#(ik shes a woman pls dont hurt me)

[scrollonso]

a lot of discourse abt imane khelif's gender and not enough about her being fine as fuck

[xannerz]

wish my mom wasnt homéophobíc!!!

[1shimaru]

Im not sleeping well, I had a nightmare and ik it sounds like "this too is yuri" at the end but I was scareddd😭😭

In the dream there was this guy who wanted a magic book that I was protecting, and at some point he got his eldest son to help him steal it away from me. I crawled into my bed bc it was like a "safe zone" from them, but this woman with long black hair and nails approached instead. "Why do you want to protect yourself from them?" She tilts her head all curious and starts to circle me, "I'm just as dangerous 😈"

and Im like "Your bad? Are you going to use this book for evil too?"

and she goes "no… but I will eat you 😈" and she lunges at me (safety zone doesnt apply to her) and pins me down w her weight and Im scared her long nails are gonna puncture my neck with the way she grabs at it. She opens her jaw and I see her pointy teeth and I try to move or wake myself up before she can take a whole ass bite of my neck, but shes really fast. I try to WILL my brain to pls pls pls wake up soon so I dont feel anything, but it doesnt, and she gets me.

I didnt feel a bite, it felt like she kissed me with lips made out of smoke, but she's still got this evil look in her eye and shes opening her mouth again and Im still scared the next bite will hurt for real. ik it sounds like I just got kissed by a goth demon girl but I was so scared, this girl was gonna EAT MEEEE 😭😭😭 I was scared Id feel her rip and tear off my skin and my neck is so sensitive like pls dont go there, I was shakinggg 😭😭

And then I woke up confused about where I was again bc I didnt recognize my room so I got scared again 😭😭😭

[just-some-random-blogger]

hello, lovie!! its not during the day for you but i really needed to sleep for a bit. its either gonna be really long and have more than 2 parts or really short (not likely). 'matt like mumbling' he!! hes the least understandable person in hotd for me. i love you man but can you like.. SPEAK.. open your mouth yk. hope youll watch the episode. 'T_T Спасибо, любимый' cute but its a masculine form.. one friend calls me that while joking TT Всё нормально, дорогая. 'I ALREADY LOOKED UP THE LYRICS AND GOT THE ROMANIZED RUSSIA' omg its so sweet of you TT so. im listing my fav songs so you can just choose whatever youre comfortable with. my ultimate bias is '24/7' by the neighbourhood but it has rap. but ive got a feeling that your magnificent voiced sound so good in this. 'the lighthouse' and 'honey' (idk it also has some kind of rap? not really but yeah. im that kind of person fr) by halsey. ive seen you dooing some kpop covers so if youre ever interested i think youd sound great in 'she's fine' by heize. oh and ive just found 'why do you love me' by charlotte lawrence but ive been listening to minnies cover. ohoh and. have you ever seen steven universe? it has great songs no matter what (i havent watched the last seasons so cant say anything). so 'love like you' and 'here comes a thought' are soso AAAH. maybe youll like them. thats all ig. tbh, id love to see whatever cover you make! bc youre just the most pretty and talented hottie-cutie and i luvluv you <з 'this is how i feel about music' ooh its good to know! well-well im 18 and im studying slavic philology. yk passion for.. just language. dull but still. 'i wanted to write it but now i dont' omg beauty idk how i can help you TT hope youll make it out. no matter if youll manage to write it or decide not to. 'i think you mean your are ok with yourself getting hurt' well i didnt mean it but not gonna say its completely wrong. i meant this more in a.. sarcastic way? a fake joy of ruining my life. here we have a culture of death and depression related jokes and sarcasm and so on. the pressing environment. it sounds awful but.. were all so mentally ill its DREADFUL but funny) 'idk what i feel about the nickname' i meant it in a 'good person' way but if youre uncomfortable with it, im sorry. the bread eating tradition is actually from the ancient Rus ig? but nvm its become stronger after the wwII bc of the lack of bread during it. now 1) lots of teens says against this culture bc now we have enough food and they say its outdated 2) a culture of healthy eating is strong and twisted a bit? a lot of people dont eat bread to not gain weight. i just dont like bread so much to eat it with everything. 'DAMN WITH NO RICE' yeah were criminals. well its not really an equivalent of flan but it reminds it in a way. 'запеканка' literally means a thing that is baked?.. its usually made with the cottage cheese or the shortbread and then literally anything a person can think of. idk whos nada... but ill definately watch this vid later! give me more english vids with some social themes pls. 'ok for me not to feel that much feelings at all towards nada' yeah ig thats it? tbh tolerance is a little overrated?.. ik how it sounds but hear me out. maybe its just me but preferring something or smn with privileges over smth or smn without those very privileges seems not so right nowadays no matter what is the reason? as not liking a woman arouses a question about being a sexist while not liking a man isnt discussed and everyone understands why. i know why its like this but im not gonna continue, its going to be long. you have a right to not feel strong feelings when you dont feel them. its simple. it doesnt matter if its a male or female character. we all are too determined about our sexes? ok but im not continuing THIS definately. ig ill answer to why you love that issue the most in the next part. and i want to discuss smth else about discrimination. so! have a nice morning/day/evening, see you in the next part!

