#(i mean you do have to play it about 17 times to get all the dave and eric content if i remember correctly)
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99 PROBLEMS | MV1
an: this is literally a crack fic, i had the idea when i was listening to 99 problems by jay-z and i was talking to @iamred-iamyellow please enjoy
summary: max never expected to one day have a 17 year old son. he didn't know he was a father. but now he's got to try and figure out how this nerd is his son. and also teach him how to live a little.
wc: 3.3k
Max never thought he’d be a single dad to a teenage boy, but shit happens.
One minute, he was in Monaco celebrating another podium win, champagne-soaked and grinning for the cameras. The next, there was a seventeen-year-old with his eyes and an attitude to match standing on his doorstep with a duffel bag. His name was Noah—“not ‘Dad,’ just Max”—and he wasn’t here to bond. No, Noah was here because apparently the universe thought karma would be funnier this way.
Max was on the balcony of his Monaco apartment replying to a few emails, the city’s lights flickering like a postcard behind him. He could hear Noah inside, rifling through the fridge, muttering complaints about the lack of “real food.”
“Hey, don’t knock the caviar!” Max called over his shoulder. “It’s got protein!”
“Caviar’s not dinner!” Noah fired back, slamming the fridge door.
Max smirked, chuckling a bit. The kid had a point. The life of a Formula One champion didn’t exactly prepare him for raising a teenager. Most days, it was all jet-setting, high-end sponsorships, and a new girl on his arm by sundown. It was messy, but it was his kind of messy. Now? Now, he had to figure out how to squeeze fatherhood in between the chaos.
“You seriously live like this?” Noah asked, stepping onto the balcony, holding up one of Max’s custom helmets. His tone wasn’t admiration—it was judgement.
“Like what?” Max said, not looking up from his phone.
“You know, like...this. Cars, women, parties. I mean, isn’t it exhausting?”
Max chuckled low, pocketing his phone. “Don’t have time to be tired.”
Noah raised an eyebrow. “Right. So, uh...where do I fit in this circus?”
Max turned, his smirk fading just enough to let a flicker of honesty show. “Haven’t figured that out yet. But we’ll make it work.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.” Max glanced back at the city below. “Now, go grab a drink or something. Just...not the champagne.”
And that’s how it started: the driver, his kid, and a life moving faster than either of them could control.
Max hadn’t had a conventional childhood and he could tell this kid did, well as conventional as it was to be dropped off at your dad who you’ve never met’s house a few weeks before your 18th birthday.
He thought that maybe while he was here he could teach him a few things, take him to a few races or something.
Max didn’t really know what to do.
The private gym was tucked into the corner of Max’s penthouse, all sleek machines and floor-to-ceiling mirrors. It was rarely used. Most of Max’s training happened at the Headquarters. or with his team, but Noah had been dragging his feet around the apartment all week, so Max figured a little sweat might do them both some good.
“Alright, kid,” Max said, tossing a pair of dumbbells onto the mat. “Let’s see if you’ve got anything in the tank. Ever lifted before?”
“Sure,” Noah replied, unimpressed. He sat down on the bench press, giving the machine a once-over like he was deciding whether or not to trust it.
Max crossed his arms, watching as Noah pushed through a few hesitant reps. “Not bad. But if that’s your warm-up, we’re in trouble.”
Noah glared, setting the weights down with a clink. “Not all of us need muscles for a living.”
Max laughed. “Touché. So, what do you do for fun then?”
“Fun?”
“Yeah, fun. You know, like hobbies, friends, maybe a girlfriend?”
Noah shrugged, grabbing a water bottle. “Not much. I play some video games, read, I guess. Nothing crazy.”
“Read?” Max frowned. “What, no parties? No sneaking out? You don’t go out?”
“Go out where?” Noah’s voice had that dry teenage edge to it. “I’m seventeen. I lived in America my whole life. You can’t even get into a bar without a fake ID there.”
Max froze mid-stretch, eyebrows shooting up. “Wait, wait, wait. You’re telling me you’ve never had a drink?”
Noah gave him a look like he’d just asked if the sky was blue. “No?”
Max stared at him, dumbfounded. “God. If only you knew what I was doing at your age when my dad had his back turned.”
Noah rolled his eyes. “Oh, let me guess. Clubbing in Paris. Drinking champagne with supermodels. Living the dream?”
“Belgium, but close,” Max said, leaning against the bench press. “Keg parties in the back of some guy’s trailer in Hasselt. Terrible beer, worse decisions, and my trainer yelling at me the next morning. Still, though. I can’t believe you’re seventeen and haven’t even had a sip.”
“I mean, it’s not a big deal,” Noah muttered.
“Not a big deal?” Max barked out a laugh. “Mate, by seventeen, I’d already figured out my go-to drink order. Vodka tonic. Not classy, but it got the job done.” He leaned in, his grin borderline mischievous. “We’ve got some work to do.”
Noah held up his hands, shaking his head. “Oh no. You’re not turning this into some wild ‘how to live’ project.”
Max raised his eyebrows, mock-innocent. “Hey, I’m just saying. Gotta live a little.”
“Maybe I don’t want to end up like you,” Noah shot back.
Max laughed again, but this time it came quieter, almost thoughtful. “Trust me, buddy. Nobody ends up like me. Now, come on. Two more sets, and then I’ll show you how to make a proper protein shake. Don’t worry—I won’t spike it.”
Noah snorted, shaking his head as he got back to work. It was just another morning, another disagreement, but Max couldn’t help feeling like they were inching closer to something real. Something like family.
By the end of the week, Noah was starting to think his dad was running some kind of unofficial competition.
On Monday, it was Marie. She was Monegasque, blonde, and talked like she was auditioning for a perfume ad. “Bonjour, mon cher,” she’d purred at Noah, ruffling his hair like he was ten. Max had barely noticed her leave, too busy scrolling his phone for his next big sponsorship deal.
Tuesday brought Yasmin, a Brazilian model who walked around the apartment in Max’s oversized shirt, pretending not to notice Noah glaring at her from the couch. She’d tried to make conversation, something about school and books, but Noah had just shrugged until she gave up.
By Wednesday, it was Clara, who had an annoying laugh and kept calling Max “babe” like they’d been married for years.
Thursday was a whirlwind—two girls, both of whom Max forgot to introduce. One of them waved awkwardly at Noah as they left, heels clicking on the tile floor.
By Friday, Noah wasn’t even fazed. He sat at the kitchen counter, eating cereal while Max brewed coffee, shirtless and looking entirely too smug for a guy running on five hours of sleep.
“How?” Noah finally said, his spoon clinking against the bowl.
Max glanced over his shoulder, eyebrows raised. “How what?”
“You know.” Noah waved vaguely toward the hallway where yet another pair of heels had disappeared moments ago. “Them. How do you...?”
Max chuckled, shaking his head as he poured his coffee. “Not that complicated.” He took a sip, leaning against the counter like he was about to deliver some ancient wisdom. “They like fast cars and big dreams. I’ve got both.”
Noah squinted at him. “Yeah, but don’t they know what they’re getting into? Like...you’re not exactly giving ‘dad of the year’ vibes.”
Max laughed, the sound echoing through the kitchen. “Oh, they know. Trust me, they all think they’re the one who’s gonna ‘change me.’” He set his mug down, smirking. “Spoiler alert: they’re not.”
Noah frowned, stirring his cereal. “Doesn’t it get old?”
“What?”
“The whole thing. Girls coming and going. Don’t you ever want...I don’t know, something normal?”
Max tilted his head, studying him for a second. “Normal’s overrated. Besides, why are you so interested? You got someone back in the States?”
Noah snorted. “No. Not unless you count my English teacher who used to give me extra credit just to stop talking in class.”
Max grinned, pushing off the counter. “Smart kid. Learn from me, though—don’t waste your charm on teachers. Save it for someone who can actually keep up.”
Noah rolled his eyes, standing up to put his bowl in the sink. “You’re insane.”
“And yet,” Max said, raising his coffee in a mock toast, “I’m still your dad. Crazy how that works.”
Noah shook his head, walking out of the kitchen. But as he headed toward his room, he caught himself smirking. Max was a mess—there was no denying that. But, annoyingly, there was something kind of fascinating about watching him pull it off.
He had to give him some respect. Three time world champion but he lived his life like an unbothered bachelor that didn’t have a multi-million contract under his belt.
Two days later, Max was standing in front of his wardrobe, trying to decide between a black shirt and a white graphic tee. He ended up tossing the black top onto the bed, shrugging into the white tee. His phone buzzed on the nightstand—a message from the group chat reminding him that their table was already reserved at Jimmy’s.
Max grabbed his watch and headed toward the living room, adjusting it as he walked. Noah was sprawled on the couch, scrolling his phone with the kind of disinterested focus only teenagers could pull off.
“You wanna come?” Max asked casually, pulling his car keys from the counter.
Noah didn’t even look up. “I’m seventeen.”
Max leaned against the doorway, a smirk tugging at his lips. “And I’m Max Verstappen.”
Noah gave him a deadpan look. “Yeah, that’s not how laws work.”
Max stepped into the room, tossing his keys in the air and catching them with one hand. “Relax, kid. You’re with me. No one’s checking your ID.” He raised an eyebrow, adding, “Unless you want to stay here and eat more cereal while I’m out having the time of my life.”
Noah hesitated, sitting up slightly. “What, and hang out with you and your harem of club girls? Hard pass.”
Max grinned, crossing his arms. “It’s not just girls. My friends will be there. Good music, good drinks, a little chaos. You could use some chaos.”
Noah snorted. “I don’t think I fit your ‘chaos�� aesthetic.”
Max walked over and clapped a hand on his shoulder. “That’s the beauty of it. You don’t have to fit. You just show up, keep your head up, and let the good times come to you. Trust me, kid—it’s not rocket science.”
Noah looked at him, torn between scepticism and curiosity. “And if I hate it?”
“Then you call it a night, and we’ll come back. No harm, no foul.” Max shrugged. “But at least you’ll know what you’re missing.”
Noah sighed, running a hand through his hair. “Fine. But if anyone tries to buy me a drink, I’m out.”
“Deal.” Max grinned, slapping him on the back. “Now, go change. You’re not wearing that.” He gestured vaguely at Noah’s hoodie and sweatpants.
“What’s wrong with this?”
“It’s not wrong; it’s tragic. Go put on something that says, ‘I’m seventeen, but I could still be cooler than you.’”
Noah rolled his eyes but got up and headed toward his room. Max leaned back against the couch, chuckling to himself. This was either going to be a disaster or the most fun he’d had in weeks.
Fifteen minutes later, Noah emerged in dark jeans and a plain black t-shirt. It wasn’t flashy, but it worked.
Max whistled. “There you go. Almost looks like you know what you’re doing.”
“Don’t push it,” Noah muttered, grabbing his jacket.
“Alright, kid,” Max said, swinging an arm around his shoulders as they headed for the elevator. “Welcome to the good life. Try to keep up.”
Jimmy’z was everything Noah expected and nothing he was prepared for. The place was loud, packed, and drenched in neon lights that pulsed to the bass of some remix he didn’t recognise. Max walked in like he owned it, breezing past the bouncers and slapping hands with a few familiar faces on his way to their table.
The VIP section was cordoned off with velvet ropes and framed by floor-to-ceiling windows that looked out over the city. A couple of Max’s friends were already there, leaning back with drinks in hand, laughing at some story one of them was telling.
Max clapped a hand on Lando's shoulder, said something about ordering another round, and then turned to Noah with a grin. “Alright, kid. First drink’s on me.”
“I thought I wasn’t supposed to drink?” Noah muttered, looking around nervously.
“You’re not supposed to get caught drinking,” Max corrected, flagging down a waitress. “Two rum and cokes. Easy on the rum for him,” he added with a wink.
Noah sat awkwardly, trying to ignore the curious glances from Max’s friends. When the drinks came, Max slid one across the table. “Here. Cheers.”
Noah picked up the glass and took a cautious sip, immediately grimacing. “This tastes like gasoline.”
Max burst out laughing, nearly spilling his own drink. “Yeah, it’s not exactly a milkshake, but you’ll get used to it.”
Noah frowned but kept sipping, each drink slightly less terrible than the last. By the time the glass was empty, he didn’t hate it—but he definitely wasn’t in a hurry for another.
“Alright,” Max said, leaning back and draping an arm over the back of the booth. “Time for your next lesson.”
“Lesson?”
“Yeah.” Max grinned, nodding toward the dance floor where a group of girls was laughing and swaying to the music. “How to get a girl.”
Noah blinked at him. “I’m seventeen.”
“And you’re eighteen in three weeks,” Max shot back, smirking.
Noah raised an eyebrow. “How do you even know that?”
Max sipped his drink, looking almost offended. “I pay attention. I’m not that bad of a father, you know.”
Noah snorted. “Debatable.”
“Hey, come on,” Max said, leaning forward and pointing at him with his glass. “I’ve got three weeks to turn you into someone who doesn’t spend prom night sitting in the corner playing Angry Birds. Let me work my magic.”
“I didn’t go to prom,” Noah mumbled.
“Exactly my point.” Max gestured to the dance floor. “Now, watch and learn.”
Noah shook his head, but he couldn’t help smirking. Watching Max in his element was like watching a lion stalk the savanna. Ridiculous, over-the-top, and somehow annoyingly effective.
Noah leaned back in the plush booth, his gaze flicking nervously between the drink in his hand and the dance floor. “This feels illegal,” he muttered under his breath.
Max, already halfway through his second rum and coke, let out a loud laugh that turned a few heads. “Illegal? We’re in Monaco.” He gestured broadly at the glittering club around them, as if the name alone erased all laws. “The girls here don’t care how old you are, as long as you’re pretty enough.”
Noah raised an eyebrow. “And what if I’m not?”
Max leaned forward, smirking. “You’re my son, so of course you are. Trust me, kid, you’ve got the genes. Now, you just need the confidence to back it up.”
Noah rolled his eyes but couldn’t help the faint flush creeping up his neck. “Yeah, sure. Because confidence is something you can just magically summon.”
“Exactly,” Max said, snapping his fingers like it was that simple. “It’s all in the attitude. Look, you don’t need to be the smartest or the funniest guy in the room. You just need to act like you know something they don’t. Makes them curious. Curiosity’s half the battle.”
Noah stared at him, unimpressed. “That’s the dumbest advice I’ve ever heard.”
Max grinned, sitting back and gesturing to the waitress for another round. “And yet, here I am. Multi-millionaire. World champion. Living proof it works.”
“Yeah, but you’re—” Noah hesitated, then gestured vaguely at Max’s whole presence. “You.”
“Exactly. And you’re half me. Which means you’ve already got a head start.” Max leaned in, lowering his voice like he was letting Noah in on a secret. “Here’s the trick: don’t overthink it. If you go out there looking like you’ve got something to prove, you’ll scare ‘em off. Just...be cool.”
“Cool,” Noah repeated, deadpan. “Got it. Thanks for the groundbreaking advice.”
Max smirked, pushing his chair back and standing up. “Fine. Don’t believe me. But if I come back with two numbers before you even finish that drink, you’re buying me breakfast tomorrow.”
