#(i will have to eventually replace the battery and the hard drive)

[ollybirdd]

sometimes i think about influencer culture and how i bought a refurbished ipod classic because of an australian guy on youtube who would rip out their hard drives and replace them with absolutely excessive amounts of micro sd storage

[crookedkryptonitebeliever]

It was only supposed to be a one night stand part 6

Tw: yandere stuff, fat shaming from this idiot man here (not towards reader)

Part 7

You won't believe your boss granted you a one-month leave. Well, actually you can. Since you rarely take days off, work is a distraction for you.

When you told Montgomery this, he held you tightly in his arms and sang praises. He's extremely grateful for this and he made it very clear by booking a reservation at a restaurant that is absolutely above his pay grade. Fortunately, though, you managed to convince him to cancel the reservation and stay home instead.

He set up a romantic candle-lit dinner on the dining table, and of course the main dish is some random pricey takeaway. You wondered how the candles haven't tripped the fire alarm yet, only to see that Montgomery replaced its batteries when the dinner is over.

You had a headache when he told you where his hometown is. You don't know if his shitbox can handle a whooping 20-hour drive from your city to his place. You asked why he didn't pick a city closer to home to work in, you're puzzled why he decided to come all the way up here.

"I did. The folks there were mean, so I moved. Thinkin', maybe they're nicer up north." He sighed. "I came to realize that they ain't getting friendlier the further I git. I was dirt poor and stuck in a rut."

He cupped your cheek and gave you a kiss on the forehead. "I'm glad I met ya', honey bunch. You saved my life." Montgomery whispered as he pulled you into a loving hug.

That piece of information he revealed made you wonder how many times he moved. It definitely showed that he's resilient and stubborn... and thin skinned.

However, it was impressive how he managed to shun his natural accent and pick up another one so well. You would have never guessed he was from the South, but now you're completely sure he is. That's probably why he was quiet in the beginning. Sometimes it was hard to understand what he was saying because of his drawls and ways of pronouncing certain words, but it's charming nonetheless.

You think that he's getting bolder because he's gradually feeling secure in his place in your life. Too bold, in fact. You think he's possessive now, he doesn't like you having lunches with your coworkers. To the point that he would go up to them and act nice-nasty, he wouldn't outright tell them to leave you alone or act hostile, he would still put on a darling smile. However, your coworkers would still feel attacked and guilted, but he's so... nice! They can't just accuse him of such things, it's probably a Southern thing.

"Nice of y'all to bring my sweetheart to lunch. Now, what am I gonna do with all these since my darlin' is fed without me? Oh, by the way, I see that y'all are lookin' a lot healthier. Don't get too healthy now, too much of a good thing is a bad thing."

Maybe the fact that he's outright calling them fat in a mean-spirited way flew past your head, maybe it didn't. But it definitely landed on theirs.

Montgomery throwing these types of discrete insults would eventually drive your coworkers away, they stopped bringing you with them, not wanting to face your boyfriend's sassiness afterward.

There were times that you would want to surprise him by visiting his worksite. He would be pleasantly surprised every time, but he isn't usually aware of what he has on him when he would come barreling towards you, picking you up, and giving you a bone-crushing hug. You stopped coming to him eventually because you kept going back to work covered in mud, dust, paint, or a combination of the three.

He keeps you away from his peers, who only give you and him amused smiles. Some of them would come up and tease him, congratulating him for getting out of his shell. You asked them what they meant, as this is a good opportunity to know more about Montgomery. They said that he's extremely shy and would hide in his car during lunch, he works hard and is engrossed in his own job. The first time where he got distracted was when he laid eyes on you, which shook them to the core because he was perceived as a reclusive enigma.

Montgomery would look away and not participate in the conversation, feeling moody because he couldn't have your undivided attention. He goes back to his usual romantic self when his coworkers leave him alone.

The date to leave for his hometown is fast approaching. The two of you wrote up a detailed itinerary, well, mostly you. Because he's used to sleeping in his cramped car and using public bathrooms, he completely forgot that not everyone is comfortable with that.

You're sitting on his lap, and a laptop on your, well... lap. Montgomery rests his head on your shoulder, his arms hold you to him tightly as you ask him if he agrees with the choice of motels.

"I'm fine with anythin' you choose, darlin'. He sleepily mumbled, clearly bored. "Ain't no price too high for my baby." He closed his eyes, tired after working a full day with power tools and materials that are quadruple his body weight.

The only sound in the living room is your keyboard clicks. It's pitch dark and the only light source is the screen.

Montgomery began to snore.

You turned your head to look at him, he's definitely out cold. But his grip on you is unwavering.

You stretched your hand to reach for his credit card on the coffee table.

Your eyes flitting between the numbers on his valuable piece of plastic and the computer screen as you typed the necessary details in.

[ntrlily]

is it possible for people to like, create old consoles/computers from scratch? like if they could replicate the physical hardware using new materials, and plant old software onto the new hardware to create like, a totally new, say, win98 pc? cause i browse online and see a lot of secondhand stuff, but the issue is always that machines break down over time due to physical wear on the hardware itself, so old pcs aren't going to last forever. it makes me wonder if at a certain point, old consoles and computers are just gonna degrade past usability, or if it's possible to build new pieces of retro hardware just as they would have been built 30 or 40 years ago

Can of worms! I am happy to open it though. For the moment I will ignore any rights issues for various reasons including "those eventually expire" and "patent law is the branch of IP law I know the least about"

Off the top of my head so long as you're only* talking computer/console hardware there aren't any particular parts that we've lost the capability to start manufacturing again, but there's more economical approaches to building neo-retro** hardware.

But before digging into that I would like to mention that anecdotally, a great many hardware failures I see on old computers are on parts that you can just remove and replace with something new. Hard drive failures, floppy disc drive failures, damaged capacitors, various issues with batteries/battery compartments, these are mostly fixable without resorting to scavenging genuine old parts. Hard drive and floppy drive failures may require finding something that you can actually plug into the device but this isn't strictly impossible.

Additionally, it's common among retro computing enthusiasts to replace some of these parts with fancier parts than were possible when those machines were new. The primary use cases for buying say, floppy-to-USB converters are keeping old industrial and aviation computers alive longer, but hobbyists do also buy these (I want to put one in my 9801 too but that's pricy so it's just on my wishlist for after I have finished school and settled down ;u;) Sticking SSDs in old computers is also not an uncommon mod.

So-- hold on let me grab my half-disassembled PC-9801 BX2 to help me explain

(Feat. the parts I pulled out of it in the second photo)

In that second photo we have some ram modules, a power supply, floppy drives, a hard drive, and floppy+hard drive cables. The fdd+hdd+cables are easily replaceable with new parts as mentioned, the power supply is a power supply, and the ram chips are... actually I don't know a lot about this one. I have enough old ram chips laying around that I haven't had to think hard about how to replace them.

Now in photo number 1 we have the motherboard and some expansion chips. The sound card is centered a bit here*** and underneath it is a video expansion card and underneath that interesting expansion card setup is the motherboard itself.

The big kickers for manufacturing new would be the CPU and the sound card-- you in theory could make those new but chip fabrication is only economical if it's done beyond a certain scale that's not quite realistic for a niche hobbyist market.

But what you could use instead of those is an FPGA, or Field Programmable Gate Array. These aren't within my field of expertise so to simplify a bit, these are integrated chips (like a CPU or a sound chip) but unlike those, they can be reprogrammed after manufacture, rather than having a set-in-stone layout. So you could program one to act as an old CPU, at a cost that is... more than that of getting a standard mass-manufactured CPU, and less than attempting small scale manufacture of a CPU.

So in theory you could plunk one of those down into a custom circuit board, use the closest approximate off the shelf parts, and make something that runs like a pc-98 (or commodore, or famicom, or saturn, or whatever.) In practice as far as I'm aware, users who want hardware like this use something like the MiSTer FPGA (Third party link but I think it's a pretty useful intro to the project)

And of course for many users, emulation will also do the trick.

*manufacturing cathode ray tube displays is out of the question

**idk if this is a term but I hope it is. If it's not, I'm coining it

***That's a 26k which isn't the best soundcard but it's super moe!!!!!!!!!!

[lensman-arms-race]

Some Skibidi Toilet horror ideas

(Well, beyond the innate horror of humans transforming into toilet monsters, assuming that's how skibidis are formed.)

Hardware units that are beyond repair are broken down and used for spare parts. Their hard drives are wiped before being used to build new units or replace parts in existing units, but there's sometimes still some residual 'echo' left behind, leaving units sometimes experiencing snatches of memories of their 'past lives'.

---

Unit 'zombies':

(This idea assumes that the units can get some power from solar.)

If a unit is incapacitated in battle but not killed, and not retrieved by the alliance (e.g. potentially, brown-coated cameraman trapped under scaffolding at the end of episode 57), it will eventually run out of energy and power down. If they have exposed solar cells, they might get some power back every now and again, but eventually their batteries will become unviable from repeated failed discharge/recharge cycles. Dead unit. However, if metal dendrites eventually form in their decaying circuitry, the dendrites could bridge the gaps between electrodes and allow the dead battery to act as a conductor, and the unit to be powered directly from its solar panels. This would probably result in a unit that 'came back wrong'.

This sort-of happens with real life satellites that have died and not been de-orbited. There are old dead satellites up there that broadcast random gibberish when the sun hits their solar panels just right.

---

Most skibidis seem to be quite happy with their fate - zipping around with a zest for life despite being abominations in the eyes of both the alliance and any remaining humans. However, some skibidis mourn for their old human existence, and have disbanded from the skibidi faction in an attempt to research a cure by themselves. None have fully succeeded but some have had partial success. Unfortunately, these horrible morasses of rampant flesh-growths and porcelain-shards appear to be trapped in an even worse existence...

---

Similar to the above but in the reverse direction: some human survivors live constantly fleeing from the skibidis, fearful of being transformed. Some of these nomads research ways to make themselves immune from the skibidi curse, transforming themselves into something that's not quite human enough to be skibidi-fied. Whatever they are, they look wrong but there is still some intelligence behind their fearful eyes...

---

Some humans are naturally immune to the skibidi curse. However, not all of them fight against the skibidis. Some of these immune humans are in 'skibidi cults' that have fallen for the skibidi propaganda that to be transformed into one of them is a high honour and the next stage of advancement and enlightenment for humanity. These immune cultists therefore see themselves as akin to bodhisattvas (individuals in Buddhism who are capable of achieving enlightenment but have chosen not to go through with it so they can help as many other people as possible reach enlightenment.)*

Therefore, if you're a human survivor and think you've found help in the form of a friendly human face... maybe you haven't.

* Feel free to correct me if I used the wrong term for that.

---

Feel free to add more!

