#(holds head in hands) AOUGHHHH
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calling out sick bc i thought about niki finding the tnt underneath the podium on nov 16 and quietly replacing the dirt that covered it again
#'its 2023' shhh. shh now#i just. clenches fist. it's about trust rainduo is about trust trusting each other even when it feels like everything is going wrong#and then repeatedly proving to each other why they don't deserve that trust. why they haven't earned it#niki thinks wilbur left her there essentially to die and she saw him encourage tommy and techno's punch up and those messy final minutes of#pogtopia but she left the tnt there anyway. and she didn't say a word because despite it all she trusted him not to pull the trigger#because she trusts him and he's her friend and she loves him and that was the easy way out. because trusting wilbur was so easy#and wilbur just constantly trusts that niki has her shit together when she doesn't. she'll be fine in manburg! she's /niki/#he dies and comes back and he cant bring himself to face her because he thinks she's so much better than he is#he trusts her word her judgement her character so highly#but she burned out. she did shitty things. she really hurt people and people he cares about no less#he blows up l'manberg but she'll be fine. he puts her on a pedestal that she hasn't earned#(holds head in hands) AOUGHHHH
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