#(idk what to tag this it is almost 2 am when i'm queuing this)

[coffeeghoulie]

Mushy May Day 29: Girls' Night

Cumulus, Aurora, and Cirrus take a night to unwind in the middle of touring.

Thank you so much to @forlorn-crows for putting Mushy May together, and to @ghuleh-recs for making us the dividers <3

We're in the home stretch!

Above them, the fluorescents buzz, just faintly flickering like one of the bulbs needs to be changed soon. Aurora leans heavily into Cirrus's side as they wander down the aisles of some local drugstore she can't quite remember the name of, and she wraps her arm around the littlest ghoulette's shoulders. She doesn't need to be quintessence to feel just how tired Aurora is. She knows the feeling intimately, the exhaustion sunk deep into the hollows of her bones.

They're picking up toiletries, Aurora's just about to run out of deoderant, Cirrus out of glasses wipes (she doesn't wear glasses, but she keeps them on hand for her mate because Lucifer knows Cumulus can never find them when her glasses are smudged)

"You doing alright, Borealis?" Cirrus asks, leaning to press the words to the crown of Aurora's head. Her hand rubs soft circles on Aurora's shoulder.

"Mhm," she hums, leaning further into Cirrus's side, fingers curled around the handle of their shopping basket.

Cumulus turns into the aisle they're in, hands full of bright colored foil packets, a bright look in her eye. When they had parted ways as they stepped into the store, she had looked just as tired as the two of them. Cirrus chirps curiously, quiet enough that none of the human shoppers can hear her.

"They've got face masks, and they sell liquor here, should we sneak a bottle of wine onto the bus and have a girls' night when we get to the hotel?" Cumulus asks, slipping the foil packets into the shopping basket without waiting for an answer.

Cirrus's posture eases, pulling Aurora tighter against her side as Cumulus gently takes the basket from her. "That sounds fucking wonderful, songbird. Rory, how about you?"

She shifts, tucked under Cirrus's arm. "Sounds fun, I mean, I don't think I'm up for drinking tonight. But I'll do everything else."

"Then we can skip the wine," Cumulus kisses her cheek, smoothing back bubblegum pink hair. "Though I did see, when I was getting the masks, there's a sale on nail polish. Maybe we redo those pretty claws of yours."

It's Aurora's turn to light up, and the three of them head back to the cosmetics aisle, picking a few bottles of bright, fun colors. Before they head up to the register, they make a quick pit stop in the snacks aisle, tossing a few boxes of assorted chocolates in the basket as well as a few salty snacks.

They smuggle their haul onto the bus, careful to make sure that the boys don't see what they're up to. Though, Cirrus thinks, it must be totally obvious that something's up. They're all much lighter on their feet, a little brighter eyed than they were fifteen minutes ago.

When they get to the hotel, the pack splits into their usual pairs. The girls slip into their room, flicking the deadbolt and tossing their duffle bags onto the far bed, the one that will go unused as the three of them curl up into their roost for the night.

Aurora takes one of the drugstore bags to the bathroom, setting out the face masks, not wanting to get them on the white hotel bedding, while Cirrus and Cumulus set out the snacks. "Who calls dibs on the shower?" Aurora asks as she comes back into the main room, moving to her bag to find a clean set of pajamas.

"How about you, borealis?" Cirrus hums, nudging her back towards the bathroom. She chirps in thanks, glamour fading away as the peach-colored gills on her throat flutter. They each quickly shower, scrubbing the grime from travel from their skin and hair, before settling at the bathroom vanity, looking at the various masks they'd picked up from the drugstore. Aurora pulls her phone out, turning on a playlist the three of them had curated on a low volume.

Cirrus sits on the closed toilel, eyes shut as Cumulus hums, carefully smoothing on undereye masks while Aurora braids her hair back. She passes packets of peel off mask to Cirrus and Cumulus, and Cirrus smooths the mask over Cumulus's face, caressing her mate's cheek.

It's quiet, save the music playing from the phone speakers. Cumulus turns, paints Aurora's mask onto her skin, and the little ghoulette leans into the touch, her feather-tipped tail wagging happily, thudding against the vanity. The bottles of nail polish sit on the counter, pinks and purples and blues, and the energy's lighter than it's been in the last week of Rituals and travel.

