#(going from crushing on to thinking of him as a parental figure once lucifer snaps him up lol)

[journey-to-the-attic]

Okay, now I'm curious about how IK's dad would fare in the past Devildom. Specifically, IK's dad and baby IK.

oh god that poor man. he was already so incredibly stressed out by his first appearance in the devildom, now he finds out he's in the fucking past and no one here knows him and he just has to cope with that, all while trying to protect his tiny daughter from all the evil things around here??? he's in tears already

he spends his first two weeks in the past just looking like a kicked puppy at all times. he still does his job of managing the brothers with surprising efficiency, but he looks like a physical embodiment of the 🥺 emoji the entire time

little ik is having a Time of it. zhao doesn't exactly know how to communicate to a toddler who still can't count past fifty that they went back in time, much less that the familiar demons around her aren't, in fact, the uncles she likes so much even if they look identical

i imagine he just tries to keep ik with him at all times, but every now and then she manages to wander off and thoroughly confuses the demons with how friendly she is. how is this tiny child more confident than her father

[avi17]

MK X Pacific Rim AU Concept

You ever get an AU idea in your head and go absolutely feral for a bit putting it all on paper?  Me neither, until now!  This isn’t so much a fic as just a detailed wiki-style outline, but hopefully it will still be fun to read!  I had a ton of fun figuring out how to translate all these concepts and backstories into the PR world. If anyone feels like doing anything with these ideas they’re absolutely welcome, just please credit me and link back to this post if you do!  I don’t think I’ll ever be able to write this into some massive longfic, but I definitely hope to do some shorts in this ‘verse. I brainstormed this with a bunch of people, and got some fun ideas from @sxvethelastdance​, @bastardsunlight​, and @fallen-angel-lucifer- thank you guys so much for humoring all this!​

Pan Pacific Defense Corps Marshal Raiden was a legendary Mark 1 pilot dating back to when the program was first launched.  Based out of the Shatterdome in Tokyo, he and his brother Fujin, in their Jaeger Thunderbolt Gale, were the first line of defense from Kaiju attacks headed westward from the breach for five grueling years. However, they met their match in Motaro, the first Category 3 Kaiju to make landfall on Hokkaido, and when Fujin was torn from their Jaeger and killed, Raiden was forced to take down the creature solo- a feat replicated only twice since. The physical and emotional toll of that day led to his retirement from active combat, but he remained in the PPDC as a commander, as well as a mentor of other pilots.  When the Jaeger program was decommissioned, he was the last one to retain his faith in it, and took up leadership over the few remaining Jaegers at the Shatterdome in Hong Kong for one final stand against the Kaiju. Current Pilots:

Liu Kang and Kung Lao Jaeger: White Lotus Original base: Hong Kong

The home base heroes of the Hong Kong Shatterdome, pilots Liu Kang and Kung Lao are the top graduates and darlings of the Wu Shi Jaeger Academy.  Raised together in a martial arts sect before the first breach and drift compatible since their ranger training began, they are nearly inseparable- though Kung Lao has never quite forgotten how Liu Kang's scores just barely edged out his own in their individual skill assessments, and he strives constantly to prove himself his partner's equal (despite Liu Kang's insistence that such competition is unnecessary). Their Jaeger, White Lotus, is a well-rounded, powerful machine, featuring high-powered flamethrowers, as well as a system of fuel vents that allow it to set its fists alight and heat them to brutal temperatures in close-quarters battle. For ranged combat, it utilizes a circular blade mounted to its head, which can be thrown like a boomerang with enough force to slice through buildings. 

Kitana and Jade Jaeger: Edenia Glory Original Base: Lima

Interplanetary refugees, Kitana and Jade escaped to Earth after their homeworld was attacked and overrun by Kaiju invaders.  Their spacecraft crashed in the middle of the Amazon rainforest, and though they immediately searched for civilization in order to warn Earth’s people of what was to come, the first wave of attacks had already begun.  After making their way to Lima, they volunteered to put their combat skills and close bond to use as rangers in the South American Jaeger program. Together they have defended the coasts of Chile and Peru since the Mark-2 days, though between battles, they spend their time in communication with the PPDC and the U.N., sharing what information they can about the Kaiju and other alien life previously unknown on Earth. Their Jaeger, Edenia Glory incorporates technological elements from their original planet not used in any other Jaeger, and is lithe, fast, and deadly, with a style focused primarily on precision bladework rather than hand to hand brawling.  Its name is a tribute to their lost homeworld, and they use it to great effect to prevent Earth from suffering the same fate.

Sonya Blade and Jackson "Jax" Briggs (later Johnny Cage) Jaeger: Flawless Victory Original Base: Los Angeles

Both Lt. Sonya Blade and Maj. Jax Briggs had successful careers in the U.S military behind them when the first Kaiju came ashore and attacked San Francisco.  Though at the time, Sonya was in the field pursuing the criminal Kano, she returned to the states when her friend and superior officer, Jax, suggested that they might be good candidates for the newly-formed ranger program.  He proved to be right, and the two did time at the Shatterdomes in both Los Angeles and Anchorage, fighting off Kaiju from Canada to Mexico, and became well-admired figures within the military for their ascent.  Though far from unscathed, the ostentatiously-named Flawless Victory is the last American Jaeger left standing by the time the program is decommissioned and is a tank of a machine, sacrificing some speed for the greatest physical strength of any Jaeger still on the field. Like the other American Jaegers, for long range combat it favors plasma cannons and explosives- particularly a ring-shaped plasma blast with wider coverage than the usual single beam- but it is at its most effective when delivering a crushing beatdown up close and personal. Johnny Cage is the star of a popular series of action films dramatizing the battles of the Jaegers and Kaiju, and to many civilians at home, is as much the face of the Jaeger program as its real members.  He has a secret ambition to become an actual pilot and has an impressive record in simulations, but because of his celebrity status (and his personality), Marshal Raiden and the other Jaeger teams refuse to consider him as a true contender.  However, when a vicious fight with two Kaiju at once leaves both of Jax's arms shattered, taking him out of commission as a pilot for the foreseeable future, Sonya is forced to accept Johnny as her new co-pilot in order to keep Flawless Victory in the fray where it is needed. Despite her irritation with him, they turn out to be drift compatible, and become a formidable duo in their own right.

