#(i figured out i had to reset his breed so he looks normal as an adult now LMAO)

[orbitsuns]

[moonbaby26]

Title: Breeding Grounds

(Chapter 20 of Doflamingo’s Marine Series)

*Crossposted to AO3 Here*

Chapter Pairings: Doflamingo x Fem!Reader

Chapter Warnings: language, animal behavior/breeding comparisons, but otherwise pretty clean actually except for some nudity, petting, and kissing. in other words, reader finally gets a little break? *gasp!* 😅

Chapter Synopsis: Doflamingo had made prior arrangements to personally pickup the serum he commissioned from Caesar for you. But on a whim, or perhaps a growing need to never be parted, the Heavenly Demon decides you’ll be accompanying him on this trip as well.

Chapters: 1,  2,  3,  4,  5,  6,  7,  8,  9,  10,  11,  12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20

Fic Masterlist

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——————————

It was only one day since the news had first broken worldwide about Doflamingo’s marriage proposal to you and his resetting of your relationship’s chaotic timeline in the colosseum.

Just one day since that man had cornered you in an oversized closet and confessed to killing his own marine double agent of a brother in supposed self defense, while in the very next breath saying he wanted to make a family with you instead.

Only one damn day since you were made to swallow pool water and further irritate your injuries, only to swim to him and force his paralyzed body out of harm’s way just as he’d intended.

“You still refuse to read about us?” Doflamingo’s taunting voice now carried from the bathroom, in reference to that newest newspaper on the nightstand.

“I was there. I don’t need to read Morgans’ take on it.” You answered only because you felt you had to. Doflamingo would just press more if you didn’t.

And the warlord’s resulting chuckle came easily through that still open bathroom door. “Public perception is all part of the game, love. Don’t discount its uses so easily.”

He had been up long before dawn. Back and forth between this royal suite and his office down the hall you assumed.

But he’d insisted on you waking and showering with him. So you now lay on the bed afterward, still wet and watching him with instinctive caution.

His back was to you, not a piece of clothing or towel to cover him at all. Purposeful you were sure as he stood before the full length mirror, performing such a disconcerting imitation of a normal man’s routine.

You could see his tight ass of course, his waist, and the backs of his thighs. All toned and far too perfect while he just made small talk with you like it was something normal, moving a long razor blade up along his throat and jaw as he did.

The Heavenly Demon was shaving.

And you couldn’t yet admit that whatever thick cream he’d lathered along his skin had smelled amazing too before you’d come over here to  wait on his bed.

Yes, you supposed you’d never seen even a hint of blond stubble across that lean face. As far back as you could possibly remember he’d always looked clean and well groomed.

But it didn’t make it comfortable to witness.

Still wholly bothersome to you somehow as Doflamingo tilted his face this way and that, getting every contour carefully with that blade.

Maybe it felt better to him than his strings. Maybe he preferred the moisturizing aspect of the lather or its scent as well. Maybe he just liked to feel pampered.

Yet even a view of the best ass in Dressrosa, both literally and figuratively, couldn’t distract you forever.

Your mind was still churning, wondering what fresh trauma really awaited you next.

“Doffy.” You said, with your hand tightening into the bedsheet.

And you saw his head turn. Just enough for his good eye to look back at you. He was wiping the bottom of his face with a washcloth after rinsing off the razor blade by then.

“When are you going to let me use a phone again?” You asked somewhat without warning. But quieter than he deserved. Because you still weren’t wanting to fight again yet. You had to recover at some point. You had to at least try to anyway.

But he had taken your snail after the incident with Crocodile. And you’d noticed his own snails were never left alone with you.

He was controlling all lines of communication out of this castle. Even as he’d made such a show of claiming to trust you at the pool yesterday.

But Doflamingo didn’t say anything back at first. He tossed that washcloth, leaving it for the maids to clean up later. And then he was walking towards you out of the bathroom.

You still weren’t used to how fast he could really cross a room. Even if he was in no particular hurry with those long legs.

“My eyes are up here, darling.” He chided, watching you intently.

Your eyebrows lowered at the callout. “Well, wear underwear for once.” You retorted. His length was swinging with his strides even at full rest. “Who wouldn’t look?”

“I don’t like underwear.” He smiled, pleased for the acknowledgement of his size. “It chafes.” But his equally uncovered eyes glinted with the hint of further mischief. “I can stand something smaller though. G-strings and thongs aren’t so bad. Care to see some examples?”

“You’re trying to change the subject.” You correctly pointed out at that, though with an embarrassing heat creeping into your face regardless.

“Nice mental image isn’t it?” Doflamingo reached the bed’s edge with another taunt, before turning and flopping right onto his back beside you.

It actually made you come off of the bed just that slight amount as the force of his weight went briefly through the springs below.

You splayed one hand out behind you for balance, somewhat sitting up. And then his still wet hair was in your equally naked lap as he rolled over onto you.

“You really should be looking at this like a vacation instead of manufacturing things to complain about.” He fussed a little, but with no real bite to it before a string picked up your other hand to set it onto his face.

“Stop doing that.” You huffed.

“Then learn to take a hint. I told you I get headaches on the left side.” He moved his face, that blind eye partly closed while he pushed his temple further against your palm.

“You’re having one right now?” You asked skeptically. He was going to do anything to keep from discussing his clear isolation of you, wasn’t he?

“Just help me.” He sounded more impatient there, edging back towards petulance.

But you were stubborn too, even though you still had to be careful. You kept talking even as your fingers did move by your own freewill then. You massaged Doflamingo’s temple and into his high hairline above that milky left eye. “Are you going to let me contact HQ again or not?”

Both his eyes started to close fully as you’d rubbed him. He only frowned a little when you’d still spoken.

“You just can’t leave a good thing alone, can you?” He asked. But noticeably relaxed despite the retort, letting your hand continue to work. “Careful what you wish for, darling. Because you may just get it.” He continued. “I didn’t tell you. But I decided we’re going out today. And you won’t be the only white coat once we get there.”

————————————

“He’s off island? Where?” Vergo questioned, albeit in his usual monotone.

“The young master left for Punk Hazard earlier today with that girl. He said he didn’t wish to be disturbed.” Gladius answered with similar evenness.

But Vergo did hesitate briefly at that on the other side of the snail, considering the weight of this new information. “It’s risky to go there now. The rank and file are already up in arms about all of this. Did he give a reason?”

“No. It seemed impromptu. One of his whims. But I assume he doesn’t like leaving her alone here with us either. Not after what happened before.”

At this suggestion, Vergo did finally offer a little more emotion in his words. It was a tone of judgement towards his fellow officers actually. “Yes. I heard about Trebol’s screw up. He should have known to wait for Doffy, and not to take anything into his own hands when it comes to her any longer.”

“Yes. But it has been just one thing after another since the young master found her again.” Gladius had always liked routine and order. The last few months had been far from that.

“Doffy always knows what he wants. He’s invested so much into this already. It’s our responsibility to support him no matter what.” Vergo contended, voice getting even a bit more stern in response.

“Yes, Vergo-san.” Whether Gladius added that term for the more senior officer out of genuine respect or just the new wish to hurry the call along was unclear.

“But that’s not what I called about. I wanted to warn him about Orlinde.” Vergo carried on regardless.

“What about it? That’s already done.”

“No, it isn’t. Because whatever amateurs you hired to take care of it are now leading a trail right back to Doffy.”

And at only this was Gladius then at concerned attention while Vergo continued. 

“After they left Orlinde, your hires apparently decided it’d be best to go get drunk on a nearby island and start running their mouths. The navy already had informants all over those bars. One of which reported that a crew was bragging about getting paid well recently for a big job in the area. A young crew with smiling faces tattooed on more than one of them.”

“Goddammit.” Gladius’ quill like hair began to lengthen already as his fist tightened near the snail on the table. “It was that fool Bellamy then. He can’t control his own people! I’ll have to deal with it.”

Yet there was another pause on the other end of the call to this.

“The Bellamy Pirates? What about them?” Vergo questioned, abruptly puzzled in that infuriating way he could sometimes be.

To which Gladius only bristled further, no longer having time for this at all. “You just said it, Vergo! Young idiots with our jolly roger! Who else would that be? Bellamy the Hyena was who we sent to burn down Orlinde!”

The snail quieted yet again.

“But that isn’t who the navy has identified on these reports right here in my hand. By the time a marine ship got to the port that the informants said these pirates were docked, some kind of fight was already going on. The only vessel seen with a smiling jolly roger escaped beneath the surface before the marine ship could stop them. A yellow submarine.”

“The Bellamy pirates don’t have a damn submarine. The young master would never waste that kind of beri on them.”

“I’m aware. This report says some new group called the Heart Pirates are the ones that razed Orlinde to the ground. Because they were the ones that escaped in the submarine. I don’t yet have any photos of their jolly roger or that vessel though. But no one else in the marine files has a smiling face quite like Doffy’s for their signet to get confused for his. So I assumed…”

“Never heard of them. And if they’re really using our symbol without permission, then they’re already dead. No one gets to do that.”

“Hmm.” Vergo still sounded contemplative. “If you truly don’t know them, I’ll look into this further then. Maybe it is just a lucky case of misidentification. And they can take the blame instead.”

“Maybe.” Gladius offered, beginning to calm down at the idea that this may not be the level of problem it had originally seemed.

“Oh, I’ll make sure the evidence points the way we want in the end.” Vergo confirmed though. With falsifying things to pin a crime on a whole other pirate group not being beneath him either. “Don’t tell Doffy for now then. He’s busy enough. I’ll figure out who these Heart Pirates are and get back to you.”

———————————

He had given you no real choice of course. Lingering at the open window in his bedroom not so very long ago.

You were either going to get into his arms like a good girl. Or he would have thrown you out of that window to start this journey anyway. Though, perhaps more gently than at the pool yesterday.

Because Doflamingo was in a very good mood. Again riding these highs of having so many successes all at once.

He had you soundly in his possession. There was already a ring on your finger and a marriage certificate on file in Mariejois. The newspapers were still clamoring to explain it all. And the final piece was now what he was on his way to Punk Hazard to acquire.

Also, he knew the Nefertaris had tried to call yesterday to extend some sort of invitation to the two of you. He knew Tsuru had abandoned her post in Lyra and that her warship was now at full sail on its way to Dressrosa.

Everyone was reacting to him.

But no one was stopping him.

He stayed rather low on his flight path this time. Not too high over the ocean, where the air was still warm as it rushed past you both.

He was doing his best to slow down and smooth out the transitions from one set of strings to the next. Keeping the ride far less bumpy as he released one group of strings just to be pulled further on by the subsequent ones which ran all the way up to the clouds.

There was so much precision and timing in every single movement that he doubted you would know to appreciate it as he watched you put your head down against his chest.

Not out of affection he assumed, but just from you trying to turn your face out of the wind again. 

Even with the borrowed pair of Baby 5’s goggles that he’d made you protect your eyes with, the nonstop blast of air got tiresome he was sure.

The only thing he didn’t like was how difficult it was to hold a conversation even at these lower speeds. You’d both be yelling over the wind, and that would hamper the romantic mood he would prefer to be setting.

Doflamingo knew well the risks of bringing you with him today. But, after seeing that protective look in your eyes yesterday as you’d forced his paralyzed body up from the pool steps, and now knowing Tsuru would be here soon…he didn’t want to lose any moment he had left to really be alone with you.

Even in exchange for the much shorter time it would have taken him to go to Punk Hazard alone on his errand at full speed.

And this was now an excuse to spend more time with you in slightly more neutral territory. 

It was a date.

Which he was considering as having already begun as he leaned his head back down as well. He kissed the top of yours when you’d buried it against him now.

Doflamingo could generate strings from any part of his body. He didn’t need his hands free to keep pulling against the clouds. Nor did he need to hold you up at all though. He’d already put plenty of near invisible tethers between your body and his so that you couldn’t have fallen this time even if you’d tried.

Your bodies were practically stitched together as one of his hands massaged down your back again.

He felt you squirm a bit as his fingers had teased down either side of your spine, and that made him smile.

He knew you hated this lack of control. And being told what to do and where to go by him all the time now.

Very soon you’d understand that everything had a purpose though. And that he could reward you just as easily as he could punish you.

Yet today was meant to be a reward.

——————————— 

You’d never known yourself to be afraid of heights. You could climb a ship’s rigging as quickly as anyone. Far up above deck with only seagulls to then keep you company as you’d helped to make repairs whenever needed.

Yet this was wholly different. And your stomach couldn’t seem to forget the last time you’d been dropped all the way from the clouds.

Doflamingo had told you to dress for duty. Back in your full marine attire, the white fabric fluttering as you now stayed coiled against his open shirt.

And he’d practically thrown a bag you’d never seen before at you earlier, telling you to carry it while he carried you.

Yet he’d been grinning all the while as he’d opened the bedroom window and hopped onto the windowsill like an overgrown spider to beckon you to him.

He hadn’t said where he was taking you. Only that there would be other marines there. Of course that only left so many options in your mind.

