#(i am cringe but i am free and i will make a THOUSAND SELF INDULGENT COMICS unless god himself takes the pen from my hand)

[undefeatablesin]

Anyway I am once again up to No Good, by which I mean I am making that Good Hunter Aloysha comic because I am Weak And Foolish ✨️

[dreamofcentipedes]

The Wedding of Haruhi Suzumiya

Summary: Suzumiya Haruhi is getting married. Time has gone by so quickly, and yet, all of a sudden, it appears to stop. It seems Kyon can't get a day off, even on his wedding day!

Fandom: The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya

Ship: Kyon/Haruhi

Characters: Kyon, Haruhi, Nagato, Mikuru, Koizumi, Taniguchi, Kunikida, Tsuruya, Kyon’s Little Sister.

Rating: Teen Words: 10,578 Link to AO3

A/N: This is a present for my wonderful friend @harleyquilt’s birthday! I'm glad I introduced you to the series so I could have an excuse to write this fic hahaha. It's written in the style of the novels, so from Kyon's first person POV. 

To anyone who's not Leila, this fic is based on anime-only canon; so that's why characters like Kimidori aren't here since she's not very relevant in the show. Enjoy!

Something was wrong. I felt it in my gut.

Ah, allow me to clarify. It was not the kind of odd feeling one might feel when forced to repeat summer over fifteen thousand times because of the oddly conscientious whims of a typically self-centred high school girl. I won’t force you all through that again – so long as Haruhi doesn’t force me to. Hey, if I suffer, you suffer! That’s the compensation I’ve earned from you, universe, for all my sterling efforts to save you. I may have admitted I enjoy a good deal of what Haruhi forces me into, but stuff like an endless summer is just too much. Today, at least, should be free of the kind of chaotic events that follow Haruhi around like the Duke of Buckingham to King James I of England (and VI of Scotland).

Or so Koizumi says. Which brings me back to the problem at hand. Or that is, the problem of the minute hand. On the clock that stared down at me from the wall like a Great Old One about to nonchalantly crush swarms of insignificant humans underfoot, I saw that there was only half an hour remaining until the ceremony.

“The Agency extends their full gratitude to you for what you’re doing today. If it all goes well, we won’t have to worry about Closed Space appearing for a few months at the very least.” Koizumi brushed some non-existent lint off his light grey suit and patted down his yellow silk tie. Smart and snazzy as always. He better not outshine me at my own wedding.

“I think you have an overly optimistic view on marriage. And on Haruhi, for that matter. Her temper will blow at my first sign of disobedience.”

“You think so? I hoped you’d know your fiancé better than that. To Suzumiya-san, you are an exceptionally important person. It will be hard to dent her good mood after all these years of holding back.”

I didn’t say anything back, but as I adjusted my red tie over my blue suit in an outfit reminiscent of my old High School uniform, I thought about what he said. I hoped he was right, and not for the sake of the world or reality or whatever other annoying stuff he cares about. Haruhi’s smiling face was just a pleasant sight for me to see, that’s all. It’s not like I was marrying her because the Agency wanted me to. I barely even know those guys.

“I’m sure Nagato-san and Asahina-san will also extend you their appreciation at the reception. On behalf of their organisations, that is.”

I had some idea of what he was talking about with that clarification. I did worry about those two, but I had made my decision and didn’t have any regrets. At least where that matter is concerned. Otherwise, there was still that ball of anxiety in my chest wrapped up like a mangled slinky.

Ah, we really did get sidetracked, didn’t we? Yes, this is the odd feeling that was haunting me. Wedding jitters, cold feet, spineless hesitation from the latest generation of worthless men – call it what you like, I could barely keep my hands still as I fussed endlessly over the tightness of my tie. That’s what I hoped it was, anyway, but I had the sinking feeling it was something more than that, and worse, that I knew what it was. I desperately needed someone to talk me, but Haruhi had somehow managed to hijack my own Best Man, so Koizumi served as my substitute. Creepy as he was, he was at least a calm presence. Taniguchi would send me insane.

Of course, I couldn’t tell him I was nervous. It would be a cold day in hell before I admitted weakness in front of him. He was an annoyingly observant guy, though.

“Are you sure you want to do this?”

His voice slipped into a more serious tone. I left the mirror alone at that and turned to face him. Watchful brown eyes peeked out from his usual squint.

“Of course I am.” I grumbled.

Koizumi gave a smile that seemed a little sad, then clapped a hand on my shoulder.

“Then see it through.”

With that, he gestured to the door.

“Well, being the joyous occasion that it is for Suzumiya-san, I doubt any strange phenomena will occur. But the job of an esper is never over. I will be patrolling the grounds for anything that seems out of place. I hope you’ll survive without me until then.”

As he was turning the handle, I felt a strange mix of frustration and sadness rise up in me. To any shrinks in the area, I’d like to get this checked out, please. But whatever it was, it made me call out to him: “You’ll be at the ceremony, won’t you?”

His hand let go of the doorknob and he looked at me, surprised.

“You’re a member of the SOS Brigade, after all.” I continued. “If you’re not there, Haruhi would be devastated. Then the world would really be in danger.”

He lowered his eyes and that sad smile crept up again. I decided, compared with this, I’d prefer that sickeningly sweet smile he usually plasters on his face. But before long he turned his eyes back to me with a slightly more jovial expression.

“You may be right. I’ll do my best if you do yours.”

He opened the door and left the room, leaving me alone with my unsatisfactory tie. What’s more, that clock was staring at me again, with only half an hour to go. Hey, cut it out. You’re not my Best Man, are you? Actually, where was my Best Man?

Well, since the wedding was Western-style it was a bit less of a pain to prepare for than Japanese-style weddings, but I still found myself combing my hair in five different directions. Eventually I got tired of it and set off to find my AWOL assistant. As I traversed the corridors, I noticed the legs and torso of someone in a black suit and tie making his way down the stairs. It was silly of me to hope for the best, but instead it was Taniguchi.

“Kyon my man! I’ve been looking for you all over!”

“Well, I was looking for Kunikida. Seen him anywhere?”

“Nope, not even once! What an unreliable guy! It’s not too late to change Best Men, you know.” He gave a grin that made me want to punch him on the nose.

“Really? I’ll let Koizumi know, then.”

Taniguchi looked aghast. “Koizumi? That creepazoid? You’d pick him over me, your constant buddy over three years of high school and four years of university?”

Like radioactive waste, I couldn’t ethically get rid of him. Well, maybe I did have some fun times with him around. It was much more enjoyable to not let him know that, though. When I didn’t respond, he acted hurt.

“Hmph! Well, I can’t see why you’d resign yourself to a lifetime chained to a girl like that anyway!” He raised his hands and shook his head with an insufferably smug expression. “Aah, she has you well and truly whipped, doesn’t she? Forcing you to flush your youth away down the toilet of the marriage bed.”

Ignoring that his metaphor was painfully inconsistent, I just asked him whether he’d gotten a girlfriend yet. He quickly shut up with an expression like Aeschylus must have had when he was mortally wounded by an airborne tortoise.

“Speaking of, Kyon,” he asked me when he had recovered, sidling up to me like a drug dealer in a black-and-white film noir and whispering to me, “You two have…done it, right?”

I pushed his face away from my ear. There was a 20% chance I was blushing. No, 10%. 5% tops! But if any such out-of-character situation was occurring, I didn’t want Taniguchi to see it. He probably did anyway.

“You have!” He laughed. “You totally have! Oh man, oh man, oh man, OH MAN!”

Haruhi and I had been dating since our last year of high school, so I don’t know why he was so surprised. What, did he seriously think the woman who had sexually assaulted Asahina-san on a daily basis was the type to save herself for marriage? This guy was purer than I thought. I placed a hand on his shoulder in sympathy.

“Uh, what’s this about?” Taniguchi brushed it off sheepishly. “So? She’s into some weird stuff, right? Does she make you do dress-up?”

Everything about his tone and expression was cringe-inducing.  Just when I was resigning myself to indulge this overgrown 14 year old with the rudimentals of my sex life as the only alternative to my anxiety, I was saved by a benevolent god called Kunikida.

“Ah, Kyon, I’m so sorry!” He was red-faced and out of breath, rushing down the stairs as fast as he could while carrying about five bags with him. He came to a halt in front of me and dropped them to the ground, panting heavily. It’s a good thing he was wearing black, because otherwise the growing pools of sweat under his armpits might be much more obvious.

“Hmm, look who finally decided to show up!” Taniguchi remarked jealously.

“Taniguchi, zip it. It’s fine, Kunikida. What does she want this time?”

Kunikida returned to a stable condition and raised his head. “She wants to know which ribbon you’d like best.”

I shook my head with the fond exasperation that girl always exerts in me. Yare yare. Isn’t the bride’s appearance supposed to be a surprise for the groom? Nagato might be useless in the fashion department, but couldn’t she rely on Asahina-san and Tsuruya-san’s advice a bit more? Even my sister, another of my comrades she’d hijacked, had started to become fashion conscious. But Haruhi’s never coped with uncertainty too well. I decided I might as well have a look, lest her stress blow a hole in the fabric of the cosmos.

There was a red one, a blue one with black stripes, a purple one, orange with polka dots…I didn’t know why they each needed their own separate bags. But the choice was a pretty easy one for me. It was just too nostalgic.

“Let’s go with yellow.” I told Kunikida.

He nodded with approval. “I thought you’d pick that one. It’s just like the one she wore back at North High. I told her that, but she made me check with you anyway.” He pouted. “Well, I’ll report back then.”

“Oi, Kunikida.”

“Hm?”

“Any more tyrannical demands Haruhi makes of you, refuse them.” Kunikida paled. “Just tell her it’s a direct order from the groom. I’ll take the heat. For now, I need you to help get me ready.”

