#(i might write smth out of it now I’ve experienced it)

[kyoghurts]

the day i started writing poetry & making a playlist for them is the day the lovergirl in me comes out in the open

[definitelynotafurinasimp]

Hii,do you mind if you make an scene where you and furina or any other characters fight and you ended up taking their cuddling privilege through the rest of the day? Thanks!!

Them taking away your cuddle privileges after a fight

characters: Furina / Nilou x gn!reader (separate)

warnings: none

a/n: ....you know... reading through the request one last time before posting this, it looks like I may have misunderstood smth *slightly*.

I hope this is still fine! If you want me to write reader taking away their cuddling priviledges after all just request it again and I'll try to write it someday!

Anyway, hope you enjoy!

Furina

“I’m nowhere clingy!”

You’d have to be either deaf, stupid or oblivious to an unhealthy degree to miss your cuddling privileges being revoked. Furina had not exactly been subtle when openly declaring it after all. And while she may not have mentioned cuddling specifically, not trusting herself to not blush like a little kid at just the mention of it, you felt confident in saying that she had delivered her message well enough for even the most tone-deaf idiot to understand.

And yet, the exact same accusation that you had half-jokingly thrown her way and that she had taken such great offense to, turned the next few days into some of the best entertainment you had experienced in recent memory. Seeing an former Archon act dignified while at the same time having to fight the obvious urge to hug you the moment you were behind closed doors, only to then turn around and act like her embargo on hugging and cuddling was punishing you, was funnier than any comedy a human could possibly ever pen.

“So… about our argument a few days ago.” Furina spoke up the moment you returned to the table with your cooking, forcing you to fight off the grin that was threatening to pop-up on your face.

“So, about our argument a few days ago”, you repeated her words, intentionally ending on a high note to leave her waiting for your next words, only to continue to set up the table in silence.

“Are you- I-” she eventually stuttered out, only to stop herself before she could embarrass herself further. Her cheeks glowing slightly red as she tried to regain her composure.

“Who knows, if you were to apologize for your groundless accusations a few days back right now, I might just forgive you”, Furina graciously offered with closed eyes, avoiding to look at you in the process.

All the better for you, or she might have noticed the wide grin that had finally broken out on your face. For a moment you considered her ‘offer’. Sure, you missed cuddling on the couch as well and weren’t exactly the biggest fan of keeping up these kind of games…. and yet seeing her continue to needlessly die on this hill that so obviously harmed her more than you was very amusing.

“Wow, really? That seems very nice of you”, you mused with a smile while filling her plate with a portion before doing the same for yours and sitting down opposite of her. “Bon Appetit!”

“Oh come on. Stop being so stubborn! I’ve even given you such a good opportunity to apologize!” Furina's dignified act crumbled right before your eyes as she started to sound more and more desperate. You could practically hear her begging you to be the bigger person, and yet being small felt surprisingly great.

And yet you eventually- FINALLY gave in, much to the relief of the person sitting in front of you. “I am so sorry for calling you clingy Furina. I now see that I was clearly in the wrong and the one actually fitting the description of ‘clingy’ was in fact me”, your apology came out with a… healthy amount of sarcasm, and yet it was more than enough for her.

“...I’ll forgive you. Since you were nice enough to cook for me today”, she declared.

“I know I might be overplaying my hand here, but would you be so kind as to indulge me in a bit of cuddling later on? I’ve simply had to go on without it for far too long.”

“YES- Sure”, Furina immediately jumped at your offer before quickly switching back to her usual act, a wide smile plastered on her face nonetheless as she looked down at the food in front of her.

“It looks delicious, bon appetit!”

Nilou 

While the two of you seemed to have quickly moved past your argument, spending time together as if nothing had happened and avoiding to even mention the subject again, it quickly dawned on you that while you had hoped this to be one of those arguments noone had to explicitly apologize for and that was simply forgotten the next day, the other party involved seemingly was of a different opinion.

Not that Nilou said anything, she greeted you with the same sweet smile before chatting and going on small walks through the bazaar with you in the same manner as on any day of the week. And yet, whenever you as much as tried to initiate any kind of physical contact, no matter if hand-holding or hugging and cuddling, she’d dodge as easily as she breathed. At first it seemed like nothing but a coincidence, but after the dozenth time even you realized something was wrong.

What followed was a days-long standoff. Both of you trying to make the other one crack before yourself, while retaining your sweet and unbothered facade, and while there were moments where you could have sworn to nearly see Nilou instinctively grab your hand, she always managed to stop herself before anything happened.

And while you certainly could have continued with the act for weeks to come, you eventually decided to be the bigger person. For the sake of putting this childish game of chicken behind, of course. And for no other reasons.

“Sure Nilou. You win”, you disrupted the silence that existed between the two of you while Nilou was in the process of adjusting her stage, her movement grinding to a halt as she began staring at you in confusion.

“I wasn’t aware we were playing something. Did you have fun?”

‘Not aware’ your a- 

“Mhm, I am sorry about the argument”, you cut off your thoughts, immediately earning yourself a tilt of her head. After all this time you knew her clueless act to be nothing but an act and yet, when she looked at you like this you nearly found yourself doubting it all over again.

“Oh that? That was a whole week ago, did it still bother you all this time?”, she asked before finally finishing putting down the pot of flowers, quickly making her way down from the stage to join you and shooting you a sweet smile. “Don’t worry, I forgive you. I also didn’t mean everything I’ve said.”

If Nilou hadn’t suddenly grabbed your hand and started pulling you along her daily routine, you might have almost rolled your eyes, instead you found yourself thanking Lesser Lord Kusanali that you were indeed correct about your theory.

Bye Bye childish standoff, welcome back cuddling privileges.

[spaceshipellie]

ok ok rockstar!ellie x actress!reader ,, ellie being like obsessed with reader and her films / shows and says smth about u during an interview. reader seeing it and talking about it in another interview. even better if readers a bit older than ellie and ellie had a poster of reader in her room when she was younger sjshsg

the blades

rockstar!ellie x actress!reader

part one (two pending)

summary: ellie’s band did a song for your upcoming movie and you both mention each other in interviews.

warnings: reader is like 5-6 years older than ellie but they’re both in their twenties

author’s note: i love this concept so much i want to write more rockstar!ellie x actress!reader in future!! tysm for the request, i hope you like it 🖤 wc: 800

“so let’s talk about your latest single, caves, which is for the new movie end of beginning, right?”

“right,” ellie nodded at the interviewer, twisting the rings on her fingers which rested in her lap. she was usually pretty nervous doing interviews, still only feeling truly comfortable in front of a crowd when she had her guitar hanging from her shoulders.

“it’s an incredible song and goes so well in the movie, i mean…” the interviewer’s voice trailed off as they turned to the audience who were whooping and cheering at the compliments. “well they certainly agree!”

“thank you, we’ve had so much fun getting to be a part of it,” dina beamed her award-winning smile.

“so were you able to meet the stars? what did they think?”

“we did briefly which was amazing,” dina carried on, “and i think they loved it!?” she turned to jesse.

“yeah they thought it was great which for us, you know, was crazy as they’re super talented people so that recognition was uh, was amazing. ellie especially loved it,” jesse said, sneaking in a jab at his band mate and best friend.

“really ellie?” the interview seemed keen to know more.

ellie stretched her arm up, nervously scratching the back of her head and tried to fight a smile off her lips. “yeah, i mean i…oh man, thanks jesse.”

“anytime.”

“i’m a huge fan so it was a trip getting to meet them,” she finally settled on.

“meeting y/n?” the interviewer pushed.

“yeah, meeting y/n was great.”

“why do i feel like there’s more you’re not telling me?” the interviewer joked.

“well,” she awkwardly laughed, “no, i mean she’s an insanely talented actress and i’ve loved her movies for years so it’s always pretty crazy meeting someone like that.”

“that, and the posters,” dina leaned into ellie’s shoulder. ellie tried to refrain from swearing on tv.

“posters?”

“yeah,” she admitted, “i had a poster of her on my wall when i was like 16.”

“was she a bit of a celebrity crush for you?”

“something like that, yeah.” ellie’s cheeks had gone bright red and they felt hot under the bright stage lights and mini interrogation she was experiencing.

“oh it’s all coming out now,” jesse laughed and dina laughed with him. ellie chuckled, embarrassed, whilst shooting them a glare.

she ran her hands down her face. “oh, i can’t believe you just made me admit that on tv.”

“she’s probably going to see this,” the interviewer said, “and she’s on here next week.”

“oh god, don’t even mention it.”

— a week later —

“so, y/n! thanks for being on the show.”

“thank you for having me!” you shot your best smile at the interviewer and the crowd, who cheered.

“you’re new movie end of beginning is out now, is that right?”

“yes it’s out now and we had the premier last week which was an incredible night!”

“it looked amazing, as did you, so stunning!”

“thank you so much.”

the interviewer went on asking you more questions about your role in the movie before bringing up ellie’s band, the blades.

“you might have already seen but last week we had the blades on our show and they said it was amazing to work with you.”

“yes! i loved the music they made for this movie, they’re all beyond talented. it was great to meet them as well, super lovely guys,” you praised.

“were you a fan before?”

“yes i am actually, i saw them live on their tour last year so yeah, i’ve been a fan for a while.”

your cheeks felt hot all of a sudden as you had a feeling where this was going.

“well, i think they were definitely fans of yours, or at least one of them was!” the interviewer prodded, smiling. you laughed shyly, not wanting to be the one to admit to anything in front of a live audience.

“ellie said you were her celebrity crush.”

“i heard, yeah,” you smiled down into your lap, trying to compose yourself.

“i think you’d made a cute couple,” the interviewer beamed and the crowd cheered. “they think so!”

“i um,” you stammered, “yeah she’s cute.”

you thought she was more than just cute! you had been a fan of her band for a couple of years and had swooned over the way her skilled fingers plucked her guitar strings over and over again. the outfits she wore. the way she sits with her knees apart and hands clasped together in interviews. the smiles and smirks she has whilst on stage. the tiktok edits you had saved.

“well make sure to invite me to the wedding,” the interviewer laughed. you shyly nodded, trying to stifle the wide grin that wanted to take over your face. you almost hoped ellie wouldn’t see this but there was no doubt that she would… she did, and she had a shit-eating grin on her face the entire time.

[mmmfanfiction]

Hi!! Ik your probably stressed bc ur really active XD but I hope you drink some water and get some rest. When you find the time to write could I request a flippy/flipqy x reader Christmas head cannons?

Also if your doing the anon thing could I be -🌹 anon ?

Thats super sweet of you, anon! I hope that you’re getting a bunch of water and rest too! Sorry this came in so late, I started writing but didn’t finish. However I did give myself the deadline of Christmas which helped me actually finish this (finishing things on the deadline gang) anyway, I hope you like it!

warnings: mentions of death, literally nothing else just me imagining Fliqpy being like a lethal house cat-

Flippy

🧸I like to think Christmas is like a sense of nostalgia for Flippy.

🧸Like he’s done it his entire life, so it brings him back to his childhood.

🧸Flippy defo decorates, but not in the overboard, as soon as thanksgiving ends, everything’s lit up kind of way.

🧸More of a chill decorator. Doesn’t go all out but theirs definitely decoration.

🧸However if your one of those big decorators he will definitely help out with some things. Also he won’t let you go on the roof unless your experienced. Even then he’s like hovering below you.

🌹”Babe I’m not gonna fall, you don’t have to follow me wherever I go with that pillow.”

🧸”But I don’t want you to get hurt :(“

🧸I feel like he knows how to make REALLY good hot cocoa

🧸Like, tastes like it’s straight from heaven.

🧸He makes amazing cookies too.

🧸Also crochets cute little Christmas sweaters.

🧸Even makes matching ones.

🧸Flip definitely puts lots of thought into gifts.

🧸Like he will ask everyone you know just to gauge the best thing to get for you.

🧸His wrapping looks really good!….. if you don’t look at the bottom-

🧸Is open to trying new traditions. Like if you have a bit more spice added to your Christmas traditions then he’ll try them out too!

🧸Has like really obscure but also really sweet Christmas movies.