Hanzo Hasashi and Kuai Liang Jaeger: Phantom Vengeance Original Base: Nagasaki

From the Nagasaki Shatterdome, the bright yellow Mark-3 Jaeger Shirai Ryu defended the coast of the Yellow Sea across three countries.  Its building was overseen by its husband and wife pilots, Hanzo and Harumi Hasashi, and it was named for the legendary warrior clan from which Hanzo claimed descent.  It was in service for four years, though Hanzo and Harumi always spent as much time as possible between missions with their young son Satoshi, who lived with them in their quarters at the base so that his parents could still have a part in raising him in a world that would not guarantee a reunion for families who choose to separate. Across the sea based in Shanghai was an organization known as the Lin Kuei, a private military contractor funded by shadowy, unknown sources.  Though its bread and butter was anti-Kaiju weaponry, it also began to develop its own Jaegers- the only ones outside the PPDC, created from illicitly obtained blueprints, and hireable for the right price.  Its crown jewel was a small, stealthy machine called simply Sub-Zero, unique for its proficiency underwater and tendency to use coolant as a weapon rather than fire or explosives, and piloted by two brothers- Bi-Han and Kuai Liang. When the massive Kaiju Kintaro directly attacked the Nagasaki Shatterdome, Shirai Ryu was the only Jaeger left to defend it. Desperate, the Hasashis attempted to contact the Lin Kuei, as they were closer than the nearest other Shatterdome in Tokyo.  They received no response and were forced into battle alone, and though they prevailed, the price was too high- not only Harumi’s life when part of their cockpit was crushed, but Satoshi’s as well, buried in the wreckage of the base.  In his grief, Hanzo blamed the Lin Kuei- particularly Bi-Han, with whom he had never gotten along- for what he perceived as a failure to act due to greed and amorality. What Hanzo did not know that day was that they were experiencing the first double event in history, and Sub-Zero and the Lin Kuei were under attack by the Kaiju Sheeva at the same time.  The Kaiju hivemind had figured out Sub-Zero’s usual strategy of attacking from the water, and were ready with an acidic bite that tore a hole in the cockpit, which rapidly flooded.  After a similar failure to make contact with Shirai Ryu, Bi-Han was swept out into the sea and presumably drowned (though his body was never recovered), but Kuai Liang, despite a bleeding face and water up to his neck, managed to kill the Kaiju mere moments before Sub-Zero ceased to function. After his release from medical, a furious Kuai Liang set off immediately for the remains of the Nagasaki Shatterdome to confront Hanzo for his failure to respond to the attack, since Shanghai was within Nagasaki's area of coverage. Both blinded by rage, they nearly got into a fistfight in the middle of the base, but once they realized what had truly happened, their anger cooled.  They bonded over their grief, and the unfathomable experience of having to pilot a Jaeger alone after such loss- and in the process, discovered they were drift compatible, and that they both wished to continue the fight in retaliation for what the Kaiju had done to their families. Their new Jaeger, Phantom Vengeance, is a strange sight- constructed from salvaged pieces of both Sub-Zero and Shirai Ryu (along with some newer tech to fill the gaps), it looks as much like a walking ghost as its pilots. However, it should not be underestimated based on its appearance. Quick and light (for a Jaeger), it features a retractable grappling hook to drag Kaiju into the range of its blasts of powerful coolant, and a devastating grip to snap them like twigs once frozen. 

Other Players:

After the destruction of Sub-Zero and the defection of Kuai Liang, the Lin Kuei concluded that the problem with the Jaeger program was the human element of drift compatibility, which limited the number of possible pilots and held them back due to concern for their partners in battle.  Therefore, in secret, they began a series of horrific experiments, fusing subjects with their Jaegers to operate more like batteries than true pilots, and erasing their memories through drugging and electric shock in order to create blank minds that could operate together without the complications of emotion.  Assassins Cyrax and Sektor, along with Kuai Liang’s close friend Tomas Vrbada, were among the subjects of this initiative, forced to operate a three-armed machine called Triborg.

Shang Tsung is a scientist, shunned from the academic community and at times running afoul of the law for his unethical- if not outright twisted- biological experiments. He and Marshal Raiden have crossed paths in the past, and though no one knows the details, their enmity towards each other is clear. However, in his desperation after the decommissioning of the Jaeger program, Raiden had Shang Tsung brought from prison to the Hong Kong Shatterdome, and gave him access to whatever parts he needed to find a way to destroy the Kaiju- by any means necessary. Shang Tsung agreed partly because of the money offered, but mostly because the world's destruction would throw quite the wrench into his own personal goals. (And maybe because it was deeply satisfying- and perhaps useful- to have the Marshal in his debt.) Where his allegiance will lie at the end of the day, however, is anyone's guess. 

For such experiments, one needs a steady supply of Kaiju parts, and for contraband like that, Raiden had to look even lower- to the crime syndicate the Black Dragon, led by Kano and including his associates, Kabal and Erron Black.  Though once mercenaries dealing in everything from illicit arms trading to assassination, the Black Dragon followed the money and and put all their resources into the trafficking of Kaiju parts.  With demand so high, they have become immensely powerful, but their involvement with the PPDC in the name of greater profits ends up bringing Kano face to face with his old nemesis, Sonya Blade- with predictably violent results.

Nightwolf was the historian of the Matoka tribe, which had long ago predicted a great cataclysm that would bring about the end of life on earth.  Though he had been skeptical that such legends were real, when that cataclysm came to pass in the form of the Kaiju invasion, Nightwolf was not content to merely await a prophesied destruction.  He left home and applied for the ranger program, but although he trained toward being a pilot and had the necessary combat skills, he never found a partner with whom he was drift compatible.  Rather than dwell on this with resentment, he pivoted his focus into other ways he could help, and found his place as a technician and LOCCENT officer.  Transferred to Hong Kong after the decommissioning of the Jaeger program, he was the rangers’ primary point of communication with the base while in battle.

