#(forgot the very important detail that she does dance)

[kaeyapilled]

would you rather fistfight tartaglia behind the church of favonius or lose 30 rock paper scissors rounds to ayato in a row and he’s making this smug face at you the entire time like he predicted every move you were going to make

gave this like a full day of thought. maybe two days i dont know i have poor memory. if we are analyzing this hypothetical scenario seriously i will have to take ayato rock paper scissors. i could not hold my own in a fist fight against like. anyone. much less childe tartaglia. the psychological warfare that the ayato option implies would be extremely tough to brave my way through but at least my bones will be intact by the end of it

[xgraavyx]

Thinking about how important The Dancing Men was. This was one of the first times Holmes fails his client. It reminds me a lot of A Scandal In Bohemia in the way that Holmes fails his client in each. In A Scandal, Holmes' own bias against women is what causes him to lose. He learns from his loss and overall no harm is done. The King is in no real danger, as Adler even says herself that she has no intention of using the photos as blackmail. Despite Holmes being bested, nobody is harmed. His failure is not detrimental in any way.

In The Dancing Men, Holmes is shown to be very excited about desiphering the messages. He spends two hours just working on the codes. Everything is completly in his control until he gets the final telegram with the final message in it. It literally reads as "Elsie prepare to meet thy God." Holmes desiphers the telegram and "suddenly sprange to his feet with an exclamation of suprise and dismay." He realizes the dangers and is unable to do anything about it as the last train had already departed. He was not fast enough and is forced to stand by and wait. This was mostly out of Holmes' control, as he tried to save Elsie but was unable to.

The fact that she shot herself is also worth noting. Knowing of the danger and being unable to save her from making an attempt on her own life leaves Holmes shattered. Watson writes about his sulking in fair detail. It is so clear that Holmes is absolutely distraught about the turn of events but is unable to properly mope because the case still needs to be solved. He continues solving the case despite his client's horrible medical state.

"This sudden realization of his worst fears left him in a blank melancholy." -Watson

The contrast beween both of these fails are very interesting. The way control of the situation gets ripped from under his feet so quickly is wonderful. He has no time to grieve in his mistake because the case is still going on around him. He is forced to get back to helping his client. In a way, his dedication to solving this case for his client even when she has given up is admirable. Holmes gave her his word that he would solve the case and he does not faulter in that goal even when Elsie gives up.

Edit: Guys i forgot Elsie wasnt the client oops😭

[vickysaurus-art]

Love hearing the thought that went into your Shifty art! How did you pick the poses of some of the princesses?

Okay I’m gonna skip the hair princesses since I already kind of covered them here. And here’s a reminder of the art:

-For the ones closest to Shifty, I stuck pretty close to the actual minis�� poses. So the one that seems to be loyally clinging to her the hardest got to be Damsel since she seemed a good fit.

-The Greys take their poses from a pair of minis who seem to be really close to each other. At least, the lower one is constantly clinging to the upper one’s butt and using it as a pillow, even in ‘attack’ animations. I find them pretty funny and cute, so I put the Greys in that spot, probably because I’ve seen some excellent art shipping them. Also unlike most princesses, their faces being turned away works well with their personalities.

-Cold Princess’s spot was actually Thorn’s at first, before I found a better pose for her. It came about because that mini is one of the few whose face you can see, looking as much at you as at Shifty. I thought this gave her a cautious/conflicted vibe that fit Thorn. Later on I realised it fit Cold just as well. Replacing Thorn with Cold was a fun exercise in finding all the small differences between them, of which there are more than you’d think.

-We all know Witch is a nefarious backstabbing gremlin, so her doing something to get ahead at another princess’s expense felt right, and Prisoner has that chain as a convenient handhold. On a side note, I feel my Witch ended up looking so much like Fleki from Dungeon Meshi.

-Beast is big, so she had to go in this spot for the composition’s sake to counterbalance Adversary. For her pose I asked the discord for ideas, and her biggest fan suggested her to be either sneaking or proudly puffing out her chest like Scar from Lion King (which I used for Den). I had a pretty tough time with her anatomy and I actually forgot her wrappings in the first WIP with her in it, so I actually posted naked princess to my good clean blog.

-Empty Cup’s heart just gets held up by a mini hand in the Shifty dance, and there’s a random arm sticking out where Beast’s head ended up in the original art so I thought it would be funny to have that hand do the honours. But with Beast bigger than I thought she had to move a bit, which is a bit of a shame because I rather liked that little detail.

-I knew Moment of Clarity was gonna be creepily staring at us from very early on, so Nightmare had to be doing something different. I considered one of her sassy poses but then figured that just because she can’t be scaring us doesn’t mean she can’t be scaring someone else. Not many princesses fit the role of scaree, but I had sketched Warm Princess nearby Nightmare already so I just moved her up a bit.

-Stranger’s spot first belonged to Razor before I realised Razor would be skewering princesses left and right if she was in the crowd. Then that spot was gonna be reserved for a Pristine Cut princess, until I realised something important about Stranger. In Shifty’s actual art, the minis are facing away from us, but I want to show faces. For the princesses on the sides that’s no problem since they naturally end up in profile, but the princesses in the middle naturally look away from us. So I had to find some excuse for turning princesses in the middle to the side. But Stranger’s extra faces meant I could still draw them even if the central face was looking at Shifty, making her perfect for a spot near the middle. Her comforting Warm and having Fury claw into her shoulder came about just because she happened to be in the right spot for both. If you look closely you can see she does have multiple hands, which are quite recognisable because they all have unusual numbers and positions of fingers.

-Adversary needed to go in that spot to counterbalance Beast, but I didn’t have a pose in mind until I was looking for refs and found a screenshot of her in the Shifty dance, standing up defiantly and looking like she’s bellowing a challenge. So that inspired me to have her challenging Shifty, though I did lay her down for the composition’s sake.

-Razor’s planned spot moved quite a bit: from Stranger’s spot, to being on Beast’s back waving her blades through the air. Then Beast turned out bigger than expected so Razor had to go back down to not mess up the composition. So I figured she’d probably be stabbing someone. At first I was gonna put her skewering a livid Fury, probably about to get hit by an organ-unwinding in return. But while I didn’t mind a bit of princess-on-princess violence, I wanted to keep the tone a bit lighter, so she finally ended up fighting Needle instead. I figure those two would get along.

-I had Deconstructed Damsel just sort of clinging to Needle’s butt in the thumbnail sketch, but I knew I was probably gonna move her. When Shifty’s hands grab her away she has an excellent shocked face so I thought it’d be funny to have her react to the Needle vs Razor fight, and putting another small princess between Beast and Razor worked well anyway.

-I’ve only played Fury’s chapter once and it wasn’t that clear in my mind, so I went to the discord for pose ideas. The main ones I got back were ‘angry but elegant’ and ‘clawing into another princess’. So with the fight going on near her, I went for a ‘You’d best break this up right now, or I will’ look. Poor Stranger happened to be in range of her claw.

-The Pristine Cut princesses were always going to be a part of this, but I didn’t plan on them all clustering around Fury. That happened because I kept finding better uses for their spots and I worked downwards and from the outside in, so they kept getting pushed back until they gathered around Fury. I hope none of them are big. I live in dread that Apotheosis might get two truly different endings like Wild or Prisoner.

-I got to Thorn petting Den through trying to think of a pose for Cold Princess. She’s got a pretty multi-faceted personality foreshadowing the six chapter 2 princesses she can become, so there were lots of possibilities but also none that jumped out as perfect. I thought of having her have a surprisingly pleasant conversation with Fury. Or just, arrogantly inspecting her nails. I knew I was gonna have Den proudly posed nearby, so then I thought of her being so happy because Cold was petting her. Which was cute, but still no flavour slamdunk. I then realised showing kindness to the dangerous beast despite her initial misgivings would actually fit Thorn, whom I’d already drawn, really well, and Thorn’s cautious pose would fit Cold equally well. I wasn’t quite sure at first and didn’t commit to the swap, drawing a generic princess without detail petting Den, and only when I saw it really was quite cute and befitting Thorn did I give her Thorn’s detail while replacing o.g. Thorn with Cold.

-Moment of Clarity is a creepshow and I knew from very early on I wanted her staring at the viewer like an extra in a James Tissot painting while still having her torso angled forward. I have no doubt she can turn her head backwards. As for Prisoner, her head gets carried separately by the minis and I thought it a funny gag to have one of Clarity’s disembodied hands doing the honours.

-Tower and Apotheosis pop up in the background instead of the foreground in-game, which is an elegant solution to deal with their size but not one I wanted to take. So they had to go into the corners with only their heads visible. I figure Tower would be hella jealous of Shifty in this situation, so that’s what she ended up looking like. Apotheosis is too big to show much personality, but I rather like that I can use her hair to frame the image. Maybe I should have it curling up into the Pristine Cut princesses’ spots for now to fill those up. Incidentally I do plan to give them the right skin colour after I finish inking - along with a bunch of other darker tones like Drowned Grey’s clothing that I’m also gonna do in pencil once I don’t need to worry about covering up pencil details any more.

-Oh yeah, for Shifty herself I went with her loving pose because I actually adore Shifty and think that expression looks really sweet. Although her manic-looking arms wide pose is fantastic too.

[deimosphilic]

HEADCANONS | JAKE SULLY

paring : jake sully x gn!reader

authors note : cute little thing whilst i procrastinate my neytiri series. for dialogue: bold = jake, normal = you. also, italics = na’vi language. lowk suggestive on one hc.

word count : 557

request : yes | no

masterlist

⋆ when he was on earth, he had an obsession with ‘90s films. since he was born like 150 years after, the films probably never actually worked but the snippets he could watch, he LOVED.

⋆ when he’s talking about something he’s passionate about, he talks SO FAST. like not even a little fast, so fast that only certain people, (you), can understand him.

⋆ he’s deathly allergic to strawberries. he smells that shit and he’s dropping dead.

⋆ he loves patterns. you’ll will usually catch him just tracing your stripes.

⋆ he used to have a goldfish called joe. before it died because he forgot to feed it.

⋆ he has a genuine fear of ladybugs.

⋆ he can’t pronounce squirrel properly. no matter how much anyone teaches him, he’s always back to “screwel”.

⋆ he LOVES physical touch. like, no matter what, he’s always touching you in some way. whether that be on your waist, whilst exploring the forest. or, too close to where you want him whenever you’re doing something important.

⋆ his lucky number is 47.

⋆ his first tattoo was a knife, and skull. he eventually got it removed because he was embarrassed of it.

⋆ he gets embarrassed SO EASILY. but he’s so good at covering it up by being very cocky. you literally could never tell he’s embarrassed.

⋆ he HATES the colour green, and living in the forest enhances that. everyday he’ll manage to complain to you. either about the green vine he had to climb, or the green leaf he had to eat off of. he’s the biggest green hater.

⋆ he absolutely adores helping you design stuff for your loincloths you make yourself. whether he asks you to weave his initials into it or he’ll pick out ‘cool rocks’ (as he says), and ask you to put them on your waistband.

⋆ even though he’s terrible at it, he loves doing your hair. he’ll make you sit down in front of him, and guide him through the whole process. you end up having to take down the braids because of how bad they are. at least he tried his best, right?

⋆ he amazing at pointing out small details. he could point something, that you do subconsciously, out. you’d be shocked than he knows more about you than you know about yourself, per say.

⋆ thinks it’s hilarious to tell you that an insult in english means something nice in na’vi. especially since you didn’t attend grace’s school.

⋆ “you cocksucker.” “what does that mean?” “it means that your hair looks nice.”

⋆ very paranoid when it comes to eating something with bones in it. he’ll spend an hour picking out every single little bone if that’s what it takes.

⋆ hates dancing unless he’s drunk. as soon as there’s alcohol in his system he’s up, and boogieing.

⋆ claims he hates the gossip you bring him in the middle of the night, but the minute you stop talking he will force you to continue.

⋆ “and she kissed his friend-” *cue the longest pause* “why’d you stop?” “because you weren’t even listening.” “of course i was. now continue… please.”

⋆ is a conspiracy theorist. he could go on, and on for hours about every single conspiracy he has. AND YOU EAT IT UP EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.

[witchthewriter]

𝐁𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐎𝐭𝐭𝐨 𝐇𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫'𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐠 𝐄𝐍𝐅𝐏 𝐰𝐢𝐟𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐥𝐮𝐝𝐞

⤷ female, ambiguous race, and any size reader. Requests are open, thank you for reading!  

a/n: reader is over the age of 18! 

ᴹᵃˢᵗᵉʳˡᶤˢᵗ    

SFW🌿

⭑Being the Hand of the King’s wife has advantages and disadvantages. 

⭑ You genuinely liked Otto, but paid him no mind. You were young and curious; the world seemed so big. 

⭑ After his wife died, Otto didn’t want to think about marrying again. For he had station and a daughter, and he was close to the king. 

⭑ But when he saw you, during one of the feasts, his heart beat fast than it had in years. 

⭑ Otto saw you dancing, twirling, and laughing with other ladies in the court. Your shoes had been discarded and your hair was coming undone by the second. 

⭑ You caught Otto’s eye and smiled at him, a sweet smile that he’d never forget. 

⭑ Alicent was a good friend of yours at court. As was Rhaenyra, but your house wasn’t too powerful, so your match was of high importance. 

⭑ Otto had approached you carefully. Not like a rabbit in a trap, but a bird that he wanted to hold. 

⭑ He would talk to you about your family and your likes/dislikes. How your time at court is going and the such 

⭑ He did go to your father to ask for your hand in marriage, and it did surprise you. Of course, you had reservations, marriage was sung about, it was supposed to be beautiful. You had the idea that you would marry a handsome knight or a kind lord. 

⭑ But the King’s Hand seemed like the next best thing 

⭑ Your family was ecstatic about the match - absolutely proud of you for marrying the King’s Hand. 

⭑ And Otto did give your family compensation for you - gold, but also protection. It meant your other sisters had a few more years until they would have to marry as well. 

⭑ Alicent soon discovered how she made Rhaenyra feel. The same betrayal was gut-wrenching as she watched you and her father married. 

⭑ You tried to talk to her, and for a few weeks she’s was very distant. But after she found out she was pregnant with the King’s child. She forgot all about her anger 

⭑ Although the ladies at court are much more careful around you - they’re more likely to hold their tongue 

⭑ I do believe that Otto wants the best for the realm, and he isn’t like Little Finger. He doesn’t do things just for personal gain, but for those that will come after his time 

⭑ You fell in love with his thoughts - the way his mind worked. Yes, he had traditional ideas but he was also a couple steps ahead of everyone else 

⭑ He knows how to win people over and tear people down 

⭑ You develop a strong relationship where you’re able to actually hold a normal conversation. You tell each other about your day and what happened. Otto is a bit hesitant to tell you details, as he knows things that can never be shared with anyone else. 

⭑ But you are able to actually interact. Not forcing it like it’s part of your duty. You like speaking with him. He’s very wise and has a lot of good advice 

⭑ He isn’t forceful with the thought of having heirs 

⭑He sees you as a light in his world - hope - 

⭑ Relationship Tropes: 

  ✧ Beauty and the Beast

  ✧ Calculated Romance

  ✧ Arranged Marriage But Love Develops 

NSFW🔞minors dni!

⭑ You were a virgin wife - innocent in many things, sex included. 

⭑ Otto liked knowing that he was ‘corrupting you.’ Your 

⭑ Otto likes being in charge during sex. Telling you what to do, how to move, when you can cum. 

⭑ He likes edge-play and making you beg for release 

⭑ Likes when you grind against his thigh; whine and moan that you want his cock inside of you

⭑ Otto isn’t rough, and doesn’t force you to do anything you don’t want to do. 

⭑ He is on the older side of life, and can only last about 2 rounds 

⭑ But he is very skilled at eating you out.

⭑ And I don’t think he would be that big into liking head, he’d much rather give than receive in that aspect  

⭑ But he does fantasise about you when you’re not around. Especially during boring meetings, he has perfected the neutral look where no one can tell what he’s thinking  

⭑ His favourite place to cum is inside of you

⭑ He loves playing with your breasts; pinching and licking at your nipples. 

⭑ And he loves seeing you wear the Hand’s pin while he fucks you - that’s his biggest kink 

⭑ He loves whispering dirty things in your ear

       “You like my cock inside of your pretty pussy?”