There are snacks waiting for them, and maybe the bed's not as familiar as the three of them would really like. But it's there, ready for them to cuddle up, feeding each other chocolates and salted nuts and dried fruit, talking about everything and nothing at all until they fall asleep, refreshed for another round of Rituals.

[deathdetermineslife]

how do you manage to get any followers or friends in the selfshipping community? is it just luck?

for months i’ve been trying to interact with others and follow people, engaging with stuff like ask games and hosting reblog games, but when i try to share any artwork or i reblog an ask game myself, its radio silence. like even in small discords i get ignored so bad

i don’t say this at all to be guilt tripping /gen, it’s genuine curiosity at how this stuff even works. like am i doing something wrong or is the community just like this?

here is my comprehensive and lame guide on How To Get Selfship Followers

step 1 - posting

so a lot of my posts are either kinda general or fun. folks I will not lie to you. these are all stupid shit that come to my mind on a day to day basis. for example, today, I thought, "man I'm such a loser I'm not in college like all my friends r" and then I was like "omg wait. i could make a post out of this" so I did that.

you also kinda gotta be conistent. so i try to post at least *something* everyday. even if its a reblog, tho, I don't reblog a lot of things other than ask games.

another thing with posting is that i do try to make a lot of community based content. so idk if yall remember but in the beginning of my account, I did the "things you can do if you have xyz f/o". i did like,,, I think almost 100 of those ?????? it was a lot. then I started making templates and I made some ask games and ofc I post a lot of general like,,, imagine stuff. oh also polls. people seem to enjoy polls.

step 2 - be positive

this is the big thing. as most of yall (hopefully) know, I do not fw proshippers !! but I don't talk about discourse unless its directly brought up. not only this, I put a big focus on just,,, being nice idk. like id like to think I'm a pretty down to earth person.

if you make a template and people tag you in it, say something nice! reply to peoples art, send in asks, things like that. i try to do my part in being nice. i also just like hearing about peoples selfships.

when people post promos and have the little "rb to be moots", reblog! when you come across someone having a bad day, maybe they made a vent or something, reply with a simple "I hope you feel better <3" or "your f/o loves you <3". things like that, ya know?

step 3 - have fun

genuinely. i post as much as i do because I like it. i didn't go into this thinking "oh... yea... I'm gonna get selfship famous..." like no I just wanna ramble somewhere bc none of my close irls r selfshippers.

you wont get popular or get followers because you grind out posts. literally one of my biggest posts on this account I wrote while I was half asleep one night and wanted to test out queuing on my account.

and in that regard, it is partially luck. i don't control what posts people do and don't like. sometimes I write up imagines and no one sees them. sometimes I write up a post saying "lol go kiss your fake boyfriend ooo smoochie smoochie" and that does numbers

step 4 - interaction

im only in two servers. one server (which was the first public server I think I ever joined ???? i could be wrong tho,,, bad memory blehg) that I don't own and then my own 18+ server. i don't think being in servers does anything,,, considering I'm only in one that isn't mine. i think its more like ,,, sticking to one or two places ?? like just being consistently in an area you're comfortable in.

i guess you gotta just find the right people ??? and like I mentioned, be friendly, but ya know. also I guess tags too? idk if you look at any of my regular posts I have 8 million tags on them. idk if that actually does anything or not because its kinda hit or miss sometimes.

i was gonna say something else but i forgot. see look listen I dunno how I got here but this is what I do ,,,, effectively nothing. also with the being kind thing, maybe this is how I am bc I'm pagan but I think that if you expect kindness back you wont get anything. sometimes its just nice to be nice. eventually you gain a reputation for being a nice person. you kinda have to not want that tho? like I don't see myself as particularly like ,,, super kind ,,,??? i just do what feels right.

step 5 - uhhhh idk im just rambling now

i guess i also went into this kinda like. damn sometimes this community is a cesspool of absolute meanie pants. i don't wanna be a Meanie Pants and just post my thoughts and the things I think about. i guess how I see it too is, I kinda like ? idk I think all these things anyways why not post them? kinda feels like a waste not to.

