#(everyone knows this I never shut up about it but I don't care I will talk about it forever and ever)

[keferon]

TexAid continues to rot my brain I hope you don't mind I had an idea for Shockwave. Warning for mentioned super unethical experimentation.

====

Vortex didn’t remember the first day his dad had brought him to work. He’d been too young, young enough to have stars in his eyes about giant robots and a desire to be tested by the cool machines his dad worked on, according to what he’d been told. The standard idiot child. 

Of course that had been where him being standard had ended. 

But that meant he had grown up at the facility, that he knew it better than almost anyone else and knew everyone in it. Which was why he was currently keeping his cockpit shut tight even as First Aid kept hammering the button to open it. 

Shockwave, the only pilot to ever make it to retirement was on the other side of his one way red glass visor staring like he could see through it. Maybe he could. Once upon a time he had been kind. Once upon a time he had actual eyes instead of the bionic yellow glow that shrunk and grew as he focused it. 

His mech had had a fatal accident, one that should have killed him too. But Shockwave hadn’t been lucky enough to die, instead he had been a test subject, to see if machine and human could get just a little closer to being one. 

Vortex had never liked any of his pilots enough to care but looking at Shockwave made him mentally promise First Aid that he would never let him live if he got heavily wounded in a fight. If Vortex was dying he’d take the other man with him as a mercy. Better that than this, having everything he was scooped out. 

One metal hand came up to tap on his glass, like he was knocking on the door of a house. “Vortex let me meet him, I want to see why this one is special.” 

First Aid stopped trying to open the visor and slunk back behind the pilot seat and if Vortex could relax he would have at having him less exposed. Vortex wondered if he should chew First Aid up a little? Make him less special? But it was too late. 

The only consolation was that his reputation as a pilot killer protected First Aid, made him too valuable to let him be dragged down into Shockwave’s lab for tests that weren’t a guaranteed success. 

Shockwave continued, “Wouldn’t you like to have a body again? The first mech to human full-translation. You're an ideal candidate for obvious reasons.” But of course that wasn’t what he really wanted. No Shockwave’s real project was human to mech translation, more than what had been done to him, on a grander scale than replacing most of a human with a machine. Shockwave was large, but he was still person sized. 

Vortex had been smart enough to keep his existence at rumors and Shockwave couldn’t prove he was in here. He was trying to use First Aid to lure him out. 

He felt First Aid’s hands tighten on the back of the seat, as if he was ready to fight being pulled away from it. But Vortex kept his cockpit closed and after a long time Shockwave sighed and turned away. “Well perhaps once you get bored of him, just leave him in usable pieces.” 

Vortex watched him jump off the gangway and heard the sound of metal hitting the ground below him before easy footsteps. For a moment he was jealous of what Shockwave had, but not at that price. Even after he was gone it took a long moment before Vortex let his cockpit open. It took longer for First Aid to leave it. 

OH DAMN…

YOU KNOW WHAT. As much as I love Senator Shockwave. The Idea of him being that creepy fucking scientist really fits here oh my god

[wonhes]

ᝰ RII7E AND HOW THEY ACT WHEN THEY’RE JEALOUS

PAIRING: riize x reader

GENRE: fluff, maybe angst if u really squint and tilt ur head and turn ur phone to the side

WARNINGS: none that i can think of

ᥫ᭡ SHOTARO

— stop because I genuinely believe shotaro wouldn't care. but like definitely not in a bad way! he just seems like the type to be so reassured in your relationship. he knows you wouldn't do anything to hurt him and vise versa. if he spots someone flirting with you, he would honestly just find it amusing. because can he really blame them? look at you! he would sit back and watch the scene unfold. I feel like he also wouldn't have an issue sharing you with his members either. like I feel like the boys would go to you for advice and would love having you around and he would love that! he only ever draws the line whenever he's trying to get some alone time with you and his members keep butting in. he wouldn't be super jealous, but he would more so be annoyed with maybe just a tad bit hint of jealousy. I can see him getting up from his spot and rolling his eyes before pushing away his members. he would shake his head at them before mumbling, "go away! my yn, it's my turn." as he shuts the door on their faces. he would turn back to you and let out a big sigh of relief with a playful smile on his face.

ᥫ᭡ EUNSEOK

— guys, eunseok to me seems like the type that gets jealous but is in complete denial about it. he teases you whenever YOU get jealous so he cannot show you that he gets jealous. bc he doesn't get jealous! fr fr! like pft him? eunseok jealous? no way! or at least that's what he keeps telling himself. but god whenever he sees someone is standing a little too close to you for his liking he swears he feels his eye twitch. and you keep smiling at them. why are you smiling? and did you just laugh? why are you laughing? so many thoughts would raise eunseok's head but he would shake them away and tightly grip on to whatever item he was currently holding. you would then spot him, run up to him, and place your arms around him but he would shake you off. he would mumble something along the lines of "go back to your little boyfriend" and you would immediately smirk at his words. seeing your smirk, he would quickly shake his head at you. he's not jealous! he doesn't get jealous! he really doesn't!!

ᥫ᭡ SUNGCHAN

— oh mf doesn't hide it nor does he try to. he trusts you 100% but he doesn't trust others. he seems like the type to never leave you alone in a gathering but if he has to, he would make it so quick. if he has to leave you and he sees someone else talking you up, he would glare at the other person from across the room and quickly come back to you. he would instantly place his hands on your waist and bring you closer to him. he would without a doubt insert himself in y'alls conversation as well. fake laughing along before sending the other person a tight lipped smile before asking, "what are we laughing at?" he makes sure everyone knows that you two are dating. oh and he would definitely kiss you in front of the person that was flirting with you. kinda in a way to tell them to back off without verbally saying it. but if he has to verbally say it, he definitely will. don't test my man. and please, he acts the exact same when you're talking to his members. he simply just doesn't want to share you.

ᥫ᭡ WONBIN

— ... I feel like there's two sides of jealous wonbin. on one hand, he seems like the silent jealous type. like as soon as he sees someone flirting with you, you best believe he's huffing and puffing. he would scoff at the sight and would clench his jaw as he would see the person continue to try and flirt with you but he wouldn't do anything about it. he would just silently stare daggers at them. and on the other hand, he "jokingly" acts like he's jealous but in reality, he's not joking. this side of him only ever comes out when you two are hanging out with his members though. like he always, and I mean always, has to have an arm, a hand or literally be around you when you two are hanging out with the boys. the boys would try and have a conversation with you and there wonbin was placing a quick kiss on your cheek causing you to revert your focus back to him. and that's why he does it. because he doesn't want you focusing too much on them.

ᥫ᭡ SEUNGHAN

— seunghan seems like the jealous type but the type that doesn't get jealous easily you know? he's the type to not care too much when someone is flirting with you but god when he sees you spending a little too much time with one of your friends that's where he draws the line. you two would be on the couch and then you mumble something about having to leave soon to go meet your friend. and seunghan would not be for it at all. he's immediately pouting and shaking his head. and instead of letting you go and telling you to be safe, like any other normal person would, seunghan hugs your figure tightly and places a leg over you to stop you from leaving him. when you giggle and tell him to let go, he immediately says no and continues pouting at you. "wouldn't you rather spend more time with your amazing, awesome, handsome boyfriend?" he would ask, offering you his best puppy dog eyes causing you to giggle and realize what was going on.

ᥫ᭡ SOHEE

— god sohee would get jealous but literally just the pouty jealous kind. he wouldn't know how to act or react to someone flirting with you. he wouldn't know what to say when he feels like you've been hanging out with your one of your friends a bit more either. he would literally just pout. he would be so pouty and often times would overthink things which would cause him to get a tiny bit insecure. all sohee ever wants to do is please you so if he sees someone else flirting with you or if he feels like you're spending more time with one of your friends he would simply sulk. and you knew of this too. so whenever you would see him pouting, you would immediately go up to him and place your lips against his while mumbling a soft "I love you." a wide smile would quickly replace his pout and he would instantly kiss you back before mumbling an "I love you more" and just like that all his worries and insecurities would quickly vanish.

