#(clicks fic link to read) OH SHIT ITS 'I DONT NEED YOU(TO WORRY FOR ME)'

[last-flight-of-fancy]

YES!! this is probably the one major thing i didn't really cover in my little essay, and that's that light and dark are not moral opposites (and indeed, lack moral alignments in general). It's one of those things that probably deserves a deep dive essay all it's own, and is something that since this essay was written I have been VERY glad to see Dark Road touch on a litte bit (do i want more though? yes always. but im still glad to see it)

The other thing is ofc, Sora, and his rage form, which I belatedly realise I heavily implied to be vanitas at the end of this essay. which is.... neither correct nor incorrect really. more of an oversimplification that i really ought to expand on now that ive seen a few notes taking umbridge with the implication that i'm giving all of sora's darkness to vanitas (which isnt what i meant to imply at all oops. i thought i was being clever with the symbolism sorry)

while i'll freely admit that i do like the idea of vanitas having a role there, in forcibly protecting sora whether sora wants it or not(i'm a sucker for reluctant big brother vani what can i say), i don't beleive that's what actually happening in canon. tbh there are multiple possibilities for what's actually going on wrt rage form, and honestly i'd place bets on the answer being several of them simultaneously.

But yes, sora has been doing a lot of smiling, and a lot of hiding. At this point he's become something of a poster child of toxic positivity; some of it conscious ("i can take it" "ofc you can!" "dont say that!"), some of it subconscious (completely absolving riku/donald/goofy of any culpability from kh1 despite the way it clearly still hurts him, anyone?), and some of it has been buried so deep he doesn't even remember it (this boy has a tendency to just... forget incredibly traumatic memories. and that's *before* namine got involved).

All of this is... Well it ain't healthy for sure, and we've been seeing the buildup of this over the course of the series. A bottle like his is GOING to explode, and rage form is honestly just the cracks in the glass.

And to bring this alllll the way back round to vanitas (and funnily enough tie in with a slightly different essay i once wrote about vanitas and his narrative role); sora and vanitas are both opposites and contemporaries in ways i think could benefit them both.

Vanitas lashes out, Sora represses. Vanitas wants to remember, Sora tries to forget. Vanitas is constantly, painfully aware of the state he's in at all times, Sora pretends that nothing is wrong. Vanitas blames Ventus for everything, Sora blames Riku for nothing.

They both yearn for connection, they're both incredibly stubborn, they both have a desperate need to feel like they have a place in the universe.

see where i'm going with this?

and that's why i had that last image, not for rage form specifically but for sora. because yes i do beleive vanitas is still in the hotel (for reasons rooted pretty solidly in canon i think), and it just... fits too damn well imo. genuinely i do try not to set myself up for expectations when it comes to kh, bc as we all know this series is always more than ready to throw curve balls at us that make predicting specifics... difficult, at best, but theres attempting to predict specifics, and then theres 'well damn man, this is just what the story so far is telling me right now', yknow?

I still see the misconception that Vanitas is pure darkness and/or the Darkness from KHUX only sometimes, and that drives me a bit feral as your local Vanitas enthusiast, so for your conveniance I have compiled a handy list of evidence to the contrary. As always, there may be more factors we are not yet aware of, but I still feel confident in the assertion that Vanitas isn’t pure anything.

**Side note, I am fully aware of the fact that darkness is not inherently bad, but it is instead too much of light or dark that causes problems. This is not an ‘uwu i want my baby villain to be light because light is Good’ argument. This is a ‘hey this is kh and the characters are a lot more complicated and layered than some seem to think’ argument.

So. Let’s start with the beginning, shall we?

Well, kind of. We’ll get to khux in a bit. BBS first.

The initial light is easily written off as being Ven’s own light as the split takes place, however;

The light continues to rise, right into the ball of darkness that creates Vanitas. honestly I’d say right there makes it pretty indisputable that there is at least a small part of Vanitas at his very core is light.

(edit: as of the kh4 trailer it’s been pointed out that the way Vanitas uncurls and the way the Darksides uncurl as they appear is basically identical. i dont know what that means either in canon or wrt this essay but i do sure think its INTERESTING)

POV: you are ventus about three inches from death looking up at a severed piece of your own heart.

is it visual smybolism or is it Ven’s perspective being too-bright due to his own split related trauma? you decide. (both? both.)

But again, when Vanitas gives up (and yes, he just.. gives up, and it breaks my heart), he turns to light as he falls, just like Ven (who, tellingly, rises instead)

Vanitas’ fall also reveals Ven’s heart station, again by way of a circle of light. I still do not beleive that they completely re-integrated, but I do think it’s a very nice way of showing how they still need each other, despite their divergence.

(whether that need is healthy or not is a matter for debate)

To contrast this, I turn your attention to all the nobodies defeats, and most importantly of all imo, repliku’s.

(i do think it interesting to note how many of the nobodies have touches of gray light in their fading too, though some are more noticable than others. They’re all a little bit unique, which I like. i could definitely metaphor on main on these guys if i wanted to. except luxords. which is totally black? for some reason? hey luxord what is uuuuuup)

Anyway, repliku. who also fades with darkness, and a little bit of blue lights (which along with purples seem to often be like, darkness tangential, presumably for visual design/contrast reasons).

It’s important to note here that the GBA version came out in 2004, and the PS2 remake in 2007. BBS was released in 2010. There was visual precedent for a darkness based non-nobody character fading out of existence, and they tellingly did not use it.

