#(he absolutely would)

[starcurtain]

I don't have the time at the moment to write a full essay but someone should definitely remind me to write a post later on the phenomenon that is Ratio's assholery being sanded away by well-meaning fans.

In a quest to fight against the "Ratio is a condescending jerk" stereotype from Ratio haters, pro-Ratio fans have now swung too far the other way, making him into a saint who loves everyone, isn't disdainful of failure, and believes every single person can equally pull themselves up out of mediocrity.

None of those things are actually true based on the game itself, where Ratio is, in fact, a judgmental person who struggles to accept the mundanity of those around him, believes in an educational elite, and can be exceptionally condescending, whether he means it or not.

He's a flawed character. His own flaws are absolutely central to his character, in fact. And yet none of his flaws preclude him from being meaningful, nuanced, and likeable.

It's okay that he's not actually that nice.

In defending a character from one extreme ("he's a bad person"), we don't have to jump all the way to the other side ("he's an angel").

He can be a little bit of a dick and still be a great character, promise.

[samhaven]

LETS-A FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOOO

[here-comes-the-moose]

Crosshair: Echo my stomach hurts. :(

Echo: Stop drinking iced coffee without eating!

Crosshair: No.

[cheruv-ii]

So are we in agreement Ben dabbles in weed or am I alone on this one

[paimonial-rage]

a great undertaking - albedo

ship: albedo x reader

synopsis: after a week of radio silence during crunch time, you’re just about ready to call it quits.

notes: idol!au, reader is albedo’s manager, tw drugging (this is g-rated i swear), warning: i wrote this two years ago and the writing shows

Many assumed being the manager of the hit soloist, Kreideprinz, was an easy job. You couldn't exactly blame them. It wasn't like he held many concerts. He preferred to stay away from the public eye as well, so talk shows and events starring him were rare. He also didn't focus on his musical career as much as other soloists as well. You had to agree. Any normal person that shared such traits would definitely be an easy person to manage. However, Kreideprinz was anything but normal.

"Albedo? Albedo, please! It's been a week already. Do you know how difficult it is trying to schedule a concert with people from two separate agencies? Do you know how scary that pink-haired lady from HNMIzaka Entertainment is!? Please, I'm begging you!!" You cried as you pounded your fist against his lab door.

When all you heard was silence, your eyes filled with tears and you slid to the ground in a crumpled heap. This was the end, wasn't it? The KA5EN reunion was scheduled in two months' time and there were still so many things to prepare. They hadn’t even practiced as a group yet, which was the source of your despair. You swore if you told that pink-haired lady you were ‘still discussing possible dates with Mr. Kreideprinz' one more time, you were certain she was going to murder you in broad daylight.

Your lower lip wobbled as you leaned against the door and stared up at the depressingly bright fluorescent lights. Perhaps you should quit while you were ahead. Sure, Klee would probably miss you, but you didn't know if you could do this anymore. It was getting to the point you avoided looking into the mirror for fear of spotting gray hairs. It was a good thing Albedo was a straightforward person. Your resignation letter wouldn't have to be too long–

"Wha!?"

You squeaked when your backrest disappeared behind you. It took a few moments for you to realize the back of your head did not slam into the hard tile but onto something soft and bumpy. Glancing up, you could see the handsome prince himself looking down at you.

"Good morning, First."

This time, tears really did fall. There he was, the man you had been begging to see for the past week. Your angel. Your knight in shining armor. Your Messiah that would save you from death! And–

Also, the man that threw you into this whole mess in the first place.

"Albedoooo..." You sobbed as your shoulders shook pathetically, "I have very conflicted feelings toward you right now..."

He sighed before reaching down to help you up.

"I did inform you this recent project of mine would take a while. Would you like something to drink?"

"Yes, but not for a whole week! I get that you're busy, but you could have at least—Sorry, yes, coffee, please—You could have at least responded to my text messages!"

"Hmm? Well, you sent so many I couldn't tell which ones were important or not," he replied nonchalantly.

You wanted to scream.

