#(i know it's not just silly youtube drama but for the sake of the joke)

[perlukafarinn]

what really gets to me still about james somerton is when he called the author of love, simon straight. she's actually bisexual, and when called out on this, he said he talked about her in the "straight female authors" portion of his video but "never called her straight"

okay, cool. maybe try not to make it so obvious that you don't consider bisexual women to really be a part of the queer community. this kind of mentality is why i still (over a decade after coming to terms with my sexuality) sometimes feel like a fake because is being bisexual really queer enough? love that one of the most prominent queer voices on youtube up until last week was spreading this bullshit as late as 2022

[absolutebl]

This Week In BL

April 2021 Part 5

Being a highly subjective assessment of one tiny corner of the interwebs.

Ongoing Series - Thai

Close Friend Ep 2 (JaFirst) - First is a cat. No actually a cat. It was WEIRD. Cute, but creeping towards beastiality. It reminded me of that strange series out of China (@heretherebedork says Youth in the Breeze). The most amusing thing to me was that the cat used Thai formal linguistic register when of course cats would use informal rude guu mueng with EVERYONE. No cat would use pom. Don’t be ridiculous, Thailand. 

Second Chance Ep 5 - still invested, things progressed for all 3 couples, in one direction or another. They cuties. I love them. Carry on. 

Y-Destiny Ep 5 - the “virgin scoreboard” is gonna make the seme real hard to redeem with this pairing. If they bother. This might be a life lesson episode. What does it remind me of? Oh yes. Kids. *SHUDDER* Point of interest: did you notice Team uses ha with Mon? What a pushy flirt. 

Lovely Writer Ep 10 - honestly I just love it when Poppy shows up in anything, why is he such a delightful screen presence? (Gene’s brother) Sorry, distracted. What happened in this one? Oh, ya know, stuff and things. Family drama. (It is just me or have they been giving us some long ass episodes lately?) Obligatory beach trip activated. (Result = dumb probability mathematics jokes.) Next week it looks like we have Keeping Actor’s Closeted 101. You know the Casting Couch? This is the Casting Closet. 

Fish Upon The Sky Ep 4 - early stage confession, how fun. It’s not unprecedented it just usually means we are in 4 act structure, not 3, which means Fish might go more serious than I thought. Honestly? I’m losing interest mostly because I’ve gone from mild annoyance to active dislike of Pi. Happened to me with Tine too. They better redeem this obtuse tsundere uke soon or he’s not tsundere at all he’s just a jackwit. 

Brothers Ep 13 fin - a kiss and the family finds out about the not-so-brotherly brothers, drama, graduation, THE END. My side-dish happy heart made thumps over Q + delivery boy, I’m sad they got so little screen time. My babies KhunKaow did get a tiny coming out sequence as such. I’m seriously considering doing myself a bootleg of just the KhunKaow plot, but that means I’d have to rewatch the whole darn series and I can’t STAND the idea. Which should give you insight into how not good this show it. Very NOT good. Must we get a season 2? Please stop now, Line. 

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

HIStory 4: Close To You (Taiwan) Ep 7 - Muren is the cutest peanut and anyone who says otherwise can fight me, although they probably have to go through Licheng first. I was NOT invested in these two at the beginning, but as a couple? They own my soul. The other storyline is still the dumpster fire that I can’t decide to roast marshmallows over (knowing they’ll get tinged with eu de trash) or flee from in horror clutching my pearls and my nose. H4 continues to provide the quality psyche torture I’ve come to expect from this franchise. *sarcastic thumbs up*  *** A word on seeing Boxiang show up (side dish from H3:MODC). It was an unexpected pleasure, I loved his pairing (May/December is a winner for me *glares at Method*) but I do think it was a bone from the franchise telling us that we are never getting that spin-off or reboot that people yearn for. However, how AWESOME that Licheng has someone to go to and ask about topping properly. Otherwise he’s sure to have screwed it up. (Pun intended.) 

Papa & Daddy (Tailwan) Ep 1-2 - this came out of nowhere and is ADORABLE. Applies a ton of BL tropes (cheek kiss, his closet, B&W stripes, drag baby around, boop) but what IS it? More slice of gay domesticity than romance. Like 2019′s Kinou Nani Tabeta? or currently airing Close Friend. I enjoy this style, very wholesome, but I’m not sure what to call it. (Bonus points for cutie lesbians.) A bit weird to have a kid with your partner and STILL not be out to your parents. I hope they aren’t going to throw in a break up for dramatic effect. 

My Lascivious Boss (Vietnam) Ep 4 - I’m really enjoying this series. It’s unabashedly queer, although there’s some problematic stuff lurking under the wig. How it ends is gonna dictate if they handled this stylishly. But hot damn the leads ZING on screen together and their crackling prank-flirting is a joy to watch. 

Word of Honor (China) Ep 31-33 - moving into the home stretch. Big rescue and the band is back together (presumably for the final slaughter). Then a death! *this is my shocked face* Did I tear up? Of course I did. 4 act structure is designed for maximum pathos during the final 1/4. Did we all faint from the symbolism of the love token hair stick being gently thrust into Ah Xu’s bun? Sure we did. All that and sill I’m flagging. This is a long-arse show. Save me, Korea, with your iItsy bitsy teenie weenie...

Nobleman Ryu’s Wedding (Korea) Ep 5-6 - I am getting such strong 12th Night vibes from this. Tae Hyung is now brigadier of BL’s historical himbo brigade. (To be deployed whenever you are in need of poetry or a cut sleeve.) This show is all ridiculous charm and I LOVE it. Although, five seconds of Lee Sang is not enough Lee Sang. I had to immediately rewatch Wish You. 

