#(everything looks more dull/yellow btw)

[thewirewitch]

Next time I get new glasses lenses I'm going to tell them EXPLICITELY that I don't want any coating on my lenses.

No blue light filter, no UV filter, no anti-glare.

Nothing.

I just want to see colors properly, man :(

[supernaturalscribe67]

Eyes

Words: 8,052

POV: 3rd Person

Pairing: Castiel x Male!Winchester!Reader

Warning(s): Language, multiple character death, torture, TWD reference sprinkled in there, Lucifer being Lucifer, Nightmares, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Animal Abuse (?) idk the butterfly isn't real, Castiel is the sweetest boyfriend known to man

Summary: The reader recently got Castiel back, and he has convinced himself that everything is back to normal, but the past has a tendency to haunt us, refusing to let go. What happens when the one person he loves more than life itself begins to remind him of the one that caused him the most pain?

Request:

Hi! I was wondering if you could do a Cas x winchester!reader(male and romantic) where Reader wakes up from a nightmare, Castiel is there to comfort them, but he refuses to tell Castiel what the nightmare was about.

After more and more repetitive nightmares every night, Cas finally got him to tell him what it was about. It turns out it was about readers' experience with Castifer. (I'm giving you free range with what happened)

The brothers can be there too, or they can be on a hunt, you choose. Thank you! I love your writing sm btw

Anonymous

A/N: It's been a while! In the course of writing this story, which consisted of 38 handwritten pages, we've had two staff members at work quit, leaving only two teachers in the entire center with a director who refuses to be in the classroom, so I've been working open-close, coming in early and staying late off the clock, and just trying to mentally recover over the weekend. Yay us :) I hope to get back in the groove of things now that this request is out of the way, as I knew I wanted it to be long enough to add the detail I had in mind. I hope I did your request justice and, as always, feedback is greatly appreciated!

~ Much Love!

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

The woods near the bunker were beautiful. Tall, thick oaks decorated the skies above. Below sat wildlife. Squirrels scurried about to gather food, rabbits burrowed beneath the base of various tree trunks, robins collected sticks for their nests, and butterflies rested on wildflowers that grew on the spare patches of grass. It was a stunning forest to explore, one that (Y/N) and Castiel had walked through thousands of times, and with each instance, new beauties were presented. There was never a dull moment in nature, which was what the couple appreciated about it. Even the parts of the world that some would consider ugly were attractive to them, and they were loved even more.

They wandered through the woods as they normally did, hand in hand. Their eyes scanned every aspect of the ground below their feet and stopped to mention the most notable elements. One thing that caught (Y/N)’s eye and halted their walk altogether was a stray flower that had grown at the base of a towering oak tree. (Y/N) pulled Castiel to the flower and knelt on the ground to get a closer look. The petals were a soft white, painted with a dusting of woodchips, and the center was bright yellow. Just as (Y/N) was about to reach down and touch it, the quiet flutter of wings filled his ears.

Out of his peripherals flew a magnificent monarch butterfly. It took a moment to brush past his nose before it landed gracefully in the center of the flower. (Y/N) broke out into a large, bright smile as he glanced over at Castiel. He, too, had a smile, only his was softer. Slowly, Castiel reached his free hand forward, his index finger extended. The butterfly confidently climbed onto Castiel’s finger, as if they were old friends. When it was fully nestled in his hand, Castiel withdrew it and moved his hand so it rested between their bodies.

(Y/N) stared in awe at the closeness of the creature. The intricate detail on the wings, the way the antennae moved, the small size of its body, all of it was beautiful. Remarkable. A true gift to the universe.  For a moment, (Y/N) looked up at Castiel, and he could feel the love in his heart. He was so kind and caring. A gentleman - angel if you will - and (Y/N) could not ask for a better lover.

Then his smile changed.

Instead of the peaceful grin he wore before, the corners of his lips curled into - need I say - a devilish smirk. In an instant, Castiel grabbed the butterfly’s wings between his index and middle finger and crushed them. (Y/N) opened his mouth and felt his throat contract, as if to gasp, but no sound came out. He looked up at Castiel’s eyes, and one thing that he noted was the fact that they were no longer the oceanic color he had grown fond of. They were dark, and gloomy, as if to represent an upcoming storm. When Castiel’s look shifted so their eyes connected, (Y/N) felt his stomach drop.

That wasn’t his Castiel.

“Pathetic little creatures, don’t you think?” He leered.

Lucifer.

(Y/N)’s chest rose and fell rapidly in tandem with his breaths. He wanted to run, to scurry away until he was out of sight, but he couldn’t find the strength in him to move. It was as if he was bound to the Earth, held captive by God himself. Lucifer chuckled.

“What’s wrong, (Y/N)? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.” The voice didn’t belong to Castiel, despite wearing the same face.

(Y/N) tracked the movements of his hand - his familiar hand - as Lucifer reached over and brushed his fingers through his hair. Still, (Y/N) couldn’t move. Even his touch was different.

“Oh, how I’ve missed that look. It was so much fun to mess with you. So fun that I just had to come back. Did you miss me?” The last question came out barely above a whisper.

Still, (Y/N) said nothing. He failed to notice that the world around him had stopped, frozen in time. All he could focus on was the terror that reflected in Lucifer’s deep, dark eyes. The eyes of his lover. The lover who was no longer there.

“Oh, it doesn’t matter. The important thing is, now we’re back together! And, in this little dreamland of yours, you can’t get rid of me. No, you’re not strong enough to. Because all you see in front of you is your precious little Castiel, and why would you want to get rid of him, right?”

(Y/N) felt himself blink rapidly. No. He’s not real. Nothing is real. It was all fake, a trick his mind made up to make him suffer. His sick, twisted mind. All he had to do was wake up.

“Sick and twisted is a little harsh, don’t you think?” Lucifer smirked.

Wake up.

“Stay with me, come on,”

Wake up.

“Stay.”

Wake up!

*~*

(Y/N) gasped as he jolted upright. His heart pounded in his chest, eyes blown wide. A thick layer of sweat coated his brow. One good look at his surroundings and he could see he was no longer in the forest. He was in his room, in the bunker. He was safe.

A hand pressed against his shoulder, which caused him to jump and let out a shout of surprise. To his right, Castiel sat on the bed, worry hidden behind his electric blue eyes. Blue eyes. His eyes. The eyes he fell in love with. His safety. As suddenly as he awoke, his nerves calmed and he could feel his heartbeat regulate. 

“Are you alright, (Y/N)?” Castiel spoke with his normal, gruff voice.

It’s Cas.

(Y/N) let out a shaky breath and gave a small nod. “Yeah, yeah, I’m okay. Just…had a bad dream.”

“I’m sorry, Bumblebee. Do you want to talk about it?” Castiel asked as he reached up and gently cupped (Y/N)’s cheek.

He leaned into the comfort of Castiel’s hand. The fear and stress washed away. He smiled a little wider. “It was just a hunting dream, nothing more.” He spoke softly as he reached a hand up to touch Castiel’s.

With a troublesome expression still on his face, Castiel gently grasped (Y/N)’s hand, brought it to his lips, and kissed his knuckles.

“Are you sure? You seemed rather bothered by it.”

“I’m positive.”

Castiel smiled sweetly. “Okay,” he whispered and placed a kiss on his forehead. “Would you like to sleep again? It’s still early, and Sam and Dean aren’t expected back for several more hours. I can hold you while you rest. Perhaps that’ll keep the nightmares at bay.”

(Y/N) opened his mouth to turn down the offer, but quickly shut it. The idea of being held in Castiel’s arms while he slept seemed to put him at ease. Maybe Castiel was right. There was a chance he could feel better that way. More at peace. Then his nightmares wouldn’t appear and, instead, they would be relaxing dreams. He missed those.

“I’d like that,” he said and laid back down on his side, facing Castiel.

Castiel lay beside him, mirroring his position, one arm wrapped under him and the other around his waist. (Y/N) laid his head on Castiel’s arm, nose brushed against his chest, and was instantly filled to the brim with warmth. In his arms, he felt protected, safe, and secure. The same security a child had when they were covered by their blanket. 

Gingerly, Castiel placed a kiss on (Y/N)’s forehead. “Goodnight, my sweet Bumblebee.” As he spoke, it was as if his words dripped with love and adoration.

“Goodnight, my angel.” (Y/N) whispered.

*~*

Just as he was about to drift off into slumber, light kisses could be felt on the shell of his ear. Stubble tickled his neck and cheek, and he couldn’t help but grin tiredly.

“Cas, I’m trying to sleep,” his mumble sounded more like a whine as he let out hearty chuckles.

Kisses turned to nibbles at his protests, and he couldn’t hold back the giggles that erupted within him. (Y/N) tried to swat him away, but Castiel was persistent. After a moment, he began to trail sloppy kisses down his jawline, to his chin, then gave him a peck on his lips.

(Y/N) slowly opened his eyes and smiled up at him, but when Castiel pulled back and opened his own eyes, he was met with a familiar look of dark clouds.

“Thought you could get away from me that easily?” He asked.

(Y/N)’s smile vanished and his eyes widened. He swiftly pulled back from Lucifer’s grasp. In his getaway, his hand fumbled off the side of the bed and he fell to the floor. Instead of the concrete bunker floor he had expected, he landed on a soft dirt ground that was littered with natural debris. As he quickly looked around, he could see that he was back in the forest he had been in before he awoke. In any other situation, he would be full of peace in that setting. All he could feel, though, was a sense of dread.

Lucifer let out a deep chuckle that rumbled the Earth below. He moved to perch himself on the edge of the bed, feet planted on the ground on either side of (Y/N)’s body. The smirk on his face stood out as he looked down at him.

“(Y/N), you wound me! After all the time we spent together?” Lucifer pouted and placed a hand on his chest to feign hurt.

“You’re not real.” (Y/N) breathed.

Lucifer pursed his lips. “Pretty sure I am,” he nodded and stood from the bed so he towered over him. “Maybe I can get another kiss to figure it out.”

(Y/N) began to crawl backward, his eyes never leaving Lucifer’s. “No, no, no! This is all a dream! It’s all a dream. All I have to do is wake up again and you’ll be gone.”

“Oh, sweetheart, it’s so funny that you think you can run away again.”

“Fuck you!”

“Only if you want to.” Lucifer laughed.

(Y/N) sneered in disgust and finally pushed himself off of the ground. For a split second, his eyes left Lucifer, and, at that moment, he had vanished. His heart thumped to the beat of a thousand drums, and he swore he could hear it in his ears. He turned around completely in an attempt to find Lucifer, but he was nowhere to be found. Oddly enough, he found no comfort in his absence. With the forest as eerily quiet as it was, it was as if he was in the eye of the storm. That he could be hunted before he knew it.

And he wasn’t going to stick around for it.

His movements were slow at first as if he were covered in a thick layer of honey. Eventually, he gained momentum and began to rush through the maze of trees. Leaves under his feet crunched and branches cracked under the power of his steps. He did not know where he was headed, nor where he would end up, if anywhere, but all he knew was that he needed to get as far away from Lucifer as possible.

“You can run, but you can’t hide, (Y/N).” Lucifer’s sing-song voice echoed against the trees as if he were right on top of him.

He swore at any moment his heart would give out. If he thought about it too much, he was sure it would explode. He wouldn’t put it past Lucifer.

“Come out, come out, wherever you are.” He sounded closer, but that didn’t break (Y/N) out of his sprint. If anything, he went faster.

“I see you! Can you see me?” Lucifer laughed, and that caused the back of (Y/N)’s head to throb.

The corners of his vision started to blacken and his heart felt like it stopped. At once, his legs seized to function, and his feet scraped against the ground, not enough stamina in his body to lift them. It would prove to be his downfall as, seconds later, the tip of his foot caught on a protruding root. His whole body fell to the ground with a heavy thud.

(Y/N) felt drunk, as if his entire world spun rapidly. A soft groan fell from his lips and he opened his eyes, but he was met with nothing but darkness. He felt so helpless. So lost. So scared.

He had to wake up. 

Footsteps echoed around him as if someone actively encircled his body. They stalked him, teased him, and filled his mind with thoughts that raced, too fast to comprehend. They made him want to run, but his blindness made it impossible.

Have to wake up.

Have to wake up.

Please wake up.

Then, he spoke.

“Waking up won’t do anything, you know. I’ll still be here, waiting.” Lucifer chuckled deeply.

Suddenly, Lucifer snapped his fingers, and (Y/N)’s vision was restored. They were back in the war room of the bunker. Lucifer, still clad in Castiel’s face, had his hands placed in the pockets of his trenchcoat. He began to circle (Y/N), as a predator would its prey, eyes trained on his.

“I’ll be trapped in your little dream world with nothing to do but twiddle my thumbs. That’s okay, though, because I know that, while you’re out there awake and somewhat alert, you’ll be thinking of me. Not only that, but you’ll see me, too.”

“No-” (Y/N) began weakly.

“Yes! You will,” Lucifer’s voice got louder, and the ground began to quake. “Because every time you look at your sweet angel Cassie, all you’ll see is me. All you’ll hear is me. All you’ll feel is me.”

“Cas is nothing like you.”

“Maybe not in terms of charms or amazing personality, but when it comes to looks, we are the same.” Lucifer slowly walked up and squatted down next to him. “While you lay in bed in Cassie’s arms, and you look up at him one more time to say goodnight, you won’t be able to think of anything but me.”

(Y/N)’s jaw clenched. “I won’t let you control me.”

Lucifer let out a low chuckle, deep enough to sound similar to a growl. “Oh, (Y/N). Sweet, sweet, (Y/N). It seems you’re mistaken,” he reached over, grabbed his chin, and lifted his head so their eyes met. “I already do.”

*~*

Another pothole, another curse from the eldest Winchester. Kansas backroads and highways were notorious for their terrible patchwork. The cities and counties would spend weeks on end filling any hole that had been reported only for their work to deteriorate after the next rainfall. It was all a ploy to get more money from taxpayers, and the Winchesters were glad they didn’t have to contribute to such a scam. 

While most in the car sat jolted by the road conditions, nothing seemed to rouse (Y/N) from his slumber in the backseat, something Sam and Dean were jealous of. Castiel, on the other hand, sat worried in the opposite seat. His eyes hadn’t left (Y/N) for some time, and the lack of response from his partner whenever Dean would curse nearly at the top of his lungs troubled him further.

“Have you noticed that (Y/N) has not gotten much sleep recently?” Castiel asked faintly over the car radio.

Dean reached over and turned the dial so the Classic Rock faded into the background. “What was that, Cas?” He asked.

Castiel looked up at Dean for a brief moment. “Have you noticed that (Y/N) hasn’t gotten much sleep recently?” He repeated.

Dean nodded. “I’ve started to notice that, yeah.”

He glanced over at his brother to see that his gaze was straight ahead, earbuds in. Dean sighed, slapped him on the shoulder, then returned his hand to the wheel. Sam flinched and glared at Dean as he removed a bud from his left ear.

“Dude, what?” He asked, offense obvious in his tone.

“Have you noticed (Y/N)’s been losing sleep a lot?”

Sam furrowed his brows and glanced in the backseat at Castiel and (Y/N). “You know, now that you mention it, I have.”

Castiel hummed lightly, eyes still attached to (Y/N). The confirmation from his friends gave him some comfort. “I’m beginning to worry about him,” he admitted. “He’s awoken from numerous nightmares as of late.”

“That’s normal for hunters, Cas,” Sam said.

“Not for (Y/N). He has never had this many before.”

“Have you tried talking to him about it?”

“I have, but he never wants to tell me about them. He only ever tells me they’re hunting dreams, but…”

“You think he’s lying?”

Castiel’s silence answered for him.

“Look, Cas,” Dean began. “Nightmares, to hunters, are a bit of a touchy subject. We see a lot of things in the field and our everyday lives, and (Y/N)’s been through a lot. Maybe (Y/N) doesn’t want to worry you. I think he’ll come around eventually.” 

“You believe so?”

Dean shrugged. “I don’t know. Probably.”

Sam rolled his eyes and scoffed as he put his earbuds back inside. Dean shot him a look.

“What?” Dean asked.

Sam shook his head. “Nothing.”

Dean grumbled under his breath before he peered in the rearview mirror. “Look, (Y/N) loves you, Cas, more than anything - trust me, he’s told me more times than I can count. If there’s anyone he would go to about this problem, it would be you. Just give him time.”

Time.

Castiel was a patient man under normal circumstances, but when it came to his partner, he found that his patience wore thin quite easily if he was in distress. Castiel never liked to see (Y/N) unhappy, and it made his heart ache when he felt he couldn’t do anything to help. How he wished he could take the pain away. How he wished he knew where to start.

(Y/N) let out a soft whimper, brows furrowed tightly, and Castiel cast him a saddened expression. He reached over and softly pulled him closer so that his head rested against Castiel’s chest. While he knew Dean was right, one thing’s for certain;

Castiel hated waiting.

*~*

“We’re on Easy Street,

And it feels so sweet.

‘Cause the world is but a treat

When you’re on Easy Street.”

(Y/N) groaned and leaned his head back against the wall as the song repeated for, what seemed like the hundredth time. A faint laugh could be heard from across the room, but the darkness that surrounded him left him completely blind. He knew it was Lucifer, though. He could tell.

“Come on, cheer up!” Lucifer said. “It’s a catchy tune!”

It was the first time in a while that (Y/N) didn’t feel terrified while he dreamt. In Lucifer’s unorthodox method of torture, he had rather grown quite annoyed. He knew it was Lucifer’s way of getting under his skin, and he was doing a fantastic job at it. It wasn’t long before the short song came to an end, then repeated. Again. (Y/N) let out a frustrated shout and buried his face in his hands.

Suddenly, the lights flickered on and revealed the gray, dull, concrete room that they were in. (Y/N) clenched his eyes shut before he removed his hands from his face to look over at Lucifer, who paced around the room rhythmically as he snapped his fingers to the beat of the song. The music mixed with the bright lights and Lucifer’s arrogant face caused the bottom of (Y/N)’s eye to twitch. When Lucifer saw the look on his face, he snickered.

“Aw, is (Y/N) getting upset?” Lucifer teased, bottom lip pushed out in a mock pout.

“I will castrate you.” (Y/N) deadpanned.

Lucifer hissed. “You know, I don’t think you can do that.”

“I’ll find a way.”

Lucifer let out a loud, boisterous laugh that reverberated off the walls. (Y/N) shook his head and crossed his arms over his chest. Once the laughter died down, Lucifer stared at him intently, uncomfortably so. He lifted a hand and snapped his fingers. The music stopped. Then, it was silent. They stared at one another. Neither broke eye contact. Lucifer tilted his head to the side, and (Y/N) was partially convinced it was Castiel in that body, but he knew better.

“This isn’t working,” he sighed.

Yep, still Lucifer.

“I say you cut your losses.” (Y/N) grumbled.

“I’ll take that into consideration.”

Lucifer tapped his chin and he began to study the stone walls around them. (Y/N) furrowed his brows. There wasn’t much to study. They were just walls. Concrete walls that looked new, as if they had been constructed mere hours propr, and expertly as well. A single light fixture was placed in the center of the ceiling with a bulb bright enough to attract moths from miles away. The room was rather uncreative. Unoriginal. (Y/N) needed to start constructing better landscapes for his dreams.

“I got it!” Lucifer’s voice broke through the silence.

With the snap of his fingers, the room vanished and was replaced by a darker, dimmer setting. A small, abandoned warehouse that appeared as if it should have been demolished decades prior. Broken glass and metal beams littered the filthy floor. The only source of light came from the moonbeams that shined through the shattered windows. He took a moment to stand from his spot as his eyes scanned his surroundings. Lucifer had, again, vanished. He didn’t hold his breath, though, for he knew he wouldn’t be gone long.

“You know me so well,” a voice came from behind.

(Y/N) whipped around and came face-to-face with Lucifer. The real Lucifer. Not the one who hid behind Castiel’s face. With Castiel’s appearance gone, (Y/N) didn’t feel as much hesitation as he had before. All he felt was irritation. Annoyance. His jaw clenched, fists balled up at his sides. Lucifer smirked as he reached behind him and pulled a long blade out. He walked over and held the hilt out to him. (Y/N) took the blade and examined it intently.

“An Archangel Blade?” He questioned.

Lucifer shrugged nonchalantly. “I figured I’d tortured you long enough. You might as well get your revenge.”

(Y/N) narrowed his eyes suspiciously. “You want me to kill you.”

“It’s not gonna kill me. That would be stupid of me to give you something that would get rid of me, don’t you think?”

“Then I’m not interested.”

“Aw, why not? You know you want to.”

“Nope.”

“Please?”

“No.”

“Not even a little cut?”

“No! Now fuck off,” (Y/N) waved him off as he turned on his heel and walked away.

Lucifer’s jaw dropped in shock. He was quick to follow. “So, what? You’re just going to throw away your one opportunity to get revenge even when I serve it to you on a silver platter!?”

Lucifer reached out and grabbed (Y/N)’s shoulder. It was almost instinctual, the way (Y/N) tightened his hold on the hilt, the way he turned at a speed no human should have to face him, the way he grasped Lucifer’s shoulder with an iron grip, and the way the Archangel Blade seamlessly plunged into his stomach was almost a surreal experience. Then, there was silence. Nothing moved, nothing blinked, nothing breathed. It was as if he were part of a photograph or a television show that had been left on pause. Slowly, (Y/N) closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and let it out.

Play.

“This is why you should never let your guard down.” (Y/N) said, eased the blade out of Lucifer’s (?) stomach, and took a step back.

That was when he saw them. The eyes. His heart stopped. Baby blues. Deep blues. The ocean. Wandering sea. Hurt. Sorrow. Betrayal. Death. The sea is dying. No one can stop it.

Castiel.

Castiel gripped the wound in his gut as he stumbled back. In an instant, his eyes rolled into the back of his head and he collapsed. Under his back, a deep, black imprint of angel wings got singed into the concrete. (Y/N) stared at the scene before him, mouth agape, eyes wide, heart still frozen in time. The blade dropped to the ground as if it wanted to part from his shaky hand.

“Cas?” He barely registered his voice as he stumbled down onto his knees beside his body.

He could feel the tears flow down his cheeks and he watched them methodically drop onto his trenchcoat. The sobs built up inside, but were unable to escape, caught in the back of his throat. He used one hand to caress Castiel’s cold, rough cheek. Just as the cries rattled in his chest, a smirk spread across Castiel’s chapped lips and his gaze darted toward (Y/N).

“What happened to not letting your guard down?” Lucifer mused.

(Y/N) let out a loud shout that echoed in the empty building. He fell back and began to crawl away. Lucifer cackled maniacally and stood. The wound in his chest began to close as he stepped closer.

“I don’t know why I never thought of that before! To make you take down the one thing, the one person that means the most to you. But, now that I’ve got you right where I want you, we’re going to have so…much…fun…”

*~*

“Agent Bermudez.”

…

…

“Agent Bermudez?”

…

…

“Agent!”

(Y/N) jumped slightly as he was pulled out of his trance. The cup, that held scalding hot coffee, in his hand jostled, but thankfully the contents remained in the glass. His eyes shot over to the sound of the voice. Dean and Sam stared at him expectedly. It took him a moment to realize that they had been talking to him.

“Uh, um, yes D-Agent?” He corrected himself.

