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inevitably-johnlocked · 5 years ago

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Weird q..but i really dont understand why most fans hate season 4, especially the last episode. Why? I think it gave us a deeper look on both sherlock and mycroft! I felt it tells a lot about mycroft how he had to step in and take control of things ever since he was a kid himself. Also he is not a robot or a killer. Also redbeard thing. It was an appropriate deep psychological trauma (cause most shows usually disappoint in that area). I am not trying to impose my opinion. Just want to understand

Hey Nonny!

It’s all good, and I totally respect your opinion and how you enjoyed S4! It’s totally okay! I know that there are quite a few who got a lot of of S4, and who genuinely enjoyed it.

Sadly, I am not one of those people, and I’ll try to be as diplomatic a possible in my response, but PLEASE know that I don’t think you’re “terrible” or “stupid” for liking S4 because I DO get passionate sometimes in my responses, and I’m just merely speaking as someone who studied the series very closely for quite a long time before S4 aired, and as someone who knows Day-One-ers (ie., people who watched Sherlock on its day one airdate) who also are a large majority of the people who did not like S4. This is just me simply stating why I didn’t like it, but it’s different for everyone.

Stating what I DO like: The acting and cinematography of the first two episodes were brilliant for what they had to work with, and I’ve never faulted any of the actors for the flaws of S4. And for TFP, they did the best with what they had to work with.

That’s… pretty much all I really liked about S4.

Now, here’s my problems with S4:

Nothing made a LICK of sense to the narrative that they were telling in Seasons prior.

This series was always based a bit in reality, and suddenly everything became comic-book rules: X-Men villains, shitty “redemption” arc, destroying favourite characters just for drama, ludicrous physics, explosions that only destroyed one small room in an apt where in previous episodes one explosion destroyed an entire block, etc.

Sherlock was OOC.

Mary was being built up to be a fantastic villain? Ah, nope, here’s the lacklustre twist where tee hee Mary’s just an assassin with a heart of gold that still emotionally abuses Sherlock and John and just won’t fucking stay dead.

And speaking of this, the DVD’s make NO LOGICAL SENSE unless she was planning to kill herself

AND she tries to make her death equatable to Sherlock’s??

Everyone was RIDICULOUSLY out of character in TFP, I’m so sorry: Mycroft is a bumbling coward for the most part, Sherlock disregards John when he gives the Vatican Cameos warning, the Holmes Parents are assholes because Mycroft COULDN’T SOLVE A PROBLEM WHEN HE WAS 12?? ARE YOU SERIOUS???? And that creepy Moriarty / Eurus thing, and LITERALLY they’re implying that EVERYTHING HAPPENED BECAUSE EURUS DIDN’T GET A HUG. Like, I’m so sorry, but that’s lazy writing.

And don’t even get me started on the ridiculousness of the entire character of Eurus. She LITERALLY had X-Men powers, and like… just nothing made sense. Her involvement in the entirety of S4 MADE NO SENSE. Why go back to prison if you can get out?? WHAT IS THE POINT?? AND I repeat: She did all this because she didn’t get a hug. Yes. I’m oversimplifying, but at the base level, that’s what it was, because she wanted Sherlock’s attention. Welcome to the club, kid, stand in line, everyone on the SHOW wants his attention.

The ENTIRE plot of the first 2 seasons got wiped out all because it wasn’t Moriarty who was interested in Sherlock, but Eurus?? What… What about Carl Powers?? Like…. the ENTIRETY of season one and TGG makes no sense now, because of that one 5 minute scene where Eurus “enlists” Moriarty. I… ugh.

The SUDDEN tonal switch from kind-of Sherlock to James Bond, for some fucking reason.

And on that note, how terribly lazy and cheap TFP looks in comparison to the other two episodes. The whole episode looks like it was filmed in a small house with 4 identical rooms.

EVERYTHING that was etablished in 2 episodes prior were COMPLETELY forgotten when Mary was “shot”.

The complete character assassination of one loyal blogger John H Watson in favour of Mary for some fucked up reason, even though AT HIS OWN WEDDING HE COULDN’T STAND BEING AROUND MARY. I’m sorry, but I don’t believe for one damned second that John would EVER forgive Mary for murdering his best friend after seeing what it did to him. That’s not love from her, and that’s NOT John’s character EVER in the ENTIRETY of the series.

And speaking of character assassinations, Molly’s character being devolved to S1E1 Molly, where instead of giving her agency like they were doing with her the ENTIRE series, so much so that Sherlock picked up on her dominance enough to give her a big role in his mind palace in HLV and TAB, only to make her a sad little self-insert Mary Sue pining for the main character, and in turn made Sherlock a TERRIBLE human being for MAKING HER say what she did. It’s gross.

AND speaking of Molly’s character, they’ve been setting up Mollstrade since as early as ASiB, but I guess that plot line got shafted. Look I LOVE Hopkins, and I am ANGRY they didn’t give her more than 3 fucking lines in the entirety of ONE episode after HEAVILY promoting her actress and character, but they essentially reduced her to a piece of ass for Lestrade to chase. AND THAT’S NOT HIS CHARACTER EITHER. EW GROSS.

The constant plot holes being gaped wide open, and the Chekov’s gun moments where they bring up shit but do nothing with it!!

TD-12? Nope, just a lame reference to a story we like.

John got shot at the end of TLD with a VERY REAL FUCKING GUN? Nope, it was a dart gun.

John not suddenly knowing how to be a doctor.

The TGG one I mentioned up above.

What was in the letter? And who was Anyone??

Moriarty essentially being erased as anything other than a hired thug and had no part whatsoever in Sherlock’s history.

Eurus… Just all of her character is asinine.

Everyone in T6T suddenly not knowing John’s the blogger, which is in direct contradiction to literally the entire series.

The AGRA plotline was ridiculous, in the end.

Baby? What baby? It was only there when convenient.

They dropped whatever plotline they were going to do for Mycroft: He was being set up as either dying, or the villain.

Redbeard. I’m sorry, I disagree with you on that. Mofftiss is trying to tell me that a little boy fell down a well and went missing, and that WASN’T the first place searchers / the police wouldn’t have looked? Sorry, no. And then. AND THEN his parents just… go along with this thing where Sherlock shuts down and they DON’T get him therapy? Yes, I agree the mind is a funny thing, and we can be traumatised into forgetting or dissociating from traumatic events. I GET IT. But… like I don’t believe the Holmes are so heartless as to just never grieve or have memories around about their supposedly dead daughter. It’s another OCC thing for me.

John’s cheating.

Disappearing and reappearing characters, like this scene, and the entirety of the aquarium scene.

Mary and John being terrible parents

OH GOD THIS FUCKING SCENE. That bomb SHOULD HAVE DESTROYED THE ENTIRE BUILDING.

What… who was this girl on the plane? What? Like I know WHO, but if she’s supposed to be Eurus talking to Sherlock, why don’t we see Eurus… talking to Sherlock? I … Ugh.

NORBURY.

The glass SUPER SECRET GOVERNMENT ROOM THAT NO ONE SHOULD SEE INTO in T6T.

Sloppy camera work that some believe was intentional, but if it wasn’t, jesus c’mon.

The RIDICULOUS amount of 4th Wall Breaking. Like… even the actors didn’t give a shit.

Essentially, everything on this list here and in this blog tag here.

And everything mentioned on these three posts:

T6T: 10 Revealing Things That Haunt You Late at Night

TLD: 10 Revealing Things That Haunt You Late at Night

TFP: 10 Revealing Things That Haunt You Late at Night

There’s SO much more I can go into, but please go through my “something’s fucky” tag in that last link.

Notice how probably 90% of that has NOTHING to do with “johnlock not becoming canon” because the Johnlockers get MONSTROUS accusations as to THAT being why we didn’t like S4, even though it was, like critically panned by the GENERAL AUDIENCE who have NO investment in the series other than “I liked it in the past”.

Two of my fave YouTubers have interesting (not perfect, but still good) takes coming at the series as casual viewers:

‘The Day Sherlock Died’ by The Closer Look

‘Sherlock is Garbage, and Here’s Why’ by hbomberguy

So it’s NOT just Johnlockers. I’ve talked to Sher1011ies at 221B con who didn’t like S4 either, because most of them realized how shitty Molly was treated in the last episode. So yeah, a big middle finger to those who think I dislike S4 because of “no Johnlock”. No, I disliked it because I need my stories to make logical narrative sense. I disliked it because I love John and they ruined his character all for the sake of drama and because Moffat has a “hurting Ben” kink. I disliked it because Mary should NOT have been “redeemed” because she was an abuser. I disliked it because Moriarty was turned into a cartoon villain, even though he was already overused in the series. I disliked it because the core of the show – the FRIENDSHIP of Sherlock and John, and their solving mysteries together – did not exist at all. I disliked it because John got sidelined. I disliked it because TFP was a ridiculous episode that, if you replace ANY of the characters, it wouldn’t make a difference, because it didn’t feel like an episode of Sherlock. I disliked it because everyone was OOC.

Anyway. Sorry. One too many accusations my way over the past 1100+ days LOL.

As for your assessment of TFP, I’m going to have to respectfully disagree with you. There was no growth and actually it implies something far more sinister: That the Holmes are and were terrible parents that gave no shits about their daughter, their traumatized son, and expected their eldest to essentially be a parent. It implies that Mycroft, at 12 years old, orchestrated the ENTIRE Sherrinford thing… Look I can suspend my disbelief, but there’s limits, and this is one of them. A LITERAL CHILD. Perhaps Uncle Rudy had a hand in it somehow, but then why not shit on Uncle Rudy? Why is Mycroft blamed for it all?

Look, I don’t doubt Sherlock had a traumatic experience regarding “Redbeard”. But then why play into the fact that he was a dog? Why bring another character into the series just to have a gotcha moment? Because Mofftiss wanted a “Shyamalan twist”, that’s why. They threw EVERYTHING away for a twist ending either because they GENUINELY thought it was good, or they got tired of doing Sherlock. ALL of TFP is LITERALLY a really bad plot twist because reasons. TFP makes no sense to the ENTIRE narrative structure of the previous 12 episodes. It erased EVERYTHING from the previous episodes, and coated it with a gross closing by a character no one wanted in the series, and then tried to convince us that it’s a new beginning – “a journey they had to go through” – but it SOLVED NOTHING.

Anyway. I have big feels about S4, and the only way I can enjoy it is to watch it subtextually, but even then, I cannot sit through TFP without cringing.

That said, Lovelies, please do not attack Nonny for enjoying S4! I know you guys won’t, but Nonny came out with an olive branch and they just want to understand why the fandom is passionate about S4′s… whatever it was. We can have a civil discussion about it, and point out – without attacking – why S4 is universally panned. It’s okay to like things no one else does, and Nonny was respectful to me in this ask!

So with that, feel free, lovelies, to express why YOU didn’t enjoy the series, or why you did! I’m interested in both “sides” / pov’s whatever :)

#steph replies #long post #sherlock s4 #s4 shitposting #mofftiss #something's fucky #the mary problem #my thoughts #my meta #shitposting steph #sorry gang if you like the season #it's easier for me to enjoy it if i tinhat

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pcnumbras · 3 years ago

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❛ lily james, cis female, she/her, 56 ✶ was that isla nightingale gracing the streets of alestria? i heard the aries’s order is the harpy, and rumor has it they are observant + secretive which must be why they are a spy. their allegiances are currently with the crown, but who knows how serious that is. ❜ lia . 26 . cst . she / her . [ @solariarb ]

stats

name: isla nightingale (it’s rare that she gives her full name) current alias: elina date of birth: april 5, 1965 (is around 56, but looks 32) sign: aries gender: cisfemale orientation: bisexual birthplace: unspecified, was found somewhere in the northern mountains. hometown: alestria family: unknown, raised by an ex head guard of the castle. (earl nightingale)

story

a kid left to her own devices, one that never knew the warmth of a parental embrace and was forced to fend for herself in the rocky mountains. she has no recollection whatsoever on how she ended in such a place and her earliest memory, besides the aimless wandering on a hopeless land, was of the man who found her and took her to alestria.

a simple guard, earl, sent to a mission to the northern mountains. it was an accident that he stumbled upon a little girl, one that seemed almost feral as she bared her teeth in a silent hiss. this should’ve been enough of a warning for him to continue his path, but had he done so, he would’ve missed how she seemed to control the shadows to conceal herself from any danger. it was all instinctual back then, and the guard immediately noticed the little to no control she had over this, but he knew of another harpy with a similar gift. all it takes is a moment for him to know that she’d be a great asset to the guard with the right upbringing.

asking for her name, all he got as an answer was a shrug and an “i dont have one”. he lowered his sword, raised his hands to not appear as a thread and promised her a better life if she decided to come along with him. it was an easy decision to make, after all, he was her one-way ticket out of the tundra to a promised land.

before returning to the palace, the guard made one last stop… somewhere in the outskirts of alestria where a small cabin could be found amidst the trees. it was a place rumored to be abandoned, even haunted. truth was, a fae well over one hundred years lived there in secrecy and self-exile; her strong opinions against the crown earned her an awful reputation and she decided to make herself a home away from alestria. the guard knocked on her door and she easily understood the situation after a simple “you owe me one” and being briefed about what he saw in the mountains.

bidding goodbyes, the next time the little girl saw the guard, she wasn’t so little anymore.

she was able to learn more about herself and her abilities while living with evanora, her “mentor” (she never allowed the girl to regard her as a mother), but something about alestria always caught isla’s (name given by evanora) attention. from a young age, isla learnt to disguise herself in order to sneak out of the cabin and into the town. it’s not that evanora wasn’t aware of her little antics, but more so she knew that it’d be a good practice for what earl had in mind for her future.

isla developed an affinity to observe and pay attention to others and despite the isolation, she intuitively understood how to move and convince people in order to accomplish something, mostly always getting free goods from the townspeople.

it was around sixteen when earl, once again, came knocking to their little cabin. now, he was the head guard and had plans for isla. the first one involved taking classes in the alestria academy. it was all part of a bigger scheme; he needed her to learn certain things for what he had envisioned. along with her regular classes, earl came up with a training plan for her to start immediately along with other soon-to-be guards.

much to earl’s content, isla had very much developed a set of skills that only needed to be honed. he noticed how easily she managed to connect with others and he never missed her wandering fingers with the affinity to take things that weren’t her own. he saw, too, her way with words and how, with a whispered nothing, she’d get anyone to do whatever she wanted or turn against their closest friend. isla knew how to manipulate the narrative in her favor and she did so in a way that the trust invested in her was never broken.

graduation comes and isla thought she’d become a guard much like her peers… but earl had something else in mind. under his personal recommendation, she was sent to small missions, mostly to recollect information and keep tabs on people around alestria, which she fulfilled with ease: disguising herself within the shadows always came in handy. it started with merchants who earl suspected had shady dealings... until the day came that she was appointed to work for the royals as a spy when she turned twenty six.

it’s only then that she becomes aware of how earl had a perfectly manufactured masterplan. the extra private classes she had to take on diplomacy, royal affairs and history, etiquette… everything made sense and, even though she’s not completely sure of her allegiance to the crown, she was satisfied to have a purpose. she finally found one.

thirty years have passed since her very first official mission and even though earl passed away in a tragic fight, she remains committed and dutiful to her job; fulfilling any request the royals have for her. when she’s stagnant, she likes to take other miscellaneous jobs as a cover and, if asked, her story is ever changing. one day she can be marie, the daughter of some merchants from a faraway land and the next one she’s olivia, a widow of an honorable doctor. right now she goes by elina, a waitress somewhere in astra avenue waiting on her next assignment.

personality

gifted at reading people, even those she’s just met, quickly assessing and mirroring their emotions, expressions and body language, granting her great insight into people and allowing her to establish rapport with them rather fast.

she’s direct and has an ability in calling out failures with a chilling degree of insensitivity, not shy about pointing out what could’ve been done better or being honest about what she sees. isla tends to be blunt and driven to get things done, becoming critical, brusque and hostile in the pursuit of her and the crown’s goals.

if there’s anything she loves, it’s a good challenge. she avoids being weak, vulnerable, controlled or manipulated, embodying the gifts of charisma and confidence. when the situation calls for it, isla has a tendency of becoming confrontational and has difficulty backing down or admitting defeat, pushing things to the edge.

emotional expression isn’t isla’s strong suit, she actually tends to distance from her emotions, especially in public. in her line of business, she thinks that such displays are displays of weakness. she might not pick up on emotional subtleties in other people that she’s not as close with. isla might look like someone strong, independent and with her life apparently sorted out, but beneath that front she’s worked so hard to build lies an insecure woman with a lot of fears, one of them being caught off guard, getting harmed or being humiliated.

puts a lot of pressure on herself to perform a certain way and will constantly second-guess herself, never quite sure if her behavior is being received well. not being connected to her emotions only adds to her insecurity and it’s the reason why she becomes unsure about people either liking or judging her. she also has a secret need for validation, thus the pressure only increases. even though she will never voice this, isla feels fulfilled when her efforts and ideas are recognized.

owner of a natural confidence that generates influence around her, isla takes a great deal of pride and joy in the abilities she has worked hard to master over the years. though, she has a tendency of overestimating her own development and those that don’t know her well, might mistake it with arrogance. her speech isn’t helpful to avoid these misunderstandings: when coming face to face with someone that is in direct conflict with her beliefs and way of working, she puts a barrier between her and the person, becoming albeit defensive and purposely trying to talk down the other.

