#(every time izzy walks up to him he is reminded of what he did; of how he CHANGED izzy; he did that; why did he do that????)

[arsenicflame]

do you guys ever think about how ed wouldn't intuitively recognise izzys steps anymore because ive been thinking about that a lot this week

[biteyoubiteme]

calendar

seungmin x fem!reader

synopsis: you walk in on your best friend getting off with your name on his lips.

warnings: 🔞!!! slight nipple play, no protection, mentions of masturbation (m!) prob forgot some sorry

wc: 2.2k

an: thank you so much for requesting izzy! ilysm for this one I hope I did it justice :))))) also this is not proofread will you bestow mercy on a poor soul like me? please?

[m.list] [1kevent m.list]

The two of you keep a huge whiteboard calendar on the fridge. A discarded pack of colorful markers was kept in the magnetic cup next to the handle, the sounding rattle synonymous with the closing of the door. Every month the two of you got together to fill out your class schedules, events, holidays, vacations, or just chores. It made both of your lives easier, the two of you knew exactly when the other was going to be late home, fewer arguments over who does what to keep the place clean, and when it was best to just fit in a full series binge on the couch together. 

Or it was supposed to work that way and for the most part, it did. But last week when the two of you hosted a study night with all your friends that devolved into just casual drinks and video games, half the board was erased when someone bumped into the fridge. Neither of you minded, trying the best you could to write in the parts that had been messed up, not giving it much thought at all until you finally hit the week that had been completely erased and rewritten. 

Seungmin missed a paper that was due, both of your laundry days ended up written for the same day, and you were now rushing out the door to make it to your presentation. You hadn't started the day so stressed, not until you rolled out of bed and opened the fridge to pull out something to eat for breakfast. As soon as you closed the door, markers shaking around reminding you to check the calendar, you noticed the messy star you had drawn on the date, and under it project due! Presentation @ 9:30.

It was like a bucket of ice water was thrown over you, no caffeine needed for how away you suddenly felt looking at the clock on the microwave, blinking back that it was already half past eight and it took you 30 minutes to make it to campus. 

Your string of curse words was what woke Seungmin. The rushed sound of the bathroom faucet turning on while you brushed your teeth was the soundtrack to his morning. He was still rubbing at his eyes, hair a sleep-turned mess on top of his head, when he watched you from the doorway. You were frantically rummaging through the dryer for a pair of jeans, only coming away with articles of Seungmin’s clothing. “What is this? Why is all my laundry also your laundry?” 

“I don't know,” he yawns, face scrunching up right along the bridge of his nose, “I think it all got tossed into the dryer together because mine didn't dry right,” 

You huffed, finally tugging out something that was yours to wear, “I'm going to be late,” it was said right on the edge of a whine, “stupid calendar, stupid early class, I'm never taking a course against that starts before I can think properly about school,” you didn't even care that he was right there as you pushed down your sweatpants. Working on putting one leg into your jeans as you kept complaining. 

The two of you had been living together for most of your time at school, the two of you close enough now that nothing phased the other. It wasn't like changing in front of your best friend was uncommon but it still caught Seungmin off guard every time. He turned to give you some sort of privacy but the way the bathroom/laundry was set up only made it so that he turned to look directly into the mirror. And there you were with your jeans getting caught right under your ass, pushing up and only highlighting the way your panties clung to your skin. 

It was momentary, so fast that you were already zipping your zipper and rushing past him to grab your bag. “I won't be back till one!” you call over your shoulder, not trusting the calendar to update him anymore. 

You didn't even realize until halfway to campus when calling your partner to apologize for the delay that your calendar wasn't just messed up with the day's events but the day itself. It wouldn't be until you got home that you saw that the whole week was one day off, so when you turned around feeling slightly better after your little shock, it felt like you had a whole free day. Not even texting Seungmin about the mistake you drove to pick up coffees for the both of you, knowing he would enjoy the pick me up without question. Then you could spend the rest of the day separating your laundry so tomorrow you could wear something less rushed. 

But Seungmin had the same idea, picking through the dryer trying to find anything that was his so that he could get it out of your way. That's when he finds the twin pair of panties to the ones you had on right now. He could see it play out again in his head, the way they hugged your hips, and outlined the shape of you. 

He told himself his crush on you wouldn't become a big deal after you two moved in with each other. He assumed that just having you so close so often would be enough for him to grow out of it faster. He believed it because he would have had less time to daydream about how you would react to him and more time in reality where you would surely put him into his palace without question. Only it didn't seem to work out that well. 

The two of you were constantly on the edge of flirting, sitting so close on the couch you were basically on top of one another, every little brush past each other like a confession. Or it was for him because his crush only got worse with the move; solidifying into something that he knew would never easily dissipate without the hottest of burns. 

It wasn't rare that he let himself get this wrapped up in the idea of being with you, less so the idea of being with you physically. And now you're gone for the next few hours and he has the perfect image of you in his head. 

He doesn't even hear when you get home, didn't even think to close his bedroom door before his hand was down his pants. He could picture you calling out his name, his eyes closed, head leaning back on his pillows, your name on the tip of his tongue as he moaned. 

When you come in and place the coffees down you hear him call you. Your first instinct is to change the calendar until you hear him call you again. He sounds almost in pain, the desperation drawing you down the hall. “Seungmin?” 

When you get to the doorway you're stopped dead in your tracks. His needy little whines echo in his room, adam's apple bobbing, every stroke of his hand on his cock pulling your eyes in. You should be ashamed for enjoying the view, should have backed away, and pretended you never came home. But with him right in front of you, naked and calling out your name it's impossible to not feel yourself get wet. It's embarrassing how easily flushed you feel, but when his hips start to move, effectively thrusting into his waiting fist, stomach flexing, you can't help but rub your thighs together. 

It's the creaking of the floorboards that makes him open his eyes. His hand fell away from his straining cock, his uneven breaths trying to catch up to the beating of his heart. You're not even looking him in the eyes, you're watching the way his cock is twitching, thoroughly edged now that you've walked in, his hips still moving, wishing so badly to be thrusting into you instead. 

“I'm sorry-” the both of you start at the same time, he can't even cover himself knowing a brush of fabric or his hand will make him cum instantly unless he calms down. He can't even think about how ashamed he should be when getting caught, all he can think about is those panties you're wearing under your jeans. 

It's only one second later and you're tugging them down your legs, pants too tight now, the seam pressing right against your clit like it knows you want him whether he touches you or not. He's whimpering at the sight, wet patch visible enough to make his eyes roll back. 

Damn the consequences of your actions you climb into bed with him. 

“What- we shouldn’t- you don’t have to-” he starts but stops when he watches you take off your bra, nipples already pebbled and waiting for his touch. 

“If you don’t want to have sex with me just say so,” even just hearing the words ‘sex’ from your mouth has his dick twitching again. 

“I need to have sex with you,” he reaches out for you, pulling you down to straddle him, your clothed pussy pressed right against his veiny shaft, the both of you moaning out for one another. He sits up, hands sliding up your back as he looks up at you; puppy dog eyes already begging for more. 

You push his hair back from his brow, threading your fingers into the strands, his hazy smile mirroring your own. “Do you usually think about me when you touch yourself or did I just catch you on a good day?” 

“I'm always thinking about you,” he breathes, pulling your lips to his. The kiss turns sloppy almost as soon as it's started, your hips working against him enough to draw every little sound from him. When he starts to kiss down your neck you lift your hips enough to push your panties to the side for him. 

Your hand on his cock guiding his tip to your entrance makes him curse, finally sinking into you, all your wetness making it so easy, the stretch leaving you gasping. Both of you wrapped up in each other's arms as you try to catch your breath from the new sensations. It's intoxicating to feel him this deep, your dragging hips pushing him right against your gummy walls. 

His mouth peppers kisses down your chest, catching one of your nipples into his mouth, swirling his tongue, moaning when you squeeze around him. Your knees are digging into the mattress as you try to bounce on him, thighs burning. His hands slide down to cup your ass, helping you move up and down on him. His lashes flutter with each drag in and out of you, better than he could have ever imagined or replicated with his hand. 

Letting go of your nipple he watches your face now adorned in blissful pleasure. He feels his orgasm building but not as fast as he wants. He falls back against the pillows, pulling you with him, one of your hands catching yourself next to his head, he holds you in place as he digs his feet into the sheets, thrusting up in this new position. 

“Oh my god-” you're finding it hard to even speak, now every thrust is pressed against your g-spot, the tip of his cock knocking over and over until you're almost shaking. With your free hand, you reach down between you two, fingers circling your clit as Seungmin twists your panties into his fist trying to find as much leverage as possible to keep his fast pace. 

“Look at me,” he’s begging, needing to know you're right on the cusp with him, the slapping wet sounds ringing out around you two. “Please I want to see your pretty face when you cum for me,” 

The request alone has you falling over the edge, the silent open-mouthed moan caught on your lips pulling him right along with you. He's a mess of whiny cries, sloppy thrusts slowing down as he tries to push his hips as close as he can get them to yours. Not even caring about having finished inside you when he feels this good.

Your arm gives out as you bury your face into his neck, your hot breath fanning over his sweat-sheened skin. The two of you instantly break out into giggles, the absurdity of the situation only just settling in while he's still twitching inside you. 

“Holy shit,” he chuckles, fingers dragging over your bare back like he can't believe you're really here in his post nut clarity. 

“I know, I can't believe you’ve been just across the hall this whole time and I'm just now finding out the dick was this good,” 

“If I'd known you would have helped out I would have left the door open a long time ago. But what are you even doing at home right now?” 

“The calendar was all messed up, no thanks to you, you said you took care of it!” 

“I did! Or I thought I did,”

you roll your eyes even if he can't see, and you leave another kiss right over his pulse, “well it doesn't matter, what does matter is that we should definitely schedule sex on the the calendar next time,”

taglist 🏷: @kissmekissykissme @seungfl0wer @lunesdesire want to be added to the taglist? check out my rules to see how to join! want to be taken off the taglist? send an ask!

[unknownperson246]

a part two of a monster

ignore the inbox thingie it was just a reminder to myself to make a chapter 2 😭😭

Chapter 1

Chapter 3

A Monster Chapter 2

Words: 1,207

Warnings: *angst* *vampire slash* *pregnancy* *cussing* *wedding day* *public humiliation* *arguing* *grammar*

Don't mind the grammar. Grammarly wanted to be an asshole today.

☆ ★ ✮ ★ ☆☆ ★ ✮ ★ ☆☆ ★ ✮ ★ ☆☆ ★ ✮ ★ ☆

You were sitting in your room that you shared with Slash. You were half asleep and you remembered that It was your wedding day. you grip your bed sheets and cover yourself with your blanket. You and Slash are getting married after 3 months of him turning you into a vampire. You were a groupie for a lot of bands but Slash was selfish and he turned you into a vampire so he could keep you as a pet forever. You hated him for it so much until you decided to move on. He gave you the love you haven't gotten from your mom or your dad or anyone in your life. Everyone used and treated you like you were just a piece of ass but Slash truly did love you so he decided to tie you to him forever. You know it was selfish and you were mad at him but over time you decided that it's not so bad. Slash had invited several people to your guys’s wedding. He invited Axl, Steven, Izzy, and Duff. He also invited Rachel Bolan and Sebastian Bach. You were on edge and very nervous. A few days before your wedding you found out that you were 12 weeks pregnant after you and Slash did it the first time. You wanted to give your child everything you didn't have. You loved it so much already. You did have a lot of questions about if it was going to be half-human or full-vampire because when Slash fucked you you were still human. You didn’t tell Slash because you were nervous about his reaction. You take sips of animal blood that Slash had poured for you in a cup earlier. You had a strong urge to light a joint and smoke it to take the edge off but you didn't want to harm your baby. You continue drinking the blood and Slash walks into the room. You have a weird feeling. You feel sick. You run to the bathroom while gagging. You throw up all the blood you drank into the toilet. Slash follows you. He grimaces at the sight of you puking.

“Hey, what's wrong, are you okay?” He asks you while holding your hair up and rubbing your lower back.

“Yeah I’m fine,” You say in a cold tone. You push Slash away from you and you get up.

“Look I just want some space please just leave right now,” you say to him with watery eyes.

“Is it the wedding jitters?” He asks you.

“Why are you avoiding me?” Slash mutters under his breath. He walks away anxious thinking something is wrong.

You ignore his question and just push him out. You still resent him for turning you into a vampire. You just told yourself it wasn't that bad to get over it but a part of you was angry at Slash. You weren't going to tell Slash until at least after you both got married. You had to get ready. Your wedding was in a couple of hours. You had your white silky dress that was very simply hung in the closet you and Slash shared. You did your makeup and your hair. You put the dress on and walked out of the room. You didn't care about how you looked, you just wanted the day to be over and done with. You looked like you were attending a wedding. You did not look like the bride. You and Slash are supposed to be the center of attention but you don't give one shit.

You sit on your dresser tapping your foot anxiously. You wanted to run away but you knew you couldn't hurt Slash like that. You both know that you couldn't have a day wedding because of the aggressive sunlight that seemed to kill you every time you went outside so you decided to do it at night. The time was finally here and you and Slash held your hands and read his vows to you.

“I will always be here for you whenever you need me. I love you and I love this baby” He says holding your lower belly in front of all the guests. You were shocked and dumbfounded. You were panicking and you wanted to run off. You didn't like being in front of millions of people. You found it nerve-wracking. After a couple of moments you and Slash are officially married and you run inside the mansion that you and Slash owned. Slash follows behind you.

“Hey, what's wrong?” Slash asks you while having a strong grip on your wrist. “How did you know about the baby? I didn't tell you” You say pissed off. “Calm down I just had an idea because you were puking for weeks and you were really moody. Vampires can also sense things like this” Slash tells you holding you by your waist.

“Well, at least that's over now that I don't have to tell you. I’m not going back out there” You say sitting on the couch. “Y/N that's rude,” Slash tells you.

“I don't feel well. I feel like I'm going to die any day now. All I want is my bed and some blood. Also, fuck you for turning me into a monster.” You yell at Slash.

“I can see how this is all affecting you. You are  still pissed off about me turning you into a vampire.” Slash yells back at you.

“Look, I don't want to argue with you on our wedding day. So let's just go back out there and act like we're happy and we can continue yelling at each other later” Slash says calmly while he holds your hands. 

You both get back outside. It was time for slow dancing with your new husband. He held your waist and you put your hands on his shoulders. You both danced slowly to a soft rhythm of music. Everyone's attention was on you after Slash announced that you were pregnant. After a couple of hours, the day you were dreading was finally over. You undid your hair and you removed your makeup. You feel something painful. It was a sharp and uncomfortable pain in your lower abdomen. Your hands clutch your lower belly and scream in pain.

“Slash! It hurts” You cry 2 times. 

He heard your cries from the bathroom and he rushed inside to find you on the ground holding your stomach. “What's wrong?” He asks, concerned.

“I feel a sharp pain. What if the baby is hurt?” You ask Slash while holding on to his shoulder with your other hand while the other one is attached to your belly.

“You sure it's the baby? Shit. I think the baby is draining you of your blood.” Slash suggests an idea.

“Well, we can't go to a human doctor,” Slash says while picking you up from the bathroom floor. “Well, no shit” You utter in pain.

“Here, just lay down on the bed and if the pain gets worse then I know a doctor. He’s human but I trust him.” Slash says while petting your hair.

“Just breathe honey” He whispers in your ear after he lays down next to you.

You take deep breaths in and out.

[dreamyzhou]

Iodine, Livermorium, and Uranium

Pairing: College softie!Hyunjae x Eric's sister!reader

Genre: Contemporary college rom-com

Words: 4,8k

Warnings: Eric is your younger brother and he calls you Noona time to time, swear words, rats, Gen Z jokes, Kendrick and Drake drama, food (ice cream, barbecue, and rice), mentions of alcohol, you and Hyunjae are of same age, a lil suggestive in the end (??!!!), kissing [idek if some of these should be a warning, but i care if you get hurt by a fanfic i write, so imma just put it]

Inspired by: Hasan Minhaj (overall him as a comedian, artist, and a person), because he taught me how to be funnier than I was before all this.

Premise: When your brother, Eric, said he will sit in Chair 16 in Chemistry, he knew you were about to come early to pull it before he gets to sit. And when you did, you realized it was a set up.

Dedicated to Izzy @from-izzy who I kept reminding myself of when I wanted to give up on this fic.

1st fic of 31st Alternate Universe by Ellie unlocked by Hyunjae.

[7:59 A.M]

Three knocks. All it took was three knocks on your wooden bedroom door to be prepared and put up a sleeping act.

"Y/N, first day of college! Wake up!" A kick on your door and a hyperactive male voice with volume boosted with megaphone almost shattered your eardrums.

Tense muscles rose your spine. Then, you looked at the kid in front of you with his "I love LA" shirt. In all honesty, you weren't prepared for that one.

"That was creative, I'll give you that..." You took a portion of your blanket to wrap yourself a fluffy cocoon of cotton.

"Creative? Dude, that was genius. World record on actually making half of your body get up at the least! You know you need a permit to use these?"

You looked at him with the most judgemental eyes you ever gave to anyone.

