#(i never developed healthy study habits and this has worked out so far)

[dont-look-me-in-the-eye]

my very old, very shitty, brand new, 4-step plan to getting good grades in math!

do a fuckton of extra cred at the beginning and middle of the year so that your average is 100% or up

burn out in the end of last semester. (this is fine, because you have a 100%+ average. it's the last semester, so you are allowed to skip some homework and get a 70-80 on one test.)

3. ???

4. profit

[an-angel-in-the-garden]

Dating the Obey Me! boys

So I had surgery yesterday and have to be stuck in my room not doing much for a bit so I plan to try and write lots of things and I thought why not start with Obey Me. Hope you enjoy, these are also kinda short since it was so many people! CW: Spoilers and slightly dark

Lucifer

Dating Lucifer is a bit of a struggle at the start

He's headstrong and cruel even to those he care's about so it can be hard to get into a relationship with him

Once that bond is formed however its a different story though he is still blunt and a bit harsh he's more open

He enjoys classic dates candle lit dinners walks under the moon or swaying in his office with his records on

Lucifer adores when you visit him in his office just to spend time with him while he works

Not much PDA but not fully against it will wrap an arm around your waist and might kiss your head if he's feeling really soft that day

Supportive even if he's harsh he wants the best for you in his eyes you deserver the world and then some

Mammon

Mammon is very open about his feelings

Not good with PDA gets very embarrassed but loves it all the same

Will spend money on you without really thinking about it he wants to you everything and in his eyes money is everything

He gets you involved with many schemes but also does everything in his power to not let you get hurt

If any of his siblings are having a bad day and it gets taken out on you he steps in and will swing if needed

Speaking of siblings they dont treat him that well and though he tends to put on a front you kindness to him means so much he can and will cry

Soft just wants you happy your smile makes him feel special and truly loved so he wants you to feel the same

Leviathan

This is a roller coaster that's for sure

Leviathan is a tsundere on the surface but once in a relationship he's a bit more yandere then one might think

With that Levi is very tameable quelling any jealousy of another he might have is simple just give him affection

He can not handle PDA he blushes freaks out and might even faint if people are around

Indoor dates in his aquarium room and also gaming together or watching anime

Though he's not one to enjoy the outdoors if you want to go on a public date all you need to do is ask

Parise for him is heavenly you telling him he's done well or that he makes you happy means he world to him

Satan

Getting into a relationship with Satan is a friends to lovers kinda story he need so much trust to know he can be truly honest with you

Its very give and take he wants this to have the same importance on both side

Café dates often to a cat café and if you allergic dont worry he has a spell for that

Will show off your relationship to everyone

Enjoy soft PDA i.e. hand holding an arm around the waist forehead kisses etc.

Really loves talking with you about books whether about a book you both have read or simply you listening as he goes on about one he likes, Satan also loves hearing you talks about your interest

Hell protect you with his life you're someone who let him feel more then just anger someone who loves him for himself and its all he really wanted

Asmodeus

Dating Asmodesu is not easy and there's a chance it will never be a healthy relationship

He's flirts alot and that's something you have to get use to but Asmo try's very hard to never take it to far once your together

Love PDA will always want to be all over you and hopes you feel the same

Shopping dates are a must in his eyes and of you ever feel self conscious he does his best to help

Talks about you non stop to anyone and everyone he's happy your in his life but in the end his sin makes it quite hard to ever be in a fully committed relationship

Spoils you so much, wants you to live in luxury like him after all someone as perfect as you deserves it

The genuine affection and love is something new to him its something he never thought he would have so when you entered his life he felt you could only ever make things brighter and he plans to always be there for you

Beelzebub

This is a relationship that develops without much thought

It becomes a habit for Beel to share his food with you or to seek you out just to be with you for a while

At some point its pointed out how you both act and Beelzebub confesses

Dates are common and its often food date going to new and old places he thinks you would like

Not great at planning things but if you have something you want to do or talk about he's all in

Very soft with you though its not often that hell innate PDA or anything he's always up to reciprocate it

A gentle giant who wants you safe and happy even if it means sharing his snacks

Belphegor

This is a full slow burn with his hatred of humans and his lack of trust its not an easy ride

Being with him takes a while starting as just people to friends to maybe more to lovers its a drawn out thing

No PDA he just doesn't handle it well however at the house or alone he's very affectionate

You all go on dates rarely as he's not one for going out and would rather spend quite time with you at home

One of his favorite things to do with you is laze around while you talk about your day or things you've been into lately

Will always make sure you have a good nights sleep if your someone prone to bad dreams he can help with that

Though the relationship with him starts a little rocky he treasures you more then he might admit and he happy you gave him a chance

Diavolo

Another friends to lovers and a little forbidden on top of that but you two make it work

It starts as just him being overly interested in the human world and not so slowly he starts to take interest in just you

Diavolo spoils you when he can you've given him so much and he wants to give back

Loves PDA but knows that he has to reel it in due to him tittle so he settles for just holding your hand

Is a very soft demon for you wanting to make you're as comfortable as you can be

Really enjoys when you visit him even if it just you popping in to say hi it just brightens his day

Being in a relationship wit Diavolo isn't easy it takes alot to keep up with everything but he's never been happier then with you by his side

Barbatos (I love him so much so his is slightly longer)

A slow burn and secret relationship full of its ups and downs yet its something he wouldn't trade for anything

The start of the relationship is slow and honestly it doesn't even seem like your dating he's still closed off only being polite when you two are together

It takes him far longer then you would think for him to realize how much that hurts you he hasn't been wit someone for so long if ever he's not use to it

Once you break that barrier things are smoother he's willing to be open with you alone giving you affection when you ask and even sometimes acting with out you saying anything

Barbatos thinks about you alot when he's working always wanting to know what your up to and how your feeling

Wont want to tell anyone he takes his work very seriously and doesn't want that to ever be at risk but on top of that he knows some people dont like him and if they know about you well he doesn't want to think about that

Refuses to look into your future he knows he wont be able to handle what hell see

It a relationship that takes time and sometime it seems like it might slip away but he's always there and he strives to be with you and make you happy just please give him all your love too

Simeon

A story tale romance most the time but one that almost seems impossible to keep

He's the perfect gentlemen sweet moonlight date or strolls through a garden, holding the door open or offering you his coat

With that it might seem like you never see the real him just the person/angle that he wants you to see someone perfect

Once you two have been together a few months hell start to really open up letting you see his more mischievous side and even talking about the pain from when the others fell

Simeon will always be there for you and when your down he wants to be someone you can lean on

The two of you in the in his room the soft lighting thanks to the fire with the only sounds in the room being the scribble of pen on paper and quite breathing making the night feel like endless bliss

He knows this relationship is dangerous if he's not careful he could fall but when you look at him eyes shinning with nothing but love he thinks maybe that wouldn't be so bad

Solomon

An almost tragic love story that much to his glee ends in happiness

He's met you in many lifetimes yet you were never his bit this time this wonderful time you choose him

The most romantic dates with Solomon anything you want he can probably get

Tried to cook for you it didn't go well but man he tried

Helps you study and will partake in your hobbies if you want

Is ok with PDA prefers the simple stuff over anything major

Is such a lovely relationship one he's spent so long waiting for and he's wont let it slip away now

[awed-frog]

I see a lot of weird ideas and bad takes on tumblr every day, but something I’m really worried about is this concept health doesn’t matter and your body is a foreign object that has little or no relation to what you ‘really’ are. 

Now - I just had a very serious health scare so let me be the mom friend for a second here: that concept is not only bullshit - it’s dangerous bullshit. I don’t know where the idea came from, and tbh I blame the putrid bog of Christian sects and post-Christianity lots of Americans have been steeped in for almost three centuries now, but the depressing truth is that, as far as we know, there is no soul. We’re pretty sure that we’re not ‘stuff’ trapped in a body. We are a body. The more studies we do, the more it emerges that even a lot of what we consider ‘mental health’ is actually physical health, because hormonal imbalances, lack of nutrients, lack of sunlight, bad digestion and a thousand other things have a direct and tangible effect on your mood, your decision-making, and in fact your entire personality. 

All of this to say: you need to look after yourself properly, and that means looking after your body properly, and you need to start today. 

One thing I’m learning about growing up and growing old is that it never gets easier. It only gets harder. There will never be a magical moment in your life when you’ll suddenly have the time, the energy and the will to exercise and cook kale. It will not happen. So I don’t know who needs to hear this, but you need to commit to taking care of yourself the exact same way you commit to any ‘real’ engagement. Don’t just say, ‘This week I’ll exercise’. Find a moment in your calendar and take it seriously. As I said, there is a very toxic tumblr culture surrounding this issue, and we’re basically back to believing our body is this temporary meat prison we can ignore, mistreat and mutilate in our quest towards our ‘true self’, but that’s not how it works at all. We are our bodies, health is a real & definable concept and good health is better than bad health. Pretending otherwise is dangerous and, to be perfectly honest, selfish af. We stay alive and well for ourselves, but also for each other. So look for the red flags, and please unfollow, block and blacklist your way out of this echo chamber. 

I did a lot of reading and researching over the past few years, and it seems the vast majority of modern studies agree on the same two or three things. I’m sure it’s not news to anyone, but I’m sharing them anyway.

Don’t eat too much, and choose mostly natural, plant-based foods.

(Btw ‘There are no bad foods’ + ‘Everything in moderation!’ are lies corporations have been pushing for decades and some people are happily spreading for their own purposes. There absolutely are bad foods, you know exactly which foods are bad and you need to stay the hell away from them.)

Don’t eat too frequently: give your digestive system long hours to rest and your body time to do some deep-cleaning and rid itself of bad cells. Intermittent fasting is very nearly a miracle tool for good health.

Obviously stay away from sugar, alcohol, tobacco and drugs (and that includes cannabis, unless actually prescribed against pain).

Find a healthy way to cope with stress. This is perhaps the most difficult thing you’ll have to do in your life, but if you can develop good habits, or rewire your brain towards good habits, it will make a world of difference.

(Also no, emotional eating is not okay and not healthy.)

Sleep enough - eight hours if you can, two of them before midnight. Also ‘No screens before bed’ is a great rule.

Meditate in some way. It does’t have to be ‘proper’ meditation - the idea is to ‘turn off’ the brain regularly. Some people do this by praying, others by cleaning or knitting or walking in nature. If you’re new to the concept, you can start with a simple breathing exercise, five to ten minutes a day.

Exercise. I know this can be annoying af, but you can grow to enjoy it, and virtually every study out there will tell you 150 minutes of high cardiac activity every week will help you to stay fit, live longer, and avoid major diseases.

(Don’t forget weight lifting! Especially as you get older, lifting weights will help you preserve muscle mass.)

(Also walking. We’re wandering apes and we evolved to walk. Walking, especially outside and near trees or water, is also linked to happiness, mental clarity and creativity.)

Keep your brain young by learning new things. It can be a foreign language or a new craft, or you can simply read books, do crosswords and puzzles, and practice looking at the world with naked and child-like curiosity. 

Cultivate deep and loving real world relationships with people.

Let go of negative feelings.

Finally, be as consistent as you can: a lot of our fitness, brain plasticity and gut health can be lost in a surprisingly short amount of time if you don’t work on it.

I know this all seems like a lot, and there are days it’s difficult to even get out of bed, but again - I’m begging you to take this seriously and make your health a priority, right now. Too many people, myself included, only start caring when something goes wrong. Sometimes it’s too late to fix it, and even when it isn’t, it’s really, really hard to claw your way back to good health. Don’t wait until next week, next month, the end of your studies, or whatever else. 

Change your life now. 

Choose yourself now. 

This is it. I’m sorry if I sound preachy or patronizing, it’s not my intention at all. I spent the last two weeks half-convinced I was going to die, and it’s a feeling I don’t wish on anyone. Please - don’t make the same mistakes I did and put yourself first right now. Don’t leave it for later. I’m trying to course-correct myself, and one thing I’m doing is a digital detox. I’m tired of the online world, of how much time it sucks out of my life and how often it succeeds in its purpose - to keep me clicking and scrolling, to make me upset, angry, outraged. I’m giving it up for a while, and I suggest you do the same. Go back to books, to poems, to music, to dancing yourself silly and collecting feathers and rocks and knitting a scarf you can give to someone you love. Take some time to breathe. 

Much love to everyone and happy journey until we meet again.

[kookiepredictions]

Jungkook Energy Reading

Jungkook is at a major crossroad of his life. Here, he has a choice to make between 2 roads that will potentially lead him to 2 completely different lives. The choices are to either stay the course that he has been following until now, or to level up to a new, challenging but highly rewarding stage. This is a very fun and interesting topic to discuss so I will take my time with this.

To give you a context, Jungkook is a very highly intuitive person since, like, forever. Ever wondered why (or how) out of... (was it 7?)... so many company offers he chose to be with a small company for a reason that might seem like a whim? Ever wondered why his social media posts gain so much traction? Why he trends so often? If you’ve felt like Jungkook is one of those people who just “gets it” that’s because of his natural intuitive abilities. At the cost of being hated on, I’ll say this: he’s not the best singer in the world. Yet, he makes magic with his voice every time. He is an average dancer. Yet, he commands the stage and holds attention like nobody’s business. That’s because Jungkook has always worked with energy without knowing that he did. That’s why a lot of his achievements seem almost effortless. Yes, he works really hard for everything, but so do a lot of other people. Jungkook has this innate quality of (almost) always making the right choices, being at the right place at the right time that, combined with his ability to work hard, creates these massive outcomes. He’s a super powerful clairsentient and although I’m not sure if he consciously he uses his gifts, subconsciously it has often rewarded him, and so far he hasn’t had to really think about it too much, because it’s a naturally-occurring habit for him. But now he has reached a threshold where he has to contemplate things. Needless to say, it’s outside his comfort zone and is making him VERY stressed. He’s at a juncture where he feels this strong pull towards a direction but is afraid to go there because it’s out of his comfort zone and as is the case with that, he is plagued with doubts, confusion, opposing logics, etc— all of which is keeping him stuck and stagnant like a deer caught in headlights.

What is the problem with staying in his comfort zone, you might ask, I mean it has worked for him so far. Generally speaking, there’s no problem. There is never a problem in this world nor is there any good or bad. It all depends on how we see things. That’s why one person’s curse turns out to be another’s blessing, and one’s trash another’s treasure. The problem here is that, Jungkook has done the unthinkable— he has started to have dreams and desires (lol sorry not sorry I like to be dramatic). For a while (maybe a year or so?) Jungkook has been in this place (mentally and emotionally) where he has been rethinking and reinventing his goals, plans etc for his future. He has lived quite a while with a certain idea of how his life is going to go and worked with that vision. But it was getting tiring and draining in a way he didn’t quite understand why, followed by something impactful that happened in his life— has made him question everything. He has been proverbially studying himself in the mirror and rediscovering his true self. This is literally changing everything about his life. His wants are changing, the things that make him happy (or sad) are changing, and he has been think A LOT about how he wants his life to look like from here on. He’s trying to manifest a life that he thinks will not just give him the usual, practical material comforts of life, but also make him happy and fulfilled from a soul-deep space. And as is the case with manifestations, the first thing you gotta do is make sure your mindset is aligned with what you’re desiring. This is where Jungkook is at right now. He knows what he wants, he is willing to put in the work that it takes, and has also been making plans and taking action... but wait a second. Just when he thought that it is time for him to reap the rewards of his actions, things seem to be going south for him. He is facing problems and obstacles in nearly all areas of his life, and this has him utterly confused because he thinks he has done everything right and yet, why is he not seeing results materialize yet? He’s growing tired of this journey and it’s even more confusing because on the one hand, he still feels like he has hope and that there’s a high possibility that things will go his way, yet on the other hand, what IS happening in reality is quite the opposite. He feels like he’s being pulled in 2 opposite directions and both have equally strong reasons to go towards. This is what is known as “the crossroads”.

The reason he is not seeing results is like I said, manifestations are ALL about the mindset. Point blank period. If you hold a pendulum suspending by the string, and just THINK about moving it without moving your hand at all, it starts moving. This is how pendulum readings work. This is a small yet telling exercise to show how our mindset literally controls all our actions. So without the right mindset, actions mean nothing because those actions are coming from a mindset that is not aligned with what you want to manifest. This is what is happening with Jungkook. He is making his plans and taking action, like he has been trying to have a healthy routine, eat clean, exercise, practice his skills, etc but he is doing all of this from an outdated mindset. It’s like building a house of cards over a slanted surface. No matter how carefully you stack the cards, they come crashing down because the foundation is not right. His plans are great, his efforts are sincere, but are based on a very limited mindset. He thinks, well I’ll do this and this and then I’ll do that and that and then... but something goes wrong, some plans backfire, some work related problems come up, financial setbacks happen, and he is back to square one again. Then he feels unmotivated and goes into depressive episodes and eventually picks himself up and tries again but the whole thing happens again. He is now tired and feels he has no fights left and also feels it’s all useless because the Universe seems to be working against him. But that’s not the case. The Universe is simply telling him that no matter how hard he tries (because that’s kinda Jungkook’s mindset right now: if it didn’t work, try harder and harder next time), nothing will come to fruition if the mindset at the base of it all changes. And the same cycle will continue.

This crossroad is an opportunity for him to level up, not at the action point, but at the mindset point. He has to switch from the “work hard, struggle, chase” mindset to the “attract effortlessly” mindset. Now, this is not something new for Jungkook. Like I said, he is a natural intuitive and has actually attracted most of the things in his life quite effortlessly if you consider the fact that he has achieved more at 23 than most people have in their entire lives. The “struggle” is showing up because it is a crossroad. So no matter how competent, accomplished, or karmically good or bad you consider yourself to be, everyone struggles at some point or the other, when it is time to level up. I mentioned earlier that he is a Clairsentient and his comfort zone is to live his life according to his feelings without giving much thought to them and for a very long time, it’s worked out just fine. But now it is time for him to step into the role of a Claircognizant and to give a voice to his feelings. The Universe has been pushing this role at him for a while now, which has manifested in his life into a lot of overthinking, which is the shadow side of claircognizance. It entails a very active mind so at the beginning stages of honing this skill, you tend to struggle with overthinking and your mind sort of being all over the place. Think of your mind as an out-of-control river which floods everything around, but when you train your mind, and make it follow a course, it becomes life-saving. Because in the raw form, any spiritual gift comes with a lot of sharp ends, Jungkook is resisting this gift. He is stressed from all the overthinking and feels lost and out of control. So he tends to go back to his comfort zone and work from his old mindset and keeps facing obstacles. Now you might think, wow, being a Clairsentient is no joke either, so why bother about being a Claircognizant? Like leave the boy alone jeez. But like I always say, the Universe gives us all free will. There is no forcing him. He has made this choice when he started asking for this new, improved, happier life. This is something he is trying to manifest and to do that, he needs to have the right resources. At this point in his life, even being a Clairsentient (which is still awesome) is a limiting existence for him. Jungkook is an old soul. It might be interesting for you to know that he is the oldest soul in all of BTS and he is an older soul than his parents and brother as well! However, his old soul combined with a young mind and the fact that he is the youngest person in both his family and his BTS family, wreaks havoc within him. He often finds himself in situations where he feels deeply and profoundly but cannot express the depth of his feelings externally. This manifests as a throat chakra blockage even though he has a very strong and developed throat chakra (the reason why he is so expressive when he sings and is very facially expressive when dancing and just generally very expressive when he creates social media content from a fun, good mood space). Like I said, it’s a limit. So far it wasn’t as necessary to address this. But as he ages and his life progresses, he misses this skill set. He thinks it’s about his vocabulary, but it really is just about putting a voice to his inner feelings. He could feel it strongly inside when something is right or wrong, but he can rarely tell you why. He’s a good judge but he’s a terrible lawyer lol. And it’s not even telling or convincing others, it’s about telling yourself— KNOWING what you feel and why. Now, in this whole period of dilemma, he is starting to doubt his old gifts as well. He is starting to doubt his feelings and the ability to tell the right from wrong through his feelings— because that’s what energetic stagnation feels like; it feels like degeneration of everything that is, unless you decide to build something new upon the decaying old.

This jump from Clairsentience to Claircognizance can also be likened to the jump from the 3rd eye chakra to the Crown Chakra. And I don’t mean chakras in the sense that exist and govern various activities in our bodies. I mean it in the sense of the journey of consciousness of the various aspects of our existence, from the Root to the Crown. A renowned spiritual teacher had once said that the journey from the Root to the 3rd Eye Chakra has paths and procedures, but the journey from the 3rd Eye to the Crown Chakra has no path, no process, no formula. It is based on faith and faith alone. It’s a blind jump off the cliff, “knowing” that you are safe. Up until the 3rd Eye, you might be connected, but you are still operating within limits, all of which are of course self-imposed. Jungkook is at this point where he is asked by the Universe to step into his limitlessness. I have discussed in his career reading that he is meant to do some really huge things in his lifetime, which is crazy considering he already has done pretty epic things. The phrase “chosen one” always comes to mind when I talk about Jungkook, but I’d like to clarify this phrase first. We generally tend to see this term as something that sets one apart from others, as if they are special and privileged. But know that the Divine never differentiates. Each and every human has been created exactly the same in terms of capabilities. So it all comes down to free will and personal choice of which path each of us chooses. The thing to know about Jungkook is that he is one of the most sincere people on earth— actually as far as I’ve observed THE most sincere. And before Armys comes for me, yes, all of BTS are sincere. But spiritually speaking, Jungkook is still more sincere not just compared to the rest of the members but the general collective as well. He is, at his core, a very purpose-driven person. He is the least matrix-controlled, for those who know these concepts. He can’t do things just for the sake of it. It’s important for him to have meaning and purpose behind everything he does. Sadly though, he has spent the past few years doing exactly the opposite. He has been stuck in a cycle of activities that don’t bring joy to his soul and this has been sucking the life force out of him and he has been feeling more and more drained and has developed escapist tendencies. But it’s not that he has been externally forced to do these things, at least not always. It’s more so a result of lack of consciousness on his part. He didn’t know he was doing these things. He did what he did believing that he was doing the right thing— earning money, paying bills, securing a materially comfortable life— you know, all of the matrix stuff. But like I said, he does not easily fit into the matrix. While a lot of people spend their entire lifetimes plugged into the matrix, Jungkook is the type to sense discomfort very quickly and want to escape. The reason being, as I said earlier, he is an old soul and has lived many lifetimes developing awareness and his spiritual growth. This is why in this lifetime, he is naturally a lot more evolved than most (or all) of the collective. But since we do not remember our past lives and only carry that “growth” in our DNA, it’s something that is inherent to him without him actually knowing about it— until recently. Jungkook has been undergoing his spiritual awakening, and has been developing consciousness bit by bit— breaking out of the matrix so to speak. It’s this reason that he is “chosen” to do what he is about to do. Not because he has been unfairly selected out of many others, but because he has made this choice for himself and been working sincerely over many lifetimes. For this reason, Jungkook tends to have very pure emotions, and by pure I don’t mean non-sexual (because there’s nothing impure about sexual feelings). By pure I mean raw, unadulterated. He has very heightened sensibilities and feels every emotion to their purest essence, gifting him with high Emotional Intelligence. Unfortunately, this is not always a good thing because uncontrolled, he often tends to overwhelm himself with his mixed bag of feelings and this also causes the aforementioned escapism tendencies. And this is one more reason why he should level up. Regulating and organizing his myriad emotions and giving them a shape, a course will help him channel these gifts into fulfilling his dreams and creating big things in life. There are many things he can do, like journaling, writing down his dreams, goals, plans and procedure on paper, create routines based on his goals, etc but I feel like he is past this stage and is probably stuck in the part where he is doing everything and sometimes he has his wins but these wins are not becoming stable, and he is still getting his tower moments from time to time. This should mean one thing— he has reached the last stage of this journey, which like I said, is the journey to the Crown Chakra— the state of complete faith.

