#(i have gotten the 'but you don't look autistic!!!!' wayyyyyyy too many times) | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

autumnoakes · 2 months ago

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"why don't you correct people more when they use the wrong pronouns for you?" because that would mean outing myself. full stop.

i do not feel comfortable enough with my identity and in my community to be entirely, 100%, out to people i barely even know. it takes a lot of vulnerability for me to stop and correct someone i've only spoken to in a classroom or professional setting and go "actually, i'm not a woman and my pronouns are they/them." much less constantly remind people about it. yes, i do put my pronouns wherever i can, and the people who i do feel comfortable around know and respect my pronouns and identity, but not everyone does.

also, there isn't always a place for me to share my pronouns judgement free. a lot of the time, if i want to, i have to voluntarily out myself. which is not something i'm always up to doing.

#thinking about the amount of people at uni who misgender me #not like it's their fault though. i DO very much look like a cis woman #but most of my instructors don't think to give an opportunity to share pronouns #(it's also tricky because while it's not actively dangerous to be queer in the area it's also not entirely safe or welcoming)#(like we have a pride crosswalk on campus but it's been defiled before and we often have to fight for basic respect)#i've had cis friends ask why i don't correct people more often and the answer to that is i'm just not confident or comfortable enough!#i'm also not really in a program with a lot of other queer people so it's not like there's a ton of solidarity #(there's some but i'm not usually in the same classes as them. we're all at different levels)#me personally i have trouble talking about myself. like i do not share things openly at all #hell most of my friends don't even know i'm autistic. i'm very private about that irl. i don't want to be judged for it #(i have gotten the 'but you don't look autistic!!!!' wayyyyyyy too many times)#and maybe this is me being a bad friend but idk i can't bring myself to say something about it #i'm just rambling and explaining my perspective on the matter idk #thinking of yesterday when i was called 'girl' and then immediately added to a whatsapp group chat #and on whatsapp i put my pronouns in my name because it's the only way i can think to inform people without saying it #😭😭😭#(although i think one of them has my number saved so idk if it'll show for her)#i should have my hair cut again. it's getting long 🤔

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