[coffeeknife]

blog reintroduction

the last time i used this account was when i was still a teenager. didn't feel like deleting and remaking on this handle though so uh. hey, i'm robin. i'm a married butch lesbian in mn. mostly logging back in so i can archive stuff on here where other people can see if they want

stuff i might post abt (under the cut)

managing physical/mental disability (my wife and i both have eds)

being broke and maintaining sanity/quality of life

it stuff. i have a cluster of servers at home running a lot of stuff to automate life. some stuff replaces subscriptions but i also do some budget smarthome stuff to make our living situation a little more accessible. i've also dabbled in backing up my personal healthcare record

more generally, extending the lifespan of (sometimes much older) tech & bending it to your will

some interests, though i tend to stay out of fandoms: trigun, dunmeshi, pokemon, ffxiv, persona series (but i dont touch that fandom with a ten foot pole) and a few others im sure i cant think of rn

also, feel free to send me asks about random tech things. i'll post some of my stuff later, but a quick rundown of my daily stuff

JUST replaced my phone. i only got my head out of the apple brainrot very recently, but my phone is a refurb'd note20 ultra that i intend to use for a very long time

desktop i built on the cheap. i5 (dont buy intel new, theyre zionists), intel arc graphics for video encoding

working on moving from a 2018-ish macbook air that's somehow barely runing to a 2010 thinkpad i salvaged from an ewaste bin. it's running pretty well on arch with a cheap SSD but it needs a new battery and a better display (and a modern wifi card eventually)

my server cluster that i've built over the last 10 years or so:

the manager computer is a 2017 imac i cut open to put more ram in. it was my primary computer until this year

2 raspberry pis that the manager dishes out tasks to. one is hooked up to an 8tb hard drive that it serves to the other 2 computers. the other has a zigbee receiver to handle cheap smarthome devices

3rd raspberry pi dedicated to networking. outside of the cluster, hosts a vpn so i can get into my stuff from anywhere without exposing it to the internet

salvaged two acer EEE laptops that i really want to convert into parts of the cluster bc i'm running out of cpu. they didn't come with power supplies and i have yet to get them to turn on

part of my goal for being active on here is to put some accessible resources on home servers out there. bc imo theyre insanely useful and learning how to do this stuff in general is good in the age of technological walled gardens

ok bye. follow me if you want ig, send me asks abt it stuff and i'll probably have something to say

[hexdsl]

My desk, right now.

Just thought I would share this.

For those interested the dock is also a wireless phone charger and attached to is my mic, camera and a 2tb SSD and ethernet.

The laptop is an XPS 12 (9315) with 16GB of RAM, 1TB storage and an I7 (1250u.) its shite, don't buy one, but the keyboard and battery are awesome.

I do have mechanical keyboards, but I really like the Logitech mc keys mini. Wireless is nice and it has a similar key feel to my laptop, which means its not jarring to switch between them.

Things on the desk I do recommend:

if you use wireless devices, get a big ol' battery pack and leave it on your desk, its a good solution and when you use a laptop, like i do, you can use it to charge the laptop in the event of a power cut! (Assuming your laptop will charge from USB PD, which mine does)

The kettle.

That dock means I can switch my monitor and all my peripherals between my laptop and steam deck with just one cable and its really very cool! - it also means when i eventually have the spare scratch to buy a top specced MacBook air, all I gotta do is plug it in and I'm ready to do! which is nice.

That google screen thing (nest hub) is way more useful than i expected and when its not doing anything it has a little weather fog on it which i like a lot.

Things I don't recommend:

The laptop. Performance is not as expected. Though for my requirements (good keyboard and long battery life for writing, also wanted as portable as possible) I still think it was a good buy.

The TV. I never really use it. Should it break I won't replace.

Things not pictured:

2 x 1tb USB hard drives, i use for backup and archive.

1 x network attached 2tb storage, as above

Controllers. I use an xbox 'series' controller on my laptop, when i GFN a controller game. I use a PS4 controller on my steam deck. overall, i prefer the Xbox one.

Thanks for reading. Questions welcome.

[cedar-phoenix]

i'm thinking about a divine i believe keith came up with in the microscope game during road to partizan. to solidify the unity between two steles, it was a divine that required two pilots.

CW psychological horror, war, imperialism

and the terrifying thing about it was that it slowly sapped its pilots' personhood. i think it was described as "two people enter, none leave".

i spent the drive home today thinking about what that means, what that would look like. what i came up with was that it starts off whispering in your ear, "you don't need to care about this", "you don't need to worry about that" and there's something irresistible in it. but what it's actually doing is leaning on you for processing speed, clearing out what it sees as unnecessary files to make more room for quick calculations and battle-steady reflexes. fear isn't important, nor is disgust. those are the first things to go, i think.

you always hated broccoli with a passion, so whenever the officers' cafeteria served it you'd just skip it. until one day you don't. your friends are startled, and you say "i just felt like it" but that's not it, not really. it's the divine you pilot, you intertwine yourself with (as it unravels you) wanting you at optimal operating capacity. optimum nutrition. eventually you tell your friends "optimal nutrition is important", in those words. eventually you don't say anything at all. you don't have anything to say. you slowly stop coming when your friends invite you out, then eventually you stop getting invited. by the time they stop inviting you, it doesn't hurt at all to be left out. there are more important things to do, like get a full night of sleep. optimum rest. when your family writes, sometimes you respond. when you do, they almost accuse the military messaging service of having intercepted the mail and supplied a bad fake instead. you stop going home when on leave. at first it's because there are more important things to do, or you don't feel the need, and eventually it becomes a simple habit. you don't do anything on leave anyways, because it might risk impairing your ability to pilot, to make war. your copilot does the same. the steles shrug and figure they might as well make use of you since you don't seem to need the leave anymore. it doesn't cross your mind to protest. it doesn't really cross your mind to have any opinion at all on it.

and eventually, as the machinery that makes up your body begins to degrade with time as all such forms must, your reflexes slow, your mind not quite as quick as it once was, you are replaced. like an expended battery in a mose when it starts to become unreliable. the divine is given new pilots, for you and your copilot inevitably wear out at the same time - perhaps it spreads the load perfectly between you, or perhaps some part of it knows that for a new pilot to sit next to the very image of their fate would make them turn and run. people find optimization frightening, which is why it must work slowly. and the cycle starts again.

in the mech, you are a whirlwind of terror and destruction. quick to discern ally from foe, calculate and respond to attacks, press the advantage, and strike down the enemy. it becomes automatic. at first it whispers to you, "let me make us incredible." you let it. with some practice, it starts to feel like the best flow state you've ever had. pure concentration, without enough conscious thought to make mistakes. it becomes automatic and at some point you stop needing to think at all. it's like breathing. but instead of occupying your mind with other things, you stop thinking. this is your purpose, you'd feel, if there was enough left of you to feel anything at all. the weak spot of a mech is the pilot. you and your copilot have transcended that. you are components, crucial but in the way a hard drive or a targeting system is crucial. there is no fear to make you turn, no disgust at your actions to make you hesitate, none of the petty baggage of notions such as justice or morality.

(it is worth noting that the horror of its pilots' fate is nothing compared to that of those who find themselves on the wrong edge of its blade.)

in "retirement", the body that once was you awakens at exactly 6:30 every morning without an alarm, does a moderate exercise routine. eats perfect nutrition twice daily, morning and evening, and spends the majority of the day staring at a wall. when family comes to visit, your body shakes hands and makes generic small talk. there is no flicker of recognition in your eyes. eventually they stop coming. your mind does not generate a single feeling about this. those pathways have long since been overwritten.

[mckitterick]

I kept using my favorite laptop, a Lenovo IdeaPad from 2009, for almost 10 years. it had the best keyboard and touchpad layout and feel ever. I've yet to find anything as comfortable to use

eventually, however, just replacing everything I could (hard drive, memory, keyboard, battery, fans, and a couple other parts) still couldn't keep it going - the thing's oil-cooled exhaust started getting so hot it felt like fire, so I figured maybe its time had come to an end

still have it, though. just in case.

sleep comfortably, my sweet Lenovo

You up? Alex Krokus

[reinterlacing]

I'm about to start taking apart my lan (local area network for you witchy mosscore types) in the house I came to in 2019 hoping to find solace and a place to recover.

I'll disconnect the tiny PC and the even tinier tech box + hard drive, and the network switch, and battery backup which make up my little indie "data center" that I built from cheap and cast-off parts. I'll take down the router in the basement and the one upstairs that formed a wifi bridge around the huge chimney so I could work in a bedroom while the servers lived next to the ethernet drop in the cool dark downstairs.

I'm bringing all this with me and will set it up in another basement - one where I can potentially leave it for a while - in a house where I don't know if I can stay more than another few weeks or a month or two.

I came out here with a lot of hope. that hope is now gone, replaced by other hope that's lesser in scope but perhaps more realistic.

I learned a lot.

I learned a bunch of technologies which I taught myself on those doorstop computers - just like when I was 16 and my father saw me using a computer I built in a literal cardboard box and had nothing to contribute. back then I taught myself assembly language out of a library book. in this case it was vital skills I missed from 2014 onward.

I learned people have widely differing ideas when it comes to core values like friendship, loyalty, duty of concern, and so forth. "people" very much including me. I've hurt others due to my own questionable values in that regard and now I know it. my own inability to communicate under certain conditions also did not help.

I learned that every molecule of extroversion within me is "affiliative" - the drive to love & be loved - rather than "agentic" - the desire to project & be seen. a lot of people seem to prefer agentic extroversion, and I learned I have very little to say to those who do.

I lost my best friend & confidant of 30 years, I haven't even begun to be able to address that, and quite frankly, nobody gives a shit.

I honestly don't know what to say or do at this point and am just grateful to have found some Zen teachings along the lines of "before enlightenment, chopping wood and carrying water; after enlightenment, chopping wood and carrying water."

lately people have been having opinions on how I should or shouldn't be doing things. the common thread among all these people is that they have expended minimal effort to understand why I do what I do in the way that I do. accordingly, their opinions on the subject are of little use to me.

I found out the mother who I've had no contact with in many years, whose mind was gone not long after I broke it off, is dying. it wasn't a shock. only in the past few months did I reach sufficient insight on the shit she did to have compassion for her as a human being, and she didn't have anywhere near the 30 years it took for me to get there, extended as the journey was by her bad behavior, lack of insight, and lack of ability to build another human being up rather than tear them down. I needed, and need, a lot of support which I never got.

I treasure my newfound wisdom, but overall, I feel diminished by the past 5 years especially.

at this point I just want to find someone to be naked with - I think if you're still reading you know what I mean by this, or close enough anyhow - who'll be my ride or die and I'll be their ride or die until the wheels really do come off this whole absurd circus or until we're gone, whichever comes first.