#— ❛❛ // OOC #solaria.intro #— ❛❛ // 𝖎𝖘𝖑𝖆 𝖓𝖎𝖌𝖍𝖙𝖎𝖓𝖌𝖆𝖑𝖊 ¦ THE OPAQUE

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bleachbleachbleach · 3 years ago

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HELLO.

I just wanted to say that I love, love, love your tags on that character/tool post a lot! Some of my favorite shows/books involve characters that can't keep it together and just barely make it to the end of the story or make it there in an "inconvenient way" and tbh I find that usually the narratives that follow these characters don't really work away from them either--the narrative is just usually more questioning instead of fully formed.

Like, 'what if/how would', y'know? There's less of a clear meaning and more just 'what if they hadn't done that. what if they had done that. what if all that meant nothing. what if that struggle was all there was'.

But oh boy, when they DO work away from the narrative. *chefs kiss*

I mean, most of my favorite Bleach characters are narrative nightmares who either hinder or cut off lines of theme in the story entirely. And, in general, I think there are A LOT of characters in shonen--a genre known for very long narratives that can't possibly complete every thought but also can't just abandon all those characters introduced ESPECIALLY the fan favorites or personal favorites--work in the way you described.

Tbh i think your tags really highlight why so many ppl get drawn to these characters/why they're so fun to play with in fanfiction.

If you have more to add or more thoughts about this you want to lay down I am here, eagerly awaiting and ready to pick them up.

Also, who do you think in Bleach is the most fun characters who sort of drop kicked the story, in your opinion? Who's the one you like the most? And who's the one you dislike the most?

[For posterity the referenced post is this one.]

Aww, thank you! That’s really lovely to hear. I was anxious about even putting it in tags because I don’t think I presently have the capacity to explain it well—and even if I did might still sound bananas to many. Or at least the bit about negotiating with characters and how *they* feel about being subjects in stories. Because as much as that really is my practice saying it out loud takes me back to like… FFN in 2003 where every store was prefaced by extensive chat-form back-and-forths between the fic author and their character "musies" and that is not something I think fandom would benefit from bringing back in force, hahaha. But anyway.

Here’s the part where I disappoint because I don’t think I actually know Bleach well enough to speak to it in this context. WHICH SOUNDS DUMB EVEN AS I TYPE IT BECAUSE LOL WTF IS THE NAME OF THIS BLOG WE ARE CHARLATANS AND POSERS FOR CLAIMING AS OUR NAMESAKE NOT ONE BLEACH BUT THREE BLEACHES but truly, my experience of Bleach has a shallow depth of field. I feel like I have weirdly intimate knowledge of some severe rabbit holes but a non-existent to uneasy sense of the gestalt.

Like idek man, in my "slow re-read where I am actually paying attention" Ichigo hasn’t even met Byakuya and Renji yet. ToT

I'm gonna put this behind a cut because it spidered all over the place, but in summary:

characters and their capacity to produce narrative failure

the charm of longform serialized series and their invitations to imagine stuff

me attempting to talk about Hitsugaya and feeling a fool, as usual

I guess in general terms, I’m really interested in characters and their capacity to produce narrative failure. Not failure as in 'bad' but failure as in things that break form or are circuitous or are actively detrimental to a narrative arc. All my strongest examples of what I’m thinking of are from a different fandom and therefore not relevant to this blog, alas. By comparison I think anyone in Bleach can keep it together better than the characters that are immediately coming to mind, lol. But I think this idea dovetails often with trauma narratives, or depression narratives, because these things are often… non-narrative? Like, there’s no fourth or fifth for minor fall or major lift. Sometimes it’s the same thing over and over again, or maybe nothing. Maybe it’s the exact same self-sabotage narrative dictates could have been avoided. Maybe it’s some act that emanates forth but cannot be explained because it cannot be explained and will never be explained. That’s a version of what I’m talking about, in any case, though not the only version.

Your note about longform shounen definitely resonates with me, too. In my mind I don’t like long things and I prefer series that are more self-contained but whenever I have ever landed in a long-term fandom, with a piece of media I felt obliged to carve out chunks of my life for, and to interact with at that level of creative fannishness, it’s always been something stupid long and serialized by the seat of its pants. I know plot holes or dropped threads bother a lot of people (makes total sense, don’t get me wrong) but I find these things incredibly attractive. I see them as invitations to join in the fun. Especially when it’s so much a part of the form and genre to have this, as you said, lack of real expectation that every thread will be followed to its conclusion (or that it would be worthwhile to do so) and every thought completed.

There’s this piece by David Grann that was published in The New Yorker in 2004 that I really love that speaks to part of this idea, albeit in terms of fictional universes versus fictional characters. But Grann is talking about Sherlock Holmes (Doyle original) and the ways that Sherlockians would like, approach apparent lapses in narrative and then solve them according to the established rules of the universe. I just love that. There’s also the line, "Never had so much been written by so many for so few," which LOL if that ain’t fandom I don’t know what is!!

I feel like I’m actually talking about three distinct but related facets of these thoughts in this post, except all at once and without clear transition, uhhhhh.

Gah, I am broken and now can ONLY think of examples from my not-Bleach fandom, but to try a different tack and add yet another facet to this already funhouse-mirror post, my various attempts to write Hitsugaya often feel like they come up against a version of this. I think Hitsugaya has aggressive side character energy, and I find it difficult to make him the center of a story and have it feel right to me. He feels different to me than writing other minor characters, where they can be the center of their own stories even if their story is not the main story. Like, two of my fave characters in my other fandom have literally like… three lines in 350+ episodes and it feels easier to imagine THEM at the center of their story and I think what it comes down to is that Hitsugaya probably prefers what he not be written. And when he does become more narrative I think he’d prefer that none of it was happening in the fist place. But at the same time he always seems to be…around??? whether there is really a good reason for him to be present or not. XD So while, say, he and Bartleby "would prefer not to" (because THAT'S what this post needs, a Melville reference), Bartleby actually opts out and Hitsugaya out here volunteering.

He also often feels non-narrative to me because he feels very declarative, if that makes sense? Like, the coming-to-decisions or coming-to-realizations parts of existence happen pretty quick, or are approached perfunctorily. I feel like I find narrative in the "coming" part of that equation and instead Hitsugaya will be like, well, I’ve already done that part without you, and/or plan to do that part in the future and it will still be without you, the audience. Anyway, here’s the determination I’ve made, here’s what I’m going to do, and here begins the long and probably tedious process of my doing that thing (off 2 go train in a cave for a bit). I don’t think he actually believes the world is that simple, Tab A into Slot B, but I do think he’s already made that assessment and can see coming to terms with that as a horizon, if that makes sense. So even if he doesn’t know the answer to something, or is completely at a loss of what to do (what to say to Hinamori? how to productively address the number Aizen’s done on him) there’s still not necessarily a story there. Maybe the answer is you grind, and it is repetitive and boring. Maybe you just hold things. There’s not even the act of learning how to hold things, necessarily, just the practice of doing so.

Wow, that probably doesn’t sound good! I feel like I need to suffix this with the assurance that Hitsugaya is my absolute runaway character in the whole series and this was true 15 years ago and it is still true now (truer, even) and everything I just said are reasons why I love him.

#i feel like this is one of those 'well.... that sure was a Post' situations #and i will have to try to articulate this better in the future #probably multiple times #ideally with concrete explicated examples for the sake of clarity lol #but please take this as an invitation to talk about YOUR read of Bleach/Bleach characters and/or elaborate on your also excellent tags

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autumnblogs · 4 years ago

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Day 4: You eat a weird bug and don’t even care.

Starting later than usual today because I’ve been absolutely swamped with work. Let’s get down to business to defeat the Huns.

https://homestuck.com/story/644

I’ve never really gotten why John falls asleep here. Seems an odd place to fall asleep, especially with the adrenaline rush that must have been. Maybe he’s passing out from exactly that? Alternatively, maybe Vriska is putting him to sleep.

I also forgot that John Sleeps/Skaian Magicant is split between two flashes.

https://homestuck.com/story/651

Ah here we go. John has what are, if Jade is to be believed, lousy dreams. He dreams of his Dad, of clowns, of baked goods, of Fruit Gushers, of his own symbol, the weird knock-off slimer, and Harry Anderson, before finally Jade appears.

I am not a psychologist or therapist. I am not even anything more than an amateur literary critic. But let me give you my take on that. It’s clear that John is dreaming about all kinds of things that are giving him anxiety here, if Jade’s assessment about his dreams being lousy is true.

Harry Anderson is, as he’ll say later, kind of a weird mutual father figure for him and his Dad, and as a stage magician and comedian, he represents John’s aspirations.

John wants to grow up to be a great stage magician and comedian, and if there’s anything we’ve seen about the Heir of Breath so far, it’s how extremely self-critical he is of his abilities - he’s screwed up every disguise and magic trick he’s tried so far.

The other things are pretty self-explanatory - he’s anxious about his relationship with his Dad, he’s anxious about his Dad’s identity, he’s anxious about his own identity - with the exception of the gushers. Are gushers just symbolizing Sburb for John? Does he have a premonition that the gushers are tainted by the hand of his archnemesis, Betty Crocker? Maybe that one’s just silly.

Maybe they’re all just silly!

https://homestuck.com/story/652

I promise I will have more to say about Jade’s conversations once she is actually introduced, but until then, she is too enigmatic for me to talk about :^)

I will say, if the fact that John is stressing out about everything in his life and just not vocalizing his anxiety, it’s probable that he thinks Jade is just as mysterious as his pals think she is, and is just not talking about it.

I think John, like Jake, is way more intelligent than he lets on, and probably just keeps a lot of things on a simmer, thinking about them without necessarily opening up about them. He talks a lot about surface level stuff for sure, but he seems a lot more hesitant to talk about emotions, theories, that sort of thing. It actually reminds me a lot of how Kim Kitsuragi from Disco Elysium, far from his highly imaginative partner the player character, writes his thoughts down in a notebook to keep track of his through processes, hunches, case details, etc, whereas the Detective organizes everything in an interactive Thought Cabinet that serves as one half of the game’s Inventory and Progression System.

For example, John’s ability to describe and his ability to theorize is on full display in the FAQs that he writes, but when he talks, he’s often just as disorganized as he is everywhere else. Maybe John needs to take up journalling.

Huh. I wonder if Kim is a Prospit Dreamer and the Detective is a Derse Dreamer? That would make a lot of sense. Once @bladekindeyewear finishes playing Disco Elysium (which he is playing at my behest), I’ll see if he’s interested in assigning Lunar Sway, Classes and Aspects to the two of them.

https://homestuck.com/story/665

Dave Owns. The Narrative switches between character perspectives often right before there’s a major climax so that lots of characters can all have climactic encounters in sync with one another.

Eye imagery is on full display here as Dave ascends to the highest point in the building. The Sun over Dave’s house is drawn differently from other abstractions of the Sun in Homestuck, and this particular drawing of the Sun will later be juxtaposed against Terezi’s eyes as Alternia’s Sun burns them out.

The Sun as the Symbol of Light is also juxtaposed with Rose’s eyes later when she uses her seer powers, strengthening the connection between the Sun and Eyes. Near the very beginning of the comic, Rose compares the Sun moving on from the east coast to the west as him casting his lurid gaze on younger parts of the world, or the country. I’m not recalling the exact phrasing at this time.

Lil Cal’s creepy eyes are also highlighted by the Camera here. Through the vehicle of Lil Cal, Lord English is watching and quietly giving approval to all of this.

I choose to interpret the camera’s focus in this flash as giving us a glimpse into what Dave is paying attention to. And boy does Dave notice all of these eyes on him. Between seeing the sun as a malevolent eye watching him, to Lil Cal’s glassy gaze, to the Cameras bro uses to surveil him 24/7, Dave feels like he’s constantly being watched, and I think it’s safe to say it gives him the creeps.

https://homestuck.com/story/673

WV’s self-estimation isn’t much better than John’s.

https://homestuck.com/story/678

I wonder if we can get some insight into the strange minds of the Carapacians in the way that before he’s even finished receiving the commands, WV acts on them. WV is even more impulsive than John.

https://homestuck.com/story/684

Oh yeah, WV’s self-worth is way worse than John’s.

https://homestuck.com/story/685

Luckily almost as soon as his thoughts come, they go. He doesn’t spend too much time brooding over his self-loathing and survivor’s guilt, so good for him.

https://homestuck.com/story/688

A whole bunch of things that are symbolically related to the cast!

While WV’s can town playtime functions as foreshadowing for us, it serves as a replay of the extremely recent past for him, at least in terms of events that we know about.

https://homestuck.com/story/694

The light on Serenity’s belly looks a bit like the Sun, and therefore, an eye.

https://homestuck.com/story/699

The Blue Trees of Can Town call forward to Terezi’s forest, but I don’t think this is probably more substantial than something fun Andrew decided to call back to when he was writing the trolls.

IDK. Maybe Blue Trees = Democracy = Justice?

But Terezi’s brand of justice has nothing to do with Democracy.

https://homestuck.com/story/709

Tab, like GameBro, is an artifact of a bygone age.

https://homestuck.com/story/711

It’s a lot easier to become a citizen of Can Town than it is to become a citizen of the United States!

https://homestuck.com/story/714

I wonder who input all those commands before WV got on board? Maybe whoever was in charge of building these contraptions in the first place - a Carapacian Lab Rat in the Veil.

Always felt like the unseen actors making Sburb run behind the scenes were one of the nicest touches, they lend an air of sinister mystery even beyond the Guardians.

https://homestuck.com/story/721

I am not good at chess.

Maybe sometime, I will have my friend who is good at Chess analyze this game, and see how he feels about it.

https://homestuck.com/story/735

WV’s Self Esteem is very, very bad.

https://homestuck.com/story/752

Our first introduction to the laws of time travel in Homestuck - the past is a place that materially exists, and in only one specific configuration that can be interacted with. You can only bring things forward from the past if nobody else got to them before you. You can’t go back and undo things that somebody else (or you) has already done according to the canonical configuration of events.

https://homestuck.com/story/757

This is ridiculously cool.

Homestuck’s huge climactic story events are arguably one of the things that makes it so special as a story. I can’t think of a story that does such a good job of building up tension in multiple storylines before having them all converge.

https://homestuck.com/story/760

https://homestuck.com/story/765

I wonder what the exact mechanism is by which Jade is aware of the gaming abstractions and commands to the degree that she is? Is it just her Skaian dreams? This could be a one-off gag, but it could also be an indication of a degree of clairvoyance greater than that which I feel like the visions she has as the Prospitian Moon passes through Skaia.

https://homestuck.com/story/768

Jade loves to watch things grow.