Sam and Dean shared a look before their gaze returned to him. Sam cleared his throat.

“Did you have any more questions for Mrs. Calloway about her husband?” He asked.

It was then that he realized the middle-aged widow had been sat there the whole time. They were in her living room. In her house. The gears creaked in his brain as he attempted to figure out what had happened. When he caught on, he sat up quickly and placed the cup on a coaster that sat on the coffee table between the four of them.

We’re on a case, (Y/N). Get your shit together.

“Um, no, no I don’t.”

The brothers nodded before they turned back to Mrs. Calloway. They stood from the couch, and (Y/N) clumsily followed.

“Thank you so much for taking the time to talk to us, Mrs. Calloway. You’ve been very helpful,” Sam said with a small, sympathetic smile as he reached into his breast pocket and pulled out one of his faux business cards. “Give me a call if you can think of anything else.”

Mrs. Calloway took the card with a smile that mirrored Sam’s. “Thank you, agents. I appreciate you taking this so seriously. David would be grateful. Don’t burn yourself out over it, though. I know how much of a toll this job takes on you.” As she spoke, her eyes were trained on (Y/N).

(Y/N) flashed a small, albeit embarrassed, grin and gave a brief wave. Sam and Dean turned to leave as (Y/N) trailed behind. They let themselves out through the front door and back into the promotional poster for suburban America. Compared to the white and blue colonials with SUVs and Minivans parked in each driveway, the Impala stood out as a historic relic. Once they closed the door, the brothers looked over at (Y/N), each of them sporting their own look with Dean’s of slight annoyance and Sam’s of concern.

“What the Hell was that?” Dean asked, exasperated.

(Y/N) shook his head. “I don’t know. I just zoned out.”

“Yeah, we can tell,” Sam said. “What’s been going on recently?”

“Nothing, I’m fine,” (Y/N) said, although he wasn’t too convinced himself.

“No, you’re not fine!” Dean said. “Look, Cas told us about the nightmares. I get how they are, but these seem to be getting to you. Bad.”

“I said ‘I’m fine’.”

“You’re obviously not, and until you are, I think it would be best if you sat this one out.”

“Dean’s right,” Sam agreed. “He and I can do this one on our own. We’ve done it before. You need to get better.”

“You’re benching me?” (Y/N) growled.

“Yes.” Dean nodded sternly. “Until you’re better, that would be for the best.”

(Y/N) opened his mouth to rebuttal, but knew it would be futile. He clenched his jaw and stormed over to the Impala. He opened the back passenger door, sat inside with a huff, and slammed the door shut. Sam sighed and ran his fingers through his hair stressfully while Dean shook his head. 

“He’s getting bad,” Dean mumbled.

“Yeah, I’ve never seen him like that before. He needs some rest.” Sam said.

“Right, we don’t need him getting himself killed.”

“Cas wouldn’t like that very much.”

“No, he wouldn’t.”

“We still need to interview the employees at the bookstore. You can drop me off there and take (Y/N) back to the motel.”

“No, I’ll go to the bookstore, you drive him to the motel.”

“Why me?”

“Because he’s more likely to talk to you about it. You might even get him to talk to Cas about it.”

Sam gave a small nod. “For once, I agree with you. You suck at empathy.”

“Oh, bite me,” Dean grumbled. “Just get in the damn car.”

*~*

The bookstore sat three miles from the motel. Once they dropped Dean off, (Y/N) moved to the passenger’s seat - much to his dismay - and Sam shifted to the driver’s. At first, the two were silent while Van Halen hummed calmly over the speakers. (Y/N)’s arms rested at his side, head hung down, eyes half-lidded. Sam glanced over at him now and again as he drove through the middle of the small downtown. It was from the occasional peak that Sam truly saw how exhausted he was. The skin under his eyes was dark and heavy, eyes bloodshot. His body slouched, and it appeared as if he could fall asleep in an instant.

“Cas is worried about you, you know.” Sam broke the silence.

“Why?” (Y/N) furrowed his brows.

“Because of these nightmares you’ve been having. Hell, Dean and I are just as worried as he is.”

“I’m fine.”

“See, you say that, but I think the only person you’re trying to convince is yourself.”

(Y/N) looked down at his lap and began to fiddle with his hands.

“We care about you,” Sam continued. “And we hate seeing you like this.”

Sam made a right turn into the motel lot and parked in the vacant spot in front of their door.

“How did you deal with it?” (Y/N) whispered.

Sam looked over at him. “Deal with what?” 

“Lucifer.”

Sam hesitated. “Is that what your nightmares have been about?”

(Y/N) could only nod.

“How long has this been going on?”

“Since a couple of months after we got Cas back. No matter how hard I try, he won’t leave me alone. It’s like he’s really there.” (Y/N)’s voice became shaky and tears streamed down his face. 

Sam reached over, placed a gentle hand on (Y/N)’s shoulder, and gave it a light squeeze. “I’m sorry. I’ve been there before. It’s horrible…you need to tell Cas.”

“I can’t. I don’t want him to worry.”

“He’s already worried, (Y/N), and you’re getting worse by the day. You need to talk to him.”

“I don’t want him to blame himself.”

“Why would he blame himself?”

“Because Lucifer is always in Cas’ body.”

Sam raised his brows and sighed. When Lucifer used Castiel’s vessel as his own, it was tough on all of them, but he knew it was especially difficult on (Y/N). For Sam, it was difficult to see his friend a prisoner in his own body, he couldn’t imagine how hard it must’ve been for (Y/N). To see the face of your lover worn as a mask by an Archangel that tormented the people that you loved? ‘Hard’ must’ve been too light of a word.

“Listen, you know Cas would never do whatever Lucifer is doing to you.” 

(Y/N) sniffled and nodded. “I know, I know. It’s just that it keeps reminding me of when I didn’t have Cas…and Lucifer was horrible when he took over his vessel and I just hated seeing him like that. I wanna forget that it even happened.”

“I know,” Sam rubbed his shoulder comfortingly. “But I think Cas’ll understand.”

“You think so?”

“I think so.” Sam smiled over at him.

(Y/N) reached up and wiped the tears from his cheeks.

“Tell you what,” Sam said. “Why don’t you go in and lay down? I’ll give Cas a call and have him come over.”

“Don’t tell him.”

“I won’t, but you need to. If you don’t, then I will.”

(Y/N) looked over at Sam before he gave a nod. Sam reached into his pocket and pulled out the spare room key, which (Y/N) graciously took.

“Get some sleep, okay?” Sam spoke softly.

“I will. Goodnight, Sam,” (Y/N) mumbled, got out of the car, walked to the door, and entered the room.

*~*

Please, make it stop.

The warehouse was the same as in his previous dream. Still old, still dilapidated. The only difference was the large array of angel wings burnt meticulously into the floor. There was no blood, no gore, no bodies strewn about to remind him of what he did. He didn’t need the extra detail, Lucifer knew that. The wings were more than enough.

No more, please.

“And, again!” Lucifer exclaimed.

No!

(Y/N) gripped the angel blade tight in his hand, despite his mental protests. Castiel appeared in front of him, blue eyes pleading. He wasted no time as he drove the angel blade into his chest. Onto the floor, he fell like a ragdoll and a new etching of wings joined the bunch. He breathed.

It was a vicious cycle.

“Again!”

Command. Kill. Breathe.

“Again!” 

Command. Kill. Breathe.

“Again!”

Command. Kill. Breathe.

“Again!”

Command.

Kill.

Breathe.

He collapsed onto his knees. The angel blade slipped from his grasp and skidded across the floor. His eyes were so wide he was half certain they would burst from the sockets, lips parted to allow the heavy breaths of air to flow. Lucifer’s deep chuckle sounded in his ears as he stepped closer and knelt in front of him. Lucifer lifted his chin so their eyes connected. 

“Good,” he smirked. “You’ve come a long way, my dear hunter.”

Fuck you.

“Thank you, Lucifer,” (Y/N)’s voice sounded fake and robotic.

Lucifer hummed and pursed his lips. “I still hear a little defiance in that head of yours. Perhaps we should keep going.”

No! Please!

“Of course, Lucifer.” 

(Y/N) stood on shaky legs and made his way to the discarded weapon.

No, please, don’t do this.

“You are such a good listener, (Y/N).” Lucifer praised.

Don’t listen to him! Stop!

(Y/N) picked up the blade and held it with a death grip.

Put that down! You don’t have to do this!

He turned so he faced Lucifer, back straight, head held high.

Command.

No!

Kill.

Please!

Breathe.

I’ll do anything!

Lucifer smirked.

“Again!”

*~*

“No!” (Y/N) let out a loud, guttural scream as he shot up from his spot on the bed.

His eyes were red from the tears that stained his cheeks, and his chest moved up and down with the efforts of his breathing. When he felt a hand on his shoulder, he jerked away violently and scrambled off the bed, his legs weak and barely able to hold his weight.

“No, please,” (Y/N) leaned against the wall to keep himself upright. He had his palms pressed against his ears, eyes shut tight.

“(Y/N)? (Y/N), it’s me.” Castiel gently edged himself off the bed and walked over to him.

As Castiel placed his hands on (Y/N)’s shoulder, he felt his body tense.

“You’re not real. You’re not real. You’re not real.” (Y/N) repeated continuously.

Carefully, Castiel removed (Y/N)’s hands from his ears, despite the weak protests. He could feel the way his heart raced, the way his hands shook, and it hurt to see.

“Bumblebee, please,” Castiel’s voice was deep, soft, soothing. “It’s me. It’s Castiel.”

Bumblebee.

(Y/N)’s eyes shot open as he turned his head - eyes, look at the eyes. Elegant waves of blue. Sapphires. Full of worry. Full of life. Life. He was alive. Castiel was alive.

“Cas?” His voice came out hoarse.

“Yes, it’s me. You’re safe.”

Hesitantly, (Y/N) cupped his cheek. His thumb brushed against the stubble that decorated his jawline. The longer he stared into his eyes, the more he felt peace, comfort, a sense of love and longing, home. He brought Castiel close to him and embraced him tight enough that it was sure to hurt if he were human. The grip he had on him was tense as if he were convinced Castiel would vanish at any moment. Castiel returned the affection but, instead of wrapping his arms around him, he placed an arm around his back and another under his knees. He picked him up, carried him the short distance over to the bed, and laid him down. He lay next to him, their arms never retreating.

“(Y/N), please,” Castiel’s breath was warm against his ear. “I know that it wasn’t a hunting dream. Please, talk to me.”

(Y/N) was silent as he reveled in the fact that he was able to hold Castiel as close to him as he was. Alive. He took a moment to think back to the conversation he had with Sam - He’s already worried…You need to talk to him. Based on Castiel’s tone of voice, and the words he used, he knew Sam was right. He had to tell him.

“They’re about you,” (Y/N) whispered just loud enough for Castiel to hear.

At those words, Castiel pulled back ever so slightly, but never took his hands off him. He studied (Y/N)’s face and noticed the way he refused to look at him. His brows knit together in confusion and concern. He reached a hand up to caress his cheek.

“What happens in these dreams, (Y/N)?” He asked softly.

(Y/N) was hesitant to respond, a part of him terrified of the guilt Castiel could potentially feel, another scared at the mere idea of mentioning Lucifer’s name aloud. What if he wasn’t truly gone? What if he heard him? Would he find him? Would he kill him? Would the nightmares he had dealt with for the past several months come true? He knew he had to reveal the source of the dreams, though. Not only for his sake but for Castiel’s as well.

“It’s never really you in the dreams. It’s always Lucifer inside your vessel. He started by teasing me, mocking me, and then…he started to torture me. It was stupid shit at first, stuff that didn’t really hurt me. Then he brought you into the picture.” (Y/N)’s voice began to shake as tears appeared in the corner of his eyes, a result of recalling the events of his nightmares and exhaustion. “He made me kill you, Cas.”

Castiel was quick to pull him back into his arms. He brought their bodies so close together that it was as if they were one. At the warmth he felt wrapped around his body, (Y/N) finally let himself cry. Hard.

“And I try to stop him,” (Y/N) sobbed. “I try so hard, but nothing I do seems to work, and I have to kill you over and over and over again and he won’t let me go. I know he’s not there, but he feels so real.”

Castiel shushed him gently as his hand rubbed his back soothingly. They simply held each other as (Y/N) let out all the sadness, pain, and frustration he had kept in for the longest time. With each cry, with each shake of his body, Castiel felt himself break. The man he loved, the man who stole his heart, sat shattered in his arms, and he felt responsible.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered into his ear between sobs.

(Y/N) shook his head. “It’s not your fault, I knew you would do that.” His voice was broken and shaky.

“I let Lucifer in.”

“But you couldn’t control his actions. Lucifer is to blame, not you. I could never blame you.”

“But if I would’ve-”

“Lucifer would have found a way, we both know this.”

By then, his cries had mellowed out to mere sniffles and hiccups with the occasional stray tear. They spent the next several minutes holding one another, silent. The room started to get dark as the sun set, and (Y/N) couldn’t help but wonder where the brothers were. How they were doing on the hunt. He hoped his debilitating exhaustion hadn’t cost them any valuable time or extra hands they may have needed. It wasn’t long before Castiel spoke once more.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” He asked.

“I didn’t want you to blame yourself. I knew you would. There isn’t anything you can do about it anyway. I thought I could get it under control.”

Castiel paused before he pulled back. “Maybe I can. May I try something?”

(Y/N) hesitated before he shook his head. “I don’t want to go back to sleep, Cas,” he said, voice laced with uncertainty.

“Trust me, Bumblebee, please? I believe I know how I can help.”

(Y/N) sighed. Despite everything he told himself, he was exhausted. He had been for the past several weeks, and the strength he previously used to keep himself awake had all but faded. He didn’t want to have another nightmare, but if Castiel could help him, he had to give him a chance. (Y/N) gave Castiel a quick peck on the lips.

“I trust you.”

Castiel smiled warmly. He nuzzled his nose against (Y/N)’s and grabbed the comforter. He draped it over their bodies. He shifted so their legs were tangled together, wrapped his arms around (Y/N)’s waist, and rested his forehead against his. He began to rub his back in small, slow circles, and (Y/N) could feel his body instantly relax.

“Get some sleep, Bumblebee. I promise I’ll keep you safe. I love you.” Castiel whispered, and his words alone sounded like a lullaby.

“I love you, too, Cas. So much.” (Y/N) mumbled back.

With the warmth of Castiel’s embrace, (Y/N) was quick to drift off once more with a new hope of content slumber.

*~*

Nothing. That was the best word he could use to describe where he was. It wasn’t dark, nor was it light. It wasn’t a basic abandoned warehouse, nor was it a location embedded in his memory. It was simply and utterly nothing. Although the implication of ‘nothing’ meant the absence of ‘something’. The question was: what was missing?

“Bumblebee?”

(Y/N)’s head perked up at the nickname. He began to look around but found no source. There was still nothing.

“I’m here, (Y/N).”

As he turned around, he was blinded by a bright light. He squinted and shielded his eyes. From the light, a heat radiated off of it and surrounded him like a blanket. He felt the urge to go to it as if a rope had wrapped itself around his waist and begun to pull. When he walked, he floated. His legs didn’t move. It was unknown what waited beyond the light, but whatever it was made him feel safe, loved, and wanted. Soon, the light engulfed him, and he was blinded once more.

When his vision was restored, he was welcomed to a sight he had never witnessed before. Yellow, sandy beaches surrounded by a deep blue ocean. The sun seemed to sit where it barely kissed the distant waves, giving the sky an orangish pink tone. In front of him sat a pier, one that he was no stranger to, yet he had only seen in movies and television shows. ‘Pacific Park’ was inscribed into the archway of the entrance. Behind it sat various theme park rides, all small in size, but worth the experience.

“(Y/N)?”

(Y/N) turned to his right to see Castiel, a small smile on his lips. He was uncertain at first, but once he saw the brilliance in his eyes, he relaxed and mirrored his smile. 

“Cas,” he breathed, reached over, and took his hand. “Is this the Santa Monica Pier?”

Castiel looked up at the archway and nodded. “I’ve been here once during my exploration of Earth, and you mentioned that you had never been here before.”

(Y/N) shook his head and pursed his lips. “I think I’ve only been to California a handful of times, most of which were up North near Red Bluff.” He said. “But why are we here?”

Castiel gave his hand a gentle squeeze and began to lead him down the pier. Unlike the true Santa Monica beaches, these were barren. Not a single soul resided on the pier or beach besides (Y/N) and Castiel. It would have been an eerie experience had it not been for the sound of the roaring sea.

“Your nightmares focused on memories, or memories of how Lucifer was, correct?”

“Right?”

“Well, I figured the best way to rid you of those memories is to create new ones while you dream.”

(Y/N) couldn’t stop the grin that spread across his lips. “Like a date?”

“Yes. A date.”

“So, what? You’re going to take me on a date every time I dream now?”

“If that’s what it takes to stop the nightmares and allow you to get some sleep then we will have dates every night while you dream for the rest of your life.”

(Y/N) stopped in his tracks and slowly pulled back on Castiel’s hand. Castiel looked back at him and tilted his head ever so slightly. (Y/N) grabbed Castiel’s other hand, brought both of them up to his lips, and kissed his knuckles.

“Castiel, you are the best boyfriend that anyone could ever ask for. I don’t deserve you.” He said.

“No, Bumblebee. You deserve the world. I would love to give it to you.”

(Y/N) reached up and cupped Castiel’s cheek. “I have my world right here.”

He pressed his forehead against Castiel’s. Their noses brushed against one another, then they kissed. It was short and sweet, but it held all their love and passion behind it. When they parted, they stared deeply at each other. 

“I love you, Cas.”

“I love you, too, (Y/N).”

(Y/N) beamed and dropped one of Castiel’s hands. He began to drag him towards the theme park rides.

“Now, come on! I’ve always wanted to ride these!”

Castiel followed at an even pace behind him, and he couldn’t help but feel the guilt and pain that had built up inside of him wash away. To see his partner shine with happiness was an experience he would not soon forget. He made it his mission, from then on out, to guarantee that every dream (Y/N) had would be just as wonderful, if not better, than the last. For, as long as they were together, Castiel pledged that nightmares would be a thing of the past, never to plague the mind of his beloved until the end of his days. 

[izbelross]

Chapter 1 of Por la vida que soy libre

A/N: SO!! Here it is, the first Chapter, it will set us on the plot, be careful with the little chats between our protagonists 'cause they might make you believe something will happen but... are you sure it will happen how you expect it? 😏🥰 Btw I am in love with Sam and Bucky being in a relationship and no one can take me out of that fucking ship, thank you 😘 There are gonna be mentions of more characters in the future and appearances, beware. Tell me what you think my unknown friends of the deep fandom internet hole I'll love to read you as well.... and I tried doing reader gender neutral, forgive me if I failed that task.

My first taglist!! ASDFGHJKLÑ

Taglist: @scoliobean 😌🥰

Pairing: Matt Murdock x Black Widow!Reader x Frank Castle Soulmate au!

Warnings: angst ( i think all of my works have angst fuck) / fluff and fluff / enemies to friends to lovers (kinda) / violence, torture ( not that graphic) / character death / happy ending / drama / Very harsh language

Word count: 6,4K

Summary: everyone is born with a soulmate (a/n: wouldn't that be mental?) Soulmates can hear their thoughts since childhood, some others up until they're older. This connection only becomes stable when soulmates meet, but as it can be nourished to bloom into something solid it can also be stopped. Soulmates come with a free choice, you don't die without them, you can learn to live with the one of your choice, free will no matter what. Although those who chose their destined ones can coincide in one thing: "You could never regret it". But when you are raised like a puppet of violence, your free will in every aspect of your life seems to have never existed. Along with your chance of meeting the ones destined for you.

Prologue

Chapter 2

Chapter 1

"What is it they say about destiny? Do you remember? No matter the path, it always ends at the beginning."

.·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·

The deafening sound of the London streets was a common occurrence at this hour of day. You were pretty sure that even if half the population left, the sound will still be as irritating, just as in every other city with busy capitals actually.

Vendors were trying to lull you to their little shops and a few street singers and dancers were giving life to the dull weather. Some of them wore capes, others barely any clothes to cover them up as how the play required it of them and thankfully for you, this was playing at your favour.

Dressed like one of the actress, you stood --as once did the lover of Shakespeare-- knee length boots, black trousers, white chemise and a long red cape that when you turned it over it became yellow. It was a decent outfit, meanwhile you stood aside the play, watching as a replacement of one of the actors and scanning the crowd in search of your next target.

Was a sad day when one of your lasts contacts betrayed you, selling your name and letting you down in the mud, meanwhile they took what you earned with your own sweat and time, your plan and your ammo.

Second chances were never given from you and nothing else could be say out of it. So, even if they had begged for your understanding, payed you the exact amount and more of what the contract said, you weren't near to trust them again nor let them free of punishment.

They could call you revengeful or a piece of shit that had no compassion. But you had learned by bad experience that not everything could be rose gold and shining and forgivable.

So here now you stood, watching as the crowd stared at the actors, laughing, tearing up with them.

You counted the seconds away from the Restoration of Trust plan. And at exact 3 o'clock, the piercing scream coming from one of the bystanders rippled through everyones ears.

You watched amused as a very drunk man was thrown out of a car by two men that started screaming at him, followed by a beautiful woman -- who you had payed earlier-- that looked beaten and traumatised. They three, started the new spectacle once the taller man spotted your red cloak between the greys and blacks of the crowd. Suddenly, the play wasn't as important to everyone as the poor girl that was crying so loud even some of the workers from the surrounding buildings took a peak outside.

The culprit still trying to come back to his senses, looked from here to there, not understanding what had happened, but as soon as the people around got the point of it the morality kicked in.

It would be a miracle if the man didn't die from all the pushes, kicks and punches from the enraged crowd. Honestly, it was amusing to watch, but you didn't have the time.

Waving a hand at the woman that was now being protected by... well, everyone, you took your leave at her slight nodding.

~~~~~~~o.o~~~~~~~~

Being alone in what was left of this world, after Thanos, after Stark passing away, Rogers choice and- well, Natalia's' dead, meant that the family you made along the way, the family you found after being ripped from your biological one, would never get over the loss of such important members. And it was there, at the eyes of the entire fucking world, that the Avengers were no longer a group to reach, they became more a group to remember.

You would be lying if you said it didn't hurt, that it didn't pain you.

Even more at knowing that for five years your existence had been reduced to nothing and that when you returned, everything had changed, the people had grown, the time had passed and you still were wearing the combat suit in which you dusted away.

"Attention passengers, we'll be arriving soon, please take a seat and fasten your seatbelts"

Upon arriving to the States, the entire point of your travel lost meaning for a moment while you basked in the expanse of the difference between cities, the white of falling snow welcoming you. America would always be an exciting place to visit and wander, from South to Centre and North.

The memories you made plagued your mind. The people still alive that you cared for was still in the surroundings, trying to do good. Helping others that still needed them and guarding each others back. Yelena, Bucky, Sam, Sharon, Wanda, Strange. These were names that warmed your heart with only imagining what they could be up to, if they remember you as well as you did them.

Indeed, America was your home, even if you had been born in any other place, it became your home because your family was still here, waiting for you to come back.

Giving a long, long sigh you waited until getting out of the plane to call your sister.

