#(except they are except they aren't except they are because that's the only pre-relationship dynamic i can write ok)

[the--highlanders]

once I get this 7 part fake married fic written it's over for you guys

[unladielike]

    Vivian shakes her head, indicating that she in fact didn't know. "Nope! I was today years old when I first learned dark chocolate is apparently something athletes are encouraged to consume everyday. It's something I'll keep in mind, though. Heck, maybe I'll even try to find a hot chocolate mix with dark chocolate the next time I go shopping for beans," she muses aloud. Why, now that Vivian thinks about it, she's pretty sure the hot chocolate she made for him was made with less bitter cacao; either way, it's definitely useful knowledge to keep tucked away somewhere in her mind.

    "Also, who is this 'Shin' you even speak of? A friend? Cousin? Lover? The man who ate all your plants?" she then asks, allowing curiosity to seep through her tone as she tilts her head towards one side. Of course, she might have been a bit too nosy by probing him about this, but unless she sensed the other person's discomfort, Vivian doesn't tend to shy away from asking questions.

    Still, Mizumachi doesn't seem as if he was particularly taken; after all, he did give her a big bear hug earlier, which was unusual behaviour for someone who wasn't single. Then again, maybe he was unusually affectionate towards friends, family, and significant others alike... but whatever the case, she doesn't dwell long on the matter upon realizing there was something else she forgot to say, causing her to momentarily straighten her posture.

    "Oh, and to answer your previous question... it's actually the opposite, 'cause interestingly enough, I do regain spoons by talking," Vivian admits. Not all autistic people were the same, though, and that was only the case for her because she happens to be an extrovert.

[水]

Mizumachi didn’t drink much coffee himself, being more of a tea person himself if he wasn’t chugging plain water or sports drinks, that is. He didn’t know it could take that much effort to make a single cup of coffee. Then again, he’s also seen people making tea with tea bags and straight boiling water, so he guessed that everyone had their own methods.

“That sounds like a lot of effort for coffee. I bet the taste must be worth it.”

He listens to her explain how it was similar to MP points in JRPG and that made it a bit more relatable for him to better understand how it worked. Just like in games, you needed some down time to restore your MP points (though in some games you could also use items to help the process). He could make the guess that it was inconvenient to try to organize the days tasks against the amount of spoons you had readily available at the moment, but they make due with what they have. It made life feel all the more interesting and impressive to learn about the different kinds of people there were. You may look the same as another person but lead a completely different life.

You could look vastly different from another person but still be a respectable athlete. He’s learned from experience not to underestimate someone based off their stature.

“Oh? So you regain your spoons with idle leisure. Is there something else you do for leisure? Does talking take spoons?”

It would be a shame if he had to stop talking to facilitate her spoon regeneration, but he’s a considerate guy! He can be quiet if need be. Though, he can also do the opposite and talk a storm if she preferred listening!

“It’s plenty sweet as is, so it’s good, thanks! Did ya know? Dark chocolate is good for athletes in small amounts every day. At least, that’s what Shin told me once.”

The guy tried to explain the science behind it too. Mizumachi ended up falling asleep with his eyes open.

[linkcharacter]

Oh I have so many thoughts on aroace Curly, I think it brings so much on the table when analyzing the game's story.

Amanormativity ties in with the reoccurring mentions of the nuclear family, from Wrong Organ making 1950s mock advert posters, to Swansea talking about how getting a wife and kids didn't bring him any fulfillment in life.

In the cake cutting nightmare sequence, where Jimmy talks with Dream Curly about the mediocre cake, Dream Curly begins to talk about how sometimes you can only get the subpar stuff in live. Sometimes he'll get promoted, buy a house, fall in love. But other times he'll just have some awful fucking cake with his friend.

I think there is that subtle implication that Jimmy does buy into Amanormativity, with him projecting his beliefs on Dream Curly that a platonic relationship is lesser then a romantic one. But we never see Curly suggesting that he wants such a thing in the pre-crash.

With Jimmy thinking that Curly has everything in life, except for the desire (although I think Jimmy would view it as Curly not having the skills for it) to get a romantic partner, he would heavily lean into getting the one thing that Curly couldn't get in life to one up him.

THATS EXACTLY WHAT IM THINKING!!! AMATONORMATIVITY BE DAMNED!!!!

Looking at Mouthwashing through an aroace lens is interesting

"Jimmy thinking that Curly has everything in life, except for the desire", well said, well said! And references to the nuclear family fit in very cleanly thematically for Mouthwashing.

Jimmy leaning into amatonormativity is a smart observation. Jim internalizes all the social norms and standards on what you have to do to have a normal and desirable life, who sees everything Curly has and what Jimmy wishes he had, and is offended that Curly isn't satisfied, that he has the "audacity" to be unhappy. Curly meanwhile only wishes for his life to be something he doesn't have to run from, because by all means, he has already reached a point where he should feel accomplished, but isn't. Curly doesn't want to be a freighter captain his whole life, he doesn't want to settle with his sustainable position, he just wants to be happy. Like Swansea who has reached the "ideal" outcome of his life, having a wife, kids and a good career, it will never feel as good as embracing all what society deems undesirable yet right for you.