It’s a Space Thing.

https://homestuck.com/story/777

According to BladeKindEyeWear’s Inversion Theory Jade’s complicated and carefully orchestrated time loops, which she uses to connect people with possibilities, is an example of her inverting under extreme stress, acting more like a Seer of Time, her opposite, than like a Witch of Space (in much the same way that Rose acts an awful lot like a Witch of Void for much of the comic’s first half!)

I expect a real Seer of Time wouldn’t need quite so many contrivances to keep track of everything going on in the past and future. Eventually, Jade stops using her colourful reminders, which is probably an indicator that she is no longer attempting to play outside of her lane.

https://homestuck.com/story/789

Pretty much all of Jade’s interests cast her immediately as someone with a pretty strong maternal instinct, something that she shares with other heroes of Space. Jade is a caretaker.

Her playthings are dolls so she can roleplay the part of a Mom. She grows oodles of plants, and seems to have a knack for it. She likes animals, and though the only animal in her life takes care of her, she puts in some work to take care of him too.

Her interests definitely mark her as the more classically girly of the two between her and Rose, and like her brother is preoccupied with manhood and Dadliness, Jade seems to preoccupied with Momliness - which is odd, considering that she doesn’t have a maternal figure to aspire to! (Maybe the White Queen?)

https://homestuck.com/story/790

Jade is not of course, only girly. The same way that Dad’s culturally out-of-place baking hobby marks him as transgressively feminine to John’s dismay, Jade’s scientific and artillerist hobbies are transgressively masculine.

Although it’s tempting to say that Jade loves the sciences because Grandpa raised her to, or because she’s aping him after he died, she’s clearly born to it. I think about the question of nature and nurture a lot in Homestuck.

I think on the whole, it falls pretty far to the side of Nature. Characters who share a common ancestry also share common character traits more often than not, even in the absence of shared cultural touchstones, shared geography, shared timeline. The same character only has a limited number of possible choices that they could have made, as Aranea will later say.

On the other hand, some characters turn out very different in one life than they do in another. Dirk doesn’t turn out nearly the psychopath that Bro Strider is by the time that Homestuck Proper concludes.

https://homestuck.com/story/795

Squiddles are, as everyone knows by now, a manifestation of the Dark Gods of the Furthest Ring, but I think there’s more going on with them too - they have kind of a horny energy that I can’t quite place. I’m going to come back to that. Any case, they seem to be one of the symbols that Rose and Jade share in common, although Rose subverts the colorful and cute squiddles into icons more of the extradimensional beasties that they actually represent.

Maybe I think Squiddles are a symbol of horny for the same reason that snakes are lewd to Cherubs - there’s definitely something phallic about tentacles, and definitely something intimate about the idea of becoming someone’s tangle buddy. The very first time I read Rose’s handle, I thought it read Tentacle The Rapist, which I suspect is kinda the point, and some of Andrew’s other works have variously described the process of interacting with tentacles as being molested and so on and so on.

Rose and Jade actually share a huge number of symbols in common between the two of them, which I think is great, but also sad - Rose and Jade clearly actually have quite a lot in common, and the two of them don’t really interact very much.

https://homestuck.com/story/797

I’m going to eventually decode Jade’s fascination with animals too, but for now I want to remark that it’s not just the idea of looking like an animal that excites Jade - it’s the idea of being like an animal that excites her. The exact same little poem is later reiterated by Serenity in WV’s nightmare, as he dreams of losing control of the power of the Ring of Orbs Fourfold and killing everyone he loves. What would be a nightmare for WV though is a fantasy for Jade. The idea of being out of control is thrilling for her.

Dave is also a furry.

https://homestuck.com/story/798

The trappings of a proper gentleman. Monocle. Pipe. Top Hat. Little White Gloves. A proper gentleman without these is a piss poor excuse for a proper gentleman indeed.

SYMBOLS.

https://homestuck.com/story/800

Another spot where Jade is able to interface directly with the audience, in some form or another.

https://homestuck.com/story/802

Jade may have fantasies of transforming into something more animalistic, but she’s not willing to indulge them.

https://homestuck.com/story/803

Jade completely rejects the symbols of witchcraft that Rose so readily embraces.

https://homestuck.com/story/804

Jade contemplates engaging in some Vriskaesque behavior. Is it just because Vriska is watching her? Maybe she’s picking up some Vriska-esque vibes through the feed as the Thief of Light practices her mind control.

https://homestuck.com/story/808

I think it’s safe to say one of two things is going on here.

Jade is either literally cognizant of the audience and interacting with them, putting her on a layer of the story that is quite a lot closer to us than you would expect of someone as innocuous as Jade (maybe the immediate presence of the Fourth Wall upstairs could facilitate that relationship?)

Or Jade has an active imagination, is extremely lonely, and likes to interact with her imaginary audience as a way of projecting a friendly and hospitable demeanor onto the world around her in sort of the exact opposite way that Rose imagines the worst of everything and everyone?

Or, as it often is in Homestuck, it could be both motherfuckin’ things.

https://homestuck.com/story/829

Did I mention Dave is a furry? Dave is totally a furry.

If we read Squiddles as a symbol of intimate contact with living things, Jade’s computer having Squiddles front and center is appropriate - it’s her point of contact to all the people in her life.

Tune in on the morrow to watch Dave’s Bro beat the shit out of him.

Until then, this is Cam signing off, alive and not alone.

#homestuck #liveblogging #commentary #disco elysium #bladekindeyewear #inversion theory #squiddles

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cloudyyoonji · 5 years ago

Text

College Muse.

Bang Chan x Reader

Summary; Music producer! Chan and Writer! Reader both dwell on each other for some help on a project similar in nature.

Genre; FLUFF!!!

A/N; Hello! Requests are open at the moment, so please feel free to make a request!!

____________________________________________________________

Final assignments, or rather nicknamed the 'direct spawn sent from Satan himself’ by the students on campus, are finally approaching, sent in various forms for all students to stress about on their own, tortured by the assignment questions for countless hours upon hours.   But a whole dorm room of stressed-out young adults was certainly reflective of the pits of hell.   You’re squished up in the corner of the room, the assignment outline fresh in your mind as you plug in your headphones.   “You’re going to write a love story,” your professor has told you, hands clasped behind his back. He clicked his tongue, eyes wandering around the room. “The twist? It needs to be a realistic love story. None of that ‘love at first sight’ bullshit. Write me raw and real material.”  

So now you were here, a rough playlist of love songs playing to tune out any background noise of Jisung and Felix yelling as they play some video game, and Wendy’s muffled tapping that seems to be echoing through the whole common room.   You sighed, scrolling through countless open tabs on your phone, pen scrawling little notes here and there as you find something interesting to write. Language of Love? Was there such a thing?   You note Bang Chan enter the room, keys in one hand and a bag in the other, as you swipe through the songs on your phone, turning back to the notebook to write out a summary of your findings.   The couch beside you sinks, causing you to look up and immediately roll your eyes at your dorm mate, who has a goofy grin as he looks down at you, fingers pulling the string of one of your earphones.   “Whatcha doing?” Bang Chan asks in the same annoying drawl of a voice he uses to get on your nerves, typically whilst you were studying.   You drop the pen in your right hand, using it to shove him off your shoulder, a whine leaving your lips as he laughs at your frustration.   “Go away, I’m trying to study.”   “On what?” His eyebrows are raised now. “Cheesy love songs? Shouldn’t you study something a bit more interesting? I can show you a few of my demo’s if -“   “They're not cheesy love songs,” you pout, cutting him off. “Besides, it's not the music that I am studying. I’m trying to be a writer, remember?”   He takes full advantage of your rhetorical question, letting the whole ‘light bulb moment’ type of exclamation leave his lips in a higher pitch than his regular voice, cut off when you shove him away again, this time curling into a smirk.   “You’re studying Love?” “Yes,” you sigh finally, “I have to write a ‘realistic love story’ for my final.”   “Oh,” He sits back into the couch now, nodding. “That should be easy for you.”   You turn to him now, materials abandoned measly on the arm of the couch, eyes narrowing on the boy as he sits, arms crossed.   “And why would that be the case, Bang Chan?” “Because you’ve clearly been in love.”   Your hard demeanour drops as you watch the boy for a second or so. “I’ve never been in love, Chan.”   “Sure you haven’t,” the blond laughs, “I’ve read your writing. You can convey it perfectly.”   Now you’re interested, folding your arms again as you realise that the boy has not a clue of what he’s talking about.   “Chan, I’ve never been in love,” you tell him, ignoring the heat that seems to have made its way to your cheeks. “I’ve only ever written about it from an outsiders point of view. I’ve never even been in a proper relationship.”   Its a tad awkward. You can see that the top of his ears is painted red by embarrassment. You avoid his eyes in hasty flicks from one thing to another. The fabric of the couch, to the carpet, to the pair who are sitting in the middle of the room, controllers in hand.   “It's okay,” the boy finally says, avoiding your eyes too. “I’ve never been in love either, and I’ve got to write and record a freaking love song.”   You let a small ‘oh’ slip from your mouth, nodding as your eyes trail back down to your messy notes.   “Maybe we could help out each other? Some study dates perhaps?” The boy suggests, a hand indicating your pile of notes, a cheesy smile trying to help fuel his suggestion, trying to win you over.   “Not a freaking chance,” you reply, knocking off his smirk as you gather your things. “Do your own study, Mr Bang, then I’ll think about it.”   And with that, you leave his shell shocked self on the couch, knowing perfectly well that you’d be showing him those notes in a day or so.   ii.

As luck would have it, you were here, two days later, bribed by the one and only for your notes, his not-so-terrible corrupt gift being to buy you coffee for the remaining three weeks until your assignments were both handed in.   There was only one weakness you had, and he had exploited it with a smile. But you’d let him. After all, free coffee was free coffee.   “You know,” You raise your head, watching the boy over the top of the iced coffee that was clutched in your sweater-ed hands. “My teacher recommended we ‘fall in love’ so we could write a song about it for the unit.”   You can't but help laugh, nodding as you swallow the bitter liquid.   “My professor said the same.” Rolling your eyes at the memory, your smile turns to a cringe. “Then all the couples cheered and started making out.”   He mirrors your disgusted face, fingers curling around his mug of coffee as he sits up to properly read your notes.   “‘Love is manipulating” you tell him. “The fine line between love and hate can only come down to trust, which is why love often only ends in pain. We’re pushed to find love, and it can only ruin us. Love simply cannot exist in a realistic sense”

“Wait, wait, wait. You don’t believe that romantic love can exist at all?”   You take another sip of your coffee, shaking your head to confirm your answer to his question. “No.”   He’s put the notebook down now - or rather dropped it onto the table -, slumping back into the chair as he shakes his head at you, the same smile never leaving his features as he stares at you in disbelief.   You mirror him, leaning back, to only gesture to him. “What's your idea then?”   Chan seems to think for a second, fingers digging into his pocket to grab a pen, body slumping forwards as he begins writing in your notebook.   You take note of the way he slants the paper when he writes, turning his head just slightly to look down at it. It was almost strangely attractive. Chan himself was strangely attractive when he was writing, whether that was in a lecture, or when he was jotting down lyrics.   You can see how his fingers grip the pen tightly, pressing it into the paper to write in small, precise letters. Under the curly mess of blond, his eyebrows furrow as he concentrates, transferring the words swirling his head, to the paper.   Then he sits up, knocking you from your observatory state, eyes awkwardly landing on the almost empty glass in front of you as you try to mask the fact you were staring a little too intently.   “My insight,” he reads. “is that true love will only prevail when one can open their heart and mind, without a doubt that the other person will hurt them. Unlike what you said, I really do think that love is possible.”