Yet all you’d known for sure is that what started as an invitation would have become an absolute demand if you hadn’t taken his hand as you’d eventually stepped up into that open window with him.

The last time you’d flown together, it’d been sunset and soon nighttime. So even through Baby 5’s slightly scratched goggles, you’d gotten to briefly see a much clearer aerial view of Dressrosa today.

With his hand cupping your ass just against the bottom edge of your skirt all the while anyway. You’d had to ignore his pressing fingers copping a feel even as the city and then the outer cliff face of Dressrosa had passed beneath you both to leave only open ocean again.

There wasn’t much talking after that either. Just the rush of air and the occasional sound of his strings plucking and snapping as he forced the two of you along.

But he never quit rubbing you, touching you. Maybe not even willfully at times. He would look up sometimes from the distraction of you though, like checking on the clouds that were still in the distance. 

He was charting his path you thought, confirming it as still passable. Weather could change in the New World so quickly.

Even the biggest ships could get into trouble fast when things went wrong. Yet you never thought for a moment that someone like him wouldn’t have contingency plans.

Doflamingo seemed perfectly at ease. 

Enough so that you’d finally tired of watching only open water. You’d put your face back against him fully to get it more out of the wind.

And then you’d felt him kiss the top of your head in response.

Those wandering fingers had teased along your spine not long after too, pressing just hard enough to make you nearly shiver.

He was clearly enjoying this. 

But were you?

Well…he wasn’t hurting you. You weren’t fighting one another. And no one was yelling or specifically upset in this moment.

You could still feel the rhythm too when he moved from the tension of one batch of strings to the next. But after awhile it was more like coasting over gentle swells of waves rather than being jarred too much this way or that.

Like being in your bunk during an easy day at sea. It was comfortable. 

It almost felt safe.

—————————

“Wake up, sailor. Land ahoy.” Doflamingo’s voice rumbled against your ear.

And you weren’t asleep. But you hadn’t moved for long enough that you couldn’t be insulted at his assumption as you did open your eyes.

Your head was back up, gaze focusing through those goggles for so much vibrant green to be the very first thing of note in the far distance. 

And no boat traffic below at all as you tried to identify where in the hell you now were.

But Doflamingo suddenly banked left before you could think much more about it, making you grab his shirt in reflex as if that would have actually done anything to help you.

He laughed immediately when you’d startled, his altitude dropping while that lush jungle rushed closer and closer.

You still saw no identifying landmarks, yet he seemed to know exactly where he was going. 

“We’ll head around the back side.” His lips were nearly to your ear again, voice just loud enough to be heard before palm fronds were soon rustling in his wake beneath the two of you.

And then you saw the first security fence pass below in a blur. And another and another, bisecting the thick jungle in seemingly random intervals.

About the same time that you heard a mechanical wail far in the distance. A type of siren you easily recognized then.

It was a marine security alarm as that mix of additional surprise and possibly even dread settled within you.

There was only one place this could then be within the range you could guess you now might be from Dressrosa.

But your transportation only chuckled darkly to that new noise. “Heh, they’ve added better snail cams then. Coming in this way used to work fine. Though I am usually faster than this…”

And he rolled, slowing further with those words. But still flying the two of you along as he reached within his feather coat. He pulled out a baby snail, waking it as he keyed in a quick number on its shell.

Doflamingo’s other arm tightened further around your waist, still holding you like a bad habit while that snail trilled for a bit.

As soon as the line did connect, the siren could also be heard louder in the background from it before a flustered voice broke through.

“Hell- oh, turn those damn things off already! I can’t hear! Hello!?” The mystery voice complained loudly.

“It’s me. I tripped the sensors.” Doflamingo spoke right over the other voice. “Tell them to calm their asses down, Caesar.”

“Ah, Jo-,” The voice sounded even more excitable then. “I mean, Doflamingo! But…you’re early!”

“Heh.” You saw that cocky little smirk you already knew too well. “Is that a problem? I won’t be coming by the lab until later though. We’re heading for the lake right now.”

“Wha…we?” The other was struggling to keep up. The sirens were still going off fully in the background.

“Me and my fiancée of course. We’re just taking a little break from the paparazzi and all our well wishers back home. So keep your nosy bodyguards inside.”

——————————

“I absolutely do not have clearance to be here. Just so you know.” Were the first words out of your mouth as your boots finally met the ground again. You were very glad to remove the goggles as well, pulling them down to hang around your neck so that you wouldn’t have to carry them.

That thick jungle initially seen from above was now what you were both standing within. 

Everything looked the same though. It’d be so easy to become lost you were sure.

But Doflamingo was just grinning once more as he now shouldered the mystery bag he’d had you carrying the entire time before now.

“Welcome to Punk Hazard, love. Home of unspoiled wilds, diverse flora and fauna, and the most egregious of the World Government’s human experimentation.”

You didn’t fail to notice the almost chipper way he’d said that last part too. But he just began to walk afterward, expecting you to follow.

Doflamingo’s head was down and slightly forward to keep from scraping against all those palm fronds and vines in the dense overhang of foliage.

He really didn’t care about your clear worries of not belonging here though. But why would he? He was a warlord. In all honesty, this island was likely considered part of his own jurisdiction to protect. If something went very wrong here, Doflamingo would be the nearest government weapon to call in to handle it.

But to only a captain like you, even setting foot at a place like this was all a bit much. Initially at least. Maybe nothing was really too insane to you any longer once it had enough time to settle. Yet you still couldn’t help but ask, looking up as you had to move quicker to keep pace with his longer strides. “Is Dr. Vegapunk actually here today?”

And Doflamingo scoffed a little at your continued worry. “Why? Are you a fan of his or something? He’s still just a man. An oversized brain floating around in a bag of meat like all the rest.”

“Lovely.” You answered with a roll of your eyes to that, stepping over tree roots while Doflamingo cut more brush out of the way with a few flicks of his fingers.

“Don’t blame me for unpleasant truths. But shut up for a minute.” He chided anyway as if his voice wasn’t still the louder of the two of you. “I landed out here so we wouldn’t scare them off.”

Them?

And he was starting to crouch further as he still moved forward, like an apex predator now lurking through the jungle.

But he reached back, taking you by the hand again. 

Which was still a gesture that did something to you every time his larger hand closed that warmly around your smaller one.

Doflamingo was soon pulling you along, his thumb rubbing across your skin as he did so. Like it wasn’t even a choice any longer, but a reflex or a need for him.

That simple touch distracting enough to you actually that you were watching his grip instead of straight ahead, and bumped into him when he abruptly stopped again.

“Look. There’s a damn hoard of them out here today.” His voice was quieter then as he ignored your having just run into him. He pulled you around in front, to peer through the sudden end to all the trees. 

There was a very large clearing just ahead. Flat in comparison to all else, with a body of brilliant blue water framed against even more jungle rising steep behind it.

This had to be the lake he’d spoken of to the person on the phone.

And the “them” were apparently the peppering of tall pink all throughout those tranquil shallows as your eyes widened.

A small sound of disbelief left your throat. Even if you knew better than to give in this quickly. You were still in uniform. You were still at one of the most infamous facilities in all the world. This was not shore leave or the time to goof around.

But you had never seen even a single one in person. Your home island had had no zoos. And even books could only be read if stolen by you.

If you hadn’t seen something yet in your time sailing with Tsuru, then you hadn’t seen it at all.

And oh, how Doflamingo must have realized that from the depth of your reaction as his smile grew from ear to ear. “I told you I didn’t keep any at the palace. But I never said I didn’t know where to find them.”

He crouched down further too, squatting almost to be more at your eye level. “You know, we never got all three of our days in Scylla like we’d planned to either. We got shorted on visiting their aviary and gardens together. So consider this my substitution until we can go back there, darling…let’s relax a while and enjoy it.”

And at that, he moved back past you gently, still keeping his full height lowered as he lead you out by the hand.

The two of you soon crossed a stretch of soft grass together to reach the banks of the lake.

Many slender necks rose up to watch your approach, but the birds did not take flight.

“I’ve only ever flown over this valley, not stopped at it. No humans come out this far from the labs. These birds may not even know what the hell we are.” Doflamingo reasoned quietly, still smiling as he looked out over that water and all the examples of his very namesake within it.

He and you both were keeping your movements slow and deliberate without even needing to discuss it.

You didn’t want them to leave. 

But when you were on the bit sandier, yet fully flat bank of the lake, he finally let go of your hand before he slid that mystery bag he’d taken from you earlier off of his shoulder.

You were glancing back and forth, as curious as the birds then while he unzipped it.

“Monet packed this for us. Let’s see how well she did.” He offered, though sounding already pleased and expecting just what he wanted all the while.

The first recognizable thing was a blanket. Very tightly rolled to have fit within the bag. But also impressively large when he stretched it out on the bank.

The fabric was long enough even for him as he then sat on it while continuing to dig through the bag.

“Well come here, love.” He didn’t take long to invite you over either, noticing you still standing there on your own for a moment.

This newest intimate scene was so surreal for you all over again of course. But you did listen. You sat down beside him on that soft blanket while more things kept emerging.

A wine bottle, two cups, and what appeared to be hand wrapped packages of food came out from the bag next.

He opened and laid each thing neatly out too, as purposefully as if setting a table before the two of you on the blanket. There was even silverware that you recognized with his signet on it from the palace.

“How long did you plan this?” You asked with increasing disbelief.

“Hmm?” But you could tell he was trying not to laugh. He was being playful now. “Why would I have to plan time with my own wife?”

And the word remained far too new for you. Even with that engagement ring still on your finger. No one else really knew you’d already signed those papers. That legally you were already wed.

Just legally you thought.

You stared at him long enough though that he smirked again before more legitimately answering. “I had an errand to run here tonight anyway. But I didn’t decide to fly in earlier and make an afternoon of it until this morning. I’ve got a theory that you’re entirely different when I get you alone in neutral territory. Am I on to something with that?”

He was so effortless when he wished to be.

You barely even felt his arm snake around behind you until he’d abruptly pulled you closer. Hip to hip then on the blanket before he bent down to steal a quick kiss.

His face was practically nuzzling yours while he smiled again after. “I have to take care of you too though, don’t I?” He said. “You still barely eat whenever my crew is around. Don’t think I haven’t noticed.” And he pinched the flesh of your hip a little. “I’ve already mapped out every curve of yours, darling. I see when you’ve been skipping meals. But I want my woman to have the energy to fuck and fight whenever she likes…”

Even just that much attention brought some new heat to your face too. It was objectification in a way, yet very personal all the same. And he kissed you again, like he couldn’t help it at all as his hand then wandered over your thigh to squeeze that too.

He was massaging the fabric of your leggings beneath your skirt soon enough. As if he’d prefer it not to be there at all while his tongue moved into your mouth.

That embarrassing warmth just kept rising in you too with every further movement of that long muscle against yours. Until finally he broke the deeper kiss like coming up for air. “Damn, that’s not even fair. Trying to distract me again…” He accused. But he was chuckling. 

He was enjoying everything actually, kissing you even once more before turning his gaze back to the food from behind those glasses.

“You’ll have to give me your opinion on this. I told the head chef everything I could remember of that ravioli we had in Scylla.” He said to you, then unwrapping the first package of food as he still sat side by side with you on the blanket.

And you stared. Because it did look just like it. The same size and shape entirely while Doflamingo handed you a fork.

Yet he just started opening the wine bottle next while he bid you to have the first taste of that lobster filled delicacy.

“Shit, it’s really good.” You confirmed immediately, after stabbing one and putting it in your mouth to chew. The cream sauce alone was probably something a person could drink if allowed. It was that flavorful.

“But the same kind of good?” He questioned, as if this was suddenly the most important thing in both of your lives.

And it was something else unspoken. You had just stabbed another of those ravioli onto your fork after swallowing your first one. He still had the wine bottle in one hand but was looking only at you.

You didn’t think to do it. You just did it, as you offered that ravioli up to him on your fork. And he took it as if it were second nature, bending down enough for you to feed it to him.

The Heavenly Demon let you move it into his mouth as he gladly accepted it, pulling the cream sauce with it to clean off your fork with his lips.

“Well?” You asked him as his cheeks moved while he chewed. That nagging warmth in your chest still spreading even more while you watched him.

“Fuck, I’m going to have to give him a raise.” Doflamingo answered before even swallowing.

He was right too. About that and more.

Because you were different with him when outside of your normal territories. You both were as he poured the wine next. He had completely relaxed.

And every single piece of that ravioli ended up eaten between the two of you. As well as the dessert he’d also brought.

It was those flowers made of pastry layers overlapping like the petals of a rose. The ones he’d had to tell you the name of again of course. Flores de hojaldre.

He’d remembered that you’d never gotten to actually try one the last time they’d been presented to you, though you had admired them. 

During that very first dinner together in his palace. The one that had dissolved into a screaming argument and drugged sex instead that you hadn’t had much say in.

You still knew better than to see this gesture as a real apology though, even as he smirked at you while you’d tried one and messily ended up with a bit of powdered sugar on your face before he’d wiped it off for you.

