#(i cant say i want to eat it it as howard but i do he looks like a fruit gummy)

[howardhamlinofficial]

Hi Howie! I drew this for you today!!! I hope you like it💙!!!

This is gorgeous!! 🥰💙💙 that sun is quite whimsical!

[makahimetenshi]

How i meet your mother and the story of how Arya Maxson was concieved - Chapter 13

Yeah im definitely changing the title of this fic, absolutely shutting down every shared url I posted about this fic on fanfiction, deleting the first two chapters and going to the final in this very job

The first two drabbles that actually are Two Separated Ways will be posted separatly.

If you are very very very delighted with one fic and want a continuation I didn’t write or post you can donate me at least $5 bucks, most of this fics have next chapters I don’t finish because lack of motivation but hey a $5 is a $5, I see a few reviews and comments that fics that are abandoned months laters receive comments of wanting to know what happens next. Here it is, I finished my handling with you all, enjoy the fic

They keep seeing each other after that, night after night, every night he takes a ventibird for a couple of hours to see his beautiful business owner to have dinner. Now he had to address her as Howard, or Nora. But not Sentinel, neither had an obligation with each other, since she didn’t have a rank anymore and she did not owe him her presence when he summoned her.

Some nights they dinner at the café, and some others at her apartment. He could see everyday how the building was changing little by little, working, improving things but above all spending money, money that worried Arthur, but Nora didn’t seem worried.

But they didn’t have sex, after all the fire turns off a bit after menacing your couple and specially if you tackle her down as a response in both minds the idea of touching and having sex sounded dangerous, very dangerous.

-When are you having another test by the way? –ask Arthur eating on his pasta with tato sauce.

-Month and half is not enough to do another test, wait until two months at least, it’s a shame I cant do them here…

He didn’t think so, preferred to do it with the medical equipment of the citadel, better results, trustworthy, a ride in ventibird to the citadel and the tower wasn’t a big effort in order to keep her safe after all.

-If I read correctly the 400 mUI/mL you had last time should be now 10000 doesn’t? –she nodded, he seem a bit exited with the idea of her pregnancy

-I wonder if should be more tho –she said drinking on her aquapura.

-What do you mean? I can bring you vitamins and supplements if you need

-This is my second pregnancy only, I don’t have much more experience

-And it was good? –she raised an eyebrow not understanding- an easy pregnancy

-It was perfect, even the uncomfortable things like waist pain at Nate side were funny and easy…The only thing I fear is the cravings

-Cravings?

-How do you plan to give me pudding with cream and dulce de leche in the middle of the night? –especially if they choose to live apart.

Arthur wait in silence, confused.

-What is pudding? -oh my gosh she needs to give him a prewar recipe book or they are going to end up shooting each other in the head.

By the time he was leaving since the night was over he noticed something odd on top of a table, weird to see

-Oh those aren’t for you –said Nora when she noticed what caught the man attention.

-Who are they for then?

-For Danse, found that pack of cigarettes and remember that he likes Big Boss

-Where did you get it? Are you going out the tower? –for some reason he felt severly upset.

-Nah I was just cleaning the metro entrances and connections this days and found it inside an old cabinet, trying to actually connect it and make a subterranean route to the city and...

-Well that’s strange, you never get anything for me

His chest hurt, and he didn’t understand why but now he was very angry, at nothing, didn’t actually had to be angry for this little thing but anyway…

-I didn’t know you liked…-Nora raised an eyebrow with curiosity

-I been smoking that brand since I was ten, of course I like it –the fact that he was visually mad and she wasn’t offering the box neither says a lot of things. Danse was priority, always will be a priority. He can forget it, not mention it in a while maybe , but she was always going to keep an eye on him to see if at some point he started to see her.

-Alright i…

He sighted, and she make silence, then close his eyes and he massaged his forehead with the tips of his fingers, sighing again- forget it, lets go

-Are you mad? –ohohohoho the nerve to be asking that

-No –he stated- I just say that you never get anything for me –put a lot of emphasis in the last part, then look somewhere else-that’s all

But suddenly he felt a menacing aura behind, something deep inside tell him to not look bad, whatever was growing at his side have a heavy and dark energy it seemed like it was going to devour him.

Heard something from behind him, she was looking around for something until he heard a metallic sound of things crashing. He didn’t move his head in that direction but instead his hand was picked by the wrist and pulled towards the door with a lot of force.

-Follow me –she said, pulling harder when his feet’s turned heavy- come on, no questions –he looked at her and my god she was angry, even tho she wouldn’t let her voice give her away, she was trying very hard to hide her emotions in her voice but her face looked very upset, very very upset.

They moved downstairs to the reception but instead of crossing the door I dragged him to a side door, it was the entrance to the basement of the building, where the connections to the subway were.

-What are you…

-Follow me –she order, and he froze and let himself be pulled, she still had his wrist very well helded and each step was like being dragged inside the metro tunnels. At some point, the more they went down she picked a baseball bat from one office in the ones they were walking by to keep going down and also give Arthur a Police baton , safety he supposed, since even a Radroach could cause a lot of harm if they encounter one down there…

The sounds of the metallic pieces she picked up in the apartment could be heard crashing in the pocket of her dress, drying his mouth of stress, now he realized.

He was being dragged by his own will down there, to such dangerous situation just because his…woman…move him…the things he was letting himself do…this wasn’t himself, a time ago he wouldn’t permit…

But then his head shout, his thoughts were silenced to what was in front of him, even Nora couldn’t pull him anymore because he was frozen and his feets couldn’t move.

It was a car.

Not polished or neither bright, of course not new, the paint was chipped and untidy, without shine or anything pretty, with scratches and indentations everywhere, as well as holes and dents on all sides of the car. The windows were scratched and slightly broken but clearly at a higher level, not very deep due to the nature of how they looked inward.

He sighted, and moved down by his own, Nora followed him until he was standing in front.

-Is this...? –he asked looking at the wheels, not detonated or exploded

-Get in the car –she said moving around to the other side of the car

What the fuck!?

He tried to open the door in front of him but the handle was dirty and oily, he couldn't open it until something clicked from inside and then he was able to move it, it jumped out so he could open it. That robbed him a sight, the fact that she went here with him means…His eyes illuminated looking at the door

-Are you…? –he asked again but was received with a very bad tune.

-I said get in the fucking car –no need to say it twice, alright, he opens and sit, the seats look clean and frankly smell good like the ones in the cinema, the inside of the car smell like…pine three…and oh there it was, a pine three decoration that actually emanates a really nice smell hanging from a mirror. He throw the Police baton to the back.

The interior was also nice, well illuminated, cleaned, the leather decorations of the walls were in good state and cleaned, the broken zones were stitched or patched…it was the better conservated car he see in his entire life. Even the mirrors of the sides weren’t broken and oh my god he was sitting inside a relic. The handlings looked functional, I mean, you can see the screes and welders and patches to make so that they would stay still in their place and not jump at the slightest moment that one needed to use them but yes, they seemed useful.

But the most important thing was on her pockets ringing, Nora sat on her seat and take out some keys also throwing her baseball bat to the back of the car.

Ohmygosh his heart started to run on his chest.

He sighted and take some air, he couldn’t believe what he was living right now, was it really functional? Yes, of course, he had seen cars working before on some other parts of the country, but was able to count them with the fingers of his hands….hand…yeah one hand maybe, repairing a car took a lot of knowleague and resources you can’t easy get anywhere and of course you need a car in the most preserved state as possible, barely scavenged because missing parts were a problem but she…did it…

She does things.

And she seemed pissed off

-How are we going…

-Put on your seat belt –she interrupted him, rude, his question was going to be a legit one, how were they going to get out the metro? He wrapped the belt around his waist and chest then he remember what she said, but his feelings didn’t let him appreciate it at that moment.

Oh my gosh.

Nora put the keys and turn on the power, the car goes brrrrrrrrr brrrrrrrrrrr loud as he never heard any type of machine before, same with the black smoke coming from behind, the vehicle even trembled a bit before she turned on the headlights and taillights, grabbed the steering wheel, and put her boots on the pedals.

Arthur hold on his belt when they accelerated and she grabbed the gear lever, moving the car forward and spinning around with a very uncomfortable and frightening squeak that made him close his eyes tightly due to the noise, then they would stop and she would accelerate forward, just forward, kept driving forward. When the man open his eyes he couldn’t believe it, not at all. They were driving on the metro hallways. The tracks were empty and cleaned.

Well, not exactly, the trash and debris were pushed to the sides enough to let the car pass between the narrow stretch but still…

They were driving, racing in the metro subway the enough.

-Were are we going? –he asked trying to recompose and gain his breath with a shy voice

-Please shut up -but she looked tense, with a frown on her face, driving like a lunatic at a speed that even generated a horrible sense of danger in him that called to the alert of all his survival senses, anyway they were driving underground with the apparently clear road but still driving so fast it was scary.

So if they were driving in the Warrington line that means…

At one special place Nora speed up more than normal and make some strange movement with the back wheels to jump over a platform, and soon enough they were driving again up in a ramp with some tracks at the side.

Oh my god they were going up to the trainyard for sure.

Then both see a light at the end of the tunnel, moonlight, the light of the sky even in the intense wasteland night, even if it was always cloudy there was light at night. She slowed down to stop and park.When they were in front of the gates Nora goes down the car with the keys on hand and close the door.

Then Arthur for the first time in that insane ride swallowed saliva, his mouth was dry as fuck.

She uses the key to open a rusted panel and like he can handle any more surprised the big gate opens.

For some reason his fingers hold more on the belt. This was unreal. And it embarrassed him, that at 33 it was the first time he had experienced things like that.

Once the big gate was open Nora came inside the car again and just drived 10 meters forward slowly, very slowly, with the same bitch annoyed face from before, then again came down, shut the door of the car and as Arthurs eyes followed her and disappeared in the service blue door right next to the gate to go inside again and do the steps on the panel to close the big rounded gate, as soon the machinery started to work to level down the gate, she came back from the blue service door to the wastelands surface, again, and then, she got in the car again, sighting, visually tired.

-Nora…-mumble Arthur, but when he tried to touch her shoulder, she smacked his hand, the man crossed his eyes, that was unnecessary.

In no time, everything was settled and ready to go, as soon the keys were on spot, the car was running and driving on the highway, jumping and honestly suffering from the bad state of the asphalt but it was obvious, it was hard to even move with a Brahmin on foot on that abandoned highways how it wasn’t going to be with an actual car? Arthur look at the window as they passed by The Overlook Drive-In illuminated by the moonlight reflecting on the clouds, the easiest way to go up was to reach the Arlington Library by that freeway and continue up as the road wasn’t blocked.

Wait she was dropping him?

He tried to touch her knee over the dress but quickly she grunted and move her head uncomfortable, eyes on the road-don’t touch me

-Hey –he called, but again, she made that uncomfortable sound- listen

-Don’t –she said with a very angry face, annoyed as fuck, something really trigger her over an hour ago to go on a driving rampage and not even glance at him- im driving

He said nothing, look at her angry eyebrows and again hold at the seat belt with his life unable to do anything else, he was in a mixture of being exited and scared. Never actually drived in the night of the wastelands like that, never feel such adrenaline of being transported at such dangerous speed by someone so reckless and crazy and...right now wasn’t sure if being attracted as hell or scared of his life that one of those potholes on the highway and broken asphalt was going to kill them both.

Or three, their baby too.

He glanced at her for a minute and she looked hot, angry and savage, beautiful under the moonlight of the wastelands, taking control of the road.

Tho he couldn’t concentrate much with his own thoughts, the jumps and sounds of broken stuff in the car really messes up to formulate ideas

When they passed the Nuka-Cola Plant he realized that it was going to be a quiet trip, she didn’t want to talk to him, right now she wanted to be angry despite he…ahhh…Arthur doesn’t know how to feel actually, being around was painful, he didn’t want to be this confused all the time but he really wanted to try, he always wanted to believe in chances for everything to get better and…it doesn’t…but he was also really turned on, she has so much to offer to someone like him, all the time surprising him, always being exceptional, powerful in every sense.

Like I said, it was difficult to keep a line of ideas straight with the car dripping and jumping each second like crazy. He may get crazy for all the noise, and fear.

But he knew that he was also crazy for her, confused and everything.

The mix of fear, shock and adrenaline sedated him in his seat, too much happening in his head and surroundings, everything going too fast to process, his own brain jumping inside what he felt like an empty head didn’t help, so he shouted his mind and look at the windows, enjoing the destroyed landscapes.

When they reach water and see the Jefferson Memorial he looked at her, her temple had soften and her mouth was no longer pressed, she relaxed her jaw, still, didn’t say nothing as she avoided and drift obstacles.

He wasn’t sure if she was a good driver or a crazy woman driving.

They reach the citadel eventually and obviously there was an army of soldiers pointing at them at the entrance, the ones who see them at the top of the building summoned a lot of reinforcements in case that the speed car with the lights on was a war machine ready to attack but no.

Nora seemed unfrighten by that. Didn’t mind a few laser rifles pointing at her chest at all.

The cat stop and the first thing Arthur did was open the windows on his side and went out with his body slightly out of the window, raising his hands just to show his brothers that he was not a danger and that he really was the one.

-It’s the elder Maxson! Stand by soldiers! Calm down everybody! –he screamed and stand a moment for everyone to see him and recognize his face, even when a lamplight hit his face entirely. Then, someone in the guard made an okay sign with the hand and he went inside again, but as soon his ass meet the seat again he was kicked in the face by a bunch of keys. Painful. Specially hurt on the nose.

Wait wat.

No way.

-There you have a gift of your taste –Nora said that with a really resentful gaze, opening her side of the car and stepping out, everybody pointed the laser rifles at her and she just sighted to the air, kicking on the floor while all eyes were on her.

-Sentinel wait –he screamed moving to her seat but when their eyes meet he found surprise.

She was looking at him with genuinely surprise.

-Sentinel? –she mumble, he couldn’t hear her because of the noise the engine of the car made but…

Oh. He forgot.

Both forgot important things to the other

He swallowed saliva and look around for some other soldier, taking a leg off and picking the keys, holding on it with his life, those keys were important. Very important.

-Soldier, please take the sentinel by ventibird to the Tenpenny tower now–he ask and the man nodded with the power armor helmet. Everybody put their laser rifles down, it was Elder Maxson and Sentinel Nora after all, their people.

She frowned at him but still turned around and followed the soldier that answer to the elder petition.

Once he saw her walking towards the gate of the citadel he sighted, pressing on the keys with his fingers, wanting to feel the pain bring him to reality, then, he looked at the keys, moving the other leg outside the car seat. Everybody was looking at him, confused for sure.

He can still feel the adrenaline of drive fast in the wastelands night, risking his life in some pothole in the pavement, not crashing against a collapsed building by pure miracle, not dripping and flying in the airs in circles to crash against the highway. His heart wont stop pounding inside his chest and by moments it was turning painful with a big anxiety and an enormous feeling of empty on his chest, a really big feeling of desperation and uncertainty.

She really was something else.

And he wanted her.

[sadachmesarthim]

just think about them for a minute:

- i want peter parker, the new boy king of an organized crime unit ben has figureheaded for decades. the entire seaboard adores him - no one knows what's really paying the bills. as far as they know, real estate is booming again 

- i want tony stark, our sweet young man from the city, taking after his father howard doing pro bono defense cases and helping the more unfortunate souls of new york 

- i want quentin beck, disgraced reporter for the bugle, who is this fucking close to being fired if he won't stop going on and on about these old money families the entire city loves and actually find a credible story 

- i want an angry quen beck, heart still aching and shattered, freshly broken up with, ready to spill every single secret about the parkers, and i want tony. poor, sweet, innocent tony, willing to walk right into the parker estate and practically announce that he's there for more evidence. and, because he's a total fucking moron, i want him to get caught.