Noah shook his head as Max strolled off toward the dance floor, impossibly confident and infuriatingly charismatic. It was hard not to admire it, even if it made him feel like an awkward kid in comparison.
He stared down at his empty glass, debating whether to order another drink or just leave, when a girl about his age walked past and glanced his way. She gave him a small smile, and Noah froze, his heart racing.
Max’s words echoed in his head. “Just act like you know something they don’t.”
Noah took a deep breath, set his empty glass on the table, and stood up. His palms felt clammy, and every nerve in his body screamed at him to sit back down. But then he caught Max watching from the floor with an infuriating smirk before turning to whichever woman he was talking to this time.
Don’t overthink it, Noah reminded himself. Just be cool.
The girl was standing near the edge of the dance floor with a friend, laughing at something on her phone. She looked up as he approached, her eyes flicking over him in curiosity.
“Hey,” Noah said, trying to sound casual. “You looked like you needed saving from a bad joke.”
She raised an eyebrow, amused. “Oh? And you’re the knight in shining armour?”
“Something like that,” Noah said, stuffing his hands into his pockets to keep from fidgeting. “Or at least I’m not the guy who made you laugh like that.”
Her smile widened, and her friend nudged her playfully before disappearing toward the bar. “Smooth,” she said, tilting her head. “Do you use that line often?”
“First time, actually,” Noah admitted, his lips twitching into a nervous grin.
The honesty seemed to win her over. They started talking—light, easy banter—and before Noah knew it, she was laughing at something he’d said about his dad being a “professional bad influence.”
From the booth, Max had a clear view of the whole thing. He nudged Lando, grinning like a proud idiot. “Lan, look!” He pointed toward the dance floor. “The son of a bitch did it!”
Lando squinted, then let out a low whistle. “Damn. Didn’t think he had it in him.”
Max chuckled, crossing his arms as he leaned back in his seat. “He’s my kid. Of course he’s got it in him.”
Noah returned to the table a while later, looking flushed and slightly dishevelled. His lips were swollen, and there was a faint lipstick smudge on his cheek.
Max raised his glass in a mock toast. “Atta boy!”
Noah slid into the booth, trying to suppress a grin. “Don’t make it a thing.”
“Oh, it’s already a thing,” Max said, slapping him on the back. “You’re officially part of the club now.”
Lando smirked. “Better keep an eye on him, Max. He’s almost got more potential than you.”
“Potential? He’s a damn prodigy,” Max joked, laughing. “First drink, first girl, all in one night. Kid’s got a better batting average than I did at his age.”
Noah rolled his eyes, but he couldn’t help smiling. As much as his dad’s teasing drove him crazy, there was something undeniably cool about seeing Max so proud.
“Alright,” Max said, clapping his hands together. “Now that you’ve got your feet wet, let’s see if you can do it again.”
Noah shook his head, laughing. “Not a chance. One’s enough for tonight.”
“Fair enough,” Max said, leaning back with a satisfied grin. “But just so you know—you’ve officially graduated from boring.”
For once, Noah didn’t argue.
the end.
#f1#f1 imagine#f1 fanfic#formula one x reader#f1 x reader#formula 1#max verstappen angst#max verstappen x you#max verstappen x reader#max verstappen fluff#max verstappen fic#max verstappen imagine#max verstappen fanfic#max verstappen#mv1#mv1 x reader#mv1 fic#mv1 imagine#mv1 x you#mv1 one shot#mv1 x y/n#red bull f1#red bull racing#red bull formula 1#formula one x you#formula one imagine#formula one fanfiction#formula one#f1 one shot#f1 x you
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🌲 !25 Days of Blockmas! 🌲
The holiday spirit is almost upon us! Starting December 1st, please enjoy this little board of activities I’ve cooked up for the MC:SM community. Blockmas features a handful of fun ways to partake in the fandom along with festive drawing prompts scattered in. Please note everything is optional and you do not have to complete every day to partake! Feel free to use the #25 Days of Blockmas tag so I can see your posts! Have fun and happy holidays!
✏️Day 1: Snow Day!
Toss characters into a nice chilly landscape, snowball fight, or the Icy Palace of Despair. Or perhaps just give them a nice cup of cocoa. ^^
Day 2: Scribble challenge!
Pick a character to draw using only one line. Once you lift your pen off the paper, that concludes the one line! (Feel free to color underneath the scribble!)
Day 3: Secret Admirer!
Slip an ask into the inboxes of your favorite creators and tell them how much their work means to you! Remind your beloved artists why they bring you comfort or inspiration, tell the writers how much their stories made you laugh or cry, etc.
✏️Day 4: Winter Clothes!
Wrap a character in a nice, snug sweater, puffy coat, scarf, or other festive apparel!
Day 5: Storytime!
Grab your blanket and start reading a fic you’ve been wanting to try for a while.
Day 6: The Good, ‘Ol Days…
Vibe and watch a playthrough of your favorite episodes of Minecraft: Story Mode. Alternatively, play the game yourself!
✏️Day 7: Ice Scream!
Turn a character into one of those cursed ice cream treats…
Day 8: AU Appreciation!
Send an ask to a creator about an AU they’ve crafted. You never know what may help them develop the story!
Day 9: Why is this here?
Slip some memes into a mutual’s inbox. Or many mutuals’ inboxes… Or a stranger’s inbox!
⭐️Day 10: Free Space!
Day 11: The Pen is Mightier…
Write a festive snippet about the holidays anywhere in the game! (Beacontown, Sky City, The Underneath, etc!)
Day 12: Kind Comments!
Leave appreciation on a few fanfics of your choice! Tell the authors how much they mean to you ^^
✏️Day 13: Cozy…
Time to keep warm during the snowstorm outside. Snuggle up in a blanket, sip some cocoa, or stay close to the fireplace!
Day 14: They would NOT say that—
Have fun with incorrect quotes or draw over images!
Day 15: Repetition!
Repeat any day of your choice or try one from the remaining list!
✏️Day 16: Gift Giving!
Share the holiday spirit with a few fun presents!
Day 17: Time Machine!
Revisit one of your favorite fics to enjoy the tale all over again.
Day 18: Classic Minecraft!
Have fun mining and crafting! Perhaps play with friends—
✏️Day 19: Ugh, Fine. <3
Give one of your least favorite characters appreciation. (It doesn’t have to be a lot. Just a small doodle will suffice.)
Day 20: Well-Deserved Break! Take a rest. The coming days will be rather artsy so get your pencils ready!
✏️Day 21: OC appreciation!
✏️Day 22: AU art!
✏️Day 23: Doodle a scene from a fic you enjoy!
✏️Day 24: Your choice!
^ For the prompts above, you may use OCs/AUs that belong to others!
🌲Day 25: Recap!
Sit back, relax and take a look at all you accomplished! Enjoy your holidays! If you would like, use this day as another optional Free Space!
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I think people too often conflate toxic and abusive relationships.
One of my last exs and I were a bad fit, because of where we were. He was mid trauma of AFAB, and I'd only seen abusive romantic relationships so I put up a lot that I shouldn't. (Every red flag was just a flag to me).
We were desperately clinging to eachother, trying to put up with the hurt to save the other. Because we feel like we were eachothers life jacket.
We were toxic together because our trauma landmines made us hurt eachother without knowing were were doing it.
But we weren't abusive, because that carries intent. We're still extremely close friends, and both of us are still hurt by what we did to eachother because it was fucked.
But abuse is a decision. One that's normally makes the abuser own life easier. Like Stella using Stolas' SA as a funny anecdote, to isolate him from being able to make friends at the party. (Their kid is 17 but Stella still using his dissociation to keep him from a support network 18 years later).
Or her deciding to kill him for he embarrassed her in front of her friends. Because if he's of not use to her, she might as well get some fun from his torture and murder. She can't (won't) give him a divorce, because him getting to walk away and have a good life would be her lossing.
It's not Blitz yelling that he's overwhelmed or not mentioning Striker's first attempt, and it's not Stolas' calling Blitz his "impish little play thing" or kissing BTB.
Because they weren't meaning to hurt eachother with those.
Blitz screaming and kicking in door is very triggering for Stolas. And not telling him someone wants him dead nearly got the job done, but Blitz through Stolas safe because he's immortal.
Stolas' calling Blitz a plaything and other microaggressions make Blitz feels like a fetish and looked down apon.
But Stolas doesn't understand the privilege he has, and is really that thick that he doesn't understand he's being demeaning.
Again still very fucked up things to do, but they didn't sit down and plot 'how can I hurt this person mwahaha'. They genuinely care, and are both trying to cling to the other because their drowning. Drowning people don't try to hurt someone helping them, but you can get pulling under all the same.
Abusers aren't the person who could drag you under by accident, their the fucker that ordered you out of the lifeboat in the first place. And get their fun kicking you back in anytime you start to get a grip on away out of the water.
I've ended up chatting with people about gaslighting Vs real memory issues before. Real memory issues won't all convenient work for their good. And yer gaslighting is done on purpose. It's done to undermine your reality, and shape it to something helpful for the abuser.
You can have all the evidence in the world, that they were being a git; but when you try to point it out it's like trying to make an argument on shifting sand.
And if you do manage to call them on it, don't be surprised that they'll go right back to the version that makes them look best next time it comes up.
This looks like how Stella is framing the arranged marriage and divorce to her kid (trailer). It's gone from neither of them loved eachother to Stolas never loving Stella.
Like how Andrealphus makes Stolas' "cheating" into something that can be used to try and get more money.
Instead of something all 3 of them know Stella doesn't really care about other than it makes her image look bad.
Stolitz can work through this together, becoming something other than toxic; because they do care about and love eachother. And work to not keep hurting eachother moving falwards, it won't change that they have hurt eachother in the past.
But unlike unlike with an abuser they do want the best for eachother other.
I was just scrolling through my dash and found a post that really made me think.
This is a vent type post so it's below the cut if you don't want to read that. Also spoilers for Helluva Boss.
It was criticizing people who like the stolitz ship because "stolas and blitz are abusers" and that immediately made the ship wrong.
First of all, it really made me pause and think about the media literacy of people who watch shows like Helluva or Hazbin but can't look deeper than the character's direct actions. Yes, they're both assholes. But there's far more to it than that. Both of them have been fundamentally changed and affected by the ways they were raised; Blitz is avoidant of love and affection because his dad used him for money and his mom died in a fire he was blamed for. His best friend and love interest shunned him for years over a misunderstanding and everyone he loved turned their backs on him, his own sister included. Whereas Stolas is a prince who was in a very abusive arranged marriage and has this idea of love that comes from operas and movies, a very over exaggerated "shout it from the rooftops" rose-tinted shades type of love that quite frankly is impossible in our world and the show's. His relationship was horrible and he escaped into the worlds of movies and songs, and this gave him an unrealistic view of love.
Second, acting like people can't be shitty in relationships and still love one another is ignorant. Personal vent below.
I have a long term boyfriend; and we recently had a very heated fight because we both wanted things from the other that we couldn't communicate clearly. We both said hurtful things that we didn't mean. It doesn't make us abusive; it makes us human. People aren't perfect.
I feel like this criticism struck a particular nerve for me because I myself relate a lot to Blitz. I was in an abusive relationship, and that kind of thing changes you in ways you can't really describe to other people. I became very codependent and reserved, and after the relationship finally ended I felt even more lost than when I was in it (similar to Blitz fighting for his "relationship" with Stolas back, despite knowing it's unhealthy) because I had become so used to the chaos that calm felt like a threat.
You can say hurtful things and not be an abuser. Stolas is absolutely completely non self aware and he said hurtful things to Blitz because of it. That doesn't make him this horrible caricature of an abuser. He literally doesn't know any other method of love. He doesn't understand how his actions affect Blitz because he's a damn prince. Of course he's going to be out of touch and self-important. It also doesn't make him innocent.
Neither of them are innocent. They were both assholes to one another. But that doesn't make them abusers. Good lord people
#stolitz#helluva boss#tw: abuse#Abuse Vs toxic relationship#Still the biggest Stolitz shipper in the world but think things had to fall apart in full moon/apology tour#so they can get to a place where they're able to be together without accidentally keeping hurting eachother#Toxic as in bad for you or hurts you
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You're my baby, say it to me...
#gundam witch from mercury#gwitch#wfm#sulemio#suletta mercury#miorine rembran#i bet on losing dogs as per gwitch current story progression aka ep17 do you see my vision...#i have particular mixed feelings on ep 17 most of which i feel that the story is done a bit sloppy i think it started around ep 16 or 15#i really need to get this out so i could study damn it !!#first of all with miorine with the one who's losing a lot by being complicit with prospera's quiet zero significantly trapping herself furt#er in the cycle of revenge and also losing the friends she has come to cherish and also... at the same time knowing hal truths of what real#ly happened prospera true plan. vanadis. aerial and suletta true nature. earth as a spacian battleground. and the whole lot#i feel like she's rushing thru her birthday to eject sul asap from prosperas plan and now whats done is done i feel like she underestimate#what conviction on how suletta values what family means to her. prospera lines where she wonders whether sul will give aerial up#easily is giving vibes that its possible for suletta to take drastic measures to get her family back. miorine grows up on a world that#is defined by strict rules but suletta does not... that is after she's starting to get over her heartbreak i think...#whats interesting about gwitch is that although it considered utena as one of its base material it mixes said materials with how gundam sto#ryline works while simultaneously keeping up with today's themes. so honestly... when this happened today im a bit pissed#another thing that even though on a surface level suletta plays the role of utena with miorine as anthy they are also anthy and utena#respectively. suletta and utena with their kind hearted and naive self with a sense of justice left behind the insidious plot of the school#anthy and miorine titled the bride who adored their respective partner up to the point of deception and betrayal for their own good#SULETTA AND ANTHY GOD THE WITCh. red motifs. i find it funny they both have siblings okay this is messed up. the character shrouded in myst#ery. SCREAMS AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS THE CHICK WHO IS YET TO HATCHH !!!! RAHHH#insert utena student council theme somewhere around here#and lastly utena and miorine. the “princess”that is ready to take on a world that is threatening her loved one. both are only child god no.#this is my personal feelings but i will find it heartbreaking that despite everthing suletta will runs to miorine no matter how much she#push her away... but i also want and find it interesting where despite loving and believing in her suletta will slowly will ALSO despise#her for letting them drift apart kind of like anthy and utena on the akio apocalypse arc....... do i want this to happen...? do i....? >yes#regardless augh what a heartwrenching lovely episode despite me knowing it will happen at some point during the show#im like the surprised pikachu meme with tears in my eyes
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I just finished watching the bits of your life dlc and now I'm wondering if any of the extra paths might also be canon?
i LOVE bits of your life, god i miss that crazy bitch eamon so much (affectionate).
hmm, i mean, if i remember correctly, i don't think any of the possible paths in this DLC are particularly canon-breaking. sure, you can maybe argue that some of them might affect the results of the election in some way (especially those drunk!peter paths), but i don't think any of it would be enough to sway people who were already going to vote for advance. so probably the default path is the most canon one, but you can really pick and choose here.
they're all canon to dave, though, that's for sure!