⭑ Otto actually lets out little growls, not meaning to, but you get him so hot and horny that he can’t help it

Tagged: https://ohthelittlethingsilove.tumblr.com/

[starglitterz]

celebrating birthdays is much more difficult than expected.

feat; diluc x gn!reader

warnings; i forgot how 2 write lol,,, food mention,,, not proofread we die like how everyone thought kazuha would <3

a/n; KOIII! @chichikoi !! HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY LOVE !!! im not sure what timezone ur in but this is scheduled to post for 12am 15/9 aka as soon as ur bday starts in my timezone! i hope u like this mwahhhh also theres a better letter for u in the a/n utc ♡

please reblog ! it helps a lot :)

diluc.

diluc ragnvindr has rarely been close enough to anyone to celebrate their birthday, nor does he feel the need to. he pretends he doesn't remember the birthday parties crepus and him threw for kaeya when they were young, and the parties he had for his birthdays too - isn't he too old for that now? he doesn't feel so inclined to sit awkwardly with a party hat on his head while he waits for everyone to finish singing happy birthday. but with you, things are different. he desperately wants to commemorate your special day, the day you were brought into this world, the day that's the sole reason he's able to date you now. unfortunately, he has zero clue how to.

originally, he considered asking the knights for their opinion, but when he thought of how kaeya would tease him, the proud smile jean would wear as she realised that he was asking for help from the knights of all people, the way eula would take this as just another reason to exact vengeance, how klee didn't even like him, and how albedo probably had no idea too, diluc changed his mind very quickly. hence, he sought assistance from none other than the workers in his house. hillie and moco were unhelpful, merely starstruck at the chance of speaking to their boss face to face, while connor suggested making you a special brew, which diluc rejected. thankfully, adelinde and elzer managed to save the day. adelinde whipped up a delicious birthday cake that was your favourite flavour, with elaborate edible decorations and a 'happy birthday!' illustrated on it with icing. elzer, with his eye for detail and skill at handling important affairs, plotted out your schedule and found the perfect time for diluc to surprise you - right after you wake up the next morning.

-

to say diluc is terrified would be an understatement. he's been in so many battles, defeated hundreds of fatui members, yet here he is; quaking in his boots at the thought of you disliking his surprise. but then he thinks to himself that he's got to thank you somehow for everything you've done for him. the way a smile from you brightens up his entire day, how your warm hugs never fail to cheer him up, your reassurance and light scolding whenever he overworks, the infinite wonderful memories the two of you have made together that he keeps hidden like precious treasures in his heart - he's so lucky to have you, and diluc is planning to show you just how grateful he is today.

from outside the door of your shared bedroom (no, he still can't get over the fact that you live with him! and sleep in the same bed!), diluc lights the candle on the cake in his arms. he can hear the sounds of you faintly stirring, and his cheeks redden slightly with excitement and anticipation as he thinks about how he's going to gift you with a kiss too, aside from the present waiting for you downstairs; it's something you've mentioned wanting for ages, and diluc recalled you saying that and purchased it. the candle flame flickers gently, and diluc smiles at no one in particular, imagining your joyous expression when you see it. it may not be his birthday, but as he looks up from the dancing flame and enters the bedroom, diluc makes a silent wish.

archons, i hope they have the best birthday!

quill speaks !

koi,

happy birthday !!!!!! i rlly hope your bday goes amazing, and that you have the most awesome day ever! shoutout to you for being one of the no1 diluc simps omg i hope u like the fic too <3!!! you're super funny and friendly all the time, i love seeing ur posts and even willingly followed the brand new koithe2nd for a clogged up dash! LOL but seriously, you're a great person, the only person i can tolerate making fart jokes (besides genesis), and i rlly hope we get to become closer friends & that diluc comes home for u ASAP ! mwah i think that's all for now, happy birthday again koi !! keep being the super awesome person you are, ily <3

xoxo,

quill <3

um to the rest of u 🙄 /j

i cba to use my taglist for this post im so tired im sorry </3

but anyways heres a tag for my beloved sarah @almondto-fu bc hashtag elzer mention 😋

i know i said i wasnt going to be writing but kois bday bash is an exception!!!!!!!!!! im going back into hibernation now !!!!!!!!! /hj

anyways i dont rlly have much to say except that i had to go boil water halfway thru writing this and then nearly cried bc of injury pain but its ok who cares we die like crepus 😎‼ LMAOOO pls im too tired to tag this properly i just wanna sleep ahhhh goodnight all of u !!

hope you enjoy your stay at quill’s dessert cafe, and do check out the menu if you’d like ! 🍭

© starglitterz 2021. do not repost or modify in any way.

[goodnightmemes]

DEXTER SEASON TWO SENTENCE STARTERS (PART TWO)

Lines taken from 2x07-2x12 of the show Dexter. Feel free to change pronouns or edit in any way to better fit your needs. Here is part one.

❛ I thrive on chaos. But this is good, too. ❜

❛ I had to do a little creative problem-solving at someone else's expense. ❜

❛ Pardon my tits. ❜

❛ Are you trying to fuck her or set her on fire? ❜

❛ Sometimes the truth speaks from a peaceful place. It's taken me a long time to find that place, but I think I have, and it's telling me you're not the right one for me. I'm so sorry. ❜

❛ Is that what I am? Clean? 'cause I don't feel that way at all. ❜

❛ No, I won't do that. I won't let you turn me into you. ❜

❛ Hope you don't expect me to comment on that so you can record it on your hidden tape recorder. I wasn't born yesterday. ❜

❛ Your past is a bigger mystery than fucking Jimmy Hoffa. ❜

❛ No matter what you try, no matter when, no matter how hard you work, I'll always be a step ahead of you for one simple reason. I own you. ❜

❛ When I'm alone and it's quiet, I get scared shitless, like I start hearing what's really going on inside. ❜

❛ 'Cause when you're around, I kind of feel like I can deal with anything, you know? ❜

❛ I've always worked best in the shadows, and that's where I have to stay. ❜

❛ You can't go back. You know that. ❜

❛ You are not allowed to talk about anyone I date as long as you're seeing little Miss "pardon my tits." ❜

❛ She is obviously a vampire. A gross english-titty vampire. ❜

❛ Can't change who I am. I'm crass and dirty, and...I have a very filthy mind. ❜

❛ Jesus Christ. They sell anyone a gun in Florida, won't they? ❜

❛ That man. He wasn't trying to rob you. He was trying to kill you. ❜

❛ Nothing you could do,___, would scare me. ❜

❛ Whatever comes, we'll get through this together. I'm not leaving your side. ❜

❛ I need to embrace who I am, who I've always been. ❜

❛ It's like I've been living underwater, holding my breath, and now I can finally breathe. ❜

❛ ___ almost had me believing it was possible to change, to become something else, as if that ever really happens. I've always known what I am. ❜

❛ I'm finding it's best to accept things you can't change, you know? ❜

❛ Is this the monster that you keep telling me about? ❜

❛ Trust me, when you meet the monster, you'll know. ❜

❛ Nice. My subconscious isn't even bothering with symbolism. ❜

❛ I feel...such regret, which is rare for me. But not that I don't mess up. I do...just never so stupendously. ❜

❛ If they're looking for proof, they won't find it. Not here at least. ❜

❛ Then maybe you should come with us, because who knows what secrets will come ❜ pouring out of me once the drinks start flowing. ❜

❛ I'm done with it and you. Did I not make that clear last night? ❜

❛ Those friends of yours, they didn't even know you. They just see the mask, but I see it all. ❜

❛ Can't live with her. Can't kill her. ❜

❛ Fuck! I'm talking about my feelings. What the fuck is your problem? ❜

❛ I've always sensed there was something... off about him. Like he's hiding in plain sight. ❜

❛ If you got in the middle of this and you got hurt… ❜

❛ The only way I can help you is if you turn yourself in. ❜

❛ Don't you disappear on me. ❜

❛ I want you to know that you meant a lot to me, more than you know, and... I just want to thank you for that. ❜

❛ If I never see her again, it'll be too soon. ❜

❛ Sleep would be nice, but there's too much to do. ❜

❛ Okay, I may be sleeping with him, but it doesn't mean he tells me shit or listens to me about anything, so stop asking! ❜

❛ That's right, motherfucker! It's over. ❜

❛ I knew there was something with you. But this shit? ❜

❛ What can I say? You were right about me. I never held it against you. I don't now. ❜

❛ It's a graze wound. Minor tissue abrasion. No hemorrhage along the bullet track. Sorry. I think I'm gonna live. ❜

❛ If you're not gonna let me go, then kill me now. Just get it over with. ❜

❛ You're a killer. I catch killers. ❜

❛ So it's okay to take a life as long as you get a paycheck for it? ❜

❛ Either kill me or set me free. ❜

❛ Taking a life is one thing, but the care and feeding of it is another. ❜

❛ I'm generally confused most of the time. ❜

❛ You ever care about anyone? Then you shouldn't have to ask. 'Cause when you care about someone, you do what you have to do. ❜

❛ I remember when life was easy, when the only question I worried about was "who's next?" Now it's: "How can I dodge my protective detail? "What should I do with my hostage?" These are not easy questions. ❜

❛ It's not about what I think. It's all about the evidence. ❜

❛ Hair-pulling may not be manly, but it's very effective. ❜

❛ If he wanted me dead, I'd be dead by now. ❜

❛ You are the only one I can count on, jackass. ❜

❛ It puts a pit in my stomach that I can only interpret as... sadness. ❜

❛ You working on an exit strategy? I'm afraid that's not gonna happen. ❜

❛ How come there's never a circus when you need one? ❜

❛ What was that shit last night? Some kind of fucking scare tactic? ❜

❛ Don't test me. I could have killed you. I didn't. ❜

❛ You're actually angry. I've never seen you angry. This is good. ❜

❛ I should warn you. You can't play on my feelings. I don't have any. ❜

❛ It's a tough job. It can wear on even the best of us. ❜

❛ I yell a lot...and bitch and complain, and I keep expecting people to guess what I want, but I never really say it. ❜

❛ And that was exciting, you know? The not knowing. What might happen, what could be. It was all possibility. ❜

❛ Your life is going to rest in the hands of the criminal justice system you put all your faith in. I wish you the best of luck. ❜

❛ You need help. Let me help you. ❜

❛ You don't have to do this! You don't have to kill this man! ❜

❛ Sorry it had to go down like this. But there really was no other way. ❜

❛ Stay away. Just stay away from me. ❜

❛ Did you happen to be stuffing a human leg into a garbage bag at that point? ❜

❛ There's that anger again. You got to let that out. ❜

❛ You're spinning. Let me help you. It's only a matter of time before you'll hurt someone else. ❜

❛ Take responsibility for who you are. ❜

❛ Why can't you just let me go? ❜

❛ If I got to choose a person... A real person... to be like, out of anyone, it'd be you. ❜

❛ Who joined who in the shower this morning? ❜

❛ For such a neat monster, I'm making an awfully big mess. ❜

❛ Maybe this is how evil works. Destroying everything it touches. ❜

❛ I've been held prisoner in a cabin for two fucking days. Fucking hellhole. ❜

❛ After everything we've been through lately, I just want... to be together with you guys. ❜

❛ You told me to take responsibility for what I am. You were right. ❜

❛ I can't live in this house of cards anymore, waiting for it all to fall down. I need to do something, you know? ❜

❛ If I do this, I need a day to get my affairs in order. ❜

❛ Mention that when they interview you for the story of my life. ❜

❛ Don't leave me in this cage, anything could happen. ❜

❛ I lie to everyone I know... except my victims right before I kill them. It's hard to establish much of a rapport there. ❜

❛ Sorry about the cage. ❜

❛ I've always been curious to try. Do you have any weed? ❜

❛ Love's a battlefield. Or in your case, a restraining order. ❜

❛ When a pretty girl smiles and bats her eyelashes, we're powerless to resist. ❜

❛ I met with a lawyer yesterday. He helped me prepare a living trust that gives you control of all my assets in the event of my death or... certain other situations. ❜

❛ God. Go away. This is creepy. ❜

❛ I'm free tonight, you wanna stop by? We'll have beer, a couple of steaks? I wanna talk to you about something. ❜

❛ I just need you to know that... you and the kids are very important to me. No matter what happens, I want you to always know that. ❜

❛ I know I've been taking things slow with us, but it's not because I don't have feelings for you. It's more like I have too many feelings, and I just wanna make sure to get it right. ❜

❛ I want you gone. Tonight. ❜

❛ I've spent a lifetime keeping up my guard, watching my back, wearing my mask. Relief was never in sight until now. ❜

❛ Lately, I was starting to feel like I had my head pretty far up my ass. ❜

❛ You decide who you are, who you want to be...and you hold onto that and ride it out. ❜

❛ I need some help! Just open the door! I'm being held captive. ❜

❛ Damn, it's good to see another face. I never thought I would. ❜

❛ When something beyond reason happens, it turns skeptics into believers. ❜

❛ If you believe that God makes miracles, you have to wonder if Satan has a few up his sleeve. ❜

❛ I can't exactly feel their pain, but I can appreciate it. ❜

❛ I kinda forgot who I was. I got it straight now. ❜

❛ The term is homicidal maniac. Not that I'm judging. ❜

❛ A public place. You thought I was gonna...That I would slip my needle into your neck? ❜

❛ You're afraid of me now, aren't you? ❜

❛ You're emotionally color-blind. You use the right words, you pantomime the right behavior, but feelings never come to pass. ❜

❛ You know the dictionary definition of emotions: longing, joy, sorrow...You have no idea of what any of those things actually feel like. ❜

❛ I created a monster of my own. ❜

❛ What did you do to make her so pathetically crazy for you? Does your dick dance? ❜

❛ What're we doing home in the middle of the day? She asked, hoping for sex. ❜

❛ Why? Why do I have to make up my mind? ❜

❛ I've never put much weight onto the idea of a higher power. But if I didn't know better, I'd have to believe that some force out there wants me to keep doing what I'm doing. ❜

❛ As it turns out, nobody mourns the wicked. ❜

❛ Am I evil? Am I good? I'm done asking those questions. I don't have the answers. ❜

[its-me-im-coraline]

Amalfi Nights // Victoria De Angelis

words // 2766, SHOCK!

warnings // smut, pretty vanilla, softdom!vic, servicetop!vic, praise, kind of fluffy smut

pairing // Victoria De Angelis x F!Reader author's note // if you want to be on the tag list let me know. as far as i gathered the request was about female reader so i did that, i can def change it to gn pronouns but unfortunately don't know how exactly i can make detailed smut entirely gn so i am sorry for that. anyways, i hope you enjoyed it, my smut skills feel rusty but it was nice writing some smut again

request // yes, here

summary // Reader and Victoria are for vacantion in Amalfi. After a candle-lit dinner at the restaurant, after a long day of swimming and sumbathing, Victoria just wants to show you her love.

(i forgot i changed the setting)

It was not unusual for the bassist to overwork herself. Sometimes she did not even realise what she was doing, she just worked mechanically writing, playing… She would ignore everyone and everything that was not her job, as if in some kind of tance that only allowed her to focus on one and only one thing.

The one that was truly affected by that - other than her of course - was her wonderful lover. Y/N had the patience of a saint, in the words of Damiano, being the only one truly able to deal with Victoria’s stubbornness. Some would call it patience, others call it tolerance, others name it thriftiness, Y/N simply calls it love. There was a lot of love targeted at the blonde woman, a love that made her lover unable to just let her push herself to the limit, no matter what she did.

As the ‘thrifty’ characterization indicates, Y/N almost always -with the exception of very few occasions when Victoria had some pretty compelling arguments- found a way to pull her out of that. Usually it was the plain promise of cuddles and kisses, maybe even sex would lure her out of her tiring working cycle, but this time nothing seemed to work. Y/N had to be really inventive this time and luckily it was something possible.

The plan went as such: a vacation at Amalfi, just for a weekend. You just put Victoria in the car and go. Nothing can go wrong. It seemed like a fool-proof plan, and truly it was. It happened to be fairly easy to convince Vic to get in the car. “Just get in or I’ll spend the weekend in Amalfi alone, no phone calls, no pictures. Nothing.” As always, compelling.

It seemed to be the girl’s weakness; Y/N. By the simple threat of not seeing her lover for a weekend, not getting any of the beautiful photos she was sure there would be, Victoria was ready to even teleport to the coast if possible.

Trouble started one Victoria sat herself in that car. From the first moment, when she opened the door, her insatiability was clear. “How long does it take to get there?” “Are we there yet?” “How much longer until we are there?” “When will we stop?” “Let me drive.” “I don’t even need the break.” This is how the entire three and a half hour trip went, with Victoria whining, complaining and asking to drive. It was worse than having a five year old but Y/N would never have it any other way.

Arriving there was a breath of fresh air. The blonde finally stopped asking questions and talking and her partner got the chance to enjoy some peace. It was truly beautiful. The sea, the mountains, the houses and even the hidden buildings, it seemed like out of a fairy tale, Y/N wasting no time expressing that thought. Victoria, being a few meters away, basking in the scenery, responded swiftly by walking back to her lover, leaving kisses up her face. “It’s only so beautiful because I have you here.”

Oh that sweet talk of hers, enough to make anyone melt, melt to their knees and beg for her love. Y/N felt helpless around her girlfriend, not in a bad way, although it could certainly be dangerous, but in a way of… being drunk, drunk in love, drunk by her beauty, by her personality. It was never about her looks and always about how Victoria could always lift the girl off her feet with only her words. She’d feel like she’s floating every time they are together, floating in the most beautiful dream.