Okay, so what about Xion then?

Xion is pretty solidly light based imo, which makes sense considering how strongly she is connected to Roxas (who is basically light incarnate going by kh3 lol) and sora (who is also pretty strongly connected to light), as well as memories of kairi (PoH) and riku (light cloaked in darkness).

and also there’s the whole ‘memories erased from existence’ thing. I can only assume that fucks with like… everything.

in kh3 we see repliku fade again, this time a mix of his current and past selves which… is a mix of light and dark.

So there’s plenty of examples of characters fading with darkness attached to them, which begs the question…. why not vanitas? The character we are told over and over again is only darkness?

As MoM told us, the truth is what we see, not what we hear.

Which means the answer is that he isn’t.

He’s definitely part darkness, that much is without question, even without the presence of KHUX’s darkness (which i’ll get to in a second), everybody has darkness in their hearts whether they like it or not, with the sole exception of the Princesses of Heart (and possibly ventus. maybe. given the conceit of this whole post though i’m willing to bet not as much as we’re told he is).

anyway. KHUX. let’s look at that shall we?

because i think this is where people get confused. Or simply assume that the previous lore is being retconned. while kh can and does occassionally retcon things, it rarely does so in a way that actively contradicts itself (sometimes it may look like it does, but eventually is shown to only be missing context that made it make sense)

So that being said, I don’t beleive any of my previous points are or have been retconned by khux.

We all know Darkness did a big old possession of Ventus and did a Bad Thing (murder) with him as a host- Ventus himself is a bit of a mystery here since its uh. kind of implied he was a Big Light even before this? and uses that to trap Darkness? kind of unclear. Ven still has some mysteries around him that could certainly turn things on their head again.

So here’s the thing about Darkness. It wants nothing, MoM says their thought processes are utterly foreign to people, it’s excellent at mind games and lying, and it mostly just seems to do things because it was foretold, no real personal connection to anything. From what we see of Darkness in khux, this appears to be more or less accurate. It didn’t care about OR hate anything about ven, or strelitzia, or anything around them; Ven said he wanted power, so the Darkness gave it to him (in the most Monkey Paw’d way possible).

Look at this, now back to Vanitas, now this, now back to Vanitas, he’s on a horse (yeehaw).

sorry

Doesn’t sound the same at all, does it? Vanitas definitely has a tendency to lie, but that has as much to do with how he’s been manipulated as with an actual concerted effort to do so. A little bit of mind games? sure, mostly with Ventus. Not sure I’d call him great at it or anything. But that’s kind of where the similarity ends, because Vanitas definitely wants things, and he has a lot of feelings- literally so many that his broken heart can’t contain them.

now of course I must mention that the novels are what I would classify as Canon-Lite, meaning that they do occassionally contradict the games, though usually in small, not terribly significant ways. That said however, Vanitas’ ENTIRE conceit through the entire novel is how much pain he is in. Constantly. I find it extremely unlikely that such a major part of the story would be discarded without acknowledgement- maybe in any other series, but not this one. Nomura has outright said that he assigned the writing of the novels to Tomoco because she understands the series in a way no one else does. I also find it unlikely the novels don’t pass through Nomura’s hands to review at some point either. This series is his baby after all.

You cannot read this and honestly tell me you don’t see a child in pain. I won’t beleive you. Xehanort tells him the only way to be free of his pain is to forge the X-blade with Ventus, and from there it all makes sense. Literally every single thing Vanitas does is with that goal in mind, to be free of his pain, and can you blame him? To be in that place, constantly taunted by Ven’s happiness and friendships, told there’s only one way out, constantly in pain and then further abused by your supposed Master on top of it… Is it any wonder a lot of people relate to the abuse/chronic illness vibes?

All of which to say none of that sounds like the Darkness of KHUX. Like… at all.

You know what does sound like the Darkness of KHUX?

This guy.

Now, Sora assumes this is Vanitas, and honestly to him this is a perfectly logical conclusion to come to. He’s in Ventus’ heart, which he knows to be connected to Vanitas, there’s a great big dark blotch there, and it says it’s Darkness, which is the last thing that Vanitas told them in the KBG (”What I am… is Darkness.”).

But here’s the thing.

He’s wrong.

Now I’m not going to pretend I did not also have a big “OH MY GOD IS THAT MY SON? IS THAT MY BOY?” moment when I first saw this scene. I very much did. But the more I think about it the more I’m certain that this is not Vanitas, but the OG khux Darkness, and if I haven’t been clear so far, I fully beleive Darkness and Vanitas are two completely seperate beings- ones who have certainly influenced each other, as is inevitable when you share a heart, but are not the same. To say they are I think would be the same as saying the same of Roxas and Sora, or Ventus and Roxas. Namine and Kairi. Xion and… well, a lot of people tbh XD. They are all strongly connected to each other, have influenced each others hearts in so many ways, but are not at all the same.

Honestly even Sora himself seems uncertain of his conclusion, saying Vanitas’ name as a question rather than a statement. It doesn’t really talk like Vanitas either, and the fact that the lines are conspicuously unvoiced (why create a mystery if the answer is as obvious as most people seem to think?) leads me to beleive Vanitas has no part in this interaction.

Which begs the question… Where is Vanitas? How much of his darkness is his own, Ventus’, Sora’s? How have things changed for him since he fell into Ven’s heart, which then fell into Sora’s? I don’t know for sure but…

I do think we’re going to find out.