🧸Also old ones, like the stop motion Rudolf the reigndeer. 

🧸Just please don’t let him watch nightmare before Christmas, or at least avoid the one scene where the military starts shooting down Jack. That will not be a good time for either of you, especially not poor Flips.:(

🧸All in all, very warm n cuddly being w/ Flippy on Christmas. 

Fliqpy

🔪Now this little shit-

🔪Idk where that was going I just wanted to call Fliqpy a little shit.

🔪Anyways he’s not used to Christmas.

🔪Would 100% use the lights to strangle someone-

🔪Though he’s really good to have around if you wanna chop your own tree.

🔪The first Christmas he spends with you I don’t imagine him really getting you anything, and also getting flustered when you give him a gift.

🔪Afterwords he starts putting a bit more effort into this whole Christmas thing.

🔪Either a really shitty gift giver or a really great gift giver. No inbetween 

🔪Will fall asleep during Christmas movies.

🔪Unless maybe it doubles as a horror movie. Like idk Black Christmas or smth(I’ve never watched Black Christmas so don’t quote me on that but I really want to but I don’t want my mum to walk in and be like ‘WTF ARE YOU WATCHING!?’ Anyways back on track)

🔪Flippys not used to the domestic vibe of Christmas

🔪However if you also believe in Krampus he might be a liiittttleee bit more into it(long live Krampus)

🔪I imagine he really likes hot cocoa but won’t admit it.

🔪Also thinks Santa’s a creep

🔪”So, let me get this straight. You celebrate a dude BREAKING INTO YOUR HOUSE??”

🌹”…. He gives us gifts-“

🔪Really good at wrapping things to make them look like something they’re not. Like you think you’re opening a doll but it’s actually a pocket knife :)

[prsk-krow]

HIHIII!! You’ve been my fav writer on here for a while noww so I’ve been thinking of requesting and i finally thought of smth !! I was wondering if I could request n25 with a reader who covered one of their songs??

love your fics!!! Byebyeeeee

{Niigo with a reader who covers a song!} [P]

Kanade Yoisaki

Kanade is always honored to have people paying attention and showing positive responses to her songs, so imagine her pride when she sees covers of them online...

Especially seeing you, who she has known and has shown her songs before to, publishing a cover?? She didn't see it coming at all, and was shocked by the sudden nature of it all!

She was just scrolling through her channel, looking for replies and feedback to see what her fans thought of her newest piece when she sees the cover on the recommended list! It caught her attention immediately!

She listens to it, and she's taken aback by the emotion packed into every lyric! Even though you didn't write them, she could tell that they meant something to you, that it wasn't just pretty words and sentences, but there was a soul behind it all!

She makes sure to leave a comment on your cover. After understanding the feelings you were conveying through her song, she couldn't help but feel satisfied with her own work, at least this once...

That cover was truly something special. I could feel the emotion behind every word, and the way you conveyed them was something that resonated with me. I'm honored to have caused such emotions with our work, and I hope to see you experiencing them with our future ones.

Mafuyu Asahina

Mafuyu hadn't really thought about the aspect of others really admiring her songs that way. She didn't make it for that reason, so she never gave the aspect of her fan's reception much thought.

That's why she doesn't think much of it when you say such nice things of her songs! She hadn't meant to show off her work to you, but once you learnt about it you couldn't help showing off your appreciation!

And that's also why it takes her by surprise when she sees a cover of one of the songs she created alongside her group sudden uploaded to your channel! You showed it to her in hopes of learning what she thought of it!

She was surprised when hearing that a cover was made of her song! Did the people hearing it like it this much? She always saw a lot of compliments on the comments but didn't think much of them. But this? She never really understood why having covers made was so touching, but in that moment, it clicked.

"Ah, I'm glad that you enjoyed it so much! Fufu, but to go through all that effort, you must have really been touched by that song, huh? It shows through your voice in this video! I can tell, even though it's my first time listening to it."

She simply smiled and thanked you for the cover while thinking to herself, just how their songs affect those who hear it... She has already smiled at a demo her friend made, so the feelings that a complete one can convey... She might need to learn more about what her fans do.

Ena Shinonome

Ena is one of the members who cares most about the reception that their fans make whenever uploading any new songs! She mostly does this to search for stuff that she could fix about her own parts, but also enjoys the compliments quite a bit...

However, she doesn't really expect her online, musician life to connect with her irl one! So when she suddenly sees one of her irl friends posting a cover, she is just plain surprised!

Sure, she had heard you complimenting the songs that they made, but she didn't think much of it! Especially as you continued to praise the music and lyrics, both of which she didn't create. However, now that she sees the cover...

"You... We're serious about that?? U-uh wait! I'm not really reprimanding you or anything! I'm just... Shocked, that's all! Um, I haven't really heard your cover yet, but... I don't know, it still feels out of place, and... Jeez, you really want me to give it a listen, huh? Fine, fine!"

She does listen to it eventually, and she's, once again, surprised! You, one of her irl friends, putting such emotion into her song?? She needs a few moments to take it all in for sure, but once she does, she sends a message telling you how good you did!

However, she also sends a few tips on how to do a bit better, since she can tell that it wasn't perfect! After all, she has always strived to be better at the things she liked, and she thinks that with such passion put into your vocals, you might be the same!

Mizuki Akiyama

Mizuki is quite amused by their fanbase, so they check up on the content that they produce every once in a while! They can't help but feel proud that their work can cause such inspiration for others to create as well!

They absolutely adore watching the creations that arise from their own! After all, they were the one who managed to strike a gold mine with the painter, so it's no surprise that they love fan content!

However, as soon as they find your cover of their song, they're immediately on the phone, sending you the same link with a teasing message alongside it! They can't help but find it so interesting that it's actually sort of amusing!

To start teasing you even more, they start listening to the cover itself, and that's when they realize just how serious you were about this! Feeling the intensity in your voice, in the way you express every word...

"What, are you still mad at my teasing?? Come ooonn, you know that I didn't mean it that way! By the way, your cover was great! It was amazing to hear just how much passion you put into every verse! Hehe, if I knew you were this spirited, then maybe you could volunteer to be the main vocals for our next song..."

Of course they continue to tease, but not before letting you know just how well you did! They feel slightly guilty for just taking your cover as a joke at first, but their support afterwards makes up for it, even if they may not think so!

[g0redump]

🎀𝔼𝕥𝕙𝕖𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕝🎀  Calvin Weir-Fields/GN!Reader

THIS FIC IS NSFW - MINORS DNI - 18+ - AGE IN BIO ━━━━━━━━━▲━━━━━━━━━ a/n: First post woo! I’ve really been craving Calvin fics for a hot minute but i genuinely cannot seem to find any that aren’t either dubcon or just plain vanilla. You absolutely cannot tell me that Calvin wouldn’t be into some fucky shit. Just look at him. He reeks mommy kink. This isn’t a mommy kink fic, however, (I might write one if y’all are down but for now I need smth simple to write) this is just blowjob city. This drabble was inspired by a friend.

Warnings: Explicit NSFW, Descriptions of Blowjobs, Pet names (Bunny, Angel, Darling), Throat Fucking, Oral (M receiving), Soft!Dom Calvin, Lots of Praise, Spitting, Blowjob while in meeting, Cum swallowing

How could he say no to you? With your lip pouted ever so gently as you clasped your hands together in mock prayer. He swore you would be the death of him. You knew he would be in a meeting all day with his publishing company. He’d been so busy with writing something new, giving you hardly any of the attention you so well deserved. You had begged and whined for any ounce of his presence, but it just wasn’t possible. He’d been to tired to give you his full attention and he insisted that you deserved him at his best. Yet, here you were on your knees with a hidden glint of sultry desire hidden behind your eyes, right before him with your hands joined. You were teasing him just with your outfit. A soft ivory dress shirt partially unbuttoned at the top to reveal your sternum, skin tight pajama shorts that left nothing to the imagination. God, if you ever dressed this way for anyone else he might have a stroke.  But you didn’t dress this way for anyone else. Just for him. Only for him.

He could already sense your arousal just by the way you conducted yourself. A gentle pant left your lips as you waited for his approval, hands still firmly clasped as if you were asking for forgiveness for being so inconveniently needy.

Calvin glanced up at his laptop screen, taking a moment to contemplate the consequences. He surely would be heavily reprimanded if caught, and the likely hood of him getting caught was high. His moans always gave away his stoic demeanor whenever he was inside of you at any capacity.

Regardless of his better judgement, he slowly nodded and shifted his hands to his belt very carefully. You had been so good for the past few days. How did you not deserve a reward? Your mouth began to water and slack, preparing for the incoming intrusion. You even began to help him out of his tight slacks, bulge becoming visible through the fabric. The cold air hit his shaft and made him hiss under his breath as he tried to cover his noises in the heel of his palm, feigning boredom to his colleagues. Jolting at the slick feeling of your tongue, Calvin coughed through a whine, your mouth making way from base to shaft.

Your hand reached up to grip the base of his cock, stroking and twisting painfully slow. He wanted to order you around already, command you to stop being a brat. He was giving you what you wanted so why were you being difficult? If you wanted to be a brat, he would treat you like one and give all of his lovely coworkers a show as he fucked you silly on his wooden desk. Sweat began to form on his forehead as you continued to suck and jerk him. His hips stuttering when your lips wrapped around his head.  He loved seeing you like this for him, effortlessly milking him dry for all he’s worth. Because you knew that when all was said and done, you would receive your own treat. Biting into his palm he muttered something barely audible, making sure to mute himself before he spoke. “Fuck... You’re so good for me. You’ve wanted this for so long.” His other hand reached down to pet your hair, making sure not to tug on it. He wouldn’t want to hurt his little bunny. His sweet bunny. Who did so good for him and made him feel a way he’s never experienced before. And you were real. You were real and you were here and you were wrapped tightly around his cock. He could feel the tight coil in his stomach begin to form, length twitching into your mouth as he began to grow impatient with this meeting. All he craved right now was to take you there and then on his table, praise you for being so good for him. You knew his weakness. One thing that Calvin had always loved was a good deepthroat. You had mastered your craft in your endeavor to service him.  Up above you, you heard some of the men starting to say their goodbyes, asking Calvin what he would be doing tonight. Taking this opportunity to get a rise out of him, you quickly tucked your thumb under your fist with as much pressure as you could muster and dipped your head forward. He coughed and near flung his chair backwards as you held yourself steady, his pubic hair tickling your nose. He nodded and replied to his editor, “O-Oh! Just dinner, you know how it is! Haha! Oh jeez Scotty is getting into something! Gotta go, bye!” He slammed his laptop screen down and let out the longest drawn out whine. His hands tangled firmly into your hair as he started to relax and ease you back off his length. “Bunny, please... Let me fuck your throat.. P-please I need you so bad.” He always wanted your consent before doing anything rough with you, he wanted to make sure you could savor all the effort he put into fucking you raw, whether it be your mouth or hole. Staring up at him with glossy eyes full of tears, you nodded and gasped for air, the shadow of his dick reaching across your face.  Calvin wasted no time to stand up, leaning his arms onto the desk and tightly gripping your hair, easing you back onto his member. Preparing for the sloppiest blowjob you have ever given in your life, you hollowed out your cheeks and took a large sum of air through your nose. Yes, he was gentle at first but as soon as he was buried fully into your mouth he began to thrust. Thrust with so much power and vigor, you started to see white. He marveled in the way you stared up at him as he fucked your throat, muscles clamping down around his head. Calvin saw drool pooling at the sides of your mouth and smiled at your state. “Take it. You were built just for me, Angel. Don’t forget who fucks your throat this good. Fuck!” He was getting closer, his stomach building so much pressure it was almost painful. His hips began to grow sloppy as he panted and moaned absolutely vulgar things above you. You always learned to experiment new things ever since meeting Calvin. The one thing you were always curious about was if men enjoyed their balls being massaged during blowjobs.  What better way to learn than in the act. Your hands reached up to fondle his balls, rubbing them between your forefinger and thumb. ”A-Angel wait, fuck, I can’t-” That was his breaking point. The sudden feeling of hot seed dripping deep down your throat invaded your senses. You desperately tried to swallow as much as you could, but Calvin’s dick was a near hose. Sticky cum started to spill out onto your chin and your collar bones, tears mixing to make a beautiful sight. Calvin rode out his orgasm with a few gentle thrusts before slowly pulling his half-soft cock out and whimpering. His glasses were near falling off and his hair was wet with sweat and messy.  He looked at you and relished in the sight of you, his angel, his bunny, his entire world. A mess and covered in his cum. If his phone was near, he definitely would have snapped a photo of you. He took his hand from your hair and cleaned a line of seed from your face with his thumb, speaking to you gently as if he did not just tear your throat up. “Open your mouth, darling. We can’t let this go to waste can we? Especially after all that hard work you did.” Your tongue lolled out of your mouth, drool connecting between your lips as you presented your wet cavern for him. He shoved his thumb into your mouth, not before gripping your chin and spitting directly inside. You moaned quietly at the gift and swallowed around his thumb, making sure to wriggle your tongue around his digit. The same exasperated smile you grew to love with was your ultimate reward.  Calvin began to pet your head again, calloused and lanky fingers pushing your hair out of your face. “How about we continue this after dinner?”