Kunikida nodded, told me he wouldn’t be long, and disappeared up the stairs. I imagined the chaos that must be happening up there, the hell Haruhi must be putting all her poor bridesmaids and even my Best Man through. I imagined Haruhi in her bridal dress, with that yellow ribbon in her hair…and my stomach knotted again as other thoughts rushed through my head in concert. I felt so dizzy I thought I might fall over. Steadying myself with a strong exhale, I grabbed Taniguchi’s sleeve.

“Move it, Taniguchi. I need a substitute until Kunikida gets back.”

I needed some company, any company, even if just to make sure I didn’t fall over and ruin my meticulously pressed suit. Taniguchi seemed pretty ecstatic about it, though, so I didn’t tell him that last part. We moved into my dressing room.

I was reaching for the comb on the side of my desk when I noticed that accursed clock again. ‘Accursed’. Only then did I begin to realise just how accurate that description truly was.

Because only half an hour remained until the ceremony.

“Hm?”

I stared at the clock, wondering if I misread it. But no, the hands didn’t lie. It wasn’t broken, either: the second hand was happily ticking away, and the minute hand slowly moving with it.

“Hey Kyon, earth to Kyon. You still with us man?”

I turned to the bemused Taniguchi, then looked back at the clock. When I did, I saw something that made that ‘wrong’ feeling that had been ruthlessly assaulting my small intestine level up at least twice, with major boosts to its ATK, DEF, and SPD. Because although the second hand was now ticking down from the top of the clock, the minute hand had returned to exactly half past 2.

Despite all the conversations and activities I had gotten up to since the clock had struck that time, despite all the time that had seemingly passed – somehow, it was still exactly half an hour until I married Haruhi.

I prayed for the sake of my already trembling heart that it was just a broken clock. But when I snatched my phone off the counter, I saw the exact same time glaring at me: 14:30.

I crammed my phone back into my pocket with frustration. Koizumi! No strange phenomena, he said, as though I could trust him. One day that guy’s going to get a career peddling snake oil. Dammit! This was the last thing I needed today! I slammed my hands against the counter and stared at the clock.

“Hey, Kyon, aren’t you gonna – ”

“Shut it, Taniguchi.”

Thankfully, he did. I looked at the clock, allowed a few seconds to pass, looked away, then immediately looked back. The seconds had reset.

I rubbed my sweating temples with my equally clammy hands.

“Taniguchi, I need you to do me a favour.”

“Huh? Sure! You can always count on – ”

“Hold my eyes open for me.”

“Wha?” He was clearly taken aback. “Uh, Kyon, you feeling okay?”

“Groom’s orders.”

He sighed, muttering something about me being as crazy as Haruhi, before I experienced the highly unpleasant sensation of Taniguchi lifting my eyelids up. I stared intently at the clock.

My stinging eyes, desperate to blink, beheld a full minute passing before I told Taniguchi it was enough and rushed to sink my eyes back into peaceful oblivion, like a salaryman collapsing in his bed after a particularly nasty overtime shift. When I opened them again, 2:31 was no more, and 2:30 was back with an insufferable grin on its clock face. Stop looking at me like that, arsehole. I’ll break your hands.

I exhaled. I guess it couldn’t be helped. I knew what I was getting myself into when I proposed to Haruhi, and honestly, at any other time I might look forward to this kind of sci-fi event. But Haruhi, could you really not hold off on the day of our wedding, at the very least?!

No, maybe that’s too hasty. I’ve always been too quick to point the finger at my fiancé in the past, but in my defence, if you’re in a room with a known thief and something goes missing, who else are you going to accuse? But I should stick with what I know: that the moment I take my eyes off the time, it resets to 2:30, with all the events that have happened since then left unchanged.

“Taniguchi, notice anything?”

“Huh? Notice what?” He looked so confused I almost felt sorry for him. “What are you going on about, Kyon?”

So Taniguchi hadn’t realised anything was wrong. He wasn’t looking for anything suspicious, so it makes sense. That, and he’s an idiot. In any case, it saved me a headache-inducing explanation about a problem I hardly understood myself.

Right, there was nothing left for it then.

“Oh, dang! Taniguchi, I forgot my cufflinks!”

“Eh? But you’re wearing them right now…”

“No no no, these are just my temporary cufflinks. Koizumi should be bringing me my real cufflinks – could you ask around if anyone’s seen him?”

“Haah? Temporary cufflinks? Why are you wearing temporary cufflinks?”

“No time to explain, I need them right now. There’s only half an hour to go you know! Think you could be my Best Man for a while?”

Taniguchi perked up at that. “Ah…well…”

“I’m counting on you!” I gave him a thumbs up and sprinted out of the room, leaving a baffled Taniguchi looking this way and that. He’ll play along in the end, he always does. Let it not be said that I haven’t learnt anything during my time in the SOS Brigade. Seven years’ experience of lying through your teeth counts as a transferrable skill, right? I doubt I’ll get to put it on my CV, anyhow.

My mood darkened as the thought crossed through my mind. What, we’re making jokes about this, now? I furrowed my brow as I ran up the stairs. Really, just how irresponsible could I be…

With my eyes fixed on the ground, I didn’t notice the sudden appearance of a wild Kunikida at the top of the stairs. His sudden “Hey, Kyon!” wasn’t enough to stop me from slamming into him. He managed to keep his balance, but my knees hit  landing. First of all, ouch; but much more importantly I hoped my suit wasn’t crumpled.

“Kyon, are you okay? What’s the hurry?”

“Ah…my bad, Kunikida. I just needed to see Nagato and Asahina-san.” I told him, standing up and zealously cleaning my suit legs like a medieval Catholic priest with a supposed segment of the Holy Cross. If Taniguchi could summon Koizumi, and I could get to Nagato and Asahina-san, at least one of them should be able to help me skip to the end of this poorly-timed adventure.

“Eh? But they’re with Suzumiya-san, you know?” He was shaking like a leaf. I was really starting to wonder what kind of torture Haruhi was putting him through.

“That’s fine. Like I said, I can take the heat.”

“Eh? That’s not the problem!” Kunikida objected. “The groom can’t see the bride before the ceremony, it’s bad luck!”

Could I really be having worse luck than I was having now? Actually, wait, this is Haruhi we’re talking about. If she thinks I’ll get bad luck, I probably will. I sighed.

“Could you get them for me, then? It really is urgent.”

Kunikida looked at me with the confused expression I had become so used to as a member of the SOS Brigade.

“Okay, if you say so…”

“Sorry to make you keep walking up and down these stairs.”

Kunikida proceeded at an annoyingly leisurely pace. I wanted to yell at him to get a move on, but when I thought about it, there really wasn’t any need to hurry at all. Time wasn’t moving. Or, it was, but in a way that it wasn’t. Well, I didn’t need an explanation, just a resolution, but I still felt kind of stupid for running all that way and messing up my clothes.

After what felt like a few minutes but what was, in actuality, no time at all, Kunikida reappeared with Nagato in tow. She had on a sleeveless light purple dress with an interesting shading pattern. It suited her pretty well, so I’m sure she had nothing to do with its selection.

“Ah, thanks Kunikida, Nagato.” But something was missing from this picture. “Where’s Asahina-san?”

Kunikida opened his mouth, but Nagato pointed wordlessly up the stairs.

“She’s still upstairs? Why?”

“Leaving Suzumiya Haruhi alone with the girl Tsuruya and your sibling…” Nagato stared at the ground, probably recalibrating. “…Dangerous.”

Couldn’t argue with that. Actually, yes I could. All due respect to our valued members of staff who might fall victim to that tyrannical trio, but I’m first in line for compensation! Move along! Just then, as if as a counter-argument, I heard a high-pitched wail echo from the upper floor followed by a string of indecipherable yelling.

Well, now I knew I was right – far more dangerous than leaving them alone was leaving Asahina-san alone with them! I held back my oncoming migraine and begged Kunikida to go and save her.

“B-but…they’re…I’ll…”

“Groom’s orders!”

I’m pretty sure it’s not a rule that the word of the groom is absolute during his wedding. But for some reason, whenever I said it, it worked, so I wasn’t going to quit now. Kunikida meekly jogged up the stairs, surely getting a pretty good workout by this point.

Well, besides rescuing Asahina-san it also got Kunikida out of the way for me to ask Nagato what exactly was going on.

She stared at me for a few seconds. “It is your wedding.”

Uh, no Nagato – I mean yes, but that’s beside the point. I showed her the time on my phone and gave her a brief rundown of the situation as I understood it.

She stared at me for another few seconds. “You are referring to the chrono-shift?”

I wasn’t exactly thrilled she knew about this already.

“Hey, Nagato, I know you were only sent here to observe, but you have a lot more freedom now, you know? If you notice some strange event going on, could you tell me next time?” It felt weird having to talk to a hyper-intelligent being as though she were a five year old who didn’t understand what was wrong with hoarding crayons from the other kids, but social courtesies weren’t Nagato’s forte.

“I was providing assistance to Suzumiya Haruhi. It was also highly probable you would notice the occurrence of the chrono-shift and seek consultation with me yourself; so it was not considered urgent. Time was not...of the essence.” From the long look she gave from those golden-brown eyes speckled with melancholy, I had the feeling she wasn’t telling the whole truth. But I certainly couldn’t lecture her on that front, so I decided not to drag it out of her. Let’s start with the basics.

“What is a chrono-shift?”

“Chrono-shift. A space-time event wherein a selection of space is held in abstraction from the flow of time. Its marginal presence allows time to pass as normal only while an observer is conscious of its transition, however, as soon as observation ceases, the abstracted time will correct itself. With the exception of these moments of observation, the time within the abstracted space will move differently than the time outside the target area.”

After all these years, I still couldn’t begin to decipher Nagato-ese. Where was Koizumi when you needed him? Even Asahina-san would do. She was the time traveller, after all.

“Do you know how to stop it?” I asked her the far more useful question.