- i want a peter that likes this little fly he's caught, this... tony stark. a peter that'll play with his food before he eats it. maybe he doesn't keep him - at least not locked in his basement or chained to the wall. but maybe he brings buck & steve over, whispers to them just loud enough for tony to hear. tells them to bring q to the house, however they had to.

- i want a peter that likes this little fly he's caught, this... tony stark. a peter that'll play with his food before he eats it. maybe he doesn't keep him - at least not locked in his basement or chained to the wall. but maybe he brings buck & steve over, whispers to them just loud enough for tony to hear. tells them to bring q to the house, however they had to.

- and maybe they sit tony down in front of quentin, not bound or restrained in anyway - just sitting in front of quentin and watching as peter forces q onto his knees and pulls the bag off his head. and tony .... doesn't want to run. this is just more evidence, right??? and peter is so content, inside, because he knows tony is just a tad bit too interested, and quentin beck is scared as fuck. because he knew he would get caught. he just didn't think it would be so soon. 

- i want peter to sit next to tony as steve and bucky take turns whaling on quentin. i want tony watching, unwavering, as fists fly and blood runs. i want peter watching tony, eyes not leaving the man next to him, absolutely enraptured by his lack of fear. i want peter not at all concerned with the feeling in his gut as he watched tony's eyes get big when he sees quentin spit a bloody tooth out of his mouth. i want tony really fucking concerned by the total lack of fear and self preservation instincts he has within himself throughout the entire thing.

- i want him even more concerned when he doesn't even flinch, not when the two big buff guys are hitting quentin, not when peter stands up. not at all concerned when peter pulls a gun out from underneath his jacket. not when peter glances back at tony from over his shoulder, or when peter clicks the safety off and lines it up with quentin's right temple. not when peter shoots the little rat that got tony here in the first place, not when a fine spray of blood ends up all over his face. not when peter comes to kneel in front of him, safety still off and barrel still warm and gun resting right next to tony's dick what the fuck is this guy doing. not when peter snatches his own silk square from his breast pocket and wipes tony's face off, dabbing away the offensive red stains. not even when peter brings his lips up to tony's ear and whispers "i know you can keep quiet for me, can't you baby?".

- not when the gun is pulled away from his crotch and brought up to his hairline, tip of it dragged so gently from temple to chin. not when peter tips his head up so tony can fully face him, fully meet his eyes. i want the butterflies in tony's stomach when peter uses his loaded gun to force tony to his feet. i want them when peter uses his gun instead of his fingers to draw tony's lips toward his own. i want the catch in his throat when peter's unoccupied hand closes around it, when tony's forced into a box he didn't even know existed. i want the questionable sense of safety that wraps its way around him after the only first night he spends in peters bed. i want the security he feels when the blood is rinsed out of the clothes he wore that day - good as new, it never happened. i want the love he feels when peter buys him a ring - for his middle finger of course, a modestly sized titanium band, with an inscription on the inside 

- i want the emptiness that he feels when peter tells him to never come back to the house. to never contact him again. that he can never come back. i want the tan line that develops around that ring - the feeling of distant ownership that comes with being peter parker's silent boy - i want the raised imprint on his skin - "quiet for me" - that's visible whenever he takes the ring off. he never takes the ring off. and maybe peter still helps fund howards tonys law firm, and helps make it possible for him to take all those pro bono cases and still eat regularly. and maybe he still keeps tony safe from the less desirable people seeking his services, that peter knows would look at or touch or think about him in ways that ,,, set peter's skin on fire. and maybe peter likes it. having his hands around the sweet defense lawyer boy from down the street, even if it's from afar. and maybe tony likes it too. likes keeping peters secrets. likes being his metaphorical kept boy. likes having the physical reminder on his finger that if he were ever to open his mouth, he would end up just like quentin.

- but maybe. maybe it isn't really enough for either of them. so maybe tony fucks up one day and asks to be seen. he knows he's not allowed to come back to the house. he knows he's not allowed to talk to peter again. but he has to. tony has to see him again. so he goes and he insists and that gets him a nice swift punch to the stomach - but he still gets to see peter. and peter waives everyone else away but tony, and they go, and they talk. they talk like lovers 50 years married. they talk like soulmates ripped from each others grasp. tony breaks down and says that he cant stay away. that he'll stay quiet for the rest of his life - that peter can do whatever he wants to him to make sure of it - but he can't just stay away. and peter's heart... it hurts. it aches for the man in front of him because he wants so desperately to keep him.

- and maybe... maybe tony stark, new york lawyer, 28, heir to the stark law firm, goes missing one day. maybe howard and maria are devastated and do everything in their power to find their son. maybe they wake up one morning to a loud knock on the door and an envelope sliding underneath. maybe they open it to a letter from their missing son and a check for $10,000,000. maybe they read a beautifully worded goodbye, a heartbroken apology for abandoning them, but assurance that he's okay. maybe tony spends his days in plush robes and silk shirts and $500 boxers. maybe he has a beautiful collection of collars and bracelets and rings and even crowns that his lover has bought him. maybe he enjoys it when peter comes in with a new circle of gold to wrap around his neck or finger or wrist or head. maybe he likes playing dress-up for his prince. and maybe, just maybe... peter likes spoiling the little fly he caught in his web. he likes putting gold and diamonds and gemstones all over this precious little catch 

- because he loves his tony, and his tony loves him, and the best way to keep him quiet is to keep him close 

inspiration: black treacle - arctic monkeys, suck it and see - arctic monkeys

i know the formatting on this sucks i don’t know how to fix it i’m sorry

[alltooreid]

please do rank mgg's movies on how much you liked them ! i've only seen a couple and i'd love to hear it :D

omg i got so many asks and im so happy so first of all thank you everyone!! @ssa-m-187 also asked for this so im just gonna do it in one

just to clarify this is ranked purely on my favs, not how long mgg is in it or how important he is (also spoiler free cause of course i want everyone to watch any of these that sound interesting to them!!)

also this is subjective! so if i say i dont like anyones fav or i love ur least fav its all good!! opinions and commentary are good and im just being dramatic in these casual reviews cause its fun

18. zoe

this movie annoyed me, because its SO BORING, i struggled to make it through the full thing cause it is not interesting at all imo. i wouldn't recommend you watch unless you specifically (like me) wanna be able to say you watched them all

17. beautiful girl/the ugly life of a beautiful girl

mgg himself said he didnt think this movie would ever see the light of day and i completely understand why, it wasn't made well, and there was almost no actual point (ALSO THE ENDING MADE ME WANNA SHOVE MY HEAD INTO A WALL)

however... if you wanna see mgg play a *ahem* adult film director than i will not judge you

also if anyone was to ask me to rate them based on how hot he looks this one would be HIGH

anyway moving on

16. endings, beginnings

once this was SO BORING... how can a movie with 4 of my celebrity crushes struggle to hold my attention so much?? ill tell you CAUSE ITS NOT VERY GOOD and all the characters suck and are boring (except mgg plays this like perfect ex boyfriend so good job casting department)

15. rv

its just... not funny... like it gets to be up here cause i wasnt bored out of my mind but its just.. not funny at all

14. newness

i know a lot of people love this one but i just didnt vibe with it, i expected it to be something it wasn't and i think that's partly the fault of how they marketed it but it made me a little peeved

13. the great buck howard

probably the most average out of every film on here, i really have no take aways from it, its fine but like i wouldn't recommend you go watch it if that makes sense

12. 68 kill

please dont murder me, i know my opinions are unpopular everyone but I DONT LIKE IT, i think its entertaining, i think its fun to watch with friends so you can all make fun of it together but its just not a objectively good movie

also its incredibly misogynistic

11. life after beth

this one i know is objectively bad but i cant help but love it anyways... its just fun and entertaining

10. magic valley

i struggle where to place this one, it's definitely interesting and thought provoking... but i dont think its one of the best

i liked it more the more i sat and thought about it

9. how to be a serial killer

i like this one a lot!! if you can find it i say watch it, but it's not a stand out for me personally

8. hot air

ONCE AGAIN I KNOW THIS IS LIKE EVERYONES FAV AND ALL THAT but i just dont like the "homewrecker" trope, in like really any kind of media

i feel like it's romanticized a lil here and that kind of turned me off

however!! i understand why people like this one and other than that i think this one is really good so i would definitely recommend it

7. trash fire

i thought about this movie for hours after i watched it... its so good... like ahhhh i really like this one (its a lil... strange though so it might not be for everyone if that makes sense)

6. (500) days of summer

not a love story but so good (im telling yall this cause youll hate it if you think its a love story oops)

5. the life aquatic with steve zissou

compelling, interesting, and i love a good unreliable narrator, it truly keeps me going

4. band of robbers

this is also an unpopular opinion but i love this one (im allowed to like movies for the sole reason that theyre fun yall and this is one of them)

3. horse girl

WATCH THE FULL THING, EVERYONE JUST WATCHES THE ONE SCENE BUT I PROMISE THIS WHOLE MOVIE IS SUCH A GOOD VIEWING EXPERIENCE AND SO WORTH IT

2. suburban gothic

one of the funniest movies ever imo, its my go to comfort movie

1. excision

NO ONE TALKS ABOUT THIS ONE BECAUSE HES NOT IN IT A TON BUT ITS GENUINELY ONE OF THE BEST MOVIES IVE EVER SEEN

IM STILL THINKING ABOUT IT AND ITS BEEN MONTHS SINCE IVE SEEN IT

HOWEVER, its disturbing (i watched it while eating lunch, i would strongly suggest you DONT do that) and has a lot of cutting and general medical/surgical horror, if that is not your thing maybe dont watch this one

but seriously i dont think this movie is appreciated enough, i love it and im so glad i decided one time i was gonna watch all the mgg movies cause i would have never seen this otherwise

[sneezy-cheeseloaf]

recounting the entire avengers: endgame movie, which i only saw once when it came out, from memory

because i just took the SAT and i want to do anything except think about that so get ready for a fun ride full of holes and my reenactments of scenes and quotes that i remember from however many years it’s been now since endgame came out. buckle the fuckle up

movie opens, clint’s whole ass family fucking dies. cue killing spree fueled by grief and anger. HashTag Relatable

tony is floating through space with nebula and teaching her how to play paper football

holy shit is this how tony dies

“pep” ouc h

oh hey he’s home, dope

The Gang (tm) learns where thanos’s farm is somehow i can’t really remember

“perhaps i judged you too harshly”

“???? thor????” “what? i went for the head”

“five” five what?? days?? weeks??? months???? oh boy i can’t wait to find ou- “years later” HUH???????

steve looks the exact same, so i guess he kept up that workout schedule even through the snap. i mean good for him honestly

and is also running a talk therapy group like sam did

a single smidgen of gay representation but it’s a good start ig

i don’t really remember what everyone else was doing, i just know that tony and pep have morgan now but idk if that gets revealed now or later

the only reason we had a movie is because of a rat. everyone say thank you to Rat for releasing scott lang, please. round of applause

scott’s daughter is all grown up and catch me sobbing over the fact that he wasn’t there to see it

somewhere in here nat is crying and eating a sandwich and honestly girl same

“hey!!! it’s me!!!! scott lang!!! ant man???? also what the hell happened???? lemme IN”

cue scott lang having a single brain cell and bringing up time travel. i think it was him that proposed the idea. maybe not. but imma give him credit

oh yeah bruce and hulk are besties now and bruce is just permanently Like That

and cue everyone being shook at the idea of time travel

time to go see Science Man at his house on the lake

“i wish you had come for anything else.” ouch

gang leaves dejectedly

peter. that’s it. and suddenly tony is all hands on deck

cue science mumbo jumbo in the middle of the night while he eats something out of a bag that i can’t remember

“shit!!” “sHiT!!!” “NO”

“i love you 3000″

Science Man reveals that he has, indeed cracked the code to literal time travel

cue nat, the only person with an umbrella, going to find clint who is busy with murder, as he does

“don’t do that. don’t give me home” stfu budapest man and get in the car.

thor has. enlargened. and is now playing fortnight with korg as a means to cope with what happened plus losing loki, as i think we all would

The Gang is back together and working (surprisingly) coordinately and throwing ideas around and it’s actually very cute. and it makes my heart very happy. and i want to cry every time i think about it because we all know what comes next

scott’s taco gets blown away. bruce gives him another. all is well in the world

and in this exhibit we see the only brain cell in the whole group, which is being used by rhodey at all times

“why don’t we just,,,, (choking motion)” “to a BABY???”

during the time tests someone gets reverted to a baby but i don’t remember who and it’s highkey disturbing

“i consider this an absolute win!!”

cue slo mo walk with the cool white time suits that everyone looks so good in

“see you in a minute” that smile. she looks so happy. sobbing

i think it’s in here that all the color go through steve’s eyes, so let’s just take a minute to acknowledge how pretty he is

“just for the record, that suit did nothing for your ass.” “i don’t remember asking you to look”

“that’s america’s ass.” yes it is scott you’re absolutely right

“i cOuLd dO tHiS aLL dAy” “yeah i knoOoOW”

time for tony to give tony a heart attack and then just stare in what i can only assume is amusement. i’m pretty sure that comes after america’s ass but maybe not

somewhere in here steve is just staring at peggy through blinds and it’s sad when you see it but when you think about it afterwards, it’s so funny for no reason

time to get whacked by a very angry hulk who was not allowed to use the elevator

“NO STAIRS”

tony goes flying. so does the tesseract. loki, in handcuffs, is like “oh bet this is mine now” and. Leaves.

i’m pretty sure it’s bruce who goes and gets schooled by The Ancient One on the multiverse, and i say it’s bruce because i think he’s the only one out of The Gang who could ever actually wrap his head around it

i don’t remember exactly how they get the tesseract but they do

thor and rocket are in asgard and thor has a panic attack, as I think we all would if we had to talk to our dead mother and pretend like we don't know what's going to happen

and remember kids, slapping someone is not the way to handle a panic attack. anyways

a mother always knows

"i'm still worthy!!!!" you always were, thor. you never stopped being worthy

and we have our hammer back

cue sobbing on vormir

“clint. it’s ok. it’s ok.” that smile.

nat’s fucking dead and i’m fucking dead inside let’s keep this party goin

other stones are recovered and i don’t really remember how but hey we got all six

“where’s nat?” cue more sobbing from me and from clint as you can see each and every team member’s heart drop to the fucking floor. especially steve

yeah maybe we’re doing this for half the universe and all the people we lost, but mostly for nat now

tony’s makeshift infinity gauntlet has entered the chat

Green Man is the only one who can physically take the power of the stones, so the fate of literally everything they have ever done up to this point is on him

snap rest in peace bruce’s arm

cue every single person in the theater holding their breath

“guys. it worked.”

cue explosion as their facility gets bombed and i am terrified that it has killed the entire gang

but it obviously has not and i am once again a Class A Idiot

i can't remember if it’s steve or tony who wakes up first but one shakes the other awake and is like “get the fuck up bitch idk what just happened but we got a problem”

everyone is mostly fine. but they’re all alive and that’s what matters

and now we have the setting for the entire rest of the movie basically

oh hey thanos. that’s uh. that’s a big army you got there

i don’t really remember everything that happened with The Past thanos, gamora, and nebula but i remember that gamora once again sees what a twat her adoptive father is and is like “oh hell na”

cue the gang fighting for their lives against Past thanos. literally

oh shit thor’s about to be killed????

