf Simons now carries is massively influential. We have probably reached a point where even ordinary consumers has become so aware about him with mass collaborations and the emergence of streetwear brands like Off-White by Virgil Abloh and Yeezy by Kanye West taking obvious inspiration from the works of Raf Simons. Do you think that Raf would still remain as relevant as how he is now to the future generation?

David Casavant : I think his clothing is more relevant than ever at this point. Like what you said, with streetwear brands like Off White and Yeezy taking direct inspiration from Raf Simons, it only proves how his designs were so ahead of his times. It’s an almost odd feeling, when I think about it. Its as if his clothing gave birth to these brands.

Xia Yi : It must be a weird to feel that way when you own so many of his pieces. Wait, how many Raf Simons pieces do you currently own, up-to-date?

David Casavant : I honestly don’t remember the exact number, I almost lost count but I think there is at least a thousand pieces.

Xia Yi : Your relationship with every single piece of your collection is obviously extremely personal, has that evolved over the years? Especially with how your business has turned into a full-blown operation, do you think that has affected it? 

David Casavant : You know I think it’s really funny when you asked me on how that has evolved, because when I first started out I was so obsessed with wanting to collect and archive each and every one of it but when all of this started to become an actual business, I saw it as merely just another fabric. Another piece of clothing with a label. It’s really just another fucking piece of clothing after all, if you think about it. I realized this pretty early on that I could not continue being this obsessive. I just thought that If I  am going to remain this obsessive and protective over it, I would never be able to loan it out. I just knew that I could not live with that sort of mentality anymore.

“ IT’S REALLY JUST ANOTHER FUCKING PIECE OF CLOTHING AFTER ALL, IF YOU THINK ABOUT IT. “

Xia Yi : In previous interviews you did mentioned specifically that you don’t collect clothes just to preserve them, you want it to be seen, you want it to stay alive and remain functional. Does this mean that you disagree that fashion is art?

David Casavant : No, I actually do agree that fashion is art because we grew up in a generation where the lines between art and fashion is continuously blurred. We have become so accustomed to seeing fashion photos uploaded right next to an art photo on Pinterest, Tumblr or any sort of platform on the internet. It’s something that fashion has taken so much of its influence from as well, so to say that Fashion is not Art is just untrue.

Xia Yi : You are known to work closely with Kanye West and he seems to be a huge fan of your collections. How different was it to work with him compared to other more well known celebrities? In an interview you had with Dazed, you mentioned how it was refreshing for once to be able to work with a celebrity who actually understands the history of fashion and to have someone who actually understands the context behind these archived garments.

David Casavant : It was really inspiring to be able to work together with him — he really knew his stuff. It was just rare because he was such a cultured individual and I found it really impressive that he genuinely understood the context behind each and every collection of Raf Simons. We eventually maintained a great relationship then, ever since we met for the first time. 

Xia Yi : Do you think Kanye is misrepresented in mainstream media?

David Casavant : Oh yes, for sure. He is greatly misrepresented in today’s media. He has always been represented as this insane person but in actual fact, he is a really nice and smart individual.

Xia Yi : Have you both worked together in any ways?

David Casavant : I do help him out for his Yeezy collections. I would usually help him out when it comes to the process of ideation and conceptualisation. I would sometimes bring in a few vintage pieces to show him and our discussions would just take off. 

Xia Yi : What about Raf Simons? Have you gotten the opportunity to meet him? Considering that you collect his clothes for a living.

David Casavant : We did meet once during summer. We did talked and had quite a conversation but I always found the relationship we had just weird. Yet, there are times when he would call in to loan his clothing from me.

“ WE DID TALKED AND HAD QUITE A CONVERSATION BUT I ALWAYS FOUND THE RELATIONSHIP WE HAD JUST WEIRD. BUT YET, THERE ARE TIMES WHEN HE WOULD CALL IN TO LOAN HIS CLOTHING FROM ME. “

Xia Yi : I find it quite amusing that Raf calls you once in a while to loan his clothes from you.

David Casavant : Its strange! It seems odds that he doesn’t document or properly archive each of his pieces especially when he has done so much throughout his careers.

Xia Yi : Was there any chance of working together with him?

David Casavant : Nope, not at all. But I like to think that it’s because he originated from a time when there  was a distinctive hierarchy in fashion. I mean, why would Raf want to work with someone like me who is just here to put on a pony show. He is right up there and I am just right here.    

Xia Yi : You never know what would eventually happened but lastly, thank you. That was the last question of the interview.

David Casavant : Alright, thank you!

[symbianosgames]

The following blog post, unless otherwise noted, was written by a member of Gamasutra’s community. The thoughts and opinions expressed are those of the writer and not Gamasutra or its parent company.