Hello baby!!!

i appreciate the fact the person put the kitties in the towel/blanket.

its not during the day for you but i really needed to sleep for a bit. its either gonna be really long and have more than 2 parts or really short (not likely).

you should ONLY send me asks when its day FOR YOU 😡🤺 pls take care of yourself T_T i dont mind waiting T_T

'matt like mumbling' he!! hes the least understandable person in hotd for me. i love you man but can you like.. SPEAK.. open your mouth yk. hope youll watch the episode.

LOLAHSKHASLFHKLAHSFHSAFHFH FOUL poor matty T_T BUT NAH UR SO RIGHT he be mumblin but i love him we still love him HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA OPEN YOUR MOUTH BOY i'll try to watch it

'T_T Спасибо, любимый' cute but its a masculine form.. one friend calls me that while joking TT Всё нормально, дорогая.

i didnt know you have fem/masc form of words O.O mind blown. i checked the translation and apparently it became darling? i typed my love actually so thats on google translate. it seems like something a friend would do HAHAHAH

'I ALREADY LOOKED UP THE LYRICS AND GOT THE ROMANIZED RUSSIA' omg its so sweet of you TT so.

idk if i;ll ever sing it but i do like that song

im listing my fav songs so you can just choose whatever youre comfortable with. my ultimate bias is '24/7' by the neighbourhood but it has rap. but ive got a feeling that your magnificent voiced sound so good in this.

but theres no rap here? the verses just are quite monotonous or they dont sing in a wide range of notes. rap usually are atonal meaning they dont have a pitch its like talking but with rhythm. it's a fine song. i like the neighbourhood. i now know what kind of songs you gravitate to

'the lighthouse' and 'honey' (idk it also has some kind of rap? not really but yeah. im that kind of person fr) by halsey.

i listened to lighthouse! i like it exponentially more that the first song because of its grit. it kind of has a rock vibe, which i enjoy. i havent listened to halsey in a long time so you've made me like her again. random fact i was so freaked out by her name when i first encountered her T_T because i couldn't read it as any other way than ashley (which is what her name is an anagram of) idk i think i have mild dyslexia. i listened to honey too! i like it as well but i like lighthouse the most because THE GRIT 😩 but i could do this one too. halsey be talkin about thighs and being mean HAHHAHA kinky HAHAHAHAh thank you for reviving my interest in halsey btw none of these songs have raps babe

ive seen you dooing some kpop covers so if youre ever interested i think youd sound great in 'she's fine' by heize.

pls why would you watch my old videos T_T its cringe cos i didnt have equipment yet at the time. id rather not do a kpop cover because im very concerned about pronouncing words wrong. also the song is just fine to me HAHAHAH like its title. i will do lighthouse then HAHAHH gimme a few days to learn it. im also editing 2 songs so i can finally post it. i recorded yesterday. i hope you like it when i show it to you. i wont link it anymore since you have my youtube so i hope you subbed and put notifs on HAHAHH

oh and ive just found 'why do you love me' by charlotte lawrence but ive been listening to minnies cover. ohoh and.

this sounds so much like so happy together by the turtles . i like it shes like fine shes toxic HAHAHAHHA we love that in art HAHHAAH shes quite monotonous too so yeah its fine

have you ever seen steven universe? it has great songs no matter what (i havent watched the last seasons so cant say anything). so 'love like you' and 'here comes a thought' are soso AAAH. maybe youll like them. thats all ig.

i know steven universe. I listened 'love like you' AND I LOVE THE SONG SO MUCH but i would have to do the instrumentals and if i dont the song would be ruined and the instrumentals are so sweet i might mess it up idk. i like the second song too, here comes a thought, but the first one is so much nicer to me. maybe because the performer is better in the first one.

tbh, id love to see whatever cover you make! bc youre just the most pretty and talented hottie-cutie and i luvluv you <з

aw thank you baby T_T

'this is how i feel about music' ooh its good to know!

<3

well-well im 18 and im studying slavic philology. yk passion for.. just language. dull but still.

WOW I HAD TO LOOK UP WHAT PHILOLOGY IS THATS SO COOL ITS NOT DULL AT ALL om ur 18 T_T ur a baby T_T ur a literal child T_T my goodness T_T T_T T_T i feel kinda weird now T_T for interacting with someone thats about my younger brothers age online T_T my child my goodness

'i wanted to write it but now i dont' omg beauty idk how i can help you TT hope youll make it out. no matter if youll manage to write it or decide not to.

HAHAAH I MEANT I WANT TO WRITE IT BUT NOT ANYMORE AT THE MOMENT it happens HAHAHH but i still will write the fic dont worry

'i think you mean your are ok with yourself getting hurt' well i didnt mean it but not gonna say its completely wrong. i meant this more in a.. sarcastic way? a fake joy of ruining my life. here we have a culture of death and depression related jokes and sarcasm and so on. the pressing environment. it sounds awful but.. were all so mentally ill its DREADFUL but funny)

ah i see. i have friends who joke about death/dying a lot but i never like it nor do i condone it as the designated mom friend so pls i know its a joke but dont be so ok with it.

'idk what i feel about the nickname' i meant it in a 'good person' way but if youre uncomfortable with it, im sorry.