“Maslow explained love to be a need. Everyone must experience love at some point in their lifetime to feel like they are completely themselves. Everyone deserves to feel loved, and everyone needs experience what it feels like to be loved.”   You sit forward in your seat. “But that's the thing,” you argue. “A realistic love can only bring you pain and sorrow. That why we only read about fabricated love from peoples minds, because it makes us forget about what a painfully cruel world we can live in.”   He sits back, shaking his head, no hint of a smile this time. “But we don’t have to live in that kind of a world. You said it yourself; ‘can live in’. I promise you Y/N, I’ll change your mind by the time the assessment is finished.”   “I’d like to see you try.” You reply, eyes firmly on his.   He sticks out a pinky, a silent promise. You smile, wrapping yours around his. I promise to change your mind.   iii.   It’s been a few days since that promise had been made, Chan still not managing to change your mind. Your views were still the same on love, even if your whole common room had disagreed on the most part.   But you’d both been busy on this assignment. Chan has been making beats that you could hear through the wall, somewhat soothing to your mind when it was running wild.   You’d only had a few hours of sleep, scattered throughout your day. You’d spent it at the computer mainly, your desk littered with empty pens and screwed up paper.   Well, it wasn’t just your desk. Your whole room seemed to be completely engulfed by stray papers, many of which had overflowed out from the bin.   You hadn’t really left the room, only heading out to the small kitchen for a pack of instant noodles, or to go to the bathroom, then closing the door to the dark room as you returned to your original hunched position.   You’d also only seen Chan in brief glances as you were heading back to your room. It seemed that perhaps Chan too was plagued by days of pondering, just as you were.   Your glasses are almost pressed against the screen of the monitor, watching the blinking cursor. You can barely see the word; Love, the title of your narrative. No matter how much you looked at the word, you still couldn’t fathom the word. Nothing special came to your mind upon hearing the word, rather only the memory of Chan intertwining your pinky’s in a silent promise to change your mind about love.   Was this the first stage of that promise happening already?   Likewise, nothing came to your mind upon starting at that stupid cursor for hours on end. You couldn’t possibly start a realistic love narrative with a pinky promise, could you?   You don’t quite register the door opening, but you sure do see it. The light of the day seems to burn your eyes almost instantly, a groan escaping from your lips as you scrunch your eyes closed and rub your aching temples with the pads of your fingers.   “I knew you were brainstorming, but holy shit Y/N.”   Your ears perk up at Chan’s voice, eyes opening to take in the blond who is standing in your door frame, eyes wide as he takes in the discarded drafts of writing.   Your eyes follow his, pointed over at the overflowing bin in the corner, a giving him a small sheepish smile when his eyes meet back with yours.   Shaking his head, he takes your wrist, pulling you up from the chair.   “Hey!” You groan, knees sore from your countless hours of sitting.   “We’re going for coffee. You need to get out of this room - No, no, no - this building. You need to get out of this building.”   You sigh, following him out of the overflowing room wordlessly. Chan had a habit of being right about things, and this was one occasion you knew you couldn’t argue with him on.   The walk to the coffee shop helps you clear your stormy head, ideas coming and going, but the idea of finally having a coffee scratches at your mind.   “Hey,” Chan breaks you from your thoughts, walking from the front counter with a number in his hands. “Let’s sit. I’ve ordered.”   So you both pile into a booth, awaiting your coffees with sleepy anxiety.   Not much is said, yet not much needs to be said. You feel somewhat at peace now that you’re out of your own head. Chan really helped too. You two have become so close over the last few years, that these moments were really nice. You could just chill in each other’s presence without it being awkward.   Upon the arrival of the coffees, you perk up a little coffee, drinking up the bittersweet liquid as soon as it touches your fingertips.   “Slow down, you’ll make yourself sick, my god.”   Looking over your glass, you can see him laughing. Shooting him a sheepish smile, you place the glass down, your fingers fiddling with each other.   “Any luck with the music?” You ask finally, looking over the table.   “I’ve got the music, it’s just the lyrics and the recording now. But that’s always the hardest part. I’ve got some ideas, so I’m going pretty on track with it all. How’s the writing going?”   “Shit,” you laugh, shaking your head. “I’ve developed writers block on the topic of love it seems.”   “You’ll get there. Really, it’ll come to you when you least expect it.”   You nod along at his words, but it soon turns to a sigh, head falling into your hands.   “Chan,” you say tiredly, pulling your head up to look at the boy with all the strength you can truly muster up. “If you don’t let me sleep on your right now, I think I’m going to die.”   He loses it. With his head thrown back, you can see that the boy is as almost as tired as you are. Yet, he does get up, slipping into the booth beside you.   You fall into him, coffee abandoned from your mind, eyes closing as your head touches his shoulder.   His arm goes around you, perhaps instinctively. But you’re too tired to even care, your one final brain cell figuring that perhaps he’s holding you close so you don’t collapse head first into the table.   “Thank you,” You whisper tiredly. “I didn’t want to die on a sticky table. Your hoodie is really soft, so now I can die peacefully.”   You can feel his smile, the slight laugh too.   His free hand pats your hair. “No sticky table endgame for you, my dear.”   You laugh at this, eyes still closed as your cheek is pressed to the material of his hoodie.   You let your body finally relax a little, blending into the atmosphere of fresh coffee ground - one you really loved. But you can’t ignore the new scent either. This scent felt different, made you feel different.   You’re not sure if it’s butterflies or the coffee, but this feeling was something you really had no idea of.   Was this the second stage of his promise?   iv.   The days seemed to blur into each other, most of your hours spent with Chan. You two had made the college cafe your staple shop, meeting at some point in the day to have just space out completely together. It didn’t matter if you were writing on your laptop, or if he was producing on his, his company was just enough for you.   It had happened a few times today, but you once again realised with a jolt that you couldn’t stop thinking of the cute producer. You could see him now over the top of your computer, earbuds in as he nods to the beat only he could hear, a wide smile gracing his features when he meets your eyes.   Above everything, you wanted him to hold you like he had again. You wanted him to chuck his arm around your shoulders as he laughed at something you’d said. You wanted more than a housemate.   You smile back at him, eyes half focusing on the lines you’d typed out.   Boy, you’re falling for him, but there's no way in hell that you would be telling him that.   “Hey,” Chan’s voice takes your out of your thoughts. “It’s getting late. We should probably head back.”   Nodding, you close up your laptop for the night, shoving it into its bag along with the few pens and notebook you had.   You both slip out of the cafe, the night air cool against your skin. You adjust the strap of your bag, pulling it up as it begins to slip over your shoulder.   With your phone in hand, you can see that its quite late, probably something you’d live to regret tomorrow morning for your 4-hour long lecture.   Upon arriving at the dorms, you change and immediately collapse into your bed, bidding Chan a loud ‘goodnight’ as you turn off your lamp. Eyes closing, you barely even remember falling asleep.   You also don’t quite remember your dream, but what does stick with you is the sheer terror of a nightmare. It grabs at you, even whilst your asleep.   Your eyes shoot open in a blur, breathing heavy as you take in your surroundings. The hefty unsettling feeling lays over you, pressing into your chest as you come to sense just where you are, and what you had been dreaming about.   Pushing yourself up, you find yourself getting more anxious, eyes welling as a black pit settles in your chest; heavy.   Your feet hit the carpet, hands crossed over your arms as you walk towards the door.   The time is far from your mind.   Taking a shaky breath, you lightly rap on the door to Chan’s room, your breaths echoing around the kitchen. “Chan, are you awake?" Some part of you prays that he doesn’t answer, to save yourself the embarrassment of being completely in such a state because of one of your nightmares. But then, if he did answer, would it be so bad?   The door opens, Chan’s tall frame looming over you. You can see him well, even in the darkness, his hair is slightly tousled, clothes wrinkled. But his eyes are open, awake, and full of concern as they land on you.   You don’t say anything, but rather step forward, arms wrapping around his middle. His body relaxes, arms wrapping around your frame.   “I’m sorry,” Your voice shakes, cheek pressing against his chest as you try to banish your anxiety away. “I had a nightmare, and I didn’t know what else to do…”   He nods, holding you a little tighter. It seems to relieve you in some weird way; to be held in the arms of someone you know is safe.   You’d told him previously about how your nightmares were induced by stress. When it had gotten especially bad within your first year of studying, he’d stayed in the common room with you until you’d felt better.   “You don’t need to explain,” Breaking away from you, he keeps a hand on your wrist, opening the door a little wider. “You can stay with me if you’d like.”   Wordlessly, you nod, following him in.   Sitting down on the side of the bed, you feel slightly awkward, watching as he crosses to the other side and slips under the blanket.   “You can lie down you know.” “O-oh, okay.”   Some part of your brain cringes at your response, knowing that you’ll probably live to regret it later. But for now, you lie down, focusing your efforts on trying to get to sleep.   You let out another shaky breath, eyes wandering over the room of his room. Knitting your fingers, you try not to disturb the boy with your fidgeting.   A hand comes into contact with your own, making you look over at the boy, who is wide awake next to you. He gestures for you to move a little closer, a light smile on his features.   “Are you sure?” You whisper, heartbeat loud in your ears.   “You look like you need a hug.”   So you comply, turning into him, head rested on his arm. You feel his free arm pull you close.   Sure, you’d hugged Chan before, hell you’d even cuddled him.   But this was different, right? Your heartbeat was telling you that much, a constant pound in your chest you prayed that Chan couldn’t feel.   You’re not sure when exactly you close your eyes, but when you open them again, you’re pressed to his chest, his hands laying neatly on your back as his arms encircle you.   You barely realize how close you truly are, slumber taking over you in a short few seconds, mind shutting down for the night once more.   Chan is holding you. Chan is holding you.

...   The sound of your alarm is blaring, body groaning almost subconsciously as you roll over to stop the noise.   Hand flapping out across the bedside table, you suddenly realize with a jolt that you’re not in your room.   Bolting upright, you take in the unfamiliar room, your alarm cutting off to signal 6 more minutes of sleep. But you can’t sleep, mind wide awake as you process what exactly happened last night.   Looking around, there are no traces of the boy, rather a yellow sticky note in his place.   “Had a 6am lecture. There’s a coffee in the fridge though!! Shoot me a text when your lecture is finished and we can get some actual coffee.”   You smile down at his messy scrawl, eyes gazing around the room.   It is neat, everything in its own spot. His desk is specially organized, music equipment laid out near some pens and an open notebook, a notebook you saw him with quite often.   You don’t even realize your standing in front of it till you see the messy scrawl of song lyrics writing in your hands, eyes darting back and forth as you take in the words.   His songs, they were beautiful.   Then it hits you like a bolt of lightning. His songs seemed to spark something deep in your mind, fingers itching to write down the ideas that have been summoned to the forefront of your mind.   Neither less to say, you didn’t focus too much on your lecture, but rather sat at the back, fingers clicking over the keys of your laptop, the ideas are written in a messy scrawling only you could truly read sitting next to you.   You’re writing, after a long case of writers block. But you’re writing with him at the forefront of your mind.   If that was a good or bad thing, you don’t know. But you do know that your feelings about Bang Chan had definitely changed.   You like him, just like you always had. He was still your goofy best friend of a housemate, who laughed with you when you did something stupid, who made you both hot chocolate on your 3am study sessions.   The boy who promised to change your mind about love. Now he really was.   v.

“It's finished!”   You look up at the blond who is beaming as he walks towards you, notebook in hand.   You know what he means immediately. The song, the love song, was finished.   You give him a grin equally as big, gesturing for him to sit across from you in the booth.   “Can I listen?!” You ask, watching as he fumbles with his phone.   “Of course,” he looks at you incredulously. “You don’t get a choice.”   You laugh at this, shaking your head as he hands you his earphones, fingers hovering over the play button on the track memo. Giving him the thumbs up, you can’t but help the chills that run over your body as the first note plays.   “I love it already.” You tell him. He holds up a hand, silently telling you to keep listening, but the smile on his face is evidence that your compliment is enough to fluster him a little.   The song is almost exactly like your story. From the recounts of precious memories to the feelings of being grounded, safe.   Some part of your heart swelled at the lyrics, and the other sank.   The song was so beautiful, and yet so sad. Just how long would you two be walking together in your dreams?   “What do you think?”   He’s taken out one of the headphones now, a wide smile on his face, but fingers fidgeting at one of his rings.   “I really like it, Chan.” You tell him, which was certainly the truth. You do like it. “It’s really beautiful.”   You guess that some selfish part of you wanted the song to be about you. That this was his way of confessing. That you two could walk together in one dream, just as the characters in his song do.   But the boy just smiles, thanking you as he stuffs his things into his pocket.   “Do you want your regular?” He asks. “Yes please.”   Your eyes linger over his frame as he slips out from the seat, walking towards the counter.   His hair often bounced as he walked, but you noted that today it was laying slightly flatter than his usual curly mess, parted down the middle, brushed, and styled too.   It’s like he was trying to impress someone. And maybe that someone wasn’t you.   Even if this was the case, you couldn’t scrap your whole story now. You would finish it, even if it meant you had to do it painfully.   Setting the number down, his hand runs in front of your face.   “Hello? Earth to Y/N?”   You blink, knocking you from your unconscious staring. “Oh, sorry.”   His smile fades slightly, body leaning forward. “You okay? You don’t seem like your normal self.”   Forcing up a smile, you shake your head, pointing to your temple. “Too many thoughts today.”   You had a habit of being in your own head, Chan knew this too. It was just what you did as a writer, brainstorming ideas or little snippets of writing you acted out in your head.   “Do you need paper?”   You nodded, fingers pulling the pen from your bun.   You’d put it there during your lecture, something you often did on the days your creativity sparked.   He passes you his notebook, the same one you’d seen earlier that morning, flipping to a blank page before pushing it in front of you.   You hesitate, looking up at the male across from you before you press the ink to the paper.   One thought seems to come to the forefront of your mind, pen swirling across the page in cursive letters as you write it down   “I think you might have the prettiest eyes in the world.”   It was cheesy, but it was really the truth. Every time you made eye contact with Chan, his eyes seem to glimmer. Watching him produce was like that too. You could see the passion reflected in his eyes.   “I think you might have the prettiest eyes in the world,” You barely register the words coming from your mouth, looking up at Chan with wide eyes.   “I said that out loud didn’t I.” “Yes. You did.”   You cover your face in embarrassment, and apology on your lips. But he speaks before you get a chance to even justify yourself.   “You know,” he looks around the cafe. “I usually hate Monday’s, but now I get to see you, so I quite enjoy them.”   Your heart beats wildly in your chest, hands dropping into your lap. You avoid his eyes, pink staining your cheeks. Was this what you thought it was?   He shakes his head, hands now flat on the table.   “Will you continue being my Sunday poetry and coffee, muse?”   You look up at him, heart in your throat. “Did you just ask me out in fancy terms?”   “Maybe,” Chan shrugs. “You have to admit, it was a good line. So what do you say?”   Sitting up now, you finally look him in the eyes, his light smile triggering your own.   “I say yes, but only if you continue to be my pre-lecture 6am Monday coffee.” “Deal.”   vi.

Bursting into the common room, you hold up the stapled mass of paper in your hand.   “It’s finished!” You exclaim to those in the room, getting a load of cheers and claps in return.   Even though your assignment was due tomorrow, you had to admit that this was the first assignment you’d really invested your time in doing, hopefully producing one of your best pieces of writing so far.   Chan appears from nowhere, easily taking the stapled story out of your hands with nothing but a swipe, planting himself on the couch as he flicks to the first page.   You sit across from him, eyes watching as his flick over the pages of typed print, a small smile here and there.   “This seems like a very familiar story.” He smirks, handing the stack back to you when he’s finished.   You roll your eyes, biting back a sarcastic remark.   “It seems my professor was right about finding someone to fall for.”   He raises an eyebrow at this.   “Does this mean your views on love have changed?” “...yes.”   The mumbled reply doesn’t go unnoticed by Bang Chan, body moving closer to yours, a wide smile on his features.   “Did I finally convince you? Did you really change?”   “Only for you, Bang Chan.” You tease, shoving him away.   His hand touches his chest, face expressing an overdramatic response to your words. “Stop it, I’m shy.”   Rolling your eyes, you hit his head with printed narrative, standing up from the couch.   “I think this calls for a coffee.”   “Agreed,” he links his arm with yours. “I could use a coffee.”   ...   Knocking on the door of your professor, you shoot Chan a nervous smile, hand pushing down on the handle at the sound of a muffled ‘come in’.   “Hi,” you say, holding out the stack of paper towards him. “I’ve just come in to give you my assignment.”   “Ah,” he smiles, taking the paper with two hands. “Thank you.”   His eyes flick to Chan, who is standing at the door, then back to you.   “Y/N,” he asks, eyes turned up in a smile. “Did you enjoy this assessment? I’m trying to get all of my students feedback on it.”   “Oh,” you breathe, nodding. “I really enjoyed it. I feel like I learnt a lot, and grew as a future writer.”   He nods, holding up your pages. “I sure look towards to reading this. Thank you, you may go now.”   Politely bowing your head as a silent thanks, you give Chan a small smile as you turn back, walking towards the corridor.   “Oh Y/N!” “Yes, sir?”   Your fingers are on the handle of the door, other hand lacing with Chan’s nervously.   “Didn’t I tell you?” He gestures to Chan and you, a knowing smile on your face.   You both laugh nervously, nodding.   He smiles at this, shaking his head. “Go on, you two lovers. I won’t waste your time much longer.”   Quickly scurrying off, you two laugh about your professor.   “How much do you want to bet that he totally planned this with your teacher.”   “Hey, that’s a fair idea,” Chan replies, looking down at you. “He probably knew that someone was bound to take his advice.”   Rolling your eyes, you shove him away from you lightly.   “I take everything back.” “C’mon! I’m your man now!”   His shoulder rubs against yours as you two continue walking.   “You know, I flirted with you nonstop for like the last few months.”   You stop walking, looking up at him.   “You did?” “Yes, but you were way too thick to notice. Hell, Y/N, I literally called you sweetheart, muse, and my dearest.”   You huff, crossing your arms. “So you planned this? For me to finally fall for you whilst we were doing this topic?”   He shrugs with a cheesy smile. “Maybe. I mean, now you get to get your 6am Monday coffee with me.”   You shake your head at him, wrapping your arm around his middle. “I’m glad you did because now I get free coffee for the rest of my life.”   Arm around your shoulder now, he laughs, throwing his head back in such a way that made you laugh along with him.   “You just make my day,” he comments, pulling you closer to him. “SIKE you’re an idiot!”   The kiss that is pressed to your cheek makes you squirm, trying to push him in the chest. But his grip is way too strong for you, laugh loud in your ears.   Shaking your head, you finally push him. “You’re dead to me now Bang Chan.”   “Baby!” He muses, now walking backwards as he keeps up with you. “Cmon! I was only being sarcastic!”   “I’m going to laugh so hard when you trip over.” you deadpan, eyes focused straight ahead as you cross your arms over your chest. It was hard not to smile, it tugging at the sides of your mouth. But you don’t give in to the itch.   “That’s only because I’m falling for you, sweetheart.”

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creativi-dees1509-blog · 5 years ago

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First Blog: Netflix Documentary

Blog 1: Killer inside: The Mind of Aaron Hernandez

This documentary just dropped last Wednesday and I got a chance to view this three part event. During the time of the case I very seldomly kept tabs on the case. I watched it, but not that often. I just remembered everyone painting him as killer and not really giving him the benefit of the doubt at all. I remembered in that year my sister was complaining that he didn’t get a fair trial, but of course she’s a Patriots fan so I painted her biased. Fast forward a thousand years later and as I’m getting ready to watch another episode of the Magician -great show by the way- I see a trailer pop up Monday…a very dramatic trailer and labeled the Mind of Aaron Hernandez and right away I add on my list, so as soon as it debuts I view.

