#(ie being put on a pedestal is traumatizing in its own way)

[ace-and-ranty]

But my favorite Unreliable Narrator El moment continues to be Chloe, the Cassandra.

Nothing will ever beat El getting told, to her face, that something's wrong with Orion, only to continue ignoring all mounting evidence well into Book Three.

[thebibliosphere]

Indigo Child is a term that’s been around since the 1960s.

It often assigns traits and attributes of the child—attributes most likely rooted in Autism and ADHD—and claims them to be the product of special gifts such as magic or in some cases, being an alien from another planet sent to earth to guide “normal” folks to spiritual enlightenment. (That’s where starseed comes from.)

Sometimes it’s used in a throwaway term to simply mean creative and “marches to their own tune” sort of way, but when you get deeper into it, a lot of the time it was being used to deny neurodivergent kids access to mental wellness care, or even physical care.

The children are often put on an unhealthy pedestal and taught to believe that they are “special” and that the reason they struggle to fit in with their peers and to understand social norms isn’t because there is anything wrong with them, it’s because they are {insert pseudoscience new age spiritualism here.}

You’re not Autistic, Autism is bad, you’re just an old soul.

You’re not ADHD, ADHD is bad, you’re just connected to another planetary wavelength, that’s why you can’t focus on anything here on Earth.

It can become exploitative and harmful very quickly depending how far down the new age rabbit hole the adults are.

For example, my “emotional maturity” from about the age of, oh, five, was attributed by an outsider of my family to me being “an old soul” and that meant it was okay for the adults in my life to place their emotional wellbeing and stability on me, because I was secretly older than them and more emotionally advanced.

The chronic pain I started self-reporting from about the age eight or nine wasn’t actually mine, it was the manifestation of my ability to absorb the pain of others and I just needed to become more spiritually enlightened to stop feeling it. (spoiler alert it was EDS and a whole bunch of other stuff)

My trauma and my response to it, ie placating the emotionally immature adults in my life, was twisted into a positive spiritual trait that could be explained in such a way that it made it okay to exploit.

I wasn’t a traumatized child with ADHD learning to manage the emotions of people around me because it was the only way to survive—I was gifted. The universe had made me this way to teach humanity a lesson and to heal it.

I hopefully don’t need to explain how abusive and harmful this is. And regrettably, my experience was not rare. There are survivor groups for this shit and honestly sometimes when I read what other people went through and what they continued to go through (this shit makes you extremely susceptible to joining cults as an adult) I got out relatively unscathed. Traumatized and probably more disabled than I would have been had I gotten help, but nowhere near as bad as some folk.

For some people, it's simply a way of acknowledging their child is different without using a label they don't like (because ableism!)

For others its a pathway to justify serious neglect and abuse and it drives me fucking bonkers to see how quickly people are latching onto it again now that it's being repackaged as self-empowerment and wellness.

You’re not from another planet, Sharon. You’re just bad at social cues. You’re not an angel or a higher being of consciousness sent by the divine energy of the cosmos to sell essential oils. That's an MLM and you’re just another brick in the pyramid scheme.

And these scammers know that. They’re trusting that you’re vulnerable enough that you’ll keep paying to have your insecurities affirmed in a positive, often spiritual sense, usually to the detriment of your wallet, your mental health and sometimes your physical too.

You’re not struggling with the mental toll of the horrors we’re all witnessing—you just haven’t found your female archetype routine yet. 🫠

I’m taking the words “cortisol,” “dopamine addiction” and “vagus nerve reset” away from marketers and influencers and putting them on a shelf.

[bigskydreaming]

Are you going to read Tom Taylor’s nightwing? The preview looks fun

Oh I’ll give it a shot, for sure. I didn’t read the preview yet but I did read his interview. I like that he acknowledged the awkwardness of having already killed Dick twice. As that’s the sort of thing bound to be an elephant in the room with any character, when that’s the only real history a writer has with that character before taking over his solo title, lol. So I mean, at least he’s aware of why some Dick Grayson fans are like uh, approaching with caution, lmao.