ᥫ᭡ ANTON

— anton gets jealous over the little things but here's the catch, he doesn't actually realize he's jealous until he finds himself catching an attitude about it. you two would be hanging out with his members and he would see you getting a little too close to sohee and anton would immediately start losing it. he would act like if he didn't care but as soon as sohee is standing near him, he would purposely bump into him and offer him a lame ass "sorry" before continuing to walk to god knows where. he also seems like the type that would just completely shut down. the boys would try and get a conversation out of him but anton could quite frankly not care less. it wouldn't be until you would see him actively avoiding the members that you would go up to him and he would mumble out a quick, "what? is sohee busy now?" when you finally catch on to his jealousy, you would playfully ask if he's jealous. laughing you would wait for him to deny it but would be in complete shock when he shyly nods while avoiding your eye contact. ironic that he's tall because at that very moment he would feel so tiny and vulnerable. and silly, god he would feel so silly.

[writingwithciara]

could be -jack hughes-

summary: y/n and jack are as inseparable as real best friends should be. so much so that even though they're not dating, she is considered a 'wag' anyway

word count: 4.6k

pairing: jack hughes x reader

notes: jack is just precious and so wholesome istg.

masterlist

growing up, jack was always taught to treat women with respect. he was also told that he should pay special attention to the girl in his life that meant the world to him.

and that's what he did with y/n. she was his best friend & had been since the 6th grade. ever since they met, they were completely inseparable.

even when jack went straight from high school to being a professional hockey player, y/n went with him. she figured she could take a gap year then enroll in school in jersey once she found one that was right for her.

it was obvious to everyone that their close friendship bordered on a real relationship but nobody could be bothered to bring it up. especially not when they saw how much they both cared about the friendship and would do nothing to jeopardize it.

jack's rookie season in the nhl was not as great as he expected it to be. he lost more games than he could count and felt like he wasn't living up to his full potential. but he was reminded every night when he came home that no matter how bad he played, he would always have his favorite girl cheering him on.

and given how close they were, most people had a feeling that something or someone would come along and cause a rift in their friendship. and when jack got his first girlfriend since going pro, they were all proven wrong. turns out that the girlfriend didn't like how close he and y/n had been and she gave him an ultimatum. of course he chose y/n, leading people to believe that there was definitely something going on between the pair.

and no matter how many times people put that idea out there, they always shut the thought down and insisted they were always going to be just friends.

but those closest to them knew that was most certainly not true.

everything they did was something an average couple would do. they could deny it all they wanted but it was clear they were destined to be together.

----------

"hey, y/n. are you coming to the game tonight?"

"do you want me to come?"

"always." jack smiled, but immediately became concerned when she didn't smile back. "of course i want you there. do you think i don't?"

"i was just messing with you, jack. of course i'll be there."

"okay good." he kissed the top of her head and smiled. "you almost gave me a heart attack. i can't play without you there."

"no need to worry, darling. i've never intentionally missed a game since the second half of your rookie season and i'm not going to start now."

"i know. i don't know why i thought you weren't coming tonight though."

"you'd miss me too much if i wasn't there." y/n smirked.

"you know me too well." jack chuckled and grabbed his gear. "i'm late for practice. but i'll for sure see you later tonight, right?"

"absolutely. wouldn't miss it." y/n walked with jack to the door. he looked at her bracelet and smiled.

"you're gonna need a whole new bracelet if we win tonight."

"you mean after you win tonight?" y/n smiled and moved the bracelet around. "who picks out the charm this time?"

"i believe it's jesper's turn again."

"oh, sweet. i love the charms he picks."

"what about mine?"

"i love them even more than jesper's. you know that."

"yeah, i know." jack smiled again and grabbed his keys. "alright. see you in a few hours."

"bye." y/n shut the door and examined her bracelet again. jack had bought it for her after he scored his first career goal and told her that every time his team won, he would buy her another charm because he considered her to be his personal good luck charm. after the 10th win, his teammates started taking turns picking out the charms, as they not only believed that y/n was jack's good luck charm, but theirs as well. they never lost when she attended a game so the belief stuck.

a few hours later, y/n grabbed her jack hughes jersey, put on her black jeans and slipped on her red converse. she threw her hair up in a messy bun and didn't bother with any makeup since she never really wore it much anyway.

before she got in the car, she sent a text to both jack and luke, wishing them good luck on the game. luke's reply was just a thumbs up while jack's reply was an entire paragraph. y/n left it open and drove to the arena. when she arrived, she put her phone in her purse, completely forgetting to respond to jack's text.

in the locker room, luke was finishing adjusting his skates when jack sat next to him.

"y/n left me on read, luke. do you think she's okay? what if something happened to her on the way here?"

"i'm sure she's fine. she's the most careful driver i know." he finished lacing the right skate and pulled the left one tighter. "have you tried calling?"

"no. we never call before games. it's a rule."

"you might have to break a rule every now and then."

"okay, fine." jack pulled his phone out and quickly dialed y/n's number. it went to voicemail and jack sighed. "right to voicemail, luke. this is not good."

"relax, jack. she probably just turned her phone to do not disturb so she could focus entirely on the game tonight."

"okay. maybe you're right." jack stood up. "thanks, bro."

"no problem." luke chuckled. "you gotta learn to never doubt me."

"yeah, yeah. whatever." jack rolled his eyes and grabbed his stick. "we got a game to win."

as the boys came out onto the ice, y/n's gaze immediately landed on jack. he looked at her and smiled, thankful that nothing happened to her on the way to the game. he skated around and that's when the thought hit him.

she didn't respond to his pre-game text like she normally did.

the game went on like it normally would, but with jack distracted, he wasn't playing his best. y/n watched as jack took a hit at the end of 1st period. it never should've happened and she was beginning to worry.

she pulled out her phone and went to send him a text, knowing he was gonna check his phone during the break. and that's when she realized she never replied to the paragraph he sent before the game. she felt guilty, as if she was the reason jack was having a bad game.

she typed as fast as her fingers could go, rattling off an extra long apology text, hoping it would make up for earlier.

and when jack was back out on the ice for the second period, he seemed to be playing a lot better than before. the text seemed to have worked.

halfway through the last period, the devils were up by 2. as jack scored, he turned to look at y/n. when he saw her, he smiled.

he was distracted and the other team knew it. so they took this opportunity to slam him in the boards as hard as possible, taking jack out for the last 10 minutes of the game.

as the ref escorted jack off the ice, y/n hurried out of her seat and down to the tunnel. she rushed to the medic's office and watched as he did his routine checkup on jack. when he was finished, he turned to y/n.

"take good care of this one. he's showing signs of a possible concussion and he may be out for a game or two. we have to make sure he'll be okay."

"don't worry. i'll make sure he's fine." y/n smiled as the medic walked out of the room.

"that was a terrible game." jack shook his head slowly. "i screwed up."

"no you didn't, jack. you played great." y/n squeezed his shoulder softly and smiled.

"you and i both know i didn't. i was a mess in the first half of the game and-"

"i know. it was my fault. i should've answered your text."

"what? no. that's not why i wasn't focused. okay well maybe a bit. but i wasn't mad. i was scared. the last text i got from you before the game was that you were on your way here. and when you didn't reply to my text, i thought something bad happened to you. i wouldn't know what to do without you."

"don't worry. i'm right here."

"good." jack looked up at her and smiled. neither of them knew why they began to lean in but when their lips were about to touch, luke walked into the room, causing them both to jump apart. luckily luke didn't see anything.