"You got a permit... just to wake me up?"

"...No, my firefighter friend did. I just borrowed it from him!"

"What if he got into trouble for your misuse?!"

"Relax! The fact that he gave it to me is already a misconduct... Now, it's third week of October..."

"So?" You groaned as you went back to your dream shell. The sight of your laziness rolled Eric's eyes, he turned the megaphone's volume to the maximum.

"So! Get yo ass out of bed, She-Who-My-Grandma-Compares-Me-With! First person to get the bathroom, gets all the hot water!"

All the melatonin in your brain disappeared in a snap of Thanos' finger. Every muscle strand in you responded within 0.01 second as you ran to the bathroom. Eric pulled your elbow to the back, causing you to lose balance for awhile. You took a sandal lying around somewhere, then threw it to his head. Unfortunately for you, as the sandal was in the air, the blond-haired Jerry to your Tom closed the bathroom behind him.

"Ugh!"

"I win!"

"Bleh, bleh, bleh... Whatever!"

You turned around, walking to your bedroom. Trying to construct new activities you should be doing for your first day in third year of university, but... let's just say it takes energy to think. Your usual routine was one hour of waking up, half an hour of breakfast, and breakfast while running. It was a decent routine, but you needed to keep them in order. You recalled yesterday when you brought a hot waffle to the bathroom, you let it cool down as you showered, and by the time you're finished you ate it. It invited a married rat couple who had many babies.

Yesterday? Hold on—

There was a screech coming from the door that got hit by the sandal.

"Uh... Noona? You can have the shower first... I'm in the mood to be nice today!"

"No, a deal's a deal..." Letting out an intentional maniac laugh, you were glad you can just use the guest bathroom (which was never the option because for some peculiar reason, the water was never hot.

"Fuck you!"

[8:43 A.M]

You accompanied your brother to the room they needed him and the rest of the first-year students. There was a third-year student volunteering to help out the first-years with their orientations and such, and you told Eric he could always go to them. The clock indicated it was almost the time you both needed to go your own ways. He looked back at you, as if shy to say something then he entered the room that hadn't close its doors.

You knew this habit of your brother's that somehow helped managing his anxiety a bit. Looking at an older sister figure seemed to ease him as if everything will be alright as long as you were there. You never really got an explicit expression of how good you are of a sister, but it was never about you when it comes to Eric. It was just about the fact that you helped him no matter if it was just by being there for him.

"Hey, Eric?" He already took two steps in the room, but your call turned him around.

"Yeah?"

"You're still ten centimeters shorter in my eyes..." Eric laughed at the insult that he disliked the most, but only if other people said it.

"And you are still screaming Justin Bieber's Baby lyrics with your brush in my eyes."

He approached you and you two did the sibling handshake that you both never made a mistake in for years.

"Don't forget to drive a sister home at 2:30, okay?"

"Won't!"

[3:16 P.M]

Unlocking the flat you shared with your little brother with the cold keys, you sighed as you entered the place. Eric promised to take you home, but you just got off the taxi and paid what could be the price of a fast food meal. You sensed danger when you heard, what you made up as, two males talking... and laughing. You hoped it was Eric, but their voices weren't the high-pitched and hyperactive kind. They were talking about... Drake?

"Oh hi, Noo—" POW!

Whether it was your reflexes that didn't even let him finish the word that could have make you (and his forehead) feel at ease or the fact that Eric was just unwise to be behind you while you were in your flight-or-fight mode... nobody knows.

"What'd you do that for?!" He screeched as he held his forehead.

He went to the mirror near the door, one that he installed for "fashion" purposes.

"Look at this! I got a sole with a Nike logo printed on my head!"

You didn't really care about how much it hurt as he was speaking about it. You went to the living room at started your own lecture on how ditching on one's sister is not nice. You didn't even introduce yourself to the two guys who were looking at you, not knowing what to do.

"Like dude, where were you?! I texted you and called you, but apparently you were inviting two strangers to talk about that Hotline Bling dude! Also who invites a stranger home— did you forget that you were almost kidnapped because you didn't listen to Mom's stranger danger lecture—"

"Y/N, there is a pint of Cookies and Cream ice cream next to the ice cubes in the freeze—" You smiled instantly and ran excitedly to the freezer.

The two 'strangers' were left agape that it took you food to earn your silence.

"Hotline Bling dude is crazy..." One of the two guys with a chiseled face and thin lips, laughed as you approach them.

"Moon Kevin, right? Second-year student? Photography?" He nodded with a chill attitude.

"Yes, ma'am!"

The other boy with a face with racoon features took the remote and continued the fanmade lyric video from Youtube that they left paused as everybody sat with their snacks in hand.

As they exclaimed "Owww!" at the rap punchlines, you noticed how quick the three clicked. How they sounded like longtime best friends reunited. You shook your head at their silliness as you watched the video in silence. At least you were in peace knowing that Eric would be in fate's good hands.

[5:37 P.M. | Week 3]

Okay... maybe you spoke too soon. You were not in peace. Especially, since everyday they would come over to the flat. Something about the way Eric socializes decreased your social battery when you didn't even know who these kids were. Last week, Eric invited three more strangers to crash 'his' place, they were all your juniors! Not to mention, famous juniors! Not only that, they watched NBA games and F1 races at night, occupying your house like a public facility whenever they can.

You were in the couch, invited to watch along, but you kept your lips shut, since these boys were rowdy and you weren't into basketball. Right now, they were challenging themselves to watch the game with water in their mouth and whoever spit it out first had to pay all their part of the dinner your bank account.

Your phone indicated a message coming in with a vibrate.

Biological 'Buy 1 Get 1' : Y/N. Hyunjae said he wanted to come here, is that okay?

You turned your head to Eric, bewildered.

"You invited five people who I still struggle to name without warning and my knowledge, but... sure I guess!"

You went back to your meal and you swore you saw three Singapore fountains living.

"Oww! You see that, Reggie?"

"I see that!"

"You see that—"

"I see—"

"Beast dunk by the man, Lebron James! Y'all, Miami game night is getting really hot tonight! Take a look at that jump in your ESPN replay—"

"HOLY SHIT, I ALMOST DROWNED!"

"YOU SPAT FIRST!

You just knew the next thing they would do is to fight for no reason, and blame it all on Chanhee (He didn't even participate to the challenge, but Sunwoo would gaslight the guy to pay if Chanhee 'really loves' his friends. That kid really had to thank God, Chanhee really loves them and is an aristocrat's son).

As you reach for more popcorn, the electronic doorbell rang. Eric parkoured from where he sat to the door (a habit you learned he had whenever he's excited).

As he came back, he brought two bags with McDonald's logo.

"Delivery man?" Your brother laughed at squirell guy's question (you hoped his name was Changmin).

"Nope. The snack himself." There was another man behind him.

A soft-gazed guy with a tall fitted figure, broad shoulders and carefully-crafted cheekbones. Oh yeah, this snack needs a warning...

"Hyunjae in the house!"

You really tried your best not to stare too much that night.

[8:14 A.M | Week 4]

"I knew it!" You shut your locker door and saw your brother looking at you with excitement.

"What do you want?" He ignored your rolling eyes.

You walked to the end of the hallway, thinking that Eric was following you. Your feet halt as it detected loneliness by the lack of Eric shadowing behind. Turning around, eyebrows united... you dropped your neck a little, expressing the face of a person left hanging by an Eric, who was looking at you with a smirk and a knowing look.

"So?! What do you know?!"

He took a few steps to you, then he said.

"You know I'm good in chemistry, right?"

"You have 23 exes and you cried when each time you broke up. What do you mean?"

"NOT THAT KIND OF CHEMISTRY—"

"Ohhhh... right... Ms. Choi gave you an AP class for Chemistry back in high school when you blew up a project... Wouldn't that make you eligible to skip 2 years in Chemistry for your Bachelor's?" Eric clapped his hand together.

"Ditto! Now... The dean had let me skip two years as long as I've done two weeks of pre-requisites, so here I am, stuck with your second class of the day, I'll be in Chair 16!" He turned around and ran to the indoor field as he saw Younghoon, a fellow third-year who happened to be your math tutoring student.

"You left me hanging, again?!" You knew that pain in the ass could hear you from afar, but he pretended not to hear by closing his ears as he ran and disappeared.

"Fucking dickhead..."

You opened your phone which had your college schedule as its lock screen wallpaper. Second period will be with Professor Do in Chemistry.

[10:41 A.M]

Ever since the first week of the semester, the lab's door had a paper taped onto it, saying "Warning: harmful acid clean-up! No entry!" and a letter from the chancellor that, while the lab needed to go through some clean-up due to a very harsh acid spill accident, all students who wish to seek Chemistry credits need to go to the Classroom XI, a spare room unused, to attend lecture.

You were in the room approaching the front rows. It was a strategy to record professors lectures better and also to keep yourself visible when your professors take attendance. The memory of raising your hand and saying 'here' and still marked as absent when you chose to sat on Chair 52, two rows behind the student cluster, traumatized you as it almost made you fail the whole course. Thank god you could prove that you listened to the lecture, since most of the lecture weren't on your textbooks.

You saw that Chair 18 was occupied. Chair 16 and 17 were empty.

Letting your Converse shoes took pace, you let your blue backpack hug the shoulders of Chair 17. You then sat in the chair, imaginatively creating prank scenarios to perform human-made karmas on Eric for making you wait to long for what he wanted to say at locker hallways.

Oh, this going to be perfect...

You felt it from your peripheral senses that Eric was approaching the chair on your left. Putting an act of clueless human being, your hand reached to your phone on your left pocket slowly. As the kid beside you dragged the chair behind, he was about to give up his responsibility to bear his own weight to his chair... until the same hand you used to try reaching your phone went to the back of his chair quickly and pulled it.

"Ow!!" You were covering your face not to burst into explosion of loud giggles. Turning your head to the left, looking at the boy on the floor and you—

Oh shit— Eric what did you do?

You remembered Eric's jersey number for his basketball match back in high school, so you look at Chair 22 at the row behind your right. There he was smirking at you and waving. You gave him your panicked face; in response you received a shrug and 'not my problem' (judging from your poor lip-reading skills). You showed off your canine teeth and a middle finger.

"Let me guess..." Hyunjae stood up and fixed his chair, resting his pained butt on it.

"I'm—" Your face were burning hot like a stove, probably red like a tomato by now.

"A friend set you up, because you want to get into my pants. So, you pulled my chair..." It was like the world had a hand on your mouth for a second. You chuckled nervously.

"First of all, not exactly. My bitch brother, Eric, said he'll sit here."

"Eric is your brother?" You narrowed your eyes at him.

"Yeah, why?"

"I thought you were his girlfriend back in his house..." You faked a vomiting gesture. He laughed a little at you with a small smile.

"Back to the topic. Second... Is the 'pulling your chair' trick famous or something? You didn't seem surprised." He looked at you, mouth agape in bewilderment.

"You're not up to date with the famous students here, are you?" You probably looked silly right now, but your eyebrows were probably like a great horned owl.

"Should I be?" He raised his eyebrows, then shook his head while smiling.

"No, no! It's fine! It's famous, because I do that prank to all of my friends. Let's just say, it became a strategy for girls to get closer to me when I started being friends with kids like Juyeon, Changmin, and... your brother."

"The hell you mean my brother's famous?" Hyunjae raised his chin at Eric's direction.

"Judge for yourself."

As you look back at Chair 22, the two chairs on its left and right were seated by girls who were twirling their hair and touching his bicep. On the other hand, he kept looking at his phone screen while ignoring them.

"Morning, students! I will introduce the molecular spectroscopy this week..." As Professor Do went on talking, his words fade away the moment you heard the big, dictionary-rich words.

"The only thing I like about molecules are the periodic table thing..." The guy next to you murmured.

"I don't even remember half of it..." You turned to him.

"You don't? So if I say you're Beryllium-Uranium-Titanium-Ful, you wouldn't have a clue?" You shook your head.

He smiled a little bit, yet you couldn't read what the intention was for.

[11:32 A.M]

You and Hyunjae tidied your belongings to your own backpacks, as everyone else did. All the urge to scream and knock some sense into your brother was still concealed in your chest. Now that you thought of it, a question tickled the back of your scalp.

"I'm confused though..." He looked at you with pursed lips.

"Yeah?"

"Why weren't you curious about the set up?" He tilted his head.

"What do you mean?"

"You're not curious why my brother set me up with you?" Hyunjae let few chuckles escaped his lips.

"Judging by your answers... I believe, it was more likely he was trying to set me up with you." He started to walk to the door slowly, until his feet froze in the middle of it as he faced you again.

"And you know what? I'm pretty glad, honestly. See you tonight, Y/N." He walked away with another smile.

Your eyes were almost out of its sockets. Every nerve on your body was confused; whether they should be relaxed because the man was away, or they should still be tense by the fact that what he said just now didn't make sense? Honestly, you didn't know anymore.

You kept your eyes at Hyunjae as he kept going to the door, you saw that Eric was leaning on the door waiting for him. They both let their hand greet each other in their masculine manner. Then, Eric winked at you.

[7:18 P.M | Week 7]

There had been no lectures or assignments ever since Week 5 until Week 9. This was because it was yuletide. Eric kept gaining new friends and inviting more to your house. He had to keep a promise that he can only bring ten people to your house, as long he was responsible for having them as guests.

However, you gained a liking to his friends. They really were how you hoped Eric's friends to be; as funny as him, wouldn't make him feel alone like how he wouldn't to other people, and influenced him to try so many other things. So, the promise he made was still kept, but you don't mind if he couldn't keep it once or twice. Like sweeping up the floor at midnight after they went home? You don't mind doing it with him.

...Okay, maybe there was one more. Lee Hyunjae. That man kept inviting you to watch matches along, it was ridiculous! By now, you know which NBA stars belong in which team. He taught you how to play PlayStation games. Sometimes, all of you were there but only the two of were enjoying Resident Evil on the screen.

The second time you interacted with Hyunjae after you pulled his chair was after school when he went to your house together with you. You offered him a ride together with Eric, saving his 4,500 Won to go to your flat every day. From Week 4 to Week 5, the three of you had been doing carpool karaoke at noon.

From then on, little conversations and details mattered to Hyunjae. Once you mentioned that you love homemade popcorn and french fries. After that day, he came with a homemade popcorn and another day with french fries. Every detail about you that he caught were used as a weapon to unintentionally steal your heart.

He was... too nice for someone who was just Eric's friend in your life. Maybe that was why you decided to be involved when you were invited to watch a game together.

Now, it was 25th of December. None of the other ten boys went home to their hometown or families. It was a sad week for them all. They were homesick and so were you and Eric as you both missed your family in LA. Then, Sangyeon, who happened to be the only senior of yours that made it to this friend circle, said a Christmas dinner should sound nice.

So, there you all were, eating Samgyeop and the Saeng Galbi that you grilled. Everyone enjoying their Soju bottles with the rice accompanied by the smoky beef, laughing as you shared how Eric once was asked to be the guy to replace an injured baseball player, then going home and watched a baseball match with a man claiming to be the father of the injured, doing the service as a gratitude for Eric. Two months later, the man was on breaking news for car theft and being chased by the police for six hours straight.

After the dinner, everyone opened up their presents. You were given a few things by these boys, like a hat by Changmin with a note "I don't really know what you like, but Eric said your ears get numb when it snows. Thank you for letting us be a safe space to each other by letting us hang in your house every day! Must not be easy :("

You also got new headphones, because Haknyeon noticed your left Airpods was broken. For people who weren't exactly close, but always welcoming for you (because you welcomed them first), they were very considerate and caring.

You opened your gift from Hyunjae and there were three things there: a Chanel lipstick, a mistletoe, and a coupon for the arcade. You were worried for a second that the lipstick shade won't match you. You turned the case and read what the name of the shade was: '16 - Livermorium'

The thin coupon paper was almost see-through, you could see that there was a writing with a marker behind it.

Wanna bail? □ Yes □ No

You smiled widely at the words, you looked for Hyunjae as everyone was busy talking to each other, expressing their gratitude for the gifts received. You saw Hyunjae leaning near the vestibule, already looking at you. The grin in your face widened and you nodded. He smiled as you both stepped quietly out the room.

"Y/N! Thank you for the new jacket!! You don't know how much I wanted this kind—" Jacob was about to hug you but he noticed you and Hyunjae were taking your shoes to go outside quietly.

You both looked up at Jacob, frozen and you panicked a little. However, Jacob gave a gentle smile instead. He reached to his pocket and tossed Hyunjae his Kawasaki keys.

"Y'all go! I'll cover for you."

[7:49 P.M]

The two of you were in giggles as you scored thirty points in the timed basketball game, while Hyunjae scored more but since his hoop didn't detect the ball passing through, he was still at zero.

"I won!" He rolled his eyes while curving his lips to a crescent, exposing the white on his teeth and the red in his cheeks.

Suddenly, a light bulb was lit inside that wrinkly organ in your skull. You took a few steps to Hyunjae, looking up at him wearing the biggest smile.

"Hey, Hyunjae."

He looked at your eyes, hypnotized by those honey ambers. His own eyes gazing at you from your eyes to the corner of your lips. For one second, he was too drunk in you to even respond.