I always thought sure that'd happen. I thought sure. even thru all the time being an awkward kid and an awkward adult, I was sure I'd eventually find my constant, and then I would finally be able to put all the hungry restless miles behind me and devote myself to her and to us.

it's hard to overstate how central this is to my identity. people usually wanna sell some individualistic platitudes at this point, but I am long past that bullshit. I am absolutely meant to be part of a dyad and I function so much better within a healthy one.

and now I have to admit, decades late at pointing out the obvious, that the odds don't really seem very good.

I don't know how much fight I have left in me, probably it'd be none but for the continued availability of a very long pharmaceutical supply chain. but those pills are some good shit; I know I'll keep getting up as long as that prescription keeps showing up.

for the position I'm in, I'm in a pretty good position: a nearly-complete 1-man survival gear loadout, a collection of computer bits sufficient to do indie remote work from most anywhere in the lower 48 and in many other countries, and a paid 3-month SIM card.

I can pull 40 bucks an hour even with absolute shit-tier reliability because of my skillset, and I can make a lot more than that if I can ever get stable again. I just need a quiet private space without a bunch of random shit going on in it, especially addiction.

I am a homebody. I need a home. me without a kitchen and plants is already approaching tragic, now please if you are going to be present with me at all, understand that I, need, a home.

and the reality is, I don't think I'm going to have one for a long time yet, if ever.

[milimiki]

Now that I’m out of a job-- which, frankly, is a fucking good thing, considering that my job was toxic as fuck, and the pay was simply not worth it-- a part of me wants to start job hunting by the end of April, but the other part of me wants to take another month-long vacation in may, due to all the injuries I sustained at work.

No, it’s not because I want to work; I want to buy useless shit. I want to buy a lot of useless shit.

I say useless, but they’re more redundant. I have a desktop computer, but I want a laptop. I own multiple cameras and lenses, but I want to switch over to another system.

MacBooks would be a safe bet, as I’ve been a Mac user for 15 years, and I know how to get around the OS better than I do Windows, but I was reminded of the existence of Framework Laptop’s laptops.

They’re pricier than the MacBook Air, but the modular setup has me sold. The laptop I currently own is 9 years old, buggy as hell, the battery is completely drained, and I think it now poses a safety risk. Everything about Framework Laptop’s laptops can be removed and replaced.

I don’t know how well games can be played on those things (I really want to get back into playing Minecraft for many reasons), but as far as productivity is concerned, I think these laptops are the bee’s knees. They’re the most... functional.

If a part goes bad, and they eventually do go bad, I can swap them out. I use the M1 iMac, and to my understanding, a lot of parts, including the goddamn SSD, is fucking sautered to the chassis; the frame that makes up the computer. In my old iMac, the hard drive crashed. Repairing it myself wasn’t exactly easy, but I managed to take the screen off, delve inside, and swap out the hard drives. Apparently, I can’t even swap out the SSD out of this thing.

I would prefer to get a MacBook of some kind, but the concept of Framework Laptop is so enticing, I think I should just go for it. Even though the only OS that they’re offering that I know how to use is Windows. At least I won’t have to rely on Rosetta 2 for compatibility issues on Windows.

But of course, I need to get another job first.

[corbindavenport]

Back to the Mac

I grew up around Mac computers and other Apple products, culminating in a late-2012 Mac Mini that I received around the time I started high school. I haven’t really looked back, but in the past month, Apple has won me back.

The Mac Mini

That late-2012 Mac Mini was a great computer when I first set it up, sometime in 2013 (judging by my Google Photos archives). Before then, I was splitting up my schoolwork, gaming, and personal projects across a multitude of hand-me-down and low-end PCs — my mom’s MacBook Pro, a dying iMac G5, my trusty Eee PC netbook, and an old PC tower, to name a few.

The Mac Mini was the first computer I had entirely to myself that could do everything I wanted out of a computer. It was reasonably fast, and had far more software available than the PowerPC-based Macs I was using before. I could work on my Chrome extensions (Chrome was never available on PowerPC Mac), and I played games like Civilization V and Team Fortress 2.

However, as newer releases of Mac OS X (now macOS) arrived, my Mac Mini became slower and slower. I assume Apple wasn’t optimizing OS X for spinning mechanical hard drives anymore, and the laptop-grade Core i5-3210M processor wasn’t helping.

At some point, I decided to install Windows 7 on a partition using Apple’s Boot Camp, which turned out to be much faster than OS X. Not only that, but I could play more games on Windows than Mac, and they usually ran better! Specifically, I remember Team Fortress 2 occasionally freezing on OS X, but running perfectly on Windows.

My increasing use of Windows culminated in purchasing a used Surface Pro 2 in 2015. It was faster on paper than my Mac Mini, and it could function as a tablet, laptop (with the keyboard attachment), or desktop (with the dock). In hindsight, it wasn’t particularly good at any of those form factors — it had worse battery life and a heavier build than most tablets, the keyboard cover wasn’t great, and most desktops would be better than the docked mode. But just like many people in the mid-2010s, I was a sucker for the concept of a one-size-fits-all PC.

The Surface Pro mostly replaced the Mac Mini, which was eventually relegated to Plex server duty. After that point, I stuck to using PCs, either using Windows or some variant of desktop Linux. My setup for the past few years has been desktop Linux for productivity work, and a Windows partition or drive for gaming — with various Chromebooks and Android tablets thrown in the mix.

That continued all the way until now, in the middle of 2022.

The Quest for a Mail App

Email and calendar are crucial for my job. I’m currently the News Editor at How-To Geek, which means I get emails about embargoed information, clarifications from companies and readers, and other messages that ideally need to be answered (or at least read) as soon as possible. There’s also a shared work Google Calendar with events and various reminders. Besides that, I also use email and calendar for my own personal projects and communication.

I have two Google accounts, one personal and one provided by my job. I need easy access to both email inboxes, all my calendars from both accounts should be in one view, and I need push notifications. That’s something my Android phones and tablets can handle without a problem (even when using Samsung’s calendar app instead of Google Calendar), and last time I tried a similar setup with Gnome-based desktop Linux distributions it worked there too. Not Windows 10, though!

Microsoft’s built-in Mail and Calendar apps do support Google accounts, but they have not been substantially updated since the early days of Windows 10, and I’ve noticed push notifications for mail don’t really work on Windows 11. The traditional Microsoft Outlook application doesn’t officially support Google Calendar at all. The web versions of Gmail and Google Calendar are decent, but accounts are completely isolated — they have to be reloaded when switching accounts, and I can’t see a calendar view with everything from both accounts. Microsoft’s Outlook.com can import and manage multiple Google accounts, but it doesn’t have a unified view either.

There are some other web wrappers that might have done the job, but I don’t want a web wrapper. Mozilla Thunderbird was the ultimately best solution I found on Windows, even though it’s an open-source project funded almost entirely by user donations. However, it doesn’t handle calendars shared from other Google accounts well, and I noticed the app was sending duplicate notifications for some messages.

There were a bunch of other minor issues I was running into on Windows 11, but email and calendar were the main problems. I still need access to Adobe Photoshop and Lightroom, so full-time Linux isn’t an option (fuck you, Adobe), which just leaves buying a Mac.

Hello again

I bought a MacBook Air in July — specifically, the M1 Air with 8 GB RAM and 512 GB storage. That was around the time Apple started shipping the new M2-based Air, but it would have been hundreds of dollars more expensive, and I was fairly sure my usual laptop workload could be handled by the M1 chip.

First, macOS is really nice. There’s a cohesive visual design across most of the operating system, which Microsoft is slowly attempting to address with Windows 11. The notification panel is also much better than on Windows or most Linux distributions, with proper support for stacking and the option to add widgets.

I tried setting up all my Google accounts and using them with Apple’s built-in Mail and Calendar, and sure enough, they worked perfectly. I have some minor gripes with both applications, so I might try some alternative apps that aren’t available on other platforms, but having reliable notifications and not waiting for web apps to load is already saving me from periodic headaches.

The benefit to joining the Apple Silicon party two years later is that nearly all popular software is now compiled natively for the M1 chip, instead of running in Apple’s Rosetta compatibility layer. Chrome, Discord, Visual Studio Code, OneDrive, and Microsoft Office all run natively on my MacBook Air. Skype, Audacity, and Steam are the main holdouts right now.

I don’t like having a significantly different setup for both my laptop and desktop, so I later bought an M1 Mac Mini with 16 GB RAM to match. I now have the Mini at my desk with a USB switch, so I can still use my desktop PC for gaming and other Windows-only tasks. Hilariously, the M1 Mac Mini looks almost identical to my late-2012 Mini.

Holy Shit, M1

I had already read many benchmarks and reviews about Apple’s custom chips over the past two years, but seeing how it impacts my specific workload is wild. Earlier this year, I bought a Surface Laptop 4 with a Ryzen 5 CPU and 16 GB RAM, which was supposed to be my laptop for the next few years. I ran the Speedometer web benchmark with the same version of Chrome across two machines, with the same mix of extensions and other processes, and the Surface was three times slower than the MacBook. I later sold the Surface to help pay for the Mac Mini.

The difference in performance is noticeable in real-world use, too. Most of my apps open in less than a second, with some larger or Intel-only apps requiring a few more seconds. There’s also no cooling fan on the MacBook, and I’ve only occasionally noticed it getting warm. I couldn’t edit episodes of my Tech Tales podcast in Audacity on the Surface Laptop without the fans kicking in after a few minutes (and still leaving me with a warm laptop), while the MacBook stays cool and completely silent.

I also ran benchmarks comparing my gaming PC and the M1 Mac Mini. I built the PC a few years ago, with a first-generation AMD Ryzen 5 1600 CPU (6 cores, 12 threads, released in 2017), an Nvidia GeForce GTX 1080 graphics card, 16 GB RAM, and a 512 GB NVMe SSD. Geekbench 4 reported the Mac Mini is over twice as fast as my PC in single-core CPU performance, and 60% faster in multi-core CPU performance.

I expect the single-core score would be closer if I had an Intel processor in my PC, since AMD’s Ryzen processors have lots of cores that are individually not too powerful, while Intel CPUs usually have fewer cores that are more powerful. The multi-core performance is still impressive, though.

That didn’t completely blow my mind, considering the Ryzen 5 1600 is not a new processor and was designed to split up tasks across less-powerful cores. It’s still impressive, though. The results were flipped in the graphics benchmark, with my gaming PC’s GTX 1080 easily beating the Mac Mini.