"hey. we won the game but i wanted to come see you. how are you doing?"

"i'm alright. might have a concussion and may have to sit out for a game or two. but i'm fine."

"do you need me to stay tonight and keep an eye on you?"

"no thanks, luke. i appreciate the offer but y/n is gonna be there. she lives with me, remember?"

"right. are you sure there's not another reason she's living with you? like, say, maybe you guys are more than friends?" luke raised his eyebrow.

"oh yeah. i sleep with jack every night and he's sooo good. and oh my god. the size is just-" y/n smirked when luke interrupted her.

"i was kidding. i really didn't need to know any details. gross." he shook his head and left the room. jack couldn't help ut laugh at his brothers reaction.

"you know he's gonna tell the rest of the team, right?"

"let them believe what they want. only we know the truth." she winked at him and grabbed his stuff. "now let's get going. i hear my bed calling me."

"you're so dramatic." he chuckled and followed his best friend out to her car. "it's a good thing i got a ride here with luke this morning."

"yes it is. now you can be my little passenger princess this time, instead of the other way around."

"ha. ha. very funny."

"i know i am." y/n smiled and started driving back to their apartment. "how's the head feeling?"

"little rough. but i'll be fine, i promise. you don't need to worry." jack reached over the center console and squeezed her leg gently.

"i always worry about you." y/n kept her eyes on the road but when jack moved his hand, she felt like her leg was on fire.

"i know. and i appreciate it. a lot." jack smiled and got out of the car when she parked. he hurried over to her door and opened it for her.

"thanks, jack. but i could've done that on my own."

"i'm showing my appreciation."

"jack, there are other ways to show your appreciation." y/n smiled and walked to their door. jack was frozen in his spot as he watched her walk inside. before the door shut, he rushed in behind her.

"hold up. just wait a second." he sat down on the couch and looked at y/n. "what other ways can i show my appreciation?"

"by getting me a new charm for my bracelet since your team won." y/n smirked. "did you think i meant something else?"

"what? no. of course not." jack shook his head rapidly, causing y/n to continue smirking.

"oh my gosh. you totally did!"

"well, i kinda thought that we could talk about what almost happened back in the medic's office before luke walked in."

"jack, it was a slip up. heat of the moment situation. it never should've happened."

"it didn't happen. but i agree. heat of the moment." jack sighed and looked at her. "you're my best friend and i love you. but what didn't happen is not going to change us, right?"

"of course not." y/n smiled and headed to her room. jack watched her close the door and let out a breath he didn't know he had been holding.

it was going to change everything.

❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

over the course of the next few weeks, the dynamic between y/n and jack had shifted. everyone noticed immediately but it took jack and y/n a little longer to catch on.

it wasn't drastic enough where y/n felt like she had to move out. but she no longer felt like jack wanted to spend every minute with her like he normally had in the past.

his attitude changed and he slowly became less of the happy guy he always was, and more of a moody one instead. he was getting into fights more often than not & he was bringing girls home with him almost every night.

he would ignore y/n when she would greet him and each time he did, y/n felt like he was chipping away a piece of her heart. it was starting to become an issue for her and she didn't know what to do.

until an 'angel' knocked on the apartment door one afternoon.

y/n was home alone, getting ready for the last regular season game, when she heard the knock. she got up and looked through the peephole.

"nico? what are you doing here? shouldn't you be at the arena practicing for the big game?"

"i should be. but i think we need to talk."

"what about?" she held the door and looked at her friend. "what's going on? is everything okay?"

"with me? yeah. with jack? no."

"what do you mean?"

"you've noticed the changes recently, yes?"

"of course. i notice a lot." she shook her head. "what about his changes?"

"it's messing with his playing."

"meaning?"

"he used to be the best player on the team but for the last 4 weeks, he's been different. his points haven't gone up and his skill level has declined. he still ranks fairly high in the league but it's nowhere near where he deserves to be." he sighed. "i need to know what happened between you guys."

"why do you assume something happened?"

"because i know you guys better than you think i do. and the dynamic between you has shifted since he got the concussion a month ago. so what happened? did jack say something to upset you, or vice versa?"

"no. at least, i don't think so. and to be honest, i have no idea what really happened. the night he got the concussion, we came home and things were fine. but when i woke up the next morning, it was like the jack hughes i know and love was replaced by someone else."

"so jack is the only one to know why he's been acting so weird?"

"i guess so." y/n looked at her phone. "you should get going. the team's gonna need their captain before the game."

"yeah, you're right." he went to walk away but stopped. "are you coming to the game?"

"yeah. i'll be there. there's just something i need to do first. see you later." she shut the door slowly and walked into jack's room. it looked pretty much like it always did. it was a little bit messier than normal but that's how jack tended to keep it.

as she was about to walk out, she saw a gift on the floor by his bed. there was a tag attached to it that had her name printed neatly on it in jack's handwriting. she picked it up and took it with her to the car. she needed an explanation and was determined to get one, even if jack didn't want to give it to her.

when she parked at the arena, she climbed out of her car and ran inside quickly. there was still a little while before the game started but the fans were already filing into their seats. the team was skating around the ice doing their warm ups but jack was nowhere to be found. and neither was nico.

y/n was about to send nico a text, telling him she had arrived, but when she looked up, jack and nico were skating onto the ice. nico waved when he noticed her but jack hadn't seen her yet so she would have to wait to talk to him.

the first half of the game was brutal for the devils. they were down by 3 at the end of the second period, not having scored a single goal yet, and they were looking at a complete shutout,

y/n watched the team skate off the ice and sent a text to nico, letting him know she was on her way down to the locker rom to talk to jack. she couldn't wait another second.

as she got to the room, the rest of the team was walking out slowly. nico was last and he stopped her.

"um, just a heads up but he's not in a great mood and he's blaming himself for what's happened so far in the game. hopefully you can work your magic on him like you always do."

"yeah, hopefully. good luck out there." she smiled and stood in the doorway to the locker room. jack was pacing back and forth with his head down so he didn't notice her and he was mumbling to himself. she knocked lightly on the door to get his attention. "jack?"

"huh?" his head shot up and they made eye contact. "w-what are you doing here?"

"i came to see my best friend play kick some ass and make it to the playoffs tonight."

"that's not gonna happen so you can go home if you want. i don't want to disappoint you when we lose."

"you're not going to lose, jack." she took a step into the room and the air felt thick.

"we haven't scored once this game and there's 20 minutes left. i highly doubt we're coming back from this." he shook his head. "and it's all my fault."

"no it's not. it's a team game, jack. it doesn't depend on just one person. you know that."

"if i hadn't played so badly this last month, we'd already be guaranteed a playoff spot. but this game is the make or break one."

"what's gotten into you? where's the best friend who is always full of spirit and determination? the one who never wants to give up, no matter how hard a task may be?"

"he's a total mess who can't get his shit together. he's lost hope for a lot of things in his life and he doesn't know how to get back to his normal self again."

"when did things change?" y/n took a seat beside him on the bench. "was it before or after the concussion?"

"the same night." he sighed. "i felt the change after we got home."

"was it something i did that maybe upset you?" y/n looked at him but he didn't answer. "jack, please talk to me. i want to help you in anyway that i can."

"do you really think that our almost kiss was just a slip up? a heat of the moment thing?"

"what?"

"just tell me the truth, please?"

"i've known you since the 6th grade and not once did i ever think about kissing you. you've been my best friend since i met you so yeah. it was a heat of the moment thing." y/n looked up to find jack staring at her.

