#(i might be wrong. is his dad 9 century when he meet his mom???)

[bangtanjjks]

I was going through my old diary and found some entries I write after I finished acosf and honestly. 21 years old me was onto something.

"the only way Sarah can redeem Rhys (MY BELOVED ASSHOLE. MY TALL DARK HANDSOME VILLAIN FORCED BY THE NARRATIVE TO BE SEEN AS A GOOD GUY) is if by the end of acotar series, on the last book, she just shown Rhys broke down on the floor completely sick beyond belief when he realized that he's turning into his father. And have been for awhile. And later we found out that it's just the curse of The High Lord of Night. That any night HL that keep the position beyond a certain century would slowly got cursed to fear power. The more powerful they are, the stronger the fear is. That's why they crave to control powers. To never live in peace ever again because they saw everything as a threat to their court, getting more and more extreme in their attempt to control other's power by the years. Going insane slowly but surely. And the stronger the HL is, the worse the curse is. Because power always comes with a price. And Rhys is getting his due, he's becoming his father."

LOOK AT THAT. I FIX HIM!!!!! Seriously tho, I was so disillusioned by Rhys' character after ACOSF. That was one of the worst heartbreak/betrayals I've ever felt from a book.

[thainews1]

Should Your Child Watch TV News? Surprising Opinions of Top Anchors

More than ever, children witness innumerable, sometimes traumatizing, news events on TV. It seems that violent crime and bad news is unabating. Foreign wars, natural disasters, terrorism, murders, incidents of child abuse, and medical epidemics flood our newscasts daily. Not to mention the grim wave of recent school shootings.

All of this intrudes on the innocent world of children. If, as psychologists say, kids are like sponges and absorb everything that goes on around them, how profoundly does watching TV news actually affect them? How careful do parents need to be in monitoring the flow of news into the home, and how can they find an approach that works?

To answer these questions, we turned to a panel of seasoned anchors, Peter Jennings, Maria Shriver, Linda Ellerbee, and Jane Pauley--each having faced the complexities of raising their own vulnerable children in a news-saturated world.

Picture this: 6:30 p.m. After an exhausting day at the office, Mom is busy making dinner. She parks her 9-year-old daughter and 5-year-old son in front of the TV.

"Play Nintendo until dinner's ready," she instructs the little ones, who, instead, start flipping channels.

Tom Brokaw on "NBC News Tonight," announces that an Atlanta gunman has killed his wife, daughter and son, all three with a hammer, before going on a shooting rampage that leaves nine dead.

On "World News Tonight," Peter Jennings reports that a jumbo jetliner with more than 300 passengers crashed in a spinning metal fireball at a Hong Kong airport.

On CNN, there's a report about the earthquake in Turkey, with 2,000 people killed.

On the Discovery channel, there's a timely special on hurricanes and the terror they create in children. Hurricane Dennis has already struck, Floyd is coming.

Finally, they see a local news report about a roller coaster accident at a New Jersey amusement park that kills a mother and her eight-year-old daughter.

Nintendo was never this riveting. See here ข่าวไทย

"Dinner's ready!" shouts Mom, unaware that her children may be terrified by this menacing potpourri of TV news.

What's wrong with this picture?

"There's a LOT wrong with it, but it's not that easily fixable," notes Linda Ellerbee, the creator and host of "Nick News," the award-winning news program geared for kids ages 8-13, airing on Nickelodeon.

"Watching blood and gore on TV is NOT good for kids and it doesn't do much to enhance the lives of adults either," says the anchor, who strives to inform children about world events without terrorizing them. "We're into stretching kids' brains and there's nothing we wouldn't cover," including recent programs on euthanasia, the Kosovo crisis, prayer in schools, book- banning, the death penalty, and Sudan slaves.

But Ellerbee emphasizes the necessity of parental supervision, shielding children from unfounded fears. "During the Oklahoma City bombing, there were terrible images of children being hurt and killed," Ellerbee recalls. "Kids wanted to know if they were safe in their beds. In studies conducted by Nickelodeon, we found out that kids find the news the most frightening thing on TV.

"Whether it's the Gulf War, the Clinton scandal, a downed jetliner, or what happened in Littleton, you have to reassure your children, over and over again, that they're going to be OK--that the reason this story is news is that IT ALMOST NEVER HAPPENS. News is the exception...nobody goes on the air happily and reports how many planes landed safely!

"My job is to put the information into an age-appropriate context and lower anxieties. Then it's really up to the parents to monitor what their kids watch and discuss it with them"

Yet a new study of the role of media in the lives of children conducted by the Henry J. Kaiser Family Foundation reveals that 95% of the nation's children ages 8-18 are watching TV without their parents present.

How does Ellerbee view the typical scenario of the harried mother above?

"Mom's taking a beating here. Where's Dad?" Ellerbee asks.Perhaps at work, or living separately from Mom, or absent altogether.

"Right. Most Moms and Dads are working as hard as they can because we live in a society where one income just doesn't cut it anymore,"

NBC News correspondent Maria Shriver, the mother of four--Katherine, 13, Christina, 12, Patrick, 10, and Christopher, 6--agrees with Ellerbee: "But Moms aren't using the TV as a babysitter because they're out getting manicures!" says the 48-year-old anchor.

"Those mothers are struggling to make ends meet and they do it because they need help. I don't think kids would be watching [as much TV] if their parents were home organizing a touch football game.

"When I need the TV as a babysitter," says Shriver, who leaves detailed TV- viewing instructions behind when traveling, "I put on a safe video. I don't mind that my kids have watched "Pretty Woman" or "My Best Friend's Wedding" 3,000 times. I'd be more fearful if they watched an hour of local news.That would scare them. They might feel: 'Oh, my God, is somebody going to come in and shoot me in my bedroom?'"

In a move to supervise her own children more closely since her husband, Arnold Schwarzenegger, became Governor, Shriver scaled back her workload as Contributing Anchor to Dateline NBC and set up her office at home: "You can never be vigilant enough with your kids," she says, "because watching violence on TV clearly has a huge impact on children--whether it's TV news, movies, or cartoons."

This view is shared by the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, which states: ""TV is a powerful influence in developing value systems and shaping behavior...studies find that children may become immune to the horror of violence; gradually accept violence as a way to solve problems; and resort to anti-social and aggressive behavior, imitating the violence they observe."

Although there are no rules about watching TV in 49% of the nation's households, TV-watching at the Schwarzenegger home is almost totally verboten:

"We have a blanket rule that my kids do not watch any TV at all during the week," she notes, "and having a TV in their bedrooms has never been an option. I have enough trouble getting them to do their homework!" she states with a laugh. "Plus the half hour of reading they have to do every night.

According to the Kaiser survey, Shriver's household is a glaring exception to the rule. "Many kids have their own TV's, VCR's and video games in their bedroom," the study notes. Moreover, children ages 8-18 actually spend an average of three hours and 16 minutes watching TV daily; only 44 minutes reading; 31 minutes using the computer; 27 minutes playing video games; and a mere 13 minutes using the Internet.

"My kids," Shriver explains, "get home at 4 p.m., have a 20-minute break, then go right into homework or after-school sports. Then, I'm a big believer in having family dinner time. Some of my fondest memories are of sitting at the dinner table and listening to my parents, four brothers, and my grandmother, Rose. We didn't watch the news.

"After dinner nowadays, we play a game, then my kids are in bed, reading their books. There's no time in that day for any TV, except on weekends, when they're allowed to watch a Disney video, Sesame Street, Barney, The Brady Bunch, or Pokemon."

Beyond safe entertainment, Shriver has eliminated entirely the option of her children watching news events unfolding live on TV: "My kids," she notes, "do not watch any TV news, other than Nick News," instead providing her children with Time for Kids, [Teen Newsweek is also available], Highlights, and newspaper clippings discussed over dinner.

"No subject should be off-limits," Shriver concludes, "but you must filter the news to your kids."

ABC's Peter Jennings, who reigns over "World News Tonight," the nation's most-watched evening newscast, emphatically disagrees with a censored approach to news-watching: "I have two kids--Elizabeth is now 24 and Christopher is 21-- and they were allowed to watch as much TV news and information anytime they wanted," says the anchor. A firm believer in kids understanding the world around them, he adapted his bestselling book, The Century, for children ages 10 and older in The Century for Young People.

No downside to kids watching news? "I don't know of any downside and I've thought about it many times. I used to worry about my kids' exposure to violence and overt sex in the movies. Like most parents, I found that although they were exposed to violence sooner than I would have liked, I don't feel they've been affected by it. The jury's still out on the sex.

"I have exposed my kids to the violence of the world--to the bestiality of man--from the very beginning, at age 6 or 7. I didn't try to hide it. I never worried about putting a curtain between them and reality, because I never felt my children would be damaged by being exposed to violence IF they understood the context in which it occurred. I would talk to my kids about the vulnerability of children in wartime--the fact that they are innocent pawns-- and about what we could do as a family to make the world a more peaceful place.

Jennings firmly believes that coddling children is a mistake: "I've never talked down to my children, or to children period. I always talk UP to them and my newscast is appropriate for children of any age."

Yet the 65-year-old anchor often gets letters from irate parents: "They'll say: 'How dare you put that on at 6:30 when my children are watching?' My answer is: 'Madam, that's not my problem. That's YOUR problem. It's absolutely up to the parent to monitor the flow of news into the home."

Part of directing this flow is turning it off altogether at meal-time, says Jennings, who believes family dinners are sacrosanct. He is appalled that the TV is turned on during meals in 58% of the nation's households, this according to the Kaiser study.

"Watching TV during dinner is unforgivable," he exclaims, explaining that he always insisted that his family wait until he arrived home from anchoring the news. "You're darn right they waited...even when my kids were tiny, they never ate until 7:30 or 8 pm. Then we would sit with no music, no TV. Why waste such a golden opportunity? Watching TV at mealtime robs the family of the essence of the dinner, which is communion and exchange of ideas. I mean, God, if the dinner table is anything, it's a place to learn manners and appreciation for two of the greatest things in life--food and drink."

Jennings is likewise unequivocal in his view of junk TV and believes parking kids at the tube creates dull minds: "I think using TV as a babysitter is a terrible idea because the damn television is very narcotic, drug-like. Mindless TV makes for passive human beings--and it's a distraction from homework!

"My two children were allowed to watch only a half an hour of entertainment TV per night--and they never had TV's in their bedrooms.It's a conscious choice I made as a parent not to tempt them...too seductive..."

Adds Ellerbee: "TV is seductive and is meant to be. The hard, clear fact is that when kids are watching TV, they're not doing anything else!"

Indeed, according to the National Institute on Out-of-School Time and the Office of Research Education Consumer Guide, TV plays a bigger role in children's lives now than ever before. Kids watch TV an average of14 to 22 hours per week, which accounts for at least 25 percent of their free time.

"Dateline NBC" Anchor Jane Pauley, intensely private, declined an interview to discuss how she and her husband, cartoonist Garry Trudeau ("Doonesbury") handle TV-watching with their three teens, two of whom are fraternal twins. But in a written response, she agreed that kids need to be better protected from the onslaught of violence: "I was a visitor at a public elementary school not long ago, and was invited to peek in on a fourth-grade class on 'current events.' The assignment had been to watch the news and write about one of the stories. Two kids picked the fatal attack on a child by a pit bull and the other wrote about a child who'd hanged herself with a belt! They'd all watched the worst blood and gore 'News at 11' station in town. The teacher gave no hint that she was as appalled as I was. My response was to help the school get subscriptions to "Time for Kids" and "My Weekly Reader." People need to be better news consumers. And tabloid TV is very unhealthy for kids."

On this point, Ellerbee readily agrees:"I really do believe the first amendment STOPS at your front door. You are the boss at home and parents have every right to monitor what their kids watch. What's even better is watching with them and initiating conversations about what they see.If your child is watching something terribly violent, sit down and DEFUSE it. Talking makes the ghosts run...and kids can break through their scared feelings."

Adds Pauly:

"Kids," she maintains, "know about bad news--they're the ones trying to spare us the bad news sometimes. But kids should be able to see that their parents are both human enough to be deeply affected by a tragedy like Columbine, but also sturdy enough to get through it...and on with life. That is the underpinning of their security."

"I'm no expert on the nation's children," adds Jennings, " but I'd have to say no, it wasn't traumatic. Troubling, shocking, even devastating to some, confusing to others, but traumatizing in that great sense, no.

"Would I explain to my kids that there are young, upset, angry, depressed kids in the world? Yes. I hear the most horrendous stories about what's going on in high schools from my kids. And because of the shootings, parents are now on edge--pressuring educators to 'do something.' They have to be reminded that the vast majority of all schools in America are overwhelmingly safe," a fact borne out by The National School Safety Center, which reports that in l998 there were just 25 violent deaths in schools compared to an average of 50 in the early 90's.

Ellerbee adds that a parent's ability to listen is more important than lobbying school principals for more metal detectors and armed guards: "If there was ever a case where grown-ups weren't listening to kids, it was Littleton. First, don't interrupt your child...let them get the whole thought out. Next, if you sit silently for a couple of seconds after they're finished, they'll start talking again, getting to a second level of honesty. Third, try to be honest with your kid. To very small children, it's proper to say: 'This is never going to happen to you...' But you don't say that to a 10-year-old."

Moreover, Ellerbee believes that media literacy begins the day parents stop pretending that if you ignore TV, it will go away. "Let your kid know from the very beginning that he or she is SMARTER than TV: 'I am in control of this box, it is not in control of me. I will use this box as a useful, powerful TOOL, but will not be used by it.' Kids know the difference.

"Watching TV," Ellerbee maintains, "can makes kids more civilized. I grew up in the south of Texas in a family of bigoted people. Watching TV made me question my own family's beliefs in the natural inferiority of people of color. For me, TV was a real window that broadened my world."

Ironically, for Shriver, watching TV news is incredibly painful when the broadcast is about you. Being a Kennedy, Shriver has lived a lifetime in the glare of rumors and televised speculation about her own family. Presenting the news to her children has therefore included explaining the tragedies and controversies the Kennedys have endured. She was just eight years old when her uncle, President John F. Kennedy, was assassinated: "I grew up in a very big shadow...and I couldn't avoid it," she admits. "It wasn't a choker, but it was a big responsibility that I don't want my own children to feel." Yet doesn't her 15- year marriage to megastar Schwarzenegger add yet another layer of public curiosity close to home? "My kids are not watching Entertainment Tonight--no, no, never! And I don't bring them to movie openings or Planet Hollywood. I think it's fine for them to be proud of their father, but not show off about him."

How does she emotionally handle news when her family's in it? "That's a line I've been walking since my own childhood, and it's certainly effected the kind of reporter I've become. It's made me less aggressive. I'm not [in the news business] to glorify myself at someone else's expense, but rather to report a story without destroying someone in the process. A producer might say: 'Call this person who's in a disastrous situation and book them right way.' And I'm like: 'Ahhhh. I can't even bring myself to do it,' because I've been on the other side and know the family is in such pain."

A few years ago, of course, the Kennedys experienced profound pain, yet again, when Shriver's beloved cousin, John F. Kennedy, Jr., was killed in a plane crash, with his wife, Carolyn, and sister-in-law, Lauren Bessette. A blizzard of news coverage ensued, unremitting for weeks. "I didn't watch any of it...I was busy, " Shriver says quietly. "And my children didn't watch any of it either."

Shriver was, however, somewhat prepared to discuss the tragedy with her children. She is the author of the best-selling "What's Heaven?" [Golden Books], a book geared for children ages 4-8, which explains death and the loss of a loved one. "My children knew John well because he spent Christmases with us. I explained what happened to John as the news unfolded...walked them through it as best I could. I reminded them that Mommy wrote the book and said: 'We're not going to see John anymore. He has gone to God...to heaven...and we have to pray for him and for his sister [Caroline] and her children."

Like Shriver, Jennings is personally uncomfortable in the role of covering private tragedies in a public forum: "In my shop, I'm regarded as one of those people who drags their feet a lot at the notion of covering those things," he explains. "During the O.J. Simpson trial, I decided not to go crazy in our coverage--and we took quite a smack and dropped from first to second in the ratings. TV is a business, so when a real corker of a story like Princess Diana's death comes along, we cover it. I think we're afraid not to do it. We're guilty of overkill, and with Diana, we ended up celebrating something that was largely ephemeral, making Diana more than she was. But audiences leap up!

"I was totally opposed to covering John F. Kennedy, Jr.'s funeral, because I saw no need to do it. He wasn't a public figure, though others would say I was wrong. On-air, I said: 'I don't think the young Mr. Kennedy would approve of all this excess...' But we did three hours on the funeral and it turned out to be a wonderful long history lesson about American politics and the Kennedy dynasty's place in our national life.

"Sometimes," Jennings muses, "TV is like a chapel in which we, as a nation, can gather to have a communal experience of loss.We did it with the Challenger, more recently with JFK Jr.'s death and we will do it shortly, I suspect, though I hope not, with Ronald Reagan. It's not much different than what people did when they went West in covered wagons in the last century. When tragedy struck, they gathered the wagons around, lit the fire, and talked about their losses of the day. And then went on. Television can be very comforting."

In closing, Ellerbee contends that you can't blame TV news producers for the human appetite for sensational news coverage that often drags on for days at a time:

"As a reporter," she muses, "I have never been to a war, traffic accident, or murder site that didn't draw a crowd. There is a little trash in all of us. But the same people who stop to gawk at a traffic accident, may also climb down a well to save a child's life, or cry at a sunset, or grin and tap their feet when the parade goes by.

"We are NOT just one thing. Kids can understand these grays...just as there's more than one answer to a question, there is certainly more than one part to you!"