The day passed by smoothly, the pair spending it under the sun and into the sea, they only stopped when the sun seemed to be setting. She might have not known how to show it exactly but Victoria was extremely thankful for the partner she had, knowing the lengths the other woman would go for her. She thought of the best way to show her just that, maybe with some dinner, the atmosphere was utterly romantic; the Amalfi coast, sunset hour was nearing, she had her lover right there, and all the means to show her how she felt. So she moved on with the plan.

After arriving in the hotel, Vic rushed to get herself ready first, hoarding the bathroom, winning herself enough time to set up the dinner.

“I’ll be showering now,” called Y/N, “might take a while, I think I burned my shoulders a bit…”

“Don’t forget to get ready while you’re there. We need to be ready the soonest possible if we want to explore!”

Her girlfriend hummed in response, Victoria having an inner dance party -and feeling bad for it- before going down the lobby to arrange everything with the hotel. From Y/N’s favorite food, to her favorite wine and even favourite flowers, everything was set to perfection. It was done surprisingly fast, the blonde woman taking an active role in it, realising how last minute it was. By the time Y/N was showered, dressed and ‘fancied up’ her girlfriend had everything but the food set. But it was not of the utmost importance, knowing that they could wait for it a bit.

“Hey, babe, I’m dr- essed… What did you do?” She smiled, mesmerized by the view in front of her. The balcony of their hotel room was set like a dream. Flowers on the table, two glasses for wine and said wine next to the table. She wasn’t sure how to react to such action.

“I only wanted to thank you, amore. You do so much for me, caring for me, baring my stubbornness. For fuck’s sake you brought me here cause I’m over worked,” she breathed out the last few words, unable to speak properly before moving to her girlfriend to kiss her.

“I simply love you,” Victoria whispered against Y/N’s lips, moving her to her chair before occupying her own.

The whole dinner revolved around the two just exchanging glances and flirty words. “You're hot, delicious, you look scrumptious,” one of them would say, a hungry look on her face, the other blushing, almost jumping from her chair. It was torture to just sit so close yet so far away from each other.

“Just move closer to me, dolcessa,” breathed out Victoria, signaling for the other girl to move her chair closer. Y/N did not hesitate to obey her girlfriend’s suggestion, quickly shuffling herself next to Victoria.

“Bravo ragazza. You obey very well, amore.” If it had been possible for Y/N to keep any sinful thoughts at bay before everything went out the window immediately as the blonde opened her mouth. “It will be extremely useful after dinner is over. Mhm,” she paused, leaving kisses on her girlfriend’s neck, “I am thinking, second course?”

Everything after that moment was a blur. The pair did not even get the chance to finish their dinner before Victoria had dragged her lover inside the room and pinned her right next to the window. Her kisses were hot and sloppy but Y/N would be lying if she said she’s complaining. If anything this moment is all she’s been waiting for today. The blonde never stopped her ‘attack’, moving closer and closer to Y/N’s sweet spot, assaulting the spot with the lips, her teeth and her tongue, taking special care of it.

Her trail only lowered as she kept on kissing and leaving marks all over, hands on her partner’s waist, lips on the swell of her chest. “You know this shirt drives me crazy, dolcezza! Of course you do. That’s why you wore it, huh?” Y/N couldn’t speak, all ability to form words and sounds was taken away by her lover. “Speak to me amore, this isn’t the time to be naughty.”

“That’s why I wore it,” responded the helpless girl, slowly being undressed by her lover.

“Well, it’s a shame it’s going away, no?” And with that the shirt was removed entirely, leaving Y/N’s chest almost fully exposed to Victoria, her action did not waver, though. She kept her direction to the girl’s bottoms, kissing above the top of her pants before throwing a questioning look up. Y/N only nodded eagerly, giving Victoria the permission she needed to presume her actions, removing the pants without much thought or effort.

“It is not fair, Vic,” whined Y/N, eyes semi closed with the pleasure the other girl’s feathery touch around her body provided, “you are overdressed.”

“You’re right, puppy,” she responded, swiftly getting up, dropping a kiss and seductively moving towards the bed. “Why don’t you come and return the favor? I got so tired undressing you, now you’ll have to it for me,” she taunted, smirking evidently as she held her self up by her arms, legs semi open on the bed, eyes eye-fucking her lover already.

A little bit of encouragement was all Y/N to get a little confidence and take the lead a bit. “Tell me if you want me to stop,” she whispered in Victoria's ear and started copying her girlfriend’s previous actions.

Her hands were going everywhere, unsure of where to stay or whether they should stay still. Eventually they moved under her shirt, massaging her chest there, emitting a series of moans to leave Victoria’s mouth. “Too much fabric,” she mumbled on Vic’s skin, opting to remove said fabric, making all access so much easier and revealing the beautiful lingerie underneath.

“So pretty you are Victoria. What a beauty. I got lucky, now, didn’t I?” The focus shifted on the woman’s chest. Her nipples were poking through the bra, doing very little to cover anything, but the goal was never to hide.

“Work on my boobs, baby, go on,” encouraged Victoria after noticing Y/N’s hyperfixation on said body parts. “I know you love it.”

No thought occurred before the last girl did as told. Lips left kisses and marks all over Victoria’s chest, paying special attention to the line above her bra. Her hands moved swiftly behind Vic’s back, unclasping her bra, removing it and moving to attack her nipples. They were perky due to the breeze entering the room through the open balcony door but also from the arousal. Y/N loved to love them, always one of her favorite things to do in bed. She loved to suck on them, to kiss them, even lick around them or pop her in and out her mouth like cherries.

Y/N was not the only one to enjoy the attention she gave them. Victoria would be lying if she said she did not get wetter and wetter whenever her partner gave her nipples so much love. It was possibly the hottest view, to look at her from above, gazes aligned, such delicious noises released by both lovers; wet sounds and moans. The whole scene was beautifully pornographic, straight out of a movie, so theatrical but genuinely felt.

The lower girl decided on the next move without a warning, slowly moving her hand to move under Vic’s fancy shorts. The discovery there made her insane, and only then did she really get sure that her girlfriend had planned for this to happen. The lingerie set seemed complete, not that it mattered that much anymore, the panties got most likely slightly ruined by just how wet Victoria was. No prep was needed, not much effort at all, she was entirely ready for anything, a fact that made Y/N feel proud of her work so far. Without a word, one of her fingers started pumping in and out of the blonde. Such a wonderful scene, the delicious movements of them both, the divine moans the blonde let out… It was a plain dream that neither of them wanted to get out of. Everything just felt perfect, like an all time high, and maybe it was just that, a high, one that both found themselves in quite often.

“This,” began Victoria, struggling to speak between her moans and thrusts on Y/N’s fingers, “was supposed to be a thank you from me to you, cucciola. Agh,” she struggled again, the pleasure just being too much, fingers deep inside her with constant friction on her clit.

“Stop, oh my, stop, amore. I want your mouth,” she all but screamed, rushing to unbutton and remove her shorts, all but ripping her panties off. Y/N simply shuffled to her knees in front of the bed, settling between Vic’s open legs and diving right in.

Not taking almost any time to breathe in between, just kissing her clit and ramming her fingers in and out of Victoria as her hands rested on her lover’s head, pushing her closer every time a wave of pleasure took over her. Her tongue was everywhere, the one moment lapping over Vic’s clit and the next one assisting her fingers inside the blonde. The whole ordeal had her pulsing and shaking underneath Y/N resulting in her cumming all over the girl's face with no warning.

“That was so hot,” giggled Y/N, getting up to leave kisses all over Vic’s face, absolutely adoring the whole fucked out expression she held. “I want to do it again,” she continued, just like a kid in a candy store, eyes gleaming with excitement.

“No, no, puppy! You were so good to me, but now it’s your time. You deserve to be loved.” It was all mumbled, but her tone was always authoritative.

“Just move to the bed, love.” With that Y/N did as told, moving onto the bed and spreading her legs, just like Victoria liked. Her back was on the headboard, leaning there to be more comfortable, hands already touching her own chest in anticipation.

“Keep the bra, cucciola, but I think the panties need to go… Mhm, not that I don’t like them, but they get in the way. Can you remove them for me?” It was not really a question but her lover still gave a small yes as a response. “I feel like you deserve a very good reward, puppy, don’t you agree?”

Y/N was sitting there in awe and staring at her partner, maybe a little worried by the toy or maybe just excited for the up and coming event. Giving pleasure to Victoria had only made her more hot and bothered, unable to wait for the said blonde to act.

And she acted, swiftly removing the black lace panties her enamoured bottom was wearing after she left kisses all around the line of them. It’s that moment she saw the effect she gained over the girl for the night; her panties were absolutely soaked, in a lot of spots not being able to distinguish skin from the fabric of the undergarment, making her salivate at the sight, opting to kiss her wet pussy over and over, stimulating her before working her magic.

Victoria started off slow, a very rhythmic tempo but tortuous at the same time. She went from one finger to two and three and then added her mouth into the mix, hiding herself between her favorite girl’s thighs, getting lost in the taste and the noise.

“You are doing so good, my love, taking my fingers so well, mhm, such a good girl.” The praise never stopped, only encouraging more and more sinful noises to leave Y/N’s lips, the same ones that were parted the whole time, swollen and begging to be kissed. Victoria did not hesitate to do exactly that, allowing Y/N to taste her juices, the kiss doing little to conceal the confirmation of pleasure.

As Vic’s pace quickened, Y/N was struggling to keep it together, falling apart in the blonde’s hands, cummiing with a loud moan and a series of curses as she was left there, in bliss; in afterglow. “Be a doll and drink this, precious,” whispered Victoria, giving some water to the girl, before following her own advice and doing the same. After, she moved to the hotel room bathroom, quickly finding a small towel to wet with warm water and clean both of them up.

By the time she walked back in the bedroom Y/N was practically asleep on the bed, sprawled out, just as she was left, as soft breaths left her. Victoria smiled at herself, proceeding with cleaning her girlfriend up before leaving a kiss on her forehead and getting in the bed, following suit and falling asleep.

tag list: @bieberhoodforever @tabi-toast @ginny-lily @moriro-da-regina @the-killer-queenie @makapaka11

[i-donot-forget]

Eldarya Ep 7 (opinion)

Episode 7!!!! They gave us a nice ball, a nice dress and a nice moment with our LI (Discounting some details in the illustrations that I already mentioned before) the episode was very good, it is a clear transition, that little respite before everything goes wrong again.

Eldarya has always been a different otome, because the story does not revolve around the protagonist and her love story, it is about the protagonist saving the fucking world, the moments with our route have always been scarce and interrupted, remember that in TO until episode 17 we have the first date, from then on things go too fast and finally it cannot be said that we really got to know any of our romantic interests, an exception for Valkyon but I think it's obvious why. New Era has a great advantage, we already know these guys (except Mathieu but we have that connection of "hey we are both from earth"), we already know who they are, we already know this world, now falling in love will be "faster" than in a way it's good because we already saw that when Erika realizes that she feels something for someone, she goes after him (I love her for that, I couldn't ahahaha) and so we come to this episode, after the beautiful moment on the boat where we realize that we feel something for that special boy.

But this is Eldarya so...

the damn world is going to end again and Nevra is ready for war, I know it sounds ugly but I find it absolutely correct, if the earth is going to absorb Eldarya... They are lost, I cannot imagine any scenario in which the humans of the earth welcome all of Eldarya with open arms, that is, let's face it, how many countries are there where immigrants are a plague for a certain portion of the population? I'm not saying it's right or wrong, I'm just saying it's like that and with the Eldaryans it will be worse. People like Huang Hua, Huang Chu, might go unnoticed, but Koori??? Lance???? What will humans think when Chrome is in trouble and can't control himself with Earth's Moon, how are Nevra and Karenn going to live with Earth's Sun that is lethal to them??? I can only think it's going to be a disaster, besides, how does this "absorption" work? Will the portals get bigger and bigger until eldarya disappears? Will everything fall from the sky? because clearly earth will not be the most affected... Humans are dangerous, our history of clash between cultures is always to exterminate the unknown and in this case it will be fatal for both factions but if you ask me, humans are not going to become extinct...

With all of that in mind, I'm not surprised that Lance had his head elsewhere and forgot about his clothes... but hey, it was a funny moment that made me think that we still don't know the real Lance and that attitude is just the same one that Valkyon adopted after Lance's "death"...

The moment of meditation with Leiftan was painful… now I understand many things, and I believe that all his sufferings and the loss of his powers is something mental. All the confidence that Leiftan had in himself resided in his powers, in TO he was at the top, he was the most powerful being in Eldarya and he handled everyone like simple puppets, he was confident, capable of everything, the first time we saw him desperate was after losing half his life (for us), now in NE ufff he tells us, he feels vulnerable, helpless, incomplete, without identity, If everything you were was based on your strength and power, who are you without it? Despite everything, I think it started very well, Leiftan tells us the truth, for the first time he trusts something of the utmost importance in us, the fact that he is now defenseless implies many things, Lance remains on the guard because of his power and abilities which is very useful, the same could apply to Leiftan but without his powers he could believe that the HQ would not want him (although in TO nobody knew he was a daemon). He confides in us a secret that is vital to him, reveals his vulnerability and I must say that I love him too much, when he tells us that he feels exactly the same as we do when we talk to him about our powers, he finally opens up to us and then the hug melted my heart. Now that he no longer has (and cannot) protect us, our relationship will be different.

The ball, I am not surprised that Princess Koori organized a ball, Huang Hua's speech was extremely touching, my heart clenched when she mentioned those who had left, I couldn't help but think of Valkyon... Now is the time to dance and I am fascinated by how Erika takes the reins and invites her LI, here we part.

Mathieu: adorable nothing to say, I love them, his route is pure laughter and games and fun, I really like Mathieu, I did not trust him but their moments together are sooo sweet, we see him as the center of attention, something very about him but naturally, it does not attract attention forcibly, they really are standing out for what they are, everything is very nice, a great dance, I think that at the point where they left the scene, I would believe in a kiss, not passionate or anything but a first kiss all cute, nervous and natural.

Nevra: I love that he's waiting for us, I think they already act like boyfriend and girlfriend without wanting to say it hahahaha and I love him, Nevra want us and loves us, he doesn't say it but he shows it only with his actions, I still feel like he's going to scare at the key moment, I feel that he keeps many things that explode in that uncompromising anger, I wait for a very intimate moment between them that makes me cry I want to see him cry, I know he needs it, I know he needs Erika to hug him and tell him that everything it will be fine, he needs someone to be the strong one.

Lance: the moment is very nice I cannot deny it, it is beautiful, Lance's reaction to Erika's invitation is great and again I love her determination, it struck me that Lance does know how to dance, but an old-fashioned dance, that just means that In his previous time in the guard of eel he did dance, I always imagined him as the popular cool boy that everyone follows, I'm still waiting to see that, I already want to break that shell and get the real Lance out.

Leiftan: Ahhhh my beautiful baby I leave him at the end because it is my route and I love him and I can't help but fangirl very hard for him. Erika dragging him to the dance floor imitating Karenn, I loved it, Erika helping Leiftan with his confidence and security, I super loved it, the inevitable attraction between them that is so strong that the moment screams that they will kiss, I cannot express my emotion, I love him I can't stop loving him and I just want they to be alone to see the damn connection in all its glory 7u7

So I wait for the catastrophe in the next episode, I still don't know if it will be a portal opening in the middle of the crystal room or if it will be the crystal itself that does something idk, surprise me beemoov

[dreaming-about-fanfictions]

Choose Me Instead II Draco Malfoy x Reader II Chapter 19 of 27: Cursed

Summary: Pretending to be in a relationship with Draco Malfoy to get back at your ex might have not been the smartest idea you ever had. Especially during your last year of Hogwarts where you should be focusing on exams and your future plans. However, you were just pretending. There was no way in hell you could actually catch feelings for someone like Malfoy. … Right?

CHOOSE ME INSTEAD MASTERLIST CHOOSE ME INSTEAD PLAYLIST

A/N: Better late than never lol! Here it is! Thank you for being patient though! ilysm <3 This was a difficult one, I hope you like it! Btw, I recently found out that Dracos mum is called “Narcissa” and not “Narzissa” in the english version. She’s called “Narzissa” in the German Books. However, I’ll keep calling her Narzissa in this story (because I’m lazy and don’t want to change it). Enjoy!

Words: 3.4k Pairing: Draco Malfoy x Reader, post war Warnings: tw eating disorder (mentions of it) --> please be aware that the way eating disorders are approached by the purebloods in this story is not something i (the author) approves of. I just thought it’d be a more realistic way for them to act like this.

It felt wrong.

Draco only used the Room of Requirements to be with you. He never went here on his own. Not that he would ever admit it – but the room scared him. The last time he’d been here alone was at the beginning of this school year. He found out then that it didn’t change for him anymore. All he saw when he walked in were the dirty, cracked windows and the flies and spiders that died in front of them. Old furniture, forgotten books and dirt was scattered around, piling up and towering over him.