Jimmy does imply to seeing himself as lesser as a friend, "fall in love" being a goal and a "cake with a friend" being something he "has to settle for", it's all in the subtleties with underlying themes of "what you're "supposed to want" by society's expectations" against "what feels right for you". Jimmy is frustrated that Curly is going to "leave the dirt behind him", when in actuality, letting the crew and him go is the last thing Curly wants. Curly wants to be with his friends, he deeply cares about his crew, and about his close friend.

Mouthwashing as a whole reads to me as platonic through and through. Swansea and Daisuke having such a meaningful familial bond, Curly and Anya being sweet, playful and caring without romance, Anya and Daisuke having something of a siblings dynamic are dear to me. Also it's really rare to get to see representations of "toxic friendship" in media. Its always toxic romance this, toxic yaoi that, toxic family there, however in reality, friendships aren't excluded from being as rotten and abusive as the others, yet they're often overlooked. Jim and Curly are especially unique in this way. It's very impressive how they managed to showcase Jimmy's mistreatment of Curly in such a platonic way (at least that how I read it). Jim too, like Curly, in general avoids hints at romance and attraction explicitly related to him during his gameplay, not with Curly, nor with Anya (dear god thanks for that at least). It's all spite, annoyance and parasitizing off of these two. (That man's dry and lowkey hates everyone and everything) No attraction attached, no desires except hoping it hurts.

Curly to me is very much aroace, or at least on the spectrum. Like, the trivia fact that one of Curly's fondest memories is that of his friends putting in effort to make a shitty awful cake, tells us all we need to know on how dear his friends are to him. Platonic relationships mean so much to Curly, even when it's Jimmy fucking Mouthwashing, the worst friend ever imaginable.

[xianqu]

✦ : PLOTTING CALL ━━━━ wishlist items.

i have trouble starting ideas on the go, or finding a launching point at times, so i decided to compile a list of wishlist relations that i'd like to have for yixuan!! this is by no means an exhaustive list, but a hopefully a place to start from and branch outward to; one of my shortcomings is unfortunately not knowing how to respond and conversations dying so i am fingers crossed that this will work.... see below the cut for a short list of potential dynamics! i'll reblog this periodically and send IMs to those interested!!

hellbound gods / ghosts / spirits ; one of the easiest, i think, in terms of launching points and an easy way into neutral-to-high regard from yixuan. he sees most as coworkers in diyu and even if he's not personally familiar, there's at least an unspoken level of respect between them. with the exception of yanwang ( a tip-top level god who yixuan has absolutely no business trying to get buddy-buddy with in an attempt to get out of this stupid job he's found himself in ) he has at least heard of others in his rank. * coworkers, friends, found family

' righteous ' gods of heaven ; the complete opposite of the above, yixuan has an automatic dislike for the deities in heaven. their relationship has crumbled hundreds of years ago and a sort of resentment between tian / heaven meddling with the affairs of diyu / hell has led to a distrust and longstanding dislike for its gods. especially given his new job searching for the deity who leaked the pill of immortality to the humans, yixuan REALLY dislikes heaven. * enemies, bridging understanding, begrudging coworkers

doctors / deities of life ; expanding on the previous dynamic, this one is a bit more specific to yixuan himself rather than the thoughts of diyu's gods. yixuan has a personal target on his back by shennong ( the god of medicine ) and his followers for SUPPOSEDLY stealing his eye. outside of shennong, yixuan has a neutral standing on those who give / extend life if only because they make his job a bit more difficult than he feels it needs to be. * enemies, antagonizing (yixuan ), new perspectives

mortals who have found immortality ; the Bane of yixuan's existence and his main purpose on earth. while yes, he's meant to cull loves for the return of souls to diyu, his target is finding who has gotten ahold of the pill of immortality and finding which god slipped it to the humans. whether they attained immortality through other means, yixuan is hellbent on reaping their lives if they aren't one of the heroes pre-ordained to be spared. that is, unless they can give him the information he's looking for: he's willing to look the other way for a price. * enemies, hot on the trail, partners in crime (?)

