#(hopefully this is okay but let me know if anything needs changing! and pls don't worry about matching the length! )

[hobiebrownismygod]

Miles-42/Prowler Miles x GN!Reader

based off this post

@tainted-liquor hopefully this is okay 🥺

TW: Fluff, Kind of Short, No Plot, Mention of Ganke

____________________________________________________________

"You're so frustrating"

You looked up to see your boyfriend, Miles G. Morales, looking down at you with his hands on his hips. He was scowling, his eyebrows furrowed as he stared, biting the inside of his cheek.

"Whats your problem?" You huffed, giving him an annoyed look before waving him off and looking back down at the book you were reading.

He leaned down and tilted your chin up to force you to look at him, cupping your face in between his hands in the process. He squinted slightly as he looked directly into your eyes, eyebrows still furrowed. "Why the hell do you have to be so cute?"

You blinked out of confusion. His eyes were darting in between yours as he stared, deep in thought. "You good?" you asked, lip twitching as you tried not to laugh at how he was acting. What a dork.

"I'll be good once you answer my question."

He was dead serious. You snorted at this and pushed his hands off your face. "Stop playing"

"I'm not messing around!" he said, expression softening slightly. He sat down next to you, pulling you toward him as he pressed his face into your neck, effectively pushing your book out of your hands. "Hey-" you started to protest, but were interrupted by his voice.

"Stop tryna play hard to get" his voice was muffled as he spoke into your skin, arms wrapping around your waist. "its pissing me off"

You chuckled softly at this, resting your head against his, a slight smile spreading across your face. "I was reading that, dork"

"Read later. I'm here right now"

"You're always here"

"So?"

You rolled your eyes. Clingy ass mf-

He looked at you, tilting your chin up so he could look you in the eyes again. You raised an eyebrow at him, biting back a laugh at his expression. He still looked mad.

"Who gave you the right?"

"What right?"

"The right to look so damn pretty all the time?"

"Has Ganke been reading you pick-up lines or something?" You asked with a snort, pressing your forehead against his.

He shrugged, closing his eyes at your movement, keeping his arms wrapped around you. "Where's this even coming from?" you whispered.

"Ion know. You just do stuff to me I guess."

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A/N: This was pretty short but the prompt was also pretty short, so I think I did okay!! If there's anything that stands out to you or anything you think I should change, pls let me know!! <3

I genuinely have no idea how to write this guy 😭

He seems so average I'm sorry, like he'd act like most guys there's nothing defining about him that we know about because he had like 5 or 6 lines in the movie so I don't know how to write him in a way thats still accurate to his character and I don't wanna headcanon with some random personality cuz it would feel off to me yk.

[cebwrites]

Hello hello !! Just discovered your blog through the law x anxious reader fic, and it really helped me out :< indulged in your beautiful master list! Keep it up!!!

If your requests are open, are you okay to write more comfort scenarios with law x reader or Sanji x reader? Any sad/distracted reader scinario really !! ( extra cookies for a bottled up reader but not an important need) Only if you want to tho <3

pls take care of yourself and thank u!! Have a good day ^_^

a/n: hellooo anon from-- december 2023... ._.;; i've been meaning to get to your request for a while but just never got around to until now! hopefully you're still around to enjoy the food <//3

comforting their partner (Law, Sanji)

masc reader, they/them law word count: 0.8k

Law

You were known to get lost in your thoughts from time to time, so initially, Law wasn't worried.

You still keened into their touch as Law's hand brushed against your cheek for attention, you lounged on the couch in their office as they worked, occasionally pestering them with wants for kisses and the non-negotiable snack break, and you still pulled them to bed, to try and get some sleep, a few reasonable hours before the sun would peek over the horizon.

It was when you began to dwell on things that Law began to worry.

You weren't as quick to respond, you picked at your food—while somehow miraculously making sure they ate—and stared out of the Tang's port holes with a look in your eyes that wasn't like the usual daydreams.

It took them longer to realize than they'd like to but once they do, they talk to you about it, put it to bed sooner rather than later.

Law's familiar with all the motions you try to use to avoid confrontation, tools they've used before to run from being vulnerable with the people close to them, with their crew, with you. So they have none of it. They still give you space when you ask and let you know that you can come to them for anything, but Law becomes entirely more physical than they've ever been.

Cuddling and giving you little pecks on the cheek in front of crew members, crawling into bed with you without being asked, even setting up little movie nights for the both of you to relax. None of their advances are sexual, they're just a lot more present despite themself.

Knowing how difficult it must be for Law to be open like this, you relent and spill what's been troubling you all this time, slowly releasing the pressure you've built inside you until it comes out in full forced waves, wracking your body.

Law rests their head in the crook of your neck, offering comfort in the form of gentle circles on your back where words fail them but they try, regardless.

Once the tears have dried you offer them a consolation smile, make a little jab at yourself about how much time they've had to waste comforting you here, instead of doing work; their response is pinching your noise with a frown, only smiling at the silly sound you make in return.

"The only time wasted is time not spent with you, darling."

Sanji

Another suspect of serial "not-talking-about-his-feelings"-itis.

Sanji notices the change immediately, he tries to broach the topic with you but you sidestep it with excuses, a wry smile, and typical Strawhat chaos envelops the Sunny before Sanji can get anywhere near a concrete answer from you.

Still, his love is clearly upset about something and it's up to him to make his boyfriend feel better.

A wretched, dreadful part of him in the form of three men with ridiculous hair whispers that it's probably his fault, deepening the pit in Sanji's stomach that opened up when he first picked up on your mood, but he's quick to tamp it down in the moment.

It lingers, however, the longer you avoid him.

And when he starts holding back with you in return, this only deepens the well of worry you've cultivated.

Eventually, the crew conspires to get the two of you talking again - because the opposite is driving everyone up the wall. You don't pay attention to antics with Luffy and Usopp, Franky's inventions don't have you scurrying over with the rest of the boys, Sanji doesn't twirl and spin as much for the ladies, and although his cooking is still immaculate, everyone can tell that he's distracted.

Chopper even whispers about how frustrated Zoro is now that Sanji doesn't rise to the bait of a deadly sparring match.

So you end up alone with Sanji one evening. The crew's antics somehow lost the pre-planned date dinner, but Sanji doesn't mind whipping up something simple and quick for your refined plate. You laugh, it's a sound he misses, and you can't deny that you miss sharing food with him as well.

He makes the crew's meals every day, yes, but something like this is different, it's intimate.

Over the course of preparing dinner, and having it, you slowly let your thoughts unravel, bare your vulnerabilities to him and Sanji, in turn, in equal measures relieved as he aches for not being someone you felt that you could come to air these grievances, embraces you.

He fills your head with every thought he's had about you since this rift had formed, maybe leaving the... less, chivalrous ones for later, but more than anything Sanji wants you to know you are loved. By him and everyone who shares a space with you on this ship.

Heart full of love, you kiss your swirly cook to sleep.

[peachhcs]

will bringing sam to something to bc for like a hockey thing and she’s his date and he’s proudly walking around with her on his arm

hockey formal

hughes!sister x will smith au (samy + will)

samy's in boston for will's hockey formal which means she finally meets all of his teammates that hear so much about her!

2.8k words

i kind of strayed off the path of what you requested, but i hope you like it!! this was so cutie to write, so pls send more in if y'all have any more requests :) (btw i finally used the actual names of the other hockey players on the team LMAO. everyone but connor is a guy on the bc hockey team) (so, the pics are gonna look big if ur on a computer but on mobile it’s fine LOL) (p.s.s my plan is to hopefully post every like 2 days! :) depending on my schoolwork load)

au masterlist

will's hands were around his phone as soon as he was done in the shower. the blonde didn't even take the time to change into clothes as he tapped away and stalked where samy's plane currently was. a grin curled onto his lips seeing her exactly thirty minutes away from the airport.

"what's got you so smiley?" eamon whacked his own towel against will's shoulder as he passed by the stall.

"girlfriend's coming to town," gabe answered with a smirk on his lips before will could even say a word. 

"ooh, the girlfriend, huh? has she been to boston yet?" eamon wondered with his own smile.

"is that the same girl who gave you those wicked hickeys a few weeks back?" mike poked his head into the conversation. his words had will blushing to the tips of his ears.

"yup, that's the one," ryan filled in as he leaned back into his stall.

"you mean to tell me hughes is coming here?" now connor joined the group and half the team in the locker room listened in while gaining knowledge of the star freshman's plans this weekend.

"she'll be at the formal tomorrow," will informed, finally throwing a t-shirt over his head. some of the guys let out oohs and ahhs at that information.

"we finally get to meet little hughesy??" colby exclaimed making the other boys chuckle.

"just don't be too weird, okay? do not bring up anything we talk about in here to her, promise?" will eyed his teammates seriously knowing how they got around the girlfriends. they were always sharing unwanted and lousy information that definitely did not need to get shared aloud.

"what? don't want her knowing we know how many times you guys have done it?" aidan teased earning hoots and hollers from the other juniors and seniors.

will's poor blush got even worse under the commotion. he saw ryan and gabe snickering to one another while sending the boy knowing looks. some teammates they were. 

"alright, shut up. just be normal if that's even possible for some of you," the freshman rolled his eyes, quickly disappearing from everyone to finish dressing himself.

"can't promise anything, smitty! get a few drinks in us and we're saying anything," jack called.

all will did was roll his eyes. he knew samy was used to hockey players and their antics, but he still didn't want his entire team making a fool of themselves in front of her. he wanted her to like them and them to like her. will was very big on gaining people's approval—especially samy. 

—

gabe and ryan happily tagged along to the airport with will. if the blonde didn't know any better, they were probably just as excited—maybe more—to see samy. something in will's heart warmed though knowing his linemates were so close with one of the people he cared the most about. he knew how much the two missed being in michigan and all of ellen's delicious homemade meals when they visited on the weekends. all of them were counting down the days they were all together again at the lake house.

the three were bouncing on their heels waiting by the gate while watching everyone unload from the plane. with them being so tall, they were able to see over most people's heads as they searched for samy's familiar mop of brown curls.

"i see her!" ryan exclaimed and the other spotted her also searching for them through the sea of people.

will began pushing his way forward to meet her in the middle. he felt like a little kid on christmas with how big his smile was and how tightly he embraced the girl when they finally met in the middle. his hug was so tight samy's feet lifted off the ground a little in a small spin.

"hey willie," samy beamed into his shoulder.

"hi pretty girl, missed you," the boy mumbled back, reluctantly letting her go for a moment. the girl's eyes spotted gabe and ryan hanging back, so she quickly jumped towards them.

"aw, my two favorites came to get me too," samy giggled as they both wrapped their arms around her shorter frame.

"good to see you too, hughesy. been a while," ryan chuckled.

"two favorites?" will cleared his throat, raising his eyebrow.

"obviously you're the first," the girl chuckled, tugging her arm back around her boyfriend after hugging ryan and gabe. the boy grinned as he basically smushed samy into his side. 

"someone's jealous,," gabe teased which only earned him a harsh glare from his friend. 

"you hungry at all? thinking about grabbing lunch with aram and drew back on campus," ryan wondered as the four made their way back down to baggage claim. 

"is that even a question? of course i'm hungry," samy beamed making the guys laugh. 

ryan and gabe helped grab samy's suitcase while catching up about soccer and school. will hung back, gladly letting his linemates talk since he's heard it all already from their nightly facetime calls. the smiles on ryan and gabe's faces were enough to tell will how much they enjoyed being around samy. it was something the blonde worried about when he first introduced them two years ago, but he should've known there was nothing to worry about. 

obviously samy got shotgun in will's car, so the guys stuffed themselves into the backseats. samy excitedly told them about her spring season while they chimed in with small tidbits from hockey. 

"did smitty tell you all the guys on the team are excited to meet you tomorrow?" ryan wondered. 

"they are?" samy giggled to herself while both boys nodded.

"you should've heard them in the locker room earlier," gabe grinned while will eyed him through the rearview mirror. 

"you're kind of a big deal to them i guess," will mumbled a bit shyly. his ears turned a slight pink thinking back to their teasing remarks. 

"so i've heard. i can't wait to meet them," the brunette chuckled. 

lunch with the six of them felt like old times back in michigan. somethimg about being all together and laughing like they hadn't been apart the last few months brought a sense of comfort and nostalgia knowing that in a few years they really weren't going to be together like that. 

samy and will retreated back to his dorm afterwards to spend some much needed alone time together before tomorrow. the girl grinned when her eyes caught sight of will's new wall decorations as soon as she stepped into the room. 

"aw, you two took my suggestions," she beamed and glanced over at gabe's side too. 

samy's heart warmed seeing so many pictures of her on will's side. he had three framed photos and probably 10-15 mixed into the photo collage on his wall. a smile crept onto the blonde's lips watching his girlfriend inspect every aspect of his side since she last visited. 

"this one's my favorite," he pointed to one of the many photos in the collage. 

samy ws laughing at something whoever took the photo said, but will's eyes had never left her. the gaze in his eyes said a lot more than words could. 

"wait, i didn't even know this picture existed. when was that?" the girl wondered, jumping onto will's bed to get a better look.

"like last summer?" the boy shrugged some. 

"i didn't even realize you were looking at me," samy giggled. 

"i know. that's why i like it," her eyes flicked to will's and that same stare from the photo was in his eyes. a small blush painted her cheeks as she quickly looked away before he noticed. 

"it was nice seeing the guys. i missed them," samy changed the subject as she sunk further into will's bed. 

"they were really excited to see you. they really miss michigan. i do too," the boy kicked his shoes off to join her. his words softened out samy's expression. 

"best two years ever having you guys so close by. i can't wait for summer," her voice dropped a little knowing how far off summer was still. 

will's arm curled around her waist to bringing her into him. "me neither. this long distance sucks, but i'm glad you're here. tomorrow's gonna be fun," his fingers carefully brushed some of her hair away from her face. 

a teasing smile grew on samy's lips, "how bad are they gonna chirp at you?" she knew all too well about his teammates constant teasing. 

