#(cause apparently he's a transformers nerd)

[dkettchen]

absolutely unintelligeable meme I made during bootcamp lecture this morning

[beatrixstonehill2]

"Sooo fucking horny right now. My big beautiful boobs are about to be destroyed tomorrow live in front of my new coworkers! I just started a job at this big tech company and of course everyone there are total nerds. A bunch of pervs who gawk at my breasts all day, make lewd comments, and grope me on the elevators or sometimes when I'm at my desk and they pass by. I tell them nicely I'm not interested, but they just laugh and continue playing with them and making fun of them.

I got a letter last week that said my breasts were of an unacceptable and unprofessional size, so they needed to be removed since they were causing so much distraction..... Not even reduced to a B-cup or whatever, my boobs are getting totally chopped off because these guys just can't keep it in their pants. Apparently my breasts are going to be taxidermized, stuffed, and put on a plaque in my boss's room with my picture. I actually went to my boss after I got this email and finally saw his office. There were about ten other plaques just like the one my boobs will be turned into.

I asked about the girls and he laughed, telling me, 'Oh, those wombs I used to have working here? They were transformed.' I pressed him on it, nervously. He told me, 'They were such lovely specimens, perfectly willing to embrace who they are--nothing but a mindless womb....' I felt uneasy, asking if I'd go through whatever they went through. He said I would. I'd give up my breasts to him as a souvenir to remember me by. Soon my clit would be removed, then, and he said this so casually it made me sooo horny, that I'd be losing my arms and legs, ad I'd be sold to a breeding farm, where I'd be kept pregnant the rest of my life with at least a dozen kids in my womb forever, getting fucked by countless men every day, treated like livestock, humiliated, branded, completely stripped of my humanity, turned into nothing but a few holes and a massively pregnant uterus, as I'm meant to be. I reminded him I have a Master's in computer science and he laughed again, telling me he knew better, and soon enough I'd finally get to serve my true purpose as nothing but a womb. I should be disgusted, I should want to quit...... instead, I can't wait to fulfill his desires. He couldn't be more right about me....."

[notedchampagne]

Bro the 6th familial relationships fuck me up so much like the weird Juno and Pal more of a mentor than a mother vibes? And it seems like from Dr Sex that her and Pal's dad are either divorced or just straight up had nothing to do with each other until the genomics department decided they should have a child together?? Like imagine you're a ruthless academic career-woman and one day you get an email from the government like 'congrats! You're a mother!' And they hand you a fresh vat baby that is half you and half your co-worker that you talked to one time at the Christmas party like??? I don't think I would have the most healthy relationship with that child either tbh

And Cam! Earlier in Nona when Pal and Pyrrha are talking about going to the park it is only Kiki that he mentions she might want to save, no mention that apparently both her parents are there too? Her entire family is on the line here. Then she doesn't want her dads to see the Paul transformation because they "wouldn't understand"? You just know there's some long running disagreement there with how far she's yoking herself in with Pal. Do you think they secretly resent him? Did this cause a rift in their family? And what did the conversation look like before or after the transformation? Did Cam tell them she was about to die? Or did they turn away for five seconds and she finally killed herself for her obsessions behind their back? Who broke the news to them? (Who is going to break the news to Pal's dad?) The whole thing just makes me insane!!!!

Also apparently there is some incredible nepotism going on in the 6th oversight body here (or maybe everything is nepotism on the 6th lol)

YOU GET ME i love the 6th house so so much the way the house functions both as a united family w their genetics & a university with the academic quibbling is so fun to me- the sixths weakness was described as "A sprawling organization of erratic loners, the Sixth are chaotic by nature and terrible at collective action." which is 1) hilarious. palamedes is the peoples marxist princess 2) just generally fascinating as a whole. if we take that at face value and consider the 6th house as populated by genius loner nerds, it actually makes sense that they prioritize sending out attractive people to diversify the gene pool - with reference to your statement: dr sex provided a nice handful of evidence that while palamedes and juno have a formal dynamic, theyre affectionate enough that they seem close (at most, to the extent of some gay kid and their favorite english teacher) but seeing juno like a distant mentor is most likely right

taking on more quotes from dr sex, i think its most likely that the Sixth house encourages child bearing / raising through subsidies and an extended work leave of sorts:

Palamedes said, “Enjoying parenting. Enjoying the parenting buyout, I should say. He’s only doing dissertation supervision—and half a year of Immediate History, of course—but he’s got his own projects on the go.”

alexandrites and nireids might be required to go offworld to flirt and have children (i think i came across another post floating somewhere noticing kiki and cam were half-sisters, implying their parent was one of the mentioned) but for residents staying in the sixth house, they probably have about 3-7 other people they could possibly produce children with outside of consanguinity. although forcing them to have children by way of vat birth etc etc is entirely possible in Hell Empire a lot of them probably gave in just for a few years of parental & academic benefits.

one last point - sixth house children canonically live in a dormitory! so if you consider a professor going on paid leave to raise children while doing their own projects for about 7-9 years, then going back to work while their children are sent to a dorm to do nothing but study and train with other peers their age, it falls together so perfectly bro. it makes so much sense. of course pal and cam are nice to their parents but rarely ever close - they were most likely raised and taught communally! god i love worldbuilding

[fumblefeatures]

Peter Parker has lost so much in his life. His parents, his uncle, his first love, his best friends... Every single one pushing him further down into the ocean of loss Spider-Man would cause him, each one bringing him closer to drowning under its crashing waves. And every time he still pulled his head back up and kept swimming.

But none of it prepared him for what he lost next; himself. After trying to stop the super collider in Fisk's basement from destroying all of reality (again), Peter is ripped away from his home and shot somewhere else entirely. Somewhere he should've never been able to reach. Not another universe, another multiverse...

Landing in Gotham, he begins making friends with the strange Bat-themed vigilantes that guard the gothic city only to find out that he wasn't the only one sent to this world... Nor is he the only one making 'friends'.

Now Peter must find his rogues who are starting to cause trouble in this new world of opportunity. All while struggling with the loss of himself, trying to fit into a new family (or two), and other, more symbiotic, problems.

Miles Morales has a different problem, everyone thinks Peter is dead. And he's determined to prove them wrong...

------

Hello, I'm a person who writes fanfiction sometimes, here's my work on ao3 (though it can also be found on FF.net if you are so inclined), Spider Lost...

It's about a nerd being blasted through the multiverse and waking up with a headache in another city.

That city apparently is pretty famous for being a bit rough... But blimps!!!

Please check it out if you like Spidey in Gotham fics, also not an MCU Spider-Man, but not exactly comics Spidey either, imagine a mix of Spectacular and Ultimate with a dribbling of Insomniac and 616...

[funmalibmillie]

Can you tell that I had way too much making the first half of this pic if I made up some supportive images on Canva for it? I'll be posting the images I did that accompany my new bkdk fanfic piece "Ripple" on Archive of our own. Check out Chapter 1 of Ripple: Chapter 1: Denki Bares the News

---------------

It’s the morning before the celebration of the New Year 2200 and this was a rare opportunity for Best Jeanist to give Katsuki some time off from hero work. Alright, Alright…gave is putting it lightly. Forced. Forced is more like it. Katsuki told Billie Jeans that he was fine. He’s just had a lot on his mind recently which made him just a tiny-smidgen-you-can’t-even-see-it-through-a-microscope upset! A lot being a green haired, green eyed freckled asswipe that has haunted his every wet dream almost every night since the end of the war in their first year. His hand has amazing stamina at this point. He just…can’t tell Deku his feelings for obvious reasons. Katsuki has been breaking his ass to reach his childhood goal of the Number 1 Hero spot. There is no time for shitty extras and sappy romances; they’ll just get in his way and he’ll never be number 1 with such distractions. Especially when one of the people in his damn way right now is Deku ranking 5th in the recent fucking hero charts with Katsuki at the 6th! THE 6TH! Stupid Nerd! Stupid Starry Freckles! Stupid Blinding Smile! Stupid Forest-laden Eyes! Stupid Chiseled Greek God Body! Stupid Voice that got deeper as they got older and now sounds like vocal chocolate that Katsuki wanted to lick into oblivion! S-Stupid EVERYTHING! Everything is out of order! First is Katsuki (ALWAYS) and then Deku (IF HE’S LUCKY!). So Katsuki Bakugo does NOT have time to take a vacation or date or do any other distracting thing when he could be doing more to up his ranks! Seriously, Universe?? Go fuck yourself.

Billie Jeans seems to disagree and thinks Katsuki’s “unwillingness” to not stay after work; his increased—albeit-already-abnormally-high-for-your-average-22-year-old—irritability toward anyone simply breathing; and his not-so-subtle-but-totally-not-a-big-deal “ExTReMe UsE oF FooORCe” as obnoxiously mentioned by the media on small-time villains will get in the way of his hero work. 

Standing high on his designer Levi-branded soapbox, Denim Head went on the same rant he’s told Bakugo over a thousand times about how similar he was to the younger man as a hot-headed, childish, and arrogant new hero years ago. He paid a high price for his cockiness one day, when due to his lack of attention, a villain he apprehended broke loose, causing the death of a civilian and a still-missing child. That incident forever changed the way the fashion hero performed his duties, and he’s never stopped looking for the missing kid. He targeted the hot-headed ash blond because he didn’t want Katsuki to make a similar mistake and—blah blah blah. 

Shit happens, ok?! I mean, Katsuki’s not heartless anymore, but he still knows that things don’t always come out perfect in a hero/villain situation. Jeansie didn’t go into much detail, but it wasn’t his fault, it was the villain’s. Right? Right. As for Katsuki, this was totally unrelated. So what if the younger blond hero used a howitzer impact on a petty purse thief last month? Makes the shitty villain more convinced to not do it or other crap like that again. Faster reform for the snatcher and a bigger message to the remaining extras in Japan who might want to try the same stupid crap on his watch. It’s win-win situation, right? But NNoOoOooOo. Apparently, that and yelling at reporters and making 1 or 2…or 4 dispatch workers cry within the last 5 days is means for Billie Jeans to give his explosive ash blonde sidekick of 3 years an ultimatum—take at least two weeks of earned leave or take two months of suspension from hero work. Guess which one Katsuki picked?

Sigh…so there he was. Begrudgingly at the favorite brunch restaurant of his Bakusquad (Raccoon Eyes, Soy Sauce Face, Shitty Hair, Ears, and Sparkplug), on the verge of getting kicked out since Damn Denki can’t hold his alcohol from the bottomless mimosas the table ordered. Katsuki doesn’t drink alcohol frequently and if he does, he has his reasons, but he doesn’t get shit-faced like the rest of his (don’t-tell-them-this) friends. It’s just wet carbs to him and he’s on a tight eating regime and sleep schedule. Mina is currently laughing her ass off and trying in vain to prevent the Chargedolt from getting on top of the table and singing a recent pop song VERY off-key. Soy Sauce Face and Shitty Hair are loudly yucking away about the MMA fighter line-up coming this weekend and Ears is just sitting coolly and seemingly unaffected…oh she has noise reduction buds on (good idea). And out of the corner of his eye, a poor young waitress stands off to the side, shaking her head, which Katsuki is sure he hears her say before she storms away, throwing off her apron: “They don’t pay me enough for this shit.” Tch. Same, Girl. Same.

“Guys! Guys!” loudly slurs the blonde electric hero. Luckily, it was was too early in the morning to be that crowded, but Mina’s always anticipated the rowdiness of the crew and booked a semi secluded area of the restaurant. 

“Keep it down, Denks!” Demands Mina.

“Got it!” Continues Denki at the same volume. “Did you hear? Shindo is gonna propose to Midoriya tonight at the New Year’s Hero Gala!”

(Cue Record Needle Scratch) SCCCRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEECCCCCCHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

 “HHHHHAAAAAANNNNNHHHHH???!!!!!!!” Katsuki interjects, hiding a twinge of sadness and jealousy under his signature angry scowl. He knew of Deku and Pan-Quake dating but didn’t think they were that serious. 

Mina: “Oh, yeah, you didn’t know Blasty?”

Katsuki (tries to not express his annoyance): “Tch. My guess is Pan-Quake is just trying to use Dumbass Deku for his hero ranking to boost himself up.”

“Uh…” Speaks Kirishima, “Kats, I don’t know about that. I think Shindo’s been serious from the get-go about Mido since the provisional licensing exam.”

Sero mentions brightly: Literally swooped him off his feet that day!

“Haven’t they only been dating for about 8 months?” Asks Jiro, she seems to be suddenly engaged with conversation now that the voices have returned to reasonable decibels. 

Sero: Yeah, but I think they’ve been off and on for the past couple of years. They’ve known each other for while, and they work at the same agency now, right? Mirko’s?

Denki (Sighs slowly while staring into the distance, sitting his chin in the palm of his hand): Oh, yes. My lavender lover is at Mirko’s, too!

Jiro (smirking): So is Momo.

Kirishima (bringing the conversation back to the greenie): I think Yo-kun’s been chasing after Midobro since he got back from his overseas mission after we all graduated. 

Mina: Naw, even before then too, Babe. Remember when all the hero schools partnered more after the war? Whenever we combined with Ketsubutsu, Yo-kun had nothing but heart eyes for Midoriya then too.

Denki (coming back to earth): Well…If my gossip is right, and it always is, Shindo is going all in. Even the Sahara Desert doesn’t compare to his thirst for the green bean.

Sero: Didn’t Izuku save him from Muscular when he went on his vigilante shit?

Denki: Holy fuck, you’re right!

Mina: No wonder he’s head over-heels!

Jiro: I mean, yeah, have you guys even seen the new magazine highlighting the top 5 heroes recently??

Oh…Um…Yeah…Katsuki definitely saw the new magazine and NO he didn’t get it because of the shitty nerd even though that was his first time buying the magazine since All Might retired. He got it for…for…analytical purposes…yeah…ANALYTICAL PURPOSES for when he outranks Deku in the next hero billboard charts in a few months. Nice to get an idea of what they’ll ask him when he hits top 5. And NO, Katsuki absolutely didn’t go home and read and reread the entire article on Deku for over 45 minutes completely ignoring the rest of the magazine. And under NOcircumstances-NONE-NADA-ZERO-did he jerk off once or twice or four to Stupid Deku’s photo spread! Katsuki was still having a hard time focusing, not just on the magazine which he may or may not take out later for more analytical purposes, but marriage? The nerd? To some extra like the human vibrator of all people? Didn’t Deku have standards? And plus, aren’t they all too young? Yeah, they’ve seen some shit with the war and everything, but for Katsuki, that only fueled him to get to his dreams faster of being the number 1 hero, not…ya-know…fall in love or anything like that. Or admit his love to Number 5 for that matter. He’s had a few flings and one-night stands to get the edge off, but he’s not longed for anything beyond that, well…it doesn’t help perhaps that he mostly imagined his partners with freckled and scarred skin, green hair and green eyes, but still.

Kirishima: Woof. Who hasn’t seen it? Our little Greenie’s come a long way, hasn’t he? Super ma—

Denki: —I’d like to make him come a long way, if you catch my—

Jiro: Puh-lease Denks, it’s 10 in the morning!!!

Denki: Okay! Okay. Either way, it’s definitely happening tonight. My sources—

Kirishima: What sourc—

Denki: Doesn’t matter. My sources say that Shindo No-Mo-Ho has had the ring since the summertime, and was actually planning on taking our Mido to Yuuga’s Restaurant and Vineyard to propose then, but ya know…hero work and all that.

Sero: Did you say Yuuga’s? As in Aoyama Yuuga? 

Mina: Yes, the one who refused to tell us how or why he managed to bitch Mineta.

Jiro: In all fairness, Grape Juice was a sick bitch to begin with.

Denki: He goes by WineNDine now. Remember? Either way, Whatever magic or quirk our blond drag glitter queen pulled, had Mineta singing a new tune when we came back as second years.

Katsuki found himself tuning them out on their next wave of gossip, his thoughts going toward a man of green. As a matter of fact, when was the last time he talked with Deku? Like really talked? Was it Auntie’s and All Might wedding a year and a half ago? Shit. He really dropped the ball in keeping up with him. Izuku texts him every now and again, but Katsuki rarely responds back and if he does, it’s normally short responses. Nothing to keep the conversation going. Now that he thinks about it, he hasn’t heard from the nerd in a while.

Mina (reaching over the table to wave a hand in Bakugo’s face): Blasty…Yoohoo?! Are you still on earth with us?

Katsuki (shaking out of his daze): SHUT THE HELL UP!

Denki: Ah, there he is. So…how are you feeling about this Kats?

Katsuki: Fuck do you mean. Dunce Face?

Kirishima: Come on Bakubro, we all know you’ve been pining for Mido for a long LONG time now. Holding in your true feelings’ not very ma—

Katsuki: —I don’t know what you’re talking about.

Throwing up their hands together in perfect practiced choreography, Jirou, Kirishima, Sero, Mina and Denki all grunt in unison: UGH, HERE WE GO AGAIN!

Katsuki: WHAT?!

Kirishima: Seriously?! Bakubro, how long are you going to do this for?!

Sero: Well…you know what guys? Now that I think about it, it’s too late isn’t it?

Mina: To tell the truth? It’s never too late for that, even it’s just to get it off your chest. –nods at Sero then returns her attention to the irate blond—Blasty, you’ve almost died! Both of you! All of us! Multiple times! None of those moments ever showed you that maybe—just maybe—that life is too short to handle your relationship—

Denki: Or lack thereof

Mina (continues over Denki): —the way you do?