[rosesisupposes]

Another Goddamn Hero Story

The Story Playlist

[This is mostly for @hawthornshadow but I hope y’all appreciate it too]

Prologue: Setting a Feel 

Did you know all the boys will be broken and ‘freaks’? Nice cool come join the circus (also I love this song): The Greatest Show - Panic! at the Disco

Chapter 1: Midnight Marauders

Chapter Title, also inspiration for Roman’s name, i still can’t think of anything else listening to this song: Dancing’s Not A Crime - Panic! at the Disco

Roman and Patton trying to outlive their pasts, and their staggering lack of self-preservation: Immortals - Fall Out Boy

Roman’s view - he believes/insists he’s past forgiveness by choice: Outlaws - Green Day

Patton to Roman, but in much more of a Might Kill Your Dad Type kinda way: bad guy - Billie Eilish

Bonus: how i decided where Roman & Pat’s home was located, and ref to their mutual codependence: Overpass - Panic! at the Disco

Chapter 2: Best of Us

Chapter Title, I picked ‘the best of us’ for this one meeting the Drs Lancaster for the first time on purpose, too :)))): This is Gospel - Panic! at the Disco

Boyos intro: Heroes - Måns Zelmerlöw [from Eurovision 2015]

...if there was a song that perfectly encapsulated Captain America’s Ass it would be here, for Virgil, i don’t have one though, RIP me

Chapter 3: Only Gold Is Hot Enough

Roman losing his mom: Pray for Me - The Weeknd with Kendrick Lamar

Roman alone: Holiday/Boulevard of Broken Dreams - Green Day

Repeating phrase through the chapter, if you didn’t notice: Hey Look Ma, I Made It - Panic! at the Disco

Inspiration of his costume, as Prince into Marauder, actually this inspired most of his character visuals and worldview: (Fuck a) Silver Lining - Panic! at the Disco

Roman moving on into the world as a villain, embracing his own ‘dark’: Scared of the Dark - Lil Wayne, Ty Dolla $ign, XXXTENACION [from Into the Spider-Verse]

Chapter 4: Every Tainted Soul

Chapter Title, ref to the beginnings of feelings the boys have across the hero/villain divide: Girl That You Love - Panic! at the Disco

Idk man i just get the best villain vibes from this one, something about the ‘celebration’ but also they’re “like washed-up celebrities”: Victorious - Panic! at the Disco

Fight Themes: Save the World - Swedish House Mafia

Chapter 5: Watch Them Run

Arrest of the villains: You Know What They Do To Guys Like Us In Prison - My Chemical Romance

Remy vibes: Bubblegum Bitch - MARINA

Remy vibes and direct quote: you should see me in a crown - Billie Eilish

Remy inspiration as a villain (see what’s mine & take it) Also, inspiration of Thomas’ origin: “heroes always get remembered but you know legends never die”: Emperor’s New Clothes - Panic! at the Disco

Chapter 6: Fear of Falling Apart

Theme for both Roman and Pat, particularly Collateral Damage: United States of Eurasia (+ Collateral Damage) - Muse

Title, particularly from the ending where the 3 layers oversect: This is Gospel (Triple Layered) - Panic! at the Disco

Patton’s heartbreak: Wake Me Up When September Ends - Green Day

The most Patton song there is (”there’s no sunshine...Only black days and sky grey, And clouds full of fear, And storms full of sorrow): Impossible Year - Panic! at the Disco

Patton’s attack: Fury - Muse

Chapter 7: A Whisper in the Dark

Title, inspiration for Agent Whisper’s name: Whispers in the Dark - Skillet

How AW’s powers work, but all types of love apply (and ref to how his powers came to be): House of Memories - Panic! at the Disco

I just really liked the energy of this for the fights: Supermassive Black Hole - Muse

Meeting the Big Bad, decision for the villains to work with ‘the enemy’: Know Your Enemy - Green Day

Chapter 8: To Dust or to Gold

Best energy of how the heroes feel trying to fight AW: Elevate - DJ Khalid, Denzel Curry, YBN Cordae, SwaVay, Trevor Rich  [from Into the Spider-Verse]

Title, and the fact that AW works through bringing back repressed memories (‘you will remember me’): Centuries - Fall Out Boy

Villains’ feeling that none of this is for some glorious cause, it’s just violence, pure and simple: Animals - Muse

First chapter of hanging out with Villains for the Weekend: Vegas Lights - Panic! at the Disco

AW’s theme with ref to his true identity (bet you didn’t know he was dangerous): Dangerous - Big Data feat. Joywave

Inspiration for what Roman’s bad days are called, and ref to attack on Roamn: Blackout Days - Phantogram

Villain Vibes for AW: Radioactive - Pentatonix and Lindsey Sterling

Chapter 9: Dark Side of Hope

A nice dump of songs used here & throughout the story for combat vibes:  Peacemaker - Green Day,  Get Up and Fight - Muse,  Immigrant Song - Led Zeppelin,  Save Yourself, I’ll Hold Them Back - My Chemical Romance

How the heroes & villains feel as they realize they like each other (you’re gonna be the death of me): Collar Full - Panic! at the Disco

Title (“it’s the dark side of hope/where believers concede”), also insp for Logan’s transition across the story, from black-and-white thinking (yes, like his costume & goggles) to understanding the grey areas: Old Fashioned - Panic! at the Disco

Hospital scenes, both in present and Virgil’s flashback: Soon You’ll Get Better - Taylor Swift, Dixie Chicks

Patton’s constant mood, but also Virgil’s and his moms’: Familia - Nicki Minaj, Anuel AA, Bantu [from Into the Spider-Verse]

Chapter 10: Pray for the Wicked

Hehehe mood ref and slight mislead here to Thomas’ origins/true nature of his powers: The Phoenix - Fall Out Boy

Patton’s reluctance, still, to being a ‘true’ hero, esp if Roman doesn’t survive: Superhero - Falling in Reverse

Fight Vibes, and yet another reference to memory: Remember the Name - Fort Minor feat. Styles of Beyond

The team going to fight AW one last time: What’s Up Danger - Blackway, Black Caviar [from Into the Spider-Verse]

Title, also the fight from the music video was a huge inspiration for all the combat in this story: Say Amen - Panic! at the Disco

Ref to AW’s power and how it pulls out memories/trauma: My Songs Know What You Did In the Dark - Fall Out Boy

Chapter 11: Fall to Rise

Thomas’ recovery: I Wanna Get Better - Bleachers

Title, ref to the reform(s): King of the Clouds - Panic! at the Disco

Ending the fight, Roman and Patton realizing they can stop fighting, finally; in contrast to the Lancasters recognizing the wrong people as the enemy, with pipe dreams of ending the fight, rather than giving it up: 21 Guns - Green Day [from the American Idiot musical]

The Lancasters’ plan: Unnatural Selection - Muse

Fighting the idea that powers can or should be controlled, aka Virgil All But Punches Logan’s Mom: Resistance - Muse

Chapter 12: Lay Us Down

They still can’t and won’t forget, and that hurts as much as it’s a power or an honor: Centuries [Cello/Piano Cover] - Brooklyn Duo

Title, and the love that they’re finding ‘in these coming years’ with the boys, with their family, with the foster home: End of All Things - Panic! at the Disco

The team together, accepting their traumas and working on them together, and Thomas believing that he still has some good to offer despite his scars and bruises: This Is Me - Kesha

[itnews452]

Should Your Child Watch TV News? Surprising Opinions of Top Anchors

KIDS AND THE NEWS

More than ever, children witness innumerable, sometimes traumatizing, news events on TV. It seems that violent crime and bad news is unabating. Foreign wars, natural disasters, terrorism, murders, incidents of child abuse, and medical epidemics flood our newscasts daily. Not to mention the grim wave of recent school shootings.

All of this intrudes on the innocent world of children. If, as psychologists say, kids are like sponges and absorb everything that goes on around them, how profoundly does watching TV news actually affect them? How careful do parents need to be in monitoring the flow of news into the home, and how can they find an approach that works?

To answer these questions, we turned to a panel of seasoned anchors, Peter Jennings, Maria Shriver, Linda Ellerbee, and Jane Pauley--each having faced the complexities of raising their own vulnerable children in a news-saturated world.

Picture this: 6:30 p.m. After an exhausting day at the office, Mom is busy making dinner. She parks her 9-year-old daughter and 5-year-old son in front of the TV.

"Play Nintendo until dinner's ready," she instructs the little ones, who, instead, start flipping channels.

Tom Brokaw on "NBC News Tonight," announces that an Atlanta gunman has killed his wife, daughter and son, all three with a hammer, before going on a shooting rampage that leaves nine dead.

On "World News Tonight," Peter Jennings reports that a jumbo jetliner with more than 300 passengers crashed in a spinning metal fireball at a Hong Kong airport.

On CNN, there's a report about the earthquake in Turkey, with 2,000 people killed.

On the Discovery channel, there's a timely special on hurricanes and the terror they create in children. Hurricane Dennis has already struck, Floyd is coming.

Finally, they see a local news report about a roller coaster accident at a New Jersey amusement park that kills a mother and her eight-year-old daughter.

Nintendo was never this riveting.

"Dinner's ready!" shouts Mom, unaware that her children may be terrified by this menacing potpourri of TV news.

What's wrong with this picture?

"There's a LOT wrong with it, but it's not that easily fixable," notes Linda Ellerbee, the creator and host of "Nick News," the award-winning news program geared for kids ages 8-13, airing on Nickelodeon.

"Watching blood and gore on TV is NOT good for kids and it doesn't do much to enhance the lives of adults either," says the anchor, who strives to inform children about world events without terrorizing them. "We're into stretching kids' brains and there's nothing we wouldn't cover," including recent programs on euthanasia, the Kosovo crisis, prayer in schools, book- banning, the death penalty, and Sudan slaves.

But Ellerbee emphasizes the necessity of parental supervision, shielding children from unfounded fears. "During the Oklahoma City bombing, there were terrible images of children being hurt and killed," Ellerbee recalls. "Kids wanted to know if they were safe in their beds. In studies conducted by Nickelodeon, we found out that kids find the news the most frightening thing on TV.

"Whether it's the Gulf War, the Clinton scandal, a downed jetliner, or what happened in Littleton, you have to reassure your children, over and over again, that they're going to be OK--that the reason this story is news is that IT ALMOST NEVER HAPPENS. News is the exception...nobody goes on the air happily and reports how many planes landed safely!

"My job is to put the information into an age-appropriate context and lower anxieties. Then it's really up to the parents to monitor what their kids watch and discuss it with them"

Yet a new study of the role of media in the lives of children conducted by the Henry J. Kaiser Family Foundation reveals that 95% of the nation's children ages 8-18 are watching TV without their parents present.

How does Ellerbee view the typical scenario of the harried mother above?

"Mom's taking a beating here. Where's Dad?" Ellerbee asks.Perhaps at work, or living separately from Mom, or absent altogether.

"Right. Most Moms and Dads are working as hard as they can because we live in a society where one income just doesn't cut it anymore,"

NBC News correspondent Maria Shriver, the mother of four--Katherine, 13, Christina, 12, Patrick, 10, and Christopher, 6--agrees with Ellerbee: "But Moms aren't using the TV as a babysitter because they're out getting manicures!" says the 48-year-old anchor.

"Those mothers are struggling to make ends meet and they do it because they need help. I don't think kids would be watching [as much TV] if their parents were home organizing a touch football game.

"When I need the TV as a babysitter," says Shriver, who leaves detailed TV- viewing instructions behind when traveling, "I put on a safe video. I don't mind that my kids have watched "Pretty Woman" or "My Best Friend's Wedding" 3,000 times. I'd be more fearful if they watched an hour of local news.That would scare them. They might feel: 'Oh, my God, is somebody going to come in and shoot me in my bedroom?'"

In a move to supervise her own children more closely since her husband, Arnold Schwarzenegger, became Governor, Shriver scaled back her workload as Contributing Anchor to Dateline NBC and set up her office at home: "You can never be vigilant enough with your kids," she says, "because watching violence on TV clearly has a huge impact on children--whether it's TV news, movies, or cartoons."

This view is shared by the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, which states: ""TV is a powerful influence in developing value systems and shaping behavior...studies find that children may become immune to the horror of violence; gradually accept violence as a way to solve problems; and resort to anti-social and aggressive behavior, imitating the violence they observe."

Although there are no rules about watching TV in 49% of the nation's households, TV-watching at the Schwarzenegger home is almost totally verboten:

"We have a blanket rule that my kids do not watch any TV at all during the week," she notes, "and having a TV in their bedrooms has never been an option. I have enough trouble getting them to do their homework!" she states with a laugh. "Plus the half hour of reading they have to do every night.

According to the Kaiser survey, Shriver's household is a glaring exception to the rule. "Many kids have their own TV's, VCR's and video games in their bedroom," the study notes. Moreover, children ages 8-18 actually spend an average of three hours and 16 minutes watching TV daily; only 44 minutes reading; 31 minutes using the computer; 27 minutes playing video games; and a mere 13 minutes using the Internet.

"My kids," Shriver explains, "get home at 4 p.m., have a 20-minute break, then go right into homework or after-school sports. Then, I'm a big believer in having family dinner time. Some of my fondest memories are of sitting at the dinner table and listening to my parents, four brothers, and my grandmother, Rose. We didn't watch the news.

"After dinner nowadays, we play a game, then my kids are in bed, reading their books. There's no time in that day for any TV, except on weekends, when they're allowed to watch a Disney video, Sesame Street, Barney, The Brady Bunch, or Pokemon."

Beyond safe entertainment, Shriver has eliminated entirely the option of her children watching news events unfolding live on TV: "My kids," she notes, "do not watch any TV news, other than Nick News," instead providing her children with Time for Kids, [Teen Newsweek is also available], Highlights, and newspaper clippings discussed over dinner.

"No subject should be off-limits," Shriver concludes, "but you must filter the news to your kids."

ABC's Peter Jennings, who reigns over "World News Tonight," the nation's most-watched evening newscast, emphatically disagrees with a censored approach to news-watching: "I have two kids--Elizabeth is now 24 and Christopher is 21-- and they were allowed to watch as much TV news and information anytime they wanted," says the anchor. A firm believer in kids understanding the world around them, he adapted his bestselling book, The Century, for children ages 10 and older in The Century for Young People.

No downside to kids watching news? "I don't know of any downside and I've thought about it many times. I used to worry about my kids' exposure to violence and overt sex in the movies. Like most parents, I found that although they were exposed to violence sooner than I would have liked, I don't feel they've been affected by it. The jury's still out on the sex.

"I have exposed my kids to the violence of the world--to the bestiality of man--from the very beginning, at age 6 or 7. I didn't try to hide it. I never worried about putting a curtain between them and reality, because I never felt my children would be damaged by being exposed to violence IF they understood the context in which it occurred. I would talk to my kids about the vulnerability of children in wartime--the fact that they are innocent pawns-- and about what we could do as a family to make the world a more peaceful place.

Jennings firmly believes that coddling children is a mistake: "I've never talked down to my children, or to children period. I always talk UP to them and my newscast is appropriate for children of any age."

Yet the 65-year-old anchor often gets letters from irate parents: "They'll say: 'How dare you put that on at 6:30 when my children are watching?' My answer is: 'Madam, that's not my problem. That's YOUR problem. It's absolutely up to the parent to monitor the flow of news into the home."

Part of directing this flow is turning it off altogether at meal-time, says Jennings, who believes family dinners are sacrosanct. He is appalled that the TV is turned on during meals in 58% of the nation's households, this according to the Kaiser study.

"Watching TV during dinner is unforgivable," he exclaims, explaining that he always insisted that his family wait until he arrived home from anchoring the news. "You're darn right they waited...even when my kids were tiny, they never ate until 7:30 or 8 pm. Then we would sit with no music, no TV. Why waste such a golden opportunity? Watching TV at mealtime robs the family of the essence of the dinner, which is communion and exchange of ideas. I mean, God, if the dinner table is anything, it's a place to learn manners and appreciation for two of the greatest things in life--food and drink."

Jennings is likewise unequivocal in his view of junk TV and believes parking kids at the tube creates dull minds: "I think using TV as a babysitter is a terrible idea because the damn television is very narcotic, drug-like. Mindless TV makes for passive human beings--and it's a distraction from homework!

"My two children were allowed to watch only a half an hour of entertainment TV per night--and they never had TV's in their bedrooms.It's a conscious choice I made as a parent not to tempt them...too seductive..."

Adds Ellerbee: "TV is seductive and is meant to be. The hard, clear fact is that when kids are watching TV, they're not doing anything else!"

Indeed, according to the National Institute on Out-of-School Time and the Office of Research Education Consumer Guide, TV plays a bigger role in children's lives now than ever before. Kids watch TV an average of14 to 22 hours per week, which accounts for at least 25 percent of their free time.

"Dateline NBC" Anchor Jane Pauley, intensely private, declined an interview to discuss how she and her husband, cartoonist Garry Trudeau ("Doonesbury") handle TV-watching with their three teens, two of whom are fraternal twins. But in a written response, she agreed that kids need to be better protected from the onslaught of violence: "I was a visitor at a public elementary school not long ago, and was invited to peek in on a fourth-grade class on 'current events.' The assignment had been to watch the news and write about one of the stories. Two kids picked the fatal attack on a child by a pit bull and the other wrote about a child who'd hanged herself with a belt! They'd all watched the worst blood and gore 'News at 11' station in town. The teacher gave no hint that she was as appalled as I was. My response was to help the school get subscriptions to "Time for Kids" and "My Weekly Reader." People need to be better news consumers. And tabloid TV is very unhealthy for kids."

On this point, Ellerbee readily agrees:"I really do believe the first amendment STOPS at your front door. You are the boss at home and parents have every right to monitor what their kids watch. What's even better is watching with them and initiating conversations about what they see.If your child is watching something terribly violent, sit down and DEFUSE it. Talking makes the ghosts run...and kids can break through their scared feelings."

Adds Pauly:

"Kids," she maintains, "know about bad news--they're the ones trying to spare us the bad news sometimes. But kids should be able to see that their parents are both human enough to be deeply affected by a tragedy like Columbine, but also sturdy enough to get through it...and on with life. That is the underpinning of their security."

"I'm no expert on the nation's children," adds Jennings, " but I'd have to say no, it wasn't traumatic. Troubling, shocking, even devastating to some, confusing to others, but traumatizing in that great sense, no.

"Would I explain to my kids that there are young, upset, angry, depressed kids in the world? Yes. I hear the most horrendous stories about what's going on in high schools from my kids. And because of the shootings, parents are now on edge--pressuring educators to 'do something.' They have to be reminded that the vast majority of all schools in America are overwhelmingly safe," a fact borne out by The National School Safety Center, which reports that in l998 there were just 25 violent deaths in schools compared to an average of 50 in the early 90's.

Ellerbee adds that a parent's ability to listen is more important than lobbying school principals for more metal detectors and armed guards: "If there was ever a case where grown-ups weren't listening to kids, it was Littleton. First, don't interrupt your child...let them get the whole thought out. Next, if you sit silently for a couple of seconds after they're finished, they'll start talking again, getting to a second level of honesty. Third, try to be honest with your kid. To very small children, it's proper to say: 'This is never going to happen to you...' But you don't say that to a 10-year-old."

Moreover, Ellerbee believes that media literacy begins the day parents stop pretending that if you ignore TV, it will go away. "Let your kid know from the very beginning that he or she is SMARTER than TV: 'I am in control of this box, it is not in control of me. I will use this box as a useful, powerful TOOL, but will not be used by it.' Kids know the difference.

"Watching TV," Ellerbee maintains, "can makes kids more civilized. I grew up in the south of Texas in a family of bigoted people. Watching TV made me question my own family's beliefs in the natural inferiority of people of color. For me, TV was a real window that broadened my world."

Ironically, for Shriver, watching TV news is incredibly painful when the broadcast is about you. Being a Kennedy, Shriver has lived a lifetime in the glare of rumors and televised speculation about her own family. Presenting the news to her children has therefore included explaining the tragedies and controversies the Kennedys have endured. She was just eight years old when her uncle, President John F. Kennedy, was assassinated: "I grew up in a very big shadow...and I couldn't avoid it," she admits. "It wasn't a choker, but it was a big responsibility that I don't want my own children to feel." Yet doesn't her 15- year marriage to megastar Schwarzenegger add yet another layer of public curiosity close to home? "My kids are not watching Entertainment Tonight--no, no, never! And I don't bring them to movie openings or Planet Hollywood. I think it's fine for them to be proud of their father, but not show off about him."

How does she emotionally handle news when her family's in it? "That's a line I've been walking since my own childhood, and it's certainly effected the kind of reporter I've become. It's made me less aggressive. I'm not [in the news business] to glorify myself at someone else's expense, but rather to report a story without destroying someone in the process. A producer might say: 'Call this person who's in a disastrous situation and book them right way.' And I'm like: 'Ahhhh. I can't even bring myself to do it,' because I've been on the other side and know the family is in such pain." Read more here ข่าวไอที

A few years ago, of course, the Kennedys experienced profound pain, yet again, when Shriver's beloved cousin, John F. Kennedy, Jr., was killed in a plane crash, with his wife, Carolyn, and sister-in-law, Lauren Bessette. A blizzard of news coverage ensued, unremitting for weeks. "I didn't watch any of it...I was busy, " Shriver says quietly. "And my children didn't watch any of it either."

Shriver was, however, somewhat prepared to discuss the tragedy with her children. She is the author of the best-selling "What's Heaven?" [Golden Books], a book geared for children ages 4-8, which explains death and the loss of a loved one. "My children knew John well because he spent Christmases with us. I explained what happened to John as the news unfolded...walked them through it as best I could. I reminded them that Mommy wrote the book and said: 'We're not going to see John anymore. He has gone to God...to heaven...and we have to pray for him and for his sister [Caroline] and her children."

Like Shriver, Jennings is personally uncomfortable in the role of covering private tragedies in a public forum: "In my shop, I'm regarded as one of those people who drags their feet a lot at the notion of covering those things," he explains. "During the O.J. Simpson trial, I decided not to go crazy in our coverage--and we took quite a smack and dropped from first to second in the ratings. TV is a business, so when a real corker of a story like Princess Diana's death comes along, we cover it. I think we're afraid not to do it. We're guilty of overkill, and with Diana, we ended up celebrating something that was largely ephemeral, making Diana more than she was. But audiences leap up!