Gossip

Nitiman gave us an actor intro BTS teaser. 

Kang In Soo (AKA Kyang Insoo) posted a cute behind the photo shoot of Nobleman Ryu’s Wedding plus a silly interview with Jang Eui Soo on his YouTube channel (you should subscribe, it’s a fun channel, his fitness regime is both insane and inspiring). 

My Engineer 2 dropped a couch interview with the boys but it feels like one that was filmed a while ago (oh and no subs).  

STARTING SOON: Nitiman, Love Area, Top Secret Together, Be Loved in House, & I Promised You The Moon  

Nitiman (Thai) May 7, One 31. University set, moons, engineering students, enemies to lovers, adapted. - Looks to be a solid 2 Moons knock off, I’m in.

Love Area (Thai) May 8, AIS Play, 10 eps total. Restaurant set, stars Pak Chavitpong (the only good thing about Cupid Coach) and the OST is sung by Jeff Satur (Ingredients). - It’s boys in love revolving around food = my kryptonite, try to stop me from watching this probable trash. 

Top Secret Together (Thai) May 14, Line TV. 5 couples, one IRL (Newyear from I Am Your King), story arcs revolve around secrets.  - I’m getting fatigued by these multi-couple sampler pack dramas, but I’ll try it for Newyear’s sake.  

Be Loved in House: I Do (Taiwan YES!) May 20, Viki. Office set, relationships prohibited at work by a new boss, one of the employees is determined to figure out why. Grumpy/tsundere pairing so loads of drama. - I am so flipping excited for this one. A 4th BL series from Taiwan in less than a year? That’s unprecedented. GO BABY ISLAND GO! 

I Promised You the Moon (Thai) May 27, Line TV. Follow up to I Told Sunset About You with the boys now at university. - I won’t be watching this as I have yet to finish season 1. 

Possibly Gameboys season 2.  - Rumors are all over the place right now on this. 

Next Week Looks Like This: 

Some shows may be listed later than actual air date for International accessibility reasons. 

Upcoming 2021 BL master post here.

Links to watch are provided when possible, ask in a comment if I missed something.

[soyouareandrewdobson]

Marvel’s Dobson: Infinity PTSD

In case you wonder why I personally think Dobson is an idiot, here is one (of many) reason(s): Dobson takes the wrong things way more serious than he should.

 On one hand, he will belittle people e.g. to think about the new Pokemon starters more than about current events in real life…

But then he will also throw fits at something like a silly add slogan by Burger King, calling it sexist crap and that the company should be ashamed of it.

 Belittle lesbian teenagers for not taking “KorraSami” as something serious and progressive as he does…

Or in case of Marvels “Infinity War”, believe that the movies ending would be ptsd inducing.

I am not kidding. What you see here is a tumblr post Dobson made up shortly after he watched Infinity War in May of 2018, making it known that he is scared that the movie could be traumatic for people on a global scale.

Which was laughable back then and is even more so in the year 2021, when we actually go through a global trauma in form of Covid-19. Making me also believe, that Dobson, despite claims of suffering from depression and his own form of PTSD, has absolutely no idea what a trauma really is and that despite all his whining over the years, he must have one of the most privileged and easiest lives on the planet, if he thinks a superhero movie is going to be as traumatizing as certain real world events. At least the way the post is worded implies, that Dobson seriously believes seeing Spiderman and other Marvel heroes bite the dust (so to speak) has the same effect as e.g. witnessing 9/11 play out live or being involved in an actual war.

Don’t get me wrong, I know of the reactions people had at Infinity War and the infamous Snap scene. I myself was in a theater where a bunch of kids started to cry when Starlord died. And I do understand that reaction. Because unlike Dobson, I am not just using my brain to whine about things not pandering to my fetishes.

I know, that the MCU and its characters have grown on people over the years, myself included. So when we as an audience watch the world and characters we care about get destroyed as Thanos does to Knowhere, Gamora and so many more, we have an emotional reaction to it. I myself was not distraught, but genuinely surprised that when Thanos snapped his fingers, as many heroes died as we saw on screen. Sure, knowing the comics and that Infinity War was just part one of a two part Avengers Finale of phase 3, I knew the snap would happen. In fact, I even hoped for it to happen, cause I love badass villain moments and Thanos was a favorite of mine long before the movie. Not because I am a space fascist, but because I enjoy threatening villains and stakes in my stories, unlike certain people.

I just didn’t expect that after all the hype Marvel created for certain heroes over phase 2 and 3, especially Black Panther, they would do something as “radical” and kill as good as 95% of all heroes introduced in phase 2 and 3 off. Wakanda forever? Not according to this movie.

But I digress. Point is, I will give Dobson the following: Yes, the movie’s ending has obviously caused people to have a sad emotional reaction to it, because at the end of the day, we will react with sadness when we see someone we care about die. But guess what: So have many other movies over the course of cinematic history.

 Do I really need to remind people (and by people I mean braindead idiots) of stuff like Jack dying at the end of Titanic and watching the ship sink, Mufasa being thrown off a cliff, that one horse from Never Ending Story in the swamp, certain scenes of “Who framed Roger Rabbit”, that scene of the dog put down in “Marley and &Me” and so on? You know, stuff most of us remember as having watched in our childhood only for us as adults to joke how this shit traumatized us?