OH MY GOD HE HAS THE HAMMER

cue the theater screaming as they should

hell yeah. bonk that giant space grape with the god of thunder’s hammer. you go steve. and look like a badass doing it as you should

shit’s still fucked and they eventually get their asses handed to them one by one

somewhere in here the shield breaks just like we saw in age of ultron. and like damn bro i liked that thing

steve stands up by himself because bitch. you cant kill him unless he says so. he dies on his own terms. he didn’t live for over a fucking century to die like this

our mans is standing up against a whole ass army knowing full well that he can’t win but damn if he aint ready to try

“ok listen strange. you have to open the portal to his left. his LEFT. you hear me???”

“steve. STEVE. on your left.”

cue the most goosebump-inducing scene that i have ever seen and probably will ever see. i would do anything to see that scene for the first time again. that feeling was like nothing i’ve ever experienced

the amazing symphonics are NOT helping my already-about-to-explode-from-excitement heart

now the gang’s ALL here. and we all cry because all of our peeps are back from the dead and we all missed them and highkey grieved for them after infinity war

i can’t remember if steve actually sees bucky yet but i think he does and i wanted to cry on the spot because not only did i miss bucky but man did i just want them to see each other again

cue sick pan of the whole ass marvel roster like smash ultimate, including howard duck somewhere in there

PETER OUR BOY SWINGIN ON IN

“AVENGERS. assemble.” “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA”

but we all know damn well that not a single person could hear him whisper that shit. like steve bro speak up a little

and the battle for the ages commences

we get to see all our favorite boys are girls fuck shit up and it’s absolutely incredible. wow it really feels like someone’s missing who could that be.

this is now a very elaborate game of keepaway

“catch” “Catch” “CATCH “CATCH”

“hey queens” he remembered. catch me cryin

“hey peter. got somethin for me?” god i love her. flew through a whole ass spaceship. no stoppin her

t'challa remembers clint's name. he did care

oh yeah scott is fucking humongous again, but third time’s the charm ig. maybe he won't pass the fuck out this time

somewhere in here, strange starts holding like. an entire ocean back and i dont really remember where it came from

we get a whole segment of marvel women kicking ass and taking names and i think i just need to take a minute. WE collectively need to take a minute

carol flies straight through a spaceship and everyone is like ???? hello????? where have you been?????????

carol gets literally headbutted by thanos and doesnt move a fucking inch. and that look of murder in her eyes. she could tell me to walk into a pit of lava and i would not question it. the power

“launch the missiles!!!” “but sir, our army-” “DO IT”

damn thanos our expectations for you were low but holy fuck

somewhere in here i think petter quill sees Past gamora and is like gamora???? and she like kicks him in the balls or somethin and is like “this is the ones i picked?????”

the fight continues and honestly a lot of it’s a blur but damn was it not the coolest thing i’ve ever seen. 

cue strange knowing exactly how this was gonna go down, and holding up a single finger

i dont think ive ever seen that look on tony's face before

oh shit thanos has the gauntlet and all the stones. fuck.

wait holdup that gauntlet looks a little funky

WAIT HOLDUP

“i am inevitable”

“and i. am iron man.”

the theater, once again holds its breath

all is lowkey calm and everyone is shook

thanos’s entire army slowly fades away. including one of those big worm things that almost eats (i think it was) rocket but like. dusts right as it hits the ground and is a really cool shot

and thanos sits down on a rock. and finally is gone. and it's so cathartic

oh joyous day!! they’ve won!! they’ve done it!!! wait holdup where’s tony. i remember what happened to bruce where the fuck is tony

wait

wait hold on

wait hold on a minute

“we did it. we won, mr stark. we won. please, mr stark”

“pep.”

“it’s ok. you can rest. you can rest.”

i have officially passed away and am a sobbing mess. you can’t do this to me. he’s gonna come back. there’s no way. tony stark doesn’t die. no.

this is a fucking funeral. i am going to combust into tears

“proof that tony stark has a heart”

i just wanted him to be able to see morgan grow up.

but him and nat are eating shawarma together in the sky now.

“i’m recording this in case something goes wrong, which it won’t.”

“i love you 3000.”

oh we’re still rolling. oh we don’t even get a minute to process

steve is leaving??? wait holdup we cant lose both. no

“are you sure about this?” “i have to”

“i’m with you til the end of the line” so that was a fucking lie

but steve deserves to do what makes him happy. so i can’t be too mad. actually, nah i aint even mad i’m just sad

bucky looks so dejected. so sad. someone please give him a hug. he desperately needs it

oh hey steve. but you’re old now. hey then, grandpa. how did you. get there

buck and sam go talk to him as they should

“you wanna talk about her?” “no, i don’t think i will”

“how does it feel?” “like it belongs to someone else”

sam has officially inhered the shield, and by extension, his very own bucky barnes. it’s a packaged deal

clint’s got his family back. and they can finally finish their picnic or whatever they were doing at the beginning of the movies

and steve finally got that dance. finally. and he looks so happy. so content.

and that’s about all i remember

i have not watched endgame since i saw it in theaters when it came out because i absolutely do not have the emotional stability to do it again. but damn the disney plus shows have been bangin

i hope you enjoyed the ride, thank you for joining me in my. whatever the fuck this is

[pineapplesandbananas]

My thought process watching Endgame (spoilers btw):

(This is very long, I wrote this as I watched, knew Tony and Nat would die but I didn't know when. It's a chaotic mess of me screaming and sobbing the whole movie. Please enjoy.)

-So I started crying two minutes in.

-THE BARTONS 😭.

-TONYYYYYY.

-Carol you little shit.

-NaTaShA rOmAnOfF sToP bReAkInG mY hEaRt.

-Nat's hair is awesome.

-Scottttttt.

-OH MY GOD IT'S A MINI TONY OH MY GOD MORGAN IS SO ADORABLE.

-nats broken.

-BRUCE PLEASE OH MY GOD I DUNNO WHAT TO THINK BUT IT'S BORDERING ON YOU'RE A NATIONAL ICON.

-MORGAN MY DEAR DONT SWEAR.

-Tony please don't make me cry with your great parenting.

-I LOVE YOU 3000 PLEASE I CANT DO THIS. NATASHA AND BRUCE PLEASE THEY'RE AWESOME.

-SCOTT-

-"oh thank god." *clutches pearls*

-"TIME TRAVEL"

-HELLO TONY

-GREAT JOB TONY JUST JINXED YOURSELF

-nebula.

-BRUCE IS THE MOST PURE MAN

-WHAT IS THIS???

-BRUCE???

-heeeeya Valkyrie

-OH WOW THOR'S A WHOLE ASS DISASTER

-OH MY GOD NOT THE FORTNITE

-"yes, I'm fine, why?" *is a literal mess*

-"wuzzit natahjhaaa"

-CLINT OH MY GOD

-I'm gonna say it now and it'll be said again later, Clint should've died.

-NATASHA PLEASE STOP CRYING

-thor's a damn disaster

-THE SUITS OH MY GOD

-Clint's such a mess

-Thor and Clint need psychiatric help. They all do. But those two especially.

-Nat needs therapy, she's so beyond deoressed.

-oh Thor...

-Nat taking notes 😅✋🏼

-THE WALK

-I LOVE IT

-"see ya in a minute" NATASHA NO

-BRUCE IS TOO PURE FOR THIS WORLD

-HULK-BRUCE OWNS MY HEART

-MISS GIRL THE FUCK YOU JUST DID???

-JANEEEEE???

-"the chick with the antenna."

-HOW DID I NEVER NOTICE THOR'S EYES ARE DIFFERENT COLOURS

-Clint should've died.

-WHAT HAPPENED IN BUDAPEST???

-gamoraaaa

-ugh thanos.

-"Mr Rogers I forgot about that suit it did NOTHING for your ass." TONY PLEASE-

-hulk vs stairs is my aesthetic.

-"medic medic. This guy needs some help."

-LOKI FOR FUCKS SAKES

-ugh they didn't factor in so many things... This will be a mess...

-JANE JANE JANE JANE JANE

-Frigga and Thor ohhhhhh

-"eat a salad"

-DANCE BREAK WITH QUILL

-NEBULA WHAT IS HAPPENING

-FUCKING HELL

-fuck fuck fuck

-I wonder if we'll see Peggy...

-OOP

-BAHAHA HOWARD AND TONY

-HOWARD POTTS PLEASE

-We should go pay a visit to S.H.I.E.L.D so we can go say hi to Peggy- OH IT'S PEGGY HI PEGGY

-PEGGY OH MY GOD I LOVE HER SHE HAS A PICTURE OF STEVE ON HER DESK AND SHE'S OLDER NOW OH

-oh tony and howard.

-heads up I'm crying again.

-JARVIS

-JARVIS JARVIS JARVIS JARVIS JARVIS OH MY GOD I MISSED YOU YOU'RE SO OLD OH I LOVE YOU SO MUCH AH PLEASE MY HEAR CANT DEAL WITH THIS

-welp. Nebula.

-UGH NO THIS IS WHERE NAT'S GONNA DIE

-why does Clint use a katana now???

-"oh good."

-NAT'S GONNA DIE SOON

-CLINT YOU SHIT WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST JUMP YOU DIPSHIT LITTLE MOTHER FUCKING ASSHOLE???

-I CANT SEE THE SCREEN I'M CRYING TOO MUCH

-NATASHA

-NATASHA NO PLEASE NO IT'S NOT OKAY NATASHAAAAAAA

-I'm having a breakdown so it's time for a pause

-goddamnit natasha.

-I love you so much don't do this to me.

-no death has hit me harder ever in the history of my life.

-we lost nat.

-BRUCE 😭

-MY HEART IS IN SO MUCH PAIN.

-she's gone...

-nat 😭

-YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT IT SHOULD'VE BEEN YOU.

-bruce🥺

-we love you so much natasha. rest in peace sweet dear.

-FUCKING HELL EVIL NEBULA

-everybody comes home.

-not natasha though.

-Bruce. I swear to fucking god.

-FUCK

-BRUCE??

-DID IT WORK???

-ARE THEY HOME NOW?

-THEY'RE OKAY

-OH

-WHAT'S HAPPENING???

-WANDA BABY PLEASE COME AND SAVE THEM

-OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD

-NOT AGAIN PLEASE NO

-STUPID MOTHER FUCKING THANOS

-gamora???

-WHERE'S MY BABY WANDA???

-OH SHIT

-why tf is thanos such a damn dick. Like, sir?

-*cue our perfect little baby wanda???*

-I really miss Nat...

-GODDAMNIT EVIL NEBULA

-FUCK YEAH GAMORA

-peace out evil nebula

-Wait- when the hell does Tony die? I've never seen pics of his death... I WON'T BE PREPARED

-STEVE???

-STEVE WITH THE HAMMER PLEASE

-NO STEVE'S SHIELD

-we really need wanda right about now...

-like, really

-OH HI GUYS I MISSED YOU SO MUCH

-HI PETER OH MY GOD I MISSED YOU BUD. TONY DID TOO

-YES.

-FUCK. YES.

-THE QUEEN HATH RETURNED

-WANDA! WANDA! WANDA! WANDA!

-OH HI PEPPER!

-AYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

-i miss nat...

-ASSEMBLE!

-FUCK. YES.

-OH MY GOD LOVE IT

-"you have the little one."

-TONY AND PETER

-"oh. This is nice."

-MY HEART FEELS HAPPY. THESE ARE SEMI HAPPY TEARS. OKAY??? SEMI HAPPY. I'M KINDA OKAY RN.

-GAMORA PLEASE-

-LA CUCARACHA???

-OH FUCK YEAH THIS IS SO COOL

-GO T'CHALLA

-NO T'CHALLA

-WANDA

-WANDA

-WANDAAAAA

-FUCK YOU THANOS

-"you will."

-WANDA REALLY SAID, "I give you, some bad bitch shit."

-not wanda single-handedly taking down thanos

-oh no, is little thanos scared??? /s

-PLEASE PETER

-oh pepperrrrr

-it stopped..?

-OH HI CAROL? I'M ASSUMING IT'S YOU?

-YEAH IT'S CAROL BEING A BAD BITCH.

-CAROL AND WANDA REALLY SAID," FUCK YOU I'M BETTER THAN ALL Y'ALL PUT TOGETHER!"

-The Girls™ (and Peter)

-UGH THE POWER THESE WOMEN HOLD

-nat would've really pulled it all together...

-"IM A BAD BITCH YOU CANT KILL ME" - The Girls™

-there's 35 minutes left and I just realized the pain isn't over yet.

-I'll finish just before midnight tho.

-CAROL

-FUCK

-OH HELL YEAH CAROL

-BAHAHA PLEASE

-shit shit shit

-OH NO TONY-

-BAHAHAHA

-NO TONY

-Tony's gonna die now...

-"nat, we won." "what'd it cost?" "everything."

-thanos is gone.

-OH TONY PLEASE.

-OH RHODEY

-PETER😭😭😭

-"we won mr stark."

-OH PEPPER I'M SO SORRY

-"hey pep."

-"we're gonna be okay. you can rest now."

-PEPPER

-NO TONY PLEASE TONY NO

-rest in peace tony. we love you.

-OH PEPPER I'M SO SORRY

-please i can't take this anymore.

-UGH I CANT DO THIS I CANT DO THIS I CANT I CANT I CANT

-MORGAN YOU POOR BABY YOUR DADDY LOVES YOU 3000 SWEET GIRL

-PROOF THAT TONY STARK HAS A HEART 😭

-this hurts too much.

-that's gay.

-OH NICK

-wow really Carol? A full damn pantsuit.

-wanda my poor sweet baby your mom loves you.

-"she knows. they both do"

-MORGAN WANTS CHEESEBURGERS PLEASE THIS HURTS

-HAPPY GIVE THAT LITTLE GIRL EVERY CHEESEBURGER IN THE UNIVERSE

-there's tears pouring down my face, snot dripping out of my nose. My heart has never in it's entire life been this broken before

-i have a headache from crying so much.

-"yes please please knives."

-"I am groot."

-we know bruce. we miss her too.

-that's also gay.

-he's not coming back, is he?

-no he's not.

-he's going back for peg.

-who da?

-IT'S OLD STEVE WHAT-?

-why does he look like biden?

-70 years of character development down the drain.

-OH THE RING-

-OH HE GOT TO MARRY PEGGY-

-I LOVE THIS SONG WITH EVEEY FIBER OF MY BEING OH PEGGY I'M SO HAPPY FOR YOU

-OKAY SO LIKE-

-WOW.

-wow.

-I'm crying again because of this song and the dance with Peggy and Steve-

-my brain is overloading. I have a really big headache, very emotionally drained. Best movie. By far. The amount of pain I felt. I've never been this heartbroken before. 3000/10. why are end credits making me cry?

-NATASHA I LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU

[tortured-swiftie]

@revouries sorry it took so long but here is my full list of song recs! Ps - it is loooooong

So I’m still very surprised anyone is even interested in this but its a really cool thing to share! This playlist has taken me close to a decade to create and I’ve been asked to share it with you all! Fair warning - heavy spoilers, and a lot is based on ship angst, don’t come for me. Also I have only read TDA twice and its been maybe a year since I did so I don’t remember everything perfectly. I had a lot more time with TMI because I read them for years and years. TID & TLH don’t really have soundtracks for me, because of the time period these modern songs really feel wrong when I read those series.