NO WHY ARE YOU APOLOGIZING I JUST SAID IDK WHAT I FEEL ABOUT IT ITS NOT UNCOMFY ITS JUST LIKE ??? IDK WHAT I FEEL ABOUT IT STOP APOLOGIZING 🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬

the bread eating tradition is actually from the ancient Rus ig? but nvm its become stronger after the wwII bc of the lack of bread during it. now 1) lots of teens says against this culture bc now we have enough food and they say its outdated 2) a culture of healthy eating is strong and twisted a bit? a lot of people dont eat bread to not gain weight. i just dont like bread so much to eat it with everything.

ahhhh i see. wwii L. diet culture is ulTRA MEGA L. i love bread but not just like plain bread. i understand what you mean about bread. i mean love the possibilities you could have with bread. you can make it toast you can eat it with hot choco you can make a sandwich YUM but bread < rice lol

'DAMN WITH NO RICE' yeah were criminals.

well its not really an equivalent of flan but it reminds it in a way. 'запеканка' literally means a thing that is baked?.. its usually made with the cottage cheese or the shortbread and then literally anything a person can think of.

i see! this looks like a cheesecake like the baked version (because there's a no baked version) REALLY INTERSTING LOOKS YUMMY 10/10 would lOVE TO TRY even though i cant even read the russian symbols and my brain is like ah yes the one thats almost is a rectangle is a p (based on all the russian texts ive seen since talking with you) wtf why is the a 3 and the k is probably not a k

idk whos nada...

yes i know T_T HAHAHAHAH

but ill definately watch this vid later! give me more english vids with some social themes pls.

that channel that made that video (theyre called the take) have amazing insight on things. i think the first video i watched on them was about himbos or perhaps it was the one i enjoyed the most?? which is why i remember it but yeah they have amazing takes on things pun intended

'ok for me not to feel that much feelings at all towards nada' yeah ig thats it? tbh tolerance is a little overrated?.. ik how it sounds but hear me out. maybe its just me but preferring something or smn with privileges over smth or smn without those very privileges seems not so right nowadays no matter what is the reason? as not liking a woman arouses a question about being a sexist while not liking a man isnt discussed and everyone understands why. i know why its like this but im not gonna continue, its going to be long. you have a right to not feel strong feelings when you dont feel them. its simple. it doesnt matter if its a male or female character. we all are too determined about our sexes? ok but im not continuing THIS definately.

but this is very true. some people can be like oh u dont like this woman you misogynist ??? no thats not how that works ???? it was a good food for thought for me though, kind of this catharsis I had over nada. i went from omg am i internally misogynistic to oh wait nah its just that she's literally just a plot device without too much depth used for nada. this now kind opens the discussion of, oh women are only used as plot devices for character development of men. and yeah thats a problem but T_T yeah lets not get into that AHHHHAHAHA

yeah you should be able to like and not like a character but hopefully you only do it based on their character not something like apperance sex or whatever

ig ill answer to why you love that issue the most in the next part. and i want to discuss smth else about discrimination. so! have a nice morning/day/evening, see you in the next part!

AH YES LETS GO PHILOSOPHICAL DEBATE HOLLA

xxx

[akampana]

Continuation of this ask

Bedivere x Arturia - Ship it

What made you ship it?

TBH I was one of those few people who shipped it based on that like 2 second scene at the end of FSN. The Camelot Singularity just reinforced it. A lot came from the original Arthurian legend as well. Bedivere is similarly insanely loyal as he is in the game, and like in Fate lore, he’s been with Arthur longer than most.

What are your favorite things about the ship?

He journeyed so far for so long just to see her smile OH MY GOD BRB IM SOBBING HOLY CRAP CAN YOU JUST IMAGINE—

I’m a sucker for intensely loyal knights and I will always be. ALWAYS.

THE ANGST POTENTIALLLLLL but also THE FLUFF POTENTIALLLL

This man loved his king so bloody intensely. So strongly that his desire to see her survived the test of time. To be loved so much, so unconditionally for a thousand and a half years? Gods, that’s just too much, man. ;-;

And I absolutely adore how much it means to him to remain her knight, even if he tends to be insecure about the limb that he lacks, and how he believes he is nothing special in comparison with everyone else. I love that Arturia recognizes his strength and his worth, even if he himself can’t see it.

THE ENTIRE CONFRONTATION IN THE THRONE ROOM LET ME TELL YOU I WAS CRYING SOOOOO HARD THROUGHOUT THAT IK NIT EVEN KIDDING

THIS, the MINDBREAK Arturia goes through when she tries to remember

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

I think that THIS SHIP NEEDS MORE LOVE AND I REALLY OUGHT TO CONTRIBUTE

All the other answers below cut!

Irisviel x Arturia - Ship It

What made you ship it?

I think I was bound to the moment I watched Fate Zero. When I was younger it was overshadowed by the feels Diarturia brought and not to mention Kiritsugu and Iri but this ship is damn good on its own.

What sold it though, is the argument she and Kiritsugu have in Episode 16, right after the last Saber and Lancer fight. Irisviel, who we all know loves her husband so much, forced Kiritsugu to answer Saber. That’s just how important Arturia was to her.

What are your favorite things about the ship?

I think they both found in each other something they themselves lack. It’s actually kind of funny. Arturia is human, and yet she’s so heavily consumed by her ideals that she doesn’t act like one. Irisviel, on the other hand, is not human, and yet everything that she does and wants to do is exactly that.