Though most of the world fears the Kaiju, there are also those who worship them, and such admiration has evolved over the years into a full-blown religion.  The shadowy high priest of this cult is Quan Chi, who claims that the Kaiju have been sent by the God of Death himself- to end the days of humans on Earth as we so richly deserve.  Recently, a strange, hollow-eyed man calling himself Noob Saibot has appeared like a shadow at Quan Chi’s side, serving as his personal bodyguard against all threats and a fellow ardent believer in the inevitability of humanity’s destruction. Mileena is a grotesque fusion of Kaiju DNA with that of Kitana, which was stolen against her will when she was injured and bled during the invasion of Edenia. She enters Earth as a general of the Kaiju, connected to their hivemind, along with the first Category 5 to ever come through the breach, Goro.  Together, they intend to ensure the will of their creator and the ruler of the Anteverse- Shao Kahn- is carried out.

[postmodernmulticoloredcloak]

Hi. I need ur help. Is Dean mad at Cas, at God for making Cas "responsible for a failed mission that ended with a sad brother/kind of kid to Dean, bc he questions reality and his love for Cas ... or rather both? I'm a little bit confused after having read so much meta all at once.

Hi! I think you are confused because... it’s everything at once! I think Dean is feeling many things right now, and not all of those things have a good outlet or way to be dealt with, so they are directed somewhere else and become messy.

Dean is, at any given moment of his life since he was a child, angry at himself. That’s the inevitable result of a father that made him feel inadequate, by dropping responsibilities on his little shoulders that were too big for him and inevitably he couldn’t live up to. He has made important steps to deal with those issues--that’s the point of the scene with him saying that it wasn’t fair that he had to be mother and father to Sam--but a lifetime of being made feel inadequate don’t disappear with a snap of your fingers. Especially because it wasn’t just his father dropping huge responsibility after huge responsibility on him (remember when he literally dropped the responsibility of possibly having to kill Sam, the kid he raised as his own child, and then died?) but it was a much bigger game. God dropped the responsibility of the entire world on him over and over. Apocalypse after apocalypse, Lucifer, Eve, Leviathan, Michael, soulless Jack, but also the regular monsters, a never-ending string of situations where the responsibility for the lives of many other people, strangers and loved ones both (in fact sometimes it’s a Sophie’s choice!).

It’s not surprising that he developed feelings of inadequacy and self-loathing so big you can see them from space. The poor guy feels that he’s not good enough for anything, especially not good enough to be loved, not good enough for someone to stay with him. He feels that everyone will inevitably abandon him because why would they stick around? He’s trash. Even worse, he’s poison, he ruins everything he touches, everyone he gets close to.

The intensity of these feelings vary depending on how hard the circumstances are on his mental state, sometimes it’s better sometimes it’s worse. I think some fans expect him to “get better” in a linear fashion, but mental health does not work as a straight line; there are ups and downs, and when sometimes renews your trauma, you just fall back in the mechanisms of your trauma. It’s unreasonable to say things like “he should have learnt by now”--that’s not how trauma works. You get better when you are not actively exposed to trauma. Renewed trauma means going back.

So we have identified the first thing Dean is angry at, himself. Of course, hating yourself is very vexing on your mental health, and it is in fact healthier to transfer the anger and disappointment from yourself to someone else, as it prevent you from being crushed under the weight of self-loathing and guilt.

Then there’s the figures in position of power that have dropped the various responsibilities on Dean’s shoulders. First, John and Mary. Mary is a particular case because of course Dean never actually blamed her for dying, and even when he learnt about her deal with Azazel he knew that she was just a pawn in a cosmic-level game, and of course it’s not like she decided to make the deal and die for fun. But when Mary returned and her behavior shattered Dean’s life-long image of her, feeding his feelings of inadequacy and self-loathing because it felt like he wasn’t even worth for his own mother to stay with him, that fused together with an irrational sense of abandonment that came with the loss and forever left a mark in his little four-year-old brain.

I think the scene where Dean confronted Mary at the end of the season was about this: a need to outsource the blame and self-hatred, and Mary was the figure that catalyzed so many emotions since his early childhood, love and loss and joy that was robbed away from him and such profound pain that came with her disappearance from his life, to the point that when she returned and shattered his image of her, he found himself with so many extreme emotions about her.

And now John. Alright, I’m digressing big time so I’ll keep John short, everyone and their grandmother have written essays on Dean’s relationship with John and it’s not particularly relevant here, save for the fact that John is dead and Dean has never really had the chance to confront him. Even when he temporarily came back thanks to the magic pearl, circumstances were... suspiciously too apt for Dean to approach the father figure in a positive way (I’m convinced that it was all a very precise machination by Chuck to make Dean well-disposed towards him, basically). Dean was in a high, and he was in a mental state where he did not need to make that emotional outsourcing on John. Mary and John met again, then trouble happened, that they had to say goodbye and it was highly emotional and obviously left no space for emotional outsourcing. Result, Dean has no way to really bounce all that negative stuff back on John. John was just a ghost from the past, really, and ghosts from the past don’t really serve any substantial purpose.

And now to the juicy part--Chuck. Dean started out his journey believing that God didn’t exist. His reasoning was a classic argument of atheism: a lot of terrible evil exists, and if God exists he either isn’t omnipotent (then what kind of God is he??) or doesn’t care, or he’s malevolent, and those options don’t go well with the idea of God Dean would have been exposed to as a person growing in a primarily Christian environment like the US.

Then he learns that God exists, but he doesn’t care. He’s left, and now everyone else--angels, humans, demons--is supposedly left dealing with a godless world. That doesn’t really come as a shock to Dean; for Cas it’s shocking, because he believed that God cared. For Dean, the jump is just from a non-existing God to an absent God, and that doesn’t change much for him. Furthermore, he’s not exactly foreign to the concept of shitty father figures who dump you on your own in a shitty world.

The shock comes now. For Cas, ironically, there’s no shock now, because he experienced that shock of being angry and disappointed towards God years ago. Now he makes the jump from a shitty disappointing God to... a shitty disappointing God, just in a different way.

Dean goes from a God that isn’t around, that leaves you alone dealing with the shittiness of the world... to a God that has been there all along, manipulating everything. Dean could deal with a God that is what Chuck pretended to be when he reappeared in season 11, when Chuck gave him the speech about leaving his creatures find their own way, parenting-versus-enabling; that was a painful perspective but it made sense, and Dean could accept it. But when Chuck revealed himself to be the mastermind behind everything, an actual capricious author who uses them as pawns for his entertainment... that’s a blow. A very, very big blow.