Okay, it may have at least to some degree in so far as that we remember those movies in parts because of those scenes. I think there have been a few kids not wanting to go into the water to swim for quite some time after watching Jaws. But guess what: Most people get over stuff like that, because somewhere down the line they realize it is just a movie or that those sad/scary parts are actually in their own way “fun”/good and helped us appreciate the story we watched even more. And all Infinity War is, is just another movie in a long line of such flics, while also being the culmination of a decade long multipart movie project by Disney to get the most profits out of superhero movies possible.

Furthermore, I doubt there is or ever was going to be everlasting damage, seeing how “Endgame” was going to happen anyway and has been out for almost two years. Meaning all the “drama” of Infinity War in 2018? Dealt with. All the people that turned into dust are alive again and well thanks to the Dragon Balls- I mean Infinity Stones, which is more than can e.g. be said about Bambi’s mom. So if your kid starts crying because Thanos won when you let them watch Infinity War? Make sure to put Endgame in almost immediately to show them their heroes are not dead. Just hope the kid is not a fan of Iron Man or Black Widow, cause they are the only superheroes of the bunch who are going to join Old Yeller and Co in the everlasting realm of fictional character deaths to “fuck up” your kids.

Which btw is the other thing worth pointing out: See, I can imagine kids having the most negative reaction to watching the Snap play out. Because most kids will not know as many media as adults and are on average not exposed to as much violence or “traumatic” events in the stuff they watch/consume or in real life (hopefully). And lets face it, Infinity War has some “brutal” scenes in it. Thanos choking Loki, Thanos getting stabbed, Thanos getting an axe in his torso, Thanos throwing Gamora of the cliff, everyone getting blown with the wind etc.

But the way Dobson words it, he believes that adults too will react to it negatively, to the point they may need therapy. To which I say, no. If most children can deal with Infinity War, so will even more adults. Personally I think the only person “traumatized” by Infinity War was Dobson himself, because if his history in regard of movies and media he consumes is any indication, he is a pantsy who likely pisses his knickers at animated Halloween specials despite being now almost 40.

Even others called him out on it, but Dobson, the manchild that he is can’t acknowledge that he may have overreacted to it and still believes this movie is a horrifically traumatic experience, based on some youtubers overreacting for the sake of clicks.

Last but not least, where was that kind of reaction by Dobson when Man of Steel came out? You know, the movie where the fight scenes in Metropolis were actually called out by many people in the media of being triggering for people who experienced 9/11.

Seriously though, if Dobson thinks Infinity War’s ending is traumatizing, I just have to ask the following things:

a) how many mainstream western comics has he actually ever bothered to read, cause on average even worse shit can happen in them to heroes than seen in Infinity War (just ask people who read “Cry for Justice”)

b) if Infinity War is already that traumatizing for you, how did you expect to ever be a decent story creator yourself, cause obviously you can’t see characters actually suffer? Except of course when they are straight males abused by redhead pirates.

c) Just as a personal opinion: Better turn into dust than to be inflated and popped, Catty!

[cosmicqueen10]

The Top 5 things I’ve seen this October

Hey guys.

I wanted to get into the horror mood this month so I thought I’d watched some new anime and gameplay of the horror variety. And then I decided to do another list of my top favorite ones from 5th to 1st. Now, this is just my opinion so don’t criticize or flame me.

Now, for anyone interested, read on.

#5 - Hellsing (Original Version)

Yeah, I know there’s Hellsing Ultimate but I’ll watch that later when I can. Now to be honest, this one I just breezed through because I was half invested in it. 

Vampires I like but what I don’t like is not being intrigued enough to really look through every single aspect of the show to understand the full extent of its value. I thought there’d be some fling between Alucard and Seras but it’s pretty much a master/pupil thing. And really, the plot was never resolved at the end, probably saving it for the sequel. Mostly everyone dies, Intergra is locked up and may become a vampire by Alucard too, I don’t know. I’ve seen some images of Ultimate and I may get answers from it, and I found out that Alucard may be another version of Dracula. And he’s a girl. Yeah, I’ll watch that sequel soon to make sense of it all.

So, to be short, this wasn’t bad ... but I hope the sequel helps my feelings on this franchise get better.

#4 - The Devil is a Part Timer

This is more magical and humorous instead of complete gore, but that doesn’t mean it’s not intriguing. To see the devil; the embodiment of evil, in such an amusing way, is something that got me to watch it in the first place. And at a parody of McDonalds no less.

The plot was good, the art style is great, the action sequences didn’t drag on for filler sake, it was all smooth sailing. Of course, the romance was a tad not there for Maou and Chiho and just joked at only for it not to go anywhere. And after just now looking up stuff on the light novels and manga, it looks like Maou and Emi were meant to be and it goes way deeper than that ...

But most of the gang staying is like them moving on from their past lives to start anew is fine by me, them all being silly and acting like actual humans, for Maou being not just an evil being but someone who does anything to protect his people, friends, home, it gives him some humanity.

Again, anime just brushes the surface. But even so, it’s still good stuff.

#3 - Danganronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc (Video Game)

Now, i wanted to watch the anime but after seeing reviews on how the anime does a terrible job at representing the game, I decided to watch the gameplay instead. Luckily, I found a gameplay playlist by a Youtuber, John Wolfe, with his girlfriend Kimmy as they played the whole game and their commentary made watching the whole, dang long story tolerable. That prologue though, so long!

The art style was what attracted me first. The plot is apocalyptic themed and such, some of the characters I tolerated/weren’t half bad/had common sense. Like Kyoko, Byakuya, Sakura, Chihiro, and a bit Makoto (even if he’s kinda half baked).