Throughout the anime, Being with Iri puts Saber into such mundane, ordinary situations that it teaches her to live. The suits, the escorting, being a passenger instead of a driver, appreciating the water by the seashore, etc. It's like the woman wants to leave her with some appreciation for the world, especially when she herself doesn’t have all that much time left.

On Irisviel’s part, I think she found in Saber the companionship she would have wanted from Kiritsugu during the last few days she remained on the Earth. Arturia had been the perfect knight in shining armor, taking Irisviel around to see the world as much as they could amidst a war. If they’d just had more time, I have no doubt Arturia would have taken Irisviel even more places, you know?

It makes me sad :( but in a good way.

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

I’m pretty sure Irisviel would wear the pants in this relationship ya know what I mean? Hahaha

Much as I love this ship, I think that it becomes all the more valuable because of how it ended. To each other, they were this brief, fleeting feeling of happiness. A love that was so short and yet so strong.

Shirou x Arturia - Don't Ship it

Hooooooo boi. Hear me out, mkay ? But this is just my personal opinion so pls no hate

Why don't you ship it?

I’m gonna start out by saying I don’t think I need to, tbh. Hahaha there’s enough content for this ship being fed to us, so my liking it or not is immaterial. But the reason is well...I watched FSN and Shirou x Saber was...not the best thing about it (the best thing about it was the soundtrack omg iconic) Shirou comes off as a bit of a misogynist, and kind of immature, and the whole time it’s like he doesn’t really listen to Arturia at all. Plus, it’s kind of like he just likes her looks at times. The final deciding factor was the date scene. That was just unbearable.

But then I go online and I see all this good stuff about them. And my friend ships them cause they’re canon, right? So, I’m like okay, what if I judged too quickly, let’s play the VN...and I did. And I still didn’t like him with Saber at all. So, I played the next route, watched the next anime, trying to redeem 1st route Shirou as much as I could but it just....didn’t happen. I think I can safely say I tried to like them. I really did. But no.

What would have made you like it?

Removing the misogyny and the immaturity and letting him listen to her. Like he should have.

At no point in their interactions did it feel like they were standing on equal ground, ever. Either he was speaking over her or the opposite. So less of that and a lot more respect.

And when you compare this relationship to what he has with like with his other two love interests, it makes this ship fall completely flat. It’s pretty...bland and honestly kind of shallow. It’s like the story just tells you they’re in love but there’s no answer to why they’re in love. Make him fall in love with her for her without necessarily forcing his need to save everyone on her.

Despite not shipping it, do you have anything positive to say about it?

I may not like how they got there, but in the end Arturia was able to pass peacefully.

I acknowledge that Shirou was important and made a change in her life.

That ending scene where they meet after so long, NGL is pretty sweet.

A lot of my headcanons happen post-Shirou, so there’s also that.

Archer x Rin -Ship it

What made you ship it?

Tsundere x Cynic has gotta be one of the best dynamics out there.

What are your favorite things about the ship?

His true identity. The fact that she dragged him all the way across space and time to return as her Servant, that’s just bloody fate at work.

The fact that he keeps acknowledging she’s a strong Master despite his later conduct in UBW.

Archer is ridiculously crass and Rin is easily riled up. In the Fifth Holy Grail War, they had the best Master-Servant relationship period. They have this explosive chemistry that just works so well.

When he smiles at her at the end of the route, and you just know that Tohsaka’s gonna be stubborn enough to make sure Shirou doesn’t end up going down the exact same path.

I think it’s sweet that he ends up going along with her whims because he secretly likes housework.

THE PRINCESS CARRY/ CATCH. MAN OH MAN.

Unlike the previous ship mentioned here, these two actually stand on equal ground with each other.

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

I don't think it's exactly an unpopular opinion, but I think they really ought to have more official content y'know? Rin is important in every route, and Archer's the actual climax of UBW and also entirely significant across three routes.

Medusa x Sakura - Don't ship it

Why don't you ship it?

Because while journeying through the routes, I always saw Rider as more of a best friend/sort of motherly figure to Sakura.

Or that Rider fulfilled the kind of relationship that she wanted to have with Rin, while Sakura unknowingly filled the void Medusa's sisters left in her life. I thought she was more of a guardian angel really, not a romantic interest. Kind of like how Heracles was to Illya.

What would have made you like it?

If I could maybe forget about the threesome with Shirou and the implied romantic feelings Rider has for him in Ataraxia that would be great.

Despite not shipping it, do you have anything positive to say about it?

Sakura deserves all the happiness in the world and I really do believe that Rider could fulfill that.

This ship DEFINITELY DEFINITELYYYYYY NEEDS MORE CONTENT

Diarmuid x Cú - Ship it

What made you ship it?

oooh this probably sounds surprising since based on my content you'd think, no i dont ship this BUT I DOOOOOOO (i just happen to hc them as bros more often)

Honestly what did make me ship it is the parallels.

What are your favorite things about the ship?

IMO They have the biggest potential for hurt/comfort amongst all the ships mentioned here.

They can help each other get through their trauma. Their whole relationship would be extremely healing and supportive.

I love that Diarmuid seems to have idolized Cú Chulainn at some point and honestly who wouldn't be honored to stand beside him, no?

They could be up to the funniest shenanigans because Cú is chaos and Diarmuid would absolutely be an enabler because when he isn't angst-ing he's super damn chill.

Bros being bros hahahah...unless?