~~~~~~~~o.o~~~~~~~~~

"Hey красивая" you greeted Yelena just as she answered the call. "I'm on my way home, call the Captain and the Sergeant and tell them not to-"

Suddenly the sound of rustling and 'what the fuck dude!' Followed by more struggling cut you out of words. You rolled your eyes, already knowing who it was making the mess at the other side of the line.

"Hello sweetheart! How's been the most annoying being on the planet?" The purring voice of a man reached your ears and the chuckle hidden on his words made your smile widen.

"Hello to you too Barnes and well, you probably have been sucking Wilson's cock, right?" A snort of amusement and a hearty laugh rumbled all the way to your side of the line, a faint 'Oh yes, he has' made you laugh as well.

Bucky screamed at the voices and then he was back to you "And you shut up too, you leave for ages and the first words you tell me are those? Rude. Here, you deal with them..."

"Wait! Bucky! C'mon, don't be like that! I was joking!" You screamed between your wheezing but he ignored you and Sam's own laughs were your only answer.

"Now I have missed you (y/n)."

"Big Sam! Mi hermano! I have missed you so fucking much too, you all. How's Yelena? She wants to punch you in the face already? Or she waiting for you to give back the phone?"

"Bucky is trying to hold her back with those Mexican candies you sent." You smiled a little at that.

After being away for almost two years with little to non communication, you made sure to at least send two times a year enough presents for them that you bought along your journey, from space --which was a little hard considering you had to leave early given your poor stomach not adjusting to the extraterrestrial food-- and the comings and goings in your sweet, sweet Planet Earth. One of the presents were a lot of different Mexican treats and candies and pastries. Accompanied with carefully detailed instructions in how to cook Mexican food without getting poisoned in the process.

The shipping had been expensive, but you made sure that all the goodies would last them for the entire year or year and a half that you were away. And it had to be enough for the two soldiers, your sister and Sharon, that were the only ones who still had more contact between each other.

"I'll be there soon, I'm actually like two blocks away from home so-" Sam's screamed pierced your ears and you heard a thud before Yelena's voice greeted you with more enthusiasm than normal. She had knock out Sam without doubt.

"(Y/n)! You better get here right now or I fucking swear I'll shoot them- No, Bucky! Those are mine, you metallic slut!" You covered your mouth with a hand so your struggle to not laugh couldn't be heard. "Please (y/n), I can't deal with these monkeys alone and- Oh my god! What the fuck- Just hurry up!" Then she hung up and finally, finally you let out a long string of laughs that made your stomach and cheeks hurt.

The cab turned around and you were relieved to finally see your little home four houses away in the long, long street.

Even if Bucky was tangled with the fairy lights and a big wired deer, both hanging from each side of the chimney that had black smoke coming out in big exhales.

Sam was filming the tries of Sharon at disentangling him without letting him drop or the deer.

And Yelena at the side of the sidewalk and about to cut the string that made weight with the big ass looking deer.

"You sure is here?" Asked you the driver and the feeling of warmth ran through your entire being at answering that yes, those are my idiots.

~~~~~~o.o~~~~~~

"Castle, are you there?" The gentle thud of snow making contact with his large window accompanied Matt tonight. Not many thoughts were in his head but a headache. A constant reminder that last night patrol wasn't entirely healed.

"What'ya need Red?" Answered the man to his head, voice a strong baritone, sign that he wasn't even close to sleepy.

Matt stayed silent for a few seconds, there were a lot of things he needed. Starting for a black coffee that could erase the taste of blood in his mouth or the feel of silk behind his fingers after having to put his hands through broken concrete in search of a girl that was almost buried alive.

But in the meantime, "Tell me 'bout your day."

Frank let out a knowing sound, "It wasn't so different from the others." Murmured, a tinge of shame and tiredness on his voice.

"Didn't expect otherwise."

And so with a long sigh, Frank told Matt the entirety of his todays adventures. From the trail all the way to Canada he had to follow right to the empty radio station on the woods where a man was waiting for him and offered him a hint into one of the helpers for his family's murdered.

"You sure about trusting him?" Said Matt, a frown etched on his injured face. "Doesn't sound like a reliable source if you ask me."

"He knew about Cerberus and The Hand. 'Bout Russo and... and 'bout you, like Daredevil."

The stillness that overcame him was enough to make him forget his injured ribs. "How did-"

"'S'a mutant."

Matt knew what this meant. Frank was going to hunt down these people, whoever they were. And once he found them, then death would be the last thing in Franks mind.

For what seemed like hours neither of them spoke, but on his mind, Matt could hear the soft music coming from Castle's. It was their way of communicating.

Neither of them were good with words, being romantic or sensibles was something that got lost with time. So do the encouraging gestures or speeches they used to say to one another back to when Matt was a student and Frank wasn't a marine. Back when the world seemed to have value or a well drawn line into what they wanted.

But now this was what they could rely on. The soft sound of a ballad or the rhythm in a rock and roll song. The only kind of understatement that they could listen to all day long, while doing their jobs, while going out at night at vigilantes activities. Before going to bed or when the time to visit the cemetery was up to date.

Matt had never spent an entire day with Frank in another way but fighting against bad people. Villains and monsters that lurked the dark. Both of them having become the protectors of those that were in danger. And in those moments, with their soul-bond sighing in relief at their closeness, they never spoke about sensible topics or made a move to touch in a comforting manner the skin of the other.

It was an unspoken rule between them and something they were comfortable at following.

A few seconds of silence passed before Frank spoke again.

"I felt it again," Frank's voice startled him, but before he could ask what, Castle continued. "The pull."

There wasn't needed an explanation for that. The memory was still fresh on their minds, like it was yesterday, when they felt their souls being ripped apart, not from each other but from a third one, a third connection that was calling them with such desperation that they almost got mad with worry and rage and fear.

They couldn't do anything but try to reach that little, tiny cord that was almost broken but persisted, buried deep inside their minds and whoever their third part belonged to.

"I felt it too." Matt cleared his voice, suddenly a dry throat and a heaviness on his mind that mirrored Frank's. "I was at the courthouse when- I felt it more vividly this time, like it almost wanted me to notice."

"Ya think they're closer? Perhaps they feel us too. Pulling to get them."

"I hope so, Frank."

It wasn't of them to talk about their feelings or share opinions about each others lives. But there was a common ground were they two step at the same time, where both Matt and Frank wouldn't venture without the other. They could spent entire nights and days plotting about it, trying to get to a point of understanding and researching non stop until their heads gave up. And it was about their third soulmate.

Back in that day, when the pain radiated out of you and seeped into their minds, they lost all sense of control over their already fallen lives. They had no way of reaching to you, your mind wasn't open, your soul wasn't ready to be with theirs, and from that day on they doubted that it will ever be.

They couldn't search for someone they had never known or talked to or seen. They didn't know the sound of your voice, the world you lived in, your name was a mystery up until today!

"You think they're fine?" Matt's question was one that Frank wanted to say yes to, he wanted to believe with all his heart that whoever their soulmate was and whatever they were doing, they were better than the other times he felt the bond nip at him in a painful way.

But Frank Castle knew better than to wish upon dreams. Frank Castle knew that pain could come in more than physical ways. And not ever once had The Pull being without pain or sadness.

"I don't know, Red." Answered The Punisher, worry lacing his tone, a new heaviness settling in him.

"I'll go with you. To see this man and help you find with the target he gives you."

Castle scoffed "And then what, boy? Ya gonna stop me from getting to them? Think 'bout how it go last time, Murdock."

"I said I'll help you find them, whoever they are. What you do to them is really not my problem, Castle. I've learn that there's no power in this world to stop you from doing your will."

Frank almost laughs at that, there was a very strong power that could stop him from killing those mother fuckers and Matt not knowing it was him, the fucking Daredevil, that had many times unconsciously convinced him to do better was very, very amusing.

"Then better get'ya ass ready, Red. We're leaving in a week."

~~~~~~~~o.o~~~~~~~

Christmas dinner was spend sharing stories of the past, that even if they still hurt, they were welcomed in the tiny living room, lit with candles and warm golden lights. The champagne Sharon brought and her own home made recipe of sweet potatoes and orange turkey was devoured by all of you.

She told you about the entire new team at her disposal and the also new vigilante that everyone called Spiderman and asked you many questions from London, your last stay, the vigilantes from there and if you ever met them in person or worked with them.

The only one that you had contact with was Strange and only in one occurrence. The rest you heard only gossiping; a white masked man or something like that.

Sam and Bucky had an entire drama to tell that lasted almost up until midnight, between Yelena cutting in once or twice to tell you about last year encounter with Clint and Kate, she spent Christmas and New Years there and she confided in you that having a family like that made her tear up a little. It was a home away from home, siblings that treated her like a sister, making fun of her without fearing her, complimenting her looks without wanting anything in return. It was refreshing. It was new and something she wanted you to experience as well. For the New Year you two would call Clint to go there for the upcoming celebration.

And you, you had not much to say that wasn't depressing.

You had been away because Erik needed you. You both wanted to make the world a better place for mutants, but first you needed to make sure the people that were still hunting your fellow sisters and brothers were taken care of, and so you two went on a killing spree all the way from Asia to Africa to Central Europe.

The betrayal wasn't planned but it was expected that, at some point, one of your teammates would fall to the lies of those in power. So you had taken care of each one of the liars and everyone involved.

At the end, Erik thanked you and got to his own way, back to Asia.

You didn't dare speak about all of this at such a happy reunion. They didn't need to know that and you weren't about to ruin the night by confessing that the travel, in search of mutants to aid, had become a hunting for bad people that wanted your entire mutant fellows dead.

That was the end of the night, with you all opening presents and basking in the special little moments of happiness.

~~~~~~~o.o~~~~~~

The morning was cold when you step in your porch, the sun hadn't come out and the lights on the large street were still on, barely giving light to a peaceful white, grey and black morning. The snow ha covered almost every exit at the garage of the houses including your own and you would have to make a new shopping trip in case of a snow in.

You relished on the quite stillness of no one around you, only the cold, cold weather and the occasional chirp of a bird far away.

It was in moments like this when you wondered what would Natalia be doing right now? You liked to imagine how life with her still here would be. Her soulmate was a brilliant person, a truly loyal friend that used to shine upon everyones minds and made the days lighter, even for people like the Avengers.

Natasha adored her soulmate to the point of marrying in secret and gaining the ire of the one and only extravagant Tony Stark. That was an act of love that not even you were sure back then to have accomplished without ending fearing the revenge of the billionaire. You still can remember how Tony didn't stop pestering them both even in their "secret" honeymoon, which he casually invited all of you at the same place where the newly wed couple was celebrating.

Her soulmate, you thought how are they?

Yesterday you didn't dare to ask anyone about them for fear of downing the mood and the fear that came of knowing you haven't cared that much for them since you came back. It wasn't because of a lack of empathy, it was because seeing them and coming back to their shared home where you had been many times hanging out... it pained you.

You still hadn't say your condolences to them or showed up to their doorstep or even asked about them and-

A sudden whisper from a gruff voice made your head rise from the white grass.

You waited in silence just to hear it again. It was a man's voice, you could almost swear you heard someone saying something but you didn't quite catch up the words!

Taking a few steps further, your eyes tried to accommodate to the darkness in front of you. No one was there.

The movement from a bush startled you, but you kept your ground, quickly grabbing the first thing that was at your reach. A pot with a gardenia on it. You kept your gaze steady, your stillness making your other senses come into action, you could almost see the figure of someone right there... between the darkness, the silhouette of long legs and broad shoulders that started to move towards you, a hand that-

"What the fuck are you doing out here?" You let out a scream while turning around and throwing Yelena the pot, which she dodge slapping it away and making a mess of dirt and broken mud all over the front door. "What the hell (Y/n)!"

"You scared the shit out of me Yelena! What the fuck!"

She only grumbled in response trying to clean herself from the dirt on her pyjamas and saying something that you completely ignored, instead turning around and trying to focus again on the spot where the shadow appeared.

There was nothing there.

"Are you even listening? Hell, (Y/n), let's get inside. Jeez."

She turned and entered the house, leaving you alone with her grumbling fading inside the place and your heart still hammering in your chest.

"The next step for us is Clint's home and from there we should be okay with the enormous amount of canned food you bought." Sharon picked one by one the said cans and started placing them inside the cabinets. "You should eat more organics, you could get cancer with this things you know?"

"Talking Bucky out of processed products is like trying to make a dog fly." Said Yelena entering the small kitchen. Bucky smirked, he was in an unusual good mood for being nine in the morning.

"Talk all you want, doll, but the serum would never allow something like that to happen. Besides, I don't like cooking."

"But Sam does like cooking." You said from the stool at the counter. "I can't imagine him eating all this crap, Buck."

"Well, he does have Barnes for snack every day." Sharon mumbled while trying to read the nutrimental values from the pack. Bucky went deep red on his cheeks.

"Okey, that's it. I'm going upstairs."

"No! Bucky! I just came back, don't leave me!" Getting up from your seat you almost begged for him to stay, it was a fun sight; a man so big and feared by many, blushing with the teasing like a teenager. But with him coming from a year where it was uncommon from women to speak like that and he still getting used to it and all, it was actually endearing and understandable.

The teasing came back and forth, Yelena trying to help him understand all your jokes meanwhile Sharon and you tried your hardest to make him blush, giving specifics in how to please men.

Sam entered a little while later, when breakfast was ready and the tone of red in Bucky's cheeks made him arch a brow, Buck only shrugged and send him a wink before continuing eating.

"Sit down, man, Sharon cooked some bacon and pancakes." The Captain looked at you first, trying to gain your attention but you were too lost in your food to notice.

"First there's something you need to see. All of you."

At that, you did locked eyes on his and suddenly it felt very much like when you were all part of the Avengers and a debriefing was given by him, you being told what was the mission and your part on it. That gaze of you probably won't like it but he don't have a choice was one you knew very well.

"What is it?" Sharon took a seat beside you, looking less stressed, just as Yelena. But Bucky knew this man even better than himself and so, he knew that this joyous morning had ended, probably the rest of them as well. You two glanced at each other for a second, returning naturally to Sam's commanding voice.

"Strange sent a message for you (Y/n)" Sam put the envelope on the table, right in front of you.

"For me?"

"It's about Erik Lensherr, he's come back to America."

The air between you and the soldiers turned ice cold in a minute. Even if you haven't told them what exactly you did this past two years, they did knew you were alongside Erik, and he wasn't known for his moralistic tactics.

"He told me he wasn't coming back, not until Charles called him." You took the envelope, opening it with the other, inside were pictures of Erik leaving the airport and going inside a black car, each one of them was taken with a span of few minutes between the ride he made from the airport to the train station, then there were no more photographies. "He said he was going back to Asia."

"Perhaps he changed his mind." Commented Yelena, taking one of the pictures while munching on a piece of well toasted bacon.

"That's not all. He was last seen with a lawyer and his secretary Karen Page, the three of them where seeing entering 'Nelson, Murdock and Page', a law firm at New York. They stayed there for three hours and then only Erik got out. The rest stayed until their normal hours of work."

Sam sent your mobile the information about the entire visit to New York that Erik had made. Apparently he not only didn't tell you about his abrupt appearance but he didn't even let Charles know. He was wearing the helmet all the time, under a very weird looking hat, but yeah, you would recognised that big ass head of his while wearing his helmet at any perspective.

"Strange told me that he went to see him as well and asked some pretty interesting questions about specific people."

"Who did he asked for?" Sharon beat you to ask.

"For (Y/n), although he didn't specify exactly what. Then for some 'The Punisher' and 'The Hand'."

"What kind of names are those?" Sam gave Bucky a pointed look. "What? Its always "The" and whatever it comes next."

"Dude, you were "The Winter Soldier"" Yelena joked.

"And it was embarrassing! Honestly I think HYDRA at least could have come up with something shorter, or at least not as fucking boring." Whined Bucky with energy, Sam was pinching the bridge of his nose.

"You could have been called The Hand." Sharon added.

"More like The Arm, I think." You snickered.

"We are not discussing that!" Shouted a very annoyed Sam, and your entire group tried to sniffle your giggles. "You," he pointed at Bucky that stopped cackling and gave him a seducing grin. "Go to your room and get ready for a mission." Bucky stoped grinning at him.

"What? Excuse you but- I'm the victim here, between these two," He screamed pointing at you and Sharon.

"Barnes, I swear, if you don't move your ass I'll make you." That was a actually the wrong thing to say because the ex-assassin only smirked and was about to give Sam a witty comeback when he started speaking again. "And because if you do not, then you'll sleep on the couch for an entire season."

"YOU WOULDN'T!"

Sam only crossed his arms and the pinch on his brows grew deeper, seconds tick by with Yelena still eating and enjoying the spectacle. Sharon and you were containing with a lot of effort the giggles.

After a few more seconds Bucky finally broke."Fine! But don't expect me to forget your alliance with the little gremlings!"

Bucky left the kitchen and his steps could be heard all the way to the guests room he shared with the Captain.

"He's so wiped." Murmured Sharon and instantly Sam's attention was on her. The blonde went rigid.

"Now you and you," he pointed at Yelena as well "need to get information about the firm that Erik went to. Don't get caught." They shared smiles with raised brows, it was kind of insulting for Sharon and Yelena, but at the heaviness in the air when Sam's attention shifted towards them, they let it slip and abandoned the kitchen. Murmured "see yas" and "byes" left at their path.

Now with you two alone, the entire weight of the situation started to make you sweat. The implications this would have with them and your new re-gotten life.

"Why you didn't tell us? Or at least one of us?" Your gaze dropped to the kitchen counter, hands fidgeting on the cold marble. "Why is he going around asking about you?" A barely heard "i don't know" came out of your lips but even for your ears it was obvious it wasn't an entire truth.

"We're family, (Y/n). We are the only ones left and we have to trust in each other. We need to trust in each other. If not... then- if not then we're not better than before and we all know how that went."

Sam's voice never raised an octave or got lower to a threatening level. It was soft like always, with that tint of understanding even if it was hurting him knowing you hid your real motivation. That was the worst part of it, the trust that he put into his words, behind the thinking that you knew this and understood, it didn't matter that you didn't took it into practice, but the thought that he trusted in you with this ideal, that he believed in you as if you didn't just hide such an important part of your trip to them, that was what cut deep through your chest.

"Sam's right, doll." You took a quick glance at both men, Buck crunched down on the doorway, trying to strap correctly his boots, Sam taking a seat in front of you, sipping from the coffee Yelena surely didn't finish. "We made that mistake many times for us not to learn from it."

Bucky stood up and send you wink, not giving you a chance to say something. "Just think it through, it's hard letting yourself be aid by others, trust me, I would know 'bout it." You smirked at that. "But we all gotta learn somehow, right?"

"Yeah"

Sam looked at you with the hint of a smile, the conversation finally settling in with the calming presence of this two, only disturbed by the sound of your ringtone. Taking your mobile, you arched a brow at the unknown number shining from the screen.

"Who's that?" Asked Bucky.

"No idea" was your murmured response right before taking the call "Who's this?" On the other side of the line the sound of wind got your attention. The soft spoken voice of a woman was soon to greet you.

"(Y/n)?" You didn't dare to answer, her voice sounding alarms in your head, you recognised that voice, you had heard her somewhere, but... the memory just didn't come at you. "Am I talking to (Y/n/ln)?"

"That's me. Who's this?"

"My name is Karen page," your eyebrows rose and Bucky, blessed his enhanced hearing, looked at you in surprise and whispered rapidly at Sam, letting him know who exactly was calling you. "I'm a secretary at Nelson, Murdock and Page's firm, I'm calling for the recent change requested by Erik Lensherr who has come to acquire new documentation in which we will need your assistance for the fulfilment of the last procedure. Can you confirm your assistance for December 28? Or if you wish to reschedule, can you let me know of the date best suited for you?"

You stared off into the distance for almost two minutes, Sam, fearing you were having an attack, kicked your leg under the counter, making you yelp in pain. " (Y/n/L/n)?"

"Yes, yes, I'm here."

"I'll really appreciate if you could give me-"

"I'm sorry, Miss Page," you interrupted "but what exactly is the last procedure? The new- uh, new documentation?" The woman on the other side didn't hesitate when she answered.

"His will, (Y/L/N), you are to sign as the first beneficiary of Mr. Lensherr's will."

~~~~~~~o.o~~~~~~

"It's not funny, Barnes."

Bucky sitting beside you on the back of the car groaned in annoyance. "C'mon, doll, it's fucking hilarious! Now all we have to do is kill the bastard."

"Ugh."

You turned your head, ignoring all the different ideas for the "Getting granpa's will" operation that Sharon, out of the good of her heart provided you with. Sam was driving in the front, the copilot seat banned from everyone, including Bucky, after some pranks that almost got all yourselves into a massive crash on the free road.

Yelena went to the her secret dungeon, where she could easily find the right people and dig further into the lives of Nelson, Murdock and Page. Every little detail that could help in case of... well... it's not that you and the soldiers were paranoids or something, it's just that every thing needs to come with a plan B.

Now you were reaching the building of the firm, a little cornered place need the river, tiny and between more bigger buildings that surely stopped the sun to reach it, but you imagined, since it's kinda new for what little information you scraped, it's obvious that it wouldn't be as big as other firms.

Sam pulled up in front of the door and shutting off the car you all headed inside.

The first glance at the short stairs was like a living nightmare for Bucky and you, flashbacks of- of a very tortuous past coming back. Still you kept climbing until a door welcomed you with the names written on the glass. "This place needs maintenance." Said Bucky.

"All this neighbourhood, you mean." You raised your eyebrows at Sam who knocked on the door, apparently very amused with his little joke. "Shut up, children, and you better behave or else no going to the park later."

Bucky's shoulders slumped and he send you a look , "Are you pretending to talk to dogs or kids?" "Bucky, shut the fuck up, will ya?" The Captain snorted and you could swear you heard someone laughing inside as well.

There was some thrashing behind the door that now the three of you heard before the door swung open revealing a pretty blonde with a soft smile and there goes your heart running, you just couldn't function in front of beautiful people, and you thanked for the first time in your entire existence that your training as a widow helped you remain stoic and gentle. "Good afternoon, I'm Karen Page, we spoke on the phone."

She extended her hand looking at you "Miss Page, I'm (Y/n/l/n) and they are Sam Wilson and Bucky Barnes." Karen obviously recognised the two man standing with you, if she was scared or amazed, she didn't show, instead made you come in inmeadiatly being greeted with no other than the man from the previous photographs. "Foggy Nelson," said the blond man, shaking your hand, he was really cute and seriously you should stop ogling people.

He gave you a professional smile and you walked aside to the second lawyer standing behind the table, with his hands on a cane and that told you everything you needed to know about his condition.

He as well extended his hand and you took it, giving a firm shake "I'm Matthew Murdock, it's a pleasure to meet you."

Like being dragged by a wave at the ocean you felt your brain being turned over and thrown to the rocks, with multiple ideas, so many memories trying to resurface, hidden behind your soft "Pleasure's mine" and calm movements while taking a seat. In front of you, Matt was fidgeting with his hands, minimal gestures that no one noticed, not even you that were about to have a mental breakdown for some unknown reason.

"So," Foggy clapped his hands, getting everyone's attention. "Let's get down to business."

The lawyer started talking about the papers in front of him, signalling some to which you nodded, without paying attention and noticing this he started talking to Sam.