"i feel the same way. or at least i thought i did." he sighed. "i had never thought about kissing you before and have had no romantic feelings towards you since we became friends. but that night, when you didn't answer my pre-game text, i was scared something happened to you. and you already know that. but as i was freaking out, i started thinking about why i was reacting that way. i realized that i never wanted to experience life without you. and then when i saw you and saw that you were alright, my heart nearly exploded with happiness. i thought i lost you but you were there, in front of me, and these brand new feelings became overwhelming for me." jack took another breath. "that night when you told me it was a slip up, it hit me that you didn't feel the same way about me. so i started giving you space because it felt like what was best and i realize now that it was a mistake to do that. because without you by my side, i fell apart real fast. i screwed up by almost kissing you and if it was possible, i would turn back time and stop myself. i never intended for things to end up this way. and i am so sorry i disappointed you."

"you could never disappoint me, jack. you're my favorite person in the entire world. and yes, i thought it was a slip up that night because i had never thought about kissing you before. but when you were giving me that 'space', it gave me time to think about what almost happened and i have come to the realization that it wasn't a heat of the moment situation. i realized that i can't live my life without you. truthfully, i love you jack. i never really thought about it before but now i know."

"so all that space was a dumb idea, huh?"

"of course, dummy. but maybe things can be different now. we can get back to how things were before the concussion." y/n took his hand. "but with an added bonus of love."

"that sounds like a good idea." he went to kiss her but she stopped him.

"wait. i almost forgot the main reason i cam back here."

"what's that?"

"i found this in your room." she pulled the gift out from her purse and handed it to him. he turned it around in his hands and smiled. "what is it?"

"as ridiculous as this might sound, it's a book." he let out a chuckle.

"a book?"

"yeah. but not just any book." he smiled. "this book is special and i was intending to give it to you for your birthday but i didn't know if things would be back to normal or not." he looked up at her. "go ahead. open it."

y/n carefully unwrapped the book and stared at the cover. a little cartoon version of herself with jack stared up at her with the title my best friend written in shiny silver letters. she flipped through the book and smiled with every page she read. it was a story book of her life, before and after she met jack. it was illustrated so perfectly and each hidden detail throughout the book made her eyes water. "jack , i love this so much."

"i figured you would. but i'm glad you do." he looked at her. "did you see what was taped to the back cover?"

"no." she flipped to the back cover and taped to the inside was a little swan charm. y/n carefully pulled it off and smiled. "seriously, jack. you didn't have to do this."

"well i wanted to. i needed to show you how much you mean to me but with everything you've ever done for me, the book and the charm are not going to be enough."

"jack, they're more than enough. they're perfect." she looked at him. "you're perfect."

neither of them hesitated to place their lips together. they fit perfectly together, just like everyone knew they would. jack held y/n's face as he deepened the kiss. her hands held his wrists as they slowly pulled apart.

"okay, my team is waiting for me. i've got a game to win." he stood up quickly. "i love you."

"i love you too. now go out there before they start to worry." y/n laughed as jack rushed out to the ice. she slid the book back in her purse and made her way back to her seat just in time for the final period to start.

30 seconds in, jack scored a goal and the fans went nuts. his teammates all hugged him and nico looked up to where y/n was sitting, knowing she really did work her magic on him.

there was 5 minutes left in the game when nico passed the puck to jack, who scored another goal, putting the game at 3-2 for nashville.

with 2 minutes left, it was looking like they were going to lose. but luck must've been on their side because curtis somehow got the puck to jack. he took it and sped down to the other end of the rink, shooting it right into the net to tie the game.

and when the buzzer went off to signal the end of the game, everyone on the team was excited. they were congratulating jack as they made their way to the bench.

"whatever you're doing, keep it up. that was an excellent third period." curtis high-fived him and walked down the tunnel. both jack and nico shared a look and their eyes went to y/n in the stands. she waved to them and they smiled.

"she must've worked her magic real hard on you to get such a turn around like that."

"yeah. something like that." jack smirked and took a drink from his water bottle before spraying some down the back and front of his jersey. he knew he was a great player but even he was impressed with how fast he shifted the game.

overtime started not long after their conversation and even though nashville was playing hard, new jersey was playing harder. their team dynamic was so much stronger than it was before.

with the clock ticking down and jack with the puck, the win was in sight. but the nashville players were not letting it go that easily. all the players on the ice chased jack and nearly cornered him. one slammed him into the side, causing him to lose his balance and fall. they all looked for the puck, believing that he would've given up the possession when he hit the ice.

but he did that before he went down. he passed the puck to jesper, who was not being defended. luckily nobody saw that pass. jesper took off back towards the nashville net and hit the puck as hard as he could, sending it flying towards the goal.

everyone watched with baited breath as the puck moved faster and faster towards the net. when it hit the back and the buzzer went off, everyone cheered. the devils were going to the playoffs.

y/n made her way down to the tunnel to wait for the team. nico had a feeling that's what she would be doing so he made sure jack was at the end of the line.

as they passed by, y/n congratulated the guys on the big win and continued to wait for jack. when she saw him, she couldn't help but throw herself into his arms. he was shocked but he held her tightly.

"that was incredible, jack. i told you you were going to win."

"i couldn't have done it without you and our talk."

"well, you could've. but i'm gonna take the credit where i can get it." she smiled. "go get changed so we can go home and celebrate."

"yes ma'am."

things were going to be okay. they were gonna make sure of it.

[wastedr00k]

ditto ; simon 'ghost' riley

in which Ghost can't get over his past lover

inspired by new jeans's 'ditto'

.

stay in the middle like you a little, don't want no riddle

your attraction to Ghost himself started the moment he carried you out of the room during your training session, the way his arms were tight around your shoulder and underside of your knee, his eyes locked in front of him and his own mission was to get you out.

not to say that you only fell for him because of his physique, his hard heart was constantly calling out for you to undo the walls he build up. whether or not it was his doing, you couldn't look away from him.

so it started out with small gestures, buying his coffee, small talks with him, hanging out with him after mission, fixing his gear for him. eventually it moved on to fixing his mask, to your own disbelief.

"i told you your mask is crooked, looks like your teeth are all slanted." you muttered to Simon, fingers hesitating whether or not to fix it for him.

he signed and turned to you and bend down to your height, "if it bothers you so much, fix it then."

you felt your face heat up from the close proximity of the two of you, his eye bored into yours as he silently waited for your next move.

you remind him so much of her.

with shaky hands, you reached out to fix his hands, your fingers gently pulling down the fabric, then fixing the shell which never seems to face you right. as you stayed close to him, you noticed the dog tag which says.

"ditto"

you've seen him wear this dog tag before, you just never knew what it said.

"there, fixed it." you pulled back and managed to breath out before turning away.

his callused hands ruffled your hair as he let out a gruff, ''thanks, kid." and he was off to his mission, wherever he needed to be, without ever waiting for your response.

you huffed out air and went back to your task of tinkering with your electronics,

'who's "ditto" anyway?'

.

do you want somebody? like I want somebody?

so it goes, the both of your did get closer, he even let you lean on his shoulder after mission, something that event the 141 was shocked about, everyone's face was literal gold when it happened.

"i'm so tired! i didn't expect them to be that good!" you whined as you slumped back onto the car seat, "i could really use a good nap."

"then nap if you feel so inclined to do so."

"this cars too bumpy!"

without a second delay, a rough hand guided your head onto a shoulder, of none other than Simon, "quiet, you're making too much noise.".

the whole of the 141 stayed as silent as you, till soap spoke up,

"damn LT, the only person you let do this was -"

"enough, she needs to rest." Ghost cut him off, "get comfy little parrot, it's a long ride.".

you kept your eyes shut the whole ride, his shoulder was surprisingly comfy, you even mustered the courage to wrap your hands around his biceps half way though the ride. he didn't flinch or move your hands away, instead opted to lean his head on yours, closing his eyes.

you felt just like her.