Monokuma is the symbol of despair in this game which is cute but also creepy, and it doesn’t end. John and Kimmy have a playlist for the sequel which I will watch later on. Twists, turns, and the real mastermind in this is cuckoo! Overall, this is worth the journey.

#2 - Devilman Crybaby

Oh gawd, the mature setting is set on high for this one. Just mature beyond belief.The art style/animation is so anime-esque but still new all the same. But when it comes to horror, the usual case of demons and the devil, I will watch it.

Akira became my go to guy in this. He may have fused with the demon Amon and became Devilman but he was still a good guy. And being caught up in this war with demons cost him his family, his friends, his love Miki, and worst of all, finding out his best friend Ryo is Satan all along. The whole plot of demons being humans succumbed to the worst of emotions and wiping out the human race to control Earth and then wage battle against God, it was all Ryo’s plan.

And yeah, the mature stuff with sex, drugs, violence, scenes of cannibalism from a kid (oh gawd that shocked me) and a duel to the death between former friends ... only for Akira to die. Everyone dying really, great characters like Miko and Miki, the rapping guys (even though one of them was a traitor) and Satan looking like an angel when actually he’s the devil. But Akira, cut in half, and Ryo embracing him as he cried for the first time as God wipes out all life on Earth again ....

And there it ends. The last few episodes were hard to watch. So much drama, and blood, and tragedy. It all ends. Such a good anime, but tragic ending. Just like Infinity War. T-T 

#1 - Castlevania (Netflix)

Now this has everything a scary, horror story should have and more. The Dracula theme, vampires, demons and all that but also magic, gripping action and a plot that comes all the way through. Season 1 got me interested, Season 2 took it all the way home.

So much blood, gore, language, some humor and relationship feels here and there, epic battles and a good ending that leads to a new beginning. Trevor was a badass with the joking and whip lashing foes, Sypha being one of the best magic users I’ve seen and being so clever and powerful, and Alucard being calculating and with a purpose to end his father’s war.

Showing flashbacks of Lisa’s capture and Dracula as he was before they met added more to how they were, so good. Also flashbacks for newcomers Isacc and Hector, plus Carmilla as to how they became who they are in the show and where they ended up in the end. The addition of more vampires was fine, even though it all ended with good old fashioned bloody brawls.

The chemistry between Trevor and Sypha was so cute! The relationship between Trevor and Alucard was that of crude amusement whereas Alucard’s relationship with Sypha is something else entirely. The final clash between the trio and Dracula was one of pure epicness and ending with Alucard making the final blow at the same time Dracula realized he was killing his own son; Lisa’s greatest gift to him; making him accept that he was already dead when Lisa died. Peace was restored, everyone went down different paths, and the ending made me shed tears.

In short, it was everything I hoped it would be and more. Not just good, but great. Is Season 3 coming next? Who knows? But what I do know is that this is the best thing I’ve seen this October.

And that’s it. I hope you enjoyed. And until next time, bye guys.

[elizas-writing]

We’re about 3 months away until the long anticipated release of the one, the only, the extraordinary, Kingdom Hearts III! Almost 14 years of waiting with about a dozen side games and HD re-releases are finally building up to this grand moment for video game fans. And like most other fans out there, I needed a serious catch up to remember all the convoluted lore and relive all the good times and bad with our favorite Keyblade wielders and Disney team members.

Since I don’t have all of the games on hand, much less the time to play the ones I own, I went to the wonderful world of YouTube and over the course of two months binged through about 30 hours of content, right from the very beginning! It was so much fun to relive all the series highlights, finally watch the newer content in the HD re-releases, and pick up on the little details I missed the first time around. And I thought I’d share some of the wonderful thoughts going on in my head during my binge.

Without further ado, here are Eliza’s silly but honest taglines, asides, observations, and comments of the Kingdom Hearts series!

Kingdom Hearts

The OG most ambitious crossover

I’ve been in this world for three hours and CAN’T FIND THE NEXT CHECKPOINT.

I know we jab at Chain of Memories for its awful gameplay, but I legit-erally didn’t finish the Atlantica world cause I had no idea where the fuck to go next. Even for a 2002 game, the mechanics were a nightmare sometimes.

Sometimes having every other world set up like a labyrinth is too much work than it’s worth.

Seriously, you have to talk to Aerith a million times to get Curaga. How the fuck were you supposed to know that without the Internet or a strategy guide??

Came for the bizarre mix of Disney and Final Fantasy– stayed for the characters and mildly convoluted story.

Just gonna add this in with the other “the power of friendship” crap I love.

  Kingdom Hearts: Chain of Memories

Worst. Fucking. Fighting. System. EVER.

You ever wonder how the board meeting went for this game?

“So it’s, like, 50% the same game again, but shitty.”

I’m here to button mash, not strategize like Magic the fucking Gathering

This is the one where all the hot villains show up, right?

Just don’t let Axel’s bad boy facade fool you. He’s a finger guns bisexual with bad dad jokes.

10/10 will steal your girlfriend, boyfriend and nonbinary significant other

Every time someone says “memory,” take a shot.

Also, are we never gonna talk about where Pluto went with that letter? Are we supposed to accept he just comes and goes however he pleases?

  Kingdom Hearts II

The best one. You can’t change my mind.

One man’s convoluted revenge scheme at the cost of, like, 5 teenagers’ mental well-beings.

I’ve only known Roxas for 6 days, but if anything happens to him, I’ll kill everyone in this room and then myself.

So Ansem wasn’t really Ansem. You see, he was this scientist’s apprentice who– aaaaaand I’m lost.