"Yeah?"

"You opened my gift yet?"

"Yeah... The perfume, right? How much did it cost?" He did not intervene with his eye contact that moved from your eyes to your lips to your eyes and your lips (on and on and on).

"127,900 Won. It's custom made, just like the lipstick you gave me."

He started to feel weak in this eye contact, as if about to give up and just kiss you already. His breath started to hitch and had no energy to do anything beyond whispering.

"Yeah? What did you pick for my custom perfume?"

"I gave the perfumer a sample of my shampoo, my own perfume, my lipstick, and the butter you use for the popcorn you make... because it smells like me." Hyunjae smirked at the sensual, yet the genuine loving manner.

"Is that it?" His right arm decided to hug your waist.

You swore that you almost lost all the shyness and the contemplation to kiss him right there right then. His left thumb reached your bottom lip, dragging to the end point of your chin.

"You want me to remember you with your scent?" It was your turn to blush and get drunk in his love.

You nodded with a shameless naughty smile. Then you let your chin rest on his chest as you looked up to his eyes like a puppy. His pupils began to dilate as he stared at your eyes like a king sitting on his throne looking down at a begging treasonist kissing his feet.

"I just want you overall..." You whispered as he chuckled.

"Mhmm? Yeah? Why don't you show me?"

Hyunjae noticed you took something from the pockets of your pants. It was the Chanel lipstick he gave you and the mistletoe. As you left a gap between you and him enough to put on the makeup in front of him, he took the mistletoe from your hands put it on top.

"Make my dreams come true, will you?"

"Oh what? Kissing you under the mistletoe like the Justin Bieber song you always play?" You both giggled, never letting each other's sights out of each other's sights.

"Not really... Kissing Y/N and nobody else but Y/N had always been the dream since the first time I saw you." You raised your eyebrows at him while smiling widely.

"...And my childhood 13-year-old dream that I had when I was hitting puberty." You couldn't stop smiling and laughing. You snaked your hand, holding the mistletoe with him.

"Gladly..."

You leaned in with the best slow, romantic pace you could ever think of to introduce the relationship for much more kisses to come. It felt like you woke up from the dandellion hills in the Garden of Eden. Felt so right as if nothing in life had ever wronged you. It felt like you flew out of your body, elevating to the outer space where you live among the stars, just floating.

You both gave yourselves some breaths to take in, letting some space between you both.

"I have a question."

"Shoot."

"Why a radioactive element, Livermorium?" He gave away the same giggles he had been having ever since he was with you in that arcade.

"I might memorize the periodic table, but I don't know what the chemical elements mean... I just like the way you can have a code to speak with when you have the periodic table." You tilted your head at him in confusion.

"So what is there to decipher?" He grinned at your cluelessness.

"Livermorium in short is Lv in Group 16 of the periodic table... familiar?" You looked at him wide-eyed as if starstruck at a Nobel Prize genius.

"Chair 16, Chemistry class... Lv short for the word Love?" He nodded proudly, enjoying the attention your eyes gave him.

"Corny, right?"

"Very!"

That night, he confessed that he would really like to be yours and he had never had anyone else (and didn't want to have) other than you in mind. It might look like it was too fast but the chemistry you both had spoke much for yourselves that actually, you were both ready.

From that moment on, the lipstick stained not only on your lips, but on his. He wore it so proud he wouldn't even wipe off the red-pinkish messy smears on his lower cheeks.

[piratecaptainscaptainpirates]

Watched s2e1 again today, and the leadup to Ed shooting Izzy just gets better and better every time I watch it! Knowing how everything's gonna play out, now, it makes it so much easier to track Ed's thought process.

Ed and Izzy's relationship in this first ep is, to put it mildly, deeply fucked up. Izzy tells Ed he "has love" for him, and Ed's like "ew bro wtf," which is incredible on its own, and combined with how Ed reminds Izzy that he can "find someone else" to do Izzy's job if Izzy won't do it, Izzy realizes he's not nearly as valuable to Ed as he clearly thought he was and starts Really Going Through It.

By the time Izzy goes to ask Ed if he wants to "talk it through," Izzy's begun to realize that he's fucked up. Ed has not seen Izzy crying; he doesn't know that. He has no reason to belive that Izzy would ever approach him from a place of genuine concern and ask if he was okay. Ed was busy staring longingly at the Stede cake topper when Izzy walked in and hurriedly hid it; that combined with what surely would have seemed like a very pointed to reference to Stede's "talk it through as a crew" mantra no doubt made it seem like at least one of two things were happening: either Izzy had realized Ed was slipping up and wasn't performing Blackbeard correctly, and/or Izzy was mocking Ed again.

My guess is Ed was thinking both options were probably true. I think this is when we see the first big shift towards actively suicidal behavior from Ed, when he goes out on deck and starts pointing a gun under his own chin.

Now. I've thought what Izzy could have said here so things would turn out better for him. If he'd apologized to Ed then? If he'd owned up to how much he hurt Ed at the end of s1?

But the thing is, Izzy doesn't even blame Stede. He still blames Ed, and Ed's feelings specifically. He says the vibe on the ship is fucked because of Ed's "feelings for Stede Bonnet," and that's when Ed shoots him.

Ed nods, barely even waits for Izzy to get Stede's name out, and I think that's because it wasn't Stede's name that did it, I think it was blaming Ed's feelings.

Ed's got a lot of things going on in his head during these scenes. He thinks Izzy has realized he's not doing a good enough job of being Blackbeard and pretending he's not still heartbroken, he thinks Izzy might be mocking him about it, and given Izzy's threats at the end of s1, he's probably thinking that it's not safe to keep Izzy around anymore even before they step out on deck. But I think it's Izzy blaming Ed's feelings that pushes him over the edge.

[izzysillyhandsy]

Ed and Izzy: Cleaning up the mess

As of the end of Ep7, Ed has left Stede and his whole life behind because "he doesn't even know who he is". And I'd like to suggest in this rambling essay that Ed's journey to self-knowledge and self-love can't properly begin before he's come to terms with what happened with Izzy.

Although Ed has steadily been trying to make amends, at the start of Ep6 he's still feeling unsettled and guilty as hell about the terrible things he did (was capable of!): killing his dad, condemning his whole crew to certain death, Izzy's toe, shooting Izzy, being "killed" by Jim and the crew with Izzy looking on...

There's a surprising amount of Izzy in Ed's flashback (I was honestly surprised the toe cutting made it in - somehow the whole discussion around "Izzy deserving it" made me think Ed thought so as well? But of course he doesn't think that. Izzy does.)

And while Ed's central conflict is his underlying self-hatred and self-doubt, there still is a daily reminder of all of his worst tendencies and (still very recent) acts right under his nose.

I think I got all the poison out of my system...

...or not. The indestructible fucker's still here.

Izzy is Ed’s walking and talking guilt room and no amount of deflecting, story-telling or sugarcoating can turn that poison into positivity.

Stede, I love you for your sometimes naive, sweet outlook on life (and Ed does too), but Ed and Izzy, that’s years and years of love and devotion, resentment and hate, building each other up and tearing each other down. They’ve just come out of the absolute worst breakup in history, with so many things unsaid and unknown they’d need the whole of S3 to talk it through.

Stede applying his motivational poster line to Izzy of all people is a little bit tone deaf, especially because it happens right while Izzy’s singing a bittersweet love song about/to Ed.

Which he continues, in French, while Ed and Stede are having sex for the first time so that's definitely not helping. I wonder how good Ed's French is, but it is honestly almost comical to imagine Ed cheating on Iz making love to his new boyfriend while his ex is singing his heart out about „It's only him for me, and me for him, for life - he told me, he swore to me, for life“.

So Izzy's still here. Izzy is still visibly hurting, physically (your fault!!) and mentally (your fault as well in so many ways). And you're already over it and having fun with your new boyfriend? Of course not.

Whatever they were/are to each other specifically, Ed and Izzy were as good as married. They spent almost every day together for decades. Izzy let himself be maimed and hurt over and over again out of love and loyalty. And Ed feels very, very guilty about it. Even if this guilt is not the first thing constantly on Ed's mind, it's certainly there in the background, simmering.

On the other hand, Izzy is the one who kept Ed stationary - they had a good, secure (for pirates anyway) life together, why risk change? I don't think Izzy had noticed (or wanted to notice) how bad it'd gotten for Ed for a long time. So there's also a lot of resentment there from Ed's side, all tied up with Izzy.

It's a very complicated mess and I think that all this is at least part of the reason for Ed's confusion and need to... just go.

But that's not all, by far.

History repeating itself...

...maybe this seems a bit familiar?

We don't know a lot of Ed&Izzy's backstory (apart from: it's a long one!), but I think it's (almost) canon that it is Izzy's job to make sure Ed is content and safe and, most importantly, to kill for Ed.

And even though their relationship (whatever it was) probably didn't start out as tender and sweet as Ed/Stede, I think they started out much more carefree and happy, possibly excited and adventurous. Until their lifestyle took a toll on both of them - Izzy as Ed's killer and constant protector and Ed as Blackbeard, who Ed started to resent more and more. In the end, all that was left were two broken people in a codependent relationship.

Now it seems like gentle, sweet Stede is slowly turning into Izzy 2.0 - swearing (as far as I remember, Stede almost never said fuck in S1), becoming a "real pirate", and worst of all, killing for Ed even though Ed almost begged him not to (seems familiar?).

Plus, this is happening when Ed, still freshly traumatized from his stint as pirate extreme wants nothing to do with violence in general and piracy specifically. Least of all he wants Stede damaged (or izzyfied).

Stede seemed like a way out of pirating, a chance for a loving, fulfilling relationship. Maybe even a way out of his relationship with Izzy, who I think Ed (subconsciously?) blames for the destructive path his life had taken.

Now he isn't so sure anymore if Stede actually wants this.

Talk it through...

...eventually, maybe. Hopefully.

Of course, not every obstacle Ed has to face, every step on the road to self-love and happiness is about Izzy. Vice versa, Izzy is much more than his relationship with Ed, and he has his own problems independent from him.

But this "marriage" with Izzy was Ed’s longest and most important relationship, and also the last relationship before Stede. The way their relationship became restrictive, damaging and unescapable in the end was both their faults. It'd be quite natural if Ed was a bit cautious with that kind of history. Am I a person who always ends up like this? How did we fuck up this badly? Is there a way out?

Most importantly though, a lot of Ed’s guilt and self-doubt is wrapped up in Izzy - if you're capable of doing that (and that, and that) to the person you love - what else are you capable of?

In conclusion, Ed and Izzy need real closure, one way or the other. Before that happens, Ed won't be happy on any way he chooses, and certainly not in his relationship with Stede.

At the moment, they're not talking, really. It's incredibly sweet though, the way they make these little concessions towards the other (Izzy doing much more than Ed, as per usual). They're almost shy, asking for advice, giving reassurance and understanding, and sharing bottles, smiles and looks.

Will they get a long heart-to-heart in the finale? Of course not, there's not enough time. I think we might get a symbolic moment though.

Ed already knows Izzy loves him. Izzy really doesn't know (on top of everything else, poor kid). The only thing he got from Ed was the "Sorry 'bout your leg", even the latch got a bit more.

Izzy needs to hear that too. "It's not your fault you're broken. You didn't break you. Just trying to do your job, weren't you?"

(btw, I love that Ed is softly blowing onto the latch here, while Izzy is doing the same to his little shark <3)

It's also possible Izzy will get his "I loved you, best I could" in person. Hopefully not exactly in those words. But, for both of them, this will be a start to open proper communication (which might happen offscreen between seasons).

And when we get S3, Ed will be (more) prepared to embark on his journey to happiness, with or without Izzy by his side.

[gnrbitch]

Songs that remind them of you

———

Axl- Tiny Dancer, Elton John

Obviously i had to Choose Elton John for Axl

Def sings this song to you on the daily

Listens to it when he’s away from you

“Axl its 3am”

“I know but i’m listening to Elton… I miss you Y/n”

“Tiny dancer?”

“of course”

Thinks the melody of the song is the best way to describe you as a person

His heart always swells when he hears it

When you guys break up girl… he can’t even hear one second of the song without breaking shit

Of course you guys get back together through

and you’re stuck with that song forever

But it’s okay cause it’s a good fucken song

Izzy- Beast of the Burden, The Rolling Stones

Okay i’m talking 88-89 Izzy

Decided this was gonna be your song after the first time you guys went out

Went home and listened to Some girls

Then this song came on

And… boom

You would go over to his house and ask him to play guitar for you

And he would play Beast of the Burden… every… single… time

“Iz why do you always play that song?”

“reminds me of you”

Says it very cooly, knowing his heart did a flip when he admitted it to you

Asked Keith if they could play it when they toured with them

You didn’t know he did that until you guys went back on the bus and he told you

You were all smiles

SEX!!!

Slash- Panama, Van Halen

Slash thinks your the most badass girl he’s ever met

First time he saw you, heart eyes

You walked pass him & Duff putting up flyers for their show

Thought you walked like you owned the world

and he liked it

He def struggled with getting you to go out with him

But he pulled out his best act for you

You guys have def got your sex on to this song

He’s all smiles when this song comes on

But he hasn’t told you that this song reminds him of you

You’re very confused as to why he always wants to hear it

“What should we listen to?”

“Panama”

“Slash we just finished that song”

“Play it again”

Duff- I wanna be your dog, The Stooges

Self explanatory

Head over heals for you

Follows you around

Which leads to the guys calling him your dog

And he’s fine with it

Sings it to you in his Iggy Pop impression

Girl i wanna be yo dawg

Makes you laugh

Which makes him smile like an idiot

You think it’s cute

Enjoyable cause you both love the Stooges

Steven- I was made for lovin you, Kiss

Super cute cause we all know he loves Kiss

Tells you all the time he was “made for lovin you”

You think it’s kinda cringe but you do love it

Maybe cause you love him

Sings it for you

And we all know Steven can’t sing

So…

Just remember you love him

Always plays it when you guys hang out

You guys def dance to it

The guys have walked in on you guys dancing

You were very embarrassed

Steven wasn’t

He didn’t care

They immediately bursted out laughing

“Are you guys trying to reenact dirty dancing or what???”

———

Hope you guys liked this LOL sorry it’s not a fic 😞🤘 . But lmk if i should do more of these!! Till next time!

[actress4him]

Whumptober 2023 - Day 19 - College AU

This is the Brumaria College AU, more chapters of which can be found on the masterlist. It’s a little glimpse into Kamaria’s first relationship, pre-Bruno. Kane belongs to Izzy and is used with permission! I used the whole prompt song as inspiration for this one.

Taglist: @painful-pooch

The Shadow of Death Masterlist

No. 19: “I’m in love with the way you hate me.”

Contains: lady whump, abusive relationship, hitting, noncon touch, noncon kissing, emotional abuse, references to past minor whump, foster care references, referenced parental abuse

.

He’s nice, at first. Buys Kamaria coffee at the cafe on campus. Recommends the best professors, and tells her which ones to stay away from. Helps her set up her schedule for the semester. Walks her back to her dorm at night. 

He treats her like…a person. Maybe not an equal, because there’s always that underlying thread of superiority, of implications that she’s stupid and weak. But she is weak, and she is stupid, sometimes, so she never protests. Her father treats her the same way, without any of the nice parts, and all the foster parents and social workers did, too, so it’s refreshing just to have someone see her and go out of their way to help her out without it being their job. 

When he asks her to go out with him, she’s…confused. But she doesn’t see any reason to say no. She’d never imagined herself in a relationship, but this is what you’re supposed to do in college, right? Normal girls say yes when a nice, handsome guy asks them out. In fact, she’s sure there are other girls, much more normal and smart than her, who would love for Alonso Kane to ask them out. 

So she says yes. And they start dating. 

The nice, out of the way gestures don’t last. She didn’t really expect them to. He grows more impatient with her, more demanding of her time, and gets upset when she can’t fulfill his every wish. His time is his own, of course, to spend however he wants it, but she’s not allowed to make plans without his approval. 

Kamaria easily falls into the motions of doing whatever it takes to appease him. She’s been doing it since she was twelve, there’s nothing new about any of this. Every foster family comes with their own set of rules, and she went through more than she cared to keep count of in two years. Their reactions to those rules being broken varied greatly, but as an “angry child” she mostly got placed with the ones that had the more extreme reactions. 

Her father is the exact same way, only with even more impossible rules to keep. Kane’s are at least fairly easy to keep track of. 

It’s not all bad, either. He’s the only person she has to talk to, and he still takes her out sometimes to football games or to get ice cream or coffee. His advice might be delivered in a cruel, impatient manner, but it’s still good advice. And yes, he likes to dictate what she eats and wears, but he’s spending his own money on her. She doesn’t have any money to spend on extra things, her father only gives her what she needs for the necessities, so it’s all a treat to her. 

The fact that she hates the way he treats her, that this is exactly what she was happy to get away from when she moved off to college, shouldn’t be important. This is life, this is how life works.