"I was totally opposed to covering John F. Kennedy, Jr.'s funeral, because I saw no need to do it. He wasn't a public figure, though others would say I was wrong. On-air, I said: 'I don't think the young Mr. Kennedy would approve of all this excess...' But we did three hours on the funeral and it turned out to be a wonderful long history lesson about American politics and the Kennedy dynasty's place in our national life.

"Sometimes," Jennings muses, "TV is like a chapel in which we, as a nation, can gather to have a communal experience of loss.We did it with the Challenger, more recently with JFK Jr.'s death and we will do it shortly, I suspect, though I hope not, with Ronald Reagan. It's not much different than what people did when they went West in covered wagons in the last century. When tragedy struck, they gathered the wagons around, lit the fire, and talked about their losses of the day. And then went on. Television can be very comforting."

In closing, Ellerbee contends that you can't blame TV news producers for the human appetite for sensational news coverage that often drags on for days at a time:

"As a reporter," she muses, "I have never been to a war, traffic accident, or murder site that didn't draw a crowd. There is a little trash in all of us. But the same people who stop to gawk at a traffic accident, may also climb down a well to save a child's life, or cry at a sunset, or grin and tap their feet when the parade goes by.

"We are NOT just one thing. Kids can understand these grays...just as there's more than one answer to a question, there is certainly more than one part to you!

[idontneednofuckinhug]

My 2018 Top 15 albums of the year

2018 was a stupidly productive year in terms of music, the last time there was this much quantity and quality of great projects and artists was probably the early 2010s when a lot of the current crop of big names were only just making a name for themselves. As a wannabe music critic I figured I'd enjoy writing and sharing the albums I've enjoyed the most this year - when I started making the list I realized exactly how much dope projects there were this year and how hard would it be for me to rank anything outside of my top 5, as I knew that was my top 5 before I even started making the list, but everything else was a nightmare. A lot of great projects, from some notable artists at that, were left out and honestly people would probably throw shit at me for some of the inclusions in my list. It's a list with a lot of musical styles and with a mix of proven artists and artists only just starting to make a name for themselves. Without further ado, let's start this list - I'll keep it brief for every album, whilst still trying to give the exact reason why I loved it.

15. J. Cole - KOD Never in my life did I think I'd rate a J. Cole album as one of my favourites of the year, I always called him a corny, fake-woke nigga who I just couldn't enjoy, because of wack bars like "You can't outfart me". Well, I was proven wrong, this year the guy made a complete 180 in the rap industry and proved people like me wrong. The project included a lot of trap beats, something completely new for him and was kept very minimalistic in terms of lyrics, whilst still making a great point and making comments on social issues, especially on songs like ATM and Kevin's Heart, discussing the curse that is money and how hard it is to be faithful nowadays. Genre: Conscious trap/Conscious rap.

14. Kali Uchis - Isolation Although she's been around for a bit, Kali Uchis's music still sounds very raw and she's still trying to find her sound in my opinion - and that's what I love about her. Isolation isn't an album you can put a label on - from Spanish pop, to RnB, to neo soul and even some hip-hop and funk, this album has everything and it's beautiful. Kali shows off her sexiness, whilst at the same time she sings about still being young and unsure about where she's going in her life, and about some of the decisions she wished she didn't do. The album is beautiful from start to finish, and although there are some blips ( I honestly didn't like the song with Gorillaz too much), I absolutely loved the passion and energy in this project. Genre: Pop/Rap/Funk/Neo Soul/ RnB/ Folk?

13. Sylvan LaCue - Apologies in Advance Probably a bit forgotten by most people since it was released on the 12th of January and because Sylvan is still relatively underground, AA is a very deep and emotional project, complemented by very jazzy and mellow production. Sylvan made an amazing concept album, showcasing the emotions you'd feel in an AA(Anonymous Alcoholics meeting), even adding 12 interludes for each step you have to take in such a meeting. The album promotes opening up about your inner demons and self-love and honestly I can't get enough of it even a year later. Genre: Jazz rap

12. Sons of Kemet - Your Queen is a Reptile An album I only just found out about, but one of my favourite jazz projects of all time after listening to it tens of times in the last week. Sons of Kemet don't seem to wear any influences on this album and have a completely unique and avant-garde sound which reflects on the album as a whole. Some parts are very mellow and traditionally jazzy and out of nowhere the song just picks up speed and starts adding tradionally african sounds, creating the feeling that you're back in the 19th century, hearing the immigrants from Africa playing their instruments. Each song represents a strong black woman from history and the album has lyrics discussing black plight. Genre: Avant-garde jazz/ Experimental jazz

11. Earl Sweatshirt - Some Rap Songs It's been a really hard year for Earl. His dad died and he never managed to amend their relationship, which was the original plan for SRS. I was very used to the typical Earl sound from the early to mid 2010s, mellow beats with very dark lyrics, with him changing flows up and making the english language his bitch. Nope. This album showcased a completely new Earl, with beats you'd never think he'd use but when you listen to him, you still know it's Earl with his crazy rhyme patterns and disgusting wordplay. The album feels like an acid trip from start to finish and my favourite Odd Future member manages to open up about his inner demons once again, and once again doing it amazingly. Genre: Hip-hop

10. KIDS SEE GHOSTS - Kids see Ghosts Out of nowhere, Kanye and Kid Cudi dropped a collab project, part of Kanye's five-drop in May and June. I wasn't expecting much as Cudi had disappointed me with his last few projects and I didn't really feel Kanye's "ye" too much. I was wrong. This album was amazing. Two people struggling with mental illness and loving themselves came out with an album with a completely new concept to both of them, discussing self love and redeeming yourself, finding what you love again. The album has this inspired production, which sounds like nothing I've ever heard, best described as psychedelic hip-hop or even rock. Although only 10th on my list, you need to listen to this album, because it's absolutely remarkable. Genre: Psychedelic Hip-hop/ Psychedelic rock?

9. Playboi Carti - Die Lit A lesson in minimalism. People have been biting Carti's style the last couple of years, whilst at the same time he's been getting a lot of crap for his lack of lyricism and the simplicity in his music. Instead of listening to all of the haters, Playboi Carti came out with a project which I'd say nearly perfects his style and what he's so good at - he lets the production and beats shine, having very minimalist lyrics and employing a vibe and energy no other trapper could create. He also mocks the people hating on him on the album with lyrics such as "Bought my mom a house of that mumblin' shit", reminding everyone where he's exactly at. Genre: Trap

8. Rico Nasty - Nasty I swear people forgot about Rico Nasty this year, although she released one of the most energetic and aggressive trap projects and honestly, bodying anything Nicki or Cardi dropped, quality wise atleast. She completely embraces her "different" persona on this album, having songs titles like "Bitch I'm Nasty" and having lyrics such as "Goodness gracious, I might give a fuck on some occasion". The album is full of this angry energy, making you want to go and break a door, whilst at the same time having witty and even humorous lyrics which keep your attention. Keep an eye on this one. Genre: Trap

7. Anderson .Paak - Oxnard Honestly, not as good as Malibu or Venice for me, but considering how high it is in my list, I think you can figure out exactly how great Andy is. This album really rejuvenates the spirit of funky and soulful hip-hop, with Paak keeping his carefree persona. It's full of groovy energy which makes you want to just dance and let go, whilst at the same time having some very funny skits and powerful and even aggressive moments. Whilst in his previous projects he had a very laid-back vibe, in this one Anderson .Paak shows us he's made it, and pretty much throws the funk and blues in your face, making for a very energetic, but relaxing listen. Genre: Hip-hop/Jazz rap/RnB/Funk/Soul

6. SABA - CARE FOR ME A very emotional and deep project, the Chicago rapper finally got the attention he deserved with his 2nd album. The album is very detailed and melancholic, in it SABA discussing issues he has with himself, the lack of love he feels he receives and the need of warmth and someone beside him. The album has beautiful singy-song moments, including a song with BJ the Chicago kid, but whilst pretty, these moments are also very dark and disturbing, as SABA often slurs his speech in them. He also discusses some of his childhood memories on the project, showcasing the hardships of growing up in a city like Chicago and the roots of some of his deep trauma. Genre: Jazz rap/ Neo soul

5. Denzel Curry - TABOO/TA1300 Dark. Angry. Powerful. Beautiful. Scary. This album has everything. The rapper split the album into three parts, which although a very new concept, proved to be a genius one. The light part of the album, which he starts it off with, shows him working on his happiness and showing everyone that his life is good and he's achieving his dreams. The second part of the album, Grey, showcases him reflecting objectively on the people hating on him, the hardships and successes of his life and the reality of the industry. The album ends with the Dark part, in which Denzel shows all of his anger, metaphorically shouting at the listener about his drug issues, about the people trying to tell him what to do and wanting to even go as far as murder. Genre: Trap/Hip-hop

4. Jpegmafia - Veteran Daaaaamn Peggy. The nigga who gives no fucks about anyone's feelings got it right. Already receiving some attention for absurd songs like "I killed a cop, now I'm Horny" and "I'd vote 4 Dona Trump", Jpegmafia made an experimental hip-hop album, consisting of raw energy and aggresiveness in some parts, and mellow and thoughtful production in others. The album has absurd samples like ODB screaming, WWE's Edge's soundtrack and guns reloading. Peggy raps about topics from wanting a nigga to test him, wanting to hear Yes Julz moan, addressing the people telling him he sold out and and even saying he doesn't care that Neogaf is dead. It's a genius work of art exploring the twisted depths of an army veteran's mind. Genre: Experimental hip-hop

3. Noname - Room 25 One of the softest and most soulful hip-hop albums of recent times, Noname once again proves how genius her lyrics can be, whilst keeping a jazzy vibe. The album is full of small details, from the proudction to the poet's lines telling the story of her life, from the beautiful to the ugly. Although at some points you can call her rapping rambling, she does so in a very soft and feminine way, reeling you in to actually want to hear more of her story, instead of being annoyed she isn't stopping. Full of relaxing and mesmerizing hooks, this album really reminds of the good old-school jazz vibe, mixed with genius storytelling and lyrics and keeping a fresh and new vibe to it, very much reminding me of A Tribe Called Quest in some regards. Genre: Neo Soul/ Jazz-rap

2. Armand Hammer - Paraffin Honestly this was my album of the year until the last few weeks, when a certain other person decided to finally drop his project. Billy Woods and Elucid once again go into the dephts of being a working-class rapper, with very hard hitting production, which although minimalistic, projects a very scary and even tiring vibe a some points, portraying what it's like to live life in a regular way. Full meaningful lyrics, and having some some very memorable hooks like "You don't work, you don't eat", Paraffin is an artistic expression of how hard it is to be an artist, whilst being unable to make enough money off of your art. Genre: Experimental hip hop

My honorable mentions, which sadly didn't make the list but were amazing projects still: Jorja Smith - Lost & Found; Pusha T - Daytona; Amine - ONEPOINTFIVE; Hermit and the Recluse - Orpheus vs the Sirens; Rae Sremmund - SR3MM; Rejjie Snow - Dear Annie; Sheck Wes - MUDBOY

1. JID - DiCaprio 2 I've known JID was next up for a year and a half now. He proved it in his last album, he proved it in the XXL Freshman class and he proved it with DiCaprio 2. Having the swagger and a nasally voice of a young K-dot, whilst having his own style, an absurd ability to switch up and create flows on the go, wordplay and lyricism which could rival even Ab-Soul and one-liners that stick like glue, JID released arguably the best project this year, hitting a mark as much as projects like Section.80 for me personally. Full of amazing production, from aggressive and trappy beats, to boom-bap, to jazzy rap and even having moments in which he sings. The Atlanta rapper comletely murders every beat, outraps every feature, including guys like Joey Bada$$, J. Cole, Method Man and 6LACK and makes 2018 his own with a project which in my opinion, will age like fine wine and will be remembered as the moment a modern legend was born. Genre: Jazz-rap/Conscious rap/ Hip-hop

[luci-in-trenchcoats]

Smallville (Part 1)

Summary: The reader is student teaching at Smallville high when she meets assistant football coach Dean Winchester. Only they have a history she can’t seem to remember...

Masterlist

Pairing: Football Coach!Dean x Teacher!reader

Word Count: 3,400ish

Warnings: language, attempted violence

A/N: This is heavily influenced by a recent binge watching of Smallville and the character Jason Teague. There will be some spoilers for Smallville season 4 but I won’t be following that storyline exactly so there’s still plenty of surprises!...

“Y/N,” said a group of the math teachers as you were walking through the teachers’ lounge with your bag, ready to head home for the day. “Pst. Come look.”

“And watch the boys football team practice? No thanks,” you said, shaking your head at them.

“Forget the team. They’ve got a new coach around there somewhere. Kid’s fresh out of college,” said one of them, peaking your interest. You spun your head around, the group of just slightly older women giving you devilish smiles. “Oh, I see we have her attention now.”

“You know there was a hiring freeze for like ten years. I will gladly take more young teachers around here. He’s probably some stupid jock type though,” you said, going over to the window.

“Yeah. I bet the guy probably can’t even tie his own shoelaces,” said a voice you didn’t recognize. You spun around to see a guy in jeans and a red polo, a whistle around his neck and you were mortified before you even got to his face. “Those silly stupid jock types.”

He had a big smile on his face as you looked away, the other teachers getting out of there, leaving the two of you alone.

“Listen, I’m sorry for how that came out,” you said.

“How’d you mean it to come out?” he asked with a smirk. You shrugged and went to looking back out the window, the man reaching his arm around you and grabbing a cellphone off the ledge. “Excuse me. I left this in here earlier on accident.”

“I...” you said, the guy laughing to himself.

“You’re Y/N Y/L/N. Senior English student teacher. I heard about you. I thought it might be nice to be friends with the only other person around here born in the last century,” he said. You laughed but covered your mouth, the man chuckling quietly. “Dean Winchester. Assistant Coach and part-time stupid jock type.”

“I’m so sorry, I-”

“I’m teasing you,” said Dean, shoving his phone in his pocket. ��If you were one of my guys, I’d make you run laps the rest of practice though.”

“It’s a good thing I’m not on the football team then,” you said, rubbing your hand over your face.

“I hear you go to Kansas State,” he said. “Student teacher, Ms. Y/N Y/L/N. You’re what, three, four years older than these kids? I bet that makes teaching hard.”

“At first it was but it’s been about a month now and I’m used to it,” you said. “Looking for pointers? You can’t be more than a year older than me.”

“Oh, no. I just had to make sure that hot girl in the hall was the student teacher before I went and said something that might get me fired,” he said with a wink. “Later, Y/N.”

You blinked at him as he left, watching him jog out down the hall and out the back door to head over to the field.

“You are something else,” you said, shaking your head. You grabbed your phone from the counter, frowning when you pressed the button and didn’t recognize the background. You groaned, realizing Dean must have grabbed yours. You ditched your bag in the room and sighed as you headed outside with it, marching over to the sidelines where the boys were running drills and Dean was sipping on a cup of water. “Uh, hi.”

“Well, must not have been too cocky for own good then,” he said with a smirk.

“I think our phones got swapped accidentally,” you said, holding his out.

“I think it might have been on purpose,” he said with another wink as he handed yours over.

“You...” you said, putting a hand on your hip. You heard someone whistle and Dean’s eyes narrow.

“Run,” said Dean. “All of you. Now.”

“But we just ran-”

“This is a young woman and we treat with them respect so for your lack of disrespect for Ms. Y/L/N, you boys will run, in full gear, until I decide you have burned that lesson into your heads good and hard. Now apologize to Ms. Y/L/N as you go. Now,” ordered Dean. You had about forty something boys run past you with apologies, Dean cocking his head at them once they were all gone. “Idiots.”

“Maybe they learned it from watching you,” you teased.

“Me? Sure. I’m cocky. But I ain’t gonna disrespect you, Y/N. Not my style. Now, I gotta compete with all those rich college guys and if I gotta play ball a little harder since I’m some decrepit old man working his 9 to 5 and I’m not binge drinking during rush week anymore, I think I got to up my game to get you to take notice. How’s it working so far?” he asked with a huge smile.

“You’re a football guy, right? How about we make a little wager?” you asked.

“Oh, I’m interested,” he said.

“If you win your game on Friday, you can take me to dinner afterwards,” you said. “If you lose-”

“You can take me,” said Dean, crossing his arms. “I like this bet.”

“That’s not what I was going to say,” you said.

“Don’t go changing the terms of our agreement on me now, sweetheart,” he said with a wink. “We on or what?”

“Yeah. You’re on,” you said with a head nod. “See you around, Winchester.”

“Oh yes you will.”

“Hi dad,” you said when you were back in your apartment, your dad yawning into the phone. “Sorry. Did you just get home from work?”

“S’okay, Y/N. What’s up, honey?” he asked.

“I met the new assistant coach at school today. We have a date on Friday night,” you said.

“You do,” he said.

“Dean Winchester,” you said, a long pause on the other end.

“Ah. It’s that time already,” he said. “I thought we’d have to wait a few more weeks.”

“If we’re not ready-”

“Plan hasn’t changed. You have to run solo on this. You’re ready for it. You know what to do,” he said.

“I know dad,” you said.

“Sweetie. Make it a good date, make him think he’s got another one coming,” said your dad.

“I know dad,” you said, nodding your head.

“When you get him alone, kill him,” he said. “It’s what we’re owed.”

“I got it dad. We’ve been over this a thousand times,” you said. “It’s why I went to that freaking school. The cocky douche won’t know what hit him.”

Two Days Later

“Y/N. Run,” said Dean. You blinked a few times, knowing you had the perfect angle, the perfect excuse, to take him down right that second. But the damn eye for an eye speech you’d spent forever hearing about from your father about was out the window. Dean shoved on your back and grabbed your arm, sprinting the two of you across the parking lot and into a car. He gunned it out of there before you were even sat properly, Dean looking back a few times before he was panting. “What the fuck was that?”

“Witches if I had to guess,” you said. “Well. One witch. Sort of.”

Dean shook his head at you before he drove to the other side of town, parking outside an apartment building.

“You’re saying a witch just tried to kill us. Do you have any idea how insane you sound?” he said, looking you up and down. You shrugged, Dean grabbing your shoulder. “That’s insane. Crap like that isn’t real. Somebody must have drugged our dinner and...I don’t know what but witches aren’t real. Monsters aren’t real.”

“Only the human kind,” you said, grabbing your blade and holding it up to his neck, Dean’s hand instantly off you.

“Slow down,” he said, holding up his hands. “You want my wallet? My car? Take it. Just put down the knife and let me leave.”

“I don’t think so,” you said, taking a deep breath. Dean swallowed hard, his breathing shallow. “Your family killed my mother.”

“What?” said Dean.

“They killed her,” you said.

“No they didn’t. Who exactly killed your mother now?” he asked.

“You’re a liar,” you said, pressing the blade against his skin.

“Maybe but not about that,” he said.

“It’s not personal. It really should be your mom to be true payback but you were available. A softer target,” you said, Dean lifting his chin when you moved the blade up.

“Was that witch real?” he asked as you started to press the blade against the skin.

“Yes,” you said.

“Then I saved your life and you owe me,” said Dean.

“I don’t owe you anything,” you said, cocking your head at him before you narrowed your eyes.

“Let me ask this. If I hit a witch with a car, would it kill it,” said Dean. You looked back over your shoulder out the window, regretting it immediately when you felt his hands pull the knife away and wrap around your wrists tightly. You tried to pull away from him but he simply shifted both your hands together and ripped off his belt, securing them together a little clumsily but it did the job.

You realized he hadn’t pointed the knife in your direction so you reached for the car door, the locks on. You hit it off but it came back on, Dean grunting.

“Do you think I didn’t realize who you were the second I saw you?” he said. “You come from a very old, very magical family. A family that has been fighting with my family for fucking ever and I-”

“Well you caught me,” you said, letting your hands rest in your lap, staring out the window.

“I can’t say I blame you for forgetting about me,” said Dean with a sad smile. “Two summers ago.”

“Two summers ago I was in a car accident. In a coma,” you said.