As he stood there, his gaze was drawn to the end of the room. Hiding behind the corners, buried under black linen, there it was. The vanishing cabinet. He felt its presence. Looming, waiting, calling for him. Alright, to be fair, the last part was probably only in his imagination. It didn’t change his feelings towards this particular room of Hogwarts though.

It was different when you were with him. It changed for you and turned the monster that it was for Draco into a purring housecat. With you, it felt like a vacation. As if he had travelled to a small cottage, far away from roaring cities or ancient castles.

However tonight, you were not here. Astoria Greengrass had taken your place. She sat on a couch across from Draco, back straight, hands neatly folded in her lap. Her black hair was tied up in a bun and not a single strand of hair was out of place. The spitting image of her mother, Draco thought. He had always wondered about how different the Greengrass sisters looked. Astoria inherited the sharp features, thin lips, and slim figure of her mother. Daphne resembled their father a lot more with her round face, long blonde hair, and the doe-like eyes. The both of them were like night and day. Yin and Yang.

Draco looked around the room which had turned into a smaller version of the Slytherin common room. All the important details where there – from the green colors to the Slytherin emblems on the pillows and carpet. Only the windows were out of place. They didn’t offer him a view inside of the lake but were the same cracked ones, he had seen one too many times in his life. It reminded him that he wasn’t here with you.

It felt wrong.

 ***

Draco leaned back against the chair. He crossed his leg and his fingertips tapped a non-recognizable rhythm on his right upper thigh. Astoria didn’t look up at him when she spoke. He could tell that the words had been carefully chosen in advance. Remembered and recited in front of a mirror. Yet she couldn’t meet his eyes. Draco noticed the way she plucked at the skin on her thumb.

When you’d ask him tomorrow for how long the conversation went on, he wouldn’t have an answer. Time seemed to stand still the moment Astoria opened her mouth for the first time.

“Say something,” she whispered when she finished, and the silence became unbearable.

Draco noticed that there wasn’t a fireplace. Another thing that the Room of Requirement had gotten wrong.

“Say something,” Astoria repeated herself, her voice shaking a little more this time.

Draco stopped the tapping. “Is that why?”, he finally asked.

She hesitated and then nodded. Draco sighed and looked out of the window.

“I’m sorry,” he said after a while.

Astoria scoffed. “Me too.”

“I am,” he looked back at her.

For the first time since he had entered the room, Astoria lifted her head. When her eyes met his, he saw the anger in them. “I’m dying and all you have to say is ‘Sorry’?”, she spat out.

“You don’t know that,” Draco said matter-of-factly.

Astoria raised her eyebrows. “What?”

“That you’re dying.”

She looked at him as if he was a little slow in his head. “I … I just told you.”

“You told me about the family curse,” Draco corrected her. “No one can say if it will happen to you.”

She let out a huff, stunned by his reaction. Had he not listened to a word she said? “I told you about the clairvoyant at Knockturn Alley!”

“Seers say a lot of shit.” He shrugged and added: “Especially when you pay them.”

Astoria lost her posture – with wide eyes and a shake of her head, she let herself slump back against the pillows. “I can’t believe you’re not taking me seriously.”

Draco sighed and began tapping on his thigh again. The same rhythm from before. “I am, Astoria. I believe you.”

But I don’t want to, he added in his mind. He had heard rumors of the Greengrass curse before – only once, when he was maybe eight or nine years old and while he pretended to be asleep on an armchair, he listened to his mother and her friend.

“The poor woman,” Narzissa had said. “And those girls …”

“We don’t know if it will happen to them,” her friend replied softly.

“Why risk it though?”, he remembered his mother ask. “And decide to give birth to not only one but two girls?”

“Well, if one dies, she will still have the other.”

Looking back, the joke was tasteless and not the least bit funny. He didn’t remember how his mother responded to it. Back then, Draco didn’t understand what the women were talking about. So he had shoved the memory back and forgot – until tonight.

When Astoria came up to him at the Winter Dance, she was more … vague. Talking about how something had changed in her life, how decisions were made for her and that she was left with no option but to finally confine in him. Merlin, Draco had thought she was pregnant. This was worse – for obvious reasons.

“If you believe me, why are you like this?”, her voice ripped him from his thoughts. Draco hadn’t notice that he was staring out of the window again.

He cleared his throat and focused back on the Slytherin girl. “I believe you’re overexaggerating.” It was the truth. Or better – it was a truth. The one he was able to share with her.

“I’m dying.”

“You’re not!”, he replied with a sharp voice.

Astoria flinched.

Draco sighed and leaned forward. “Look,” he continued, much softer now. “I’m sorry. You’re obviously very scared of this – and honestly, who wouldn’t be after receiving such news.” He paused. “But didn’t you just say you never experienced any symptoms?”

She looked to the ground. “Yes.”

“See?”, a smile played around the corners of his lips. “Stop beating yourself up about it.”

Astorias gaze stuck to the ground. His words didn’t ease her pain, he saw that. “I … Look at me, Draco,” she then mumbled.

Draco tilted his head. “I am.”

“No, truly look at me!” She lifted her head. “What do you see?”

He stared at her for a while. What do you want me to say? He refrained himself from asking that. Instead, for the first time in years, he truly looked at her. Her school uniform was in perfect condition, no spot or loose thread in sight. The diamond earrings sparkled in the soft light and around her neck hung a delicate golden necklace. Her outer appearance was perfect. As always. The only thing that was different were her eyes. He frowned when he saw it. The fire in them. Gone. The arrogant spark, challenging every Ravenclaw and Gryffindor that didn’t get out of her way fast enough. He wondered when it had left her.

“I resemble a corpse! I swear, my grandmother had a better complexion than me on the day she died!”, Astoria continued after another minute of silence.

Oh. Draco blinked. She meant that? He wouldn’t have noticed that in a hundred years.

“And I’m so thin and –”

“Because you’re starving yourself,” Draco interrupted her and immediately scolded himself for it.

Astoria, who was in the middle of shifting to a different position, stopped, and stared at him. “What?”

Draco pondered for a moment about his next words. Astoria and her fucked up relationship towards food wasn’t a secret. Well, not since fourth grade when rumors started spreading about the true reasons of why she was always so eager to get to the nearest bathroom after meals. And then her bones began to stick out underneath her school uniform. Everyone noticed it. Everyone looked the other way.  Problems like hers … they weren’t uncommon among their circles. Yet, they were problems to keep to behind closed doors. They were private. Nothing to talk about.

“Everyone needs an outlet for the stress that comes with living like we do,” his father had once said. “Women are just worse in finding the right one.”

Oh, how he hated his father.

Draco smiled sadly at Astoria. “Everybody knows, Astoria.”

“Knows what?”, she asked sharply.

“That you have issues with food.”

Astoria blinked. “I … you’re such an asshole,” she then exclaimed. “You’re an asshole, Draco Malfoy.”

Draco sighed and shifted positions. “Anyways,” he tried to change the subject. “You’re scared, I get it. But so far, you don’t have any symptoms. In fact, you started feeling ill once your mother went with you to see the seer, right? It frightened you and now you can’t stop focusing on that fear.”

Astoria scoffed. “Thanks, Mr. Therapist. You’ve got it all figured out, haven’t you?”

“No,” he shook his head. “I’m just guessing. It doesn’t make sense to care so much about something that might not even happen to you.”

“Doesn’t make sense to you, you mean”, Astoria corrected him.

Draco frowned.

“Because your problems are much more important.”

“My problems are real.”

That was probably the wrong thing to say in this situation. Even Draco realized that. The words had just slipped out. He hated to admit it but the egocentric, narcissistic part of himself believed them.

Astoria stood up abruptly. She smoothed over the fabric of her skirt and tucked a strand of hair that had fallen out of her bun behind her ear. She then looked at him, no expression on her face. When she spoke, her voice was calm and quiet: “Fuck you.”

With long steps Astoria made her way towards the door.

“Shit,” Draco mumbled under his breath and got up as well. “Astoria!”

She didn’t turn around.

“Astoria, wait! Please!”

The last word made her stop, hand already reaching for the doorknob. As she turned around, there was a bitter smile playing around her dark red lips. “Why?”, she asked him. “I trusted you with something and all you’re giving me is shit.”

Draco looked down to the ground and then back up. “I don’t know how to respond to this.”

“With empathy, Draco,” she folded her arms in front of her chest. “You might want to look that word up.”

Draco let out another deep sigh. A part of him secretly wished she would ignore him and just leave. It would be easier for him. Knowing this wasn’t an option for her, he finally walked towards Astoria. He pulled her into his arms and hugged her tightly. His words had failed him, they had made everything worse for her and he hoped from the bottom of his heart that this would ease her pain just a little. Astorias body went stiff at first – only after a few seconds did she let her body relax. She leaned into his embrace as if someone took a weight off her shoulders.

“You know I’m here for you,” Draco whispered. “And I will be there in case …”

“In case, I’m dying after all.”

When Draco breathed in, he could smell her lavender shampoo. “Yes.”

Suddenly, her petite body began to tremble. At first Draco mistook it for giggling, then he heard the soft whimpers against his shoulder.

“It’ll be fine. I promise.” He hugged her tighter.

“You can’t promise me that,” she sniffed.

Draco let go of her and took a step back. He put a hand to her cheek, making her look at him. “The curse hasn’t been around for decades. It might skip your generation again.”

Her eyes were red and her cheeks puffy, silent tears running down them. “I’m so scared.”

“I know.”

“Please marry me.”

Draco closed his eyes at her plea. His head suddenly hurt and he wished you were here. You’d know how to handle situations like this.

“Astoria …”

“I know you don’t love me,” she interrupted him, her voice still trembling. “You couldn’t.”

He opened his eyes, looking at her in confusion. “What do you mean?”

“You love her.”

Her. You. Draco blinked. “What? No, I –”

“I realized it on New Years Eve.” She wiped the tears from her cheek, still holding on to him with her other hand. Astoria cleared her throat. “I didn’t believe it in the beginning but … it’s so obvious. You love her so much, how could I ever expect you to look at me the same way you look at her?”

Draco shook her head. “Astoria –”

“But you know the relationship has no future. Neither of your families would ever agree to it. You know it. You know it in your heart.”

The piercing pain in his forehead grew stronger. When he’d remember this moment, Draco wouldn’t be able to describe his feelings. Her words barely managed to get through to him. You love her, he heard her say over and over again. You love her.

No. He didn’t love you.

He couldn’t.

“Marry me,” Astoria repeated herself and took a step closer again. She had to lift her head to look into his eyes. “My family will secure the future of the Malfoys.”

“I …”

You love her. You love her. You love her.

“What do you get out of it?”, he finally managed to get out and tried to focus back on her, feeling weirdly out of breath.

Another tear rolled down her cheek. No sobs this time. “Once people will be able to see the sickness …”, she hesitated. “I won’t be looked at as the second daughter who’s living in her sister’s shadows.”

You love her.

Draco furrowed his brows at her words, utterly irritated by them. “Nobody thinks that, Astoria.”

She laughed. “Yes, they do! Daphne has always been prettier, smarter, more desired. I can’t compete with her. I am the leftover Greengrass that no one wants and that’s now dying from a family curse. Because of fucking course it would hit me and not my picture perfect sister!”

Draco stared at Astoria.

“But with you,” she continued. “With you people would see that I’m more than that. That I’m worthy of attention and of love despite … being me.”

This is wrong on so many levels, he could hear your voice in his head, clear as day.

“Have you met with the therapist yet?”, Draco suddenly asked out of the blue.

“What?” The Slytherin was thrown off by his question. “Yes.”

“Did you talk to her about this?”

Hearing this made her drop his hands, taking a few steps back. She buried her face in her hands, taking a deep breath. “Oh, fuck you, Draco!”, Astoria muttered. “Stop trying to analyze me!”

“I’m not!”, he assured her. “But … Astoria, this is so fucked up what you just said to me.”

She looked back up at him. “You’re such a hypocrite.”

“Excuse me?”

She chuckled. “You spent a few months with a Gryffindor and now you act like our values mean nothing to you when you are the one who used to scream ‘mudblood’ the loudest.”

Draco swallowed.

“Merlin, what is wrong with me,” Astoria sighed. “After everything I just confessed, you don’t find it in you to show me a little mercy and change your mind?” She smiled at him sadly. “Do you want to marry me?”

“No.”

You love her.

 ***

The talk with Astoria left him feeling uneasy.

It handed after she asked Draco to marry her a second time and he declined. She nodded when she heard his answer, sniffled, wiped the remaining tears away and left. Not without saying “You’ll change your mind sooner or later”. When she was gone, she didn’t take the anxiety with her. Draco had to deal with that on his own. Now, as he walked through the halls of the old castle, his steps were stiff, and he had deep lines between his eyebrows.

“Calm down, she has no symptoms,” he mumbled to himself as he turned another corner.

Yet.

What if he would be wrong after all? What if the curse wouldn’t skip another generation of Greengrass women and fall upon her? What if she would die and he made her last remaining years even more miserable in her eyes because he turned down the proposal?

What if, what if, what if.

He wanted to talk to you about all of it. You’d tell him he didn’t have to feel bad. He didn’t owe Astoria. He shouldn’t be put in this position in the first place. You would find the right words. To be honest, Draco knew all of this himself. He just wanted to hear you say it out loud. Hear the words from another person to ensure that he was right. That he wasn’t crazy or selfish for not sacrificing his life, his future, for a dying girl.

“She’s not dying,” he reminded himself. A Hufflepuff boy passed him and frowned.

“My family will secure the future of the Malfoys.” It was the argument his mother had used against him countless times. He was certain that he’d hear it a lot more often soon. He was aware of how strong the argument truly was. His family could return to their former glory with all the luxury that came along with it. Fancy parties, status, high-paying careers – something he had been promised his whole life and that was stripped away the moment he was forced to become a Death Eater. The promise of a good life. An easy life.

Maybe life shouldn’t be easy for them. At least not so fast. Maybe his father shouldn’t come home from Azkaban one day to live like nothing ever happened. No, Lucius Malfoy deserved to suffer longer than his time in prison. And ultimately, so did his mother and Draco.

Draco gritted his teeth at his thoughts. He couldn’t marry Astoria. Not for that reason. Not to make the life of his family easier. His parents needed to work and plea for their redemption. Just like he did.

“Watch it, Malfoy!”, Seamus Finnigan hissed when he bumped into him. He came out of the library, a stack of books in his arms.

Draco didn’t look at him. Until now, he hadn’t even noticed that he was walking towards the library. It made sense though. The bag that hung from his shoulder seemed to become heavier with every step. The black notebook. He needed to write.

 ***

You sat alone on a table, hunched over a book. More of them piled up next to you, accompanied by an overused quill and bottle of ink.

Exams, Draco remembered. How easy it was to forget those mundane things in the midst of all the sadness. Exams, followed by entrance tests to become an Auror. Draco smiled at the thought of you fighting evil. He was certain that you’d excel at it.

He stopped in the middle of the corridor, not caring about the annoyed huffs and curses from students who almost ran into him. He watched you. The way you sometimes licked the tip of your finger before turning a page. How you sighed and frowned when you didn’t understand a passage.

You love her. The words shot through his mind.

It was different to the scenes he had read in books when he finally saw it. When he blinked and it was suddenly so clear to him. His heart didn’t stop, his knees didn’t become weak, he didn’t hear violins around him. No, a ray of sunlight that fell through the window and hit your face, caused you to lift your head. In that moment, your eyes found his. A smile played around your lips as you waved at him and pointed at the seat next to you. And it was so clear to him, that he wanted this all along: to be with you. To come home to you.

You love her, Astoria had said. 

And he knew she was right.