The most interesting test so far has been running Planet Coaster on my PC and Mac Mini. Planet Coaster is a simulation game where you build your own amusement park, and like most simulation games, it’s more dependent on CPU performance than the GPU. I installed the game on my Mac Mini, set all the graphical settings to be identical, and loaded the same save file. The Mac Mini was only 2-4 FPS slower on average…. and Planet Coaster isn’t even native on the M1. It’s being translated to ARM instructions in real time. Now that’s cool.

The Uncertainty

Even though Apple’s hardware is clearly next-level, and macOS can handle what I need out of a computer (except playing games), I can still see some of the same problems in the company’s ecosystem that I was happy to leave behind.

For one, Apple’s product release cycle is still unpredictable with strange gaps at times. I wanted something a bit more powerful for my desktop, but there’s nothing between the $700 Mac Mini with a base M1 and the $2,000 Mac Studio with an M1 Max. The iMac lineup has the same problem. New laptops with Windows and Linux are released every week with a much wider range of hardware options.

I’m also avoiding most of Apple’s cloud and subscription services, which could make it more difficult to jump ship in the future. I use OneDrive for cloud storage, Chrome as my web browser (for now — I might go back to Firefox), Microsoft To Do for task management, Discord and Skype for communication, and so on. All those services are still available on Windows and Linux, unlike just about everything made by Apple.

Finally, the gaming situation on Mac is still pretty bleak. I don’t expect that to change unless Valve becomes interested in Mac customers again (Steam is available, but not most of Valve’s own games), or Apple starts funding big-budget Mac ports.

So, after a long time, I’m back to the Mac.

[stevishabitat]

My Kiddo (11yo) is trying to revive a 14yo netbook computer that suffered horribly after a failed attempt to install Windows 10 a few years ago.

We cannibalized parts from it previously, so It has no hard drive atm. Kiddo decided to try loading the portable version of Chrome OS to an SD card and successfully booted off of that 🤣🤣🤣

The battery is non-functional, so kiddo is using a jury-rigged and much gaffer-taped cord from another laptop to power it, but it has to be manually held in place to connect, lol.

I did promise that if it booted successfully, I'd get a cheap hard drive, and then if that works well enough to make it an actual useful computer, I can start replacing other components as I can cobble together the funds.

Our home desktop is a hot mess, so having something else available will make it possible for me to do some long-overdue maintenance on the desktop without leaving us computer-less.

My work computer is so ridiculously locked down these days, I can't use it for anything personal at all.

Eventually I want to convert the desktop to a home server and set up a network of a couple mini pcs for media and home computing use so I can cut off our reliance on streaming services and paid cloud storage. But that's very much not in reach at the moment. Plumbing is taking precedence over technology for sure....

[ms-demeanor]

The Very Basics of Not Killing Your Computer

AVOID HEAT STRESS

If you have a laptop DO NOT use it on a soft surface like a pillow or on a blanket, it’ll block the vents on your computer and make it get really fucking hot inside.

If you have a desktop you gotta open it up and blow out the dust sometimes.

If you are moving your laptop in a bag turn the laptop off. Don’t put it to sleep, don’t just shut the screen, turn it off, because otherwise it’s in the bag generating heat and there’s nowhere for the heat to go in the bag. OFF. Not sleep. OFF.

DO NOT DROP

Okay I know that should be obvious but drop damage to your hard drive is bad bad news. Be as careful as you can to set your computer gently on flat surfaces; don’t leave it hanging out on a bed where it can get knocked off, don’t set it on the roof of your car. And yes, just dropping it a couple inches can kill your hard drive or totally shatter your screen.

DON’T PUT SHIT ON YOUR KEYBOARD

Look I’ve seen four people ruin their laptops because they had a pen on the keyboard and closed the laptop and it fucked up the screen and the keyboard and it sucks so much and you feel awful after it happens because it’s so avoidable just don’t put things on your keyboard and always check that your laptop is clear before you close it.

PROTECT YOUR PORTS ON YOUR LAPTOP

You’ve only got one power jack and a limited number of other inputs on your computer and if they detach from the motherboard you’re fucked. USB ports get damaged because people use them a lot and eventually it weakens the connection and then they just stop working and it sucks. You can get around this with USB ports by using a USB hub to connect things like your keyboard and mouse.

For your power plug you just gotta be careful. Avoid tripping over the cord at all costs, don’t yank the plug out of the computer. It will SUCK VERY MUCH A LOT if you have to buy a new computer because the power port lost contact with the motherboard.

Don’t move your computer with things plugged into it. Take the power cord off before you put your laptop in the bag, take out the USB mouse dongle, do not travel with little nubby bits sticking out of your computer that can easily get caught or get tweaked or snap off inside of the thing.

(I really can’t emphasize enough that most of the “it will cost more than it’s worth to fix this” laptops I see are because of USB ports and power jacks. People don’t seem to know that this isn’t something that can be fixed easily; a broken power jack is a “remove the motherboard and resoldier components” job, not a “plug a new one in in fifteen minutes” job and most computer repair shops aren’t going to solder things for you and if they DO it’s going to be very expensive)

RESTART YOUR SHIT AT LEAST ONCE A MONTH AND JUST LET THE FUCKING UPDATES RUN

You should probably restart more than once a month but whatever. This is actually something that I consider part of reducing heat stress because when your processor is straining to keep up with all the background bullshit that’s running from a program you opened three weeks ago it’s going to use up resources and get hot and look just restart it once in a while.

Also the updates are almost always okay and safe and generally running updates is a good and secure thing to do (though maybe follow a blog dedicated to the OS you run because if there IS a problem with the updates that blog will probably talk about it before the update gets forced on your computer)

ANTIVIRUS BULLSHIT

Yes you should probably be running an antivirus.

Sophos is free and it’s fine. But don’t pay for it - if you’re using Sophos use the free version.

If you’re looking for something paid and a little more comprehensive I recommend ESET - get the cheap version, renewals cost less than the initial purchase, and feel free to get a multi-year version, the credentials follow your email not the computer so if your computer dies before your license expires you can install the license on a new computer.

DO NOT INSTALL NORTON OR MCAFEE THEY ARE EXPENSIVE BULLSHIT. Kaspersky is whatever. It’s less bullshit than Norton or McAfee but not as good as ESET for about the same cost.

If you think you’ve got a virus run the free version of Malwarebytes and get your shit cleaned.

KEEP LIQUIDS THE FUCK AWAY FROM YOUR COMPUTER

Again this should be obvious and yet. But seriously, just make a rule for yourself that drinks aren’t allowed on the same table as your computer and you’ll save yourself a lot of headaches.

PLUG YOUR COMPUTER INTO A UPS

Okay I fucking hate amazon but here’s a thing you should be using, just search the rest of the internet for “surge protector/UPS” and you’ll find something that isn’t from amazon - APC is a solid brand for this.

Basically you want a fat surge protector that has a little bit of a battery backup and you want to plug your computer (desktop OR laptop) into that instead of into the wall. The benefit of this is twofold:

1) if there’s a power surge the UPS will prevent your computer’s power supply from getting fried and possibly frying parts of your motherboard

2) if there’s a power outage and you’re *at* your computer you’ll have enough time to save what you’re working on before your computer loses power (like, you’ll maybe only have a minute or two on a small UPS but that’s still time to hit CTRL+S and keep from losing work)

At a bare, bare minimum your computer should be plugged into a surge protector but NOT directly into the wall.

BACK YOUR SHIT UP

[we interrupt this yelling for me to tell you that Western Digital has apparently released their new My Passport line and I’m obligated to inform you that you can get a 2.5″ USB 3.0 backup drive with FIVE FUCKING TERABYTES OF STORAGE for $130. Or you can get 4TB for $93. Or you can get 1TB for $53. basically what I’m saying is that it is not only cheap computer season it is also cheap hard drive season.]

[also if you’re getting a backup drive get western digital not seagate seagate fucking sucks and has a much higher failure rate]

Uh, okay, anyway - Do an image backup of your computer every once in a while so that if you get infected or your hard drive dies or whatever you can just restore from backup and move on like nothing happened.

HERE’S HOW TO DO AN IMAGE BACKUP.

SAVE YOURSELF THE WEAR AND TEAR

You know what is cheap? USB Keyboards and USB mice. You know what is not cheap? Fixing the touchpad on a laptop or replacing a laptop keyboard.

Get yourself a USB hub, a USB Keyboard and a USB Mouse (wired or wireless, doesn’t matter) and if you’re using your laptop at home plug *that* into your computer.

Also if your keyboard on your laptop breaks it’s fine just to use a USB keyboard instead I promise; if the screen breaks it’s also usually cheaper and easier to get a used or inexpensive monitor than it is to replace the screen. Your laptop is basically just a very small version of whatever bullshit is going on inside a desktop, if the peripherals break but the core components are fine you can just use it like a desktop.

Unless it’s a piece of shit that doesn’t have any USB ports or video out in which case you got ripped off, friend, demand functionality in your devices I’m sorry.

/rant

[kpop-zone]

Twice reaction to slapping their s/o

Nervously, you leaned to the side to be able to look past the driver at the dashboard clock.

2:47

“Shit...Can you drive a little faster please?”

You asked the driver panicked who gave you a look of commiseration through the rearview mirror.

“I’m sorry, I’d love to but I’m already driving as fast as I can.”

He replied apologetically and you forced a smile to thank him for his effort. You were tempted to offer him some money to make him rethink his reply, but then you figured that you had already messed up enough for one night. You couldn’t afford to get in trouble with him or the police. The only thing that was left to do now was to pray. Pray that your girlfriend had already fallen asleep and hadn’t noticed that you were missing for nearly five hours without any sign of life. You had left your apartment around 6pm to “grab a quick drink” with a few friends, but then one thing had led to the other and now it was almost 3am although you had told your girlfriend that you would be home no later than 10pm. The time had just flown by without you noticing and when you figured that you could sent your girlfriend a sign of life at last, you had realized that your phone was dead. You were sure that she had probably tried to reach you a million times already to no avail and was close to calling the police right now. You just needed to get home as fast as possible.

As soon as the driver pulled up to the building, you threw some bills to the front before bolting out of the car, not caring that you had probably just given him a tip of ₩50,000. The only thought that was left in your brain was to free your girlfriend from the anxiety that she was probably feeling right now. By the time you reached the front door, your lungs were slightly burning and you were panting like you had just run a marathon, but you didn’t give yourself time to catch your breath before quietly unlocking the door, just in case your girlfriend was asleep already. As soon as the door swung open though you could see that the light was still on in the living room and you knew that she must have been waiting for you.

Your suspicion was proven to be right when you heard loud footsteps nearing the door, causing you to mentally prepare yourself for a good scolding. But nothing could have prepared you for what was about to come. As soon as your girlfriend stepped into your field of vision, you could see that she was more than just angry. Her eyes seemed to be spitting fire and you gulped intimidated. Automatically, your mouth opened in an attempt to calm her down with an apology but before you even had the chance to utter a single word, you could suddenly feel your head being whipped to the side due to a painful force. Dumbfounded, you touched your cheek and looked at your girlfriend. That had been unexpected...