He ate them far more cleanly than you too as he’d explained how they were made and how he preferred his with powdered sugar and honey, but no fruit. Though he’d said even in Dressrosa recipes varied wildly, with some savory varieties existing as well with fish wrapped into the pastry layers instead.

It’d just been so low stakes by then. Sitting here, drinking wine and talking about pastries of all things while watching the still wary flamingos walking around in the water before he’d finally laid back on the blanket when done eating.

“You really never experienced much as kid, did you. Besides just surviving in that brothel?” He asked you.

A question not entirely unexpected as you looked down at him and his sunglasses now reflecting that sunny sky above.

“We didn’t have pastry chefs, no.” You answered easily. “Or exotic birds.”

He smiled a little again, but it was not a mocking one for once. “I didn’t always have those things either.” He eventually offered back. “I was without them for more years than I had them.”

And you raised an eyebrow. You weren’t sure if he was inviting you to pry further or not. Maybe you were too honest for your own good though. 

You weren’t even supposed to be having alcohol while in uniform either. But you finished your cup, finally just damn asking him. “Is your past some kind of big secret or something?”

Yet you then found yourself laying right beside him no sooner than those words had left your mouth.

He hadn’t used strings. Just his arm around your middle again after pulling you down, and his other now back behind his head.

You were both laying there together on the blanket then, looking up at the passing clouds that abruptly.

He rubbed your side before he spoke again. “I had it all. Then I lost it, and I had to fight for it all over again.”

“You were born wealthy?” He didn’t seem defensive. So you just kept going. Tentatively, but still trying to understand more if he’d let you.

“Very.” Was his next simple answer.

And you believed him. You thought of the pet swans he’d once mentioned, and the ways he’d carried himself amongst the other nobles in Scylla. The graceful waltzes and the condescending words to others.

But also his story of being a young boy fleeing violence with his father and brother. Starving in the war torn area where he’d first met Tsuru. 

“Did your home country have a revolution?” You asked even more quietly, feeling warm again against him.

The government didn’t always rush in in every case you knew. Sometimes they wanted islands to fall depending what ulterior motives might really be at stake.

They’d left Charybdis crumbling for ages now.

“No.” Doflamingo clarified though. Yet his hand tightened on your hip again. He turned his head so he could look at your face.

You saw yourself in those red glasses again.

“I have more enemies than you realize.” He said instead then, just staying like this beside you. “They’ll be your enemies too if anything takes a turn.”

Your eyebrows furrowed a little. It felt like you’d already experienced that with Crocodile in just the first few days in Dressrosa. But you still asked anyway. “Who?”

Doflamingo turned his face even more then, so that it touched yours. His skin was still quite soft from whatever lather he’d used this morning. His scent was heady and pleasant.

“All the way at the very top, my love.” He teased then, his voice quieting further like these words were truly only for you. “The gods have an axe to grind when it comes to me. And that feeling is entirely mutual.” 

“Just because you robbed the Dragons’ tribute ships?” You responded just as quietly, as his lips started to brush your temple. 

The sheer balls of that heist only a few years ago had been the final straw that put Doflamingo’s name in everyone’s mouths across all the seas.

You remembered Tsuru being beside herself, furious as she’d cursed in her office when Sengoku had called your crew with the news first. Even before it ever made the newspapers.

The sheer audacity of the Donquixote family to pillage a world government transport ship filled to the brim with beri meant as heavenly tribute had been a terrible embarrassment to the marines at the time.

But that was also the very same stunt that had had Doflamingo bullying his way into the seven warlords’ roster not long after.

And then he’d become a king.

And then he’d taken you.

You were hardly as valuable as the riches owed to the gods, or the ownership of an entire country though.

Yet he seemed so content here and now. At least enough to roll over onto his side, facing you with his whole body then. 

He pulled his feather coat around you both, bringing you against his chest. “Oh, they hate me for far more than just taking my cut retroactively.” 

It was an odd choice of words, and your face likely said as much.

“Not yet.” Doflamingo smiled to your expression of additional question however, choosing not to explain that particular answer any further. “I only just got you back into a good mood after all.”

“Is that what this is supposed to be? My attitude adjustment?” You countered, accepting that that would be all for now then. But you were also watching that smart mouth hovering near yours again. He was still holding you against his chest, enveloped in pink together.

“Mmhmm.” He purred warmly. “You love this. It’s why you’ve been too busy staring at me instead of noticing what visitors have been creeping up on us all the while. No sudden movements, darling.”

But you raised your head anyway. Not understanding what he meant until you surprised both yourself and the birds.

It must have seemed like your disembodied head abruptly rising from the pink feathers that would otherwise be so familiar to them.

Because there was an immediate flutter of wings, with the curious birds that had gotten this incredibly close then startling as they ran into one another after your surprise movement. 

They were all legs, necks, and wings then. But they still didn’t fully leave. They stumbled and bounced off of one another in their confusion. It was the most awkward thing you’d ever seen out of an animal so beautiful.

But that wasn’t the thing that tilted your brain into genuine humor.

It was the sound they made as they did this. They’d been fairly quiet in the distance all the time before, warily watching you both while they’d only walked and fed in the shimmering lake waters.

But in this upset of being frightened enough to fall and stumble, their small exploratory group now broke out into a cacophony of indignant honking.

It was so loud and ridiculous. A sound that didn’t match their exotic, elegant bodies at all. It was as embarrassing as a common goose now having a fit before you.

And you burst out laughing with that unexpected contrast. Which only made them honk more, and you laugh further, feeding one another’s reactions.

You finally had to bury your face against Doflamingo’s shirt to quiet yourself with your shoulders still shaking a little.

His arm tightened around you again as soon as you did, and you could hear that huge smile without looking up.

“Hell, maybe I do need to bring a few home with us then. That’s now only one of two things I’ve ever heard pull a real laugh out of you.”

Yes, you never did this. Not around him at least as you had to regather yourself.

The birds still hung around though after they eventually settled back down. The ice broken so to speak now that they had seen you both up close and neither of you had actually harmed them.

You turned your head to watch them again even as your cheek stayed against the warlord. “I can’t help it…they honk. No book ever said anything about that.” You told him.

And now he chuckled, that lighter kind even though it still rumbled up from his chest. “You’re such a cute little mutt sometimes.”

That term that should have been insulting, wasn’t either right now. Not when you could hear the real pleasure in his own voice still.

The happiness.

Doflamingo was happy.

Yet he was already ready for your full attention again too. His hand came up, catching your jaw to make you lift your head back towards his own.

Enough so that he could kiss you once more. Again and again actually, but slow and soft while the birds remained around you.

And with you both still nestled in all Doflamingo’s pink feathers yourselves, you may as well have been another pair of them here on the lake’s edge. Oblivious to the rest of the world in this brief escape with your partner.

——————————

“You’re a voyeur! I never want to hear your holier than thou admonishments again!” Caesar  scolded the other scientist gladly. Not seeming to take into account how fully his own golden eyes had never once looked away from this security monitor now either.

“It’s unexpected isn’t it?” Dr. Vegapunk only answered with a question, not insulted at all as he had stopped holding any weight to Caesar’s habitual outbursts years before now. Of course he was interested in what he was now seeing. But not for the reasons Caesar accused of.

Donquixote Doflamingo had arrived dramatically to the island earlier as he typically did. But after a brief call to announce himself, he’d just stayed to the virgin wilds this time. On the other side of the mountains from the laboratories.

The warlord had never lazed or lingered like this before today. Everything was always business, in and out as fast as possible. And he was always alone.

Yet not right now as Vegapunk and Caesar still watched a distant view of you and the so called Heavenly Demon in one another’s arms, being a bit intimate again while laying on a large blanket.

Even the flamingos had surprisingly accepted this new oddity, just walking around unbothered again and preening or resting near you both on the banks of the lake.

“Is this very strange to you as well Caesar? You know him better, don’t you?” Vegapunk asked that additional question with his brows still furrowed in wrinkles all the way up his tall forehead. “I had assumed she would only be a pawn in his control unwillingly. Yet he doesn’t appear to be using the parasite ability of the String-String fruit.”

And Caesar made a noise, pale face flushing slightly as he saw the pink of Joker’s tongue edge against your face. “Well, maybe she isn’t wholly stupid!” Caesar had always assumed the majority of marines were. Because who would willingly sign up to be fodder for any and all enemies of the government? “She wants to be rich, obviously! The treasury in Dressrosa is worth submitting for!” Caesar projected his own desires with that idea of course.

But Vegapunk still looked doubtful. He was watching far more than the obviously budding hormones and physical aspect of these interactions.

He’d seen the two of you talking and laughing too, though even his advanced snail cams couldn’t pickup the actual words from this far away.

But he could see the gestures and the body language the same as any biologist might while observing courting animal species. While you fed one another, and nested together. It was all a process.

And in the thoroughness of his ever analytical mind, Vegapunk was determining this as an anomaly. An already mated pair on far more equal footing and with a higher level of consent than the two of you had any natural right to have.

Because he now knew what Doflamingo really was. It was all over those incestuous lineage factors he’d stayed up all night sifting more thoroughly through.

The Donquixote name itself, and even the epithet of Heavenly Demon were obvious clues to begin with. But names could be falsified, public personas created at random.

The real proof was in the fact that there was only one land in all the world with exactly those same poor genetics, brought on from centuries of no immigration and no mixing of bloodlines outside of an original nineteen families.

Vegapunk had never seen a Celestial Dragon who could accept the company of a human in this way.

This was something new.

“Caesar, go ahead and call that man to tell him his medicines are ready early. But I want to have a private word with him before they leave.”

———————————

    T⨂  BE 

CONTINUED

———————————

Thanks for reading!

Author’s Note: Yes, Punk Hazard (pre Caesar blowing it up anyway) does have a flamingo lake! 🥰 It was one of my greatest joys to find out. Even though it’s probably just an anime filler scene. It’s shown in Brownbeard’s flashback. Episode 589, timestamp 13:36.

Also, those flower pastries…I am obsessed with the google images of them. I want one. 😩

[sharinluna]

Chapter 16 Analysis - The Greatest of These is Love

I try to stick to the canon English version text as much as possible. But in this analysis I had to take some liberties and merge my own translation, because sometimes Elex translation just doesn’t fit with the purpose of my analysis. So please excuse me.

1. Hades’s Reset Plan

A Black Swan member called Hades is trying to put his Reset Plan to action.

Hades: Complete slaughter is the highest respect one can pay to a civilization. Not everyone is fit to become an Evolver. This world belongs to us, and those low-level creatures that do nothing but breed had lived too long.

The rest of Black Swan is skeptical about this plan however, calling it “a powerless clown’s ridiculous trick.” However, Hades thinks the Reset Plan should be carried out because “the previous operations were too slow.”

We can speculate here that what Hades’s trying to do is considered unreasonably aggressive and nonsensically radical even to Black Swan. Hades wants Ares to work with him, but Ares maintains a “Let’s see how well you do on your own first” attitude.

2. Flu Investigation

The news on the TV was talking about a new, mysterious flu that was sweeping the city. The presenting symptoms were the same as regular flu: cold, fever, weakness. They’re calling it a flu, but none of the current antibiotics or cold medications are effective against it. There haven’t been any deaths, but the number of infected has been steadily increasing. The national laboratories have all been working to find a pathogen, but to no result. The virus is spreading faster than anything, and lack of information is making people more worried.

Perry from chapter 15 had this flu. It seems that this strange influenza is spreading. When Yōurán arrives at her office, she overhears the security guards talking and gets suspicious.

Guard A: Did you hear? Smitty got sick. His wife said he couldn’t remember her.

He didn’t even remember his own wife… How is that a symptom of a flu?

Gavin is away and Victor is in the future. Lucien turned Ares on her and Kiro is missing. Yōurán consults the only Evolver she knows: Dr. Song(the Evolver doctor from chapter 13). They figure out the truth of this flu.

Yōurán: Demographics typically vulnerable to diseases like the elderly and small children only make up a small percentage of the infected. Most are in their primes.

Usually, the elderly and small children who have weaker immune systems are the likely target for the flu. But this time, it’s the opposite. Healthy, young people are getting infected by this new flu instead.

Dr. Song: That’s right. Aside from that, I’ve found that out of all the infected, not one is an Evolver. My guess is that the virus is selecting based on genetics.

As the both women figure out, the virus is intentionally infecting healthy, strong, ordinary non-Evolvers.

Later, Yōurán goes to visit a flu patient.

His file said he’d been in a coma for about 10 days, during which he got up once as if sleep walking and tried to assault bystanders with a blunt object. His symptoms were the same as Perry.

She uses her powers to see the man’s future to get the next clue.

I saw him fallen on the ground, his face pale, his eyes about to bulge out of his head, his entire body shaking.

Pretty familiar with Perry at the end of chapter 15, right?

Let’s link their findings with Hades’s Reset Plan. I’m going to guess what Hade’s Reset Plan is in four steps.

Step 1: Hades spreads the virus.

Step 2: The virus infects healthy non-Evolvers who are likely to survive the symptoms.

