#(im happy to get my friend these ofc but im just. as i said earlier: 😐

[catt-crossing]

why are crocs fucking sixty dollars 😐

[hazshit-hotel-hater]

Ok a rant about Cerri bomb and how much I HATE her

In the addict music video she was a very supportive friend of Angel and I loved her in the pilot! I wish we got that supportive best friend to Angel in the final product, but unfortunately she is a woman in a vivziepop show.

She’s AWFUL now I can’t stand her, the way she tried to make Angel relapse was so weird like pilot cherri wouldn’t do that! I also really dislike her design it has to be one of my personal least favourites (not the bottom though nothing is worse than alastors design to me) she isn’t enjoyable to watch anymore she had potential if she’d only been introduced earlier! Imagine if she was introduced in episode 4 and played the supportive friend she was originally supposed to be!

And GOD I hate her ship with pentious, it was SO RUSHED, so poorly done and the ship isn’t very “so cute and in love!!” When you remember she showed literally NO interest in him until Angel brought up that he has 2 dicks, and this is supposed to be a romantic relationship we CARE about.

Cherri didn’t need a romantic relationship she needed CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT we needed to get to know her! If you’ve only seen the show and no other Hazbin media at all (which shouldn’t be required you should be able to get all your info FROM THE SHOW) you’d barely know anything about her character or who she is. I wish we got pilot cherri bomb, and that she got a design update, and that her and pent’s relationship was either taken slower or didn’t happen at all

You silly little creature you, you have me writing in my notes app instead of Tumblr because I’m about to go crazy!

Cherri Bomb. More like Cherri what the hell happened

Anyway I’m gonna tackle this one thing at a time, and also forgive me if I word something weird I just woke up an hour ago at the time of writing this.

First thing, design: I personally quite like her design since it very loosely reminds me of Iris from Ruby Gloom with ofc the one eye, the very rowdy personality and kind of the hair, but those are very broad design choices and its just me remembering some random girl I thought was silly but like Iris did it better.

Okay now second thing and then we go into literally everything else: My blog has been an angry pit of despair for everything in Episode 6 as of recent so let’s tap into that again 🤏 just a little. I am going to give my classic centrist opinion and say I don’t mind Cherri Bomb all that much but I absolutely get why people dislike her, and I mean this in the kinda way as people who dislike… Idk Fukuchi from BSD. WILD jump in fandoms but gimme a second. I can’t 100% say that Cherri Bomb in the pilot was better than the series since we have no idea if maybe for some reason she was intended to be like that offscreen, but judging by the pilot and “Addict” alone, it’s very unlikely. I could see her maybe being a bad influence at times and being like “Loosen up dude we’re in hell and its Friday” or something (idk if they have Friday in hell but everyday is probably Monday 🥁) but overall I feel like she’d end up apologising for it. However on the other side of things, I can understand why Cherri did that in Episode 6. Of course not to say this is okay, but Cherri is still very clearly not in the “redemption” mindset. She’s happy the way she is and is really only focused on certain aspects of issues. We see her comfort Angel in “Addict” but thats basically the extent of it. Cherri’s definition of “self-care” seems to be less of actually taking care of yourself and more like just letting go and having fun instead which really only gives a momentary fix to the issue, much like how substances can be abused. Do you kinda see what im getting at? Cherri offering Angel drugs while he’s trying not to relapse is not okay, full stop. But her reasoning as to why makes a bit of sense for her purpose in the show which is honestly not much, since, as you said, she is a woman in a Vivziepop show.

To my knowledge Cherri is like 30-ish years younger than Angel Dust in Hell experience so she’s likely not reached a point where she’s gotten tired of how things work, as well as the fact we don’t really have much of an idea on her backstory aside from that random shot in “Addict” of that guy in a puddle??? But generally she seems to be in a better position than Angel is, so there isn’t really any reason for her to want to change, yknow? I will say I do like exploring characters that are good friends while still being bad influences at times, but I’m going to be honest I feel like thats really not what Angel needs right now. I wouldn’t be as pissy about it if she did end up apologising afterwards (I’m just gonna headcanon she did for my sanity) but even then as Angel’s friend we don’t know like… anything about her. I would’ve really liked to get some kind of callback to the pilot where Cherri mentions she thought Angel was dead until the random Sir Pentious turf war, and maybe we could see her actually being worried about Angel again instead of those 3 frames in “Addict”, but Hazbin is rushed and I guess we don’t have time for that. And also YES it would’ve been great to see her in Episode 4 and actually doing something but again, Vivziepop is boring.

Going forward I would really like to see Cherri, if not become a patron, at least try to be a better friend and sure if she wants to keep doing stuff she can keep doing it, but just don’t encourage other people to relapse. It is very simple.

SIR PENTIOUS! About Sir Pentious, this is going to be incredibly short. I don’t hate the ship but also I’m not really crazy about any of the Hazbin Hotel ships? I also don’t really hate any except for the genuinely horrid ones but thats basic sense. I absolutely agree with you, Cherri does not need a romantic interest. Romance doesn’t always = growth and growth should not always = romance. She needs some genuine character TLC and I hope to god she gets some in season 2. We’ve only seen a few minutes of her so I have yet to give a firm opinion, but as of now I’m just hoping they do something actually interesting with her instead of just alluding to Sir Pentious ship. Also the penis thing. 1. What was that, and 2. It made me and my friends briefly pause to sex Sir Pentious and come to the conclusion he is likely transgender/hj

TLDR; Please give us a fun Cherri Bomb again. ☹️

[arikaluvss]

-(OT7) How bf!Enha met their s/o-

Parings: Bf!Enha x fem!reader, bf!Enha x afab!reader Genre: fluff, established relationship (???) Warnings: none! just a full fluff

-> Lee Heeseung !! He met you in a dating app (well I guess you could tell it was an ldr??) You and Heeseung haven't met personally, so after a year 'n a half on the long distance relationship, he wanted to meet up and you agreed since you also wanted to meet him. The day of meeting up you got dressed nicely and went to the airport waiting for him, while you were waiting someone suddenly back hugged you, you turned around immediately and saw Heeseung infront of you smiling ''Hi my love'' You tackled him to a big hug and look up at him since he's taller than you. ''wow..your really here now..You look more handsome in person, love'' you said while touching his face softly because you couldn't believe it, the love of you life is right Infront of you right now. ''I'm here now my love..I will spend every single second of my life beside you, forever''

-> Park Jongseong !! You met Jay in a photoshoot you had for Prada (HEAR ME OUT. I feel like jay would fit in a model au smthg) You we're almost done with you photoshoot but Jay approached you, ''Hi Y/N..I was wondering if I could get your number? I want to be friends with you, you did a great job earlier too!'' you eventually gave your phone number since why not? Then the next day he would text you asking you too meet up and ofc you agreed after that you both would go on multiple ''friend'' dates, you started developing feelings for him, I mean who wouldn't? he's an absolute husband material. After a couple of months of the continues dates, he confessed his feelings and you reciprocate his feelings. You both started Dating after that, I could imagine him taking you out on a fancy restaurant. Would not hesitate to announce his relationship with you on his socials.

-> Sim Jaeyun !! You both met through your brother, Jake was your brother's bestfriend. (I had no ideas left huhu I wrote sun,hoon and jake last) Your brother needed to go travel to another country for business purposes and needed someone to look after you, so he called his bestfriend; Jake, to look after you for a week, Honestly for your case you were happy since you like Jake, He was a big tease and would flirt with you any chance you get since he just loves seeing you flustered (he likes you btw !!) you both go on friendly dates and after that your feelings started growing more and more each day. One day he left a note on the table saying that you to meet him at a restaurant and to dress nicely, after you read it you immediately dressed up and rush to go to the restaurant only to see him at the table with flowers in his hands and he confessed his feelings to you, asking if he can court you, You were surprised but happy. After a few months you finally decide to answer him and make him your boyfriend.

-> Park Sunghoon !! (this one is a bit long than the others!) You both met at the ice rink. (actually this one is quite cliché but idcidc) Sunghoon brought his little sister to the ice rink, while they were ice skating. He needed to buy something so he left his sister there for awhile, but then his little sister was confused were he went or where he is, she looked at the whole area but sunghoon wasn't there, so she started crying then you saw sunghoon's sister crying sitting on the ice and you approached her, ''hi..im Y/N, why are you crying..?'' the little girl explained that she cant find her brother so you helped her find her brother andd after a bit you both found sunghoon waiting in line for something, the little girl ran to him immediately hugging him ''Sorry sis..I forgot to tell you..Thank you for helping her..Ms Y/N'' after that you would see the both of them almost everyday in malls, parks and restaurants, one day when you saw them again in the mall sunghoon approached you and asked for your number, ofc you gave it, the next day he would text you and asking if you would want to go on a ''friend'' date with him, months past by and finally he confessed to you.

-> Kim Sunoo !! You both met through a mutual friend! Your friend, Wonyoung introduced Sunoo to you, in a party. You and Sunoo got along with each other instantly, (+Wonyoung introduced sunoo to you because sunoo had a crush on you since highschool and wanted to talk to you but he was shy so when he knew wonyoung was your bestfriend he begged for her to help him get closer to you) after that day you both would talk more, you both decided to be seatmates, eat together at lunch time in school. Sunoo flirts with you sometimes and you would get shy everytime, He takes you out everyday and always sends small gifts, you were developing feelings for sunoo, every night you would look at you and sunoo's picture together and smiling nonstop. Eventually you confessed to him and you both started dating after!

-> Yang Jungwon !! You met Jungwon in a Cafe where you work at (ORR it could be at the garden!!! I can make a separate one! i just feel like it suits him ykk) Jungwon was popular in your neighborhood because he was handsome and cute, but he studies in an all boys school so girls cant see him much, well as for you, you don't focus on that stuff, you focus more on studies so you don't really know about this ''jungwon'' guy, One day when you we're working, screams were heard from outside, you look up to see a young, handsome and cute guy, you immediately fell in love (love at first sight ?? OKAYY I'm not saying anymore!! I'm actually making this a smau orr!! written, I'll post spoilers soo please look out for it !! <3)

-> Nishimura Ni-ki !! You both met in a gaming cafe !! You two was teammates in a match (you saw his user in his screen soo, he also knows) You and Ni-ki was well known for being the best players in valorant, you actually wanted to talk with him and possibly play with him but you were having second thoughts but now was the perfect time, after that match ended, you nudged ni-ki and told him how amazing he was in playing, and praised him for his skills, Ni-ki also compliments you for your skills and asked if you both can be mutuals, since he wanted to play more with you. You immediately said yes and gave him your number. You and ni-ki would always talk nonstop and playing, After a few months you both started dating.