Nayeon

Perplexed, Nayeon stared at her own hand, not having expected herself to slap you. But she had just been so angry when she saw you standing in the door, being totally fine. How could you have consciously put her through so much agony? Torn between feeling guilty and angry, Nayeon stood in front of you, opening and closing her mouth without making a sound, not knowing whether she should apologize or scold you for your reckless behavior. When she looked into your eyes that were filled with utter disbelief though, she automatically reached out to touch your arm.

“I’m sorry.”

Nayeon mumbled ashamed, feeling how a blush rose to her cheeks.

“But do you know how worried I was?? Why didn’t you just send me a text?”

She added, not being able to fully spare you the accusations.

“I know that I’ve messed up. Time just flew by and I didn’t notice that my battery had died...”

You answered sheepishly while showing her the black screen of your phone, causing Nayeon to sigh.

“I swear to god, Y/N, if you scare me like that one more time...”

She threateningly put her hands on her hips and stared you down until you lowered your head bashfully. Her own guilt, however, forbade her to make you feel bad any longer. It seemed like both of you had simply allowed your emotions to get the better of you tonight. Hesitantly, Nayeon took a step closer to you, causing you to look at her. Carefully, she cupped your cheek and stroked it apologetically.

“Does it hurt?”

She asked with her voice dripping with regret.

“A little...”

You admitted and Nayeon immediately grabbed your hand to pull you to the kitchen. After asking you to sit down on the kitchen counter, she pulled out a bag of frozen peas from the fridge and gently pressed it against your cheek while standing between your legs. Fueled by her bad conscience, her hands didn’t stop caressing your skin; not even for a second.

Tonight, both of you had probably learned a lesson that you would never forget...

Jeongyeon

“Do you know what cellphones are for?? I was about to call the police!”

Jeongyeon yelled at you, blinded by her rage that had replaced the immense worry that had tortured her the past five hours the moment she had seen you standing at the door completely unharmed. Her chest was rising and falling rapidly, and she had to suppress the urge to rip your head off. Never had she ever been so scared before. The voices in her head had told her over and over again that you had been kidnapped or hit by a car. If you had needed one more minute to come home, she had probably completely lost it.

“I-I... lost track of time.”

You stuttered dumbfounded while rubbing your cheek. Only now Jeongyeon realized what she had done, and she exhaled shakily, feeling how her anger slowly left her body.

“So, nothing bad happened?”

Jeongyeon reassured herself and you shook your head sheepishly, causing her to feel relieved, but also disappointed by your selfishness at the same time.

Awkward silence settled between the two of you while Jeongyeon tried to get a clear head again. Slowly her heartbeat reached a normal rhythm again and the uncomfortable feeling of regret formed in her stomach. Hadn’t she overreacted a bit? Shyly, she looked at you but you barely dared to meet her eyes, causing her heart to ache. Her bad conscience had finally caught up to her, leaving her with nothing but an urge to make it up to you.

“Come here...”

Jeongyeon mumbled before nodding her head towards the kitchen. Hesitantly, you followed her and sat down at the kitchen table, waiting for her to give you an ice pack. While you cooled your cheek, Jeongyeon awkwardly stood beside you, knowing that she had to apologize to you, but also feeling too proud to do so after what you had put her through tonight. Somehow she still needed to make you feel better though...

“Are you hungry?”

Jeongyeon asked, hoping that you would understand her without words.

Momo

Perplexed, you looked at Momo who simply stared at you without uttering a single word. Her face was almost blank, making you wonder what was happening in her head right now. You, for your part, were too speechless to apologize. Had she really slapped you? You were aware that you had upset her tonight, but you would have never thought that Momo would ever physically hurt you. Instead of giving you an answer to the thousand questions that were racing through your head though, your girlfriend suddenly turned around and walked away, leaving you behind with an open mouth. What a great way to resolve a conflict...

After squandering away at least half an hour in the living room in order to avoid another awkward encounter with your girlfriend, you eventually followed her to the bedroom. To your surprise, the lights were still on in the room and Momo was leaning against the headboard with her arms crossed while staring ahead vacantly. Unsure you lingered at the door for a bit before shuffling to your side of the bed. Several minutes passed in which neither of you spoke. Eventually, however, Momo’s voice cut through the heavy silence, causing you to flinch slightly.

“Why didn’t you answer my calls?”

She asked, the disappointment in her voice being unmistakable.

“My phone battery died...”

You mumbled sheepishly before painful silence surrounded the two of you again. You were about to flee the scene, unable to bear the tension any longer, when Momo finally decided to end your torture.

“I-I didn’t mean to slap you.”

She stuttered almost too silent to be heard and when you turned to look at her, you saw that she was hanging her head bashfully. Automatically, your hand reached over to grab hers, causing her to look at you.

“I know.”

You smiled slightly and Momo exhaled relieved.

“I’m sorry.”

Both of you said at the same time and you giggled sheepishly. There were still a few things unresolved, but at least you had finally managed to cut through the tension...

Sana

Frozen you stared ahead while trying to find an explanation for your stinging cheek other than that your girlfriend had just slapped you. This was Sana after all...the most loving person that you had ever met. Your frozen state, however, was suddenly disrupted by the hysterical voice of the person that had left you speechless in the first place and you shook off your trance to be able to focus on her.

“Where were you?? I was so worried, I thought someone had raided you and you wandering around the city hurt...”

Sana sobbed and only now you realized the miserable condition that she was in. Her hair was completely disheveled, and her face was puffy as if she had cried for five hours straight.

“You said you wouldn’t come home late! Why didn’t you let me know where you were?”

She continued although it was hard to make out her words between her sobs. Not being able to stand seeing her this way, you quickly took a step forward and wrapped your arms around her body. Sana buried her head in the crook of your neck without hesitation and started soaking your shirt with her tears while you tried to calm her with a thousand apologies. It needed a while till Sana’s uncontrollable sobbing turned into light sniffling, but eventually she loosened her tight grip around your waist and leaned back to look at you. Her gaze immediately zeroed in on your cheek and she reached out to stroke it gently.

“I’m sorry.”

Sana mumbled bashfully after examining your cheek and wincing when she noticed a red mark.

“I’m sorry...I’m sorry...I’m sorry.”

She kept on whispering while placing a kiss on your burning skin between every apology.

How could you stay mad at that?

Jihyo

“Do you know what time it is?”

Jihyo yelled at you, not caring about the neighbors that could probably hear her.

“I have no problem with you going out, but would it have been so hard to send me a text telling me that you’re late??”

She continued, needing to vent the immense anger that was seething inside of her. If she hated one thing, it was unreliability. You could pull an all-nighter for all that she cared, but she would want to know that beforehand. Because without a heads-up, she had worried the whole night and hadn’t been able to sleep a singly second although she had an exhausting schedule ahead of her.

“I didn’t think it was this late already...”

You mumbled sheepishly, causing Jihyo to scoff in disbelief. How delightful to hear that you seemed to have had fun... Without giving you the chance to justify yourself further, she simply turned on her heel and stormed to your shared bedroom. The anger inside of her was still seething, so she threw herself on the bed and buried herself under her blanket. It didn’t take long till she heard you laying down beside her and she huffed in annoyance. How could you have been so selfish? Usually you always informed her about everything. Which was probably the reason for her anxiety tonight. She had just assumed that something bad must have happened to you if you didn’t reach out to her.

The longer Jihyo thought about the events of the night, the more restless she felt. Even when she didn’t have to worry anymore now, countless other thoughts were still making her brain work at full stretch and sleep was a distant goal. Hadn’t she been too harsh with you? In hindsight, the memory of her hand colliding with your face caused her to wince and she tossed and turned for hours. If you would slap her every time that she didn’t pick up her phone, she would probably permanentely walk around with a swollen face. How could she have punished you for a misdeed that she committed almost every week? Oh how she hated when her temperament got the better of her...

She definitely needed to sort things out with you tomorrow.

Mina

For a second, Mina’s own action caused her to be speechless. It had been a while since she had lost control like that. If she was honest, Mina couldn’t remember a time that she had ever used violence to express her emotions. But what was done, was done. It was too late to backtrack now, so she decided to stick to the route that she had chosen.

“Do you know how worried I was?”

She asked calmly while putting her hands on her hips and staring you down.

“I didn’t mean to worry you...”

You tried to justify yourself, causing Mina to chuckle coldly.

“That’s good to know, because as I see it, I worried about you all night while you didn’t even waste a single thought on me.”

She replied, not knowing whether she was trying to make you feel guilty about your behavior or to make herself feel less guilty for slapping you.

“I...It’s not like that.”

You stuttered helplessly, proving to Mina that her strategy was working. If she wouldn’t feel so bad herself right now, she would probably enjoy seeing your bad conscience nagging on you. But under these circumstances, she just wanted the night to end as quickly as possible and to just forget about it. Therefore, she simply turned on her heel and walked towards the bedroom.

“Don’t scare me like that ever again...”

Mina said over her shoulder shortly before disappearing out of the room, not being able to leave this conflict completely unresolved.

Hopefully you could leave this night behind in the morning. She didn’t know if she could even bear to look at you if you ever brought it up again...

Dahyun

“Whoa, Y/N, I don’t know why I did that.”

Dahyun gasped before slamming her hand on her mouth in shock.

“D-did you just slap me?”

You replied dumfounded and Dahyun nodded hesitantly.

“I think I did. Oh my gosh...why did I do that?”

She still couldn’t believe that she had allowed her anger to get the better of her and she simply stared at you in disbelief. Eventually her shock died down, leaving behind nothing but a feeling of shame.

“I’m sorry, Y/N. I was just so angry and caught up in the moment. Of course that’s not an excuse, but I guess that’s why I...slapped you.”

It was still hard for Dahyun to say out loud what she had done. Although she understood the reasoning behind her actions, she could not believe that she would ever turn to such methods.

“And I’m sorry for worrying you. I didn’t mean to vanish off the face of the earth like that.”

You replied sheepishly and Dahyun hummed understandingly.

“Yeah, I know that you probably meant no harm.”

She knew that she could not expect you to give her the benefit of the doubt while not cutting you some slack for your mistake at the same time. It was clear that both of you had done some things tonight that you would gladly make undone. Unfortunately, there was no button to rewind though and you needed to find another way to sort things out between the two of you.

“Let’s talk?”

Dahyun proposed while pointing towards the couch and you nodded in agreement.

Why couldn’t she have acted like this from the start?