And she deserves it, anyway. As soon as they became officially boyfriend and girlfriend, he tried to kiss her. She may have freaked out a little. He has a right to be angry about that. She lets him kiss her now, but she hates it, and she’s sure he can tell that. She won’t let him go any farther, either, is extremely adamant about kissing being as far as they will ever go, and it’s no secret that he isn’t happy. He still pushes her, tries to put his hands on her, and gets mad when she gets all tense and scared. 

Reminding her of her father is one thing. She never imagined him reminding her of Roderick, too. 

But all of that means she’s a bad girlfriend, and it’s fine for him to punish her for it.

The first time he hits her comes as no surprise. She can take a hit, she’s used to that, too. Kane seems a little miffed when she doesn’t burst into tears, but she apologizes and fixes her mistake, so he doesn’t care too much. He learns fairly quickly that the threat of hitting her is a good way to make her even more obedient, just like she learned quickly as a teen that being obedient was a good way to make sure she didn’t get hit as much. 

Their relationship is exhausting. He picks her up for a football game, compliments the clothes and jewelry that he picked out for her, holds her hand on the walk to the stadium, drinks beer and chats with his frat brothers while completely ignoring her through the whole game, gets mad at her for saying she needs to get back and study when the game is done and nearly knocks her off the bleachers, makes fun of her with his friends, walks her back to her dorm way too late, starts talking about how beautiful she is outside her door, kisses her until her skin is crawling and she’s about to panic, and punches her in the stomach and storms off when she tells him she needs to sleep.

But it’s still better than what she’s used to. There’s nothing else better out there, at least not for someone like her. Fairy tale romances are for stories, and for perfect cheerleaders with two perfect parents and no anger issues. She firmly believes that this is as good as it’s ever going to get for her, that there’s really nothing at all wrong with it.

Until she meets Bruno.

[purplerose244]

Watched the eighth episode of LEGO DreamZzz: Loved it!

EVERY NEW EPISODE IS MY FAVOURITE EPISODE! I feel very attached for all five of them, I want Mateo to keep working on his confidence, I wanted Cooper to keep walking his own way, I want Izzie to save her friends, I want Logan to better himself, I was Zoey to have more friends I... I... 😭😭😭

Also side note, the how to draw videos are super cute, Mateo is super good and also...

Mateo: I'll make a tutorial on how to draw all of these wonderous creatures, quite fascinating right? Anyway TODAY I'M GONNA DRAW MY VERY COOL FRIEND ZOEY

Yeah I'm pretty sure this guy has a crush 😂 And he thinks her eyelashes are pretty 💕💕

I'm super curious! ONTO THE EPISODE

(Yes I watched the whole first season already, and I was wondering if anyone knew where the second season is? I know someone on Youtube post it, but how? Where did it come out?)

THE BIGGER PICTURE

THE THUMBNAIL IS SHOWING MATEO AND ZOEY! ARE THEY FINALLY INTERACTING?!? I feel like we got lots of time to define Zoey's character, so I wonder if we'll see Teo showing more of his crush

DUDE THESE COMICS ARE SO COOL LOOK AT MY BABY GO 😍😍😍

Lol Mat dedicated two whole pages to Zoey and Zian, sweetie you're no subtle, it saves you only your shyness 🥰🥰

AWW HE WANTS TO TALK TO HER 💕

I know that he got a crush and obviously that's a major reason, but I really like how it's so simple. Mateo thinks she is really cool, she wants to talk to her. He really reminds me of me a lot 😅

Ah, the whole important milestone for every artist in school: having the courage to show his art to someone else

So not even Coop saw these comics? Only Izzie did? Interesting...

Logan is up to stuff apparently?

LOL we're finally seeing other professors aside from prof Oz and that one jerk coach! Interesting change from sensei Wu from Ninjago and sir Brickland from Nexo Knights, she seems nice

LOGAN IS BACK IN OUR TEAM?!?! 😍

Awww, he did have a bit of a change of heart! Did he realize Mateo is actually kinda great at leading and wants in? Or just really likes the team? Whatever the reason, welcome back mah dude! 💪���

Gotta say that Izzie got great instinct, whenever something is wrong she feels it right away, so I'd trust her about this Insomniac Club

... or maybe it's a bunch of people playing Spyro or Ratchet and Clank, who knows 😂

Noooo stealing is a bad idea

NOOOO STEALING IS A BAD IDEA

Vincent's characters are quite different from each other, but they do have a common pattern: they make some pretty amazingly bad decisions 😂😂

TEO NO DON'T AGREE 😱

My baby got confidence only in the Dream World while not in the real world COME ON SWEETIE YOU CAN DO IT

Oh so we are using that locator thingie! It seemed very useful when they found it in the Night Bureau, even though the discarded it so easily

Is that thing not enough to find the Sandman? I guess not?

LOOK AT THE SCHOOL 😂

ZOEY IS THERE 👏👏👏👏👏

"Hey broseph, que pasa?" I just love these little spanish snippets, love to see some rep, especially in a LEGO show!

DUDE WHAT IS THIS COACH DREAMING

Interesting this aspect of this world, I thought that dreams were just the people landing on these realms and exploring, but I wonder if these worlds change according to the influence of the person dreaming

Julia seems like a very sweet lady... unfortunately she teaches math, therefore making her the evil incarnate 😡

I hate math sorry miss school memories

LOOK AT Z BLOB PUSHING MATEO I LOVE HIM SO MUUUUUUCH 💚💚💚💚

Zoey playing the guitar 😍 Well she has always showed she was a musical person, between the song and recognizing music notes in the seashell message, I didn't realize to which extent! It fits her

Is the Rad Radioactive some sort of narrative about drinking junk stuff before going to sleep? 😂😂

I... did not expect the Nightmare King to straight up say "dude-bro" 🤣

Awww, is Logan becoming self-conscious over causing so many troubles? I realize I've been very against him in the past but in retrospect, that must have been tough

Hey Nightmare Kin- I mean, Lance

Dude you're seriously using his insecurities against him? HE IS A KID DANG IT

I LOVE MATEO SO MUCH I CAN'T EVEN I SWEAR 😭😭😭😭😭 We got so many wonderful protagonists in the past but all with ego, with confidence, with inner strength, which is great. Then there's this kid who struggles so much into the real world, he's self-conscious about his art, he can't even talk to the girl he's into and he feels so little about himself

THIS KID WILL LEARN THAT ONE STEP AT THE TIME YOU CAN GET EXACTLY WHERE YOU WANT TO BE AND I'M ALL HERE FOR IT 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Also can I just say, love me a guy who thinks his girl is the coolest person ever 👌👌

Fun fact, in the English dub Mateo says "T-That was amazing! Your song, I mean...", while in the Italian dub he says "Beautiful, amazing... your song!". It makes his feelings even clearer 💕

WELL HELLO MORE ANGST FOR ZOEY? Gotta be honest I did think that the song debacle was a big weak, but I didn't think there was a whole thing about losing everything, included a best friend! My poor super cool girl 😢😢😢

... is... is Zian the best friend? Did the Night Hunter hit the best friend, making it a night terror, but managed to break free and now he looks like this?

HEADCANON MOMENT DON'T MIND ME JUST HAVING A BLAST 😍

Now I get why Zoey was adamant over Izzie not calling her her friend... but I think this group is making her change her mind 💕

Logan, sweetie, why did you think rapping was a good idea? 😅

Okay, new theory... what if Ms. Castillo is Lunia? Maybe when defeated, Lunia retreated into the Waking World and stayed there. She seems to be always there to help, I kinda think it could be true

PLAN TIME WITH MATEO- Logan no stop what are you doing- DROP THE MATTIE NICKNAME DANG IT HE DOESN'T LIKE IT

I know you're trying but come on

I KNOW YOU'RE TRYING BUT STOP

YEEEEEE ZOEYYYYYYYY 😍😍

"That's what friends are for, right?" I'm super happy for her but also I love that Mateo is not smiling, he looks genuinely shocked like "DID I MANAGE NOT TO MESS IT UP?!" 😂😂

THERE'S A FROG TAXIE 😵‍💫

Julia seems like another stressed character, she just wants to play her music and relax for once in her life... yeah, she teaches math, that's understandable

Okay, see, Castillo is the first one to clap! I feel like she knows more than what she lets on and after my experience throught Ninjago and master "there's something I should've told you" Wu, I don't trust old LEGO people not to know stuff

They got the answers... still bad idea 😅

LOOK AT THAT EXCHANGE OF LOOKS THEY DIDN'T HAVE TO TALK ZOEY KNOWS NOW THAT HE WANTS TO BE HER FRIEND AND STRUGGLES WITH TALKING AND OMG LOOK AT HOW SHE LOOKS AT HIM WHILE HE WALKS TO HIS DESK SHE LOOKS HAPPY AND I BELIEVE GRATEFUL AAAAAAA- 🥰😍🥰🥰😍🥰🥰

Yes I might be shipping them, we'll see what happens but so far I like what I see 🥰🥰

Ah, so the answers were useless I see

And Teo knows they screwed up, alright that's nice that he didn't loose his integrity over something like this 👌👌

Okay but did all the other people hyped up the Destroyers the entire episode to troll them or because they actually fear them? Just how mean are these middle school students, seriously 😅

Yeah Teo needs to train, my son sucks at sports just like moi 😅😅

Nice to see Cooper is not letting Logan off the hook on this one! And still Teo is kind enough to apologize for being hard on him... even though he had rights for it 😅😅

Noooo Logan don't do something stupid

Logan??

LOGAN????

ONLY TWO EPISODES LEFT AND OMG I'M LIKING THEM MORE AND MORE 😍😍😍

[ahungeringknife]

365: February 1

@seventhscorpio

Oof I wrote this a while ago originally for the friendship prompt month Izzy did. This one was "drifting apart" bc I like to make myself sad :,D

--

As soon as he was released from his mom’s hand Gup ran off. He wasn’t afraid. The Throne World was exactly where he was supposed to blend in. He didn’t get overly excited seeing other Hive anymore and they still gave him a confused look because he didn’t look like them. He was a Hive but not like them all spiky and pointy. But if any of them gave him a hard time his mom was keeping watch from a distance.

After wandering around a bit and asking some thrall Gup found his friend Dornuk with his tablet and friendly Ghost Sammy making some sort of notation. “What’cha doing?” he asked

Dornuk jumped and jumbled his tablet. “Xolkûn! Don’t sneak up on me.”

“I didn’t, you’re just bad at listening,” Gup said cheerfully. Dornuk scowled at him. “What are you doing?” he leaned over to see his tablet.

“Ugh. If you must know I’m doing very important work for Katharkara,” he said in a snooty way.

“Who’s that?” Gup asked.

“She’s one of Savathûn’s head witches how do you not know that?” Dornuk was annoyed.

“Because I’m just pretending to be an Acolyte,” Gup said cheerfully.

Dornuk made an annoyed noise. “Don’t remind me,” he looked away. “Personality of a lower species too.”

“Awww, you don’t mean that,” Gup said, standing next to him. “You liked it when my mom brought us both lunch.”

Dornuk said nothing for a long while. Gup was used to letting people have quiet thinking time. His uncle needed lots of both quiet and loud thinking time and his mom was the quiet thinking type too. He supposed he was also from just being around them. Uncle Leon was not the quiet thinking type and it was so annoying sometimes. “Why do you always act like that?” Dornuk asked, squinting at him.

“Act like what?”

“You’re older than me!” Dornuk cried.

Gup’s face smoothed over. “There’s no reason to yell, Dornuk,” he said and his voice was a few octaves lower than usual.

“You finally sound normal,” Dornuk huffed.

“It’s just for fun,” Gup said.

“It’s annoying,” Dornuk had his arms folded. “I don’t know why you do that.” Gup shrugged. “And you go by that ridiculous name.”

“My mom gave me that name,” Gup said. “And Xolkûn sounds so stuffy.”

“Better than Gup,” Dornuk grumbled.

“You’re such a grump.”

“It’s embarrassing telling someone I’m going to hang out with my older friend, Gup,” Dornuk complained and Gup laughed. Dornuk said it so funny every time. It was the accent from the Hidden Swarm he’d never shaken off. They said the u in his name funny. “And then you sound like that. It’s so unbecoming for someone who’s so clearly going to have an insane morph,” he said petulantly, arms still folded.

“Really?” Sammy asked, Hive Ghost shell cocking to the side as she looked at Gup.

Gup waved him off. “So Dornuk says.” They stood there quietly for a moment. “It makes Eric happy when I act like that,” he said eventually. “I’m her little guy and she likes when I act like a human kid.”

“So what? She’s a human.”

“She’s my mom. And it’s fun.”

“There’s hardly anything fun about how you act.”

Gun frowned at Dornuk. “Sorry.” Dornuk was often a bit rough around the edges but this was the first time he was outright a jerk about anything.

“Where are you going?” Dornuk asked as Gup went back the way he’d come, green eyes wide.

“Gonna go see some of my other friends who are nice to me,” Gup said, voice back up in his normal cheerful octave.

“Wha- Xolkûn,” Dornuk said but Gup just walked away.

[blackhakumen]

Mini Fanfic #1051: Death's New Fan (Super Smash Bros Ultimate)

9:45 p.m. Outside of the Smash Pin Movie Theater.......

Isabelle: (Happily Walks Out of the Theater woth the Star Wolf Trio) I can't thank you enough for taking us here for our outing tonight, Panther. That new Puss in Boots movie was such a thrill to watch!~

Leon: (Simply Nodded in Agreement) I agree. The animation was stellar and the story was a sight to behold. (Grabs his Chin While Thinking) Though, it has got to me wondering what the presucessor look in comparison......

Panther: (Shrugs) It's average. Not the worst of the worst, but nowhere near as spectacular as it's sequel. (Smiles Softly) Still, I'm down for another movie night if all of you wants to see that one for yourselves.

Isabelle: Sounds like a plan to me. (,Turns to her Boyfriend Next to Her) What do you think, Wolfie?

Wolf: (Eyes Widened and Twitches in Silence).........

Isabelle: (Frowns in Worry) Wolfie? What's wrong? Did you not like the movie?

Panther: (Forms a Playful Smirk on his Face) Oh I wouldn't worry about our captain there, Isa. He's been like this every time Death is on the screen.

Leon: (Puts on a Deadpinned Look on his Face) And i believe there's a high chance of that boy never shutting up about him in a matter of-

Wolf: HOLY SHIT DEATH IS SO FUCKING COOL!!!!

Leon: (Sighs in Defeat While Facepalming Himself) And so it begins.....

Wolf: (Smiles Excitedly) Did any of you took a good look at that guy!? The black torn cloak he wears, those menacing red eyes, razor sharp teeth, the complete fear factor he brings to each scenes he appears in that beautiful, eerily whistle every time he walks in the goddamn room, and those.....dual, sticked together hook things he fights with. I don't what they're called, but I sure as hell wanna use it!

Leon: Wolf, you're terrible at using melee weapons.

Wolf: (Scoffs While Shrugs) Then I'll have to train myself using each one till my knees are dropped. Speaking of which...(Turbs to Panther) Panther, do you still git that Basic Español book in your room? I'mma learn me some Spanish tonight!

Isabelle let's out a cute snort before getting into a giggling fit.

Wolf: (Snickers at his Girlfriend Beside Him) What got you laughing, Izzy?

Isabelle: Oh nothing~ Just admiring your cuteness display right now~

Wolf: (Eyes Widened Before Looking Away While Blushing) I-Izzy, come on. I not that cute......

Panther: Boss, is that a hint blushing I see?-

Wolf: NO! I'm just....(Looks Away From his Team) Feeling hot right now is all....

Leon: It's cold outside.

Wolf: (Rolls his Eyes) Oh great observation there, Powalski. Remind me to head to the store so I can buy you a pack of cookies!

Leon: Your sarcasm is more blatant than your apparent cutesy side.

Wolf: (Flips Off at Leon) Screw you, man.

Isabelle: (Pouts at the Chameleon) Now, Leon, be nice.. Wolfie's not cute.

Wolf: (Smirks Proudly) Exactly! Tell 'em, Izzy.

Isabelle: (Stands on her Tippy Toes and Happily Scratches Behind Wolf's Ear) He's the most Goodest Boi ever!~ Yes he is, yes he is~

Wolf: (Starts Blushing Again) I take it back, I take it all back! I ain't that good, Izzy!

Panther: (Starts Smirking at his Leader) Oh really?~ Than how come Leon and I can see your tail wagging more swiftly the more she scratches you?

Wolf: (Glares at Panther) Ear scratches are the perfect methods to use for comfort and stress relief, everyone knows that Caroso!!

Isabelle: (Gently Rubs Wolf's Arm) Now, Wolfie, calm down. There's no need for you to get upset right now.

???: Yeah, you don't want your Good Boi status to get revoked now, do ya?

Wolf: (Groans While Pinching his Noss at a Very Familiar Voice Ringing in his Ear) Of all the people that have to see me like this- (Takes a Deep Breath Before Rolling his Eyes in Annoyance) What are you doing here, McCloud?

Fox: Me and the ladies were giving the new Puss in Boots movie a watch. (Crosses his Arms With Smug Smirk on his Face) Though, I couldn't help but notice that you're cute side is showing. Could it be that great, merciless Star Wolf is starting to lose his edge? Hm. Has a nice ring to it now that I think about.