Step 3: Some people manage to overcome the virus by “evolving”, aka attaining Evol genes and becoming Evolvers. Those who cannot form Evol genes or cannot handle the process die.

Step 4: All non-Evolvers are dead and only Evolvers are left on this earth.

3. Two Conflicting Feelings.

News: Lucien Bioscience Research Center announced a press conference for tomorrow regarding a new reagent targeting the recent flu outbreak.

It had been a long while since I’d heard that name. Ever since that day he disappeared from my life. I asked myself once, did I hate him? But the answer was no. This world is not black and white, and I won’t judge people using just one perspective of right and wrong.

Even though Lucien “betrayed” Yōurán in chapter 13, she can’t hate him. Still, it hurts so much that she doesn’t want to think about him ever again. But that alone tells us that she has lingering feelings for him yet.

I didn’t know what I was running away from. Was I scared to hear those doubts I’d already heard straight from his mouth? Did I want to avoid confirming that this virus was connected to him, so that my rational mind wouldn’t be able to connect the dots? Or was it… that I just didn’t want to face him?

She has two conflicting feelings. She wants to go to the conference and see Lucien again, but at the same time, she wants to stay far away from him to avoid dealing with all this.

In flight or fight, Yōurán has never chosen the former. She decides to go to the press conference regardless of what the consequences might be.

4. The Press Conference

The press conference is my favorite scene in chapter 16 nay, the entire End of Abyss arc. Sadly, I saw a lot of translation errors in this part and some word choices were just not adequate. So please excuse me if some of the quotes are not exactly word-for-word of the Elex version text.

Lucien: I wish that more people would be test subjects. The advance of science is a continuous sacrifice. And deaths and injury along the way due to mistakes are inevitable.

I couldn’t help but worry for him. What was Lucien trying to do speaking cruel truths so frankly? For him, this was all perfectly reasonable. An unpleasant feeling welled up inside me. I wanted to get out of here.

Notice here that Yōurán doesn’t exactly think that Lucien is wrong. She just thinks that he is being cruel. She said earlier that she doesn’t hate Lucien based on the fact that there’s no one correct principle of right and wrong. However, his nonchalant attitude of accepting inevitable deaths as “reasonable” is what upsets her.

Yōurán: I want to ask Professor Lucien a question. What is this “sacrifice” you speak of?

Lucien: Physiological death.

Yōurán: That is to say, it’s normal to sacrifice the minority for the whole of society?

Lucien: Yes. I personally wholeheartedly agree with this statement.

It’s easy to misunderstand her stance on this because Yōurán is against sacrifice in general. But she doesn’t say that sacrifice should be forbidden at all costs. However, a society that demands individual sacrifice to maintain itself is problematic.

Lucien: Like the classic Trolley Problem. Choosing left or right will both land you in a moral quandary. But in reality, whether it’s for societal advancement or not, many people will be eliminated for a variety of reasons, by death or other means. So whether we want to face it or not, survival of the fittest is an eternal principle of existence. It’s what keeps humanity going.

Yōurán: In your eyes, is life so capricious? All life forms should be respected. Every one of us is doing their best to survive. It’s what every person desires and deserves. Their will to keep on living is their right. And you can’t deprive people of this.

Lucien talks that the survival of the fittest is the principle, while Yōurán talks about the natural rights that all people are inherently born with. Every individual on earth have a right to live. She is asking Lucien: Are you so readily throwing that out the window for the continuation of the rest of society?

Yōurán: Maybe you didn’t notice, but there are hospitals full of critically ill people. They may be comatose, but their consciousness still cling to life. Kids in foster care, the broke and homeless, they’re all struggling to survive.

I was confused at first when she said this, but now I understand what she is saying. There may be some volunteers for Lucien’s research, but believing that all test subjects will be willing participants is naïve.

Realistically, homeless people, those who can’t afford continued medical care, or people who have little to no financial support will be the ones who’ll be so-called “volunteers” for this experiment. While the rich sit back and wait for the cure to come out that’s based on the lives of these unfortunate sacrifices. Sacrificing these people with low socioeconomic status to sustain the rest in the name of “survival of the fittest” is a form of discrimination.

Lucien: You have a point. But you speak from the point of view of the minority, and therein arises the paradox. People cannot think in purely logical terms. That is a property of the divine. From primitive society to today, humanity has been sacrificed in political struggle, and died on the battlefields of war. But for some of these people, that sacrifice has been pointless. Fairness is not the only principle. As a cornerstone of civilization, survival stands above all. If it can bring incredible progress, then that sacrifice shouldn’t even require their permission.

But to Lucien, all of that throughout the history of wars and political struggle can be justified in the name of survival. He goes further and says that for survival, people should be sacrificed even against their will.

Sidenote: My thoughts.

Figuring out what’s right and wrong is always difficult and there’s no one right answer. But I lean more on Yōurán’s side. Historically, researches like Lucien’s have always been unethical. We should outgrow the necessary evil of human subject research.

“Sacrifice the few for the whole” is a touchy subject. In reality, many people in position of power or the majority have used that logic to justify their oppression of the minority. And many times humanity chose to sacrifice a small part of their society instead of looking for an alternate solution because it’s more efficient or faster.

Even if sacrifices are unavoidable, the attitude of how you treat people to be sacrificed is important. Do you respect them and feel guilty? Are you careful not to treat them as mere tools for a goal? Did you try your very best to minimize the sacrifice? Did you keep looking for other options until there was absolutely no choice left? I’m afraid that Lucien’s answers for these questions would be all negatives. He is too practical. He doesn’t care about sentiment. If it’s a way to solve problems efficiently he just does it with no emotional attachments, because they are a hindrance to achieving what has to be done.

But when it comes to these matters, maybe we need some hindrances that come from our conscience. Maybe feeling regret is the courtesy we owe to the people we killed so that we could live. Being indifferent to sacrifices is worse than the sacrifice itself. Reluctance and hesitance should always be accompanied when deciding whether we should sacrifice or not. Because when sacrificing a part of us becomes too easy, we will keep chucking out bits and pieces until there is none of us left.

5. Trying to Sever Ties (and Failing)

The conversation between the two becomes more personal at this point.

Yōurán: If… the person to be sacrificed was you, would you be willing?

Lucien: I would. If it meant allowing humanity to take a great stride forward, I would happily do so.

Yōurán: And what if it was someone important to you?

But Lucien just looks at her, not answering the question. Thinking that the unspoken answer is “Yes”, Yōurán falls into despair. At this point, she gives up on him.

Yōurán: Thank you for your answer, and good luck with your research, but I could never support your beliefs. Because in my heart there’s something that will always be more important than survival.

In chapter 16, Yōurán tries to sever all ties with Lucien, but she still has lingering attachments. I already said this in my chapter 15 analysis. The importance of “bonds” is a key element in her nature. No matter how hard she tries, her connection to Lucien can never be cut. Even if it pains her, she cannot bring herself to discard it.

Yōurán: My relationship with Professor Lucien is purely for business, and in the future Miracle Finder will have a new program consultant. I ask that everyone focus on the press conference. Excuse me.

Later she founds out that she left behind the pen Lucien gave her. She can’t abandon it and goes back for it, but when she’s found it she gives it back to Lucien.

Lucien gave her the pen as a way of giving his heart and she is giving it back to him. But because of what happened in chapter 13 he understands and accepts it back.

However, he’s not so accepting that he’s losing yet another connection with her: an excuse to approach her again. Probably the last one left.

Lucien: I just learned I’ve been let go from Miracle Finder. Is it out of line to ask for an explanation?

Yōurán: You’ve strayed from the principles that Miracle Finder strives to uphold. In my mind, the Miracle Finder is about justice and tolerance.

Lucien: Very understandable. I accept your explanation.

Yōurán refuses him because their principles are complete opposite. Lucien accepts her decision but this time she’s the one who’s hesitant to let him go.

Yōurán: Wait! Are you connected with this recent flu?

Please, oh please let your answer be no.

She is just desperately clutching at straws here. She knows what the answer is.

Lucien: Yes.

Hearing those words, something came crashing down in my heart.

Confirmation that she and Lucien are walking different paths.

6. Even if I Had the Gift of Prophesy

Lucien: The justice and goodness you uphold, has it gotten you the results you want? Is that what you think is more important than survival? I’d also like to know, in the face of what you value, would you sacrifice someone important to you?

In the press conference, Yōurán asked Lucien if he would sacrifice someone important for his survival of the fittest belief. Here Lucien is asking her the same thing. Would she abandon someone important to her to uphold her belief of what’s right?

Before she can answer, she is attacked (by Hades) and Lucien instantly pulls her into his arms protecting her.

An instant worry and fear flashed in his eyes, as if… he was afraid of losing something precious. But that look vanished instantly.

Time seemed to have jumped back to a month ago, when he was still Lucien. At that time he was also holding me tight like this… protecting me.

Yōurán: Are you alright? Thanks for saving me.

Lucien: I was just ensuring your safety.

Yōurán: My safety…. is needed in your plan, right?

Lucien: Of course. I don’t engage in worthless endeavors.

The last time we faced off, the people dressed in black also said to make sure I was alive. It was always like that. So all those times he protected me before was also like that.

To Yōurán, it seems like Lucien is saving her just because he needs her alive to use in his scheme. That his feelings for her were not real.

Lucien: Now, answer my question.

Lucien was still blocking my path. I couldn’t see his face clearly through the haze. Maybe this haziness was for the better.

To Yōurán, Lucien’s true intentions has always been vague since chapter 13. Does he care for her? Or was all that a lie? Him giving mixed signals in chapter 16 certainly doesn’t help. 

In the end, she decides to go along with this vagueness. She cannot abandon her principles nor can she abandon her ties with Lucien. Without the haze, she would have to face the fact that Lucien is blocking her “path” her belief. In ambiguity, she doesn’t have to choose one for the other.

Yōurán: I wouldn’t. If I had the gift of prophesy and knew all kinds of secrets and knowledge… If I had faith to move mountains, but didn’t have love, then none of it would count for anything. The truth of this world unfolds itself for people only through disappointment and suffering. Even if the light’s source is put out, I’d still try to keep my own shining. No matter how difficult, or how dark it gets. Or how foolish or ridiculous. Someone very important to me once taught me that, and I’ll never forget it.

Lucien first quoted The Corinthians in chapter 13 “For now we see through a glass, darkly.”

Now, Yōurán is quoting lines from The Corinthians too. “If I had the gift of prophesy and knew all kinds of secrets and knowledge… If I had faith to move mountains, but didn’t have love, then none of it would count for anything.”

It’s delicious irony that Lucien is the one who taught her to keep following her own principle when he himself is against it.

In this scene, Yōurán’s greatest strength shines in her words. She may not have powers to move mountains, she may not have all secrets and knowledge. But she has faith, hope, and love. And the greatest of these is love. Against all odds, she will never stop pursuing the light.

7. Despite Everything, My Heart Still Goes out to You

In a flash, an unlikely person popped into my head. Why would I think of him? The next image in my mind was the anxious way he looked at me during that danger just now. I closed my eye and decided to take a chance. That he’d save me, that what I’d seen in his eyes was really there.

After their confrontation, Yōurán faces danger in a deserted alley. She remembers the fleeting moment when she thought she saw genuine fear in Lucien’s eyes and decides to gamble on that to ensure her safety. 

Also, even with her multiple tries to sever Lucien from her heart, in times of danger, her thoughts automatically go to him. At the least, Ares said that he needed her alive for his scheme.

And she won in this gamble. Because he did come for her.

Yōurán: Did you really come to save me?

Lucien: I am a man of my word.

Yōurán: Is that also for your goal too?

Lucien: Yes.

Although I had guessed it, hearing it from his own mouth made my heart sink.

Lucien is only telling the half-truth here. His heart truly yearns for her and wants her to be safe. But he doesn’t tell her that, letting Yōurán think that she is just a means to his end.

Meanwhile, Yōurán is still wavering between seeing him as Lucien and seeing him as Ares. Her head tells her that he is her enemy Ares, but her heart keeps pining after Lucien, the gentle scholar who asked her to teach him how to love in New Light Date.

But we already know what her answer will be. She subconsciously keeps reaching out for him.

Lucien: Why aren’t you asking me about what just happened?

Yōurán: But you’re bleeding…

She just saw Lucien kill a man in cold blood(well, it turns out later that this was just a dream and not real but still) but instead of being scared she is worried that he is injured.

Hades thinks that Yōurán is Ares’s weak spot and tries to use her to threaten Ares into working with him.

Lucien: You think the weak spots I let you see, are really weak spots?

But Lucien is one step of Hades. He already knew that Hades would try to get to Yōurán and devised a way to get back at him.

Lucien: Remember the exit I told you about. Cross over. Don’t hesitate.

My heart sunk like lead, and a sudden, intense feeling of dread welled up, almost to my throat.

Lucien: Now, leave my side.

Yōurán: No! You…

Lucien: Do as I say. I will find you.

He spoke in that familiar old tender tone, and then the next second, he shoved me away.

Yōurán: Lucien!