[bepoets]

Review for Trish’s Dream Fic

Trish ( @couragedontdesertme  ) said she’d write an epilogue of the elsarik dream Fic if I made a Formal Review of the elsarik dream fic. So here we are.

Please note review should be taken VERY LIGHTLY this is more or less me re-reading the Fic and loudly yelling about things with too many exclamation points. Enjoy Trish.

Ch1

First of all imagine my fucking surprise I didn’t even know you had gotten work done on the dream fic???? Here I was thinking the link you sent me was the next chapter of city of ice and then I click on it and it saYS DREAM FIC???? E X C U S E M E oh my goodness

The first section is just so entirely domestic and beautiful and you can tell how lived in and content they are in their life as roommates. ALARIK (listen my phone autocorrects ALARIK to be in all caps and I’m too lazy to fix it so y’all are gonna have to deal with reading ALARIK’s name as if I’m yelling it every time I type it) anyway ALARIK just bringing her the chocolate croissants she loves so dearly and Elsa curling up with a book and him fretting and worrying over her being there alone all day and later... it’s just SO DOMESTIC. it’s such a small short moment but it’s so domestic and a perfect opposite of the PAIN THAT HAPPENS AFTER!!! And we al know I LOVE READING PAIN

The fact that ALARIK was only home late because he was doing tutoring to earn more money to by Elsa A PRESENT????? Shut up no one speak to me that’s true love but also PAINFUL the guilt he must feel oh my god

Elsa...stops struggling... because she doesn’t want ,,,, ALARIK ,,,, to get hurt. Because she cares for his safety more than her own because he has protected her and he is her friend and she loves him I am going to SCREAM

The fact that you use the phrase ~marching her out of the warmth of the room~ when she just used her magic to like cover the walls in frost makes my Heart burst cause idk if it was intentional or not but I just love the thought that this room has become Home to her it’s become safe and beautiful and lovely and WARM because it is full of love and friendship and companionship rather than the cold loneliness of say her ice palace of her locked room as a child. I like to think Elsa could have covered the room entirely in ice and snow and frost and it would still feel warm to her because of the love that’s developed there thank you for coming to my tedtalk

Ugh fuck hans

I have literally no words other than fuck hans for any section with hans in it I DONT even want to RECOGNIZE THAT HE EXISTS !!! Making Elsa feel like she’s nothing I am going to punch him in the eye

~ALARIK weeps over smushed chocolate croissant. End scene~

I know that it’s such a heartbreaking sad ending for that first chapter but also I really can’t stop laughing about him crying over a stepped on croissant since I know that your like planning note for that last scene was literally just some variant of ALARIK cried over a smushed croissant and that’s just such a funny IMAGE TO ME EVEN THOUGH ITS SAD

I just like to imagine ALARIK cradling the chocolate croissant in his arms like a bébé as he sobs

Ch2

I’m fucking S A D

ALARIK having like NO MONEY and just thinking about that the money he has was going to go to a gift for Elsa and the guard LAUGHING AT HIM LIKE THATS IT THATS ALL YOU HAVE?? Like shut UP HES TRYING TO SAVE HIS BELOVED

P e t t y c h a n g e HE IS TRYING MR GUARD I WILL HAVE YOU KNOW HE WORKED EXTRA TO GET THAT MONEY

ALARIK is so fucking DEVOTED I’m going to run through a goddamn wall I cannot cope. Willing to sell the clothes off his back have you ever seen an idiot more iN LOVE

ALARIK just going willingly cause he has no fight left in him and he just wants to see Elsa even if it means he gets imprisoned too oh my GOD

THE SCENE ITS THE SCENE!!!!!!!!!

STRAIGHT FROM TRISH’S SUBCONSCIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WHAT STARTED IT ALL!!!!!!!!!!

ALARIK wanting to hold her hands when her hands are what are chained up and seen as dangerous and what ~make her a witch~ the absolute love and power that holds.

LET ALARIK AND ELSA HOLD HANDS

“I promised to keep you safe” the pain I feel oh mY GOD

“They’ll KILL you” they’re really out here trying to protect each other at all costs oh my god nothing matters more to the other than keeping the other safe and for that I want to cry and love them and also I want to ram their heads into the wall because wHY WONT THEY JUST PROTECT ESCH OTHER TOGETHER

The PARALLEL OH MY FUCKING GOD

the P A R A L L E L of ALARIK stilling and no longer struggling when the guards threaten Elsa’s death in the same way that Elsa stilled and stopped struggling when they threatened ALARIK’s death oh my god that broke me right there

U g h hans fuck that guy

A N N A !!!!!!!!

When I first read this,,, I DONT know why??? But for some reason??? I didn’t think Anna would be in it???? Which like thinking back on that it makes no sense of COURSE Anna would be in the FIC why would I ever think otherwise. But anyway I was so surprised when she showed up I literally gasped and went ANNA??? Out loud because I was so shocked

ALFAFA GERANIUM

ALARIK really is just so bad under pressure who thought this was a good idea

AG FOR SHORT wink wink nudge nudge cough cough

I’ll be thinking about ALARIK shouting alfafa geranium on my death bed let us never forget

“No harm, no foul” is literally the most fucking Anna line I’ve ever heard. She absolutely would say that to someone who was being question for a crime she’d be like “it’s not biggy”

Why is it that when hans says “BUT ANNA!!!” I hear it like he’s wining like a petulant child I read it like “bUT annNNAAAAA” ugh I hate him