#it's interesting cause this dlc isn't really linear in any way#you could potentially arrive at the endings in any number of ways and there's not really an 'ending' like in the timeloop#(i mean you do have to play it about 17 times to get all the dave and eric content if i remember correctly)#so yeah. it's canon if you want it to be lmao.#i mean all the info IS canon that's for sure. but whatever happened that day that's up to you#juli answers#not for broadcast#bits of your life
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I have obtained a new oc and in the process I've already signed myself up for needing to make at least 3 new ocs for his story which he now has despite me initially Intending for him to be a side character for a different side character to hang out with. My townhouse has over 200 characters on it.
#rat rambles#oc posting#he doesn't have an official name yet but he is my silly billy and I love him#also take every him with an asterisk again he's like super new (I just got him today)#although several elements of his story so far have been things Ive been wanting to do for a while so thats a part of why I have so many#ideas for him already since its some stuff I've been wanting to play around with for a while#the real reason he has a chokehold on me rn is that I tripped and made him my 500 thousanth character with identity issues#I <3 characters with a fucked up relationship with their sense of self and what it even means to be themself#oh hes also a magic cat world character because thats what like 90% of my ocs are from at this point lol#and another goop related guy but this time not directly related to every other goop guy#he doesnt interact with any of them or even know most of them exist#long story short hes a robot who used to not be a robot but remembers nothing abt his life before he turned himself into a robot#all he has as reference is a mostly ruined journal his past self kept that is almost entirely unreadable due to it getting soaked in goop#he knows that this was self inflicted and his approximate age but that's abt it in terms of useful information#early story is mostly just him traveling alone trying to see if anyone nearby knows who he is but after going through like 5 or so towns he#starts to get more worried and upset about the whole situation and starts trying to look into some different missing person reports in#hopes that he can find one of himself#he runs out of the savings he had on him pretty quickly though so he had to figure out how to stay afloat while doing his research#'luckily' he meets a man while looking into one case he found who was willing to let him stick around at his place while looking into it#this guy had some investment in these dissapearances because he suspected that they related to his father and hoped to find any sort of#window in what he was up to since he hadnt seen him since he ran away at around 17#spoilers his dad is cake this is still connected to cake nonsense because everything in this world fucking does but the main boy himself#actually has no ties to cake or his activities so thats smth at least#but yeah long story short things get. real bad for my boy after the first few months of staying at this guy's place.#yknow how risa in the future was often used as a weapon of war using some unstable chemicals? yeah guess where that started.#mr daddy issue haver over here may understand that his dad is a bad person but evidently that doesnt stop him from being not much better#currently Im planning on having main boy escape eventually and get stuck in the non magic world where he meets april but that could change#it depends on if I want him to interact with the other stories going on at all or not#I probably wont but I would like to leave myself some wiggle room to let him meet more side characters#like (looks with big sad wet eyes) ginger maybe? please? please april? let me see your sister? that you havent seen in years? please?
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𝓗𝓪𝓲𝓴𝔂𝓾𝓾 𝓫𝓸𝔂𝓼 𝓶𝓮𝓮𝓽𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓪 𝓹𝓲𝓬𝓴-𝓶𝓮 𝓰𝓲𝓻𝓵
Feat. Nekoma & Inarizaki -> Part 2 [Aoba Johsai & Fukurodani]
Premise: You had to do something else for a week and a half, leaving the boys alone for that period. Although they told the coaches that they could survive without you, the coaches ask a girl to help them out instead. They weren’t particularly excited, which got worse the more they spent time with her
Nekoma
You arrived later than you expected, just on time for the club, So you didn’t get to see your dear team until much later
When you enter the gym, you see a…strange view
No one in the team was happy
Yaku and Kai didn’t have any expressions on them, Lev was pouting aggressively, Fukunaga had a frown, Yamamoto was mumbling words and Kenma was nowhere to be seen.
The girl that was supposed to replace you for the week was walking besides a very annoyed Kuroo, who was pushing the cart with the balls
Weird, considering that doing that was the basics for being a manager
They were so out of it that none notice the sound of your shoes, weird considering how attentive they are
“Ah Kuroo senpai, thank God you helped me! I’m so small and weak that I wasn’t able to push it over” you heard her say, making you cringe at the sentence
“Yeah, whatever” said a disinteresting Kuroo
And that’s when you confirm that something was really wrong, Kuroo was never this dismissive
“What’s happening? Everything ok?” you asked making Kuroo turn around with a relief smile on
“Oh hi, Kuroo senpai was just helping me since you know, I’m so small and weak” says fluttering her eyes at him
“It’s just pushing the cart. It has wheels on it…” You gave a disbelief look to Kuroo, who just rolls his eyes “it’s not that hard”
“Maybe for someone as big as you it wouldn’t be so difficult!”
That was it for Kuroo, who quickly move to your side giving you a hug
“Well, guess you can leave now that our manager is back. Bye”
"Kuroo-senpai!! Stooop! I can stay here too!” says stomping her feet
The whole commotion cause everyone to look at you, and you swear you heard a collective sigh full of relief
Quickly enough you felt a bunch of arms around you, a bunch of head pats and a ton of screams of your name
Which quickly was interrupted by a loud scream by the girl “KYANMA!!”
You look at the stairs where Kenma was standing shaking slightly with big eyes. The girl tried to get close to him, yelling “They are being mean, Kyanma!” but he just runs away towards you
Yes. Run. He hated her, she was so loud and desperate, Kenma literally couldn’t stand her.
“You’re back” says Kenma hiding behind you, showing more happiness that you ever have seen from him
So happy that he went to hug you tightly, he really missed you
“Anyways, now that our team is finally complete you can leave. Please go out” says Kuroo
“Agh! Fine! I’m way too good for you anyways!”
She sends you a look full of venom, but you didn’t really notice it
After all, you had a clingy Kenma hugging you tightly and the rest of the team waiting for one
Inarizaki
After your small break reached an end you finally were ready to go back to your boys
They were having a small hangout in the Miya household
They tried to be sneaky about it, not wanting to invite the girl that was replacing you
But sadly for them, she somehow knew and crash into them before you could arrive
She’s the first person you see when you enter their house with the spare key they gave you
“Who are you?” she asks with her eyebrow raising
“Ehh…I’m Yn, their manager. You helped them while i was out?” You ask back, confused at her sudden presence
“Yes…I actually think I should be the new manager! After all I play like 17 sports and definitely know more than you about sports. What do you think this is? Cheer? Not like it’s a sport, but whatever” she says with a overconfident smirk
In the meantime the guys that were already in the house starting to appear into the hall, confused at how loud her voice was being
“Anyways! Why don’t you leave? A girl like you probably doesn’t even know a thing about sports! We’re gonna play videogames while you probably just want to paint your nails or whatever!”
“Who says you’re staying?” Atsumu says, frowning
“Ha Ha, you’re so funny Atsumu! Of course I’m staying” she says nervous
“No, you’re not” Osamu adds
“I’m sure we can all hang out tog-” you try to say
“You shut it! I bet you don’t know anything about the sport!” She says to you despite you trying to help her
“Really? You barely even know what we play, you just join because you wanted to see hot guys” a voice behind you says, Suna entering the house as he passes his arm through your shoulders
The girl immediately went pale, stammering the next sentence “well…well, I mean, of course I know!”
“Sure, that's why you asked 'if we knew' the rules of basketball yesterday. Just leave, nobody wants you here anyway”
She scoffs annoyed, looking at the rest of the team as if asking for help, which she doesn’t receive. She scoffs one more time, walking towards the door and leaving as she shoots a glare towards you
“You guys are so mean” you say, receiving a chuckle
“She deserved it, if anything she just hinder our practice” Osamu adds
“Besides, nobody talks about our beautiful manager like that” Atsumu hugs you along side Suna
The rest of the team also comes to hug you, and while they were a bit rude, you knew that they only had good intentions
You love this foxes too much
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Note: a little something about my boys, also, I cringed way too much while writing this
#haikyuu x reader#hq x reader#haikyu x reader#haikyuu fluff#haikyuu imagines#haikyuu scenarios#haikyuu#kenma x reader#kenma x y/n#kenma imagine#kenma x you#kenma fluff#kuroo testuro#kuroo x reader#kuroo tetsuro x reader#kuroo x y/n#kuroo x you#kuroo fluff#nekoma#atsumu imagines#atsumu scenarios#atsumu x reader#atsumu x y/n#atsumu fluff#suna headcanons#suna x reader#suna x you#suna x y/n#suna fluff#osamu x reader
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charles leclerc answers the internet’s most searched questions
gif by @countingstars-17 <33
MASTERLIST | MY PATREON
"Hi I'm Charles Leclerc and today I'm going to be answering the web's most searched questions about me."
Charles said to the camera, he was wearing his typical media day outfit, a Ferrari half zip up jacket and his baggy jeans, ones that no matter how hard his girlfriend tried to get rid off it was just impossible because he liked them too much.
"First question, what is Charles Leclerc's number?" he read on the iPad the Sky Sports team had given him to read the question, "I hope we are speaking about the driver number, because my girlfriend won't like that people are searching for my phone number on the internet and I'll be very worried if you can find it," the crew laughed at his comment, "But it's number 16."
"What is Charles Leclerc's favorite song?" he read the next question, "I think overall, it's Where is the Love by the Black Eyed Peas, but recently I've been loving Sabrina Carpenter's songs, and that's thanks to my girlfriend."
"Did Charles Leclerc retire?" he couldn't help but let out a laugh at the question, "Are people really asking this question? The answer is no, I'm not that old and I hope I don't look that old. I've still got many years in me I hope."
"Did Charles Leclerc win in Monaco?" a small smile played on his face, "The answer changed just a few weeks ago but yes I did. It was a really special moment, my mum cried, my brothers cried, my girlfriend cried. It was beautiful."
"Did Charles Leclerc adopt Oscar Piastri?," he couldn't help but laugh again, "That answer also changed a few weeks ago and yes I did. He's one of my sons now."
"Does Charles Leclerc speak Italian? Yes I do."
"Does Charles Leclerc have a sister? No I don't."
"Does Charles Leclerc have a girlfriend?" he could feel his cheeks blushing as he read, "Yes I do. And as you can tell, I talk a lot about her, so much that there are compilation videos of me just talking about her, I've seen them."
"Will Charles Leclerc win a championship?" he made a thinking face, "I'm curious to know what Google says about that one, but I'll say yes. At least if I work day and night for that, so I hope it will happen one day."
"Is Charles Leclerc good at cooking?" Charles chuckled. "Well, I like to think I'm decent. I can make a mean pasta and I really enjoy it, but my girlfriend is the real chef in our relationship. She loves baking, and her cookies are the best."
"Can Charles Leclerc play the piano? Well I'm not a pianist but I have enough skill to really enjoy it. So yeah, I can play the piano.
"Does Charles Leclerc have any pets?" he smiled warmly, "Yes, my girlfriend and I have a dog named Leo. He's a an absolute sweetheart. He even comes to some of the race weekends with us."
"What is Charles Leclerc's favorite date night activity?" he chuckled, raising an eyebrow, "Did my girlfriend search that?" the crew laughed, and Charles continued, "If she did, she knows I love our cozy movie nights at home, eating whatever we want and just chilling on the couch."
"Alright, last one," he said, looking back at the iPad, "What does Charles Leclerc do in his free time?" he read, "When I'm not racing or training, I enjoy spending time with my family, friends and my girlfriend of course. I love going to the beach, traveling or just relaxing at home."
He set the iPad down and looked directly into the camera. "Thank you for all the questions! I hope you learned something new about me. Until next time, ciao!"
did i reference my own fic here? anyway i hope you like thisss
#charles leclerc#charles leclerc au#charles leclerc x female reader#charles leclerc x reader#charles leclerc x you#charles leclerc fluff#charles leclerc smau#charles leclerc fake instagram#charles leclerc fanfic#spanish gp 2024#formula 1 fanfic#f1#formula 1#formula one#charles leclerc fanfiction#harrysfolklore#f1 x reader#cl16 x reader#f1 fanfiction#charles leclerc smut#f1 grid x reader
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Thinking about Isagi Yoichi, the hero of Japan and biggest egoist on the field, being a complete loser when it comes to the girl he likes.
Like, he may insult the opposing team's players (and even his own teammates sometimes!) in the field, but gets all red and stutters when he needs to talk to you.
Isagi Yoichi who is absolutely delusional. If he holds a conversation with you for more than 5 minutes, you can bet he's gonna think about it during THE WHOLE WEEK. His friends can't escape his feelings either: he's always talking about you or associating things with you. Like: "Oh, she would like this!" Or "You guys won't believe it: we talked for almost 10 minutes today!" Please save Hiori and Bachira. They can't take it anymore. (Well, Bachira doesn't really care, but Hiori is really almost losing his shit.)
This absolute dork would listen to love songs while thinking about you and then get all blushy after, hugging a pillow while stuffing his red face on it and everything. And heaven forbids anyone enters his room after you compliment him! He's kicking his feet, screaming, crying and laughing all at the same time. SPECIALLY if it's a compliment regarding his football abilities. Say something along the lines of "That goal today was amazing, Yoichi! It was such a smart play!" and he's melting and thinking about it through the whole month.
Speaking of football, he'd LOVE to see you in his soccer games/practices cheering loudly for him. I mean, he's already absolutely smitten for you, but seeing you there screaming because of his goal or smiling because of a play he made just makes his obsession love for you grow 10 times bigger!!
He'd even ask his mom for advice on what to say to you! She thinks it's cute her little boy is growing up (even though he's already 17), so she tries to help him the best she can. But there's just so much mama can do. He tries to follow her teachings, but, as I said before, always stutters and trips over his words, which makes him feel really stupid and almost give up on love, since it's a "very hard and painful feeling that just hurts people" (his words).
When he finally musters up the courage to ask you out on a date (after a lot of insistence from Hiori, who is just really tired from all of this), he wants it all to go perfect. He has it all pictured in his head: he'll ask you to meet him in the back of the school after extracurricular activities so he can ask you out. He'll have flowers and everything, and then he'll say that speech he spent the last 14 days memorizing. You'll say yes with a smile in you face (he's already blushing just from imagining your smile, he really is down bad) and then you'll live your happilly ever after together.
Spoiler alert: nothing went as planned. First, the letter he wrote asking you to meet him in the back of the school got wet because he accidentally spilt water on it. So, he had to make a half-assed substitute letter to put in your desk.
Second, he forgot soccer leaves people all stinky. So, at the end of practice, he had to choose between taking a shower and showing up all drenched and late and showing up sweaty and smelly. He choose the former, after all, showing up late but presentable is better than showing up early but looking like you got shit on by a racoon.
Third, when he finally got there (you were almost leaving, thank God he caught you just in time!) and apologized for being late, he gave you the flowers. He thought nothing else could go wrong, but things can always get worse than they already are. But I don't blame him for not knowing that things could, in fact, get worse: how was he supposed to guess there were literally bees in the flowers? To get rid of them, he tried to shook the bouquet, but accidentally ended up throwing it at your face. With bees and all.