also ive been told my posts are pretty recognizable bc of how I format them ? my dividers and such. also tagging all of my imagines and stuff with my 🥀📜 emojis. i guess that helps too? because that's how I recognize certain accounts. "like oh there's them I recognize their dividers and their tags".

also you kinda gotta like,,, not let hate get to you. like have fun with it? i know that's hard, but, that's what you gotta do. when I get printer ink (bc. a hoe does NOT like buying printer ink) im printing out that fucking 8 mile long hate message I got sent. but also that's just the kinda person I am. like people being a dick and stealing my posts and telling me to swallow a glock 9mm doesn't upset me, im more like,, confused more than anything because never in my life have I ever sent hate to anyone. also I have had this "I do not care because you're some loser on the internet and you being an ass wipe is no where near as bad as the shit people have done to me irl" attitude.

TLDR; i dont think youre doing anything wrong because I don't exactly know what I'm doing right. i just... do... and sometimes, "just doing" is enough. maybe its luck, maybe I've been blessed by the tumblr algorithm and I've somehow figured it out, or maybe the community is just genuinely that bad and they pick favorites. maybe its all of the above! who knows. i try not to worry about it. i think at the end of the day, as long as you're having fun posting about your f/os and selfshipping, that's what matters.

alright thats all see ya. if you have any more questions feel free to ask however I fear I cannot answer them </3

[billiewena]

hello! I've been on-and-off with spnblr all summer and missed a lot. with my bday this month, I figured what better time to do a content creator event and catch up than now? presenting:

billiewena birthday boost bash... 2!

DATES: Thursday, Sept 29th - Sunday, Oct 2nd

WHERE: @billiewena and my sam sideblog @alivegirlsam

PART 1 - BOOST BASH: I’m making what was a very last-minute idea last year a tradition! Instead of new content, I want you to RE-SHARE any content you’ve made in the past that didn't get the love as it deserved the first time! ALL CONTENT TYPES WELCOME. feel free to share a multiple posts or even other bloggers’ posts! this is NOT the time to be humble. it was really fun last year and I made some beloved mutuals through it 💕

to “boost” a post, you can either 1) tag me in the comments / reblog or 2) send the post over DM or ask.

PART 2 - PROMPTS (OPTIONAL): I also have 🎉 actual prompts 🎉 this year for anyone who wants to make new content, too! Was saving these for a follower celebration but life stuff happened and I forgot. if any of the extremely specific things below inspire you, feel free to participate:

One-Episode Icons (aka characters who only appeared once)

DepecheModeNatural

LGBT Sam

Reapers (and Death the Horseman)

Bestiesnatural (examples)

Celestial Horror (examples)

👏 Let 👏 Women 👏 Be 👏 Evil 👏

🍯 bonus prompt for amv editors: Honeypie, but for any other fandom you’re in (i.e. a Cousin Greg Honeypie AMV) 🍯

for these, you can tag me in the post/reblog OR use the tag #bwboostbash2

RULES & FAQ BELOW:

open to anyone!

....EXCEPT for proshipper blogs and no, not just the w*ncest/w*nkline ones (though "f*ck you" and "how did you find me" especially to those)

if it’s sam-related, will reblog on my sam blog @alivegirlsam too! (alternatively if any samblr mutuals only want to be reblogged there lemme know!)

any content is allowed! (art, fic, video, poem, playlist, web weave, powerpoint, meta, whatever)

no NSFW and please tag any explicit fic as ‘minors DNI’

boost bash content doesn’t have to fit the prompts, it can be literally anything you’ve done in the past!

in addition to the obvious (see #2) I am also requesting no angel/angel, sam/lucifer, baby!jack, and no dreamh*nter or kaia content pls

if you don’t see your post reblogged that means I might not have gotten the notification, so message me! I'll like the posts from my main @homosexualslug to show when I queued posts as well

otherwise, pretty limitless and most of y’all know I'm a big multi-shipper (see my bio for all the non-desitel ones) who also enjoys almost every spn character under the sun (unless you're making, idk, like KFC Demon content but who would do that willingly?)

if you have a question, feel free to send an ask or DM!