.

oh, say it ditto I want you so, want you, so say it ditto

so when you found out his birthday, you decided to get a cake and celebrate it with him.

as you walked towards his room, hiding the cake behind your back, then finally knocking on his room door,

"Simon! open up!" you yelled, not caring if you woke everyone up, today was Simon's special day.

the lock undid and there he was, in his tank top and shorts, and by the way mask pulled over his face, it seems like he just woke up.

inviting yourself in, because the two of you close like that right? making sure to keep the cake hidden behind you.

"what are you up to this time?" he questioned, hands fumbling with the dog tag around his neck, he has a feeling that he knows what's going to happen.

"well," you started to pull the cake out of he box,

"today is your special day..." placing the candles onto the cake

"i wanted to let you know that you are loved..." lighting the candles up

spinning around with the cake in front of you, "happy birthday Simon Riley!"

he stood there, speechless.

and for a moment he is brought back in time where she celebrated his birthday with him, just the two of them. the same setting and positions, you really look like her.

all the times you bought coffee for him didn't go unnoticed and unappreciated. all the times you kept him company after missions, fixing his gear, all the times your reminded him of her.

he'd be lying if he said you didn't make him as happy as she did.

his bliss was short lived as suddenly, he felt like he betrayed her, all the promises of loving only each other, staying by one's side, being each other's one and only.

"get out."

"huh?" you slowly drew back the cake from him. "what -"

"i said get out, get out of my room." his eyes opened once again and all he could see was her funeral, her dead body laying there along with all their broken promises.

he could hear what you were saying as he slapped the cake out from your hands,

"you'll never be her, you'll never replace her no matter how much you try!"

as he trashed his room, you stood there like the eye of the storm. tears streaming down your face, is that who 'ditto' was?

"you try so hard but you'll never replace her! get the fuck out!" Ghost bellowed, as he destroyed the cake even more by trampling on it, his hands tightly clutching the single dog tag around his neck,

"i'll never betray you!" there he was, screaming at a ghost.

only that the ghost of his past lover was the living being that is you.

soon the yelling calmed down and the dust began to settle, he realized what he'd done, seeing her cry and let out a soft,

"ditto, LT, ditto."

before she ran out of his room, leaving behind yet another mess for Simon to clean and carry.

[stellar-haikyuu]

no regrets ☆ sugawara koushi x reader

synopsis: before their third year starts, an evening walk changes everything between reader and their best friend, koushi. details: fluff, opposites attract, childhood friends to lovers, first kiss, ~1.7k words, gn! reader. requested by @liquidcatt as part of my karasuno writing event (requests open) warnings: none! just repetitive use of the title and idk how to write kissing yet LOL

One week before your third and final year of high school, you realize that you’ll soon be experiencing multiple “lasts” before a new chapter of your life begins.

Now, you don't normally care about these things, but you can’t help it when Koushi calls you that evening.

Apparently, he made an impulsive decision to go on a walk, and he now wants your company.

You groan at him through the phone and he laughs. Of course, he knows there’s no real anger behind it. He’s the only person in the world you would drop everything for without a second thought.

“I’m sor-” he tries, but you hang up on him, cutting off his “apology.” Huffing with amusement, you rummage through your closet for something that would keep you warm.

After pulling on a sweater, you let your parents know you’re heading out. They barely glance up from the television before nodding in acknowledgment. It’s been years since they decided that hangouts with your best friend no longer warrant further questions.

The cold wind greets you as you step outside. You shiver a little, but you slowly adjust to the temperature as you wait for Koushi. 

After a few minutes, you hear the sound of footsteps against the pavement. They stop right outside your gate, and you can see the telltale tuft of gray hair peeking out from behind.

��Koushi.” You greet him with an air of nonchalance as you open the gate. 

Your tone has always been a little flat—an unintentional habit of yours. You don’t have it in you to amp up the energy like everyone else does, but your friend has never minded it, even when he is the very definition of sunshine and chaos.

“Heh,” he chuckles sheepishly. “Hope you weren’t too busy.”

You half-heartedly glare at him, which makes him ruffle your hair. In response, you swat his hand away and try to smooth down the mess he’s made.

“You’re just lucky I was bored out of my mind,” you mutter, stepping out onto the sidewalk, and letting the gate shut behind you.

“This is the hundredth time I’ve been lucky.” He raises an eyebrow. “Maybe you do like me after all,” he teases.

Your stomach does a flip. 

Is he onto me?

“Sh-shut up!” You stammer, elbowing him in the side. 

“Ow!” He yelps, clutching at his ribs as if you’ve stabbed him. “Hey, I’ve got volleyball practice soon, don’t give me an injury.”

“You’ll be fine.” You roll your eyes at his theatrics, watching as he rubs his side in an attempt to soothe the pain. As he pouts and mumbles something under his breath, you brave a quick look at him.

He’s wearing that adorable blue scarf again—well, it’s yours, actually. You lent it to him in first year when he forgot his scarf on a chilly evening. For some reason, you insisted that he keep it, and now he wears it all the time with no fail. 

(His reasoning? “Maybe you’ll miss your blue scarf, so I’m just going to wear it every time we walk together.”

You remember staring at him in disbelief, but internally, you were maybe five seconds away from passing out.)

“Agh. Gosh, why didn’t you go for martial arts or something,” Koushi’s voice snaps you out of your reverie.

“I don’t have that kind of energy.” You raise an eyebrow at him. “Besides, I’m sure you wouldn’t want my punches to hurt even more.”

“Fair point,” he concedes with a laugh.

The two of you lapse into a comfortable silence, making the sound of leaves rustling much louder. When you glance at Koushi, his expression has shifted. He looks thoughtful, his gaze fixed ahead but distant, as though he’s turning something over in his mind.

“Why’d you call me out here?” You ask.

“Hm? It’s just…” Koushi hesitates for a moment, his voice softening. “We’re almost done with high school.”

The reality of his words hit you. “We are. But hey, I’m a year closer to my librarian dreams.”

“Ha. You’ve never really changed your mind, huh?”

“Nope.” You shake your head, popping the ‘p’ sound. “How about you, still wanna be a teacher?”

“Yeah.” He nods. “Dead set on it now, actually.”

“Good,” you say firmly. “You better keep your promise to apply to the same school. Don’t leave me to fend for myself in college or at work.”

“You’re not going to die, gosh,” Koushi laughs, shaking his head. “What are you going to do when strangers come up to you in the library to ask about different things?”

“That’s a problem for future me.” You scrunch your nose. Unfortunately, no job is exactly the way you want it to be.

“We’ll cross the bridge when we get there. But now, there’s one more year ahead of us,” he sighs.

“Yeah.” You tilt your head, brows furrowing slightly. “Is there something wrong?”

“Not really…” He trails off. “I just…I’ve been thinking a lot about how these months will be full of last chances.”

Last chances?

“I guess I couldn’t help but worry about how I need to make every moment count. I don’t want to waste opportunities.”

Oh.

Koushi stops walking for a moment and turns to you. “Am I making any sense?”

You study his expression. The faint lines of uncertainty on his face say enough. “You are. What brought this on?”

“It’s the volleyball team.” He confesses, his gaze flickering downward as he stuffs his hands in his pockets. “I still want to stay. I still want to go to Nationals. I know that we may not be the best in the prefecture, but…it’s not stupid to hope, right?”

For a few seconds, you think about it. You’re no stranger to hoping for good things, even when it seems impossible. 

You spent your childhood hoping for a best friend, even though most kids never wanted to approach you. Yet, here you are, years later. 

(Now, you’re just holding onto the hope that your feelings for him will be returned.)

“No, Koushi. It’s not stupid,” you reply, despite the subtle ache in your chest.

“Thanks.” His eyes brighten at your response, and you can’t help but let a small grin form on your face.

That’s my dreamer.

You recall how painful it was to see him realize that Karasuno was no longer the powerhouse he imagined. But, the fact that he hasn’t thought of giving up once is a testament to his true strength.