TMI :

Battle in Hotel Dumort in CoB -

- I’m So Sorry - Imagine Dragons

The pace of this song, the sinister notes, the danger it invokes just brings this scene alive. But also, this is the first time Clary feels like a Shadowhunter. She fights and its not terrible. She feels powerful instead of like a liability. Shes able to hold her own while talking to a clan of vampires. Its badass and fits the song.

Seelie Court kiss scene in CoA -

- The Violet Hour - The Civil Wars

Its such a beautifully haunting song, its sweet on the one hand but something wrong lies underneath it. It is so so perfect, because Clace is getting what they’ve wanted, but by hurting those around them. They get to give in for once, without the guilt attached, they have someone to blame for all this. But it ends on this very uneasy note, because it isnt right. So much of it is not right and Clace are not satisfied because it wasn’t a real kiss or real declaration of love

Jace and Clary after the meeting with the Seelie Queen in the Institute in CoA -

- Black Flies - Ben Howard

This is a very Jace song for me. Its quiet, peaceful, but the words are hurtful and honest. “No man is an island” fits him so perfectly at this time in his life where he feels abandoned by Valentine, abandoned by Mayrse, abandoned by literally everyone so he wants to make it worse by committing to Clary. She is so unsure of him because of the repercussions it would cause and he wants her in this moment because of the repercussions. He wants to isolate himself so he cant be hurt by those he loves.

Jace meets Valentine on the boat CoA -

- Silence Worth Breaking - Brooke Annibale

This is where Valentine really shows off how manipulative he is, and as a reader you start to believe how easy it would be to get around to his way of thinking. imo this is the best villain CC has written, because you find yourself agreeing with him sometimes and he makes it difficult to argue from a different perspective. The first time I read this scene I was convinced he was going to go with Valentine. The song is foreboding, it is anxious, and makes you think something bad is around the corner, which at this point in the book you feel like something bad is bound to happen

Simon is about to die on the back of Luke’s truck end of CoA-

- Wait - M83

This just perfectly conveys the grief and fear and guilt Clary feels when she thinks Simon is about to die. She brought him into this life, he turned into a vampire because of her, he was tortured by Valentine because of her and just as they saved him he is going to die. Its the loss of innocence and childhood for Clary. Simon is the last piece of it stripped away from her. First her mum, then her belief system in her whole world, then Luke, and now Simon. She is stripped all the way down to the bone of her identity and this scene is quick, but intense for this reason for me.

Clary and Jace meet up for lunch at the end of CoA -

- Distance - Christina Perri

This is such a sad song, and the sweetness of Christina Perri’s voice pairs beautifully in this scene with a feeling of a bittersweet kind of resigned acceptance. Clary had wanted so bad for Jace to let her go, she had convinced herself that her feelings weren’t that strong. And now here she is accepting her true feelings and ready to kind of wrap Jace around herself like a security blanket and he tells her exactly what she wanted to hear earlier. Except now she has to be a big girl and face her life without anyone holding her hand. She has to grow up and thats what makes this scene so sad, this is Clary realising its time to grow up.

Clary and Jace find Ithuriel in CoG -

- Goodbye Godric - Nathan Barr

This song was always ethereal and otherworldly, the notes are awe inspiring and convey this grief that is so abstract and not individualistic, it is beyond the human experience. Clary and Jace’s complete altruism and empathy in this scene matches with the grieving tones, how helpless they feel at this beautiful creatures pain, and how much they want to do something but they don’t know what. Then Ithuriel shows them visions and its even worse than they imagined. The misery that exists in these walls caused by Valentine, the waste of energy and life and soul is amplified by the music. The music soars as Ithuriel is set free, and the manor home crumbles.

Clary and Jace make out session outside the newly ruined Wayland Manor CoG -

- Maybe Tomorrow - Stereophonics

This wild abandon kissing perfectly matches the mood and pace of this song. Its all over the place, its messy, its confusing. Its giving into pure passion. Its abandoning any pretences they have built up and watching reality crash back down on them.

Isabelle wants Simon to distract her after Max dies in CoG -

- Not Everything Was Better In The Past - Fink

This is such a tenderly played song, and is easy on the ears, but there is a rawness there. Isabelle is completely stripped away, raw grief and anger and guilt eating away at her. When she lets Simon in she is ferocious and wants to show him her toughness. But Simon sees through it all to a scared young girl who is lost in this sea of grief. Its a sweet Sizzy moment

Jace telling Clary he loves her for the first time in CoG -

- Leave a Light On (ACOUSTIC) - Tom Walker

Jace shouldering the responsibility of finding Valentine by himself, essentially sacrificing himself to the cause, hes grief stricken, and yet feels barred from that grief. I know we experienced this scene from Clary’s POV but this song works so well from his POV. He wants to tell the girl he loves how he feels, he wants one night with her to feel normal and feel loved, and to pretend just for a little while that there is nothing wrong with that. This very stripped version of the song is much much much more raw, and that’s what Jace feels like in this scene, all the walls are down and he wants to show his real face to this one girl

Clary showing off her rune skills in the council chamber in CoG -

- I Found - Amber Run

This was the first scene I imagined from a filmmaking perspective, how to best present this scene. I imagined this entire scene from Jocelyn’s POV, frame by frame, as she walks into the council room very quietly and watches her baby walk up and address everyone in desperation, voice shaking but standing her ground. Grown, bigoted, adults judging her and are fearful but she is still showing them what she’s worth. I imagined Jocelyn’s entire world view shifting because she is in awe of this powerful girl Clary has become. She watches her daughter no longer as a little girl but as a formidable Shadowhunter that could handle the cards she had been dealt in life. Just a very transformative moment and pivotal in how we see Clary in the TSC universe

Lilith takes over Jace’s mind and disappears with Sebastian at the end of CoFA-

- I’ll Keep Coming - Low Roar

This song starts out so uneasy, it cant settle down, and that’s exactly how I feel when Jace sends Clary downstairs. I want to scream at her to stay, but knowing Lilith would always take over no matter what. Its a very dark moment, because no one wants to lose control of themselves and it must have been pretty scary at first. Its an anxious scene, paired with an anxious song

Magnus takes happy memories away in CoLS -

- Howl - Jake Houlsby

Magnus is looking very sad when he does this, especially what he says to Simon. Its such a knowing look, Magnus is no stranger to this kind of sorrow, but still to be witness to it over and over must take its toll. It just makes me think of the endless road stretching out ahead of him and how lonely and terrifying that must feel for him. Just a beautiful song to go with a sad moment in this scene

Clary at the Faerie club with Jace and Sebastian CoLS -

- Faded - Alan Walker

- Darkside - Alan Walker

At this point in the story you feel a lot like Clary is getting too comfortable and is maybe losing sight of the mission she’s on. These two songs are very club sounding to me, and tonally fits the mood of the chapter. Clary is quite literally lost in that moment with the Faerie drugs and the dancing and the atmosphere

Clary dancing with Sebastian CoLS -

- Daddy Issues - The Neighbourhood

First of all lyrically….it cannot get more perfect. “Go ahead and cry little girl nobody does it like you do, I know that you got daddy issues. And if you were my little girl, Id do whatever I could do…” it just conveys the creepiness of Sebastians interactions with Clary and how weird she felt when he was dancing with her and how wrong it felt. This is a very short moment in this chapter but it really creeped me out. And this song conveys perfectly this feeling of haziness of the Faerie drugs and this uneasiness that surrounds Sebastian

Simon drinks from Isabelle CoLS -

- Harvest Love - Tash Sultana

This is a pretty soulful, sensual song. And when Simon drinks from Isabelle and he describes the euphoria that comes with that, the description of how his nerves react to the fresh blood just remind me of the part in this song where the drums and music soars the highest (start around 3:32, and it reaches its peak around 4:48) its honestly one of the sexiest scenes CC has written, even including all the Jemma scenes

Magnus and Alec break up in CoLS -

- Evergreen - Ben Howard

First time reading this I was so so angry at Alec, and felt the sorrow and anger coming off Magnus. This song is very dark, and very sinister. Magnus completely misunderstood what Alec was trying to do, and applied the most sinister meaning to his actions. It is their perfect breakup song imo full of angst

Clary traps the Heavenly Fire into her sword in CoHF -

- Outro - M83

This is another scene I imagined cinematically. The first half of the song is where Clary slowly makes her way over to Jace and she suddenly has faith in herself that she can do this. Then we watch her take Jace’s hands as the radioactive wind sounds start and the flames are swirling around them but not touching them. Cut to Magnus and Luke seeing the colour on the horizon, and the flash that shows its over. Cut back to Clary drawing the Heavenly Fire into the sword as the music swells around her. The words are so so powerful, and they always felt very ethereal to me “I’m the King of my own land” This is Clary fully embracing her power and fully utilising it. Its no longer something separate from her, but she IS her power.

Clary killing Sebastian, pretty much a lot of the scenes before the time jump CoHF-

- Saturn (both acoustic and original version) - Sleeping At Last

This song is definitely an end of film/book / end of heroes journey material. Simon sacrificing himself so they can get back, Clary killing Sebastian and forgiving him, Clary scattering the ashes of Sebastian and finally grieving the past years trauma (all of the TMI journey), the Faeries being condemned by the Clave and Helen getting exiled. Its beautiful, its sad, its momentous, its not a regular song.

Alec finds Magnus in Edom in CoHF -

- I Of The Storm - Of Monsters and Men

The steady drum beat adds a sense of steadiness and calmness in this song. Its not a joyful getting back together but they’re both glad the other is alive and are both forgiving each other. For me, this is when I truly started shipping Malec. The growth, the strength of character begins from this moment. This is when they become a couple I love because this is when they commit to each other flaws and all

Isabelle introduces herself to Simon at the end of CoHF -

- Golden Dandelions - Barns Courtney

Isabelle has always felt like a full punch character, no half measures and all that. The feeling Simon describes when he first spots this beautiful girl walking directly up to him is how this song starts, for me at least. The drums, the barely contained excitement, the curiosity, and faint recognition. This song is a full punch song right from the get go and it felt like such a remarkable Isabelle moment

After Jocelyn & Luke’s wedding in COHF -

- From Gold - Novo Amor

It is such a bittersweet, and peaceful song. There are so many endings in this scene, and so many new beginnings. They are all grieving, one way or another, and are all allowing themselves to evolve. Their journey is over, and at the end of this book I had this sense of saying goodbye to these characters (retiring them so to speak) because I wasn’t sure how much they would be involved with the future of the TSC world. Im glad they are still a big part of it, but they will never be the main focus again.

TDA:

Julian and Emma dance in LM -

- Give Me Love - Ed Sheeran

The sexual tension, and the dread they both feel because of their feelings just makes this scene so dramatic to me, and this song softens it a little. Especially if you are re-reading the series you feel this tenderness because they so badly wanted to avoid falling in love

Mark and Kieran in the Hunt -

- Dance Me To The End of Love - The Civil Wars

This is a pretty offbeat quirky song, a little sad, a little wistful, a little mournful, sensual, but tones of wildly abandoning all you know and giving into baser desires. Whenever Mark thinks of his time with Kieran in the Hunt, his memories sound like this song. They experienced very high highs, and very low lows. They were degraded, the lowest you could possibly feel as a living creature. Yet they were riding into the night, sleeping under the stars in places only known to Faeries. There was no one watching them, and no one to stop them from being together. There is tenderness in their relationship, but also knowledge that they are only together because they have no one else. Its happiness without truly feeling like you have a choice about it. You have to be happy together because you cant find this happiness elsewhere. They are forced into being in love a little bit, because the alternative is so much worse. This is one of the reasons why I couldn’t ship them at first, because they hadnt really chosen each other. Only when they were presented with other options and they till chose each other did I start seeing their potential.

Julian and Emma on the beach LM -

- Next To You - Of Rust & Bone

This scene completely took me by surprise, and is very unlike CC because love scenes normally take place quite late into any series she has. This one was filled with anxiety, and tension because the characters quite literally fell into their feelings. There was no forethought, no sense of taking stock of what they were doing. And they ended up feeling such different things about it afterwards. So for me this songs darker moods perfectly pairs with this scene

Kieran and Mark argue/break up LM & LoS -

- Fade Away - Tom Walker

This song has such raw power, such dark emotion and anger and a sense of betrayal that it perfectly captures their emotionally charged scenes. Mark can never be the same Mark that belonged to Kieran when he had no one, because now he has his family. And Kieran is still the same man who has no one but Mark. I hated him the first time I read LM and most of LoS but their chemistry is hard to resist. Especially as they evolve as characters as well as a couple. They are wild and unmoored sometimes and there’s something exciting about characters you just cant pin down.

Emma & Jules’ strained relationship LM & LoS -

- 9 Crimes - Damian Rice

When Emma is “with” Mark there is this strange chemistry between her and Julian. Both have hurt each other at different times, but this was really like a stalemate. Neither could really move on, and both were angry at eachother. As more and more people found out/realised about the feelings they had were more than parabatai this tension grew. Because they’re not just falling in love, they are also actively choosing to hurt one another. They are certainly not an example of a healthy relationship but I felt in some way they were the realest. Because sometimes relationships hurt and sometimes you do things you have to do even if that isnt what’s best for your relationship. This song perfectly captures this push and pull they have, and how falling in love wasn’t blissful happiness for them. It was pain and secrets and hurting.

Annabel rising, killing Malcolm LoS -

- As It Was - Hozier

Since we’re watching this scene from above, a very unnatural and cinematic perspective, the scene feels unreal. Like it was a dream and didn’t happen. I felt genuine fear and uneasiness when Annabel is slowly brought back to life, skin growing over old bones. This song has notes that aren’t usually arranged together, instruments that are usually a bigger part of a quartet, and somehow that arrangement feels just a little wrong. It feels different, sinister, and uneasy. It feels like its missing several instruments, or some notes have been played incorrectly. Hozier’s voice is his best in this song, very strained, but so controlled, bringing forth very intense emotions

Christina and Mark at the revel LoS (I couldn’t remember if this was in LoS or QOAAD) -

- Now You’re Gone - Tom Walker & Zara Larsson

Christina really let herself go during this scene, and we see a completely different side to her. She is adventurous, risky, and she would make anyone say “fuck it lets do this” I always liked Christina but I always felt she was very predictable until this point. We see how intensely she is interested in Faeries, and how personally invested she is in their culture. She allows herself to be swept up, and embraces it rather than fears it. She honestly seems fearless here, and is the definition of temptation. She is quite literally tempting Mark, and its sexy a f

Jules & Emma burn down the church LoS -

- Esmeralda - Ben Howard

This was the first time their relationship excited me, because during this scene I fully expected they would go into full thirst mode but they didn’t. They were still very sensual and sexual and intense, but in a very very different way. There is something attractive about someone who’s willing to burn the world down, who has a little bit of an anarchist side. Its human nature to feel some attraction to these traits, and this scene definitely stirred feelings in me

Emma fights Fal LoS -

- Put It On Me - Matt Maeson

This song both tonally and in its pacing elevates this scene to new levels. Its not a typical battle song, it has a steady pace. But Emma’s description of how the battle is stripped down because of the rain, how she prefers this kind of fight where its her, her weapon and the elements. Its pure, and we get to see Emma in full fighter mode. She is an extension of Cortana, and they belong together. This is without a doubt my favourite fight scene to date. It just brings alive the visuals in such a dynamic way. Very storyboard-able.