“Don’t scream” *ALARIK’s inner monologue* “this ,, is the story of how I died”

ILL HELP YOU HELP HER ESCAPE!!!!! HELL YEA YOU WILL ANNA HELL YEA YOU WILL

Ch3

My dumbass really went “why are none of the children named neta” before remembering that is the child of Anna and Kristoff and these...are the children of Anna ,,, and .... ugh please don’t make me say his name

I would die for these kids though I love them and I want to protect them at all costs 

Johannes at 5 (and a half!!!!) being a fine soldier GOOD FOR HIM

Isak owns my entire heart from the moment he started fake crying for his mother what a star performer a true Actor he’s too good

Arendellian Royal Guards, are they guards? Or are they simply baby sitters? The world may never know

JOAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! One of the babies being named JOAN!!! Hang in there Joan!!!!!!!!! That made me cry oh my god J O A N

Bébé Isak lookout supreme with his big eyeballs and smile and goofy lil salute I love him

The fact that Elsa says she felt stupid for being lured into a false sense of security means she felt secure and safe for literally the first time since she was a child when she was with ALARIK and I cannot properly articulate how much that made me cry I love that so much that has to mean sO MUCH TO HER oh my god

“You have to get out!! Do the magic!!” NO ONE SPEAK TO ME ABOUT ANYTHING EXCEPT THIS LINE FOR THE NEXT SEVERAL MONTHS I LITERALLY WEPT

the use of DO THE MAGIC oh my god AND ELSAS HEART LIKE BREAKING BECAUSE SHE FEELS LIKE SHE CANT

DO ! THE ! MAGIC !

Brave little boy with his mother’s determination saying “be brave. That’s what mama said to tell you” oh my GOD THESE CHILDREN HAVE MY WHOLE HEART OH MY GOD

A rooster crow for the signal COUKD they be more obvious I love these kids they’re ridiculous they are truly the children of Anna

Elsa!!! Chose!! To be!!! Brave!!!

IF SHE TRIED TO SAY GOODBYE TO ELSA!!! SHE MAY NEVER LET GO!!!

SHE HAD NO WHERE TO GO!!! BUT SHE DOES BEVAUSE THERES ALARIK WAITING FOR HER BECAUSE GUESS WHAT

ALARIK IS HER HOME !!!!! HE IS HER HOME !!!! SHE CAN GO TO HIM!!!!

Queue another one of my shocked and delightfully surprised screams as I shouted KRISTOFF????? Because blonde dude driving a reindeer cart

Let’s get you somewhere safe I’m going to cry THEYRE finally together again and they can keep each other safe together as. They. Should.

They are cuddling and my heart is exploding oh my god ALARIK seems so surprised like you big dumb idiot you’re both in love with each other it’s a mutual thing get with the program

SLEEP ELSA! ITS GOING TO BE OKAY! AND FOR THE FIRST TIME IN PROBABLY FOREVER! IT WILL BE!

Ch4

*queue another gasp* there’s only one bed?????

Yea I saw it coming yea I was just as shocked even so yea I got very excited about it wHAT DID YOU EXPECT

They’re cUDDLING and he went to move away and she DOESNT WANT HIM TO they could’ve been sharing a bed THIS WHOLE TIME AND I JUST WANT TO SCREAM BECAUSE OBVIOUSLY

ALARIK laying all the credit on kristoff and the kids when he’s kind of the one that steamrolled the whole plan into happening because he’s the one who showed up ALARIK please give yourself more credit

“You came back” “of course I came back... I couldnt ...” “why?” And then ALARIK refusing to meet her eyes has me absolutely weeping this is the kind of shit I THRIVE ON this is truly a gift to us all everyone say thank you Trish for these three bits of dialogue I will be thinking about them for all my days

ELSA KISSED HIM!!!!!!!!!

Yeah I do lose my shit anytime Elsa is the one to make the first move you go girl you go

THE SPICE VENDOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bringing in all my favorites I am going to cry thank you Trish I love Darius

I SUPPOSE YOU TWO HAVE FINALLY GOTTEN MARRIED

listen I SCREAMED WHEN HE SAID THAT I SQUAWKED!!!! MARRIED!!!!!!

I had been observing you two and just assumed!!!!! You would assume right mr spice vendor sir if they WERENT so stupid for so long it’s okay we understand

WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE ??? And Elsa says MARRY US? And ALARIK is going to PASS THE FUCK OUT

He literally got to finally kiss the woman he’s in love with for the first time last night and now they’re getting married poor boy is going to get WHIPLASH from how fast things are progressing but it’s okay im sure he is happy

Elsa’s little vows of just needing each other and keeping each other safe and keeping company and not needing gold or silver ugh TRUE LOVE

And ALARIK hopelessly devoted to her being like I PROMISE

“just you being there no matter what is enough” peak romance true love the devotion the dedication I’m a wreck

LE SMOOCH! LE MARRIAGE! INCREDIBLE I LOVE THEM

~end review~

Okay where is my epilogue please and thank you

[magioftheseas]

Day 1 - Reserve

Written for @the-hinata-project 

Prompt: Reserve Course Student Hinata

Rating: G

Warnings: Lowkey manipulation and insecurity, but other than that, not much.

Notes: Alright, so I’m still in the middle of these, but like... Here’s the first one! They’re all going to be pretty short, around 2K but I’m gonna do my best to finish all of them so wish me luck...! And this first fic is gen. No ships. Next ones won’t be so gen. It’s also pre-HPA. Kind of.