[aeschylus]

thx @lexkent for tagging me!!💖

1. name / nickname: ish

2. gender: nb

3. star sign: aquarius

4. height: 5'7 or 5'8 idk

5. time: ehh idk i'm queuing this

6. birthday: feb 1

7. favorite band: tie between chevelle & a perfect circle & king woman 😅

8. fav solo artist: weyes blood

9. song stuck in head rn: give it up by 8MM

10. last movie: yin yang master: dream of eternity , lots of handsome men with angel wings fighting shirtlessly i highly recommend

11. last show: disenchanted, it's a more fantastical and narratively coherent simpsons by the guy who made simpsons, it's also slightly more depressed than simpsons which is a Feat, anyway i finished it in 2 weeks

12. when i created this blog: prbly like 2012 💀

13. what i post: my ships, things i find pretty and poetic, meme, compelling little factoids/discussions, the utter madness my ships spark in me tbhh

14. last thing i googled: meaning of "a clockwork orange" unfortunately i've read the book but i wanted to know if the idiom preceded the novel, turns out the novel made it into an idiom in east london cockney

15. other blogs: i'll just describe them b/c church & state and all that: a naruto blog, an aspiring nsfw clex blog, an emo bandom fob/mcr/etc. blog, a misc blog mostly for a mix of shippy content, and some blog i completely forgot i made dedicated to this YA series i used to be obsessed with redtrfygyhgfg

16. do i get asks: my sideblogs get waaay more action than my main lol

17. why i chose my url: it kinda looks like my name and i was a pretentious classics major with a focus in theatre

18. following: 631

19. followers: 780

20. average hours of sleep: prbly like 8

21. lucky number: let's just say 5 for fibonacci reasons

22. instruments: acoustic guitar & piano

23. what am i wearing: high waist baggy jeans, grey t-shirt

24. dream job: grunge/doomrock band or cinematographer tbhhhhhhhhh

25. favorite food: pasta? pasta.

26. free space: ummmmm. smallville lex luthor inexplicably hot 2me send help

27. nationality: american

28. favorite song: shameful metaphors by chevelle

29. last book i read: son of a witch (sequel to wicked) i'm still in the thick of it so i'll have more to say when i finish it lol

30. top three fictional universes i would like to live in: umm almost any magical girl anime b/c i want the powers and cute outfit, DC & naruto universe for same reasons, the matrix for vaguer reasons

tagging: @mood2you @theskedaddling @shikiswife @milfclark @concrastinator @rolorules @lelouchootori

[zathuraroy5]

I posted 3 072 times in 2021

87 posts created (3%)

2985 posts reblogged (97%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 34.3 posts.

I added 2 308 tags in 2021

#spn - 1112 posts

#dean meta - 241 posts

#to find - 199 posts

#lolol - 190 posts

#jensen - 124 posts

#destiel - 111 posts

#rant - 86 posts

#misha - 84 posts

#spn rewatch - 82 posts

#omfg - 79 posts

Longest Tag: 104 characters

#where else but tumblr am i gonna find someone's existential crisis over being called to the god dionysos

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

Supernatural Rewatch : 1x21

(queued 2021/01/26)

“you throw like a girl" uhhhrg *extreme eye roll*

Is that pastor Jim?

Now just ONE SECOND, fuck. Now I want to make things clear. I still hate John Winchester. BUT. This episode brings an interesting character development. Pastor Jim dies. And it's the first time we see John have more emotions than his "drill sergeant that loves his sons" routine. We see him go through the stages of grief at light speed, and he stops at anger. And that's what drives him forward. (Also like... It was very emotional... Gave a weird vibe considering it's John... Like Jim meant more to him than "hunter friend" implies...) And now I just see Dean watching him, seeing how his dad reacts to grief. How he reacts to another man's death, a man that seems very important? And now it just makes me feel things on how Dean reacts later to death???

Jensen why

Fucking hell John gets all pissy when Sam tells him about the nightmares like "when were you gonna tell me about this" like YA JOHN WHEN. All the times you DIDN'T ANSWER THE PHONE. It's not like YOU WERE THERE. jesus (and now that I’m into season two like HE ALREADY KNEW. There was a whole post going around not long ago how he was probably looking for weird signs in Sam even as a child. And how that probably majorly affected their relationship. OH NO I HAVE A THOUGHT what if he didn’t want Sam to go to Stanford because he WANTED TO KEEP ON EYE ON HIM???) 