Here’s my take on the Aaron Hernandez case by the documentary perception. Aaron is charged for the murder of Odin Lloyd and then later a double murder in Florida. From what I gathered the evidence on the Odin Lloyd case was circumstantial. No evidence that he was the one that murdered him. The blueberry bubble gum and black and mild that he purchased prior that was found on the murder scene is only enough evidence to prove he was there…not that he committed the murder. Along with the rental car. From text messages and events leading up to Lloyd’s murder there was no motive there at all. Nothing but rumors and hearsay. Then they attempted to get him on the double murder of two “innocent” men that he randomly shot up because a drink spilled on him? Now Alexander Bradley (looks shady as hell) that was with him that claims Hernandez shot him in the head…I felt he wasn’t a credited witness from the first testimony. This dude is facing four charges and is looking for them to get drop and clearly made a deal with the prosecution, because what would be the reason for the prosecution to list the charges this witness was facing, other than blackmail of some sort. That’s what it sounded like to me. The lawyer Hernandez had previously was pitiful. I mean his representation was terrible. I literally felt like the lawyer did nothing to help Hernandez, in fact if I didn’t know any better, I’d think he was in bed with the prosecution. He could’ve made a better case than what he did. It was basically let’s see how the case turns out based on the evidence they have build up. The case had no direction. It sounded to me like witch hunt. This man’s in prison, -not sure if he’s guilty or not- waiting for a sentencing and he gets life based on the what? A jury’s bias because he tatted up with a rough past. I feel like Hernandez was painted as a killer from day one. Netflix already labeled the series with a biased titled and they’re the ones who documented the series and yet they came up with “inside killer”. I am a person who believes there are two sides to every story. I tried to watch the documentary with an open mind, and I do feel for families who had to go through these devastating years losing a loved one. I really do. We can only suggest than Hernandez is a killer. Guarantee if this was Rob Gronkowski instead of Aaron Hernandez, the state of Mass. would have presented this case in a completely different light.

They proceed with the other “disturbing” evidence of Hernandez at home playing with his kids and his “associates” right after Lloyd’s death. Because the video footage didn’t show a sad or scared Hernandez this means he murdered someone. After he was found guilty Hernandez later on hired Jose’ Baez. Someone who cared to prove the evidence they had as circumstantial. He even said in the courtroom the evidence wasn’t hard to find. He found video footage that suggested Hernandez wasn’t angry that night. Witness to testify what they saw that night. The previous witnesses…if you in the club, drinking, how the hell do you remember what Hernandez eyes look like? Were they killer eyes? Really? C’mon man. So when Baez said the evidence suggesting Hernandez wasn’t angry that night wasn’t heard to find…all they had to do was look at it. There was a lot of shadiness going on with this case. They had just mentioned earlier in the documentary that Bradley was shooting people up for no reason. A car shootout wouldn’t be up his ally? Again, the most they had on Hernandez is he had to have committed those murders because he smoked weed a lot and was in clubs. If smoking weed, drinking, bouncing around clubs, and getting in the bar fights makes you a murderer than damn, nearly 80% of American must be murderers.

Just a side note: I do believe that Bobby Kraft and Urban Meyer could’ve done more to help Hernandez. Meyer knew that Hernandez had some trouble in CT if he noticed the change every time he visited home. Why of all teams would you write a letter of recommendation to NE? I get Oakland and others…but NE? No. Then once he got to NE when he came to Belichek (spelling?) and asked to be traded, instead of just…straight…no. He should’ve been asking some probing questions. He might’ve been better off in a whole ‘nother state away all the violence and criminal activities he was involved with before. I know Hernandez is a grown man, but on his assessment his maturity level was graded 1 on a scale of 1-10. I’m assuming that means he was child-like. I do believe he might’ve needed better guidance. NFL owners and coaches only care about you when you’re making them money. Never mind the players mental health.

To conclude my review for the most part I agreed with every Baez said about the Hernandez case. The investigation was beyond sloppy and I expected a better and more thorough investigation from a big state like Massachusetts. I guess it was thorough, but they couldn’t find solid proof that Hernandez committed these murders. You can argue that he’s guilty by association and who knows he could’ve been the one running the whole operation. Truth is you can’t proof it. Like OJ Simpson. Now I will say this the documentary turned out to be watchable, but disappointing. Documentary steered in too many different directions in the narrative they were trying to run with. First it was his upbringing, watching his father abuse his mom and his toxic masculinity. Then it became some off based random document about his sexuality…which is completely irrelevant to the case. Being gay doesn’t not make you murder people. I understand blaming anger on him locking his sexuality in the closet and paranoid about someone finding out…but then they blamed his anger and sudden “violent” mood swings on CTE?! So…which was it? Then they claim the suicide was due to him trying to make his wife rich…then it became about CTE again. I really do feel that something very shady was happening with this case. By the court video footage when he was acquitted on the double homicide that was the most emotion, I’d seen him show in ALL the courtroom footage. He appeared happy to beat the charges and maybe hopeful that he would win his appeal for the Odin Lloyd case. Five days before the appeal that he likely would have won, he just ends his life? No security guards the whole night, nobody around to watch the floor. CTE caused that at age 27. Hmm. Documentary was sorta choppy, kinda sloppy for Netflix. I think the series should’ve been better organized. I love Netflix documentaries, but documentary was barely bearable. I expected so much more. Wouldnt recommend it.

#CreativiDees Aaron Hernandez Netflix Documentary InsideKiller MindofAaronHernandez NEPatriots RobertKraft BillBelicheck Blogger

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grad703designresearchsophielewis · 2 years ago

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Understanding the Brief

Lecture notes:

• Referencing for this course is APA 7th Use APA 7th System - anything that is not yours - reference • Write the abstract, introduction and conclusion last • Submit creative work with written exegesis

Exegesis • Written component - explains and demonstrates creative process, through dialogue • Assumes voice of academic objectivity - provides historical, theoretical context for creative practice • Helps to understand how to articulate objective claims for innovation, enabling them to retain a voiced personal relationship with their practice • (can help you understand how you function as a designer, and your design process)

Brief • Write an exegesis for GRAD702 project • Position design practice as a form of academic research • Considering, ideas, themes, concepts, approaches • Text will contain relevant information - to positioning of practice - provide context for informed reading of design outcome

Don't put your formative or summative text on blog because Turnitin will recognise as plaigorism On blog - week by week reflection

Formative Assessment Due 12pm Friday 2nd September

• Chapter 1 & 2 - Word Doc file • URL link with blog (upload to Turnitin - Canvas)

Summative Assessment Due 12pm Tuesday 25th October

• 1 x PDF of Exegesis • URL link with blog (upload to Turnitin - Canvas) Blog 2 tabs on blog (two separate blogs) Document separately

1 x 702 - communication design - document more on process 1 x 703 - design research - Reflect on readings, articles, synthesis of materials, document exercises you do in class, document journey of research, ore analytical Use word-press? Single URL You can have tabs on word-press

Or you can use tumblr 2 blogs

Biographical telling • Personal elements within design researcher • Voice - marginalised voices • Draws private and scholar lives together - what's important to me, what's important in my work - link with scholar text/articles • Personal narrative as ongoing research - dicussing ideas as they progress

EXEGESIS STRUCTURE

Abstract Introduction

1. Positioning the researcher 2. Contextual review 3. Methodology 4. Critical commentary 5. Conclusion

Appendix

PRACTICE-LED RESEARCH JOURNEY

Action research • Reflection-in-action - thinking on your feet, as you make • Reflection-on-action - this is done later on • Reflection-for-action - what next, what are your needs and hopes?

Reflect on your creative process • Take stoke of what you are doing - record it • Identify and define problems • Evaluate what and how elements are working • Be efficient and effective in your use of time • Be able to find alternative ways of doing things • Analyse evidence - arrive at a personal opinion and solution • Interpret, compare, contract and evaluate visual material

ASPECT TO CONSIDER ABOUT PRACTICE • Compositionally/formally • Technically • Theoretically • Aesthetically • Historical, things that you like - captivate thinking

Researcher - what's inside the designer? • Creativity • Their way of doing things • Intuition • Thoughts/ideas • Serendipity • Improvisation • Curiosity

Designer - What's outside the designer? • Audience • Message/brief • Why? What? • Collecting things • Reading things • Visualising things • Knowing more about it

Who am I in relation to the research and designs I am producing? How do I influence my research and the outcomes?

'we have a wonderful power to change things'

How does it look? • Not knowing where you are going • Contingent • Embraces discovery + unknown • Love disruption and the unexpected • Draw your map on the go • Find your way through the practice

Remember to ask questions

REFLECTIVE BLOG • Record comments and feedback from peers, and lectures • Collect and comment on relevant artworks/writing • Document your work in progress - reflect on this • Be constructively self-critical • Take notes at talks/lectures - record thoughts and responses • Invest in your journal

Why journaling is important • Make decisions more objectively • Embrace challenges • Reflect on learnings • Improves writing ability • Plan for and prevent future troubles in project • Build self-discipline - make a habit to write your reflections • Creatively find solutions for project

Enable projects that foster and share knowledge systems

REMINDER • Check timetable • Do homework • Be on time • Engage in discovery • Ideate, ideate, ideate • Journaling • Enjoy • Engage with skills, mind, heart

My learnings from the lecture was that I came away with an understanding of what was required of the brief. I also gained knowledge and more insight into the meaning of an exegesis, practice-led research and the importance of documenting and recording your design process.

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dailyfunnygifs · 4 years ago

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The Crazy Greek Guy

I work at a local tech store where we mend both private and business computers, and offer IT support for neighborhood companies. We also sometimes offer remote service for residential customers (mostly older folks ). This narrative is just one of these times...One of our customers is a 90-something year old Greek man who's super fine, but only really doesn't understand what's going on seeing computers. Anyhow he called in and claims that he ran into several troubles. He said sometimes it requires a little while because of his personal computer to wake up once he admits it, he can not get his online banking , and he wants help locating the webpage with"the programs". I advised him I can definitely help with that.We've got a link on the site to obtain our remote service tool, and assisting him browse into it was... an adventure. He did not understand what a browser was, therefore after trying to describe it to get a couple of minutes he goes,"Ah! I tell him , utilize"that the Google" (Google Chrome) to visit our site (had to describe where the URL bar is too). When he gets into what I assume is our site, he begins reading me what he sees... Him:"I visit home, I visit [company logo], I see that a smiling guy," etc., what except the menu choice he wants to click . After a moment or so of not having the ability to find a word in, he finally finds clicks on it, and begins reading what he sees on another page...Approximately 10 minutes of attempting to direct him via studying into the code and launching the downloaded document, I could eventually remote in, and oh boy... It had been in high-contrast manner, plane mode was on (plugged in via ethernet so that I had link ), and"the Google" had multiple windows, 20+ tabs open, and had been zoomed in so far you can just find a site's navigation bar which was about it (250 percent + so zoom).I began to put out the first flames, but he blatantly begins opening and shutting his computer wanting to show me it does not come up straight away (which it will ), which makes it quite tough to keep on working... After I was eventually able to explain to him that he wants to quit doing this so that I could help him, I began to fix the sleeping problem. I assessed his energy settings, checked to make certain that it was not moving into hibernate mode, which it was not, etc.. I told him there is not really much that I could do about his pc intermittently taking some time to wake up out of sleep, but I explained I could try running a few Windows fix tools to determine whether this helps. Me:"Notice that percent there?" (speaking about SFC percent absolute )Him:"You need me to shut the computer and start it ?"Him:"Ok, I'll do this."Something like 30 minutes after he gives me back a call, I distant back , and everything appears to be fine. He asks me to help him locate"the webpage with the programs", so that I go through"that the Google", believing it is either the tab page where you will find icons of recent site's he has been around, or even his bookmarks bar/folder, something like this. He states that none of these are what he is searching for, so that I shut from"the Google" and he goes,"Ah! The man actually did not understand what a desktop computer was... I needed to clarify that"the Google" was a program that started along with his background, and also to contact his desktopcomputer, he needed to shut from it so he would open something different. He'd like 2-3 images on his desktop computer he liked to start every now and then.In general, he is a super nice man, thanked me for supporting himetc.. It is just amusing sometimes what a few folks do not understand about matters that others do everyday.

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kritainfomatics · 4 years ago

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PAM006 Strategic Financial Project (SFP)

Section 1 (90% weighting of this assignment) This should be submitted as a separate document and uploaded to the Project Turnitin submission link for this project via the designated relevant tab (section 1). Your Individual New business venture proposal/Workplace business-strategic plan report You are required to produce a 5-year business/strategic plan report. There are three potential report scenarios from which you should select one:

You may if you wish situate your report within your Workplace scenario. If you do so it should be suitable for consideration by a new management team for your workplace in the context of the strategic challenges facing the company.

You may if you wish use a workplace/company which is not your primary workplace but one which you are familiar with and can have access to relevant data and information (which can be quite challenging).