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

a/n: HOPE YALL ENJOYED THIS AS MUCH AS I DID WRITING IT. I ALSO HOPE U ENJOYED THIS MELO.

[lady-death-herself]

Pros & Cons About: The Blood Money Update.

↳ Disclaimer: This is mostly jokes. Everyone’s entitled to their opinions, but my sleep deprived self at 6AM made a joke to @wintxrs-hxart​ about making this post, and now that I’m (mostly) awake; I decided to legit write it. 💛

The Positives:

♡ It’s an update to the game! After what feels like literal decades of having little to nothing new; I’m honestly excited for there to be an actual update. It isn’t Mexico; it isn’t Guarma; it isn’t an online photo mode—but it’s smth new, and I’m personally excited about that little detail, even if others aren’t.

* I’m not counting outlaw passes as ‘new content’ ; because yes, there’s new items and emotes included in them, but they don’t add any real meat to the game—and are purely cosmetic based. Which is fine, and I enjoy the passes for the most part; but I’m excited that I can finally do smth, alongside all the collecting I do for Madam Nazar, because it’s affordable and accessible.

♡ The NPCs! SEAN HAS MORE LINES. SEAN HAS MORE LINES. SEAN HAS MORE LINES. SEAN HAS MORE LINES. SEAN HAS MORE LI—

♡ Guido Martelli. Everyone is entitled to their opinions, and I’m not saying you’re wrong; but if you disagree that Guido Martelli isn’t daddy; and doesn’t ooze dom energies—I’m sorry, but we can’t be friends. Seriously, though, even if you don’t particularly care for Signor Martelli; the cutscene that he’s introduced in is definitely one of my top 3! It’s so beautiful, and I really enjoy getting to see each of my bbys walk alongside this fancy ass guy; in outfits that I was like ‘oh yes, this is fancy’ —and then I got shown up by Guido. 😭

Even if you don’t intend to interact with the Blood Money update; I highly recommend you check out the cut scene w/ good weather and lighting, because it’s absolutely worth the gif and screenshot opportunities, tbh.

♡ It’s affordable! Compared to every other role, which are usually a whole 15 gold bars; which is an absolute bitch to get naturally, for most people—the blood money kit is only 5 gold bars; which is unarguably easier to attain over the course of a couple of weeks of casual grinding; as opposed to the time and energy that 15 would take—if you’re similar to me, and rarely have much above 3 gold bars at a time. Just try to avoid makin’ the mistake that I did; where I bought the purchasable Capitale, and was audibly confused that I could buy it again, before realising that I had, in fact, bought the wrong item.

♡ HORSES. EVERYWHERE. Like...I wish I was kidding; but I could probably compile a short video of clips from the early hours of today (15/07/21) alone; of all the random, saddled horses that I’ve come across—and a majority of them are owned horses; very clearly customized; and they’re just standing there. Menacingly. If you enjoy getting to see other people’s horses, but don’t enjoy the anxiety that comes with ‘are y’all gonna blow me up’; this update might be for you; since it’ll probably take R* another year to patch everything, with complete radio silence the entire time, so yk. Vibe, lads.

The Negatives:

♡ Laggg. Legitimately, I’ve spent more time side-eyeing my router; waiting to see if I’m gonna go downstairs to see the little ‘connected’ light has flicked off; than playing a smooth, consistent experience. I play a lot of demanding games; Overwatch, I was an avid Sea of Thieves player, ESO; but none of them make my Xbox overheat and lag quite like Red Dead does, with this new update. Legit sounds like a damn spaceship taking flight, my dudes. It does seem to be mostly when interacting with the Blood Money stuff; but lagging between going from point A to point B has been a significantly bigger issue, at least for me; especially if I’m playing w/ a friend, or around others.

♡ Crashing. Gonna slot this one beneath the ‘lag’ point, because I’ve also been experiencing a significant amount of crashing from the game; like...my game freezing with that ‘DRRRRRRRR’ noise, before promptly booting me from the game; it’ll happen at least 3 times per session, and has been happening to both myself and my friend. It’ll typically allow us back in, after rebooting the game, but it is smth to bear in mind; you’re probably going to experience crashes, during the early stages of Blood Money being a thing.

♡ Very few cosmetics. This isn’t necessarily a complete negative for me, because I’m holding out hope that maybe they’ll add more accessible cosmetics for the role at a later date, ya’know? Not just... ‘yeah, sure, the kit itself is 5 gold; but for 30 gold you can get the outlaw pass, and the kit!’ Like. A majority of the cosmetics for the role are solely in the outlaw pass; which, again, isn’t completely bad—I’m just hoping they’ll add more in the future. Like...I’d love some fancy gun belts for BM; or some custom designs for weapons; just, things that go hand-in-hand with this role—but aren’t locked behind a pay wall of gold. I understand it’s a smaller role, but like...still, lmao.

♡ Griefers. As per usual with any update that can actively encourage other players to destroy other people’s experience; griefers are out in full force—and seem to be camping around the more popular NPCs. We were jumped by a posse of six last night, attempting to complete Sean’s starter mission on our alt accounts; who not only stole our job, but actively came back to where we’d been—and happily killed my horse, and myself, after completing the job. They then proceeded to leave the server; but they were a bunch of triple ranks, with only one double digit rank, actively camping; waiting for somebody to visit Sean MacGuire for a job. Which is just...bruh...get a life.

If you need six whole people to be obnoxious to two; you’re a little bitch. 💛 And even if you don’t; if you kill other people’s horses, deliberately, you’re a little bitch—and I hope your horse bucks you at any inconvenient time. 💛

♡ Enemies are OP. I used to think the Rev. Agents w/ moonshiner were ridiculously broken; since they used to tear through me like nothin’ else—but holy. FUCK. My alt account is almost into the triple digits; but I legit felt like a rank one player going up against a rank 400, when it came to these enemies. Not only are they ridiculously powerful (tearing through golden stats; I blew so many bottles of potent health cures, and potent miracle tonics), but they spawn in gigantic clusters, and all of them will tear through you. It wasn’t super uncommon for my friend & I to just commit to taking whatever it was we needed, and skedaddling, whilst the other had to take the L; because of how fucking many enemies there continuously was—and how OP they were.

And heaven FORBID you attempt to call your horse, to use them to stow a captured NPC, because they WILL just spend the entire time freaking out; and they WILL get you killed significantly quicker; either from bucking you off, after you just got on them—or from you spending a ridiculous amount of time trying to get on them; only for 5 enemies to surround both of you, and kill both you and your horse. And again, the lag is fucking ridiculous.

♡ THE SNAKES ARE ON CRACK, BRUH. I understand that sneks are the heavily featured animal of the role, which is honestly very fitting and 10/10 aesthetic, but whY ARE THERE SO MANY NOPE ROPES EVERYWHERE-- I can’t go five steps in one of those ‘part’ missions, without my horse getting nervous bc ‘oh that’s a danger noodle-- oh god it’s an entire packet of spaghetti, holy fuck’, and everywhere around me is just D A N G E R.

♡ Horses. Everywhere. Dutch was always paranoid about losing the west to the government; but clearly, the government was just a red herring. Our real enemy are the questionably customized horses that are everywhere and anywhere at any given time. Just standing there...m e n a c i n g l y.

[momoliee]

Ch 43 and why I think xqc was both right and wrong for…what he said in those videos.

On why I think what he did can be justified :

Here we have to consider xqc’s background. Xqc’s parents were brutally murdered because of their line of work. As police officers, they were investigating a dangerous case and because of this case that they were investigating, they ended up being killed in a horrendous way. When they died, they left behind a 13 year old son and a 5 year old daughter, who neither had money nor relatives to take care of them. Their two kids had to suffer and go through a lot because their parents chose to not put into consideration the danger they were putting themselves in when they picked up the case. This, of course, traumatized xqc. He suddenly had to care for his sister, care for himself, make money to put food on the table, etc etc (I’ve already written a meta on this). It also gave him nightmares, seeing his beloved parents’ bodies crushed that way and all, and I dare say, Xqc might have suffered from a case of ptsd because of the incident.

So when he saw the video of Qin Ciyan being murdered, murdered because of his career and work, all his triggers were set off at once. Qin Ciyan, sacrificing everything for his line of work, Qin Ciyan leaving behind a daughter and a wife, Qin Ciyan being murdered in a very gore-y sort of way. It set off all his alarms, probably causing an immense shock that resulted in him taking a violent step backwards. He suddenly thought, the guy who killed Qin Ciyan was a mentally ill patient, and I deal with mentally ill patients all the time. What if I die like that too? Is this career worth it? Where would Xie Xue and my wife go if I’m gone? What will happen to them? Isn’t that exactly what happened to my parents? Aren’t I, too, putting myself in danger for my career even tho I have people who are dependent and reliant on me?

And so xqc treated that patient in the hospital the way he did. And he resigned the way he did. And he said all the words that he did. And he decided to cut off he yu the way he did. It was all…a trauma response. Trauma that he never properly healed and progressed and moved past, trauma that’s so bottled and stuffed in without any room to be let out, just suddenly coming out and biting him in the ass.

Now why I think everything he did and said was wrong, despite being justified :

First of all, mentally ill patients should never, ever, be demonized, treated as some sort of lowly animals that can’t be controlled, and especially not by a certified psychologist. As xqc himself once said, they are normal people who have been placed in abnormal environments and so had no choice but to develop a mindset that’s different from others. Of course, there are those who are BORN mentally ill, who are the way they are from the moment they came out of the womb.

Here is the thing tho : all mentally ill patients are victims. They are victims of their own disorders and illnesses, they suffer because of these illnesses more than anyone around them does. Because THEY are the ones experiencing the illness, THEY are the ones battling it and fighting it on a constant daily based. They are the ones who have to treat their own brains and minds as their biggest enemy.

Nevertheless, there ARE patients who are a danger on society. There are patients who will put others at the risk of harm. And those patients are dealt with in special means and ways. When being treated, everything is done to ensure the doctor’s and the patient’s safety. There are people standing ready with sedatives, there are special wards to accommodate them and avoid triggering them, and there are special ways of treating them, understanding their minds and brains, why they do what they do, what drives them to possibly harm others, and how that can be controlled, checked, and dealt with. There are ways to teach them how to deal with their illness, how to control their impulses, and how to coexist with others in society without harming themselves or those around them.

Qin Ciyan’s case was an exception that shouldn’t have been generalized. The son of the woman who died, might have been a mentally ill patient; however, he was an untreated patient who never stepped into the office of a psychologist that could have helped him. He lived his whole life like that, with his mother never telling him that his actions are wrong or trying to redirect him, in extreme poverty too, not even knowing that he was mentally ill or different from others. Most patients like him, don’t even realize that they’re suffering from a disease unless they’re told by a professional that they are. I bet his mother herself didn’t know that her son was mentally ill. The blame here lies on society for not educating the citizens more on mental health, and instead just treating it as a taboo topic and stamping it with harmful and demonizing stereotypes. So if the son’s actions and lash out was to be blamed on his illness, then we shouldn’t blame him. Rather, we should blame his circumstances, his poverty, the ignorance of society on the topic of mental health that allowed him to go on for so long without realizing he needed proper treatment. It is an exceptional case. Not a general one. Not every day the relative of a patient of yours who died comes barging in and stabbing you with knives.