When discussing the concept of complete faith, we often use terms like blind faith, unquestioning faith, etc and while these terms are not exactly wrong per se, they can create misunderstandings. The Divine has blessed us with the ability to think, question and judge, not for nothing. Is it possible to have blind faith? Of course, lots of people do. But it’s also POTENTIALLY harmful to have faith in anything without actually having a knowhow of it. It’s not necessary of course, but for those who reach that level of consciousness, it is not just important, but absolutely essential to know the ins and outs and still have faith. I say it is more difficult to have complete faith with your eyes open than to have blind faith. Claircognizance at its best, is just that. While so far, your gut feeling has served you well and led you this close to the Divine, it is now time to employ your mind to catch up with your gut feeling and make sense of it all. While you learnt to open your eyes to the truth up until now, it is time to learn to keep your eyes open without blinking again and defend and embody the truth with your whole existence. This is literally the riskiest gamble. Like I said, jumping off the cliff. And that’s what Jungkook is being asked to do. So far he has been getting clarity about himself, his life and his path forward and treading cautiously with his small efforts and small wins, it is time for him to take the big leap forward. But the question of course is, how? And to where? While the details of this answer are with Jungkook, it has to start with releasing his limiting mindset. Have you ever noticed that whenever we have limited beliefs about something, either money or love or peace, the underlying belief is always that “I am limited”, “I have limited abilities”, “I have limited resources” etc. Meaning, any limits that we place on our external lives are actually limits that we think WE have. Money exists in this world, but I think I am limited in my potential to earn money. Love exists in this world, but I think I am limited in my potential to find love. You get the point. We actually do not think resources are limited, we think they are limited for us. Sometimes “us” means me as an individual, sometimes it means us as the entire population (cue: global warming, world peace, etc). Jungkook right now, is in the prime position to step out of this limited mindset into his unlimited potential. He has been operating from his limited mindset which is why his plans, no matter how well made, are failing. He has these big, beautiful dreams and has created this beautiful, peaceful life in his mind, but his old mindset is not aligned with this abundant life. The Universe has been nudging him in the direction of the mindset that he needs to adopt to align with his manifestations. I have written earlier somewhere that Jungkook thinks quite poorly of himself as a person and has self worth issues. In reality, he is the most sincere person Mother Earth has right now who has been working so hard for so long to reach this level of consciousness, it is safe to say no one else is as worthy as him to get everything that we wants. But by having these beliefs about himself, he is blocking the rewards that are meant to come to him. It’s like he has paid the price in advance, but is not accepting the delivery. Both because of being BTS’ golden youngest, Korea’s national pride, all the sweeping predictions about his future, and also his inner voice speaking to him, he is almost too aware of the great big things he is supposed to achieve, and although he does want them, a part of him is also scared and wants to run and hide and settle for something far less aka stay put in his comfort zone— all because of his limited mindset where he thinks he is not worthy of such things. And if you think you’re not worthy, obviously you’re going to think that it’s going to be an impossible task, which eventually either makes you take all the wrong actions, or not take action at all. This is why, no matter what his goals and plans, and no matter what actions he thinks of taking, he has to start with his mindset first. In fact, while manifesting, if I can tell you to do just one thing, it is to address the limits in your mindset. We’ve heard this many times and it sounds so simple but it really is the most, if not only, important step that matters. If the mindset is aligned with your goal, all actions will effortlessly flow towards that goal.

I feel like Jungkook has reached a level of self awareness and inner self dialogue where he is able to identify where his thoughts and emotions are going. He has definitely gotten a far better grip on his emotions than when I started this page, and contrary to what he thinks, his growth has been swift. It’s just that, we always expect a linear growth but that doesn’t happen with spirituality. And so every time he has a down time, he feels like he is back to square one. More so because Jungkook has such a perfectionistic and high achiever mentality. The reason why he seems to be going in a loop right now is because he has learnt and achieved everything that he has to with his current “limited” mindset. Hi future goals require him to grow out of that, not because his goals are something huge and difficult to achieve (because literally small and big are subjective both to humans and to the Universe) but because having a limitless mindset simply means to believe that I am worthy of achieving anything and everything I desire— without conditions. This is the mindset that Jungkook needs to work on adopting right now and everything else will smoothly flow from there. He needs to utilize the power of his mind— awareness, reasoning and self dialogue— to identify wherever he limits himself from believing his worthiness to achieve what he wants to have, and continue this practice until this new “I can f***ing have anything that I want” mindset is his default. Does it worry you that Jungkook will become an egotistical prick after that? Don’t worry, his soul has done enough work in the past to be grounded and humble through it all. This mindset is different from the ego-driven power-hungry mindset. Why? Because this power is the Source power. When we settle into our Crown Chakra consciousness aka Divine consciousness, we plug ourselves into the Source’s limitless creative power. The difference between ego-driven power and Source power is that while the former separates the individual from others, Source power recognizes the individual’s power as connected to and drawing from the Cosmos and therefore one we must give back to. It’s this constant cycle of giving and receiving in the Universe that makes Source power limitless, while the ego’s idea of power is one-sided and therefore finite.

Jungkook is kind of stuck in a place where, because he sees himself as limited, he looks to others to guide him, assure him, and provide him with the knowledge and direction that he needs. And that is because he has been disconnected from Source— not literally, but consciousness-wise. So far it wasn’t too bad, but now it is time for him to let go of the need for mediators and plug himself directly to the Source, i.e. work on his Crown Chakra. And as I mentioned earlier, it is as simple as just using your conscious mind to tell yourself, or more accurately, remind yourself, of your worth and your limitlessness. Jungkook feels like he needs someone to guide him, but he has forgotten that he has been prepared for the exact same task that he looks to another to do. Now this has a connection to his Twin Flame journey because his twin is at the same threshold, ready to level up to the same stage. The only slight difference is that she has already made her choice to level up to the new stage of limitless consciousness. And now it is up to Jungkook to make his. Do you what that means? It means a Union is on the horizon! After a long period of back and forth— one of them goes through a stage first then the other follows, and vice versa— they are finally going to be on the same page energetically, if Jungkook makes the choice. This is significant because Jungkook has been thinking that Union was something that was out of his control and he had nothing to do but to sit and wait, but all the while, it was a choice he had to make. Now, of course, this choice is not as simple as saying Yes or No. It’s a choice of consciousness— a consistent way of life that will, over time, upgrade and align their mindsets so they are both at the exact same stage. As twinflames, Jungkook and his DF are like the same person living in 2 different, alternate universes, with completely different lifestyles, work situations and challenges and the way they process these situations and challenges are similar, but not on the same page at the same time. They are soully same, yet because of their mortal forms being born and being raised in different environments, their ego-bodies have retained conditioning that make them different from each other in many ways, but as they shed their ego programming and connect more and more with their soul and with Source, they will be on the exact same page. This is when Union will occur. When they truly become one person in heart and mind. But this stage right now (i.e. before Union) is also the most challenging because this is where Separation truly happens. Physical separation is the least important aspect of the TF separation. This is where they are both on their own. They must individually find their faith aka go back to the Source, because without their connection to the Source, there is no TF connection; it becomes just another earthly connection riddled with alternating bouts of joy and sorrow, peace and pain. Usually in this journey, one twin is a more advanced journeyer than the other, who first “activates” the other i.e. leads them to their consciousness and guides them, usually energetically where when one twin crosses a stage, the other is literally pulled into that stage for them to cross. It’s like only one twin gets to make the choice and the other has no choice but to follow suit. This is also the reason why one twin feels more helpless and out of control. They are literally being yanked around by their twin’s energetic choices lol. But at this juncture, the guide twin has to leave the other twin’s hand, not because they don’t want to hold on, but because they can’t— they have nothing more to offer. This is where both twins get to make their choices individually. This stage is new for both of them and therefore they must individually cross this stage and meet at the other side. This is the period of ultimate spiritual growth, the after effect of which is blissful togetherness. But possible only if both twins make their choice to move forward.

 I’ll end this post with a message from Jungkook’s DF:

 Jeongguk,

I hope you’re holding up okay, partner, cuz I know I’m getting my ass kicked. Did you absolutely hate this journey? Because I didn’t. Just like you, I didn’t know what I signed up for either. I made a simple wish and this road has been bumpy but it has also had the most incredible views along the way. The way I have grown over these recent times compared to my whole entire life is crazy! I love who I have become and who I continue to become. And I believe you had a part to play in this. I know you don’t believe that so much. I know you battle with your own doubts, fears and insecurities, just like I battle with mine. You still measure your importance with how much you do for others. But maybe someday I can tell you how much you have done for me simply my existing as who you are. Because who you are will determine what you will always do, not just once or twice. And you have grown so much too! I have sensed that often. But unless we learn to recognize our growth, we don’t see it. But since I had VIP seating lol I got to watch you grow. Sometimes you resisted, sometimes you fought, sometimes you hoped, sometimes you held on to the faith when I was ready to give up, sometimes you were hurtful and challenged me to find within myself new depths of love and understanding. You made me cry, you made me laugh, you made me angry, you made me blush. But you never left. And I didn’t leave either. We tried though. Both of us. And failed. Repeatedly. It’s been frustrating and funny. How we thought we could get away and the Divine kept guiding us back to each other. You know, I think the problem is that we’re both helplessly curious idiots. Always wanting to know more, always wanting to move ahead. Obstacles never had a chance with us. We were always the introspective types, you and I, always looking to solve our problems, hungry for growth. As they say, careful what you wish for.

I am aware of your expectations of me, always was. But I had to hold back. I couldn’t do anything that I wasn’t fully ready to do. Right or wrong, I had to do as I felt guided to do— it’s my sovereign right. I guess because deep down I knew that you would understand. Of all people, you would understand. And I was right, you did. You threw hands and made a mess often lol but you still did understand and patiently stuck around each time. I know it seems like I’ve been running further and further away from you, but I have actually been getting closer to you. Spiritually. I guess soon it’s going to be visible as well. Now there is this stage. It feels like a strange place to be in right now. Good strange. I know you are scared and doubtful and expect me to assure you that everything will be alright. How can I? I am scared and doubtful too. Every day, I am in these juxtaposed energies of faith and doubt, sorting through them like... one moment I am super believing, another moment I’m all nope can’t do.

I know you want me to say that I love you and that I always will, and to promise that if we take this journey, I will be there waiting for you. And I want to. I really REALLY want to make these promises to you. But in the past I have been in situations where these promises were made and then conveniently forgotten later. I’m trying not to let my past control my present or future but I have also learnt that words can be forgotten, but intentions are forever. And that is what I want to say to you: I have the intention. I intend to make this work. When the time is right, I intend to give this my best shot. Tbh, I feel like I have been giving this my best shot for a while now, but maybe we don’t agree on that lol. And I also want to tell you that I’ve never felt about anyone else what I feel about you and I don’t think anyone else can ever take your place in my life. What that means exactly I don’t know yet.

The reason why I tell you neither what to do nor what not to do is because I don’t want to control your life. I know you me to show some ownership on you, and you on me, but believe me, you’ll hate it there. I’ve been there suffocating and it’s the most beautiful feeling to make your own mistakes, learn your own lessons, and watch yourself become your own artwork masterpiece and I don’t want to take away that experience from you. This is not my apathy. This is my gift to you. Also, yes I’m a pretty generous and just generally amazing person lol but do you really think I write pages after pages for just anyone and for no reason? Put two and two together silly.

You doubt your worth so much and since I do that too, I know how that works and won’t hold that against you, but it seems like now you have no choice but to see your worth. You must know, that I’m leaving you alone only because I’m confident you’ll find your own way. I’ll admit, I haven’t always been confident in you. Maybe I will falter again. But don’t you see, that’s the point? I will never be fully confident in you until you are confident in yourself. The more you doubt, the more I doubt too. But I’ve been observing you for a long time now and it’s just so hard to not trust you. Even with all the doubts and apprehensions constantly attacking me from all directions, I keep going back to you. I really hope my gut feeling about you is right or I’ve just made a big booboo lol. The funny thing is, I don’t care as much now. It’s almost like, fine, if anything, this will go down in my history as a wonderful, fun mistake and I don’t think I will ever regret it because in this moment I’m doing what I want to do— either it leads to a reward or a lesson, both are welcome. I have never been THIS vulnerable in my life like I hear myself say these things and I sound so crazy and stupid lol I’m so not my sassy and smartassy self right now.

As I was saying, I really do believe you’ll find your way. I don’t even know what that way is, or what your problems are, but I know you will solve them all. I’ll just be here, solving mine. How do I know for sure we can solve all problems? Because each one of the 7 billion people can. The only reason they don’t is that they don’t have a strong enough reason to push themselves to do that. Do we have a strong enough reason? How much do our dreams mean to us? For me, I have had this picture painted of this perfect life for a while. And yes, it has you in it. Very prominently. In my mind, it’s this beautifully balanced, harmonious, vibrant relationship with a forever after. And I don’t want to ruin that picture for short term hedonism. So I really believe, if our reason is strong enough, if this means that much to us, no obstacle can limit us from getting what we want. You’re not the only one who goes after what he wants and never gives up. I’m somewhat of that breed too. It’s just that this has clearly been a journey and it has brought some wild surprises along the way. I’ve struggled but now I’m learning to accept anything that comes with it. If the road leads me to my destination I don’t care how bumpy it is. It’s literally up to you right now. And I promise, it’s not even that difficult when you let go of resistance. All you have to do is consistently believe that you have limitless power to achieve anything you want and to create your reality the way you want it. I know it’s been a struggle and it feels like just the opposite, but it’s been that way because believe it or not, YOU have had these limiting beliefs about yourself and what you can create. I also know it’s been a long road and you’re tired, but it’s safe to drop the defences now. You might feel like certain situations or certain people are out of your control and how could you ever have things work your way, but it’s all in the mindset. The moment you reset your mindset and stick with it, you will see your reality change. In any situation, do not focus on the external events— they are simply the results of your previous mindset. Rather, ask yourself, what limiting thoughts and beliefs you have in your mindset right now and proceed to change them. I promise to you, people and situations will change to suit your needs, without ever having to deal with anyone. All this WILL happen, so don’t give up until they do. Twinflame, soulmate, karmic, friends, partners, colleagues— everyone will adjust according to your needs when YOU step into your limitlessness. Remember, it’s not just you who are tied to your karmics, they are tied to you too. An attachment exists from both sides. You don’t have to worry over the other person severing the tie, it’s enough if you let go of your end. Ask yourself, what are the common energies I share with my karmic? Identify these energies, heal the underlying trauma and ascend from them. This automatically ends your karmic contract and your karmic is free from you as well, no matter what their status is. The reason your karmics exist is because deep in your mindset you still believe that that’s your place and that’s what you’re worthy of— it’s part of the comfort zone you’re still stuck in.

I wish you well, my favorite human, I really hope I find you at the end of this journey. I want everything that you want. There are so many shared dreams and goals that we have— I will tell you all about my dreams one day. Until then I need to live some of these on my own, go on a little solo adventure, while I let you go on yours. And when it’s over and we’re ready (and no we’re not ready right now no matter how much you try to convince me lol) I promise I will see you again. When and how, I have no idea, but I’m happy to leave that to however the Divine guides us. I promise I’ll never forget you because I literally can’t. Love you!

[elriell]

Chapter Two—  

[Chapter 1]

In The Absence of Light

Restless sleep continued to plague her the following nights, just as she had feared the cold spikes of anxiety that crippled her mind refused to ease up their battle for control.

Azriel never mentioned their tense early morning encounter, but she could not deny that after his departure she had finally managed to succumb to a few good hours of rest, and for that she was grateful. She put it down to simply feeling calmer after seeing a friend and refused to look any further in to why that would be.  

So, when Elain saw him over breakfast, she offered him a genuine smile and accepted the muffin he silently offered her in return. She tried not to dwell on the fact that he did not in truth look as if he had been blessed with a good sleep, as she had.  

~

Several nights had passed since then and time trickled by slowly, each night she found herself staring up at the ceiling, tossing and turning among the expensive linens, unable to settle down. Vivid dreams swirled around in her head; the same thoughts as always, they appeared to be taking up permanent residency, she was less than pleased with that realization.  

Every noise poked at her subconscious, taunting her mockingly. She let out a sigh at the ridiculousness of her thoughts, as if the branches crashing in the wind could possibly be trying to ridicule her, she truly was losing it alltogether. Taking a deep breath, she gave up on her quest for sleep and slid her feet in the soft pair of slippers and set off for the kitchen, doing her best not to awake anyone on her path, though she doubted she would, everyone in this house seemed to sleep through most her terrors.  

Lost in her own scattered thoughts she barely saw him lent over, in truth he looked as though he too was in his own world. Strong powerful arms flexed over the sink as he gazed out the window in to the gardens below. The dark leathery wings hung limply behind him, he painted quite the sorrowful picture, moonlight casting down upon him.

A fallen angel, infinitely beautiful and untouchable in an heartbreaking way.  

“Trouble sleeping?” His honey voice caught her off guard, she really had to stop being surprised when it came to the shadow-singer, his instincts were sharp as the thorns that she tried to avoid when gardening.  

“Seems to be going around these days.” A soft shrug. “I was just going to make myself something warm, would you join me?”  

He turned towards her at that and it struck her as it always did how easily he concealed his emotions, as if he could carefully tuck them away in a box and forget about them. His eyes however spoke volumes, they were devastating to her mental resolve, a crack splintering straight to her heart.

“I would like that very much.”  Agreeing gently.

Elain willed herself to focus on the task at hand; warming up some milk for the both of them. She felt more than heard him shuffle amongst the kitchen retrieving mugs and placing them to her left, returning to his former place. “Thank you for the other night— No, no, no... Please don't stop me, I want to, no I need to. I haven’t gotten that much sleep-in months, so thank you.”

A small blush crept up his face much to her quiet delight, it was such a rarity to pierce his stoic exterior.

She poured them both a cup each and set out to retrieve some cookies from a jar she had baked earlier in the day, once she had set a sufficient amount on a plate, she joined Azriel at the small breakfast table at the far end of the room.

Though dark out it was a beautiful spot, the whole side of the wall was built from different shades of stained glass and under the moonlight it shone a messy pattern of colors across the cobblestone floor, it had quite easily become one of her favorite places once her nightmares began. A colorful sanctuary to be at ease.

There were so many questions on the tip of her tongue, she wondered so much about him, about his troubles, his travels, about Nesta, who she had not received any letters from since her departure though that was no surprise all things considered. She wished she could tell her she had not known of the plans, wished she could have at least said goodbye, god, she wished for so many things.

Perhaps she would ask Azriel to take her on his next visit to the mountains, she filed that away for another day.  

“I suppose the tonic didn't work then?” He inquired before dunking a cookie in to his mug.

“Ah—” Hesitating for a beat too long. “It's alright you needn't lie to me; your secrets are your own. If you do not wish to say I shall not bring it up again.”  He jumped in before she finished.

Truth. She knew without a doubt he would not push her, would accept whatever she was willing to give.  

“That is quite alright, to be honest with you Azriel, I am not sure I quite know myself.” She considered it carefully. “I think deep down, beneath every excuse, I just, well I just don’t want to be...”

“Medicated.” He finished for her.

It should not surprise her after all this time, he was always able to read her seamlessly and understand her completely even when she wasn’t sure she understood herself. He was able to deduce that she was a Seer when the rest thought she was going mad, even her own mate, scoffing internally at the word. It was a shame, she supposed, that it had nothing to do with Lucien. He was a good enough man but she simply couldn’t handle the burden that such a bond posed after the events of last year.  

“Exactly.”

He was uncharacteristically sheepish when he asked, “It’s not my place, but is something wrong? Lucien?” He stumbled over the last word as if he found it hard to roll off his tongue. Odd. Azriel rarely if ever spoke on the subject of the former spring court emissary, almost seemed to avoid it at all costs.

Upon reflection she could not think of one time through their many conversations that he had ever inquired about him if she had not started the discussion.  

It was eery some days, it was as though he could see inside her soul, study her like a well-read book.

And if she was following that analogy through then she was certainly an old nattered forgotten book that was far too damaged to be of much value... She heard Nesta’s voice as the thought formed scolding her for thinking that any book would not hold its own important value in the world.  

“No.” She replied honestly. “I am not quite sure what is fuelling my problems only that they are rather determined at keeping me from a peaceful sleep. But enough about that, let us talk about better things, happier things, tell me about your favorite places to...”

And so, they would spend several hours hunched over the table talking in hushed tones about everything and nothing at all, refilling their mugs repeatedly as time faded away and all that remained was the moments within, the coloured light streaming over them bathing them in a pool of colours steadily shifting as the sun rose, not that either noticed until household staff awoke to prepare for the day.  

And when she returned to her bedchamber, she would not care on bit that she was still on the brink of exhaustion.

~

They developed quite a habit of it unexpectedly. At one point or another in the night when her sleep or lack there of, became too much to bare, she would wander down to the kitchen where inevitably he would be sat as if waiting for her.