“Is that the story you were told?” he asked.

“Story?” you asked.

“Two summers ago you bumped into a boy on a street in Europe named Jason. Jason was supposed to get close to you to help his family he later found out but Jason fell in love with you which so was not the plan his family had. Jason made a choice to protect you from his family and he used a little witchcraft to make you forget about him, forget about the families so you could go have a normal one of your own, just like you asked when things got scary. Jason gave you up and went back to working for his family in exchange to keep you safe,” he said. “But then I saw you working in the same school as me and I knew something was wrong.”

“Make me remember,” you said. Dean leaned over and pressed a kiss to your lips, a rush of memories hitting you. You vaguely were aware of his hands on you taking the belt off before he was steadying your shoulders. You shook your head out and blinked up at him, Dean giving you a smile. “Jason.”

“My name’s actually Dean but whatever you want to call me is fine,” he said.

“You...you left me alone with my father,” you said, grabbing Dean’s collar. “He has been feeding me lies and-”

“And I figured all that out when I saw you at the school. I figured I’d get you alone so we could talk. My arrangement with my family...if they know you aren’t the harmless clueless girl anymore, they’ll come after you,” said Dean. “I think they may have already considering a witch was just on our ass.”

You paused, staring over at him for a good long minute.

“Never, ever, ever do that again!” you said, whacking on his arm. “Don’t leave me like that! You’re the only one I have ever trusted. Don’t you dare use that spell on me ever again!”

“You’re the one that told me to,” said Dean with a laugh. “God, I missed you so much, Y/N.”

“Our families are at war again,” you said, Dean nodding. “Why’d you have to be my fucking Romeo, Jason?”

“We going with Jason now?” teased Dean. You cocked your head, Dean chuckling.

“I like Dean,” you said with a smile. “I remember when you told me who you really were.”

“I remember when I found out we didn’t meet on accident,” said Dean. “I should have just run away with you.”

“Your family would have found us,” you said.

“Not if we ran away as the Teague’s. No one knew I used that name, not even them. Only you,” said Dean.

“We can’t outrun this. Look what just happened when we tried to get by and pretend it never happened. I almost killed you,” you said.

“Because your father was manipulating you the way he always tries to manipulate you. If he had a shred of decency, he would have tried to help you when you came home with no memory, not tell you lies,” said Dean.

“That was not a true witch, was it,” you said. “It seemed...like a dummy.”

“Considering my family hates witches, I’m not surprised they juiced up a scarecrow to come after you. Strange though. I only know of one spell and it’s a one hit wonder,” said Dean.

“You read those spell books after all,” you said recalling when you gave them to him, Dean shrugging. “You said they were boring.”

“They were boring. I just figured it might be a good idea if my sorta witch girlfriend had somebody else around who knew how to read latin if things went bad,” he said.

“I’m not a witch,” you said. “Magic is in my blood is all.”

“Killing witches is in mine,” he said, tilting his head at you.

“What did you do with my old books?” you asked. “Before I went all Dory on you.”

“I hid them,” said Dean. “Why?”

“I just remembered one that might help us. How opposed to tattoos are you?”

“Ouch,” said Dean, rubbing his chest. “That hurt.”

“Try having it on your freaking hip,” you said, sighing as you stepped out of the late night tattoo parlor. “Well, we’re somewhat safer now. Hexed magic won’t work on us anymore so no more nasty scarecrows to deal with.”

“Because of these tattoos?” asked Dean, lifting up his shirt.

“It’s infused with a spell in case you forgot,” you said, slowing your walk, Dean grabbing your arm.

“You okay? You’re weak,” said Dean, throwing your arm over his shoulder.

“I haven’t done magic in...ever. I didn’t realize it was this exhausting,” you said, swallowing when you realized how vulnerable you’d just made yourself. It’d been two years since Europe and Jason, or Dean. He could be a completely different man after working for his family. He could drop you off at their doorstep and they’d treat him like a hero.

“I gotcha,” he said, scooping you up bridal style, your head resting against his shoulder. “Let’s go back to my apartment. You need to rest.”

“Jas...Dean,” you said, Dean looking down at you.

“I know you’re scared and you’re a little scared of me but give me a chance. I swore I’d never let them hurt you and I’m still going to keep that promise,” he said. You nodded, holding onto the hope that he was telling the truth.

You woke up in an unmade bed, Dean walking around the bedroom with a red polo and a pair of khakis on.

“You didn’t drop me off to Mr. Evil I see,” you said with a laugh as you sat up.

“Oh, you wanted to go to your parents house?” he said with a smirk.

“Touche Mr. whatever your last name is,” you said with a laugh. “I love a man and I don’t know what his last name is. Huh.”

“It’s Dean Supersexyawesome actually,” said Dean with a wink.

“I missed you dork,” you said, Dean sitting down and giving you a long and gentle kiss.

“Winchester,” said Dean with a sigh. “Jason Teague is a fake name. Everything else, everything was real.”

“I know. Nobody could fake being that big of a hopeless romantic,” you said, Dean chuckling. He brushed a strand of hair behind your ear, cupping your cheek. “Thanks for saving me last night.”

“Thanks for protecting me,” he said, pulling down his shirt collar to show the new ink. “I called my father. He didn’t deny he sent the scarecrow after you once he heard you were in town. I tried to explain that you were confused and you’re better now but-”

“He still wants my head on a plate,” you said.

“No. He said he wants you to prove you’re not like the rest of your family. If you can do that, he’ll give you a pass,” said Dean.

“How exactly do I do that?” you asked.

“No idea. I got practice with the guys at ten this morning if you want to come with me,” said Dean.

“You’re afraid to leave me alone,” you said.

“I just got you back. I’m not losing you again,” he said. He gave you a soft smile that hid his worry well.

“What do we do about your dad?” you asked. “About my dad?”

“We tell them we’re adults and we want to be left alone,” said Dean. “Probably not a good idea for you to come knocking on my parents door though.”

“You either,” you said, looking around the room, smiling at the space. “You’re not as messy as I remember.”

“I grew up,” he said. “Got myself a big boy job.”

“You’re an assistant high school football coach,” you said.

“And you’re a student teacher,” he said a laugh. “You couldn’t stand teaching. You said so about that time you were a TA for a semester.”

“I think I let my dad persuade me into something different. You...you were always going for sports and I think I mentioned once accidentally that my boyfriend wanted to coach at a school and...let’s just run away. Like you said,” you said.

“Both of our parents are powerful and connected and they will find us,” said Dean. “Let’s just get through football practice today and then we’ll figure out our next move.”

“Nice hussle, fellas,” said Dean, patting some of the guys on the back as they took a water break that morning..

“Hey, Ms. Y/L/N,” said Clark, the school’s star quarterback as he jogged over. “You and Coach W…Are you guys together?”

“Is that your concern?” you asked, cocking your head, surprised to hear such a comment from him. He was a very nice guy, well mannered and kind to everyone at the school. His parents owned a farm close by and you quite enjoyed having him as a student from what you recalled.

“Can I speak to you both after practice? It’s important,” he said. You looked across the water table at Dean, shrugging. You and Dean weren’t breaking any rules and maybe Clark had a problem he wanted to talk to an adult about. Granted, you were only three years older, Dean four but Clark probably hadn’t grown up the way you two had.

“Swing by my office after practice, Kent,” said Dean with a nod.

A/N: Read Part 2 here!

[imjustthemechanic]

Natalie Jones and the Golden Ship

Part 1/? - A Meeting at the Palace Part 2/? - Curry Talk Part 3/? - Princess Sitamun Part 4/? - Not At Rest Part 5/? - Dead Men Tell no Tales Part 6/? - Sitamun Rises Again Part 7/? - The Curse of Madame Desrosiers Part 8/? - Sabotage at Guedelon Part 9/? - A Miracle Part 10/? - Desrosiers’ Elixir Part 11/? - Athens in October

Paris in the spring, it ain’t.

It had been cold and wet in England, and damp and chilly in France.  When the plane landed in Athens, Natasha was prepared for it to be warmer – but walking onto the jetway was like walking into a sauna. It was only about twenty degrees Celcius, but there was not a cloud in the sky and the air was thick with Mediterranean moisture.

“How did you like your first aeroplane flight?” Sharon asked Sir Stephen, as they picked up their luggage.  Months earlier, while they’d waited for night to fall in Sherwood Forest, she had pointed out an airplane and suggested that Sir Stephen might get to ride in one someday. Nat suspected it had been on both their minds all day.

“It was a bit of a disappointment,” said Sir Stephen.  “The interior is so enclosed and the windows so small, you can barely tell you’re in the air.  I liked the train much better.  You could see the countryside you were travelling through.”

“It’s not for sightseeing,” Sam agreed.  “Just for getting where you’re going.”

“If you’re in a hurry I suppose it’s fine,” Sir Stephen said with a shrug.  “You couldn’t do it for a pilgrimage, certainly.”

“Why not?” said Nat.  “Thousands of people go by air for pilgrimages every year.  It’s the only way Muslims overseas can get to Mecca.”

Sir Stephen was startled.  “But the point of a pilgrimage is to make a journey,” he protested.  “People who live in Compostela do not walk up the street to see the relics of Saint James and call it a pilgrimage.  Pilgrims are demonstrating to God that they are willing to undergo hardship.  To simply fly over all obstacles in your way makes it seem so trivial.”

“Next time we’ll let you pay for the tickets,” Clint said.  “Then we’ll see if you still call it trivial.”

Outside in the parking lot, they met the bus that would take them to their hotel, and everybody was pleased to find that it was air conditioned.  The landscape between airport and city was a wide desert valley, with hazy hills visible all around the border of it.  Life hadn’t changed much here in thousands of years – it was still all stony red soil and tiny farms, though in the twenty-first century these were as likely to host rows of solar panels as lines of olive trees.  The buildings had white walls and red tile roofs, and sheep and goats grazed on little lots of pasture.  It really did look, Nat observed, like something out of another time.

“How are we going to find Madame Desrosiers?” asked Allen.

“By talking to people,” Natasha replied.  “Expats in areas like this, warm places where people like to retire, tend to live in close-knit communities.  So we’ll have to find where the French people live, and ask around.”

“Oh,” said Allen.

Nat glanced at him.  “You sound disappointed,” she observed.

“I am a little,” he admitted.  “I was sort of hoping there was some special technique spies use.”

“Sorry!” said Nat with an amused smile.  “Sometimes good old-fashioned legwork is best.”

“Absolutely,” Sharon agreed.  “Even nowadays, when we have CCTV cameras all over the country and DNA evidence, most of what a detective does is talk to people.”

“But if we’re in Athens,” Nat added, “you guys will probably want to let me do the actual talking.  Possibly Allen, too – none of the rest of you.”

Sam, Sharon, and Clint all nodded knowingly, but Sir Stephen was confused. “Why?” he asked.

“Because they’re the Americans, Steve,” said Sharon.  “Greeks don’t like British people, and they’ll like us even less now that we’ve at least tried to give Princess Sitamun back to Egypt.”

“Why not?” Sir Stephen wanted to know.

“The Elgin Marbles,” said Natasha.   “Once we find Desrosiers, we can go see the reproductions in the Acropolis Museum, and I’ll tell you about it.”

Athens itself was a maze of little roads between somewhat shabby-looking buildings, with tiny European cars and motorcycles zipping along with little regard for pedestrians or each other.  The entrance to their hotel, located just a few minutes from the ancient acropolis, was a narrow door in between a pharmacist’s and a camera shop – Sharon and Sir Stephen checked them in at the front desk, while the rest of them took turns hauling their luggage to the fourth floor, in an elevator that claimed to be rated for the weight of nine people but didn’t look big enough to even hold three.  Once they had their rooms, they immediately turned on the air conditioning again, and since they’d had a series of very long days, they all went to bed early.

Nat was sharing a room with Allen.  As she was getting her nightshirt on, she heard him say around his toothbrush, “I didn’t know Sir Isaac Newton was an alchemist.”

“A lot of people don’t,” said Natasha.  “His alchemical writings were only discovered in the 1930’s, but there’s loads of them.  He was apparently much more interested in magic and theology than he was in science and math, he just didn’t publish what he wrote.”

“I wonder why not,” said Allen.

Nat knew the answer to that.  “Partly because alchemy was illegal in England in the seventeenth century, because the crown was tired of con men who promised to make gold but then took your gold and disappeared.  And Newton’s theological writings would have gotten him in trouble with the Church of England.  He denied the divinity of Christ, which was a heresy punishable by death.”

Allen spit out his mouthful of toothpaste.  “That would explain it,” he said with a chuckle.  “How do you possibly remember all this stuff?”

“I was trained to remember everything I read,” Nat explained, “and most of what I hear, if I’m paying attention.  Did you know that quail meat can be toxic if eaten at the wrong time of year, because the birds eat poisonous plants?  Or that a churango is a musical instrument made out of a dead armadillo?”

“No, I didn’t know any of that,” said Allen, standing in the bathroom doorway with a fond smile on his face.  “But I bet I won’t forget it.  You know who you sound like?”

“Who?” Nat asked, pulling out her own toiletries.

“My daughter,” he said gently.  “In my memories you were always full of stuff you’d learned and wanted to share.  You’d learn something new in ballet class and come home and show it to us.  Or you’d tell us what you learned in school that day – with your mouth full, when you were little.  Your Mom and I used to have to remind you to swallow first.”

Natasha could picture it – herself as a child, sitting there eating spaghetti while excitedly telling her family about… about what?  She had brought news home when she was small, but it wasn’t about her ballet classes.

“You’re upset now,” Allen observed.

“No, I’m fine,” Natasha said quickly and automatically.

Allen came and put his hands on her shoulders.  “No, I’ve upset you.  I can tell.”

She sighed and stepped away, hugging her own shoulders, then forced herself to give him a watery smile.  “It’s just that your version sounds way nicer than the real… than the one I remember.”

“Do you want to tell me about it?” he asked.

Natasha knew he was asking because he cared.  He wanted to help her bear the weight of the memories, because that was what families did.

She sat down on the bed.  “When I was little, in training, my masters at the Red Room would plant us in groups of schoolchildren who were touring government buildings or newspaper offices… places like that.  Our job was to ‘get lost’ and wander around listening to conversations among people who were suspected of political dissent.  It was towards the end of the Soviet Union, of course, but there were lengths people weren’t allowed to go to, and the Red Room was much more hardline than the government was.  I wonder sometimes, whether anybody ever got executed because of something I told my instructors when I got back.  Probably not,” she added quickly.  “Considering the times.”

Who was she reassuring, she wondered – Allen, or herself?

He didn’t reply right away, and Natasha wanted to look up at his face but didn’t dare. She couldn’t bear to find out what he was thinking.  A moment ago he’d shared that warm memory of his little daughter chatting about what she’d learned at school, and now she’d stained it with eavesdropping and possible murder.

“Even if they were, it wasn’t your fault,” said Allen.  He sat down beside her and put an arm around her shoulders. “You were a child.  You didn’t know what you were doing.”

“Yes I did,” said Nat.  “They told us – they gave us a list of things to listen for, and told us that people who said them were enemies of the State, our enemies, and we’d be making the world a better place by reporting them so that they could be removed.  And we knew what removed meant, because we’d seen it ourselves.”

Again, there was a silence.  This time, Natasha forced herself to look up and read Allen’s face.  Their room had two beds – they were sitting on the one by the window.  The window itself was closed to let the air conditioner do its job, but the curtains were open, and it was possible to see traffic moving on the street outside. Allen was staring thoughtfully out the window at the darkening sky, trying to decide what to say.  It only took a few seconds before Nat couldn’t stand it anymore.

“Allen?” she asked.  It was not a moment to call him Dad.

He looked at her and ran his hand up and down her back.  “Archaeology,” he said.

“What?” Nat asked.

“Archaeology,” he said.  “You dig up the truth and share it.”

A chill washed over Natasha.  She’d done a lot of examination in the past few months of why she’d chosen archaeology as her cover.  There was the ostensibly practical reason that she was unlikely to become famous for it – the silly but sentimental one that she’d always enjoyed adventure movies – and the one she’d come up with as potential real reason, that after so long living in the shadows she wanted to be responsible for bringing things into the light.  She hadn’t thought of it that way, that it was just another way of doing what she’d always done.

“Natasha?” asked Allen.

She swallowed.  “It is, isn’t it?” she asked.  “I expose people’s dirty secrets and tell them to the world.”

“But it’s different now,” Allen added, “because the people who kept those secrets died a long time ago, and nobody’s going to get hurt because you told.”

“I guess,” said Natasha.

Allen patted her back again.  “Was that so hard, Ginger Snap?”

That was what he’d wanted from her, wasn’t it?  That she trust him with her past and let him try to help her with it.  She’d done her best and he had too, but now that seed of self-doubt had been planted, and she wasn’t sure it wouldn’t do more harm than good in the long run.

“I don’t know,” she said, and she really didn’t.

[worryinglyinnocent]

Fic: Haven (38/50)

Summary: They say Resembool is a haven, and they’re right. Lush pastures, quaint country town, farmers’ markets on Saturdays: a bucolic paradise.

But it’s more than that. Resembool is a haven for the runaways, the deserters, the people who don’t want to be found…

The Resembool community knows there’s something odd about Hohenheim, but they’re not going to let that stop them helping him out. This is Resembool after all, a place where no one has to hide and neighbours help neighbours, be they building a fence, chasing a sheep, or trying to save the country from an evil they inadvertently helped release centuries ago…

Or: A series of slices of life in an AU in which Hohenheim never leaves, and several broken state alchemists find hope and home in Resembool.

Rated: T

==

Haven

[1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10] [11] [12] [13] [14] [15] [16] [17] [18] [19] [20] [21] [22] [23] [24] [25] [26] [27] [28] [29] [30] [31] [32] [33] [34] [35] [36] [37] [AO3]

Summary: Ed and Al manage to get themselves inducted into Alchemists Anonymous.

Characters: Ed, Al, Alchemists Anonymous

==

Ed puts it down to natural curiosity. If something is going on behind a closed door, something that involves a lot of people talking in hushed tones, then it’s only natural to want to know what it is. 

For a long time now, Dad and the ex-military alchemists have all been meeting up regularly in the kitchen. They’re practically part of the furniture now, and Ed and Al are used to their monthly get-togethers when they try to put the world to rights and attempt to avert the apocalypse. All fairly standard stuff, much the same as Mom and Aunt Sarah’s book club.

It’s once they start convening in the living room instead so that they can spread out half of Dad’s book collection all over the floor whilst they come up with a plan, and once they start closing the door, and once Fahim joins them and once Riza gets inducted into the club as well, that Ed decides that he really, really needs to know what’s going on in that room at any given time. 

Thankfully, Al agrees with him, which is how come they both end up sitting outside the closed living room door with their ears pressed up against it, trying to work out what’s going on. Mom passes them in the corridor a few times but ultimately just sighs and shrugs, going about her day. After all, Mom is Resembool born and bred, and absolutely nothing phases the residents of Resembool. 

Ed grabs a glass from the kitchen and holds it up against the wood to try and hear more, but it’s to no avail. He thinks that Dad and Roy are arguing over the solar-lunar calendar being upside down, and Tim just said something about pineapples…

He screeches as the door suddenly gives way and they both fall into the room, looking up at Ab’s amused face. Ed scrambles to his feet, brushing himself down. 

“Hi, Miss Ab.” They’ve been on first name terms with all the members of Alchemists Anonymous for a little while now, but he thinks that politeness would be best, all things considered. Ab just raises an eyebrow, not buying it for a second. Over her shoulder, he sees Fahim, Roy and Riza trying (and failing) not to laugh, Alex and Tim looking rather alarmed, and Dad looking like he’s about to face plant into the solar-lunar calendar that he’s holding.

“Boys…” he begins, but then he just gives up with a sigh. 

“We were just interested,” Ed says, deciding to launch into his defence. “I mean, you never tell us what you’re getting up to in here…”

“With good reason,” Tim points out. “You’re fourteen.”