© arikaluvss

[deepdeanvsweston]

ik you’ve mentioned that DSS is your least fav book in the series and i’m wondering what you would change about it?

im not the biggest fan of it either tbh :)

Oh SO many things buckle in team. Ok so roughly in keeping with canon:

- first, Hazel wouldn't mention that Daisy was dead in the first chapter, nor would it mention it on the blurb

- for me it took the shock out of it so much that I wasn't even surprised she came back

- so it would be this secret until. Well. She actually throws herself in and then the Grief Pages

- just as a side note, when I first read the chapters where Hazel was grieving, I remember thinking 'surely Hazel should be sadder?' because emotions always tend to come through really nicely when Robin writes her. I like to think that Hazel was telling herself 'Daisy wouldn't like me moping about and wailing in the casebook about it'

- anyway

- I'm ALWAYS sitting on the fence about whether I like the moment they reveal themselves as detectives/police officers (I can't quite remember what they call themselves)

- first read I hated it I was like 'what are you doing!!!' but on a re-read I did think 'oh this is very fifteen year old behaviour'

- I really enjoyed the 'theyre 1930s teenage girls so have to be covert in their operations' aspect of MMU, so when they did reveal themselves as 'police officers' and were conducting interviews I did miss those vibes

- so I'd possibly change that bit, I'm not sure what to though

- I'd change how the Damina kiss played out

- I think it was too on the fly personally

- I would have written as Daisy goes to Amina's room for something. And then when she comes back, Hazel describes her as pink and distracted and how she keeps touching her lips. And Hazel writes in her casebook how 'Daisy has lipstick on her lips that wasn't there before but knew Daisy wouldn't appreciate her pointing it out' sort of thing

- I'd change nearly the whole ending

- it's always always bugged me (and made me sad if I'm being honest) how everyone was paired up at the end. I've spoken about this before, but just to reiterate, I think it was bad that a series aimed at 9-12 had all the characters pair up at the end of the series, as if all happy endings included a partner, and especially considering the speed at which it was done

- Halexander I get, it'd been building for a while. Damina, for the same reason, though I would have liked more development. But George and Lavinia I actually had to put the book down because I was speechless

- so yeah I'd do away with George and Lavinia completely (apologies George/Lavinia shippers 💔)

- as for Halexander like I said I get it it had been building

- but what I'd have liked to had seen is the bit where George is like 'has Alex really not said anything?' I would have somehow implied that he was being respectful of Hazel's grief, rather than just being nervous to confess

- and then Hazel would go seek him out instead, and ask him, and ofc he'd say yes

- but then Hazel would tell him 'i can't do this, not right now' and I like to think it would be a sweet moment where they agree to be 'friends for the foreseeable future'

- the whole 'Daisy reveal' thing bugs me too, I just didn't enjoy the way it was done. I'm possibly biased and pinning more on these relationships than there actually is, but I think Bertie and Hazel should have got to see Daisy alive together

- No do you know what I just didn't like the way Daisy actually 'died' either. If we're keeping with canon, she had to die because of the Grief Pages, but maybe I would have had Daisy pulled overboard secretly at night without Hazel realising, maybe about halfway through the book (so earlier than in canon)

- and so Hazel still has this glimmer of hope that Daisy is out there and takes charge and perseveres to solve the case with George, Alex and Amina

- which in my professional opinion would have made the 'madam president' and Hazel telling Daisy she made herself president more meaningful

[mdverse]

hi!! i feel like you may have talked about this before but out of curiosity, could you explain/talk about your kurt’s tattoos? :3

hi yes ofc i would love to!! i did in fact talk about it ages ago but i am always happy to say more and u picked a great time to ask bc i've been reworking all of the vb au tats so this isn't just a repeat of my previous post about it (except i never finished my official redesign of kurt's sleeve yet so i can't actually show u my reference)

for his sleeve i went the floral route with flowers that represent the most important relationships in his life, so it's intertwined ivy leaves and forget-me-nots wrapping around his arm (whether or not they actually look like the flowers they're supposed to be is a whole other thing lmao i think i get sloppier the more i draw them)

ivy symbolises fidelity, marriage and friendship - obviously u have to ignore the marriage part here bc this one is for finn and santana (furtana best friends and siblings fr <3)

forget-me-nots symbolise true love and respect, as well as the promise that u will always keep someone in ur thoughts - i always see this one as being primarily for his mom, but i think it probably does eventually extend to the entire hudmelpez clan

i also originally gave him a lil sun on his forearm for burt as a lil nod to you are the sunshine of my life gcv, which is kinda visible in some of the older drawings that have his tattoo but. i recently realised that i chose a really stupid placement for it so im gonna move the sun to his shoulder once i actually update my reference sheets. that being said i am realising right now that i still included the sun on his forearm in yesterday's post and that's devastating to me personally so pls pretend it's not there

and then the newest addition to kurt's tattoos is a very "u have to know where to look for it otherwise i think it's easy to miss it" but i did slip it into yesterday's post so! furtana matching tattoos my beloved let's talk about that one too <33

i think that things are extremely tense between furtana during the earlier stages of burt and carole's relationship (especially between kurt and the other 2) (not gonna really get into this rn bc it's not super relevant lol) so to me they do end up connecting over music and it remains a really important common interest for them over time despite their different tastes (in the sense that like. idk i think as duos they have more interests in common but as a trio they probably don't so music is a big thing for them) (i wish i could articulate this better but hopefully u get it) etc etc so. had to sit down and imagine what each of them drawing an eigth note would look like based on their handwriting (as one does i guess?) and then i figured it would be neat if they each had all 3 notes instead of just the one they drew so. matching tats for the siblings :)

(here's part of my unfinished reference sheet for that lol i think i still need to adjust stuff for the size/placement of finn's and santana's but kurt's is already figured out) (for artistic purposes i did actually change it from my original placement, which was closer to his ear) (i just wanted it to be a bit more visible in drawings lol)

[aperiodtm]

Familiar pt.2 | Sim Jake

PAIRING: (ex)online bestfriend!Jake x (ex)online bestfriend!fem!reader

SUMMARY: Jake has a plan (appearance of jay) (and an unnamed friend for now (?) im horrible at names.)

GENRE: bitter angst, lil crying

WC: 585 (well this was..shitting short.)

A/N: also based on real-life experience.. :)

im thinking of making this a mini-series?..

->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->

okay, Jake couldn't do this anymore. in his defense, he was attached. too attached, even after 6 months.

29 January, your birthday. a day Jake was always looking forward to, just so he could wish you a happy birthday first, which he, much proudly, was successful in for 4 straight years.

well, once some other guy in your school wished you earlier than him. stupid douchebag, he thought.

but that didn't matter when you said his wish meant more and was always first in your heart.

and god was Jake in another spiral, staring at the his endless messages with 'Instagram User' on New Year's Eve.

''what a great year it's going to be.'', he grumbled.

unwillingly while reading those texts, a droplet fell on the very desk he was at. then another. and it kept going, till he had to set that damn phone aside and pour it out.

Jake couldn't do it anymore, he missed you. you were his bestfriend. the one he could talk to for hours, to rely on and vent to when he had a fight with his friends, the one who had such horrible memory that you had to save little things you knew about Jake in a separate note on your phone. Jake found it cute though.

he had felt care, but this was attachment.

this was such a strong attachment, something he cried over so much he felt his heart clench. when he went out after the day you blocked him, he feet the agony when he saw anything that reminded him of you. he was so proud of your friendship he'd show it off to anyone.

and now, after that day, he couldn't focus on anyone but you. that day, did he really see you again?

after being done with all the emotion, he picked up his phone again, and wiped the tears away.

wait, he thought.

he quickly shuffled around his phone, through the same messages, till he got to it. one very specific message.

~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-

| @(username)

| is this ur friend? i noticed yall matching pfps and followed-

| WHAT THE FUCK JAKE THATS MY BEST FRIEND HOWD U FIND HER?

| ok ykw nvm since u already followed let it be js dont talk to her she doesnt know i got online friends

| and DONT unfollow. she'll get suspicious and bombard me with tons of questions if she sees both of us know each other.

~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-

Jake never really understood why you kept your online social life a secret so badly. but he never questioned it further.

until now.

he clicked on your friend's profile. and just stared at the screen. should he do it? but you warned him not to. but he wants to know- no, he needs to know how you're doing. this could be his chance-

''hey, you okay?'' it was Jay.

''y-yeah i..just been thinking..'' Jake sighs and puts his phone away. fuck it, just let it be. maybe he's going crazy, he definitely does not want to mess himself up further.

''tell me about it.'' Jay pauses, sitting next to him. ''is it about her again?''

Jay knew well, as his roommate, about what Jake has been through and how he remembers you time to time.

''well....yeah. Y/N.'' Jake sighs. maybe Jay can give him proper advice? since he's clearly (well, in this aspect) more sane and less impulsive than him. so, turning around in his chair, he faces his older properly.

''okay, so..''

->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->

to be continued!

ive been getting some ideas lately for series ^^ but ofc theyre gonna take long ahaha </3

[strawbrygashez]

strawb if u could please please please write more abt jealous tyler durden 99% its always narrator being the jealous one that 1% is a gold mine

OMG Ikr?? There is not enough jealous Tyler content out there 😭😭😭 what little I have seen of it is so good too.. and it doesn’t feel ooc at all for him in my opinion. Like just because we all know he thinks he is hot shit, doesn’t mean that he can’t get jealous as well. I don’t think he’s particularly worried that someone will just come along and sweep the narrator off his feet and take him away from him one day since he can at least tell that the narrator is pretty obsessed with him (which is such a understatement) but he does get worried when he feels like something is just ‘different’ compared to how the narrator is with most of his other ‘little friends’. He is always wrong bc the narrator is ride or die for him ofc.. ANYWAYS HERE ARE SOME THOUGHTS

•What probably starts making him feel suspicious is if they give the narrator things, if the narrator talks about them more than Tyler thinks is appropriate, if he talks about them too fondly, if they make a plan to hang out one night and Tyler doesn’t get invited, and stuff like that. He doesn’t particularly mind if the narrator has a few pals like Bob and whatever especially if he has met them and knows their ‘deal’. It’s just if the narrator seems a little too happy while talking about them is when Tyler can get a little irked.

•He will say shit like “Well have fun with your boyfriend” if the narrator says he’s going out for a bit to hang out with someone. If he’s dating the narrator, he will say ‘new boyfriend’ instead of just boyfriend and he will say it in a tone where he sounds ‘done’. If it’s before they date then he might say it a bit more in a way where the narrator thinks he’s just teasing him. He means both with annoyance though. He genuinely doesn’t know why the narrator would rather be anywhere else in the world when he is there to keep him company.

•A lot of questions will go through his mind about the person he finds himself jealous of. He’s so confused about what the narrator is seeing or getting that he doesn’t get from him. He will analyze the person silently if they are in the same room. He will take note of what the narrator smiles about when talking with them, if they give each other little touches, if the narrator is telling the person things even Tyler didn’t know about beforehand, and etc. Tyler is questioning how is this person any better & what could he be ‘missing’.

•I said this earlier too but he just acts like it’s all fine in the moment if he’s with them. He just smiles but the narrator can see something is off in it or in his eyes. If he doesn’t know that Tyler can be jealous, he might just ignore it tbh and keep carrying on as usual and just will think to ask if something was wrong later. (Which earns him silence, a punch, or vague/snarky and or mean comments.) The narrator would assume that jealously isn’t something Tyler can feel. The way he views him, Tyler is too godlike to worry about ‘childish things’ or to compare himself to others but he’s wrronnngg :3

•If they are dating Tyler is much more mean and stand-offish about what happened. He’ll ignore him or brush him off. He expects the narrator to know what to apologize for. He thinks there is no way in hell the narrator doesn’t know what he’s angry about :/

If they aren’t together he’s still stand-offish but not as much but the narrator can just feel the tension even during normal conversations.

•If someone (that wasn’t a family member) got the narrator something as a gift, he sooo thinks about tossing it out or breaking it. He can pass it off as a ‘don’t bring new things into my house without telling me’ type of thing but he just doesn’t want a reminder someone might be trying to ‘woo’ the narrator. Until he feels comfortable enough to break whatever it is, he will glare at it or make mean comments about it. Like in my mind im picturing a plushie or some small item that doesn’t actually serve anything useful.