Jiro: We all know he confessed to you the night of the graduation party.

Katsuki: Wha-how do you know that, Ears?!

Kirishima glared at Katsuki—a rare sighting on his normally happy-go-lucky friend: Bro, because he asked us for advice on how to approach you about it. 

Oh no. The nerd got the squad involved? Shit. 

Sero (voice downcast): Yeah, Kats, he wanted to see if we might know how you’d respond.

Denki: We all told him yes, that you…

Katsuki: —that I what?

Mina: that you liked—maybe even loved—him beyond the platonic sense.

Jiro: Yeah, Bakugo, the signs were all there. By our 3rd year—hell even before then—you shifted when it came to Midoriya. You may have spewed the regular insult, but it didn’t have as much bite as it did as in our first year.

Kirishima: When you two sparred or went out on your internships or just hung out with everyone during game night, you were a Wonder Duo. Like you two worked so perfectly in sync as if you were made for each other—on and off the field. It was incredible to see that, it was super ma—

Sero: —Plus, it was the way you looked at him sometimes Kats. Don’t think we never noticed. By the time we graduated, you would get more and more “angry”—sero puts up air quotation marks—by the tiniest stuff Midoriya would do. You paid attention to him more; you’re damn eyes were pretty glued to him.

Denki: You even smiled more! God, the first time that happened, I thought you were demon possessed! I was half tempted to asked you for your TIC (Toga Identity Code)!

Mina: So, imagine our surprise on graduation night, when you came back down from the roof top alone huffing and puffing with poor Midoriya nowhere in sight? We only learned later that he locked himself in his room for two days only to suddenly pop out afterward and tell everyone he’d taken a job overseas for a year.

Of course Katsuki remembers that night. Too fucking well actually. While he has many regrets he refuses to voice—other than his apology for how he treated Izuku when he was younger—the one he made that night…made the top spot.

----

CUE FLASHBACK START: MAY 11, 2196

On graduation night, bathed in the twilight's bittersweet purples and pinks, Izuku mustered his courage. Sweat coated his palms, and his heartbeat reverberated in his ears like a dolorous chant. The time had come. 

Katsuki always paid close attention to details. It was in those details he found his next move. Always a man of action. Every knoll and cranny of the UA whispered tales of his own journey of a hero in training. For three years, they had been together — him, his friends, and his insecurities, and most interestingly…Izuku. The feelings that blossomed for the greenie over time were just as vibrant as the man itself. Tonight as he followed Izuku to the UA rooftop, the echoes of his past were overpowered by the pulsating rhythm of his heart.

The door to the rooftop creaked under their history, blending with the laughter of nervous anticipation. 

"Isn't it beautiful?" Izuku asked, gesturing to the vast cityscape bathed in the moon's tender glow. The neon lights flickered on and off like fireflies.

Katsuki nodded hesitatingly, attempting to purge the sinking feeling from his heart and replace it with the grandeur of the scene. Everything to Katsuki was Izuku. The latter had been a constant. The anchor in his raging storm, keeping Katsuki together and grounding him though he didn’t admit it.  But there was a strange energy in the air tonight, a sense that something irrevocable was on the brink.

"I've, uh, I've wanted to tell you something for a while now, Kacchan," Izuku began, drawing Katsuki's attention away from captivating view of the city they’ve saved countless times as a Wonder Duo to the more mesmerizing view of the man beside him. This wasn't the same scrawny, quirkless boy who Katsuki betrayed and used as a punching bag. This Deku was different. This was Izuku.

At first glance, he would pass as the person the blond used to know. Same green eyes that sparkled with peridots and emeralds, but these held an added depth to them, hardened like a diamond under pressure. His hair was still viridian evergreen but ran wild like tiger stripes, earning him an air of rugged charm. His well-worn ridiculous ‘T-Shirt’ t-shirt hugged his bulkier frame, revealing the physical testament to a sudden life of heroics as the ninth and final wielder of One for All. Katsuki examined Izuku, his heart squirmed in its cage, caught off guard by an overwhelming rush of emotions. God…could the nerd have looked more glorious? 

His voice trembled slightly, “Kacchan, I…uhm…”

Katsuki’s never been a man of words. Neither was he a patient one and his nervousness definitely didn’t help lighten the mood, but he barked with no bite: “Spit it out, nerd. Haven’t we gotten past you being nervous and shit around me?”

Izuku: Well, it’s…this…is not that easy.

Katsuki: Come out with it, dumbass, I ain’t getting any younger!

Izuku: I love you! Or rather I like you a lot. But like…like like. Is that too much? I just—”

Izuku rambled on but the world spun around Katsuki, and he didn’t hear a damn thing. A strange feeling, a cocktail of excitement, relief, and dread, settled in his gut. The confession mirrored the blonde’s feelings and stirred a gale in his heart yet; he utterly feared the repercussions. He wanted Izuku. Gods, he wanted him. Strip him bare, bend Deku over and ram into his ass right then and there with all the stars and holy hosts watching above them, but Katsuki couldn’t. The blond didn’t want to address those types of feelings. Not right now. After dying at the war and learning of the sacrifices made to keep him alive, he became even more determined to pursue his dream of the Number 1 Hero spot. He didn’t want to make time for…this…but in the future, yes. Oh gods yes, Izuku please. And if he was honest, he felt Deku deserved better. Preferably someone who didn’t come up with the name “Deku.” Someone who didn’t hurt him. Someone equally loyal and bright and blinding. Izuku’s freckled Adonis body only knew Katsuki’s hands as an abuser, a bully, a rival, and the blond didn’t know if his hands could be anything else for Izuku beyond that. Coming back from his thoughts and catching the nerd in a mutter, his heart ached at his decision.

Izuku: “I-I have been in love with you for—uhm—for…geez…ever? I just didn’t want for both of us to graduate today and not tell you how I fe—

Katsuki couldn't meet his gaze, feeling himself a traitor: I don’t love you.

Silence followed his declaration — pure and unwavering, casting a hallowed spell over them.

Izuku, the bright ray of sunshine that he his…Izuku’s smile didn't falter, but in his eyes were trees of the deepest rainforest rocked and bent relentlessly back and forth from a hurricane of hurt. Katsuki wanted to take the words back then and there. The blond cared for him, loved him with a passion as explosive as his quirk, but his own insecurities and fears of commitment clouded his senses. He was too afraid to accept that he could be enough for Izuku, that he could, in fact, love him, worship him the way Deku deserved.

Izuku: I….oh. Oh. I…

Katsuki eyes brimmed with an uncanny mixture of regret and guilt. He tried to hide his hitching breath, and he felt the world beneath them give away.

Katsuki: Sor-, I-, Deku, Y-you need get over me. Get over this. I-I’m s…I just. I’m not in love with you like that.

Izuku (stutter completely gone): I understand. Thanks for being straightforward, Kacchan.

Katsuki: Tch. W-whatever nerd. We won’t speak of this again. This will stay between us, y-yeah? Just—let’s just get back downstairs.

Izuku: I’ll head down in a minute. –wipes at a tear falling down his cheek— Enjoy the party.

Leaving Izuku on the rooftop, Katsuki returns to the commotion below. Despite the masses moving with Jiro’s music, he can feel eyes on him as he made his way to kitchen. 

Kirishima looks nervously at Sero, Mina, and Denki before speaking: “Bakubro, y-you um-“

“What Shitty Hair?” huffs the blond, irritated by the existence of people in general at the moment, saddling roughly at the kitchen island bar.

“Nothing Blasty, here’s a drink!”  Interrupts Mina, giving Kiri a woeful smile and a slight shake of the head. “Congrats on uh…getting an offer at Best Jeanist’s Agency.”

“Tch. Of fucking course. What would Billie Jeans do without me?” He spits, his eyes never making contact with theirs’s.

Denki shakes his head and offers a wince that passes as a tired smile. He sighs. “Yeah. Yeah Kat. Congrats.”

The night weighed on Katsuki like no other. When the nerd returned from the US, he became an even greater force to be reckoned with: more confident in his sense of self, more fluid in his quirk, more socially adept, more devastatingly beautiful, and Katsuki just didn’t know what to feel. His feelings never changed for Deku; they only deepened. As they deepened, Katsuki grew more distant.

FLASH BACK END.

Katsuki can barely form a coherent thought. He needed some time to himself. The nerd wasn’t seriously tying the knot right now was he? They’re in their 20’s for Kami sake, should they be really thinking about heavy crap like marriage when they have the rest of their lives to go for that sappy shit? And why fucking Pan-Quake? Katsuki abruptly rises from his seat, grabs his wallet and puts cash on the table for his portion of the meal. He’ll get to the bottom of this.

Katsuki: Just leave it alone, guys. As long as the nerd is…happy.

Kirishima: Kat. We were just—

Katsuki makes a predatorial glare at the squad before pacing out: Leave. It. Alone.

Denki (woefully too inebriated to care about the death glare): Wait, where are you headed out to, Kats?

Katsuki (already walking away shouts over his shoulder): Picking up some shit for the old hag! Now, fuck off!

As the blond makes his way out toward his car, he whips out his phone to do something he realizes he hasn’t done in a while: initiate contact with Izuku. Upon closer inspection of the text message dates when he presses send, he comes to a startling discovery:

“Holy shit. How did I forget the nerd’s birthday?”

[hierarchyproblem]

1, 7, 9, 11, 17

what are 3 things you’d say shaped you into who you are?

the spirit of God who is transforming me from one degree of glory to another

many many friends, some who i'm still in touch with and some who i'm not, some who i've known for decades and some who are new

the history of the thought and practice of the global anarchist and communist movements. legitimately that probably is top 3. nerd behaviour i know

what scares you the most and why?

i've come to terms with the fact that the world's gonna get worse faster than we can organise to prevent it, and i don't think i've ever been afraid of death, so i guess that just leaves the mundane sufferings of life. pain, rejection, loss, y'know. the ordinary little shit

tell a story about your childhood

i don't really remember this, 'cause i'd've been like three or four, but apparently at preschool i frequently used to wander into the head's office and sit there and talk at him for like an hour at a time while he was sending his emails or whatever his actual job was. this was at the second preschool i attended; the first one gently suggested to my parents that they remove me because i was too disruptive. go figure

what do you consider to be romance?

when someone finds me as desirable as i do them

name 3 things that make you happy

finishing a long and difficult book

listening to a band for the first time and finding that the music is exactly my shit

pub with friends

[epistolizer]

Hit & Run Commentary #150

Will those celebrating the transformation of Victoria Secret from a fashion show into a podcast also demand that the Chip and Dale dancers dump the muscular men in favor of thin bookish nerds?

Bush Regime Homeland Security Functionary Tom Ridge has been rushed to the hospital following a stroke caused by a blood clot. Wonder if he recently relented to Plague Cult Alchemy.

George P. Bush has launched a campaign for the Attorney Generalship of Texas. With no other viable candidates for President, the young Bush eventually actively supported Trump. For such, he was accused of betraying his family. But don’t any other time leftists and progressives celebrate those that so openly defecate on the values of their respective families as just a normal part of the maturation process?

And when minorities can’t afford the mortgages with which they demand to be lavished for simply not being White, I guess it will also be Whitey’s fault when the properties are lost or the owners are forced to labor in order to retain them.

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (Lady Mao) ruminated on the tragedy of tossing human beings into what she described as human garbage bins. If so, has she spoken out against those taken into custody during the Capitol Kerfuffle languishing in jail over what amounts to little more than a glorified trespassing violation?

If the Autarch is so concerned about crime, why doesn't he also take actions against knives?

Wonder if these Pentagon elites that can drone on and on about the boogeyman of White supremacy are as eloquent and schooled in the intricacies of the Islamist, Antifa, and Black Lives Matter threats.

The Loudon County school board members forbidding clapping most likely this time last year called for the defunding of the police had very little to say negatively regarding the joint Antifa/Black Lives Matter campaign to redistribute other people’s property.

Apparently applauding in regards to statements with which one agrees pertaining to public policies one opposes is an outrage that cannot be countenanced but looting merchants in response to certain judicial rulings is.

As part of the Autarch’s anti-Second Amendment agenda, it is being proposed that those who deal in firearms whose merchandise ends up being used in a nefarious manner even if the dealer violated no other discernible regulation should be held liable.  So if heart attacks rise above a certain level in a particular area, should the fast food establishments located there be held responsible?

On an episode of Batwoman laced with even more propaganda than usual, the crime was depicted as particularly outrageous not because an innocent man was shot by privatized police but because the victim was an innocent BLACK man. So is that somehow more tragic than Bruce Wayne’s father Thomas getting murdered, the event that spurred the young lad into eventually becoming Batman? Perhaps Thomas Wayne got what he deserved as part of the maligned “One Percent”. And when future audiences are retold the origins of the Dark Knight, should the new narrative be that the Caped Crusader embarked on the quest to avenge the death of his White parents if viewers need to be deliberately told the ethnicity of the actor portraying the victim before their very eyes?

Speech codes have banned the term “powwow” for being culturally insensitive. Instead it has been suggested that the term “gathering” be used. But isn’t that potentially triggering to Highlander fans? For in that series, the Gathering was the time when the Immortals commenced the ritualized killing of one another.

In an oration, the Autarch sympathetically explicated why Blacks and Hispanics are reluctant to submit to Plague Cult alchemy. Yet his doctor bride was much more critical of Tennesseans just as skeptical regarding injectable pharmacological elixirs. If the concerns of minorities are to be addressed with gingered sensitivity, Evangelicals concerned about prophetic implications, Catholics regarding pro-life concerns, and libertarians opposed to invasive government intrusion are worthy of just as much respect.

Travel guides are published to showcase the most noteworthy attractions an area has to offer. No doubt one of the most prestigious placements in such is the inside front cover. As such, are we to assume that Durham, North Carolina has little more going for it than a neon depiction of the female reproductive tract complete with boxing gloves as ovaries?

Shannon Bream of Fox News is a devout Christian. So much so that she published a regarded book on women of the Bible. It is too bad her theological thinking is deficient in that she mockingly chuckled on the 6/28/21 episode of America Reports at the hypothesis that unidentified aerial phenomena might be interdimensional in nature. Will she be as dismissive in regards to the terminology to describe how other spiritual realities such as the Resurrection or the Afterlife interact with the temporo-spatial continuum?

Contrary to a public service announcement sponsored by the U.S. Airforce, that branch of the military does not exist to promote diversity. It exists to assert technological superiority in the expanse above the territory of the United States in pursuit of the nation's defense.

Teacher union president defends Critical Race Theory as teaching accurate history. Mind you, these were the same postmodernist subversives this time 30 years ago insisting that a singular version of history did not exist. Rather, the discipline merely consisted of competing narratives regarding what is hegemonically referred to as the past.

The Autarch is threatening to send plague alchemy gestapo door to door. Am sure that will play well in the sticks.

Nearly two decades ago, no doubt many of the Democratic legislators patriotically singing on the steps of the Capitol following the 9/11 attack now side with necromongering ideologies and worldviews bent on toppling traditionalist understandings of America.

So a certain social media mogul can post video of himself riding a hydrofoil surfboard waving an American flag but to his fellow technocrats you are a threat to regime solidarity if you use your air conditioner.

Teachers Unions claim that these organizations want to defend the right of pedagogues to teach controversial epistemologies such as Critical Race Theory. To be consistent, these guilds should issue a similar proclamation in defense of Creationism or Intelligent Design forthwith.

Now it's claimed a third jab of the Plague Cult alchemy may be required. Where do the demands end? Brings to mind Picard's line from Star Trek: First Contact about continually falling back at the relentless advance of the Borg.

The Autarch’s chief propagandist admonished that criticizing of Plague Cult mendicants with the charism of evangelizing on behalf of the sacredotal alchemy among infidel peasants groveling in their hovels is a disservice to the regime and its dedicated sorcerers. That’s pretty much the same excuse invoked to crack down on free speech throughout the megadictatorships marring the twentieth century. Will those that deliberately remain on enhanced unemployment despite jobs being available will also be accused of doing the nation a disservice?

The Secretary of Health & Human Services insisted it is indeed the state’s business as to who has not acquiesced to Plague Cult alchemy because of how much it has spent fighting the pestilence. In other words, you are nothing more than the government’s whore.

If you can be arrested for not showing up for jury duty, why shouldn't the fugitive Texas legislators be arrested for a similar violation of the law?

The Autarch claims that those who question Plague Cult Alchemy are killing people. As such, the regime insists it is justified in gathering intelligence in order to curtail the dissemination of counterrevolutionary perspectives. So on what grounds do these progressive sorts gripe about any bit of information J. Edgar Hoover might have collected?

Does the Autarch intend to as carefully monitor the communications of Antifa and Black Lives Matter?

Regime propagandist Jen Psaki suggested that those spreading content categorized as disinformation should be banned from ALL social media platforms. It is assured that such is not censorship and in accord with free market principles. If so, shouldn’t it be up to each platform to decide which content will be allowed or forbidden rather than the state making such a determination?

If the vaccinated are able to contract and spread plague, don’t they bear as much responsibility for spreading the plague as the accursed Neo-Lepers?

For all this panic about the increase in Plague, it seems the death rates are still pretty much flat.

If boycotts are organized of venues that require proof of plague cult alchemy, why should we give an excrement if they go out of business?