Wolf: ('Tch') Bitch please. You're the LAST person to go around talking about who's losing edge when you've been losing yours a long time ago.

Fox: What are you talking about?I never lost my edge.

Wolf: Yeah, you have. (Chuckles Evilly) And I am so willing to give you all the reasons why that is.

Fox: (Scoffs While Crossing his Arms) Like you can find any.....

Wolf: No need. I have plenty. For starters, you let a space Bounty Hunter call you 'Foxy' on a daily basis.

Fox: Samus and I been friends since day one! Of course, I'd let her call me that eventually. No matter how much I hated it...

Wolf: Oh and speaking of which, let's not forget the fact that you had to keep watching over some old lady's kid. Fox McCloud, the "Fearless" leader of Star Fox, relegated to a babysitter. (Smirk Grew Wider) Now THAT has a nicer ring to it.

Fox: (Sighs While Pinching his Nose) Okay, first off, how does having the responsibility of watching over someone's kid derails my status in any capacity? (Glares at Wolf) And second, don't insult the Strongest Woman in the World like that!

Isabelle: (Lightly Glares at her Boyfriend) Yeah, Wolfie. She looks wonderful for her age.

Wolf: Yeah, I'll admit, she's a looker. (Went Back to Smirking) Doesn't change the fact that she's a 60-year old has been.

Fox: That's not even close to being her actual age.....

Samus: (Joins Up the Group) Yo, losers. (Rest her Arm on Top of Fox's Head) What's going on out here?

Fox: ('Sigh') Wolf and I are having another banter again.

Isabelle: (Starts Twiddling her Paws a Tad Bit Nervously) And he might of....sort of.....kind of....called your girlfriend old.....

Samus: (Slowly Turns to Wolf With a Glare of her Own) You dick. You do know she can kick your ass, right?

Wolf: ('Scoffs') She can try, but I doubt she'll lamd a hit on m-

Before Wolf can even finish that sentence, Chun-Li comes straight out of nowhere and delivers a flying kick to his chest, sending him directly towards a nearby pole thats knock him down on the ground. The merciless bounty hunter groans in pain as he sees the "old" lady he insulted glares down on him.

Chun-Li: How's THAT an old has been? Also, I am only fifty something years old and that is ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW!! ('Hmph') (Crosses her Arms as She Walks and Turns Away From Wolf)

Li-Fen: (Happily Cheers For her Mother) Way a go, mommy!~ Whooooo!~

Samus: (Crosses her Arms With a Satisfied Smirk on her Face) What did I say?~

Isabelle: (Shrugs) You did sort of warned him. In a way.

Panther: ('Whistle') Now, that wjat I call an impressive impressive kick. And from a bella dama nonetheless~

Samus: (Points at Panther) Watch it, play boy. This bella dama is already taken.

Chun-Li: (Hugs Samus Arm With a Big Smile on her Face as Two, Fox and the Giggling Li-Fen Walks Back Home) Happily so!~

Samus: I'll text you when we get back to the apartment, Izzy.

Isabelle: (Waves Goodbye to Samus and the Others) 'Kay! Have a safe walk back! (Makes her Way to an Ass Kicked Wolf) You okay, Wolfie?

Wolf: (Gets Back Uo From the Ground While Grunting) Yeah....(Starts Stretching his Back Straight) I've had worse hits given to me in the past. But damn does she hits like a moving truck!.....

Isabelle: Well, she isn't called the "Strongest Woman Alive" for nothing, you know?

Wolf: (Sighs While Scratching the Back Back of his Head and Rolling his Eyes Once More) Now you tell me. Ow.

Isabelle: How about we head back to the mansion and watch that first Puss in Boots Panther? I'll make you freshly baked cookies~

Wolf: (Smiles a Little as Him and Isabelle Starts Joining the Rest of the Star Wolf Team, Walking Back Home) Yeah. I'd like that. You should make extras for Leon for being observating asshole.

Leon: (Rolls his Eyes) Such a comedian you are, boy. And yet I wasn't the one who provoked a woman into kicking you into a nearby pole, now was I?

Wolf: Don't get smart with me, Leon.

Leon: You started the smart talk first. Or did that kick caused damage to your memory as well.

Wolf: And people wondered where I got this snarky attitude from. You're a terrible influence.

Leon: You developed that attitude on your own perfectly, boy. And my teachings hasn't gotten you killed yet now, did it?

Panther: He got you there, boss.

Wolf: Shut up, Panther.

Isabelle: ('Sigh') Knock it off already, you guys....

@keyenuta

@cyber-wildcat

@ma-lemons

@caleb13frede

[a-drop-of-nightshade]

“Yeah, there’s a lot that happened and just as much as Alice was sort of my main ward, the others all put their hands in to try and teach me how to survive and fight back, they gave me the skills to survive.” He murmured growing distant for a moment before Lil Shit bumped against him to bring him back to the present, he pet the blobby before looking at her and snorting, he scratched at his beard some, “Don’t remind me, I’ve been meaning to dye it. Not a good look for someone who’s not even thirty.” He grumbled, “Ah well the little shite knows I get swept up enough, she’s messaged me a few times so I’ve spoken with her and said I won’t be back for a while. Least I won’t have to deal with that temper tantrum, and I already know what she’s gonna do when I get back, she really seems to have it out for my balls.” He muttered, “I only got them when I got back.” He grumbled.

However it was then Izzy spoke and his eyes went wide, “Oh shit!” He hissed quickly opening the app and messaging his Izzy they had a code purple and he needed to take out her daddy’s beard immediately. He was quick to pull what looked like a spray can tying his hair up quick he hopped up and moved over to the mirror and sprayed shook the can before slaying his beard, pulling a lighter he lit that shit up and with a sudden sting and a slight flare every last bit of hair was gone, “Fucking Glitch alerts.” He grumbled annoyed before walking over to Cassie and Alice, “When I say this I mean no disrespect but unless you wanna see something that’s worse than the first time just spray and light his beard up it’s safe. Trust me I don’t like it but there ain’t a choice, not even Cin can stop Glitch.” He said passing Cassie the can and lighter, he glanced over at the constellation display watching everyone panic and scramble as the alert hit.

After that he walked back over and sat back down rubbing his now smooth face he pulled a face, his scars were all the more clearer, “Fucking year and a bit working on that one.” He grumbled before looking at her amused as he pulled his hair out again, now he did look a lot younger. “That’s because I am flirting with you. And my Izzy is 12, the only thing she’s jealous of is the floor ate me and she couldn’t Sparta kick me into a hole.” He sighed, seeing her puff her chest out he smiled and gently ruffled her hair, “Keep that pride, because he certainly has pride in you being his mom.”

The first thing he knew was pain, burning pain and then a sudden cold metal floor that made him cry out as he hit it, his head was spinning and he didn’t understand it felt like he’d fallen but… there was something itching in his head and he couldn’t think straight and in the end he just slowly stood up sniffling, his knees and elbows grazed he whimpered as he looked around confused. Everything looked weird and smelt funny, he hiccuped as tears began to fall he was hurting and he stumbled trying to find someone.

However when he saw people he tottered towards them before he stopped and reached up tugging on what he thought was clothing, but it felt weird and he rubbed at his eyes. The person span and the child’s eyes widened in fear as he let out a terrified scream at the sight of the monster, he turned and immediately began to run as fast as he could as the necromorph screeched and began to run after him drawing a few others, in the end the child ran into a destroyed and dark shop and realised it was a dead end he tried to hide in the corner before something came running across the floor at him and he screamed terrified and in pain as he kicked and it sank its teeth into him.

@izzyfromdeadspace

[run-me-through-but-not-like-that]

Something Steady

Summary: Izzy Hands just seems to attract infamous pirates, knowing a side of them that others don't. First Blackbeard, knowing about his melancholies, and then you, knowing your soft heart.

"Having some young blood aboard would be good for morale. Give the lads some motivation, something to look up to, y'know?" Calico Jack continued, no matter how many times you had told him to shut up and make himself scarce. You had lost count at this point.

"Fuck off, Jack. I'm not joining your ghost crew," you grumbled, forehead pressed against the sticky bar top of Spanish Jackie's, your patience running thin.

"Not even as my first mate?" Jack offered, leaning down to try and catch your eye.

"If people think I'm sailing with Captain Rackham, they'll wonder what the fuck happened to me," you scoffed, pushing back on the barstool and sitting up straight.

"C'mon, I thought we were buds," he pouted, feigning a look of hurt, placing his hand against his chest.

"Pirates don't have 'buds'. We just have people we haven't fucked over yet," you reminded him with a roll of the eyes.

"You already fucked me over, remember? I'm being gracious enough to look past it," Jack pointed at you accusingly.

"You're still hung up on that?" you asked sarcastically, smirking a little.

"You turned my crew against me, and you weren't even part of the crew!" he threw up his hands. You wondered if he was going to pull out the 'the owe me' card to try and convince you. It wouldn't work anyway.

"As if it was hard," you rolled your eyes. "Anyway, I've got my own things going on, Calico," you waved him off.

Calico Jack was about to respond with a snarky comment, it probably would have been best for you to have just not engaged him at all when he first slipped up to the bar, but went quiet as he glanced over at the door.

"Oh fuck," he huffed, looking defeated, "not gonna be able to talk you into it now."

Your brows furrowed in confused, Jack wasn't one to accept defeat easily. Following his sulking expression, your gaze landed on Izzy Hands, who was wandering into Spanish Jackie's.

Turning back to Jack, you raised an eyebrow, "got something to say?"

"I've been paying for your drinks and Pretty Izzy is going to walk in here and-" Jack began to complain but you were quick to silence him, driving your blade into the surface of the bar right next to his hand.

Jack stared down at were your blade was embedded in the wood, less than an inch over and you would have taken a finger. "You got a problem with him?" you questioned.

"'course not," Jack huffed.

"Then fuck off, bud," you snarled.

Jack frowned at you for a moment. The two of you hadn't met often but every time you did, Izzy was usually around, and the way your mood could change at the blink of an eye still surprised him.

His expression turned mischievous. "Izzy!" Jack sat up straighter, grinning and waving the shorter man over.

"Jack," Izzy nodded, his greeting short as he approached the two of you.

He was tense, more so than usual. Something was going on with him, and that made you tense as well.

"What the fuck are you doing with him?" Izzy asked, looking to you now.

"I was just trying to enjoy a drink when this sad sack wandered over with job offers," you told him with an annoyed huff, side eyeing Jack.

"Come on!" Jack was frowning again, clearly annoyed with your dismissal.

Izzy turned back to Jack, steeling himself slightly, "Jack, we have business to discuss."

"Do we now?" Jack cocked an eyebrow, turning interested. Leaning back against the bar on his elbows.

"Well that can't be good, what's going on?" your concern only grew. Something was wrong and Izzy was asking Calico Jack for help, it was worse than you thought.

"Must be pretty bad if you're coming to me," Jack mirrored your thoughts.

"It involves Blackbeard," Izzy didn't need to say anymore, it told the two of you enough to know he was being serious.

"Fuck," you muttered.

"He alright?" Jack asked.

"Need to get him back on the Anne, I have a plan. Just need you to-" Izzy's attention was solely on Jack, as if he knew what to expect from you.

"Absolutely fucking not," you downed what was left of your drink and stood from the barstool. Izzy just squinted at you, knowing he couldn't stop you from saying what you had to say and unable to be mad at you for it. "If this is about Blackbeard and you're turning to Calico Jack, you've lost your damn mind. I won't let you do whatever the hell you're planning," you protested.

"You don't even know the plan," Izzy muttered.

"You're not thinking straight, you're going to do something drastic. Something stupid that you can't come back from," you told him, like it was something obvious. For anyone who knew Izzy well enough, it was completely blatant and he knew it.

"Right, 'cause you're always so level headed," Izzy retorted but you just rolled your eyes.

"Relax, Jack can handle it," Jack smirked, always up for a stupid plan. It's the only reason you didn't cut him off completely. If you had a suicide mission in the future, you could rely on Jack to offer his help for cheap.

However, you wouldn't let him help put Izzy in danger. Before the two men could blink, you had your knife out of the bar top and pointed at Jack's crotch.

"Get the fuck outta here, Jack, or I'm taking the whole thing. We all know it's what's most important to you," you threatened. With him, threatening his manhood was far more effective than threatening his life.

Jack opened his mouth to say something but stopped himself. The thing was, he knew that you would do it if he pushed you, you've done it before. And he believed that you would do even right here, in the middle of Jackie's. Who knows, maybe she would start a new jar...

"Fine, whatever, I'll fuck off," Jack agreed, he wasn't completely stupid. "Come find me if you still need a hand, Hands," he shot Izzy a wink, clearly finding himself hilarious.

"I'll come scrape you off the floor of whatever shithole you end up in," Izzy promised sarcastically.

Calico Jack rolled his eyes but took his leave, feeling your glare on his back until he was out of sight.

"Right, you're up to something dumb, I'm getting us drinks," you huffed, sounding a little exasperated but far more fond.

You got two drinks and corralled him over to a table at the back of the room so you could speak privately.

"What decent type of plan involves Jack?" you asked, your judgment palpable.

"Just needed him to get Edward off of the ship," Izzy huffed, well aware that going to Calico Jack for help was not a good sign but he didn't need you to rub it in his face.

"Alright, start from the beginning. Something is wrong, I can tell. What's going on?" your expression softened slightly, your real concern shining through. You had told him that seeking out Jack was stupid and now you were ready to just help him out.

After taking a generous drink, Izzy told you everything about Edward's recent boredom, Bonnet and Revenge, and everything he put up with on that ship. You listened intently, not interrupting, as he told you about his duel with Bonnet and his own banishment from the ship. You had to bite down on your tongue to stop yourself from asking why Edward hadn't stopped it.

Then he told you about his new plan to sell Bonnet to the British while getting Edward away to safety.

As he finished his little tale, you nodded slowly. "Oh, okay. So, you have lost your mind," you concluded.

"Fuck off," Izzy scoffed.

"You want to work with the British?" you questioned, not giving him time to answer. "You hate the British. You hate the British even more than I do. I wouldn't piss on them if they were on fire, and you want to give them Bonnet?"

"It's not about the British, it's about keeping Edward and what remains of our crew alive," Izzy defended himself. He didn't like involving the crown anymore than you did, but one of their officers would pay good money for Bonnet's head.

"Look, if this is what you want to do, fine. You know I'll be there by your side when you do it to make sure you don't get yourself killed, but...it's a terrible idea," you told him. "But seriously, Edward just let you leave, didn't even argue. And he could, he's Blackbeard, he could have said 'uh no, my first mate stays', but he didn't. And you want to save his ass? I'd kill him," you asked, wishing you knew what was going through Edward head as he allowed Izzy to leave the ship.

"You are not going to kill Edward," Izzy said sternly.

"Uh, yes I am. He might not stand up for you but I'll slit his throat for treating you like that," you told him, as if you hadn't made that clear during your time knowing each other.

"Just have to get Bonnet out of the way and we'll be back to normal. He has Edward's mind all twisted," Izzy shook his head, not wanting you to get involved in a way that puts you or Edward in danger.

"Edward's mind has been 'twisted' for a while. You go through with this plan, with the goddamn British, I'll come with you but I'm killing Edward first chance I get," you shrugged. He can kill Bonnet or get him killed, same thing, but you would kill Edward.

"You are not killing Edward!"

"I'll give it my best shot, at least get a good maiming in."

"Not going to happen."

"Then let's make a deal," you suggested, "you don't sell anyone to the British like a fucking traitorous bastard, and I won't kill your precious captain."

Izzy sighed, dragging a hand over his face. "What is your problem with Ed?"

"Didn't have a problem at first, respected him. He's Blackbeard. Don't like how he's been treating you though, especially after everything you just said about the Revenge," you told him simply. Personally, you had nothing about the man but nobody, not even Blackbeard, gets away with harming your Izzy in any way, shape, or form.

"Don't know what the fuck happened to us," Izzy confessed with a tired sigh.

You frowned a little, feeling genuinely sympathetic for him. Edward was his close friend, perhaps the only person he would consider a friend, and he felt tossed to the side.

"Let's sail together, Iz. We could be fucking legends, rule the fucking seas!" you grinned, putting excitement into your voice in an attempt to get some optimism in the grumpy first mate.

"We don't do this to rule anything. We do it to survive," Izzy muttered, shaking his head at you.

"Easy for you to say. You've already done it," you huffed, "you and Edward created Blackbeard, you've already owned the sea. Not my fault you didn't take advantage of it."

Izzy rolled his eyes, probably thankful for the slightly change of topic. "I'm guessing Calico Jack was sniffing about asking you to be his first mate?" he asked, having heard that Jack was trying to put together another crew.

"Man doesn't know how to take no for an answer. I'm not going to work for that drunk. Even I couldn't make him the next Blackbeard," you scoffed.

"Legends aren't always what they seem to be," Izzy sighed with the weight of experience.

"Yeah, that's why you're considering working with the fucking crown to make sure Edward remains Blackbeard. Because legends don't matter."

"Bonnet is going to get him killed. Get all of us killed, we've already lost some good men."

"We're fucking pirates. We get killed," you muttered in that way you did when you didn't believe or didn't like what you were saying.

