#(it was a little funny)

[calamitoustide]

just laughed at a larry tiktok maybe i'm not that changed from my fifteen year old self

[im-getting-help]

okay so. TW, suicide.

i was talking to one of the plants in my windowsill, like one does, and she's having a rough time, poor thing. so i get near her and i say "i like you, please don't die :( 💕"

awkward pause

"i wish someone said that to me at the time"

and then i laughed like a maniac. i don't think that helped the plant at all. nor my neighbors.

[bi-buck-coded]

Me watching a serious emergency: 😢😢😢

Subtitles: (Buck and Eddie grunting)

Me: 🤨

[powderrblue]

just got hit with the "music you havent listened to in three years" jumpscare

[c0smic-horrorwerewolf]

I just realized a moment I had last year that feels like it belongs in the “Sir this is a Wendy’s” category.

So I was on a field trip to the planetarium, a very normal high school student field trip.

We were watching a movie about mammals in the movie theater that they had there. There was this person sitting next to me…

Halfway through the film, they leaned over to me and they started going off about how raccoons are mammals and one day they wants to milk or raccoon and try some raccoon cheese.

I said absolutely nothing and pretended. I didn’t hear it. 

I was sitting there like:

[fearsomefivefanclub]

Photo I got awhile ago of when I saw Quackerjack at a wrestling match. He was really loud about it but no one really noticed him.

[insert-game]

still thinking about the woman we sat near in the conveyor sushi place that was bragging about how cultured she was about the food and japanese culture all the while all the people making the sushi were speaking korean

[clementinecoastline]

look its tsukishima kei and akiteru from the hit sports manga haikyuu!!

[miniaturecatmentality]

guys I just found the greatest video on the internet

[butchfalin]

the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again

[cork-run]

the names of certain mob-involved trans women have been changed

[calamitoustide]

what if i make another web weave with texts I've received what if i

[im-getting-help]

okay so. TW, suicide.

i was talking to one of the plants in my windowsill, like one does, and she's having a rough time, poor thing. so i get near her and i say "i like you, please don't die :( 💕"

awkward pause

"i wish someone said that to me at the time"

and then i laughed like a maniac. i don't think that helped the plant at all. nor my neighbors.

[inkskinned]

she's singing in another room and my dog is asleep at my feet. my grandma asked me why i haven't found a man yet and i laughed. oh, you know. i like my house clean.

my girlfriend is also my man is also "my partner" if i'm in a professional setting. yesterday we went to a ren faire and a man mimed at me - you're together? and at my delighted nod, his baffled, you're gay? made me laugh. a woman with rainbow hair said i love the two of you together. you're both so beautiful it's absurd.

my dad introduced my partner as my "..... friend. or whatever" the other day. he knows we're dating. in the same way, i was never able to get my sister's husband to stop saying that's gay like it's 2008. he still uses the word fa***t, and my sister's defense of him has always been well, he's just kidding.

my lover and i dance to old music in a tiny kitchen. we judge new music together and take food critique very seriously. we watch love is blind before we fall asleep and agree that if they had a queer season, it would be bloody but also make for excellent tv. of fucking course queer people would know someone for only 2 weeks and agree to get married. what are you saying.

at a bar with friends, a man puts his hand on my wrist. got a boyfriend? and yes, i do have a boyfriend, she's amazing. i am texting her while i wander around a gas station named after geese. i am visiting a swing state for a wedding. in the candy aisle i overhear: she's actually like a lesbian it's disgusting. two teenage girls with packaged sandwiches in their hands, giggling. no literally, like. i'm not, like. okay with her being there while we're all, like, naked and changing.

my girlfriend and i tailgate, drink gin and cider out of cups. from the frat group beside us, a man corrects himself with one of his friends: bro, i mean, nonbinary entity, and it makes everyone around him laugh, myself included. he razzes his friend the same way i would have killed for at 19 years old - like nothing happened, he continues: you apply sunscreen like an alien. he does a little sassy (and fairly accurate) dance interpretation of the motion. his friend is laughing so hard they're crying.

i am lucky, i live in a safe neighborhood in a safe state. my masc passenger princess comes up from DC. i drive her for an hour to where all the leaves are a violent arrangement of color. we walk along the trails, letting autumn into our blood. in this part of the state, there's a lot of pickup trucks and trump signs. when we chastely kiss before getting into the car, i accidentally make eye contact with a woman holding her child's wrist. she looks disgusted. she looks fucking pissed.

two hours later my girl and i are eating dinner on a patio, soaking in the last warmth of new england sun before the chill of winter sets in. we are giggling and trying to talk through plastic vampire teeth. at another table, i see a young woman sit up straighter. i watch her watch us. she blushes and takes her partner's hand from across the table. shy, like the taste of evening has just become something deeper.

it's worth it for this moment, i think. my lover is still humming the same song she's been singing for four days straight and i don't want to kill her for it. her guitar is beside my bed. her toothbrush is in my bathroom. in a few moments i will make us lunch. we are lucky enough to have found each other. it is lucky enough to be in love.

[mojaves]

just remembered the time my d*d forgot my birthday earlier this year