You didn't know what was happening, what you were feeling. This pressure in your chest and a longing that dragged you into the ocean, more into the deep waters, it was just like that day, when you were screaming internally, without voice.

The room felt too small, the air coming from the windows not enough to breath.

"Matt?" Foggy's voice didn't even faced you, but still your eyes traveled to said lawyer, sitting still, hands under the table clenching and unclenching and his eyes hidden behind those red glasses, glazed over. Foggy's mood change, not giving a single fuck that you, their new clients, were sitting right in front of them. "Matt, what's wrong? Are you okay?"

His friend blinked once, twice and suddenly he got up on his feet looking at the three of you intently for a few seconds. When his eyes found yours the turmoil inside your chest wanted to combust you alive but you tried to will it to stop. "Matthew, what is it?" Asked him Page this time.

He didn't answer, just shook his head and stormed out of the room, not even daring to look back or apologise.

The five of you were silent for a long time, that continued into and awkward laugh of Karen "Uh, heh- He, uh, he does that sometimes. Don't worry." Chancing a quick look at her you she cleared her throat. "Foggy?"

"Yeah, right, uhm... we should continue."

Bucky turned to look at you, hearing a little the change in you breathing and letting Sam handle the situation at hand. "You okay?" Your gaze found his eyes and suddenly you were back with Natalia and Yelena, three teenagers locked up on the limits of the world, surrounded by chaos and not knowing what to do, how to react. "I don't know."

[addoration]

ok when i say “some girls really don’t need makeup”

what i mean is actually “their skin literally looks the same or even better without foundation”

and yes it’s a personal choice to wear makeup, and i know some people wear it as a mask or a shield against the perception of others, and blah blah blah - this is to say nothing of how awful makeup culture is in general, ofc btw - but,,,

i have struggled with uneven skin tone, acne scars, dry flakey patches, and all sorts of other skin problems - and still do struggle with them!

and im not the type to get jealous, and it’s not jealousy really, more sort of a sadness that i don’t have what these girls have, but —

when their skin is flawless and they still go and put on foundation which, in my personal opinion, adds nothing?? it makes me sad.

im all for funky or sultry or cutesy or fun eyeshadow looks! i love exaggerated blush/highlighter!! i think that even with all the bad stuff about makeup, you can definitely have fun with it and enjoy it without caring about how you’re perceived, but just doing it for yourself! that’s certainly how it works for me - i put on blue, yellow, and pink eyeshadow and i feel fun and young and good! but

ive got bad skin, i said, but i have never hidden it. my (very expensive dior) concealer sits unused in my makeup bag. because idc what ppl think of my skin, and if they can’t see below the surface of a few physical imperfections, then they aren’t worth my time. but i understand ppl who’ve got dermatological problems and want to hide them.

but these girls who have great skin! and still put on foundation! and concealer! i just wonder why? surely it feels annoying having stuff on your face! idek!!!!

and often - i hate to be that person, but sometimes, i will look at a girl n think, ‘you looked better without makeup’

AND I KNOW ITS NOTHING TO DO WITH ME! ITS HER CHOICE TO WEAR IT!!!!! but so often women wear this stuff in order to appear more beautiful to others, and if only they realised that their most beautiful is literally the ‘imperfect’ version. the one that has a couple of acne scars, some large pores, idk. because that’s CHARACTER and that’s what makes faces interesting, and

well what I’m trying to say is that this culture, of which makeup is a large part, of glossifying everything, smoothing over anything that might be “other” or “imperfect” - it’s sad. not only does it make people feel worse about themselves just so they can buy some company’s product and hide their true features, but it’s also boring. i hate seeing these girls that all look the same, same makeup look, etc, because……. it’s dull. where’s the character.

idk my feelings on this matter are so complicated, as you’ve seen? because yes on the one hand, it’s a woman’s right to choose to wear make up. but on the other………. its so damaging.

[stickyy]

could i get a reader x ururaka where the reader kidnaps her and forcibly 'protects' her by coddling her and keeping her in a soft room with everything she could need and not letting her leave, even if it means restraining, or even injuring her? tysm! i'm really looking forward to seeing your blog grow! (btw if you cant/dont want to write ururaka, midoriya or shinso are also good!) ♡

thank you so much for your kind words!! :D i hope you enjoy, i kind of went for a more somber tone bc i like Angst, so this was moody and fun to write!

warnings: yandere!gn!reader, kidnapping, very mildly graphic mutilation (hands and ankle), drugging mention, very vague vomit mention, angst, best friends to lovers (gone wrong) /s

word count: 1.5 k

note: the scene describing mutilation is sandwiched by two dashes (-), incase u dont want to read it :D

AFTERMATH

The pattering of rain against the kitchen window is loud, accompanied by the sizzle of food on the stove and the distant chatter of news anchors coming from your TV in a domestic cacophony of sounds. It’s a Saturday morning, and it would be a pretty relaxed one if not for the deep pit of dread in your stomach. You had a rough night, to say the least. Trying to keep yourself present, you rub the dark bags under your eyes as you tend your routine of making breakfast every morning. Maybe a meal between the two of you will fix things. You hope so, at least. You tune into the television in an attempt to distract yourself.

“... are still in search for missing Hero, Urav-”

You’re suddenly uninterested, shutting the cable off with haste. Breakfast is as good as finished, anyways. 

The house is quiet, save for the rain, and the silence settles as a sickly chill under your skin. Taking your time to ensure your footsteps are quiet, you head towards the door at the end of the hallway. The normally innocuous door frame looms over you and you want to shrink away, go back to a time where things were okay. You place the tray on the small table outside of the room, fishing for the keys in your pocket. There are 3 locks; two require keys, while the other is an opposite facing deadbolt. You make quick work of opening them, daily practice rendering you nimble. With the door open and the keys back in your pocket, you grab the tray and push the door in with your hip, your stomach dropping and your heart fluttering simultaneously at the sight of Uraraka, still sleeping peacefully.

You place the tray on her bedside table gingerly, opening the curtains to her window afterwards. The dim, muddy light wakes her, her form stretching under the plush covers.

“Good morning!” you chirp, over enthusiastic as you sit on the edge of her bed. Her hair is messy, skin splotchy from laying in one place all night (you give her sleeping pills at night, and they tend to keep her in one place). She rubs sleep from her eyes cutely, sighing before speaking to you.

She hums in response. Even when she’s angry, she’s always so polite, sweet enough to offer you any response after what you did to her. Her gentle voice, no matter if she’s laughing or talking or screaming or crying, is music to you. The noise does more to set you at ease than you’d like to admit, her voice like stitches to your wounded heart. You can’t help but smile, warmth spreading over your skin. You love her so much, it’s why you do what you must to keep her safe.

“Did you sleep well?” you ask, as you do everyday, setting up her breakfast in front of her. She’s silent. You expect as much, yet it still stings, and you spare a glance at her to see an expression you can’t quite read and don’t quite like. That’s all it takes for the pit to return, guilt and remorse stirring through your veins. You can only muster offer a soft noise in response, sitting back with your own plate of food. You start first, choosing to focus on the flavor of the food, the softness of the duvet, the rain- anything but the silence. 

But it’s so difficult; you want nothing more than to be able to ignore her, to not feel so attached and needy and sorry. She burns so brightly, even when she’s upset, and you’re a moth to the flame, unable to look away for long. You don’t even realize that you’ve scarfed down half of your food, but it’s glaringly apparent when you look to Uraraka’s food to see it untouched, cooling rapidly. You glance at her face yet again, and her forlorn expression prompts you to break the thick silence.

“Does it still hurt?”

She flinches but doesn’t respond, hugging her arms to her chest and turning away from you. The rain is deafening against the window, and you notice you’re not hungry anymore.

“I told you I was sorry,” you say softly, eyes unconsciously darting to the bandages on her hands, trailing down to her legs, obscured by the covers. She continues to ignore you. You can’t take it, you need to hear her say something, anything.

 “You know I hate hurting you. I hate it, but you tried to run again. Why? We’ve been doing so good, I thought you were happy! I thought you finally understood! You have everything you need here, and even if you don’t, I can get it for you. I’m not even mad, not anymore, so please just-”

“Just let me leave,” her voice is hoarse, and you can see stray tears trailing down her flushed cheeks, pained eyes trained on your face. You swallow, using all of your willpower to turn away from her gaze. You stand suddenly, taking a deep breath before heading into the bathroom, grabbing the first aid materials you left in there. You make the executive decision that it would be better if that conversation never happened, so you pretend as such when you return to the room, replacing your somber expression with a warm smile.

“Let’s get this cleaned up,” you peel back the covers and take a look at her ankle. 

-

Her shin is twisted slightly straightened yet still awkward in angle, absurdly swollen, skin littered with large splotches of wine purple, faded blue, and putrid yellow bruises. It looks like it hurts, and you feel yourself deflate, guilt chewing at your insides yet again. You’d never meant to do this to her, but you had no choice. Last night, while you were cooking dinner, you figured you’d let Uraraka keep you company as you chopped vegetables, seeing as she had been extraordinarily compliant recently. That was a mistake, as you had to act quickly when you heard the screech of the chair pushed back suddenly and the loud stomp of feet against hardwoods. You caught her before she could reach the front door, threw her to the floor, and in your irrational fit of panic you stomped hard, once, twice, three times, over and over until the sickening, dull crunch of bone snapped you out of your frenzy. In all of your time with Uraraka, both pre and post living together, you’d never seen her cry quite like this. Her loud, pained, fearful sobs made your stomach turn, and no matter how hard you tried to console her, she wouldn’t stop, thrashing to get your arms off of her. She couldn’t move far, and so you had to wait and watch her writhe in agony until she tired herself out, chest heaving, face covered in tears and snot and drool. You helped her to her room and quickly wrapped the wound, leaving her alone for the rest of the night. You were unable to sleep, hunched over the toilet for the majority of the early hours due to waves of nausea, crying spells ebbing and flowing.

(The bandages on her hands are different. Ridding her of her quirk was the only way to ensure she’d stay put. You’d had a few drinks, taken the largest kitchen knife you owned, and did what you had to. The wounds were cauterized and healed, but you kept the bandages on so she wouldn’t have to look at the scar tissue where the last ligament of her pinky fingers were missing.)

You clean her ankle, gently caressing the distorted flesh with rubbing alcohol. She returned to her reticence, save for small (cute) pained noises when you pass over a particularly tender spot. You take solace in the moment, cherishing the chance to take care of her. 

(When you rewrap the wound, you’re deliberate in doing it incorrectly. It will heal, but it will heal wrong, and then she’ll have to rely on you to get anywhere. The idea is tantalizing, and you suppress a shiver.)

-

“There, all done,” you grin up at her, surprised to find her looking back, expression exhausted but aware, awake. You pack the materials up quickly, climbing back onto the bed. You take note of her breakfast, undoubtedly cold now.

“I can heat that up for you.”

“‘M not hungry.”

That’s that, then. You decide not to push, instead opening your arms in a gesture of peace, knowing how much she loves (tolerates) your cuddles. She gives you a scrutinizing look, before nodding once, the only invitation you get. You move the tray to her bedside table, quickly scooting next to her and wrapping your arms around her gently. She doesn’t quite reciprocate, settling for just leaning against you, but you’ll take anything you can get. Your nerves are set alight, and you vow to yourself that you’ll never hurt her again. You know you did the right thing, keeping her fed and pampered and safe. You’d make up for it, devote yourself to seeing her smile again, even if only once.

“You’re not mad at me, right?” you can’t help but ask, always seeking her approval. 

She’s silent. The rain doesn’t stop. 

[apenapaperandadoofus]

omg mandy i love your event so much. how about when she loved me + jumin? c:

Aww thanks Allie :3 I hope you're having a wonderful day btw~

This is in general a very good angsty song so uh, I'll have to put our boy through sum sad shit (I'm sorry bby I'll make it up to youuuu) but who am I kidding I love writing angst >:)

Prompt from: Give me a disney song+character

When she loved me (Jumin x MC angst)

Song (you can listen to it whole reading :D)

When somebody loved me

Everything was beautiful

Every hour spent together

Lives within my heart

Jumin smiled as you laid on his chest, the two of you sitting on the balcony of your home. The sun was setting, colouring the whole city and sky with different shades of yellow, orange and purple. You contently sighed and closed your eyes, making Jumin smile.

"I love you." You whispered.

"I love you too."

.

.

.

And when she was sad

I was there to dry her tears

And when she was happy so was I

When she loved me

You sobbed even more, and Jumin rubbed circles on your back trying to comfort you. He wasn't exactly an expert, but he was getting better at helping people with their emotions.

"It's alright my love, let it all out." He whispered reassuringly.

The next week you were crying, but this time they were tears of joy. Thankfully you were feeling a lot better, and the two of you were laying in your bed laughing at some stupid video about a cat. Jumin's smile grew wider the more he looked at you, barely able to breathe due to the laughter. He felt himself fall even deeper for you.

Through the summer and the fall

We had each other, that was all

Just she and I together

Like it was meant to be

"HAPPY NEW YEAR!!" You all yelled and raised your cups.

The sky lit up with a bunch of fireworks, making everyone gasp in awe. You kissed Jumin on the cheek and when you pulled away he grabbed your waist and pulled you in for a more passionate kiss.

"Ew guys go get a room~" Saeyoung teased, while Yoosung sighed beside him.

"AHHHH so lucky!!! I wish I had someone to kiss" he cried, and then he let out a terrified shriek after Saeyoung suggested that he could kiss him.

You laughed as you hugged your boyfriend.

"Let's have another amazing year Jumin!" You said and he smiled.

"Of course love, it'll be amazing if I get to spend it with you."

You two shared another kiss as you held each other in a loving embrace.

And when she was lonely

I was there to comfort her

And I knew that she loved me

The two of you laid in bed, holding each other close in a warm embrace. Jumin kissed your forehead as you held him tighter.

.........

So the years went by

I stayed the same

But she began to drift away

I was left alone

Still I waited for the day

When she'd say, "I will always love you"

Jumin stood in the hallway as he looked at you. "Are you sure you don't want Driver Kim?" He asked.

You shook your head. "It's fine. I've already called a taxi. I'll go and wait downstairs."

Jumin could only watch in silence as you grabbed your suitcases and opened the door without looking back.

Jumin sat on the couch and took in the silence of his apartment. He laid back and grabbed the things you had given him before you left. He looked at the spare set of keys he had given you to his home all those years ago. Then he felt his heart clench as he looked at the ring he had bought for you. Jumin felt his jaw clench and his eyes tear up as he remembered the night when he proposed. That night....what he would give to go back...back to when he believed that the two of you would be together. He would've never imagined the two of you fighting just a few years later. Or you leaving.

He put the things back. Looking at them only made his heart break even more.

Lonely and forgotten

Never thought she'd look my way

And she smiled at me and held me

Just like she used to do

Like she loved me

When she loved me

He would always dream about you. He'd reach out only to...feel the empty air beside him.

Every night he sat on the balcony drinking wine and looking at the city below. He remembered the times the two of you would spent it in here...whispering words of love to each other.

Everything was dark, grey, dull. He kept working like normal, but he wouldn't log in the chatrooms or even look at his phone. He learned his lesson when he saw you post a picture with your new partner.

He thought he had been over it...but it still hurt.

When somebody loved me

Everything was beautiful

Every hour spent together

Lives within my heart

The clock striked midnight, and fireworks lit up the sky. Jumin sat on his sofa, looking out the window. The house was quiet and lifeless. Jumin placed his head on his hands and let out a pained sob. Elizabeth jumped up from the other side of the couch, surprised, and then made her way down to rub against her owner's legs, trying her best to console him.

When she came up and got on top of him, she seemed to almost be telling him that it was going to be alright. Jumin cried that night.

He couldn't help but repeat all those moments spent with you over and over again.

Back when you were together

Back when you were happy.

Back when...when you loved him.

[sputnikissweet]

a few irks i have with the new winx club adaption “fate” on netflix

none of the gifs are mine btw!

Musa was inspired by Lucy Liu, An Asian Actress yet they still casted a white woman. It wouldn’t kill Netflix to hire someone Asian...

Flora was mentioned as Terra’s (replacement flora) cousin but why can’t they just keep the original flora? I like how she’s plus sized but couldn’t they also cast a woc? seeing as how Flora was inspired by Jennifer Lopez. Again wouldn’t kill Netflix to hire a WOC

WHERE IS KIKO?

Why did they also completely erase Tecna? If they do the Valtor storyline (my personal favorite) then who would sacrifice themselves to close the portal at Andros? I love all the girls but honestly only Tecna could survive down at the omega dimension with all her wits and resourcefulness. She also carries them with her logical, let’s not forget when she literally made a device to get through Alfea’s protective shield... the protective shield was caste by FARAGONDA, one of the strongest fairies! and Tecna easily made a device to get through it!Tecna is literally of voice of reason along with Flora, oh wait...

I like how the “Fate” Stella initially goes against the vain princess character (from what i’ve seen from teasers at leats) but that is who she is and one of the more major character development she has !!! It was especially prominent in season 3. The first instance was when she was cursed to be a monster and of course she lost confidence because of it but by the end she realizes that everyone she loves still loves her good looks or not and starts to come to a realize that her looks arent everything. In the water stars episode, she gives up her face for the stars and it just goes to show how much she’s grown because i know season 1 Stella definitely would’ve hesitated for a while but she this Stella was pretty quick in sorting out her priorities. She’s not as vain as she used to be.

This is the angst lover in me talking but why did they are they gettint rid of Riven and Musa? last i remember, he actually matures and it was nice seeing him grow up, finally owning up to his mistakes and work on his communication because of Miss Musa.

um... are they gonna do the brandon and sky switching names storyline cause Bloom really did prove herself to other fairies there. specifically the royals. Also liked the lesson of how you don’t need to rely on riches for alliances, you know? also cute realizations for the ship of Brandon and Stella💖

Why are the trix one person?? How is that gonna work with the three witch ancestors thing? Also they had such a dynamic. Though Icy was the “leader” Darcy and Stormy also had those roles for some episodes and some missions, all three worked well with each other despite their bickerings.

I understand that they’re at college but why couldn’t they dress a bit more vibrant? The trailer is actually so dull and lackluster. Yes this is Netflix we’re talking about but they’ve done colorful palettes before for To all the boys i’ve loved before & it was cute & everyone loved it. Stella blends in way too much and she’s the literal princess of the s u n..?? that’s concerning... ( this is a bit too picky but they also don’t go with each girl’s original color pallete? musa is red+lavender, stella is orange+yellow, bloom is different shades of blue, aisha/layla is light green, flora is pink with touches of green and tecna is purple,green and magenta and they just don’t follow it... (the actresses aren’t to blame though)

That’s all for now, unless i can remember more. A few positives though are Bloom and Aisha. They’re the only ones I can actually see as the originals and their outfits are pretty cute considering that they’re college students now. I also like the body positivity because let’s the honest, the original was kinda um.. damaging with that. Now I’m not gonna fully judge Fate based on the trailer and snipets but i am a bit skeptical because i grew up with the winx and absolutely loved it, it’s comforting for me and i just don’t want them to mess it up too much. All that being said, i’m not hating on it! just skeptical!

[bettabluetown]

~A Memory Away ~

(since I don't feel like making a new ao3 account, I'm just gonna post this stuff here. Oh btw, I tried something a little different with the perspective since I haven't written in forever. Another side note, the reader is non-binary.)

[tw: mentions of suicide]

Ch.1

With every breath, pain followed. Blood spilled into the soft blanket of snow beneath torn boots. Vision blurry, nose bleeding, fingernails encrusted with red and speckled with dirt.

The crash.

Dry, drawn out heaves echoed into the breeze. Air kissing every open wound-- their right leg ripped and mangled making it unrecognizable. Snow buried into a fingerless, burgundy oozing hand as it grasped at the ground. Every blink becoming more and more unbearable as the hole where an eye used to be started to fester and burn.

The man.

Ice cloaked stones pressed into aching feet. Sensitive, bruised skin flinching with each tickle of scarce grass. Another bated breath. Another slow, painful movement. Steady.

The journal.

Control. Breathe. Blades of dead grass had brushed under each and every tear. The closest thing to comfort being the chilly touch of wind caressing exposed flesh. They closed their eyes; death was on the horizon, they were ready to give up. They felt trapped, wanting to let go but the fear of what came after made them hold on.

A house appeared just a few inches away. Its door torn off the hinges and buried in dirt. They approached cautiously, stumbling inside and slamming against the interior. Old wooden, abandoned walls propped them up, the fingerless hand hugging the violently ripped apart muscle and tissue that was once their leg. They were lost, far from home, no memory of why or how they ended up in such a place. Dying. All that barely scratched the front of their brain were recent events. The car crash. The man and his chains. The journal.

Agony and anger ran through their veins, knuckles paling, palms bleeding from too much pressure. They gritted their teeth, banging the wall in defeat with a clenched fist. No one wants to die...Not like this anyways.

Soft, warm, tear drained lids slowly closed. The cold had never felt so welcoming like it did in that moment. Giving up wasn't so...bad, if the pain went away then maybe...something clicked in the distance. Loud static echoed in the withering house they sat in. The sound of a radio buzz and a cleared throat snapped their (working) left eye open.

It felt like a fever dream. Some kind of strange saw scenario that they just so happened to get stuck in the middle of. Something began to rumble through; a thunderous, exhausted, showy voice crackling out of the speaker.

"You're tough kid, I'll give you that." The audio stuttered, the sound peaking every so often. The voice that grated pass the radio sounded tired and pained, a forced theatrical tone painted over it.

"You know, I thought you were as good as dead when mega bitch got her hands on you." The voice, it was clearly a man's; It was rough and sounded like it hadn't been used in ages. They suddenly grew worried, the realization that someone or something was watching their every step. "Wh-who..-" They groaned out, the words coming out more painfully than they expected, deciding it'd be better to cut the question short. The decrepit floorboards had creaked with each movement; wood groaned as they assiduously dragged their body to the other side.

Their bloody fingers collided with the desk, smacking the surface as they tried to reach for the radio.

Everything hurt, each bone cracked and shifted; blood had flowed like a river in a storm. A harsh wind hit the decaying house, their body cringed from the chill, a whimper escaping ice cold lips.

"I'm feeling generous, pipsqueak." it sounded like he talked with a grin, like this whole situation was just a normal event for the week; "Make it towards the woods just past that little village you're in and follow the trees with yellow paint. Quite simple isn't it?" Exhaustion and panic grew in the pit of their stomach from those words. The sick game that the man was trying to play illustrated a terrible outcome.

"I- how can I tr-trust you?" An amused chuckle ensued, a pleased response followed. "Well I'll leave that to you, trust is a gamble after all." His smile could be heard with each word that passed him. "Remember, follow the trees with yellow paint..there should be a little surprise waiting for you there." The radio crackled, static cutting abruptly, the sound of his entertained chortle faded with the noise. The silence waded in like the snow outside.

Small clouds of warm breath pushed through purpled, frozen lips; teeth grinding against one another. It took one step--one movement and then the motor could start. Sliding up the wall, they whimpered and held down the anguished groans that were desperate to break free from the confines of their throat. Blood spilled down their chin, dull teeth Nibbled in concentration, the soft flesh of their mouth breaking. Just One step. Another.