"Can at least try to prolong it. I've survived this long, not going to die because of Stede fucking Bonnet," the hatred he held for this Bonnet was clear enough, you couldn't doubt it for a moment. Then his expression softened slightly, letting out a small sigh. "Look, I get it. I'm old salt, I've done all that shit, now I just want to keep seeing the days come and go, but I've been there. You reminded me of Ed when I met him. Relentless, unstoppable. When he first became Blackbeard, that fire in his eyes. I see it in you. Even Ed has tired of being Blackbeard, has begun resenting the legend we built. I know the importance of it but...just find something fucking steady," he advised.

You thought over his words for a moment, wondering if he thought the Queen Anne was something steady and then Bonnet and the Revenge came along.

"Ain't nothing steady in this life," you mumbled into your mug.

"I don't know, you've been pretty constant to me," Izzy shrugged, making you smile a little to yourself.

"Yeah...yeah, guess you're constant. Kinda steady. Always reliable," you agreed, placing your drink down.

"If all you want is to build a legend, grow tired and bitter when that's all you have left, than fine. Just want you to learn from my mistakes," you wished he didn't sound so sincere, then you could have just scoffed and waved him off. But Izzy was always sincere with you, wasn't it? Always let you be safe to be sincere with him.

"What other option do I have, Iz? Never cared for legends but I've learnt that it keeps you alive. It's kept you and Ed safe, you've said so yourself. People think you're untouchable, so they don't even try," you sighed, running a hand over your hair.

"People already know who you are and I don't believe your name will die with you. Just know how to choose your battles," Izzy nodded slightly, understanding your point of view. It was about survival.

"And if I wanted to find something steady, where the fuck would you suggest searching for it?" you asked, meeting his tired gaze.

"You're right about the crown, it's a stupid idea. Bonnet has been...unbelievably lucking since taking to sea and Edwards a goddamn genius, they'll manage to turn it against me. I'm going to go back to the Queen Anne, try to make amends with Edward, maybe return to the Revenge if he asks me too. You could come with me," Izzy decided, offering you a place by his side, and how in the world could you refuse that?

-

The two of you did arrive on the Queen Anne, Izzy being welcomed back by the crew he was so familiar with and nobody questioned him when he said you would be joining them. They just demanded to hear some stories from you that night over drinks.

The Anne had a fine crew. Yeah, they were the usual rough and tumble lot that usually occupied ships but they were pirates, after all. However, they weren't cruel or overly violent among themselves even if their bloodlust for a new raid was more than obvious.

You got along with the crew just fine, only getting into an altercation with one of them when they made a comment about you practically being attached to Izzy's hip. They didn't bother you about it after that.

It was a couple of months later when they got word from the Revenge, Blackbeard sending for his first mate to join them again.

You had given Izzy a look as he read the letter, one that was clearly not in Edward's hand since he didn't know how to write, and Izzy had been quick to dissuade you.

"You're not fucking killing him."

"I won't!" you insisted defensively. "As long as he's good to you, Iz," you added quietly with a playful smirk.

Izzy had just sighed and shook his head at you. He couldn't talk you out of it, he knew that, but he could hold you back when you decided to lunge at somebody.

He didn't even consider not taking you to the Revenge with him.

-

The two ships anchored beside each other, allowing Izzy and you to disembark the Queen Anne and step foot aboard the Revenge. The crew of the Revenge were up on the deck, as were the two captain. It was their responsibility to welcome the first mate back, after all.

"What's this, Iz?" Edward asked, striding towards his first mate, eyeing you. You just gave him a smile, knowing it would be getting under his skin.

"Picked them up at Jackie's, they signed up," Izzy explained, omitting certain details.

"They signed up?" Edward asked, obviously suspicious. He was still watching you instead of Izzy.

"I got offered a position and I took it," you shrugged, "I'd be happy to discuss it with the captain, or...captains."

Edward looked at Izzy, the two of them sharing some sort of silent conversation. "Fine. Fuck, fine. Best behaviour though, we're doing things differently here, okay?" he pointed at you, a threat in his eyes, but still agreed to letting you stay.

"Did they used to work for you, Ed?" Bonnet asked curiously, joining the four of you as the crew watched on.

"God no," Edward said at the same time you said, "fuck no."

Edward glared at you for that response. "Must have fell onto some hard times, looking for a new crew at Jackie's," he hummed but you didn't take the bait.

"I wasn't looking for a crew, I was looking for a drink. I just so happened to get a couple of offers while I was there," you rolled your eyes.

"What are you up to then?" Edward asked, seemingly hoping to catch you out.

"Not that it's any of your concern, I have some things happening. Good men, better deals. Don't have to worry about me," you assured him with a tense smile.

"Then why would you join a crew?" Edward squinted suspiciously at you. Either you were lying, or you were up to something. Surely.

"Because Iz offered my the position," you shrugged, like it's obvious.

Annoyingly, it was obvious, and Edward truly believed that you only took the job because it was Izzy offering it. You always had been weird about him.

Edward was used to some hero worship, being Blackbeard and all. He knew that people respected Izzy as well, he had earnt it over the years, but you worshiped no legend. Blackbeard might have as well been a washed up corpse for all you cared, at least when he was stood beside his first mate. Izzy though, whatever you thought about him was something completely different.

Izzy was Edward's friend, they clearly have some things to work on but they have been mates for a long time. Of course, Edward believes that Izzy deserves respect and acknowledgement but whatever it was that you had going on, he didn't understand.

"Will they be staying, Ed?" Stede asked, seeming to pick up on the tension between the three of you.

Edward took a breath, looking between you and Izzy before coming to his final decision. "Yeah, guess so. We'll see how it goes," he nodded.

Stede nodded in understanding before turning his attention you, smiling politely. "And you are?" the co-captain asked.

"Y/n L/n," you introduced your self with a nod.

"Wait, The Y/n L/n?" Black Pete spoke up, eyes widening slightly. Now that he thought about it, you did match some of the descriptions he had heard. The more realistic ones, of course.

"The very same," you nodded.

"Holy shit, babe...the actual Y/n L/n," Pete leant towards his boyfriend, attempting to whisper but his words carrying across the deck.

"Babe, I don't know who that is," Lucius whispered back, at a loss as to what is going on. Only knowing that clearly, you, Izzy and Edward knew each other some how.

"Is it true you torched Captain Low's ship?" Pete asked, ignoring the tension that Lucius was aware of.

"Yeah, he was being an asshole. Plus, he didn't think I would, so I had to prove him wrong," you told him with a small shrug, that was a while ago now.

"That was fucking stupid, he was so pissed," Izzy chastised you under his breath. He remembered hearing about that a couple months after it happened.

"But you should have seen his face when he saw the fire," you grinned at him, "plus, the fucker had a fleet. He won't miss one ship."

"It was his favourite ship," Edward hummed.

"And now it's not," you shrugged, not caring much if you had upset Low. He would get over it.

"And you're probably at the top of Low's shit list," Izzy added.

"Oh no, whatever will I do?" you asked sarcastically. "Let him come for me, this time I'll take his ship for myself, start a cute little fleet," you joked, at least partially.

Normally Izzy would comment on the arrogance but, well, so far any arrogance you had displayed had turned out to be justified. If you said you were going to do something, you did it. Izzy knew that Edward hated that as well, as if they hadn't been the exact same way.

-

A couple days aboard the Revenge passed and you had settled into Izzy's cabin, once he got it back to the way he once had it anyway. You were slowly beginning to get to know the crew, Pete and Roach being the most eager to hear some stories from you.

"Spriggs!" Izzy's voice rang across the deck, making you turn and watch on curiously. "What do you think you're doing?"

"Uh...supervising?" Lucius answered, sounding unsure. The scribe was leaning against the railing, next to the propped up mop. A mop, he should have been dragging over the deck like The Swede was.

"Get to swabbing the deck," Izzy ordered.

"Well, actually, Iggy, that's not my job," Lucius huffed, folding his arms over his chest and cocking his hip out slightly.

You were crossing the deck as soon as you heard, "Ig-"

"It's your job if-" Izzy began but you were already on it.

"What the fuck did he just call you?" you asked, appearing out of nowhere. Your question was directed at Izzy but you stared right at Lucius.

Izzy sighed slightly to himself. He should have known you were lingering around somewhere, and he definitely knew you would have come running at the first sign of disrespect. "Leave it," he told you.

"Iggy? Was that is, man?" you raised an eyebrow at Lucius.

"Just...just what we call him sometimes," Lucius replied nervously, unsure of what to say or where to look. He didn't get effected by Izzy's threats anymore, knowing they were empty. Blackbeard wouldn't let him harm any of the crew. You, though, were a different story. You had made it clear that you didn't care much for what Blackbeard would prefer. Lucius couldn't trust that you wouldn't make good on any threats you made.

"Right and Blackbeard lets that blatant disrespect slide?" you asked.

"No corporal punishment anymore," Izzy informed you.

"Not even when they actually deserve it?" you looked to him, face scrunching up in confusion. Izzy just shook his head. "Docking pay? Halving rations?" you asked.

"Bonnet wouldn't like it," Izzy said as if that was enough of an explanation.

Taking your brief moment of being distracted, Lucius tried to slip away but you saw the movement out of the corner of your eye.

"Scribe, your first mate did not dismiss you," you pinned him in place again with a glare.

"You aren't even my superior!" Lucius huffed indigently.

"No, but I also don't care if I upset Bonnet or Blackbeard," you told him, confirming his concerns. "It's not punishment if another member of the crew just so happens to feel you deserve a stabbing," and there was the threat.

Lucius' eyes widened as he looked between you and Izzy. He couldn't believe he was relying on Izzy to help him out of this. Seriously, of all people!

Izzy wasn't much happier about it either.

"Alright, that's enough," Izzy broke it up. "Spriggs, do something fucking useful. You, come with me, I've got a job for you," he shot Lucius a look that told him not to argue and nudged your shoulder to get your attention.

"Yes sir," you nodded, making sure to send Lucius a glare before following Izzy down into the ship.

"They all call you shit like that?" you asked once the two of you were alone in the passageways of the ship.

"Yeah, sometimes. It doesn't matter," Izzy shrugged, seeming resigned to it.

"Edward is your captain and your friend, does he know?" you asked but Izzy just shrugged. "If you told him, do you think he would do anything about it?" Surely he would, right?

"Nah, probably just say they were messing around. He wouldn't want to upset Bonnet," Izzy was assuming but he definitely sounded like he believed it.

"Well, that's bullshit," you scoffed, feeling that familiar protective anger bubbling up in your chest. "I get it, you can't disobey your captain. I'll handle it for you," you assured him.

"Absolutely not. You're supposed to be staying out of trouble," Izzy warned, coming to a halt and grabbing you by the arm.

"Oh, so they can all take the piss but I have to bite my tongue?" you asked with a huff.

"You aren't biting your tongue," Izzy deadpanned. You hadn't held your tongue since you board the ship, made it clear to Edward that you weren't currently his biggest fan, made Lucius aware that you were willing to draw blood should you think he deserves it. "Just no killing or maiming," he conceded. As long as you kept your blades to yourself, he could make sure the captains didn't get too upset with you.

"What sort of pirate ship is this?" you muttered. You had raided merchant ships more like pirates than this lot.

"I ask myself that everything goddamn day I spend here," Izzy muttered right back, releasing your arm and continuing your journey through the ship.

-

You ate most of your meals with Izzy, either in the galley after the crew ate or in his cabin. Today though, you were eating dinner with the crew. You sat at the end of the bench, your attention more focused on your food than the conversations taking place.

Admittedly, you hadn't made much of an effort to integrate yourself with the crew and you knew that anything they thought of you was more based on stories than anything. Though, you were self aware enough to know that threatening the scribe didn't exactly make you popular.

Frenchie was sitting opposite you, pushing his food around his place and shifting nervously. You could feel the way he kept glancing at you.

With a heavy sigh you lifted your head and looked over at him, only for him to advert his face. "What?" you demanded.

"Uh...nothing?" Frenchie shifted again, staring down at his food.

"You don't sound too sure about that," you encouraged, leaning towards him slightly.

Wee John nudged him encouragingly, the two men sharing a look, some sort of silent argument before Frenchie sighed and looked at you again. "Is it true?" Frenchie asked.

"Is what true?" you cocked an eyebrow.

Frenchie shifted again. "That...that you ate a guy?"

In an instant, your gaze darkened, making Frenchie fidget with his hands.

"I heard you just showed up in a cloud of smoke and fire one day, like a demon," Wee John added, recalling one of the tales that Black Pete had told him.

"Are you a witch?" Frenchie asked, eyes widening in concern.

"For fucks sake!" you snapped, slamming your fist down on the table.

Everyone at the table went silent and still, Jim watching you carefully, obviously ready to attack or intervene if needed.

"People are so fucking stupid and-" you began to seethe, fingers twitching to reach for your dagger, but you paused when you saw the look on Frenchie's face.

It was clear that he wasn't taking the piss. He wasn't smirking, his eyes weren't glinting with sadistic excitement. He looked worried, downright afraid.

You took a breath, soothing yourself. "...you really believe all that stuff?" you asked, voice softening surprisingly. The crew weren't sure if that should be comforting or worrying. Frenchie nodded, still looking nervous. This time your gaze softened. "Alright look, Frenchie. People make stuff up. Blackbeard, yeah? He doesn't really have smoke for a head or glowing eyes, does he?"

"No, guess not..." Frenchie nodded slowly, understanding what you were trying to say.

"I'm not a demon or a fucking witch, just a goddamn pirate, yeah?" you sighed and he nodded again, more sure this time.

"And did you...y'know..." Frenchie began to ask vaguely, still clearly nervous about something.

"Eat a guy?" Wee John asked more bluntly.

"No!" you huffed, frustration quickly seeping back in. You took a moment to look around the table, seeing that everyone was watching carefully.

"I was on a raid, I was still just starting out. I got over powered, pinned to the deck with no weapons on me. In moments like that you do whatever you have to do, you know? Act on instinct more than anything. So, yeah, I bit him. Tore his fucking throat out. But I didn't fucking eat it," you told them the true story, the one that had started that godawful rumour.

The crew nodded but didn't speak, seeing that this rumour seemed to bother you.

"But rumours grow and you have no control of it. When everything died down, there I was with blood all over my face and a guy with a chunk taken from his throat. Some of the lads started telling tales," you shrugged, "I corrected them at first but people will believe what they want. I hate that goddamn rumour but...it make people afraid of me, and that's best for my survival. Eventually stopped correcting them."

"Why, uh...why explain it to us then?" Oluwande asked and it was a fair question.

"You guys are shit pirates, not worried about it," you smirked a little, attempting some playfulness with them. You turned back to Frenchie with a more sincere look. "You don't have to be afraid of me," you assured him before looking over the crew one more time. "Unless your a dick to me or the people I care about. Then, yeah, you have a reason to worry," you warned, only partly playful.

"Are you going to kill Izzy, then?" The Swede asked, the question sounding genuine.

"Excuse me?" you turned to him, your tone and expression darkening again.

"Well, uh...he's a dick," Black Pete stated, even when Lucius elbowed him in the ribs.

"He falls into the 'people I care about' category," you explained simply. Pete when to say something else but quickly thought better of it and shut his mouth, not wanting to put himself on your back side. "Understood?" you asked, looking around the table.

Everyone nodded, some slowly and some more frantic.

You nodded in return before turning back to your meal, finishing eating before leaving the galley.

-

You were up on deck, checking the knots in the rigging, when you noticed Izzy and Lucius speaking. Retying a weak knot, you watch the two men.

Lucius was speaking with a smirk and Izzy looked annoyed, his anger clearly growing by the second. Finishing up the knot, you turned away from the rigging and walked over to the two of them.

"Really, Iz? You sure you don't want to be sketched?" Lucius asked, leering at the older man.

You frowned, knowing what he was talking about. You had walked in on him sketching Wee John and Izzy had told you about the time he walked in on him sketching Fang.

"What the fuck?" Lucius squeaked when he felt a cool blade touch his throat.

"He say no?" you asked lowly, pressing the blade a little closer against his skin, making him lean back to avoid it.

"I, uh...I mean..." Lucius stuttered.

You rolled your eyes, looking at Izzy instead. "You turn his offer down, Iz?"

"Fucking obviously," Izzy sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"There you go," you turned your attention back to Lucius, "he said no, fuck off."

"Maybe...maybe take the knife away first?" Lucius suggested, trying to sound casual but his nerves making his voice tremble.

"Work around it," you sneered.

"You really need to start watching yourself, Spriggs," Izzy warned and Lucius nodded, the best he could without nicking himself on the blade anyway. "Alright, with me," he looked over Lucius' shoulder, meeting your gaze.

You nodded, pressing the blade a little harsher against Lucius' throat before pulling it away completely, letting him scramble away.

Waiting until the scribe was out of sight, you followed Izzy down into the ship, not speaking until you reached his cabin.

"The boy is trying to get himself killed," you huffed as you closed the cabin door behind you.

"Give it long enough, even he'll learn," Izzy assured you. The crew hadn't been the best at learning things since he and Edward arrived but Izzy just assumed that was because they were lazy, they would learn what not to do if their lives depended on it. Surely...