But here’s the thing, it was later proven that, despite being mentally ill, he was completely sane during the time of the murder. Which showed that the murder wasn’t done because his illness caused him to lash out and lose control and be unable to distinguish between right and wrong. It was done because of his own vengeful intentions and wrath. If that’s the case, then why should all mental health patients be blamed for HIS decisions and actions? Why should they all be categorized into the same “can’t control themselves, might kill you at any time” box for a decision that one of them made when he was in a fully sane mindset? How is it their fault? Why didn’t xqc take the fact that he was sane at the time of the incident as any other resident when he chose to say the things he said?

Xqc, for anyone who DOESNT know about your background and what you’ve been through and why you reacted the way you did, of course they will call you a hypocrite! Because xqc, psychologists always get to choose their patients, and if they feel like they can’t handle a certain patient or their expertise isn’t enough to be able to treat said patient, they can easily transfer this patient to a more qualified and confident psychologist. Because xqc, when psychologists are dealing with a patient whom they deemed as dangerous and can suddenly lose control, they deal with such patients with utmost care and control, setting up so many precautions to ensure that no side is harmed during the treatment, at any given moment in time. Because at the end of the day, as a psychologist who must’ve treated countless patients before, you should know that every patient is unique, every patient has a story, every patient has a trigger. They all can’t be generalized into one category. Every case is different. Because as you yourself once said, isolating them from society and keeping them away from everyone else and treating them like some time bomb actually does more harm than good. Such treatment only triggers them further, hurts them further, and dehumanizes them in a discriminatory way. So of course such a video would paint you as a hypocrite, a doctor who lies to his patients, and someone whose previous patients can no longer trust or listen to.

If you wanted to be ‘safe’ for the sake of your family, you could’ve calmly stated that you are no longer qualified or able to deal with those patients with a sound mind anymore as the incident has affected you deeply, instead of going back on all your previous words and doing exactly what you yourself said people shouldn’t do when it comes to mentally ill patients. That’s probably what your colleagues thought when they heard you.

I rest my case by saying that I love xqc to bits, that although this analysis was highly criticizing, I still understand that he himself is a victim that shouldn’t be blamed for his trauma response. Also whatever reaction or treatment he yu will give him will be 10000000% justified. Also I love meatbun for managing to write smth so complicated and intricate and deep and full of layers that can’t be understood unless peeled carefully.

[passable-talent]

hey roe buddy 🥰 i apologise for having been gone for who knows how long cause i cannot keep a track of time but in anyway- i really hope you feel better soon, and you can find motivation to write & post !! maybe you need a break or need to do something out of your routine to help with that— so what’ve you been up to? — anon sun 😼

hello sun!! good to hear from u again!!

ok well I’ve been doing the quarantine life u know, u stay at home all day every day except for once a week I take a hike or a kayaking trip or smth, still been teaching karate over zoom, still been playing Minecraft

oh and sophomore year of college starts tomorrow so I’ve got THAT to look forward to

Idk if what i need is a break bc really ive been taking a break since I haven’t posted a request in like a week (even if that’s unintentional) and sadly I can’t really break my routine because I’m still being really careful abt Covid bc, like, everyone in my family except me is high-risk.

what I really feel like I need is a good combination of attention and passion- like yesterday’s project, I REALLY fucking wanted to do, and banged it out in like 2 hrs, because there were people who wanted to see it before I even posted it. but idk what else I can do that I’m super excited for. and anything like that wouldn’t have been requested, so y’all wouldn’t really care abt it that much, and idk, I’m such an attention seeker, I don’t like it when y’all don’t like something because a) I feel like I’ve disappointed you and b) I don’t get my serotonin of something receiving a lot of notes

so idk. I’m stuck in a deep rut and maybe starting the semester will shake me up again since I’m excited for 2/5 of my classes (I have a class that’s literally just “lets be outside”) but idk and I feel bad abt it

I think part of it might be that requests are closed? like, I realize that a lot of my serotonin was y’all appearing in my inbox and you don’t do that as much now so

idk I’m just experiencing life rn

-🦌 Roe

[kinktae]

I’m so proud of you for not only finishing the masterpiece that is Bitchin *chef kiss* but also getting the final chapter out when you were hoping. Every little win should be celebrated so make sure to give yourself some credit x

bitchin 10 asks (finally!)

thefouranemoi said: just finished bitchin! it was soooooos soooooooooo good! im a sucker for a really good slow burn but this wasn't dragged out or overly dramatic. it was perfect and im so glad y/n and jk have each other. thank you for such a series!

sadlemonboy said: i read bitch’n 10 on the bus and was trying so hard to just not cry. i was so good i love it so much. just like thank you

Anonymous said: WHAT'S WITH YARA AND TAE??? ARE THEY TOGETHER??? WILL WE EVER KNOW???

Anonymous said: Buttt just out of curiosity what happened with Yara and Taee, did they became fvckbuddies or smth

forvever-ddaeng said: STOP IM FUCKING SAD ITS OVER :( WHEN I READ “I SLEPT WITH ERIK” I WANTED TO STAB MY EYES OUT LIKE WTF BUT THE PAPER WAS HONESTLY SO FUCKING CUTE IM SO HAPPY WITH HOW THIS TURNED OUT I LOVE YOU AND YOUR BRAIN 🥺 p.s. do you think you’d ever do a drabble or epilogue where we get more of yara and tae? Totally cool if you don’t want to I was just wondering

O.O

Anonymous said: BITCHIN PART 10 WAS SO GOOD!!!! I WAS CRYING LAST MIGHT, THINKING THAT Y/N AND JK WERE JUST GOING TO PART WAYS,,,,HEKDHBFKD FUCKIN HAD ME SCARED. OMG SUCH A GOOD SERIES!!!!! I CAN'T WAIT FOR THE NEXT ONE.

Anonymous said: AHHH I LOVED BITCHIN SO MUCH!!! This has always been one of my favorite fics right from the beginning and probably will always be one of my favorites. You did such an amazing job. I’m sad Bitchin era is over but I’m excited for whatever era that will be next:) Thank you for writing this, ILY

Anonymous said: THANK U FOR BITCHIN IT WAS AMAZING

Anonymous said: Bitchin was one wild ride 😭😭 I loved it and can’t wait for more of your rewind series 🥺💕💕

Anonymous said: 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺💜💜💜😩😩😩😩- my reaction to bitchin final (for now)

Anonymous said: REST IN PEACE BITCHIN AAAAKAAKK.,?!@ FOREVER IN MY HEART GOD DAMMIT I CANT STOPCRYING ARE U HAPPY ROSE DID U LIKE CRUSHING MY FEELINGS LIKE THIS OIOOHNMY GOD 😭😭😭😭

jessiejellybean said: The only thing I can say about bitchin finale is GAJSOSLALHSISSAOWLLANSHSJAKA SERIOUSLY ITS SO GOOD THIS SERIES AS A WHOLE IS UNBELIEVABLY GOOD 10/10 WOULD RECOMMEND

Anonymous said: bitchin was so good😭 i am BEYOND devastated knowing that ill no longer be getting notifs on another update🥺it was so fun to be a part of this journey consisting of having to anticipate for another part to be posted for as long a month! but never have i regretted any second of waiting bcs the result came out so well written and interesting u might as well make it into a hard copy or a movie and get paid loads🤩 keep up the good work❤️

Anonymous said: Funnily enough, you were the first EVER bts blog that I followed because I thought you were funny as hell. Then, you posted part 1 of bitchin and on god I swear I signed my life away for bitchin!jk 🤡. I've officially lived through an era 🥺🥺. I'll miss them but I'll always be the biggest yaraxtae whore 🥵💦 -♒

sydney--chan said: This might sounds totally stupid or whatever, but bitchin' means a lot to me and I'm so happy that you decided to share it with us. Not to get all sad n shit but I started reading this during a really rough period in my life. This story allowed me to forget about all the stuff that was going on, even for just a little bit. This story means so much to me and seeing it end is like making me 😭😭😭 this is the perfect story and I love you and thank you for creating such a beautiful story 

Anonymous said: THAT WAS SO GOOOOOOOD the way u wrote about jungkook’s feelings tugged at my heartstrings like my heart physcially legitimately hurt ur writing was so spot on!! all the details!! Totally worth staying up even though i have class tm

Anonymous said: miss rose i just wanted to stop by and say thank you for always giving us such masterpieces. as a jk whore (ot7 whore in general but ya know) bitchin was just *chefs kiss* i literally looked forward to Sundays bc I knew there was a chance a new chapter would be posted lol. I am sad to see bitchin end but am also suuuuper excited to support your new fics and anything else you come out with. you’re the best. love ya 💕

Anonymous said: Bitchin' 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 I'm going to say this for the umpteenth time... IT WAS SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO GOOD. It's one of the best fanfictions out there and I'm gonna re-read it at least five more times. Thank you so much for blessing us with this bounty! Take care! 💜💜

koru-rhi said: I should really be asleep but I had to finish Bitchin & I went back and reread it from the beginning to the end and I just want you to know how much I loved it! It was a beautiful smuttyfluffyangsty ride and I can’t wait to read more of your writing! I totally lost it at Everything I Didn’t Say 😫 btw.

Anonymous said: Wow bitchin is over... what is there to look forward to now on this app :(

Anonymous said: I AM NOT CRYING, YOU ARE ALL CRYING I CNA IT THE END DNDMSM MY POOR HEART. AGHHHH SNAMAMA PLEASE,WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME. YOU ARE KILLING ME. I DON'T KNOW IF I AM SAD OR HAPPY OR BOTH.

Anonymous said: UGH! bitchin 10 was amazing *chef’s kiss* I sobbed, I felt their earnest love for each other. A real roller coaster just like my emotions rn. Ngl I sound like a middle aged white mom giving a book review 💀 anygays I just wanted to say that I love ur stories and they’re always so well written

betysotelo18 said: Bitchin'...has me in tears! For some reason I thought this was going to have smut...Who needs smut! This was PERFECT! The damn piece of paper made tears roll down my cheeks! I loved every single chapter. Thanks for sharing

deewhalien21 said: Waiting bitchin part 10 was hell, couldn’t imagine living without them now😔 I’m going to miss them, like a lot. And thank u for good memories with these people mam, thank u for making me experiencing heart break that I could never have. I’m waiting another great stories❤️😔

lalumaia said: That was just perfect, Rose. Thank you, I love you

Anonymous said: hi, bitchin was soooo good and every time you uploaded i felt so happy and excited for the next one, thank you for all your work!

Anonymous said: when i saw the warning said “angst” i was so worried they wouldn’t end up together :( thank you for this rose this was such a beautiful story and experience!!! love u lots angel

Anonymous said: ROSE HOLY SHIT THAT WAS SO GOOD !!!!!!!!

unknowntalesx said: ROSE IM CRYING WHAT THE FUCK I LOVED THAT SO MUCH MY HEART WAS BEING SQUEEZED AND TORN AND I HAD/HAVE LITERAL TEARS RUNNING DOWN MY FACE

Anonymous said: OMG CANT BELIEVE BITCHIN IS OVER 😭😭 i loved everything from the beginning till the end 💜 THANK U FOR WRITING SUCH AMAZING STORY

Anonymous said: On god bitchin is the best series I’ve ever read on this app. The ending was great too! Just sad that it’s over :( thanks for writing it

Anonymous said: FAM YOU GOT ME CRYING IN THE CLUB WITH BITCHIN PT. 10! I absolutely adore your work so much and Bitchin was absolutely beautiful and so fantastic to read. I love it and you so much! Thank you for giving us something so beautiful ❤️ P.S. now take a long break girl because you deserve it

Hi friends! I can’t even begin to explain how much every single comment/like/reblog/ask in regards to bitchin has meant to me

[alexiaugustin]

Okay I'm gonna make this one post about my post yesterday and people's reaction to it and after that I'm not gonna mention it again because I don't wanna be involved in all that fandom drama

First of all I would like to clarify something about my post to prevent further misunderstandings. When I said "so go ahead straight people n fill my asks with hate [...]" I was in no way trying to say that only straight people watch this show or that just because, I as a queer person, gave my opinion on this matter every other queer person should/is having the same opinion as me. I read some posts and realized that this sentence was phrased really badly and I also wasn't aware that both of these statements from above are a huge problem in this tag since I only ever was in the wtfock tag when s3 was airing. So this misunderstanding is something I'm apologizing for and I hope that it didn't cause anyone any pain. That being said I would like to explain what I actually meant by it.