Chuck had played a very specific game on Dean. He presented himself as a father who did the right thing for his “baby”, albeit the difficult one. He explained that he realized that a hands-off parenting was healthier for his creatures, that being present in their lives wasn’t parenting but enabling... He sold Dean a picture where being an absent father does the child good. (And later had Dean briefly meet John again to feed him a romanticized impression of his figure and his relationship with his family... talk about yikes!)

Dean had fought tooth-and-nail to affirm his free will against the machinations of angels, he strongly believed in that against the idea of destiny. And Chuck presented himself as the good guy, who gave them their free will, while his bad, bad sister Amara wanted to take that away from them. And now the truth comes out. Chuck was never the hands-off parent that distanced himself for the good of his creatures. He was an author (authors lie...) who just played with them for his selfish reasons.

Dean’s own sense of what reality is has shattered. That is generally not good on a person’s mental health. So, yeah, Dean is not in a good mental place.

So Dean now is angry at God. Rightly so. But God, by definition, is not there to confront. (Dean thought he had confronted him once and God just fed him manipulative lies, so it’s not like he hopes to have a nice honest chat with him). Furthermore, Dean, Sam and Cas currently believe that Chuck has actually left the building this time. They think that Chuck’s “welcome to the end” meant that he just slapped an ending on this iteration of the story and fucked off to write another one, create another universe. They are convinced that they are actually living in a post-Chuck world, like the apocalyptic wasteland universe.

I also think that Dean hasn’t realized that Chuck’s ending isn’t really the ghostpocalypse, but also, and especially, ruining their relationships, and their mental health basically. The ghostpocalypse is just the smokescreen (c’mon, like the Winchesters would perish against a bunch of ghosts and demons from hell, been there done that) and the true ending he’s orchestrated out of pettiness and spite is breaking them, breaking their relationships. Sam loses Rowena; Jack’s death and all that jazz definitively drives Cas and Dean apart.

But let’s go back to Dean’s anger and shock and frustration. He could drive it all towards himself, and just get crushed under the weight of it all; he can’t drive it all at God, because he bailed; so he directs it towards the one person closest to him that he truly feels like an equal.

Dean has been directing anger towards Cas since Mary’s death, in my opinion, because Cas is the safest outlet for the horrifying vortex of guilt, self-loathing and abysmal self-worth that something as traumatic as losing Mary (again--remember what I said about renewed trauma not being something you learn to deal with but something that reopens wounds and possibly makes them worse?) and seeing Jack no longer himself, essentially losing him to an even more terrifying destiny than mere death, must have caused.

It’s like Dean trusts Cas so much that he subconsciously feels safe using him as an emotional outlet/scapegoat... and now that safety gets shattered again because Cas rightly puts some distance between them (as I believe it’s a healthy choice given the situation, although not dictated by the right motivations in Cas--I guess it’s something like using the wrong formula but getting the right result, because right now staying together is not healthy... like, the healthiest thing would be getting a fuckton of therapy, but that’s not in the cards I guess) but Dean’s traumatized psyche will register it as a confirmation of that lifetime-long conviction that he’s not worth to be loved, that he’s not worth for anyone to stay.

Cas’ biggest fear is that Dean won’t ask him to stay with him, Dean’s biggest fear is that Cas will leave him--ta-da, their worst fears just became true! Of course, Dean doesn’t insist Cas stays not because he doesn’t care but basically because he cares too much, and Cas leaves because he thinks Dean doesn’t care...

But let’s get back on track. Is Dean angry at Cas? Yes. Is Dean really angry at Cas? Eh. What is this anger really? It’s a defense mechanism. It’s pretty much the alternative to just shatter. It’s a survival mechanism, shattering would be really bad for his survival perspectives. So he uses a trusted, close figure as a scapegoat for what is a huge mess of emotions. (Not Sam, he goes into parental mode with Sam, it’s known, it’s safe, it works.)

Rowena’s death just adds more meat to the fire, because she meant something to Dean himself and also because Sam is truly heartbroken about it. I don’t think that Dean doesn’t understand the circumstances of Cas’ choices, but rationality here has very little grip. It’s been just a few days since Mary’s death, and not really much longer since Michael escaped and Jack sacrificed his soul, and let’s not forget that Dean has basically been in a state of severe ongoing trauma ever since Michael possessed him, tricked him into believing he was free (Chuck mirror alert!) and violated his mind repeatedly, completely manipulated his perceptions, and then pretty much destroyed his family.

Dean’s mind has been tortured by Michael and immediately next, with zero time to breathe, tortured again by Chuck’s manipulations and revelation that shattered Dean’s sense of reality--a sense of reality that had already been shaken because of Michael’s tricks, and now he just finds out that the reality he anchored himself to... is also a manipulation. There’s no reality he can anchor himself to, or at least that is how he feels right now. His psyche has suffered some heavy blows, and no speech from Cas about them being “real” can currently heal the damage. For Dean, this isn’t a matter of what Chuck has done or not; it’s just an aggravation of a state of attack his mind was already in.

This post has gotten a bit long XD I hope it could help you get a better idea of Dean’s mental state (granted that this is merely the way I see what the show is doing, no one is forced to agree with me!) and feel free to ask for any further clarification or argument!

[hopewithoutcravings]

Chapter Eight

She finally succumbs to sleep around 3 in the morning. Even closed her eyes are rimmed red and puffy. I hold her close to me not that it would matter, she was clinging to me like her life depended on it. The phone ringing breaks me from my thoughts.

“This better be good Pax.”

“I wouldn’t call you if it wasn’t. I’ve been following Festus all day like you asked. There hasn’t been anything suspicious until about an hour ago. He called Jericho and they plan to make contact. I figured you would want to come with me to listen in.” He rushes out.

“I’ll be there in 5.”

I hang up and pry myself out of Natalie’s grip, quickly getting dressed. I slip through the shadows following the directions Pax sent me to me.

“Psst, over here Master.”

I creep up next to Pax and look at him expectantly.

“Did they make contact?”

At that moment Festus comes out of a warehouse looking around. We duck down hoping he didn’t notice us.

“Sorry I’m late.” Jericho pants trying to catch his breath.

I fucking knew they were up to something.

“It’s fine. Did you run here?” Felix asks almost incredulously.

“Uh...yes sorry.”

“Were you with the girl?” He asks, his voice rising with excitement.