***Alternate Ao3 Link***

Commission? Donate?

The last wish he made on New Year’s was a simple one.

I want to get into Hope’s Peak.

But of course that  would never happen.

“Can’t you dream more realistically, Hajime? Do you have any idea how expensive Hope’s Peak actually is? We can’t afford that.”

“I... I know that, but...”

“If you know then why are you burdening us with this? Please. Just think about other people besides yourself for once.”

“...sorry.”

His mother sighs, but ruffles his hair in a show of affection.

“You current high school isn’t so bad, right? You can make good friends here, and it’s a fine school.”

“I guess it’s...decent,” he mumbles.

“Just don’t even worry about Hope’s Peak anymore,” she tells him. “It’s impossible, and it can’t be helped. Keep your chin up. Okay?”

“...fine...”

Because he knew, after all, that she had a point. They couldn’t afford it. And he wasn’t talented. It was a pipe dream to attend. Nothing more. Nothing less.

Still...

--

For his birthday, he was given a new laptop to replace the old. It was a fairly recent model. Pretty expensive. Likely compensation. He can’t say he didn’t like it.

He wasn’t ungrateful. He doesn’t think so.

It’s just that I admire Hope’s Peak more than anything.

So much so that he finds himself on the forums first thing.

>Does anyone have any idea who’s going to be in the upcoming batch?

>They haven’t finished scouting, right? Oh, but I just saw on the news that an actual princess was accepted! Hope’s Peak really can get in anyone!

>Wow, actual royalty?!

>There’s this photographer I follow. She’s getting in, too, I’m pretty sure.

>I just saw Saionji Hiyoko-san’s performance last week. I’m positive she’s getting in.

>I’m more interested in the princess. Can you imagine how lucky it would be to meet an actual princess?

>>They’ll be running the lottery in a month or so. What I would give to have more of a chance...

>Wow, they’re doing that again?

>With how much getting into the reserve course costs, you probably have a better chance with the lottery...

>But if you win the lottery, you’re actually considered talented. Reserves are just...y’know, reserves.

>But you’ll get to meet the princess, potentially. I think the money’s worth it, even if all I can do is steal a glance!

>Still... Seems so lame that you can just pay your way in...

>But brand name recognition is pretty powerful...

>>I heard you can actually get into the main course from the reserve course if you do well enough.

>No way! That’s a pipe dream! Maybe if you paid like, twice as much!

>Must be nice to be rich, huh...

Hinata stares, wondering what to type, but also letting the thoughts swirl around in his head.

>>I would do anything to get into Hope’s Peak. But my family just can’t afford that.

>Yeah, mine neither. Who actually can?

>You’d be surprised... They’re getting a lot of enrollments.

>You can’t like...get a scholarship or anything? It’s not like you need to go to college after attending Hope’s Peak.

>Well the golden gates can’t open that wide, I suppose...

>It’s for the best. If just about anyone could get in, it wouldn’t be that special.

Hinata bites his lip, picking at the peeling skin with his teeth.

>>Still. I want to get in more than anything.

>If you aren’t talented, it can’t be helped.

>>I would give anything.

>Pffft. No kidding. I’d give an arm and a leg, probably.

>>I would give anything.

>A lot of people would.

>You’re like a super fan, huh. Well, I am, too, but still...

>>Getting into Hope’s Peak has always been my dream.

>Everyone wants to be special, man.

>But if everyone was special then no one would be special.

>It can’t be helped. You’re either born talented or you aren’t.

>Right?! I must have spent hours drawing but there was always that one person I could just never compare to. It’s hopeless!

>You shouldn’t say hopeless on the Hope’s Peak forums!

>Haha, sorry!

>>I’ve never been talented. There’s not one thing I’m particularly good at.

>Normie...

>>But I want to get into Hope’s Peak Academy... More than anything.

>Give it up. For your own good. Wishing for the impossible isn’t healthy.

>Hey, don’t tell him that! What if he ends up winning the lottery?

>Yeah, right!

>>I’m not particularly lucky, either.

>Luck’s not a talent anyway.

>Are you sure? I’ve known people who get ridiculously lucky while gambling...

>If they gamble too much, that luck’s bound to run out. And I bet they’re not that lucky, they just brag a lot.

>That might be true... Still it would be nice just to get into Hope’s Peak by chance...

>Whoever wins that lottery probably is ridiculously lucky considering how many people are participating. We’re talking like, every high school student in their first year in the country.

>Sucks to be other countries, huh.

>Maybe someday but for now, I like not having that much competition.

>Still a ridiculous amount competing...

>I bet it’ll be someone who can afford the reserve course if they haven’t already enrolled.

>No fair! That kind of thing should disqualify you immediately!

>>I just...want to get in...

>Yeah we all do. But it’s impossible.

>Impossible.

>Totally impossible.

>Pigs will fly first.

>I heard some Ultimates actually can make some crazy shit. We might see flying pigs pretty soon.

>That’s terrifying.

>>I just want to get in.

>You should get offline.

He should. He really, really should.

Is it really impossible?

“Of course it is,” he can practically hear them murmur. “Not only are you untalented, you can’t afford it! And you’re going to win the lottery, either!”

Hinata buries his face into his hands, shuddering.

I just... I just...

--

To his surprise, he later receives a DM. Shivering, he clicks it open.

>Would you really do anything for Hope’s Peak?

He doesn’t recognize the name of the sender but...it looks official.