“... and we might be able to help.” Ed ignores the statement concerning his age, however true it might be. “Come on, you can’t deny that we’re very good at alchemy. You’ve all made sure of that.”

He and Al have had alchemy lessons from all of them at some point over the last year, they even persuaded Roy to demonstrate flame alchemy even if they’re both banned from doing it anywhere near the house. 

“No.” Dad sounds pained. “Just… no.”

“I think Ed’s got a point,” Ab says calmly, to which Tim squawks. 

“You’re supposed to be on our side, Abigail!”

She shrugs. “We could use as many different alchemic perspectives as possible considering what we’re up against. I’m not saying we ought to get them involved practically, but whilst we’re still in the theory stages, we might as well hear what they have to say.”

“If we can help save the world as we know it, then that’s what we want to do,” Al says. “From what we’ve heard, it sounds like you need as much help as you can get.”

“I’m with Ab.” Fahim waves them over. “They deserve to know what’s going on, at least, and telling them out right would be better than them getting the wrong impression from listening through doors.”

Dad holds up his hands in surrender. “All right.” He gives Ed and Al a stern look. “Your mother’s already said she thinks you need to know. Take a seat and don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

X

Whilst Ed had already worked out that something incredibly big was going on, the whole thing about saving the world as we know it had seemed something of an over exaggeration until now. Now, they know that they really are attempting to save the world as they know it. 

It almost makes him regret getting involved, but they can’t back down now. They just have to push forward and do whatever they can in order to bring down the Homunculus (or Dad’s evil twin as he’s privately called when Dad isn’t in earshot). 

The problem that Ed can see is that Dad has been trying to think up a battle plan for nearly ten years and they still don’t really know exactly how everything’s going to play out when it comes down to it, especially since two of the blood crests on the nationwide circle still aren’t in place yet and whilst they can guess where they’ll be, they can’t guess what they might be. 

Lying in bed that night, Ed remembers the day that Dad nearly left, almost ten years ago when he first found out Homunculus’s plans. He’d come back same day (Ed remembers him coming back without his suitcase and Mom just holding him in the garden for what felt like hours as he had what Ed now recognises is a minor nervous breakdown), but it still makes Ed shiver to think that if he’d really left like he’d had every intention of doing, then he might not be back even now. 

“Ed?”

He looks over at Al in the darkness. 

“Yeah?”

“This is more than we anticipated, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, I think we might have bitten off more than we can chew, but you know Dad and Mom and the others won’t let anything happen to us.”

He knows that they have no intention of him and Al getting anywhere near Homunculus, but Ed already knows that they’ll likely tag along anyway, even if they have to be somewhat deceptive about it. This is too big a thing for them to be able to stand by whilst the people they love are heading into danger. 

“We can help though, right?”

“Absolutely.”

There is no way that Ed is letting a cheap imitation of his dad from beyond the alchemic Gate of Truth attempt to become God. 

And there is no way that he’s going to lose any of his family or friends in the process.

[bitchinlyras]

in your love, my salvation lies

Riley Matthews’ world is crumbling at her feet, and Maya Hart is doing the best she can stitch it back together (read on ao3)

part i

The grey clouds hang over New York like a thick blanket on the morning of October 14th. It is 8:57 and a sudden screech of tyres slash through the sound of the hustle bustle of New York.

At 9:22, that same morning, Cory Matthews’ phone begins to ring, luckily he isn’t teaching first period, and he is in the teachers’ lounge marking his freshmen’s test.

He picks it up and answers. “Cory Matthews,”

“Are you the husband of Topanga Lawrence-Matthews and father of August Matthews?” a woman says on the other end of the line.

Cory’s mouth feels suddenly dry. “Y-yes, why?”

Nothing in his 36 years could prepare him for what she’s saying; he feels light headed, and has strange sickly sensation of endless falling.

“Wh-what hospital?” he manages to ask; one hand gripping onto the edge of the table, his knuckles turning white.

“Greenwich,” the woman replies.

“Okay, I’ll, uh, be there s-soon,” he hangs up and shuts his eyes, breathing deeply in.

Riley.

His eyes snap open.

He watches through the window of the classroom door for a moment — she’s in art class, sitting next to Maya; the two are drawing some brightly coloured glass bottles on the table in front of them; Riley isn’t exactly doing a wonderful job of the drawing of the bottles, but she’s talking and laughing with Maya. She is happy, and Cory’s heart breaks.

He knocks and opens the door. “Hi, could I please borrow my daughter for the rest of the lesson?” he asks the other teacher, managing to keep his voice even; his eyes fall on Maya, “and Maya?”

“Of course, girls you are dismissed.”

Riley and Maya exchange glances, but pick up their books and leave the classroom.

“What is it, Dad?” Riley asks as they all stand in the hallway; something is wrong, she knows that, her father’s face is pale and he isn’t meeting her eyes — she instinctively reaches for Maya’s hand, who grabs hers and squeezes it firmly.

I got you, she’s saying.

“Riley,” Cory says, trying and failing to keep his voice steady.

“Dad? What’s wrong?” Riley’s own voice is trembling now; she takes a step towards her father.

“Your mom and Auggie,”

Riley feels her heart miss a beat; her hand tightening its grip on Maya’s.

“They were in—” his voice breaks, and that endless falling feeling intensifies “— an accident,”

“But they’re going to be okay?” Maya says quickly, looking from Riley to Cory desperately, the two people who have always comforted her, no matter what.

Riley feels suddenly hollow, her throat dry. “Are they alive?” she croaks out.

“Yes,” Cory breathes.

Maya lets out a sigh of relief, and gives Riley’s hand an extra squeeze. Riley makes the smallest of nods, her eyes slightly unfocused. “Riles?” Maya whispers.

“We should go,” Cory says, his voice suddenly firm, cold even, the emotion gone — he has only one thought now: Get to the hospital.

The two girls nod, and follow Cory out of the school, Maya gently leading Riley by the hand.

They take the subway (seeing as Topanga had taken their car). They don’t speak, just sit in silence, their hearts heavy and their stomachs churning.

Cory takes ahold of his daughter’s hand, and squeezes it.

It’s going to be okay.

Riley looks up and smiles at him weakly; she rests her head on his shoulder and shuts her eyes, concentrating on the fact that she can not only feel her own heartbeat but that of Maya’s and her father’s through the pulse in their hands.

Each beat whispers to her—

Alive, alive, alive.

Alive, alive, alive.

But for how long? she wonders. For how long?

In a sudden panic, as if the shock of the news has worn off (which it won’t for many weeks), they rush madly from the subway station to the hospital.

“We’re here for Topanga and August Matthews,” Cory says to the man at the desk in Emergency, struggling to catch his breath.

Riley’s jaw tenses, and Maya watches her — both are terrified.

“They’re in surgery—”

“Are they okay?” Riley blurts out suddenly, her voice wavering; Maya squeezes her hand again.

“They were both brought in with some serious internal bleeding, as well as a spinal cord injury, some cracked ribs, and minor injuries,”

“What does that mean?” Riley asks, on the verge of tears.

“Riley,” her father says, concerned.

“It means they’re both in critical condition, but our surgeons are doing everything in their power to save them.”

Riley inhales sharply and nods.

“How long will they be in there?” Cory asks.

“I can’t say,” he says apologetically, “but if you wait in the waiting room, the surgeon will hopefully be out soon.”

Cory gulps and nods. “Thank you.”

Together, they slump into three chairs in the waiting room. Cory bows his head, his hands up to his face; Riley rests her head on Maya’s shoulder, who strokes her hair gently; their fingers still entwined.

And the waiting begins.

Riley sits there, aware of her heart beating in her chest, of each breath and each blink, yet it’s as if her body and mind exist as a complete different entities; she’s never felt so hollow and devoid of emotion in her life, but whenever a doctor steps into the waiting room her heart goes into overdrive and all the emotions rush to her at once — pain, anxiety, anger, despair. The doctor will call a different name, and a different group of people will go up and Riley will shut her eyes and go back to just existing.

Maya’s eyes dart back from Riley and Cory, no one speaks, no one moves.

“Mr Matthews?” Maya asks quietly after half an hour, though it feels like a century.

Cory looks up at her, his eyes painted with pain.

“Do you want me to call Shawn?”

His shoulders sag, and a ghost of a smile flickers across his face. “Yeah,” he breathes out, as though scared that should he say anymore it’ll all come pouring out.

Maya disentangles herself from Riley carefully, who looks at her wildly — with wide fawn like eyes — at the feel of movement.

“I’m just calling Shawn,” Maya says gently, standing up.

Riley nods, and sinks back into the chair; her eyes glassing back over.

Her apathy physically pains Maya, never before as she seen her so… lifeless.

The moment Maya leaves the waiting room she lets it all crash down onto her. She shuts her eyes and slides down the wall, her sobs echoing throughout the hallway.

This isn’t fair.

This shouldn’t be happening.

They have to be okay.

They have to be.

With trembling fingers she unlocks her phone and calls Shawn.

“What’s up, Maya?” he answers.

She lets out another sob.

“Maya? What’s wrong?” Shawn says immediately.

She shuts her eyes, and takes a deep breath in. “I’m at the hospital,” her voice manages to barely wobble.

“Oh my god, what’s wrong? Is it you? Is it Riley? Is it—”

“Topanga,” Maya cuts him off, her voice quiet, “and,” her voice breaks, “Auggie.”

She hears Shawn inhale. “Are they…”

“They’re alive, but—” her voice cracks and tears run down her cheeks “—I don’t know, I don’t know,”

“Greenwich Hospital?” he asks, his voice strained.

Maya nods, then remembers he can’t see her. “Yes.”

“I’m leaving now,”

“Dad,” Maya says before he can hang up.

“Yeah, kiddo?”

“Drive safe,” she sobs, and Shawn feels his heart break.

“I will, I love you,” he tells her.

“Love you too,” she whispers breathlessly.

Shawn hesitates for a moment. “Go be with Riley, she needs you,” he says.

“Okay,” Maya says, and she hangs up the phone with gulp.

Wiping her eyes, she stands up and walks back into the waiting room.

Shawn arrives barely twenty minutes later, the two girls sit up, and Cory rushes to him, and the two embrace tightly.

Maya and Riley watch them; a tear falls down Riley’s cheek when she hears her father sob.

“It’s gonna be okay, Cor,” Shawn says, just like he’d said all those years ago when it had been little baby Josh in the hospital.

Cory gulps and looks at his best friend. “I hope you’re right.”

Shawn looks over at the girls, who take that as their cue to come over. He hugs them both at once, “I called your mom, Maya, she’ll be here soon.” Maya thanks him as they let go.

“It’s gonna be okay, girls,” he tells them.

They look up at him — but what if it isn’t?

“What’s that thing you always tell us to believe in, Riley?”

“Hope,” she replies quietly.

“Exactly, and hope we will.”

“Hope we will,” the girls murmur back.

Within just 5 minutes of Katy’s arrival, a doctor walks into the waiting room.

“August Matthews,” she calls out.

Riley gulps and exchanges a look with Maya.

This is it, the moment of truth.

Maya squeezes Riley’s hand; Riley reaches out with her other hand and grabs her father’s.

Together, they all hurry quickly, yet apprehensively to the doctor.

“We’ve done all we can for now—” she starts.

“For now? He’s okay?” Cory asks in a rush.

“He’s alive, but his condition is slightly unstable,”

‘What does that mean?” Cory asks.

“It means he could go either way,” she tells them.

Riley inhales sharply, but her heart beats with happiness.

He is alive, that’s all that matters.

“He might be comatose for a while — a couple of days at the most. His spine was severely injured, so there’s a chance he won’t walk again if he wakes up.”

Cory nods slowly, and Riley folds into Maya, sobbing into her shoulder.

“Um.. can we… can we go see him?” Cory asks.

The doctor nods. “He’s being taken up to the ICU as we speak.”

“What about my wife? Topanga Lawrence-Matthews?”

“As far as I know she’s still in surgery,”

“Do you know when she’ll be out?”

“No, I’m sorry, Mr Matthews,”

Cory shakes his head. “No, um, it’s okay, thank you for.. for everything you’ve done,”

She smiles sadly, and walks away.

Cory turns to Shawn and Katy. “Could you stay down here, and if anything… if there’s any news,”

“We’ll call you right away,” Shawn finishes for him, reaching out and squeezing his shoulder, and Katy nods, a sympathetic look on her face.

“Thanks,” Cory murmurs, the words barely a noise. He turns to Riley. “Do you want to come up with me to see Auggie,”

Riley, her eyes bloodshot and her cheeks glistening, nods. “Maya, come,” are the only words she manages to get out.

The ICU is one of the strangest places Riley Matthews has been. There are people — doctors and nurses and patients, and the friends and family of the patients, half of whom are emotionless and the other half of whom seem to be overflowing with emotions. It is both empty and full.

Riley doesn’t register much, just the faint voice of the woman at the desk telling them Auggie is in Room Fourteen, and the feel of the pulses of her father and Maya as they hold hands.

Alive, alive, alive.

A nurse is fixing up the IV when they enter Auggie’s room; a heart rate monitor is beating steadily, a good sign, Riley thinks.

The nurse looks up and smiles. “You must be August’s family,”

“Auggie,” Riley corrects her automatically.

“Pardon?”

“Auggie, um, we call him Auggie,” she says quietly, shrinking back into Maya.

“Well, Auggie is a strong little boy,” the nurse says good-naturedly. “I’ll leave you to it, press the call button if you need anything.” She leaves the room and the three of them approach Auggie’s bed timidly.

He looks small and fragile, Riley thinks, barely human connected to all those wires. His head is wrapped in bandage, a tube is in his mouth to help him breathe, and there’s a cut sewn up with stitches on his cheek. A sob echoes in Riley’s throat, and Maya pulls her into a hug.

“Hey, Aug,” Cory says gently, sitting in the chair next to the bed; he reaches out and takes Auggie’s hand. “I’m so, so proud of you, bubba. You’re so,” his voice cracks, “so brave,”

Riley uncurls herself from Maya’s trembling embrace, and looks at her father, before looking over at her brother, her brother who had been so full of life just a few hours ago. “I love you, Auggie,” she says after a minute or two of only the sound of his heart rate monitor. “I love you so much.”

Cory reaches out and pulls his daughter into a hug and, sobbing, Riley clambers onto his lap, clutching her father desperately.

“You better get better, Auggie,” Maya says, holding back her tears, “or I swear to God,”

Cory and Riley both laugh half heartedly, and Maya smiles at them, her eyes swimming with tears. She wipes them stubbornly, but Riley is already up and hugging her.

“Thank you, Peaches,” she murmurs into her.

“You don’t need to thank me,” Maya replies shaking her head, and they break apart. “I love him,” she says, her voice cracking, “and I love your mom, and I love you,”

“I love you too,” Riley whispers, and Maya smiles weakly, wiping her eyes again.

Riley pulls another chair up, and the two squeeze into it.

“We love you, Auggie,” she says loudly, “please get better.”

His heart rate monitor continues to beep reassuringly, and downstairs, one flatlines.

“Topanga Lawrence-Matthews,” a doctor calls out to the waiting room; Shawn and Katy glance at each other, and take hold of each other’s hand, breathing in deeply.

They get up and walk over to the doctor, a sinking feeling in Shawn’s stomach.

“Mr. Matthews?” the doctor asks, and Shawn shakes his head.

“No, I’m a friend, her husband is upstairs with their son,” Shawn explains. “Is Topanga okay?”

“We tried everything,” the doctor says, and Shawn can see his lips moving after that but he can’t hear anything else, and his vision becomes blurry; he knows what that means. Topanga. Topanga, his sister in every way that counted. Topanga, who he’d known since he was four. Topanga. Dead.

Cory. His best friend. The love of Topanga’s life. Upstairs.

He becomes vaguely aware of his surroundings, of Katy sobbing with her hand over her mouth, of the doctor explaining what exactly had happened, of other people averting their eyes, praying that won’t be them in the near future.

“Now, I can tell Mr. Matthews if you’d like,” the doctor says, but Shawn shakes his head.

“It has to be me,” he gulps, tears blurring his vision. “I should tell him.”

Katy squeezes his hand and rests her head on his shoulder, tears sliding down her cheeks.

The walk up to the ICU is the hardest thing Shawn Hunter has ever had to do. With each step, each heartbeat he can feel himself getting closer and closer to shattering what is left of his best friend’s world.

He pushes open the door to Auggie’s room, and Cory, Riley, and Maya all turn at the sound of it.

For a moment none of them speak, and maybe in that instant they know, maybe they can tell from Shawn’s broken face.

Auggie’s heart monitor beeps.

“How’s Topanga?” Maya finally asks, her voice trembling.

Shawn breathes in deeply, and bites the inside of his cheek to stop from crying. “Um, they… they couldn’t… she… she didn’t make it,” he croaks, and he starts to cry, “she didn’t make it, Cor,”

Auggie’s heart monitor beeps and none of them seem to breathe.

Shawn’s not sure which is worse — Riley’s face or Cory’s face.

“Um can we… can we see her?” Maya asks, her voice breaking and her face screwed up as if in confusion to stop the tears

Katy nods. “The doctor said we could come down in the next fifteen minutes to say goodbye, after that they’re…” she pauses and gulps, “they’re turning off the life support,”

“Do you wanna come, Cor?” Shawn asks.

Cory looks at him emptily. “I need to stay with Auggie,” he says, almost robotically.

“I can stay,” Shawn says, but Cory shakes his head.

“No. I need to stay. Topanga would want me to.” Cory says firmly, turning away from the others and back to his son before he can see Shawn nod.

“Riley, are you coming?” Maya asks softly, giving her hand a slight tug.

Riley nods slowly.

The walk down to Emergency is the hardest thing any of them have had to do.

Riley breaks when she sees her mother’s body. Her sobs echo throughout the room, piercing Maya’s heart. Riley’s knees give out, and she stumbles, Maya catching her before she falls. Riley’s sobs are more like screams, and the raw sounds rips through them all. Shawn and Katy hug the girls, as Maya sobs and Riley screams. Next to them, Topanga lies lifeless.

[stark-park]

Once Upon a Child (5/9)

Chapter: 5 - Eat Your Heart Out

Other Chapters: 1  2  3  4  6  7  8  9

Summary: With their daughter enjoying her happy beginning and their infant son still young, Snowing decide they need a hobby, or at least, a way to help Storybrooke in the ways they used to with their kingdom in the Enchanted Forest. Therefore they decide to help those most unfortunate: the orphaned and lost children at Misthaven Home for Children. But when one child is unlike the others, their hearts and their home go out to him in the hopes they can help.

Rating: PG, there's nothing too horrifying, mostly fluff

Disclaimer: Based on ABC's Once Upon A Time and I do not own any of their characters, plots or locations. I am but a loyal fan, loving of the show and simply borrowing the beautiful characters.

"Well?" Emma quizzed Dr Whale.

"You were right." He confirmed, "Kind of."

"Kind of?" Snow repeated, "Is he deaf or not?"

"Partially."

"That certainly explains a lot." David stated. It certainly did. Aside from being Ancient Greek, the poor boy struggled to even hear. No wonder he didn't communicate with anyone.

"Is there anything we can do for him?" Snow asked Whale.

"Well, judging from the degree of damage-"

"Damage?" David repeated.

"Yes, it looks as though there's been some physical trauma to the skull around, particularly his right ear but there's also trauma to the left one."

"Could someone have done this to him?" David asked, his mind spilling with various scenarios of what Ellion could have gone through before he arrived in Storybrooke.

"It's possible. It's also possible he was involved in a crash of some sort."

"So," Snow said, trying to steer the conversation away from this tangent, "Is there something we can do?"

"Right, yes, but how successful it will be, we won't know until we try. We can implant hearing aids to try relieve some of the pressure on the inner ear and allow for some, if any, sound waves to perforate the barrier the damage has created. It's more likely to work for the left ear as there is less trauma, but of course-"

"We won't know until we try." Emma finished.

The adults exited Dr Whale's office with more of an understanding about the boy, but there were still so many mysteries to be solved.