“About that...there seems to be complications.

Without warning Festus backhands Jericho across the face.

“We had a deal.” He snarls.

Jericho cups his cheek and gives Felix a disdainful look.

“I’m trying to uphold my end. But something has changed.”

“Changed with who? The girl? Just buy her flowers or some shit. Human girls love that or so Anthea tells me.”

“Satan is the one who’s changing. I think he loves her.” Jericho mumbles.

Felix looks at him for a beat before he roars with laughter. I bristle in anger and force myself to breathe deeply to remain calm.

“He can’t love anyone. He’s never even loved his own family. He’s never loved me......or any of his other followers. How can he love her? She’s a useless human.”

There’s something in his tone. Something I’ve heard in my own voice. Is that jealousy?

“I’m sorry, I didn’t anticipate this happening. I’ve been stepping my game up with her, but I feel as if I’m failing.”

“Well try harder, your life is on the line.” Felix snarls.

Jericho gives a jerky nod and Festus sighs.

“I would hate to take matters into my own hands. Once the girl is out of the picture master will finally be free to cause chaos with his followers again.”

I grit my teeth as I watch them both go their separate ways. Pax lets out a long whistle once Felix disappears from our sight.

“That was something.”

“I’m going to have to take care of this. I’ll kill Festus if I have to and the boy as well.” I murmur.

“You really care about this girl don’t you?”

I fix Pax with a steely gaze. I won’t acknowledge that with an answer. He nods in affirmation but says nothing.

“I’ll keep my eyes on them like I said. If anything comes up you’ll be the first to know. I’ll talk to you soon.” He slips away into the night.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Jericho shows up bright and early in the morning.

“Natalie my love.”

My eyes narrow and the girl gives him a blank stare.

“I know it’s out of the blue but I want to take you to breakfast. I know I haven’t been the best boyfriend but I’m trying to change for you!” He bubbles.

“How delightful.” I hiss.

“Stan be nice.” She murmurs.

I go to shoot her a death glare but she gives me that all knowing look. When she sticks her tongue out at me I lose my resolve. I chuckle and shrug; letting her run the show.

“Can Stan come to breakfast with us? His parents have been going through some things and he’s had to stay here.” She lies smoothly.

Jericho stares at me; there’s something behind that stare.

“Yea sure, he can come.”

“Cool wait here! We’re going to go get dressed.”

She lets him in and drags me to the room, totally implying that we are getting dressed together. The minute she closes the door I’m on her. I crush my lips to hers hungrily.

“Lucifer.”

Her protests sound half hearted. I pull back just a little to gaze into her eyes.

“I’m sorry; it was kinda hot watching you manipulate him, usually you’re so meek.” I laugh.

“Thank you Lucifer.” She deadpans.

“He knows about us by the way.” I say slowly.

“He what?” She whisper yells.

She whirls around, eyes wide. I shrug nonchalant as always.

“In all honesty, I don’t care what he does or doesn’t know.”

Felix has no idea I’m two steps ahead of him and his little spy.

“What the fuck Lucifer?” She’s angry.

“It’s fine, please trust me.”

She sighs and we finish getting dressed. Let’s just get this stupid date over with.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

I’m zoning out all throughout breakfast. Honest to father this shit is fucking boring. Jericho is gushing about whatever the fuck and has his hands all over the girl. She’s letting him, of course she has to play a part, but my jealous brain is telling me she likes it. I’m tired of these human feelings. I look up just in time to watch him kiss all over her neck. I growl low, my jaw clenching and ball my hand into a fist. In a movement to fast to be human; I flick the water cup so it spills all over him.

“Oh no Jericho!” Natalie gasps.

I scoff, what a fucking drama queen.

“Damn you should get that cleaned up.” I sneer.

He shoots me a look that I think is supposed to be intimidating. I flash him a sinister smile, making sure to flash my sharp teeth. I’ll rip out his jugular in front of everyone.

“Stan’s right! You need to go dry off with the hand dryers! We’ll be right here when you get back!”

“How did I get so lucky with a girl like you Natalie? You treat me so well.”

He turns to look at me. “Maybe one day you’ll get lucky too Stan.” His voice is flat.

I snarl, almost too loudly, and Natalie kicks me under the table.

“Sometimes I think I’m the lucky one.” She blows him a kiss.

I gag loudly. I want them to fucking hear my disdain.

Jericho shuffles out of the booth and rushes to the bathroom.

“Lucifer quit it.” She hisses.

“Me? You two are basically fucking at the table!”

She reaches over the table and slaps me across the face. I snarl at her, my eyes flashing angrily.

“What the fuck girl?”

“The only person I ever fucked and will ever fuck is you. You can be so dense sometimes. This was your plan anyway.” She huffs.

I don’t even listen to her anymore. A thrill shoots down my spine hearing her use such explicit language. The thought of such dirty, harsh words coming out of those pink, plump lips makes me fucking twitch.

“Wh....what did you just say?” My voice barely louder than a whisper.

She gives me a peculiar look before her eyes light up in understanding.

“Do you want me to fuck you Lucifer?” She breathes.

I groan and lean back in the booth.

“Yes, please.” I beg.

I’m such a fucking bitch. She wets her lips before sinking her teeth into her plump bottom lip and suck it back into her mouth. My brows furrow, she’s teasing me and fuck if it’s not working.

“You’ve been a bad angel Lucifer. What should your punishment be?”

I suck in a sharp breath, my body wound tight in anticipation. I’ll take anything she gives me at this point; I just want relief.

“Got my shirt dry!”

Fuck, he’s back and there goes my mood. Our moment is severed by Jericho’s reappearance. Natalie plasters a smile on her face as she looks at him but I can’t be bothered to pretend.

I watch Jericho for the rest of this date. When we get ready to go he pulls me aside. My eyes narrow in disgust at his touch, filthy human scum.

“Stan the man! I need to be honest with you.” He whispers.

I pry his hand off me forcibly. “First off, don’t ever fucking touch me again. Second what is it you want?” I snap.

“Look I appreciate you being Natalie’s best friend and all, but I would love to spend some alone time with her. She is my girlfriend you know.” He says the last sentence slowly, waggling his eyebrows.

I give him a blank stare, trying to be calm as possible when I go to answer him.

“That’s something you should ask her isn’t it?” It comes out through gritted teeth.