Their ankle screamed with each step, the bone Grinding aloud. Snow covered their exposed toes, one hand gripping onto the splintered door frame that welcomed the outside.

Despite the lack of an eye, they could just about make out where the forest stood. A low, dead tired sigh escaped them. The journey was long and to be realistic, they most likely wouldn't survive the trip-- sheer luck and willpower would be the only things that keep them alive. So with a sharp inhale, they began to walk. They weren't even sure if the whole idea was smart, but death was knocking at their door and they decided in that moment that they weren't quite ready to open it.

←–––→

The woods held an untamed darkness. They stood just outside of it, the entrance luring them in with the hushed sounds only the trees could make. Yellow paint smeared on the nearest tree being the only indicator that someone had braved the forest before them. Wind whispered through the dead branches, crows cawed in the distance, and echoed low growls dripping from starved predators waiting for their prey.

Blood smacked the ground. It spilled from every wound they could see. They panted, clouds of breath painting the air. Everything was slowly becoming harder and harder to see. Through half lidded eyes, they could barely make out the next yellow mark, their good hand gripping whatever tree that stood nearby.

The enticing idea of giving up slowed the journey. They entertained the thought the whole way there; thinking that whatever waited for them at the end of the paint trail, might just be as bad as falling to their knees and letting death's cold digits steal away the final breath. It was a serious thought, a question that would be left unanswered, for a soft orange light reflected off the snow. The sun was beginning to set and, like luck being the wonderful bastard it is, a cabin appeared in the distance. A can of yellow paint resting just outside of the little home.

Upon reaching the small cabin, it looked pretty old, made sturdy with care by most likely whomever lived inside. They knocked, cautious. They awaited a trap or rather hoped it was just a hallucination. If it was real, then meeting the homeowner might not be for the best. Although, once bloody knuckles rapped against the aged door, it opened without much hesitance-- it was as if a force pushed the door open for them. There was no turning back, no doubt would cloud their mind anymore. With careful breaths and a final glance back to the forest, they stepped in, the aged cabin door slamming shut as soon as they entered.

[noodle-anon-shit]

Intro time bois-

Hi hello yes I am Noodles- Okay so everything on here is gonna be in character unless specifically said otherwise. Normal blog rules I guess, shouldn't have to explain them, don't interact if your pro ship, homophobic and all that- You can ask questions to any characters that have actually been introduced, character like Pink or Milo don't count just yet. Check out @fandomclutterr 's blog to see my ocs in the rp that's going on over there and btw this blog is specifically tied to that rp. My main blog is @a-random-packet-of-noodles

Short Character Appearance Descriptions:

Noodles: A 5'7" cat hybrid who has short brown hair, dark green eyes, freckles, and is covered in scars.

Gabe: A 6'4" dog hybrid with short white hair, light brown eyes, big tiddy, and has bad burn scars on his legs.

Finn: A 5'5" wolf hybrid with white hair that's shaved on the sides, I forgot his eye color- and a large Chinese dragon tattoo on his left bicep that goes to his back.

Alroy: Commonly known as "Al" is a 6'8" demon who has spikey black hair, very sharp teeth, grey eyes, and the inability to dress like a normal person.

Vex: A 5'11 shake hybrid who has patches of scales all over his body, curly dark green hair, yellow eyes, and large fangs.

Dean: A 7'4" god who is a maned wolf hybrid who has orange hair with black tips, yellow eyes, scars all over his body, and he sometimes has 4 arms.

"Lech": A spirit currently stuck in a 1'5" doll who was one long arm, poorly stitched on legs, and surprisingly a neck. A 5'9" failed cat hybrid who has pale skin, bright green eyes, short black hair, and a dark bruise on her neck that doesn't seem to ever fade away

Mori: A 6'2" spirit of death who wears a hoodie, a mask that has an eye on it, and jeans...I have no clue what she actually looks like.

Pink: A 5'11" follower of Blade who has bright pink hair, dull yellow eyes, scars covering his body, and veins that glow yellow. [Currently unavailable for questions]

"Smile": I forgot how tall he is but is a ice messenger who has white hair, a white mask with a smiley face painted on it, and has large scars on the back of his hands.

Singe: A 6'0" follower of Blade who has short almost neon blue hair, bright blue eyes that have specks of yellow and light green in the iris, his left pupil is slightly deformed and looks almost like a teardrop, and he has a few small scars on his face. He has wires of all colors jutting out of his skin that move around as if they are alive.

Ames: A 14'7" demon who has long, spikey black hair, silver eyes, sharp teeth, stubble, and two large black wings that can switch from just skin to being covered in feathers.

Sam: A 6'4" cat hybrid who has short black hair, bright green eyes, claws, and is hated by most people for being a pervert.

Kioshi: A 19'7" orc who was once the guardian of the underworld. He normally has on a full suit of armor and his pet stone rabbit named Soup on his shoulder. His other form is much shorter and is only 8'2" and he uses it much more often around people

I will no longer be interacting with the rp or rping here but might post art and stuff.

[thdorkmagnet]

Little Starco Part 1

Happy Halloween Everyone!! Today I bring you all something new! This AU is based off of my favorite game in the world right now “Little Nightmares.” It is a super awesome horror game that I have been obsessed with for months and so I figured the best way to deal with my love of the franchise was to do what I always do: write Starco fanfiction! So yes this is all based off the video game but I did my best to make it understandable without having played the game. It was a challenge the game is full of mystery and a tense atmosphere, while also putting in some of my typical fluff so trying to match the style was not easy. Still I hope I succeeded and I hope you all enjoy!

Also as a fair warning, this is a horror game and while I don't have anything too bad in here I did push the T rating quite a bit for this one. So anyone who is easily frightened you've been warned. Please enjoy and have a great and spooky Halloween!

This will be a two-parter btw.

Disclaimer: Star vs and all its characters belong to Daron Nefcy and Disney. Little Nightmares belongs to Bandai Namco. All rights go to the respective owners.

Star awoke with a start, letting out a panicked gasp as she sat up quickly in fright. She took a few deep breaths as the initial fear slowly began to fade, leaving only the tense anxiety she normally carried with her. The only sound she could hear was the steady dripping of a nearby leak and the quiet creaking of the ship as it gently swayed back and forth. For as far back as Star could remember she had been having the same nightmare over and over again, every single night, being engulfed in a suppressing darkness that slowly faded to reveal a woman in a white mask. She would slowly turn around to face Star, but just before their eyes could meet, she would wake up. She didn't know what it meant (but then what else was new) but she had a feeling it had something to do with her past.

Not that she could remember it.

As bad as the nightmares were though, she wasn't sure if being awake was any better, she was still trapped in a nightmare whether she was asleep or awake. But at least when she was awake she could run from her threats.

Star pulled her yellow raincoat a little tighter around her, trying to fight off the sudden chill she felt creeping up her spine and got a quick look at her surroundings. She had fallen asleep in a vent, finding that one of the safest places to rest in, and she usually slept in one whenever she got a chance, even if they weren't the most comfortable sleeping spot. She took a moment to breathe in the musty air and let the motion of the ship soothe her, as she once again allowed her mind to wander as it often did in the quieter moments aboard the Maw.

The Maw, the mysterious ship full of monsters and danger and death. She didn't know what purpose it existed or how she had ended up here, all she knew was that she had been a stowaway on board the ship for a very long time. Maybe she had always been on the Maw, maybe there was no life outside of it. Star had no knowledge of the outside world or even if there even was one, but to be honest she didn't really care. All she cared about was staying alive.

Star decided she had rested long enough (knowing she needed to find some food before the hunger pains started in), slowly starting to crawl her way through the vent.

After a couple of seconds, the dim lighting faded, the small girl now encompassed in inky blackness and Star reached into the pocket of her coat, pulling out her sole possession (excluding her raincoat of course): a small, thin lighter. She flicked the lighter open and there was a quick spark before a tiny flame appeared, helping light the tight space around her and bring some warmth back into Star's shivering form. Star couldn't help but smile as she stared down into the flickering glow, relishing the feeling the small source of light brought her. Light was a rarity on board the Maw and she had learned to appreciate whatever she was given.

She nearly jumped as she heard a soft guttural clicking noise echoing farther down the tunnel, but she grinned as she recognized the weird noise as nonhostile. It was one of the many small creatures called Nomes that were known to be found wandering all over the ship. Just like everything else on the Maw, the Nomes origin and purpose was a mystery, but they were also the only thing on this horrible ship that was even remotely enjoyable, Star finding the small creatures adorable and she would often go out of her way to find them and give each one a tight hug... once she managed to chase them down, that is, all of them running away from her in the beginning the second she got close.

But, unfortunately, Star couldn't spot the Nome in the dark tunnel and so she instead reluctantly pressed forward, keeping her eyes focused straight ahead. Eventually, she found a ladder and she quickly flicked off her lighter before climbing up. When she reached the top she immediately noticed a series of hooks passing over her head, being pushed forward by a conveyor belt. A few of them even carried large objects wrapped in cloth and knotted closed with coarse rope and Star tried to ignore the oddly human size and shape they had, choosing to instead focus on finding a way up to the hooks. She looked around for a high enough spot where she could reach one and lucky for her she found a pile of the wrapped packages tall enough and after climbing up she was able to easily grab onto one of the empty hooks and sail away to another part of the ship.

She soon found herself dangling over a large gap in between areas, the long drop into the darkness below causing Star to cling on tight. Long, thick chains hung all around, each rung twice the size of her small body and she could hear them shaking and jangling from the constant motion of the ship. It felt like a lifetime before she finally bridged the gap, now hovering over a huge pile of wrapped packages, and she reluctantly let go, letting them break her fall. She held back a shudder as the bags shifted slightly under her weight.

She had heard rumors of what happened to the kids kept prison on the ship but she wasn't sure she was quite ready to confirm that theory. So instead she rose and began climbing down the massive pile, trying to ignore the squish underneath her bare feet and stench of blood that caused bile to rise up her throat.

Once she was on solid ground again Star took in a deep, shaky breath and ran as far away from the bags as possible. But she hadn't gotten very far when Star was seized with an unbearable hunger, the blonde doubling over in pain. She groaned, clutching her stomach tightly as the emptiness in her stomach increased with every passing second. These happened to her every so often, one minute she would be fine, the next it felt like her stomach was trying to eat itself and it was all Star could do to keep going until she found herself some food.

She stood and began shuffling forward on shaky legs but a couple steps later she was down again as her stomach let out a troubling growl. It took some more effort but Star was able to somehow keep going, trudging slowly ahead, her eyes on the constant search for food. She made it into the next room when her stomach growled again and this time lacked the strength to continue standing, falling hard to her knees as she took deep breaths. She looked up through fading vision and spotted the single greatest thing she thought she had ever seen: a loaf of bread.

Star's stomach released another terrible growl at the sight of food and the blonde gathered up every bit of strength she had left as she began crawling toward the bread, her hand outstretched as she reached for her saving grace. Another sharp pang in her stomach zapped the last of her strength, leaving Star to numbly reach forward in a last desperate attempt to get ahold of the loaf, her fingers just an inch too short. The girl felt hopelessness consume her as her vision slowly faded to black, her one chance of survival just barely out of reach and she nearly sobbed at the cruel irony.

Just when Star was about to give up and accept her fate, she saw a hand reach down out of nowhere and push the bread closer to her. Star snatched the food up without a second thought and began greedily tearing chunks of it off with her teeth, swallowing after only a few bites. She could feel a pair of eyes watching her, but she was too busy eating to care, not daring to stop. The emptiness and pain in her stomach subsided as Star finished devouring the loaf of bread.

Once she was done, Star took a few deep breaths letting her stomach settle, blinking as her vision cleared. After that she stared up at her savior, taking in the appearance of a young boy. He looked to be about her age (however old that was) with short, oily brown hair, brown eyes and a tiny little mole on his left cheek. She recognized him as one of the children kept prisoner on the Maw, if the tattered and faded blue pajamas were any indication. And if that wasn't enough proof then the rusted shackle hanging from his dirty leg confirmed her suspicions. Despite this though, unlike the dull, lifeless orbs the other children typically had this boy's eyes gleamed with joy and wonder and a curious smile hung on his lips, as if the horrors of the world and his situation had yet to reach his fragile young mind.

Star felt her cheeks blush as he continued to stare down at her, suddenly anxious for reasons she didn't quite understand. She looked down at her feet shyly, rubbing a hand up and down her coat sleeve as she muttered out quietly, "Uh, thanks... for that."

"No problem," the boy said pleasantly, before offering her a hand up. Star hesitated before accepting the help, allowing the boy to haul her to her feet. "I'm Marco by the way," the boy said pointing to himself.

"Star," the blonde replied.

"That's a really pretty name," Marco commented before the girl blushed vividly

"So what are you doing on board the Maw?" Marco asked. "I mean, you're definitely not a prisoner, " He added, gesturing down to the bright yellow raincoat.

"No idea," Star admitted. “I just woke up here one day and that's all I remember."

“You don't have any memories?" Marco asked and Star nodded.

"Yeah," Star mumbled. "So what about you? I'm guessing you're a runaway, considering the outfit," Star commented.

The boy cringed, rubbing the back of his neck with his hand as he said, "Yeah, uh, I got sent here to the kitchen a couple of days ago, but I managed to sneak away before... y'know."

Both kids shuddered, knowing full well what fate awaited those who fell victim to the Monsters' gluttony.

"That's terrible," Star said sympathetically, putting a hand on Marco's shoulder. "I'm so sorry that happened, Marco."

"I-Its okay," the boy stuttered, his eyes suddenly filled with pain and Star found herself longing to see his innocent smile again.

"How have you survived this long on your own?" Star asked, quite impressed with the boy.

Marco shrugged. "I've just been sneaking some food out here and there when the chefs aren't looking," the boy said modestly.

Star's eyes widened as realization dawned on her, giving his an apologetic look as she gasped out, "Oh my gosh, did I eat the last of your food? I'm so, so sorry!"

"No, no it's okay," Marco reassured her. "You looked like you needed it more." He smiled at her and suddenly Star's cold body flooded with a peculiar warmth. But she didn't have time to question it as Marco suddenly added, "Besides I know a place where we can get a lot more food than that."

"Where?" Star asked curiously.

"Come on, I'll show you," the boy replied before turning and running off somewhere. Star hesitated for only a second before chasing after the boy, hopeful that she could have a full belly for once.

...

As the two got closer to wherever the boy was leading them, Star began to pick up on the metallic swing of a knife from another room as no doubt a large butcher knife was getting some use. She held back the shiver that jumped up her spine, trying not to focus on the concerning sounds down the hallway. Instead, she concentrated on where she was being led and more importantly the boy who was leading her there. He had a calm smile on his face, despite the obvious danger they were in and Star was almost unsure what to think of that. Or Marco in general.

She hadn't been around kids her age in a long time but the ones she did usually weren't this upbeat. Most were quiet, reserved, and had more or less given up. They certainly didn't smile, she was lucky to see them even raise their head in her direction. So far, Star seemed to be the only one on this ship who cared at all about trying to escape their situation.

Until Marco. Star had never met anyone like him before, he was the closest thing she had come across to a companion in well… forever honestly. Marco's charming naivety was hard to resist and the blonde couldn't help but feel drawn to her companion, wanting to know more about him.

Marco suddenly stopped in his tracks and Star ran into his back by accident, causing him to slightly stumble. Once he had recovered, he turned to her and put a finger to his lips, before pointing in the direction of a towering doorway, the sound of something being violently sliced clearly coming from that direction. Star felt a shiver run up her raincoat but nodded in understanding. The two then began to tiptoe slowly closer to that area, Star feeling her heart rate beginning to spike as they did.

Finally, the two seemed to have reached their destination: a large door. The boy grinned over to her to show that they had reached the right place and pointed over to the door for extra emphasis, mouthing the words, "In here."

Star smiled from beneath her hood and the two quickly started to push on the door with all their little might. But for some reason the door didn't budge, staying sealed shut and the two grunted as they strained against the wooden frame. But the effort proved pointless and the two quickly gave up the struggle, letting out deep (but quiet) sighs of despair. Star leaned heavily against the door when Marco suddenly whispered into her ear, "Let me give you a boost up and you can try the handle."

The blonde didn't argue with that, standing up straight as she watched Marco cup his hands into a foothold for her. Star placed her foot in his palm, before hoisting herself up using his shoulders for leverage. Once she was suspended above ground she sprung up off her companion's hands and grabbed on tightly to the handle. She hung off it as it slid down but instead of a noisy click like usual, there was nothing. Meaning the door was locked.

Star frowned, before dropping back down to her feet, Marco staring at her with a mixture of confusion and anticipation. She bit her lip, thankful he couldn't see her face beneath the hood. The last thing she wanted was to make him feel worse about the whole situation. "Well," he whispered, leaning in close to her face and Star felt her cheeks heat up for some reason.

Star shook her head. "It's locked from the other side," she explained, hoping she didn't sound too disappointed. She really shouldn't have gotten her hopes up, especially since the whole thing had seemed too good to be true, but the idea of a decent meal had gotten her excited.

"What?" the boy groaned, his bright eyes filling with disappointment, a sad frown on his face. "But I just checked it yesterday."

"Guess they figured out you were getting in there," Star said, in the most sympathetic tone she could.

"Well guess we came all this way for nothing," Marco said, sitting down hard on the wood floor with pure despair in his voice.

Star couldn't stand seeing her new friend so downtrodden and tried to think of some way to cheer him up. She looked around for an idea of how to help him, before spotting the doorway across the hall, the sound of sharp metal slicing ringing through the air. Star swallowed hard, knowing what she was thinking of was probably a terrible idea. In fact, it was an incredibly stupid and dangerous idea but now that it was in her head, she knew it would be impossible to get out. Besides, she reasoned with herself. I want to make Marco smile again and if it works…

"Well, I know another way we can get some food," Star said, looking over to Marco knowingly.

The boy gave her a confused look, an eyebrow slowly rising. "How?" he asked, with fragile hope in his eyes.

"Well the pantry may be off-limits but…" Star gestured with her head in the direction of the doorway. "I bet there is some food in there."

Marco's eyes widened. "In… there," he whispered, pointing at the doorway fearfully. "B-B-But, the chef is in there."

Star put an arm around his shoulder saying confidently (more confident than she actually felt), "Come on, Marco. It'll be fiiinnneee. I know my way around this place, I'll keep you safe."

Marco frowned, the doubt clear in his eyes, as he muttered nervously, "I don't know."

"Hey, relax. As long as we stay quiet he will never even know we're there," Star said, flashing him a bright grin, not realizing he couldn't see it under her hood.

Star's enthusiasm seemed to sway Marco's mind some, a thoughtful look spreading across his face as he bit his lip, clearly contemplating his options. "Welllll…" he began, only for his rumbling stomach to interrupt him.

"See, Marco, you're hungry, let's get you some food, come on," Star said, not giving the boy a chance to argue as she grabbed his arm and dragged him in the direction of the kitchen. The boy whined under his breath but otherwise didn't resist, following reluctantly along behind his companion.

Everything about this was making his instincts scream at him but he held back the urge to run away, putting his faith and trust in Star. Like she had said, she had been doing this much longer than him, staying alive on this horrible boat all by herself. Marco had barely survived the week, having to fend off every meal he stole from the pantry from rats and other vermin including… leeches. The boy shuddered at the thought.

But Star. Star was amazing! Even though he had only briefly met her, he could tell just how cool she was and he knew if anyone could get them some decent food, it was her. So he figured it was best to follow Star's lead on this.

But he was quickly regretting this as the sound of chopping grew all the louder. The closer they got, the louder it grew, causing anxiety to course through Marco's bloodstream, turning it to ice. When they reached the door frame, Star peaked her head around the side, checking to see the position of the chef, trying to hold back the cringe as she took in the hideous form.

The creature towered over the two miniature children, it's skin an unhealthy looking shade of almost gray. Then again, nothing about the creature screamed healthy. The chef was overweight, barely fitting into its grungy work uniform. Its meaty arms and hands were hard at work, chopping away at a large slab of meat in front of it, short, stubby finger gripping the massive knife tightly as it slammed the blade viciously into the meat, again and again, its movements sporadic and almost vengeful, like it was getting some sick pleasure from it all. It wore the typical garb of a chef, complete with chef hat and apron, its uniform stained with blood and who knows what else.

Its face looked like melting dough, thick layers of skin and flesh hanging loosely from its expressionless face. It was almost too expressionless, something about it felt off to Star like it wasn't really a face at all. Maybe a mask? The chef made noisy grunts and moans as it worked, its attention so focused on its work it thankfully didn't notice the two kids.

Star waited a moment, making sure the nightmarish creature was properly distracted before putting a finger to her lips and gesturing Marco closer. The small boy swallowed hard but followed after the girl, nearly jumping in fright as he spotted the towering figure of the chef. Star saw he was about to scream and quickly covered his mouth with her hand, muffling the cry of terror. Marco continued to stare at the chef in pure fear and Star quickly pulled him to safety under a nearby table, out of the chef's line of sight.

She gave Marco a moment to calm himself down, his breathing shallow and sporadic and Star wasn't sure how he hadn't hyperventilated yet. Maybe this wasn't a good idea, Star thought to herself. But what other choice did they have? They needed to eat and this seemed to be the only way to guarantee them food. The blonde waited until the boy's breathing calmed enough before removing her hand from his mouth, keeping a hand on his back to steady him.

"Sorry," he mouthed to her, afraid of making any sound whatsoever.

Star pulled off her hood and gave him a sympathetic smile mouthing back to him, "It's fine."

She then pointed to herself and toward the next area of the kitchen before pointing at Marco and then at the ground, hoping the message was clear. You stay here, I'll get the food. But the young boy shook his head stubbornly, a determined look in his eyes as he grabbed onto the girl's hand, causing a blush to spread across her cheeks.

There was no way he was letting her go alone. Star had been alone enough, she deserved to have someone by her side. Even if he was afraid, he was going to do everything in his limited power to help her any way he could.

Star was surprised by Marco's response, figuring he would prefer to stay out of harm's way but he actually wanted to go with her. Star felt another stirring in her chest, the warmth beginning to grow and spread to the rest of her but she ignored it for now. Now was not the time to be consumed by emotions, now was the time to act.

So Star simply nodded her head, giving his hand a tight squeeze before slowly leading them out from the safety of the table, creeping past the chef who was still hard at work cutting slabs of meat, before ripping them apart with its bare hands. Star kept a watchful eye on the chef as they tip-toed past him, staying as low to the ground as possible. The chef was becoming violent with its work, slamming the large butcher knife into the meat again and again and Star felt her stomach roll in disgust. These monsters were insane.

The two finally made it past the creature, creeping silently down the stairs into the main area of the kitchen. Star held her breath at every creak she heard on the rotten wood but thankfully the noise was not enough to alert the chef of their presence.

The two tiny kids continued to creep around the kitchen area, ignoring the array of foul odors coming from the many, many boiling pots on the stove tops. How anyone could eat this stuff was beyond Star. The who was eating it was what had her intrigued but she didn't really want to over think that, in all honesty, she would rather not know. Hopefully, there was better food for them to munch on around here. Star looked around for any sign of good food to eat, before spotting a large metal door at the far end of the room. The freezer. That had to have some real food, right?