Chaeyoung

Dumbfounded, you looked at Chaeyoung, hoping that she would be able to make more sense out of this situation than you could, but for some reason, she looked even more taken by surprise than you.

“What was that?”

You asked confused and Chaeyoung shook her head.

“I have absolutely no idea.”

She replied absentmindedly, looking like she was doubting her whole existence right now. Eventually, she snapped out of her trance and scanned you worriedly.

“Are you ok?”

Chaeyoung asked and you instinctively touched your cheek again. It was still stinging a bit, but if you were honest, you were more shocked than hurt right now. You would have never expected that she would hurt you.

“Yeah, I’m fine...”

You answered brusquely, but your girlfriend immediately picked up on your upset.

“No you’re not and that’s ok. I don’t really know how to make you feel better though... I’m sorry and I promise that I will never do it again, but I know that this doesn’t really fix things.”

Chaeyoung said pensively, sounding like she was incredibly disappointed in herself.

“It’s ok. Let’s just go to bed and talk tomorrow about it when we both have a clear head again.”

You proposed, trying to find a solution to this awkward situation.

“Of course, whatever you want.”

Your girlfriend immediately agreed, but you could see that something was still bothering her.

“Do you want me to sleep on the couch?”

She added conscience-stricken and you thought about her offer for a second before shaking your head. Judging by the look on her face, she was probably already punishing herself more than enough. There was no need for you to resort to any drastic punishments as well.

“No, you need your sleep. You have to get up in a few hours.”

You replied with a slight smile playing on your lips while pointing at the clock on the wall.

For some reason you already knew though that your girlfriend would probably not be getting much sleep tonight anyways, no matter whether she would sleep on the couch or in your bed...

Tzuyu

If the current situation weren’t so serious, you would probably laugh at Tzuyu’s puzzled expression. She was staring at you with wide eyes and her mouth almost formed a perfect circle. Both of you seemed to be waiting for the other one to break the silence, but neither of you seemed to know what to say.

“Y/N...”

Tzuyu eventually made the first step, but her voice gave in before she could utter a complete sentence. Instead, she started to fidget with her fingers and chose to look at the floor. Therefore, you decided to try voicing your feelings.

“Why did you do that? I don’t know you like this...”

You asked and your girlfriend finally met your eyes again.

“I-I don’t know. I wasn’t really thinking clearly.”

She furrowed her brow as if your question was painfully martyring her brain. Nothing was left of the fury from before anymore and she looked like your considerate girlfriend again, making you wonder whether the slap had just been a fever dream. But the weird distance that was gaping between the two of you told a different story. The unfamiliarity of this situation was unbearable, and you hesitantly took a step forward to get closer to your usual source of comfort. But instead of closing the distance, Tzuyu walked backwards to increase the distance between the two of you again. In defeat, you sighed and decided to give your girlfriend the space that she was apparently seeking.

“Let’s go to bed?”

You asked and Tzuyu silently nodded in response.

Without wasting your time on another attempt to get close to her, you walked to your bedroom and got ready for bed. Your girlfriend, however, took her time to follow you. Only when you were already slipping under the covers, Tzuyu finally entered the room. For a moment she looked at you as if she wanted to say something but didn’t know the right words. Patiently you held her gaze, but eventually your girlfriend simply sighed and shuffled to her side of the bed. She laid down all the way at the edge and turned her back to you, making it clear to you that she wasn’t interested in talking. Therefore, you reluctantly turned off the bedside lamp and tried to curl up in a comfortable position. Yet, the unsettled conflict between the two of you didn’t let you rest peacefully. You tossed and turned for what seemed like hours until the voice of your girlfriend caused you to almost jump out of bed in surprise.

“I don’t know why I did what I did, but I will find out and make sure that it will never happen again. I promise.”

She said determined, making you realize that she had probably not been able to sleep any more than you. Somehow the determination of her words gave you the comfort that you had been seeking though and you felt how the tension of the conflict finally left your body. You knew that your girlfriend would keep her word.

[bespokeprovocateur]

4-Tier Survival.

The tiers are as follows:

TIER ONE: This is your everyday carry (EDC) on person. You should have this with you 24/7 or as close to 24/7 as possible. Basically, if you have pants on, you should have these items with you.

TIER TWO: This is your EDC bag. You should have this with you or within reach 24/7. Take it with you to work, the grocery store, running to the gas station, etc. If you walk out the door of your house, it should be with you.

TIER THREE: This is your 72 hour kit, bug out bag, SHTF bag, or any of those other catchy names for them. At a minimum you need one. If you only have the funds for one, so be it. But, eventually I would suggest having one for the house, the vehicle and possibly at work if you have the space to store one.

TIER FOUR: This is for long term preparedness. This is long-term food and water storage and procurement methods. Always prepare your home to shelter-in-place first. Then, if you have a secondary bug out location, prepare it. Depending on the disaster or emergency you may or may not be able to bug out. On the other hand, you may be forced to evacuate or bug out.

TIER ONE: On-person EDC

Blades/Tools

Quality folding knife of your choice.

Quality multi-tool.

Lock picks/Bogota

Small compass.

Pen and small notepad

Small survival whistle.

Cotton bandana.

P-38 can opener.

Cell Phone.

Cordage

550 Cord. There are lots of different, creative ways to carry. There are bracelets, key fobs, zipper pulls, belts, even lacing your boots/shoes with it. Learn how to braid your own items.

Fire

Small brand name lighter

Small firesteel.

Tinder. Could be a magnesium rod, dryer lint, or any brand of quick tinder that is out on the market now, you should know what works.

Firearm

Light

Small flashlight.

Keychain LED light.

USB Drive

I use my USB drive to store all types of important documents and other information I run across and want to save. I have encrypted my USB drive in case it falls into the wrong hands. (I strongly suggest doing this.) Also, save the information under nondescript names. In other words, don’t save the file as: “Insurance Papers” or “Social Security Cards”, etc.

Birth/Marriage Certificates

Social Security Cards

Driver’s License

Insurance Policies/Cards

Vehicle Registrations/Insurance

Medical/Shot Record

Recent Check Stubs/Bank Statements

Stocks/Bonds

Property Description

Another option/addition to this is online file storage. There are many places available on the internet to store files on a remote server and be able to access from any computer or cell phone with internet access.

TIER TWO: EDC Bag
Tier two is going to contain pretty much everything from tier one except bigger and better.

Blades/Tools

Quality fixed blade knife of your choice. Again make sure it is sharp.

Sharpening stone.

Quality multi-tool. I would look at one to complement the one from tier one. A little larger and possibly features that the other does not have. I personally wouldn’t want the exact same model from tier one. Look at the ones that have the screwdriver possibilities.

Small entry bar or pry bar.

Larger more reliable compass. Possibly a GPS system if you are so inclined. If you are in a large urban environment, I would have a city map in my EDC bag.

Pens and notepad again. Plenty of pens and permanent markers.

P-51 can opener.(A scaled-up version of the P-38.)

Cell Phone/Communications

This is where I would keep a wall charger for my cell phone.

I would also think about one of the emergency chargers that run off of batteries at this point.

I also carry a pay-as-you go phone in my EDC bag. On some occasions when one service is down, others are still up and running. It’s a cheap insurance policy.

Radio of some sort. Depends on your location and abilities.

Cordage

I would carry no less than 25 feet of 550 cord in my EDC bag. The more the better. Again, options here, braid it to take up less space, key fobs, I’ve seen some braided water bottle carriers.

I would toss in some duct tape and electrical tape here. You can take it off of the cardboard roll and roll it onto itself and it takes up very little room.

Possibly some wire, picture hanging wire works well.

Possibly some zip ties. Various sizes as you see fit.

I also have a couple of carabiners clipped to my bag.

Fire

Another cheap lighter.

Larger firesteel.

More tinder. Personally I prefer the magnesium, but whatever you are comfortable with.

Firearm

I would however warrant the carrying of at least two spare magazines for the handgun in tier one.

First-Aid

Basic first aid kit.

Package of quick slotting agent.

Basic EMT shears.

Basic pain relievers, fever reducers, upset stomach tablets etc.

Small bottle of hand sanitizer.

Baby wipes.

Food

I always carry a couple of energy or meal replacement bars in my bag. If nothing else, I may have to work through lunch and need a snack.

Some people will toss a freeze-dried meal or MRE if they have room.

A small pack of hard candy.

Light

I personally prefer a headlamp at this stage. You can use a headlamp as a flashlight; you can’t use a flashlight as a headlamp.

Extra batteries. On the subject of batteries, do your best to acquire electronic items that use the same size of battery.

Another keychain light. I have one attached to the inside of my bag to aid in finding items inside in low-light situations.

Some people carry chemical light sticks in their EDC bag. I have found battery operated light sticks that also have a small flashlight in one end I prefer to carry.

Shelter

I keep a packable rain jacket at all times and depending on the weather a packable pair of rain pants.

I also keep a couple of “survival” blankets in my bag.

I keep a couple of contractor style garbage bags as well.

Water

I have a stainless steel water bottle that stays in my pack at all times. If I am traveling longer than my normal commute, I will toss in a small collapsible water container.

Ziploc bags.

Two-part chemical water purifier.

Filtering drinking straw.

Toss in a couple of standard coffee filters to filter sediment if needed.

Now, bear in mind, my EDC bag is not for long-term survival. I feel like I could sustain myself for several days if I needed to with the contents of my pack. However, that is not its intended use. All of the tiers are designed to sustain you until you can “make it” to the next tier.

TIER THREE: Larger rucksack or backpack

A lot of people would call this the 72 hour kit. However, I feel that in this stage of the game, you should be able to carry enough to survive indefinitely.

Blades/Tools

Quality fixed blade knife. If you want you can double up from tier two. Depends on your requirements. Remember, two is one, one is none.

Small quality folding shovel.

Quality hatchet.

Small machete.

Some type of saw or saw blades. .

Tools for forced entry if warranted. Pry bars, bolt cutters, etc.

Tool kit. Depends on your location and environment. At the bare minimum carry enough tools to repair anything that you are depending on in a survival situation.

Cell Phone/Communications

Depending on the level of the disaster cell phones may or may or may not be working.

Again, depending on your location and abilities, depends on the type of communications you should carry.

One thing I have not seen widely talked about is two way radios. Obviously this would be if more than one person is in your party. However, now you start talking about batteries and chargers.

Cordage

At least 100 feet of 550 cord.

Depending on your environment, climbing rope, harness and gear may be warranted.

Tape, electrical and duct.

Zip ties, various sizes

Wire, picture wire.

Carabiners, various sizes.

Fire

Cheap lighter.

Firesteel.

Tinder.

Camp stove. Small, lightweight, portable. A lot of good information about this out there. Pay special attention to the type of fuel that the stove you select uses.