I’m not the girl’s fucking keeper.

“I just wanted to make sure were cool Stan!” He pats my shoulder.

A hiss escapes me as my hands twitch. Relax Lucifer. You can’t kill him. Yet. He says nothing else and rushes back to Natalie’s side. He whispers some shit in her ear and I see her look back at me before looking back at him. He mumbles something else and then they’re both gone. The girl being dragged away from me.

“Fuck.”

I have a phone call to make.

[katymacsupernatural]

An Arranged Marriage Chapter 18

Dean Winchester x Reader

1600 Words

Story Summary: An AU of sorts. Where hunter’s have communities, and arrange marriages for their young. Y/N is from the Northwest region, arranged to marry Dean, from the midwest region.

Catch Up Here: Masterpost

“Dean?” Sam asked me, as if it was the tenth time he had repeated my name. Snapping out of my trance, I stared up at my brother, his worried face extremely close to mine.

“Dude, back up a little.” I muttered, rubbing a hand along the stubble on my chin. “What’s up?”

“Well, you blanked after we heard the news, and Sam and I are worried.” Cas answered for Sam.

“I’m just trying to figure out what to do.” I sighed. “Here, Lucifer is planning on destroying the world. There, Lucifer has my new wife in his grasp, ready to destroy her and her previous life. I don’t know what to do.”

Sam and Cas glanced between them, before Sam turned to me. “Go. Cas and I will call in someone to help us. As soon as we get this stopped, we’ll come help you.”

“I don’t care what Lucifer does to that community.” I spat, surprising Sam. “They brainwash people, force people together that don’t even know each other! They throw people out into the real world, expecting them to survive. All I want to do is find Y/N, and get her back safely. Than Lucifer can have his fun. It will keep him occupied while you find a way to stop the virus.”

“Dean!” Sam exclaimed, surprised at my attitude. “We both agree that the community might not be the greatest way to train hunters, or live. But that doesn’t mean that they should all die! There are innocents there!”

I agreed with Sam, truly I did. But all I could think about was getting Y/N back safely. “Fine, I agree. I just have no idea how to stop Lucifer.”

Cas stepped forward, placing a hand on my shoulder. “Maybe this will work to everyone’s advantage. You will head to Y/N’s community, and try to rescue her while letting it slip that we’re here. Stopping the virus before it can spread. By this time our help should be here, and we can cage him again.”

It was the best plan we could come up with, I knew that. But I didn’t have to like it. I hated leaving Sam and Cas here, to deal with this big problem while I ran off to rescue the girl. But I couldn’t leave Y/N there. She had wormed her way into my heart, and I needed her to be safe.”

“You call if anything changes?” I asked, pulling the Impala’s keys out of my pocket. I had a four hour drive ahead of me, and that’s if I didn’t stop for breaks.

“Of course. And Dean, be careful.” Sam said as I climbed into the Impala. Y/N’s e/c eyes swam into my view, and I couldn’t wait to have her by my side once again.

Your POV

You heard Myra gasping behind you, no doubt hearing Lucifer’s words. Your face had gone pale, your mouth dry as you stared at the man across from you. No, not man. You couldn’t forget that Lucifer was a powerful being, one of the most powerful on the planet. And hearing those words coming from his mouth had your knees quivering.

“No. Please.” You managed to plead. “These people have done nothing to you. Let’s just you and I head somewhere, until you meet up with Dean again.”

“You’re a perfect match for that Winchester. Did you know that?” He asked, his mood shifting as his attention turned back to his milkshake. “Both of you self-sacrificing, ready to give yourself up as long as it saves humanity. Even Sam is that way. It amazes me that the two of you found each other through an arranged marriage.”

“I’ll do anything. These people are innocent.” You continued on, shrinking back when his eyes flashed red once again.

“They are not innocent!” He screamed, the windows cracking with the force of his words. “These people have hunted, and killed! Some of those monsters were innocent as well, but that didn’t stop them!”

You could hear Myra crying in the back, as the lights flickered. “True, there are those here that only think in black and white. But what about the women who haven’t hunted? The young, who haven’t even held a gun yet? Do they deserve to be grouped with the rest?”

“If I don’t kill them now, then they will only grow up as hunters, same as their parents. Better they all die now, by my hand.” He growled low. “And now, I think our time is almost at an end. Say goodbye to your friend, and let’s go see that Father of yours. A father who doesn’t seem to care for his daughter at all.”

Lucifer’s words stung deep. You had always tried to make your Father proud, but you never could. You weren’t the son he had hoped for. The son that would one day take over the community. You had disappointed him from the very beginning, and he had never forgiven you for that fact.

Closing your eyes against the tears welling up, you weren’t surprised when Lucifer grabbed you by the arm, pulling you out of the booth as if you weighed nothing. Dragging you beside him, he stopped at the door, staring at the people hiding in the tables. “I won’t kill you yet.” He promised them, before leaving the diner behind.

Up ahead you could see a line of men blocking the road, your Father in the lead. Each man had a gun in his hand, and Lucifer chuckled darkly. “Stupid hunters. Didn’t learn from the last time.”

You could see a Devil’s trap up ahead, but with a twist of his hand it cracked, and Lucifer just walked through. Coming to a stop in front of the line, Lucifer pushed you to the side, waving his hand so you were frozen there, unable to move. “I see that you haven’t grown any smarter.” He spoke loudly, so all the men could hear him.

Stomping was heard from behind Lucifer, and you turned to see another group of hunters’ rounding the corner, lighting a line of holy oil. Lucifer just smiled, turning back in time to see your Father kneel down, lighting another line of holy oil, one that wrapped completely around him. “No completely stupid then. Too bad it doesn’t work on me.”

With a snap of his fingers, the flames disappeared, and with frantic movements, men started firing at Lucifer. Bullets slammed against him, tearing his clothes, but he took it with ease. “This is annoying.” He finally muttered, and with a snap of his fingers half of the men went flying through the air, landing on the other ones.

You could only watch in horror as men after men died, horribly in front of your eyes. Men that you had known since you were in diapers. Boys that you had crushed on in school. Necks snapped, bullets ripping through their chest as Lucifer manipulated each and every one.

In an instant the roads ran red with blood, bodies laying everywhere. It had been a hopeless battle from the start, but you had hoped many would have run, trying to save themselves and their families.