Lucien turned his head and gazed into my eyes. His eyes were as before, tender as the falling tide. There was even a hint of a warm, crisp smile, the likes of which I never saw before.

This smile is probably the most earnest expression he made to her. Pure and sincere with no hidden sides.

I’d never imagined I’d face a situation like this with Lucien. I ran on, and the sound of fighting in the distance grew more intense, along with my tears. I kept telling myself, Lucien would be fine. He was clearly my enemy, only saving me for his own purposes. I had resolved to be done with him… So why does it hurt so much?

I stopped, my trembling body simply unable to take the next step. My heart felt like it was being ripped apart. I couldn’t breathe as if someone was gripping my heart tightly.

As she is running towards the exit that Lucien told her, Yōurán keeps telling herself, Ares is my enemy. I shouldn’t be connected to him anymore. But her heart, her reasons for going on in life, are based on the bonds she’d formed with others, including Lucien. How can she cut that lose when he’s a part of herself?

8. Will You Sacrifice Someone Important to You?

Hades: Ares, I’ll give you one last chance, join me. I will create a world different from today’s, for Evolvers’ only. Advanced, free, beautiful. Isn’t that what you’ve always wanted to see?

Ares: Fool. That world will never exist. An advanced civilization can never be created. It can only be reached by selection and evolution. Your so-called creation is just an excuse to hide your incompetence.

At the risk of oversimplifying things, Ares is telling Hades that he thinks the Reset Plan is stupid. Eliminating non-Evolvers won’t stop the struggle of survival of the fittest.

Yōurán: Lucien!

All in an instant, looks of shock, doubt and disbelief came over him, as well as a joy that he hadn’t shown before, mixed with the others.

Lucien is showing many emotions here. Shock that she still hadn’t left the dream. Doubt whether he is seeing her for real. Disbelief that she would abandon her safety again. And Joy. Pure, primitive delight that she still cares for him enough to throw her life out for him.

Lucien: Why didn’t you listen? Don’t you even care for your own life?!

This is the first time that Lucien ever yelled at Yōurán. (erase the True Love Date from your memory) This is one of the scarce times that Lucien loses his cool and reveals his true emotions raw and bare.

I yelled back at Lucien in a tone I never knew I had.

Yōurán: Liar! You had no intention of coming to find me, did you?! You deceived me every time! This time I’m not falling for it!

(By the way, I would put Yōurán’s words in capitals if I were the translator, to emphasize the yelling when she’s usually soft-spoken.)

I love that Yōurán didn’t put up with his I’m-only-saving-you-for-my-goal nonsense. I love that she saw through Lucien acting like Ares and forced out the truth that he truly loves her. I love that she was more upset that he lied about him being safe than the fact that he lied about him being part of Black Swan.

I’m sorry, but if I just go and let you take all the danger, I’ll never be able to forgive myself. Even if we are enemies. I still want to prove to you that even in the darkness, I’ll persist in my faith.

In the end, the question is he Lucien or is he Ares didn’t matter. That he was her enemy and have opposing beliefs from her didn’t matter. All that mattered in the end was that Lucien was the one who taught her to keep pursuing her light, and she was the one who taught him how to love. The unbreakable bond between them.

Lucien: Yōurán, Do you want to know my answer from the press conference?

Finally, finally, Lucien answers truthfully to her questions in the press conference. The first time he didn’t evade her questions regarding his feelings with silence.

Lucien: I won’t. I won’t sacrifice someone important to me. That is my answer.

I am infinitely glad that Lucien said this to her, and also infinitely mad that she forgot this in the end.

Lucien grabs her hand, and Yōurán sees a vision of Lucien’s past memories.

A white moonbeam appeared instantly before my eyes, solidifying into a blade, striking at me. A split second later there was a rupture, and a black liquid flowed from my pupil. For a moment, color was restored to my vision. I saw a pair of bloody eyes flicker past me. Then it was all black-and-white scenes of the TV tower, the park, the research center… As well as, a black-and-white me.

This makes me think that Lucien lost his ability to see Yōurán in color when he stabbed his eye in chapter 13. If he could still see her in color, he would have noticed her coming back for him earlier. He lost his only color in the world for her.

9. Hazy Like a Fog

Yōurán: Lucien, you’re hurt!

Lucien: You knew it was dangerous. Why did you come back?

Yōurán: Because you saved me. I couldn’t just abandon you.

She came back because Lucien is part of her. When he gets hurt, she gets hurt too. When he dies, the part of Yōurán that belongs to Lucien dies too. She cannot break the tie that pulls her towards him.

Lucien: I saved you because it’s better for me if you’re alive.

He seemed to always be stressing this point.

Yōurán: So why did you tell me the direction of the exit and make me leave by myself… Why didn’t you go with me? Didn’t you consider your own safety?

(Yōurán: Don’t play dumb with me, mister. I know you love me.)

Then she learns that all of this was part of Lucien’s plan. That her coming back for him had no influence in it.

Had he planned all of this?! And he didn’t tell me! All the while I cried like a fool, agonized over decisions, and left myself be vulnerable again and again! Liar!

KR translation is a bit different here.

I cried endlessly like a fool, I kept making choices endlessly, and I endlessly took out and looked at my feelings(heart) and agonized over them! Liar!

Notice the repetition of “endlessly” is used to describe the depth of what she felt before she made her decision to come back for Lucien. I would love to know what JP and CN translations are.

But still this liar hadn’t hurt me once the whole way though… My heart overflowed with loss, grief, doubt… a complex wave of emotions.

Again, her emotions regarding Lucien becomes a complicated mess.

A large hand suddenly covered my eyes, feeling slightly cold.

Yōurán: And I’ll forget everything that’s happened here too?

There was a long pause, and then I heard Lucien’s soft voice.

Lucien: yes.

Then I felt his finger tremble a bit, and my heart trembled with it.

Yōurán: Lucien… what kind of person are you really… Why even though we are enemies, do you always save me risking everything? Why do you always push me away again after saving me… Why can I see the futures of other people, but not yours…

Whenever she tries to discern Lucien, she is met with a vague fog. She got his answer to the question: Would he sacrifice someone important for his goal? But more questions came up that would never get answers. Even the one answer she got is about to be taken away from her.

10. Back to the Real Owner

Lucien carefully took out a pen from his pocket and placed it in the girl’s hand.

I said before that Lucien’s pen means Lucien’s heart. Yōurán tried to give it back to Lucien.

Then he leaned over and whispered into her ear:

Lucien: Next time, don’t rush into danger by yourself. Especially, on my account.

This scene reminds me of the end of chapter 15 when Gavin whispers to unconscious Yōurán to wait for him to come back. It hurts that she doesn’t receive the final messages they send to her before they leave her.

11. Again, Alone with Only a Memento

Just like in the end of chapter 15, Yōurán wakes up in her room alone. But this time, she forgot what has happened to her.

Large beads of sweat fell from my forehead. I opened my eyes to a pitch black ceiling. Black-and-white images were scrolling through my head. Too bad those images were like photo negatives and too blurred to make out.

I remembered I was being followed on a street. How was I waking up in my house all of a sudden? There seemed to be a chuck missing, but I couldn’t put a finger on it.

Although she doesn’t remember it, everything she felt still remains in her heart.

When I thought of Lucien’s name again, an intense feeling of grief and longing washed over me.

Because you can’t erase feelings even when you erase memories. PTSD patients sometimes forget what they went through that caused their trauma, but they can still feel the pain and suffering they felt. But they don’t know why they are hurting.

This was when I seriously began to worry about Yōurán. In real life, she needs professional help.

In chapter 16 she tries to put a distance between Lucien but fails utterly and admits to herself that she can never stop caring for Lucien. But after all they went through, her memories, her decisions, her revelations are gone. She feels empty, and sad.

She is only left with Lucien’s “Iridescent” pen. Just like with Gavin and his ginkgo bracelet.

12. Conclusion – This Love Hurts Like Hell, but It will be Worth It.

The press conference and chapter 16 in general depicted what I love the most about Lucien X Yōurán relationship. Their love goes very deep. Enough for Lucien to not hand her over to Black Swan and enough for Yōurán to trust him despite suspecting that he has hidden agenda.

Still, their ideas about humanity and morals are different and they clash. I like that none of them is abandoning their principles for the sake of love. I like that a female character has enough agency to have her own opinions that contradicts that of the male love interest. Instead of passively accepting the thoughts of her lover.

Their continued war of words. This is how the thoughts of great philosophies are made. They both stand firm in their ground. They’re on opposing sides and will battle each other ferociously. However, they still love each other and would go to great lengths to keep each other safe. Can you imagine the euphoria when despite all hurdles their love triumphs all in the end?

“No degree in love’s progress was left untried by our passion, and if love itself could imagine any wonder as yet unknown, we discovered it.” – Historia Calamitatum

[myaekingheart]

48. I Didn’t Know I Was Pregnant

read the scarecrow and the bell on ao3

index | from the beginning | < previous | next >

LISTEN when I found out that Dave Wittenberg, English VA for Kakashi, is also the narrator of I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant, I knew I had no choice but to make a whole damn chapter about this and I honestly lose my shit every time I think about it. I have watched so many fucking clips on Youtube for reference, I have heard Kakashi fucking Hatake say shit like "contractions" and "prenatal care" and "placenta" so many damn times, OH MY GOD. I just can't handle it x'D

Here, just bask in these 40 minutes of glory. And stay out of the maternity ward from now on, Kakashi. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7hgMb-ca6Cc

               From high above, the citizens of Konoha looked like living dolls strolling along their predetermined routes just the same as any other day. There was no variety, no excitement. Just boring people going about their boring lives. Rei squinted up at the sky, trying to decipher what time it was. Maybe it was the stress, or she was overworking herself, but she was trapped in one of those cycles where she felt as if somewhere down the line she had stumbled over her own two feet and couldn’t regain her balance, eventually destined to smack face-first into the dirt.

               Since Sasuke’s defection, Lady Tsunade had insisted they tighten security in Konoha just to be safe. Rei understood it was, of course, a valid precaution, but after weeks of absolutely nothing extraordinary, she was beginning to grow weary with the extended work hours. With so much time and nothing to do, her mind wandered often, namely to Kakashi. While he seemed fine on the surface, deep down she knew he was hurting. He was reminded of his failure as a sensei every single day. It weighed so heavily on him, the stress was almost even making Rei sick. There was too much going on, and the threat of something coming from Sasuke’s actions terrified her. Lately, her stomach had been in knots and she had hardly been getting any sleep. If only things would just go back to normal, but she knew that was something she never had any control over. She would just have to suck it up and deal with it, even if that felt impossible.

               The cry of a merchant advertising his wares tugged Rei out of her daze. She glanced over to him and his cart of fresh produce, overhearing him prattle on about how watermelon was in season to a woman who only looked mildly interested. Out of all of the familiar faces below, hers was the one Rei didn’t recognize and it stirred in her something suspicious. She zeroed in, watching the girl politely decline the man’s offer and walk away. Every few minutes, she would stop and bow her head, clenching her fists at her sides as if she was stifling fury.

               Rei’s mind burst into overdrive. There was something sketchy going on here, and she was determined to get to the bottom of it. Camouflaging herself with her chameleon jutsu, she leapt down into the street and tried to gauge whether there was more to this than met the eye. The closer she crept, the clearer it became that what Rei had thought was anger was actually…pain. Her heart raced in her chest, her mind immediately suspecting genjutsu. An almost debilitating fear of Itachi’s return chilled every bone in her body. And then, without a second of hesitation, the woman ducked into a nearby alley and fell to her knees gasping in defeat.

               In one fluid motion, Rei snuck up behind the woman and slammed a chakra point in her neck. The woman cried out in pain and curled up, arms wrapped around her stomach. After a few moments, however, it was clear that Rei’s preconceived notions were yet again false. Her chakra did not reset. This was not genjutsu. She was in real, physical pain.

               Rei whipped around to the front of the woman, tilting her chin up harshly and settling the blade of her kunai against her neck. “Who are you and what’s your intention here? Tell me, now!” Rei insisted. The woman stared squarely back at Rei, panting and sweating. Her gaze was overflowing with fear and desperation, a special breed of pain Rei had only seen once before in the face of a little girl whose father she had taken away many years prior. A shiver ran down Rei’s spine. “Fine, don’t answer me then” she spat, releasing the girl’s chin with a quick flick of her wrist. There were other ways to gain intel.

               Snatching up her satchel, Rei began rummaging through the inside in hopes of finding some form of identification. The woman didn’t even protest but rather keeled forward and cried out once more in pain. Maybe she had been poisoned, and the toxins were just now hitting her intestines and causing severe inflammation. Or perhaps she had gotten into a nasty fight and was suffering from internal bleeding. A shock of recognition punched Rei as her fingers grazed cold steel, making out the imprint of two strange trapezoids. Iwagakure. So she was truly an enemy after all.

               For a moment, Rei considered leaving her for dead but she knew that would be irresponsible. If she was able to be saved, she could hold valuable intel on Iwa’s intentions. She had no choice but to take her to the hospital.