If your fandom experience at this point didn’t include calling Xemnas “Mansex” or listening to Dr. Bombay’s “My Sitar” to cope with Demyx’s 2nd boss battle, you did it all wrong.

We all made fun of Demyx for needing a notecard for his mission, but my work desk is a cluster of reminders and sticky notes, so I can’t judge anymore.

The beginning of the longest, most painful wait for a sequel.

I’m sure Haley Joel Osment is a chill dude, but who the fuck allowed him to sing?

  Kingdom Hearts: 358/2 Days

Area Man Tries to Balance Life Between Work, Broken Marriage, and Two Adopted Kids in Existential Crises

Spoiler Alert: It ends horribly for everyone involved

When the realization set in that he became a father

Saix being a bitch

Family drama

Seriously, Saix, the last time I saw a man this pissy about his friend spending time with someone else was The Road to El Dorado. And Tulio and Miguel were supposed to be a gay couple.

Well, that was a depressing ass backstory on why Roxas has two Keyblades

“Who am I?!”

Anyone out there still calling Xion a Mary Sue better apologize to my daughter in the next five seconds.

The Organization’s HR complaint box probably looks like a tornado blew through it…

At least they seem to have good enough health insurance since their youngest members tend to fall into month long comas.

  Kingdom Hearts: Birth by Sleep

Remember when Xehanort was a scientist’s apprentice who went AWOL? Think again, bitch!

The point where you realize this is all just a long, cruel, brutal DnD campaign

It’s best if you just don’t get emotionally invested in any of the characters. No one has a happy ending.

How one man’s total lack of self-awareness and critical thought dooms the universe

No, seriously, I’m sorry, Terra is a massive idiot. Master Xehanort doesn’t even have to try hard to manipulate Terra; he’s just that goddamn dense and does a lot of stupid shit on his own. These are facts.

I can’t even handle the secondhand embarrassment of his Neverland visit where he thinks Peter Pan is after the light when he was guarding a literal treasure chest, like, that’s just too dumb.

I still love him and wish him a wonderful redemption, and he definitely didn’t deserve losing his friends, family and his free will, but there were so many avoidable stupid disasters if he didn’t just blindly trust the wrong people.

Terra is the physical embodiment of “I am not a clever man.”

Forget the darkness in his heart– I’m more concerned about how many worms are eating his brain.

Terra, this bitch just asked you to cut out the heart of a 14-year-old girl, and you just went “chill.” Did you already forget your last oopsie with Aurora?

Loving mother left to clean up her husband and son’s messes…. all of them…

She’s about a couple steps away from becoming a wine mom to get through this shit.

As you can see, the main difference between Ventus and Roxas is that one is a literal ray of sunshine who did nothing wrong, and the other is a mass of anxiety who says “fuck” more often than he’s allowed to.

  Kingdom Hearts: Coded

The one everyone forgets existed.

Guys, I just wanted to know what Mickey’s letter said. I didn’t ask for another whirlwind adventure.

The most outrageous excuse for a midquel, but dammit that last bit in Castle Oblivion… I’m gonna need a moment to recollect myself.

Yeah, if this bit didn’t get you emotional, get out of my house.

What do you fucking mean Xehanort isn’t fucking dead??

  Kingdom Hearts: Dream Drop Distance

Wait a minute, all Terra and Aqua had to do for their Mark of Mastery was hit some balls and spar each other. Why do Sora and Riku need to go through coma nightmares and fever dreams??

Just… just give up questioning the lore…

So Ansem the Wise made a copy of his computer, and that’s a sleeping world where Jeff Bridges exists, I– I’m done.

And if this didn’t break your heart just a little bit, we can’t be friends.

Had the potential to just be Kingdom Hearts III if Nomura wasn’t too deep in perfecting those renders

We’re gathered here today in the bonds of just a couple of guys being dudes.

But seriously, there is zero heterosexual explanation behind Sora and Riku’s Sound Ideas coming together to make “Dearly Beloved.”

So is Ienzo really gonna gloss over the fact Lea stood by while a clone sucked out his life force? … Okay…

I’m still bothered by the fact Young Xehanort and Haida from Aggretsuko have the same English voice actor, because they’re total opposite energies.

  Kingdom Hearts X [chi] Back Cover

“Traitor!”– Ben Solo-Organa, Star Wars VII: The Force Awakens

I’m surprised no one took a step back and said “Guys, maybe the Master was fucking insane and trying to dupe us all with this Book of Prophecies shit.”

I’m sorry, I can’t trust anything the guy says or does. He put his FUCKING EYEBALL IN A KEYBLADE FOR SHITS AND GIGGLES.

Not to mention, he purposefully made them keep their roles a secret from each other which made misunderstandings pile on top of each other, like, dude!

I’m sticking to the theory that there was never a traitor, and he just pulled this out of his ass for the drama of it all.

Does no one in these games sit down and talk through their problems like normal people do? Again, worms in the brains…

Friendly reminder that cute Keyblade wielder avatar you made likely died in the Keyblade War.

I have nowhere near enough time to wade through like 900 quests worth of content in an ongoing game, and I don’t know how much I’ll need for Kingdom Hearts III…

Like, apparently Ven time traveled?? The fuck??

“What’s in the box?!”

  Kingdom Hearts 0.2 Birth by Sleep A Fragmentary Passage

If you thought that title was a mouthful, wait for the onslaught of feelings!

“The things I do for love.”– Courage, Courage the Cowardly Dog

The most beautiful and emotional game demo in the universe

I wanna eat all the rocks

I just want my wife to come home and be able to rest.

“Please, God, just let me have one good day?”

��Oh my God, you again?? Give it a rest buddy!”