"Hi Love." Killian said. He sat in the waiting room with Ellion asleep across the chairs beside him. At the behest of his wife, he'd joined them at the hospital - without his hook, who knows what the child would have insinuated from that - to keep an eye on the boy whilst Emma, and her two thoroughly confused parents, tracked down some answers.

"Tad late for a bit of reading isn't it?" Killian observed, nodding at the storybook Snow had been holding since they left home.

"What? Oh! This, yes! Henry thinks he found what story Joe is from!" Snow explained.

"Really?" Emma said, "And you only thought to tell us now?"

"I'm sorry, our minds were on finding him and then you found out why he didn't talk and-"

"It's okay, I get it." Emma intervened, "So? Can we take a look?"

"Page 70." Charming noted as his wife flicked through the pages of Once Upon A Time Volume VII.

"Here it is," Snow declared. The trio occupied the three chairs adjacent to Killian.

"The story of Tristan and Yvaine." Snow read aloud.

"I recognise those names!" Emma cried.

"Dammit, I forgot where they're from." She huffed.

"It's okay, maybe it'll come to you while I keep reading." Snow suggested. "Tristan, in comparison to everyone else in this story, was rather normal. That is, until he journeyed through the wall into the kingdom of Stormhold-"

"Oh!" Emma cried, her hands frantically flapping about. "I know this story! I remember! It's Stardust!"

She grinned until she noticed the bewildered expressions of her family. "You haven't watched Stardust?"

"Cursed." Snow justified.

"Pirate." Killian added.

"Ugh." She grumbled, "You guys have missed so much."

"So, what happens in Stardust? Anything about a little boy?" Snow asked hopefully.

"No, not that I remember."

"Why don't you briefly tell us the story and maybe we'll have a better understanding?" Charming suggested.

"Well, this guy Tristan goes to Stormhold to find his mom with this magic candle but he starts thinking of his girlfriend instead, well, she's not really his girlfriend. She's a pretty horrible person actually, manipulative, materialistic-"

"Love," Killian paused her, "Is this maiden truly pertinent to the story?"

"Uh, no. Sorry." Emma blushed with embarrassment. "Okay so, he starts thinking of this fallen star him and his girlfriend saw and how she would marry him if he brought her the star. But it turns out that the star is actually a person, a woman, called Yvaine."

"How can a person be a star?" Snow asked.

"I... I don't know, magic I suppose? How can a daughter be the same age as her parents with her century-year old husband? Magic." Only when Emma said it out loud did it dawn on her that her bizarre explanation was in fact her current situation, and it was all thanks to magic.

"Okay, but does she look normal? Or is she, you know, shiny?" Charming pressed, still confused by the Stardust world.

"Um, I guess she's pretty normal looking. Pale skin, white blonde hair... oh and she's a star so she shines when she's happy."

Snow and Charming looked at each other, clearly questioning the same thing.

"You don't think?" He asked his wife, staring into her eyes for certainty.

"He might be." Snow admitted.

"Wait..." Emma knew when her parents had twigged something, it was only a matter of time before she too worked out their revelation.

"Seriously? You think Joe is a star?"

"For all we know, he could be." Snow whispered, as if unsure whether to fully commit to the possibility.

"Why not finish the tale love?" Killian offered, hoping the story would provide some more concrete answers.

“Okay. So Tristan and Yvaine meet but there’s people looking for her. There’s this witch, I don’t remember her name but she’s played by Michelle Pfeiffer, and she wants to cut out Yvaine’s heart and eat it so she can stay young.”

“That’s horrible!” Snow gasped, throwing her hands to her mouth. “Do you think that’s why he ran away?”

“What? No!” Emma rushed, cursing herself for sending her mother into panic, yet again. “Mom, that’s just the movie! I could be wrong. I probably am- I, uh...” She trailed off, looking to her father desperately in the hopes he could instrument a reasonable and calm plan.

“Snow, Honey, why don’t we read the rest of the book? Maybe that will shed more light. Movies are just fantasy, this book is what really happened.” Oh thank you so much! Emma’s eyes screamed.

“Alright.” Snow agreed, her head nodding less and less ferociously as the seconds passed.

Ellion, on the other hand, had been calm and peaceful all while he slept. His pirate guardian subconsciously patting the boy’s back softly as he dreamt.

*****

Lights danced amongst the darkness, their ambient shine getting lost as it travelled through the vacuums of space. Whirlpools of luminous serenity collided angelically with indistinct patches of obscurity; concealing the deepest secrets of this galaxy and the next. It was as if someone had taken the sky as their canvas, spilling over an array of blues, reds and golds into a mist of ivory and shadows. Flickering silver sparks captivated those who stared up at the night's sky, especially those that waltzed alluringly across it, becoming the pinnacles of their dreams and desires.

Ellion looked out at the myriad of pulsating lights, the humming of ancient songs, where beings fantasised over joining the stars, drifted softly through the atmosphere. Amongst the hushed lullabies, sung to aid those falling asleep beneath the night sky, was the whispering of others directly to Ellion.

"Tell them!" Urged the wise Altair.

"You are safe." Came the echo from one winking from afar amidst an ominous blackness.

"He could use the book!" Flashed another, providing Ellion with the crucial counsel he needed.

Just then, a peculiar sound arose, forcing Ellion - however unbearable it was - to leave his homeland. He slipped from the blinkering suns and swirling darkness back into the embodiment of the young boy.

*****

A piercing alarm sounded in the hospital, making Snow and Charming stand up instinctively, ready to be called upon for aid.

"Mom, Dad, it's okay, the doctors have got this." Emma reminded them, her hand pulling at the storybook Snow was still holding (the only thing she could reach from her laid back position in her chair). However, instead of sitting down Snow let the book leave her grasp and it dropped with a thud to the floor as Emma just failed to catch it.

"Do you think they need some help?" Snow asked her husband, both lost in a trance as they worried over the bustling nurses and doctors. While Emma pulled herself from her chair to wave unsuccessfully in front of her parents, Killian recovered the neglected storybook, flicking through to the star-eating witch story.

"Maybe we should just see-" Charming insisted, him and Snow creeping over to the reception desk with the intent on "helping". It was at this point the alarm was switched off and the snoozing child began awaking from his slumber.

"Hey, you're awake." Emma noted, her observation pulling her parents from their urge to involve themselves in the hospital's emergencies.

Ellion rubbed his eyes and stretched his arms. His gaze landed on the book Killian was holding, now showing the last pages of the story with a rather artistic drawing spreading across an entire page.

A lonely, winding path led the eye from the corner of the page into the fantastical world of Stormhold and onto the foot of a mountain. Engulfed in buildings; the top of the mountain was home to the monarchy with their impressive construction, resembling, somewhat, an ancient Greek colosseum. A magnificent tower, built into the rim, soared above the rest of the buildings, it's structure ablaze with golden lights as it depicted a celebration of sorts. A brightness paralleled only to that of the glistening stars above.

As soon as the little boy noticed the picture, he tapped his index finger upon the golden shapes replicating the stars, smiling at Killian as he did so, before pointing at Emma, then back to the stars in the picture.

The surrounding adults were held in amazement by the sudden change Ellion displayed. Not only was he engaging with them, trying to send a message, but he was glowing. Or as they would have described it: shining.

The little boy, apparently unaware of his highlighted body, continued his actions; tapping the book, pointing at Emma, then tapping the book again.

"Yeah, nice." She murmured eventually, her sarcasm lost on the deaf boy. She looked to her parents for help, hoping they would at least have an inkling at what he was trying to say. Alas, they were equally as puzzled.

From out of nowhere, Killian marvelled: "Awe, he thinks you're a star Love." His tone was tender, as if he already knew this to be true.

"Why?" Emma choked, her nose wrinkling at her husband's analysis.

Then Charming piped up, slightly aghast at the remark, "Because you are a star! And don't let anyone ever tell you otherwise!" Whoa, protective dad mode activated, Emma thought. A hint of a smile on her face let slip she secretly loved the overprotection.

The thought of denial crossed her mind, but Emma couldn't bring herself to shut down the little boy shining in front of her. Instead, she smiled and pointed at him, knowing full well what his answer would be by now, "Are you?"

A relieved grin spread across his face. To think, before tonight he'd been so cautious the entire time he'd lived in Storybrooke, just in case someone discovered he was a star. The adults weren't completely sure of why his nap had warranted such a reverse in behaviour, but they were thankful it had. They could finally begin to understand his anxious glances and mute responses, but more importantly, help him to overcome the obstacles he had faced alone.

A tear escaped Snow's eye as the boy not only smiled, but nodded in response to Emma's question.

"So," Dr Whale said, coming round the corner with a clipboard, "There's been a cancellation so I can fit the hearing aids tomorrow morning at 10:20. How does that sound?" He paused in horror, realising the poor choice in words before swiftly shrugging off the guilt.

"Tomorrow sounds great." Snow replied, apparently not cottoning on to the pun.

When it came time to leave, Emma and Killian parted ways with the three, leaving Ellion quietly upset. He clutched the storybook while Snow crouched to his level, "It's okay, we'll see them soon enough."

The pair were not the type to force something, so Charming gestured towards Ellion, walked his fingers in his direction then paused to himself and Snow, asking, "Do you, want to come home, with us?"

There was a pause while Ellion considered what they were asking, Charming and Snow meanwhile, were silently hopeful. The message was understood, and after a moment longer, he eventually took Charming's hand.

Other Chapters: 1  2  3  4  6  7  8  9

[grinwolfe]

What it's like living here

I would like to tell you a story. A long story. It doesn't matter if you believe it or not. Maybe one day you'll find yourself in a situation and some part of this will resurface from ancient memory and absorb some of the shock. Or maybe you already know, and my story might provide some validation or relief. The point is, it's a story and we always learn things in stories. I live in a prairie. I live where hardly anyone comes to visit and half the people who live here want to leave. I live with extreme heat and drought, extreme rain and floods, the occasional snow and hail in July, 8 months of winter, the highest crime rate in my country, plagues every year of different insects and animals (this is the jack rabbit and bumblebee year, so it's a good year), and the most light on average in a year, with our 180° skies and endless fields. It takes hours to get anywhere else, there aren't any public buses anymore for between the towns, so if you're on your own and have no car, best of luck to you and see you in two days. There is nowhere to hide from the sun, the bugs will feast on you, as will bears, cougars and coyotes once you've been trampled/gored by a moose or stag. This is a desolate, dangerous, empty space where if you stop and listen for a while, you start to feel the great expanse of ever consuming existence and how small and very very mortal you are. How fragile and brief we all are, and quite meaningless. That silence can either take you to new levels of consciousness and understanding, or drive you insane until you are babbling and screaming just to hear anything beyond the soft drone of all those bugs who want to eat you and the hungry giggling of a pack of coyotes. That is where I live. I also live in a century old house. This is quite the accomplishment; there aren't many of them left in the community where I live. Anything old, antique, or possesses character is immediately destroyed because 'it doesn't appeal to businesses.' A plain metal box always replaces it, which is the ugliest damn thing you've ever seen. My house is 110 years old, maybe older; the furthest the records go back is 1906 and my house was already built then. It came from a Sears catalogue and was built by laymen. I exist because of this house. It brought my parents together; my mom was my dad's first and last renter who only ever paid one months rent because she lost her job. I grew up in this house, amid the constant reno's saw dust, rusty nails, century old horse hair, exposed wiring, and power tools. My father is still renovating it. No, it isn't in that bad of shape, he's just really bad/slow at it and is very possessive of the house so he refuses to let anyone outside of me or mom help. And we don't like to help him because he's a huge jerk when you help him. You need to know all of this because understanding the circumstances of growing up in this house, in this place, adds another unnerving layer upon my tale. It's hard to know if it was like what I remember before I was born, or if activity ramped up as I grew up. I have no way of finding out because neither of my parents are a)organized, b)observant c)tolerating of differences. The earliest event I can remember was the most traumatic. I was around the age of 4, and while my parents watched tv in the living room, I went into the kitchen with their permission to grab a caramel candy. Our kitchen has one huge single pane window looking into our backyard and midway up I saw two lights reflected in the glass. My first instinct was that those lights were reflected from a hallway light behind me. I wasn't wrong. I just didn't immediately grasp that the light was rebounding off two eyes that were over ten feet (over 3 m) off the ground. Not little eyes either. They were yellow white, round, forwards facing, 1 1/4" (32 mm) in diameter and roughly 8 inches. And they were staring right at me. Do you know what that is? Because I still don't. Frankly, it's amazing I didn't pee myself. I was so scared, I couldn't scream or make a noise. I collapsed and played dead like a baby deer while trying to slowly crawl out of the kitchen while gasp crying softly for my parents, terrified that the monster will come through the glass. I eventually made it, got rebuked for crawling on the floor, and then I hid under the coffee table while they watched their show. It wasn't until the end of their show that they bothered to ask why I hadn't said a word and was still under the coffee table. They dismissed my fears. To this day they denied it ever happened, yet they still mock me for saying back then, 'the trees have eyes.' From then on, I avoided that window, or any ground floor window at night, afraid of what I would see for 10 years. Blinds and a heightened night vision became my friend. I figured if the lights were off around me, then nothing outside could see me. I would not, and still don't sit with my back to windows. That was only the beginning. As I child I remember hearing things that didn't make sense; footsteps around the house, mysterious bangs, someone calling my name, and a full blown tea party in the kitchen when no one was home. I challenged my parents the next day about why I wasn't invited to the party, it was only 9:30 but they replied there was no party, the babysitter left at 9 and they didn't get home until 11. Things went missing and I would get blamed until I realized how disorganized and irresponsible with other people's stuff my parents were. Then we all blamed each other. Toys that I broke by accident were mysteriously repaired, and I know for certain that my parents would never miss an opportunity to turn something I did into a lecture, and pound their chests on how benevolent and wonderful they are to fix it and how grateful I should be for the next year and how Santa would bring me one less present. When I was ill, someone would tuck me in and wipe my forehead but when I opened my eyes no one was there. Our three cats also saw things, as did I. Things that moved fast but were otherwise transparent. The cats were very affected, flight or fight modes activated, hissing, growling, mews of fear, charging and fleeing. I was 6 when I heard about ghosts from a friend, and that seemed to make sense. But ghosts scared me so ghosts became a banned thought in my home and if you dared bring up the subject you were met with 'don't be ridiculous, that's a silly thing to think, you're letting your imagination get away with you and are irresponsible with your things,' and I had to agree because I was six and what the hell did I know? As I got older and my dad ripped more of the house apart, events became less frequent but more intense. Once in the early morning before school, my stereo went crazy, flipping through all the station MANUALLY (the dial was turning) while a very loud buzzing traveled around my room, occasionally dive bombing me. If it was a bee, then it was a bee the size of a guinea pig, but I would've seen that and I saw nothing. I screamed for my dad, who also heard it, who also couldn't figure out what was making it, and then leaving it unresolved with a 'stop wasting my time.' I ran in, grabbed the rest of my clothes and changed in the bathroom. I never heard that buzzing again and never found a very large insect in the house. I saw shadows watching me at night in my room, and shadows of insects and insect like things crawling around in my home. I honestly thought I was going crazy. Since then I've been tested for schizophrenia and psychosis and nope, I'm an average crazy, no more sane than anyone else. Then things got more obvious. Once, while dancing in my kitchen (i only dance when I'm alone) I was startled by a young man, about 16, quickly leaning out from behind my refrigerator to say 'hi!' in the most excited pleased tone you can imagine. I screamed of course and tried to leap up onto the opposite counter tops and by that point he was gone but I still remember what he looked like from the waist up (the rest was hidden behind the refrigerator). He had suspenders, a green shirt, one of those paperboy caps, a round raw face like it had been cooked, with a short button nose and bright blue eyes. He was genuinely pleased to meet someone close to his age, or that's how it felt. On another occasion, in the morning, a different young man walked into my room and said 'my name is Marlow.' It was so clear. I sat right up, he had vanished by then and said loudly 'who the f@ck is Marlow???' Funnily enough, he did resemble Christopher Marlowe a little, but I refuse to believe a 17th century poet/writer decided to visit me in my bedroom. Also, I still don't know who the f@ck Marlow is. When I misbehaved or shirked chores I got tapped. Anywhere, often on the top of my head, sometimes on my ear or shoulder. Soft the first time but if I had been ignoring it by the 3rd then they got harder. Last year a hand fondly patted/ ran through my hair. I could feel the individual fingers on my scalp. Not everything has been benign. My dad took down a wall in the basement and suddenly there was a Shadow Person, which for the uninformed is a non-human entity and they generally mean bad news, like this one. I did not know this at the time, I thought I was going insane and the internet couldn't answer my questions. They are incredibly malevolent, and this one kept threatening all of us, intending to kill any and maybe all of us for pleasure. But my feckless parents were in more danger than me because they couldn't see it. It fell entirely to 15 year old me to research and handle it. I begged my mom to help, even though she laughed in my face, and I told her I was scared for their lives. They couldn't even help me keep it contained in the basement (for some reason the doors -which were original, kept it from moving around freely.) For a month, that thing steadily increased its energy and territory. It grabbed my ankle as I was going up the stairs and chased me the rest of the way up. Half of me thought I had finally lost it, but another part of me, that rational side, trusted my instincts because if we were really in danger, now was not the time to ignore it. I eventually triumphed; I used the door trick, specifically the front door. I locked it out of the house and now it's out there in the world but not terrorizing me. I thought when I went to college that all that would change, that I'd be away from trigger memories and in a new place in a safe supportive setting doing something that I loved. Not so. The forest next to the college also possessed things, some of which were even worse and more powerful than the Shadow Person. Luckily, I only saw them from a distance and through my window. I have had CAT scans done, MRI's, I've talked with psychiatrists, neurospecialists, psychotherapists, and have had 3 psychoanalysis done. None of them can explain any of this and no one wants to try. I tell them what I've experienced and they go silent because they're rational, scientific doctors and though in every other way I am sane, what I am saying must be impossible. So I researched. And researched. And researched. Now? I'm not scared of ghosts, nor do I go looking for them. They're people without bodies, but still people. They're going to be just as enthusiastic, seedy, annoying, mean, bossy, or kind as they were in life and mostly don't want to be bothered or have their home ripped apart. Don't mess with things you don't understand is a good rule of thumb. It might be fun to scare yourself and your friends silly by trying to summon something BUT DON'T. It's not worth it, and you might have to face consequences that will stick with you forever. Plus, it's kinda rude. But if you get a Shadow Person, or some other non-human entity, dude, get that shit dealt with right away by a professional. They do exist. As for me, I'm just fine. Back in this old house for now, the remaining spirits are on good terms with me and are waging war on dad and his eternal renovations. I expect when he passes, he'll be in this house too, there is no wall, no floor, nothing he has not put his mark on. And as long as the people standing in the back yard watching the house don't get in, we'll be fine for a while yet.

[forevercaroline]

Sneak peeks.