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

Not really. Maybe that I think Lancer Diar and Cascu would get along better and Saber Diar and Lancer Cu would also get along better but honestly any form is good this ship is good

[grizztheexplorer]

Umbrella academy reaction: S2 ep1:

- WAIT THEY GOT DROPPED IN DIFFERENT Y E A R S DAMN. POOR KLAUS WAS THE ONE WHO PROB SPENT THE MOST TIME ALONE TOO WITH BEN SJDJDJ

- now ik why everyone spent so many years in the 60s is bc five travelled to the furtherst year sjdjdkdjd of course no one did shit to investigate until 5 he truly carries the fucking brain cell in the group😭 and only SOMETIMES does he land it to allison sjdjdjd

- they are so fucking messy without five christ. Without him they managed to reunite but cause a fucking war/apocalypse in the process I-🧍🏽‍♀️ this 58 year old kid needs to BREATHE

- i saw someone say between vanya and five vanya wins but lets be honest here for a sec djdjdj. In that messy jump from five vanya looks like she controls her powers better and yet still can’t win against an explosion. Five can. He can win against her bc he can move thro literal time and space. And both (no one in the family i think) can’t still get to the full extent of their powers. Amazing. That said they both are clearly the most powerful. I can’t decide if the 3rd most powerful is allison or klaus. I wanna say klaus bc we don’t know all that he can do yet.

- im happy hazel looks old like he lived a life with agnes. Really hope thats the case. THAT SAID WHY DO THIS KID ALWAYS GET LIKE A WEEK TO GET EVERYONE’S SHIT TOGEYHER AND SAFE THE WORLD GIVE HIM AT LEAST A MONTH FUCK

- hazel :((((( hazel no :((((( at least he lived a good life and 20 years with agnes i hate it here :(

- now why tf did he leave the briefcase hazel clearly gave it to u for a reason. Five is great now but i really hope he gains more control of his powers. He tires quickly but idk if thats due to age regression. I want everyone to gain control and expand more their powers, but i just think, specially as they all time travelled, five is the key one rn.

- this family truly fucked with this man’s mind omg sjfjjddj i hope he gets an explination or compensation at the end of the season🌚💀

- i mean im glad diego is getting therapy bc they all need it, but this man can easily kill them all why is he trapped there shdjdj

- WHY HE RISKING HIS SANITY OVER KENNEDY DIEGO PLS U DONT OWN SHIT TO THAT WHITE MAN AJDJDJJD

- “I don’t run with a pack” sir u are useless without ur family and quite literally trapped in an asylum pls take that shit back rn sjdjdjdj

- diego sir what part of altering the timeline created a new apocalypse did u not understand 💀

- five is such an asshole lmaoooo. I get it tho he cant stop kennedy without risking the apocalypse so diego needs to get it together. Once again the feral child holds the brain cell😌

- as i said before what got me to start the show was an edit youtube vid of s2. So ik vanya gets with the mom. Carl doesn’t seen bad tho, i hope he sucks so I don’t feel bad over the wife leaving with the son part.

- ben and klaus have arguably the most sibling relationship bc they always together. That said they both threw low shots at each other i got hurt bc i love them both sjdjdjd. Might hurt me bc im an only child so i dont get the fights as much.

- BEN YOU ASSHOLE LMAOOOOOOO. They really are in my top 3 jsjdjd my top 3 is actually them, allison, and five. Ik it doesn’t make numerical sense but i just love them all

- wait she still has a soft spot for luther i am in pain sjdjdjdj i dont even ship them that much at all but like they just didn’t even have CLOSURE

- now why did the girls get a happy life and the boys all be sad :/ luther and diego specially going thro it im sad :(

- now luther tested my patience last season but he is one of the most sensitive ones why did they give the sad lonely life to him :(

- listen good for vanya but this white woman in the 60s,,,,,, how do we know she isn’t racist👀 idc if she is gay until i hear what side she is on in regards to racism. This show won’t have me trusting a white woman in the 60s no matter how nicely she treats vanya.

- i will genuinely not trust that white woman ever if they don’t make her address racism. Like ik she is supposed to be good and all but like literally... is the 60s. We got Allison literally organizing protests for the civils rights movement. C e r o trust on any white person who isn’t from the future/the family

- that said, diego has it fucked omg.

- now why does five have to get everyone’s shit together in every season. Next season they better have their shit together since the beginning. Or at least be more self aware im tired of five having to convince them of the apocalypse every damn timeeee.

- on that note, im glad luther has friends. Idk if he has relationships with the girls but he is so soft that i doubt it im just glad he has grown friends sjdjdjd

[koyurim]

hospital playlist 12 (season 1 finale)

as the 99 crew make their next steps, life chugs along and with that comes the ups and downs that the patients are going through

the season finale provides enough momentum to wrap up some plot lines while still presenting new (or persistent) challenges for season 2 to dive deeper into. for me, all the ups and downs with the patients were the highlight of the episode and had me in an emotional mess. we see how much the patients impact the doctors, but also how much the doctors impacted their patients: 

yun-bok was able to thank song-hwa and cry in her arms when she found out that song-hwa was the doctor who treated her mom. and we got to see song-hwa tell yun-bok that she grew up into a lovely lady. 

right when chi-hong’s dealing with the coma patient who’s not going to make it, the cop patient came back to thank chi-hong for giving him the motivation and understanding that he can return to his job. his life is not over because of what he went through. 

