#(i haven’t in like a week and goin thru withdrawals fr)

[kuroosdarling]

happy saturday friendz !!! i hope everyone has a great day today :3 finally on my way to go see barbenheimer with the bestie hehe so as a treat here is a snippet of the gojo fic im almost done with ^_^

[srlkiller]

A Valium induced draft entry 📝

These past few months have been impossibly hard. It’s kinda hard to type rn. 5 Valium deep. 6 targin deep. I don’t get much from any of these meds tho expect for slight slouchyness sloth feeling and a general overall calmness I guess. Haven’t been on my usual oxycodone doseage for over a week now. On some low ass slow release withdrawl shit to stop me from getting too ill and adding the Valium to hell with the restlessness/insomnia/anxiety that comes on hard with withdrawals. But that’s beside the point of wtf I’m tryna write about. Just background info.

June was a whole mess. I loss someone so important to me n I’m still going through it majority. Every fucking day. Idk if it’ll get easier. But I don’t wanna forget him ever. The pain is always present. A lot of fuckshit happened n I was goin thrrrruuuuu it man. I quit cigs!!!! Like deadass haven’t had a cig in over a month n I’ve been smoking since I was like 13 or some shit (I’m 24 this year)!! So that was kinda hard but Juul life has saved me fr n I feel soo much better for it. I luv the Juul.

I used to do so many drugs fr like looking back on it. I was on soooo much shit n I just literally stopped it all over time n didn’t even realise how much stuff I ditched. Used to eat benzos like candy legit, was on so many diff pain meds and Lyrica snd tramadol and just mass amounts of anti psychotics, stuff I took I didn’t even kno wtf it was I just accepted the scripts m took the pills man like I was a literal med hamster for psychtrists n doctors cuz I was so messed up. I was just constantly drugged up I lost count of everything I was taking. I just got off everything n I’m so damn proud!!!!!! I think the turning point was my seizure. That scared the shit outta me. Doctors were just giving me all kinds of shit it had an adverse effect on my brain/system to the point where I coulda died... I remember I had a xan period where it was some weak ass street pressed xans and I took heaps for a week straight then stopped then I stayed awake for legit a week after I stopped m it was complete hell...... whatever the fuck they was pressed w Idk but that shit was awful. Been benzo free for the longest until now but I literally only got like 15 Valium just for withdrawl symptoms so it ain’t nothing crazy u kno.

I just can’t believe how much shit I’ve quit in such a short amount of time without even realising it whilst going thru all the other shit I’ve been going thru w my personal life, work life, family issues, health issues, mental health & chronic pain. A huge ass blur of my life but if I break it down I’m doing well on that front n that makes me hella proud of myself :’)