“Well, I just hope we’re lucky enough to get some more first-years.” A puff of steam leaves his mouth. “And I hope Asahi and Nishinoya come back as soon as possible.”

His voice falters slightly at the mention of his teammates. You instinctively reach out to take his hand in quiet support. That incident had upset him more than he let on.

“But no matter what happens, I’ll work hard,” he continues with conviction. “I want to finish this year with no regrets.”

“No regrets,” you echo his words in affirmation. Your heart hammers in your chest.

Should I do it?

“Hey, are you okay?”

What if this is my last chance?

“You’ve been staring for a while.”

What if someone else takes this moment from me?

“Hey.”

Do it. Come on.

“You’re scaring me. What’s going on?”

No regrets.

“Koushi?”

“Oh, there! Thank goodness. What happened?” His voice sharpens in concern.

You close your eyes, willing yourself not to chicken out.

“No regrets,” you murmur to yourself.

He blinks at you, taken aback by your cryptic behavior. “Um, yes, that’s what I said.”

“I wanna do that too,” you admit with a steady tone.

“That’s…good?” he replies, but the confusion turns his statement into a question.

“So, to start the year off strong…” You let go of your grip on his hands and take a step forward, closing the gap between the two of you.

“Koushi.” You look away momentarily, trying to find the words. “I don’t know when I started feeling this way, but…” 

You force yourself to meet his gaze, and you reach a hand out to tug on his scarf, bringing him closer to you.

Your faces are mere inches apart now; you can feel his warm breath on your face. The fact that he doesn’t protest or pull away gives you the confidence to continue.

“I like you,” you whisper. “Can I kiss you?”

As soon as the words leave your mouth, his lips crash into yours. You’re frozen, stunned by the fact that Koushi reciprocated. 

This is actually happening.

He’s kissing me.

One of his hands finds its way to the base of your neck, while the other wraps securely around your waist. His touch is gentle but grounding. It’s almost like he’s afraid to let you go.

You can’t take it anymore. 

The longing you’ve kept bottled inside for years finally explodes.

Releasing your grip on his scarf, you move your hands to the base of his neck instead, pulling him down a bit more. The height difference sends a quiet thrill through your body, leaving you giddy.

You part for a moment to gasp for air, but your lips find each other again. They seem to slot together perfectly, you think, as though you were made for each other.

You sigh at the feeling of shared warmth between your bodies, a stark contrast to the nighttime climate. Carding your fingers through his soft hair, you think about how much you’ve dreamed of spending the rest of your life with him.

No one understands you the way Koushi does. No one gets you like he does. Even when people questioned your friendship dynamics, you both found ways to defy the odds. The realization nearly makes you cry in the middle of this romantic moment, but there’s no way you’re letting Koushi use that against you.

As much as you want this kiss to stretch into eternity, your lungs are starting to burn. Reluctantly, you pull away once more, but this time, your chest is filled with something like peace and contentment.

Koushi rests his forehead against yours as you both catch your breath. He giggles with pure joy. “So, no regrets? I totally don’t have any.”

There may be last chances, but also new beginnings

“Yeah, me too. No regrets.”

masterlist

karasuno fic event: stellar's stationery (ongoing)

[deerainy]

I think that Dean is honestly one of the best eldest siblings ever written. I'm currently on season 9 and I'm still deeply affected by the ending of season 2. As an older sister myself who had to look after my little sister and fix up her wounds when my parents weren't around I know how it feels. It's so rare to see such a well portrayed parentified older sibling and I'm grateful for it. I particularly like how they are written, a lot of people hate Dean for his misogynistic view of women especially in the earlier seasons and honestly at first I was a little disturbed by it and then I realised it was actually so accurate, what I'm trying to say is that Dean never got to be a child, the way he jokes about literally everything and seems to be a 'womaniser' is because he wants to be noticed. I don't want anyone to start saying 'no it's because of his mommy issues' shut up it's not!!! He has to put on an act, a persona and he chose the persona of a womaniser who doesn't give a shit about anyone and doesn't care much about objectifying women in public because he wants to be seen that way. He wanted his little brother to look up to him and see a father figure. I know it doesn't make much sense really but I get it, it's hard because at the same time I'm very aware he's written by men and what I'm analysing is just my view on this but, to write a man who cries so often, who shows so often vulnerability that to men with a fragile masculinity see as 'pathetic' (aka John) seems to be opposing the other side of his character who is a douche bag, it seems to me that it was written purposely. Dean is nothing like his father, he isn't a douche with a fragile masculinity, he is vulnerable and he cares so deeply about everyone. He had to put up this persona in order to survive, because he needed to be seen as the tough guy with strength and who doesn't let women be his equal, he was playing the part of a misogynistic douche to survive. Again that's just how I see it, but his character development to me is honestly the biggest proof of that, he got tired over the years of playing this role and then Castiel arrived and I believe that he showed him that men are really nothing, that the world is much bigger than himself and I think Castiel's arrival gave him faith, it's a faith he had never had before, the proof that God exists no matter if he cares or not, he exists and that I think changed everything, he was saved by this angel who saw in him a great potential. For the first time in his life he was the first choice, he was seen as who he really is so he dropped his act and little by little became the good man he was always.

Again I'm pretty tired I should have been asleep hours ago and I'm just yapping but yeah I miss my sister and god he's so relatable, I wish an angel could save me like me when I'm tired

feel free to debate with me thehehe

i love to read too much into things like ik it's not that deep but leave me alone I like making things deep

[shadowsingercassia]

The Day Hope Died

Rhysandxreader (on the second part)

Warnings: torture, mentions of torture, wing damage (very innacurate from the actual books but anyways), Amarantha (she's a TW herself fr), angst (tell me if i missed anything!!)

Words: 1.2k

a/n: even if people don't enjoy this, I'm proud of it

-------------------------☆-------------------------

Being under the mountain was like living in hell. Rhysand had been forced to do all sorts of atrocities. Invade people's minds and collect information from their memories, torturing them, and killing them with his daemati abilities.

As he sat on the mattress on the bed he was unavoidably sharing with Amarantha, he finally let the tears fall, flowing down his face in thick rivulets. His wings dangled behind him, the talons at the ends scraping against the sheets.

Quiet sobs left his lips, sounding so broken, filled with years of held-back emotions and suppressed feelings. The taste of his salty tears reached his mouth and his hand went to brush them away.

But the tears only fell, uncontrolled. All he had kept shunned down to the depths of his heart escaped, pouring into those tears. His chest ached, his body ached, his soul ached, and the ache wouldn’t go away, sitting heavily on top of his heart.

Rhysand sat there for Mother knows how long, crying, letting it all out. He sat there until the tears dried and the redness in his eyes faded. Yet still, the corners of his eyes prick with tears now and then.

Deep down, there was a sorrow he couldn't calm. A sorrow that would never leave him, no matter how much he wept.

He knew Amarantha would return before he knew it, and then compel him to do unspeakable things anew. Or perhaps she was already there, observing him as he broke while she laughed silently and mocked him.

He hadn’t felt her presence though, and it filled him with a spark of hope. It was always there, prepared to flare up with the smallest chance - yet each time she returned, it was lit out. And every time the hope was dimming. Perhaps it soon would be the time that the spark was finally shut down. Forever. For eternity.

Hope was useless anyway; there was no hope for anyone trapped here. It was pointless, dreaming. Rhysand couldn’t even dream of anything besides the nightmares Amarantha shoves into his mind. He can’t dream of anything other than the faces he has been forced to torture.

And Cauldron, he was a dreamer, a hopeful person. Where was that hopefulness now? Where were the dreams?