necromancers / jiangshi / reanimated corpses ; cult followers of yixuan's craft and the very souls he visits to bestow his grace upon in order to create these creatures. so long as they don't meddle with the pool of souls, why can't he have a bit of fun from time to time? as a creature made of gu poison, yixuan has no problem with the art, but oversees practitioners to ensure they don't step beyond their boundaries. * mentor-mentee, teaching an old dog new tricks, troublemakers

killers ; workload lifters, he considers them. though it certainly isn't his preferred method, so long as there is a steady stream of souls returned to diyu then he has no qualms against the methodology. he's befriended town serial killers, creatures of the grove, mythical beasts, all who lighten the burden of his already heavy plate. * friends, coworkers, partners in crime

followers ; he's a minor god, at least, until someone has a need to pray to him. even still, there are those who are devout to his name and he's willing to grace them a time or two, a ward of his protection. * god and devotee, trailing puppies, knight and king

friendships ; though his face is well known across his domain and among the humans who have had the misfortune of being paid a visit by him, he isn't always immersed in work. it certainly seems that way at times, but yixuan is a playful soul beneath the layers of gruff annoyance. he's a bit clingy, a bit demanding, and is never quite direct with his thoughts, but is a steadfast rock should someone need it. never one to take anything too seriously ( save for... his work ) he's a lighthearted god who doesn't exactly act his age. * friends, pesterer and pesteree, found family

family (?) ; yixuan is a solitary soul, someone who doesn't fare well with himself much less his own family ( if they even exist-- he's yet to clarify that myth about his origins ) but it gets lonely at times. not that he would ever admit such a thing... having someone to rely on, pester, come to with victories and failures would be good for him, i think. if only to keep from going insane until he's relieved of this stupid position. admittedly difficult to get to know him to reach this point, but a greatly treasured role by the god of plague if achieved. * found family, annoyances, rare soft spots

romantic partners ; admittedly yixuan has had sparse experiences here and there, with immortals and humans alike. there aren't many who capture his heart and those who do flee too soon * right person wrong time, reincarnated love, old gods learning humanity

anything else that comes to mind ; please don't let this post limit you!! if you have your own wishlist dynamics i would LOVE to see how yixuan could puzzle into that role, or if something in this list sparks an idea, that's awesome too!!

[deadlysoupy]

i cannot express just how grateful i am that the devs decided to make rook so unique, in almost all areas of the game

like, obviously it's not da origins level, because that was a miracle in of itself and might never be repeated, but it's still so commendable, especially if we fairly compare it to inquisition

because think about it. we get like, what, six or seven faction backgrounds that you get to choose, and then you get a special relationship with people inside that faction? are you fucking kidding me that's awesome. not only that, but we also get a background, we get to know what our rook did before the events of the game, and we can decide how they react to it. do they feel remorse? regret? freedom? sure, you may need to add a little bit of context yourself for some factions, but that's the fun part! you get to make a little guy and develop them in your head! you're building them in-game

not to mention the combat and skill system of the game. there're seven companions and they all have their classes, and you can pick between two styles of fighting (except for rogue i guess, kind of) and your spec ties into a faction. you feel very unique because you can just be whatever and no other companion will repeat after you (or you repeat after them)! isn't that neat!

compare that to inquisition. who tf is your inquisitor. they're literally just a Guy (gender neutral). when you pick a spec they're all the same as your companions. how is this in any way making my inquisitor stand out. they're just a vessel, an empty plot device. they walked into a room and people pushed them into being a religious leader. it literally could have been anyone else. the only interesting choice i remember from inquisition that actually made me remember that they're a person is when you talk with casssandra about whether or not you believe in god. that's it

you become a symbol in 1/3 of the game. you aren't a person, your decisions matter to the whole world now, and you can't be biased about it. the game wants you to be analytical, but it doesn't want me to act like my character, i'm basically playing a Build Your Own Empire simulator

so don't you even start telling me rook isn't interesting, or that they're nobody. they have a story, a pre-existing one, but a story nonetheless. just like hawke does. we're roleplaying a specific character, and if the game does most of the work - that's fine by me, i'll just fill in the gaps and make my rook feel richer and have interesting dynamics with the veilguard. if you can't imagine your rook in Situations, i'm so sorry for you, because i'm having so much fun with them

[thatgirl4815]

Loved these tags from @fromthedepthsandbeyond on this ask so wanted to use them as a jumping off point for a discussion about Sand in Ep7. (I hope you don't mind.)

Sand as a 'pathetic' character

I've seen quite a few folks on Twitter up in arms about how pathetic the narrative is painting Sand to be which, in my mind, is all relative. Because if we're comparing him to Nick, then Sand seems to have quite a bit of self-respect. But all these comments got me thinking how Sand does have self respect in so many aspects of his life; aside from Ray, he would seem to have everything put together. And Ray is the one thing he can't reconcile with his lifestyle, the one thing that doesn't fit. Up 'til now, he's allowed that.

Also got me thinking about this discussion I had with @waitmyturtles last episode regarding the woobification of certain characters. Looking back, I wonder if having Sand finally act out in Ep6 was all leading up to this moment, as Sand's revenge on Top quite literally is a major catalyst in bringing Ray and Mew together. After getting revenge on someone he thinks deserves to be punished, Sand is also being punished too. In some way, I wonder if that is a commentary on the cyclical nature of vengeance--how no matter how justified you are in your payback, you will pay for it too.