So employers are pitching fits that they already can’t find enough workers, yet the tyrants holding power want fired the workers refusing to consent to this Mark of the Beast prototype

A private business is theoretically free to deny services to those that have not embraced invasive Plague Cult sacraments. They also ought to be forced to live with the financial ruination and repercussions of such a decision.

So apparently those insisting opposing same sex matrimony is an egregious denial of human liberties would deny the very right to eat for those withstanding the herd consensus on a dubious alchemical elixir.

A social justice degree. And what exactly does that train one for, life as an Antifa looter? If one had a legitimate academic interest in that topic, there is no reason such studies could not be pursued within the context of more traditional academic disciplines such as History, Political Science, Philosophy, or even Sociology. Unless of course the real reason for such a formalized major is that these subjects are too rigorous for those pursuing such a scholastic path.

By Frederick Meekins

[celestial-kit]

Welcome to the Internet

Bakugo is a problem solver and doesn’t like when his friends are upset. 

Pairing: Bakugo x reader, with Kirishima and Mina

Warnings: Fluff, Comfort, Harassment, Stalking, Reader receives unsolicited messages and pictures that are disturbing

______________________________________________________________

You were sick of creeps on the internet. It seemed like ever since you turned 18, there had been an influx of weird men in your DMs, sending you unsolicited messages and pictures. This was apparently exacerbated by a reddit thread that rated girls that attended UA when they turned 18, and you were unfortunate enough to rank near the top of the list.

Recently, there was one person online who you couldn’t seem to get rid of. They would follow you, send you unsettling messages, you would block them, and then they would make a new account and follow you again. It seemed to be a never ending cycle and you weren’t sure how to make it end. 

Tonight, it was especially annoying. You were trying to study, sprawled out with your books on the floor of Bakugo’s room with Mina and Kirishima, both of whom were crying about not understanding the material. Your phone was face down on the ground, in the space between you and Bakugo, and every few minutes you would feel the soft buzz from your notifications. 

It was clear Kirishima and Mina didn’t notice it, they were too busy being distressed that they were going to fail the exam. But, you knew that Bakugo noticed. Every time your phone vibrated, you could see his angry red eyes flit to where it sat and they would narrow for a second before returning to his study materials. After the 15th vibration, however, he had had enough. 

“Alright, who the fuck is texting you?” he yelled, swiping the phone off the floor and quickly inputting your passcode to open it. His eyes went wide when he saw the array of messages and pictures flooding your phone. You didn’t know exactly what they said, but you had an idea. They probably described how your stalker wanted to gag you, bound you, and use you against your will. They also probably included several grainy and off putting photos of his wrinkly, shriveled cock. You didn’t say anything, you just watched as Bakugo scrolled through the messages and his face transformed from shock to disgust. 

“Jesus Christ, who is this?” he asked, using his fingers to zoom in on one of the pictures. Kirishima and Mina had long since abandoned their studies to look over Bakugo’s shoulder as he examined the contents of your phone. Mina gasped, horrified, with a hand over her mouth while Kirishima screwed his face up, evidently angry at the messages you were receiving.

“Yeah, who is this guy? It’s so unmanly for him to send you stuff like this, we gotta find out who he is!” he puffed his chest out, looking like he was getting ready for a fight. 

You shrugged your shoulders, leaning back on your hands and rolling your head back to look at the ceiling. “I’ve no idea. Some guy who I keep trying to block, but he just makes new accounts and sends me… that.” You wave your hand in the general direction of your phone as you look back at your friends. You could tell by the looks on their faces that they were concerned, and rightfully so. You were pretty upset by the harassment, but you weren’t sure what else you could do at this point.

Bakugo’s eyes narrowed at you, and then he pushed himself to a standing position and mumbled “Fuck this” before storming out of his room with your phone. You blinked as his door slammed shut behind him and then looked at your two remaining friends, who looked equally as puzzled.

Two hours later, you were laying on Bakugo’s bed with Mina, watching TikToks, while Kirishima struggled through a math problem. When Bakugo burst through his door, he spared a glance to where you were laying and grumbled, “Get off my bed.” Then, he threw your phone in your direction and sat down to help a grateful Kirishima with his problem.

“Where did you go?” you asked as you leaned your elbow on his pillow and opened your phone, finding that the harassing messages were gone and the user was blocked on your social media. 

“I had one of the nerds in the support course track that loser's IP address and block it on your phone. Got his name too and reported him to the police for harassment,” he said this matter of factly while he grabbed a pencil and scribbled away on Kirishima’s homework. You sat up fully and gawked at him for a minute, before he finally looked back at you with a scowl on his face.

“Next time someone does some shit like that to you, you better not try to hide it. Tell us so we can help, stupid,” he pointed his finger at you and spit as he spoke, clearly angry at the situation. Even still, you couldn’t help the warmth that spread in your chest at the thought of how much he must care about you. 

“Thank you, Katsuki,” you say sincerely, gripping your phone to your chest.

“Tch,” he scoffed at the use of his given name. “I said, get off my bed, dumbass.” Then, he reached over and grabbed your ankle, yanking you off his mattress and causing your butt to land harshly on the ground. 

[ectoentity]

Late Night Answers

Ectoberhaunt Day 5: Witching hour vs Twilight

Fandom: Danny Phantom

Rating: G

Characters: Danny Fenton, Kitty, Johnny 13

Tags: Witching hour, ghost culture?

Danny keeps waking up in the middle of the night. The same exact time every night. He decides to take a flight around town and runs into a couple ghosts who're willing to give him some answers.

Read on AO3 here.

Danny’s eyes opened. It was night. Above him, the stars on his ceiling gave off a dim glow. He was still wrapped in his blanket. There was no cold ache in his throat that would indicate his ghost sense had woken him up.

He glanced at his alarm clock. The red numbers read 3:00. Danny grumbled and turned on his side, away from the clock, and tried to go back to sleep. This was the third night this had happened. For the last two nights he’d woken up at exactly three in the morning for no reason. He’d tossed and turned in bed until around four.

This night apparently wasn’t much different. He laid in bed for about ten minutes, but his brain just kept going back to worries about the next day. It wasn’t restful at all. Danny sat up and wiped the sleep from his eyes. If he was going to be awake for a while, he should at least do something useful.

In a flash of light Danny transformed. He flew through the wall into the chilly night air. He could feel the cold against his face, but it didn’t bother him like it would a normal human. There was no moon tonight - it had set before nightfall - but he could see perfectly well. Danny decided to head towards the city park. The night was fairly quiet. There were some cars on the roads, but not very many. Just a few night shift workers and late night travelers.

His ghost sense went off when he was halfway to the park. It felt familiar: kind of spiky but not painful or aggressive. Danny was slowly getting better at identifying ghosts based on how his ghost sense felt, but it was more of an art than a science. He had no idea who this could be. Who would be out at the park in the middle of the night and not causing havoc?

The sound reached him before he saw who it was. A motorcycle revved its engines, and someone shrieked in joy. It had to be Johnny, Shadow, and Kitty. Danny landed near the park fountain. They didn’t seem to be causing much trouble aside from being loud. He sat on the edge of the fountain and waited for them to come around again. It wasn’t long before Johnny’s ghostly bike flew in from the opposite area from where they’d left. As expected, Kitty was hugging Johnny as he did some spins that would have been dangerous if they’d still been alive. They rose up on the front wheel of the bike and spun three times before landing again. Then Johnny pulled into an empty parking spot in front of the fountain.

“Hey, kid,” Johnny called. “Surprised it took you so long to come out.”

Danny shrugged. “Didn’t seem like you were really causing trouble tonight.”

Behind Johnny, Kitty giggled. “You mean the last three nights?” she asked.

That got his attention. Danny floated up into a standing position, though his feet didn’t touch the ground. “What do you mean?” he asked. “What’ve you been doing?”

“Chill out, kid,” Johnny said. He got off his bike and offered his hand to Kitty. She grabbed it and jumped down from the bike. “We’ve just been riding around. Witching hour season, you know how it is."

Danny didn’t know exactly what Johnny meant, but he had a feeling it had to do with why he kept waking up. “I keep waking up at three,” he admitted, settling down to stand on the ground. “What’s that about?”

“How long’ve you been a ghost?” Kitty asked. “Or, whatever you are.”

Danny’s eyes flashed. “A little over a year.”

Kitty put a finger up to her chin. “And you didn’t notice last year? That’s a little weird, with how strong you are.”

“You guys kept me up almost every night for three months straight last year,” Danny grumbled. He was still a little bitter about that. It had ruined his grades. Now that he’d cemented his ownership of Amity Park, ghosts didn’t try to challenge him as much, but it had been a really awful for a while.

“Oh, right.” Kitty at least had the manners to look embarrassed. “Well, this time of night is when we’re more… present, I guess?” She looked at Johnny for confirmation, but he just shrugged. Kitty frowned and looked back at Danny. “The closer we get to Halloween, the more it affects us. I can be out of the Zone a little bit longer, Johnny and Shadow can ride faster, that sort of thing.”

On the one hand, Danny was glad to get some kind of answer for why he kept waking up. On the other… “So I’m gonna wake up in the middle of the night for no reason for a month?”

“Two months,” Johnny corrected. “Sorry, Phantom. It doesn’t just stop on November first.”

Danny sagged. He wiped a hand across his face in frustration. “Great. Thanks for telling me. I guess I could… get homework done,” he said weakly. It sounded like the worst possible thing to do in the middle of the night.

Johnny and Kitty stared at him and then burst out laughing. Danny glared until they quieted down enough to talk.

“Oh, Ancients, you’re such a goody-two-shoes,” Johnny snorted. “That’s awful. No, kid, this is ghost time. You can’t do lame shit like homework.”

“What do you want to do?” Kitty asked. “Really? Do you wanna do homework, or… I dunno, fight people? What do you even do when you’re having fun as a ghost?”

Danny frowned. “I don’t have fun as a ghost.” He gestured to his glowing, jumpsuit-clad form. “I’m only like this when I have to fight ghosts.”

The ghosts shared a glance before looking back at Danny. “That’s really sad, kid,” Kitty said. She brushed a lock of hair back behind her ear. “Do you even know what you’re like as a ghost?”

He blinked at her. “I mean… I’m me? I’m more, uh. Protective of stuff.” He blushed green and looked away. He didn’t really like thinking about all the weird ghost instincts that had popped up over the last year. It made him worry about being less human.

Johnny snorted. “No shit. You spent the last year beating the crap out of anyone who laid a foot in your territory.” Kitty elbowed him in the gut.

“Come on, Johnny, he was just a mote. We weren’t too chill for a few years, either.”

“Ow! Babe, we weren’t… you know!” Johnny waved at Danny, indicating his whole self. Danny raised an eyebrow.

“You did kind of try to take over my sister’s body and then possessed one of my classmates,” he reminded her.

Kitty rolled her eyes. “Yeah, but that was before I knew you were just a kid. Like, really a kid. Most ghosts don’t get near as strong as you in their first year, you know. We both thought you were super old but just acted like you were a kid.”

“Even though my human form looks just like me?” Danny asked, crossing his arms.

“Yeah?” Kitty said with a shrug. “Look, the only other one like you we’d heard about was the old guy. He’s been the same age for like, fifteen years or whatever. Why would we think you were any different?”

A lot of questions crossed Danny’s mind. Did that mean Vlad stopped aging? He knew the fruitloop looked weirdly young, even though he had grey hair, but he figured that was botox or something. Did that mean Danny was going to stop aging in a couple years? He was pretty sure he had grown some in the last year, but what if-

No, he had immediate things to deal with. These two probably didn’t know any of the answers to those questions.

“Okay, so, let me get this straight,” Danny said, “Witching hour is for doing ghost stuff. And I’m supposed to figure out what I like to do as a ghost, so I can do it for a couple months.”

“I guess?” Johnny said with a frown. “Not like we had to figure that out.”

Danny picked up his feet so he was hovering a couple feet above the ground in a seated position, one leg dangling and the other hiked up so his knee was in front of his torso. “I guess I like flying? It’s pretty nice. I can go over a hundred miles an hour.”

“Yeah, we can tell,” Kitty said, a hint of a laugh in her voice. She picked up her legs too so she hovered in a cross-legged position in front of him. “That’s not really a you thing, though, is it? Most ghosts like flying.”

“I still prefer the bike,” Johnny said.

“Objection noted, sweet heart,” Kitty teased. “You like protecting the town, right? Maybe you should fly around to make sure it’s okay?”

It wasn’t a bad idea, but something about it felt sour. “I do that all evening anyway,” Danny grumbled. “It’s not like I hate it, I just… It’s not fun.”

Kitty hummed. Danny was very glad she didn’t poke at that. Fighting ghosts could be fun sometimes, but mostly it was something he felt driven to do. He didn’t enjoy it like he would playing a game, or watching a meteor shower, or…

His eyes lit up. “There’s two meteor showers this month,” he said, remembering it suddenly. “The Draconids are in just a couple of days, and then the Orionids near the end of the month.”

“That’s like shooting stars, right?” Kitty asked.

“Exactly. It's rocks from space burning up in the atmosphere,” Danny said, a smile spreading across his face. Why hadn’t he thought about this before? He could get up above the clouds, away from the light pollution. “I bet I could get the best view in town now.”

“Of course he’s a nerd,” Johnny grumbled. Kitty shushed him.

“That sounds like a great thing to enjoy,” Kitty said to Danny. “Wanna ride with us one day and get out of town? Away from the lights?”

Danny hesitated. “You’d be okay with that?” He glanced from her to Johnny. Kitty seemed friendly enough when they weren’t fighting, but Johnny was the one who drove the bike.

Johnny frowned for a moment. He looked back at his bike. Danny could practically see the gears turning in his head. Finally Johnny turned back to Danny and said, “If it gets us out of this dump, yeah, we’ll take you stargazing.”

Before he knew what he was doing, Danny was hugging Johnny. “Holy shit thank you I haven’t gone in years I won’t let you regret it.”

After a few moments had passed, Johnny gently put his hand on Danny’s shoulder. “H-hey, it’s no big deal, kid.”

Far in the distance, a church bell rang.

“Well, that’s our cue,” Kitty said. “Same time tomorrow?”

Danny straightened up, a little embarrassed that he’d just hugged Johnny of all people. “Yeah. See you then.”

When he made it back to his bed, he fell asleep instantly.

[tyrantisterror]

The ATOM Create a Kaiju Contest 3-D: Entry Roundup

You’ve been patiently waiting for the results of the ATOM Create a Kaiju Contest 3-D, and now... you have to wait a bit longer, but at least you’ve got an entry roundup with lots of sketches and a good bit of feedback for all the entrants!  My goal is to get the finalists illustrated in a week or two, and after that, the grand prize winner will be announced.  But, for now, the official entry roundup!  After the cut:

I should note that while I sketched these in the order they were submitted, my scanner saved the documents with random names, so they’re a bit jumbled.  You know, just in case you’re like me and would get confused noticing that it’s almost in chronological order but with some entries jumbled around.

@bugcthulhu’s Obsideban was designed as a counterpart to Rohobaron - the Black King to Rohobaron’s Red King, if you will.  Or, well, Black Queen in this case, as Obsideban also takes her personality from the “delinquent girl” archetype in Japanese media.  Bug’s designs always ooze personality, and I had a lot of fun translating this big, gnarly retrosaur into my own style.

@toothlessloveshiccup‘s Argonox is the first - but far from the last - monster in this breakdown that brings in a bit of fantasy influence to ATOM’s roster.  A golden-fleeced ram with a vicious streak, this sheep is both treasure and dragon at once.  And while it wasn’t written in the monster’s profile, given the Yamaneon-rich nature of its wool, Argonox might be able to replicate the healing power of the golden fleece too!  A very fun mammalian kaiju and excellent entry.

@highly-radioactive-nerd submitted Gunmetal Jeeves, a robot butler who can gigantomax temporarily create a holographic/hard light version of himself to fight kaiju.  That detail was a late revision added to the entry before the contest’s deadline, made after the creator realized that ATOM allows for some truly ludicrous bullshit, which is something everyone should exploit when making entries for this in my opinion.  Also, this is a robot butler who can size shift.  Revel in its awesome absurdity!

Ultranerd submitted Rajasaurus, a dimetrodon-like synapsid kaiju with electric powers.  His origin specifies that the electric powers are a result of the volatile nature of the Yamaneon deposits he mutated under, which is an interesting idea.  That’s another theme that cropped up a lot in this contest’s entries, actually - people really wanted to play with what Yamaneon can do.

Case in point, @polygonfighter’s Yamaneolith takes the Monolith Monsters homage at the heart of Yamaneon even more apparent.  I like the implication that there is a second mineral-based lifeform at the root of this Yamaneon cluster’s anomalous behavior - a parasite, perhaps?  It brings up some interesting possibilities.

@ariccio50 submitted Kukulkuzana, and damn is this a cool spin on the body plan of my martians.  I made a few changes here and there (splitting its tail into two is probably the biggest one), but tried to keep true to the original design, because holy hell is it gorgeous.  The idea that this is a mountain-dwelling creature is really intriguing to me, as it looks like a sea creature, but at the same time, that flexible and low-slung build WOULD work pretty well in mountains, and it’s just the right mix of plausible weirdness that makes for a fun alien design.

@akitymh submitted Aramzados, a Venusian monster that’s basically an organic hot rod car.  I like the idea of organic machinery being the gimmick for Venusian kaiju, and Aramzado’s does it subtly enough to not feel like that gimmick is the sole thing going for it.  I especially love this monster’s stange, apparently mouth-less blade-beaked face.