I'm aware that this show is watched by both queer and straight people and that's amazing and good. But one of my issues with this show (and in general all skam remakes) is that suddenly there are also a lot of straight people telling queer people how to feel about the representation, writing decisions etc... Of course everyone is allowed to give their opinions on tv shows and neither straight people should police queer people around nor (and that's important because so many people misunderstood me there) should queer people police other queer people around how to feel about this show. Nobody should send hate asks to anyone ever. But I do think that there's a difference between queer people discussion something they might or already have experience(d) in their daily life than people who might try to understand but will never ever fully get to understand because they just aren't experiencing it themselves. So if I say something that offends a queer person and this person replies to it maybe even a bit harshly because after all I offended them, that's something I can understand and I'm willing to listen to this person even tho they might not be 100% friendly. But straight people who have never experienced and will never experience the things I'm criticizing have no right to be angry and rude because let's make this clear; they just aren't in the place to be offended by a queer person talking about queer rep. They just aren't. And yes, in the skam fandoms are a lot of straight people freaking out as soon as someone criticizes their fav remake and it really rubs me the wrong way. I'm always up for discussion with everyone and my post a) stated that this was just my opinion and b) I even said in the tags that I respect other people's opinion on this.

And if u just saw a reblog and didn't read the tags then sorry but that really ain't my problem maybe make sure to read the whole post ur gonna ramble about on your own blog or in other people's asks next time because it would definitely prevent some misunderstandings. I would also really love to mention that I think that it's absolutely unnecessary to send hate asks to other blogs that had nothing to do with my post and now had to deal with the "drama" I started?? But maybe it's just me who thinks so. Honestly if y'all wanted to know what I meant with certain things I said you could have just asked me instead of sending those questions to others but okayyy

And for the people saying "If you can't handle criticism why did you tag it?" first of all I can handle constructive criticism really well and would have replied to it but people starting drama and being really disrespectful is something else and I didn't want to explain myself over and over again that's why I'm writing this one post now.

Anyway I don't even know what kind of tumblr rules y'all read and if I just missed them but where did anyone ever say that you're only allowed to posts memes and jokes in tumblr tags. And if you have something to criticize you just can't tag it so... nobody ever sees it?? I'm sorry but where is the logic. Personally I love to read criticism on tv shows, books, movies and such. Because constructive criticism is so so important to broaden your horizon and see things from different perspectives, that's something so important yet people aren't willing to make an effort and don't even try to understand why other people think the way they do. That's exactly why ignorance and misunderstandings exist. Because nobody seems to be able to listen to people apart from the people who 100% agree with them. Everyone is just living in a bubble where one's self confidence gets booted because people are constantly validating your opinion and nobody ever dares to get out of there to see and understand other people's views because everyone just wants to have an opinion that is the "right" and "valid" one.

The ability to love a tv show and still being able to say "but I don't agree with character xy when he said this and that" or "my fave is problematic and I'm aware but this show means the world to me and I can love it and still understand why people might dislike certain aspects of it" is just hands down one of the best abilities to have on here. And y'all should learn to develop them because people who can't take criticism are seriously annoying.

I also didn't like that everyone just jumped to conclusions about me and my life. I'm sorry but do you know where I'm from and if homophobia is really common in my country?? No you don't. Do you know what has happened to me and what I've been through in life?? You don't either. You don't even know what aspects of the show I was criticizing because I didn't say it anywhere, yet y'all started writing essays about some scenes and why they weren't badly written the second I posted this. That is just proof of the fact that you can't stand people criticizing a show that you love. Because y'all didn't even care enough to ask me what my issues are with that show, you just freaked out because I was criticizing smth you love.

Anyway I'm sorry that this is so long thanks to everyone who read till the end, I really appreciate it. And I'm aware that I said "y'all" a lot because that's just how I always talk and ofc I know that there were also a lot of people who asked questions before freaking out and respected my opinion no matter if I they shared mine or not. Thank you so much for that<33

[szopenhauer]

What would you call your body type? hourglass? vase? chubby yet underweight? worse version of Juno Temple’s body? petite?

When is the next time you’ll be at work? when I’ll have a job lol

Are you good at wrapping gifts for others? am not, thx for gift bags!

Do you have a dirty clothes hamper in your room? besides pajama I put all my dirty clothes into laundry bin

Do you enjoy big holiday dinners? no

Is your vision good? yes

Is there any piece of jewelry you’re constantly wearing? recently - necklace from my gf

Is your present hair color, natural? it is

What makes you the most angry when it comes to people? where should I start...

Have you ever felt as though you were drifting apart from a best friend? yeah, and I did, more than once/one person

Have you ever worn color contacts? I haven’t worn any contacts

What’s the best thing about a hug? dunno

Do you buy your friends gifts? sure

What color headphones do you own? light blue

Have you ever shopped on Urban Outfitters? I wish but home stuff, not clothes

Would you rather wear necklaces or earrings? my ears ain’t pierced

Do you enjoy watching fights? in action movies?

Have you ever been in a physical fight? I’ve been hit/punched/slapped 

Do you tend to talk badly about people? I complain about people often

Where are your parents as of now? my dad’s working and my mom is calling him from their room, I turned music on to not listen to their conversation even tho my head hurts a bit

Does your computer cooperate most of the time? pfft

Does your family have any cheesy traditions? hmm...

Are you wearing make up at the moment? obviously not

Favorite television channel? I don’t watch TV

Describe the worst day of your life: ugh...

Name something that’s your favorite color: lime, sun, darkness

Do you judge by appearances? kinda

Do you follow a certain religion? Christianity

What are you most self conscious about? I’m insecure in general

Do you have any family members who live out of town? yup

Do you consider yourself short? I am short

Hoodies or jackets? why not both? there ain’t a big difference between those

Are you outside a lot? nope

Have you ever been dumped via text message? I dumped someone via text message

Do you like dreamcatchers? not anymore

What is your favorite letter of the alphabet? T?

Do you believe in any particular curses? I’m afraid

What movie scares you the most? that I watched or don’t wanna see?

Do you work with any close friends? I don’t work

Do you listen to any country music? few songs of Dolly Parton and Johnny Cash

Do you still sleep with any stuffed animals? bunch

Are you normally an independent person? I don’t believe you can be totally independent, you can be more or less but never 100% and I wish I wasn’t so dependent

Ever been judged because of your weight? I’ve been told I must have anorexia or bulimia which is a lie

Do you regret meeting any of your exes? obvi

What’s the meanest thing someone’s called you? I’ve heard so many names that it’s hard to choose

Do you own any brown clothing? I might but I can’t remember atm

What is the first digit of your phone number? personal

Do you tend to sleep a lot? wouldn’t say so, especially recently

Silver or gold jewelry? dunno, depends

What’s the best gift you’ve ever received? I’ve received lots of goodies

When was the last time you showered? last night

Would you consider yourself attractive? me? r u kidding?...

Has anyone made you mad today? mom - slightly

Favorite smell: sigh...

Are you afraid of insects? dead ones and maggots

Do you have any children? noooo

If so, what are their names? -

Have you ever lived on a farm? been visiting my aunt, I enjoyed it

Ever played any sports? we all had to in PE 

Are you afraid people won’t accept you? I know they won’t

Are you, for the most part, an honest person? I try to be?

Did you make prank phone calls as a child? no way

Do you like to make donations? if I had money... but I donate old stuff at times 

Meet anyone from your past lately? yep

Have you ever called a suicide line? nope and no comment

Have you ever caught something on fire? my fingers 

Have you ever climbed a mountain before? I think it was a hill actually

At what age do you plan to get married? about 30 if at all

Have you kissed anyone on the lips within the past 12 hours? I have not What’s something you need to go shopping for? food tomorrow? How many hours did you sleep last night? fallen asleep before 2 am then woke up twice until 5 am as I felt bad and then finally about 10 am  In the past week have you watched cartoons? She-ra Do/did you do good in school? very then I got worse gradually Who are you most like in your family? look more like mom but have personality and interests more like my dad

Last thing you had to drink? I’m drinkin’ water now Is there any part of your body that hurts? there is Where is your biological mother right now? balcony

If you say “haha”, do you sometimes put space between them? [Ex. Ha ha] then it has a different (sarcastic) meaning

Do you have fruit flies in your house? only sometimes when there are fruits in the kitchen

Have you ever seen a spelling error in a book that you read? yeah and that annoys me 

Do you type “mhm” a lot? mhm hehe

Have you ever tried eating peanut butter to get rid of your hiccups? it helps? :o

Do you have a garage? we don’t as we don’t own a car

Do you think it would be cool if one of your family members was your neighbor? but I live with my parents 

Do you remember the first time you experienced the Internet? not exactly the very first time

Are you still in your pajamas? am not

Is Jiminy the Cricket your favorite Disney character?   sorry but no

If you were Noah, would you procrastinate building the ark?   it made me laugh

Do you know anyone that snores really loud?   my mother

What kind of purse do you have? I own many

If you were only allowed to make one more phone call to a loved one, who would you speak to?   my dad

“Age is nothing but a number.” Is that true? said a pedo

What’s the most interesting thing about you? depends on a perspective?

Have you ever lost someone to suicide? If so, how did you cope? I haven’t

What’s your most prized possession? Why? personal

What’s your favorite part of speech? mic drop, jk

Would you rather have it all or know it all? does have it all means also have all illnesses? then thx but no

Do you actually read privacy policies when signing up for new things? only part about paying, I check if it’s free or else I’m paranoid about it later What’s the most dangerous thing you would like to do now? eat what I can’t Did you invite classmates to your birthday parties? only my best friends Do you like when things are color coordinated? nah

Have you ever participated in one of those “guess how many jelly beans, mints, etc. are in this jar!” contest? if so, have you ever won? I didn’t win Can you juggle? can’t

Have you ever mistaken a ringing phone on TV or in a movie for your own? not only, sometimes there is a sound in a song and I think it was my phone or smth  How often do you use bobby pins? very rarely Are you in a good mood right now? I’m in one of the worst moods actually Who was the last person in your bedroom? my mother Are you listening to music, if so, what song? I’m not in the mood Have you ever taken a picture with Santa when you were little? I wish I had What color is the sky outside? light blue with white clouds Have you ever rolled down a steep, grassy hill for fun? I haven’t

Do any of your neighbors have dogs? some, one of the dogs is barking 24/7 and I hate it

Have you ever bought a fragrance by a celeb because you liked who it was? that’s stupid Do you normally wash your hands in warm or cold water? warm Do you watch The Big Bang Theory? used to Do you think about the way things used to be often? overthink, feel nostalgic, miss stuff Do you know someone who has purple in their hair? Or do you? not anymore Are you a competitive person? competitions are too stressful How often do you get an upset stomach? all the damn time Do you have any ceramic animals in your house or outside? we do :D What’s worse : A clingy person or someone who doesn’t care enough? I prefer someone balanced, in between How many dresses do you own? just a few Do you read instructions? partially Have you ever seen the show Wife Swap? I heard of it

What was the last thing you took a picture of? flowers for my parents

What’s the worse type of weather in your opinion? very cold and snowy Would you rather read or write? depends Growing up, did you see your cousins often? no Where was your first job at? dunno what I can count as my first job Is life a party to you? as a person who doesn’t like parties...  Who are you tired of seeing in the news a lot? I’m tired of news in general When was the last time you flew a kite? as a kid :( How long have you had Facebook? I don’t remember how old I had my first account but this one is new, had it just couple of months  have you ever wanted to be a dentist?:  no way in hell

does your cell phone have a charm hanging from it?:  new cellphones don’t have the spot for that like the older models did and that’s really sad, I had charms on my blackberry

what color was the last thing you drank?: transparent

what was the last game you played online?:  I’m playing Raid shadow legends 

do you have something with your school’s name on it?  not anymore

which one of your friends would make the best roommate?:  my dad as I already live with him 

how old were you when you first learned how to read?: I learned very soon

do you have a favorite cup or mug? if so, describe it: I don’t use my fav ones as I worry I will ruin them

who was on top the last time you had sex?: personal

what color was the last blanket you used?: it’s blue with sun and moon

if you don’t have a car, what is your dream car?: DeLorean or jeep

have you ever wanted a pet chinchilla?:  yep

has gum ever gotten stuck in your hair?:  będąc w lokalnym sklepiku z tatą zauważyłam, że żując miałam włosy w buzi i się wlepiły i powiedziałam ojcu o tym, a ten mnie pociągnął za czuprynę i guma wyskoczyła mi z paszczy i zawisła na tych nieszczęsnych kosmykach i ekspedientka to widziała, chciałam się zapaść pod ziemię, nie pamiętam jednak co się stało potem czyli jak odlepiliśmy to świństwo oraz kiedy właściwie

[acrobaticcatfeline]

Logan and His Little Bumble Bee (Single Dads AU) Chapter 4!!!