Regrets

What is Sand's personal plot? Clearly it's all tied up in Ray. But what do Sand's ties to Ray say about him? It says he's a natural caretaker, likely due to his upbringing, but it also says that caretaking plays a major role in his self-concept. What Sand is learning is that he does not demand exclusivity in his caretaking role--though he might want that, he hasn't demanded it from Ray, because he doesn't think he has a right to do that. Sand has a very acute awareness of morals and what is within his own bounds to demand. In this case, I think it goes back to what First said about Sand handling his emotions on his own; Sand wants Ray to care for him only, but he knows that's not a requirement of their relationship. Ray, on the other hand, demands Sand's sole attention, even though he doesn't deserve it. Despite Sand being burned near-constantly by Ray, he is the one who still feels like he can't demand things of Ray because of the pre-set terms of their relationship.

It also makes me curious...for all the pain it has caused him, how much does Sand regret getting his revenge on Top? Was it worth it? Because if he truly loves Ray, then we would assume that he does harbor regrets. (Which brings me to another question: Does Sand truly love Ray? What stage of infatuation is Sand at right now?) Looking morally, Sand likely thinks he was doing the right thing for exposing Top as a cheater, regardless of the consequences. But knowing if he has regrets about this could be a major clue in to just how down bad he is for Ray.

One of the reasons I'm loving this show so much (despite that crapshoot of a part 4/4 in Ep7, ugh) is because it's putting characters like Sand, who aren't even center stage, in an uncomfortable position. Sand has to confront his own values by pitting his morals and his feelings against each other. Going back to Ep3, is Ray 'just an exception'? Or has this kind of value-bending happened to Sand before?

And, in going back to the tags, is Sand going to change because of Ray? Personally, I think the Joker/Harley Quinn dynamic between Ray and Mew suggests that they will be making major changes for each other, which could stand in direct contrast to Sand. Ray is satisfied that he has finally gotten Mew to adapt to his lifestyle and be with him the way he wants, so why won't Sand give in too? Why won't Sand remain the person Ray wants him to be (as in: someone who drops everything the moment he calls)? Why can't Ray be in control of the people in his life the way he can't be in control of himself?

[princescribbler]

YOUR DYNAMIC IS YOUR DYNAMIC: IT DOESN'T NEED TO FIT ANYONE ELSE"S IDEAS!

(Pre-emptive content warning: discussions of depression, fetishism, ABDL, D/s, fairly extreme Ageplay and regression dynamics, and broader power exchange dynamics)

It's often hard to explain to people what my kink dynamic looks like with my fiance/ partner/ mommy-domme @giggle-byte. Am I her little? Yes. 24/7 diapers? Absolutely. Do I wear a chastity cage most days, and follow detailed routines and rules? ABSOLUTELY! So do I feel like she's the only one in charge, I'm this completely regressed and controlled 'slave', and we're 24/7 D/s? Absolutely not, and I'll try to explain why a bit further below. But also... kind of yes? But not in the way people seem to think!

See, I've been into forced regression, unpotty training, pretty intense ABDL and MD/lb things for as long as I can recall. Heck, most of my dating history I was the daddy domme like 70% of the time or more, instead of like 10-15% in my current dynamic. So finding a full-time mommy-domme and lifelong kink partner would, in theory, result in extreme lifestyle changes. Sure, some happened...but nothing i didn't ask for, beg for, PLEAD for over years of my life. Nothing was done i didn't consent to, agree with, and even generally DESIRED to have! The point i'm trying to make is this: I expected a specific 'version' of what it meant to have a mommy-domme, and especially a 24/7 dynamic, and i was just...wrong! See, my dynamic is based on MY needs, not the ones my penis thinks of when it's hard, and not the ones i read about online. my needs are mine, and they don't necessarily MATCH the expectation online! So why bother getting my partner to give me detailed rules, give me structure, etc? because it WORKS FOR US, and IS WHAT I WANT! Why do I have a bedtime? Because i struggled with tiredness at work in the morning and thrive on routine. The chastity? Well, i had panic attacks around sex, and momma suggested at first it would take my mind off the idea of having to 'perform'. Soon, i liked the whole idea, the control, the teasing, the build up...but i also didn't like actually feeling denied, and frankly when we first started, i had a pretty low sex-drive....so weirdly, my amazing fiance @giggle-byte actually helped me 'regain' some of that sex drive, enjoy and embrace...via CHASTITY! And now, it's actually her who is the amazing, controlled, thoguhtful one who handles that for me. I can ask to lock, unlock, etc...but the truth is she knows what i can and can't cope with and gives it to me without me needing to ask! But it's NOT about denial...she unlocks me every day, with few exceptions. It's not about control: I have the key, a backup key, a third backup, even in play where i 'lock the key away' in a timer lock i genuinely can't get into...it's never off my keyring as a spare. The idea is the DYNAMIC is there...but the daily rules are more open, flexible, and based on our mutual desires and needs!