Star grinned, before tapping Marco on the shoulder to gain his attention. He gave her a confused look and she pointed over to the door. His eyes widened with greed before he licked his lips, the prospect of food too entrancing to them both. He nodded to her, a smile on his innocent face and suddenly everything felt worth it to Star just to see his eyes light up like that.

The two made their way towards the door tip-toeing as slowly and quietly as possible… when two Nomes appeared out of nowhere, chittering as they scurried around the room, one of them bumping into the door to an oven causing it to slam closed. The loud noise caused both Star and Marco to jump in fright and they both felt their hearts drop as a loud moan sounded from the next room, followed by shuffling feet.

The chef had heard the noise and it was coming to investigate.

Star gave up any hopes of stealth as she shouted to her companion, "Run!" The two ran as fast as they could through the kitchen, the chef making another loud groan as it spotted them but Star didn't dare turn around. Instead, she just focused on getting away. She could hear pounding feet as it chased after them and Star quickly ran under a table in the center of the room, hoping that would stall it enough from catching them.

Finally, Star reached the door to the freezer but felt her heart stop as she noticed the large rusted metal lock on its handle. The blonde swallowed hard, trying to think of some way for them to hide before spotting a large shelf. Star nearly sighed in relief as she shouted, "Come on, Marco! Over here!"

But as she turned to check behind her, she saw that Marco was not there. "Marco?" Star repeated softly, feeling a cold fear creeping up her spine.

"Star!" came the terrified and fragile voice of Marco and Star felt pure terror fill her system as she followed the voice to a horrible sight.

The chef had Marco.

Holding him tightly by the back of his hood, being none too gentle with him as it looked around for her. The boy's body swung haphazardly around as he hung there, kicking his bare feet uselessly and trying to somehow pry the meaty grip off of him. But it was no use. Marco was caught.

Star didn't think she had ever been more afraid than she was at that very moment as she watched the one person in the world who understood her and she cared for in the clutches of that vile creature and it was all Star could do to keep herself from running over and trying to pry him loose, but she knew that would only result in both of them being caught. She needed a different plan to save her friend, preferably one that kept either of them from being served up on a platter.

She quickly ducked behind cover as she watched the chef for a moment, trying to formulate some kind of plan to rescue Marco. Her heart was hammering so hard against her chest at this point she worried she was about to have a heart attack. And as she listened to Marco's desperate and frightened cries, calling out for help, screaming Star's name at the top of his lungs, it felt like a knife had just been wedged deep into her heart, twisting viciously within.

The blonde continued to scan the area around her, looking for something, anything, that could save Marco. Finally, the gears in her head began turning as an idea came to her out of nowhere. She didn't even hesitate as she jumped into action, unable to waste precious seconds thinking it through or second-guessing herself, she would just have to hope it worked. For Marco's sake.

Marco's tiny heart was racing so hard it was painful as he tried futilely to free himself, doing anything he could think of to escape. The chef finally gave up its search for the other vermin and instead carried its captive over to a nearby table… one with a conveniently placed cutting board and butcher knife. The chef practically threw Marco down on the table, the boy letting out a cry as his back painfully collided with the hardwood surface. He tried to crawl away but was stopped as the chef placed a grubby hand over him, keeping him pinned and effectively trapped. The boy tried to squirm away but he was trapped, the pressure on his chest causing him to cough and wheeze, struggling to suck in enough oxygen. He could feel something oozing against his back and he felt bile rising at the back of his throat as he shuddered. He did not want to think about what that could be.

The chef casually picked up the knife beside Marco, the gleam off of its smooth edge hitting Marco and causing him to be temporarily blinded. He blinked furiously, trying to regain his vision as he let out shuddering breaths. The moment his vision returned, however, he wished it hadn't as he saw the chef raise the knife high over its head, preparing to strike.

Marco squeezed his eyes shut, his short few years of life flashing before his eyes as he waited for the finishing blow. This was it, he thought to himself. I never even got to tell Star goodbye.

Just before the chef could begin its swing though, something smashed into the back of its head, causing the creature to stumble and release its grip on Marco. The boy looked up with confusion before spotting Star in the scaffolding above a pile of small pots and cups sat next to her. She stared down at him with her bright blue eyes full of relief and determination and for a second Marco wondered if he was staring at the face of an angel instead.

"Marco run!" Star screamed, lifting another pot over her head, preparing to fling it at the chef.

The boy quickly hopped down off the table, the chef reaching down to pick him back up only to be nailed in the arm by the surprisingly strong-armed Star. The boy ran as fast as he could away from the chef, heading the same direction he had seen Star take. The chef chased after him but was stopped after only a few steps as Star managed to land another hit on it with a pot, causing the chef to release a very annoyed growl, clearly growing frustrated with the pair of vermin that had invaded its kitchen.

Star did her best to hold the chef off as Marco ran over to the shelf Star had used, quickly climbing up. But he wasn't fast enough as the chef was finally catching up to him, beginning to ignore the array of glass objects crashing into its head and body, seconds away from reaching the shelf. Star saw her friend wasn't going to make it in time and quickly held out a hand and yelled over to him in desperation, "Marco jump!"

Marco threw himself off the shelf, stretching out an arm towards Star's waiting hand. Time seemed to slow as he flew through the air, reaching out for his friend with all his might, hoping he was able to reach her. Luckily, he barely managed to grab onto her, his fingers nearly slipping out of hers but the blonde squeezed his hand tight, refusing to let go. Star grunted and tried to brace herself as Marco's weight threatened to pull her down too and quickly added her other hand to the effort of holding Marco.

Below them, the chef was stretching up as high as its chubby arms would allow, letting out hideous grunting noise as it tried to somehow reach the two pests. Star and Marco ignored this, however, as Star focused only on pulling Marco up on the overhead beams with her. She finally managed to gain enough leverage to drag him up with her, the boy soon sitting beside her, both panting from exertion and the remnants of adrenaline and terror coursing through their bloodstream.

The two took a moment to calm down, laying next to each other on the high beams and just letting everything that had happened wash over them. That had been one of the most terrifying ordeals of their joint lives and they dreaded to imagine what might have happened had Star not stepped in when she did. Marco tried not to picture the knife being swung high, still seeing the glint of the cool metal and he felt tremors still coarse down his spine at the memory. It had been too real, too close and he was sure it would be haunting his nightmares for weeks after.

"Thanks," Marco finally managed to mumble, still trying to calm his breathing. "That was… too close."

"Yeah, it was," Star agreed, her own voice trembling some. "Sorry I let that happen. I should have protected you better." She slammed a clenched fist into the wooden board they lay on in anger, frustrated with herself for not doing more. She had promised she would keep him safe, instead he had almost gotten killed on her watch.

"Star, it's fine, it's not your fault I got caught," the boy said, trying not to let his fear show as the memory still haunted his mind. It was still too fresh to ignore, to forget. But he didn't want to make his friend feel any worse than she already did. So instead he gave her a warm smile and told her in the most pleasant tone he had at the moment, "Besides you're the one who saved me. I woulda been a goner back there if not for you.”

"Yeah, but you wouldn't have been in any danger if not for me," Star mumbled, crossing her arms in front of her chest.

"The important thing is we both survived, right?" Marco said, putting a hand on her shoulder.

Star stared at him in surprise for a moment. She had expected him to be angry or upset, maybe even part ways with her to avoid further disaster. Instead, he willingly and openly forgave her and Star was so stunned by this she had no idea how to respond for a moment. Instead, she found herself staring into his stunning brown orbs for a moment, full of so much hope and tenderness that her cheeks heated up against her will.

She coughed into her hand to hide whatever this strange emotion was Marco kept making her feel, deciding it best to change the subject before she started acting weird. She really didn't want to humiliate herself in front of her new friend. So she tried to distract herself by taking a closer look at the kitchen below. At this point the chef had given up any hope of catching the intruders, instead going back to making its disgusting meals, grumbling to itself the whole time in its high-pitched whine.

But the blonde wasn't interested in the chef anymore, her concern was on the freezer door and more importantly the lock that prevented them entry inside. She laid her head on her knee for a moment as she muttered in annoyance, "Well so much from getting any food in there."

Marco sat up and followed her gaze to the door, frowning in disappointment. "Yeah, I was really hoping to eat, too."

The two let out simultaneous sighs, staring in longing as the only chance at a decent meal was just out of reach. If only they could get inside there. Suddenly an idea came to Marco, his eyes widening at the thought and a bright smile beginning to spread across his face. He turned to his companion and quickly proclaimed, "Actually I think we can!"

"What? How?!" Star asked in intrigue, leaning closer to him until their faces were nearly touching.

Marco ignored the stirring his chest at the close contact, instead replying, "Well that's a lock right? So all we need to do is find the key."

Star gasped, her own eyes filling with excitement as she exclaimed, "Marco, you're a genius!"

The boy blushed at the compliment, rubbing sheepishly at the back of his neck. "I mean, I don't know if I'd say genius," he muttered in embarrassment. But his nervousness doubled as Star suddenly threw her arms around him in a hug, causing his heart to skip a beat. The warmth was surprising but not unwelcome and Marco found himself melting into the tight embrace, treasuring every second.

Star wasn't sure why she had decided to do this, she had just been so… was happy the right word? She didn't know what she was feeling but she just knew she needed to express it in some way and the next thing she knew she had her arms around him. But now that it was happening, she found she kinda enjoyed it. She liked having Marco this close to her and she found her heart stirring inside her chest for some reason. She still didn't know how to describe the feeling just yet but.... it was nice.

The girl released her hold, pulling back so they could stare into each other's flushing faces. Star felt suddenly awkward about the display of affection, playing with a loose strand of hair as she whispered, "Sorry, I don't know why I was…" Her voice trailed off and she was tempted to hide her flushed face inside her hood once more.

"Uhh, no it's fine," Marco replied, still clearly in shock but the joy on his face was clear as day. "I thought it was nice."

Star grinned back. "Me too."

The two stayed like that for a moment, smiling blissfully at each other, before a loud swing from the chef's knife caused the two to jump, reminding them where they were at. "Come on," Star said, standing up. "Let's go find that key!"

"Alright," Marco replied enthusiastically, following along behind the girl as they went in search of the key to their breakfast.

...

Star peeked her head out from the grate she was hiding in, watching as the two chefs noisily cleaned the dishes, piles and piles sprawled before them, some reaching almost as high as the ceiling. But that wasn't what had piqued Star's interest, her focus was on the small silver key set precariously close to the soapy water and in plain view of the two monsters. Marco must have noticed it too because he turned to her with a smile and a determined gleam in his eye, which she returned. They both nodded as one before crouching back under so they could safely discuss their plan of attack.

The two had been searching for the key for a while now but luckily they had found a loose floorboard and had been able to sneak around undetected right under the Monsters' noses. Except now their only way to get into the freezer was being guarded by the twin chefs and getting past them was going to be tricky. "So what now?" Marco asked Star, keeping his voice below a whisper.

Star thought for a second before replying, "We need to lure them away somehow."

She put a finger to her chin, pondering over an idea, when Marco suddenly said, "The hooks.”

"Huh?" Star said, looking over at the boy in confusion.

"There are a conveyor of hooks running all through this place, I bet if we find the switch that'd draw their attention," Marco explained simply.

"Oh yeah!" Star agreed, smiling brightly at her new friend. "Great idea, Marco!"

The boy grinned at the praise, before standing up and starting to crawl out of the grate, "Cool, then I'll go find the switch-”

But Star cut him off, grabbing onto his arm and pulling him back down with her, saying in a quiet hiss, "Are you crazy?! You can't go out there it's too dangerous!"

“Well one of us has to find the switch," Marco argued.

But Star wasn't having, shaking her head vigorously. "No way, it's too risky! What if you get caught again?!"

"I'll be careful," Marco told her, trying to sound more reassuring than he felt. "Besides, someone is gonna have to run to get the key and I think we both know who is faster." The two shuddered as the memory from earlier flashed through their minds, neither of them wanted a repeat of what happened.

"Okay," Star reluctantly agreed. "Just promise me you'll be safe."

Marco nodded once. "Of course. Safe is my middle name," he told her, giving her a small smile. Marco could see the tiniest of grins on Star's lips and he felt his heart flutter. Then, without warning, she pulled him into a hug, holding him tightly against her for a moment. Marco's cheeks blushed red but he wrapped his own arms around Stars slender frame, listening to her even breathing for a moment.

They parted much too quickly for Marco's liking, craving her warmth and comfort almost as much as she did. But that would have to wait for now, they needed to focus on the task ahead. They could decipher the tangle of emotions they felt later. Marco stood up and Star whispered softly to him, "Good luck."

Marco nodded, before replying, "You too." He then climbed out of the hole slowly. He kept a close eye on the two chefs, who were too deep in their task to notice him yet, as he carefully crept around, staying low to the ground, trying to make himself as small as possible.

He saw one of the chefs move away from the dishes and he quickly hid underneath one of the large sinks, trying to keep his breathing steady as his heart pounded painfully against his chest. He waited until his heartbeat had slowed to a reasonable speed, before risking peeking his head out from the safety of his hiding spot. The chefs had its back to him, sniffling noisily as it arranged dishes on a large shelf. Marco, seeing he was safe for the moment began looking around for the switch he needed. He spotted a large lever in the next room and smiled. That was it. It had to be.

Marco, seizing his chance, sucked in a deep breath and stepped out of his hiding spot. He tiptoed toward the next room, keeping a close eye on the chef as he did. He held his breath, his body starting to shake with fear as he repeated again and again in his terror-filled mind, Please don't turn around, please don't turn around, please don't turn around.

Snap!

The sudden jarring noise caused Marco to jump, looking slowly down at the floor where the sound had come from. The boy felt his heart come to a painful stop as he spotted the bits of glass under his feet. The boy had been so focused on the chef he hadn't been paying enough attention to the world around him and had somehow not noticed the array of broken, discarded plates scattered around him from where the chefs had presumably dropped them.

The boy froze as he heard a grunt from the chef, turning to the towering creature with pure dread coursing through his veins and nearly screamed in fright as he saw the chef turning around to see what had caused the loud noise. Marco panicked, time seeming to slow to a crawl as he waited for his presence to be revealed, to be caught and captured all over again. He knew he should move, run, escape but he couldn't. His legs felt like they were made of lead and his body was still and unmoving as a result.

This was it. In a matter of seconds, he would be back in the grubby grip of the nightmarish chef. He wasn't sure he could bear being flung around haphazardly by the heartless capture again. Couldn't stand the thought of being pinned in place as he watched the instrument of his demise slowly rise, ready to end his short, few years of existence.

But then suddenly, like a light at the end of a dark tunnel, Marco remembered Star. How devastated she would be if he died. How she was counting on him to pull through. He had promised her he would be careful. And he couldn't let her down. He refused to cause her anymore pain or grief. He had seen her desperation before, when she had struggled to reach that loaf of bread, the sight of her so helpless and struggling had torn at his heartstrings. He didn't want her to suffer, he wanted to help her, even if he didn't know how just yet.

So he pushed back his fears into the corner of his mind and forced his legs into motion. He ran quickly across the loose floorboards doing his best to dodge around the broken plates and make as little to no noise as possible. Still, just as he entered the next room he heard the chef release a surprised grunt and he knew he had been spotted. He had to be quick and make every second count.

He hopped up onto a table and jumped onto the lever. His weight caused the switch to be pulled down, a loud whining sound invaded Marco's eardrums and nearly causing them to burst. He landed back on the table and covered his ears with his hands, the sound of grating metal almost too much for his fragile ears. After a few seconds, it stopped as the conveyor of hooks began moving in the opposite direction. Marco smiled in victory.

But he didn't have long to celebrate this as the chef walked into the room Marco was in, letting out an annoyed groan as it spotted him. The boy ran across the tabletop, pushing his legs faster than they could physically go, hoping to somehow escape. The chef strutted its way over to the table, reaching out a grubby hand to grab him but Marco slid under it at the last second.

The boy then jumped through a window into the main room again, landing in a sink filled with soapy water. Marco, who had never learned to swim, struggled to get above water, flailing his arms in some desperate attempt at not drowning. But his clothes felt like they were weighing him down as he became distinctly aware of the chain on his ankle which seemed to be dragging him down instead of up. And to make it worse his eyes were stinging from the obsessive amounts of soap the monsters had used to clean the dirty plates. Finally, the boy managed to get his head above water, gasping and sputtering and he tightly gripped the edge of the sink.

He looked up with blurry and pain-filled vision to see the second chef rushing at him as fast as its stubby legs could carry it. "Oh come on!" Marco screamed in annoyance. Could the universe just give him a freaking break?

The boy quickly jumped out of the sink and made a break for his hiding spot from earlier, his drenched clothes making it difficult to run. Still, he managed to reach the table unharmed, ducking down underneath it and trying to make himself as small as possible. The twin chefs had soon gathered around the table, one of them struggling to reach underneath, straining with all its might to reach the boy, the other just watching the whole thing with nervous annoyance.

Star took advantage of the distraction Marco had provided, quickly racing over to the large sink, climbing up onto it and picking up the key. She smiled in victory, which was short-lived as one of the chefs spotted her and let out a loud moan. Star felt her heartbeat race in her chest, looking around for an exit. She would never make it to the grate in time, which meant she needed another way out of here.

Her gaze rested on the hooks above her head and an idea sprang into her mind. She threw the key with all her might, letting it hit the ground with a loud thud, the chef forgoing her in favor of its precious key. Star then shouted over to her companion, "Marco, over here!"

The second chef had stopped its attempts to snatch him up to watch the commotion going on with its brother and Marco used this distraction to crawl out from underneath the table and quickly running over to Star. The girl offered him a hand up, as he climbed up onto the side of the sink with her. "Where's the key?" he asked, panting from both fear and exertion.

Star shook her head. "Forget the key, we gotta get outta here.”

"How?" Marco asked, his voice cracking with fear.

"We go up," Star said, looking up at the line of hooks and then a large stack of plates reaching just high enough for the two of them to be in reach of the hooks. Marco followed her gaze before a small grin lit up his face. The two's eyes met again and they shared a brief smile before nodding in unison. They had a plan, now was the time to see it in action.

The two climbed up the large stack of plates, ignoring as they wobbled and jolted around with every step. When Star and Marco reached the top they found themselves struggling to keep their balance, holding out their arms in an attempt to stay on the unsteady stack. The chefs both reached for the two children, grunting in their feeble attempts, growing more and more frustrated with every second that passed. Star, however, had her eyes on the hooks, waiting for one to be in position for them to reach it.

She watched as one slowly slid closer, her body tensing as she shouted, "Marco, get ready to jump!"

"Right!" the boy yelled back, determination in his voice as the two crouched down waiting for the right moment.

"3," Star whispered under her breath.

"2," Marco added, his voice shaking with anticipation.

"1!" The two kids shouted together jumping up just as the hook passed over their heads. The sudden shift in weight, finally caused the huge stack of plates to collapse and tumble onto the unsuspecting chefs, causing them to groan in pain and surprise.

Star grabbed tightly onto the rusted metal, while Marco wrapped his arms around Star's waist, clinging to her tightly. The two cheered in victory as they sailed over the kitchen, Star shouting at the frazzled chefs, "Ha take that you monsters! That's the last time you'll think about messing with us!" She then stuck her tongue out at the creatures for added measure.

Marco just let out a sigh of relief, glad that the whole terrifying incident was over. He held Star in an almost death grip trying to ignore the long drop that waited just below them, burying his head into her bright raincoat. Now that they were safe and out of harm's way he couldn't help but enjoy holding onto Star like this, even if they were precariously dangling in the air.

However, something was still bothering Marco. Something he couldn't quite get his mind off of. "Star, where do these hooks lead?" he asked, looking up at his more knowledgeable friend.

Star didn't seem even slightly worried, saying in a smooth, confident tone, "Oh relax, Marco. I'm sure everything will be fine now that we got away from those chefs."

Marco looked up ahead to see where the conveyor belt was leading them only to gasp in shock. "Oh no we didn't!" he screamed and Star looked over her shoulder only to see one of the chefs waiting for them, piles of packages stacked all around it.

Star gasped in surprise and let go of the hook, dropping the two to the ground without warning. Thankfully, a pile of cloth broke their fall and the two slowly crawled their way out of it, cringing and rubbing their aching backsides from the rough landing.

The door behind them busted open, the sheer force causing the thin wood to snap off its hinges and Star and Marco jumped at the sudden noise. The second chef stood in the doorway, a towering, hideous figure fuming with hate and rage and the pair felt the hair on the back of their necks stand on end at the sight.

"Run!" Star screamed for what felt like the hundredth time that day, gripping Marco's arm tightly and pulling him along behind her. She wasn't going to make the same mistake as before. She was not letting him go this time. The two ran as fast as their little legs would let them, their bare feet slapping against the wooden floor and they could hear the enraged chef chasing after them, right on their heels.

What was worse the two were quickly approaching a dead end, a huge gap in the ship standing between them and freedom and Star felt her heart clench in despair. Until Marco shouted, "Look, more hooks!"

The blonde followed her companion's pointing finger to a new row of hooks, these stretching right across the massive gaping hole in front of them. Star tightened her grip on Marco's hand, hoping they made it to them in time.

They could hear the loud, gurgling breathe of the chef getting louder and louder and Star knew they couldn't wait any longer… not unless they wanted to be monster food. So, steadying her nerves (what was left of them) and sucking in a deep breath of air (possibly her last) she dove for the hooks, jumping off the thin railing that was meant to keep people from slipping over the side to their deaths. Marco somehow sensed her movement and jumped too, the two airborne for a second, before Star managed to snatch the hook out of mid-air, the two now dangling from the moving conveyor belt, only their intertwined hands keeping Marco from plummeting to his death..

The chefs were none too happy seeing their prey escaping, throwing all manners of things at them from plates to large bottles of intoxicants, letting out high-pitched groans and grunts as they watched their possible meal slowly drift away.

Unlike before the two kids didn't dare cheer their victory, Star was too busy trying not to lose her grip on Marco's hand. Their position had been much easier before, her arm straining to hold Marco's weight, feeling like her bone was being pulled from the socket. Not to mention her grip on the hook threatening to slip with every passing second. But she fought through the pain, focusing only on getting her and Marco to safety. She would not lose Marco now. Not after everything they had just gone through.

Finally, Star could let go as the hooks flew over a large metal pipe, the two landing gracefully on it. Star clutched her sore arm tightly, hissing some in pain and Marco was quick to check on her. "Are you alright? Did you get hurt?" he asked, concern in his voice as he put a hand gently on the limb.

"I'll be fine," Star reassured him, giving him a bright smile.

Marco nodded but wasn't entirely convinced, reminding himself to keep a close eye on her for a bit. He turned and looked back over the gap, letting out a longing sigh. "Well there went our meal ticket," he muttered under his breath.

Star frowned, sitting down on the pipe as she contemplated everything. "Yeah, I know. Sorry I blew our chance to eat," she mumbled dejectedly.

"Star it's fine, I'm just glad we got away," Marco said, subconsciously laying a hand on top of hers. Star shivered as his warm palm soaked into her cold skin, making her whole arm tingle from the touch. "Besides we'll find more food.... soon."

Star nodded, unable to keep the smile off her face. "Yeah, you're right," she replied in a much more upbeat tone. She didn't know what it was but something about Marco made her world… brighter somehow. She really liked having him around.

"So what now?" Marco asked, looking to her for answers, his bright eyes causing her heart to do all kinds of weird things.