jeong-wan stayed up day and night for the 7-year old girl and all his care was recognized when her family thanked him. also when she came back on christmas eve to thank him personally. jeong-wan always gets a lot of fulfillment from his work and i feel like this is the case that convinced him to remain as a doctor and not a priest. 

seok-hyeong. is just. a Fantastic doctor. he’s so gentle and always provides space for the emotions that come with the medical problems that the patients. when the woman finds out her baby has passed?! and then you see all the moms sitting quietly in the hallway listening to her crying. and the woman who had multiple miscarriages finding out that her baby’s in the clear... the JOY. ugh my emotions are ALL OVER THE PLACE.

jun-wan poured in so much care for the patient with the infected stent and watching him deliver the bad news to the parents was so hard. i was so proud of jae-hak for figuring out a solution! gah! growth.... 

ik-jun learning sign language--IM!!!!!!!! 

now, onto the more personal lives of our doctors. much has been building up all season and our main five must face their problems. sometimes facing your feelings is all it takes to find a fix, but unfortunately more often than not life requires a deeper dive to untangle all the webs and mess (and means we have to WAIT). 

jeong-wan’s plot line feels the most neatly wrapped up in this season finale. he’s made the decision to stay and not becoming a priest. it’s so obvious to those around him that he finds a lot of fulfillment in his work as a doctor helping kids, but it seems like it took him a lot longer to realize that himself. i really appreciated the moments with song-hwa. she can read him so easily, but sometimes you have to wait for your friend to arrive to the conclusion themselves. as for the love line with gyeol-ul, i was really hoping to see WHY he liked her. the show + all of jeong-wan’s friends and family have spent the season saying ‘HE LIKES HER’ but i dont really see why? i wanted some flashbacks about where his love originated from, because the kiss feel too out of the blue. however, i Am glad and proud of jeong-wan for properly facing his feelings and not denying them! you don’t do yourself or anyone around you any good when you don’t face yourself!! anyway, i look forward to rosa doting on gyeol-ul in season 2 even though it makes no sense. 

seok-hyeong’s father may have passed, but his problems are still there. seok-hyeong’s family situation has clearly created many problems in the past. it seems like his divorce with his ex-wife was primarily due to his family and not from a lack of love. as a consequence from his family mess, he’s forced himself to choose a lonely path so as to not hurt anyone else. obviously, that’s no way to live and seok-hyeong has to make peace with the understanding that while his dad is a piece of shit, he himself can still seek out happiness. it’s interesting to me that min-ha is able to approach him in a way that seems to slowly nudge him out of his shell. i hope that she can continue to do so in a respectful way! i feel like in season two we may see a seok-hyeong/min-ha/ex-wife love triangle. overall, im glad that he’s choosing himself in not running his dad’s company. his dad is an asshole, and seok-hyeong doesn’t owe him anything. even tho i think the mistress is shameless, im shocked that he didn’t leave anything to her. anyway, i wanna see a scene where ik-jun’s like hello dad pls redistribute your wealth to me, your son. 

oh, i fear our poor prickly jun-wan has been dumped. i was so pleased with how the finale was developing his and ik-sun’s relationship until he got the returned package! i loved when jae-hak was like ‘dude, just ask her’ because you can’t assume and guess your partner’s intentions. you’ll just be stuck in an endless loop! although i am on pins and needles to find out the reason for the package’s return, i’m not surprised. ik-sun has a lot that she hasn’t unpacked from her previous relationship. she’s worried about being hurt again and keeps anticipating their relationship’s demise. wanting only happy moments in a relationship isn’t realistic and i think she may have gotten cold feet and jumped ship to proactively avoid the ‘bad’ parts to a relationship. im rooting for jun-wan, he’s trying his best to communicate and be a good partner in the relationship; i really hope ik-sun will also do the work and not ghost him. i hope in season 2, the crew finally meets bidulgi!!!! 

even though ik-jun’s basically all but said how he feels towards song-hwa, we finally see him properly face her and be upfront with his feelings. i’d love to have heard him say ‘i like you’ explicitly, but i know that this is a big step for him. despite being the most expressive of the group, ik-jun’s so elusive. he flits around to different departments and loves to give advice, but he struggles much more when it comes to forging a kind of relationship where he needs to be vulnerable. we don’t get song-hwa’s response yet, but the ending with all five of them hanging out before christmas is a reassuring sign to me. regardless of how song-hwa responds, their friendship and the maintenance of the group is something they’ll prioritize and work to maintain. this means regardless, they’ll stay in each other’s life.  