"They don't respect you," you said, the corner of your mouth turning up in a slight snarl.

"Obviously," Izzy sighed.

"Deserve better than that, Iz."

Izzy didn't think he would ever quite get used to that, the way your entire demeanour would soften when it was only him around. After his first meeting with you, he never would have thought you could show so much softness. But after you gave him that first glimpse of it, Izzy knew he wanted to see it again, wanted to fucking nurture it and give you a space to be soft. To be soft with him.

"It doesn't matter," Izzy insisted, aware of how tired he sounded. "What about you, you alright here?" he asked. So far you hadn't had many complaints about the crew, no complaints that weren't about the way they treated him at least.

"Yeah, it's not too bad. I am close to killing Lucius though, needs to leave you the fuck alone," you muttered, nose turning up at the mere thought of the scribe.

"Jealous?" Izzy teased, raising an eyebrow at you.

"Of him? He's not your type," you chuckled, slipping your arms around his waist. His arms wrapped around you as you let out a sight, just melting into his embrace.

After pressing a kiss to his jaw, the two of you kicked off your boots and fell down onto the cot. Admittedly, Izzy felt drained by the crew and he appreciated having you around and coming to his defence.

As naturally as ever, the two of you cuddled up together, both of you needing to relax.

"My offer still stands by the way, we could sail together, you and me," you murmured into his neck, running your fingers through his hair and listening to his soft sigh.

"Would need a ship to start with," Izzy mused, as if he were even humouring the offer.

"I have a ship," you shrugged lightly, not enough to disturb either of you.

"Fuck off," Izzy laughed, his chest vibrating with it.

"I do," you insisted, lifting your head up to meet his gaze.

Izzy's amused little smile faded and his brows furrowed. "You're being serious?"

"Yeah. You think I was sitting around Jackie's looking for a crew? I already had one, got my best woman running it at the moment," you told him, like it was nothing.

"You're the captain?" Izzy asked, sitting up, making you fall down against the mattress.

"Yeah, don't get mutinied against like Jack," you huffed, pushing yourself up to sit beside him.

"Why the fuck are you here then?!" Izzy asked, looking at you like you had lost your mind.

"Because you asked me," you answered simply, nothing but sincere.

"Fucking hell," Izzy groaned, running a hand through his hair. "Imagine if everyone knew how soft you actually are," he hummed fondly.

"Only for you," you remined him with a smile. "Anyway, you talking about me being soft. As if you didn't ask me to come with you in some attempt to save my soul," you joked, kneeling behind him and wrapping your arms around him.

"Eh, all of our souls are already damned."

You chuckled, resting your chin on his shoulder as he lent back into you.

"You wanted me to have something nice though," you nuzzled your nose against his jaw.

"Yeah, guess so," Izzy confessed.

"Well, I've got something nice," you smirked as you gave his waist a squeeze, already feeling his skin heating up.

"Don't," Izzy groaned.

"I've got you," you pressed a kiss to his neck, laughing lightly at the way his neck and face turned red.

"I'm not nice," Izzy protested, but didn't make any effort to move away from you.

"You're nice to me. Nicest thing I could ask for," you continued, peppering kisses to the nape of his neck.

"Fucking hell, you're a sap," Izzy muttered, unable to mask his fondness.

"It's our little secret," you whispered against flushed skin.

"Your crew isn't going to raid us in the middle of the night, are they?" Izzy asked, letting himself be manoeuvred to lay down beside you again.

"Nah, as long as your crew behave," you teased, making yourself comfortable as Izzy rested his head against your shoulder, "will have to meet up with them eventually, though. They're a good crew, they're loyal, but a captain being absent for too long breeds mutiny."

"What if they're already planning it?" Izzy asked, partly teasing but partly concerned.

"I'll go back, make an example of somebody, get everything in order. Don't you worry about it," you waved off his worry. You had a handle on it.

"When you plan on leaving?" Izzy asked after a moment of silence.

"Not yet, but you could come with me when I do," you suggested. Izzy just sighed. "It's alright, you don't need to answer," you whispered, combing fingers through his hair, "I'm good here for now, anyway."

"Going to take that risk for some old sons of bitches like us?" Izzy asked, arm tightening around you.

"We're pirates, we do whatever we want, isn't that part of the point? I want to be here with you, so that's what I'll do," you brought your hand down to his jaw, thumb stroking over his cheek.

Izzy just nodded, turning his head to kiss your palm before settling back down. Who knows, you're making life on the Revenge more bearable so maybe he would accompany you to check in on your crew. Surely, the captains would grant him some leave for a week or two...

[izzy-b-hands]

Steddyhands with a focus on stizzy, in which Izzy gives Stede his first tattoo, and Ed returns home with that and more to admire.

TW for some light descriptions of tattooing, and mention of the blood and fluids that come with that.

---

"Take a breath."

"I did!"

Izzy chuckled. "Yeah, because I told you to. We can take a bre-"

"No, absolutely not," Stede interrupted. "It's one tattoo; I can handle it!"

"Ed's going to be shocked when he gets back and sees this," Izzy said. "Unless you told him already?"

"No, it's a surprise," Stede replied. "You don't think he'll be upset he wasn't here for it, do you?"

"Nah, besides, once you have one you almost always want more," Izzy said. " So he can always be around for another one I do for you. Next bit is an awkward angle, so I can have you move, or I move around you as needed."

"I'm good where I am if you don't mind my staying put."

"Let me show you where I need to be first, just in case you want to go the other way," Izzy said.

He moved from Stede's side to standing over him, in front of his head. With Stede laying down, partial small backpiece nearly done, it put his face right near Izzy's waist.

"I'm good," Stede reiterated, though admittedly he was very aware of how close Izzy was, the warmth coming off of him, the scent of some sort of cologne? He couldn't recall if he'd ever been close enough to Izzy to notice if he'd worn it before.

"Alright, remember to keep breathing this time, just gentle and slow," Izzy instructed.

Stede winced at the needle poking in again, on what was feeling like rather raw meat on his back, but he didn't move.

"Good boy," Izzy murmured, still working away.

Stede felt his face go red. He hadn't expected this to awaken anything in him, but then again...

"Ooh, sorry, sorry," Izzy said softly as Stede shook after an extra tender poke.

Izzy's hand rested on his shoulder for a moment, and Stede had to remind himself to breathe for a reason other than the pain.

"Sure you want to keep going?"

"How much is left?"

Izzy helped him stand, and walked him to the floor length mirror they'd stolen a week back, now set up in the captains' quarters. "Just a bit at the top there, see? This line here, and this one. Little bit of shading by that one."

Stede nodded. "I can do it."

Izzy helped him back to the canvas covered desk. "You can still tap out after this if you need. Don't be like Jack and pass out on me trying to be tough."

"That is such a Jack thing."

"It is."

Izzy took his place again near Stede's head, and Stede steeled himself for the last pains.

The first few were noticeable, but numbed after a moment. Then, on one of the last lines, he couldn't help himself from reaching and grabbing Izzy's leg.

"Bonnet," Izzy said gently. "I know you want this done before Ed gets back tonight. But it's a bold choice for a first tattoo, and there's no harm in finishing it after a week or two. Let it heal a little."

"I can do it," Stede said. "Ed could handle all his tattoos; I can handle one."

Izzy chuckled. "Okay, fine. Going to keep hanging onto me?"

"If that's alright."

"Absolutely."

He let his forehead press gently into Izzy's stomach, a hand still grasping the worn leather of his trousers, right at his lower thigh. And he did his best to breathe.

"Good boy, nearly done," Izzy murmured as he worked. "Never would have expected this of you, by our first meeting. Look at you now, though."

Stede nodded, and couldn't hold back a small whine.

"I know, but we've just got those bits of shading, little dots and then you're done," Izzy soothed.

His free hand reached down and patted Stede's at his thigh, then he kept on.

"Make noise if you need to; I don't care," Izzy said. "Jack yelled up a storm every time he got one done, so you can't do as bad as he did."

He meant to stay completely silent, even though the second 'good boy' had left him half hard and accepting he maybe had discovered something new about himself.

Then the needle poked again, and he moaned before he could stop himself.

"Ah, you and Ed have something else in common," Izzy said. "Well, and myself. And quite a few others actually, oddly common a kink it seems, among pirates."

Stede grasped harder at Izzy's thigh. He had no words, not at the moment. Between the pain of the tattoo and the friction of his clothed cock against the desk, he couldn't focus on speaking.

"And, there we are," Izzy said. "Take as much time as you need before you move too much. Don't want you passing out on me now either."

He begrudgingly let go of Izzy, and sat up once he'd moved away.

Izzy stepped in front of him, and a cool cloth touched his forehead. "Here. If you were Jack, I'd care less. But-"

He cut Izzy off with a kiss, then another.

Izzy set the cloth down as they broke apart, only to take Stede's face in his hands and pull him in for another kiss.

"I'd planned to help put away the supplies first, but that can wait."

They looked to the door, where Ed was grinning.

"Here, let me clean it up first before you show it off," Izzy said, moving to grab a soft cloth.

"Show what off?" Ed asked as he walked in. "I thought I just saw the show."

Stede blushed. "Did you like it?"

"I did," Ed replied, and leaned in for a kiss.

Stede felt Izzy's hand at his back, gently wiping away the blood and whatever else was cool and threatening to dry on his skin.

Then, he stood and turned for Ed.

"Fuck me," Ed breathed. "This is your first one. You did this for your first?"

"That's the Gentleman Pirate for you, bold as ever," Izzy smiled. "Eventually we'll have his back covered; he wants you to do the next bit."

"In a while," Stede noted. "Should probably let this heal first."

"It's gorgeous," Ed said. "We'll make sure it's well healed before I take a crack at more. Well done, both of you."

"All I did was lay there," Stede chuckled, and let Ed chat with Izzy about the rest of the design, while he admired his back in the mirror.

The lighthouse in the middle of his upper back, from the design he'd asked Mary to draw up and send to them, was perfect. And despite the ache, he found Izzy was right; he already did want more.

[enchanting-eloquence]

New traditions (Bradley Bradshaw x Jake Seresin)

Summary: Jake has good reason to hate the holidays. But on their first solo Christmas together, Bradley is determined to change that. But has he gone too far, or can he open Jake up to some traditions of their own?

3.6k words

Author notes: Here's my first entry for Dicked Down December, which comes with a big thank you to the lovely @dickeddowndecember both for getting me writing again and for being so damned patient and understanding when my head was not in the game! You're wonderful Izzy, thank you ❤️ This is my first time writing slash in a looong time so please go gently. And it goes without saying that minors, this is NOT for you.

Warnings: So much smut, so much fluff, and some angst for good measure! M/M sex, anal sex, blow jobs, hand jobs, tears, a little spit play

New Traditions

Closing the oven door, Bradley swiped a flour-covered hand across his forehead and stepped back to survey the scene.

Cookies baking according to his mother’s old recipe, decorations placed – tastefully he thought – in every room of the house, and Christmas tunes playing softly from the speaker system. It would be their first Christmas alone together and Bradley was determined to make it perfect – especially since Christmas Eve would be Jake’s first night home in almost a month.

Walking from room to room with his keen eyes trained on the details he knew Jake would never miss, Bradley satisfied himself that everything was in place before heading upstairs to shower and dress in the Hawaiian patterned pjs he’d purchased himself earlier that month. He’d thought about buying them a matching set – what could be cuter than Christmas his & his pjs?! Then he’d seen these – a design that reminded him so much of his father it made him want to burst – and hadn’t been able to resist, despite knowing that Jake would rather be caught without a parachute at 2,000 feet than put anything with a surfing Santa onto that gorgeous body. Begrudgingly he’d bought a second, less cheerful set in plain red which now sat on his boyfriend’s side of the fir green bedding, waiting to surprise him when he came home.

As if on command, a car door slammed outside and Bradley glanced up, cursing himself that he hadn’t made time to light a fire or the many candles placed around the living room before Jake arrived. He did have time though to pause and glance out of the window, appreciating the broad shoulders as they hoisted a pack out of the trunk, and the way his sharp jaw set as the last of the Californian winter sunlight glanced off Jake’s aviators. There was no denying it was enough to make a man drool.

Grabbing a Santa hat from the dresser, Bradley raced downstairs, taking them two at a time so he was already leaning on the door frame to the hallway by the time the front door opened, and Jake stepped inside, all graceful long limbs and sharp, strong features. His eyes went first to Bradley, as they always did – one of the things that had first made Bradley wonder if maybe his feelings for the other pilot were reciprocated after all – but then quickly darted away to the garlands and lights that hung from each wall.

“What, did Santa vomit in here?”

Bradley went to laugh, but when Jake’s eyes snapped back to him with the hard-edged glint he remembered from their early meetings, the laugh dropped away. “It’s our first solo Christmas Eve, I thought we should celebrate.”

Whole body tense, Jake’s lips bared moved as he replied. “You know how I feel about Christmas.”

“I do, but things are different now. We can make our own traditions.” Stepping forward he reached out a hand, but Jake only stepped back and out of his reach.

“Yeah great, I’ve been away for a month and the first thing I come home to is some Christmas tradition bullshit and a house full of sparkly shit. Great, thanks Rooster.”

Rooster flushed. “OK, the decorations might be a little much but come on Jake, it’s Christmas… I’m not going to spend the rest of my life drinking beer and eating Chinese food for the holidays.”

The other man laughed, but it wasn’t the sound Bradley had missed over recent weeks. “Of course you aren’t. Because what I want doesn’t matter right? Sounds about right.”

“Hold on there Cowboy, it’s not like I’ve signed us up for carols and sleigh rides. There’s just movies, a tree,” in the next room the oven began to chirp. “And cookies.”

Jake raised an eyebrow and for a moment Bradley thought he’d won him over, but it was only a split second until the steely mask was back. “Oh great, he’s been baking. Welcome home Jakey, how’s about some food poisoning for Christmas?”

Folding his arms across his chest, Bradley raised an eyebrow but said nothing.

Jake only laughed again and pursed his lips as he pushed past his boyfriend and headed upstairs. “Well thanks for the offer slugger, but I might just head up for a shower and leave you to your shitty Christmas cookies.”

As he strode up the stairs, he heard Bradley’s quiet response behind him. “They’re chocolate chip, and they’re my mom’s recipe.”

Any spark of genuine rage that had been burning within Jake Seresin fizzled out at the sound of his fiancé’s voice and he silently cursed himself for being such a douche. Christmas had been a bone of contention ever since the two of them had gotten together; the holidays had been a big deal in the Bradshaw house and held so many of Bradley’s happiest memories. And if Jake really thought about it, there were vaguely memories of joy and laughter tucked away in his brain too. But they were deeply buried behind those of shouting and fear, and of the year his dad had determinedly told him that no son of his would bring a boyfriend home for Christmas, even as his mother had sobbed silently next to him.

As he showered he thought about his and Bradley’s first two Christmases together; days spent surrounded by the dagger squad in a bubble of laughter, games, Chinese food and whisky, loud enough that he could’ve forgotten it was even Christmas, had it not been for Bradley’s determination to wear the wildest Christmas sweater possible and gather everyone else round the piano for a rousing rendition of Santa Claus is Coming to Town before Secret Santa began.

He sighed and towelled off as he padded back to the bedroom and spotted the soft silk pyjamas lying on his pillow.

*************

The decorations, the cookies, even just the expectations – Bradley knew it had been a lot, and maybe too much. But it was Christmas dammit, and they couldn’t spend the rest of their lives drowning the holidays out. He took a sip of his cocoa and flopped onto the sofa, long legs stretched out beside him as he took a bite from one the cookies. Damn they were good, his mom would have been proud even if Jake weren’t.

He heard the footsteps on the stairs and the door open slightly, but refused to turn around, staring ahead until the glow of the open fire became a dancing haze that filled his vision.

“Honey I’m sorry.”

Jake moved in front of the sofa and crouched down, bringing a finger to Bradley’s chin. He was wearing the pyjamas, he noticed, and for that alone, Bradley met his eyes with a brief smile. But he said nothing, even as Jake lifted his legs and moved to sit, curling against Bradley’s body as he pulled the taller man’s legs across himself.

“Christmas for me wasn’t like it was for you. It wasn’t,” he waved a hand and breathed out a laugh, “Merry.” He paused, and the voice that began again was much rougher, cracking before he made it through the sentence. “And then when my dad…”

Putting down the mug, Bradley pulled Jake closer and touched a soft kiss to his lips before pulling the blond head down to his chest.

“Babe I know. It’s a rough time.”

“Do you think about them at Christmas?” Jake asked, closing his eyes as much to avoid the hideous surfing Santas as to focus on the warmth of Bradley’s body against him and the depth of his voice as he spoke.

“Every year. They loved this time of year, and even after my dad died mom and Mav would do everything they could to make Christmas magic.” He paused, “I guess that’s why I still do so much – they worked so hard to stop it feeling sad and I want that too, you know?”

When there was no answer, he jostled Jake’s head until the green eyes slowly opened.

“Were you sleeping?”

“Just listening. I’m sorry.”

Bradley nuzzled against the top of his head. “You said that already.”