“To reverse the eruption of a chrono-shift, access to technology enabling time travel is required.”

I scratched my head at the thought of more time travel escapades. I really didn’t want to run the risk of getting stabbed on my wedding day like I had on my most memorable trip through time, but whatever we had to do, we needed Asahina-san. I lent my ear to the sounds of muffled calamity still occurring above us.  It appeared Kunikida had gone MIA, so contacting Asahina-san became not just a practical but an ethical obligation.

I told Nagato to follow me as I stomped up the stairs. Haruhi had been behaving herself on this front a lot more since our first year of High School, but I guessed Bridesmaid-Mikuru was just too much for her. Well, it’s not like I wasn’t interested to see it myself…Oi universe, what’s with that judgemental look? I may be a soon-to-be-married man, but if my bride isn’t going to leave her lust at the door then I retain the right to wandering eyes!

However, this internal act of defiance felt somewhat pointless, as it was not the thought of Asahina-san that had set my heart thundering in my chest. Thinking of Haruhi in a bridal gown again made me feel completely dizzy, a warm feeling suffusing all throughout my body like a bacterial infection. Was this really real? Wasn’t this some kind of alternate reality, where the consequences of my actions wouldn’t have the slightest effect on the real world? Ever since our first kiss in Closed Space, I had always felt like Haruhi and I would always remain in more or less the same state, me as reluctant servant and her as diabolical overlord. Well, I supposed our marriage wasn’t going to be too different from that, but even when we started dating four years ago it felt like I had somehow achieved something I had never expected to, even knowing how she felt, even knowing how I felt. Like an alternate reality, I guess. But it was here, in this one.

At least, it was for me. Given what I knew and what she didn’t, it was like we were living in two completely different worlds.

The thick, glutinous knot that had been squeezing my chest came back with a vengeance. I’m sorry, Haruhi. I can’t do right by you. I can’t even wait for the ceremony before seeing you. I want your forgiveness, but I can’t even tell you what I’ve done wrong. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.

Kunikida knocked me out of depressive spiral again, this time with a door to my face.

“Eh – Kyon?! You can’t come in here!” Kunikida objected to my crumpled corpse. For some reason, his black tie was wrapped in a bandanna around his head. Is this really the time to kickstart your delinquent lifestyle, Kunikida?!

“Ehhhhhhhhhhhh? Kyon-kun is - !!!” Came Asahina-san’s soft, panicked voice.

“Ohohoh, couldn’t wait for the ceremony, could he? Hey Suzumiya-san, your hubby-to-be’s more of a man than I thought!” That carefree and boisterous tone could only belong to Tsuruya-san.

“KYON-KUN!” And that was…

My sister barrelled out of the room in a pink dress with her finger taking aim at my chest.

“You can’t see the bride before the wedding you know! It’s forbidden! For-bid-den!”

She was driving me back like a bulldozer driven by some Hollywood action hero, giving my chest an extra prod with each syllable.

“It’s important, I have to talk to Asahi- ”

“NO IFS!” She paused for effect. “NO BUTS!”

I hadn’t said either if nor but, but I was sure telling her that would only earn me another piledriver. What happened to the cute sister I had known all those years ago? She’s been spending way too much time with Haruhi. It was a sister-in-law tag team I had come to dread.

“Eh? Kyon-kun wants to see me…um…this isn’t the best the time…” Asahina-san’s dulcet tones rang out from behind the door.

“Asahina-san!” I slipped out from behind my sister’s human wall. “I have something I need to talk to you about! With Nagato.”

“N-Nagato-san is…?” She seemed to have got the hint about what kind of conversation this would be. “U-um…what should I do…?”

“Well, well, what’s this, Kyon-kun?”  The mischievous face of Tsuruya-san in a dark blue, Chinese-style dress emerged from behind the door, intercepting my path. “You want to see Mikuru? Not your lovely bride? Aw man, it’s the day of the wedding and we already have a scandal on our hands! I’d expect nothing less from you, Kyon-kun!”

What exactly was that supposed to mean?! I gave her my best attempt at a stare like the kind a cowboy might have while saying this town wasn’t big enough for the both of them.

“Tsuruya-san, whatever you and Haruhi have been doing to Asahina-san, cut it out now! This is important!”

I started marching towards the door. At that time, I was reminded of the Charge of the Light Brigade and the three hundred Spartans at Thermopylae, but I didn’t let such depressing and realistic examples deter me from my righteous crusade.

“KYON-KUN, YOU CAN’T – Ah!”

Ever the reliable ally, Nagato easily fended off my sister’s hug-attacks with timely swishes of her arm. I charged on past the useless defence of Kunikida towards Tsuruya-san. Her eyes widened in surprise.

“Woah woah woah woah woah woah woah, wait a minute!”

Even Tsuruya-san’s spirited defence was insufficient against my determination. I ducked under her arms and passed right on through towards the growing sounds of quite a few panicked noises from Asahina-san. It’s okay, Asahina-san – I’ll do my best not to look!

The open door was in front of me. Asahina-san, to my relief and confusion, was fully dressed in an angelic white gown. But Haruhi…Haruhi was…

“G-G-G-G-GEEEEEEEEET OOOOUUUUUUUUT!”

Her flushing face slammed the door into mine, literally. I dropped to the floor, more from astonishment than the force of the blow. My nose was bleeding for a different reason, too, but don’t tell anyone. What was that?

Hey now, me. Is it really so shocking to see Haruhi half-dressed? You’ve seen her butt naked more than a few times – in fact, you’ve gotten to know that Haruhi very well indeed (oi, wipe that smirk off your face). I hadn’t been expecting it, so there was that, but I think what really did it for me was what she still had on. Just like in my imagination, there was something about seeing her half in her bridal dress that turned me on to a ridiculous degree. I felt the need to stand up and clamp my legs together.

Not long after, following much berating from Tsuruya-san and my sister and muffled shouts from behind the door, Asahina-san eventually eked open the door and crept through, leaving no room for even the slightest peek.

“Um…sorry about that, Kyon-kun…”

“I-it’s fine. Uh, can I ask what you were doing…?”

“Preparing your bride for her wedding night, of course! Wahahaha!” Tsuruya-san tormented me, and I felt like throttling her, just a little bit.

“N-no! It wasn’t like that! Kyon-kun, it really wasn’t like that!” Poor Asahina-san seemed like she was about to cry. It wasn’t even you I saw! I calmed down and gave a reassuring nod to show her I believed her. She exhaled with relief.

“Suzumiya-san couldn’t decide on what dress she wanted to wear…or how she wanted to wear it…so she asked us to help her decide…um…”

“And well, we thought we should have some fun with it! Get revenge for Mikuru’s suffering all those years ago, wahaha!”

“I-it was you who thought that, Tsuruya-san!” Asahina-san desperately objected. As if I could believe Saint Asahina could want revenge for anything. The girl turns her other cheek before someone even slaps her.

Wait, hold on – does this mean my Best Man has seen my bride naked?! I redirected my death-glare from Tsuruya-san to Kunikida. He started waving his hands in front of him as if he was trying to deflect my laser vision.

“I-I didn’t see anything! I tried to stop them, like you said, but Tsuruya-san grabbed me and wrapped my tie around my eyes!” He tugged on the tie now wrapped around his forehead. “They made me help out, but I was totally blind!”

I folded my arms and turned towards Tsuruya-san, who was nodding in confirmation, looking like she was having way too much fun. Satisfied, I gave Kunikida a solemn nod. It made no sense to try to get someone you just blinded to help you, but that kind of thing was just like Tsuruya-san. Then I realised something.

“Wait, it’s thirty minutes before the wedding, and she still hasn’t decided on her dress yet?” I groaned. “Well, it is like her to skim over important stuff like this…”

“Kyon-kun!” My sister scolded me. What now?! “That’s not how it was at all! Haruhi-nee thought really hard about it, but couldn’t decide, so she bought three just in case! She’s thinking about it even now just to make sure she looks as good as possible for your wedding!”

A-aah. That’s really quite sweet, actually.  But Haruhi, please dial down your spending habits after we get married. And come to think of it, why does my sister use sibling honorifics for you when she doesn’t for her biological brother?!

“Suzumiya-san was totally psyched out when you turned up, Kyon-kun.” Tsuruya-san was squashing her cheeks between her hands and swivelling back and forth in adoration. “She was so nervous she couldn’t get out a word! Ah, young love…”

To my knowledge Tsuruya-san was the same age as the rest of us, but in Haruhi’s universe, I knew better than to make hasty assumptions. She could still be a slider/ghost/Mobile Suit Gundam yet. But what she said was kind of interesting. If Haruhi was feeling as anxious as me, maybe this was just a normal feeling after all…

“Well, we better get back to work. Please bring Mikuru back when you’re done with her, Kyon-kun. Only half an hour left to go~!” Tsuruya-san intoned, pulling Kunikida’s tie over his eyes and pushing him through the door, followed by my sister. “Suzumiya-saaaan, we’re coming in!”

Left outside with Asahina-san and Nagato, I prayed for my bride’s wellbeing. Intervention from me was clearly the opposite of what she wanted right now. For someone so bold, she really was easily embarrassed.  

Anyway, we had even bigger fish to fry on a day that was beginning to qualify as a community barbecue for the fishmongers of the world. Leading my co-conspirators away from the door into an empty room, I gave Asahina-san a rundown of the situation.

“I think it’s called a chrono-shift. Nagato told me her understanding of it, but I’d appreciate it if I could hear yours as well.” What do you think? Cooler than admitting I had no idea what she was talking about, right?

“A – a chrono-shift…” Asahina-san performed the same clock-based experiment I had a little while earlier, minus a slave to hold her eyes open. “Oh no…what are we…what are we going to do?!” Her big amber eyes began shaking like a farm animal that had wandered too close to the electric fence. This didn’t look good. On my wedding, of all days - !