You may if you wish prepare a business/strategic plan report for a new business venture (NBV) scenario, the report should be suitable for potential investors and relevant stakeholders. In any of these three scenarios, appropriate permission of use of data should be sought. Where data is of a confidential nature, a note should be placed on the front of your title page stating the following: This project is CONFIDENTIAL and is not to be made accessible outside those academics who are marking/examining the project and the UOL Programme Team. Your report should be between 4,000 words and a maximum of 4,500 words. Penalties apply for exceeding the word count. No formal penalties apply for using fewer than 4,000 words but in so doing you may be penalising yourself as it is likely to be challenging to respond to the requirement in less than 4,000 words. When combined with Section 2 the total word count should not exceed 6,000 words. State an accurate word count on the title page of Section 1. Failure to do so will result in a 5 mark penalty. In producing your report you should: a) Research the relevant ‘real world’ industry, market and business environment the company/venture is situated in. You should use a combination of relevant real world primary and/or secondary research to provide the basis upon which your strategic choices are made. b) Utilise a range of strategic tools (SWOT, PESTLE, Ansoff, Porter and so on as appropriate) to help analyse the relevant situated context. c) Identify, explore and evaluate alternative strategies for developing the business. d) Arising out of a), b)and c)above, setout a compelling five-year business planconsultancy report designed to enhance shareholder value. You may use your own definition ofshareholder value but must explain and justify its selection. The report may identify a range of strategies for consideration but should ultimately put forward your recommendation with evidenced Page 5 of 12 justification for why the proposed is the best way forward. e) Identify specific key performances (KPIs) to assist in measuring to what degree shareholder value is being enhanced. These KPIs should be justified and appropriately monitored such that it facilitates a good overview of performance. f) Include extracts of your spreadsheet planning tool results/financial forecasts within your report to strengthen your justifications and evidence. You are not required to submit the actual planning tool. However, the connectivity of your financial plans should flow throughout your report and should be presented in a user-friendly and robust manner. d) Review your proposed plan, and identify and assess the key risks within it. You should include graphs, tables and figures within the main body of the report where appropriate. Please refer to the Project Presentation Guide document within the Final Project section on the VLE for word count guidance for tables and graphs. If you carry out any primary research you should include relevant extracts within the main body or an appendix as part of the evidence of carrying out that primary research and appropriate analysis. Where you carry out secondary research you should ensure you reference appropriately. PLEASE NOTE: Any appendices should not contain any materials central to the core thrust of the assignment: it should not contain information or large amounts of text which you cannot fit into the main body of your report to escape the word count limit! As such, appendices content will not be considered within the mark scheme formally but will, of course, provide the highlights of your evidence for reference purposes. The following criteria will be assessed on a scale of up to 10 mapped to the mark ranges for this module (point 4 above):  Overall contextual research into the relevant industry, market and business environment (15%)  Use of primary and/or secondary research to justify the strategic option(s) being set out for the organisation (15%)  Definition and justification of shareholder value for chosen organisation (6%)  Recommended strategy/strategies and justification of those strategies(8%),  Robust linkages with your financial forecasts(11%)  New business venture/workplace scenario-specific KPIs justification (10%)  Identification and assessment of key risks within the proposed plan (10%)  The quality of the reporttaking account of cohesion, links with your research, evidence, financials, justifications and associated considerations (20%) -Note: this will be assessed using the assessor’s academic judgement of the overallsubmission presented.  Overall communication (5%) –Note:this will be assessed using the assessor’s academic judgement of the overall submission presented. Page 6 of 12 To help you frame your thoughts around the report, here are a few points to think about:  In essence, you are doing something similar to the Icarus activity in that you are thinking ahead strategically for an organisation over the next 5 years.  Whether you are using your workplace scenario or a new business venture (NBV) scenario, there is a skeleton spreadsheet planning tool which you can use to explore different scenarios. The skeleton tool, however, is just that – a tool. We have provided this to help you but the extent of its usage is up to you. If you are using your workplace, you may already have access to a tool or may need to develop a simple one using the skeleton or your own to aid your exploration of options. If you are going for the NBV scenario, you may wish to create your own simple tool or create an adapted version of the skeleton or you can use workings of your own design. Again, this is your choice to make.  Ultimately you are being asked to plan for the future, a future which will enhance shareholder value. Remember you define (and justify) what you mean by shareholder wealth. Having done so, you will need to identify and set out appropriate objectives to aim for and to be measured. This should involve identifying a range of KPIs for such holistic measurement.  You may wish – not unreasonably – to use your workplace’s current financial position and its strategy(ies) as your departure point. Or you may need to project the first year’s financial status for your NBV and build upon that.  The research you carry out could well be based upon primary and/or secondary research (as covered in the first 11 weeks of the module) where appropriate. Finding out about the business landscape/industry that your NBV/your workplace scenario is based within is a first step. The strategies you will wish to try out will depend upon your independent research.  The skeleton tool can help you generate forecast results for the alternative scenarios and strategies you decide to explore be they, for example, exploring a new international market or extending an existing product line or introducing a new product line. You should select the scenario and strategy you feel most appropriate for the business. You should then ‘officially’ recommend and endorse it, and in so doing provide justification, citing ‘evidence’ where necessary. This is much like the rationales you and your team were providing as support for the choices you were making for each round in Icarus – but with further development.  The skeleton tool is there for you to use, adapting it as you see fit. You will definitely need to make adjustments to the tool but it is just to help you plan. Remember, the main output for this assessment is the report – the skeleton tool should be viewed as part of the process you use to arrive at the report you submit. Unlike Icarus, you do not have the luxury of ‘rolling the world forward’ but nonetheless, the mindset Icarus should have put you in will help think about the issues you will need to address for this Page 7 of 12 assignment.  Try not to spend all of your time playing with any skeleton tool ‐ your justifications must come from your research into the environment, target markets and possibly even primary research to back up your assertions. This helps inform the numbers you pump into the tool!  The skeleton tool is not a perfect one – indeed, a ‘perfect’ one probably does not exist! You will need to tweak it yourself if you find any issues and/or if you change anything yourself. But it is a general one to help kick-start your thought process and to help provide some inspiration for you. Remember, you do not have to use this tool, you can create/adapt one of your own.  At the end of the day, if this was your business… What would you do? and will someone objective reading your plan for the first time understand what you are trying to achieve, why and how?  If someone were to pick up your report and read the conclusion first, then the main body and then the introduction, would it all tie together? There should be a thread/narrative throughout that allows the reader to be able to go back, go forward and come back again and still allow good linkages. Does it ‘hang together’? A note about structuring the report There is no one set way to structure your report for this assessment. There is room for individuality and creativity but with a goal of providing an easy to follow, clear and wellevidenced report. Below are some areas/headings that you may wish to utilise to help structure your report or to help ensure you cover key areas. But, again, this is not set in stone and can be adapted as you see fit.  Introduction  Background Industry/market analysis using relevant frameworks tools  Any key primary research (if applicable) conducted with results, particularly in the context of identifying and exploring strategic alternatives/opportunities.  Identification of overall objectives; relevant KPI selection and justification; selection and justification of key strategies  Financial plans/projections  Risk assessments  Recommendations and conclusion  Full consistent reference list using accepted referencing style e.g. Harvard. END OF SECTION 1 Page 8 of 12 Section 2 (10% weighting of this assignment) This should be submitted as a separate document and uploaded to the Project Turnitin submission link for this project via the designated relevant tab (section 2). Your Individual Reflective piece This relates to one main area: the Icarus activity. The total word count for Section 2 is 1,000 – 1,500 words maximum. Penalties apply for exceeding the word count. No formal penalties apply for using fewer than 1,000 words but in so doing you may be penalizing yourself as it is likely to be challenging to respond to the requirement in less than 1,000 words. When combined with Section 1 the total word count should not exceed 6,000 words. State an accurate word count at the end of this Section or state it on the front title page. Failure to do state the word count for each Section in your submission will result in a 5 mark penalty. Context and Requirement Context “We do not learn so much from experience as we do from reflecting on our experience.” – John Dewey John Dewey (1859-1952) is considered by some to be one of the most influential thinkers about the philosophy of education in the twentieth century. His writings in Dewey, J. (1933) How We Think. A restatement of the relation of reflective thinking to the educative process (Revised edn.), Boston: D.C. have inspired many of those involved in the education process – educators and students. His ideas are located in more recent, populist writings, illustratively: Harry stared at the stone basin. The contents had returned to their original, silvery white state, swirling and rippling beneath his gaze. “ What is it?” Harry asked shakily. “This? It is called a Pensieve,” said Dumbledore. “ I sometimes find, and I am sure you know the feeling, that I simply have too many thoughts and memories crammed into my mind.” “Err,” said Harry who couldn’t truthfully say that he had ever felt anything of the sort. “At these times” said Dumbledore, indicating the stone basin, “ I use the Penseive. One simply siphons the excess thoughts from one’s mind, pours them into a basin, and examines them at one’s leisure. It becomes easier to spot patterns and links, you understand, when they are in this form.’ Excerpt from Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, by J. K. Rowling (Rowling, J.K., (2000) Harry Potter and the goblet of fire. London, Bloomsbury Publishing.) Page 9 of 12 Reflection is important within educational experiences. A reflective statement is a statement that captures thoughts about, perceptions of, a past experience, such as that you have experienced in your study of this module. They help us to understand past events and associated experiences and to learn lessons. Having written a reflective statement, it is then possible to analyse it and draw lessons about future decisions, behaviour and actions. Such a statement can focus on the consequences of the educational experience for work-related decisions, behaviour and actions, not least in the arena of confirming or amending professional work practices. With this in mind, look back over your Icarus rationale and minutes of meetings submissions and any other correspondence you held with your team mates over the Icarus period (between weeks 12 to 18). If you have been keeping an ‘off-line’ diary during the activity as suggested, you should also refer to this as it will certainly help you identify the experience ‘raw’ at the time in preparation for analyses. Take time to think about what you have learnt from the various interactions, research tasks, performance analyses, and teamwork etc. that took place during each of the five rounds of play. You should have already captured some of this during the activity. Now, you should be seeking to articulate your experience, feelings and evaluation of the activity in terms of any personal and professional impact upon you. Note that if you did not participate in Icarus, then you will be unable to reflect and therefore forgo the marks available for this section. Required:

Using Gibbs’ Reflective Cycle (see Appendix A of this document) or an appropriate alternative reflection framework, provide a reflective account of your Icarus activity and its impact upon your personal and professional development now and in your future. In addressing this task you should ensure that you do not just describe each round of the Icarus activity but rather reflect upon the learning experience through evaluation, analysis, conclusions and ultimately provide your future plans for enhancing your professional practice. Overall, the reader is seeking to be provided with a written account that captures your critical thought process of reflection. Accordingly, the marking criteria for Section 2 will consider overall cohesion but with particular emphasis on the quality of your evaluation, analysis, conclusions and action plans. Please note that if you use an alternative reflective framework you should state what it is and cite its author. The marking criteria will still be seeking evaluation, analysis, conclusions and action plans (on a scale of up to 10). In responding to this requirement you should, clearly, certainly refer to relevant MScPAcc materials as appropriate. You are encouraged to also draw upon other materials, as appropriate, from other sources. Ensure that your response is not just descriptive but also reflects analysis, evaluation, conclusions, and plans. There are a number of sources freely available concerning the art and science of reflection. Feel free to draw upon such sources. Alternatively you may wish to read Appendix A of this document. Page 10 of 12 Appendix A Reflections guide To help you frame your thinking around being ‘reflective’ one particular model that may be of use is Gibbs’ Reflective Cycle or Model of Reflection (1988). This is depicted on the right and contains six categories. You can use these six categories as a departure point as you embark on thinking and writing reflectively for each round of Icarus and indeed, for the final project when the time comes: Description  What happened during the round? Who was involved/not involved?  What was the actual process that was applied as you embarked upon the activity?  What were the aims of the round and of your team within Icarus compared to your own aims?  Relay the account to the reader but do not spend too much of your word count on providing an account that is just simply descriptive. Feelings  What did you feel? How did you react or respond?  Why did you respond in such a way? Did your feelings affect your actions?  Identify and examine your reactions, feelings and thoughts at the time.  It is important to be honest. Evaluation  Look at the judgements and choices you made at the time about how things were going.  What was positive? Negative? What made you think this?  Try to stand back from the event/round/experience and be objective in your evaluations.  What made you think something was good or bad?  Examine your own judgements and what contributed to them. How do you feel about them now? Page 11 of 12 Analysis  Examine the experience/event/round in depth and identify an overarching key aspect of the experience/event/round that affected it greatly and as such needs addressing next time. For example, an aspect of communication or time management or organisation or commitment that might have played a central part in the outcome.  How was it flawed this time? In what way? Why? How should it have worked in this situation?  What ideas or theories are you aware of which look at this? Does theory about this aspect help you make more sense of what happened?  Could you use theory to improve this aspect in the future? In this section, you need to fully examine and make sense of factors affecting the situation, and exploring ways to change and develop these. Conclusion  What have you learned from each experience/event/round?  What would you change for next time?  Would such a change be possible?  You should also identify what to improve. These may be specific skills, or identifying new knowledge. Action plan  What could you do differently next time and how could you prepare for this?  What areas need developing or planning for? What resources do you need, and where would they be found?  What steps will be taken first? Do remember that your reflections on an event/experience/round can change over time as you reflect more and acquire more knowledge. Refine your reflections, perhaps by writing a longer, more descriptive account but focusing on key events/moments. Reflective writing is useful as a positive method to help identify and develop yourself and your skills. Often, we do not get a chance to do this. Reference Gibbs, G (1988). Learning by doing: a guide to teaching and learning methods. Oxford: Further Education Unit, Oxford Polytechnic

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adhdbuzz · 4 years ago

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(Quick note - I have copied this over from my main blog - this is my content...)

ADHD, Neurodivergence, Identity…

I want to start blogging about some of my experiences with mental illness and neurodivergence. Two words, that before this year, I would never of used in relation to myself.

One of the most fascinating and somewhat crippling aspects of learning you are neurodivergent, is becoming so hyperaware of your thoughts, actions, personality, wondering what’s you and what’s your diagnosis, (or what you are imagining/projecting because of your diagnosis). I likely drive my friends mad talking or joking about it, but it’s hard to articulate the complete upheaval that learning this about yourself creates. Suddenly your entire history and personhood is re-defined. You have to change your narrative. I spent most of my teenagehood and childhood feeling removed/estranged from the people and world around me. More than feeling an ‘outcast,’ I felt myself an alien. I believed (and felt that others believed), that I was incredibly lazy and did not have the drive to puruse my passions and potential. This left such a hole in my heart and self-confidence. Imagine that you have this great love for something - or many things, but can’t even motivate yourself to take one single step toward it. You lose interest in every hobby you’ve ever taken up and you don’t understand why you can’t just do the thing. It seems easy for everyone else? What am I missing? So you compensate. Suddenly (and very briefly), you are really into note-taking and study blogs and watching countless hours of videos on how to get organised and ‘change your life’ and you imagine what kind of person you could become. Or you start every new year or semester with the goal to just stay on top of things, just remember, just write it down - everyone else does it? Why can’t you? Inevitably, that falls away.

What happens when you can’t maintain this? When suddenly those three assignments are due, you’ve dropped out of your class/hobby, you’ve missed another opportunity, avoided another goal and heard another person tell you, ‘you just need to get organised…’ ‘ you’ve got so much potential, you just need to apply yourself!’ “I don’t understand how you forgot/didn’t do the thing/didn’t write it down!”

I don’t think I can ever effectively describe the impact that this has had on me. There is something so devastating in not understanding there is something different about your brain during the really sensitive, formative years of your life. Because you end up spending so much time trying to work out why you are not like everyone else, why you struggle with things that most people find easy, why it is a constant battle to stay afloat, to have people angry with you/criticising you for something that you both feel should be in your control, but neurologically isn’t.

ADHD is so severly misunderstood. It’s invisible and it is crippling. The image of the little boy in class who can’t sit still or stop talking is such a prevalent and damaging stereotype. Before I got my diagnosis and before I even had looked into ADHD, I spent hours researching what could be wrong with me and doing online ‘tests’. These ranged from anxiety, to depression, Bipolar, PMDD and Personality Disorders, (strangely enough, ADHD often exists alongside other mental illnesses and I was diagnosed with co-morbidities…) But I think this gives a degree of context to what undiagnosed ADHD feels like, because it’s not someone who wont shut up, or sit still. To me it feels like everyone else got a manual on how to be a person and I didn’t. Often times, it’s the depressed, anxious, struggling teenager or young adult, who feels so inadequate, who feels like an alien, who can’t even trust their own passions or interests. Who is in a constant battle to meet the expectations of themselves and those around them. Who’s socially awkward or uncomfortable, who’s disocciated, who can’t follow a conversation, or instructions, who suffers in loud spaces, who struggles with small talk, strangers, shopping centres, keeping themselves and their space clean, uni work, school work, chores, family, friendships, relationships, their identity, their passions, there interests, their personality, regualating their emotions

ADHD is so exhausting, because it’s a constant battle to just meet the base line. Every thing you do from the moment you get up, til the moment you are asleep (and even then) is impacted by it.

Say you have an assignment, and a couple of chores to do on one day. Not a big deal right? Ok so you set an alarm for 8am, except your brain didn’t turn off until 4am the night before, so you get up at mid day, you go to put the washing in, but you forgot to turn on yesterdays load, so you do that first, you go to make a morning coffee, you check the time, it’s 12.30 - where did half an hour go? I just got up?! (Time-blindness). You make your coffee and drink it while checking social media, which sucks you in, because your dopamine depleted brain craves stimuli! You check the time, its 1pm, you tell yourself you’ll scroll for ten more minutes, and that ten minute excuse repeats a few times. It’s 1.30 and now your angry, because why didn’t you have the self control! (Hint: you have a disordered executive function). You put your mug on the sink, promising you’ll come back to it later. You go back to the laundry, you realise you forgot to turn the dryer on. You go to do your assignment, you clear your desk, open laptop, but now you don’t know where to start - you can’t naturally prioritise tasks, or break down the individual steps that need to be done in order to complete an assignment, you must do this with the ‘skills’ you have actively had to learn from a coach, internet etc. It’s like trying to bake a cake with no measuring cups, or recipe! So now you are looking at the assessment outline, and what you’ve worked on already, and trying to close last nights 200 tabs of hyperfixation. You read the outline 5 times without actually reading it, on the 6th you try really hard, you’re fidgeting in your chair, it’s an almost physical pain having to sit there and read it. Your eyes feel glazy, there’s too many words and they look like a big smudge on the page. You quickly check messages (dopamine hit), you come back to the outline. Its been half an hour, you still haven’t started. It’s about 2pm, you havent had lunch or breakfast. You go make a tea and come back. Maybe you need backround music? You spend another 20 minutes finding the right playlist, except its not right because it’s either too stimulating or not stimulating enough. You find another playlist, or you go down the rabbit whole of some movie soundtrack you’ve been meaning to look at. It’s 2.45. The washing! You go back and finally get yesterdays load in the dryer and start the load you meant to do today. Might as well make another tea now that I’m up. Might as well check Facebook now I’ve been interrupted. I’ll start at 3.30. 3.30 rolls around, your sibling gets home from school. Noise, talking, lunchbox rattling, bags being unpacked. Distraction. The noise is painful, your executive function (the impaired part of the ADHD brain) is also responsible for emotional regulation. Suddenly you are so fiercly angry at the noise being made in the rest of the house. It’s so over stimulating it feels like sandpaper on your brain and ears, you feel sick to your stomach with rage, you are crying, sobbing. All because people in the other room are talking. You lay on your bed trying to calm the overwhelm and increasing stress at not having done your assignment. It’s 4pm. Mum asks why you left your mug out, or didn’t do the dishes (you were too busy thinking about doing the washing!) She notes the machine still going and tells you that you wont have time to put it in the dryer tonight, you’ll have to do it tomorrow. But you need those clothes for tomorrow, you’re having breakfast with a friend. You’ll have to reschedule. You message your friend, and repeat the standard script “god I am so sorry, I’m such a mess, can we do later in the morning? I’ve got to do chores…” they can’t reschedule, you cancel. You sit back down with the assignment. You fidget. It feels like a physical pain to have to sit there and force yourself to do it. You’ll do it tomorrow. You pack up, and get ready for bed, removing the pile on your bed back to your desk. Your sheets are unmade, it’s uncomfortable and you feel agitated. You’ve forgotten to brush your teeth, or clean your face. You scroll online, or hyperfocus on a new hobby, project, idea, that wont interest you tomorrow, until 3am. You set your alarm for 8am…

This is just one small example and snapshot of ADHD and the impact of Executive Dysfunction. Here are a couple of examples/descriptions of how it feels from the ADHD subreddit.