Kingdom Hearts III is RIGHT there! I can see it, I can taste it, I can smell it, it’s so goddamn close that I can hear the angelic choir singing Kumbaya. I haven’t been teased this bad since BBC Sherlock series 3.

  Kingdom Hearts III (based on all current information from trailers and conventions)

You get Norted, and YOU get Norted! Everyone gets Norted!!

Impractical zippers and belts are so 2005. Now everything is about plaid and excess buttons.

“I want to see my little boy (Here he comes) I want to see my little boy!”

What is he doing? His best. Also, get a load of the detail work on his hands.

Xion and Naminé are on the box art, so they have to be in the game, BUT WHY AREN’T THEY IN THE TRAILERS YET? WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY DAUGHTERS?

“The ending is going to be difficult for fans to handle.” I’m sorry, Nomura, but I forgot how to read for a moment there and will be in a horrible state of denial for the next three months.

If you’re calling that Heartless doll your waifu, congratulations, you’d be the first to die in a horror movie.

For fuck’s sake, it’s emitting black smoke and has the penetrating eyes of death. It must be burned.

And there you have it, folks! Most every silly thought that went through my wonderful brain through my Kingdom Hearts binge! It was worth putting off many of my other shows to refresh my memory on the lore— as contrived as it is multiple times—, see all my favorite characters, relive the greatest moments, and get pumped for what’ll come next in Kingdom Hearts III. I can already tell it’s going to be a great one, and I can’t wait to start playing!

Funny Observations of the #KingdomHearts Series We're about 3 months away until the long anticipated release of the one, the only, the extraordinary, Kingdom Hearts III!

[radicalapollo]

Keyfabe Should Be More Dead

I’ve run into a lot of discussions on the WWE recently, and the discourse around it is split in a lot of ways. Obviously some people, myself included, aren’t very happy with the way it’s being run currently, I’d say recently, there were a few final straws for people. Between James Ellsworth basically winning the first ever Women's Money In The Bank Ladder Match, the state of 205 Live, or breaking up Enzo and Cass, there seems to be no end to the things the WWE will do that either make no sense, or are drama grabs in the worst of fuckin ways.

I’ve been upset with the product for a damn good while now and have all but given up, but what happened the other day was a perfect encapsulation with whats wrong with the WWE currently.

It’s Vince.

Now that’s not too surprising, but it’s a lot worse than just being out of touch I think.

Talking Smack was one of the most successful things on the WWE Network, and has some REALLY compelling things going on with it. For around 15 to 20 minutes every Tuesday night, Talking Smack would come on and we’d get to see interviews with WWE wrestlers that felt... real. They were usually still in character, but they felt a lot more genuine. They'd joke with Rene and Daniel Bryan, or sometimes they’d get so heated that they’d have the promo of their fucking lives like with The Miz. It was prime entertainment, and put Smackdown Live on the map because it has a lot more realness when it came to it’s wrestlers than Raw did.

Vince McMahon, having somehow never seen the show in his life apparently, came in last Tuesday, saw Talking Smack for the first time, and said “What do you mean there’s no script?! Cancel this show!”

And so Talking Smack was cancelled. Right then and there. No fair trial, no second thought, nothing. It’s just gone now. Well, sorta. It’s still gonna happen after Smackdown special events, but even those are gonna go away eventually because he wants to phase the show out completely.

Wrestlers aren’t allowed to go off the cuff. They aren’t allowed to get themselves over on their own character and speaking talents. They HAVE to have it done through a rigid script and unless going off script nets them INSTANT rewards, they get punished for doing so.

Yet Vince will also tell his employees to “Reach For The Brass Ring”. To make their success their own. To make themselves stars in a setting where your outcomes are already decided for you. As far as he’s concerned, if a wrestler doesn’t get over, even if they’re planned to lose every time they wrestle, it’s their own fault.

Lets change gears real fast.

I’ve been watching a lot of New Japan Pro Wrestling recently. Something I noticed with it is that while the drama is still there, it’s simplified down. There isn’t as much like... straight up convoluted and weird drama for the sake of getting rises out of people, and more things based on the matches themselves. Nothing feels throw away. Nothing feel like it has less meaning than another, and the company seems to reward wrestlers going off script and doing things on their own terms, and there’s no better example of this than The Bullet Club.

The Bullet Club, especially under The Elite, Kenny Omega, Nick and Matt Jackson, have made a name for themselves as heels, and gotten themselves over even AS heels. People LOVE the bullet club as much as they like to hate them, and they play it up. They embrace the side of wrestling where people understand that they’re just characters. They take it and turn it on it’s head. They have a youtube show for themselves that is in between just goofing around and doing silly skits, and legit setting up new story lines for themselves, and within the club itself.

And people fuckin love it. They love that these bad guys are just goof ass people. They love that they can see Kenny Omega at fighting game Tourneys and just have him do silly stuff, while also being one of the faces of NJPW (As in, one of the big names, not like... the term face.)

Kayfabe is dead to them 24/7.

Kayfabe is only dead 20/5 for the WWE, and the lines of it are getting more and more blurred in ways that don’t make any sense.

The current storyline is that Jason Jorden is somehow Kurt Angles illegitimate son, and as such, is now on Raw, meaning they broke up one of their most athletically and fluid tag teams, American Alpha, for an ACTUAL soup opera style storyline, and I can’t FUCKING BELIEVE IT. They broke them up because they didn’t know what do with them, and because they couldn’t make a name for themselves without being punished, this is where we’re at now.