The only part that really concerned me was when he said he was eager to get Nightwing back on the pedestal where he belongs when.....what. No. Bad take. Do not like. IMO that’s the crux of all issues with his character, the fact that no person real or fictional BELONGS on a pedestal, and being on one is never ever to anybody’s benefit, because its flat out impossible to live up to the expectations that go hand in hand with someone existing up atop a pedestal. So I’m like....no. Nobody needs to put anybody back on a pedestal.

BUT. I’m trying not to read too much into it yet, as its entirely possible it was just an unfortunate turn of phrase he didn’t put too much thought into, and he was just expressing an acknowledgment of the battering Dick’s reputation and perception in audience eyes has taken over the past few years, and he’s eager to just....work on making him better-liked again.

So. We’ll see. *Shrugs*

I mean, ultimately, my wishlist for anyone writing Dick Grayson is pretty finite? Like, a huge part of my exasperation in a lot of my more ranty-posts is like, I don’t have this long list of expectations or demands for his character in order for me to personally enjoy him and his writing......the frustrating part is just HOW MANY of the takes on him I dislike all stem from the same handful of issues.

So really, all I’m hoping for from Taylor’s Nightwing run is:

1) A look at him as competent and capable as befits a character who’s been doing the superhero thing for about as long as anyone, and has been as integral to various teams and the cape community as he is....and with this acknowledged and like, shown the kind of respect you’d think would ATTACH to his alleged reputation within the cape community, instead of it only ever seeming to invite resentment from other characters instead. With this including a look at him as equally competent and capable in his civilian life, as befits a character who has always, across every single continuity, prided himself on being self-sufficient and independent wherever possible.

2) Keeping him centered in his own tragedies and traumas instead of him and those events just viewed as plot vehicles meant to inspire and evoke emotions in OTHER characters, with the focus then shifted entirely on how they feel about things he’s more directly and adversely impacted by. If I have to see one more victim-blaming centric storyline about this character, I’m gonna......well, just continue to rant about it the same way I always have I’M JUST SAYING, enoooooough, can we please have at least like a five year moratorium on ‘here’s how everything bad to befall Dick Grayson is directly his own fault in not just his own eyes, but also those of every other character and most readers.’ Like, there are other tropes. Check the Trope Well, I promise it has not yet run dry.

3) Allowing him the same range of emotions and reactions enjoyed by everyone when reacting to the things HE says and does, instead of him being limited by what he’s ‘supposed’ to be doing/feeling/thinking for the good of the family or teams or community instead of to his own damn benefit. Ie not having to swallow every insult or deprecating remark about how badly he dealt with various traumatic events to befall him, and instead getting to return fire and say how he feels about that - with this rendered sympathetically by the writing, instead of just another way to cast him as ungrateful, out of touch, or oblivious to his impact on others. 

(All of which really don’t gel with him allegedly being the emotional glue of the Batfam and cape communities, which is where the expectations of him being supposed to do and say things to help support his family or bring them back close together come from in the first place. Like, this is a two-way street. You can’t claim you’re disappointed with this character for not being the emotional heart of his family like you want and EXPECT him to be, and then turn around and just completely and perpetually characterize him as being emotionally obtuse and self-centered and ungracious, because how the hell would a character like that even GET the reputation of being the emotional glue of a family or team in the first place, y’know? It doesn’t make sense.) 

But yeah, just like, allow him to be a PART of these communities and family, instead of just wholly in service to their needs. Which means that hey, sometimes they fuck up too, and if that’s never actually acknowledged within a narrative, if the apology stream is always ever flowing one way, eventually you end up with a pretty unpleasant picture of a man who is only TRULY at the center/glue position of a family because he’s being utilized as the family scapegoat, someone everyone can hold accountable for everything that goes wrong and count on/expect him to ACCEPT accountability for that, thus artificially ‘solving’ conflict within the family or improving relationships temporarily, because the others are at least for the moment emotionally validated or satisfied by the ‘proof’ that someone was to blame for this and that someone has accepted said blame.