Star shrugged, ignoring the sudden heat in her cheeks. "Guess we should see where this pipe leads."

"You think it'll lead into anything good?" Marco asked as the two stood, their hands still locked. They didn't know why but they liked it better this way.

"Probably not," Star said honestly. "But it can't hurt to try."

"Can't argue with that," the boy replied with a shrug. After everything that had happened today, he really didn't see how it could get any worse.

...

The two followed the pipe for a bit, not really sure what to expect on the other end. They began to notice a strange warmth coming from up ahead but couldn't quite figure out what it was. That was when Star heard a sound and felt her heart jump for joy. She stopped in her tracks, causing Marco to stumble into her on accident. "Marco, do you hear that?" she asked in excitement.

Marco paused to listen intently, finally hearing a chittering sound. "Is that a Nome?"

"Yep!" Star said, her eyes shimmering for the first time since Marco had met her.

"So what about it?" Marco asked in confusion.

"First rule of survival, when in doubt follow the Nomes," Star explained. She dragged Marco behind her as she ran across the pipe as quickly as possible before coming across a crack in the wall. The two paused at that, sharing looks with each other, before shrugging. Star slipped in through the tiny crack, sucking in her breath to help her squeeze through a little easier, Marco following right behind her.

What the two stepped into caught both of them off-guard. A group of Nomes, at least 20 or so were all laying around the area, a large boiler, full of hot coals and warm fire rested in the center of the room. The Nomes, upon spotting the two intruders quickly panicked and all started to scamper away.

"Wait, little guys!" Star called after them. "We won't hurt you!"

She let go of Marco's hand to chase after them, while Marco could only stand there dumbfounded. He had only ever heard the Nomes before through the cracks in his prison but seeing them in person it was quite a sight. They had cone-shaped heads, all completely featureless and small gray bodies. They were even shorter than Star and Marco and that was saying something but something about them also felt kinda cute, although that was probably helped along as he watched his friend's funny but endearing attempts to catch the remarkably quick Nomes shouting after them in an attempt to get them to stop. "Just let me hug you!”

Marco laughed out loud, feeling his cheeks heat up with a blush. But he soon spotted one of the Nomes stuck in a small crack in the wall that it had been too big to squeeze through. The boy rushed over to help the tiny creature, plucking it effortlessly out of the wall. "There you go, little guy," Marco said, setting it back on its feet.

Star, spotted the creature and quickly rushed over, lifting it off of its feet before hugging it tightly. Marco grinned at the cute sight before the blonde set the small creature back down who now let out a gentle coo and stared up at her almost longingly. "Now you hug him, Marco," Star told her friend, giving him an encouraging grin.

"Oh, okay I guess," Marco said, picking the creature up and hugging it just like Star had. It was surprisingly warm and the boy felt his spirits lift a little just by embracing the adorable creature.

The other Nomes, seeing that the intruders were friendly, slowly began to approach them, still slightly hesitant and fearful. Time aboard this ship had taught the Nomes to be cautious.

Soon, Star and Marco found themselves surrounded by Nomes and they happily took turns picking them up and hugging each one, the creatures soon almost begging to be picked up, each one getting more and more excited by the show of affection. Finally, the happy moment was broken up by a loud grumbling from Marco's stomach who blushed bright red.

"Aww poor Marco," Star cooed over to her friend. "I'm sure you must be hungry."

"Maybe a little," Marco replied, rubbing his empty stomach with a sad frown.

The Nomes heard this and all began to chitter loudly, rushing off to a corner of the room and Star and Marco shared a look of confusion. A second later, the gnomes were back now holding a large array of food which they set down in front of the pair. Star and Marco gasped in delight and surprise, feeling their mouths begin to water staring at the food. Real food!

Star and Marco didn't even question the creatures kindness as they began to gobble down the food as fast as their tiny mouths would allow. It was the best meal either had ever had, most of the time surviving on scraps but now they could fill their bellies up as much as they wanted. Anytime the two started to run low, the gnomes would bring them more and the two ate until their stomachs were stuffed to bursting.

The two let out happy moans as the food settled in their stomachs, before turning to the small creatures. "Thanks guys, we really appreciate it!" Star said brightly and the Nomes all let out what the blonde could only assume was joyful chitters.

With their bellies now full and their bodies warm and comfortable thanks to the furnace, the two felt the next pressing matter than needed to be attended to. That they, were in fact, beyond exhausted. It had been a tiring day both mentally and physically the two found themselves yawning and rubbing their eyes as they struggled to stay awake. "We should probably get some sleep," Star suggested.

Marco nodded but Star noticed his body visibly tense up. "Is everything okay, Marco?" she asked, concern etched into her voice.

Marco shook his head before admitting, "It's just… what if I have a bad dream?" He bit his lip, shuddering as he imagined the many nightmares he was often plagued by. And after today, he knew a few more had just been added to the list.

"Do you have nightmares a lot?" Star asked, already guessing the answer.

"Yeah," the boy muttered, his pupils wide with fear. "Sometimes I don't sleep cause I'm afraid… I'll dream about bad stuff again."

"Me too," Star replied and Marco caught her gaze, sympathy and understanding layered beneath. She could see his need was just as strong as hers and she tried to think of some way to help comfort him, to ease his mind.

"Here, how about this? You can lay on me and if you start to have a bad dream, I'll wake you," Star suggested, giving him a warm smile.

"But what about you?" Marco asked in concern. "Aren't you going to sleep?"

Star nodded. "Yeah but I'll sleep easier having you here."

Marco didn't argue with that, allowing Star to wrap her arms around him, his head resting against her chest. He found Star's presence comforting and as he gently breathed in her scent he found his eyes slowly closing. In a matter of minutes, Marco was fast asleep in Star's arms.

The blonde, however, just lay there soaking in Marco's warmth as she thought over her long, exhausting day. For so long life on board the Maw had been pointless and empty. She had carried on day by day just fighting to stay alive for no other reason than her own will to live. She had felt like her life lacked direction or purpose whatsoever but still she had carried on through the darkness and shadows, hoping to find something that would make her miserable existence worthwhile.

And then Marco had arrived and suddenly, she had a reason to live again. To believe, to hope that maybe someday there could be something better for her out there. Because now she had someone to share that with. She had a friend. A companion. Someone she could lean on and that could lean on her and it felt like for the first time in her life she was at peace.

And as Star lay there listening to Marco's breathing as her own eyes began to slowly shut, she promised herself that somehow she would help Marco escape this life, they would leave this dreadful ship together. Her nightmarish world felt a little brighter on that day and as sleep finally took hold Star found herself dreaming of light and hope and Marco.

[fixated-addict13]

I’ve been thinking about Sam’s powers. Because i’m obsessed they had so much potential in the later seasons. And i’ve wondered what would happen if they occurred in season 9 after the Gadreel ordeal as well with Abaddon & Metatron. As a result this fic happened. This is my first time writing fanfiction so any suggestions or constructive criticism is welcomed. Currently I’m at chapter three for this, but I though I share this one because maybe other people will enjoy it.

Btw this is an AU so no MOC (I didn’t care for that storyline) and Dean stayed at the bunker so there may be some tension between the brothers if I decide to keep writing this. Castiel also has his grace, but broken wings :(. Also anothe ring inspiration was the writing “Start Here” by Caitlyn Siehl. So if this even gets noticed and read, enjoy! I may add more chapters on here or somewhere like AO3 or Fanfiction.net.

“When is a Monster not a Monster?

Oh, when you love it.”

- Caitlyn Sieht

Chapter 1: “Start by pulling him out of the fire and hoping that he will forget the smell. He was supposed to be an angel…” (Sam P.O.V)

He could feel it.

The dirt.

The impurity.

The unholiness.

The evil.

No matter how hard he tried he couldn’t scrub it out. The closest thing he had to purity was going through the trials. But then again, he couldn’t even get that right.

Everyone acts like they can’t see it. As if they can’t look into his very soul and see the fingerprints of the devil himself.

See the ways his eyes darken when angry. Or when his eyes look almost yellow in the sun.

Almost.

On days when he can’t help but reminisce, he remembers the power, the feeling of being able to kill with just a single thought. Being able to kill the ones once said to be “untouchable”.

He hates those days.

When he looks in the mirror he can’t help but see the worst of himself and those caught in the crossfire.

He sees Lucifer.

He sees Gadreel.

He sees Azazel.

He sees Ruby.

He sees John.

He sees Mary.

He sees Jessica.

He sees . . .

Dean.

God. He prays that he could be as clean as his brother. The so-called “righteous man”. The one the angels and possibly God wanted out of hell.

Not him though.

At least he had Cas, he just wishes someone higher saw worth in him being freed. That maybe God himself saw him more than “The True Vessel of Lucifer”.

More than an Abomination

Boy King

Anti-Christ

Freak

Blood Sucker

Azazel’s Favorite

The Boy with the Demon Blood . . .

It’s funny really. His soul is over centuries-old and he’s 6’4 but they still call him a boy.

Sam!

What was he doing again?

Sam! Sam!

He sounds familiar?

Sammy! Sammy!

Oh right, Dean.

Wait, why is he yelling?

Is he okay? He should probably. . .

______________________________________________________________________________

Gasp!

Sam wakes up with a gasp to a pair of worried green eyes looking down at him and shaking his shoulders. “Sam? Sammy?! It’s okay, it’s okay just breath”.

He didn’t realize he was hyperventilating.

‘What happened to me?’

“We were ambushed by Abaddon and her crew, remember?”

‘Oh. I didn’t know I said that out loud.’

“Why do I feel so... “ He breaks off there and realization dawns at him, and Deans’ solemn look confirms his suspicions.

That’s why he felt it.

He looks around and takes in the atmosphere of the worn-out factory. The wrecked pipes, the drip-drip of falling water. Walls dwindled by age and slimy floors. He remembers now, they had been on a case involving a vampire’s nest. They had tracked them to this factory and Abaddon had…

______________________________________________________________________________

NOT LONG BEFORE:

A group of a dozen or more demons - most likely more - surrounds them. They separate and once Sam is able to decapitate some demons, he sees Dean being outnumbered. He starts to go toward him to assist but is soon stopped in his tracks by an unseen force, quickly he is forced to the wall behind him. Next thing he knows Dean is being restrained by the low-level demons and he is unable to move his limbs from the walls deteriorating surface. Abaddon walks toward him, a wicked smile tucking at her blood-red lips.

“Well, well, well. If it isn’t the Boy with the Demon Blood.”

He’s unable to suppress a small flinch from those words. She seems to revel in his reaction.

“Wish you would’ve told me about your reputation, seeing as you are made specifically for our God himself, … for Lucifer”. She walks closer to him and grips the bottom of his jaw. Her now black eyes looking directly into his.

“DON’T TOUCH HIM YOU BITCH OR I SWEAR I’LL KILL YOU” Dean growls at her.

She turns to him, her face filled with amusement. Then quickly faces the younger Winchester again and continues as if Dean hadn’t spoken.

“Now, where were we? Right. You should’ve told me, Sam. It’s better to learn through the individual than through gossip” she says with a false offense.

“Screw… you.” he retorts through gritted teeth and flaring nostrils.

She scowls in response. Then reaches into her pocket for a small silver dagger. Sam eyes it, his angry and defiant facade faltering a bit. Only a little bit.

“Oh calm down. I’m not gonna hurt you”. She turns her head to Dean. “Him… well he’s expendable”. At this panic fills Sam’s eyes, his attempts to fight against her hold increasing.

She continues looking back at Sam's eyes, however not acknowledging his attempt. “I wonder what the blood from a Knight of Hell would do to a specimen like you.” She wonders while playfully stroking his cheek as if he were her lover. He cringes at the feel of her cold fingers. His mind then begins picking up on the intent of her statement.

Upon his realization, his body fills with trepidation and his blood runs cold. In the background, Dean continues to fight and curse against the demon’s strong grips. She brings the blade to her wrist and slices very slowly as if attempting to tease him. Right away he can smell it, the strong aroma of sulfur. The scent of evil, poison, of … of…

‘Power.’

He blinks and attempts to shake his head against her grip when that thought appears. He can’t become that.

‘I can’t.’

She starts bringing her wrist to his mouth. He tries to take his face out of her hand, but she has a fucking strong grip. She pulls at his bottom jaw opening just enough.

Dean’s curses, protests, and threats fade into the background as Sam gets a look at the blood on her wrist. His tongue waters. And he hates it. He should be over it. Centuries of the cage (of redemption) should dim his craving, his temptation.

Guess he was wrong.

The next thing he knows the taste of metal and sulfur is on his tongue then fills his mouth. He attempts to spit it out, but she has her hand over his mouth and nose. He doesn’t want it.

‘I DON’T WANT IT. (I, YOU, WE NEED IT)’

It goes down his throat as he attempts to take a breath, it burns going down but it feels so damn good.

She takes her hand away from his mouth and nose. Her other wrist still fixed to his mouth. He stops fighting. Pure instinct takes over and he’s practically licking the cut trying to get as much blood as possible. Making sure that none is wasted. He’s pretty sure Dean is eyeing him with disgust and disappointment, but he can't bring himself to care. He could feel the power and energy building up. It builds behind his eyes, in his gut, his entire fucking body. What were once whispers in the back of his mind have now turned to shouts. (‘MOREMOREMOREMOREMORE’)

Then it stops. Everything comes to a standstill, the shouts, and energy dull, his body numbs.

She pulls away and he opens his eyes, he didn’t even realize he had closed them.

Abaddon is smiling wickedly at him. And Dean is… Well, he can’t even bring himself to meet his eyes. Can’t bring himself to see the hate, detest, the. . . the . . . ‘fear’.

‘He should be afraid of me, you, us. I’m, you’re, we’re, way stronger than him than all of them. All I, you, we need is more blood’, his mind whispers.

The pressure builds between his eyes. Blood is rushing in his ears. Abaddon seems to be speaking, but all he could focus on is the beating of her heart. (‘KILLKILLKILL’)

The sound of her and the other demons’ blood rushing. (‘MOREMOREMORE’)

His lips start forming into a grin. He could already feel the cool blood falling from his nose, the blood drying around his mouth. His hands slowly begin to loosen from their fixed point on the wall. The last thing he sees is Abaddon's once satisfied smile falter. Then black begins to fill the edges of his vision, then soon everything follows suit. ______________________________________________________________________________

NOW:

Sam takes into account the number of bodies that surround them, some encompassed in pools of blood. He looks down at his hands, and they're covered in blood (‘not mine’) that hasn’t quite dried yet.

“Did I . . . did I d-do this?” he asks, but deep down he already knows the answer. He just doesn’t want to believe it. Sure, things have been really bad between them lately. Well, bad would be an extreme understatement. But despite that, he just needs some form of assurance.

“Sam . . .” Dean begins with his hands still having a tight clutch on Sam’s shoulders. The younger Winchester attempts to listen to what else he’s saying, his lips are moving but the whispers are back in residence and drown out Dean’s voice.

‘He’s going to lock me, you, us up. Lock the door and throw away the key. He doesn’t need me, need you, need us. I, you, we, need more. All he sees is a monster…

“Sam, it means you’re a monster”

and when is a monster not a monster?’.

TBC

[hellreads]

Thank you for your blog it's really helpful sksjsksj anyway i don't know if you like dark themes(yandere, supernatural, psychological) but if you do what are the best fic you can recommend? Especially Jimin's? Thank you in advance ❤️❤️

hello there lovey! thank you for appreciating my blog, btw I LOVE DARK THEMED FICS and I have read a lot of stories with said theme (yandere and psychological are part of my fave reads), anyways, I will be listing below my favorites for every member, you can also check other fics on my organized shelf in case you’re looking for specific stories xxx | 🍒

Kim Namjoon

❥ Let the Villain Win by @lemonjoonah➴ Author/Yandere!AU | Namjoon x Reader | One-Shot➴ Kim Namjoon, famous author and your childhood friend has been keeping a secret from you. His new book treads on such dark themes that he’s finding it difficult to write. Excited by the prospect of a sinister plot you offer him a piece of advice, “Let the villain win…”

❥ First, Do No Harm by @psycho-slytherin➴ Doctor/Yandere!AU | Namjoon x Reader | One-Shot➴ Dr. Kim is well known as the most skilled heart surgeon in the hospital, but when you notice his mortality statistics seem skewered, you discover all is not what it seems. Now, Dr. Kim is offering you a choice: will you join him? Or become yet another broken heart beneath his scalpel?

❥ A Little Bit of Sugar (but lots of poison too) by @lthyl➴ Noir!AU | Namjoon x Reader | One-Shot➴ Namjoon is well aware that some, well actually most people could find his hobby not exactly common, yet he still considers himself to be a man of tasteful words and higher intellect - someone who managed to understand the true, deepest meaning of beauty itself.

Kim Seokjin

❥ A Portrait’s Whisper by @jimlingss➴ Supernatural!AU | Seokjin x Reader | One-Shot➴ When you’re trapped in a house controlled by a witch’s power, Seokjin will go through every means to search for you again.

❥ Cake by yeyeniejjung➴ Killer/Yandere!AU | Seokjin x Reader | Series➴ “I was always hungry for your love. Just once, I wanted to know what is was like to get my fill of it. I wanted to be fed so much love that I couldn’t take it anymore, just once.”

Min Yoongi

❥ Dead Leaves by wrienne➴ Police/Det!AU | Yoongi x Reader x Jimin | Series➴ In which you (reader) are a homicide detective about to face the biggest hurdle both of your career and life.

Married to probably the kindest but most boring man you’ve ever met and living in a town where nothing ever seems to happen means life for you is dull. Dull enough to drive you crazy with boredom and dissatisfaction. However, life changes abruptly when your old boss retires and a new man takes his place - a man you used to love (and sleep very regularly with) more than a decade ago. Especially when your husband comes home smelling of perfume, you’re unable to resist your more carnal urges and dead women start showing up across the city with unnerving frequency.

Jung Hoseok

❥ Lost and Found by @fortunexkookie➴ Peter Pan!AU | Hoseok x Reader | Series➴ The only hope you had at ending your exile and earning your life back came in the form of an infuriating and uncatchable man: Hoseok. He seemed to love the endless game of cat-and-mouse you two played - so much, in fact, that you were unsure if you were the cat or the mouse. What he failed to realize was that there was a third player, and this one wasn’t after him. The Crocodile hunted you with an intensity that rivaled the way you chased Hoseok, but with one difference: the games he played were deadly.

❥ Taken at Dusk by @yeontanismypresident➴ Hybrid/Yandere!AU | Hoseok x Reader x Jungkook | Series ➴ The moment you sauntered into the party, his gaze was locked in on your form. Everywhere you went, his eyes followed along, not wanting to lose you in the huge crowd of sweaty bodies. There was something about you that drove his instincts wild. Was it your scent? Your attitude? The manner in which you held yourself? He didn’t have a clue and he couldn’t have cared less, so long as you were his and his only. And he would do anything to make that happen.

❥ Red Door, Yellow Door by @polaritae➴ Supernatural/Incubus!AU | Seokjin x Reader x Hoseok | One-Shot➴ In hindsight, maybe going into a trance to communicate with the spirit world was a bad idea.

Park Jimin

❥ Eradicate by @gukptune➴ Purge!AU | Jimin x Reader | One-Shot➴ A hotel intern finds himself trapped between death and lust.

❥ Neighbors by @jkeuphoriadreamland➴ Neighbors/Yandere!AU | Jimin x Reader | Series➴ Finally achieving your successes in life you never expected the distraction that came with your new hot neighbor. He however, had been trying to get your attention for a much different reason.

❥ Otherworldly by @sinning-on-a-sunday➴ Coraline!AU | Jimin x Reader | Two-Shot➴ When you discover a tiny door in your home that leads to a much better version of your own life, it seems too good to be true. little do you know, the man posing as your boyfriend may be a lot more dangerous than you care to admit. and he is not intent on letting you leave.

❥ The Uncanny by sinsirella➴ Stalker/Yandere!AU | Jimin x Reader | Series➴ “The uncanny is the psychological experience of something as strangely familiar, rather than simply mysterious.” An everyday object or occurrence can be experienced as something unsettling and alienated. This is accompanied by a discomforting effect and—most of the time—leads to an outright rejection of said subject. Or Someone.(Y/N) is a young girl whose Life turns upside down. One day her mother surprises her with news of her arranged husband, forcing her into her new chaotic lifestyle. Join her journey and experience her new life through her eyes. Will she get along with her husband? Or someone else? What are they hiding?

❥ Nine-One-One by @yminie➴ Det/Killer!AU | Jimin x Reader | Series➴ When murder and crime threaten the city of Seoul, there’s a team in place to help keep the public safe, but just what do you do when all your training is to help others, and the one that needs help is actually you?

❥ Devotion by @sugaxjpg➴ Angel/Demon!AU | Jimin x Reader | One-Shot➴ As an angel questioning your place in Heaven, the last thing you needed was for someone like him to appear.

❥ The Devil’s Own Luck by @jimlingss​➴ Demon!AU | Jimin x Reader | One-Shot➴ You should’ve known that opening that box would’ve made your luck go rotten. And not only that, but a certain demon would end up following you for the rest of your days. Introducing the devilish boy - Jimin! Your childhood best friend from the underworld who will never leave your side!

Kim Taehyung ( I read a lot of dark fics for Taehyung so just check my shelf)

❥ Beastly Gods by @lemonjoonah​➴ Hybrid/Yandere!AU | Taehyung x Reader | One-Shot➴ ‘Don’t leave the forest,’ a rule that you’ve been forced to follow since birth, but you are tired of living in this wooden cage. Out of desperation you cut a deal with Taehyung, who claims to be the only one who can get you out safely, even though he might be just as dangerous as the god you’re trying to escape.

❥ Minutiae by coconutty ➴ Stalker!AU | Taehyung x Reader | Series➴ Y/N meets a mysterious and alluring photographer and wants to interview him. Along the way things start getting a bit strange. What happens when you draw the attention of someone who always gets what they want?

❥ L’Appel Du Vide by @infireation​➴ Killer!AU | Taehyung x Reader | Series➴ //

Jeon Jungkook (I read a lot of JK dark fics too so pls just check my shelf)

❥ Only You by @sweetbunnykook (+ all of her stories!!!)➴ Lovers/Yandere!AU | Jungkook x Reader x Namjoon x Jin | Series➴ Jeon Jungkook, your wedding photographer, helps you escape on your big day upon learning about a secret your groom-to-be kept hidden. You soon fall for this young, passionate photographer. However, you underestimated just how much he was willing to reciprocate that love. Maybe, you think, he’s loving you just a little too much.

❥ Every Breath You Take by @junqkook​➴ Stalker/Yandere!AU | Jungkook x Reader | Series➴ Everything was going great when you first met jeon jungkook. he was a new light in your life with soft smiles and tinkling laughs; but then you noticed a lurking presence that seemed to follow you wherever you went.

❥ Lust by @umitae➴ Stalker/Killer!AU | Jungkook x Reader | Series➴ Everybody has a lust for something. but his lust was beyond the ordinary one. his lust for you was out of this world. he only wanted you and in order to make you his, everything had to go his way.

OT7 (so all possible dark tags apply to these stories so please please please check all tags and warnings before reading!!!)