Julian holding Livvy as she dies LoS -

- Losing Your Memory - Ryan Star

This song is harrowing, and its just pure pain, raw grief balled into one intense song. The lyrics just pull you into Julian’s mental state “wake up, its time, little girl, wake up” just kills me. As the music intensifies and the singer is practically screaming the lyrics it just feels like that’s what it must have been like inside of Julian’s mind. He wasn’t screaming out loud but his mind must have been very loud

Julian and Emma shower together QOAAD -

- Promise - Ben Howard

Julian dry heaving because he doesnt know how to cry. Fucking heartbreaking in a very quiet way. After the noise of loss, the quiet moments where you have to face grief is devastating. Emma being an anchor, holding him in place and trying to keep the world away from him so he doesnt hurt anymore is just harrowing. They’re just kids but the grief they feel is so adult. And when you lose someone like that, and someone is there for you that solidifies so much in that relationship. They become a part of something you can never let go of. Even if that relationship doesnt last, they will always be apart of that memory. And Emma sticking by him, despite the danger and promises they have made themselves is proof that she is the one for him

Kieran and Christina dance QOAAD -

- Senorita - Shawn Mendes & Camilla Cabello

This song is sensual, its sexual, its got hooks that quite literally sound like orgasms its such a playful song. When I read this scene this song popped in my head right away. When Christina is dancing with Mark its the same kind of feeling I got from her at the revel, except this time there is no supernatural influence, its just her and her feelings. It was a sexy scene, and when Kieran walks in we all expected something very different. What followed is what elevates this scene, Christina has no clue how to react to Kieran, and yet she is mesmerised by him. She dances with him in a way we would never have imagined her doing this in LM. It shows evolution of character, for all three of them. And the fact that Mark is watching, and he’s not angry just makes this scene even sexier. You can practically feel the sexual tension in the air coming off the pages of the book.

Malec wedding QOAAD -

- That Girl Is You - Dave Matthews Band

This song brings me so much peace, the kind of peace that comes with knowing someone for years, and relying on them, knowing they are a permanent fixture in your life. Its exciting, but in a quiet way. Its a very atypical wedding song, because of the unusual style of singing. But I think it represents Malec really well at this point in their journey, they have gotten over many obstacles, often themselves, in this relationship. Their entire world is changing, and they are taking massive steps and making some pretty big sacrifices as people for this cause. Being Consul isnt going to be a smooth life for Alec with Magnus as a husband and a warlock for a child. But this is what he wants, and this is what he wants Shadowhunters to reflect and be going forward. This song is a very peaceful time in the entirety of TSC, and gave me a similar feeling to the end of TMI

[lovelessmotel]

madney waitress au!! (also buddie au where they’re playing linked roles in a musical? could be rivals or love interests or whatever tickles your fancy 👀)

wow,,,u get me

madney waitress au!!! oh boy!!

1. maddies a waitress in her hometown, married to her shitty husband doug and she works at the diner with her brother and her friend josh (the diners owned by eddie) and everythings okay until she gets pregnant

2. cue going to the doctor and its some new guy, some howard han and man isnt he annoying and, sort of handsome and hes very sweet to her and isnt THAT all confusing!! (the pie she baked is for her OLD doctor btw...she still lets howie have it tho)

3. maddies planning on wining a baking contest to use the money to get the hell outta here but things sort of go wrong (thanks doug) and also theres the issue of totally falling for her doctor (and,,,accidentally making out with him)

4. josh is incredibly neurotic and dating scares the shit out of him because “what if when i see this guy hes weird? or eats oreos but the cookie BEFORE the cream? or hes a criminal?? HA CHECK AND MATE!” but truthfully hes just scared of falling for someone and getting his heart broken

5. maddie comes in one day to find buck and eddie going at it and shes scandalized but buck reminds her see cant say much since shes having an affair with her GYNO. and bucks like “listen he makes me happy so maybe you need to figure out what makes you happy too.”

AND THEN BUDDIE MUSICAL AU!!! OKAY!!! community theatre rivals to lovers au??

1. its bucks prided secret but in his free hours, he likes doing theatre. sue him, it blows off steam and he gets to be the center of attention. LA has some bomb community theatre and he loves working with kids and also performing is dope!

2. so hes a shoe in for the lead that year except this dude named eddie shows up at this audition because “my kid likes this show so i thought id try out for it” and of course handsome crooning dancing stupid eddie gets the part over buck, and they ask buck to direct instead.

3. buck loves that he still gets to do stuff with the adults and the kids so hes not MAD....he just wants to punch eddie in his pretty and perfect face is all.

4. buck is jealous up until the moment he realizes that oh...eddie is very nice. and sweet. and handsome. and very funny. and oh so talented and oh shit buck has a crush on who he thought was his rival

5. cue hours and hours of pining (that buck THINKS is one sided) until opening night when buck gets a bunch of flowers from a ‘secret admirer’ but like...we all know who it is :))))

[freeshavacado]

My thoughts while reading Gone by Michael Grant:

* wait how old is Sam

* He do be liking Astrid doe

* Damn so Sam is a Leader

* Ew Orc is an 8th grader? 🤮

* Ok I googled it Sam is 14

* I like Quinn

* Sam thinks he’s so awkward but he’s actually really chill so far

* THE PAIN THIS GIRL IS GOING THROUGH OH MY GOD

* Poor Mary :(

* Howard’s a bitch

* Cut to Quinn being a racist motherfucker

* I love Edilio

* Sam is WHIPPED for Astrid

* Orc is such a piece of shiiiiiit

* LANAAAAA :(((

* Poor thing is in so much pain

* Patrick her dog is alive so that’s good

* She’s deadass slowly dying

* Thank god her arm is better

* I want to make this into a TV series

* If Sam and Astrid don’t kiss at some point I swear

* Hahahaha Sam do be shirtless rn

* Why isn’t Astrid happy to see Little Pete???

* MARY. IF YOU POUR HOT ASS COFFEE ON A CHILD, DONT JUST STAND THERE AND THEN RUN AWAY. PUT COLD WATER ON THE BURN

* Aw Mary has had bulimia since she was ten :(

* Ok so what she just took her Prozac and then threw up? Wouldn’t the pill go up too? I think your stomach/body needs like 30 minutes to absorb it into the blood stream...

* HELP SAM HES CHOKING

* Bruh my ass would be so exhausted

* Quinn low key an ass tho

* Lol edilio isn’t standing for this bullshit

* Lmaooo Astrid knew 💀

* Omg little Pete has it too

* Wow Quinn is an asshole pt 2

* I feel like Caine is gonna be a villain...like he’s pretty AND nice? Nah bro too good to be true

* Fucking Orc god 😒😒😒

* Caine is up to some shit 🤨

* Lmao hold up

* Diana probably whipped tho

* Sam please only be a simp for Astrid 😩

* I bet Drake is hot

* Aww computer Jack :) DONT YOU TURN ON ME SON

* “The captain is already maintaining” Bullshit 💀

* Are they really gonna call this eighth grader ‘Captain’?

* LMAOOO THE BASTARD CANT EVEN READ OR WRITE 💀💀💀

* Lol making Sam the fire chief because he was brave enough to go into a fire one time, so therefore he is the most qualified

* Bruh that’s like if I gave a kid the Heimlich maneuver bc he was choking on a gummy worm or some shit and they were like “Well because she did that, she should be the head doctor!!!”

* CAINE IS FULL OF SUCH BULLSHIT OML

* PRETENDING TO CRY N SHIT GOD

* I already know that Diana is gonna try and seduce Sam while she’s actually a spy for the private school kids

* Which, btw, of course it’s the private school kids smh

* I feel like maybe Computer Jack will be someone who eventually switches to the Good Side

* ALSO wow jack really be thinking that he’s smarter than Astrid smh 🙄

* Jack is such a smartsass

* Diana is such a fucking bitch oh my god 😒😒😒

* “You don’t look tough, Astrid” STFU SHES THE TOUGHEST OF THEM ALL

* Ok but I bet Diana and Astrid low key have sexual tension. Like obviously nothing’s gonna happen...but still

* Bruh I hate Caine

* Fuckin Diana with her ‘readings’ bullshit smh

* YESSSS LANA 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 so strong

* Literally how do they not know how to make pasta

* “I thought your people ate tortillas,” QUINN YOU RACIST PEICE OF SHIT UGH

* Poor Bette :(

* Orc is a piece of shit, I know we’ve already established this but I wanted to say it again

* I love Edilio so much

* Orc really using a slur against Edilio huh. Imma kill him

* IM SO DONE WITH QUINN. THIS BITCH REALLY JUST SAID “let him have her” LIKE TF????

* Drake is such a bastard oh my god

* If you hate Quinn and you know it clap your hands 👏🏻👏🏻

* No seriously. I fucking hate him.

* Nooooo Bette died :((

* “I can’t kiss you with your little brother watching” AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

* Did they kiss or not wtf

* What the hell is up with this cat

* Ah so they did kiss!!

* Why didn’t I get details 🤨

* No a baby died 😞

* Quinn s u c k s

* How convenient that Sam got there *right* before Emma disappeared

* Those last 6 minutes before Anna disappeared too and was calling out to her sister, and so for what she thought was her last few minutes on earth she held sams hand :(

* Lol Diana sucks

* ‘WoRDs DONT sCArE mE’ shut up Drake

* Okay Computer Jack is definitely going to betray them because they underestimate him and take him for granted

* You’re telling me Caine and Sam could be TWINS???

* Why was the kiss ‘a mistake’ ?

* Okay NOW they’re awkward

* “But it was the first time I meant it” I CANT. ITS SO CHEESY

* I HATE QUINN

* These kids are crazy violent

* Fuck Diana

* Yikes now Sam only has some of his eyebrows left 😬

* Caine is in love with Diana 👀

* Little Pete might be more powerful than Caine 😛

* THESE KIDS ARE CRAZY LIKE CHILL

* Diana: I really dislike you Astrid: of course you dislike me, I make you feel inferior

* ROASTED ^

* Mmmm Quinn is trying to redeem himself

* “Don’t call me brah. I’m not your brother” OHHHHHHHHHHH HE REALLY WENT THERE

* that’s what you get for being a backstabbing asshole

* Poor Astrid :(

* Poor Little Pete :(

* Bro I need this to be a movie

* I love that Sam just punched Quinn like we had no choice but to stan

* Ok drake would definitely shoot up a school

* Fuck Drake

* Lana is so strong. Like she’s been in so much pain physically and mentally, and she almost died. But she saved herself and now even though she thinks she might be the only person left alive on earth, she is still keeping strong.

* What happens if the boat runs out of gas?

* Bruh these coyotes don’t give up

* THE COYOTES AGAIN??

* “Go out” “You’ll kill me,” “Yes. Go out, die fast. Stay, die slow”

* Wowwwwwwwwwww^

* Lmaooo “L.P.”

* Awwww Sam: “...she was still so beautiful that sometimes he had to look away.”

* Okay he a lil’ horny

* Awe Astrid and Sam hugging I’m soft 🥺

* I’m so sick of these damn coyotes

* Bruh these coyotes 😒

* Diana is annoying

* Literally can’t remember who Andrew is, but they’re about to film his passing away like wtf

* Poor Andrew :(

* “You’re a deep sleeper, Jack. Just now, while you were sleeping? I held your pudgy little hand. Probably as close as you’ll ever get to holding hands with a girl. Assuming you even like girls.” FUCK YOU DIANA

* Okay so Diana will protect Jack as long as he ‘belongs’ to her and does what ever she wants? That’s pretty sus

* Sam and Astrid kissed again 😖☺️

* Lmaooo Albert over here running McDonald’s

* Salads disappeared quickly from the McDonald’s menu since this whole thing? Who the hell orders a salad from McDonald’s?

* So Albert kinda whipped for Mary 👀

* I haaaaatttteeee the private school kids

* Y’know what depending on where I was and who I was with in this situation, I might’ve just killed myself

* “Remember who owns you” ew 🤨

* Diana. I hate you

* Bro I feel bad for Andrew

* How is Lana back at the cabin?

* That IS Lana right??

* Okay things are moving fast between Sam and Astrid. Like she’s already saying “I just want you here with me. Safe” like 🤢

* Lana, about Sam: your boyfriend? Astrid: ThAts nOt WhAt iTs AbouT

* LMAOO AFTER SHE SAID THAT SHE SAID IN A LOW VOICE “kind of” WHAT

* Lol Lana be out here like “yeah shits crazy. Get with the program”

* Ew they’re eating pudding with their hands 🤮

* I don’t care how hungry you are, that’s gross

* Like get a spoon or something

* Lana just called Astrid “smart girl Barbie” 🤨

* Part of me is like “lol” but the other part of me is like “bruh stop Astrid did nothing wrong”

* I still hate Quinn but he is kind of funny

* Lana calling Astrid “the blonde” like girl 😑

* Bruh you’re stuck in a house that is literally on fire and getting hotter by the second as it fills with smoke, now is not the time to be kissing Astrid

* Finally the damn coyotes are gone.

* Sam is so angry and he’s disgusted with himself for being so angry, I relate

* Fuck you, Quinn

* Fuck drake

* I would gladly kill Drake

* OOOOOOOOO EDILIO LIKES LANA AHHHHHH

* SIMP

* omg I love it 😩

* Lmaooooo Sams speech wow

* Sam you should NOT forgive Quinn. Especially not that fast. Yikes.

* Orc should feel bad for killing Bette. I have no pity for him rn

* Yes please kill drake.

* I am so happy that his arm is on fire. 100% he deserves to feel that pain

* Aww that’s kinda nice that Albert is planning thanksgiving dinner for everyone

* DAMMIT DRAKE

* I hate drake so much like dude just shut up and leave everyone alone

* Orc oh my god I could not be rolling my eyes harder right now

* Tbh if Orc and his other friends die, I’m okay with that

* What tf is up with this DVD

* Little Pete caused all of this??? 😦

* I’m sooooo sick of this whole darkness and coyote stuff istg

* Where is Patrick?????

* If Patrick is dead imma throw hands

* Diana is such an evil person. Like Drake is a monster, but she’s horrible in a different way.

* Also ughhhhhhhhhh Drake is back 😒😒😒😒😒 so sick of that mf

* “So. When do we go take down Sam Temple?” 🙄🙄🙄 no one likes you Drake

* AHAHAHHSJAHSHSHHSHD

* SAM JUST TOLD ASTRID HE LOVED HER

* AND SHE SAID IT BACK

* IM. S O F T

* (like my brain is still saying “y’all have talked for less than two weeks and you’re 14”)

* But like whatever 😭❤️

* My eyes just rolled into the back of my skull once Diana appeared

* Taylor low key flirting with Sam tho 👀

* When I first met Dekka, I was all: ‘what the hecka?’

* THOSE DAMN COYOTES

* I’m crying because Quinn couldn’t kill Drake because he was scared, and now children are screaming. Ugh I really wanted him to kill Drake but I understand that killing someone is a crazy thing to have on your conscience

* Call me cold hearted, but I would’ve shot him

* This is all in theory of course ^ I bet if I was in that situation though it wouldn’t be as easy as “just shoot him”

* I don’t think I’ve ever been more annoyed with a fictional character than I am with Drake rn

* Yooo I bet Isabella has some animal powers or sumn

* Caine 🙄🙄🙄 like that emoji doesn’t even come close to describing how annoyed I am

* Wait so is Patrick back now or...?