“This has been fun!” Lucifer exclaimed, before noticing a movement off to the side. Using nothing more than his finger, he brought your father in front of him.

Your Father had escaped relatively unharmed so far, but you knew it wouldn’t be for much longer. With tears in your eyes, you pleaded with Lucifer to spare him. “I have the perfect way to end this!” Lucifer told you, his eyes lighting up with glee. Suddenly, your body began moving on its own, stiffly, stepping over dead bodies. Reaching down, you picked up a knife, discarded next to your old schoolmate Scott.

Tears poured freely down your cheek, your heart shattering as you realized what Lucifer had planned for you. “Y/N, stop!” Your Father ordered you, but you had no control over your motions. “Y/N!”

“I’m sorry Father.” You told him, only a step or two away from him now.

“Y/N, what are you doing?” Your Mother screamed, standing on the sidewalk, as women and children raced past her, trying to get to safety.

“I can’t stop it!” You screamed.

“Y/N, you can fight this! I didn’t raise you to follow Lucifer’s command.” Your Father spoke, his eyes narrowing in on you.

“Oh, but she has no choice. I’m controlling every movement.” Lucifer told your Father as your hand moved on its own, bringing the knife straight into your Father’s chest.

Your Mom screamed behind you, falling to her knees. You let go of the handle as if the knife burnt you, staring in horror at what you had done. Your Father fell to the ground, dead instantly. Already bored with your Father’s death, Lucifer turned his attention to the buildings beside him, lighting them on fire.

Taking that moment as an opportunity, you ran. Past your Mother, who had run over to your Dad. She would have never gone with you anyways. Down the streets, staying off to the side, praying that Lucifer wouldn’t’ find you.

You ran, not to the front entrance. But to the hidden entrance your Father had once told you about. Off to the side, hidden behind trees, you found the small opening, sliding through the door easily. You could hear Lucifer shouting in the distance, no doubt enraged that you were gone.

Running around the corning, you saw people running frantically away, cars peeling out on the cracked highway. But it was one car that shown light a beacon, and you ran as fast as you could to it, your sobs making it hard to catch your breath.  

If you’re enjoying this, I could use a coffee! :)

Dean/Jensen Tags: @acreativelydifferentlove @a-girl-who-loves-disney @akshi8278 @anokhi07 @aubreystilinski @bebravekeeponfighting @colette2537 @deanwinchesters-impala67 @ikeneasul11 @its-not-a-tulpa @lenaabs @love-charmer-sketch @ruprecht0420 @sizzlingbearpolice @sleep-silent-angel @sortaathief @superseejay721517 @thesaneone @queen--glitch

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[deamonangelus]

Kiss Me

Summary:  You met Sam through your shared lifestyles, specifically hunting.  There was never any other option for either of you, in the end the two of you fully expected to die bloody, or at least alone.  Neither of you expected to find each other, and one look at your eyes had Sam falling like he’d never fallen before.

Hey Hey make a story with sam but you have to use the lyrics to an ed sheeran song. 

Warnings:  Nothing outside the average Supernatural episode.  It’s pretty long though.  Mentions of alcohol, some angst.  No spoilers for new episodes, but if you haven’t gotten to the post-Leviathan era there are spoilers.  Songfic for Ed Sheeran’s ‘Kiss Me.’

Pairing: Reader x Sam (as per the request)

A/N: I HAVE RETURNED!!  I’m so sorry this took so long Anon!!  I’m so, so, so sorry!!

Settle down with me

Cover me up

Cuddle me up.

Lie down with me

And hold me in your arms.

 You were both hunters, you knew that when you met.  You were stopping by Bobby’s place, checking up on the old grouch that rescued you from the demons tracking you when you were only 10, and the old man had convinced you to stay for Thanksgiving.  You couldn’t say ‘no,’ he had been the only family you had since your parents were killed, a side effect of coming from an extensive line of untrained and overpowered psychics.  He was sure to teach you, give you the space and everything else you needed to get a grasp on your abilities, and had raised you like you were his own.

You loved that old bastard like he was your own father, even called him dad instead of Bobby.

Of course, being a few years younger than the youngest Winchester, Bobby had saved you a few years after John cut off all ties to his fellow Hunter.  You had never met the Winchester boys, but you saw the pictures and knew Bobby still loved them like they were his own sons, even if he couldn’t see them.

With your busy life, and their own chaotic lives, it was a few years until you actually met Sam and Dean.  You were in the kitchen, you loved to cook, making a big Thanksgiving dinner for the family of four.  You were worried, Bobby loved these boys like they were his own and you wanted them to at least like you.  Little did you know the scent of the apple pie in the oven would be enough for Dean to immediately welcome you as his baby sister.

As for Sam…well…

The second you looked up at him he caught sight of your eyes, hell your eyes were beautiful.

The second he saw your eyes, he started falling for you.

And your heart’s against my chest, your lips pressed to my neck

I’m falling for your eyes, but they don’t know me yet

And with a feeling I’ll forget, I’m in love now.

 It was an…unexpected turn of events, to be honest.  After the final seal was broken and the Apocalypse started, Sam didn’t know where else to go.  He knew Bobby would welcome him into his home, but he also knew Dean was going to be there.  Calling you and asking where you were being the logical response…no…it was his instinctual response.  He had come clean to you about everything over that one phone call; the demon blood, Ruby, starting the Apocalypse by killing Lilith, everything.  He was so scared you’d reject him. 

You just gave him the exact address to meet you at, and told him the two of you would take some time off until he felt up to hunting again-even if he never wanted to hunt again.

You hadn’t even thought about it.  You knew what it was like to be the freak in the Hunter community.  Perhaps not nearly as much as he did, but you were still an overcharged psychic and you were still treated like a freak.  Sam needed a safe place, and even without the crush you harbored for him, you were family.  More than that, he was one of the closest friends you ever had, you loved Jo dearly, but there was a difference between the freak with the knife collection and the freak that could speak to the dead and move objects with her mind.

He found home with you.  Even as he rejoined Dean and the family was back together again, you were right there with him.  Every second he looked in your eyes he fell farther in love with you, and he couldn’t look away from your eyes.  It was painfully obvious he was utterly smitten with you.  Every second you helped the Winchester brothers fight off the end of the world, he fell deeper and deeper for you.