“Schrodinger’s ADHD: Everything is interesting and boring at the same time. Every subject, every hobby.”

‘The Two ADHD Moods: I can’t do it / I can’t stop doing it. The two types of ADHD time: Now / Not Now The two ADHD memory modes: I literally can not recall the words that just came out of my mouth / I can recite the opening paragraph of every single magic tree house book.’

I also want to talk Neurodivergence, as this is another misconception when it comes to ADHD. In the way that Autism, Tourettes, Dyscalculia, Dysgraphia are all forms of neurodivergence, so is ADHD. ADHD is not a behavoural issue, but a neurobiological developmental disorder. ADHD also has many overlapping traits with Autism, (not to be confused as the same, ADHD is not on the spectrum). These include, sensory overwhelm/sensitivity, memory issues, hyperfocus/hyperfixation, interrupting conversation/trouble waiting in turn, issues reading/recognising social cues, stimming, perseveration, (getting ‘stuck’ on or repeating a thought, topic or idea, even if the conversation has moved on), and avoidance/trouble with eye contact.

To be clear, ADHD is not on the spectrum, a distinguishing feature between these neurotypes is the cause of the symptom. For example someone with ADHD may not recognise social cues due to inattention/overwhelm/impulsivity, where as someone with autism may struggle to interpret these social cues.

It is important for ADHD to be recognised as a neurotype, and not a behavoural issue. When discussing ADHD traits with a neurotypical person, the response is often along the lines of ‘well everyone is a little distracted/unmotivated/lazy/forgetful/late sometimes.’ My response to that ‘Would you say that everyone is a bit ‘socially awkward/shy’ sometimes to an autistic person? Or ‘everyone has trouble reading sometimes’ to a dyslexic person?’ I imagine the answer would be no, as it is understood that these traits are a consistent, uncontrollable and debilitating.

The more I have learnt and read about ADHD in the context of neurodivergence, the more I have tried to recognise the ways I hide or detract from my symptoms, by ‘masking’. This has included, taking on certain personas or feeding someone elses assumption about me as ‘the messy one,’ ‘the disorganised one,’ ‘the chaotic one.’ In the past I have almost embraced these stereotypes about myself, as it gave me a sense of identity, a framework with which to see and understand myself. Frustration and anger masked over-stimulation/overwhelm, I was not able to recognise the root of these feelings and I also learnt to fidget/stim in the ‘right’ way. When engaging in small talk with someone I am unfamiliar with, I often resort to mimicing or imitating how I have seen other people interact, speak etc and I am conscious of eye contact, (too much, too little?). I catch myself looking at people/staring too much and am constantly trying to gauge what the right amount is, where else to look, etc. I struggle a lot with taking turns in convesation, as I don’t always know where to interject, or I worry I will forget the thought, this has led me to just stay silent instead in conversations and present myself as serious, or elusive.

That’s really all I have to say for today. I think overall ADHD is far more complex and challenging than it is perceived to be, and these stereotypes are so harmful to people who have it and are trying to navigate not only their symptoms, but a world that is not understanding nor knowledgeable of the limitations and struggles of ADHD or neurodivergence.

I have a lot more to say on all this and will try and write more about this going forward. DM/comment etc if you have any thoughts or criticism of anything I have said. Disclaimer, I am still learning and may make mistakes regarding information, or discussing other neurotypes !

Here are some links you might want to check out if you have/think you have ADHD or you have a friend or family member with ADHD. I also highly, highly recommend the ADHD subreddit!

ADHD explained simply:

https://www.additudemag.com/what-is-adhd-symptoms-causes-treatments/

“ADHD is a developmental impairment of the brain’s executive functions. People with ADHD have trouble with impulse-control, focusing, and organization.

“’Attention deficit’ is, some experts assert, a misleading name. “Attention deregulation” might be a more accurate description since most people with ADHD have more than enough attention — they just can’t harness it in the right direction at the right time with any consistency.”

Comorbidities https://adhd-institute.com/burden-of-adhd/epidemiology/comorbidities/ “The majority of adults with ADHD have a diagnosed or undiagnosed comorbid psychiatric disorder, which can complicate diagnosis and treatment of ADHD.1-3“ ADHD and Autism https://www.spectrumnews.org/features/deep-dive/decoding-overlap-autism-adhd/ “A growing number of genetic studies support the notion of at least some shared causation between autism and ADHD. But imaging studies comparing brain structures and connectivity have yielded a confusing mix of similarities and differences. And some behavioral research has highlighted the possibility that outwardly similar features mask distinct underlying mechanisms. Inattention in a person with autism, for example, might result from sensory overload, and apparent social problems in someone with ADHD may reflect impulsivity. Perseveration https://www.understood.org/en/friends-feelings/common-challenges/self-control/perseveration-adhd-and-learning-differences

“(Kids) who perseverate often say the same thing or behave in the same way over and over again. And they do it past the point where it makes sense or will change anything. It’s like they’re stuck in a loop that they can’t get out of.”

ADHD and social skills https://chadd.org/for-adults/relationships-social-skills/#:~:text=Social%20Skills%20in%20Adults%20with,their%20inattention%2C%20impulsivity%20and%20hyperactivity.

“Social skills are generally acquired through incidental learning: watching people, copying the behavior of others, practicing, and getting feedback. Most people start this process during early childhood. Social skills are practiced and honed by “playing grown-up” and through other childhood activities. The finer points of social interactions are sharpened by observation and peer feedback.

Children with ADHD often miss these details. They may pick up bits and pieces of what is appropriate but lack an overall view of social expectations. Unfortunately, as adults, they often realize “something” is missing but are never quite sure what that “something” may be.”

ADHD and stimming https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/adhd/repetitive-behaviors-in-children-with-adhd-stimming-fidgeting-and-what-these-actions-may-mean/

“Many believe that stimming and fidgeting is reserved for those on the autism spectrum. However, it is now known that children with ADHD are just as likely to use repetitive body movements to self-stimulate. In fact, autistic stimming and non-autistic stimming are different. The main difference is that those with ADHD typically only use stimming for a short period of time while they are trying to concentrate. For example, someone with ADHD may stim for under an hour while those with autism will stim for several hours at a time. While stimming and fidgeting are typically seen as tapping or rocking, there are many other things that children with ADHD do to self-stimulate. There are actually five different variations of stimming, which include olfactory, vestibular, visual, tactile, and auditory.”

#adhd #neurodivergent #neurodiversity

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davidrusselblr · 5 years ago

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ljones41 · 7 years ago

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"SPIDER-MAN: HOMECOMING" (2017) Review

"SPIDER-MAN: HOMECOMING" (2017) Review The Marvel Cinematic Universe (MCU) released its second film for the 2017 Summer season - "SPIDER-MAN: HOMECOMING". Although this film marked the first time a solo Spider-man film within the MCU franhise, it marked the second appearance of the Peter Parker/Spider-Man in a MCU film. The character made its first appearance in 2016's "CAPTAIN AMERICA: CIVIL WAR". In an odd way, this film could be seen as a sequel to the 2016 movie.

Before the 2016 movie, the character of Peter Parker aka Spider-Man had been featured in five films released through Columbia (later Sony) Pictures - three of them directed by Sam Rami between 2002-2007 and two of them directed by Marc Webb between 2012-2014. Instead of allowing Webb to round out his own trilogy, Sony Pictures made a deal with Disney and Marvel Films to allow the Spider-Man character to appear in the Marvel Cinematic Universe (MCU), while Sony retained final creative control over over any of the character's solo films and appearances in other MCU movies. In the end, both Sony and Disney hired British actor Tom Holland to be the new Peter Parker aka Spider-Man. The character made his first MCU appearance in the second half of "CAPTAIN AMERICA: CIVIL WAR" when he was recruited by Tony Stark aka Iron Man to help track down and arrest Steve Rogers aka Captain America and other rogue Avengers who had refused to sign the Sokovia Accords in Berlin, Germany. However, the first ten to fifteen minutes of "SPIDER-MAN: HOMECOMING" began in the past . . . a few days following the Battle of New York in 2012's "THE AVENGERS". Adrian Toomes, the owner of a salvage company, has been contracted by the city government to clean up the mess from the Chitauri invasion. However, their operation is taken over by the Department of Damage Control (D.O.D.C.), a partnership between Tony and the U.S. government. Angered at being driven out of business, Toomes and his employees decide to keep the Chitauri technology they have already scavenged and use it to create and sell advanced weapons. After Peter participates in the Avenges' battle at the Berlin airport, he returns to New York and resumes his studies at the Midtown School of Science and Technology. Tony informs Peter that he is not ready to become an Avenger, yet allows the web slinger to keep an A.I. Spider-Man suit that he had created. A few months later, Peter quits his school's academic decathlon team in order to spend more time focusing on his crime-fighting activities as Spider-Man. The latter also becomes aware of Spider-Man and utilizes a suit with mechanical wings forged from Chitauri technology to become the criminal known as "Vulture". However, his operation attracts the attention of Spider-Man, when the latter prevents a criminals from robbing an ATM with his advanced weapons. "SPIDER-MAN: HOMECOMING" became the second highest-grossing film of the Summer of 2017, following "GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY, VOL. 2" . . . so far. To be honest, I had expected it to become the highest grossing summer film of the year and a lot sooner. Nor did I expect it to become the second-highest grossing film within a span of two months. That seemed a bit long to me for a movie with such high expectations. A part of me cannot help but wonder why it took so long for "HOMECOMING" to achieve this position in the first place. I thought "SPIDER-MAN: HOMECOMING" was one of the more down-to-earth MCU films I have seen since 2015's "ANT-MAN". But the latter had the distinction of being something rare in a comic book film genre . . . a heist film. "SPIDER-MAN: HOMECOMING" proved to be a more conventional film in which the protagonist takes on a group of local arms dealers, selling their wares to local criminals. Like I said . . . down to earth. The movie also did a solid job in portraying Peter's development as a costumed hero. I say solid, because audiences were first introduced to the MCU's Spider-Man a few months after he had acquired his powers and become a vigilante. So, movie audiences never really saw how this Peter Parker became Spider-Man. But if I must be honest, I did not regard this as a major problem. Somewhat. The movie also did a pretty good job in conveying how Peter's Spider-Man activities interfered with his private life. The movie also featured what I believed were a few memorable scenes - both dramatic and action. I enjoyed the sequence in which Spider-Man was forced to rescue his classmates from an elevator mishap inside the Washington Monument. Well, most of the sequence. I had one complaint about it, which I will point out later. The ferryboat sequence that featured Spider-Man's attempt to arrest the Vulture provided a good number of tension and great cinematography. The movie's ending proved to be very memorable to me. In this final scene, May Parker, Peter's aunt, walked into his bedroom and found him changing out of his Spider-Man costume. Her reaction to this revelation proved to be the funniest and most original scene in the entire movie. But my favorite moment proved to be when Adrian Toomes discovered Peter's identity as Spider-Man. It happened, in all places, inside Toomes' car as he drove his daughter Liz Allan and Peter to their school's Homecoming dance. From the moment that Liz Allan unintentionally revealed Peter's constant absences, Toomes knew that Peter was the costumed vigilante who had been causing trouble for him and his men. "SPIDER-MAN: HOMECOMING" also benefited from a first-rate cast. Tom Holland became the fourth actor I have seen portray Spider-Man . . . and the third to do so on the silver screen. He is probably the youngest to portray the role. Many critics and moviegoers regarded his age as the reason why he might be the best Peter Parker/Spider-Man. I cannot say that I agree with assessment. Mind you, he did a great job in the role. But if I must be honest, I was equally impressed with Tobey Maguire and Andrew Garfield's interpretations. Another first-rate performance came from Michael Keaton, who portrayed the movie's main antagonist, Adrian Toomes aka the Vulture. In fact, the Toomes character, along with Keaton's portrayal; seemed indicative of the film's down-to-earth style. I do not regard Adrian Toomes as one of the best villains that have appeared in the MCU franchise. But . . . I must admit that Keaton gave one of the best performances I have seen within the franchise for a while. Thanks to his skillful and subtle performance, Keaton elevated a character that otherwise did not strike me as particularly interesting. There were a few other performances that I also found enjoyable. One of them came from Marisa Tomei, who portrayed Peter's widowed aunt and sole guardian, May Parker. And thanks to Tomei's skills as a comedic actress, she provided one of the most memorable endings in a MCU film. Jon Favreau continued his portrayal of Tony Stark's right-hand man, Harold "Happy" Hogan. I thought he did an excellent job of portraying Happy's never-ending disregard for any of Tony's fellow costumed vigilantes. Tony Revolori gave a rather entertaining performance as Peter's high school tormentor, Flash Thompson. What I found interesting about Revolori's performance is that unlike the previous versions of this character, his Flash utilize more subtle methods of bullying Peter, due to being the self-indulged man of a wealthy man. The movie also featured solid performances from Laura Harrier, Zendaya, Bokeem Woodbine, Michael Chernus, Jacob Batalon, Hannibal Buress, Logan Marshall-Greene, Garcelle Beauvais, Tyne Daly, Kenneth Choi; along with Robert Downey Jr. and Gwyneth Paltrow as Tony Stark and Pepper Potts. However, "SPIDER-MAN: HOMECOMING" has its flaws. Unfortunately, I feel that it has more flaws than virtues. I have so many problems with this film that I believe it would take a separate essay to discuss all of them. The best I can do is mention those I can remember at the moment - like the Marvel Cinematic Universe timeline. What in the hell happened? Talk about a massive screw up. In "CAPTAIN AMERICA: CIVIL WAR", Vision had pointed out that Tony Stark had revealed himself to the world as Iron Man eight years earlier. This movie began a few days after the events of "THE AVENGERS". Then the movie jumped eight years to its main narrative, beginning with Spider-Man's experiences with the Berlin Airport fight in "CIVIL WAR". Following that event, the movie jumped a few months later. Does this mean that both "IRON MAN" and "THE AVENGERS" were set during the same year? The entire Phase One of the MCU - aside from most of "CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE FIRST AVENGER"? I doubt it very much, considering that according to Nick Fury, the events of "IRON MAN 2", "THOR" and "THE INCREDIBLE HULK" had occurred at least a year before "THE AVENGERS". It is all so fucking confusing that I do not want to discuss this any further. Another problem I had with "SPIDER-MAN: HOMECOMING" was the presence of Tony Stark in the film and that damn Artificial Intelligence Spider-Man suit he had created for Peter. I realize that Iron Man was the Marvel character that had kick-started the MCU, but . . . c'mon! It was bad enough that the character had nearly hijacked a Captain America film. Now we had to see Robert Downey Jr.'s mug in this film? And he has proven to be one of the worst mentors I have seen on-screen. Tony's idea of being a mentor was to plant a tracking device in Peter's new Spider-Man suit and order Happy to keep tabs on the kid. You know, long distance mentoring? What the damn hell? It was bad enough that he had dragged Peter all the way to Germany (and without May's knowledge) to help him battle the rogue Avengers. Then upon their return to New York, he advises Peter to stick with capturing local criminals. And then he leaves New York to monitor Peter from a distance. What the hell? I hate to say this, but the actor has really outstayed his welcome in the MCU . . . at least as far as I am concerned. Speaking of Tony Stark, the movie revealed that he had resumed his romance with his former Girl Friday, Pepper Potts. In fact, they had become engaged. Only this revelation was made near the end of the film . . . in a quickie scene that served as comic relief. Great! Between "CAPTAIN AMERICA: CIVIL WAR" and this film, Marvel revealed how incompetent it has become in portraying on-screen romances - even between established couples. Audiences were told in "CIVIL WAR" that Tony and Pepper had broken up. And we were told in a brief scene in this film that they had not only reconciled, but had also become engaged. The MCU's screenwriters utilized the old "tell but not show" adage in the franchise's portrayal of the Tony/Pepper romance. How sloppy. I never thought I would say this, but I was not that particularly thrilled by the presence of Captain America in this film. Why? Because he was featured in a series of taped Public Service Announcement (P.S.A.) video clips shown to the students at Midtown High. Normally, I would not have a problem with this. And even the final P.S.A. shown in a post-credit scene struck me as rather humorous. But . . . Steve Rogers aka Captain America had been a fugitive for a few months. Why would any school show a P.S.A. featuring a wanted fugitive? The New York City School District had a few months to tape a new P.S.A. Or . . . I could have simply done without this little and unnecessary addition to the film in the first place. I thought it was a waste of my time. As for the A.I. suit, I hated it. I really hated that damn suit. I hated it. It merely robbed Peter from most of the abilities and nuance that made him Spider-Man - especially his spider senses. Worse, it kept interfering with Peter's vigilante activities. When Spider-Man finally defeated the Vulture without the use of that damn suit, I sighed with relief. Unfortunately . . . the movie ended with Tony giving back that suit to him. Ugh! Tobey Maguire, Andrew Garfield and the comic book versions of the character managed to survive and develop without Stark's tech additions. But apparently, Tom Holland's Spider-Man cannot. Why? Because he is now a part of the Marvel Cinematic Universe. UGH! When I heard that actress/singer Zendaya had been cast as one of Peter's classmates - M.J., I cheered. She would be a new kind of Mary Jane Watson. Only, I had no idea how different Zendaya's M.J. would prove to be. One, her initials did not stand for Mary Jane. They stood for Michelle Jones. They changed the name, but kept the initials? What the fuck for? And like Peter, she proved to be a science-oriented student. Apparently, Marvel felt that the only kind of love interest - present or future - worthy of someone like Peter Parker, is one who is science-oriented like him. Which is why both Liz Allan and M.J. are science-oriented. Worse, the screenwriter completely changed her personality. This M.J. is an introverted and sardonic person in compare to the more extroverted M.J. from the comics. A romance between the introverted Peter and the introverted M.J.? Sounds like a great snooze fest. Come to think of it, the relationship between Peter and Liz Allan struck me as equally dull. I hate to say this but Tom Holland and Laura Harrier lacked screen chemistry. Honestly, she seemed a bit too much for the likes of him . . . on-screen and off. Speaking of introverts, I found the movie's portrayal of Peter Parker rather confusing. Peter has always been an introvert - even before he became Spider-Man. Only when wearing the Spider-Man suit did he display an extroverted persona. Well, Holland's Spider-Man was extroverted. I had no problems with that. I had a problem with his Peter Parker persona. The only times Holland's Peter displayed any signs of an introverted nature was when he had to deal with classmates like the bullying Flash Thompson. Otherwise, his Peter was unusually extroverted. And he never had to pay the consequences for his activities as Spider-Man. Not really. I thought it would have been more dramatic if his academic decathlon team had suffered a loss at their competition in Washington D.C. because he was busy being Spider-Man. Only they did not. And the story lost an excuse for Peter to suffer any consequences for being Spider-Man. Also, near the end of the film, Tony offered him a position as a member of the Avengers. He brought Peter all the way to the Avengers facility in upstate New York and had a room waiting for the 15 year-old. Gee! All of this . . . without May's permission? After all, Peter was underage. Was Tony really planning to let Peter drop out of school and leave Queens in order to join the Avengers . . . without May's permission and knowledge? After the shit he had pulled with dragging Peter to Germany in "CIVIL WAR", I guess so. What the hell Marvel? I realized that director Jon Watts and the five screenwriters who had co-written the screenplay with him thought they were being clever by not starting the movie with Peter's origin story. In a way, how could they? Especially since Peter had been Spider-Man for several months before the events of "CIVIL WAR". But dammit! Watts and the other writers could have utilized a flashback or two to reveal the events of that momentous occasion. More importantly, the movie's screenplay could have mentioned Ben Parker's name and how he had died. They did not even bother to do that. Instead, Peter merely mentioned to his friend Ned that his aunt May had managed to recover from a traumatic event. Peter's uncle went from "Uncle Ben Parker" to "a traumatic event". Gee. How nice. I also had a problem with Adrian Toomes aka the Vulture. As I had stated earlier, I really enjoyed Michael Keaton's portrayal of the character, despite the latter being an underwhelming villain. But I had a problem with the villain's actions and goals. Let me get this straight. He was about to lose his business, because he lost the contract with the city to clean up the mess from the Chitauri invasion? Really? You mean to say that Toomes' salvaging company lacked any business before the events of "THE AVENGERS"? And how did the D.O.D.C. failed to confiscate the Chitauri technology that Toomes had already collected before losing his contract? When the Chitauri tech threatened to run out two-thirds into the film, Toomes' company was in danger . . . again? This guy could not operate a salvage company without depending upon alien technology? And could someone explain why Marvel had decided to make Liz Allan and the Vulture daughter and father? Yes, both characters are a part of the Spider-Man mythos. But they had nothing to do with each other. And in this film, both had different surnames. What was the point in making Liz the daughter of the Vulture? I do not know what else to say about "SPIDER-MAN: HOMECOMING". Well, despite some first-rate acting from the likes of Tom Holland and Michael Keaton and a few solid action and dramatic sequences directed by Jon Watts, I guess so. Unfortunately, the movie's virtues seemed to be rather few. And if I must be honest, Watts' direction struck me as okay, but not really that impressive, considering that I was only impressed by a few scenes. But there were too many aspects in this film that either rubbed me the wrong way or seemed badly written to me. In the end, I found "SPIDER-MAN: HOMECOMING" rather disappointing. It is probably my least favorite Spider-Man film.