She tried not to be so self-absorbed as to think it was solely because of her. But after the first few times happened and it became a reoccurring pattern, warm milk always lay on the table waiting for her, always warm, almost as if he could sense when she would arrive despite it changing most nights.

It did not help her ever growing endearment to him.

~

Although she knew Azriel would eventually grow bored of this habit they had formed, perhaps conversation would become tiresome to maintain for him but she promised to enjoy his company while it lasted.

He made her happy and the small private moments she would cherish among the bland parts of her day, though it wasn’t particularly healthy for either of them as it meant neither was sleeping much.

But it was a worthy sacrifice, all considered she was not sleeping before therefore she was not losing anything, however she did feel a twinge of guilt for the shadow-singer. Hoped it would not interfere with his day-to-day activities and not put him at greater risk whilst following out orders.  

But alas all good things must come to an end and last night would mark that for them both.

He had been uncharacteristically quiet all night, simply letting her ramble on about the new plans for opening up the back garden to prepare it for new flowers and wildlife, he had simply watched her for hours with a gentle “Mmm” and “Of course” along the way, in hindsight she should have guessed something was coming.

He arose from the bench first keeping his eyes locked to the ground, and fiddling with the lapels of his jacket seemingly trying to buy time, while the silence hung heavy in the air.  

“It seems there has been some problems arising in the northern territories and Rhys has asked that I head out for a few days to ensure it is nothing more serious.” Shifting his feet back and forth still reluctant to make eye contact.

“I see.” She really didn’t. “When are you to leave?”

The grimace was noticeable on his controlled face, “An hour ago. Give or take.”

He did not give her time to respond as he leaned over her, closer than they had been to each other in some time and he smelled like the woods after a rainfall if that could be a smell at all, fresh yet masculine. The kiss he planted on her forehead was so gentle had she not had her eyes open she scarcely would have felt it.  

Her lids fell and her breathing changed, and she wondered if one could feel as if their heart both stopped and raced at the same time, she was losing all sense of reason and by the time she regained her thoughts enough to open her eyes he was gone.  

His absence hit her quickly and she had to take a deep breath to hold back the tear stinging her eye, yet again she was left to her own devices. Perhaps it for the best that she not grow too reliant on his company, though she was infinitely grateful for his friendship and companionship she did not want him to feel burdened by her.  

This would give them some much needed separation and time to rebuild her mental walls and form some boundaries for herself.

~

The first night was not as bad as she expected and she tried to be optimistic that this was a new leaf for her.

Unfortunately, as she well knew nothing lasts for long, especially something good. Not for her. By the fourth night the dark void had returned in full to cause chaos on her mind, and so chaos spread, worsening night after night.  

Elaine’s nightly visits to the kitchen had not ceased they simply became a solitary adventure and as the week reached its end, she was near desperate for the relief of her favorite companion would provide.

Having overheard Mor speaking to Feyre in the lounge she was able to confirm that he had returned to the estate sometime midday, though his meetings with his High Lord kept him out of sight much to her disappointment.

She did her best to tame the growing excitement that bubbled up when she thought about his return.

Tonight, for a change she made no attempts to sleep simply busied herself with brushing out her curls and spraying her favorite perfume, feeling silly for going to such efforts. Truthfully though she knew that beneath whatever crush she had formed it had little to do with her attachment to him, it was his companionship and friendship she coveted most, he was a true and loyal friend, a rare thing to her these days.  

She made a promise to herself not mare it with her growing attraction. She refused to lose another person she cared about.

Which is why when she finally made it down to the kitchen after holding off as long as possible only to be greeted by an empty room, she felt her heart twinge. Feeling silly for simply assuming he would be there, for not even questioning it. Not that she blamed him, the kinder part of her hoped he was getting a descent nights rest again, refusing to think on it for long she made herself warm cocoa and set off for bed.

Unsurprisingly sleep did not come easy to her but at least on this night it was not the terrible evil that plagued her, rather the piercing eyes of her favorite spy.

As the hours ticked on and she grew more restless her body wrenched itself out of bed as if on its own accord, and paced a way across their home, it was as she reached the West Wing she realized where she had unconsciously ended up. It was not hard through process of elimination to work out which was his, no light shone beyond the door and no detectable sound either, though she doubted she would know if he was moving about.  

It was silly to have come all this way and she was well aware of how embarrassing her need to visit him was but as she stood with only a large oak door separating them, she understood exactly why she had come, because in that moment she finally felt calmer than she had all week, the anxiety that weaved its way through her reseeded slowly.  

She figured that it couldn’t hurt to stay for a few moments to calm down a little more before venturing back, it would not hurt anyone what they did not know.  

Unaware of when it happened, she found herself sliding down against the door until her bottom hit the cold cobblestones, it was a rather strange feeling that simply being in proximity to him would bring her such small comforts but so was the case as she felt exhaustion slowly creep over and when it came, she felt safe enough to let it take her, she closed her eyes and drifted away.

~

Pheeeeew, That was long and still a little sad but i promise it is going to get less DEPRESSING™️ I just want to lay the groundwork for what is going to happen 😉 I would love any and all critique as always, it is what fuels me!

Also i was almost finished writing the chapter but the title and colourful glass is inspired by the book I am re-reading with that name.

As always anyone who wants to be added or removed just let me know 🖤

@elriel-oblivion @elriel-incorrect-quotes @tswaney17 @theshadowsinger-and-thefawn @stars-falling @verifiefangirl @b00kworm @sleeping-and-books @julemmaes @thefangirlofhp @empress-ofbloodshed @elrielllll @abraxos-is-toothless @julesherondalex @courtofjurdan @amitynotpity @libraryonthepond @mis-lil-red

[writing-for-me-at-this-point]

Fight w/ S/o | Tenya + Eijiro + Katsuki | Angst, Fluff | HC’s

Request: Omg hi! Can I request angsty break up hc for bnha like they get in a fight for tenya iida, kirishima, and bakugo but can they end in a sweet makeup :) sorry if u don’t wanna do this, I don’t mind.

Word Count: 2030 words

Page Count: 5.6 pages

A/N: here we go! i hope you like it :)

Tags: @centerhabit​

        You didn’t even remember how it started, and as cliche as it sounds, it was true. You never related so much to such an overused statement. Anger from the fight filled your entire body, with a head as light as cotton- you almost felt dizzy, yet your body was buzzing with adrenaline. Filling your veins much like how it does when fighting and training. You needed to focus on what was important- becoming a hero. It was developing healthy habits so you don’t crash in your future, but here you were crying over a boy. But he was your boy, the one you care for- grew to love and still do. 

Tenya Iida

- You both were fighting about something stupid. You couldn’t even remember. 

- You started the night as you usually had done. Tenya sitting upright on the bed, with your legs on his, with you leaning against the wall. You were both studying, catching up on some notes and finishing homework before doing something else for your classes.

- Some cutesy shit ya'know?

- And you asked how his brother was doing, and he answered normally, but one thing lead to another.

- And here you both were, arguing with one another, not really yelling. Just speaking at a louder volume- kinda like Katsuki does.

- “Are you saying I don’t care about you or what you stand for, Tenya”

- “I’m saying you only care about me when were on the same footing.”

- “Same footing?!”

- This wasn’t good. Some of the guys had heard muffled yells and even got a bit worried too, like damn Iida is yelling? At his girl?

- It got so tense and the room just reeked of anger- something that never happened in Tenyas presence. NEVER.

- You stopped yelling, took a deep breath, and looked at Tenya, you knew the tears were in both your eyes.

- This fight was killing both of you.

- He looked so tired, his hair was messy from running his hands through it, the frown he carried held deep lines in his face- his flannel button up shirt you had gotten him was wrinkled from his own hands gripping at it during your argument.

- You probably didn’t look any better.

- “I’m gonna go to my room now…” You started, grabbing your bag as you did. When you turned to the door, you couldn’t look back at him, but you did turn your head.

- “We should probably take a break from each other for a bit.”

- Now, why you gotta shatter his heart like that, [ Y/n ]?

- You both kinda just laid in bed that night, either crying or kinda dead-eyed and staring at the ceiling or your phones. Who knew the contact you pressed on so quickly before felt like the whole world was holding your hand back.

- The weekend rolls by and your trying to save face. You decided to spend the weekend with some friends from middle school, catching up and what not.

- “How’s your boyfriend, [ Y/n ]?" 

- "Honestly? We’re kinda… fighting?”

- BOI WERE THEY RILED

- You ended up explaining what had happened and it made you rethink about what was said.

- “Girl, you fucked up.”

- “Oh my god, I fucked up.”

- You kinda just looked at your lunch for a second before you saw your phone, and a text was waiting just for you.

 Tenya

        Are you okay? I love you.

- Your heart BROKE and MENDED at the same time before DROPPING.

- “I gotta fix this.”

- “I got the bill, go! Take care of that boy before I beat you!”

- You made it back to the dorms LATE.

- You didn’t even realize how long you were out and how far into the city you had been.

- It was 20:13, about an hour before curfew started.

- You settled your stuff into your room and sat on your bed.

- What were you gonna say to him? What would he say? How is he feeling? You feel like a dickhead. This wasn’t about you though, this was about him, god you just wanted him to be happy again.

- Your head was in your hands when the knocking was at your door, you didn’t even realize the door was opening till you heard it close.

- “Hey.”

- “Hello.”

- God his voice, it sounded tired and done with everything. 

- “We need to talk.”

- Go and give the boy a heart attack [ Y/n ]. 

- “Wha- What do you mean? It was just a stupid fight?!”

- You heard his voice change into something more anxious and you tried to settle him down, and you spoke about how you essentially fucked up. 

- He tried taking the blame but no, you knew you had to apologize and that what you did wasn’t right- you had to make it right.

- You both had tears in your eyes as you made up, and it was a long process before you really let yourself off the hook, and Tenya just wanted you to be happy again to.

- You ended up laying down in bed with him, his head on your chest as you ran your hands through his hair, catching up on what has been going on- everything settling into its routine, as it should be.

- When you ended up falling asleep first Tenya looked to you before smiling softly, a quick peck to your lips before covering you both with a blanket and you snuggled into his arms.

Eijiro Kirishima

- “Do we really need to do this now?”

- “Yes! Because you have a habit of evading serious conversations, [ Y/n ]!”

- “Excuse me?”

- You both ended up going off on one another, arguing back and forth in the empty training room, hands waving in the air desperately trying to get both your points across.

- “You need to stop this! Throwing yourself into danger like that won’t help anyone! You’ll end up getting hurt- or worse, killed! Do you think I would want that! That any of us would?”

- “You think I do what I do recklessly? You think I don’t have a back up plan in case something were to happen? Do you think THAT lowly of me?”

- “[ Y/n ], you know that’s not what I mean! You-”

- “No! You’ve made this very fucking clear!”

- You tried walking away, but he came after you, grabbing at your arm.

- “Eijiro! It’s done!” You yelled, irritation getting the best of you, flinging your arm away from him.

- You managed to shock him, your voice sounded so… hateful, did he really get you that mad?

- He didn’t mean to do it. Really! He was just worried about you, he didn’t want you getting hurt.

- But you got so mad, maybe he was in the wrong?

- He kinda just stood there like a confused puppy watching your figure disappear from his sight.

- ‘It’s done!’ Did that mean…?

- On your end you started to calm down, you don’t know why you blew your fuse like that, and it wasn’t a good thing to do.

- But you knew you needed to calm down before your temper got the best of you, and that you didn’t want to hurt Eijiro in anyway.

- You needed a shower, some pajamas, dinner, and then you can go back to him. Some time apart before talking about this again is the right way to do things.

- You made it to your room and grabbed some pajamas, going to take a rather… long shower before changing, putting your costume to get cleaned as you grabbed dinner and ate quickly, staying alone for the night.

- It was a while before you decided to talk to Eijiro again, now it seemed like you both were ready, right?

- Well, when you made your way to his room and knocked, there was no answer. So you waited and knocked again.

- You started to get a bit worried.

- Did… did you fuck up that bad?

- Is he okay? You didn’t mean it.

- You wanted to make this better.

- He… he deserves better.

- Your heart was racing and you wanted to make up with him, that this wasn’t his fault.

- Your head hit the door and you stood there with your eyes closed, thinking of the most worst case scenarios, not hearing the footsteps come up to you.

- “[ Y/n ]? Are… you alright?”

- Your head shot up.

- “Eiji…” You teared up, and went over to hug him, muttering apologies and while shaking a bit.

- “Hey, Hey- it’s alright. You’re making me think I did-”

- “No. No. You didn’t.” You pulled away.

- “I’m sorry. Really. I shouldn’t have blown up at you like that.”

- “I shouldn’t have said you were throwing yourself into things, or being reckless. I’m an idiot.”

- “Nah. I am.”

- “Are we really gonna do this?” He chuckled, watching you pull away as he opened the door.

- “Mm. maybe. Come on sharkie, let’s so cuddle.”

Katsuki Bakugo

- Oh god.

- He was in one of his moods again.

- Though Katsuki had a temper, he always valued communication, especially when your relationship became much more serious.

- And your relationship was strong because you always spoke and communicated well, making you love him more and more each day, which you didn’t think was even possible.

- So this situation you got into was seriously dumb, according to your standards, because it could’ve been avoided.

-You essentially were convicted of the big dumb. Too much Mina and Denki time you guess.

- Though you knew it was a miscommunication, Katsuki didn’t- so his anger was justified, but when hes yelling his head off and you can’t get a word in, it does get tiring. 

- “Are you fucking kidding me? Like you could have just asked! Really!”

- You were kind of waiting this out, for his anger to simmer out before you spoke, it always worked before.

- You sat on his bed, arms crossed, as you watched him pace around the room.

- You loved him, you really did, but you also knew how he is- so the bored look on your face really got to him.

- “Are- Baby are you even fucking listening?!”

- Your bored look honestly hurt him, did you not care about what was bothering him? Yeah, he was yelling like an ass, but he was upset.

- You got in trouble with Mina and Denki, and though it was dumb, he didn’t want you in bad standing with any teachers.

- And that look on your face like you didn’t care.

- Fuck.

- “Katsuki, I am listening. Why would you think I wouldn’t?”

- “Because that look on your face says it.”

- You were shocked, you didn’t mean it in any way like that, and your surprised look only seemed to make him even more upset.

- Then it blew up, with him looking more and more heartbroken, his anger dissipating into sadness quickly.

- “Katsuki, please, it isn’t like that.”

- You’re ready to cry at this point, you’re making him feel this way? You’re responsible for this?

- He notices you’re both getting to riled up and he sits on the bed, not talking and lets you both take a breather, not really saying anything.

- “Are you okay?" 

- "Yeah, you?”

- “I think so?” You muttered.

- He shifted next to you and brought his arm around you, and let you lay your head on him, his hand rubbing up and down your arm.

- “I’m sorry.”

- “It’s okay. I’m sorry too, I should have just asked you before acting like an idiot,”

- “I didn’t mean it, and it’s okay, we all become dumbasses once in a while.”

- “I know.”

- “I really am an ass.”

- “We know.” You smirked as you felt him stiffen.

- “Hey! I’m trying to-” He stops himself before sighing, a small smile on his face, bringing a hand to your cheek and pinching it. He brought his face into your neck and nuzzled harshly, tickling you and making you laugh, giggles escaping your throat.

- “Stop! Haha- Katsuki!”

- “What? I just wanna make it up to you!” He smiled maliciously, his hands coming to your sides.

- “Don’t you dare!”

- “Too bad!”

[werezmastarbucks]

amalfi again

honeymoon masterlist

word count: 3500

music: give me novacaine by green day

warnings: kai is being cold-blooded (duh)

“What’s the worst thing that can happen here?” you asked. You were pushing the shopping cart with Kai in it. It was called Grab Racing: you were supposed to push him as fast as you could, and he could only have whatever he managed to grab on the way, and then cook whatever he can out of the food he picked. After several dinners consisting of gummy cakes with mashed gummies and gummy based lemonade you changed the rules slightly, including some necessary healthy ingridients. You picked them yourself. If your prison world diet depended on Kai wholly, you’d soon get ulcer, even though your stomach couldn’t hurt because it reset back to normal every time after midnight.

He tried to reach for the shelf, but you passed it by already. Should’ve been quicker. You heard creaking and shuffling behind your back.

“Hey! No magic!” you stopped the cart.

“Stop wasting it”.

While at the stop, Kai nicked a pack of crisps from a shelf.

“Italian supermarkets are weird as hell”, you complained. “I wanna leave”.

“I thought you liked the sea air”, Kai argued.

“There are many other places with sea. What’s your favorite one?”

Kai paused, thinking. You both had to listen to ‘94 Italian supermarket music for a while. Supermarkets were by far the eeriest places on this abandoned Earth. Perhaps it was about the time you personally grew up with; they have been commercialized; they have been shown as places raided by zombies and aliens in the movies you watched as a child; they were lit in a specific way and had that special kind of symmetria, a calming system to them. Supermarkets, artificial, plastic and glass, were the manmade labirynths created for confusion and gluttony. The amount of twists and turns you had to do to find whatever you needed, the fact that you got lost every time no matter how many times you visited one and the same supermarket, the long aisles with colorful packages distracting a person from the realization the line they walk on represents their life and death... at first, it’s baby stuff: baby food, mashed fruits and stuff, baby clothes... then there’s cereal, milk and candy; then, all kinds of bathroom things, pads, shampoos, tooth brushes... followed by thick bars of chocolate, greying slowly and invisibly underneath the paper packaging... then, vegetables and fresh fruit, and finally, shovels. It’s hard to decipher it. It’s a wonderful experience, to visit a supermarket, even in a normal world. Here, they turned into absolutely magical, meaningful, empty witch spaces. You always expected something to happen at the supermarket.

Kai had no idea about how deep you thought about it.

“I don’t like water”, he said finally.

“How come? Afraid?”

“I’m not afraid of anything”, he said proudly. You gazed down at his stubborn dark hair, his head and shoulders in jean jacket. Kai loved his jean jackets. While all you did was hunted down crop tops and long earrings in here, he started possessing quite an impressive jean jacket collection.

“That’s not true”, you murmured.

“What am I afraid of?” he asked. He sat with his knees close to his chest, the tips of his bacon Converses against the cage of the cart. Together with all the goods he already picked, the whole carriage was quite heavy. Every time you carried something heavy, or pushed him around, or climbed a hill, you thought bitterly that it’s no use. You don’t do anything to your body. Tomorrow, which is going to be today, your muscles will be completely oblivious of all the hard work you did.

The only thing you could train here was your mind.

“You’re scared I’ll leave you“.

“You’re mortified of this place”, he said with certainty. “That one time you thought I left? When I fell into the ditch?”

You recalled it like it was yesterday. This was a big joke now, you laughed at it a lot. Whenever you didn’t feel like doing something you’d say, I’ll do it tomorrow, and laugh like two complete assholes, in the middle of an empty street, which was either spectacurlarly hilarious, or tragic.

That one time you thought Kai left was when he literally fell into a ditch on one of the twisted, narrow Pisa streets. The ditch was more like an underground tunnel open on the top, deep and dark. You were walking down parallel streets, searching for a nice coffee shop. Apparently, he started climbing a stone wall, desiring to look inside a window. Maybe back in the medieval times, they have dug that very ditch specifically with the thought in mind, that some voyeuristic idiot will want to peek inside someone’s house. Centuries have passed, and Malachai no middle name Parker has tried climbing the stone wall, fell and broke his neck without making a sound. He was lying on the bottom of the ditch until dark while you ran down the streets calling him all the names you could think of, as your mind ran even faster. Has he been kidnapped? By whom? Aliens? Werewolves? Witches? Italian ghosts? Consumed by the ground? Has he left? Why would he do that to you? Was it a prank? Was he watching you and laughing? As he resurrected and crawled out back onto the street, you sat on the same street catatonically, your head in your hands, numb with horror. That was the day when you realized, this world was only tolerable if he was near you.

“You are so stupid”, you hissed through your teeth. You wanted to tell him how stupid he was, with his stupid white smile, and his monkey limbs that called him to crawl and climb everything, his stupid black hair and river grey eyes, and his stupid white neck with two birthmarks, soft like drops of chocolate. And his stupid... everything, he was so stupid sometimes you wanted to kill him yourself.

“You dig me so much”, he echoed instantly. “Going back to your question, I think the worst thing about this place is being locked somewhere without a chance to get out. Like, buried alive”.

You stopped pushing him for a second, and he noticed.

“Because you can’t really die”.

“Yeah. You suffocate, suffer, then return. You’re hungry all the time, your throat is dry, it’s completely dark, you’re alone, and you can’t get out. And you’re just there, for years. Or maybe even centuries”.

You nodded.

“Yeah, that must be it”.

You still had that ingrained instinct to head for the registers after you were done shopping.

After a little detour, you finally pushed him outside, into the sun, and looked up at the sky. The time of eclipse was coming, but every day it made less and less sense. At first it was kinda tragic. There it goes again, your chance to get out of here. You have no ascendant, no Bennett blood. The eclipse winks at you, gloating, scolds you, and goes away, and you’re still here.

After a couple of months, it made less sense and hurt less. You were preoccupied with something else.

He was giving you looks which you knew wouldn’t let go. Kai had nothing else to entertain himself with here: he’s been here before. He couldn’t share your amazement at the stars at night, the stillness of the cities, the emptiness of the landscape. He didn’t care for completely silent, glowing, crowdless New York standing over the Hudson. He couldn’t pretend he was even mildly touched by a thousand miles long California beach, with the waves crashing on the white sand, and bringing no jellyfish. He was over it. As much as you were curious about every little corner of this world, he despised it; he found incredible worth in studying you instead. Following the advice you gave him (not to get bored (again), he was crawling up to you slowly, like a snake. He learnt all your glances and the way you liked to sleep. He learnt the pace of your heart. He knew what you ate, and what you didn’t. What time you took showers. What colors you never wore. He had nothing else to do here, but you.

So now, he knew he had striken a nerve, unknowingly, and of course, he wanted to know everything at once.

“You still don’t get it, do you”, he chuckled, standing idly by, as you loaded the trunk of your new, bottle-green BMW, with food. You bit your lower lip because you found it usually helped you keep a straight face.

“All you have is me”.

You hummed, almost amused. You somehow liked the sound of it.