OOOOO and Dean's not having it GO DARLING TELL HIM.

"Sam called you when I was DYING." yesssss

Give it

"you're right. I'm not crazy about this new TONE you're using, but you're right." Ya no you deserve all the sass

Fuck John. He keeps saying he wants Sam to go to school and for Dean to have a home... But like they could've had that... He was just so hell bent on revenge that it's too little too late. (I think I make a comment in another episode about how Bobby killed his wife HIMSELF and still didn’t go on a revenge binge, even with nothing to lose. John is just mentally unstable. (non-derogatory. Just plain fact. Probably had PTSD from the war mixed in the trauma))

And they're trying to make us sympathetic to him. Almost fell for it.

He's so convinced himself that he tried his best. God, people are complicated and complex dude...

( comment from convo with @adhdeancas: Like John is complex and interesting but like still fuck him)

Mmm 4 bullets huh. I remember only 1? (yap. cause they use...3…)

"you finish what I started" god dude this is not a healthy thing to say to your children

Yesss.... I gotta say the water tower blessing is pretty epic. I always remember this scene when they talk about holy water

Wait do I remember right? Did yellow eyes give Sam a fake vision? Cause fuck idk anymore (nope. Don’t know why I thought that)

My GOD Dean carrying a baby out of a flaming house AGAIN

Ooooo "what Sam, you're ready to sacrifice yourself" "if that's what it takes" "no not on my watch". DEAN. but then it's ok for you to do it later UH. I just realized this is it, it's the whole show

FUCK THEY ARE KILLING ME.

Dean: "you said it yourself. They're gone and they're never coming back" *wall slam*

"Sammy, the three of us, that's all we have. That's all I have" then Dean’s face...

JENSEN

And that's the end omg

Is there no Carry on in the season 1?

12 notes • Posted 2021-02-03 02:00:41 GMT

#4

Supernatural Rewatch : 1x20

(queued 2021/01/26)

Oooo another hunter. Ohhhh fuck vampires.

The colt is in the first season????

Jesus, I forgot how much actual plot happens. Like in the first season I mean. In my brain it’s just all… monster of the week? But a lot of the Big Events that I thought happened later are actually much sooner… which you know makes sense, there has to be SOME story when you do a show lol. 

And a wild John appears.

..... They thought vampires didn't exist... John thought they were extinct...

AND DEAN DIED BY ONE I'M SEETHING. (NO SERIOUSLY I’M NOT OVER IT)

Wooooow. Sam is asking legitimate questions on how does John know it's the vampires that took the people. He just answers that he knows. Then when Sam insists he bitchily shows the fang. Like John.... Don't you think sharing what you know with your sons is kinda important??? You know... So they can see the signs and not die??? (in future hunts)

What an absolute ass

And all he has to say to Dean is that he needs to touch up the car, wouldn't have given it to him if he knew Dean was gonna ruin it.

I'm livid

Big fight with Sam, Dean in the middle. This one if tough

I like how the vampires are "monsters" so they're doing all sorts of depraved things. Wink wink nudge nudge outsider spaces are full of depravity. (Like this literally reads “depraved queer space” I can’t)

Oh hey we get the John Winchester pity party "I never wanted this life for you, but somewhere along the way of trying to prepare you to keep you alive, I stopped being your father and became your drill sergeant." Ya well action-consequences dude

"when you said you wanted to leave, all I could see was that you would be vulnerable. Alone. It never occurred to me what you wanted." WOOOOOW

Verbatim from the show

I cannot believe

Wow go Dean. When John says he doesn't want them with him on the hunt to keep them safe, Dean pipes up "With all due respect, that's a bunch of crap. You know what we've been hunting, hell you sent us on a few hunts yourself. Can't be that weird about keeping us safe." "Not the same thing" "how so" "can't make the same moves if I'm worried about keeping you alive" "you mean you can't be as reckless" like Damn son, you go honey

( comment from convo with @adhdeancas: yes I am so hot for dean standing up to john) (same my dude {gender neutral})

Please tell me... That it's not this vampire clan that kills Dean… (............)