               The triage room spun as Rei tried to comprehend the dizzying chaos. Doctors and nurses flurried around her, shouting commands at one another over the woman’s piercing cries. Rei’s vision began to grow hazy, her eyes flashing from surgical gloves to forceps to speculum. She clenched her clammy hands and bit the inside of her cheek. None of this made any sense.

               The woman, whose name Rei had learned was Tanjo, locked eyes with the redhead, desperate and terrified, as if looking for some form of reassurance in this foreign affair. The knot in Rei’s stomach tightened and for a moment she was positive she was going to be sick. Tanjo reached out to grasp her hand but in that moment, a familiar voice called Rei’s name and suddenly she was being tugged out into the sunlit hall.

               “Sounds like someone is having a rough morning” a familiar voice spoke. Rei blinked, tying to gain her bearings. She staggered to the window and sucked in a deep breath, the hallway much less suffocating.

               “K-Kakashi” Rei gasped. He approached and sat her down on the nearby bench, surveying her pale skin and trembling hands. Tanjo’s screams echoed down the hallway: This isn’t happening! I-I didn’t know! I can’t be having a baby! I-I’m not pregnant! I didn’t know I was pregnant! “Oh god…” Rei groaned and quickly ducked her head between her knees, fighting nausea. If she was lucky, she would wake up in Kakashi’s apartment to find none of this had ever really happened to begin with.

               Truthfully, the woman didn’t even look pregnant. With her chubby cheeks and doe eyes, Rei could even argue she looked too young to be pregnant. Kakashi placed a comforting hand on his girlfriend’s shoulder, then pursed his lips behind his mask and approached the triage room. He wasn’t going to force Rei to explain, but he did want answers. He, too, was having trouble comprehending all of this.

               “Oh god, it hurts!” Tanjo screamed, squeezing her eyes shut tight.

               The doctor gave a single nod and looked up at her patient. “Your baby’s crowning—I need you to give me a big push!” she commanded. Tanjo wailed but did as she was told, and Kakashi watched from afar as her child gradually emerged.

               “What are you doing here, anyway?” Rei finally asked, leaning her head back against the wall and sucking in a deep breath. Kakashi, deeply moved, slowly turned toward his girlfriend and sat beside her.

               “I saw you rushing toward the hospital with that girl over your shoulder. Something didn’t seem right, so I alerted the hokage and followed you to make sure everything was alright” he explained. He glanced back to the doorway, the baby’s cries sending a shiver down Rei’s spine. “Lady Tsunade should be here any minute. In the meantime, what the hell happened?”

               “I-I don’t know!” Rei shook her head, gripping her hair. “One minute I’m just tailing a potential intruder, and the next she’s shoving a kid out of her!”

               Shaking his head, Kakashi furrowed his brows and pondered, “How can a woman not know she’s pregnant?”

               Rei pressed her hand to her mouth and swallowed hard, her leg beginning to bounce up and down on its own accord. “I’ve been trying to figure that out all morning.”                  

               Time seemed to slow to a standstill as they waited for Lady Tsunade. In the meantime, Kakashi flagged down one of the nurses and began to interrogate. All the while, he kept Rei in his periphery. She was clearly becoming unhinged from all of this and he needed to make sure she would be okay, while still getting the necessary work done. He ran down a mental checklist of everything the nurse had detailed to him, ensuring he got the story straight. Then, as she walked away, his eyes trailed to the young mother and her new, unexpected baby. Despite the obvious horror of the situation, there was something heartwarming about watching Tanjo cradle her child and caress her cheek. And yet deep down, there was also still a deadly sense of fear within her. He inched forward, leaned against the doorway, and then asked, “So, have you decided on a name?”

               The rapid tapping of the hokage’s heels echoed down the hall as she approached with steadfast purpose. “Alright, does anyone care to tell me what exactly is going on here?” she demanded. Her eyes darted to Rei, completely out of commission in the hallway, and she grimaced. Before Tsunade could incur her wrath, however, Kakashi stepped out into the scene. “Kakashi!” Tsunade shouted. “You look like the type of person to have answers. What is going on?”

               Rei nearly doubled over listening to the well-rounded explanation her boyfriend began rattling off. He sounded as if he narrated bizarre birth stories for a living, it came so effortlessly. “Twenty-three year old Tanjo is a kunoichi from Iwagakure who was sent here on a mission to infiltrate the Leaf Village. Tanjo has no steady boyfriend, but was seeing a man in the village who she said she had been sexual with. When she missed her period, she simply assumed it was just from the stress of her job. The Tsuchikage had assigned her to accompany two other shinobi on a top secret mission to gain intel on the Leaf Village. When she woke up this morning, she began experiencing severe stomach cramps that she had thought were just anxiety. However, as the pain worsened, Tanjo realized that something was seriously wrong. Rei tailed her while on duty and decided to bring her to the hospital, where Tanjo discovered she was in labor and she didn’t even know she was pregnant. No nausea, no weight gain, no cravings, no unusual stomach movements. After an hour of pushing, she gave birth to a healthy five pound baby boy.”

               Once he had finished his explanation, Tsunade blinked then said bluntly, “Kakashi, stay out of the maternity ward from now on.”

               Rei raised a hand up in agreement and added, “I think you took way too much pride in that.”

               Kakashi’s face turned beet red beneath his mask as he rubbed the back of his neck and replied sheepishly, “Well, I was just trying to give an accurate account of what happened.”

               Shaking her head, Tsunade passed both of them to enter the hospital room herself, but not before turning back to Rei and saying slyly, “I wouldn’t be surprised if he does that when you give birth, too.” All of the color drained from Rei’s face in that moment, groaning as she leaned over and dry heaved into the nearest trash can.

               Shizune’s eyes anxiously darted from one authority to the other. No one had spoken a word in nearly ten minutes. The village elders stared Tsunade down, stony-faced, and it was clear they weren’t budging. Why would they? They were only looking out for the safety of the Leaf Village. But this was a slippery slope. “No amount of silence will convince us otherwise” Homura finally spoke. “In no way, shape, or form will that kunoichi and her child remain in the Leaf Village.”

               “Bastards!” Tsunade shouted, slamming her fist on the table. “That child was born in Konoha, and therefore is a citizen of Konoha! I refuse to separate him from his mother!”

               Koharu shook her head and sighed. “Are you truly going to let an enemy-nin remain in the village she was assigned to destroy? It’s illogical! Letting her stay here will only put us in harm’s way. Her intentions were malicious, and therefore she in no way will stay in this village, end of discussion.”

               “So we’re just supposed to send her and her newborn child back to a place that will likely punish them for failing their mission?” Tsunade asked.

               Homura clenched his jaw. “Tsunade, the way in which we handle this situation will express to the other villages just how serious Konoha handles national security. If we allow this woman and her child legal citizenship to Konoha, we are telling the rest of the world that anchor babies hold power here!”

               “And so what?!” Tsunade shouted. “Our security is tight enough—we have the greatest ratio of shinobi to citizens of any village, we can ensure that this woman and her child do not disrespect the Hidden Leaf. If anything, our compassion should influence their opinion of us and make them proud to have been saved by us rather than that damn Tsuchikage.”

               Shizune hugged Tonton tight to her chest and peered out the window to the darkening sky. This argument had gone on for hours, and she was beginning to grow weary, yet she didn’t see it ending any time soon. Down below, Kakashi strolled through the dim streets distracted.

               Quite frankly, he couldn’t stop thinking of Tanjo and her child. He had never seen a live birth before, nonetheless one so jarring, and he was equal parts horrified and fascinated by it all. It’s crazy to think women can just push human beings out of their bodies like that, he thought to himself. His mind leapt back to his mission to watch over Kushina during her pregnancy, to all the swirling thoughts he had at the time about families and children. Now that he was older, and with marriage always in the back of his mind, those thoughts grew stronger still.

               As he wandered, he saw a familiar face seated at the local bar. Rei considered a glass of sake in her hand, a strange look upon her face. Kakashi ducked inside and rested a hand on her shoulder, panic coursing through him. “Rei, what are you doing?” he asked, voice low.

               With a drunken smirk, she raised her glass and said “Bottoms up!” before taking a massive swig and wiping her mouth with the back of her hand.

               Kakashi sighed and took the glass from her, setting it to the side. “How much have you had to drink?” he asked.

               She shook her head like a defiant child, refusing to meet his eyes. “Doesn’t matter” she pouted.

               “That’s her fourth one” the bartender called from the other end of the room. Rei glared at him and stuck her tongue out.

               “Why didn’t you cut her off?” Kakashi asked him, then turned back to Rei and asked, “Why are you drinking so much?”

               Rei reached for her glass but Kakashi slid it further away from her. Resting her head on the bar, she whined, “There must be something in the water in this place if women are suddenly getting all knocked up and I don’t want to catch it so I’m drinking booze!”

               “Oh my god” Kakashi muttered. He dug into his back pouch, fished out some cash, and paid for her drink before hoisting her up and escorting her back to his apartment. She swayed to and fro the entire way there, pouting and muttering that she was fine even though it was clear she was not, before finally slipping into unconsciousness and forcing Kakashi to carry her the rest of the way home.

               When she finally came to, she was tucked neatly into Kakashi’s bed lying right beside him. She glanced to the clock but her head was spinning and she couldn’t make out the time. Her stomach lurched and she scrambled to the nearest trash can to vomit perhaps a little too loudly, waking Kakashi in the process. Without a word, he snuck closer and held her hair back. Her body trembled and he could hear her crying as she puked. The minute she was done, she pressed her back against the wall and clenched her fists, hyperventilating. A jolt of anxiety rushed through Kakashi’s body.

               “Rei, what’s wrong?” he asked, sternly. She pressed a hand to her stomach and his heart raced in his chest. “Tell me what’s going on right now.”

               Gasping for breath, Rei replied, “K-Kakashi, I can’t stop thinking about Tanjo. I can’t…I can’t wrap my head around it. Every time I think about it, I swear, I’m going to be sick.” Kakashi pushed the trash can nearer to her as a precaution, but she rapidly shook her head and drew her knees up to her chest. “I’m fucking terrified. She had no idea she was pregnant. I didn’t even know that was possible! I can’t stand the thought of it, that could happen to anyone. What if that happens to me?”

               Kakashi reached out and rested a hand atop Rei’s forearm, rubbing gently. “Rei” he sighed, inching closer, “Do you have any idea how many women give birth in a single day? And how many of them do you think had no idea they were pregnant? Not many.”  

               “That doesn’t mean anything, Kakashi” Rei said. “The fact that it happened at all is enough. Is it really possible to be that out of touch with your own body that you don’t know there’s a baby inside of you? Like what if one day I’m just minding my own business, doing my work, and suddenly a kid pops out of me?”

               He knew it was inappropriate, but Kakashi couldn’t help but laugh. “Then I guess I’d have to really crack down on preparing a nursery.”

               “It’s not funny!” Rei shouted, reaching out to slap him on the shoulder. He stifled his laughter and wrapped his arms around her comfortingly. She buried her face in his chest and sighed. “I swear, it’s like every time I close my eyes, it’s all I can think about it. The pain in her eyes, the way she just…pushed that little human out of her body. I can still hear her screaming. It haunts me.”

               In a way, it was strange to see Rei so resistant and nervous about this but considering the trauma of the day, it made sense. He thought back to when they were children, the bizarre games of house they’d play. She would shove her baby doll up her shirt and pretend her and Kakashi were husband and expectant wife on an assassination mission turned south when the baby decided she wanted a piece of the action. She would get so bossy, insisting Kakashi wasn’t playing his part right and that he had to both defeat the bad guys and help deliver the child. “You’re doing it all wrong!” she would shout, calling a time-out. “You have to help me breathe and pull the baby out slow! And hold my hand! Having a baby hurts and you have to take care of me!” Kakashi would groan and insist this was stupid, that a pregnant ninja would never be allowed on missions in the first place, but Rei would scowl at him and insist that she was an exception because she was the greatest kunoichi history had ever known and not even having a baby could stop her from doing her job. In hindsight, Kakashi couldn’t help but chuckle at the memory. They were so young, so naïve, with no real comprehension of what all pregnancy and childbirth really entailed. “Does this mean you never want children of your own?” Kakashi then asked.

               It was a question Rei wasn’t sure she wanted to face. She didn’t know how to answer. She stewed in silence, considering it for a long while. “No,” she finally said, “No, I would want a family but…not like that. If I ever have a baby, I want to be prepared for it. I want to know right away what I’m getting into and I want to be ready for everything involved.”

               “That sounds fair” Kakashi replied. “I promise I’ll do my best not to slip up, but if something ever was to happen, I want you to know that I won’t leave your side.”

               Rei wrapped her arms around her boyfriend and tried to relax but it was no use. She had no control over her muscle tension. Kakashi rubbed small circles on her lower back in hopes that it would help. “Well, thank you” she whispered, her voice breathy and quiet. “Just do me a favor, okay?”

               “Hmm?”

               Looking up at him, her eyes were firm and desperate. “Don’t slip up.”