You screamed. He screamed. He grabbed the bouquet and shoved it away, looking at the ground and wishing it'd just swallow him whole. He messed up his chance, you'd never ever even look at his way again. You hated him, absolutely hated him. You wish he was dead, you were going to change schools just to never see him again, he's the worse person ever-
Huh? What is that sound? You're laughing...? You're seriously laughing?
You laughed. He got confused.
He looked up. You were throwing your head back while wiping away the tears that got out of your eyes. You were clutching your stomach because you were laughing so hard it was starting to hurt.
You laughed. He laughed.
You both looked like maniacs. Lunatics. Laughing alone in the middle of nowhere. You looked crazy he WAS crazy. Crazy for you. Not that you knew it at that time
He then decided to just shoot his shot and finally asked you out, without flowers or memorized speech. He didn't even think you'd accept, he just thought it wouldn't hurt to try.
Imagine his face when you said yes. Even with the shitty proposal and embarassing moments, you said yes. And he was absolutely delighted. You gave him your number so he could text you the details about the date, and he was seriously shaking. I'm being for real, his pupils were blown wide and he was almost crying from happiness.
He went home jumping and skipping from happiness. Now, he wasn't just a loser. He was a loser with a date, so that makes him less loserly (at least that's what he thinks).
You accepting his proposal didn't make him talk less about you. Actually, he was now talking about you more than before, if it's even possible. Hiori felt like killing himself (he was happy for his friend, of course, he just didn't want to admit it).
This fic has a "sequel", it's this one
Masterlist
#loser Isagi holds a special place in my heart#bllk#bllk manga#bllk x reader#blue lock#bllk x you#blue lock x reader#blue lock x you#bllk isagi#isagi yoichi#isagi x you#isagi x reader#blue lock isagi#blue lock fluff#bllk fluff#fluff#isagi fluff
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fontana di trevi | 01
you seek out a vampire to help you with something.
pairing: vampire!jk x sadgirl, blood donor!reader
genre: vampire au, angst, fluff (really a sadgirl fic lol)
word count: 7.6k
warnings: blood, needles, talking about how you euthanize cows and such? suicidal thoughts (not graphic or elaborated? very straightforward?)
rating: NC-17 – Adults Only
masterlist
part 1/2
<previous | next>
© between takes is copyright jeonstudios. this fic can not be modified, re-posted, or translated without my permission.
It’s a freezing cold December night when you step into the dark alleyway, your thighs having gone numb under your jeans a while ago. The sun set hours ago, and the only light present is that of a few scattered streetlights.
Your pulse quickens as you take another cautious step. Something moves further in, where the light barely reaches, and since there’s no snow yet, you hear the slight crunch of frozen fall leaves under… footsteps. From the dark, a tall figure approaches slowly in a way that would have anyone’s blood chilling.
“I have a proposition,” you state, trying to stand somewhat tall.
"A proposition?” a low voice inquires, and you have to tilt your head up to look at the face that emerges from the shadows. “I’ll fuck you, but I’m not turning you for sex.”
“That’s not what—I don’t want sex or to be turned.”
He directs his full attention to you, and in turn, you get a better glimpse of his features. He looks like a man; incredibly handsome with jet black hair, eyebrows, and eyes, but his skin is paler than anything you’ve seen, and there’s the tiniest smudge of something red tinting the corner of his mouth. Though his eyebrow is raised, he doesn’t look very entertained.
“You can have my blood. All of it, if you just take it quickly.”
He lifts his hand to slowly wipe the red from his face. The outfit he wears—a black leather jacket and black pants—looks human but is definitely too cold to wear this time of year.
“What makes you think I wouldn’t simply take it if I wanted to? Why would I need your permission?”
“I’m just saying. Take it if you want it?”
He looks at you, seemingly at least a little intrigued by the odd human in front of him. You definitely understand that most people run the other way at the sight of this big, intimidating being.
“You realize ‘all of it’ means you’ll be dead, right?”
You nod. “Do we have a deal?”
“Regardless of if I wanted to or not, I literally just… ate, so I physically can’t. Not for another week or so.”
You feel your shoulders drop slightly, and you blink, trying to improvise a plan.
“Okay, well… Do you want to meet here in a week, then?”
At that, he tilts his head. “You want to die here, in a dirty alleyway?”
“I don’t care. So yes or no?”
“If you want me to do this, give me something in return first, okay?”
You look at him in confusion. “You’re getting my blood?”
“Who's to say your blood is even good?”
Trying not to let his words discourage you, you look around, thinking. Maybe you should’ve played harder to get? At least in the sense of giving him a hunt? You don’t want to waste any time, but he might not be your best option.
“Fine, do you know if there are other vampires around here? How do I find them?”
It took you three weeks to even find this one, and maybe it was more luck than anything, so setting off on another search doesn’t sound too exciting. These creatures really do live in the shadows.
“No, listen. Whether your blood is delicious or not, it would certainly be helpful to have it. But…”
“But?”
“Let me stock up on it first. Meet me at my place and let me take some every week for two months and then I’ll take the rest.”
You look around again, unsure if you should just try to find someone else. Two months is not ideal; it’s too long, and you’re sure you could manage to find someone else in the meantime.
The vampire senses your hesitation and takes a step closer.
“You want it to be quick, which means you’re scared of pain. People around here, my kind, tend to drag it out. Pain and fear equal adrenalin, which gives the blood a certain… flavor that some enjoy. Agree to my compromise, and I’ll make it quick and practically painless.”
He gives you the smallest of smiles, barely a hint of one, but it feels wicked and makes a cold shiver run down your spine. You know he’s not trustworthy, but he’s getting a lot out of the deal, and you have nothing to lose, really.
“Okay. What’s the address?”
In the middle of the day a week later, you find yourself in front of a big two-story house. It’s nice, looks pretty expensive but… like a regular house? It’s painted white and definitely not blood-red or even black. Aligning more with your expectations is how the house is partially obscured from the road by huge, towering spruces and how it seems to lie just a little bit further from the neighboring houses. There’s a thin layer of snow on the ground now, but you’re not sure whether it’ll stick.
After confirming that no, there is no door bell, you lift your fist to knock on the door. Vampires have crazy good hearing anyway, right? You’d assume so, given the fact that they’re always portrayed as super fast, super strong, super… attractive, and with super hearing, super vision, just… super all around. The mythical creatures don’t officially exist to the world, but in your little town, everyone knows they do. And they do. You found one. So if they drink blood and are super attractive—at least this one—it’s not too weird to assume there’s more truth to their pop-culture portrayal.
You can see how the town’s vampire believers and enthusiasts shake their heads in disappointment at your relative indifference, but truth be told, you’d probably be more curious about the vampire whose home you’re about to step into if the situation was different. Or maybe you’d have some self-preservation and run the other way?
The door opens almost soundlessly, and when you look up, you meet those black, bottomless eyes. It really is his color, you think, your gaze drawn to the short-sleeve, black button-down he’s wearing, the top three buttons or so left undone. With it, he’s wearing black pants on the looser side. He looks incredibly handsome, and very effortlessly so. His hair is shiny and looks soft, and like it naturally falls into that slight side-part.
“Are you gonna come in or just stand there and ogle me?” He isn’t smiling teasingly; he just looks at you, unimpressed.
“Sorry.”
He turns to retreat back into the house, and you’re left to enter through the open door. There are no lights on inside, and when you close the door behind you, cutting off a majority of the daylight, you start to feel like you’re truly inside a vampire’s home. Still, it’s light enough for you to follow said vampire’s back after hastily removing your coat and folding it to leave over the boots you step out of. Since you assumed he needs access to the veins in your arms, you picked out a gray t-shirt and a black zip-up hoodie that’s a little too big on you, paired with jeans. Nothing fancy—you’re not there to impress him.
With quickened steps, you catch up to him as he wordlessly leads the way into his kitchen, a place you doubt he uses much. Vampires don’t actually eat, do they? Either way, the room is clean and feels almost... sterile, despite the walnut cupboards and dark gray countertops.
On the short end of a wide, matching walnut dining table, a bunch of supplies are laid out. He gestures to one of the two chairs positioned around the corner of the table, but as you sit down, he turns to leave.
“Uhm, I don’t know how to do this,” you admit, pulling the zipper of your hoodie down and slipping one arm out. “I mean, I’m sure it can’t be that complicated in… theory, but I don’t think I can do it on myself.”
“I’m just gonna wash my hands,” he explains, and there seems to be a very slight trace of emotion in his voice and on his face that you interpret as amusement. He thinks you're dumb.
Oh. Well… does it really matter if his hands are squeaky clean or not?
Water hits the sink with a familiar sound as you focus on the table, inspecting the supplies. There’s a needle with a tube attached to it, a tourniquet, some syringes, antiseptic wipes, and a few empty blood bags. A voice in your head wonders if maybe he changed his mind and will simply take everything at this moment because those bags look pretty big, and you’re not sure you can fill them and still walk out of this place.
The water stops, and you sit pretty and wait until he positions the other chair in front of you, a little to the side. You’ve never been a fan of needles or having your blood drawn, so you focus your eyes the other way, to a specific part of his kitchen window and the overcast outside. You hear the sound of paper and plastic ripping, and you feel his cold fingers place and tighten the tourniquet around your upper arm and feel for your veins before he wipes the area clean.
“Scared of needles?” he teases arrogantly, and you see how he reaches for the sharp object on the table.
“Bodily reaction. I can’t help it,” you explain before holding your breath and waiting for the poke.
It comes soon after; an uncomfortable but not too painful prick. With one hand, he moves some things around on the table, and you try to keep as still as possible, loathing the feeling of a needle jolting around in your vein.
“You’re not curious as to why I know how to do this stuff? Or worried that I don’t?” he wonders, releasing the tourniquet and seemingly fastening the needle to your skin with some tape.
“No. I guess it doesn’t surprise me; blood and vampires seem to go hand in hand.”
He surprises you by letting out a quiet chuckle before placing a red stress ball in your hand. “Squeeze this. I’ll be back to change the bag in a few minutes.”
Nodding, you watch him rise from his chair and leave the room.
Left to your own devices and with the filling blood bag taped to the chair’s armrest by its thin tube, you close your eyes.
The house is entirely silent, and you have no idea where the vampire went. After he moved the stuff around on the table, you were able to count exactly three blood bags with a printed 450 ml on them. That adds up to somewhere between one and one and half liters and around 30% of your blood volume if you’ve calculated correctly. According to your brief research, a human doesn’t typically survive losing more than 40% of their blood unless given emergency medical attention. You probably won’t feel too great after today, but you most likely won’t die. You think.
Slowly, the minutes start to tick by, but you feel okay so far. You’ve got a good rhythm going for the stress ball, squeezing, holding, releasing. Squeezing, holding, releasing. The silence has your mind wandering.
“You can stop for a bit.”
The vampire’s sudden voice has your eyes flying open. He hadn’t made a single sound, returning to the kitchen. Catching your breath, you nod, keeping the ball still in your hand. You don’t look at the needle in your arm, but you see the bag full of dark red that the vampire sits down and trades for an empty one, attaching the tubes before he fastens them in the same way to the armrest.
When he’s done, he lifts his hand, and you spot one of his fingertips covered in red. For a split second, he observes it, and then he puts the finger to his tongue. At first, it’s weird to see, and you almost want to tell him that it’s not hygienic to taste other people’s blood. That is before you remember that other people’s blood is what sustains him.
He looks to be assessing something, and suddenly, you’re worried he might not like it.
“B positive," he focuses on you, but you give him a slight, confused shrug because you have no idea what blood type you are or what it means in this context.
“Is that… okay?”
“It’s… meh. Not the most common but also not the rarest. Most of my kind prefer A or even AB, though.”
“Oh."
Of course, your blood is substandard. You nod toward the filled bag on the table. “Will you have any use for this then?”
Truly, it would be just your luck to not even have the scary creatures, who roam the night in search of victims to drain, want your blood.
“Yeah. Doesn’t matter. I can always use it as a backup if I don’t get the chance to feed in time. Squeeze.”
Per his order, you resume squeezing. The rest of the process goes relatively smoothly, although you’ve started feeling a lot… weaker by the time the second bag is full and the vampire is about to switch it for the third.
There’s a lot about blood and the human body that you don’t know, and you’re silently wondering what the recovery rate is and if you can really give him this much every week. Does he plan on taking less next time or has he not taken it into consideration?
“Why do you want to die?”
You blink at his bluntness, looking at his uncaring face. He obviously doesn’t care to hear the longer story, and you don’t care to tell it, so you settle for a shorter, more condensed version.
“There’s something wrong with me. I don’t belong here.”
“Didn’t taste like it.”
“Maybe not physically.”
He doesn’t dig further, but when your blood starts trickling into the third bag, the vampire stays seated. You still close your eyes, afraid that you’ll stare at his face otherwise, and he didn’t particularly seem to like that.
You’re not sure if it’s just the blood loss or a combination of having slept poorly for the last few weeks and being in a calm, silent environment, but you’re feeling tired. Really tired. And cold.
“Squeeze harder,” his voice instructs, void of emotion. You do your best to follow his instructions, squeezing the ball tighter even though it’s getting difficult.
“We’re done.”
You open your eyes, finding the vampire much closer than before and his fingers swiftly removing the needle from your arm.
“Okay, so… uh…” you start, finding it hard to choose words or even think of what you want to convey in the first place. “Do I come back… same time… next week?”
“No. Make it two weeks.”
You look at him, confusion written across your features, but it’s hard to focus your eyes on his face. It’s blurry, and there are dark spots infiltrating your vision.
“I took as much as I could, and while you won’t have time to replenish everything in two weeks either, I’ll at least get more out of you than in just one week.”
He smiles, and if you had the energy and maybe (mostly) the common sense, you’d be scared by the way he truly looks so wicked.
“Okay. I’ll see you then.”
The vampire takes the stress ball from you and rises from the chair with the used supplies in his hands. You grip the armrests best you can, but your right hand slips, and you stumble a little, trying to stand. It’s so incredibly cold, and you feel dizzy, nauseous, and weak, putting your hoodie back on properly.
Very quietly, you hear him move around the kitchen, and while he hasn’t explicitly told you to leave, you’re very much assuming he wants nothing else. So on unsteady legs, you make your way back to the front door, where you grab your coat to haphazardly put it on, and you step into your boots, unable to bend down to tie them properly.
You’re able to make it to your old but trustworthy car that you parked on the street, but when you sit down in the driver’s seat and close the door behind you, you realize that you definitely can’t drive as it’s proving more and more difficult to even keep your eyes open. You can’t walk home, you have no one to come pick you up, and even if there probably is a bus stop somewhere around here, you don’t think you’d make it there.
So with your last burst of energy, you pull the lever under the seat to push it back a little, leaving your boots on the floor as you bring your feet and knees up. Your coat finds a new purpose as a makeshift blanket, and you cover as much of your body as you can with it. Fully knowing that as you close your eyes, you might never open them again, you don’t care that much. Dying is what you want, anyway.