The idea that wrestling is a serious thing, and that the rules of it have to be kept in place and respected are long the fuck over, and we’re seeing other wrestling shows find success through not trying so damn hard to make everything a twist. Not trying so hard to make everything HAVE to revolve around the absolute drama of everything,

Hell some are doubling down so hard that it wraps back around. Lucha Underground’s kayfabe is so strong that they might as well just have it be a cartoon because stupid, ultra unrealistic shit is happening in it all the time. Actual super powers and wrestlers getting killed off in the story is just the tip of the iceburg. Again, it’s embracing the silly side of wrestling, and pulling it in. There’s no way people can misunderstand it as anything but a scripted show because of how fucking wild it is.

WWE is sitting ugly in the middle of these two extremes, and it is not fucking working. It’s working for SOME people, because they lean more towards the bullet club way of doing things (See: The New Day) and some that lean more towards Lucha Underground (See: Bray Wyatt) but the normal ass normal men in the WWE, and a lot of the women, get swept under the rug WEEKLY because they don’t know what to do with them, and won’t let them do their own thing.

And now the one show that actually did let them do their own thing is gone.

Damn.

[canvaswolfdoll]

CanvasWatches: K-On!

I haven’t over-talked about an anime for a while, have I? At least, not since October. Life’s been busy. Let’s fix that.

Lately, I’ve had contact with the greatest library system in the world,[1] and through it I have managed to watch one of the Essential Anime Series.

And, as always, I watched K-On![2] dubbed. Take that, anime elitists! Ha-ha!

It took me awhile to get through K-On!, longer than I would’ve liked, since I ended up watching it between two trips, months apart, where other commitments and activities forced me away from the television as I desperately tried to get through it, and maybe onto others shows I checked out (Spoilers: between the two trips, I only really managed to watch K-On!)

Luckily, its overarching narrative isn’t very important to follow closely, as it is the flagship of the ‘Cute Girls doing Cute Things’ anime set that evolved from Azumanga Daioh. It was often quipped, whenever someone tried to come in partway through, that there was no plot.

It’s not even Seinfeldian, since even that had actual stakes. K-On! really is a show about a small rock band of girls where nothing really happens. It’s very cute, endearingly so, but… well, I wouldn’t say you need to go out of your way to watch the show if you’re unsure. If you’re into anime and exploring the various genres, then yes, give K-On! a try, just to see if this sort of show appeals to you.

Actually, going back to my earlier snark, this is a show I’m really glad I could watch dubbed. I’ve previously outlined my reasons for only watching dubs, but in this case my penchant for multitasking was key for sitting through the series, while keeping an ear on the actual show. If I were forced to keep rapt attention, reading every line as it came on screen, there is no way the show would’ve won the effort versus reward balance.

K-On! is a good white noise show, which isn’t an insult. It’s just something that’s very easy to come in and out of as you do other things, or want to watch something without committing to depth. There is value to fluff and escapism, which you can find here.

The entire series is built to be disposable, with no drama. There are no romantic relationships, no major fights or tedious fall-outs. In fact, I almost want to say there’s zero conflict at all. Yet, despite what your writing and English teachers may tell you, the series works.

It’s a story carried by its cast of characters. They aren’t even particularly outlandish characters, compared to other shows. They have quirks and traits, but they’re low key, and I’m not even sure how well I can describe the main cast, as they tend to overlap with character traits.  The most obvious differences between them are whether they are extroverts or introverts. Still, it’s my style to talk about characters, so here’s my attempt.

Main Five:

Yui: The supposed protagonist of the series, or at least the focal character during the establishing phase of it. Her endearing characteristics are that she’s immature and physically affectionate! She’s also the second most extroverted character. At the start of the series, she’s directionless and unsure what to do with herself now that she’s a High School student, so she decides to join a club. Except she doesn’t really want to put much effort into it, so she joins the light music club, believing she’ll breeze by only playing simple percussion. But, she ends up having to learn the guitar. She also seems to be the main vocalist, at least for the opening sequences.

Mio: She’s the bass player and is left handed, but is also very shy and relatively serious. Thus, of course, she gets played up for the most fan service and put in uncomfortable situations, though she mellows out as the show progresses. She also gains a fan club, because why not? She sings the closing credits songs.

Ritsu: The club president and drum player. She’s tomboyish, loud, and impulsive, thus the primary driving force whenever she’s actually on board with something, and the one who first really wanted to form a band. Childhood friend of Mio.

Mugi: She plays the keyboard! She’s a little of the quiet, subtle type, but also has a rather wide enabler streak, as she uses her family money to buy her friends nice things, and is the person brewing (very fancy) teas and bringing treats for the club meetings. As such, she might be the one most to blame for how little the club members practice as opposed to just hanging out.

Azusa (Azu-nyan): Joins half-way through the first season as a second guitar player. She then quickly rises to become, if not the viewpoint character, then at least sharing the position with Yui. Unlike the rest of the band, she actually starts with a lot of musical knowledge, and really would like to practice from time to time. However, she lacks confidence to stand up to her “Senpais” (it’s actually interesting to hear the dub casually use the terms), so she gets swept into their usual tea times and Yui’s overabundance of physical affection. Also, she’s almost only addressed as Azu-nyan by the club members.

The  five live the expected high schooler lives, studying, hanging out, making jokes, visiting the beach, and in general growing to become a rather adorable group of friends. You know, slice of life stuff.

Though, I’d also be remiss not to discuss the secondary characters:

Sawako: A teacher of… something I forgot? But eventually the homeroom teacher of the senior band members. She’s the wackiest character, despite her efforts to appear professional outside the club room. She’s pretty casual with the Light Music Club, and makes cute costumes to try and force onto the band. She’s also probably my favorite character.