@eloiselili asked for sneak peeks from 9, 10, 16, 18 9 changing history chapter 3: Hope time travels to mystic falls season 4 and her family goes back in time to find her. "Yesterday I was here and I heard a thud coming from upstairs I went to kill whoever was stupid enough to trespass in this house when I got upstairs it was a teenage girl." Rebekah interrupts " If you called us here to tell us that Caroline finally accepted her feelings for you and is dating you I'm going to plunge a dagger in to your chest." "You know it wouldn't kill me." " But it would hurt." Klaus sighs " No Caroline still is insisting she has no feelings for me." Caroline is on the couch across from Rebekah " You guys still know I'm in the room right." Xxx While the future them is in the library Hope had found one of Klaus' sketchbooks and was looking through it it was filled with sketches of her mom. After ten sketchbooks later she finally finds a blank one. She rips two pages out and hands one to her dad who was sitting with her mom. " Here I saw you look bored while we waited for your siblings to arrive." Hope sits next to her dad and looks over at her uncle Kol. " What's wrong uncle Kol?" " I'm stuck in this room and I want to kill Jeremy and Elena." Caroline looks up at him she was watching Klaus draw. " You still want them dead. Kol it's been five hundred years." " I always want them dead. Are you telling me you don't want Elena dead after what she did." " Of course I want her dead and Bonnie after what they did its unforgivable. ------------------------------------------------------------------- 10, I will always love you Klaus and Caroline have had so many lives and in every life they find each other. We have had so many lifetimes together and in every lifetime we find each other. Her life continues as my life is frozen in time. I find her and spend every life with her. But I am different than her and can not bring myself to make her as I am. She is so pure and full of light and I am full of darkness and murder. This last life of hers I can not find her. Klaus has spent 17 years searching for Caroline. And Caroline has been reborn again her first words in this life was Klaus. Every night she has dreams of their past life. When she gets into a car accident and is in the hospital dying. Klaus had compelled vampires all over the world to look for her they told him she was in the hospital. Klaus rushes to her side " Klaus I knew you would find me." "Of course I will always find you my love." "I'm dying again we never had a life together this time. Make me like you. That way I never die and we can be together forever." Klaus brings her hand up to his mouth and kisses the back of her hand " I can't. I don't want you to have this life. Feeding on the innocent, killing, your meant for so much. Plus I can not kill you." ------------------------------------------------------------------- 16, Klaroline in Nola chapter 11 klaus and Caroline throw a party to find who out where everyone in the cities loyalties lie and Katherine wants the travelers dead. Katherine leans her head out of the shower while Elijah is brushing his teeth. " I want to kill the travelers they keep sending me visions and they want to kill Nadia." Elijah wipes his mouth dry and turns to her " Katerina the travelers will not lay a finger on Nadia but we can't just kill them all witches need to be handled delicately." " I now understand why Klaus has daggered you over the centuries. I used to think Klaus daggered you because it was another sort of revenge on me with you daggered we couldn't be together but now I realize he daggered you because your too stuffy. The travelers want to drain my blood and want my daughter dead plus have resurrected my judgmental father and clueless one night stand I want them dead." "I am not stuffy I'm logical but fine I will go along with what ever plan you have if you want to ambush the travelers and kill them I will help you if you want to have a meeting with your father I will back you up." Katherine looks down at the floor she hates feeling weak but with her father and Marin being back plus the visions the travelers keep sending her. Katherine's whole life she has looked out for herself but now she wants to protect her daughter. " What if I can't save her and the visions come true or they take her from me again." Elijah lifts her head up with a finger and wipes a tear off her wet face. " Nadia is a Petrova and just like her mother. Strong and doesn't let anything stand in her way of getting what she wants." ------------------------------------------------------------------- 18, one more night Caroline gets one more night with her mom. "Higher this isn't a school gym this an anniversary party. Don't just drape it across the banister, your stringing the lights all wrong." Klaus comes up behind Caroline and kisses her neck." How is the anniversary party planning going?" " Not well your minions are completely useless and don't know how to hang banners or anything." Klaus puts his chin on Caroline's shoulder " I have a surprise for you meet me in the ball room at 11:55 tonight." Caroline turns around to face him with confused look " What kind of surprise? Your not going to have Kol jump out of a cake again are you it was funny when he did it for Elijah's birthday and when he did for Davina's birthday it was repetitive but if he jumps out of a cake tonight after dealing with these incompetent minions all day I might snap his neck." Klaus laughs and smiles down at her " Without telling you your surprise I can tell you that there will not be any cake or even Kol tonight in the ball room."

[itzryyo]

More

          I am currently on a bus heading into the city for a field trip and am trying to maintain my sanity while also attempting to distract myself from the fact that I didn’t go to the bathroom before we left and traffic is real.        

          Someone asked me the other day, “So, like, what is your obsession with Drake all about?” My first reaction was to answer their question with a question and ask “uhh…why aren’t you obsessed with Drake?” To be fair, they were justified in asking me because I have a propensity to be incredibly all-or-nothing when it comes to my affinity for certain things (i.e., Chick-Fil-A, the Mets, Titanic & The Dark Knight to name a few.) I’m not really sure where it comes from, MOM, but it’s been that way my whole life. While I don’t have a vast array of interests, the things I am interested in, I commit to whole-heartedly. However, when it comes to music, we are talking about an entirely different entity.

          While TV shows, films and books can influence, art can inspire, and sports can invigorate, I contend that nothing touches the soul the way music does. When I’m in a good mood, Bruno Mars or Justin Timberlake will enjoy that mood with me. If I’m feeling melancholy, it’s much easier to have Boyz II Men or Dru Hill help me out than it is to plop down on the couch, put on “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind,” and commit to watching the whole thing. You know exactly what I’m talking about. You know what it was like when you heard “Burn” by Usher for the first time and he, word for word, expressed exactly how you felt about your current, 3-week-old high school relationship. Yes, we all wanted to be Spider-Man the first time we saw it in theaters, but do you still feel that way if, for some God-forsaken reason, TBS is airing it on a random day off? Probably not. But what about if “Bye-Bye-Bye” comes on the radio randomly while you're driving in the car? I guarantee you are gracefully moving your right arm from right to left while opening and closing your hand just like Justin, J.C. and the rest of the boys did. Whether your music is on shuffle and that ONE song comes on or you have listened to “Someone Like You” for the 32nd time in a row, music infiltrates the soul and is an uncanny medication for the heart. 

           Okay, but there's a lot of really good music, Ry, why the fix on this particular artist? I'm glad you just asked [in my imagination.] The power of music lies in one's ability to relate to it. I'm honest enough to admit that I have a tendency to think my opinions are unerring. I'll quickly discredit an artist or band because I personally don't like it, but to completely discredit another's experience or admiration because of my subjectivity is irresponsible and ignorant. I will never understand an artist like Future. I was disappointed when Drake did an entire album with him. But I've talked with people who have explained that (when they can understand what he's saying) they really relate to his songs. More power to 'em. A lot of people don't like Drake. I've heard (and argued) many people who dislike him for a myriad of reasons ranging from being "soft" to "not struggling enough" to "sounding the same on every song.” I can't make anyone like the guy and that's not why I'm even writing this in the first place. Remember: Traffic. Middle-schoolers. Full bladder. Voila.

          Reverting back to a previous point, music invades and harps on human emotion. I grew up with a variety of musical tastes because I was raised by an all-white family while almost all my friends were minorities. My uncle introduced me to Pearl Jam, Nirvana, The Doors and The Beatles. My mom played “American Pie”, Goo-Goo Dolls, Alanis Morisette, Sheryl Crow and Matchbox 20 on our road trips to Ohio in the summer (she also can rap “Public Service Announcement” and “Rapper’s Delight” word for word.) My dad blasted The Fugees, Jagged Edge, Ginuwine and Joe, while my friends and teammates got me well-acquainted with Jay, Mobb Deep, Dipset and DMX. This plethora of music has made me appreciative of all musical genres. Thanks to Apple Music and Spotify, all these artists are accessible with the touch of a button.

          If I had to choose, R&B and Hip-Hop would be my first two choices on what to listen to for the rest of my life. D-Block on my way to basketball practice and Brian McKnight while I fell asleep. “Fortunate” by Maxwell when I had a crush and “What They Want” by DMX and Sisqo when they rejected me. This was the routine growing up.

          I was sitting in my bedroom as a 9th grader the first time I heard “Cry For You” by Jodeci. If I put it on right now, I would feel the exact same way that I did the first time I heard it. So when Drake made a song referencing one of the greatest R&B groups of all-time, let alone one of my favorite songs, the connection grew stronger.

          Finding an artist who tapped into both genres with equal prowess was a dream come true for me. Add to that dual threat an artist who is biracial, grew up a single child in a single-parent household, raised by a white mother, and now you’re starting to reflect my actual upbringing. The funny thing about growing up biracial is that there never really seems to be a middle ground. Within the black community, I never felt “black” enough, as though it was my own doing that I was raised by a white mother; as if somehow it was my responsibility to earn my blackness more than those darker than I was, and until that validation was given, I couldn’t fit in. Flipping to the other side, when your entire family is white and your tan doesn’t go away in the winter, you stick out. I couldn’t style my hair like my uncle Jim’s. My little cousins never got asked if they were adopted. I was an anomaly for actually knowing the words to “Iris” by Goo-Goo Dolls. Considering all that, when Drake says “I used to get teased for being black and now I’m here and I’m not black enough, ‘cause I’m not acting tough or making stories up ‘bout where I’m actually from,” it hits home and it hits home hard.

          I didn’t grow up with any male presence consistently in my life. I taught myself how to shave. My mother taught me how to play sports. Nobody taught me how to fight, or “be a man.” I learned the definition of strength by seeing the women in my life bounce back from heartbreak and hardships. I also learned how to be really in touch with my emotions. I am a feeler. I feel every emotion in every crevice of my heart. So when this same biracial artist, who was raised by a single, white mother, explodes onto the hip-hop scene but is making emotional music, I cannot help but look up to him. When every attack and knock against this same biracial artist is that he’s too “soft” and is “too emotional,” my confusion swells. “What do you mean ‘too emotional’?!” Ironically enough, the very same people who bludgeon Drake’s music due to its overt honesty and raw emotion are probably the ones who can relate to it more than anyone else.

          Yes, the trap music is entertaining, but I can guarantee you that most of the men slandering Aubrey’s name have made more drunk calls to their ex (thanks Marvin’s Room) in a few months than they’ve ever pushed drugs, been gang affiliated or actually held a gun. Does this mean that those artists that promote that at the forefront of their records don’t reach people? Absolutely not. Kendrick Lamar, Jay-Z, Big Pun and others grew up around gangs, drugs and violence and speaks on things I have never seen or experienced in such a way, but there are plenty of people who have, which is the beauty of this whole music thing.

          Back to Aubrey. In a world immersed in the superficial, is not authenticity a breath of fresh air? Hasn’t the complaint in the hip-hop community always been a lack of credibility from certain rappers and artists? So now, we have someone who owns their identity, not trying to be something that he isn’t, and he’s not welcome here. So when Drake (referencing his friendship with Lil’ Wayne) says, “Weezy been on the edge, you n*****s just need to chill, if anything happen to papi, might pop a n***** for real,” people balk at the claim. Why? Because he makes R&B music and that is apparently synonymous with weakness. I don’t like guns and I am not a promoter of violence, but I’m a believer in defending the people closest to you. This is also a reflection of the frailty of masculinity in the 21st century, but I can’t let my ADD take me there.

          “But Ry, he isn’t real hip-hop. He talks white!” What do you think my friends used to say to me all the time growing up? The. Same. Damn. Thing. So yes, I appreciate Drake “talking white” in interviews because that’s the voice he was born with. I can’t help the way my voice sounds and it’s ridiculous to think I’d have to change it to meet a social standard. In a culture that watches, critiques and pounces on every single thing people do, Drake has never once strayed away from embracing all of the cultures he was introduced to growing up. He didn’t make apologies for making songs like “Doing It Wrong” and putting them on the same album where he put “Lord Knows.”Also, “Shut It Down” and “Uptown” are distinguishable, but not mutually exclusive. They both came from the same artist and they both hit when you put them on.

          I spent an inordinate amount of time growing up trying to establish which race I wanted to affiliate myself with full time. This artist and this music shattered that notion. From breakups to ball games, homages to family and anthems for friends, there is no area of life where there isn’t a soundtrack to go with it. That is a very comforting feeling for someone who struggled with having to choose between which culture to embrace. The dichotomy of having to choose one or the other was onerous but having someone burst into the industry that showed me, through their music, that it’s okay to fully embrace both was liberating. Is every song a hit? Um, actually…okay, maybe not every song. Was Views a great album? Eh, not my favorite. But that’s the beauty of music. You get to go on that journey with an artist and watch them grow and explore and hopefully, their last album doesn’t sound anything like the first, because that’s what growth is (Hi, Kanye fans).

          It doesn’t really matter what he puts out these days because as a fan, I’m always expecting the best and as a person, I’ll always be grateful for the lessons I learned from the music. As a fan, I’ll always want more. More emotion, more vulnerability, more bars and More Life.

[neverheardof]

Michael & Babs

General:

Rate the Ship -  Awful | Ew | No pics pls | I’m not comfortable | Alright | I like it! | Got Pics? | Let’s do it! | Why is this not getting more attention?! | The OTP to rule all other OTPs

How long will they last? - Probably forever, unless something happens to one of them.

How quickly did/will they fall in love? - It was a slow burn. Babs was getting over Ted and Michael had to deal with his struggle of his feelings for his dead best friend’s girl.

How was their first kiss? - It was something that was long waited for on both ends. It was slow and passionate and then grew to something deeper.

Wedding:

Who proposed? - Michael

Who is the best man/men? - hlijnlserunoilasnlkjn I dunno. His best friend is dead. We’ll go with Skeets.

Who is the braid’s maid(s)? - All the birds of prey, and Michelle.

Who did the most planning? - Babs, Michael doesn’t know how 21st century weddings work.

Who stressed the most? - Michael

How fancy was the ceremony? - Not very. They needed to keep it on the down low for timeline/safety reasons/Back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 | 4 | Normal Church Wedding | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big.

Who was specifically not invited to the wedding? - Michael’s dad.

Sex:

Who is on top? - Usually Michael, but they shake it up from time to time and Michael doesn’t mind.

Who is the one to instigate things? - They both instigate it the same amount.

How healthy is their sex life? - Barely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | Once a couple weeks, nothing overboard | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They are humping each other on the couch right now

How kinky are they? - Straight missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 | Might try some butt stuff and toys | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Don’t go into the sex dungeon without a horse’s head

How long do they normally last? - Michael’s got a pretty good endurance level, so even when they go at it fast he lasts a lot longer than most. 

Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms? - They try, but sometimes Michael gets overeager. 

How rough are they in bed? - Softer than a butterfly on the back of a bunny | 2 | 3 | 4 | The bed’s shaking and squeaking every time | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Their dirty talk is so vulgar it’d make Dwayne Johnson blush. Also, the wall’s so weak it could collapse the next time they do it.

How much cuddling/snuggling do they do? - No touching after sex | 2 | 3 | 4 | A little spooning at night, or on the couch, but not in public | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They snuggle and kiss more often than a teen couple on their fifth date to a pillow factory.

Children:

How many children will they have naturally? - At least one (Rip)

How many children will they adopt? - At least one (Rani) Charlie is adopted before the get together, and Michael forgot that he didn’t officially adopt Rani.

Who gets stuck with the most diapers? - Michael. He raises a fuss about it too.

Who is the stricter parent? - Babs 1000%

Who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school? - Babs, Michael usually encourages it.

Who remembers to pack the lunch(es)? - Babs. Michael has a bad memory, well more like he can’t keep time straight.

Who is the more loved parent? - Michael. He takes them to see DINOSAURS.

Who is more likely to attend the PTA meetings? Babs

Who cried the most at graduation? - Michael

Who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law? - Michael. Mom’s scary when she’s mad.

Cooking:

Who does the most cooking? - Babs. Michael isn’t great at keeping track of things.

Who is the most picky in their food choice? - Michael. Recovering from anorexia does that to you.

Who does the grocery shopping? - Babs, Michael’s not good with time.

How often do they bake desserts? - Michael does it when he’s stressed.

Are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater? - Equal amount.

Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner? - Michael. Because it’s on the wrong day.

Who is more likely to suggest going out? - Michael

Who is more likely to burn the house down accidentally while cooking? - Michael. Time isn’t real, Barbara.

Chores:

Who cleans the room? - Babs

Who is really against chores? - Michael, but he does them.

Who cleans up after the pets? - Sometimes Michael, but mainly Babs because he’s not always there for it.

Who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug? - Michael

Who stresses the most when guests are coming over? - Michael, he doesn’t want them to find out about things.

Who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning? - Michael, and he never shuts up about it.

Misc:

Who takes the longer showers/baths? - Michael

Who takes the dog out for a walk? - Michael. He thinks it’s relaxing.

How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? - Whenever Babs ask about it, but Michael tries to decorate for holidays that he celebrates from the future sometimes.

What are their goals for the relationship? - For Michael to not die doing something stupid.

Who is most likely to sleep till noon? - Michael because time isn’t real.

Who plays the most pranks? - Michael.

[douchebagbrainwaves]

HOW TO INVESTORS

The European approach reflects the old idea that each person has a natural station in life. You're going to have novel consequences. Actually college is where the line ends. Startups condense more easily here. Throw away a perfectly good rotary telephone?1 But they work as if they were consultants building something just for the local market is 300 million people. If there's something you're really interested in, you'll find that delighting customers scales better than you realize. If you make software to teach English to Chinese speakers, however, approach our goal from another direction, by using ourselves as guinea pigs. And yet most VCs are driven by consensus, not just within their firms, but within the VC community. They're like a food that's not merely healthy, but counteracts the unhealthy effects of things you've already eaten.

So why does anyone invest in bonds? Fundamentally that's how the most successful startups we've funded have, and that would probably be a stretch for you, the founders were lucky.2 Hard, but doable. While you're at it, you become interested in anything that could spare you such pain in the future.3 I know Brian Chesky and Joe Gebbia didn't feel like they were en route to the sea.4 It's too early to say yet whether Y Combinator will turn out like Viaweb, but judging from the number of startups founded by people with established credentials after months of serious, businesslike meetings, on terms described in a document a foot thick. Most adults looking at art worry that if they don't want them.

If widely used, auto-retrieving filters. Our angels asked for one, and you're generally surprised how fast you can solve it manually, go ahead and do that for as long as you have some plan for selling that valuable thing you got so cheaply, what difference does it make what it's worth? Hardware startups face an obstacle that software startups don't. Most just want to buy from a supplier they control while making it look like the company is just a bet.5 For example, a city could select good startups. But the startup world that has changed, not them. We can't afford to have any illusions about the predictors of success. It was one of the problems with the current email system is that it's too passive.6 That would be a lost cause trying to create a startup hub by planting a great university in a nice place, it would create a self-sustaining chain reaction like the one that succeeds will pay the founders more than 10 times what they would have if the founders did the right things?

In the US it's ok to make career decisions on the fly. Startups need to be done, or even if you don't want to be running into trouble, and there are companies that will give $20k to a startup that was neither driven by technological change, nor whose product consisted of technology except in the broader sense.7 US, but startup funding doesn't only come from VC firms. Another reason founders don't focus enough on individual customers is that they worry it won't scale. Professional athletes know they'll be pulled if they play badly for just a couple founders with laptops.8 When the disaster strikes, just say to yourself, ok, this was what Paul was talking about how investors are reluctant to put money into startups in bad markets, even though the advertisers are paying and users aren't. Do you have good weather? Should the city take stock in the startups is that they can see different problems.9 If it strikes you as odd that people still order electronic parts out of thick paper catalogs in 2007, there's a period of rapid growth. But there might be other things they shared in common with us.

A few weeks ago I had a design philosophy. When most people hear the word startup, they think. I realized, is how does the comber-over not see how odd he looks? More dangerous is the attitude they reflect: that an employee is a kind of servant, whom the employer has a duty to protect. So Dad, there's this company called Apple. Maybe if you can trade stock for something that improves your odds, it's probably the most efficient way to reach VCs, especially if you only want them to know about this choice. Most people who buy SUVs do it to seem manly, not to maximize the amount of stock they have, the stock is optimally apportioned. Not always, but usually it takes some amount of external funding, and investors tend to be less willing to invest in photo-sharing apps, rather than recruiting them one at a time, and growth has to slow down eventually. Some works of art are meant to shock, and others, like Detroit, where it would really be an uphill battle.

In particular, you don't need either of those. I think now it was the salt.10 Most imaginative people seem to think we're on to something. So we're in much the same position as a graduate program. Even people who hate you for it believe it. When friends came back from faraway places, it wasn't just out of politeness that I asked what they saw. Bob's going to grad school. I'd spend a couple weeks just watching what they do with computers.11 In nearly every failed startup, the whole concept of the modern university was imported from Germany in the late nineteenth century, the 'riting component of the 3 Rs then morphed into English, with the bizarre consequence that high school students now had to write PhD disserations about Dickens don't. As well as having precisely measurable results, we have to go pretty far down the US News list. As long as you have a fairly tolerant advisor, you can see where the conclusion comes from. You're all smart and working on promising ideas.