Firearm

This depends on the type of situation you are in. I will list the types of firearms I would have, not necessarily carry, and reasons why. If this is a true bug out situation obviously the adults in your party could carry at least one, more than likely two, long guns.

We have already discussed a handgun.

“Modern Sporting Rifle”. Be it an AR based platform, an AK-47, Mini-14 etc. I personally like the AR platform. However, A’s can be a bit finicky if not properly cleaned and maintained. Something you may not be able to do well in a TEOTWAWKI situation. So, I would grab an AK-47. Whatever your budget and preference lead you to.

.22 caliber rifle. There are many options, I personally recommend the Ruger 10-22. There are several collapsible stocks available. This is for hunting small game.

Home defense shotgun. I would suggest a 12 gauge. The options and setups are endless. You can go as mild or as wild as your budget and imagination allow. This is not something I would necessarily always grab. However, this is something I feel that no home should be without. The sound of a shell racking into the chamber of a pump shotgun is a sound that will deter most people without even firing a shot.

Extra magazines and ammunition.

First-Aid

More advanced first aid kit. There are pre-made ones on the market or come up with your own.

Quick clotting agent.

EMT Shears.

Pain relievers, fever reducers, upset stomach pills, etc.

A week’s supply of any prescription medications.

Any supply of antibiotics or narcotics that you can procure.

Knowledge of natural/herbal remedies. Here is a great area where knowledge can help you a lot longer than supplies can.

Food

If you want to put in a three day supply of freeze-dried meals or MRE’s. Go for it. But here is where procuring your own food will come in handy.

I would suggest some type of mess style kit for cooking. Again, your choice.

Fishing kit. Fishing line, assortment of hooks, sinkers and artificial bait if desired.

Fishing “yo-yo” traps. Can be set and left alone to catch fish while you are doing some other task. I feel these are a necessity. They are light and take up little room.

Snare kit. I would suggest several pre-made snares and supplies to create more.

Traps. Connibear style traps, an assortment of sizes. 4-6 is all you should need.

Frog gigs. Could also be used for spearing fish, depending on your location.

You also have a firearm for taking small or large game.

Knowledge of wild edibles in your area or bug out location.

Light

Again, I would suggest a headlamp and extra batteries.

Use your discretion for what else you may want/need.

Shelter

Two changes of clothes. One for warm weather and one for cool/cold weather. Again depending on your environment.

I would suggest at least 3 pair of underwear and 6 pair of socks.

Packable rain gear.

Quality bivy style shelter or tarp.

Quality sleeping bag. Again, do some research. See what fits your needs and budget.

Sleeping pad if wanted.

Possibly a pocket style hammock.

Water

Stainless steel water bottle.

Chemical water treatment.

Water filter/purifier. Again, look at your budget and needs.

Coffee filters for straining out sediment.

Collapsible water storage.

TIER FOUR: Long term preparedness.
Even though this is the largest of all the tiers, I will probably go into the least amount of detail. There are many great sources of information concerning long term preparedness, SurvivalBlog.com being one of the best, if not the best, in my opinion.

Blades/Tools

Obviously any blade or tool previously discussed. Except full size versions.

An ax, saws, shovels, garden hoes, rakes, etc.

Possibly a plow, seeder, etc, for planting a garden.

Variety of hand tools.

Automotive tools, carpentry tools, etc.

Sewing machine, needles, thread, clothing patterns, etc.

Begin thinking of ways you can use your tools and knowledge to develop a skill that can be used for trade or barter.

Communication

Short wave radios, ham radios, etc.

Two way radios.

Cordage

Large amounts of any cordage or supplies under cordage already discussed.

Fire

Cast iron stove.

Fireplace.

Begin thinking now about how you will be heating your home in the winter. Think about how you will be cooking your meals. Also, think about how you will get fuel for your fire.

Firearms

We discussed in tier three the types of firearms I felt were needed.

Begin thinking about amount of ammo you can and are willing to stockpile.

Begin thinking about reloading your own ammunition. Begin thinking about stockpiling supplies. This can be turned into great bartering items.

First Aid

Begin developing a large first aid supply. Think about what you will need to do without a doctor present. Suture kits, surgical kit, trauma kit, etc. There will be no running to the emergency room.

Begin thinking about dental supplies. Again, there will possibly be no dentists to go to.

Again, knowledge is key in this situation. There are some good books about this type of thing. Take a first aid class, learn CPR. Learn as much as you possibly can.

Study about and begin stockpiling medications.

Food

There are many more articles to be written and read on this subject alone.

Start developing a small reserve of foods that you eat on a regular basis that have a long shelf life. Start with a week; go to a month, then three months, then a year, then longer.

Begin thinking now about storage. A year’s supply of food for your family will take up a considerable amount of space.

Expand on the amount of items you have from tier three. Increase the number of traps and snares you have.

Think about obtaining a variety of seeds to plant in your garden.

Again, there is a vast amount of information to be found on this subject alone. The main thing I want you to understand is this is doable, on any income. Start small and work your way up to larger quantities.

Do not get yourself into a financial burden by going out and buying a year’s supply of food at one time.

Light

Begin obtaining lanterns, fuel, mantles, etc.

Begin thinking about candles and candle making.

If you are so inclined, begin thinking about solar panels for your home or shelter location.

Shelter

Begin making those small repairs to your home. Things that may be fairly quickly and easily fixed now may not be so easily fixed later. I’m not talking kitchen remodeling; I’m talking leaky faucets, broken windows, drafty doors, etc.

Think about having a metal roof installed if you don’t have one already.

This is the time to think about a secondary survival location. A remote, rural location. Think of this as an investment. It could be used now as a vacation spot. Use it later as a retirement home.

Water

Begin storing water. Think not only about drinking, but also cooking and cleaning.

Again, start small. Begin with a few days worth; then weeks and months.

Start thinking about long-term procurement and storage. Gutters that empty into water storage, etc. Think also about purification on a large scale.

Miscellaneous Things to Thing About

Sit down and make a list of normal, everyday things that you do around your house, cleaning, washing, “personal” business, entertainment, etc.

[pokemoncreepypasta]

HM Slave

[STORY SOURCE]

The Generation I games. Definitely not perfect games by any means, but they were fun to play.

It's a shame my old cartridge’s battery has been long since dead. Makes sense, it was a hand-me-down from an older sibling of mine. Between both of our times playing it, it was bound to die sometime.

I was feeling nostalgic and wanted to play it again after so many years...

The trouble was, I had no intention of learning how to replace the battery, or buying a new cartridge. None of that appealed to me.

So, I just took it upon myself to play it without saving. Any time I wanted to stop, I’d just plug it into my charger, and leave it be.

Everything about this run was just for nostalgia. It was nothing personal to me, so I didn't name Red after myself or something.

I wanted to play through this game without getting attached to anything.

The best way to go through without caring? A starter-only run. I chose Charmander, since it was the cover ‘mon, and also my favorite of the three. Not necessarily because it would make the game easier in the long run.

Of course, there’s no way I’d be able to get through with just Charmander.

My plan was to catch a Pokémon specifically to use as an HM slave, so my Charizard wouldn’t be clogged up by useless moves in the long run.

And what better HM slave than the one who can learn them all, right?

In Generation I, you can’t delete moves in any way, so an HM slave was absolutely necessary.

Not like I hated Mew or anything... I just never performed the Mew glitch as a kid and thought that this would be a fun opportunity to try it.

The darned thing did everything within its power to not get caught, blowing through every single one of my PokéBalls that I’d prepared to catch it with. Hey, it wasn’t like I was going to need them later, so I didn’t complain.

I decided to nickname the little thing. I’d heard the term “HM mule” thrown around in place of HM slave, so I thought it would be funny.

Of course, picking the Fire type had its rocky start, with its disadvantage against the first two gym leaders.

I managed to scrape by with scummy tactics, though.

I’d switched to my Abra that I’d caught to perform the Mew glitch, and let Misty knock it out.

After that, I switched to Mewl for the free turn, and then healed my Charmeleon. Then, after Mewl fainted, I got a free switch into Charmeleon.

When the battle was over, I could proudly claim the Cascade Badge.

This was Mewl’s secondary purpose, to be switch fodder for me to heal my starter.

Things were going fine until Mewl learned Cut.

The first instance where Mewl’s “skills” would come into play.

This was a game where you couldn’t use HMs from the overworld, so I went to the menu to manually select it.

“MEWL ignored orders...”

Now, imagine my surprise when my slave wouldn’t listen to orders. I tried a few more times, with the same result.

I attempted to rationalize it, picking my brain for a reason. I assumed that you could not use HM moves while a Pokémon was fainted, but something about that didn’t seem right.

I healed at the Pokémon Center to be safe though.

That seemed to work, so I assumed that I was right and continued to Surge.

Nothing really unusual happened during the fight, but Mewl was knocked out again for a free heal.

On my way out, I had to cut down the tree blocking Surge’s gym again. I was worried for a moment that I had gotten myself stuck, but Mewl cut it down just fine.

I figured the game would let me use HM moves if I would be trapped otherwise.

I went back to the center to heal up my starter, and my stubborn little mule.

(And Abra too, I guess.)

I caught and released a few throwaway Pokémon to obtain Flash, which I immediately taught to Mewl.

I made my way to Rock Tunnel.

”MEWL won’t obey!”

I was frustratingly met with this. It was fully healed, I couldn't understand why it was disobeying. I wondered if it was some sort of consequence from having an illegitimate Mew...

I kept trying and trying, but no matter what, it wouldn’t light the cave.

I was sure this little bugger didn’t want to wander around in the dark just as much as me, so I really couldn’t figure out what was wrong.

I tried checking its summary, to which its blank, neutral expression had changed to something more... defiant?

I didn't know what kind of sick joke Morimoto was pulling on me by programming Mew to be this way, but I wasn’t having any of it.

It dawned on me that Abra could also learn Flash, so I just let Mewl be prissy and lit up the cave with Abra.

I somewhat regretted my choice to teach Mewl Flash. If I had known it was going to act like this, I would have just taught it Fly instead…

I decided to go ahead and skip getting Fly, since Charizard couldn't learn it anyway.

Thankfully, I made it out of Rock Tunnel just fine.

Charizard made Erika’s gym a total joke, so I didn’t even need Mewl as fodder for this fight.

The whole game was going fine so far up to Fuchsia City, and I had completely forgotten about Mewl’s disobedience by now.

I had obtained its final two moves, so I booted the HMs up and slapped them onto it.

Of course, to use Surf and progress, I had to face off against Koga.

Things were going well up until Charizard couldn’t deal with Koga’s last Pokémon.

I sent in Mewl to heal my Charizard.

”Enemy WEEZING used SLUDGE!”

“MEWL ENDURED the hit!”