Surprisingly, you do open your eyes again. It’s dark when you do, and it’s so, so cold. Your heart is beating hard as it tries to circulate blood that just isn’t there anymore, and it’s with a low groan that you move, trying to reach for the phone in the pocket of your coat.
It’s seven p.m.. You met with the vampire at two p.m., and the visit took less than an hour, which means that you got into your car at maybe a bit before three, and so you’ve been passed out for four hours. It takes you a while to come to properly, and even when you do, you feel weak, groggy, and stiff. Ideally, you shouldn’t drive, but you have no other means of getting home, so you decide on a route consisting of smaller roads with lower speed limits and less traffic.
It’s no wonder you feel like you’re on death’s doorstep because when you do some further Googling on blood donation and blood volumes at home, you calculate exactly how much someone of your size would have. And you find that the vampire took 38% of that.
Three weeks later, you’re knocking on his door again. He opens it, an eyebrow raised and looking even more unimpressed than last time.
“I’m sorry I didn’t show last week, but I was sick,” you inform, hoping he’ll accept your apology. “Didn’t think you would’ve wanted to see… that.”
“You’re right.”
That’s all he says before he turns, leaving the door open for you just like last time. Well, you take that as a sign that you’re forgiven, and so you follow him inside.
Trying to keep up with him, you’re feeling even smaller and weaker around the tall vampire than before, and truth be told, you are. Because according to those Google searches, while it takes the body only approximately 24-48 hours to replace the blood plasma, it takes four to six weeks to replenish the red blood cells and recover fully. And that’s from having one bag of 450ml donated; you left three and it’s only been three weeks since. Essentially, the vampire is taking your blood a lot faster than you can produce it.
Like last time, you sit down on the same chair in his kitchen, but since he wasn’t expecting you, he has to retrieve the supplies from elsewhere. You remain quiet while he organizes everything, stealing a few glances at him in the meantime. This time, he’s wearing a black t-shirt and black shorts, and you’re amazed at just how… ordinary he looks. In the best way possible, of course.
Without being too tight, the shirt does a very good job at showing off his physique: it hangs wonderfully off his shoulders and dips slightly between his pecs. It exposes the prominent veins stretching across both his arms and hands, and you wonder if vampires also ‘live’ in the way that he has a heart that pumps blood around his body. Or if he’s really ‘dead’ or ‘undead’ like some media describe them?
“What?” he questions, having caught you staring.
“You look very human,” you say quietly. “Like a college guy.”
An athletic college guy. The one who’s just a little too handsome to be exact.
The trace of amusement that flashes across his face is so faint that you’re not sure you didn’t simply imagine it. He doesn’t respond to your observation, only sitting down and reaching for your arm. His large hands feel a little warmer against your skin than you remember them doing last time, and you turn your head when he prepares the needle. There’s a pinch and then the immediate relief when he loosens the tourniquet.
“Here,” the red stress ball is placed into your hand again. Looking down briefly, you watch your own hand squeeze it, but the red fluid flowing through the transparent tube is too off-putting, and so you close your eyes again.
A minute or so passes while you keep squeezing the ball to some sort of rhythm tied to your breaths. It won’t be long. Soon, everything will be over.
Somewhere, you lose track of time, and to regain some sense of reality, you flutter your eyelids open. Only to see the vampire stare coldly at you. You freeze.
“I thought you left,” you admit, the surprise clear in your voice.
“I’m keeping an eye on you,” he explains, face still stoic.
You look at him dumbly. “No offense, but why? The point is to kill me, anyway?”
“No, it’s to take as much as possible,” he corrects you. “To a reasonable extent. And then kill you. Here, let me change the bag.”
You close your eyes once more as he switches the full bag to a new, empty one. The dizziness comes a lot quicker than it did three weeks ago, but then again, you’ve been feeling more or less weak and faint ever since that first donation.
“Okay, we’re done.”
You look at him, surprised. “Already? But you didn’t even fill the second bag fully?”
“I took too much last time, and like I said, I want to get as much out of you as possible.”
For the first time, you think you see a hint of a discreet fang when he gives you a blood-chilling smile.
The process of removing everything is quick, and before you know it, you’re putting your feet into your boots again. You feel faint, like your knees might buckle under you any second, but you don’t feel weak to the point of passing out for hours in your car; you do that when you’re home in bed instead.
Suffering from what you gather is immense anemia, you don’t have the energy to really do anything between your visits to the vampire besides lie on the couch and watch TV. You quit your retail job the Monday after finding him in that alleyway, confident (and correctly so) that you wouldn’t be able to handle really any job at all.
Even rotting away on the couch with your eyes glued to the screen, you can barely understand what the shows are about. Your brain struggles to place the people and remember the plot lines, and you find yourself almost daydreaming instead. Though it’s mostly just flashing images of the vampire whose name you still don’t know.
If your heart wasn’t already so strained, it would beat harder for him in some kind of fear-filled attraction. He’s absolutely gorgeous—and there’s definitely something almost drawing you to him—but he’s also so, so intimidating. If the end goal wasn’t to die, you’d for sure be running for the hills and looking over your shoulder late at night.
Next time, there’s a slight smile pulling on the vampire’s lips when he opens the door.
“Still alive?”
You chuckle quietly, looking down at your boots. “Unfortunately.”
Taking off your coat reveals another simple outfit with no other purpose than granting the vampire access to your arms while keeping your freezing body warm. This time, it’s a thick, brown cardigan over a t-shirt, paired with somewhat baggy jeans.
The contrast between your clothes is almost funny. Even indoors, you’d be freezing in the half-open thin, white dress shirt he wears messily tucked into black, also thin-looking slacks. The gap in his shirt makes you want to reach out and touch his pale chest, but of course, you keep your hands to yourself.
Once again, you follow him inside, and while you don’t need him to, he guides you to the same spot in his kitchen where the stuff is all laid out.
Sitting down, you slip your arm out of the cardigan and place it on the armrest. The vampire washes his hands and then comes to sit down in front of you, reaching for the tourniquet to position it around your bicep. With the elastic band tightened, he rips open an antiseptic wipe to clean the inside of your elbow, and then, he prepares the needle like always.
You look away, holding your breath until the pinch comes and for a few seconds after.
“The whole thing about vampires losing control around blood… I take it that’s just storytelling?”
“Depends,” he answers, and despite not looking at him, you just know he’s got one eyebrow raised and a hint of a cocky smile on his lips. “If we’re hungry and someone happens to bleed around us, yeah, it can be more… tempting. Also depends on what sort of blood we prefer.”
“And you don’t like mine,” you state, your foggy brain concluding it the reason he seems to not care about the vulnerable blood right in front of him.
He laughs this time, a really nice sound that has your strained heart almost skipping an important beat. “I changed my weekly feeding to Thursdays, so I’m still quite full. And your blood isn’t vile, it’s just not what I personally go crazy for.”
“Oh,” you let out, looking at him before something dawns on you. “Wait. You eat once a week only? How much do you eat then? Or… drink?”
He nods toward the bag he just secured to your arm. “Someone of my size typically only needs about two of these a week to survive and not maniacally hunt and kill, but to really thrive? Between two and three liters, so four to six bags. I usually go hunting Friday or Saturday night when most bars and pubs are full. It’s surprisingly easy to find a few drunks stumbling around who won’t even realize what happened the day after.”
“So you don’t… kill?”
“Not if we can help it. There’s been… an increase in vampires around here, and if people drop dead? No, it’s less suspicious and only a little more work to find a few victims instead of draining one dry.”
“Makes sense.”
“Mhm. I typically don’t have to beg women to come with me, either.”
Something ice cold travels through your body at that last sentence. You wonder whose blood was on his lips that night when you found him.
“I can’t believe you’re telling me this, though? You seem like you’d tell me to mind my own business.”
Even more, you can’t believe you asked.
He smiles. “I don’t know. Like I said, people will occasionally find out what I am, find me fascinating, and ask a thousand questions. I’ve always thought it to be incredibly annoying, and I’m not really supposed to tell them anything even if I wanted to—which I don’t—but it’s been… odd, not being questioned by you. At all. Almost boring, like I’m not interesting to you.”
His answer surprises you, and for a moment, you imagine teenage you, not bubbly per se but at least a bit more naive than the current version. Would she be the type to annoy him? You don’t think so.
“Objectively, you are interesting, but I can’t believe how brave people are? If things were different, I wouldn’t have gone out looking for a vampire in the first place. And if I somehow stumbled upon you, I would’ve run the other way because you’d terrify me.”
Slowly, he smirks at your honesty.
“I scare you?”
You’d be lying if you claimed the cold, calculating aura around him didn’t.
You’re not sure if he has any super powers like in the movies, but honestly, he wouldn’t need to be able to lift a bus to kill you. The scariest thing about him isn’t how he could end your life in a hundred different ways either way, it’s how he could drag it out and extend your suffering before doing so. Of course, your body and instincts find him scary, but in a way, your mind… doesn’t? Then again, you’re here because your mind wants him to kill you.
“I don’t know.”
“Hm,” is all he says, his eyes falling to the blood bag. “I have to change it. Hold on.”
“Okay,” you mumble, finding it hard to concentrate. Your heart beats so hard it hurts, but at the same time, your breathing is slowing down. Closing your eyes, you feel him move stuff around.
“How are you feeling?” he suddenly asks, but it doesn’t sound like he cares too much.
“Honestly? Terrible,” you admit, keeping your eyes closed.
You keep still when you feel his hands on your arm, but then you hear a little… rip.
“Fuck.”
Curiously, you open your tired eyes, seeing the vampire hold the empty bag up to inspect it.
“This was the last one I had. This brand is fucking terrible quality; how do you make blood bags so weak they rip?”
“You don’t have anything else to collect it in?”
He sighs defeatedly, “No, it needs to be in these kinds of bags so I can store and freeze it properly.”
“Oh. Okay.”
“I’ll have to stock up on them and maybe take more next time.”
You nod slowly and understandingly. That will probably be the last time, then.
About a week and a half later, you find yourself on a bench downtown, your hands in the pockets of your coat to keep them warm. It’s Saturday, and on the other side of the street, a few people are standing in line to be let inside your town’s best version of a nightclub. You’re not certain what exactly brought you here, and you’re sure that if the happy, club-dressed people took the time to observe their surroundings, they’d notice you staring and look at you weirdly in turn.
“Hello?”
Registering the almost rude-sounding voice, you blink as you turn your head. It’s a guy.
“Huh?”
His face looks skeptic, and he’s got his hands in the front pockets of his jeans. He’s not wearing a jacket or coat of any kind over his white t-shirt, so you gather he’s in the middle of a night out. Probably left a bar for a smoke and spotted you.
“I asked you what your name is? Like three times?”
He’s good looking with black hair and dark eyes, but the tone of his voice is very unattractive, and you have no interest in him whatsoever, knowing he isn’t just looking to be your friend.
“Oh. Uh…”
You don’t say it. It’s not that you don’t remember your name or that you’re making a conscious effort to deny him the information, but it’s like your thoughts are at a standstill.
“Beat it.”
You furrow your eyebrows in confusion. His lips didn’t move.
“And who are you?” he asks, irritation dripping from his words, and this time, his lips are moving. However, his eyes are not on you but on something behind you.
Just as you’re about to turn around, the man in front of you leaves. His steps are quick, his mission abandoned.
“What are you doing here?”
Of course. It clicks the moment the vampire comes into view, and you’re surprised you didn’t immediately recognize his deep voice. He’s wearing that same leather jacket and some black pants, an outfit still very much inappropriate for winter. Though, something about him feels… wilder, almost a little uncontained? You can’t put your finger on what exactly.
“Uh, people-watching,” you inform as he rounds the bench, sitting down next to you.
Because he’s beautiful like no other, you glance discreetly at his face. He’s so masculine, but in certain lights, you glimpse something softer. You particularly like his nose and its rounded tip. It gives him such an attractive profile, you think, gaze traveling over his features and lingering on his dark eyelashes.
“Why? Isn’t it cold as hell for you?”
“Uhm, I don’t know? And I guess?”
From looking straight ahead, he turns his head, redirecting his full attention to you. The light from the closest street lamp reflects in his dark eyes.
“Is there any truth to that whole ‘vampires are designed to lure humans in’ thing?”
He grins. “I lure you in?”
“You’re more intimidating than you are attractive, actually,” you admit earnestly, wincing a little on the inside at how it came out a bit like an insult. He’s definitely attractive, and maybe the fact that he is so attractive is part of why he’s also so intimidating. “I’m just wondering what you looked like before.”
“I’ve always looked like this,” he explains casually, once again peering out over the cold, dark street. “Vampirism doesn’t change anything besides, like, skin impurities and conditions. I would’ve shown you a picture, but there were no cameras around when I was human,” he smiles cheekily.
“Anyway, you should go home. It’s really cold and not really safe at this time either,” he encourages.
You nod, realizing that he wants to protect his backup supply. “Yeah.”
“Good. I’ll see you next week.”
“Mhm.”
You expect him to get up and leave, confused when five seconds pass and he hasn’t moved. The feeling seems to be mutual because he turns his head to look at you again.
“So, are you leaving or not?”
“I am.”
“Then what are you waiting for?”
You look away, clearing your throat a bit awkwardly and realizing that you might just have to tell him, since he doesn’t seem to be leaving before you. “I don’t think I… can. I walked here, but I think I overestimated myself.”
The vampire looks you over briefly, probably just to be sure, but you both know that your main health concerns aren’t visible.
“Where do you live?”
“Oh, not that far. Like less than a ten minute walk, but I…”
“What’s your address?”
“124 Conch Street.”
“Stand up.”
“What?”
“Stand up.”
Puzzled, you follow his instructions and slowly rise to your feet. Though you’ve been sitting stranded on the bench for almost two hours, the dizziness returns the moment you stand.
But the vampire isn’t satisfied. “Get up on the bench and undo your coat up to your waist.”
This time, you give him a skeptic look.
“Just do as I say,” he holds his hand out for you.
Slowly and still confused, you take it, and with his aid, you step up onto the bench.
To your surprise, he lets go, and before you know it, he’s unzipped your coat from the bottom up to your waist, positioned himself in front of you, and grabbed your thighs. Instinctively, you place your arms around his neck as he hoists you onto his back and starts walking.
“What are you doing?” you breathe quietly.
“Taking you home in an inconspicuous way. It looks like we’re a couple, does it not?”
“Definitely an odd and unexpected couple if so, but I guess?”
“You’re a pretty girl, you know?”
Your lungs hold your breath for an extra second before slowly releasing it, and then you hum, but it’s only to actually provide him with an answer. You definitely don’t think you’re anywhere near pretty enough for someone like him. He doesn’t call you out on your vague answer.
You’re not the most common sight, couple or not, and people still watch you as you pass them. Unsure as to how to meet their curious gazes, you don’t; turning your head forward instead. When you’re so close, you inevitably catch his scent, only to find that he doesn’t smell like a whole lot. There are traces of soap, laundry detergent, and maybe a hint of cologne, but not much else. No lingering smell of sweat or anything like that.