***

A/N: How did you like it?? I’m so excited to hear from you!! <33

CHAPTER 20

HP Masterlist General Masterlist

Tag List:  @writerdee1701, @youareinllve, @sjmahoney, @detroitobsessed, @takura-rin, @jadam268, @wynterwind,  @renaissance-confiance, @doitforthevine67, @ilovemollyweasley, @flowerpowerpixie, @gold-flowing, @starkssnarks, @bookcornerkins, @harpersmariano, @markedsweetly, @iraniq, @pointlesscoconut, @hvrcruxes, @pillowjj, @idkatee,    @magicwithaknife, @graystherapy, @scoote-rankle, @nxstalgicnxbxdy, @sunsetsofanemoia,  @tommy-holland, @lordfxxker, @streetfighterrichie, @awaken-the-sirens, @destiels-assbutt13, @pockitparks, @just-addicted-to-bangtan, @cuddlykoala101, @zpandaqueen ,  @natsiboo, @jjjmaybank, @justmesadgirl, @books-and-tings, @slytherinprincedracom , @katiaw2, @saintkore, @nctnight, @lifestragedy, @obxmxybxnk, @spideydobik , @ladylizzieofdarbyshire, @aspiring-ginger, @dracomalfoyswifey, @jpow345, @realistic-breadstick,  @abbs-is-tired, @alwaysbeanunknownfan, @niallsarmveinstho, @is-this-a-febreze-commercial, @acciowilltolive, , @sexytholland, @faangirl101, @donttellany1iusetumbler, @mendesmuffinsss, @lilxnvm, @kill-the-teen-memories, @darkusangelus, @itsbebeyyy, @hesaidimcrazy, @jenniweaslee, @hpxpjo, @brisbubble, @xomaymay, @shitnstuffillregret, @serialkillme, @angel-tears15, @panicattheeverywherekid, @obsssedwithjustaboutanything,  @nobleking, @tashii-blr, @ddaeing, @randogirlo-fando-main, @sadgirlnumber92899, @captivateing, @bitchyegirl, @smiithys, @ninipoo1, @intheawks,  @nothanksnyla, @calpal-4ever, @dracosathenaeum, @belsandthings, , @kiwi-sloan, @xdmx, @lexi-ravenclawdracomalfoy, @kvyenxay, @live-awkward, @babebenhardy, @bitchysweets-blog, @cravingmusic, @frau-moon, @ohissandhalasta,  @broken-but-beautiful-cassie, @lil-black-heart,  @vminenthusiastt, @dracos-sluts, @mrmoonyy, @saucysuazo, @fuzzzwald, @matsuno-nadeshiko, @amber-arsenault ,  @loveableasshole,  @spideycures, @echpr, @shiningstar-byulxx,  @twinklebug2282, @bloodiedroses, @klthmef, @ostorian ,  @bi-chai-tea, @maddieisnotok, @amandaluvssupernatural, @makeoutwithstiles,    @i-am-addicted-to-tea, @tenclouds, @lovingdracomalfoy, @lannaax, @dr-bitch-bby,  @fallinallinmendes, @suckerforparker, @runninglownad, @piercinghorizons, @dosicas, @yanaaaaaaa,  @akzer300500 @hoseokslily, @dracofeltonmalfoy, @emilianamason, @tothemoonwithclifford, @gcldreinhart ,  @angelofthorr, @k-k0129, @musicalmuffindog1410, @andydre4m, @mxl-foyrecs, @seeinorange, @vlgsqd , @justmimithings, @allthevoicesinmyhead, @pipppaaaaalouisee, @yessirrz, @2think2twice2 @spencerreidisbootiful, @find-a-little-faith, @thatguppienamedbae, @emmamarie7708, @dontpanicitsdan @jordaangx, @ceeellewrites, @drxcomvlfx, @7minutes-tomidnight, @coldheartedslytherin, @wingardiumdepressionosa, @perfect-storm95, @danisaur1324, @unlikely-y-bliss, @trentdijklfc66, @saptediavoli, @treestarrrrrrrr, @aangsupremacy @yaanasluv, @megamihatake, @lavenderblossom12, @bimbelle, @beiahadid, @weasleytwinswheezes, @bogikrmn, @gublerslut, @prongsandprancer, @superkawaiicandyfloss , @instantllamaruins​

If you want to be added to my tag list, let me know! <3

[script-nef]

So why won’t you realise it '^' | Gojou Satoru

Category: fluff

1.9k words; Movie date [2/6]

Spoilers of Howl’s Moving Castle!! Beware!!

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“Eh, Shouko! What do you mean you can’t make it?”

“I mean, another person is about to come in and they need me to heal them. By the time I’m done the movie will be finished.” Shouko’s voice over the phone is laced with annoyance and sadness coupled with lethargy. You don’t know how she pulls off such a unique combination of emotions but she somehow accomplishes it every time. “And I was looking forward to it…”

This would have been the first time you had a break with her since the trip to France. And while she enjoyed it a lot, the same couldn’t be said for the two males. Which was weird since Gojou is infatuated with sweets and Ken-chan agreed to come. So it was kind of weird when there was a tense atmosphere between them. You know your brother and Gojou are nearly polar opposites, but their animosity wasn’t usually that strong. 

They brushed it off as nothing when you asked if something was wrong, which was sort of dubious since you could kind of see the black cloud looming over the both of them, but you let it go. If it was something important, they would be able to handle it themselves or report it to you. You couldn’t sense any cursed spirits nearby so you guessed that they were just in a bad mood for some reason.

Still, you had a wonderful time and found some new snacks that everyone enjoyed. So a day well spent, all in all. 

And Ken-chan told you to tell him if Gojou ever offers overseas trips or anything similar, so he must have enjoyed it. Maybe you can ask Gojou to take all of you to Denmark one day.

“Ah… my dear Howl. Life and curses separate us again.” Her voice is full of sadness now, no doubt mourning over her chance of watching her favourite character on a huge screen with surround sound disappearing. 

“It’s okay! I’ll bring you the figurine and we can watch it again here in about… uh…”

“Ten years?” She sounds like she’s about to drop dead.

“Uh… yes… But maybe five years? Hopefully? You know, I shouldn’t watch it without you. I’ll come back to school.” 

“No, no. Watch the movie. At least you’ll get to see it. Ah, they’re coming now so I have to go.”

“Ah, okay. Bye, Shouko! Stay positive!”

A non-committal sigh accompanies a small “Bye” before the call clicks off. A frown takes over your face at the lost opportunity for her. She was looking forward to this for a long time and you leapt at the chance for another girls’ day out. Being able to watch a childhood favourite is an added bonus. But now you’re standing in the movie theatre, the ticket desk just across the room and an extra on your hand. 

It’s a shame because it cost quite a lot. Shouko is definitely going to mope about this when you get back and maybe start smoking again. She always has a pack on her even if she said she quit, and smokes one if she’s stressed or angry. You should call someone and make sure somebody takes it away from her.

You should probably hold onto the ticket and give it back. Or maybe that would make it worse for her, serving as a reminder of this day. Conflict rages inside your head. There’s a high possibility of either decision breaking her heart. Again. A buzz from your phone saves you the trouble of deciding.

Shouko: I sent someone as my replacement. 

A tap on the shoulder makes you turn as you type in a reply and you come face to face with a black jacket. Gojou’s head pops down.

“Hey there. I think you called for a replacement!” He seems to be in a ridiculously good mood, even more so than usual. Maybe his students successfully finished another mission. Which is great. It also means more paperwork for you. Which is not so great.

“How did you com—ah. Teleportation.”

“Ding ding ding! Correct!” He's been using the skill more frequently lately, popping in and out of places like one of those Whac-A-Mole games. . It gives you heart attacks all the time and you’re sure he gets a kick out of it. You saw how his smiles widen when you flinch or react. Thankfully it’s when you’re alone so other people never see you jump what feels like a metre into the air.

“Do you want popcorn?” He breaks you out of your thoughts. “I think they have the new caramel flavour. Apparently it’s way too sweet.” So perfect for Gojou. Even though he’s asking if you want it, there’s a spring in his step which definitely means he’s getting some. Probably the biggest option they have.

And you’re proven right because he comes back with two huge buckets which look impossible to finish. When you try to object, he cuts off with “I’ve eaten three buckets before. Alone.” With the smile he’s giving you, it really doesn’t sound like he’s joking. You try to take one to lighten the load but he says it’s alright. 

He signals the way to the theatre rooms with his head, walking beside you as you find your way.

“So what’s the movie?” Your head snaps to him in confusion.

“You don’t know?” A shake and a shrug. “It’s Howl’s Moving Castle. This was Shouko’s idea since she loves it and this year is Studio Ghibli’s 40 year anniversary. The cinema is having an exclusive showing of their movies this month. Only one session per movie, for some reason. Surely they would make more money if they played it over multiple days, but. I dunno. Executives make weird decisions.” A light scoff from him to tell he knows exactly what that’s like. His hatred for the higher-ups runs deep. You don’t push it.

“So she wanted to come but got held back at the last minute?”

“Yeah. Ah, here are our seats.”

You’re placed in the very middle of the room and you both make yourselves comfortable. Shouko went all out for this movie, upgrading the seats and making it a recliner. Your poor back, abused after sitting in chairs and hunched over computers for so long, practically melts into the plush cushion. It’s so comfortable that you might fall asleep in it if it isn’t Howl that’s about to start. 

Feet dangling in the air, you look over to Gojou to see him on his phone. It looks like he’s in a chatroom and you catch the words ‘Shouko’ and ‘favour’ before looking away. You didn’t mean to peek, but it’s not like you can consciously not read something. It was in your line of sight and you averted your eyes as soon as you realised what you were reading. Your brother brought you up better than to pry into other people’s businesses, even if it’s really, really tempting.

“Phones need to be placed on silent, you know.” The ads are coming on the screen. He smiles at you, slipping it into his pocket.

“Just talking to Shouko. She says she hasn’t even started properly.”

Disappointment fills you. Gojou is a good friend to watch this with but you hoped Shouko would somehow miraculously finish in time. She would be devastated.

“I’ll have to make this up to her when we get back. Give her the figurine and keep her hap—ah! I forgot! Gojou, I was supposed to ask someone to take her ciga—” He cuts you off with a light pat on your hand.  

“Don’t worry, I did it already. All of them are safe out of her reach and I gave her packets of hot chocolate instead. When we get back, she’ll have drunk at least half of them and be in a good mood.” What a Gojou-like replacement. He smiles like a child wanting pats on the head for a job well done. You just barely catch yourself from moving. 

Gojou gets a rep for being aloof and neglectful, but he does take care of the people he holds dear to him. His friends, members of the school, his students. You hope you’re included in the list. 

Actually, the more you think about it, the more you realise he’s different from initial perceptions. You learn more and more about him as time goes on, in the most delightful sense. He’s somewhat like an onion, new characteristics being revealed every time a layer is peeled. A snicker escapes at the thought of Gojou dressed up like an onion, just waddling around. He shoots you a questioning head tilt which you wave off.

In the years that you’ve known him, he made himself into a trustworthy friend. One full of laughs and ridiculousness. Maybe it’s his childishness that puts you at ease, but he’s incredibly comfortable and easy to relax around. Thoughts trail and the words fly out of your mouth before you even think.

“You know, I think you would make a wonderful boyfriend.”

He freezes completely, like somebody’s zapped him in place. You stare at him, wondering what’s wrong, but the lights dim and by the time he gathers coherence, your concentration is on the opening sequence.

“Ah, that was so good! Ugh, I love Howl. Isn’t he so cool?” You skip out of the room, remembering to take the figurines provided at the exit, with Gojou trailing behind you. “You know how she asks him to wait for her in the past? The first thing he says to her in the movie is ‘I’ve been looking everywhere for you.’ He searched for her the entire time! This is modern poetry. This.” 

“Do you think Howl would be a good boyfriend?” The question stops you. It’s different than usual for some reason, the voice asking the question and the intensity of it. He’s still his aloof self, all smiles and grins, but there’s something you can’t quite place that’s wrong. It’s unnerving, but you diligently answer his question.

“Um, I mean, yeah? Look at how cute he is with Sophie. See?” The figurine is a frozen shot of Howl and Sophie dancing in the rain with an umbrella that’s not being useful at all. They’re both incredibly detailed, so much so that you can see their clothes and skin drenching wet. Wow, this is actually a phenomenal job. Shouko will be so happy. It makes your heart lighter knowing that at least something might light up her day. 

“Why is he cool?” Gojou seems to be invested in Howl. It confuses you since he just watched the movie with you and he saw how awesome Howl is. 

“Hm, well for one he can do magic.” He opens his mouth but you shush him with a finger to his lips. “Yeah, I know, what we have is kind of like magic too. But theirs is just… different. He just makes it seem kind of elegant. And he overcame his fear just for Sophie. Remember the scene with Sulliman and in the cluttered bedroom? He still found the strength to protect her even though he was so scared before. It’s admirable. I guess I like strong guys.”

“Hmm~” His tone is contemplative. “You know I’m stronger than him, right?”

A question mark forms over your head. He’s being really weird today. “Yeah? You’re the strongest in the universe, silly. What’s up with you?” Gojou just chuckles and ruffles your head.

“Nothing, nothing. Just making sure you know.” He slings his arm around your shoulder, the intensity gone and the light spring in his step back. “Who else do you think is strong?”

Next chapter →

[harryskalechips]

Illicit affairs

A/N Hellooooo! I haven’t written in a while but enjoy this little sad piece inspired by Taylor Swift! Thank you for all the love! I hope you guys are doing well! Feel free to leave a kind message in my inbox ❤️

Y/N was a new intern at Colombia records when she met Harry Styles. Their relationship takes a turn however, when they start an affair.

Tw: Cheating

Thank you @harrysleftchelseaboot for letting me participate in your writing challenge! For any writers out there who want to give it a go make sure to check it out! I would love to read some new work. 

Prompts:

“Be a good girl and spread your legs for me.”

“I’d punch you, but that would ruin that pretty little face of yours.”

“I didn’t mean for this to happen.”

“Leave.”

Note: I do not condone cheating whatsoever! Please mind that this story is fictional! As much as it makes me sad to paint Harry as a cheater, it’s part of this storyline I thought of as I listened to Taylor’s album, Folklore.

Word count: 5k / Masterlist

Y/N never knew she was going to be in this type of predicament. Falling asleep every night in a man’s arms, only to wake up alone in her cold sheets at dawn. For some odd reason, his vanilla scent smothered her atmosphere every time, leaving her in a subspace-like condition. She found her thoughts easily shifting to him or feeling the need to touch him. She’s whipped but sadly also clingy. 

Does she have an excuse to feel this way? She was only 21 when she began working as an intern at this man’s record label. He was her first serious relationship and although he was married -there always seemed to be a weird tension between them.

It all started when she was assigned to follow Rob Stringer through his meetings in 2017...nonetheless she met Mr. Harry Styles. One of the members of the biggest boy band, One Direction. She knew exactly who he was, especially since he was sexualized by the media too often at an early stage of his career. She knew his first solo album was a hit and that in her job description, she had to be present at every interview he had. She also knew that the ring on his finger was a symbol of love for his wife that he married a year ago. 

Months on end, she barely spoke to him. She was shy -feeling as if her personality would bore Mr.Styles. One night however as the team went out to celebrate his last show for live on tour, he himself invited her. 

They were at a club in New York -A very private one to be exact when Harry found himself too interested in the quiet intern. To be honest, his life at home (when he was there) wasn’t what he planned for. His wife was too busy, only fighting him whenever he stepped foot inside. She barely had any more interests in his music or his life -and suddenly, it felt like two strangers living in that mansion. It wasn’t an excuse for him to keep glancing at the girl as she danced with her co-workers nor was it an excuse for him to buy her a drink. Funny enough, he always thought of himself as a hopeless romantic since he was waiting for that particular someone to love him back once again and save his marriage. But before he could stop himself, he was already walking towards the girls dancing on the floor and getting to know them.

After that night at the club, Y/N felt different towards Mr. Styles. Of course, she was still intimidated but she now knew him on a more personal level, leading her to call him Harry instead. That night as they sat in one the booth upstairs, she listened to his jokes and stories and it made her start to have a little crush on him. But hey, he was married and she would never want to ruin a relationship. 

As her days became busier at Columbia -sorting papers and running for Coffee, She always glanced at the elevator hoping Harry Styles would come out and was in need of a conversation with Rob in person. She knew he probably called her boss though the phone but her brain was rummaging for ideas why he would start appearing in her life once again. That was until one day she heard Gina and Louise in the staff room during break talking about Harry coming in tomorrow. Boy, did her heart began to beat fast. Maybe, it was manifestation but she was a bit too excited to see him again as it’s been a couple of months since she last saw him. 

~

“Y/N,” Rob calls out for her as he plays with a pen in his hand. “Meet me in the main conference room in five minutes. I need you to note down my meeting today.” He gives her a small smile and quickly walks off. She knew full well that this meeting was about Harry Styles. 

As she sat beside Rob at the long table, she realized that the whole table was filled with people from publicity and other departments. Right in front of her was the man she’s been thinking of, beside him was his manager. It’s not like she was deeply infatuated with him but she did love thinking about his pretty eyes. 

Matter of fact, as she first glanced at him, her eyes already met his. He was smiling and staying quiet as the meeting immediately began but his fingers played with his pen as he watched her. She was too focused on the shittier details of what they were discussing. He wanted to tell her so badly that she didn’t need to write some things down but he was having fun watching her bite her lip in stress. He wasn’t smooth though. Since she was already feeling his gaze burning through her. 

As the meeting went on, Harry became a bit more serious about why he came into the office. They were in the talks of his new second album and now, they had to plan publicity and tour. Some of the staff even asked how his trip to Japan was and although he was so excited to share his fantastic experiences, it was sad to mention how his wife didn’t even bother coming along. 

“Are you not going to say hi to me?” Harry teases Y/N as they’re the last ones to leave the conference room after their long meeting. She had to clean up the table while he chose to sit in his chair, pretending to do important things on his phone. When he waved bye to everyone as they left the room, he pointed at his phone, explaining he needed a few minutes to send “important emails” -he just wanted to catch up with his new friend, Y/N.