"hopefully not too bad. i told them to cool it," will mumbled with an embarrassing blush that samy adored nonetheless. 

the two spent the rest of the afternoon in each other's arms after two long months apart. gabe came back later that night to the sight of them sound asleep and some random movie playing off of will's computer. the dark-haired boy quickly snapped a photo before shutting will's laptop and placing it somewhere safe. he quickly sent the photo to the freshman group chat, a smirk on his lips as he got himself ready for bed. 

—

will stood in front of the full length mirror getting his tie ready while samy got herself ready in the bathroom. he'd be lying if he said he wasn't just a little nervous for tonight. the hockey player knew his teammates would like her—they literally fangirl over her—he was just afraid they'd become too much or something. 

gabe threw his suit jacket over his shoulders while trying to look over will in the mirror. "dude, you're hogging the mirror," the dark-haired boy complained. 

"i'm almost done," will mumbled, fidgeting with his collar now. 

"go look at yourself next to your girlfriend in the bathroom," gabe shoved will out of the way. the blonde stumbled sideways, catching himself on the door. 

"dude," the blonde glared at him. 

"what? there's a bathroom for a reason," gabe shrugged, seemingly unbothered by pushing his friend out of the way. 

will rolled his eyes before gently knocking on the bathroom door. "yeah?" samy asked. 

"can i come in? gabe's kicking me away from our mirror," will wondered. he heard samy laugh and then a yes, so he carefully pushed the door open. 

the sight in front of him made the boy stop in his tracks. samy leaned over the counter trying to apply mascara and her dress was one will hadn't seen before. the material was satin or something because it shined in the light and hugged all of the right places. blue was most definitely samy's color. 

"like what you see?" the brunette smirked. she caught will's wandering eyes through the mirror, finally turning to him once she had her mascara on. 

pink colored will's skin from his neck to his ears. "you look beautiful," he mumbled, slowly stepping further into the bathroom and letting the door close a bit. 

"you don't look bad yourself," samy smiled at his all black suit and tie look. 

will stepped forward even more so his one arm could snake around samy's waist. he pulled her into his chest while his eyes shamelessly dropped down to her chest area and back up. "i can't believe you're mine," he nearly whispered making the girl chuckle. 

"you're sweet. i think i'm almost ready," samy's hands brushed back some of will's unruly curls. he flushed under her touch and brought her to his lips before he let her go. 

their kiss was filled with a lot of love. will's grasp on her waist kept her in place, kissing her deeper which allowed him to push his tongue into her mouth. samy's hands toyed with the hair on the nape of his neck, indulging in her boyfriend's slight neediness before she needed to finish getting ready. his boyish instincts started taking over as his other hand began sliding down past her waist. 

before he could reach her butt, samy pulled herself away. "i gotta finish getting ready. don't wanna be late," she giggled. 

will let out a small groan in protest, "you're annoying." 

"maybe." 

samy turned back to the sink, eyeing her makeup scattered across the counter. will's eyes did one last once-over of his girlfriend before tearing his eyes away and doing his finishing touches. another five minutes went by and the couple was finally ready. gabe looked up from his bed, smiling at the two.

"finally. scared i'd have to walk in there myself," he joked. 

will rolled his eyes while samy just chuckled. the three headed out of the dorm where they met ryan, drew, aram, and will vote downstairs to drive over together. the seven exchanged their hello's before dividing everyone up between will, drew, and ryan's cars. gabe stuck himself with will and samy, so the three continued out to the parking lot. 

samy smiled when will opened her door for her. 

"so charming," gabe mumbled as he climbed into the back. 

"wish he did that for me," ryan laughed as he walked by. 

poor will knew he wasn't going to escape the chirping all weekend, especially tonight. the drive into downtown stayed uneventful with minimal comments from gabe. they pulled into what looked like a very fancy bar in the heart of the city. samy hooked her arm around will's as the three walked in. a lot of the upperclassmen were already there mingling and their attention was caught when samy and will walked in. 

"yo, smitty!" aidan exclaimed, running around the bar to the couple. 

"what's up, hreschuck," will grinned. 

"you must be samy. we've heard a lot about you," aidan turned to the girl beside his teammate. 

"it's good to meet you," the two exchanged a friendly hug before the older player went to greet gabe. 

"it's her! it's little hughesy!" connor jumped up, running to hug samy. 

"connor miller! it's been forever since i saw you," the brunette laughed. she remembered connor playing with luke in the ntdp before they headed off to separate schools. 

"i know! when i heard you were smitty's girl i just couldn't believe it. how's your brothers?" the older boy wondered. 

"they're good. quinn's in van. jack and luke are in jersey. i'm the only one left in michigan," samy chuckled a little. 

"god, i can't believe moosey's in jersey. i can't believe you're old enough to be in college. you play soccer right?" 

will lingered beside samy while the smile on his lips grew. he never put two and two together that samy would know some of these guys through her brothers. he loved seeing her eyes so bright talking to connor about her brothers and soccer knowing she'd talk nonstop about them at any chance she got. maybe he wouldn't get chirped at as much as he thought. 

just as will thought that, colby and mike bounced over to where the couple was. "aw, she really does exist," colby cut into the conversation causing will's face to flush. 

"i'm colby. that's mike. we've heard a lot about you being smitty's girl," colby continued as he held his hand out. 

"it's nice to finally meet you guys," samy laughed, shaking their hands. 

"don't pay much mind to them. colby's going a little crazy tonight since he's graduating in a few months," connor laughed. 

"can do whatever i want and they won't kick me off the team," the older guy shrugged. 

"sometimes we thought smitty was lying about dating you," mike chimed in. 

"yeah, sometimes i don't believe it either," samy joined into their teasing. her gaze slid towards her boyfriend still beside her who blushed hard. 

"i mean he definitely picked a good one," colby nodded. 

"why don't you guys get some drinks and food before the other guys eat it all," connor laughed, pushing samy and will further into the bar and pretty much saving them from more of mike and colby's annoying remarks. 

"jesus, sorry about them," will mumbled when they were out of ear shot. 

"don't apologize. i thought it was funny," samy shook her head with a smile. 

"they don't know how to shut up ever," the blonde rolled his eyes. 

"you forget i'm used to it after growing up with three brothers who have hockey friends of their own," the girl giggled making will flush. 

"i know. i know. thanks for coming again," will placed a chaste kiss to her lips. 

samt stuck to will's side for most of the night, but she enjoyed seeing him in his comfort zone. all of the guys on the team were so close with one another. the upperclassmen treated the underclassmen like brothers despite the slight chirping. she could tell how much will loved it and how much he fit in with them. 

even though her boyfriend did most of the talking, she was glad to be at his side in a pretty dress for the night supporting him in what he loved the most. 

[thehusbandoden]

Cold- Shigaraki x Fem!Reader Part 2

Surprisingly this and the alternative ending only took me today 😅. I finally got an oomph after a few weeks of a writing block and wrote this, the alternative ending, and like 3-4 other things along with some add-ons to a few unfinished drabbles.

Angst to fluff | 1,899 words | Happy ending + an alternative ending if you'd rather have it end differently! <3

Y/h- your height

Warnings!: Shigaraki dusting multiple people, choking (not sexually), mentions of blood, cutting off a limb (an arm), self harm (Shigaraki), breaking down, Dabi x reader but could be seen as platonic, mentions of season 6 (Machia and the Liberation army), mentions of killing heroes. Pls let me know if I missed any!

Part One | Part Two | Alt. Ending

Shiggy's P.O.V:

Shigaraki paced back and forth in the meeting room, ap hand scratching at his neck. Nothing but guilt consumed him. He's been a complete a-hole to you, treating you horribly. You don't deserve that. You deserve better.

After asking Toga for advice the man decided to apologize and change his sickening behavior. He had only acted like that due to many people criticizing him behind his back. Telling one another what a bad partner he was. It killed him to think that he was.. and so he pushed you away.

He kept you locked away for your safety, there were so many bad people around, he didn't want anything to happen to you. But he couldn't, no. He wouldn't tell you that. He wouldn't act like some over protective psycho who works with people he wants to protect you from.

He took things from you to enforce the rules. He had to keep you safe. He needed you. He said those horrible horrible things to you for what? To push you away further so he would make sure not to be a piece of crap boyfriend? Pathetic.

He only showed his true colors when he held you at night or in the soft hours he was in your shared room. Though you probably didn't even recognize that. He loved you so, so much. And today he'd make it up to you. Today, he, Shigaraki Tomura, would apologize.

Reader's P.O.V:

You grumbled as Dabi picked you up, successfuly avoiding the patrolling heroes.

"Dabi! Let me down!" You whisper-shouted, resulting in Dabi pinching your side. "Ow~!" You whine, smacking Dabi's head as he chuckled.

After the hero passed Dabi sprinted toward the alley across you, pressing himself against the wall, and unfortunately you with him.

"Dabi! It hurts!"

"Will you just- be quiet. For like two minutes." You huffed as you bit back a retort, pout stuck on your face.

After a while of rushing past heroes you both finally made your way out of the city. "Okay y/n. You can talk now."

"Oh can I? Thank you your grace." You bite back sarcastically, e/c eyes glaring into Dabi's turquoise.

"Aww come on now. I was just protecting ya."

"Yeah yeah. Whatever." Dabi just chuckled before splaying his arm over your shoulders, grasping at your right one as he made his way forward.

"Where are we going?" You ask, following suit as he tugged you along.

"To the bar. I can hopefully get you safe before coming back. And we only have a short amount of time so we need to hurry."

"But.. you're not gonna stay with me?"

"No. You know what I need to do y/n."

"So.. you're just going to leave me?!"

"I'll make sure you're safe and have a way to contact me at all times."

"B- okay.."

Shigaraki's P.O.V:

Shigaraki paced back and forth as he practiced what to say. He had everything ready, but the actual apology. Shigaraki has never really apologized before, so this was quite nerve wracking. After another half hour of practice he decided that it was good enough.

Walking toward his shared bedroom, he shifted his hold as he juggled a bouquet of your favorite flowers, your favorite treat, and three more teddy bears to try and fill the hole of the one he dusted. Not to mention an entire box full of books and a TV he left in his office. Where you would be the majority of the time. E

With him, your husband. Slightly knocking on the door, he stepped in. "Y/n my love I know I messed up, but I hoped that-" he stopped as he looked at the room.

It looked perfect. The sheets were cleaned and the bed was made, the floor was spotless and the clothes were perfectly hung up. But, that wasn't the unusual thing. You were gone. You weren't tucked away in bed like usual, you weren't soaking in the bath, and you weren't curled up with a book.

Panicking, Shigaraki dropped his armful to scour the room, ripping apart the closet and flipping the bed.

"Y/N! Y/N WHERE ARE YOU!" Shigaraki yelled, starting to hyperventilate. As he realized you weren't in the room he ran out, searching for you desperately.

"B-boss?" A villain huffed, azul eyes glued to Shigaraki's crazed form.

"WHERE IS MY Y/N!?"

After scouring the place and demanding answers from everyone and anyone Shigaraki found himself back in your shared room, the room a mess from his search. As the reality sunk in he dropped down to his knees, despair overwhelming his senses.

You were gone.

You left.

It was all his fault.

Sobs racked through Shigaraki's being as he clawed at his neck, crying for his missing love. His other half. His reason to live. You were gone. And it was all his fault.

Reader's P.O.V:

You smirked as you passed Dabi, turning to stick your tongue out at him. Dabi just glared at you as he picked up speed, passing you once more.

"Hurry up loser! You wouldn't want to be left behind!"

"Dabi you're such a bully!" He just laughed as he ran down the hill, and into a rice farm. You've been traveling for two days, and are nearing a town that Dabi thinks would be okay for you to shelter at.

Giggling, you ran after him, jumping into his back when you came in range.

"HEY!"

"Shh you'll wake someone up!" You giggle, nuzzling your face against his head. Dabi just scoffed before slowing his pace to a safer one.

"Hehe I knew you cared." You tease, poking at his cheek.

"I can and will drop you off here and now you pest." Dabi growled, cheeks a bright pink.

You just giggled before resting your head onto Dabi's shoulder, thoughts of your former lover plaguing your mind. You missed him. A lot. Not Shigaraki, the leader of the Liberation Army, but Tomura. Tomura, the leader of the humble LOV with a soft spot for his lover and partner.

Before you knew it silent tears rolled down your face onto Dabi's shoulder. If he noticed he didn't say anything, instead opting to stay quiet as he made his way across the rice field.

Shigaraki's P.O.V:

Shigaraki awoke to the shuffling of footsteps outside of his room. "Sh-Shigaraki! We have a clue to where y/n san-"

Shigaraki lunged at the man, grasping his arm in his hand as he whispered in his ear, "Don't you EVER utter her name again. Your filthy mouth isn't worth it."

The man screamed as his arm started decaying. As Shigaraki dropped him in disgust another man quickly moved to cut off the limb, stopping the decaying.

"Where is my y/n." Shigaraki demanded, glaring at the group.

"Ti' yoon saw Dabi taking a young lady about y/h outside of the base. She had clothing that looked similar to yours, and he says she had e/c eyes." A woman reports, arms crossed over her chest nervously.

Rage shook Shigaraki as he glared at every member of the group, neck scratching over his blood-stained neck. "Why didn't he tell me this EARLIER?" Shigaraki demanded, crimson eyes glaring.

"B-because he didn't suspect anything... He thought that it was someone else because he didn't know that your chick was disloy-" the man was cut off with a scarred hand to his neck, a finger short from decaying him instantly.

"DON'T EVER INSULT MY Y/N YOU SWINE!" Shigaraki yelled, choking the sobbing man before finishing the job, decaying him instantly.

"Bring me to Ti' yoon. Now."

After gathering as much information as he could, Shigaraki quickly made his way toward where they were headed on Machia, killing any hero that dared try and interrupt him.

Reader's P.O.V:

"Y/n. Give me that back. Now."

"But Dabi! Look at how good it looks on me! I thought it was ugly before but it must of just been you!" You tease, sticking your tounge out.

"Oh that's it. You're dead. " Dabi growled, lunging toward you.