He might be a litttleeee nice though and not actually break or throw away whatever it is and just actually hide it somewhere and just say he did. He wants to see his reaction and if they manage to talk it out, he will set it out for the narrator to find later on.

[lovebvni]

confession sunday — i feel like a fake christian

hi!! so i rlly wanted to start making confessions on my blog as a way to let go and put down the thoughts and feelings im having. most of them r toxic and things i shouldn’t be thinking.

this is also an invitation for others to send their issues and let them go and put them down — simply tell me what it is and i’ll try n break it down to explain to u why u need to let go of those ideas! ofc, anons r opened <3

anyways, let’s get into mine bc.. yeah.

i feel like a fake christian.

this is something i’ve been struggling with my whole life — but it is resurfaced when i had a conversation w my friends abt witchcraft n the bible n whatnot. she said something along the lines of “you’re not a christian because you believe witchcraft is okay.”

first of all… what? right before this my other friend said “a lot of people in the bible pick and choose what they believe. for example — christian’s aren’t allowed to eat seafood bc it’s seen as impure” and the same girl from earlier agreed n said “i still love my crab legs” 💀 LMDAOOA

im friends w everyone mentioned in this convo btw, so dont worry. no hate to any of them.

during this conversation, i js agreed with the one, let’s call her sarah, that said believing witchcraft is okay makes me not a christian.

sarah made me feel bad — invalidated in a way. i remember walking out that class feeling fake, like i am wrong for what i believe and i need to remove everything that isn’t said in the most common places in the bible from my life.

FALSE ❌❌ WRONG ❌❌ INCORRECT ❌❌ SEE ME AFTER CLASS.

DUDE TO BE A CHRISTIAN U ONLY HAVE TO DO TWO THINGS

1 believe jesus christ died for our sins and rose again (some say jesus christ only died and rose again)

2 have a RELATIONSHIP with christ

if it isn’t clear already, i have both of these. i’ve known and believed the stories ik the bible since i was so young, and even now i believe them.

and i have a deep rooted relationship w jesus n god — i mean how the hell do u think i even found out abt other deities 😭 about shifting?? through him dude! it’s only by him answering my prayers that im here rn

what im trying to say is that the “normal” isnt always right. i hate churches — they feel like cults, nd i hate when ppl say ur required to do things — ur not. it’s if u want to and between u n god.

i said this to my friend nile earlier — “but like christianity is supposed to be individuality — it always has been that way. hell, even jesus says it. he flipped tables in a religious place bc they don’t have a relationship w god, they r js acting”.

they didn’t want it — they just wanted to b superior. and that’s not what i want — i want to help others and be happy.

that’s it for my confession. i hope this helps and encourages someone else to begin doing the same! sending my love.

[lauranyx]

My Stray Kids Fanmeet Experience

So i saw skz for the first time in real life the other day (jan 202023 to be exact :p) and i wanna write my whole experience so that i can look back at this in the future cuz my memory is shit 😅

It all started last year 2022 around Nov/Dec when bench announced that they'll have a bench x stray kids fanmeet this Jan 2023 (excite excite) so obv i just HAD to get tickets. ITS STRAY KIDS HELLO?

minor detour for some of that extra context lol:

I got into skz mid to late 2021 and ofc it was felix with his deep ass “cooking like a chef” yt short that sucked me in. From then on i just got hooked into their content and just them in general. Really nice to see a grp thats around my age doing something amazing like what theyre doing now.

Anyway! Back to my fan meet xp

So last yr i saw the announcement and got all majorly excited. At first i was thinking of getting VIP tickets. I was actually willing to spend 8k for a fanmeet and a chance to receive a poster from them. But then i saw the lines in bench and i was like,, hell naw! I aint gonna be putting myself through that. Y’all can wait in line for that imma spend my time elsewhere. So i waited for the promo period to get tickets for lower box instead. This was only 4k with a chance for a bye wave opportunity (no physical up close interaction like shaking hands or anything but at least u get to see them closer up). I was totally fine w this since i spend less and since im not going for what majority (who can afford) want, less ppl to deal with/wait in line for.

Now.. i went through s t r u g g l e just to claim my ticket after buying my stuff from bench. Dont really wanna retype everything since ive already shared w my friends so imma just attach screenshots of my rant

(Screenshots here)

Now, after that whole ordeal, is the new year and i honestly forgot there was a raffle. Also can i just say, thank goodness ate girl (for those that dont know ate is filipino for sister that we use even for non relatives.. kinda like noona/unnie) was kind enough to send me my code that night so i was still able to enter my code for the raffle to win a bye wave opportunity. Cuz if not… i wouldnt have seen skz up close😿

Jan 12 day of the bye wave winners announcement: I checked my email around morning and noon; nothing. So i was like ayt, i didnt win. I’ll still get to see skz tho irl w decent seats.

BUT THEN

when i checked my email again in the evening- actually i didnt purposefully check my mail; i just saw the push notif on my phone. Something like “STRAY KIDS WINNER, congratulations!” and I FREAKED THE FUCK OUT. Like OH MY GOD. OH. MY. GOD!! I WON?!?!??? Suuuper ecstatic. Kept squeeling and shit. I could not even.😶😱🤗😵🥴🫠🤪🤪🤪

After i was able to calm down, I immediately let ate girl know if we could meet up earlier so i can get my receipt back so i can have no trouble on the day of the fanmeet when i claim the raffle. She was nice enough to agree and meet up earlier and it was nice that she seemed happy for my win (she also bought lb tix) kinda regretful i didnt try to be friends w her but im shy so whatever. I just want receipt so i can see the bois😛😁😁😁

Cut to day of fan meet. Wait no- actually.. the week of the fanmeet. The monday of that wk is when i met up w ate gurl to get my receipt. Friday was the fanmeet. In between i was tryna decide my outfit (that i dont have a pic of but whatever. i’ll describe it nalang) which ended up being a kinda loose white tank top with a green plaid long sleeve on top then dark grey/black slim jeans. Add in a couple of accessories ( choker, chains, earrings) and we’re good to go. Oh i also had on my hidden high heel highcut black sneakers (or at least i think theyre sneakers; can never remember fashion shtuff)

In case it wasn’t obvious i was fully planning to go on my own since my friends/cousins said they couldnt (busy or broke) so whatever. BUT THEN my friend, day before the fanmeet- night before actually- was like “ hey! Joke lang im actually going to the meet” so i was like “omg yay!” Not like that exactly but yeah. Same sentiments :p

I asked my friend if we could meet up on fri and she said sure. She’ll just be w her friend who got her the ticket.

Now! We can finally cut to the day of the fanmeet. Claiming for raffle winners are from 10am-2pm then theres an orientation @3pm so i went to moa around 12-1230, got my photo cards (chan, leeknow, & hyunjin) and the wristband showing me as a bye wave winner. Went around moa, had lunch in jollibee, waited around in my car for my friend to arrive around 4, 5pm. Ate again in ikea resto then we finally went to the venue.

While lining up we made friends w another stay who gave out some freebies (ngl i forgot her name🥲) she was sweet. I was kinda stupid and decided to split up from my friend (cuz there 2 lines and the one i went to was shorter but my friend didnt follow so 🙃☹️) so i ended lining up alone when i told her that i wanted to meet up so i wouldnt line up alone lol. Anyway, i got inside moa arena went to my seat in lb 221 and got ready for the fanmeet.

The fanmeet started around 7pm (tho gates opened at 5) it wasnt fully packed inside but there were still a LOT of Stay that attended. Tho i think gen ad was fully packed.

Honestly everything happened so fast that if i didnt take videos and didnt see the vids that others have posted online, i woulda forgotten everything but i know i enjoyed every minute of it😁

So first off skz opened w God’s Menu then the host, Sam Oh (who i know of because she used to be on radio and i loved listening to her shows then), introduced them and on the programme went.

The kids played some jenga w missions, whisper challenge, dance replay challange, domino challange, paint a shirt that was raffled out to the audience) call w a fan(that didnt work out cuz of cell service issues) also i didnt quite get that WE had to call the numbers of the phones in front of the skz members so i didnt really try until it was too late. One fan was able to connect tho but it didnt really work out too well. Im glossing over these and might have mentioned them in the wrong order but thats because there are tons of vids out there about these so i won’t go into detail.

At the end of the fan meet skz performed Case 143 and we moved on to the giving out of signed posters THEN my long anticipated bye wave opportunity. So while the poster receivers were getting ready so were the bye wavers. There was an usher of sorts holding a sign for us to recognize and follow to the exit. The staff told us that no pics/vid was allowed😕 sucks but i was planning to sneak a vid if possible. Others also tried im sure of it. I was 15/200 in line. Unfortunately because i was so close to the front and they were ushering us to the stage pretty fast, i couldnt set up my phone to video on time. No matter tho. There was a barrier that was too high for the phone in my front jean pocket to even capture anything so it wouldve failed anyway.

Going up the stage felt so rushed even tho the videos showed that we werent even walking that fast. But it felt so fast that i couldnt even tell you what order the kids were in when i was waving bye to them. Thank god for other Stays tho so imma put their line up here so i can recall my experience better

They were grouped by twos behind some barriers that looked like kiosk stands from left to right (tho we entered right and left the stage left) it went

Chan - Lee Know | Changbin - Hyunjin | Han - Felix | Seungmun - I.N.

We were like 5ft away from them kandhaksbskabxj

Ok so first i saw was IN and i gotta be honest i cant remember the experience 😭😭 id like to say we made brief eye contact but im not sure. I think i saw that he was looking at the ones behind me so i moved my eyes to Seungmin. Again i cant remember anymore so idek what actually happened here

Now Seungmin, bb, i swear we made eye contact and i think i shocked him with my hair cause his eyes widened and mouth opened wider while looking at me aidbsidbdlaj. Context: i have a shaved head. Tho im in the middle of growing it out. My last shave was mid Dec last yr so my hair at this point is about an inch to an inch and a half

Lemme just insert here that i COULD NOT stop smiling

Next was Felix and oh. my. GOODNESS GRACIOUS!!!!! We made the looongest eye contact ever!!! wodbsisbdb SWEAR!! At least 2 seconds! It was glorious~ And his face was just so beautiful and his smile was angelic and he may not be my bias but he lives rent free mehn. Rent. Free. Period.

Ayt so Han. My bb, my bias. I feel so bad cause i think i got so caught up w looking at felix ( making fucken 2 second eye contact) that i think Han saw me not looking at him so he went on to say bye to the ones behind me already😖😣😔😢😭 tho i did try to catch his eyes but no such luck cause i had to keep moving

Moving on, it was Hyunjin. Very brief, my encounter with him. Again i think i spent too long looking at Felix that it just pushed back the rest to skip over me causing me to miss meeting eyes with the rest. But Hyunjin 👌 also he be the tallest of the grp

Same thing with Changbin tho i really did try my best to look at them whenever they were more or less directly in front of me. The size of this man tho! Batak! So buff 💪 i just wanna feel… all of it👀 in a non sexual way ofc😶 unless? 😏 jk (or am i🤔)

Anyway!