>>Yes. Of course. Why?

>There actually is a program you can sign up for that will get you in without having to pay a coin.

Hinata blinked once. Twice.

It’s way too good to be true.

But he’s desperate. Beyond desperate.

>>What is this program? How can I sign up?

>Here’s the information.

--

What he’s about to do is how people get themselves abducted, he’s pretty sure. But right now, he’s desperate and... If it really was someone associated with Hope’s Peak, how bad can it be? What’s the worse than can happen?

I already have no chance getting in. I know that... But...

His heart was pounding as he took the train. He stared out the window, at HPA’s towering buildings in the distance, getting closer and closer, and he sucks in his breath.

It’s so shining that it hurts to look at.

Shining like a dream...

--

“Ah, Hinata-kun, you made it after all. So you have the necessary information?”

“Uh... Yes...” Truth be told, he didn’t understand most of it. There were a lot of words that were hard to read and pretty...advanced. “I just...well you said you couldn’t explain everything in just files, so...”

The other looked pretty professional. Sharply dressed and smiling in a way that at least seemed pretty welcoming. But...still pretty intimidating, considering the circumstances. Hinata ducked his head, feeling rather flustered.

“Yes, it’s meant to be kept very tightly under wraps, you see,” they laugh. “I need to assure confidentiality before explaining, Hinata-kun. Surely you understand.”

That’s...weird.

But it made his blood thrum with excitement to be a part of.

“I... Y-Yes, of course. Absolutely... Of course...”

“Sign this form, then, promising that.”

“O-Of course...!”

He scribbles down his signature without a second thought. The other smiled more, pleased. Hinata squirmed in his seat, and tried to keep his posture straight.

With that, the other sat across from him, polite and yet...expectant.

Ah... Hah...

“So you’re willing to do anything for this school,” they say, voice almost light but also dense with significance. “Might I ask why?”

“It’s...as I said on the forums,” Hinata mumbles, fiddling with his tie. Even dressed professionally for this would-be interview, he feels underdressed. “I’ve always admired this school. Always. It’s always been my dream to...to go there...”

The other nods, expression unchanged.

“And why do you wish so badly to go there, despite not having a talent that can be cultivated?”

Hinata flinched.

“T-That’s...! I...” He hesitates, but he soon finds the words just spilling out. “I just want to be someone I can be proud of. Someone who can stand tall. Be confident. Be significant. Isn’t that what I deserve?”

“Isn’t that what everyone deserves?”

Hinata’s nails dig into his palms.

“I admire Hope’s Peak...more than anyone. I will give whatever I can...and then more than that...if I have to.” His teeth grit. “Whatever it takes... W-Whatever it takes...!”

Even though I know it’s selfish and impossible, I just...!

He just wanted to be someone. Someone other than...this.

Unimportant. Unremarkable. A faceless, meaningless part of the mass. The idea of being consumed by mediocrity and insignificance for the rest of his life, never to matter, never to even be remembered, just to disappear, just like he never even existed—

“I’ll do...w-whatever...it takes...” He’s shaking, eyes wide and crazed. “Whatever it takes... Whatever I can...and then more than that...if I have to.”

“Ah. I see.” An easy smile. And yet, the atmosphere felt so heavy that it was near suffocating. “Very well then, Hinata-kun. That’s exactly the kind of attitude we’re looking for.”

Hinata lit up.

“R-Really?” He dares to let hope slip into his tone. “D-Do you really mean it?”

A nod.

“Hinata-kun... If you could be reborn from the faceless body of a miserable nobody into the world’s hope... Would you?”

“That...sounds too good to be true...” His heart really was racing, but he was flushed with excitement. “But... Y-Yeah... I... Of course...”

“Then, allow me to tell you about how that can be possible. If you agree, you’ll be accepted into the school, free of charge, no talent necessary. In fact, it’s even essential that you be talentless.”

I...don’t understand.

He doesn’t understand but it just sounds so incredible that he can’t help but be swayed.

“...tell me.”

“Very well.”

A folder of files is placed before him. They look too important to grasp. And the stamped out letters of CONFIDENTIAL stare back into his wide-eyed, shimmering gaze.

Fingers trembling, Hinata actually slices his finger open as he flips it open.

He doesn’t even feel the sting, as engrossed as he is in the text.

“I...”

The words swirl around in his head, over and over until he drowns in them.

“Do you need time to think about it?” the other asks him kindly. So kindly that Hinata is struck cold. “Tell you what... You can still get into the reserve course. You don’t have to say yes right away, and the deadline will be in a few months from now. You can attend classes here until then...and then make your decision on whether or not you’re willing to stay. Okay?”

“I... O-Okay.” Hinata swallows. “That’s... I’m okay with that.”

I said I’d do anything. And I do...want to do anything. But...

His hands are shaking while still gripping the files.

I can’t...let this chance slip by...even if it’s something like this. This is everything I ever wanted. Why am I even hesitating?

“It’s alright,” the other says reassuringly, taking the files away with ease. “Hinata-kun, I know you’ll make the best decision for yourself.”

For...myself. Myself...

“I...yes.”

“I’ll have them send in your acceptance letter and uniform.” His hand is shook, the grip warm and calloused. “It was a pleasure meeting you, Hinata-kun.”

“A-A pleasure... Yeah.”

Just like that, Hinata was stumbling out of Hope’s Peak, trembling and falling to pieces with every shaky step.

I have to do it, he can’t help but think. I have to do it, for...for myself...