“I am all you have. You don’t tell me, you tell nobody. You keep it to yourself. You go crazy. There’s two crazy people. We kill each other and there’s no happy end”.

“We can’t kill each other permanently”.

“I know, but we can do it many times and turn everything into... Starving Fest?”

You lost, letting a giggle out.

“Hunger Games”.

“Yeah, I know. What was it?”

“Oh, Kai, you’re so invasive”.

“I know, I’m a virus”.

“I do get it, by the way. I’m keenly aware you’re all I have”, you said, looking him straight in the eye. You understood it well the day he broke his stupid neck in Pisa. You could not even fathom that terror completely, to say nothing about explaining the feeling to him. You were afraid some deep feeling of attachment was developing here, right beneath your forehead.

“Then tell me”.

You sighed. Telling stories was, obviously, a big source of entertainment. People told stories from the beginning of times. Mainly dark stories, frightening ones. So that the fire seems warmer.

“You remember that golden slender crabtree in the Salvatore yard?”

“Yeah”, he nodded, already delighted. He knew it was going to be something hurtful for you, and enjoyed it all the more. The glint in his eyes made him look very alive, the way he looked when he was in his killing mode.

You got into the car, and Kai followed you, buckling up, out of habit now.

“And Katherine? Katherine Pierce? Do you remember her?”

“Damon’s chick who looks like Stefan’s chick”, he nodded again.

“Well, it’s fair to say Elena looks like Katherine. She’s her double after all”.

“Eh”.

“But yeah, Damon loves her very much. Still”.

You looked at the empty parking lot, and started the car. Kai groaned.

“Don’t tell me you love Damon Salvatore”.

“I used to. When I was, like, sixteen. If you were a sixteen year old girl, you’d love him, too”.

“I really doubt that. I’m more into rocker guys”.

“Whataver you say, Kai. Anyway, their romance was turbulent, he chased her for many years, and she barely gave a fuck about him, but Damon loved her so much; he practically ended up a vampire because of her. The whole Salvatore thing started because of her when she started dating both of them...”

“How’s it connected to you?” Kai asked.

“It is. I’m trying to give you the full story”.

You took on the street. Now you knew the town of Amalfi very well, to your own surprise. Would you ever guess, even a year before? This was bizarre. You drove along the trickly weaving serpentine roads almost like a pro, having lived here for almost a month. The view was divine. Deep blue in the morning, the sea was heating closer to four in the afternoon and was losing the color gradually, until the evening made it navy under the violet sky.

Prison.

“The full story is dull. I hated that whole town specifically for their neverending drama. Who’s in love with whom? Who cheats on whom? Everybody fights for Elena, but I mean, have you seen what she’s wearing all the time?” Kai rambled lazily, “What the hell? And who cares, as well? I was baffled at how much drama they’re able to handle. If you like someone, why not just fuck them, and move on?”

You swayed your head, already quite used to his blunt view of attraction. He was being a little hypocritical, though. In the way he spooned you diligently, every night, there was way more than his straightforward sober calculation.

“Anyway”, you interrupted him, “the bottom line is, Katherine and Damon, although they both will deny their more or less mutual feelings, do tend to do stuff just to cause a reaction out of each other. Katherine, surprisingly, more so than Damon. He at least admits he’s still simping hard about her, which I find totally adorable and very cinematographic”.

“Why?”

“Well, Kai, he’s loved her since he turned. Which is, like, about two hundred years”.

“You’re so bad at math”.

“And yes, they had slept together, so it’s definitely, obviously not just an extreme case of trying to get laid. He really loves her. After all she’s done. If that doesn’t make you believe in love, I don’t know what to do with you”.

He frowned a little, looking ahead. You took the wheel with both hands as the car started climbing up the mountain. The laughably luxurious villa you occupied had two pools, insane city view and was on the top of the highest mountaint. If you can have anything, why not take it all.

“Princess, I still don’t get how it’s all connected with your eternal dread of enclosed spaces and that fucking tree”.

You ignored his impatience.

“Back at school, when I befriended Damon, because I was friends with Elena, and Elena dated his brother, he got some crazy idea I’m his project or something. He was trying to mentor me, even took me together with him when he needed to do something. There was a time I was working as his Door Girl”.

“What’s that mean?”

“Vampires can’t enter homes. If he needed to get inside someone’s house, I’d step on the porch and push the owner a little, so that they step out, and he broke their neck”.

Kai whistled really quietly.

“You are vile”.

“I was sixteen, and I was completely in love with him, and really wanted him to think I was badass and it never occurred to me that he was using me”.

“Wow”, Kai said slowly.

“You sound very judgmental for a psycho killer (by Talking Heads)”.

He tilted his head, and you just had to look. He looked so handsome. Maybe it was the biological thing, the last guy on the planet and whatnot. Every day, he seemed prettier and prettier to you, the stupid bastard. All his smirks, his cocky attitude, his stupid rubber neck bending sideways, the eyes always targeting you with the deadliest accuracy, it all was calling for you, and the depths of you replied.

“At least I never pretended to be a good person”.

“I never told you I was”.

“You all think that by default”.

“You claim to know me and yet...”

He smiled.

“Okay. Go on”.

“Damon started thinking of me eventually as of his very little sister, or something. Who was also his drinking buddy occasionally. I’m still very proud that a vamp like him considered me somewhat of a friend”.

You knew Kai would sniff with contempt, and he did.

“So, I became a person of interest. Of course, everyone knew I’m his buddy. It’s a little town. When Katherine came, and she always comes, and it seems to me, she even comes back sometimes - when she came, she really wanted to sting him somehow. So she took me, and she put me inside the earth in a chunk of a concrete drain pipe. She buried me alive”.

Finally, there was no opinionated comment. The utter silence in the car suddenly made you aware you forgot your phone at home. Kai watched you, almost mesmerized, clearly trying to picture it as graphically as he could. You wondered if your suffering was arousing to him.

“She obviously closed it on both ends. It’s way worse than a coffin, I can tell you. Have you ever been buried alive?”

“No”, he said simply.

“She buried me right under the windows of his room. In the yard. So that when he realizes I’m dead, it haunts him that I was right under is nose. Concrete pipe, six feet under the ground, you know, even a vampire ear would have hard time hearing me scream”.

“Did you scream?”

“Of course. I split my forehead and my elbows, I broke all my nails. I was sixteen, I gave in to panic and almost lost all the oxygen. For some reason, I decided to kill myself by breaking my own skull, not to suffer, and started banging my head on the pipe”.

Kai’s face was unreadable. You looked at him and then turned back to the glass smooth sunny asphalt. Every patch of asphalt reminded you of that pipe. Every concrete thing reminded you of that, always.

“How did you get out?” he asked. You were glad Kai didn’t ask for gory details or the uncomfortable, uneasy questions.

“He did hear me. Turns out, I’m very good at screaming”.

“I reckon”, he replied quietly.

“You’re enjoying it, aren’t you?”

He shrugged.

“Those experiences are very telling. If I’d known you could take so much and go on, I’d be harsher with you. How did it feel? Worse than now?”

“Nothing has ever been worse than that, to be honest”, you said, and had to clear your throat, because you suddenly lost your voice a little.

“This is not an invitation, Parker”.

He chuckled.

“Oh, dear Y/N. You think I’m some kinda maniac?”

You side eyed him with a smile. He grinned, too.

“And what with the tree?”

“Damon brought like... a seed he had found somewhere in Persia or whatever, and planted it on the spot I’d been buried. What a douche. Like I need to be reminded about it every day. That’s exactly what happens when you soulless jerks try to be sensitive”.

“That hurts me, when you say that”.

You sighed and let go of the wheel with one hand, feeling for his head.

“I’m sorry. I keep forgetting you have feelings now”.

“I have feelings for you”.

“Right. This crabtree was supposed to be usual, but it turned out some magical witchy fairy tree, it never brings apples, but it blooms when other trees don’t. And the trunk is golden. And the leaves, too. So, boo, Y/N survival tree. Wonderful. I made him cut it once, and what do you think. It grew back the next year”.

“Katherine is still alive though?” Kai reasoned.

“Yes, she is”, you responded, a bit louder, “she’s simply sleeping in the Fell’s old tomb. Apparently, bad guys don’t have to die if they’re cute”.

“Good for me”.

“He has betrayed me”, you noted, “he has chosen her over me, the girl he was supposed to take care of. I was a child, Kai”.

His hand laid on your lap, which you asked him not to do many times. You wouldn’t shrug him off this time, though. It didn’t matter anymore. You liked it when he touched you, and Kai knew it.

“Well, you said yourself he loves her. You just gotta find yourself a guy who loves you as much, and he’ll avenge you”.

You hummed. Tension settled in the car. It was so thick you didn’t even notice the sun blazing right into your eyes. You already knew the road pretty well. Soon, there’ll be a very sharp U turn, and after it, the most beautiful bay will make itself visible. Ghost ships with summery scarlet and orange sails are forever stuck there, swaying peacefully on water. Wooden pier with creeking planks, emerald green weed fluttering near the shore. It was quite a sight, and many times already, you almost sent the car down off the cliff, hypnotized by the sight. The cliff was rocky, completely vertical down there. You got your foot ready to push gently on the breaks.

“Have you ever loved anyone?” you asked. Here, now, as your car traveled on the serpentine, with around four hundred packs of frozen chicken nuggets in the trunk, it sounded a bit silly.

Kai clicked his tongue, already preoccupied with something new. Just like that, the conversation was over.

“Kai, I asked you the question”.

“Yeah, yeah, I have”.

The bay turned up. You realized the car isn’t obeying you like it did yesterday.

“What the...”

The turn was now speeding up to you as you pushed the breaks into the floor, but nothing happened. The car was rolling down the hill, gaining speed, on ice-slippery road.

You knew at once he was behind it.

“Kai, what the fuck?”

Your spine went numb with very natural, very animal fear. You could see the edge now.

“I cut the breaks”, he replied, and took your hand. He interlocked his fingers with yours.

You had no idea what he was trying to tell you.

[trellanyx]

your jonathan crane (who i love so very much) and numbers 1 through... oh, lets say 25 ;)

(Send me a character and a number)

Have I told you how much I love you lately, Lizard? Because I do. Oh yes I do. 😂

Word vomiting about my Jon in 3, 2, 1...

1) Something this character is truly proud of.

His work, of course. Not just the toxin, but the breadth of his knowledge, his experiments, his successes and vengeances. Jonathan is an expert in his field, and considering what he went through to get there he’s damn proud of it.

2) Who they want to please the most.

Jonathan Crane does not give a single solitary fuck about what anyone thinks of him. The only satisfaction he cares about is his own. Considering how high his standards are, that’s a big enough challenge already.

3) Who depends on them.

No one. Jon may make you think you need him if that serves his end goal, but other than that he keeps his distance. If you’re in a position where you actually depend on Jonathan Crane’s services, you’re fucked.

4) What they would do if they had one month to live.

Work feverishly to A) preserve his work and B) push it as far as it can go before his body betrays him. Jon would be pulling such long, intense hours that it’s quite possible he’d drop dead before the month was up from sheer exhaustion. If he doesn’t, then he takes his magnum opus and goes out with a hell of a bang.

5) A cherished personal belonging.

Nothing. He has things he likes more than most: a tortoiseshell watch, a spring-loaded gun, his sturdiest boots, his sharpest scythe - the whole fear gauntlet, actually, impractical as it was - but nothing he’d go as far as to say he cherishes. Everything Jon owns is expendable, and no matter how attached he might be to something, there’s nothing he wouldn’t chuck in a fire instantly if he needed to. 

6) Something they lost, but would love to have back.

“Unlimited access to test subjects wrapped in a stable paycheck. Arkham’s much more fun on the other side of the straitjacket.”

7) This character’s favorite character

I give up. It’s been days. Days that this post has sat in my drafts while I tried to think of this asshole’s favorite character, and I’ve got nothing. I’ve come up with a couple of disparate headcanons involving Jon and fiction in general, but I have no answer for this one. I offer this as a placeholder: “He doesn’t have any because he’s a contrary and insufferable bastard.”

8) What kind of car they would drive.

Dark, boring, older than sin. The gas pedal is the most abused piece of equipment in South Gotham. There’s a stain on the backseat floor that Jon says is coffee, and no one is brave enough to question him. Edward refuses to be seen dead in it. One day Jon’s gonna take that as a challenge.

9) What calms them when they are upset.

It really depends on the type of distress that it is. The basic scale is this:

Drumming his nails against things, or just tapping against the nearest flat surface if his nails aren’t long enough. (Common response to most grievances.)

Stepping outside for a smoke. He goes back inside when he either feels better or runs out of cigarettes.

Pacing inside or stalking through the streets like he’s on his way to kill somebody, taking small, petty pleasure watching people jump out of his way.

Stewing in a corner with a bottle of strong alcohol.

Actually killing somebody.

10) How they deal with pain.

Grits his teeth and bears it. The first lesson he ever learned.

11) This character’s favorite piece or pieces of clothing.

As Scarecrow: His plague doctor mask, which replaced the traditional burlap after he stopped being able to feel fear.

As Jon: Custom winter gloves with longer fingers to accommodate his nails in the winter.

12) How they sleep.

I’ve talked about this before, actually! Here’s the quote:

Since he suffers from chronic insomnia and chronic I Have No Idea What Healthy Habits Look Like, Jonathan doesn’t go to bed very often. He’s more likely to pass out wherever he is - couch, desk, once on a morgue slab (don’t ask)… But when he does sleep in a bed, he tosses and turns a ridiculous amount. It’s not that he’s having nightmares (though with the way he moves, how could you tell), he just has a hard time getting comfortable. He’ll turn over at least 3-6 times before falling asleep, and he’ll keep shifting even after he does. It’s very common for Jonathan to fall asleep with three blankets and wake up with only one.

13) What kind of parent they would be.

*hysterical laughter* NO.

14) How they did in school.

He struggled with it a lot. Not because of a lack of intelligence or drive, but because:

Constant undernourishment and late night punishments made it difficult for Jon to stay awake in class. (His insomnia didn’t develop until he was in his early 20s.)

His homework was often late or mediocre because Jon did it after being beaten or kept busy with his grandmother’s laborious demands, if he was in a state to do it at all.

Jon’s glasses were almost never up to date. Constant squinting compounded by what Jon now knows were chronic migraines made class not only difficult to concentrate on, but physically painful.

Bullying. I don’t think I need to elaborate there.

Jon barely eked out a GPA high enough to get him into a local community college with the help of a scholarship targeted toward low-income families. Once his grandmother and bullies “helpfully” left the picture and Jon could focus on eliminating the obstacles above, he threw himself into his studies like a man possessed, and by the time he graduated, he’d secured himself entry to a post-baccalaureate program in Gotham. He used that as a stepping stone to med school and the rest is history.

15) What cologne or perfume they would use.

Jon doesn’t like either. His only indulgence in the smell department is almond-scented soap.

16) Their sexuality.

It varies depending on what version of him I’m playing, but it’s always either bi or gay.

17) What they’d sing at karaoke.

Something slow, creepy and mournful, probably not even on the set list, while he stares at you unblinking and makes you regret every decision in your life that helped force him onstage. You don’t ask for an encore.

18) Special talents they have.

Jon is double-jointed, a great whistler, sews all his costumes and is an adequate mechanic. See the “should be dead twelve times over” car he still drives. He’s also a better swimmer than people give him credit for, something that’s saved his life more than once.

19) When they feel safest.

In front of a fireplace. Jon can’t really explain it, nor does it make sense considering how much he hates heat in general. But there’s something about sitting in front of a fire that really relaxes him. (Don��t bother with the scarecrow/fire jokes, he’s heard them all.)

20) Household chore they hate the most.

Bathrooms.

21) Their fondest childhood memory.

“Killing them.”

22) How they spend their money.

Books, chemicals, caffeine, alcohol, weapons. And then living essentials. Maybe. Depends on how low he is on nicotine. (Jon’s spending habits are so predictable it became a running joke on campus, what did you expect.)

23) What kind of alcohol they drink.

He’s not picky, but nothing beats a finely aged whiskey. He’s also partial to Black Russians.

24) What they wish they could change about themselves.

Useful as it can be, Jon regrets the loss of his ability to feel fear. He also wishes he didn’t get migraines so often. Nothing on the personality front, though: Jon knows what he is.

25) What other people wish they could change about them.

Oh honey, there’s not enough hours in the day to list all that.

[wanderlustinwonderland18]

Elena Ilinykh: “There Are No Limits”

I remember how you told me that you would become a mother. You just found out that you are expecting a baby, and your eyes burned so bright, just like in Sochi!

Elena: Well, that’s because I told you (laughs). I was so happy at that moment! I had my own fears. I wanted a child and was afraid that something might not work out because of the sport. I thought that 25 is a very good age to become a mother for the first time. Thank God, everything went well for me, fears remained fears, and I have a child now... This is the biggest miracle, completely indescribable feelings. Of course, at this stage of my life, this is my most important victory.

Are you ready to repeat? To have the second baby right after this?

Elena: Right after? I don’t know, I am so happy that this happened. Of course, I’m ready for this joy again. Children are from God, so as God willing, I’m ready (laughs).

So Mir has a Russian passport, American by the place of birth, and I heard that Seryozha would also like to think about Ukraine and Serbia because he has passports of these countries?

Elena: Ukrainian is already registered, and yes, we will think about Serbian too.

Mir is a citizen of the world.

Elena: Yes, 100 percent! We have already laughed so many times about this! Just yesterday, I talked with my mom, and she said: “I see it in his eyes that he should study at MGIMO (Moscow State Institute of International Relations).” I said: “Well, in principle, everything is set for this” (laughs).

Wait, MGIMO? You told me that the Mir has ballet feet!

Elena: Well, yes, he definitely has ballet feet and ballet arms. He will have all the makings of creative person, but Seryozha and I think that two creative people in the family is enough (laughs). In fact, it’s too early to think about it. We will listen and observe his development.

Your romance with the ballet began long before Seryozha, because when you and Nikita (Katsalapov) did Don Quixote, the Bolshoi Theater sewed a tutu for you.

Elena: Yes.

At that moment, did you know that it will lead to a ballet love story?

Elena: Of course not. I always watched ballet with pleasure, to look for new lifts or new costumes... But I did not know anything about the dancer Sergei Polunin. As it turned out later, photos from his Spartacus were saved on my phone! It is a habit of mine to save ballet photos.

Well, if you and Dima Soloviev resume a career, one program is already clear.

Elena: Dima and I have slightly different plans for the free dance (laughs).

So, is a career resumption possible?

Elena: It’s very difficult to coordinate all this right now. I really had a conversation with Dima, we discussed everything. When I began to skate with Dima, Katya Bobrova, who was pregnant during that time, came to our first training session and showed me some elements. I thank her so much for that! She was already with a belly, and after the training she said: “that’s all, I’m going on maternity leave, it’s your turn now.”

Did you touch her belly?

Elena: Yes, she she let me (laughs).

Now everything is clear. She passed the baton.

Elena: (Laughs) I think so. Everything went so well with Dima in the show. Surprisingly, we get along both in character and on the ice. We began to talk a lot and realized that we have a chance to do what we haven’t done in figure skating yet... That we haven’t fulfilled our careers, and that we need to continue.

I was so sure that you were born in Moscow, and to my surprise...

Elena: I was born on the shore of the Caspian Sea, in Aktau (Kazakhstan).

Have you been there since birth?

Elena: Yes, of course. My dad lives there, my grandmother and grandfather on my father’s side too. I visit them in Astana. The city has changed so much!

It could have been Elena Ilinykh from Kazakhstan, but so far, the world of figure skating only knows Elizabet Tursynbaeva.

Elena: Yes, a very good and talented girl. By the way, I’m pleased that they write about me in Kazakhstan... People over there say yes, she represents Russia but this is our girl! She was born in Kazakhstan! My dad sent me texts from newspapers, that they were proud of me back home, cheered at competitions. It is very pleasant and important for me.

Another surprise for me is that you apparently skated with Ivan Bukin...

Elena: Well, no, let me crush this myth. I don’t know where it came from but these are untrue stories. I started in ice dance with Nikita. We were both single skaters in the group of Dubinskaia. Videos of our performances are even available on YouTube. A little later, our mothers decided to put us in a pair, switch to ice dance, and go to Ilya Averbukh and Irina Lobacheva. We were the very first students to go there. On the very first day, Nikita dropped me from a lift and I had a huge black eye. After that trial, we started to work as a pair (laughs). Not long after, we went to Alexander Zhulin. We competed, skated for a year, and then we had a short break up.

And you went to America to train with Zueva and Shpilband?

Elena: Yes, just after the first break, I went to America... But before that, I was still in Moscow for two months. It is these two months they say that I skated with Vanya and left him. No, no, no! Since I was temporarily left without a partner, I was looking. With Ivan, we only had a try out. In my understanding, to be a pair is to perform in at least one competition. With Bukin, we didn’t have a single joint program. We tried to skate together, tried to do different joint exercises, but these were just try outs, only two months. So there can be no talk of any joint partnership. At first, his dad coached us a little, then we went to the group of Svinin and Zhuk... But they did not take me seriously at that time. They had a strong group and I was completely unnoticed there. You know me, everything was boiling inside, I needed attention.

So what happened?

Elena: During that time, Igor Shpilband and Marina Zueva invited me. I don’t remember how it happened, but I was taken to the United States. That’s all. Vanya and I didn’t take part in any competitions, we have never performed together. I sometimes read that people are not happy with me, because I left Vanya... But we couldn’t have anything, I was made to understand that I did not fit the role of Vanya’s partner.

And you went to Zueva and Shpilband, who had the paradise of ice dancers.

Elena: I was like WOW the whole time! Little Shibutanis were there, Belbin and Agosto, Davis and White, Virtue and Moir, Chock and Bates. These teams developed there. In general, it was an incredible experience. There really was a system. It’s probably not good to reveal some inside secrets, but Marina with Igor – it was incredible.

What did they have that we didn’t?

Elena: Healthy competition... Everyone is determined to work, to win, but there was no bad blood. It seems to me that Russian athletes have a little bit.

One of the most popular questions: Does Ilinykh communicate with Katsalapov?