* Caine really just. Kissed Diana. Because she “owed him”????

* THIS IS SOME BULLSHIT

* I literally hate sooooooooo many characters in this book ugh 😒😒😒

* Quinn is watching Drake kill Sam and is doing nothing. I’m so done with this piece of shit

* Ok finally he tried to shoot him

* “You know it always gets me hot when you say ‘apt analogy.’” “Why do you think I do it?”

* Y’all 🥴🥴🥴

* THOSE DAMN COYOTES

* Literally? Imagine being this heartless. Giving up hundreds of kids to coyotes without hesitation. The hate I have for Caine is real

* Once again, Orc feeling bad for what he did to Bette. And honestly? I’m still okay with that

* This kid is an a l c o h o l i c

* Computer Jack is so annoying like dude stop holding on to Sams leg. Literally

* Still hate Diana, but I like that she’s helping out Sam a little bit

* Ew Diana just kissed Sam on the corner of his mouth 🤢

* I TOLD YALL ^^^

* Yay Patrick is alive :)

* “I guess we won,” Sam said. “Yeah,” Edilio agreed. “I’ll get the backhoe. Got a lot of holes to dig.”

* ^im. Depressed

* I cannot for the life of me remember who Cookie is

* “Orc sat with Howard in a corner by themselves. Orc had fought Drake to a standstill. But no one-least of all Orc-had forgotten Bette.”

* ^good.

* Y’all Sam and Astrid flirting I- 🥴🥴

* We love to see it ^

* Awww “we’re going to the beach” y’all Astrid and Sam are so cute

* THOSE DAMN COYOTES

* FUCK. Goddamn this cliffhanger 😡

[gaypanda]

Not Even Sunflowers Can Grown In Our Toxic Love Pt.10

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Tony Stark

Word Count: 1k

Warnings: Non

Summery: It’s October in 1995, Tony Stark is 24. All he need is coffee and his lab. Then he meets Steve Rogers an artist. They fall in love. They face the world together. Yet, sunflowers can’t grow in their love, but that’s okay morning glory can. That should be enough.

A/N: Hello, Humans. I’m alive!!!! I have been working on my mental health. I still am. This will led to me not being able to update often.

Chapter 10: A Spiral Of Love 

Tony tried to stay away from the arm, he really did. He stopped talking to Oliver and going to the medical R&D labs. Tony started working more on his AI in his own lab. Only find himself back with Oliver talking about the arm. They had everything they needed, except for Bucky. Tony was swept up in the arm actually starting tests. Before he knew it he was helping Oliver connect the arm to Bucky. 

“Okay Bucky once I finish connecting this we are going to run some tests.” Tony said clipping the straps that would hold the arm to Bucky’s body together. “Ready to start the tests?” 

Bucky only nod. “Okay I want you to raise the arm.” Tony said. Bucky did only the arm went way to fast and ended up backwards. Tony couldn’t hold back his laugh.

“Why are you laughing?” Bucky asked. “ The arm didn’t do what I wanted.”

“Dude the arm works! That’s why I’m laughing! You moved that arm with your mind and that’s all. Don’t you see how amazing that is? There was a 50% chance that it wouldn’t even move. That is amazing!” Tony exclaimed.

“What do you mean that there was a chance that the arm wouldn’t work? You told me the arm was in working order.” Buck said his face laced with concern. He kept looking between Tony and the arm.

“ I told you that we would need to test it out on someone without an arm, because everyone in the lab has both.” Tony smiled, “ Now all we have to do is celebrate it so it will be what you want a little slow. Then the rest is up to you working with the arm to get it to do what you need.” 

Tony worked on changing the calibrations when Howard walked in. Tony wrapped up in the fixing the arm didn’t notice his father. 

“Tony,” Howard ground out,” I heard that you were working in medical. I must say I was surprised that you want to do something for someone else. Then I heard that you were close to making working prosthetics, not only that you were do a live test today.” Howard looked down at Tony. Tony wasn’t sure what Howard was getting to. He felt that he was mad that tony was doing something that he couldn't do, or if he is happy that there is a new thing that could get him money. 

“Medical is in need of a supervisor. That is what you are now. You seem to like doing this, so now you are running it.” Howard said. And like that Tony felt like he was falling. How was he supposed to tell Steve that he was now working in the same place that he wasn’t supposed to be. Tony hoped that Steve would understand and not be upset. Tony did see a small upside he was still working on his arm.

Tony stumbled into his apartment late at night. Pepper texted him to remind him to eat. Signing Tony went into the kitchen to grab a small meal before he cashed. He found leftover chinese that he hadn’t ordered. That ment Pepper was here earlier. Grabbing the chow main and orange chicken out of the fridge not bothering to heat it up. Standing over his kitchen sink as he eats Tony cant help but think about how he was going to tell Steve that not only is he required to work on the Arm, but also now head of R&D medical. Maybe he should just have him over for a nice dinner. He could make his mother alfredo and apple pie for desert. With his plain made and food Tony went up the stairs and crashed.

Tony was halfway through his day when he remembered that he needed to text Steve about dinner.

Me: Hey love do you want to have dinner tonight? My place?

Love: Hey Tones. I would love to do dinner. I will be around 6?

Me: sounds good. I Love You.

Love: Love You too.

Tony couldn’t help but smile every time Steve told him he loved him. He was in his private lab working on the AI program that he is making. Looking at the time and seeing that it was 3:13 Needing to buy stuff for dinner Tony left his lab with a smile.

When he got home bags in hand. Tony put everything in the kitchen and turned on the radio and started on dinner. He was dancing around the kitchen in his socks, as his sauce cooked. He used his spoon as a microphone and Tony signed out the lyrics. He tried his alfredo sauce and found it needed more pepper. As he got on his tallest tip toes, Can’t Help Falling In Love With You, started. His shirt was riding up when he felt cold hands land on his hips. Scared Tony turned and jumped around only to find Steve looking down at him. It was times like this in the year that they had been dating that Tony really noticed how much taller Steve was then him. He could be in Peppers highest heels and just barely met Steve’s height. 

Behind him Steve was moving the alfredo off the burner and pulling Tony into the center of the kitchen. Tony laid his head on Steve’s chest listening to him sing about falling in love and how he just couldn’t help it. Closing his eyes he thought about what he needed to tell Steve. Not wanting to ruin the moment he just kept quiet and let Steve hold him. 

When the song ends Tony opens his eyes, “ My Dad put me in charge of R&D medical and the arm that I was working on for Bucky.” Tony whispers into Steve’s chest scared of his reaction.

“Tony that’s great!!!” Steve says excitedly,” I’m proud of you, you deserve it. I love you!” He leans down and kisses Tony.

“ I love you too” Tony says against Steve’s lip. He can feel their smile on his lips. Steve puts his hands on Tony’s thighs. With a jump Tony’s legs are wrapped around Steve, and is being carried off to his bed. Dinner never crossing his mind. 

[normal-thoughts-official]

Magnus in the 70s

Because i fucking want to think about that

Ok so in the 70s magnus was already in New York but he had to have been going to the UK frequently because he canonically hooked up with Freddie Mercury (how fucking great is that). That had to have been around the 70s cuz in the 80s Freddie met Jim Hutton (his husband with whom he stayed for the rest of his life)

And listen. Listen. There is. So Much to say about that. Like so much.

I mean, 70s Freddie was so much like magnus?????? with his painted nails and puffy sleeves and his tops that were originally designed to be wedding dresses? With his fear of not being loved and his insecurities despite being so glamorous and powerful? Like..... Imagine that relationship

You cant tell me that magnus didnt inspire Freddie in his clothes and mannerisms. You just cant

And anyway if magnus was travelling around to go to multiple Queen concerts and dragging dot along (god can you believe this is all canon) up until he somehow hooked up with Freddie he had to have been a Queen stan. Bitch im thriving so much

Which makes a lot of sense because the 70s were the peak of Glam Rock, all these androgynous and feminine-looking guys with long hair and makeup and painted nails making good ass music? Of course magnus was into that. And queen was peak glam rock

Magnus absolutely losing his mind to the sound of killer queen

Magnus' current favorite song in the 70s being Somebody To Love because i mean..... come on. an absolute bop, and it's so relatable to magnus, who was constantly scared of being alone, who was taught most of his life that he was destined to be left by those he loves. I mean i dont want to make this sad but theres something extremely healing for him to hear this song that sums up his fears so well and is sad but is also a bop and has kinda hopeful vibes and is so filled with energy. He lowkey cried when they played it in concerts but he also smiled brightly as he hugged dot and the both of them would stay like that singing their voices out (im unsure if they were together at this point but i mean probably not since magnus is very monogamous and he was hooking up with someone else. either way it doesnt matter because dot is one of his best friends and they love each other and that's all that matters)

Magnus Bane. WOULD. perform Good Old Fashioned Lover Boy in his living room, absolutely over the top, with some intricate swooning and dipping and eyelash batting, maybe even using magic to make a few sparks at determining moments (one two three four five six seven eight nine o'clock). just looking straight out of a 50s romantic movie. FREQUENTLY. and he still does. once alec walked in on him doing that and just stayed still, watching, trying not to disturb him and feeling his heart swell with just how much he loves magnus

Speaking of performances, the 70s? Drag balls? The queer community absolutely thriving? Yeah, Magnus was having the time of his life with all of that. Magnus would be going around, frequenting queer bars, meeting and inspiring thousands of people, lowkey adopting all gnc and questioning ppl he could find and helping them come to terms with themselves

the stonewall riot???? was in new york. and if you think magnus bane wasnt there using his magic to keep people from being hit during the protest, and sabotaging the police, keeping his friends safe and helping the parade move foward, then well. you are wrong. you are so wrong its embarrasing. of course he was there, doing exactly that, and on most other protests too. you think he didnt join brenda howards bisexual alliance? didnt meet sylvia rivera? you fool. you absolute coward

so at that time, pandemonium? it was a gay bar. dont even try to change my mind, because you cant. magnus' club was the ultimate safe space for downworlder and queer youth, obviously overflowing with poc as was the queer scene in the 70s. he held drag balls in there. hed have a big line up of queer performers almost every night, and have tight security rules to ensure everyone's safety too. bonus points, he could keep the police away using wards so if you were to ever go to pandemonium you were guaranteed to have a good time

and - ok, this was in the 80s, but just, just hear me out - the drag performers in pandemonium were how magnus was introduced to one of the great loves of his life - Whitney Houston.

you cannot possibly tell me that magnus doesnt adore whitney houston. the drama? the theatrics? the sheer power of her voice? the upbeat songs and deeply felt lyrics? magnus eats that shit up. magnus listens to i wanna dance with somebody and dances and lipsyncs with a burning passion. magnus puts so emotional on and makes a dramatic kinda-ironic serenade to alec, who cant stop smiling. magnus puts his heels on and vogues to I'm every woman and hes good at it. magnus cries listening to the greatest love of all, but, much like somebody to love, its a song thats actually healing to listen to, to remind himself that he's not broken and deserves to be loved and to love himself. whitney houston makes magnus extremely happy in a very private, deep way. it helps him truly let loose

feel free to add more!

[thelovers-thedreamers-and-me]

so, fuck squad recap! i’m gonna put a quote from me at the end of the night at the beginning because yikes, shit is getting real.

“discourse and discord, that’s what i call d&d!”

Rhonia: “Fuck squid! The cake says fuck squid!” “You guys are never having a undersea adventure.”

Saida: “Creepy.” Sergei: “LISTEN HERE MS. TODD HOWARD” “Mrs. Todd Howard is the goal, I think.” Saida: “That man is the reason faces were invented.”

not to publicly kinkshame my players but hell here we are

yoni has been in the woods communing with desna and trying to start taming the shadow drake

Yoni: “This is Talon. I wanted to name him either Alfonzo or Taco but he didn’t like either.” “NO HE DIDN’T FOR SOME REASON”

Rhonia: “Fucking skeletons is illegal, owning them isn’t.” Maddela: “Is there a difference?!”

“Does anyone want to make a will save to disbelieve Zack’s pants?”

Yoni: “My channel energy means I can kill undead things so I don’t know if I like these skeletons.” “Oh, so now you care about being a cleric!”

Saida: “When they said yes were you holding their skull and making the jaw move?”

there was a whole big thing on the ethics of reanimating skeletons and using them as servants that never really got resolved

“Oh, finally, the fuck squad gets a moral compass.”

[discussing skeletons being withdrawn from human corpses] “They didn’t melt, it’s like, have you ever taken off a coat and thrown it on the floor behind you?” Sergei: “THAT’S NOT BETTER”

they temporarily stop discussing whether rhonia’s new skeleton army is moral in order to go to fantasy pawn stars to sell some stuff they stole from the haunted house

while selling the junk, both Rhonia and Saida rolled nat 20s for diplomacy checks

little did we know that unexpected natural 20s would be a theme of the night

Yoni: “Pleasure doing business with you, sir. Do I have to roll bluff?”

Sergei also got a horse figurine and Rhonia got shortswords for her skellingtons at the fantasy pawn stars- they ended up actually paying fantasy rick harrison twice for it

Yoni, on a blanket for Talon: “Can it have gold in it? It doesn’t need to have a ton. Also I’m rich.”

Rhonia: “Listen, everyone has skeletons, they’re perfectly natural!” Sergei: “Not when they’re walking around with all their skin off because they sloughed it off on the floor of the morgue!”

Rhonia: “They can’t be slaves if they never had free will.”

Sergei: “Liches cant be pets.” “Maybe certain liches are if they have very specific tastes.”

so down to the matter at hand- namely, going up north to where Scrom lives so Saida can visit! jasper finds them a travelling merchant friend of his named lachenta, and she agrees to take them up there for a small fee

Sergei: “Why are all of us going on Saida’s booty call?” Saida: “Never split the party?”

“Can we hook the skeletons up to the cart?”

Maddela: “Can we assume we’re in a world where the equator is to the south of us?” “blank stare” Saida: “Shut up, fake fantasy farmer’s almanac”

Saida: “He’s a shadow drake, he breathes shade” “Haaahhhhhhh, Saida this coat doesn’t go with those pants, you look like shit”

Yoni: “Never split the party! That’s why I’m in the air vents”

“She pulls up with two horses.” Sergei “Are they alive?”

Sergei rolls to make friends with the horses and does a phenomenal job

Saida: “Are we there yet?” “You’re not in the wagon yet.”

before he leaves, sergei gives reaper his harde and narder notebook, and takes Rhonia’s so they can stay in touch

yoni and saida, meanwhile, have been using their notebooks to just draw a bunch of dicks

Reaper uses the notebook to send Sergei a drawing of his own dick

“If you set the notebook on fire that’d be tinder”

Sergei “Is your pet super evil?” Yoni: “Uhhhhhhh, we’re working on that?”

Sergei: “Saida’s our problematic fave.” “Fave is a big word.”

“Roll animal handling to teach ethics to the drake”

on the last night of their journey, they’re sitting around a campfire with lachenta, telling stories, when a few people notice the sound of footfalls in the nearby brush, and a couple more notice a musty, almost metallic odor filling the air

sergei: WHO FARTED

they find themselves surrounded by orcs with glowing white eyes that, in the darkness, appear to have weird fleshy lumps on them. as they move into the firelight, it becomes apparent that those are mushrooms growing on them

Saida: “Rhonia, is this spread sexually?” Sergei: “How would Rhonia know?”