UNFORTUNATELY, we still get very little of song-hwa. im so frustrated! she’s such a great mentor and confidant, but WHO IS SHE! song-hwa! who do you turn to when you want advice? what’s going on in your brain? what are your fears and worries? from the little clues that we’ve gotten, i think song-hwa’s drawn a firm line with chi-hong. she’s no longer wearing the shoes he got her, and she was firm about him not following her/congratulated him for moving up to chief resident in a kind yet professional manner. i really hope season 2 stops making us guess about her inner thoughts and just GIVES it to us. i need All of song-hwa’s thoughts! as an aside it was cute how song-hwa made space for seokmin to confess to sunbin! 

in the end, i rest easy knowing that our OT5 persists. they’ll always have each other to go back to and have a meal with. i love them, but not as much as they love each other. they argue and fight but the way they make space and accommodate each other speaks volumes to how much they mean to one another. the show’s so beautiful in capturing life’s little moments. while there is a (very slow burning) plot, that’s not what captures me about the show. the beautiful moments are small and mundane. the five bickering about song-hwa and jun-wan eating all the food is such a human touch that doesn’t necessarily add to the plot. u-ju eating egg sandwiches and winking isn’t necessarily ~ReLeVaNt~ but it’s so important and damned if i won’t watch u-ju and his dad have fun! 

season 2 will air in 2021 (GAH) and i wonder if we’ll come back to song-hwa returning after 1 year. things will have changed: our interns will be residents, ik-sun will have been abroad for a while. either way, im looking forward to it!!!!!!!!!!! 

[ursoself-satisfying]

an OC sneak peek [2/?]

ok heres another w the accompanying oc!!! its ginger n maryanne 4ever!!!!! i lov them sm!!!!! but anyway heres another excerpt from around the same time n its MORE angst n I hope u like my vagueness lol,, PLEASE GIVE ME FEEDBACK!!! LEMME KNO WHAT U THINK!!!! ilyall enjoy ::””)) IM GONNA PREFACE THIS W THE FACT THAT IK IRL BRIAN IS A PURE MAN N THIS WOULD NEVER HAPPEN N ANITA IS A GODDESS BUT THIS IS JUST FOR THE DRAMA ITS TOTAL FICTION I MEAN ABSOLUTELY NO DISRESPECT TOWARDS ANY OF THEM its got some cheating ig so be aware that anita is my mom n the loml pls dont call me out ::(( 

---

“Anything to drink?” He asked casually, causing the girl to squirm in her seat. Her discomfort was amusing to him, as she was the one who had traveled out in the first place. She was present of her own volition but acted as though her emotions had such an irresistible hold on her, or rather Brian did, that she was there out of a primal need rather than any conscious decision.

“No- No, I’m ok, thank you.” The tall man glanced back at her with a soft, sad air about him. This feeling often came with their interactions as of late, despite their past. He averted his gaze from her body and turned his attention on pouring himself some tea instead. They existed in simple silence for a few moments, the only sound in the small kitchen was that of the kettle on the stove and the pouring of boiling water in his cup. He stood at the counter and took a long sip before turning slowly to sit across from his unsolicited guest. A feather soft smile graced his lips as he took her in. Even in an unfortunate situation, she was unbelievable, the same as ever.

The woman bit her lip before leaning forward and uncrossing her tense legs, “So, uh, wh-”

Brian set his drink down with a small clink on the table, the sound meant to interrupt her question. He just stared into the hot earthy contents for a moment and stirred it slowly. “Anita’s at her semi-annual retreat this week without me.” He cleared his throat, “I couldn’t spare the time between the post-production bustle and having to prepare for the cosmos convention.” His smile was thin and he took a sip of his tea before continuing, “I’m home alone for a while,” his eyes traced the woman’s silhouette before meeting her gaze as she was doing the same to him, “but I think you knew that.”

“Look-” She started quietly, but ultimately she could maintain the eye contact long enough to finish and slouched for a second instead. Ginger looked down at his comment, avoiding the aim of his accusatory glance. With a huff, she sat up and turned to face suddenly face him directly. “Maryanne kicked me out for the night.”

The elder of the two raised his brows and put his cup down with a concerned expression. “She kicked you out?” He asked incredulously.

The redhead swallowed, “Shes ‘moving on’.” She spat her words at him with a clear distaste for her lovers choice of actions as well as words.

The long fingers of the guitarist slid across the table and laid open for an embrace. Ginger glanced up at him cautiously before deciding his soft eyes held genuity and she laced her hand in his. The tips of his digits wrapped around her like they were made to fit with one another. Her hands in his caused a wave of emotions to ripple from the contact and Brian could barely handle it. He sniffled and slowly let his thumb slide over the never aging skin of the woman he once adored, and though he would tell himself otherwise, he still adored.

“I'm sorry,” he began, but she shook her head violently with an angry frown. She unintentionally squeezed his outstretched hand but he squeezed right back.

“Don't be. She’s just-” Ginger sighed, “She's different now, you know?”

Her aura slowly shifted from that of deep warm hues to softer cooler tones, from red and oranges to blues and purples like a dying flame coming down from its hottest point. Brian could feel the shift shoot through her and he prepared himself to stand and hold her the minute she needed him to.

Ginger looked up to meet Brian's sympathetic stare. He had always been the key to their emotions and it unlocked some kind of flood gate in her. She could feel it rush all at once in seemingly every part of her body. “I just don't wanna lose her, Brian!” She let it our like a gust of wind from her mouth, a storm of repressed worried. “I can't-! Not like I lost you!”

Just as he knew he would be needed, the man stood and went to her side. She stood as he approached and let him engulf her in his long arms as tears escaped and ran down her already red cheeks. She was shaking, having no way to handle or process the realization their return had thrust upon her. Brian held her sobbing head close in his chest, stroking her short hair and tightening his limbs protectively around her warm body. She could feel him place a small kiss on her head, whispering and cooing to her as he once had long ago, “Hush now, it'll all be alright, my darling girl,” his voice would waver now and again as he calmed her, “my sweet, beautiful, darling, darling, girls.” The smaller hands of the woman held dependently to the collar of his sweater and she choked back a final sob before attempting to speak again.