This was going to be the year his life changed irreparably. He was sure of it.

[minijenn]

MiniJen’s Fic Recs!

So I said I was gonna do it and here it is! One big huge list of fics I love the hell outta for ya’ll to read. These are mostly GF fics, but there are a few SU fics and maybe like several LoZ fics near the end, maybe a few others from other fandoms but still, I can promise they’re all pretty good! And nah I’m not reccing any UF based fics on here, cause if you want to check those out, you can do so here. And with that outta the way, let’s get started, in no particular order and with very little rhyme or reason under the cut! (fyi all the titles are links to make your life easier, even if they dont show up as links on my blog, but you can still click on em and it’ll take you where you wanna go)

All the World’s a Toybox by Straightjacketd Fandom: Gravity Falls Status: Incomplete Ok so I fucking LOVE the hell outta this one because its angsty as fuck and dark. Like fucking dark, like if ya’ll think UF has gotten dark ahahah UF is like child’s play compared to how far this one goes. But that’s honestly one of the things I love about it. I feel like there aren’t enough GF fics out there about what might have happened to our beloved characters had Bill won during Weirdmageddon, but this one puts all ten of the zodiac characters through utter hell and back but the good news is there are spots of hope here and there as the story goes along, so totally go check it out if you wanna cry a fucking LOT because I certainly have with this one!

Monster Falls by Queen Flara Fandom: Gravity Falls Status: Incomplete A pretty cute take on Monster Falls. We get to see how all the various characters deal with their new monster forms and there’s a bit of angst but a lot of fluff too so I like it and I’d check it out if you just want some cute Monster Falls stuff. 

Ain’t No Cure for The Cervitaur Blues by Krista Perry (also on Ao3) Fandom: Gravity Falls Status: Incomplete? I think? So I recently reread this one over Thanksgiving break and I remembered how much I ADORED this one! Its chock full of one of the things ya’ll know I’m infamous for in UF: Dipper angst! Which is honestly a kinda common theme through several of these fics but whatever, its all good, don’t worry about it. But yeah this one’s a beautifully written angst storm with really high stakes, great tension, and immense amounts of awesome creativity packed into things! Plus its kinda Monster Fallsish, which is always a good time, so for reals, check this one out cause its one of the ones I recommend the most on this entire list, no lies. 

Time Trapped by Polachew Fandom: Gravity Falls Status: Incomplete So if you’re like me and love some Timestuck AU angst, this one has got plenty of that! The ways Young!Stan and Mabel and Young!Ford and Dipper play off each other in this are so great and there really are a lot of sweet moments in here. I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t something of an inspiration for a future chapter of UF I wanna do with a Timestuck premise... But yeah go check this one out its pretty great!

Silent Knight by Split Infinitive Fandom: Legend of Zelda Status: Incomplete This was honestly one of the first really good Breath of the Wild fics I managed to find after the game first came out and its honestly so good. It fulfills my inner Zelink shipper so much imo I died because of how cute those two dorks are but this one also has a pretty damn intriguing plot, one that I am totally down for reading more of whenever the author decides to update it. So go check it out if that’s your thing!

We Had a Deal by freakyanimegirl Fandom: Gravity Falls Status: Incomplete This may be one of my favorite fucking fanfics of all time because of mere premise alone. Also feels, this one gives me INTENSE feels every time I read it because of how absolutely, soul crushingly angsty it is. But yeah its a super neat idea in here, one that I won’t dare spoil to any of you. Suffice to say its copious amounts of Mystery Twins angst and Bill being a complete and utter asshole, so what else is new imo like I said its great yet so simple and idk I just really, really like this one so go read it! 

Deerperfalls by Deerper Fandom: Gravity Falls Status: Complete (for a fucking change) Oh damn another Monster Falls fic with a fuck ton of Dipper angst in it what else is new that seems to be my fanfic taste for some reason imo but yeah this one’s a good one. Really sad and angsty but really good. Like Augh I remember the first time I read this over the course of a sick day from school and I was so fucking engrossed in it that I forgot to actually fucking try to get better so ahaha you know its good if that be happening. Check it out and enjoy the angstssssss

Nothing a Little Sleep Can’t Fix by AkitaFallow Fandom: Gravity Falls Status: Oneshot Heyyyyy its one of those angsty post Sock Opera oneshots that kinda might have inspired the angst aftermath of Sock Opera in UF! Ya’ll can’t blame me for that you gotta blame damn good fics like this. But for as angsty as this is, it also has is lovely moments of fluff, which are much appreciated so yeah, check it out!

A Different Way by Seasoned Writing Fandom: Steven Universe Status: Incomplete Bout time I rec an SU fic. And while this one doesn’t have a lot of chapters, it does have a pretty interesting AU concept, so *shrugs* idk I like it, not a whole lot else to say about it though.

Tourmaline by Phantomrose96 Fandom: Steven Universe Status: Complete Goooooodddddd this one is just a fucking ANGST storm but its a damn good angst storm, one that really, REALLY makes you hurt for Steven and pre-redemption arc Peridot. Like I legit cried over this one because DAMN its something else. Go check it out like WOW

Ancient Roots by RandomButLoved Fandom: Legend of Zelda Status: Complete Gooooosh this one is absolutely GORGEOUS and it hurt me so much but I love it so much too! Such an incredibly crafted, heartwrecnhing AU of Skyward Sword, one that made me rethink pretty much the entire game! Its rare that roleswaps between Link and Zelda work so perfectly, but this one is as close to perfection as anyone has ever gotten before and I simply adore it. 