@virovac submitted Rurzar and Zar Rider, a Beyonder kaiju and mecha (respecitvely) that were both modified and repurposed by humans reverse engineering Beyonder technology to make, like, a motorcycle-saurus essentially.  It is a delightfully absurd concept, and a very, very detailed one (13 pages of description).  There’s a dark undercurrent beneath the sillyness, though, as this pair show that humanity might still be following the same path as the Beyonders before them.

@dinosaurana brings us Krangor, a humanoid monstrosity of living kelp!  The goal here was to create a Jack Kirby-esque monster dude, complete with the gibberish name and all.  He’s also made out of kelp, which feels very classic 1950′s monster-y despite me not being able to think of any monsters that were explicitly made of kelp.  I love him.

@kiryuthechimera submitted Genkakurah, a psychic retrosaur with some draconic features.  Though his substantial powerset is probably the biggest distinguishing feature of this kaiju (given that most ATOM kaiju pretty much have the same standard powers), what really draws me to him is that reptilian pseudo-beard.  It’s just a fun detail!

@glarnboudin submits Tiratola, and see, there’s that fantasy influence again!  Even more explicitly dragon-y than Kraydi, Tiratola still manages to toe the line between sci-fi and fantasy enough to fit ATOM as is while still cementing its ties to my own slice of fantasy fiction.  Man it’s good I’m doing a Midgaheim book next, huh?

@dragonzzilla submitted Scuttlebutt/Argonautilus, a hermit crab kaiju who lives in/with a hollowed out mecha.  That’s a twist I can’t recall ever hearing before, and the idea of a kaiju and a mecha having an equal partnership that doesn’t involve one being grafted to the other is really intriguing to me.  A very unique concept!

@evolutionsvoid submitted Fleagor, an enormous flea who has no idea what to do with itself now that there’s no creature large enough for it to parasitize.  I love that concept - it takes the core idea of the giant bug kaiju archetype (i.e. unsettling the audience by showing how terrifying small, “insignificant” creatures would be if our sizes were reversed) and really turns it on its head.  The name also plays on the Universal Monsters, who were a huge part of 1950′s pop culture thanks to their movies being re-released in that era, so all and all this one is very on brand for ATOM!

@skarmorysilver submitted Lilacorn, another entry that plays up that Midgaheim/ATOM connection.  Reinterpreting the mythological unicorn as an Cenozoic wooly rhinoceros-inspired monster gives it a very unique look, both in ATOM and in the general world of unicorns, and she has a bad-girl with a heart of gold personality to boot!

dracosaurus-rex submitted Florasaura, a two-headed plant/retrosaur hybrid monster.  I love me some plant monsters, I love me some retrosaurs, and I love me some rhyming the word “flora” with other words that contain similar vowell sounds, so this one has me written all over it!

@downtofragglerock submitted Sauroguana, a delightfully odd flying retrosaur.  There’s a great deal of charm to the original illustration that this sketch doesn’t quite capture - it’s a deceptively simple design with a lot of personality in it, and with those unique leg-wings it really doesn’t need a whole lot of frills to stand out.

Draxi submitted Brakan, an unimpressive burrowing retrosaur kaiju whose mastery of illusions allows it to convince other kaiju it’s actually a big, super-powerful badass that’s the ultimate fighter in the universe.  It’s a delightful parody of the concept of a fan self-insert god-mode character, with a really fun story built into it to boot!

@quinnred submitted O.N.I.A.C., a mysterious cocooned kaiju whose chrysalis has been turned into an organic computer of sorts by the people studying it, and seems to possess a fairly advanced intelligence for a kaiju.  It’s a really bizarre and ominous idea, with built in intrigue given how vague its nature is.  Is it just a kaijufied butterfly/moth who got stuck mid transformation?  A relative of the Mothmanuds?  Something else, perhaps equally alien?  Good story potential here.

shadyserpent submitted Vespilitor, a bat/retrosaur hybrid made by the nefarious Spooks Organization.  A mercurial prankster whose tendency to stir up trouble never crosses the line into maliciousness, he’s the kind of monster who would make a great foil to a lot of ATOM’s cast.  I’d especially like to see him in a prank off with Ahuul - it’d be like Bugs Bunny fighting Daffy Duck, but on a kaiju scale.

@multiversefan submitted the Yamaneon King, a nomadic kaiju whose refusal to settle down causes problems as he stirs up trouble at kaiju sanctuaries all over the globe by showing up unannounced and stirring up the locals.  He was basically designed to be a monster that the kaiju sanctuary initiative would struggle to deal with, which is a good idea for a post-ATOM Volume 2 story conflict.

Sir K submitted Jadeera, a kirin kaiju that can actually forcibly convert most of its body to Yamaneon to enter a dormant, statue-like state in a loose homage to King Shisa.  Though the fantasy elements are far more present than I usually prefer for ATOM kaiju, I think it should be noted they’re pushed that far for a purpose - a theme in Jadeera’s entry, which continues where its creator left off with their submission to the previous ATOM create a kaiju contest (Yokaigon), is that the world of kaiju is more complicated and challenging than many are willing to accept, which is a theme in ATOM itself.  Yokaigon’s more supernatural/occult powers are based on the ghost parascience of my setting, which ATOM has delved into a bit (Pathogen being the big example), so it’s not as out of left field as some might think.

@cerothenull​ brings us our final entry (unless some got lost thanks to tumblr’s shitty tagging system), the flying spider Naeranti.  She’s a kaiju spider who uses silk to make complicate hot-air balloons, more or less, and that’s just delightful.  ATOM could always use more spider-monsters, and with a really unique gimmick backing up a wonderfully distinct look, Naeranti is sure to stand out among her fellow giant arachnids.

Well, that’s the roundup!  In a week (or two, depending on how much my hand cramps) we’ll have the five finalists, and sometime after that, the grand prize winner!

[tedturneriscrazy]

Okay, time for Hunting Palismen and a closer look at this Golden Guard fella! Unlike approximately 99% of the fandom I wasn't really taken with him right away. Will I change my mind with this episode? Only one way to find out!

Ah, the coven leaders are here! So are the Abomitons!

I see you, Rayne. You look...less than thrilled to be there.

Purification under the coven system, eh? Wonder if we'll learn more about how that's supposed to work.

Oh lawd time for the fandom to thirst over Handsome Sq-I mean the Abomination Coven head (who I've decided is totally Gavin's dad)

Utopia? Wow, this really is a cult, huh?

Kiki does not like GG

Nope, that transformation bit wasn't at all unsettling or terrifying. No sir.

Also, the way Belos was pounding on the pillars was quite...visceral.

How many of those masks does he go through on a regular basis?

Uncle? I knew they were related in some capacity!

A wild witch cursed Belos, I'm calling it

Hey, intro update for Eda, King, and Amity!

Echo mouse apparently does not give up all its secrets that easily

At least King isn't trying to eat it?

Loving Luz's face pressed up against the glass

Luz living up to her name at the mention of a magic staff, 'cause she's moving at light speed

Come, now, we all knew Amity wouldn't be in this one.

Yo, uh, Bump's kinda, uh...😳

HAIR

So Frewin was Bump's palisman the whole time, huh?

There's the Bat Queen! Makes sense she would be involved in the palisman adoption process.

"Your loss!" Tell her, Willow!

Clover! Loving this already.

Boscha stans getting some juice today, I see

The way the students are reacting to finding their palismen is really setting up the inevitable gut punch when Luz doesn't match with one.

Reestablish contact with the giraffes? Oh, Gus.

(Makes you wonder what the deal with giraffes is. Then again, maybe it's just a running joke at this point)

Ah, here's the windup

Okay, we're going with full-on existential crisis, then. Poor Luz.

Connecticut? No wonder Luz doesn't fit in back home! She lives in friggin Connecticut, of all places!

Disclaimer: I have never been to Connecticut. I've heard plenty of people weigh in on it, though, and the general consensus seems to be that there isn't much to it.

Eda's up to something...

That cardinal really wants to go somewhere

That outfit being sleepwear makes sense, actually.

You'd think GG could leverage his position to requisition those palismen rather than go in for a heist, but bureaucracy doesn't make for a compelling story, I guess

Whistling the opening theme. Cute.

Okay, the whole fire glyph thing was funny

I did not expect this show to channel Looney Tunes as much as it has, but I'm okay with it.

Nice, Luz! Also, maybe that'll teach GG to keep his ship clean.

I think weird hand dragon might be sufficient to stop you, yes?

An assassination attempt? Oh, Kiki, you rascal.

Kiki really does not like GG

SLAP

I'm convinced they specifically wrote that moment to be memed

Oh, they're giving off some real sibling energy, huh? I'm into it! Especially if it quashes the possibility of a love triangle.

This place seems a bit more rough and tumble than Bonesborough

I see that mlm date in the background! Very nice

GG may be older than Luz, but she is definitely the more mature one.

That said, he does have a point about her not always thinking things through.

Thus begins the Enemy Mine segment.

"Too slow" yup sibling energy intensifies

He seems quite interested in the glyphs

Okay, them nerding out over magic together is a) adorable, and b) a solid argument for his inevitable face turn

Wait, so is GG actually related to Belos, or was he a foundling? Somewhat ambiguous here, at least to me. Hopefully that's explored.

"At least you have your future figured out now." "At least you can figure out your own."

Cardinal's gonna be his palisman, isn't it?

Luz finds it cute despite herself

The whole sleep mist thing is a hell of a strategy to have in your back pocket. Luz being super smart yet again.

God help me if I'm ever at a point in my life where Luz tells me to my face that I'm not her friend. I don't think I could handle it.😢

Hunter? A little on the nose given the circumstances.

Also, goddamnit the episode title was foreshadowing his name the whole time

Oh hi, Kiki, still awake?

Ooh, well-animated fight sequence let's goooo

It's somehow reassuring that Luz is as weirded out by Hand Dragon as I am

Hand Dragon just follows the whistle? So much for loyalty.

Ah, there's Eda!

What did they get into?! Maybe supplemental materials could go into these offscreen adventures? Please, Disney?

Robbing a garden club to acquire some rare wood so your surrogate daughter can make her own staff? If that isn't love I don't know what is!

And loving the way Eda emphasizes that there's no rush on carving the palisman. Amazing family moment.

As a contrast: fuck you, Belos, you piece of shit

"Outbursts" riiiiight

Belos giving out some Shadow Weaver vibes with Hunter, ngl

Uh oh, Kiki suspects

Hope someone picks up that phone, because I called it!

(I know I write these after watching through once already, shh)

Well, considering the things that were revealed and developed, this was a surprisingly low-key episode! To be honest I kind of welcome that, considering how the previous episodes have been. That said, fairly solid overall, and I can see why Hunter is Dana's favorite. A less charitable summation of his character might be "What if Luz but white boy," but I think he has enough unique characteristics to stand out.

I'm also glad for the breather because I think Eda's Requiem is gonna hit pretty hard. Can't wait for that!

[yournameyn]

Feeling Deeply Chapter 5

Genre: Arranged Marriage Fic. Fluff turning into angst?

Pairing: Namjoon x OC

Summary: The story of two deeply feeling nerds who find themselves in an arranged marriage. (Details here). Our OC is called Brishti. It’s a Bengali name meaning rain. Namjoon calls her Rim (short for her pet name, RimJhim which means the pitter-patter of rain). She calls him Joon.

Warnings: NOT THE NAMJOON OF OUR DREAMS. Argument. Fight over tiny discrepancies that turn out to be a huge problem. Domestic violence. Not a happy chapter.

A/N: Have you ever felt this, reader? When you watch something and realise exactly what you need to realise in that moment? I’ve had that so many times - seeing my feelings mirrored in a show. That’s something that I’ve tried to have Brishti feel here. Also, this is how I see the natural progression of this Namjoon, the one who obliged to duty rather than his dreams. It took me a long time to write this but I love what’s come out. Let me know what you think!

Current Chapter: London, late 1963. Love fully blooms between Namjoon and Brishti. And yet, something’s not right. A visit to the ballet and a conversation brings forth realisations. The inklings that Brishti was trying to avoid transform into writing on the wall.

Previously in Feeling Deeply: Preface Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4

Chapter 5

The magic about new love isn’t really in romance or even in true intimacy. It’s in how violent new love is… and just how much time it takes us to feel it’s impact.

In the new love between Namjoon and Brishti, everything had been roses and honey, overflowing, swaying in a gentle breeze. They spent every second possible in each other’s arms. They had to tear themselves away from each other when they had to leave home. And even then, it hurt as though they were part of the same cloth.

Brishti had thought about how they had become woven, their souls an ornate tapestry. Namjoon had told her then about a Japanese tradition of weaving that was a sort of meditation and a kind of worship to a god called ‘Musubi’. The disciples say it is like being part of the cosmic tapestry. Being tied to each other.

“Just like we are… I felt a pull toward you and I followed it. I was scared… so full of doubts about who you were and how this was all going to go… I had promised myself that I would fulfil my duty… whatever happened ” Namjoon had said, petting Brishti’s hand gently, “And I… I still can’t believe it… It… you make me feel like I can… trust myself.” Brishti had looked at her genius then and wondered what a strange world it must be that made a man like Namjoon doubt himself, “Always, always trust yourself, Namjoon-ah.” and settled into the crook of his neck.

It was indeed a strange world that caused Namjoon to build an armour around himself. Because ‘London’ and ‘Lonely’ sounded just the same to him. His years alone in this strange place had been unkind, unrelenting. Brishti had been the only softness he had felt in a long long time. Armours built over years can break in an instant, though. For him, it was the moment when he and his wife had crossed the threshold to becoming lovers. High on the magic of new love, he had not realised it.

Sitting across from each other after that fateful evening, Namjoon and Brishti were both wide awake in the early hours of the next morning. Brishti buttoned up the shirt they never fully took off. Namjoon had tickled her with his toes. They propped their feet against the other’s to see just how vast the difference was (he melted seeing how small her feet were and hadn’t stopped playing with them since). Caressing each toe, he remembered something he wanted to ask -

“How did you know what Saranghae is?”

“Mm…” she stretched her arms, “I know what it means…” Brishti said.

“I know you know… from the way you… after I said it… You asked Yoongi about it?” Namjoon cautiously asked about the only other Korean Brishti knew. To his surprise, she nodded no, still denying him any information. Namjoon had to tickle her foot for the answer.

“Okay! Okay! Wait! Pleeeease!” Namjoon stopped and Brishti bent down to the bureau next to her bed and pulled out a textbook - LEARN HANGUL THROUGH ENGLISH. Namjoon looked more shocked than she had expected. “I asked Yoongi about the book-”

“You don’t need to Rim… I’m not learning Bangla, am I?” Namjoon said. He was touched but he didn’t want his love to do anything he couldn’t reciprocate.

“I would have asked you to learn it… if I wrote poetry in my mothertongue...” Brishti said. Namjoon was shocked. She went on, “You really think I didn’t know?”

Namjoon blushed and smiled and flopped over in Brishti’s lap. She brushed his hair as she explained, “You light up at the mention of lyrics and poetry, you keep a notebook by your side at all times, you’re moved by the things that people usually don’t pay attention to… I know you’re a poet, Joonie.”

Namjoon looked up at her and said, “No one has ever called me that…”

Brishti leaned down and kissed her gorgeous husband. “You are... From what I know, I bet all my books that you are a great one... And… I… I would love nothing more than to be part of your world of words, Joonie… It must be strange… to be understood but in a foreign language. If you would let me, I want to understand you in your language… Do you think that’s something maybe--”

He got up and all but jumped on Brishti, pinning her down to the bed with the cutest puppy-yell she had ever heard. “Yes! Of course, yes!”

They both understood that this was a proposal. The truest kind - a gentle request to explore Namjoon’s universe. They would later joke about how she proposed to him after a month of being married. Namjoon was completely delighted by this person with him, his person… one who really saw him.

He pulled her to him saying, “You’re the best part of my world, Rim...” and kissed her.

Each moment of love flowed through the next. When they had to be separated, they couldn’t wait for the next one, their moment again. On weekends they would visit museums and find their favourite paintings and sculpture or their favourite prehistoric relic and animal. Brishti hated the fact that Namjoon had to work overtime to compensate for these weekends and she often voiced how unfair it was.

In response Namjoon would just give her a peck and say, “As long as I have you, I’m happy.” This pricked her but she was too taken by the man before her to pay heed to it.

Namjoon was just about able to keep a straight face at work but everyone around Brishti was acutely aware of how much she loved Namjoon.

At one point, her colleague and best friend, Min Yoongi had yelled at her, “Yhaaaaa! Stop blushing?! It’s just a clock… what could be romantic about a clock?!” Sayuri-san, and she were hanging around Yoongi’s table when Brishti looked at his new flip clock and started blushing.

Brishti laughed along with everyone else but explained, “It’s involuntary… that’s what happens when you’re married to a poet.”

Sayuri-san corrected, “I know too many wives of poets to know that’s not necessarily true… It is true though, when you’re in love with a poet… Go on… tell us how exactly poet Namjoon makes you blush about a clock...”

Brishti blushed even more at that. Yoongi rubbed his arms and demanded, “Tell us because there’s some really weird things coming to my mind… like you guys have an exact time when...”

Brishti stopped his imagination, “No no no… it’s nothing like that… he loves digital clocks... because he loves to watch the time turn to 00:00… zero o’clock he calls it… and on days he feels sad, it’s like zero o’clock is always there to comfort him… like it’s a point when the whole world holds its breath and he can feel happy again… but these days… with me… he said he wants the clock to keep going after 23:59… he wishes time would stretch on… beyond 24:01…”

Yoongi sighed and sat back down, “You’re making me fall in love with Namjoon… ahhh that is beautiful. He should be published...”