Leaving Lyndow is a short (about 45 minutes) first-person adventure game. The game is a prequel to our upcoming open-world game Eastshade. While set in the same setting as the larger upcoming title, it features distinct mechanics and story. We announced Leaving Lyndow on January 11th, 2017, less than a month prior to its release (official trailer). To avoid confusion with Eastshade, currently still in development, we released a short video explaining the reasoning and history behind the small titles' odd format and development. As outlined in the video, our reasons for creating such an odd and small game were three-fold:

As an inexperienced studio, we wanted experience shipping a title before shipping our much larger and more costly-to-develop title Eastshade.

We wanted some supplemental funding, and suspected a small game would be equivalent work and more effective at fundraising than a crowdfunding campaign. More on that later.

We like short format games, and were deeply excited to make this one.

So the title seemed like a good idea from both a business perspective and an artistic one. The idea for Leaving Lyndow came to me after playing a short experimental game called Home is Where One Starts by David Whele. I enjoyed the 30 minute vignette of a title, and found its brevity refreshing compared to the much larger time commitment of other games. As a consumer, I feel there is a lack of games in this format, and I found myself inspired to make my own. Apparently many in the general gaming public are not as enchanted by short games as I am. More on that later.

Leaving Lyndow released to mostly positive reviews, scoring a 74 on metacritic (sadly one point below a green 75), and 84% positive steam reviews at the moment. Between myself full-time and a few part-time contractors, development took over six months, which was about double the time we planned for it. I'd like to reflect on the debacle as a whole. There are two perspectives in this postmortem: Reflecting on the development process, and reflecting on the business strategy and launch. Since I'm a near one-person show, these undertakings are blurred together for me, so I am going to mash them both into this one article.

Small Game Instead of Crowdfunding

First and foremost, did this thing work? Did it better prepare us for Eastshade's launch? Was it an effective fundraiser? Additionally, was it effective at building brand?

At this point I'm entirely certain that had we gone on to release Eastshade as our first title instead of this small thing, it would have been a major disaster. Between localization, learning the Steam back end, finalizing all the pieces, running a closed beta, I can only imagine how much more difficult doing all that for the first time would have been with a game ten times as large and complicated. For example, shortly after launch I accidentally removed the soundtrack from the Steam depot, causing everyone's soundtrack to vanish from their computer as Steam automatically updated the removed files. Even worse, after some reports, I discovered there was a bug in the localization system, where somehow it had generated a few duplicate string ids scattered throughout the games' text. This resulted in some dialogues feeding you the wrong line. The only way to fix it was to go searching through the localization tables for duplicate ids, give the duplicates new ones manually, and hunt down which string was supposed to be in the corresponding text field. This was especially difficult when I don't speak the language of the localization I'm fixing! Now what if that had happened with a localization table ten times as large? I've since pinpointed exactly how those texts got jumbled and now all that's sorted for Eastshade. I'm glad I've learned the ropes of all this before launching our 4+ year development title.

As for fundraising, for what is now our first three months of sales, our revenue is about $10,000 USD across both itch.io and steam. That more than recoups what I paid out to contractors, and now every unit sold is slowly paying me back for my own time spent. I expect this figure to continue to rise throughout the year, and we are currently working to bring Leaving Lyndow to consoles. So I don't expect it to expand Eastshade's production budget substantially, but over time, I think it will eventually pay for itself handily.

I believe Leaving Lyndow has been an effective marketing tool for Eastshade. Press are far more likely to cover a release than they are to cover a crowdfunding campaign, so the visibility we've gained form this release has been substantial. Moreover, thousands of people have gotten a taste for the Eastshade world now, and as far as I can tell they are hungry for more.

This review is telling, even despite its misinformation (Eastshade is not the full version of Leaving Lyndow. They are two mechanically distinct games). They felt the game was too short, gave it a thumbs down, but despite this they are still interested in our next game! Hooray!

Hiring PR Help

As the Leaving Lyndow project was first and foremost an exercise in releasing a game, I knew it would be an excellent opportunity to try working with a PR company. This project would be small enough that if it wasn't a good fit, the damage wouldn't be too great. When choosing a PR firm, I think a size match is important. Granted, its not like I've done a lot of business with tons of PR firms, so know that this is a bit of arm chair speculation on my part. But it seems to me that if you're small, and you get a medium or large firm, your launch campaign likely won't matter much to them. Not because they're evil, but its just the dynamics of human psychology. You can't possibly occupy much space in the firms' organizational focus. Conversely, if you're a big studio, you wouldn't want to risk your launch campaign on a small firm that doesn't have the bandwidth you need for your larger production.