Like say, even when he dies or gets sent into what’s basically exile or loses all his memories or the dozen other things that correlate with things going to shit for everyone else, but without that correlation ever extended on their part to see that oh hey, rather than him and what happened to him just being the catalyst for things going to shit for us, things were ALSO rather shitty for him as well, at the same damn time.

Etc, etc.

But yeah, ultimately, that’s it, that’s my entire wishlist for stories about Dick Grayson, canon or otherwise. Literally all my wants and hopes for Taylor’s Nightwing run can be summed up as like, as long as its somewhat in range of/in keeping with the above list of three whole Super Big Asks, I’ll be fine with it. 

I don’t need a super-revolutionary or ground-breaking new take on Dick Grayson. I will be one hundred percent happy and satisfied just reading stories that feel like they’re being written by a writer who is rooting for this hero and who is writing with the intention of having readers root for him too.

And hey, even if all else fails, at least Taylor’s not Tynion, lololol.

[lukestarkillerisgay]

grrhatlet replied to your post “I will never forget how quickly I unfollowed this like 30 year old...”

Why should her age mean anything? Comprehension does not abide by age. Snape was unpleasant, but a demeanor is not more important than saving lives. Letting people die because he didn't like them? That would have been petty. Yet he spends the entire series saving people he hates. If your reasoning for disliking him is he harasses children, perhaps you ought to think. Very hard.

oh henny, firstable in the tags i explained that age matters because i can understand why a younger person would look past a lot of what snape did but an older fan should be able to see through that 

secondable and most completely embarrassing for your fuckass you said with your own fingers: “If your reasoning for disliking him is he harasses children, perhaps you ought to think. Very hard.”

like babe, what the fuck is up your ass that you think being a contributing factor in a child’s abuse is negligible? (everyone on earth agrees that snape is a fucknugget so I’m putting it under the cut)

I’m not just complaining about how he blatantly favored his own house and gave/took points with enormous bias and little reasoning behind it (though it was clear he was the only prof to do this and it was absolutely pathetic of him), but this dude actively worked to make harry and his friends’ life worse just because he decided harry wasn’t worth shit since he didn’t like James - he made hermione cry, he threatened to kill neville’s toad which may not seem like big deals but when you’re a child and someone in charge of you is doing this it is a very big deal and traumatizing deal

and I think one of the most unforgivable things he ever did was in book 5 when he refused to continue the dumbledore-ordered occlumency lessons because harry saw one of his embarrassing memories, he put harry in real and mortal danger because of how petty he is, this is completely indefensible, the stakes were so high that dumbledore wouldn’t go near harry 

and all of this because of shit that happened in the marauder’s era where he was even more of a cock ass, he felt himself completely entitled to lily, she was a good friend of his and expressed a worry/distaste for him being around the blood-purity/dark arts people (essentially a racist organization of the wizarding world, dont’ defend his interest in this shit), he wasn’t a good friend to her he put her on a pedestal and cried about it when she didn’t like him back, he called her a mudblood (she should not be expected to forgive for this) and instead of giving her space he followed her around begging for forgiveness like an absolute creep

he joined the death eaters????? say all you want but there was no familial pressure to join like with draco, there is no way to defend this decision that he made all on his own, yes he eventually joined the order but it was after it was too late, he didn’t give a shit about harry/james/sirius/remus/peter despite all of them being at risk (after voldemort began plotting to kill harry), he was only worried about lily, he didn’t give a shit about the things she loved, her fucking family, no all he cared about was lily which is gross, it’s not love its obsession

and then after its established he is good he’s still being an asshole to everyone in very hateful ways (ie. making fun of tonk’s changed patronus), and he continued to be an asshole to remus (and outing him as a werewolf out of childish spite) 

THE ONLY GOOD THINGS SNAPE EVER DID WERE DONE BECAUSE HE GOT BACKED INTO A CORNER