“Imagine him saying this directly to you and you might know how I feel… I can’t stop talking about him...”

“Oh, we know. But honestly none of us care… your poet-librarian romance is getting us through our single-ness.” Yoongi reassured her.

The three of them continued to talk about the ways in which Brishti could repay Namjoon’s wordsmithing in graphic ways.

It was that evening, wasn’t it, when Namjoon had enveloped her back in the warmest hug as soon as he’d entered their flat. Brishti was in the kitchen when she heard him enter but hadn’t expected this. He kissed her neck while telling her the good news, “We got our first Korean client today… because of me… Mmmm… Why do you always smell so amazing?”

Brishti turned around and hugged him again, “That’s amazing! Namjoon-ssi! I’m so proud of you!”

“He’s from a wealthy family… so he can actually afford our firm… its not exactly the work I wanted to do--”

“It is a step toward that idea, right? It’s still good work, fighting for justice?” Brishti asked, stopping him from undermining his own work.

Namjoon nodded, “Yeah… He’s a dancer… Park Jimin. All the posh types know him as one of the best dancers in the Royal Ballet. They call him Jim… as if it’s too difficult to say Jimin?” Namjoon shook his head in disapproval. He began helping Brishti with the chopping and continued, “He was born in the UK and trained since he was 5... He got into the Royal Ballet but he’s been passed up to be a principal over and over even though everyone who has seen him dance apparently knows that he’s far far better… So recently he spoke to the director there... and of course the director made a racist slur and asked not to bother him with this again. He can’t even quit and work at another company because of the contract they have him on. There’s a non compete clause… meaning he won’t be able to dance with any other company. That’s all he wants… to be able to get out of that contract… I’m hoping to convince him to press charges on racial discrimination too. We’re not in the 20s anymore.”

When Brishti didn’t respond, Namjoon looked up at her. “That’s horrible… I’m so so glad you’re taking up the case. But please tell me what you ate when you were alone?” He looked down at the carrot he’d been failing to cut.

Namjoon scrunched his nose and admitted, “Canned food mostly.”

Brishti said, “I’m really really glad you’re getting to do work that you are passionate about, Joonie, you deserve it. Now, you should know how to cut a carrot.”

Namjoon pressed up against Brishti’s back. She reached back up to the nape of his neck and made him moan into her. Then… then Namjoon made her forget how to cut carrots.

He had these ways… Namjoon, with his touch, his voice, his languages both spoken and soundless. He was lighting new paths into her self. She loved learning him. Paths she didn’t know existed, that she’d been longing for.

The scars of the loneliness, emptiness that Namjoon had experienced had turned his longings into a kind of starvation. He needed to be nourished and also devoured. Brishti was just the creature to do it. He could feel her warm fingers trace rows of pleasure onto his skin. He felt them bear down and singe when the two of them had to move away from each other. He felt those ropes tug at him as the end of his workday neared. Namjoon closed his eyes each night at her touch, the feeling and fragrance of her body. He felt blooms of intimacy spring up like seedlings out of the soil of his skin. And deeper. In the earth of his soul. So he did the only thing he could. Reciprocate. Namjoon sowed his love, his desire, his need onto her, into her every night.

There were times, though, when she would feel his absence in the middle of the night and see him working in the dim light of a lamp. She knew he had to work hard to do what he wanted but she also saw he had to continually prove himself to people who weren’t even paying attention. The reason they weren’t paying attention was painfully clear to Brishti but she was yet to experience it’s full stab.

Namjoon wanted to shield her from it. He was counting on an armour that didn’t exist anymore to protect himself and his wife… the reason he liked his life again. Whenever she came out and switched on a brighter light, reprimanding him for straining his gorgeous eyes, he saw that it did prick her - this world and the unfairness he had to endure. She would say something small, an almost-complaint that alerted him… against her for some strange reason. She would say something that would be easy to ignore and yet would prick him, like - “I don’t know why they haven’t promoted you yet.” or “Why haven’t they taken up Jimin’s case yet? You’ve worked so hard on it.” Everytime she did that, he would have to pacify himself.

‘I’ve told her so much about the Jimin case… she’s just really invested’ Namjoon thought to himself. Just so he would avoid thinking, ‘I shouldn’t have told her.’

He would have to calm himself, give her a peck and try to convince her to stop worrying. “As long as I have you, I’m happy.” Namjoon would always say.

Then, Brishti smiled as she always did. While trying to understand why that sentence bothered her so much. After almost five months of exploring this wonderful man, some part of him still felt unfamiliar… like it didn’t fit in with the rest. Still, these things take time, she had heard from so many women over the years. Besides, she was blessed with a man far far above the norms. So, how could she prod? These are things Brishti had told herself - until the night she couldn’t stay silent.

The couple was coming up on their fifth month together and Park Jimin had gifted Namjoon a ticket to the final show of the season as a token of gratitude, for having heard his story.

Brishti was nervous about going to this kind of a gathering and had told her husband to meet her there.

She had enlisted the help of Sayuri-san to look appropriate for the event. Her slightly longer hair was clipped and her eyes were kohled. She wore a burgundy knee length fringe-ended dress that she had received from her gracious host, stylist and make-up artist - an inheritance of her brilliant life tucked into the black pearl beading and deco design. It was a big departure from the usual tie-die or band tees and jeans with her baggy coat. She had carried the coat but felt this strange sort of compulsion to stand in the cold air in the noodle strap dress, for him to see her.

She felt butterflies in her stomach and kept fiddling with the coat she had draped over her arm. It was electric when she saw him.

Namjoon looked gorgeous in a tux. All of Brishti’s nerves were soothed just by looking at him. He had brushed his hair back. Tall and dashing - better than any heathcliffe could ever be. And with his reading glasses, he looked like the lead of a romance novella that would make all the women swoon. Indeed she was swooning. Brishti was suddenly warm in the chilly, windy night. And when Namjoon saw her, blood rushed to her cheeks. Everything inside her was running helter skelter in a panic. Brishti felt everything drop in the few moments it took for Namjoon to reach the top of the stairs. Dolled up like this, outside of her element, she felt like an imposter. Some angel needed to be standing in her place. For the first time, feigning beauty, Brishti felt like she wasn’t worthy of her husband.

She was finally able to keep her feelings aside when he reached her.

Namjoon kissed her palm like a gentleman and whispered in her ear, “Let’s go home… I need a private kind of dance…” Brishti blushed. Namjoon put his arm around her and felt the chill that had settled on her skin. “Aren’t you cold? Why didn’t you wear the coat?” Namjoon asked. Brishti just shook her head no and the two of them walked in.

Brishti assumed that the ballet would be a welcome distraction from the storm that brewed within her. She had read up about the show, the piece they were going to perform -

Tchaikovsky’s venerated Swan Lake. The story of a young girl who falls in love with a prince who promises to save her but fails. Ofcourse there were finer nuances to the story but this was the basic plot. As the lights dimmed, Brishti felt pulled in by the music, the eerie beauty of it’s melody played in perfectly with the questions that were swirling around in Brishti’s mind -

Why do I feel wrong?

Is this what Yoongi was talking about? Anxiety…?

Why does Namjoon look so... different?

Why is he so quiet, so… distant…It’s like he’s keeping himself away from me despite being right next to me, arm in arm, like the true Namjoon is somewhere in a glass case? Deep deep beneath whatever this creature is who is next to me?

I’m thinking too much. No. What is this? Why am I feeling this way?

It’s the music… no its not just the music… something is fucking wrong because all I feel like doing is breaking that glass case that’s locked away My Namjoon and presented this fucking imposter. What the hell is going on?!

Brishti barely managed to keep it together. She kept her eyes on stage…

It was like seeing a moving painting being created by invisible hands and the music was the sound of the brushstrokes, amplified. Park Jimin was playing Rothbart, the owl-like magician who curses Odette into a swan until she finds someone who would promise to love her forever. The questions in her mind and the power of the spectacle before her forced her tears to keep flowing.

Namjoon saw Brishti cry and held on to her. But the more he tried to comfort her, the more uneasy she became, the more she coudln’t contain the tears in her eyes.

The curtain fell at the end of Act three when the prince realises he has been tricked. Brishti, somehow, mirrored his grief. The prince was cheated by Rothbart into believing that his daughter, Odile, was Odette. Rothbart relished his plan so despicably it made Brishti’s stomach turn. The prince had already declared to the ballroom full of people his vow to love and marry the maiden by his side - Odile, not Odette. Park Jimin played Rothbart so skillfully, so beautifully that despite being the villain, despite being covered from head to toe, he was the star. Rothbart giggled delightfully as he revealed to the prince that the girl in his arms wasn’t Odette at all. That Odette was waiting for her prince by the lake. The curtain fell as the prince felt the stab of betrayal and rushed to Odette.

Brishti rushed to where she did not know. She wanted to get away from Namjoon, from this feeling that she couldn’t understand, couldn’t explain. She was angry. She wanted to break something. Tears still flowing down her face, she found a corner that was hidden away in darkness. She went in. Brishti sat on the couch there, for what seemed like eternity, breathing heavily. Nothing made sense. It felt like her insides were twisting into each other. Suddenly, though, a door creaked open and out came an angel. A man, glowing, having just freshened up. He saw her, saw her fear and instead of pulling back in shock, approached with a strange kindness. He held her wrist and stayed silent for a moment.

His beauty was also a kindness to her. In that moment, Brishti could breathe a little bit better. He sat down by her knees, on the floor and when he spoke, his voice flowed like a tonic, “First time at the ballet? It’s overwhelming… I know. You’re okay. You are safe. Rothbart is not here. Talk to me… what are you feeling?”

The tears kept flowing. This man was different, she knew he understood what she was feeling like. She felt safe, but not as if she was with a saviour, rather as though she was with another victim.

“What are you feeling…” Park Jimin repeated. The pieces were falling into place in her head. This is Park Jimin, the man who danced as Rothbart. The man who should have danced the Prince. Who should have played Odette and Odile.

“I feel… rage.” Brishti trembled as she spoke. She could breathe again.

“Yes… Rothbart is… evil… I’m sorry-”

Brishti nodded her head no. “At the prince.”

Jimin was surprised. “Let it out. You can scream in here and no one would know.”

Brishti didn’t need another invitation, but her rage wasn’t a scream, it was a whisper - “I want to hit the prince. How could he not now? He couldn’t see that that girl was not Odette? Is he blind? The way she moved, the way she danced… which only means… it means that the prince knew… somewhere he felt doubt but he… He couldn’t fucking trust himself enough?! I don’t know why this is breaking my heart… Why can’t people trust in themselves?! It’s a pathetic fucking excuse and I can’t buy it… I just can’t. Why did the prince...” Her hands covered her face as she wiped her tears. She composed herself.

Jimin pulled out a kerchief. “May I?” Brishti nodded and he dabbed her face with care.

“The prince trusted his sight more than his soul. And now, Odette will die because of it. As always, the woman pays the price.”

“He dies too, you know.”

“What a waste…”

Jimin smiled, “Thank you… for watching the show, for feeling it so much.”

Brishti managed a weak smile, “Thank you.” Jimin stepped away and sat next to her, at a respectable distance. “I’m being lied to.”

Jimin nodded, “I know what that’s like. I feel that rage against the prince too. And still, we must be kind to our liars.”

Brishti clenched her teeth, “Why? Where’s the fairness in that?”

Jimin moves away, in a dejected kind of daze and pours himself a drink, “That’s the biggest lie, fairness. Cruel joke.”

Brishti walked toward the door. “I should go… Thank you.”

Jimin raised his glass to her.

Brishti wore her coat and walked toward the exit. She found Namjoon in a panic and suddenly felt like she could reach him. He looked so relieved to see her. She couldn’t help but feel awash with love as he crashed into her in the warmest hug. It was as if he was the one who was lost.

“Are you okay? Why were you crying?” Namjoon asked her as he stroked her head and held her in the hug for as long as she needed.

“I need to ask you something.” Brishti whispered as she pulled away. They began walking down the stairs of the theatre.

“Änything.” Namjoon replied.

“Your firm… they refused the Jimin case, right?”

Namjoon froze. His jaw locked up. “Let’s go home.”

The rest of the way, neither of them spoke a word. They entered their home in a cold silence. They washed the night off themselves and entered their bedroom, which was completely devoid of the heat and desire that usually filled it right up to the ceiling. What used to feel like an ocean, now felt like a vacuum.

When Namjoon walked in, Brishti reminded him, as kindly as she could,“I said I need to ask you something. You said, ‘anything’.”

“I’m sorry. I don’t want to talk about it.” Namjoon was cold again. Unfeeling. Unreachable.

Brishti tried her best to be calm… “When would you want to talk about it?”

Namjoon breathed in - “Why? Am I answerable to you?”

“Yes.”

“Well, we disagree. I don’t think I am answerable to you. What would you have done if I wouldn’t have told you about it in the first place?”

“I would still be feeling what I’m feeling… I would be even more furious though.”

“Fu- why would you be furious? I have to work there, I lost the account. I’m feeling hurt and disappointed in myself and instead of helping me, you’re angry?! What the hell could you be angry at?!”

“I’m being lied to. I’m being tricked.”

“What?!” the contempt on Namjoon’s face made her head throb. He was angry now.

“There are two Namjoons here. I’m being told there’s only one and--”

“That is some philosophical trash that you learned from one of your books. Real life doesn’t work that way. But how would you know?! You don’t have a real job. You have a hobby. A hobby of stacking books in order. You’re just plain lucky that someone is paying you for your hobby. That’s not a job. You of all people cannot tell me about the things I have to do to keep my job. I have tried my best to be as honest as I can be--”

“As honest as you can --”

“Listen to me!” Namjoon thundered. His loud voice might as well have been a punch. It rang through her body and rattled her bones. She had tears in her eyes but clenched them down as Namjoon continued yelling, “Enough… enough with the fucking tears. What the fuck are you so sad about?! I don’t need you to pity me. I don’t need anyone to feel sad for me. I have tried to be a good man - do you even know how much other men don’t even mention to their wives?! I told you everything. EVERYTHING. And now I’m being punished for it. Time and time again I tried to console you… even though I was the one hurting… I tried to be there for you and tell you… as long as I have --”

Brishti couldn’t take it anymore “Don’t. Say that.” She didn’t yell. Her voice was just above a whisper and yet it sent a chill down Namjoon’s spine. She wiped her tears. “I didn’t ask to be consoled. I was just… curious. If a few questions from me hurt so much maybe you should ask yourself why. I’m not lucky that someone decided to pay me for my hobby. It’s nice to know what you really think of my job. But whatever you think, I created my job. I created my life. I fought to come to london. I fought for the right to earn--”

“Oh please... spare me the feminist lecture...” scoffed Namjoon.

“Sure. Take up Jimin’s case.”

Namjoon felt the burn of white hot rage. He wanted to strangle her. He was so used to touching her… and she was his… in this bedroom, he had made her his. He wasn’t thinking. Namjoon strode toward her and held one massive palm over her mouth and the other on her neck and pinned her to the wall. “YOU WOULDN’T HAVE KNOWN ABOUT THAT IF I DIDN’T TELL YOU.”

It took him a few moments to realise what he was doing. Brishti was shocked and tried to scream but no voice came out. She was trying to get him out of his daze when he finally saw her, saw his Rim, horrified… by him. Namjoon pulled his hands back instantly. He saw a red bruise bloom where his hands were - on her face and on her neck.

“This is how you make your conscience shut up?” Brishti’s voice was hoarse. “You think this has nothing to do with your conscience? With the best part of you? The part that you made me fall in love with? Are you really telling me you don’t know that this is why you can’t write the way you used to… You’re killing my Joon and asking me to stay silent. I can’t.”

The searing anger still hadn’t died and it burst out of him, “Why are we fighting like this… over Jimin… why don’t you take up his case if you fucking love him so much?”

“What do you think I’m doing right now?”

“You… Why are you fighting for him against me?!” It was here that Namjoon realised his armour was gone. The idea of who he is... suddenly vanished. And the one thing that had made him feel safe, like his true self, was slipping away. “You’re saying… just tell me… you’re saying what I think you’re saying.”

Brishti did him the only kindness she had left in her, she explained, “Jimin wants to leave but can’t. He stays because he needs to dance. He stays because he cannot get out of his contract. You say you want to help people like Jimin, you roll your eyes at white people who can’t pronounce our names, you feel guilty for asians who have much less than we do… but then you also don’t raise an issue when your boss holds meetings in clubs where people of other races and dogs and women are not allowed. You work overtime for the privilege of weekends… You say you are trying but… as far as I know… you don’t have a non-compete clause in your contract, Namjoon.”

That hit him like an iceberg. Namjoon’s legs gave way and he just sat on the bed.

He watched as Brishti put on her coat and left, covering her bruises with a scarf.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Chapter 6 - to be posted.

[earthstellar]

Rewatching Transformers G1 S2: Episode 1: Autobot Spike

Yes, this is where the Surprised Ratchet meme image comes from:

This episode has a lot going on including near-death of a human character on screen, body horror/a Frankenstein plot, and some genuinely unsettling scenes mostly made creepy due to the combination of some interesting dialogue/voice acting and typical G1 Quality. 

And Spike shoots Starscream in the ass mid-flight, which is fantastic. 