Every time we reassess our dynamic we run into this over and over. Too many online stories, too many fantasies, and not enough realistic reality or even modern and flexible dynamics crept into our expectations...and suddenly, we realized that we aren't doing a 24/7 ABDL and MD/lb (and switch DD/lg dynamic, though she's slightly more private about her little side) relationship the way anyone was expecting...but it was WORKING for us very well, DESPITE that?!

The point I'm trying to make is this; Your dynamic, relationship, and needs are YOURS and won't look like a cookie-cutter idea. For some people into MD/lb, they want chastity, denial, cock and ball torture, humiliation, degradation, and the like. For some, it's purely non-sexual, cute, and loving. For us...it's sometimes very flexible, but generally it's more focused on cuteness, structure, routine, and supporting us both in our mutually shared kinky desires!

To wrap this rant up: Let's go through a few quick examples of what the EXPECTATION of a dynamic like ours usually is, and then compare it to what MY relationship looks like. Expectation/archetype against the reality!

Chastity Expectation: to be locked, denied, teased, humiliated, left wanting and desperate or degraded or even cuckolded! My Dynamic/Chastity Reality: momma uses it like a sex toy, it's not required, it's a thing i only wear for a few hours most days, but i CAN feel the desire for more...and one wore it the better part of a month, without prior experience with that, and loved it!

Diapers 24/7 Expectation: Public humiliation against my will to forcibly infantilize, regress, and humiliate or control me! My Dynamic/Diaper Reality: It's my fucking kink, i CLEARLY enjoy it and momma helped me stop feeling ashamed and worried. in fact, it's not a profound comfort and sort of security-blanket.

Switch Relationship Expectation: To constantly swap roles, or to only stay in one role at a time, or to at the very least struggle with who is 'big' and who is 'little' at any given time. My Switch Reality: It's fluid, happens without a ton of effort (admittedly this took time to establish), i can be 'baby prince papi' while she's still my 'princess'...even if it's 'momma princess'. Our roles don't match the traditional expectations.

24/7 ABDL and MD/lb Expectation: A lifestyle of complete submission, regression, denial, control, humiliation, and sexual frustration in order to become more and more needy and desperate...Eventually usually implied to end in either permanent regression, cuckolding, etc. My 24/7 ABDL and MD/lb Reality: Basically just the fun parts of that, without sexual frustration, plus my sex drive went from 'once a week' to '3-5x a day' and has made me happier, healthier, more confident, cute, and self-accepting. Oh and i get all my kinky desires met, fulfill the love of my life's kinky fantasies, al while getting MORE sexy fun, MORE relaxation, and IMPROVED mental as well as physical well-being. You know...NOT what i was told I'd receive!

So fuck the idiots who demand you follow their idea of kink. Well, don't actually fuck them, they don't deserve it, but i mean....ignore and disregard them! You don't have to have a dynamic that fits any traditional guidelines, rules, etc. If you want to have a unique dynamic, CELEBRATE your uniqueness and finding someone who shares it with you! And for god's sake, don't expect each other to fulfil a role neither of you signed up for, ok? It's OK to have a fantasy and yet find the reality unpleasant, preferring to live in a gentler, nicer lifestyle. Give yourself permission to be unique, creative, and DEFINE your needs rather thna having them defined for you! I promise: it pays off in spades!

As always, stay happy, stay healthy, and stay kinky!

-Scribbler

[figs-and-cigs]

As long as every individual is consenting, happy, and not getting hurt - it doesn't make sense why anyone would care or throw hate towards it.

However I do want to address the first part, because it comes up so often and I like giving clarification for people who are curious. Most people have the perception that polyamory is as simple as adding a third to their relationship. I'd even say in a lot of cases people (even monogamous couples) think it would be neat or fun to add someone to their relationships.

(Example, how many bisexual women have started dating man who then says something ignorant like "does that mean you're open to threesomes?" Or "so you'd be open to dating a girl together?")

The idea often seems enticing, exciting, and non-problematic. Except, it is problematic for a number of reasons. It's never as simple as finding another person and adding them to your relationship.

Think about how difficult dating can be, nevermind finding someone to build a healthy relationship with on an individual basis. When dating someone new you're looking for mutual physical attraction, someone who matches our personality in some way, similar interests, goals, values. How well you both get along. Do sexual interests, and desires mutually align? What about lifestyles and schedules?

It's a lot to consider 1 on 1. When talking about "adding a third". Not only does that individual need to check those boxes for you, but there's the expectation they will check those boxes for your partner. Then there's the question of if the couple checks that individuals boxes at all.

My husband and I have different tastes in women. I tend to gravitate toward extroverts while he connects with introverts for example.