Elena: Well, I can’t say that we communicate because we both have completely different lives now... But we have a good relationship, we congratulate each other on holidays. Vika congratulated me on the birth of my child. It’s not our problem that people come up with the idea of conflict between us. I cheer for Nikita, for his partnership with Vika. There is no hostility between us. I am grateful to Nikita because together, we achieved the main goal in our career – Olympic gold and bronze. Nikita chose a different path, and now he strives to reach new goals. I have different values, I walk my own path. Maybe there is some kind of internal female bitterness, but this is solely my problem and not the problem of our relations.

You started as a single skater. If we imagine you in the group of Tutberidze, do you think that you would succeed?

Elena: (Laughs) Yes, I think so. At one of the training camps, Julia Lipnitskaya and I watched some of my old videos, and she joked that it’s good that I switched to ice dance, because otherwise, we would have competed against each other in Sochi. She appreciated the technique of my double axel, which at that time, was very cool for my age (laughs). Now, of course, the bar has risen, but I always liked single skating. I love the strict approach, this tough approach is just what I needed. Therefore, if I were in Tutberidze’s group, I’m sure I would succeed under her guidance.

Which of Tutberidze’s skaters do you like the most?

Elena: Sasha Trusova. I’m a fan!

Why?

Elena: I don’t know, she’s so cool. I really like her. I always worry about her the most. I appreciate the qualities of all the girls, they are all great, but for some reason, I like Sasha the most. She reminds me very much of Julia Lipnitskaya, with her character.

I remember you telling me that two weeks after the birth of Mir, you would return with Dima Soloviev.

Elena: Yes. If it strikes me that I’m coming back, I will accept this challenge and work hard. There are no limits.

[imagine-loki]

Pride and Prejudice

TITLE: Pride and Prejudice CHAPTER NO./ONE SHOT: Chapter 50 AUTHOR: wolfpawn

ORIGINAL IMAGINE: Imagine Loki was raised on Jotunheim as Laufey’s son after the war, but an agreement was then made that he would wed Odin’s daughter so Odin could secure the alliance of Jotunheim through the marriage. Loki, in turn, was raised to be king of Jotunheim, but how he views Asgard is far different from how Odin’s daughter is raised leading to a clash of cultures as well as uncertainty between the pair of betrothed youths.     RATING: Mature   NOTES/WARNINGS: Forced Marriage, not all fun and games. My first real step back into the Loki scene in over a year.

I literally have this written with over a week and just as a tab on my computer but I suffer from ITS, Idiotic Thoughts Syndrome which makes me really mentally weird and my mind tells me no one likes my stuff, I just had a few people message me over the last day about this telling me they love it which forced me to feel like I am letting them down if I don’t post it which, by the way, is sometimes the best way to motivate my shitty ass, so yeah, it needs saying, if you like this, please let me know, it actually gets me to upload new chapters. I have some written, so…yeah.

Tags - @skulliebythesea @asimovethroughthisworld @blackcherry26-blog @we-shadowhunter2901

The roar of the Bifrost resounded across Jotunheim, declaring to the realm that the Allfather had arrived. Loki and Ella stood in the aforementioned agreed place of landing for the Aesir royal family with a few others with them. On seeing her parents, Ella smiled brightly, though her nervousness at revealing to them that she was carrying a child still played slightly on her. She had decided to inform them of their impending grandchild later in the palace, but for now, she hid it under a heavy cloak. When her parents and brother emerged from the startling light, some of their guards and even two of the Warrior’s Three with them, Loki and Ella stepped forward. 

Both Odin and Frigga seemed to immediately look at their daughter more than anything else, Frigga more so than her husband. Though the pair had been conversing through their seidr, it was the first time mother and daughter had been physically in one another’s company since the wedding and especially since she had been ill. Loki and Ella bowed as was expected to the Allfather and Allmother, who in turn both lowered their heads slightly in recognition of the gesture. Thor, who had stood back slightly came forward to deal with the formalities of the situation, though part of him thought it to be entirely unnecessary. Technically speaking, those arriving for the coronation were not doing so yet, so their being there was not on an official basis, more so on being there to assist their daughter and her husband, should they be required to assist so the bowing and such, the stoic interactions were something he wished did not occur. He had fought alongside the Jotnar, bled and lost brethren with them, that made the pageantry unnecessary in his eyes. He wanted to speak with the allies he had made again. 

“Allfather,” Loki bowed to Odin before turning to Frigga and doing the same. “Allmother, thank you for joining us for this momentous occasion.”  

“It is a great day for Jotunheim.” Odin declared though he looked warily at his daughter to see if she had been better treated since his last seeing her. Frigga had informed him that Ella looked healthy and happy when they spoke together but he did not fully believe it. She had put on a facade in the time up to her health scare, she could very easily do so again. But seeing her smile brightly, if not slightly apprehensively at them, there was no denying that she was indeed healthy again. If anything, he noted she seemed a little weightier than before, though he would never state such aloud, he always maintained she could do with a little more weight, especially after she got sick as a child. He wanted to be less formal, to speak with her but this was not the time. “It seems like life is developing well since the Casket’s return, a great success.”

Loki, Ella and many others gathered on the Jotnar side gritted their teeth with regards his comments on the Casket, all thinking the same with regards to him taking it in the first place.” “Jotunheim has never seen prosperity like it. The food is plenty, the many are healthy and the population is about to see an explosion like never before,” Ella beamed. “And with Loki’s rule, it will be even better.” The confident look she gave him and his smile in return startled the Aesir royals to the point of silence. In her talks with her mother, Ella rarely spoke on Loki in any manner, much less one to suggest to her mother that she thought so well of Loki. 

Odin was the first to find his voice again and cleared his throat which in turn, broke the peculiar feeling in the group gathered. “Good, the realm deserves a fresh start.” 

With the formalities completed, everyone headed to the palace. The Jotnar they met on route glanced at the Aesir party with intrigue yet not overly concerned. The Aesir mate to their soon-to-be king had caused many who had been wary before to trust the Aesir slightly more and with Loki’s coronation, they knew this was a necessary evil to host the Allfather once more. 

When they made it to the palace, Ella led them to their rooms with Loki by her side. As soon as all but her brother, his friends and her parents were gone, she walked over to her father and placed her hand beneath his own on Gungnir. “If I may be so bold, I need to borrow this for five minutes.” 

Odin frowned at his daughter. He had not even spoken directly to her since their arrival and she had not explained why she would require one of the most powerful weapons in all of the realms but the pleading yet confident look on her face told him that she felt whatever she planned required it greatly enough to ask. With a slight nod, he relinquished his grip on it and watched as she rushed off, Loki looking at her with confusion on his face as she left. When the young Jotnar noticed the Aesir royals looking at him in bewilderment, all he could do was try to express that he too was oblivious to what his mate was doing. 

Three minutes later, Býleistr walked past them looking terrified. A moment later Helbindi and Greta walked into the hall, both seeing the confused royals gathered in the hallway, both looking equal parts in awe and somewhat scared. 

“What did she do?” Loki half winced, not sure what they were going to say. 

Helbindi grinned. “Did you ask her about the space issue?” Loki nodded. “Well, it is dealt with.”

“What?” Loki cocked his head. 

“She’s after dealing with our space issue,” Helbindi repeated. 

“How?” “No idea. She used some golden stick and her seidr to do it.”

“That’s not a stick, that is Gungnir,” Odin growled, displeased that anyone would disrespect his powerful weapon in such a manner. 

“Gung...I thought only the Allfather could use that?” Helbindi looked to Loki in confusion. 

“Why do you seem surprised?” Loki chuckled. “Ella does as she sees fit, even powerful magical weapons know better than to argue with her.” He threw his eyes up playfully as he said so. 

Barely a moment later, Ella walked through the hall once more, looking proud of herself, Gungnir in her hand. When she got to her father, she smirked and handed him back the staff. “Thank you.” 

“That suits you far too well,” Odin commented to his daughter as he took back Gungnir. He used his seidr to read the magic that the staff had recently worked with to see what she had done. When he sensed it, he studied his daughter’s face, startled by the smirk on it. “How?” “You limit your abilities too much, Father, by your choice not to expand them.” She walked over to Loki who looked curiously at her. “The space issue is rectified.” “So ‘Bind said but how?” 

“I may have tripled the palace.” “I’m sorry, you what?” Loki could not comprehend what she was saying. 

“I used Gungnir to magnify my seidr and simply made the palace bigger. We needed more rooms, I made it that the living areas of the palace are now copied a few extra times so we can house all those who wish to be here. I also used it to make the areas habitable to those arriving. The last thing we need is frozen Light Elves.” 

Loki could not think of an answer worthy of the statement. When he mentioned his concerns to Ella, she smiled and promised to rectify it. When he asked her how she planned to do so, she merely smiled and repeated that she would do so and not worry about it any more. Seeing her do so in less than the time it took to get to the throne room, he found himself wondering how he could ever have thought her to be dim-witted when he first met her. “Always finding solutions.” He smiled kindly at her. 

“What would you do without me?” She smiled before looking over at her parents and brother who clearly were uncertain as to what to say with regards to their daughter’s clearly altered situation. Thor knew that Loki had developed from the arrogant being that he had seen for the wedding, even speaking to him when he came for their assistance but seeing now that it seemed to even have grown more intrigued him slightly, especially because Ella seemed different. She seemed a lot more open, something he had not been used to on Asgard. To him, she was always an annoying prankster at worst or disinterested in him and his friends at best. She never seemed to do anything but stand and listen to court or speak almost stoically with friends. Now, she seemed so much more outgoing and confident. 

“I think we best get settled.” Frigga turned to Odin, who clearly was weary, though no one would admit to such out loud, especially Odin himself. 

“Yes, when you do so, Loki and I must speak more with you,” Ella stated. Her parents stared at her worriedly. “Yes, we are nulling the marriage and I am taking the veil.” Each word dripped with adequate sarcasm befitting her deadpan tone and facial expression. “Surprise.” 

“I thought you had matured, I was getting worried.” Thor scoffed. 

“And be boring? Perish the thought.” Ella shuddered. “Go get settled. We will ensure everything is as it needs to be here and then we will speak more.” She bowed slightly. “Until then, I am getting something to eat.” With that, she walked off. 

Helbindi scoffed slightly before encouraging Greta to back to their rooms to rest. Her heat had settled and she was currently waiting to see if she had become pregnant anxiously while also assisting with the coronation with the other female mates. Helbindi was forced to deal with other matters meaning he only say her for small parts of the day but was adamant that she rest adequately. 

Loki looked after his mate for a moment before looking at her bemused parents. “I best alert my father than all are here.” “Where is Laufey?” Odin asked. 

“Resting, I fear. His health continues to waiver so he must rest more often, hence this unprecedented event.” He bowed slightly. “Until later, please, make yourselves comfortable.” With that, he left to follow do as he said and inform his father. 

“Do we even want to know?” Odin asked his wife. “What did she say to you?” “Nothing worthy of speaking with us like she is implying she needs to, perhaps it is to do with the coronation, she seems slightly concerned with regards to that,” Frigga shrugged. “Nonetheless, it would be wise for us to attempt to prepare the rooms, those ice-beds do nothing for your back.” 

“You hardly doubt it took Ella that long to merely duplicate a few rooms? She has readied ours to our liking also.” Odin informed her. “She said she did it in the other wings but she did it for us also.” 

“How could you possibly know that?” 

“Do you think you are the only one she can communicate silently with? Why do you think we both held Gungnir for a moment?” His chest puffed out proudly. “It was from us both that she became one of the most powerful seidr wielder in the realms, not simply one.” He looked at the staff in his grasp. “Had she have been a son, she would have been terrifying.” Thor was about to say something when he saw his father inhaled deeply in a manner that always meant he was about to say more. “A warrior for an heir and a seidr-wielding assassin as his highest general, it would have been terrifying.” “The Norns knew it would have been too much,” Frigga commented. “She seemed to have little issue with Gungnir.”

Odin looked at his staff, something he could never remember fighting without since the day his father Bor died and it was placed in his hands as his successor. “Yes, so it would seem.” His voice was distant as he did so, telling Frigga that he was thinking of something in his own head. 

[bennydwight]

Bondmates- A FordxOC Oneshot

I’ve never put a story directly onto tumblr before, but I don’t feel right putting this on my fanfiction page until Dakota’s story is fully published, so I suppose I’ll just throw it into the ether here.