Word Count: 3643

TW: swearing, deceit, vague mentions of vague trauma, arguments, crying, unconscious projecting, one quick mention of homophobia, roman is a big nervous a lot lmk if I missed anything!!!

Notes: This was out way sooner than I expected. So I made this one revolving around Roman and Dmitri for once, because we don’t get that much and now he has thoughts and things to say!!! Anyways it starts a bit angsty but its really soft and fluffy and I love my baby gays. It’s dialogue heavy this time around, it’s almost as if my writing changes subconsciously depending on which character I am writing. Huh. I hope you enjoy it, I worked my butt off for it. Previous chapter here, first chapter here!

Summary: “you are 15 years old! Absolutely not!!!” Logan is having trouble letting Roman be himself, projecting his own bad experiences on him without realizing it. Roman and Dmitri kiss a lot because they’re really soft and really gay.

“you are 15 years old! Absolutely not!!!”

“dad people in my grade have been dating since they were 10 come on!”

“and they're irresponsible and don’t know better! Roman it is not a good idea-”

“Logan dear be rational; kids are supposed to-”

“NO!”

Everyone paused as Logan screamed. Roman had flinched and Logan winced knowing he caused it, but he couldn’t just stop at this point.

“Roman, dating this young is a bad idea, take it from me. I mean that was when I got together with mercy-”

“you can’t say that like it’s the biggest mistake you’ve made dad!!! Because… because if it was then I would have-I know it ended badly with you and her, but you were still happy at the time! You can’t just keep me from experiencing things because you're scared dad. I'm not you. I-I need to live my own life eventually, and if I don’t know how to then what am I gonna do when I'm an adult?”

“you don’t- Roman that isn't necessary to be happy, I mean look at me and Patton-”

“well maybe I don’t want to pine for someone for 9 years!!! Maybe, maybe I want to live my life now, instead of waiting in fear!!! Maybe I want my happily ever after before I settle down, maybe, for once, I want to live my life without worrying that I'm a disappointment to my parents!!! I know you don’t mean to but you just, you make everything so hard! You-you have so much, so much hope. That I'm going to be this perfect kid and I'm gonna grow up to be amazing, and its exhausting! I want to make a decision without worrying that I'm going to do wrong by you! And then mercy… mercy never saw me for me, and I always had to be perfect for her and she's gone now but I'm just so tired dad! I'm tired of trying to fit inside this perfect box that I think you have for me, I want to be a teenager, I want to date, I want to go to parties, I want to make mistakes and not cry myself to sleep thinking I've made you hate me. It’s so hard to try to make you happy all the time. I want to have a chance to just make me happy.”

Logan stared at Roman. He had been trying so hard to protect him and take care of him, and all he had been doing was overwhelming him. He had never meant to do any of it, Roman was right, but he went back through his brain and it hurt to see that he had unconsciously pushed his son onto a pedestal that was impossible to escape from. He was never disappointed in him, whether he did good or bad or made mistakes, he had always tried to show that he was proud no matter what. He felt tears welling in his eyes and saw Roman twist uncomfortably. He felt Patton's arm wrap around his shoulders, but he couldn’t stay there, his mind was racing too fast. He was catastrophizing he knew, but he couldn’t so easily stop himself. His head was knocked out of the process when Roman ran into his arms, wrapping him in a hug. He let his arms fold around his sons waist, letting a few tears fall.

“I'm sorry, I'm so sorry dad I just- I needed to tell you and I was going to tell you in a nicer way, a better planned way but then this happened and it all came out I'm sorry dad I didn’t mean to make you cry”

“it’s- its fine Ro. I needed to hear that from you. I'm. I'm sorry Ro I didn’t mean it. I try so hard to show that I'm always proud of you, god you have helped me so much and I've never realized that I was making you feel so pressured I'm sorry bee, I’ll try harder, I didn’t know-”

Logan’s head was buried in Roman’s chest, it was the benefit of his son growing taller than him, he could hide his tear stained face out of sight. He sniffed a bit, rubbing his eyes before letting go of him. He smiled widely at Roman.

“I was wrong to have set such impossible standards. It was wrong of me to treat you like I had a second chance at my childhood. I really, just want the best for you but-”

He took a sharp inhale and looked him in the eyes.

“but its your life. And-and if you want, if you want to date. Then, I-I support you completely. Because, because I love you Roman. So so much.”

His eyes teared up again, and he let out a choked laugh while rubbing his eyes clear. Roman smiled at him and hugged him again, thanking him profusely. At that point Virgil walked back inside. He looked at the scene, sending a questioning glance at Patton over the other two. Patton let out a small smile and shook his head, to which Virgil shrugged and went upstairs without a further thought.

 “so, he was fine with it?”

“I mean he wasn’t, but I explained a few things and he's fine with it now. It took a little bit of the harsher truths to be spilled for him to understand my point, and a few tears, but yeah.”

“wow. I haven’t seen… either of you cry in my entire time knowing you.”

“yeah it doesn’t happen often. I think the last time I saw my dad cry was when he told me that mercy wasn’t coming back.”

“geez that’s a long time. And its always baffled me that I've never seen you cry; I've known you since you were 2.”

“yeah, I'm a uh, private crier. I don’t think I've cried in front of people really since I could talk.”

“fuck man how the hell did you manage that?”

“… I mean I don’t remember it, but I think it was a leftover from when I still lived with mercy.”

“what.”

“eh, it doesn’t matter.”

“no wait what? What did she do to you?”

“pfft, I just told you Vee, I don’t remember. I get vague fuzzy feelings that are sorta like if memories were feelings, but otherwise I have no idea.”

“that’s fucked up man”

“meh. Anyways back to the original topic, soooo can I get Dmitri's number?”

“oh my god.”

“oh, and you're at 75 cents.”

“shit.”

“a dollar!”

 Virgil had handed over his number easily, smirking as Roman gave him a hug before dashing into his own room. Roman had immediately sent Dmitri a text, ‘hey, its Roman! Dads way more chill now so I stole your number from Virgil’ and he had responded almost immediately.

‘neat so are we gonna talk about what that was?’

‘I mean, I thought it was p straight forward, but I mean if you think we should?’

‘I mean yeah but’

Radio silence for a minute

‘but like, idk if you want this to be serious or smth like, casual. I mean I don’t care either way’

‘oh! Well something serious sounds nice!’

‘thank god I was not prepared for something casual regardless of what I said’

‘pfft, its fine tough guy’

‘if that nickname sticks you gotta use it around rem, it'll make him bug out’

‘alrighty! Tough guy~’

‘ouch yo chill it with that I'm in public’

‘pfft ur a dork Dee!’

‘I am absolutely not a whale’s penis and I'm offended you would even imply it’

‘oh my god I'm gonna break up with you’

‘nooooo don’t do that I'm too dark and mysterious to be broken up with for that’

‘dark and mysterious my butt! The only dark thing about you is your humor and the only mysterious things about you are your eyes!’

‘babe I have a reputation to keep up!’

‘guess your rep will just have to fit me in there somewhere then!’

‘god you are adorable, I gtg before you somehow make me start uwuing at my family’

‘uwu bye bye mistew dmitwi!!!’

‘god its disgusting kill it with fire’

‘love you too Dee! <3<3<3’

‘<3’

Roman set down his phone afterwards, feeling the butterflies attacking his insides like rabid animals. He changed the tab over to his YouTube and put on his headphones, listening to his curated BTS playlist, starting off with answer: love myself, bopping along and humming. He switched the tab and scrolled through Tumblr smiling at the posts about his favorite superheroes.

 The next week was absolutely blissful for Roman, he alternated between sitting at his table with a few of his acquaintances who he would chat with about his hyperfixations, and with Dmitri and his friends. Virgil had a different lunch hour luckily, otherwise he would have been slightly embarrassed. But hilariously the first day he sat with Dee, his friends were caught off guard as a boy in soft pastels and stonewashed jeans sat beside Dmitri and was immediately nestled underneath his arm. There were words signed across the table and Dee would chuckle and respond which sent their eyes flying to Roman in his seat as he ate his sandwich oblivious to the reason he was being stared at, just sending kind smiles back at them.

When lunch had ended, he had stood on his toes and kissed Dee’s cheek and his friends all had the shocked looks on their faces again. He ran off to class and had forgotten about the whole interaction afterwards. He was only reminded after school through a text from Dee.

‘sorry about my friends at lunch, they're judgmental shits. I told them off but knowing them they might continue to be asshats anyways’

‘huh. Didn’t even notice. I really need to get around to fully learning sign, I have the smallest feeling that if I'm hanging out with you more it might possibly be useful.’

‘meh, if I really need you to know something and I can’t talk I’ll just text you.’

‘mmm but I still want to learn! Anyways what were they saying’

‘oh they were being dicks about your clothes and then they were being shits about me dating you, they're assholes, I only hang out with them cuz coach had everyone learn sign for me and they're the only people I can talk to during the school day’

‘oh, that’s rude! Do you want me to stop hanging out with you at lunch?’

‘no not at all, I just want you to know what you're getting into’

‘mhm!’

The next time Roman sat with them, he had sent about 8 insults to the people around the table while Dee wasn’t looking, essentially ‘fuck off you judgmental homophobic dicks’ and after that the group shut their traps about him and Dee.

 The week after, Dmitri was busy almost always. There was a big game this weekend and he Remy and Virgil were always either practicing, doing schoolwork, or sleeping for the most part. He would send good morning and good night texts but that was mostly it and Roman felt dumb for missing him so much. Virgil invited him to practice after seeing him sitting around staring at his phone like a kicked dog.

He had sat on the bleachers, watching the coach drill them and them playing near their best. They had taken a rest and Dmitri had made his way up to him, a giant bottle of water in hand. He smiled and let out a croaked hello.

“oh, Dmitri when was the last time you spoke?”

He had coughed and held up a 6 on his fingers. Roman pouted and placed a kiss on his chapped lips. Dmitri waved his hand to say it isn't a problem with a smile on his face and it made Roman pout more and kiss him again, wrapping his arms around himself after. Dee ruffled his hair and went to say something when the whistle blew calling them back. He sighed and stood up, signing ‘I love you’ before rushing back to the field. Roman sat in silence, watching them play once again.

 Roman was beaming. The game was today and that meant he would get Dmitri back afterwards along with Remy and Virgil. He was filled with jitters; he knows the team had been working tirelessly for the whole week and he was excited to see his friends kick the rival schools butt! He was rushing Patton out the door again, just like he was a few weeks before but for a separate reason this time.