You yelped as you threw yourself into a bush, getting you and Dabi's jacket stuck in the branches.

"Aha! Got you!" Dabi grinned, tickling your form as you shook with laughter.

"Da- Dabi! Come on! Help me up!" You giggle, e/c eyes shining.

"Nah. I'm good thanks." Dabi grinned, pinching your side. Dabi just gazed at you as you cussed him out, trying to wiggle free from the bush's grasp to ring his neck.

You both froze as you heard a familiar voice calling the two of you.

"Is that.." you whisper, eyes moist.

"Yeah.. let's get out of here." Dabi replied, scooping you into his arms. You worriedly looked back as Dabi sprinted away, searching for a hiding spot.

Shigaraki's P.O.V:

"Y/N MY LOVE! DABI YOU MORON I'M GOING TO SLOWLY TURN YOU INTO DUST! LIMB BY LIMB YOU WILL SUFFER FOR TAKING MY Y/N AWAY FROM ME!" Shigaraki yelled, crazed eyes scouring the rice farm.

Shigaraki had quickly found footprints, and his rage only deepened as he saw them interlap, and yours going as far as to disappear at times. Following the tracks, he reached a rice farm, where the prints were fresher. You were near. His other half was near.

"Y/N MY LOVE PLEASE COME HOME!"

Reader's P.O.V:

Tears ran down your cheeks as you listened to Shigaraki's words. He was going to find you. You knew it. But he was going to kill Dabi. Not only that- but torture him?

"Hey y/n. It will be okay. He won't find us."

"Yes. Yes he will Dabi. And you will die. I'd rather live with the shell of the man I fell in love with rather than flee and have my best friend be tortured. And don't you argue. I know you Dabi."

"Y/n. No. You are not going back to him."

"Dabi.. you aren't going to be tortured just so I can be happy. He hadn't physically hurt me. He's still my Tomura.. maybe one day he'll change."

"Y/n no-" as Dabi reached for you you activated your quirk and froze him, stopping his movement entirely.

"Y-y/n.. no."

"You'll be free by tomorrow. Hopefully I can convince him to not-"

"Y/n! Y/n my darling!" Shigaraki exclaimed, rushing toward you.

"Tomura..?" You ask, hesitation evident in your voice.

"Oh y/n I- I am so, so sorry. Please. Please my Love. Forgive me? I- I promise to do better. To go back to normal. Y/n my dear you are the most important thing to me, please. Please, please forgive me? I promise to change. My love please." Shigaraki begged, moving to his knees and grabbing your hands.

"Tomura.. you hurt me. A lot."

"I know- I know but baby please." "

"Oh baby.. how could I say no? J-just look at you. What happened to your neck?" You ask, a tear sliding down your face.

"Shhh nothing. Don't worry about it my baby." Right as Shigaraki pulled himself up to kiss you, you put a finger to his lips.

"But. Under one condition. I will forgive you if you promise not to hurt Dabi. He's like a big brother to me Tomu. So please?"

Shigaraki growled softly before glaring up at Dabi. "Fine. For you." He hissed.

You just smiled before tip toeing to kiss Shigaraki, entangling your hands into his hair and pulling him down to deepen the kiss. There were so many emotions poured into it.

Guilt.

Regret.

Hurt.

Acknowledgment.

Anger.

Relief.

And most evident; love.

Part 1 | Alt. ending

Shigaraki's masterlist | Main masterlist | Requesting Rules (requests open and appreciated <3)

Do not copy, repost, nor plagiarize my work. Ask before you translate or use my work in any way, minus reblogging.

[a-very-sneaky-mimic]

So I got an announcement about the future of The Stars May Not Wait For You But We Will.

Alrighty so- the results of the last two polls ive done have had winners- but both have high percentages of people that don't want me to experiment too far from my original premise. And as a chronic people-pleaser, scared to do anything that might make anyone even a little upset or disappointed, I shall be doing a thing!

"Whats the thing you're doing?"

- Thx for asking! Imma make the fic into a series.

"What?"

"How does that work?"

Okay so the current fic will be winding down, Imma try and end it in a satisfying place in the next few chapters or so. (NOT RESOLVING ALL CHARACTER DRAMA, just getting to a natural stopping point that hopefully feels satisfying if I do my job right.) No new plot points will be introduced during that time, and the Loop part of the main ship wont evolve into anything romantic during this time.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

The Next fic I write will be an immediate continuation of this fic's plot. (No I have not decided on a name for fic #2 yet.) "Why do you need to separate it?" The fic has rapidly exceeded the original bounds and my original premise, and as such, I'd like to create a new fic with new tags, relationship tags, and plot. (Just tacking a whole bunch of stuff on that wasn't in my original plan feels a little jarring in my humble opinion.)

This fic #2 will have the following changes:

It will have a new plot/adventure- I've got IDEAS (be afraid)

The fic will still be gen, as the ship isn't the main focus, but the IsaxLoopxSif dynamic will be evolved into a romantic relationship eventually

Head-cannons galore- which is to say, I still want it all to feel more or less seamless with cannon, but I'll be taking far more creative liberties with world-building & such. I just feel calling it cannon compliant at that point would be a bit much :P

Pls let me know if you have any questions in the comments or reblogs, I frequently spew nonsense out of my keyboard and if I confused anybody pls say so!

[writemywaytoyourheart]

afth drabble 3: honeymoon

pairing: afth!jungkook x f.reader

genre: fluff, smut (ish?), 18+

wc: 6.9k

content warnings: 18+ content, strong language, virgin!jk and virgin!oc, fluffiness, first times, a little anxiety, s3xu@l tension, extremely suggestive content that gets very very close to descriptive (?) yall I never done this before pls be kind :') idek what to put for warnings lmao help-

drabble masterlist

summary; honeymoon cuteness and perhaps a lil somethin more ^^

a/n: you guys have been asking for this for literally forever 💀 I left yall to starve during afth but hopefully this feeds you well enough to forgive me 😉🔥

__________________________

You never knew what to say when people asked you what love was like, to describe it. You’ve never had any of idea how to put it into words... 

There’s no time to think of an answer now though, not when you’re late.

Jungkook's grip on your hand is tight as he pulls you along through the airport. 

The traffic was far worse than anticipated. 

Thankfully, going through security didn't take long, now it's just the matter of finding your gate and getting there on time. 

Over the speakers, an announcer reminds passengers that the flight you're currently running to is boarding. 

"Run, ____!" Jungkook shouts over his shoulder, dragging you towards the escalators. 

"I'm t-trying!" You holler back. 

You're not nearly as fast as him. 

Once you get to the stairs moving upwards quickly, you see the thought pass Jungkook's brain a split second before it happens. 

He wouldn't. 

"Come on."

He would. 

You try not to have a heart attack as you and Jungkook run up the escalators. The only reason you don't fall and break your nose is because of his grip on you. 

Once you make it to the top, he's off again, running across the top level and heading straight for the flight that's currently boarding, and yanking you behind him. 

Gosh, he's fast. 

You smash into him when he stops suddenly, having made it to the boarding line. 

"Ouch."

Jungkook turns to see you holding your nose as he tries to catch his breath, "Sorry, baby. Are you okay?" 

You nod and laugh a little as he inspects your nose to make sure you aren't too hurt, even though you assure him you're not.

"W-we made it," you grin at him and he nods with a crazed smile, "Fuck yeah, we did."

The line moves fairly quickly. You approach the attendant and give him your tickets, then you make your way onto the plane. 

After finding your seats, Jungkook takes the smaller bags and puts them up above where you'll be sitting before joining you and buckling up.

You're sitting next to the window where Jungkook insisted you sit. You've never been on a plane before, that you can remember, and he wants you to have the best view. 

The seats are more spacious, since Jungkook got first class. There won't be anyone sitting with you two, and the seats even recline so you can get some rest. 

Your tummy flutters with excitement as you look out the window at the lights shining from the airport in the dark. You haven't even left yet and you're so nervous and excited you might be sick.

A warm hand taking yours makes you look to the left to see your husband biting his lip as he looks at the pamphlet; holding your hand almost subconsciously. 

Cute. 

"Are you hungry?" He asks, eyes still scanning the small paper before glancing at you. 

You shake your head with a smile, "Not r-right now."

Jungkook tucks the pamphlet away before leaning over and pressing a kiss to your cheek. 

"Let me know if you need anything, okay?"

"Mhm," You nod happily before turning to look out the window to watch the lights some more. 

Once again, you're grateful that Jimin brought you some comfortable clothes to change into. The floppy sweatpants and big t-shirt are definitely so much more pleasant to sleep in. 

You hear a low groan as Jungkook stretches his legs out in front of him and turn your head to see him start yawning, hand still holding yours securely. 

So so cute. 

He drops back into his seat with a relaxed sigh, "Shit, I'm exhausted. I didn't realize how tired I am until now."

You nod as a yawn starts making its way up your throat now. 

"Me too," you whisper before your eyes drift down to see his right hand holding your left, warm fingers rubbing across the back of your hand softly.

The glint of your wedding ring makes a burst of excitement rush through you as it clicks once again that you and Jungkook are actually married now. 

It's been so long.

It felt like things were never going to be okay. 

So many tears that seemed to never dry. 

So many lies that kept building on the last. 

So much fear and hopelessness.

There was never a break, never time for anything. 

Now there is. 

The realization that you finally have time for everything is so emotional for you that tears immediately spring to your eyes. 

Only a moment passes before your silent tears are broken by the sound of a soft gasp and gentle fingers on your cheek, drying the most recent tear that almost made it to your chin. 

"Hey," his voice is no louder than a whisper but it reaches deep inside of you and grips your aching heart. 

You lift your gaze to see his huge doe eyes looking into yours, filled with so much worry.

"I'm okay," you whisper, voice breaking as a small cough slips out. 

"What's going on?" He asks quietly, still busy drying your eyes with the most tender touch you've ever felt. 

It nearly brings more tears to your eyes right then and there. 

"I'm happy," you assure him gently, "I'm r-really happy."

The worry in his eyes dissipates and a soft smile spreads on his face, "Me too. It almost feels too good to be real."

You nod, but don't say anything. 

For some reason you don't want to bring up your anxious thoughts; that perhaps this is all fake and you'll get pulled back to that reality at any minute. 

You don't want to bring the mood down. 

So, you swallow the rest of your tears and reach over to take his left hand and bring it over to look at his ring. 

Jungkook smiles softly as you bring his hand close to your face and touch his ring so gently he almost doesn't feel it. 

You lift his hand a little more and bring his fingers to your lips, pressing tiny kisses there before hugging his hand to your chest and laying your head on his shoulder. His heart melts into a puddle as he bites his lip in an attempt to keep himself from combusting. 

You're too precious, it physically hurts him sometimes. 

This is definitely one of those times. 

"I love you," he whispers into your hair as he looks over towards the window. 

"Love you too," you whisper back, starting to drift off. 

It's silent for a few minutes, the lights in the cabin turning off and setting a cozy atmosphere.

He had hoped you would fall asleep quickly and just rest practically the whole way to the first stop. But his previous worries are soon confirmed when the plane starts to take off and you squeeze his hand tightly, clearly terrified. 

"Kook," you whisper weakly, eyes clenched tightly. 

"It'll get smoother, I promise," he says into your ear, fingers dancing magically up and down your arms in a soothing pattern, "The take-off and the landing are always the worst."

You give him a small nod to acknowledge you heard him, but your eyes stay squeezed shut and your hand grips his so tight he sees your knuckles turning white in the dim light. 

The plane jerks a little as the bumpy take-off continues. 

"Mmnh," you whimper, hiding your face in his shoulder. 

Then it suddenly becomes very apparent that the ground is no longer under the plane and your stomach plummets to your feet. 

"I don't l-like this," you whine, "I wanna go b-back."

Jungkook smiles sadly as he pets your head, "You'll forget all about this part when we get there, I promise. And if you don't, I'll owe you a back rub. Deal?"

Your head is still tucked into him, but he feels you nod and he chuckles. 

He has a feeling you'll make it your mission to remember just to get that back rub. 

It takes a little coaxing and reassurance, but he eventually helps you fall asleep, your head resting against his shoulder, little puffs of your warm breath dancing across his arm every few seconds. 

He stays up for a little longer, the day's events swirling around in his head and preventing him from getting any shut-eye. 

It's been hard for him to keep the tears contained, even though he knows he doesn't have to. It's just a bad habit that he can't seem to shake. 

It would be a lie to say that the whole day was joyful. Most of it was the happiest he's ever been. 

But he couldn't help it, she popped into his head more than a few times. 

He knows she would've loved to be there to celebrate his step into a new life. 

She would've loved to dance with both of you and laugh all night as embarrassing stories from his childhood came to light.

Jungkook clears his throat and shifts to make sure you're still comfy. 

"She l-loved it."

He bites his lip harshly at your quiet words, the reassuring touch of your hand settling over his thigh and patting it gently. 

"She was there, K-Kookie."

A quick swipe under his eyes is all it takes to get rid of the evidence of his sudden emotional weakness. 

You sit up only enough to lift the arms between your chairs and cuddle into his side, wrapping your arm around his waist, "Your m-mom is watching o-over us, you know."

He nods, still biting his lip to keep his composure. 

"She said m-my dress was gorgeous."

A small sob leaves his throat and he tightens his hold on you. 

"You were th-th-the most beautiful person in the wh-whole church, she said so."

Jungkook pulls back just enough to look into your eyes as he cups your face with both hands before he pulls you into a deep kiss, his tears dripping onto your cheeks. 

When he finally pulls away for a breath, he whispers, "How do you always hear what's in my mind? How can you always know the right thing to say?"

You shrug, "I guess it's a s-soulmate thing."

He chuckles tearfully before wiping at his eyes, "I guess you're right."

You snuggle into him again, holding him together like you always do. 

-

It was a long and exhausting journey. 

Several stops and many fitful sleep attempts before you finally reach your destination. 

You and Jungkook walk out of the airport at around midnight and get into a taxi that takes you to the place you'll be staying at. 