Bondmark: A distinguishing mark, feature, or otherwise occurrence for an individual hinting to the identity of their perfect match

~~~

Dakota is nearly twelve when her bondmark manifests; earlier than most, but not unheard of.

She wakes up one morning to see a stripe of swirling colour on the inside of her left wrist, a vortex of tangerine and bright purple, shifting in and out of intensity as the day progresses. She's so excited, and jitteringly nervous too, for some reason, running down to show her parents right away. They say after school they can celebrate!

She's just gotten home from school when the galaxy on her wrist washes deep, deep crimson, and she's hit by a wave of rage so thick and relentless that she's broken three plates before it ebbs. Her parents send her to bed, the celebration cut short.

In the days that follow, her wrist fades to a numb grey, and Dakota sinks into a bone-deep depression.

Her parents take her to see a therapist.

~

Twenty-five year old Stanford has accepted by now that his bondmark won't manifest.

Logic and studies show that ninety-nine percent of people receive their bondmark before their twentieth birthday, and less than 0.01 of the remaining one percent go through life without their bondmark ever making an appearance. Ford makes peace with that, just another way he's a freak. An outsider.

During a class on calculus, a song gets stuck in Ford's head. It sticks around for hours and all attempts to drown it out are futile.

It takes a week for Ford to realize that the voice in his head isn't one he's ever heard before.

~

Dakota knows two things about her bondmate:

One - They're emotionally connected somehow.

The colours on her wrist are quickly identified to reflect the feelings of her bondmate, different colours representing different emotions. If he (she assumes it's a he) feels something strongly enough, Dakota will feel it too. She starts to differentiate which are her emotions are which are his by the taste: hers are tasteless, but his leave a sour taste in the back of her throat, like she'd just drank milk.

Her therapist offers a coping solution during her first sessions. Art or music, something to make her happy when his negativity threatens to overwhelm her. She chooses singing.

She's twenty when he starts to respond.

Two - He's slightly stunted, in her opinion.

His deep emotion affects her in a way, but he ever since those first few weeks, he hasn't felt anything deeply at all. But she develops a habit of keeping an eye on the colours shifting on her wrist and singing to match them. In his sadness, she sings brightly, and the cloudy blue on her skin lightens to a more cheery eggshell. When he's anxious, she learns slow, ancient songs in odd languages. In his anger, she sings soothing melodies from her childhood.

She hopes it's because they're a bondmatch, and her mood influences him as well.

~

Ford knows two things about his bondmate:

One - They're emotionally connected somehow.

He realizes within a week that she knows what he's thinking to some degree. Her songs change to equal or balance what thoughts weigh in his head. During his exams, she sings almost exclusively in Latin, which spurns a desire to learn the language so he knows what she's saying.

He sings back once, his name and age in a simple melody, to see if they are a bondmatch, but she doesn't respond. That's alright, he tells himself, bondmatches happen once in every five hundred thousand. He's just happy to have a bond at all.

Two - She's an alto.

If her screechy attempts at a high C are any indicator. Fiddleford gets very concerned one day after he right near jumps out of his skin at the murderous scream resounding through his skull.

His initial annoyance vanishes under the next line, as she sings about how awful that note was to the original tune of the song.

He smiles for real for the first time in what seems like forever.

Fiddleford gives him an odd look, but doesn't press further, and Ford is grateful for it.

~

Dakota's bondmate is more frustrated than normal today.

The mark on her wrist has been a steady, dulled burgundy all morning, and the back of her mouth stings under the sour taste of his emotion.

She tries singing something to cheer herself up, a German celebratory song with a catchy chorus.

The taste in her mouth intensifies, and her mark is shot through with an angrier, burnt rust as his frustration turns to outright irritation.

She stops singing. It's not making her feel better anyway.

~

Ford can't concentrate.

This quantum mechanics test has been the hardest he's ever encountered thus far, and he pulled an all-nighter to study. Sleepless, running on coffee, and nerves about the test are bad enough.

Halfway through question three, his bondmate starts singing something raucous.

On any other day, Ford might meet the cheerful tune with a smile, but he's trying to focus. The moment he's sure he'll have an outburst if she continues any longer, she stops.

The test is over in an hour, but she doesn't sing again for the rest of the day.

~

Dakota is finding more and more recently that her bondmate is keeping odd hours.

She wakes up at three AM to find her wrist vibrating in swirls of thrilled lemon and inspired peach. His anticipation is tangible. What's got him so excited so late?

She sings softly, trying to lift her own spirits, but she can't stop the unwelcome thought. What if someone else is making him so excited so late?

The notes are cheerful, but the words are melancholy.

~

Ford glances up from the chess board as lilting notes drift across his mindscape in an odd, echoing quality. His partner notices his grin, gaze shifting upwards to follow Ford's, though the song seems to emanate from the very essence of the vast expanse of Ford's mind. "What's that?"

"My bondmate." Ford is pleased she's up so late, his friend has never yet gotten the pleasure of hearing one of her songs. She's picked a good one, and it serves to lift Ford's already bright mood.

"Oh yeah, that old ritual." Bill moves his pawn. "Seems a little distracting, don't you think?"

Ford looks to the 'sky', his smile fading. Maybe it is...

~

Dakota hasn't slept well in months.

What started as a few odd days, wrist fading to colours she's never seen him experience, turns into weeks of deepening anxiety, marked by tangerine spots so intense they're almost white, and an ugly charcoal gray. She gets twitchy and restless, like there's something she should be doing. The taste of his emotion starts small, but eventually she can't stand most food for the sour taste in her mouth.

She knows these feelings aren't hers, but it doesn't make falling asleep any easier.

She sings herself French lullabies, but they don't help her much.

~

Ford has to find a way to stop him.

Ford doesn't have a way to stop him.

Ford can't fall asleep until he finds a way to stop him!

His bondmate has other ideas. Her soft voice cuts through the mess of paranoia and fear in his brain, stilling his thoughts. No! He can't stop! No matter how tired his eyes are, or how comforting her voice is...

Ford falls asleep to foreign lullabies -

"Well, what do you know! Your better half is good for something after all!"

- And wakes up to three fractured ribs and forearms scored with hundreds of leaking cuts.

~

Dakota is at a conference when she first feels it.

The first surge of terror is brushed off, she's used to it by now, though she does still worry about her bondmate. But the anger that follows, so blood red it practically glows, prompts her to leave the conference hall and seek a secluded corner where the chances of her breaking something reduced drastically. He hasn't been healthy for a long time, but this time it's different.

Something is wrong.

She stares at her wrist, in its pulsing reds, and downs the rest of her champagne to try to rid herself of his sour taste. It's all she can do to stand there and feel.

Something sparks on the stripe of colour, a tiny burst of the darkest gray she'd ever seen. Rapidly, the gray overcomes the blood, and Dakota is struck by a panic that reverberates to the very core of her being.

Something is wrong!

It's brief, but the sheer scope makes it seem like the shock is drawn out forever.

Then, nothing.

It's as if the air conditioner has been shut off, and you find yourself in a house that's deafeningly silent. A constant, gentle stream of emotion Dakota has felt since she was eleven ebbed in an instant. She feels some horrific being has reached down her throat and yanked out her very core, leaving her nothing but a hollow shell.

Her boss finds her some time later, in the fetal position against the wall.

Somewhere, somehow, she registers the stripe on her wrist has gone completely black.

~

Ford doesn't have much time to think the moment he enters the nightmare realm. Survival takes precedence.

He's occupied for the next standard week trying to devise a way to defeat Bill.

It takes him a month before he has enough downtime to realize he hasn't heard singing once since he became trapped.

It takes him another three years to come to terms with the fact that he'll never hear her again.

He wants so badly to quietly break down somewhere. If Bill finds him, so be it. But he quashes the impulse. He has work to do.

~

Dakota doesn't sing for years after her bond dies.

She started singing to cope with his feelings, and now there's no reason to.

~

Ford turns and leaves without a word.

The hospitable Urarians are confused. Why would the best choir on the planet cause their guest to react this way?

~

Thirty years pass.

Dakota is humming tunelessly as she cooks bacon, but her breath stops as her chest explodes in anger.

The force causes her to stumble, grasping the counter for balance. Saliva gathers in her mouth to combat the sudden sour sensation. She can barely breathe for the rage, eyesight going blurry.

And then she can't breathe for the tears.

Because the stripe on her wrist is glaring blessed crimson.

~

Thirty years and a day pass.

Ford lays down on the couch, arm covering his eyes. He's back. He's back.

Somewhere, a song comes on, and Ford is just about to shout at Stanley to turn the radio down when his chest constricts.

The voice is in his head.

After thirty years of silence, he can no longer contain his sobs, but his grief pales in comparison to his pure relief.

She's back. She's back.

~

Dakota lowers her hand. "My wrist changes colours with what he's feeling."

They peer closely at the gentle pink etched onto her skin, just a shade grayer than her usual complexion. She smiles at their interest. Neither of the twins have their bondmark yet, and Mabel was practically bursting with excitement at meeting someone whose mark was physical. She'd asked to see it nearly as soon as Dakota sat down. Bondmarks are precious to some people, but Dakota has never been shy about sharing hers.

"How do you know what he's feeling?" Dipper asked, one hand on his chin. So much like his great uncle.

"Lots of practice," she answers. "This pink colour shows up when he's generally content. And see this?" She points to an olive streak slowly circling the perimeter of the mark. "He's a little under the weather right now, but it's small enough that it's only at the back of his mind and doesn't bother him much."

"And you can feel him, too?" Mabel asks, her grin like the sun.

Dakota laughs at her enthusiasm. "Only sometimes."

Dipper and Mabel perk up for a second, eyes darting deeper into the Mystery Shack, but Dakota is distracted. "Ah! See that?" The twins turn back just in time to see the blood orange starburst fade back into dusty pink. "He just got annoyed at something. But now he's okay again."

The twins make joined impressed sounds. Dipper looks at her with those huge doe-eyes of his. "It must have taken a long time to learn everything he's feeling."

"It did. But he's worth it."

~

Ford catches the sneeze in one fist, but it jerks the rest of his body enough to startle Mable. She turns from where she sits on the floor, knitting in her lap and back pressed against Ford's shins, and gives him a look. "Are you getting sick, Grunkle Ford?"

He sniffles. As much as he hates to admit it, but he can't lie to that face. "Maybe a little. But it's not too bad. I hardly notice it."

The frantic pen scratching on Ford's right stills. "Would you say you're a little under the weather, but it's small enough that it's only at the back of your mind?"

Dipper's words elicit a little gasp from Mabel, and he looks back and forth between the twins, blinking in confusion. Dipper stares back with a raised eyebrow, and if Mabel smiles any wider her head will split in half.

"Er, yes, that's a concise way of putting it. Why?"

Dipper goes back to scribbling in his journal, but a ghost of a smile haunts his face now. "No reason."

Ford looks to Mabel. She's turned back to the tv, but there's an excited pull to her shoulders. In a brief moment between commercials, when the screen goes dark, Ford catches her reflection and her grin has not faltered one bit.

~

Dakota can hardly breathe for the claws wrapped around her waist, trapping her arms against her chest. She tries to stay calm. Wild animals could sense panic, and she's no troll expert, but she didn't doubt the hulking beast could sense something from her. The stripe on her wrist swirls charcoal, a colour she's barely seen since the incident thirty years prior, and she wonders if her own fear is feeding back to her bondmate.

She whispers a silent apology to him, wherever he may be.

The troll opens its mouth to drop her inside, but Ford bursts from behind a stalagmite, blaster raised. "Let her go, you hairy heathen!"

She can feel the resonating determination pulse through her chest, and by chance she glances at her wrist again. The charcoal ripples outwards, arcing through with rings of rich wine. Ford fires once, twice, at the beast, and Dakota is so transfixed by the spreading wine colour that she doesn't feel herself falling until she's hit the ground.

The troll retreats, whining, and Ford makes sure it's gone before rushing to her side, hands hovering over her. Never actually touching her. "Are you alright? Is anything hurt?"

She can't answer. Can't do anything other than stare at her wrist. The stripe is shot through with mist and gold.

"Dakota, answer me!"

She says she's fine, smiling to reassure him, but she can't ignore the rapid beat of her heart. When he verifies her safety for himself, she asks. "Ford, what are you feeling right now?"

Though initially taken aback, Ford recovers quickly with a soft smile. "Relieved."

The gentle lavender on her skin proves it.

~

Ford has a lot of catching up to do in terms of music, and Dakota seems to be the right person to help with that, but he finds himself bashful when she asks his favourite songs since so many of them are out of date.

They spend an afternoon not monster hunting, as usual, but sitting in his parlour with a laptop, taking turns showing each other songs. He feels a little better with his music choice after Dakota reveals her own odd tastes in foreign music.

He feels like he's heard some of them before.

~

Dakota stares at the gentle pattern of dusty pink and brighter rose on the inside of her wrist. She's found her bondmate, she thinks. But he hasn't given one clue as to whether she's his too. Or not. Or even if he has a bondmark. It's an unspoken rule that one doesn't ask about another's bondmark unless the information is supplied willingly, and Dakota hates the thought of relinquishing her budding relationship with Ford because she's impulsive. He might not even have a bondmark.

If he doesn't, that's fine.

She doesn't want to think about the other option.

~

Ford settles into bed with a happy sigh, ready for the evening end. It has been an increasingly delightful part of his day, as he finds his bondmate has been singing some of his favourites every night. He wonders if she has a connection to his music too, or if it's just a common interest. Either way, being lulled to sleep by those songs has become something to look forward to, and it's been a consistent concerto every night for nearly two weeks.

He shifts under the covers, closing his eyes.

But sleep doesn't come.

Because neither does her singing.

~

Dakota is hyperaware of Ford's presence next to hers as the Pines family (plus her, plus Mabel's friends, plus the handyman and the cashier) participates in their weekly movie night. She can't concentrate on the movie, too focused on her wrist and the uneven pulses of navy blue and slate.

She leans over and whispers, "Ford, what are you feeling right now?"

He thinks about it for a moment before answering.

She wonders why he's lying.

~

Ford can't concentrate on the movie.

Another week without a peep from his bondmate has sent him into a deep-seated worry. Has something happened? Is she okay? Not knowing is driving him to madness.

When Dakota leans over and whispers the query, he doesn't question it. She's been asking it periodically for a few weeks now, and he's chalked it up to nothing more than a new habit. She's staring at him with an expression he can't place, rubbing one thumb up and down the stripe of colour on her wrist. It seems active, but Ford can't tell what colours burst forth from her skin in this light.

He's often wondered at her bondmate. He doesn't know what the colours represent, but he knows they're very important to her. He's caught her staring steadfastedly at her wrist for minutes at a time, but hasn't asked. She may just not have found hers yet. Or, a more unpleasant possibility, she might be harbouring a dead bond.

His time in the portal flows back to him. He wouldn't wish a dead bond on anyone.

But he can't assume, so best to keep away from touchy subjects. He gives her the best smile he can muster. "Happy and content."

Her face makes him regret lying.

~

Dakota can find only one explanation for this.

The unthinkable has happened, and her bondmark is unrequited.

It's rare, rarer even than bondmatches, but occasionally a person manifests a bondmark towards a person who does not reciprocate. It's awful, its psychologically damaging, but Dakota has lasted this long without her bondmate and she can continue doing so. She's lucky enough to know him well as a friend, and cares about him enough not to bring up the fact of her bondmark, and if he finds happiness in the end isn't that all a bondmate could ask for?

She convinces herself of this, convinces herself she feels better, but not even every song in the world could make her feel better. So she doesn't try.

~

Ford is so distracted by his mounting worry that he doesn't even realize it's raining until his glasses are coated in fat, wet drops.

Next to him, Dakota shrieks, though he thinks it may be in delight. He's glad. There was a period of time where they barely saw each other, and when they did, Dakota seemed more subdued than normal. But whatever is plaguing her seems to be wearing off, and he's immensely glad. He's missed his friend.

Just like he misses his bondmate.

She hasn't sung to him in over a week. There have been silences before, but never this... heavy.

He and Dakota rush into the Mystery Shack, sopping wet and laughing, though Ford worries his sounds slightly flat. If Dakota notices it, she doesn't mention it.

She tosses her camera bag on the table, then heads upstairs to shower off the downpour. Ford smiles until she vanishes, then lets it drop. He likes Dakota, but not even her company in monster hunting can replace the comfort he never realized he got from his bondmate's songs.  

Dakota starts singing from upstairs, and Ford frowns. Slaps the side of his head with one hand, metal plate giving a dull clang as he does. It sounds like he's hearing two slightly different variations on the same song. Is he picking up interference...?

His heart stops.

No.

But yes.

He's in the Mystery Shack gift shop before he can realize his legs are moving, out of earshot from the upstairs shower. He knows the song that's being sung, knows where in the verse Dakota should be, matching up perfectly to the version he hears in his head.

It matches.

His legs are moving again, thudding rapidly up the stairs to pound on the bathroom door. He feels like he's going to laugh, or cry, or throw up.

Dakota opens the door in her shorts and tank top, still drenched in rainwater, the steam from the shower rising up and framing her like an angel walking out of heaven's clouds. Her left arm rests on the door, giving Ford a perfect view of the churning colours on her skin.

It looks exactly how Ford feels.

 END

[readingsbylibramc]

birth chart reading for @otter-girl

hello! welcome to your reading. I’m gonna give you a quick overview of what I’m going to analyze about your natal chart. feel free to ask me anything if something isn’t clear, of course. you’ll find out your dominants’ influence on your persona, your physical appearance, impression on others and the way you approach the world; your ego, identity, the real you; your reactions, your desires, inner emotions; your way of expressing your feelings, your mind and ideas; your desires and approach to love; your energy tank, instincts and temperament; in-depth analysis of each house with their rulers and analysis of heavy aspects; love life + soulmates/karmic partners interpretation; your relationship with your friends; your family life; your approach to career and work in general + possible jobs suggestion; your style, fashion sense analysis; life purpose and past life description; basic transits’ analysis to describe your current mood and, last but not least, your secret skills, how to make the most out of your soul and manifest what you desire based on your birth chart.

🦋 chart shape, dominants

your chart is a locomotive shape. this means that you're a very ambitious person, with a lot of energy. mars has a big influence on you, and your life revolves around understanding your needs and achieving your goals. the empty part of your life is what you have to develop, hence your reputation, career life and also your routine and health.

your dominant planets are venus, uranus and the moon. you may be a bit unpredictable and have frequent mood swings, you're probably easily influenced by others. you are very creative, though! you are able to come up with many innovative ideas, and you're probably drawn to artistic outlets such as writing, dancing, singing, etc.

your dominant sign is libra. you're overall a peaceful person, you try to avoid conflicts if possible, even though sometimes you could have a sharp tongue. you're a romantic person, maybe too much. you hold unrealistic expectations of people, hence you often get disappointed when things don't turn out the way you thought. you're able to see both sides of an argument, and that's both good and bad. in fact, you're very objective, and most probably your opinions are right; yet, it may be annoying for people that are venting to you, as you could constantly point out their mistakes, even though you don't do it out of malice.

your dominant element is air. in your life, you adore seeking for knowledge of any kind. you may be interested in studying different subjects, from those you study at school like science, maths, literature etc. to more unconventional ones, such as astrology, psychology, criminology and so on. you enjoy interacting with people; even if you’re not that sociable, you’ll still be interested in their point of view and their ideals, as you see it as a way to expand your own mind. you’re also interested in vintage, and you may have a retro aesthetic or just like history in general.

🌎 ascendant in libra, 8° / 1st decan ruled by venus

you're naturally likeable, you have a particular charm to you that makes everyone drool over you. you're very nice and outgoing, you always try to make others feel at ease. you're very considerate of others' feelings. you strive for fairness and justice, it's the way you approach others and the world. basically, you treat others like they treat you: if they're kind with you, you'll be very sweet. otherwise, you'll turn very sarcastic and harsh, almost cold at a certain point. this can make you seem extremely provocative, especially with your aries moon-scorpio sun. you're very opinionated, you always feel the need to express your thoughts as you're very proud of them. in addition, since you always decide whether something is right or not, you may come off as a know-it-all. on the other hand, you're very sociable and you enjoy being in company, doesn't matter whether you're with your family, friends, lover etc. you may get to know many people throughout your life, but your friendships may not be much stable. you are surrounded by people, but you could feel lonely particularly often. I also need to point out that libra is ruled by venus, the planet of beauty. you're most likely very attractive and magnetic. even if not necessarily conventionally, people find themselves attracted to you. you may have sparkling doe eyes, with also full lips and a defined cupid's bow. your face is more on the longer side, perhaps you have an heart-shaped face, with high cheekbones and a pointy chin. you may also have naturally amazing, fluffy and flowing hair. your body is also very feminine, with a lot of curves and softness to it. it's very romantic, to sum up. also, your hair is probably naturally beautiful; it could be curly, or at least it's very thick and healthy-looking, even if you don't take much care of it.

libra ascendant opposite aries moon: you may have troubles understanding others’ real feelings for you. you may feel as if everyone hates you, like everyone is talking behind your back when it’s the opposite. the ascendant being in libra doens’t help either, as this aspect enhances its trust issues even more. you’re particularly sensitive about others’ view and opinion of you, you may get deeply hurt when people criticize you. you could have the tendency to act differently than you usually do, in order to preserve your feelings. this is obviously a toxic behaviour, that fills you up with your own stress and doubles it. due to that, you may become very moody and nervous, ending up hurting others yourself. or maybe, it’s the other way around; your feelings are so overwhelming that you can’t hide them, and that could put you in embarrassing, unpleasant situations. you may show all of your emotions on your face, ready to be read. the way to cope with this placement is finding someone similiar to you; someone who’s trust-worthy, and very sensitive and empathetic too. someone who’d never judge you for you think or say, and that would always help you becoming the best version of yourself. someone that understands you, without having to explain all of your behaviours and habits.

libra ascendant conjunct libra mars: this placement makes your libra rising less soft. your approach to the world is spontaneous, you don't like thinking before acting. you don't really do this with malice, though; you're just very honest. even though you appear really confident to others, you may find yourself feeling a little insecure. that comes from the fact that you're a perfectionist, even though you want to be perfect to show it to others rather than for yourself. hence, you feel pressured. even though you may appear as rude, once you get to know someone you truly care about you're willing to control yourself, just for them. that's how far you'd go for someone you love. physically, people with mars conjunct the ascendant are usually very fast, active and athletic in general. you may walk fast, and you have quick reflexes. you're probably fit; even if you're overweight, your body will still look good, with a nice and toned structure. you may have strong, sharp, almost 'masculine' features: thin lips, thick eyebrows and lashes, broad shoulders, sharp nose... stuff like that.

🌞 sun in scorpio, 17° / 2nd decan ruled by pluto and neptune

you're quite of a loner, you prefer spending time alone rather than with others. you're extremely intuitive, and you can read people like a book; they can't lie or keep secrets from you, you'll surely find out. you're pretty charismatic, and paired with your wise intellect it's hard not to agree with your ideas, especially considering that your moon is in aries. you're basically a leader, a very demanding one. you have high standards regarding everything: clothes, food, goals, people... you're always striving for the best, you don't want to settle down. on the other hand, even though it may take you a while to find someone worth of your affection, once that someone shows up you'll stay with them forever. you're deeply loyal, and also caring in your own way. that's because you value feelings, you can easily smell when someone isn't trustworthy. you're probably very protective of your friends and loved ones in general, sometimes even too much. this could even escalate and become a more serious issue, as scorpio is also the planet of obsession, after all. it's common for you to feel your emotions x2, as they're too intense to handle. you know everything about others, but you don't show off and gossip about it. actually, you keep the info for yourself and use it when you need it.

🌙 moon in aries, 14° / 2nd decan ruled by mars and mercury

you aim for greatness. this is where your strong desire to be the #1 comes from, pretty much. you're very proud of yourself, and you don't like to acknowledge your mistakes. you always want to look like you have your life together, even in certain moments when you feel lost. I would say that this is a sort of self-sabotaging mechanism, as you can literally go as far as forcing a smile if it shows the world that you can stand by yourself. overall, I would say you deal with your emotions in a very 'child-like' way; after all, aries is pretty self-centered. you tend to preserve yourself more, unless someone really special to you is involved. in fact, aries moon makes you really protective of your loved and trusted ones, even though they're not many because of your high standards. you're also very honest, you speak from your heart. while it's a positive trait, you may be too blunt and ruin your relationships because of that. you're both smart and fast, hence you may get annoyed when people mishear or misunderstand your words.

🗣 mercury in scorpio, 0° / 1st decan ruled by pluto

you're extremely blunt and straight-forward, you may actually hurt people with your words. you probably lack diplomacy, and you're very realistic. the thing is, you speak the truth, but not everyone can accept it. that's why your behaviour is so controversial. though, since you also have a libra rising, I assume you could manifest this side of you only when you react by impulse, when you're angry. otherwise, you try to be as well-spoken as possible. you speak fluent sarcasm, and that could annoy people who don't understand your sense of humor. you're probably good at lying, and even manipulating people. you may often make others change their mind just with your own words, but be careful not to use this skill to hurt others, or you'll only experience a sense of guilt and overall the bad sides of it. on the other hand, you're an extremely captivating speaker, you'd be successful at anything that involves the use of words and voice. you're truly intuitive, and it's easy for you to understand when someone is being honest or is lying to you. last but not least, you're very secretive as well. you're probably the type to know everything and anything about others, while you remain a mystery.

❤️ venus in sagittarius, 25° / 3rd decan ruled by jupiter and the sun

people may consider you flaky, as you value freedom above all. you may be the type that likes making new experiences regarding love, and you often date your crushes. yet, you feel too limited in a relationship. you don't enjoy committing to someone if that someone isn't perfect for you, you're only completely loyal to the one you consider your true love. you can't give up your freedom, your thirst for adventure and experiences for someone else. basically, your ideal partner would be a risk-taker, someone loyal but not too clingy, that is down to go on a road trip in every moment. someone impulsive, that could help you stepping out of your comfort-zone. you're probably into those youthful love stereotypes, e.g. high school dates. you want your relationships to be filled with excitement, you despise boring, traditional and cheesy things. you may also find yourself being attracted to unavailable people; that is, you could fall for people that are already taken, or maybe they're physically unavailable, e.g they live abroad or in another city in general. you're also attracted to foreigners, and people that have a wise, yet bubbly aura around them.