In polyamory it's actually considered unethical and unreasonable (in most circles and in literature) to seek out a third to add to an already existing relationship. The term used for the couple is "Unicorn Hunters", because they're seeking some magical rare, likely non-existent, person that fits into this perfect mold that is their relationship.

(I'll note, in the swinger community UH are not looked down on, and "unicorns" are actually common. There are plenty of single bisexual swingers who are happy to "play" with a couple they find attractive. In many cases swingers are considered emotionally monogamous but sexually poly.)

The other issue that comes into play is the power dynamics and privileges that comes with being an already established couple. As a couple you already have a history together, established 'roles' in the relationship, set schedules and responsibilities, a status quo of how things go. Adding a third person to this dynamic will create changes to those things. The main problem is, regardless of how amendable or equal the couple says they want to be, this new individual usually gets less say. It often becomes two against one.

Then you throw in emotional dynamics. Perhaps the third likes you better than your partner. Perhaps you and third connect better, get along better, have more common interests. Someone gets left out. Or the third decides (she) doesn't want a relationship with your partner but wants to continue with you. Often, couples then toss the third to the side and goes off to seek someone who likes them both equally. In these dynamics "the third" is often expendable and gets hurt.

So with all that said, how does polyamory work then? How do long lasting triads actually form? In all my years of polyamory, the healthy dynamics I see where there is already an established couple - everyone dates separately. They aren't seeking to add anyone to their pre-existing relationship, they simply have multiple individual relationships.

My husband has a girlfriend and some play partners, I have a few people I'm dating. My husband and I don't interfere with each others relationships, and those relationships don't interfere with our primary relationship (with the exception of schedules, arranging for child care, and budgeting finances for dates).

When healthy triads do form, "the third" is usually the catalyst. Say John and Sara are in a relationship, and Sara is dating Ben. Over time and interaction, John and Ben realize they like each other and start dating (separate from Sara). John and Sara's relationship is good, Sara and Ben are happy, John and Ben's relationship escalates really well. They decide to start having dates together and organically become a triad.

None of this is meant to be critical, just informative. Again, it's totally common for people to think about adding a third to their relationship, and it's totally ok to desire it. But really, it's an unrealistic fantasy. The reality is so much more complex - like with any relationship.

Hope that helps answers anyone's questions.

Polyamory is like, so cool to me. Well not cool but like, interesting(???). I love my boyfriend, but I wouldn't mind if we got a third person. Personally I'd like someone who would be dating both me and my boyfriend. Does that count? Or would that not work at all? Not that we're looking or anything (so not an invitation to ask/nm).

Honestly I really don't get how people could hate the concept of being poly? If everyone is happy, why should you care? If nobody is getting hurt, why should anyone care? Poly people don't deserve the hate.

[thefairyletters]

LeeSaku Fanfics

LeeSaku has a kind of ship dynamics where both characters bring out the best in each other by helping each other, developing the most positive kind of relationship. Lee is one of the many characters that went forgotten after original Naruto. We didn't see much of his struggles and power-ups he got in shippuden. While I generally root for their super-youthful!Friendship, I also read Romantic!LeeSaku stories. GaaLee is the most popular Lee ship. LeeSaku is the only other option that is decently popular but is otherwise nonexistent against the ships like NS, SS, NH, or even cracks.

Kishi wrote too many characters and forgot all of them that didn't have Sharingan, haven't been a Hokage, aren't villains, or aren't related to tailed demons. Yeah, that summed it up just fine.

I really despise how Lee and Sakura became direct photo copies of their masters, except Sakura surpassed her master and Lee didn't... Or at least it isn't mentioned anywhere that he did. But wouldn't you still have loved to see their power dynamics together, side by side, in a fight, because both rely a lot on Taijutsu and hand-to-hand combat? God knows I dig it.

Thankfully, we have quite a few (very few really) fanfictions that bring out the best in LS.

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Happy Reading!

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Human Weakness: Valkyriav || AO3/FFN || M || Borutoverse || Ongoing

Sakura thought life would be perfect now that she is married to Sasuke, but she soon realizes that the idealized Sasuke she always dreamed of is not real. Lee suddenly enters into her life and fills the holes Sasuke leaves with his long, unexplained disappearances, but confusing feelings start to develop on both sides.

(This story is everything that should have happened between Lee and Sakura, omitting the romance. Lee has so much in common with Sakura, but unfortunately their friendship remained vague. But, in this, not anymore!)

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look at you strawberry (blond): sendshiversdownyourspine || AO3 || T || Genin AU || Ongoing

Sakura looks at the boy in front of her, bold and loud and unashamed, looked at his weirdly cut hair and bushy eyebrows, and goes on a date with him. Or, sakura's rejection of lee in canon doesn't make sense because she was literally bullied for her looks and the author is mad.

(You can say that this is an alternate canon in which Sasuke never leaves Konoha because Sakura and Naruto promise to kill Itachi for him. Rookie9-Team7 fluff unlike anywhere else. LeeSaku will give everyone diabetes. This is my favourite LeeSaku story.)