Lee Know is so pretty like wtf . But again he was already looking at those behind me😞 and i had to keep the line moving so.. sad=me Lee Know is my bias wrecker pa naman🫤 i really love his relationship w Han whether its just friends or whatever it is I just love seeing the interactions. (Ngl tho,, the fan edits of minsung that i see Stay post? Mmm is something alright)

Bang fucken Chan DOE! Maybe cuz he’s last idk. But he made it a point to look at me in the eyes😍🥰 made me soo happy~ and his smile! And dimples! My gosh he’s just adorable☺️😊🫠🫠🤭 i just wanna be your friend man. Actually i just wanna be friends with all 8 of them bdkajxhak

Moving on.

After all this we were ushered out of the arena and I decided to loiter a bit outside before i went back to my car. Fangirled like crazy. Then promptly went back to the hotel. I fangirled again when i saw my cousins at the hotel roofdeck cuz i couldnt just keep this in mehn i had to let it out and share my joy.

Later in the night i found out that skz stayed a bit longer to jam w the crowd while Doodle was playing. Kinda jealous but i got to see them up close so im content for now.

The upcoming concert in March tho.. i NEED to get sound check and vip tix. I just gotta💪 heres to me, hopin’ i get the tickets i want🤞🤞

[namuneulbo]

week eighty

this week was good mentally ig? idk my ocd has been really nice to me lately and my compulsions havent been as bad as they usually are which is nice. i hope this continues for a while at least.

monday was happy for me. wearing my fav bowie shirt helps too. its gotten a small spot now that didnt go away in the wash and ive frantically been putting a bunch of cleaning chemicals on it and hoping itll go away bc shit was expensive + its one of my fav shirts i own + its one of my comfiest shirts + ratio + ur mom.

we had a grunting workshop at school w the singer of finntroll which was super epic. hes so cool lol and i was just super excited ab getting the proper learn it and get feedback in real time so ik im not doing something bad to my vocal chords and throat and all that. he said i sounded good while we were trying some stuff out as a group so that boosted my ego a lot lol.

now,,,, exciting !!! thing !!!

me and my friends came back to school by the end of lunch break and who do i see as we walk in...?

w, of course!

i had said hi to him earlier iirc but i might be mixing up the days, anyways, i somehow managed to just walk up to him and talk to him. nothing crazy, i just asked him ab the paramore cover band stuff and being like “yooo, is it still happening or..?” and he was like “oh yeah, i still really want to do it, im just very busy atm” and i was like “ah, thats fine, i can help u out w anything if u want to. its fine if it gets a bit postponed too!” and he was all like “ah, thanks!”. that wasnt perfectly transcribed bc ive honestly forgotten a lot of the things that were said but those were the key points ig. i just got so nervous when talking to him lol i was just staring into his eyes the whole time which is super rare for me but ig i was so focused on what i had to say that i didnt even think of it but now all i remember is how green his eyes are and how cutely he smiled when he thanked me and i also feel like ive stood way too close to him although i dont think i did in reality but like considering all i remember are his eyes it feels as it ive stood too close. we had a cute lil bye sesh and then i ran to class. everyone was there already and i just sat next to c and smiled frantically. my friends had seen me walk up to him and thankfully they just walked to class wo me bc i wouldnt have done so,,, okay w them behind me, watching me try to talk to this silly lil guy. anyways, i explained as much as i could considering we were still in a room full of ppl who know this guy lol. i showed how shakey i was to c and they laughed ab it. i remember going to fill my water bottle and just jumping up and down in excitement the second i locked the bathroom door and my hand shaking like crazy as i held my water bottle under the streaming water.

tuesday! the workshop continued! afterwards we were in a smaller group of people and got more personal feedback. he said i did it really well and that i have the technique down so im super happy ab that.

wednesday was iconic. there was this party for the uni part of my school that ppl had been talking ab lots. as far as ik it was like a lil party for just the uni students where they were performing for each other. w was playing there even though hes not in uni yet. he played w his tribute band (which ik bc i saw him listening to a playlist w the name of the party and it was just filled w the police songs and it was made by the bassist in that band, who i later followed on spotify too hehe hes so cool and his music taste is so good bro?). so thered be that performance thing party and then an after party in our school party place thingy in the basement.

since it was wednesday, it was music quiz as well so i was ofc going to that. i knew i could get into the after party so i decided to freshen myself up a bit extra before going out for the extremely tiny chance that w would be at the party.

for context, w is NOT a party person. he doesnt drink and he also just,, doesnt ever go out really?? hes just like me fr but anyways, i thought today he might actually be there bc of the performance thingy. like yk, he might as well go? i thought?

so i first go to a short pregame at ds place. i got there so late that i didnt drink anything before going to the bar. i watched them speedrun a drinking game before we left to the bar.

once we were at the bar we had to sit further in bc of how full it was. i prefer sitting closer to the enterance bc the volumes lower, anyways, vs parents were there which was quite fun ig haha they were really nice and his mom was so cute so it was fun. the quiz this week was so hard though, the songs were so weird and the trivia qs were just a bunch of statistics that no one would know. i was so hungry so i decided to not drink anything until the afterparty bc i didnt want to throw up. vs dad bought us salmiac shots though which i obviously could not refuse, theyre my fav. afterwards, i went home and devoured some cheese and tomato sandwiches and then i went back to ds place. we stayed there until we got a green light to leave and go to the after party.

earlier at the bar i had asked c how big of a chance it would be that w would be at the after party. she confidently laughed and said “like, 10%. absolutely no way hes there, sorry girl!”. i try to persuade her being like “hm but think ab it!” and shes like “yea, its a bigger chance than other days but dont get ur hopes up too much”. i ask the same thing of l. they say “oh god, no way. he wont be there. 95% sure he wont be there. no way.”. personally, i thought there was like a 40% chance hed be there.

we arrive at the after party. me and l were by ourselves pretty much. we scan the place and no w is to be seen. i get a bit disappointed although nothing crazy since i knew he wouldnt ACTUALLY be there but yk, i still had my hopes up. me and l sit down in a couch by the bar. i turn to them and kinda pout being like a bit sarcastically overdramatic and say “not even ds here!”. linnea looks at me and points behind me w a small gesture and goes: “look”.

i see d walking confidently towards the bar. n and w walking softly behind him. me and l just stare at each other w wide eyes and the second they walked out the room we burst out in laughter bc both the chance and the timing was so crazy. we get up to see where they went but dont stalk too intently. we went back to the bar room after a while and sit down on another couch and talk w s. s is super talkative and fun so hes very appreciated when ur feeling a bit lost at parties and gatherings. we sit and talk w him and i see d, n and w walking back in the room. they walk past and i stare lovingly at w. they sit down on the couch me and l sat on earlier and w sat right where i sat. ty god!

i can see w nicely from where im sitting and its like a side angle but like far enough back that he cant see me staring unless he turns his head so im taking this opportunity to STARE. i analyze his outfit. hes wearing black shoes instead of the usual white nikes ones or the yellow vans. his long brown hair falls cutely under his hat. his black tee is once again hugging his biceps so ,, attractively. at one point he throws his head back and keeps it there for a while. he was probably tired. it was 1 am tbf. i feel quite bad saying its hot in a way bc i do feel bad for him if he was just feeling tired and wanted to go home but like,,, bro put his whole adams apple on display for me, a firm lover of big adams apples, i just couldnt help but die on the inside. so hot. i had never noticed how big his adams apple was until that. new feature to admire hihi!

i watch him scroll through facebook and insta as his friends talk w others. im far away enough that i cant tell what the posts r or anything. hes so interesting. ive always seen him as super talkative and outgoing but hes not really? i think he might just be an introvert whose social battery had run out. i think we might be quite similar socially actually. i do think hes less shy than me, he seems that way at least but i do think hes similar to me where i just have better and worse days and somedays im super talkative and talk to random ppl more easily and somedays im quite quiet and barely talk to ppl ik. hes also like, alone, a lot. i feel a bit bad for him. i think it might be by choice? he does talk to ppl, its not that, but he tends to walk around school alone. ig its bc hes not actually in school but just doing civilian work.

i slept a total of four hours before my shift the next morning. two at night, got ready in one hour and slept for another two before leaving for work. i was surprisingly awake at work though. like, yeah, i could feel the lack of sleep but it wasnt terrible. i did some grocery shopping afterwards.

friday! last official day of school. i just have my graduation left. we didnt have anything important in the morning but i went to school to see if w was there. he wasnt in the morning TT i followed l to the shop and they went to buy coffee then went to the library to study. i went back to school for a short bit to see if hed be there, he wasnt. i talked to c briefly and told her ab why i was in school so early and she gave me a lil look and scoffed but it was funny. i went home and drank a pepsi and got some studying done before heading back for lunch. during lunch break i see w for the first time. i was too shy to say hi though.

our schedule said the afternoon was a surprise so no one knew what we were doing. we all met in the main hallway of the music building and then went out. they left while i was in the bathroom so i had to run and catch up w them. theyd gone quite far so it was quite embarrassing running all across the town square. everyone was guessing where we were going as we walked. i walked w c, l and l. l joked that we were going to see one of the schools alumni play in the park and i believed him for a good minute before they told me it was just a joke. i guessed we were going to play mini golf and i was right lol. we played mini golf and it was so hot outside bro. i was wearing a black hoodie and black jeans so i was DYING. it was fun for a bit but i dont really enjoy it so it got boring quickly since it was so hot too and its just too repetitive and w a big team it takes ages to finish.

after that we had a music quiz (or two in a way, one w tv show themes and one w normal songs) in the park w some ice cream. i was sad we didnt get to pick teams but i got to be in the same team as c at least. we took one last class group pic together too :’)

there was this small culture event starting in the evening. it was a festival that lasted all weekend. it had a small participation fee and it was even cheaper w the student “pay what u can” ticket. i only went on friday and saturday bc the only event on sunday was the same art exhibition they displayed the entire weekend. i was pleasantly surprised by friday bc i had higher expectations ab saturday but ended up liking fridays programmes more.

on friday, me and l got there around 7 pm and wHO DO I SEE AS SOON AS I GET THROUGH THE DOOR??? not w BUT both of his parents. see, ive stalked his parents instas LIGHTLY. i felt weird ab going too deep but ive just seen the pics hes tagged in from his parents instas so i just know his parents names and what they look like. i knew his mom had some project there bc her name was on all of the posters. i ‘fangirl’ a bit to l and we go on w the exhibition, enjoying the epic art. the first programme is a 30 minute sesh of video art on the screen. i love video art a lot, its always my fav when at a museum. the first one was actually the one ws mom made, or well, she was the performer in it and i was just staring bc she looked SO YOUNG. she has gray hair but in the video it was blonde and she just looked so youthful i was questioning whether i was tripping and just seeing things. shes such a cute lady. it was a really cool video of her doing,,, interpretive dancing? silly gestures? in the forest. it was so pretty. afterwards she held a little speech and it was really interesting and agh such a cute lady like actually so loveable. i love humans sm.

the second video was a video of someone manically vacuuming while dressed in underwear. it was silly but it was nice w something less intense in-between.

the third was quite a short one of a robot speaking ab how it doesnt feel feelings and stuff. kinda scary.

the fourth one i cried at lol idk if it was bc i felt emotional or if it was eyeliner getting into my eye or the bright light coming from the screen but i cried lol. it was another forest video. a person standing in the forest, trying to rip their sweater off but not managing to do it. there was a repeating phrase in swedish in the back but i cant remember the exact quote but it was something like “taking off the body that is you”. so beautiful.

id say the last one had the most elements to it. white (like, literally, fully white clothing, hair and makeup) person walking around in unsaturated landscapes. v pretty.