The drive only took about fifteen minutes but it felt longer. Neither of you have had sufficient sleep in days. The flight only took a day, but the nights before the wedding were full of nervous excitement that turned into sleepless nights. 

Both of you must look like you just rose from the grave, with the heavy bags under your bloodshot eyes and the limping that can't be helped because good grief even the comfortable plane seats started putting cricks in your backs and hips. 

"I feel like we're celebrating our seventieth anniversary," Jungkook groans as the two of you walk up to the little bungalow with the kind driver in tow. 

It's so dark out that you can't see much, but somewhere in the back of your mind you know you'll be elated about the view after a good night's sleep. 

His joke sends you into a fit of maniacal laughter that sends sharp pains up your cramped back, which makes you cry out and hold your back like a little old lady, further confirming that the two of you really do look like a very very old couple at this moment in time. 

If you had any energy left to care, you might be embarrassed of what the driver must think of the pair of you as he helps bring the bags inside and then bids you a good night. 

Jungkook tries his best to help you walk but he's started laughing now and it's all a mess. 

"Forget the bags, forget them," he swats at them dismissively, "Room, room!" He then gestures in a general direction and stumbles forward. 

You find the room quickly and fall onto the giant bed, groaning at how soft and magical it feels right now. 

Jungkook isn't far behind; you feel the bed dipping as he climbs in and tucks himself into the covers, "Get under the blankets, baby," he mumbles, already half asleep. 

You make a low sound, not hearing what he said but not having the strength to ask him to repeat it. 

"Blankets, love," Jungkook speaks up after a minute, voice hoarse as he pulls his head from the pillow to look at you lying facedown on the comforter. 

Your legs are dangling half-way off the bed, your body contorted in a strange angle. 

Jungkook stares at you for a minute, then pokes your arm, "____? Baby?"

You groan again but don't move. 

He laughs tiredly and sits up, reaching over to hold under your arms and quite literally pull you all the way onto the bed. 

"Silly girl," he mumbles affectionately as he fights to get the covers from under you and place them on top of you carefully. 

When it's all done and you're in a good position, he lays down and takes your hand in his, leaving a quick kiss there before drifting off. 

______________

The two of you sleep until around noon, then you tiredly eat the food Jungkook ordered, trying your best not to fall asleep until he's done feeding you the last forkful of fruit. 

You smile sleepily and lay down again after thanking him for the hundredth time. 

He joins you after he takes his last bite, crawling under the covers and pulling you close, letting you rest your head on his arm as a makeshift pillow. 

"Love you," he mumbles into your shoulder. 

"Love you t-too," you yawn and place your hand on his that holds your waist and rubs gentle circles. 

"Still tired, love?" He asks quietly, eyes never opening. 

"Mhm," you sigh and move back further into his warmth. 

The action makes Jungkook's heart leap to his throat; your backside unintentionally breaching territory it hasn't yet. 

"Sweetpea."

The strained sound of his voice along with his hand gripping your waist with a little more force makes you stop moving to try and get comfy, "Hm?"

He doesn't answer you, just tries to keep his breathing steady. 

You can't help it, the sound of his ragged breath in your ear and his hold on you, makes a distinct tickle in your tummy that you've felt a few times before around him. 

Your already warm skin starts to heat up even more when you realize what must have happened to make him react in that way. The way he gently moves your hips forward so they aren't touching him is telling enough. 

Did you just-...

Your cheeks burst into flames and you fight the urge to blurt an apology.

That would just confirm that you know what happened. 

Jungkook on the other hand is busy trying to clear his head, reminding himself that you did not do that on purpose and he needs to control his raging hormones before they make him into a fool. 

You'll let him know when you're ready, the right time will come. It's not when you're still half-asleep and worn out from a long flight. 

The thought hasn't left either of your minds since even before the wedding. Knowing that naturally, things will progress into that situation. 

It would be lying to say neither of you wants that right now. 

But neither of you are going to admit it either, both under the impression the other is too tired and it would be selfish to initiate it.

And perhaps...you're both just a little scared. 

So the silence stretches on, both of you biting your tongues harshly. 

"Um," It startles you when he finally speaks, "I'm actually gonna go take a shower. You should get some more rest, baby."

You give him a small nod but don't turn to look at him, "Ok."

He smiles at the small voice coming from the covers and leans down to press a kiss to your hair before sliding out of bed and going to the restroom.

When you hear the door shut, you let out a long breath you had been holding and put a hand to your burning forehead as you collect yourself. 

You've never ever been that close to starting something with him, not ever. 

It's a terrifying yet exhilarating feeling that settles in your tummy at the realization that he wants it too. 

The fact that you're husband and wife now is finally starting to actually sink in. 

You're married to Jungkook. 

You share his last name and everything. 

Kicking your feet under the covers, you place your hands over your mouth to muffle the excited shriek building up. 

_____________________

Jungkook turns on the shower and peels his sweaty clothes off in record time, stepping into the already steamy giant glass box and sighing in relief. 

But only a few minutes pass before he realizes it isn't working. 

You're still clouding every area of his brain and making it really difficult not to give in and call out for you. 

What the fuck. 

Jungkook grabs the shower knob and turns it to cold in a moment of desperation to ease his mind and other areas he doesn't want to admit are being affected right now. 

Calm down, you hormonal fucking teenager.

Jungkook groans quietly when it feels like it's not working, his mind starting to turn to panic. 

His traitorous brain is scheming against him as it reminds him that you're laying not even fifty feet away right now, soft and beautiful as ever. 

Fuck, shut up. 

He puts his hands over his face as another groan slips out. 

"Jungkook?"

The unexpected sound of your voice through the door makes him jump and rip his hands away from his face in terror that you've caught him and know exactly what's going on. 

"Y-yeah?" He calls back. 

"I'm gonna ch-check out the patio, is th-that fine?"

His pounding heart starts to relax, "Yeah, it's okay. I'll uh- I'll be out in a bit, alright?"

You smile, "Ok!" Then you skip away. 

He feels like an idiot. 

A downright fool.

Jungkook makes quick work of washing himself, relief entering his system as it appears things have calmed down by the time he gets out. 

A quick glance at the clock when he leaves the bathroom shows he was in there much longer than he'd thought. No wonder you got bored and wanted to look outside. 

He dries his hair a little more with a towel before getting dressed and joining you out on the patio. 

The ocean is crystal clear, a brilliant turquoise that seems nearly unreal as it washes up onto the shining sand. 

He smiles at the sight of you looking out at it, your knotted sleep hair blowing gently in the slight breeze, the oversized t-shirt that rests just above your knees making you look so soft. 

Mauritius Island was the perfect choice for your honeymoon, the glow that surrounds you as you stand up on your tippy toes and touch a vine snaking from the roof is proof of that. 

The faintest giggle reaches his ears as you pet the vine, unaware of his presence. 

"If I knew how much you loved vines, I'd have gotten you some sooner."

You jump at the sound of his voice and turn to see him smiling softly at you, his still damp hair hanging around his face in a pretty frame. 

An embarrassed laugh slips out as you shrug, "I wo-won't mind if you get some f-for the apartment."

Jungkook chuckles and comes up next to you, putting his hand on the small of your back, "Whatever you want, it's done. Just say it and you can have it."

"You're g-gonna spoil me?" You look up at him with huge eyes, clearly trying to make him laugh. 

He can't help but do so, willingly falling into your trap. 

Then he leans down and brushes a stray hair from your face before kissing the side of your mouth, just barely touching your lips. 

"Absolutely, Mrs. Jeon, " he whispers. 

Your heart pounds heavily at the look he gives you, trying to decipher what he's thinking. The way he says those words makes your legs feel like jelly.

"Anything in this world that you want, it's yours."

You smile, "All I want is y-you."

His smile grows at your words, "Me, and some vines."

"Yes," you laugh loudly, making his heart sing. 

-

Your more extravagant plans don't start until the day after tomorrow, Jungkook having been sure to make time at the start for you to get settled in and rested up for when the two of you start the adventuring. 

The rest of the day is spent walking along the stretch of beach that sits in front of your bungalow. 

More than a few times, you're able to splash Jungkook with the cool ocean water when you run into it ankle deep. 

He tries to retaliate but you're too quick; running as fast as you can away from him as you feel the soft, wet sand sink underneath your bare feet. 

Jungkook takes a few pictures along the way, one of his favorites being the one where you were running into the water, the pink sky in front of you and your hair flowing in the wind. Your distinct silhouette and the footsteps in the sand behind you bring the whole image together. 

He mentally tucks away the reminder that he wants to paint this picture someday. 

When it seems like the sun has decided to start going down soon, Jungkook asks if you want to go back. 

You run over and nod happily, "I'm hungry!"

"Well at least you're not sleepy anymore," he chuckles at the energy radiating from you. 

The two of you walk side by side back to the bungalow, chatting about how gorgeous the scenery is and gushing over the photos he shows you that he took. You show him some you snuck of him too when he set the camera down, much to his embarrassment.

-

You decide to order dinner tonight as well, not wanting to go out anywhere just yet. 

Before the food arrives, you decide to take a quick shower, calling to Jungkook as you shut the door to pick the music he wants to listen to while eating dinner. 

He scrolls on his phone while you shower, looking for whatever the two of you are feeling right now. Both of you go through phases of listening to different songs, most of the time your playlists are the same but sometimes they differ. 

By the time the shower turns off, the food has arrived, so he goes to grab it and bring it into the room. 

Just as he's coming back in, he sees you come out of the bathroom in a dark blue silky robe, your wet hair framing your soft face. 

"The r-robes are nice," you say shyly, a blush dusting your cheeks. 

He smiles, "Looks comfy, maybe I should go get mine."

You laugh at his silliness and walk over to join him on the bed. 

The take-out is set on the foot of the bed and the two of you lay on your stomachs, grabbing it and digging in as you chat and goof around while listen to the music he picked out. This setup is typical for the both of you whenever you'd eat dinner together. It feels more comfortable, not so formal and stiff. 

Jungkook feels a warmth in his heart when you roll over onto your back, cackling like a witch at some stupid joke he made. 

He'd be scared you'd knock the food over if it wasn't already gone. 

Instead, he shakes his head at you and cleans up the empty boxes as you laugh and laugh. One of his favorite things about you is the fact that you find humor in anything and everything, nothing is too stupid for you to laugh at. 

When he comes back into the room, he sees you laying towards the bottom of the bed, your head hanging off of it as you look at him upside down, giggles erupting from you uncontrollably. 

The sight makes him break, laughing loudly for a second before he comes over and kneels in front of you. 

"I think it's s-supposed to be the other w-way around," you giggle as he leans closer. 

He chuckles at the Spiderman joke, knowing you are well aware of his love for that superhero, and especially that scene. Which he only admitted to liking when threatened with tickle torture if he didn't spill the beans one night after watching it. 

He'd admitted in a blushing mess that he wanted to try it someday, just out of curiosity. 

"I'll make do with what I can get," he whispers before cutting off your giggles by pressing his lips to yours. 

The action makes a heat spread through you, all the way to your toes. 

His warm tongue caresses yours as he deepens the kiss.

You hadn't known how kissing upside would feel, but now that you've tried it you understand the hype. 

A small gasp leaves you when he pulls away, his breathing heavier than it was a minute ago. 

You stare at each other for a moment in silence. 

Then Jungkook clears his throat, "Your face is turning red, you should sit up."

"Oh," you sit up and let the blood rush back to the rest of your body. 

Jungkook swallows thickly, then he stands up. 

"I do believe I owe you a back massage, wanna cash it in?"

You nod, cheeks still burning, "Yes, m-my back still hurts from th-that plane ride and my sh-shoulders are still tense fr-from being anxi-"

"I know, I know," he chuckles, "Let's get ready for bed and I'll make it up to you, okay?"

All you really need to do is brush your teeth since you've already washed up. 

A few minutes later, you're laying on the bed face down and waiting for him to be ready for bed. You turn your head and look out the window, noting again how beautiful and secluded the area is. Jungkook really went all out for you to be comfy. 

He always does. 

The deep golden blanket over the sky fills the room with a radiant light as the sun continues to sink below the horizon. 

You take note of how quickly you two had eaten dinner, happy that you get to see the sun set from your window. 

"Alright, you ready?" Jungkook's voice sounds from behind you and you nod, "Mhm!"

He chuckles and climbs onto the bed, looking over you to see the shape of your figure underneath the robe. 

He gulps. 

"Do you want to keep the robe on?"

Your cheeks flush and you shake your head slowly, "G-Guess not," you laugh sheepishly and start to sit up to take it off.

"I got it," he says, "If you're okay with that."

"Yeah," you squeak, sitting patiently before you feel his hands brush your shoulders as he takes the robe and carefully slides it off. 

His heart gets lodged in his throat when he realizes you're wearing a light pink top that's cropped to look almost like a sports bra, but much softer. There's nothing else on your top half. 

Jungkook leaves the robe on to cover your bottom half, but it does him no good. Blood is rushing through him and leaving him hot and bothered. 

He tries his best not to get distracted, but the sight of you in nothing but a bra really does a number on him. The only time he saw you like this was brief, when you were in the forest washing yourselves and he accidentally turned before you were ready. He had blocked that from his memory for your sake, feeling terrible at the time for the mistake. 

Now you're letting him in, a huge step he's waited so long to take. He wants to show you how much he truly loves and cares for you. How beautiful you are to him. 

You lay down again, breath catching when he starts to rub carefully yet firmly, soothing the tense knots in your muscles. 

When the massage eventually turns into light scratches, you sigh blissfully, not knowing the last time you felt this relaxed. 

As the minutes pass by, it becomes painfully obvious that he can only do so much when you have the top on. He says nothing though, not wanting to pressure you in any way.

You're already aware of it. You don't know what to do though, you've never gotten undressed in front of a boy before. 

He's not just a boy, ____. 

You're married to him now. 

That thought brings the heat back to your cheeks. 

"You okay?"

"Mm? What?" You turn your head to look at him. 

"You seem a little anxious, I can stop if you're uncomfortable..."

"Oh...no, I- I'm okay."

He smiles sadly at the nervousness in your voice. 

