#(except mine. i like to waste my time on drawing memes to make myself laugh 😂)

[undefeatablesin]

me patiently waiting the whole time to meet the services of my queen who just reincarnated like jesus 😌

And thank you kindly for sticking around to see my resurrection!! I really appreciate it ✨️ I've honestly had a bit of a hard time trying to nudge myself back into posting despite having started drawing again because the stagefright has had enough time to set back in. But then again, anyone who has followed this blog for a while knows my brand has always been Inconsistent Self-Indulgence so 😂 We are all just here to vibe anyway.

But regardless, I'm glad to be back after the long break and glad to see the community still hanging out! Please have this silly Laurence from a silly meme page I'm working on. As a token of my appreciation 👍 (He has no great ideas)

[finsterhund]

Plush Dog Scarf - Little Boy Gift

The lockdown here is in full swing. There’s lineups for all the essential stores still open, the post office is giving me special privileges because I’m considered an at-risk individual, and there’s a shortage of the medicine I need to breathe. So it’s been pretty stressful.

Paper Beast has been like, the only thing (alongside Heart of Darkness of course) that’s been keeping my mind active in a constructive way. But due to the fact that I can’t play video games for ten hours a day due to my chronic pain and how long periods of wearing the headset are hard on my eyes, I can’t just entirely retreat into the world of origami critters and never leave until the crisis is over like I’d want to.

You’d think that since my normal daily life is already “stay in your room bored out of your mind, never go out, have nothing to do” that I’d be used to this. And while I’m prepared for this and have a better handle on my anxiety surrounding the pandemic, I am certainly not adequately prepared. It feels like there’s a looming disaster yet also an insurmountable tiredness. It’s also sobering to find out that there are provincial-wide shortages of ventalin and I had to go to a different pharmacy just to get only the rescue inhaler for the time being. That has made me realize just how serious things are getting. It’s weird seeing the general populous as concerned about catching things as me. I’m laughing a lot at these events, but it’s not a humorous laugh. It’s an anxious venting fear laugh.

The point I’m trying to get at is that the lockdown is driving me to the depraved edges of my mind, which generally means writing about the Heart of Darkness deaths (which I have trouble writing in general right now) drawing stupid jokes (which my tablet is currently misplaced due to rearranging my entire room to play Paper Beast) and my weird fixations I get onto hobbies that orbit me like some tiny lopsided moon that show up for months at a time, disappear again, then smack me in the face within the next ten to twelve months.

I designed a fictional version of myself, currently named Cayden (who I have shown already) that I lowkey am thinking to have be a member of Andy’s class or something, who gets to run around having adventures with Spot, wear all the 90s clothes that I can find in vintage children’s catalogs, and get killed by the Master of Darkness. Fun stuff.

At some point I’ve also been retreating into the whole beanie babies thing again, and discovered to my excitement the subject of this post.

Someone made a scarf out of Spot.

And I’ve been memeing it up on twitter because the listing looked like this:

As can already be garnered from the listing, the insistence that this scarf is in fact for a little boy meant that I immediately started joking that it was “the perfect gift for me” and that I needed it because I was “the greatest little boy in all of Canada” both statements of which are true.

I also decided that because in Cayden’s time turning a beanie baby that was valued anywhere between $50 and $200 (yes) USD into a scarf would be such a superfluous flex and spit in the face of collectors that I just had to have him wear it.

And after much descent into madness and deciding that my Andy cosplay bandanna didn’t deserve to be my makeshift facemask as the person who made it for me disappeared off the planet so getting it replaced would be a long and arduous task I decided after seeing so many people wearing scarves in the Costco to finally get the famous Plush Dog Scarf - Little Boy Gift and fulfill the madness-induced prophecy.

This is mine now. When will it arrive? No idea.

I have also been trying to get my friends to buy scarves like these (there are MORE) but it’s a luxury item people can’t afford. I get that. I mostly got it because of the joke and because my old scarf is falling apart (the red one in case you remember it) and because the lockdown has been slowly driving me insane.

Spot’s squeaky steak (or rather one just like it I found on the internet) arrived yesterday but was filled with such an awful permeating aura of ancient mold that I had to clean it or immediately die so I spent much of today cleaning it out with vinegar. I think it works. Now it just hurts my breath because of the smell of vinegar. I held a flashlight to it and there’s no mold inside. Any more tips to kill mold inside a vintage dog toy would be appreciated.

Spot’s squeak steak is also a lot smaller than I expected it to be. Which i shouldn’t be surprised by because if my hands hadn’t grown since I was a toddler there would most certainly be problems. But it is weird. My hands are so big now. Strong.

I also have finally photoshopped my magnificent creation known as Negaspot into digital existence. Negaspot is possible, but requires cutting off Spot’s head and putting it onto the body of another beanie baby which is a bit too insane and deranged for me at this point in time, I would hope that I do not stoop to this level of depravity.

One would morn the loss of a perfectly good Spot if Negaspot were to be brought into existence and made flesh. A headless Spot would be forced to suffer the crimes of an unfeeling god. I don’t think I could live with these consequences after the virus has passed.

Perhaps the headless body of this Spot could be attached to the end of another Spot, creating an eight-legged extra long DoubleSpot. Two crimes against beanie baby god for the price of one! The price of which would be literally under 5 dollars because beanie babies are worth nothing now except for Spot without a spot who mark my words I will get someday. If we are putting two Spots together perhaps we could give Negaspot the tail of the front of DoubleSpot, alleviating the problem of a wasted tail. These are normal things that perfectly healthy and well-adjusted children think about.

If I create Negaspot, send help.

On the topic of spots, I am still very sad I had to postpone the Spot party, as I have gotten her a ton of presents that are now sitting in my room waiting for the party. I did get her a chew rope for the time being as a “sorry we had to cancel your party” gift but it’s not the same man! I want to have that party!

A thought has crossed my mind that when I am in a better state of mind and can therefore judge better if this is a wise use of my time and resources, is that I should commission the creator of Plush Dog Scarf - Little Boy Gift to create a super long, like excessively long, unnecessarily long, Spot Scarf. That was I can give Spot the Plush Dog Scarf - Little Boy Gift and I can have one that is more decidedly an abomination and an affront against the laws of nature.

Since I figure I am providing you all with a lot of unnecessary information, I feel the need to let everybody know that in Paper Beast there is a big plant-serpent looking creature that eats everything that crosses its path called, and I quote, Voraxo.

Just a nice little tidbit of information. Make of it what you will.