afterwards there was a dj thing that we decided to skip to go to the bar. we went to see a rage against the machine cover band but i had to leave quite early bc i was so socially drained and also, i forgot my ear protection so i was scared to stand there wo it. im so scared of getting tinnitus, esp as a musician.

saturday! i met up w e in the early afternoon. shes got a summer job at h&m and im so jealous. we went to some garden thrift shops (?) in the older part of town. such pretty gardens and i ended up getting a dark blue flannel and three glass bottles to put flowers in. v happy!

we later went to a café and chatted for an hour or so. i had an iced latte and a mudcake and it was so yum ! we then went walking around some shops and then went out for ice cream from the ice cream stand. theyve changed to the yucky soft serve and im so sad. only mcdonalds has the good soft serve nowadays TT

we spent the last hour or so at my place and did nothing really. i just touched up my makeup and gave her a try-on haul of the flannel. i feel really bad in a way. im so sure she likes me and it feels so mean now that i have a crush on someone else. i liked her a LITTLE. like i was a bit intrigued by the idea back in september but she didnt seem to have that then. i do think she deserves someone who gets as much butterflies as she does when theyre w each other though. ive realized thats usually the best way to make me realize whether i like someone or not. i need butterflies! such a good feeling!

in the evening me, c, l and ls ‘friend’ e went to the event again to join a queer culture quiz. we SUCKED, it was truly humbling. e was super nice and it was fun getting to speak english for a bit. after the quiz i joined c to the store to buy some food. i didnt get anything bc i wasnt THAT hungry and i knew wed go out for food later anyways. we met i on the way there and then again in the store. c and i sat in the park while they ate their food and then we went back to the venue. we missed some performance thingy but i wasnt too interested in it anyways. we came just in time for an elvis impersonator. it was surely,,, something. me and c were both very shocked over the ,,, quality... the thing is it was supposed to be satire but like it was just,,, actually bad. the costume was cool though. we then listened to some ambient music woah. i thought it would be a bit different but it was alright. c had to leave earlier bc she got overwhelmed by it and me, e and l left once some more ppl started leaving. nobody seemed to enjoy it that much. we stood outside and talked w s for a while. at one point a bunchhhh of ppl started leaving which was quite funny to watch happen.

we left after a bit and we went to get fries and the hot guy was at the cash register!!!!!!! super happy. me and c fangirled a bit over how hot he was.

we ate the fries in the park and i was feeling a bit woah ab the fact that we were IN the park so late at night. its a big park and its kinda known for being sketchy at night but we walked out unstabbed so id call it a success.

lastly, we went to the bar. it was filled w ppl and the festival held its after party there. it was basically a rave so i didnt really go to the dance floor but i stood outside passively smoking for hours instead. we were kind of awkward bc no one wanted to go up and talk to ppl. i suggested we couldve gone and talk to h and s and their friends or c and d and after suggesting c and d, c (my friend c, not this guy c) scoffed and went like “what would we talk ab w c and d? smoking weed?” and i was like “yeah? lets smoke w them yo!” and then they just ignored it lol but i kept talking ab going smoking w d throughout the night and i think i was the only one who found it funny. good thing i was sober bc i think if i wouldve been drunk i mightve even actually walked up to d and been like “yo,,, ik weve never exchanged a single word before but ur really cool, love ur bass stuff dawg (+ i have a massive crush on ur drummer friend), wanna get high?”

i left after a while bc i got bored bc my chingus didnt want to talk w anyoneeeee. fell asleep and woke up w a cold and its so bad atm. my entire body hurts and im so weak. work was so bad bc of it and idk,,, i might have to call in sick next shift. well see.

ive been listening to a lot of the police this past week so obviously...

sotw: the police - every breath you take

[moonchildstyles]

I know older h has comforted his girl a couple of times but her being scared or something happening to her and he literally bolts to her he cants see or hear anything he just want to be near her :( “don’t hurry h I’m okay no rushing please?”

if he thought for even a second that she as in danger or in a bad situation he would be ssosososo so scared for her :( like maybe she called him on a night out w her friends and she got a little too drunk and now she doesn't really know where she is like her friends dragged her to this club shes never been to before and its a in a sketchy area and her friend knew this guy at the club thats maybe trying to get them more drinks and y/ns over it and a little nervous but shes in that state of drunk where its all good everything will work out!! so she texts h like ":?))))) idk when I'll be home bc im at this club ive never been to before and I want to stop drinking but this guy keeps buying us drinks but imm sure we'll go home soon just wanted u to know:)" like shes assuming hes asleep until her phone starts going off and hes calling her so she steps outside and h is all where are you are you okay??? don't drink anything he gives you y/n where are you????? and shes all woah!!! im okay im fine im a little drunk and im at this club and like im tired but the girls aren'y ready to go yet so we'll be out a little later its all okay h:) and hes like just a little conflicted bc she sounds okay but he knows that when shes drunk like this she can just like kind of let things go and go with it all ben if shes in a bad situation but he doesn't want to be that boyfriend that cuts it all short when shes having a good time but hes sosososo worried and "will you please send me your location sweetheart? I just need to know youre safe" and still on the phone she ofc does as soon as he sees where she is hes like oh.....oh no shes....she needs to come home or hes ab to go sit at a bar w her in his sweats bc if the reputation of that bar hasn't changed he remembers it from his college days and that is not the place to go when you want to have just a normal fun Saturday night thats where u go to get into some trouble and hes just worried about her sososo worried so hes just "u said you were tired sweetheart? if you want I can come pick you up and take yu home? don't have to wait on the others to be ready!" and hes just trying to coax her into being okay w the idea and she perks up like really?? you'd do that?:) and hes like yes ofc ofc let me come get you and I'll stop and get you some food too! and hes already tugging on his pants and some shoes and shes all excited now on the other line like really!!!! yes yes please:))) iv want to see you:) you can meet my friends:))) and hes like yeah yeah ofc :) but he really doesn't care he just wants to make sure shes okay and safe with him and before he hangs up the phone he makes her promise to stay at that bar and wait for him and that she doesn't drink anything she doesn't order herself she doesn't care if its from one of her friends she doesn't need anything they give her:( and shes all bubbly and happy still excited to see him so shes like okay:))))) and when he finally gets to the club hes sooooo excited to see her and before hes out of the car he can see her saying bye to her friends and waving off some guys he doesn't recognize and shes running out to see him and shes so excited climbing in the car and she smells like the clubs a little bit sweaty and alcoholy but still traces of her perfume she left the house w and her watermelon hand lotion and hes just so happy to see shes safe:( other than a little drunk shes exactly how he left her earlier in the night:(

[mikeyelistsukasa]

HELLO

SO

May I request a Hanakou oneshot where Hanako feels insecure about being Kou's boyfriend, thinking he can get something much better so Kou comforts him??

Thank u 🤭

Ah cat ofc

My first hanakou writing (took me while to make that ugly banner)

Daily hanakou🧡❤️

Insecure hanako!

It was a basic day hanako said to himself

Exept he is all alone

In the bathroom

Waiting for the the next day to start so he can see his boyfriend kou again

For some reason this time it felt like a WEEK has passed and not 4hours

So he decided to go take a walk at the garden to clear off his mind

While he was outside he was not able to think straight because all he could think of is kou

He barely started to visit for cleaning duty with yashiro

Because he was too busy hanging with another ghost

Or sometimes he leaves earlier with yashiro to go somewhere fun

He mumbled to himself.

„Ofcourse. Whats so fun in hanging out at school“

Was he not good enough?,was he getting boring? He hopes that this isn’t the case

He wished that he could also go outside with them. To the beach.park.Restaurants.

But he just HAD to be cursed by not being able to leave the school

He didn’t even realize that the sun is starting to rise

He was too deep in his awful thoughts

But after snapping out of it he went back to the school into the girls bathroom

„4 more hours“

It’s Friday so they had a short day today

Just as all the kids started to enter the school he was on his way to greet both of them

He didn’t see yashiro „probably is late“ he thought to himself

But then his eyes landed on kou

He was about to approach him until he saw him

Mitsuba. One of kou‘s friends

Guess he was faster than him..

Not wanting to „disturb“ these two he decided that he should go.

„2 more hours….should i?“

He was unsure if he should go visit kou

He did miss him so he went

„You’ve got to be kidding me“

Why is He there again.

He is so damn CLINGY

He didn’t try to make a move on kou though right?

A small panic ran through his mind

And without thinking straight he just went up to these two

They both look at hanako

„Oh hanako! How are you? Ive missed you!“

Mitsuba just stayed quiet not wanting to say anything to the other ghost

Missed him huh? If he really did then he wouldn’t have avoided him so much

„Uhm yeah hey kou.im ok.ive missed you too„

„Oh by the way is it okay if we won’t do the cleaning duty today? Me and yashiro promised to meet up at her place today“

Again?.

How long will this all keep going?!!?

„Ah well can’t you like dunno skip it on another day? You know its very VEEERRRY lonely being allllll alone here~“

„Oh come on you wont die from boredom. And besides its pretty important to me.“

„Fine fine. I have to talk to you later anyway. So I’ll see you at lunch“

„A-actually i promised to go take pictures with mitsuba at lunchtime“

Hearing that made hanako snap on the inside

He quickly turned around to the pink ghost giving him a death glare

„Is that so?…“

„I-I UHM ACTUALLY HAVE SOME THINGS TO DO dont hurt me SO SORRY KOU WE CANT MEET UP UHM BYE“

This sudden reaction made kou startle a little

„uhm bye? See you.“

„Soooooooo still busy?????“

„Well not anymore hah“

„GREAT“

He hugged kou tightly happy that he can spend time with him

This made kou blush a little by his sudden hug but he still hugged back

„Can you let go? People are starting to look weirdly at me“

„Just five more minutes❤️“

As expected kou went to the bathroom to meet up with hanako

Just as he entered he was already greeted with a kiss on his cheek

„Hahha you should’ve seen your face!“

He was right kou‘s face looked super funny. He was red like a tomato!

„YOU DAMN BASTARDS THATS CHEATING“

„Nope. No it wasn’t ~“

Kou just mumbled some light hearted curse words while hanako was laughing

„ hahahh…ah Ive missed this“

„What do you mean by that?“

Crap

Hanako frowned and took kou‘s hand

„Listen this might sound selfish from me but…“

Kou was feeling intense at this moment

„I’ve been feeling as if im not good enough for you“

Ok help the poor boy he is about to have a Heart attack

„Maybe you should find someone e-„

Kou quickly grabbed hanako‘s other hand

„DONT YOU DARE SAY THAT“

Hanako was taken back by his sudden rising voice

„Hanako.you mean a lot to me.i don’t know what made you feel that you aren’t good enough but i will do my best to make you never EVER feel like that“

These words almost made hanako tear up

„Its just. Why would you be with someone who can’t even leave the school“

Kou just suddenly hugged hanako

„I understand what you mean.mitsuba also told me how much this suck-…no this is isnt about him right now.“

He pushed hanako slightly to look him in the eyes

„always stuck to the school or not.i dont care.ghost or human.i dont care. Ive fallen for your personality.and all the adventures we’ve had“

„I love you and only you hanako“

Hanako was speechless

„He just hugged him back but this time more tightly

„I know idiot.i love you too“

Thank you for your request! Hope i left you satisfied as always! Please visit again <3

[lemon-sugarcoats-nothing]

Happy fucking birthday to me Ig.

My mom earlier today asked my brothers and I if "we'd be okay with" her drinking again, but "with a limit". We didnt know how to respond so we all just gave unsure, half-hearted "oh- alright?"s and moved on. She swore up and down that she wouldnt be getting drunk but she'd be drinking.