At least he knew his family was guarded and out of harm's way. Truly, that was all that mattered to him. Rhysand didn’t care about what happened to him, not at all, so long as his family was secure, he didn’t care if he lived or died under the mountain.

Wiping away the last remnants of his tears, he heard the door unlock, as Amarantha entered the room. “Rhysie, Rhysie… oh, how pathetic you are, look at you, crying,” her voice was full of mockery, yet Rhysand wasn’t infuriated. Instead, he faced her words and accepted them. He knew that in some sense, he was pathetic. In some sense, everything she said is true.

Hence, he believed her, and he forced himself to believe everything she told him. Perhaps the nightmare would end that way. When he finally shows his full acceptance and submission, maybe it will end.

Maybe, maybe, maybe.

But it all was just a big what-if, and there was no sign of anything changing. It was the same routine, the same days over and over. Wake, please Amarantha. Torment people and then go back to rest, if he could only get a few hours of it.

Rhysand lowered his gaze to the floor, tears blurring his vision again. He used to think that rebelling against Amarantha would make her stop everything. But soon, his naïve mind was proven wrong. So he tried to submit to her desires, no matter how physically sick it made him. At least she wouldn’t torture him, wouldn’t hurt him.

In truth, he was scared of the suffering, scared of her. Everyone was, and everyone is. Because torture is agony and there’s nothing he could do about it.

Rhysand hated whenever she tortured him, he hated feeling the sting of the scars after.

No one there could heal him, Amarantha wouldn’t allow it. So whenever she tortured him, the blood would stick to his skin for days, weeks before he was allowed one single bath. Then, he would scrub his skin raw to rid himself of the blood.

“Just stop crying already you’re such a useless toy,” she starts again, "can’t even do your job right and please me. I should just kill you already.” She added. Rhysand’s chest tightened. His lips pressed into a thin line as if that could stop the fresh tears pooling in his eyes.

He felt her long nails on his wings, the pads of her fingers trapping the talon of his wing between them. Then she twisted it.

A scream tore from his throat as he propelled forward to his knees. His head dropped to the ground, his forehead meeting the cold stone as he felt the tears against his cheeks.

Sharp sensations tore through him again as she twisted and twisted, intending to pull the talon right out of its place. The pain grew stronger and stronger, his screams drowned out by the burning in his throat.

Rhysand felt something disconnect before he heard her voice. “Well, wouldn’t this make such a lovely charm for my necklace? I’ll wear it like jewelry, just like I do with Jurian’s eye,” she stated, her tone cold. The feeling of something utterly wrong consumed Rhysand.

Everything was amiss, Amarantha hadn’t simply torn the talon. She took a part of the membrane with it. He heard the sound of it tear and then it was shoved in front of where his forehead was pressed.

It smelled like blood and as he opened his eyes, his gaze fell on the piece of the leather-like skin of his wing in front of his eyes. Bile stung his throat before he threw up. His wings, his Illyrian wings, the one thing that made him feel alive, now one of them torn, scarred for life. And there was no way of fixing it, no way of healing the tissue.

A door slammed shut and Rhysand realized Amarantha left the room. He lifted his face from the ground and looked at his wing, the top bone completely torn off. It hurt, it hurt, it hurt. So much so that he wasn't certain if someone was also tearing his heart from his chest with their hands at the same time.

Once, he had been told to embrace his pain but this was unlike any other. It was a pain that made him feel too empty. He was unable to embrace it because this pain was the kind of pain that came from losing a part of yourself - something he has experienced once too many times.

But his wings were still such an important part of him that he couldn’t bear thinking that now, he wouldn’t be able to fly. Never again, he would ever fly alongside Cassian and Azriel, alongside his brothers. He will never be able to feel the wind as it kisses his face.

He would never feel freedom again.

And maybe that was when all of his hope evaporated. Perhaps, that was the day when this spark died.

Because Rhysand felt utterly helpless, utterly hopeless.

And alone, so alone.

-------------------------☆-------------------------

a/n: part 2 coming soon (with a happy ending)

general taglist: @blessthepizzaman @amara-moonlight @homeslices @flourishandblotts-inc @anarchiii @barb00235

comment '💕' to be added to my general taglist!

Love, Cassia ❤️

[lordelmelloi2]

It's normal for teens to be attracted to other teens, hell it's normal for teens to find adults attractive, but I do think that like. The phenomenon I witnessed in the circles I saw here on tumblr and twitter where we had *Grown Men, Women, And Everyone in-Between Or Neither Or Otherwise*, people who are adults, constantly talking about how bad Castoria needed to get fucked or how much of a sex pervert she was ... I don't know how anyone can witness anyone talking like that about a teenager and not be like, WTF? It was fucked up because so much of LB6 is strictly about Castoria's trauma and neglect, how she only could rely on Ector, and how her supports have been ripped away from her, and how she's expected to do this grand act without a chance to live humanely or experience life or love... and people just wouldn't shut up about sex or petplay or fucking whatever. And she's like just a teenager. She's 16. But people kept acting like she had absolutely insane raging hormones, and projecting their own sexuality onto her, and the shit ppl wrote and drew was like... bro is she not like in dire need of some happiness that doesn't assume sex fixes everything about her? Or rather, do you idiots really think sex just cures you and everything you ever went through? Is sex the end goal of happiness for yall? It just felt demented as fuck. Like, who cares? But also why is it any of their business?

That's what drives me nuts and people talk about it seriously when it's like, American media, like I read conversations discussing how weird it is that tv runners and filmmakers love hyperfocusing in on teenage sexuality & sexualizing teenagers, how burdensome that for teens they can't enjoy media meant for their age group without *somebody* joyfully writing or trying to depict how much Sex they're having or how Sexy they are... I'm not even asexual, I just think this is a patriarchal problem that a ton of people just decided didn't matter anymore. Like it's ok to sexualize teen girls because they're teenagers. And if they're anime it's doubly okay because otaku don't care about that stuff. "Buh its Fikshon. Its make believe its pretend" type excuses made by people who think you don't passively absorb messages about how you should be acting, how you should talk, or look, or behave, depending on the positive connotation and depiction of anything in media. Like we're already aware we are slaves to advertising. Im getting ahead of myself here so let me like recap my thoughts:

- I think a ton of adults have this assumption that fictionality means 1) No teens will see it and internalize Sex = Value, 2) No adults will internalize that it's ok to treat teens like this and start behaving strangely towards teenagers

- "oh well then we should never depict teenage sexuality" How about this: Teenage sexuality has rarely been depicted with the dignity that allows teens to process real emotions about it rather than simply existing as spectacle and entertainment for pedophilic, boundary-lacking, disrespectful adults. And teens know this.

- Castoria is just so blatantly a little girl that needs like guidance and support and real ways of treating her like a person first that when I see people jump to speculating her sex life or talk about fulfilling her through sex I just want to strangle them. It is mostly adults that I have witnessed doing this and very rarely teens.

- I don't trust these adults because I think they have implicit bias directed towards being disrespectful of the boundary between adults and teenagers, they likely don't understand that that boundary is about respect, it's about treating those younger and less experienced than you with dignity and not forcing expectations onto them, they don't understand that negating that boundary is predation. A teenager is not your emotional equal. Or rather, they shouldn't be -- and if they are, and you're an adult, you need to understand your own maturity being on par with a teenager's doesn't mean you have the right to make adult expectations of a teenager. & I think that last bit as a principle applies to Many, Many things, not just sexual abuse dynamics

- I think if people try to strawman and say "well we can never talk about sex ed then" are also stupid because any sex educator will tell you there are clear cut boundary respectful ways that you can advise minors on sex ed and health that are able to answer their questions Without being disrespectful towards the minors involved or prying or treating them as equals to you.