“Asahina-san, is it really that big of a problem? Can’t we fix it?”

Asahina-san shook her head. “A chrono-shift is…the time that we’re in is running differently from the time in the rest of the world. It will only run the same when we’re observing the time, on a clock or a phone or a…classified information…” She looked around nervously, only just remembering to censor herself in her panic. “But it will reset as soon as we look away!”

I scratched my head and thought it over. “Then to escape the chrono-shift, can’t we just go to an area where time is moving normally?”

“If it doesn’t cover the entire building then it should be fine…the wedding could still happen that way…but there’s no telling how large the chrono-shift is; sometimes it can cover districts, cities, countries, planets…”

My hand clapped against my forehead in despair. Planets?! You’re kidding. It was tough enough to get this venue, I’m not about to navigate the Martian marriage services!

“Asahina-san, isn’t there something we can do? Nagato said we might be able to, uh, ‘reverse the eruption’ with time travel technology.”

“Yes, but something of that scale…we’d need the classified information of the classified information, right in the heart of the classified information!” Asahina-san’s terrified babble was barely making sense anymore. “My TPDD just isn’t enough…I’m sorry, Kyon-kun…on your wedding day…”

“It’s okay, Asahina-san.” I reassured her. “We don’t know how large the chrono-shift is, do we? There’s still a chance we can get out of it and time can move normally again.” I turned to the silent alien next to me. “Nagato, I’m sorry for always relying on you like this, but do you think you could find Koizumi while Asahina-san and I check the grounds? He might be in my dressing room, if you know where that is.”

I had already sent Taniguchi on Search & Recon, but now I had Nagato at hand, I wasn’t going to rely on a half-trained mutt over a SR-71 reconnaissance jet.

She nodded. “Where should I bring them?”

“Oh, uh, the dressing room is fine.”

She gave another nod, announced she was leaving (a cute courtesy she never used to do), and softly stepped out of the room. Now it was just me and Asahina-san. I fully intended to check the grounds with her, but there was something else I wanted to check with her first.

“It’s okay, Asahina-san. You can stop acting now.”

The trembling Asahina-san froze. “Wha-what?”

I rubbed my hand against the back of my head. “I’ve never told you this, but I’ve met the future you more than a few times. You came back in time again to help me out. You can’t be too far from her in age now, and you look a lot like her…so I figure you must behave a lot like her too, when you’re in private.”

Asahina-san looked at me, agog, like a prey animal sizing up a new invader into its territory, discerning whether it’s a threat. I looked back at her with the gentlest expression I could manage; my usual slumped shoulders and casual demeanour hopefully communicated my very real ease with the whole situation.

Asahina-san brushed her hair a little from her forehead. “I really am nervous, though.” She told me in a mature and familiar voice. When she lifted her face, it was as though the future Asahina-san was standing in her place. “I’m sorry, Kyon-kun. For everything…”

I gave a small smile. I knew I was right. Koizumi suggested something like this to me ages ago, but I never bought the convoluted conspiracy theory that went along with it. It was just a hunch, really. How does the saying go? ‘Takes one to know one’.

“It’s fine, Asahina-san. They were your orders, right? We’ve all been keeping secrets.”

Tears, real tears were brimming at the corners of her eyes. She lifted her finger and brushed them aside.

“Kyon-kun…only you would understand…only you…” Though much more controlled than the ‘younger’ Asahina-san, her voice was still shaky. “I wish…” But whatever it is she was going to say, I never found out. Her sentence trailed off into the past forever. After a tremulous breath, she asked:

“Do you want to know why?”

I shook my head.

“That’s not really important to me. Even if you weren’t being honest with me, everything’s turned out pretty much exactly how I would have wanted it. I can’t blame you for that, Asahina-san. But can I just ask you one thing?”

She breathed in, bringing her emotions under control. “Yes?”

“Were you always the way you are now?”

She offered me a sad smile. “I was never quite the way I presented myself to you. But I was a lot closer to that person I was pretending to be than I am now. I really was young, scared, inexperienced…I just knew what I was doing a little more than I let on.”

I nodded, satisfied.  I was relieved, to tell the truth. I was glad the Asahina-san I knew wasn’t a total fabrication.

“Then, were you really taking your revenge on Haruhi just now?” I asked with a turn of my lip.

“I-I wasn’t!” She pouted, before allowing a smirk and a giggle. “Well…maybe a little. But those are all fond, fond memories to me now.”

Her words reminded me of something. “Oh, Asahina-san, is it alright if I ask you one more thing?”

She looked up at me expectantly.

“What’s your real age?”

She smiled and cutesily brought a finger to her lip.

“Classified information!”

We laughed at the nostalgic scene. I was struck by just how well our friendship had survived this, and above all else, how relieved Asahina-san looked. I wondered whether it would be the same with Haruhi…whether the knot in my chest would unravel if I only found the courage to tell her.

Remembering we had a major problem at hand, the two of us set out on our clock-hunt. As soon as we left the room, Asahina-san morphed back into the shy girl we all knew so well. She may have been discovered by me, but she needed to keep up appearances for the world at large. It was bizarre and a little funny to watch, but at the same time, I was feeling the burden of yet another secret.

We searched a good half of the premises, and everywhere we went, the clocks were the same. The president of North High’s computer society, who Haruhi had somehow blackmailed into coming, eventually allowed us to look at his swanky atomic watch. Unfortunately, even that was subject to the chrono-shift. Let this be a lesson to all you youngsters out there – there are two things money can’t buy you: happiness, and freedom from the relentless flux of space-time.

When we had exhausted the upstairs rooms and were heading back down to the ground floor, I was ambushed outside my dressing room by a wild Taniguchi.

“KYON! Finally! You’re a hard man to find! Come on, I got him, I got him!”

Taniguchi was dragging me into my room by my tie, a privilege I typically reserve for Haruhi, but I forgave him when I saw he was as good as his word. Sitting across from me on a stool and a chair were Nagato and Koizumi.

“Welcome back. I have your ‘real’ cufflinks.” Koizumi sneaked out sardonically from behind his obsequious smile.

“Man, all that fuss for a pair of cufflinks!” Taniguchi was going off. “You know, I thought he was a member of staff! Who goes around cleaning clocks when there’s a wedding on? There’s no way you can make this guy your Best Man, Kyon – ”

“Good work, Taniguchi.” I slapped his back amicably. “Now I need you to find my real tie.”

“EUCH?!” Taniguchi was so shocked he evidently slipped into the memories of his past life as a Munich cobbler. “Why would you need a temporary tie?!”

“Because certain people think it’s okay to tug on the groom’s tie half an hour before his wedding.” I glowered at him.

Taniguchi was downcast in sour defeat, before suddenly, his ears pricked up.

“Eh? Half an hour?”

He looked at the clock. Dammit. A thousand plagues upon my loose tongue. The eyes of all the room were on him, and I wondered how many excuses were being collectively thought up over the duration of those agonising seconds. At least enough to power a small Honda Civic.

“Hmm. Guess I was quicker than I thought!” Taniguchi grinned. “Alright, I’ll find your stupid tie in no time!” He marched off, without me telling him where to find it. I was smart to make friends with such an idiot.

The tension in the room diffused as the time traveller and I stood facing our resident alien and esper.

“Well,” Koizumi motioned to the clock. “It seems we have plenty of time to explain.”

And explain we did. Koizumi had noticed our temporal jam a while ago and had been testing all the clocks Asahina-san and I hadn’t reached. It was then Taniguchi grabbed hold of him and led him in several different wrong directions until Nagato rescued them. From Koizumi’s findings, it seemed the entire venue was caught up in this chrono-shift.

“So what, are we going to have to cancel the wedding?” I moaned. I wasn’t sure how I felt about that, but I certainly felt something. Something like disappointment meets relief meets confusion meets me throwing my entire emotional computer out the window, I don’t know.

“We needn’t go to such lengths.” Koizumi smiled. “Although it would be easier if that were the case. However, I am not so sure this is a spacial issue at all.”

“Eh?” Asahina-san reacted. “But, Koizumi-kun…a chrono-shift is a space-time phenomenon…”

“Indeed. Perhaps I should clarify. It is a spacial issue, but perhaps not in the way we typically think of space. Rather than a segment of land being affected by this shift, it is my belief that it is merely the space between our skulls.”

An eerie silence permeated the room.

“And those of all the other guests.” Koizumi finished, with serious eyes undermining his easy smile.

“S-so…” Asahina-san began, “Koizumi-kun is saying…the guests are caught up in the chrono-shift, not the venue?”

“Hold on,” I interrupted. “If that’s true, Koizumi, we can never escape the shift. If it’s occurring inside ourselves, we’ll be stuck here forever!”

“So it would seem.” Koizumi bowed his head as he stared at his wringed hands. “Time has frozen within us…rather poetic, don’t you think? But perhaps now is not the time to be waxing lyrical.”

“This theory.” Nagato gave him a blank stare. “Where did you get it from?”

She had been doing this for years now, but it still warmed my heart to see Nagato actually interacting us like a regular person. At least, it typically would if my head wasn’t thumping like Goliath playing the bongos. Time frozen forever? What would that even look like? Would I ever see the night sky again, or catch a train again, or talk to anyone who wasn’t a wedding guest?

Would I ever marry Haruhi?

“It is simply my analysis of Suzumiya-san’s mental state.” Koizumi shrugged. “Working on the assumption that she created this chrono-shift, what purpose do you think it serves?”

I wracked my brains for an answer. Why would Haruhi want to freeze time? On today of all days? The day Koizumi said would make Haruhi so happy the Agency wouldn’t have to worry about any extraordinary phenomena occurring for at least a few months?

“It couldn’t be…”

“Oh? It looks like you’re catching on.”

“You’re telling me that Haruhi…has displaced us in time…”

“Yes…”

“…because she has cold feet?!”