Well she's throwing that out for tonight because "[her bf] did something i didnt like so i texted [her best friend] about how im not sure how much of his stuff i can take, and he saw and left" So now she just told us she's going out to get trashed. She claims she isnt gonna be driving, she's going to be back later (honestly prefer if she'd stay at a friend's house but i digress.).

She asked if "thats alright". We all didnt want to respond. Obviously not. Stop asking us for "permission". Then when we responded with even more unsure "ok", she said "i feel like everyone's disappointed in me". My brother tried to do what i usually do in this situation and comfort her like "no no its alright :(". I said nothing bc ofc we're disappointed.

Who wouldnt be? She said she was done drinking the last day of Jan., Swore up and down she was done drinking, one week later she has a friend drop off a 6 pack, two days later she says she's going to drink again ""with limits"", and now she's getting trashed. Yes. I'm VERY disappointed. OBVIOUSLY.

I'm mad, im upset, im scared for how she's going to come home like, I'm tired and I just want her to stop making these flimsy promises.

I turn 18 in 3 hours and 20 minutes. Happy. Fucking. Birthday.

Update to my last vent post:

My mom claims she's not going to be drinking again once the month changes, and she said that if she drinks again this month the last time it's going to happen is Tuesday.

We'll see. 🐝

[tuzesdays]

hi this is horizonandstar! im a sideblog and not sure how you'd feel just me reblogging a screenshot of your tags and respond that way but anyways! i am in your askbox!

yeah its kinda sad when fics get dropped. for my case specifically, the next chapter came out later than my usual update schedule due to a mix of back to school and chapter being uncooperative in writing. i also made a sideblog which also slowed me down by a lot because back then, the only times i could talk about the fic was when it updated, and i felt like i was going to explode if i didnt share my thoughts, so

ive never actually seen subnautica aus before! the first one i found was Leviathan's Song which made me go autism creature on it and i knew then i really really wanted to write a subnautica au fic. ive since then occasionally check the tags to see if any more subnautica aus dropped, and there's 2 so far that i like and another that i would like to start reading

tbh my aus is just me going "put the blorbos in a situation" which usually ends up placing them in a pre-established setting. also! what are the parts thats relevant to your circles interests!! curiosity is tugging on me and id like to know if youre cool with that!

yeah ofc!!! subnautica, borrowers, and pokemon are all Relevant to my friends (and by extension my) interests!!! imo we really need more of subnautica, the isolation factor and what ppl usually associate the dca with mixes really well. I've thought about writing my own, but I feel like its kinda cheating to use other people's mer!dca designs and I'm not confident in making my own so... eh. Maybe one day.

as for borrowers and pmd (ESPECIALLY pmd), I have no idea how it would work but the idea is fun. little guy living in the walls, the mouse to moon's cat? sick, awesome, love it.

i did see that you were talking about specifics to the pmd au earlier and I gotta agree with that one person - it's much better to have character pokemon set in stone so you're happy with it as the author. Doesn't really matter what the reader opinion is on that because we're not the ones writing it! Do what makes you happy! Happy author = more writing = happy readers anyway.

all that said i think ur ideas are cool and ur writing is a super fun read

[heyitsyn]

Manager!Seijoh

a/n: im a seijoh stan and theyre my little plant babies

for more seijoh content, check this masterlist out!

this is so long oml i hate myself

theyre an actual boy band istg

lets be honest, they probably thought you were just another oikawa fangirl

they thought you just wanted to be closer to their captain bc you were another delusional girl who wanted to live out her fantasies

lmao im not trying to be salty

but when you just stared blankly at oikawa tooru after he called you a beautiful flower,

stageplay hinata calling you a mugwort

the team just about threw themselves on your feet

tbh you werent really there to get a boyfriend or for oikawa

you just needed an after school club and the other teams already had managers

the only sport that didnt was the boys volleyball team

imagine why

you were actually a little wary, since you knew of oikawa, being a first year yourself, and you were aware of his psycho fangirls who could probably kill you

but you needed a club that would last you for the next 3 years to graduate

it was kunimi who actually recommended being a manager

you were in his class and you noticed him sleeping in the morning so you gave him your energy bar

‘thanks’

you shrugged and smiled

thats why he tolerated you more than others

you were nice and you were the only one who noticed his tiredness, even the teacher left him alone, and did something about it

sometimes, you even gave him an energy drink

‘can you tell me why youve been so tired lately? i dont think ive seen you wake up until lunch’

he opened the snack and started munching while replying

‘early morning practice for volleyball is still a big adjustment. our captain demands us to be there 6 in the morning sharp and if we’re even a minute late, we’d have to run laps. like for every minute youre late, you have to run those amount’

oh my why is kunimi talking so much

but i love kunimi and first year seijoh boys rights in this household is valid

you furrowed your eyebrows

‘but yall are still growing and you need all your sleep. if i were there, id yell at your captain’

he grinned slightly, imagining your short height beating up their captain

‘meh. you want to be our manager? i saw you looking at the clubs board yesterday and we dont have one so you could take the opportunity and beat him up then’

ofc you agreed bc kunimi was best boi and you just wanted him to have enough sleep for once

after class, he waited for you to finish packing up and when you finished, yall left the classroom

until another guy with a spiky hairstyle joined you and you noticed him as the guy who sometimes came over to eat lunch with kunimi

‘oh, hello l/n-san’

you smiled gently

‘drop the formalities, kindaichi-kun. its only fair.’

he nodded before walking beside kunimi

‘kindaichi, l/n might be our new manager’

the onion head excitedly looked at you

‘really?! yes! so we dont have to fill our bottles ourselves anymore!’

kunimi glared at him and slapped his stomach

‘shes our manager, not our maid’

you laughed but placed an arm on him

‘its okay. i was a manager for my middle school volleyball team so i know a little bit about being one’

the two shared a look

god, they really hit the jackpot

as yall walked closer to the gym, you noticed the big pile of girls huddling at the corner

kunimi sighed

‘l/n, ill warn you ahead of time of our captain. hes kinda,,,, too much’

but you flashed him a smile

‘hes not the first one ive handled’

oml player-chan!!!

so when you opened the door and entered the gym and oikawa hit you with his normal antics, you just stared at him

‘okay and?’

hanamaki and mattsun howled before rushing to you and grabbing you in a hug

‘girls like her really exist!!’

you gave kunimi and kindaichi a signal of help and they nodded before gently prying the senpais off of you

‘senpai, please’

you gave kunimi a grateful nod

coach irihata went up to you bc wow, kunimi has a friend with of another gender?

‘how can we help you, miss?’

‘im l/n y/n, first year, and id like to apply as the manager’

internally, the coach sighed bc you werent the first one to apply

the reason they havent had a manager for years was bc of oikawa’s fangirls hiding themselves under that false facade

but he saw you brush off that comment oikawa make with no hint of fluster or blush on your face so he decides to give you a trial run, in guise of seeing if you could handle these chaotic boys

‘do you have any experience as manager? or do we need to teach you the ropes?’

‘i was a manager for 3 years in my middle school volleyball’

he nodded

‘ill give you one month. a trial run of a month to test the waters’

you agreed and your trial run began

kunimi mentioned that morning practice starts at 6 am sharp so you set your alarm for 5 to get ready and get to school on time before the boys

you remembered how to set up the nets so you quickly put them out (using a step stool bc we short) and ran to get the basket of balls

their water bottles were filled and you were in the middle of lugging the big basket of towels when the third years entered

the 4 of them usually came earlier than the rest so they saw you dragging the basket of fresh towels and wipe your sweat before smiling at the work youve done

iwa was so happy bc it was usually him who did this stuff and now that he had someone do it for him, it was like a god-send

oikawa’s eyes shone and he waved at you

‘yohoo, y/n-chan!’

you cringed at the loud voice of the famous oikawa tooru

‘hello, oikawa-san’

he chuckled at your politeness before hugging you

‘you did all this for us? youre so cute, y/n-chan!’

instead of the normal blush and love-struck eyes, you were actually very uncomfortable of the sudden skinship and you quickly ran to the side when iwa hit him at the head

‘shittykawa! leave her alone!’

‘iwa-chan!’

makki and mattsun stood next to you as the boys did their usual fight

‘is this all an act or are you really not attracted to oikawa?’

mattsun shot him a surprised look bc why was he so straightforward

but you just shrugged

‘hes cute, i admit. but ive seen much cuter and the boys in my middle school team was basically full of him so,,, and i hate guys who think theyre all that just bc theyre blessed w a pretty face. if anything, ill probably go for iwaizumi-san’

pop off S I S T E R!!!

you just won the heart of these two

slowly but surely, they all came to accept you and iwa straight out loves you bc you maintained this routine for the whole month of your trial run

and you still remained indifferent of oikawa’s advances and he was even impressed and slightly agitated that you werent paying attention to him

‘y/n-chan, one date! just one!’

you huffed before looking up from your clipboard

‘i like men, oikawa-san. not boys’

that comment made the guys shriek

‘y/n-chan! youre just a first year! you dont need a man!’

‘youre not a man, oikawa!’

you left oikawa to be tormented by his teammates and went to go and hand over the report to the coach

he was impressed by the notes you made bc they were ones he even missed

like the split-second of hesitation that kindaichi usually has that goes unnoticed but you immediately saw

or the wince oikawa has whenever he so much as jumps an inch

you could even tell the difference between iwa’s spike and if he was being easy or he was going full-out

this added on to the fact that the boys loved you and irihata actually saw kunimi try more 

but he thinks its only to earn your praises

‘y/n, youre officially the team manager’

yall celebrated at the normal hang-out spot which was the ramen shop and it truly shocked you at how much these boys ate

granted, this was the first time you ate together but you didnt expect them to eat nearly 5 bowls each

you could only finish 2 and you already feel like throwing up

‘honestly, how do you guys not gain weight after this?’

the table you sat at, iwa, kindaichi, mattsun, and kunimi, looked at you and shrugged

‘i work out’

‘i run’

‘i fast’

‘i poop it out’

lmao im sorry i cackled too hard at this

you stared blankly at mattsun’s answer who said it so seriously that you snorted a laugh

they watched you and your laughter bc you havent really expressed yourself as much 

so they made it their goal to see you laugh more

‘y/n-chan! you need to eat more!’

oikawa shouted, clearly food drunk, but you shook your head aggressively

‘i only planned to eat one bowl but he just had to shove another down my throat’

‘but you need to grow, y/n-chan!’

‘i want to grow taller! not wider!!’

As a manager:

oh boy

you basically grew into kinda their mom

‘oikawa-san! you need to rest your knee or youre going to hurt yourself! i will drag you home myself!’

‘kunimi, if you try to get this one more spike, i’ll buy you a bag of those caramel bites you like’

‘iwa-san! if you hit oikawa-san too much, youll destroy the little braincells he has!’

‘yahaba-san, nice dump!’