"Also in the coffee, I–"

"Sugar, cream, I don't care what you put inside. I just need a cup," you grumbled before continuing, "Anyway, if you replied to the first one at a reasonable time, I wouldn't have sent all those other ones!! Do you know how many people I have chasing after me because of you? Not to mention the amount of times I had to entertain Klee because you wouldn't answer your door. I mean I almost got my–"

He handed you your mug of coffee.

"Oh, thank you… –My eyebrows burnt off! Multiple times. Multiple times, Albedo!!"

You took a few long sips of your coffee, ignoring the way it scalded your tongue and throat on the way down. Any pain it could cause you paled in comparison to the weight of stress you were under.

"You know once you burn off your hair follicles, they'll never grow back! I could've been eyebrowless the rest of my life just because you decided to ignore me for a week. I don't know how I can keep putting up with this. I thought you would be easy to manage, but it's getting to the point I don't think I'll be able to make it to retiring age!!"

His lack of reaction had your eyes tearing once more.

"Hmm... And how are you feeling right now? Physically speaking?"

You really did scream this time.

"How do you think I'm feeling!? I'm exhausted. I'm sleep-deprived. My back hurts. My chest feels tight. My head is pounding. Oh, you know. Just typical symptoms of extreme stress," you finished with a smile.

"I see. Would you say it is better than how you felt when you first entered this room?"

You frowned.

"I, uh... Um... I mean I did see you finally, so I guess so?"

"Do you feel any symptoms of nausea, dizziness, or drowsiness?"

"Why would I feel any--"

You froze as the hairs on your neck shot up.

There he stood with glasses on his nose and clipboard in hand, a familiar scene you fearfully dubbed as "Mad Scientist Mode." What was he writing down? No, why was he writing things down!? Did he–

Your eyes shot to the warm mug you held in hand.

Ah.

You shakily placed it on a nearby counter and pushed it away gently.

"Symptoms, First?"

You cleared your throat.

"It wasn't sugar or cream you put in the coffee, was it?"

He nodded.

"No, I synthesized a compound from an enhanced matricaria chamomilla flower and a few other plants in various degrees."

You wanted to laugh.

"So drugged me with something that may kill me."

"Ah, there's no need to worry about that. I tested it on myself multiple times. However, as I hypothesized, I did not feel much of the effect due to my, ah… differing temperament."

"So it's not going to kill you, but it may kill me?"

He sighed.

"Don't be ridiculous. I am more than well acquainted with your body. I already know what you do not react well to.”

You felt your face heat.

“Ignoring how wrong that sounds, you can’t just–”

You cut yourself off abruptly when a wave of exhaustion hit. You staggered back a few steps before holding onto the counter for support.

“Ah, it’s finally kicked in.”

Had you not been so disoriented, you would have shaken the lapels of his lab coat in fury. But your body was not agreeing with you. It instead felt too heavy to carry as your eyelids began to follow suit. You almost didn’t realize it when you lost your balance until you collapsed into the arms of something warm. You tried to push away weakly.

“No… I can’t. I still need to…”

“Shh, just sleep.”

—

You could tell you both weren’t compatible from the day you first laid eyes on him. As a neighbor and family friend to Miss Alice, you met him the day she brought him home. You were sick with fever that day, as you normally were, and answered the door with a stuffy nose. Never did you expect to see a young teenager at her side. He was quiet as Miss Alice introduced you both, only speaking up a few minutes later saying Miss Alice had a prior engagement and needed to leave. Judging from the surprise on Miss Alice’s face, though, you knew such couldn’t be farther from the truth. Did he just not like you?

That belief was solidified after Miss Alice left on her journey. Before she did, she told you both to take care of each other. It was a job you took seriously. Albedo did not. Though you were sickly, how many times did you find yourself at his door with dinner in hand? How often did you visit to keep his company? But he rarely responded to your knocking and never heard your calls of his name. When you finally managed to get inside whether it’d be by Klee or walking up to his window, he’d meet your eyes with a troubled sigh.

He’d always try to get out of things. When you’d spend a whole day trying to cook him something hearty and healthy to eat (he was too skinny, after all), he’d only eat a small bowl before suggesting you should take the rest home. And when you nagged him about the dangers of isolation and lack of social contact, you could tell his mind was elsewhere halfway through.