Her small voice came out with a rasp, raw from her cries, as she tilted her head back to meet the eyes of her familiar love, “We made things work, Brian. Why can't we just be like that again?” She pleaded with shining green eyes that took the man to another scene for a moment, one of discovery and firsts, one full of ecstasy and elation, but one so different than his present. “We were happy, Harold. Why can't we be happy again?” A weak attempt at a smile graced her lips at the loosening of her tongue, unfolding the old name like opening an old scrapbook.

Had her hands not been traveling up his changed face to tether him to his physical body, her use of his other name, so intimate and exclusive, would have had him lost right then and there in the sensation she provided. She cradled his face and her shaking lips begged to be kissed, tangling her fingers in his grey curls to entice him. Drifting closer and closer until he was bent to breathe down her neck, the temptation became too much.

It may have started at the neck but it moved in hot streaks from the necks to jaws to lips on lips. While Ginger's hands were preoccupied with the buttons of his shirt, Brian’s were holding her as close to him as he could, sprawled out on her back dangerously close to her ass. She mapped out his chest with the tips of her nails while her tongue did the same with his mouth. Nothing needed to be mapped, really, because for her it was like walking down a road to your first home. Even after you've left it, you'll always remember how to get there, no matter how much shrubbery grows over the path or how long it goes unattended. Brian was their home and they always seemed to find their way back to him, regardless of the distance put between them.

Brian thought she was exactly the same. Everything about her physically was just as she was when she left him. He then pulled away at the reemergence of that memory. As he separated from her, she mewled in protest, the loss of connection cold on her. That was right, though, she had left and he had stayed. Years and years had gone by and he had made a life for himself, more of a life, or in the very least a life without them.

“Brian,” Ginger moaned, trying to snake her arms back around his neck, “baby, what's wrong?” Her eyes were closed and her shirt was half haphazardly pushed up but her exposure only made Brian suddenly feel sicker.

“You know what's wrong, my love.” His languid fingers worked to pry her needy form off him with much difficulty. Her pouts turned to frowns and he gently, if not reluctantly, pulled her clothes back in place on her but she swatted him away as he spoke. “Ginger, darling, all of this is what's wrong.”

He motioned to them, to the empty house, to the hairs sticking to her face like sunny, golden, cherubic looking locks. She was glowing, but wasn't she always? She was in his eyes but that only made it all harder. “What?” She spat, “That- That I still love you? That's wrong?”

So much of it hurt him but he- He had to. It was really the only acceptable course of action. The teenager in him beat on his heart like Roger on a gong and begged and pleaded for there to be another way, for him to run away with her like he was 17 again, but he was old and his heart no longer reverberated in his chest like it used to. “You're the most intelligent creature I've ever encountered, my love. You know why all this is wrong.”

The tears returned and rolled down her face in record time as she bit her lip. “Why can't things go back to the way they were? It was perfect-”

He sighed, “The world is always changing-”

“I love you, Brian Harold May! And you still love me! I know you do! Isn’t that what you taught us?” With calculated steps, she aimed to close the distance between them but the older man kept her at arms distance now. “If we're in love then we should be together!” With every word, her speech became less and less intelligible through her sobs. “I just- I don’t understand!”

His heart shook as it shattered in his chest at her final words, a final crash to end an epic saga. “Things are a lot more complicated now, Ginger. You'll understand someday-” He held back his own tears and watched her pace the floor in front of him.

“Don't be so fucking condescending!” She snapped, stopping to look him in the eyes, the same eyes she saw when she first arrived. They were the only consistent thing in her long life, the love he held in his gaze. It softened her against her will. She wanted to be angry, not for the first time ever, but for the first time for personal reasons.

Brian paused at this. He had never seen her exhibit this much emotion before especially not aggression. All this time and he wasn't sure if he’d ever seen her this mad. “I'm sorry-”

“Don't be.” There she was. She was back to being cold. Face dry and slack, she was a woman of logic and decision. She collected herself and her things, jackets, and bags scattered around the room, refusing any help or assistance offered by Brian.

He didn't do a thing to stop her in the end. He knew she would find somewhere else to go, to stay, someone else to keep her warm. He had no doubt about that. She was well loved and well read, but ignorant in the ways of society. He worried but he couldn't have stopped her if he’d wanted to anyway. He desperately wanted to, but he knew the second his skin sparked on hers again he wouldn't be able to stop this time. No one in his life deserved that, his kids didn't deserve a father like that and his wife, God, she deserved more than he was being right then.

The door closed with a slam and Brian watched from the window as she got in her car but she didn't leave. She just sat there, hunched over her steering wheel and what he could only assume was yelling. Her mouth was wide and her eyes were shut tightly. He hadn't even realized the tears falling from his own eyes. He didn't wait for her to leave, he couldn't take the site of her any longer, not here not like this.

Behind some of his amps, Brian kept a box. It was filled with old photos, some bits of clothing, and all sorts of pieces of art. His favorite, of course, was the photos though. There they were, all together, smiling and in love. The three of them, they were- They were unstoppable, untouchable. It was golden with them, always. God, he thought how did it come to this? How could their story have arrived at this conclusion? And all Brian could assume was that this simply wasn't yet the conclusion.