Asahina-san looked at Nagato. Nagato looked at me. I looked at Koizumi.

Koizumi smiled.

“Can’t you relate?”

Well, yes, I could, but…

…

For crying out loud, Haruhi!

Koizumi and Asahina-san were debating whether that necessarily meant the chrono-shift was targeting us individually or whether she just placed it on the venue, but I couldn’t pay attention to any of that nonsense. I was just too mad.

“Oh? Where are you going?” Koizumi asked me as my hand reached for the doorknob.

“To see Haruhi.”

“Oh my. Isn’t it bad luck for the groom to see the bride before the wedding?”

“You’re telling me at this rate, there won’t be a wedding. The entire life I’ve planned with Haruhi will never happen!” Unconsciously, I had raised my voice. Glancing behind my shoulder, I could see the others staring at me in surprise. That didn’t stop me, though.

“I let Haruhi get away with a whole lot…but cancelling our wedding? Fat chance!”

With that, I barged through the door and slammed it behind me. Just you wait, Haruhi. I’m going to give you a real talking-to. I don’t care if I get bad luck. I’d break a thousand mirrors if it meant getting out of this chrono-bullshit. I’m going to marry you in half an hour. I swear it.

Besides, I’d already seen the bride in quite a bit of detail today.

When I reached Haruhi’s floor, I was panting for air. I had ran again, unnecessarily, but I wasn’t going to postpone this any longer. I strode towards the door and fought off the waves of dizziness, the black knot tightening itself inside my chest. Yanking forth my courage, I knocked thrice.

“Ehhh? Who is it?” I heard my sister’s voice ask.

“It’s me. I’m coming in.”

Mass panic shook the other side of the room, and I opened the door as slowly yet confidently as possible. By the time I opened my eyes, Haruhi was facing the curtained window, hastily pulling the zip up on her bodice.

There was a long brunette ponytail before me, held fast by yellow ribbon and streaming over an almost naked back. Beneath that, a shapely white dress exploded into a fluff of silky flares. When she turned towards me, her dress flew like a swan mid-flight. It was – in a word – divine.

It was only the familiar irritation in those caramel brown eyes that reminded me, with comfort, that this really was Haruhi.

Supposedly, this woman was meant to be some kind of deity, and sometimes I really could believe it. It scared the crap out of me just then, just like it had when I woke up this morning in a cold sweat and a sinking feeling warring against a rapidly beating heart. I had felt as though, this was too much for me, or more accurately, like I couldn’t possibly deserve this.

But seeing her cute glare made me remember that this wasn’t a god I was looking at. How could it be? Theorise all you want, Koizumi, but as far as I was concerned, Haruhi was just Haruhi. That was the woman I was marrying, not God, not the potential for auto-evolution or a time-warp or whatever else you want to call her – all that’s unverifiable anyway. As usual, I was the only one in this damn brigade with my head on straight. I believe the evidence before my eyes, and the only thing I knew for sure was that this bold, forceful, chaotic girl was Suzumiya Haruhi, and that when she was with me I felt a certain something fill up my soul. What that something is, I’ll leave to you guys. I’ve got a pretty good idea, though.

While these thoughts were going through my head, absolutely nothing was escaping my mouth. I was feeling pretty pleased with myself, but Haruhi obviously found our staring contest kind of awkward.

“W-well?!” Her furiously blushing face asked. “What is it?!”

Now I was blushing. I did my best to recover my cool and issued a command to all Haruhi’s hanger-ons.

“Everyone out!”

Kunikida gladly took the opportunity and bumped straight into me, before remembering to pull his tie off his eyes and running for freedom. The others were less enthusiastic.

“Haaah? Dumb Kyon, who do you think you are to order me about in my own dressing room? I’m Brigade Leader, you know!” Haruhi objected, snorting like a bull.

“Not you, Haruhi. You stay here.” I turned to Tsuruya-san and my sister. “You two, get out.”

“Hmm?” Tsuruya-san was undeterred, her wicked smile welcoming the challenge. “Can’t you wait until the wedding, Kyon-kun? Or do you want a last piece of young love before the marriage bed sucks it all away?”

“KYON-KUN!” Began my sister, again. “I’M HARUHI-NEE’S BRIDESMAID, AND – ”

“If you don’t get out I’ll tell Mum and Dad who broke the TV!” I threatened her.

My sister deflated like Aeolus’ bag of winds.

“Y-you wouldn’t…ohhh…” Compliantly and resentfully, she traipsed out.  Now only my greatest foe remained. Fortunately, I had a plan.

“Tsuruya-san, please leave. It’s just as you said: I’m going to make love to Haruhi.”

A high-pitched squeal escaped from Haruhi. “Wh-wh-wh-wh-what?! Kyon! What are you saying?!”

“Eh?” Tsuruya-san looked at me as if she didn’t quite understand. “Eh? Eh eh? That was a joke…you’re joking, right? Right?”

I stared her down like I was the protagonist in the sequel to that cowboy movie I mentioned at our last showdown.

“Eh? Eh? Eh eh eh?” Tsuruya-san was colouring red. “Eh? Ah…eh?”

She turned around and walked from the room in a total daze. When I saw the chance, I slammed the door behind her. Tsuruya-san, your bark is so much worse than your bite. I pray for your swift recovery.

Haruhi backed up against the window with her fists out in front of her in what looked like an entirely new martial art.

“B-back off Kyon! We’re going to get married, you know?! There’s no time for that kind of thing…” Her flushed cheeks made her pout extra cute. “Geez, you’re always so needy…”

“That’s you, isn’t it?” I sighed with some affection. Really. Her face had sucked all my righteous anger out of me. Guess I should prepare for my life as a doormat husband. “Relax, Haruhi. That’s not why I’m here.”

I walked up to her and plonked my hands on her shoulders. She squeaked and her big eyes stared up at me with apprehension.

“Haruhi…how are you feeling?”

Her cheeks puffed out as she geared up to vehemently reject the supposition that anything was wrong with her. But just as soon, they deflated, and her face fell with her silence. We’d been in a relationship too long for any of the emotional drama of our teenage years, so we’d been approaching something like honesty. One big hurdle still remained for me, though.

All of a sudden, Haruhi barrelled into my chest and a disorienting warmth rammed through me like a bolt from a ballista. She was clenching my lapels, holding them with all her strength, rubbing her head against my chest, taking in my scent. Shaking.

“Even though I’ve wanted this for so long…”

I pressed my arm against her back and pulled her closer. Oh, Haruhi.

“Even though I’ve wanted this for so long,” her muffled voice repeated. “I’m still scared…”

It’s normal, you know, Haruhi? Cold feet. That’s what I wanted to say.

But then she said something else.

“…Of what you might say…”

My eyes widened. So this wasn’t just cold feet. There was something more to this, something I was completely unaware of: something I hadn’t noticed because I was too busy worrying about my own secrets.

“Haruhi…”

I really was a hopeless man. Very well then, Haruhi, I’ll take responsibility. I’ll tell you what I know you need to hear. It shouldn’t be too hard: it’s the truth, after all.

“No matter what you tell me…no matter what you haven’t told me…there’s no way I could leave you, you know?” I drew us apart just enough so I could look into her puffy red eyes. “First of all, you’ve thoroughly domesticated me. If I went back out there into the big wide world without you, I’d be eaten up in a heartbeat.” She couldn’t help but smile at that, which made me smile too. “And secondly…I’ve seen the world without you in it. I don’t want to go back there.”

I didn’t expect her to understand what I was talking about, since the events of that Christmas had been forgotten by everyone but Nagato and me. Still, it seemed to reassure her. After a little while, she drew in a breath, tried to say something, failed, and, in classic Haruhi style, tried a second time but louder.

“S-so, you don’t blame me?!”

“Huh?” I was completely taken aback.

“You don’t blame me?!” Her expression was intensely earnest, like a dam had exploded within her and she was awash with the power and relief of the flow.

“Why…why would I blame you?” I lifted my hands up in genuine confusion at the bouncing fireball beneath me.

“I mean!” Haruhi turned away from me now and paced back and forth, looking at everything else in the room. “I made you do all these crazy things you didn’t want to, just because you started talking to me…you just wanted a normal high school life, but because I was bored, I dragged you into all of it and…now you’re marrying me, but do you really want that, Kyon? Do you really…” She bit her lip and cautiously, fearfully, dared to look up at me. “…want me?”

I blinked at her, and stayed quiet for longer than was good for her peace of mind. It wasn’t that I had to think about the answer; I was just so shocked. This had been your reason for worrying all this time? This was your reason for stopping time? It was never about her at all. It was just about me…

“Wh-why are you laughing?!” Haruhi’s trembling, embarrassed face was doing its best to be menacing, but nothing would work. I just couldn’t stop laughing. It was so stupid.

“Haruhi,” I made out when I recovered myself, “I do have free will, you know? I’m not just a puppet dancing on your strings.”

“O-of course I know that!” Now she was indignant. “That’s why I was asking – ”

“Haruhi, if I really felt that way, why would I have proposed? Or heck, before that, why would I have even asked you out? Or in the very beginning, why do you think I went to the SOS Brigade after school every day? I could have ditched you anytime I wanted.” A smile crept up my face unwares. I felt truly, truly happy. “But I wouldn’t change anything in these last seven years. Not a bit of it.”

Really, Haruhi, I had realised all this in the first year I met you. For a multi-talent super-genius, you really are dense. Our eyes looked into each other’s for a good minute, and inside her gaze I saw a churning sea of raw feeling, shifting, changing, like a subatomic particle. It was seriously enchanting to look at, and I could have stayed there for the rest of our endless time, but a bear hug from Haruhi knocked me back to the outside world.

“Stupid Kyon…” She muttered. She sounded happy herself – so happy I could hardly picture the gloomy girl who sat in front of me on the first day of High School. Really, how far we’d come.