He also shoots his dad, which is less fantastic. 

Being a horror nerd, I love this episode, so here we go! 

Gonna put this below a cut because I’m taking a lot of screenshots here:

You can watch the whole episode on YouTube here in 4 parts, if you want to watch along! 

Alright, so it opens with Sparkplug trying to create “Autobot X”, which is straight up just a Frankenstein’s Monster of autobot parts. It’s weirdly creepy, and vaguely reminiscent of the infamous Ratchet-Megatron fusion in the Marvel comics.

I want to point out that Sparkplug says “I wanna see what I can do with a lotta spare Autobot parts and some human ingenuity” before the reveal shot above, and that’s horrific if you think about it for more than like, three seconds. 

It also may have been the origins of the MECH plot line in TFP, actually! Very similar body horror type thing going on. Anyway.

It works briefly, but it flips out and has to get shut down. 

Ironhide fires a laser, problem solved, nobody’s worried. They put Autobot X in storage, because surely a rampantly aggressive seemingly sentient pastiche of random Autobot parts is nothing to worry about. It’s fine. 

Wheeljack is like, hell yeah, I’ll help you work on it later. Which is when we get the Surprised Ratchet image, because yeah, I bet Ratchet’s freaked out a little since this thing is made of SPARE AUTOBOT PARTS. 

Then we’re swept immediately into a fight with Megatron, as many Seekers as you can fit in frame at one time, and Soundwave. 

For whatever reason, Bumblebee shows up driving through a bunch of partially blown up missile/rocket components, with Spike in the driver’s seat. Even Spike is like, dude, why are we here? And Bumblebee is just like, I mean, we couldn’t NOT show up. lmao

Unsurprisingly, Bumblebee gets shot-- In alt-mode, with Spike inside. Uh oh. 

Megatron leaves, because Frank Welker can only voice so many characters at once, and our attention is turned to the carnage. 

Ratchet is like, sure, I can fix Bumblebee right up! Meanwhile, Ironhide is like oh god, oh my god, is this how you hold a human??? Is it dead??? Optimus is gonna be pissed. 

So Optimus rolls up like, listen, take him to the hospital, come on. Ratchet lets him in the back of his ambulance mode, and Prowl goes with him so that he can throw his emergency lights on to give the illusion of a police escort, ensuring the drive is even quicker. 

(I miss the days when Prowl wasn’t a total asshole.) 

It cuts pretty quickly to Spike in an operating theatre; Apparently getting shot by alien space lasers isn’t conducive to human health: 

It cuts again to the attending physician standing at Spike’s beside, presumably in ICU although they appear to be in a private room, with Sparkplug on the other side of the bed. 

The doctor says “Hmm, if only there were a way of separating Spike’s mind from his body while we work...” Which, uh, what? What surgeon says that? You can sort of already do that in actual human medicine, it’s called an induced coma. 

But sure, we need exposition here, I get it. The screenplay here is tight. Sparkplug says he has an idea...

Back at the Autobot hangout, things seem fairly chill, considering. 

Ratchet is welding Bumblebee’s ass in alt-mode, while Bumblebee complains about how long it’s taking. lol 

Meanwhile, Wheeljack and Sparkplug somehow have Spike hooked up to a Ghostbusters colander helmet, which will hopefully transfer his mind into the malfunctioning/in stasis Autobot X frame. Yikes. 

It works! Spike is now also Autobot X. We will call him Spike X for short. 

And for some reason, Spike saying “D-Da-ad?” with this faceplate expression is incredibly funny to me, while also being really weird and creepy: 

However, this is only cool for like two seconds, at which point Spike X truly starts to lose his shit. 

It gets real creepy here, with Spike X saying in a very oddly flat inflection “Why? Why did you do this to me? Why?” and it’s pretty wild. There’s even a mild strobe effect for a few frames. 

Sideswipe and Sunstreaker try to help calm him down, but Spike X throws them both across the room. 

Optimus is like, oh shit, we made a giant metal teenager. Stop him, but use low power, because if the Autobot X frame is damaged too much, then Spike’s consciousness may not be able to be returned to his actual human body. 

Note that Optimus says this in a pretty relaxed way, then levels a shoulder mounted cannon straight at Spike X, which is incredibly funny. 

It quickly gets deeply weird and creepy again when Spike X is temporarily able to talk with his dad, and states that “it’s hard to think, like something is telling me to do... bad.... things!” Yiiiiiikes. 

He gets it under control again, apologises to his dad for the outburst (I think it’s OK, Spike), and Optimus says that he’s cool to stay at the base and he’ll be taken care of while his human body heals up. 

However, oh shit, the Decepticons have found out that Spike now has an Autobot frame-- And they know he’s unstable. 

Starscream tries to roast him, but Megatron’s like, shut up nerd, we’re gonna make Spike X turn against the Autobots! It’s a good plan, I’m serious! 

Back at the Autobot base, Ratchet is still welding Bumblebee’s ass, and Bumblebee is still complaining. Wheeljack hooks up Spike X with some network television, and he’s watching... Frankenstein. Because the six year old kids who are the intended audience of G1 may not be familiar with the source material for this episode’s plot, I guess, which is fair. (Frank Welker nails it here as Dr. Frankenstein, but that’s unsurprising, because he always nails it. I think he’s also voicing Frankenstein’s Monster, but I haven’t checked the credits.)

Obviously, this isn’t a great thing for Spike X to be watching at this particular moment, so he freaks out again. 

Wheeljack and Sparkplug come running, and somehow Sparkplug is covering ground faster than Wheeljack. It’s fine, don’t worry about it. 

Ratchet’s progress on welding Bumblebee’s ass is interrupted by Spike X breaking through the wall and seemingly flying away. lmao 

They just sort of stand there, like, well, we lost him, I guess. 

Bumblebee is like, alright, gonna go get my boy. 

So he drives out of this massive crater, and Ratchet is like, wait! Your radio transmitter still doesn’t work. (Apparently their radio transmitters are located in their asses. Fascinating.) 

Spike X sits on a cliff and says “what a drag”, which, yeah. Being a Frankenstein space robot would be cool if not for the immense psychological damage this is absolutely causing. 

However, he also calls himself a “walking garbage can” in a completely genuine put-out tone of voice, which absolutely sells that this is a teenager in a giant robot body and I laughed, I won’t lie. 

Some of Megatron’s cronies locate him and hold his position. 

At the same time, Bumblebee shows up and tries to talk Spike X down from a random destructive rampage. 

He throws Bumblebee off the cliff! And Megatron’s squad is rolling up. (Well, flying up, anyway.) Uh oh! 

Spike X is like, hell yeah, bring it. More ass to kick. And it turns out his arm mounted cannon works, because he shoots Starscream directly in the undercarriage and says “YEAH, MAN!” and it’s so genuine. 

This is the perfect reaction to being a teenager in a giant robot body and just suddenly being able to shoot lasers and kick ass. Look at how happy he is, that he just shot Starscream in the butt mid-air. It’s awesome.

Unfortunately, the Seekers do actually beat him up, although Spike X puts up a good fight. 

Megatron then takes advantage of his further weakened state, and swoops in to pitch a classic “Join Us” speech. Spike X calls him “Megacrumb”, which is probably acceptable because he’s absolutely concussed by this point. 

Megatron is willing to overlook this for the sake of teaming up. 

Bumblebee eavesdrops, and drives away-- But Spike X gives Megatron a handshake, and agrees to “make them pay”. Oh shit! 

For some reason, Optimus and Ironhide are back at the rocket facility to watch a launch. Because I guess whatever, this whole situation is chill, let’s go watch rockets? IDK 

But either way, Optimus roasts the inferior quality of human technology, while Bumblebee just drives up on site despite Military Police levelling sniper rifles at him in order to report that Megatron is taking advantage of Spike X’s inability to think clearly. 

Optimus says “I feared something like this might happen”, which, if that were the case, why not take actions to prevent it, maybe? Not the strongest Optimus episode. 

To be fair though, Ironhide transforms and is already driving off before Optimus even gives the order to roll out, so I guess Ironhide either really wants to kick some ass or cares slightly more about Spike X’s wellbeing. He has no dialogue here, so we can only guess. 

They get there, with even more Autobots who showed up at some point in the rapid scene cuts here, and Spike X is super unhinged-- Charging his weapons, he starts speaking in a more strained and angry way, and engages the Autobots! 

He hits Optimus with what appears to be a chest laser? It’s hard to see. But it’s super effective: 

Optimus pleads with Spike X to calm down, but Spike X straight up pulls MEGATRON IN GUN MODE out of his sub-space and shoots Optimus directly in the faceplate. Damn! 

The Seekers and Soundwave drop in, and start rapid firing on all the Autobots present. 

We get some great shots of Megatron in his gun alt-mode as he tries to convince Spike X to keep attacking. Optimus and Bumblebee hide behind cover, attempting to bring Spike X to his senses long enough to disarm him. 

Suddenly, Wheeljack and Sparkplug roll up; Sparkplug attempts to talk some sense into Spike, too. 

Optimus and Bumblebee are at a loss; If they take out Spike X, the damage might take him out for good. 

However, Sparkplug fails in his efforts to talk to Spike X; He SHOOTS HIS DAD AND KNOCKS HIM OFF THE CLIFF. 

Can you imagine if they put an ad break here? lmao 

Luckily, he has like, a claw machine arm, and he catches his dad before he becomes a human smoothie. 

This shocks Spike X badly enough that while he still has Megatron in gun mode, he takes a few pot shots at the Seekers and the Decepticons decide it’s time to bounce, so Megatron bails too. 

He apologises for almost killing his dad, his dad is like hey no beef man, and it cuts to them in the hospital: 

Sparkplug takes his son’s body back to the Autobot base (that sounds worse than it is), and they prepare to transfer him back into his body. 

What’s extra funny here is that he nervously laughs and says “Hope you fixed this thing up good, Ratchet!” And Ratchet says absolutely nothing. Not a word. 

It’s a success! Dad and son hug, totally not even addressing anything that happened this whole episode, because that’s a job for a therapist. 

Ratchet, who continues to not really care about any of this, tells Wheeljack “You know, I could probably repair that mess, but I think it’s best that I don’t.” (This is a play on what Wheeljack said earlier in the episode when he offered to help Sparkplug fix up Autobot X to begin with.) 

I love how tired Wheeljack looks. LOL

Spike, now recovered, leaves us with a great question to close out the episode: “I wonder what it’d be like for a robot mind to be transferred... to a human!” 

Depending on what kind of kid you were, his question was either imagination fuel for fun humanformer ideas, or was a blatantly bad question indicating he learned nothing and providing nightmare fuel trying to imagine one of the Autobots losing their shit in a human body the same way Spike lost his shit while inhabiting Autobot X. 

Anyway, great episode! 10/10 Scary, funny, creepy, Starscream got shot in the ass by a teenager. 

[uwua3]

if it's ok 😳👉👈 i really love your writing and i've had this idea in my head for awhile but i can't get myself to write it on my own 🤔 i wanted to see how your spin would be on it- so can i request a prompt where reader gets jealous of tenma's co-actress in a romance and tries to mimic what she does to him in a show they're in?? ty!!! 💕💕💕 i look forward to your interpretation

thank you so much for requesting~ ♡ i love you sososo much; i hope this lives up to everything you’ve dreamed of! ♡ ～('▽^人) i LOVE YOU!!! <333

summary: when tenma lands a role in your favorite drama, he had one goal: to become your favorite actor

warnings: envy/jealousy, food mentions, rivalry (all covered briefly!)

author’s note: after learning everything there is to know about the k-drama, true beauty, on tik tok, i’ve decided to write this! for context, the only thing i recommend watching before reading this is watching the “roar” scene!

this is also the first time i’ve introduced made-up characters with names! please enjoy jun, the first character who isn’t canon to the a3!verse :D

word count: 3,768

music: like a movie – b1a4

pretty u!

🌻☀️ sumeragi tenma

what the heck was love, and why did he have to be in it?

sumeragi tenma, future “world’s best actor”, was suddenly... seeing why he hadn’t won that award yet. with a script in his hand and confusion in another, tenma read the title of the next drama he landed the role for

“PRETTY U...” it was japan’s next major love story, advertised on every social media platform possible with the all-star cast in the spotlight already. although it had already been out for a season, tenma was entering as the up-and-coming newest character of the series

tenma was boyish, young, and much too confident for his age—perfect for the role of a second-lead bad boy who was going to steal the heart and test the protagonist’s commitment

except... he didn’t actually want to take up a new project so soon. he only did because—

“what?! you’re going to be chan on PRETTY U?!” he proudly nodded and watched as you began ranting about how much you loved this show. there was only one reason he came to the audition: tenma wanted to star in your favorite television series

you always went on and on about how great everything about PRETTY U was. after hearing so much and pretending not to listen (even if he could practically explain the entire plotline now without watching it), tenma let himself become a fan, too

after all, how could he not be a fan when you loved PRETTY U so much?

tenma didn’t respond to his manager’s pleas until one day, you revealed another reason why PRETTY U was your favorite production: the main lead

“he’s so handsome~ i love him so much!” “do you know him? could you get me his number?” “look at him... he’s the most perfect actor in the business right now—ah, sorry ten!”

tenma scoffed every time, claiming he could most certainly do better than that hotshot. although the boys typically didn’t do the same type of television, he had become tenma’s #1 rival without even knowing it

besides... what did that guy have that tenma didn’t? he was just nice! sure, he held open the door for the lead, bent down to tie her shoes, bended over backwards just to be the perfect boy-next-door. yeah... even he couldn’t pretend anymore

tenma pouted at the thought, skimming over his next pilot episode for rehearsal tomorrow. he was too good to be real, after all, he was meant to end up with the lead girl anyways (spoiler alert!)

but, it didn’t matter how perfect that actor was! because tenma had gotten the role of “chan”, the leather-jacket wearing mystery with an actual heart of gold, and he was going to make the entire audience swoon

(though, tenma just wanted to make your heart skip a beat when he ended up on the big screen)

tenma would never admit how fast he checked his phone when he felt it buzz in his pocket. sure, it was unprofessional during rehearsal but he knew it was you. however, his smile dropped the moment he read what you sent

you: remember to tell him how much i love him!

tenma: hah... no good luck for your new bad boy?

you: you know i’ll always root for you, ten!

tenma: but, i’m better than that actor, right?

tenma watched his message get delivered and was about to keep bothering you until someone called his name like they were friends. speak of the devil...

that actor’s straight, white toothy smile made tenma stand a little straighter (damn it, tenma was shorter), eyes wide as the actor gracefully introduced himself as his co-star for the next month or so (how did his voice sound even better in person?!)

“good morning, tenma! my name is jun, i’m so honored to meet a fellow actor on set! let’s work together well!” were they... really the same age? tenma barely registered the fact he was suddenly shaking jun’s (right, that’s his name) hand. why did he have such a manly grip?

tenma quickly (to his dismay) found out that him & jun had entered the industry around the same time but often had different projects, so they were never featured in the same production before. apparently, that was creating quite a buzz in the media that two childhood stars were competing against one another

a competition that tenma couldn’t lose. he was going to be your favorite actor, not his rival!

jun, like the perfect gentleman everyone described him to be, showed tenma around the PRETTY U set. jun had nothing but good things to say about the crew and vise versa. that only reinforced how tenma was oddly much more quiet than he usually was. luckily, one of the talents of being an actor was improvising, so jun was doing just fine

when they had reached the dressing rooms, jun shot a bright smile at tenma and gestured to the rather large room

“we’ll be sharing a dressing room together, tenma! we’ll be spending a lot of time together!”

tenma suddenly regretted his decision to become chan of PRETTY U. you couldn’t have had a different favorite show?! anything but... this

there were now three main characters for PRETTY U: hoshi, yuri, and chan, creating a love triangle for millions of viewers to watch every week

nakamura jun, leading role, played “hoshi”, the boy-next-door. this is the popular boy at school with the best grades and an even greater reputation amongst everyone. next, uedo ren, one of japan’s rising female actresses of this generation. she is adored as “yuri”, the perfect girl. she is the typical nerd who suddenly transformed into the prettiest girl at school from learning make-up

last (but definitely not least!) is sumeragi tenma, playing “chan”, the bad boy. it was nothing like tenma’s done before, since the character was much less expressive than he was used to. chan is a traditional rebel who is revealed to have a soft side for yuri. but, chan (ironically enough) has a secret history with hoshi, causing tension in this already confusing love triangle

(embarrassingly enough, jun had to explain to tenma the complications and ties between each character. tenma, unfortunately, found it to be extremely helpful)

even with this newfound knowledge of the characters in season 2, tenma couldn’t help but absolutely ruin the first day of rehearsals. even with a decade or so of acting as his experience, one thing kept him from being chan: his lack of chemistry with “yuri”

“cut!” the director called out again for the nth time, sighing as their eyes landed on tenma, who was not enjoying being the center of attention this time, surprisingly

“take 5, kid. once you come back, i expect you to actually go through this scene without messing up your lines.” tenma nodded and exited quickly, feeling flustered from the looks of sympathy directed his way. usually, it was one-and-done. it didn’t take a hundred tries just to do another romantic and cliché scene

tenma exhaled loudly once he felt the fresh air upon his face. without the fear of cameras in his face anymore, tenma ran his hand through his hair with a frustrated kick at the concrete. come on! he was renown child actor sumeragi tenma, why was he so in his head now?

tenma was about to yell into the sky before he heard someone close the door, standing beside him with their usual silence. tenma didn’t even have to look to know it was jun (probably with the most pitiful look ever)

“tenma? are you okay?” jun waited as tenma tried to not say anything he’d regret, shifting his weight on his foot back and forth before relenting, shrugging as if it couldn’t be helped

“i don’t know... i just, i can’t see yuri that way. how am i supposed to flirt with someone i don’t even like?”

jun pondered the thought for a moment, before tilting his head, a boyish smile overtaking his features. tenma unwillingly relaxed; jun finally looked his age

“who do you like then?”

tenma froze, a blush even foundation couldn’t hide blossoming on his cheeks. jun let out a teasing “oooh!” as he nudged tenma with his shoulder, who pushed back with an eye-roll

“i-it’s not like that! don’t be so—ugh!” tenma cut himself off, rubbing the back of his neck and avoiding jun’s knowing eyes. damn it, they barely knew each other. why was he getting so comfortable with his enemy?!