               A small smile tugged at the corner of his lips and he kissed her forehead tenderly, dragging the trash can along as he helped her back into bed. He didn’t know for certain what the future might bring for them or for the new mother and her child whose fate was argued that entire afternoon, but he knew one thing was for certain: no matter what life threw at them, he and Rei were a team and he wasn’t going anywhere.

[tumblunni]

Ah, here’s the pillowsnake! It’s called Rashab, I totally forgot!

beware, like 40 paragraphs of long rambling about the game below:

I never realized how the naming schemes actually work. All the different variants of a particular genus share a name ending- Nushab is the weird 8 shaped long neck snake, Rashab is the super rectangular chubby one, and Mukshab is the sticklike one that just looks like a real snake but with the trademark weird head that this monster has. And then the sub-breeds of each sub-breed have a totally different naming scheme! Only the main Rashab is Rashab, the other three elementals are all something-moaj instead. And Nushabs are something-oots, and Mukshabs are something-mines. Its an interesting way to do it, though it’s pretty hard to actually figure any of it out ingame when all the pure sub-breed forms only appear as enemies and you’re gonna be fusing your own variations for your party. I think pretty much anything fuses well with the snakes, they look awesome with any texture! And when they fuse with bugs they can actually gain lil wings and look like Dunsparce!

OH OH OH and ALSO I love how monsters in this game actually grow up! Like, they dont evolve, they just grow up like actual animals! They have very very subtle model changes in size for the first 20 or 30 levels, to symbolise reaching maturity. Its hard to even notice it happening unless you compare save files! And often you’ll be fusing monsters rather than keeping them in your party for a long time anyway. So I’m glad that the Shabs have some of the more noticeable changes! Their baby selves start off looking a lot more similar, and they only gain their giant variation in body shapes when they’ve matured. (Though you can still tell what one its gonna become)

OH AND ALSO ALSO The shabs look even cuter in the concept art, yo!!! Ingame it maybe loses a bit of the appeal cos of the low resolution and how everything is textures rather than model detail. (A necessity considering how the fusion system works, yknow?) On the concept art their faces look less like an eyeless snake with dot patterns, and more like a snake with eight buglike eyes. ITS REALLY CUTE!! Thats why I said they look like leeches! Cos they have the super light coloured undersides and the three-pronged jaw and the bug eyes! They’re scaly big leeches! they’re leechly small snakes! THEYRE THE BEST OF MY TWO FAVOURITE LONG ANIMALS!!!!

OH AND its good worldbuilding but I’M SAD The shabs The shabs get the honor of being in the worldbuilding in A SAD WAY The basic MP restoration item is called a Shab Liquer :( Yeah, its nice to know that they thought about how these magical monsters might be a part of everyday life even outside of a battle setting. But its sad to think about how they’re killed and used in medicine! And you have to use hundreds of this medicine, there’s no way to survive without MP restores! I DONT WANNA MAKE MY SNAKE FRIEND A CANNIBAL Tho I do appreciate how the name Shab Liquer just implies a lot of worldbuilding on its own. Like, you don’t just know that they make a medicine from the snakes, its implied its quite literally a snake oil. Like, does that mean snake oil is an idiom for a totally reliable and true thing in this universe? And Liquer is just a rather archaic and fancy way to phrase it, it fits very well with the setting! But seriously WHY DO I HAVE TO FEED MY SNAKE BABY DEAD SNAKE BABIES TO KEEP THEM ALIVE

OH OH OH AND that reminds me of another Fucked Up aspect of the worldbuilding! Your most reliable way of gaining money in this game is selling the monsters you catch. Which is dumb and impractical anyway cos I mean YOU WANNA FUSE THEM ALL!! And you get more money from selling your ones that you actually already fused and levelled up, like NO WAY am I doing that! I love them!! Even if I’m not using them, I’m just gonna keep them at home with Mahbu! NO MAKE ME SELL MY SNEKS But the REALLY FUCKED UP PART is that its explicitely said that by selling them you are killing the monsters.

...Okay so.. this kinda needs some explanation of more of the worldbuilding first...

The way you catch monsters in this game is by using magical cocoons, hence the name of the story. Monsters are meant to be like spiritual creatures, they’re called Minions cos they’re literally the minions of this setting’s deity, Elrihm. The religion of this culture states that humanity (or ‘The Beasts Of Knowledge’) committed a great sin in the past. We were god’s attempt to grant free will and intelligence to animals, but we used it to do evil and he decided the whole species was beyond saving because of the actions of a few. So he created these monsters/demons/avenging angels in snake form, and their mission in life is to destroy all of humanity so that the world can be reset. Which is why minions attack humans on sight, yet coexist perfectly peacefully with animals and plants in the forest. So like... humanity obviously Did Not Want to all die for the sins of one or two dumb kings, yknow? We stubbornly persist! We hold out our vanguard and keep our little towns amidst the Doom Forests, living life as normal with just the Doom Forests being a thing in the background, yeah. Defending against occasional attacks of minions banding together into swarms and chewing on the walls a little, but yeah, no biggie. And sometimes one of them manages to get in and eat some of our garbage or something. People live normally in these fortified wall villages, and the religion still worships Elrihm, and revolves around begging his forgiveness and trying to prove that humanity deserves to live. And never advancing too far with industrialism. lest we be punished again! And I mean, maybe that actually IS how everything happened, or maybe its just a story and Minions have always existed as a natural part of the ecosystem and they’re not evil things destined to destroy us or whatever. Its ambiguous! Even when you get to see Elrihm’s avatar at the end of the game, it’s just a big magical tree that the monsters come from, you never get any idea if it’s sentient and you’re not able to ask it if our legends have the right idea about it’s role as god. (Or if its gender is actually male, or if it even has one XD)

Anyway, that’s the legend of where the monsters come from, and it kinda explains why people might be a bit callous towards them, if they can be tamed as cute friends but also the wild ones are such a big threat to civilization. And if mythology says their threat to civilization is the natural order of existance, that they exist to kill us under orders of a god who abandoned us centuries ago... But yeah! Anyway! There’s a bloodline of magical people called the Nagi who have the power to purify the anger out of minions and make them friends. And the game has a cool way of keeping the usual mons show aspect of ‘catch a monster inside a certain item that has a limited amount of uses’, while making it fit with this ancient times mythological setting! Instead of the pokeball equivelant being some sort of manmade machine, it’s... cocoons! Since Minions are spiritual creatures, they can be like.. de-manifested and have their souls stored, to be re-summoned later. And for whatever reason, the way the magic works is that their souls have to be contained in cocoons. It’s... actually never fully explained? Where do the cocoons come from? Is it like you take any cocoon from a regular bug, and you seal the monster soul inside? But how would you even get an EMPTY cocoon? Is there a special bug in this universe that makes cocoons not for metamorphosis? or do you like.. fuse the soul with the bug inside the cocoon, and thats why all the monsters in this game are inspired by bugs? But they have the same bug-inspired designs even when you find them in the wild before catching them. So is it like the Nagi magic can create magical cocoons and you use those? or is it like you dont actually carry the empty cocoons, you carry something or other that turns into cocoons when a monster is sealed inside it? the catching animation is very vague, the protagonist is only holding his magic flute and a nebulous white glow in his hand. Then the cocoon forms around the monster and its sucked into his hand... ANYWAY I’M GOING OFFTOPIC SORRY! The point is that Nagi people can purify minions into friends, fuse minions into new powerful forms and (probably?) create the magic cocoons that can catch them in the first place. But it doesn’t mean that Nagi people are actually equipped to fight and catch the monsters themselves! the usual setup is a married couple where the Nagi can stay at home and focus entirely on their magic, and the regular human partner learns warrior arts and catches the monsters for them. Also catching monsters requires magic music, so you need to be a damn good bard too! I liked that they even showed that different Cocoon Masters (official name for peeps like the protag) can use whatever instruments fit best with their soul. The protagonist has an ocarina and [important endgame character] has a fancy lute guitar thing? I wish the game had told me what those are called... I think a name for an ancient japanese string instrument is a shamisen but i have NO IDEA if the one shown ingame is actually that or there are more different ones..? I mean its only shown in cutscnes so there’s no good ref image for it- I’M GOING OFFTOPIC AGAIN Anywaaaaaayyyy, its also in the worldbuilding that (for some reason) Nagi men are unable to use magic, and thats why the mages are always the wives and the warriors are always the husbands. Its interesting how this mythology is kinda presented as an opposite of adam and eve, too! Men who try and use magic are sinful and will be punished for stepping out of their assigned roles by becoming demons. Its the sad story of the protagonist’s parents, alas! His mother was the previous Nagi priestess of the village, but her husband committed the ultimate sin and then all we know is that his corrupted self fled into the forest and was never seen again. And everyone marks you as a failure for what your father did, so becoming the new cocoon master is quite hard at first. And its SUPER DUPER SAD cos your dad did it because performing minion purification is painful for the Nagi, and he couldn’t bear to see his wife hurting herself for his sake. So even though he knew the risks, one day he just tried to purify his minions himself so she could get some rest. And.. like.. ultitmately it did work. Cos she could never bear to remarry, and thus the village didnt have another cocoon master until their son grew old enough to marry. At least he succeeded in letting his wife never have to do magic again, even if it was because she stopped doing it out of grief for him.. :(

ANYWAY Now i’ve explained that worldbuilding and why it is cool and awesome and sad, I can explain the worldbuilding of a random gameplay element and why it is also cool and sad! So yeah, like I said before LONG TANGEANTS... The only really reliable way to make money in the game is to sell your monsters. And it makes me feel SO BAD! Cos the game very much outright tells you that selling them is killing them. And I guess it makes sense cos I mean, only Nagi wife-husband pairs can actually summon the monsters, there’d be no point trying to sell living ones to anyone else. So, since minions are sealed inside cocoons, in order to sell them you spin their cocoons into silk thread. This village’s primary export is weaving, so you can sell these silk spools to the big ol building of spinning wheel people and make money to keep going on your journey. Apparantly silk infused with monster souls is higher quality and can grant various effects and stuff, hence its value. Its a shame they didnt make a crafting system with this! Instead its just a standard ‘more powerful weapons and armours appear at the shop as the plot advances, for no real reason’. I mean, wouldnt it have been cool if you could add your monsters’s particular resistances to your main character’s armour? i would feel less sad about betraying them so utterly if they could protect me from beyond the grave. BECAUSE SERIOUSLY THIS IS SO FUCKED UP Seriously! These monsters faithfully served you! You purified them of their anger against humans, and instead of taking that opportunity to love them and show them the good sides of humanity, you just kill them! You kill them after they gained free will! You specifically HAVE to give them free will in order to kill them! Poor babies... I mean seriously I know that animals have to die to provide humans with food and materials and stuff, this is just how society works. But there’s something so much more viscerally terrifying about imagining taking an animal and literally weaving its SOUL into thread, then wearing it! There’s so many metaphysical questions that need to be answered before you can even figure out how much pain they would experience! And like.. god.. even the way they do the gameplay is so.. even more sad. Like, you can’t just hand the monster to someone else and its implied that they kill them. You have to hit an actual button to turn it into a sellable item. You have to cull it yourself. The death blow is on your hands, even if someone else weaves its dead soul into a nice scarf... So yeah, I pretty much always deliberately play ‘hard mode’ on this game, and refuse to make any damn money. Well, I mean, you can still find items in forests and sell them, but its infinately harder that way. You really are supposed to be selling your monsters to progress. I SAY NO! Big ol giant interface option sitting there on the menu unused forever. I love my sneks. You will not take them!!!