Without stopping his gentle touches on your back, he whispers, "What's wrong, ____?"

"Nothing," You sit up on your elbows and look at him with a shaky smile, "h-honest."

He raises a brow and your heart is suddenly plummeting to your stomach. 

How can he look so hot when he's not even trying?

You gulp. 

"What is it?" He asks again, even softer than before. 

"I just-...love you, i-is all," you whisper. 

He chuckles lowly, "I love you too, which is how I know when you're lying. I know you love me, and I also know there's something else you're hiding."

You sigh and flop onto your back, thinking nothing of the fact that your chest and abdomen are still uncovered.

Your chest rises and falls with your deep breaths, which makes Jungkook's brain short-circuit as he forces himself to keep eye contact with you and not look down. The top leaves little to the imagination.

Finally, after what feels like a million years, he sees you look down at him again. 

"I w-want you," you whisper so quietly he nearly misses it. 

But he doesn't.

"I'm right here," he manages to choke out. 

"No," you sit up and pull the robe back up your arms, leaving it open this time. Then you crawl towards him, "Don't t-tease."

Was he teasing? 

He's not even sure. 

All he knows is that suddenly you're the brave one. 

You're the one moving towards him with the hugest doe eyes he's ever seen, it's completely contradictory to the way you close in on him.

When your hand reaches for him, he snatches your wrist so fast it startles you. 

It's just as startling when he turns your wrist until he can place a tender kiss on the inside of it. 

Jungkook continues the slow kisses up your arm, pushing the robe up until he reaches your elbow, then he looks up at you through his lashes and all of your confidence dissipates. 

The sultry look on his face is enough to have you gulping and moving backwards. 

He follows you. 

As you scootch back on the bed, he crawls over you, placing another kiss just above your collarbone.

You squeeze your eyes shut as he works, decorating your skin with purple and blue marks, just like one of his paintings. Soft pants fall from your lips until he's finally satisfied with his work of art. 

He leans back and smirks at the shocked look on your face. 

"I want you too, ____," he whispers before slotting his lips with your own, "So fucking much," he breathes against your lips.

"Really?" You gasp in a breath when he places wet kisses just under your jaw. 

"Yes, stupid," he pokes your sides playfully as you whine at him not to call you that. 

"I've wanted you for a long time," he says seriously, "in more ways than you think."

You smile and wrap your arms around his neck to pull him down and into another kiss. 

The heat building in your tummy is familiar to you, it's happened every time you kiss him like this. Knowing that this time will end differently makes a chill go down your spine. 

Jungkook pulls back to look at you. 

You watch curiously as he sits back on his knees and stares at you, seemingly just taking in the moment. 

"A picture w-would last longer," you say teasingly. 

You didn't think he'd actually agree. 

"You're right," he reaches over to the side table and grabs the polaroid before leaning back into his previous position, "Is this okay?"

You smile and nod, surprised when he doesn't tell you to move at all, not to fix your robe or hair or the position of your arm. 

He's always so particular about his photos, always wanting them to be perfect.

But he just snaps this picture without thinking.

You blink owlishly at him, "You d-didn't have me f-f-fix anything, I look a mess-" you reach up and start trying to fix your hair before he puts a hand on your arm to stop you. 

"Don't, you're perfect."

You look at him, unsure. 

"You're perfect," he says again, not a flicker of dishonesty in his eyes. 

The way he tosses the camera onto the chair by the bed before climbing over you again makes a different warmth appear in your lower tummy that you've felt before but always tried to ignore. 

It's almost like he senses it, because in the next second, he's back to smirking before attaching his lips to your throat once more. 

The low groan that leaves him is almost too much for you to handle. 

You gulp and stare at the ceiling as he continues blemishing every part of your neck that he hasn't reached yet. 

The ceiling begins to blur suddenly. 

A few tears slip out, tickling your skin as they slide down the sides of your face. 

Jungkook pulls away at the sound of a quiet sob. 

"Baby," he breathes, at a loss for why you're crying, "Did I hurt you? I'm so sorry-"

You shake your head, "No, i-it's good. It's all r-really good."

He frowns, "Why are you crying? Are they good tears?"

You shrug. 

That puts a pause on everything, which makes you cry harder. 

"Hey, hey," Jungkook wipes your tears, "We don't have to do anything. We don't have to do anything at all until you are completely ready. Everything is okay, I promise. I'm okay, you're okay, everything is wonderful. We're married and we have the rest of our lives to do anything and everything. It's already too wonderful to be true-"

You nod as you cry, "That's the th-thing...Part of me is sc-scared I'll wake up in that old boxcar or s-something."

His hands move to cup your cheek, "You're right here with me, sweetpea-"

A sob breaks from your chest as you look into his eyes. 

"We n-never got to have an-anything beautiful."

His throat feels like it's closing as he tries to swallow his own tears, "That was just the beginning love, this is just the beginning, I swear. What we have is already beautiful, we don't need anything more. All of that is over, I promise."

The tears filling your eyes and cascading down your cheeks break his heart a little more with each one that falls. 

"I d-don't want to wake up."

Your voice is so small and scared it rips his chest apart painfully just to hear it. 

"You won't wake up. This isn't a dream. I'm here, I'm real," he takes your hand and places it on his cheek, letting you feel the warmth. Then he brings your hand to his heart so you can feel the steady beating, "See? I'm alive, right here and now."

The panic begins to subside as you concentrate on his heartbeat. Your eyes flit over his face, seeing the way the sun floods his skin with such a deep golden glow, his dark eyes filled with so much love it seems to physically pour out of them.

"Are you here with me?" Jungkook whispers softly. 

You nod slowly. 

His soft smile makes everything seem far less scary. 

"Should we sleep it off, sweetpea?"

You shake your head frantically, "Nuh uh, I w-want you."

He leans down and presses a kiss to your lips, "You have me, you'll always have me."

The grip you have on his tattoed bicep tightens the lower down he goes, leaving a trail of sloppy kisses across your golden sun lit skin until you can't hold on anymore as he reaches the panties that match your bra perfectly apart from the small cherries decorating them. 

A smile pulls at his lips. 

Everything about you is just so...you.

A shiver runs through you at the feeling of him spreading your legs and the softest kiss pressed to your inner left knee. 

Jungkook brushes his nose against your soft squishy thigh, breathing in your scent before peppering a few more kisses there. 

"Love you," he mumbles against your skin. 

"Love y-y-you-" You breathe rapidly. 

Jungkook looks up at you to see your whole body trembling, your bare stomach is quivering with every breath. 

"Cold?" He asks gently. 

You shake your head and breathe out a laugh, "M-More like full of ad-adrenaline...I g-g-guess....Yeah, k-kinda cold."

He smiles and reaches over to grab the small fluffy blanket that was folded at the bottom of the bed earlier, then he hands it to you. 

Your shaking hands grasp it and you pull it to your chest, praying the shakiness will subside. 

After a few moments of him rubbing his hands up and down the length of your legs, you're already feeling better and the shaking has mostly stopped. 

Now the cold that was seeping into your bones has turned to heat. You toss the blanket to the side and place your hands folded nicely over your tummy. 

You only look down again when you feel him take your hands in his, stopping the shaking with a reassuring squeeze. 

The sight of him between your legs is too much to handle so you look back at the ceiling. 

The gasp that leaves you at the first touch makes him smirk harder before getting back to the task at hand. 

You close your eyes tightly, unable to keep the embarrassing sounds from spilling out of your mouth as your hips begin to move on their own accord. 

"Nngh, Jungkook-" 

"I've got you."

The sound of your moans only spurs him on further, making sure to keep an eye on your pretty scrunched up face. 

Your mind is wrapped in a hazy curtain of dripping gold as the pleasure continues to build and build. 

The moment you lock eyes with him is when it snaps. 

Loud moans fill the room as your body quivers uncontrollably while he helps you through it. 

When you start coming back to reality, you feel his hands on your face and his wet lips on yours, "Breathe baby, breathe. In and out, good girl, you did so well."

Your lower abdomen begins to heat up quickly once more and you grab his hand, trying to push it back down where it's already aching again, "Keep g-going," you whisper hoarsely. 

"You sure? We can take a break-"

You shake your head adamantly, "Want you."

Thinking back on that day, you'll always remember it as the color gold. The feeling of a warm sun. The smell of flowers and sweat. The taste of salty tears and sweet lips. The sound of his deep voice reassuring you that he'll go slow even as you had urged him to hurry. 

Looking back, you're grateful that he was so gentle with you. At least one of you was thinking clearly. He was so careful and kind, never taking the chance of hurting you even as you begged him for more. It hurt at first, but the pain subsided quickly and rapidly turned into something much more addicting.

You kept forgetting it was his first time too, he seemed so experienced. It was as if he knew your body like it was his favorite book, the one he'd read over a hundred times until the pages were frayed. He treated you better than anyone in this world has ever treated you.

Even as you cried and shook with the adrenaline coursing through your veins, he held you close and brought you over the edge with him, never letting you feel anything other than complete and utter relief and comfort. 

When it was over, he held you in his arms even as the sun had dipped behind the horizon and the stars lit up the entire sky. 

It would be a lie to say you didn't cry more from the love alone. It's like he's full of it, pouring the glittering warm liquid into your heart and never running out. 

You want to give him that much and more in return. 

Little do you know, you have always given it to him. He's going to spend every waking moment filling your heart in return for the love you've shown him, even at the times he least deserved it. 

"I love you, sweetpea," he had whispered in your ear, his eyes drifting over the starlight that decorated your naked skin as his hand caressed your tummy. 

And you felt it; with each kiss and each whisper that tickled your ear, each swipe of his warm fingers on your belly. 

Patience and kindess. Terrifying excitement. Warmth and laughter. Inky swirls decorating every inch.

Starlight and golden rivers. 

That's how you'll describe love to anyone that asks. 

__________________________

a/n: hope u liked it~

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[cantstoptheimagines]

Yes the ones before your 2024 box existed, I hope I don’t come out as rude or anything

lol, no, it's okay! you don't sound rude at all! you're always welcome to ask questions! :)

yes, i'm keeping all the requests that are on my list. i've been really busy with work and general life stuff recently, so pretty much any works i finish writing at the moment will be just be pushed to my 2024 queue rather an immediate drop if that makes sense.

late winter and all of spring are very busy times for me, so i'm just trying to plan ahead so you all aren't left in the dark. right now, i have one other work that will be posted before the end of this year, but that will most likely be it (unless it's something super quick and easy for me to write).

i don't know if i've mentioned this before, but even when i choose not to write a request, i always save it in a word document for future reference in case i ever change my mind about it!

i never completely delete requests unless it's something that makes me uncomfortable.

hopefully this clarified some things for you! pls let me know if you need anything else <3

[idxchanyeol-blog]

welcome oblivion.

in which chanyeol and @doyoonid find themselves at the beginning of the end.

Poizn have always been on a timer. From day one it had seemed like a silent, unacknowledged truth between them that this was never going to last. They’re trouble, people say, shrouded in infamy. They were a time bomb, waiting to blow and, if Chanyeol had anything to do with it at least, bring down half of the company that he blames for his misfortunes with them. And yet the years creep by, repeatedly they manage to pull themselves back from the brink of oblivion and prove that maybe, just maybe, it could work.

The years have begun to mellow Chanyeol slightly, his spite and disdain for the company diverted to other channels to get what he wants. As much as it pains him to do so, he decides to play the game. They continue their upwards trajectory and he decides it’s best to simply make a quiet exit at the end of their contracts and move onto other things rather than making a show of breaking the shackles. It’s difficult to petition other companies from the courtroom dock or the dungeon after all. When Love Scenario comes around, he begins to convince himself that perhaps the detonator was a dud.

But now the countdown is about to hit zero, and everything is primed to explode.

When the company bring them in mid-way through promotions for Killing Me (The first song they’ve released in a long time that matches his taste, by the by) he thinks nothing of it. One of them has probably just been clumsy, slipped up or put their foot in their mouths again. Usual Poizn things to be swept under the carpet. When they’re pulled in individually, the solemn look on the faces opposite soon cause him to re-evaluate, brows knitting into a frown.

The situation is explained, two of the other members are suing for release from their contracts, and whilst Poizn won’t be formally disbanded they’ll be put on indefinite hiatus and focus on solo careers instead. Chanyeol simply sits, stony faced and staring into their eyes, features filling with more fire and fury with every passing second. After a while the words begin to blur together, Chanyeol too furious to process the barrage of information.

All he hears is that two people are fleeing the sinking ship that they’d swore they’d all go down on together. All he hears is that they’ve waited until the very end, the moment that could cause the most lasting damage to all of them, to do something so objectively stupid. All he hears is that the closest thing he’s had to family is being torn apart from the inside.

All he hears is that he’s been betrayed by those he trusted.

The two in question are conspicuous in their absence, perhaps just as well. Had they had the nerve to show their faces they’d likely have had meetings with his fists as well as management, and right now a low profile is the order of the day. He only realizes that his own meeting has reached it’s conclusion when the room is filled with silence, eyes looking at him expectantly. It sits for a moment, stagnates as he realizes that battle lines have been drawn and that he is on the side of those he’d once considered enemies. A strange feeling, to say the least.

Rising to his feet, he simply bows and makes a wordless exit. He’s not the first to go in, unsure if he’s the last. Head still reeling, stomach tying itself in knots, each step through the halls serves simply to swirl the maelstrom of emotion. At least they’ve had the decency to tell them rather than them finding out through the media; in truth it’s more than he’s expected from them.

Where he’s going is a mystery, home perhaps, or at least some quiet corner of the building to compose his thoughts. Company is perhaps not the best idea given his current temperament, so wherever he lands he knows it’ll be alone. The universe seems to have other ideas though. As he begins in the direction of the lobby a familiar face, though for how much longer is another mystery, stands in his path.