Or, no, not quite yet.

“…Say it…”

“Hm?”

“Say you’ll marry me!”

“I just said I wouldn’t leave you, didn’t I? And in the first place, isn’t that what the vows are for!?”

“Just say it, Kyon! Do what I tell you to already…”

I chewed on my thoughts. Haruhi had borne herself to me, her whole self, secrets, regrets and all. It was time for me to step up too. Hopefully she would just laugh it off like I had, but whatever might happen, it needed to be said. If I turned back without saying it, I knew I couldn’t forgive myself.

“No.”

“N-no?” Haruhi’s frail voice repeated.

“No. Not yet. First…”

I pulled us apart more urgently this time, and now it was my turn to cling onto her for security as my hands gently squeezed her shoulders. Damn the consequences. This wasn’t anything new. I had the balls to do it before, so I might as well do it now, and if the universe explodes, well, the universe explodes. The universe should get a hobby instead of interfering with my relationship with Haruhi all the time. It’s been third wheeling through our whole relationship, you know? It’s super awkward, and I’m fed up with it.

I said a silent apology to the others, but what happened now was just between me and Haruhi, and no-one else.

“Haruhi, there’s something I need to tell you.”

--

“It would seem the time has come at last.” Koizumi jested, invading my personal space enough for Taniguchi and Kunikida not to hear. “Whatever you did back there, it seems to have worked. Nagato-san hasn’t detected any fluctuations since you reported back to us.”

“Well, don’t jinx it. I’ve been waiting for this long enough.”

In the last twenty minutes, with the help of my male companions including a returning baffled Taniguchi, I had patted down my suit, mastered my hair, and fixed my tie so perfectly that no further fiddling was necessary. As I stood in front of the door to the main hall, waiting for the ceremony preparations to begin, I found my nervousness had disappeared. I was confident – even excited. Koizumi, sly as he was, evidently caught on to this.

“Would I be right in saying the chrono-shift wasn’t the only thing you fixed?”

I couldn’t help but let loose a smile.

“Something like that.”

“Well, I wish you two the utmost happiness.” Koizumi’s face was painted with his usual cheery smile, but I felt a cold stab like the kind a resurrected blue-haired AI might give. I hadn’t forgotten what the other Koizumi had told me in that transformed world.

“Koizumi.” I turned to face him. “I’m glad you’re here.”

The fake smile paused, before settling into a much more genuine one.

“And I am genuinely happy for the two of you. You must believe me when I say that. And not just for the Agency’s sake.” He brought a finger thoughtfully to his chin. “Although, if you’re so glad I’m here, you could have at least made me your Best Man.”

Yare yare. Him too? I gave a good-natured sigh and an exaggerated shrug. “Sorry, I’ve just known Kunikida longer than anyone else. Besides, if you gave a speech you would just start talking about the Anthropic Principle or Schrodinger’s Cat or some other stuff that would send our audience to sleep.”

Koizumi chuckled. “Fair enough. Your wedding, at least, deserves to be a day off from the problems facing the make-up of reality. It really is unfortunate the chrono-shift occurred when it did.”

“No,” I shook my head. “I think it occurred at just the right time.”

“Oh?” Koizumi looked interested, but didn’t follow up.

A brief period of silence ensued as I contemplated the doors. What would happen from here? I would stand at the end of the end of the hall with Kunikida, and wait for Haruhi to emerge from the other side of the room arm-in-arm with her old man and her chaotic quartet of bridesmaids in hot pursuit. Then we would hold each other’s hands before the officiant, say our vows…you know, if the officiant calls me Kyon, I think I’m going to cry.

“Kyon.” Kunikida tapped me on the shoulder. “It’s time.”

I placed my hand on the doorknob with gravitas. Before I was ready to open it, a meaningless thought occurred to me.

“Ah…I hope Haruhi’s washed her face since then. It’d be bad if people thought she’d been crying on her wedding day for the wrong reasons.”

“I’m sure she’s already beaming from ear to ear.” Koizumi assured me. “And I don’t think Suzumiya-san will care much for what her poor guests might think. You might as well be the whole universe to her today; the rest of us will just be specks in the corner of her eye.”

I smirked as I turned the handle.

“Are you kidding me? This is Haruhi we’re talking about, remember? She might love me, but she also loves aliens, time travellers and espers.”

As I stepped through the door, I turned my head back to Koizumi.

“After the ceremony, good luck prising her away from you guys. You’ll have a lot of catching up to do.”

As mine and Kunikida’s footsteps echoed against the polished wooden floor, I heard Koizumi, after a spell of stunned silence, begin to ever-so-weakly tell me to wait. But in the end, it just devolved into a tremendous chuckling. I smiled and fixed my eyes ahead of me.

Haruhi had known me long enough now to tell when I’m being serious. What had worried me was how she would feel about us hiding it from her all these years, but it turned out I was being just as stupid as she was.

Like Haruhi would ever turn up the opportunity to play with aliens, time travellers and espers.

[pcktsprgrl]

Coronation Of A Flame Part 8

Part 1  Part 2  Part 3  Part 4 NSFW  Part 4 Edited  Part 5   Part 6  Part 7

Fandom: The Royal Romance

Pairings: Hana X MC(Riley)

Authors Notes:  Chapter 8 or the Epilogue! Another big thank you to everyone who has read/liked/reblogged/commented on this fic. It means so much to have people enjoying my writing. This chapter might be a tiny bit self indulgent, but here it is!

Enjoy ~PSG

Rating: I guess general?

Publish Date: 3/2/18

Chap 8:  Forever (Epilogue)

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters. Maybe MC's parents since I don't think they ever made an appearance in pixelberry's story(yet)?

It took less than a month for the courts to rule against Olivia's aunt. Olivia cringed as the judge passed down the sentence, guilty of treason and life imprisonment. “I am trully alone now.” Olivia whispered.

You place your hand on her hand and she looks at you in surprise. “You're not alone, though.” you smile softly at her and she just blinks at you in surprise.

“Yeah you got all of us!” Maxwell adds excitedly with his best smile.

“Heaven help me..” Olivia rolls her eyes and tries to scowl but can't surpress the smile on her face. She stands and starts towards the back of the courthouse where Liam and a dozen royal guards wait to escort all of you past the press. Liam smiles and offers her his arm which she gladly accepts.

As the doors open the bulbs flash and the sound of every person in the press vying for attention over the others is nearly deafening. Olivia simply schools her features and walks chin held high past them all. You can't help but grin at her.

~~

6 months later....

Eee you squeal in joy and rush down the stairs of your duchy much faster than your feet could carry you. "They're here!" you shout to no one inparticular as you half trip to a stop at the front of the door. Flinging it open to find your parents gaping at your new home. You leap at them gathering them in a tight embrace. "Oh hey there sweetie!" your mom responds wrapping both arms around you. You breath in her scent and a thousand childhood memories come flooding back. "Hey there Peanut." your dad smiles patting your back lovingly. "Daaaad" you say faking exasperation with an exaggerated eyeroll. " you pull back and stare at them lovingly. " I've missed you guys." You dad fakes clearing his throat and you and your mom exchange a knowing glance. You both have long since figured out its his way of choking back tears. "Sooo this is your new place huh?" he exclaims eyes wide as he whistles. "Your mother and I may just quit our jobs and move here with you."

"There's plenty of rooms." a voice startles you and you spin to see Hana standing timidly a few feet away. You smile and reach your hand to her. "It's good to see you again, Mr and Mrs Abel." Your mom smiles brightly at her. "Great seeing you again too, but maybe call me mom? We are about to be family." A blush creeps up Hana's cheeks but she smiles and nods. ~~~~~ Its a week before the wedding and no word has come from Hana's parents. She doesn't say anything but you can see the hurt in her eyes. You chew the inside of your cheek as you listen to her playing the piano tiredly. She stops when she notices you in the doorway and she blushes.

“I love hearing you play. ” you whisper and glance down at your hands. She smiles and pats the bench beside her and you walk over.

“Was that a new piece?” you inquire.

“Sort of.” she comments then begins playing something soft and gentle and you sigh as you lean against her shoulder and close your eyes. Letting the feeling of the music and her body warmth overtake you. Your eyes pop open when the tune goes from some classic song you can't place to a tune you'd know anywhere.

“If the song I play to you. Could fill your heart with joy. I'd play forever” she starts quietly singing while playing, changing the words slightly. You raise your head and smile at her as she continues.

“I asked the sky just what we had. It showed forever.” she keeps playing but bites her lip trying to remember the rest of the words.

“If every word I said could make you laugh... I'd talk forever..” you sing while looking at her and she glances at you out of the corner of her eye. She stops playing her hands resting her fingers on the keys.

“Was my singing that bad?” you try to joke but when she looks at you, your face falls.

“I know I shouldn't but..I..wish..” her voice trails off and you take one of her hands.

“You absolutely should want to. In fact you deserve that much, Hana.” she looks at you in surprise.

“Your parents, right?” you raise your eyebrows. She glances at your intertwined fingers and runs her thumb over your knuckles.

“They weren't always.” she sighs deeply. “I mean I didn't always view them...”  she sighs again and runs her free hand over her face and through her hair.  “I guess none of that is completely true. But I just wish for once thay'd be happy for me, and support what I want. Everything I did because they wanted me to. I wish they'd accept how happy I am, and the woman I love.” She frowns.

You run your thumb over her cheeks wiping at tears. “I know. I remember when I first told my parents.” you chuckle then clear your throat awkwardly. “I'm sorry I can't give you what your parents wanted.” you retract your hand suddenly insecure.