I couldn't have asked for a better fit than Player Two. @CharleneLebrune knows the games media landscape well and is current in the protocols and practices of games PR. With her help we managed as widespread coverage as we could have hoped for, being covered by the likes of Kotaku, Polygon, and PCGamer and many many more. I can't tell you how relieving it was to know that the publicity front was being handled in those most stressful months leading up to release. I think it'd be completely insane to attempt doing all the press liaison, review code distribution, and inquiry responding on top of normal development crunch in the final month. Moreover, PR is its own skill, and to do it effectively takes study and practice like any discipline. If you're indie like me you're likely juggling enough disciplines as it is, and this discipline is easily outsourced. They don't need to be trained in your tools or familiarized with your game architecture to be effective and save you tons of time, so I think it makes a lot of sense for an indie studio to contract a publicist.

A Rapid Prototype

As I've been working on a large game for the last 3.5 years, sometimes my brain tries to scheme a way out. "What if I just made a smaller game instead of this one!" And for a minute I fool myself that if I could only start fresh with something "smaller" things would be easy. But, alas, this is usually not the case. Every game seems smaller than the one you're working on. Only when you delve into the depths of production do the complications in your designs show themselves, and once more you are reminded that the pan is hot. But this time the smaller idea I had seemed so assuredly small, and my inspiration burned so hot that I couldn't help but succumb. Cautious as I am of the wicked allure of a smaller game, I told myself I had one night to produce a prototype. If I didn't have a skeleton prototype that could be played start to finish by morning, I'd end it right away. By 6 am I'd accomplished just that. And rather handily! I knew it could be done. And once I'd discussed it with my co-designer girlfriend, we verified the sanity of the idea from a business perspective. Even with all this sanity checking, my scheduling was off by double.

Using Eastshade's Build

It was tempting to create a new Unity project directory and code Leaving Lyndow from scratch, but I decided to branch the Eastshade build and commandeer the game logic. Its easy to forget how time consuming simple things like pause menus can be, and it was nice to have scaffolding to work from. The added benefit to this was that I was able to polish things like the options menu, and easily take those improvement back into Eastshade. I'm not an accomplished programmer, but I already find myself having those all-too-programmer temptations to create things anew, ensuring elegance and bloat-freeness. While a noble sentiment, I have found this persistent desire to remake and refactor to be dangerous. I have no doubt it is the surefire way to become a better programmer, but I also have no doubt it is the surefire way to never finish games. Sometimes one has to decide: Do you want to become a better programmer and be totally satisfied with your architecture? Or do you want to finish the darn game? The very essence of Leaving Lyndow's development was the later.

Spending Extra Time on Optimization

During the development of Leaving Lyndow, I spent a great deal of time on optimization. In fact, There was one shader I spent almost two weeks optimizing alone! It was one of the most prevalent shaders in the game (the vegetation shader), and ended up increasing frame rate by about 30% across the board. I'm very glad I did this. I think a smooth frame rate is something players appreciate a lot, and I'm convinced it tremendously improves the perceived production value of your game. Often the first criticism of a bad game is its poor performance. All this groundwork in optimization will carry through to our future games.

Game Length

From a developers perspective, I feel game length is a bit of a paradox. The harder you work to hone the experience, cutting the weak parts, streamlining the tedious actions, the shorter the game becomes, yet the better what's left of it is, and consequently the greater the loss is felt for lack of content.

Leaving Lyndow, for its shortness, is fairly dense. Much to the sorrow of many players, your avatar cannot run. Yet despite your movement being slow, the game's pace doesn't feel slow, because within under an hour, you experience six entirely distinct environments, and five unique music tracks. Compare this to other adventure games, where you might see the same number of environments and hear the same number of songs but over the span of six hours. I believe its this density of audio visual content that makes each moment you spend in Leaving Lyndow exciting, but its exactly this density that collapsed the game into such a short play-time. "I liked it! Why didn't you just make more?" the gamer says. "There was more," responds the developer "but I trimmed it down so that you would like it."

It is said that "too short" is the best criticism you can have, but in Leaving Lyndow's case, given the ubiquity of the criticism, I think it may indeed have actually been too short. I think there's a reason people don't make short games. I don't know if the market's bias against short titles is self-perpetuating, and we are working against arbitrary length standards, or if we're rather working against ones inherent in the medium, but one has to deal with the perception no matter the cause. If I could do it all over, I'd have made the game longer. In addition to adding more content, I would have worked a bit to maximize length with the content we had. I think the content we had could have sustained interest for longer than I'd thought. Moreover, there is a certain startup cost to create a new design, and once you get things working, additional content is a bit cheaper. We could have increased the price to compensate, given that most agreed the price was fair for the time they got. They just wanted more time.