“well, whoever you thought of, imagine yuri as them.”

“is that what you do?”

jun shrugged, not giving a clear answer for once. before tenma could ask for more information, their break was over

when tenma returned to the scene, he took a deep breath and closed his eyes. when he opened them again, he watched as yuri transformed into the one person he’s been trying to impress this entire time: you

when “you” smiled, tenma couldn’t help but follow along. his first-take after break made the cut for the final product

“you must really like them, tenma~” — “stop!!!”

filiming afterwards became easy, especially when he imagined all his romantic words were directed towards you. he could feel the clamminess of his hands, the rapid beat of his heart, the intense blush across his face, all at the thought of you

(the only time he had to start over was when he accidentally said your name instead of yuri’s)

tenma was sure he’d become your favorite actor now! after all, you were his favorite person

“will you watch the first episode of PRETTY U’s season 2 with me?”

you had never said yes so fast in your entire life. when tenma learned there’d be a cast-viewing of episode 1 after finishing the season, he knew his +1 invite could only go to the biggest fan of the show

throughout filming, you were always the person who got him in trouble when the text tone wasn’t put on silent. you liked spamming tenma with a bunch of supportive and encouraging messages when you were available, meaning tenma always had something to look forward to after each scene

in return, tenma would send a selfie of him with his castmates or the set (or, what he was allowed to show under his contract). yet, despite your constant pleas, there was one co-star he’d never take a photograph with: jun

(“tenma! we’ve worked together for months~ shouldn’t i be called your friend now?” “no—” “huh?! don’t pretend you don’t like me!” “who said i was pretending?” “tenma!”)

at first, tenma was apprehensive about inviting you to an event where jun’s picture-perfect face would be on display everywhere. but, whenever he saw you, the weight of the tickets suddenly felt much heavier in his pocket. he couldn’t deprieve you of such an exclusive event just because of his jealousy (even if he was this close to doing so)

when tenma impulsively asked three days before, it felt worth it when you threw your arms around him (he hugged you back and pretended this meant something to you)

“i love you, ten!”

tenma felt like he was on set again, with yuri’s arms tightly holding onto his heart

“i love you, too.”

even after saying it so many times, tenma meant it even if he didn’t say it to your face every time

you looked like the star of the show

tenma fixed his tie as his blazer suddenly felt too tight. you appeared in your most formal attire, looking like a million bucks as you two sat across each other in the limo

“ten, look at all of this!” you pointed out every little thing of preparing for a professional event. the little glasses of champagne neither of you two could drink sat to the side as the leather seats molded to fit your posture. as the night lights of tokyo blurred by, tenma couldn’t help but think you sparkled more than this diamond of a city

“i can’t wait to go see the first episode! thank you for inviting me.” you bowed your head, as if suddenly overcome with gratefulness. tenma lightly kicked your shoe with his, fondly rolling his eyes as he tried not to smile (mission failed)

“don’t worry about it, who else would i bring? you’re my favorite pe—friend. friend, yeah...” tenma trailed off, suddenly finding something very interesting outside of the window. you only nodded, seemingly more interested in the fact there was enough room to walk around

when tenma caught sight of the infamous red carpet laid out in front of the theatre, he cleared his throat and put on his best face for the cameras. after stepping out of the car with his bodyguards nearby, tenma turned and gave you a genuine smile. not his typical arrogant smirk the news source ate up, but a type of smile only reserved for you

when he held out his hand, the flashing lights behind him seemed like a real celebrity, something you had never considered him to be before. it was like seeing tenma in a new light (both literally and figuratively)

“shall we?” you took his hand and wondered if you could ever have your own j-drama. perhaps, tenma could even be the main lead...

before you could step off to the side, tenma already had his arm wrapped around your waist with his unchanging expression (however, underneath it all, he was internally freaking out. what was he going to do now?!)

“you’re my date, right? walk the red carpet with me.” tenma winked (you swore it sparkled) as he gestured towards the carpet ahead. suddenly, the line seemed much longer

“t-ten... you’ve never brought a date before...” you mumbled, acutely aware of how soon it was to walk down together. tenma’s arm stiffened, but nothing else exposed the revelation as he looked down at you

“you’re my first, then.” and my last, tenma thought to himself. before you could change your mind, it was showtime. tenma put on his movie star face and introduced you to familiar interviewers, smiling away as if you two weren’t panicking on the inside

while you were focusing on the fact you were going to be going viral as tenma’s first “date” to the event, tenma was trying not to blush from how close you were. you felt... right besides him

tenma was a natural in front of an audience waiting for him to make a mistake. he flawlessly answered every question with swaggering confidence, his stride easy and poses photogenic

you did your best to follow his lead but it all ended when tenma took you into the theatre, staring down at you with a bright smile

“we did it! see, told you we’d be just fine.” tenma let out an exhale of relief, glowing with joy from the adrenaline of everything that came with being a superstar. as you looked up into his excited eyes, you saw him lean down before—

“your arm is still around me.”

silence, then a hurried separation as tenma put too many feet between you two. it was suddenly as if you two were strangers. you regretted the words the moment they left your mouth; you didn’t mind at all... why did you say something?!

“um... so, food?” tenma spoke up after an eternity of making excuses. you two quickly moved to the line of movie snacks, using candy and popcorn to substitue the suddenly awkward silence

when tenma ordered all your favorites without even asking, he turned around with the selection only to close his eyes and internalize every single thing he was feeling because there he was, his worst enemy

jun entered from a side door, most likely finishing up helping the crew with set-up (and 30 minutes early as usual) before catching tenma’s iconic bright orange hair, a grin lighting up his face

“tenma! it’s me, jun!” he said, as if they weren’t the two main leads of japan’s most famous drama so far. immediately, your smile matched jun’s as you watched as your favorite actor of all time make his way towards you two

“jun... of course you’d be here.” tenma said through gritted teeth, forcing a pleasant smile even with an armful of junk

“ah, still keeping the bad boy attitude? we’re off set now, you can stop method acting now.” jun joked, bringing his attention to you with a dazzling smile that would absolutely make any fansite’s career

“oh? who is this, a friend of yours?” tenma tried not to sigh so loud when you couldn’t help yourself and burst into a long rant about how amazing jun was. tenma waited until you reached your midpoint and stopped you with a quick nudge, trying not to scream (could jun stop being so... perfect? could you stop being so cute?!)

when tenma introduced you, he stood a little closer as he tried to maintain his jealousy. “they’re my date, by the way.” no one had asked, but tenma was clearly telling anyone who was around you two had gone together

jun’s eyes lit up in recognition as he let out a noise of surprise. “ah~ so this is who you—”

tenma didn’t regret losing his giant popcorn so fast to a co-star who could only be silenced with food. his wallet could afford another one, anyways. his pride on the other hand? could not let you know his acting secret already

“what was jun going to say?” you asked after you two departed for the viewing room. tenma nonchalantly pretended like everything was okay as he guided you to front row

“probably something about the fact you’re the one who always interrupts our scenes.”

“hey! my texts make your day, don’t lie!”

“go sit down and eat already, jeez.”

when it began, your eyes couldn’t leave the screen. it was better than you could have imagined. everything was perfect, it exceeded the standards of even the toughest fans out there. you loved every second of it... except...

tenma was too good at being chan. even with his bright hair, the dark clothes he wore made him appear intimidating, with his sharp eyes and even sharper smirk. chan’s appearance was tough, rough, and mean, everything tenma wasn’t

yet, you still couldn’t help but feel your heart sink when chan was clearly in love with yuri. yuri was one of your favorite characters by far, but she ended up bothering you for the entireity of the episode

especially every time she shared a scene (which were many times) with chan. chan was revealed to be a bad boy with a heart of gold, all with a special soft side for yuri

what was this feeling? were you... no, you couldn’t be! after all, you had never seen tenma that way before, right? yet, every time chan made an exception for yuri, you felt sick to your stomach

was it possible that tenma liked the actress who played yuri? you snuck a glance at tenma, only to see he was looking at you already (he’d never admit it, but he was watching your reactions to see if he made you proud. yet, every time you saw him, you subconsciously frowned)

were you not proud of him? did you not like his performance as chan?

before tenma could ask you, the scene changed into one of chan’s. he was standing outside in the school uniform, his head ducked as he swiped through yuri’s social media. before he could look up, yuri jumped in front of him with a teasing smile

“roar!” she called out, referring to their inside joke earlier in the episode. yuri cutely bounced back with another roar, holding her hands up like paws. chan watched, his typical rock-hard expression breaking to reveal his developing feelings for yuri

later on, chan stopped yuri in the hallway, other students watching as the school’s bad boy and goddess interact

“do that again.” chan demanded to which yuri innocently tilted her head, confused like a little puppy. “do what?” “that... that thing.” when chan roared, tenma sunk into his seat with an embarrassed defense and explanation ready. but, when he looked, you finally cracked a laugh at his little roar

your smile only fell when yuri roared again as a joke, but chan smiled for once. tenma wondered why... he thought you would be so happy to be here with him. maybe, he’d never be better than jun...

when the episode ended, it took a moment before you stood up and clapped. tenma followed along, but all he could think about was how he let you down. not only as chan, but as your boy, too

when you two left the room, you two hung back to watch as everyone congratulated one another on the success of the production. in the midst of the cheer and celebration, tenma felt small as he watched your blank expression

what did he do wrong? he put his best efforts into every scene; he might even say it was his best work yet. before he could apologize, you did the unthinkable: you roared

you jumped up into his face, holding your hands up like yuri did. when yuri did it, tenma didn’t feel a thing. but, when you did, tenma felt it. the butterflies fluttered in his stomach as he stared at you, frozen in place

“this is the part where you ask me to do it again.” you shyly trailed off, about to put your hands down before tenma weakly put his hands up, knowing he was about to regret his next move (if the embarrassment didn’t kill him, he didn’t know what would)

“roar!”

that was too loud, wasn’t it? the room suddenly went a lot more quiet as they turned their attention towards a teen actor roaring at his date

“yah! why didn’t you ask me the next line?”

“b-because... i know i like you even without you doing, that, again.”

you paused, taken back by his honesty. as tenma contemplated just falling onto the floor right then and there, you suddenly hardened your expression, standing up straighter with your arms crossed

“do that again.”

“do what?”

“that thing.”

when tenma roared again, much quieter this time, you nodded as you finally smiled genuinely for the first time ever since that episode started

“good, i know how chan feels now. i like you, too.”

“does that mean i’m your favorite actor now?”

(when jun released a video of tenma roaring online, he captioned it with “ROAR = ILY!!!” tenma realized maybe he wasn’t all that bad, but still)

[amispnrewatch]

SPN 1x06 “Skin”

Okay, I’m gonna try to type while I watch this time instead of forgetting this blog exists until the episode is almost over.

You can tell the footage for the previously on segment was saved on a VHS copy instead of the original film that the show was shot with because even in the HD iTunes version I have it looks low quality as fuck. And jumpy in the way that brings me back to my teens watching the WB all the damn time.

I love this song. WTF is this song. Shazam says “Good Deal” by Mommy and Daddy. I… have no comment, except that it sounds like everything I was listening to in college at the time this shit was airing.

Aaaaand not!Dean turns around to face the SWAT team after obviously torturing some woman. THAT is a cold open.

I wanna know what that car is in the background. It’s pretty. Maybe a convertible Impala? They have similar grills. This is not at all important.

Also, I love that with these higher definition versions of the episodes you can see that Sam’s email is lawboy and whatever dot com and that people in the fandom have started calling him Law Boy. It’s hilarious.

DEAN: Well, what exactly do you tell ‘em? You know, about where you’ve been, what you’ve been doin’?

SAM: I tell ‘em I’m on a road trip with my big brother. I tell ‘em I needed some time off after Jess.

DEAN: Oh, so you lie to ‘em.

SAM: No. I just don’t tell ‘em….everything.

DEAN: Yeah, that’s called lying. I mean, hey, man, I get it, tellin’ the truth is far worse.

SAM: So, what am I supposed to do, just cut everybody out of my life? (DEAN shrugs.) You’re serious?

DEAN: Look, it sucks, but in a job like this, you can’t get close to people, period.

Aaaaand now I have Dean and Cassie feelings again and we haven’t even gotten to her episode yet.

SAM: No, man, I know Zack. He’s no killer.

DEAN: Well, maybe you know Zack as well as he knows you.

Aaaaaand now I have Dean and Lee feelings and we’re nowhere near Lee’s episode in season 15.

YOU JUST BLEW THROUGH A STOP SIGN DEAN WTF.

Little Becky. Oi with the reusing of names.

Of course Sam made friends with a bunch of rich kids while he was at college in a desperate attempt to try to be normal.

SAM: You know, maybe we could see the crime scene. Zack’s house.

DEAN: We could.

REBECCA: Why? I mean, what could you do?

SAM: Well, me, not much. But Dean’s a cop. (DEAN laughs.)

DEAN: Detective, actually.

I love that Dean was like “how dare you call me that.”

Okay, after a bit of research, I totally want to take a day trip to Bisbee, Arizona, but it’s already in the 90s here in the desert and it’s not even May so that trip is going to have to wait until… winter or something. There is no way in hell I’m going deeper into the desert when the weather gets hotter.

It’s a historic mining town tourist trap looking place now which is exactly the kind of shit I love.

SAM: Bec, look, I know Zack didn’t do this. Now, we have to find a way to prove that he’s innocent.

I mean, not technically, technically you would 1) NOT FUCK WITH A MURDER INVESTIGATION YOU’RE NOT LEGALLY INVOLVED IN BECAUSE ANYTHING YOU FIND WOULD BE INADMISSABLE IN COURT 2) find evidence to provide a reasonable doubt for the jury that he did commit the crime. You know, like a lawyer would need to do, Law Boy.

DEAN: I just don’t think this is our kind of problem.

When I made my husband watch this show with me (he’s seen it all at least once now over the years) this is the recurring thing that drove him crazy.

You guys can’t even go in through the back door? Or shut the front door behind you? Really?

REBECCA: (tearfully) Well, there’s no sign of a break-in. They say that Emily let her attacker in.

Yeah, that doesn’t even really mean that she knew her attacker. Just that it was someone she let her guard down around or got in some other way. See: The Son of Sam and Nightstalker, etc.

Love the pinup magnet on the fridge. I’d throw shade at that, but I have a pinup magnet on my fridge too so… pot kettle and all that.

Okay, both people in the next couple are gorgeous.

And oh wow those special effects changing eyes… wow.

This poor couple. I feel so bad for them in this episode.

How… how are the police gonna explain the way he was able to beat himself over the head with a bat??? I…

I love that 5:30 in the morning on TV is clearly like… 10 AM.

Okay, this is a really unrelated point, but the graffiti on the dumpster here reminds me of the Teen Wolf fandoms use of the name Void!Stiles when Stiles Stilinski was possessed by a Nogitsune… I just spent way too long digging through YouTube and my Tumblr tags from back when those episodes were airing looking for a few specific videos and couldn’t find them. The TL;DR reason I bring it up here is goofball, bi-coded main character guy getting possessed by an entity set on destroying the people he loves. SOUNDS LIKE THIS EPISODE AND A WHOLE LOT OF SPN RIGHT. I love that all these monster hunting shows call out to each other.

This scene haunts me years later and I don’t even WATCH Teen Wolf. I just watched the fandom on Tumblr collectively lose it’s shit then tripped down a Hale Pack fanfiction rabbit hole.

ANYWAY

Back to Supernatural, a show that also treated its fan base, cast, and characters like garbage! Huzzah!

DEAN: Well, there’s another way to go—down. (They look down and notice a manhole.)

I’m gonna be mature and ignore the double entendre there…

But I love that Dean thinks of the world in 3D. Which sounds like a dumb statement to make, but this is honestly a good example of that in action.

SAM: I bet this runs right by Zack’s house, too.

Really Sam, sewers run by houses? SO WEIRD. I WOULD HAVE NEVER GUESSED.

DEAN: You know, I just had a sick thought. When the shapeshifter changes shape—maybe it sheds.

SAM: That is sick. (DEAN puts the bloody pile back on the ground.)

Guys, there is a WHOLE ASS EAR in that pile of yuck you’re looking at. I think it’s pretty safe to assume the shapeshifter indeed sheds its skin like a snake. A much… gooier snake.

Sam’s friend is rightfully pissed at him for fucking with the crime scene.

This is before the pearl gripped guns?! Wow. I never noticed that before.

Also, this whole episode gives me feelings.