‘is your knee okay, watari-san?’

yall really forget that watari and yahaba exist sometimes smh

it was part of the work

keeping up with seijoh

so to keep them encouraged, you gave them praises that they always demand for and they always turn to you whenever they did something good

mattsun gives you a look whenever he blocks iwa’s spikes and you give kindaichi a head pat whenever he blocks some too

bc of how you are with them, sometimes, they forget that you are actually just a first year

they get shocked whenever you walk in with kunimi and kindaichi and talk about the current homework bc it slips their mind that their hard-working manager was actually just a 15-year-old girl

so, they try to ease the burden whenever they can

like iwa offering to help you whenever you have to take their jerseys to the laundrymat

or offering to help you with your assignments since theyve only been through it once

more like watari, yahaba, and iwa bc the matsuhana are clueless and acts like they completely skipped that grade

also

!!!!

oikawa’s fangirls ltr dont leave you alone!!!

now, its known that youre the manager of the volleyball team bc oikawa has boasted about your efforts and such

this obvs ticked off a bunch of girls bc they were jealous that you got to spend more time in a single practice with their precious oikawa-senpai than they have their entire lives

more than once theyve cornered you to threaten you to stay away from their senpai or youll have something coming for you

you never take them seriously bc you can fight too and you just give them a look and push them away

but this one time

TRIGGER WARNING-START

okay tea

the self-proclaimed president of the oikawa tooru fanclub, kenta miyo, cornered you at the bathroom with her other minions

you were just washing your hands and drying them off when she marched up to you and grabbed your hair before tugging it back

obviously you were surprised and shouted

‘oi! what the hell?!’

‘you slut! you need to stay away from my tooru, got it?!’

ehm what

you hissed and wrenched her arm from your hair and pushed her away

your hair was now a mess and you were fuming, already sick and tired of the torture these girls put you through

‘he belongs to himself, not you! so stop being delusional and leave me alone already!’

she signalled for the girls to hold on to you which you slapped away but they forcefully grabbed your arm while you kicked at them and struggle to get out of their hold

jesus what do these girls eat

miyo watches you struggle with a smile and cackles

‘oh? no fight anymore, little kouhai?’

you glared at her

‘i dont want to beat yall up bc id get yelled at by tooru so you need to let me go or regret it’

at the mention of his first name, her eyes widened and her face twisted and she slapped you

‘oi! respect your senpai, you brat! dont you ever say oikawa’s first name!’

your lips curled

‘oh? thats funny, because he actually told me to call him that since he wants his cute little manager to be very comfortable with him’

you achieved a feat that she has been working to get her entire high school life and miyo was not happy

‘ive been with him for 3 years and you just suddenly show up out of nowhere and call him that?! i dont think so!’

she had her hands around your neck and you gripped her arms, making her wince

but you laughed at that comment

‘heh, thats pathetic, isn’t it? here you are, my senpai, who has been vying for his attention for 3 years only to be ignored yet a mere first year, who shows up out of nowhere, has been asked to a date nearly a million times every day. that must be tough’

she shrieked at that comment and threw you on the floor, making you accidentally hit your head at the edge of the sink

yall im actually so bothered by this scene and im wincing as im typing

you bit your lip to prevent any sound of pain to escape bc you knew thats what she wanted to hear from you

but you werent going to give her the satisfaction

instead, you looked up at her, hatred swirling in your eyes

‘youre freaking psycho, you know that? once tooru and hajime knows about this, theyre going to give you hell. they wont ever let this go bc im the manager of their prized team and their little baby sister. so go ahead, do what you want with me. bc i paid too much for these nails to be tainted by dirt like you’

saiyo, a girl you noticed to be watari’s classmate when you went and visited him, nervously tugged on miyo’s jacket

‘miyo, we should go-’

‘SHES BLUFFING. AND HERE, SINCE YOUR SOCCERFIELD FOREHEAD IS BLEEDING, LET ME HELP WASH IT OUT’

and she poured over a carton of banana milk over you, making you wince at the sticky and cold liquid

the tough facade was crumbling and you were now screaming for help in your head, hoping that stupid theory from yahaba about team telepathy to work

but it didnt

TRIGGER WARNING-END

when miyo and her girls left, you sat on the floor, soaked and sticky and bleeding

then you begin to cry angry tears

you were angry that you were being treated like this just bc you were a manager

you were angry that you let them do that to you

you were angry that you prized your nails more than punching her square in the nose

you were just angry

periodt

staggering on your own feet, you stood up and leaned on the sink, eyes widening at the dripping red liquid from the gash on your forehead, staining the porcelain sink

you were stupid and unconsciously touched it making you wince 

‘shit, that hurts’

you whined quietly

there was little you can do with toilet paper and water to clean yourself up but you managed to at least stop the bleeding

you knew you had to be put on concussion protocol just in case bc you that hit was quite hard but at the moment, that wasnt your concern

practice has already started and this was the first time you werent present for daily practice

this was confirmed at the constant buzzing of your phone in your skirt pocket which you didnt listen to and instead, started thinking of ways to go to your locker and get your stuff and fake being sick but at the same time, not be seen and relayed to the team

time was ticking and you had to come up with a plan fast before oikawa will send the team to come looking around the building for you

once you looked at your reflection and smiled big, you decided it was enough to not show the pain you were in right now

girl im hurting for you

you peeked out of the bathroom door and saw the coast was clear so you quickly ran to your classroom, which was thankfully empty, and quickly grabbed your things

but as you were packing up, the tears just kept falling

it didnt stop as you bolted down the stairs, using your cardigan to hide your face from the public

once you were safely out of school grounds, you finally took out your phone and reviewed through all the worried and concerned texts from the team group chat

but you just replied, ‘im fine but i just feel really sick right now. girl stuff’

you smirked, knowing that would keep the boys away

but oikawa had to go and ask you to call him

‘y/n-chan! do you want oikawa-senpai to come over with chocolates and ice cream?! wings or no wings?!’

your jaw dropped at the question and clearly scandalized by the question

the team was too as shouting began and you could faintly hear iwa scream, ‘oh my god, shittykawa!’

‘im seriously okay, oikawa-san. i just need to be alone right now and ill try and get some sleep. good bye’

then you hung up

there was no way you could tell them

they were in their last year anyways so doing something about it wouldnt matter

and you were strong 

but apparently not strong enough to fight them off though

you would cover the wound with concealer and continue on with practice tomorrow as if everything was normal

but there was only so much you could take

just yesterday, they trashed your locker and a week ago, they took your bento and threw it away

you even got into a fight with this one girl but she scampered away, too scared to do anything alone

so you were actually just tired and want everyone to leave you alone

believe me, youve thought of quitting sometimes

but youve actually created a bond with these boys

like when you take hanamaki to get cream puffs whenever he loses against iwa in arm wrestling

or when yahaba calls you at ungodly hours to express his worries for next year and to fill oikawa’s shoes

it was simple moments that you shared with each player that kept you from not leaving

soon, you found yourself crying again and the looks pedestrians were giving you was starting to make you uncomfortable

a girl, with her gross hair in a bun, puffy eyes with a bleeding wound and walking down the street

that was a sight

so you cut a corner to an alley by your house to escape from the judging eyes and you were too busy wiping your eyes to see a boy who was crouched down on the floor and ended up walking over him

omg my baby kyoken hello luv!!!!

you gasped and you were surprised and quickly apologized

kyotani was originally about to yell at you, no matter what, but he saw the state you were in and concluded you were either from a fight or was beaten up

he recognized that and decided to just glare at you and go back to feeding the stray dogs and cats

you breathed a sigh in relief when he didnt yell at you bc that wouldve been the last thing you needed today

‘sir, im sorry for hitting you. if there is something i could do for you, dont hesitate’

he ignored you and you focused on him paying attention to the strays

going into your backpack, you had a milk carton and a sausage stick from earlier

you used your thermos lid to serve as the milk bowl for the cats while you peeled open the meat and used your scissors to cut chunks of it for the dogs to have some

kyotani watched as you went into action to feeding the animals that people usually ignored

he knew you

well, he recognized you

when he watched from the top of the gym, he saw you as their manager who ran around and helped everyone

sure, he still didnt trust you 

but he watched you grin and smile as the animals started to eat

‘im in a hurry right now so i have to go but ill feed you again tomorrow, okay? you too, stranger-san. ill bring food for you too’

then you stood up and ran away, probably in a hurry to fix that wound

he wouldve offered to treat it for you but he remained silent, watching the cats mewl at the now empty lid

the next day, oikawa was worried for you and when he saw you at early morning practice, he practically glomped to your side

‘y/n-chan! you okay?! oikawa-senpai was so worried for you!’

you cringed but nodded

‘im okay, oikawa-san’

‘senpai, y/n-chan! call me senpai!’

‘im not going to feed into your kink, oikawa-san’

*cue everyone busting a lung*

to this day, no one still knew what happened to you

you kept it quiet and you were sure you got everything handled

except for one person

kyotani was smart and for some reason he knew you got beat up by the fangirls and the perpetrators were easily found bc he saw them huddled around your locker, probably trashing it again, and lets just say, 

no one is def going to mess w you now

back to manager moments!!

during practice matches, the boys rally around you to prevent other teams from sweet-talking you

they make sure no one gets past them and always have excuses to get your attention

you knew what they were doing but you pretended not to, heart warming at their protectiveness and hunger for your attention

even though you have your own jacket, the team gives you theirs all the time like oikawa has his special team jacket w his name at the back and when he feels threatened by schools like johzenji, he makes you wear it

‘youre mine, y/n-chan and i want that blondie to know’

‘ehm, no, oikawa-san. im iwaizumi-san’s’

oikawa screamed

lmao training camps w them is CHAOTIC

YOU WANT TO CRYYYYYY

OIKAWA IS CRYING BC IWAIZUMI IS BEATING HIM UP, MATSUHANA ARE FREAKING OUT THE FIRST YEARS ABOUT THE GHOSTS IN THE WOODS AND NOW KINDAICHI REFUSES TO LET GO OF YOU, WATARI GOT LOST GOING TO THE BATHROOM AND YAHABA IS SCREAMING ABOUT THE WEATHER MESSING UP HIS HAIR AND MAKING IT FRIZZY

reminder: threaten to quit everytime they get too much

your hugs are the best!!!!

you have a special hug for every player

oikawa gets his favorite which was the normal arm around the waist with your arms around his neck while he snuggles in your neck

iwa gets flustered easily so you hug him from behind so you cant see his flustered look

mattsun actually likes the jumping in the air so he catches you type of hug

makki is more tame and has his arms around your shoulder with his chin on your head

yahaba is the twirly kind where he just picks you up and swings you around

watari also gets flustered easily so he likes the one-arm hugs

kindaichi gets blushy at the slightest touch from you but he gives you a hug from behind you himself where he can bury his face in your hair while you caress his arms

kunimi, now he likes it when you squeeze him extremely tight bc it makes him feel loved and feel alive

kyo doesnt even talk to you what makes you think you can give him a hug

their lost for shiratorizawa really broke them though

you made them their own bentos for nearly a week to keep them encouraged and gave oikawa extra attention to keep him from sulking or practicing late

‘oikawa-senpai, lets go watch that new movie later’

‘S-S-SENPAI?!’

then the arrival of our baby kyoken

yahaba was moody the whole practice and you were currently trying to keep him from spiking a ball to someone

‘even just today, he’s late’

‘who?’