Saida: “Sergei started yelling about farts.” Sergei: “That was largely out of character.”

“I’m gonna say that sense motive is gonna have a heavy penalty because they’re just glowing pricks of light. Sergei: “Heh. Pricks.”

rhonia sets up a defensive line of skeletons, and they begin the battle. lachenta runs out to help, misses the orc she was fighting twice, and the orc rolls 2 goddamn natural 20s in a row and kills her. SO UH THERE GOES THAT BIT OF THE PLOT I HAD PLANNED

“Oh, I’m Rhonia, they’re half-orcs, half snack, I love that!” Sergei: “Aren’t all orcs half snack or is that just if you’re Saida?”

as they kill some of the orcs, some people have to roll fort saves.

maddela: “I.... rolled a 7.” “You feel fiiiine. No, really. Fiiiiiiine.”

speaking of saves, on one of the last orcs they have left to fight, maddela rolls a crit, which means i get to pull out something i’ve had in my pocket for a while. you see, in the haunted house, maddela got a dope new sword. and it turns out that the fuck squad is not great at perception checks that tell you that a sword is haunted, so up until maddela rolled a crit which triggered a similar effect to the song of discord spell, they had no idea

it was a pretty dope sword tho

so maddela and rhonia both attack the nearest people. rhonia goes after sergei, and maddela goes after yoni

and maddela rolls another crit, knocking yoni out and triggering another song of discord, and rhonia and sergei fail their saves

the orcs are now entirely off the table as the party attacks each other

“yelling what the fuck is a free action!”

saida rolls to non-lethal punch rhonia with the gauntlet of far-seeing since she saw rhonia attack sergei

Saida gets a crit on that, and uses the memory power to see Rhonia sitting in a large stadium tent, eating a candy apple, watching the circus, her mom lifting a ton of crazy shit, including pashmina, so that’s nice

rhonia then boneshakers saida, doing a ton of damage, and sergei kills another of rhonia’s skeletons

meanwhile, since she is no longer under the effects of the spell, Maddela heals Yoni and yoni immediately stabs her.

“I’m trying a new thing with gming where I make you face actual challenges!”

Yoni: “Maddela, I’m never gonna heal you.” “Oh, that’ll be a change.” “Hey, I almost know how it works now!”

Saida: “I don’t know about me, I got a bone to pick with Rhonia.” Sergei: Heh. Bone.”

saida: “If Scrom’s infected I swear to Christ I’m not dating any more.” Sergei: “Yeah, don’t fuck him if he’s got mushrooms on his dick.”

Sergei: “At least those horses are already my friends.”

Saida: “This is like that time we had to burn down that house with the guy in it.” “Had to is a pretty big word.” “I ROLLED REALLY BAD”

so the session ends with everyone mistrusting everyone else, the first new npc i made for this arc just completely fucking dead, and now i’ve gotta rewrite some shit because jesus christ

[tonystarkficrecs]

Hello! Can I request a fic ? Of yes, I was wondering if you knew any tony centric story with tony angst/whump and a lot of fluff ? Any pairing, I just want tony to be taken care of. Thank you and have a nice day ! Also thank you for this blog, I love it !

Thank you, I’m glad to hear you like the blog!!

Tony’s definitely been through a lot! I tried to keep this list down to fics with a fair balance between the fluff and angst (or else this would be stretching on for ages!) so hopefully these are along the lines of what you were looking for!

We’re All a Little Broken Inside by MonPetitTresor

★ ★ ★ ★ ★

Words: 150,394

Pairing: Loki/Tony Stark

Completed: Yes

Once, a long time ago, Tony had had a different family. One that he loved and that he thought loved him. All it took was one afternoon and too many secrets and that happy family he thought he had came tumbling down around him.

Now, two centuries later, he’s not the same terrified boy that was banished from his home. He’s made a new life for himself, a new family - albeit a small one - and for the most part, he’s happy. There are things he wants that he knows he’ll never have, but he’s always known that was the way it would be.

But now suddenly the new life that he’s built for himself is being invaded by his old one. Secrets that Tony had kept buried deep are coming to light and once more threatening to destroy everything he holds dear. Will he be able to weather the storm, or is he once more going to find himself suffering under the hands of those that once claimed to love him, cast out and forced to run? Or will he finally get a chance to actually be happy?

The One Left Stranded by somanyfeels

★ ★ ★ ★ ★

Words: 158,401

Pairing: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark

Completed: No

Six year old Tony Stark couldn’t do anything but watch as strangers break into his home and try to force their way into Howard’s workshop. When their plans failed they took Tony with them and hoped he was worth something.

Gone by nonna

★ ★ ★ ★ ★

Words: 57,511

Pairing: Gen (possibllypre T’Challa/Tony or Bucky/Tony)

Completed: Yes

In the final fight scene of Captain America Civil War, Tony’s helmet breaks off the armour after the relentless clashing it receives.

What if the harsh hits to his head create serious complications for Tony, and he loses his sight?

Fractures (Filled With Liquid Gold) by itsallAvengers

★ ★ ★ ★

Words: 63,268

Pairing: James “Bucky” Barnes/Tony Stark

Complete: Yes

Ultron happened. The Avengers left.

Tony is fine with being alone again. He always worked better as a Lone Wolf than a team player anyway. He’s not sleeping or eating or resting or… living, but it’s fine. It’s good. It’s okay.

And then there’s James.

Till Now by SailorChibi

★ ★ ★ ★

Words: 19,333

Pairing: Peter Quill/Tony Stark

Completed: Yes

Almost everyone is born with two names on their wrists: your soul mate and your greatest enemy. Tony never thought much of it. His soul mate disappeared years ago, presumed dead, and his greatest enemy is definitely long dead. It turns out that neither of those things are true.

hold the things you wanna say by SailorChibi

★ ★ ★ ★

Words: 6,316

Pairing: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark

Completed: Yes

Tony is still a consultant, and between SI, the team and SHIELD he’s overworked and exhausted. That’s okay.

He and Steve have been having sex for weeks but that’s all it is, just sex, and Tony wants more but he’ll never get it and that’s okay. Really.

What’s not okay is the fact that Howard Stark has somehow appeared in the future and is the same as always.

This is definitely going to fuck up his schedule.

Scars on Your Heart by SailorChibi

★ ★ ★

Words: 23,326

Pairing: Tony Stark/Stephen Strange

Completed: No

Determined to stop Thanos by killing him before he collects all the Stones, Tony travels back in time and seeks out the one person who can help him: Dr. Stephen Strange. With less than a week to go before Thanos’s ships crashland on Earth, Tony and Strange form an alliance - and, just maybe, start falling in love.

Looking at You by NotEvenCloseToStraight

★ ★ ★

Words: 28,168

Pairing: Bucky Barnes/Tony Stark

Complete: Yes

Bucky doesn’t understand why no one ever says anything about Tony’s PTSD.A year after they have all come back, after they all hugged and made up, Tony is still jumping anytime someone speaks to him. His hands shake when Steve raises his voice. All he does is work and drink and apologize for being around.And nobody notices except Bucky, because he is looking. Constantly. Watching Tony as he goes through his day to day.Bucky looks and LOOKS, until he is having a hard time even wanting to look away from short spiky hair that begs to be mussed, deep brown eyes that always looks so sad, and perfect lips that Bucky just wants to kiss forever.Bucky looks for so long that now all he wants to do is touch and hold and fix everything. But Tony can barely be in the same room as Bucky, cant even look him in the eye.So Bucky doesn’t know what to do about Tony, but he is determined to do something.Because all he wants is to look at Tony, and see Tony looking back with a smile.

Send in a fic request!

[wwwnewunificationchurchcom]

(via Dylan Thomas, Anais Nin and the Guest Room of Sophia: 1520 Willard, and my Servant John | Measure 144 Missive #16)

The Name of the Father as the Chariot of Israel; and the name of the Son as the Chariot of Elijah

Robert Graves then writes on page 343 of his book “The White Goddess” this description of the situation in Israel that caused them to hide the key of knowledge; as Solomon said; “The Knowledge of the Holy is Understanding”. Here are the passages:

On the whole it was considered safest to leave the Merkabah alone, especially as it was prophesied that “in the fullness of time Ezekiel will come again and unlock for Israel the chambers of the Merkabah.” ( Cant. Rabbah, I, 4. )“

Thus only a few known Rabbis taught the mystery and only to the most select of their pupils; among them Rabbi Johanan ben Zadkai, Rabbi Joshua ( Vice-President of the Sanhedrin under Gamaliel ), Rabbi Akiba and Rabbi Nehunia. Rabbi Zera said that even chapter headings of the Merkabah must not be communicated except to a person who was the head of an academy and was cautious in temperament.

Rabbi Ammi said the doctrine could be entrusted only to one who possessed all the five qualities enumerated in Isaiah, III, 3: the captain of fifty, the honourable man, the counsellor, the skilled craftsmen, the eloquent orator.

The belief grew that expositions of the Merkabah mystery would cause Jehovah to appear.”Rabbi Johanan ben Zadkai was riding along the road upon his ass , while his pupil Eleazar ben Arak walked behind him. Said Rabbi Eleazar: ‘Master, teach me about the Work of the Chariot.’

Rabbi Johanan declined. Rabbi Eleazar said again: ‘Am I permitted  to repeat in your presence the one thing you have already taught me?’

Rabbi Johanan assented, but dismounted from his ass, wrapped himself in his gown and seated himself upon a stone under an olive tree. He declared that it was unseemly that he should be riding while his pupil was discoursing on so awful a mystery, and while the Shekinah ( ‘the Brightness’ ) and the Malache ha-Shareth ( ‘the Angels-in-waiting’ ) were accompanying them.

Immediately Rabbi Eleazar began his exposition, fire came down from Heaven and encircled them and the whole field.

The angels assembled to listen, as the sons of man assemble to witness the festivities of a marriage, and there was a singing in the terebinth-trees:

“Praise the Lord from the earth, ye dragons and all deeps, fruitful trees and all cedars, praise ye the Lord!”

To which an angel answered from the fire, saying: “This is the Work of the Chariot!”

When Eleazar had finished, Johanan stood up and kissed him on the head. He said: ‘Praised be the God of Abraham, Issac and Jacob, for He has given our father Abraham a wise son who knows how to discourse on the glory of our Father in Heaven.’ “

Rabbi Jose ha-Kohen and Rabbi Joshua had similr experiences. And once Rabbi ben Azzai was sitting in meditation on the Scriptures when suddenly a flame encircled him.

His pupils ran to Rabbi Akiba, who came up and said to Azzai: “Art thou studying the mysteries of the Merkabah?”

In Luke 11:52 we have this saying of my Father; to wit:

“Alas for you expounders of the Law! ……..for you have taken away ( as having hid ) the key of knowledge:you yourselves have not entered, and those who wanted to enter you have hindered.” The key had a history going back to the ancient association of knowledge as being opened like a door. An example is this story; to wit;“In ancient times the rabbins carried a key, which was the symbol or emblem of knowledge.Hence it is written in Semachoth, chap. 8.“When Rab. Samuel ‘the little’ died, his key and his tablets were hung on his tomb, because he died childless”.In Matthew 23:13 it was said thus a little differently;“But alas for you, Scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! … for you lock the door of the Kingdom of the Heavens against men;you yourselves do not enter,nor do you allow those to enter who are seeking to do so..”

==============================================================================

What was the curse and “locking” of the Door to which my Father Lord Jesus referred to in the Gospel? It goes back to the Alpha and the Omega; but since I was led to the Comforter I was given the gnosis of truth by that one in whose embrace I then was told that the “Alpha” was the figure known as “The Ancient of Days” written of at Daniel; and the “Omega” was the one called “The Son of Man”. 

It was then that my quest to uncover why the key of Knowledge was hid became clearer: there was a ban upon approaching the question of the Merkabah due to the sexual nature of the first paragraph of Genesis, which was also looked at recently by Howard Eilberg-Schwartz in his very interesting and radical work “God’s Phallus” with the subtitle “And Other Problems”; but his penetrating analysis is brilliant; and still largely unknown. Although Howard Eilberg-Schwartz alludes to the “Death in Christ” in his book “God’s Phallus”, in the singular context of David speaking of the “death of His Saints” this particular phrase has been hidden for centuries in the covering of obscurity; but this is shortly about to change, due to the fact this author stumbled upon something quite germaine in the process known as “the Death in Christ“.

The writer and once friend and confidante of Gore Vidal A

nais Nin was something else again; someone far different in her poetic view of God and the subsequent fall of Eve in which feww believed could ever be restored;  but as Woman was the last thing that God had created it seemed she must be of the most importance; even as the forethought of God “preforethought of”, and Anais considered herself to be an incarnated angel, as she confided to my grandmother Ruth; and with her open relationship where she shared Henry Miller with his wife June in full public view in apparently just one bed they scandalized everyone in the literary world; but I shall speak of that and the Guest Room of Sophia Ruth Witt-Diamant at 1520 Willard somewhat further down.

As the effects of the Angel of Patmos shall be made evident to those called forth to this script of the Lamb’s Wife in discussing why the Invisible Door opened, and thow the Angel who came through it lifted me to my feet from the edge of the bed: where I was sitting in petrified wonder at the Vision of the two women on both sides of the Door moving it open; the Door appearing with the Axis in the Center; so as one woman pushed one side the other moved it on her side; and my servant John slipped in; the Angel of Patmos that lifted me to my feet; nay; set me on my feet; by lifting me up by the forelock of my hair right above my forehead. That sensation shall I never forget; nor the Vow I made later that day when the Angel brought me to the Suhrawardi Sufi Michael Beebe; Master of the Path of the Rose.  

Henry and Anais as his Muse

The House of Sophia on Parnassus Heights;

Henry Miller and Anais

Robert Oppenheimer and Hokaan Chevalier

Henry and Brenda Venus

According to the history of the gods that Hesiod wrote down, and that Robert  Graves wrote two volumes about in concise detail; the king of the gods who men called  Zeus was not the creator of mankind; that was Prometheus; and Zeus admits that Prometheus the Titan, and not the gods nor himself; were the creators of the race called “man”; Adam, as in Genesis. But it is not Adam who Prometheus created; this is further confusion. Here the tale unfolds as what was hidden now comes to light; as it was said would happen long ago. 

It was what Moses created with the 12 Tribes of Israel: where we see a National Jacob or ‘Nation of the 12 Tribes of Israel in the Exodus”. Thus ‘Israel’ as a nation was made of these Twelve: the 12 Titans; as Zeus called them. But Jehovah he called “Typhon”. So Zeus is really Azazyel the fallen “Strength of God”, who did not let Azrael kill Adam after he lost his seed with Eve. Because Adam had lost some, but not all of his seed, in the act of eating / incorporating his phallus orally, thus letting Eve do to him what the Serpent had had her do to him; committing not “Coitus”, but engaging in another fallen act of “Congress” whose commission was of a nature not to remain forever unknown. Some would say she merely did to Adam what the Angel of the Devil, called “the serpent”,  had had her do to him….                                 

The serpent was, of course, “the Angel of the Devil” as being the inherent temptation that was the shadow of the One Commandment.