Every VC in the world.12 Even people who hate you for it believe it. I was in school.13 You have to make a port run efficiently, it can't coax startups into existence. Here it is: I like to find a place where there are a lot of people with technical backgrounds.14 His mom probably has it on the cheap and pick only 10 for the initial experiment.15 Actors and directors are fired at the end of the year I couldn't even remember what else I had stored in that attic.

Notes

It was common in the original text would in 1950 something one could argue that the web. Like the Aeneid, Paradise Lost is a significant number.

The first version would offend. By heavy-duty security I mean no more willing to provide when it's their own itinerary through no-land, while we were working on some project of your own time in your plans, you can't even trust the design world's internal standards. Add water as specified on rice cooker and forget about it wrong. One YC founder who used to do this would work so hard to think of a place where few succeed is hardly free.

Well, of course reflects a willful misunderstanding of what you build for them.

The University of Vermont, 1991. Technology has always been accelerating.

Jones, A.

Software companies can hire unskilled people to claim retroactively I said that a person's work is not just the most surprising things I've learned about VC while working on what you launch with, you create wealth with no environmental cost. Which in turn means the right thing to be so obsessed with being published. Free money to start startups, has one booked for them. Internally most companies are run like Communist states.

One valuable thing about our software, we love big juicy lumbar disc herniations, but conversations with potential acquirers. When I use.

For example, because the rich. As one very successful YC founder told me about a form that asks for your work. Nat.

Now the misunderstood artist is a shock at first had two parts: the resources they expend on the economics of ancient slavery see: For most of the word wisdom in so many still make you expend as much time. Within an hour most people emerge from the initial capital requirement for German companies is 47. The shares set aside a chunk of time on a map. It's not simply a function of two founders and one of them.

It's when they're on boards of directors they're probably a real partner. Starting a company if the VC. Everyone's taught about it. What I'm claiming with the fact that the graph of jobs is not Apple's products but their policies.

Steep usage growth will also interest investors.

But those are guaranteed in the Valley has over New York, and domino effects among investors.

But that's not as completely worthless as a note to self.

In fact most of the founders lots of options, of S P 500 CEOs in the mid 20th century Cambridge seem to like uncapped notes. Which means the startup after you buy it despite having no evidence it's for sale unless the person. Currently, when Subject foo not to foo but to fail to mention a few VC firms expect to do certain kinds of startups that has a similar effect, at least one beneficial feature: it favors small companies.

Some genuinely aren't. This technique wouldn't work if the current options suck enough. It would be possible to bring to the traditional peasant's diet: they had in high school, the angel is being put through an internal process at work.

[giveuselife-blog]

Should Your Child Watch TV News? Surprising Opinions of Top Anchors

New Post has been published on https://giveuselife.org/should-your-child-watch-tv-news-surprising-opinions-of-top-anchors/

Should Your Child Watch TV News? Surprising Opinions of Top Anchors

KIDS AND THE NEWS

More than ever, children witness innumerable, sometimes traumatizing, news events on TV. It seems that violent crime and bad news is unabating. Foreign wars, natural disasters, terrorism, murders, incidents of child abuse, and medical epidemics flood our newscasts daily. Not to mention the grim wave of recent school shootings.

All of this intrudes on the innocent world of children. If, as psychologists say, kids are like sponges and absorb everything that goes on around them, how profoundly does watching TV news actually affect them? How careful do parents need to be in monitoring the flow of news into the home, and how can they find an approach that works?

To answer these questions, we turned to a panel of seasoned anchors, Peter Jennings, Maria Shriver, Linda Ellerbee, and Jane Pauley–each having faced the complexities of raising their own vulnerable children in a news-saturated world.

Picture this: 6:30 p.m. After an exhausting day at the office, Mom is busy making front of dinner. She parks her 9-year-old daughter and 5-year-oldfront of the TV.”Play Nintendo until dinner’s ready,” she instructs the little ones, who, instead, start flipping channels.

Tom Brokaw on “NBC News Tonight,” announces that an Atlanta gunman has killed his wife, daughter, nd son, all three with a hammer, before going on a shooting rampage that leaves nine dead.

On “World News Tonight,” Peter Jennings reports that a jumbo jetliner with more than 300 passengers crashed in a spinning metal fireball at a Hong Kong airport.

On CNN, there’s a report about the earthquake in Turkey, with 2,000 people killed.

On the Discovery channel, there’s a timely special on hurricanes and the terror they create in children. Hurricane Dennis has already struck, Floyd is coming.

Finally, they see a local news report about a roller coaster accident at a New Jersey amusement park that kills a mother and her eight-year-old daughter.

Nintendo was never this riveting.

“Dinner’s ready!” shouts Mom, unaware that her children may be terrified by this menacing potpourri of TV news.

What’s wrong with this picture?

“There’s a LOT wrong with it, but it’s not that easily fixable,” notes Linda Ellerbee, the creator, and host of “Nick News,” the award-winning news program geared for kids ages 8-13, airing on Nickelodeon.

“Watching blood and gore on TV is NOT good for kids and it doesn’t do much to enhance the lives of adults either,” says the anchor, who strives to inform children about world events without terrorizing them. “We’re into stretching kids’ brains and there’s nothing we wouldn’t cover,” including recent programs on euthanasia, the Kosovo crisis, prayer in schools, book- banning, the death penalty, and Sudan slaves.

But Ellerbee emphasizes the necessity of parental supervision, shielding children from unfounded fears. “During the Oklahoma City bombing, there were terrible images of children being hurt and killed,” Ellerbee recalls. “Kids wanted to know if they were safe in their beds. In studies conducted by Nickelodeon, we found out that kids find the news the most frightening thing on TV.

“Whether it’s the Gulf War, the Clinton scandal, a downed jetliner, or what happened in Littleton, you have to reassure your children, over and over again, that they’re going to be OK–that the reason this story is news is that IT ALMOST NEVER HAPPENS. News is the exception…nobody goes on the air happily and reports how many planes landed safely!

“My job is to put the information into an age-appropriate context and lower anxieties. Then it’s really up to the parents to monitor what their kids watch and discuss it with them”

Yet a new study of the role of media in the lives of children conducted by the Henry J. Kaiser Family Foundation reveals that 95% of the nation’s children ages 8-18 are watching TV without their parents present.

How does Ellerbee view the typical scenario of the harried mother above?

“Mom’s taking a beating here. Where’s Dad?” Ellerbee asks.Perhaps at work, or living separately from Mom, or absent altogether.

“Right. Most Moms and Dads are working as hard as they can because we live in a society where one income just doesn’t cut it anymore,”

NBC News correspondent Maria Shriver, the mother of four–Katherine, 13, Christina, 12, Patrick, 10, and Christopher, 6–agrees with Ellerbee: “But Moms aren’t using the TV as a babysitter because they’re out getting manicures!” says the 48-year-old anchor.

“Those mothers are struggling to make ends meet and they do it because they need help. I don’t think kids would be watching [as much TV] if their parents were home organizing a touch football game.

“When I need the TV as a babysitter,” says Shriver, who leaves detailed TV- viewing instructions behind when traveling, “I put on a safe video. I don’t mind that my kids have watched “Pretty Woman” or “My Best Friend’s Wedding” 3,000 times. I’d be more fearful if they watched an hour of local news.That would scare them. They might feel: ‘Oh, my God, is somebody going to come in and shoot me in my bedroom?'”

In a move to supervise her own children more closely since her husband, Arnold Schwarzenegger became Governor, Shriver scaled back her workload as Contributing Anchor to Dateline NBC and set up her office at home: “You can never be vigilant enough with your kids,” she says, “because watching violence on TV clearly has a huge impact on children–whether it’s TV news, movies, or cartoons.”

This view is shared by the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, which states: “TV is a powerful influence in developing value systems and shaping behavior…studies find that children may become immune to the horror of violence; gradually accept violence as a way to solve problems; and resort to anti-social and aggressive behavior, imitating the violence they observe.”

Although there are no rules about watching TV in 49% of the nation’s households, TV-watching at the Schwarzenegger home is almost totally verboten:

“We have a blanket rule that my kids do not watch any TV at all during the week,” she notes, “and having a TV in their bedrooms has never been an option. I have enough trouble getting them to do their homework!” she states with a laugh. “Plus the half hour of reading they have to do every night.

According to the Kaiser survey, Shriver’s household is a glaring exception to the rule. “Many kids have their own TV’s, VCR’s and video games in their bedroom,” the study notes. Moreover, children ages 8-18 actually spend an average of three hours and 16 minutes watching TV daily; only 44 minutes reading; 31 minutes using the computer; 27 minutes playing video games; and a mere 13 minutes using the Internet.

“My kids,” Shriver explains, “get home at 4 p.m., have a 20-minute break, then go right into homework or after-school sports. Then, I’m a big believer in having family dinner time. Some of my fondest memories are of sitting at the dinner table and listening to my parents, four brothers, and my grandmother, Rose. We didn’t watch the news.

“After dinner nowadays, we play a game, then my kids are in bed, reading their books. There’s no time in that day for any TV, except on weekends, when they’re allowed to watch a Disney video, Sesame Street, Barney, The Brady Bunch, or Pokemon.”

Beyond safe entertainment, Shriver has eliminated entirely the option of her children watching news events unfolding live on TV: “My kids,” she notes, “do not watch any TV news, other than Nick News,” instead providing her children with Time for Kids, [Teen Newsweek is also available], Highlights, and newspaper clippings discussed over dinner.

“No subject should be off-limits,” Shriver concludes, “but you must filter the news to your kids.”

ABC’s Peter Jennings, who reigns over “World News Tonight,” the nation’s most-watched evening newscast emphatically disagrees with a censored approach to news-watching: “I have two kids–Elizabeth is now 24 and Christopher is 21– and they were allowed to watch as much TV news and information anytime they wanted,” says the anchor. A firm believer in kids understanding the world around them, he adapted his bestselling book, The Century, for children ages 10 and older in The Century for Young People.

No downside to kids watching the news? “I don’t know of any downside and I’ve thought about it many times. I used to worry about my kids’ exposure to violence and overt sex in the movies. Like most parents, I found that although they were exposed to violence sooner than I would have liked, I don’t feel they’ve been affected by it. The jury’s still out on the sex.

“I have exposed my kids to the violence of the world–to the bestiality of man–from the very beginning, at age 6 or 7. I didn’t try to hide it. I never worried about putting a curtain between them and reality, because I never felt my children would be damaged by being exposed to violence IF they understood the context in which it occurred. I would talk to my kids about the vulnerability of children in wartime–the fact that they are innocent pawns– and about what we could do as a family to make the world a more peaceful place.

Jennings firmly believes that coddling children is a mistake: “I’ve never talked down to my children, or to children period. I always talk UP to them and my newscast is appropriate for children of any age.”

Yet the 65-year-old anchor often gets letters from irate parents: “They’ll say: ‘How dare you to put that on at 6:30 when my children are watching?’ My answer is: ‘Madam, that’s not my problem. That’s YOUR problem. It’s absolutely up to the parent to monitor the flow of news into the home.”

Part of directing this flow is turning it off altogether at meal-time, says Jennings, who believes family dinners are sacrosanct. He is appalled that the TV is turned on during meals in 58% of the nation’s households, this according to the Kaiser study.

“Watching TV during dinner is unforgivable,” he exclaims, explaining that he always insisted that his family wait until he arrived home from anchoring the news. “You’re darn right they waited…even when my kids were tiny, they never ate until 7:30 or 8 pm. Then we would sit with no music, no TV. Why waste such a golden opportunity? Watching TV at mealtime robs the family of the essence of the dinner, which is communion and exchange of ideas. I mean, God, if the dinner table is anything, it’s a place to learn manners and appreciation for two of the greatest things in life–food and drink.”

Jennings is likewise unequivocal in his view of junk TV and believes parking kids at the tube creates dull minds: “I think using TV as a babysitter is a terrible idea because the damn television is very narcotic, drug-like. Mindless TV makes for passive human beings–and it’s a distraction from homework!

“My two children were allowed to watch only a half an hour of entertainment TV per night–and they never had TV’s in their bedrooms.It’s a conscious choice I made as a parent not to tempt them…too seductive…”

Adds Ellerbee: “TV is seductive and is meant to be. The hard, clear fact is that when kids are watching TV, they’re not doing anything else!”

Indeed, according to the National Institute on Out-of-School Time and the Office of Research Education Consumer Guide, TV plays a bigger role in children’s lives now than ever before. Kids watch TV an average of14 to 22 hours per week, which accounts for at least 25 percent of their free time.

“Dateline NBC” Anchor Jane Pauley, intensely private, declined an interview to discuss how she and her husband, cartoonist Garry Trudeau (“Doonesbury”) handle TV-watching with their three teens, two of whom are fraternal twins. But in a written response, she agreed that kids need to be better protected from the onslaught of violence: “I was a visitor at a public elementary school not long ago, and was invited to peek in on a fourth-grade class on ‘current events.’ The assignment had been to watch the news and write about one of the stories. Two kids picked the fatal attack on a child by a pit bull and the other wrote about a child who’d hanged herself with a belt! They’d all watched the worst blood and gore ‘News at 11’ station in town. The teacher gave no hint that she was as appalled as I was. My response was to help the school get subscriptions to “Time for Kids” and “My Weekly Reader.” People need to be better news consumers. And tabloid TV is very unhealthy for kids.”

On this point, Ellerbee readily agrees:”I really do believe the first amendment STOPS at your front door. You are the boss at home and parents have every right to monitor what their kids watch. What’s even better is watching with them and initiating conversations about what they see.If your child is watching something terribly violent, sit down and DEFUSE it. Talking makes the ghosts run…and kids can break through their scared feelings.”

Adds Pauly:

“Kids,” she maintains, “know about bad news–they’re the ones trying to spare us the bad news sometimes. But kids should be able to see that their parents are both human enough to be deeply affected by a tragedy like Columbine, but also sturdy enough to get through it…and on with life. That is the underpinning of their security.”

“I’m no expert on the nation’s children,” adds Jennings, ” but I’d have to say no, it wasn’t traumatic. Troubling, shocking, even devastating to some, confusing to others, but traumatizing in that great sense, no.

“Would I explain to my kids that there are young, upset, angry, depressed kids in the world? Yes. I hear the most horrendous stories about what’s going on in high schools from my kids. And because of the shootings, parents are now on edge–pressuring educators to ‘do something.’ They have to be reminded that the vast majority of all schools in America are overwhelmingly safe,” a fact borne out by The National School Safety Center, which reports that in l998 there were just 25 violent deaths in schools compared to an average of 50 in the early 90’s.

Ellerbee adds that a parent’s ability to listen is more important than lobbying school principals for more metal detectors and armed guards: “If there was ever a case where grown-ups weren’t listening to kids, it was Littleton. First, don’t interrupt your child…let them get the whole thought out. Next, if you sit silently for a couple of seconds after they’re finished, they’ll start talking again, getting to the second level of honesty. Third, try, to be honest with your kid. To very small children, it’s proper to say: ‘This is never going to happen to you…’ But you don’t say that to a 10-year-old.”

Moreover, Ellerbee believes that media literacy begins the day parents stop pretending that if you ignore TV, it will go away. “Let your kid know from the very beginning that he or she is SMARTER than TV: ‘I am in control of this box, it is not in control of me. I will use this box as a useful, powerful TOOL, but will not be used by it.’ Kids know the difference.

“Watching TV,” Ellerbee maintains, “can make kids more civilized. I grew up in the south of Texas in a family of bigoted people. Watching TV made me question my own family’s beliefs in the natural inferiority of people of color. For me, TV was a real window that broadened my world.”

Ironically, for Shriver, watching TV news is incredibly painful when the broadcast is about you. Being a Kennedy, Shriver has lived a lifetime in the glare of rumors and televised speculation about her own family. Presenting the news to her children has therefore included explaining the tragedies and controversies the Kennedys have endured. She was just eight years old when her uncle, President John F. Kennedy, was assassinated: “I grew up in a very big shadow…and I couldn’t avoid it,” she admits. “It wasn’t a choker, but it was a big responsibility that I don’t want my own children to feel.” Yet doesn’t her 15- year marriage to megastar Schwarzenegger add yet another layer of public curiosity close to home? “My kids are not watching Entertainment Tonight–no, no, never! And I don’t bring them to movie openings or Planet Hollywood. I think it’s fine for them to be proud of their father, but not show off about him.”

How does she emotionally handle news when her family’s in it? “That’s a line I’ve been walking since my own childhood, and it’s certainly affected the kind of reporter I’ve become. It’s made me less aggressive. I’m not [in the news business] to glorify myself at someone else’s expense, but rather to report a story without destroying someone in the process. A producer might say: ‘Call this person who’s in a disastrous situation and book them the right way.’ And I’m like: ‘Ahhhh. I can’t even bring myself to do it,’ because I’ve been on the other side and know the family is in such pain.”

A few years ago, of course, the Kennedys experienced profound pain, yet again, when Shriver’s beloved cousin, John F. Kennedy, Jr., was killed in a plane crash, with his wife, Carolyn, and sister-in-law, Lauren Bessette. A blizzard of news coverage ensued, unremitting for weeks. “I didn’t watch any of it…I was busy, ” Shriver says quietly. “And my children didn’t watch any of it either.”

Shriver was, however, somewhat prepared to discuss the tragedy with her children. She is the author of the best-selling “What’s Heaven?” [Golden Books], a book geared for children ages 4-8, which explains death and the loss of a loved one. “My children knew John well because he spent Christmases with us. I explained what happened to John as the news unfolded…walked them through it as best I could. I reminded them that Mommy wrote the book and said: ‘We’re not going to see John anymore. He has gone to God…to heaven…and we have to pray for him and for his sister [Caroline] and her children.”

Like Shriver, Jennings is personally uncomfortable in the role of covering private tragedies in a public forum: “In my shop, I’m regarded as one of those people who drags their feet a lot at the notion of covering those things,” he explains. “During the O.J. Simpson trial, I decided not to go crazy in our coverage–and we took quite a smack and dropped from first to second in the ratings. TV is a business, so when a real corker of a story like Princess Diana’s death comes along, we cover it. I think we’re afraid not to do it. We’re guilty of overkill, and with Diana, we ended up celebrating something that was largely ephemeral, making Diana more than she was. But audiences leap up!

“I was totally opposed to covering John F. Kennedy, Jr.’s funeral because I saw no need to do it. He wasn’t a public figure, though others would say I was wrong. On-air, I said: ‘I don’t think the young Mr. Kennedy would approve of all this excess…’ But we did three hours on the funeral and it turned out to be a wonderfully long history lesson about American politics and the Kennedy dynasty’s place in our national life.

“Sometimes,” Jennings muses, “TV is like a chapel in which we, as a nation, can gather to have a communal experience of loss.We did it with the Challenger, more recently with JFK Jr.’s death and we will do it shortly, I suspect, though I hope not, with Ronald Reagan. It’s not much different than what people did when they went West in covered wagons in the last century. When tragedy struck, they gathered the wagons around, lit the fire, and talked about their losses of the day. And then went on. Television can be very comforting.”

In closing, Ellerbee contends that you can’t blame TV news producers for the human appetite for sensational news coverage that often drags on for days at a time:

“As a reporter,” she muses, “I have never been to a war, traffic accident, or murder site that didn’t draw a crowd. There is a little trash in all of us. But the same people who stop to gawk at a traffic accident may also climb down a well to save a child’s life, or cry at a sunset, or grin and tap their feet when the parade goes by.

“We are NOT just one thing. Kids can understand these grays…just as there’s more than one answer to a question, there is certainly more than one part to you!”

Bestselling author GLENN PASKIN is one of the nation’s leading psychology reporters and celebrity interviewers. His specialty today is interviewing the nation’s top experts in spirituality, motivation, happiness, and self- improvement. A contributing editor at FAMILY CIRCLE, the world’ s largest women’s magazine, he is available for TV, radio, and print interviews.