- The older I get the more I realize the sheer and utter gap between a 16-17 yo and Any person above like. TWENTY years old and I start getting angrier and angrier the more instances I see of people talking about teens, fictional teens, teenagers in media, ETC. like they're sex symbols instead of like. Just. Kids. They're kids. They are literally kids that are growing up. My god. You do not really start to understand until you hit like 25 on average, I think, how absolutely batshit insane it is for ppl to be fantasizing about teenagers. & Quite frankly. I find it all starkly antifeminist and properly aligned with fascist ideals to be obsessed with this kind of thing as a virtue of sexual ""liberation"" or whatever people are saying these days. What exactly is liberatory about this and who does it benefit? In what way? What kind of ideas and power does this align with in our current political climate?

Asides from her being 16 years old it does make me insane when people talk about how bad they wanna fuck Castoria or how bad they need her to get fucked or something. I think these people are just straight up deranged. Maybe its bc I have kids but like theres noooo fucking way anyone who looks at Castoria and is fantasizing about anything sexual wrt her isn't a predator in some way bc how the fuck do you look at a sheltered, emotionally neglected 16 yr old like that and start immediately thinking about sex. She should be doing a nature walk field study and like playing basketball with her friends and going to hot topic not doing whatever the hell these weirdos think she should be doing lmfao

[laserlem0n]

Every time birdhouse comes on I have to immediately stop what I'm doing to appreciate it properly

[thesoupisburning]

posting this for posterity bc the stupid tag isnt showing up. uhhh i'll alt text it in the morning when im not dead tired. just wanna go to sleep but this thing is bugging me.

[musical-chick-13]

Me: What a nice day, I'm going to be calm and normal for a few hours.

My brain: hey. :) do you. remember. :) The Ship :) :) :)

[tardis--dreams]

One thing you need to know about me is that I will never reblog anything that has the addition "this should be reblogged by everyone" or anything of the like.

[kitty-deer]

sadness forever when I think about how much my education got fucked over

[ineffable-gallimaufry]

i don't know what to do about the fact that there are a few people that i follow because i like their content who are vehemently against voting. like i know why there's the sentiment but at the same time, as someone who can't vote, it's pretty fucking hard for me to see people who are not only refusing to do so but who are acting as if both candidates are the same caliber of a problem. legitimately i am worried that if trump is reelected, i'm going to have to leave the country and move elsewhere. it has been proven that his rise to power would lead to the rise of fascism across the world because it happened the last time he was elected.

it's hard for me to see this stuff. i can't even vote and yet i see people who are perfectly able, throwing that away because they're treating voting like a personal statement rather than a decision to make for the greater good.

[dragonfyre-creations]

I don't think I've ever poured so many of my physical attributes and so much of my heart and soul into a character design before in such a personal way before so fuck it whenever I finish the final design for Faeng and whatever I come up with I'm making her into my sona (dragonsona? Persona? Idk how this works lmfao)

(long dump in the tags and under the cut)

The last time I was even remotely connected this much to a character was when I designed Jaxsu, but honestly never truly made her my sona/main character, she was just the one I used most often in art pieces. I never really actually liked her lore and backstory enough because she was what I wanted to be instead of what I am/was. Jax isnt perfect either, but her parents love her and otherwise has friends and is loved unconditionally. She has a healthy relationship with everyone and everything. This is where the disconnect happened and where I actually started to dislike her despite her being my otherwise favorite character for awhile. Both Faeng and Jaxsu have ADHD and Autism but Jaxsu was able to put that towards a job and becoming a ship captain and winning a colosseum tournament. She's done all of these great things so even if she didn't have a healthy relationship with her parents they'd still love her because she's done something impressive and useful.

Faeng on the other hand, has to fight for everything. Her parents are important and have important jobs, and place all of these unreachable and unrealistic expectations on her and expect her to reach them with minimal effort and be perfect, but she can't no matter how hard she tries. She needs someone to explain it and break it down for her in steps so she understands what do to and how to do it so she doesn't mess it up. She's both strong and smart but it's not in practical "normal" ways or subjects. It's convoluted, It's not in the ways everyone wants her to be, she has no teachers to help her understand how to channel that strength and intelligence into something "useful" so she puts it towards the things she likes and wants to do, and thus struggles in a world that would otherwise be easy to navigate and conquer if she were "normal". Those that do understand her and try to help her are alienated by other people in an attempt to either punish both of them or force her to adapt to be somewhat passing as normal, if not then at least listen to what she's told to do. She does eventually make acquaintances but find that her twisted speech and weird explanations aren't worth trying to decipher and understand so they leave, they don't put in the effort to meet her halfway even though she's struggling and doing her best to speak in a way they'll understand.

Her parents acknowledge her differences but in a way that frames it as flawed and wrong, something that needs to be corrected, and push her to figure out her problems by herself, tearing down any support network she tries to build. She tries her damned hardest but it's not enough, it never is and never will be for them because she's not the perfect child they wanted. She showed promise in her younger years being a "gifted child" so she knows what love and acceptance lies in wait and what could be if she could just be normal and perfect. Her achievements and promise come and show in waves. She burns and fizzles out in one of the most virulent, painful ways possible after getting hurt trying to prove her worth yet again. She holds nothing but criticism, vitriol and contempt for herself because she can't claw her way back to where she was before, this time something happened and something is terribly, horribly wrong this time but she doesn't know that it is and can't figure it out, nor will anyone tell her. Whatever it is, left a mental and several physical injuries and it does nothing but deepen her self hatred and her parent's waning belief in her. She listens to false promises and praise of other people who do nothing but wish to manipulate and harm her but she stays because any form of praise is deemed good, she hungers for more and does worsening things.

She ignores the people who tell her that what she's doing is dangerous and will only end in disaster, because she doesn't believe them. If the people who are saying they're her friends are telling her that the people she hurts deserve it and that what she's doing is good, then surely she needs to believe them over strangers, right? Everything comes to a breaking point and shatters around her leaving her with quite literally nothing but her own self hatred, newfound rage and overbearing mental issues she needs to navigate once again to find out what hell it is and what's wrong with her now. She's scared of everyone and everything with the added bonus of now being hyper-aware and perceptive of people's mannerisms and behaviors, especially those who want to manipulate or harm her again. She wraps every vulnerable part of herself in metaphorical thorns and teeth to bite and maim whoever pries and digs into what she truly is, even people who want to understand her. She suffers at more than her own hand, forcing herself to deal with everything alone, until she finally meets someone that could be considered a true friend. She slowly opens up and helps them as much as they help her before everything comes crashing back down once again upon the reveal that they've been lying to her the entire time about very serious issues, and she's been used as nothing more than an attack dog once again. She burns every bridge and everyone around her in one final breakdown of rage before shutting down completely. One of the groups of friends she's shoved stay comes back and asks if she's ok. She doesn't understand why they're being kind, why they're concerned it why they care and tries to shove them away again. Every single day they still ask, talking even if there's no response from her, until she finally relents and breaks.

She's finally loved and accepted despite every fault and every flaw she has, and every time she tries to pull away out of fear of being an inconvenience they pull back twice as hard and remind her that she's able to just exist, she doesn't need to constantly be useful and that they care. She finally, finally is comfortable enough to let herself be accepted and then becomes the most clingy little shit, just as they do with her. But yeah, my own life has been very much of the same, especially the last part. Every time I go on another self-hatred spiral and drop off the face of the earth my MonHun bros give me a metaphorical slap to the face and remind me that I don't need to constantly prove my worth to everyone and prove that I'm useful, and that existing every once in awhile is more than enough. If that doesn't work then it's "you need to get your ass back over here because we're failing the Safi siege without the absolutely ridiculous amount of DPS your build Switchaxe does". I was not intending for her to be so much like me but goddamnit she's wormed her way into being my favorite now and I guess Mirage is no longer my impromptu sona

[spacedinosauruses]

i hate film class sometimes