Also another notch in the "do monsters deserve to live?" Calendar.

The issue was verbatim raised in this episode

Uh. That music at the end... I think it's a recurring theme... Made me jolt. It's subtle but I recognized a bit.

Are you... Fucking... Serious... It is the same fucking vampire. It's the girl that got turned the night before... It's not even the girlfriend of the guy that was killed... They never even had dialogue exchanged.... I'm.... (*401 still not found)

14 notes • Posted 2021-02-02 02:00:43 GMT

#3

So I finally received the Sansukh books by @determamfidd (they are so pretty, @fishfingersandscarves so so amazing) and I'm barely two pages in when I'm hit with this,

And I squealed and jumped because I love love love Silmarillion references and I forgot you did them wonderfully, and I just got excited for this story all over again.

Also for some reason I keep forgetting that Mairon was a Maiar under Aulë so that was a punch to the gut that it was too close to him X(

32 notes • Posted 2021-08-24 14:27:01 GMT

#2

Dean meta hot take : Why is Dean called Dean

This has probably been done before, but it hit me like a brick yesterday, so here you go.

So I've been talking a lot to @adhdeancas recently, and this gem popped in my head. First I want to say that I always found this weird, (the order of their names) even as an oblivious teenager. I just didn't have to growth to take it further.  (Also side note, if John "loved" Mary so much, how come his SONS, who were NAMED after her parents, didn't even know about them??? They don't even seem to know about John's own parents!!! Seriously, fuck him) I find that in most naming conventions, it's the first born son that gets named after family members, if the parents decided to name their children that way (in my experience). So it always bothered me that Dean, as the first born, was not named Samuel. Or, as a matter of fact, not even named as JOHN'S father. Which would have made sense, if they were going that way. So why, if they were naming their children after their parents, was Dean called after his grandmother? It makes no sense.

Unless they thought they were naming their first born Daughter. And later on Dean just dropped the A. (It's just, after watching Monster Movie, where Dean says he's been "re-hymenated", and seen that gif set where he says "toxic shock", and then later says "who wouldn't want to be a cheerleader" TWICE, and all the other little things...)

Trans Dean rights. @adhdeancas : holy shit, I fucking love that,. I hold tight to the hc that dean felt like his name was the last bit of Mary he had and everything and didn't want to lose that family tie so he kept his name as much he could. And you're absolutely fucking right. If you're gonna name your kids after your parents, disregarding all "whose name first" she had no idea that she was gonna have a boy next. So the logical thing would be to name her first boy after her dad (especially since it's not like [they] wanted to name them Not Quite their names, she named Sam Samuel directly) unless she thought she had a girl. Me: exactly @adhdeancas: please. fucking stellar reasoning, I'd never even considered it before.

*is proud but shy*

53 notes • Posted 2021-04-01 00:14:08 GMT

#1

How Trans Dean could even be canon

Since it’s trans Dean truthing today, here is a take that’s been brewing in my head for a while, but only fully formed today with all the posting. Talked with @adhdeancas about it, and we love it. 