Not Launching With a Discount

Given the low price point of $3.99 USD I decided to release without a launch discount. I thought discounting such a low price was unnecessary. After all, 20% off would have only been 80 cents less! In hindsight, I have a feeling this was a mistake. I can never know for sure how much damage it did, but I suspect we would have more than sold enough extra copies to compensate, and more importantly, we would have had a better chance of holding in the "popular new releases" list.

This is all speculation, since Valve's discovery algorithms are a guarded secret, but myself and a few of my fellow developers feel that staying in the popular new releases list is very important not just for launch performance, but for the long term revenue of your game. Leaving Lyndow seemed to be just on the threshold of selling enough, because we kept popping in and out of that list for the first two days of launch. Despite the fact that the list primarily brings traffic during the first week, to this day (3 months after launch), our placement in that list is responsible for a whopping 2.3 million impressions, and 20% of our total page visits. I can imagine if we held firmly in that list instead of popping in and out, we may have sold twice as many copies at launch, potentially improving our standing in Steam's algorithms forevermore. Given the average steam user's trepidation to ever purchase anything full price, I think that little green discount swatch in the corner of our thumbnail would have improved our conversion just enough to make all the difference. I need to say it again, this is all my personal speculation, so take it with a pinch of salt, but you can bet your boots our next release Eastshade will have a launch discount.

Confusing Customers and Press

I don't think this was so much a mistake we could have corrected, but rather an inevitable consequence of doing something as bizarre as we did. Leaving Lyndow is a short game that looks similar to Eastshade at first glance, is set in the same world, is only 45 minutes long, yet its totally self-enclosed, is not a demo, costs money, and has nothing to do with Eastshade mechanically. From a branding perspective, does it get more confusing than that? We knew this would confuse people, so we went through great lengths to make things clear in every press release. That's also why we went through the effort of making that talking head explanation. I clarified often on twitter as well. Yet many still mistook Leaving Lyndow for a demo. Fortunately most reviewers conceded it was nonetheless decent value given its polished content and low price point. But there were a few who had it in their head that short things are demos, and demos are supposed to be free. This was mildly frustrating, but all in all the vast majority of people didn't complain, enjoyed their experience, and were excited about our next title. So I think the confusion was a small price to pay, but I feel this point deserved mentioning for those of you who might be considering unconventional business plans.

Character Face Designs

The most devastating mistake I made was the design of the character faces. I had in mind to do them part monkey, part human, and devised the cultural quirk that they cover their mouths (largely to avoid lip syncing the jibberish greeting lines each character dispenses when you speak to them). I have no problem with them looking hideous. I think we as a species would likely be better off if we minded looks less. My issue with them is that for all their hideousness, the design isn't creative, clever, or even iconic. Its bland and hideous at the same time. We likely would have done better to go full anthropomorphic, and put any other animal head on (an animal that isn't already so darn close to human anatomy).

To make matters worse, the jaw line and mouth is an extremely important feature in facial recognition, and it became even harder to create distinct appearances for the characters. I assure you the challenge of face design without a mouth is more expensive and arduous than lip sync. This shortcut turned out to be not a shortcut at all. Combine this with the fact that almost everyone is bald, and you have a recipe for bland characters that all look the same. I'm working with an amazingly talented character modeller, but I handled the face designs myself, and character design is something I'm rather bad at. I should have found someone else to do it.

I've worked myself into a bit of a bind here with our island of ugly characters. I have decided I'm going to rip the band aid off right now, and we'll be adding new character types for Eastshade. The monkey folk may remain, but they will only be a percentage of the population, so at least we have some variety and interest. It might be a bit strange lore-wise for all these new races to arrive suddenly for Eastshade, but I hope it can be forgiven for the sake of future world-building.

Conclusion

While we will never again make a game this short, we accomplished many goals with the Leaving Lyndow project. Most importantly, it vastly reduced the chances of our next big release becoming a spectacular train wreck. Some of the development work we did will carry through, and our code is somewhat more battle-tested now. Our brand got some attention, and thousands now await what we do next. I learned how to use the Steam back end, and got a little better at talking about our games. We're well on our way to breaking even on the production costs, including my own time, and I'm hopeful the long tail and console release will help fund future development. Hopefully another thing we learn from this is how to port and certify a game for console, which still lies before us. One last thing I personally got out of Leaving Lyndow is the confidence to know this indie thing can work. All these years I've felt very uneasy about the future. I still feel uneasy, as it comes with the territory when you are running your own business, but not as much as I felt before, and its nice to know that when we ship a game, money does indeed come into the bank account.

Quick Facts

Released February 8th, 2017

45 minute play time

$3.99 list price

1 developer full-time, 4 contractors part-time

six month development time

Revenue for first 3 months on PC: $10,000 USD

Game engine: Unity

Thanks for reading! Find me on twitter at @eastshade where I tweet about mostly gamedev stuff, or check us out at eastshade.com.