++++

Cool. Tumblr mobile ate a whole section of my notes on this when it crashed for NO APPARENT REASON. Love that.

It always boggles my mind that actors can trust the people they’re working with enough to let people “tie” ropes around their neck or put them in actually dangerous positions in a scene.

SHAPESHIFTER: He’s sure got issues with you. You got to go to college. He had to stay home. I mean, I had to stay home. With Dad. You don’t think I had dreams of my own? But Dad needed me. Where the hell were you?

SAM: Where is my brother? (The shapeshifter leans in close to SAM.)

SHAPESHIFTER: I am your brother. See, deep down, I’m just jealous. You got friends. You could have a life. Me? I know I’m a freak. And sooner or later, everybody’s gonna leave me. (He backs away.)

SAM: What are you talkin’ about?

SHAPESHIFTER: You left. Hell, I did everything Dad asked me to, and he ditched me, too. No explanation, nothin’, just poof. Left me with your sorry ass. But, still, this life? It’s not without its perks. (He laughs.) I meet the nicest people. Like little Becky. You know, Dean would bang her if he had the chance. Let’s see what happens. (He smiles and covers SAM with a sheet.)

This exchange is just… so much. So many feelings. And I will forever (unless we magically get a fix-it fic mini season someday…) be SO MAD that none of this got resolved in that pointless, trash heap of a finale.

REBECCA: Okay, so, this thing—it can make itself look like anybody?

SHAPESHIFTER: That’s right. (She chuckles.)

REBECCA: Well, what is it, like a genetic freak? (The shapeshifter laughs.)

SHAPESHIFTER: Maybe. Evolution is about mutation, right? So, maybe this thing was born human but was different. Hideous and hated. Until he learned to become someone else. (REBECCA looks around, uncomfortable. The shapeshifter’s eyes glint silver, and he smiles.)

It always amazes me how much of this show is a pile of accidental queer allegories parading around in an ill-fitting toxic masculinity suit.

Vulcan mind meld! I love nerd!Dean. Also, I’m rewatching Star Trek: TOS with my husband, because that is what my life amounts to these days, rewatching comfort TV and flailing over the bits I love.

This post does a better job than I can do of pairing up screen caps with the dialogue of this next scene. SIX EPISODES IN. They’re dumping all of this character depth SIX EPISODES IN. FUCK THIS SHOW FOR NOT EMBRACING ITSELF.

Okay, I love that he screams back in her face after he threw the phone. It’s not something to laugh at because the situation is horrifying, but I can’t help laughing at it every time.

AND THE WAY THEY CUT THESE SCENES. Going from him winding his hand back to backslap her directly to him dropping the chains on the table to show how hard he must have hit her without actually making the actors hit each other. Good job editing department!

I… don’t understand the shifter’s motivation for killing people. If he can take over people’s identities without killing them, why kill them? Is it just because he’s a homicidal, rapist piece of shit? Cause that’s all it seems like.

How did the SWAT team even know she was being attacked? Why can the snipers aim no better than Storm Troopers?

Ugh, these kind of transformation body horror scenes are exactly why werewolf stories have never really appealed to me much. Like, I could do without watching your ribs move and teeth fall out, dude.

BUT.

THIS FUCKING SCENE.

I looked up the song that’s playing over shapeshifter!Dean being caught by the SWAT team and then going through the grotesque transformation. (And as far as I know, the iTunes version has the original music from the episodes.)

It’s a song called “Mary” by The Death Riders

Who's your mother, who's your mother here boy // Who's your mother, whos your mommy dear // Who's your father, who's your father here boy // Who's your father, who's your daddy dear

Silently screaming // Where everyone knows // Daddy's always watchin' // Where everywhere - everywhere I go

I don't wanna be a freak show pretty boy anymore // I don't wanna be a full time slave // I don't wanna be your midnight cowboy anymore // I just want to be Mary

This is… a fascinating choice. Here are the rest of the lyrics. The song as a whole has a weird incesty kinda vibe to it? Kinda like when SPN tries to straight-wash itself and misses the mark wildly. (Like Dean’s male siren episode.)

The midnight cowboy line reminded me of 12x11 and the bull riding scene with “Broomstick Cowboy” by Bobby Goldsboro playing over it

Dream on, little Broomstick Cowboy, // Dream while you can; // Of big green frogs, // And puppy dogs, // And castles in the sand.

For, all too soon you'll awaken; // Your toys will all be gone. // Your broomstick horse will ride away, // To find another home. // And you'll have grown into a man, // With cowboys of your own. // And then you'll have to go to war, // To try and save your home.

And then you'll have to learn to hate; // You'll have to learn to kill. // It's always been that way, my son; // I guess it always will.

Because, you know, why not add tons of feelings into the lyrics, right?

Props to the people who can embrace their rewatches and reclamations of the show with ease. Because every episode seems to remind me of how hollow and tragic Dean’s ending was and I just… struggle all over again.

Anyway, back to the episode so I can move on with my day.

REPORTER: An anonymous tip led police to a home in the Central West End, where a S.W.A.T team discovered a local woman bound and gagged. Her attacker, a white male, approximately twenty-four to thirty years of age, was discovered hiding in her home. (A sketch of DEAN appears on the screen.)

DEAN: Man! That’s not even a good picture. (SAM looks around cautiously.)

SAM: It’s good enough. (He walks away.)

DEAN: Man! (He follows SAM.)

(CUT TO: Alley. DEAN and SAM are walking. DEAN steps into a puddle.)

DEAN: Ugh, come on.

I love that we get two tiny little back-to-back vanity moments for Dean here. One commenting on the sketch artist rendition of him being broadcasted on the news and the other tripping in the puddle. There is literally someone running around the city trying to kill people while wearing Dean’s face, but Dean is still concerned with how he looks appears to others. He’s still concerned with keeping up his own performance. The shifter left him with just a t-shirt, so he doesn’t even have his usual comfort layers on and at any moment someone could spot him and call the police or try to kill him for assaulting Sam’s friend. His life is wildly out of control in that moment and the only thing he can try to focus on is his appearance (something semi-controllable) and finding the shifter before any of that other shit can happen.

One day I want to put together a like top 10 episodes focusing on / explaining each TFW character from the series. Like the kind of list you could show someone who’s never seen the show, but has OPINIONS about the characters (or who hasn’t seen the whole show and seen the growth they went through… you know, like the people responsible for the travesty of 15x20). This episode would be on that list. I’m not sure how I could manage to make a list of only 10 episodes to understand Dean Winchester by, but eh.

SAM: What are you gonna do to me?

SHAPESHIFTER: Oh, I’m not gonna do anything. Dean will, though.

SAM: They’ll never catch him.

SHAPESHIFTER: Oh, doesn’t matter. Murder in the first of his own brother? He’ll be hunted the rest of his life. (He picks up a sharp knife and examines it.)

Speaking of season 15 in general, this right here. This was Chuck’s villain story arc thesis statement. AND THEY DROPPED THE GODDAMN BALL WITH IT. I think that’s the thing that honestly pisses me off the most these days (about 5 1/2 months from when the finale aired) is that they tried making the whole thing a tragedy but did such an awful job with it that it just ended up like a deflating condom balloon at a dive bar concert. Disappointing and gross. The finale for season 14 set them up SO FUCKING WELL and it just… didn’t get there.

Becky’s parents are gonna be pissed at how torn up their house is after all this shit…

And you’re not shooting him when you first see him strangling Sam because…?????

I like that he took the necklace back. Also, is this kinda Dean death number .5 of the show? Like it wasn’t him but it was also kinda him. Eh.

At least they left the windshield on Baby this time. Reflections are better than tearing her apart.

[ex-vengeancedemon]

Payback and Performances

Summary: Set at the beginning of Season 2 after Buffy gets back from summer vacation in LA after having been killed by the Master. A what-if scenario where in episode 2x01 When She Was Bad, Buffy dances with Spike instead of Xander to make Angel jealous.

Alternate version of my fic "Hey Jealousy" written from Spike's POV instead of Buffy's.

Read below or on ao3.

----------------------------------------------------

Well this was the joint. The Bronze. What kind of tosser named this dive anyway? Supposedly this was the slayer's regular haunt, according to the Annoying one and his lackeys. Spike wasn't sure how much longer he could play nice with the locals. Then again, maybe he wouldn't have to. He may just have gotten all the useful information from them that he was going to get. Which didn't amount to bloody much. Oh so she liked this... what even was this place? Bar? Dance club? Bar dance club? Much more of this music and he'd really be needing a drink... didn't have to be booze. The only other things he had learned from his new colleagues was that her watcher was the school librarian and she tended to move around with a group of nerds. The irritating lack of information was the cause of this little bit of reconnaissance. Gotta get to know a slayer a bit first before you kill her.

Spike moved away towards the edge of the dance floor, sliding seamlessly between the dancing patrons. She wasn't here. Not yet. But someone else was. Spike did his best to put bodies between him and his old pal, keeping carefully in the shadows. No need to go ruffling Angelus' soulful feathers. At least, not before he found the slayer. Spike had heard that he was going by Angel now, feeding off vermin and such. Pathetic really. How the mighty have fallen. And what was up with the hair?

On the bright side, if the slayer didn't show up, he could certainly make a night out of messing with Angel. The ponce was just standing there, staring intently at the door of the establishment. The few people who had attempted to speak to him had been curtly dismissed. Angel's seeming fascination with the door had allowed Spike to more or less have a run of the place. He could probably slaughter everyone on the balcony without Angel even raising an eye. What'd he think was gonna waltz through that door? Redemption? An evil demon? A blood bank? Elephants on parade?

Spike plucked a full cup out of some co-ed's hand as they walked past.

"Hey man!" the guy with the Hawaiian shirt protested. Good thing for the shirt too, it was the only thing the dullard had going for him it seemed. "What gives?"

Spike took a drink out of the cup and made a face. "Mate, that's the worst piss I've put in my mouth since the prohibition." Spike tossed the cup aside, spilling liquid on a few of the dancers and earning him a few glares.

The man muttered under his breath but scampered off when Spike shot him a toothy grin. He didn't know why the humans got so worked up over his real face. It was just for an instant. Sure was funny to watch though. As Spike suspected, Angel remained completely oblivious to his little scene. All the better.

Finally, Angel straightened, tensing up as he did so. Spike eyed the door. Whatever Angel had been waiting for, this was it. And then the devil walked in.

Although walked certainly didn't seem to cover it. More like strutted. She removed her long black coat that extended just as far as her little black dress. The back was low cut, exposing what was meant to be a scintillating amount of skin. She looked good, and she knew it. So this was the slayer. Buffy. She matched the photos. He was a bit surprised. This was clearly a girl out looking for trouble. And you know what they say: go looking for trouble and you're sure to find it. Not exactly what he had been expecting, but it would make things more interesting. Slayer on a bender. He loved a good bender.

The surprises didn't stop as Angel approached the vampire slayer. So the git had a death wish then? Probably couldn't take one more day of rat. However, instead of staking him, they just... talked. Well, that was anticlimactic.

Spike couldn't hear what they were saying, but he examined them carefully from afar. She seemed flippant, even laughing. He seemed dour. Then - what was that? Was that hurt? Did she hurt Angelus' feelings? Realization dawned on him as he broke out in a grin. This was just too good. Spike could spot a heartbreak from a mile away. The vampire was in love with the slayer. Poor Angelus. Couldn't be a man, couldn't be a monster. Forget Fortuna, Spike's new favorite deity was irony. If only he could get a picture of that crestfallen face, really preserve the moment.

The slayer brushed passed Angel - giving him the cold shoulder so to speak - and headed out onto the dance floor. Spike was somewhat amused to notice that she was quite literally turning heads. Confidence has that effect. All about confidence. Put on a good show. His amusement turned to concern as he realized she was moving directly toward him. Had he been made? 'Suppose it was too late to slink off. Bugger it. He could give her a damn good show. Plenty of people around to threaten and all. Then again, he wasn't sure exactly where she was stashing the stake...

She stopped in front of him, apparently reaching her intended target. She was at ease, seemingly not bent on killing him. At least, not right then.

"And just what can I do for you?" Spike asked, raising an eyebrow with a smirk.

Buffy tilted her head slightly as a small smile tugged at the corner of her mouth. It suddenly struck him that she wasn't intending on staking him at all. Apologies Fortuna, I'll never slander you again.

Buffy cocked her head towards the crowd of people moving along to the music. "Well this is a dance floor. Dance with me."

His eyes widened slightly and he glanced over at Angel, the movement almost imperceptible. Angel seemed to be struck in some sort of shock. Guess the cover was blown.

Spike let out a low chuckle. "Who am I to refuse a lady?"

Buffy took his hand and pulled him out into the center of the dance floor. Now this was a laughable turn of events. Spike shot a smirk over at Angel. He was paler than usual and his forehead was creased with concern... and fear. No good mate, all that worry will give you wrinkles. Angel's eyes never left them. Spike also noticed that Buffy was casting furtive glances over Angel's way. Lover's tryst then. Even better.

Spinning around to face him, Buffy slowly raised her hands above her head and began swaying her hips to the music. It was a slow, sultry song, which was perfect for taunting one's jilted former. Spike placed his hands on her waist and pulled her closer as he moved along with her. He could almost start to like this music. It was different than the type of dancing he normally did with slayers. Probably not something he should make a habit of, although she was making a tempting case for it.

He leaned in closer to her ear and said, "Name's Spike."

"I don't remember asking," Buffy replied, moving her arms down over his head.

Ouch love. Fine then. Names get left at the door.

Spike grinned back and pulled her flush against him. "Oh you're a fiery one. I like it. Got to appreciate a girl with flair."

Buffy locked eyes with him, holding his gaze for a moment. Curious. She had green eyes. He was going to enjoy watching the light leave them. A light blush rose in her cheeks as she broke eye contact. She hastily turned around with her back facing Spike, wrapping his arms back around her waist as she did so. He let his hands wander slightly as he looked over at Angel, who stood rigid as a board. Spike mimed biting into Buffy's neck - letting his face transform into that of a demon for an instant - then raised a finger to his lips. Now now Angel, let's not do anything rash.

He leaned back down next to her ear and asked, "Is that your beau over there?"

"What?" Buffy asked, startled out of an almost trace-like state.

Her eyes drifted immediately over to Angel, who seemed to be sweating in the metaphorical sense of the word. Of course, Spike assumed that was exactly what she wanted. A reaction. Well, she was certainly getting one.

"The git you've been eyeing," Spike replied, smirking against her ear. "What'd he do to merit this little show?"

Instead of answering, she reached up and put her hand behind his head, moving slowly down and then back up again. He momentarily forgot about Angel as his hands traced lightly along the curves of her body, barely concealed under the thin layer of fabric. She certainly knew how to give a performance. And he wasn't exactly rushing to give up the charade.

As she moved his head back down to her neck, she finally answered, "Wouldn't you like to know?"

Spike turned her around and placed his arms on her shoulders, locking his hands behind her. "Bloody right I would. But, I'll settle for evening the score. Want to give him a real show?"

An idea had hit him. Something that was sure to get under Angelus' thick skin and even their scorecard.

He took her chin between his thumb and index finger and lifted her head up slightly. This time when they locked eyes, Buffy didn't look away. Taking that as an invitation, Spike leaned down and kissed her. The kiss started out slow but quickly deepened as he leaned her backwards slightly, holding her firmly by the small of her back. She tasted familiar. Spike placed it easily - she tasted like fear. Although he doubted he was what she was afraid of at the moment. He traced his hand up her spine and smiled into the kiss as he felt her shudder. He hoped Angel was watching. Wouldn't want him to miss a moment of this. It was only fair really. Payback's a bitch.

Buffy pulled away, her skin slightly flushed, as the song came to an end. "Guess that's curtains."

"A gentleman would walk a lady home," Spike replied, still holding onto her waist.

It'd be such a shame to end the night so early. And without spilling even a drop of blood.

"Are you a gentleman?"

"Wouldn't you like to know?" he replied, mimicking her earlier line.

He raised an eyebrow at her and offered her his arm. She hesitated for a moment before accepting it. It really was too good to be true. And pissing off Angelus was just icing on the already frosted cake. Alright slayer, how about you, me, a little deserted alley with no witnesses?

Spike winked at Angel as they walked to the door. All the fear on Angel's face had been replaced by pure unadulterated rage. Been a while since Spike had seen that expression. When was the last time? Boxer rebellion maybe? Buffy glanced back at Angel and Spike registered her surprise. Guess he hadn't ever been that pissed at her before. Cute.

Buffy and Spike had only gotten maybe 10 yards outside the Bronze when he heard the metal door slam open. Spike sighed. Of course, Angel would have to ruin all the fun.

Angel came rushing out of the Bronze and yelled after them. "Buffy!"

Spike took his arm back from Buffy and gave her a charming smile. "Well, I think that's my cue."

With that, he walked off - not bothering to hurry - with his hands in his pockets, leaving a bewildered Buffy behind him. Angel had broken out into a sprint and was barreling toward her, her gallant savior and what all. No matter. There was always next time. And he had a feeling this time would be stuck in both their memories for a good long while. He knew he wouldn't be forgetting it anytime soon.

"Angel?" Buffy asked. "What the hell?"

Spike raised an arm up and waved without looking back. "I'm sure I'll be seeing you around, Slayer!" He paused a moment to let his words hit. "Oh, and Angel?" Spike said, turning around and continuing to walk away backwards. "Your girl? Delicious."

He gave one last satisfied grin before disappearing around the corner. See you soon love.