“Hi.” She tries her best to act normal and unaffected by his presence. “Sorry, I couldn’t say hi earlier. When Rob said five minutes, I didn’t know the meeting was already taking place.” Harry laughs at her apology since he wasn’t petty at all for her lack of greeting today. 

“I was just teasing. How are you?”

“I’ve been good.” She smiles back at him as she tosses the last remainder of paper cups in the bin. “I think the last time I saw you was last year. Where have you been?”

“Why did you miss me?” He raises his brow as he spins his chair a bit. He gives her a smirk as he watches her lean herself on the table. 

“Just a bit. I loved watching your interviews.” She rolls her eyes and crosses her arms against her chest. “At first I wanted to sleep through them but now I rather go through those back and forth instead of, filling random sheets out for Rob.”

“Heyy, I think I’m pretty interesting during interviews.”

“Oh no! Don’t get me wrong you are! It’s just you have such a raspy voice and you talk so slow! You can literally put me to bed anytime.”

“Am I talking slowly right now?”

“Just a bit. I haven’t seen you in a while. I kind of forgot!” She laughs. “ What else did you do other than Japan? Spent some time with your wife?” Y/N wasn’t going to lie… bringing up his wife kind of made her uncomfortable but she knew this was a good way to get to know him in a friendly way. 

Harry couldn’t help but give out a humourless scoff as he rests his head back on the chair. His eyes, however, meet her’s again. She couldn’t help but watch his adam’s apple bob up and down. 

“Marriage is hard you know. If I’m being honest with you, I haven’t spoken to her in a week. She’s been on vacation, travelling in Europe I think with her best friends.”

“She’s a model, right? She must have a lot of free time. I’m sure she can make space for you.” Harry slaps his knee in sarcastic humour as he shakes his head at Y/N’s innocent idea of who his wife truly is now. “I’m sorry. I guess it’s more complex than I thought. I haven’t really been in a relationship at least a long term one.”

“Are you free tonight?” Harry asks her out of the blue.

“Yes.” 

“Can I come over? We don’t need to do anything but I would love to hang out with you and I don’t know... forget I have all these responsibilities.”

“Sure.” What Y/N didn’t know that this night would forever change her relationship with Harry.

~

It was late in the night as Harry sat on Y/N’s couch talking to her about everything. His life, his career, his marriage. Usually, it wasn’t easy for him to open up so quickly to a stranger but for some odd feeling, his gut was telling him that he could trust this pretty girl beside him. It’s like he knew she was trustworthy and non-judgemental. 

Ever since he first noticed her during his meetings, he found himself involuntarily glancing at her. That was until he grew some balls and invited her to his after-party. Maybe, He did find her pretty and a bit too hot but even if his marriage is going through the rocks, he did not want to cheat. He didn’t want to be that type of guy. Yet during his time in Japan, he found himself thinking of what would happen if he was single right now? Would he actually make a move on her?

“What are you thinking of?” The same woman calls him out as she takes a swing of the wine bottle into her mouth. 

Yes, the found themselves enjoying Harry’s expensive red wine so now they’re passing the bottle. 

“You.” He was a bit tipsy and so was she but they were still sober enough to choose their words properly. 

“Me? Why me? Why not that hot model you call your wife.”

“She left my mind before I even met you.”

“Yet you’re still with her. Why?”

“I don’t know.” He looks at her as he takes a sip of wine. 

“Okay, so why are you thinking of me? Are you happy you have a new friend?” Her cheeks were very red at his confession but she was trying to make herself believe it was because of the alcohol. 

“I’m happy that I finally got to know the girl who sat quietly in the corner during my interviews.” He smirks at her as he watches her try to hide a smile. 

“I was intimidated by you!” 

“Why was that, love?” Y/N was not expecting him to call her that. She places the almost empty wine bottle on her coffee table and sits back in her same position as she’s wrapped in the same blanket Harry is.  

“You’re Harry Styles. Every woman is head over heels for you and Every man wants to be you.”

“Are you head over heels for me?” Harry squints his eyes as he says the first thing that comes out of his mouth. It wasn’t his intention to flirt with her but they both knew they had overpowering chemistry. The only thing holding them back is well… Harry’s marriage. 

“No.” She bluffs. He continues to look at her. “Fine, a bit but you’re married so I know how to control myself.” 

“What happens If I can’t?” his tone drops as he mumbles to himself. “I’m sorry what?” Y/N chokes as she looks at him. 

“I know I’m married fuck.” He sits up and rubs his face in frustration. “It’s just I never wanted a girl so bad after my marriage. I shouldn’t! I should be happily married but for some shit reason, I can’t get my mind off of you.”

“Harry, there’s consequences about what we’re talking about right now.” Y/N sits up as well as she watches him. Does it still count as cheating if his wife is barely in his life anymore? 

“I know. I’m sorry. I know you aren’t that type of girl. I would never disrespect you like this. I should leave.” He begins to stand up immediately. Y/N says nothing as she follows him to the front door of her apartment. 

“Thank you for coming, Harry.” She opens the door to let him out. He simply nods as he walks past her through the door. As she watches him walk down her hallway, she closes the door. How was she feeling? Well, she was trying her best to not feel regret but instead relief. She leans her body on the wooden surface, trying to make herself feel happy that nothing happened between them -Yet her heart was beating too fast for a guy she had just met.

The loud pounding on her door, however, makes her head shut up. She immediately opens it to find no one other than the curly-haired man who had just left her apartment a minute ago.

He immediately grasps her face into his hands as he kisses her eagerly, making her shut the door behind him. His body quickly pushing her’s against the wall, as his lips attack her jaw down to her neck. Her hands resting on his shoulders as she leans her head back to give him more area to leave his soft licks and kisses. 

“Shit Y/N. You’re making me go crazy.” 

“Harry.” She moans as he rubs himself against her centre. He whispers a command to her, making her jump and wrap her legs around his waist and he carries her to the first surface in his line of sight, which is her dining table. It was a dark wood wooden table that was meant only for eating purposes.

He helps her take off the sweater she was wearing as she throws it behind it her without a care. With her hand, she guides his mouth back to hers, making them both moan as this sexual tension is finally being relieved. Her nipples became hard in an instant as they felt the cold temperature. 

“Where’s your bedroom?” He pulls away as he’s unbuttoning his shirt. His mouth was open a little bit from their heated makeout and his lips were juicy pink after kissing her. He couldn’t take his eyes off her. 

“You want to fuck me right here?” Y/N blurts. She wasn’t the type to have sex with a new partner for the first time on her dining table but her room was a mess and she was a bit shy letting him in there. 

“Are you that eager baby?” A smirk plays on his lips as he tosses his shirt. “Well If you’re that needy, why won’t you take off my pants?” Y/N’s cheeks turn red as she reaches forward to unbuckle his jeans. “You know, how fucking long I’ve been jerking off with my right hand?” Harry asks as his hand runs through her soft hair, letting his thumb rub against her pink plump lips. 

“For a long time, Daddy?” She murmurs against the pad of his thumb as she lets his thumb enter her wet mouth. 

“Look at you, you’re a little devil.” Harry pushes his pants off until they reach mid-thigh. He quickly helps her out of her tights, pulling them off her almost instantly that she had to hold onto him. “Should I get a condom?” He pants as his hands involuntarily run themselves against her soft thighs.

“I’m on the pill and I’m clean.”

“I’m clean too.” He looks down at her closed legs as he pumps himself a bit. “I promise.” Y/N nods as her hands guide his body back closer towards her.

 “Be a good girl and spread your legs for me.” He whispers as he watches her show him her wet needy sex. “Fuck, you look so good right now.” He leans in to kiss her more. His mouth going south as they reach her breast. His mouth sucks on her nipple as the other grabs and rolls her the other one.

“Fuck stop teasing me. I need you.”

“Beg for me, Y/N. I know you want to.”

“Harry please!” She feels his hand directing his wet cock to her centre. Teasing her and playfully slapping her entrance. “Daddy!” His eyes immediately stop looking down as he grabs her hair, making her look at him. 

“You okay with this love? Do you like it rough?” Y/N nods her head as she stares into his eyes. 

“I need you to use your words, baby.”

“Yes, I want it rough.” 

“What did you call me earlier?” A cheeky smile forms on his face as he watches this little girl about to crumble in his hand. 

“Daddy.”

“You’re going to keep calling me that or what?”

“Only if you want me-” Harry inserts himself in her, making her choke on her sentence. 

“What do you call me?” He leans a bit further downs so their bodies rub against each other as his arm supports her back while the other hand chokes her neck. 

“Daddy! Fuck, I call you daddy!” 

“I know I’ve been deprived of some good sex but you feel so fucking tight! Do guys not know how to fuck you?”

“Only you can.” Harry pulls his hand away from her neck and instead grasps her face so she can watch their centres connecting. 

“You like that view? Is it turning you on? You’re fucking clenching me, baby!”

“Harder, daddy.” Her arm wraps around his shoulder as he pulls away and turns around, making her bend on the table.

“You want it harder baby? I’m going to fuck you so hard, you’ll never be able to sit at this table without remembering how I fucked you so good.”

~ The day after their first time sleeping with each other scared Y/N. As much as she tried to avoid letting Harry see her messy room, they ended up in there anyway. They participated in a couple more rounds and a deep conversation too until they fell asleep wrapped in each other’s arms. 

What Y/N was scared of was how Harry would react when he woke up in her sheets. Of course, they weren’t too drunk last night but the alcohol did give them a confidence boost. Now it’s the day time and they have to deal with this new boundary they had just crossed. 

“Good morning.” A raspy voice speaks up as she sets her head on her hand. Her elbow putting all its pressure on her pillow while she watches the man who’s laying on his stomach smile at her.

“Hi.” She gives a soft smile back. Harry immediately notices the hickeys on her neck, making him not guilty but a bit more proud.

“I marked you.” Y/N’s eyes widen as she sits up and wraps her hands around her neck. “Why you don’t like them?” Harry fixes his position too so he can rest his back against the headrest. He rubs his eyes for a few seconds before helping her straddle his waist. “What’s wrong, Baby?”

“You’re married.” Her finger mindlessly traces one of the sparrows on his chest. 

“I know.”

“You think she’ll get mad?”

“I don’t know. I don’t think she cares.”

~ Y/N and Harry’s affair went on for months that they even reached his tour and new album reveal. Although they never said the three most important words, Y/N already knew it was there.

What she loved the most these past months with Harry was their privacy.  The secret hookups in changing rooms, the knowing glances in a room full of strangers, and their affectionate touches when they had to pass things to one another in front of her boss. 

She knows he’s married and there was no doubt, they fought about his relationship status. But Harry explained that divorces in Hollywood were more complex than for a regular couple. And while Y/N pretended to understand, she truly didn’t. She didn’t understand why he had to keep up this act of being in a happy relationship when he can simply leave his wife -not for her benefit but for his own happiness. Still, every time this fight occurred, they chose to sweep it under the rug. Maybe it was because she wasn’t ready to lose him. He had always been so persistent on his reasoning why he’s been delaying that action. She was scared that he would leave her during another fight only to run back to his wife. What she didn’t know was that she may be a bit too right, after all, he wasn’t ready to admit that his marriage was over. 

“Hi, Baby!” Y/N opens her door to find her “boyfriend” with a bouquet of flowers. 

“Hi!” She wraps her arms around him in a hug as she lets him enter her apartment that they know too well. If she had to be truly honest... despite having so much alone time with Harry, she’s never been on a date with him but you know -that’s something she had to let go when she decided to get involved with a famous married man. Yet it still didn’t stop her heart from feeling envious when she would be in the restaurant with her friends watching a random couple have dinner together.

Harry takes his hood off and hands her the flowers. “I’m sorry I couldn’t text you this past couple of days. You know that woman who lives with me.” He sighs and gives her a kiss on the lips before continuing on, “We were having lunch together and she noticed I wasn’t wearing my ring anymore so we fought.”

“So you’re wearing it.” Y/N places the flowers on the table and crosses her arms.

“I have too.”

“No, you don’t Harry. She’s only wearing her’s for show. You’ve been cheating on her for seven months!” Y/N snaps at him. She hated it when he wore his ring. It was just a real sign that maybe he was lying to her during the times, he said he was over their marriage and he was going to leave her when things become less complicated.

“Baby, hey stop yelling.” He walks towards her so he can wrap his arms around her. “I’m sorry. You know I care so much about you. Please don’t cry.”

“I can’t stand that you’re married to another woman. Please leave her Harry.” Y/N pulls away as she holds onto his shoulders, begging him. “Please.”

“I’ll try.” He breathes out.

“You’ll try?” She pulls away immediately looking at him. “What do you mean? Have you not been trying to do that these past few months!” He rubs his face in frustration. 

“It’s hard Y/N. I told you countless times.” “I know it’s hard but what’s stopping you from doing it! You told me that you don’t want to lose me but for some odd reason, it seems like you don’t want to lose her!”

“She was my first love Goddammit!” He finally yells back at her. 

And that's the thing about illicit affairs

And clandestine meetings and stolen stares

They show their truth one single time

But they lie and they lie and they lie

A million little times

 They both found themselves caught off guard as the silence screamed in their ears. How could this safe space where they spent their nights rolling in the sheets feel so… indifferent? “Harry please be 100 percent honest with me.” Y/N backs away slowly as she reaches a few feet apart from Harry. “Do you want to leave her?” 

Silence.

“You told me you did? Did you change your mind?” Her eyes widen as she watches the man in front of her absolutely speechless. “I’d punch you, but that would ruin that pretty little face of yours.” She lets out a sarcastic laugh. 

“I didn’t mean for this to happen.”  He stares at the ground with his hands in his jeans. “Of course, I want to leave her! It’s just-”

“Leave.”

“What Baby no!” He quickly looks up and tries to make his way towards her. 

“Harry, stop. What we have is over! I’m not going to let you use me until your stupid sick marriage fixes itself!”

“Y/N that wasn’t my intention I swear! You know what marriage means to me! I can’t simply-”

“Fuck what you think of marriage! You don’t want to leave her but you rather continuously hide me while you go to awards with her -While you go on fucking dates with her!”

“It’s for publicity-”

“I don’t care!” She screams. “I realized that this isn’t working out and we should stop!” The pressure in her chest was making her hyperventilate. “We should have stopped months ago!”

“Fuck I don’t want to lose you, please. You’re the only thing that’s been making me so happy.” He reaches out to take her hands but she simply pulls away.

“Harry! Listen to yourself! You’re married! I’m starting to think you have a fear of having a failed marriage like your mom and dad! But please for the love of God, don’t drag me around because I won’t let you!” Harry’s faces change into anger as he gives her a cold look.

 “Well don’t drag my parents’ marriage into this! I told you that because I trusted you not so you can use it against me!”

“That’s not what I was trying to do!” Y/N pleads. “You won’t lever her Harry! You won’t!” 

“How do you think people will react!” He gestures with his hands. “ After three years of marriage, Harry Styles is getting divorced!” He mimics a random news reporter.

“So-” “I’m not going to let myself be categorized under Hollywood’s failed marriages!” “It was already failing before you met me! Can’t you see I just want you to be happy!”

“I am happy when you’re with me!”

“Well, I’m not!”

“You don’t mean that.” Harry scoffs as he runs his hand through his hair in frustration. 

“How can I not? I’m hearing stories every day about your fights at home. This isn’t even a relationship Harry! It’s an affair! An illicit one! And I-I’m a secret!”

“I don’t want to share you with the public! They will judge us and they’re going to ruin you as they ruined me!” He rambles on. “I’ve been stalked and judged for things I didn’t know matter!” 

“I would rather go through that with you -than to watch you from far away and only have you with me when we’re here inside this apartment.” She points at the floor. 

“I can’t Y/N. I can’t let that happen and I won’t.”

“Then this is over then.” She quickly wipes her tears as she notices Harry doing the same. The yelling seemed to die down as they finally realized that this problem they tried to ignore wasn’t going anywhere.

“You know… for some reason, you taught me a lot of things.” Harry clears his throat as he wipes his wet palms on his pants. “Despite only letting you have one half of me. You somehow took over my whole mind. God, I would love to fight for you Y/N.” He looks at her as he feels tears forming in his again. “I do - I truly would.” A pause happens before he continues, “ For you, I ‘d ruin myself a million times but I would never let you do the same.” He emphasizes to her. “ I don’t want to let you go but I know I should because even if I go get that divorce, I’d still want to keep you as my secret -and that’s not what you want.” 

“I-” Y/N stops herself. She wanted to tell him that she loves him but she knew it wouldn’t help them at all. “I’ll still see you for a while. After my internship though, I’ll be gone.”

“Do you think we’ll stay in touch.”

“I don’t think we should.” She blurts it out as her eyes glance at the fresh bouquet sitting on her table. 

“Alright. I guess that’s it.” Harry sniffles a bit before walking to the door. “I’ll see you.”

“Goodbye.”