Strangely, when Weezing attacked Mewl, it didn’t get knocked out in one hit like it was meant to. Instead, it stayed in the field.

While I wanted to question it at the time, I just used a Hyper Potion on my Charizard to get it back to full.

”Enemy WEEZING used SMOG!” 

“MEWL ENDURED the hit!”

 Sure enough, I wasn’t dreaming. Mewl was somehow surviving all of Koga’s attacks. Normally that would be pretty cool, except for the fact that Mewl was level 7 and therefore effectively worthless in this fight.

I had to wait for it to faint to switch to Charizard, but Mewl kept surviving every hit that was thrown at it.

”Enemy WEEZING used TOXIC!”

“MEWL”s hurt by poison!”

“MEWL fainted!”

Thankfully, it eventually became poisoned and went down, so I could send in Charizard to finish the job.

I made quick work of Koga and his Weezing after that and made my way out of the Gym.

But weirdly, as I was leaving, I couldn’t help but notice the screen flashing as if a Pokémon in my party was still poisoned.

I checked my party again to see what was up.

It seemed like Mew had a custom sprite for being knocked out that I never noticed before. I didn't even know if that was a thing.

But it was definitely knocked out, for sure, so I brushed it off as some sort of bug.

I figured if anything would fix the poison glitch, it’d be healing at the Pokémon Center.

”If you drive your POKéMON too hard, they’ll dislike you.”  

”Please take better care of your POKéMON.” 

 I was confused at this text. Was this dialogue hidden for players like me who let their Pokémon faint over and over? Whatever it is, I have never seen it before.

”We hope to see you again!” 

The nurse went back to her chipper disposition afterwards though, so I figured I should just be on my merry way as well.

I checked up on Mewl to see how it was doing now.

It seemed like the nurse just haphazardly patched it up. Mewl’s expression still looked tense, but I hoped that didn’t mean it wouldn’t use its new HM moves.

I made a quick note to take down Giovanni at Silph Co. and Sabrina. My Charizard was actually getting a bit over-leveled, so I swept through without needing to use Mewl to heal during battles at all.

I decided that on my way to Blaine, I would fall back on my training a bit.

I back-tracked over to Fuchsia City since it was faster than going all the way back to Pallet Town.

I made my way down by the Fuchsia coast and hoped quietly that Mewl would let me Surf to Cinnabar.

Thankfully it seemed like the 1’4 cat was perfectly fine with me riding on its back, with no defiance at all. I felt confident, like I was finally getting enough gym badges to make it obey.

I'd even gotten it to listen when I needed it to use Strength in the Seafoam Islands. Things were really looking up.

I’d finally hit land and was ready to storm the Cinnabar Mansion and claim Blaine’s badge.

I was feeling pretty confident with my Charizard’s HP and level that I wanted to take on the Gym without healing at the Pokémon Center.

I had plenty of Potions and Revives in case of emergency, anyway.

All of the quiz questions were normal, except... This bizarre one. 

“You treat all your POKéMON fairly?”

Though it had been several years since I played this game, something felt off about it, like it wasn’t supposed to be there.

I half-heartedly answered yes, despite knowing it was untrue. My logic was, at the very least, that even though I as a player didn’t care about these Pokémon, maybe Red did.

”Sorry! Bad call!”

The buzzer went off and I was harassed by a trainer. I was appalled... Was the game really criticizing me as a player?

Had I hit some sort of secret flag after making Mewl faint so much? I couldn't understand what was happening.

I didn’t give myself much time to think about it though, so I healed up my Charizard with some Potions and took on Blaine.

Charizard had fainted again, so I left it up to Mewl.

I healed up my Charizard and expected Mewl to hang on like before, but it just went down with no resistance.

With my seventh gym badge in hand, I was pretty happy with my run so far. A couple more hours in and I’d be done, I thought.

I was ready to Surf north towards Pallet Town and claim my eighth and final badge.

“MEWL ignored orders!”

But I received a friendly reminder.

I had forgotten that Mewl didn’t like using HMs without being healed. I really didn’t feel like taking it to the Pokémon Center though, so I just carelessly threw a Revive at it.

Hoping that the Revive would be good enough to satisfy it and let me ride on it again, I mashed through text a few times to see if I could brute-force it to listen.

”MEWL won’t obey!”

”MEWL turned away!”

It kept bombarding me with the same defiant messages over and over, until...

“MEWL hates you.”

I was caught off-guard. This text didn’t have the same energy as the others, lacking an exclamation point. It sounded like flat, cold, genuine hatred.

I pressed A again, and attempted to order another Surf. Not necessarily because I wanted it to Surf now, but more out of a morbid fascination with such intense text.

“MEWL used instead, FLASH!”

Suddenly, like in a battle, the screen lit up totally white.

I was booted out of the party screen afterwards, and immediately noticed a distinct lack of an items menu. Had Mewl taken it from me?

Closing out of the menu, I spoke to the Pokémon now standing next to me, knowing exactly who it was supposed to be.

”Mew!”

Mew’s cry played. I already knew it.

“MEWL hacked away with CUT!”

I flinched, horrified at the thought of Mewl directly attacking my trainer.

”HM01 was destroyed!”

But then I realized, it wasn't that...

”HM03 was destroyed!” 

 Instead, Mewl had stolen my items...

”HM04 was destroyed!” 

 … And was proceeding to destroy each of my HMs, one by one.

”HM05 was destroyed!” 

 After destroying HM05, Mewl’s sprite disappeared; presumably back into its PokéBall.

I was exasperated, but quick on my wits.

I still had Fuchsia City's Pokémon Center as my last saved location, meaning I could use Abra to Teleport back to the mainland.

I was smug, thinking I'd found a loophole around Mewl's attempts to sabotage me.

”ABRA used TELEPORT!”

“ABRA ran away!”

I panicked, to say the least. I frantically scrolled around my party page. How could Abra have disappeared like that? I wasn't going to accept Mewl being my only ride back to Pallet, it was impossible.

I desperately went to the PC inside the Pokémon Center, in some vain hope that maybe Abra had just been sent there somehow.

”MEWL used STRENGTH.”

“The PC was destroyed!”

I couldn't believe it.

Mewl had gone full rogue.

I suddenly had to come to grips with the horrifying realization...

I was trapped in Cinnabar with no way off.

I went through what I can only describe as the five stages of grief.

Stage 1 - Denial

I scoured the internet for any other Pokémon in Cinnabar Mansion that I could use to escape the island.

I quickly remembered that Mewl had already destroyed my HMs and stolen my items, and realized I couldn’t catch anything.

But I did have one more plan.

If I could knock out Charizard and Mewl, I could be sent back to Fuchsia. It would take a bit of work for Charizard to eventually faint, but I was prepared to try anything.

”CHARIZARD ran away!”

But I couldn’t be prepared for my Charizard running away.

I was so shocked that I didn’t even want to send in Mewl, I just said no and fled the battle.

I fell into absolute despair. Mewl had not only ruined my chance of getting off the island, but now, even if I did, what would I do without the only Pokémon I’d been raising?

Stage 2 - Anger

I’d never thought malicious thoughts about this Mew before, just casual indifference and sometimes mild frustration. But I can’t say that I didn’t want some payback towards this Mew for wasting several perfectly good hours of my life.

I sadistically thought about how I would make it faint, and then how I would torture it over, and over, making it repeatedly faint until maybe it would measure up to Charizard’s strength.

“MEWL ENDURED the hit!” 

I couldn't stop myself from shouting "NO."

Despite Mewl’s apparent injuries, it hung on with one HP.

Again, and again, no matter what I did. No matter what Pokémon I faced.

It seemed like nothing could poison it, burn it, kill it.

Then, it dawned on me…

Maybe this was what Mewl wanted all along?

Stage 3 - Bargaining

Mewl’s stubbornness and special ability that made it unable to faint...

It took Mewl a long time to faint its first real opponent, due to its low level, but in the end, it grew.

I checked Mewl’s summary for some sort of sign, anything at all, that this was what I was supposed to be doing. It stared at me with its vacant, unreadable expression...

Perhaps it was shocked I had battled with it? Whatever the case, it wasn’t staring at me with hostility anymore...

So it was silently agreed between us, then. Mewl and I, we did our first ever grinding session.

It took a few hours, but Mewl’s level was growing steadily. Things seemed to be going well, until...

We ran into our first wild Ditto.

I thought it was strange, having not found a Ditto for all this time I'd spent in Cinnabar Mansion, but I didn’t see any trouble with fighting it, so I just let the battle progress.

Stage 4 - Depression

The Ditto transformed into Mewl, who appeared to have a sad expression on its face.

I quickly pulled out of the battle screen and into my party to see if something had changed with Mewl.

I checked to see Mewl, who had that same sad expression as the Ditto. Its status had changed from "OK" to a worrying "...".

I knew something was wrong, so I fled from that battle and every battle afterwards.

Though I had avoided it before on hopes of somehow escaping to Fuchsia City, I gave it all up to heal Mewl, who had risked life and limb to impress me.

After it was healed, I checked its summary again.

Though it had fully healed, it still had that depressed look in its eyes. I couldn’t understand want it wanted. I didn’t know what it needed.

But I realized that it was getting pretty late, and I wanted to get to sleep soon. I would have to leave the game on, and leave Mewl behind.

That was when it hit me.

Could it be possible that Mewl knew I hadn’t saved? Did Mewl somehow understand that no matter if I saved or didn’t save, it would disappear when I turned the game off?

I hadn’t really thought about it until now, but Mewl was more special than any other Pokémon I’d ever played with.

And if I turned the game off, it would disappear forever.

I didn’t know how to feel about that.

I went out of the Pokémon Center to reflect about this with Mewl.

I still wanted to finish the adventure with it, if it would let me.

Stage 5 - Acceptance

“MEWL doesn’t want to go.”

That was okay, I thought.

I realized that even if I went with Mewl to the Pokémon League, and won, then the game would return to the title screen and not save my progress.

Maybe Mewl understood that, too.

So then we were at an impasse, together on Cinnabar Island.

I didn’t know what to do. Even if this Mew was special, even if I genuinely believed it was real, I couldn’t just keep my GameBoy on forever. What would anyone else think?

I decided that for the first time in this entire run, I wanted to save my game. I didn't want to turn it off just yet, but at least save, as some sort of precautionary measure.

I hoped, that in the event the GameBoy turned off for whatever reason, a miracle would occur.

”Would you like to SAVE your MEW?”

It seemed that the game knew exactly what my heart wanted, and I selected yes.

Then, all of a sudden, my game turned off. Not due to low battery or anything, but it just turned off.

I panicked for a moment, and quickly switched the game back on.

It was gone. The save file was gone.

Or, rather, it was never there to begin with.