Hana's chin falls. “But you're what I want..and they need to accept that.”

~~~~ You and your friends are all gathered in the great hall having lunch when a few guards come in. "More guests have arrived." they announce and you glance at everyone. "Send them in." you command as all eyes are on the door Hana's parents come into view. She starts to smile but it falls and she bites nervously at her lip. You stand and make your way towards them. Extending your hand and smiling warmly. "Mr and Mrs Lee, welcome." they both bow to you. "Your Grace. " their greetings are stiff and formal. Hana makes her way over and stands slightly behind you, her gaze on the floor. "Welcome to my," you stop for a moment taking Hana's hand, "...our home." she smiles at you. "It is quite lovely." Mrs Lee remarks. "We were just having lunch would you care to join?" you inquire. "Oh no, we couldn't impose. Besides," Mr Lee stops clearing his throat. "We really should get to our hotel." he trails off studying Hana who is looking at your intertwined fingers. "Nonsense! Have a seat and there's plenty of room here." you smile. Mr and Mrs Lee share a stunned look but nod in agreement. You start back to the table when you feel a small pull and notice Mr Lee has taken Hana by the arm. The guards step forward aggressively as fire tingles at the finger tips of your free hand. "I really must insist on borrowing my daughter." Mr Lee starts commandingly then his eyes widen as he notices the fire. "Please?" Mr Lee asks almost timidly. Hana's mouth falls open and she nods at you. You kiss her cheek and rejoin your friends.

°°°°Hana's pov°°°°

You stand there looking at the floor slightly glancing at your parents. "I suppose there's no way to convince you to give up this nonsense amd come home?" You scowl and your head shoots up. "Nonsense!?" you practically shout and the guards step forward. Your parents seem taken aback by your outburst so you use the opportunity to continue. "So my happiness is nonsense? I thought you wanted status? I am marrying a Duchess, or have you forgotten?" you cock your head to the side and place your hands on your hips. "Come now Hana this is quite out of proportion." your father says stiffly. "Neville was a perfectly nice young man." your mother adds softly. You scoff. "Nice for you maybe. But nothing I want matters, right? I did everything and still I wasn't good enough." you sigh taking a deep breath. "Riley has opened our home to you, I want you at my wedding but I won't have you ruining it. I love Riley and she makes me happy." you voice trails off as your parents gawk at you, you feel suddenly small and exposed. Your parents glance at each other then sigh. "Oh, very well. I guess she is technically royalty now." °°°Riley's Pov°°°° Sevral long stressful minutes later Hana rejoins you at your side while Mr and Mrs Lee take the spaces you hand arranged for them. You look at her questioningly but she just smiles at you.

~~~~~

Its the day of the wedding and you stand nervously in front of your family and friends. You shift from foot to foot. "Maybe she ran off?" Drake leans forward from his spot behind you and smirks. You scowl and elbow him. Your dad just shakes his head and pats your arm encouragingly. You look up at the crystal blue sky and breath in deep. Glancing at Liam who stands ready to perform the ceremony. The music starts and everyone's attention goes to the back of the gardens. Your breath hitches as you see Hana slowly making her way down the aisle toward you. She's dressed all in white with a veil covering most of her face the bouquet is purple and green flowers with babies breath. Hana's father walks stiffly beside her but she just seems to glide towards you. With them standing right in front of you, you cant help the excited giddy feeling. Hana's dad lifts her veil kissing her cheek then placing her hand in yours as he does so your dad reaches forward cupping his hand underneath. "Who gives these women?" Liam asks. Your dad and Hana's take their turns stating that they do and your dad squeezes your shoulder and smiles softly at you before taking his place next to your mom. You turn your attention back to Hana and she's beaming at you. You blink rapidly to avoid the tears. Liam smiles fondly at you both before continuing. "I understand you both have prepared something?" You both nod wordlessly. "The rings please?" you turn and retrieve your ring from Maxwell. Sliding it slowly onto Hana's finger. "I.." you begin then clear your throat. "I came here not really sure what to expect.. That's good because I never in my wildest dreams would've expected you. It scared me at first but you quickly became my world, and now I can't imagine my life without you. I'm not very good with words but I promise that I will always be there and you will always be everything to me." Hana smiles at you as tears form behind her eyes. She reaches to get the ring from Olivia then turns to slide it on your finger. Her hands tremble slightly. "You made me feel special and important like I never thought possible. We found each other under strange circumstances and despite my best efforts not to, I fell for you. I wouldn't trade a minute of anything with you. I feel like I've loved you before and I know I will love you forever." you stare in each other's eyes you reach out to cup her cheek. "By my power as king of Cordonia I now pronounce you uh wife and wife? You may kiss your bride."

You stare at her for a long moment before slowly taking her into your arms and kissing her softly. Your friends cheer and clap enthusiastically, as you rest your forwards together and both of you begin to laugh.

You smile at her and take her hand as you both run down the aisle amidst a shower of bubbles and make your way to the carriage. Hana turns and flings the bouquet over her head. It lands directly in the arms of Olivia.

The driver clicks his tongue and the carriage learches forward. You produce a scroll from under the seat. Clearing your throat you hand the scroll to Hana. "Since Im not good with words I wrote this poem out I heard one time. I was pretty good at calligraphy once upon a time.." You bite your lip nervously as she smiles unrolls it, reading outloud. 'Equal to a god, that person seems to me. That is, whoever sits across from you, so close, savouring your sweet voice... and your thrilling laugh, that makes my heart reel inside my breast. For when I look at you, even for an instant, speech becomes impossible. words desert me, my tongue broken, as a swift, subtle flame spreads throughout my skin. My eyes are blinded, roaring fills my ears, cold sweat cascades over me, and trembling assaults me. I am greener than the grass, and in my desperation, I seem to have come to the very threshold of Death. For I am dying, of such love. But still I must endure all of this...' She swallows, her voice shaky and tears slowly roll down her cheeks. "I.. Didn't get you anything." she whispers softly.

"Oh, yes you did." you smile and take her into your arms kissing her once more. ~~~

Well that’s the end! But who knows when the next assassins will pop up and The Flame will be needed again? 

The poem is by Sappho Translated by Alexiares

The Song is called Forever by Jessie and The Rippers

[journeysintowebcomics]

Homestuck Liveblog #151

UPDATE 151: This Feels like the Climax of Homestuck

Last time Jade had definitely died, and had appeared in Calliope’s solitary place in the dream bubbles. She also seems to have brought a stage, but that’s not confirmed. In Jade’s planet, the chaos continues. Jake continues having that huge hope field around him, and Imaginary Dirk has just gained physicality. That’s the power of hope! So let’s continue.

Aranea is rather careful to keep her hands away from the blade Dirk is moving around, but that doesn’t stop Dirk from attempting to kill her through stabbing and slicing. She heals pretty much immediately, all while casually commenting how giving detailed explanations would logically cause trouble for her. Perhaps Roxy and Dirk could try together to take off the ring somehow? There must be some way to do it!

ARANEA: What kind of sport would I 8e if I didn't give you a fair shot at defeating me?  ARANEA: In fact, to show you what a generous and honora8le opponent I am, I will give you one free chance at disarming me.  ARANEA: I won't move an inch. I promise! Surely with your speed and swordsmanship, it will 8e a piece of cake.  ARANEA: Well?  ARANEA: Go on, Dirk. Have at it.

...uh. That’s...definitely a trap, somehow. I just can’t see how, exactly, but it must be. Aranea wouldn’t just stick her hand like that without a way to stop it. Who knows, maybe by psychically controlling the sword or something? It doesn’t really matter the how, it just won’t work.

On the ground, Terezi continues attacking Gamzee with as much fury as she can muster, and all Gamzee does is smile like a dope. Hm. He wouldn’t die in a moment like this, would he? It’d be kind of anticlimactic for him to go down without even saying a word. Also, Jane watched it for several minutes because why not. Hah! But yeah, she’s now prepared – again – to resurrect Jade.

Oh, wow, Jade looks pretty intact for someone who got crushed by a building! Thank our lucky stars, everyone, that could have been nasty. But yeah, looks like three hours passed and now everyone who was in the vicinity of the session is arriving. Shouldn’t be long before Dirk and the other two Jacks arrive! Wow, this all is starting to look like the climax to Homestuck! That’s great! I know it isn’t true, though, the page number doesn’t match what I know. I’m aware Homestuck ends in like the 10000 mark or so? I don’t think these scenes will last two thousand pages.

Dave is threatening Jack and the...the...the Mendicant – almost forgot her name – with the sword, telling them to let Jade alone. Hm, guess the part of them that is Bec has completely overtaken them for the moment, I can’t imagine the Mendicant behaving like this otherwise. Dave tries to appeal to them with the promise of dog treats, but...somehow that doesn’t work. Man, things are getting complicated in here, aren’t they?

Meanwhile, things are much calmer in Calliope’s tiny world, where she’s trying to jog Jade’s memory to hear what’s going on outside. Um...I’m not sure...you want to hear what’s going on, Calliope. It’s not a pretty picture. There’s the possibility of using her anti-sleeping majyyk to try to wake up Jade, but doesn’t want to because then she’d be alone again. Jade, bless her sweet soul, is sympathetic and says there’s no hurry to wake up. Really missed you, Jade.

JADE: but i have this awful feeling something bad happened  JADE: specifically something that happened because of me 

Boy is that an understatement. I’m glad there’s a sympathetic ear here that can help calm her down once she remembers. Jade even has the feeling she hurt some people. Thankfully for her, she changes topics by asking Calliope’s name and complimenting her trollsona.

JADE: do you think i could make a trollsona too?  CALLIOPE: oh, yes!  CALLIOPE: that woUld be so lovely.  CALLIOPE: can i help?  JADE: sure!  CALLIOPE: which blood coloUr woUld yoU choose?  JADE: the BEST color obviously  JADE: which is green, DUH :p  CALLIOPE: that's the coloUr of my blood too!

Can you believe that while these two are bonding, in the waking world people are being stabbed and it’s bedlam?