“It’s just, even before that year, Christmas wasn’t magic for us. There was always shouting and frustration, and pressure – so much pressure.”

“At Christmas?”

He raised an eyebrow, “You’ve met my father.”

Bradley nodded and returned to his cocoa.

“I worked the last four Christmases before we got together. Like, volunteered in the first week of January so I didn’t have to go home and hear how much of a failure I am.”

“You know that’s not true though right?”

Swiping his drink, Jake took a sip and shrugged. “I don’t know Brad, a lifetime of being told that is a lot to ignore.”

Everything in Bradley ached, not at the words but at the pain he heard; at the idea Jake would even begin to feel that way, and for a moment he genuinely considered driving out to Texas to punch Mr Seresin senior squarely in the face. But that idea faded with one look at his fiancé and the pain he so rarely allowed to be seen, even here in their house.

Shifting in the chair, Bradley pulled Jake firmly into his lap, until they were eye to eye with foreheads pressed together.

“Jake Seresin, you are the most incredible man I’ve ever met. You do anything for your parents – even when you get very little in return, and are the greatest uncle to those kids I’ve ever seen. You’re the guy who’s always at the end of the phone whenever our friends need something, and you know why they call you? Because you have the answers, always. You’ve saved God knows how many people in the past ten years and you’re one of the best pilots in the US Navy,” when Jake raised an eyebrow he laughed and nodded, “OK fine, the best. Probably.” The other man grinned in a way that touched every nerve in his body. “You’ve built this incredible home, some of it literally since I couldn’t be trusted with a hammer.” Tilting his head, Jake nodded again with a low chuckle. “And you’re pretty easy on the eye too.” This time when he touched their lips together, Bradley stayed close enough that Jake could feel the words on his mouth. “You’re the man I want to spend my life with, to have children with and create all of our own traditions with.” Jake inhaled softly, but Bradley continued. “You are amazing Jake Seresin. And anyone who doesn’t realise that doesn’t deserve an inch of space in that beautiful head of yours.”

Deepening the kiss, Jake stroked a hand over Bradley’s hair and nipped gently at his partner’s lip. “What would I do without you Bradshaw?”

But Bradley only shook his head, voice thick with desire as he began to trail kisses down Jake’s throat, “You don’t ever need to find out baby.”

When his fingers came to the buttons at the front of the red silk shirt, Bradley felt Jake shiver, and only pressed his lips harder to the warm stubbled flesh as he whispered. “You’re it for me, and if I have to spend the rest of my life telling you how lucky that makes me, you can be damned sure I’ll do it.”

As his fiancé moaned softly, Bradley paused and pulled back to look in his eyes, before placing his hands under Jake’s thighs and rising to his feet.

For a moment they stood, the Texan’s legs wrapped around his waist as they kissed deeply. “Upstairs?” Jake asked, shifting ever so slightly until he felt the fullness of Bradley’s erection against him. But the older man only shook his head and began to lower him down onto the wide rug in the centre of the floor.

“I want you here. By the fire, in front of the tree.”

As Jake’s back hit the floor he went to speak, but Bradley only muffled it as he ran his tongue around the deliciously pink lips and focussed once again on peeling off the pyjamas.

“I want you in the centre of this room – of our home – because you are the centre of our home.”

He followed the trail of his fingers with his lips, planting soft kisses against Jake’s chiselled chest and down to his abs thrilling in the way Jake shivered each time the moustache he’d once mocked brushed against his skin.

“These past few weeks, this place hasn’t felt like home. You know why?”

Jake murmured a response as Bradley’s hand went to his waistband and he dipped a finger inside.

“Because we’re what makes this place home Jake. You’re what makes it home for me, do you understand?”

When he moved his eyes upwards, Bradley found Jake’s eyes dark and glinting with emotion. Taking hold of the silk, he spoke again. “Can I take these down baby?”

Jake parted his lips and nodded, watching intently as Bradley pulled out the waistband and dragged the trousers down slowly, maintaining eye contact even as he found him naked, hard, and hot inside. Bradley flicked a tongue across his lips and glanced downwards as he ran a single finger down from the tip of Jake’s cock, dragging the single bead of moisture right down to the base until the answering shiver made him grin.

Staring back into his fiancé’s eyes, Bradley gripped the other man’s erection and began to move his hand back and forth.

“I want Christmas to be ours Jake, because I want everything to be ours,” he murmured in a low voice, heavy brown eyes meeting green as he watched his partner’s body respond. “I want every Christmas to be ours because I want every day to be ours. I want you to be mine, forever.”

And with that he ducked his head, feeding the rock-hard flesh into his own mouth until he heard Jake let out a low groan and beginning to massage the other man’s balls as he moved his head up and down, coaxing the spongey head with his tongue until Jake hissed his name and fisted a hand into the thick brown curls.

“I’m yours,” he whispered hoarsely. “For Christmas, tomorrow, always. I’m yours.”

On a soft moan, Bradley shifted his head until Jake’s cock hit the back of his throat and the other man’s entire body went rigid as he cried out.

Jake’s cock twitched in his mouth; a sign Bradley knew meant he was close. And with his own arousal damp in his trousers, Bradley took the hard flesh from his mouth until only a thin string of salvia connected his lips to Jakes erect cock.

Bradley swiped the saliva away with two fingers and then spit to add a little more moisture before he took his fingers to Jake’s ass and circled the opening there. As Jake writhed on the floor, Bradley moved his mouth down to join his fingers, probing his tongue inside as he continued to move his fingers until Jake tugged at his hair.

“Stop, I need you to, I can’t…”

Placing his hands on Jake’s taught thighs, Bradley sat back on his knees and gazed at his fiancé’s tightly closed eyes over the rapid rise and fall of his chest.

“You need a second?”

Jake nodded, jaw tensed as he tried to pull himself back from the brink.

“It’s been a while baby, you need the lube?”

Jake nodded and opened his eyes, sinking his teeth into his lower lip as he watched Bradley rise and head upstairs. Alone in the room, he closed his eyes again to catch his breath and was overcome, not only with lust but with a love that seemed to radiate through not only his chest but his entire body before spilling out from his eyes. When Bradley began to make his way back downstairs Jake pulled the back of his hand across the first tears that fell, ready to reach out to his partner as he returned.

Kneeling up, he placed his hands on Bradley’s thick thighs and met the taller man’s eyes. “Let me touch you.”

Bradley shook his head but leaned down to tilt Jake’s head back and plant a soft kiss on his lips. “No baby, tonight is all about you. Let me love you.”

As he lay back, Jake gave a watery grin and croaked out a plea, “At least take off those fucking stupid pyjamas.”

Eyes wide, Bradley smiled and motioned to the surfing Santas and holly-topped palm trees. “Oh you think these pyjamas need to come off?”

Throwing the bottle he was carrying onto the floor, he drew his hands slowly up his torso and began to unbutton the shirt, catching his lower lip as he stared at Jake’s face and watched the other man’s jaw drop. Shrugging out of the shirt one arm at a time he theatrically balled up the soft material and tossed it towards Jake, bringing a breathy laugh at the patterned fabric hit him in the face.

“That enough for you?” He asked, grinning as Jake shook his head and, using one hand to clutch the shirt to his face and inhale, raised the other into the air to gesture to the his partner’s trousers.

The sight made Bradley’s breath catch with lust, and it took everything in him not to leap forward and take Jake there and then. Instead, he brought his hands to the waistband of the trousers, and begin to move his hips gently as he slid them slowly down, revealing increasing amounts of toned golden flesh. As his erection sprang free, he heard Jake let out a small gasp and allowed it to spur him on as he kicked off the pants and dropped to his knees, applying the lube slowly and deliberately to his cock.

“Ready?”

Jake nodded and shifted his legs to the side so that Bradley could take them in his arms as he leaned forward first to kiss his fiancé deeply before moving back to lift Jake’s ass and thrust inside, gently at first until he saw Jake’s body sigh with pleasure and met his eyes with a nod.

Bradley began to move his hips, matching his ragged breaths with thrusts that sent him deeper and deeper inside Jake until he was touching the sensitive spot inside over and over until Jake shuddered beneath him.

“Tell me how you want it baby, tell me everything you want.”

Jake shook his head, his face a picture of lust and reverence. “I just want you. Every bit of you, inside me. With me.”

Bradley’s hips stilled and he moved a thumb to run over Jake’s lips, “You’ve got me, always.”

They stayed like that for just a moment, eyes fixed upon one another, and bodies connected. “I love you,” Jake murmured, before parting his lips and sucking Bradley’s thumb deeply as he moved his hips. “Now fuck me.”

On a growl, Bradley began to move again, using all of his restraint to fuck slow and deep so that Jake could feel every inch of his as it moved in and out. As he brought a hand to Jake’s balls and began to speak again, he saw the other man’s eyes roll.

“I thought about this so much while you were away and longed for it, longed for us. You’re incredible Jake and I’ll never let you forget it, even if I have to tell you every day for the rest of your my life.”

Jake let out a choked groan and reached down to grip his cock, squeezing it hard as his body twitched.

“What’s wrong baby, does it feel too good for you?” Jake nodded silently; his eyes squeezed shut as he tried to focus. “Hold on for me Jake, I want to make this last. I want to make every moment of it last.”

Jake whined and opened his mouth to speak but could only nod dumbly as Bradley continued to move inside of him.

“I know baby, I know how good it feels. It’s so good for me too, but let me take every moment, OK?”

Jake’s lower lip trembled, and he whined again.

“Fuck baby, I love it when you whine.” Bradley groaned and felt his hips jerk forward of their own volition. “Look at me Jake, I want you to look in my eyes when I fill you up. Ready?”

“Yes,” Jake’s voice was ragged as the tears began to flow freely. “Fuck yes. I love you so much, fill me up Bradley. God, fill me up.”

“I love you,” he gasped. “Oh fuck I love you.” The last conscious thought he had was to reach out and cup Jake’s face in his hand as he buried himself into Jake’s ass one more time and, with a cry of the other man’s name, emptied himself inside.

At almost the same moment, Jake found his own release, spilling onto Bradley’s stomach with a cry. They stayed that way, both panting and trembling, for a moment until Bradley’s arms felt like they were about to give out and he allowed himself to fall onto Jake, the other man cradling his head against his chest as they allowed themselves to slowly recover.

“We should shower,” Jake finally declared, sweaty and covered in cum.

Bradley grunted softly, “Then back into to the Christmas pjs right? It would be rude not to when you wear them so well.”

The blond’s only response to the question was a laugh that rumbled in his chest. “And then what Mr Christmas?”

Bradley shrugged and Jake twitched at the sensation of his moustache tickling against bare skin. “I don’t know, beer and Chinese food?”

On a grin, Jake lifted his partner’s head and planted a soft kiss on his mouth. “I love you Bradley Bradshaw. And tomorrow when I’ve recovered, we’re going to start a whole new tradition of me showing you just how much.”

[ofpedsruinous]

Alex wasn’t trying to cause a fight; he wasn’t trying to cross lines. He was trying to help both of us be honest with ourselves. Alex left; he grappled with the decisions he made. He tried to make sense of the human he was. He felt stuck he felt trapped against a wall when it came to finding out he was a dad, and iZzie kept his kids from him. For years; while he tried to make a family, a home here with Jo. And don’t get him wrong jo was his home. She always was. But he had twins; he had children out there; and he never wanted to become his dad. The deadbeat; the man who abandoned his kids. 

And Jo was Seattle; she made a home here; Alex couldn’t be selfish with her. But he also knows his heart was hers; she was the anchor for him. But we were over; I once said if I saw her again, if I looked her in the eye I’d never be able to walk away. And I believed in; until we crossed an impasse. She was a mother to a baby Parker; and I had kids in Kansas; as much as I felt we loved each other our courses wouldn’t match up. Impossible. I’d hold Jo’s heart her undevoted love in the palms of my hands; and I’d hope we could be friends. I never wanted to experience a future where she wasn't a part of me. 

But as I asked the daring question; what had changed? Did Jo care? Or was she counting down the minutes until I was gone. Until that damn accident; the loss of feeling in my legs was a reminder; of Jackson’s damn plane, his pathic plane of a jet. I was grumpy as I came to hear her, and I felt it the crushing of my chest as if it was impaled. “ Jo..” I started as I used every strength I had; to extend my hand to reach her own, fingers curled around the edge of her fingertips. “ Jo.. I could never ask you to give up your life here. And if it wasn’t for my battle with Izzie with wanting rights to my children I’d be here. But my hands are tied for right now. I know it would be easier to leave, to never look back. But it’s us, I loved you, I do love you. It was never about who I loved more. If it was just about my wife, I’d always chose you. But its about my kids not me.” Not what my heart craved, what I felt in my chest. The thought of never seeing jo again. It was about the twins what I had to sacrifice for them. But I knew if Jo was hurt I’d waste no time in sitting at her bedside; in being an anchor the home she’d always be for me. 

“ I want to let you go, for you. But I don’t know if it’s the right thing, Can’t we just not say goodbye until my rebeb is over?” The were weeks of healing; of getting my strength back; of trying to walk again. Then we revisit and figure out what was right and wrong. I felt pain in my chest; the ache that never left, but I also felt no limbs and movement in my nerves; an awful sign. But for Jo if she told me no, I’d let her go if for the last time.

continued

@warriorqueenmd

Accidents; they have a way of whipping us into shape. Alex could tell you the amount of times he’s tended to patients from car wrecks, from plane crashes, and trains where it was two people who either were denying how they felt about each other. Or had broken up and one risk of never seeing the other again was a motivation. A motivation to admit to what rested in your heart. Alex knew he was the guy who made mistakes. He had a tenacity to lose his temper, he liked to believe he was an okay guy. But he also knew when it came to people he loved; he fought tooth and nail for. Jo she was the love of his life; he knew it in his heart. But he also felt his back against a wall. 

He had a family that had nothing to do with her; and this crash happened because he was again walking away from what rested in his heart. He had to ask himself if this was a sign. If this crash was an indication that he should be here in Seattle. Alex told himself he’d be damned if he walked away from her; because the second he laid his eyes on her again he knew. He was still hopelessly in love with her. But Jo she had a child; he had two kids in Kansas the odds did feel like they were stacked against him. He didn’t want to hurt her; again. And he saw Jo; he read her face like a book. She was barely holding it together. He hated himself for being the reason why she cried, why she had to walk away from him. 

He knew he was bleeding; it was awful because right now he could barely feel the movement in his legs, like his nerves had stopped functioning. But he saw it as a good sign that his eyes were opened, that he was alert. Because the doctor in him was assessing his own injuries. The bump on the head; the headache he felt each time he attempted to turn his head on his own. The worse part was the droplets of blood coming out of his leg. He saw the concerned expressions on Hunt and Bailey. Surgeon; he knew his life was in good hands. But given that Jo was the one on his side; she was the one that earned the job of distracting him, he had to use this opportunity for himself. Her lame joke; between baby vomit and cat; neither were quite the win if you asked him. 

Holding his lips together; he attempted to stop himself from laughing. A gentle small hint of a smile pulled at the corners of his lips. “ You need better stories Jo.” A light handed insult; but if he by some miracle survived and we tried to figure this unconventional relationship out; I needed to trust Jo would be able to make up a story at the beat of a bat. I made up stories all the time on a whim for my kids; the bedtime stories were our routines, the memory of the last time; I saw them. A few years to get to know Eli and Alexis, and now my life was flashing before my eyes. But not without saying the words; uttering the I love you; because if I was on my death bed, I needed Jo to know. It was always her; it would always be her. 

Hand laced through her; a slight tightest wrapped around her smaller palm. She loved me, now Jo could just be saying the words; so I wouldn’t feel like I was baring my soul out to her; but I didn’t want to hear the words; I needed to say it as my last words. Eyes slightly grew wide when I felt it; her lips on mine. As if no time had passed. Eyes shifted closed for a second. To hold onto this moment; the moment of kissing her again. It ended too soon if you asked me. 

“ Promise you won’t go anywhere.” I’d be back; I wasn’t going to let our story end like this. I heard Hunt; which is why My eyes were only focused on Jo; she was a calmness within this storm. Each movement of the gurney inching closer to the OR, I knew it was close when Hunt eyed both Jo and I. Her hand; I had brought her palm to my lips; pressing a gentle kiss to her skin. 

“ This isn���t over. It’ll be us at the end okay.” A promise; written in my words, I’d come back to her; I swore it with everything I had. Slowly I let go of her hand; As I nodded to Hunt. It was time to stop the damn bleeding. It was time to get this show on the road. Eyes fluttered shut as we made our way right into the OR. A minute before I felt the nurses start talking. 

“ We’re going to inject you so you don’t feel the pain, if the doctors want to repair your leg, and the wounds on your head.” I didn’t need to nod; my blood was dropping; I felt it in my body. I made a promise and I knew Jo; she’d hold me to the promise. Eyes opened looking right at the ceiling. Eyes glued to the white ceiling as I felt the injection to my arm; it was numb before I felt the mask lower down onto my face. 

The last image I saw was Hunt and Bailey who came to stand on each side of the table. “ We’ve got you Karev.” If I’d bet on any pair of hands it was theirs as eyes fluttered shut drawing me to darkness.