‘that stupid dog’

he just keeps mumbling and grunting

and then the said dog arrived

you peaked out from behind iwaizumi, who protectively went in front of you

shock ran through you and you pointed at him

‘puppy-kun!’

lmao puppy what

youve called him that since he refused to tell you his name, but you call him that bc he paid special attention to this one baby beagle

he raised a hand in greeting and you gave him a smile

‘youre a player here, too?!’

he ‘glared’ at you but nodded stiffly

the team really thought that he would lash out at you but he is surprisingly tolerant

the power of the manager

he still hasnt talked to you but he does respond to you and even helps you with chores, still not talking ofc

hes so tsun tsun and he deserves my heart yall

however, youve heard him talk to iwaizumi, and iwaizumi only, so youve heard his voice before

ngl, you were flustered by how gruff and deep it was

then their loss to karasuno

bruh, it was KARASUNO

the entire team fell apart and after the match, each of them ran away from you to stop lashing out

you were also on the verge of crying, seeing the broken look on your third years

your precious third years

you decided to give them their own space but you heard a loud banging sound from the bathroom

yahaba and watari were outside, clearly trying to talk to someone in there on coming out but it got louder

okay you were lowkey like, ‘hm, i should not be here’

but you recognized that voice

you knocked at the boys door to be respectful

‘kyo-san? its me, y/n’

he was silent but he did unlock it

you took this as a sign to enter and you gave yahaba and watari a smile

‘i’ll be fine. go to kindaichi and kunimi. they need your comfort right now’

tbh, you were surprised the bathroom was still intact but you saw the stall door at the very end being rattled and shaken

you remained by the door but you wanted to go to him

‘kyo-san, please come out so i can treat your injuries’

he expected you to say those words like ‘its okay’ or ‘theres always next year’ but you didnt

instead, you knew he was hurt and wanted to help him

he continued to give a few punches to the wall and the door before emerging

you wordlessly treated the wounds and offered your hand

‘im here, kyo-san. dont worry, im right here’

at the ramen shop, you told them to eat as much as they want and wordlessly gave them your card, slightly crying inside bc you know this was going to be like over a hundred dollars

but you were treating the boys bc they deserved it

you sat beside kindaichi, who was just sobbing and apologizing, so you were wiping his tears and holding his hand under the table

this precious babie

bruh i was sobbing when i watched this part like uuggghhhh

after dinner, you walked with the other third years, knowing they would go to the gym, so you gave everyone else your special hugs before sending them home

‘text me when you arrive safely, okay?’

‘yes, mom’

‘KINDAICHI WHAT’

oikawa’s speech made you cry bc despite only knowing them for not even a year, you already feel like a family

you didnt want your family to be broken but you knew they would all go their separate ways eventually

there was a big hug pile of third years on the side where you took a picture and sent it to the group chat

you had to eventually go home after helping them clean up and when you checked your phone, a fresh batch of tears rolled down

each from every person on the team but with the same sentence and same words

‘we love you, l/n y/n. thanks for everything.’

ngl i dont think this was that good and its like 8 in the morning and im extremely tired

i want to do karasuno, nekoma, and fukurodani but im so exhausted i cannot right now

[weasleypogues]

fight club (p.h.)

request: hii can i request smth angsty with pope ? maybe it could end well for both the reader and him but overall it’s just filled with angst and slow burn and tension ? ty xx

ofc lovieee!!! loving this pope recognition finally!! :)

this will be a two part becuause this was longer than i expected!!! part 2 here!!!

masterlist.

you literally felt like you could not sit still. anger was pulsating through your veins as you paced back and forth on the porch of the chateau. you also felt the piercing eyes of pope follow you back and forth as you struggled to form a cohesive sentence.

“it’s just- ugh! she can’t get away with this! she thinks because she’s a kook that i’ll be begging for her forigveness and shit like i’m a starving peasant just to save my reputation! i’m a fucking pogue, i don’t have a reputation to uphold!” you spat as your hands clenched together so hard you swear you were going to accidentally draw blood from your palms.

vanessa was a kook that you never had problems with when you were kids because you two had a friendship that was secretive and playful because of opposing groups. it wasn’t until middle school was when she ditched you, similar to kie and sarah’s relationship. thankfully for them, they sorted it out. however, vanessa was bitter and bitchy every chance she could get. 

“yes (y/n)! keep it fiesty! i wanna see you win a good cat fight.” jj egged you on.

“you’re gonna make yourself go crazy if you don’t just sit down.” pope spoke in a sterner tone than you would have expected. but as the rage filled you from vanessa, pope’s tone was not helping. you felt a tinge of hurt in your chest as he expressed his clear stress and annoyance with you. but you weren’t going to let it go that easily; not in this state.

“i’m fine just the way i am, thanks.” you responded just as passive-aggressively as he did. you literally had to restrain yourself from rolling your eyes so you wouldn’t egg this on, because the last thing you needed was for pope of all people to be on your bad side. 

you heard him scoff from behind you and his footsteps faded away. you spun around so quickly, maybe even too quickly to play it cool, to just see a flash of him as he turned the corner. your eyes flashed to john b, kie, and jj who had expressions that were just as shocked as your own.

“what’s his problem?” you asked, expecting an answer real quick before you had to go investigate it yourself. your teeth grinded against each other and you felt your face and ears go hot. 

“he probably just doesn’t think this is worth it (y/n/n).” kiara stated, trying to give him the benefit of the doubt and giving you a look that said don’t let it get to you. kiara shared a quick glance with john b and jj, which definitely did not go unnoticed by you.

“w-what was that? that little look you three shared?” you asked pointing your finger at them interchangeably and confused but angrily eager to find out. you raised your eyebrows, expecting another speedy answer as you finally turned towards jj who held his hands up in defense and bit his tongue. 

“cut pope some slack. you’ve been looking for trouble lately (y/n), it’s been keeping him on edge each time.” john b responded and slapped his hands on this thighs before getting up off the couch. you felt your cheeks get a little hot and your jaw drop slightly.

pope was trying to be protective of you. this was not a secret that you and pope were always flirty with each other but neither of you ever acted on it. both keeping the same sad mindset, if they wanted to, they would. everytime you talked about this with kiara and sarah at a girls’ night, they playfully judged you for thinking like that and tried to encourage you to just go for it. 

you took a deep inhale and relaxed your shoulders and face, feeling the tension ease up on your body. “she’s asking for it...look i don’t want to make pope upset or anything but vanessa can’t keep pulling this shit. she’s asking for her teeth to get knocked in.” you huffed out as you grabbed your backpack and phone to hop on your bike and head home. 

--

your grabbed your phone and backpack as you headed back outside to your bike. you didn’t even bother to text the rest of the group about catching a ride to tonights kegger because you were just a little fired up from earlier. they were your friends and if this were any other case, they would be backing you up. why is this time any different?

you’re recalling yourself getting ready. stud earrings because she can grab hold of hoops. your hair in two braids because there was less surface area for her to snatch onto. sneakers to make a run for it in case shit gets bad. 

what the rest of them don’t understand is that not only was vanessa mean, spoiled, and made your existence on the obx difficult, was that you had a bumpy past with her. more than just losing a friend. she made up a rumor based on fake ideas that she overheard her parents talking about. when she would run into you on the street with her other kook friends at the ripe age of 13, she would be a bystander as they spat insults your way. that always caused a strain in your friendship. 

until one day, she started the picking on first. she judged you on your family’s financial situation and said quote-by-quote “i heard her mom cheats on her dad with all of her little pogue friend’s dads. who knows, they could actually be related and we wouldn’t know. she’s a whore and i’m sure she’ll end up just like her.” tears still brim your eyes at that memory. you wouldn’t dare tell the rest of the pogues, whether it was out of embarassment or fear. it was best for them and their own minds that it was never brought up again. since then, it seems like constant torture from her. 

you pulled up on the beach and hopped off your bike as your tires were definitely not made for the sand. you laid it on a tree and made a b-line to the keg that john b was basically guarding. “thought we’d hear from you.” you heard kiara state as she sat on the sand and glanced up at you, squinting her eyes to keep the remaining sun from basically burning them.

“yeah well, just got a lot on my mind.” you responded. you didn’t want to be so abrupt with them but your blood was basically boiling with the idea of vanessa. john b stared between you and kiara and handed you a full red solo cup which you gladly took, taking a gulp.

“soooo...” jj started, throwing an arm around your shoulder, “cat fight tonight?” you felt a chuckle rise out of you as you playfully rolled your eyes.

“if you’re lucky enough, maybe you’ll get front row.” you joked, sending a smirk jj’s way and taking another gulp. you felt a presence behind you and turned to be faced with pope. his facial expression had clearly changed from what you saw from him last time. he looked almost guilty and concerned rather than aggravated. 

“come to snap at me again?” you said, turning towards the horizon on the water. looking into his eyes right now was difficult. maybe because it was the idea that you knew some part of you wanted to snap at him for him snapping at you earlier but you couldn’t make another enemy. not tonight. 

“about that...can i actually talk to you for a minute?” pope muttered, instincitvely cracking his knuckles, clearly scared to tread on water. you felt your shoulders relax and your facial muscles follow suit. placing your drink and backpack on the ground you followed a few paces behind him, closer to the sand where the tide was rolling in. although he didn’t stop, he wanted this to be a walk and talk situation. 

you strolled beside him, both of your hands slightly brushing against each other every now and then. while neither of you took initiative to grab the others’ hand, neither of you pulled your hands out of that pathway either. that connection and touch felt nice. it was reassuring that his snappiness, along with your own, was out of love and protection of each other. 

“you won’t be happy with what i’m about to say...” pope started, basically holding his breath.

“so why say it, pope? i know it sounds bad to say outloud but, why not just let me fight her? she has made my existence so unbearably difficult on this island and has slandered my name and countless others of those i love too much and for too long. i’m sick of being a pushover and letting her get away with it because of mommy and daddy’s money. im done!” you blurted out, letting more info out than you expected. “why does it bother you so much? if this was topper and john b going at it, or rafe and jj? which keep in mind, both have actually happened, i’m sure you would be more hesitant to stop them.”

your strolling came to a sudden halt as pope took a step directly in front of you, face to face. he looked longingly into your eyes, somewhat darting back and forth between your own eyes to search for an answer to his questions or even an answer to yours. 

“(y/n)! i can’t see you get hurt. i know how badly you want to do this and how much it means to you but in the end, what is it going to get you? an even worse reputation among kooks, bloody nose, and a black eye? is it worth it?” pope rambled drasticaly. 

“it is worth it! and i’m so thankful that you care about me and my well being and everything in between but this is something that i have to do. once and for all. i’m not putting myself and everyone i love through this torture anymore. and if that means beating the shit out of her and getting a bloody lip and battered up on the way, than so be it!” you responded, using your hands quite animatedly throughout the performance. the waves seemed like the loudest thing on earth as you awaited an answer from pope. he looked defeated and anxious, knowing that there was no getting through to you for this. 

“i-” pope started before cutting himself off, looking deafeated yet again. he ran his hands over his face in frustration and as he let his eyes shine over the tips of his fingers, they locked with yours. you felt stuck in place and in a trance for a split second before you felt a pair of hands on your waist and soon enough, you were lip locked with pope. 

instantly you pulled away, your heart feeling full and your legs feeling limp. your hands made their way to his jawline, slightly caressing his cheeks and neck as you pulled him back into the kiss, elongating it. 

he pulled away, shocked yet proud with himself. you could not help the small smile that made it’s way onto your face as your cheeks felt hot immediately. “i can’t believe i’m saying this but...fuck it. beat the shit out of vanessa.” 

the small smile grew as a laugh escaped your lips. you were quick to grab his hand as you both made your way back towards the kegger that was becoming a little more dense as the minutes passed. sarah, kiara, jj, and john b’s eyes were quick to fall on your interlocked hands with pope. both of you kept quiet, playing it nonchalantly. but you couldn’t help but notice pope’s look to john b and jj, all with smirks lined up on their faces.

part two out later!! :)