Eventually, when he realized you wouldn’t be going anywhere, he started to bully you instead. When you planned grand outings with Klee, he’d come along and force the day to end halfway through. He didn’t let you stay at his place too late and would only text to make sure you were sleeping on time. You couldn’t even play outside on snowy days for too long before he’d herd you back inside.

That didn’t even count his strange obsession with feeding you weird things. His meals, though delicious, were chock full of strange and exotic ingredients. He’d put odd concoctions in your drinks. There were times you could have sworn he opened pill capsules to mix into your desserts. Whenever you'd complain, he'd explain the health benefits, but the words and explanations were so complex that he'd simply give up before telling you with a deadpan expression to, "just eat it." Eventually, you began accepting anything he made you without question because, well, you always felt a bit better after.

If you had to be honest, perhaps having him as a thing to focus your minimal energies on was a good thing. Your life started to pick up after meeting him. Much of your childhood was spent in and out of the hospital. It wasn’t rare to find you in bed weak with a fever. Miss Alice's request got you out of bed every morning with a goal for the day. And as the years went by, you became healthier and healthier. You found yourself able to do more and more things. You were happy.

Albedo still worried you, though. Despite growing older, he was just the solitary person as he always was. He’d spend days holed up in his lab, only leaving to meet with his research partner, Sucrose, or to spend time with Klee. It was unhealthy, wasn’t it? He was a handsome young man, after all. He would miss out on the best years of his life if he spent it by himself! So you took it upon yourself to force him out into the world.

You took him everywhere you could. In fact, you may have gone a bit overboard with it as well. Though you weren’t a loner like Albedo, you never were able to do much when you were younger. Your parents were simply too overprotective. But they trusted Albedo. And much to your surprise, Albedo went along with your naggings and invitations. There were times you even caught him smiling which would cause your heart to soar.

Though you knew Albedo initially thought of you as a nuisance, you knew you eventually grew on him. After all, it was because of you that he became a singer. If you had not encouraged him to pursue it after being scouted by someone in the industry, he never would have taken the role. And after much convincing, he even let you become his manager! Sure, he didn’t change his habit of holing himself up whenever he felt the need, but still. You had a place in his heart. And you were happy with that.

—

When you awoke the next day, the sun was peeking through the curtains in the early hours of the morning. If you had to be honest, you had no clue how you got up. The bed was soft and the covers were warm. The pillows cradled your head like a cloud. Yes, why be up when you could be sleeping peacefully instead? It wasn’t like you had anything to do.

…

…

…

Wait a minute…

—

Albedo sighed when your strangled scream echoed across the house. He estimated you would be asleep for at least another hour, but you seemed to love betraying his expectations. As your feet pounded towards him, he reached into the cupboards to pull out a glass. By the time you arrived in the kitchen, he had a cup of water held out to you.

“Albedo! Why would you–”

He pushed the cup into your hands.

“Water first. You’re most likely dehydrated from sleeping so long.”

You opened your mouth so as to cry more, but decided against it and downed the water instead. You hated that you proved his point by how quickly you drank it down. Placing the cup down, you wiped at your mouth.

“Albedo! Do you even realize how much time I wasted sleeping? Why would you do that to me? Now Ms. Yae is definitely gonna–”

“I already spoke to her.”

“... kill me– Wait, what?”

“I spoke to her a week ago regarding the date for the KA5EN rehearsal.”

Your jaw dropped.

“E-Excuse me? Then why did she keep…”

“When I asked her yesterday, she said that your desperate expression was ‘very cute.’”

You felt your eyes tear. So that meant this whole time you were panicking over nothing? You wanted to laugh. It seemed like it! Albedo apparently did your job for you while Ms. Yae reaped the benefits from the miscommunication by watching you squirm for her sick pleasure. Were you destined to get bullied for the rest of your life?

You jumped when you felt a hand pat your head gently. Looking up, you saw Albedo gazing at you with a calm expression.

“Don’t worry. I told her that I will handle any communications dealing with HNMIzaka Entertainment from now on. Just focus on other things.”

Your hands balled into fists while your eyes teared more.

“But that’s my job! You can’t just–”

His expression became firm.

“No.”

His hand then slid to your cheek. His thumb brushed gently under your eye.