Nodoka: Yui’s childhood friend. She’s a member of the student council, and thus the one forced to try and get the band to actually do paperwork.

Ui: Yui’s younger sister, who is miles more responsible than her older sister. She also becomes Azu-nyan’s classroom friend.

Jun: Azu-nyan’s third friend. She’s a member of the Jazz club, and exists to make the kouhais a trio.

There are, of course, other bit players that pop up now and again for the sake of the plot, but none really matter outside these nine.

So the episodes go: the four (later five) band members interact, get to know one another, and grow as friends and possibly people, but not by a lot.

Honestly, the lack of in-depth and overarching plot makes talking about K-On! difficult because it’s not a show you watch to find out “Will these girls become a successful band?” or “Will the power of music defeat the evil aliens?” It’s just something you sort turn on so you have an excuse to melt into the couch, maybe browse social media, and listen to characters have a nice time.

Like Yotsubaa, though a little less goofy, and actually animated.[3]

So what is there actually to describe? It’s a pleasant experience, watch it if you're interested, don’t if it doesn’t appeal.

There’s the actual music. They are a band, and we do get to watch and listen to music being performed, though usually abstracted into some sort of music video. It’s nice music, and the Dub makes the excellent decision to leave the vocals in Japanese and subtitle it. I may be a staunch Dub advocate, but even I can admit it’s usually best to leave music as is.

It’s all very fun music that I wish I could listen to, but copyright bots have done an astounding job of keeping the songs off Youtube, and I can’t even find the music on any American music service.[5] The lyrics are a little silly, but in a fun way.

Fair warning, though, you will here the ending line of Fuwa Fuwa Time constantly. It’s their go-to ‘and the girls are done playing’ snippet. I found it amusing, quipping it’s the only song they play, but I can see how it might get tedious to hear.

So let’s go a little meta with it. What can I, as a creator, take from this anime?

The girls are very similar from a distance, both in appearance and personality. Yes, they differ in some of the details (hair and major personality traits), but they mostly can fill any role needed for the typical K-On scene. Ritsu is rambunctious, sure, but she’s as susceptible to ‘cute’ antics and sentimentality as the others.

They are very flat characters, who all grow very little over the course of the series. Yui is as much of a childish airhead at the end of the series as she was at the start, if not more. Ritsu never learns to be responsible about club forms or her own actions. Mio is as reserved and nervous. Mugi still is content to sit back and watch. No one learns anything.

And that’s okay.

Because you don’t need to tell a sweeping epic or carefully plotted drama to tell a continuing narrative. It’s nice to have, yes, but it’s also acceptable to keep the stakes low and just enjoy the moment.

It’s also a great example of how to make very similar characters still have little unique traits, and how little differences can make a world of difference. The main characters all fall at different points of outgoingness, ranging from Ritsu’s energetic tomfoolery, to Mio’s desire to not be noticed. It affects how the five will approach a given situation, and gives space for potential conflicts.

And honestly, though I love the concept, the scenes built to show how two characters interacting when it’s only them aren’t the strongest of the show. Like the band itself, it’s an ensemble piece that’s at it’s best when everyone’s there, with the occasional guest performer.

To take another meta direction, it is a show about artists. Musicians, yes, which is an inexplicable magic I have no way to enter,[6] but artists nevertheless. So it’s a peek into the life of young artists, if perhaps slightly improved. Because these girls do have a following amongst their classmates, and thus are successful in that way. And they have, between the television episodes, OVAs, and movie, gotten a few outside gigs, which I never managed as a High Schooler.

Though I’m a writer, so that might explain it.[7]

Still, the world doesn’t just give them success. Though it’s mostly offscreen, they all do practice. They show the importance of networking, which is how they get their scant few outside gigs. With Sawako, we also see artists learning from an experienced artist, as well as an experienced artist helping and nurturing new talent, even if she keeps putting them in silly outfits. Most importantly, the band members support one another and working together to make Afternoon Tea Time (Ho-kago Tea Time) better, show casing the important role friends and colleagues have in an artist’s life.

Because, more than anything, Artists require support and encouragement. It’s difficult to create something and then not have anyone to turn to to evaluate and enjoy it. I’ve never had many people I felt I could hand writing to and expect them to actually want to read it, least of all my high school friends. Or most of my family, really. I’ve tried, in my youth, but always got such an indifferent response that I learned not to try.

So, I guess those are the important messages of K-On!: support your artists, not just financially, but also emotionally. Find what you love, and others will come to you. And sometimes it’s nice to just sit around with teas and snacks and good company.

Thanks for reading, and speaking of support, I have a Patreon.[8]

Kataal kataal.

[1] Could I legally sell merchandise naming the Santa Clara County Library? Seems like an obvious choice for Canvas merch. [2] I know the second season has two exclaimation points, but since animes are always a little odd with naming seasons, I’ll just use season 1’s pattern, like I usually do with Anime. [3] Which actually might just be Azumanga Daioh…[4] [4] Also, c’mon Kiyohiko Azuma! Even a one season anime of Yotsubaa would be amazing. It’d be so cute, and I could get at least two of my family members to watch anime with it! [5] Well, I haven’t tried iTunes, but I never want that on my computer again. It’s so needy. [6] Seriously, I have no rhythm or concept for how to compose original music. Or even words to describe what I want from people who do! [7] If there were a High School anime about artist friends, the writer would be the gloomy one who feels the others get more recognition and opportunities than them. [8] Ha! Smooth transition.