So my thoughts. How to keep the canon of John saying "my sons" in season one with trans Dean? Well I'm thinking it's quite the journey. (whenever I’m writing from John POV, there is she/her pronouns. Because John. I try and use the right pronouns when it’s not John voice, but the writing is just a rant and kinda fluid, so sorry if it intersects) Hunting is dangerous business. After too close a call with a monster, John cuts his daughter's hair as short as he can with scissors. She was almost dragged away. He's just removing a hazard. And anyways long hair was hard to keep up. (Meanwhile. Dean just feels like a weight has been lifted. He feels freer. But for a long time he just thought it was the physical weight of the hair. It's only later that he realized there was also an emotional weight lifted.) And then. Dee is still so young, but John catches the leers men throw at her, when he gets them rooms at seedy motels. He gets her boy clothes, tells her that outside of him and Sammy, she must pretend to be a boy. Anyway, it's easier with the hammy-downs with two boys. (Meanwhile, Dean LOVES the clothes. His Dad calls it pretending. But for the first time in his life, he feels like himself. It takes even longer to understand that not everyone feels that way) His dad still calls him Deanna when it's just them. But he prefers Dean. (What his dad calls him outside) He's still young, but he understands that to have this, he needs to spin it the right way. They're at Bobby's, before Bobby threatened their dad with a shot gun. (Bobby knew about Deanna before John started to pretend) He says that it would be better if they call him Dean all the time, that way there's less slip ups. John seems to consider it, but is slowly shaking his head, seemingly not convinced. Dean has more points, but he’s so nervous they can’t seem to come outof his mouth. But Bobby squints his eyes at Dean. Bobby can just see the way Dean is shifting, how important this is. Dean feels the stare, and he knows. He knows that Bobby knows. How?? Before the fear can take over, Bobby starts talking over John, saying it's a good idea, that having two sons is better in this business anyway, etc etc other convincing arguments. (that Bobby doesn’t necessarily believe himself, but that he knows will convince John) John starts nodding. Takes to calling them his sons, even in private. (Obviously, he still makes comments when periods come, or when his boobs start to grow.(thankfully, small, sports bras do it for a while until he's able to get a binder from bobby). Or whenever Dean makes a mistake, John blames it on that. That he can never really be strong enough)(it rattles Dean for years, perhaps the rest of his life. It's a difficult thing to heal from, thinking your body is stopping you from being enough.) He doesn't really talk about it with Bobby, but it seems that Bobby understands anyway. It's with him he got all the medical stuff he could get. But they never really verbalized it. Dean doesn't think he could. (The hormones, the surgeries... Really, dean doesn't know what he would have done without bobby) The only time he did verbalize it was when Sammy started asking questions, as they were growing and changing, about why they are both brothers, but that Dean is a girl. Dean tried to explain it as best as he could. He was terrified. But he couldn't lie to Sammy. John he HAD to lie to. Sammy... If Sammy could understand... And even through his stilted explanation, Sammy got it. He also got why Dean had to ruse dad. And he's so glad his brother told him the truth. And whenever john would break the pretending, start calling his brother Deanna again, or make a remark, Sam would keep the "ruse " on track. So much that it finally became second nature to John to call them his sons, and to call him Dean. He saw how much better Dean felt about it. John might have thought it’s cause Dean still felt more protected to keep pretending to be a boy. So he kept it up. Might as well.  (Me voice) so no. I don't think John would have ever really understood who dean really

was. And I don't think Dean would have ever told him. It was safer for him to have a ruse with his father, and get half of what he could, even with the microagressions, then have his father know, and live hell.

Also the Over performance of masculinity, the vulnerability around people that actually know him (cassie, Lisa, bobby, sam,), and all the weird comments over the season. It’s just trans Dean possessing Jensen, trying to show his truth.

146 notes • Posted 2021-04-15 00:24:48 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[spookyscarykittycat]

Heyooooo!!!! TYSM FOR THE TAG UwU

1) Why did you choose your url? I remember being obsessed with spooky scary skeletons at the time because I saw it everywhere during October when I started this blog. So I wanted to name my blog spookyscaryskeletons but it was taken, so I wanted to name it spookyscarycat because I love cats, but that was also taken, so I added 'kitty' in there, and yeah :)

2) Do you have any sideblogs? LMAOOO I'm kind of notorious for my many sideblogs. Here ya go: @insaneasgardian - Actually my main one mainly for all things Marvel. @theofficialshield - I assist Nick Fury, Maria Hill, and Phil Coulson run this ocassionally. @therealhydra - I'm a double agent 👀 Nah jk, I just hack in from time to time to annoy them. @perfume-of-petrichor - I post study notes for my own reference here! But people are welcome to check them out and request notes. @thatoneguyinthechair - Yeah, this totally isn't Ned Leeds running it, it's me and some other people 😅 I have many more blogs which I don't wanna list I'm lazy 😭

3) How long have you been on tumblr? About 2 year now!

4) Do you have a queue tag? Yes!! I rarely use it though, I find it difficult. All my queued posts are under the tag 'queue ki dil mein mars hain'

5) Why did you start your blog in the first place? My primary blog @insaneasgardian was meant to be all things Marvel, and just replying to asks and tags that were directed to that blog. Eventually though, I started reblogging random, non Marvel related content and the stuff people initially followed me for became hard to find. So I made this blog to reblog random stuff, and shitpost!