He walks you through the city and past the alleyway where you first found him. It’s quiet, except for the muted sound of his footsteps as well as those of a man a bit ahead, evidently hurrying to get home and away from the cold.
“Are there more vampires here?” you wonder, looking around the silent street and thinking it might not be as empty as it seems.
“Yes,” he confirms casually.
It has your brain working, and the surroundings reminding you of why you’re with him in the first place.
“How are you going to kill me?”
If he’s caught off guard by your straightforward question, he does a good job of not showing it.
“I don’t know.”
“Okay. But I’d rather not bleed out,” you say, body aching at the mere thought. Although you’re certain there are much worse ways to go, you really don’t like the feeling of severe blood loss.
“It’s the easiest way though,” he explains. “It’s not as easy to drain a body without a heartbeat to move the blood around.”
“Are you familiar with livestock?” you ask, thinking back to what your three-year-older cousin once told you as you biked past a field of cows one summer when you were ten. “You can kill the animal and then ‘deblood’ them by hanging the body upside down and cutting their throat. The blood will drain easily. Do you have a bathtub?”
“You’re… a person though, still,” he says, and though he doesn’t falter in his steps, you can tell your words don’t sit quite right with him. “There’s no dignity in an ending like that. And don’t you care what happens to your body?”
To say you’re surprised is an understatement. You thought vampires were all bloodthirsty monsters, only biding their time until they can rip someone new apart. The messier, the better. The vampire, who’s carrying you on his back, made no effort to appear nice either. At least not at first. Now, you don’t even know.
You shrug slightly. You’re not a spiritual person, and you’ve never believed in something like an afterlife. “It’s just meat and bones. I won’t be here anymore, and no one’s going to be looking for me, anyway. There’s no use in keeping things ‘pretty.’”
He doesn’t say anything in turn, and you wonder how much about you he knows. How much about your life he realizes.
The vampire’s smooth movement lulls you further into relaxation, and you lean your head partly against your own arm, partly against him. He doesn’t say anything.
Way sooner than if you would’ve walked with your own two legs—if you would’ve made it home at all—he puts you down in front of your apartment complex. You search your pockets, locating your keys in the left one.
“Going home now? Since you can’t enter without permission,” you joke tiredly, unlocking the front entrance with the key fob.
The vampire raises his eyebrows. “I might as well make sure you don’t somehow trip and spill all my blood on the way to your apartment,” he smirks, grabbing the door and opening it wide without breaking eye contact. “And you shouldn’t believe everything you see or read.”
The smile he’s wearing as he makes a show out of stepping inside the building is another chilling one. You can’t say that you expected him to hit an invisible wall or anything, but for some reason, it would’ve almost felt… nice if that were the case. Considering your situation, you’re not sure why.
The elevator is empty and waiting for you, and after getting inside, you press the button for floor two, the vampire coming to stand beside you.
“Is there anything that is true regarding vampires?” you ask quietly as if someone would hear you inside the elevator.
“Besides the fact that we drink blood?”
“Yeah. Are you like, immortal and stuff? Super old?”
He chuckles. “Kinda. I don’t think anything’s truly immortal, but we do have a longer life span, yes.”
“What about senses? Can you hear my heart beat right now?”
“Yes. It sounds like it’s about to burst through your chest.”
Yeah, because it’s strained to hell and back, trying to keep you alive even in the condition you’re in.
“And super speed, super strength and all that?”
“Mhm, although we’re not so fast we go blurry. Are you impressed?”
“I don’t know? What do you use it for? I can’t think of even one thing having those powers would improve in my life.”
“Tough crowd,” he chuckles, avoiding your question as he follows you out of the elevator.
You understand that being physically superior is helpful when you’re a literal predator, and yeah, maybe being able to walk a tiny bit faster to work every morning would’ve saved you some time, but what else? Oh, yeah, one time, you had to throw away a jar of pickles because you simply could not get it open. Being stronger would’ve definitely helped you then.
Reaching your door, you’re quick to unlock it and pull it open to head inside, ignoring the two envelopes lying on the floor in your hallway. The vampire stays at the door, watching as you start to remove your coat two or so steps away from him.
“Are those… bruises?”
Turning your head as you make your way to the wardrobe to put the coat away, you see the vampire looking almost worried. You look down at the skin on your arms.
“Yeah.”
“Let me look at them,” he urges, holding his hand out.
“Why? They come with anemia; why does it matter?”
“Still, I want to see. Come over here.”
Despite looking oddly insistent, he makes no effort to actually enter your apartment.
Your eyes widen as you look at him. “You really can’t come inside without an invitation, can you?”
He sighs exasperatedly. “Technically, no, I can’t step inside unless you give me permission.”
It makes you laugh a little in wonder. “Wow.”
He rolls his eyes, but you can tell it amuses him a little too.
“Listen, I’ll be fine until we meet again and if the bruises are still there, you can look at them then. I kinda don’t actually want to invite you in, is that rude of me?”
“No, it’s not. Very reasonable, actually.”
“Okay, then I’ll see you Friday?”
He nods politely and steps back. “See you.”
You watch him leave, his footsteps sounding through the hall as you bend down to pick up the envelopes you’ve been ignoring for days. They’re probably bills, and you’ll be dead soon, so who really cares if you pay them or not?
Mindlessly, you approach the door to close it, your focus on the white paper in your hands. You put your finger under the fold to rip the first envelope open, wincing when the paper cuts through your skin instead.
Holding your finger up, you inspect the damage and the little bead of red that’s forming next to the invisible cut. You look at it, furrowing your eyebrows at how you feel like something’s… missing? A moment later, you realize what it is, and your body freezes.
The footsteps have stopped.
It dawns on you, as you look at the blood, what the vampire was actually doing tonight and why he looked wilder than usual. Early Saturday night, lurking around the clubs until he found you and had to abandon his plans.
He was hunting.
Your eyes widen and your heart stops as you hear it. One footstep. Then another. And another. They’re speeding up, and soon enough running toward you.
Before you’ve had a chance to shut the door, it flies wide open. Panicked, you move farther into the apartment, but you fall backward and by pure instinct, crawl back as quickly as you can.
Despite claiming that he couldn’t enter without your permission, the vampire falls to his knees, then all fours, to reach you. You’ve never seen anything as scary as the bloodthirsty creature grasping the air, trying to get you. He moves so quickly, and his hand is just about to grab your foot when it’s like… he’s held back by something.
You're breathing heavily, trying to understand what’s happening. Why doesn’t he just move another three centimeters? He licks his lips in frustration, exposing fangs that are definitely longer than you remember. Meeting his eyes, they’re cold like never before, and he exhales angrily. He’s still reaching for you, and frozen in your spot, you look over at him, briefly wondering if his feet got stuck or something when it hits you.
He can’t step inside.
You sit there, your feet mere centimeters from his grasping hand when there’s a sound down the hall, and in a split second, the vampire seems to snap out of it. He looks at you, appearing to realize what he’s doing and somehow gaining control over himself. Looking around, he gets up, and he leaves. Quickly and without a word.
Wide-eyed and with your heart beating painfully, you remain on the floor, wondering what the hell just happened. Even when his footsteps are long gone, you’re too afraid to get up and close the door, worried that he’ll return and be able to reach you.
You’d like a very serious word with whoever established the ‘no entering without permission’ rule but also decided that the vampires could cheat it by keeping their feet outside and crawling inside.
You sleep a little uneasy the following nights, thinking a lot. Of course, your thoughts are mostly occupied by those cold, black eyes, thirsty for your blood.
<previous | next> happy halloween <3<3
#jungkook#bts#jungkook fluff#jungkook angst#jungkook fanfic#jungkook x reader#jungkook x you#jungkook x y/n#jungkook au#bts fanfic#bts ff#jungkook ff#jungkook imagines#jungkook scenario#jungkook series#bts jungkook#btswritersclub#bts angst#bts fluff#bts x you#bts x reader#bts x y/n#bts x fem!reader#bangtan#bangtan sonyeondan#jeongguk#vampire!jungkook#jungkook vampire#vampire bts#vampire jungkook
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The rose of true love🌹
🌹 (Astrology LOVE Observations)🌹
𝐓𝐚𝐥𝐞 𝐚𝐬 𝐨𝐥𝐝 𝐚𝐬 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞
𝐒𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐬 𝐨𝐥𝐝 𝐚𝐬 𝐫𝐡𝐲𝐦𝐞
🌹 - Harsh aspects to your 7th house ruler doesn't mean that you gonna have a bad spouse or a bad marriage, rather these aspects gonna reflect on their negative side, everyone has a negative side and the harsh aspects can tell you about your spouse's ones
🌹 - Cardinal Signs in the 7th house (Aries, Cancer, Libra, Capricorn) can be easily indecisive when they're in love, they can have that "Am I in love or I dreaming" kind of feeling
🌹 - I truly believe Pluto in the 7th house is a game changer, because it not only brings transformation in the relationship but also power and control
🌹 - Venus in the 12th house can have the same influence in relationships as Saturn in the 7th house, meeting lovers later in life, but is for your own good
🌹 - If you have Jupiter in the 11th house and you're attracted to men, this indicator can indicate marrying one or your friends (friends to lovers)
🌹 - if you are attracted to women and you have Venus in the 5th house, this indicator can mean that you'll gonna marry or end up in a relationship with someone who really enjoys life and priorities fun over anything
🌹 - 7th house ruler in the 9th house can indicate meeting your lover in foreign lands/while traveling!
🌹 - 12th house ruler in the 7th house can indicate meeting your lover in your karmic path, this can be an karmic indicator, your spouse can be a spiritual person/spirituality lover
�� - Sagittarius in the 7th house/Venus in Sagittarius/Venus in the 9th house, you know those mixed marriages where the couple comes from 2 different ethnicities/nationalities, these placements can have the same vibe
🌹 - POF (Part of Fortune) in the 5th/7th or 8th house can indicate luck in love relationships, same can happen if you have Vertex in the same houses which I think is more common than POF
🌹 - Cancer/Taurus/Pisces/Scorpio over the 5th house cusp can be a bit shy/emotional when they make the first contact at a date
🌹 - Something I do appreciate about Mercury/Gemini in the 7th house is that, they adore to communicate with their partners about everything, like there are no secrets here and your love sign can be calling eachother in cute nicknames
🌹 - Sometimes Sun or Leo in the 7th house can indicate that love relationships gonna play a big role in your life, and also focusing a lot on them during this life time
🌹 - Venus aspecting Neptune natives are very creative when they're in love, is like creativity hits them for them moment to create something for the person they love, for example a love letter/love gift/maybe a plushie/toy maybe some sweets
🌹 - Earth Moons/Earth Venuses have such pure love in them, they're like "I made this thing for you, I know you'll like it"… I definitely see acts of service being their love language
🌹 - Venus or Juno in Aquarius can indicate meeting your lover in online, as well as having the 7th house ruler in the 11th house
🌹 - 7th house ruler in the 2nd house can indicate spending a lot of 🤑🤑🫰🏼🫰🏼 money on your partners/lovers like spoiling them you know that phrase "Habibi come to Dubai"
🌹 - If you have Jupiter in Virgo/6th house or at 6°, 18° degrees 😭 this placement is so cute for your husband, he's gonna be so supportive of you and your relationship
🌹 - Juno in Leo/Juno at 5°, 17°, 29° degrees can indicate a very influential spouse/marriage, that also comes with their own benefits
🌹- Because Moon represents touching/feeling the touch/ A prominent moon in your chart can make you to crave physical touch especially in relationships
🌹 - Gemini Venus/Venus in the 3rd house or Venus at 3°, 15°, 27° degrees, i love these placements lol, I know your spouse (woman or man doesn't matter) has the best jokes ever!! You gonna crack at eachother and laugh all day long
🌹- Aries Juno/Venus/Mars can get easily jealous or possesive, like those people who want to hold your hand 24/7, yes they are, and like if you want to relax your hand for a bit they gonna say "Why did you took your hand away?" ...Because I don't my hand to fall off, thank you ..
🌹- Taurus/Scorpio/Capricorn/Cancer in the 4th house really need that security love check, like always make sure you tell them how much you love them and how much they mean to you
🌹 - Venus in the 8th house and Venus in Scorpio need a lot of reassurance in love, which is not a bad thing, they just wanna make sure you're theirs because they tend to stress a lot about it
🌹 - You know those people who wake you up with kisses?? I just know they gotta have a Pisces or Cancer Venus like, is in their blood to kiss you and stare into your eyes like you're Monalisa or something
🌹 - Libra/Leo/Capricorn/Aquarius Moons, in general people tend to feel in love with your looks and your personality as a whole is wonderful
🌹 - You know those girls who fantasize about getting a mafia boss husband, let me tell you their 10th house has either Pluto/Neptune or Saturn in it (365 days the movie doesn't compare to what these natives desire for a husband)
🌹 - Taurus and 2nd house Venus/Taurus Moons will love to hug you 24/7 they're having a really intense physical love language
🌹 - Capricorn Jupiter/10th house Jupiter gives daddy vibes, if you have this placement, girl you gonna have your own Batman in your house
🌹 - Don't ask my why or from where I know but Sagittarius Jupiter or Jupiter in the 9th house husbands will love to teach you, as like they're the teacher and you're their student, they gonna have more experience
🌹 - Lilith (h12) aspecting the Moon (all aspects) makes the native have to an untamed energy, like they are some anacondas ready to catch their prey
🌹 - Having Venus/Moon - Saturn aspects makes you to the see the good & bad traits and qualities in people, that's what makes them so special, they can see through you and still love you the most (Works better in harsh aspects)
🌹 - Mercury conjuncting Mars or having those planets in the same sign can indicate flirting quite a lot, get ready for the flirt list to be dropped
🌹 - Not gonna lie you at all guys, Venus and Mars aspects (all aspects) or having the those planets in the same sign makes the native to have that love - fight with their partners, and i don't mean "fight" in a bad way is like 1 minute they're arguing the next one they're being lovely with eachother...
🌹 - South Node in the 7th house or Libra can indicate you relied upon a lots of relationships in your past life, like they were your comfort
🌹 - Uranus in the 2nd/5th/7th houses can have quite unique experiences when it comes to their love relationships (experiences they'll never forget for sure)
♥️ Do you guys remember my love posts each one being resembled with a Disney Princess?? I thought that type of post is gonna have a return! And I chose Belle from Beauty and the Beast for this comeback, enjoy♥️ Harmoonix
#astrology#astro observations#birth chart#astro notes#astrology observations#placements#astro community#horoscope#ascendant#venus#astroblog#astroseek#astrocom#astro combinations#astro note
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MISC SMUT PROMPTS
1. “no underwear? did you plan this?”
2. “are you just going to watch?”
3. “but the cameras” - “they can’t see us from this angle, if you can stay still”
4. “you’re such a needy girl”
5. “you just keep doing what you’re doing”
6. “you’re fucking soaked”
7. “you make me so wet”
8. “can i ask you for something?”
9. “please don’t think i’m weird for this…”
10. “does that turn you on?”