“Doyoon, hyung, what the fuck is going on. Have they called you in yet?” He says plainly upon approach, pulling himself together enough to actually form a sentence. It’s intended as a question, but comes out as a statement. There’s something teasing the back of his voice, something unfamiliar that you’d only notice if you were finely attuned to his usual mannerisms and even only then if you were straining. Panic. Uncertainty.  Fear. “You’re supposed to be the sensible one, tell me that I’m not the only one who thinks this whole thing is insane.” The words come fast and louder than perhaps is ideal, laced with their usual venom and thrown with force before he even has a chance to answer. He can feel the glare still lingering on his face, tries his best to contain the raging beast within, hopes that Doyoon knows it isn’t directed at him. “When they came to me with this idea I didn’t think they’d actually follow through, the fucking morons.”

“They’ll listen to you. You could still talk them out of this.”

[savrenim]

hi hi hi. so I just got into the Hamilton fandom, I swear I am four years late where did everybody go, and, well. I am apparently a hamburr shipper. bcs that is my life now. anyway I saw your fic ifmlam and I swear it is my favourite of all the fics I've ever read (and trust me I've read literally thousands). I love it so so much, how do you write fics like that??? I cried about four times during the whole thing, I stayed up till 4am reading it even when I had to wake up at 7 because it is just. that. good. I could not stop thinking about it for days afterwards and ifmlam has just ruined me. I can't think of listen to Hamilton without thinking of ifmlam anymore.

on to my qursttion: is it abandoned? of course it's perfectly FINE if it is. don't let anyone tell u differently, your fic is YOURS and u are amazing.

but pls I really need closure from ur fic, it has been haunting me if its abandoned or ongoing and I've read ur other fics and they are just chefskiss and thank you so much for writing them all. thank you thank you thank you, I will never be able to thank you enough for writing this fic and for everything it's done for me. I am probably thousands of miles away but I am sending you virtual jugs through a co.puter screen right now.

(don't feel pressured to reply to this or update it flam, I know how overwhelming it can get with so many messages and after a while u get desensitized to it. u can literally reply "thx. itfmlam is abandoned" and I would still be amazingly star struck. anyway has gotten way too long and I need to sleep and I'm sorry u probably won't see this so I'm just talking to myself right now but bye!!)

and thank you so so much for writing itfmlam.

aaaah hello anon!

thank you so so much???? I am so??? honored??? that ifmlam rates so highly to you, and also that you've read my other fics??????

the answer to the "is ifmlam abandoned" question is probably the worst possible one, which is pretty much "I do want to finish it, both for the folks that still want closure as well as it bothers to me have abandoned projects that are in the public eye/ already partially published, but also, it is last on my current writing projects list"

my current actually active writing projects list, kind of in order of priority, is

I'm literally three chapters away from being Actually Fully Done with the not-quite-first-not-quite-second let's call it 1.5th draft of an actual?? full?? original?? novel?? Opus which of course then goes out to beta readers and then gets who-knows-how-much edited and then maybe beta readers again if a lot does change and then a copyeditor my mom, my copyeditor is my mom, and maybe my little brother he's one of the betas but is very good at catching typos and then I!!! get to publish it!!!! which is the single thing I am most excited for!!!!!!!!! this should be closed up in the next week or two, and then take a while for people to actually read the draft and get back to me.

I really desperately want to finish my open-but-like-90%-written fic, which means we raise it up, the final chapter of to the bottom of the river bc I realized that it was kind of incomplete, and the second chapter of a buried and a burning flame because any more work there will need to wait until the author publishes the next book in the series. this should be closed up in the next month or two.

Speedwrite the draft of the second book of the Opus series so that hopefully by the time book 1 edits are happening, I have an almost complete draft of the second book. this is mostly me side-eyeing myself about taking nearly four years to write the first book, but that is solidly in part because I had so many other open projects which point 2 is about clearing that docket. this should be done in the next year.

And then just have my major projects be, at least until books 1-5 are written and published, books 1-5 of that because that is arguably the first major 'plot arc' of the series, so if I'm looking for a pause point on writing, that's probably where to stop.

There are two or three other short side projects (a weird fun second person short story tentatively titled witch-queen, a collection of four short stories Memoirs about a not-so-evil necromancer and the shenanigans he gets up to trying to rule a kingdom, working title Perfectly Normal Recipe Blog which is a collaborative project about a perfectly normal recipe blog that definitely doesn't include anything out of the normal) that will happen when they happen

There are other projects that are on the backburner -- The Numanok Files, a series of probably 12-15 short novellas about a mercenary/ bounty hunter esque person in space whose specialty is dealing with hauntings, but, like, 80% of their jobs is actually "you are effectively a space home inspector pointing out faulty wiring reacting to solar flares/ there's a weird alien fungus/ it's carbon monoxide okay change your atmosphere filters" and 20% of it is punching ghosts; there's a post-post apocalypse novel that I want to write that I know characters and general pacing and half the setting but need to work out the other half and figure out how much aesthetic I want to commit to; there's Strangeside7 aka spacerace book that is my reaction to how much I love how Redline the anime movie commits itself to "no we are about a race, like 60% of the screentime is just fully going to be an utterly ridiculous sci fi space race"; there's even a ridiculous YA trilogy that I would have to completely transplant the setting but might end up writing because the interplay between angel-physics and physics-physics was one of my favorite things in the world. and I guess the weird ridiculous technically a sequel series to ifmlam that was going to be published as original books that was basically me having fun with 'okay I fucking love star wars prequels old rotting space bureaucracy galactic republic style' except with seers and that also still might happen because it does have some of the coolest sci fi concepts and honestly I thiiiink that's all?

but the tl;dr of that timeline is I'm trying to finish a punch of projects Right Now, so that I can write books 2-5 of Opus, and then when I'm done that (which honestly, my average fiction-writing output is close to 100k a year. if I'm concentrating purely on one project, and writing books that are about 100k, we are talking four years. although my job situation is super up in the air in that period and writing might get put solidly on the backburner as I try to make it in academia, so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯) I will re-evaluate which projects go next, and that's when ifmlam is likely to come up for review.

I do not have any expectations that I will make it as an original author. I'm planning on posting all of my stuff online for free, but, like. it is incredibly difficult to convince people to try out even a piece of free and easily accessibly original work even if one has a huge following, I am a very small fanfiction author, and from what I can tell the majority of the people who are interested in my work are mostly interested in me finishing ifmlam. writing is a hobby for me, and while I'm writing mostly for me--and hence the for me bit at least for the next five years is pretty solidly going to be this series that I am deeply excited about and have sunk my heart and soul into every single aspect of--I'm human, and I don't really like shouting into the void, and I expect if I spend five years publishing to absolutely no response I will either stop writing for a while and do other things gods know my life is busy enough, return to fandom in general to write some other fanfic about whatever I get deeply into, or return to a work that I actually get response to. so ifmlam will probably start getting worked on a bit at that point one way or another. unless, of course, we are in the incredibly rare timeline in which I do make it as an original author, there are people who are deeply hyped for my original works and an actual demand for them, in which case as you may have noticed there are enough ideas there to keep me busy for a decade or two, and they will just get my full attention instead of fanfiction*. in this timeline, I will do what I was considering doing a few years ago, which is officially declare ifmlam otherwise abandoned and make one more giant chapter update which is a full and cleaned up outline of what I was going to write, interspersed with the scenes already written, and have ifmlam be given at least that closure.

*I want to make it clear that I very much love fanfiction and am proud to have been a fanfiction author and in my heart of hearts would keep writing it forever, I just also have a lot of ideas for characters and settings and magic systems and Aesthetics and I have been biting at the bit to write something that is //mine// and all mine and only mine for a while, I don't see original work as superior so much as there are a dozen fandoms that I am currently in and bursting to make content about except oops these fandoms currently only exist in my head, and I want to correct that

of course given how much as writing is my vent activity and I write what I'm in the mood for, there's a chance I'll feel ifmlam cravings before then, just... expect it to take a couple of years for an update, but also for there to be an update one way of another in a couple of years? but as for right now, I'm turning to original writing, because that is what brings me joy.

but I am really deeply honored that it brought you so much joy!!! and while I will never publish spoilers in a public place, if you message me off anon I am perfectly happy to give a run-down of my current plans for the ending, bc I know "wait a couple years and see" is not the most satisfactory of answers! and hey maybe you'll be like me and once you've given Opus a try you'll decide you like it better too, it does have Seers although they are deeply different Seers than in ifmlam but imo it's very gay and fun and at least politics on one side

[obeymematches]

Hello! May I request for a matchup?

I am a bisexual, Demigirl ENFP-T personality type.

I'd say I'm somewhat independent but would love to have someone by my side to happily live with, I find trust as something that is very important and due to past reasons it can be difficult to earn my full trust. I try to always be a reasonable and mature person, but I can get irritated at a few things (like LGBTQ+ discrimination, racism or plain asshole stupidity) that can tick off a temper, but usually I'm a person of patience, though if I do get really angry then I'm gonna also end up having a mental breakdown later -. I'm fine with waiting and am usually very forgiving. Religiously I'm an atheist, technically ex-christian due to family reasons. I come from Estonia, so I'm bilingual with English and Estonian but am also learning Russian and German. (Thinking of learning Japanese one day too)

I'm a rather fidgety person, fingers always have to be doing something, I can also have rather terrible memory sometimes with things and can forget.

I have low self confidence and self worth, usually struggle to be optimistic and can be rather emotional, also often an absolute empath when it comes to fictional characters for example.

I can be a workaholic and can be terrible at taking care of myself, I easily lose track of time and can forget to eat at times, also have a fuzzy appetite so sometimes I might not want to eat anything at all. I care alot about other people's well being though, for me appearance doesn't matter, I care for the personality and think everyone is beautiful in their own way. I am a short chubby brunette with a boy haircut and brown eyes, my hair is often thick and poofy and sometimes hell to take care of, due to some health reasons I have an itchy scalp and have to often scratch my head. My fashion depends on just if the clothes are comfortable to wear in the moment, that's it. I wear glasses due to a bit of a negative in my sight.

I sometimes struggle to have a balanced sleep schedule and am often stressed.

I hold a strong love for animals and the nature around us. I especially love cats and reptiles and own a cat and a leopard gecko who I would die for.

Fiction is an important part of my life, the moment I get interested in in some show or franchise you can expect me to become an absolute nerd for it, (good example is Pokemon.) I am the type to analyze characters and really care about everything. Books, shows, movies, theatre, anything goes. I really also love music, 60% of the time you can find me listening to music somewhere, maybe even singing, I multitask alot too. My music taste depends on what connections I make to fictional media, especially that of my own, aka stories and characters I've created. My mind is always going like a 1000km/h with all types of thoughts, my own fictional universe only keeps expanding which I wish to share with the world. My dream is to become a writer one day, which I'm very passionate about, and another thing I really want to do one day is travel the world. I also do some art and animation, but intend to keep it as a hobby on the side.

I'm an ambivert, shy and hesitant around new people especially those of higher authority and importance, but incredibly outgoing with the people I'm familiar and comfortable with, never getting tired from them. Affection starved, expect lots of hugs, not that much into PDA tho. For me first impression matter, on my part, I am quick to think that people hate me or are annoyed with me.

Even with my fuzzy appetite I do like food, especially of strong flavour, I tend to seem to like asian or Italian food alot. I'd say I'm decent and cooking but not very good at baking.

Minimalistic, not very demanding when it comes to anything, it's basically like "Better than nothing." would be the type to live in a rather small house one day. Somewhat organized in my own way, sometimes I can act a little OCD though when something is out of place in a manner that it's just - no.

I can be rather talkative, when getting in a conversation with me expect to talk for hours about all types of things, wherever the conversation goes. Even better when it's over a cup of tea or a long walk somewhere outside.

I usually try to be as polite and kind as possible, though I sometimes struggle, I always try to have hope for the world, despite my incredibly pessimistic mindset.

For a partner, I look for someone I can geniuenly be happy and comfortable with, someone I can be open with and not worry about being lied to. I would be incredibly loyal to them and I'd hope them to be as well, of course, I don't get jealous or worked up if they're hanging out with friends. I want them to also be happy, someone I feel like I could spend the rest of my life with. Someone who'd be okay with traveling and seeing the world with, someone I can just have a moment to relax with, sometimes just talk and listen to eachother. Like stated before the appearance for me doesn't matter, it's the personality- what's inside that does. I shall note, the harmless teasing can get to me. Someone who's a geniuenly good person despite whatever flaws they might have.

I hope this is long enough ^^

Hi my dear patient anon! 

guess what time it is!✨

i put a read more because it’s one long post! 

OK so as I read through your request I had Levi, Belphie, Beel and Satan on my mind. Though Belphie is out of the picture fast since you have low self-esteem and if anyone then he probably would take advantage of that. Satan too I think. (I know in general he is viewed as an overall good boy but i feel like he might scare someone with low confidence levels when he is at his worst. also he can be manipulative too if there is a situation)

wait- damn- Simeon also exists (also Mammon? though with him and you it’d be a very rough start)

so after some elimination and comparison between dynamics including Simeon, Levi and Beel I decided to match you with Levi but I highly encourage befriending the other two!  ✨ Simeon because of the similar interests + excellent cooking and Beel because he is a mom-friend + you’d always have something to eat too if he is your friend! 

phew it wasn’t an easy decision but here it is! 

Okay so let’s see Levi

Okay first things first I think we need to change your level of confidence my friend. Which means starting off this relationship as friendship - honestly he is on the same page as you regarding this for similar reasons so you two can relate to the other. But once you gain a healthy amount of sense of self-worth + confidence I think this friendship could develop into a very loving and healthy relationship! 

Just because he is a demon I don’t think he would use you, lie to you, manipulate you or anything similar to that. I mean you have similar interests and in canon Levi shows just the bare minimum of interest to someone whose lifestyle + likes aren’t similar to his. Also you’re his only friend besides Henry so why would he treat you bad I mean come on!!! he’s not stupid!! 

Since your relationship is based on being friends trust will come in time, do not worry! Levi is also picky when it comes to ppl so again as you are in the same boat you understand the other deeply. 

I mean Levi can be serious when the situation calls for it but in general you being with him would give you a nice balance with your maturity. He’s not childish but he has different approaches! Meaning he could learn from you but you could also learn from him! 