He wasn’t expecting the time at the game to fly as quick as it did, but here he was. It was nearing the end and they weren’t very far ahead, and the worry was clear on the teams faces. And then Dmitri had the ball! The crowd roared in surprise and excitement as he weaved around the opposition. He got caught near the goal and Roman was on the edge of his seat as Dmitri kicked the ball straight into the goal. The cheers were immediate, the buzzer signaling the end of the game followed a few seconds later. Roman was up and standing at the edge of the guardrail of the bleachers jumping up and down and screaming. He raced down and met Dmitri at the entrance of the showers, looking around before tugging him off towards the underside of the bleachers. He spoke in barely restrained squeals.

“Dee I'm so proud of you!!! Oh, my goodness you did so well!!! I can’t even-”

Dmitri cut him off with a kiss, one that Roman reciprocated immediately, wrapping his arms around his neck and tilting his head as well as he could with the height difference they had when suddenly he wasn’t standing on his own feet but being held in the air from his waist. He broke the kiss with a squeak, placing his hands-on Dmitri's shoulders as he was hoisted in the air by a happy Dee. He squeaked again as he was spun around before being set on the ground. When he was steady again, he looked up at Dmitri with an amused but confused face.

“we did it”

“you did! Had you not processed that yet?”

“not really no.”

“oh, my goodness you are a dork.”

“listen if you had scored the last goal you would be a little stunned too”

“valid however-”

“oh, just shut up and kiss me again you prep”

“gladly”

“ey before you two start making out you might want to go talk to the team? They're sort of wanting to congratulate you, but you disappeared.”

Roman froze in embarrassment at his brother catching them. Dmitri just smirked and turned to face him.

“listen if any of them could get a significant other they would understand. But considering that even you haven’t gotten the nerve to ask out Remy yet, I guess they wouldn’t so I guess I should grace them with my presence, huh babe?”

“hey, fuck off my little brother didn’t need to know I like your brother!”

“oops!”

Roman giggled a bit at the blush that spread across Virgil's face. He nudged Dmitri.

“be nice honeybee. And he's right, I stole you from your festivities! We should head back over; we can be cute later”

“nonsense, that implies that you can stop being cute”

“bluhhhh that’s my brotherrrrr come on you two, be gross later”

 “DMITRI THAT WAS LEGENDARY!!!”

Dee had a cocky look on his face as his teammates congratulated him, Remy running up and tackling in a hug at first sight. He chuckled wordlessly at his brother who was screaming praise at him and then dragging him into the showers. The team followed them in all continuing to shout praise and Roman contemplated following as well. He eventually just went in after about 10 minutes, finding Dmitri surrounded by his team and. He blanched and turned around a corner, hiding his face in his hands. On the other side, Dmitri sat with blue jeans and no shirt, still dripping water from his hair. He took a few big breaths before wandering back over, not trying to push past anyone and just standing where he knew Dmitri could see him. He flushed when Dmitri smiled and winked at him over the heads of his teammates, curling up in his arms and covering his face again. He whispered to himself in his hands

“gosh I'm really gay and he's unfairly pretty”

It wasn’t much longer before the group had filed out, done with the celebration, Virgil given him a nudge as he left. He walked in, seeing Dmitri finally pulling out his shirt, and Roman couldn’t help but turn away with a bit of shyness hitting him again.

“what's up Roman? You good babe?”

“mhm! You just um,”

His mouth felt dry as salt and he was wondering when that happened.

“you look nice…”

“pfft you're a nerd.”

Roman’s mind came up with several scenarios for what could happen as he stood up to kiss him. Of course, all that happened was hands around his waist as Dee leant down to give him an easier time. He still felt fuzzy but ignored it as Dmitri pulled away to put his shirt on, quickly pulling on his leather jacket on afterwards before placing a kiss on Roman’s temple and grabbing his hand.

“come on, I'm stealing you, my folks are treating the team to ice cream and pizza and they’ve been wanting to meet you.”

“wh-what? Wait you talk about me with your parents?”

“Remy sold me out day one, but yeah, they seem genuinely interested in meeting you, so I mean why not?”

“oh. Ok then. I should probably tell my dads first, but I’ll be back!”

He ran up to Logan, wrapping him in a hug before explaining everything to him and Patton. Logan looked unsure but Patton backed him up.

“Lolo, Virgil's going to be there too, and it’s not like he's going to be stranded! Plus, there's a new diner that opened a bit ago that I've been wanting to take you to!”

“…ok. You have your keys and your wallet and your phone, right?”

“yes dad!”

“…ok then. Go have fun. Let me or pat know when you are coming home.”

“ok! See you guys tonight! Love you!!!”

 The party was far more calm than Roman had expected, most of the team dipping early on leaving just him and Virgil as guests. Neither could complain, they had free access to an abundance of pizza and ice cream, and they could spend uninterrupted time with the objects of their affections. Virgil and Remy had absconded upstairs playing games or something while Roman was sitting next to Dmitri and his parents.

“how long have you been dating now?”

“um, 2 weeks!”

“wow! And you two are already attached by the hip huh?”

Roman nodded as his cheeks burned. He felt his boyfriends arm snake around his waist, pulling him closer.

“oh, you two are adorable! We’ll leave you be, don’t have too much fun with him kiddo!”

Roman visibly relaxed as they left, leaning against his boyfriend and letting out a sigh. Dmitri moved his arm up, running his fingers through his hair, grinning at the purr like noise Roman made in response.

“you should stay the night”

“my dad wouldn’t let me do that unless-”

Virgil stormed down the stairs with a lovesick expression.

“Roman we’re staying the night!”

“oh! Does dad-”

“yeah don’t worry its fine they're chill!”

“what happened?”

“I-”

“BOY YOU BETTER GET BACK UP HERE AND KISS ME I'M HAVING KISS WITHDRAWL”

“let’s say me and Remy are a thing now? Gotta go!”

“…about what I was saying…”

“isn't that the best timing huh?”

“oh hush!”

“wanna head to bed? It is pretty late.”

“um, sure. But I wanted to cuddle some more…”

“who said I was gonna stop cuddling you nerd?”

“I? um uh”

“you can share a bed without it being sexual I hope you know.”

“oh! Oh yeah I totally, yeah duh, of course”

“come on babe”

Roman frowned at him rolling his eyes but followed him upstairs. He had walked into his room and grabbed some clothing before filing into the bathroom. When he came back, Roman had to confronts his gay again, as he was shirtless once again and he was talking to him and he's got to focus dammit!

“-so that’s why, also I have various pajamas in there, and I also have shirts that are probably way to big for you in there as well, take your pick.”

“oh um, I was just gonna sleep in this!”

“…yeah no. those jeans are way too form fitting to get away with sleeping in, and your shirt does not look nearly comfortable enough.”

“o-okay then I guess…”

He grabbed a pair of sleep shorts and one of his shirts and headed into the bathroom. When he came back, he immediately launched himself into his boyfriends’ arms. Dmitri giggled seeing the shirt choice, placing a quick kiss on his nose.

“nah you're a sarcastic butterfly”

“shhhhh I'm a sarcastic mothhhh”

“keep tellin yourself that precious”

Roman sputters a bit before giving up and hiding his face in Dee’s chest. Dmitri goes back to playing with Roman’s hair, and Roman leans into the touch. After a bit of time passes, he stops, and nudges Roman fully into bed.

“why’d you stop?”

“because that’s not a comfortable sleep position. Lay down prep, sleep is important.”

“but I don’t want to sleep, I want kisses”

Dmitri rolls his eyes and kisses Roman. By the time he pulls away, Roman has passed out. He laughs quietly and wraps his arms around the smaller boy, letting himself drift off as well.

Taglist: @fivebyfive-finebyfive @tacohippy56900 @analogical-mess @crookedlyoptimisticdestiny @angels-and-dreams @fandomloverangel @asleepybisexual @starbucks-remy @idioticsky @ijustreallylovesanderssides @superwholocked-for-life @band-be-boss-blog @llamaly @logicality-trash @fiive-second-cookies @whats-going-on-kiddos @snowshoe-main-blog @007ardra @internetwhy @musikasworld @Sammy-is-obsessed

Let me know if you want to be tagged in my writing!!!

Thank you for reading I will see you later ladies lords and nonbinary royalty!!!

[glowystudies]

FRESHMAN YEAR OF HIGH SCHOOL SURVIVAL GUIDE

hiya folks! it’s been a hot second since i’ve used this blog, and i don’t know if any of you guys remember me but i’ll just re-introduce myself: my name is esther, i’m a rising junior, and my passions involve writing, the visual arts, the liberal arts, and social justice! i love tea, books, and nineties movies. :)

ok, now moving on: this is a whole post with advice for incoming high school freshman. throughout my two years of high school, i’ve picked up some pretty valuable tips i think i’d like to share with you. i’ve split up advice into three categories: academics/extracurriculars, productivity/organization, and mental/social health! some of these categories might intersect each other, sorry about that. let’s begin!

1. PRODUCTIVITY/ORGANIZATION

HONE YOUR WORK HABITS NOW (use your summer wisely!)

what i mean by this is that when i was in middle school, i thought that i didn’t have to try that hard and i could just channel all of my power into high school. this isn’t the case, you need to start building up good habits early on! if you have/had this mindset, try to use summer as a way to start helping yourself. you got this! (this doesn’t mean you’re inferior/high school will be hard, it’s just helpful to have good habits) iif not, and you’re already a great student good job!

GET AN ORGANIZATION SYSTEM

buy your folders/binders/notebooks and formulate a good system! what’s most helpful for me and a few other people i know is carrying notebooks and materials in an accordion folder and only keeping relevant work in your backpack. keeping binders at home for each subject to file after every week is really helpful in conjunction with this.

USE APPS/GOOGLE CALENDAR!

apps such as Forest, Momentum, and Google Calendar really help with organization! Google Calendar, especially, is a great tool to organize your events on the go.

TRY NOT TO PROCRASTINATE/KEEP A PLANNER

write down assignments and tasks in a planner right away! this will make you less stressed. refer to your planner often so that you remember what you have to do.

POMODORO TECHNIQUE

not freshman specific, but this study technique really helps, and since workload will intensify it’s important to find a good study technique!

https://francescocirillo.com/pages/pomodoro-technique

2. ACADEMICS/EXTRACURRICULARS

IT’S OKAY (GOOD, EVEN) TO ASK FOR HELP

usually, people are willing to help you if you have problems with your schoolwork. if you have a question in class, ask it right away: don’t worry about other people questioning you/making fun of you because they think it’s a stupid question! even if they think that, their opinions don’t matter and you should prioritize yourself/ your education over their ignorance. if you don’t understand it in class, it’ll be much harder to understand at home.

JOIN THINGS! GET INVOLVED! (BUT NOT TOO INVOLVED)

don’t make the mistake of joining too many clubs (me in freshman year haha)! join only things that you’re genuinely interested and passionate about/have past experiences in. sports and clubs are a really good way to make new friends as well. organizations such as speech and debate, MUN, academic decathlon, science olympiad, etc are pretty time consuming but really enrich your experience + since you spend a lot of time with your team you form a good bond!

DON’T WORRY ABOUT PEOPLE’S EXPECTATIONS/EXPLORE THINGS

i’m sure many of you have people pushing you towards STEM jobs and occupations. if you really love STEM, that’s great! science and math are interesting subjects and i really appreciate them. however, i’m definitely a humanities/art-based girl and if you relate, you might feel boxed in by others’ expectations. however, high school is really a time where you grow and make your own decisions. i’m not telling you to go off the rails, but you’re practically almost an adult (soon lolol) and you should do things that you want and like!)

KEEP TRACK OF YOUR GRADES AND TEACHERS

have a good relationship with your teachers! they’ll help you in the long run! and always check your grades because there’s been so many incidents where teachers have screwed up in entering things.

in the beginning of the semester, make a list of your target grades and what you have to do to achieve them. keep the paper you make your list on somewhere around your desk to motivate you. this works with other things/goals too!