Oh but MAN I do really like the moral ambiguity of this worldbuilding, aaaaa!! The whole setting is so.. like.. realistic. There’s the dark realities of life in an ancient times setting. They take care to establish how the society functions and what their main trading export is, and what role monsters play in a non-battley setting! And seriously even the lil Shab Liquer thing! The casual implication that other villages might have different industries with their captured monsters, and someone somewhere out there found a way to make this medicine out of snakes. it manages to imply a wider world even as you’re confined to this one single village and the long forest that divides it away from every other human settlement. Plus.. like.. I really like the ambiguity it gives to HUMANITY. That seems like the MOST realistic of anything! Seriously, the game starts off establishing that in mythology humans are said to be evil, that the creation myth says we’re living in a post-fall society as the corrupted form of what true humanity should actually be, that god has abandoned us and we follow religion because we have to prove ourselves good enough to regain our former status. Like.. seriously, its refreshing compared to how boring and samey a lot of fictional religions are! They’re often just copies of existing religions, or of the general most popular religion template of There Was One Or Two Creator Gods And They Made Humans And Humans Are Destined Important And Animals Were Made To Serve Us. Instead in this game humanity’s mistreatment of animals and the environment is our absolute sin, and the definition of holiness is to be more similar to animals. And big scary demon monsters are GOD’S HOLY CREATIONS, SENT TO PUNISH US! No stereotypes here! No corner-cutting bullshit stolen from real life religions! And then like.. its nice how ambiguous it makes humanity nowadays, even beyond the ambiguity of the mythology and history. Humanity is trying to redeem itself, humanity is following this religion worshipping the god that cast them down for being corrupted. But still, it shows that some people believe in this doctrine, and some people believe that the things that are ‘corrupt’ about us are actually good. Cos it shows how some people believe that like.. ALL progress is sinful, any sort of machine is sinful, any attempt to improve society or change on what’s traditional. And it shows how some people who believe this are the bad guys, and some people believe this in a way that actually makes sense. And similarly, some people who follow the traditional ways are good- like Mahbu and her grandma. But then there’s the village chief who just follows religion blindly and doesnt seem to actually understand what’s morally correct at all, he’s just like ‘if I do what I’m told, I’ll be freed!’ instead of getting the goddamn lesson. And he tries to pretend to be a reasonable authority figure at first but then he gets more and more corrupt as the game goes on. He’s the representation of how forcing our two heroes into an arranged marriage is a morally ambiguous thing, even though they actually were in love and would have got hitched anyway. They’re still way too young to get this destiny of being the only ones who can save the village, AND keep the economy alive by spinning poor lil monsters into silk! And then he keeps giving you more and more orders, and they go from the actual duties of a cocoon master into just fullfilling the chief’s own greed and paranoia. And its interesting that him and the vizier lady who represents ‘lets abandon the rules and do everything for the benefit of humanity’ actually end up teaming up in the end and becoming even more goddamn corrupt together. Excessive progress and excessive stagnancy are both evil, and honestly they both have very similar selfish motives! Tho I do think the only problem is that they put a bit too much emphasis on this whole ‘these two looked like reasonable authority figures but were really evil’ thing, and don’t have enough good people in the town representing the other side. So its harder to care about saving this place when its literally just your wife and your mom who represent the goodness of the human race. And like.. technically I dont want the asshole lil kid to die, cos even though he’s a jerk he’s too young to be 100% responsible for his own actions. Even if I dont like him as a person, I’d still rather wanna take him away from this trash town and hope he can get raised by better people...

But seriously goddamn THOSE FUCKIN ASSHOLE CHIEFTAIN AND VIZIER PEOPLE!! Even after me and mahbu just saved the city from a deadly disease, after like 12 hours of gameplay and three forests worth of fighting for my life against monsters, where I’m expected to have sacrificed like 30 monsters to feed their stupid fuckin silk industry, even after ALL THAT they show no gratitude! The opposite of gratitude! The chief is still paranoid of the Nagi people for being foreigners, even though they dedicate their whole damn life to leaving their families and going on journeys to settle down in different cities and give their power to protect un-magic humans. And they’ve been doing this for all of history despite persecution, and like.. they lost their home and now the only ones who exist are the nomads and various half-nagi children who’ve never seen anyone of their own race before and are losing all the culture. Mahbu is an orphan who was just found by her ‘grandma’ and raised here, the only other Nagi in the village are the protagonist’s mum and technically the protagonist is half Nagi. (Tho like I said, the worldbuilding is that men cant use the magic, so protagonist is classified as a regular human and would just pass it on if he had a daughter.) So seriously Mahbu is a GODDAMN ORPHAN who was raised here all alone and hated by the village even as a kid! And the protagonist was her only childhood friend cos he could understand the feeling of being hated for having this blood, so no wonder they ended up falling in love. And then their love is at risk cos they were forced into this political marriage when they’re really young, and now have to risk dying everyday to protect this town that still hates them. And they work so hard to prove they don’t deserve to be hated, they don’t even think ‘the town is assholes’, they think ‘this is my home and i love it and it must be my fault everyone hates me so i have to work harder’. And the game doesn’t give you any option to do otherwise!

And it progresses even worse than just not getting gratitude! After you save the village from the disease, the evil chief and vizier wreck the day that you just saved, by pulling their goddamn bullshit evil plan! The chief decides to cut down the god-tree because of his paranoia, the vizier decides to cut down the god-tree because of her greed. And like... GAHHHH but its SO GOOD cos its all moral ambiguity still! The evil duo are definately evil, but they get to be evil for different reasons. They represent the two darkest sides of humanity, and no matter how much you represent the light of the world you cannot change them just by passively obeying them and hoping they’ll react like goddamn rational people! But you can understand why the masses might be tricked into following them, yknow? Humanity has been living in this tough life for as long as human memory, and mythology says that we’re being punished for the sins of our ancestors and we’re just BORN EVIL even though we weren’t the ones who did that shit. So you have good reasons to be angry against god, even if the evil duo DONT have good reasons, and they’re not doing something that will actually help.

Anyway so yeah thusly they trick mahbu and the protagonist into helping them trap the god-tree so they can cut it down. Again its a lil annoying that the game doesn’t give you a choice, though! And they dont even bother writing it a bit more ambiguous so the player could be fooled too, its pretty damn obvious you’re being tricked yet the only way to progress the game is to keep going. So you accidentally end up casting the evil magic on the god-tree and its like HOLY SHIT NO! And as you run back to the town you cant get back in time to stop anything, and you just get to see cutscenes of what’s happening while you’re gone. The evil duo cross the line EVEN FURTHER by MURDERING MAHBU’S GRANDMA! Mahbu’s grandma is the BEST CHARACTER, you fucking fuckface! She was such a nice helpful mentor and one of the only people who genuinely treated you two like human beings even though she wasn’t related to you. And she tries to stop the evil duo from doing their evil plan, she tries to reason with them, and she even gets desperate enough to try and reason with them within their own logic. Even if they’re sacriligious and selfish enough to not care that they’re trying to kill god for personal gain, they should at least understand that their plan WON’T FUCKIN WORK, and they’re just gonna bring god’s wrath and ruin humanity’s only chance at redemption! You’re gonna lose all your goddamn money and power if you get bitchslapped by the heavens, dumbass! AND you;ll kill the rest of us too, who never did anything to deserve it! And they ignore all her attempts to be reasonable, and ritually sacrifice her to try and save their own asses once their stupid attempt to kill god backfires. FUCK YOU TWO, SERIOUSLY!

And then something I really like is the revelation of grandma’s backstory! Cos seriously, who exactly was this mysterious woman who found this orphan and rescued her from the forest? She wasn’t a citizen of this town, she just stayed here to raise Mahbu once the town residents acted like assholes and tried to kick the poor kid back out. It turns out that grandma is actually the mortal incarnation of one of the minor deities! She’s basically this world’s psychopomp. The evil duo were actually RIGHT when they said she was a demon in disguise, but NOT when they thought that she was the evil one and they were good. The psychopomp figure of this mythology is hated, but it seems to be that she gained that reputation because she disobeys Elrihm and tries to help humans. She saved this Nagi girl from dying like the rest of her people, and even bound herself in human form in order to try and redeem this town of jackasses. And even though she was part of their village for so long and did nothing but try and protect them, they still ultimately betrayed her... And it was a very vague plot element that was only casually mentioned here cos its Endgame Time and we have to move very fast now. But it was implied that the chief and vizier are the reincarnations of the original evil king and evil sorcerer who did the same sinful nonsense all those centuries ago to get humanity kicked out of god’s domain in the first place. I dunno if its just meant to be that they’re naturally stuck in a cycle of reincarnation as punishment for their sins? But I always liked to interpret it that psychopomp grandma chose to never take their souls, because no matter what they do to her she still believes that one day they might be able to be redeemed in their next life. I feel like maybe she’s gambling with god, she’s keeping humanity alive by holding this one last wager to prove that they’re worth saving...

And then spoily endgame stuff happens and ultimately the protagonist fullfills some ancient prophecy and calms god and etc and MAKES UP FOR THE BULLSHIT ADULTS RUINING ALL THE SHIT, SERIOUSLY And seriously i haaaate how abrupt and rushed the ending is, and how that in this abrupt rushed ending they had time to show that the trash town comes back to life but not show that Mahbu does! You’re told beforehand that she will, but like.. with how many times you get lied to in this game, it would have been nice to get some damn confirmation in the end. Plus seriously, I cant even be happy seeing the town come back! Thats not a very climactic ending! Seeing protagonist smooch his poor long-suffering girlfriend would be way better! Seriously SERIOUSLY everyone else fuckin died cos of their own fuckin fault cos they MURDERED A GRANDMA my nice sweet ETERNAL GRANDMA, the ANCIENT DEITY OF ALL GRANDMAS, the fuckin DEATH GOD SATAN FIGURE WHO SACRIFICED HERSELF TO BECOME A GRANDMA AND PROTECT US AND THEN THEY KILLED HER, AAAAA they fuckin deserved to all die and be frozen in stone unable to even find peace But Mahbu’s life was instead in danger because she used too much magic purifying monsters IN ORDER TO SAVE THE DAMN TRASH TOWN And after all that they had the goddamn gall to be ungrateful and just cause a second disaster and ask us to fix it again! THAT is why mahbu was gonna die! Because she was a good person who listened to your bullshit and tried to save you, and loved me, and just SERIOUSLY SO MANY EMOTIONS you repayed her by KILLING HER GRANDMA

And i mean seriously her form of death was quite literally death from being TOO HOLY AND MORAL. She wasn’t strictly ‘dying’, it was more like a death of personality, I guess? Becoming something holy and leaving this world, when she didnt want to leave you. Everyone called the painful Nagi markings ‘cursed’ and shamed her for it and made her cover them up so their poor goddamn eyes wouldnt be offended by having to look at them. And poor mahbu was worried her goddamn love of her life would be disgusted with her if he saw! So it was like.. simultaneously cathartic and sad to learn that tradition was wrong in this respect. That it was still a BAD THING, but it was holy markings instead of a curse. Nagi priests who succum to the ‘curse’ are just shedding their humanity as a reward for their service, because from Elrihm’s perspective this is a good thing. So Mahbu becomes a tiny fairy angel type Minion, and then its just sad and intense because soon she’ll lose the ability to speak and forget about you and grandma :( So you have to seal her inside a cocoon in order to halt the spread of the holy markings, and can only let her out to talk to her for very short amounts of time in case it starts up again. And then you have to face the gauntlet of the penultimate dungeon alone without the ability to fuse monsters, until you get through it and find the original Nagi hometown whose demise was greatly exaggerated. And then nobody there has any time for character development cos its endgame time, but seriously it was thematically really damn cathartic to walk through that door and see the place! And meet this actual good guy chieftain who actually finally answers some goddamn questions and helps you! Even if its super sad to have to do fusion with these new stranger shopkeeper twins, instead of the wife you’ve grown to love. And also SERIOUSLY just imagine how fuckin atmospheric that whole penultimate dungeon would have been if the player character got to have a voice! It was all atmospheric to me cos I got really into it and imagined it, but I wish it coulda been canon, yknow? I’m just imagining the poor protagonist dude fighting through this horrifying gauntlet all alone with his final team of monsters, struggling to keep up without any of the magical reinforcement they usually get, unable to restock the last few items he has left in his bag. Fuckin DESPERATE HORROR, fuckin having to sleep overnight in the forest for the first time, fuckin terrified. Fuckin.. clinging to the soul of his wife sealed in a cocoon, keeping it safe against all costs, fuckin wakes up in the middle of the night and just how terrified he’d be that he can’t find her, until he remembers what happens T_T And then like.. imagine him summoning her and only getting a few minutes to hold her tiny fragile fairy self in the palm of his hands, and strain to hear her quiet voice as it gets fainter and fainter, and she struggles to remember herself. Thats somehow EVEN SADDER than if you could actually use monster-Mahbu in your party to fight alongside you! (tho that would have been AWESOME) I felt so bad that after all the horror these two had to go through, we never get to see the happy ending they earned, and instead the game wastes time showing the trash town coming back and just... GAHHH

oh and also that is THE ONLY THING about the sequel that i agree is bad! I liked the sequel a lot! And.. I mean.. in theory its a very interesting concept to have the protagonist of the last game be this sadman morally ambiguous broken mentor man. But seriously fuckin hell give the man a break! They literally say that he got blessed/cursed with immortality cos he fullfilled the prophecy in the first game, so Mahbu died long ago and he desperately wants to die too. Thats such a fuckin sick thing to do to your protagonist! And I mean, he doesnt even look like the same person anymore, and so much about the gameplay and the setting and etc are wildly different so it doesnt seem like the same world in th future, why even bother trying to claim its the same world in the future... I mean even.. monsters come from eggs instead of cocoons now, and you cant catch them or merge them, only buy them in stores! Shoulda just made it a separate game and let it stand on its own merits, it would have actually succeeded. I love all the characters in JC2, there’s no problem of ‘man i dont wanna save these guys’, the only character I dont like is fuckin... SADMAN FORMER PROTAGONIST WHO WANTS TO DIE At least in the ending after spoily stuff he gets to pass away. But lets just say the spoily stuff spits on the poor man’s legacy even more, sheesh...

ANYWAY I FEEL A LOT OF EMOTIONS FOR PROTAGONIST AND MAHBU And this game has great worldbuilding and i love it even if the ending is rushed and you’re forced to fall for stupid villain assholes’s stupid tricks ok end of bunni’s rambling