11. “i need your fingers”
12. “say/do it like you mean it”
13. “scream my name while you cum”
14. “call me mommy”
15. “touch yourself, i want to watch”
16. “on your knees”
17. “turn around”
18. “bend over”
19. “spread your legs”
20. “open wider”
21. “sit on my thigh/face/etc”
22. “lift your leg”
23. “i’m bored, let’s play”
24. “i can see you staring at my tits/thigh/ass”
25. “harder”
26. “it’s my turn now”
27. “i didn’t mean to call you that, i’m sorry” - “no! don’t apologize, i liked it…”
28. “spank me”
29. “choke me”
30. “bite me”
31. “you can practice on me”
32. “this is a one time thing”
33. “i thought you said it was a one time thing?”
34. “we can’t do this”
35. “i ordered us something”
36. “that looks too big”
37. “you bought a vibrator?”
38. “sit here”
39. “while standing?”
40. “give me your hand”
41. “i’m/it’s all over your chin”
42. “do you think about me when you touch yourself?”
43. “why are you being so shy? it’s not like i haven’t already seen all of you”
44. “you’re so spoiled”
45. “can we use a toy?”
46. “can i use a toy on you?”
47. “just like that”
48. “nobody can know about this, okay?”
49. “how are you so close already?”
50. “i can see how wet you are through your shorts”
51. “can you be quick?”
52. “please, i’ll finish fast”
53. “use your mouth”
54. “why do you get so shy when i use that word?”
55. “where do you want me to touch you?” - “down there…” - “you have to say the word”
56. “on the counter/table/etc?”
57. “have you seen the things the the fans write about you and *other member*?”
58. “pull my hair”
59. “open your mouth”
60. “you’re such a messy girl”
61. “take off your underwear” - “but, there’s other people here” - “they won’t see you, there’s an entire table here”
62. “open your eyes”
63. “look at me while you cum”
64. “do you want me to use my fingers/mouth?”
65. “do you want to join me?”
66. “how bad do you want it?”
67. “it’s too late for this” - “you don’t have to do anything, just stay laying down”
68. “can you stay quiet if i take this call?”
69. “we could get kicked out for this”
70. “don’t make me say it, you know what i want”
71. “you’re so annoying” - “would i still be annoying eating you out?”
72. “put your leg over my shoulder”
73. “there’s no one else here, be louder”
74. “i’m going to fuck you against the windows, i want everyone to see how good you are for me”
75. “stop being gentle”
76. “you can’t leave marks”
77. “we are not doing this standing, there’s a bed right there”
78. “do you like it when i spank you?”
79. “use my thigh”
80. “if you hate me so much, why are you letting me do this?”
81. “you’re really telling me to stop while both of your hands are in my shirt?”
82. “i still hate you”
83. “this is just sex, no strings”
84. “fuck you” - “well, that’s what we’re doing isn’t it?”
85. "you can take it like a good girl, right?"
86. “that was a nice way to wake up"
87. “why don't you make it up to me?"
#smut prompts#kink prompts#writing prompts#prompt#prompts#fic prompt#prompt list#story prompt#story prompts#writing prompt#dialogue prompt#smut#gg smut#smut fanfiction#fanfic smut#fanfic#fanfiction
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GENERAL DATING HEADCANONS
CHARACTERS: Eyeless Jack, Jeff the Killer, Gender Neutral Reader
Request. I wasn't sure if you meant Jack x Jeff. I stuck to separate SFW and NSFW headcanons. But you can send another ask to clarify! :)
CW: Explicit Sexual Content, But Also Romantic Fluffy Stuff, Blood, Self-Harm, Cannibalism, Biting, Not Graphic
NSFW UNDER CUT! MINORS DNI!
EYELESS JACK
SFW:
Jack doesn't feel as much empathy or sympathy as other people. It definitely takes a long time for him to warm up to you, let alone get comfortable enough to date you.
Jack is an outlier in the mansion. He likes being alone, doing his own thing. Plus, a lot of people don't like his bluntness and sarcasm.
His tar spills faster when he's upset, but it's pretty much gone when he's happy. That's why he hardly cries tar around you.
He has a hard time showing affection through his words, but you know he loves you. Sometimes, he just pops up and holds your hand, or wraps his arms around you.
When you're hurt, he tends to your wounds, cooks you warm meals, and stays by your side. It's a mutual silence where you're just enjoying each others' presence.
Jack is a bookworm. You spot the books he reads and you check them out. Jack is over the moon when you randomly reference his favourite book. "Did you really read that for me?"
Surprisingly, Jack talks a lot. He rants about his interests in gardening and science.
Speaking of gardening, he'll most definitely grow your favourite flowers for you. He'd give you handmade bouquets and flower crowns, as well as perfumes and scented candles.
Jack isn't against light–hearted teasing. He says flirty things just to catch you off guard since you aren't used to it. Most of these "flirty things" are phrases he heard from TV shows.
He does try to get you to try kidneys. If you refuse it because it's raw, he'll cook it for you. If you refuse it because it's gross, he'll shrug a shoulder and eat it himself.
NSFW:
Jack is gentle with you. He knows how much smaller you are in comparison, so he makes sure he doesn't bruise you.
If you allow it, he'll bite you enough to draw blood, but nothing more.
His ears are sensitive! Licking or biting them gets him all worked up.
Jack has three tongues that overlap in his mouth, meaning he's a fucking demon with oral sex. His tongues squirm inside of you, hitting all the right spots. He could eat you out for hours before substituting his tongues for his cock.
When he sees you're close, he only fucks you harder.
Jack's cock doesn't fit inside you all the way. Your senses leave you, and you're a drooling, blubbering mess as he rams into your entrance.
After you're done, he'll clean up any blood that spilled and kiss your bite marks. While cuddling, he asks you what you want to eat. He'll cook anything for you.
JEFF THE KILLER
SFW:
Jeff lives in the mansion and has been living there since he was 17. Before that, he lived with a blind old woman who thought he was her grandson.
Dating him means you're going to have to get used to his angry outbursts until he learns how to control them better. He tends to lash out and then apologise later. You're sure with enough patience, things might get better. Especially because you know he's trying his best.
He loves emo music. In fact, he collects merchandise from the concerts he sneaks into. At night, you get to cuddle with Jeff while some emo song blasts on his speaker.
He also plays the electric guitar and would love to teach you how to play. And if you already know how to play, he'll get really excited about duetting with you.
Jeff has had self-esteem issues since the incident. He tries everything to make himself "beautiful", taking extensive care of his skin, hair and clothes.
He believes the scar makes him look better, maybe because it distracts from other parts of his face he's insecure about. He refreshes his cut every month.
You have to remind him that he's beautiful just the way he is. There are nights where you argue over it, but you try everything you can to help him overcome his insecurities — or at least accept his flaws.
He has a knife collection. He paints the handles of his knives all different colours. Some days, you could sit and talk with Jeff while you paint knife handles together.
"Can I test the sharpness on you?" "What?" "...I'm joking."
Jeff isn't a good cook. He never put time into learning how to cook. You, knowing he has to learn at some point, convince him you're on a "cooking date" whenever you want to teach him how to make a meal.
NSFW:
I already have a NSFW post for Jeff, but these are softer alternatives for when he's in a relationship.
Known fact: Jeff will use his knife during sex. He enjoys grazing it across your skin, smiling at your "cute" reactions.
The tip of the knife scratches your thighs. Your legs twitch as he looks into your eyes with a needy look.
Jeff likes seeing your desperation. He loves it when you grind against him, begging for his cock. He'll keep his hands off you, forcing you to grind helplessly. "Horny little bitch... Yeah, tell me how much you want me."
He fucks you at a rough, unstable rhythm as he tries to reach his peak. When he's in the zone, it's only his orgasm that matters to him.
Jeff mutters profanities under his breath with almost every thrust. It's a mixture of praise and degradation. "Fuck... D–Damn slut... You feel so fucking good..."
For aftercare, he doesn't do much. Just small things like giving you water and cuddling with you in bed. It's simple and it's nice.
!!! i'm very sorry if you meant "jack x jeff"! feel free to let me know in another ask, though!
#requests#jeff the killer#jeff the killer x reader#eyeless jack#eyeless jack x reader#creepypasta smut#jeff the killer smut#eyeless jack smut#creepypasta x reader#creepypasta headcanons#creepypasta x y/n#jeff the killer x you#eyeless jack x you
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Roll for a Feedism Challenge
Feedee Edition!
Roll a d20 to get your challenge for the day
Original poster cute-feedism-things
1. Breakfast stuffing: get a dozen donuts and eat every last one (if it's Krispy Kreme make it 18).
2. Worth the weight: hop on the scale and take a picture of the number. Do it again at the end of the day. Share the results (and impress whoever you share it with)
3. Moisturize Me: get comfy, get naked, and get in touch with your body as you slowly lotion every inch of yourself.
4.Consequences: for every 200 steps you take today you need to eat 1000 calories. Be mindful of how much you're moving your body.
5. Planks: set a timer for 3 minutes and get in plank position. Every time you have to pause the timer for a break is another 500 calories you need to eat today (make it 1000 if you're under 200 pounds).
6. Pizza party: get a large pizza and finish the whole thing (make it 2 if you get thin crust)
7.Low Hanging Fruit: Get on all fours and take a picture. Show someone how low your belly is hanging these days.
8. Self care day: get comfy and surround yourself with your favorite snacks. Relax today and graze while doing all your favorite low effort activities.
9. Probable pounds: Roll 2d4. You need to weigh that much more (in pounds) before you stop eating tonight.
10. Empty calories: get at least 2500 calories from drinks today (you're probably going to want a milkshake or 2).
11. Extra large thighs… I mean fries: treat yourself to your favorite fast food and make sure it's over 5000 calories (it's okay if that means you need to treat yourself for 2 meals, you deserve it)
12. Find your max: count calories and stuff yourself until you physically can't anymore. That's your max. If you've already done this once, make sure to beat your last score.
13. Quiet contemplation: turn off all media and set a timer for 10 minutes. I want you to lay down, get comfy, close your eyes and just spend this time exploring your body. Has it gotten bigger? Softer? Where do you feel most sensitive?
14. Touch yourself while you stuff yourself: get in touch with your hedonistic side by masturbating while you eat. Don't cum until you've had at least 2000 calories.
15. The best shape you'll ever be in: do as many situps or pushups (your choice) as you can. Subtract that number from 20 and then multiply by 500. That's your calorie goal for today (if it's a negative, multiply by -1 and add 2000 calories)
16.Just Desserts: in addition to your normal meals today, you're going to eat at least 2500 calories of desserts.
17. Cupcake game: find your favorite piece of feedist porn/fic/etc. Every time you start getting turned on, eat a cupcake. No touching yourself until you've finished all of them. (This works best with longer stories/videos)
18.This still fits: put on your tightest clothes that still “fit” (you can actually get them on your body) and take a picture from whatever angle makes you look fattest. Post it if you feel comfy or share with someone privately.
19. It's about the process: cook your favorite recipe and eat the whole thing for one meal. The dishes can be future-you’s problem. Just enjoy yourself for now.
20. Double trouble: Roll 2 more times and do both!
Let the games begin
Wanna play a game 😋
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apple cider - alessia russo
alessia russo x reader
description: in which you and alessia don't like each other that much, but you both really do
warnings: this was a looooonnnnnggggggg one! swearing and honestly makes no sense but here we go, toone!reader
a/n: based on a BANGER OF COURSE, please enjoy this omg i love this song i can't, it is mandatory that you listen to it and associate alessia with it forever
⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆
'we both like apple cider, but your hair be smelling like fruit punch'
it wasn't really ideal to be in love with your older sister’s best friend, but you were, and you have been for the majority of your lifetime.
your sister, ella, has always been extremely close to you, you both had different interests, sure, but she always kept you in the loop of her life as did you.
you were very much the best of friends, the way both of you liked it. and by association of being your sister’s biggest fan, alessia was added into the equation.
you weren't in the football scene, you were more into the academic side of things.
you tried football, liked it for about two minutes and then quickly realised you preferred to watch it, especially when ella and alessia were playing.
you instead went to university and ultimately became an occupational therapist.
—
'and i don’t even like you that much, wait, i do, fuck'
back when you were 16 and alessia and ella were 17, things began to shift. it was common to see you at a game if ella was playing, she always loved to have you there even if she wouldn't admit it all the time.
“there she is! my darling sister finally took her nose out of the books” ella teases, pinching your cheek as you stood at the fence of the pitch at the england u17 team. you were bundled up in the cold in one of ella’s puffers that you lovingly stole, though thankfully, she didn't notice"
“ella, get off man!” you groan with a laugh, letting ella pull you into a hug in greeting, you look over ella's shoulder and spot alessia chatting with lotte.
alessia smiles at you through the conversation, waving at you shyly, smiling wider when you returned a sly wave.
when ella releases you, alessia runs over with her charming smile and her blonde ponytail swaying behind her. you didn't even realise you were beginning to go red.
“hey, little toone” alessia grins, pulling you into a sweet hug, you began to wonder how she could smell so good after 90 minutes of running around. you couldn't help but feel dizzy.
“i have my own name, you know?” you roll your eyes with a giggle, alessia’s hands run down your arms as she releases you from the hug, you have to remind yourself that it means nothing. (you’re silly)
“i know you do, (y/n/n), just teasing” she squeezes your forearm with a wink before she lets go of you completely. “oi, we’re good at that” ella laughs, bumping shoulders with alessia, the blonde letting out a chuckle of her own.
“enjoy the game?” alessia asks, “yeah! great goal, less” you smile, alessia returns it, “you saw? i knew you were coming so i had to impress you” alessia flirts, you clear your throat, letting out a nervous giggle, feeling warm from alessia’s words.
ella laughs, “look at you all red” ella teases, making kissy faces at you, you flip her off and alessia laughs. “don’t tease her, tooney” alessia nudges her again, smiling at you in a way that made your heart flutter. “yeah, tooney, fuck off” you mock, ella slaps the back of your head, scolding you to respect your elders.
and that’s how it always was, you and alessia, mainly alessia flirting yet doing nothing about it. you both had so much in common that everytime she came over to your’s and ella’s house.
it would be like you invited her over, as every conversation was you and alessia getting excited over whatever you were talking about. ella loved that the two of you had a friendship, but it never really came to her that the two of you had a thing for each other.