Dreamscarring by AnneriaWings Fandom: Gravity Falls Status: Oneshot Another angsty post-Sock Opera oneshot, and again, probably one of the ones that unconsciously influenced UF Sock Opera. Still, really angst, pretty brutal, but ultimately sweet and comforting and that’s what I like in my post-Sock Opera angst storms if Do It For Them was any indication of that. 

Heartbreaker by Queenie Z Fandom: Legend of Zelda Staus: Twoshot Yeeeee boi love me some HW angst involving Zelink and onesided Cialink. And this one’s honestly so beautiful, balancing the angst out with fluffy adorable romance and I simply love it. 

Finally by Kibasgirltsumi Fandom: Legend of Zelda Status: Complete This is honestly one of my faovirte fanfics of all time like for reals its so damn beautiful and so damn painful and so damn perfect and it strikes me in all the right places and my ship is so damn strong in it and so much happens and its just AUGH oh god I could go on forever with it its so fucking good

Tainted Tale by Flying.Penguin.97 Fandom: Legend of Zelda Status: Complete I’m a sucker for dark rouge protagonists fics, and I’m also a lover of Link angst so this one fucking did it for it. Also it has copious amounts of Ghirahim being a fucking fabulous asshole, so that’s fun and everything. This a good read. 

Convictions and Captivity by realfakedoors Fandom: Steven Universe Status: Incomplete AUGHGHGHG FUCK I haven’t even finished fully reading this one yet but DAMN SON IF IT AINT SOME OF THE MOST ANGSTY STEVEN UNIVERSE SHIT I”VE EVER READ again in an example of a fic that puts UF to shame with how damn dark it is this one goes fucking HARD and it HURTS ME but I love it and I really need to finish it because AUGH FUCK 

Ask the Right Questions by AceFace98 Fandom: Gravity Falls Status: Incomplete So the idea behind this one is a lot of fun and tbh this has quite a good bit of fluff and humor in it and hey I’m always for Mystery Twins bonding so yeah this one is neat check it out

Three Days by LynnLarsh Fandom: Gravity Falls Status: Oneshot And in an example of something from canon that will also turn incredibly angsty in UF when we get to Weirdmageddon, we get, what else, more Dipper angst! But yeah this one is sad like damn this poor kid wandered around a fucking desolate apocalyptic wasteland completely alone for three days and everyone seems to forget about that but this fic doesn’t and it HURTS and I like it a lot for that

Come Together by Winter_S_Jameson Fandom: Gravity Falls Status: Incomplete I love zodiac centric fics so this one I really enjoy a lot, in large part because it focuses on Ford realizing “oh shit maybe working with others can actually save the day how have I never thought about that before”. Its not super far along yet, but we get some Pines fam angst in there which is always good angst if ya ask me I’m down for that and I like it so ye ye ye ye

Anyway, I’ve Been There by Caleb Nova Fandom: Gravity Falls Status: Complete (but still updates occasionally) Strange how Dipifica is one of my primary OTPs but I’ve recced so far fics centered on those two in this list, huh? Well no more because this one has one of the best developments of the ship I’ve seen thus far. Its kinda slow burn and lowkey but in a really nice way and everyone feels so great and in character and Dipper and Pacifica are adorable together and ahhhh its so cute imo

A Conspiracy of Minerals by CompletelyDifferent Fandom: Gravity Falls/Steven Universe Status: Complete Waahhhhhha? A GF/SU fic writer reccing a GF/SU fic??? Tis madness! But yeah I read this way back before I even started writing UF anf loved it. Its mostly just a bunch of cute little oneshots but I do enjoy the few that are there. They’re pretty cute if ya ask me and the character interactions are sweet enough.

Let Me Clarify by carpenoctem22 Fandom: Gravity Falls Status: Oneshot Bunch more Dipifica cuteness, only this time a little aged up. Not a whole lot to say about it except for that its completely adorable. 

Twin Telepathy by blueechofreak Fandom: Gravity Falls Status: Oneshot What can I say but more post Sock Opera angst, only this time with a bit more Mystery Twins fluff added in so ya got that good old hurt/comfort in there, which always makes for a good time. 

Host by Neelh Fandom: Gravity Falls Status: Oneshot Some pretty artsy Pines family angst all around in this one, so yeah, good stuff. Pretty short, but still good. 

Lull by carpenoctem22 Fandom: Gravity Falls Status: oneshot Hey look, instead of Sock Opera angst we got post the Last Mabelcorn angst! As if that makes any difference imo its still angst no matter how much you cut it and that’s why I like it. 

Swear by carpetnoctem22 Fandom: Gravity Falls Status: oneshot Another take on those three days Dipper was wandering around during Weirdmageddon and also pretty fucking heartwrenchingly angsy so you know I like if if its that lol

Enough by Inkblot9 Fandom: Gravity Falls Status: oneshot A really sweet little bunch of fluff focusing on one of my favorite bonds in the entire show, that between Dipper and Ford, which is sadly not utilized enough in GF fics but here its done so adorably and sweet and such good family fluff and I love it

And yeah that’s about it for now. These were all the best ones I could find in all my lists. I’ll be sure to add onto this whenever I find new good fics. But yeah hopefully ya’ll got hooked up with some good fics here! I’ve been meaning to do this for a while, so I’m glad I finally got it carved out. Enjoy!