❥ Extreme Obsession by saylilirose➴ Psychological/Poly!AU | OT7 x Reader | Series➴ In life, you meet one person that you live and grow old with. You? You meet seven. But your love? Non-existent. But theirs? Real…and obsessive.Which turns deadly and dangerous. Without hesitation.

❥ The Scarlet Lust by infires_fanfic➴ Vampire!AU | OT7 x Reader | Series➴ Your world becomes turned upside down as a series of unfortunate events places you directly in the hands of a clan of blood-thirsty vampires, where you become their one and only human servant. Filled with uncertainty, strange emotions and many questions, what truths will you uncover? Are your new keepers the intimate form of evil incarnate, or is there humanity hidden beneath the surface of their statuesquely beautiful faces?

[red-dia]

hi! i've always loved your hnk panel redraws and recently i've been so inspired by them that i've tried my hand at coloring some panels too! if you don't mind me asking, do you have any tips?

oh i certainly do! some of these are a bit generic/art related but they’re definitely useful in this case too. I’m adding a read more because unfortunately it got a bit long but here you go:

1) Get to know your tools!

Since you weren’t very specific, I’ll assume you aren’t too familiar with art softwares (and if you are, you can just skip that part it’s not That deep). I’ll start with the basics; I know this is obvious, but please bear with me, because understanding how your program works WILL make you a lot more efficient.Here are quick descriptions of some features I think are very useful - I use Clip Studio Paint, but I believe most programs have equivalents. If you don’t know them, please experiment with them, they’ll come in handy!

- Locking transparency :

Locking the transparency of a layer means only the parts where something is already drawn can be modified. Basically, you can recolour something that already exists in a rather precise way.

This is very useful for gradients, which I’ll talk about a bit later.

- Clipping layers :

This gives the same result as locking a layer then drawing over it, but the difference is that you use more than 1 layer ; one as the bottom layer, defining the part of the canvas you can draw on, and the others, clipped on top, where you’ll draw. This can be more practical than locking transparency, because if you have a lot of details to add, doing everything on a single layer may make things more difficult.

I use this a lot when I shade, but just like gradients, I’ll bring that up later.

- Layer settings :

These options change the way the colours on a layer blend with the colours below. As an example, addglow is pretty good for colouring very bright light sources or for adding highlights on gems  :

Basically, using those isn’t a necessity, but they’re still pretty useful so I’d recommend experimenting with them whenever you feel like it!

- Magic Wand : 

Not the most complicated to use, but damn it’s really useful. It allows you to make selections based on the colours you’re targeting, so basically, if you need to colour an entire area a certain colour, you can just select it from the original panel, go on the layer where you’re colouring, and colour nothing but the part you selected. That’s about it!

There are lots of others, but these are the main ones you need to know about when you’re getting started. 

2) Colouring stuff

This is where it gets interesting! I guess! I’m not too good at just coming up with these kind of tips, so I’ll illustrate with some colouring, hopefully it’ll help you out?

I usually colour in 5 parts : 1) Preparing the panel(s), 2) Applying flat colours, 3) Adding gradients, 4) Adding shading, 5) Finalising with details.

I always prepare pages in the same way: first, I use the magic wand to select everything i do NOT want to colour ; the frames around the panels, the speech bubbles, the sfx, etc. Once they’re selected, I copy them, and paste them on a new layer. Then, I select the original layer, and turn it transparent so I can colour below while still keeping the lines. To do that, I go in Menu > Edit > Change brightness to opacity (in CSP at least, it depends on your program tho but most of them support this, I think!).

I end up with something like this : 

Two layers, one on the bottom with the semi-transparent page, and another on top, with everything that I don’t plan on touching. On the page on the right, you can get an idea of what it looks like when you add a layer below these 2 and draw on it.

Now that I’m done with the panel, I can start adding some (flat) colours. 

I think it’s a good idea to start with the background, because it’ll help you figure out the feeling you want to give the panel.

The airbrush is a pretty good tool for gradients btw, just make sure you use a brush that is big enough so the transition in colours looks natural.

Next, I add a new layer, and colour the shape of the characters (and here the vessel as well), so it stands out from the background. It’ll make colouring less complicated, since the lines will be clearer.

As you can see, I was kind of confident, so I directly added a gradient. The bottom of the panel is a bit “darker”, because I wanted the main light source to be the reflect on Phos’….. head thing?

Here’s something kind of important about your choice of colours : if you’re colouring an area that is already shaded in the original panel, I would recommend taking a colour that is more saturated than it should, or else the colour may end up looking dull because the original shading will make it darker.

Next, I do more flat colours. Nothing too fancy, and pretty much everything is on different layers. The clothes are left uncoloured because the background colour already fits, so it’s okay honestly

Then, I added some gradients using clip layers :

As a reference, I used some overlay layers for Dia’s hair, and some addglow layers for Phos’ alloy.

I mean it when I say gradients are important! They make your colouring feel more complete even when they’re barely visible. quickly coloured bortz for reference, assuming tumblr won’t compress the colours too much:

the bastard on the left has nothing but flat colours. They’re nice, but when you’ll have shaded everything, chances are it’ll look kind of …. i dunno, like something is missing? So yeah, gradients : good, though i would recommend you keep them in the same tone as the base colour. I’ll talk about this a bit more later if i don’t forget.

Ok! next: 

I felt like golden colours weren’t quite fitting the mood, so i added a layer with blue on top of it to make it colder. It’s at 40% transparency, so you can still see the colours behind well enough. Some parts were slightly erased because i liked the idea of these parts being lighter (you can see it a little bit around phos’ neck, or above dia’s knees : these parts are yellower than the rest of the pic)

I added some shading! Nothing too fancy. also not to sound like some gradient-freak but you can add some of those in shading as well, it’s usually a nice touch.

After than, I added some lightings, which are on a layer clipped on the original manga panel (so basically only the black parts of the original image changed colours, and the colouring work I did on the layers below wasn’t really affected, if that makes sense?)

The red lighting is the obvious one (it’s an airbrush, and i used an eraser to clear the part near Phos’ head so it looks like it’s coming from above/behind them and not from themself). 

There is another lighting at the bottom, which is grey/blueish, to contrast with the warm colours on the top of the pic. it also kind of looks like smoke but yeah

Now the panel is mostly done, and I’m starting the “details” part.

Something I find really bothersome in the manga is the *original* shading : while it’s always really good, colouring under it will leave some grid of pixels on top of your colours, so to counter that i just colour on top of the grid by colour picking and painting on a layer above the manga layer.

It’s a bit tedious but it has a texture that makes it look like a painting. The downside is that the colours can be altered since you’re colourpicking from something with an irregular pattern, but it can end up making your panel look less boring, honestly, it just depends on what you’re aiming for!

I end up with something like that : 

And then it’s just. Whatever man. I added a black border and some highlights, sparkles, etc, it’s the kind of things you do when you’re basically done. 

For the technical aspect, I’m not sure I have a lot more to add. If you want some advices for picking colours, tho…

3) General colour stuff :

These are just recommendations! Licherally these are mental notes i came up with ever since i’ve started colouring, so they’re kind of personal and if you don’t follow them you’ll be fine, i suppose. But so far they’ve been useful to me so consider them whenever you’ll be colouring something:

- Do not use pure white! Unless it’s for something CLEARLY meant to stand out, such as the frame of your pages, a speech bubble, sparkles, or a light source/something very shiny. If you’re just colouring something that is not meant to draw attention, use some other shade of white, but not the  #ffffff one if you see what i mean?

- Same about pure black, to be honest. 

The shades circled in red tend to look “emptier” than the ones circled in green (here the hue of the colour is yellow but it works with most colours). It doesn’t mean you can’t use it, just, use it sparingly or it may make things look dull I think? I would recommend trying a few shades before taking a decision.

- Sometimes adding highlights where the shading starts can make the transition look smoother: 

- Even if a panel is already shaded in the original page, I would recommend shading it again, because the manga shading is a black shading and shading a coloured drawing with black usually doesn’t look that good. (hence why i said something about using saturated colours in shading earlier).

- Even if a panel isn’t shaded in the original page, consider shading it anyways, even if it’s just a very light shading. It’s worth it :o)

I’m running out of things to say oh well

[dingletragedy]

🌟Lets spread some love for content creators because they havent gotten as much as they deserve lately! If you get this tell me about five works you love (fics, art, gifs, anything!) then send this message to at least five other people🌟

right five MORE let’s go!!!!! i love this game:

@artsy-highway what can i about about leo and all their talent ... so SO much and i know i’m know i’m supposed to focus on one piece of work but a whole series counts, right? leo’s comfortember well... just that... so bloody comforting!!!!! each new fic brings me heaps of warmth and happiness each day. i’m amaze at how leo is so committed to the series, giving us not only a new fix every damn day, but ones that are so unique and brilliant and captivating. your imagination!!!!!! i could NEVER. the fics are always the last thing i read before i go to sleep, and the first things i think about it the morning. thank you for making this gloomy, dull, lockdown november that little easier and more joyous for us all. AND we’re only halfway through.. what a TREAT <33

@cqllumhighway so as we are probably aware i ADORE everything cait creates. every. last. thing!!!! and it was so difficult to choose just one gif self because damn, they’re all so brilliant. but this one — remember, the sun is a star too — this one is more than that, it’s stunning and gorgeous and so heartachingly them. i am in Love with the ideology that callum is and ben is the moon and if anyone wants to know why, check this gifset out. "callum had a smile bright enough to outshine the sun / ben ia all darkness amd starlight eyes" i mean !!!!!! have you ever heard anything thats them better? i sure as Hell haven't!!! MY HEART. i have no idea how cait does it, to alwayss manage to find the most beautiful and fitting quotes/poems and turn then into the most gorgeous gifsets with her insane talents. she outdoes herself every time. were so lucky to have you, cait x

@callumsmitchells lucy has produced So many incredible fics for our lil fandom (47!!!) and we are so lucky to have been blessed with each and every one of them, but a particular favourite of mine (and everyone else’s i assume) is i can't get over the way (you love me like you do) — this au has all the tropes we could ever dream of included, all which are written so SO well and incredibly in character for ben and callum. which is testament to lucy’s talents, she’s knows there two so well that she could throw them in any universe and they would just make sense. the above fic is beautiful from start to finish, it’s hopeful and it’s tender and it’s full of all these tiny little detail that’ll make your eyes cry and your heart smile. it’s just... it’s so WARM. like a massive hug on a winters day. you’re an angel, luce <33

@halfwayinit i remember reading one of katie’s very first fics, laid bare, on my way to work very early one morning and it just made me so Happy!!!!! i fell in love with her poetry-like words. but i don’t think we’d ever spoken much at this point, but i’ll always remember how down katie felt about her fics and her (incredible) writing talents. and then i compare that to now - and her more recent fics such as it’s a kind of magic and God!!!! God, i am SO unbelievably proud of this girl!!!! it’s a kind of magic is Everything. it’s one of my favourite fics forever and always. it’s as if katie has this crazy ability to put you under a spell (ha! see what i did there...) and draw you in. her words are so captivating that’s it’s literally impossible not to read this fic in one go!!!! and god, it’s such a happy read. it’s got that perfect balance of angst and fluff, of will they won’t they? but beneath it all is this overwhelming sense of love and hope that’ll leave you grinning at your phone like an idiot. and as much as i LOVED Katie’s earlier fics too (so SO much!!!) i cry everything i think about how fats she’s come in her writing and confidence and everything. i lov her btw x

@permetstu vikki!!!! what can i say without vikki with sounding like some obsessed fan girl, huh? well firstly this was Very hard to choose just one creation because vikki has put so many brilliant pieces out there for us all to enjoy ... in fact it was such a hard choice i’ve actually gone with two lmao sorry i don’t make the rules i just break them 🥴 annnway: gifset this edit of their first meeting... it’s SO wonderful in so many way. i absolutely love the black & white look but the added yellow really makes it. it makes something so new and tentative feel so warm and familiar and comforting. and that’s just what ballum are, aren’t they? and the words vikki has chosen just for perfectly!!!! my Heart!!!!!!!! now for a fic: a million ways (to say i love you) ... wow!!!! i think this was the first fic of vikki’s that i ever read and God, i had no idea she could write like THAT. damn this girl and her endless talents!!!!! this fic is gorgeous from the very first word to the very last, it’s tender and gentle and hopeful. vikki’s characterisation of the boys is so brilliant, this fic is everything they are an md so much more. i’m in AWE <33

[sadsentinel]

i wld trade a kidney for literally any elliott/leah content my dude

hi anon! sorry it took me so long to get this written out. i hope you like it! also, you can keep your kidneys, i’ll settle for a like :)

btw, i’ve started a story on wattpad that will contain all the stardew oneshots i write. you can find it here!

The late afternoon sky glowed orange through Leah's window. Have I really been working that long?  She'd noticed only once that the light peeking through her curtains had begun to change, but that had been... she wasn't quite sure how long ago that had been.

Her stomach grumbled and she realized she hadn't eaten since breakfast. After the new farmer had moved to town and convinced her to host an art show, she'd been working even harder on her sculptures. There had been many a day since then that she had forgotten to take breaks, even to eat, she was so focused on her sculpting.

She smiled to herself as she looked over her current work-in-progress. This one would have to wait until tomorrow morning, unless a bout of inspiration struck her as she tried to sleep that night. That had been happening now more than ever, and she was glad. She relished in the fact that moving here had been the right decision. After all of the good things that had happened to her here in Pelican Town, she couldn't imagine living any other way, or anywhere else.

She'd made true friends, gained the courage to share her art, and best of all, she was happy.

A muffled cough, barely audible above the babbling stream outside, pulled her attention away from her thoughts. Who could that be? She prepared herself to go meet whoever it was, but first ran her fingers over her work, a little surprised at how well it was turning out. She'd expected this design to be much harder than she had originally anticipated. She quickly recoiled when she drew her finger over what felt like a massive splinter.

"Ow!" She shook her hand as if to dull the pain, and gingerly picked the splinter out. Her lips formed a hard line as she did, and her finger radiated pain with each heartbeat. She pulled a pale sheet over her sculpture and kicked a few of the larger wood shavings out of the walkway. That's enough for today.

She slipped into her boots and emerged from her home for the first time that day. The warm, summer sunlight washed over her, and she shut her eyes for a moment, just to take in the comforting feeling of it. Something about life in the country made her appreciate the small things, like enjoying the sunshine. That was something she'd never been able to do in the city. There was too much hustle and bustle, and it was too loud to hear the quiet, calming sounds of nature.

"Elliott? Is that you?"  She held her hand over her eyes to block the sun, and peered out at the figure sitting by the edge of the water. The man turned and smiled.

"Leah! It's good to see you. Why don't you join me?" He patted the spot beside him, and she walked over to accompany him. "How have you been? I haven't seen much of you lately."

It was true; she'd become somewhat of a recluse. The inspiration she'd felt lately had occupied her entire day, for weeks now.

"Yeah, sorry. I've been distracted, I suppose." She leaned back and placed her hands on the ground for support, but flinched when a stab of pain coursed through her finger. "Ouch." She lifted her hand and shook it out once again, until the pain became but a dull sensation.

"What happened?" Elliott's voice dripped with concern for his friend. He extended his hand, genuine worry causing his eyebrows to knit together. She placed her hand in his and he turned it over, inspecting it for injury.

"Just a big splinter. It'll heal." She waved his worry away with her free hand, but his concern didn't fade like she'd hoped it would.

"You should be careful," he said, pulling something from his pocket. Leah realized it was a bandage as he began wrapping it around her finger, as gentle as if he were cradling a baby bird. Elliott had always been gentle and caring, and despite their slight age difference, she was drawn to him. He'd been kind to her since the day they'd met, when he wandered into the Saloon looking to meet everyone.

"Hi, I'm Leah." She smiled at him, feeling a nervous blush spread across her cheeks.

"Elliott. It's a pleasure to meet you," he responded, shaking her hand gently, but firmly. "Oh! Your hands—" He'd noticed the roughness of her skin that came from hours of sculpting. She glanced down at her calloused, work-hardened hands.

"Oh, I'm a sculptor. Wood carving." She felt herself smile again, albeit involuntarily, as the embarrassment flushed her cheeks.

"Really!" he exclaimed. "I'm an artist myself. A writer," he said. "Art really does come in many forms, doesn't it?"

"I suppose you're right. It does." Leah grinned widely, genuinely happy there was another artist in town. She'd always been afraid of sharing her art, but maybe he could help her overcome that fear. If not, at least she had one person she could potentially bond over the craft with.

The pair talked long into the night, until Gus called over to them from behind the bar, "It's almost closin' time, folks." Emily yawned in the corner as she washed down a few tables.

Leah glanced around, and realized they were the only ones left. Everyone else had already headed home for the night.

"Oh! We should really get home, it's getting awful late." She rarely stayed out so long into the night, but this was an exception. She'd made a new close friend, and they had so much in common. She could only hope they would remain friends for a long time to come.

They didn't go straight home that night, though. Elliott had asked if she wanted to go to the beach for awhile, and although her limbs felt heavy with exhaustion, she found herself agreeing. They'd talked for several more hours, about their pasts, about art, about Pelican Town, about everything. They only realized how late it was getting, or early rather, when the sun began to shine on the horizon. The colors of the sky changed from a deep, purplish-blue, to a beautiful shade of lavender, until the paler blues, yellows, and hazy orange glow filled the still star-speckled sky.

"Is that better?" he asked, still holding her hand with a kind of softness only he was capable of. She nodded, appreciative of his care.

"Thanks."

A soft breeze blew a few scattered leaves over the sparkling water that flowed peacefully beneath them. The orange haze of the sunset reflected back on them, and filled the air with an otherworldly glow you could only ever experience here.

"I'm glad I met you," Leah said. She tossed her bright red hair over her shoulder and smiled at her friend.

"So am I. The town is beautiful, the wilderness simply beckons for you with its peaceful, calming aura, and the soft crashing of the waves makes the beach the perfect place to call home. And the people. The people are kind and warm-hearted." He winked at her, and the corners of her lips turned upwards in a smile.

"It's so nice to have another artist in town, y'know. You really get me." Elliott smiled at the compliment and chuckled.

"Good. I had planned on sticking around for a long time."

[lovleez]

you zhangjing "azoraland” mv theory

i finally found the words to write this :D

if you want, it might be easier for you to process this if you watch these two before reading:

azoraland mv

night of one star mv

okay, to start off

i'm going to assume the start of this mv could have taken place before humans  have been "created" (it’ll make sense soon just wait)

i think we all can agree here when i say that zhangjing emits an aura of a supernatural being, right?

so like in the beginning of the mv we see zhangjing in a sort of mournful state. the colors around him are all dark/purple-ish hue, which gives way to a depressing mood. you can also see zhangjing expressing sorrowful movements with his body (ex: reaching out for something, which expresses his yearning for something that was lost perhaps?). another hint to this mood is the lightning and rain. these two elements in media are usually used to express a depressing mood, which is exactly what they are doing here. you can even say that the electric rain represents his tears.

now why is zhangjing so sad? idk man. moving on-

jk jk, i'm actually going to loop in the "night of one star" mv here. in contrast to azoraland, its bright and pink, full of explosive color. you felt happy watching it right? (or not because i felt confused but well. yeah) perhaps zhangjing found his happiness there too. perhaps in the time between these two mvs, zhangjing lost his happiness, causing him to be in the state he is now. i won't go further into this 

now fast forward to 1:45 in the mv. the weird part. ppl are exploding from the ground. why? idk. it was a weird decision on the hand of the creative team. but this could as well as represent the birth of humans, no? note down that as zhangjing is walking through the field of exploding humans, we can see interest is shown in his face (or maybe i'm seeing things, lets just pretend he looks interested for my sake) 

ok then fast forward in time (not like mv time but in the mv universe) and you see the humans simply chillin in the sand. but whats this? the atmosphere is quite dull, no? as if the humans are all lost.

cue zhangjing (obv, it is his mv)

in this part of the mv, zhangjing is simply going "oooooooo" (very pleasing to hear btw, thank u for ur heavenly vocals). but what if, take this, its a call to the humans?

(yes it may look like he's purely singing in these, but lets think abt it creatively for my sake once more okay)

see, everyone is perking up towards voice. moments after/during the call, the humans start walking towards zhangjing's assumed location in what seems to me like a trance like state.

-

okay, pause about the mv for a lil while. what does everybody know abt sirens?

in greek mythology, sirens were:

“singing enchantresses capable of luring passing sailors to their islands, and, subsequently, to their doom.“

are the pieces clicking in your mind yet 👀👀👀

if not then

yes, i am implying that mayhaps zhangjing could possibly have powers similar to a siren. but not that he is a siren, no. just similar to one. (keep in mind we've already established that zhangjing is perhaps a powerful creature)

ok so

this part really is what stood out the most to me. it seems very out of place, right? there's two things about the gif i want to address.

before i do, i want to say that what we see in this scene could possibly be what the humans are seeing themselves (basically it’s in their pov)

okay so

1) his gaze. its very entrancing and sharp right? like it's beckoning you to come closer

2) the sudden change in scenery. no longer are things dark and gloomy. now we have arrived at a sunrise, everything is bathed in light. which, to me, seems like all this sudden yellow hue is representing hope (from the dark gloomy scenery or whatever else). also sunrises represent new beginning right? which is kinda related to hope???

as it zooms out, we see humans running towards zhangjing.

but whats this? back to the original scenery, are we?

i won't go further into this until later, but this scene suites the more darker route for the mv ending

ok so for the lighter route :D

where are the humans going? the mv suggests nothing, but my brain came up with something.

brushing back to the earlier half of this mv, we have to remember zhangjing seemed like he was in a pretty dark place himself. but what if he saw these humans just be vibing sadly and thought "what if i could offer them the happiness i once found in my life (the night of one star mv)"

basically, zhangjing saw that they were experiencing the same sorrow as him, and wanted to offer them something better. so, where they jump to would basically be a place that makes them happier, which could be implied by the golden rays representing happiness and better times.

right? right??? ayra plz tell me this ends happily :')

ahahaha its a likely theory but i have a stronger one that gets a bit dark ;-;

(aka plz kadoodle off here and accept that as the only theory if your uncomfy with death)

so ;-;

look we all knew this was coming the moment i mentioned sirens okay.

now lets go back to that one scene

recall that i told ya'll that zhangjing's hawk gaze was in the pov of humans. that is a key piece.

this scene would be in the pov of zhangjing.

the humans are in a trance like state, yes? they are too blinded by what zhangjing is showing them. whats he showing them? happiness maybe. that's why everything is in a golden hue.

this gif shows that everything is not as it seems.

they are, for sure, in a trance

note down in the mv that when they start jumping off the cliff, zhangjing is nowhere to be seen.

it is neither shown, nor implied that he jumped off with them.

what conclusion do i draw from this? the sunrise and whatever the humans see is an illusion.

zhangjing is, in fact, leading them to their deaths, as is the nature of the sirens.

why? idk man.

i just don't know.

(actually i need to connect this back to the first half of the mv for the sake of closure. remember that the humans were just vibin (sadly) on the sand....but they were in pairs. maybe they were actually happy. maybe zhangjing just didn't like that they achieved something he had lost)

anyways.....plz take this with a pinch of salt. i pulled this out of nowhere, and surely the mv had a different meaning. i didn't even bother looking into the song lyrics too so. yeah. ✌