—
you lived in london while your sister lived in manchester along with alessia when they both played for united. you came back frequently while you were in uni to see your sister. and only your sister (you're a really bad liar).
you sat on the sidelines while the girls warmed up, your eyes were focused on your sister until they drifted to her passing partner. alessia just exuded this aura you couldn't distract yourself from.
she's gorgeous and you thought about her constantly and it didn't help that she flirted with you any chance that she got.
she spots you staring and she can't help but smirk. she looks down for a moment, catching her lip in between her teeth before she looks up again, letting it go with a cheeky smile now replacing her features.
alessia nods her head toward you so ella would turn around. ella brightened up when she saw you, though, looked perplexed for a split second when she saw your flustered expression but quickly shook it off.
she waved exaggeratingly and you both giggled when you returned one with just as much enthusiasm, ella smiled when you turned to show her your ‘toone’ jersey, holding up one finger to indicate she needed to play well.
alessia laughs when you turn back to the front, looking between you and ella with a bright smile. she loved your relationship and reminded you both constantly.
she understood how much ella meant to you and vice versa, much like her relationship with her brothers. that’s why she was a little nervous showing any ounce of attraction towards you.
ella and alessia continue their passing drills, though the blonde of the pair seemed increasingly distracted. each time she passed the ball back to ella, she would glance at you, and she would be pleasantly surprised to see your eyes already trained on her.
it was part of the reason she couldn’t look away, and it was a point in her mind to remember, a moment that you showed some interest back.
after the game, ella came bounding over to you in a bone crushing hug, you haven't seen her for a little over 2 months.
“oh, hello!” you wheeze out, “you need to come over more, it's ridiculous!” ella pulls back from the hug as she scolds you, though pulls you back into the hug after you laughed at her.
“i barely see ya!” she exaggerates, giving your cheek a sloppy kiss that made you both laugh, “el, yes you do!” you defend, though ella wasn’t having any of it.
“very good game, ella” you say as you step apart, “did you just tell me i played well?” her hand clutches her chest, gasping mockingly, you shake your head at her amusingly, flicking her forehead.
“i take it back, you were shit” you joke, wincing when she slapped your arm harshly, and that was when little miss charming alessia came over right on time.
“hey, no hitting” alessia scolds ella, giving her a light shove away from you. “hello, miss london” alessia says cheekily, pulling you into a warm hug that was definitely a second too long.
“you just hit me” ella mutters, you and alessia ignore it. you laugh at the nickname, alessia started calling you that ever since you moved to london for uni.
“hello, miss manchester” you mock, her hand sits on your hip for a moment when she pulled away, “now, tooney, we don’t hit our sisters, we love our sisters” alessia ridicules, winking at you before turning back to ella, arms crossed over her chest.
“less, you should have heard what she said to me!” ella gawks, “i was joking!” you exclaim, “right, (y/n/n), what did you say?” alessia attempts, hitting ella when she was about to answer for you.
“i made a joke that she was shit” you huff, your own arms crossing over your chest, “tooney, she's not wrong” alessia jokes, though ella does it find it funny.
she gasps at the words before she shoves alessia towards you, you manage to hold her steady before she fell, both of your hands land on her hips as you catch her. alessia’s body slots against your own, her back pressed to your front, feeling oddly familiar.
you can hear alessia’s breath catch in her throat when one of your fingers slightly grazes her skin from where her shirt had ridden up. “my god, you’re both perfect for each other” ella points at both of you huffing in frustration before looking right at you.
“i'm getting changed, we’re going to dinner, and then you're going home” she doesn't even let you respond before she marches off. ella doesn't know how that comment of you being perfect for each other ignited a flame in both of your stomachs.
alessia is still against you, you give her a light squeeze to indicate that she moves, “shit, sorry!” she says, cheeks completely red in embarrassment, she shuffles nervously as you look at her.
“um, really good game” you stutter out, alessia grins, “thank you, i’m happy you came, i haven’t seen you in a while” she's back to normal and you're grateful for it.
“it has been a while” you trail off, “so, will you be coming to dinner?” you ask her nervously, alessia’s mouth opens slightly in surprise, “oh” she starts, “would you..be okay with that? isn't this your sister time?” alessia mutters quickly, the nerves rolling over both of you in waves.
“i don’t mind at all, like you said, i haven’t seen you in a while” you smile, cocking your head to the side quickly, alessia chuckles, copying your action with a smile.
“i’ll have to check with your sister” something about that last word stinging, suddenly shedding light on the situation. “i’m sure she wouldn’t mind” you shrug, trying to be cool about it.
alessia smiles at you, moving closer to fix your jersey from your shoulders, there was nothing wrong with it and you both knew it.
“okay then, see you later, babe” she winks, letting out a breath before moving away from you, running towards the change rooms. you stood there frozen after the interaction. you were fucked.
—
the dinner was fun, the three of you joking and conversing while updating each other on what was happening in life. alessia sat across from you, your ankles brushing each other occasionally and your breath would hitch each time it happened.
to say alessia was focused on you wholeheartedly was a complete understatement. this girl was studying your every move with utmost attention, intently listening to your words and making mental notes on what to remember for later.
saying goodbye that night to both girls was bittersweet. separating from your sister was always hard, especially since she wasn't across the hallway anymore. the older girl had to remind you to call her daily for your updates and you agree.
when they walk you to your car and both give you a warm hug, you grew a little heartbroken, this day was so fun and you didn’t want it to end.
—
'call me at midnight, let’s give this thing a try'
you got home at around 10 and began to get ready for bed, until at midnight, your phone began to ring. your eyebrows furrow, who could’ve been calling you this late at night? and there it was, ‘alessia’ lighting up the screen with a facetime call.
you scramble to answer, pointing the phone towards the ceiling. “hello?” alessia’s voice calls out, she’s in bed, hoodie clad and looking more cozy than ever.
“hey, lessi” you say in quite confusion, “hey, love, sorry to be calling so late, i um, missed you” alessia says slowly, her eyes flickering in attempts to spot you on the screen.
you smile shyly, trying not to let out a squeal, “i..missed you too” you breathe out, the smile on alessia’s face was so bright, it took everything in you to stop yourself from screenshotting.
“you missed me, huh? i also missed your face if that’s anything to you?” she says cheekily, you laugh, propping up the phone in your bathroom, clearly about to do skincare of somesort.
“oh my god, you’re so cute” alessia coos, pulling the screen closer to her to get a better look at you. “stop it” you groan, covering your face up in embarrassment.
“for now” she winks, propping herself up on her hand, watching you with blown out pupils as you move around the bathroom getting unready. the call was so natural and weirdly felt so comfortable. you’ve never called like this before but you both internally agreed it was fun.
“so, tell me why you’ve called me, star girl” you chuckle, she groans at the name but her pink cheeks said otherwise. “i um, i don't know if i’ve been reading into this, but i think you also notice the connection between us” she says nervously.
you could tell she was anxious, you were too because you never thought this would happen, especially after years of pining.
“we have a connection” you gasp, she rolls her eyes at you, both of you now in bed on respective sides of the phone.
“okay, im hanging up now” she jokes, “no” you pout exaggeratingly, she can’t help but screenshot and laughs at you reaction of you cursing her out, halfheartedly of course.
“yes, our connection” you wink, alessia nods determinedly, “mhm, and i know this is going to be hard for us so i wanted to know what you thought about it” you both stare at each other for a second before breaking out into little giggles between you two.
“well, i'm not opposed, russo” you flirt, she grins at you, chuckling breathily, “well, neither am i” she flirts back, tucking a loose piece of hair behind her ear.
“what about ella?” you point out the obvious, regretting it seeing the slight wince on alessia’s face. “we..can tell her when we’re ready” she suggests, you think about it for a moment, ultimately nodding, “let’s try this, slowly” you tease, alessia smiles, “slowly” she mocks.
you both stayed on the phone for over 3 hours, no regrets between the both of you, and that’s when the sneaking around started.
—
'you said you liked my hair, so go ahead and touch it'
you and alessia called every night and somehow managed to keep ella out of it. you were surprisingly hiding it really well, even when you and alessia were completely loved up, it was honestly ridiculous how she didn't catch on.
you would come down every other weekend to stay at ella’s, ‘staying on the couch’. the moment ella would go to bed, alessia would drag you to her room, you were her girlfriend after all.
her lips moved languidly with yours, gently squeezing your hips as she pressed you against her bedroom wall, directly next to ella’s.
“i missed you, baby” she hums against your lips, rushing to press them onto yours again. you break away for a moment, “i missed you too, my love” you breathe out, she smiles against you, whining against your lips to pull you closer.
she drags you over to the bed, flopping down on top of you as she gives you a tight squeeze. she hovers, looking at you affectionately, “so beautiful” she whispers, dipping to press kisses along your jaw.
she rests her chin on top of your chest, brushing off a stray hair from your forehead, “i think i’m ready to tell her” you whisper to alessia, she smiles at you in surprise, two months of sneaking around potentially coming to a close.
“whenever you’re ready, baby” she says sweetly, leaning up to pull you into another kiss.
—
'you said you liked the jumper i wore, so i always wore it'
you got up earlier to make the two girls breakfast much to the disapproval of alessia. you wear one of her jumpers as you stand at the burner making food, alessia following you shortly after you left her in the bed.
alessia rests her chin on your shoulder with her arms wrapped around your middle tightly, she hums quietly as she swayed you slightly. what you didn’t hear was ella coming into the room, and that’s when alessia gave you a quick kiss on your lips.
“what the fuck was that?” ella screeched, her hand covering her mouth in shock. alessia pulls away from you in shock, a safe distance between the two of you.
“ella” you try though ella shook her head, “you’re fucking my baby sister” ella points at alessia, “ella, please listen to her” alessia pleads.
“no, what the fuck, how long has this been going on for?” ella says sternly, “2 months” you said softly, unable to even look at your sister in the eye. “2 months” she repeats in shock, running her hands over her face in frustration.
alessia looks at you, you look shattered, this was not the way you wanted this to go.
“i’m going for a walk, a 15 minute walk and you two are talking, and we will talk later” alessia pronounces. you nod, nervously glancing at ella, she nods as well, alessia gives you an encouraging smile, closing the door behind her.
you and ella both sit on the couch, “go on then” ella says, clearly agitated. “ella, i was going to tell you, i was literally going to tell you today” you admit, looking at her pleadingly but she just stared at the wall.
“my baby sister is dating my best friend” she breathes out, nodding in acknowledgement.
“ella, i love her, she treats me better than anyone, she’s respectful, she kind, she’s loving and shes so understanding of me, of us, i really do love her” you cry, not even realising you were tearing up, ella looks at you, just staring for a moment.
“you love her?” she says, her eyes softening at your tears, “a lot” you sniff, ella nods, “well don’t let her see you cry, you look ridiculous” she jokes, you let out a wet laugh, holding your arms out for a hug that she was happy to return.
“just think about your best friend being your sister in law” you joke, ella pulls back from the hug, “oh my god, you are so right!” ella laughs, telling you all the ways her and alessia would give you hell but you didn’t care, your sister accepted you.
alessia comes back and you dish up breakfast for everyone, you can't help but give her a tight hug and she knew everything was okay. until the middle of breakfast when ella pronounced, “this doesn’t mean she’ll be wearing your jersey, russo”
—
'it’s really nice to talk to you, it’s really nice to hold your hand'
“hi, baby” alessia smiles breathlessly, pulling you into a tight hug after an england game, she’d just transferred to arsenal. “hi, star girl” you grin, giving her a loving kiss on the other side of the barrier.
“two goals for me, i’m so spoiled” you say cheekily, giggling against alessia’s lips when she pecked them repeatedly, “mhm, just for you, babe” she grins, nuzzling her nose against yours for a moment.
“yuck, move, less or i’ll throw up on ya” ella gags, grinning at you and pulling you into a hug, “don’t defile my sister” ella warns, checking all over your face for ‘injuries’, “you two are definitely sisters” alessia smiles, letting ella tease her.
ella catches sight of something, “what did i say about the russo jersey?” she exclaims, you and alessia freeze, alessia pulls you over the barrier, holding your hand and you both make a run for it while ella chased you.
—
alessia and you now lived in a cozy apartment in london, you had graduated from university and lived a happy life with alessia. ella came over all the time and even though she wouldn’t admit it, she loved your relationship.
she loved how perfect you were for each other, the pure love you had made her so incredibly happy. she’s never seen you so happy and loved up, the same with alessia.
ella trusted alessia wholeheartedly after seeing how much she took care of you. she was so happy to see you two the way you were. though, the teasing would never relent, you and alessia didn’t mind, you were both elated.
'we can talk about how we don't like each other that much'
⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆
you know the drill, pretend its you! ily lotteeee xx
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alessia: my preferred toone
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yourname: oh you are so cute, lessi bear!
↳ alessia: no, YOU'RE so cute baby girl!
↳ yourname: no, YOU'RE so cute baby cakes!
↳ ellatoone: ENOUGH I'M BEGGING, I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE
ellatoone: less, you are so funny because this is not true
↳ alessia: i'm not a liar tooney wooney
↳ ellatoone: all right then, you are never invited over again
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One of my favourite things about Young Royals and its characters is how much it romanticizes being utterly ordinary.
Stories often focus on characters who are exceptionally good at something or who are more ambitious than the average person. Even in the teen shows I’ve watched, these young characters always seemed to have their dream career and dream university figured out at a young age and I could never relate to that because I had none of those things figured out as a teen. It always felt like pushing this narrative that teenagers need to have their entire lives figured out before their brains are even fully developed.
None of the characters in YR seem particularly ambitious and in fact, the main character’s journey is a story of anti-ambition. When he is introduced to Simon, it is precisely Simon’s ordinariness that draws Wille to him. Sure, Simon is a very talented singer, but it’s never indicated within the series that he has dreams of being a pop star. It’s just something he likes to do. Simon is motivated by very ordinary things - he wants to do well in school so he can have better opportunities for himself, he wants to take care of his family, he wants to hang out with his friends and play video games. He’s a dedicated student but not necessarily valedictorian. It’s not his ambition that Wille is drawn to but his integrity and kindness and warmth.
Wille had a chance to be extraordinary - to be Sweden’s first gay king - but being extraordinary has never been Wille’s ambition. Wille’s ultimate goal and dream within the series’ narrative is to be free to make his own decisions and live his life as he pleases. He just wants to kiss his boyfriend and get drunk at parties and live his life one day at a time instead of spending every moment of his life preparing for an inevitable future he doesn’t want. In the end Wille is extraordinary not for his ambition, but for his bravery to reject the expectations thrust upon him and throw himself into the unknown and see where it takes him. Wille had a whole future in front of him as crown prince and future king - he’d never have to work a day in his life and would have people advising his every move - and he rejects that. This lack of ambition is not portrayed as a moral failure, but a necessary step in Wille’s journey to personal self-discovery and fulfillment of his own desires. His desire right now is simple - be free with Simon, but that doesn’t mean his dreams end here forever. He deserves peace and tranquility after all the trauma he’s been through without having to worry about where or who he’s gonna be in a few years. He deserves time to just exist.
None of the characters know where they’re going when they drive away at the end. We as the audience don’t know what careers if any these characters will find themselves in, but that’s also not important to this story. The series is saying you don’t have to have everything figured out when you’re 17 and you don’t have to do something just because your parents think they know what’s best for you and even if you don’t know exactly what you want to do, that doesn’t mean you don’t have the agency to know what you don’t want.
It’s not a moral failing to want the simple things in life or to be ordinary, and I love that Young Royals celebrates that. It shows the beauty in simple moments that feel revolutionary to a person - touching the person you love, forgiving someone and making amends after a hardship, whooping with your friends in a car as you drive into the summer and celebrates them. Ultimately these are the moments that make life worth living.
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