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I am the BEST Trophy Wife!: Tetramorph || AO3 || T || Genin AU || One Shot

The mistake Gai made, in hindsight, was letting young Lee watch soap operas when he asked about romance.

(In which Lee breaks all social barriers coming in between him and his first love.)

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The Art of Holding Hands: Hiss || FFN || T || Drabble

Her hand touched his.

(It shows their relationship development over time in 500 words.)

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Remember the promise: link no miko || FFN || T || Pre-shippuden || One Shot

She never realised how important such a strange promise was. Until he refused to break it.

(In which Lee helps Sakura cheer up. It's a short story and nothing remarkable about it except it could be canon.)

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Substitute: Lady D of Chaos || FFN || T || Canon AU || One Shot

Lee knows he is a substitute.

(LeeSaku angst. Proceed by caution.)

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Feel free to add more/rec fics that you feel should in the list. There isn't enough LeeSaku in the world!

[xhudgenssistersconfessions]

Wait that doesn’t make sense. V and Ashley’s bday posts are always telling. They’re probably the only hints we have about their feelings towards one another, besides interviews. They speak highly of each other even as far back as 2019, pre-pandemic. Why would they tell each other “best friends forever” and praise one another and whatnot if only a year later the pandemic would suddenly “supposedly” make them realize they don’t wanna be friends forever??? Vanessa got back and immediately saw Ashley. She held her baby. Ashley praised her in interviews. They weren’t genuinely drifted apart until after V came back and other relationships on both sides became more of a priority. It’s very clear. Also, I wouldn’t compare friendship dynamics necessarily. Laura and Vanessa have a different relationship than Ashley and Vanessa. Ashley and Vanessa have always been more private. Laura came to live with Vanessa and sees/saw her everyday. But when she was in Australia, there was a drift (obviously) but there was a drift between everyone except for gg and v because gg came to live with her after a while and they were in each other’s faces everyday.

I think some of you guys are misinterpreting what we're saying. None of us are saying they aren't or don't want to be friends anymore. We're just saying they aren't that close. They're still friends and I feel like in some aspect they always will be. They just drifted apart which is a very common thing to happen in friendships especially if you've known that person as long as Vashley has known each other.

A lot has changed for the both of them in the last few years. They went through very different transitioning phases and they leaned on the people that best understood what they were going through at that particular time.

Ashley became closer to Kim because they were both pregnant and experiencing motherhood for the first time. Vanessa became closer to GG because they were both going through tough breakups and were trying to navigate that.

When I said the pandemic probably helped open their eyes regarding their relationship, I just meant that with everything they were both going through, they might've came to the realization that they just don't have a whole lot in common anymore. When you really look at it, you'll see that they are almost polar opposites in a lot of ways.

[sebastianshaw]

@defyxoblivion "I don't like to rain on people's parades but damn. I honestly feel sorry for MCU fans of the Eternals trying to get into the comic versions." Yeeeeeeeeeah, I feel like that is probably VERY hard to do. Like, as someone who was a comics fan first, it's pretty easy for me to also like the movie as its own thing, and even prefer some of movie's versions---Ajak obviously, but I also really enjoy the MCU take on Kingo and Gilgamesh as well---but I imagine it's a LOT more difficult the other way around. It's not simply that the characters are different in the comics, that's the case with everything, it's that most of them are completely different, much darker people in the comics, and they utterly lack to family dynamic and relationships that the movie had, which was a big drawing point for most MCU fans from what I can tell. The comics are also thematically very different, and in a much bleaker way. Like, for all the changes that other Marvel films made from the source material, the large-scale thematics are still the same. If you watched any X-Men movie and then picked up a pre-Krakoa comic, you might have no idea who any of these people are or the details of what's going on, but the basic jist of "oppressed minority metaphor fighting to defend a world that hates them" is gonna carry over. But with Eternals, that's not what you're getting. In the film, the theme is that humanity is just really so special and worth protecting to them that they overcome their programming and say fuck you fuck this to the Celestials. It's a very uplifting, very human narrative. Human both in that while the characters themselves aren't human, humanity and its importance is what drives them, and human in that this idea of just being able to say "no" to your creator and how you were created is a very individualistic, human idea. And it's the reverse in the comics. The Eternals can have differing views, differing personalities, power struggles, fights among themselves and other beings, but at the end of the day, they're meat machines in a way much deeper than physical like the film Eternals. While most of the ones who get spotlight are protective to humans, that's the exception, not the norm. Despising them is also the exception. Most don't care. Most don't think about us. We're not the center of their story. And for those that do care about us, it ultimately doesn't matter, because the will of the Celestials is hardwired into ALL of them, and they don't get to opt out of their programming just by WANTING to hard enough. These immensely powerful, immortal beings, who are essentially gods, only have free will and the ability to change insofar as it doesn't affect their service to the Celestials. It reminds me a lot of Biblical angels and God. And this fatalism goes pretty deep as a theme, more so than just "if the Celestials say fuck the world I guess that's it" Like, in Gillen's run, Ikaris seeing the vision of how that little boy will die, and does everything in his power to protect him. . . only to die himself, and be resurrected at the cost of the boy's life. What will be, will be. It's very much one of those Greek tragedies where no matter what you do, the prophecies will all come to pass, and often in the worse ways. Not to mention just the general darkness that's in a lot of their later works. Gaiman's arc ends with the now-human Sprite having his neck snapped and his body left on a train, Aaron wrote them all committing mass suicide once they found out their true purpose, and Gillen's run. . .well, you've read it. Heck, even the original Kirby stuff was tragic, Ikaris's human love interest dies at the end, as does a man that Sersi saved from killing himself and kinda adopted. There's absolutely a lot of fun stuff individually---SERSI!---but if you're looking for superhero stories, good people, family dynamics, and an uplifting ending to anything, the Eternals are NOT the comic for you. Which is fine, I really like this shit, but if you're coming in from seeing and loving the movie, I imagine this is probably very