sagittarius venus square libra mars: this placement most likely gives you a short-temper. you may have lots of friends or lots of romantic partners, but you may find yourself being often irritated by them. you could argue with others over petty things, and this could affect your relationships significantly. at the same time, you enjoy fun, exciting relationships. you're the type who's looking for a risktaker, even dangerous partner. you hate boredom, and this may be your weakness regarding this placement; that is, once the relationship starts getting more serious, you feel as if it's going down, when it's actually the opposite. hence, you just run towards a new adventure. with this placement, what you need is learning to open up and being honest without being too blunt. you need to talk about your feelings, you can't bottle them up, but be careful not to sound rude, don't be too impulsive. because of your nature, the perfect partner for you would be someone mature, confident and empathetic that will understand you and won't get hurt by your words.

☄️ mars in libra, 3° / 1st decan ruled by venus

there’s this stereotype that libra mars people are passive-aggressive. it may be true, but only partially. in fact, you try to avoid conflicts exclusively when you’re in public, or maybe with someone you don’t know well. in that case, you can eventually try to avoid the problem. with people you’re close to, you’re pretty much the opposite. you may say the worst of things that you probably don’t even feel, you may even have the istinct to throw hands. you’re driven by a strong sense of justice, and you probably were the class’ snitch during daycare/primary school. you also strive for equality, hence you may get very defensive when it comes to proving your innocence, or just really anyone’s. overall, you’re a fair person with strong morals, who acts based on the situation you’re in.

🏡 houses

your 1st house is in libra. you always try to be kind and friendly with people you don't know; you most likely don’t like conflicts, you prefer avoiding them, even though you may have some troubles with that due to your impulsive and fiery aries moon. you probably care a lot about your appearance, and because of that you could get insecure from time to time. usually, people with libra in their 1st house look for themselves in others, as their chart is basically upside down. yet, since you have mars conjunct the ascendant, you don’t depend on others as much as other libra risings. you’re still a free-spirit, you’re able to stand up and you come off as more fierce than the typical libra ascendant. you also have your scorpio mercury in this house; you enjoy communicating and intellectualism. you’re very curious about everything that surrounds you. you love expanding your knowledge, ideas and mind in general through communication, interactions and media. you have the ability to adapt quickly to new situations; your mind is fast, usually impulsive, and you are able to come up with new ideas and solutions quickly. since you’re constantly mentally active, physically you may also tend to play with your fingers or hair, or maybe you tend to gesticulate while you speak.

your 2nd house is in scorpio, with also your sun placed there. this placement can make you seem a bit selfish. in fact, you’re extremely possessive of your possessions, you don’t want to share them with others. there’s a lot of karma around your finances. in fact, if you’re too stingy, it may bite your butt. you need to give in order to receive, so I’d suggest you to share your things more with others. you could share a meal with a friend, for example. you’ll surely get something positive back from it. your finances may not be stable either; they are in constant change, and while this placement can make you earn quite a great amount of money, it can also make you lose everything you have. no inbetweens. the 2nd house is also about self-esteem, your relationship with your appearance. you have contrasting feelings about it; some days, you’re very confident. other days, you hate yourself. you may find flaws in every single picture you take or every pants you try on. it’s a very intense placement, as you may often feel as if you need to change your appearance in order to love yourself. based on other placements in your chart, it could manifest in spending money in a new wardrobe for example, as you feel like changing your style would help you boost your self-confidence.

your 3rd house is in sagittarius, with also your pluto, chiron and venus placed there. this is an amazing placement for a writer! you’re extremely open-minded and philosophical. you’d probably do great at poetry or just literature in general. you’re thirsty for knowledge, you aspire to learn everything you can, you enjoy being smart and educated. you most likely love comedy, and you have an amazing sense of humor yourself, you’re able to light up the room and make everyone burst into laughter even if you don’t mean to. you’re also very intelligent, you’re able to memorize things fast and you’re also a fast-learner. you may be less into gossips than other libras, as you’re very benevolent and considerate of others’ feelings. in addition, you’re able to see the good in everyone, there’s no reason for you to talk behind someone’s back. actually, it’s the opposite. you’re quite impulsive, you say things as they are. pluto here makes you extremely mysterious; you may like diving into dark topics, such as horror and crimes, or even witchy things such as astrology, crystals, tarots, etc. you may be good at keeping secrets, and you could often find people opening up to you. basically, you know everything about everyone, but others know nothing about you. chiron here indicates that you're probably insecure about the way you speak; you could stutter for example, or maybe you feel insecure about your voice. it could also be that you weren't that good in school, you probably learned better by yourself than in groups.

your 4th house is in capricorn, with also neptune placed there. I can tell that your childhood was quite complex. not necessarily bad, I don't see any kind of trauma, but you probably had to grow up way sooner than other kids. your parents could have been very hard-working and focused on their jobs, possibly wealthy too. they were very responsible and cared a lot about you, they always made sure you had everything you needed, even though they could have been slightly absent from time to time due to their jobs. people with a capricorn ic usually find something missing in their childhood, they had to deal with responsibilities from a young age. it could even be that you started working when you were still a teen, or maybe you had to take care of the house or of your siblings for them. neptune could have made you a bit more insecure as a child than other capricorn ics. you weren’t much extroverted, you preferred staying in, drawing, playing games etc. possibly, you were also close to arts, you used to express your feelings through creative outlets when you were a child. it could also be that one of your parents may be absent; they could be divorced, or in the worst case they might have died when you were pretty young.

your 5th house is in aquarius, with also your uranus placed there. you’re extremely creative, your ideas are very innovative, and you may have particular hobbies, interests or taste than others. when you’re able to fully express yourself, you gain full security and you start experimenting and inventing new things. you could be the type to start new fashion trends, music styles, art styles… basically, you’re a creative genius. your hobbies may also involve astrology, as well as human studies like psychology, or also anything that has to do with technology. you may be into videogames for example, tv series, social media… they’re your way to spend your free-time and relax. your relationships may also be very unconventional; you could usually date people online, or perhaps you may have the potential to meet someone through dating apps. they’re quite unstable, they may end out of the blue for example. yet, the part of fortune here makes it better; in fact, you’ll be able to achieve the best of your luck through creative outlets. again, if I were in you I’d definitely try writing something! you may also dedicate yourself to fashion, art, music, etc., anything that stimulates your creativity.

your 6th house is in pisces. in your daily life, you hardly ever have a structured schedule. you go with the flow, you take things as they come. you may often have your head in the clouds, you could get distracted easily and you may literally creative oscar-worthy movies in your head instead of doing what you need to do. your job may involve arts, images, possibly even fame. you should definitely use your creative talents for your possible career. also, you could benefit from helping others; you could be a psychologist or therapist of any kind, a nurse… any place where you’re able to help others. again, you could also help others through your art, hence with your lyrics, books, etc. when it comes to diets, workout routines, skincare routines etc. you could lack consistency, even though your libra and aries energy make you more motivated to take care of your appearance. you may sleep a lot, it’s easy for you to feel tired and stressed even when you’re not over-working yourself.

your 7th house is in aries, with also your moon conjunct the descendant. love is most likely not your priority in life. you need independence, and you’re able to stand up for yourself on your own. you don’t need someone else to help you. you tend to attract partners in your life that are hot-headed, stubborn, assertive and goal-oriented. they strive to be the best at everything they do, they’re extremely competitive and willing to do anything to achieve their goals. basically, you attract very dominant partners, but you don’t want to be dominated or controlled. you may often experience power struggles between you and your partner, which cause you issues in every relationship you get in. at the same time, you wouldn’t stand someone too submissive either, as you still need someone that would mentally stimulate you. they may actually be quite selfish and self-centered, they’ll care more about their own development rather than that of you two as a couple. an aries 7th house indicates that while you’ll have a very active, passionate spouse, you may also experience lots of arguments and discussions in your marriage life, perhaps even physical violence in the worst case. your moon here luckily makes things better; while you may often experience power-struggles with your partners, you most likely attract very empathetic and nurturing people as well that could help you with your temper.

your 8th house is in taurus, with also saturn sitting there. you have the most stable, stubborn sign in a house that requires constant change. you probably hate changing your routine and stepping out of your comfort zone. changes are hard for you to accept; you find it hard to change job all of a sudden for example, or even letting go of a toxic friend of yours can be stressful for you. also, you could be quite materialistic and fond of material possessions, causing you to be a bit too stingy, which isn’t good for your karma. another reason that this house contrasts with your 2nd house in scorpio is that you feel like you constantly need to change, but ironically slow taurus makes your changes way slower than usual. sometimes, when they happen, they’re so subtle that you probably can’t even see them or at least notice them at first. saturn here indicates that you struggle to open up; it may take you a while to get intimate with someone, not just physically but also mentally. you're very private, and you probably have trust issues as well, it's hard for you to trust people. as a result, your bonds with others could be a bit superficial. but luckily, as you grow mature, you'll be able to work out this problem and feel more comfortable with others.

your 9th house is in gemini, with also jupiter placed there. gemini in the 9th house cusp usually makes people a bit close-minded, as they are very logical and careful in their approach to the world. you may change your ideas and opinions quite quickly, to the point that you could seem unconsistent. when learning new things, you like exploring different matters and subject, from maths to literature, but you may struggle to focus on only one. as a result, you may lack precision. luckily, jupiter here is its natural place and helps you dealing with this placement; you're probably a fast-learner and you're very witty and curious, you like learning about anything you can. you probably like studying, not necessarily at school but studying in general, and you may also be skilled at foreign languages. you could also be interested in foreign matters, such as cultures, music, etc.

your 10th house is in cancer. your career needs to be private. that doesn’t mean that you can’t become famous of course, but you prefer being more hidden at work, you may even work from home or from a young age. many celebrities with this placement, in fact, started working when they were still young. also, cancer indicates that your future job will give you the opportunity to express and / or deal with your / others’ feelings and emotions, and considering that the ruler of this house, the moon, is in the 7th house, I can see you working with other people. you could become a teacher, a counselor, as well as a nurse, a therapist… anything that allows you to express your emotions while also helping others is suitable for you. you could possibly also choose the same career as your parents, or you may handle the family’s business for example. you could also end up doing the job of your childhood dreams. you feel the need to pursue a meaningful career in your life, you want to feel emotionally connected to it. you don’t only want something that allows you to earn money, you also want to gain wisdom and maturity from a job, and hence you could even be a bit picky in choosing your future career.

your 11th house is in leo. with this placement, you’re probably very popular among your friends, you’re most likely the most talkative or funniest member of your group. you may also attract very popular people yourself in your friendships, perhaps even celebrities. possibly, you could even make friends that allow you to gain recognition and / or popularity, doesn’t matter whether it’s in school, job, etc. you could also have very big dreams for your future, probably regarding your career and finances. you most likely aspire to be wealthy and financially independent, you are very hard-working and possibly even a bit materialistic.

your 12th house is in virgo. this is another placement that indicates that you are an amazing writer! in fact, the 12th house is about secret skills too, and virgo is ruled by mercury, the planet of communication. you do the math. with this placement, though, I feel like you may feel restricted from pursuing your goals, or even a career in the public eye, as you’re quite sensitive to others’ criticism about you. you strive to be perfect all the time, and your libra rising wants to constantly have a nice reputation. a scandal, or even simple haters, would probably be the end of you. you also have venus placed here, meaning that deep down, you actually crave affection from someone else. yet, you may be afraid, or perhaps too shy to approach a possible partner. but remember, the 12th house is also the house of secret talents! in fact, especially with your libra rising, you’re extremely likeable. you shouldn’t be afraid of not being liked back, for example. remember that your love life will get better with time, as you become more mature in that field. mars is also placed in this house; with this placement, I assume that you may struggle to take action. you may try to avoid conflicts at all costs, to the point that you could actually start victimizing yourself. you could struggle to accomplish your goals, you try to be productive but you may get lazy and procrastinate very often.

❤️ love life, soulmates

in love you attract aries, cancer, gemini, sagittarius and libra placements. your future spouse will most likely have aquarius and gemini traits placements; they’ll be very similiar to you: bold and confident, but also with a warm heart and a hidden insecurity to them. you may meet them in a place near water, so maybe at the sea or near a lake. you may also meet them in a church, in a temple or any place related to spirituality. you could see them first in your dreams, or perhaps you're going to meet at a hospital or at the doctor's. also, your spouse will most likely be one of your soulmates, and hence once you meet them you’ll probably have this ‘I’ve already seen you before’ feeling. they’ll seem very familiar, and you’ll find emotional comfort in them. your children will have strong aquarius, possibly capricorn placements. they’ll be very dreamy, they’ll have big goals for their life, and they’ll also be extremely intelligent and creative as well.

👶🏻 family life

your father is probably a very caring person that knows how to stand up for himself when he has to, but he may struggle to do that. he’s very smart, caring and optimistic, even though he may be a bit childish at times. he could have cancer placements in his chart, possibly aries too. your mother, on the other hand, is a bit more serious and focused on work, but she always made sure you always had what you needed. she was probably the strict parent in the family, but she still has some sweetness and nice humor to her. also, she may have capricorn, aquarius, pisces or taurus placements in her chart. if you have siblings, they most likely have sagittarius, taurus, scorpio and / or libra placements in their chart. they could be foreign or skilled at foreign languages, and you may feel very at ease with them. you have an amazing bond with them, you’re able to both relax and have fun together, even though you may discuss often. you could have been very jealous of each other when you were kids, maybe.

📊 career

as I've already mentioned above, you're going to pursue a career that will allow you to interact with others. you would probably do amazing at a job that requires you to help people, you could make a great nurse or psychologist for instance. you may also work as a teacher of any kind, not necessarily a professor or school teacher. you may also become a chief or a boss in your job, since the ruler of your midheaven (career), the moon, is in the sign of aries, the leader sign. I definitely see you being successful in whatever you choose, you could become very independant and financially stable thanks to your job. possibly, you may also have a business with your future spouse. you could also work with children or for family, as a counselor for example. anything that allows you to interact with and help others would be great for you, as it would make you more empathetic and sensitive to the external world.

👕 fashion sense, style analysis

your sagittarius energy screams grunge! you probably love 90s/00s aesthetic, with fishnets, black, burgundy, belts, leather jackets... all of this stuff. also, oversized clothes are a must for you. you may especially be fond of wearing tight tops with baggy jeans or viceversa: tight pants, possibly leggins, with big, long sweatshirts and t-shirts. it's very comfortable, but you still make it look trendy and particular with your charisma. you may also love printed things, especially graphic t-shirts. for shoes, I'd say trendy sneakers and boots are a must in your wardrobe.

👁 past life, life purpose

in your past existence, you were very in touch with your home, self, and probably marriage too. overall, your past life was very peaceful, especially when it comes to your family. this lifetime, though, you need to focus on letting the world know who you are. you have to build a reputation for your name and feel satisfied with your career, while still taking care of your family.

🤔 major transits analysis / april 4th

the sun is currently transiting in your aries 7th house, exactly conjunct your moon. you could be feeling very needy lately, perhaps even a bit emotional. you want to be with people, maybe with your loved ones, you feel like you need a lot of care and attention but at the same time you could be quite moody. you may get angry or disappointed easily, so beware of that. jupiter, on the other hand, is in your 5th house; you may be lacking discipline in these days, perhaps you tend to procrastinate as you feel quite tired and you have to relax. of course it's ok to take some time for yourself, but remember to be responsible as well; hard work pays off.

🧿 manifest what you want, secret skills

the best way for you to manifest is idealizing and acting at the same time. you have both energies combined in your chart, which is great actually! I’d suggest you to first picture what you want in your life, and then do something concrete to manifest it. for example, let’s suppose you want this gucci bag; first, think about it deeply. then, you could try going into a gucci shop and just walk around, maybe even touch that bag. you’ll get results if you believe it! it’s also great to write and read/listen your own positive affirmations, such as 'I love my gucci bag’, 'the gucci bag my mom gave me is amazing’ and so on.

and this is the end! thank you again for booking a reading, let me know if it resonated :)

- libramc xx

[angelubasco]

"YOUR MIND AND BODY MATTERS"

-October 28, 2020

Have you ever check upon yourself? Especially your mind and body? And if so, when is the last time you did it? As of now that the worlds facing a pandemic it is important to monitor our mind and body not just on the month of celebration about mental health. Many news are coming out about their physical and mental health to their family and personal problems in life especially those students who are having difficulties on their online classes. There are lots of sayings that this is not good for them as you browse on different social links that is based from their experience and it is sad to say that most students felt depression and anxiety that they killed themselves because their minds are full of pressure about simultaneously deadlines/activities and felt sick beacuse of having a lack of sleep. This is one of the examples I have cited that I wanted to encourage my fellow students to ask themeselves right now this kind of questions, "How healthy is my mind and body?" & "Am I truly happy and enjoying what I am doing?". Because we can't deny somehow we feel lost and empty. That's why it is important to assess if we are still okay about our physical and mental health because both are interconnected as our thoughts affects our physical body.

According to Newport Academy (2019), "The mind and the body are not two separate entities—although they are often treated that way. Physical health and emotional health are intimately intertwined in what’s known as the mind-body connection.

Our chemistry and biology impact our mood and emotions, as well as thoughts and beliefs. With all of these factors combined, they play a major role in influencing our stress and physical health. If you’ve ever felt your stomach tighten up when you were anxious, you’ve experienced the mind-body connection."

If you are one of this kind of students who doesn't have healthy mind and body or who wanted to know how to maintain your mind and body strong and healthy, here are Eight Habits for you according to Valentine (2017).

1. Exercise using something you love

Physical exercise has been shown in countless studies to help reduce stress, increase energy, improve mood, and even help make us more creative.

Great right? However, advice on how to make exercise a habit is a bit lacking. That’s because exercise can be a really difficult habit to stick to. But if there’s one thing I’ve found really helps stick to physical exercise and make it a long-term habit it’s this:

Exercise in a way that allows you to enjoy something you love.

You have to really look forward to working out. Whatever it is that you do, whether it’s running, lifting weights, doing cardio, martial arts, Yoga, or something else, you need to pick an exercise method you really enjoy.

For example, I love martial arts. I’m a lot more likely to stick to my work out while doing that than running or lifting weights. On the flip side, if there’s no particular exercise-like activity you enjoy, maybe you really love music. Play all your favorite music during your workout and you’ll notice yourself far more likely to get up to exercise. Another option is listening to podcasts about your craft while running.

Either way, exercise is a big one, so find a way to make it work for you.

2. Meditation

Meditation is another huge one. However, meditation isn’t really what most people think it is.

If you don’t like the traditional idea of meditation, you can meditate while doing virtually anything if you use the right method (i.e. mindfulness meditation). Also, studies have shown that as little as five to ten minutes of meditation offers great benefits, so don’t think you need to sit for a half hour every day. You really don’t.

Similar to physical exercise, there are several different methods and forms of meditation, so do a little adventuring and experimentation to find a method and form that works for you. Everyone is different and different methods of meditation tend to work better for different people.

3. Mindful walking

This is easily one of my favorite activities on this entire list, but it’s also the most obscure. Mindful walking, also known as walking meditation, is meditation in motion. It can be done formally as a dedicated practice and informally by paying attention to your steps and what is going on around you as you move.

This is great for many of the reasons formal meditation is (albeit less concentrated), however, there’s another big reason to do mindful walking: it helps you tune in to the body.

Sometimes, things occur in the body that we don’t notice. Oftentimes, chronic issues and illness begin to creep up in ways often unseen. However, by learning to tune in to the body with mindful walking, we can notice these things arise before they become more of an issue.

It’s a hard thing to explain, but it’s been infinitely useful to me. In many ways, this one exercise gives us a way to check in with both the mind and body on a regular basis and in an incredibly convenient way while going about our daily activities, so its place on this list is well-earned.

4. Rise early

Rising early is something I took years to develop. However, it was so worth it.

There are positives to staying up late, particularly if you find that you’re more productive or creative during late night hours. However, in general, I’ve found that the majority of people are most productive in the early morning hours.

In addition, though, waking up early and adopting a morning routine that prepares you for the day helps you start each day off with the optimal state of mind to tackle problems and make decisions, something incredibly useful for everyone no matter what your profession.

So, if you’re not already, see what waking up a little earlier does for you.

5. Adopt a nighttime routine

On the flip side of that, adopting an effective night time routine that puts your mind in the right state before bed and helps maximize the quality of your sleep is also incredibly beneficial.

Unfortunately, most of us in the West just don’t value sleep enough. We tend to place work above well-being and prefer to leave sleep for when we die. However, two decades of scientific research now says this isn’t just a bad idea health-wise – it’s unproductive.

Take some time to craft a simple but effective nighttime routine and I promise – you won’t regret it.

6. Remove sugar, add water, get your food from the source

This is the basic recipe I follow when it comes to nutrition advice.

Over the years, I’ve learned a lot and tried so many different things with regards to nutrition. At this point, my ideology on nutrition is pretty relaxed. And it’s never worked out better.

There’s a ton of advice out there and, rightfully, it can be pretty confusing. So, I’ve chosen to follow a pretty simple mantra that offers me roughly eighty percent of the benefit of any particular diet while doing about twenty percent of the work to get that benefit. It’s this:

Remove sugar: Sugar is bad. Really bad. Occasional sugar is just fine, even daily, as long as you try to keep it under 50g at an absolute a maximum (30g even better).

Add water: Buy a dedicated flask just for water and you’ll have a one thousand times higher likelihood of sticking to the habit of drinking water daily. About eight to ten cups is fine, but you should look into what your specific amount is based on your body weight.

Get your food from the source: Do you have a farm where you live? Or a farmer’s market? Awesome. Section of your grocery store with local farm foods? Pretty good too. Also, this refers to what food you eat as well. Put a little more whole foods into your diet or get a juicer.

Keep it simple and use this method to get most of the benefit of altering your diet while saving you time to focus on what’s most important to you.

7. Find friends who identify with your challenges

We’re social creatures. No matter what you do, you can’t escape this.

And so, by virtue of this, the more social we are, the healthier we tend to be.

However, there’s something very specific about relationships that helps us more than anything else: having people around us who identify and sympathize with our challenges and who we communicate with often about those challenges. The lack thereof is often the reason for suicide in those who suffer from depression or bullying.

When we have people around us who listen and understand what we’re going through, something magical happens: we get through it (what it is for you). It’s a very simple thing that we often overlook but is so critical to our mental and even physical health.

8. Find a passion project or creative outlet

If you’ve been pursuing something you love for some time now, I don’t have to tell you how great it makes you feel.

The energy we get while pursuing our passions is limitless and gives us a sense of vitality that is hard (if impossible) to acquire any other way.

Using our brain regularly keeps our mind strong and moving helps keep us physically healthy, so if you haven’t yet taken the time to find what you’re passionate about and to start pursuing that with every fiber of your being, start now (before it’s too late).

There's no harm in trying, our mind and physical gives us energy. A person who can change his/her mind can change his/her lives. Always remember health is our wealth. Keep on checking and doing the things you love.

Sources:

Newport Academy, (2019). Understang the Mind-Body Connection. https://www.newportacademy.com/resources/mental-health/understanding-the-mind-body-connection/

Valentine, M., (2017). 8 Habits You Need to Lock Down for a Strong, Healthy Mind and Body. https://www.goalcast.com/2017/12/14/8-habits-healthy-mind-and-body/

[wolfpawn]

Pride and Prejudice, Chapter 50

Story Summary - Based on an idea I had that I submitted to Imagine Loki. Imagine Loki was raised on Jotunheim as Laufey’s son after the war, but an agreement was then made that he would wed Odin’s daughter so Odin could secure the alliance of Jotunheim through the marriage. Loki, in turn, was raised to be king of Jotunheim, but how he views Asgard is far different from how Odin’s daughter is raised leading to a clash of cultures as well as uncertainty between the pair of betrothed youths.

Chapter Summary -  The Aesir royal family come to Jotunheim to assist in readying for the coronation. 

Previous Chapter

Tags - @peppermint-j @damalseer @perpetual-fangirl @tinchentitri @inspired-snowflace @raphaelaisabella @alexakeyloveloki @caffiend-queen @devilbat @nonsensicalobsessions @skulliebythesea @majoringinlife @salempoe @lotus-eyedindiangoddess @rookienumber98 @ivytoh @agarwaeneth @rosierossette  @arch-venus25 @nessamaurice @winterisakiller