And Y/N thought she wouldn’t have to see him again after her internship. Although her heart was broken, she found herself counting the days until she can find a new job. After their unexpected ending, she no longer found herself lonely in the mornings but during the nights too. 

The days he came by the office were more difficult than she thought. She would still feel his gaze on her during their meetings but he no longer greeted her nor gave her any attention. He would walk right past her desk when he visited the office but he would act as if he never knew her in the first place - Not a glance or a wave. 

And that was fine with Y/N, at least she tried her best to think it was. Until her meeting with Rob a week before Harry’s album release. 

~

“Y/N, I would love to offer you a job here at the company. I  will give you a position in Marketing for Harry Styles.” Rob hands her a manila folder across the table. “ You know a few months ago, he spoke about your hard work and how much potential you have and he’s right. This would look great on your resume and the pay will be better here than if you were to start off at another company.” 

Days of thinking and non-stop anxiety flooded Y/N’s mind. She knew her plan was to cut all ties with the pop star but the career that had just been handed to her had so much potential. Potentiality can help her with her student loans and give her a more comfortable life. She would be stupid if she passed the offer because of him. So with no more hesitation, she took her phone and called Rob.

“I’ll take the job offer.”

Part two here!!

[eeriefeelingsat3amuwu]

So, I was t h i n k i n g which, with my brain happens very often and I came up with a Kagehina balet au. Let it be known that I will probably never write this, because I have no idea how balet works, but the summary was approved by my friend @its-pronounced-quoassoint so here you go:

Kageyama is a pro balet dancer, he is damn DAMN good at what he does

Hinata, on the other hand, is very bad at it

Or so everyone thinks

Because in reality, he is just really bad at remembering choreographies because the child has ADHD and you expect him to look at a piece of paper where the steps are written and dance it perfectly? He is also a very lively person so he wants to add his own perks into the dances because he's legit bored if he's dancing to smth

But he is very good once you let him dance freely

And he is also very good at making choreogrphies, it's just that he is never able to write them down because he is dancing on instinct

And one day, after he fucks up another practice, he is staying in the studio late because he wants to dance for himself

Kageyama is also staying late too because c'mon, it's Kags and he like, tears his shoe or smth and needs to go to the seamstress workshop to get new ones and he sees Hinata dancing to himself and it's...beautiful

And Kageyama has seen him dance before, but only choreographies and he always seemed so bad with those

And so Kageyama stands in the doorway watching Hinata dance and then he comes up to him and asks him what the fuck was that

And that is how far I got, I just need balet Kagehina au and so this came to be

For the little details:

A little backround Tsukkiyama with Yama as a shy choreography creator and Tsukki as a techie and they have to talk to make sure tht Tsukki knows when and how to move the lights and when to draw curtains and also because Tsukki is a disaster gay boy and a tsundere and so he TELLS Yama they need to talk when in reality he just wants to talk to the cute choreography boy and Tsukki as Kags' friend and Yama as Hina's friend and all four of them screaming about their crushes

Yachi as a helping hand to the main seamstress Kiyoko and being totaly in love with her and Kiyoko used to be a dancer but then she got injured, not as bad that she can't dance, she just can't do it profesionaly and she loves balet and so she stays there as a seamstress

Suga as an instructor for smaller children in the balet school and Daichi, the instructor for Hinata's group of dancers is so in love with the silver haired guy that trains kids and he has no idea how to tell him and Suga being the one that actually aproaches him one day and asks if he would like to dance with him and afterwards he asks Daichi out because he saw the looksTM and yea

Ukai being the trainer of the profesional profesionals, Kageyama's group of dancers and being a disaster for Takeda, the guy without whom the balet studio would probably go bankrupt because he is the one who deals with sponsors and money and while he knows almost nothing about balet, he is still so passionate about the dancers and comes to all of their preformances and he even attends the pro practice and that makes Ukai incredibly flustered and one day, Takeda comes up to Ukai and congratulates him after one of the best preformances and he congratulates Ukai before any of the dancers and Ukai almost combusts and he kinda awkwardly asks him out

Okay, Iwaoi would be the second most important ship so here you go:

Oikawa is a pro dancer in the same group as Kageyama, but he is injured. Yes, the knee. And he can dance, it's actually pretty okay, but he can't do anything too tiring. I mean like, he can do pretty much anything, but Kags is Kags and he does some crazy shit like quadriple jumps and is just litteraly a stamina monster just like Hinata.

And Oikawa is S A L T Y because he wants to dance like that and while he's super good, he'll never be as good as Kageyama and it's just pissing him off.

Cue Iwaizumi, the worriedTM best friend who is coincidentaly also a dancer, but more around Hinata level. And he makes sure to attend his own practices and Oikawa's practices and make sure his best friend is not overworking himself and he's just extremely careful with Oikawa's health and makes him care for his own body and shit.

Iwaizumi is also madly in love with Oikawa, but he tries to hide it and care for him as a friend because he doesn't want him to hurt himself.

And Oikawa who's also in love with his best friend but thinks he's a burden to him and so he's scared to confess because he doesn't want to ruin Iwaizumi's life.

And one night they finish up some extra training and they sit down against the wall and Oikawa leans against Iwa and then he's just kinda 'fuck' and then he excuses himself, says he forgot his bottle somewhere and that Iwa should just go home and then he leaves into the storage and he has a breakdown about how he's a burden and how he'd ruin Iwa's life if he confessed and how Iwa would probably think he's disgusting and Iwa followed him there because his water bottle was right next to him and he sees him having a mental breakdown and he helps him through it and then tells him he's not a burden to him and that he's in love with him and he doesn't think he's disgusting for being in love with him and that he would love to go out with him

TL:DR- I came up with a Kagehina balet au but have probably made it into an Iwaoi hurt/comfort because I’m that good

@definietlynotsatan @chaotic-multi-fandom @conflictedrider

[dizzydancingdreamer]

Men who I think would be soft for their baby for no other reasons than because I want them to be, in no particular order but still numbered ten to one because I like countdowns...

———————————————————

I really do be out here exposing myself for a few of these men but I don’t care I don’t need “proof” or “common sense” or “just plain survival instincts” I just need men who are uncharacteristically soft for their babies

———————————————————

Don’t come at me this is for FUN

———————————————————

Part two

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10. Gally

Did some bad things, some were his fault and some weren’t, who is rough around the edges, has superiority issues, and needs a therapist more than a girl

STILL SOFT FOR HIS BABY

Higher up in a revolutionary movement and still goes to bed early to cuddle his baby

She sits on his lap during meals and he fights everyone who says anything

Fights anyone who even looks at her wrong 

Tells her he loves her at least three times before he leaves on missions without her

When she goes with him he’s literally next to her the entire time

Does not let her go for hours when they finally get back to base  

So fucking soft for her and only her

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9. Finnick Odair

Good guy who feels like he has to be bad in order to stay alive but falls a little bit in love with it for a little too long

Begged her to move in with him after his games

Let her decorate the entire house however she wanted 

Writes her love notes before every time he goes to the capital 

Cries to her when he comes home every single time 

When she has to go into the games he volunteers immediately even though he technically isn’t allowed and pulls strings with President Snow to be able to fight 

So he literally kills for her 

And makes sure she never has to fight 

Marries her and tells Coin he won’t fight, stays alive for his baby

10/10 soft as fuck

——————————————————————————

8. Stephen Strange

Narcissistic doctor Avenger who uses the phone while driving

This is the one I have the least proof for but I’m 110% sure when he isn’t wearing the cape he has his baby wrapped around him like a backpack

Crumbles for his baby, I’m talking to his knees, overwhelmed by how pretty and beautiful and wonderful she is, hugging her around the waist

Loves the feeling of her fingers through his hair 

Brings her to every Avengers Gala and practically begs her to leave early so they can go cuddle and eat pizza

Gets so scared whenever he has to do something dangerous

Drops what he’s doing when she calls him, has told off Steve and Tony (don’t start with me) and everyone else 

Peter called him a simp once and after he googled it he looked him dead in the eyes and agreed and then packaged one of the donuts Bucky brought in for his baby and then took it and left

Man is SOFT

——————————————————————————

7. Vincent Griffith

Reformed witch who frequently gets addicted to dark sacrificial magic and makes choices that are just this side of morally corrupt

Has skipped so many meetings as regent that he probably shouldn’t even be regent anymore 

The king of date night, dancing, fine dining, jazz music, picnics, midnight rituals

Plans every little detail and gets Josh and Davina to help him 

Uses magic to close down entire restaurants for the perfect night

Always holds her hand and sits her in the front row of his coven meetings and pauses the meetings accidentally when he glances over to her and she gives him a thumbs up and he has to literally stop and smile 

Holds her purse without her having to ask, will go to seven different restaurants when she changes her mind on where to eat, hexes people who harm her

Big softie

——————————————————————————

6. Indiana Jones

Literally a womanizing grave robber with very few morals 

Has filled museums with all the things he has STOLEN 

Would still protect his baby from booby traps though

Dresses her up and takes her out everywhere

Cancels class whenever she asks and more often than not when she doesn’t

Would be closer to the snakes so that she won’t have to be

Wouldn’t even think about yelling even when in mortal danger, even when it’s her fault for putting them in that situation 

Answers every question even though she’s asked the same question a thousand times 

Can’t sleep without her at all 

I’m not sorry, he’s soft

——————————————————————————

5. Will Turner

Most feared and ruthless pirate on the sea

Torched a town once because his baby was treated a little too cold by a few too many people

Literally would and has fought a life altering curse for her and won

Kills so many people and still goes to bed early to cuddle in the captain’s quarters

Lets her walk all over the ship in his shirt and watches from behind the wheel, has thrown a man or two overboard when they stare too long

She didn’t even notice

Plays with her on the beach whenever she wants even if it hinders the plans of the crew

Softie alert

——————————————————————————

4. Elijah Mikaelson

A one thousand year old+ elitist vampire with slight anger issues who has zero reason to fall in love with a plain mortal woman 

But there is no way that is going to stop me

Would rip literal hearts out for his baby until he is soaked with blood

Oh, she stubbed her toe at the bar? 

The bar is now torched to the ground along with everyone inside

It’s for his baby

Rebuilds the bar for her, puts it in her name, now it’s her bar and she’s making a shit ton of money

Buys her so many things, even when she says no, especially when she says no

All she has to do is pout and it’s game over 

Has left so many business meetings for her that it is insane

Once bought her a chair seat at Disney because she said she liked Tangled one time and now she makes important decisions she is not qualified to make 

He’s soft, soft, soft

——————————————————————————

3. Eric Coulter

A leader of a terrorist radical government who has outright anger issues and hates people who are different from him

BUUUUUT wouldn’t yell at his baby who is probably from Amity and probably got tricked into being in Dauntless

Lets her sleep in his room because fuck the training quarters that’s sus as hell (even though he’s the one who arranged the training quarters)

Lets her skip all the fighting and does not give a fuck when he gets called out for it, will literally abuse all special privileges 

Would probably do the training simulation for her and tell her how to beat it 

Trails behind her wherever she goes, holds her hand in the cafeteria, has her on his lap when he gets tattoos

Lets her visit home whenever she wants and threatens anyone who says other wise 

HE’S SOFT I JUST KNOW IT OKAY

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2. Kylo Ren

Kinda evil Supreme leader of the galaxy who has killed many people, including his dad, some who deserved it and some who did not

But wouldn’t even yell at his baby-- would cry if she cried

She sleeps in his bed and when Hux calls him out on it he breaks a desk and then almost kills him

She walks around the ship and he follows her like a puppy and chokes people out when he hears them call him a puppy in their heads

Gives her everything she wants and more, surprises her all the time

Surprise trips to beach planets and fancy events 

Once he gave her a whole ass planet

Always hugging her no matter who is around and what is going on, 

The softest supreme leader in the galaxy

——————————————————————————

1. Thomas Shelby

A literal deadly mob boss who shoots first and asks questions never

Would 110% kill for his lady (and has killed for his lady)

Sexy as fuck, looks good covered head to toe in blood 

Yes, that deserved a point

Soft as fuck for his baby, would shoot a gun and then turn around and listen to her talk about what she wants to knit for their baby

Has paused important mob meetings because his baby wanted to gossip about what Dolly said to her at church four Sundays ago that she forgot to tell him

Keeps her as far removed from the lifestyle as possible even when that means he has to remove himself from it at points to be with her

Has skipped so many poker games without being asked purely because he wants to go home and hug his wife

He is the MOST SOFT

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[masterjedilenawrites]

Blueberries and Cowboys: Chapter 4 (Cowboy Path)

A choose-your-own-adventure style fic. Refer to this Masterlist for previous chapters and alternate paths.

Chapter 4: The Party (Cowboy Path)

Pairing: Eli x reader

Content: Drinking, some angsty pining

Length: 2.4k

AO3 Link (In case you like it better over there, it’s okay, no judgement)

The gala was as elaborate and ostentatious as you would expect of a formal event at the Imperial academy. It was like the whole ballroom shimmered as glasses of drinks were passed around and ornate dresses swished about in dance. You'd certainly never been a part of anything so grand from your home world before.

The sight made you pause as soon as you entered through the doors. It was breathtaking.

You let Thrawn guide you around the ballroom, barely registering his path as you took in all the shiny and expensive details around you. You were especially enchanted by the handful of couples circling around the dance floor, seemingly floating along with the music. You hadn't danced in so long... properly, anyway. Shimmying around your room in your underwear after a shower did not count.

"The music is quite pleasant," said Thrawn from beside you. For a moment, you forgot that part of the plan for the night was to substitute the names of your targets for other subjects, so any potential eavesdroppers would be none the wiser to your true intentions. Anything related to music was supposed to symbolize one half of the plan: Eva and Arden. But because you were so caught up in the spectacle around you, and your inner longing to genuinely engage with it all, you didn't immediately pick up on Thrawn's true meaning.

"It is," you said with just a hint of wistfulness. Your eyes happened to be watching one of the more gracefully dancing couples, the only signal to Thrawn that he needed to help you refocus.

He cleared his throat just loud enough to get your attention and then flicked his eyes toward the entrance of the ballroom meaningfully. You followed his gaze to see Eva and Arden had now arrived. Eli would be keeping an eye on them, while you and Thrawn would track Burdick. Your heart sunk as you were reminded, yet again, that you were not here for a good time. Tonight was about Thrawn's mission.

"Do you think Eli has noticed? The music?" you quickly supplied, hoping Thrawn wouldn't doubt your support.

"Yes, he seems to be enjoying it." Thrawn then looked to a different part of the room, where Eli was standing next to his date. Sadie. She was a tiny thing, with perfect proportions and well-styled hair and wearing a dress that left nothing to the imagination. You suddenly realized who she was, not having connected the dots before. She was in a few of your combat classes and had this weird habit of pumping her fist in victory every time she landed a good hit. You and Eli had made fun of her together. Why was he now going out with her?

"Yeah, he does..." you said absentmindedly as you watched your friend. Eli was making a show of casually looking around while really paying extra attention toward the couple by the entrance. But then Sadie linked her arm in his and looked up at him with a sweet smile, and he returned the gesture with a smile of his own. Your previous feelings of awe and fascination over this event were quickly turning into something much more sour.

"Did you also notice we have an assignment due soon?"

The comment from Thrawn made you blink away from the troubling scene in front of you. The Chiss had not been watching Eli, actually sticking to the plan and scanning the crowd for the other person of interest. Commander Burdick, who would be referred to by discussions of homework, another innocent topic. Thrawn had finally spotted him over by an hors d'oeuvre table.

"Thanks for the reminder," you muttered. A tray of drinks passed by, held aloft by a protocol droid, and you took the opportunity to swipe at one and down its contents in one go. You could see Thrawn eyeing you curiously from your peripheral, but you made it a point to not look back.

"Perhaps we should stand out of the way," said Thrawn, taking hold of your elbow and guiding you through the crowd and over to an area where several tall cocktail tables were set up. You set your empty glass on the surface of one of them and leaned restlessly against it. Your eyes kept wandering toward the commander as he munched furiously on some kind of cubed meat, glowering at all who passed by. Eventually you'd have to help make sure he was glowering at Arden long enough to maybe get some ideas, but right now, with the night only just beginning, there didn't seem to be much need for you to linger.

"This is a fun song. Maybe we could dance for a bit? Pass the time?" you asked, swirling your empty glass around in a bored manner.

Thrawn stared at you for a moment, most likely trying to determine if you were using the special code that you were supposed to or if you were actually talking about music and dancing.

"I think we should discuss the assignment that is due," he said, almost in a reprimanding tone. "It is rather important."

You swiped at another tray of drinks passing by, muttering over the rim of the glass, "Who goes to a party to talk about homework?"

You were being salty; you knew that. This mission was important and you cared about it. You cared about your friends and what this meant for them. But it seemed the more alcohol you took in, the more annoyed you grew toward those friends. Thrawn was such a stick in the mud, and Eli was apparently a big flirt. Was this really the best way to fix their problem? Was it really worth missing out on a fun evening?