JADE: callie...  JADE: there is something very familiar about you  JADE: are you sure weve never met before?  CALLIOPE: i'm qUite sUre.  CALLIOPE: i woUld certainly have remembered meeting yoU.  JADE: but you did know my name...  CALLIOPE: well, yes.  CALLIOPE: i knew OF yoU.  JADE: hmmm  JADE: i cant shake the feeling that we have spoken before  JADE: maybe in an old dream i cant remember? 

If that happened, then it wasn’t on screen. I can’t discount the possibility they did meet in the past – or the future, you know how time is wonky in Homestuck. But why would Calliope need to talk with Jade again? Just a friendly talk or would it be something plot-critical? Heck, it may even be possible it isn’t this Calliope Jade talked/will talk with.

Looks like Jade wasn’t the one to bring this stage! Strange...given the path turned bright yellow, I think there’s the possibility a Light player had something to do with this. Aranea, tell me you’re not ruining more people’s lives.

Jane continues attempting to revive Jade, but she misses her life beam and gets the Mendicant furious, ready to slice Jane’s head off, at the very least. Yeah, Bec’s portion of them has definitely overtaken them. This leaves Jane with no more option. No, she doesn’t take out her red fork to try to kill the Mendicant. She...uh...

...well I’m stumped. Jane, you do know these are dogs, right? Well, I suppose that anything that moves and makes noise could be a good distraction.

Oh, nevermind! So that was the trick here! I see! Appeal to their dog instinct and get them to chase GCat away, hopefully while leaving Jade behind. That could work!

It didn’t work. Well, looks like Jade is going to stay dead for a while longer.

Dave calls Jane hot again, and since she said she can revive Jade, he decides to lend a hand by bringing Jade’s corpse. With some luck, by the time he returns, she won’t be under the control of the tiara anymore.

Hussie, are you considering pairing Jane and Dave? Golly! Given that Dirk and Jake’s orientations wouldn’t mess well with pairing Rose and Jade with them, this is it. Can’t say I’m especially motivated regarding pairing any character in this webcomic, but I’m also not protesting anything Hussie has hinted or maybe-planned so far.

Thanks for arriving, Rose! This place needs some much needed sanity! The first thing Rose notices is Dave running away, the second she notices is Roxy in the classical Homestuck sleeping position. Speaking of that, Roxy is just not dreaming anything? Hm.

Kanaya and Karkaroni are finally arriving to Jade’s planet, running through the forest in fire.

KARKAT: GOD DAMN IT.  KARKAT: WE'RE MISSING EVERYTHING!  KARKAT: HOW MUCH BULLSHIT IS IT THAT WE'RE PRETTY MUCH THE ONLY TWO ASSHOLES LEFT WHO CAN'T FLY?!  KANAYA: It Really Is Such Bullshit

Haha! These two are going to arrive once everything is over. Karkaroni can’t catch a break. For two people who were on the planet in the first place it sure would be ironic for them to miss the meat of the action! Even Terezi, who was a few planets away – supposedly -- arrived before them! At least they were around just in time to see Dave flying by, chasing dogs.

Aranea continues holding her hand in the air and taunting Dirk to slice it off already. He seems to be hesitating, perhaps wondering what kind of trap Aranea has prepared.

DIRK: I'm not going to cut off your arm.  DIRK: It's such an obvious trap.  DIRK: You'll just put me to sleep or something. With your psychic powers, or maybe a long story.  DIRK: I have a better idea.  ARANEA: Oh?

...I didn’t think of the ‘putting to sleep’ part. Yeah, that makes sense. So instead of taking Aranea’s ring off somehow, he decides to use his powers in a way I really didn’t see coming.

DIRK: I'll rip the soul out of your body.

Is this the Prince of Heart powers? Well! That’s...not what I thought the powers of his class would mean. Not that I can say it makes me unhappy, that’s going to work! As long as Dirk has no distraction or isn’t stopped, tearing Aranea’s soul out of her body should be enough to stop her, right? There’s no way the ring can stop that...right? Things like that ring can be rather nebulous in its effects.

That looks horribly unpleasant for Aranea. Come on, Dirk, do it quicker! Aranea screams rather loudly, having underestimated her opponent just like she said Mindfang had done in the Alternia universe. History truly repeats!

In the dream bubble, Vriska refuses to listen to anything about what Aranea is doing. Aradia is just sitting on the roof, watching the cracks on reality, while Vriska and Meenah talk about what’s going on. Vriska actually has undergone some development recently, as incredible as that may sound.

VRISKA: I cringe every time I think a8out her self-indulgent exploits.  MEENAH: mhm  VRISKA: Doesn't she realize this sort of thing never works?  VRISKA: You don't just go and insert yourself into the middle of all the action in the most hamfisted way possi8le just 8ecause you can't stand another second 8eing out of the spotlight.  VRISKA: That always goes horri8ly for everyone.  VRISKA: Even worse, it ends up making you look like an idiot.  VRISKA: And even MORE worse, it's making ME look like an idiot 8y associ8tion! 

I have to wonder how much time has passed for Vriska since John came by and renounced to their friendship when he called her dangerous. That must have been a shock, seeing one of the only people who hadn’t judged her, one of the only that had listened and was amicable to her, calling her dangerous and refusing to help her. Must have been one heck of a wake-up call. Whether it’ll stick or not remains to be seen, because Vriska doesn’t have the best track record when it’s about self-improvement.

VRISKA: All I can see in her is me when I used to........  VRISKA: And it makes me want to........  VRISKA: UGHHHHHHHH! 

Maybe this was what was needed: Vriska seeing how someone else did it...successfully, or at least causing as much damage as she did in her session. She wonders if she has the high ground to complain about Aranea when the whole thing with the ghost army was as bombastic and grandiose as what Aranea is doing. Yeah, you don’t...really have much high ground here, Vriska. She asks for Meenah’s opinion, since she knows Meenah also did her share of chaos during her session.

MEENAH: and the shit i did  MEENAH: meant only the things the shit accomplished  MEENAH: and if that shit accomplished a dumb thing that sucked  MEENAH: then i guess thats what you call a mistake and oh fuckin well  MEENAH: mistakes aint make me feel too bad since i dont really connect results with my shelf worth  MEENAH: ya feel me  VRISKA: YES.  VRISKA: That is so right on.  VRISKA: If you asked me a long time ago, I'm sure I would have insisted that's exactly how I felt a8out everything I did too.  VRISKA: 8ut I don't know if that's true anymore.  VRISKA: In fact, I'm sure that WASN'T true.  VRISKA: I was always invested as hell in the consequences of everything I did, and how it made me look.  VRISKA: And how it made me feel a8out myself especially.  MEENAH: ok i will admit  MEENAH: i always felt hella bad about decisions leavin me with less gold  MEENAH: glub damn  MEENAH: feel a tide a shame wash over me just thinkin about going broke  VRISKA: Well of course.  VRISKA: Who the fuck wants to 8e poor?  VRISKA: That's for losers.  MEENAH: word

These two are best friends in the making. Can you believe they were about to fight back then, when the three walkarounds were done with? It’s always amazing to see how far relationships with people go during a story, even in a short span of time. One of the best things about stories is that, characterization and growth. That’s what I think.

VRISKA: If you want to know the truth........  VRISKA: When we were manipul8ting all those ghosts, Aranea was doing most of the work.  VRISKA: Her a8ilities are a lot more advanced than mine. I guess 8ecause she's 8een around for so long? 

...well that’s...I don’t know what to think. Maybe it was a warning sign that Aranea didn’t have as many moral scruples as some may have thought. I did think Vriska was doing most of the work there.

MEENAH: that journal man  MEENAH: tales from the pirate who wont shut up 

Ahaha, I remember that! Man, that journal makes so much sense now, knowing who wrote it. Of course Mindfang would write like that. After meeting Aranea and her grandiloquence way of talking and giving tales, it’s not a surprise anymore.

The whole thing with Aranea has shaken Vriska’s confidence. Her own plan about using a ghost army to distract Lord English while she went ahead and stole the show by attacking with the secret weapon doesn’t appeal to her anymore, and not just because she doesn’t think it’ll work.

VRISKA: I'm too depressed to think proactively a8out any of this.  VRISKA: May8e the truth is I don't even care all that much if anyone stops Lord English.  VRISKA: I think all I really cared a8out was getting to do it myself. 

No surprise there. Vriska’s whole character revolves around her propensity to place herself as the star in everything. It’ll do her good to realize that doesn’t have to be the necessary. Nice. Well, it’d be nicer if it didn’t mean that Vriska is giving up. Lord English can destroy everything, for all she cares. She’ll just stand away and let things happen.

MEENAH: one day i said  MEENAH: fuck da throne  MEENAH: ran off to the moon  MEENAH: thats how this whole crazy mess kicked off  MEENAH: and if i didnt do that  MEENAH: i wouldnt of met you 38)  VRISKA:  VRISKA: ::::)

Must be rather nice for Vriska to have someone who understands her better than anyone else. I mean, Terezi came pretty close to it, but she renounced to the friendship. Meenah could be a good friend for Vriska, I like where this is going.

So Dirk is still trying to tear Aranea’s soul away while Rose arrives, most likely to check on Roxy. Something is happening, though.

IRK: JAKE, YOUR HOPE FIELD IS DISSIPATING!  DIRK: COME ON MAN, YOU DON'T NEED TO RELY ON HER TO KEEP BELIEVING!  DIRK: TRY AND HOLD YOUR SHIT TOGETHER FOR JUST A LITTLE LONGER!

...well, that’s a bummer. Imaginary Dirk’s plan isn’t going to work, is it? Jake’s going to lose his power, and Aranea will be fine, and Imaginary Dirk will turn imaginary again. Oh well. Guess...things weren’t going to be simple or easy. Once the real Dirk arrives Aranea will be careful enough to not to let something like this happen again, too, so this was the only chance there was for this. Oh well.

I think I’m stopping for now.

Next update: two updates