Tbh i highly doubt he would ever tick you off either or purpose or not. He is mostly annoyed by stupid ppl (like Mammon) and normies but since you are also into anime you’re safe!  

You having an interest in languages is something he will find fun! if i recall in the devildom there’s only one language? (they speak human for you though) so finding out about human world lore like that through you is going to be fun! also pls learn Japanese with him! (pretty sure he already knows so he could help you practice)

Okay so he can also spiral down due to lack of self-worth + self-love but as his friend you’re not supposed to let that happen!! 

well he also tends to forget about himself but on a side note he is very caring about you and your health so he is faster at taking care of you than himself. That’s why you have to look after the other especially at first when both of your self-worth levels are so low. 

pls tell him he is beautiful he will be flustered for the rest of the day but it’s worth it trust me

he absolutely finds glasses cute af he just has to look at you and !!!  

He’s not big into fashion either, though he would love to cosplay with you so hopefully you are ok with wearing cosplay sometimes!

Also your workaholic tendencies might get to him sometimes? like i’m not saying he is lazy but for sure he could do better. Thanks to your influence he will do better! 

the two of you gushing over fictional characters is just so cute;; think about that!! 

ok he is your #1 supporter of becoming a writer!! pls let him be your beta reader aaaaa

well both of you are passionate so the emount of encouragement happening in this relationship is to die for

him being a shut-in means he’s not very big on traveling, but if he could go with you he’s quick to change his mind! 

he also has trouble balancing a healthy sleep schedule but that just means you two can spend more time together so it’s a win-win situation

pls leave your cat with Satan when you visit Levi’s room because of Henry :( your gecko is more than welcome though!!! 

okay he is also affection starved af but he would never initiate to save his life so here you being an ambivert is helpful!! also it leaves you space to tease him which is always fun! 

regarding food you have a nice balance going on, he is more of a baker and you are the opposite! though cooking/baking with the other is always fun!! when he notices your lack of eating he will make sure to order/bake delicious food from the human world for you! 

well he isn’t the messiest so hopefully your OCd wouldn’t kick in when you spend time in his room. I like to HC that he is actually very clean. If anything is out of place in his room it is because it was meant to be there. Or he was in a hurry. 

about long walks outside you’d probably have to nag him a bit but soon he will realize that it’s actually not so bad.

bby is one of the most loyal demons out there so no worries you’re safe!! however he can be jealous easily so it’s nice that you are also loyal! just make sure to clear boundaries before establishing a relationship! 

he’s not one to tease you but he is very into you teasing him, so that’s that

overall i don’t think this relationship would have huge conflicts - sure, you have to nag him about going out but he is not going to protest once he learns that it’s actually. fun. to go out sometimes. i’m more concerned about the two of you’s self-worth and confidence levels, but again it’s about what you do for growth and it’s not something that can’t be changed if you want to change it. besides these i think it’s a very healthy relationship and you both can be yourselves!  

[hannie-dul-set]

mfking tumblr won’t let me reblog in peace i just lost everything i typed in 💀 anw will try to say it all here again, hope i still remember everything T_T

SPOILERS AHEAD but i will try my best not to spoil anything below.

ok maybe i’ll start to the part where she just lost it — when she saw how her mother was just okay with her sister going out at night to have fun and all that. oof the way i felt that. hard. with all due respect to the parents i’d say GOOD FOR HER. that she just burst out her feelings. i mean IT REALLY IS UNFAIR FOR HER. they were (or SHE, her mom) was, or still is being unnecessarily (?) hard on her. sure times change and their beliefs change and all but i personally think that still doesn’t excuse the fact that they don’t give her as much freedom? dang.

next, ok i think that’s alr a lot of words for someone who’s about to say i’m still a lil speechless after reading the interlude like i haven’t rlly processed everything yet would u believe me lmaooo but OKAY SEE, i know THAT THERE’S A HUGE SIGNIFICANCE TO THE TITLE. like of course there’s a reason why you titled it like that. we just don’t know what or why yet but AAAAAAAA :(((

also (i get a glimpse of flirty jaemin once now i need more 👀 lol) THE PEACH TREES. :( that’s where and when they finally made it official:(((( GODDDD and back to the present when they were both there as well definitely remembering the events unfolded there back then lmaoo yes we know about the slooooooooowburn but i just rlly want them to finally have A talk or THE talk whichever pls. when, you ask oc? YEA SAME HERE SAME QUESTION (lol pls note this is in no way of pressuring or anything)

i’ll most probably get back to u once i get to read it all again right from the first part. I HATE THIS APP SO MUCH i had so much more to say but ofc with this brain i alr forgot a huge chunk of it >:(((

before i go tho i just want to say i’m vvvv much a weakass bitch for jaemin damn now my crush on him has grown a lot bigger it’s dangerous lmaooo anw thank you so so much for this update i hope you’re taking care of yourself esp with all the studying and doing tasks you have to do >< totally get that

tumblr proving once again that it's a big boo boo bitch >:(( but gah. hello. hi. i love u. thank u for reading and thank u even mORE for leaving this behind :(( will put my responses under the cut HAHSHJA

when i said i projected in this fic, i did not lie AHAHAHA yeahh....i have a younger brother and the treatment is p much the same aHA okay. that aspect in this stort is just me venting LMAO but eniway it'll get better in act 2. i promise 😭😭. hopefully i'll do a good job wrapping all the pieces tgt HAGSJSKW

aside from the whole making it official business HAHAHA. the title means two things, significantly: patience & waiting. it takes at least four years for a peach tree to bear fruit, and following the timeline....it's been four years since they....u know.....💔💔.......meaning it also took four years for them to reconnect. reconcile. and hopefully rekindle the past in the next act HUEHUSHSJAISK (it's gonna end happy i promise just wanted it to sound suspenseful 😭😭).

seriously na jaemin....raising the bar higher than my height....thank u so much for reading again bb :< i'm sure (ofc i do, i wrote this 😭😭) that they'll get the chance to talk soon HAHHSJA timing is one of the major themes of this, and i just really wanted to paint it as realistically as possible that, as much as we'd like to go through our main character moment, our lives don't revolve around love alone 😔 (i.e. my college au romance isn't playing out as i'd like. it's deadlines, due dates and readings instead of drama, dates, and flirting 😭😭) bUT I DIGRESS—

[ilkkijangege]

123

Chad Chronicles is on hold while we work from home.

I'll keep updating this post if anything does happen to us.

Basically, I was telling Jacqui how J*ck told me I should join Tinder, use it during work to find out of he is there and if we would match. But Jacqui was like "what if you don't see him there but his friends see you??" So I was like "Then good na he's not on it 😂 as if he's ever talked about me to his friends 😂"

Then, nearly an hour later, I looked at my "Friends You May Know" on FB (there's a rumor that that is a list of people who's viewed your profile) then I saw that one of his friends are on it!!! I was shook, if the algorithm theory is right, then his friend was stalking me which means he has talked about me to his friends. LOL AYAN NANAMAN OVERTHINKING BES EH 😂

Then Jacqui told me how she asked her bf: if you offer a lift to a girl, does that mean he's interested? Her bf said yes but I shouldn't overthink and wait for another big sign.

Anyways, my Mandalorian plan is still going ahead. 😂

20/3/2020

Well, we didn't really talk online, he welcomed one of the guy on our team because he just got his access sorted today but I did not get the same treatment yesterday 😭

It's G tho 😂 Seems like he really is super smart because I looked into one of his chats and he used the word "futile". I'm just....wow big word 😂

Lol anyways, we're out for the weekend, Disney+ comes out on Tuesday, will try to binge it as soon I can so I can message him by Thursday or something 😂 really hope our conversation can flow naturally. Like I will just say "oh I've finished it and I am now obsessed with Baby Yoda or I can see why you are obsessed with Baby Yoda, he is adorable!" Then hopefully he can be like "What did you think of it?" Etc etc and we live happily ever after. CHOS.

.

21/03/2020

Swear everyone is telling me to either text him or to keep my feet on the ground and let the connection grow.

I REALLY DO NOT KNOW. He keeps doing all these things to me and I am always overthinking it. My friends have told me not to but it is sooo hard. They told me to wait for other signs.

I really want to take a risk and tell him but I really do not want to ruin our new found friendship. I mean I really hope he's just waiting to make more signs because he doesn't think it's time yet or something but I just don't want to give give give and not have anything in return. Haaaay Lord, please help me!

.

22/03/2020

This morning, I told my mom about the fact that he drove me home. At first, I couldn't tell her immediately, I was just staring at her the whole time and she asked "Anong kailangan mo sakin?" I said "nothing." "Bakit naka tingin ka sakin?" Then finally, I said, "Wala lang, may update lang ako sayo." Then she was like "ano may date ka???" I replied, "No update!!! Hinatid nya ako kila tita nung last time kaming pumasok.." and she was just like "ayie, hinahatid ka na ha." Then she told me, "yan dapat, cool ka lang. Pero tapusin mo muna.." She didn't complete her sentence but I knew she was talking about my FE1s but then she was probably thinking that I am nearly 25 and she should let me be. Hahaha. Then she asks "nag offer ba xa?" Sabi ko oo 😂

Then she asks me if he texts me and I told her no, we only talk in work. Then she replied, "ganun talaga" 😂 hay mother, if she had asked more details, I would have told her how I am getting mixed signals from him kaya di ko tlga sure kung gusto nya din ako 😂 but she didn't, so let's leave that for another time. 😂

Lord, pleaseee I trust you. If he doesn't reach out to me, ako na tlga mag rereach out. Need to binge The Mandalorian asap.

.

23/03

He keeps reading my messages on our GC immediately but does not with other people

ANO BA GUSTO MO PARAMDAM KA NAMAN PLS

Happened again at 16;09 ANO BA HUHU

.

24/03

STOP SEEN ZONING MY MESSAGES AS SOON AS I POST THEM AND START TALKING TO ME

.

25/03

No sign of Chad life anywhere, he was pretty much quiet today, not reading/replying to messages etc

.

26/03

I FINISHED THE MANDALORIAN YOU GUYS.

I took a risk and messaged him. It took me a whileeeeee but I just took the plunge.

Basically, I asked him how he was and how working from home has been coming along. It took him like 6 mins to reply, which was fine, we were in work so understandable.

He told me he is relaxed but about to get boring. He asked me ‘how about you?’ So I sent him this quite long response how I’ve been relaxed working in my jammies and binged watch Mandalorian, bummed about 2 eps so illegally streamed the rest. Told him that I am now also obsessed with Baby Yoda (he laughed react to this). Then he said how it was dumb for Disney not to release everything at once. (Was upset he didnt ask me what I thought of the show)

Then I told him if Netflix can do it, so can they. But he said people would just sign up for trial, watch it then cancel. Thennnn he asked if I liked it. I said yes except for Ch.6′s characters. He said he thinks you were not meant to like them.

Then I asked him if he thinks Fennec Shand is still alive. He was like which one was HE again? So I told him correction she* (laugh emoji) then explained her character. He was like ‘Oh yeaaahhh. Then boba fett was supposedly the one who found her” I replied ‘yup that’s the theory but I feel like she was pretty much lifeless already and maybe just a teaser for boba fett then?'

Then nearly 3 hours later, I go check our workplace chat and he seenzoned me. Okur. He read the message at 20.27. He better reply tomorrow or I’ll take it a sign that he really just isn’t interested in me.

On a side note, he went on lunch at 6pm, came back at around 7ish but didn't change his Status xD it's either he forgot or na distract na sya sakin CHOS sige laaaangg.

I swear I hope we can talk more tho. Since he seenzoned me, I will not message him again cos I don't want to look eager/desperate so yeah. Byeeeeee.

.

30/03

STOP READING MY MESSAGES, dear heart and head, STOP THINKING ABOUT HIM.

I know you get notifications that "Bianca messaged..." Does your heart flutter when my name appears? STOP OVERTHINKING BIANCA.

Ayan nnmn tayo sa seenzone eh 14:55. Ano ba?

.

1/04/20

I had a dream that he messaged me. He asked me how I was and for some reason, he told me to go to Google Music because they were having a sale and that I should make a track for him. (Like what?)

Also dreamt that he took me home again. When we got to our house, he told me we needed to talk. I think he confessed.

Ay ayoko na.

.

5/4/20

Why do I keep dreaming about him? I dreamt that he messaged me on FB, really long paragraphs of him confessing his feelings.

Urgh.

Oh and I also paid for a tarot reading of how he really sees me. I mean idk if it's real but there are feelings there but there may be a third party but the reader could not 100% confirm it. It is highly probable, he's a single man who could totally date around. The reading also mention how he finds me attractive and sees a long term energy with me. It also says how he may not be ready for a serious romantic relationship but he can see it progressing down the line. But honestly, I do not see him as someone who longs for sex, yknow? I am nearly sure that he could still be a virgin but the fact that he frequented Krystle in college, makes me question it. I mean, he is a white male, it is something I am not super pressed about.

I've just been thinking, if I were to get with a Filipino guy, is there anyone out there who has never had a girlfriend or who has even dated anyone?

Chad really gives me the vibe of never having a girlfriend before but I really see him as not looking for anything at the moment to focus on his dream job.

.

6/4/20

Okay, why did I have a dream that he proposed to me??

I think we argued over something and then a few days later, he proposed. Wtf.

From what I remember, he only proposed in his car. lol

.

8/4/20

So we had a team call today. He has not been working since like Thursday last week because he could not get his VPN to work.

But dang. I heard his voice after 3 weeks. He sounds the same as in real life but his American accent is more prominent 😂

Then our TL said we might still be working from home for the next 3-4 months and I'm just like. HUHUHU.

Will I be over you by then?

.

10/04/20

Had a dream we were back in the office and we were having banters again like nothing has changed.

I think he also messaged me on Facebook one of these isolation days...

I swear I know it was probably unintentional for him to ghost me like that.

.

11/04/20

So I've been searching his Gamer tag on Google, even before I decided to let go of him and there is this one file I keep noticing, it is League of Legends and it seems his password is Yugioh246 😂 it is actually hilarious 😂 I didn't know he is that big of a nerd. I don't see it as a bad thing because I like nerds and I am drawn to them but I hope he is not an incel because that is a major turn off.