Thrawn didn't seem too pleased as you downed your second drink in a matter of minutes. He cleared his throat in that way he did when he was about to lecture you. You cut him off before he got the chance.

"So what was that surprise you were talking about earlier?"

He blinked at you. "I never mentioned a surprise."

"Yeah. You said you didn't disappear, you were working on something, and that I'd see soon enough. Well? What should I be seeing?"

He reached across the table and gingerly took your empty glass from you with a frown. "You hadn't noticed? There is only one assignment."

It was your turn to blink at him. He sighed and jerked his head to where Burdick was still standing.

"I made sure his date would be delayed in arriving," he said very quietly; you almost couldn't hear him above the din of the party. "So he wouldn't be distracted."

You looked over at the Commander, not very subtle in your observation of him, so it was no surprise the man noticed your staring and frowned even more deeply.

The sound of your name caused you to snap back to Thrawn, who was circling the table to lean in closer. He seemed upset; or, as upset as Thrawn could ever seem through his calmness.

"If you have other things you wish to be doing, I would much rather you leave for them, instead of staying and causing problems." His voice was low in your ear. You sighed at his words, feeling bad for how you'd been behaving.

Just a little bit.

"Well, if it isn't my favorite student," came the voice of Commander Burdick. The man had apparently decided to come over after discovering you'd been staring at him, however, he was very clearly addressing Thrawn and not you. "I'm surprised you'd even come to an event like this."

"The Academy has provided a generous occasion tonight," Thrawn slipped out of his scolding of you and into his usual demeanor without missing a beat. "It would have been in bad taste for us to not attend."

Though it had been your staring that'd called him over, it was only when Thrawn referred to you collectively that Burdick finally acknowledged you. He gave a grunt as a sort of laugh.

"What about that scruffy little friend of yours? He doesn't care about taste?"

"Eli's here..." you heard yourself saying. You also felt Thrawn tensing beside you. You tried to give him a reassuring look as you turned to point out your friend behind you, moving about on the dance floor with Sadie. And just beside them was Eva and Arden, as you knew they would be. The two couples seemed to be trying to one-up each other with their dance moves. You quickly turned away so you wouldn't have to register how exciting and intimate it all was.

"So I see," Burdick hummed. You couldn't tell if he still had the same frown from before, or if it was a new one in response to seeing his ex with a student. "You're not a dancer, Thrawn?"

"Only when the mood strikes, sir."

"Well if you don't show your woman a good time, someone else will." Burdick took a step forward and held out a hand toward you. Your eyes grew wide, panicking. That was certainly unexpected.

Thrawn quickly, and smoothly, jumped to your defense.

"Sir, I'm afraid she is not feeling well. I have simply been keeping her company."

Burdick looked between the two of you, and then briefly beyond at the dance floor, before giving an odd smirk and retreating.

"Very well. Enjoy your... company."

The Commander turned on his heel and disappeared into the crowd. As you watched the back of his head, you couldn't help but wish you hadn't frozen and had accept his offer to dance. It was probably going to be the only offer you got all night.

"What... were... you... thinking..."

You looked over at Thrawn, surprised he was still upset. He was pinching the bridge of his nose and scrunching his eyes.

"Huh? I made sure he noticed Eva," you defended yourself. "He asked me to dance, probably to make her jealous, but since that's not happening, he'll be able to focus his revenge on Arden now."

"That is quite the assumption, based on absolutely no evidence."

"There is too evidence--"

"And apparently we've abandoned all secrecy and discretion, too. Might as well announce what we're planning to the whole ballroom while we're at it."

Thrawn's piercing eyes looked down on you, looking more like fire than they ever did. You bowed your head for a few seconds, needing to escape the heat and cool down.

"I'm sorry," you said, finally looking back at him. "I didn't mean to... mess up on the homework."

You offered what you hoped was an endearing smile. Thrawn only left you hanging for a second before he relaxed just a little.

"You did not mess up," he stated, returning to his side of the table and finally taking up the drink still left sitting there. "But perhaps you should just observe for the rest of the night."

And observe you did. The rest of the evening seemed to both pass by in a shimmering blur, and crawl forward at an unbearable pace. You observed couples dancing, laughing, even kissing. You observed how the energy of the ballroom shifted from eager liveliness to unhurried intimacy as time drew on. You observed the hors d'oeuvres dwindle and the champagne lose its bubbles and the lights dim ever-so-subtly.

Occasionally you actually observed the "homework," whenever he happened to pop out from the crowd. Thrawn did most of the note-taking, pointing out under muttered breath how the commander was still fixating on his ex, how his frown seemed to change from grumpiness and anger to determination and craftiness. Whatever that meant. You couldn't ever pretend to notice half the signs Thrawn did.

But most importantly, you observed a certain shaggy-haired boy from Wild Space.....

The way he danced, somewhat stiffly, but not as clumsy or awkward as one might expect from someone who couldn't figure out a tie.

The way he seemed to so effortlessly keep an eye on his despised classmate while still paying attention to his date and all her friends.

The way he casually hung out with her friends in between dances, as if he'd always been a part of their group.

The way he held her.

The way he looked at her.

At some point, you'd finished off your fifth glass of champagne, and you were definitely feeling the effects of it. That was what you were feeling, you told yourself. Your stomach was in knots and your brow was feeling warm and your heart was beating in your ears, all because of the alcohol. It didn't have anything to do with your guilt from upsetting Thrawn earlier, or the fact that even though Eli had nodded your way a few times in acknowledgement, he hadn't once come over to make good on his promise to save a dance for you. Nope. It was the alcohol and nothing else.

"Thrawn," you said quietly, breaking the Chiss's concentration on something-or-other across the way. "Do you mind if I call it a night? I'm pretty tired."

His eyes flickered over at the amount of empty glasses you had collected beside you, but he didn't comment on it. Only nodded in understanding and returned back to his mission.

You sighed as you picked your way through the crowd that remained. Quite a few students and teachers had already left for the night, but plenty still remained, and it baffled you just how many were hoping - and fighting - to earn to a place in the Empire.

And then something caught your eye just as you made to push through the doors and out into the night. One last thing to observe.

Eli and Sadie were swaying to the slow song playing, just off the actual dance floor. It was like they were in their own world. Her hands rested against his chest, and his chin laid atop her head, and they turned in slow circles as they rocked back and forth, holding each other close. When Eli's face finally turned toward your view, you swore your insides were threatening to crawl up your throat and spill out all over the shiny floor.

His face was relaxed, content. His lips were turned upward in a pleased sort of smile you'd only seen a few times on him before, usually after he'd told you a nice childhood memory, or after he finished a hearty meal. This wasn't an act; this had nothing to do with the mission or your purpose here at this dance. He was happy, holding her.

Just as his eyes wandered from whatever peaceful place they'd been resting and locked onto yours, you finally pushed through the door and left.

[igotbulletproof-insomnia]

Adopting Bangtan 06

01, 02, 03, 04, 05

Park Jimin & Kim Taehyung, age 8

Song Jieun is your favorite secretary at the school you work at. She’s like some coffee fairy the way she seems to magically know exactly when you need a fresh cup and you only needed to tell her how you liked it exactly one time. She is also endearingly sweet and hardworking, even if she has a penchant for losing things easily. It’s for that very reason why you are rarely surprised when Jieun approaches your desk in the staff room, like she does now, wearing a sheepish smile.

“What did you lose this time?” you question teasingly.

“I… may have misplaced a few copies of the kids’ grade reports…” she winces at the admission. “I think I threw them away by accident. I spent some time clearing out my things yesterday.”

“That’s right, my coffee fairy is moving to Gwangju,” your face twitches into a brief, playful pout. “How are the boys dealing with the change?”

“They’re fine,” she says quickly. “I’m a bit worried, but they’ll be okay, I’m sure.”

“Why, what’s wrong?” you ask, beginning to sign the small stack of papers. You flip the bottom half of the sheets up just enough to see the line at the bottom that you need to sign. You read them all just a few days ago, there’s no need to do it again.

“My fiance has been hinting that he doesn’t want to raise any step-children,” she explains, her voice tense with worry. “He’s especially concerned about my step-son from my last marriage… Heesung wants me to leave them in a boarding school here in Seoul. He’ll pay for their tuition but… I don’t really feel comfortable. They’re so young... I just don’t want him to leave me this close to the wedding.”

“He’s an idiot if he wants to leave you for being a good mother,” you tell Jieun firmly, but gently. “But I guess I understand the concern. I know you’ll do what’s best for the kids, you’re a good woman like that.” You pause, then flash another teasing smile. “I mean, you could just give them to me. I’m apparently running an orphanage at home.”

“Your boys are still bringing home strays?”

“I think I’ve gotten them to understand that they can’t bring home every sad kid and expect me to keep them. They usually have to go home eventually.” You finish signing the last of the forms.

“They have big hearts, I’m sure they learned that from you.”

“Yes, I taught them how to love,” you scoff indignantly. “If only they would learn to pee in the toilet, I might be a little nicer.”

“You love them,”

“Yes, I really do.”

Saturday evenings are chaotic.

As the parent of four preteen boys (and one first grader), almost everyday is chaotic. There is homework and music and video games and dance practice and guitar playing and piano lessons and why are all of these kids so dramatic, you didn’t raise them like this!

“Yah, I have three years more experience than you, how are you going to tell me --”

“Hyung, the answer is literally right there,” Namjoon sniggered, pointing.

“Listen, you brat --”

“The only brat I see here is you, Seokjin,” you sigh, breezing into the kitchen. Seokjin and Namjoon are perched on stools at the kitchen island, occupied with their homework. They were both clever kids, but Seokjin tended to get frustrated easily, and Namjoon was too quick for his own good. The two fought a lot, but they also depended on one another a lot; Namjoon would help Seokjin with the parts of his homework that became too frustrating and Seokjin would fluster Namjoon to the point where the kid acted his own age. “The others finished already?”

“Yoongi decided to stay at school and work with his friends,” Seokjin answers. “Hoseokie is playing with Kookie in their room. I think they’re building.”

“Okay, good,” you nod, “but that doesn’t explain why the TV is blasting Epik High.” Seokjin doesn’t bother verbalizing an answer, just turns to pointedly stare at Namjoon.

“They make good music!”

“And I am not arguing that point,” you agree. “I’m just saying that I could hear Mithra all the way down the hall before I even got to our floor.”

“That’s impossible, the volume isn’t that loud.”

“Namjoon,” Hoseok comes running into the kitchen. “You need to turn the music down our --” Hoseok stops in his tracks, almost slipping on the kitchen tile. “Oh, hi!”

“What were you saying, Hoseok-ah?”

“Um… I got a text, Joonie. Turn the music down.”

“Uh-huh, and how long ago did I send that text?”

“Uhm… about seven minutes ago?”

“And where, Namjoon, would I have been seven minutes ago?”

“Downstairs…” Namjoon suddenly finds the kitchen lights very interesting, the expression on his face imitating innocence.

“Uh-huh. Go fix it, please,” you roll your eyes. “This is the second time I’ve had to talk to you about your music being too loud. If it happens again I’ll be a week late paying for your subscription.” The fact that it had only been a guess that Namjoon had been blasting his music again was going to go completely unmentioned.

“Got it, won’t happen again,” he calls over his shoulder.

“Hoseok-ah,” you address the kid sneaking out of the kitchen. Your tone implies he’s in trouble and he stiffens. You can practically hear him thinking, wondering which of his shenanigans you may have found out about and which ones would have actually gotten him into trouble. Hoseok is a bit of a wild child when he gets into the right mood, but for the most part he’s actually the easiest one to take care of. They’re all relatively easy and well-mannered children, but they all have their bouts of difficulty. “Please try to deliver my messages promptly, not ten minutes later.” You let the scolding settle before adding, “Also, it’s your turn to choose dinner.” The face Hoseok makes in response, the sheepish, oh, right, I forgot, grin is adorable and you can’t help but smile in response.

“Can we get takeout?”

“Depends where from,” you reply as the doorbell rings.

“Can we please not do Jiwon-ssi’s dumplings again? I’m going to be sick,” Seokjin whines.

“Jiwon-ssi makes the best kimchi!”

You leave the boys to argue in the kitchen while you go answer the doorbell, which rings for the second time. Whoever is at the door is awfully impatient, you think, either that or just obnoxious. The apartment isn’t that big, although it is the biggest one you could find on your budget. Three bedrooms, one toilet, a balcony, kitchen, and living room. Yoongi and Seokjin share one room together with Jungkook while Namjoon and Hoseok share another. The space was a bit cramped, but It isn’t the one bedroom apartment you had when you adopted Namjoon, and it isn’t the two bedroom apartment from when you adopted Seokjin and then Hoseok a few months ago. It’s comfortable, and that’s what’s important.

“Seokjin,” you call while walking to the door, “it’s Hoseokie’s choice. Hoseokie, if Jiwon starts flirting with me again, I will hide your lucky sweatpants in some place you will never find them again.”

You open the door, Hoseok’s indignant spluttering and Namjoon’s cackling behind you. It’s a sort of chaos you’ve grown accustomed to, and it fills you with a warm feeling in your heart. You love these boys and are so happy to have met them and received the chance to raise them.

There are two more kids on the other side of the door.

“Um. Hi.”

“Hello!” One of the boys greet and they both bow to you. You blink at them. They’re cute, but you don’t exactly understand why they’re asking for you. “Thank you for taking us in!”

“What?”

“What?”

“Huh?”

“You said you can’t adopt more!”

“I… don’t…” you trail off, lost and confused. “What?”

“Mommy said me and Jiminie can live with you when she gets married,” the same boy who spoke earlier explained. His face is rather round, dark eyes framed with thick eyelashes. The other one is paler, features softer, prettier. “She said to give you this.” He holds out a piece of paper, one detailing the transferring of parental rights from Song Jieun to yourself. With your signature at the bottom.

“You’re Song Jieun’s kids?” you ask them, just to be sure. Both boys nod.

“Mommy also wanted me to give you…” the same boy starts searching through his pockets, mumbling to himself that I know I had it somewhere… I had it when we left… did I lose it on the bus? Eventually, the smaller one taps his brother on the shoulder and points to the front pocket of his bookbag. “Oh right! Thanks! Here.” the kid thrusts yet another piece of paper at you, this one a handwritten note written on good cardstock.

“Saem,” Seokjin speaks from just behind your shoulder now, “did you seriously fall for the same trick twice?”

“What trick?” You ask absentmindedly, reading the heartfelt apology. Apparently, that day when you signed those grade reports, Jieun slipped in a guardianship form and you unwittingly signed it.

“I gave you a bunch of things to sign and you didn’t even read them, you just signed it all,” your eldest replies. “I did that three years ago. How did you not learn yet?”

“Is that what happened?” You gape at him.

“Yes, but we aren’t talking about me right now,” Seokjin deflected. “We’re talking about you adopting more kids.”

“Um,” that same kid, the one with the thick eye lashes, cuts in. “Can we come in?” It’s a fair question, and in spite of the confusion and frustration in your heart, you know you aren’t going to send these kids back to Jieun and her new husband. She had already expressed her concern for these kids, and they aren’t even old enough to start middle school. How are they going to live in an apartment on their own? You stole Yoongi for that exact reason so you aren’t going to be a hypocrite now and turn these two boys away, even if you have no idea what you would do with seven children.

At least these two come with an added paycheck. And okay, that is bad, that is very, very bad. It isn’t nice to think of these innocent children as a paycheck, but it helps. You are struggling to take care of the five you already have, receiving extra money for the extra mouths is nice. At least Jieun was considerate about throwing her kids at you.

“Hello,” Namjoon waved. He hasn’t moved from his seat on the sofa, remote still in hand. Map the Soul is playing at a more sensible level, and it's a testament to Namjoon’s interest in the situation because he normally skips this song. “I’m Namjoon. Welcome to our home.”

“I’m Seokjin,”

“I’m Hoseok,”

“And I’m Jungkookie!”

“When did you get here?” you ask your youngest, surprised to see him.

“I heard the doorbell.”

“Right, my children are nosey, awesome,” you mumble to yourself. “Hoseok, let these boys stay with you and Joonie for now, okay? Boys what are your names again?”

“I’m Taehyung,” says the same child who’s done all of the talking so far. “This is my brother, Jimin. He’s quiet and doesn’t like to talk.”

“That’s okay. We were going to order dinner soon. Are you boys hungry?”

“I’m always hungry,” Taehyung grinned.

“Of course you are, you’re a young boy. This lot will eat me out of house and home if I let them.”

“Your house is your home, you’re being redundant,” Namjoon scoffs, going back into the kitchen to finish his homework.

“I fail to see where I’m wrong though.”

“I volunteer to not tell Yoongi we’re adopting more kids,” Hoseok laughs as he leads Jimin and Taehyung away.

“One, two, three, not it!” The rest of the boys shout.

“Hey, I’m the parent here! Why are you behaving like I’m afraid of a twelve-year-old?!”

07