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gloriascott93 · 8 years ago

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Contradictions in the creator quotes

I now stand firmly corrected in my misassumption that the big reveal would mean we would revisit the entire show in light of the ending and see an intricate plan. An emotional context we the audience were meant to miss. I was right. As were others. Problem was, it was a sister all along. Unfortunately the sister rugpull rather than a romance rug pull is the less convincing story arc. What we got instead was a finale that makes in retrospect much of what preceded it seem nonsensical at surface level if we accept the finale as the “solution” or the definitive story. How did we get that wrong? I was never a conspiracy fan. It relied on too much “it can only mean one thing” from mountains of data. When the narrative and the claims of creators lying as a benevolent secret keeping was all that was necessary to see a romantic endgame. I opted always for a simple solution. The simplest most probable answer. And that was heavily reliant on my trust in Mofftiss as good storytellers and good show runners. That was for me my biggest error.

If this was not “gay” but “trash”, how did it to get to be *this* trash? How is it we were so wrong in predicting the endgame across various different theory camps of this fandom? What weaknesses on their part were we overlooking? Or not privy to? Or ignoring. Or not adequately assessing - so that coincidences were ironically a sign of laziness, or clever writing instead turns out to be poor writing - a series of tricks rather than a plan?

Because the end result is simultaneously infuriating and “Meh.” Two things that should not comfortably go together. A rug pull should leave you so impressed you don’t mind being infuriated. You applaud and shout, “oh you tricked me! Well done! How DID you do it?!” And yet, here we are.

Some fans are deciding to keep the faith - hoping for a final rug pull that will show they really were as good as we believed. I’m not there. I am opting to make a deduction and coming to a probable conclusion based on the data we have. No conspiracy. No cruel intentions. Just a series of unfortunate events.

For as much as I am loathe to say this, I think from an executive production point of view, the absence of someone like Steven Thompson means the absence of a critical third voice. I don’t know why he left but he should have been replaced by *someone*. Mofftiss were clearly given far too much credit and license. Where was the necessary script editing to rein in their now glaringly patent self indulgent natures? Keeping secrets to the degree they have, and being allowed to, has been proven a big executive error. Because no one was able to say hold on, how will this play out coherently? Virtually every single thing that frustrates the viewer from TEH on right through to the last frame of TFP could have been avoided if they had had a 3rd voice they listened to and who had the authority to thoroughly critique their plans. They were over indulged in all the wrong places.

TAB was a masterpiece but I suspect not for the reasons *they* think it was. They literally do not appear to have seen what it was they were writing. Or they did and defied the results on screen. Every critique I have, or have seen, comes down in the end to that. Letting them keep secrets from their cast and crew was a glaring warning that there was no one with the authority or the necessary expertise on board to keep them in check and join up the dots.

Moffat and Gatiss have clearly been working without an outside writer’s voice who has authority that they would listen to. Since TEH it has been a problem that only compounds. The errors build on themselves. It resulted in a finale that many critics and fans are unconvinced by for *multiple different* reasons. It was only at the end that we see just how much they were driving the show haphazardly and possibly the wrong direction.

There’s an analogy that comes to mind. One reason a manager is paid more than their secretary is that if the secretary makes a mistake their errors have less consequences in the grand scheme. You will likely notice their failings very quickly. The manager meanwhile has the ability to make errors that will not only have bigger impact but will not necessarily be immediately obvious. The more power you have the longer it will take for the true and full negative impact of your decisions to be realized. Because as a decision plays out it creates other decisions in a ripple effect that take time to play out. Of course you can offset this by critiquing the decisions before finalizing them, and thinking through what the consequences might be. If you don’t then what will happen? You can only trust the manager. You assume *they* have thought it through and assessed the potential flaws and risks and negative outcomes. That they have a plan to offset any negative consequences or prevent them from happening. Making sound decisions demands either a high level of self-critique or a system that lets criticism in. To test your plan. To raise the issue of unintended consequences. Not with an intention of blocking success but to *ensure* it.

This show was, I fear, failing at that far earlier than anyone really knew and I don’t think TBTB see it even now. A clear warning flag that many of us picked up on at the time was AA not being told Mary was going to be revealed an assassin. That was an error that not only impacted her performance (think of her as a secretary who realizing an error she didn’t even mean to make or even knew she was making then has to then self-correct on the fly). but it crucially should have signaled a much bigger managerial error that would have a series of far more fundamental negative results. That secrecy meant that no one else got to say, um… are you sure about this plot line? Have you planned any of this out adequately and considered the long term consequences on the narrative? Because if you head down this path you may not be able to undo it. You can’t just make it up as you go. Think this all out. How will this all fit? What ongoing story are you serving here? Where do you want to land?

But the manager was trusted rather than questioned. The only negative consequence was thought to be its impact on Amanda. No biggie. She’s a professional. She can recalibrate to accommodate the performance errors she unwittingly made. Tiny errors that Mofftiss assumed were no big deal, having incorrectly assumed that it would be a better surprise reveal if she was acting blind of what was to come. But that meant she was serving a different story than them. She had no choice but to. It put emphases in potentially the wrong places. Her fellow actors are in turn then reacting to her acting choices and she is reacting to them. But that notion that if they don’t know anything, or, “just assume your character knows nothing because it doesn’t matter”, is not how acting works. They didn’t trust her. I suspect they were doing this all along to their actors. Not actually trusting their skills or adequately hearing their own unfolding insights from inside the characters. So that the cast were acting repeatedly on false sets of assumptions. So too probably were the directors and crew. As a result, what shows up on screen is not what they all think they are making. They all think they are making a slightly different show.

And the widest gap is between what Mofftiss had in their heads and what was on screen. Next down the pecking order is what Martin and Ben thought they were doing. In light of TFP there are acting choices and editing choices over which take of a scene to use (going by the commentaries) that suggest there was no 3rd party with the authority to hear their conversations and say, have you considered that the actors understand the characters better than you do? If that’s true, how might they see the path they are on? Do you realize that if you use this take you are placing an emphasis you should then follow through on.

And no one had the power to point it out and not be shrugged off. So in retrospect, there are scenes that now seem totally overplayed or emotionally on the wrong foot. And the problem is, which ones were out of character in light of TFP? Because I think that’s up for debate.

This was a show attempting to be very clever and yet apparently was very much NOT thought through. The fundamental fan error was assuming stuff could not possibly be coincidence. Others went further and assumed not just endgame narrative but an incredibly intricate conspiracy that they were hiding in plain sight so the fans could guess what the end game was.

But that was never the only option. The one thing that kept getting sidelined was the possibility that they thought they all knew what they were doing but didn’t. That their plans were flawed. And that it wasn’t that they were intentionally writing a narrative that fans could subtextually read. Rather the creators could not see it. Which produced a ton of unintended coincidences. They wrote it and acted it and designed around it and scored it and could not see the wood for the trees. Because what Mofftiss said ultimately ruled at the end. And that is paradoxically *why* the love story works. Why there are so many coincidences. Because the story we read fitted the rules of storytelling even while Mofftiss tried to defy those very rules. To insist they weren’t telling it. They simply ignored what many others could see - the story they were telling in spite of themselves. They assumed their intent was more powerful a force. And in that burned the heart out of their own show. So that the finale focused on Sherlock and Eurus in a self indulgent Bond meets gothic horror genre fantasy when in fact this was always meant to be about Sherlock and John. Even platonically, they failed in TFP to deliver on that adequately. They shoved it to the side so it was virtually a subplot. The wrote the wrong kind of ending for a story they were all unconsciously writing, acting, directing, designing, scoring. The very heart of ACD’s stories. The bond between the 2 heroes. A love story, even if one that was limited in its physical or sexual expression.

They tried to refocus at the end on John and Sherlock and in their fast cut blink and you miss it montage they made yet another massive error. A huge one. They gave Mary the voice that rightly belonged to go back to John - the Boswell, the blogger, the original storyteller. So he could explain what he and Sherlock are. They did it in TAB. Sherlock understood that in TAB. That John’s public narrative is not the truth. That there is an emotional story the public doesn’t see. An emotional Sherlock the Strand reading or blog reading public doesn’t see. They should have let Sherlock’s intuition and unconscious insight be proven right in real life in the 21st century. They should have replayed that aspect of TAB in the real world. Instead, confusingly, they did the exact opposite - so much so John couldn’t tell if Sherlock was faking his own self destruction. He couldn’t tell the story if he tried. He needed a second opinion. A big clue that they had made a mistake - the same mistake that led them to introduce Mary’s DVD messages:

Mary was never the storyteller. But they tried to make her one. It was a very flawed decision. One of so many. All interlinked. And all ultimately as result of not thinking it through. They stopped serving the core story and served themselves on a personal fan boy level. They tried to be clever and completely missed the emotional context which they claimed was what this show was supposed to all be about. At a surface textual level. And a brief montage of the future feels like a rushed and inadequate pay off to that original intent. With the wrong narrator - with Mary as our intermediary - we are now inexplicably kept more at a distance from them than we were at the start. After going through hell with them.

I suspect that around TRF they began to lose the plot. They began to think details don’t matter. Even though they then discovered fans were weaving intricate explanations for how sherlock lived they persisted in letting details go. Waving it all off to please themselves and evade scrutiny. Mistake. All the contradictions in cast and crew commentaries and interviews point to that. And fans, me included, assumed they were smarter than that. We kept trying correct the story to make it make sense by assuming they must be telling a different story. Problem was we didn’t give enough air time to imagining a trash ending and looking for clues of what it might be. We wrote far too generous meta. We gave them way more credit than they were due. They really weren’t the storytellers we thought they were. They were just fan boys amusing themselves for a rug pull that was in the end not very interesting or as original as they think. And certainly not groundbreaking. Rather than correcting what everyone else got wrong, they hatched up an inadequate plan and made poor decisions. Everyone else put far too much trust in them as writers. And it all culminated in an ending that throws up huge retrospective questions about swathes of what preceded it. It potentially breaks the story so that a rewatch will not make sense.

I see little or no reason to come to any other conclusion. It fits all the rules of probability. They just weren’t good enough writers. They put ego before the heart of the narrative and were indulged by too many others.

There may be other probable conclusions. But the least generous is the most sense making one to my mind right now. It requires no leaps of logic.

#the final problem

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