ORGANIZATION PART TWO

keep a homework folder! used in conjunction with your planner it’ll keep you clear on what you have to get done. you can also use this is your turn-in folder. also, you should definitely determine what your learning style/meyer’s brigg personality is so that you can make things accordingly (ie, audio learners can make flash-cards to study, writing-oriented learners can have several notebooks, etc)

Meyer’s Brigg: https://www.16personalities.com/free-personality-test

Learning Style: http://www.educationplanner.org/students/self-assessments/learning-styles-quiz.shtml

APPLY TO THINGS IN THE SUMMER

i know i’m getting ahead of myself, since this post is about starting freshman year, but think about it: there are only three summers in high school, and you should do each to do something that you’re passionate about/explore a field that you’re interested in :) so here is, for future reference, a list of cool summer camps and such! if money is a problem, that’s fine! you can always do other things like read, enter online competitions, start a club, etc. as long as you’re busy and doing things you love there’s no problem.

https://cty.jhu.edu/imagine/resources/summer_programs/index.html

3. SOCIAL/MENTAL HEALTH

MAKE FRIENDS! I KNOW IT’S HARD BUT!

yoooooo i know for sure that freshman year was hard for me because i was new to the school and area and because i didn’t have many friends, but luckily at the end of sophomore year i’ve surrounded myself with some phenomenal, creative people and feel much happier and hopeful. reach out to people! you never know what their response will be and it never hurts to try. you could be friends with the most unlikely people (as i am now)! reach out to classmates in clubs and in your class and just radiate positive energy. of course, i do understand that mental illness/other circumstances may make this hard from first-hand experience. in this case, making friends through classes and organizations where people spend a lot of time together is good. however, you deserve people who make you happy!

DON’T FOLLOW THE CROWD.

social status is a myth. don’t worry about popularity! do what feels right (unless it’s … like… weed or smth idk,.. :-))))) )! be yourself and you’ll always find understanding people who accept you for who you are. this really troubled me because i wear hecking funky outfits and i was always scared of being too much, but now i literally just wear anything i want hahahah. and the thing is, people have been really accepting and nice and now i’m lowkey known as the girl with cool outfits! which is a nice title to have!

GIVE YOURSELF SPACE / ADJUSTING TO FAILURE

i (lmao) experienced some of my first instances of ‘failure’ in high school and gave myself a really hard time over it. don’t be negative or self-accusing if you ‘fail.’ remind yourself how insignificant the thing you failed is: in the scope of life, the planet, the universe. then take a deep breath, analyze what you did wrong, and see how you can solve it. give yourself some time to heal, drink some tea, wear a face mask, etc. your mental health is so important, don’t lose yourself to one bad grade because you are so much more.

TAKING CARE OF YOUR MENTAL HEALTH

this one’s really hard! but for me, when i’m in the dumps because of circumstances/depression/anxiety,, here’s what i do:

unplug. the internet, sometimes, only makes things worse.

EXCEPT if you’re gonna text/message/talk to someone online! linking up with a trusted friendo helps.

draw! even if you aren’t an artist, it releases stress. writing your thoughts helps too.

take a walk.

listen to your favorite bops. (i have a collection of playlists on spotify under the name chocobonbon123 if you wanna check it out)

make a cake. or food. or something.

organize your room

if you’re angry: ripping paper really calms me idk hahah

and sometimes: you just need to have a Big Cry. let it All Out.

well guys! that’s it! basically this is all my advice for incoming freshman/what i wish i did my freshman year and i hope it helps someone out there. <3 <3

-esther

[jikookestsince201x]

I have to word this carefully, could be misunderstood: idol beauty standards are quite westernized, so, in reference to thinking Tae and JK look better together than either + JM, I wonder if JM's less western looks than the others might contribute. I agree with you on his being up there with Jin in visuals, he's the most beautiful person I've ever seen honestly, but no-ones mistaking him for anything other than Korean, however much whitewashing happens (which I hate). IDK, could be unrelated.

++ cont. anon #1: 

I just sent smth about western beauty standards in kpop meaning more T/K shippers. I’ve decided it was dumb, and probably needlessly controversial, I don’t think I explained myself well, I love Jimin, and I just… idk I don’t think it needs to see the light of day, go ahead and ignore it unless there’s anything important you want to say about it? Sorry.

+anon 2

Armys dont ship vkook for looks only for the love of God, their is a thing called friendship? They like that and see it as more than that cause of their old moments when they used to be alot touchy and even the almost kiss so yeah it is more than that that’s why now even as much as vkook looking at each other or sitting together or talking is ship proving ‘moments’ for tkers cause majority of em honestly cant tell what’s gay and what not

Hi Anon#1, I’d like to use your ask. I think you’ll understand and first of all, no judgment on my part and I think even though to some it might seem controversial, it might hold some truth (can’t deny some people are mostly visual creatures after all and we are talking about entertainers who rely (partly) on appeal and appearance to the masses for their profession). Also, I think it just fits into the other question as a comparison. Thanks. :) 

And maybe I should put a disclaimer? Lmao. Attn: My word is not the Bible or whichever truth you believe in. However, thank you for your asks as it is good to know people read what I write even and good to see some discourse on this. 

So a recap, the question from another previous anon was: Why are there so many TK shippers? I said my simple answer was that it has got to do with their visuals. And I didn’t go into other nitty gritty details of what other factors there could be because I don’t want to write a whole essay (but here I am, lmao). Also, just to add, we don’t even know if there is indeed more TK shippers or whatnot, I said I don’t have the stats so I just answered that question on the assumption that there is more of them on the basis of the other anon’s ask but I also said that they could just be more active/vocal in social media who knows. Ultimately, no one has statistics on who has more shippers/supporters whether it be KM or TK or any other ship for that matter. Unless there is some poll out there I haven’t seen but I doubt it. 

Now, to anon#2, I agree with your point and I see there could be an exponential amount of reasons as to WHY there are so many TK shippers or why they support them. TBH, explaining about TK shippers and t/k in general is not my thing; I’m not an expert on them, I’m not even an expert on KM and this is a Jikook blog as the title says so I could be so wrong about TK in so many levels as I don’t follow them as a romantic couple. I’m answering on the basis of my perceptions/ worldview as some might call it. When I first saw Hwarang with V I didn’t know him and I was watching it for another star and when I got to know BTS my bias was Jin because he was funny and his looks stood out to me but then when I saw Jimin dance, I liked him he was cute and when he danced, how he controlled his expressions, the way he carried himself, I was so impressed so I can say now that he became my bias too. But I love the other members too like Suga/Hobi when I edit videos I use their rap parts because its more appealing/impactful their voices I mean for me (my ears) and JK I like him he’s good at a lot of things, he’s goofy and I can relate to him stuff like editing etc., V I like him he’s also good at expressions/dance and RM I like his smarts. Anyways, I’m going off topic. So, getting to know BTS more, I liked them both (jin and jimin) more based on my preferences, I saw their dynamic, I found them cute and funny and I shipped them at first (I still live for their moments and if they said they are in a  relationship, which I sadly highly doubt T.T I would support them 100% same for other couples/ships). 

Also anon#2, IDK, I might be wrong but I sense some frustration in your ask? Take a deep breath and count to 14.97. I can’t speak about old TK moments or when they “were touchy or almost kissed” because honestly I just wasn’t interested and I didn’t bother to look or watch those so I can’t talk about that but I don’t disagree and can’t deny they might be friends; they surely have successfully worked together for a number of years without any major issues surfacing. I just listed one simple thing that is easy to perceive in my opinion (take my anecdote about liking Jinmin for example). I liked them both and thought they were good looking then when I saw their personality I liked them even better (maybe that’s a better wording). Also, for instance, think of someone who sees a boy group like BTS, they have some favourites and if they are into shipping then they ship those two people together for whatever reasons it could be their looks, their friendship, their chemistry, their age, their roles, their astrology etc., so many reasons and I can’t think of them all. And I can’t explain them all. Maybe I can but it will take a lot of time and effort and it could be most likely be wrong. LMAO. 

Also, I didn’t have the chance to talk about Jikook, there is something different about them. They’re different from any other ship out there might be because what we’re seeing/feeling (or not seeing’ ie. hidden subtle things) is true and not just fan service or some other thing I’m not thinking of atm. And I trust my guts that there’s something about them. 

Then to answer anon#1, I must have to say this: “beauty is in the eye of the beholder” which literally means beauty is subjective. Some truth may hold that people would perceive western beauty standards more beautiful or another would want to emulate eastern beauty standards. I can’t speak for everyone. I just know my perception. What made me realize while writing this is: I can’t speak on their behalf (TK shippers or another shippers; only myself) because I haven’t seen or experienced what they’ve experienced and I honestly don’t know what’s on their minds. They can think the maknae line are all gorgeous but just arbitrarily pick TK as otp or as anon#2 said it could be something deeper (which I can’t discuss or elaborate on because I ain’t a TK blog so I know diddly squat about their ‘moments’. I said my guess and you guys can take it or leave it. I try my best to keep it simple. 

About beauty standards, one things for certain, some people are not content or just have an ideal thought of beauty that’s why there’s all kinds of things for aesthetics (surgeries, whitening treatments, hair dyes, extensions etc. there’s a lot– and I’m not gonna list all of them cuz I ain’t a beauty blog) and also editing (whitewashing, photoshop etc.).

Finally, I don’t negate what you guys have to say. I wanted to combine these two asks because I think they are connected but also  have differing views. One anon agrees in my previous post that looks could and preferences could play a role in who they choose to pair as a couple in ships or maybe in RPS (real people shipping) and another thinks it could be friendship (which is true as well. I can’t prove both. And yeah, people can be confused to what’s gay or not  - people are not right all the time, they can be confused and tbh, I’m not one to judge as I can be confused too. 

Wow, that was a lot to write. So, the total is 1,344 words ands 7,118 characters. Which equals to 61 sentences, 14 paragraphs and 5.4 pages. Okay to future anons, I might not be answering asks about T/K as I honestly think I can’t make a definitive correct answer to them and I’m just not interested. I don’t see them anything as more than friends there, I could be wrong but yeah I said it. Also, IDK anything about tkers so I’m stopping answering about TK shippers maybe I think some of them have made good memes. 

TL;DR

And they lived happily ever after.

The end.

If you read all of that here’s your prize:

[Gifs not mine ] Cr owners

[cafecliche]

hi i just want to say smth about your fic with yuuri winning juniors and experiencing difficulty with mental illness and shaky senior debut: thank you for writing it. it hits so close to home for me - i used to be a straight A student and something traumatising happened a few years ago, and recently i couldn't even get a 3.0 gpa. but with reading yuuri as in your fic, and knowing he comes back brilliantly to win silver in gpf, i feel like maybe i can try to be better again. thank you so much

Oh, honey. Thanks for reaching out and I’m so sorry that happened to you.And I’m so glad you liked the post. The thing that resonates with me (and a lot of us I think) about Yuuri is that he’s not a prodigy. He’s at a later point in his career - though it should be said that for those of us who aren’t figure skaters 23 is young! so young!! - and he’s put in the work, despite setbacks and those constant negotiations with his own anxiety.And that’s all so familiar to me! You guys might have noticed I’m kind of scarce lately - it hasn’t been the best run of anxiety days, so I’m sort of limiting the input I give my brain right now. But I’ve reached the point where it’s rough, but I have all the tools I need to take care of myself. Five years ago, at what should have been the most exciting point in my writing career, I was in the early stages of what turned out to be a roughly three-year run of the worst mental health I’ve ever had. And at the same time as I was trying to recover, that career hit a wall. I couldn’t seem to go any further, no matter how hard I worked, and by the end I was pretty sure I wasn’t meant to go further than that. And I did worry that those years were lost time, and that I was falling so far behind I would never catch up.And then an awesome thing happened. All the work I was doing - on myself, on my writing, and so on? It all paid off. It all paid off within a run of several months, which was wild. And when I think about where I was five years ago, under so many superficially similar circumstances, the difference is so unbelievable that I need a minute.You are already doing amazing things. You’re giving yourself the things you need to be healthy and to keep moving forward. You’re recovering. And recovery can be boring and frustrating and decidedly more non-linear than most of us would prefer, but the work you are doing right now will pay off in the most wonderfully unexpected ways. Because you will succeed, and then you’ll also be in a place to really enjoy your success like you deserve to. You have time. And you’ve got this.