“Even with the medicine you took last night, you’re still sleep-deprived. You haven’t been drinking enough water and you’re undernourished as well. I noticed I needed to intervene a few weeks ago, but I didn’t think you’d get this much worse over the course of the week I was gone. You’re not going to be working on anything big until you get better.”

You turned your face away and pouted.

“You're not my mom, you know. It’s my job to take care of you, not the other way around.”

He turned back to the counter and began to take various ingredients from the shelves.

“If you don’t want me to take care of you, take better care of yourself. The day you quit being my manager is the day I end my singing career.”

Your jaw dropped. How could he say such a thing so casually? And while frying up eggs no less!?

“Wh-Why in the world is that?”

He glanced over at you, his expression as calm as ever.

“Well, you’re irreplaceable.”

And as if he threw a bucket of ice cold water on you, you simply stood there frozen. You didn’t know what to think. You didn’t know how to react to that. But just as quickly as he froze you, his next words slapped you out of it.

“Would you like a cup of coffee?”

“Absolutely not.”

[prickleestull]

I need more details on the Laz Pits, because in my head all i got is tiny little baby Damian Doolittle dropping bones in and reanimating dinosaurs

[simpingforcys]

I had no idea where to put this so I'm leaving it here, but imagine your having a argument with kang candy and your MUCH taller then him and he's angrily pointing up and you and just saying shit but he stops mid rant to see your clearly not taking him seriously because if his hight, so this mf stops yelling, looks around, spots a table and climbs onto it with a little huff and brushes himself off and starts yelling again but don't take him any more seriously because he just looks like a angry child

He would get Sour Bill to use as a stepping stool to get at your level but at that point he just looks so silly you can't help but laugh and apologize to the poor sour guy all while laughing before just grabbing King Candy like he's a doll teddy bear size and smooch him<3

[eggyrocks]

thinking about maneater iwayn getting married. i know they aren’t the whole wedding types but for like legal reasons they decide they probably should and decide to just go to the courthouse or wtvr.

iwa decides to have oikawa go w as one of the witnesses and asks him to be his best man, not even thinking about it bc obviously he’s not gonna say no…

imagine iwaizumi’s shock when oikawa gives him an immediate refusal, not even having to consider it.

iwa’s brian literally goes ‘what’ and then goes blank, literal static.

oikawa then tells him he’s sorry, but he’s waiting on yn to ask him to be her man of honor, obviously.

timeskip to that afternoon in which he sees on social media that his greatest rival (akaashi) is filling the position.

immediately spams iwa saying he was “totally just joking iwa-chan, cmon’ only for iwa to inform him he’s already found a new best man, sorry. (he hasn’t, this is just his scaring him as payback)

iwa definitely waits until the very last second, literally the night before, to tell a still panicking oikawa that he’s fucking w him.

please this is cannon now

[dawnbreakersgaze]

Xavier did NOT just unironically woot at me 🤣🤣🤣

God he's such a grandpa. I love him. I love this stupid grandpa man with my whole heart.

[obsolescent]

My friend said that Albert Wesker drives a cyber truck and oh my god…

[littleshopofhorrors-confessions]

Orin would watch Rocky Horror and feel. Many Things.

Orin would be a Frank N Furter stan send ask

~~~

[oneangrykneegremlin]

[avoidghost]

I didn't know you had ao3 😭 do you have the link? Also, your human versions of Ratty are always so pretty ✨

(also I totally see him with sweaters he "accidentally" stole from his husbands)

It's under "avoidghost" also! And thank you so much! I like him soft...

[zenruu]

alistair baby please call me, i would treat you so right. i would take you to olive garden for unlimited soup salad and breadsticks and i won't even complain when you want to listen to nothing but hoobastank for the entire drive there and back.

[fandomsarefamily1966]

George: We all have a head, a body, a neck, and a sound hole, so technically we're all ukuleles. Ringo: … Why does that somehow make sense?

[badlydrawnjake]

have you and dirk ever watched mlp together? and if so, who's your favorite pony? i think you would like applejack a lot!

GT: Pfft... he can deny it all he wants but i know he likes that show unironically!!!

GT: Sadly, it's next to impossible to watch any TV with Dirk, due to both of our... unique living scenarios.

GT: a man can dream, though.