6) Why did you choose your icon? BECAUSE BISEXUAL CAT

7) Why did you choose your header? It's pride month!! :DD And pride is banned in Zambia :(( So I wanted to feel as queer as possible to comfort myself.

8) What's your post with most notes? OH IT'S THIS ONE WHERE I LINKED A SOURCE AND CALLED PRINCE PHILIP OUT ON SOME OF THE BAD STUFF HE'S DONE. IT BLEW UP ALMOST INSTANTLY.

9) How many followers do you have? On this blog it's 423 :)

10) How many people do you follow? AS OF RIGHT NOW IT'S 2969 HEHE 69.

11) Have you ever made a shitpost? YES. I have made quite a few!

12) How often do you use tumblr? All 24 hours of the day, I am either scrolling this hellsite or have it open in a side tab, the answer is... all the time.

13) Did you have fight with another blog once? Who won? Same as @an-adventureland. Exactly the same. Mostly friendly banter. But this one time, this one blog who I didn't even know began to comment on this post about India, and said we 'had it easy' during colonial rule (we didn't, no country did) and I got so pissed and all of desi tumblr just united against them. They stopped replying tho so idk who won.

14) How do you feel about 'you have to reblog this' posts? DESPISE THEM. Stop putting pressure on people. They'll reblog what they want to, and it isn't your choice to make the decision for them.

15) Do you like tag games? Sure do! And I get tagged a lot, but I always leave them in drafts, telling myself I'll do them later, then I never do :/

16) Do you like ask games? Yes! I think they're so fun! I rarely get asks after reblogging an ask game tho, oof.

17) Which one of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous? Ahhh, I got so many, but for now I can just think of @aadyeah and @savvysass

18) Do you have a crush on a mutual? Yes AND WE ARE MARRIED (jk) @krazykelpgarden she's never on tumblr tho oof, we mainly talk on hangouts.

19) Tags? YESSS NO PRESSURE THO!! @YOU! @cassiecasyl @iamverybored @warmachinerox-with-an-x-all-caps @sherlock-who-mentalist @aixabi @sylvie-writes @7soulstars @ssstabby-sssnek @karlimogenthau @sir-sleeve-ripper

hi !! got tagged by: @224-12 thank u darling !!

Why did you choose your url? i choose this url a long time ago and i guess at that time i thought it was cute? i don’t remember a specific reason for it. it’s still kinda cute now though haha

Do you have any side blogs? yes! one about kpop and one about movies, tv series, celebs etc. they’re nothing special though and i mostly just use them so i can find stuff back lol

How long have you been on tumblr? i think since 2011 u_u

Do you have a queue tag? nope, i never queue things.

Why did you start your blog in the first place? a girl i was talking to on this forum kept sending me cool gifs and photos and i asked her where she got them from. she told me about tumblr, i made a blog and here we are >u<

Why did you choose your icon/pfp? simply because i like this photo and the colours of it. i haven’t changed it in years 

Why did you choose your header? a mutual of mine used to have a narnia blog too and she made this for me !! it’s the prettiest thing ever !!

What’s your post with the most notes? the ‘’edmund lowkey looking like boyfriend material’’ one HAHA. 

How many followers do you have? a lot <3

How many people do you follow? 123

Have you ever made a shitpost? unfortunatly lmao

How often do you use tumblr? it depends on how busy i am. i usually check it everyday though when i have time.

Did you have a fight with another blog once? Who won? not that i can remember…

How do you feel about “you need to reblog this” posts? idc. sometimes i read them but i reblog things that i want to reblog, not cuz a post told me to lol

Do you like tag games? yea sure why not !!

Do you like ask games? ofc !!

Which one of your mutual do you think is tumblr famous? oh i have no idea. i don’t know about the amount of followers my mutuals have

Do you have a crush on a mutual? no haha

Tags? @lucypcvensie @leondaltons @narnianfarmer @clarkesplaylist @wujuhour @imjustdreamingig @trumpkinhotboy @peveinsie (i saw you in my notes a while back sam !! i know you are there!!!)