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NOTES -  I literally have this written with over a week and just as a tab on my computer but I suffer from ITS, Idiotic Thoughts Syndrome which makes me really mentally weird and my mind tells me no one likes my stuff, I just had a few people message me over the last day about this telling me they love it which forced me to feel like I am letting them down if I don't post it which, by the way, is sometimes the best way to motivate my shitty ass, so yeah, it needs saying, if you like this, please let me know, it actually gets me to upload new chapters. I have some written, so...yeah.

The roar of the Bifrost resounded across Jotunheim, declaring to the realm that the Allfather had arrived. Loki and Ella stood in the aforementioned agreed place of landing for the Aesir royal family with a few others with them. On seeing her parents, Ella smiled brightly, though her nervousness at revealing to them that she was carrying a child still played slightly on her. She had decided to inform them of their impending grandchild later in the palace, but for now, she hid it under a heavy cloak. When her parents and brother emerged from the startling light, some of their guards and even two of the Warrior’s Three with them, Loki and Ella stepped forward. 

Both Odin and Frigga seemed to immediately look at their daughter more than anything else, Frigga more so than her husband. Though the pair had been conversing through their seidr, it was the first time mother and daughter had been physically in one another’s company since the wedding and especially since she had been ill. Loki and Ella bowed as was expected to the Allfather and Allmother, who in turn both lowered their heads slightly in recognition of the gesture. Thor, who had stood back slightly came forward to deal with the formalities of the situation, though part of him thought it to be entirely unnecessary. Technically speaking, those arriving for the coronation were not doing so yet, so their being there was not on an official basis, more so on being there to assist their daughter and her husband, should they be required to assist so the bowing and such, the stoic interactions were something he wished did not occur. He had fought alongside the Jotnar, bled and lost brethren with them, that made the pageantry unnecessary in his eyes. He wanted to speak with the allies he had made again. 

“Allfather,” Loki bowed to Odin before turning to Frigga and doing the same. “Allmother, thank you for joining us for this momentous occasion.”  

“It is a great day for Jotunheim.” Odin declared though he looked warily at his daughter to see if she had been better treated since his last seeing her. Frigga had informed him that Ella looked healthy and happy when they spoke together but he did not fully believe it. She had put on a facade in the time up to her health scare, she could very easily do so again. But seeing her smile brightly, if not slightly apprehensively at them, there was no denying that she was indeed healthy again. If anything, he noted she seemed a little weightier than before, though he would never state such aloud, he always maintained she could do with a little more weight, especially after she got sick as a child. He wanted to be less formal, to speak with her but this was not the time. “It seems like life is developing well since the Casket’s return, a great success.”

Loki, Ella and many others gathered on the Jotnar side gritted their teeth with regards his comments on the Casket, all thinking the same with regards to him taking it in the first place.” “Jotunheim has never seen prosperity like it. The food is plenty, the many are healthy and the population is about to see an explosion like never before,” Ella beamed. “And with Loki’s rule, it will be even better.” The confident look she gave him and his smile in return startled the Aesir royals to the point of silence. In her talks with her mother, Ella rarely spoke on Loki in any manner, much less one to suggest to her mother that she thought so well of Loki. 

Odin was the first to find his voice again and cleared his throat which in turn, broke the peculiar feeling in the group gathered. “Good, the realm deserves a fresh start.” 

With the formalities completed, everyone headed to the palace. The Jotnar they met on route glanced at the Aesir party with intrigue yet not overly concerned. The Aesir mate to their soon-to-be king had caused many who had been wary before to trust the Aesir slightly more and with Loki’s coronation, they knew this was a necessary evil to host the Allfather once more. 

When they made it to the palace, Ella led them to their rooms with Loki by her side. As soon as all but her brother, his friends and her parents were gone, she walked over to her father and placed her hand beneath his own on Gungnir. “If I may be so bold, I need to borrow this for five minutes.” 

Odin frowned at his daughter. He had not even spoken directly to her since their arrival and she had not explained why she would require one of the most powerful weapons in all of the realms but the pleading yet confident look on her face told him that she felt whatever she planned required it greatly enough to ask. With a slight nod, he relinquished his grip on it and watched as she rushed off, Loki looking at her with confusion on his face as she left. When the young Jotnar noticed the Aesir royals looking at him in bewilderment, all he could do was try to express that he too was oblivious to what his mate was doing. 

Three minutes later, Býleistr walked past them looking terrified. A moment later Helbindi and Greta walked into the hall, both seeing the confused royals gathered in the hallway, both looking equal parts in awe and somewhat scared. 

“What did she do?” Loki half winced, not sure what they were going to say. 

Helbindi grinned. “Did you ask her about the space issue?” Loki nodded. “Well, it is dealt with.”

“What?” Loki cocked his head. 

“She’s after dealing with our space issue,” Helbindi repeated. 

“How?” “No idea. She used some golden stick and her seidr to do it.”

“That’s not a stick, that is Gungnir,” Odin growled, displeased that anyone would disrespect his powerful weapon in such a manner. 

“Gung...I thought only the Allfather could use that?” Helbindi looked to Loki in confusion. 

“Why do you seem surprised?” Loki chuckled. “Ella does as she sees fit, even powerful magical weapons know better than to argue with her.” He threw his eyes up playfully as he said so. 

Barely a moment later, Ella walked through the hall once more, looking proud of herself, Gungnir in her hand. When she got to her father, she smirked and handed him back the staff. “Thank you.” 

“That suits you far too well,” Odin commented to his daughter as he took back Gungnir. He used his seidr to read the magic that the staff had recently worked with to see what she had done. When he sensed it, he studied his daughter’s face, startled by the smirk on it. “How?” “You limit your abilities too much, Father, by your choice not to expand them.” She walked over to Loki who looked curiously at her. “The space issue is rectified.” “So ‘Bind said but how?” 

“I may have tripled the palace.” “I’m sorry, you what?” Loki could not comprehend what she was saying. 

“I used Gungnir to magnify my seidr and simply made the palace bigger. We needed more rooms, I made it that the living areas of the palace are now copied a few extra times so we can house all those who wish to be here. I also used it to make the areas habitable to those arriving. The last thing we need is frozen Light Elves.” 

Loki could not think of an answer worthy of the statement. When he mentioned his concerns to Ella, she smiled and promised to rectify it. When he asked her how she planned to do so, she merely smiled and repeated that she would do so and not worry about it any more. Seeing her do so in less than the time it took to get to the throne room, he found himself wondering how he could ever have thought her to be dim-witted when he first met her. “Always finding solutions.” He smiled kindly at her. 

“What would you do without me?” She smiled before looking over at her parents and brother who clearly were uncertain as to what to say with regards to their daughter’s clearly altered situation. Thor knew that Loki had developed from the arrogant being that he had seen for the wedding, even speaking to him when he came for their assistance but seeing now that it seemed to even have grown more intrigued him slightly, especially because Ella seemed different. She seemed a lot more open, something he had not been used to on Asgard. To him, she was always an annoying prankster at worst or disinterested in him and his friends at best. She never seemed to do anything but stand and listen to court or speak almost stoically with friends. Now, she seemed so much more outgoing and confident. 

“I think we best get settled.” Frigga turned to Odin, who clearly was weary, though no one would admit to such out loud, especially Odin himself. 

“Yes, when you do so, Loki and I must speak more with you,” Ella stated. Her parents stared at her worriedly. “Yes, we are nulling the marriage and I am taking the veil.” Each word dripped with adequate sarcasm befitting her deadpan tone and facial expression. “Surprise.” 

“I thought you had matured, I was getting worried.” Thor scoffed. 

“And be boring? Perish the thought.” Ella shuddered. “Go get settled. We will ensure everything is as it needs to be here and then we will speak more.” She bowed slightly. “Until then, I am getting something to eat.” With that, she walked off. 

Helbindi scoffed slightly before encouraging Greta to back to their rooms to rest. Her heat had settled and she was currently waiting to see if she had become pregnant anxiously while also assisting with the coronation with the other female mates. Helbindi was forced to deal with other matters meaning he only say her for small parts of the day but was adamant that she rest adequately. 

Loki looked after his mate for a moment before looking at her bemused parents. “I best alert my father than all are here.” “Where is Laufey?” Odin asked. 

“Resting, I fear. His health continues to waiver so he must rest more often, hence this unprecedented event.” He bowed slightly. “Until later, please, make yourselves comfortable.” With that, he left to follow do as he said and inform his father. 

“Do we even want to know?” Odin asked his wife. “What did she say to you?” “Nothing worthy of speaking with us like she is implying she needs to, perhaps it is to do with the coronation, she seems slightly concerned with regards to that,” Frigga shrugged. “Nonetheless, it would be wise for us to attempt to prepare the rooms, those ice-beds do nothing for your back.” 

“You hardly doubt it took Ella that long to merely duplicate a few rooms? She has readied ours to our liking also.” Odin informed her. “She said she did it in the other wings but she did it for us also.” 

“How could you possibly know that?” 

“Do you think you are the only one she can communicate silently with? Why do you think we both held Gungnir for a moment?” His chest puffed out proudly. “It was from us both that she became one of the most powerful seidr wielder in the realms, not simply one.” He looked at the staff in his grasp. “Had she have been a son, she would have been terrifying.” Thor was about to say something when he saw his father inhaled deeply in a manner that always meant he was about to say more. “A warrior for an heir and a seidr-wielding assassin as his highest general, it would have been terrifying.” “The Norns knew it would have been too much,” Frigga commented. “She seemed to have little issue with Gungnir.”

Odin looked at his staff, something he could never remember fighting without since the day his father Bor died and it was placed in his hands as his successor. “Yes, so it would seem.” His voice was distant as he did so, telling Frigga that he was thinking of something in his own head. 

[shenanigans-and-imagines]

Jayna Dar (Revised)

Basics

Full Name: Jayna Dar

Bounty Hunter Alias: Myra Tillo

Home Planet: Chalacta

Age: 32 at the start of The Clone Wars

Sexual Orientation: Bisexual

Appearance

Species: Human

Skin Tone: Deep brown

Eye Color: Green

Hair Color: Black

Hairstyle: Usually worn in classic Star Wars braids, but eventually cut just above her shoulders

Makeup: Heavy around the eyes and not much else

Build: Like a gymnast; muscular and lean

Height: 5’ 8’’

Style: Before joining Maul her clothes are more western inspired; long dust jacket, boots the works. She wears minimal armor and tight clothing underneath to allow her to move freely.  She also makes sure to cover her lower face by a mask at all times. After joining Maul, she abandons the mask and only wears the dust jacket on special assignments.

Weapons: Purple lightsaber and two DH-17 blaster pistols

Personality

General Personality Traits: Private, Strong Willed, Sharp Tongued

Strengths: Intelligence, Resourcefulness, Reliability

Flaws: Stubborn, Ruthless, Resentful

Habits And Mannerisms: Never leaves her back to the door, has a tendency to lean against anything she can find, refuses to sit in a chair like a normal person, master for the perfectly timed eyebrow

Secrets: She was a padawan before becoming a Bounty Hunter; her master was killed and the Jedi never came for her, assuming she was dead

 Regrets: Allowing herself to rely on anyone

Skills/Talents: Force sensitive (doesn’t have as much control in the mind category, but can reliably manipulate the force to assist in jumps and her strength), Fast reflexes, hand to hand combat, sharp shooter, and can annoy the living hell out of anyone

Likes: A good fight and getting paid

Dislikes: Getting screwed over

Sense of Humor: Biting and sarcastic

Guilty Pleasure: Actually, indulging in friendships and genuine connections with people

Defining Moment: Deciding to stay with Maul after the Siege of Mandalor and Order 66, helping him to gain back control of Crimson Dawn

Relationships

Friends: Cad Bane (to a point), Hondo Ohnaka (to a point), Obi Wan Kenobi (a long time ago)

Enemies: Most of the Jedi, Palpatine, Dooku, a good handful of gangsters, a few bounty hunters, a lot of people basically

Rivals: Aurra Sing and Cad Bane

Lovers: A string of one-night stands, currently Darth Maul

Relationship Status: It’s complicated

Reputation: Here for a fun night, but won’t stick around for coffee in the morning

Miscellaneous

Collections: Replacement parts for her lightsaber stolen over the years

 Accent: British, but filtered through an Indian dialect

Voice: Smooth as silk

Signature Quote: “Who says I stole it?”

Song: Ain’t No Rest for the Wicked by Cage The Elephant

Backstory

Jayna doesn’t remember her life on Chalacta before the Jedi came for her.  She was only about five when she arrived at the Temple and already showed a deep connection to the force.  She was trained along with several younglings around her own age, including one Obi Wan Kenobi.

She was always rather reckless, experimenting with her abilities and thinking of new and creative ways to use it.  However, she did not have the same natural control of her emotions the others did, which proved difficult in her training.  This didn’t stop her and Obi Wan from forming a close bond in their early days.  While he had a better sense of when to stop, they encouraged each other in their studies and pushed the limits of what was and was not allowed.

Eventually, Jayna passed her trials and moved to the status of Padawan at thirteen under the guidance of Master Kira Odan, a female Pandoran.  She did her best to counterbalance her Padawan’s more reckless tendencies, but they did not have long together.

When Jayna was fourteen, and her master were sent to settle of dispute on the edge of Wild Space.  They were so far out, contact with the Republic was extremely difficult, which proved their undoing.  The village in which they were staying was attacked by slavers.  Master Odan was killed and Jayna was taken as a slave. It took weeks for the Jedi to finally reply to the distress call.  When they got there, the village was burned to the ground.  Both Master Odan and her padawan were presumed dead.

Jayna was eventually taken by the Pykes to work in their spice mines. She tried to keep her abilities under wraps.  She knew well enough to know she could not fight everyone on her own, and especially without her lightsaber (she had destroyed it not long after being captured, making a point to pull out the kyber crystal before her slavers could discover it).  But, she found it difficult to obey orders and was often beaten down for her trouble, which only fueled her rage and made it harder to control her abilities.

Luckily for her, this inability to back down from a fight caught the interest of a Bounty Hunter employed by the Pykes, a Twi’lek named Daymar.  He bought her for a rather low price since she was “too much trouble”.  

Jayna saw this as her chance to escape, but Daymar easily caught her and brought her back to their came.  She had also given up her secret in the escape attempt.  Seeing this as an opportunity, Daymar convinced her to stay, playing into her insecurities about the Jedi abandoning her.  Feeling alone in the world, and scared, Jayna agreed to stay with Daymar.

She took on the alias Myra Tillos as Daymar trained her to be a bounty hunter. She learned to be sufficient with a variety of weapons as well as how to hide her abilities in order not to draw attention to the Jedi and other hunters who might want to take her away.  She even managed to scramble together bits and pieces of machinery to eventually rebuild her lightsaber.  This only added to her growing reputation as rumors spread on where and how she got the weapon.

All seemed to be going well until she was nineteen and got her final lesson.  

While on a job, their employer discovered Jayna was force sensitive.  He convinced Daymar to hand her over in exchange for Jayna’s cut plus an extra twenty percent.  Daymar did so without hesitation, telling Jayna that “it was nothing personal, just business”.  It was then Jayna realized Daymar had just been using her, just like the slavers had used her, and the Jedi before them.

Unfortunately for her latest buyer, he underestimated her abilities, thinking she had never been properly trained.  She killed him in the escape as well as everyone else who knew of her abilities.  She then tracked down Daymar and killed him too.

Now free, she vowed never again to have any form of Master.  She soon developed her own reputation as a solo act known for quick jobs and miraculous escapes. She rarely worked with other Bounty Hunters if she could help it, knowing the chances of her being stabbed in the back when she was by herself was a nice healthy zero.  However, she eventually got into some friendly competition with Cad Bane and could even manage some jobs with him with little pain on either end.

She spent a little over a decade like this until The Clone Wars.  With the war brings change and an imbalance in the force even she can’t ignore.  

[hollenka99]

The One Where Jackie Settles In

Summary: Chapter 3. Jackie gets used to life with Marvin.

Warnings: death mention, violence mention

@bupine @badlypostedeverything

In the minute it takes for Jackie's mind to wake up along with him, he becomes confused as to why his chest is in agony. More confusing than that, he appeared to be in the bedroom of someone's home. In a pile on a bean bag was a pre-arranged outfit for him to wear. Dressed, he ventures to the hallway. And things finally click. Right, he was living with Marvin now. Marvin, who happened to also be Cat. The past 24 hours had been quite eventful. He'd… rather forget it. He requests anything Marvin had on hand. If he was a superhero, surely he was no stranger to injury. Therefore, there must be something lying around to assist with pain management. To his relief, Marvin can indeed help him. In fact, he goes further and offers him whatever is required for his recovery. With the medical care over, Marvin invites his new roommate to help himself to mini Weetabix or bread. Jackie doesn't think he can manage more than a simple buttered slice of toast this morning. The Russian blue missing her front left leg observes them from her shelf. Marvin notices where Jackie's gaze is directed. "Indie's watching us eat, isn't she?" "Yep." Jackie chuckles. "Come face us, you little spy." Marvin turns around in his seat, wearing a mock scowl. "Caoimhe was like that. I couldn't eat anything at home without her staring at me until I gave her a bit of my dinner." Marvin is facing the table again. "Caoimhe?" "Oh um... she was my dog before- before all this." "Is she with friends or something?" "I guess. Them or my dad. It all happened so quickly." Suddenly, stories relating to pets fill the space between toast and soggy cereal. Jackie learns of the time Indie somehow found herself stuck in the space between the television and the wall. Likewise, he tells his friend all about Caoimhe's misadventures as a puppy, including her habit of attempting to snack on his drumsticks. This in turn leads to Jackie confirming that yes, he was a drummer and guitar wasn't his preferred instrument. The two of them chat at the table until Marvin realises in a shock that it was already time for him to get ready for work. Running late slightly, he blurts out his apologises and suggests Jackie finds a DVD to watch while he's alone. Despite how abruptly it had ended, the morning had been an enjoyable one. Joel checks up on them a couple days after the incident with Anti. He raises the issue of Jackie not having any clothes of his own. The Canadian offers to accompany him around the shops, making the point it would be a proper chance to get to know each other. With the promise expenses shouldn't influence decisions, they leave. They manage to collect a variety of tops and jeans. Apparently ripped jeans were fashionable now. Fashion had certainly changed in the past three decades. He and Joel are still able to find items that were close enough to what he used to know. The shops they visit are lacking in leather jackets but Joel is able to offer a black denim one as a compromise. With socks and underwear also in their possession, it was time to move on from clothes shopping. Almost. Doing so as discreetly as he can, Joel mutters quietly to Jackie. "I can see you eyeing the women's section. Why don't you have a look?" "No, it's weird. Trust me, men were not made to wear feminine clothing." "Listen, I have two dads and a diminished sense of gendered clothing. I am the last person who will give a damn about a guy wearing a dress. You have a similar build to my dad so..." Joel approaches the racks, flicking through them. Periodically, he scrutinises Jackie to likely determine if the dress was right for him. The most Jackie lets his new friend buy for him is a skirt that reached his knees. It seems to please him that Jackie allowed him to get even that. He supposes it was a nice garment. And a kind gesture too. With the clothes stuffed into the back seat of Joel's car, the duo return to explore the Tesco Metro. The older of the two triggers a whole conversation about Easter celebrations. Joel talks about the Beaches Easter parade in Toronto while Jackie grumbles about Easter Sunday masses. They both agree there's no such thing as too many Easter eggs. "Hey, you should get a notebook or something. It might help if you have somewhere to put your thoughts about the 21st century." "What, you want me to write you an essay about modern life when I've known nothing else? I'm 20, I was born in... 1999." "It's April so if you want to turn 21 this year, it's 1998." "Wh- 'if I want to turn 21 this year'? Can I please get through the rest of this month without having my life being threatened?" Joel groans. "No, dumbass, it was advice." He leans close to Jackie's ear. "I know about Village Square and how you were born in 1966. I'm sure you want to talk about this further but I don't have anywhere I can really take you to speak privately." "You're psychic?" "No." Joel places his bags down, resigning himself to tackle this subject while standing outside a WHSmiths. "Sure, I can create portals but I'm no mind reader." "Then how-?" "I already told you, this is not a conversation we should have in public." "What about your apartment? You don't live with Marvin and you told me you weren't living on the streets anymore." "In Canada. And I doubt it would be healthy to send you somewhere over 3500 miles away when you sustained a major injury a few days ago. Listen, how about you text- A phone, we need to get you a phone too." "Right." Mobile phones are unrecognisable. How the hell did technology advance to the point where this small slab of glass and alloy was capable of receiving calls? Not to mention the plethora of things it also offered. And controlled by your fingers on top of it all off. Joel reassures him he can take it slow with this technological leap. The main reason he bought it was for communication and it could remain so if he wanted. Jackie supposes the shiny blue back was pretty. It wasn't hard, growing accustomed to life with Marvin. His roommate would sleep in after a long night of patrolling then spend most afternoons working a shift at the local garden centre. In addition to that, Marvin would also don his Magnificent Cat costume twice a week so he could help those still on the streets. Jackie usually sat those out, feeling awkward about his new situation. Marvin was typically the one to cook. As such, Jackie felt it necessary the head of the kitchen should be aware he couldn't have mustard. If the hero could try getting into the habit of checking ingredients and being wary of anything labelled 'spices', he'd be much obliged. Marvin does his best to follow these instructions. It seemed to be working fine as there was yet to be any allergic reactions. At some point during that second week, Marvin invited Jackie to the kitchen. His plan was to bake his favourite cake, one containing chocolate and strawberries. Their joint efforts go well for a short while. Then Jackie gave himself an edible moustache upon stealing the whipped cream from the fridge. Marvin confiscated the can, only to follow suite. By the time the cake was ready to exit the oven, the duo were laughing, in need of a whipped cream restock and a change of clothes. It is after returning from a shift that Marvin introduces Jackie to an unusual pizza crust arrangement. "Pizza Hut have the best stuffed crust though. This is only the best Morrisons has to offer, as far as I've tried it." Marvin continues on, rambling about how, while studying at university, he made it his goal to find the best frozen pizza supermarkets within walking distance of his accommodation had to offer. As such, he had designated this specific pizza as his favourite. Something about the other varieties being too liquidy or whatever. He has no interest in this subject. Pizza was pizza. But... Marvin seemed very engrossed in imparting his findings to him and who was Jackie to stop him? "Oh, tell you who would go with us to Pizza Hut, my friends Henrik and Jameson. Maybe Chase too but he tends to be a rather busy guy. You should meet them. I think you might get on with those guys." Marvin makes a note as a reminder to invite his friends for a meal out. For the time being, that is the end of that. Before long, the Easter weekend arrives and with it, a chance for Jackie to finally meet Sean. It was clear Marvin looked up to his big brother from the way he spoke about him. As far as Jackie was aware, Sean was 9 years older, a video game developer and a reluctant cook, hence why the two roommates were taking care of the big meal. He can certainly see the resemblance between the brothers. Their features were very similar. The main difference between them was hair. While Marvin was clean shaven with waves descending to his shoulders, Sean had stubble and short straight hair. It was pleasant to see them have such a good relationship, complete with teasing and half-serious threats of burning the other if he kept pushing it. Jackie found Sean likeable. The whole meal, they kept themselves occupied with chatter. He learns Sean enjoyed painting in his spare time. In fact, he was creating the backgrounds for his company's new game. It is at this point that Marvin lets him know there was still a blue smudge, albeit slightly faded, on the side of his left hand. The afternoon is a good one but like all things, it comes to an end. Before too long, they are bidding Sean farewell and exchanging comments about the day's success. Night, the stranger found, was the best cover. Some dark clothes to reduce visibility and a hood to better conceal his identity from CCTV cameras. With some silent fiddling, the door grants him entry. He knows precisely which room he has to visit first. His most recent escapee is completely oblivious to the intruder. He could ensure Jackie never woke up with a single touch. But Marvin would discover the truth were that to happen. That method was too obvious. Besides, this wasn't what he was here for. The envelope slips out of his bag. In the morning, Jackie will find the surprise on his bedside table. That done, he moves on to the other bedroom. The hero is still awake, albeit engrossed by his phone's screen. Only now does Anti allow his presence to be sensed. Marvin reacts accordingly by throwing the covers to the side and defensively leaping to his feet. A palm is raised to prevent any provocative action before it could be carried out. The message is delivered. "Back off, Marvin. You should know by now what I'm like when frustrated. Let the next one slide and you won't hear from me for a good while." He looks like a three year old persevering with their poorly thought out argument. He's certainly a 24 year old man in his pyjamas rather than an on duty superhero fully in costume. "I... I can't." "One life for several. Aren't you supposed to be on the better side of the morality spectrum? Surely this is a easy choice." Anti doesn't wait for any potential response from Marvin. The serial killer leaves the way he came. The sun rises and with it, Jackie. Marvin was already awake, cradling an abandoned coffee. He gives his friend little acknowledgement as he enters the kitchen. The piece of paper Jackie is holding, however, gains his attention. Especially when he asks the dreaded question. "Uh, Marv? Do you know anything about this?" It's only a portion of an A4 sheet. A pair of scissors has been used perhaps a third of the way down. The contents is limited to a single typed line which reads: We both know he's no doctor. Maybe you should ask why he hasn't taken you to be treated by professionals. Jackie starts talking as soon as he's sure Marvin has read the message. "I- Listen, I will admit I had wondered why you never sent me to a hospital. But I guess I brushed it off as a secret identity thing. So why didn't-?" "You're new to this city, right?" "Yes." "So you don't know Anti like I do. He likes making a point of finishing what he started. I don't know how the hell he does it. But if he's the one who put you in hospital, the only place you're going after that is the morgue. So forgive me for wanting you still around. And yeah, it's true, I am not a doctor. However, books on human biology and the internet have served me fine. I've had way more injuries than Sean is aware of. Yet here I am, walking around despite the occupational hazards my hobby is littered with." "Marvin-" "If you want me to apologise for prioritising you staying alive, then I'm afraid you're out of luck." The aggression radiating from him remains for several seconds. It dissipates into something softer. "But I am sorry for putting the decision solely in my hands. If that means anything." Jackie lets the air settle between them before answering. "Alright. Listen, I am still upset-" "Fine, then I'll leave for a while." Marvin begins making his way to the shoe pile by the door. "What I was going to say was I'm still upset but I'd rather move on and let bygones be bygones for now. Just promise you won't do something that risky again." He stops completely to face Jackie. "Yes, of course. I promise." "Thank you. And, as a sidenote, if you're going to run from disagreements, at least fix that mess you call your hair. It's horrendous." The sleep deprived hero scoffs, a tiny smile creeping into existence. "Got it."