 Kiss me like you wanna be loved

You wanna be loved

You wanna be loved

This feels like falling in love

Falling in love

We’re falling in love.

 Looking into your eyes, he felt ashamed.  He was deeply in love with you, irrevocably in love with you, and he couldn’t bare the thought of what he was about to do.  You knew everything, you were his support system, but he still couldn’t let you see him like this.  Knowing you would never think any less of him wouldn’t have allowed him to let you seem him drinking demon blood by the gallons, only to try to overpower Lucifer himself.  He just couldn’t let you see him like this.  If everything went wrong, he wanted you to remember him as anything but what he was.

He wanted you to remember him as the guy that cuddled with you as the two of you watched crap movies or binged Netflix or Hulu.  He wanted you to remember that, admittedly unwelcome, trip to Heaven the three of you shared as it was revealed meeting you was one of the best memories he had.  He wanted you to remember him as the one you’d trade favorite books with, binge reading as Dean drove the Impala and talking about the books you just read. He wanted you to remember him from that that first, and possibly last, kiss the two of you shared only seconds before he asked Bobby to make sure you didn’t see him like that.

You barely held back the sobs by holding your breath as long as you could, but that didn’t stop the tears or the way you shook.

 Settle down with me

And I’ll be your safety

You’ll be my lady.

I was made to keep your body warm

But I’m cold as the wind blows, so hold me in your arms.

 Sam had attempted to get you to promise to live a ‘civilian life.’  The two of you argued, you had gotten to the point you were screaming because you couldn’t even consider life without Sam anymore, but you came to an agreement as he held you close.  No matter what happened, you would find a place for yourself, not far from Sioux Falls, and stick to making a living as a Psychic and an expert for Hunters.  You did as you promised, but you still tried to reach out to Sam.  You failed to find a way to free him, but you could at least offer a form of comfort during his suffering.  It took a lot of effort, and a lot of practice, but you managed to reach him, even though his soul was in the deepest pits of Hell, during deep meditations.

You were utterly shocked to see him at your doorstep only 48 hours after speaking with him, last you knew he was still in Hell.  During your, then weekly, deep meditation you reached him yet again and were more confused by the situation.  Sam, even without his soul, felt an inexplicable attraction to you, and a physical need to keep you alive and close when he arrived at your doorstep. 

“Sam…” you whispered as you looked up at him, your eyes glistening with tears.  He didn’t answer verbally, instead pulling you into a heated kiss, picking you up with ease and kicking the door to your home shut as you wrapped your legs around his waist.  There was a physical satisfaction from carrying you to your bed and pinning you down against it he couldn’t explain, but he didn’t care.  The sex was, frankly, euphoric, for the both of you.

 Oh no

My heart’s against your chest, your lips pressed to my neck

I’m falling for your eyes, but they don’t know me yet

And this feeling I’ll forget, I’m in love now.

 It wasn’t until Cas admitted to leaving Sam’s soul in the Cage that you had your answer, and as Sam lie comatose in Bobby’s bunker you could barely leave his side.  As he wandered the land of the living, without a soul, you barely had enough power to reach his mind and keep him from doing things he would regret.

You should have known he was missing his soul.  You should have known.  You were kicking yourself, you couldn’t believe you didn’t figure it out earlier. You spent hours, sitting by him and wiping the sweat from his brow.  By the time he woke up you had been up for days, despite Dean and Bobby’s attempts to get you to sleep.  They had even slipped you alcohol to try to get you to sleep, Bobby even tried mixing sleeping pills with food, and it never succeeded. Cas offered what condolences he could, but nobody would feel better until Sam woke up.

You were at your wit’s end, you had run out of tears and couldn’t live with yourself if Sam…

The signs were right in front of you, and you still couldn’t figure it out.  Hindsight is 20-20, but you should have known better-

“[Y/N]?” Sam’s voice was groggy as he woke up for the first time in days, registering it was you before he was conscious enough to register the dark circles under your tired eyes.  Your attention snapped directly to him, and once again he was lost in your eyes.  He didn’t know why his head was pounding, or why he felt what he could only describe as a mental itch, but as he looked up at you he couldn’t say he cared. You kept telling him it was nothing, something he’d get used to living with.

Something he should just leave alone.

He wished he had listened, as visions of Lucifer haunted him and taunted him with the idea that you were just a fever dream.  Being safe with you and Dean was just a pretend world, and any minute he could be ripped from the safety of your arms and your lips against his and land right back in the Cage.  There were times pressing on the cut in his palm didn’t help, and at those times he would desperately seek you out and pull you as close as he could, pressing a desperate kiss against your lips.

 Kiss me like you wanna be loved

You wanna be loved

You wanna be loved

This feels like falling in love

Falling in love

We’re falling in love.

 Yeah I’ve been feeling everything

From hate to love

From love to lust

From lust to truth

I guess that’s how I know you

So I hold you close to help you give it up.

 Things had gone unsaid, but understood.  You couldn’t say the two of you ever actually proclaimed your feelings for each other, not seriously anyway.  You vaguely remembered telling Sam you loved him when he got you the Chinese you were craving after about six or seven too many tequila shots with Charlie.  It wasn’t until Dean and Cas disappeared after killing Dick, ending the Leviathan threat, that things were finally put into words.  You would never be able to completely retire, you were a psychic, but Sam had a chance.  You were willing to split up, let him live a peaceful life, but he couldn’t let you go.

“Please!” he begged, eyes searching yours as he held your hands in his own, “I’ve lost everyone else…I can’t lose you too.  I love you.”

“It’s okay, it’s okay,” you gently hushed as you pulled him down into a hug, standing on your toes as he was an entire foot taller than you, “I love you too, sasquatch.”

With a small, grateful, smile and a chuckle at your nickname for him, gently bumped his forehead against yours.  You couldn’t help but laugh, calling him a giant nerd and pulling him in for a gentle, loving kiss.  You weren’t going anywhere, you were going to stay right by his side as long as he wanted, for as long as he needed you.

 So kiss me like you wanna be loved

You wanna be loved

You wanna be loved

This feels like falling in love

Falling in love

We’re falling in love.

 Kiss me like you wanna be loved

You wanna be loved

You wanna be loved

This feels like falling in love

Falling in love

We’re falling in love.