Yes, I am not wishing for us to be together anymore but I really hope he finds the woman of his dreams. He deserves to have someone who will understand him for who he is.

.

13/04/20

Another thing, how do I listen to songs without thinking of him?? It is getting frustrating. I used to listen to these songs without thinking of him and now all I do is associate these songs to him. Nakakainis.

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14/04/20

Why do you keep reading my messages then stop reading others' after mine??

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18/04/20

Argh why did I dream of him again?

We were back in the office daw and I sat in a different computer because I was avoiding him as in. For some reason, the coat rack was behind him so when it was home time, I grabbed my coat as fast as I could so he would not talk to me. He was slouched in his seat and looked really tired. His hair was long like mid length sufer dude hair, he was not wearing his hat. But then he saw me and called me and said "Bianca, I'll give you a ride home." I replied, gaga naman ate nyo, "If it's not raining, I can walk but if it is, I'll take the bus." He replied, "What time is your bus?" I replied, "In an hour." He replied, "Okay, if it's raining, I'll wait for you here, let me know." Then I grabbed my stuff from my locker, I went out the office and it was raining. I went back into the office and told him that it was raining. So he got up from his seat and we walked to his car. On the way, I noticed he looked really tired and his eyes were red so I asked him, "Did you not sleep?" His reply was: "Yeah I came to work with no sleep." So we just walked to his car and he opened the door for me. He even adjusted my seat.

Then for some weird reason, we ended up in Dolphins Barn, like the flats and around Tesco. Then there were billboards for Book of Mormons and he saw it he said or read "What about the Mormons?" Then I was confused at first so he pointed at the ads for the Book of Mormons. Then I told him: "Oh I really wanna see that! I heard it's meant to be one of the best Broadway shows." He then tells me he is not a big play fan but there is something he likes. I asked him but he saw another Book of Mormons billboard and pointed to it. Then we reached Reilly's Ave and idk why but my whole family and our old neighbors were all outside. Bsta ang weird talaga na he dropped me off in our old house. Dreams are weird.

So I just thanked him and watched him leave.

Aish why did I dream of you again???

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20/4/20

Had another dream about him. Just why oh why? What are these dreams trying to tell me? I haven't been thinking about him seriously so idk.

Basically in this dream, we were all back in the office. So we got a few newbies who joined our team. And management/TL thought it was a good idea to blend the newbies with the senior agents so there was a complete seat change again. Chad and the guy beside him moved to my old area, as in Chad moved to my old seat. While I was stayed in my current seat. Of course I felt sad that I won't be able to see him face to face as often anymore and that I felt like our friendship will drift apart again.

Basta ano baaa I don't understand this. Do I still have feelings for him deep down?

Oh and he read my message on the group chat again. 10:18am. I mean ok he's been active on the UKI chat today so here's me overthinking again.

.

23/04/20

Another day, another Chad dream.

So in this dream, I was in Tesco with my mom or Aldi, anyways a supermarket.

I wanted to make Tacos so I was at the spice aisle, looking for a taco spice mix. Then out of nowhere, he pops up and sees me. Says hello and asked how I was etc, while I was grabbing the taco spice mix.

Then I told him goodbye but I still kept seeing him everywhere in the store even though I purposely was avoiding him.

WHY DO I KEEP DREAMING OF HIM.

It is honestly annoying. 😭

I just wanna move on.

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27/04/20

Been a while since my last dream but I dreamt that he drove me home, yet again, but I only remember the part where we entered Cherrywood and then I just got out of the car and don't even remember saying thanks. I stood at the front door, until he left.

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28/04/20

Arghhh he read my messages again on the office chat almost instantly at 2.37pm 😩😩😩😩 Whereas our own team's chat has been active all day, yet he has not read the messages on there since yesterday morning!!

Were you expecting that I messaged you or something??? CMON IF YOU WANNA TALK TO ME JUST MESSAGE ME. I already messaged you first, it's your turn.

Ugh I hate overthinking this!!

Also, 26th of April marked the 1st month since we last talked. Hmmmm have I fully moved on? I really don't think I have but I am just trying to live my life. Why must you be an introvert Chad, we'll be waiting for each other forever.

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6/05/20

Hmmmm... Beginning to think he actually has 3 siblings contrary to the fact that I thought he said there are 3 of them in the family, him being the eldest, followed by his sister then his younger brother.

If it is his brother that I saw on FB then it makes sense now because remember when he gave out chocolates for Christmas? I heard him say "my brother's work had them on sale" or something along the lines. And the other brother I was aware of was only a kid. This person I saw matches the bill, from Chicago and went to the same secondary school as him. (AND LOOKS LIKE HIM!!! We may be the same age or a year younger because he graduated secondary school in 2014) [yup he is older than me by 6 months and just like his older brother, he is also very much into Star Wars and video games. But he seems more social than his bro. Haha xa na lang date ko 😂 Chad 2.0 chosss Chad introduce me to your bro para di tayo awkward sa work 😂 They are actually only 10 months apart, I wonder if they are close.]

Hmmmmm why am I such a stalker 😂

(7.6 update: nah saw his bro's IG and he seems like a fckboi, his DP is a mirror selfie of him shirtless, showing off his v line abs 😂)

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13/05/20

It's been a while. As of yesterday, he is fully back to work. We had a team meeting on Monday and he was on it. He said they gave him a laptop to work on. I had myself on mute so I was just listening to him. Yes I wanted to join in on the convo but I needed to stop myself. I need to distance myself until I fully move on from him.

Anyways, today, a case was assigned to me at around 8.30 in the morning. I didn't action it because the office was going mad with chats so I said I was gonna action it when I had a chance later on.

Then I noticed that it disappeared from my queue. I went to my closed cases and I saw that he had actioned it. I mean, I am not saying that he did it on his own free will, our TL may have asked him to go through our team's response received internal queue. Which is aight but this case was not originally mine, but one of his office broskis, na mean? So it's either he did not read the email thread at all or he just decided to close it in MY name. I mean he had to type my name and I wonder if he felt something. CHOSSSSSS 😂

But I'm telling you guys, ever since he got access again, my heart started fluttering again just like when I was still crushing on him, before I moved in front of him and he started giving me all these attention that made me fall in love with him.

I have been trying to move on. I even wrote a 7 page journal entry about my feelings. I've been super distracting myself by watching Kim Possible and staying away from sappy romantic shows 😂

I need more time to heal but it will be okay!

Update 14/5:

I got another case from the same broski, which he actioned yesterday and closed it under his broski's name but he closed the other one on mine.

Ugh why am I overthinking this again!!!

Chad please go away from my feelings 😩

15/5

Today, I helped him out with one of his cases.

He said 'thanks!' whereas the past few days, he's only been replying to people on our team with 'ty!'.

Made me overthink again but I was just being ridiculous 😂 'ty' tapos today sakin 'thanks', special ako chos 😂 honestly wasn't that bothered but okay! Stop giving me special treatment please 😂 don't treat me differently from others if you don't feel the same way because it's unhealthy for me 😂

Helped him again with another one and he said 'thanks!' again urgh. Swear tho, I was hesitating a bit when I was helping him. My heart was thumping again like it did before we started getting comfortable with each other 😭😭😭

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17/5/20

Exactly 2 months since I saw him and when he dropped me home.

Oh Chad. Will I ever be over you.

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18/5/20

Helped him with another case because no one was helping him so I was just being nice.

Bianca don't be marupok pls. You've been making progress. Don't relapse now.

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20/5/20

Another day of helping him out....

Basically he asked our group chat for help, no one replied for like 5 minutes so I said I'll help him.

Then he private messaged me about the case. He told me there were a lot and said "ahah". I should have joked around but I didn't or even asked him how he was 😭

But after I helped him, this was his reply:

Huhuhu parang ang happy nya na may tumulong sa kanya. Chad naman, don't do this to me! I am trying to move on 😭

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21/05/20

Haaaayy... Reading my messages again as soon as I post them. Chad Chad Chad ....

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26/05/20

He legit have not read messages on our office GC since 10.30 this morning. I messaged a few times around 3pm and he kept reading them. Ano ba kasi Chad.

Don't be scared of rejection, I know I may not be showing real signs but I am an awkward turtle, just talk to me.

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27/05/20

As usual no one was helping him again so I private messaged him and asked if anyone was helping yet.

His response:

Hahaha cute 😂 so I told him 'give me the deets, I'll send it up'.

He said 'ty!!', gave me the deets.

Then when I completed it, this was his reply:

Hahaha naloka na xa, double a. Choss. I replied with "anytime 😊" 😂 para konti landi to let him know na I am here to help anytime HAHAHAHAHAHAHA chos

BAKIT HIRAP MAG MOVE ON MGA BESH

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5/6/20

So I've been hesitating about posting this but about 2 days ago? I had a dream about him again. It wasn't just him in it but the dream mostly centered about him and I.

Basically, we there was a party in the office and for some reason, I was getting ready at my desk as in curling my hair (so weird 😂😂😂).

Then Chad decided to go out of the computer area, probs was on a break or something. Then my team decided it was a good idea to hide his baby yoda plushie so I hid it in my locker and when he came back, he kept looking for it and we were just laughing at him. 😂

That was it haha.

But you guys, I've been diligently praying for my vocation and I've been getting signs about marriage etc. What if he's the one? God, please give me more signs.

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15/06/20

So it's been a while. I've been helping him here and there over the last few weeks.

Today's response was "awesome, thanks!"

And that made me kilig inside. 😂

I am awesome, chos! 😂

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16/06/20

Just saw the July Schedule and he is taking 2 weeks holidays 😂

Lol fam watchu gonna do? 😂

Tara let's go on a date chos 😂

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24/06/20

I miss him ☹️ But I've been good with not thinking about him a lot but I just really can't wait to be able to ask him out in person hahaayyyy

Hmmmm I also suddenly wondered if he still has the card I gave him for Christmas. That was a cute card, €4 din un ha hahaha

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3/07/20

Yo wassup.

I had a dream, so we were back in the office. We were on the weekend shift and for some reason, I decided I was staying back for a bit more so he left before me.

Basically, from this dream, it seems that we were on minimal speaking terms. So like as he was leaving, at the computer area door, he said bye to me and idk why, I asked him to have dessert with me on Monday 😂 it was weird 😂

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12/07/20

Okur, I had a dream that he dropped me off again in Cherrywood, like just out of nowhere. Like all I remember was that we were walking to his car together.

He even opened my door and carried my bag and walked me to the front door. Haaayyy....

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14/07/20

So today, I was overthinking again.

Basically there was a post in work where an SME asked him to tag his team. He tagged me first over his broskis and that made me quite overthink again. Like the way he tagged our team was not as if it was alphabetical order. So why did he tag me first?

Hahah ako ung unang pumasok sa isip nya

Huhuhu ayoko naaaaa

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19/07/2020

So he is on his 2 weeks PTO from tomorrow.

Haaaaayyyyy miss ko na xa, bakit ba kasi ako ganito. Pero as long as he has not said that he is not interested in me, may chance pa rin tlga kami eh.

Wag lang tlaga xang umalis ng company and it will be grand.

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08/08/20

Been a while since this was updated, nothing's been happening between us so there is nothing to report. But anyways, lately I've been having (r-rated) fantasies about him 😂 argh I just want to be with him 😂

He's also started playing Fall Guys on the PS4, we have something in common na chos 😂

Also, there's an SME position in work and I have a feeling he might apply huhu if he gets it, he'll be level 12 and I won't be able to date him 😭😂

Honestly still think may something sila ng QA namin huhuhu

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16/08/20

So I told MF on the 14th of August about everything that has happened, like how I was getting mixed signals that made me overthink alot to me messaging him twice and being left on read, also how I plan on asking him out when we get to the office. (Also how he dropped me home.)

I told her how it's been very hard for me in the last 5 months, trying to move on from someone I don't even talk to. She was very understanding and told me that she also has not talked to Chad since WFH, as she was also left on read. She said he may not be the texty type because he's quite shy.

I was honestly shook. I thought they talk, even on our workplace chat because they are close in work. Cause I asked her if it was even a good idea for me to ask him out or if she knows if he's seeing someone because I don't want to intrude. I told her I want to take a risk with him but a part of me fears rejection.

She asked me if I ever thought about asking him out for coffee since things are opening up. I told her, yes but I don't think we are in that level where I could just ask him randomly.

So her plan is to build up a rapport with him again and find out the goss. I really hope she can build something up with him and that if ever, this time, there will be progress.

Until I know I have a chance with him, I can't move on. If he's seeing someone, then okay at least I'll know where I stand.

I'll let you know if there's progress.

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19/08/2020

So today, I helped him out with a case.

One of the internal tools was not working for him so he asked for help. I was the first to reply so I told him to send me the details and I'll do it.

When I did it for him, he said 'Perfect thank you!' and I just replied, "No worries 😊" landi landi with that emoji 😂 Wish we kinda had a conversation going though 😭 Wish I asked him how he was but it wasn't appropriate okay 😂

Haaayy can't wait to find out if he's dating anyone or when I'll see him again so I can ask him out. HAAAAAYYYYSSSS.

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9/9/20

So yesterday, I asked our group chat for help on a case. I didn't really expect that he would be the one to respond but he did and that was cute. Awww. ❤️

Looool I wish I could've thanked him personally but other people started helping me out so yeah. But for a brief moment, I was kilig haha

Really wanna ask him out already! But cases are rising again and I don't want him to use Covid as an excuse so I'll wait again until cases have slowed down.

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13/09/20

So today, I had a video call with MF. She told me that she got a new job 😭 meaning, she won't be able to be my wingwoman now 😭

I am happy for her but this cuts down all my chances with Chad 😭

But she did talk to Chad and he applied to the SME role apparently, I think he may have already been interviewed but he didn't hear back from them yet.

MF also said that we should meet up for a coffee date "with Bianca" and he said we should hahaha cmon MF make this a reality please so I can talk to him 😭