[harlow-jackson]

Additional Task 29

1. Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed?Closed of course. Don't need the monsters to get me while I sleep. 2. Do you take the shampoos and conditioner bottles from the hotel? Yes, if anyone says no, they are lying. 3. Do you sleep with your sheets tucked in or out? Tucked out incase i got to get out of bed fast. 4. Have you ever stolen a street sign before? Can i plead the fifth to this? 5. Do you like to use post-it notes? I do at the library, helps me keep track of things. 6. Do you cut out coupons but then never use them? I have. 7. Would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a swarm of bees? Bear for sure. I might be allergic to bees so i don't wanna risk it. 8. Do you have freckles? Yes i do. 9. Do you always smile for pictures? Depends on my mood. 10. What is your biggest pet peeve? People who lies for no reason. 11. Do you ever count your steps when you walk? Yes i have. 12. Do you ever dance even if there's no music playing? Sometimes that's the best time to dance. 13. Do you chew your pens and pencils? Yes i do. 14. How many people have you slept with this week? If i said more than one then i might be in trouble with Levi. XD 15. What size is your bed? King 16. What is your song of the week? Nu Breed Feat. Jesse Howard - Welcome To My House 17. Is it okay for guys to wear pink? Yes it is. 18. Do you still watch cartoons? Of course, cartoons are the best. 19. What's your least favorite movie? The Twilight Saga 20. Where would you bury hidden treasure if you had some? I cant tell you that, then you be finding my hidden treasures. 21. What do you drink with dinner? Depends on my mood. 22. What do you dip a chicken nugget in? Bbq 23. What is your favorite food? Pizza 24. What movies could you watch over and over and still love? Homeward Bound. 25. Were you ever a boy/girl scout? I was a brownie. 26. Would you ever strip or pose nude in a magazine? Who says i haven't already? 27. When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper? I wrote a letter to Levi. 28. Can you change the oil on a car? Yes i can. 29. Ever gotten a speeding ticket? Of course, who hasn't? 30. Ever ran out of gas? Funny story. 31. Favorite kind of sandwich? I love a grill cheese sandwich 32. Best thing to eat for breakfast? Left over pizza 33. Are you lazy? Somewhat. 34. When you were a kid, what did you dress up as for Halloween? Each year was something different. 35. What is your Chinese astrological sign? Tiger 36. How many languages can you speak? A couple 37. Do you have any magazine subscriptions? Nope, i dont think so. 38. Which are better legos or lincoln logs? Lincoln logs for the win 39. Are you stubborn? Very 40. Who is better...Leno or Letterman? Jimmy Fallon 41. Ever watch soap operas?

Yes, Days is the best.

42. Are you afraid of heights? Nope 43. Do you sing in the car? yes. 44. Do you sing in the shower? Who doesn't? 45. Do you dance in the car? Of course. 46. Ever used a gun? Yes i have 47. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer? Um, last week for work. The joys of being a model. 48. Do you think musicals are cheesy? Depends on the musical. 49. Is Christmas stressful? Nope, i love Christmas. 50. Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid? A vet. 51. Do you believe in ghosts? Sure do. 52. Ever have a Deja-vu feeling? Yes i have. 53. Take a vitamin daily? Not like i should. 54. Wear slippers? Yes. 55. What do you wear to bed? Levi shirt. 56. First concert? Backstreet boys. 57. Wal-Mart or Target? Wal Mart. 58. Nike or Adidas? Either or. 59. Cheetos Or Fritos? Both. 60. Peanuts or Sunflower seeds? Sunflower seeds 61. Ever take dance lessons? Yes i have. 62. Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing? He is the sheriff. 63. Can you curl your tongue? I sure can, can you? 64. Have you ever cried because you were so happy? Yes i have. 65. Regularly burn incense? I used to but not anymore. 66. Ever been in love? I am in love now. 67. Who would you like to see in concert? Good question. 68. What was the last concert you saw? Its been a while. 69. What is your usual bedtime? Whenever I pass out. 70. Tea or coffee? Coffee. 71. Sugar or snickerdoodles? Sugar for sure. 72. Can you swim well? Yes. 73. Can you hold your breath without holding your nose? I sure can. 74. Are you patient? Yes when i need to be. 75. DJ or band, at a wedding? Band. 76. Ever won a contest? Yes 77. Ever have plastic surgery? Maybe, whats it to you. 78. Which are better black or green olives? Both? 79. Best room for a fireplace? Living room. 80. Do you want to get married? Yes, i cant wait to Marry Levi. 81. If married, how long have you been married? I'm engaged right now. 82. Do you cry and throw a fit until you get your own way? Nope, i am an adult. 83. What's your favorite color? Blue. 84. Do you miss anyone right now? Of course, i miss my son, my parents. 85. Should Zach change his playby to Zayn Malik or keep his current face? No.

[cauldronoflove]

Ok so this is really obscure, but I've had this idea for a while now, and I'd love to see you work with it? Headcanons for a time travel AU in which Peter Parker is messing with Stark Tech and gets sent back to the 1940s? He could work with Peggy Carter in the SSR to solve the case and pretend to be her little brother. Plus in 2017 Tony and Steve working together to get him back. If you think it's weird or want to skip it no worries! If not, then thank you so much, I love your headcanons!!

i love this concept so much you dont even know?? but also okay i realized abt halfway through these 2.5k+ words that this wasnt exactly what you asked for and i feel kinda bad about that but i hope you still like it all the same!! also i wanna say thank you for thinking of me for this prompt im super flattered????

- peter wasnt technically supposed to be in the 4th basement of stark tower

- technically he was on his lunch break and was supposed to be using said time to both eat and work on his spanish homework

- but he'd heard these whispers from a couple of the older interns about some of the old stuff that mr. stark had thrown down there because he never had time to finish them and peter had an idea

- see, he's been wanting to move up a bit, have mr. stark trust him a little more, and what's better then maybe taking one of his old designs and making it better and making it work

- so thats why he's in the fourth basement of stark tower, trying to remember if he's had his tetanus shot because some of this stuff is seriously Old

- and then he stumbles onto this little pyramid shaped....doohickey

- its the only thing in 4 floors of Things that doesnt have a label or a file or a crude drawing taped to the front of it so now peter is Officially Curious

- he kinda fiddles with it for a few minutes until his phone beeps with his 'hey pete youre gonna be super late getting back to work again' alarm and he about drops this thing on the floor because like everyday the alarm scares him to death

- but because hes clumsy and because hes pete he actually does drop it and everything goes black

- but everything's fine because he wakes right back up and he's pretty sure that he electrocuted himself but thats happened dozens of times so he picks himself up and brushes himself off and realizes that he may have been out longer than he thought because theres fewer boxes in the room than before and geez his head hurts

- "are you quite alright?"

- oh god he mustve hit his head harder than he thought because that looks like

- "m-miss carter, no sorry, ma'am? oh, oh god i'm so sorry that was so rude, agent? agent ma'am?"

- "this is howard's fault isnt it"

- "howard? as in....oh god oh god"

- "do you know where you are?"

- peter parker loved a lot of things and one of those things was museums and one of those museums in particular had an exhibit on a certain mr. rogers and adjacent to that exhibit was a small plaque about the woman standing in front of him and oh god he was going to hyperventilate and throw up in front of a literal legend and hero at the same time

- "remind me to kill him later. right now lets get you something warm to drink, yes? maybe some new clothes, youre looking a little singed"

- flash forward half an hour and he's sitting in front of the agent carter sipping at some terribly bitter coffee while she pursed and unpursed her lips a few times

- (annnnd time skip back to present day)

- friday: mr stark theres a woman downstairs beating on the door asking for youtony, 47 names going through his head: ...go on

- enter may parker, in her pjs, fire in her eyes, carrying on the legacy of brunette women ready to end a stark's life

- "it is ten o'clock on a school night, i've talked to ned, i've talked to mj and liz, i've talked to every corner sub shop owner, i even had a nice long chat with pepper, yet no one could tell me anything so you better have answers as to where my nephew is anthony"

- and in that moment, tony stark's life flashed before his eyes

- "hey, friday, where is the kid?"

- "peter's vitals havent been detected since 1:32pm on floor D"

- tony: fu-

- (back to pete and peggy)

- so he's quickly caught her up on the gist of whats going on (aka he told her he's from 2017 ny and hed really just like to go home) and she's taking it surprisingly well, all nodding and hmm-ing and cursing howard stark under her breath, kinda how may is when tony does like.. anything

- but now shes leading him through their super secret base and he's trying not to stare because, has he mentioned, hes literally standing next to peggy carter

- "right, well, here's your cot. if you need anything, dugan can help you. he's that one, there, with the cigar. you get some rest and i'll find howard and see if we cant get your...issue squared away. oh, and whatever you do, dont accept anything dernier tries to give you, you've already blown up once today, i dont think you can afford another"

- present day

- tony's been working through the night, a marginally-more-than-slightly disgruntled may beside him, and an even-more-than-marginally-more-than-slightly peeved happy beside her

- ("how do you lose a teenage boy, tony" happy moans to his phone when he wakes up and sees all the missed calls and texts he has)

- good news: it only took like 2 1/2 hours and three shots of espresson for tony to figure out what happened to peter

- bad news: it wasnt even a Tony Stark Exclusive Design, it was a Howard Stark One-Time Use That Was Actually A Malfunction Design, he'd had several more coffees that werent even close to being strong enough, and he had a growing black eye from the punch may landed before happy could pull her away and calm her down (maybe that last part should be in the good news column)

- "so he's just stuck in the 40s alone, then" may surmises, rubbing at the tension headache in her temples

- tony doesnt respond because at this point he needs his other eye for miracle working and depth perception

- "well, probably not alone," happy begins. "i catalogued everything in that level, and that stuff came from one of howard's london facilities, so it was probably calibrated for that time, so he's probably with-"

- tony: "hap, please dont finish that sentence"

- may: "1940s london. so he's with steve, then, safe. with captain america. okay, i can handle that."

- tony: "no, ah, a little later than capsicle, probably"

- may: "so not safe with captain america"

- happy: "safe with agent carter, more likely"

- pete and peggy

- good news: pete made it through the night without being blown up by the howling commandoes

- bad news: once howard was finally located and sobered up, he explained that he hadnt built that particular device yet, so peter was kinda stuck

- peter wasnt coping well

- "i have a spanish test tomorrow! and a trig test on friday! and i'm supposed to hang out with ned on saturday, and then may's gonna kill me when i dont show up for sunday dinner, and shes gonna kill me in general because i never checked in because holy shit i never checked in!"

- howard: peggy he's crying what do i do

- peggy: do i have to do everything myself

- she advances on peter and takes his chin in her hand, locking eyes with him: peter, you know who i am, dont you?

- he nods as best as he can

- "then you must know that i'm going to do everything in my power and then some to get you back home, dont you?"

- "yes ma'am"

- "good. go take a walk while i talk to howard, and if anyone asks, youre my american brother in for a short visit." and then she pats him on the cheek and his soul kinda ascends then and there because agent carter just patted him on the cheek AND gave him permission to tell people he's her brother

- so he goes to take his walk but the thing is when he gets anxious, he likes to fiddle with the loose legos he keeps under his bed, building and rebuilding tiny structures to help ease his nerves

- needless to say, he's an Absolute Nervous Wreck while he waits for some kind of something from peggy or howard and there arent any legos to keep him busy

- so he kind of takes that walk right on down to the lab and starts poking around because even if he is a certified nervous wreck he's also thr most inquisitive little shit that ever did walk the earth

- peggy finds him two hours later with a pair of loose fitting goggles on his forehead, his sweater sleeves pushed up to his elbows, and some . substance on his hands

- "please dont tell me youre somehow howard's long lost son too," she says, taking his appearance in

- he shakes his head as the beakers in front of him emit a puff of green smoke directly into his already scrunched up face "no ma'am; it's just that mr. stark kinda has me on desk duty and never lets me get my hands dirty so i like to take every oppurtunity i can get"

- she nods, "good, because howard needs you to describe what you remember of the device, and then you and i are going to begin the slog through the logistics of it all"

- "ooooookay"

- which is how peter parker ends up sitting across from peggy carter, the both of them scribbling extremely advanced mathematics onto yellowing sheets of paper as howard stark tinkered with some spare parts he had lying around as he tried to construct a crude rendering of the device

- peggy mostly doesnt talk, actually, she hasnt spoken since explaining that shed picked her math skills up on an assignment shed once had where she learned she actually loved numbers and then howard had been letting her do calculations for him in her free time

- peter was too impressed to respond bc from what he gathered she'd only been on that mission for six months and she didnt have much free time which meant she'd had to pick it all up FAST

- anyway, they got at that for hours, until peter cant keep his eyes open and even howard is dwindling; peggy waves them both off to bed but stays and keeps scribbling away

- they repeat that routine for 3 days

- on the 5th night, after she waves them off, peter goes to his cot and he tosses and turns for hours, listening to the commandoes play poker and crack jokes, but he cant sleep

- finally he gets up and just starts walking, anywhere his feet take him

- coincidentally, his feet take him past what he quickly realizes is peggy's room

- "peter why are you still up? is everything all right?" she asks, pulling off these big hulking glasses that made him incredibly homesick because she reminds him so much of may in that moment, big glasses on, hunched over a book in her lap, hair pulled back out of her face

- and he apologizes, but she Knows something's terribly wrong, so she gets up and ushers him away from her doorway, and leads him down a hall or two and then theyre standing in an open space, and she's looking at him like shes trying to solve one of her equations

- "do you know how to throw a punch, peter"

- " whatever youre thinking i dont think its a good idea we dont have any gear and i dont want to get hurt-"

- she shakes her head and asks again, and he finally answers with a kinda

- "'kinda' will get you hurt; watch me" and she begins to demonstrate a few slow punches and he follows her movements and tries to copy them but hes a little sloppy but its ok because she corrects him and finally theyre just standing beside one another counting out punches when she asks "whats on your mind"

- and he doesnt even hesitate he just lets loose everything, how much he misses may and how terrible he feels that he cant get in touch with her, how much he misses ned and mj and liz, how much he misses his fire escape and the deli on the corner and the buildings and then he's crying again, but she gracefully doesnt point it out

- once he's done spitting out everything thats bothering him she gets this kind of sad smile and says, "you remind me of a man i knew. he cared so much about his friends, sometimes to the point of not even worrying about himself, whuch meant he was always in some sort of trouble, as you can imagine. but he always found his way out of a problem, even if he was the one who created it." she laughs slightly then. "i guess what i'm getting at is even if i cant get you back home, even if howard cant, i believe that youll figure it out."

- "are you comparing me to captain anerica right now because i'm already crying and i dont think i can take much more" he says through sniffles, his arms slack by his sides now

- she smiles and nods, keeping her stance, and peter feels an overwhelming sense of gratitude for this amazing woman who immediately helped him without much of a pause and who's made sure he was okay for the past 5 days and who's up at god knows what time showing him how to throw a punch and being his borderline therapist and he just wants to give her something in return

- "im not sure if im supposed to do this, because for all i know it could tear a hole in the fabric of time and space but i really want to show you this," he begins, pulling his wallet put of his pocket.

- he flicks the little photo holders out and theres may, and theres ned and mj and liz, and theres that cat he found that one time, and theres him and tony, and there, at the bottom, is the time he officially met steve after the whole fight thing and all

- "this was taken a couple months ago; well, a couple months for me, it's decades from now, but here," and he holds out his wallet for her to see and she looks over the photo curiously before she understands and a tear slips down her cheek and she smiles the most grand smile

- "thank you, peter" and she passes the wallet back and puts her hand on his shoulder and says "i promise i'll have you home in time for sunday dinner"

- and she does