disappointing and jarring to say the least.

Napping now but

Revisiting Gaiman’s take on Druig, which is him at his most evil in some chillingly real world ways, is how I met the character so it’s how I think of him by default but

I’m imagining some poor soul who only knows MCU Druig picking this up and finding out “yeah he runs death camps and makes people use box cutters on each other/themselves” like Holy Fucking Shit

[siobhanromee]

A Court of Thorns and Roses Book Review

So this book is a retelling of the Beauty and the Beast story, which I didn't know going into it. I knew there would be an element of romance, but I didn't think it would be the driving force of the plot. I thought it would be more like a Holly Black novel about the Fae, with LOTS of courtly intrigue and drama and romantic subplots. So maybe my opinion of this book is more biased because it wasn't the story I hoped it would be.

That aside, if you haven't read the book I'm gonna summarise it somewhere.

So the first thing I really didn't care for was the relationship our heroine, Feyre has with her family. Feyre is the youngest and hunts as the main breadwinner for her family. Her father and her sisters don't do anything to earn money for the family and she resents them for this. I feel that this just doesn't make sense, if they are all in this terrible situation together, why don't they do their part to help the family? The helpless family member trope, where the hero's family is useless and has to be saved or whatever by the hero, is something that I haaaaaate. I hate reading stories where the protagonist is the only one trying to help. The relationship between Katniss and her mom in the Hunger Games is another example of this.

One positive thing I do have to say about this novel is that the author isn't as afraid of sex for the first book of her series as a lot of YA authors are. Sarah J Maas already has a successful book series out, so I assume she is less worried about being censored for that sort of thing.

The other thing I didn't like was the romantic options for our protagonist.

Tamlin pretty much kidnaps her and their relationship dynamic has the same problems as Disney's Beauty and the Beast. Except unlike Belle and the Beast, Feyre and Tamlin aren't as sweet a couple. Tamlin is relatively indifferent to Feyre and at the beginning of their time together, she plans to put a knife in his back. He seems to find this almost amusing. (Also there's this weird scene about this festival thing or something that just felt wrong).

That brings us to Rhysand, the other possible love interest. He isn't any better than Tamlin. He is manipulative and cruel at times, but he has some sympathetic aspects of his character. The reasoning that would justify him and Feyre being a healthy couple are just about as (il)logical as the reasons Reylo shippers use to justify Rey and Kylo-Ren being together (Ugh I hate even thinking about that ship).

I don't mind love triangles, but when the protagonist has to choose between 2 assholes, I just hate them. Like they have to pick the "lesser evil" to date lol. I could go on a whole 'nother rant about love triangles…

Anyway, there were a few issues with pacing, foreshadowing, and info-dumping that aren't great (and mostly are related to the antagonist, Amarantha). But those are things I can live with.

There is one character that I really enjoyed, though. Lucien, friend of Tamlin, was my favourite character. He had such a well thought (but still tragic) backstory that was revealed during the exposition of the book (not at the pre-climax info-dump like Tamlin or during the falling action like Rhysand). He also is snarky, but not in a way that it completely stole the scene. I just generally liked him and I hope he survives the sequels.

I have one more teeny-tiny nitpick-y thing that bothered me. (Btw, If you made it this far, congratulations) The map at the front of the book looks soooo much like the UK, but there is just a basic medieval feel to the non-fae parts of the setting, not anything specifically Welsh, English, Irish or Scottish about it. I wish the mapmaker had at least tried to create an original map. :( (but that is super irrelevant and really just a mild annoyance).

In conclusion, if love triangles, curses, and pseudo-medieval settings are your thing, you will like A Court of Thorns and Roses.

(Cover Image from Amazon)